#i wasn't attached to anyone in the first game the way i'm currently attached to mikan | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

patchesproblem · 1 year

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I would like to know all of your Einsla hcs

I want to say that you're more powerful than anyone I know. I have so many.. I apologize in advance for the length of this.

This is probably going to be written across a few hours since I'm emotionally dead at this very moment and can't really process things as clearly as I'd prefer, so if anything gets repeated or it devolves into nonsensical ramblings I'm sorry.

Gay under the cut

This might be all over the place and jump between Lab 42 and current time, so uh oops...

Since this is all just hc's one of the first ones of mine is that Ein is 17 while Tes is 19. Einstein's birthday is towards the end of December while Tesla's is around the end of January. I have specific dates but eh. If anyone's interested I'll add them in later. Also headcanon them as extremely mean lesbians, and that they're both ace.

One of the first things is that I legitimately believe that they're soul mates. Which doesn't really affect anything or matter much, but they're always together in every universe. No matter what they manage to find their way to each other and it's sweet.. I love them. Even in the PE Einstein and Tesla were with each other, and Tesla's departure affected Einstein so badly she started wearing her glasses and dyed her hair to match hers.. They're soul mates and I refuse to hear differently..

Going off of in game information (aka their memory clips from the dorms and the AE VN) I personally believe they met each other in 1953. It's really the only thing that makes sense, because so much happened and you can't tell me that it all happened within the span of one year.

1953 is when the first eruption occurred, and soon after Planck and Einstein joined the American branch of Schicksal. Tesla began studying under Planck, and they quickly became friends. Of course it was a bit.. Interesting at first. Tesla had her whole song and dance of 'threaten people so she doesn't get attached and hurt' but they became friends rather quickly. Planck probably wasn't that amused just because Tesla's destructive, but whatever makes her little girl happy ig.

They became friends and were basically inseparable. They actively made each other worse. They looked at each other and went 'Yeah I can make her worse.' Dumbasses, truly.

Putting this in after the fact, but Tesla likes to think that she almost scared Einstein off at first. That was very much not the case, and she knew that she wasn't as big and bad as she tried to come across. Though she lets her think that just because it's harmless and helps her sleep at night.

At first Tesla was weary of Einstein, but like I said they quickly grew on each other. The reason I say this is just because I can imagine her thinking 'wow child prodigy. Can't wait for her to think she's better than everyone else and then be the dumbest person alive.' Was not the case. She is better than everyone else and Tesla loves her for it and will make sure that Everyone knows it. They are beneath her and she will make sure you know it.

Whenever one of them went the other followed even if they weren't needed just for funsies. They always worked together (Einstein would say it's just because Tesla stared at her pathetically but she just wanted to. Her looking pathetic was only a bonus because she could say she felt bad for her or something if questioned.)

They acted as each others emotional support in a sense. Since they met soon after Karl died I like to think that Tesla was always there for her when she couldn't handle dealing with it on her own. Along with this I think that during the time Tesla had to work with Dipshit 1 (aka Edison) Einstein was there to help keep her sane and help her not completely break down. I won't be going too much into this for my own sanity, but soon after Tesla tried to burn down Dipshits office (With Einsteins encouragement) they both just bailed and went to Lab 42 after Einstein got her doctorate.

This one is something I wouldn't shut up about the other day, but it means sm to me and if I'm yelling about my headcanons about them it'd be a crime to not mention it.

I don't think Einstein ever said anything to Tesla after she wasn't able to get her degree too. She never mentioned it nor did she really care. It's hard to explain but she knew that a silly piece of paper didn't determine how much she actually knew essentially. She saw her as her equal and not having a diploma wouldn't change that.

Another headcanon I have is that Einstein dragged Tesla along with her to Lab 42 and refused to work with anyone else other than her. Reason they went to Britain in particular is just because that's where Schicksal assigned them, and it got Tesla away from Dipshit 1 so it worked.

Taking a short break from that but I want to just say how much I legitimately think they care for each other. It's shown in the VN a little, but not much since it's coming from Welt's POV and both of them aren't as affectionate in front of others since yanno. Professionals.

They're really the only two people who actually understood each other in a sense. Like with Ein people mostly just saw her as a child prodigy who thought she was better than everyone else, and Tesla was just seen as an angry ridiculous person who was too emotional and needed to act her age.

It's difficult to explain, but I hope you kinda get the idea. Ein didn't have to act like a mature adult when around Tes and could actually just act like herself. Same went for Tesla, and she didn't have to worry about being belittled for just existing in a way others deemed childish. I've said this before and I'll say it again. A lot of what Tesla get's upset over makes sense. She HAS A RIGHT to be upset over it.

Along with this I hc Tesla as having ADHD and depression which makes her situation worse since emotional dysregulation often comes hand in hand with it. Literally only thing getting mad at her for the way she reacts does is make the situation worse. Hence why when Tesla gets mad at Welt Ein tells him to just leave her alone and don't bring it up again.

I could make an entire post explaining why I think ADHD Tesla is real, but that's the basic parts that's needed for this so.

Einstein actually made an effort to understand and over time they've come to a point where they've developed ways to actually communicate even when Tesla's on the verge of murder. Like Tesla has slight differences that she's caught on to and is able to use that to figure out how to help. She'll just try to give her space and just do small things to try to help calm her down as much as she can. Either that or she'll just sit / lay with her for awhile to make sure she either A. falls asleep or B. knows she's there for her and hopefully allow her to feel like talking.

The same goes for Einstein as well. Tesla helps her in ways that she herself doesn't even realize, yet they mean the world to Einstein. She'll be in a bad mood or having a bad day and then as soon as Tesla starts ranting and rambling about something she'll immediately start feeling better. If she knows that Einsteins having a bad day she'll start doing things in an attempt to help her feel better. She'll immediately go into over protective wife mode and make her favorite meal, watch her favorite show with her, etc.

This is just a side note, but I like to believe that Einstein made Tesla stop drinking. She got worried and basically said "No we're stopping this now." Let me cope okay.

Back to my nonsense from before, Planck knew before anyone else about their feelings for each other. She's the living embodiment of the homophobic dog meme and I will not elaborate further. Now she never explicitly says she knows, but I mean considering how much she relentlessly teases Tesla over it.. Yeah she knew. She probably took bets on how long it'd take for them to actually start dating with her co workers tbh.

Anyways, soon after they went to work in Lab 42 their stupidity just escalated. They made their lesbianism everyone elses problem. The Finn was convinced that they were dating. Truly their #1 ally. Though I will say they probably just got even closer during this time period. It was during this time that they made their little robots in their stupid little rivialry, and it was just chaos. They caused a few explosions by mistake, but sometimes things happen yanno?

Often times they'd stay up late either in their lab or just talking in one of their rooms. There was a few times where they'd be waiting for something to process and 'accidentally' fall asleep on each other. Though tbh they're probably really affectionate in general. Tesla's protective of her to begin with, and Einsteins an absolute menace who enjoys teasing and embarrassing her any chance she gets. It was probably around this time that Einstein knew something was up but she herself was too oblivious to actually realize it. They're both just disasters and got so used to existing like that it wasn't until Welt came around and suddenly became homophobic that she was like "oh. Is this not normal?"

Tesla and Einstein became even more inseparable after the 1955 incident. While before they could still act as functioning humans, after that they would start panicking if they didn't see the other. They had constant nightmares after that and honestly probably couldn't even sleep unless they knew the other was by them. Over the years it got better, but even to this day they still get panicky sometimes when their depression / ptsd flairs up.

This eventually led to them holding hands / each other in their sleep just to make sure they both knew the other was still there and safe, and it just became a habit they still continue to this day even if the nightmares are rarer than they once were.

I've written about this before I think, but I like to think that after the events of November 24th that as soon as Einstein woke from her coma she immediately started trying to figure out where Tesla had gone and immediately went looking for her. It just makes the most sense to me, honestly.

LESS DEPRESSING THINGS ASIDE!! WHILE I'M THINKING ABOUT IT!! Einstein 100% does Tesla's hair and make up often just because she's 'too tired' to do it herself. It started off as that, but eventually it just became a common occurrence just because it give's them an excuse to be stupid and show care for the other. Tesla loves when she does it because she's just a cat pretending to be a human and loves the attention. Fun fact she's probably gotten better at doing it than Tesla herself. I like to imagine that Tesla gets frustrated when dealing with knots so Ein helps get them out for her. Funnily enough she does a better job at taking care of Tesla's hair than Tesla herself. Despite Einstein not really having knots or tangles, she's surprisingly really good at getting rid of them. Tesla barely even feels anything, even if the knots so bad you'd think a tornado hit her.

Speaking of cat pretending to be a human, Tesla has these little noises that she'll make. It sounds stupid yes, but Einstein learned what each one means over the years. Tesla will be laying there and make a happy little noise without thinking about it and she'll just smile to herself.

Tesla also had this stuffed cat that she still has to this day that she cherishes deeply, and they both have plans on adopting a kitten one day and naming it after it. This is something that I'll write a fic about eventually, but she's just as big of a menace as they are.

There's also been a few times where Einstein just fell asleep on Tesla while she just gave her little scritches after she either had a bad day or work tried to kill them both. Which is often both.

OH and on the topic of them being soft and gay.. Einstein keeps their room freezing cold because she over heats easily and can't stand the heat. This, of course, only results in Tesla shoving herself as close to her as humanly possible because she's cold, but no matter what she'd probably be doing that anyways tbh. At least this way they both win. Though Tesla actually doesn't mind as much as she complains about it. However it also becomes a slight problem because Tesla's hair gets stuck in the buttons on Einsteins pajamas LMAO. They're a little dumb.

Speaking of being dumb, Tesla losing her immunity to the cold is literally just because of her own actions. What if I told you that although she was immune to the cold she just started complaining just to get Einstein to hold her which led to her getting too used to it and actually starting to get cold.

Einstein relentlessly bullies Tesla for being a ginger. That is all.

They have a secret language that they use to talk with each other. Yes, they formed an entire language. Yes it uses the most complex mathematical equations you've ever seen. It was originally made to quickly talk to each other through someone else, but it very quickly devolved into both of them using it just to talk without anyone else knowing.

The amount of times poor Joachim has had to take file folders between the two because they 'accidentally took the others work' is too many to count. He's been delivering their angry ramblings to each other for years and he doesn't even know it.

I've mentioned this somewhere else before, but they both keep each other alive in a sense. Without the other they both just kinda start questioning why they're still there. They're the light of each others life even if they bicker like an old married couple.

Tesla will come up with the strangest inventions / experiments but without fail you will find Einstein either A. Helping her with said strange invention or experiment, or B. somewhere nearby to make sure she doesn't get herself killed. The popcorn machine incident must not be forgotten.

Tesla also steals Einstein's jacket any chance she gets. Though they both do, to be honest. It's just less noticeable when Einstein steals Tesla's because it's often when they're off work and are just staying home or going out to see the light of day and touch grass.

Oh fun fact, a majority of the Anti-Entropy staff already knew that they were dating before they did. When they finally 'officially' were they all just acted surprised. Tesla wasn't amused. At all.

If one of them has a long day at work and the other is working in their office they'll just sit there with the other while they work. There's actually been a few times where Tesla or Einstein would just sit on the others lap watching as they work.

They adopted Joachim after the events of the VN and ever since then he's been stuck in a constant loop of "Go as your mom" and "Go ask your mother." He's so tired he can't deal with them and their shenanigans anymore.

Einstein secretly has a photo album that she keeps and updates with pictures of them and Joachim, little letters they've written to each other, and a few other important things that she plans on showing Tesla eventually. When? No clue. Probably an anniversary date, or a day that's really important to them.

Despite all they've been through whenever they're alone together they're able to act like their old selves again. They also tend to call each other by their actual names instead of their last names (Lieserl and Nikola respectively). Everything just feels as if nothing happened and that they're just stupid teenage scientists again. They have so many inside jokes with each other that you could make an entire novel just out of the ones that come to mind first.

In a timeline where god didn't completely hate them I like to think that them, Karl, Welt Joyce, Emma Planck, Elysia, and Eden were all just a stupid little family. When they eventually got married they made Welt be the flower girl and their robots were the ring bearers. Why they made him be the flower girl? It was Tesla's idea. They're mortal enemies yet they're the best of friends. He's just glad that she didn't make him stand still as a decoration. Take what you can get yanno.

Einstein basically grounded Tesla after she pulled her little stunt during the HoV's awakening. Tesla walked up to her talking about how she managed to make make the honkai cure and how she did it without anyone else's help. Yeah Einstein proceeded to pass out cold and didn't wake up for several hours. She was Not Happy. They got lucky Himeko took the L for them because otherwise Anti-Entropy would've been at a disadvantage since one of their leaders was out cold.

Of course while Einstein was proud of her to a certain extent, she was MAD. Like SERIOUSLY UPSET. She understood why Tesla did it. She knew that Tesla had always felt bad for what happened to her (i.e. her son murdering her dad even if it was justified, and then her son lying to her which resulted in her becoming a valkyrie and essentially ruining her own life.), but at that moment she didn't care. She was scared and worried for her and refused to let her out of her sight for over a month.

The thing about it is that while she knows Tesla did the right thing, the fact she did that without someone else around scared her more than anything. She's always been reckless but never to the point of injecting literal honkai into herself. Everyone in her life has died from Honkai, or causes related to Honkai. She was scared. The realization the she nearly lost her sent her into a panic and she just. Passed out. Afterwards she went on a very long panic and anxiety fueled rant to her about how reckless and irresponsible she was, and that she needed to be more careful. The reasoning behind refusing to let her out of her sight is more complicated than just "You're in trouble."

The cure had barely been tested, and to be quite honest as much as she trusts Tesla's math and theories she did not trust Schicksals. She was scared that there would be side effects that they weren't aware of and that Tesla would get hurt, or worse. If something happened to her she knew that she was the only person who had ANY chance of saving her, and the thought of her getting hurt near the front lines without anyway to get to her made every moment she wasn't in her sight terrifying.

