#;;no one gonna address the bad high standards joke right
Note
I have two unpopular opinions 1) if roles were reversed and Dean was the one drinking blood, Dean stans would have excused the shit out of it and even liked it. 2) if none of Dean's trauma was addressed and ignored (like most of Sam's trauma is) Dean stans would fucking riot.
intensely aggressively strongly agree | strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree
(sorry in advance, I ranted A Lot)
2) I'm gonna start with this one. YESYESYES I mean dean stans are already constantly unironically whining that dean's traumas never get acknowledged (EVEN THO IT'S LITERALLY NOT TRUE, HIS TRAUMAS ALREADY GET ACKNOWLEDGED MORE THAN ENOUGH. EVERY TIME HE STUBS HIS TOE. EVERYONE IS CODDLING HIM AND ASKING HIM HOW HE'S DOING. HALF THE SHOW IS LITERALLY DEAN MANPAINING ABOUT HIS TRAUMAS - but apparently that's not enough for them, so I can't imagine the uproar if it was actually true). meanwhile sam's traumas either get ignored or they get treated like a fucking joke? well I guess it's just another tuesday
I've also seen a lot of dean stans moaning about sam "forcing dean to talk about his traumas", because apparently sam actually acknowledging dean's traumas and encouraging him to open up about them and being always supportive af because he actually cares is unacceptable (and I'm willing to bet that if he didn't acknowledge them, they'd still complain because sam literally can't win no matter what he does)
but dean ignoring and never acknowledging sam's traumas (not even when he's directly responsible for said trauma) or making them all about himself (mystery spot, hallucifer, soullessness, gadreel possession) or vilifying and victim blaming him (being force-fed demon blood, soullessness, gadreel possession) or using said traumas to justify his actions (hallucifer) or making cruel, disgusting and unnecessary jokes about them ("you had a girl inside you for a whole week" [meg possession] "you know how wrong that sounds, right?" "you've like an episode of teen mom" [gadreel possession - let's talk about how these two in particular are a thousand times more disgusting than the rest since he's actually joking about a violation he's directly responsible for] "smores foot" [bmol torture] "crybaby pie" [cole torture] "you saw the [devil's] john [or butt]?" [the cage] dick of death jokes right, left and center) is perfectly acceptable behaviour
1) again YESYESYESYES. I mean, this isn't even a hypothesis, we already have an extremely similar storyline for dean - the moc - and everyone made excuses for him and glorified him, even tho he was worse than demon blood sam in every possible way
actually I wrote a rant on reddit a couple of days ago about the awful double standards between demon blood sam and moc/demon dean. I'm gonna paste it here because I'm Bitter Af
comparing demon blood sam and moc/demon demon is ironically and hysterically bitter because, logically, no matter how you spin it, s4 sam is much more understandable and easy to sympathize with - both in intentions and actions - and should have the moral high ground, while s9-10 dean was flat out awful and damaging. yet both the show and the fandom crucify sam and treat dean as some poor victim or a great martyred hero who made some great noble sacrifice and I just... don't get it. so let's break it down:
> reason for drinking blood / getting the moc
- sam: exorcising demons without harming the host, thus saving people (which apparently isn't that relevant to dean) and killing lilith, first because she sent his brother to hell and then to stop the apocalypse and because she was an actual threat
- dean: because he couldn't face the consequences of his actions after the gadreel mess and decided he wanted to kill abaddon, who, at that point, wasn't even their problem (she only became a real problem in 9x17, when they learned about the soul harvesting, so unless dean has some sort of prophetic knowledge, he had no reason to take the moc in 9x11) and was a real threat to no-one but crowley
> trusting / working with a demon
- sam: I've already said this before, but ruby was a master manipulator and went to extraordinary lengths to gain sam's trust and even managed to fool every single demon (aside from lilith obviously). as far as both brothers knew, she's done nothing but help them, saved their lives multiple times and helped them save others, fixed the colt for them, was there for sam after dean died, is basically hunted by other demons for helping them, has risked her life for them several times and even got tortured for them and was helping sam to go after the demon who was trying to start the apocalypse. sam had absolutely no valid reason not to trust her. I'd really like someone to look me in the eyes and tell me that, if anyone did everything I mentioned above, you wouldn't trust them
- dean: trusted a demon who they knew is extremely untrustworthy and self-serving and only does what's in his best interest and has screwed them over one way or another every time they worked together and has hurt people they're close to
> level of manipulation involved
- sam: as I already said, ruby was a master manipulator and spent two years carefully manipulating sam to get him to do what she wanted. not the mention everything azazel did to get him there, lilith pushing his buttons at every turn to get him to kill her and the manipulation from heaven as well, who were lying to the boys at every turn
- dean: while crowley was manipulating him, the level of manipulation isn't remotely comparable to the one sam went through is s4. crowley saying “let’s kill abaddon” and pretending to be afraid of cain is not comparable to a plan that’s been set on motion since the beginning of time and crowley wasn't the only one involved in dean getting the mark. cain was involved as well and he wasn't manipulating him (unlike sam, who was being manipulated by everyone involved). on the contrary, he was completely honest with dean and even offered to tell him more about the mark and DEAN REFUSED (like can you imagine how many problems would've been avoided if dean sat on his ass for one minute and listened to cain's warning???)
> actions
- sam: in s4 sam was trying to use something that was forced on him when he was six months old, and that he hated about himself, to do good because he felt like he had to and was literally SAVING PEOPLE and trying to stop the apocalypse, I literally still don't get why he's vilified for it????? in s4 sam killed a total of one (1) person: the possessed nurse and while that was obviously bad, 1) he was clearly upset about it and 2) I still haven't seen one (1) valid reason for why she's any different from the demons dean drained and killed in swan song or from any of the other possession victims they killed with the demon knife or the angel blade
- dean: meanwhile dean was going around murdering people left and right (also another example of fandom double standards: everyone defends moc!dean and demon!dean because "he only killed bad people" - which isn't even true, but let's say he was - and yet, I seem to remember a certain kitsune named amy pond, who was ALSO killing bad people (and not for the lolz of it, but to save her son) and dean killed her and the fandom defended him back then as well. is killing bad people okay only if dean does it?), tried to kill sam, beat cas bloody
> keeping secrets
- sam: keeping his powers and the demon blood a secret was his god given right, since it affected no-one but sam himself and the demons he was exorcising. not to mention, he had pretty good reasons for not telling dean, considering his bigotry, black and white views and judgmental attitude. and yet, he was, and still is, vilified by both the show and the fandom for keeping secrets and dean even punched him for not telling him about his abilities (something in particular about this point that absolutely drives me up the wall: in 4x04 sam accidentally revealed that he knew about what azazel did to him and dean got mad at him for not telling him about it, even tho dean himself found out about it and didn't tell sam and no-one - not the show, not the fandom and not even sam and dean themselves - notices the hypocrisy. they're literally saying that it's okay for DEAN to keeps something about SAM a secret from SAM, but not okay for SAM to keep something about HIMSELF a secret from DEAN. if you don't think that's super fucked up, then I don't know what to tell you)
- dean: no-one says anything about dean keeping the effects of the mark a secret, even tho, unlike s4 sam, lying about the mark directly affected other people and put everyone around him in danger, including sam
> general treatment
- sam: everyone treated sam like a monster in s4, dean straight up called him a monster, told him he'd hunt him if he didn't know him, forced him into a torture-detox that almost killed him, tried to control him and refused to see his point. at the end of s4 sam apologized to dean. in s5 dean repeatedly told him that he doesn't trust him. sam was blamed for everything that happened in s4 and his mistake kept getting brought up even seasons later
- dean: everyone and their mom was coddling him and helping to get rid of the mark. everyone considered the mark to be the problem, not dean himself. sam was unconditionally supportive. dean never once apologized to sam for any of the awful things he said/did to him while he had the mark. sam never once blamed dean for anything that happened in s9-10 and instead placed the blame on crowley and none of the things dean did ever got brought up again
> at the end of each arc
- sam: paid for his mistake by sacrificing himself and jumped into the cage and saved the world and got tortured by the devil himself for centuries
- dean: paid for his mistake by having his mother brought back to life
send me unpopular opinions
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Soul ties - Part 11 (Bucky Barnes au)
"High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again"
It took Bucky exactly eight minutes to meet you in the kitchen after you'd come back from taking your things at Darren's. He didn't say anything right away, placing a hot cup of fresh coffee in front of you.
"Black, no sugar," he told you.
You smiled softly at that small thing he'd managed to remember about you. Damn, your standards were low.
"How did it go?" he asked as he sat before you.
"Not as bad as I imagined," — you sighed – "even though he still found a way to be a dick."
"I'm sorry."
You shrugged as you held on tight to your cup. "It's not your fault, don't be."
"I kinda feel responsible, though."
You took a sip of your warm drink before instinctively grabbing his hands on the table.
"The only thing you're responsible for is making me see how he already was. I should thank you for that."
"I just..."
Footsteps made you remove your hands and place them back around your cup as you looked down. Bucky cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable as well.
"I didn't want to interrupt anything, sorry," Steve apologised. "Buck, Tony just confirmed we're going on a small mission tomorrow. You're still up, right?" He looked back and forth at you and his friend. "You can also stick around if you want. It's not gonna be difficult."
Bucky's eyes interrogated you for a second. Did he want to stick around to stay with you? You wish you knew. He tilted his head on the side, thinking.
"Nah, I already said I'd come."
"Cool. It's just gonna be Nat and the two of us. We should be fine."
As Steve laid a comforting hand on your shoulder, you felt his last sentence was more directed at you than it was at Bucky, who would actually be on the mission. He squeezed your shoulder before leaving the two of you alone again. The awkwardness that lingered in the air was killing you : had you made him uncomfortable by kissing him? Had he changed his mind about you?
"This is weird," you finally said. "I made it weird, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."
"Hey, hey, calm down," he whispered. "You didn't make anything weird. I just don't want to you to think I'm pushing you to anything so I..." — he shook his head – "I though not saying anything about what happened between us would make you more comfortable."
"Thank God," you breathed. "I thought you regretted it."
"How could I?" He stared at your eyes, his own checking out your lips for a second. "I'd do it again without any hesitation if you asked."
You felt a tickle in your stomach as he leaned towards you, his elbows resting on the table.
"What if I asked now?" you questioned, feeling your cheeks heating up.
The shadow of a smile appeared on his face as he grew closer to you, teasing you with his slow motion. You put your chin forward to make your intentions clear. Taking the hint, he brushed his lips against yours, sending shivers down your spine. You allowed your hand to touch his neck to pull him in and kiss him deeper. You soon felt him smile before he pressed a kiss on the corner of your mouth and sat back properly. You rested your head on your hand and shot him a bright smile before acknowledging your feelings and what you'd told Wanda.
"I'm scared, Buck," you confessed. "I don't want to impose my mess of a sentimental life on you."
"You mean that husband of yours?" Bucky scoffed. "It's not gonna be a problem, doll."
You chuckled at the nickname before grabbing his hand again. "I'm talking to Tony tonight to see if he knows a decent lawyer. After that...I'll have divorce papers drafted," you explained.
Bucky gently squeezed your fingers. "Are you ready to do it now? You have the right to wait."
"I know," you said, distractingly drawing circles on his hand with your thumb. "I also know that the sooner I do this, the less time he'll be able to torment me, because... I'm convinced he won't let this settle in peace."
"I'll be there. All the way."
You couldn't help but smile as you looked at both your hands. It felt so natural that you couldn't even feel any guilt about your marriage.
"Alright lovebirds, I've waited long enough for my tea," your sister joked as she walked in.
You let out a delicate laugh before getting up. "I'm gonna go work in the lab a little," you said. "I promised Bruce I would look into our tissue theory."
"Can I watch?" Bucky asked in an eager voice.
"Of course! I'll even teach you a few science tricks if you're nice enough." You smiled once more. "See you, Wanda!"
---
"Thanks for doing this with me," you said. "I could've gone alone, but..."
"Hey, it's alright," Sam told you. "That's what friends are for."
"Mrs y/l/n?" a young man asked you. "Mr. Reyes is ready to meet you."
You got up and breathed out before entering the attorney's office. As he invited you to take a seat in front of him, you quickly explained Sam was here to support you.
"Mr. Stark told me you might come with a friend," he told you as he grabbed a pile of paper and his pen. "Do you know what you want out of this divorce? Money, the house?"
"Oh, hum..." You fiddled with your fingers and Sam gave you a nod of encouragement. "All I want is to get out of this marriage. He can keep the place, I don't care. We don't even have joined bank accounts."
"Yeah, I noticed that. A smart move from you, lady." He took some notes before asking you for your postal address. : you gave him the compound's one. "You won't need elaborate papers for this, I believe. Regular ones will do it just fine, and I promise you'll be out of it in no time, provided your future ex-husband signs them soon enough."
"About that... What should I do if he doesn't?"
"Is it a strong possibility?"
You looked at Sam as you debated the question. You hadn't been married for long, but you believed Darren's ego and pride could possibly make this procedure trickier than it actually was.
"Yeah. He's not really happy with my decision."
"If he doesn't sign, then we'll settle this in court. Don't worry, though, we'll make sure we don't have to. Shall we go over the papers together?"
Once you were out of the office, Sam decided to stop at a bar to buy you a drink. "You deserve it," he said. Sitting there at the counter, a beer in your hand, you were anxious about Darren signing papers that hadn't even been sent yet.
"He'll sign them, y/n. And if he doesn't do it willingly, I trust Steve and myself to convince him."
He bumped your shoulder, making you chuckle.
"I hope you're right. I really don't want this do be dramatic. I know it's unfair to him, but..."
"Wait a second," he interrupted you. "Divorce isn't unfair given the way he's been treating you for years."
"I know that now. Both Wanda and Bucky have made it seem very clear to me. But he still deserves a real soulmate, one he will treat right. And I shouldn't have lied to him in the first place."
Sam took a sip of his beer and you took a minute to check out the beautiful small carvings on the edge of the counter. The whole bar had a dark, comfy vibe that you found yourself to enjoy a lot. The bartender had obviously recognised Sam, but he was chill about it.
"Maybe, but the same reasoning applies to you," your friend replied. "You deserve to be with your soulmate, and so does Bucky."
"You're probably right. Thank you again for coming along. I would've asked Wanda, but..."
"You didn't want to bother her and Vision, didn't you?"
"Yeah, and Steve was on a mission, so... Plus, you're way more chill than he is," you said, laughing a little. "Don't tell him I said that."
"I won't."
"I'm glad we're friends, you know? You, Steve, and the others...you're family to me now."
Sam patted your shoulder.
"I know. We'll always be."
You nodded slowly, taking another sip before Sam's phone started buzzing. He picked it up quick.
"Stark? What's up?"
You couldn't hear Tony's voice on the other end of the call, but Sam's furrowed brows had you worried. He looked down for a second.
"We'll be here in no time."
He hung up, probably making this one of the shortest calls in history.
"What's wrong?" you asked. "I know something's wrong. Tell me."
"They're back. We gotta go."
Sam grabbed his coat on his chair and dropped a bill on the counter to pay for the beers. He didn't even bother to wait for his change and you followed him outside.
"Okay but why the rush, Sam?"
"Bucky's hurt, and you're the only doc available right now."
--- And that's part 11! Part 13 will be the last one and it's making me emotional... :)
Tag list : @ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @bluemoon-icecream @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell @lizajane3 @livingonkpop @kaitieskidmore1
#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan imagine#bucky x reader#james bucky barnes#self insert#x you#x y/n#mcu#mcu fanfiction#marvel#captain america#cacw#catws#tfatws
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*Slurps on ice coffee* ey yo Mayra what's cracking? I need some good ole fashioned protective Sonic of Amy I̶'̶m̶ ̶b̶a̶s̶i̶c̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶ . Maybe something like the press or newspaper attack Amy's character which upset her and Sonic defends or tries to comfort her? That'd be great thanks *Puts on shades and skateboards away*
What up, homie? How’s the skate? Don’t get home to late, my man, you know how these streets be at night. OUR TOWN. That’s what’s up! -slaps hand into yours and does a bro-hold-
You can see my response and thinking for this on the Pajama Blogs! (x) Timecode: 28:12
Referencing my fanfiction: Trying to ‘Tap’ into Love
PROMPT REQUESTS ARE ON SHUTDOWN, DO NOT SEND ANY TO ME, please and thank you ;3c
Prompt:
It was a pretty late night. I hadn’t seen Amy so upset before.
Usually, in the past, it wasn’t uncommon for Amy to come rushing to me--arms flung out and moving like a speed train with tears that sprawled into sparkling stars against the sky.
I always, usually, kinda-sorta, caught her and just let her cry it out with an awkward smile to my face.
But this time... Amy wanted to be alone.
That was weird. I first heard about it from Tails, who said that she had been reading some articles about the team and how they’ve said some pretty critiquing things about her... I’ve never really dealt with anything like that.
Joking, completely, I’ve totally had my fair share. But what about Amy? I always figured... well, she came off as pretty independently confident all on her own. I didn’t think she cared that much about what everyone thought of her.
So I was a bit concerned by Tails’s words, but I thought nothing of it. Waved it off as a momentary sadness for her, after all, this was Amy! She could bounce back from anything.
If it was really serious, I figured she would have come charging after me like before.
The stars weren’t here tonight... odd.
Sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah. The second time I heard anything a little more alarming was from Knuckles. Apparently, Amy had come to seek some solace from the unconditionally loving Chao--now this had been a solid day and half since I’ve heard about the incident of her wanting to be alone after reading some bad commentary on her--and she would shake the chao away from clinging to her.
He said he didn’t get it, cause she used to love to cuddle them and they all were really hurt by her wanting to keep her distance and just pat their heads.
Now, if anything were to set me and Knuckles off, it was that.
His face was so strained as he talked to me about it, I’ve never seen Knuckles trying to hold back so much worry and anger before. He said he tried to go over and give her a piece of his mind, but when she turned around, her eyes were vacant of anything but tears.
“It looked like she thought she had done something wrong before she even did it.” He stated, “I didn’t have the heart to continue yelling at her, so I just shooed her away, telling her to pick on someone else if she was feeling that crummy.”
“Harsh, Knuckles. Harsh.” I joked, but there was a low-key truth to what I said. “Tails said something about harsh comments on some articles she likes to read about us.” The old alter of the Master Emerald’s shrine was as stony and gravely as ever. The little pieces of chipped pebbles always grinded and dug themselves under my fur and into my skin every time I sat there, but Knuckles acted like nothing ever phased his tough skin.
I was acting kinda tough, too... to be real honest with you.
Knuckles huffed, grumbling as he picked up some berry juice he had squashed into a half-coconut bowl and passed one over to me. “Doesn’t excuse telling a kid they can’t hold ya.” He was right... but then again...
“Maybe she just didn’t want the sympathy.” It was hard to look at it from a girl’s point of view, I didn’t quite understand what would tip her over the edge like that. Maybe they said she wasn’t pretty enough..? Ehh..?
“Girls really care about how others view them, you know?” I took a sip. It did in fact taste good, and I leaned back to let the slight acidy feel tingle against my throat as its favorable burst went down the ol’pipe. “Ahh~ That’s the spot!”
“...I don’t think you should be acting so carefree about this, Sonic.”
His sudden tone made me stop enjoying the berry sensation and look back to him, a little surprised but not by much. Knuckles always chose the direct route in any conversation, it’s what made him so easy and frustrating to talk to.
I smiled and closed my eyes, putting a foot down a step to stretch it out and sighed.
“...Yeah. I know.”
“If you know, then why don’t you do something about it!?” Knuckles, always ready to pull his voice out and speak up when he sees something he doesn’t like. “The very fact that she’s a girl means you should do somethin’ about it! Girls aren’t meant to mope about, they gotta be treated decently! Ain’t that half your job?!” ...Still, it made me like him like that. He was a good guy, and had the real makings of a hero--at least, to my standards--and a good friend at that!
“Half, huh?” I took another sip. Did everyone think me and Amy were something more..? After all these years, I hadn’t the slightest clue. Seems everyone else held a standard in their mind about it though...
“I’m serious! Aren’t you planning to do something about it?”
“Am I?” I smirked, not liking to be asked direct questions about myself. I took the coconut drink down and set it to the side, getting up and stretching my arm out in a few simple gestures. Spreading it across my chest and pulling it with my other hand, then twisting my torso right and down as I put the other arm back and used the one I’d momentarily stretched to reach sky high with it. “Boy, that feels good!”
