#you know- with things that he might have learnt online
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cyberspace
#gabriel o'hara#spiderman 2099#fanart#i thought way too long about this#i think each issue should end with him disconecting and then having to do something mundane#and as issues process he has to do more and more things irl#you know- with things that he might have learnt online#he has to still keep his VR programmer freelance gig anyway#can't stay online all day#atsv
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|| ʙʟᴀɴᴋ ᴄᴀɴᴠᴀꜱ || ᴘᴛ. ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ||
a/n: Hello loves! So sorry I kept y'all waiting for part three, I hope you enjoy this! Just wanted to let y'all know that I'll be flying off to South Korea for a vacation, and will only be back on the 22nd of June so updates will be paused till then. I'll try to continue writing on my trip, but there are no guarantees I won't be too tired lolol.
Love, pumpkin.
[ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ] | [ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ] | [ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ]
Blackmail — The act of attempting to force someone to do something or give up something valuable by threatening negative consequences if they don’t, especially revealing negative information about them.
That's what the online dictionary says anyway, which is perfect!
As such, it wouldn't be blackmail as much as it would be....persuasive negotiation. Which is the exact opposite of blackmail, which, again, is perfect!
Yeah, you’re getting nowhere with this.
You stifle a defeated groan as you collapse onto the plush mattress of your bed, dragging your hands down your face. Your phone beeps with a message, startling you out of your thoughts.
Nicole [ 7.15 PM ]: Did you find what you were looking for?
Nicole [ 7.15 PM ]: ?
Nicole [ 7.30 PM ]: Update me tomorrow.
Right. Nicole. Your hand falls limply to the side, fingers loosely gripping the device.
Crap.
How would you explain it to her? She’s always been good at sniffing out your lies. To tell, or not to tell. That is the question. Maybe you should just pretend nothing happened. That’d be the only reasonable thing to do in this situation, right?
But your art is at risk here. And if it’s anything you’ve learnt over your many years of living, it’s that you’re a stubborn bull that can’t back down once you’re set on something. And right now, you’re set on getting Spiderman to be your model.
You might get your mojo back if you draw him enough times. Maybe your art block won’t be so constipated anymore, and perhaps you might even get into the art school you have your eye on.
And maybe, just maybe, you might catch the eye of the art scouts at the end-of-year exhibition.
So there’s no way you can afford to give this up.
You’ll convince him. You have to.
— — — — —
“So, why’d you ignore my messages yesterday?”
You flinch away from the sudden hand on your shoulder, fingers decorated with rings glinting in the sun. Michael winces from where he’s standing opposite you, taking a long, slow sip of his juice box.
You stammer out Nicole’s name in surprise, the girl in question looking at you with a raised brow and serious eyes. She scans your nervous smile and flushed cheeks, letting go of you with a nod.
“You met him. How was it?”
Damn it.
“I didn’t end up meeting him,” You say with a defeated sigh, hoping it’s not excessive. Being under Nicole’s observant gaze is one of the scariest experiences in the world, with pigeons in close proximity a close second.
“Okay,” Her dubious tone gives you a slight sense of hope, only for your heart to drop at her next question. “So, why’d you ask me for Miles’s photo?”
“I, uh, ran into him and thought he looked familiar. So, I asked for his picture to double check,” You admit, hoping the truth mixed into some lies would be enough to convince her.
“Right…What’s your impression of him, then?”
“Cute?” You blurt out without thinking, recalling the framed picture of his young self with his parents on the small table.
“You think he’s cute?”
“M-maybe?” You try, but it clicks once you see the disgust in her eyes. “Yes! I do, in fact, find him very attractive. One might even say that he is now my…crush?”
You pray she doesn’t notice the underlying wince in your words. Nicole shudders, taking a small step away from you. “You need to get your eyes checked or something. I’ve known the guy since we were in diapers, and trust me when I say that he’s nothing but trouble.”
“I won’t do anything, I promise. Besides, I’m sure the crush is just temporary. It’ll blow over before you even know it!” Mainly because you don’t have a crush on the guy in the first place. But you do need to figure out a way to trap him to persuade him into being your model.
“Wait, you met Miles?”
“Why’re you glossing over the fact that she likes him?” Nicole says incredulously, gesturing to you with wide eyes. It’s probably the most expressive you’ve ever seen her, save for the time you invited them to go cafe hopping with you on a sweltering Monday.
You’d never heard so many variations of curses before, all of which Nicole unintentionally introduced you to. Since then, you’ve learnt to only hang out on cooler days with better weather and cafes within walking distance.
“So?” Michael shrugs nonchalantly, but the amused smile on his lips suggests otherwise. “Why are you so affected?”
“Because it’s my best friend liking Miles Morales - the guy I’ve known since we were babies. He’s not good enough for her.” Nicole decides with a frown. You turn to her, tears brimming in the corner of your eyes as you place your hands on your heart.
“I’m your best friend?” Nicole rolls her eyes at your words, crossing her arms. “You can drop from that tier anytime, so you better watch out.” She replies simply with a halfhearted glare, but her words have no bite to them. Her ears are tinted red.
“Aww,” You coo, throwing your arms around the girl who baulks in surprise, almost falling to the ground had you not steadied both of you. She wriggles under your tight hug, giving up quickly with a groan.
“Let me get in on that, chicas-” Michael is cut off when you kick his ankle, biting back a pained cry while you continue to hug Nicole, who has a satisfied smirk at your action. “Good job.” She pats your arm, and you reluctantly let go, dramatically wiping the tears away.
At least you succeeded in distracting her.
The rest of the day practically flies by, your body on autopilot and going through the motions of taking out your textbooks and doodling on them. Math, Science, and History were all meaningless in your eyes as you tried to make another plan to meet him. The past three attempts had shown you exactly how difficult it was to meet with the hero, much less alone.
You’re not one to give up, though. You stare down at the piece of paper filled with doodles and scribbled words — an outline of a plan, circling Spiderman’s name in red.
Okay, let’s try this again.
Attempt #1: Meet Him At The Park - The Friendly Way.
You take a tentative glance around. Good, No dogs are in sight. You look over to the park's far end, where you had set up a sign saying that dog treats were being given out for free if they assembled there.
Sometimes, lying is an essential means of survival. Another quick scan of your surroundings confirms that no one is in the path of the taco truck, and feeling only slightly guilty when you spot the owner’s surprised expression, wondering why his usual customers aren’t present.
However, you try not to linger on that, choosing to double-check if everything you need is on you.
Phone? Check. Earbuds? Check. Wallet? Check. Spiderman?
You grin once you spot the masked hero landing in front of the taco truck, right on schedule.
Check.
Standing up, you slowly make your way over, giving him time to place his order. Every step is light, your heart oddly calm as you approach him. Yeah. You got this. It’s just getting him to agree that’s the hard part.
Okay. You got this. Play it cool.
Walking up to the taco truck, you clear your throat, propping your elbow onto the small metal platform near the baskets of condiments. You casually glance at him, scanning his suit from head to toe before meeting his eyes.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” he replies slowly with a slight tilt of his head, surprised by your sudden presence. He taps his fingers against the cold metal of the taco truck in a steady rhythm. You take a slow breath. You can take your time. It’s just a boy under the mask, after all.
“So, how’s being Spiderman going?” You ask absentmindedly, looking down at your nails and only now noticing that you’re in desperate need of a manicure.
“It’s going good. And you?”
“Could be better.”
“That doesn’t sound good. Is it anything your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman can help with?” His words are filled with worry, now giving you his full attention.
Got him.
“Well…” You trail off, barely managing to hide the excitement in your eyes and voice. Now’s the time to approach him carefully. If you’re careless, you could lose one of the few opportunities to get him to be your muse.
“Uh-huh?” He grabs the paper bag of tacos the owner hands him, handing him a crumpled bill from a hidden pocket in his suit with a quick nod of thanks in one smooth movement. However, he hears a slight commotion a short distance away, eyes narrowing as he tries to determine the source.
“I’m an art student, and I need a muse,” You continue, encouraged by his questioning hum and failing to notice the way his gaze is focused on something happening behind you. “So I was thinking-”
“Right, uh, miss. You seem like an absolutely wonderful lady. I’m so sorry, but we’ll have to continue this conversation another day. Duty’s kinda calling right now. I’ll pass by the basketball court tomorrow, and you can ask me your question there?” You can’t tell if he’s smiling, grinning, or even scowling under the mask. But it didn’t exactly sound hostile, so that’s that you suppose.
“Meet me at the sub shop on Fifth Avenue, two lefts after the huge statue and a right at the Lego store. Two-thirty P.M.,” You reply immediately. Why Mr Perez’s shop, in particular, you didn’t know. But you’re not about to chase after his ass again after the last few times. Not a chance in hell.
He agrees with a quick but apologetic nod, already swinging off with his paper bag of tacos and heading toward the angry horde of dog parents around the sign you placed earlier. You watch him land before them, trying to calm the group down.
Well, at least you got an appointment with him tomorrow. The problem now is how to make sure he accepts. Plus, him constantly running off isn’t the most ideal scenario in your situation.
So, you have to make sure he stays put.
You walk off, heading to the sub shop with the beginnings of an idea. (While simultaneously forgetting about the horde of dog parents who’re growing increasingly angrier from the absence of promised dog treats).
— — — — —
“Mr Perez, nice shirt! Did you separate the whites from the colours? It looks so clean!” You greet as soon as you walk in, taking a deep breath and smiling at the scent of pickle brine. The store is relatively empty, the last customer leaving through the door just as you walked in.
