kabru is so fucking funny. he’s out here playing 15 dimensional manipulation mind chess with a guy whose hobby is barking like a dog

i always need to pee so badly on the bus... i have no idea why buses do that to me. i never need to pee on the train

I rest my case, your honor

god i have really been craving wine...

the way that tf one megatron has stolen my heart... he was present for one frame. who let him do that

deep in my heart i know tfp optimus is not as socially stunted, emotionless and stone-faced as he is depicted both in the show and by fanon. he only acts like that when he's on the clock. that's his customer service voice. you find him off his shift when everyone's gone to sleep he would not say no if you ask him whether he wants to see something funny. beautiful princess has a wonderful silly laugh i just know it.

Babygirl looking BEAUTIFUL in the trailer... anyway here he is with an IDW flare!

DocBot

Let’s uhhhh let’s combine some concepts, minibot getting stuck in their partners’s valve so long they decide to just stay there forever and when the larger bot gets spiked the minibot ends up getting sparked and eventually having to give birth inside the larger bot’s valve…. Double birth?

Sorry if this is lame or a repeat

“sorry if this lame or repeat” as if you didn't just introduce a bomb ass idea. your mind….

mhmmm A little minibot living inside of their owner’s valve, having to give birth within the constraints of their fluttering, wet calipers. Of course once the sparkling slips out, their owner still has to relax their valve for long enough to let it slip out, which is hard when their beloved minibot is still inside of them and squirming… they basically have to birth the little one out a second time…

it is a double birth, yes.

Rodimus giving birth painfully at the worst time possible and with no help whatsoever.

Its in the middle of battle and he’s in too much pain to move, his tank is painfully stiff and swollen and he’s in so much pain but his fluids haven’t even broken yet and there is so much pressure all he can do is vent heavy and huddle under the shelter hoping the wrong bot doesn’t find him.

Best part about it?

He wasn’t even in this battle.

He was on a civi huddle trying to get to safety because he left after finding out he was sparked.

Sires?

Deadlock and Ratchet who don’t even know.

He’s literally got the worst luck because bombs are falling and soldiers are offlining and bullets are flying in the space he’s in and crawling only did so much his tanks are too heavy on his frame and half his spoilers been blown off while the other half is leaking energon hanging by a thread.

This mech is in serious trouble because he feels his sparklings moving and its making everything worse and the siren for clearing the battlefield sounds and he knows he’s really fragged because that means they send out a large bomb and what do they do?

Drop the largest bomb that caves in his shelter and guess who just so happened to fall in protecting each other?

Deadlock and Ratchet who have no idea he’s behind them as they check each other over and talk quietly so relieved they survived as they mention it’ll take at least two days to remove the rubble so they can escape.

And guess whose frame wracks with pain as their sparkling readjusts and kicks them too hard and makes him fail at stifling an agonized scream thats muffled from him biting into his arm?

Deadlock and Ratchet have the most distressed, out of frame mind zapping shock of their life cycles seeing Rodimus like that.

Your thoughts/the rest?

Ooh poor Rodimus (Hot Rod?)... but he was lucky that a bickering Deadlock and Ratchet ended up in the rubble with him. For a moment they’re too busy fighting and pointing out whose fault it was that they ended up here and how long it’s gonna take them to get out thar they don’t notice that there’s someone still alive in the mess. Hot Rod squealing out as his forge clenches alerts them to his presence very quickly…

When they realize it’s Hot Rod, their shared… friend, they rush to him and no matter how hard he tries to hide his pregnant belly from them, his water finally breaking tips them off. I don’t think they realize they’re the sires at first, but when Ratchet scolds him for not coming to him when he got sparked and Hot Rod tells him he didn’t want to hang a sparkling on his shoulders it clicks.