Of course Tesla wasn't amused by this, and complained the whole time, but hey. Sometimes you just do what you have to do. Tesla quickly became less mad when the next month was just spent with Ein giving her affection. When in doubt, give your angry cat wife affection. Will solve any problem, just trust me. Einstein made her promise after that she would never do anything like it ever again, and Tesla complained before agreeing just to get her to stop being mad lmao.

Tesla also gets extremely embarrassed when Einstein tries to show affection or flirt with her in front of others. The great Frederica Nikola Tesla can't be seen as weak or have anyone know she is emotionally vulnerable. Truly an absolute disaster of a lesbian and I love her for it.

On a more depressing note, Tesla despises Ein seeing her in the midst of a melt down / break down. She's open with her yeah but also there's been times where she just refused to even acknowledge soemthing was wrong which just ended with her locking herself in a room for several hours on end feeling miserable.

Tesla also learned how to sew. She did this purely because she wanted to fix Eins old scarf since it'd gotten torn up, and I like to think she made her a new one after the second eruption happened and well.. yanno... Tbh I feel like Tesla's picked up a ton of random hobbies specifically because she wanted to do something nice for Einstein.

Another little thing is that I think it'd be cute if Tesla and Einstein had matching plushies that they'd take with them whenever one had to go somewhere else and the other couldn't follow. It was effective, kinda. They still miss each other.

Ein and Tes will rope each other into doing the dumbest experiments known to man kind, but it's exciting to them

. Bonding hours until something goes wrong and their lab is destroyed for the sixth time that week and Joachims on their asses over it.

I like to think that Tesla will just come up with the strangest, most out of left field invention ever and Ein will help her with it even if she's questioning how she got here the entire time.

In current time Tesla and Einstein either have the best sleep schedule in the world or the most destroyed caffeine addicted highschooler who hasn't slept in sixty years schedule ever. There's no inbetween.

Neither really mind though. To be quite honest half the time they just stay up talking about whatever happened that day or some random experiment idea. Either that or Teslas ranting and rambling about how someone made her mad. It happens often.

They both will also stay up all night playing video games. Tesla bullies Einstein at how bad she is at them, but one of these days Einstein will beat her at her own game. Just watch her. She's determined.

They probably play Minecraft LMAO- I don't know why I can just see them playing it together. Tesla likes to build and Ein likes to watch her as she rambles on and on about what she's building. Einstein probably goes out to get the stuff she needs, and when she's not home she'll get on just to farm a bunch of stuff to help her out.

They probably have several entire pinterest boards full of building stuff tbh. I also think that Tesla probably went out of her way to make them both matching Minecraft skins because Einstein wouldn't change hers because she was too lazy.

Tesla also constantly steals Einsteins jacket just because. Though Einstein steals hers so they're even.

I feel like Einstein uses 'dear' a lot towards Tesla. I don't know why it just makes sense to me. She probably picked it up from Planck tbh.

A really REALLY cursed headcanon I have is that both the way they got together and the way they eventually got engaged / married was equally as big of a mess. Now, imagine the scene. You're sitting there minding your own business when you see the two anti entropy doctors just staring at each other because they just tried to propose to each other at the same exact time. They are now bickering over who gets to propose. You do not get paid enough to deal with this.

In the main universe I think their wedding was.. Extremely small tbh..

Planck was there, and they probably put a picture of Welt, Karl, and Schrodinger in the front seats so they could at least be apart of it even if they never got to see it for themselves. Though as depressing as this is Tesla made sure they went ALL OUT on it. Like this girl was planning for MONTHS IN ADVANCE and hand checked LITERALLY EVERYTHING. She even spent literal hours doing Eins make up for her and dressing her up for the funsies.

It wasn't even because she didn't trust her to look nice, it was literally just because Tesla wanted to make her feel special. She wanted to make sure she knew how important she was to her, and make her feel as special as Einstein had made her feel throughout the years. Einstein complained a bit, unsurprisingly. Though it was more out of boredom of having to sit there than actual annoyance at Tesla. Honestly it's still probably one of their most cherished memories tbh.

One of my favorite hcs is that they're both just rambling menaces. Tesla will be telling Einstein about a new hobby, interest, or fact she's learned and Einstein will sit there listening intently while asking questions since Tesla tends to have a difficult time fully explaining things bc adhd is a bitch. She also probably writes down notes as if she was studying in a class lmao. Along with that when Einstein starts rambling Tesla always listens and looks at her as if she's being told the most interesting thing in the world, even if it's something as small as a cool rock she found. It's not often she gets to see her so passionate and outwardly excited about something and she cherishes every moment it happens.

They'll both secretly do research into the others new obsession / interest so that they know what questions to ask and so they're able to talk to the other about it.

One of Tesla's favorite things about Einstein is just how she seems to light up when she's talking about something she's heavily interested in. Seeing her unfiltered genuine joy just does something to her and every time she see's her happy she can't help but fall in love all over again. She's stupid and seeing her wife happy and excited just makes her turn into a mess and her smile just kills her.

There's also little things that they like about each other that the other really has zero clue about. For example Tesla always wears this certain perfume and it's become almost a comforting thing for Ein as weird as it is to say. With Tesla it's mostly what I explained above. Seeing Einstein happy and enjoying life means more than anything to her.

Sometimes Tesla will just fall asleep on top of Ein while they're laying on the couch watching a show or something, or when they're just sitting near the fireplace in the winter.

Especially during the winter their favorite past time is curling up together under blankets and drink hot chocolate on their days off. Tesla has this love of peppermints that Einsteins been aware of for years at this point, and every time she makes them both some she always makes sure to stick a peppermint stick in for her. Tesla is somehow still always just as excited and surprised as the last time. Somehow.

OH OH OH!!! HOLIDAYS!! HOLIDAYS ARE HELL IN THE EINSLA HOME!!

Neither should be trusted in the kitchen. They're chaotic messes of human beings that would make Gordon Ramsay have second thoughts about his choice in profession. Though believe it or not Tesla and Einstein can cook, but they're stupid. Tesla is probably the better one of the two but they both put in the same amount of work. Especially when it comes to holiday meals. Though this also leaves them both in the kitchen.

Tesla and Einstein will be holding a knife and threaten the other with it, all the while teasing and smiling at each other. Though there's probably been a food fight at least a few times. The kitchen was a disaster by the end of it, but hey at least they got to enjoy the holiday with each other.

Actually speaking of cooking.. I like to think that if they know the others had a hard day at work before they got home that the other would try to have dinner done for them. Like if Einstein was having a bad day Tesla would try to make sure her favorite food was ready by the time she got back, and vice versa.

Though they also probably don't cook as often as they probably should lmao. Just like in lab 42 they probably survive off pizza deliveries.

Speaking of deliveries.. Einstein will come up with ridiculous names just to mess with Tesla. She can't use her real name since she's legally dead, and neither can Tesla since she should be dead too. Every time she chooses a name to be written down she tries to come up with the most normal yet extremely weird name just to see Tesla's reaction. It's almost never good. Tesla isn't amused by her wife choosing "Chad" as a name.

There's been several times where Tesla will do Einsteins make up only to forget that she's already done hers and go to kiss her, resulting in her accidentally messing the others up. She dies on the inside every single time. Einstein just teases her over it and tries to hide her smile.

Tesla's way of saying "I love you" is her saying "I will kill you."

Anytime Tesla threatens Einstein she just says "Oh, really now Nikola?" or "Oh, really now Dr. Tesla?" If they're by each other there's a 50/50 chance that she'll lay on or lean against the other and just say "You would never hurt me," just to mess with her. It works every time because Tesla just angrily seethes from embarrassment and annoyance.

Neither of them like keeping secrets from the other. They both have known each other so long and so well that they're able to tell when somethings off about the other. Even if it's just a slight change, it often means that something else is going on. The only secrets they keep from each other are when they're planning on surprising the other. However, everything else they try to talk about.

Tesla and Einstein went back to Lab 42 once, decades later. They'd managed to get it back relatively quickly, though neither had the strength to get themselves to go to it. When they went back memories flooded back, and they stayed for a few hours just reliving some of their happier memories there. Though they left pretty quickly since along with the good came reminders of their reality.

Tesla usually sleeps with soft and fluffy blankets and two or three stuffed animals. Of course she threatens Einstein and made her promise she'd never tell anyone, but it's still a fact.

Whenever Einstein's upset and having a bad mental health day Tesla often holds her and tries to comfort her. This is especially true during the winter months, since that's when things typically get bad for the both of them. Once you add on what happened in November and January first.. You have a recipe for disaster.

Both of them would do almost anything for the other. Even though they bicker a lot and mess with each other, they're just two idiots in love at the end of the day. I might make another post continuing this since I'm very much sure I've missed something, but here's the ones I can currently remember. I have another hc post I'll link below.

I have A Lot more that involve other characters so I'll be making a post about that soonish. I'd add them in here but I'm emotionally and mentally exhausted because god hates me, and this post has already gotten long enough (I believe it's around 5k words now.. Sorry..)

I love them sm and you have no clue how happy it makes me knowing that people like hearing about my headcanons about these two. I think about them too much honestly.. Idk they're just my little stupid children that help me cope. My dumbasses. My daughters. My little losers. Girlfailure x Girlboss.

#honkai impact 3rd #frederica nikola tesla #lieserl albert einstein #nikola responds to asks #einsla #patches HCs #nikola rambles #I'm so sorry this is so long.. I don't get the opportunity to go full on ramble mode since I tend to post on twt mainly #and when I ramble in my friends dms it's often just in short bursts since it can get annoying quickly #I love these two sm like you don't even understand #nikolas posts

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robotgirldisc · 1 year

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Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you'd like to know better!

Tagged by @petallswildsurge

What book are you currently reading?

I've had Gideon the Ninth on my nightstand for months now, I do really wanna finish it, but I find I struggle with keeping focused on printed books

Online I'm reading Zoe Storm's Bradford McKinley series, I really like book 3 and 4 Performative Masculinity and To Own the Libs, and the first two chapters of book 5 are out on her patreon and look really promising

What do you usually wear?

Jeans and hoodie is my usual lazy-fit, I'll wear a denim jacket or t-shirts based on occasion and weather. I used to wear a skirts every day pre-pandemic, but I didn't bother when I was stuck at home for months, and then I kinda fell out of the habit

How tall are you?

I'm 5'6'' (and a half, but I only bring up the half inch cus of a certain someone who says she's 5'6'' despite actually being 5'5'' and a half)

What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

Gemini, I can't think of anyone who shares my birthday

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

I have like 4 names in my bio, I'd say one of them is a nickname and the other three are regular names. I'd say the regular names get more use

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child?

I did a paid internship as ambulance personnel for like a year before figuring out that my social anxiety and inability to hold a conversation made me unable to continue in that field. On a positive note, dropping out of that was what got me into therapy for the first time, and while the quality of the care I got that time wasn't the best, it at least made therapy seem less forbidden to me, which I ended up needing later on.

What’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

I'd like to think I'm a pretty good game master. I've been doing it for over a decade now, so I feel pretty confident (I still get some pre-game nerves tho)

I'm not very good at keeping things organized.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

idk if he's my favorite, but the most successful npc I've created for a campaign this year was Puck the fae prince from the monsterhearts campaign I MCed over this summer. the Players seemed to get very invested in him. I'm very attached to a lot of NPCs from that campaign, but they're from an older campaign, so they weren't created this year

Dogs or cats?

I like both, but I'm slightly more of a dog person

What's something you would like to create content for?

I really wanna get into TCG design in some capacity, whether that's for an exiting game or an original creation

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

I've been obsessively making new commander decks this week

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

my birthday this year was a bit of a letdown

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I taught myself to finger count up to 31 on one hand (or 1023 on two hands) when I was 15 and hyper-obsessing on number systems

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

I wish I had all the Christmas presents I'm gifting ready, I'm way behind this year

Tagging @lovingpoet @trans-sachlichkeit @zeroraiser and @thegreatandpowerfulversy but no pressure to respond

#tag game

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craftypentacle · 2 years

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Hello, tumblr.

So we meet again...

I believe this is my seventh tumblr account, most of which were created before the age of 16. Not this one. This is my brand new account with my fairly brand new email.

I've been wanting a way to document my life for myself that's not just me journaling on my google docs. I guess I'm more likely to turn to an app to rant than to pull out my laptop and open my journal google doc.

So yes, I am here for me, but I am hoping that maybe I can make some friends along the way. I had started a tumblr attached to the same email as some of my old ones, but it didn't feel right. Whenever I opened my dashboard, I was bombarded with things that represented my teenage self. I wasn't that person anymore. I am not that person anymore... and yet I am...

I am also hoping that this can be an outlet that I use to try and make sense of the world, spark conversation, or help someone else figure out their place or beliefs. I like to think I'm spiritual because I care about being a good person and I do it in a way that acknowledges that there is more to me than this physical body.

I want to use this as a reflection of myself. I want to look into her and see them stare back.

Although sitting here, I think about all the ways that that could end up not happening. I can see myself perhaps being in the wrong in a situation and not acknowledging it. I don't know for what, because normally when I'm in the wrong I don't realize it until days later and so I don't have many examples of times when I do know I'm in the wrong in the moment.

But if I lie in any blog post, anyone who stumbles across it would not know. This is one way I could hold myself accountable.

Having tangible evidence of my current self, which will later become cringey as all hell.

I don't think I am making any sense any more. I'm a little stoned- probably a lotta stoned- and letting myself just think theoretical thoughts. That can be fun, but if I am not writing out every single thought connection, then I will not be making sense.

And if you've made it this far, I guess you get to read a little bit about me :)

You can call me Taro

I am 21, almost 22.

Sun sign: Virgo

Moon sign: Libra

Rising sign: Leo

I don't think I have a favorite color... that's a lie, it's blue. As soon as I started typing anything else, it was just wrong. And no one would've known but me.

I hate lying. The fact that I'm bringing up lying so much is so questionable - I didn't mention that this is likely a chance to psychoanalyze myself, did I?

