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dionysusdecent · 10 months

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Heathcliff ID Sin Analysis

Woo, first post, and its about Heathcliff. Alright straight to the point. Its as the title says, this is a Sin Analysis on all of Heathcliff’s IDs. This was made awhile ago before R Corp. Meursault was revealed. And yes, that does somewhat have something to do with R Corp. Heath. Anyway, this was made using @lu-is-not-ok‘s guide to Sin Analysis....mainly because its much more in-depth than what I could have done on my own. This doesn't include any E.G.O. because my brain can only do so much. But here it is, my official Heathcliff ID Sin Analysis and how R Corp. Heath has the weirdest Sin affinities when looking at the ID in this light.

LCB Sinner Heathcliff

Envy - Heathcliff’s whole thing is Revenge. His bat has Revenge written on it, clearly showing that getting revenge is his thing. This sin showcases that he wants to get revenge on someone, something or multiple people/things. Due to him being a backstreets kid, he most likely wants revenge on the rich, though its also possible, he wants revenge on whatever got him into his position as a Sinner. This is unlikely to be Catherine due to his last sin affinity.

Wrath - Wrath is about as obvious as Envy. Heathcliff was born in the backstreets and grew up there. His Wrath is his want to defy the rich and prove that even those born in the backstreets can be as good as them, similar to Rodion.

Lust - Lust once again, is obvious. In all honesty, base Heathcliff has pretty basic and obvious sin affinities. The reason that Heathcliff has a Lust sin affinity is due to his want to be with Catherine again.

N Corp. Kleinhammer Heathcliff

Envy - N Corp. Heathcliff’s version of Envy can be seen in two ways. First is the same as Base Heathcliff. He wants to get revenge on the rich for being a backstreets kid. The other is a sort of distorted want for revenge against those with prosthetics. This would fall in line with N Corps. Ideals, but this also falls in line with another N Corp. ID, N Corp. Faust. NFaust also has envy as one of her sins. N Corp. Faust seemingly has no reason to want revenge on anything, but she could want a form of retribution against those with prosthetics, making N Corp. Heathcliff have the same reasoning behind his Envy sin affinity.

Gloom - N Corp. Heathcliff’s Gloom sin affinity represents his past. This version of Heathcliff seems to be much more sad and depressed than most of Heathcliff’s IDs. This is due to both the events that led to his separation with Catherine and his current situation, that being his brainwashing at N Corps. hands. He actively fights against the brainwashing but is slowly failing, as seen through multiple of his voice lines and dialogue.

Lust - Lust for N Corp. Heathcliff would actually be the same as Base Heathcliff. It represents his want and desire to return to Catherine. He directly calls out to them on his Death and even mentions in his Extra Conditions dialogue, that if he keeps this up he will be able to go back one day, almost certainly meaning his want to be with Catherine again.

Shi Association South Section 5 Heathcliff

Lust - Shi Heathcliff is interesting as he shares all the same sin affinities as Base Heathcliff but reversed. Lust for Shi Heathcliff seems to represent his Lust for combat and death, similar to Ryoshu. He doesn't seem to have any desire to be with Catherine again, if this version of him ever met or was with them in the first place.

Wrath - Shi Heathcliff’s version of Wrath could represent that he doesn't really like how the Shi operate. He prefers getting personal with his kills and gets bored with the typical fast kills. He would rather do his own thing than actually be an assassin.

Envy - Shi Heathcliff still has a bit of his Revenge attributes in him. He mentions how he will make another Shi member pay for having slept through their alarm. This shows that this aspect of him still exists but to a much lesser degree than his other IDs. Its likely that Shi Heathcliff is still a backstreets kid but it isnt made clear if he wants the same revenge on the rich as his Base ID does.

R Corp. 4th Pack Rabbit Heathcliff

Wrath - Wrath is interesting for R Corp. Heathcliff, as it almost seems to be the opposite of him. He doesn't care about doing anything other than fight, which is exactly what he exists for as a R Corp. soldier. He likes what he does so its interesting that he has a sin that represents defiance.

Gluttony - Gluttony in context of R Corp. Heathcliff is similar to Lust for Shi Heathcliff. They both want more combat, they want to fight and kill more enemies. R Corp. Heathcliff is a soldier, his existence is combat, even more so due to him most likely being one of R Corps. Clone soldiers.

Envy - Envy is also interesting for R Corp. Heathcliff. Due to him most likely being a clone, he shouldn't have any reason to want revenge or retribution for anything done to him. He almost certainly doesn't want to be with Catherine and definitely doesn't even know who they are. He has everything he wants or cares about.

Its interesting that R Corp. Heathcliff has two sin affinities that seem to go against his existence. Maybe this is an example of our version of a sinner bleeding into a mirror worlds version, meaning that R Corp. Heathcliff’s version of Wrath and Envy are actually Base Heathcliff’s.

Addendum: 7/11/23 - Since originally writing this, R Corp. Meursault has been revealed, and through his trailer, a pseudo-confirmation that the R Corp. IDs are indeed clones…….which brings in so many other questions when it comes to them, but does make what i said about RHeathcliff, his sin affinities and him being a clone a bit more concrete……it makes it more confusing that he has these affinities since hes a clone and doesnt/shouldnt care about things the other Heath IDs do.

Lobotomy E.G.O::Sunshower Heathcliff

Envy - Envy for Sunshower Heathcliff represents his disdain for Technology. As a member of the Technology Liberation Alliance, he wishes to “liberate” all technology and return to a time before it. But he doesn't seem to truly care about this.

Gloom - Gloom is easy to understand for Sunshower Heathcliff. All of his friends have died in some way. He doesn't have anyone and is alone. He roamed the backstreets before joining the TLA and currently does. Its also possible that parts of his sadness are brought about by his E.G.O equipment, as he mentions having cold and dark feelings rush into him when he first put on the E.G.O equipment.

Sloth - Sloth is also easy. Sunshower Heathcliff mentions sleep and sleeping a lot. He is constantly thinking about falling asleep or finding some dark alleyway to stay in, away from everything and everyone else. He doesn’t truly care about anything other than sleeping, after the death of his friends.

#lcb #heathcliff lcb #lcb heathcliff #limbus company #project moon

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 5 months

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“autistic luna” this, “autistic luna” that, can we talk about how hermione was autistic coded pls?

I mean... yes? It's definitely something I've thought about but I haven't really talked about it because I'm aware of my habit of making headcanons that all of my favourite characters are autistic (Dano!Riddler, Robin from ST etc), but yes, I've definitely considered that Hermione is autistic-coded.

Let me just be clear from the beginning: Do I think that R*wling intentionally wrote Hermione as autistic or autistic-coded? Absolutely fucking not. That woman can't write autism for shit, as she's proven with her Strike books; she didn't write Newt as autistic intentionally, nor did she write Luna as autistic intentionally, and I'm not giving that nightmare the credit for any autistic-coded characters in her works because she doesn't deserve it.

With that out of the way, let me discuss autistic!hermione.

One of most obvious things we all know about Hermione is her love of studying; it very much seems that upon finding out she was a witch, she threw herself into that world and learned all that she could about it. By the time she was on the train to Hogwarts for her first year, she had literally read all of the assigned text books and even knew a few basic spells. This is in part due to the fact she wanted to fit in with the Wizarding World - it's implied that she didn't really have any muggle friends pre-Hogwarts, she was probably ostracised for being such a "know-it-all", and it's clear that she wanted to fit in at Hogwarts, to find a place where she belonged, hence why she threw herself into it (and also because of her love of learning of course). You can see that she was desperate not only to learn as much as possible but also to make friends; if she didn't care about being accepted and making friends, Ron's comment about "no wonder she hasn't got any friends" wouldn't have hurt her nearly as much.

While a love of studying certain topics and a desire to fit in aren't solely autistic traits, they are ones that autistic people do seem to experience, myself included. Speaking from experience, I want to fit in and make friends because I feel lonely, and I see that everyone else around me seems comfortable/to have found people they can be around and trust, and I wish I had that. I find friendships very difficult to build and maintain, because I don't know how to talk to people or how to get them to like me, and I feel deficient in that area. Again, that's probably an experience non-autistic people can relate to as well, but from what I can tell it seems to be very common among us.

Another reason I think Hermione could be autistic-coded is that she seems to display a lack of empathy for others at times; a prime example of this is when Lavender's rabbit, Binky, died. Lavender was - quite understandably - sobbing about it, especially given that Binky was only a baby and that he was killed by a fox. Instead of offering any kind of sympathy or empathy, Hermione instead lectured her (and everyone else) about how Trelawney wasn't actually a seer, analysing how Trelawney didn't predict the bunny's death - she was more interested in proving that Divination sucked because it was her worst subject, like she had to have some kind of win over Trelawney/Divination. And while I understand her logic, she was sort of right, choosing that very moment - when one of her dorm-mates was sobbing over her dead pet - was not the best time to voice it. There's also her utter disregard for Ron's feelings over "Scabbers"; she had this "he's never really cared that much about Scabbers anyway" "he's an old rat anyway" kind of mentality that just displayed no kind of attempt to understand his feelings. The fact that Hermione became a pet owner herself just a few months before all of this also goes to show her lack of empathy/sympathy, the fact that despite owning an animal now she still was unable to do the socially acceptable thing and show empathy/sympathy instead of logic. Hermione is certainly not emotionless by any means, but there are definitely times where she seems so absorbed by her own ideas and thoughts/feelings that she's oblivious to other people's.

Not all autistic people are like this, of course, and not all people who display a lack of empathy or sympathy are necessarily autistic, but it's another thing to consider. While I like to think of myself as being a bit too empathetic, there are many times where I've appeared selfish and too caught up in my own head/feelings to regard other people's feelings or how best to approach being there for them. It's not because I don't care for them, it's just that I'm so caught up in my own thoughts and how I'm feeling that I often don't think twice about how someone else must be doing - and I'd say it's the same for Hermione, because while she doesn't seem to feel particularly strongly either way about Lavender in PoA, we know she definitely cares for Ron because he's one of her best friends (and love interest but if anything it was probably more a crush than anything else in third year)

Some more things that I'm too exhausted to discuss properly because I'm suffering severe burnout right now:

Hermione is very blunt and to the point, she doesn't sugarcoat things or mince words at all

It's mentioned that she talks very fast, to the point where during their first interaction Harry's like "did she even breathe during that speech?!?!", which is usually what I do when I infodump on people because I want to get all of my words out before I'm interrupted or forget them

An extremely good memory, she remembers so much of what she reads in books; the only reason I don't think it's photographic is because she read about Flamel and then later didn't remember it immediately when the trio were searching for information on him until Harry found him mentioned on the back of Dumbledore's Chocolate Frog card.

It's worth mentioning that she panics in dangerous situations and seems to forget things; "oh we don't have any wood to build a fire", for example, and then Ron had to remind her that she's a witch and can literally just use magic - something you'd think she'd remember given that she not only set Snape on fire that year but also created flames to put in jars during the winter

Hermione seems to be brilliant at spells and magic that require precision, but then she struggles with spells/magic that require some creativity and imagination like the Patronus charm - she's a logical thinker and so struggles with emotional charms

This links to what I said above about a lack of sympathy/empathy and her struggle making friends, but she definitely lacks social awareness; she constantly butts into other people's conversations and business, speaks her mind abrasively, and critically

Hermione taking on way too many classes in PoA, struggling to keep on top of it all, and snapping at anyone who came near her; struggling to manage things is is commonly found among many of us with autism since we can often only handle a certain amount of sensory input before we get overwhelmed.

Her reluctance to even consider other people's views/beliefs, eg. Luna's belief in strange or bizarre sounding creatures. She may have technically been right, but she was rude to Luna about it and didn't even want to consider why someone may have an opposing view. Hermione is so set in what she believes in, and what she believes in is logic and hard evidence.

I also recently found out that Emma Watson was apparently diagnosed with combined/hyperactive type ADHD as a child; while autism and ADHD are two different things, sometimes there's an overlap and sometimes people have both, so it's not outside the realm of possibility that any autistic/neurodivergent traits in movie!Hermione are partly down to this.

I'd be interested to hear other people's thoughts and if people want to add onto this post because it's been a long time since I read the books properly, and its also 1:30am here so I'm going to bed to try and get a few hours sleep!