The store owner walks to the glass door, flipping the sign around to read Closed. He sends you a wary glance, walking back behind the counter to start cleaning up while you lean against the glass display case.
“What do you want?”
“Who said I wanted anything?”
“You only compliment my laundry when you want something.” It’s true. You do tend to do that. You suppose it’s time to be rid of the habit. But not today, for you have much more important goals to pursue.
“Okay. I need to borrow the storeroom for, like, a couple of hours tomorrow afternoon. No disturbances, complete privacy. Not even Didi is allowed in.” You get straight to the point, not bothering to beat around the bush.
“...Are you doing drugs?”
“That’s gross. And unsanitary. If I were doing drugs, I’d do it in the Science lab at school.” You point out, scrunching your nose in disgust.
“Are you smoking? Vaping?”
“No, and no. C’mon, Mr Perez, I thought you knew me better than that!” You huff, though you know that he’s just joking from the amused twinkle in his eyes.
“Fine. Just give me the signal. Besides, Didi’s at preschool tomorrow till five.” He says simply, wiping down his workstation with a clean cloth.
“Really? No takebacks!” You say with an exaggerated gasp, not expecting him to actually agree. The bright smile on your face makes him chuckle, shaking his head fondly as he washes up the kitchen knives in the sink.
“What time will you be coming?”
“Two-thirty. Remember, you promised no questions asked!” You call out over your shoulder as you exit while raising your hand in a quick salute. You saunter on home with your hands in your pockets, chest swelling with pride that you got a guaranteed meeting with the very boy you’ve been trying to convince to be your muse.
You’ve definitely got this.
— — — — —
Attempt #2: Kidnap Meet Him At The Sub Store - The Friendly Way.
Two-fifteen P.M.
You glance over at the IKEA clock hanging from the wall opposite you in the storeroom, tying the string securely around the metal shelf. Taking a step back, you survey the setup, scanning it for flaws in your otherwise perfect plan.
You arrange the chair to sit behind a wobbly table that’s about to break any day now due to countless playtimes with Didi’s mischievous ideas. (And maybe some of your own, but Mr Perez doesn’t need to know that.)
The bright light in the slightly cramped storeroom only adds to the ambience (of what, you don’t really know yourself). The punching bag hanging in the corner of the room is definitely no cause for concern. Maybe he’d think that you’re really into exercise. All that’s left is for Spiderman to get caught in your perfect trap. You’re pretty sure he won’t get hurt in the process.
The only thing left now is to wait. You head out into the front of the store, waving Spiderman over as soon as you see him enter. He follows with a skip in his step, only to slow down when you guide him into the storeroom.
“Uh…This is new, even for me.” He comments, looking around at the stacked boxes and metal shelves, unsure of what to make of this sudden change in vibe. You gesture at the chair, closing the door behind you.
“Sorry, I just needed a place away from prying eyes.” You sigh, discreetly watching him take a seat. He does so without hesitation, and you immediately grab the end of the string that’s hooked onto the metal shelf, using all of your strength (and the help of a pulley) to yank it.
Spiderman yelps, dangling from the ceiling by a tightly secured string around his ankle. “What the-? You said you needed help!”
“And I do!” You reply, a tinge of desperation in your words. “Just…just hang on.” You breathe out, taking the frying pan on the shelf next to you after securing the string and leaving him dangling still. You approach him, Spiderman failing to notice, too preoccupied with trying to escape.
“Michael better be right about this,” You mumble under your breath, taking a quick swing and hitting the spot on his head that Michael promised would knock anyone out instantly. Spiderman’s eyes close, his cry of protest cut off as his hands fall limply to his sides.
“Oh.” You stare down at him, squatting down and reaching your hand out to gently massage the spot where you hit him with a guilty smile. You hadn’t expected it to actually work. “Sorry, Morales. My goals aren’t to harm you, promise.”
Standing back up with a wince, you can feel the joints in your body popping from the sudden stretch. You never really bothered with exercise, categorizing your sketching and painting as such.
You huff, grabbing his arms and pulling him across the room after untying him from the string around his ankle. “But one of them might be to start working out,” You say through gritted teeth, finally reaching the punching bag. You take a deep breath, doing your best to pick him up and hold him against it while you tie him up.
“No-” Your muffled cry is cut short when your arms give out, and you fall onto your back with the unconscious hero lying on top of you. You groan, pushing him off you, eyeing the punching bag with distaste.
Another repeated attempt ends in the same result, and your back starts to ache from the impact of the hard surface against your back. You see him starting to stir, your eyes widening in panic, instinctively grabbing the frying pan and hitting him again. He falls back to the floor with a hushed groan while you breathe a sigh of relief.
You stand back up, eyeing the punching bag, before an idea hits you.
Finally, you sit in the chair in front of the punching bag, taking out your sketchbook from the bag you'd placed on one of the shelves this afternoon and beginning to sketch him leisurely. You spot him slowly blinking, regaining his consciousness as he realises that he’s tied up.
"So..." You drawl, leaning back in your seat with a lazy grin. The city's local hero, Spiderman, dangles upside down in your trap. You actually did it. You got him to stay put.
He struggles to get free from the tightly bound ropes, almost tugging off his mask in the process before giving up seconds after. “Not again…” You hear him groan in defeat, looking back up at you with a deadpan stare.
"I have to admit, I love the new suit." You comment, grabbing a pencil and doing a quick sketch, ignoring his earlier words.
"What do you want from me?"
You pause, looking up from your sketchbook. "You sound pretty young to be a hero." You purse your lips, trying to guess his age.
"W-what? No, I don't." His voice turns gruff, and you chuckle from how obvious he was forcing it to be.
"I don't really want much. Just to draw you is all." You hum, flipping a page and letting pencil meet paper.
"What?"
You don't respond, eyes trained on sketching the dimensions of his midnight black suit. "I like the spray paint."
"Thanks," He's surprised by your comment, hands still furiously working to free himself.
"Aren't you a villain?" He questions, unable to hold back his curiosity. You weren't really doing anything to him either, not like the muggers or robbers that roam the streets at night.
You were just... drawing him.
"I just thought the suit was cool." You respond simply with a shrug, looking straight at the white material on his mask that hides his eyes.
He flinches, surprised by the sudden eye contact. "And you trapped me because...?"
"I wanted to draw it."
"You could've just asked."
"I tried. You weren't really paying attention, or you weren’t available. Hero duties and all, remember? "
Now that you mentioned it, the hero does remember you from the mugging and the excuses he’d made, shrugging sheepishly in response.
"Oh. My bad."
The corner of your lips tugs upwards into a slight smile. At least he has the common decency to admit it.
"Could you untie me, though? It's getting a little uncomfortable." He voices out, fingers still trying to wriggle free.
"Sure, but I'll need something in exchange."
He sighs. Of course, you did. People always wanted something from him as Spiderman, be it a photo or to gain clout.
"What is it?" He's wary now.
You grin, hands closing the sketchbook with a loud snap as you place your pencil on your chair, getting up.
"That's easy," You walk towards him with ease, eyes filled with certainty. You're inches away from his upside-down figure, leaning in slightly until your lips are next to where his ear would be under the mask.
"Be my model, Miles Morales.”
He stills at the mention of his name. “Wh-what? I don’t know who this Miles guy is, but I’m obviously not him.” He laughs nervously, shaking his head.
You can practically see the waves of panic flooding through his mind. “You just changed the pitch of your voice,” You point out casually instead, leaning back against the wall with a smirk, your hands in your pockets.
“I’m telling you, I’m not this Miles guy you think I am. Though I’m very sure he may be cool enough to be Spiderman, I am not him.” He almost trips over his words, flinching when you move your hand close to his mask.
“Then I guess you won’t mind if I take this off?” You hum, spotting him trying to use his electric powers to break free. “Don’t bother. The strings are made out of insulated material.”
He flinches away from your fingers brushing against the side of his face, his eyes meeting yours and knowing he’s already lost this battle. “Fine.” He surrenders, his eyes narrowed into a hostile glare directed at you.
“Don’t be like that,” You chide, sitting cross-legged in front of him with a disapproving shake of your head. “Besides, I’m just here to make a deal with you.”
“Is this about the model thing?”
“Yeap,” You confirm, popping the ‘p’. “Here’s all I’m asking. Let me meet up with you twice a week. I’ll even pay you ten bucks per session. All you gotta do is sit there.” The intensity of his glare lessens somewhat, though you can still sense his wariness. Makes sense, though, considering you’ve just essentially ensured he can’t say no. Besides, your terms and conditions aren’t half bad either.
You wait patiently for his response, giving him time to mull over it.
“Deal. Now let me go.”
“Uh-uh, not just yet,” You tut, moving over to your bag, grabbing the makeshift contract you drafted last night, and showing it to him with a triumphant grin. “I even added two different lines for both of your signatures. Spiderman’s and Miles Morales.”
He rolls his eyes, and you take that as a good sign, cutting him loose. He falls gracefully to the floor, landing in a perfect superhero pose. You applaud, giving yourself a mental pat on the back for staying calm throughout the entire exchange. He takes the pen you hand to him, scrawling his name on the dotted line. You smile widely and keep the contract back in your bag, practically on cloud nine with this accomplishment.
Unfortunately, the euphoria makes you forget you’re still in a cramped storeroom.
Wincing when your elbow knocks against a loosely stacked box, you and Spiderman watch it slowly topple on its side, landing on the floor with a loud bang before looking at each other with wide eyes.
Okay, so maybe you don’t got this as much as you thought.
