#youre enough | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cianmarstoo · 6 days

Note

‘ remember to scrub behind your ears. ’ for the prompt post :) love your writing!

You're enough Chapter 4: inbetween Shower

(thank you so much for this prompt, combined it with another on ao3 as they both fit so well together! <3 Hope you enjoy this!)

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Alex carried the last of the glasses from the dining room table to the kitchen, where Derek and Meredith were cleaning up the kitchen. Meredith was washing the dishes which couldn’t be washed in the dishwasher, while Derek loaded the dirty ones into it. Derek had been the one to cook their meal, and usually the one who cooked didn’t have to clean, but they’d had a dinner party, inviting Addie, Mark, and Jackson around, so Derek was insisting on chipping in on the cleaning.

Alex wasn’t going to complain about that, not if it meant he had to do less cleaning. He placed the wine glasses he had collected, along with the sippy cup Jackson had borrowed, and placed them between Derek and Meredith, honestly whenever Alex did the dishes he just hoped for the best that everything could be thrown in the dishwasher.

“That’s the last of them… the sippy might need to be put in a furnace or something,” Alex pulled a face, “Jack got all his spit on it.” At least it was Alex’s least favourite one, and he would be getting his own back next time he was dropped at Mark’s place.

“We can get it clean,” Meredith assured him, clearly deciding that he was being dramatic as she fondly rolled her eyes at him, “thank you for letting him borrow it.”

Alex blushed at her praise, but sent her a small smile, “Whatever, it wasn’t like I was usin’ it.” He went to push himself back to sit on the counter only to realize there was stuff there, so he just held himself up, swinging back and forth… he wondered if he could swing himself enough to flip over, maybe flip over onto the countertop.

He suddenly felt himself go weightless, he yelped, expecting to feel himself fall onto the ground, maybe hit his head which Derek was always warning him about.

But he didn’t go crashing down at all, instead he was suddenly being held. Even if he couldn’t see the fact he was now placed on Derek’s hip he would have known, in the past 6 months he had gotten used to pretty much everything about Meredith and Derek, including what their hands felt like, and what if felt like to be held by them. “Hey! You scared me!”

Derek let out a breath of laughter, but he kept Alex on his hip. “Well, now you know what it’s like being scared by you. Not everything needs to be climbed or swung on, Monkey.”

“You never should have given him the nickname,” Meredith teased Derek, “it was just tempting fate.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in fate?” Derek teased.

“Erm, hi?” Alex leant awkwardly to wave his hand in Derek’s face, so Derek had to hoist him up higher, “I’m still here, and I’m big, can you put me down and stop doing your whole gross flirting thing in front of me?”

“We’re not gross.”

“Yeah, you guys are,” Alex disagreed, “especially when you guys flirt in public, cause everyone knows you guys are my parents,” he could feel his cheeks blush hot, but shrugged, “it’s embarrassing.”

“You only think we’re embarrassing because we’re your parents,” Derek told him, “I was the same when my parents did pretty much anything.”

Alex looked across at Meredith questioningly, he should have expected her shrug, she had as little idea about families as he did. “Nah, I’m pretty sure y’all are just embarrassing. Der , put me down.”

“What’s the magic word?”

Alex pouted and rolled his eyes, “ Please .”

“It was abracadabra, but ‘please’ is pretty close,” Derek teased and placed him onto the ground finally.

Meredith laughed and Alex rolled his eyes even harder, “Traitor!” he gasped, and had a dish towel thrown at his head by her.

“How big are you actually feeling?”

Alex frowned at Meredith’s question, he threw the towel up into the air a few times, “I already told you, I’m big.”

“You know we have to ask,” Meredith reminded him, “we understand it’s hard for you to tell us when you need to drop or to realize when you’re slowly dropping.”

“You also,” Derek added, adding the last few plates into the dishwasher, “spent the evening having Jackson forcing you to play with his toys with him, that can trigger needing or just wanting to drop, especially when he was playing with your toys. You know that Doctor Jack explained that until you get on a more regular schedule for dropping, and not putting it off, we’re going to have to ask you regularly.” Derek pressed the buttons, then shut the door, flipping the magnet on the front so it was green and said ‘clean’, ready for the next morning.

