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yoonpobs · 3 years

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we don't talk together | myg

pairing: min yoongi x oc

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, growth! exes that remain exes

words: 2, 842

summary: it's hard to say it's over

What they don't tell you about goodbyes is that it isn't the end.

It's far from the closing of a book. Goodbyes are the itch that urges you to pick up an old book from the shelf just to feel what you first felt when you re-read certain parts of a book; the same remorse you felt when a character you grew attached to didn't get the ending they deserved. Or, maybe it was the villain that was misunderstood—your own heart wishing to reach out to the sad soul that couldn't even be recognised when all they do is speak.

But some books will end up dusty, forgotten, tucked away in the corner of your shelf; or in the most drastic of cases: lost.

"The park looks ... different," Yoongi speaks up for a lack of a better conversation starter.

You hum. What would you say? That it wasn't the same from when we used to spend our Spring's blended into Summer's until it got too hot for us to lay in each other's embrace?

It was still too fresh even though it's been nearly a year.

"There are more dogs," You point out the moment a tan pomeranian runs past the two of you, the owner an old couple laughing away under the cherry blossoms.

He nods, fingers stuffed in his trench coat. You note that it's the same one he wore on your anniversary, plans abandoned when there was a mix-up with the reservations until the two of you stumbled across a hidden gem that soon became your go-to date place.

You will yourself to look away so no more memories can resurface. It seems like every part of your life has somehow seamlessly intertwined itself with traces of Yoongi that it was impossible for you to exist as just yourself.

"How are things at the firm?" He asks after the two of you walked side-by-side in complete silence as more and more chatter fill your ears.

"It's ... going," You chuckle dryly.

Yoongi raises an eyebrow at you, shooting you a brief glance over until the two of you reach a bench. You dare say it's muscle memory that dragged your heavy feet into the direction of the only bench that you've known in the park. The compressed reminder of the initials of your names that you carved as teenagers likely still staining the years old wood. It was meant to be an emblem for wisdom, the ring of growth that meant to be the endgame for the two of you.

You almost laugh in bitterness and how literal the metaphor was.

"Everything okay?"

Yoongi takes the first step to sit on the bench because he always did. Ever the gentlemen when he opened doors for you, let you into the car first, waited until you stepped ahead of him to trail behind like a shield.

The first date, first kiss, first confession.

The first one to decide that it was over.

"My boss is just being sexist, as usual. I thought I'd get used to it after spending two years there but ... there are some things that you just stay unfamiliar, you know?"

It was very like you to speak in double-entendres without intending to. But it was also like Yoongi to pick up on it, especially after years of learning all the best and worst parts of you; he was and probably will be one of the few people in your lives that will always foresee your next move.

The two of you sit a fair distance apart on the bench even if it was a battle for space anyway. You didn't have the liberty to lean into his embrace anymore and he wasn't in the position to say that it was okay for you to breathe, to relax.

"You shouldn't get used to those remarks. There are times where you learn to grow used to constructive criticism but if what he's saying makes you question your worth because of very arbitrary reasons like your gender then that isn't criticism, nor is it constructive. It's bigoted and chauvinistic."

You look down to your thumbs as you fiddle with it, his words comforting you. It was woeful that you still chased validation from him even after learning to be that person to yourself.

"Yeah, I guess."

Then how did you get used to things?

If time didn't make things familiar then what did? Was it not the five years with Yoongi that led you to see him build an empire for himself all the while destroying the relationship that you had? Or was it because he was the person that you thought of doing the most minuscule things?

"By the way," He clears his throat, eyes still set forward, "Namjoon says hi."

You raise an eyebrow, surprised to hear the name of a mutual friend—or more appropriately, friend by association and acquaintance when that link was broken.

"He knows that you're with me?"

Yoongi nods his head.

"I needed to let someone at the studio know and ... well, he's the only one that knew of our situation."

You chuckle bitterly.

Of course. The suggestion of his work only made your heart drop because as much as you wanted to be supportive of him, even after the break-up, the name of his studio or songs only reminded you of the battle that you helplessly lost.

"You can tell him that I'm still a text or phone call away. No need to play messenger," You return.

The atmosphere is more reflective than awkward. You know that the two of you had your pieces to say, your own narrative to tell but neither brave enough to break the calm that you were settled in. It was a nice difference from the way that things ended, and you supposed that you were similar enough to believe in a mirage than the inevitable truth.

But you didn't call him out after six months to sit in silence to walk away with your heart feeling heavier, nor did you invite him out just to remember what it feels like to have him next to you—even in complete silence.

"Would you have really quit?"

This time, you gather all the bravery that you've built over the past few months to ask the question that has been mulling in your mind since the night you decided that it was officially over.

It was a painful break-up. Even if you expected it when Yoongi came home earlier one night with bags under his eyes and his keys that he usually left at the studio because he knew you'd always be home to open the door for him.

"I'm sorry?" He seems taken aback.

You don't blame him. You've always been more passive in dealing with confrontation due to your conflict-averse nature—but that didn't mean you didn't get angry or annoyed—or hurt. But if you learned anything, it was to stop asking yourself questions that you'll never have the answer to.

"Would you really have left the company to save our relationship?"

You chose your words carefully. Instead of saying to be with you, knowing that he lost the love, he had for you somewhere along the way—you point out the one hole that he held on to for the sake of stability. The one thing that was constant in his life with how unpredictable the music industry was.

"Yes."

Somehow, the answer doesn't make you feel better because even with time apart you knew he was lying to save your face.

"You don't owe me anything to lie to my face, Yoongi." You frown.

Yoongi sighs, rubbing his hands across his face as he leaves your statement hanging in the air to mull over his answer.

You prefer the silence that way. It showed that he was at least listening, or cared enough to decide his next set of words. Nothing like how much it pained you to acknowledge the responses you got from him when you were crying were just out of obligation than sincerity.

"No, I wouldn't have."

You nod your head, expectant of the answer but you needed to hear him say it himself rather than drowning yourself in ruminating thoughts of how there was still a semblance of hope that he would've given it up for you, for your relationship—or the life that you were meant to build.

"I wouldn't have asked you to, anyway." You confess.

Yoongi turns his head to look at you and for the first time since you've met at the park, he notices the absence of a necklace around your neck. The necklace that you never took off. He wants to comment on it, ask where it went or if you've pawned it off out of pettiness but he held no remorse towards you. You were tolerant with the break-up even as you sucked in your tears when he knew that it killed you on the inside. Yoongi didn't have the heart in him to ask you.

"Oh."

"You were the one that said you'd quit so we could stay together," You say softly.

Yoongi doesn't respond as he looks back to the night where the two of you sat down to talk about the standing of your relationship. It was a rollercoaster of emotions that started off with an amicable discussion that eventually led to the two of you yelling until you surrendered to your tears and just left the battle completely.

He said a lot of things that night. From things that he's been bottling up for months, to things that he's always wanted to tell you and things that he didn't remotely mean, and things that he's regretted the moment it left his lips.

"I guess I did."

You sigh, leaning back into the bench as you observe a couple walking in front of you, passing your bench as they share an ice cream on a cone; bickering on who'd get the first lick. To anyone, you and Yoongi would've looked just like a couple that has reached a comfortable point in your relationship where intimacy was just sitting next to one another.

But you admit, there was something oddly intimate and heart-breaking about sitting next to someone you've loved with your whole heart and feel nothing but ... weightlessness. Like the burden of your concerns was lifted ever so slightly just being here.

"I wouldn't have made you choose between your relationship or your dream, Yoongi. I would never have done that to you."

Yoongi knew you would never have made him do something as abhorrent as that. You were far too understanding. But you had wanted from him too, that he wasn't willing to provide just yet. He didn't know if it was because of the expiration date to your relationship or because of the stress he was under at work—but he convinced himself that it was you that was asking for too much instead of him compromising too little.

"I ... I know," He whispers, "I'm sorry."

You purse your lips. You try not to let your emotions appear on your sleeve. You were tired of allowing your face to speak before you did. You needed to use the voice you had.

"I loved you so much, Yoongi," You murmur, "I loved you so much that I would have taken anything I could've gotten with you just so I could be with you."

Yoongi stays silent at this.

"I didn't mind if you spent more time at work than at our home. I just wanted to know if I was ever in the picture when you were talking about the future. I know how much you love music and I supported you through every audition and failure ... and to know that I was just—" You swallow, the words still painful to say. But you needed to make your peace with it, "—that I was just someone that would wait for you instead of your partner. That's when I knew that you didn't love me the way I loved you."

Yoongi chokes to speak up but you shake your head.

"No, Yoongi. You loved me, you did. But somewhere along the way you stopped and you just pretended that we were okay even when I was trying my best to fix the seams. I wasn't your girlfriend anymore, I was just someone familiar to you and I didn't deserve to feel that way." You tell him sternly.

Yoongi surrenders to his silence as you take a deep breath to continue.

"Maybe I loved you too much in a way that you couldn't understand."

"_______, don't say that—" His eyes widen when he tries to reach a hand to yours to comfort you, but your body language remains stoic as you keep your hands in your lap.

"—and that's okay Yoongi. I loved you but not in the way you needed. I'm not here to make you feel bad about what I chose to do on my own because it wasn't my fault that I couldn't be what you need." You say sadly, but a small smile on your face as you finally say the words that have been eating at you for months.

"... okay," Yoongi accepts.

"We all have different ways to love and be loved. I loved you and that was enough for you at one point but love isn't all a relationship needs. You loved me too, in your own way and I accepted that but just because it was enough for me doesn't mean it was enough for us." You glance over at him to see him staring at you intently.

"I'm sorry that things turned out this way," Yoongi says softly, eyes gentle.

You wave him off.

"I don't think I'll ever love someone as much as I loved you, though," He confesses, eyes returning to the scene in front of him filled with different colours of life that seemed to look vibrant under the Spring sunset.

You shake your head and chuckle softly.

"You say that now but you'll meet someone one day and you'll remember all the reasons why you love in the first place. And it'll be enough for you, and them."

He shrugs, a small smile itching on his face.

"I really did love you," He says, "But I'm sorry for not being honest with you. I owe you that much of an apology."

"We're not here to forgive or forget, Yoongi," You look at him kindly, "We're here to move on."