You freeze when the door opens, looking behind you to see Mr Perez with his hand on the doorknob. His eyes flit from you to Spiderman, his gaze settling on the open box on the ground with vegetables spilling out of it before looking back at you with furrowed brows.
As soon as your eyes meet, you smile sheepishly.
“I’ll babysit on Friday.”
— — — — — — —
taglist: (definitely not because I forgot I said I'd tag people lol)
@oh-kurva @brunnetteiwik @queerponcho @sleepingnova @1theestallionyas
#spiderman: into the spiderverse#Into The Spiderverse#miles morales#miles morales x reader#miles morales x y/n#miles morales x you#into the spiderverse x reader#spiderman: into the spiderverse x reader
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My beautiful child! PT.1
Summary: Mile’s has a younger sibling who isn’t…human to say. Their a demon who cannot go into the sunlight,his parents knows and make them do online school. When he an his siblings go to a place where all the spider people are at…they decided they want a new child and Y/N is perfect material for them!
TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship,abusive behavior,abusive relationship,Reader is Nezuko,Reader is Miles’s younger sibling,Reader can talk they just make Miles say stuff or make him translate their muffled words,very out of character characters,this is a series,Reader wears the same muzzle as Nezuko,Reader is not a spider-person,Reader wears skirts and oversized hoodies with leggings because they can get hurt by the sun touching their skin but they still have no gender,The whole family knows about Reader being a demon and having to wear clothes to not allow the sun to touch them,people might be out of character,tell me if I need to add more
PT.2
Currently your sitting with your brother patting his head with your hand covered by your sleeve. He just chuckled even if he was tired you always made him happy. Just not to long ago you and your brother was cashed down by so many people and now here you to are hiding from them all until you two find a way back home. Miles held you close to his chest sorta scared and trying to protect you from everyone as your his little sibling, he’s got to protect you!
You just smiled or the best you could with your muzzle on as it stops you from biting people. You knew your brother was Spider-Man as you watched him get bit as you go everywhere with him or almost everywhere. Miles sighed a bit sad as he looked down at you, you were oblivious to much things but this place isn’t where neither of you need to be. “I promise Y/N, I’ll get us home, you can trust me with that. We’ll see mom and dad again, we’ll even visit uncle Aaron’s grave again when we get back home.” “Mmmmmhm!” “Yes yes I’ll get you your favorite dessert as well!” “Mmmhmmm!” Miles chuckled at your muffled happiness, he learnt how to understand you.
Soon Gwen and Peter B found you to, Miles put you behind him as he didn’t want you to get hurt. You were confused so you peaked from behind him. “Miles we just wanna talk” “Hell no! Me and Y/N are stuck here trying to go home and you wanna talk!? That’s bullshit!” It was obvious Miles was more pissed then ever since they got you involved with this mess. Peter B sighed while Mayday giggled and escaped her baby capture thingy as she crawled to you. “Look kid, we didn’t know that was going to happen” “And you just let him chase me!? No not just me, chase me and Y/N!? We shouldn’t be here that’s obvious but yet no one wants us to leave!”
Gwen watched as you and mayday played with each other, it was cute. She always found you a bit cute because you followed Miles like a loss puppy and your clothes just added more personality to you. Miles sighed. “Why do we gotta be here? We didn’t do anything wrong…” looking at your brother you Pat his head again and mayday copied you making Miles chuckle. “Your good with kids Y/N” you just nodded at Peter B’s words, what was there to say to him? It was obvious this was gonna be a long day and week so your ready to have your trust broken by many people soon.
#yandere#please don’t do this#obession#unhealthy#platonic yandere#yandere platonic#x gn reader#gn reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere x gender neutral reader#gender neutral y/n#gender neutral reader#yandere spider man across the spider verse#yandere spiderverse#part 1 of many#My beautiful child series
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tw; yandere, forced captivity, isolation | masterlist
unedited | 669 words
I would like to suggest, high school boyfriend yandere.
He starts off as this loyal soft boyfriend that asks you out after class. Maybe you’re the one that asks him out even, he’s over the moon regardless when you start dating. He’s the type to never forget anything you tell him and look like a lost puppy every time you have to leave him to do something else.
Then he starts taking up more of your time, suddenly you aren’t free to hang out with your other friends. Can’t go out because you’ve got a date with him and you just hate how dejected he looks when you have to cancel at the last minute. Your friends stop asking you to join them after the tenth time this happens.
You’d get whiplash with some yanderes where one day you’re out and about and the next you’re suddenly kidnapped in his 14 room mansion in the middle of the woods. But not this one, he develops slowly, you’re his first and probably last lover. He’s still young and impressionable so a combination of his surroundings and probably traumas that have built up to this point lead him to spiral. Next thing you know you’re sharing an apartment and going to the same uni, maybe you’re studying different majors but his classes are scheduled at the same times as yours aside from a few minor ones that just couldn’t be changed. In the end all you’ll be left with is him. He’s just so nice to you, if anything you’re the one that should be afraid of him leaving you knowing how popular he is but seeing how he spends every moment outside of class with you gives you some solace.
Almost conditions you to be as possessive as him. He learnt all of your likes and dislikes, he doesn’t argue with you and always has a soft tone, you don’t have any friends to begin with but slowly you find yourself disliking other people's presence. They don’t treat you like he does, they could have ulterior motives or might be using you but you don’t have to worry about that with him, he’s not like that. You’ve heard of cheating stories in the past but he doesn’t have anything to hide, you’ve never given him reason to, he’ll go to any lengths to assure you of this.
The few times you do talk to other people they always fawn over how cute you two look together, even your family loves him. No one is surprised when you two get married.Maybe the only grievance you have with him is how he doesn’t let you work, assures you that he’ll make enough to provide for you, in just a few years he’ll make enough so that you don’t even have to look at the cost of something before buying it, just stay comfortably at home. But you don’t think of it much after you get pregnant, it's better to stay at home when you’re expecting.
But sometimes it just can’t be helped, no matter how perfect he is, sometimes you just fall out of love, crave to experience things outside of the rose tinted world he’s made for you. That’s when his cracks really start to show. He’s not used to seeing you like this, to going against him like that, you’ve always been so compliant that he started feeling complacent. This is when you see the side of him he’s hid so well, the one that suddenly decides to relocate far out in the countryside, the one that gives you no reason to leave the house. He just works from home now (he took this into consideration when choosing a major). If you need anything it can just be ordered online, but even that’s monitored, your own phone is nowhere to be seen.
You’ve never had anything other than him but back then it was your own choice, foolish as it may have been but now, he’s left you with no other option but him.
#yandere#yandere character#yandere x reader#oc#original character#yandere oc#yandere blog#yandere male#dark fic#yandere scenario#dark romance#x reader#yandere oc x reader#yandere original character#scenario#yandere original character x reader#yandere highschool#highschool au
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Hello! Do you happen to know any good resources for learning Finnish? As basic as possible, I literally started on Duolingo half an hour ago:) I know, I know, I'm a poser for learning Finnish *after* Käärijä, but the language sounds soooo interesting (although I've heard the grammar is quite difficult...). Thank you in advance and also love your blog:)))))
Hi!! So very very ecstatic that you've decided to learn Finnish! No reason to feel ashamed that you'd only start after Käärijä... believe me, in Finland people are just altogether very taken if a foreigner wants to learn Finnish, no matter the reason. (And all reasons for learning a language are good!) (And we're SO SO PROUD of Käärijä, he's done a monumental job of bringing our language to the public eye more than ANYONE ELSE BEFORE so, yup! He's a VERY good reason to start learning Finnish!!)
I'm not sure if I'm the right person to point you towards any resources... But I tried finding some for you! I've checked out the Duolingo course and it's a good place to begin! Here's also a drive folder that has some Finnish language books as PDFs.
Also here's a page for beginner's Finnish from our national news media Yle (it's like our version of BBC).
Here is a "picture book" kind of a page for learning names for objects, good to start with!
Here's an online course for beginners! This has grammar too, and links for further reading and studying.
Finnish is also notorious for having it's written language differ drastically from how people actually speak. We don't have accents per se, but dialects instead, which don't just affect the way we pronounce words (=accents, as in English) but the way we form them. So for example, the written Finnish "I am" is "minä olen", but in spoken Finnish it can become e.g. "mä oon", "mää oon", "mie oon", depending on where you live (and there might be some more variations as well but these are the most common ones.) Many foreigners find themselves in a spot where they can read and understand written Finnish pretty well, then the moment a Finnish person opens their mouth it's a bloodbath. But don't let it deter you! And Finnish people are more than happy to switch to written Finnish if you don't understand them. I found this website for learning the basics for spoken Finnish!
A good place is also good ole Youtube! Just type in "Finnish for beginners" and you're set to go!
Finnish is a difficult language to learn because of the grammar and lack of prepositions if your language has them... but look at it this way, I struggle with them in any language that uses them cos I haven't grown up using them. I still occasionally mess up with in/on or for/to (it's even worse with French and Swedish). Doesn't stop me from writing 100k fics in English apparently!
Welcome to learning Finnish! Remember that the most important thing is to learn the swear words, you'll go far with those. Just drop in a perkele and it's always the right thing to say haha.
Jokes aside, I'm very happy to hear this! Finnish is a very beautiful language and a very inventive one as well, which allows for more word play and creativity with the language than, say, English for example. And while Finnish is difficult, you'll find that once you've learnt the rules, there are no exceptions to them or the kind of hassle with the grammar as there is to English or French. I've known exchange students who've learnt near perfect Finnish in less than a year!
If anyone knows and wants to add more good resources here, go ahead!
