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wlntrsldler · 3 years

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treacherous (j.p one shot)

PROMPT: based on treacherous by taylor swift. slight enemies to lovers? James Potter and Y/N can’t stand each other until they get to know each other.

A/N: does not follow the timeline at all. the events are not accurate but let’s pretend for the sake of the fic lol.

WARNINGS: mentions of death, a bit of wolfstar, and some sexual tension (brief)

WC: 5.6K+ (this is my longest fic yet omg)

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST

treacherous (j.p one shot)

“You’re so goddamn reckless.” James hissed, slamming his fists down on the kitchen table. “You need to wait for my command. This wasn’t a solo mission, Y/N/N. We work as a fucking team around here.”

“If I waited for your command, Prongs,” you replied, rising from your seat. You acknowledged his nickname with a bitter taste in your mouth. You knew you had to listen to James because everyone listens to James but you knew your plan would work. “We wouldn’t have gotten the mission done.”

“You went rogue!”

“But we got it done, right?” you seethed, eye drilling holes in Prongs’ skull. You felt Sirius offer a comforting hand, placing his on top of yours. Your eyes flickered to look at your best friend, features visibly softening. You sighed, slowly feeling yourself come down from your anger. “That’s the important thing, Prongs. I’m done talking about this.”

“Yeah we got it finished but at what cost?” James pushed, not backing down from his dominant exterior. “You could’ve died, Y/N. We don’t trade lives around here.”

“You don’t have to act like you care about my well-being, Potter,” you spat, starting to limp away from the briefing. You sustained some minor injuries because of your decision but you knew you’d do it again if it came down to it. “We all know you just don’t want another person’s blood on your hands.”

It was a low blow. Everyone in the house knew that James was feeling guiltier and guiltier everyday because of the events that happened over the past few months. The McKinnons, the Prewetts, his fight with some Order members— all of it was finally taking a toll on James. Maybe it always did take a toll on him and he just never showed that it did. Nobody really knew what the last straw was but now it was obvious— James Potter was tired, worn out, almost defeated in nature.

Yeah, what you said was a low blow.

James gulped, demeanor changing after your words rattled the room. Remus looked at James apologetically, not really knowing what to say. He didn’t expect that from you, nobody did. Lily cleared her throat, fixing the scattered parchment on her side of the table. Sirius stood up and patted James on the back, giving his shoulder a slight squeeze.

“Right, uhm..” he started, blinking back the effect of your words. “We can revisit this some other time. Great job today.”

James left the room without another word, your voice taunting him as he walked further and further away from the team. Is that what you really think of him? A leader, if that, who only cared about not being the person responsible for another death? Did you think that he didn’t care about you? That you were just a number to him?

Obviously you didn’t. You knew James Potter was a good man, deep down. You could see it in the way he put everyone’s needs before his. He wakes up every morning and gets everything done so the rest of you wouldn’t be burdened with such mundane things. James Potter cooked meals, cleaned the house you all shared, and bought groceries on the weekends because he thinks that you all fighting with him is something he can never repay you for. James Potter thinks that your trust as a team— as a family— is the most important thing in the universe and he’s so thankful that he has you all by his side, even if the whole world disagrees with your cause. James Potter is a good man.

You had a loud mouth. You found yourself, more times than you’d like to admit, scolding yourself after you let your mouth run amuck. This was one of those times. You let your anger get the best of you. The only reason why you even got angry with James in the first place was his lack of trust in you. Did he not think you could complete the task successfully?

“Y/N?” A voice from outside of your room called. You tried to get up from your bed, cursing as the pain shot through your right leg. “Hey, you in there?”

“Yeah,” you yelled out, realizing that it would be better for them to let themselves in rather than you try to open it for them. “Come in.”

Sirius entered, chuckling at your pained expression as you sat up in your bed. You glared at him, propping your injured leg on top of a pillow. “You good there, sweetheart?”

“Just dandy.”

He sat next to you, careful not to touch your leg. He smiled at you, sadly, and you knew what was coming next. A lecture as to why you should apologize to James or at the very least take his point of view under consideration. This was almost normal, and it was definitely expected. You and Sirius grew close, attached to the hip at times, and he was the one who would typically talk some sense into you. You knew that he and James were the blueprint of what an everlasting friendship should look like so you listened to him. Rarely were you ever the first one to apologize, though, but you knew this time was going to be one of those times.

“What you said to James..” he trailed off, eyebrows furrowing in worry. “I think he kinda took it to heart, Y/N.”

“I know,” you sighed, acknowledging your mistake. “I don’t know why I even said that.”

“You don’t like to use your brain when you’re angry.” Sirius responds, laughing slightly. You push his shoulder playfully. “Just apologize to him, Y/N. You know he means well.”

“I know he does.”

“So I’ll leave you to it then,” he announced, getting up to leave your room. “He’s in his room, locked himself in there since the meeting.”

Ouch. You felt the guilt start to eat you up. Sirius shot you a warm smile before shutting the door behind him. Groaning, you lifted yourself up, trying to ignore the swelling in your leg. Was it the smartest idea to walk on an injured leg? No, but you were never one to have smart ideas anyway and today’s events made that clear.

You started to make your way down to James’ room but stopped when you saw him exiting the bathroom. You began to walk towards him, gasping in pain when your foot landed the wrong way.

“Goddamnit, James!” you shuffled towards him, gaining some speed. He stopped to see who was calling him. His face paled when he realized it was you and continued to walk towards his room. “Will you wait for me?”

James stopped in his tracks, feeling bad that you were chasing him with a bad leg. He waited patiently as you limped towards him, an annoyed look on his face. “What do you want, Y/N?”

You blinked, not expecting the harsh tone he was using. No matter how many times you and James argued and were at each other’s throats, his harsh tone always surprised you. He raised his voice, yeah, sure, but this— this was different. You tried to ignore it, knowing that you probably deserved this. “I just wanted to say sorry for what I said earlier.”

He froze up, looking down at his feet. He glanced over at your leg, red with bruises littered over your skin. God you were lucky you didn’t die, he thought. James shrugged, “I don’t care, Y/N. Is that all?”

“Well, blimey,” you snorted, already putting up your harsh exterior, “I was trying to be nice. Get that stick out your ass.”

“Are you done?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

That was it.

James walked away and entered his room before you even moved. You were left to crawl your way back to your room, quite literally. Half way through, the pain in your leg traveled to your hip and you gave up on walking. Remus found you dragging your body across the carpet and took it upon himself to carry you back to your bedroom. You thanked him, half-heartedly, not being able to forget James’ hurt expression from your sorry-excuse of an apology.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were all supposed to win the fight. You were supposed to reconcile and have a drink at the house, continuing to dance the night away. You weren’t supposed to lose.

Half of the people you knew were gone. Poof. Like they never existed.

You, Lily, and James stayed in the Potters’ home, resting after a long day of fighting. Dumbledore left to check on the Order, or what was left of them. Molly and Arthur joined him. Peter was— Merlin knows where. Sirius left to check on Remus. The world seemed so quiet. Empty.

“It’s not the end,” Lily tried to say, looking between you and James. She paced the floor, unsure if she even believed her own words.

There hasn’t been much spoken between the ones who survived. You started to wonder if you were one of the lucky one who survived or if this fate was more unlucky given the circumstances. You lost people you called your family. You all did.

This was a battle none of you expected. It was a surprise attack on the Order during a time when you all had your guards down. One minute, you were all in the backyard, excited as the Weasley’s announced another addition to their already large family. People were dancing, cheering, drinking, and for a moment it seemed normal.

And then they came. They slaughtered everyone that they could. You were lucky enough to get out before it got too crazy. You ushered the young kids into the room, casting protective charms as you held onto Percy Weasley with your other hand. You watched people fall. You heard people scream in terror as they were being tortured. You shielded the kids from looking out the window, afraid that if they were to see something so traumatizing, they would never recover. You were sure it would take years before you would.

“I’m gonna help Euphemia out,” Lily announced, getting up from her seat. You knew there wasn’t much that Euphemia needed help with, Lily just felt restless and she wanted to do something that she could control.

James nodded silently, staring at his shaking hands. There have only been a handful of moments where you’ve seen James Potter— confident, self-assured, James Potter— doubt himself or be nervous.

The first time was when he put on the Sorting Hat in your first year and he pleaded the tattered hat to place him in Gryffindor, though the hat knew better than to place him anywhere else. Then, second year came around and you four found out that Remus was a werewolf. You accidentally overheard their conversation, and it confirmed the suspicions you’ve had for a year. The third time was in fifth year when Sirius made the stupidest mistake of his life and told Snape about the Whomping Willow. He was afraid he’d lose his second family because of it, and he knew that Remus’ anger was justified. And the last time, before today, that you’ve ever seen James Potter nervous was in seventh year. It was the day after his date with Lily— a date that took him years to convince her to go on— and he realized that they were not compatible at all. Poor bloke was afraid to hurt Lily’s feelings and when he finally told her, she laughed and said, “I know, Potter. I’m glad you see it now.”

Now, you were alone with a terrified James Potter and you didn’t know what to do. You stared at him from across the room, unsure of your next step. You cleared your throat, “Do you need me to do anything, Potter?”

“Huh?” he looked up, eyes weary and mind jumbled. He registered your question and he shook his head, “No, I’m alright. Um, are you going to be staying here tonight?”

You gulped, “Yeah, if that’s alright. I-I don’t really have a place to stay, but if you want me to leave I’m sure I can stay with Remus and Sirius.”

“No, no, it’s perfectly fine,” James replied, quickly, getting up from his seat, “I’m sure mum and dad won’t mind. Please, make yourself at home.”

“I appreciate that,” you sent him a tight-lipped smile and rocked back and forth from your heels to your toes, ignoring the pain that shot up your leg with every move.

“I’m gonna help mum.”

“Okay.”

He left you in the room, rushing to help his mother, but you had a feeling it was to save the both of you from the awkwardness of the situation. Sighing, you began to make your way to your room upstairs. You were half way out the room when suddenly, the room was filled with your friends. Some of the remaining members of the Order popped in, stopping you from completing your plans.

“Well, welcome back everyone,” you remarked, sitting on the couch. “Nice to see you.”

James, Lily, and Euphemia all entered once they heard the commotion. James stayed by the doorframe, arms crossed as he watched Dumbledore take center. Lily and Euphemia sat beside you, on opposite sides. Euphemia gave your leg a light squeeze and a kiss on your temple.

“As you all know, today’s attack caused mass casualty,” your old professor started, eyes flickering to empty spots in the room that the old members used to occupy. “To prevent such things, we will assign teams to designated areas. We can no longer put all our eggs in one basket. We need to prepare.”

Dumbledore continued, “Euphemia, you and Fleamont stay with Mad-Eye. He needs your expertise. Remus and Sirius, your flat is near the Black family home, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Sirius replied, “Wanted to be close, just in case.”

Regulus. Sirius wanted to be close to look after Regulus.

The old wizard nodded, “Very well. You two stay there and make note of any movement. We suspect they’re having meetings there. Lily, Dorcas, and Peter, you three will be taking care of Hogwarts students who live in the muggle world. They’re in Hogwarts for sanctuary, but since Minerva and myself are going to be preoccupied, we need you to make sure they’re safe.”