“Grr... Sonic... if you’re making fun of this, I’ll-!” Before getting Knuckles too wound up, seeing him lift his fists again, I flicked myself in my usual--Sonic Charm~
I winked and wiggled my pointer finger, turning one leg to be slightly bent as I was about to speed off anyway.
I had heard what I wanted too, now time to do some more digging before investigating it right at it’s source.
���Don’t worry so much, Knuckles! Like I’d ever leave Amy to her own assumptions.” I still wasn’t sure what she was struggling with... but wanting to be alone and not have anyone clinging to her in affection?
Didn’t sound like Amy Rose to me.
While heading to dart off the island, I stopped by the chao and asked them what their story was.
Squatting down, I think I mustered up enough of my expertise in games to figure out their charaded play. It seems the chao could tell something was off from Amy’s usual, cheery nature. To try and help, they tried to swarm her as she usually did with endless hugs, but she delicately plucked each one off at a time and set them back down.
All she wanted was to sit, looking sadly between her arms and legs--I’m guessing the chao were trying to do the fetal upright position but their budgy bodies just can’t do it.--and pat their heads.
It made them uncomfortable to not be able to love on her, I assumed, and they continued to show me great concern as they held my arms in different places and showed me their adorable eyes.
“I get it, don’t worry, Amy’s gonna be just fine.” I smiled the best I could, but hearing... well, seeing their side of the story really... heh, opened my eyes?
Puns. Always a defense mechanism when you don’t intend to use them that way.
Something had me wanting to wait before I saw Amy again, though. Usually, that wasn’t like me, but I wanted a bigger picture.
I sped over to Cream’s and Vanilla’s, where I thought more insight might be had.
Tails had already called them, doing his own work to try and collect the pieces before directly asking Amy. We all knew Amy could be a bit... Nah, I won’t say it. But we wanted a better idea before we approached her about it.
Just safer that way...
I rubbed my head, remembering how easily one could fall into that hammer’s swing if they didn’t word things a bit more carefully, as Cream and Vanilla recounted Amy’s strange melancholy behavior, and how she wanted to seem less-
“Feminine?” That threw me for a loop, and trust me, I’ve had my fair share of running through loops.
“Well, not quite.” Vanilla was sitting on her lovely coach with Cream and Cheese sitting adjacent but slightly on her lap. She looked down at Cream who held her chin up a moment, wanting to be polite as she addressed me.
I did my best to hold a steady and kind eye-contact, but I could tell she was struggling to admit what she heard and saw.
“Miss Amy kept asking me strange questions. Like... Was she too much on something. I didn’t understand and she kept insisting I shouldn’t coddle her or lie to her. I didn’t know how to take that... I would never lie to Miss Amy! I just... didn’t understand what she wanted from me.”
It pained me to see that Amy had hurt someone from her own insecurities.
That was everything Amy stood against, and that’s when I knew this was getting out of hand.
I had let her be for a day just to see if she would either work it out on her own or come crying to me... but she hadn’t done either.
She was now hurting those close to her... and so it was time to intervene.
“Thank you for telling me that, Cream.” I purposefully spoke as tenderly as I could, “I’m sure that was hard for you. I’m very grateful you told me what happened.”
She buried herself into her mother’s chest, still hurt, and that drove a powerful fire through me.
That does it, Amy.
You don’t hurt people when you’re injured.
You come to someone stronger to help heal you if you can’t do it yourself.
At the time, I was really upset. Amy must have been polarized by the media.
They call her too traditional? Is that why she wanted to be more ‘tough’ like? Too protected? Too appeased?
Feminine... did she feel like a damsel in distress instead of our trusted friend?
I was trying to keep my head leveled, but I ended up closing my eyes during my run and letting the night’s air beat against me to try and cool myself off before finding her.
She wasn’t home, I checked the windows. No lights.
Unless she was sitting the dark, Amy always had a reading light on. She only turned every light off in her house when she was going to bed, so she could see the stars and feel like we were watching them together, no matter if we were far apart or not.
I looked to see she hadn’t any dirty dishes in the sink, and while peeking through the window, I noticed her drapes were down as well. That means she hadn’t been cooking or baking, and that she hadn’t opened the windows and pulled the drapes to let the smells carry, hoping I’d catch wind of it and invite myself in for a dinner with her.
I sped over to the city, thinking maybe she went on one of those ‘journey walks’ where she just window shops but ends up buying too many bags and waiting for me to bolt by and help her with them. She liked to think and experience things outside the home too... but I didn’t see her struggling with shopping bags anywhere.
She wasn’t watching Twinkle Park’s lights from her favorite outdoor restaurant, or purposefully losing her hat in hope’s I’d somehow see it and return it to her. She wasn’t sitting on her favorite spot with her favorite outdoor umbrella with her typical strawberry and vanilla shake and pretending she was too cold to finish it, bundling up and hoping I’d make a move and pull her closer or something.
She wasn’t in the fields where she’d pick flowers with Cream, or stare up at the clouds and reminisce about old times and stories we used to tell each other, or have her head on a bed of flowers so butterflies would come and sit on her still face as she dreamed of a future with me in it. Waiting for me to zip by and have the butterflies spread out and fly through my backdraft as the air around where I just blazed through would slowly return to a even, equilibrium.
She wasn’t anywhere I usually found her at.
I came up to my last spot I could think of. Why was this so hard? Amy could find me in a heartbeat... which... I couldn’t quite feel right now because it was fluttering dangerously like my shaky breaths.
I kept a strong look on my face, simply because I was worried my fear at not finding her would leak through and make her feel bad about being too well hidden.
I didn’t want her to feel bad... I didn’t want her to be alone for this long.
It had been the dark of the second day... I just wanted to see her. Make sure she was okay...
That anger that once fueled me was now popping in sparks of concern that made me walk around the rolling hills of Green Hill zone.
If she wasn’t here... looking for me... then I truly didn’t know where she was.
Eggman... would have been my next guess.
That, or Amy was replaced by a robot of his and was terrorizing the living daylights out of her friends!
... It was concerning. I wouldn’t worry. I couldn’t worry... Amy wasn’t a little girl anymore and hateful, spiting comments were to be expected when you live in the spotlight.
But I was just wanting to know where she was... how she was... It was starting to drive me crazy.
“Where are you... Amy?” I looked up to the sky, blank and black, and I didn’t like the omen it sent me. Like chills down my fur, the wind finally got to me. I felt the cold... empty world for the first time... realizing Amy was out in it without me.
Was she without her coat? Was she silently re-reading those awful articles?
‘Amy... Amy... Hear me... You’re not alone.’ My thoughts channeled through to my feet and I kept searching, darting here to there, scouting out east and west, north to south was like zig-zagging till every blade swayed left and right to make sure she wasn’t hiding somewhere in it’s darkened shade...
A crescent moon... not a full one. She liked the full moon.
‘Amy...’
As I ran through a rather flattened terrain of another zone, I watched to the side of me how the treelined slimmed down and the edge of the world rose up on a hill... that soon became a mountain.
Blocking my view... of any light the night could have brought to her.
She only liked the dark when she was about to sleep... it’d be too dark to really see her way home, soon.
I had confidence she knew her way home, that the world wasn’t that dangerous... but I wondered if her mind could be.
‘Amy...’ I bit down my teeth, charging forward in a streak of blue.
“AMMMMYYY!!!!”
----
As though hearing something in the distance, I raised my head and looked back over my shoulder.
Something kept telling me Sonic was looking for me... but I wondered if that was true this time.
I turned my solemn head with a sigh back to the last shred of light from the fading sun... I felt like... if I got any closer, I would feel it’s warmth envelop me completely... and I’d disappear from this world.
All these awful words in my head would cease, all this terrible feeling of not being enough, or too much, or just dull and unwanted... I wanted it all to go away.
I had cried and thought so much, self-reflected to the point of not even knowing where I was or how far I had traveled off too.
Tails said I was acting too sensitive to words that random people that didn’t even know me had said. Knuckles yelled at me when I tried to change my behavior so I wasn’t what those people had written about. Cream even got tongue-tied trying to voice her own thoughts about me... and ended up just saying something to ‘feed my ego’ as they put it.
No... Cream wouldn’t do that. Tails wouldn’t try and be so dismissive of me like they said they all are. Knuckles... Okay, Knuckles is loud and yells a lot, but he meant well..!
She groaned and let herself flop back to lay against the cold grass, still holding her arms around herself as she was getting terribly cold in her heartache.
Knuckles just didn’t like how the chao were reacting to my new behavior... it’s understandable they would have been apprehensive to me trying to love them a little less directly... But practicing my new, refined self on them didn’t seem to have any good effects...
Maybe I’m overthinking... but I just want someone to tell me... I’m alright.
She put her arms over her eyes, refusing to look up at such a dark and ugly sky tonight.
“I just-” she sniffed, feeling the hot tears break through her already stained, sticky cheeks full of her earlier dried tears again. “I just want someone to tell me I’m perfect the way I am..!”
A sound arrowed itself into a bow along the plain of where Amy was, a sound that soared through her like a sonicboom that cracked through to her heart and made her sit up, looking as though with outrageous hope towards the last lowering light of the sun’s touch...
The grassy hill behind her seemed to have made a sound like something was moving quickly across it’s tundra... like something was refusing to let her sit in the quietness to let her thoughts overwhelm and consume her.
Her thoughts could hear someone calling her name...
“Sonic..?”
She lightly whispered his name out.
Then, as though pushing her lips back to not bother him, but wanting more than anything to jump into his arms-!
“SOOONIICCC!!!”
-----
He zoomed back to the sound, his eyes raising as though elated to finally get a trace of her.
And those tears that sparkled and lit up the entire night sky with stars...
And those arms that reached out for him, as though stretching on for eternity... a never-ending yearning he always accepted, granted a little half-heartedly, but never refused.
That scene was forever imprinted on him... and he wasn’t letting Amy leave his sights till she was her usual, teasingly flirty and emotionally unbreakable, spirited and youthful self again!
#The pining..!!!! The yearning..!!! Ahhh!!!#sonamy#sonicxamy#cutegirlmayra#sonic prompt#sonamy prompt#sonamy hurt/comfort#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose
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How about the team agreeing to play baseball with Scout for his birthday? Because they always admired how happy and free he looks when he's running. (SniperScout in between if possible would be great)
pushed up in the requests backlog for reasons. team bonding fic is best fic
(warnings for alcohol mention and passing non-graphic cartoonish violence)
-
“The hell is he so excited about?” Demo asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing over his shoulder towards where Scout was laughing his way down the hall.
“No idea,” the Engineer said, shuffling the deck neatly. “Been all high-energy high-spirits the whole damn day.”
“Unfortunately,” Medic agreed, a little bitter. That garnered several more raised eyebrows from around the table.
“Twice in one day Doktor has to fix broken leg in fighting,” Heavy explained, placing a placating hand on Medic’s shoulder. “And Scout takes many bad risks. Overconfident.”
A questioning noise from within Pyro’s suit. “I’d sure like to know why, as well,” Engie nodded. “Tryin’ out some new energy drink, maybe?”
“High spirits and hubris from consistent victory?” Soldier suggested.
“You’re joking,” Sniper suddenly cut in, glancing around the table, who all looked right back, surprised to hear him cutting in on the usual gossip. “...You lot really didn’t remember?”
A snort from Spy, a vague shrug from the rest of the table.
“It’s his birthday tomorrow.”
A pause, then noises of surprise, shock, and from some of the table, alarm. “A repeat of last year, how very unfortunate,” Spy hummed, taking a sip of his drink.
Pyro shouted something with no small amount of conviction that might have been along the lines of “this is terrible!”. Demo seemed to agree, from the shock on his face, the widening of his eye.
“Oh no,” Heavy rumbled, looking legitimately worried. Medic’s eyebrows were furrowed.
“I can’t believe you,” Sniper deadpanned, glaring at all the other mercenaries sitting there. “First year, you don’t bother wishing him a happy birthday. Second year, he plans a whole damn party for himself so you lot wouldn’t forget again and half of you don’t plan ahead and we get scheduled out on a mission and leave the bugger all alone all weekend. And you promise you won’t forget again. And one year later, here we are.”
Pyro appeared to be in a state of panic, pacing at high speed behind their chair, tugging at various points of their suit in high agitation. The Engineer’s face was largely hidden behind the hardhat and goggles and the hand clamped over the bottom part of his face.
“Perhaps he won’t be upset,” Medic suggested. “We all simply wish him a happy birthday and have drinks.”
“We do that every other weekend,” Demo pointed out. Soldier murmured in the affirmative.
“Sniper has remembered,” Heavy noted, looking at the man in question. “Maybe team helps with plans?”
“I already got him a gift,” Sniper mumbled, fidgeting with his hat. “But I don’t think we’ll manage to pass it off as from the whole team.”
“He’s gonna be so disappointed if he finds out that we forgot again,” Engie sighed, head in his hands. “It’ll break his damn heart.”
“So once again, it seems that I’ll need to step in and save you all,” Spy drawled, putting his glass down and reaching into his jacket, pulling out and unfolding a sheet of paper. “With your collective track record regarding this specific event, I assumed you would all forget again, and so took some steps to ensure that there would be a backup plan when the event arises and we wouldn’t need to deal with moodiness and general malaise from the team for the next several weeks.”
The Engineer took the paper, holding it so Medic could read it at the same time as him, Heavy leaning to try and get a look. Eyebrows began to rise. The paper was passed around the remainder of the table.
“You think this’ll work?” Demo asked suspiciously.
“Obviously. Well, and to be fair, you don’t exactly have any other options.”
He had them there.
-
“—Just totally can’t believe you talked Miss P into lettin’ us do this that’s just the coolest shit in the world lemme tell ya, like seriously that’s completely nuts and I can’t even believe it, she’s the best—!“
Scout had only stopped talking long enough to breathe over the course of the entire walk from the base to the makeshift baseball pitch that the Engineer had propped up overnight, absolutely bubbling and more high-energy than any of them had assumed to even be possible—even for him. And most of them had anticipated already hating the idea by the time they got to the pitch, but so far things were actually going rather well. The uniforms that had been shipped in (in their team colors, obviously) all fit them correctly and weren’t nearly as embarrassing as expected, in particular since most of them opted to keep at least one part of their usual wardrobe in the mix, such as masks or helmets or hats. Pyro, for one, just put the baseball uniform on over their entire flamesuit, but nobody was particularly surprised.
They crested the little ridge and got a look at the pitch, and for a moment, Scout went silent, eyes wide and mouth agape. Demo elbowed the Engineer to get his attention and flashed a thumbs up, making him grin and fluster a bit, mumbling about how it was nothin’ special, really.
“Alright,” Scout finally said, turning to them with his hands on his hips, taking on an authoritative tone. “So who here knows how baseball works?”
The Engineer and Soldier raised their hands. After a moment, Sniper and Pyro tentatively did the same. Demo made a so-so motion with one hand.
“And who knows how sandlot baseball works?”
Everyone but the Engineer dropped their hands, and even then, he looked a little doubtful.
“Alright,” Scout said, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “So we don’t exactly got enough people to make a real team—need twelve for a standard six-players-a-team. So we’re gonna be improvising a little bit.”
He looked around, and started addressing each of them with a pointed finger.
“Heavy,” he said, and the giant raised an eyebrow. “You’re catcher, all you gotta do is stay behind first base and catch the ball so it doesn’t roll away. I know you’re not gonna flinch when you see somethin’ speeding at your head, yeah?”
Heavy nodded thoughtfully.
“Cyclops, first base,” Scout said next. “Fucks with your blind spot the least, and you know how to throw shit. Mumbles, you’re on second, Helmet-Head on third.”
Demo flashed a thumbs-up, Pyro clapped their hands together, and Soldier raised an arm in a sturdy salute.
“Doc, right field. Odds are, none of these chuckleheads are gonna hit anything too far to the left or right of normal, but if they do, you’re like practically as fast as I am and can handle it. Spy, you hang out back there in left field. I know you’re probably not gonna catch shit if it comes at you, but hey, it’s worth a shot and you won’t gotta deal with much anyways.”
Medic nodded at the compliment and Spy raised an eyebrow at the insult.
“And Snipes, you’re the pitcher,” Scout concluded, hands returning to his hips.
There was a snort from Demo. Sniper elbowed him.
“Figured you know how to throw shit and won’t straight up brain anyone,” Scout continued, not noticing the squabble. “And I’ll be first up to bat, and we’ll cycle through everyone in that same order, starting as soon as you guys can stop me from running all the bases, then we’ll play normally from there, how’s that sound?”
“You’re sure talkin’ yourself a big game there, son,” the Engineer observed, eyebrows raised.
“Damn right, I’ve been playin’ this shit since I was three,” Scout said, grinning wide. “This is gonna kick ass.”
-
Indeed, the first eight pitches went by in pretty rapid succession. Two because they fumbled and hesitated and miscommunicated in their pitching and couldn’t beat him to the bases, two after that as Scout scored home runs, another general fumble, another home run, one where the ball landed a few feet away from Spy who outright didn’t attempt to catch it, only kicking it closer to Medic as he rushed up to get it, and then one where Scout didn’t notice until he was back at home base that Soldier had unintentionally thrown the ball directly into the side of Pyro’s head (who was distracted by drawing shapes into the dirt at their feet).
They just barely managed to get him out on third, and then it was Demo’s turn.
Overall, by the first circuit through the whole team, they were surprised to find that they were actually having fun, even and especially with the odd shenanigans that ensued during the course of the game. There was one point where Soldier full-body tackled Demo at first base (just slightly confused about a few of the contact rules), and another where Sniper thought it would be funny to throw a hard ball of clay from at his feet, sending the team laughing as it exploded all over Pyro’s suit and they needed to stop to wipe the lenses on their mask clear. Demo surprised all of them with the first bunt of the game, and the Engineer with sending the ball soaring nearly into a homerun, with him sheepishly asking if using the Gunslinger to swing was allowed after he’d already run the bases. Then there was Pyro calmly stealing their way to third after the team thought their turn was over, and Heavy accidentally cracking the bat, and Medic absolutely eating shit as he tried to take off towards first. And nobody for sure knew how to react to the one time that Spy actually caught the ball, all but diving to catch it and send it to second just in time to get Soldier out. And of course, all of them were left just slightly in awe as Scout sent home run after home run sailing towards the stratosphere.
They finally had to stop when it was getting dark and Heavy informed them that they didn’t have any more baseballs left in the bucket for all the ones sent sailing far foul or off into the distance with a homerun. Soldier and Demo promised to go pick them up the following day and they all began their trudge back to base, covered in the bright orange loam of the desert and already slightly sore and feeling like they were in much higher spirits than any of them had expected. Scout, most of all, seemed... contented. Not just cheerful, not just bubbly, but contented, satisfied. Happy. He seemed so very happy.
Several of them, glancing around between themselves, considered telling Scout the truth, that they hadn’t put in nearly as much work as he thought they did. But most of them just settled in for saying happy birthday a few more times over assorted bottles of booze and maybe even a movie.
Sniper, for one, was a little fidgety on the way back to base. Halfway there, he took Scout by the shoulder, pulling him to slow down just a bit.
“Had, er,” Sniper said once they were a good few meters trailed behind the team, eyes averted. “Heavy said we were out, but. Had, er. Had one ball left.”
He pulled the baseball in question out of his pocket, unfolded it from the handkerchief it was in, passed it over, a little sheepish. Scout took it, confused, turning it over in his hands.
He stopped dead in his tracks. The rest of the team slowed and turned as they realized two of their party weren’t with them. Scout’s mouth was agape.
“Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmyGOD—“ Scout babbled suddenly, eyes widening, practically starting to vibrate in place. “—is this a real actual serious legitimate gen-u-ine real signature? Snipes please tell me you’re not fuckin’ around right now ohmyGOD.”
“Nah, yeah, from the actual bloke,” Sniper agreed, scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly. “Yats-rem-key, something like?”
“Only just jersey number eight, left fielder for the Boston Red Sox, five-time All-Star four-time Gold Glove winner and three-time batting champion, Triple Crown winner and overall MVP in the entire American Major League of baseball, Carl Michael motherfuckin’ Yastrzemski!”
Sniper faltered under the sudden weight of the entirety of Scout as he was all but tackled in a hug, Scout continuing to babble excitedly on about the man whose signature was on the baseball in his hands. There was a general chuckle and rolling of eyes from the team as they watched the scene unfold.