#suomi#finland#finnish#eurovision#käärijä#i was so glad to receive this ask!!#i hope you have a good time learning finnish#welcome to the party it's crazy <3#also check out spotify lists of finnish songs! you might find some artists you like#bless you nonnie!!#anonymous#answered
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can we talk about virgin bakugou? 👉👈 my brain is rotting imagining a 30 year old pro hero bakugou still being completely new to sex (and serious relationships in general maybe?)
idk i guess think it’s cute imagining him doing all of this extensive “research” online about how to pleasure you? because he’s gotta be the best at everything and all that
This is literally like my constant😂😭 a friend a while ago wrote a fic about Bakugou being terrible at sex and having to like dumb down what to do to please you because he didn’t have a clue and I will die on this hill that he’s like that at first.
Like he’s so used to being naturally good at everything he tries, but this is on a whole other level. Because he knows he needs to learn, but how can he focus on learning when you look so pretty beneath him— not to mention the sounds.
You end up asking him one evening months into your relationship why you’ve never gone any further than kissing and dry humping. Worried that he might not be into you like you are with him and that’s the final straw for him.
He’s determined not to look stupid around you, he doesn’t want to fuck things up. So he’s scouring the internet for information about positions, g-spots and how to find the clit. Surprised at just how little he’s really learnt from those porn videos he used to watch as a randy teenager.
But there’s so much conflicting information online, and everyone’s got a fucking opinion he doesn’t even know where to start?
And finally one evening when he sees how dejected you are when he pulls away from your heavy petting and you think it’s because he doesn’t like you (when really you’re about to make him cum in his pants), he finally works up enough courage to tell you the real reason he hasn’t tried to take it further yet.
And instead of you shying away, or making fun of him for still being a virgin into his thirties— you’re giving him the most sultry look as you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders to tell him that you can learn together.
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E42 Miles Morales x Black!Fem!Reader! - Across the Multiverse (might change it)
A/n : Soo, this is my first time publishing any of my writings online, although intended to be a oneshot, if all goes well a part two may come by. Feel free to give suggestions, requests, feedback. Next part here
Warnings : cheating/ profanity, miles (1610) cheating, angst, cursing (only 2 words I think) , implied sexual assault,GWILES,, (not very detailed) harm done to reader
Reader = blue, Miles (1610) = red, Gwen = pink, others = white, may get a colour though
Genre : Angst(?)
I am in no way, shape or form trying to villainize Gwen, everything is just for plot in fact I love Gwiles. My only point of interest is Miles G.
𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓭𝓾𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷| Every Saturday, my boyfriend -and Brooklyn's infamous Spider-Man- Miles Morales, would sit down and tell me the tea in the Spider-society. I've learnt about his encounters with other spider-people across the spider-verse and his relations with them. It was a silly little tradition but I loved it.
"Yea, so basically, the multiverse is a collection of all the universes there are, including this one. And that cow..villain thing, called The Spot has holes that can drag you anywhere across the multiverse or somewhere different in this one. I'll make sure to beat his ass next time he comes though so I can protect you from it"
I threw the pillow supporting my elbows at him, he webbed it to the wall "Corny ass"
He got up from his seat around the desk walking over to my place on the bed hovering over my frame.
"I don't care if I'm corny, I'll protect and love you in every universe there is, including this one"
We started giggling like little kids as the gap between our bodies closed in, he cradled my face in his hands before our lips met. We froze in the moment for about ten seconds before pulling back.
"I love you so, so much , and I don't ever want you to ever forget that."
He was clingy at times, but oh so adorable
"Ofcourse I know, you like to tell me everyday"
"And I'll never stop telling you"
He pecked my cheek. My hand rested onto his, caressing it
For about what seemed like hours but was just a few seconds we stared into the other's eyes, pure love and admiration in each set.
Who wouldn't fall in love again if someone looked at them like that?
"Even after two years I feel like I still have a crush on you-...Uahhh"
Taking a moment to process the events, Miles launched onto her
I held onto Miles as everything in the room including us started to levitate. He was more confused than scared since he's used to wierd stuff being Spider-Man and all. What shocked him was the blue.. portal thing that opened up in the ceiling. As it spread more, everything returned to it's position. From it a girl with blond, shoulder length hair and a right side-cut floated down on the bed beside us.
"Gwanda!, I missed you so much" huh?
"I missed you too Miles"
I stared at them blankly, separating themselves off each other, he cleared his throat.
"Y/n, this is Gwen, Gwen this is my girlfriend, y/n"
I awkwardly waved to her, to which she did back with almost the same energy. It was like looking at an inverted version of myself. My skin was a medium ebony, hers a snow white, I had coily 4c hair, her's was wavy, not to mention our clothing styles. Polar opposites.
"So why'd you call her Gwanda, and she like that?"
"It's an inside joke, you wouldn't get it"
Confused wasn't even the word for me right now. Miles scratched the back of his head, a nervous tactic of his
I shook my head to his statement. The silence got a bit awkward before she decided to break the ice
"Soo, how's everything since I left?"
Not wanting to disrupt their convo, I started scrolling through my feed
"The worst obviously"
I raised my eyebrows in shock at his confession. "obviously" What's that to mean? I had to bite at the inside of my cheek to stop myself from doing or saying anything irrational. I allowed myself to step out their convo, aimlessly browsing through social media, my focus was deep into my phone. However, my head swiftly moved when I heard their last few sentences
"Let's go patrolling, we still have a lot of catching up to do" Gwen's eyes widened, her blue irises scaring me a bit, they looked quite uncanny
"Does she know that you're-"
"Yeah, she does. You can trust her" Not sure if I can trust you or her right now.
"In that case, yeah, I'd like that"
My face stained with an inquisitive expression, both tones sounded a little too.. flirtatious for my liking, what exactly was so secretive that they had to talk it out in the city? I looked up at both persons as they put their suits on, waiting to see if neither would acknowledge my existence. Nope, they just got suited up and.. left. If there's a word to describe something to be more invisible than invisible then that was definitely how I felt. Not even my boyfriend could say goodbye.. humph
"It can't be that bad, they're just catching up.. yeah"
Trying every and anything to convince myself, I took up my belongings, letting myself outside his room then house. At first, I called out to his parents - "Mama Rio, Tio Jeff?" - hearing no response I left, locking the door using the key I got from Tiá Rio as a reminder that - I'm always welcome - I smiled at the memory.
I tried walking around the city to clear my mind, about halfway through my walk I saw two familiar suits gliding and having their best time in the sky, moving along the roofs of houses. That's some patrolling
"This is going to end badly isn't it?... Maybe I'm thinking of the worst, he loves me. He wouldn't replace me like that right?" Wrong.
Mood ruined, I cut my time short and headed straight home. Unlocking the door, I took my shoes off placing the beside the table. I would usually call out to my parents but they were away on a business trip. After getting some food, I took myself up to my bedroom. Taking a shower and changing into silk shorts and an oversized shirt (sleep clothes). But before heading to the bed I sat around my desk, admiring fairy lights adorned with pictures of Miles and I.. my boyfriend and I. I looked out my window only to see the two leaned against each other, back faced to my vision.
For the next few days it was all about Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. I felt as if he was dating her
"Wanna go on a date? Just you and me, it'd be fun" "Sorry I'm already with Gwen"
"Bonito, do you still want to go for ice-cream?" "Sorry princess, drawing with Gwen. Can you pick some up though? She loves vanilla."
"Can you buy that plush for me? I'll pay you back." "Sorry, spent all my money on Gwen"
(time-skip)
I tried so. so hard to keep positive, but I just couldn't. I changed, now it was gaslighting myself from crying to crying. "How's this even fair, he's supposed to be my boyfriend.. who is he even dating now" I felt like trash, disposable, he made me feel disposable. I thought I'd have to die before I see this era come. Clearly, I underestimated fate. I felt replaceable, disposable, and, jealous. I had completely let myself go, my eyes were always puffy, hair more tangled than usual, I looked a mess. I finally decided to talk with him, knowing this talk would only end one of two ways: good or bad.
I fixed myself up, it didn't take much really, I combed my hair, putting it in a nice high puff. Wore some cute clothes and that was it. Call me a narcissist, but I knew I was always pretty (bad lil bitch). I stared at my reflection in the mirror, smiling as I admired my features, taking a couple pics too , I finally headed out. My parents were out on another business trip, they always are, giving me another reason to visit the Morales - to visit my second family-.
Arriving at their residence, I knocked to acknowledge the presence of anyone that may be in the house. Miles' mother opened the door
"Tiá Rio! It's so good to see you" she pulled me into a hug before pulling back, both of us smiling
"Likewise mija.. oh dear, what happened? Your face is all sad-looking and-"
Your son is what happened
"it's nothing mama, I've just been tired, that's all"
It warmed my heart at how much she seemed to care for me, assuming she was referring to my puffy eyes I lied. - well that's one thing you can't rid in a day - whilst listening to me, she gestured for me to get inside, closing the door behind me as I took my shoes off
"If it's that boy stressing you out, I'll beat him for you, just let me know" I laughed at her suggestion
"No mama, it's not him, thank you for the offer though" I was still chuckling, then she joined in
"Anything for you. I'll get going though, I have something on the stove to attend to" I shook yes, heading towards his room
"Leave a plate for me?"