Deadlock is more stunted. Ratchet knows what to do, but Deadlock does not. I think he only jumps to action once Ratchet orders him to help him get Hot Rod out of the rubble and onto a more comfortable surface. Hot Rod was very lucky to have been found by them. Ratchet can patch him up and help coach him through the birth. He can already see that Roddy’s been straining himself, forcing himself to push when he does not need to. Thankfully his water finally broke and it’s gonna be significantly easier from now… Hot Rod clings to Deadlock as Ratchet helps him coax out the sparkling, scolding him for not telling them, for keeping this to himself, for trying to move through an active war-zone when he knew he’s that far along. Because of all the stress and the fighting still going on outside, Hot Rod has a very hard time giving birth, but at least he can scream into Deadlock’s chest this time around <3

if it’s going to take at least a couple days to clear out the rubble they know they’re in hot water. Hot Rod’s sparkling comes out alive but barely holding on and they don’t have enough fuel for the four of them… Everyone has to pitch in to keep the little one fed, which slows down the progress. Hot Rod’s injuries and the fact that he’s only recently birthed a sparkling mean they have to drag him out and help him walk across the empty battlefield… Hopefully, they can reconnect with an autobot squadron soon, and as for Deadlock… he’s going to stay with his sparkling for as long as he can, for now.

Ratchet going into labor in the middle of a battlefield... Maybe he didn't even know he was pregnant or they got attacked and it kick started his labour, either way, in the middle of patching someone up his water breaks. He tries getting away from the fighting but keeps running into injured bots or where their fighting moves and he ends up back in the middle of it. Ratchet ends up crouched behind some rubble, unable to run any more as he feels the baby crown. It takes sooo long to get the baby out too, ratchets holding back groans and wails bc the fighting is still close by... Autobots find him just after he pushes them out and get him out of there safely, luckily.

Unluckily for him, a decepticon drone caught the whole thing on film and ratchets 4 hour labour video is essential for decepticon command to watch next meeting

hrghhhh I love the thought of Ratchet giving birth in the middle of a battle, one of my favourite fantasies for real. I love me a “i didn't know i was pregnant” but I always imagined Ratchet still dutifully working with his belly swollen and very visibly about to pop. He shouldn’t have gone on this mission in the first place but he insisted, because he really needs to be useful and he shouldn’t be due for at least a couple weeks… The stress of battle, however, sends him into premature emergence.

mhmmm fluids trickling down his thighs as he brings soldiers from the brink of death, wincing as pain squeezes his forge, the pressure slowly growing unbearable the longer he tries to resist the urge to push. Logically he knows he cannot hold it off for as long as he’d like to, but by god does he try. It’s not until the baby’s just about to crown that he stops and focuses on his labour. It takes so long to push it out… he’s stressed and tense and in pain and there's no one to help him. I can imagine him dropping on his hands and knees eventually and reaching down to try and pull the sparkling out by hand but it just won’t crown far enough for him to get a good grip. Maybe he even pushes it back in during his frantic grasping and barely holds in a sob. He’s so worried he might die in here, with the sparkling stuck inside of him… Eventually it slips out, though, by a miracle it gets unstuck and Ratchet births it into his hand, shuddering with his valve spurting out the last of birthing fluids and energon. Autobots find him clutching the little one to his chest and shaking….

mhmmm i like that a decepticon drone caught it on camera… The autobots’ chief medical officer squatting, getting on his hands and knees and birthing out a baby makes for good viewing. I bet there’s a lot of ‘Cons who find it very lewd and would love their own copy to jerk off to later.

a non-horny week would either save me or drive me insane

this wouldn't leave my brain

what if the fool’s energon was actually a fertility aid and it made megatron slowly increasingly more desperate to get pregnant and have a full womb, and eventually begging literally anyone around to fertilize and impregnate him

i dont think this one is even that old but i cannot believe i missed it anyways. Megatron being pumped with a fertility aid daily… he knows fool’s energon is supposed to make him calm and docile but he doesn’t know how it does that. His valve starts to get wet so easily now, his forge is hot and cycling inside of his abdomen, his processor feels fuzzy with arousal, he’s been getting sluggish and stupid… he just needs a spike so bad. Needs to get knocked up and carry babies. Once it all gets too much he can barely stumble out of his hab-suite in search for a nice spike that could fill him up.

and i mean, when Megatron opens his panels and shows you his fat, flushed valve and begs you to breed it, you don't say no. Soon enough he's in some hallway corner, legs spread open, bots waiting in line to breed him up <3

Starscream x skyfire

But it's skyfire the one full of eggs/bitlets

mhmmm Skyfire could carry so many eggs/bitlets <3