#hermione granger #autism #autistic #actually autistic #harry potter #emma watson

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wallflowrence · 1 year

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I am Manifesting the nahida and wanderer found family dynamic

THERE'S SO MUCH art of it it'd be sort of amusing if their relationship is reallt different in canon. though to be honest it would probably make more sense that way considering that (3.2 archon quest spoilers) [cont.]

part of nahida's character development is standing up for herself and not being tolerant to mistreatment. so considering the incidents scaramouche was involved in/his fight with buer (+ the traveller) - he even calls their battle a "re-enactment of the archon war" so ??? it would be a bit odd if (at least, immediately) they had that sort of dynamic

I do hope it develops into something more positive though . I think. nahida is a very benevolent god and she definitely pities scara. his upbringing has contributed to him having a very skewed sense of the world and self so I feel that in later parts of the story he'll end up developing his own identity and realising his past mistakes

ALSO I think it's interesting how scara has a track record of trying to determine his own identity/fate (naming himself kunikuzushi, joining the fatui, participating in the god creation project) when in reality he isn't at all. he's obsessed with becoming a god - even now he's attempting to realise Ei's ideals, despite the fact that it's been. so long???

dottore doesn't care about scaramouche. his involvement with the project was one that, in how i interpreted it, was just out of grand fun and curiosity. i remember it being said somewhere that he's not so much for the results of an experiment compared to the process --> he does things for the sake of doing them. conclusions r a 2nd priority

in childe's story quest (iirc) dottore was the one that opened and monitored the ruin guard factory and he just left it because he'd gotten bored. he declares himself a scholar at core, so of course he likes learning about things, but I dont think he's inherently fueled by a desire for knowledge... it's more of a secondary motivation but that's just what I am inferring based on what we know

I feel like this is the best way I can put it: dottore was the kid that put salt on slugs not really because he was curious in observing the reason for the reaction but because he enjoys seeing them suffer LMAO

if you don't know what happens when u put salt on slugs or snails basically they dry up and die. because osmosis !! funky. it's very painful for them If my memory serves right

even the akedemiya didn't care about who their god was so long as they felt it represented their ideals for humanity: scara was their optimum of human wisdom. and scaramouche KNOWS this; we even see the traveller confront him about it but he deflects after they ask him. perhaps he was just that desperate

I pulled these from a random YouTube video shh but anyways.

that's why he cares so much about haypasia !! because she recognises him. I saw a post on twitter or on here a while ago and I can't find it but some1 said something like "scara (in the current archon quest) feels like a child who never got much attention growing up and is just doing things to get his mother to notice him" and yeah I feel like it really does come off like that

Ei set him off and gave him the freedom to be his own person and go live as he wished but he's always been shackled to other people's expectations. he's never actually been his own person. I think a part of him *knows* that, but hasnt yet come to terms with it and moved on from his past . I think that's the next step he'll take

considering the fact that he's in nahida's possession at the moment I think she'll be a key figure to the development of his character. her as well as the traveller (big surprise !!!) Even if she doesn't see redemption in him I think she'll help him come to some realisations about himself

this is so messy srry

#scaramouche #wanderer #genshin impact #nahida #his character is so interestinf #IM SO SURE that's the direction his character will take he gets an anemo vision afterall #kunikuzushi #character study #not really but . just some thoughts

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stregoniconiconii · 1 year

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lowkey, in steddie fic where rnance is a side pairing it sometimes feels like it's done to in some way do away with both Robin and nancy. like with Nancy it's the whole "pair the canon love interest with someone else so they don't get in the way of the ship" thing but gay, and with robin it sometimes feels like it's done to make her less of a presence in Steve's life to like make more room for eddie(or whoever) and Steve's reaction is almost like it Has to be positive to not put a strain on their friendship bc that's not what they want the story to be about.

and sometimes there's even the vibe of like steve has to cheer robin on to not be in the wrong, but robin gets put in the wrong bc she gets too involved with nancy, leaving steve sad, eddie comes in to rescue steve from being Alone, and after steddie get together robin comes back and apologises for being too into her girlfriend, and then everything is swell! idk there's just vibes sometimes that the motivation for rnance as a side ship is doing every character involved a disservice.

but like i get that sometimes u have a ship that u can't imagine not being together, so they are together in every story u write, even if for the sake of the story u want to tell, maybe they shouldn't be.

hmm yeah I see what you mean, I dont think it's necessarily like what ppl are thinking when they write these side plots it's just one of those things where you spend like three or whatever chapters Just writing about steddie and then ur like wait what were the other characters doing? okay they were off kissing too. tbh most of the time it gets revealed that robin has been hanging out with Nancy in steddie fics after Steve and Eddie just went through some sort of conflict so I think writers tend to want to have a bit of an emotional break like we Just went through some relationship angst/change but dw there's no angst about ur ex and best friend dating! lol and then robin provides some emotional insight to Steve about Eddie and then everyone kisses and is happy like ive come to expect that if Steve and Robin are fighting for any reason once they make up the romantic relationship will go through some sort of change too I mean it's classic romcom but yeah I do agree that robin dating someone is often done to get Steve and Eddie alone sort of in the same way the younger teens are there but not really there you know like steve's hosting them all the time and it feels like he's barely ever talking to them lol like the amount of times ive read about Steve and robin going to a gay club and then they almost immediately separate is a little funny to me. I think they would be nervous little wallflowers the first time they go to a gay club but that's just me

anyway yeah I think this does go back to ppl just not wanting to deal with stancy lmao like I get it I dont ship it either but I think waving away their flirting/potential romance rekindling as just some weird thing that didn't really happen lol justtt doesn't do either of them a favour. I know Steve was definitely having a manic episode in those last few episodes but still.

this is something I can only really say about r/nance in steddie fic tho bc I am not reading r/nance....zero desire <3 then again I dont think ive actually read a steddie fic in a minute I kinda hate Eddie at the moment in a bit of an older sibling hating the new baby kind of way rn. like wdym we're not giving him back to the hospital lmao

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steelycunt · 2 years

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ridi hi ! yr like one of my biggest writing inspirations and im going to try writing r/s so i wanted to ask for a bit of advice (if you don't mind!!) how did you first sort of insert yourself into the fandom? ive never really written hp before and kinda don't know where to start (without feeling like some sort of imposter lol) thought id get yr opinion hope you don't feel pressured to answer tho <3

hi hi !! ahh fhdsfjds thats so lovely thank you so much!! thank u for this q, ill put my thoughts under the cut hope thats okay mwah <33

i was writing on ao3 for a fair bit of time b4 i was made this blog on here to post about my writing (i dont know if most people went in that order?? maybe??) but once i was on here i just found authors whose stuff i enjoyed on ao3 and who had mentioned they had a tumblr. i found honestly just interacting with people + their work n stuff was the easiest way to make friends!! n just messaging those people even though it was a bit terrifying. at the same time, though, when talking about hp specifically i think u've gotta keep in mind that its a massive space and also largely a cesspit lol...for that reason ive had no desire to get too involved in most of it aside from circles of people i know n trust and i would say, especially on the topic of interacting with people: be extra careful when you're following people, and also screen ur followers as best you can for terf shit and projkr shit and all of that.

as for the writing side! its way, way less daunting if you're just writing what you want honestly. i wrote things because there was stuff i wanted to read, and now i do it because i enjoy writing! and i think having any other motivation for doing it except that will result in it becoming a bit of a draining and joyless activity pretty quickly. don't worry about canon (esp when the source material is as shite and lazy as hp canon is anyway), don't worry about adhering to popular headcanons if they don't interest you...the imposter thing is tricky but also very very common and probably nearly everyone doing something creative + sharing it will feel like that to some extent? and if everyone feels like an imposter sometimes then i'd argue that nobody can really, genuinely be one, so don't worry abt it too much (again, writing for yourself rather than any other motivation will probably help with that a bit). and have fun writing babe that is really at the end of the day all there is to it like if ur enjoying urself then whatever u write will b brilliant n worth ur time <33 good luck !!

#i think the first person i EVER messaged on here was liv <3 i was so scared i was psyching myself up for ages to compose that message <3 #i was like what if this is the weirdest creepiest thing anyones ever done. what if i DIE #what if ive accidentally typed fuck you without realising. what if???#hiii liv if u see this hi babs <333 #again i dont know ive really inserted myself into the fandom that much or if i even want to do that but i really think just in terms of #posting on HERE? just having some mutuals u love n trust literally that is all u need. and posting on ao3? just write what u want and share #however much of it you want!! ao3 is not a social media n its scary to think of it as posting stuff into the void but its a lot LESS scary #if you just think of it as a place where you're putting your works. like a portfolio like a document folder.#it is just a place for them to be kept <3 like a bookshelf!#telegram #anon

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nyruratchet · 1 year

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The Edge of No Tomorrow

I’m struggling. I don’t get this world I’m in and feel like I’m living someone else’s story. People I love are passing away left and right; leaving me here feeling more alone day by day. I’m working at a company that doesn’t care about it employees. Shocker, a capitalistic US company that cares more about profit that the life of their workers.

I honestly don’t want to be here anymore. Everytime I get home, I get comforted initially at being away from people and lessening my anxiety. But once the loneliness sets in, I’m on the verge of tears. Why can’t I find someone to love. Why does every guy I express interest in, run for the hills. Clingy? No. Shallow? No. Walled up. Sort of, but I have no trouble letting someone in. I just don’t get it.

Then to top that lonely boy sundae off, I have…well HAD a “friend” throw me a way like trash. Like I wasn’t even worth his time. Actually, there is no ‘like’ involved. He literally said he’s not invested in a friendship with me and has no time for the fuckery. But when asked to explain or have a conversation about whatever brought him to this conclusion, N just dismissed me and said we can be “cordial” when we have to be in each other’s presence. I’m sorry, but when someone disrespects me, I’m not being cordial. I remove myself from the situation completely. And that’s where my mind keeps going. I need to remove myself from everything completely. I WANT to remove myself. I don’t really care about tomorrow anymore. In fact, the prospect of having to go through one more tomorrow feeling like this is nightmare; what on earth is there to look forward to? The struggle to make ends meet? The struggle to do music like I love? The struggle to find fulfillment in the mundane wretched existence I’m currently in? Doesn’t make sense.

My dear friend who’s in prison can even find something the brighten to prospects of each of his days. But I can’t. I’ve been thrown away so many times and discarded, it is hard for me to imagine anyone missing me when I’m gone. And if there is someone, they wont miss me very long. My Grammy would. My mommy, daddy and court court will. But besides them, I’m not important to anyone. In fact, the only 2 reasons I’m even still alive is because it would break my Grammy’s heart and cuz I haven’t found the perfect way for me to do it yet. I need it painless and quick. In my sleep would be great.

Would you miss me? I don’t really know who I’m asking because I know no one will read this unless I post and share on social media like I’m pushing drugs. I don’t even know why I bother putting anything out there. I do music and a music video, a handful of friends support and buy them. Seriously, I could count the sales on one hand. Streaming? HAH, that’s all money as well. Gotta put money in to get anything out. I been trying for years to just get a foot in the door. I use to make CDs and cassette tapes to send to A&R at record labels. "That’s not the way it’s done anymore.” I would hear them say. Or, “development deals aren’t a thing anymore.” Well FUCK ME then.

That brings me to the other issue: fucking. Sex is my drug. Not proud of it but also, there could be worse addictions. I mean, there could be better ones too. This one requires me to be dependent on the acceptance of someone else; the desire of someone else; the mind of someone else. So if I can find someone to fuck or fuck me, great. But come on, there’s no consistency there. So, many times I find myself in a dry spell, needing my drug with no fix in sight. No how pathetic is it for an addict to not even be able to FIND his drug of choice. I’m not saying pay for it, FIND it. Cuz this drug is free, for those who can find/get it. But as I have already stated, guys don’t like me. And if they do, they have a hurtful way of expressing that attraction/affection. It has gotten to the point where I can’t even look at a cute guy without wanting to cry. Because when he looks at me me, I know he doesn’t see a desirable being. And when I do find someone who has feelings for me, they are taken already. So, can those feelings even be trusted? Nope. They already told someone else the same things they’re telling me. I’m just some new catch. Someone to make them feel like they still got “IT” (whatever ‘it’ is”). Recently, there was a guy I connected with on Grindr. He was so interested in me, and he was beautiful. I just KNEW he was fake. But he gave me his number. Then came the cat and mouse chase. He was never available. Then a couple weeks went buy and he was “in a relationship”. Yeah, he had no time for ME. I was brokenhearted. So again, I figured, he was just faking and wanted attention. Well, a year went by. I walk to up to work, and there he is. I knew exactly when I saw his face. Long story short, he told me he was still in a relationship but had no issue fooling around with me in a bathroom before dropping me off to my hotel like a cheap peace of ass. Then after saying all the right things, I get a text the next day. ‘Yeah, we can’t hang like I said. I feel bad for what I did. Sorry for leading you on…’ blah blah blah. Fell for it. And the sad part is, I’d do it again. No guys who look like that, are successful like that, or say things like that have ever thought I was in their league. So, to know he was a real person and he actually was interested in me a year ago; but GOD hated me so much he sent him another boy right before I could meet him, broke my heart and spirit even more. He could have been the love of my life. And just like that, fate said I wasn’t allowed it. I wasn’t worthy of it and apparently am still not.

I just keep trying to make SENSE of my existence and I can't do it. Could I continue going on this lonely path for years holding on to the notion that my time is coming? NO. I won't make it. I have wanted to be in love since I was little. I have wanted a singing career since I was little. Who's life am I living? I DID THE WORK. Went to college; went on auditions; did the residency training; moved to New York; worked multiple jobs to keep a roof over my head...I just, don't know what I did wrong. At least, not one major thing I did. I have tons of regrets in hindsight, but who hasn't made mistakes right?

I should just end it here. But I type all of this to say that I see not future for me. I'm standing at the edge of no tomorrow.

#feelings #mental health

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kangjaehee · 2 years

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jaehee playlist musical analysis

hi today i decided to explain every song in this jaehee character playlist because it was Very Carefully Curated and every single song REALLY means something and bc i just want to.

I made this playlist entirely 100% based on the lyrics and message of the songs more than Anything else. The arrangement doesn't make musical sense, but it's all in the words. I didn't pick songs I believe she'd listen to or songs based on Vibe. Actually idk how many of them here fit this criteria. But think of the entire playlist as like... a jukebox musical of her character arc in an indie pop & co. soundtrack.

