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#bless you nonnie!!
chut-je-dors · 1 year
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Hello! Do you happen to know any good resources for learning Finnish? As basic as possible, I literally started on Duolingo half an hour ago:) I know, I know, I'm a poser for learning Finnish *after* Käärijä, but the language sounds soooo interesting (although I've heard the grammar is quite difficult...). Thank you in advance and also love your blog:)))))
Hi!! So very very ecstatic that you've decided to learn Finnish! No reason to feel ashamed that you'd only start after Käärijä... believe me, in Finland people are just altogether very taken if a foreigner wants to learn Finnish, no matter the reason. (And all reasons for learning a language are good!) (And we're SO SO PROUD of Käärijä, he's done a monumental job of bringing our language to the public eye more than ANYONE ELSE BEFORE so, yup! He's a VERY good reason to start learning Finnish!!)
I'm not sure if I'm the right person to point you towards any resources... But I tried finding some for you! I've checked out the Duolingo course and it's a good place to begin! Here's also a drive folder that has some Finnish language books as PDFs.
Also here's a page for beginner's Finnish from our national news media Yle (it's like our version of BBC).
Here is a "picture book" kind of a page for learning names for objects, good to start with!
Here's an online course for beginners! This has grammar too, and links for further reading and studying.
Finnish is also notorious for having it's written language differ drastically from how people actually speak. We don't have accents per se, but dialects instead, which don't just affect the way we pronounce words (=accents, as in English) but the way we form them. So for example, the written Finnish "I am" is "minä olen", but in spoken Finnish it can become e.g. "mä oon", "mää oon", "mie oon", depending on where you live (and there might be some more variations as well but these are the most common ones.) Many foreigners find themselves in a spot where they can read and understand written Finnish pretty well, then the moment a Finnish person opens their mouth it's a bloodbath. But don't let it deter you! And Finnish people are more than happy to switch to written Finnish if you don't understand them. I found this website for learning the basics for spoken Finnish!
A good place is also good ole Youtube! Just type in "Finnish for beginners" and you're set to go!
Finnish is a difficult language to learn because of the grammar and lack of prepositions if your language has them... but look at it this way, I struggle with them in any language that uses them cos I haven't grown up using them. I still occasionally mess up with in/on or for/to (it's even worse with French and Swedish). Doesn't stop me from writing 100k fics in English apparently!
Welcome to learning Finnish! Remember that the most important thing is to learn the swear words, you'll go far with those. Just drop in a perkele and it's always the right thing to say haha.
Jokes aside, I'm very happy to hear this! Finnish is a very beautiful language and a very inventive one as well, which allows for more word play and creativity with the language than, say, English for example. And while Finnish is difficult, you'll find that once you've learnt the rules, there are no exceptions to them or the kind of hassle with the grammar as there is to English or French. I've known exchange students who've learnt near perfect Finnish in less than a year!
If anyone knows and wants to add more good resources here, go ahead!
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rillils · 2 years
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OK BUT THOR JUST ADORING BUCKY IN A BROTHERLY WAY AND BEING VERY TOUCHY IN LIKE A FRIEND WAY BECAUSE HES LIKE THAT AND STEVE, OBLIVIOUS AND VERY JEALOUS STEVE, IS JUST VERY VERY JEALOUS
yes, that would be it
NONNIE, MY BEAUTS, I FUDGING LOVE YOU 💕🥰💕🥰💕 you know, this ask made me grin like an idiot, and then I spent hours thinking about it, and then one thing led to another and it spawned this... thing? it's all kinda jumbled and unrefined, and I didn't give it a re-read so um. but yeah, you can find most of my ramblings under the cut :3
imagine if this is before the boys become a thing – they’ve been dancing around each other for the better part of a century, forever stuck in this relationship limbo because they are two big pining dumdums, with a history of trauma longer than the Nile and a deeply ingrained tendency to not talk about their feelings, and they’re hopelessly in love with each other, and also just. kinda hopeless in general. desperate to finally Make This Happen, but kind of at a loss as to how to do it.
after all, there never seemed to be a good time for this, right? they never seemed to have enough leisure and peace of mind to give this thing, this really important thing, the proper space.
but now, you know. now Bucky’s out of cryo, and their enemies are far away. there are no new wars in sight (shhh infinity war never happened), and most importantly, life in Wakanda has given Bucky the chance to find some peace, to rest, to take the first few steps of his journey towards recovery. so Steve figures, maybe. maybe for once the timing’s just right, and he can do what he’s been wanting to do since all his clothes were two sizes too big and his shoulders fit under Bucky’s arm as if the shape of him had been cut out of Bucky’s side. he can tell Bucky, and find out if Bucky feels the same way after all.
ENTER THOR.
and Thor, you see, he befriends Bucky as quickly and as naturally as he does everybody else.
Thor with the boisterous laugh of a godling in his prime and the eyes of an ancient soul; Thor who’s supposed to be the god of thunder, and yet beams as bright and warm as the sun.
Thor, who finds true enjoyment in making people feel good about themselves, and he’s always calling Bucky handsome, complimenting the progress of his beard, teaching him how to braid his hair the Asgardian way, patiently and eagerly, just like he was taught when he was a boy.
Thor is genuinely impressed by Bucky’s knife skills, the flipping and the throwing and the twirling – he himself was always more about power and momentum, rather than stealth and agility – but his brother, he tells Bucky with unsuspected fondness, his brother would find kinship in Bucky’s knack for sharp blades.
Thor never tiptoes around Bucky – on the contrary, he’s quick to sling an arm around Bucky’s shoulders, to slam his huge hand between Bucky’s shoulder blades with enough strength to generate a minor earthquake and make Bucky’s bones rattle like so many pebbles in a box.