“And we’re sure Sniper’s not the catcher, then?” Demo asked lightly, and with Sniper not there to elbow him, the Engineer took his place, making Demo snicker.
“If you would please cease embarrassing yourselves,” Spy called over after giving them a solid minute, which made Scout look up and apparently notice the entire team looking at them, flushing red and promptly trying to pretend he didn’t just do all that. “I believe that Heavy has prepared some kind of cake and I for one would rather not eat it after Pyro has covered it in candles and torched them all.”
Indeed, Pyro by then had a good head start on the team, who all hurried to catch up. And they all bumbled their way through at least five nationalities’ rendition of a Happy Birthday Song, and each very nearly got through their slice before the first scrap of the night began and the rest of it was lost in the mayhem, and overall, Scout would remark the next day through the haze of his hangover that actually, that was easily one of his favorite birthdays in a long time.
#tf2#team fortress 2#sniperscout#speeding bullet#(it's like. passing at best. could be read as platonic probably)#shut up me#everybody talks#my fanfiction#dad!spy if you squint#birthday's in half an hour and im excited!! should be fun!!
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Every Dog Has His Day
Characters: Hound/OC
Summary: Insecurities abound for Coruscant’s favorite late night DJ.
Warnings: None
A/N: So Hound is a golden retriever in clone armor and I would kill for him. All the love to my girls @skdubbs and @crimson-dxwn who deal with me while Ido this.
-----
“Mister, can I pet your dog?”
Hound looks down at the small child squinting up at him; he’s got a gap where his front teeth should be and the ‘mister’ comes out more like a ‘mither’. The kids’ moms stand a pace behind him, one smiling brightly while the other glances nervously from Hound to Grizzer.
“Is it ok with your folks?” He’d been to his fair share of PR in services since being transferred to Coruscant. He glances at both women. He receives a nod from the more laid back of the two.
“Grizzer, sheber.” The massiff throws his hind quarters down with such force that both he and the nervous mother laugh. Grizzer’s tail wags a mile a minute as he takes it upon himself to lay on his belly and crawl slowly toward the child.
“He’s a good boy as long as you're not a bad guy” Hound says squatting down. The little boy's eyes get wide as Hound tips his bucket forward, stage whispering. “You listen to your moms, right?”
The kid nods rapidly. Hound laughs, lets relief fill his voice. “Oh good, you should be safe then.”
Grizzer eats up the attention, laying his big head in the child’s lap. Soon three other children join in. Hound talks to their parents, every now and then glancing at his partner. The massiff has turned from a well trained soldier to a glob of mush under the fawning of the children.
This was just another part of the job. Public relations was a big deal. Clones got a bad rap. Every now and then, a few troopers on leave trying to drown bad memories of the war would get on the wrong side of the law and throw the whole damn clone army back two paces in the public opinion polls, and it was the job of troopers like Hound and the rest of the Guard go try to be poster boys for the rest of them. At times like this it wasn’t hard.
“Hound. Time to break it up. I need you to do a sweep of the central pavilion.” Commander Fox’s voice rings clearly in his bucket.
“Roger that, Commander” he says before turning to address the small gathered group, “alright now, Grizzer and I have to be getting back to work.” A small chorus of ‘Awwws’ makes him chuckle. The massiff looks at him as to say the same.
“Come on, buddy. Borarir.” Hound gives the command for work and Grizzer perks up, giving an excited yip as he darts to Hounds side in a tight heel. “Tell your new friends bye,” Hound encourages and Grizzer gives a loud woof that has all the kids -and a few of their parents- laughing.
Hound’s head goes on a swivel as soon as they turn away. “Time to get serious now,” he instructs the animal at his side. Grizz gives him a look. “I know. I know,” hound says, reaching down to pet his head, “you don’t need to be told twice.”
The massiff huffs and his nose falls to the duracrete. Fete weeks were always crazy and with the rise they’d been seeing in terrorist activities, Commander Fox had wanted everyone on high alert.
Since being transferred to Coruscant, Hound has grown to love the craziness of Fete weeks and while New Year Fete week was his favorite, he enjoyed the Festival of Life nearly as much. Someday he hoped to experience it as a spectator and not the security.
They skirt along the perimeter of the pavilion, where a local band was warming up. The smell of fest food from the stand of carts across the way has both Hound and Grizzer aiming their noses toward the various booths of sweet fruits, spit roasted meats, and honeyed pastries.
“Let’s make one good pass and I’ll treat you to some nerf-“
Grizzer woofs quietly.
“Fine” Hound clarifies, “I’ll treat us to some nerf.”
Toward the end of their loop Hound comms an all-clear to his nearby colleagues. He'd do another loop in an hour or so but for now he'd wait and watch.
The band has started playing finally and Grizzer puts himself in a heel as the pair sit and listen for a spell. The different radio stations have booths set up, slinging merch and freebies at passing fete goers. Hound’s eyes scan looking for IRR’s booth. He doesn’t recognize the guy signing autographs, but he does remember the head of pastel purple hair fondly.
“That’s her bud,” he says, glancing down quickly at the massiff at his side, “Told you she was real pretty, didn’t I?”
Grizzer scents the air in the direction of the IRR booth.
Nuna Skii is off to the side unpacking boxes of this and that and setting it out on the table for passers-by.
“I should go say hi,” he says after a minute to psych himself up. He clicks his tongue lightly and Grizzer falls in at his side as he walks towards the tables. A holoboard has been set up with the names and times each personality will be signing autographs. Hound frowns when he scans the board and doesn’t see Nuna’s name listed. The others were ok, he guessed, but who would want anyone but Nuna Skii’s signature?
“Oh my maker! What a cute baby!” Hound glances up in time to see Nuna dip down onto her knees as Grizzer leans in and gives her a wet kiss. She giggles as the massiff leans his heavily armored body against her.
“Grizz!” he scolds, and the mas’ looks up at him with a pleased look on his muzzle.
“Oh it’s you! Hound!” Nuna tries to stand but Grizzer places a meaty paw on her shoulder. She laughs as she rubs under his jaw. “This cutie belongs to you?”
“You could say that. We’re partners.”
Hound tries not to feel jealous as Grizzer's face is held between her small hands and she coos to him. “Big tough guard mas’. Such a sweet boy, aren’t you?” He'd give good credits right now to swap places.
“You really think he’s cute?” Hound asks as Grizzer finally lets her stand and lays down between the pair of them, head resting over one of Hound’s boots.
“What? Of course!” Her smile is bright and her deep brown eyes sparkle as she talks. “I mean, I guess there’s no accounting for taste. I had this great uncle who kept a strill named…” Nuna rubs the back of her head, “I haven’t thought about that in years,” she laughs, “I think he called it Mird? Anyway, I loved that little thing and let me tell you, Strill are certainly never going to be on the top of any list of traditionally beautiful creatures.”
Hound knows he’s staring, but she’s chattering on and he can’t help himself. When she mentions the name of the strill something pings in his memory banks but he can’t quite place it. Before he has a chance she asks him a question.
“I’m sorry,” he offers, “what was that again?”
“I was asking if you heard my shout out last week?” She’s glancing down toward Grizzer almost bashfully. When she looks back up she has her lower lip trapped between her teeth and a smile lighting up her features. Hound’s brain turns to mush. “I hope it wasn’t too much?”
Too much? He’d felt like the man for days afterwards. He’d gotten a shout out on Nuna Skii’s show and all his vode knew it.
“No it was great. Thanks.” He tries to play it cool, like it hadn’t been the single greatest thing that had happened in the last standard rotation.
“Cool.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.” They look at each other silently for a moment before they both laugh awkwardly. Grizzer’s muzzle swings from one human toward the other, a wondering tilt to his head.
“So...uh… you’re not signing autographs later?” Hound gestures to the holoboard. Nuna waves him off.
“Oh, I don’t do the whole autograph thing. I like to keep the fantasy alive.”
He cocks his head curiously. In all honesty, he’d had more fantasies since he’d met her on the side of the skylane than he’d ever had before. It was one thing to think of his favorite voice in the galaxy as an unattainable holomodel, but to actually meet her and see that she was the cute girl next door. It added a whole new level to his personal time. Now he thought less about long slender legs wrapped around his hips and more about gripping on to soft, warm thighs. Less about pristine make-up and perfect hair and more about the way he’d noticed her pale brown eyes crinkle at the corners as she smiled.
And her voice. He imagined she’d use that on-air voice just for him. It made his toes curl in his boots just thinking about it.
“My fans have a certain image of me in their heads. I don’t want to ruin it.”
He wants to tell her to shift it. The image she was throwing off now was absolutely grade A but he hesitates and the moment is gone.
“So, uh, do you like food?” He cringes as the words come out of his mouth, “I mean, I was gonna get a few nerf skewers.” He clenches his hand into a fist at his side so he doesn’t start rubbing the back of his helmet. There really was no reason his palms should be sweating like they were. “I could grab you one if you want or,” he shrugs, “you could walk over there with us, maybe.”
That same bashful smile lights her face as she glances at the booth around her and back over to the personality signing autographs.
“I mean, if you can’t, that’s ok too. I was just thinking.” Hound wants to kick himself. Any game he had was completely lost the second he’d started talking to her. “If you're busy, maybe I could just get your comm and we could do it another time.”
Grizzer whines at his feet. Nuna looks down. “Aww is the poor guy starving?”
No, he wasn't, Hound thinks. The mooch had his rations and half of Hounds just an hour before. He was embarrassed for his master.
“Yeah, that must be it.”
“Well we should get him something to eat, right Grizz?”
Under his bucket, Hound can’t fight the grin. Grizzer barks happily as he rises to his feet and stretches his spiny back into the air. “I guess that settles it. You, me, and the massiff makes three” he jokes lamely.
——
“You look smug?” Tully gives Nuna a questioning look.
“I’m not smug.” Nuna hums along to the song playing in her headphones. “What’s the name of that band from Corellia? The one with the Nikto drummer?”
“Nunz, what’s with the smile?” Tully doesn’t answer her question.
“I think it’s something in Ryl-“
“Nuna!”
Nuna can’t fight the grin on her face. “Fine. I just had a good day is all.”
Tully looks unimpressed with her answer. “You spent all day slinging merch at a fete. It was hot. You didn’t sleep. You hate not sleeping. I’m going to ask you again-“
The thought of telling her friend and coworker about Hound had crossed Nuna’s mind, but she’d quickly pushed it away. It had just been a fun little distraction from an otherwise boring day. Nothing much else to say about it. They’d both been working and decided to share lunch together. He had a cute partner and, really, had she been expected not to snuggle with a cuddly mas’ when given the opportunity? The look on Tully’s face says she’s not going to give up. Nuna throws her a bone.
“I maybe had lunch with someone today but it was nothing. Really. I mean it was just a guy being super nice.” The words spill from her mouth like bolts from a repeating blaster. Tully stares for a second, then two.
“You had a date? At the fete? While you were working?”
“What? No! Absolutely not. I took my lunch break and had company, that's all.”
The Pantoran crosses her arms over her chest and tips her chin before glancing up at her friend. “Who paid?”
Uh-uh. They were not going there. “It was not a date, Tull.” She did not date that was strictly a thing of the distant past- light years ago, even.
“Who paid?” Tully asks again, undeterred.
“I-“
“He paid! Maker, girl! You had a date! Who is he? Why didn’t you mention him before? I mean, I thought we were friends. Spill!”
Thankfully, Nuna finds herself saved by the chrono. The commercial break is ending as she turns away from the steady gaze of her friend.
“We’re not done talking about this,” Tully warns as Nuna mashes the button to her mic.
“Nuna Skii getting you through the night. You know what’s better than a boy in blue?” The switch in persona is instant, years of practice allowing her to skip into sexy DJ mode without thought, “The answer is absolutely nothing. That last one was going out to the boys of the 501st. May your aim be true and your stims be strong.”
“I know I saw some of you lovelies enjoying the Festival of Life today. Why don’t you give me a call and tell me what you thought? I am oh so lonely tonight. Wanna keep me company?” She pitches her voice low. Tully rolls her eyes. The comm lines light up. The producer signals for line 2 with a quick flash of her hand.
“Nuna,” the first call starts, “we’re with the 234th and we’re your biggest fans!” There’s the sound of whooping in the background.
“You are too sweet,” Nuna coos, “anything I can play for you?”
“Uhh… something durasteel?”
“I got you, handsome. Thanks for listening!”
Nuna starts hunting down the next song as she switches callers to the next line Tully’s vetted.
“This is Nuna,” she purrs in greeting.
“Nuna? This is Sergeant Sinker with the 116th Wolffe Pack.”
“Well a-woo to you Sergeant Sinker. Were you home for fete week?”
Voices rise up in the background. Nuna stifles a giggle as she hears her caller yelling at a Boost and a Comet.
“We’re still off world. We just wanted to say we love your show and see if you could give our Commander a shoutout?”
“Well isn’t that the absolute sweetest? I think you've called in before, right? You know, I always have love for the 116th and that very surly Commander Wolffe of yours-“
“Nuna Marry me!” The voice sounds far away and is followed by the sound that she can only assume is wrestling for the comm before it clicks off.
“I’m not accepting any proposals today darlings. Why don’t we listen to that request and a quick commercial break?”
Nuna wonders if Hound is listening. She’s surprised that she hopes he is.
“So spill it, girl.” Tully doesn’t waste time as the music starts playing and the mic cuts off. Nuna sighs. Apparently she wasn’t going to forget so quickly.
“He paid,” she admits, trying to ignore the smugness she hears in Tully’s voice.
“So you had a date. Was that so hard to admit?”
Nuna still refuses to call it a date because she hadn’t dated in ages and a pretty smile and a flashy set of armor and kama weren’t about to change that. She scrolls through a datapad playlist but she can feel her friends' eyes boring into her.
“You know you're allowed to put yourself out there. Most of them are fekking disgusting but there’s a few good ones.” Tully’s voice softens. “They’re not all him.”
This conversation was not happening now and certainly not without a bottle of wine. She was not going to think about Alistar again. His days of living rent free in her head were over. Except… they weren’t.
She’d loved having lunch with Hound and Grizzer - it had been the highlight of her week so far- but each time he’d complimented her, each time he’d asked questions like he was interested and wanted to know, she thought of her ex and the way he’d weaseled his way into her life with all the same ploys. It didn’t matter that they looked nothing alike, sounded nothing alike. She was officially damaged goods and there was just no getting past that, at least not anytime soon.
When Nuna doesn’t acknowledge her, Tully turns to screening calls versus dealing with her moody DJ. Nuna listens to the screaming durasteel coming through her headphones. I wasn’t her genre of choice but a lot of battalions seemed to have a thing for it. Who was she to argue?
“Nunz?”
Nuna looks up to find Tully staring. “What?”
“You got a call?”
“One I should take on air?”
Tully’s brows skim her forehead. “Oh yeah. This one’s a doozy.”
Shaking her head, Nuna moves back to the mic, counting down to the end of the song. “Live in 3… 2… 1…. hey ladies and gents I’m back. How was that for some durasteel huh? Hope it keeps your engines revved and juices flowing. Going to the comm lines we’ve got a call from…” Nuna watches Tully mouth the name. “Grizzer?”
A series of barks erupts through Nuna’s ear phones before she can respond. Tully is disintegrating into laughter as Nuna stares wide-eyed at the mic ahead of her.
“Grizzer said he was glad he got to spend time with you today,” a smooth voice begins when the barking ends.
Nuna stumbles for a second but catches herself. “Is this- this his translator?” She teases, trying to stay in character.
“Yes, ma’am.” Hound’s warm voice rumbles through the comm and Nuna has the distinct feeling of butterflies fluttering around in her chest.
The line goes quiet for half a second and another volley of barks and a single yip respond.
“He’d like to see you again soon. He thinks you're the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. Wants to take you out for dinner. Promises he’ll bring his chaperone with him.”
Nuna catches Tully’s eye. “Can you believe this guy?” she mouths.
“Is that him?!” The pink-haired Pantoran hisses.
Nuna shakes her hands in front of her face, as if waving away her nerves.
“Is that so?” Her mind is working overtime. In the two years she’s been on air in Coruscant she’s fielded a lot of requests for dates and more than a few marriage proposals, but this is the first of its kind. She’s not really sure how to respond.
She flirts five nights a week on her show but those are faceless -often nameless- people. She’s met Hound. She’s been dazzled by his earnest smile, felt compelled to answer every silly getting to know you question he’d thrown her way this afternoon. Hound was different because he seemed to want to get to know her - short, round, plain Nuna.
He couldn’t be for real.
“I hate to break it to you Grizzer,” she can hear the massiff panting over the comm, “but I only date men with thumbs and a nice head of hair.”
Tully gives her a hard look. Yeah, she was going to hear about this later.
“Oh, well.” She can hear the sudden uncertainty in Hound's voice and a soft whine from the massiff. “I suppose he’ll catch you around then.”
She wants to tell him that she certainly hopes so because deep down she does, but it doesn’t fit with her persona. Instead she cuts the line and moves on with the show.
She’d gotten good at that. Slam those emotions deep down, lock ‘em up and throw that key away. No one could hurt you if they couldn’t get to you.
“So, anyone following the Limmie League?”
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Elias Bouchard vs. Destiny
Febuwhump, Day 4 (alternate): Identity Reveal
***
Working at the Magnus Institute is… surprisingly normal.
At best, Elias expects to see his own terror reflected in his coworkers’ eyes. At worst, he fears they will all be like Wright, their eyes cold and monstrous and hungry. He expects to be brought into a world of darkness, to face true monsters that ordinary people never imagined existed.
Were you drawn here? Against your will?—
Instead, his job is just… paperwork. Spooky paperwork, sure, but still paperwork. He talks to a lot of people on the phone, most of whom admit that the statement they gave was just a prank or a dare or whatever. Even the people who genuinely believe their experiences were real seem… more than a little unhinged.
“It saw me through the pages, it’s coming”—
He avoids James Wright, of course. It isn’t difficult. Wright spends most of his time in his office on the third floor, only occasionally coming down to visit Research. When that happens, it’s easy enough for Elias to excuse himself for a smoke break, avoiding Wright’s eyes the entire way. Elias doesn’t understand why his coworkers don’t do the same, although he imagines it would get very crowded in the alley behind the Institute if all of Research tried to take a smoke break at once.
The first time he sees his line manager return from a meeting with Wright, Elias watches her very closely, looking for… unease. Fear. Anything to reflect the way he feels whenever he so much as catches a glimpse of Wright in the halls.
She notices him looking, and smiles at him. No sign of distress in her whatsoever.
Elias returns to his work, but the moment sticks with him. She’d just spent thirty minutes having a meeting with a monster, and she isn’t the slightest bit disturbed.
Have you ever had an experience that you would consider supernatural?—
They don’t know.
All of these people who work here, who interact with Wright every day, and none of them know. Elias is the only one who sees it. Elias is… different.
Elias doesn’t get much work done, that day.
***
Two months later, Elias’s line manager informs him that he has a performance review scheduled with Mr. Wright.
His mouth is dry. “But—I thought you did my performance reviews.” He tries for a smile, but it’s weak.
“Mr. Wright likes to do an in-person review with everyone at the end of every quarter,” she says. She notices the look on his face, and softens slightly. “It’s no big deal. They usually only take five minutes or so. He just goes over the reviews I submitted, and asks if there’s anything he can do to improve your experience here.” She rolls her eyes. “Standard management stuff.”
“Okay,” Elias says, his voice faint. He has to go into that office again? Sit across from the thing that looks out from behind James Wright’s eyes, and just—what? Pretend he isn’t terrified?
Allan’s lifeless body—
What did they do with his eyes?—
“He won’t fire you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” his line manager says. Her voice is gentle, very different from the thinly-veiled annoyance she usually addresses him with. “Wright hasn’t fired anyone the whole time I’ve been here, and your reviews are fine. You’ll be okay.”
“Right,” Elias manages.
The day of the review, Elias seriously considers going to work high.
He decides against it. Wright would know, and then he’d smile and ask Elias some question that he isn’t prepared for, that no one would be prepared for.
What are you afraid of? A very sensible fear—
Elias wonders what would happen if he just—skipped the review. It would be rescheduled, probably. He could skip it again, obviously, but he isn’t sure Wright would tolerate a farce like that for very long.