Alex huffed, “He’s my therapist, he’s meant to be on my side, not yours.”

Meredith sent him that same fond smile she always wore when he grumbled, it was nice, in a weird way, that there was someone who found him easy to love even when he was pouting and grumbling. “There’s no sides, Alex. If there were, I’m pretty sure him doing something that sucks but helps you is still being on your side, honey.”

“Plus you managed to convince him to hook up a switch in his office so you could play Mario against him, that's pretty on your side- not that there are sides.” Derek pointed out. He undid the child locks on a cupboard and pulled out the cleaning chemicals. “If you’re sure you’re big can you take the trash out, please, it’s your night.”

“But it’s only a little full,” Alex whined.

“It’s full,” Meredith sent him a look, “because we don’t play tetris with the trash, Alexander.”

“It still counts as not overflowing just because the lid doesn’t close,” but her look just intensified at his argument, apparently she didn’t agree. He shouldn’t be surprised, she had always insisted on coasters on tables and for him not to climb on things, and to tidy up messes. He sighed and pouted, but relented, walking over to the trashcan and pulling the black bag out of it. “ Fine .”

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Alex flipped the outside light on before heading out the kitchen door to dump the trash in the trash can. He didn’t really mind this job, Mer was always insistent on the home being clean, that seemed to go double for making sure that the inside trashcan never had a chance to accumulate trash-juice, so it didn’t smell that bad. The only issue was, despite Alex’s best wishes (and god did he wish for this)... they hadn’t had a family of raccoons there for him to adopt as pets… yet.

He threw the trash bag into the can, with a thud as it hit the bottom, he sighed before putting the lid on it… yet again, no raccoons. He decided to keep his mind on what he would call his raccoon pets as he walked back to the backdoor of the house, using it to try and distract himself from thinking about how dark it now was.

Naturally when he walked back in Meredith and Derek were making out, Meredith pressing Derek back against a cabinet, hands still wearing the gloves she wore while handwashing dishes, though now they were on Derek’s shirt, leaving wet handprints in several areas.

“Oh c’mon! Don’t I already have enough trauma?”

“Nope,” but she pulled away from Derek and sent Alex a smile, her hands still on Derek’s chest with his arms around her, “I’m guessing, since you’re not running to your room hiding something, that there were no raccoons around?”

Alex pouted as Derek and Meredith both chuckled, “No. I don’t get why they’re never around when I have to take the trash out: It's a living hell.”

Meredith shook her head, still smiling at him, she finally moved one hand off of Derek, grabbing a pack of wet wipes , which she threw to him. She waited to speak until he had wiped his hands clean on a wipe, before sitting himself down at the island. Meredith watched him, her smile still firmly in place. “I don’t think not seeing raccoons makes your life some kind of trial, but thanks for taking it out.”

“Yup,” Derek agreed, smirking, he rested his head on top of Meredith’s, “gold star.”

Alex rolled his eyes, and placed his head down on the island countertop, he ignored the sauce or whatever which his forehead must have landed in. “You keep jokin’ about gettin’ a sticker chart,” he pointed out, “but you never do. You’re gonna give me trust issues, dude.”

“Do you want a sticker chart?” Derek’s voice was soft, and genuine.

Alex kept his head on the counter, he could feel their eyes on him even if he couldn’t see them. He was immediately going to completely deny it, but instead he just shrugged. “I was just jokin’” he mumbled. Both of them were quiet enough that Alex knew they were either whispering or mouthing, or having one of those weird mind reading conversations they seemed to be able to have. Alex should probably object to that too, but he didn’t.

“It could be a good idea,” Meredith broached, “it could help you do things you need to remember like chores, or help with your behavior.”

“My behavior’s fine,” Alex whined.

“It is,” Derek agreed, “most of the time, but sometimes it’s a little harder, isn’t it Monkey?”

Alex kept his head down until he felt Derek’s hand in his hair, his nails gently scratching his scalp in the way which Derek knew he liked, his finger gently tapped his head after a few seconds. He still whined again, but forced himself to look up at them, his chin resting on the island, he pouted at both of them.

“I think it’s a good thing to try,” Meredith told him, giving him that hopeful look of hers which always seemed to work on him, “plus it means you get a reward when you get enough stickers.”

