#'but people will think I'm weird' people will think you're AWESOME and only wish they had your courage | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moodymisty · 4 months

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A kinda funny anecdote: I asked my husband who he thinks tumblr girlies would like to fuck and he sighed and said Sanguinius or Magnus.

But he wished people would thirst over Jaghatai Khan more, since he's actually a good man, playing up a mysterious façade but actually being a loyal and intelligent man, a family man even, as he is from a culture that values family. Only thing faster than his sword is his wit.

So, if you please, I would love to see the Great Khan whisk away the reader, on his bike or horse, just something a bit romantic if you feel like it <3

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's Note: YES! JAGHATAI TIME! I'm so glad someone requested him! He's really an awesome Primarch and one of my favorites, I would totally paint some if that didn't mean I had to paint white. It's sad how often people forget to mention White Scars when mentioning kinder space marines, they're awesome. Hope you enjoy.

Summary: Khan realizes he's in love not when he sees your beauty or your skills, but when he sees you in the mud with the horses.

Relationships: Jaghatai Khan/Gn!Reader

Warnings: None, Though I had a bit of trouble forming this one in a way I was happy with, so apologies if it reads a bit weird? It's also my first time writing Jaghatai

Word Count: 1143

While Jaghatai would be wrong to say this would be the oddest sight he's seen in his already long existence, perhaps it's up there.

"There you are."

His voice travels easily over the sound of the wind raking the tall grass, blowing fabric and hair along with it.

Sitting cross legged in the grass of a massive rolling field is where he found you, playing with the snout of a horse that has lazily laid on his legs to be at a similar height to you. He blows air through his lips, making an odd whinny at you when you turn and stop giving the stallion your full attention. You catch Jaghatai's eyes for a moment before looking away, a bit contrite.

"Apologies," You say, and he can hear the title Lord Primarch on your lips. You stifle it now, as he finds it far less palatable than his others.

"Do you have need of me?" You move to get up, but the Primarch gives a response before you're able. Jaghatai's mouth quirks up ever so slightly to one side, watching the horse attempt to get purchase on your clothing with his lips while you aren't looking at him.

"No. I was only curious where you had managed to lose yourself this time. My captain was beginning to think we were down one remembrancer."

You don't directly answer him, but the way you glance over at him with a guilty smile is enough.

Your hand brushes along the stallion's cheek, the thick fur of his growing winter coat raking through your fingers. The nights are getting colder, and the baseline humans that serve the massive, overheated Astartes find themself bundling pelts and fabrics tighter, skin burned from cold wind.

Jaghatai can hear you now whispering to the horse under your breath, even as the cold air whips across the barren, grass covered field. He can see the plume of smoke from another camp far in the distance.

They aren't hostile, but he never allows himself the sheer foolishness of assuming they will remain that way. Especially since they're carrying with them valuable cargo this time; Remembrancers and Navigators, and other such. Humans that would be an easy and worthwhile target, if they were ever so foolish enough to do so with a Primarch so close.

He gestures to the horse who's snout you gently rub, feeling the soft, tiny hairs on the stallion's upper lip. What a rare moment of relaxation you've gotten with no overseers looming over you as they would on Terra. How interesting that it seems the Astartes of the White Scars are less rigid than your old Imperium higher ups.

"I am surprised he's letting you do this. The last man that got close, he killed."

You look up at him as if he's telling a sort of terrible joke- then you realize that he is dead serious, as much as that soft, ever so slight upturn of the corners of his mouth might say otherwise. The Horses of Chogoris have always been so untenably wild, perhaps you shouldn't be surprised.

"I'm no stranger to that sort of thing, nowadays." He finds it amusing that you don't seem to state it negatively. "Going from Terra to Chogoris has been quite the adjustment."

The horse's tail whips sharply once, before settling again. You continue playing with him, occasionally looking to the Khan as he stays in silence. It's peaceful, far more peaceful than he's had in a long while, and the moment allows Jaghatai to finally piece together what has been gnawing at him since you'd entered his life. To think that was so long ago now, at least in the timeline of a mortal.

His eyes watch over you, your gentleness as you treat the stallion in the same, abit foolhardly way of kindness he's seen from you before. For someone who has seen more than their fair share of things that would make other mortals crumble, you seem to take it all in stride.

Perhaps its why you've managed to fit in so well. His men much prefer your attitude to the few other pompous, stiff Imperium operatives they've had the misfortune of being in the presence of. It may not be often, but more than once has he caught one of his captains rolling their eyes.

But now he finally understands what that feeling was that had dug it's nails into him; The one that had been heavy in his chest and on his mind. The one that had his mind drift to you in moments of slowness.

He is in love with you. Or perhaps more accurately, he's striding down the path closer to it. Each step he takes, each time he speaks with you, he makes his way closer and closer.

He enjoys the way you look at him, speak to him without so much formality, the way you treat the galaxy like it's full of wonders instead of horrors. You know in reality it is, but you once joked it's better to simply keep moving than to sit in the corner and weep. Perhaps that was the moment that this all started.

A part of him knows that something like this is only going to bring problems. To entangle this with a labyrinthine crusade of Astartes, of other Primarchs.

But in the end, he doesn't care.

The Primarchs were doomed to this feeling of being separated from humanity- their own internal humanity- by a pane of glass; So close and able to watch, but not truly feel. Even with how much they mimic, the Primarchs all feel a distinct emptiness within them from how cast away they are from those who they share species with.

To have a chance to maybe feel love, to actually feel truly human for the first time in his life, he isn't going to pass it by. Perhaps it's selfish, but he has little care. He is going to live his life the way he wishes any he will deal with the difficulties as they come.

Jaghatai Khan can easily vault the fence with zero effort, given his height. In doing so, he steps close to you, and the massive horse raises his head and begins to rise to his hooves, no longer allowed to slack off. He roughly gestures with his hand for you to rise.

"Up. I'll show you how to ride him."

You get up on your feet, and look up at him. He looks down at watches the light of the brightest moon of the month reflect on your skin. There's the faint smell of smoke in the air from the fires, and that stinging scent of cold air. You easily climb up onto the horse's bare back, Jaghatai even then still taller.

"Perhaps if you can tame him just enough, he can be yours."

#jaghatai khan x reader #warhammer 40k x reader #primarch x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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bonefall · 7 months

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How many Nightheart fans r former gifted kids and/or kids with mental disorders? I'm one, apparently you're one too, I think he's just nd coded

My Conspiracy Theory (tm) is that the writers didn't want to ACTUALLY portray a character who was trans/ND because they are cowards and fiends, but peppered in a bunch of lines of dialogue associated with it to draw in a certain crowd (me)

Like Nightheart fawning over Nightcloud, the constant self-doubt, "I see you, Nightheart."

But also, that assumes waaay more competence than they seem capable of. They can't even get details right between books in the same arc. Just a weird hunch I have-- and I'm keeping my eye out for an authorial statement that retroactively leans into it.

(which, if they have any brains at all, they will NOT do. The only thing worse than baiting is bait you're proud of.)

Anyway yeah, I think with Adamant Nightheart Likers... you kinda have two camps;

Contrarians: Unfortunately they do exist. They will hear any criticism of the books and double down on how it's actually divine inspiration. These people will write screeds on how Bumble had to die and are probably reading a different book that I've never heard of

"I Like The Concept" (the camp I'm in): Something's relatable about his anger issues. It's nice to see a character not just grappling with the legacy of Firestar, but actively rejecting it. We like him BECAUSE he's unreasonable. We LIKE the idea of a furious cringefail idiot who is the source of his own problems, people who snap back at him and then he believes he's the victim, and the thought that he'd either get worse or get better. There's a cool idea here.

Unfortunately, we're on book 3 as I write and it's obvious they aren't going in the direction books 1 and 2 seemed to be. Nightheart's arc with his mother, Sparkpelt, seems to have ended without meaningful self-reflection on Nightheart's part.

The wider narrative (as of book 3; there's still time to turn around) seems to be leaning towards the conclusion that Nightheart just needed to realize "his family loves him" and Sparkpelt has to be sorry for "not seeing him." They don't seem to see him as the problem in his relationships, which is disappointing

(Moonkitti's video, Not Orange, is a very fair critique)

But that said, like I went over, there's a lot that's really relatable about him as someone who had anger issues as a kid lmao. I REALLY love the idea of his sister who's every bit as awesome as he is cringe and that burning him a new one. I feel super bad for Sparkpelt and I love the angst potential of seeing her husband when she looks at him.

I love Squilf, I love Lilyheart. I love the way the only person Nightheart trusts is the only person who's never said no to him, and how Bramblestar can take advantage of that.