“What a reunion, aye gang?” Dorcas chuckled, though her laugh was empty. Lily snorted, shoving her lightly as a move of endearment.

“James and Y/N, we need you two here. This will be our headquarters.”

Sirius scoffed, “Professor, are you sure you’d want to pair Prongs and Y/N/N? We’ve already lost a lot of Order members and I’m afraid that if you pair them, we’ll lose one more. One of them will end up killing the other.”

“Shut it, Pads,” you glared, scrunching your nose, “I’m sure Potter and I can be civil.”

“I can be,” James added, side-eyeing you.

“What does that mean?” you questioned, squinting your eyes at the boy by the door. You began to get up but Euphemia stopped you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“James,” she said, warningly.

“Alright,” Dumbledore clapped his hands, calling the attention back to him, “I expect you all to be at your posts by tonight. Stay safe, everyone. Our numbers are dwindling by the hour.”

By 11PM, the house was empty. It was only you and James left. You locked yourself in the comfort of your room, staring wordlessly at the ceiling. The house was unusually quiet. There was no loud laughter coming from the living room— four boys who had to grow up too fast. You sighed, swinging your legs down the side of your bed, wincing as you forgot about your injuries.

“Fuck me,” you muttered, closing your eyes for a moment until the pain subsided. Once it became bearable, you slipped on your house shoes and made your way down the stairs. You tried to tiptoe down the stairs, not wanting to wake James and go through another awkward encounter. However, once you got to the entrance of the kitchen, you realized your efforts made no sense as James leaned against the cold counter, a cup of tea in hand, and his glasses fogged by the steam from his drink.

His eyes flickered over to where you stood, suddenly making you feel self-conscious. You were wearing nothing but pajama shorts and a large t-shirt that you were sure once belonged to Sirius. James raised his cup a bit as a sign of acknowledgement.

You smiled awkwardly and poured yourself a glass of water, “What are you doing up?”

“I reckon for the same reason you are,” he replied, taking a sip from his tea. James snickered, “Nice shirt.”

“It’s Padfoot’s,” you chuckled, “Don’t tell him I still have it.”

“Actually,” James started, placing his drink down. He faced you, “It’s mine. I let him borrow it and I asked for it a few times now. He keeps telling me he’ll give it to me later but I had a feeling he was stalling because he lost it. Mystery solved.”

You blushed, “Sorry, did you want it back?”

“No, it’s alright. Looks good on you,” he coughed, ducking his head to hide the slight blush on his cheeks, “Can’t sleep?”

“No.”

James nodded, “Yeah, me either. You can sit with me for a bit, if you want.”

You pondered it for a moment until you finally decided that a conversation with James Potter was better than staring at an empty ceiling for the rest of the night. You limped to the seat in front of him, clutching your glass of water like a lifeline.

“Are you still hurt?” James questioned, getting up to help you to your seat. He held your arm as you sat on the chair. Once you were situated, he knelt beside you, inspecting your leg, “You are still hurt. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“It’s not a big deal,” you sighed, rubbing the back of your neck in embarrassment. “We all had bigger things to worry about.”

“Why didn't you just cast a spell on it?”

“I’m not the best healer around,” you admitted, looking down at him.

If it was any other circumstance, you would not have admitted your shortcomings to anyone— especially not James Potter. But perhaps it was the toll that the war had put upon you or the tiredness in your system… Or perhaps it was the way he was staring at you from his position on the floor, eyes wide with worry with the candlelight reflecting off his glasses and the look of absolute beauty on his face, that made you become so brutally honest.

“And why didn’t you ask one of us to help you?”

You scoffed, “Well, none of you are licensed healers, either. I figured I’d just live with it until it healed the muggle way.”

“Always so prideful, you are,” he chuckled, pulling out his wand. He muttered a simple incantation and then studied your once injured limb. “There. Better?”

You looked down at it, pleasantly surprised that it was indeed better. You nodded, a skeptical look on your face. James dusted off his pajama pants and made his way over to the seat he occupied before. You tilted your head, “Where did you learn that?”

“I learned for Remus,” James said, “After his transformations, sometimes he would still be in pain from turning so I learned a few things to help him. Sometimes it helped, sometimes it didn’t but Remus always says that just the thought that I wanted to help him helped with his recovery. Load of rubbish, I say but who am I to decide that, right?”

“Wow.”

James laughed at your reaction, drinking from his tea once more. A playful smile appeared on his lips, “I do have a heart, you know. I’m sure everyone else can see that but you.”

You rolled your eyes, “I know you have a heart, Potter. That’s not why I can’t stand you.”

“Enlighten me then.”

“Well, Godric, where do I start?” you hummed, a laugh escaping your throat. Now it was his turn to roll his eyes, smirking at your answer. You bit your lip, “Let’s see… you’re arrogant, cocky, obnoxiously loud. You act like you know everything, all the time.”

His eyebrows shot up. James’ tongue poked out to dampen his cracked lips, “Don’t hold back, I guess.”

“Shut up,” you chuckled, “Your turn. Why do you hate me?”

“Because you hate me.”

“Come off it,” you stared at him, shaking your head. “Why do you really hate me?”

“Seriously, that’s it. I only act like I don’t like you because you don’t like me. I don’t actually hate you, you know.”

You were in shock. Your voice came out as a whisper, “Really?”

“Really yeah,” he shrugged, as if his confession was nothing, “You love Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, and all our friends like they’re family to you. I can tell you’re a genuinely good person with how you treat the most important people in my life. I can’t hate a good person.”

You pursed your lips, “Well, I only dislike you because you act like I’m not a good witch.”

“What?”

“Come on, James,” you gestured with your hands. “You act like I’m a bloody awful witch and an even worse person. Always have since we were in Hogwarts. I just always assumed you thought I wasn’t good enough.”

James was baffled, “Are you being serious right now?”

“I mean, yeah,” you began to explain, thinking back to the many moments in the past where he made you feel that way. “I remember when we first all found out about Remus. I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone but you still followed me for two months to make sure I didn’t say anything because you didn’t trust me. Or whenever Sirius would tell you to ask me for help on a prank that required some advanced charms, you would refuse to let me participate like I couldn’t possibly be any help to you. Or more recently, when we had that task to do and you blew up on me for not following the intended plan. You don’t think I’m capable.”

“Y/N, I never thought I made you feel that way,” James frowned. “I was just really scared for Remus. Even as a second year, I knew that he was going to be my best friend for life and I just wanted to protect him. I didn’t let Sirius drag you into our pranks because I knew you were aiming for a spotless record at Hogwarts. I didn’t wanna get you in trouble because honestly, a prank that didn’t end with at least one of us in detention was a failed prank.”

“Oh,” you squeaked, “I didn’t know that was where your mind was.”

“Yeah,” James continued, “A-and as for the last task, I just didn’t want you hurt. We’ve lost enough people already. I’d hate to lose you, too.”

“Careful, Prongs,” you teased, swirling the water around in your glass, “You’re gonna make me think you actually like me.”

“I do, yeah,” he admitted, “I’m quite fond of you.”

The both of you stayed silent after those words left his lips. It wasn’t awkward, it was comfortable. It was the first time you two had a proper conversation and you learned things about each other that you never imagined. James continued to sip on his tea and you stared at each other from across the counter. You smiled at him, admiring the redness of his cheeks.

“Well,” you finally said, standing up. You placed the empty glass in the sink and made your way to the stairs, “I think I’ll turn in for the night.”

James smiled, showing off his perfect teeth, “Goodnight, Y/N/N.”

“Goodnight, Prongs,” you returned his smile, turning your back on him. Before you reached the first step, you turned back around, “James?”

“Mhm?”

“I think I can grow quite fond of you too.”

James’ eyes flickered from his tea to your face, his cheeks completely flushed pink by now. He bit the corner of his bottom lip, trying to suppress his smile. He chuckled, shaking his head, making his curls bounce around. You willed yourself to remember that image because it was the first time that you truly saw James Potter for who he was.

Over the next few weeks, you and James began to grow closer. Your late night conversations almost became mandatory. He began to leave a cup of tea for you across from him where you sat the first night. It took him precisely three nights to finally make your cup the way you liked it without being told. He started to light the fireplace in the living room after seeing goosebumps rise on your skin a week and a half after the first night. Then by the third week of your traditions, he began to walk you up to your bedroom door to wish you a goodnight there.

Sirius and Remus didn’t come to check in until a month later. Sirius, as always, made himself feel at home by raiding the kitchen and eating the food that you and James made earlier. Remus laughed from the living room, muttering about how Sirius acts like he doesn’t feed him.

Sirius sat beside James, peering over the pile of parchment on the side of his desk. He nudged his best friend’s shoulder, “Surprised you and Y/N haven’t killed each other yet.”

James blushed, “She’s not so bad, Pads.”

“Oh, I know that,” he hummed, taking a bite out of the biscuit in his hand, “Glad you know it now, too.”

“I never thought she was bad,” James frowned, placing his quill down to properly talk to Sirius, “Why does everyone think that I do?”

“Prongsie, darling, you would always shut up whenever she’d walk in. You’d avoid her like the plague.”

“I just knew she didn’t like me, that’s all. Figured that if I shut up, she’ll see that I’m not so bad.”

“Huh… Why did you want her to like you so bad anyway?” Sirius asked, sitting on the desk now, disregarding the work that James had done. He waited patiently for James to answer, but the answer never came. Instead, James’ cheeks flushed pink and the boy tried to hide his flustered expression by pretending to massage his temples. Sirius’ eyes widened and he jumped off the desk with excitement plastered over his face, “You fancy her! Merlin, how did I not see it before?! You fancy Y/N/N!”

“Will you—” James shushed Sirius, pulling him down by the fabric of his shirt. He was starting to draw attention to himself. James saw Remus stare at the two boys, puzzled as to why Sirius was running around like a dog. James wouldn’t be surprised if he turned into Padfoot just to swing his tail around. “Will you calm down?”

“Sorry, sorry,” he whispered, his lips still twisted in a large grin, “You fancy Y/N/N.”

“Yeah, I do,” James was embarrassed now. He didn’t expect to come clean to Sirius like this— not in the middle of a war. “I’ve always thought she was gorgeous, you know, even back in Hogwarts! I just never did anything about it because she hated me. I mean, really, genuinely, hated me. Then we got to know each other over this time and— I don’t know, Pads. She’s great.”

Sirius smiled so hard, James thought his lips would tear apart, “Yeah, she bloody is. Are you gonna tell her?”

His eyes widened at his best friend’s words as he frantically shook his head, “Merlin, no! Of course not! We’re in the middle of a war, Pads, and I’m sure she barely tolerates me. I doubt she’ll like me.”

Before Sirius could reply, you appeared behind the two boys, an eyebrow raised, “What are we talking about gentlemen?”

“Nothing!” James exclaimed, rubbing the back of his neck in fear, “Sirius was just saying how he needed to get home. Right now.”

“Is this how you talk to your best friend that you haven’t seen in a month, Prongs?”

Remus entered as well, laughing as he spoke, “Come on, Sirius. We do have to head home now. Nice to see you both.”