So, at 2:00pm, he climbs the stairs to Wright’s office. By now, his terror has faded to a blank numbness, an acceptance that he can’t stop whatever is about to happen. He almost feels like laughing.
“Do you enjoy your work here?” Wright asks, after he’s seated and the little introductions are complete.
“Yes,” Elias says, and it isn’t even a lie. He does enjoy the work. He enjoys the variety involved in followup, enjoys chatting with total strangers on the phone. He gets along with his coworkers, and even his line manager is more tolerable than other bosses he’s had. He’d be planning his career here, if not for James Wright’s unfortunate presence. As it is, he’s just trying to survive each day.
“Is there anything about working here that you… hate?”
Elias is not going to tell James Wright that he hates him. He’s not. That’s clearly what Wright wants, leering at him as he is, but Elias refuses to engage with these games.
“Uh—The commute,” Elias says. “It’s a bit far from my flat, and taking the tube every day isn’t exactly the height of luxury.”
“Yes, I’d imagine it would be difficult for you, dealing with the unwashed masses every day.” Wright is still smiling in that cold, slightly-bored way of his. Like what he’s just said is a normal sentence, and not—
“So many gifts, and you’ve squandered them all”—
“What?” Elias’s voice is soft now.
“Do you miss the luxury?” Wright asks, his smile curling up into something more vicious, and Elias—
“Enough! Your friend died in a tragic murder, and it’s well past time you accepted that!”—
No, no, Allan knew what was going to happen, he told me—
“You had a bad drug trip. That’s all.”—
It wasn’t—I didn’t imagine this, there was a book and—
Elias gasps, suddenly back in the present. Wright’s expression is exactly the same. Elias is trembling. This shouldn’t—Wright shouldn’t be able to—What do these questions have to do with his performance?
“Are we done here?” Elias manages, his voice soft to hide its shaking.
“Not quite,” Wright says brightly. “There’s still the matter of your past reviews.” Elias’ review forms are stacked on Wright’s desk, and Wright picks them up, flicking through them. “In general, Lydia’s feedback is very positive, but there are a few concerning things here. You chronically miss deadlines, and on a few of your cases you’ve neglected to follow very promising leads.”
“I’ll try to do better.” Elias’ voice is flat, toneless. The numbness is returning.
“See that you do,” Wright says. “I hope to see improvement by next quarter.”
Elias nods.
What are they doing to his eyes?—
Wright dismisses him, and he makes his way back downstairs. He should return to his desk, return to his caseload that he’s been largely ignoring in favor of panicking about his review.
But he—can’t.
He goes to the alley instead, lights a cigarette with trembling hands. His shaky legs won’t hold him, even when he leans against the wall, so he ends up sitting on the ground.
The first sob forces its way up his throat, and then—he’s crying.
Sobbing on the filthy ground in the alley behind his less-than-respectable workplace. Pathetic. What would Father say?
Probably, “Elias, I’ll be happy to talk to you once you get help for your drug addiction.” Christ.
While he cries, Elias tries to think of what to do. He could quit, he supposes. But he really does need this job. His bank account had been full when his parents first cut him off, and there were provisions in the trust to provide for his needs when he was still in school. Now, though, his money really is running concerningly low. He needs the paycheck.
His tears are just starting to slow when the door opens. Elias starts, turns his face away, trying to hide the fact that he’s crying while hiding from his job.
“Oh—sorry,” she says. Elias recognizes the voice, they work together in Research. He can’t quite remember her name—Megan, maybe? “I can go, if you want some privacy.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” he says, and his voice wobbles. If she didn’t already know he’d been crying, she definitely does now.
She sits down on the step just outside the door. “Um—are you okay?” she asks.
“I’m fine.”
“Right. Yeah, I also like to come out here and cry when I’m feeling fine,” she says, her voice light with humor.
Elias smiles slightly, and wipes some of the wetness from his face. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“I’m all ears,” she says. “Unless you really don’t want to talk about it, in which case, keep your secrets.”
Elias doesn’t respond to that. Doesn’t know how to reply, really. It would be nice, to talk to someone about it, but—It seems cruel, to force someone else into this mess. If she even believed him.
“I just—” She takes a deep breath. “Okay, this is going to sound really weird, but… We look after each other, in Research. A lot of the people who work here don’t really have support networks in our personal lives—ghost stories attract lonely people, I guess—so we try to support each other. So… if you need someone to talk to about this, you can talk to me.
Elias takes a breath. Might as well try. “Have you—noticed anything… off, about Wright?”
“Oh, you mean his whole mind-reading thing? Sure,” she says. She doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t take a moment to consider.
“I—yes,” Elias says, a little unbalanced. She knew? “The way he—drags up all your worst memories.”
“Oh yeah, he’s like that,” she says, wincing. “Did you just have your first performance review? Those can be kind of intense.”
He nods, uncertainly. She’s talking about this as if it’s completely normal.
“You’ll get used to it eventually,” she says. “In research, we like to make jokes about it. She wiggles her fingers at him. “'Ooh, I know everything about you,’” she says mockingly, pitching her voice down.
Elias doesn’t laugh. Just stares. “Aren’t you afraid of him?”
She laughs, really laughs, like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard. “What’s he gonna do, fire me? No. Why would I be afraid of him?” Then she sobers. “Are you afraid of him?”
Something sinks in Elias’s chest. He’d assumed that they didn’t know, that Elias was unique in being able to see Wright’s monstrous nature.
Turns out he’s just unique in being frightened by it.
He shakes his head. “No,” he says. “Just—had a bad performance review.”
She nods in commiseration, and he excuses himself not long after. Returns to his desk, his heart loud in his ears. He looks around at his co-workers, all of them so happy, so careless. Why aren’t they afraid?
Why did you heed the call?—
He doesn’t know.
He can’t trust them.
***
He asks to be transferred to Artifact Storage, and his request is accepted, albeit with some strange looks. No one requests to go to Artifact Storage.
For him, it’s infinitely preferable to Research. The monsters in Artifact Storage are acknowledged, for one. Feared, treated with caution. Not allowed to run a so-called research institute. Not joked about. For two, the turnover rate is so high that he won’t have to deal with pretend camaraderie. He knows, now, that he can’t trust any of these people. He’s on his own.
For four years, he does his work, cataloging dangerous artifacts, sending the more junior assistants to do the more dangerous tasks. He doesn’t try to be good at his job, he doesn’t want to be good at his job, but after years of working in Artifact Storage, he is by far the most senior member of the staff. He starts to pick up a few tricks. He becomes knowledgeable. People respect him.
His line manager says he’s looking to transfer to the Library, and asks if Elias would like to be recommended for the promotion. Does he want to be Head of Artifact Storage?
He should say no, but some part of him that never quite managed to kill its ambition answers for him. “I’d be honored,” he says.
***
Meetings with Wright never get easier. In four years, he manages to drag up everything Elias would rather keep hidden, everything he doesn’t want to think about. Allan is a popular subject, as are his parents. And there’s always—
He cannot move. He cannot scream. What are they doing to his eyes?—
Elias doesn’t get used to it, and when Wright schedules a meeting with him to discuss his forthcoming promotion, Elias dreads it just as much as that very first performance review.
“I am very impressed with your progress,” Wright says, steepling his fingers over his desk.
“Thank you,” Elias says.
“Nearly five years in Artifact Storage,” Wright says. “I wouldn’t have guessed it, but perhaps I should have. You’re not a brave man by any means, but what does that matter, when you’re running from the most frightening thing you can imagine?”
What are they doing to his eyes?—
Elias swallows. There’s something heavy in the air. He always feels watched, in the Institute, in Wright’s office, but this is—different, somehow. Closer.
“If you were more curious, you actually might have guessed it. If you’d looked into the history of the Institute, investigated the men who preceded me in this position. You might have noticed certain similarities. You’re smart enough to have put the pieces together, but alas.”
—squandered—
“You never were the curious sort, were you? You were more interested in self-preservation than answers. Keeping your distance from anyone who might drag you away from your… destiny.”
Wright stands, and Elias flinches. “I-I don’t—” This is wrong. Something is wrong.
This is the place I know I should be—
But—
“What did you imagine was calling you here?” Wright says, and now he’s close, too close, towering over him. Elias wants to stand, want to retreat, but he doesn’t—He can’t move—
Wright places his hands on the two arms of Jonah’s chair, trapping him. Elias shrinks back, as far as he can get. “Did you think it was something noble, that you were destined to be a hero of light, to put an end to the sickness of this place? You would drive a knife into my eyes, killing the monster and setting everyone free?”
He doesn’t know what he thought. He thought he was destined for something better, to be something more than other people.
“You will be,” Wright says, leaning over him, too close. “Have you figured it out yet?”
He shakes his head wordlessly, a sob gasping from his throat.
Wright smiles. “James Wright didn’t either.”
***
When the thing that now controls his body takes over the Magnus Institute, they all think, nepotism at its finest.
Elias understands why he’s here, now. Understands the thing that called him here. Understands the many paths he could have taken, to reach a different end. Too late.
Elias’ eyes are carved out of his still-breathing body, and the Eye feasts on latent terror, cultivated so perfectly, for so long.
Elias is replaced, and no one misses him. He himself ensured that no one who worked with him knew anything about him. And everyone else is dead already.
James Wright is discarded. Elias Bouchard is taken.
Jonah Magnus lives on.
#tma#tma fic#tma spoilers#mag 193#hey i wrote an episode fic! exciting!#febuwhump#febuwhumpday4#scopophobia cw#manipulation cw#parents cw#my fic#fun fact! i had to write the first ~1500 words of this TWICE because my computer crashed and lost everything
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First impressions of episodes five and six under the readmore
The Astro Queue Car
LMFAOOOOOO at Min-Gi jumping from polite and rule-abiding The Nice One to being a smug asshole. I'm so proud of him. Passive-aggressive-ing his little heart out.
PASSIVE AGGRESSION IS AN EXTREME SPORT AND MIN-GI IS WINNING.
But yeah, jokes aside, obviously Min-Gi should be treating Ryan better. I'm definitely interpreting this a lot as Min-Gi acting in perceived emotional self defense but there's probably also some malicious "SEE, YOU WERE WRONG TO GO ON WITHOUT ME" revenge here.
I saw several other people speculating that Ryan might like the train, and I definitely thought that was plausible too, but Min-Gi almost seemed to like in this episode getting to just hang out with Ryan and be superior the whole time. But I also definitely think his anger that (as he saw it, or wanted to believe he saw it) Ryan wasn't learning lessons was legitimate. Feel like both of the guys both have a lot of paradoxical simultaneously contradictory emotions going on and both keep failing to reach the core of their issues with themselves and with each other - it feels believable that they keep ping-ponging back to 202.
LOVED the moment where they realized the astronauts are all dead. Very visually cool and creepy, and I loved Min-Gi's realization that standing still could be just as much of a mistake as making the wrong move.
Love the continuing theme of like... rushing ahead alone, and refusing to follow, can both be forms of abandonment
When the lobby of the party tower got weird and I recognized it as the moment in the trailer when the Steward appeared, I legitimately started saying "YESSSS. YESSSS," over and over again out loud. I fucking love the Steward. And Kez freezing? Is that because she's a denizen? Oh my god. I hate seeing denizens harmed but I love when they have vulnerabilities because they're artificial beings (like Atticus being turned into a ghom - we have no definitive proof but I can't imagine Amelia could do that to a human - it feels obvious to me that the orbs could only be used to "reprogram" beings that were created by those orbs in the first place). Listen, seasons two and three spoiled me with existential horror and weirdness, but apart from /maybe/ Lake hitting the invisible walls in The Wasteland they never had any "REALITY IS RIPPING APART AT THE SEAMS" horror moments the way season one did (the sun spasming in the corgi car as the Steward put its claws into that miniature world's guts? the sky behind the sky in the unfinished car? Atticus's transformation? the half-finished world being built within the engine? so good, so juicy) and I am so, so hopeful we're gonna see the Steward bring some of that tastiness this season.
The Party Car
THIS EPISODE WAS SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD
FAVORITE OF THE SEASON SO FAR
Like it delivered on multiple levels
LOVE the development for the guys, love that Ryan tried to hide the Chicken Choice Judy shirt (looks like that logo is also one of the stickers on his guitar case? but the sticker isn't nearly as big a sign of vulnerability as keeping a shirt that's too small for him to wear just because Min-Gi made it for him) and Min-Gi tried to downplay his stylophone.
I really like that Min-Gi explicitly talked about anti-Asian bias and how he was worried they'd hit a glass ceiling (if that's the right phrase to use here?) even if they were relatively successful as musicians. I was expecting this season to make an effort to build on Ryan and Min-Gi's race as part of their characters, because I've gotten the impression the writers of InfTrain do care about doing that kind of thing right, but I assumed it would stay on the level of subtext and minor incidents like Min-Gi's manager mispronouncing his name. I'm glad the show got to go there and have a character talk about racism and how it affects him.
Loved that they repeated the part with Ryan on-stage waiting for Min-Gi, but this time Ryan didn't leave while Min-Gi stayed, they had a reassuring talk between the two of them where they came to understand each other better. I /love/ when InfTrain has moments like that, where characters redo a persistent narrative/theme in their life but change the ending.
Really though I felt so fucking bad for Ryan, I was like hearing the audio from the "You can pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half" meme when he was up on stage and realized Min-Gi wasn't coming, /again/
Really liked Kez being pigeonholed as "the funny one"/"the fuckup" in her friend group. Feels like a major theme this season is characters being afraid of being perceived as failures and trying to control what other people think of them.
Almost teared up at the final moment of Min-Gi inviting Kez to join the private party in the bathroom and him and Ryan quietly, comfortably jamming together. I'm gonna cry I love them all so much
LOOOOOOVED THE TRAIN LORE THIS EPISODE
I loved getting to see a mixed denizen friend group apparently roaming the car looking for parties, that was so juicy
THE FUCKING BOOTS ARE FOR CONTROLLING PASSENGERS? THEY'RE RESTRAINING BOLTS TO GLUE THEIR FEET TO THE FLOOR WHILE THE STEWARD IS TALKING TO THEM? THAT'S HORRIBLE AND I LOVE IT!!!!
So it looks like the jumpsuits and boots DID used to be standard issue for passengers, and Amelia just got her stuff back at some point between boarding and when we saw her in the season premiere! One wtf that sucks!!!
I love that there's this creepy procedure for the Steward to like deliver messages from on high, I love how weird and disturbing it was, I love that Kez iirc said something along the lines of being used to that (i.e. her getting frozen) happening sometimes HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT, ONE?
So, the Steward seemed to have been traveling through the train issuing that message to all passengers? I think that was implied in One's broadcast? So interesting, I wonder how many other changes in procedure have been implemented that way. My first impression was that One was using it to broadcast from a different car, but I guess it wasn't explicitly clear if he was using the Steward like a remote speaker or if he was behind that mask the whole time and just didn't feel the need to flip it up to address the guys more directly.
There was a moment where the Steward paused and there was muffled dialogue but I couldn't hear it at all... I don't have closed captions turned on right now (if they'll even work if I do turn them on, I cannot emphasize enough what a piece of shit the HBO Max website is)... my first thought was that One backed away from the "mic" while he and Amelia were talking (it would make sense if this change in procedure were something Amelia talked him into somehow?) but maybe that was his two personalities murmuring to each other? Hm.
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Episode 30, the alleged halfway mark, at last!
I’m fresh out of jokes so let’s hop right into the review!
Pictured above: Characters who supposedly exist in this series
More under the cut as usual
So last week I listed the things episode 30 needed to do to make me not hate it. They were: 1) Sora had to stay with Taichi and be part of the action, 2) the other characters had to feature here and there to progress their storylines even if the main focus remained on Taichi, and 3) WarGreymon’s appearance needed to be dramatic.
Well... guess who didn’t get Bingo this episode -_____-’
I am... seriously... mind-boggled. This is bizarre. Yes, we all understand that evolutions just aren’t the big deal they were in 99 Adventure, BUT this episode DOES try to convince us that WarGreymon IS a big deal. It just fails at it spectacularly, in my opinion at least. As for the rest: Sora stays with Taichi, but he tells her to take the helpless Digimon to safety and then we don’t see her do anything but stand around waiting for Taichi. Most of the other characters don’t even get a cameo, let alone story progression. Taichi reflects on them briefly at one point but it’s unbelievably stupid. Only Koushirou has anything to do and he is STILL JUST STARING AT HIS COMPUTER.
My expectations for episode 30 weren’t super high, given the current storyline, but I’m honestly slackjawed by how BORING this episode was. They really seem to have decided to rest the entirety of the show on Taichi, and much though I love him, I just don’t think he CAN carry it by himself. Not only has he long been unbelievable as a grade school kid even for shonen anime standards, he doesn’t crack jokes, he doesn’t show personality... all he does is fight. Like, the show isn’t ALWAYS like this - I’ve legit enjoyed it a various times, and I know why - it was always when the team was together and we learned things about them and the fighting was balanced out. So I never know from one week to the next how I’m gonna feel about the new episode. But I do think this is the episode I hate the most to date. :/
We had a promising start with Garudamon still actively fighting several Megadramon at once, simultaneously barbecuing Sora.
Fortunately it’s magic so she’s not dead, nor has she fallen to death.
Taichi and MetalGreymon continue fighting the Allomon on the ground.
The mysterious Lopmon looks on with a judgmental glare, wondering why he isn’t currently being carried like a baby. Walking is hard, he wants to be carried. Taichi do your job
Taichi: cmon lopmon you have to learn to do things on your own
Lopmon: no I want to play video games
Taichi: well then I refuse to buy you any more games. if you want them you’ll have to get a job and earn the money
Lopmon: daaaad! youre ruining my life! uggh!
Koushirou keeps an eye on the misbehaving satellites.
Taichi and Sora debate what to do. It’s difficult to protect the forest Digimon while fighting at the same time, so Taichi tells Sora to bring them to safety while he fends off their enemies on his own. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLAN. Since it’s a shonen anime, I normally wouldn’t whine about this but... it was just last episode that we were shown Taich cannot cope with the combined attack of that many enemies at once on his own. He needed Sora’s help. Why he now thinks he can do it is a mystery.
Taichi can maybe handle the Allomon and Megadramon on his own, but last episode Tankmon also appeared, and this time, lo and behold, in comes Parrotmon. Sorry Taichi but you brought this on yourself.
Meanwhile Koushirou communicates with “someone from the Internet” and learns that the satellites are all rerouting to converge on the same location:
The freaking International Space Station!
Which will then surely explode! And cause lots of trouble both in space and on earth!
^Pictured: Koushirou’s “oh shit” face
^Pictured:MetalGreymon’s “oh shit” face
MetalGreymon proved to be weak to the lightning Parrotmon emits. If there’s a reason, they don’t explain, but I like the idea that he’s particularly weak to it because he’s a cyborg and the electricity disrupts his... circuits :P Then Parrotmon gets hit with a beam of dark energy and evolves!
Into Klosmon? Krosmon? IDK, IDC.
^Pictured: Taichi’s “oh shit” face
They get their butts handed to them. Taichi and Agumon fall unconscious. Rather than take the chance to deliver the finishing blow, Klosmon or whatever politely waits for them to wake up.
Taichi’s consciousness is swept into a white empty world...
where he finds the Crest of Courage looking weirdly sentient... or maybe that’s just me...
MetalGreymon just looks possessed
Taichi: Are you alive?
Agumon: Yeah... you okay?
Taichi: Yeah... uhh... well... sort of...
Not being dead = I’m still ok
So here’s where the episode really loses me... After visiting the blank world, Taichi is suddenly able to recall what happened after Devimon ate him.
This makes little sense since he seemed pretty KO’d at the time, but okay, find, he woke up long enough to see WarGreymon and now he’s remembering it, sure why not. But I hate that they did this whole “ohh he doesn’t remember!” thing and then solved it like this. Presto! Now he remembers! It’s maaaagic!
And as ADORABLE as the two of them holding hands like this and resolving to keep fighting is... I just can’t be impressed by a battle with Parrotmon. Or Klosmon or whatever it is now. There’s a reason most shows save dramatic moments and big epiphanies for battles that actually progress the storyline. It makes a much bigger impact. This just feels like someone saying “Woohoo it’s Tuesday!” and then you ask “what’s special about it, is it your birthday or something?” and they say “Nope I just felt like being excited that it’s Tuesday!”
I mean points for optimism and all but it doesn’t make a very good story.