I wish his relationship with Sunbeam exploded and he brought out her worst qualities. I wish he had to grapple with the idea that he can't just "run away" from his problems in ThunderClan, because HE is the source of them. His situation is not like Dovewing's. He is the tar pit.

IDK MAN I just really like the stinky little nasty man. I like watching him get tangled up in his own web of self-pity, raising a superiority complex AND an inferiority complex at the same time. I want him to get better. I want him to be worse. I like to see what he does.

#Nightheart #warrior cats analysis #I'm excited to get to him when ASC ends and I start rewriting it #I'm going to enjoy writing him. I really like characters like this.#(guy who enjoys bojack) its like that one scene in bojack--#The tar pit thing <3

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bloggingboutburgers · 8 months

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Heyyyyy, got a question if you don't mind

I'm aroace. The problem (I think) is that I'm not visibly aroace (can one even be visibly aroace?) and I'm also quite antisocial in general.

It's not that I'm hiding it (I can (I think) casually mention it when relevant) or that I'm in the closet, I just don't really feel the need to change my appearance due to it. If that makes sense

Anyway, now for the (I suppose) controversial bit.

Due to not being "visibly" queer, I don't face (I think at least) the using discrimination (or whatever you call it).

And due to that I sometimes (quite often) don't feel like I'm "actually" queer/aroace.

And yes, I know that it super fucked up to "want" (not the right word, but I'm not English. Just to clarify in case it's not obvious, I do not actual want that) to face the challenges other people do.

Any advice for this?

(extra appreciated if the advice doesn't include going out and/or meeting people, it that's just wishful thinking)

Hey! OK, I hope I don't ruin anyone's day (including yours) or say anything that might be harmful to anyone, as always I'm not gospel and can only speak from my own experience...

...But long story short, honestly, if you don't feel discriminated against, and don't suffer from it on a day to day basis... That's awesome!! And... I feel weird having to say this, but I don't think suffering discrimination should be a requirement for being queer, should it? I mean, that's literally our goal, as queer people, to end discrimination against ourselves, so if this is a demonstration that we're getting closer to that, that's awesome, honestly!

...But yeah. I mean... I hope it's not a stretch to say, but I can imagine there's quite a few queer people out there (not just aroaces) who have had the luck in their life never to be discriminated against, and I hope that continues for them, because... Yeah, that's the goal!

Being queer isn't about that, I don't think. I think first and foremost what defines you as queer is that you deviate from the hetero norm that is viewed as the "default" in society. And I've said that before and I'll say it again, because it might be even harder to actually integrate as an aroace (there's so much external pressure from in and out of the queer community, and yeah, like you said, it's hard to be visible when your orientation revolves around the ABSENCE of something), but you don't have to prove anything to anyone. If you feel you're aroace, then you are. It oughta be that simple most times.

Plus... Not feeling discriminated against at one point in your life sadly doesn't mean that won't happen later down the line. When I discovered myself as aroace as a teen, I didn't really feel my orientation gave me many problems, other than having zero resources at the time to figure out what I was even existed, and being mistaken for gay and facing the occasional homophobia because I didn't date boys. But after a while, after getting into adulthood and being dismissed a couple too many times when I mention my orientation, after the lack of rep getting to me at times (though hey, there IS rep, which I didn't even think I'd see in my lifetime), or after people decide you're old enough to ask you when you're gonna get married too many times for comfort (why do people even do that?), it kinda stuck with me to the point where I wanted to vent in comics. I don't have much to complain about in my life at all! Thankfully the laws in my country or the society I live in can't FORCE me to follow a hetero pattern, so the worst I get is systemic stuff and micro-aggressions, so yeah, I have it good. It's just an itch on a day-to-day. But yeah, made me wanna talk about it sometimes I guess.

But yeah! My bottomline would be: you're in a good situation, from what I understand, and that's great. I hope for you that it lasts. And you shouldn't feel guilty or less valid as an aroace or as a queer person for it. Your experience and your identity are what they are and no one can define your identity but yourself. I know saying "don't feel guilty" or "feel more valid" is easier said than done, but I hope that helps, anyway TwT

#softandwigglybones #aroace #aromantic #asexual

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tobiasdrake · 2 months

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One down, two to find. Let's see what else we can poke.

...that....

...that feels like an awfully big thing to ask of me. I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of a commitment.

...

I am so intimidated by this pretty flower right now. Um? UMMMM!?

HERE TEAM LEADER YOU ARE AN AWESOME TEAM LEADER PLEASE TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME AND DON'T READ ANYTHING INTO THIS.

I AM NOT QUALIFIED TO TAKE ON SUCH A HEAVY RESPONSIBILITY AS THIS.

GREAT. DO THAT. AND LET US NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN GOODBYE.

Felt tho.

This sign perfectly encapsulates my feelings for the intense Flower Mission I just had to undergo.

There they are. Hey there, Bon-bon, what's on your mind?

Whoa! Hostile. Guess you're not holding up so well, huh?

Yep, that explains the dourness.

Look, Bonnie, I'm not going to give you some platitudes about embracing Change even when it hurts or whatever. That's Mira's job. I think. I still don't fully understand the particular creeds of our religion.

What I am going to tell you is that you aren't wrong for feeling it. These feelings you're experiencing are entirely valid. I want you to open yourself up and let yourself process them.

Carry them with you. And then, tomorrow, I want you to take those feelings and turn them into violence. I'm not going to tell you that it will be okay. I'm going to tell you that the hurricane of violence we unleash tomorrow is how we make it okay.

This is a child terrified for an imperiled loved one. I don't know why I even asked. They obviously have only one thing on their mind right now.

Yep. Hostile. Okay, so my takeaway from this conversation is that Bonnie is going through a lot and seems nice enough to the people they like, but absolutely hates my guts for some reason.

Okay, one left. That just leaves the Favor Tree.

HEY THERE BIZZA-ZISS... Busy....

Hey Isa, how's your favor coming along?

If you can't think of a favor to ask, you could ask it for some kind of imprint of the tree itself that you can take with you. Then you'll always be able to remember how cool it is.

...

OOH OOH, I should ask the Favor Tree for little statuettes of my face that I can hand out to people. Same reason.

Oh. It doesn't grant wishes or anything? That's disappointing.

Hold on, let me jot this down in my Pocket Notes. "Followers of Change pray to large nearby flora instead of their deity." Got it. I am suddenly much less enthused about the Favor Tree.

Sure, that passes muster. Cool. Cool-cool-cool.

Honestly, I've heard worse superstitions. Even if it doesn't work, offering prayers to a nearby tree is pretty harmless. I'm not going to be mean about it.

Honestly, you should. Your whole aesthetic is working for you. I particularly like the way your earrings hang down low enough to reach the rise of your turtleneck collar to create the impression of a smooth continuation.

The matching nail polish helps, too. I realize we're very limited in our available color palettes but you've got just the right amount of contrast to bring the whole look together. I think you're going to go far.

Oh, we have a habit of doing this? Cool, that makes me feel much more comfortable with it. Don't know why Croc Lady made a fuss if Isa and I are already used to being bunkmates. Maybe she's weirded out by platonic male intimacy.

Hang on a second, let me jot that down on her Pocket Note.

"Possibly Toxic???"

There we go. All set.

#in stars and time #drake plays in stars and time

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makingspiritualityreal · 3 months

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Lessons from my Anime Phase

Many years ago, before I matured into my spiritual journey, this used to be an anime blog. I don't regret this phase of my life, even though I completely outgrew it, because I believe it taught me something important.

The content of a creation is more important than the form. There is anime (sadly not as many as you would think) that is a good piece of art. There are regular movies that suck. These years taught me to look deep beyond the surface form and into the meaning of any creation. I'm still waiting for a movie as good at depicting the power of wishful thinking and self repression as Perfect Blue.

Supressing one's emotions leads to serious repercussions. One of the reasons some people find anime so weird is because it is literally an outlet for the collective mentality and emotionality of Japanese societal pressure. It feels exaggerated, but it is a reaction to the external forced numbness and politeness the Japanese society is plagued with. If you don't deal with how you feel regularly and don't express it and process it, if you don't make friends with your demons, you keep bubbling like a cauldron. It leads to having a very edgy, very draining life, not being present with yourself. It leads to not being able to function and ultimately making simple things feel like the end of the world.

Getting older is awesome. I would never come back to my past. Every morning felt like torture. Sometimes, even if life is never perfect, it moves you on in simpler ways that allow for balance. Establishment of healthy routines does wonders for mental peace. The Universe putting you in an environment where you can do that, after years of having that taken away from you, feels blissful. With time comes perspective and you can see your life shaping up and taking you somewhere. That allows you to approach the rest of your life with the same philosophy. I can read this post another 10 years into the future, and think wow, my life got even better. But at least now I am relaxed about it and don't overthink how every tiny little thing can go and I don't try to control or micromanage the future.