“Always a pleasure, Moony,” you smiled, hugging them both before they apparated out of the house. You poked James’ cheek, “So what were you really talking about?”

“Guy stuff,” he lied, returning his focus back to the parchment that Sirius messed up.

“Guy stuff?” you snorted, grabbing his jaw and turning his head to look at you. James visibly gulped, all the color draining from his face. You cocked your head, not letting go of his face, “We’re lying to each other now, Potter? Shame.”

“‘M not lying,” he said, voice shaky. You were so close to him. He could smell the strawberry chapstick you dabbed on your lips. Godric, your lips looked so kissable.

“Yes you are,” you tutted, your palm now cupping his jaw. You didn’t even realize how intimate this move was, too busy looking into his eyes to notice your movements, “I can tell.”

“How?”

“You can’t look me in the eye,” you stated, eyes flickering to the different features on his face. You never noticed the small freckle on the bridge of his nose or the small, fading scar on the left side of his lips. “Whenever a good man is lying, he can never look at someone in the eye. So tell me, James, what were you guys talking about?”

James still refused to look at you in the eye. He couldn’t bring himself to because he knew you were right. The minute his eyes met yours, he would crack like an egg. Instead, he focused it on your parted lips, feeling your breath tickle the tip of his nose as you spoke. He mumbled, “I can’t tell you that.”

You didn’t know what came over you but when you spoke again, your voice came out as a sultry tone— breathy and slowly dragging your words, “Please.”

James’ eyes immediately jumped to look at yours once he heard the tone of your voice. He’d never heard you use that tone before and he would be lying if he said it didn’t make him weak in the knees. And for the sixth time in your life, you saw the nervous James Potter again. In a moment of weakness, he spoke, “You. We were talking about you.”

“Me?” you asked, shocked by his revelation. Your hand that was once cupping his face was now hanging off his shoulder. You twirled a curl on the nape of his neck around your index finger, slightly tugging it. It took all of James’ willpower not to groan at the pressure. “What could you have possibly been saying about me?”

“How utterly insufferable you are,” James nudged his nose with yours, tilting his head the slightest bit. His tongue poked out of his lips, licking them in both nervousness and excitement.

“I’m only insufferable because you make me this way,” you tilted your head the opposite direction. Your lips were moving towards each other with every breath you took.

“Is that so?”

“Yes,” you whispered, closing your eyes. You let your lips ghost over his, before pulling away. You opened your eyes to taunt him, a mischievous smirk on your face. You pulled away from him, untangling his hair from your finger.

“See, you’re proving my point. You’re insufferable,” James said.

And with that, he pulled you by your waist, a surprised squeal left your mouth. He placed you on his lap before he kissed you. You instantly wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. His lips melted with yours, tongues shying away from each other until he finally had the courage to caress yours with his. James squeezed your hips, pushing you down his lap. A soft moan escaped your throat and that brought James back to reality.

Before things could escalate, he pulled away— lips bruised and completely out of breath. You smiled at him, biting your bottom lip. He returned the favor, running a hand through his hair.

“I didn’t want to continue without telling you,” James confessed, “I like you. A lot, actually. I don’t want you to think this means nothing to me because it does. I-I hope it means something to you, too. If it doesn’t, let me know because I don’t want to do this if I’m just setting myself up for failure here.”

Your features softened at his words. You cupped his face in your hands, once again, and kissed the tip of his nose, then each cheek, then his forehead, and finally, his lips. It was an innocent one, less steamy and passionate than the first, but lovely regardless. You intertwined your fingers with his, “This means something to me, too, Potter. You’re not the only one who feels that way.”

“Really?” he asked, now grinning widely. He connected his forehead with yours, chuckling, “Who would’ve thought we’d get here?”

“Not me,” you giggled, “However, don’t think I won’t bicker with you now that I know you’re an incredible kisser.”

“I didn’t expect you to go easy on me,” James laughed, wrapping his arms around you. “But now, I can just kiss you to shut you up.”

You pretended to think about it for a moment with a fond smile, “Hmm.. I suppose that’ll work.”

James pulled you closer to his body, looking up at you as you sat on his lap. He murmured into the skin of your neck, “See? Insufferable.”

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regretthatsme · 3 years

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The Doe - Harry Potter x fem!reader

A/n: Harry's second child is named Arthur Remus in this. Albus Severus is a god awful name about two god awful people.

Harry was quickly running to the seventh floor. He was running late for class.

You see, Harry was a teacher. An illegal one, maybe. But, a teacher nonetheless. He was certainly a better teacher than toad-face.

Today, Harry was going to teach a very important lesson. Today was the day where the students would learn expecto-patronum.

He was watching the students file into the Room of Requirements. The excited chatter of teenagers filled the empty room.

"Alright. Alright!" Said Harry, immediately silencing any conversation. "Today, we will be learning the patronus charm. It is one of the most difficult spells to learn, so don't be discouraged if you don't get it on your first try."

Harry did the demonstration of the spell, a bright white stag erupting from the end of his wand.

"Think of your happiest memory. Allow it to fill you up." He said while circling around the room. "A full body patronus is the most difficult to produce."

He was getting lost in the magic and pure joy that echoed across the room, and that's when he saw it.

A glittering silver doe standing right in front of him. Some students stopped to stare at the marvel aswell. Harry's patronus seemed to notice, and it began to walk towards the doe. The stag bowed his head. The doe reciprocated, only to scamper off seconds later with the stag following suit.

Harry stood in awe for a few moments. He tried to think back to his teachings, but his mind kept going back to that damn doe.

And that one class became two. Then three. Then the week.

One month.

It's been one month. And that's when he told Ron.

"I don't know, Ron. I can't stop thinking about it. It keeps coming back. And I tried to ignore it, but then it comes back stronger than ever before." Harry expressed to his friend.

"I don't know what to tell you mate." Said Ron as he bit into a chocolate frog.

"I know... it's just... I feel... something."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know! Just.... will I ever find her?"

Ron looked at his friend. Harry was hunched over with sullen eyes. He was deep in thought. He's serious, Ron thought.

"Cheer up, mate. I'm sure you will find her again."

Harry got up from his bed and started pacing. "What if I don't? I saw something incredible. Indescribable even... I found my soulmate, Ron!" Harry was almost shouting in frustration.

"Relax! It's not my fault. Stop screaming at me!" Ron told Harry. Harry began to take deep breaths and sat back on his mattress.

"I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've never had someone to love, you know? I don't want them to slip away like everyone else."

"Hey, not everyone has slipped away. You still have me and Hermione!"

Harry chuckled. "Thank you for listening. I know it's weird to talk about sappy stuff with me."

"Hey. If you can't talk to your friend about your soulmate, what good are they?"

-*-*-*-

Harry prepared for the next lesson, this week focusing on protego. The library was quite empty, only a few second years and one other fifth year.

That fifth year in question is a certain Y/N L/N. She was.... wow. She was one of the most beautiful people in her year. Her H/C hair was so lush and thick and shined in the sun. It shined almost as much as her eyes, which captivated whoever looked into them.

But it's not just her looks that captured the hearts of many, it was also her mind. Her brilliant mind. She could answer any question in the blink of an eye. She could pass any test with flying colors. But, she was creative and oh so kind. More kind than anybody Harry had ever met. Just being in her presence was enough to brighten anyone's day.

Certainly enough to lighten mine, thought Harry.

"Hello, Harry." Y/N said. She had moved to sit across from him.

"U-um. Hello, Y/N." Harry studdard.

"Did you need me? You were looking at me so I thought you might need help."

"Oh. Um-no. It's nothing. Don't worry."

"Well, alright. Just out of curiosity, what are you researching."

Harry looked down to his roll of parchment. "Protego. I'm going to teach it next class."

"That good. It's important to be able to protect yourself. Be sure to discuss protego maxima. It protects against even stronger spells. Seems quite important for an 'army'."

"Of course. Thank you for the recommendation"

Y/N leaned closer to Harry till her lips brushed against his ear. "I'm very excited about our next class." She pulled away, winked, and walked away.

Harry's heart couldn't stop beating. He was panting, yet felt like he couldn't breath. No. No. No. No. I have a soulmate. I can't fall in love with someone else, thought Harry.

-*-*-*-

Harry wondered aimlessly down the corridors under his invisibility cloak. The night was peaceful. Just him and his thoughts, no interruptions. Until he heard a choked sob. It sounded like it came from a first year. What did the toad do the poor first year.

He rounded the corner to see Y/N comforting a young Slytherin girl. "I know. I know, Amelia." The Slytherin was still sobbing hard as ever, no matter how much consolidation she recieved. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"No. Just be here. Just hug me." Said Amelia. Harry could see a tear trickle down Y/N's face.

"You want to see something cool?" Amelia nodded, though it seemed a bit reluctant. "I'm going to cast a spell. Are you ready?" Amelia nodded again, much more vigorously.

"Expecto Patronum."

And there it was.

That damn doe.

That damn doe that haunted him since the day he saw it.

That damn doe that made him rethink so many choices.

That goddamn doe... the love of his life.

He knew that he probably shouldn't do it. He knew that he could be caught if he were to. But, he couldn't help himself. He couldn't fucking help himself.

"Expecto Patronum." Harry whispered.

A stag erupted out of the top of the wand. It immediately ran towards the doe, almost as if he missed her. The stag pranced around both Y/N and doe before bowing down. Just like in the Room of Requirements.

"Can I touch it?" asked Amelia.

"I don't see why not."

She reached up to touch the deer. As soon as she did, Amelia started giggling. Y/N did as well. It felt like pure happiness.

They backed away, and the doe took their place. She bowed down as well. They raised their heads and look into each other's eyes. They kept eye contact as they stepped closer together. Until they came together.

Before long, the deers disappeared.

"I can go back, now." Said Amelia.

"Do you want me to bring you back?" Asked Y/N.

"No thank you." Amelia made her way down the hall. Y/N waited until she couldn't hear the patter of feet.

"Harry. I know you're there. Harry! Where are you?"

Harry took off his cloak before spewing out apologies, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or if I messed up. I couldn't help myself. I should have stopped myself. I knew this was - mmmph!" His rant was cut off by a pair of lips on his.

"Harry, there is nothing to apologize for!" Y/N giggled. Merlin, it sound like music. Harry couldn't help but laugh with her.

"So...."

"You're my soulmate then, Y/N?"

"If you would like to call me that, I suppose."

"I would if that's alright with you." Harry places his face in the crook of her neck. Y/N could feel the shit-eating grin on his face. "Would you like to go to Hogsmead on Sunday?"

"Sounds lovely."

-*-*-*-

"James! Wake up!" Y/N tried waking up her son. "Come on. It's your first day of school."

"No. Bed."

"James, if you don't get up, I'm confiscating your broom." Said the boy's mother. It's safe to say that he got ready alarmingly quickly.

Lovely, thought Y/N. She walked downstairs to her two other children eating breakfast. "Good morning, Lily. Good morning, Arthur." She finished each greeting with a kiss on the forehead.

"Good morning, mum!" Said Lily. She was bouncing up and down with excitement, even if she wasn't going to Hogwarts just yet. Arthur stayed silent, however.

"Arthur? You okay? It's your first day at Hogwarts! You should be excited." Said his mother.