He purses his lips and hums, nodding his head.

"I hope you get that promotion at work you were talking about months ago, ______." Yoongi offers, a gentle grin marring his face.

"I did," You shrug.

It feels liberating to have achieved something and only feeling content by acknowledging it yourself. Months ago, you would've hurt at the fact that Yoongi didn't know. But the change you welcomed after the end only showed you that there was a new path for you to walk on.

His eyes widen, but eventually, he chuckles and shakes his head, muttering something under his breath that sounded a lot like knew it.

You push yourself off the bench, dusting your hands on your pants as you offer him one last smile before you say goodbye for the second time.

"I hope you find someone who you'll love more than you ever did with me." You tease.

He rolls his eyes.

"Impossible," The grin on his face is easy, and your heart still clenches at the nonchalance, but you don't expect the feeling to go away so easily—nor do you mind. It just shows that you needed to wait and that you were willing to do it.

"Of course you will. You're a musician, Yoongi. You need a muse," You smirk at him as you turn around, a small wave on your hand to say goodbye.

As you walk away and his body gets smaller and smaller from your vision, you turn around to say:

"We don't talk together is a beautiful song."

Yoongi's smile is genuine, and so is his goodbye. A gentle acknowledgment of his hand as he stands up himself, walking to the other direction of where you were headed.

You still had a love for Yoongi, and you suppose you always will. Just like how you would feel pleasant when rediscovering a childhood hobby that triggers a fond memory, or how you love different things in your life in different ways. Whether or not you love someone more than you've ever loved Yoongi isn't your concern, because when love comes in one form, it goes in another.

When you still take the same route you'd usually take with Yoongi after your walks back home, you pass the cafe you used to frequent to see that it's replaced with a new bar. You smile fondly to yourself, shaking your head.

You loved that place.

But eventually, you'll find another cafe with a beautiful interior and a latte to match, and you'll love it too.

#bts fic #bts imagine #bts fics #bts imagines #bts yoongi #bts fluff #bts angst #yoongi x reader #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi exes #yoongi imagine #yoongi fic #yoongi breakup #angst #fluff #yoongi #min yoongi x reader

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irtza · 4 years

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Snowflake | Jeon Jungkook

genres: fluff, drabble, boyfriend! au

word count: 1.3k

"Get up!" A squeal erupted from Jungkook's mouth as he was forcefully pulled of the bed, tumbling off the edge straight into the carpeted floor, tangled in the warm, dusty blankets you'd foraged through the top of your closet for now that winter was beginning to arrive.

"Why would you do that?" While he had hoped his voice would come out threatening and angry, the words came out like a long, drawn out whine.

Your figure, triple its normal size because you'd hidden yourself underneath several layers and a thick padded coat, loomed over him with a dazzling smile nearly splitting your face in half, and he groaned when he saw the twinkle in your eyes and the thick boots you had on.

"It's snowing, isn't it?" He buried his face in his blankets, voice muffled.

"Yes, and you're going to come help me build a snowman!" You said cheerfully, hands circling his waist as you attempted to haul him up.

He now regretted letting you go to the gym with him - for someone practically half his height, you were surprisingly strong.

"I don't want to," Jungkook shook his head as he attempted to scramble out of the death grip you had around him, staring mournfully at the empty bed.

"Kook!" You were pouting, and he knew that, he knew he shouldn't turn to look at you otherwise he would cave, but he did it anyways. Your eyes were wide and your chapped lips were curved downwards, lower one jutting out ever slow slightly, and your hands were clutching at the sleeves of his loose grey sweater. He almost cooed at the sight, opting for bending down and pressing a swift kiss to your forehead.

"Do I really have to?" He asked, nudging his nose against yours. "You're the only snowflake I want to see, you're far prettier than all others."

Much to his dismay, you pulled away with a breathy laugh, but he was satisfied when he noticed your cheeks turning red. Even after dating for three long years, you were still shy with displays of affection, and it made his heart do this weird thing in his chest. Namjoon had told him he was probably going to die, but Jimin had shot the older a nasty look and told him reassuringly it was just love, which sounded way nicer.

"Come on, it doesn't snow often," You whined, tugging at his shirt, dragging him to the bathroom.

"Brush your teeth, I'll get your coat." You instructed, and he groaned, complying. Warm water threaded through his fingers as he ran the tap, and within minutes, he found himself padding through the house grumpily, gloved hands stuffed in his pockets as your smaller frame happily unlocked the front door.

"Lucky you," He eyed the sleeping puppy, Coffee, who was curled up in a bundle of old sweaters and clothing you'd found to decorate her bedding. She looked endearing, a small ball of mahogany and obsidian fur in the midst of bright pink and pastel lilac fabric, and he would've given anything to trade places with her.

The puppy looked up at him, panting slightly. She almost looked like she was laughing at his plight, and he scowled at her, fingers gently scratching her head. "You're lucky I love you." He muttered.

"Kook!" You called over your shoulder, and he sighed. "And you're lucky I love you too." He grumbled in your direction, making you giggle as you ran out.

Now, Jungkook and you agreed on a lot. You both liked cuddles, chill nights in, dogs, had similar taste in music (except when you listened to Euphoria on repeat, he got sick of his own voice eventually), the list went on.

Whatever you differed in were things you both could find a quick compromise to, like clothes and food.

Seasons, however, were different. Jungkook hated the cold. He preferred summer, when the sun was out and the heat was stifling even in the night, but the humidity was welcomed. He could wander around with the bare minimum amount of clothing (and so would you, but that was totally not why he liked summer).

Workouts were more satisfying, cold drinks to soothe his throat were a regular, and he would actually want to get out of bed.

You, on the other hand, loved winter, for some absurd reason. You loved bundling up and drinking hot cocoa while watching movies, you loved sitting by the window sill and watch the thin layer of frost form on the glass, you loved fitting yourself right into your boyfriend's arms because he gave the warmest hugs, you absolutely loved running around and playing in the snow.

Ever since the two of you had begun dating, you'd managed to get Jungkook out to witness the first snow of the year, a wide smile on your lips and a fading frown on his, but it was always worth it.

He stepped out, shaking the long locks that were becoming a tad bit overgrown, and his lips automatically curved into a smile.

There you were, standing in the driveway with your arms spread and your flushed face turned to the sky, as icy winds kissed your cheeks and caressed your hair. Snowflakes swirled around you as you ran around, leaving your footprints behind, giggling like a child as your gloved hands scooped up the snow.

You turned around and attempted to hurl the snowball at him, the snowball hurtling through the air, breaking apart before it could even reach him.

He snickered at the failed attempt, reaching down to gather a bit of the white expanse in his own hands, eyes narrowing as he made his way towards you.

You squealed and attempted to run away, slipping a little over the ice. His heart jumped in his throat, calming down when he saw you steady yourself, snorting when you turned and stuck your tongue out at him.

His aim didn't fall short when you turned away, the snowball hitting your back. "Jungkook!" You gasped, whirling around with your eyes gleaming as you hastily made yourself small balls of ammunition.

Jungkook laughed as you faced towards him, a surge of affection rushing through him when you slipped and dropped your snowballs, crashing straight into his waiting arms.

He looked down at you fondly, ears red and lips turned down in a pout as you stared sadly at the broken mess you'd worked so hard to make. "It's okay," He smiled, "You can make more."

"And I'll beat you up with them." You said grumpily, turning your nose up as you scowled lightly at him. "I thought we were supposed to build a snowman?" He quirked an eyebrow, and your eyes lit up at the reminder. "Oh, yeah!" You gasped, attempted to squirm out of his grip.

Jungkook chuckled, watching as the smallest snowflake fluttered through the air in an elegant twirl, landing right at the tip of your nose, causing you to still as you went cross-eyed trying to look at it.

He swooped down, pressing his lips lightly against your nose, feeling the tiny crystals of ice melt against his lips, heat surging through your face, and when he pulled away, you were as red as the Christmas ornaments you had bought in advance.

"I'm, uh, going to find some sticks," You stumbled back, eyes darting around, and all Jungkook could was laugh, watching as you stopped down, hands grazing over the snow over.

If it was for you, he smiled as he watched your eyebrows furrow in concentration as you carried out your task, turning to him in choosing which sticks were best for the arms.

If it was for you, he could learn to love anything, even winter.

#jeon jungkook #jeongguk #boyfriend au #jungkook imagine #bts x reader #bts #bangtan boys #winter #Snowflake #aesthetic #fluff

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marxwandersaround · 4 years

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Rules: Don’t reblog, repost. Reply as muse talking.

Tagging: Anyone with the time Tagged by: Nobody

► NAME ➭ “I’m Marx! The Cosmic Jester! The one and only~!” ► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭ “Yeah I am, not that really matters though. I’m just wandering around. No no no time for pointless dating. Not like anyone could handle someone like me! Heehee!” ► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭ “Yeah! I get to eat whatever I want, prank whoever I want, and I can do anything! There’s no reason I wouldn’t be happy!” ► ARE YOU ANGRY? ➭ “Only when someone steals my food. Well...I guess also when someone ruins a prank, but that’s just bad manners from the other guy!” ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭ “I have no idea who my parents are. So no answer to that. Hmm...I don’t even have friends who are married. The closest would probably be Taranza as he probably would've gotten married. Poor sap.”

⚡️ NINE FACTS! ► ‘BIRTH’ PLACE ➭ “I consider Popstar my birthplace! I don’t know where I’m actually from though.” ► HAIR COLOR ➭ “Does fur count? Because I don’t have hair...anyways, my fur color is purple! Like the clouds in space!” ► EYE COLOR ➭ “Two different shades of purple. One’s more red-purple the other’s more blue-purple. Not sure if people can really tell though! Heehee!” ► BIRTHDAY ➭ “Uh...sometime in Spring I guess. Lots of people think it’s the day I got exploded from that wish event because I said it was for my plan...I guess in a way I was reborn. Huh. Weird to think about.” ► MOOD ➭ “Good! A little hungry. Say say say~ Got anything to eat? No? Well ,go get something for me to snack on, or I guess I could just snack on this table. Oh? For me? Thank you!” ► GENDER ➭ “I’m a guy. Why?” ► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭ “Hmmm...both! Fire and Ice! One season to burn everything that the sun touches! One season to freeze everything that dares leave their homes! Huh? That’s not how seasons work? Pfff! That’s what you think! Heeheehee!” ► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭ “Oh this is a tough one. Morning provides so many yummy breakfast choices! But afternoon you get so many delicious snacks! Hmm...hmm...hmm...I think...I prefer... Brunch! Huh? Yeah I know it’s not supposed to be about meal times but come on! What else would could it be?!”

