#The pining..!!!! The yearning..!!! Ahhh!!!
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Ahhh love your writing!! Can we get something for yan!ruler and their willing darling who's also their knight? Reader is pining towards their totally sweet and kind ruler and when the ball comes they're very sad cause now their Highness will dance with some noble and ofc fall in love and reader have never had a chance with the royalty anyway :((
But they didn't know those concerns were in vain🙂🙂
i'm so happy to hear that! and what a wonderful idea, thanks so much for sending it!! i may have taken it in a slightly different direction, but i hope you enjoy <3
concept: Submissive Monarch!Yandere(gn) x Pining Knight!Reader(gn)
words: ~1.1k
CW: 18+, yandere behavior, slight manipulation, this one's actually p tame lol
You hadn't been working for Aschanti very long when they promoted you to their personal guard.
You were honored by the trust your noble ruler had in you, and you still work tirelessly to ensure that trust was not misplaced; the last thing you'd want to do is disappoint your dear sovereign.
Aschanti is a righteous and just power, they're clever and virtuous and surprisingly kind, to boot. You admire them immensely, and you're grateful every day for the privilege of being in their royal majesty's presence while you keep them safe and secure.
You couldn't be happier to be by your ruler's side all the time now.
Well... almost all the time.
You struggle at times like these, these high-class social gatherings where you have to watch them dazzle and charm (more so than usual), where they play nice and rub shoulders with the elites.
It just makes the divide between you two so much more prominent in your mind; you feel terribly out of place as a working hand among all these elegant nobles- and watching half of them squabble for Aschanti's attention is just the icing on the bitter cake.
They could have anyone they want, any of those beautiful scions that look so natural in all their fineries, that move with unfaltering grace and poise, that hold high status and social connections.
Why would they ever choose you?
You were meant for the sidelines, a lowborn made to stand in the shadows and keep your divine ruler safe while they live out their life before you.
You’ve known this for ages, and remind yourself often. But, unfortunately, this knowledge cannot seem to stop you from dreaming.
If only you stood a chance with them…
•
•
Aschanti has desired you since the first day you reported for duty.
You were so earnest, so absolute in your dedication to the crown, to them. And they could tell, they've seen countless knights pull the "happy hardworking hero" act to get in their good graces, but not you. You were real. You truly just wanted to protect them, to pledge your life to their rule, to defend their body and name alike based on only your ideals and instinct (you seem to rely on those for most decisions, and you’re very often right).
They put you on their personal guard almost immediately (which is lodged within the castle, naturally), terrified now at the idea of being so far from you after having been blessed by your glorious presence.
They always feel so comforted when they see your silhouette standing in their periphery, they lose their breath when they watch you scrutinize new persons for potential threats, their chest sets alight when they hear you shifting outside their bedroom door on your night guard (how they long for you to just come in one night and sweep them away...).
You make them feel safe, down in their very bones, until their head gets fuzzy and they just want to collapse into you and let you move and manipulate them however you desire.
They want nothing more than to be with you, to let you protect and take care of them forever, to let you have them, utterly and completely.
But they could never lay themself bare like that, especially not in front of you.
How disgraceful, for a monarch to want such perverted things from their guard, to yearn to be dominated by their own knight. They can't begin to imagine what the world might think- the council, their allies, the social elite- but that's absolutely nothing compared to their fears about you.
God, they wouldn’t be able to look you in the eye if you knew what they thought every time they see your muscles flex while you train, or when you place a gentle hand on the shoulder before walking ahead, or when your eyes get that thrilling, stony look when you focus on a task- they would cede their entire empire for you to look at them like that for just a minute while they knelt at your feet.
But then you would never look at them the same. You'd never respect them again. You’d likely be so disgusted that you would resign, and then where would they be?
They’d have to detain you somehow, of course, make up a collusion or the like; they know they would simply waste away in your absence, so leaving is just not an option.
But then still, you would never again gaze at them with those sparkling, idolizing eyes. You would never again toss them that encouraging grin that near blinds them every time they see it. You would never again see them as the honorable ruler you've looked up to since the beginning.
You would never love them.
No, it’s too risky.
At least they can still be with you like this, choking on their desire to melt into you at any given moment, desperately trying to maintain the illusion of respectability when all they can think about is your fingers around their throat.
It gets especially hard during the balls and what all; how can they even pretend to care about any of these highborn frivolities when you're standing mere feet away, watching them with those sharp, intoxicating eyes?
Funnily enough, you’re also the only thing that gets them through these circus acts.
Aschanti is always subtly watching you during these social events; they’ve perfected the art of staring as soon as your gaze shifts and looking away right before they're caught, it's kind of thrilling.
They entertain petty conversation as they recall the water that dripped down your neck when you chugged it after training yesterday, they laugh at bland jokes and picture your enchanting smile, they allow the occasional noble’s heir to place a flirtatious hand on their shoulder and imagine it’s your calloused fingers stroking their collar (they notice how you stiffen at the sight, how your lips purse and your hand tightens around your staff- it makes their blood pound just thinking you might be… oh, god, jealous over them. Maybe they lean into it a little, just to see your gaze harden. Oh, to think of all the ways you could punish them for their impertinence!)
It's still incredibly difficult for them, though.
They yearn for you every waking second.