Alex frowned, “Wait, whatcha mean? I thought it was just getting stickers?” Derek’s fingers began to scratch his scalp again, which Alex knew meant that this was something which pretty much everyone knew.

“Nope, you get an actual reward too, me and dad will discuss what we think is the best way to do it, and we’ll order a couple.”

“You don’t gotta,” Alex said to her, gaining the same look from her she always gave him when he felt bad about them wasting time or money on him.

“We’re ordering some, I think they do combination ones for Littles. I’ll take a look when you go to bed.”

“We can put it on the fridge,” Derek nodded at the fridge which had been completely clear when Derek and Alex had moved in, but now was covered in photos and appointments and a lot of Alex’s drawings and paintings from when he was Little, and doodles on notes left them when he was big; “that way you can keep an eye on what you need to do.”

Alex pulled a face, “But people will see it.”

“Who could possibly see it who hasn’t seen you refusing to dress in anything but paw patrol pajamas for a week straight?”

Alex blushed, “Okay, but that’s- Jackson and April are gonna see it and Jackson’s gonna be a d- a er, donkey about it, and April’s gonna be even worse ‘cause she’ll be like ‘you can’t do that it’s against your rules’ but even worse than she always is!”

“If she oversteps, tell me or dad and we’ll talk to Owen, same with Jackson, we’ll talk to Mark. But if that’s your only reason I think it could be a good idea.”

Alex whined and pouted, but it didn’t work. “Fine, but I’m getting a raccoon as the ‘reward’.” Meredith just snorted with laughter so he poked his tongue out at her. “I’mma go shower.”

“Why don’t you take a bath instead?” Derek suggested.

Alex frowned, “Why?”

“Because,” Meredith answered without needing to look up at him or even at Derek, her eyes were on her phone, “you’re close to dropping, and you dropped while showering last week and it didn’t go great.”

“I’m not close to dropping,” Alex wasn’t sure that the whine and the pout was working on his behalf. “I’ll be fine, I swear.”

Derek and Meredith exchanged a look, then Meredith looked back at him with a sigh, “Okay, but you’re going to compromise and only have a quick shower so we don’t worry, and you’re going to leave the door unlocked in case you need any help.”

“It really wasn’t that bad last week mom.”

Derek raised his eyebrow, “I had to climb up a ladder and through the window to help you unlock the door, you really upset yourself Alexander. Door unlocked, and a quick shower, or one of us can sit in there for you.”

Alex groaned his cheeks were now absolutely bright red. He yet again wondered what kind of curse they had put on him to always be able to embarrass him like this. He got to his feet. “ Fine .”

“Alex,” Meredith’s voice forced him to stop, before he could walk away, “which one?”

“I’ll leave it unlocked,” he groaned, rolling his eyes, before he started to walk towards the door, “ god .”

“Twenty minutes, then I’m calling the firefighters to help me break down the door.”

Alex rolled his eyes again, this time at Derek laughing at his own joke, “You don’t gotta do that, I already said I won’t lock it. An’ you’re not funny.”

“You’re just cranky.” Derek grinned, “Make sure to wash your face, you’ve got sauce on it somehow.”

“I wasn’t gonna not wash my face, Der, I’m a full-grown-adult.” he threw over his shoulder as he left the kitchen.

He walked through the dining room where he kicked some broccoli which he hadn’t quite managed to throw into the plant pot during dinner, behind it. They’d never find it there, and if they did he could just convince them it was one of the plant’s kids or something… or he could blame Jackson, that would go well.

“Remember to scrub behind your ears!” He heard Meredith call through to him, laughter and teasing in her voice.

He shook his head, heading up the stairs relieved that they had left the gates open so he wasn’t forced to climb over them which would probably get him scolded, or ask them for help when they were being annoying. “You’re both so embarrassing!” he could hear them laughing from halfway up the staircase.

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Alex got distracted nearly immediately, he went to find some pjs to wear and wasn’t sure which to go for, then got distracted doing, pretty much everything else, until he heard Meredith call up to him to remind him to shower. So he quickly headed into the family bathroom, he’d find some pajamas after he’d showered.