Thor, who is a literal god and has the body show it, who’s battle-worn and fierce and still finds the time to pick wildflowers to bring as a gift for Bucky’s home, who owns two goats with super badass names (which then turn out to be the equivalent of Toothgap and Chews-a-lot), who could easily tuck Bucky under his arm and take him for a spin through the clouds with his magical hammer
and he’s gorgeous, and loyal, and generous, and a king amongst his people, and it would be so fucking easy to fall head over heels for someone like him
and then there’s Steve, who had only just managed to talk himself into confessing his feelings to the love of his life
and suddenly it’s like Thor is always there, and his hands seem to be on Bucky at all times – on Bucky’s arm, at his back, in his hair to weave it into lovely plaits – and Steve loves Thor, he does, but these days he also feels the occasional urge to bite Thor’s fingers off one by one
he’s jealous. he’s so fucking jealous it hurts. maybe he doesn’t even realize it at first, but then he recognizes it – this ugly feeling eating away at his insides, sitting unpleasantly in the pit of his stomach every time he sees Thor hover too close to Bucky for one second too long
and he hates it, he hates feeling this way. he knows he’s being unfair, to Thor and Bucky both. he can see how Thor’s friendship affect Bucky in the best way; how important it is for him, to have one person in the world who cares, who sees beyond his past and doesn’t resent or blame him for it; someone who values him, not just as an asset to use when the need arises, but as a man, as a person, as a friend
and Steve is glad, he truly is! Bucky deserves it all – the extra positive touch, the words of affirmation, the loud appreciation, all of it. he deserves to be surrounded by people who love him, who respect him, and he deserves to feel at ease with them, as he does with Thor
but.
but every time Steve hears him laugh at one of Thor’s jokes, or catches him listening avidly to one of Thor’s many tales, which sound better and more exciting than half the sci-fi novels out there, he can’t help but wish he were the one putting that gleam in Bucky’s eyes
when he sees Thor pull Bucky into a one-armed hug so easily, while he can’t even bring himself to take Bucky’s hand, look him in the eye and whisper the words he’s been carrying in his heart for so long–
when he goes back to their place – Bucky’s place – and is greeted by yet another trinket Thor brought back from his latest trip to this or that world, the number of them crowding every room now, like a constant reminder–
when he and Bucky sit together for dinner, or Bucky tugs him along for a walk through the fields, and the first words out of his mouth are “Thor told me...” or “Thor says that...”–
Steve is jealous. so jealous he can feel his heart darken with rot from the inside out, like an apple core crawling with worms.
and the thing is, superserum or not, Steve is only human – and one day, when they’re all together and Thor is being is usual, friendly, affectionate self, Steve snaps at him for no apparent reason
it takes him a moment to realize what he’s done, and the way Bucky’s looking at him... all Steve can think to do is stalk off to go sulk in private, and maybe let the ground swallow him whole
meanwhile, Bucky doesn’t know what to think – he’s surprised, and a bit angry, and very much confused. yes, Steve has been acting weird for some time, but this? this isn’t like him at all
Thor, on the other hand, he’s not half as oblivious as he may seem; he’s been watching for a while now, and he believes he knows what’s going on with his friend. so he takes Bucky aside and tells him. clasps Bucky’s shoulder, and with a warm, benevolent smile, of the sort you’d only ever see on an immortal being, he says, “I believe it’s time for you and Steven to have a conversation, my friend.”
and dammit, but Bucky thinks so, too
locating Steve is easy enough. Bucky finds him exactly where he thought Steve would be: sitting under the tree in their backyard, where they’ve spent many of their afternoons, reading to each other, dozing off in its shade, snacking on dried fruits and nuts as they sent cute cat videos and memes back and forth between them
he’s got one of the shepherd dogs curled up in his lap, and he looks so solemn and miserable, with his fingers buried in the puppy’s fur and his head hanging gloomily, Bucky almost feels bad for him.
he approaches calmly – he knows Steve is aware of his presence by now – and sits on the ground next to him, in the groove between the tree’s roots, which they have long since claimed as their spot.
It’s Steve who speaks first, a quiet mutter, like all the fight’s gone out of him.
“What are you doing out here?”
Bucky shrugs. “Came to see if you were fit for civil company again.”
He looks over – Steve’s chin is nearly touching his chest at this point, eyes trained carefully on a nondescript spot on the dog’s white fur. Well then, Bucky decides, if this is how it’s going to play out.
“You know, Thor says he fears he must have upset you somehow.”
Steve is quiet for a moment, but there’s something there, in the way his jaw clenches minutely under his beard, that tells Bucky he’s struck the right nerve.
“And why would he think that?” asks Steve.
“I don’t know, maybe because you were being an asshole to him?”
The tips of Steve’s ears burn red hot – shame, if Bucky had to guess. Good.
“You’re right,” Steve says eventually, sounding genuinely contrite. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have– I’m sorry.”
“You should apologize to him.”
Steve nods, “I will. I promise.”
and then it’s quiet again. Steve keeps rubbing his thumbs over the dog’s soft ears, silent, and it becomes clear to Bucky that if he wants anything to change here, he’s gonna have to make the first move.
“He’s got an interesting theory, you know. Thor,” he tells Steve casually, nudging Steve’s knee with his own. “He thinks you might be jealous.”
That catches Steve’s attention. His head snaps up, and this time he actually meets Bucky’s eye, stuttering, “Jealous? Wha– why would I, why would I be–”
But it’s precisely because he’s looking Bucky in the eye, that he can’t bring himself to finish that sentence.
“... Was it that obvious?”
He sounds so utterly mortified, Bucky can’t help a little smile there. “To some more than others. Subtlety’s never really been your thing, you know that.”
Steve sighs, leaning back against the tree trunk as tension visibly bleeds out of him.
“I’m so sorry, Buck. I’ve been the worst lately. I should have been supportive, should have been rooting for you making a new friend, and instead I went and made it all about me. I’m sorry, I really am.” He goes back to scratching behind the dog’s ears, avoiding Bucky’s gaze, hesitant even as he adds, “I just... could tell how much you liked him.”
So there it is, then.
“And you thought that, since I had him now, I would just forget about you?”
The apples of Steve’s cheeks flush pink, high and full across his cheekbones. “It sounds so stupid when you put it like that.”
Good, Bucky thinks, because it is stupid. Steve is stupid – a stupid, endearing, adorable idiot, and Bucky wants to kiss the uncertainty off of his pretty face so bad it actually hurts to hold back.
“I do like Thor,” he says, watching Steve nod pitifully beside him. “He’s a good man, or– or god, or whatever he is in the first place. The thing is, he’s a good friend, and good friends are hard to come by. But Thor is not the one I want to be with. He’s not the one I want to fall asleep with, or wake up to, or come home to when the day’s work is done.”
Steve looks up, lips parted, a single grain of hope gleaming in his eyes. “He’s not?”
Bucky smiles, fond. Either Steve’s just that blind, or he’s playing dumb because he wants to hear Bucky say it; but that’s fine, too. That’s more than fine. Bucky’s gone without putting this into words for long enough. “No, Steve.”