Youth is overrated. Hottness is overrated. Very few people really get to enjoy being young and hot, and those that do, are probably on Youtube's most watched list now. Being young and hot only pays off if you happen to be an artist, you're in a good film, or you're lucky enough to be in a music video. With those things, you build a legacy you will have forever. But most young women spend their youth and beauty on dating guys they wish they could forget in their 30s. At least I can say I spent it on spiritual growth, which I am really proud of. I was younger and "hotter" once, but paradoxically I feel like I'm becoming more beautiful. I had absolutely no benefits from being young and hot. I had no good relationships and everyone irl always criticized me for breathing. I never felt attractive. My highlights were compliments from my online friends, because noone around me actually thought well of me in my physical life. I'm married now, but this is my first serious adult relationship. I didn't have any good relationships that really appreciated my looks back then. So whatever has passed, hasn't really been used anyway. I was very insecure because I lived surrounded by unfair criticism from many people, who should have been supporting me but betrayed me. Maybe some people have fun in their youth, I honestly didn't. Moving away from all the people that made my youth something I'm glad to put behind me was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Being different growing up is hell for everybody, no matter what form it takes. Being an outcast is probably the number one debilitating thing that makes youth difficult. You have no role models, you have no support, you endure extra pressure. But over time, even those that are different end up finding their place, and they realise they were just different to people around them in their early environment, but they're not that different from the rest of the world.

#spiritual journey #spiritual growth #spirituality #spiritual awakening #personal

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the-6th-harbringer · 4 months

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PLEASE READ

Hey. So. It's been a. while.

trigger warning: referenced suicide

So, if you haven't noticed, I literally evaporated for two weeks straight without any clarification on why or sign of actually being alive, unlike my last two week disappearance. Unfortunately, this unexpected evaporation does not come with a big "ooh more trauma more lore and angst for scara" thing.

This just happens to be my goodbye post.

I know, it's weird and kind of rude for me to dip for two weeks and then reappear like "hey fuckers im QUITTING hAHaA". Buuuut not only was my dad being annoying and hogging my laptop, I also barely have had time to myself for the past weeks. New family members have been introduced into my life, so now I have double the amount of little siblings to look after. (from 3 to 6. dont ask "how" thats a personal thing). juggling that with school, social stuff, fucking exams which are coming up in 3 months of my gOD, and other even more personal demons that I've been battling, its been. a lot.

SO, to make sure I do not pull the same move as Scaramouche did on the last day of his sakurarealm torture(iykyk), I'm taking a leave from tumblr. Don't know how long I'll be gone, don't know if I'll ever be back, but I didn't just wanna quit without at least telling you guys so you don't think I've been murdered or something.

On a more serious note, thank you all for all of the support and love you've given Scara and all my other blogs. While some of you are a handful, the majority of you are actually the sweetest and silliest community of people I've ever known. I hope you all have excellent lives.

Now, as for what happens to Scara, we're shoving him in another coma. which is entirely at the mercy of Wanderer's mod, because they're my friend outside of tumblr too and i trust that they'll use this as a major angst moment. Put an F for Cyrille and Scara guys

NOW: a few honorable mentions and thank yous:

@wandering-hat-guy : im not writing a goodbye type thing for you because i will literally talk to you tomorrow, but thank you for being an awesome brother-sibling figure. you are the wanderer to my scara :]

@an-active-rabbit : Thank you for being an extremely fun person to rp with. The puppets and the heart is a rp that wont leave my mind for a while yet. Many hugs for you! And I wont be forgetting Mikaven anytime soon >:3

@cyrille-leclair-de-fontaine : AUGH budddyyy im sorry to do this to you. But thank you for creating Cyrille in the first place. Cyscara my beloveds, they will always hold a place in my heart. Maybe one day they'll actually get somewhere. Im also willing to be your friend outside of tumblr if you wish because you're cool >:D

@dishonxsty : For also being a goofy little goober. My favorite rp with you was definitely the ouppy's and scara, and also kudos to you for making like 17 bajillion blogs and being able to manage them all at once somehow like???? go king go

Annnd @monsieur-neuvillette , who seems random because I havent rped with them in literally a century, but thank you for being the one to indirectly help me get over my fears of starting a rp blog AND being the inspo for me to start rping on tumblr in the first place. hugs for you too

Well, alls said that's been said, so I think I'll just end it off here, because it's been like 10 minutes since I started typing this and I am eepy.

Goodbye everyone except wandermod, and thank you for sticking with me through Scara's really out of pocket journey.

(PS: Rest in peace @the-tainted-blossom . I miss you everyday.)

#scara kinnie moment #i should probs reblog this to my other blogs acctually #yeah lemme do that

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jq37 · 1 year

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I'm really glad you've seen Starstruck, because it means you have the context for this. Every disastrous decision made this episode, were THOSE the stupidest things these people have ever done? I thought 'my farts smell awesome' was the lowest they could go, but look at that, they collectively found another layer beneath that. This has to be the biggest L the Intrepid Heroes ever took. Outside of a TPK, losing a Mcguffin is as rough as it gets. The RNG giveth and the RNG taketh away.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK, now that I have that out of the way, holy hell that last episode took a full year off my lifespan I think. Murph saying that it was like Fabian's Bad Day on a loop was right. I've never watched an episode of a ttrpg and thought, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" so consistently. Even after watching the Adventuring Party I'm not 100% confident I understand what some of those moves were about. I am going to try and break down by thoughts on each interaction, roughly in order from least to most baffling to me.

*Red and the Beast*

If this was as crazy as things went, it would have been a pretty normal episode. I fully understand why Ylfa would want to talk to the Beast being a monstruous princess and all. And Emily's side-motivation of wanting to maybe get some potions that would help them travel without freezing to death made sense as well. Sure it was a little awkward, but in the way that all pre-teens are sort of awkward around people who they think are cool. She didn't spill any serious beans or burn any serious bridges. This one gets a pass from me.

*Ger and Elody*

It probably feels like I'm ranking this pretty low. And I am if we're talking in pure terms of cause and effect. Because loudly and weirdly spilling the beans the way that he did was a TERRIBLE move tactically and DEF alerted the princesses to their plan. BUT I wasn't CONFUSED about why it happened. Ger had a thing to do that made sense--find out if his wife was in on the erase everything plan and fill her in if not/try to convince her to switch sides if so. He had a reason to get frustrated and do something stupid. This was, in my eyes, a good plan that went poorly because of bad dice rolls and Murph's commitment to character. So while it was VERY unfortunate, I'm not actually confused about why the desperate frog man who is known for being awkward was weird and awkward to his wife in a dire situation so it didn't really frustrate me in the same way that some of the other scenes did. We also got one of one only pieces of new information in this episode--that it doesn't seem like Elody is in on the plan (though with his trash Insight rolls, who even knows). I wish he'd taken Roz with him to back up his story right away (and give him advantage of dice rolls). I also wish he'd brought Roz with him so she wasn't able to do her own solo mission. Speaking of...

*Roz and Snow*

This is not a conversation that needed to happen tactically. I was like, why is this going on? Just because everyone is having a little chat doesn't mean you have to have a little chat too. I will admit that by the time I got here, I was feeling so much second hand cringe that I missed a bit of the conversation. But I do know that Roz told Snow that she told the entire group about their chat and that they were fine with it. WHY TELL HER THAT??? The plan was clearly told to Roz with the understanding that it was for her ears only. Why immediately be like, "So I talked it over with the squad..." You're showing your hand! You're telling Snow you're not really aligned with the Daughter's of the Crown. If you were going to talk to Snow, why not try to figure out what the actual plans are wrt the erase the world endgame? They really don't know anything about the specifics of the plan. Just some nebulous talk about spilling ink. Why is no one asking questions about this? How are they supposed to stop a plan they don't understand? Anyway, I think this conversation didn't need to happen and while it wasn't as disastrous in effect as Ger's convo, his had a good reason for happening while I don't think this one did which is why it frustrated me more.