I am a proud stoner - I think I smoked weed before I drank. Still was only 20 when I started smoking but still lmao

I am currently a student working on my first year certification for my major, although this is the third college I've been to since graduating high school.

I am spiritual in the sense that I am working on being a good person (1. I just wanna be... yk, bc it's a good thing to be and 2. my major requires strong ethics and morals in the field and I don't want to worry that I am making the wrong decision as far as being equal or equitable - depending on the scenario) and I am doing so by acknowledging that there is more to me than just my physical body.

I have been studying tarot on and off for two years now, although my primary use of it has been for self reflection and growth. Only recently have I started trying to read for friends.

In my free time, I like to walk for an hour at the gym. My favorite form of exercise is pole dancing.

I live with my legal guardian since I was 3, I am working towards government assistance to leave with a place to go.

My favorite game is minecraft. Second favorite is snake.

anyway, yeah...uhhh that's some of me :)

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chapter1991 · 9 months

Text

Heart Attack

Jesse, a shameless flirt who doesn't do commitment because of his previous relationship years ago. Lennox, an aspiring writer, who enjoys her single life and her time with her family and friends. Both with a difficult past to leave behind. Both with invisible scars that prevent them from letting anyone in.

What would happen when those two finally meet? Will they be able to move on from the past or will those memories tear them apart?

Book 1 of the Cambridge Series

Chapter 1

Jesse

I was two months into my last year at Cambridge University. For the past two months, me and my team have been practicing almost every day. We lost the championship last year by just a few points, and that is not going to happen again. This year we will win! A few hours ago, we had won our first game of the year. It was a friendly game, but still. The party was still going on downstairs. I left my teammates and the party goers to enjoy themselves while I would enjoy myself with a pretty little redhead that was cheering in the stands earlier. She wanted to celebrate me, so before I could do anything, she sank to her knees and pulled my trousers down. I wasn't about to complain.

The next morning, she had left before I finished my shower. That is how I preferred, that is what the birds know to expect from me. No cuddling, no attachments and leaving before I exit the shower or preferably not even staying the night. Just in my boxers, I made my way down to the kitchen. The only one that was awake was Daniel's girlfriend. Dark-skinned with amazing curls and stunning grey-blue eyes. She could be a model if she wasn't set on becoming a surgeon. She was one of the smartest people I had ever met. How Daniel managed to snare her, remains the question. She was sitting at the kitchen island, books sprawled around her as she studied. She was wearing Daniel's shirt and sweats, her feet bare as they rested on the foot stand of the barstool.

Without looking up, she pushed the teapot towards me.

"Thanks." I murmured.

"I saw Giselle leave twenty minutes ago."

"Who?" I asked. Oh. Oooh. "Ah, right. Giselle."

She put her head in her hand and looked up to me. "Oh, Jesse. What I am to do with you." She sighed.

"There is nothing to do with me. I'm perfectly fine."

She snorted. "That's why there is a new girl leaving your room every weekend."

"Having sex is part of being young, Amara."

"That's true. But you had seven different bed partners since school started. That's just..." She scrounged up her nose. "Nasty. And they are out of your bed and out of the house before you wake up."

"Jake has sex. So do all the other guys."

"None of them as much as you. Or at least not with so many different partners. Most of them have... regulars."

That was possible true. I never had real interest in what girls come and go in the house. But I wasn't interested in regulars or relationships. I'm not interested in getting too close to any bird at the moment. From the whole team, Daniel was the only one currently in a relationship. He had managed to snag Amara up in the first year of college and they have been together ever since. All the others had multiple girlfriends over the years. Some more serious than others.

"Don't worry, I'm always safe and I get tested every three months. I'm clean."

"I know, because if you weren't I wouldn't be sitting in this house." She grinned, I chuckled. Daniel and Amara were in my year, so I've known her since I started here at Cambridge. It was one of the few girls I was close to. Or what you can call close. I have a lot of male friends, but girls... no. Not even a handful of girls would I call close. "You're a great guy, Jesse. But are you really going through life like this? Going from one girl to the other?"

"You know I don't do commitment, and you know why." I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"I do." She said as she highlighted a sentence. "But what if the right girl comes around?"

"I probably wouldn't know, since I don't talk to girls. And besides this is my last year. With football and my classes, the chances are big that I won't stay in the UK after school. So, no need to get close to anyone."

She looked at me for a moment. And I knew she was about to say something else, but she closed her mouth as Daniel walked in.

"Seriously, Jesse?" He groaned, dropping next to his girlfriend. "Couldn't you at least wear a shirt?"

"And deprive Amara of my glorious six-pack? I wouldn't dream of it." I winked at Amara. I could just duck in time for the bread roll Daniel tossed at my head. When I looked back, Daniel gave his girlfriend a good morning kiss. It was nauseatingly sweet. I was glad they were the only couple in the house.

A few weeks later, I was in the middle of a football match when the reflection of the sunlight almost blinded me. I looked at the stadium, trying to find whatever it was. Then my eyes found the source. It was something small, something metallic. A girl was sitting sideways on the stands, her back against the side wall. She had a dark blond bob, her hair falling in front of her face as she read a book. She was twirling something metallic between her fingers as she read. In her hair was a diadem in the school colours but she wasn't watching the game for one bit. What was a bookworm doing at the football game?

"Jesse!" I turned away from the girl to look at Bryn, who had called for me. He had kicked the ball towards me, and I was just in time to take over and make my way towards the goal.

After the game, that we lost, we made our way to the locker room. I looked over my shoulder to the stands again, she was placing the metallic thing between her pages and closed the book. But she didn't move, she just leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

"Jake." I pulled his sleeve and he stopped to look at me. He had black curly hair, that was half tied up. His green eyes that stood out from his bronze skin was a shoo-in with the girls. He didn't hook-up with as much girls as I did, but he was more social with them. Like he really talked to them and knew their friends and sorts. He would probably know who she was. "Who's that?" I nudged my head towards the girl. "The one that's reading. The bookworm."

Jake looked over his shoulder for barely a second before he frowned. "You're kidding, right?"

"Uhm, no?" I frowned slightly. "What, who is she?"

"That's Bryn's sister."

That was news to me. I never heard him talk about a sister. Nor had I ever seen her around. I blinked up at Jake, who was slightly taller than me. "Bryn has a sister. Since when?"

"Since birth." He said, clearly annoyed that I didn't know. "They are twins, Jess." My mouth bobbed like a fish. I really had no idea. "But don't you even think about it." He warned, prodding my chest with his finger.

"About what?"

"Messing around with her. Bryn is very protective of her and since I've known her since we were five, I am too. So, don't think about whatever it is your thinking about. You stay well clear of her."

I always knew Jake and Bryn had been friends before university, but I didn't know they were that close. It is the first time I've seen Jake so protective about anyone. I didn't want to find out how protective Bryn was. I put up my hands. Because he had a good point. I don't do relationships, not since – Well I've just been hooking-up with girls at parties and such for the past two years. I wasn't looking for anything serious. So, I understood where he was coming from.

"I wasn't thinking anything like that." I said. "Her bookmark thingy literally almost blinded me on the field. So, I was just wondering who would come to a match without looking up from a book. But I guess she's here to support you and Bryn. Even though she doesn't watch the game and rather enjoy reading in a full stadium."

Jake was still frowning as he looked at me. He shook his head and started for the locker room. "You couldn't be more wrong." He said before he disappeared inside.

I looked back at the almost empty stands. She was still sitting there, but now she was talking to a guy that was crouched down on the stand behind her. She said something, that made the guy grin wide before she kissed him on the cheek, very close to his mouth and walked out of the stadium.

Win or lose, we always had a party at our student house not far from Cambridge University. But this loss hit hard. Not only because it was the first loss of this year, but this was also the last year at Cambridge for a lot of us on the team. Including me, Bryn and Jake. Beer and hard liquor were presented at the large kitchen island as party goers came trickling in. As captain of our football team, I gave them an inspirational speech in the locker room earlier. But now wasn't the time for speeches, now it was a time for drinking. We all had a shot glass in our hands as we lifted it to the air.

"The Blues!" I shouted.

"The Blues!" The others chorused and we tipped back the shot glasses.

We drifted off after that. All going to their current boyfriends or girlfriends or looking for a hook up. I had put my hand against the wall where a pretty second year was leaning against. Her name was Lily or Lola or was it Lorena? It didn't matter, she knew who I was and how I worked. As I whispered something in her ear and she giggled, I saw Jake and Bryn on the other side of the room talking. Bryn frowned at something Jake had said and then his eyes shifted towards me. I raised my eyebrow at them, but they didn't respond. I turned back to the girl with an L in her name. Jake was probably making a too big deal about me asking about Bryn's sister. I didn't even know he had a sister. I really needed a distraction after we lost the match, so I looked back at the girl. I gave her a smile that worked on all the girls and the next second she was kissing me. I pushed myself flush against her as I deepened the kiss. Yes, this was a distraction I needed. Her hands roamed quickly under my shirt and over my abs.

"Erin!" I heard someone shout. The girl pulled back and looked at a group of girls standing together. One was sending daggers towards Erin. So, not Lily or anything with an L in it. Oops. I really wanted to kiss Lily, no- Erin again but I noticed that one of the girls was a past hook-up. And it looked like that she didn't enjoy her friend doing the same. Bloody girls and their packs. I wasn't sure what Erin wanted to do, go back to her friends or finish what we started. But her hands were still under my shirt.

Anything I had planned to do to her vanished from my mind though when Bryn's sister walked in. I don't know why but my eyes followed her as she walked through the room. She was wearing simple white sneakers with a skirt long enough to tease any man or woman who wanted to know what it was underneath. Above she wore a lace white top that just reached her collar bones. It wasn't something scandalous or outrageously sexy like most of the girls were wearing, but somehow, she got the attention from not only me, but other men around the party. She wasn't my usual type with shorter hair and a curvy body. But still my eyes followed her.

She had a purse over her shoulder, just big enough to hold the book she was reading earlier. If she could read a book during a football match, it wouldn't surprise me she could probably read one during a loud, drunk frat party. She kissed her brother on the cheek before doing the same to Jake. He curled his arm around her back, resting it really close to her bum. That wasn't just a friendly touch. I stepped away from Lily- fuck, Erin, as I saw all of my teammates gather around them before they all dutifully followed her to the kitchen. What the fuck? Did everyone know about her except me? And why are they following her?"

"Sorry, Li- Erin. I have to go." I said and followed the team to the kitchen.

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kakiwrites · 3 years

Text

gambling for your hand

Genre: crack and fluff

A shuntaro chishiya x reader

A kakegurui AU!

Synopsis: You were forced to attend hyakkaou academy with your brother, rin and hia childhood friend, ibara. You truly had no intention of gambling not until you meet eyes with a certain blonde student. Shuntaro chishiya decides to challenge your amused brother in a gamble. the bet? Your hand. What happens when rin decides to intentionally lose to throw you into a journey through wonderland with your new master?

a/n: yes, I am still obsessed with kakegurui and rin leave me alone 🙄 I'm also planning on writing for rin very soon hehe. I just miss the aib fandom so amma try to contribute a bit more! Hope you guys enjoy! Let's get started.

"okay, I get why you're here but why did I have to get dragged into this?" you grumbled to Rin Obami, your charismatic brother. your driver stopped in front of the main entrance of hyakkaou academy. So this was where the head of the hundred devouring families ruled.

"because you're the heiress of the Obami family after me." the swindler turned to face you, nudging you teasingly. "and I actually want you to join in on the fun." he joked. You rolled your eyes at this notion. He took your hand and pulled you out of the car. He Let go of your hand and proceeded to walk beside you in the halls with his head held high. His true emotions hidden under his smiling mask.

You knew he doesn't always smile like this. Carrying the family name on his shoulders whittled the poor man down at such a young age. You were born a year later. Rin was attached to you by the hip. He chose to protect you. You were thankful that Rin kept you from experiencing all that pressure and helped you grow up differently from him. He wanted you to experience the things he hadn't had a chance to see.

Rin wasn't just your brother, he grew up as a father figure for you. This was the least you could do to support him.

Soon, you reached the closed door of the student council room. In the hallway, everyone else from momobami family branches. You glanced at Rin's unwavering posture before you plastered on your practiced charismatic grin. you dove in head first to reconvene with your old colleagues.

It was time to get ready to take back the crown from the reigning queen of the families.

The introduction was quick and straight to the point. This election was about the other family heads going up against the current leader. You couldn't care less about this whole vote thing. You knew Rin would say the opposite. He must've hatched a plan to get more votes despite being the new kid by now.

You planned on playing a simple game of rock paper scissors against your brother in front of a moderator by the end of the day. But plans changed.

The cafeteria was littered with people trying to gamble their vote chips away for fun. Some people gambled out of boredom, some gambled to rise up the ranks and maybe even get a shot of winning the seat of student council president. Either way, you didn't care.

"do you have something up your sleeve, Rin?" you asked as you slurped some of your ramen. Ibara's eyes lit up as he rambled about the new scumcoin system Rin came up with while the man himself just sat with that same charismatic grin as he scrolled through his phone.

The small tranquil moment was ruined when a student came up to the table, clearing his throat to gain your table's attention. Rin placed his phone on the table then rested his chin on his hand in anticipation. This aught to be good.

"hello," the man who spoke was a lean male with long blond locks that framed his face. His hands were tucked into his pressed red uniform. "I was wondering if anyone was willing to gamble their vote chips with me." he said, pulling out about ten vote chips from his pocket. Rin's forced smile grew wider at the man. The slight twitch in his grin didn't go unnoticed to you. Was he irritated because the stranger interrupted one of the tranquil moments he can enjoy or was he amused because a student was willing to gamble with him?

"well, I'm not interested in gambling. Sorry." you said, taking another slurp of ramen as you tapped your sole vote chip on the desk. You were startled when you saw Rin shift in his seat enthusiastically.

"I'm willing to gamble." Rin raised his hand up only for him to falter and try to put it back down. "but I don't have many votes yet…" he pouted. You turned to see that the blonde was just smirking at your brother while he tossed the chips in his palm.