⚡️ EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE! ► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➭ “Not that I’m aware of. I dunno what it really feels like.” ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭ “HA! I believe that there’s idiots out there who do! They’re fun to mess with! Heehee!” ► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭ “Me I guess. I generally drive away people with how I act. Lost a lot of friends being myself. Or they just died. Doesn’t really matter either way. Oh? You meant romantic relationship? HA HA HA! Now there’s a good joke!” ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➭ “Mmm, I don’t think so. Unless the time I kicked and stole Kirby’s wish counts.” ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭ “...maybe.” ► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➭ “Nope nope nope~ I’m not a big hugger.” ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➭ “Yes actually! Still do! Heehee! Not that I’m gonna complain though~ I have some good qualities don’t you think? Hehehe! No I’m not kidding.” ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭ “You have to have one to break one~ Hehehe! ...yes I’m saying I don’t have a heart. No really, I literally don’t have a heart. How do I continue to exist? Magic!”

⚡️SIX CHOICES! ► LOVE OR LUST ➭ “Neither. End of discussion.” ► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭ “Lemonade! It’s WAY sweeter than gross tea! Hey hey hey, could I get a glass of lemonade?” ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭ “Both! Because both go away after awhile~” ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ➭ “Pff, wild night out of course! Way more fun than staying inside! What’s that? ......... Wait, wait, wait. WHAT? NO! I don’t even have the parts FOR THAT! NO! I MEANT LIKE PARTYING! NOT THAT KIND! EUGH!” ► DAY OR NIGHT ➭ “Does it matter? They both have qualities everyone enjoys! Day time for the brightness, warmth, and the nice sun rays! Night time for the darkness, cool, and the spooky moonlight with speckles of starlight!”

⚡️ FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS! ► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭ “No? Unless sneaking out of death counts. But I wasn’t caught...I don’t think.” ► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭ “...yes but it was for comedy. Totally not an accident! 100% on purpose! Hey! Stop laughing like that!” ► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭ “Kinda. Like when I want something to eat. Or to rule Popstar. That hurt A LOT. It’s better now.”

⚡️FIVE PREFERENCES! ► SMILE OR EYES ➭ “Hmm, eyes I guess but sometimes you can’t beat a good smile!” ► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭ “Uh, taller I guess. I dunno. I’m just used to being shorter than everyone, so someone smaller than be would be...weird.” ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭ “I’m gonna go with intelligence! Because having a nerd around is both funny and fun!” ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭ “Skip.”

⚡️ FAMILY! ► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭ “I don’t have one so...eh?” ► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭ “Ohoho yes yes yes~! I have heaps and heaps and HEAPS of baggage from my life experiences! Not that anyone’s gonna be able to get to really tell though! Hehehe! Though I have lots of good experiences too!” ► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME ➭ “No real home to run away from...so no I guess. I dunno, does getting exploded then drifting away count? No? Ok so the answer is No.” ► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭ “Oooh this is where the whole ‘exploded and left for dead in space’ comes in. Yes! Yes I have. But I came back of course! Can’t git rid of me that easily! Heeheehee!”

⚡️ FRIENDS! ► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭ “No? I don’t think I have any hate friendships. It would be interesting if I do get one though! Man! The fun and bad stuff I could do with that guy! Heehee! So exciting to think about!” ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭ “Yeah! Why wouldn’t I? What’s that look for? You don’t believe me?” ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭ “Hm, I think I would have to say...Magolor. Kinda because he saved my life, also he’s good at pranks.” ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭ “No one. Absolutely, NO ONE~ Only two or so people know actually know more than the facade I like to preform~ Hehehe! No I’m not gonna say anything more than that!”

“Well not to the question at least! Though this was fun! What’cha gonna do with this? Broadcast it? Hehehe! How fun fun fun! Welp I guess this is goodbye huh? Aw no need to thank me, I don’t mind questions or talking. Heehee! Bye bye bye!”

#marxwandersaround #marx #marx speaks #meme #interview #getting to know a jester #text