"Always " I smiled as I turned focus to Miles' bedroom door. I went in deciding to not knock
I don't even know if I wished I did or not. The scene behind the door was heartbreaking, but I couldn't look away. There he was.. my "boyfriend" kissing Gwen Stacy. He was looking at her with those eyes, the eyes of love he used to look at me with. Both of them looked at me like they've seen a ghost. The expression wasn't too far off, they did make me feel like a ghost, invisible. I shook away any tears starting to form, but my eyelids were like a broken dam, no way or use in controlling it. If anything, I wanted him to see how I felt, to see how much he hurt me, to feel guilt, sadness, anything.
"Cielo, don't cry. It's not what it looks like"
"How long ?" He started to stutter. "How long Miles?"
"2 weeks, listen.. please. We were caught up in a moment and we just-"
"Do you think that's helping?" I felt my words ball up, stuck in my throat, my stomach continuously dropping. It's as if I could feel the sadness in my body. I didn't like it
"No.." I looked over his shoulder, looking at Gwen as she turned her face away, his sweater and other belongings on her
"What happened to protecting and loving me in every universe? In this universe Miles. I don't care about any other universe, you had one job to do. Is loving me harder than being Spider-Man?" I shook my head side to side in disbelief
"Princessa-" Gwen hummed a timid response. Un-fucking-believeable
"Do not call me that, there's your princessa" I pointed over to Gwen that had her sweater still stuck over her body. The air quotes from myself added to the comedic effect and subtracted from the restraint I had to not laugh
I made a run for it when he turned his head in the direction of my finger before I broke down. I couldn't let him see me like this. I ran to the door, shoes in hand as I searched for my keys, unlocking it. Talking to Miles' mother in between quiet sobs as she rushed behind me, "I'm sorry tiá" I finally made my way onto the streets of Brooklyn running somewhere, anywhere far from their house. Once settled I tried putting on my shoes, who knew that such a simple task was hard when crying ?
Rio's p.o.v
What the hell is going on, more importantly, why is (y/n) crying. I looked up in the direction of Miles' room to see him run forward to the door, a girl that was definitely not her behind him, her lipstick smudged. What the actual- she looks old enough to vote ?! I stood in my position, putting 2 and 2 together.
"Miles Gonzalo Morales. Get. Here. Now."
(Y/n) p.o.v
Still, I was wandering around the city, just something I do to blow off steam. - The hell? - it's kinda wierd to see Brooklyn this empty, especially on a Saturday evening. I continued walking until I saw the reason for the lack of people, The Spot.
Could this day get any worse? I sighed, Yes unfortunately, mentally, I answered my question as I tried running opposite from the creature, my attempts to escape failed as it stretched it's hands to engulf me in its nothingness. As it took me in, I saw holes that spread randomly, seemingly having no start nor end.
I knew what they led into -a new universe-, but not where. Knowing there was no going back, I decided to leap into a random hole, accepting whatever fate it throws to me. Before making my decision, a hole randomly spawned underneath my legs, bringing me into any universe it leads to.
It was a hard fall to say the least but I got up. I landed in...Brooklyn? It was nothing like my Brooklyn but, sure it was pretty. The place was littered with multiple shades of dark purple and other hues, a black tint being evident on the atmosphere. Having nothing else to do, I did what I know best, wander. For about 10 minutes my eyes never left the buildings, neon signs or billboards, it was chaotic...but in a harmonious way. I was now more amused than scared. Then my thoughts hit me like a train
"Where will I stay?"
"Wouldn't I already live here?, I could be dead. SHIT I COULD BE DEAD"
"what should I do now?"
Lost in my own thoughts, I didn't seem to acknowledge the group of men (3) that stood, cat-calling me. I decided to ignore their existence, walking briskly
"Hey doll, come here. I don't bite"
"What's a pretty girl like you doing here?"
With their words slurred, I could only assume they were drunk, plugging my ears with my fingers.
"ohh, so you think you're better than us now?" The third man stated
"bitch"
I blame Miles Morales of earth 1610 for this
They started to run after me, I started to run from them. To make the situation worse on my part, before arming myself with even a rusty nail, one of the men held on my arm, forcefully dragging me into an alleyway and throwing my body against the wall. One thing happened after another, now they started to beat and bruise my body anyway and where they could. Whether it was by throwing glass at my face, kicking my chest, slapping my face, throwing my head back into the wall, stomping on my body they didn't stop. They stopped when I was at my weakest, my mouth was bleeding, slap marks imprinted on my face, glass shards in and around my body, blood dripping at a slow rate from my head, most of it got soaked up in my hair, making the coils look more like curls. They did all this while letting out a few remarks on their minds.
"That's what you get for resisting, you had a choice y'know"
"Think you're better than the rest of us huh?"
"cry all you want, there's no one here to save you"
Spitting out blood, and wiping my mouth with my sleeve I begged for some forgiveness - "Please" "Let me go" -
"Hmm, you see. I really can't do that doll but you can get something else"
"what?"
The man's mouth distorted into a smug smile before he tore my jacket in half from the seams. I tried to cover my chest with the hand covered in blood as the other men laughed. He tore away my hand, slamming my head once more into the wall. Hard. Getting rid of any consciousness I may have had left. I silently cried as I felt my soul slip from my body.
My eyes started to shut , vision doubling as I heard the sound of metal scraping against the wall, faint screams came from infront me, my body getting weak. I heard men shouting, slicing, punching, and, the splatter of something that heavily fell on my face and clothes. Finally, I felt the hand that had intentions of violating my body fall, its owner seemingly dropping to the floor.
Forcing myself to open my eyes I saw a suit with colours of purple and black step towards me, lifting my body up.
"It's all good now. You'll be fine" The voice sounded almost mechanical behind the mask, the demeanour of the wearer gradually softening as he reassured me. I closed my eyes trusting the stranger with my life. I can trust him afterall..right?
#earth 42 miles morales x reader#miles morales#earth 42 miles x you#earth 42 miles morales x black!reader#earth 42 miles x reader#earth 42 miles fluff#across the spiderverse#spiderman#black writers#black tumblr#black reader#yn#miles molares#light angst#angst#fluff#fsnfics#fanfic#Spotify
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This probably is not the best place to come to for advice (stranger asking help from another online stranger) but there is not anyone I know personally who I can ask. Also I have followed your blog for some time now and it is one of my favourites.
Now my problem is that there is a dom I have begun talking to quite frequently here on Tumblr. And when I say talk I mean sexting. I love sexting with him but sometimes I feel very bad afterwards, usually when it is a more "hard-core" session. It is not because I do not enjoy what we are doing or what he is making me do. But, we do not talk outside of the sexting and sometimes it feels very abrupt when we do and say all those things and then I just go back to my day. I find it difficult for me to simply switch out of the sub mindset I am in. I have gotten into BDSM/kink quite recently so I am not the most experienced. But I think one of the things I have learnt is that aftercare is the most important thing. The problem is that it feels strange to ask for aftercare just for sexting. I do not want to seem clingy especially since we are not in a relationship at all and we are not trying to be in one either. But I do feel very bad after our sexting sometimes and I do not know what to do. Is it normal to ask for aftercare after sexting? It seems to me it is not. But is it not natural to need help cooling down after being called the most disgusting things and doing the most disgusting things (all of this is consensual of course and I do enjoy it) even if it is done over messages? I am very uncertain. I would appreciate any advice you have. Sorry for saying so much, I know this is very long. Also I am sorry if my English is bad but it is not my first language.
I’m going to step a bit out of character and be more sincere here. I’m not saying the man you’re talking to is a bad person, but they’re failing you. Asking for aftercare is totally reasonable, indeed he should be offering it. If you continue engaging with this person, be clear about this.
The dissonance you’re feeling is totally normal, and I think you should tread carefully. Some people might enjoy being used and discarded like this: effectively you’re in an online free use dynamic. But just like a real life free use dynamic, it’s important to discuss the expectations, boundaries, and aftercare.
I’m worried about you that you’re unable to express this to this person, and that your support option is an anonymous ask to another tumblr. In BDSM, including online, you need to be able to express your needs firmly.
Also, your English is basically perfect!
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I want to get into coding but I’m scared about working for a company and talking to people lol and I don’t think I’m creative enough. what do meetings and the job consist of? i have this assumption in the back of my mind like “what more is there to say/do other than code a website?” haha hope this is ok to ask! it’s super vague tbh I can’t find anything that touches base to a specific level enough online.
also, I’m not a math genius… very insecure about that since high/middle school. do I still have a chance? how does math go into coding?
Hiya! 💗
I completely understand how you feel because I felt the exact same thing when I started working at my current workplace.
Working for a company
Many coding jobs do require collaboration and communication with others. However, it's important to remember that not all coding roles involve extensive social interaction. There are positions where you can work independently or have limited interaction with colleagues.
In my case, I work in the office Monday and Friday. Mondays are when everyone in the whole IT Department is in, except those who are off or on holiday etc. This is what I do:
I walk in
sit at my desk near the window
headphones in
log in
code - occasionally turn around and annoy the Lead Web Developer with cries because my code isn't working (he then solves it in 10 seconds...)
At around 2:30pm is an IT meeting in the conference room. What do we discuss?
IT manager discusses any updates as an IT department as a whole. Any concerns about the technology used in the company. Any bootcamps we need to do internally, how was everyone's holidays, a little gossip.
Then everyone takes turns and discuss what they did the past week
That's it.
That's my company but I assume it's something similar for other companies. It's also important to know not everyone in the IT Department are web developers or work on building websites, not even in the sub-department Dev Team. Our Dev team are 6 members and only 2 (me and the Lead Web Developer) are web developers, so work on the company's websites. The other guys are very script-building and database oriented. All I do is code websites.