“But there is someone.”
Bucky snorts. “Yeah, there is someone.”
He scoots closer, until their shoulders meet, and slips his metal hand in Steve’s own, letting Steve lace their fingers together.
“There’s this guy, you know, a good pal of mine. We go way back, basically grew up together, and I might deny this tomorrow, but I’ve been holding a torch for him since like, forever. I even asked him to move in with me – twice now, if you can believe that.”
Steve’s head tips gently against his, nuzzling briefly at Bucky’s temple. His breath is soft against Bucky’s cheek, and their hair whispers together, silk to silk. “Did you.”
Bucky hums. “First time around, we were still kids. He got all stubborn about it, figured it must be charity on my part, you know, a good Samaritan kind of deal. Never even crossed his mind that I might be more selfish than that. That he was home to me, and I wanted to be the same to him.”
The gentle squeeze of Steve’s hand around his is worth a thousand words. Bucky can feel them press into his skin, I remember, rich with fondness for the boys they used to be, and We know better now, soft and grateful, and more than that, sweeter than that, I’m right here, right here with you, deep at the core of who they’ve always been – ubi tu gaius, my love. Where you are, there I will be.
“But he came around,” Steve says, and Bucky can hear the smile in his voice as he says it.
There’s a happy ending somewhere in this story, close enough that Bucky can taste it on the roof of his mouth already, and they can spell it together, same as they’ve been doing since once upon a time.
“He sure did,” Bucky confirms. “The second time I asked him, though, he didn’t put up a fight. In fact, he didn’t try to argue at all. He said yes right away, and I thought. Maybe we’d both had enough of being apart. Maybe he wanted this as much as I did.”
“He did,” Steve promises without hesitation, body turning towards Bucky, seeking his gaze, and there’s no way Bucky could doubt him when they are like this. No way he could mistake the truth in Steve’s eyes for anything but what it is.
“And now he’s here with me,” he says. “Living with me. Building a home with me. He cooks with me, cleans up with me, stays up with me when I can’t sleep. He hangs our laundry all squared up like he’s due for an inspection, and he keeps buying more socks than either of us can ever wear, and he makes a face every time this other guy brings flowers into our home, because apparently, he should be the only one who gets to do that.”
And there’s the bright pink at the tip of Steve’s ears again, and the way he blushes all the way from the mole on his cheek to the three freckles on his neck, the way he ducks his head a little, embarrassed.
It’s moments like this that make Bucky sure: this is the man he wants. This doofus right here, who looks at him like he can’t help but, stars in his eyes, and tries so hard to hide the smallest of smiles under his beard, but he hasn’t quite learned how yet. Bucky thinks he never will. And to be honest, he kinda likes it that way.
He cups Steve’s jaw, stroking over the dimple he knows is there, buried beneath the soft bristles, and feels Steve’s smile curve under his thumb.
“I know him like the back of my hand, and still he surprises me some days. He knows me, too. Knows all there is to know, all the things that matter. He just hasn’t picked up on how much I love him yet. How happy he makes me. How jealous I get when our dogs like him better than me,” he adds, tipping his chin towards the overgrown puppy currently in Steve’s lap. Steve chuckles, and if Bucky could spend the rest of eternity just counting the crinkles around his eyes and kissing each and everyone of them, he would.
“I gotta say, this guy sounds like a mook,” Steve teases softly. “Might be you’re gonna have to spell it out for him.”
Bucky slips his fingers in Steve’s hair, pulling him in.
“You’re a dick,” he rumbles.
“I love you too,” Steve rumbles back.
“Kiss me,” Bucky tries to say, but Steve is already there.
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steddiemicrofic · 3 months
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photo of steve w the bat: i'd nail u anytime, valentine ;)
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teddybeartoji · 1 month
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Okiee friend roommie gojo takes you on a motorcycle at midnight to random places like the riverside or some food stall or whatever. Especially when you aren't feeling good (my current mood <3). There's less to no people at night, which is perfect!... Taking a walk with him. Orrr simply sitting on his motorcycle and chatting with him while he stands front to you.. ykwim😭
HELLOO????? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE A MASSIVE BRAIN, HMM????? THAT'S SO DELICIOUS????? see, i don't think i would've really even considered roomie!gojo owning a fuCKING MOTORCYCLE???? YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH THANK YOU FOR THAT MY LOVELY
btw you guys literally have matching helmets!!!!! he immediately bought one seeing how excited you got after seeing the bike. not to be a basic bitch but how fucking sexy is a white and blue bike?????? my eyes just rolled back into my head holy shit. anyway. matching helmets matching helmets matching helmets!!!! i think he'd love the ones that have the ears on them too lmao he's a little cutie. he also bought you your own racing jacket too!!!!!!!!! i mean he has the money so he didn't even blink an eye at the thought of buying you your own gear bc like... he would never even think about having you on the bike without atleast a helmet!!!! he's not a reckless driver at all and i genuinely don't think he'd speed at all (maybe only a little on highways and only when there isn't a lot of ppl)(he would rather die than to put you in danger like that)
and he'd 100000000000000% go on late night drives with you!!!! he sees you moping and his heart sinks:((((( at first he just tries to ask about it but when you're still looking so out of it, he offers the drive. he helps you put on the helmet and then gently headbutts you after putting his on. he loves the way your eyes smile through the small glass opening and he just already feels a bit better, a bit prouder to have made you smile.
he offers you his hand as you're taking a seat behind him and he always gets so giddy when your arms circle around him. he loves it, he really does. he waits for you to get comfortable and rest your head against his back before even turning on the engine.
you have a code that whenever you want to say something, you squeeze his thighs. when you need to stop, like stop stop, you slap his thigh. he made that rule and he didn't even let you onto the bike before making you repeat it three times for like the first five times. he doesn't play around, i'm telling you. sometimes, you like to tease him for it, for being a pussy but he isn't fazed at all. he just smiles at you and calls you his precious cargo.
okay, so i like the idea of him taking you somewhere extra quiet - maybe you even already have your spot, too? maybe a more hidden part the riverside, somewhere it's certain that you'll be alone. he parks the bike and ofc offers you his hand when you start climbing off. he smooths your hair after you pull the helmet off, making a quiet like jokes about you looking fucking insane and no matter how stupid his comments and jokes are, he always gets a laugh out of you. even if it's the smallleeeest teeniest tiniest little smile.