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Rio & Buster

Rio: Are you guys leaving now? Buster: They're leaving as soon as Nance finds a pair of sunglasses she ain't broken Rio: They are Rio: are you with nan and granddad? Buster: I'm not going 'cause they can't make me Rio: Why don't you want to Rio: its Edie's birthday, you have to Buster: I don't have to Buster: And I don't wanna 'cause it's her birthday Buster: The beach will be overrun with all her friends Rio: We don't have friends here, we don't live here, remember Rio: it'll just be family Buster: She'll have made loads since she's been here Buster: That's what she's like Rio: Still Rio: what do you want, a private beach Buster: Yeah Buster: For me and you Rio: Why you leaving me on my own then Buster: You'll have Nance Buster: And all the others will be fucked on sugar, they won't leave you alone Rio: Yeah, exactly Buster: Yeah, exactly Buster: It'll be shit Rio: Not for you Rio: but for me now, probably Buster: Don't make me feel bad Rio: You should Buster: Come on Rio: Nah for real Buster: Rio Rio: It's her birthday Buster: She won't miss me Buster: Like you said, the whole family is there Rio: Fine Rio: but you're meant to be my friend Rio: not leave me to deal all on my own Buster: I am Rio: some friend Rio: and 🤴 Buster: What do you want me to do? Rio: Do what you like Buster: Don't be like that Rio: What? Buster: You know what and you know why I don't wanna go Rio: Well I don't have a choice so Rio: whatever, later Buster: I wanna be with you, not everyone else Buster: Don't be angry at me for that Rio: I'm not for that Buster: Why then? Rio: Because I still want you to come, obviously Buster: So I'll come Buster: Even though it'll be shit and nothing like the beach trip you promised Rio: we'll still get ice cream Rio: and fish and chips Buster: If anyone annoys me they're getting buried and you're helping Rio: 😂 Deal Rio: unless it's me 'cos that's just rude Buster: I'd stop at a bucket full with you Buster: It'd half bury you anyway, like Rio: 😑 Rio: Hilarious Rio: I won't dunk you for that later at all Buster: You can try Rio: I'm a better swimmer than you Buster: No you ain't Buster: [I feel like she so is cos Cali kid child of the ocean bye] Rio: Am too Buster: Bullshit Rio: I've been swimming every day for the past however long we've been there so Rio: you'll see Buster: You needed the practice Buster: I don't Rio: Sure 😏 Buster: You sure did Buster: But I'm a natural Rio: Natural show-off Buster: I'll show you loads of shit, babe Buster: All you've gotta do is ask Rio: Oh, really Rio: once you've finished losing, you can Buster: Once you've properly congratulated me on my win, I will Rio: How about this Rio: I'll congratulate you so good you forget all about your lose and still feel like a winner Buster: That sounds good but the problem is I'm not gonna lose Rio: Your loss then, babe Buster: Yours Buster: But I'll be there to make you feel better about it Rio: No need Buster: Fine, I won't cheer you up after Buster: You can just cry and I won't care Rio: Maybe in my acceptance speech Rio: when I win Buster: 😂 Rio: You swear you're coming now Buster: I'm getting in the car right now Buster: [car selfie that he didn't need to take at all but did] Rio: 😊 Rio: Good Buster: I didn't get the opportunity to pack anything from their bar cart so it probably won't be that good, like Rio: I think you'll survive though Rio: life, and this party, is what you make it, McKenna Buster: It's what you make it 'cause it's your turn to surprise me in the middle of the night Rio: How am I meant to top a hot tub in a caravan park Buster: That's for you to figure out Buster: I'm waiting Rio: I'll be 🤔 Buster: Good Rio: Are your parents staying? Buster: Nah Rio: You and Nance are in with nan and granddad then Rio: lucky Rio: we're gonna be so squashed Buster: Do you wanna sleep outside? Rio: We could Rio: me, you and Nancy? Buster: Unless she wants Junior to take my place Rio: He could come too Buster: Yeah Rio: you don't want him? Buster: I don't want anyone but you Rio: maybe they'd let us? Rio: but then those two might feel left out Buster: They can come too Buster: It's okay Rio: Yeah Rio: You can still lay next to me Buster: I have to so you can wake me up when my surprise is ready Rio: Exactly Rio: And I've gotta be in the middle, for protection, obviously Buster: Smallest goes in the middle, everybody knows that Rio: I haven't forgotten that quick, like Buster: Don't Buster: Don't forget about me when I leave Rio: I won't Rio: did you forget about me Buster: 'Course not Rio: Then you know, I couldn't Buster: Yeah Rio: We brought marshmallows Buster: If you'd told me that ages ago we'd already be there Rio: 😂 Rio: You've gotta come for the right reasons Buster: What's better than toasted marshmallows? Rio: Me Rio: duh Buster: 😏 Rio: so mean 💔 Buster: I didn't say I disagreed Rio: Well do you Buster: You know I like you best Buster: Best friends, remember Rio: for all time Buster: Forever Rio: Did your parents go apeshit about your room Buster: They weren't as angry as I thought they'd be Rio: That's something Buster: It's not the right something Buster: They would've cared more before Rio: No, I see your point Buster: And I get yours Buster: I don't wanna get grounded over summer Rio: That'd make all our plans even harder, yeah Buster: Nah, I'd still do 'em Rio: You better Rio: can't break your promises Buster: 🤴's can't and I won't Rio: now I know how to break your face Rio: jussayin Buster: It don't mean you can Buster: Or I'll let you Rio: Be nice and I won't have to Buster: That's what I'm saying I know how to do loads of things I won't do Buster: Like being nice Rio: Why won't you? 😡 Buster: Not a pussy Rio: doesn't make you one Buster: You're a girl, it's not the same for you Rio: So every boy is a dick Rio: I don't think so Buster: I don't care what other lads do Rio: You so do Buster: They care what I do Rio: You care what they think Buster: I don't Rio: then why can't you be nice Buster: Being nice doesn't get you anywhere I wanna go Rio: That's not why you're nice Buster: It's a waste of time Rio: I disagree Buster: Like I said, it's different for you Buster: No cunt's stepping over you if you're nice Rio: I'm not talking about me Rio: being nice has benefits as well Buster: Girls get further by being nice, boys don't Rio: Whatever then Buster: Don't get mad at me about it Rio: I'm not but if you don't see the point then there's no point chatting about it Buster: So tell me what the point is Rio: I'm saying, being nice to the right people is just as important to getting places than holding back in other places Buster: Yeah but that's not being nice Buster: That's acting a certain way that benefits you Rio: It is if you still mean it Buster: Nice people don't want anything from it Rio: Nah Buster: Yeah that's why they finish last Rio: That's bullshit Buster: Prove it Buster: You be nice and I won't be and we'll see who does better Rio: 🙄 Rio: don't be stupid Buster: It wouldn't be stupid if you believed any of what you said Rio: I believe it Rio: it's hardly the only contributing factor Rio: too many uncontrollables Rio: doesn't work as an experiment Buster: Fine Rio: Why are you salty Buster: I ain't Rio: Then change the subject Buster: Nance is up for sleeping out Rio: Cool Rio: Junie will if she does Buster: They'll let the four of us Buster: Whoever gets final say Rio: Mine won't care Rio: doubt nan and granddad will make that much fuss Buster: It'll be good Rio: 'course it will Rio: the beach will be too Rio: even if all the others are there Buster: Swear you ain't gonna drown me Buster: 'Cause you're mad Rio: I am not mad, idiot Rio: and I said dunk, not drown Rio: so dramatic Buster: You could've changed your mind Buster: 👸's are always doing that Rio: Really Buster: Yeah Rio: You're not gonna diss a girl for keeping her options open Buster: I didn't Rio: then what are you implying? Buster: Calm down Rio: I was only asking Buster: Not everything I say means loads of other shit other than what I said Rio: Yeah, but what does it mean Buster: It means you could've changed your mind Rio: Then yes, I'm going to drown you Buster: You mean you're gonna try Rio: I say what I mean Buster: So do I Rio: then we're good Buster: What did you think I meant? Rio: About what? Buster: Just then when you were ready to 🥊 me Rio: I don't know Rio: you're confusing Buster: Why am I confusing? Rio: You say we're friends Rio: but then you say you aren't going to be nice to me Buster: 'Cause I'm gonna be honest Buster: If I do something for you it's 'cause I want you to be happy or whatever, that's not nice Buster: It's 'cause you've got the best smile ever and I wanna see it and know it's 'cause of me Rio: That is nice Rio: you are Rio: to me Buster: It's not nice that I want you all to myself Buster: It's mean to my sister and yours whose birthday it is Rio: No but its Rio: I don't know what it is Buster: Today is what it is anyway Buster: I can't give you a private beach yet Rio: but Buster: But I will when I can Rio: you'll still want me around Buster: Yeah 'course Buster: Why wouldn't I? Rio: It'll be different when we're older Buster: Not if we don't want it to be Buster: And I don't wanna share you with anyone so I won't Rio: You want me to yourself Buster: We wouldn't need our own beach if I didn't Rio: but do you JUST want me Buster: What do you mean? Rio: I mean, when you think about it Rio: is it just us on your private beach Rio: or other people too, just you know, not your sister or mine etc Buster: It's me and you Buster: Why who else do you want to be there? Rio: No one Rio: I see it the same too Buster: Good Rio: Doesn't it confuse you too Buster: No Rio: How are you so sure Buster: I'm never wrong Rio: 😂 Buster: I'm serious Buster: I have great instincts and I trust 'em Rio: But when everyone else would think it's wrong Rio: if they knew Buster: I don't care what anyone else thinks Buster: I do what I think is right Rio: I just can't be like that Buster: I know Rio: you think I'm stupid Buster: You're not stupid Buster: I wouldn't be your best friend if you were Rio: I trust myself but I trust them too Buster: Yeah Buster: It's not like I don't trust anyone but me Rio: just not about the things you wanna do Buster: I'm just not gonna let anyone stop me Rio: Yeah Buster: It's what my mum and dad taught me so they can't be mad Rio: I guess not Rio: but they would be Buster: They always are Rio: True Rio: they must be proud though Rio: all the shit you do Buster: 'Course Rio: so that's gotta feel good, yeah Buster: They'll be even prouder of me by the time I've got my own island Rio: everyone will Buster: So don't worry Rio: I'm not Buster: I know you are Rio: Not for you or your ability to get an island Buster: That's just an example Buster: Of how much you don't need to worry about all the things you are Rio: maybe you aren't worried enough Buster: Maybe life's too fucking short Buster: Or I've got other things to worry about Buster: Right now Rio: I'm not asking you to care Buster: So now you're saying I don't Rio: You said it? Rio: There is more important shit Rio: I don't disagree Buster: I never said I don't care about you Buster: Or what's important to you Rio: It's alright Rio: I get it Buster: You don't if that's what you think Rio: It doesn't matter Rio: today isn't about either of us Buster: Don't tell me what does or doesn't matter Rio: You know what I mean Buster: I care about what I care about whatever day it is Rio: yes but we don't need to talk about this when we're just talking in circles Buster: I'm talking in a straight line Rio: blame me if you want, go ahead Buster: I'm not gonna fight with you just 'cause you want me to Rio: I don't wanna fight Buster: I don't want to, you don't want me to like you any more Rio: because I can't trust me Rio: and it's scary Buster: You can trust me Rio: can I Buster: You know you can Rio: but Rio: what if we both want the same thing Rio: who would stop us Buster: We both said it won't happen again and we both don't say shit we don't mean Rio: Okay Rio: right Buster: It will be okay Buster: Trust me Rio: I'll try Rio: I will Buster: Do you want me to leave when my parents do? Rio: No Rio: I wanna be friends, I meant that too Buster: We are friends Buster: We'll still be friends if I go back with 'em Rio: but stay Buster: I don't want you to be confused or scared or worried or any of that shit Rio: being with you makes me the most happy though Buster: Really? Rio: I wouldn't wanna spend all summer with you and be your best friend if it didn't Buster: I'll stay Rio: Good Buster: I'll stay with you until I have to go to London Rio: then what Buster: Then I'll come back and see you whenever we want Rio: Okay Rio: that's good too Buster: And you can visit London as well Buster: We'll talk all the time just like we do now Rio: I was just checking Rio: that you want that too Rio: not to just go back to how it was at the end of summer Buster: I can't go back to that Rio: Me either Rio: so don't Rio: and I won't Buster: Okay Rio: sorry Buster: What for? Rio: making it weird there Buster: Don't be Rio: but I am, today is gonna be fun and I ain't selling that at all Buster: We're not even there yet, there's loads of time, like Rio: Did I mention the marshmallows? 