Maths in coding
Depends on what you're coding. I work with websites, I use Year 11/Grade 10 level of maths - it's not hard. As a reference, I stopped learning maths as a subject at school at a Year 13/12th Grade level and the stuff I'm using is way easier than what I learnt last - stuff my little sister, who's 14, can understand.
I chose web development because of the little maths. Some people have told me "Oh you'll encounter it one day" - I still haven't after 2 years. I use C# and JavaScript at work and still do very little maths. Maybe loops? I know if you're going to study computer science at university you will have to learn a good amount of maths, definitely harder than what I use!
Here is a list of the maths I use daily, that I can think of:
Arithmetic
Algebra
Logic and Boolean Algebra
Basic Algorithms
That's it. Maybe if I learnt the maths need in programming to the max, it might make my life easier when I am working on my personal projects, but my life is already easy with the little maths I know so I'm good for now.
Designing websites is less maths-y and more... designing in my opinion and experience. "I drew out this design for the website... how do I do I code that?" literally me every time I start a project.
Again, other fields in Computer Science would require more maths knowledge so research that field you want o go into and Google/ChatGPT "What maths is needed in [field name]?"
Hope this helps, my advice may not be the best since coming from a web dev point of view but it's still advice! Good luck 😎🙌🏾💗
#my asks#codeblr#coding#programming#progblr#studyblr#studying#comp sci#tech#coding advice#career advice post
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Part 3: No Disappointment Without Expectations
“If I expect nothing, I won’t be disappointed.”
This is not a quote from the book. Worded precisely like this, it might not be a quote from anywhere, but it’s a mentality and approach to life that I’ve encountered several times in different forms of media. It’s a coping mechanism, a way to ward yourself against a life and a world that keeps letting you down. It’s a wall built around a heart that has taken one blow too many.
It is what Young does. He has learnt not to expect things, not to let things get too close, and the more we see of him, the more we learn about his life, the clearer it becomes. He has learnt to never expect his mother to see him, understand him, accept him or apologise to him. He has learnt to never expect anyone to stick around, because they all find their own lives without him in the end (which, naturally, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy). He has learnt to never take things too seriously, to never take it to heart, to smile and laugh off even the most serious matters - because anything else would hurt too much.
When he does expect things, when hope starts to creep forwards, he often doesn’t realise it until it’s too late to fight for it, too late to hold on to it, too late to do anything but withdraw behind the wall and put up a smile - because K3 dies, Jaehee gets married, and Gyu-ho leaves for Shanghai. K3 is an abrupt end, Jaehee a slow break up and Gyu-ho gets pushed away.
It’s easier not to expect anything, because then he won’t be disappointed.
It’s easier not to feel anything, because then he won’t get hurt.
That is why, when Young finds out he is HIV positive, his coping mechanism is to normalise it to himself.
“But you know, what more is there to it? There’s medicine for it. I decided to pretend I was taking a vitamin every morning for the rest of my life.”
I am writing this sitting between @stuffnonsenseandotherthings post about stigma, discrimination and lack of understanding in Korea and @wen-kexing-apologist post about HIV treatments that can afford people a largely normal life in spite of the disease. Reading the two posts back to back, a few things got caught in my brain that keep clanging against each other like loose pieces of metal.
There are treatments. There is help to get. You can live a normal, full life with HIV. Perhaps Young did not have to pass up on all those opportunities and a continued future with Gyu-ho at all.
Young survives through avoidance. He doesn’t tackle anything too serious head on. Life has taught him not to, and so he applies the same coping mechanism to his diagnosis.
The perception of HIV in Korea is bad. Really bad. Coupled with that, the general understanding and knowledge about the disease is very low. People simply do not know enough.
Young’s experiences with healthcare have been terrible. We don’t get to see him interact with doctors regarding his HIV treatment, but we can assume that he is generally distrustful of healthcare professionals.
All these pieces clanging together lead me to one question; Does Young know?
Does he know about PrEP? Does he know that, should he take his meds correctly, the blood tests he keeps avoiding might not even pick up on the fact that he’s HIV positive? Does he talk with his doctors about these things? Does he research it online? Does he try to look for ways in which he can minimise “Kylie’s” affect on his life?
Probably not.
Why would he, when he’s simply “taking a vitamin every morning”?
For me, that’s what makes part 3 almost as heavy and difficult to read as part 2 - because things don’t have to be so bad, but Young has learnt not to expect anything else, and so he doesn’t try to change things for the better.
For me, that's also why part 3 and 4 are the most important parts of the book - because it's representation. Someone might read it and realise that the situation isn't as hopeless as they first thought. Someone might read it and realise that there's help to get, that there are alternatives. Someone might read it, and it could lead to them taking the steps to change their situation for the better. A whole lot of people might read it, and have their views of HIV challenged, and learn that the way people with HIV are treated is wrong, that things need to change.
For me, that's worth more than anything else in this book.
@lurkingshan tagging you for easier list-making on Sunday
#litbc book club#I'm writing this while home sick with a massive headache#please be patient if it makes no sense#thank you Gyu-ho from U-hauling your way into Young's life#as a reader I needed that#and Young clearly needed it too
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Obey Me x Filipino! Reader part 1 (Lucifer, Mammon, Asmodeus)
Note: Tell me why I haven’t thought of this earlier? Tell me. Tears of themis is taking too long to load so I’m here typing the night away
Warnings: long post ahead, food mentions, religion mentions (not much but yeah)
Masterlist
<Part 2: Leviathan, Satan, Beelzebub, Belphegor>
Lucifer
When he first read your file, he expected a scared religious person to come out of the portal.
He has seen countless screaming religious people thrown in the pits asking why they are being punished even though they are clean and he expected you to be one of those.
Instead you came out of the portal and stood there just waiting for an explanation as to why you were suddenly in a different place.
For a while he is a bit unnerved with your behavior, freely mingling and befriending demons in your path even though you know the consequences of it.
A part of him thinks that you might be on your way to destroying whatever hierarchy Devildom has and the other part of him mentally scolds you for being careless.
The last straw was seeing you having lunch and giving a few lesser demons head pats when they complain about the day. He asked you about why you are not scared of demons and your answer made sense.
“You know Lucifer, some people just come and go to church for their image. You should come to the human world and meet the demons there.”
He knows hypocrites and faced hypocrites but he did not expect hypocrites inside churches.
I have a headcanon that demons feed through sin and this boy is always full because of the Filipino pride. So if he skips dinner, chances are he already ate using sins and will just go for tea instead.
[ps. As a Filipino, the pride thing is cute but it is very annoying. They legit take pride in everything even if it is bad. Philippines get mentioned on a thing online like a react video? Oh Pride to be Pinoy! Did Filipinos get noticed in online news? Oh Proud to be Pinoy. Bleh]
Mammon
Mammon said he is not happy when he was assigned to be your guide but he is screaming internally
Be careful with your wallet because this guy would love to learn about the betting games and might try to run an underground betting game with you
Chicken fighting? Let’s do that next week because Lucifer is not around.
Beetle fighting? Sure, sure let’s schedule it at the back of the RAD because there are tons of students who want to participate.
Spider wrestling? Sure as long as no students will get bit
He might even try to go to human world because he heard that the lottery prize has reached P900m ($16m) and no one won it yet
He’ll find it weird that people gambles at funeral wakes but will not make a comment for it
One time the two of you actually went to the human world and he was torn between confusion and amazement because he learnt that you can bet on different types of lottery. (You and Lucifer had to pull him home at the end because he got so excited)
Asmodeus
This guy thinks he knows romance until he meets you and learn about the hopeless romanticism that runs in Filipino blood
Like Satan, Asmodeus will read about culture and history, mostly for aesthetics at first until he came across the traditional courtships and it all goes down from there
Before he knew about it he had fallen down the rabbit hole. He went from reading about traditional courtship to the fictional Bonifacio’s letter to Oryang to poets like Jose Corazon de Jesus
Oh it’s not finished yet, from literature he went to jump on music. Asmodeus listening to Eraserheads and making a cover of ‘Ang Huling El Bimbo’? Hell, yes.
He might go on his job singing at the Fall with all the songs he learnt like Mundo by IV of Spades, Magbalik by Callalily, and on top of that he might even ask for the other brothers to play with him
Asmodeus will also jump on television drama and this guy is addicted. He’ll prolly love those mistress thingy shows like ‘The Legal wife’, etc.
This guy might go to human world just to binge watch those shows including korean ones
This guy will probably see two demons in love and will just caught the famous line in Florante and Laura and everyone in the vicinity will look at him like, 'wut did the avatar said?'
And that line being 'O pag-ibig 'pag pumasok sa puso nino man, hahamakin ang lahat masunod ka lamang' which roughly translates to 'love when it enters anyone's heart, will go against all odds just to be fulfilled'
Don’t get me started on cliche wattpad stories, this guy has a collection starting from the classics like Diary ng Panget to the whole Jonaxx collection
Going back to the traditional courtship thing, he will not admit it out loud but he wishes that someone will do that to him. Wait..what do you mean harana has a whole ass structure and not just done by singing? TELL HIM MORE.
part 2 soon because I'm a bit too excited to write this.