"I know. I'm just... nervous." He said, a frown made it's way onto his lips.

"Darling!" Y/N's husband clambered into the room and placed a quick peck to her cheek. He turned to face Arthur. "How are doing? Are you excited?"

"Yes." Arthur faked a smile for the sake of his father.

"Oh gosh! Look at the time! We have to get going or we'll be late!" Said Y/N as she frantically collected her family's belongings.

-*-*-*-

"Dad, what if I am put into Slytherin?" Asked Arthur, about to board the train.

"Arthur Remus Potter. Slytherin isn't a bad house. In fact, it is quite extraordinary. Your mother was almost put in Slytherin for how determined and cunning she was! It would be an honor to have you be in Slytherin. Just as much of an honor as if you would be in Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw. We will love you no matter what."

Arthur hugged his father so tightly as tears leaked from his eyes. "I-I don't w-want to l-leave you, Dad. I don't want to leave Mum, either. Or Lily."

Harry pulled back and wiped the tears from his eyes. "I know. But, before you know it, you'll be back home and you'll be sick of us all over again." Harry laughed. He had to laugh. If he didn't, he would cry too.

Satisfied with that response, Arthur left his father's embrace and walked over to his mother, who was watching the whole time.

"I love you so much. I love you to the moon and back." She said, giving one last hug to her children before they boarded the train. They grow up too fast.

"I'll write every day." Said Arthur, waving from his compartment on the train.

"Write us when you get settled in! And be sure to tell what house you are in!" Shouted Harry. The train started to ride away. Harry looked at his children then to his wife. He was and will be forever grateful for the woman standing beside him, who gave him a family, who gave him so much.

And to think it all happened because of a damn doe.

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x ravenclaw!reader #harry james potter #harry potter x you

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

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I've been meaning to ask you this, but I was too caught up in "The Lunar Chronicles" stuff. Moving on, I read that "who do you think is the most incompetent character in hp", and decided to ask which is the MOST competent. Now I know that somebody asked you this before (at least I'm pretty sure) but mine is more specific. I saw this same prompt on Reddit, and a lot of people answered Barty Crouch Jr cause he suceded in being Moody and getting Harry through the TT. What do you think?

I’m actually going to have to go with Lily Evans.

The trouble with Barty is that, yes, while I would say he is one of the more competent characters his scheme also works mostly thanks to a) his own ridiculously hard work and b) sheer dumb luck. Even with Barty helping Harry out for the second task, there was very little guarantee that Harry would be the one to touch the portkey. In fact, he very nearly wasn’t, as he and Cedric get there at the very time and Harry hypothetically could have gone “Nah, Cedric, you deserve it and you could use the money more than me.”

Imagine Tom just staring as this Cedric Diggory kid shows up in Potter’s place, after all that goddamn work. Frankly, there are far easier ways to kidnap Harry that could have been done immediately, rather than Barty having to maintain a cover for months. Harry could very easily be lured out of Hogwarts (hell, that’s what happens in fifth year and all the way through his third year). Honestly, tell Harry there’s a mysterious mystery involving the dark lord in Hogsmeade and Harry will run straight there under his invisibility cloak for extra sneaking. That or just nab Harry during a Hogsmeade weekend. No need for this convoluted scheme involving the goblet of fire and making sure Harry actually survives the tournament.

No need, in fact, to bother with the tournament at all. That always felt like a Barty scheme to me, something he came up with because he wanted to destroy his father so very badly and got a little too attached to the portkey idea.

Just because it happened to work out doesn’t make it exactly the most efficient way to do things.

For similar reasons, Dumbledore’s off the table. While he’s an excellent manipulator and things mostly worked out for him, his having Harry hunt down the horcrux plan and nobly commit suicide at the end was so prone to failure it required almost divine intervention to work. It required these three kids in the woods managing to retrieve all of Tom’s horcruxes, it required them having the means to dispose of them (which Snape had to risk his neck to get them), it required Snape not being murdered off before he could impart the terrible truth to Harry (which he very nearly was), it required Harry choosing to sacrifice himself, it required Dumbledore being right about where all of Tom’s horcruxes are located (he got very lucky that they were all in Britain and half in Hogwarts).

So, why Lily Evans?

There’s a few reasons. First, while we don’t see much of her, canonically she is a brilliant character both by the acknowledgement of other characters and by the after effects of the actions we do see her take in canon.

That’s not really competence though, so where the competence comes in is in two ways 1) she ensures her son’s survival in a means that far surpasses anything any other character has been capable of while also guaranteeing very strong protection of her sister’s family 2) she successfully improves her station tremendously in the wizarding world and she does all of this at a ridiculously young age.

For Harry, canonically we’re told that Harry survives thanks to Lily’s sacrifice. Now, I’ve never really bought this, but if it’s remotely true it probably means Lily did some scary shit right before that went down. And, somehow, she does what no one has ever managed to do before. More though, Lily is responsible for the blood wards: protections so powerful that they prevent Harry’s residence from being found and attacked for seventeen years. Protections that neither Dumbledore, Voldemort, nor anyone else in the wizarding world seems capable of replicating. Harry’s own person, up until fourth year and Voldemort steals his blood, is protected from Voldemort’s touch and we see Quirell lit on fire for trying to harm him. From the grave, Lily Evans protects Harry more than any other character in the entire series. She pulled this off when she was only twenty-one.

As for her station, while I don’t want to give kudos to Lily marrying James I will say that she goes from a muggleborn with no prospects to marrying a pureblood lord of a very wealthy and prestigious house. Miserable future marriage or not, that’s pretty damn competent.

So, yeah, there’s my two cents.

#ask #anon #harry potter #headcanons #lily evans

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lilytakeharryandgo · 4 years

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STOP ROMANTICISING SEVERUS SNAPE - A MANIFESTO

“Albus Severus Potter, you were named after two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a great strategist, the other one was a racist, hateful, bitter, scary bastard. Voldemort must have damaged some brain cells when killing the Horcrux inside of me.”

Now that I have Snape fans raging and screaming for blood, here’s my show of evidence:

If the boring, same argument brought up by Marauders stans is Snape being a Death Eater, I know it’s basic, but it’s basic for a reason: it’s true. Supporting Voldemort doesn’t mean you support his ideas? I’m sorry, what did he support? The Dark Lord’s contouring skills? It is a truth universally acknowledged that joining a group of racists and following them in perpetrating crimes does make you a racist and a criminal.

JK Rowling herself said that Death Eaters are an analogy to Nazis, Marauders stans are not making this up. Are you questioning what JK ROWLING said? Because you know, she is JK ROWLING.

We know it was Snivellus that created the Levicorpus. He must have used it against the Marauders in order for them to learn it. And let’s just remember that “Snape’s worst memory” takes place after the Shrieking Shack’s incident, when dear, lovely Severus tried to unmask Remus so that he could be expelled for being a Werewolf. He went down to the Whomping Willow of his own free will, no one forced him, and he supposedly knew what was happening there: he risked his own life only to get Remus expelled. Yes, it was Sirius who thought it would have been funny to lure him to the Shrieking Shack where Lupin was due for his transformation, and that was wrong. However, why did he do that? Because Snape was constantly spying on them. Was it wrong? Definitely, no one is trying to get Sirius out of this one. Still, James saved Snape in time. Did James do that just because he wanted to protect Remus? Most likely: James gave them all a family and he loved his friends and would have done everything for them, and he did. But also, he wouldn’t have let an “innocent” (if we want to call him that) die. So James saved Snape’s life, which dear Half Blood Price seemed deeply ungrateful for later, and yet, Snape constantly tried to get the Marauders expelled from Hogwarts time and time again while using Dark Magic and creating his own dark spells (see the irony?). Stop saying that the Marauders’ actions pushed him to become a Death Eater. As if “Snape never missed an opportunity to curse James” was a lie. As if Snape wasn’t on his way to being a buddying Death Eater by his 5th year. As if Snape hadn’t came up with a curse that slices your body open by his 6th year. As if the Marauders had nothing to do but ruthlessly bully Snape all day and all night, when they actually are described as the brightest as some of the brightest students of their year despite being engaged in loads of other things like the creation of the Marauders Map, becoming Animagus, dealing with Remus’ monthly transformations (because those demonic guys didn’t leave him alone and didn’t report him to get him expelled as someone else was willing to do), James and Remus being responsible enough to be Head Boy and Prefect. Oh, and training for a war and joining the Order once they graduated. Minor things, right? Things they were busy doing in their personal lives such as surviving, living and being happy? Nah, that never happened, their entire life consisted of bullying innocent, poor service teenagers, that was their goal. Snape experienced one side of the Marauders (and we read that from his own pov, so it’s a little biased too): that is not a deciding factor of whether or not they (and especially James) are good people. He was so fascinated with the Dark Arts, even after Lily’s death and hence his presumed redemption, that Dumbledore did not appoint him as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. Snape’s apologetics make it sound like the Marauders made Snape’s life hell every minute of everyday and he was the poor victim who was not capable of standing up to himself against those horrible demonic creatures, but he was the one inventing the Sectumsempra and using it against James, against George. Only a truly tormented person could have invented such a bloody spell.

So now let’s talk about Remus. Remus, a hero who fought against Voldemort and joined an anti-terrorist resistance organisation when he was just 18 years old, who fought alongside Frank and Alice Longbottom in the Order, is about to start his first class with the third years. Neville is there, of course, Remus knows his parents’ fate, how they were tortured into madness, and probably guessed that Neville’s biggest fear would be similar to what he guessed Harry’s would be. He’s probably planning on stepping in before Bellatrix Lestrange shows up, but then it’s not her, it’s Snape. Snape who insults him in front of his class, Snape who tries to shame him. Can you imagine how he must have felt? Yes, they bullied him, but his best friend James grew up, and what did he get in return? Death. Instead, Snape hasn’t gotten over himself a little and most importantly he does not realise that being a teacher also means being responsible for those children. Snape never changes: he is the same petty, angry, bitter child that he had been in school, except now he’s bullying children half his age instead of yelling racial slurs at his classmates. While Snape is one of his students’ greatest fear, Remus starts off the year by letting his pupils confront their biggest fears. Remus truly, deeply cared about his students, and wait… what did Snape do? He got him fired! But even most achingly than that, just imagine… it’s 1993, Remus is coming back after a rough full moon. He’s feeling down, he’s weak, both physically and emotionally, he’s one more time without his friends by his side, one more time alone as he was before the Marauders became Animaguses to be alongside him to support him during the roughest times (horrible people, isn’t it?). So Remus is coming back to his class of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and his best friend’s son is writing an essay on how to kill him. But Snape didn’t stop there, no, he told the whole Wizarding World that a man who had struggled to keep his condition secret all his life was a Werewolf. He had to withdraw from his position as a professor because of that, and straight after that the Ministry issued a law against Werewolves which made it impossible for Remus to have a job. So, to sum it up, not only he exposed him as a Werewolf, he also condemned him to live in poverty and be persecuted for that reason. Also, quoting, when Remus was trying to explain things in PoA he attacked him and said “I’ll drag the Werewolf, perhaps the Dementors will have a kiss for him too.” James and Sirius were the kind of persons, the kind of friends and brothers, who risked their own life every month for one of his best friends. Think about this: they found out about Remus’ situation when they were just boys in their first years of school, and they didn’t leave him, they decided to help him embarking in something much bigger than themselves. Whereas dear lovely 33 year old Necrophilus told everyone about Remus’ secret and basically had him fired. Sounds angelic, why haven’t I thought about doing something like that before? That would most certainly secure me a spot in heaven!