😏 Buster: You did but cheers for reminding me Buster: I'm well hungry Rio: You need car snacks Buster: There are but it's all fruit and shit Buster: Cheers Nance I really fucking fancied a carrot stick and some hummus Rio: 😂 Rio: you can always burn her marshmallow as payback later Buster: Distract her for me, yeah? Buster: Christ knows how she's related to me Rio: Of course Rio: you don't even look alike, its so weird Buster: I'd say she got swapped but like you've said before she looks too much like she belongs here Rio: You could be swapped, if you like Buster: She'll be less weird in London when we don't have to live with our weird aunt Rio: Its the only drawback of coming back here tbh Buster: Still, they should just let me stay here with nan and granddad Rio: You mean you don't wanna live with Ro all on your own 😂 Rio: must not be an Irish school posh enough Buster: She wouldn't make me weird, I do what I want Buster: They don't want me going to a catholic one and I don't either to be fair Rio: Imagine when she has her kids Rio: how weird they'll be Rio: poor things Buster: She'd need a boyfriend first Buster: And nobody wants to go out with someone that weird Rio: She only needs to pretend 15 minutes Rio: that's how long it takes, like Rio: but she'll probably marry another doctor Buster: She couldn't pretend for 5 Rio: 🤞 he's quick Buster: Well glad the snacks are shit now I won't be car sick at the idea of that Rio: 😂 Rio: Maybe Drew will come back Rio: complete the set, like Buster: Nobody wants him back Buster: He'd have to be a glutton for punishment Buster: Maybe if he found god in prison Rio: Not like he sticks around so Buster: Anyway I heard my mum say Ro can't have babies Buster: She said she's more likely to die than get married Rio: Do they hate each other Buster: I don't think mum loves anyone but us and dad Buster: But you can't hate your sister, can you? Not properly Rio: I've heard Ro telling my mum that yours resents her Rio: its different but kinda the same, yeah Rio: I don't know Buster: Sometimes I wanna be an only child too, don't you? Buster: And that's without all the bad stuff that happened to her that we aren't allowed to talk about Rio: When they're like all crying and screaming at the same time Rio: but I'd probably get bored Buster: I wouldn't let you be bored Rio: I know Rio: but we ain't together day to day Buster: Maybe we would be if we were the only kids our parents had Buster: Everything would be different, like Rio: Maybe Rio: no point thinking about that though Buster: We probably wouldn't be best friends if you had to see me everyday Rio: You reckon Buster: Yeah Rio: You aren't that annoying Rio: give yourself some credit, like 😏 Buster: You're just gonna drown me to try and prove you can then? Rio: I am now Rio: your fault Rio: keep putting it in my head Buster: I'm SO scared, babe Rio: Shut up Rio: all be over soon and you won't be scared of nothing Buster: Make me Buster: I'm scared of nothing already Rio: 'course not Rio: everyone's scared of something Buster: Maybe other people are but I ain't Rio: that's bollocks Buster: It's not Rio: 🤷 Buster: Don't call me a liar Rio: I didn't Rio: I just don't believe that Buster: Then you are Buster: You're saying I'm lying Rio: It can be true to you and not me Rio: it's noting to argue about Buster: Nah, you either believe me or you don't Rio: I believe you believe it Buster: That's what parents say when they don't believe you Rio: It doesn't matter, if you believe it then that's what counts Buster: Stop telling me what matters Rio: I'm just saying like Rio: I ain't trying to start shit Rio: I'm just not gonna agree with you for sake of, you know Buster: I don't want you to Buster: That'd be really boring Rio: Well I won't Rio: you can trust that Buster: I'll teach you some more boxing when we get there if you calm down Rio: I'm so calm Rio: can't say the same for this lot Buster: If you say so Buster: It's your bet to lose if you don't pay attention Rio: What's gonna distract me Buster: I will Rio: That's cheating, I reckon Buster: You said I had to teach you properly and I am Buster: There's loads of distractions when you're in the ring Rio: Okay Rio: fair enough Rio: I'm so zen Buster: Even more distractions if you just wanna hit someone 'cause you're 😡 Rio: It's all about control, I know Rio: I'm already a pro Buster: We'll see how much control you've got Rio: Yeah Rio: you will Buster: 😏 Rio: wipe that smirk clean off, like Buster: I look forward to seeing you try, babe Buster: [Shows up to your function] Rio: [the excitement is real from everyone lbr] Buster: [Nobody let Nance be in charge of the presents cos she'd either forget them in the car or drop them, you sort it boy it'll make you feel important] Rio: [come at the birthday girl who's probably wilding somewhere] Buster: [They'd probably get her such a good gift cos Buster probably picked it and is a wild boy with good taste] Rio: [they would always come through on that gifting front we know it] Buster: [enjoy it Edie babe cos rudely your bdays are downhill from here] Rio: [sad times] Buster: [I'm not even gonna think about it, fun for all today thank you] Rio: [all the party games and beach moods] Buster: [yas I fucking love the beach] Rio: [he should play rounders] Buster: [100%] Rio: [roll out sporty kids] Buster: [lowkey everyone but Nance and Junie like] Rio: [unathletic gays] Buster: [kids Buster is gonna make you cos he's that bitch] Rio: [force that participation lmao, something for the dads to oversee like byeeee] Buster: [Fraze like allow me to get too involved in this and bury my actual feelings nbd] Rio: [exactly dr phil] Buster: [Poor Nancy does not need her dad and brother in her grill like this soz she's not a sporty gay] Rio: [soz babe this ain't your bday sneak over and help the mums set up 'cos Rio would be 'cos mini mum] Buster: [run girl run] Buster: [and Buster don't get distracted by your bae gotta win this shit boyy] Rio: [realistically you've not got much competition they all too lil so enjoy that easy win babe] Buster: [Edie is probably his closest competition and she's not taking it as seriously so] Buster: [But I like to imagine him helping the little ones too cos he's a good boy and family orientated really] Rio: [Rocky is like 17 so it can be him and Fearghal on a team with some littles and then Fraze and Buster with the others, also imagine lil baby Janis awh] Buster: [I love that so much bye and yeah Janis is Buster's fave of the littles always so he's having her on his team shamelessly] Rio: [baby Grace gonna be falling god bless] Buster: [She'd be dancing when she's supposed to run cos she always dancing as a bub] Rio: [that twerk dance babies do lmao] Buster: [imagine all the food and drink options cos Caleb has come thru bitches] Rio: [picnic mood] Buster: [we know Buster sitting next to Rio and none of y'all can stop him but also baby Janis cos they so won bye] Rio: [you know they're just sharing a plate] Buster: [it's the child friendly equivalent of sexily feeding each other crepes] Rio: [a mood, even if everyone else has to be here, like] Buster: [likewise she should put sun cream on him cos he white af and then he can playfully get her on her nose with it or something cos also a mood] Rio: [imagine the burning otherwise lol, Nancy just like I too am white btw] Buster: [Exactly she HAS TO it's not flirty at all even though he wouldn't burn and Nancy so would] Rio: [yet again everyone, where are you, what are you not seeing here] Buster: [Tess sort it out] Buster: [Also who's being annoying they can bury in the sand together because couple goals as a child tbh] Rio: [so many options lmao] Buster: [One of the adults blatantly cos you think you're bad bitches maybe Rocky cos he sucks at rounders lol] Rio: [lmao soz hun] Buster: [kill some time cos you can't go swimming together when you've just had a picnic like] Rio: [the hour rule my boo say] Buster: [nobody's drowning today] Rio: [or are they, Buster] Buster: [we all know she's a better swimmer and he's gonna sulk so hard] Rio: [we ca skip to that for more talking then 'cos yeah] Buster: [let's say he gets out of the sea and is ignoring her like in the future when they went to skerries and she thought he was flirting with that bitch haha] Rio: What's with the face Buster: [is just having such an in depth convo with his sister all of a sudden] Rio: [looking like ? but then going off to help with some activity for a bit 'cos not gonna hound him but say Nancy gets up then she'll message again] Rio: hey Buster: Just say it Buster: Whatever gloating you wanna do Rio: Will it cheer you up, like Buster: Get it over with Rio: You are funny Rio: I told you I was a good swimmer Buster: Yeah well Rio: Don't be a sore loser, you're quite good too Buster: Shut up Buster: I'm not quite good, I'm good Rio: What am I then Rio: go on Buster: You know how good you are Rio: What's the point of winning if I don't get a prize Buster: What do you want? Rio: Tell me how good I am, that's all Buster: Are you sure you don't want something else? Rio: 😂 Rio: Alright, admit you were wrong, how's that? Buster: Fuck off Rio: Your choice Rio: can't be any fairer, McKenna Buster: I reckon you cheated anyway so Rio: How Rio: jet-propellers? Buster: I don't know yet Rio: 🙄 Rio: lemme know when you work it out Buster: Alright Rio: [🤔 at him] Buster: [shaking his head cos grump] Rio: [pouts] Buster: [looking away hardcore cos he'd give in if he looks at her cute face] Rio: 😡 Rio: come on Buster: You come on Rio: What Buster: Don't make me more mad Rio: I've not done anything wrong Buster: I know but Rio: You're a show-off all the time and I'm not even and you're still angry Rio: I don't get mad at you Buster: I don't wanna be angry Rio: Why are you Rio: it was just for fun Buster: I don't know Rio: Don't ask me to do any more competitions with you Buster: Rio Rio: Its stupid if you end up mad and Rio: just no fun Buster: I won't get mad Rio: You will though Rio: you can't help it Buster: I can try Rio: You should Rio: but just 'cos Buster: Show me how to do it then Buster: If you're as nice as you are good at swimming, it'll be easy for you Rio: I never said I was Rio: I try not to be a bitch Buster: I'm saying you are Buster: So tell me what to do Rio: How to calm down? Rio: What does it feel like, when you get really angry? Buster: Like that's all there is Buster: I'm not even me anymore 'cause I could be watching myself hit something or someone but I can't stop it Buster: I don't really know how to explain it Rio: It sounds Rio: not scary because you don't like that word Rio: you like being the leader though, right? in charge Rio: but being angry is the opposite of that Buster: Yeah Buster: But I don't know how to stay in control when I feel like that Rio: Maybe its working out how you feel right before that Rio: its too late if you feel it but if you work out the before, you could stop it Buster: You mean like when you work out what your opponent is gonna do before they do it Rio: Exactly Rio: some shit that makes you mad, you might be able to avoid, but if you can't then you have to work out when to walk away before you blow up still Buster: Alright Buster: I'll come and find you and then I won't be angry anymore Rio: Yeah Rio: when you're in London, you can message me whenever Buster: You have to swear that you'll always answer Rio: 'Course I will Rio: even when I'm at School Rio: not meant to but I always take my phone in Buster: Me too, it's been confiscated loads Buster: It's so shit that we can't go to school together Rio: I know Rio: you miss loads Buster: What's the point of being angry all the time if it don't mean my mum and dad listen to me? Rio: I'd say they can't listen if you're screaming and shouting but in the case of parents Rio: they never do Buster: Fuck it, come back in the water Buster: I wanna get better at going under Rio: [Does, running like yas 'cos happy 'bout it] Buster: [Gotta let them live their best lives being cute af together in the sea for a bit] Rio: [deffo, all the others would lowkey be too small to do anything but addle so its as close to alone as you're getting rn] Buster: [utterly devastated that you can't kiss under the water though cos someone might still see you] Rio: [so much baby angst] Buster: [Take this degree of privacy and enjoy it while you can though cos at some point your sister will probably appear in the sea to 3rd wheel you again lol] Rio: [god bless you know not what you do] Buster: [I like to imagine while this is going on for them she's crushing on cute little girls at the beach] Rio: [they should all go on a walk, I'm imagining its like a Wells vibe and there's a woods before the beach, then they can go to the front and get chips for tea] Buster: [I like that vibe] Rio: [What would you like to happen/when would you like to skip to next?] Buster: [oooh maybe one of the fam is obvs jokingly like you two are joined at the hip