It’s long. There’s 46 songs. Here we go.

TRACK 01: ABBEY - MITSKI.

Okay so this is her in a song I think. It summarizes most of the Original Struggle, and because it is so general I figured it'd be a perfect opening track.

I am hungry / I have been hungry / I was born hungry / What do I need? - She's missing something and doesn't know what it is. She’s constantly expressing dissatisfaction with her life, says she wants more without really saying it, “I’m afraid I won’t be able to advance forward.”

There is a dream that I sometimes see / That only appears in the dark of sleep - Wants more but refuses to acknowledge it. The dream only shows up when she's truly alone with herself.

This is repeated and deepened all throughout the song, even acknowledging her desire to be "set free" at the end.

TRACK 02: MIRRORBALL - TAYLOR SWIFT.

"I will be whatever you want me and need me to be to make myself useful" but told very romantically. I do still headcanon that, in the past, she might've taken a more literal version of the attitude described in the song.

I've never been a natural / All I do is try, try, try / I'm still on that trapeze / I'm still trying everything / To keep you looking at me - a forced hand, there's an intent to belong or to get a reaction. Now apply this, instead of relationships, to the world of career.

TRACK 03: STAY SOFT - MITSKI.

Another song that dives more into the past. Talks about bottling up one's emotions, the hardening of one's heart for survival purposes. Drowning out anger, or fear, or sadness. Going into deep meta territory, perhaps even being willing to carry other people's strong emotions, but never yours. In many ways, I think this song describes how she dealt with grief. A sort of misplaced anger turned to numbness.

Fury, pure and silver / You grip it tight inside / Like a knife / It glints in your eye - She says in an opportunity that she resented her parents, held this anger at them... for dying. Of course, she was young then, so this was born out of immaturity and out of wanting to blame someone for her resentment at her situation, I would guess. She's more mad at destiny, at the world for this having been the deck of cards she's been dealt. At least, that's how I see it.

Open up your heart / Like the gates of hell - so, this association. Seeing the opening up of oneself and reveal of feelings as a sort of sacrifice for Reasons. I won't go deep into this now, there's other songs that touch it.

You stay soft, get beaten / Only natural to harden up - the ONLY way u can get shit done in the world is if you minimize your feelings and not let yourself drown in them. A conclusion she naturally came to. Somehow, she managed an almost healthy looking unemotionality. I think this aspect of her character is very up for debate. Whether she's made peace with her past, or if the undercurrent of anxiety driving her every turn reveals otherwise.

TRACK 04: THIS IS HOME - CAVETOWN.

Ah so this is the stockholm syndrome song. But not really stockholm syndrome-- more like being caged in a situation you know is bad for you (the c&r job), but not wanting to leave because you fear what would happen if you do, so you instead try to love it. That's how I interpret it in this context. Almost every lyric here points to something specific in her story, so here we go:

Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love but I guess / This avoids the stress of falling out of it - "Love interferes with my career but honestly I've had so many issues with it that I don't really mind giving it up."

Are you tired of me yet? / I'm a little sick right now but I swear / When I'm ready I will fly us out of here - There's like this anxiety she feels about her personality, whatever she has to bring that isn't directly related to being tangibly useful to a person. No confidence in her charm. basically.

I'll cut my hair / To make you stare / I'll hide my chest - considering the context this would be more like "i'll cut my hair to not make you stare." Sort of an okay I'll do what you ask me to... "Chest" here in this context I think of it as heart. I'll hide what I feel.

Time is / Slowly / Tracing his face / But strangely he feels at home in this place - This is the acceptance of situation. Stress and sacrifice are becoming visible in her appearance, but this situation, however awful, is beginning to feel like a home to her.

TRACK 05: 6/10 - DODIE

Okay so anxiety and insecurity part 200!!! Coming back to the insecurity about her personality, that she has nothing to offer in a friendship context to a new person, feels like nothing makes her interesting or remarkable.

Can you see the panic inside? / I'm making you uneasy, aren't I? - We see this a lot especially in the beginning stages of the game, her almost being too careful with the mc, not wanting to cause discomfort. It's almost like she's waiting for you to allow her to be.

Is there pity for the plain girl? - Plainness here is of personality. It has a "sorry for being myself" feeling to it.

TRACK 06: 4AM - GIRL IN RED.

I Don't like her, but hey if the song fits... anyway this is THE undercurrent of anxiety, having too many doubts about your own performance, having to face the world but not feeling internally ready to.

TRACK 07: TEEN IDLE - MARINA

Anyway sooo back to the past! Or my interpretation of it! This one, When, Stay soft, and mirrorball are kind of all my meta take on who she was. Teen idle is saying "damn I wish I actually lived through my teenage years, or my whole youth, for that matter." I definitely believe this was a little bit of who she was, and that she Would have listened to this at 15.

I wanna drink until I ache / I wanna make a big mistake / I want blood, guts, and angel cake - wanting to break from her front of perfection and model student behavior to know what it feels like.

TRACK 08: WHEN - LIVE - DODIE

Our next stop in this journey to the past: whatever the fuck went on in her relationships. Also known as the comphet song. A nostalgia for who she used to be, but also regret for how it's shaped her. She wants to be in love, but can't get satisfaction from it, and is afraid of running out of time, of missing her chances. Misdirection.

I think I've been telling lies / 'Cause I've never been in love / Everyone falls for the sunshine disguise / Distracted by who they're thinking of - No, she hasn't even been in love, we get as much from... everything she does in her route when it comes to her relationship with MC, starting by not being able to recognize what she feels.

I'll take what I can get / 'Cause I'm too damp for a spark / Kissing sickly sweet guys / 'Cause they say they like my eyes / But I'd only ever see them in the dark - Flings for the sake of flings. Getting with people because she wants the feeling, but can't somehow get it, does it more for them than for herself. Again, comphet song...

I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love / Oh, it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when - Afraid that life will pass her by if she doesn't hurry up and live, afraid of not having the experiences she dreams of having.

TRACK 09: THE MAN - TAYLOR SWIFT.

The first song here that truly deals with her feelings when it comes to her job, and mostly people not taking her seriously because she's a woman. The entire justification for this being here is in that one moment where she's assigned as the leader of that coffee project and no one in the team is giving her the due respect.

TRACK 10: REAL MEN - MITSKI.

This one's also related to her job, but mostly about how she's forced to hide her feelings to be able to do anything, reinforcing a long-standing behavior. The constant clash she seems to have with Jumin of him trying to be 100% logical and her trying to get him to accept that people have Feelings and sometimes those Interfere, because maybe she's learned that the hard way.

Real men don't need other people / And real men suck it in / Real men don't flinch or bleed in public / Oh, I think I'm a real man - Superego message of you shouldn't show your feelings, it's not right or proper, you shouldn't have needs. Be completely self sufficient.

TRACK 11: FEELINGS ARE FATAL - MXMTOON.

This one's very self explanatory and goes with the other one. Hiding struggle behind a facade, and not trusting anyone to actually reveal what's under, but at the same time almost being afraid of what would happen then. That is, kind of, how she approaches opening up to MC.

TRACK 12: A BURNING HILL - MITSKI.

A lot of this playlist is mitski. There are a lot more songs. Anyway, this is disillusionment. Acceptance of her situation, back to what This Is Home is trying to say but with much more substance. She's tired, and she's numb.

And I'll go to work and I'll go to sleep / And I'll love the littler things / I'll love some littler things - Hopeless acceptance, focusing on the small because the large is already screwed and she doesn't know how to un-screw it.

TRACK 13: BEST FRIEND - REX ORANGE COUNTY.

This is the start of what I call the romance arc of the playlist... the moment in the story when she begins to go oh god oh fuck i'm having Wierd Feelings. This song could go two ways-- her POV in the "i want to be your favorite person in the planet and idk how to be anything else so let's be friends," and the MC's in the "I want you as more than a friend but we're still fine as long as we're close but just know that's not where my heart lies." But since this is a Jaehee playlist, not a mcjaehee playlist...

TRACK 14: COFFEE - BEABADOOBEE.

The love is stored in the homemade latte. I feel like acts of service is somewhere high up there in her love languages list - I will love you, I will care for you, I will make you coffee just how you like it. You're my safe place. I feel like this captures the vibes of the kinda relationship that happens in her route really well.

TRACK 15: I WANT YOU - MISTKI.

"I want you but I can't say it and/or don't know how to", that's what this song is trying to say in this context. All of the unsaid is beginning to suffocate. And listen, I'm not a reset theory enthusiast... but you can really let your imagination fly in that context with this one.

I want you / I hold one card / That I can't use / But I want you - There could be many reasons as to why she can't use the card, but the general message is an "I can't say it" type beat.

'Cause I just need a quiet place / Where I can scream / How I love you - "I need to find a way to let out these feelings that I can't, for some reason, allow myself to let out."

TRACK 16: D-1 - LOONA.

This one kinda follows everything the last few ones have set up, but it's more like... her watching her feelings change as she talks more and more with MC. A lot of the lyrics here remind me of stuff she said in calls. Also, this really fits in the "we exist in different dimensions/universes" theory of mysme...

How you like me now? - "I think I'm getting greedy now. I want you to like me more."

For now I’ll take just one step closer, closely slowly - "I'll approach very slowly... I am very patient" idk what she says here actually i can't remember haven't played this game in months.

TRACK 17: FALLINGFORYOU - THE 1975.

Very self explanatory, I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your neck, but also the vibe here is you're talking with someone in the middle of the night and realizing there's maybe more. Her calls in the later days of the route, all the more revealing ones happen late into the night.

TRACK 18: COME INTO THE WATER - MITSKI.

I think this accurately describes how she approaches love - with caution, with patience, once again almost waiting for a confirmation, please like me too.

Are you waiting to touch me? / You look so good, but I keep my hands / 'Til you come into the water - I want you, but I'm waiting for you to show me you want me too. Almost a not wanting to make a mistake here.

But would you tell me if you want me? / 'Cause I can't move until you show me - "show me how to love you. show me the way. i'm new to this."

I didn't know I had a dream / I didn't know until I saw you - cheesy ass line I know but basically... mc did show her the way to her dreams somewhat so like...

TRACK 19: HEAVEN - TROYE SIVAN.

So the overlap between faith, institutionalized religion, and how that clashes with the self. She clearly operates under a crap ton of internalized homophobia. And no, I don't think most of it is due to religion, I think most of it is knowing she'll be rejected by the world around her, but knowing Catholicism... I'm sure at least some of it is.

TRACK 20: SHAME - MITSKI.

Follows along the same path of the last one. There's guilt surrounding desires. Also this could be like... a secret relationship "no one knows but us" type beat, which I think is a narrative Cheritz tries to push.

TRACK 21: CLASS OF 2013 - MITSKI.

So... grief, that's all. "I wish my life was easier I wish I sometimes didn't have to fight so hard I wish I didn't have to grow up so quickly and could still dream." Segway from this last arc and into the new one.

TRACK 22: SHE USED TO BE MINE - JESSIE MUELLER (WAITRESS MUSICAL).

Ah so this is another of the main songs.... a LOT of her story is mirrored here. Mainly the "I lost myself along the way and now I don't know how to be happy." This is that scene when Zen gives her the present.

It's not simple to say / Most days I don't recognize me - Considering she had to quite literally change her appearance to be where she's at, this is likely. also, "I don't know who I am."

She is hard on herself / She is broken and won't ask for help / She is messy but she's kind / She is lonely most of the time - I'm not sure if messy, but everything else here checks out. She doesn't allow herself to ask for help, she pushes through, surrenders to loneliness, pushes herself to the highest of standards, it's all or nothing.

She is gone but she used to be mine - She's not who she used to be. She's lost herself somewhere along this path.

It's not what I asked for / Sometimes life just slips in through a back door / And carves out a person / And makes you believe it's all true / And now I've got you / And you're not what I asked for - The person in question could be her or Jumin-- in a call she opens up about how the qualities associated with her at the office are not the values her parents taught her.

Who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised / And gets used by a man who can't love - More like woman who can't love, we could talk about her aunt here... she's been hurt by many, both intentionally and unintentionally.

And then she'll get stuck and be scared / Of the life that's inside her / Growing stronger each day / 'Til it finally reminds her / To fight just a little / To bring back the fire in her eyes / That's been gone but it used to be mine - She feels that dissatisfaction growing, every day more and more impossible to ignore, reminding her of that desire she used to have, until it finally comes back.

This song is kind of a pivotal moment, the catapult into the next arc of the playlist where she fights to get her life back. This is day 9 onwards.

TRACK 23: 9 TO 5 - DOLLY PARTON.

So there were other moments in the playlist that described her career situation to a certain degree, but this next little section does so with more clarity. Starting with this one: a little fun pop break about the frustrations of the workforce, sacrificing yourself daily while aching for more.

TRACK 24: ARE YOU SATISFIED? - MARINA.

Okay so this one takes what the last one just said and goes okay so that's the reality... now are you happy with that? Like honestly?

I was pulling out my hair / The day I got the deal, chemically calm / Was I meant to feel happy that my life / Was just about to change? - I imagine her learning she got the job at c&r, and knowing she's finally made it, feeling actually the opposite of ecstatic, relieved of a pressure. An "okay. we made it. that was tough but we're here now."

Are you satisfied with an average life? / Do I need to lie to make my way in life? - This is doubt starting to come in. The "is this truly what you want?