They curse the inches between you when you stand in your place at their shoulder, they bask in the heat of your hand when you place it on their back to guide them, they imagine falling into your reassuring arms at the end of the day and try their best not to lose their composure each time.
Being with you is such sweet torture, one that they could never relinquish, because being without you would be closer akin to death.
If only you knew what they'd have you do to them...
thanks so much for reading! feel free to send a request <3
check my pinned post ~
#yandere x reader#yandere x you#soft yandere#sub yandere#dom reader#knight reader#yandere king#yandere queen#gn yandere#gn reader#yandere oc#yandere concept#yandere imagine#yandere requests#requests open#tw yandere
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Hehe, the first kiss prompts are irresistible! 😂💙 I’ve got a request, if you find it inspiring, and if not, feel free to ignore!
How about hands on the cheeks… with whomever you are most feelin? 🥹 Just that deliciously satisfying yearning finally coming to fruition? 🙈
Fun to read if you choose to write it! 💙
AHHHH I'm so sorry it took me so long to answer this, I've been so caught up in work and writing other stuff but AHHH I FINALLY DID IT!
I went with Hunter, because it just seemed right to me, I hope you like it!
Word count: 2626
Pairing: Hunter x Reader (no name)
Rating: M (blood, minor injury, peril, darkness, lots of angst, pining, premature mourning)
Please let me know if I missed anything!
And thank you so much for the prompt!
“Look out!”
Hunter’s warning came too late for you to respond, the ground beneath you trembling with the force of the cave-in rapidly gaining on your position.
Damn Cid, you thought to yourself, panting for breath as you sprinted forward, Omega by your side, damn her and her stupid missions. The cache she’d bought the location for had been empty, and you’d already known this mission was going to be a disaster when the rain started pouring the moment you touched down.
Now, the rocks that made up the old cave system had finally buckled with the movement of the ground thanks to the water above, beginning with small creaks and groans, quickly turning into certain death, the rocks crashing behind you creating splintering crevasses in the ground.
You first felt your foot slip as the ground opened up beneath you, Omega’s shrill shriek ringing in your ears as the sensation of falling overtook you.
It wasn’t even a conscious thought as you reached for Omega, using all of your strength to grab ahold of her jacket and throw her away from the rapidly growing hole in the ground, her eyes wide as Wrecker caught her midair and turned to run, your footing failing you.
As Omega screamed your name helplessly, Hunter turned, watching in horror as your eyes met seconds before you slipped out of view, consumed by complete and utter darkness.
Rocks and dirt crashed around you, one last deep breath taken as you landed with a sickening crunch onto hard ground, eyes closing as you waited for the end.
The groaning of rock on rock above you made you flinch, like nails on chalkboard, screaming in your ears while tiny streams of dirt and pebbles pelted your face.
Raising your hand in defense, an utterly useless motion against tonnes of rock, you chastised yourself internally, you waited. And waited.
The noise of the collapse faded, the steady flow of dirt and rocks dying out as the world around you settled, no longer tickling your face.
Daring to open your eyes, you found the exercise useless; pure, pitch black surrounded you, blinding you to your surroundings.
Swallowing hard, you dared to move a little, breath hitching as a few rocks fell from the gaps in your armour onto the floor below.
Feeling around, your hands came to rest on a large slab of rock above you, tracing the jagged edges to the sides of the crevasse; it had been caught mere feet above you by sheer luck, your lungs burning as you inhaled a shuddering breath, barely holding back manic laughter.
You’d survived the fall, and narrowly avoided being crushed by the falling rocks, but now you were faced with another problem; escaping your new prison.
Slowing your breathing, your thoughts drifted to Hunter, Omega and the others, tears burning in your eyes.
They were safe. They’d made it out. But Hunter’s scream of your name when he’d seen you fall, the expression in his eyes as he’d watched helplessly… it only added to the regret building inside you.
You should have told him. You should have been honest. You should have admitted you loved him months ago, when you figured it out yourself, a night you’d spent watching stars with him on top of the Marauder, your head laid on his chest as meteors scorched through the inky blackness overhead.
His warmth had radiated through every inch of your body, sending pleasant shivers through you as his hands ran up and down your arms, trying to warm you even more.
You’d come so close to kissing him then, your eyes locked with each others, flickering down to his lips and his to yours, a question in his gaze you wanted so badly to answer.
But as you were about to meet, eyes fluttering closed, preparing to brush your lips together, you jolted apart at Wrecker’s shout as he came out to relieve Hunter of watch, clambering up onto the roof with you and joining in your star watching.
And now… Now you might never get the chance.
The thought awoke something in you, some deep determination you didn’t even realise you possessed.
You were not going to die like this. You were going to find a way out, back to your friends, you family. And you were going to tell Hunter how you felt.
As you nodded to yourself, a soft sound floated through the darkness, the loss of your vision enhancing your other senses to an almost painful degree. Holding your breath, you tilted your head slightly, hope flaring in your heart; it was water… Running water!
If you could find your way to it, there may be an exit to the outside.
With one last firm nod, you steeled yourself, drawing a deep, shuddering breath as you scrambled to your feet and began feeling your way along the walls of the cave, following the sound.