#obey me x reader#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me fanfic#obey me hc#obey me lucifer#obey me luci x reader#om! shall we date#obey me fandom#obey me mammon#mammon x reader#asmodeus x reader#omswd#omswd mc#om shall we date#obey me mc#obey me swd#obey me brothers#obey me mammon x reader#obey me x gn!reader#obey me x gn!mc#lucifer x gn!reader#asmodeus x gn!reader#obey me imagines#obey me scenarios#obey me headcanons#obey me x mc#obey me fluff#obey me x you#obey me x y/n
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I've been to Korea a few times and lived there for a few months at one time. That country does have a special place in my heart and I love many aspects of it. Outside of the big cities, the nature is beautiful, people are a bit blunt but they're kind and they help you if you need it. They don't expect you as a foreigner to get there and know all their norms and their language (I had the opposite experience in Japan 👀) and they're usually excited as long as you're respectful. However. A lot of guys are extremely aggressive in their advances, they think every non Asian woman who ends up there wants to fuck and they have a hard time understanding NO. If you do go out to the bar/club, you absolutely need to be careful with men (as you would anywhere else bc the world is a nightmare but I find men in SK more aggressive than some other places). The body shaming is very real too nejdiwiw. I'm not fat nor skinny but over there I felt like a whale the whole time 💀 you do need to have thick skin over there and not expect the perfect paradise many k pop fans seem to think they're about to find. Depending on how you approach it, it can be a wonderful time or hell on earth. I wouldn't go live there permanently but I go back every couple of years and I always love my time there.
Hello @escapetheshark and thank you for providing your insights, it is expensive to travel anywhere outside of Australia so I wouldn't be going to South Korea for awhile but my high school had a 'sister school' with South Korea and 5 of our students would go over there.
This was in 2016 and it cost 10K for them to go for 9 days so Idk how much the price would be now.
You seem very worldly lived and are you European? How did you afford to go these places? I suppose airfare might be different if you live closer haha.
I have heard that A LOT online about issues of consent and I don't know if this true, I hope but but I remember reading an article about how if a guy offers to buy you a drink in Japan and you accept, then you're technically giving consent???
I see so many Tiktoks about the experiences women have in Hongdae and Gangnam and the DVD rooms and love hotels.
I've heard SO much about the body shaming and it's kinda scared me not gonna lie, I'm 5'7 and 108 kgs so I just know that none of the clothes would fit me and I'd stand out.
Sorry, I lost focused because I'm rewatching one of Channie's Room lives on Youtube and he was talking about how Aussies barely pronounce anything properly and I was like- He has a point.
I've always wondered how Chris was able to balance the EXTREME differences of South Korean and Australian cultural norms in his life.
The age thing still confuses me because in Australia, if you're a year younger than someone, you are treated the same age and people will say '1 year? That's nothing'.
Whereas in South Korea, you can't be 'friends' with anyone that's not born in the same year as you and that's such a confusing concept for me because even though I was born in '98 and Chris was born in '97, I view both of us as being the same age.
So, it's interesting. I've learnt a lot and It's nice to be expanding my knowledge on different ways of living.
Thank you for sending in your insight!
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grabbing my brain by the shoulders and shaking it LISTEN TO ME BRAIN look at all the things you have to live for
ceramics from robin!! they are in the mail!! i really want to see them
tshirts! also in the mail! including the one that says 'i do not wish to perish today'!!
i want to reread lockwood and co and write fics about it! there's this one specific au i have in mind
literally nobody could make sense of adira's story if I was unable to keep working on it lol there's just too many notes hidden in my brain and this story's GOOD it has POTENTIAL it just needs a lot of work
same with taira! like i have a reasonably clean draft but it needs editing badly (but i'm waiting until im in a better frame of mind in general bc otherwise i will mess it up with depressed stuff)
i'm halfway through my reread of into the silent planet
i want to see ransom grow up into a full sized cat
i want to work as a fully qualified midwife!
i want to see a nicu!
i want to go back to my previous placement place for my next mid placement bc they were so good last time i loved them sm
i want to regain my friendship with the boy! whether or not that's something that will ultimately work idk but both of us want it it's just awkward rn
amira's world tour this year might include australia i don't know yet and wouldn't it be a shame if i missed seeing her live bc if she comes to anywhere in my country i am gonna do everything i can to get to a concert
the sheet music my friend gave me of the music he wrote for me, i haven't learnt to play that yet!
i have three and a half socks promised to my parents that i haven't knitted yet
i have that fidget to crochet that i bought the pattern for a while back
i want to try crocheting another bracelet in a slightly different style that might work better in terms of sitting on my wrist (the one i have is too loose bc it fits over my hand and then sits weirdly, i want to see if i can improve that)
vaniah's story is so incredibly personal to me i know hopefully without hubris that im the only person who can write that story and it would be a terrible shame if it was uncompleted
all the many many stories i have in my brain that nobody else would understand without context
gonna borrow my brother's graphics tablet! and i have that set of artworks on psalm 23 to finish
and also a bunch of other artworks i haven't finished yet
i haven't watched lockwood and co yet!
nor have i read mistborn!
someday i want to meet up with various online friends
i haven't seen my sister for over three years irl and sometime i want to go to her place of residence overseas so i can see her
gonna go see harry potter and the cursed child sometime next month with two of my brothers
i just really want to go to a concert of some kind maybe later this year or start of next year when the mso has free concerts
i want to learn that whole thing Jesus says in the later parts of john, it has some of my favourite verses in it
i need to finish learning hebrews
i need to read the queen's thief! i have wanted to for ages but i've been tending towards not reading or only comfort reads/rereads lately
i have so many pieces of music to finish writing
i have that double-knitting hat to learn how to knit and then knit
all those cds i have to listen to!
i need to sort through my photographs, a great many i haven't even LOOKED AT yet
i have to pursue diagnosis for adhd! imagine never knowing if i had adhd or not
i want to paint my nails at least once just to see what it's like
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Crankcase and cons4eva are both massive monsterfuckers and that’s just so funny to me
Like, if most people were messaging someone online and they didn’t even consider that they might be a different species, and going to meet them, finding out that they were an alien, they’d nope the fuck out
However, crankcase sees cons4eva in person for the first time, and sees what he TRULY looks like and he’s still like, smash
Cybertronians and whatever cons4evas species is are clearly completely different. Very fleshy things with a lot of eyes (I like to think they also have tentacles) is extremely different from big metal guys who’ve got guns built into their bodies and shit are two extremely different things. If you were attracted to either of these as a human, you’d of course be considered a monster/alien/robot fucker. Most species would tbh
And their first time interfacing/fucking would be such a learning opportunity for crankcase, since cons4eva already knew he was talking to cybertronians, he would’ve researched their anatomy and such, but crankcase would be going straight into uncharted territory
Fully convinced that he was talking to a member of his own species, he would be in no way prepared for whatever cons4eva is. Does he have just a spike of just a valve? Does he have both? Neither, maybe? Does he even reproduce sexually? Are their eggs involved? (And of course he wouldn’t know about his hypothetical tentacles)
Crankcase would probably be interested in cons4evas tentacles for the first night (if he has them), and they’d probably play a game or something, like seeing how many tentacles he can take
One that he’s trying his best to deepthroat, another one wrapped around his neck for the sole purpose of teasing him, one either jerking off his spike of slipping into his spike sheath, maybe taking 2 in his valve (they’d just fill him up so good), and another one constantly teasing his node
This cranky dude would be so overstimulated, writing and moan and whimpering around the tentacle in his mouth, being held in place by the one round his neck, and if he got too loud, he’d get a nice little smack on the node
And all throughout this, cons4eva would be telling him how good he’s going and how if he stays quiet for just a little while longer, he’ll let him have the best overload of his life
-Red (short for red alert anon because 1) that’s a pain in the ass to type out and 2) my fixation with him has died down a bit)
Crankcase won the lottery the way i see it. a hot alien wife with tentacles is exactly what he needs. i fucking love bringing back spike sheath fucking, like Cons4eva being a big freak who wants to rock Crankcase's world with all that he has, and what he has is a bunch of thick, fleshy tentacles ready to fuck him until his legs are thrashing. To say Crankcase was unprepared for their first time is an understatement... Cons4eva learnt cybertronian anatomy beforehand, but he still wanted to play... he slides a tentacle dick into Crankcase's spike sheath before the spike can pressurize, keeping it throbbing and poking uselessly against his tendril as he fills his cybertronian with as many tentacles as he possibly can without snapping the inner calipers, drilling into the clusters of nodes on the cable walls without any restraint... There's nothing like the mesh of a pretty, swollen valve clenching around his tentacles in overload, poor Crankcase unable to even move as he's held down by two pairs of strong limbs, his spike aching in its stuffed sheath, oozing transfluid...