"that's fine. I think we have something to gamble on." the stranger said, turning to you with a glint in his eye. Your eyes snapped back to your smug brother who still smiled, only this time it was filled with malice. No. he was not serious with this, right? Right? Rin arched his brow at the male, gesturing for him to continue.

"We can play a bit of concentration." the stranger said, pulling a deck of cards from his other pocket. "if you win, I'll give you all my votes, I have 12 so far." he said, tossing his votes on the lunch table. His gaze turned to you, his smirking widening. "but if I win, I get to have her as my kitty." he pointed at you. You stood up in shock. No way. No fucking way.

You opened your mouth to speak only to get stopped by Rin who stood beside you. "we have a deal." your brother lent his hand for the stranger to shake. The stranger only chuckled before he linked his hand with your brother's and shook it.

"woah woah woah! Hold on a second!" you tried to gain the pair's attention. "first off, we don't even know you." you pointed out, crossing your arms. "second, I am not going to be used for a gamble, Rin." you grumbled, poking your hand into Rin's chest causing the man to chuckle in amusement.

"oh come on, (y/n), it might be fun~ trust me on this one. Right mr…" Rin tried to reassure you. He paused and turned to the smirking blonde in front of you.

"chishiya." he finished your brother's sentence, flashing you with a menacing smirk that made a shiver shoot up your spine.

"well, chishiya. Let's get started?" Rin waved his hand over the table, inviting him to get the cards out. Chishiya chuckled before he nodded, opening the new deck and placing it on the table.

Even though you trusted your brother to win this, his grin felt like it had a different intention. You could only hope it wasn't the case, that Rin was actually taking this gamble seriously.

Rin was definitely not taking this seriously. That bastard.

You and ibara were on the edge of your seat as you watched Chishiya get three pairs in a row. You didn't know if Rin was fucking with you or if chishiya was just that good.

"and that's the end." chishiya said, pulling the final pair he needed to win the game. You looked over at Rin and instead of that old fake grin he always had on or that scowl that occasionally would slip out if he lost, his face wore a small taunting pout. It took all your strength to jump up from your seat and strangle him.

"such a bummer... What can i do? I lost fair and square." Rin shrugged. He slouched as he sat back down and let out a small disappointed sigh. It was blatantly obvious that he was faking it. "a deal's a deal. (y/n) is your new kitty." Rin gestured to Chishiya to look at you. you unconsciously gritted your teeth.

"your little act is so obvious despite being raised by swindlers." you rolled your eyes. Your statement gained you your brother's attention. "okay, spill it. Why the fuck did you decide to lose on purpose?" you grumbled. You didn't care if Chishiya could listen in on the conversation. You needed answers. Now.

Rin darkly chuckled. There was definitely an ulterior motive here. You were going to get to the bottom of it.

"come on, (y/n). This is going to be a good learning experience for you. Besides, i'm sure chishiya will throw you for a loop and maybe even help you enjoy your stay here!" Rin encouraged you. You were speechless. So he really wanted you to do this, huh?

"ugh, fine. It's not like i have a choice." you groaned. You stood from your seat and walked toward the lean male. "hello chishiya..." you said curtly, causing the blonde's smirk to grow wider.

"hello little kitty~" he replied to you. He took a step closer to taunt you. You felt your cheeks grow hot at this notion. "we should get going. So much for you to see in wonderland~" he sang. You could've sworn he winked at you before he turned his back and walked out of the cafeteria.

You glanced back at your smug brother and his friend one last time before you jogged out of the cafeteria to catch up with your new master.

You could tell that this was going to be hell.

Chishiya led you into one of the many lounge rooms. He opened the door to reveal three people inside. There was a girl with braids in her hair, her feet up on the coffee table in the middle of the room. There was a short-haired girl who sat beside a soft looking guy, a chain wrapped around his neck, the words 'house pet' visible from where you stood by the entrance.

"welcome back, chishiya!" the girl with the braids said, kicking her feet off the table. It was then she finally properly noticed you. She tilted her head in confusion. It seemed like they rarely had guests in their little friend group.

Chishiya placed the stack of vote chips he accumulated for the day on the coffee table before he sat down himself. His observant eyes locked onto yours, telling you to sit down with the group.

"are you going to introduce us?" the short-haired girl asked. the anxious boy who fiddled with the chain around his neck. You sat down between chishiya and the girl with the braids who chewed on some gum stick while her eyes roamed up and down your body.

"this is (y/n), my new kitty." chishiya whispered with a proud smirk, his fingers ghosting over the skin of your arm, causing you to shiver and pull away. Chishiya couldn't help but chuckle. "(y/n), the girl beside you is Kuina, the short-haired girl on the doggy's lap is usagi and the house pet is Arisu. Get acquainted with them cause you'll be hanging out with them until you can get out of here."

You rolled his eyes at him. Why was he so casual about this? Well, you weren't just going to take this lying down. You stood up. Chishiya only arched his brow at you expectantly. You felt a strong urge to punch him.

"okay, what's the big deal? Why did you play against my brother and why did you use me as a prize?" you asked angrily. The other three people just watched this unfold in their seats, interested to see where this conversation was going.

"well, because playing against new students are fun. Gives them an impression what gambling here is all about. It wasn't my fault that your brother agreed to our gamble." chishiya replied nonchalantly. He leaned in his seat, picked up a vote chip from the small pile and started playing with it in his fingers, aiming to spite you. And boy, did it work.

"so how can I get out of this deal?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. All you wanted was to support Rin and help him though the fog that clouded his mind at times. But now, you're doomed to stay by chishiya's side. Not if you can handle it. There has to be a way out.

chishiya wasn't all that uptight. He was more than willing to play along and negotiate. You never realized the glint in his eyes had the effect of get on people's nerves easily. Maybe he was doing it on purpose to anger you more. Emotions and gambling did not bode well. He was using people's emotions against them. And frankly, this spell was working on you too. The irritation of not being able to support Rin was nipping at you and you just wanted to go.

And it was clear that you were willing to do anything to grasp that freedom.

The only thing chishiya has to do now was wait for you to bite down. With enough patience, you'll playing right into his little game, a truly difficult one to get out of.

To chishiya, You just might be his most amusing little plaything.

"how about this, you can challenge me to any game you wish, whenever you feel like it." chishiya proposed, making sure the other people in the room could hear him loud and clear, making them witnesses to the deal he wanted to make.

"there's a catch, is there?"

"bingo~" he sang, slouching in his seat, "the bets will always stay the same. If you win, you'll get to leave. No questions asked." he said as he stood up. He took a step toward you, further startling you when he placed his fingers under your chin, making you look into his cat-like eyes. "but if I win, you'll have to stay and get to know me better~"

You reel back in disgust. No fucking way. He must be kidding. By the looks of his widening grin, it was definitely a sick joke. He couldn't help but laugh at your reaction. "oh how dirty~" he teased, dropping his arm around your shoulder. "don't worry, those aren't my intentions. I meant you'll have to stay with my colleagues and I and hang out with us until you have guts you challenge me again." you let out the breath you were nervously holding in. "so, do we have a deal?" he finally asked, lending a hand out for you to shake.

You didn’t see any other option so you swallowed up your pride and shake the blonde's hand, thinking of the games and strategies to play against the blonde man above you.

It was harder than you thought.

Everyday for the next few weeks, you would challenge him to a game and everyday he would catch on to your strategy and crush to a pulp.

It wasn't all that bad, kuina, arisu and usagi were there to keep you company, getting you to laugh when you felt down from another loss.

"you know, you should take a break and have a bit of fun with us." Kuina nudged you out of your thoughts, handing you seven uno cards. You sighed before taking it from her, albeit, very hesitantly. "oh come on, don't look at me like that. There's no bet involved." kuina reassured you, making you smile, looking at the starting card, a yellow 6.

After playing for a while, the topics branched out from the game to the only person not in the room, chishiya.

"chishiya might look laid-back and easy to get to, but he's really clever." Arisu said, placing down a red stop card to keep usagi from playing her card. "that's why I gambled with him and That was a very bad decision." he shivered in his seat, causing the rest of you to burst into a fit of laughter.

"but really, (y/n), he cares about you, more than the rest of us." usagi said, watching you place down a +4, looking up from the table in confusion.

"look, chishiya is very difficult to read but it isn't impossible, especially if you're his 'colleague'." kuina made quotation marks with her hand. "he would ask us about your well-being every day." kuina smirked, locking eyes with Arisu who smiled back at her.

"and remember those chocolates I gave you after one of your games? Those were from him, said I should give them to you if you looked upset with the loss." Arisu continued Kuina's statement, his eyes locked on kuina's hand that picked up four cards from the deck.

you felt your face heat up. Could it be that the emotionless chishiya actually feels something for you? Did you feel something for him?

Well, if you based your emotions on your quickening heartbeat, maybe that was the case. You're in love with your master and you haven't realized it before it was too late. You're in too deep. The group watched as you buried your face into your hands in thought. What could you do to confirm your suspicions? You dug through your thoughts for a while before a lightbulb came up. You had a plan. You looked up just in time to see chishiya walk into the room with his usual sloppy smirk.

"oooh~ what are we talking about?" he asked, plopping down beside you, leaning to look at the current game on the table. The trio only giggled before continuing on with the game. He didn't even bat an eye when he saw you staring at him in the corner of his eye. Just that small inkling of attention, made his ego grow larger. He was already in too deep, what's a few more feet, right?

"I wanna challenge you again." you said out of the blue, placing your cards on the table. Your words cause the rest of the group to gape in shock. You already challenged him today. You were already prepared to fight him again?

Chishiya arched his brow at you In amusement. He was prepared to hear what you had to say. His eyes followed your figure as You took all the uno cards and arranged them neatly into a deck.

"we play a 1 on 1 game of uno." you proposed as you shuffled the deck in your hand. "but I want to change the bets this time." your words caused the trio to murmur in confusion. What were you doing? Chishiya only chuckled at you, waiting for the rest of your proposal.

"if I win, I get to ask you a question and if you win, you can have my hand for life." chishiya's eyes widened in realization before he chuckled. He realized that you finally caught on to what he felt. The trio seemed to be left in the dark.

"so if I win, we get to be in a mutual relationship with one another?" chishiya cleared it up for everyone in the room. You nodded. Arisu and kuina's jaws dropped to the floor while usagi watched the scene unfold with a small smile.

"well, if you insist." chishiya shrugged, clasping his hands and resting his chin on them, waiting for the game to begin.

Alas, the game didn't go as chishiya planned.

Throughout the whole game, you seemed to have the upper hand. Chishiya's expression changed from confident to anxious in a few turns as his hand grew while yours shrank.

"this is the first time I've ever seen him with a frown during a game." usagi whispered to kuina who had to stifle her giggles so as to not interrupt chishiya's focus.

"could it be? Has our chishiya underestimated (y/n)?" kuina whispered back, unable to keep her giggles in for much longer. Chishiya snapped his head toward the pair and glared at them. Arisu has never seen him this worked up in his life.

You placed down your final card, a red +2 onto the pile, yelling 'uno!' with a triumphant grin on his face. The trio deflated in disappointed. This was the one game they wanted chishiya to win but unfortunately, that didn't happen.

Chishiya let out a dejected sigh. The one time where winning matters, he decided to not take it seriously and lose. "Okay, you won fair and square." he said, the usual melodic tone in his voice replaced with a slightly disappointed breathiness. "well, what was it you wanted to ask?" he asked, dropping his remaining cards into the messy pile.

"Well," you said, crossing your legs together, your ego boosted by the disappointed look the blonde wore in front of you. "I wanted to ask if you still want to have that mutual relationship." you said, mimicking the smirk he usually wore.

Chishiya's slight frown turned into a genuine smile. So he was getting what he wanted either way. Even a person like him couldn't hide his happiness. He tapped his finger on his chin, pretending to think. His little act caused the trio to stay on the edge of their seats in anticipation. "well…" chishiya pretended to ponder for a moment, watching as his grin grew wider by the moment. "your determination was really fun to play with… maybe a serious status wouldn't be that bad." he feigned a neutral shrug.

"so is that a yes? Are you like together together now?" Kuina asked excitedly, wanting confirmation. You and chishiya laughed before nodding your heads in unison.

It all started with a gamble, putting you in what you thought was a horrible position. But now you have your brother to take for losing the gamble that started It all. Because without him playing along, you would never have met chishiya and his gang. You never would've had fun with them.

Without Rin, you would have never fallen in love with your former master, chishiya.

And that Is all! I worked on this for 3 days. I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading this just as much! Requests are open if you want to leave anything! I love you guys ❤️💖💕

General taglist (don’t be shy to comment your tumblr @ below): @tokyoghoose @macaronnv @reogou @midnightangelfox @wumboho @seiijixcia

#alice in borderland x reader #aib x reader #kakegurui x reader #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya #shuntaro chishiya x reader #chishiya x reader #kaki writes

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honesthammie · 3 years

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Prompt 39: Death wants you to be terrified. But the scariest thing is wanting death.

13th Doctor x female curvy reader

Warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughts, alcohol and drug abuse, domestic abuse, fat phobia

I'm sorry for this. Its really depressing and I've been hesitant on letting you guys see it but I kinda like how it's written. I've made the abuser gender neutral as females can also be abusive. I promise the next one will be much happier!

"Come on (y/n), you can make it! Just jump across and reach for my hand. I promise you won't fall." The Doctors voice echoes across the widening canyon. If you looked down, you would only see pitch black. You didn't know how long you'd fall. Maybe this would be the perfect time to just go for it. Its not like you'd matter, you're only slowing the team down as is.

They wouldn't even be in this mess if you didn't slip and hit the world shattering drill, turning it on full blast. Unfortunately, you smashed the button making it unable to turn it off. Of course the only way you'd be able to turn it off is to actually go towards it. Everyone in the room screamed at you and some raised their tentacles to attack you if the Doctor didn't step in front of you. You know the Doctor noticed you flinching and your eyes gloss over and noticed you bracing for the impact.