*-*-*
“You must calm down, Hunter,” Tech ordered sternly as he watched Wrecker lift their brother away from the bloodied rocks that blocked what was once the entrance to the cave they had just escaped from, the sergeant’s limbs flailing wildly as he fought against the grip holding him, tears streaming down his face.
“No, no! I need… we need to get her, to get her out!”
Wrecker’s expression was one of pure anguish as he sat Hunter down on a rock next to Omega the young girl’s legs pulled up to her chest, her body rocking as she cried silent tears of her own.
“Your current emotional state is of no use to anyone,” Tech informed him flatly, bending down as Wrecker stepped away, his hands held out as if trying to placate Hunter, like he might bolt back to the rocks at any moment, “we need to think about this clearly and rationally.”
Hunter shook his head, hands trembling as Tech tutted, grabbing his medkit from one of the pouches on his belt and examining his brother’s tattered fingers, the nails broken and ragged from clawing desperately at the rocks, small red rivulets dropping onto the floor below.
“I should, should have been there,” Hunter gasped, wincing as Tech sprayed his wounds with disinfectant, quickly adding bacta and beginning to wrap his fingers one by one, “I should… should have stayed close. She… she’s…”
Wrecker’s breath hitched as he collapsed on the rock Omega was sat on, shaking his head.
“Don’t say it, Hunter,” he pleaded, opening his arm to his sister as she let out a sob, crawling into his lap seeking comfort, “please… don’t…”
“It’s my fault,” Omega sniffed wetly from his arms, every breath hitching as she cried into his chest, “if I hadn’t fallen, if she hadn’t come back for me…”
Behind them, Echo crested the small hill, coming back into view from his trip to the Marauder, a seismic scanner hung around his neck by a frayed canvas strap. He paused as he heard Omega’s sobbing, taking in the sight of his brothers, his jaw clenching.
“Hey, what’s with the tears?” he called sternly, moving to stand in front of them as Tech finished with Hunter’s bandages, the sergeant staring at the ground in despair. “I thought we were getting ready for a rescue?”
“She’s gone,” Hunter croaked, his tone utterly broken, “I… I can’t hear her. Can’t… can’t feel her heartbeat…”
He’d been straining himself since the moment he’d lost sight of her, the fear in her eyes scorched forever into his memory. The settling earth murmured beneath them, the clouds above swelled and flowed across the sky, the sound of a small river a few kilometres away drifted through the air, but that was it.
Every one of the Batch’s heartbeats rang in his ears, but not hers.
Echo frowned at him, waving the seismic scanner in annoyance.
“Why do you think I’ve got this?” he questioned, frustrated as he moved towards Omega, crouching down in front of her. “The rock is too thick for Hunter to hear through. She might have fallen in deep, but she’s tough, like us. We’ll find her using this, and we’ll get her out, yeah?”
Tech frowned, rolling his eyes at his brother.
“The likelihood of her having survived a fall and the subsequent rockslide, along with the risks presented by exposure and dehydration make her chances of survival…”
“Enough,” Echo snapped back at the engineer, snarling as tears conftinued to drip onto the dusty ground at Hunter’s feet, the cyborg letting out a sigh. “We’ve survived worse odds than this. We’ve been through the ringer, and we’re all still here. We’re not giving up, you hear? We’ll get her back.”
Omega nodded, sniffing away her tears and wiping furiously at her face, steeling her expression as met Echo’s gaze, nodding to the seismic scanner.
“I want to help,” she croaked, “tell me how.”
Echo smiled weakly at her, his own emotions welling in his chest. He knew the chances were slim, but so were his chances of survival the Citadel. And yet here he was.
“Atta girl,” he smiled, jerking his head back as he looked at Wrecker. “Tech will come with me. Wreck, stay with Hunter. Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”
“Gotcha,” Wrecker managed, forcing a smile as he let Omega down from his lap, clapping a large hand on her shoulder in comfort. “Echo’s right, kid. We’ll find her, ‘kay?”
“‘Kay,” Omega replied with a weak smile, fighting back more tears as she latched herself to Echo’s side, the cyborg ignoring the pointed look from Tech as they moved towards the cave entrance, firing up the scanner.
Hunter remained silent as Wrecker came to sat next to him, unsure of what to do. He’d never seen Hunter in a state like this, almost catatonic.
“Ya… ya doin’ okay, Hunter?” he prompted carefully, frowning when his brother huffed in annoyance. “Look, I know it looks bad, but Echo’s right! We’ve been through a lot. She’s tough. If anyone could survive…”
“I should have told her,” Hunter interrupted him, Wrecker drawing back a little to look over Hunter, confused by the statement.
“Uh… Told her what?”
“How I felt,” Hunter breathed, closing his eyes tightly, more fat tears falling into the dirt, staining the earth with his grief. “I… I had so many chances… and I… I couldn’t. She deserves better than a clone. Better than me. I let her down. I’ve done it again, let her fall…”
When he finally looked up, meeting Wrecker’s gaze, there was an utterly broken look in his eyes, one that caused Wrecker’s throat to tighten uncomfortably.
“I love her, Wreck… I love her, and I… I didn’t… I’ll never get to tell her. I… I’m so stupid…”
Falling back into silence, Hunter looked up to the sky, drawing in deep shuddering breaths.