Do we want to talk about an abusive person? Well, Snape was not just abusive as a person, he abused and took advantage of his position as a teacher (and Head of House too, to reward extra points from the other Houses) to bully his own students (even after his presumed “redemption”). He told Neville he would have given his failed potion to his toad, Trevor, so that the fatal effects of the potion would teach him a lesson. He bullied Neville to the point that he was literally his greatest fear - Neville’s parents were tortured to the point of insanity by Bellatrix, yet Snape was his greatest fear. He also condoned and took part in bullying when Draco cursed Hermione’s teeth to grow. He said he didn’t see any difference, then watched as she ran off crying. From the very start he starts bullying Harry: he perfectly knew he was raised by muggles, he knew how Petunia was and still went on to ask questions that he wouldn’t be able to answer. And after calling Neville and idiot for a mistake that anyone could have made he took points from Gryffindor because Harry didn’t tell him how to do it right - great teaching strategy, let’s nominate him for Most Valuable Teacher. Harry had nothing to do with what went on during Snape’s school years, but he physically resembled James and he was his son, so let’s bully him from the very first second! And honestly, asking an 11 years old Muggle-raised kid the difference between monskshood and wolfsbane in front of everyone on the first day? There is no difference! They are colloquial terms for the same plant. He just wanted the intellectual upper hand over a goddamn little kid. But he didn’t stop there: that resentful git always tried to blame Harry for something even without proof (as most of the time), and he physically abused Harry because he was angry (“Snape threw Harry from him with all his might. Harry fell hard onto the dungeon floor.”). He knew how important it was for Harry to learn Occlumency and he stopped giving him classes and later ignored when Lupin asked him to start them again even when he knew how poorly Harry’s progressed. And he was cruel: he knew Harry was sad about Sirius’ death, and gave him a detention in which he was going to see his and his father’s names multiple times while copying out old detention records. Yes, Harry’s deeds should have called for expulsion, as McGonagall states, but Snape chose something more painful than that. Not only he punished Harry (don’t get me wrong, he almost killed Draco, he deserved detention if not expulsion), but he chose to inflict him more pain and at the same time tried to ruin the memory of Harry’s father figures. Ordinarily, copying out old detention records wouldn’t be worse than writing lines, but Snape vindictively tailored that detention to inflict pain. In addition to this, he could have been an awesome teacher if he wasn’t a disgusting waste of a human being. He knew from his teen years that the instructions that the textbooks were giving were not as goos as they could be so he improved the potions and recorded his own methods at 16. Harry himself states what an amazing teacher “the Prince” is. If Snape were not such a horrible person, he could have either written the entire textbooks himself, or taught his students his own alternate methods. Instead he spent his time bullying children. He could have been great and become everything a Slytherin should have been

Snape also saw his friends perform Dark Magic on Mary Macdonald and when confronted by Lily, literally didn’t see any problem with it and compared it with the Marauders’ pranks.

He called Lily, his supposed best friend, a Mudblood. Then he tried to get away with it by saying he didn’t mean it and that she (and only she) was different from the other Muggleborns. And Lily tried, she tried to tell him he was not on the right path, she tried, and she got called a racial slur from the person she trusted the most at the time. And, for the extremist Snape apologetics in the back, who even hate Lily (how can they hate on Lily I don’t know, but apparently these people exist too): Lily Evans did not owe anyone anything. She had the right to cut ties with her friends for any reason she pleased, whatever that’s because she was sick of them or because they were hanging out with a group of terrorists wannabe. She did not owe anyone her love, loyalty or energy. She tried to be Snape’s friend despite his other group of friends (“but Mulciber’s and Avery’s idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don’t understand how you can be friends with them”), but there’s canon evidence that Snape chose his Death Eaters friends over Lily’s friendship and safety. It was her choice to cut ties with him after what he and his friends had done (and the racial slur of course, truly a touch of class), and it’s not like he was a good friend to begin with: he called all other Muggleborns “Mudblood” and was canon friends with the people who wanted Lily and other Muggleborns killed, and he even still wanted to be a Death Eater while being her friend. Like, wait here while I go out and slaughter your people, Lils! And if Snape stans are still arguing that he was suffering because he got dumped, that’s another no: he did not get dumped, she just didn’t have romantic feelings for him but was trying so hard to be his friend and he was just a whiny baby about it. Is that a crime? No, it isn’t. Is not getting over it and taking it out on countless kids who weren’t even born instead a crime? Yes, it is.

Also, from the get-go we see him drop a tree branch on Petunia. That shows that he didn’t see a problem in hurting the people Lily loved (seen later in a larger proportion, that’s his tag line). Lily loved her sister, but Petunia was an obstacle between her and Snape, hence, Snape hurt her. And no, that was not accidental underage magic, just as Lily performs magic on the flower, Snape uses magic to cause a tree branch to fall on Petunia. Even as a child he had no qualms about hurting someone Lily loved, this really serves to underscore the idea that Snape, with his so called love for Lily, was not invested in her happiness or wellbeing because he didn’t care about the people she loved. As a child he didn’t care about hurting her sister and at 20 he didn’t care about the imminent deaths of her husband and son. If he truly loved and cared for her, he would have wanted to see her happy. Not even considering how crushed she would have been if her husband and only child were dead, and she was left alone and pregnant in the middle of a war.

Okay so now let’s talk about James. Yes, James was a spoiled brat, and Lily hated him for that, then guess what? He matured, he started protecting the weaker ones and joined the Order along with Sirius, Remus and Lily to fight for a better world. He didn’t hold it against her nor did he sulk for days, he grew up and matured because he was a well adjusted human, unlike some. James Potter was many things other than an “arrogant bullying toerag” (hey, also, well done for trying to destroy a 15-year-old orphan’s memory of his heroic father): he was a friend who risked his life every month for Remus’s safety and comfort. A brother who took Sirius in and was “the best friend he ever had.” An adored friend of half-giant Hagrid, in an age when all “half-breeds” were looked upon with suspicion during the war. An all time “favourite student” of Minerva McGonagall, so much that she waited all day at his son’s future home and wept at his death. A savior of his enemies even when they were trying to expose his friends’ secrets. An activist protecting the right of existence for Muggles, Muggleborns and hybrids right out of school. A soldier who faced Voldemort three times and lived to tell about it. A caring father who went into hiding to protect his son. A loving husband who sacrificed his life for his family. A faded trace of magic still trying to guide his son when the man that killed him returned to life. A young man that inspired so much loyalty in his friends that Remus Lupin, who so feared the idea of harming people because of his condition, was 100% willing to abandon those morals to avenge his death, and would have done so, had Harry not reminded him and Sirius that James would not have wanted them to murder anyone for him. A Patronus helping Harry through his darkest moments until the very end. James had a friend facing bigotry and he became an illegal animagus to help make that friend’s life better. Snape had a friend facing bigotry and he joined up with the bigots. No one is trying to pretend that James was an angel, but he got better and better until his last breath. And again, that spoiled brat and the love of his life joined the resistance and were martyrs. James, Lily, Sirius and Remus all died for Harry. Are you trying to blame James and Lily for sacrificing their own lives to save their infant son? What terrible parents they were! Their sacrifice was an act of love and wait… actually ended up saving the Wizarding World. The only thing James and Snape had in common was that they would have both sacrificed James’s life in order to save Lily’s. James was the hero, he was the one who faced Voldemort without his wand (pretty dumb thing but he was a Gryffindor, hence no surprise) in order to give his wife and son more time to flee. When he opened that door on Halloween, he thought he was sacrificing his life so that they could live. He literally died wandless perfectly knowing he wouldn’t survive, but facing death for those he loved, hoping he would be able to stall enough time so they could escape. He was never more dedicated in anything in his short life than he was to the loves of his life: he died for Lily and Harry, and would have happily died for Sirius, Remus and Peter. And this is absolutely canon, of course it is: we might not have some explicit description of him but all we know comes from the lives he touched, how they talked / not talked about him, the pain they felt - the seven books are a testament of James and Lily’s love. James Potter was the kind of person that would have been happy to die for love, he would have taken pride in that. How do we know that? Are we making this up? No, we are not: all we have are the words of people who knew him, from his best friends to McGonagall, and who remembered him as a hero. This, albeit indirectly, speaks volume about the kind of person he was. He might have been obnoxious and arrogant as a teenager, but at 21 he died a hero - wandless, alone, betrayed, hopeless, but also bravely and out of love - and nothing can change either of those. Yes, he bullied Snape (let’s be clear here even though I highly doubt Snape did not retaliate) and that is a disgusting attitude. But how can you forgive a 31 year old man for bullying his kids and not a 15 year old boy who bullied one of his definitely not innocent classmates? Who matured and who later died, at the young age of 21, for his wife and son? How can you hate James Potter when as soon as he graduated, he was ready to fight a war against the most powerful wizard of his age? Yes, he had a big head and I am fairly certain he did actually strut - and let’s just take a moment to remember why Harry doesn’t know anything about him… oh, right, Snape went to Voldemort and told him about the prophecy - but he was a caring person, who stood up to what he thought and stood up for his friends and his family. The spoilt boy Snape’s apologetics hate, who grew up to be a great man, who died fighting and protecting, not some emo with a crush and an ego the size of the Great Lake! Wait, I hear somebody trying to bring up the “we have no real evidence of him becoming a better person” thing. Let me get this straight: James was mentioned to have jinxed other students, not to have bullied them. He did not pick out targets, it was implied to be done at random as it is explicitly stated that he jinxed random people in the corridors. Fred and George pranked other students in the same way, and they would have often have more disastrous effects, but no one calls them bullies. We know that on one known occasion attacks Snape with Sirius at his side and almost pantsed him with a spell of Snape’s own invention. James and Snape had a rivalry, and it was two-sided. It wasn’t James relentlessly hexing poor, innocent Snape, so if you still want to call James Potter a bully, okay, do it, he was a bully bullying a bully. The evidence speaks for itself: he was Head Boy in 7th year (hence I don’t think Dumbledore despised him that much), he was unapologetically a blood traitor, he dated Lily Evans (who hated him for how he was and would have never fallen in love with such a brat, so it’s pretty evident he did actually change), he joined the Order of the Phoenix (an anti-terrorist organisation, at the peak of the war, as a teenager, whereas someone else joins a racist dark cult), he died protecting his wife and child! And if we really, really want to bring the ‘evidence’ thing up… well, we have no evidence he bullied Snape, except for one little incident - I’m fairly certain he did, but let’s play it literally now. And since we are there, we may not have been blessed with more about the Marauders, but Sirius and Remus both tell Harry Lily changed his mind about James because he became a better person, why don’t Snape stans consider that an evidence pro James but “Snape’s worst memory” is their pro Snape pamphlet? That chapter showed us an incident where both Sirius and James were assholes but everyone that was there supported it but Lily. All the other Students supported it because of what the fandom conveniently forgets that Snape loved Dark Arts, disparagingly called Lily a Muggle twice, tried to expose Remus and run around with a group of Death Eater wannabes tormenting Muggleborns all through his school years (he literally says that torturing Mary Macdonald was funny - “That was nothing, it was a laugh, that’s all”), to the point where Lily’s friends and herself questioned their friendship: “none of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. I’ve made excuses for you for years.” And eventually, when questioned by Lily if he wanted to join Voldemort, he couldn’t find any way to lie to her: “you and your precious little Death Eater friends— you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You Know Who can you?”. He literally didn’t find anything wrong with Voldemort’s political position (only the fact that he wanted to kill his obsession, he only had that so called change of heart when it personally affected him as his beloved Dark Lord wanted to kill the object of his lust). So yes, he did join the Death Eaters because he wanted to and was everything he’d always desired. Does this make him a bad person? HELL YES.