You learned over the years to just accept your fate. You can't run from anyone when you weighed this much. You couldn't hide either, which often left you to just accept what was coming and hope nothing broke. Bruises were always easy to cover and so were any cuts but broken bones, that was always on display and you'd have to break your number one rule: never lie. You hated lying. The truth always comes out anyway so why hide it? If you hide it, you get punished worse anyway so why bother?

If you jumped and actually went with the team, you'd get questioned about earlier and about hesitating at jumping. But if you fell, would the Doctor miss you? As much as you hated to admit it, you were absolutely in love with the adorable alien. Why did you hate to admit it? Because she was a goddess and you were a waste of skin and bones. You weren't skinny and you didn't fit in with the team at all. You were only here out of pity.

You remember when you first met the team. You were the only person alive when they searched underneath the hotel. Even the spiders didn't want you. You were at the hotel because you heard about killer spiders and you wanted an out. You could never do it or something would come up stopping you from ending all your misery. You were the complete opposite of the Doctor. She was so brave and said whatever she wanted and didn't really care for the consequences.

You focused on the Doctors sparkling eyes. Despite the situation, she still sparkled with hope and encouragement. She wasn't upset with you. You really wished she was. This would be such an easier decision to make. Your head was pounding and your heart was going faster than her two hearts. Did you even want her upset? You couldn't tell, your head was spinning wildly, one thought going to another without a chance to process the last one.

You had come to a clear decision. You ran back and let momentum do its thing as your feet left the muddy gravel. You felt so free as you glided in the air for a few seconds. It was the most beautiful feeling. No punishment, no tears before going to sleep and no terror of going back home. Just you and gravity.

Then with a clearer mind you regretted your choice. You were horrified. You weren't ready. It wasn't time yet. Graham can't lose you. He'd only recently lost his wife. He'd feel the same as you and that thought terrified you. He'd survived cancer and gained himself a new family. He can't be like you. Ryan needed him, wether he was willing to admit that or not.

Suddenly you panicked and last minute reached your hand out hoping you'd grab something. Anything. You felt a soft warm object and latched on for dear life. You were then lifted up and onto soil. You focused on your breathing a moment and waited for your heart to calm down. You looked up and saw what, or rather who, saved you. You shouldn't have been so surprised to see the Doctors worried face above yours. She gave you a questioning look, knowing the question, you nodded your head and she straightened herself and helped you up.

"That was great (n/n)! So brave of you! Let's go gang, we've gotta turn this drill off before it splits the planet in half!" She shouted as she ran forward, seemingly knowing the way. She didn't let go of your hand until you reached the drill about 10 minutes later. You couldn't help the blushthat formed on your cheeks. The Doctor quickly opened a panel on the side of the drill.

The drill was massive, bigger than the Eiffel Tower and that what was on surface level, it went down much deeper that it had reached halfway to the liquid nitrogen that ran in this cold planet where our magma centre would be. The drill itself was purple and spherical. The panel box was the size of a human head which was about the size of the civilisations sucker pads. Inside were 3 buttons and 1 lever. You needed to type the pattern that would gain the access to the drill and force stop. If it goes wrong, it speeds up rendering this planet uninhabitable.

You watched as the Doctor quickly typed the pattern in. Red,blue,red,red,red,blue,black,black,blue. That was the pattern she quickly pressed in and held the lever down for 10 seconds. Soon the drill came to a halt and the planet was peaceful once again. You all let out a sigh of relief as it stopped.

You made your way back to the chief of the race and explained that they should dismantle and never use that drill again unless they plan to empty the panet of everything it has within. He quickly agreed and the fam made their way back to the TARDIS.

As soon as tye TARDIS was parked on the edge of your solar system, you got into your comfy clothes ready to nap or maybe play a few games to slow your adrenaline until you were tired enough for a full nights rest. You played a few rounds of uno and some poker where you used some bits of metal instead of chips. Eventually everyone had left except you and the Doctor.

You made your way to the doors of the ship and settled down just watching the stars in front of you. If the sentient machine hadn't already been aware of your darkest thought, you would have jumped out there and been amongst them. Just floating eventually turning to nothing but bones drifting, maybe to never be found. All the sights you've seen and yet this is where you were the most impressed. This was your home, your galaxy and because of all the light pollution, you had never been fully aware of how many neighbours you had because you had been literally blind. This was only stuff captured and faked and now, it's forever in your mind.

You heard movement and a shuffle next you. You knew who it was because she was the only other person awake and you knew she was going to ask and not let it drop until you tell her truth. And you were going to give her it but that doesn't mean you were ready to do so but you had to, someone had to know. Maybe you wanted help or maybe just someone to listen and know everything making you mentally naked in front of them.

The Doctor waited a few moments. She was figuring out how to word it without sounding horrible. "Is everything alright at home?" She asked her voice laced with genuine concern. "Sorry if this sounds a bit abrupt but let me explain. You've been really weird lately. You hardly speak and when you its with as few words as possible, you keep going elsewhere mentally and Rassilion forbid anyone getting angry with you! I also noticed how you hesitated today when jumping and I saw your worry and panic when you jumped. I think I know but I can't help you if you don't at least tell me what is going on! And don't change the subject or anything, just answer me please. I lo-. I can't lose you too." Her voice raised a little as she panicked just speaking about it. Halfway through she grabbed both of your hands and continued her speech.

You looked deep into her eyes for any sign of a lie but there wasn't one. Just like at the canyon, her eyes showed nothing but love. Maybe you should tell her, just her. No Yaz, no Graham and no Ryan. Just you, The Doctor and the TARDIS. You looked away for a moment as you collected your thoughts. However, as you opened your mouth and tried to speak, you found no voice. You couldn't tell her about them. Lord knows what she's capable of. But you've been looking for an out for so damn long. Maybe this is it. She's your out, no death involved.

You walked towards a panel in the console and pushed your hands inside and focused. You focused on the worst time it happened. You concentrated on the fear and everything attached. You couldn't tell her, but you could show her. The TARDIS disappeared into the vortex but didn't seem so sure on landing. She was picking it all up, she felt everything you did and she did not like going. "Please baby girl, I need her to know. I need help but I can't tell her. She's my only out that doesn't involve death and that terrifies me! Please. I understand your hesitation but she needs to see." You spoke mentally to the sentient blue box. She made a sad sound as she gently landed in the moment.

The Doctor looked at you bewildered. Her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. You walked up to her and grabbed her hand reassuringly. You led her to the doors that separated her from your darkest secret. You took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.

You appeared to be in the basement of your house. You walked up the stairs and took her to a storage room where she could see it happen. You sat in silence for a few minutes only the sounds of breathing and your heartbeat could be heard.

You knew this day off by heart, it plagued your nightmares often. It all started to sweet and went sour so quickly. At this time you were currently on your way back from doing your weekly shop to Tescos making sure you didn't forget their vodka and gin on your way to pay. Thankfully, the shop was only 10 minuets away and you doubted that the TARDIS would make you wait longer than nessacary. Just as the Doctor opened her mouth to speak the door opened and in walked an 18 year old you.

You set the bags down and started sorting the items into their new places. The canned foods go in the cupboard and the meat goes into the fridge. There were loads of food and stuff to go through and place properly. After you placed the last can of baked beans into the cupboard, the door swung open, nearly breaking the door.

They came home from their dealers place early. They stunk of weed and alcohol and had a little white powder around their nose. They looked like they had a good time until they had to come home. It was their dealers birthday so he was having a brothel themed party meaning there were strippers, pole dancers and prostitutes as well. The dealer was a rich guy who practically ran this city. The cops couldn't do anything as he could always bail himself out of jail.

They looked you in your comfy clothes and scoffed. They looked angry. "Why aren't you in your normal clothes babes? I thought I told you to throw away all of that shit. Come on now. Don't tell me I wasted all my well earned money on those clothes I specifically chose for you?"

You shuddered, both in the past and now except now they only made bile rise into your throat. You were so young and vulnerable. Now you know better.

The past you quickly scampered off to get changed. After only 5 minutes you reappeared in what was sexy school girl. The blue miniskirt covered less than most underwear so you were forced to wear a thong. The shirt was a bralet that barely covered your nipples. Your hair was in pigtails and you wore thigh highs. The sight made you silently sick in your mouth. You looked pathetic and weak.

You looked at them expectingly. You were waiting for your next order from them. They seemed to drool at the sight of you. "That's better babes. Why didn't you go shopping like that? Show the world your fat ugly figure? I want you to walk out there and see that no one else wants you but here I am, loving you. I am the only one who will ever like you in the way we have now. Your lucky I've had some fun tonight. All I want is my vodka and a new blunt darling"

You quickly went and grabbed their stuff and walked towards them as they settled in front of the TV. They turned the TV on and put Love Island on. How you hated that show. It made you feel bad for being the size you are. The women on there were beautiful but you also knew that, that kind of beauty costs money. So while your partner had fun watching the show for the romance, you watched it to spot what part of them was bought and what was real. Almost all the women had fake teeth and breasts. You hated how your partner would make snide comments on how they looked compared to you.

"You should be looking like Becky ya know. Beautiful teeth, big perky tits and a fucking great ass. What do you have? Flabs!" And there was the first comment of the day. The first of 30, you counted.

"Yeah well you are fucking broke so I can't look like fucking fake ass Becky or the others!" You thought. Then the Doctor gave you a look of shock and pity and then you realised you said that aloud. Not loud enough for them to hear you but enough for the Doctor.

"Make yourself fucking useful and make me some dinner. I fancy a steak and chips." They ordered as you got up and waddled over to the kitchen. A few minutes in you realised you put too much oil in the pan for the steak but the steak was already in and cooking quick. So quick that it started to smoke just a little bit. You tried blowing it away from them before they realised that you fucked up their dinner but ut was too late. They were already on their feet a marching towards you.

"I'm so sorry. I accidentally poured too much oil in. I'm so sorry. I have a spare steak, you can have my meal for tonight, I could do with skipping a meal anyways, helps me lose weight!" Past you was panicked and present you wasn't much better. Even though you were safe from them, they still made you uneasy. If you were to ever see them again, you'd freeze. They made your blood run cold. Even their voice sent unpleasant shivers down your spine.

"You better make me another steak but I still have to punish you. You fucked up, a lesson needs to be learnt." They said scarily politely. They grabbed your left arm and marched you towards the sink. They also grabbed the burning pan and pinned you so you had no escape as they poured the boiling oil onto your skin. You knew not to scream do you bit into your other arm knowing a bite out of it is better than causing more punishments for screaming.

When they were done left to watch the TV and you knew what that meant. You had to cook the spare steak and make there meal before you can get proper treatment at the hospital. Through your tears of agony, you quickly ran your burnt and bleeding arm under the cold water of the sink. You bit deeper into your other arm and tasting blood, but thay didn't stop you until the left one had cooled down. Then you got an old shirt, ripped 2 pieces of fabric off and wrapped them around both arm Injuries. You then continued their meal.

Once they had the meal they kicked you and punched you in the stomach because the chips were slightly cold and then they drove you to the hospital as they promised. When you had left you didn't realise you had been crying until a drop fell on your arm. You walked out of the storage room and sat on the sofa, turning the TV off.

The Doctor looked shocked for a moment before walking over and kneeling in front of you. The Doctor went silent for a moment. Before she could speak, you decided to speak first.

"I couldn't tell you because I couldn't think if a nice way of telling you. I didn't want to appear weak to you." You cried as your voice cracked in the middle due to the tears and the strain. The Doctor looked at you in pity and disappointment.

"This does not make you weak. Being abused does not make you weak. Because being abused is like being tortured by someone who supposed to love you and cherish you. They are meant to protect you from danger not be the danger. I would never hurt you. I know that I put you in risky situations but believe me, I would never intentionally put you in danger. You mean too much to me" The Doctor softly spoke with tears making a little river down her soft cheeks and onto your black carpet below.

"Before I met them, I was like you or Yaz. I was so happy at everything. Very little could bring me down. But I met them and started dating them and suddenly, my world of sunshine faded to grey. There was no light. I wanted to die Doctor. When you found me at that spider hotel, I wanted to be free from them as I couldn't do it. I can't because they'd kill me. I don't want to be alive whilst I'm with them. I have so many scars from either them or me trying to end my own life and that the scariest thing. Death wants us to be terrified but wanting to die is so much more terrifying Doctor, I know that." You cried as you emptied all you could to her. The Doctor was silent for a moment, taking in everything you said. Waves of emotion flashed through her, anger, sadness, pity and something you couldn't quite place.

"You said wanted. That's past tense. You said wanted to die. What changed? What made you want to live?"

"You did. You saved me from the spiders. You gave me a temporary out of the relationship for a while. You made me smile for the first time in 3 years! You made me laugh. The world of grey is now full of sunshine and rainbows Doctor. You also saved me today. When I jumped across that canyon, I jumped to end my life. I made a mistake that nearly ended a planet! If I wasn't so fat and clumsy maybe i-"

"Don't you dare say that! You are not fat (n/n). Yes you have more plush to your body but you are not fat. I hate that word. Its such a nasty word. You are gorgeous, amazing and so brilliant. You can't see what I see and I really wished you could for just one moment. You are worthy of being loved and cared for. You are precious, rare, one of a kind. I've never met anyone like you. There's always some skinny, fake bodied and caked up women but there's no one with as much natural beauty as you! Let's get back to the TARDIS and we'll talk more when looking at the stars because I can see that being here isn't doing you any favours" The Doctor spoke with such passion that you started to believe that her words held more than those of a supporting friend would.

Once the TARDIS was parked in the Milky Way you settled by the door once again and found yourself accompanied by the sweet alien. You both sat there for a moment just content with wrapping your heads around what's just happened. You looked over to the blonde and noticed how the stars made her glow in such an ethereal way that you felt almost compelled to worship her. Maybe you should after everything she's done for you. Her eyes sparkled with si many emotions from the past senario.

"Are you still with them?"