“Ya can’t blame yourself, Hunter,” Wrecker tried desperate, laying a hand on his brother’s shoulder, “she knew what she was doing. She saved ‘Mega.”
“And I should have been there,” Hunter hissed through gritted teeth, anger growing from his sadness, “I should have…”
A sudden splashing sound caught his attention, distant, but clear.
Wrecker began to speak again, but quickly fell silent as Hunter shushed him, standing up and closing his eyes, listening intently.
Tech, Echo and Omega were still at the cave entrance, conversing lowly, the soft hum of the seismic sensor fading into the background as he focused on the faint sound in the distance, the sound echoing over the sand covered hills.
The splashing sounded again, this time accompanied by a gasp and a cough, spluttering and more deep breaths, a faint heartbeat vibrating through the air.
Hunter didn’t even speak, he simply opened his eyes and ran, ignoring Wrecker’s shout after him. He heard Echo, Tech and Omega call as well, their footsteps quickly joining to pursue him, but it didn’t matter.
Not when he could feel that familiar thumping, not when he could hear the clacking of plastoid.
He didn’t know how far he ran, nor did he care about the way his lungs burned with the effort, his legs trembling by the time he crested the hill just above where the sound was coming from, soft words beginning to float through the air, unmistakable.
“Havoc 1, come in? Havoc 2? Echo? Anyone?”
With one last push, he made it to the ridge, his knees giving out as he caught sight of her, the familiar outline, scent and voice overwhelming him.
*-*-*
A gasp of your name behind you made you jump as you pocketed your drenched comm, tutting in annoyance as water ran out of it, the electronics completely fried.
Wondering if you’d imagined it, you turned quickly, you breath hitching in your throat as you saw Hunter kneeled in the sand, his eyes wide, tears rolling down his cheeks as he panted for breath. He had obviously been sprinting, beads of sweat trailing down his forehead, his hair mussed, bandana askew.
“Hunter,” you breathed, the relief in your voice palpable. Scrambling towards him through the ankle deep water, you ignored the sting of the cuts and bruises that littered your body.
The escape from the cave system had been terrifying, being swept down an unground rapid system after wading through the river for some time, clutching at the walls in total darkness. And yet, you’d made it out, battered and beaten, but alive.
As Hunter called your name again, his voice broken with emotion, you scrambled up the bank, tears beginning to spill down your own cheeks as you got closer, his hands reaching out to you, as if he wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was real.
Within moments, you were out of the water, your clothes and hair still sopping wet, body trembling with adrenaline and cold, mere steps from him when he grabbed out for you, pulling you to your knees in front of him. A sob left his chest as he pressed his forehead to yours, uncaring of the water that still dripped from every inch of you, his hands coming up to cup your face, thumbs resting on your cheekbones.
“C-Cyare,” he choked, closing his eyes, breathing you in, “I’m so, I’m so kriffing sorry. I should have been there, I should have been with you…”
“Hunter, don’t,” you pleaded thickly, leaning into his embrace, pure relief rushing through every fibre of your being. “I did what I had to, I needed to get Omega out, I…”
Your words were cut off as he tilted his head back, his lips finding yours, crashing your mouths together with a passion that caught you off guard. You whimpered into his mouth as he clutched at you, fingertips digging into your jaw, holding you so tightly it might bruise, like if he let go you might float away.
Moaning as he slid his tongue over your bottom lip, he took full advantage, tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss, your own hands moving to cord through his hair, remaining tangled in the thick, sweat soaked curls even as you parted, both panting for breath.
“Should have done that months ago,” he whispered, his lips brushing yours with every word, his eyes focusing on yours, warm swirling pools of molten chocolate causing a swirling deep in your gut, “I should never have waited. I… I love you, cyare… Forgive me?”
As the roar of the Marauder’s engines drifted through the air, the ship growing closer with every passing moment, you simply sighed as you pecked his lips again, tears of joy painting your cheeks.
“There’s nothing to forgive, Hunter,” you reassured him, pressing your foreheads together once more, a shiver running through you both. “And I love you too.”
#star wars#the bad batch#tbb#star wars the clone wars#tbb hunter x reader#hunter x reader#tcw#clone wars#sergeant hunter x reader#tbb fanfic#first kiss prompt#for freesia-writes#DaniWrites
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🎢 and ✨ for the ask game!! <3
Ahhh thank you so much for sending this one!!!
🎢 my wildest ride in fic has to be to this day "Not A Mounted Dildo But A Fuck Machine" that I wrote with my love @summerofspock . Not just bc the title is already a wild ride and the premise is too, but for the fact that it was my first writer collab with Summer and it ended up being one of the most joyful experiences I've had in fandom. It was wild we clicked so good, and also yeah, the premise is pretty damn wild 😆
✨ a compliment for my writing:
Ah, damn, that's always hard isn't it, but i would say i do like how I've learned to write emotions, mainly pining and yearning. That's a compliment from me to myself, good job on the pine forest, Naro! ♥️
Thank you so much for asking me this! 🥰
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i got tagged by @zaegreus 💖
Last song: the last time i saw richard by joni mitchell
Favourite colour: green and blue
Last movie/show: ahhh i haven't really watched anything lately... i guess snippets of some old top gear episodes?