today and they are like OH NO because we said there's clearly a vibe here like] Rio: [I like that, then casually splitting up like that isn't weirder, oh babes] Buster: [way to make it seem even more obvious children] Buster: [cos then we can skip to when they are sleeping under the stars if we want] Rio: [sounds good to me baby] Buster: [omg though such a lame game of truth or dare and never have I ever even worse than the sleepover cos Nancy and Junie are playing this time god bless] Rio: [lmao, just giving each other looks like] Buster: [they should like start playing something sneaky themselves via this like 20 questions or something idk whatever game you can do without alerting the others] Rio: [They could do MASH via messages, and maybe the question game Chloe made up? I'll start if you like] Buster: [I literally was just thinking that they should do something like that cos it's about crushes haha and it's like a less adult shag marry kill] Rio: [less blatant, though they can if they wanna tbh] Rio: Let me tell you your future 🔮🎴 Buster: How? Rio: Pick a future wife, I'll let you have 3 options, as I'm so nice Rio: you have to tell me Buster: I'll either marry a supermodel, famous actress or a WAG, obviously Rio: [whole time clearly putting this info down in her app] Rio: 👍 three cars you'd drive? Buster: Lamborghini, Ferrari and Aston Martin Rio: What colour do you want your car to be, pick three again Buster: Black, silver and Blue Rio: Now just pick three numbers, gives it away if I tell you what for Buster: 31, 6 and 1 Rio: 👍 Three places in the 🌍 Buster: London, Dublin and... Buster: Dubai Rio: Fancy Rio: okay, last one, three jobs you'd wanna have Buster: Lawyer, Footballer and Pub landlord 😏 Rio: Calculating 🧐 Rio 'Once upon a time, you met WAG and got married. You moved to Liverpool and lived in a Apartment. You eventually had 6 kids with WAG. You drove around in a Silver van. You worked as a Footballer until the age of 65, when you retire.' Buster: 😂 Rio: You could have done really badly, you got none of my joke answers, jammy git 😒 Rio: 'cept Liverpool and a van but you know, could be worse Buster: I'll need a van to ferry all those kids about anyway so cheers Rio: Seriously Rio: any more and you need a mini bus so Rio: [sends him the app] Rio: do me Buster: You ready? Rio: Born it Buster: So who are you marrying? Rio: Okay, I'll have my first husband the footballer or he'll be mad, a bazillionaire and Rio: Hmm, just put H.E Buster: What does that mean? Rio: Its initials and not your concern Buster: [IRL 😒 rn] Buster: Cars then Rio: a range rover, a jag and a limo Buster: What colours? Rio: gold, white and red please Buster: 3 numbers Rio: 3, 10 and 2 Buster: And the places you want Rio: LA, Vegas and Home Buster: Okay just jobs left Rio: A mogul, an entrepreneur and a famous just 'cos Buster: Alright, hold on Rio: 😬 Buster: Once upon a time, you met a drunk and got married. You moved to Rome and lived in a Shack. You eventually had 3 kids with the drunk. You drove around in a blue Tesla. And you were a stay at home mum to those 3 kids you had, unlucky, like Rio: 😑 Rio: That's so rude Rio: you've doomed me Buster: It's not gonna come true, babe Buster: You'd never only have 3 kids Buster: Unless he died Rio: SHUT UP Rio: you're horrible Buster: [puts his arm around her like there there but also a shameless excuse] Rio: [such a 😡 face] Buster: [whispers to her to calm down cos throwback to their earlier convo when she was helping him but also a flirty pisstake] Rio: [when you'd wanna push him so hard but cannot 'cos Junie and Nancy are still here living life] Buster: [putting a leftover marshmallow in her mouth like this will cheer you up cos they are his fave but also flirting 5ever] Rio: [at least you can hide any blushing by pretending you're just still fuming] Rio: I'm doing my own, you jinxed me Buster: I didn't Buster: You just wanna put all your secrets crushes in Rio: Why would I keep it a secret Buster: I don't know Buster: Maybe the lads are ugly Rio: Again, why would they be Rio: not blind Buster: You gonna tell me whose initials they are then? Rio: If you like Rio: have to actually know him to put him on your list though, I guess? Rio: or what's the point Buster: I'm not putting any lads on my list Buster: I don't wanna marry 'em whoever they are Rio: Then it don't matter to you then Buster: Tell me Rio: Harry Edwards, his family live near the farmhouse Rio: as near as anyone does Buster: Why do you wanna marry him? Rio: I couldn't think of anyone else Buster: So what made you think of him? Rio: We was playing out the other night Rio: he's got brothers and sisters too Rio: not as many as me but there's like 6 of them Buster: Does he go to your school? Rio: Erm I don't go to school here, do I Buster: You will though Buster: It's obvious your parents are loving being back Rio: It's gotta be good to have some time to themselves Rio: first time in a decade, like Buster: Yeah probably Rio: even if it's like an hour, better than none Buster: You can get loads done in an hour if you want Rio: You can Rio: they probably can't Buster: Most adults can't Rio: Exactly Rio: [hardcore on her phone giving herself a nice future lmao] Buster: [just trying to 👀 cos nosy bitch and we know why] Rio: 'scuse you Buster: Excuse you Buster: You're ignoring me Buster: Not very nice Rio: What? Rio: I was basically 😴 soz Buster: Well I guess I'll have to find something fun to do on my own and let you sleep Buster: Shame Rio: Go on Buster: Goodnight then Rio: Shut up, tell me Buster: Don't tell me to shut up Buster: You're meant to have manners Rio: Why are you being so rude Buster: What are you talking about? Rio: Entertain me Rio: I'm bored Buster: Yeah, now your boyfriend ain't here Rio: When was he ever Buster: [is 😒😡 cos she didn't say he wasn't her boyfriend] Rio: What's the matter, you're bored too Buster: Nah, I have a plan Rio: [nudges him like 'and-'] Buster: You're not coming Rio: Why not Buster: 'Cause Nance and Junior ain't invited either Rio: So Buster: So stay with 'em Buster: If they wake up and we're both gone that's unfair on 'em and looks bad on us Rio: So why do you get to go Buster: 'Cause it was my idea and I don't care if Nance gets angry at me Buster: Or if I get caught Rio: Maybe I have things I wanna do too Rio: I'm not being lookout for you Buster: Don't then Buster: Do what you want Rio: Fine Rio: [gets up with her shizz like good day] Buster: [walking away cos too much drama and he does have a bad plan lol] Rio: [go on] Buster: [his terrible plan is that he's gonna try and break into the golf club that skerries has cos they always fancy but he probably won't be able to do it on his own so he really should stop being a jealous moody bitch about the boyfriend she don't have] Rio: [God bless you tiny child, I assume the adults are keeping an eye so you don't get snatched so you'll probably both get told to go in or go back to sleep now, like] Buster: [cockblocked but in the sense that you need to interact again now it's the opposite haha] Rio: [just laying back down awkwardly like 😒 'cos you're 10] Buster: [furiously looking at the sky, what a mood] Rio: That was your fault Buster: Fuck that Buster: You were making loads more noise than I was Rio: You couldn't have stomped harder if you were wearing 🥾🥾 Buster: You didn't even have anywhere to go Buster: If you'd waited til I left to be dramatic, I'd be halfway to the golf club by now Rio: Well now neither of us is going anywhere Rio: and those places always have sensors everywhere Rio: keep the animals off as well as stupid boys like you Buster: Well cheers Rio: You started it Buster: You started it Buster: Don't blame me Rio: How did I Rio: it was totally you Buster: Shut up Buster: No it wasn't Rio: You were being off with me and then you wouldn't invite me Rio: how is that my fault Buster: You know why Rio: No I don't Rio: you got a nice future and everything, mine was rubbish Buster: I'm not playing again so you can get a nice future with that boy Rio: I don't want him Rio: I'm gonna put a fireman instead Rio: they're brave and they have to be really fit Buster: Until they die and you have to marry again or be alone for the rest of your life Rio: Um well your WAG could die from a botched Brazilian butt lift but I didn't put you off Buster: I wouldn't care if she did so Rio: That's just horrible Rio: she's your wife Rio: think of the six kids, like Buster: If she needs surgery she ain't good enough for me and I regret marrying her Rio: 🙄 Rio: maybe your arse ain't all that Rio: but no one is gonna insist you make it look like you got two balloons down there Buster: You're just being stupid now Rio: You are Buster: You are Buster: I'll grow up to have the best arse going Rio: [probably snorts trying to keep that lol in] Buster: [is 😏] Rio: You're so judgmental, honestly Buster: Why? 'Cause I don't want an insecure ugly wife? Buster: I bet that lad you like is neither Rio: She could be lovely Rio: what then Rio: and I don't know, I've met him a handful of times when we're back in the holidays Buster: You know what he looks like and what you think of it Rio: And? Rio: I know what lots of people look like Buster: And you fancy him so you've made a judgement there Rio: I do not, shut up Buster: Yeah you do Rio: I don't Rio: what would be the point Rio: don't even live here Buster: I didn't say you actually had to marry him Buster: Or that it's something you have any control over Buster: If you like someone you just like 'em Buster: The decisions are after that Rio: Well it's irrelevant because I don't Buster: Well you had the entire time I was doing my answers to think of yours and you still chose him Buster: That's not irrelevant Rio: I don't know, it's just a game, like Rio: not actually gonna come true, is it Buster: I know that Rio: then you were trying to look Rio: I didn't make you tell me all your actual crushes Buster: I didn't ask for any of yours Rio: don't be nosy then Buster: Don't be so fucking mysterious then Rio: You either wanna know or you don't Buster: If you'd used his name in the first place I wouldn't have cared Buster: Initials are like a game within a game Rio: I wasn't being mysterious Rio: 'cos you woulda said who the fuck is Harry Edwards Rio: it makes it more drama than it is Buster: I said that anyway Rio: Just forget I said it Rio: got a drunk anyway didn't I Buster: I can't Rio: Why not Rio: he was just the first boy I could think of Buster: 'Cause I don't want him to be the first boy you think of Buster: Some cunt I don't even know Rio: Well it couldn't be you could it Buster: Don't Rio: I'm sorry Buster: Just don't, Rio Rio: [just looking like ?! and sad but does] Buster: [rolls over dramatically or whatever as if he's going to sleep right now immediately but we know he isn't] Rio: Don't be mad Rio: not for me but 'cos you don't need to Buster: I ain't Rio: you're sleepy now Buster: Not really Rio: Don't you wanna do something then Buster: I don't wanna say something I can't take back Buster: Or do something I said I wouldn't Rio: maybe it'd Rio: I think they're all asleep Buster: [a LOOK and a half bitch] Rio: ['it'd be you' you best be so quiet honey also says a lot but also deniable like, obvs it'd be you, you're right here you know] Buster: [saying her name really quietly like he did last time cos forever a mood] Rio: ['we could-' shakes head, shrugs 'we can do anything we want, right?'] Buster: [gestures for her to come closer like he's so worried she's being too loud but we know that's not the reason cos he's also nodding] Rio: [Obviously does, pressing her forehead to his, not daring to breathe or move another muscle, like] Buster: [I was thinking if we need to stop them from kissing they could always knock heads/one could accidentally headbutt the other when they go in for it cos that's surprisingly common if you're overeager and don't really know what you're doing] Rio: [God bless] Buster: [so much opportunity for pisstaking when they hate each other too] Rio: [sad times but yes] Buster: [throwing him under the bus and saying it's his fault cos he's a prick soon] Rio: [need the ammunition you can get honey] Buster: [don't like actually hurt her with your big head though please] Rio: [lmao casual black eye] Buster: [we don't need to be explaining how that happened] Rio: [oh the shame] Buster: [do look after her and be nice and make sure she's okay while you're still a cute baby egg thank you boy] Rio: [you know in the AM all the adults will be so extra like omg what happened and he's gonna be so mad on the low] Buster: [I hope she's come up with a good lie] Rio: [blame one of the toddlers lmao] Buster: [rude but legit] Rio: [when we were on holiday once connor threw a bratz comb at this girl and it made her eye red and her parents were well salty] Buster: [let's take a moment to savour him saying sorry more and genuinely being more sorry than he will for the next few years] Rio: [god bless all of y'all, is there any more skipping we wanna do in this specific convo] Buster: [we could potentially do the next day like you said but equally don't have to cos we know the vibe]