"Why do you think I never left this place? I mean even if could, I wouldn't want to but it's mainly because if I go back home, I'll come back with more injuries. I feel safer with you. You are my sunshine and rainbows and they are my storm clouds. Whilst I'm here, I'm alive and mostly unbroken. Whilst I'm there, I'm as alive as a puppet and severely broken. I can't leave, not on my own anyway."

The Doctor looked at you in thought. "The starlight compliments you. You look so pretty and almost angelic. I just wish they never hurt my angel. My innocent angel had broken wings and I'm going to fix what the Devil broke, I promise. Just hold on, I'm going to take us somewhere."

You held the nearest crystal as the TARDIS transported you somewhere but it seemed like the sentient machine was determined to take you there as quick as she could. As you opened the doors you noticed a familiar smell of weed mixed with alcohol. You heard the familiar tune of Love Island and knew exactly where you were. You were home. The Doctor saw your hesitation and whispered softly, "I want you to pack everything you want. I've written a note for them to find. I'm going to put it on the bed. If they notice you scream for me and I'll be there. They will not hurt you much, hopefully not at all. I just need to do something in the TARDIS before I help you." She turned and left into the TARDIS and disappeared down a corridor.

The atmosphere sent chills down your spine and you were frozen. The TARDIS seemed to notice and words of encouragement were sent into your head which helped you move towards your bedroom. You quickly buy quietly opend your suitcase and started to fill it with clothing and hygiene products. As you entered the bathroom a bottle of their shampoo fell into the tub giving you away. You knew you only had so long before they came in and hurt you so you closed the door and barricaded it with whatever you could.

As you pushed the last cabinet to the pile they roared through the wooden door. "Let me in you fat dumb bitch. You've been gone for 3 weeks and you've got some balls coming back! You're lucky I haven't burned all your shit! Where have you been?"

Your heart ran at an extremely fast pace nd you knew only one person could help you now. And so you screamed her name so loud it hurt your throat bit that didn't stop you. You screamed until you heard talking. You couldn't understand what was said but suddenly a thud was heard and then silence.

"Hey Starlight! It's only me. I've taken care of them. They're not dead but in a venishion aikido. They can't move, they're paralysed. You can come out and finish packing"

You moved everything out of the door and opened it to a view you expected. The Doctor with 2 fingers to their pulse point on their neck. The Doctor smiled at when they saw you. You finished packing and zipped the bag up. Then Yaz walked in with her police uniform on and arrested them for domestic violence and many other things. Now you understood why The Doctor left, it was to get Yaz as a back up option to completely take them out of your life.

The Doctor helped open doors for you as you got your room and you set the suitcase to one side to empty another day. You both sat down on your bed. The sound was filled with nothing but 2 lifeforms breathing and the TARDIS faint buzzing. You two stayed like this, staring into each other, trying to read the others emotions. But we all know what The Doctor is like, she can't stay silent for long.

"I had to save you because as long as you were with them, you weren't ever going to be truly happy. I didn't want my big bright star to turn into a black hole, I wanted her to be a supernova. My Starlight deserves to be happy."

"You keep saying my Doctor. And you asked if I was still with them and then when I basically said yes, you quickly, as in a rush, sent us home so I could leave them. You keep saying all these things about me. You held my hand from the canyon to the drill. You are always the first to check on me and you always make sure I'm OK first even if I'm the farthest person from you! Doctor, be honest, I don't want any more bullshit. Doctor why?" You spoke softly but with determination. The Doctor blushed and shifted her gaze to the stars and quietly gulped. She knew this day would come. The day her secret was revealed. And she dreaded her answer and she dreaded your reaction. And whilst she figured out what to say, you already knew the answer.

You gently grabbed her chin and made her look at you. Once her gaze caught yours, you smiled and placed your lips to her soft ones. Quickly she caught up and kissed you back with all the love and passion she could muster. She wanted to relay that she did love you and that she would do exactly as she said earlier, she would cherish you.

As for you, you smiled. You finally had an out that didn't end in death but instead ended with the same love that you yearned for, for years.

#13th doctor #thirteenth doctor x reader #13th doctor x reader #depressing post #im sorry

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genesisinferno · 3 years

Text

This was meant to be a future chapter for "Follow His Footsteps" but the scene wouldn't leave my brain so now you guys can have it and I can finally get it out of my head. I'll probably have to something a little differently for this planned scene, rip.

////

"Just this once," Cross said. He wouldn't do this again. He wouldn't let his guard down again - he couldn't. If only for himself, he couldn't afford to let his guard down more than once. He had to stay on track, he had to stay focused, he had to be cold and distant at all times...

But just this once. Just this one time, he could afford to let his guard down, right?

"Just this once," Killer agreed with a nod, something almost sly in his empty gaze. They both knew he didn't truly believe that and was just going along with it - he had every intention to get Cross to drop his guard again, regardless if Cross wanted to or not. Cross should care, he should withdraw or be annoyed. He should keep his guard up. But he was tired. So, so very tired. So, this time, only this time, he would let it go. But he would never do it again, no matter how much it hurt or how much it killed him inside. Just this once.

Cross stares at Killer for a moment, cautiously. A part of him still didn't want to let go - he had built this mask up for so long and he'd forgotten what he was like underneath. It almost scared him, not knowing who he was anymore. He'd been a different person in X-Tales and had worn a mask ever since he'd destroyed his home. To let go now, even if only for a short while, was terrifying. It was a vulnerability he hadn't allowed himself in so long. He could still put his mask back on after this, right? He could still pretend, right? Killer wouldn't... try to draw him out again, right? (He knows he would.)

Something in Cross snaps, strained and tired from the pressure of holding himself together for so long now, and that's all it takes. He ducks his skull, wrapping his arms around Killer in a loose hug. Cross drops his skull onto Killer's chest, his arms tightening until he's almost crushing Killer in his grasp. Killer, for once in his life, is silent as he wraps his own arms around Cross, returning the hug. Unlike Cross, Killer doesn't hesitate in holding him tightly, as if he's afraid that if he doesn't, Cross will run from him again. Something about the action, something about the unspoken intentions and feelings that lay underneath causes Cross to shake. He has to physically restrain himself from crying. He knows what he is and he knows what he does. Not just to Killer, but to the Dust and Horror too. Even to Nightmare and Error. He knows how he worries them, how he brushes off their concern so easily that it makes them frustrated to the point they feel angry and helpless. How they look out for him all the time and just want him to let them in - something Cross can't afford to do. Something Cross is too scared to allow, in his current situation. Because letting them in means getting more attached, means putting them in even more pain when he leaves. It means it'll hurt them further.

Just like Killer is hurt now, because of him. Cross hates the feeling of helplessness he feels, the frustration at not being able to help further, the guilt and the pain, and the worry and fear of losing Killer. He hates how he knows that they feel like this about him on a daily basis. But like he's done for so long, he doesn't allow himself to lament on his own mistakes or shortcomings - instead lashing out at the one before him.

"Dammit, Killer! You almost died, you idiot!" Cross snaps, glaring at the injured skeleton with unshed tears in his sockets. For a second, Killer seems almost surprised but then his signature grin stretches over his skull.

"Yeh, but I didn't," Killer states it like it's some obvious fact he's proud of, when he should be more concerned with the fact that he nearly died and still isn't completely in the clear yet. Until they find a way back to the castle, Killer's still very much at risk. Especially since Cross' makeshift first aid wouldn't do much more than support Killer's injuries until they could get proper help.

"That doesn't make it any better," Cross whines, almost childishly. Oddly enough, Killer's casualness helps to keep the tears at bay. If he can still do that much, then it's possible it's not affecting him as much as Cross had originally feared. It's something he has to chance to bounce back from like usual.

"Sure it does," Killer chirps and looks at him teasingly. "Ya worried anyway?" The question takes Cross aback, because of course he is. It had been his fault Killer was injured to begin with. He got hurt protecting Cross while he was stupidly distracted by something or the other. Despite how much Cross tried to deny it, tried to refuse the feelings, he cared about Killer - about all of the bad Sanses, even though he couldn't afford to. He's discovered he's absolutely terrible at remaining detached when put in front of skeletons hellbent on caring for him - even though he didn't need the care or the worry.

"I... of course I am. You... you're hurt and it's my fault. You could have died and it would have been my fault," Cross mumbled sadly, the tears finally spilling out of his sockets. They dropped down onto Killer's shirt, soaked up by the fabric.

"Hey. Hey. Don't say shit like that, makes you seem like you really care underneath all that bravado," Killer chuckled. Cross gripped him tighter for a second, remembering himself. Killer was right. Even if Cross decided to let his guard down for a bit, he still shouldn't say stuff like that. He couldn't take it back. Killer seemed to notice the change, quickly speaking up again.

"In all seriousness... don't worry 'bout it. I ain't going anywhere. Think you can get rid of me that easily?" Killer seemed amused by the thought that anyone could even consider the thought of it. As if he were immortal. He wasn't. He was strong but even he could die. Not to say that it was easy to kill him - Killer was like a parasite with a grudge, hellbent on taking everyone down with him.

"No..." Cross sighed and Killer's smug grin sharpened. Cross just sighed, burying his skull in Killer's chest and simply soaking in the fact that Killer was alive and allowing himself to be relieved at the fact instead of pushing it away. He'd gotten him out in time. He'd been there. They've avoided the worst case scenario. Killer was alive and they still had a chance out of this.

"...do you want me gone?" Killer's voice is quiet, far quieter he's ever heard it, and Cross can just barely pick up on the insecurity hidden within it. His skull snaps up, more from the tone than the actual question itself. Killer is supposed to be annoyingly confident, not sad or insecure.

"No!" Cross denies immediately, surprised and more than willing to fight Killer on this if he has to. There's the slightest shift to Killer's expression and a tenseness to his body that Cross isn't familiar with. To his surprise, at his words, Killer's expression returns to normal and he relaxes slightly, pulling Cross closer to him minutely.

"Then it's all good, yeh? Besides, I'm getting a voluntary hug from the solitary soldier himself, so it wasn't all for nothing. Heh," Killer chuckles, and Cross glares at him for it. He has half a mind to ignore Killer entirely. His inability to shut up ruins everything.

But then the smile drops off Killer's face again and Cross finds himself unable to keep the glare up, instead watching Killer in concern.

"Just this once... tell me something, Criss-Cross," Killer's voice is quiet and soft that it doesn't even sound like his voice anymore. Cross isn't used to this vulnerability and it's beginning to send him into a panic. He doesn't know how to deal with stuff like this anymore. He hasn't dealt with stuff like this - even for himself, that he doesn't know what to do. "Do ya care at all? Would you... be better off without me?"

Everything about that question was wrong, especially coming from Killer. From secure, overconfident, stupid Killer. And it hurt. Crap, it hurts and this is exactly what Cross was trying to avoid. He didn't want to hurt and he certainly didn't want any of the Bad Sans to hurt because of him. Apparently, he'd failed both points, because Cross cared so damn much that it hurts. He didn't want to lose Killer. He couldn't stand the thought of it, let alone bear the pain that would come from it. He'd lose whatever sanity he had left if he lost one of them, he just didn't want to admit it. That is, he didn't want to admit until Killer asked. Because now Cross was willing to, if it meant that Killer would just stay.

"I don't wanna lose you. So don't go, Killer," The tears spilled out of his sockets, as he whispered, "You've gotta... You've gotta stay with me, okay? D-don't leave me." Killer held him tighter, as if afraid to let him go and Cross clutched onto him for dear life, afraid to ever leave this moment.

///

I don't own any characters. This is meant purely platonically but I guess you can see it as Kross if you want to. But yeah, this is meant to be brotherly, with Cross being super afraid to open up and finally taking one of the first steps to. I wrote this instead of writing the next chapter but since this isn't a major delay, I think I can get away with it.

#killertale sans #cross sans #X tales #bad sanses #if you squint you can view it as cross #future chapter rip me #platonic #brotherly love here #hi if you're reading tags #are tumbler tags like ao3 tags?#because I have every intention to have fun with it if so #cross #killer #bonding #if you squint you can view it as Kross #xtale sans

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siimjaeyun · 3 years

Text

Chapter 2: Caution, Gators can eat humans.

Synopsis: The wishes for a new mystery after the sudden decrease in Seoul sends the teen mystery group to a town nearby. It’s own name justifies itself, and let’s just say: things don’t get pretty when JK (the anonymous caller) sends them on a chase.

Series Masterlist

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Absent-mindedly, the man continued to drive his SUV through the bumpy roads of Gatorsville, a small town just miles away from Seoul.

"We need to pull up for gas." The father made his way to the abandoned gas station, allowing his daughter to walk for a bit with the puppy.

The small puppy ran off into the bushes; the girl followed suit and called its name.

When she managed to reach her hand in, it met a pair of red fiery eyes back at her. Shocked, she jumped backwards and cried for help.

"Dad! It's a monster!" In disbelief, the man refused to believe her, but met the same sketched black-green lizard pattern with glowing eyes.

He didn't manage to say much, but got himself into the car and drove off in a hurry leaving whatever the creature was back in the dark.

------

"I'm bored.." Sunoo plopped backwards and landed on top of poor Sunghoon who was resting comfortably on the floor.

"What's up with Seoul, there hasn't been a mystery!" Jungwon soon joined Sunoo, crushing Sunghoon as well, making him cry out.

"Yo Jake, help me!" Jake helped the boy, picking him up and throwing him on the couch with you.

"Heeseung what's this?" You picked the magazine that was crumpled between the two couch cushions; part of you wished you had left it once seeing the front cover.

"It's a trap illustrated! Where do you think I got the inspo for this beauty." He flaunted the cords hung onto the metal crates.

"And who exactly do you expect to catch?"

Right on time, the delivery man got himself hung onto the trap set on the front, simply handing him the package once Heeseung managed to open the door and let him free.

"It's a package."

A loud thunder banged against the windows, letting the rain and its friends make itself present in the home. With caution, he opened it revealing an object covered by tissue and an envelope stamped in red with [JK]

"I swear JK gives me the creeps." The group opened the rest of its contents and found a gator skinned bag in the box.