Sweet/savoury/spicy: sweet, i couldn't live without chocolate
Relationship status: single, not really looking for a relationship, but it sure would be nice to have some kind of physical intimacy sometimes. as prev said, yearning and longing and pining. 🥹
Last thing I googled: some joni mitchell lyrics lol. before that i guess i was googling stuff about a local museum
Current obsessions: still on the terror / franklin expedition bullshit
once again, i'm too lazy to tag anyone -- if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged!! 😇
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FINALLY finished si vis amari, ama and like?? oh my god??? the vividness of your language and the intricacies of your description and the visceral longing that just leapt off the page - i already can't wait to re-read and find all the little things i've missed!! such a cool concept and executed so so well <3
AHHH OH MY GOSH HELLO please know this ask and the comment you left made me smile so much - i'm super behind on ao3 comments right now so idk when i'll get to respond to it, but please know that it (and this!!) have meant so much to me 💜
thank you thank you for your kind words!! i wanted to make that fic special because it was a gift, and the response i've gotten for it has made me feel like i accomplished what i had intended to do! i love vivid descriptions (it's probably my favorite part of writing), so to hear that you enjoyed those makes me so happy - and the longing!! so much longing!! the friend i wrote this for loves pining Mike, so i wanted to make sure the yearning was turned up to an 11 in it heheheh
anyway, thanks for taking the time to read si vis amari, ama! i'm glad you enjoyed it, and i hope you continue to enjoy it for any rereads you might embark upon :]
thanks again, lovely, and thank you for also being such a nice presence on the dash 💜💜💜
#ask#si vis amari ama#btw fireflywitch i saw your name in my inbox and had to take a moment to compose myself bc i was very close to squealing <3
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hi i’m here from your insane captive prince one shot. let me preface this by saying I DONT GO HERE. and then say i am about to… that was so good it was literally perfect balance of all things that make the perfect one shot: yearning + good background + pining + sex. and every portion was PERFECT especially well. you know. i cant say bc i know u know. hehe the way i am raving about this you’d think it was a deep character study but it’s like pure sex and i’m like hmm yes it is this thoughtful literary masterpiece that has convinced me to read this series.. but you know what. it’s practically that but told through a diff medium. a sex medium. and i stand by it. 5 star experience ur brilliant (🌚) i’m forever in awe of everything you do. and you. hehe mwah byeee (almost signed this like a letter like all my love. ahhh i cant leave ok they’re dragging me off BYEEE)
HI I LOVE YOU SO BADDDD (girl relax) (no never!!)
this is so nice.. awkward smile.. yuck !!! but thank u my sweet for ur hand holding (we should always be holding hands just like.. those other two..) i would likely have collapsed into a fit of mortification otherwise and ALSO well my personal fav part was “if that will be all” haha like what a line there amiright !!! clever witty charming it says everything it blows the story wide open 😋😋 endless kisses my silly star serena .. All My Love,
🧚♀️
#why is that fairy emoji so large i can’t get it smaller. i’m scared!#ren tag#we should .. buddy read captive prince. ermm put it on the docket for approx 2027 at this rate.. xx
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“Unprecedented” is my fave of yours omg, the pining and hurt/comfort is sooooo delicious
ahhh thank you so much!!! there is just nothing better than intense yearning and some hurt/comfort in fics, usually that's what gets me the most as well in other people's writing ♡
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in part 5, carmy mentioned hooking up with reader changed his view on sex and relationship. does this implied his past experiences has been not so good? he doesnt seems like somebody who has a traditional view on sex either. can you elaborate on that? also the angst and the YEARNING in ur fic is immaculate !!
Ahhh thank you! I love Yearning. I love Pining. In real life, it's awful, but in a fanfic --it's great.
okay, we will get information in character (I have a section lined out where Carmy and reader talk about their pasts) - however - it's not that the experiences were bad. But, read on more if you wanna know my head-canon/ideas about Carmy and his relationship to sex
(putting under read more because it got lengthy)
Carmy has low-self esteem outside the kitchen. We see this in his monologue and how he views himself (calls himself not funny, struggled with a stutter at an early age, highly competitive, obsessed with his work/being the best, suffered verbal abuse from chef in NYC).
In canon, I actually think Carmy could fall on the ace spectrum - I also don't think it's implausible to say he could be a virgin/sexually inexperienced. However, for the sake of the fic, I wanted it be believable--and I couldn't imagine Carmy abruptly hooking up with someone and losing his V-card in that way. (I know virginity is fake but whatever lmao). Anyway, I wasn't about to be like "This guy has never fucked but also somehow knows where the clit is and carries around condoms." LDSFJKSLFJ.
Anyway, I think Carmy would have a very utilitarian view on sex. Like sex serves a purpose. People have sex to have children, to have fun, to blow off steam/stress, etc. Sex isn't a priority for him and I'm sure he heard PLENTY of stories from Mikey, too, which possibly allowed him to live vicariously through his older brother/whom he saw as his hero.
I don't think he views sex as shameful in anyway. It just comes down to time + energy. Carmy only had time and energy enough for Work/The kitchen/the Thing He's Good At. He doesn't have time/energy for relationships/dating/getting to know people.
In the fic, he refers to having 2 notches on his belt (meaning he's had sex with 2 people total, including the reader, so he's still pretty inexperienced).