High achiever, don't you see? / Baby, nothing comes for free / They say I'm a control freak / Driven by a greed to succeed / Nobody can stop me - I feel like this is the image she shows the world, who people thinks she is: capable, cutthroat, on top of her shit. Which is true on a certain level, except that she doesn't have any real ambition other than like... making it thru the day and feels stuck in her current position.

TRACK 25: WORKING FOR THE KNIFE - MITSKI.

Goes on with what the last song said, now exposing the true reality of her situation, how she really feels about it - we're working from the knife, something that can be threatening, deadly. This job, however shiny, is killing her slowly, and she's beginning to realize that.

I always thought the choice was mine / And I was right, but I just chose wrong / I start the day lying and end with the truth / That I'm dying for the knife - idk yall but I imagine young fresh out of high school jaehee extremely motivated about the direction her life seems to be taking, with everything she wants within reach. Yes, the choice was hers and yes, she chose wrong. Now, how do you move on from that?

TRACK 26: DRUNK WALK HOME - MITSKI.

There's almost a giving up here. Pure hatred for the system. This is a vent.

For I'm starting to learn I may never be free / But though I may never be free / Fuck you and your money / I'm tired of your money - She knows this system is inescapable, this is her life, she'll be in this forever, yet hates it. The "fuck you and your money" specifically I relate back to every single moment she complained at Jumin's financial compensation as "forgiveness" for making her do hefty extra work.

TRACK 27: MONEY, MONEY, MONEY - ABBA.

I Hate Capitalism song number 200. Yeah this is just an ugh I can't believe the world is like this because of greedy rich men who exploit people's skills for their personal gain song.

TRACK 28: I AM NOT A ROBOT - MARINA.

FUCK Real Men I Can't Ignore My Feeling Anymore Unless I Wanna D Word Inside. This song is the MC and Zen @ her, but also her @ her, her @ jumin.

It's okay to say you've got a weak spot / You don't always have to be on top / Better to be hated / Than loved loved loved for what your not - her accepting that these feeling of inadequacy and dissatisfaction, that's she's not actually a machine, are actually okay in the end.

You're lovable, so lovable / But you're just troubled - She's worthy of love and happiness. Yes, nothing around her is perfect, but it can and will be better.

TRACK 29: I WANT TO BREAK FREE - QUEEN.

This song is purely declaratory, the moment where she goes "You know what? I don't want this anymore. I'm going my own way."

I want to break free from your lies / You're so self-satisfied I don't need you - yaassss girlie give jumin a piece of his mind

I've fallen in love / I've fallen in love for the first time / This time I know it's for real / I've fallen in love, yeah - She has, quite literally. This time it is for real.

TRACK 30: LIVE YOUR LIFE - YUNA.

This is her finally acknowledging her own dreams, committing to living for herself.

All my life / My dreams just seem so far away / And now it's like / They're here to stay / I hold it close to me - the moment she decides she likes the reignites passion and doesn't want to let it go for anything.

TRACK 31: READY NOW - DODIE.

Kinda takes us back thru the whole journey to how far she's got. She's ready now. Pretty much the ENTIRE song describes her relationship with mc.

You saw through me / All this time / I'd forgotten / People are kind - Many times she muses about how MC is one of the few people she's met that have been this kind to her, how she understood her and defended her.

You said, "I will listen / Tell it all / When you're finished / We'll talk more" / But I didn't know how / So we took it in turns / And to my surprise / We found my words - With time, Jaehee managed to trust her, even to tell her story to her, revealing things she's carried for a long time.

Something new / Something strange / Ten feet taller / I had changed / I believe you / I'm not wrong / Oh, it suits me / To feel strong - oh don't you love character development. With this newfound dream, comes newfound strength and self confidence.

You said, "I will listen / Tell me it all / You don't like the ending / Then we'll find one that's yours" - Reset theory enthusiasts! This one's for you.

Together, we sang / "I'm ready, now" - One thing about her, there was no way, partner or solo, that she was walking this path alone.

TRACK 32: MY SEA - IU.

This journey she went through, in a way, was sort of an inner child recollection healing type thing. She tells MC she's "broken down her walls and returned her to her childhood." Considering everything that happened since then. it's a big statement to make.

Did that child suffer in pain for such a long time… / …to just become me? / We get further as another day piles up / I don’t think we can ever reconcile / I don’t think it’ll get better - This brings back the themes of She Used to be Mine, the losing oneself, not thinking you'll get that back.

When I was a child / There was a sea that never dried up in my heart / That place is only left with faint traces - You could compare the sea to the drems of her childhood that faded with time and hardship.

I’m free even when I’m swept away and get lost / I won’t close my eyes at the darkness / that traps me anymore / I won’t pretend not to know myself again - After a journey, she finds that passion again, that self which used to be hers.

TRACK 33: PLUTO - SLEEPING AT LAST.

Okay so this is a summary of The Whole Journey, from the perspective of the undercurrent of anxiety that's been driving her through this wrong path - she chose to keep through it out of a now knowing what would happen if she took a turn away from it.

Until one day I had enough / Of this exercise of trust / I leaned in and let it hurt / And let my body feel the dirt - She simply got tired of the bullshit... among other things.

Still I'm pinned under the weight / Of what I believed would keep me safe / Show me where my armor ends / Show me where my skin begins - Well, she was pinned under the weight of a system she believed would keep her safe - however safe it was, it was equal parts suffocating. The last phrase, "show me where my armor ends," could also relate to her emotional openness (or lack thereof).

Like a final puzzle piece / It all makes perfect sense to me / The heaviness that I hold in my heart belongs to gravity - oh I am human and I am alive and I can do something with all this!!! how nice.

TRACK 34: DOG DAYS ARE OVER - FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE.

Freedom, baby! That's this song. This is day 10, the moment where she takes the leap and lands on the net.

Happiness hit her like a train on a track / Coming towards her stuck still no turning back - This whole ordeal came at her unexpectedly, almost like a crash, though at the most critical moment.

The dog days are over / The dog days are done / Can you hear the horses? / 'Cause here they come - The world better get ready for Kang Jaehee, because she's coming with everything, she's waited a long time for this moment.

TRACK 35: THAT'S MY GIRL - FIFTH HARMONY.

This is like the least deep song here it's a celebration ass shaking song. Everyone's reaction @ her finally Doing It. She worked her ass off for this goddammit.

TRACK 36: SIX - SLEEPING AT LAST.

Ah the enneagram song :). This is the one that best describes the undercurrent of anxiety, her driving force, that will undoubtedly be accompanying her now as well, but now that vigilance will be her ally instead of her enemy: her caution is what will ensure that there's no blocks in the road ahead.

TRACK 37: SHE - JEN FOSTER.

...And we enter the last arc of the playlist! The "I'll finally accept I'm in love and do Something about these feelings" arc, which... we don't see in the story, at least not explicitly... anyways this is a love song. about a girl. that's it really.

TRACK 38: EYES LOCKED, HANDS LOCKED - RED VELVET.

This is the moment at the party: With eyes and hands locked, she makes her proposal to MC. A masked confession. A promise for something longer, larger than what they have officially.

TRACK 39: GIRLS - GIRL IN RED.

Here's where we stray from the canon bc I'm sure this moment happened: the I'm a LESBIAN i am GAY i like GIRLS i am a GIRL who likes GIRLS. acceptance of sexuality. You know the drill. After everything she's been through... it was about time.

TRACK 40: FINALLY // BEAUTIFUL STRANGER - HALSEY

The falling in love for the first time, the finally feeling safe enough to open your heart to another person and reap the rewards that come with that.

The truth is this / That I've never seen a mouth that I would kill to kiss / And I'm terrified, but I can't resist – Falling in love can be terrifying, and I’d guess by her avoidance of the fact that she is, at least a little.

Beautiful stranger, here you are in my arms / But I think it's finally, finally, finally, finally, finally safe / For me to fall – what i said earlier lmao.

TRACK 41: THE ONLY EXCEPTION - PARAMORE

Builds upon the other song and establishes it, somewhat explaining the reasons why she was so reluctant to love in the first place.

Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul / That love never lasts / And we've got to find other ways to make it alone / Or keep a straight face – “Relationships are temporary fantasies fabricated by emotions.” There could be a million reasons for her to believe that, from bad past experiences to an adopted belief to rid herself of the pressure of relationships bc lesbianism. Regardless, it’s there.

And I've always lived like this / Keeping a comfortable distance / And up until now I had sworn to myself / That I'm content with loneliness / Because none of it was ever worth the risk / But you are the only exception – In the end, she sees relationships as a risk and suffers for it. She mentions many times that she still has a desire to be considered as special and irreplaceable by someone, perhaps because she considers herself as ordinary and discardable. And she’s made herself comfortable with this self-imposed, survival-inspired loneliness, until MC came in.

I've got a tight grip on reality / But I can't let go of what's in front of me here – Romance thrives on fantasy, practicality obstaculizes it. Pisces is the exaltation of Venus and Virgo it’s fall for a reason. Love kind of inspires you to be a little delusional.

TRACK 42: COFFEE BREATH - SOFIA MILLS.

omg its The Song i put The Song. Nothing lyrical here for once pure vibes of waking up in a bed together and making coffee. honestly never even paid attention to what this one tries to say.

TRACK 43: I WILL - MITSKI.

u guys she’s a virgo moon… love as acts of service, love as the act of being taken care of, or taking care of somebody. Honestly I feel she could do either. But I do feel this is her ideal form of emotional connection.

Everything you feel is good / If you would only let you – this could fr just be Me Projecting lo, but regardless I get the vibe that many times she wants to be validated in her feelings, or in her act of feeling.

I will see your body bare / And still I will live here – again a vibe i get lol from the all-encompassing connection she says she wants with mc, of revealing every single part of herself to her and still be embraced. a “hello, this is me, these are my many many wounds.” have a place to be able to do that.

And all the quiet nights you bear / Seal them up with care / No one needs to know they're there / For I will hold them for you – “can I cope with my trauma by sharing this with you and not bottling anything up anymore because I’m suffocating under the pressure of my own dirt.”

TRACK 44: DAYLIGHT - TAYLOR SWIFT.

This is more headcanon-y and very literal. From messy romantic past to now peace that comes from self-knowledge and self-acceptance. Finally loving someone like you’re supposed to. You could call this a moment of lesbian joy.

TRACK 45: DRESS - TAYLOR SWIFT.

babes all in all I think cheritz writes this as a secret relationship and they’re not even chill about that insinuation. It’s super blatant. Every single romantically charged mcjaehee moment happens either subtextually (literally hidden by code) or while they’re literally hidden by some type of cover. That one folder where they’re almost kissing under a sheet. The valentine’s day dlc where they're trapped in a literal closet. And does anyone remember that one halloween choose your own story event where she and mc ended up sharing a ghost costume and it was all special? Yeah. Also, I don’t want you like a best friend.

TRACK 46: ANIMAL - TROYE SIVAN.

I had to somehow end this cohesively and I chose… sex lol. well, insinuated it. It’s not just about letting desire fly free, it’s about the grace of time, about trust. All in all, I think the relationship expressed in her route is one summarized by this concept: I trust you enough to reveal myself to you, and I want you to reveal myself to me. Love as the tearing down of walls, you love somebody by letting them know you.

Alright that’s it!! If anyone actually read everything then let me say I love you lol.

#mystic messenger #mm #jaehee kang #kang jaehee #mm jaehee #mysme jaehee #my stuff #this is random but hey

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onewomancitadel · 2 years

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Thats fair. It's understandable considering I'm no longer invested in the ending since I dropped the show, but it's not entirely a product of not caring about the ending. There are other shows that I love like One Piece for example where I'm immensely invested but also I'm not really concerned with the ending. Though maybe thats because One Piece emphasizes Journey > Destination due to primarily being about Adventure. Regardless I always appreciate your perspective. Thank you. -EmperorLuffy

I'm more certain of Cinder not dying, and even more certain of her redemption than ever before. I was reviewing KM Weiland's Book "Creating Character Arcs" and Cinder's final scenes in Atlas are all indicative of the phase in a positive change arc where a character at first rejects the truth they need in order to change. It's the part where the character moves closer to the thing that they want but as a result move even further away from what they need. -EmperorLuffy

The case for her redemption becomes even more solid when you consider her backstory. Not necessarily what its about but rather the fact that she got one in the first place. If shes just going to be killed off, then why give her a backstory at all? Adam didnt get a backstory Neither did Hazel Watts or Ironwood No one who died got a backstory but Cinders story is apparently so important they can devote an entire Season to it? Doesnt sound like a character thats meant to be killed off -EmperorLuffy

Sorry if I'm typing too much but my point was that they are very clearly doing something with Cinder that they are not doing with any other antagonist besides Salem. Thus it's only reasonable to conclude that Cinder's character story holds some sort of significance, as there wouldn't be a need to tell her story otherwise. There'd be no point in fleshing out her story if there were ultimately no meaning behind it and she was just meant to die. -EmperorLuffy

Hi EmperorLuffy, hope you're having a good day.

Sad to hear you dropped the show. Unfortunately for everybody I am very much here to stay. (Also no, you're not typing too much, I think it's pretty obvious I don't mind length around here). (:

I've no reference point for One Piece, and it's really not the sort of anime that interests me, but I can respect your taste.