And wait, can somebody remind me why the Potters were forced to hide? Wow, it must have been because Snivellus dearest spilled the tea to his master. So basically it went like this: “Hey Dark Lord! Our adorable group of racists kills Mudbloods for fun, but there’s this filthy Muggle born I fancy, can you please kill her husband and baby so that I can have her?” How the hell could he think Lily could have ever forgiven him? He was totally fine with Dumbledore saving Lily but not her husband and infant son (see how deeply he cared about Lily’s happiness?) and only cared for him being the rebound. James and Harry were totally expendable but hey, bravest man ever known!

So yes, he protected Harry (in his very own and questionable way, he did), but I’m sorry, that’s not enough. However, before someone says “in the end he cared about Harry” let me say a big, important fact: NAH HE DIDN’T. And not only he didn’t, but he also openly states that: in the Deathly Hallows chapter with the Pensieve, Snape describes Harry as selfish, self-important and arrogant - does it matter than all the other teachers like him and see none of those things? Of course not. And he’s not talking about sassy 4th-6th year Harry (who I really thank for that “there's no need to call me "sir" Professor” gem): Snape is tasing about an 11 year old who was picked on his whole life, who never had a family of his own and who lived in a cupboard under the stairs. He’s a child, an orphan (now tell me what’s that heroic about tormenting an orphan). However, Snape had decided that Harry must be bad news from the start, so he reasonably spends six years making his life as difficult as possible. That’s a great way to honour Lily’s memory, right? Do Snape stans remember what their hero answered when Dumbledore asked if he had grown to care for the boy, after all? He literally shouted “for him?” before casting a Patronus (a little over obsessive too). He felt he owed it to Lily to make sure Harry survives, and for Merlin’s sake, he did! He went to Voldemort and basically condemned the Potters. I’m not saying he is THE reason why they died, that honour goes to the lurid latrine rat, but he is one of them. Protecting Harry was the least he could do. Switching allegiances doesn’t cancel the awful actions before Lily’s death, as much as taking advantage of his position can’t be justified by his loyalty to Dumbledore. And most importantly, he cannot be redeemed by his stalkerish obsession for Lily (or by the creepy ‘look at me I want to die looking into your mother’s eyes,’ ew). All he did was made out of selfishness, even in his quest to redeem himself. Snape had a chance to honour Lily's memory, and disregarded it every single day. He claimed to regret his past, yet his cruelty to Harry was persistent and immature. Plus, loving someone doesn’t redeem terrible deeds. He aligned himself with a terrorist organisation who murdered for sport entirely of his own volition, endorsed the torture of Muggleborns, but of course, what a hero! I will never understand how people continue to use Snape’s obsession with Lily and ‘protecting’ Harry thing as an excuse for all the pain and terror that he inflicted upon small children. Does that mean you’ll excuse a father who continuously hit and emotionally abused his child and made their life a living hell if his excuse was “well I was still protecting them they had their dead mother’s eyes”? This is SICK.

And if you can still argue that “he had a terrible childhood,” that is inarguable, however, it just cannot justify him. Remus was bitten when he was 4, he had no friends until he was 11, lived in constant fear that he was going to be outed as a Werewolf, was forced to turn into a monster every month, lost everyone he loved and lived in poverty for 14 years and still managed to be a decent person. Luna watched her mother die, was picked on by almost everyone, was treated as a freak and only had one friend until she was 14 and still managed to be a decent person. Ginny was literally possessed by Voldemort himself for almost a year, guess what? Decent person too. Neville was constantly told how worthless he was, lived knowing his parents were tortured to insanity and was bullied and belittled by everyone. Decent person? Yes, right again. And do we want to talk about THE lonely kid who was abused his entire life? Sirius was raised and abused by blood supremacists, was disowned by his family, framed for murder (of his best friends, for Merlin’s sake!) and literally lost almost everyone he loved and still managed to be a decent person. He couldn't help the way he was? The environment around him conditioned him to be that way? If I remember correctly, Harry was raised by neglectful relatives, wore ill-fitting clothes, felt inadequate among his peers… Harry is proof that a terrible childhood doesn’t excuse despicable behaviour.

So, Snape hated Neville because he could have been the Chosen One instead of Harry (but it’s definitely on him for going to Voldemort and condemning the Potters), he hated Harry because he was James’s copy and he hated Hermione because she was a Mudblood and brilliant as Lily was. Makes sense, again, and again, it stresses how much of a beautiful person and teacher he was, don’t you think so? Also, had Voldemort picked Neville to kill instead of Harry, Snape would still be a Death Eater. It’s not like he thought being part of a group of supremacists and terrorists was wrong. It wasn’t until something directly affected him that he turned his back to his master - so brave, right? Snape may have done some good for the Wizarding World when he joined the Order, but while he was alive, he was horrible. He wasn't fighting the good fight because he couldn't possibly imagine a world where Voldemort was in charge (honestly, he couldn't have cared less), he was doing it to spare Lily’s life and get her for himself. James and Lily fought for the light because they believed in the light. Snape fought against the dark because the dark had offended him. Had Voldemort gone after the Longbottoms instead, Snape would have lived and died as the most loyal Death Eater in history.

Wait, I hear a “there’s no evidence that Snape voluntarily murdered anyone in his entire life” over there! He joined a group whose aim was genocide and was actually one of the few members which were part of the inner circle of Death Eaters, he didn’t get there by throwing kisses and rose petals around. It is explicitly said that not all Death Eaters actually bore the mark. Only selected wizards can be part of Voldemort’s circle, and not only Snape was part of that circle during the First Wizarding War, but it is also heavily implied that he passed messages from Voldemort more than once. Plus, he was also able to speak directly to Voldemort and even ask him to spare Lily’s life. Voldemort actually told Lily to move over three times before killing her, and he didn’t do that because he had such a kind heart and wanted to spare a Muggleborn’s life, he did that because Snape begged him. And maybe we haven’t read the same books, but it’s not like Voldemort strolled along Diagon Alley offering favours to random people. In addition to this, Snape did most certainly kill someone since Dumbledore compares Draco’s soul to his, meaning he has done remorseless acts of great evil before, hence his soul was already damaged, unlike Draco’s. So please, stop saying Snape was somehow influenced into joining the Death Eaters and never committed any crime: he fully believed in what they pledged and actually longed about being one of them for years (according to Lily). No one manipulated him into joining said group nor into perpetrating crimes. And no one manipulated him into being a horrible person even after he “switched sides.” He’s the one who willingly decides to be a terrorist, he’s the one who willingly decides to abuse children half his age, and he’s the one having the nerve to be awful to Harry when he’s the reason why Harry doesn’t have any parents.

And he was so childish and cruel! He threw a tantrum after discovered he was getting an Order of Merlin and wasn’t going to see Remus and Sirius in jail (even though he knew they were innocent).

There we go: HE KNEW SIRIUS WAS INNOCENT (don’t try to deny it, he was part of the inner circle of Death Eaters, he perfectly knew Sirius was not the one selling the Potters to Voldemort)! Did this matter for him? Of course not! And was Snape cruel and abusive to Harry because he blamed himself for Lily’s death and Harry was a constant reminder of his guilt? Yes, he was. But you know who else blamed himself for the Potters’ deaths and also was constantly reminded of them by Harry, and yet, did not abuse him because of his guilt? That’s right, Sirius. Sirius whose death was indirectly caused by Snape who kept making fun of him for being locked in Grimmauld Place. Sirius who had no problems breaking out of Azkaban, all he had to do was turn into a dog and leave. He could have left anytime he wanted to over those twelve years but he didn’t. You know why? Because he thought he deserved to be there. It was his fault his friends were dead. Everyone could blame him all they wanted with false accusations and it didn’t matter, since to him, changing Peter to the Secret Keeper, he was guilty for his friends’ death and deserved to be in Azkaban. He only broke out when he knew Harry was in danger after seeing that filthy rat on the newspaper. And when he broke into Hogwarts? Do people remember those lines: Hermione said “It’s very lucky he picked tonight, you know,” to which Ron responded “I reckon he’s lost track of time, being on the run. Didn’t realise it was Halloween.” Please, of course he realised it was Halloween, he perfectly knew that. He went after Peter on the anniversary of James and Lily’s death to revenge them and to save his godson. Sirius might have strut as much as James during his teens but again, he turned out to be a decent person.

And think about Harry, a 17-year-old grown up in an abused “family” (and still managed to be a decent person too): he has no memories of his parents, the only thing remained is a photograph. A photograph of a happy little family, showing James and Lily in love with the fruit of their love. Snape found it and ripped off and stole the half with Lily smiling so he could pretend her happiness and love were directed at him and not at her husband and son (yes, people, that disgusting moment actually existed, and it was so creepy Yates couldn’t put it in the movies). He stole Lily’s picture and Lily’s last words from Sirius, a friend she loved, the Potters’ best man, James’ brother. How nasty. What can I say, at least he waited until after Sirius’ death to go to Grimmauld Place and raid his bedroom?

Lovely Snivellus, such a cupcake, also laughed and mocked Tonks when her Patronus changed when she fell in love with Remus (let’s also remember that Tonks’s one was not the same as Remus’s, as stated by Rowling, before Snape stans can accuse me of applying double standards: Remus’s Patronus was a regular wolf, and okay Harry is oblivious at times, but he would have recognised a regular wolf) despite the fact that his own changed to match Lily’s - let’s just remember that THIS is obsessive behaviour, whilst James and Lily’s Patroni represent them being soulmates. Snape’s Patronus does not honour Lily, stop considering this the greatest romantic moment of all times, it does not show virtue nor morality, it’s just the representation of his creepy fascination with necrophilia. It’s disgusting, not noble. His so called love for Lily is creepy. She found happiness with another man, yet Snape was possessive, manipulative, and inarguably obsessive. And let’s remember that J.K. Rowling said that “he thought Lily would find him impressive if he became a real Death Eater”… was he really her best friend or was he just completely blinded by his attraction to the dark side? This is not a redemptive love, this is problematic, toxic, abusive, emotionally-stunted, obsessive.