Spoilers for the fic? I headcanon that Carmy had sex one time, while in culinary school, to just experience it. Maybe it was at a party, maybe it happened during a stressful finals week or something, like who knows. He just needed to try it on and see what everyone was talking about.
I could see a girl coming onto him and doing so strongly - (Carmy wouldn't make the first move, are u kidding? In the fic--the reader is the one who kisses him first LMAO but I kept it vague because reader is unreliable). and Carmy having just enough time/energy to give it a shot. He doesn't have any condoms, but thankfully she does, and he's seen porn so he knows what to do.
It's a little clunky, awkward, but she's more experienced than he is and they manage. Afterward, Carmy is just like "Okay...so that's sex, then." And shoved it to a back corner of his mind. LMAO.
Again, having sex isn't important to him. In the fic, it's actually the connection between the reader/himself that's tethering him, like the sexual chemistry is an allure for the first time ever in his life, but beyond that--he genuinely feels something for the reader, a kinship with her, and that's a very strong attractive quality.
I'd say his sexual experience (prior to being with the reader) was underwhelming. It didn't reshuffle his priorities. However, with the reader, this connection has arranged his priorities in a new, scary way.
Like, I don't think his views on sex are traditional in the like monogamous sense of like "You should only sleep with your partner". Carmy doesn't strike me as a judgmental or shameful person. In his eyes, sex is practical, but like, so is masturbation and he's probably got enough time/energy to quickly jerk off in the shower before work when he happens to be horny for whatever reason (I also think grief and stress and anxiety effects the libido so there's that to take into account).
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I looooove slow burn, the tension is truly the best part. And makes the smut so much better, more intense, toe curling... I'm getting a little carried away hahaha but it's very rare to find a writer that can make simple moments that aren't really sexual be so sensual like you do, it leads to the best scenes no matter how long it takes
Whatever you decide to do, I'm completely here for it
I'm giving up on my theories for now tho, can't get my brain to work when I'm too on the edge of my seat like that
Ps: Thank you for being so sweet every time, I love to discuss about fanfics and receving this attention from the author herself makes everything so much more special ❤️❤️
I loveee a slow burn too the YEARNING ugh!! No you're so right, it makes smut worth the waiting after many chapters of pining and tension building, which is definitely what I plan on doing with Trouvaille 🤭 Also AHHH thank you so so much 😭 the scenting scenes are a blast to write they're so intimate and hot but I'm so happy you've enjoyed them eeeee 🥰
Loved all of your theories so far honey!! Sorry to keep you on your toes with the cliffhanger, but it'll be worth it in the end - the next chapter is verrry important to the plot and Taehyung's story in particular! Also thank YOU for being such an angel, I love hearing from you and responding, it makes me smile 🥺💗 Anytime you'd like to chat, I'll be here (with the Trouvaille hybrids!)
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Alright Jacey girl back and better than ever!!!
Fresh off of season 3 and WOW. Just wow. Absolutely loved that development. So natural and so angsty just truly amazing as you seemed to imply.
I was sold pretty much the whole time esp since I started the show for them but I was really sold just by the little details and nuances they added in, both scripted and probably unscripted from the actors (which I found out they actually dated in real life so of course that’s just the cherry on top). A natural friends to lovers transition that was tangible.
Also I don’t necessarily hate Dawson like most people seem to but he’s certainly not my favorite person and I could do with less screen time for him and his usually selfish actions.
And random ramble here but thank GOD that Henry guy left I hated him and Jen! Not sure most viewer’s stance on them but it’s just a hard no from me. Maybe a little sappy and puppy dog cute at first but jeez as the season went on I was so annoyed by him and how all he liked about her was the image of who she was and idk they tried to make it like he was the first boy to really see her and love her for her but I just didn’t buy it. He was borderline creepy and stalkerish to me 🤷🏻♀️
Ahhh yay I’m glad you enjoyed it!! It’s such a fun ride. I wish I could watch it for the first time again so I’m pretty jealous that you just got to 😂
Yesss they dated irl! I believe it was a really brief period during S1 but their chemistry and genuine friendship they must have built off that dating really shines through in the acting. They nailed the little details and the yearning and pining and that’s something that’s always gonna make me feral.
Oh I’m absolutely a Dawson hater. I never forgave him after his birthday episode. Before that I thought he was a bit cringe and sometimes annoying but tolerable for the most part. After that it was just a continuous loop of him bouncing back to do something to piss me off every time I started to forget how he acted lol. And I agree about the Henry thing! I actually shipped it a little bit at first but it got very weird. It’s amazing how few shows actually nail the guy with an “obsession” with the cool girl out of his league and make it a good ship. No one and I mean no one has done that type of thing like Stydia, which is the ship that always inclines me to try to give the trope a chance at first I think.