I think you’re misunderstanding my point about endings. Endings aren’t arbitrary, they affirm the intent of the text. The point of Cinder's redemption is that not only is it just interesting but it also affirms and lines up with themes in the show - it's not too late to turn back, life isn't senseless tragedy, there is meaning in pain and joy... and because I love and adore Rose Tico, I think, 'It's not about fighting what we hate, but saving what we love,' is something I spy in R/WBY in particular.

Whilst I do broadly agree with you about Cinder's redemption, I've already written a lot on this topic and similarly commented on the special attention paid to her. For how economic they are with their storytelling (and the fairytale/mythic intertextuality is one way of doing this), they dedicated quite a bit to her in V8 alone.

I also wrote more here on Cinder versus Adam. That post covers a lot of what I think are critical errors in comparing Cinder to Adam. Similarly, my first post about Hazel covers issues with death-by-redemption and what the purposes are of a character like Hazel, in relation to Cinder especially, though the post is from October last year. And yes, I'm pretty sure Cinder's redemption is set up for Salem's, that's why the literal Salem/Ozma analogue with Jaune and Cinder is so potent.

I would agree that the conflict of desires and needs are very apparent with her character and I've also written about this before, it's the conflict inherent to what she thinks she wants out of the Maiden power (power, and all of them) versus what it could actually give her (spiritual and emotional development, true freedom and responsibility). The fact she's tricking her own master (the way Oscar tricked Ozma in V6) at the end of V8 should be significant enough on this front alone.

Here is an early post about what direction I think Cinder's redemption is taking at the end of V8. It's a bit older as well, and I might articulate it better now, but I would still compare the point her character is at as the same position Ironwood was in recomitting to good. (I think I was a bit impassioned in that post because the idea that Cinder was just going to be evil again and it was some sort of 'subverted' redemption arc was something I had been seeing around since the end of the volume).

From that post:

#a treatise on why cinder fall is the love of my life #cindemption #LOL! I DO WHAT I WANT!

Ok I guess I forget how much 'too much' I am.

Also, I'm not sure how it's possible to read Cinder's redemption (and her living) without Knightfall, so it's interesting that you don't think Knightfall will be canon but maintain Cinder's redemption is likely. Personally I think it's a wombo combo. I can't find where I've talked about this before but I think the point with Cinder is you need someone to get through to her, and the 'power of friendship' is clearly insufficient.

Anyway, I think the best point is that her death means the Maiden powers will be in question. As I've said so before, this doesn't make sense unless the Maiden powers are done away with, but even in that case it doesn't mean she has to die. I also think all the current Maidens except Summer are endgame, as I've said a few times... so there's a clear thematic statement being made with the powers, especially in relation to redemption, and also for something else I twigged, but that's going in a new post - I forgot to make it the other night when I went to sleep. It's more of a deliberate articulation of the themes of legacy.

Poor old Cinder. Everybody speculates over her death, for good or ill. I want to see her hatch a magnificently evil plan and succeed only to find the victory spiritually hollow. Oh wait!

#seraphina's asks #user: emperorluffy

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errrrgreatperhaps · 1 year

Text

God’s Faithfulness Displayed

These past few weeks have been quite a whirlwind. It conjured up lots of emotions I thought I had guarded myself against but somehow it slowly maneuvered its way into my life. More importantly, this whole episode made me marvel at God’s faithfulness over and over again.

It all started out when G confessed to me a month ago. That was the second time he put himself out there and I thought why not give him a chance and give myself a chance to consider the potential of us. Later did I know there were so many things we had to work through. The main reasons why I was very hesitant about dating him was because of the fact that he can’t lead me in Christ and I cannot be super sure of his relationship with God due to his absence from the church community/ bible reading/ praying for over 3 years.

On my birthday, 16th August. It was a Sunday and the plan was to go to the newly opened cat cafe at rail mall with my church mates (yonk, astrid, heather & aden) before popping in for Sunday service afterwards. The day started out with a lovely Macky D breakfast that Alicia ordered and then I had bible study with Phoebe. I haven’t read with her for about a month now and there are many things I had to update her about my life. In addition, she is my CGL and I see the value of being accountable to one another and I really want to share/ consult her regarding my feelings for G. Honestly, I already knew what she was going to say but at the same time, I had an inclination to hear it from her in person. After my conversation with her, I felt very confused and a sense of helplessness overcame me. I immediately texted G because I knew I had to speak to him about all of it. He assured me that he is opened for chatting and that really comforted me for the time being so I could sort out my day before spilling the beans. I realised I was fighting the tension of wanting to obey the Lord and wanting to fulfil the worldly desires of the heart. However, at the end of the day, I feel that it was what I needed to hear....I really respect both R&P and knowing how wise they are in approaching a God glorifying life, so thank Go I can sort out their wisdom/ assurance in this matter. P is absolutely right that if I love G as a brother-in-christ, then his salvation should be more important than tis short term desire of wanting to be in a relationship.

I had the most marvellous day. Despite the initial hiccup at the cat cafe which has already been fully booked, we ended up at Chow Cute cafe (credits to Astrid because her cousin works there). We spent the whole afternoon there in the outdoor cafe with all the different mix of chow chows and I must say, it was rather therapeutic. I got to see my favourite Brownie (he is a mixed of chow chow and german shepherd)! He reminds me of Woofie very much and he has such an endearing temperament, it’s hard not to adore him. We even had our regular zoom service together and making that a part of my birthday was something I truly value. My highlight of this whole trip was when we drove back to the West and everyone was just singing worship songs in the car while we marvelled at the beauty of the setting sun. I couldn’t help but feel God showing off His wonderful creation and my heart was filled with His praises. I could really sense His presence and see His faithfulness that is as constant as the rising and setting sun. In those moments, I teared up quite a bit because I was immensely filled with so much unexplainable joy. To internalised the truth that God is love. My brothers and sisters in christ are so loved and love each other with Christ’s love. Why then soul do you seek the love from a partner? God has given me these friends that love me with Christ’s love, that should be enough?

After dinner, Yonk sent me home and before I got out of his car, I was prompted to share with him my troubles. The talk I had with P really burdened my heart and I don’t think I can resolve it alone. Praise God for sending the right person at the right time. After sharing with him, I broke down from the guilt of feeling like an awful person who said yes to G the night before and having second thoughts the very next day...I want to call it off but I did not want to hurt him. I’ve gotten his hopes up and now I have to let him down. What a mistake! A costly mistake because it will hurt someone I care for so much. I felt pretty shitty. That night was also the first time I saw how emotional or gentle Yonk could be. He was so patient in dealing with me and he prayed for us before and after this whole fuss. It was absolutely humbling to be seeking God’s help first and foremost in this desperate situation.

After Yonk left, I knew I had to get through this or not I will not be able to sleep, so I called him up and asked to meet. It was such a relief to know that he felt the same about the situation. He knew immediately that he rushing into things the night before when he asked for an answer. He was very apologetic about it and we had the longest talk that lasted till 4 in the morning. In conclusion, we have decided that we shall not be dating till he has place God at the center of his life (i.e, fruitful prayer life, settled down in The Crossing, serving in ministry) and he is willing to wait on God’s timing for us. This really showed his maturity in handling our hearts and how serious he is about building his relationship first with Jesus. Both of us agreed that we got a sense of peace in this decision. It’s not because we are certain of what’s to come in the months or years ahead, if we ever end up together or not but to know that what we did pleases God, that in and of itself is good enough.

It feels like everything that happened in the day led up to this point...I had the courage to fight sin, to put on the armour of God and make Him shine in my weakness. My faithful Lord brought me through this and I can rest in knowing that I am walking in His will for me in my life!

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sandsorghum · 2 years

Text

JJK Cast React to You Asking for a Threesome

Smuterday

Recently you've been obsessed toying with the idea that there's space for one more in your beds...How would your JJK partners react and who would they ask to participate in this menage a trois?

(I guess this would take place in an AU where they all know each other but there's no animosity amongst them)

M I N O R S DNI.

How he reacts:

Isn't taken aback per se, nor is he offended

Geto's no prude but perhaps he didn't expect you to be interested in that sort of arrangement

Definitely uses the opportunity to learn more about your proclivities and what makes you tick

will ask if you have anyone specific, or a specific profile in mind

Surprisingly he doesn't tease you about it

but he does make sure on his own terms, you know who you belong to at the end of the night

Who he asks:

Gojo, of course

Who better than his best friend to take care of his partner

Deep down maybe he thinks Satoru's the only one up to the task, who can match his prowess

More importantly it's a guarantee of a good time, he knows Satoru won't be weird or awkward about it afterward

Well Gojo might brag or inquire about you insufferably for a few weeks, but it's nothing Geto can't handle

would probably keep getting pestered about when 'the next time' is

"Satoru, if your performance was as mind blowing as you proclaim they'd have asked for you again by now. But they haven't."

Cue Satoru sulking for a few days

well, at least until you do ask after him

"Oh sweetheart, you're so predictable. He's gonna have a field day, you know?"

You know he means it more as a tease than an admonishment, but it comes across particularly cruel with Suguru's lips and fingers drawing those oh so predictable sounds from you

He stills for a moment, both to muse and savour your whimpers

"Here I've been doing humanity a favour by keeping Satoru's giant ego in check, and you're gonna undo all my labour in one night, hm?" Suguru smirks against your skin

"I'd better get you trained to handle the both of us, I suppose."

How he reacts:

is delighted you brought it up first, you beat him to the chase

he knew there was a reason he liked you

Gojo certainly leans towards being adventurous in bed so he's delighted to have met someone as deviant frisky as you

finally someone who can keep up or won't be threatened by the diverse range of his desires

the whole affair would come together really quickly if you wanted, within the next couple nights of you initially making the suggestion

Who he asks:

Geto, naturally

probably has him on speed dial

Satoru ain't picky, he'd accept just about anyone you're comfortable with

But him and Geto have an innate understanding of each other, an incredible dynamic...

that's decidedly advantageous when they both slip into your sheets

it's obvious this isn't the first time it's happened

and far more evident that it won't be the last either

you know you adore Satoru but seeing the way Suguru stares at him in the afterglow turns something molten in your chest

and sure, that's just the effect Satoru has on people, whether he's being intentional about it or not (he isn't, most times)

Suguru's impossible to resist too in his own way, but that night is the first time you're aware of the threat he poses...

well, there's a reason that ancient wisdom gets passed down: If you can't beat him, join him

little does Satoru know how badly in over his head he's gonna be

How he reacts:

Nanami is scandalised stunned, even if he won't show it outright

but you can tell by his careful questions about where this is coming from, despite his measured response (or maybe even because of it)

he doesn't dismiss it immediately,it's his way of acknowledging and empathizing with how nervous you are about asking him for this

he's glad you can be open and share your desires with him, but at the same time he has pretty firm views about how things should be between a couple and he conveys this in no uncertain terms

it's as close to a rejection without him spelling it out, though Nanami doesn't like to see you disappointed

so he agrees to at least table the discussion, rather than shut it down completely

definitely would take the most convincing out of all the guys, if he ever agrees at all

Nanami's not insecure about the relationship, but tends to have a jealous streak

a habit that manifests itself over the next few nights, for your... benefit, shall we say

it makes you question if this is something you really do need to explore with Kento, it seems like such a silly little whim next to the urges he fills you with, over and over, so copiously, so satisfyingly

Even if you never mention it again, Nanami knows the back of your mind like the back of his hand

(he's seen your internet browser history, and surprised himself that his immediate reaction wasn't disgust, but intrigue)

maybe he embarks on some risque research of his own, warming to the idea

and it's not like he hasn't noticed your attempts to nudge him along and be oh so persuasive during his more receptive moods...

Who he asks:

There really is only one option; Geto

he doesn't trust anyone else to be discrete enough about the arrangement

or keep to their word about never bringing it up again

If your desires haven't taken on the shape of someone specific, Nanami would prefer to keep it that way

So it should be a prospect you have cavalier enough chemistry with, but not a crush on

Call him petty, call him guarded - Nanami doesn't care. He refuses to risk your head being turned by anyone, no matter how often you tell him nobody compares to him

It will be a one-off thing

Nanami would be the most strict concerning specific acts

No leaving marks

No cumming in or on you

Penetration is permissible, but only with fingers and tongue

You cum first, before either of them

It's only the last of these that is more courtesy than severely enforced rule; your pleasure is his priority, as always

But Nanami's willing to allow some flexibility on the order of who gets to orgasm

he can hardly blame Geto if he loses it earlier than expected, look at you, so perfectly splayed and submissive for the both of them

yet you're entirely in control of the situation

that's the most important rule.

If you want to call it off at any point, you can

And the same applies to Nanami, you'll stop if he wants you to

but he doesn't, not for a moment

he had anticipated tolerance, not torture

that it would be something he'd put up with, for your sake, for your enjoyment

you must have known, somehow, he was just as depraved as you

because Nanami can't look away for a single second from your debauchery, even at the hands of another man

your desire and your delight, doubled despite the presence of an interloper

a very industrious, skilled one at that

for all of Suguru's coaxing and groaning, you remain stubborn - staring at Nanami with a desperation that devours him

He knows you know you don't need his permission to climax

instead, you're granting him something else, something far more intimate, it's still his name trembling on your lips

"Cum, sweetheart, as much as you want, for the both of us."