Taichi helps Agumon walk x’D They are planning to keep fighting even like this.
And I get that the “never give up!” attitude is essential to the shonen anime protagonist, but when you literally can’t walk by yourself anymore, it’s important to take care of your health is ALSO an important message this show might consider teaching kids once in a while -.-”
In spite of his unsteady legs, Agumon’s still able to evolve again and powers up to fight Klosmon.
It uh... doesn’t go well.
The one cool thing here is the way Taichi sets about attempting to make MetalGreymon evolve. Although we already knew the children play an important role in evolving their partners, Taichi seems to really understand it now, and focuses deeply. It’s a much more active role than we’ve seen before - it seems like more than the usual “encouraging thoughts and emotional ties” spurring the evolution.
At least he’s still super cute.
So we have already seen the Crests many times, I knew that... but my theory was that, in order to reach the final evolutionary stage, they would need the help of the physical Crests. So that’s what I thought Mimi was doing with those crystals.
But Taichi is indeed about to call WarGreymon. So... I have no idea what use Mimi’s gonna find for those crystals x’D I suppose she’ll make herself and Palmon matching necklaces. Or sell them on the black market.
From her super safe hiding spot, Sora watches in awe, wishing she too were a real character on this show and not just an inconvenience as far as most of the writing staff are concerned
I love WarGreymon’s shield.
BAM. He appears. It’s dramatic. But only just.
WarGreymon defeats Klosmon and explodes the forest... Uhhh, weren’t we supposed to be protecting it?
Taichi and WarGreymon then join Sora and the forest Digimon and uh... that’s the episode.
Oh yeah, we get one more hint that Lopmon is more than just some random idiot. Lol. This episode hinted at Lopmon, reminded us that Hikari’s been abducted, and told us that the International Space Station might explode, and then addressed none of those.
The message on the bottom says that the next episode will be on January 10, meaning there will be no episode next week as per usual due to New Year’s holidays.
Next week’s episode:
Turns out Lopmon is one of the holy Digimon or something. Honestly not a surprise, I mean, it’s Lopmon. Should have occurred to me earlier.
Also we got what I think is our first named mention of Millenniumon and it looks like Hikari might find out somethig about him. So that’s cool. The rest of the episode seems to stick with Taichi and Sora’s group... The only thing I can say hopefully is that, since WarGreymon’s appeared, MetalGarurumon ought to be not too far off. So that should mean we at least get a Yamato-centric episode in the not too distant future.
Okay, a couple weeks ago I said I had some stuff to say but would wait till episode 30 to do it... so stop here if you don’t want to read me ranting :P It mostly amounts to what I complained about in the beginning: This season is just so hyper-focused on the fights and seems to treat the team aspect as an afterthought. Which makes no sense to me. Honestly, I don’t mind the excessive fighting - that’s common in shonen anime and grown up me can’t expect to be interested in the same stuff that interests 8 year old boys.
I don’t even mind the idea of Taichi’s role as main character getting an upgrade - like, in 99, he was the main character, but it was felt a lot less. Better balanced with the others’ roles, I mean. I think it’s totally okay to make Taichi a more central character and the plot focus in the new season - it wouldn’t be my choice, of course, but that doesn’t mean it’s inherently bad. But the way they’re going about it just doesn’t make sense to me. Even Taichi isn’t interesting half the time. He just fights.
Like I said before, this isn’t the way the show always is. There have been some highlights. I truly loved a few episodes, and the show does seem to have fallen into a pattern of being good for a while and then degrading into something like today’s episode. I don’t know why: budget? pandemic? or is this really, legitimately, what the show producers want to show kids? I guess, in the end, this show really may be about selling toys and selling toys only. (But, if that’s the case, I’m even more surprised that they don’t make a bigger deal about all the evolutions...)
A lot of things I liked the most happened in the very beginning - the first three episodes in particular. The characters interacted with each other. Their feelings and actions influenced each other. Fighting happened, a lot, but it wasn’t the only thing happening. I was pretty excited then. I didn’t expect to love this show like I love 99 - that’s just not possible, I’m too old and 99 is too special to me for me to trust my judgment - I was just happy to see the Adventure kids back and entertaining a new generation.
But since then it’s been a roller coaster with few highs and a lot of lows. Although it’s hard to imagine how the pandemic would have changed the storyline, episode 4 was where they paused the show for Japan’s lockdown-but-not-really, and once they picked back up the tone just seemed kind of different from the first three episodes. Not right away - I think the intro episodes for the rest of the team were pretty reminiscent of “Digimon Adventure” - but that makes sense, they had 4 ready to go and probably had made headway on the next few episodes before they closed down the studio. Anyway, that’s just a guess, since it seems like everything’s been affected by the pandemic, but with a few exceptions we have all been back to work more or less normally since June...
The thing is, there are lots of fighting shonen anime - tons of protagonists who never give up and never fall in spite of how hurt they get, and who get unlimited “evolutions” in return for their tenacity. That’s all fine. It’s the genre. But the thing is...! The thing is, those other shows, they all tend to have humor, to care at least marginally about character relationships, and understand that that’s how you build up a main character: just winning fights alone doesn’t cut it. So I just don’t know what to make of this new Adventure show. It’s FINE when the team is together. We get cool character moments and insights and even some joking around. But they KEEP SEPARATING THEM. This time they didn’t even have more than a single episode together before they were all split up again! I wonder if it’s because they’re having trouble getting all the voice actors in due to pandemic-related issues and budget issues etc. If so, HUGE bummer. Of all the years for Digimon Adventure to get a reboot... why did it have to be this miserable excuse for a year...
Le sigh.
But there’s nothing we can do about it. I’m just going to like what I like and hope for the best in the future. I really would love for the new Adventure to be popular with kids and keep that cast going. I don’t expect it to compete with the lids of Kinmetsu no Yaiba or anything. I just hope that, when we hit the final episode, we look back and say that the season was overall worth the reboot. I hate the thought of looking back and saying “well, that sure was dull.” It’s just an insult. 99 Adventure wasn’t the most unique storyline in the world, but it had a lot of uniqueness IN it, and what made it special was its treatment of the team and the child-partner relationships. The reboot doesn’t need to be exactly the same, but it shouldn’t be forgettable.
That’s why us being at the 30 episode mark concerns me. At this point we know how the show is paced and what’s it like. We can’t really argue that we just don’t know enough to make a judgmenet yet. It’s hard to believe things will suddenly change. If they do, assuming the change is for the better, I’ll be thrilled, but I’ll also feel sad that we missed out on so many chances for cool things to happen in the first half.
#digimon adventure 2020#digimon adventure:#digimon adventure reboot#digi spoilers#digimon#fizz watches digimon 2020
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Trust, Dean Winchester & Wendigos- Part 1
Word count: 3409
Summary: Rylie gets a call from investigators wanting to know about her missing friend. They turn out to be Sam and Dean hunting a Wendigo. Rylie and Dean have a crush on each other. A little fluff. This is my first time posting any fanfics!! I’d appreciate any feedback. The character Rylie in this short story is similar to my MC in a manuscript I’m working on. ☺️ (also I’m really bad at titles 🤪)
My phone vibrates in my pocket. It’s an unknown number. I answer on the off chance it could be about my missing friend, Amber.
“Hello?” I answer, out of breath from my run.
“Is this Rylie Evans?” a man’s husky voice asks.
“It is.” I try to hide the fact that I’m out of breath.
“Do you mind if I ask you some questions about your missing friend?”
“Who is asking?” I know one week in to be more guarded. Some people will prey on those of us going through a hard time.
“Agent Tyler, Tennessee Bureau of Investigation.”
“I would be happy to speak with you, agent. Could we perhaps meet in person so that I can verify you’re who you say you are?”
“Of course, name the place.”
I give him the address of a coffee shop off I-40.
Two hours later, my hands are wrapped around a warm, steaming cup of coffee that I haven’t touched. My stomach is in knots. It’s been a long few days of moments like this, going over every detail of the last time I saw Amber and what I knew about her camping trip.
The door dings, I lookup to see two tall men in suits coming through it. I make eye contact with them to make sure they notice me.
I can’t help but notice that they’re both incredibly handsome, and don’t look like your typical agents. The shorter guy, though he has to be at least 6’1’’, has a little scruff on his face. The taller guy has medium length chestnut hair.
The man with darker brown hair and hazel eyes smiles at me softly. I shift in my seat.
“Do you happen to be Rylie Evans?” I hear his slight southern drawl that is definitely not Tennessean, again, and recognize it immediately.
I stand, extending my hand, “Agent Tyler?”
“You can call me Dean. This is my partner, Sam Kramer.”
Dean gestures for me to have a seat back in the booth. I reluctantly sit down. Regretting my choice of jeans and a flannel shirt, I tug at my curly auburn hair absentmindedly. Rubbing the ends of a strand between my chipped nail polished fingers.
Sam clears his throat, “So, Rylie, do you know where your friend was last seen?”
“Yes- as I’ve gone over with the Sheriff’s Department and the Park Rangers. She was camping at South Cumberland State Park. She was last seen by a park ranger there when she parked her car. I last saw her the day before that and I helped her pack.”
“Does she usually take solo backcountry camping trips?” Dean asks.
“No. She just went through a break-up. She wanted to clear her head and be alone. I tried to go with her.”
“I’m sorry that you have to feel that guilt, then.” Dean says.
The waitress comes and the men order their coffee.
I sip my coffee that’s finally cool enough to drink.
“Why would I feel guilty? Has there been a lead?” I meet Dean’s hazel eyes.
“Well, possibly. We have an idea. The reason the TBI is now involved is because it seems there’s a bit of a pattern of missing persons in this area.”
“You guys think it’s a serial killer?” I fight back tears.
“We don’t know- there’s odd circumstances. Have you heard anything out of the norm lately? Reports of hearing someone cry for help that didn’t seem quite right?” Sam asks.
“A man is trying to lure people by pretending to be hurt? No. I don’t understand.”
I’m frustrated now, and flustered. Dean’s hands are far too close to mine on this table. I pull mine back.
“I know it’s confusing, but we can’t give out too much information. Please, stay out of the woods at night and give us a call if you hear any grumblings.” Dean says as he puts a card on the table.
“Wait!” I nearly shout. The patrons near us turn to look. I blush.
“I’m sorry. I haven’t heard anything about other people going missing. Where are those reports coming from?” I ask, lowering my voice.
Sam and Dean exchange a look. “They’re coming from all along this region. Every few months, someone goes missing in a heavily wooded area. Along the Craighead Caverns cave system.” Dean says.
I blink, not understanding. “The caves have something to do with it?”
“Maybe. It’s complex.” Sam says, giving Dean a pointed look.
“So you called me here to ask me if I had heard of anyone being lured by someone pretending to be hurt?” I furrow my brow. “Is this come kind of joke? Preying on me because my best friend is missing? Y’all don’t even really look like cops.”
I get up to leave, genuinely upset now. I throw their card towards Dean and stomp off.
When I get to my car tears are properly flowing down my face. I’m fishing through my purse for my keys and I can’t find them.
Frustrated, I dump my bag onto the asphalt, bending down to search for them.
“Looking for these?” I hear Dean’s voice from behind me.
I whirl around, heat all over my face.
“You left them in the booth.” Dean stoops down to pick up the contents of my purse.
“I can do it- thank you.” I scoop it all back into my bag quickly.
“Here you go.” Dean holds out my keys, lipstick and pulls a handkerchief from his pocket.
I look at him incredulously. “I’m fine, thank you.” I wipe the tears from under my eyes with my hand.
He raises his eyebrows and takes a step back.
“Alright, look, you’re right to be upset. We are not really TBI. We’re hunters. We’re tracking a Wendigo.”
“Hunters?? What’s a wendigo?” I back away him.
“It’s a cryptid type thing. They hunt folks. Impersonate humans. You know all those things that have a lot of folklore and discourse? It’s all real. Vampires. Werewolves. Demons. We hunt them.”
“You think my friend was killed by a Wendigo?”
“Maybe, or something like it. Whatever it is- we don’t think it’s your standard Ted Bundy.” He pauses. “I’m sorry about your friend.”
“But- no remains have been found?” I question.
“If it’s what we think it is, there wouldn’t be. Her bags and tent were recovered right?” Dean looks towards my feet, staring at my worn down boots.
“Yes.” I say. My voice breaking again. Dean still has the hankie in his large hand. I look at it instead of his face.
“The other theory is she got lost? Would she do that without any supplies?” Dean looks up from the ground, I’m still staring at his hand.
“No. She wouldn’t. She’s smart.” A tear hits my face. I look up to meet Dean’s eyes with my green tear filled ones.
He extends the hankie again, a sympathetic look on his face. I take it this time and wipe away the tears. It smells like him, woodsy with a hint of whiskey.
“Thank you.” He nods at me like he’s done this a million times before.
“The lore about Wendigos is that they make their prey last. There could be a possibility of your friend being alive. I don’t want to give you false hope, but it’s possible.”
“How on earth could you find her?”
I search his face. I have an odd sense of comfort being near him. Like we’ve met before.
He clears his throat. “We’ve done it before. You have to go to the last place you think the thing was, to gank it.”
“Y’all are gonna go camping the same place she went missing? Are you insane?”
He grins. “Many people would say that I am, yes. That’s why we wanted to talk to you. Find out exactly where she was. We’ll go tomorrow night.”
“I couldn’t describe to you where her campsite was. I’d need to go back.”
Dean waggles his eyebrows. “Yeah we kinda figured that. Look, I know it’s a lot to ask. I’ll buy you beer and dinner tonight.”
“You want me to come hunting a mythical creature that I just found out existed-with you and your partner who are strangers to me for beer and dinner?” I laugh despite myself.
“He’s my brother, actually. No, you wouldn’t hunt. You’d just show us where the campsite is and go back home. We can’t have you in danger, too.”
“No way in hell am I going out there just to show you when my friend could be alive. I’ll stay. I can handle myself.”
Sam walks out of the coffee shop and throws his hands up at Dean. “What the hell, Dean? I thought you were coming back in.”
Sam stops short when he sees us. I’ve got my hands on my hips and Dean is standing a little too close to me.
Sam looks between us with a confused expression.
“No, Sammy. Rylie is going camping with us tomorrow night.”
“She is not.” Sam immediately rejects the idea.
“Y'all need me to show you where exactly she camped. The only way I’m doing that is if I stay, too. Otherwise you can forget it.”
Sam sighs heavily. “You told her what we’re hunting?”
Dean gives a small grin to his brother, shrugging. “She wasn’t going to help us unless we told the truth, Sammy.”
“So who’s buying my beer?” I smile, despite myself. Something about these boys is comforting now that I know the truth.
“Oh, that’s all you, Dean.” Sam claps his brother on the shoulder.
“Anywhere with a good pool table?” Dean looks at me.
“Yeah, I can text you the address and meet you there later. I need to do a few things. Can I text the number on the card?” Dean hands me the card back.
“Yep. We’ll see ya then.” Dean smiles at me, his dimples showing.
Butterflies stir in my stomach as I return the smile.
“See you then.”
I open the door to my Toyota Tacoma and climb in. I watch Sam and Dean cross the parking lot to a black 1967 Impala. I smile. My mom’s first car was an Impala. Sam and Dean’s is in perfect shape, though.
Three hours later I’m back in the truck heading to Joe’s bar and grill. I pull in and notice the Impala is already there. Dean had texted me back nearly immediately and said “See ya there, sweetheart.”
I walk through the doors wearing the jeans I was earlier, and a black long sleeved blouse. I see Sam at the pool table. Dean at a high top table off to the side.
There’s not many other people in here and I scan the room for familiar faces, as I’d rather my family not know I’m hanging out with two random guys.
Thankfully, I don’t see anyone I know. Dean makes eye contact with me and stands up. He grins, walking towards me. I observe his bow legged gait and can’t help but grin back.
I’ve always been a sucker for bow legged boys in flannel shirts. His shirt is red flannel and I notice a brown leather jacket hanging off the back of his chair.
“Hey there, whatcha drinkin?” He greets me.
I smile. “Hi, should probably stick to beer.”
“I got you. You look nice, by the way.”
I blush, “Thank you.”
“Go have a seat and watch Sammy hustle. I’ll get us beer.” He gestures to the table he was sitting at. I nod and cross the room to sit. Sam waves at me.
They both seem so comfortable here, as if they’re here all the time. That strikes me as odd, because I know people will be talking about this tomorrow. We have a population of maybe three thousand.
Dean walks over with three beers and sits next to me. “Thank you.”
I open my beer and take a sip.
Dean does the same, when he’s done he leans closer than necessary to say, “Are you sure you want to come with us tomorrow? The weather is supposed to be pretty cold.”
“I’m positive. She’d go if it were me.”
I flip my hair off my shoulder to my back as I take another sip of beer. Dean watches as I do this and I can see his jaw clench. I feel heat in my cheeks.
“How long have y’all been friends?”
“Since highschool.” I pick at the label on my beer bottle and suddenly feel so guilty for flirting with this guy when I should be focused on finding Amber.
“I hope we can find her. We see enough loss. It’d be nice to help a reunion happen.” Dean looks over to his brother.
I’m trying to not get choked up again so I follow his gaze just in time to see Sam win. The man he was playing looks upset as he hands over the money.
Sam walks over to us, “Money for dinner.” He grins.
“Hunting monsters doesn’t pay well?” I ask, eager for a subject change.
“Not jack.” Dean mutters.
“We do it because no one else does.” Sam explains.
“We lost our parents to monsters.”
“And too many damn friends.” Dean says. “That’s why I want to find yours, Rylie.” Dean stands and puts his hand on my shoulder.
“I hope we can.” I look up at him.
“Another round?” My beer is hardly touched but I agree and ask for a burger and fries too.
I quickly finish my beer while Dean is at the jukebox.
“Oh, here we go.” Sam smiles.
“Does he have bad taste in music?”
“Not bad, just, mostly dad rock.” Sam chuckles, his big dimples showing.
I smile back. Sam seems like a sweet guy. Then I hear Blue Oyster Cult start playing and I understand what Sam means.
Dean comes back, “Don't worry I picked several we can dance to, later.” He winks at me.
I smile back, blushing again.
“Since when do you dance?”
“Shut up, Sam. I love to dance.”
The next hour or so flies by and I find myself more and more comfortable with them. I have a huge crush on Dean, especially after he’s had a few drinks and being goofy.
I put a Taylor swift song on the jukebox and Sam is laughing.
“You still wanna dance to T-Swift?” I ask, holding out my hand.
Dean groans. “Fine. Because you asked.” He smiles.
He takes my hand and pulls me closer to him, hands on my waist.
I gasp at the quick change of movements and try to even my breathing. I look up at him. I’m 5’4 so my head barely reaches his chest. I try not to let my mind wander to how good it would feel to rest my head there.
It has been years since I’ve had this much genuine fun with a guy. I put my arms around his neck and sway to the music with him, smiling.
“See? I can get down to some T-Swift.” He smiles, gazing into my eyes.
I swallow. I want to lean up and kiss him. At that exact moment, someone changed the song to George Strait.
“Damn. We were just getting our stride.” Dean says.
“We were.” I reply.
His hands are still on my hips. He gives them the tiniest squeeze before he lets go, but I noticed it.
“Dean. I don’t want to be a buzzkill but we do have a long day ahead tomorrow. We really should get some sleep.” Sam says when we return to the table.
“You’re right.” I say.
Dean looks bummed. “Fine.”
“I’ll go pay.” Sam says.
I walk towards the door and realize I’m probably too buzzed to drive.
Dean opens the door to the parking lot and the cold hits us like a wall.
“Holy shit.” I say wrapping my arms around myself.
“Where’s your coat?” He asks.
“Didn’t bring one.” I grin.
“I’ll go start your car and you can sit in ours while it warms up?”
“That’s sweet. But about that, I don’t think I should drive home.”
He grins. “Too many beers?”
“A few.”
“We can take you home. Or you can bunk with us. I’ll make Sammy share his bed.”
I’m so tempted to take him on that offer. “You can take me home, thank you.” I smile.
I think about my mom seeing a classic car with two beautiful men in it dropping me off. We don’t live together, but I’m right across the street from her. I cringe at the thought.
“On second thought maybe I’ll bunk with y’all.” I say once we’re in the warmth of the Impala.
“What made you change your mind?” Dean turns around to look at me.