he takes your hand and tugs you to the lonely little food stall. the person who's managing it has seen the two of you so many times and they're fully convinced that you guys are a couple btw. gojo always pays. ALWAYS. he literally gets upset when you try. sometimes at home he whines about always paying but when you actually get to the paying part he just pushes you away??????? smh he's an idiot but he's OUR idiot.
he let's you eat before asking about your day again. he let's you rant his ears off if that's what you decide to do. he leans against the motorcycle as you pace back and forth in front of him and he's so invested!!!! no matter whether it's work drama, uni drama, some sort of friendship drama or something more personal - he's all ears. he tries to crack a few jokes here and there but he keeps it low as he's gauging your emotions. yk if you're laughing a bit more, he turns the joke machine up a notch but if not... he just let's you talk it out.
btw if you're not in a talking mood at all, he probably does the talking himself to try and distract you from whatever is bothering you. he's telling you about the new parts he wants to put on his bike, he's telling you about his day, about the people he saw on the streets, about the new comic he's reading etc etc etc. he probably invites you to rest against his chest as he does so, faintly swaying back and forth. he watches the streetlamps reflect on your skin as you rest your eyes, breathing in his cologne.
and after a while he offers to go back home. he tells you that he can take the long way or the short one, whichever suits you best. it could be 3am and he wouldn't dare rush you. he is prepared to do anything to make you feel better!!!!!!!!!!! he's such a good roomie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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navybrat817 · 2 months
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*innocently dropping this bomb*
https://twitter.com/sebstanbr/status/1767176528452800772?t=1pBZLOmtUaRBCRwC6XSyHA&s=19
INNOCENT, nonnie?! Now you sound like me! 😇
I had to pull up the extra link in that post.
I mean...
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Unspeakable things. No shame. I need the Winter Soldier. I need him carnally. Please.
Bless you, nonnie. Love and thanks! ❤️
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IF Jo runs off, I don't think it will be for long. Is she having a crisis, absolutely, but the world has changed immensely in the time she's been on the farm. She's not going to be able to make it on her smiles and sharp wit. Her struggle with perceived loss of control isn't going to improve by running away from "the trap". She is the the trap, it will follow her to the ends of the earth, much like her shadow.
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That is all. Incredible. Stupendous read of her, beautiful analogy, marvelous writing. I am so happy and so touched.
Because like, yes. Exactly. Until Jo allows herself healing and vulnerability, she will always feel trapped. If not by others, then by her own emotions. The trickiest part of control is that it’s not just controlling everyone around you, is it? It’s about controlling them AND you. Even if everyone else falls in line, you still have to deal with yourself at the end of the day, and especially for Jo, she clearly does want things outside of her control (*cough cough* Gio).
Then on top of all of that, Josephine is deeply concerned with controlling her surroundings. She will not and can not feel safe without a “safety net.” And you’re right in that that is a rarity in the world she’s living in now. She absolutely knows that. We saw her realize it in this post. She knows the world she would be running into is precarious at best, and the safety of a home and family that she would be abandoning. To run away from that with no plan, no money, and no support would be dangerous and reckless.
Josephine isn’t stupid, and she certainly isn’t rash. This isn’t to say she can’t be, especially when backed into a corner, but it isn’t her nature. She’s cunning, calculated, and measured. Just like her mother. It’s only a matter of figuring out how to use that in her favor in a way that fits with the other parts of her nature, which are governed by a sense of perceived morality and loyalty for her family; OR if she can’t, and she’s backed too far into a corner first, then the rash side of her wins out despite everything she knows about the world and what running into it would mean.
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thesherrinfordfacility · 10 months
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Crowley's flaws: I think Gaiman accidentally wrote himself into a hole that he either doesn't see or doesn't know how to escape, and he fell into the hole when he decided to turn what was a political allegory into a psychologized relationship issue. Pratchett's understanding of evil is rooted in post-WWII thinking about totalitarianism, in which unthinkable acts are perpetrated by bureaucracies staffed by "normal" people, and resistance comes from individuals who become aware of what this routinization really conceals. This is consistent across the Discworld novels, not just GO. What GO does is take this point and filter it through C. S. Lewis' THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS (the hell-as-bureaucracy model, which NG and TP then extend to Heaven). In the novel, there's a direct line from Crowley's "hung out with the wrong people" to the moment at the airfield when he tries to reject Aziraphale's claim that they're both responsible for the mess the humans are in because they were "only doing our jobs." That's a textbook example of what we now call the Nuremberg defense ("just following orders/just doing my job"). The fandom loves romanticizing this aspect of Crowley's character--he has trauma! he's a proto-Marxist with demonic class consciousness!--but when Crowley busts out this kind of reasoning, he gives way to /evil/, just as Aziraphale does when he tries to justify the ways of Heaven to himself. Any fan who wants to be uncomfortable ought to read Hannah Arendt's EICHMANN IN JERUSALEM and then go back and look at Crowley's dialogue again, because boy howdy. But when it comes to their relationship, the transgression is not /personal/.
In the series, the political allegory has vanished, and the direct line runs from Crowley's "it's not my fault" to manipulating Aziraphale into killing the Antichrist. So far, so good, sort of? Gaiman had to remind the fandom that we aren't supposed to buy Crowley's excuses, all of which are bad. He's called out on the "why me" bit three times in the first episode alone. But by the end, there is no sign that Aziraphale understands that he has been manipulated, and no sign that Crowley understands that he did something wrong! The moral epiphany Crowley had in the novel vanishes, so we are left with a nasty /personal/ transgression that neither character understands as such. Aziraphale, by contrast, keeps owning up to his mistakes (at the bar, to Adam during the timestop, on the park bench). Part of this has to do with comedy and its lack of object permanence, so to speak. However, instead of facing up to the conflict it's created for itself, the series drops the whole thing like a Hellfire-hot potato, and so appears to conclude that there's nothing wrong when one character repeatedly takes advantage of another one's gullibility, sometimes in destructive ways. The question is to what extent the new writer has any opinions about this, or even notices.
i have no words........ 👀 a very interesting and thought-provoking take. i dig it. i never thought to look at the tonal comparison of the book vs. the show but this is... eye-opening. yes. YES. (and this doesn't mean that the characters nor the story are unlikeable. it means they have depth but that depth sinks into murky, terrifying, bottomless oceans just as much as clear, shiny, crystal-like reefs). YES.
also anon if you are comfortable pls message me direct i just wanna give u a lil virtual kiss a lil smooch✨
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deepspacedukat · 19 days
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Okey so I found you on ao3 and I just wanna say I love your Picard x reader stuff so much 😳😳 there's barley any of it out there would you want to do some more nsfw of him, anything honestly cuz I'm desperate 😭 either way, thank you for your work! You are awesome 😎
Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you like my writing thus far! I will 10000% write more Picard smut. In fact, here's one just for you, Nonny! Have a lovely day!!