Even as the shards of your self-restraint shatter in another's mouth with kaleidoscopic carnality, you and Nanami know who are the only two in the room he's referencing, that really count, being reflected whole, in each other's eyes

How he reacts:

Enthusiastically

at least until he finds out you mean another guy

and then is pretty irritated at the notion of you needing or wanting anyone else

you probably gotta appeal to his ego at least a little bit

prove to him it's more curiosity than necessity

Toji knows that, of course he does - what use does he have for jealousy?

Except as...a pretext

be prepared not to walk for a week while Toji sorts thru his "feels"

he'll come around eventually iykwim

Who he asks:

Gojo, because he has a score to settle

Sex pretty much boils down to power play with Toji, and he's already conquered you on multiple occasions

so a bit of a challenge or a new contender might be refreshing

it's 2-on-1, but the dynamics of who's on whose team keeps switching

one position you're on Satoru's side, driving Toji wild, and the next you're back on Toji's team, making Satoru feel that same rare thrill of being in danger, of having lost control for once

Ultimately, Toji keeps you in check

and oh, when he and Satoru finally start working together against you...

Well, either way, you're benefiting

until you wake up doubly sore the next day at least

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some-messed-up-writing-for-you · 3 years

Note

Continuation of Request #14?

Request #23

Warning: mentions of past rape, beliefs of oneself being unlovable/unwanted.

Honestly, at first, I wasn't sure where to go with this, but I ultimately gave it a wholesome(?) ending that I'm satisfied with. (Of course, If y'all want another continuation, I'm down to write more in the future.)

Enjoy!