This is because there was never a love triangle and that’s why there is simply NO Team Snape! Not winning at the genetic lottery doesn’t justify being such an awful person! Also, THIS is why the tag line should be changed from “always” to “Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll hold him off!” or to “until the very end” because a father’s eternal love for his son is much more important than a racist’s obsession of a dead woman (dead because he contributed to her death, to be precise). His always and doe patrons can’t get him out of this one. Eventually, let’s remember J.K. Rowling’s dedication in Deathly Hallows: “[…] to you, if you have stuck with Harry until the very end.” Not “always” nor creepy moaning, just the pure words of a hero, of a loving father who died protecting the ones he loved most.

Now, I don’t get why we should celebrate Snivellus as the hero of Slytherin and an example of the “not all Slytherins are evil” when Regulus Black died in a cave, drowned by reanimated corpses to bring about the downfall of Voldemort, and Narcissa Black straight up lied to Voldemort because she’s first and foremost a mother, ruthless in doing whatever it took to save her beloved son. Regulus and Narcissa were brave: despite their flaws they knew what mattered the most and they were two big key factor in Harry’s survival and Voldemort’s demise. Sure, Snape was among the three that deceived the Dark Lord, but whilst Regulus did it because he realised what was right and what wasn’t, and Narcissa did it because of love, putting her family first (plus, she wasn’t even a Death Eater, and this tells a lot about her, as her loyalties solely lie with her family), Snape did it because resentfulness. Sure, Regulus joined the Dark Eaters of his own free will and Narcissa did what she did only after having her family threatened, but since one of Snape stans’ major point in his defence is his family being abused, let’s take their family into consideration too. The Blacks were pureblood supremacist, they grew up within that establishment and yes, some members of the family rejected those arguable ‘values’ but not everyone has the courage to do that (also, every Black family member is indisputably a badass, don’t get me started on that). On the contrary, Snape was a half-blood, and still, ended up hating muggleborns - yes, don’t try to say he didn’t, he joined the Death Eaters because he believed in Voldemort’s cause. He disparages mud bloods, he joins in on their massacre as a Death Eater after having idolised them for years in school before actually joining them. Read this again: he idolised a group of pureblood supremacist, he actively helps orchestrate genocide against the muggleborns. And what is his Freudian excuse? He believed that, in so far as Halfblood, he had to ‘prove’ that he was magical and capable enough (does this remind you of somebody else who hated muggles albeit being a half-blood and eradicates his whole Muggle family?), you can see that in how he strived to highlight his maternal Prince lineage in his stupid nickname. And no, now don’t try to blame the Marauders’ behaviour for this: Severus Snape, the man you glorify, hated muggleborns and went out of his way to commit genocide against them. So, in the end, if you still deny that, despite it being clear in the books, you are being dishonest. If, on the contrary, you fully realise it and still glamorise Snape despite how horrible of a person he was, well Snape stans, you have sunk to a new low. I’m not trying to justify anyone who supported said supremacist beliefs, but at least Regulus and Narcissa were born and bred within one of the Sacred 28, those beliefs were instilled in them from the very beginning, Snape reached them all on his own (well done for embracing your nazi self Snivellus). Regulus turned his back on Voldemort as soon as he realised how wrong he had been: at age 18, he literally sacrificed himself to try and stop his master. Narcissa, on the other hand, never sworn loyalty to Voldemort: she was a pureblood elitist, yes, she was guided by pride, but she was also calm, rational and restrained where her sister was crazed and her husband was reckless. So… Regulus faced death in the hope that when when the time had come, Voldemort would have met his match and would have been mortal once more, and Cissy only wanted best for her family and did everything she could to protect her son. She perfectly knew that Voldemort could have easily killed her in a second, but she wanted to find Draco, kept a straight face as the strong woman she was and fooled the Dark Lord. And why did Snape deceive Voldemort? Oh, right, he told him the prophecy that eventually led to the killing of the woman he was obsessed with (and no, again, he did not care at all about her husband and baby), this, of course after asking him to spare her life so that he could have had her (so this is, once again, classic Snivellus holding grudges). Regulus and Narcissa are pretty much the epitome of Slytherin, and still, let’s celebrate Snape! As a Slytherin myself, I am utterly disgusted by Snape’s behaviour. He could have been an amazing teacher, he had the talent to be one of the greatest Potions masters ever, and he willingly chose to throw it away in favour of being awful for the sake of bullying his own pupils. If we have to pick characters who proved that not all Slytherins are evil, let’s look at Regulus, let’s look at Narcissa, let’s look at Slughorn and Andromeda. Slughorn fought against Voldemort during the Battle of Hogwarts and refused to become a Death Eater, Andromeda married a Muggleborn. And guess what? None of them bullied children for 15 years.

Then, for the “I sometimes think we Sort too soon” thing… no, just no. Before you can start yelling at me, I am not, I repeat, I am absolutely not saying this because I endorse the whole Gryffindor being saints thing. I am a Slytherin, and a proud one. I just don’t agree that Snape was brave. Is being a resentful, childish and abusive man being brave? Wow, I’ll have to refresh my vocabulary! It is not brave to bully your pupils for years because you lost your loved one, it is not brave to refuse to accept a woman loves somebody else and moves on, it is not brave to keep a childhood grudge against that someone because they ‘stole’ the so called love of your life, it is not brave to try to destroy an orphan’s image of their heroic father. Snape was burned Lily had chosen James over him, so burned that, fuelled by jealousy and envy (and by his pretty questionable ideals too, because it’s too convenient to forget he is 100% a Death Eater and hence a supporter of Voldemort’s lovely view for the Wizarding World), he struck out and ended up getting Lily killed. I don’t consider playing the martyr by “teaching” (if we really want to call that teaching instead of child abuse) and being an occasional spy being brave. I call it feeling guilty, I call it ‘I deserve to suffer for hurting Lily but I still choose to bully her own son instead of honouring her,’ I call it ‘I keep on tormenting an orphan because I hated his father and he looks too much like him, plus, he has his mother’s eyes so I’m constantly remembered of 1) Lily choosing James over me and 2) Lily dying because of me telling my beloved Dark Lord the prophecy.’ Any protection Snape offered Harry, he did it because of his penance, not because protecting him (and hence stopping Voldemort) was the right choice. Wow, how brave of him. I don’t think Snape could have been a Gryffindor at all, and I hated how David Yates (again, very conveniently for his martyr business) placed the Gryffindor scarf hanging up in the background in Snape’s death scene as a nod to his supposed bravery. Like, really?! Even if you really want to call him brave, he’s still an awful person who shouldn’t have been allowed to teach because of how abusive he was, an awful person who was a member and supporter of a supremacist, racist and violent sect, an awful person who caused the death of innocent people - and I could go on and on. You can’t let a few good deeds outweigh all the bad! It’s not like some potion or Imperius Curse made him join the Death Eaters, spill the tea about the prophecy and terrorise those children. He willingly chooses to do that because he was an awful person until the very end. And still, Snape apologists be like “the conclusion of his arc is that abusing your position of power over children is forgivable if you stalked one of their parents when you were a teen.” Again, sick.

Snape’s portrayal in the movies is entirely fan-service throughout the whole series of films, but especially in DH part 2: they never showed Sirius arriving at the Potters the night Lily and James died, they never showed the moment his whole world collapsed when he saw the corpses of his best friends, the moment he blamed himself for what had happened. No, we got an entirely made-up (and creepy) scene of Snape getting there, holding Lily’s body and crying when that never happened! We also never got a scene with Sirius and Remus evidently struggling to hold it together while they tell Harry about James, how he changed and how Lily fell in love with him. Their pain would have shown how much James had an impact on their lives, for the better, but of course, we only got a partial rendition of Snape’s worst memory, with careful cuts of course, they couldn’t say he didn’t find anything wrong with the torture of Muggleborns, right?

You can like Snape, sure, he’s a flawed character with an interesting past, but he’s not a hero, stop portraying him as such instead of what he really was: an abusive, creepy, racist man. You are allowed to like villains (who doesn’t?) but stop praising him! You don’t have to justify his actions because you like him: he was awful, recognise it.

Do we (still) need to talk about double standards? Well, there we go: people hate Lavender Brown and Cho Chang. Fair enough, pretty annoying girls if you want to hear me, but why do they get hate? They get hate for how they handle their feelings: Lavender gets hate for how she handles her unrequited romantic feelings, and Cho gets hate for crying and grieving over the death of her boyfriend. Does this sound like a thread to you? With the sole difference that they get more hate than Snape and this is disturbing and honestly just sick. He is a terrorist, he literally moans the entire series and abuses and terrorises children because he couldn’t have Lily but hey, misunderstood hero!

Stop romanticising Snape: the only reason why people love him is Alan Rickman, and all of this hatred is just a pathetic way of trying to cover up that James grew up while Snape didn’t. How can people glorify and stand up for a man who canonically is a vindictive bully? To be honest, I’m genuinely concerned for people who over romanticise such a man. Correct me if I’m wrong: do you see anyone sticking up for the Dursley’s or Umbridge, when they do basically the same stuff to Harry as Snape? How is Necrophilus any different? I will never regard him as a hero for as long as I am alive, however, the movies conveniently cut those parts where Snivellus was the half princey of baddies, right? Also, I really wish Sirius could have found out about this lovely nickname Snape gave himself as a teenager, that alone would have cured his depression, post traumatic stress disorder and alcoholism, this is a real tragedy.

Severus Snape did not die for love. He died because Voldemort thought hew was the true Elder Wand owner. I repeat: he did not die for love. Period.

He raised a wand to McGonagall!

Avada

Kedavra

#jamespotter #marauders #lilypotter #severussnape #snivellus #hp #hogwarts #harry potter #jily

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alifeiwishwasreal · 6 years

Text

Second Best - James Potter Oneshot

Character: James Potter

Fandom: Harry Potter

Era: Marauders Era

Gender: Female

Info: Reader is of no specific house

Warnings: Swearing, little angst.

Summary: James is moping due to your spontaneous breakup. And his mind can’t figure out why you left him.

Requested by: Anon

Based on this imagine

Honestly, Sirius was getting fed up with his friend moping about, paranoid what people were saying when they were talking about you.

And honestly, he was annoyed you were acting like you were okay. You wouldn’t look James in the face or any of the other Marauders in the eyes, but you went on as if your relationship had never happened. Not only that but you broke up with him for no reason. Or so it seemed. But he didn’t know or understand.

James was happier with you than Sirius had ever seen him – so he knew he had to corner you and find a way to decipher what had truly happened.

So Sirius ran when you started storming off after charms, running next to you as he started breathing heavily – for such a little thing, you really did have a stride on you.

“We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t.”

“Yes we do, there’s an obvious elephant in the room.”

You stopped and whipped to look at him in the eyes before he began to curl into himself, your steely gaze making him shift.

“The sooner he realises, the sooner he’ll know why I did it. Trust me, it’s better for both of us.” You said lowly as you scuttled off; leaving Sirius in a state of shock and even bigger confusion.

James was rolling his spoon around in his soup, mindless about the present and more about what Sirius told him.

His brain was clouded with thoughts of you and only you and why in the midst of what might have been the happiest period of James’ life, you brought it to a close for no reason he could think of.

Sometimes he wishes he could forget the way your hair flows or your laugh or your favourite flavour of Chocolate Frogs (you were quite partial to the dark chocolate ones), but his thoughts seemed to taunt him endlessly.