He liked the bathroom, both the en-suit in Meredith’s room with the big bathtub, and the family one, in fact he preferred the family one. Before living here he’d lived in the shittiest motel in Seattle, it’d had damp, and black mold, and the water was brown and rarely worked, the pressure was almost nonexistent and the light flickered in a way which made him not want to shower at night in case it got dark.

The family bathroom was mostly white, which was boring, but there were pops of color, like his bright toothbrush which was next to the sink faucet, and the shark stickers he’d stuck on the mirror one time which he was surprised that Meredith and Derek hadn’t minded him doing, in fact Meredith had seemed to really like them, especially when she had told him that she had never been allowed to decorate it, but she liked what he had done with it.

He grabbed his favorite towel, the one with the sharks on it, and threw it on the floor, before sliding open the shower door to turn it on. There were a lot more colors inside the shower tub combo too, it had always been tiled red, but now there was a multi-bucket toy storage stuck to the tile, with a lot of toys in it, mostly for when he was taking a bath… maybe he should have decided to take a bath like Derek had suggested, but he didn’t want to do what his daddy- his dad- his, fuck , Derek had told him to.

He stripped off, throwing his clothes around the room with nary a care before climbing into the hot shower sighing contently as he did.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been under the spray, he’d gotten distracted, looking through the toys in the middle bucket trying to find the boat Derek had given him, the one he wasn’t sure he’d seen since Meredith had gotten hurt on the boat. Eventually he gave up, his parents, foster parents, would probably know, but they hadn’t gone anywhere near the ferries since the whole thing at work.

He grabbed Derek’s shower gel, he always seemed to leave one in this bathroom, probably for when Meredith was hogging the shower, he was glad Derek always did, Alex had his own shower gel of course, a couple of them in fact, but he liked Derek’s one, for reasons unrelated to Derek completely. And Derek never noticed it gone, it wasn’t like Alex had ever used it all, so Alex was fairly certain Derek didn’t know he used it at all.

He was still thinking about his missing ferry as he washed the suds of the shower gel off. He grabbed Meredith’s shampoo, the lavender one which she also had a double of in the family bathroom, he knew it was girly, even if both Meredith and Derek told him it was fine for him to use it, that flowers were for everyone, but Alex wasn’t so sure… he did like it though, because it felt safe, like Mer.

But he was also thinking about his ferry, he was thinking about it so much that he wasn’t paying attention to his hands in his hair, or not in his hair anymore, but on his face, in his eyes.

He let out a cry of surprise and pain as the shampoo immediately stung his eyes. He immediately tries to rub the shampoo out of his hands, but the shampoo on his hands just made it hurt even more, and let out another cry.

“Dad!” he shouted, instinctively, still rubbing his eyes which were squeezed shut, he called Derek’s name again, crying harder when Derek didn’t magically appear. It wasn’t fair, his daddy should just be there as soon as he wanted him. He opened his mouth again to shout, but he heard the door open. Alex tried to open his eyes to see if it was Derek, or maybe a monster, but opening them just got more shampoo in his eyes, and he cried harder.

“Alexander, what’s wrong?”

His daddy’s voice was serious, but kind, Derek was always kind to him, even when Alex was in trouble. “Dad!” Alex cried.

The door to the shower slid open, hitting Alex with cooler air, he immediately felt Derek’s hands on his own, pulling his hands away from his eyes. “ Dad, ” he whimpered once again, “ owie .”

“Did you get something in your eyes sunshine?”

Alex nodded, flicking sudds everywhere, he kept his eyes clamped shut.

“Okay, sunshine, I’m going to help you sit down in the tub, I’m just going to move some of your toys,” Derek’s hands left his own, the shower turned off, and there was the noise of a lot of plastic things crashing against each other, before Derek’s hands went back to his upper arms. “Okay, monkey, down we go.”

Alex allowed Derek to guide him down. “Didn’t mean to… gots it in my eye.”

“It’s okay Alexander, I know you didn’t mean to get shampoo in your eyes. It’s okay, daddy’s going to help you. Can you open your eyes for me?”

Alex shook his head, “No, hurts daddy.”

“I know it does, baby, but I need to check them, to make sure you haven’t really hurt them. Can you be super brave for me, sunshine?”