Part 1

~~~~

Welp...

It was morning now.

...

A sigh left Villain's lips as they lay freshly awake in their bed, staring at the ceiling. They had to go and deal with Hero, even though they really didn't want to. They were still rather puzzled about what had happened yesterday. Why the hell...? Did Hero actually enjoy...?

Shaking their head to clear their thoughts, the villain lifted themself with a slight groan and dragged themself out of bed. Now, first things first, they were in dire need of a shower. Their nemesis' unexpected late-night visit had drained what little energy they had at the time, so they had just collapsed into bed as they were, all sweaty and gross.

Entering the bathroom and turning on the water, Villain freed themself of their clothing and hopped right in. As they rubbed shampoo into their greasy hair, they pondered how they should deal with this situation. On the one hand, they could probably use this to their advantage. They could make an arrangement of sorts. Hero gets what they want as long as they follow Villain's orders.

Lightly chuckling, they imagined the looks on their nemesis' teammates' faces as they realized the hero had betrayed them. And only to fulfill some fucked up fantasy of theirs, too.

But on the other hand, this was super weird, and the villain probably shouldn't indulge Hero. This could get out of hand very fast. After all, the hero had already snuck back into Villain's base; who knows what they might do next to get what they're after.

With another sigh, they turned off the water, grabbed a towel, and went to get dressed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hero sat in the corner of their cell. Their arms had gotten tied behind their back, and the familiar power-suppressing collar was back on their neck. They weren't sure why they had come back. I mean, they knew why they came back, but they also... didn't.

It was such a stupid idea. Of course, Villain would freak out! Why the hell did the hero think they would react any other way?! What was wrong with them? Why did- Why did Hero enjoy being used like that...?

Were they into all that shit, or were they just... really that desperate for contact?

...

Hero couldn't deny that they did, in fact, enjoy being at the villain's mercy, but... physical contact was still their main desire. Even during their fights, they often let themself get pinned down, just so that they could be close to someone, even if only for a short moment. And Villain... Villain just happened to be the one person who willingly got closer to them...

...

Maybe they were just sick in the head... People probably avoided them for a reason... Villain didn't care about them; they were enemies after all. They only got close to the hero because they were fighting. It made sense, didn't it...? It made sense that Hero was unwanted-

The door suddenly creaked open, and light flooded the small room, blinding the hero for a moment. They blinked their eyes a couple of times to adjust, and once they did, their gaze met with the dark form of their nemesis.

With their arms crossed and a stern calculating look on their face, the villain stood before them, looking down at them. Hero fidgeted nervously under their stare and eventually looked away, head hanging low in their shame. The sigh that left Villain only made them curl in on themself more.

"Hero." - the criminal started, mentally preparing for one hell of a ride. "Why did you come back? I mean, you told me why, but- but why?"

Silence was all they received as an answer, and it honestly got on their nerves a bit. Hero fucking breaks back into their base and then doesn't even want to talk? Fine. They would do this a different way then.

Villain's footsteps echoed through the cell as they approached the quiet hero whose face still turned away from them. As they knelt down, they grabbed the other's chin and forced them to turn their head. The villain noticed the way Hero shivered from their touch and had expected them to try and pull away in fright, but instead, they leaned into it, albeit a bit hesitantly.

With how cold it was in the room, the villain could easily feel how hot the captured's face burned. As their eyes met, the hero looked embarrassed and like they seriously didn't want to be here right now. The sight just made Villain's blood boil even more.

"Why so hesitant all of a sudden, Hero? You were so eager earlier." - the villain spat out angrily, their nemesis' indecisiveness irritating them. Just what the hell did they want?

Hero tried to stutter out an answer. They wanted to explain themself, they really did! But all they managed to say was a quiet "I-I'm sorry..." as tears slowly gathered in their eyes.

"You're sorry?" - Villain pressed, demanding a better answer.

Tensing up as their stomach twisted in their stress, they tried to explain again, voice meek as they admitted, "I- I was just... lonely..."

Their captor was quiet for a moment, studying their face. Trying to figure the other out, they eventually asked, "You let me rape you because you were lonely?"

"Um... Well... when you... put it that way... I... um..." - the hero mumbled, their gaze darting all over Villain's face, avoiding their eyes, too afraid to look into them.

The villain was silent again, slowly catching onto what Hero's deal was. The way the other's eyes were moving all around was annoying, so they decided to test something. Using their free hand, Villain softly cradled the hero's face, making them freeze, their gaze locked on the new point of contact. The criminal's touch slowly glided to the back of Hero's head, making them shudder as their hand tangled itself in the captured's hair.

The hero's eyes looked off to the side, trying to ignore the new feeling, but Villain brought them back to attention as they suddenly gripped Hero's messy locks and roughly pulled, getting a yelp out of them. They shivered as the villain forced their faces closer and ordered, "Look me in the eyes, or I'm leaving."

With a small whine, Hero's eyes immediately snapped to Villain's own.

"Bingo." - the criminal thought as they loosened their grip on the other's hair and instead tenderly began to massage their scalp.

As another whimper crawled out of the hero's throat, they pleaded meekly, "S-Stop... Y-You- You d-don't-"

"You're touch starved." - Villain said, matter-of-factly, anger disappearing as their expression turned more neutral as Hero's tears started to flow down their face. "You let me hurt you because it meant I would touch you."

"I- I- I'm-" - the hero tried to deny their nemesis' words but ultimately failed as they broke down into sobs, still looking into the other's eyes, not wanting them to pull away.

The villain paused in their petting and instead cradled Hero's face with both their hands, the hero inhaling shakily at the feeling. As they hiccuped and sniffled, Villain continued their conversation.

"I admit, seeing you under me is fun, but you seriously need some help." - the criminal watched as Hero only cried more, still desperately keeping eye contact. They really needed help. I mean, to just let themself get raped? They could've just told Villain what they wanted, and they would've let them go!

And yeah, sure, the villain wasn't the best for doing that to them in the first place either, but they only did it because it was Hero. Raping some random person is of no interest to Villain, but the hero? They knew what they were signing up for when they picked this job, so the villain didn't mind being ruthless to them.

But still... this was... honestly just sad. Did Hero genuinely have no one who cared about them? Villain supposed they had fans, but that wasn't really the same thing. Someone liking them as a hero is a lot different than someone loving them as a person.

...

Did... Villain like them?

...

They didn't exactly hate them, but were they interested in the other like that?

...

Well, they did tell their henchmen to put Hero in that... revealing outfit...

It was mostly just to humiliate the hero, but...

...

Shit.

...

With a small sigh, they made their decision and continued talking from earlier. "And I'm gonna be the one to get you that help, 'cause God knows you won't get it yourself."

"W-Wha...?" - Hero's confusion made them pause their crying. What- What did Villain...

"W-What do y-you mean?"

"You're staying with me."

Hero's chest fluttered at that. Villain... wasn't going to push them away?

"R-Really...?" - the hero asked uncertainly, doubt still gripping at their heart.

With a smile that melted their worries away, the villain answered, "Yes, really. We'll get some oxytocin going in that brain of yours." They gave Hero's forehead a gentle boop for emphasis, and the hero found it oddly comforting.

"Also, we're getting you a therapist." - Villain added, more seriously this time. "And... you know what? Fuck it. I'm getting myself a therapist too. Got some shit of my own to deal with..."

In a slightly better mood, Hero playfully asked, "B-By 'get' do you mean you'll literally g-go and grab some therapists?"

The villain snorted in reply, and as they pulled the hero to their feet, they said, "For you? I'd kidnap a therapist any day, darling~."

The blush on Hero's face only worsened at the nickname, but they still found themself smiling, a bit giddy. As Villain undid their restraints, they rubbed at their wrists and neck, shyly looking to the other. "S-So, what now?"

"Now, we're going to go and have breakfast." - the villain answered, offering the hero their arm, which they flusteredly took as their stomach grumbled and as Villain grinned at them endearingly.

As the two of them walked, they talked about how exactly to proceed from here. Neither of them was of a very... healthy mindset, and such, this relationship probably wasn't the healthiest one out there. But... that was fine. They would get there someday.

If no one else would help them, then they would help each other.

#hero x villain #villain x hero #writing #writeblr #hero #villain #short story #prompt #writing prompt #request #request prompts #prompt request #hero x villain community #writing community

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doopy-n-loopy · 3 years

Text

Yan!TF2 × reader headcannons (SFW and NSFW)

// obsessive tendancies, mentions of violence, blood, sexual themes, noncon

[SFW]

Let's start with the defense classes

Defense:

Demoman

Deffo didn't admit that he loved you

Tbh he probably blamed it on his drunkenness

But dude you're always drunk

I mean seriously if he sobers up he'll genuinely die so like-

He would usually drink with you or just around you if you don't drink

He's generally a fun chill guy to be with

He would watch you from a distance at times, especially during battle you might distract the cyclops

He's okay with you asking questions

One time he broke his eyepatch and needed a new one

You gave him a nice black eyepatch with the demoman emblem on it

He gets all red whenever you say his full name, because he knows you remembered it

He is generally against kidnapping, I mean especially since he lives with his ma he'd rather not

And because he's a gentleman

If you ever reciprocate his feelings he'll make sure to treat you right

He is a messy person but for you? He'll clean

Probably would get carried away and make home made bombs with all the cleaning supplies 🤦‍♂️

Takes you to meet his mom

"ooo Tavish, yer gonna get me some grand kiddos are ya?"

That made you both blush like crazy

Soft cheek kisses

Probably made a special bomb and named it after you

"this one's for you, luv!" *Proceeds to set off all stickybombs which blows up the entire enemy team*

Blew up the last guy who looked at you funny

Hell, even worse when they make a sexual remark to you scout probably did it

Likes to give you your space but when he's paranoid he follows you to wherever or watched you from a distance

Heavy

Two words: big boy

Hugs are 10000000000/10

Sometimes it fewls suffocating but man it's like hugging a cloud

Soft forehead kisses

Russian pet names

He sometimes lets you touch Sasha, that's how he knows he loves you because he doesn't even let medic, his best friend, touch her

Probably named a gun after you or one of the pet names he calls you

You definitely met his family and they loved you

Zana especially

Doesn't get jealous easily but will not hesitate to unload 12 pounds of bullets into someone who even LOOKS at you the wrong way

Lord have mercy on the ones who dare flirt with you, rest in pieces scout

Doesn't really follow you anywhere (you're a bit too fast for him) but he does watch you and check up on you

He preforms okay on the battlefield but when you're around, he'll show off

Will cook for you, mainly russian dishes

He's very against kidnapping and would rather not do it

Doesn't shut up about you when he's around medic

Engineer

F l u f f y

Very softspoken in general but he gets all flustered when you talk to him

Will check up on you occasionally

"Darlin'" "Honey bunny" things like that y'know

Huge smile when you're around

Will cook for you most definitely, knows what you like

Makes little robots for you

Likes seeing you use his dispenser

Doesn't get jealous easily either but will try and take you away from someone who wants your attention

Likes just having you in his presence, doesn't need to talk to be happy with you around

Very very against kidnapping like all other defense classes, wouldn't do it unless if he truly felt the need to, last resort kind of thing

The last guy who flirted with you had a sentry gun shoved up his ass

Doesn't really follow you anywhere

Offense:

Scout

Nothing short of a horomonal teenager

I mean he's 21 but

He gets so giddy around you, very loud, tries to show off

He loves you very much

"oh yeah? Well I once absolutely smashed a guy into peices, he was still screaming when he was dead!"

He brags about brutal things but hey you love it since you're also brutal

Flexes his non-existent muscles around you

Would talk about his mom to you all day

Definitely got a tattoo of your face and name somewhere on his body, most likely his bicep

Your name is probably misspelled too but you never say anything about it because he can't read so it's fine

He hasn't really thought about kidnapping in all honesty, again, a last resort kinda thing if he can't get you to love him

He will make a damn SCENE if anyone flirts with you

"you think that's funny, chucklenuts? I eat guys like you for breakfast lunch AND dinner!" "I'll blow yer freakin head off if ya talk to y/n like that again!" Would definitely drag you away

God help anyone that makes you uncomfortable, he'll fuck them up, if that person is medic I mean he'll try to but we all know how fucking scary medic is

Follows you at times

Pyro

"Mphmphmpph"

Seems more lovey around you

Definitely gave you a hand full of the enemy's bloody bones thinking it was a bouquet of flowers

Absolute baby

Just so precious, scary but precious

Hugs for days

Good luck trying to get their ass off of you when you're on cease-fire

Very warm though, they smell like smoke with a bit of blood

Likes petting you

Isn't against the idea of kidnap because they don't realize what they're actually doing, they think they're just taking you to a magical place

Snuggles

When someone flirts with you their whole world changes

Gets angry and starts yelling at them

"MPHMPHMOHMPHHH! MPHMPHNHUMAHUMA!" - Pyro 2021

Will not let you get a checkup alone, he trusts medic but not with you

Very sweet tho, he'll turn around when you need to strip down

Will follow you almost EVERYWHERE and if they can, while holding your hand

Soldier

Yells at you a little less than the others

At first doesn't realize how he feels but then realizes that he loves you

Is pretty protective over you

Rants about America all day to you

Probably got you an american flag to wear

Doesn't really take off his helmet but he likes seeing you in it, makes him proud

If you ever live with him you'll find out that he owns like 20 racoons

"YOU ARE CUTER THAN A RACOON" "YOU WILL BE SAFE ON THE BATTLEFIELD, DO YOU HEAR ME MAGGOT?"

He loudly wakes everyone up in the morning but tries to avoid waking you up

Loves you as much as he loves America

Will show off on the battlefield for you

Isn't against kidnapping you, he probably did it early on if you showed immediately that you didn't reciprocate his feelings

Will blow any guy that hits on you to absolute bits

"MAGGOT DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WILL LEAVE THE LADY/MAN ALONE THIS INSTANT!"

Probably put you on his back and rocket jumped just to show you what it felt like

Follows you around a lot, it's really obvious because he wears a bucket over his head and crashes into things, when you look back he'll stand behind a lamp post or somewhere really obvious

Support

Ah yes, everyones favorite class including mine

Sniper

Very quiet

Takes secret glances at you

Pays more attention to you than the others

S h y

Asks how you are, how you slept, etc

Doesn't really need to be holding you, tbh he's against PDA

But he likes being in your presence

Just sit down next to him and he'll be fine

When he's on the battlefield, he'll look for you and make sure you're safe

God forbid anyone try to hurt you, he'll make them suffer

Talks about Australia to you and accidentally admitted that he wanted to take you there

Doesn't like the idea of kidnapping but he isn't totally against it, I can see him doing it

He smuggled you all the damn way to Australia

He'll nonchalantly show off to you on the battlefield, he'll let you get cornered and come in to save the day

"love" is a word he uses a lot with you

Will grumble to himself if he sees someone flirting with you

If it's a random person, well, that'll be the last time you ever see them

Has talked about you to his parents

Kind of follows you? I mean he sits atop a high placeand watches you through his scope whenever you're going somewhere

Spy

SEDUCTIVE ASF

He knows what he's doing

Will kiss your hand a lot

Likes to flirt with you and see you blush

"honhonhon"

Sleazy french fucker

Watched you from afar at first then approached you a little later

Isn't against the idea of kidnapping, pro kidnapping, definitely did it not only to have you to himself but for some sort of sexual satisfaction

Just very uh... Lewd? Can't find the right word

He treats you very respectfully though

If he hears anyone else flirting with you he'll be fuming but won't show it

"Oh please, like you could EVER satisfy y/n's desires"

That person mysteriously disappeared that night

Very cocky bastard

Definetly follows you home, not only that but he watches you through your window

And stalks you

He knows everything about you

Would get you either by knocking you unconscious or by blackmailing you

Medic

B a s t a r d

Gets LOUD when you're around

And giddy

Very touchy, always has a reason to put his hands on you

Talks a lot with you around, I mean he already talks a lot but now he won't shut up

Keeps his office nice and clean for you

He restocks on everything so when you come around you can take a loot at all his medicines

Big smile :D

Like spy he is not at all against kidnapping you

Makes sure you're comfortable during checkups

Will make you wait to be seen last just so he can take his time touching your body

"it's all part of the procedure".mp3

Compliments you in weird ways, ex: "your skin is so smooth and lovely, it's the perfect texture to make leather out of" "you have an amazing colon"

Look he's just trying his best here he has a screw loose

You're the only member who he's careful with really

Sometimes allows you to get hurt or has you get hurt by something just so you can see him

Always follows you wherever

Knows everything about you

If someone is flirting with you, he'll get quiet at first and use a low tone to speak to them

"you have guts talking to y/n like that"

They were never seen again

With kidnapping, he won't hesitate to use blackmail against you, or will just use anesthesia

Bonus: Pauling

Pauling

This lady values her work over her life, but to her you're so much more important

Will call you a lot on the battlefield to check in on you

Won't give you extremely hard missons to do because she doesn't want you to get hurt

"Hey (class), Pauling here. I need you... No not like that I just- I mean- for a mission yeah a mission"

Gets all flustered when you're around

Will take her only day off to spend time with you, what a sweetheart

Keeps multiple tabs on you

Follows you around

Doesn't really have time for kidnapping

But if it comes to that, she'll make something up so she has a reason to kidnap you

If anyone else is flirting with you she won't show that she's annoyed

She'll make something up as an excuse to execute them

[NSFW]

Defense

Demo

Has definitely thought of what you'd look like while naked

B l u s h

Has used a mental image of you to get off before

Probably has an actual photo of you

When he drinks a little more than usual, he'll accidentally brush his hand against your ass or get touchy with you

Will not force himself on you, he's 100% against that

If you decide to have sex with him, praise is what you're gonna get

"you're as beautiful as a shot of whiskey in the sunrise"

Very gentle with his hands

Heavy

Not the type to masturbate

Unless if he gets THAT worked up

Again, against forcing himself on you

But if you want it no doubt you will top

He's also gentle with you

And loving

Praise is all you're gonna get

Sometimes russian sometimes broken english

Either way he will worship your body

Engi

Again, a more modest guy, doesn't really touch himself

Might just use a robot to pleasure himself when thinking about you

Probably has a photo of you and him around his workshop

Never forces himself on you

He's sweet and gentle when you do want it though

Sometimes gets help from his robot friends

Offense

Scout

Gets off on thinking about you

Won't force himself on you though

Sexual remarks × 100

Calls you handsome/beautiful in bed

I wouldn't say he's the best in bed but hey he's good I guess

Cuddles after sex most likely

Probablh threw out all his sexual magazines because they just didn't do the trick anymore

Sometimes when he runs past you, your shirt/skirt gets lifted up by a gust of wind and he can't help but look ( ͡◉ ͜ ʖ ͡◉)

Since I hit the text limit, I'll be making a part 2, stay tuned

#tf2 x reader #medic x reader #engineer x reader #spy x reader #yandere hcs #yandere #scout x reader #sniper x reader #heavy x reader #demoman x reader #pyro x reader #soldier x reader #pauling x reader #yandere tf2

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gallickingun · 3 years

Note

How do you think Tama would react if you begged him to cum inside you while you were having sex? I just want our sweet elf boy to give me a nice creampie

cw: breeding kink, oral (m. receiving), praise, bit o’ dacryphilia!

His thumb is soft against your lower lip, watching with his own unhinged jaw as you bob your head up and down on his cock, the tip nudging your tongue until you are able to take him further, until your throat is tensing up around the thick shaft and you’re drooling down your chin. He swallows, a shininess in his eyes that he gets every time you beg to please him, every time you drop to your knees to prove to him that he’s worth a thousand stars.