(Requests are still closed, this is just one from my backlog.)
If anyone wants to be added to or removed from my taglist, please let me know!
Cross-posted to AO3 here.
~*~
His Two O'Clock
Captain Jean-Luc Picard (ST:TNG) x Reader, Dixon Hill!Picard x Reader
[A/N: This is smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]
Warnings: Established relationship, paying a debt another way, improper use of a desk, holodeck roleplaying, roleplay, oral sex (female receiving), coitus interruptus, power dynamic (kind of?).
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~*~
"Mr. Hill? Your two o'clock is here," Madeline called over the intercom, and the door swung open before he could even acknowledge her message.
As gorgeous as ever, Hill's client strode into his office in high heels. The red lipstick adorning her mouth accentuated the way it was pursed with frustration.
"I want my money back, Mr. Hill."
"I'm sure we can come to some sort of an arrangement." The detective's voice was low, pacifying...suggestive, even as he attempted to placate the woman whose case he couldn't solve. She'd come into his office a few weeks prior with a seemingly straightforward problem that turned out to be a puzzle without a solution. All the evidence had been eliminated, leaving only conjecture and instinct to explain what had happened.
That would never hold up in court. There wasn't even enough for an arrest, even if he'd been able to narrow down the suspects. He was baffled for once in his long, distinguished career, and now he had to own up to the fact that he couldn't even pay his client's money back, because he'd needed it for the office's rent.
He'd failed her in every possible way.
"I paid you a substantial amount, yet you've given me no more to go on than a few hints," his client said lifting an eyebrow. She tried to hide it, but her eyes roamed the length of his suit-clad body briefly before meeting his own. Her frustration was still there, but it was tempered by something else. Desire, blatant and growing in potency since the moment they'd met. "So, what exactly are you suggesting, Mr. Hill?"
An easy grin crossed his lips as he crossed his office. Pausing in front of her, he let his own eyes drop to her lips.
"Somehow, doll, I think you know what I mean, already," he murmured reaching up and grasping her chin. The pad of his thumb skimmed over her painted lower lip, just barely smearing some of the color onto his own skin.
He hoped he'd have that shade smudged in other places, as well, by the end of her appointment.
"With the amount you owe me, Mr. Hill, you'd better make it damn good," she demanded, but she sounded too breathy to be truly threatening.
"Oh, don't worry. I've never left a client dissatisfied before," Dixon promised, and true to his word, he soon had her splayed out atop his desk. With her legs spread wide and the hem of her dress rucked up to her hips, he relished the quiet moans pouring from her lips as he lost himself between her thighs.
Her fingers guided him, but he didn't really need it. He'd had plenty of practice using his tongue. Just as she bit her lip to stifle a keening whimper, the sound of the comm doused both their pleasures in ice water.
"Riker to Picard. We've reached Starbase Eighty-Four, sir. The station's commander would like to speak with you at your earliest convenience," the First Officer announced, and just like that, the Private Investigator was brushed aside for the Officer.
"Understood, Number One. Tell him I'll meet with him in a few moments," Captain Picard answered reluctantly, and when the line closed, he stood slowly between his lover's legs. "Same time tomorrow, Lieutenant?"
"Fourteen hundred hours, yes sir," she answered as she wiped her pleasure off of her Captain's lips with her handkerchief. He'd make it up to her tonight...and again tomorrow. Stealing one last kiss, he saved the program.
~*~*~
Taglist:
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Ive got this image of Roy kissing Jamie on the head and idk if my brain wants it to be shippy or big brother, little brother kinds way, but in whatever case I Need That
Hey, nonny, do you have spyware installed in my brain? I’ve literally been thinking about this exact scenario for the past few days, trying to hash out what it might look like and what precedes it and what sort of kiss it is.
I have severaly vague ideas that are none of them fully realized and all of them more fluffy wish-fulfillment than anything else. Thought I might get around to ficcing one of them properly one day, but that’s unlikely to ever happen, so have three roughly sketched snapshots of head kisses from my fevered imagination: 
I. Hurt/Comfort
Eventually there comes a day when Jamie snaps and channels the Jamie of yore and just goes for everbody’s throats with bared teeeth. Roy misses the dust-up but arrives for the aftermath with the entire team and Ted looking a little shell-shocked.
“What the fuck happened here?” Roy demands. Ted explains, and hastens to add that clearly something must be wrong for Jamie to behave like that and could Roy please go check on him?
Roy finds Jamie in the storage room and the moment he enters Jamie whirls on him, terrible smirk plastered over his face. 
“Oh, what a fucking surprise, Timid Ted sent Roy Kent to do his shouting for him, that’s a real—“ 
Roy ignores the drawling venom (and ignores the way it makes his stomach drop and twist with the memories of oh so many other confrontations between the two of them, back when they truly did loathe one another). He stops in the middle of the room and fixes Jamie with a carefully neutral look. 
“Jamie,” he asks, very calmly, “do you need a fucking hug?” 
For a moment, nothing. Then Jamie laughs, and it’s an ugly thing filled with scorn and jagged edges. “Oh, you’d fucking like that, wouldn’t you, big man Roy Kent, riding in on your white horse, going to— ”
And still Roy doesn’t raise to the bait. He takes a step closer. No aggression to the move, just determination: the unmoveable object to Jamie’s irresistable force. “No. Jamie, do you need a fucking hug?” 
So close, he’s standing. So steady, his voice. In the face of that resolute peace Jamie’s rage can’t help but dwindle and wither. He closes his eyes. Jerks his head once for yes. 
And Roy wraps his arms around him and holds him, and holds him, and holds him until the tension starts to bleed out of Jamie’s body and he rests his head on Roy’s shoulder. They stay like that for a little longer, but then Roy gently moves his hand to Jamie’s shoulders, pushing him back slightly so that he can look at him. “Feeling better?” 