“My mom lives across the street. I’d rather y’all bring me back to my truck in the morning and then meet you where y’all are staying to go to the campsite.”
“Don’t want to explain who we are to your mom?”
“Yeah, I don’t think that conversation would go over too well.” I snort.
Sam opens the passenger door.
“My god it’s cold.” He mutters.
“Oh, hey Rylie, I didn’t know you were riding with us.”
“Too buzzed to drive, Sam.”
“And bunking in my bed.” Dean grins at his brother.
“What?”
“Sam she’s been through a lot the last week. This will be easier for her.”
“I’m sorry to intrude.” I almost whisper.
“Oh no, you’re okay. I just don’t want to have Dean the blanket hog in the bed.”
“I’m not opposed to sharing your bed.” I look at Dean.
Sam clears his throat and Dean has a shocked expression on his face.
“Oh-okay.” Dean stutters, blushing.
I smile, happy I finally surprised him.
“I can get my own room.”
“Don’t be silly, Sam. I’ll be fully clothed.”
At the motel, I turn on the TV and try to find something.
“I’m gonna head to the gas station to get supplies.” Sam says abruptly, walking out the door.
I blush. “He didn’t need to do that.”
“He didn’t?” Dean asks, sitting down next to me, our thighs touching.
I look over at him. “I’m not trying to get in your pants, Dean. Not that I’m saying no forever. I really like you, if you can’t tell. It’s just not the right time.” I put my hand on his knee.
“I get it.” He sighs.
I put my head on his chest and sigh. It feels like I thought it would, firm but soft. He smells so damn good.
He runs a hand through my hair. I pull back and look up at him. He moves his hand from my head to my chin, tilting it toward him. I close the distance between us and kiss him softly. He kisses me back, deepening the kiss. I move my hand up his leg slightly.
He breaks the kiss. I blink up at him, blushing. “Did I do something wrong?”
He chuckles. “Hell, no. It was too good. I need to break if we’re supposed to sleep next to each other tonight.”
“I don’t mean to lead you on-“
Dean puts his finger to my lips.
“You aren’t leading me on. You told me you didn’t want to have sex tonight. I wanted to kiss you. Even if you hadn’t prefaced it, we just met. I had no expectations.”
I hug him tightly without thinking.
“Thank you.” I whisper.
“You don’t need to thank me for respecting you. I’m sorry someone else made you feel like that.” He strokes my hair.
I lean up and kiss his cheek.
“I am actually super sleepy.” I say.
He chuckles. “Me too. Do you want to sleep in one of my shirts? I’m sure it’d be long enough.”
“Sure. Thanks.”
He rummages around his bag, tossing me a worn T-shirt. I go to the bathroom to change. It comes well below my butt and I don’t feel too exposed.
I climb in bed where Dean already is. I pull back the covers and see he didn’t change.
“You’re sleeping in jeans?”
He clears his throat. “Yeah, when we’re on the road I don’t change. I like to be ready.”
I nod, knowing there must be a reason behind that. He holds out his arm in a gesture for me to lay with him. I smile and scoot over. I fall asleep faster than I have since Amber went missing.
#dean winchester#dean winchester fanfiction#self publishing#new adult#romance#supernatural#supernatural family#spn
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[PART 3] S A N ⇲ royal series AU
RECAP: san is king of eden, you’re queen of elos under one nation with 7 other lone kings. still on a forced bonding retreat with king san, you arrive to the kingdom of aurora under mingi and seonghwa’s advisement. Though that advisement becomes a little moreso...
• series masterlist •
⇩ PART THREE ⇩ click me to read part two.
“Welcome to Aurora!”
You’ve been here countless times and sometimes you forget how far away each Kingdom is from one another. Though Mingi and you are close, you only ever see each other on days that allow.
You’re escorted out of the carriage and greet Aurora’s people kindly. King San was known for his nobility and close riches to Mingi’s kingdom so people do diligence to pay their respects. It wasn’t show stopping either that they seemed happy to both your visits.
The three of you enter the castle grounds of which Mingi stayed, his hand maid handing him a scroll of tasks.
“First things first.” The taller man clapped his hands. “Let’s get changed for cropping. Rice— a team building exercise Seonghwa has recommended for the both of you.”
“I own no land in my kingdom to mill rice, Mingi.” You rubbed at your temples. “This is unnecessary.”
“Au contraire mademoiselle,” he speaks to you in French for no apparent reason. “It’s important to keep humble and learn trades of other kingdoms. And see? King San has no objections and you should follow in his footsteps.”
“He’s walking to the bathroom.”
“Not literally!”
You chuckle. “Fine. But if I break a nail milling rice today in your territory, Song Mingi, so help me god I will rip you up.”
“You have my word, your highness.”
Upon changing for the task at hand, you tie up your perm in a messy bun and hold a basket to your hip with the milling tools required. Milling rice couldn’t be that hard. And corsets and silk may be a little constricting working with dirt and plants. You liked to keep modesty in your standards though you hold high social class. And your soldiers saw nothing of it, used to you in particular choice of silk. The other kingdoms men seemed wary by your choice of scrap clothes and whisper empty gossips to each other while Mingi gawks.
“People may get the wrong idea, Queen y/n.” He hurries to your side as you prance around his garden unscathed. “Your highness, maybe you should—“
“Let them whisper about, Mingi.” You wave him off picking tomatoes and eggplants off their stems for supper later. “It’s meaningless words anyway. They mean no harm. It’s important to keep.. humble.”
The red blushes at your mimicry. “Y-yes but don’t you think—“
“I think nothing of it.” You shrug him off looking to a young woman behind him. “Take these to the kitchen and cook up a marvelous soup for us tonight. Make enough for plenty, please.”
The maiden that follows Mingi smiles in a curt bow before taking what you requested not even waiting for the dismissal of her King. Mingi groans in response attempting at it again.
“People may assume you are too humble, your highness.”
“Well husking rice would ruin satin.” You breeze him off as a just-as-humble looking San joined you in a matching brown weaved outfit. “And it seems that I’m not the only one to think so.”
San, in the middle of tying his pants, bows hastily at the both of us. “I hope I didn’t keep you both waiting too long.”
Mingi face palms at that. “Let’s just begin. Before anyone else starts thinking I’m the one not humble enough.”
The lot of you started husking, it coming fairly easily to you though San seemed to be having trouble keeping the rice separate from the husks, lots of bits and pieces falling out. Mingi left to do his bidding being at his own Kingdom, leaving two foreign nobles in the watchful eye of his subordinate. San picked up good things and had enough individuality to adapt well. Although keeping gentle hands was not something he was good at being a King who also lead his soldiers in battle.
You sigh dusting off your dress, rushing over behind San. “With those hands, you’ll lose all your kernels of rice.”
You lace your fingers in his, his body tensing underneath you. “Never been embraced by a woman before?”
“Not from behind.”
Cheeks flaming at his sexual taunt, you help him ease his fingers nonetheless, tossing the basket lightly in your intertwined hands.
“It takes a delicate touch to separate the bad and the good.” You mumble behind him.
While slowly loosening your fingers around his, you find that he was doing it on his own. More attent on your help than anything else.
“Do you always help men like this or is this just going to be an us thing?”
Finally standing from your spot to cock a hand to your hip. A position you found natural around his attitude. “No, I don’t do this with other men. And no, this is not going to be an us thing.”
“Am I interrupting?”
A throat cleared from behind you and a guilty feeling boils as if you were just caught doing something bad. While Mingi’s glaring holes at San, you definitely can’t help the guilty feeling at all.
“I was only helping him.” You defend walking towards Mingi’s strong stance.
“Yeah by caressing my—“
“Is there something you should be telling me, Queen y/n?” Mingi whispers leaning down to you with fury blatant in his eyes. “First you wander off to search for San in an empty field. You two clearly past wanting to be well acquainted, now I’m finding you arms around him like a Shakespearean play with no script.”
You sigh. “Nothing is going on between San and I.”
“Well it sure looks like it!”
Mingi looks back at the King behind you who still seemed out of touch, talking mindlessly with the mentor before you’re being dragged out by none other than Song Mingi himself. You find yourself trudging in hesitation shocked by his sudden abrasiveness.
You look at him in horror before he holds you steady behind a tall pillar. “I don’t like seeing you holding him in such high regard, y/n, I’m worried.”
Y/n?
“Mingi, what is going on with you? Are you mad? How can I possibly hold him in a strong regard after what happened to my father?”
He seemed to have thought through his sudden apprehending anger and simmered down. Still unsatisfied, he trembles with a clenched jaw avoiding your eyes.
“Oh god, don’t tell me you’re jealous Mingi.”
He snaps his eyes at you porcelain skin going pink. You can’t help the endless butterflies from his surprising reaction to your joke, your hands going up to cup his face. You run your thumbs against his bloated pout and mimicked it in empathy.
“You have no reason to envy San’s relationship with me. It’s pure discouragement. Believe me.” You insist, the King of Aurora going weak under your touch.
“I don’t like watching you embrace another man.” He shudders holding at your hands. “Needless to say, and maybe the other kings have the same thought as I, it bothers me to see our princess in someone’s arms other than ours.”
“Well when I’m wed, you may not have the choice.”
“Though I hope it’s soon,” He sighs reluctantly sending you a kind smile. “I’d want it to be with someone I’d prefer.”
“Please don’t observe us like something we’re not.” You mutter about San as you two walk in return to your post. “He’s a King I’m reading for our benefit. You said so yourself to befriend the enemy. I’m just doing what’s considered right.”
“Following your heart was never hard for you, Queen y/n.”
You stop at that smiling broadly at his change of honorific. “Speaking of Queen, you called me y/n for the first time without honorifics.”
He stutters his next words. “I-I was startled by my own emotions. I—“
“Don’t brush it off.” You link your arms with his, feeling somewhat fit by his side. “You know I’ve always hated being addressed formally. Especially with you.”
“It’s my honor and duty to due respect.”
“Though I hold you in the highest regard I don’t find that necessary.”
“Regardless.”
You hum leaning against his arm only to be met with his Baron and San present with no emotion.
“Well don’t you two look quaint.” A look of loathe appeared and smeared the smile of King San when he glanced at the space between you and Mingi. “I’m sure you both caught up with your disagreements and settled them so.”
@atinybitofau
p.s rough edit lol.
a/n: I’m gonna take a quick hiatus from my oneshots cause I gotta recuperate ideas lmao. but I’ll make this pretty priority so ya’ll will see this series pop out a lot. just a quick fyi. love ya guys!
#ateez#ateez x reader#side!mingi💞#we stan an ateez love triangle#fix on bois#ateez choi san#ateez san#choi san#san#ateez royal au#san royal au#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez au#san x reader#choi san x reader#san imagines#san scenarios#san au#choi san imagines#choi san au#royal au#san royal au part 3#bed of roses#mingi x reader
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TRIVIUM - PART 3 - DEBUT MINI ALBUM [2016]
TRIVIUM is the third and final unit to debut from Triptych’s first generation with their debut mini album PART 3. With a significantly more hip-hop and rap-focused sound in comparison to the two previous Triptych units, TRIVIUM brings a new layer of talent and meaning to the super group. Covering hard-to-swallow topics like gender roles and societal double standards, TRIVIUM hits hard and makes waves.
△ TRACK BY TRACK.
1] BERLIN
The decision to make BERLIN their debut song was a power move. Not only does the song have a very distinct and recognizable sound that drags listeners in, but it sets the vibe for TRIVIUM’s energy.
All three members had a hand in writing this song.
The line distribution can be found here
2] SAVAGES
In this hiphop-influenced track, TRIVIUM has a back and forth debate between rappers Van and Cal over if human nature is inherently good or evil, giving examples of highs and lows in society.
Doubled with a strong chorus, thought-provoking versus, and irony twisted into more than a half the lines, this song can be seen as an ironic commentary on what people see as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’.
Written by all three members.
3] WHO I AM
Trivium talks about their past and how it had shaped them into who they are today. This song is like the last goodbye to their old selves, ready to let go of the past and move on.
This track also acknowledges that admitting ignorance isn’t something that you should be ashamed of, as you can only change as long as you’re willing.
Written by all three members
4] BACK OFF
Ura, the only woman in this subunit, took it upon herself to write a feminist anthem for their album. It’s basically a response to all the times Ura has had a man be patronizing towards her. Van and Cal act on the track as supporters, but the song is mostly Ura focused.
The first song on the album where you actually hear Ura rap and get to see her lyricism play out. One of Ura’s lines mentioned snapping kneecaps. Everyone’s afraid of her now.
Written by Ura
5] BITE
This song is all about wanting someone that’s not good for you, but you keep coming back.
The non-gender specific pronouns in the song show that this song can be about any type of relationship, regardless of gender or if it is a romantic or platonic relationship.
Written by Van and Cal
6] MEN/WOMEN
All about gender roles and how they’ve hurt them as they’ve grown up. Since they are the first co-ed unit from Triptych, they took it upon themselves to address double standards/gender roles.
This one caused a bit of a discussion, especially since it directly calls out the double standards in the kpop industry.
Written by all members.
△ THIS ERA.
So... Trivium easily got the most attention out of Gen 1.
Mostly because they’re a co-ed duo that covers topics that aren’t discussed super openly.
But also because they’re really good rappers. Like, all of them. And their stage presence is really intense.
Ura doesn’t rap as much as she would have liked to this era, as they needed her on vocals to break up the tracks a little since neither Van or Cal can sing very well.
Trivium were given the title ‘un-idols’ - which is both a term of endearment as well as a critique, depending on who uses it - because of their unwillingness to play up the role of a significant other at fan signs as well as their general aura.
Idols are supposed to be like... ‘perfect’ at all times, and Trivium just doesn’t do that? Like they wear the worst outfits to the airport, fansites have pictures of them waiting in line for street food (and then chowing down on said street food), and the way they talk to fans is so casual?
This attitude turned off some fans, but it brought in a whole new wave of support, especially from international fans who felt like Trivium were relatable.
The most popular member this comeback was easily Ura. Not only was she the only girl, so she visually stood out, but she was the one that often went viral for fan-zoning fans who asked her to be romantic with them.
She also received the most criticisms, but she really didn’t care. She wasn’t going to make herself uncomfortable for the sake of others.
Cal got a good amount of attention too because of his accent and his looks. Cal has a very slight British accent when he says certain Korean words and people just... lost it over that.
Van kinda sunk to the background this era, but he doesn’t really mind. He just wanted the kids to have fun and have their time to shine. :)
As far as numbers go, Trivium breaks records for Triptych by gaining 10 million music video views in the first 24 hours as well as having BERLIN chart on Melon upon release.
△ ERA FASHION.
I promise this is the last era that Triptych wears color-coded outfits. I promise. The company was trying to see how the color-coded concept would work and gen 1 was the guinea pigs.
When Artychs saw how lacking Trivium’s debut outfits were.... they almost rioted at HBH. They already were accusing HBH of picking favorites and not giving Trivium equal treatment.
But the truth is... Trivium picked their debut stage outfits. Yes, they’re bland, but Trivium wanted their debut to feel like friends were finally meeting up for the first time, hence the casual clothes.
The button up shirt fits tho.... that made a few bitches go feral. That was an exquisite serve.
The award show fits were nice too! Ura stunned bitches pulling up with her short blazer dress and fishnets. Van had really cool dress pants with designs on them and Cal wore a color that wasn’t black! It was monumental!
As far as hair goes, Ura had short black hair with wispy bangs.
Van had black hair and almost always wore a wide headband on his hairline.
Cal’s hair was usually just styled into tousled brown curls and called a day.
△ FANDOM BEHAVIORS.
I’ve explained triptych stan culture before (basically the fandom is kinda divided? like some fans only support certain subunits, others support all of them, etc.) but I think Trivium was what really made that divide clear.
Trivum just sounds different than S.O.T and Tromme, there was gonna be people who didn’t vibe with their style. But that’s kinda the point of Triptych, to like.. get different sounds involved in their discography.
And some gross fans didn’t like that Trivium made it clear that they don’t want to be sexualized by fans, so they just decided to ignore them and focus on S.O.T and Tromme, who hasn’t spoken out about being sexualized by strangers online.
People also started calling Van a ‘smol bean uwu’ (hello 2016) and started like... infantalizing him?? even though he’s a grown ass man??? does he LOOK like dan OR phil to any of you????????
Fans also started calling Cal a fuckboy and played him up as this big meme just because he’s goofy. I will never forgive y’all for that.
Pick Mes hated Ura because if anyone’s ‘one of the boys’, it’s Ura and they were jealous. But she literally has to be one of the boys. It’s apart of her job.
But the artychs that do stan Trivium are probably some of the chillest people ever. They are literally just vibing. Trivium stans are dubbed as the ‘stoners’ of the fandom as a joke.
And OT9 stans overpower solo stans by a LONG SHOT, so don’t worry! Trivium received more love than hate from artychs. There were just a few bad eggs that ruined shit.
#kumokocnet#aeskocnet#peachykocnet#pikurin#mochikocnet#kocsociety#triptych.disc#trivium.disc#kpop additions#oc kpop group#kpop oc#oc kpop#kpop idol oc#fake kpop group#oc kpop idol#idol!oc#idol!au#fake kpop idol#kpop au
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HOW DO YOU SLEEP? (KTH X Reader)
Tags: Friends with benefits to lovers au, bad behavior, Taehyung is kind of a dick, mentions of the reader being unattractive, insecurity, sex/ hook ups mentioned.
W/C: 1.5k
Taehyung has a one night stand with a girl, and it’s the best night of his life- literally makes him almost pass out from how good good it is, but the girl...definitely doesn't fit the normal standards of beauty.
You’re aware of this, you know that you’re not idol attractive, but Taehyung never makes you feel bad about it or insecure. at least not when you’re having sex.
Though in the industry would call you ugly and anyone else would just call you average. taehyung can’t get enough of you especially once you start hanging out as regularly as he can after you blow his mind (sometimes literally).
and it’s not just the sex sometimes, its the way you play with his hands after he’s done, the way that you sit with him in his studio, the way he genuinely has fun with you feeling lighter than he does like- ever, when you occasionally do something that's not sex- and meet up more frequently with explicitly non-sexual things planned.
And Taehyung is like an inch away from saying he’s in love with you. But here’s the thing, you haven't met the boys yet. And Taehyung is a little bit worried about the judgement from the rest of his group and the media. i mean it's just a natural thing to be worried about right, natural to be afraid of the judgement of who he’s with?
He’s used to ushering you out in the early hours of the morning which definitely isn’t a kind thing to do-he knows that. Hates himself every single fucking time he does it and makes sure to text you back after. taehyung has lost track of how many times he’s said he’s sorry.
He makes up for it in better ways, like treating you to fancy dinners in delicious restaurants that it usually takes years to get reservations in, and more than a few designer handbags in exchange for his less than okay behavior.
Taehyung is a little too good at apologizing, and you’re a little too- maybe not in love with him yet, but sometimes when you have a spare morning, when you can linger and brush his bangs back from his forehead- you think one day you could be.
most of the time- you and taehyung have so much fun together, you’re always giggling and laughing and being ridiculous even in the middle of sex or a convenience store after he’d forgotten to buy condoms and made a stupid joke about blowing them up into balloons.
on the bad days when he can’t sleep- you’re the one he calls, sometimes you don’t even have sex, sometimes you just go on long walks with taehyung holding onto your hand like its the only thing keeping him tethered to earth.
He’s about to introduce you to the guys, to ask you to come out with them to a family dinner. but he happens to but dial you at the worst time when he’s talking to the others about you- just jimin- his best friend for ages. confessing all of his fears, how much he thinks he loves you how happy you make him.
but you don’t hear any of the good parts only the bad, listening in with taehyung unaware, “she’s obviously not the best looking, but man, you have no idea, sometimes at night it’s like i dont even want to sleep because it’s so good. obviously i’d already be dating her if she where a little prettier, and i know it’s going that way anyway- but i’m just unsure about the judgement minnie,”
“Can you show me a picture- oh tae” his sympathetic voice, and then taehyung's “oh shit for some reason i accidentally called her” where he listens, says your name a few times on the other side of the phone before he registers that there must be something wrong with the phone and hangs up himself.
That night when Tae inevitably booty calls you, you’re very careful to make it the best night ever for him. bringing out all the stops, giving more than you get. But also to detach yourself from the situation, this- this isn’t about love or wanting, with every roll of your hips, with every inch that taehyung falls apart- it feels more about getting even. About proving something to him.