“You’re so pretty,” and he doesn’t even mean to say it, not really. Tamaki’s voice is barely above a whisper, and his tongue parts his mouth so he can lick up and over the bow of his upper lip. An exhale shudders his shoulders and his free hand rubs your neck in a soothing motion, and for some reason he wants to kiss you so badly that he can’t see straight.

Or maybe that’s just a biproduct of your pretty mouth suckling all the way to the base of him.

Tamaki’s irises are hidden from you now, his lids unable to stutter open any longer, the further you take him, the more saliva that pools around the base of him until it drips from his balls to the floor. He moans, high and whiney, and his head drops back against the wall behind him, “Baby, ‘m gonna come if you keep that up.”

The thought of being able to taste him is divine, but your thighs throb with the need for something more. You swallow the pool of drool and pre that sits heavy on your tongue, and sit back on your thighs so you can look him in the eyes, seeking out those sweet, darkened irises with a gentle squeeze of his thigh under your petite grip, “T-Tama?”

You’ve wanted this for a while, wanted to beg and plead and cry until he gives it to you, but Tamaki swore he’d go slow, savor every piece of you until you’re tired and then, he’ll do it all over again. But, still, there is something missing. Your eyes are drawn momentarily to the shiny packages littered across your nightstand, taunting you silently, quietly mocking your every movement. You’ve purposefully bruised both of your knees tonight, with the hope that you can draw out such a long, heady arousal from him that it would leak out of you — but not your mouth, not this time.

“Yeah?” he’s trying his hardest not to stutter, you can tell. Your thumb runs over his knee and then you’re cupping your hands along his calves, anchoring yourself to the floor so you don’t float away with how effervescent his gaze makes you feel. You’re squirming on the floor now, the heels of your feet dug into your ass to give yourself some sort of harsh reminder that you need to get this question out of the way, that it will bother you until you know his answer.

You bite your lower lip to bring yourself back to reality and the sentence is slurred, but at least you’ve propelled it from your lips this time, “W-Will you come in me?”

His hips stutter to a stop and you’re worried you’ve run him off. You lick your lips and massage your thumbs in circles against his ankles, drifting palms headed north to administer the same affections to his thighs. Tamaki inhales in a shudder, and his thick fingers slide along your neck until he’s near gripping you at the shoulders, like he might push you further down until the floor swallows you whole. His thumb traces your jawline until he reaches your lower lip, and he cannot stop himself as he runs the pad of his fingerprint against the swell of your lower lip.

“Y-You mean it?” he is hesitant, and you could cry at the sound of his voice breaking the silence. Your mouth laps at the spittle and start of his orgasm that beads against his cockhead, pearlescent and pretty along the purpled tip. A nod has your mind boggling, and all you want is to let him drown you in whatever he’s willing to give you, just to taste him in your womb instead of your throat.

Tamaki guides you to your feet, fingers circled around your wrists to hold you closely, “Angel, I need to know—“

“Yes, I mean it,” your voice is firm and your gaze is direct enough to match. With a gusto you did not have moments prior, you reach out to hold his shaft in your hand, swiveling your palm up and down the length of him so the head disappears in your grasp and he’s already moaning on your first pass. He bucks his hips but then thinks twice, holding you by the hips and angling his pelvis backward so he does not move again, “I-I’m close, c-can’t keep goin’ like this.”

You are a mess when you take another step forward and practically beg him with your words and your gaze, “Then fuck me, ‘jiki. Want to feel you, all of you, inside of me, please!”

Unsure of where your words incited the riot that is his next movements, you allow him to take you along for the ride. Tamaki guides you to the bed and settles between your thighs, wanting to watch the way you fall apart beneath him as he spears you on the thick of his cock and he milks the sticky translucent arousal from between your precious, velveteen folds. He’s slow and deliberate with each thrust, savoring the way your plush warmth steals the very breath from his lungs, sucking him in like it might be the last stroke you ever feel. His palms are tucked under your knees, using the leverage of this position to hold you near folded in half, something you might complain about if it weren’t for the fucked out expression slackening his features.

“Ah, I’m, ‘m cl-close, angel,” he whimpers, and you’re surprised he’s managed this long. You feel a haze cloud your vision and you know it’s the tears that always fall when he fucks you raw on his cock. He’s so thick and deliberate, and you find yourself lost in every bit of him no matter how he takes you. Tamaki’s hips slam into your ass and it stings, and you’re sure that there will be a plethora of reminders of this evening in the form of blistering purple bruises along the curve of your ass.

“Please, Tama’,” you are wanton and uncaring in the desperation to your tone. You buck into him, meeting him more than halfway, the promise of his seed driving you to a new level of hungry. Tears seep down your cheeks and he releases one leg in favor of throwing it over his shoulder, just so he can brush his thumb over the curve of your face, collecting the saltine droplet on his fingertip. You open your mouth in beckoning for his finger, and he obliges you with little question, nothing but adoration and awe in his eyes as he watches your lips mold around his thick digit, suckling and licking at the knuckles.

Tamaki rolls his lips and then his hips and he gasps for breath, “Tell me, love, tell me what you want from me, please, I need you to—“

It is the only encouragement you need to beg for his cock, his come, to tell him that it’s the only thing left to complete you. There is a hole carved out in your innermost parts, and it’s created just for him. You are a desolate wasteland without the depths of his affections, and the weight of his cock between your thighs is but one facet to the gem of your relationship. Your nails are relentless against his back and shoulders, clawing at him like he might be taken from you if you were to let him go. Tamaki indulges you to the fullest, not a single complaint from his full lips as he bucks into you with a sheer force that rivals even the most brutish of men.

“R-Right there,” he murmurs, seemingly to himself, “g-gonna stuff you full, angel, gonna give you all my come until it’s pouring out of you, is that what you want?”

You’re incapable of speech at this point, too fucked out to do much other than listen and receive. Luckily for you both, you’re receptive enough for a thousand lifetimes, eyes widening and mouth parted in a silent begging as you tighten your thighs and cant your hips in time with his rhythm. The pleadings you’re able to muster are little more than musings, incomplete sentences and half-syllables, but he has been with you long enough to know what you mean.

Tamaki seems to put it all together on his last stroke, eyes widening as he falls forward, hips stuttering with aborted, untimely shifts until you feel the warmth inside of you duplicate tenfold, his cock twitching until he’s spent himself dry. Still, Tamaki moves like he might get started up again, half-hard cock still nestled into the sticky heat of your cunt, watching as the milky slick coats his cock in a ring, collecting when he pulls himself out only to stuff you full all over again. You wonder for a moment if he’s doing this with the knowledge that he’s fucking deeper into your womb with each roll of his hips, but you don’t have the wherewithal to ask.

“So pretty,” his words are but a distant echo of earlier, and this time the meaning is increasingly more lewd than it was when he was merely watching you take his cock deeper and deeper into your throat. Now, with the pulsating thick of his shaft finding purchase in the plush of your cunt, his words carry more weight, and this time you know he’s referencing the way your folds coat him in slick, not leaving an inch of him insatiable for your come. He is coated in it, drenched in the mixture of you both, and immediately, the desire to repeat the action stirs his cock from the depths of your body.

“No, you,” you giggle, framing his face with your hands so you can bring him forward for a kiss, “you’re always so pretty, ‘specially when you come.”

Tamaki turns so his cheek is pressed to yours, hoping you didn’t see the lustful darkening of his amethyst irises before he responds, “Wanna see me get downright gorgeous?”

A giggle is shared between the two of you, along with another round of your begging and pleading to be stuffed to the brim, and who is Tamaki to deny you of something when you ask so sweetly?

#tamaki amajiki x reader #tamaki thirst #tamaki x reader #amajiki x reader #tamaki amajiki smut #bnha smut #bnha thirst #bnha x reader #morgan writes bnha #morgan thirsts #morgan gets mail #anonymous #god can you tell i haven’t written x reader in SO LONG

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minor-solemnity · 3 years

Text

Truth Will Out

Tag List: @jinxqsu @riddles-wifey@naps-and-lemons @mainlynonsense @cakesarecute

Content warning: Smut, light bdsm, power dynamics and a questionable use of veritaserum

A companion piece to Tender, We Lay Bound

It starts, as most things with Tom do, with a hand on your lower back and his voice, soft and low in your ear, “I’d like to try something tonight.” It’s really incredibly unfair that he chooses the moment when you’re about to walk into Potions to whisper this to you because now you’re going to be distracted all through your assessed brewing of Veritaserum. Judging by the smirk that curls Tom’s lips as he takes his place next to you at the front of the class, he’s fully aware of this. He lays his equipment down neatly in front of him, looking for all the world, like every teacher’s wet dream: prepared, inquiring, and engaged in the lesson. You know him better though, you know that he’s actually the devil incarnate, and is currently enjoying your flustered attempts to pay attention to what Slughorn’s saying about the forthcoming lesson.

Slughorn waves his hand to signal for you all to start gathering ingredients and Tom leaves to fetch the things you’ll both need. You’ve been brewing your batch of Veritaserum for the past month and today will reveal whether or not you’ve succeeded. The mark you get in for this potion will count for a family large portion of your overall grade, and it’s a good thing that you’re partnered with Tom, because whilst you might be one of the best in the class, your mind is so far from the task at hand that you know you’ll be relying on him for most of the more focussed aspects of the brewing today. You also know that Tom is probably cognizant of this fact and planned it as such.

Damn him. If he didn’t make you so weak at the knees, you’d have hexed him by now.

“Was that really necessary?” You ask when he returns, snatching the caladium root out of his hands. You start shredding the delicate roots with a little more force than is probably good for them, and besides you, Tom tsks.

“I’m quite sure I have no idea what you’re talking about, but you should be a little gentler with those,” He gestures to the roots. “We wouldn’t want to do poorly on this test because you’re a little riled up, would we?” Gods, you hate it when he teases you. Well, no, that’s a lie. Most of the time you love it when he teases you, but usually, you’re not in a Potions class with half your grade hanging over your head.

He chuckles lowly at your expression which is one of annoyance and indignity and spends most of the rest of the class alluding to the plans he has for you whilst expertly managing your potion so you can continue to daydream about what he might mean. It doesn’t escape your notice that Tom pours an extra vial of the Veritaserum when the time comes to present Slughorn with your finished product. He slips the extra into his pocket and raises a finger to his lips before you can question him.

You manage to avoid Tom for the rest of the day, which is good for your sanity for two reasons: firstly, whenever he had spotted you, he had given you a knowing look and found a way to touch you that from an outsider perspective would look entirely innocent but had left you dizzy with anticipation and unable to focus on anything other than the mysterious things he had in store for you. Secondly, and you’ll never admit this to him, your overactive imagination has run away with itself fantasising about the night ahead, and the way that he looks at you makes you think that he somehow knows exactly what you're thinking. You’d rather save yourself the embarrassment of his smirks and wry hums of amusement.

***

Of all the evenings for Tom to be busy with his Head Boy duties, it obviously has to be today. You’re fairly sure he’s planned it like this because you know him well enough by now to know that that he likes it when you’re a little on edge. His desire for control and power over the people he surrounds himself with manifests itself in multiple ways: with his friends, he leads with an iron fist, viewing disobedience as a betrayal; with his professors, he charms and manipulates until he has them wrapped around his little finger; with you, it’s slightly different. Your family, whilst not doing badly, cannot open doors for him the way the Maylfoy’s can, and you’re smart, but not outrageously so, so the impetus to use you for your talents isn’t there either. When Tom tells you that he wants you for your company and your companionship, you believe him. No, with you, his want for control manifests in slow touches, whispered commands, and a desire to see you fall apart in a way you refuse to do for anyone else.

His dormitory is empty when you enter, which is hardly a surprise; his roommates know when to make themselves scarce and to leave you privacy. You take a moment to gather your wits and to try and calm your nerves before you take a seat in the centre of his bed. The minutes tick by excruciatingly slowly, and you fight with your school tie, trying to guess if he would like it if he found you naked and waiting or if he wants the pleasure of undressing you himself. It all depends on his mood which can as mercurial and changing as the tides. You settle on a compromise, more because you’re impatient and excited and restless. You abandon your robes, leave your tie on the desk beside the bed, and unbutton the first three buttons of your shirt before settling back against the soft pillows and try to focus on the book you’ve brought with you.

The door clicks open and shut and you startle at the noise. Tom leans against the doorframe, half-hidden in shadow, a tempting and dangerous sight as he appraises you slowly. You swallow around your nerves, and your throat constricts as he loosens his ties and walks over to you, predatory and sleek, like some sort of wild cat, all tightly controlled power ready to be unleashed. It makes your mouth water.

He more or less crawls up the bed and you let your legs fall open to accommodate him. He reaches forwards and cups your jaw in his hand, his fingers splaying so that he cradles your head and you instinctively press your face into his hand, seeking contact and heat and protection. “Have you been waiting for me for all this time?” He says and you nod, eyes slitting to watch his pleased smile at your response. “Good girl. Are you ready for me?”

“I thought you might like to take care of that,” You murmur and you can’t deny the way excitement leaks into your voice. He hums approvingly and pulls away, just a for a moment as he reaches inside his robe to retrieve a small vial of clear liquid. Your eyes widen slightly at the Veritaserum dangling delicately between his fingers. “Is that what I think it is?”

His smile turns wolfish at the slight tremor in your voice and he cocks his head to one side, the hand that isn’t holding the vial, moving slowly up your calf, up the curve of your knee before flattening across the meat of your thigh and stroking the sensitive junction where your thigh meets your pubic bone. “Do you trust me?” He asks, which isn’t exactly an answer, but you think that’s maybe the point. Tom has a strange thing about trust; he likes it when you prove your loyalty to him. Drinking a potion where you’re not entirely sure what the effects will be is definitely something you can see him enjoying.

Slowly, hesitatingly, you nod and he pushes you back against the pillows. He brushes his thumb against your lower lip and pushes two fingers inside your mouth. Heat and desire lick like flames across your skin and your thighs clench in anticipation and need. He lets you run your tongue over them, suck them slowly before he removes them and pinches your chin to keep your mouth open as he pours a few drops onto your outstretched tongue. “That’s it, such a good girl for me,” He says, barely more than a whisper in the heavy silence that surrounds you. His eyes are dark with want and gratification, and he begins to undo the buttons of his shirt, revealing smooth, pale skin that you want to lick.

He leans over you and kisses your jaw and trails bruising kisses against your neck, humming softly when you gasp. “Do you want me to touch you?” He murmurs into your skin and the potion, which you can now confirm was Veritaserum, works its magic and you feel a compulsion to answer.

“Yes, please, I want—” Your words are cut off by a low moan as he brushes his fingers over your underwear which are already damp with your desire for him.

“So wet for me, already.” He’s playing with you at such a leisurely pace that your pleasure is mingled with frustration but when you try to shift your hips closer he pushes you back against the mattress. “So impatient, tell me, darling, how do you want me to touch you?”

You begin to realise exactly why he wanted to use the Veritaserum because you want so many things, you want his fingers and his mouth, you want him to kiss you, to undress you, to play with you until you can’t think let alone talk. These are not uncommon wants when it comes to Tom, but you’re normally too embarrassed to voice them to him, no matter how much he enjoys listening. Now, with the Veritaserum, it’s as though your voice acts without you telling it to, the words tumbling from your lips unbidden and a deep flush rises up your chest and neck as you whimper, “I want… I want you to take my clothes off now, and I-I want you to, fuck, I want your mouth.” You feel overexposed and vulnerable admitting this to him and your eyes are squeezed shut tight because even looking at him is too much right now.

He rewards you for your forced honesty by giving you exactly what you asked for, peeling your underwear down your legs and burying his head between your thighs, lapping at your folds like a parched man. It’s glorious, it always is and soon your clothes are discarded and you keep babbling away, asking and requesting until you’re incoherent. Even though he is the one acquiescing to your every whimpered desire, Tom is still firmly in control. Every sentence out of his mouth is framed as a question, forcing you to answer honestly even when it makes you blush and squirm. Every one of your fantasies is laid out in front of him and the fact that he could ask you anything and you would be compelled to answer truthfully is never far from your mind.

“Look at you, if only you could see yourself,” Tom mutters, his voice rough with exertion, sweat beading in the dips of his collarbones as he pushes you against the pillows, one of his hands reaching and pinning both of your wrists above your head. “Do you like the sound of that? Would you like to see me fuck you? Do you want to see how wrecked you look?”

“Yes.”

Neither of you lasts very long after that. You cling to him desperately, your legs locked tightly around his waist as his breathing grows erratic. Your entire world is narrowed down to Tom and the feeling of his body moving against yours. Everything feels strangely floaty and distant, yet still incredibly intense as if your mind and body can’t quite comprehend what’s happening and is just rolling in sensation and emotion and feeling. The heat that had encompassed you before he even entered the room grows hotter and the flames of your desire burn brighter. You feel your orgasm build low in your belly, a tight ball of tangled nerves that snowballs and crashes over you as you shake with barely contained need. Tom grips your hip, pulling you somehow closer, and licks a wet stripe between the valley of your breasts, his teeth catch your earlobe and you shudder with overstimulation. He lasts another three strokes before he comes with a shaky gasp, his lips brushing yours.

For a moment after, you just lay there, a tangle of limbs and sweat and body heat. Eventually, though, he rolls off of you, and you stretch your aching limbs before snuggling into the duvet. It’s when he passes you a small vial of a swirling grey-silver liquid that what you’ve just done truly hits you. You swallow the antidote hastily and the empty vial falls from your grasp. You feel suddenly overwhelmed and strangely bereft. Blindly, you reach for Tom, searching him out for contact and comfort and reassurance.

“I… Was that okay?” You ask unable to hide your worry that you’ve somehow let him down. Tom immediately moves to wrap you in his arms, dropping a soft kiss to the top of your head.

He tilts your head to face him and his eyes search yours, a small frown marring his forehead. “Darling, you were perfect,” He murmurs, seemingly understanding implicitly what you’re really asking. He tucks you closer and presses his lips to your cheek. Considering what you’ve just been doing, it’s all very chaste. “Come here, let me look after you.”

Feeling slightly more relaxed, you bury your head against his chest and allow him to do just that.

A/N: So this is a companion piece to Tender We Lay Bound. Obviously, you don’t need to read that for this to make sense, but I wanted to explore the power dynamics that would lead to the aftercare in that fic. I wanted to say here that the characters here trust and love each other, but this is honestly pretty bad BDSM etiquette and a seriously under-negotiated kink and scene. Obvs, this is fiction, so whatever, they’re all good and happy, but all kinks should be negotiated and discussed and all scenes should be planned and talked about by all parties involved. I hope you enjoyed and I just wanted to add this because ya know, it's important!

#tom riddle #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle x oc #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle x you #tom riddle fanfic #tom riddle imagine #tom riddle imagines #tom riddle fic #minific #harry potter #tom riddle fanfiction #tom riddle smut #tumblr fic

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