Alex whimpered, but opened his eyes up, they were all watery, so he couldn’t even see Derek properly, he was all watery and blurry, he whimpered again, Derek clearly didn’t understand that this was agony, worse than anything anyone had ever felt, ever . Derek’s face went close to his, he held open Alex’s eyes to look close at them. “ Daddy .”

“I know sunshine, you’re being so brave. Daddy’s going to get you out of the tub. Let me just grab your towel, you’re doing so good, Alexander, so, so good.”

Alex was wrapped in his towel and Derek easily picked him up out of the tub, Alex squeezed his eyes shut again, and ducked his head against Derek’s neck. Too soon he was placed down, and despite the stinging Alex opened his eyes to stare at Derek who had placed him down on the closed toilet lid. “No!”

“I know baby,” Derek soothed, “daddy just needs to flush your eyes out, just to be sure.”

Alex shook his head, “No, daddy don’t wanna.”

“I know, but this is something we need to do, we don’t want your poor eyes hurting, do we?”

Alex pouted, sure his eyes hurt… a lot, but he also didn’t want them to be flushed out. “They be okay daddy, no more water.”

“Sorry buddy, you know that mommy and daddy keeping you safe comes first, it’ll be so fast, I promise.” Derek moved to the sink, grabbing a first aid kit from the cabinet, before he moved back over to Alex. He kept talking to Alex as he sorted out the eye wash. “Daddy’s just going to do this, then I’ll give you a really quick bath, buddy. You got all your toys out,” he said as he tried to keep Alex calm, “were you playing in the shower?”

“Nuh uh… wanted to, couldn’t find fairy boat.”

Derek paused, before continuing what he was doing, knowing it was needed. “You were looking for the ferryboat daddy gave you, huh?” Alex tried to nod his head, but Derek was holding it still. “I put it safe, baby, I didn’t think you’d want to see it.”

“Why?”

“Well… I know everything that happened with mommy and the ferryboat was scary, I didn’t think you’d want it.”

“I want it,” Alex pouted, “I wanna go the big fairy ship, never go anymore.”

Derek was quiet again, this time he used the silence to wash Alex’s eyes out, making soothing noises and praising Alex as he fixed his baby. Eventually they were done, and Derek placed a damp cool washcloth on Alex’s eyes, and moved Alex’s hand to hold it, while he quickly tidied up the bathtub and started to fill it up to bathe Alex.

“Daddy.”

Derek looked back at Alex, who had moved the wash cloth from his eyes, which were red but would be okay, Alex was pouting and looking sad. Derek didn’t hesitate; he moved back to crouch in front of him, pulling his towel tighter around his shoulders. Unsurprisingly Alex was beginning to shrink. He knew Alex would call him overprotective, but there was no way he was allowed to shower alone when he and Meredith thought he might be between headspaces, Derek didn’t care, twice was enough times for this to go poorly.

“What’s up monkey?”

“Wanna go fairy.”

“Daddy and mommy will have to talk about it, maybe Doctor Jack too.”

“Wanna go now.”

Derek pressed a kiss to the tip of Alex’s nose, “it’s nighttime baby, there’s no ferries out right now, they’re all in bed. And Alex needs to go to bed soon too, anyway.”

“Not right now, p’ease?”

“Not bed right this second, Sunshine: daddy’s going to give you a nice bath and wash your hair, then we’ll find you some jammies because you didn’t bring any with you.”

“Wan’ded footie jammies, but big.”

Derek sighed softly, “Alexander, you know that no matter how big or little or in the middle you are you can wear whatever clothes you want- if we’re going somewhere mommy and daddy have to say yes- mostly as long as they’re weather appropriate. Otherwise, if you want to wear footie jammies when you’re big or in between, that’s more than fine. Now, let’s get you into this bath, buddy, and get the rest of that shampoo out of your hair.”

Derek picked him up, unwrapping the towel from his shoulders, and placed him down in the tub. “What toy do you want with you, buddy?”

“Sharkies.”

Derek grinned, grabbing a handful of his plastic sharks from one of the tubs on the tile, he crouched down beside the tub, passing the sharks to Alex. “We’re in a sharkies mood, are we?”

“Sharkies’re cool!” Alex beamed.