*Pinnochio and Cindy*

OK so this one frustrated me a TON because it had so much potential for getting information and moving the story forward but that's not what happened at all! As a sidenote, I was surprised but excited when they showed up at the castle and the Snow Queen fight was already over offscreen because I was like, "Man! We're going to get so much good information next episode!" Haha, nope! This conversation started off really strong with Pinnochio saying that they're kinda step-sibs which I thought was a great opener and something I hadn't really considered. I thought he was going to maybe bring up how the stepmother's goal seems to be fucking with stories (in a similar way to what they want) and seeing how she reacts. Or maybe following the thread about how she ALSO feels like she doesn't have agency in her story because she's a puppet of a narrative without even a name. And I don't want to assume but seems like Brennan was giving him the opening to go there like when Cindy was talking about "her own story" and Pinnochio was like, "She doesn't have one" Cindy seemed willing to talk down that thread but it was dropped really quickly. And this whole conversation had such a dissonant vibe where it was like Cindy was in Crown of Candy and Pinnochio was in Fantasy High or even Starstruck in terms of seriousness. Which, from a comedy standpoint, was extremely funny but from a narrative standpoint was like, Pinnochio...I'm begging you...please...ask her one direct question. Lou said he was playing up Pinnochio's childishness because he's a child in a weird situation which, sure I guess. But man. It was a very funny scene but not very narratively fulfilling.

*Pib and Cindy and a Window*

Pib readying the horses? The most competent move of the session! Pib unilaterally deciding to try to push her into her book? Why???? Like, OK. I wouldn't have told her about the book if I was Pinnochio--at least not without consulting the group. BUT once the proverbial cat was out of the book, why not let her have it? It might give her some perspective she doesn't already have and you might be able to sway her into being an ally. I feel like Cindy and Snow while true believers in the plan, aren't beyond reason. They don't strike me as gung ho about the entire situation. They give me the energy of people who are exhausted and on their last resort. I honestly feel like there is a world where this is all salvageable if they'd let her have her book without going full hostile. Maybe it's not the most LIKELY option. But I think there was a chance. But nope. Initiative. Even if they'd gotten her in, what's the next move? You're in a palace full of her allies and none of you have rolled more than a ten all session! Were you going to hold her hostage and run? Like, bruh. If they wanted to leave, they should have just left! Why did they make a whole production about it? I swear, they stayed in the castle the exact worse length of time. Not long enough to get any info, but too long to leave gracefully. Anyway, I thought this was a wild decision to just make.

*Princess Interlude*

This isn't a part of the breakdown. This is just something I wanted to talk about. We really don't know how much the princesses know about The Situation and that's a big piece of the puzzle for us to know how BAD of a plan this is with the info they have. Because one of the few things we learned this episode is that Cinderella is surprised that the Stepmother doesn't have her own book. If they think that each person has their own book and they can write themselves out of existence without it affecting anyone else then this is actually a suicide pact and not a murder-suicide pact which still isn't GREAT but it's not WORLD ENDING which is decidedly less selfish. I still think it's an insane thing to try without having a full understanding of their world but if you're only playing with your OWN lives, then that's your right.

And wrt to the PCs, since they were spilling the beans left and right, why not be like, cool. Ink spilling. Great plan. Now what about the Auroratory? Because their stories don't just exist in ink. They're oral tradition, baby. I'm sorry you don't like your lives but ink spilling isn't going to solve everything.

Finally, I need to go back to past episodes where the princesses are lamenting to be sure, but I'm honestly not 100% sure what it is they're so distressed about. There is an element of fighting for free will but I'm not sure what it is they think they don't have control over. Because surely if they had no free will, they wouldn't be able to fight their stories at all, right? And if it's just that they're stuck with all their memories from all their lives, Witches do that all the time, right? Can they just not handle the Everything, Everywhere, All At Once lifestyle because they're not inherently magical and they're cracking under the pressure? From what I remember from the previous episode, it sounded like Cindy and Snow were distressed over the *existence* of dark versions of their story which is why they wanted to destroy everything completely. But also, isn't darkness just a thing you have to accept if you're going to have free will? And also, I don't know that it makes sense to destroy the entire world just because there are timelines where bad things happen (especially when the worst things don't even happen to them). Who awakened these princesses in the first place? Based on the introductions, we're led to believe it's Cindy and Snow who were the first ones, but now that we've met Rapunzel, I have my doubts. And speaking of her, back to the list.

*Tim and Raps*

Tim what were you THINKING?????????

God, where to begin. Ally said they weren't sure if Raps was in on it or not two APs in a row which is baffling to me because I thought Brennan telegraphed it pretty hard that Raps was both very clever and very fake. We first hear about her trying to deceive the Baba Yaga (one of the SCARIEST NPCs who even DEATH doesn't fuck with) and getting away with her tongue intact. Then, on a really high insight check, the party learns nothing about her, except that she's so shiny you can't really read her. Suspicious as hell. THEN, we learn that she has hair that's everywhere that can potentially be used to spy on people. And when she describes murdering the Snow Queen, she says it in the most politician-y, obfuscate-y, side-stepping culpability way possible. YEAH. I THINK SHE'S IN ON IT. I am floored that it wasn't obvious that she was full team nuke everything. The twist to me would be if she was secretly GOOD. I was wondering if the was the actual mastermind, I didn't even realize we were discussing whether she was IN ON IT.

But like, OK. That aside. Whether you are going in thinking she's good and misled or fully in on it, THIS WAS AN INSANE WAY TO HANDLE IT.

DIRT IN THE SHORTBREAD???? TIM!!!!!!

If she's GOOD and just awkward from how she was socialized you're being weird and aggro to her.

If she'd BAD and being manipulative you're being super clumsy and antagonizing her.

AND THEN SHE STOLE THE BOOOK!!!!!!!

My heart SUNK when Brennan revealed that. Like, GOD I didn't think that could have gotten worse and then it did.

And it's made worse because this is 100% a conversation that didn't need to happen. If I walked in and Raps was there, at most I would ask her about how her hair worked so we maybe knew for tactical reasons. That's not a crazy question to ask a person with magic hair that's everywhere so she wouldn't necessarily have a reason to be suspicious. And then guess what? I'm GONE. Just, based on second hand embarrassment and mechanical effect (LOSING THE BOOK), this is by far the worst conversation all episode and that's saying something.

(Also, RIP Mira who's going to wake up to a VERY different situation than when she went to sleep.)

The last thing I want to say about this episode is I kind wish that either Roz or Ger or both had died in their rescue plan. Not as a punishment mind you. While it was a tactically bad move, I think it's totally in character that Ger would have tried to go back for his wife and that one of his friends would have joined him. But we haven't had that many deaths this season and I feel like some more death exposition might give us more about what's going on. Because I feel like we only have a small piece of the puzzle, and there's not that many eps left to go. You know how in Stranger Things, the plot always ends up split between three groups and none of them actually know what's going on until they all communicate in the penultimate episode? That's how I feel right now except it's the PCs, The Princesses, The Faries, and the Librarians.

It's also potentially illuminating for Elody if the princesses are willing to kill Roz and Ger (I assume they'd bring back at least Roz). And if they were split up from the main party, that's an interesting place for them to be story-wise. (Also, if they brought back Ger but were like Elody he's in the dungeon, don't talk to him he'll fill your head with lies. But she visits him anyway, just like when he was a frog at the pond...but I'm just writing mental fanfic now.) My point is there was potential there for us to get interesting info (and story beats) there which is why I was kind of rooting for it. This whole episode was a big bust with regard to moving towards any sort of goal and they really just made their situation severely worse to no real end. And now the princesses who want to end the world have the most powerful device in all of story.

Yay.

(Coda: Where is Scher with her "We're real enough" energy to talk the princesses out of their spiral? For the love of story, I am losing my mind here.)

#dimension 20 spoilers #dimension 20 #neverafter #neverafter spoilers #d20 #d20 spoilers #asks #farmer 10 #this turned into a whole ass essay #did not mean for that to happen #for the record I'm not mad at the players or wagging my finger at them or anything like that #i've done my fair share of dumb shit in dnd #ask any of my partymates and they will tell on me #I'm just looking at it from the POV of wow they did not go how they planned #i can't resist a good dissection #i do not know how they're going to solve this #they mentioned the baba yaga but I don't think they can handle her lol #scher would be a better option if they could reach her #or maybe they could do an enemy of my enemy with the fairies?#we'll see #'my farts smell awesome' is one of the funniest things that happened in d20 #i would take ten of those over one of these any day

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burgundybmw · 2 years

Text

Munson's Mixtape

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Cunningham!Reader

Word Count: 3,983

Warnings: Funeral, Satanic Panic, Mentions of ED (Chrissy), Mentions of death, Mentions of shitty parenting.

Summary: Chrissy has been acting weird, and like a good big sister Y/N drives to Hawkins from Notre Dame to check in on her. Only to find out she has plans to meet up with Eddie Munson. Things take a turn for the worse and now Y/N gets wrapped in to the horrors of Hawkins. Hey, at least she has the company of the guitarist she was sweet on back in high school for comfort.