“Yeah.” And, with a quick glance to Roy’s face, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not really me you need to apologize to.” 
“No, yeah, I know. I will.” 
Roy looks at him for another moment, just looks. Sighs, maybe; eventually gives a little nod.
“Good lad,” he says, briefly pulling Jamie in again to place a kiss on his forehead, before putting a hand on his back to guide him back out into the world. “Don’t fucking let your father make you think any different.”
If Will is huddling in the corner for this one? Your call, gentle reader.
II. Affection
Say that Roy and Keeley are in Jamie’s childhood bedroom because they want to check on him. I’m thinking that Something Has Happened that concerns Jamie – probably something to do with his dad at the next Man City match – but the immediate situation has resolved itself and Roy and Keeley are just getting back together and had this whole fancy dinner planned and Jamie said he was fine so they head out for their big date.
And it’s lovely, really it is, only they’re both preoccupied throughout the meal and eventually one of the just blurts sorry, I’m really excited to be here with you but I can’t stop thinking about Jamie – yeah, me too – we should go check on him – and so they’re off to his mum, and maybe Jamie’s out buying milk and for some reason his mum has Keeley and Roy wait in Jamie’s old bedroom and when Jamie finally does show up he is understandably surprised to see them.
“I though you went on a date,” he says, closing the door behind him.
And they explain that they were, they are, but they were worried about him and just wanted to make sure he’s okay. 
Jamie is okay. Scored two goals against City, and wasn’t nearly as bothered by his dad’s antics as he’d thought he be, he’s just dandy.
Having eventually convinced them of that, he pauses and cocks his head. Does that quizzical little face with his lips pursed. “It’s a bit weird, you two coming to check on me in the middle of your date, innit?”
Keeley shakes her head. “Jamie, it’s not weird. We care about you.”
Jamie raises his eyebrows at this, throwing a teasing look Roy’s way. “Yeah? You care about me, Roy?”
And Roy rolls his eyes and shakes his head, scoffing the way only Jamie can make him scoff, because of course Jamie would fucking ask. 
“Come here, you fucking twat,” he says and Jamie grins at that as he crosses the floor because Roy is smiling through the bark, and Roy still has one hand in Keeley’s but his free arm he slings around Jamie’s shoulders to give him a tight hug while pressing a firm kiss to the top of Jamie’s blonde hair. “’Course I fucking care.”
(This one’s not unsimiliar to another [shippy] scenario I sketched recently. I tend to ponder all sorts of minor variations of the same theme, though usually I settle for just one to inflict upon the rest of the world.)
III. And a Shippy One to See Us Off
The boys are celebrating something – not winning a game, I don’t think, because they’re not on the pitch, they’re somewhere off alone. In the locker room after everyone’s left, maybe, or out during an early-mornings training session? Doesn’t really matter. They’re alone.
Jamie’s phone goes off, he picks it up, listens for a bit, nods and yeahs and goes “thanks, man, that’s fucking great” and when he puts his phone away he doesn’t say anything at all at first. Looks a bit dazed, and after a minute of that (well, more like a second, ‘cause Roy Kent is not a patient man) Roy demands to know the fuck’s going on.
“I’ve been called up for England,” Jamie says, and he sounds dazed too, like he can’t quite believe it. Sneaks a glance at Roy, as if checking is this real, is this happening?
For a moment, Roy says nothing. Then he says “fuck”, and then they’re both screaming and jumping up and down and holding each other and somewhere in all that Roy just pulls Jamie close and smacks a kiss on the top of his head.
It’s completely unthinking, but it immediately gives them both pause – and it takes them by surprise how it actually makes them go still. If you’d asked them before, neither would have thought a silly little peck on the head would be anything to take notice off; they’re footballers, yeah? They’re tactile. But still they go, and they glance at each other and both of them find their eyes drawn to the other’s lips.
“Oh,” Roy says. Bless his heart, would you believe he’s just figuring it out? But to be fair, so’s Jamie.
A moment, teethering, each of them holding their breath, waiting to see what happens next.
Roy swallows. Jamie tilts his head to the side and slowly, slowly – giving Roy all the time in the world to punch him or run off or go back to jumping up and down like nothing’s happened – he reaches out to put a hand on Roy’s neck.
Roy doesn’t punch Jamie. Roy doesn’t run off. Roy doesn’t go back to jumping up and down. He leans in, ever so slightly, lips parting.
“Yeah?” Jamie asks, just to be sure.
Roys nods, once, sharply. “Yeah.”
Jamie kisses him.
---
Yeah, nonny, I need that. You need that. Everybody needs that! I mean, Jamie and Roy certainly fucking does.
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gatorlovebot · 6 months
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My pain is better today, so my brain is working again (at least a little bit lmao), so claiming and puppy Simon!!! I have a couple thoughts on it
1. I think that he wants something to show his devotion to you, both inside and outside puppy-space. You have given him a love he never even knew existed, let alone thought he deserved, and he might not be ready to give you a ring (might not ever be ready for it, might not even be able to with the whole “being legally dead” thing). But a necklace seems too close to a collar, and something with just his initials or a heart of it doesn’t feel big enough, not with how much you’ve changed his life. One day, when he’s spacing out and fiddling with his dog tags, he gets the idea. He gets you a special chain thing that can convert between a bracelet and a necklace, and on the chain? One of his dog tags. He tells you, in part it’s a way of showing that you belong with him, but it’s also a promise to everything and everyone that he will follow you everywhere, including into death. If they ever find you dead, his soul will have departed with you, and Price or anyone else will have to bury you together (or if you want to be cremated, mix your ashes together). Simon is a strong man, who has fought to survive through so much physical and emotional pain, but a world without you is one he refuses to live in, so this is his promise to you.
2. In much smuttier news, he also love biting you. It started as his nervous nips, then a communication tactic, then he just had an oral fixation and your fingers are so good to have in his mouth and having your neck in his mouth soothes his fixation, reminds him your alive because he can taste your pulse, and makes you all squirmy <3 one day while he’s humping you, he bites at you to try to silence himself a bit, and ends up biting too hard and breaks the skin. Poor puppy gets so hard everytime he sees the scabbed over bite as it heals, and just glancing at it can send him into puppy space. You, of course, notice and decide, after a week where Simon has been a bit insecure that you’re going to have him mark you properly with his bite. You sit down and tell your puppy to come. He kneels before you, curious, and you tell him to sit on your lap and put his teeth on your throat. He follows with no hesitation, and just mindlessly rests his teeth against that spot, his breathes causing you to shiver in hot anticipation. “Now, I want you to be a good boy, and bite.” Simon freezes: Simon the man flinching at the thought of hurting you, Simon the puppy wanting to follow your orders blindly and wanting to mark you, and Ghost wanting to taste your blood on your own order. “I know, puppy, you’re a good boy for thinking of my safety first even when I order something, my smart and sweet boy <3 but I want to have your mark on my body forever, so I want you to bite and if it heals, I’ll just have you bite over and over again until it stays <3. So, as long as you’re ok with it, I’ll ask again: Puppy, bite”.