#valveplug#A+ work youve managed to make sex between a guy named CrankCase and a guy named CONS 4EVA hot as fuck
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you know, I thought i might of been annoying with the amount of asks i send you, and that still might be true but people apparently love me… so im sticking around 😂 gotta build this aussie anon fandom… buy the merch (its just a tshirt with koala ears on the anon icon and ‘xplr me daddy’ across the shoulder blades)
also absolute fkn ditto to your post abt snc needing a villain era. especially colby. I learnt just the other day that apparently he goes thru this m drama every time he’s snapped with a girl. like every time, for years. that’s gotta be so horrible. like imagine being the constant reason your friends or dates get harassed online just for being around you. you’d feel like poison. i truly hope he finds someone who couldnt give two flying quacks abt that stuff. heck, if it were me (lemme dream, alright) and i knew this wasn’t just a once off thing… i was going to say my acct would be private and i’d have ‘message from strangers’ turned off… but i already have all that… Colby, I’m ready!!! lmao i jk i jk (or do I 👀)
anyway, back to colby fighting in the clubs. you said he’s possessive… im curious about that. like in a protective way over the people he cares about, or actually like “this is my person, back off” type? either way, hella shmexxyy
- aussie anon
omg this is such a long response so i'm sorry in advance lol
haha no you're totally okay to keep sending in asks. no one has a problem with it, especially me :)
and omg an "xplr me daddy" shirt would be hysterical and i'm surprised they haven't done one (even jokingly) before lol
and yes, it's not just girls colby is interested in either. it's EVERY girl - date, friend, stranger - it doesn't matter. if fans can find out who she is, they will send her hate. or at the very least bombard her with questions as to how she knows colby, what's he like, ect. it's honestly very embarrassing to be in this fandom sometimes strictly bc of that type of shit.
i've talked about how i've felt on colby's love life ad nauseum on here, but i don't mind speaking on it more. i genuinely believe this fandom needs a HUGE reality check. bc there are too many ppl in this fandom that believe they have a say in what he does with said love life. and now it's bled over into sam's.
the golden child apparently can do wrong now lol
like on xplrclub, they literally APOLOGIZED (half-heartedly, but still said sorry) for the pics of them with the girls leaking over new years. and that's just fucking bonkers to me. there is no reason two 27 year old men should be saying sorry to a bunch of random girls they have never met before and don't even know exist bc they are going out and having fun and dating. and what makes it worse is snc felt the need to do this. they don't need to explain anything to us, especially about their private lives.
and the amount of fucking fans i saw saying "well if you wanted to have a private life, keep it private. don't post things." and it's like…… idk how many times i have to say this, but SNC ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. them not telling you about a girl they are fucking with is not a betrayal. they don't know you. they couldn't even pick you out of a line up of two ppl. stop thinking your opinion is neccessary, especially when it comes to their personal lives. you aren't owed an explanation. idc if you've been in this fandom for years, given them tons of money, have a fan account dedicated to them on every site, repost their content all the time - NONE of that matters. you are a random person, you are a statistic. a view count. and while yes, snc care about us, that doesn't mean they KNOW you or that your opinion is VALID.
you wouldn't like a random person coming onto your account and bitching at you about your life choices, right? so why do you think snc deserve that? bc they're public figures? NOPE, not a good enough reason. you want to bitch at them about content and the choices they make on that? that's fine. but private, personal shit they do is none of your concern or business.
and i know there are plenty of fucking ppl that will call me a hypocrite bc god forbid i talk about snc's love lives - but reality is i know my opinion isn't worth shit. i'm not coming up into their comments, @ ing them every chance i get, just to give them my two cents. i do my best to keep it light hearted and silly. none of what i talk about is serious or direly needed info. which is also why i do it on a site they aren't privy to. they're not on here. me complaining into the void doesn't effect them. and i'm also extremely aware of the fact that i don't know everything. i don't know the full story, never will, and i'm not OWED it either.
sorry, that was a really long rant. but i'm just…. so done with the fandom rn lol i've been reading ppl complaining for too long about shit they don't deserve to complain about and it's just annoying at this point.
but to bring it back to your ask - i hope colby, and sam too, find a girl that fucking PARADES that she's dating him. of course, with colby or sam's consent. if i was dating one of them, i would rub in these fans' faces, and i mean that wholeheartedly. aww, you're upset i'm fucking your man? TOO BAD WOMP WOMP lmao
and as for colby being possessive, he's said it in some tweets in years' past. he's tweeted out before "Im such a protective, jealous person wow" and "I'm overly protective" followed by someone asking him "so that means if you had a girlfriend you'd protect her a lot" and he replied with "protect her with my life". so, i see him as being a very loyal person, who is protective of the ppl he deems as "his", so to speak.
in a relationship, my guess is that while he's not obsessive or demanding, he is very much like "you are my girlfriend". i don't see him to be the type to say you can't talk to this guy or be friends with these ppl, nothing like that. but he reads to me like the type to keep his arm around you while at the club, that way any guy that sees you know you're taken by him.
also side note, i know as a woman i should be like i'm my own person, i'm no one's but my own, blah blah blah. but a guy that's just a twinge bit possessive is hot. i'm sorry, it's my red flag and i know it is sksksks
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I'm going to write a sad and serious post, so if you are still in the mood to celebrate NY, please skip it and read later.
Doyoung looked happy during the end of year concert, so, touch wood, he wasn't too affected by the MC scandal. I hope he learnt how to withstand and wait out personal attacks by now. He has been an idol for a long time, and had many a trouble.
I was a bit surprised that only 3 people unsubscribed from me in the past days. Either few subscribers read me regularly, or I successfully weed out the weak ones (I have a high subscribe/unsubscribe rate).
I'm not very eloquent with my words. I often come off too harsh and don't deliver my point of view well. I'm coming back to the topic of online virtue-signalling, "do good" pressure, witch-hunting of idols as I need to clarify a few points.
On the first glance it might seem like I'm behaving like a fan who protects one's bias. Actually, I would defend any idol who is accused of things he/she didn't do/that weren't proven. My opposition is to the mob, to the cancelling culture, to the people who use nice pretext to be awful humans. Their power is strong, they crush not only celebreties, but grind in the mix other fans as well. And I want more people to learn how to withstand this type of bullying into complience with the mob's POV.
The masses are often wrong. And a minority often looks like it represents the opinion of the majority, when in reality media and socmed algorythms just favour loud confrontational people and people who earn being "spokepersons". You don't have to pick a side if you don't want to. You don't need and you actually can't have an opinion on every subject. You can and should hear out people you disagree with or who has bad sides to them (like being a homophobe). A person possessing a bad character or view still stays a source of information you can learn from.
You will be pressured by "well-meaning" people into action "for the cause". Not just pressured - bullied. You won't be given a chance to question the cause, its revelance to you, whether there is a point to it, will the associated campaign bring any positive change really. Swear words, accusations of lacking morale, empathy, threats of being cancelled would be thrown at you if you won't comply. So the task is to learn to see through the wall of trigger words and mass histeria, to be able to ask questions and think and decide for oneself.
I didn't follow the Korean fans vs Indonesian fans fanwar. I don't know the specifics. Still, I can comment on absurdity of (some) Indonesians cancelling a Korean idol over a fastfood brand boycott that has little to do with their country. Indoneasia has an ongoing conflict of their own. Papua wants to become independent and is not allowed to. Killing or rebels - check. Denial of self-identification - check. Indonesians from other islands, other ethnicities, coming to the land and using its resources, starting to live there - check (Indonesia populates Papua with other peoples deliberetely, selling of mining and logging rights to foreign companies is rampant). When I went to YT to look for a video on the conflict, I came across the fact that Indonesia has a migrant issue as well. Rohingya refugees, a muslim minority fleeing Myanmar.
It is the truth that athrocities and injustice happen all over the world at the same time. And not only man-made conflicts. Poverty, ilnesses, nature destruction. People suffer and die constantly. People following online mobs that get into a frenzie after media shines light on a particular issue and bully everyone to do the same are hypocritical. The world is big, people in one part of the world deserve peace and to be preoccupied with their mandane lives, celebrate, even if something bad happens in another part of the world.
When Russia-Ukrainian war started I followed it closely. I listened to commentators from both sides and I was watching the videos from the battleground with burnt corpses in tanks, Ukranian drones releasing explosives on the heads of Russian soldiers, child graves dug on playgrounds, leveled to the ground cities (before and after airial photos), as well as humanitarian and volunteer campaigns, etc. I also read comments and observed the wave of hate Russians were getting online from "well-meaning" people. I was stripped off of the ability to use credit cards abroad, ability to enter several European countries, and other issues. It was a very unstable time when everyting changed every day, I was afraid to be locked in Russia like Soviet people were locked in USSR (it's a real concern among Russians, a new iron wall). Back then I constantly switched between reading about the war and writing silly stuff here on this blog. I didn't write about the war not only because I wanted a space to escape to, but also because it was a local problem. Yes, huge, and affecting the whole world (oil, gas, vegetable oil, wheat, more refugees, the disraption of the "peace" in Europe, etc), but still a conflict people in Indonesia, Thailand, India, South America and so on had the right to avert their eyes from.
Right before New Year Russia (nothing sacred for Putin) sent rockets to several large Ukranian cities. You can see Ukranian k-pop cover groups filming dance covers for YT and think that everyrhing has calmed down, that it's only soldiers who fight on the perifery. Well, no. And Ukraine also sent rockets into a Russian town. On both sides civillians died in the buildings during explosions.
Instead of a NY conglaturation, a political oppositioner on YT I watch released a video with information about a couple of people that died. Turned statistics into stories about individual human beings. You can watch it here, it has English subs. The author asked to forgive him for not being in a celebratory mood, so many commented how they too couldn't celebrate the holiday.
The attack angered me, but I didn't dwell on it. I personally did congratulate all my friends with positive words. And I celebrated. War or not war. I want to live. I want my friends to be successful next year despite actually not knowing their onlook on the conflict (I was hesitant to discuss with some). I don't want Putin and his desire to stay in power to ruin more lives than he already has and will continue to do. Certainly not mine. I have my lane, nature conservation. It is as important as other "fields to do good". And to have any positive impact on the world, firstly I need to stay sane and happy myself. And my friends need to stay sane because they will outlive the dictator and be the part of people who will push for democracy.
To sum it up. Don't fall to the mob's pressure on the internet and don't be quick to judge people, cancel them. Don't delegate thinking and decision making to others. Form your own informed opinions. And don't waste your time on trivial things. Fanwars online don't help anything and anyone. It's action in real life that matters. Even if all you do is being kind to your family and people around you, you still do more good than justice-warriers.
Be kind in 2024.
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