Author’s Note: Hello everyone! I am back with an update. I was on vacation in Salem (which was awesome) and finally finished this chapter. It has fluff, intimacy, angst, and finally some relief. I hope you enjoy it! If I feel ambitious there might be a double post today. So stay tuned for that!

Track Ten

Y/N watched the sunrise from her spot in the bed. Eddie had asked if she wanted to sleep inside last night, and she was too tired to try and argue with herself about why it was a bad idea. So now she was in bed with Eddie again, and she wished his presence alone was enough to comfort her.

Eddie tried to convince her to go the funeral last night, he said she might regret it later if she didn't go. Y/N didn't want to go alone. He almost said that her family would be there, but thought better of it. Eddie hated Vecna even more than he thought he could in that moment. One, he did this to Chrissy in the first place. Two, Eddie was on the lamb for this because the cops decided to point fingers at him rather than do any decent police work. So he couldn't go to Chrissy's funeral, he couldn't be there for Y/N as she watched her sister slowly descend into the Earth. He couldn't place a flower on her grave.

He told her to think it over, sleep on it, see how she felt in the morning. Now morning was here, and Y/N still didn't know what to do. The funeral would be in a few hours, and the decision whether to go was weighing heavy on her shoulders. If she left, would she be able to get back to Eddie without getting caught? Would Eddie be safe alone? Would the police take her into custody? Would her mother? She didn't know what was worse.

"Y/N..? What are you doing up." Eddie mumbled into the pillow, his fingers gently rubbing circles on the side of her hip. She looked down at the half conscious man next to her, how soft he looked. How could she justify leaving him to spend time with people she couldn't stand and put his life at risk?

"I'm thinking." Y/N held her knees in her arms, hunched over staring at the sun once again. The sky was slowly becoming brighter, the serene reds and purples fading into blue. A promise of the day ahead.

"Yea, I can hear you thinking from here..." Eddie sat up with her, trying to rub the leftover sleep from his eyes.

"Go back to bed Eds, I didn't mean to wake you up..." He held a hand up, stopping her thought.

"I should be up anyway. Now scoot over." Eddie shimmied his way so he was sitting behind her, his long legs stretched out on either side of her.

"What are you doing?" Eddie fluffed up some of the pillows and stacked them against the headboard. Once he was satisfied he leaned back.

"Just trust me. Now c'mere." He opened his arms up, inviting her in. Y/N sighed and leaned back into Eddie's chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on top of her shoulder, humming in content.

"You gonna tell me what you're battling with sweetheart?" He resumed his mindless circling on her hips. She wasn't sure if it was to comfort her or himself.

"I'm still not sure about the funeral Eds... It just sounds like a bad idea. There are so many ways things could go wrong, plus I feel like if I see my mother's face today I might actually go insane." He chuckled, and Y/N could feel the movement on her back. Eddie was alive. So very alive. She didn't know if she could handle being surrounded by death again.

"You could be right. It could be a mistake. Things could go horribly wrong if you leave-"

"You're really not making a case for yourself."

"Let me finish." Y/N huffed, sinking further into Eddie's grasp.

"Things could go wrong. Murphy's Law could unveil its chaos onto the land, but that wouldn't matter. It wouldn't change my mind. I still think you should go." Y/N looked up at him, but he was still looking at the sunrise through the window. The soft orange light cast a honeyed glow over his face, and his big brown eyes shined like polished amber. Everyone always talks about how beautiful blue eyes are, or the uniqueness of green and hazel eyes. Nobody talks about brown eyes. It’s a shame, because Eddie’s eyes are breathtaking.

“Why are you so hellbent on me going? Getting sick of me or something Munson?” Eddie’s soft touches turned firm, before he pulled her closer to him.

“I’d never get sick of you. Ever.” He said it like it was a promise.

“Then why?” It didn’t make any sense, why Eddie wanted her to go so badly, knowing the risks. He was quiet for a moment, thinking about how he should say the thing that’d been in the back of his mind since Chrissy died.

“Because you were so busy talking to me that’d you didn’t get to speak to Chrissy before she died. I don’t want you to lose your chance to say goodbye to her because of me too.” Y/N tried to turn to look at him, but Eddie wouldn't budge, his arms wrapped tightly around her. She wanted to see his face, to look him in the eye and tell him not to hold on to that. Neither of them knew what would happen that night in his trailer.

"Eddie..."

"Don't Eddie me sweetheart; I'm not trying to make you feel bad for me. I just.. I think you should go. Who cares about the cops, or the momster at home. This should just be about you and Chrissy, I'll be fine I promise." Y/N wished it were that simple. That Chrissy's funeral could just be a moment between her and her sister, but there were so many variables to consider.

"I still don't think it's a good idea..." He hummed, the mindless circling on her hips continued. If Eddie was being honest with himself, the last thing he wanted was for her to leave. He wanted to be selfish, keep her in this shitty house for the foreseeable future. Guard her, like how Smaug protected his precious treasure. But she wasn't a jewel, a piece of gold, or an object. He couldn't possess her, and he truly believed that she should allow herself closure. They could figure everything else out later.

"If it weren't for all of the monsters and mayhem, if it was just you going to your sister's funeral, would you go?" Eddie asked.

"Of course." Y/N didn't hesitate.

"Then that's your answer." Y/N couldn't argue with that. She sighed, and turned around to face Eddie, his grip loosening around her.

"You really think I should go?" It was hard to answer her. Y/N was looking at him as if he had all of the answers. He didn't want to disappoint her, because he didn't have them, despite how badly he wished he did.

"Look, I'm not going to tell you what to do. At the end of the day it's your choice, but I think this is something you shouldn't run away from." Eddie pulled the sleeve of his Black Sabbath shirt back on to her shoulder, it had slipped off during the night. Why was he trying to get her to leave again? When staying in bed with her looking like that was the greatest treasure Eddie had witnessed?

"I thought there was no shame in running?" Y/N smiled, she said it like it was an inside joke between them.

"You're using my own words against me, not fair Miss. Cunningham. Not fair at all." Eddie used his legs to swing her to the side so they were laying down again. He grabbed the old comforter on the bed covered them both with it, creating their own little bubble within the room. Y/N giggled at his antics, he always had a way of making a bad situation fun again.

"I think you're right... I should go. I'll leave for my parents house while they're gone and get ready. I'll be back as soon as I can." Eddie nodded, and pulled her close to him once again.

"Alright, but wait a little longer before you leave. Let me keep you for just a bit more." Y/N nodded, her faced buried in the crook of his neck. He had no idea that he already had her. Eddie could keep Y/N Cunningham forever, and she would treasure every second of it.

Eddie managed to find the keys to Rick's old hatchback, and Y/N left with a promise to return as soon as she could. Her dad had a walkie talkie that she could use to contact him once she got there, and she told him to call her immediately if something went wrong. As Y/N drove away from the lake house, it took everything in her to stay on route. She put Eddie's mixtape in the radio, and tried to let the sounds of Metallica bring her peace, but all it did was remind her of the man she left behind.

When Y/N got to her house, she noticed that her parents car wasn't in the driveway. The funeral was in half an hour, so she figured they left to prepare things before everyone got there. She went through her house on autopilot, ignoring Chrissy's bedroom door as she walked to her own. Y/N didn't think she would walk into that room ever again. She took a shower, washing away the cheap grooming products Rick had in his house, and tried to find something to wear.

Y/N had only been to two funerals in her life. One was for her grandfather who died when she was little, and the other was for Will Byers, before it turned out that he wasn't actually dead. Her parents didn't go, they didn't know the Byers family well. Her mother didn't like Joyce very much, said she was off, but Y/N liked Joyce. She used to babysit Will too.

It was many years go, back when she was a freshman. Her parents told her to get a job if she wanted spending money, they said it was to build character. So she babysat for some of the families in Hawkins. Joyce and her husband had just split up, so she was working a lot. She thought Jonathan was too young to watch his little brother, so she asked Y/N to do it. Joyce didn't pay much, but Y/N didn't mind it. She liked Will, he was always a good kid. He drew her pictures every time she came over, and Y/N kept a few of them. She stopped babysitting once Jonathan got older, but she'd still say hi whenever she saw him and his family in town. She was devastated when she found out he had died, and cried her eyes out at the funeral. Chrissy came with her, and held her hand as she watched the too small casket descend into the ground.

Chrissy wasn't here this time to hold her hand, and it was her casket that would be buried today. Y/N decided on a black collared dress for the funeral.