“They are, aren’t they?” Derek made a mental note to talk to Meredith about taking Alex to the aquarium, he knew Alex would love that…

He should probably talk to her about the fact that Alex was wanting to go back on ferries again, they’d have to talk to him when he wasn’t dropped, see if he wanted to them too. Derek knew that being Little wasn’t like he was a different person, often Alex found it easier to admit what he wanted when he was dropped though. Maybe Alex hadn’t brought up wanting to go as he thought it would be triggering for them.

Derek sat there for a moment, just watching Alex play, having his sharks swimming around. Derek grabbed a great white, and started to make the Jaws theme as it swam towards Alex, once it got to his squealing boy Derek tickled his sides making him squeal even more.

“What are you two doing in here?”

Derek turned to see Meredith in the still open doorway, her eyes drifted to the first aid kit on the floor. “Alex got some shampoo in his eyes, but he was very brave while daddy got them cleaned out, right Alex?”

“Uh huh, need’a sticker,” he told them seriously.

Meredith grinned and moved to sit on the side of the bath, “I guess it’s good mommy already ordered a chart and some stickers for you then, isn’t it?”

“Sharkies stickers?”

“I added some shark ones, and monkeys, and some others I know you’ll like. She caught sight of her shampoo open and grimaced. “Was it my shampoo that got in your eyes, honey?”

Alex nodded his head, “...Just borrow it…”

“That’s okay, that’s why mommy left it in here, I know you like it,” she assured him. She passed Derek the cup with the guard on to stop water from getting in Alex’s eyes while he washed the dry shampoo from his eyes. “When you’re in between big and little you’ve got to use your special no tears shampoo, we don’t want it hurting your eyes.”

“Wan’ mommy’s.”

“I like mommy’s shampoo too,” Derek winked, “But, what’s the new rule for in-between showers, Alex?”

“Gotta have daddy or mommy here too,” Alex announced to her, focusing on his sharks again.

“Oh really?” Meredith eyed Derek with a raised brow.

Derek shrugged, “Yup, that’s right isn’t it, Alex? And daddy’s not being overprotective, is he, sunshine?” Derek tickled his side again making him giggle and nod his head. Derek looked at Meredith “See?”

Meredith rolled her eyes but pressed a kiss against Derek’s cheek, “Fine, but only because you’re the one who’s enforcing that at the start.”

Derek pouted at Meredith.

“Sorry, you’re not as adorable as Alex,” but she still kissed him.

“I’ll work on it.” he assured her, stealing another kiss. “Can you go find him some pjs, he wanted footie ones but he wasn’t sure about wearing them while in between.”

Meredith pressed a kiss to the top of Alex’s hair which was crusted with sudsy shampoo, “Silly boy, of course you can, baby.”

“See, monkey, I told you that.” Derek told him with a smile. He couldn’t help but chuckle as Alex rolled his eyes, because it was such an instant Alex reaction. “Okay, let’s get this shampoo out, daddy will do it again for you, sunshine.”

“You gotta wash sharkies’ hairs too.”

“Sharkies’ hairs? I don’t think they have hair, Alex.”

“‘visidle hair,” Alex told him, both his tone and the look he gave Alex screamed ‘duh’.

Derek rolled his eyes fondly, “Ah, of course, how did I not remember they have invisible hair? Okay, Alex first then I’ll wash your shark's hair and we’ll go find mama.” Derek was quick but carefully not a single bubble got anywhere close to Alex’s eyes, luckily the sharks were currently distracting him. He made sure to use Meredith’s lavender shampoo, it was adorable that Alex liked to be like her, plus, hopefully, the lavender would get Alex to relax enough to go to bed soon, maybe even just with three stories.

“Now sharkies hair,” Alex told Derek once his hair had been rinsed off, and dried off with a towel. Derek laughed and pressed several kisses to Alex’s face, “Why you laughin’ daddy?”

“I’m just thinking about how much I love you, Alex. You know I love you, right?”

“Uh huh, you an’ mommy lub me an’ lots, an’ Jack Jack lubs me, an…. Lots’a people.”

Derek smiled, thinking back to the Alex who didn’t know who to tell about being a Little, and turning to him and Meredith, without really thinking that they’d want to help him. Now Alex knew that he had a huge family who loved him. “That’s right baby, you’ve got lots and lots of people who love you so much, and we always will.”