"Maybe a trip to Gatorsville wouldn't hurt. Safe travels."

"This doesn't make sense. I thought Gatorsville didn't make skin products anymore." Jake observed the purse, handling each nook and cranny with care.

"Gatorsville? Like as in actual Gators?" Sunoo tried setting himself apart, clearly intimidated by the idea of gators.

"150 years ago, miners had moved to Gatorsville in search of oil and gold. Instead, they found the abundance of gators in the area, and mounted businesses on the farms which made them rich. They sold products everywhere, but when there were no more gators, everyone moved out. It's practically a ghost town."

"Then I'm assuming we have a new mystery?" Heeseung smiled and led the way out the door, at least before all six of you found yourselves captured in the same trap as the delivery man.

------

"Let's look around." They split into their usual teams, and trailed off.

"So, Jake, how do you like it so far?" You realized you hadn't learned much about the boy besides his past in Australia and his cute dog that visited occasionally.

"To be honest, it was really boring before Sunghoon invited me to come along. I'm glad I've got people who make life interesting." His small eye smile reassured you and you kept exploring the area.

From afar, Jungwon, Heeseung, and Sunoo found no hope of a mystery and made their way back to the remaining three of you.

"I guess JK sent us on a wild goose chase. Let's head back before it's too late." You gladly hopped back into the van and when Heeseung turned his key, the car wouldn't start. He trudged back and opened the car to see his engine had gone missing.

"Uhh...guys!" Sunghoon walked out, first witnessing the same event.

"H-how is it possible?" The six teens huddled around the missing spot, and turned around with a blinding light flashed forward.

"What do you exactly think you're doing!?" A man in his late 50's stepped out of the tow truck, and his eyebags and cuts on his upper eyebrow clearly signaled he wasn't here to talk much.

"Our engine is missing, think you can help?"

"And why should I?" He punched his knuckles and caused Jungwon to step backwards with Sunoo.

"Cause you're a mechanic?"

"Right. Well you're going to have to wait until tomorrow morning anyway-I have to wait for Seoul to come deliver a new one."

As the teens tried to call their parents, they received no response. They were either busy or didn’t care, clearly comforting the goofy timeline of teen chaos and drama.

"Just call Jay, maybe he can come." Hesitant, you dialed his number and received no response.

"He probably fell asleep. We're gonna have to stay the night." A neon sign was perfectly hung on the side of a building.

[GATOR INN]

"Hello, anyone there?" You clung onto Jake who just like you, preferred to lurk in the background while Heeseung and Jungwon took the lead.

"What do you want!?" A woman appeared from the dark shadows of the motel stairs, letting her fingers trail against the handrail.

“A room?”

“We’re all booked.” The woman sat on the closest tool: filing her nails without bothering to look at the teens in their eyes.

“But your sign says vacancy.” Sunghoon pointed to the sign from before, the clear letters stating VACANCY.

“Alright, follow me. I have a few rules, the girly over there gets her own room. The five of you that remain can split into two rooms.”

“Wait, no. Jungwon-he’s my brother; we can share a room.” You gave a slight signal to Jungwon to play along with the game, and the woman simply handed you the keys and walked back.

Her bright red hair decorated in pink bows peaked from behind her, but disappeared almost immediately once she turned her head forwards to face you.

“One more thing, if you hear biting, screams, loud shrieks: ignore and enjoy your day.” Her loud hairstyle finally left the hall, and you entered the old furnished room with Jungwon.

“It’s clear this hasn’t been cleaned in months.” You dropped your bag on the bed, and accompanied the bag to find a comfortable spot to rest.

------

“I wonder why y/n would lie to the woman about Jungwon being her brother.” Jake sat on the nearby chair, pushing the cushion downward.

“He’s scared to sleep alone; and he’s basically her child.”

“I’m not sleepy.”

“Neither am I. Why don’t we head out and explore if there’s anything worthwhile in the Motel.” They grabbed their jackets and exited the room, finding Jungwon and y/n heading out as well.

The four bodies met at the center of the hall, confused, but not surprised by their need to exit the walls of the motel guest room.

“Clearly, smart minds think alike.” You scoffed at his statement and led the way out the lobby. There wasn’t much to see clearly. The van was parked on the curb, the sky was dark and covered in a blanket of fog; everything appeared in order.

The comfortable silence was quickly disturbed by subtle movements in the bushes.

“I-i think something is there.” Jake reached out to move the branches and get a clear image, but a creature jumped out causing them to fall on their backs.

“G-gator people!” Sunghoon picked up Jungwon, while Jake helped you up and led you away from the monster that was currently chasing you. You quickly made your way up the flights of stairs: pushing through the other flights that followed to your bedrooms.

The creature continued; its sharp claws gauging at the walls and leaving a claw nail stuck in the paintings that were nicely hung. Without hesitation, the four of you barged into Heeseung and Sunoo’s room.

“What are you guys doing here?” Sunoo barely bothered to look up from his screen when he witnessed the same creature enter the room, crushing the door that was once attached.

“Gator people?” In fear, all of you clung onto the windows from the edge. Your foots collected on top of a single mattress, throwing the closest objects towards the creature.

The room quickly went black. A red glow emerged from the corners from the room allowing the two gators to creep under the floorboards and take a hold of your right leg pulling it downward.

Your body slipped from the thin lifting of the window balcony, and soon enough it was being dragged from under the five boys, leaving you to scream.

Jake and Heeseung plunged forwards, each taking a hold of one of your arms to prevent the gators from dragging your body any further. Sunghoon took the liberty of stomping on the arms of the gators, making them retreat backwards. They slipped on their own tails and fell downward through the same hole they had crept through. You made your way up and looked at the gator skin dangling from your ankle. A white stuffing peeked through the thin fabric; the monster clearly wasn’t real.

“It isn’t real?” Before Sunoo could continue with his pondering thoughts, the two gators once more crawled from below and sank their claws into the boards. The six teens ran out the door and out of the motel.

‘COME BACK TO VISIT’ The tacky green sign hung on the side, and was the last part of their vision before securely making their way out of the Gatorsville. They turned their heads back to the issue, and saw as the gators came to an abrupt stop once they had exited the town. Slippery, and cautious, the duo hid once more and retreated back.

“That was close.”

“We have to go back, come on!” Jungwon, almost-excited like, pushed his older companions to the inners of town once more. They slyly hid in the trees until they found the two gators pushing large crates into a ship; one crate after another went inside.

“Here.” Heeseung managed to bust the crate open, revealing packs of gator skinned products. Each marked with the same tag from earlier, ‘100% gator.’

Sunoo rolled up one of his sleeves and picked a belt from within the crate, and without thought, he wrapped the skin around his own. After some moments, he released the belt from his grasp and let it fall to the ground with a small clank following afterward.

“It’s fake, just look at my skin!” Sunghoon and Jungwon inspected him and found a pink rashing forming on his pale flesh. Sunoo was known for his skin sensitivity, and everyone knew that any fake animal product would send the boy into itches and scratches.

“The only thing we have here folks is a bunch of con-artists.” Heeseung sighs and makes his way to set up another one of his elaborate traps.

------

“Jake, now!” Jake quickly shot the arrow to the target, and it lunged to release the two boxes hanging by cords on the top side of the building.

The gators made their efforts to leave, but quickly were captured by the teen’s proud ploy.

“Got them!” Jake once more looked at the boxes with curiorsity, helping Sunghoon push it back towards the Motel entrance.

“Chief Kim.” The police man trudged through Gator Inn and found the huddled teens around two gator people caught in ropes.

“What is the meaning of this?”

“This Chief Kim is…” Heeseung pulled back the mask which revealed the owner of the motel inn and the scornful mechanic.

“What!?”

“That’s right. This is our home and when everyone left, we couldn’t just go. This is our home. So we started making cheap products to earn some money. We used the costumes to scare off yee visitors and get them away from our business. And we would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for you meddling tourists!”

Chief Kim quickly gave a nod which sent the gators to get sent to the back of his police car. They didn’t bother asking more questions and were about to drive off when Sunghoon rushed behind them.

“Wait! We need a ride!”

Almost on cue, the engine of their van made a growl, and the front lights illuminated their bodies. “Is it haunted?” Jungwon approached it carefully, and lifted the hood of the car; the engine was back in its place and now accompanied with a note hanging from the top.

“I hope you enjoyed your visit, but remember there is more to come. This is only the beginning of the puzzle. JK” The signature red stamp with bold letters JK glistened under the moonlight.

“More? I swear, this just keeps getting more creepy.” The six were left with nothing but to make their way back home, and who knows what they would expect next.

------

Note: Jay and Niki will be progressively included in the story line. I’m sorry for the long wait :(

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #jungwon #jay #heeseung #jake #sunghoon #sunoo #niki #heeseung imagines #jake imagines

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rogue-barnes-16 · 5 years

Text

RUSSIAN ROULETTE (Destroyer fic)

Request: just watched Destroyr too nd I'm thirsty for a fic nd saw you're taking requests from it. Can you do a fic where chris goes undercover with the reader instead with erin and when the Russian Roulette shit happens the reader does something to stop it nd chris confronts her later or smthng || idk it's a messy request sorry. || Pls make it anon??? || lol srry XOXO

Pairing: Chris x reader (Destroyer)

Genre: angsty (?) idk how to describe it

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125

Warnings: not actual spoilers (that's a warning), tension, makeout, language

A/N: first of, I feel like I should make this clear again THIS DOES NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS BUT IT IS BASED ON A PART OF A SCENE OF THE MOVIE. Also, DAMN I enjoyed writing this. Also, it soothed the pain caused by the movie (thanks Nicole Kidman, you lovely human being, for destroying my heart). Anyway, enjoy <3.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I lay down on the sofa, giving Chris a brief glance to check on him. A while ago, I could have just asked him since all the party noise would have covered our voices, but it all had gotten really quiet.

People had slowly left, and in the house there were just a few people left. Silas, sitting on the armchair; Petra and that other girl, checking their messed up makeup in the mirror; Toby, playing some random video game; Chris, sat right behind Toby, and Arturo, who was coming my way in the moment.

"look what I found" he shook the pack of beers on his right hand, a mischievous grin on his face.

"reinforcements" I extended my hand for him to give me one. "nice, I needed it" I opened the one he gave me and took a sip.

When Arturo made a hesitant attempt to sit besides me, I moved my leg for him to have more room. "looking gorgeous today, Y/n" he said, half cuddling me.

Arturo was kind of pinning over me, I knew it. I sometimes, if I was in a playful mood, would lead him on. He knew I 'was with Chris' —even though we weren't actually together—, so there was nothing else apart from teasing and light flirting.

Chris, however, to pretend, most of the times would play the jealous boyfriend card, but right now he was distracted.

There was someone who was noticing it, though. Silas had his eyes on us, and, if I only had noticed it before, I would have stopped.

But I hadn't.

I jumped at the loud thud that sounded right besides me. When I turned to it, I saw a small gun on the floor.

"Arturo" Silas called the boy besides him. He tilted his head to the gun with a sick smile on his face. "let's see if your time has come?"

The room, now silent, was filled with anxiety and tension.

I tried playing it cool, but the fear in my eyes gave me away. I knew I was being too obvious when Chris decided to intervene.

"fuck it, Arturo" he said carelessly, not looking at anyone, but at the joint he had just rolled. "don't do it" he added, lighting up the joint before giving it a puff.

"it's none of your business Chris" Chris replied at Silas' statement with a gesture of indifference while he let out the smoke. "C'mon Arturo, grow a pair. Don't wanna play?"

I knew things were about to get worse than expected when Arturo got up and grabbed the gun from the floor.

"there he goes" Silas commented, letting out a dark chuckle. "c'mon, come here and look at me in the eye."

I stole a glance at Chris, who was subtly staring at me with almost unnoticeable nervousness in his eyes.

"Wait" all of them turned to me. "he doesn't wanna do it." before Silas could protest, I gave him a knowing smirk "doesn't have what it takes"

"sweetheart, it's done" Silas made himself more comfortable before looking at Arturo again. "someone gotta play now, so go ahead"

I wasn't going to allow that to happen.

"I wanna play." I stated, standing up. "and I definitely got what it takes" I made my way to then, noticing how Chris' breath hitched, making him swallow the smoke and causing him to cough. "c'mon give me the gun"

Arturo gave me the gun, not before looking at Silas for approval. "Okay sweetheart" the man sitting before me let out a chuckle. "same rules. Gun against your head and eyes on me"

"Silas, c'mon" Petra, who had stayed silent until then, spoke with a trembling voice. "don't- babe, let's drop it."

"Nope, babydoll" the man replied. "c'mon Y/n, make the roulette spin, will you?" it took me a second, but I managed to made the cylinder spin without looking at it. "atta girl."

"baby, quit it" I heard Chris voice, but I didn't really listen to it. "leave it, c'mon" I took a deep, shaky breath, and, when I felt my eyes watering, I pulled the trigger. "Y/n!"

Nothing happened.

I exhaled, tossing the gun to the floor and shutting my eyes. "Y/n, sweetheart, you're nuts." Silas started to laugh, giving me a surprised look. "it was loaded. You can't let people tell you what to do like that" everyone started to chuckle lightly too.

"it has three bullets inside" I turned to Chris, who was holding the gun with the cylinder open. "holy fuck" he managed to feign a laugh and I exited the room, feeling my whole body shaking.

"Chris, go get your crazy girl" Silas said, not able to stop laughing. "go and fuck, she'll calm down!"

I heard heavy steps behind me before a large hand grabbed my forearm, dragging me into a dark room. "what were you thinking" Chris hissed, shutting the door. "what the fucking hell, Y/n?"

"he-" I chewed my lip harsh enough to draw blood, while my back rested against the wall. "there was three bullets, you said it yourself. I knew there was a trick."