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kirishwima · 7 years

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Here's a prompt! I've always wondered what Steve was doing in that train right after Bucky fell off. Plus, fast forward to when Bucky pulled Steve out of the river in TWS. What would've happened if Bucky stayed there until Steve regained his senses? :) love uuuu

ajldjoewfjwf I’VE BEEN PLANNING TO WRITE THIS SINCE SUMMER and never got around to woo~ hope you like it babe

******

It’s a simple story, the one of how they met.

He was a small scrawny kid, trying and failing to be social one too many times.

It wasn’t until another hand extended to him, followed by a bright smile from a boy around his age, missing one of his front teeth yet smiling brighter than anything he’d ever seen.

“I’m James, but everyone calls me Bucky!” the grinning boy chirped, “Who are you?”

He stuttered for a second.

“Steve. Everyone calls me Steve?”

Bucky laughed, gripping Steve’s hand in a firm handshake, imitating the one they’d seen adults do in formal greetings.

“Do you want to be friends Steve?”

Steve nodded. He’d very much like to be friends with the boy as bright as sunlight.

And that was it. That’s how they first met.

A couple years straight and they were inseperable. Steve’s mother cared for Bucky like her son, Bucky’s parents embracing the new addition to their family in the form of a petite blonde kid.

That’s how they grew up. Hand in hand, protecting one another, sharing comic books and secrets, lying about curfews to their parents and having each other’s back.

Steve isn’t sure when that line came along. He thinks it was sometime after his first fight, whilst he was sporting a black eye, and Bucky a split lip for intervening.

Steve kept on apologising, telling Bucky to just not get involved in fights that weren’t his, to not get hurt unnecesarily. Bucky laughed at that and waved his hand dismissedly, insisting that any of Steve’s fights would automatically be his-they were always for a good cause anyway.

“Don’t forget-I’m with you ‘till the end of the line.”

So the little children grew. They went from antsy teenagers into full-fledged adults, ready to fight and serve their country in the war spreading across the globe.

Steve always regretted not spending more time with Bucky before he left. He understands that with the circumstances as they were-him suddenly getting accepted into the army, suddenly being experimented on; and changing into this-correspondence with his childhood friend would be hard.

He figured it’ll be okay. The war will end, and with an innocent glee he prayed he’ll meet Bucky on the railway station, bruised and battered but overall okay and alive and he’ll see him grin that lopsided smirk of his and Steve would snort and roll his eyes but bring Bucky in for the tightest hug he could give him.

But then came the news.The man sitting behind a desk, announcing Bucky’s probable death to Steve as just another piece of casual news, as if the entire ground Steve was just standing on didn’t break in half and let the earth engulf him whole.

It’s a feeling Steve can’t, won’t ever forget. As if his entire heart got torn apart, the tears he managed to stop from spilling threatening to burst, chest heaving and suddenly he was back to being the small heaving kid he used to be, only this time there’s no hand rubbing his back, handing him an inhaler and whispering words of reassurance as he calmed.

This time he was alone.

He vowed right then and there that he’d do everything in his power to honour Bucky’s memory, to keep fighting through the pain, through the loss.

He never expected to find the same person he was mourning, strapped down to a table and looking to Steve with wide eyes.

Steve couldn’t help but forget about the surrounding battle, even if just for a moment, a mere second to bring his hands around his best friend and hug him tighter than ever before, hiding into the crook of his neck and feeling the pulse there on his cheek.

*****And so it went on, fighting battle after battle, shoulder by shoulder, talking across battlefields with a simple look.

“It’s impossible!” Their friends would shriek, “it’s like telepathy-you two are having whole conversation without opening your mouths!”

They just laughed, not even trying to explain-was there even a simple way to explain the connection you feel to someone you’ve spent your entire life with?

Some nights, the quiet ones, when they’d have time to just be, Steve would find Bucky by cliffs or rivers, looking up to the night sky with a sagacious look; there’d be the gleam of stars on his skin, bright eyes tinted darker in the moonlight, and Steve’s heart would leap before settling back in his chest, whispering to him-

This is your person.

They’d sit and talk for hours, about life, about childhood memories, about the war and their fears.   He could never think he’ll lose Bucky, not again, he couldn’t go through the same sorrow he felt when he thought he was gone.

That time, on that mountaintop; he still remembers Bucky’s smile, soft and private, that glint in his eye that reassured Steve that ‘we’ll make it out alive, like we always do’.

He remembers wanting to hug him, to let the words slip from his mouth, a soft ‘thank you, for being here, for being with me, for grasping my hand and never letting go’-he decided not to with a quick shake of his head, knowing there would always be the chance of saying it after.

But after never came.

The next thing he knew was Bucky’s scream as he hung onto the railings, he remembers his own shrieks, his efforts to reach Bucky to pull him up, he remembers Bucky’s face, the quiet resignation, that damn conversation they had with just a gaze.

Bucky was telling this was it. He had to accept it. Steve was saying he’d never do that.

When he saw his best friend, his person, fall into a white abyss; his world went blank.

His body run on autopilot, his mind empty and vision blurry.The next thing he knew he was curled into a corner of the train, a spew of mauled bodies, wounds he never remembered inflicting, his blonde locks dyed red on the tips he was pulling with bloodied fingers.

That’s how his team found him, numb and shaking, unable to even put up a front.

They understood, or they tried to at least; Steve wasn’t the only person to lose someone in this war. They lost friends, loved ones, family and lovers. And when Bucky was gone, they too lost a friend.

But it was so much more than that for Steve.

Bucky was his everything. He was childhood crushes and butterflies in his stomach, laughter with missing teeth when the baby ones started falling out. It was the strong arms that’d lift him off the ground after a fight gone bad, the heat over his cheeks and chest when he first noticed the beginning of a stubble on his best friend’s jaw and the muscle building up under his clothes.

It was the complete heartache and tears at the thought of his best friend dying, the tears of joy when he recovered him again, when he found him and clenched his hands once more.

Bucky was Steve’s world.

And he was just thrown out into space without an oxygen tank.

*******

There’s not much that he knows.

There’s even fewer things he remembers.There’s one recurrent memory in his head; it’s cold, and his body’s trembling with fear, or exhaustion, or both.

At some point the fear turns to an eerie calm, and his body stops shaking-he’s falling, he thinks.

As he falls there’s an icy blue in his vision, laced with a voice he’s supposed to remember, so raw with emotion it makes his heart leap-

One moment he’s screaming, reaching out, and the next he’s on solid ground, vision blurry and white tainted with red, a mind-numbing pain coursing through his back and arms, setting every muscle, every tendon ablaze with jolts of electricity.

He could remember mumbling someone’s name over and over, even as each nerve in his body jolted, as the gaping gap on his side was switched to heavy metal, even as his mind felt like a broken record-he kept calling out a name.

But then the memory’s gone, if it even is one.

He has no memories.No emotions.

He’s no person.

Just a killing machine.

He knows nobody, has no friends.

Only missions.

“Good morning soldier.”

He takes a breath, eyes opening.

“Ready to comply.”

******

He finds himself up on a bridge, gun in his hand, eyes set on target.

He locks eyes with an icy blue, the very same one that’s been haunting the beginning of his shattered memories.

The blur around the face that tried to save him clears, the blue stripe toggles down into a pair of eyes looking straight at him, begging, pleading him to put a name to them.

“Bucky?” the voice asks and it’s so familiar, it’s a lifetime of sounds, he remembers it laughing and calling this name over and over, in a multitude of situations;

But this name isn’t his. He has no name.

He only has a mission.

******

Steve locked eyes with the man he’d been fighting, his eyes widening when the assailant took off his mask and looked towards him, the face Steve would remember for a lifetime looking back at him.

It didn’t matter that decades had gone by.It didn’t matter that his hair was longer, his eyes haunted, his jaw clenched.

Steve would recognise him anywhere.

“Bucky?”

He called the name by instinct, and in the way the man’s eyes widened even for a mere fraction of a second, Steve knew it was second nature to him too, to respond to that name, to turn with a smile or sometimes a coy grin even, responding with a teasing ‘Yes, Stevie?’

It reminded him of that time, a few days after Bucky was presumed dead, after Steve had to give up searching, wishing, willing.

He sat in that very same bar they once went to, only this time he was alone, no Bucky nudging him with his elbow, no friends that’d laugh along their antics.

It was just him and a bottle of Jack, until a pair of footsteps walked in, heels clacking onto wood until a figure came to sit beside him.

“You’re mourning” she said, her statement laced with sympathy.   “I am. Of course I am, it’s-it’s so ironic”, he breathed a bitter laugh, gazing to the side to meet Peggy’s frown, “So many years of friendship, and I never had the guts to tell him I loved him.”

And now it’s too late.

But he’s here, he’s here right now, and Steve could tell that Bucky recognised him too.

But the recognition he saw in those eyes was gone in an instant, eyebrows furrowing as he charged towards Steve.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” he asked as he charged ahead, voice rough, cold.

 This is Bucky.

But it’s not his Bucky.

*******

 He’s standing face to face with him now.

He knows this is his Bucky, the one he grew up with, the one that ruffled his hair and cleaned up his wounds after fights, the one that’d bump shoulders with him and hug him when his anxiety got the better of him.

It’s the person he knows, but at the same time, it’s not.

Bucky-The Winter Soldier, is standing across him, expression blank, the safety on his guns clicked off and his body stiff, ready for a fight.

“Please don’t make me do this”, Steve pleads, trying to look for any sign of recognition in his eyes.

But there is none.And so Steve fights.

He tried to avoid hurting him, tried to stay on the defence only while not abandoning his mission, but Bucky persisted, landing blows and firing his guns at any critical point of Steve’s body he could find, gritting his teeth when his blows where met with the clanking metal of Steve’s shield.

There was no choice but to fight, to land heavier punches, to push Bucky’s arms down and stun him, even if the sound of his screams broke Steve into a million pieces, knowing that he’s the cause of this pain, that the voice he knew once now yelled and screamed, eyes locked onto him with a menace.