#not too much verse #youre enough #youre enough verse #alex karev #little alex karev #agere alex karev #age regression alex karev #caregiver derek shepherd #caregiver meredith grey #greys anatomy #agere fic #sfw agere fic #fic prompt

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bbyyxoxo · 15 days

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How to be more confident 💖

1) Be proud of the small things.

Those with confidence believe in their goals and are dedicated to them. On your journey to achieving greater confidence, come up with a goal or several small goals. You can even use a journal to write down these goals and track your progress, it really helps.

2) Do not judge others.

Judging others tends to mean that they have something you are lacking. Rather than judging, acknowledge that everybody is a human being just like you. Everybody is different. Every person has a gift that makes them unique that they can offer the world. What you give into the world, you shall receive. For example, say you were commenting mean things about someone on their post. Those things you were saying about that person will project onto you. The same thing goes for if you were commenting nice things about someone on their post, those compliments will project onto you. Consider that the person you were going to judge might also lack confidence and a compliment from you may help them feel more confident.

3) Lean to say no.

Telling people no can be healthy, especially if it’s something that you do not want to be a part of. You do not have to help your bestfriend move if you already have plans with your children. You do not have to feel guilty about telling someone you cannot make it to an outing or a party because you want to rest on your day off. Learn to say no to things you do not want to do with confidence and avoid using phrases like “I will think about it” or “I will get back to you.”

4) Speak up.

Confident people are not afraid to speak up and make their opinions known. If they have something valuable to share, they do so with confidence. They are not afraid to be wrong and see input from others as an opportunity to learn. Be confident about your opinions and don’t take being wrong about something personal. Instead, use feedback as a way to improve.

5) Get to know yourself.

For example when people are going through trauma, pstd, anxiety, depression, etc; most of the time they don’t realize they have it. You need to get to know yourself and realize that your bad habits and bad thoughts are not normal. The sooner you realize that these negative things are not normal the sooner you will seek help, go to therapy, and heal. I’m not talking about getting these diagnosis’s cured, i’m talking about healing. Healing is a big part of confidence and overall just makes you feel better about yourself and your environment. Getting to know yourself isn’t just about mental illness though. Do you really think you can change your habits, love yourself, and heal yourself if you don’t even know who you are personally? I recommend shadow work. You can buy the shadow work journal but if you’re on a budget you can look up “shadow work questions” on google or Pinterest then write down all your answers to those questions. This will help you get to know yourself better.

6) Admit when you are wrong.

Stop thinking that you know everything and thinking that you don’t need to learn anything. The most confident people and the most intelligent people are willing to learn from their mistakes. A part of confidence is learning more about the world, yourself, the people around you, etc. No you don’t have to be the smartest person in the room or know everything about everything but you need to learn from mistakes and be willing to learn more about things you don’t know much about.

7) Positive affirmations.

Rewire your mind with positive affirmations. This really works. Positive affirmations will make you feel so much more confident and make you feel more attractive. When you feel confident and feel attractive other people will think you’re confident and attractive. What you believe in your mind is the most powerful thing. Our brains have been hardwired through evolution to focus on the negative before the positive. So by saying positive affirmations or even listening to positive affirmations it will be good for you, it will help you. It is not a bad thing and it is not something crazy. It will rewire your mind. Even if you do not believe the affirmations you are saying or hearing at first, by doing it everyday in the mirror you will start to believe it.

8) Be authentic and humble.

Truly confident people are themselves authentically and do not try to fit in. They just are the way they are and do their own thing. They don’t try to be someone else. They are also humble. If you think you are better than somebody else you are 100% insecure. Humble people also do not need to be only surrounded by “popular people” or only people with “big names.” A humble person can sit down and have a good conversation with somebody homeless, and can have the same conversation with somebody popular. They don’t have to prove themselves to anybody, because they are confident. If you think about all these popular people or famous people who will only hangout with popular or famous people, one day they will have nothing. Popularity and fame are nothing. There will be a day where that popularity and fame will disappear and if that’s the only thing you surrounded yourself with you will have nothing. Fame and popularity are temporary in most cases. Do not take your value from being “popular” or “famous” For example, if you are popular or famous your life should not change whether you have that fame or not. Do not take your value from being “an online personality.” You need to be strong in yourself with or without. You love yourself and that’s all that matters.

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