3. A tiny bit of piss play, as a treat to myself: Simon completely underestimates just how far into puppy space he would be able to sink when this all first started. First, he thought he’d never be able to do it, then that he’d be able to play along but not get super out of his head, but now he’s here, and he’s fighting against instincts he shouldn’t have since he’s not actually a fucking dog. He shouldn’t be basically chewing up your used underwear, rubbing them all over himself to get the scent to stick around longer, or getting annoyed when any actual dog comes by you, and he sure as hell shouldn’t be thinking about pissing on you to claim you. I think out of everything, that’s something he keeps buried so deep within himself, wrapped in shame and disgust. He never meant to tell you, and he never would’ve. Except one day, he falls DEEP into puppy space, and he drank a lot of water from his bowl, and you were being so hot so he couldn’t keep himself from humping. Usually, when Simon is in puppy space, especially for longer scenes, you make sure to tell him to “go potty” every once in a while, because 1) it drives in the puppy space deeper and proves that you can take care of him and all his bodily needs and 2) you don’t want to risk him going to deep and having an accident and then being too ashamed to be a puppy again. But you didn’t see how much water he drank from his bowl, and thought the break earlier was enough :(( so Simon is humping you, and his cock fees leaky, and he’s so desperate and the a burst of liquid comes out, not cum, and Simon freezes and starts to whine distressed and pulling off you to hide his puppy cock with his hands. You realize what happened, and immediately are comforting him and petting him, and you guide him to the bathroom but come in with him because you are afraid if you leave him alone at this point he will spiral, all while trying to ignore how hot it was that this giant man got so lost in being your puppy he didn’t know he needed to piss and inadvertently pissed on you a lil like a puppy trying to mark its territory. You bring him back, and have to have a long conversation with him both in and out of puppy space about how you don’t mind, that you even find it a little attractive, but that you will watch him more closely in scenes to make sure this doesn’t happen again if that’s what he wants. It takes a long, long time with a lot of discussions, communication and research for Simon to be ok with it happening again, but he can’t deny that he gets insanely turned on by the thought of pissing himself as he humps you again, claiming you as his just like puppies do <3
Sorry it’s still not the best, and not the most coherent, but if you have anything you want me to expand on, I absolutely will!
-🐶
bestie, honey, sweetie, literal LOVE OF MY LIFE how do you know exactly what i need every single time? somehow you are in my brain reading my thoughts because whenever you send me a message about puppy simon it's like tailor made for me <3 i'm also very glad to hear that you're feeling better. "sorry it's still not the best" anon, i promise that i want to hear all of your thoughts about puppy simon, no matter how jumbled they are (not saying these thoughts are jumbled, they're literally so beautiful and delicious). but always feel free to word vomit about puppy simon in my inbox.
i love the dog tag idea and tbh it made me tear up a little bit because yeah you've given him a world he never thought possible, a world that's only worth it if you're in it. and i love how it kind of subverts the roles ya know, like him, the puppy, giving you dog tags. would also love to hear your thoughts on collaring simon because i looooove collaring but i think it's something you two have to work up to. puppy simon would looove a collar but simon the person has his hangups, fearful he would feel restricted and panic.
the biting is everything and your writing is just. something else, dude. he just loves having his mouth on your skin, your body is his favorite toy. and he didn't mean to break skin, he just gets so worked up when he humps and humps and humps, he gets so loud and it's so embarrassing to him sometimes that he needs to muffle himself a little bit. he feels sooo bad when he first breaks skin, but feels even worse at the way it makes his cock twitch and leak. he shouldn't want to hurt you when all you do is coo at him and pet him :( picturing him climbing into your lap because god he's so fucking big but he's just your little boy, your sweet little lap dog <3
he cums in your lap when he tastes your blood and hears your wounded cry, he laps at your blood, cleaning up his mess. and the claiming bites work for him out of puppy space too. the dog tags are one thing to claim you and prove his devotion, but something material can't express his need for you, his hunger for you like a bite mark can.
piss play! piss play! piss play! anon, i'm giving you a kiss. with tongue. this is what i love so much about this au because as filthy as it is it's all about communication and trust building and meeting other's needs. reminding him to go potty during a scene so you can prove to him you can be in charge of his needs? taking on that responsibility so he doesn't have to think about anything other than being a happy puppy? i need it saur bad.
also love the drinking out of a bowl mention because above anything the puppy play dynamic has quickly become more of a lifestyle than just a kink. him drinking out of a bowl that says "simon" or "puppy" on it i could die.
the shame and guilt this man has drives me insaneeee. but that's why i love this au so much because we get to help him unlearn that shame lol. even though you're completely fine with his other deeply puppy behaviors, encouraging them selfishly, he's still like "wanting to piss on them is Too Far" so he's devastated when it happens on accident, his body betraying him one of the worst ways he could ever imagine :( cleaning him up is one of those rare moments when you have to be very direct with him. your voice is still soft because you knows he's scared and still in puppy space but every word is intentional and every touch is comforting until he's finally able to crawl back into your arms when he's all clean.
it's one of those things he still wants to do, but his feelings about it are just Too Much still. your words help a lot but he's still just stuck on it. so he fantasizes about covering you in his piss, his scent, in the mean time <3
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eureka-its-zico · 6 months
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Doc's mind going a mile a second during ovulation week while watching Zoro take care of Chopper
Doc all of ovulation week:
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saerins · 2 months
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omg hi! 😭 I’m back,😈 I was laughing myself off when I saw the chinga tu madre so here we go!