The church parking lot was packed, Y/N was running late. She got out of the car and slowly made her way to the building, a heavy weight in her chest. With every step she wanted to run. Run back to the boathouse, run back to Eddie, run away from here. But she wasn't doing this for herself, she was doing it for Chrissy. When she got the front doors she took a deep breath, and finally opened them.

Everyone inside the church was standing, singing some hymn that the priest was leading. Y/N snuck into the back pew so no one would notice her lateness, before everyone sat back down again. She could see her mothers curly blonde hair in the front row, her father's salt and pepper locks next to her. Y/N couldn't see their faces, and she was relieved that she had some time before she would.

The priest ushered her parents to the front of the room, her mother was about to give the eulogy. Her hair and makeup was done in the same way she does it everyday, not a single flaw on her face. She carried a tissue in her hand, but it was clear she hadn't shed a single tear that day. Did she cry when she found out that Chrissy was dead? Did she cry at all? Did she allow herself to crack that perfect porcelain exterior just once in her goddamn life? Y/N could feel the anger rising in her chest, but tried to snuff it out. It wasn't the time for anger.

"Thank you all for coming today, it's a pleasure to see all of your faces here to support our family." Our family. Y/N wasn't up there. She was hiding in the back of the room. Did she even bother calling Notre Dame? To tell her other daughter that Chrissy was dead? Dustin and his friends didn't hear any talk about her, so she had her doubts.

"Today we say goodbye to my darling beautiful Chrissy, a gentle soul God had welcomed into his arms way too soon." Darling. Beautiful. Gentle. All of those things were true yes, but that's not she used to say to them when Chrissy was still here. The irony that their mother finally praised her daughter once she was dead was not lost on Y/N.

"But it was not God who had taken my sweet Chrissy. It was something worse, something far more evil than the grace of God." What was she on about? This talk of good and evil? Y/N didn't understand, how could she stand there and talk about grace as if she were a good God fearing Christian woman, as if she wasn't a source of evil and darkness under her own roof.

"The devil is here. I can feel his presence... growing stronger each day." Y/N almost laughed. It was comical, how her mother talked of devils and demons. She had no fucking clue what was going on in Hawkins. How it was because of her that Chrissy was dead. How Vecna sunk his claws into her sister, all because of the torture their mother had put them through. The anger was smoldering in Y/N now, and she had zero intentions of putting the flame out.

"But I know Chrissy's in heaven now, looking down at us, smiling. Happy to see all of the lives she touched and brightened. But I also know she's frustrated. Angry." How dare she. How dare she speak for Chrissy like she knew her. Y/N had never seen her sister angry, not genuinely. Upset, hurt, annoyed, defeated, yes. But never angry. Chrissy had the patience of a saint, and Y/N was quickly losing hers.

"That the monster that did this to her is still out there. Still. Hurting others. How can he live, while my angel is gone?" Is she talking about Eddie? Does she think he did this to Chrissy? Does everyone in town think that? Fear, anger, guilt, sorrow, all rushed through Y/N. She wanted to scream. Scream like she did with Eddie in the boathouse. Scream at her mother, the police, everyone is Hawkins. Scream at fucking Vecna. Everyone.

"I know God has a plan... that I shouldn't question his omnipotent power, but it's so hard." The porcelain mask was finally cracking on her mother's face.

"Lord, I've prayed. And I just do not understand it. I see no reason. I see no reason." No reason. She was the reason. She was the reason for all of this. It was her fault. Hers.

"I just hope that Chrissy can rest soon, once that satanist is finally put behind bars. I hope I can see his face during trial, look that monster Eddie Munson in the eye and tell him I pray he burns in Hell for what he did to my daughter. I'll look at him as they issue his sentence, and beg to God that he gets the electric chair. Then I will know Chrissy will be at peace." That was it. Y/N wasn't going to sit here and listen to this nonsense anymore. She wasn't going to sit here and listen to her mother speak for her sister, listen to her talk about Eddie like that. Like he was a monster, when the only monster in that room was her.

"That's enough!" Y/N stood up from her seat in the back row, all eyes were on her now. Her mother and father's shocked faces staring at her.

"Y/N? Darling what is this? Where have you been?" Darling? Darling! She was never her mother's darling. Neither of them were.

"You have no clue what you're talking about! Not a single goddamn clue!" She could hear everyone in the room gasp, whispers filled the walls, but she didn't care.

"Y/N that is enough, come here right now. Stop it this instant." That look was familiar, not the grief stricken mother character she played before. It was so quick, the change in attitude. Fake. Fake as the porcelain mask she wore.

"No. No I am not going to stop. Not when you're standing there like Mother fucking Teresa talking about how the Devil went down to Hawkins." Y/N could feel the burn of hell fire flow within her veins, pure scorching rage.

"Y/N honey... please. For your Mother and I's sake." Her father looked so meek, standing there like a tower of paper cards that was on the brink of collapse. He could never stand up to his wife, but Y/N would. She would finally stand up to her. For Chrissy, for Eddie, for herself.

"For your sake? How can you even say that! What about your daughters' sake! How can you stand there and listen to her talk about Chrissy like she was mother of the fucking year? Like she wouldn't pound on the bathroom door screaming at us when we were anything less than perfect! How can you pretend that everything was fucking fine before Chrissy died when it was anything but!" The words were pouring out of her now. Everything that she had kept hidden, locked away deep inside of her, was erupting out of her like Mt. Vesuvius.

"Don't blame the devil for Chrissy's death! The only demon here is you! You who made Chrissy believe she was worthless! Fat! Ugly! Disgusting! You did that! You are the reason she was terrified of every ounce of food she put in her mouth! You are the reason she would rush to the toilet, shove her fingers down her throat, and purge everything in her stomach! You are the reason she nearly choked on her own bile when she was barely 14! You!" The silence that filled the room was deafening. Her mother's face went pale, she looked like the ghost of her previous self. Good. Y/N hoped she was scared to death. Scared like Chrissy was for days leading up to her demise.

"You didn't know Chrissy! Neither of you did! I knew her! I loved her! I was the one to comfort her when she was upset! I was the one who took care of her when she made herself sick! I was the one who sang her favorite song after her nightmares were too much for her! I was the one to praise her! To tell her she was enough. She was enough! She didn't have to change for anyone. Least of all you! She was perfect the way she was!" The tears were pouring down Y/N's face, she could feel them soak the collar of her funeral dress. She didn't care, these tears were justified. She was always terrified to cry in front of her mother, terrified that it would set her off, not anymore. That horrible debilitating fear was gone. Her mother didn't look so menacing now, she looked pathetic.

"You stand there posturing like you're a beacon of divine motherhood but you're not! How dare you cry about how much you loved Chrissy six feet away from her body! When it's all a lie! You are lying to your dead daughter, you are lying to the daughter you threatened to give away more times than I can count, you are lying to the people who came here today to mourn the beautiful person Chrissy was, you are lying to your husband, you are lying to yourself, and worst of all, you are lying in the house of God that you claim to love so much! The only person you have ever loved was yourself! You selfish, vindictive, nauseating banshee!" Y/N paused, her throat sore and raw from the confession she just gave. She slowly walked up to Chrissy's casket, covered in the most beautiful flowers their parents' money could buy. She got down on her knees, placed her forehead against the head of the coffin, and whispered the words only her sister deserved to hear.

"I'm sorry Chrissy. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you when you needed me. If I could turn back time I would have driven down to Hawkins the first night you called me crying, maybe then Vecna would have spared you. I promise that I'll destroy the monster that did this to you. I'll do it with my bare hands if I have to..." Y/N was nearly choking on her tears, but she knew she had to keep going. She had to get this out before Chrissy was buried six feet under. Before it was impossible to sit this close to her sister ever again.

"I miss you much I can barely breathe... I don't know how I'm going to live without you... but I'll try. As much as I want to see you again, I know I can't join you just yet. I just hope that one day when I'm old and gray, I'll fall asleep and wake up to see you waiting for me. I'll tell you everything that happened while you were gone. How we defeated Vecna, how I fell in love with Eddie, how I graduated from Notre Dame and bought that house we talked about. How I lived the life we both dreamed of. I'll do it for the both of us. I hope you can hear me Chrissy, I hope you can hear me say all of this... I have to go now, Eddie is waiting for me. I just want you to know that I love you, so fucking much... and, and this isn't goodbye. I'll see you again, I promise. I'll find you in your somewhere over the rainbow... Sweet dreams Chrissy." Y/N got up and wiped the tears from her face. She didn't look at her parents, didn't care to see the shock and horror on their faces. She didn't look at the other people in the church pews. She didn't look at any of them as she got into Rick's hatchback and drove away, back to her house one last time to change out of her wet funeral dress, pack up the rest of her belongings and leave.