Steve couldn’t resent Bucky even when he shot him, the pain registering moments after blood seeped through his abdomen and over his suit, the blue turning burgundy as his limbs weakened.

He couldn’t resent him even when, after freeing him from the metal scraps that broke of the helicarrier and trapped him, Bucky’s first instinct was to get up and attack him, teeth bared and metal fist raised.

He couldn’t resent him even when he felt his consciousness slip, punch after punch raising on his cheeks, the blood loss making him see double.

You can’t resent the one you love.Not when you’d willingly lay your life down for them to step on, in hopes of catching a glimpse of their soft gaze when they walk past.

“You’re my mission”, he said.

“Then finish it”, Steve breathed, “because I’m with you, ‘till the end of the line.”

*****

Mission.Target.

End.

Mission report: Undergoing

missionmismiss-

Steve.Steve Rogers.

Mission.Stevie.

James Bu-B-Jabes-James-Barnes-Buchanan-

James Buchanan Barnes.

Buck-Bucky?

There’s a tug at the back of his brain and it hurts dammit, every single fiver of his being is begging him to stop, to not mess with memories that shouldn’t be there in the first place, but his mission-his-his Steve is still talking, still pulling at the locked up Pandora’s box hidden so deep and it’s unlocking slowly at first but now it stings, it’s like there’s a litany of cables scattered in his head electrocuting him one by one and he just wants them to stop all he wants is to just stop-

“You know me.” the man says.

“No I don’t!” he screams, fist colliding with the man’s shield.

“Bucky”, he says that damned, cursed name again, breathing heavily, “You’ve known me your whole life.”

Another punch, this time meeting the man’s face.

“Your name, is James Buchanan Barnes.”

His brain hurts, the sound of that voice, of this name makes him wince, and he lunges forward.

“Shut up!”

Another punch.

The man falls, gets up, stumbles, breathing deeply and struggling to get his bearings.

Then he does the one thing he wasn’t expecting him to do.

He drops his shield, the only barrier between Bucky’s attacks and him, arms falling to his side in surrender.

“I’m not gonna fight you. You’re my friend.”

He doesn’t let the man, the mission, change its mind, before he dashes to him, grabbing him by the waist and dropping him onto the side of the helicarrier, glass shards seeping into both their skins.

And so he punches.

He yells.

He hurts him. His target.It’s what he’s good at.

It’s what he’s supposed to do.

But then come pictures, images of the bloodied man beneath him, only younger, smiling, holding the hand of a boy he cannot recognise but feels so oddly familiar and there’s a surge of emotions he doesn’t want, doesn’t need and it’s all too much-

“You’re my mission!” he screams, trying to find his bearing between all the jumbled thoughts, landing hit after hit onto the face that’s so oddly familiar, even with the purple bruises and split bloodied lips.

There’s tears pooling in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill until-

“Then finish it. Because I’m with you ’till the end of the line.”

It’s Steve.

It’s his Steve.

The pain halts and there’s just numbness trickling in, recognition now pulsing in his blood as his fist is left to hang mid-air, a panic surging in his chest.

There’s no time to comprehend what happened, the next moment finds breaking glass and the limp body-Steve’s, Steve’s body, sliding down with no warning, Bucky grabs at it pointlessly and it brings back images of a hand reaching out for his, Steve’s eyes locked onto his, glassy from shock and unshed tears, begging Bucky to just hold on, to not let go but it’s too late and he slips, slips just like Steve just did, falling into infinite depths-

He doesn’t think it through.

He jumps, and pleads whatever forces are out there to just make it in time.One last repent for the sins he never wanted to commit.

*******His mind isn’t exactly clear, but it’s clearer.

You know that feeling?That post-shock numbness, the calm that stills your very soul?

Bucky thinks that’s what this feeling is.

There’s metal scraps around him, some even still set ablaze as they fall into murky muddy waters, the very same ones he’d thrown himself into, swimming to shore with another body laying limp in his arms, but with a pulse albeit weakened, breathing even if raspy and short.

He lays the body down onto the ground, taking a moment to breathe, exertion overcoming his every muscle.

With a grunt, he nudges the unconscious person to their side, landing loud thuds to their back with the heel of his palm until they cough out water, breaths somewhat easing but eyes still pulled shut.

It’s for the best, he figures, it’s for the best he won’t open his eyes.

This way he won’t have to see what’s become of Bucky.

He ripped up some fabrics from his clothes, wrapping them tightly around the mans’ midsection, hoping it’s enough to still the bleeding that turned his outfit red.

There’s not much else he can do after that.

He could leave-he should leave, he knows that, his fight-or-flight instinct kicking in.

But there’s something, a voice he can’t comprehend somewhere in his chest that’s begging him to stay.

And so he does.

He takes a good look at the man’s face as he sits besides him, back resting against a tree log.

It’s the same face he remembers.

The memories are blurry at best, but this face-for some reason it’s clear like sea water, the messy blond hair, the long lashes, the sturdy build and arched eyebrows.

It’s Steve.

Steve is the person in his memories, the one that tried to pull him away from imminent death, the one that screamed as he fell.

He remembers a younger, scrawnier Steve, eyes crinkling and grin wide and bright, as he held a sketchbook in his one hand and a pencil in another; the drawing on the paper looked to be someone he recognised, a face he knows but younger, hair pulled back and half-lidded eyes looking to the side.It’s him, he figures, Steve was drawing him, showing him the drawing proudly after Bucky commented on how amazing his art skills were.

He remembers a first aid kid, gauzes and flasks of whiskey in his breast pocket, laughing as he patted the soaked fabric onto bloodied knuckles and ripped skin.

The face resting besides him now is different, older; but still so similar.

He went to put a hand over the black eye Steve was sporting, but halted.

The hand wasn’t made of flesh and bone.

It was whirring metal and rods.

It was dripping blood, as red as the star on his shoulder.

This hand didn’t deserve to touch anyone.

He didn’t deserve to be there.

He made to get up, grunting with effort as all of his own wounds started to put strain on his body, but the moment he got up, he heard a groan, saw a fluttering of eyelids as a warm blue turned to greet him.

Steve tried to get up, frantically throwing a hand towards Bucky’s way.

“Don’t-“ he groaned, “Don’t go-“

He stood still, locking eyes with Steve.

Slowly he sat back down, breaking eye contact to look to the sky, darkened with smoke from the fire.

“I hurt you.”

Steve shook his head, sighing.

“It wasn’t your fault. What they did to you, they brain-washed you-that wasn’t you.”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that I did what I did.”

“It doesn’t affect the actions themselves, no. But it was nothing you did by choice. You weren’t in control then.”

Bucky huffed a laugh, his lips strained as they forced a smile.

“Am I in control now?”

Steve huffed, eyes locked on Bucky even if he didn’t dare turn to face him, locks of hair falling to his side.

“You’re not trying to fight me, are you?”They sat in silence for a while.

Steve let out a long sigh, back hunching forward.

“This brings back memories” he breathed, looking to Bucky for any sign of recognition, “We’d sit by riversides at night and talk until morning. It was our way of getting through the day”, he added when noticing the questioning gaze.

“You know”, Steve continued, voice more somber, looking to the graveyard of metal the water had become, “I spent days looking for you. I begged everyone to go back down there, look for any sign of you, but there was nothing. Not even a drop of blood.”

“They said it’s because the snow piled up, but I couldn’t just leave it at that, not when I didn’t even have a body to bury, to mourn for..” Steve’s voice broke, the forced smile on his lips falling.

Bucky turned to look at him, but made no attempt to move, to wrap an arm around his shoulders and comfort him like they did before.

Steve put a hand through his hair, laughing at the absurdity of it all as he continued to speak with a shaky voice.

“I loved you. God dammit, all these years and and I never told you when I could’ve-I’m sorry.”

“I-“ Bucky started, voice hoarse from un-use, “I think I did too.”

Steve’s breath hitched.

“I cant remember much…I’m trying but everything’s so jumbled up. But I loved you too. I’m sure I did.”

Neither of them knows what to say.

There’s a still, the sound of water splashing on shore and scraps of metal grazing over one another as some get washed up in front of them.

The sun’s getting low, pink hues clashing with dark as the light fades, and they breathe in each other’s presence.

“So…now what?” Steve asked.

“Now I leave, and you go back.”

“Back?”

Bucky nodded. “Back to where you should be. Where you belong.”

Steve contemplated his next words.

“You could come back with me. You can belong there too.”

Bucky smiled, soft and gentle and reminding Steve of all that he’s missed.

“I can’t do that Steve. I don’t-I. Don’t even know who I am right now. I don’t belong.”

“I could help you.”

“I know.”

There was a sense of resignation in both their voices, knowing what the end would be but postponing it as far as they could push it.

There’s that unspoken communication again, Bucky’s plead of ‘let me do this on my own’ and the more secret, more well hidden ‘I’m afraid’ and Steve wants to say a million things but nods instead, their conversation fluid, found in the way they breathe and look at one another, like long-lost lovers that found each other after millenia, only to be separated again.

Steve shifted to face Bucky, sticking out a hand with his pinky finger raised.

Something clicked in Bucky as he follows Steve’s lead, locking his pinky finger with his.

This was their thing, back when they were little kids and made that promise to one another, the promise to always be there, to keep each other from harms’ way, locking pinkies something they swore to be the highest level of an oath they could take at the time.

“Promise me,” Steve started, looking down to their linked hands, “Promise me that you’ll come to me when you need me. That you won’t try and carry everything by yourself, not again, not this time. I..I won’t force you to come with. But know it’s not a cross you have to carry by yourself.”

Bucky sighed.“I promise.”

“Good. And remember-“

“I’m with you, ‘till the end of the line.”

******

its 1.30am and words are startign to look unreal so sorry for any typos/syntax errors :^) hope u like it

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#asks #prompts #Guac #Stucky #Stucky fic #steve rogers #bucky barnes #captain America #winter soldier #captain America the winter soldier #ca: tws #stucky fan fiction #captain america fan fiction #Bucky barnes fic #fanfics #IDK WHAT TO TAG *shrug* ill probably post this on ao3 tomorrow as well <3 #ibreathestucky

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