•Chinga tu madre is actually a Mexican idiom, chinga doesn‘t have an exact translation but it could be like “Fuck ur mom” (tu madre= ur mom) it is a way to insult ur mother or sent someone to the shit. The reason why you probably heard abt it b4 it’s bc it is the typical Mexican insult.
|-> in Hollywood they use mostly Mexican insults when they want to say that a character speaks Spanish (racist or xenophobic if u think lol) some examples are: Valeria Garza (Mexican) from call of duty, Gloria Delgado (Colombian) from Modern Family, Dora (Mexican) the explorer‼️ or Pablo Cavazos from BLLK who is Argentinian (the multicolor haired guy) ❤️‍🩹
• “Tu madre es loca/ tu madre es una loca” it is in fact that ur mother Is crazy 😭 for example, Eita could say to y/n: “La hijueputa (the slut) de tu mamá (of ur mother) está loca (is crazy)” which means her mother need to go to the psychiatrist urgently!!!🤓
So, today I’m going to teach how do we call the parts of ur body! 💋
•Pene: Its literally penis
/-> but we have better ways to call it. 😈🔥👌👈
•Polla- exact translation of cock! To the animal and also the deck 😍 fex: “La polla de Sae es tan grande”-“Sae’s cock it’s so big”.
•Berenjena, it’s literally the veggie🍆😭
•Pito- Argentinian one. Fex: “su pito era tan pequeño” - “his dick was so small”
•Chimbo- Colombian one. Fex: “Que chimbo tan grande”- “what a big dick”
•Vagina: Vagina, the difference is that in English u spell it like vayaina and in Spanish it’s like vahina.
/-> Coño: it’s like pussy, but u also can use it to swear. Fex: “Coño!” - “Fuck!” But if u wanna say that someone it’s a pussy the best option is “eres un marica” that it’s like “you’re a sissy”. Sexual example: “Sae hace que mi coño se ponga mojado” (me fr😍) “Sae makes my pussy wet”
/-> Concha: Cunt. Idk how we call it in English but concha it’s literally 🐚😭 “Sae me pone mojada la concha” “Sae makes my cunt wet”
That’s all for today! Also, the chapter was so good 😭I hope u recovered well from the cold or any illness u had also I wish u have a nice week!❤️‍🩹 if y’all have any other question just let me know ;) kisses for everyone!
-🍚
tw nsfw zone guys hahahaha
spanish lessons fr I READ YOUR TEACHINGS MORE RELIGIOUSLY THAN ANYTHING ELSE <3 you’re very knowledgeable about the usages too :’) there you go truck kun nonnie !!!
omg not you teaching us body parts now !! (i’m so ready for this) because i want sae’s berenjena <3 LA POLLA DE SAE ES TAN GRANDE YES YES YES <3 stop you’re making me a menace with these 😭 (but don’t stop) the pussy one !! me too nonnie !!! sae hace que mi coño se ponga mojado too 🤤🤤 sorry in advance if i say this wrong but - yn’s mother esta concha >:( it’s probably wrong but 😭😭😭
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perelka-l · 8 months
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(Naruto ask) Have you ever google searched for either 卑劣様 or Hiretsu-sama ;) ?
I never did but now I have and I found this post as an answer to what is the meaning!
I shall quote:
卑劣様/Hiretsu-sama/Lord Dastardly-Ignoble.
This joke targets most of the time Tobirama Senju, it comes from chapter 525 : The Kages Revived.
There Mu, who has been resurrected by Edo Tensei, comments on the technique and calls it Wretched, Dastardly or Hiretsu/卑劣 in japanese.
Hiretsu : 【ひれつ】 (adj-na,n) mean, foul play, cowardly, base, (P)
Since that point, Tobirama has been nicknamed Hiretsu-sama or as I call him Lord Dastardly.
It came to a point where most of his techniques are renamed with Hiretsu in it, so instead or Hiraishin Giri or Flying Thunder God Slash, we have Hiretsu Giri : Dastardly Slash.
Another point where they had fun with this joke, is during Danzou's flashback. In this editm Tobirama refuses to be the decoy and says "囮役はもちろんオレ以外が行く" Or "The decoy, of course, will be anyone but me". And after, like in canon, his speech. He casually sends Hiruzen to die as the decoy when he says "あしたは貴様が囮だ" or "Tomorrow, you'll be the decoy" schocking everyone.
That's really interesting because as I now look on twitter it's such a common way to jokingly address Tobirama and it flew right over my head :D Thank you for tipping me off on that!!!
As I look now there are more jokes that I either realized that existed in JP fandom or had a feeling they were here (Hyuuga being the strongest is always amazing to laugh at while also I am always a bit sad Kishimoto's homophones/kanji plays and puns are never carried on to translations).
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bonnieisaway · 7 months
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Hello it's "Seven copied GP's sword technique" anon again, back with a new take. So you know how Cheap Life Hua offers to help Seven burn away the Drunken Dream poison with his qi and Seven is like—"wait you want me to get naked again? Wait, why did I say again?"—that's a very suspicious phrase to say to Hua out of nowhere, it doesn't feel like it's just a gag. I checked the dub and subs of some other languages and as far as I and google translate know, they all seem to say a similar thing. So I wonder if this is an indication that Hua knew Seven from before (maybe they were close friends? or Hua was related to the Girl in White?) and that's why he's helping him out now.
(side note: it's really funny to me that in the Spanish dub Seven says "why does everyone want to get me naked?" in that scene)
WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME TO GET NAKED HELP LMAOO
Honestly I just assumed it was a joke about how Thirteen said it to him last season as well, (also ngl I didn't think he was getting rid of drunk dream because dawg is so poisoned i just assumed he was generally helping seven recover from the nineteen ailments he managed to collect over the course of one season) but also interesting ... Hua's past is never mentioned much but they're both such influential parts of Xuanwu back in their primes/when they were still there so I do wonder if they knew each other at all before. But I think that the main reason Hua helps Seven out a lot is because Seven is a lot like him in the sense that he didn't want to be part of the life Xuanwu offered him anymore and wanted something simpler and happier
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flowercrowngods · 5 months
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i go through your blog everyday it’s like reading the newspaper… i LOVE it 🫂
me hitting that reblog button in the future: this isn’t just for you op. it’s for nonnie too 🙏🤍
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Happy Holidays!!! I hope u get a Mahito under your tree and may he not eat all the plastic candy canes if any. ❁
Thank you!!!! Happy holidays to you as well!!!!
If Mahito is under my tree, then he's the one who keeps eating my ornaments and not my cat.
Or who knows, they could be in it together. Likely outcome.
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