Y/N vowed to never set foot in that house ever again after today. She would be cutting off her parents for good. The only thing left of her parents she'd use was the trust fund she was given when she turned 18, something they couldn't touch. After this whole mess was over she would go back to Notre Dame and start living life by her own rules. She was free. Free to be who she wanted, and be with who she wanted. After Vecna was dead, she would tell Eddie that she loved him. She would prove that he was innocent and maybe, if she was lucky, her loved could one day be returned.

Y/N just hoped that she wasn't too late.

Taglist:

@imchangkyunned , @creativedogs , @nightless , @kik51199 ,

@thecraziestcrayon , @dabzzallday420 , @science--hoes , @efvyqrs ,

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x cunningham!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #stranger things eddie munson #stranger things s4 #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanficton #stranger things fluff #stranger things angst

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olderthannetfic · 2 years

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Full disclaimer, I'm a monolingual American from a privileged background (though I suspect that much would be pretty obvious frim reading).

I think part of the reason Americans always act like everything should be translated not just to English, but to American English is because up until very recently, almost everything WAS "translated" for us.

We Americans are so babied about language & culture, it's embarrassing. The Harry Potter books had to be "translated" because apparently we couldn't be trusted to figure out that a jumper was a sweater. I heard about an author of a true crime book just last year complaining about how "mum" had to be changed to "mom" for US release.

Then there's the American idea of exceptionalism which shows up not just as "we're the best, why would you want anything else?" but also as "wow, how weird are you for liking something that's FOREIGN?" At least when I was growing up, if you watched or read stuff in any other European language you're a snob. If you like anything from Asia you're a weirdo. (Of course, during my formative years, I was implicitly taught that Africa and South America did not produce any media worth consuming. If they had, clearly it would have been on TV because American TV had the best of everything /sarcasm)

Like when I got into anime in the 90s, Sailor Moon episode sequences had to be mirrored so american kids wouldn't get confused about the cars driving on the wrong side of the road, half the characters in anime were constantly eating "jelly donuts" because we apparently had no chance of comprehending rice balls. I was freaking astounded when Netflix started hosting K dramas with only subtitles, no dubs. Just the other week I was watching an anime that actually kept the honorifics in the dubbed version and my jaw dropped because I remember my friends and I (pre-speedy internet) trying to parse mysterious words like "chan" and "kun." My well educated and generally liberal father reacted to my announcement that I was going to study Japanese in college (10 years ago) by listing the war crimes committed by Japan in WW2 (tell me you have a white American dad without telling me you have a white American dad 🙄).

It's also the way foreign languages are taught in US schools. Not just the fact that we start late, but that it's rarely viewed as a priority. I distinctly remember thinking "why am I learning French? Even if I ever go to France I'm only gonna visit for like a week, definitely not enough to need a whole language." There was almost no effort made to explain that 1) there are other countries that speak French, 2) there are people IN THE US who speak French as a first language and 3) you'll have a much better time overseas if you don't come off as a dumb American tourist. Culture being tied to language was never addressed at all. And I went to a well funded private high school where half the teachers held PhDs with language teachers were native speakers. (Actually I think it was one of my French teachers who explained that we 15 year olds were too old to really learn a language successfully, so that's awesome)

Do not get me wrong, this is not an excuse for Americans being, ya know, American about language and cultural literacy. But this is not an easy mentality to shake and pointing it out to a lot of your fellow Americans will get you a rant about how ungrateful you are for "attacking" the best country in the world. Sometimes I look back on the kind of cultural censorship that is so damn prevalent even now and it gives me a headache because this whole country feels like a cult sometimes. I wish I could have studied language earlier in life, I wish I would have seen it as more than just a graduation requirement, and I wish I had the time to prioritize it now, but I didn't and I can't.

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jessicas-pi · 9 months

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Incorrect Quotes: The Time Travel AU With The Padawans edition

Derra: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. Ezra, Sabine, Dae: Awwww- Derra: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." Ezra, Sabine, Dae: Oh. --- Derra: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down. --- Dae: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Daesha is such a nice girl, Daesha is so happy-go-lucky! Daesha can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Daesha CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Daesha IS be in a bad mood. ---

Derra: Why do I always tell people we’re cool? We’re so very uncool. --- Ezra: Oh gosh I wish I got more sleep I only got six hours! Dae: Six? I only got three! Sabine: You guys got sleep? Derra, comes stumbling out of her room and grabs a jug of caf before saying: What year is it?? --- Sabine: Your smile? It makes my day. Ezra: Your happiness? I live for that. Derra: A room? Get one. Dae: Hotel? Trivago. --- Ezra: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. Derra: Ridiculous. Give me some examples. Sabine: Wasps? Dae: Terriers? Ezra: Dae. --- Derra: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm a Sith, and I'm going to burn your house down. --- Derra: Anything else? Sabine: Yeah. Stay away from me! Derra: Alright. See you in the room we share. --- Dae: Wake me up- Ezra: Before you go go Sabine: When September ends Derra: WAKE ME UP INSIDE --- Ezra, to Kanan: The girls have been acting really weird lately. Do you know what's going on? *flashback to Dae talking to Kanan* Dae: I'm trying to set him up with Derra, obviously! They're Darkness and Light, two sides of the same coin. It's romantic! *flashback to Sabine talking to Kanan* Sabine: Derriphan said that she thinks Dae and Ezra like each other, and they're my two best friends, so of course I'm encouraging them to get together! *flashback to Derra talking to Kanan* Derra: Pff. I've never seen two people with less chemistry than Dae and Ez. But I don't want to cause suffering to draw power from, so I'm substituting teenage angst. I give Sabine six months maximum before she realizes her feelings and implodes with jealousy. *flashbacks end* Kanan: Kanan: ...all is as the Force wills. Ezra: That's not an answer. --- Derra: I am darkness. I am power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Dae: A doll. Sabine: A cinnamon roll. Ezra: A sweetheart. Derra: Derra: ...stop it. --- Ezra and Dae: *making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other* Ahsoka: Hera, exasperatedly: Guys, Fulcrum is here. --- Dae: I'm willing to bet that some day I'll die from an animal I try to make friends with. Ezra: OMG SAME!!!! --- Dae: This family doesn't split up to do sensible, constructive things. It comes together to do awesome, stupid things. --- Ezra: Why aren't there friendship pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like- Ezra, to Dae: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual. Derra, to Sabine: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire. Zeb, watching: There are two types of people. --- Dae, to Derra: Excuse us for being gushy, but this has to be said. You are not a loser. --- *the Squad at Space Disneyland, in the teacups* Sabine and Derra: *spinning a little and talking* Ezra and Dae: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming* --- Derra: Truth or dare? Dae: Dare. Derra: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room. Dae: Hey Ezra? Ezra, confused: Yeah? Dae: Can you move? I'm trying to get to the mirror. Ezra, deadpan: How very humble of you. Sabine: No, no. She's right. --- Sabine: Kriff. I give up. I admit the facts. Dae and Ezra are definitely a couple. Derra: Mm and why do you say that? Sabine: You saw her yesterday, Derra! She was wearing his shirt! Derra: And the day before that she was wearing Hera's spare overalls. Day before that she used Kanan's visor as a sleep mask. Do you know why I'm wearing booty shorts right now, Sabine? Because she took all my pants. Every single pair. And now I have to wear pink sparkly booty shorts because I have no more pants. Derra: Daesha isn't a girlfriend. She's a clothes thief. --- Derra: Someone will die... Dae: Of fun! --- Ezra: I just want someone to take me out. Dae: On a date? Derra: With a sniper gun? Sabine: Both if you're not a coward. --- Zeb: It's locked. You got a lock pick? Ezra: Yeah- Derra: *kicks in the door*

#padawans from the past AU #derriphan channaysdottir #daesha anu #incorrect quotes #sabezra

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de4dlyniightshade · 3 months