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ahhh i see what you mean, that happened to me with love mechanics but yinwar's chemistry was actually enough to make me overlook some... things lol but yeah seems like there are some tropes there that i can't be bothered to watch, also i just really trust your taste and views. but hey! at least pond and phuwin showed their potential and now we have this gem!
what was your favorite part of the first episode? mine was probably the pool scene, i feel like so much happened there, the intense eye contact x2 and the hand over hand moment...................... he didn't have to do that but he did it for all of us! they really are seeing each other like genuinely seeing each other i bet that scares them a lot. oh the pining oh the yearning pond does it so well! like the scene when they first met HIS FACEEEE it's gonna be so great just seeing them fall in love. oH IMAGINE THE ANGST IT'S GONNA HURT SOOOO GOOD AND NOT JUST UNTIL THEY KNOW HOW THEY FEEL BUT ALSO AFTER THAT BECAUSE THEY WILL WANT TO PROTECT EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME AND IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO BALANCE IT ALL the hype was RIGHT
ugh i wish i could have the will to wait and binge watch because i think i'm able to enjoy shows more when i can do that, and space the episodes how i want or just watch them all in a day, like it's a much more intense experience for me that way and even though it leaves less time to theorize and the fandom experience and all that i personally prefer it. but i cannot see all the pretty gifs and not go to youtube and watch the episode when they are right thereee i wanna join the fun! i actually binge watched vice versa (🥰) and i feel like i liked it so much because i did! i also binge watched love mechanics and i swear to god i would have given up if i was watching that show weekly, and i had to binge watch to my star 2 too cause that was actually hurting me lol this is so long already okay i'll shut up now 💌
fish upon the sky and love mechanics actually fall in the same category of 'shows i can't bring myself to like even if the actors have an insane chemistry' for me, but between the two i did enjoy love mechanics more, even if i cannot stand cheating, so i guess this says a lot about my feelings for FUTS ;;;;;;;;
BUT!!!!!! like you said, the most important thing is that pond and phuwin are now playing in a show with a more mature storyline that makes their chemistry shine and that i can thoroughly enjoy!!!!! and that makes me ridiculously happy!!!!! JUST LIKE THE FACT THAT YOU TRUST MY TASTES?????? THAT'S SUCH AN INCREDIBLE COMPLIMENT THANK YOU!!!!!! 🥺🤧
we must have pretty similar tastes, though, because THE POOL SCENE WAS MY FAVORITE ONE TOO!!!!!! like.. both the hallway and the sneaking out scenes are A LOT, but the pool one is on a whole other level!!!!! not only the tension is already off the charts, but i love how it also says a lot about palm and nueng as characters and perfectly sets up the journey for their relationship!!!! it's the way nueng asks "if i don't tell your dad, what will i get from you?" because that's what he has been taught his entire life, that no one does anything for free, and he got further confirmation of it earlier that day when his classmate made the others stop teasing him only to ask him a favor right after!!!! it's the way palm answers "i have nothing to give you. i have no money" because he sees no value in himself but eventually he is going to (willingly) give nueng exactly what he needs - friendship, care, trust, love - and in doing that he will learn his self worth and start to build his own future!!!!
AND GOD YEAH THE MOMENT THEIR HANDS TOUCHED!!!!! i will never have the words to properly explain the importance of hands in queer culture, but they're often used as objects of desire, as conduits for future intimacy, and once the hands touch that's it: there's no turning back, you can't ignore your want anymore, and the fact that it already happens the second time palm and nueng see each other casts such a sense of inevitability on their relationship!!!! since their first meeting all their interactions have just been so full of pining and yearning and tension and this magnetic pull that makes them so aware of each other and leaves the viewers breathless even if we already know they will end up together!!!! BUT LIKE YOU SAID IT ALSO WON'T END WHEN THEY GET TOGETHER BECAUSE THERE'S GONNA BE DUTY AND DESIRE AND ABOVE ALL THE WISH TO PROTECT THE OTHER AND GIVE THEM A BETTER CHANCE AT LIFE. ALSO WHEN PALM WILL CALL NUENG BY HIS NAME FOR THE FIRST TIME THEN WHAT!!!!!!!!
anyway..... please never apologize for sending me a long message because 1) I ABSOLUTELY LOVED READING IT, and 2) as you can see brevity is not one of my virtues ;;;;;;;; so please feel free to write as much as you want!!!! 💜
gonna end this by saying that idk if i personally prefer binge watching, but i definitely understand what you mean!!! i do tend to be more forgiving when i watch a series all in one go and it also helps me keep my emotions under control sfjkshdj i think it actually depends a lot on the show itself: some series i like to see week by week because i enjoy freaking out with everyone else, but other ones i NEED to binge watch to preserve my mental health (to my star 2 is a great example, because after seeing the first episode i also went NOPE and waited for all the episodes to be out before going back to it I DON'T DO WELL WITH THAT KIND OF ANGST)
#not only idk what brevity is but i also do not feel normal about nlmg so i apologize for how long this is ;;;;;;#ON ANOTHER NOTE IF YOU EVER FEEL LIKE SHARING YOUR VICE VERSA THOUGHTS I WOULD LOVE TO READ THEM#never let me go#never let me go the series#nlmg#m: ask
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ahhh yes, the 'there's absolutely no other way but to go about this simple problem in an overly complex strategy" trope, followed by "I've always had these feelings but don't know how say them out loud except in this way, and now i am Yearning for you For Real" and "mutual pining but I can't say it because i know this is fake but damn i wished it wasn't" ride
Delicious 👌 thank you for the meal
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What is Marissa & Ethan's song?
Ahhh anon, thank you so much for the lovely question! ❤
Hmm, there are three songs that according to me capture their relationship perfectly.