When you’re done, you get up right after, you don’t linger in his arms even though they look so so inviting. You know the strength they hide and how safe you can feel in them but you don’t want it anymore. Taehyung’s so hazy and fucked out that he only really realizes you're not coming back to bed when he watches you stumble back into your high heels. “aren’t you gonna stay and cuddle?”
“Nope, see you around taehyung,” he pouts, a little upset, his arms feel vacant without you in them but yeah- he understands why you wouldn't want to say when he has to leave so early in the morning for practice. you’d barely be able to sleep before he had to wake you up and sneak you out.
He lies awake in bed, thinking about how you only ever really call him tae and not by his full name, not since you’d met almost a year ago. and he suspects something might be wrong, but goes to sleep he has a full schedule tomorrow after all. maybe he can take you out for coffee tomorrow or something, or maybe dinner the next day.
On the way home in your car, you have to pull over and stop because of how you're crying- because really- fuck kim taehyung for making you feel insecure, for making you feel like you where only worth sex. you’re 100% certain that you never want to see his face again.
he knows something must be up when you start dodging his calls, when he gets left on read night after night, but Tae can’t stop trying, can’t stop double and triple texting.
I need you so bad baby maybe he really was addicted
Are you just going to leave it like this? at least tell me if we’re through so i know if i should be hopeful or crushed.
and then the inevitable begging, won't you just talk to me? please tell me what i did wrong so i can make it better
but you dont respond, not for the first month, you’d intended that night to be the last, and you know that you’ll just fall back into him like all the other planets and girls in his orbit if you see him again. (You don’t know that taehyung was just seeing you, only hooking up with you through the entirety of your relationship- if you could even call it a relationship.)
then you accidentally run into each other and he accuses you of ghosting him, kind of a little sad and a little petty. And you blow up about how he never treated you right and there are cameras and videos of you screaming at each other in lotte mart from a bystanders and it goes to the media and viral almost instantly.
And suddenly your social media accounts are blowing up with people wondering who you are and criticizing your appearance, which is exactly what taehyung didn’t want to happen.
Call him shallow about being honest about your looks but he knew what the media was like. how it could pick apart even the best looking and most genuine people out there and he didn’t want that to happen to you.
Taehyung goes on vlive to confront it, and manages to talk through it all without specifying anything, without addressing you.
“Would you guys believe me if I told you that I’ve grown over the past year? in the last year, I've realized that love isn’t just about late nights or looks, but it’s about intimacy and another person's soul matching yours. I strongly believe in soulmates and I think i've met mine.
“I think maybe in the past, i've acted in a bad way because of my predispositions and by what i was taught was important. looks- looks aren’t important in a relationship, and i know that now, what’s really important is who a person is, and how well their soul matches yours. i want to teach you guys this. Maybe you won’t make the same mistakes as I did, and you’ll fix how you think before it’s too late.”
You watch the vlive- of course you do, you need to know what he’s saying to his fans, and you’re surprised as the broadcast ends. And suddenly, you're reconsidering it all, reconsidering taehyung, even as your phone next to you dings, with a text from taehyung.
I know it’s too late for us, but i believe that if you love someone then you owe it to them to say it and tell them... so this is me telling you i love you okay? you understand that it’s him telling you that. you fiddle with your phone for a minute. After a second you send something back to him, and shoving your phone away from you on your bed hoping you don’t regret this.
Where are you right now? we need to talk.
#kim taehyung x reader#kim taehyung#taehyung#v#bts drabble#bts#bangtan sonyeodan#bangtan boys#bangtan#bts fanfic#taehyun x reader#bts angst#bts fwb au#bts fanfiction
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https://rwdestuffs.tumblr.com/post/185845690162/taiyang-is-not-the-best-dad
Dudeblade, stop pretending you’re being critical.
I’m not here to say that Taiyang is abusive. Far from it.
I’m here to say that he’s neglectful.
Issue is that you’re gonna treat ‘neglectful’ as ‘abusive’ so this is just technicalities you’re hiding behind.
Because of things that are tangentially related to Taiyang but are actually more indicative of yourself.
“He was depressed.”
Yang and Ruby just lost their mother. What about them?- They need as much emotional support as possible, and if what Yang says is accurate, then Tai put his own trauma and issues ahead of his kids.
You know Dudeblade, you bitch about Taiyang talking about how PTSD despite not knowing it-
And yet here you are, talking about depression despite not knowing a thing, seeing as depressed people breakdown UNWILLINGLY due to stress.
And yet you think it’s okay for you to do it.
There’s very little indication that Tai got a sitter, especially with what Yang says later in Volume 5.
So we’re also suppose to think Summer willingly died to get away from Yang, considering that her phrasing Summer’s death portrays it as such?
Better start bitching at Yang then.
The fact of the matter is that Taiyang isn’t a great dad. He’s not the worst (That (dis)honor goes to jacques), but the way people think that he can do no wrong.
Numerous people have pointed out how flawed his advice to Yang was. How he projected Raven onto Yang, how he called the manifestation of Yang’s soul a temper tantrum, and how he used the “What if you miss” argument as to why Yang shouldn’t use her semblance.
On top of all of that, Yang clearly doesn’t feel comfortable in confiding him with her nightmares at all. If Taiyang had actually reestablished himself as someone Yang could trust and depend on, then she would have talked to him about her nightmares.
Taiyang still laughs about how he tricked an immigrant into cross-dressing with the Beacon professors as if he were still a frat boy. The Braincells joke was something that Yang should have countered with an equally scathing joke if that was really “how they functioned” as so many taiyang stans keep screetching out.
A. And yet, if we look BEFORE Volume 3, we see people PARROTING WHAT TAIYANG SAID. And considering these people all also happen to portray Yang as her worst flaw being ‘she’s too nice’ (AKA see her as a Mary Sue): it’s more indicative of your confirmation bias.
B. Again, from people who took Taiyang criticizing Yang personally and idolize her.
C. Yeah and yet you call me a whiny fanboy despite me and Yang having similar personalities. Bet you wouldn’t hesitate to call my Semblance a temper tantrum.
D. ‘Taiyang: Because not everyone else's is basically a temper tantrum. (laughing and crouching by her side) I'm serious! Once you take damage, you can dish it back twice as hard, but that doesn't make you invincible! It's great when you're in a bind, but what happens if you miss? What happens if they're stronger? What then? Now you're just weak and tired! You've always been one to burn brighter than everyone else, whether it was with your smile, or, well, I remember your first haircut.’
We call that cherry picking.
E. She directly went to where she heard her father was after having her only on screen nightmare. That makes no sense.
F. ‘Port: And, and, and then, in comes Qrow, wearing a skirt! I was just a TA, I-I didn't know what to do, so I just... I just left the room to laugh! Yang comes to the kitchen door while the three laugh. Taiyang: We told him it was a kilt! He'd never worn a uniform before, so he didn't know! Oobleck: That is terrible! What is wrong with you!? Taiyang: Hey! The girls all said he had nice legs! I did that jerk a favor! Besides, that's not even the best part! See, then we- ‘
Not only was it NOT just Taiyang but the laughter comes from how he BACKFIRED.
G. ‘Yang: You... jerk!
Yang playfully punches Taiyang, and the father and daughter laugh together. ‘
And in the same scene:
‘Yang: What is that supposed to mean? Do you want me to just pretend like nothing happened? I lost a part of me. A piece of me is gone. And it's never coming back. Taiyang: You're right. It's not coming back. But that doesn't have to stop you from becoming who you wanna be. You're Yang Xiao Long, my sunny little dragon. Taiyang puts his hand on his daughter's shoulder. Taiyang: You can do whatever you put your mind to. So whenever you're ready to stop moping, and get back out there, I'll be there for you. ‘
Mind you, she acted like her twice widowed, four time abandoned father who, if we’re just gonna take abstances as proof, has never shown to have his own parents around. And his response was ‘you’re so great.’
Your arguments fail when you actually KNOW what happened.
‘Ghira is a better dad.
“OH! BuT gHiRa LeT bLaKe JoIn ThE wHiTe FaNg!” I hear taiyang stans screaming and typing.
And Tai let his five-year old daughter go out and nearly get herself and Ruby killed by grimm.
If you’re going to use that “Blake joined the WF” argument as to why Ghira isn’t a good dad, then tai stans are banned from trying to refute the “Tai let Yang go out with Ruby to look for Raven” argument forever.
Hmm...
‘ Yang: (off-screen) I waited for Dad to leave the house, put Ruby in a wagon, and headed out. I must've walked for hours. I had cuts and bruises, I was totally exhausted, but I wasn't gonna let anything stop me. When we finally got there, I could barely stand, but I didn't care; I had made it. And then I saw them. Those burning red eyes... ‘
Nope, by your own standards Ghira still sucks. In fact, considering Ghira had ONE kid, had his WIFE around and yet he, by your standards, let Blake into rallies that could have gotten her killed, let her be near a psycho like Adam and manipulated by Sienna.
I mean, we could use context to logically justify that-
But you don’t do that for Taiyang so I have no obligation.
Again: This isn’t to say that Tai is a bad dad. But if we’re supposed to say that “He’s trying, and that’s what makes him a good dad” then that’s a pretty low bar for fictional dads everywhere.
More like “Yang and Ruby are the most well adjusted members of Team RWBY even though both Blake and Weiss had both their parents. And speaking of said parents: All Jacques has done on screen is control Weiss and Ghira had every advantage that Taiyang did and yet Blake was worse off while the twice widowed, single father who had to raise two kids while providing for them have come out with the least amount of issues.”
That’s actually a pretty fucking high bar, especially since the usual bar for fictional dads is ‘joke of a parent, abusive, dead, deadbeat or evil’.
Next thing you know, they’ll be using the “Jacques was at least there for his kids, which makes him better than Raven.” argument.
Speaking of the Bird Bitch-
How come you don’t shit on her? She did everything Taiyang did but worse while also taking a leaf of Jacques’ ‘Parental and Emotional abuse’ to the SAME KID and is even the root of the issues Taiyang did.
‘But people don’t treat her as a good mom!’ Says the guy with the ‘Savivor Mom Raven’ series.
Issue is Dudeblade-
Look, I still stand by my standing that if Tai really cared, he wouldn’t call Yang a “Thing he has to take care of.”
My mother calls me “a Thing” and I don’t like it. I can’t say that everyone is resentful when their own parents call them “a thing” but mine does it in a way that basically says, “Hey you! Yeah, you! You’re being a burden on my life.”
This is what you said the second time addressing this topic.
You are directly biased here Dudeblade.
Meanwhile, numerous OTHER people in the same situation as Yang proclaim Taiyang as a good father. People who should have a WORSE bias than you.
Combine this with your misandric tendencies and it’s clear why you spout this shit. And it has NOTHING to actually do with Taiyang.
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365 Days
Summary: This is your 365th day with the BAU. You’ve become part of the family, no matter how hard that tasked had seemed at first. The team decides to celebrate but the party is ruined by your intense feelings for the local genius.
Word count: 2,426
Docs link
Warnings: Angst, jealousy, Open ended. This was a request from an anon <3 Thanks anon!!
Today marked your 365th day as a member of the BAU. You had been implemented to help JJ with communication liaison since she had been spending more and more time out and the field and also needed time with her other family. You say “other family” because the BAU truly was a family. At first, you felt like the odd one out, trying to integrate yourself but no disrupt the synergy the team already had with each other.
It was a difficult balance, but it had paid off. You’d become part of the family, and forged meaningful relationships with the entire team. One of your deepest relationships was with Penelope Garcia, but even she didn’t know about your crush on the local genius.
You thought as soon as the feelings started to develop, that you would be had by the world-class profilers. If they had notice, no one said anything. There had been teasing, light hints like “If you ever start seeing someone, they have to be family approved” and the like. The issue wasn’t lack of options, it was just Spencer.
You couldn’t move on from him. You tried all your tricks when you knew the other person didn’t like you. You would try to find things that annoyed you about him or things you dislike in other people. Nothing worked. He was too endearing, too much of a good person. He wasn’t perfect, but you couldn’t force yourself to love him any less.
Your crush had been disrupting your work, as you found yourself peering through your office window to glance at him, or you would pause unknowingly while working to imagine being in his arms or finally confessing. Sometimes you would catch yourself tearing up while he was in the field, knowing your new family and especially Spencer could never return.
You had started to come in early, earlier than Emily and anyone else on the team. At first, Emily had been concerned and curious but by now it was normal. Today, while working on case files and organization, you heard soft rapping at your door.
Standing, you cleared your throat and called “Come in.”
“Morning, Here is a little gift for your 1 year.” The dark-haired Emily Prentiss walked in, holding a cup of coffee that you knew you desperately needed.
You practically danced over to her, taking the foam cup from her and taking a sip.
“I’m going to marry you.” You blurted out, taking another sip to try and hide your embarrassed blush at the outburst.
“Well, we can celebrate the engagement beside your 1 year tonight!” Prentiss joked along with you, winking.
If it wasn’t for Reid, you would probably be in love with her.
You laughed and touched her arm before heading back to her desk. “We can tell the team later. I’m guessing we’re gonna go out?”
You sat at the edge of your desk, crossing your ankles over each other as you relaxed into the cup of coffee.
Emily sucked her teeth before laughing. “Just try to act surprised when Spencer or Garcia ask you to come out tonight. It’ll be fun, and now we have two things to celebrate.”
You laughed, rolling your eyes before shooing her out. “Nothing but trouble.” You mumbled as you propped your door open. So you could hear the comings and goings of the office.
Around an hour later, the rest of the team was trickling through the doors. Tara, Luke, Penelope, Simmons, Rossi, and Reid came to greet you in your office. It suddenly felt very hot and cramped. You didn’t know if it was from the number of people in the room or just the fact that you were in Spencer’s presence. You tried not to squirm as everyone congratulated you for your 1 year.
Penelope placed a cup of coffee on your desk and you couldn’t help but laugh.
“Looks like I have to marry you, too.” You took a sip, glancing up to see Penelope smiling and acting flustered
“Awe shucks...Wait, “Too”, like you’re marrying someone else?” Penelope suddenly looked confused, and then extremely excited.
Tara rolled her eyes, exasperated. “You’re marrying someone and we haven’t even met them? How long has this been going on for? Who are they?”
There were mutters of agreement from Luke and Simmons, while Spencer stood stone-faced at the back of the group. You couldn’t tell if he was interested or upset.
There’s no way he’d be upset. Unless he’s actually mad I didn’t let anyone know I was seeing someone first. You laughed nervously, finally allowing yourself to squirm and struggle under the feeling of disappointing your friends.
“It’s me!” Emily came to your rescue, suddenly standing in your doorway.
Everyone looked confused and Penelope was about to go on some excited tangent when you spoke up finally.
“She gave me coffee when she came in, and I got so excited I proposed on accident.” You smiled sheepishly. “Sorry for getting all your hopes up. Still no one special.”
Penelope pouted for a second before returning to her cheery self. “You really need to sign up for Tinder or something.”
“That’s a terrible idea,” Luke spoke up, shaking his head at Garcia.
“Statistically, only 20% of couples meet on dating sites or apps, and even then a fewer amount gets married and stay married,” Spencer spoke up, seemingly agreeing with Luke.
“It’s not bad for some fun on the side.” Rossi shrugged. “I don’t think it’s great for a real relationship, either.”
You rolled your eyes. “I’m not looking for anything right now. Work is busy and..” You faltered before shaking your head. “I just have high standards.” You hoped they hadn’t caught your brief glance at Reid and by the way, they seemed placated by that answer, you guessed they hadn’t.
“Wellll, maybe you’ll find someone at the bar tonight! We’re going out for drinks and you have to come.” Penelope said decidedly, the determined look on her face telling you that you had no choice.
You smiled, feeling her heart warm as the team looked excited about your answer. “Of course, today is a day to celebrate. Two marriage proposals and my 365th day with you guys.”
Penelope cheered and bent awkwardly to hug you over your desk. You loved her hugs, they were so warm and always made you feel like nothing could ever harm you.
Everyone slowly filed out of your office, Reid lacking behind and looking like he was trying to decide whether to talk or not. You stood up, walking around your desk to lean against the front of it. Suddenly all the daydreams you had that started with moments like this made you stare at your feet and cross your arms as you reined in your embarrassment and nervous anxiety.
You tried to right the defensive stance as soon as he started speaking, letting your arms fall to your sides, your hands grasping the edge of the desk.
“I just wanted to let you know I’m glad you started working here. I know I’ve been working her practically since it’s inception, so I can’t imagine what it’s like to come in as a new person, but you’ve integrated well.” His words sounded like something Emily or any other boss would say to you, but they were surprisingly full of emotion. That’s one thing that you found so endearing about Spencer. He sounded so smart it was almost easy to forget he was human sometimes, but the emotion in his voice when he let his guard down melted your heart.
You tried not to melt into a puddle at his feet. “My first few months here, that’s all I wanted to hear. I felt like if no one said it, it wasn’t true. Now I know you guys, though. I know your actions speak for you. It’s still so incredible to hear that.” You looked away, willing yourself not to tear up before looking back at him. “Thank you, Spencer.”
His face split into a small smile, a welcome change from the serious tone and expression during the previous conversations. He nodded, stuffing his one free hand in his pocket before nodding toward the door.
“I’ve got to get to work.” He stated, a little awkwardly.
You nodded, turning back to sit at your desk. When he was out of view you pressed your hand to your chest, closing your eyes as you felt the deep, fast thumping of your heart.
It was growing dark outside, the moon taking the sun’s place as you drove to the address that Luke had sent you. You had dressed on a black silk tank top, tucked into black skinny jeans loosely so the fabric hung loosely over the dark faux leather belt you wore. A bright red kimono with floral patterns was the single bright piece you had on and you felt the breeze flow through the bright fabric as you rushed into the bar.
You were a little late due to makeup and picking out an outfit, but only by 5 minutes or so. You saw a hand waving and noticed Simmons had spotted you where he and the rest of the team took up a large booth.
You smiled, trying not to look like an idiot as you rushed towards them.
The bar was comfortable and warm, most of the furniture was made out of wood and most seats were red faux leather or some other fabric. The music and T.V’s weren’t blaring and the chatter of the customers was comforting background noise as you scooted into the booth with your friends.
“Finally, they arrive!” Rossi jested, raising his hands theatrically.
“Ah, yeah, sorry. I was busy setting up my Tinder profile.” You stuck your tongue out at him, making him chuckle.
Spencer sat next to JJ across from you, at the end of the booth. His eyes darted up to your face sharply, making your heart stutter. You almost made eye contact but Emily saved you.
“I never agreed to anyone else but Garcia being part of this marriage.” She crossed her arms over her chest, playing at being upset.
Everyone but Spencer fell into easy laughter and banter. You became increasingly nervous and worried as the minutes ticked by with Spencer putting minimal effort into any of the conversations. His eyes seemed glued to either you or the table.
At one point after you had all ordered food, Spencer denying anything, you saw JJ whisper something into Reid’s ear and then she announced that she and Reid were going to get drinks.
You just asked for a glass of Moscato while everyone else ordered. A sinking feeling took over your stomach until it settled into a pit at the bottom. You couldn’t stop squirming in your chair and hoping they would hurry back with the drinks so you could mellow out.
“Were you serious about the Tinder thing?” Simmons asked almost out of the blue as Tara and Rossi were discussing cars and Emily and Garcia enjoyed their appetizers.
“Uh, no. I’m really not looking for a relationship right now, I guess. Not a lot of people can handle dating someone with this job.” You shrugged, wishing the topic of relationships would vanish from all conversations.
“Understandable. I guess I just got lucky.” He smiled, looking through you a bit as he was no doubt thinking of his wife.
“Yeah, you really are.” You forced a smile on your face, suddenly feeling a spike of jealousy. Why couldn’t Spencer just like you? Why couldn’t you just tell him?
The night wore on and you had drunk more than you had expected. You were disheveled from dancing with Garcia, Prentiss, Luke, and Tara. JJ, Spencer, Simmons, and Rossi stayed sipped drinks at the booth, every now and again cheering you on. You were a little out of breath and tired, slinking over to the bar after excusing yourself from your friends. You ordered two shots of whiskey and some water, deciding these would be your last drinks of the night.
You slammed them down easily enough, taking a few gulps of water before a touch on your shoulder made you jump.
Spencer sat down next to you, scooting his stool a little closer so it would be easier to speak. You were drunk now, and his closeness made you feel like you were on a rocking ship, and your vision blurred every few seconds as you stared at his face.