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heyy :) erm im gonna fangirl really quick and then the request will be at the end incase you wanna skip to that part or anything, lol. okay so this is very much unnecessary and unasked for and blah blah but i don't care! i believe writers need to hear how much we appreciate them and their works because whew mama! ive been trying to write fics for like months and it actually is so horrible. i genuinely start to angrily vibrate bc my thoughts don't flow on the notes app. but i just wanted to say, nightshade, (ehehe that's so cheeky and silly for some reason) that i reallyyy love your work. its actually like horrific how much your writing just makes me so 😜😊🤭 i know you're not like a celebrity or anything, so it's gonna be weird with this like mini parasocial relationship thing, but please know your work has an impact !! a few months ago, i did something extremely bad and out of character while i was spiraling, and i decided that the best decision for me would be to quit using social media. (and beforehand i had quit using tiktok for like 7 months already and i wasn't that addicted to my phone but i still was consuming negative media) so, ofc, i stopped completely for a good month or so and only ever using youtube every now and then. buttttt, one of the first social media platforms i came back to first... was tumblr! it's actually so silly too because i only used tumblr like 4 times beforehand so i was quite new. but anyway anyway (im a yapper UGH) i really found that your posts had made me feel happy :) idk they kinda reminded me of myself before i went big bad that one time and it made me inspired to go back to how i used to be... u get me?? you're writing literally haunts my brain oh my lord it should be illegal to read your stuff because afterwards i literally have this crazy ass urge to read more and more and more. im lowkey an addict cause i be having my deadlynightshade withdrawals. the way you write is just so 😫 gosh, it's beautiful. i also love ur sillyness because like ME TOO. your random little posts are so me coded and i love it. YOU'RE SO FUNNY 😭 uhmm i just wanted to say thanks for being super cool and talented because believe it or not, the stuff you put out makes me really happy! (that was so melodramatic like mf they write about spencer being a pathetic pussy drunk bitch why are you saying it changed ur life?? its true tho.) erm yeah that's the end of that part i just again wanted to thank you 🙏 i wish we were friends SO BAD like you're actually awesome what the fuck.... but like how do u even become friends w ppl?? LMAO ERM ANYWAY 😍 can you write a blurb or h.c or something (honestly anything will make me happy) about valentine's day?? 🤭 basically spencer being SO FUCKING SHY because you can't stop touching his hands or hair subtly or like kissing his cheek leaving marks from lipstick or like getting him his favorite snacks/drinks/books/textures/ basically a gift that made u think about him?? ugh or him doing the same with you like him being the best fucking nerd boy ever and spoiling you so much like he goes ape shit spending well over his funds limit but it's worth it because it's you? or like sweet soft cutie pie sex? at the end of the day and he's like... Erm.. Pussy for 1 please! you were so pretty today... You always are-! (I'm mentally ill and writing this at 8:37 pm on a thursday night.)

this is. the sweetest shit anyone has ever said to me i actually cried ngl to you.

i'm genuinely so thankful for the little community i have created here i never expected such an insane amount of positivity and love from people just for the whack ass shit i write but that's probably just my perpetual self hatred and disbelief that people enjoy anything about me🤞

i think it's crazy how people on the internet who have never met me, don't know me, what i look like, or anything can treat me better than any of my friends have and i'll always be thankful for that.

ALSO! i love being called funny pls kiss me i never think i'm actually funny istg

i was also planning on writing a valentines fic ALREADY but this made me wanna write it even more as a thank you for this message it genuinely made my week(can't promise it ON TIME for valentines but i can try!)

i'm also so glad that my work and blog makes you happy, there's no privilege greater than making someone smile even when they don't feel like it</3

#📬 maeve's mailbox!#screaming crying throwing up #genuinely will think abt this for a long time #everyone deserves messages like this

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vole-mon-amour · 1 year

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3x08, part 3.

THIS.

Rebecca's facial expression change as she reads that nonsense. These two holding hands. This is MY silver lining in this. I miss Rebecca and Keeley spending more time together.

I love them your honor.

This is so awkward. :') I can't help but to wish Roy x Jamie x Keeley all together.

Not gonna lie, this was one of my first questions bc I'm curious, but I didn't think Roy would go there. Couldn't imagine that happening, even, bc I probably think better of him? At the same point, I can see him being jealous like that & can't imagine Jamie, of all people, asking that question now 'cause he definitely knows better. Would be ironic if he actually goes there, too, and Keeley answers. It's weird, and awkward, and I'm glad we get to see their personalities through this.

Keeley's soft, "That's okay" with an "Unbelievable" undertone is known to so many women, I think. This is so important.

What? You fucked up? :')

I keep wondering, what model and year is this car? It's such a huge change from Jamie's Aston Martin.

Keeley is THE best girl. The bestest.

"It's all shit, Ted." ROY X JAMIE X KEELEY WHEEEENNNNNN

They're really cute, and I'm still very much on the fence, but I wish they could stay together. :( Jack doesn't seem EVIL evil, you know? maybe she just needs to learn, idk.

THEY'RE SO CUTE. Ugh, Ted is the ultimate dad tbh. I'm 28 & even I kinda envy having a dad like this. If only he could pull himself together. :( At the same time he's poking that topic with Henry very gently, so I don't think there's any hard with that. Idk. Those things are complicated.

You know who's excited to be around you and looks at you like you're their entire world, Ted? That's Trent. He's right there, within the reach of your hand.

You definitely should have had. There is sooo much learning for Jack to do. You know who mostly learned their lesson? Jamie. :) My feelings are all over the place.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Beard smooching Ted WHEN???

Of course he does, what did you expect? :DDD His fav player is Jamie fucking Tartt. Also, Beard smiling like THAT.

I honestly love the idea of Beard and Ted living together, but at the same time the idea of Beard getting up early in the morning to stop by at Ted's and cook breakfast for him and Henry? Are you kidding me? Fucking goals. I want what they have.

RESPECT!!!!!! Beard is the real one.

Henry is his dad's son. Can he just move in with Ted, please? I wouldn't mind that kid growing up around the team, Jamie constantly interacting with him. Beard taking Ted and Henry out for fun activities. That kid would grow up an AWESOME person.

I'm sorry, friend? I thought you were open about this? Gosh, there is so much wrong with their relationship. Do they communicate at ALL? It's like i'm on a swing: on the ship, off the ship. Can you two finally establish what's going on between you? Are you showing off your girlfriend or what? Like, listen, queer people shouldn't come out every time, especially if they're not comfortable with people around them. At the same time, I'm confused. She didn't even address this interaction after while Keeley obviously felt awkward and insecure about this. That's not good.

This is what Nate should have sent. I'm so fucking done with Rupert, when will Nate leave him and go back to Ted?

#ted lasso #keeley x jack #natiswatching #ted x beard #roy x keeley #jamie x keeley #rebecca x keeley

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these-conquered-woodlands · 2 years

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the wonderful women of hp as incorrect quotes

hermione: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something. ginny, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?

young minerva, pre-animagus: I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry way, more like a “I can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences” kinda way.

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut? lily: Preferably with scissors, but a sword would be awesome.

bellatrix: When life gives you lemons, what do you do? narcissa: Make lemonade- bellatrix: No, throw them back up in the sky and make life deal with it’s own shit. narcissa:

albus: Am I right, minerva? minerva: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I don't bother listening to you anymore.

cho: War is ...heck.

madam pomfrey: *pulls out a rifle* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

bellatrix: If you don't stop this nonsense, I'm going to jump out of that window. andromeda: ...We're on the ground floor. bellatrix: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

hermione: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird? luna: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

tonks: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

madam pomfrey: Why Minerva, are you talking to yourself? minerva: Yes minerva: It’s the only way to have an intelligent conversation in this damn castle.

andromeda: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY) narcissa: What's that? andromeda: Remorse code. narcissa: I'm even angrier now.

hermione: Fruits that do not live up to their names; passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew and dragonfruit. hermione: Fruits that do live up to their names? hermione: Orange.

cho: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!

alice, skipping rocks on a lake with lily: It’s such a beautiful evening. lily: (under her breath) Take that you fucking lake.

walburga, on sirius: My expectations were low but shiiiiiiiiiiiittttt.

alice: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

ginny: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." How are elephants more advanced than us? hermione: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

minerva: Don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be crying all day.

luna: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake? cho: Aww- luna: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

bellatrix: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

ginny: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store? luna: I thought the animals might be lonely.

molly, waking up her kids, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

minerva: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

lavender: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

narcissa: I'm going to ask you to be respectful. andromeda: And I will respectfully decline.

cho: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it. cho: That's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.

lily, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read.

mad-eye: Can we talk about that letter you sent to the group? tonks: Why? It was important. mad-eye: All it says is, "I'm back on my bullshit". tonks, shrugging: The people need to know.

andromeda: If I can't cause near ruin and disgrace for my family everyday just by existing, I think I'll collapse from the shame.

luna: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck.

lily: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test! alice: Ok, , I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918? lily: 1917. alice: ...You're ready.

ginny, to draco: If you can ever manage to get over yourself, I would highly recommend being me.

madam pomfrey: Why are we so awesome? minerva: That's the best goddamn question anyone's ever asked.

#there isn't much about some of them so i made everyone feral #lily potter #hermione granger #lily evans #luna lovegood #cho chang #lavender brown #minerva mcgonagall #alice longbottom #andromeda tonks #bellatrix black #narcissa black #walburga black

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