"so what?!" he hit the wall besides me, taking a shaky breath "it was damn obvious there was a fucking trick. That's not a reason for you to play the Russian fucking Roulette"

"what if he had killed himself?" I asked, hugging myself in a vain attempt to refrain my goosebumps.

"better him than you"

"Silas gave him the gun because of me. 'cause he was flirting with me" I explained "I didn't want his death in my conscience" I replied, gripping my forearms.

"yeah? Well I didn't want a bullet in your fucking skull and I almost got it" he bit back, choking on the last few words. "do something like that again and you're out"

"you can't fucking do that" I stated. "we're undercover, you can't make me leave."

"fuckin' bet, baby" he growled, trying to pass by me and open the door. He couldn't, though since I put myself between him and the door. "move your ass out of my way, Y/n"

"you really wanted one of the criminals we're chasing to get killed?"

"I swear to fucking God Y/n-"

"Tell me" I shoved him back for him to get away from the door "that you wouldn't have done something like that if you thought it was the right thing to do" when he, instead of replying, growled under his breath with his eyes on the ceiling, I repeated, "fuckin' tell me you wouldn't-"

We heard the door's lock clicking open and I panicked, afraid someone might have heard us.

"fuck"

I took a glance at the door, which was being opened.

"shit" When I turned to Chris again, I barely had time to process that he, with his hands gripping my hips, was backing me against the wall before hurriedly crashing his lips against mines.

"Hey guys- Okay" Toby stood there, holding onto the door frame, for a long minute, watching us making out. "they're fine!" he yelled, turning back to the room where everyone was. "I think they're gonna fuck!- sorry for the interruption, I'll give you some... Privacy"

With that, the door closed again and we were left alone in the dark. It was only when we were sure we were safe, that Chris let go of me.

We stood close to each other, breathing heavily. From my current angle, the moonlight made the tears in his face gleam.

Those tears that I didn't even know were there. Those tears that kept running down his cheeks nonstop.

"what are you fucking looking..."

He went silent when my arms wrapped around him, gripping the back of his jacket with both of my hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" I whispered. "but I don't regret it. It was the right thing to do. Arturo didn't deserve that shit, you know it"

"you didn't either" he circled my hips, pulling me flush against him, like I was going to banish. "Goddammit, Y/n. You didn't either" he muffled a brief sob by burying his face deep into the crook of my neck. "God fucking damnit."

"nothing happened, Chris" I mumbled in a shaky breath, bringing him impossibly closer to me. "I'm fine"

"you scared the shit out of me" he muttered under his breath, letting himself rest against me. "I was so fucking terrified-"

"we're alright" I whispered, pulling away to wipe his tears.

After a beat of silence, he leaned on me an planted a tender, careful kiss on my lips. And it was easy to tell that this one wasn't feigned. This one had Chris' actual feelings on it.

"what was that?" I muttered, slightly confused.

"two weeks deep into this and you already put your life on the line three times" he explained with his jaw clenched. "I'll better come clean 'bout my feelings before you do something stupid and get yourself killed." I nodded, not really knowing what to say. "you... Don't have to- we can just keep pretending, it's fine with me" he cleared his throat, fidgeting with the hem of my jacket. "but, just in case, I needed you to know"

I nodded again without letting any word escape my lips. He waited for an answer that didn't come, and after a few seconds, he cleared his throat again and walked to the bed.

I frowned at him sitting on it. "we should wait a bit." he explained "they think we're fucking so-"

"it's gonna make it more complicated" I blurted out, half wining because, damn, I wanted to be with him. To actually be with him.

"why?" he questioned, resting his elbows over his thighs. "because we'll get too attached? Because we'll get hurt if something happens to the other?"

Those questions made me angry because they were, in fact, the reasons I was going to give him. Now that he had said them out loud, I realized they were stupid reasons.

We were already too attached to each other. We would get hurt anyway if something happened to one another.

"Y/n, I need you to say something"

I walked to him, sat on his lap, and caressed both of his cheeks with my hands. "Okay. Let's do this" I replied, pulling him into a kiss that was, by no means, meant to be rough, but ended up being it.

"Listen" he pulled away for an instant to take off his jacket and mine. "don't you fucking dare to play the Russian Roulette ever again."

"Okay" I pulled the tee off my body and tossed it to the floor. "I won't"

"promise you won't do anything stupid" he demanded, leaning to kiss my jaw, just to pull away to throw his shirt besides mine.

"I promise"

"Good" he cupped my cheeks, bringing me closer to kiss my lips. "cause I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay undercover if something happens to your reckless ass"

#chris x reader #chris destroyer #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan drabble #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan masterlist #sebastian stan #sebastian stan destroyer #silas destroyer #petra destroyer #destroyer movie #destroyer #chris beck imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #b99 #b99gif

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bellypuffer-blog · 5 years

Text

Saturday 23rd August 2019

Nothing too much happened today. I stayed up all night last night because my sleeping schedule is messed up. Thanks to my boss.

She keeps giving me funny rosters at work. Some days I'm on overnight, and others I'm on early morning. So you can see why I can't find a proper time to fall asleep, and a proper time to wake up.

I live with my boyfriend and his family. Moved a year and one month ago, from one country to another. I've known him for 5 years and started dating him 2 years ago, February 1st. Of course I didn't move in with him straight away, we were in a long distance relationship for the first year. He would always visit me every 2-3 months and stay for a course of 2-3 weeks. Those days were hard, yet also simple, and even though we weren't perfect (and still aren't) we made it work and still to this day continue to make it work. Lord knows how much I love him, but sometimes my own problems overwhelm me and I push him away, which I'm taking note of and I'm trying to correct myself.

He's a kind young man, my family adore him.

His 80-something y/o Grandma came to stay with us for a few days. She went back home this morning after I had finished my early morning shift, but before doing so she had asked if her Grandson and I would mind going with her to the Market 20 minutes away to help her with her shopping, as she's very weak. Ofc I obliged because I wasn't about to let her go off alone like that. She's also a terrible driver, bless her heart. My boyfriend and I helped her carry her cute little bags, sat and had lunch with her and then said our goodbyes with hugs and kisses.

Ended up catching the bus home because I didn't want her driving us all the way back making a detour, making it more dangerous for her because it was close to peak time. Hope she got home safely, still yet to hear from her. She really is a wonderful elderly woman, I love yarning with her over a cup of piping hot tea. We go over every subject there is from Bible-talk, to her back-in-the-day stories. She talked about her father who was a hard honest worker who loved his family. We talked more about Christianity..

Although I'm not religious I still like the concept and I love talking about those sorts of things with others, even cultures. Beliefs...Customs and traditions. I find it all educational and really intriguing. Each and every follower of any religion and every cultural person deserves respect, as long as they are willing to acknowledge and accept others' beliefs also. It may not be in their books, but as long as they're willing to accept one another and agree to never call a person wrong for believing in what they believe is true, then in my eyes that's what makes someone a good person.

Have your own beliefs but don't shit on anyone else's, basically.

It's currently 4:49am Saturday 24th of August 2019, and I have The Sims4 open on my PS4 Console. I thought I felt like playing this (as there's no way I'm getting any sleep soon) editing households and creating more life in the neighbourhoods but I realized that shit takes a couple of hours if not days/weeks. I just bought the Get Famous expansion pack after only owning Cats & Dogs for awhile. I get waaaay too attached to my Sims that I really find it sad aging them up. Not to metion how much fucking editing I have to go through to get their offspring to dress/look the way I want them to. With every age-up there's always an edit that needs to be done. I've also noticed that for most of the clothes that the game-developers have created, are hideous asf and whoever created the style was obviously born in the 70s.

Just talking about the game makes me wanna play it, so I guess I'm going to end it here and continue on with my life. Till another Diary Entry I guess?

-J.K

-P.s ^ My initials lmao I don't mean "Just Kidding."

Stay tuned.

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kikoqueenofrats · 3 years

Text

Lil Guy belongs to @toastraccoon Next Chapter is out This isn't anything relevant to the current rp I'm doing with Toonie...however the next chapter is so look forward to that I guess

The duo laid on their shared bed as they waited for Lil Guy to come over and check on Cels Injury.

They were both still somewhat processing the events of yesterday.

Mari the fact that they had suddenly grown incredibly attached to the small blue stick laying next to them.

Whilst Cel thought over what Mari had told him during their moment of emotional vulnerability.

The sound of Mari yawning suddenly echoed through the room and Cel turned to look at them, concern beginning to build up inside his chest.

"Mari?" Cel turned to face them, noticing how exhausted they looked, which only caused their worry to skyrocket.

"Yeah?" Mari asked, turning to look at Cel, Cel cringed as his eyes fell upon the almost completely exhausted look Mari was currently giving him.

"You wanna go to sleep?" Mari looked away at that, a slightly irritated but mostly scared look in their eyes. Cel noticed this and managed to predict Maris answer before it even left their mouth.

"No" Mari replied bluntly before turning to their side, essentially telling Cel that they were done with this conversation.

Cel was persistent however as he had been worried about Maris sleeping habits for a while now.

Cel used to believe that Mari didn't need sleep, that they were just immune to it.

But after multiple instances during that awful week where Cel had caught Mari fighting to stay awake.

He wasn't so sure that was true now.

"Why?" Cel asked, pulling himself closer to Mari, a determined look on his face.

".....it's complicated" Mari muttered, still not turning back around.

"Complicated how?" Cel huffed, beginning to get annoyed at how stubborn Mari was being.

"Haven't I already told you how..." Mari huffed back, turning their head to give Cel their most frustrated expression.

Cel stared back in confusion for a few moments, before what Mari had been implying finally clicked in his mind.

".....Yes...." He muttered looking down at his hands.

"Shouldn't that be the end of this discussion?" Mari went to roll back over.

"Mari" Cel huffed suddenly feeling incredibly annoyed.

"Cel-" Mari snapped, turning their whole body around like they were a child throwing a tantrum.

"There isn't anyone here-" Cel retorted.

"There could be '' Mari stated firmly, fully convinced that their argument was completely logical and that Cel was being ridiculous.

"Mari, why would you think this place would allow an...insanely violent stick in here?" Cel asked, knowing that this stubbornness was coming from somewhere.

He had an idea of where, but he wanted to make sure before he tried to tackle it head on.

"An accident? You never know..." Cel rolled his eyes at that. Mari was just pulling out excuses from the top of their head at this point...they must be terrified of getting attacked whilst they slept again...just like back in their game.

"Okay, so on the off chance a dangerous stick bursts into our room, wouldn't you want to be alert for it" Cel retorted.

"I AM alert" Mari replied.

"You can barely keep your eyes open Mari!" Cel snapped and Mari huffed, trying to think up another excuse but Cel had well and truly cornered them. “Adrenaline will keep me going…” Mari spoke slowly, not looking Cel in the eye “I just...I don’t want anything to happen to you whilst…I’m out...” They muttered slowly looking up at Cel with a somewhat begging look in their eyes.

Cel frowned softly at that, this whole conversation was leaving a bad taste in his mouth but Cel was determined to win this argument. Especially since it was his friend's health that was on the line.

"...Mari don't you trust me?" Cel muttered softly, also looking at Mari with a somewhat begging look. Though there was a hint of betrayal hidden within his features; After everything they had been through surly Mari would at least feel comfortable closing their eyes around Cel for a few seconds. Though with how much they were fighting this Cel figured that the trust wasn’t entirely there.

"Of course I do," Mari muttered back, slowly going back to avoiding eye contact.

"Then why...why can't you trust me to look after you whilst you sleep?" Cel begged desperately trying to get Mari to look him in the eyes when they decided to answer him.

"Because you can't fight!" Mari snapped an angry look flashing across their face for a few moments before a guilty one quickly replaced it.

They both stared at each other in shock for a few moments before Cels' expression turned into one of annoyance.

"Did you not see me take on those monsters!?!" Cel snapped back, not fond of the way Mari had seemingly brushed off this achievement.

"Yes! But if they had been moving any quicker you would've died!" Cel opened his mouth to retort but Mari continued "And you still got hurt, but that's just because you were too busy looking after me!"

"Do you want me to let you get hurt then!" Cel snapped, his voice cracking with emotion.

"No! I don't want me to get MYSELF hurt in the first place! So you don't have to protect me!" Mari snapped back, hoping that Cel would finally understand their point.

Cel didn't, they only saw that as another reason to get Mari to rest.

"Well what if I want to protect you!" Cel said eyes now blazing with as much emotion as his voice currently was.

Mari sighed in frustration, covering their face with their hands. There was no winning this, Mari didn't know what to say.

That was until an idea popped into their mind.

"Alright, you want to protect me, fine" They got up off the bed and turned, looking down at Cel with a mostly determined look on their face.

"But we gotta work on your fighting technique first, because not every enemy will go down because you threw an umbrella at them," Mari huffed. Cel went to get up, almost forgetting about his injured back; However the movement quickly reminded him of it as a flash of pain shot down it and he cringed.

Maris' features immediately softened and they reached forward to comfort their ailing friend. Though Cel flinched away, mind currently elsewhere, not realising he had hurt Mari by doing that.

"Am I interrupting something?"

They both stopped in their tracks and turned towards the door.

Lil Guy was standing near it, a bemused but worried expression on his face.

"Or have you finished with your lover's quarrel? Because I still need to give Cel a check up" Lil Guy piped up; causing Cel to look up and give LG one of his meanest glares, whilst also blushing furiously.

Mari on the other hand looked up at Lil Guy, a grateful look on their face. “Yes, please...we..we’re done…” Mari muttered going over to sit on the chair standing next to the window; Figuring Cel wouldn’t want them around at this moment in time.

The duo spent the rest of the check up and healing in silence; Cel only really whimpered in pain as Lil Guy treated his wound. Mari could only take so much of Cels whining before slowly getting up off the chair and walking over to go comfort his injured friend.

Lil Guy smiled as he watched Mari gently take Cels hand and begin rubbing circles into it, understanding that arguments were a decent part of a growing relationship but hoping the duo would make up soon.

#Cel and Mari #long post #stickocs #animation vs animator #alan becker #tw injury #tw romance

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