“Are you okay?” He asked, as softly as he could.
“Uhhh, yeah. Just a lot tipsy.” You weren’t slurring too bad, a small part of your brain reining you in so you wouldn’t make too large of a fool of yourself.
“Yeah, but, you never drink this much. You seemed a little upset earlier.” From what you could tell, he looked concerned and it made you want to wrap your arms around him but instead, you settled with resting your head on his shoulder and staring at the wood grain of the bar.
“Just, all the talk of relationships. It bums me out.” You sighed softly. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get over….” You almost slipped. You. But you couldn’t. Spencer deserved better than a drunk confession. “This one person. I mean, we never dated, but I want to. I want to date them.” You sounded like a depressed teenager, even you could hear it.
Spencer nodded, tense under your head but you barely noticed. “I understand. Anyone would be lucky to have you. Have you told them about your feelings.” His tone was nearly flat like he was forcing a compassionate tone every few words but couldn’t quite nail it. Your drunk mind was oblivious to it.
“I haven’t, I mean. I can’t. They’re….They’re out of my league.” You frowned, shaking your head and nuzzling deeper into his shoulder. His scent was so warm and comforting. “I wish I could. I wish I would. It never seems to be the right time or place, and I don’t even know if they have feelings for me.” You shrugged, feeling the absurdity of telling your crush about your crush weigh on your shoulders.
“I’m sorry.” Was his only answer. You wanted him to keep talking.
“Do you know what its like, Spence-Spencer?” You nearly whispered, staring at the bar.
Surprisingly he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer ever so slightly.
“I do, Y/N, I do.” You didn’t look up to see his eyes looking at you.
#fanfic#fanfiction#spencer reid#my reider#my fanfiction#writing#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#self insert#self insert fanfiction#spencer reidxreader#reader#cm#cm fanfic#cm fanfiction#reider
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Space Pirate Mito, overall impression
This is a shounen anime from 1999. It’s sci-fi, as you might expect from the name. It has a wacky sense of humor, an endearing cast of characters, a fascinating and unique storyline, and some deeply affecting emotional scenes. It also featured numerous LGBT elements, the execution of which was... so-so. Could’ve been much worse, but also could’ve been much better. I do think it tries to present a positive message, and it isn’t always effective, but it is certainly memorable. There are numerous things that could’ve been improved, but I think the show as-is has a lot of value mainly coming from its uniqueness.
If you live in the U.S., it’s available for free (both seasons) on youtube from Nozomi Entertainment, just like Revolutionary Girl Utena is. Season 1 is also on both Crunchyroll and Amazon Prime; I don’t know what other countries this applies to. Piracy sites have this show too, of course, so you have options regardless. It’s also available on DVD for a surprisingly reasonable price, 22.49 USD from rightstuf, and that’s if you get it new.
Here’s the synopsis I like best for season 1, the one from animenewsnetwork:
Mito isn't just another space pirate, she's a three foot tall childlike alien with enough guts to outshine a supernova. She's known as the galaxy's most dangerous pirate, a wanted criminal who destroys a dozen police space cruisers every day before breakfast. But all she really wants is to be called "Mom."
Incidentally, Mito is voiced by the late Tomoko Kawakami, who also voiced Utena Tenjou! This was shocking for me to learn; they sound nothing alike, which just shows the versatility of her talent.
Wikipedia gives the following synopsis:
The first series of the farcical sci-fi title mainly revolves around the small space pirate Mito and her fights with and flights from the galactic police force, as well as her relationship with her half-human Earthling son Aoi, initially largely ignorant of his mother's spacefaring life.
This is basically accurate; however, there’s also a complex and compelling story that begins to unfold in the later episodes.
It’s in the unravelling of this story that the show’s LGBT themes are first introduced. I’ll insert a readmore here, because this post is getting long, so I might as well cut off before getting into plot spoilers: But if any of you goes off to watch it based on the above, there is a high chance you’ll end up checking back here at some point to determine if it’s worth sticking with.
If you’ve watched Simoun--another LGBT-related series that I adore and appreciate for its originality despite some serious flaws--this’ll sound familiar to you.
For Mito’s species, “sex differentiation” happens once a person is 10,000 years old. It’s not something that happens by itself, though; it is undergone by “choice.” I’m putting that in quotation marks because it certainly isn’t a free decision. Children are allowed to be flexible with their gender presentation, but “growing up,” in the eyes of society, means to become either a man or a woman, by fixed, preset standards. Those who don’t are socially ostracized.
In Simoun, at least, if you have your heart set on one role or the other, you can be sure to get it. Here... it’s not really clear, it seems that there is no such guarantee (I’m not sure if it’s just random, or if it’s arranged by one’s parents). Hence, it’s easy to imagine why some would find such an event absolutely horrifying.
One of the characters has a backstory that involves resisting this; I was really impressed with how this was established, except for the fact that this character did happen to be a villain. However, he (the character is shown saying “I’m a boy! I’ve already been differentiated” in his backstory, so that’s what I’m going with) joins the heroes’ side in the second season and is never made to conform, nor are the show’s protagonists ever anything but respectful.
However. For plot reasons that really do make sense in context (...sort of. it’s still contrived), Aoi ends up having to undergo sexual differentiation even though Aoi had been following a human pattern of physiological development up to that point. Aoi has no control over the process, and when it ends, everyone is shocked to find that Aoi is now “a girl.”
...Well, the humans are shocked. The aliens mostly take it in stride.
Aoi is also queen of the galaxy now, because sometimes that just happens.
For the record, this all happens in the final episode of season 1. This means that we don’t get to see the initial period of Aoi adjusting to this new role. Ultimately, I think that’s probably a good thing because it leads to many of the usual uncomfortable tropes being glossed over, but it also limits our insight into Aoi’s thoughts and feelings about this, which is pretty important. There are some mixed messages.
Something decidedly Bad is the way that the viewers are clued in on what happened to Aoi, which is... a couple of girls accidentally seeing under Aoi’s clothes and being shocked... and then the teacher wanted to look, ugh. That’s as bad as it ever got but it’s Pretty Bad for sure.
Onto Aoi’s reaction.
This is going to require some context. What first happened was that Aoi’s body became impossible for the aliens’ machines to detect as male or female, which led Mito to realize and explain that Aoi must be going through Sex Differentiation now. Only, the one weapon that could defeat the villain requires the user to have undergone it and be recognizably one or the other. This was the villain’s plan all along; he did “experiments” on Aoi to induce this, not out of a desire to cause suffering but for pragmatic reasons which still sound extremely contrived (though I was pleased to find that season 2 actually addressed why the weapons were built like this, whose decision it was, who was benefiting from it and how).
Consequently, Mito was demanding that Aoi “become either a man or a woman immediately.” Because Aoi had no idea how to control the process, the decision was made for Aoi’s (female) love interest to kiss Aoi and potentially “turn him into a man.” The reason I’m bringing this up is because notably, Aoi is not necessarily very keen on this idea, saying, “What about my feelings?” But it happens, and even, annoyingly, works long enough for the weapon to be used. (Not gonna lie, I was totally hoping that the opposite would happen and this would be the catalyst for Aoi taking on her True Form as a lesbian. That would’ve been epic). That said, it doesn’t last, and s2 leaves absolutely no room for the idea that kissing girls is inherently a “male” thing, so I don’t consider it a big deal on the whole, just such a missed opportunity.
Mutsumi, Aoi’s love interest, said in the end that her feelings for Aoi were the same regardless of what happened, but then ruined it by adding “Besides, I’m sure I can turn him back into a man.” (Aoi had not said a single word this point; she just thought that was something she could decide on her own, ugh--Mutsumi has clearly gotten over this by season 2, though; it never comes up again). At this point Aoi ran away “to find a planet where I can become a man,” according to the note left behind. It’s very possible Aoi just wanted to escape from everyone’s incessant comments and questioning, but that’s only speculation on my part. The next thing we see is Aoi being crowned queen, appearing somewhat exasperated and resigned.
Now onto season 2! Things get better... a lot better. Season 2 has its own unique and compelling story arc, with a new, more powerful villain. But the first thing to talk about how it opens, with an OP that seems to show a typical romcom with a scifi twist, one that happens to be about two girls. I love it.
S1′s OP centers around Mito, with this one centering around Aoi; because of that, it doesn’t feel like “now that we have a Female Protagonist we must make it a Love Story.” Just in case that was on anyone’s mind.
What the song tells us about Aoi’s perspective is interesting, but it can be hard to connect it to what’s shown in the show itself. It starts out with the line, “I’m a happy but lonely girl,” and includes the line “Hey, can you understand a maiden’s heart?” but Aoi certainly makes no such pronouncements withing the show (this would really make the show more comfortable to watch, because then it would certainly be Good and Right that everyone considers Aoi a girl now) and in my opinion would probably not feel comfortable doing so. I can imagine Aoi listening to a song like this and secretly strongly identifying, but that’s just speculation on my part.
I’m probably taking it more seriously than it was ever intended, but I will say, I don’t think it was made to be a mean-spirited joke. It doesn’t feel ironic. The visuals match the lyrics and melody rather than contrasting with them, and the upbeat tone is the same as that of the first OP. My best guess as to the motivation behind making it is that it’s to really bring the point home to the viewers that Aoi is a girl now and that that wasn’t just a silly joke ending to the first season but represented a major change in the status quo.
Early on in the season, Aoi has a dream about becoming a boy again and being with Mutsumi. If you want to believe the OP you could say that this is because Aoi feels that being with Mutsumi (romantically) would necessarily require being a boy. And this is a worry that Aoi canonically had, early on, but I think that most viewers would take the scene at face value and it might not be any deeper that that.
There was one other scene in the season that suggested Aoi would prefer to live as a boy, this one towards the end. In fact, Aoi shouts outright, “I would go back to being a guy if I could.” That said, the context is that a villain is torturing Aoi in an attempt to make that happen. Considering Aoi had already surrendered to that villain to save others (don’t worry, it all works out in the end), this could be as simple as “I would do what you wanted if I knew how.”
What I was hoping for, and what I think would have been awesome, is if at the end, Aoi would get a choice and would choose staying queen of the galaxy over becoming a man. Unfortunately, we didn’t get that. We do see that the experience has made Aoi a stronger person, more confident and expressive, and the show does end on a good note: The galaxy has been saved, and Aoi is free to be with the girl she loves, and looking as happy as in the OP for the first time ever, and has taken control of her life in general at last.
I didn’t mention this, but there’s another girl who has a huge crush on Aoi in season 2, and I was worried she’d be a “predatory lesbian” stereotype, but to my relief, this was not the case, and she ended up being one of my favorites.
She’s just like Nanami (from Utena--the director of this show actually directed Utena’s third ep, On The Night of the Ball) but openly gay and I LIVE for that. She has some great character development too.
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The Promised Party Cat Callout (Long Post!)
Here we go, y’all. I’m not gonna go all-out with the salt and vitriol typical of my longer posts, because... this isn’t about me being salty. This is about highlighting the issues with Mod Party Cat of the fictionkinfessions blog.
Nor is it intended to bully or chase Party Cat off of Tumblr. Yes, this is a callout post; no, it’s not an invitation to attack the blog with hate or stalk their sideblogs. And no, it’s not just my personal opinion, which we will get to.
This is intended to show Party Cat exactly what is wrong with how they’re running the blog and how they’re behaving. If they learn from it, good. If they don’t... then, they don’t.
Last of all, we did gather opinions from both kin and non-kin in a survey. This isn’t meant to antagonize the entire kin community. In fact, the information from kin really helped to support this argument. Thank you to the kin people who did respond to the survey.
(Btw, survey is still open: https://goo.gl/forms/lDoffQVVmELDo2EZ2 )
Obvious content warnings for dark shit apply. (Abuse, depression/suicide, etc.)
With that being said... let’s begin.
The main reasons for the callout are these:
Passive aggressiveness to or about other mods
Passive aggressiveness to anons/senders
“Cutesy” or overly positive typing/behavior in serious situations
Material that is generally improper for this kind of confession blog
Hypocrisy
Majority of survey takers agreed with each other and with the points made in this callout
We’ll go one by one.
Passive-aggressiveness to/about mods
(The bottom half of the mod page was linking to Party Cat’s other blogs and crediting some theme elements. Not relevant to callout.)
There isn’t a lot of information about the other mods or why they left; the general consensus on Maude is that they left because of school, but nothing about Kuroocrow. Now, why is this passive aggressive?
There was no need to publicly say that there’d been a “catfight” (ha ha, funny) with Maude. We don’t know if Maude even gave Cat permission to say this. If not, it’s disrespectful. (Nothing wrong with saying they’ll be okay.)
What Cat is saying about Kuro is even more aggressive than that. “They refuse to do anything to help!” Okay. That could be true. There’s still no need to rant about it.
“Ask them on my behalf what the fuck is going on with them!” Adding ‘on my behalf’ comes across as incredibly self-centered. And saying ‘what the fuck’ adds to the aggressiveness. Even if not intentional, that is how it looks, and it needs to be changed.
All that needs to be said is something like this: “It’s just me, Party Cat! Maude is on hiatus, and Kuro is absent. If anyone knows what’s going on with them, please DM me!” There. That’s respectful and to the point.
Passive-aggressiveness to Anons/Senders
This section will be... long.
So.. there’s a lot of overlap here with the ‘cutesy typing’ issue, but I’ll get to that later. I had to crop the screenshot to just this because there was so much that wasn’t 100% relevant to the callout. (Context for this post: Cat promo’d a kin server, an anon found some unsavory things happening in the server, anon warned Cat, and Cat said this.)
“...Seriously there’s like a few thousand people following this blog” is an unnecessarily rude way to say this. The point itself is legitimate and understandable. It really just need to be reworded so as not to come off as salty.
Alright, I’d understand this one if there was anything in the blog description or about pages to warn people that the blog can get dark. Confessions about death, suicide, rape, incest, murder, violence, high emotional distress, etc are jarring to see when this blog tends to be lighthearted.
While this anon does look a little bit defensive or offended, that’s so slight compared to the defensiveness of the response. Personally, I read the question as confused. (Y’all, who agrees with me? Who disagrees?)
Cat... people don’t tend to expect very dark content on a blog like this, especially when there’s no warning, and they might not even bother to blacklist the tags you use because they don’t expect it. (That’s a guess. If I’m wrong, then smeone should explain it. ) There isn’t much of an answer here - you just answer their question with another question.
So, okay, I agree with Cat saying that this ask is vague. And it’s not good to add “but” after something like ‘No disrespect...’ -- because “but” does negate whatever precedes it.
Those are the only things in this screenshot that make sense. Now we’ll get to the things that are passive-aggressive.
“Maybe it’s because...” Vague in itself. ‘Maybe’ gives you wiggle room to get out of this perfectly legitimate critique, instead of saying “Hey, I seem this way because...”
“People keep asking me things without providing the barest amount of information...” People actually do provide information. Sometimes it isn’t enough. That doesn’t mean they aren’t trying, and they could be dropping the subject because of how you respond (nobody really wants to interact with someone being rude).
“I just fill up the dead air with jokes!” Plenty of people do. And it’s fine... just not in this situation. When something serious comes up, you shouldn’t simply make a joke and move on. This reads like an excuse, and even a way to shame people. (”Oh... it was only a joke? Now I feel bad! :(” )
“And then people get more mad because... I don’t know!” This looks like you are blaming people for their feelings. People are allowed to feel mad. It’s never okay for them to send hate or be dicks -- which they’re not doing.
“Nobody reads that page, lollerskates!!” This could easily be solved by a regular, repeated post linking to the FAQ. Or a regular, repeated post explaining why confessions sometimes aren’t answered. Or something like that. Just a bit more effort.
Okay: “This blog is only for kin. We want to keep it within our community. If you have questions, check out this FAQ!”
Not okay: “You have no business interacting! You don’t know anything!”
That ‘sincerely’ isn’t very sincere at all. Most antikin will respect kin not wanting anti interaction on their blogs. Those that don’t are being dicks. And non-kin people who don’t have anything against kin are not at all likely to be hostile toward you, so being this hostile to them is unwarranted.
It’s confusing that this community, in general, would like non-kin and antis to become educated about what kin is/means... then such an influential blog sends a message like this. Regardless of how people feel about Cat, she does have pretty decent influence and a huge following; it’s very easy for impressionable kids to pick up on this weird double standard.
There’s nothing wrong with preferring to let someone else educate non-kin. There’s nothing wrong with pointing non-kin in a different direction.
There’s a lot wrong with blatantly pushing them away like this. It’s rude.
Inappropriate Cutesy/Overly Positive Typing
Cat isn’t stupid and knows full well what this anon (same one from before) meant. There was no need whatsoever to make such a giant joke of the question.
(Not to mention... why the hell would she tell everybody that she has so much medical debt and can’t afford electricity? I don’t know her situation so I can’t say it is/isn’t a joke too. It is something that could genuinely upset people, and some would even believe it. It’s a terrible thing to say.)
“:3c” Not harmful in itself. Just doesn’t belong in a serious ask.
This anon meant a post in which they were venting about abuse... they were angry that a character had abused their kintype. Cat knew that, considering their abuse content/trigger warning tags. This response looks sugarcoated and mentions some random anecdote about a thing Cat does, which is not appropriate in a situation regarding child abuse.
This was in response to something that was legitimately annoying Cat and breaking a blog rule. It does not look like an appropriate or effective way to address the issue - even looks immature. Did people take this seriously?
Yes, this really is a tag on a venting ask about a real life abusive stepfather. A joke. In a venting ask... about an abusive home life. There is a tag saying ‘Your stepdad sucks’, which is good. A joke, though, is too far.
(Apologies for a repeat screenshot - I saved this one for right now, for the sake of organization.)
There is, as I’ve been saying, no need for this. It’s very strange to ‘roleplay’ and act cute when there’s possibly a toxic Discord server going around.
When asked if any of Party Cat’s mannerisms were bothersome, one person said this:
Others said these things:
Inappropriate Material
Shoutout to @queen-dragon-slut (damn Tumblr won’t link you) for getting me this screenshot.
What the hell, Cat? This is serious -- this is even more serious than people sending confessions saying things like “Ugh, I hate this kintype!” or “Ugh! I hate that character!” This person actually endangered their own health and safety to force themselves into a ‘kin shift’. And it’s in no way Cat’s fault.
However.
To not even provide the anon with links to help blogs or any kind of resources, list some tags, and move on, shows an incredible lack of effort. Not only that, but I feel bad for this person. One note. That’s it. Nobody seemed to care that someone was suffering this badly, Cat included, which is, quite frankly, disgusting.
Again, something this dark doesn’t belong on a casual confession blog (which is what your blog looks like it’s supposed to be). And again, it genuinely fucking worried me. Is this person okay?
And it’s not even tagged. Not as ‘suicide’, not as ‘depression’, not as ‘suicidal ideation’, nothing. Which is what this is. This person feels like they’re not needed, like they’re pointless, which exactly what suicidal ideation does to you.
You can’t DM an anon saying, “Hey, you alright?” You can, however, at the very least, link them to the help blog page.
Mod Ryan, who is also part of the fictionkin community whether we like it or not, has seen:
Confessions about incest
Confessions about being abused otherwise
Confessions about stalking and being stalked
People saying they liked to kill
People saying they weren’t at all sorry for violent things their kintypes did
Asks saying characters or people should’ve killed themselves
@queen-dragon-slut said about some of the suicide-ish confessions: “ Tbh when somebody sends in a confession saying “I killed myself in my canon” it just sounds like they have some fantasies of wanting to kill themselves but cover it up by saying that their kin kill themselves and try to play it off. That’s not healthy.”
Hypocrisy:
Alright. That looks reasonable -- but wait.
The asks and other screenshots I just posted do strongly come off as suicide wishes, if not actual notes.
Here’s what people had to say when asked if they’d seen Party Cat acting hypocritical. I did not even mention suicide asks or dark asks in the survey question:
____
I wish I had time to say more but class starts in twenty minutes. When I’m back, I will add onto the callout with one more thing: that people feel Cat isn’t doing enough to help distressed anons.
Huge thank you to everyone who helped out with this!
It’s something that people have wanted to say for quite a while, and something that should’ve been said a long time ago.
Nobody should be demonizing Party Cat; there is a real person behind the screen. This should be a learning experience for her. Not an attack.
-K
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