Year 1: When the pining and yearning were on the peak after Miami.
Year 2: When they got together but were still keeping their relationship a secret.
Year 3 & Beyond: Honeymoon phase a.k.a both madly in love with each other.
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hello hello hello
i haven’t read ur new fic yet (why real life responsibilities why) but i just wanted to come in here and scream because!!!!! just the summary itself!!!! oh my god. sharing a bed? fake dating? yearning and pining and secrets? i am absolutely losing my entire shit!!! (and i just know this’ll be so good bc u write them so well and i cannot wait for this day to be done so i can unwrap it like a proper gift but thank u sm for writing what i’m sure will be a wonderful, beautiful story <3)
Ahhh hey, thank you so much, you just made my morning!! <33 And ugh yes, why real life responsibilities indeed 😩I do hope it'll be worth the wait! I really like how this one turned out - I haven't written Sirius' pov in a long time (apparently? It wasn't in purpose idk how this happened tbh???😂) and it was so fun, so yeah I do hope you'll like it!! ❤️
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ahhh @miiracleboys ty for the tag!! this is going to be so much fun omg ALSO SORRY IT CAME WAY LATER LMFAAO
slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt-comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant AND fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot AND multi-chapter // kid fic AND road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel AND isolated together // neighbors or roommates // sci-fi au or magic au // body swap or gender bend // angst AND crack // apocalyptic AND mundane
slowburn: the TENSION. the YEARNING.
secret dating: i love a good fake dating fic. i am literally writing a fake dating fic right now. B U T. stolen kisses and knowing eye contact and holding hands under the table??? everyone else having their suspicions and picking up on the clues shamelessly left around?? both extremely funny AND endearing!!
enemies to lovers: i like this one bc like!! the vulnerability of opening up to someone you thought hated your guts . . . thinking that they might not be so bad . . . insults turning into banter that you actually enjoy . . . i LOVE that shit!!
oh no there's only one bed: i'm a sucker for the tension!! the bated breath!! the "oh shit they're way too close"!! the waking up in the morning after only to find out they're cuddling!!
hurt-comfort: nothing slaps like getting a bandaid ripped off and then tending to it with love and care
modern au: i love a good fantasy but there's something about writing improbable hilarious shenanigans in the modern world that makes real life seem just a little bit better. you're limited in what you can do with a modern au, sure, but that's why coming up with the WILDEST events is so much fun!! because you're constantly thinking about what CAN happen to the extreme!!
mutual pining: domesticity is something i value but mutual pining makes me ache in a way. i always get so many feelings with mutual pining involved
fluff: i pretty much always skim the smut parts if a fic has it LMAO
canon compliant/fix-it: this really depends on your series i guess?? i appreciate a good fix-it if there's way too much going down (coughmewritingjjkfix-itficcough), but other than that i LOVE canon compliant bc for romcoms it's funny, and for angst it hits HARD
reincarnation: call me childish or naive or whatever but like. man there's already enough shit in the real world i'm not going to fics to get a taste of ultimate despair as well!!
oneshot/multichapter: i adore both!! i've read some BRILLIANT oneshots that are long and poetic and gorgeous ("it's like you told me, go forward slowly" by elenoir, anyone?) and multichapters are always a fantastic adventure to go through
kid fic/road trip fic: uhh okay i'm assuming that 'kid fic' means fics that involve taking care of kids?? which i adore bc oh my god,,, the building and slow bonding of a family unit,,, gets me EVERY time. so why not take your kid on a road trip yknow. bonding experience!!
accidental marriage: as you can tell by now i am very much a fluffy romcom person, which seems to be the case for accidental marriages!! i haven't read much of either fic tho LMAO
middle aged romance: there is something very soft and sweet about love at that age i just sjdfhniof;a
time travel/isolated together: both are great!! i've seen a lot of "stuck together bc quarantine" works going around, and time travel has a lot of comedic and angst potential to it
roommates: THE TENSION AS ROOMMATES MAKES ME FERAL
magic au: i've got a very intense sci-fi au myself but. i LOVE a good magic au!! not that my urban magic wip thinks so LMFAAO
body swap: body swap is SO much funnier than gender bend would ever be
angst/crack: i adore both but i have to emotionally and mentally prepare myself for angst dear lord
apocalyptic/mundane: i put both bc. bc. "right in the head" by Mysecretfanmoments lives in my soul oh my god. and the mundane life is one i adore and strive for!!
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Hsywtajdhsksk literally thinking that you deserve the entire world rn !!!
Ahhh L thank you so much for your tags 😭😭 honestly I felt I did Jean so dirty in that fic in terms of how well it was written but seeing what you (Jean’s canon girlfriend) wrote made my day !! Sending you a big ol’ hug rn through the phone ❤️
JEANS CANON GIRLFRIEND I-
im giggling rn….serene….it was so good!!!! 😩😩 you characterized him so well!!! he’s such a yearning and pining and observant lil man i absolutely adored the way he was so flustered and nervous jdjdjdjsdj i wanna get amnesia and reread it for the first time again
#LOVE U HAVE MORE FAITH IN URSELF U LIL BABY!!!! <3#accepting ur big hug and sendin one right back#l answers <3#serene baby <3
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