He felt a slight movement beside him and whipped his head up in the hopes of seeing your face but his heart sank at the sight of Amos. Glasses adorned his face and he sat there with broad shoulders and tapping his foot against the floor so that his leg moved quite rapidly. The last time he recollected them speaking was when there was confusion over which team had permission to use the Quidditch field.

“How are you, James?”

“Could be better. You?”

“Good thanks for asking – I just wanted to ask you a question.”

James looked at him with a curiosity and he took it as a signal to continue.

“I was just wondering since you and Y/N no longer seem to be an item, whether it would be okay to ask her out myself?”

It had been a long time since James had felt such rage, but his jaw locked and his fist clenched and before he could stop himself he said: “So you came to flaunt this in my face?”

Amos looked taken aback and pushed his glasses back up his face before stumbling out “N-no – It’s just that I considered us friends and I didn’t want to upset you. If you don’t want me to do it I won’t. The last thing I want is to hurt you more.” The perfect Hufflepuff response – loyalty.

“No Amos, that was uncalled for. I’m sorry. Do whatever makes you happy. Maybe it’s for the best since she obviously doesn’t want to be with me.”

James felt his arms tighten as Amos squeezed his shoulder. “You know there are girls lining the halls for you. You’ll find someone soon.” He said and stood up, walking off. James then knew he’d signed you away forever – open to the rest of the males left in Hogwarts.

James lay on his bed and flung his head up at the sound of the door, and it hit the pillow again at the sight of his friend.

“What, think I was Y/N?” He grumbled as James sat upright, clearly miffed off.

“What’s up your arse?”

“What’s up yours? It’s a girl James, get over yourself and quit your moping because it’s not going to bring her back to you.”

“She was more than a girl Sirius and it doesn’t matter now because pretty soon she’ll be going out with Amos.”

Transfiguration book in his hand, Sirius whipped his stare to the boy.

“She moved on that quickly?”

“Amos asked me if he could. They’ve been friends for a while. Who am I to say no?”

“You twat. That’s gonna make you worse.”

“Or better. But oh well.” He said lying down.

“I’ve got to get back to Minnie. Enjoy your free. Maybe try and take your mind off it or write home. But you’ve got to find a way to fix this paranoia.” Sirius said, pulling the door open and slamming it shut as James flipped over and buried his head into his pillow – wondering why it was filled with you and only you as it had been for the last couple of weeks. He heard it open again and assumed it was one of the boys until he heard the word:

“Permission?”

James can’t remember a time when he sat up quicker, your eyes raging with your hair scattered everywhere, seeming to make the uniform ten times cuter as you looked at him for a response.

“James Potter, what on earth makes you think it’s alright to tell another boy he has permission to ask me out? Permission? Am I your property?” You said enraged as he sat up slowly.

“Amos asked if it was okay and I said he might as well.” You were taken aback as you suddenly went quiet. James swore at that moment you looked like you wanted to cry.

“Looks like I did make the right decision if you really don’t give that much of a shit.” You spat turning to leave as the door whipped closed and locked with a thud. You looked back to find he’d stood up.

“You think I don’t give a shit, you broke up with me!”

“Because I had to!”

“Why?”

“It wasn’t fair to you or myself!”

“Stop being so goddamn cryptic!”

“I didn’t want to!”

“Then why did you?!”

“Because I couldn’t be with you while you were still-” you went to snap back and then stopped yourself. You breathed slowly and looked at the floor.

“Still what?”

“It doesn’t matter, let me out.” You whispered.

“Yes, it does because I deserve to know Y/N, while I was still…?”

“In love with Lily.”

James face softened and all of a sudden it made sense.

Better for both of us. Didn’t want to.

“I broke up with you before you could realise and break up with me. I wanted to stop kidding myself. It would hurt less if I didn’t cling onto before you realised you loved her and was in the love with the idea of me. I wanted it to hurt less than pretend you actually wanted me.” You finished, not meeting his eyes as silence took over the room.

“You really think that?”

“You can’t fawn over someone for five years and then suddenly change your mind.”

“Well I did – because it was a childhood crush.”

“I’m still second best.”

“You were never second best, what you think - it’s the opposite.” He said, taking a few steps forward until you were looking up at him, chest to chest.

“I was in love with the idea of Lily. But I’m in love with you.” He whispered and fervently kissed you, the minute you reciprocated by clinging to his arms, they were around your waist – locking against you and curving your body into his as you both pulled away for breaths.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” You mumbled as he kissing your head and clung closer as you stood in each other’s embrace.

“So you’ll take me back?” You asked him as him as he laughed at you.

“I’ll always take you back.” He said, putting your foreheads together as you smiled going to kiss him again until you heard from outside the door –

“Okay, I’m proper happy you’re back together, but can I grab my DADA books before the makeup sex begins?”

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thejilyship · 6 years

Text

And Then I Met You

Here we are, part two. This is currently the longest part of the four, but I haven’t finished part four just yet, so I can’t be sure if it’ll stay that way or not.

Reblogs and reviews are wonderful

wc: 4.4k

ff.net | ao3

Part 1 | Part 2

Sirius was still refusing to come over to James' flat come the weekend, so even though James had gotten the job and wanted to celebrate in his new place, his friend had decided that they would all meet up at Sirius' place instead of James', and Remus and Peter had just went along with it.

Of course, as soon as James and Sirius were in the same room with one another, no one would have been able to tell that Sirius had been playing butt-hurt about James moving out. They were, and always had been, inseparable.

So they got sloshed, and James told them all about how excited he was to start this new job, and how much he liked his new place (because even though Sirius wasn't being a prat about it, he had been a prat all week and James wanted to throw it out there.) And when he mentioned his flat, instead of getting grumpy, Sirius brought up the neighbor girl that James had told him about. Sirius had played at being uninterested in whatever James had to say about her before, but now he was all too eager to let Remus and Peter know that she had a son.

Peter had laughed at James for wanting to date someone with a kid, and Sirius had looked smug about it. "You're hardly what one would call a responsible adult." Peter laughed, popping the tab off another can of beer. "You can't be around a kid. You'd corrupt it."

"I take care of you lot, don't I? Managed to keep you alive for the last decade or so."

"That is quite the task," Remus nodded, digging his hand into the bowl of snacks. "Is this girl even interested in you though? Or is this one of those obsessions you get?"

"Definitely one of those," Sirius pointed at Remus, his eyes lit up in amusement.

"I'm about seventy percent sure that she's been flirting with me. I haven't talked to her since a few days ago, but we say hullo in the corridor and wave." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, knowing that not only did that sound pathetic, but it really wasn't much to go on. "She told me that she'd checked me out when I was moving in." He smiled slightly, probably looking like a right ponce.

"And what about the kid?" Sirius asked. "He's not one of those bratty types, is he?"

James shrugged. "Kid seems alright. He's into football."

"She must be other worldly kind of fit, yeah?" Peter narrowed his brow as he brought his drink up to his lips. James thought his face must have made him look a bit mental if Peter of all people was looking at him like that. "I mean if you're still into her, even though she has a kid." He shrugged a shoulder and James scoffed. But then jumped into telling him exactly how fit he thought she was.

"She's completely beautiful. Her eyes are so bright and green and –"

"No, we're not doing this." Sirius shook his head and got out a few shot glasses.

Soon, James was too drunk to string a complete sentence together, which was probably Sirius' goal all along; and James would have been able to work that out if he hadn't been so hammered.

And then, because Sirius was a goddamn, petty, sonofabitch, after getting James completely hammered, he kicked him out of his flat, telling him that he couldn't crash on the couch because he didn't live there anymore.

James spent a good fifteen minutes banging on Sirius' door after having been thrown out, shouting about how unfair it was that Sirius hadn't kicked out Remus or Peter, and calling him a wanker, before one of the neighbors opened their door and threatened to call the cops if James didn't shut the hell up.

So, after one last kick at the door, he turned on his heel and started for the street.

Riding the bus this late at night always guaranteed that you'd meet some characters, and while on his way home, James was pretty sure that he made friends with the Forth Doctor.

It was a miracle that he remembered to get off the bus at his stop, and he managed to be quite proud of himself all the while he was walking into the building. But that was where his good luck ran out.

Because he decided to check his mail before he went in, thinking that someone might have delivered him a letter while he was out, so he walked over to his mailbox, unlocked it, and looked inside. It was empty and he sighed, for some reason finding this rather tragic. Why hadn't anyone written him?

He turned around and walked to the door that was directly across from his mailbox and stuck his key in the lock.

Except that the door to his flat wasn't directly behind his mailbox. The door to his flat required him to turn right when walking into the building, and the mailboxes were to the left. His door was two down from where he stood, but he didn't know that as he got more and more frustrated at his key for not unlocking the door.

"Why. Won't. You. Turn?" He muttered, jiggling the key.

Quite suddenly, the key was pulled out of his hands as the door swung back. For a brief moment, James felt victorious, for he thought that he'd managed to finally get the door unlocked. It wasn't until he looked up and saw someone staring him down that he realized that he hadn't pushed the door open.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She asked. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt, her hair was loosely pulled up into a messy bun, if she was wearing shorts he couldn't see them, and he was completely awestruck. He hadn't seen her legs yet, he would have remembered seeing them. They were perfect.

When he didn't answer her after a moment of just vague staring, she waved her hand in front of his face. "Hullo?"

"Hullo," He managed, a dopy grin sweeping over his face as he leaned up against her door-frame.

"Sweetheart, it's almost two in the morning, I'm not finding whatever you're doing cute." She crossed her arms over her chest and he still couldn't tell if she was wearing shorts or not. He forced his gaze back up to her face and judging by the look she was giving him, he hadn't been subtle about the fact that he'd been looking at her legs.

"Sorry," He shook his head. "I was just trying to unlock my door and then you showed up…" He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "So I suppose I was actually trying to unlock your door. That would explain why it wasn't working." He gestured to his keys that were still hanging out of her lock. She looked over at them and then shook her head.

"Bit drunk are we?"

"You don't seem drunk, but yes, I am. Drunk that is." He nodded. "And my bloody mate wouldn't let me crash on his couch. And he kicked me out of his flat earlier. He's still upset that I moved out."

"Well I'm sorry about that, but it's still very late." She pulled the keys out of her door and handed them back to him. "And Harry is asleep, so I think I'll just say goodnight." She made like she was going to close the door and James stood upright again.

"I got the job!" He said, somehow managing to think that he should whisper. He wasn't disappointed by her reaction, and not only because she stopped closing the door. A large smile appeared on her face and she tilted her head to the side.

"Well I knew you were going to get it."

"S'why I'm drunk." He explained. "Celebrating and all."

"Of course. Well congratulations. I'm very glad that it all worked out for you."

"You are aren't you? You're such a sweet person."

She narrowed her eyes slightly. "Of course I'm happy for you."

"I know. I believe you. You always seem like you mean whatever you say. S'part of the reason I was so excited to tell you that I got the job, because I knew that you'd smile at me like that." He pointed at her face even though she was no longer smiling. She was looking at him rather confused. "Didn't know that you wouldn't be wearing pants when I told you though. That's a plus." And then she was smirking.

"Well I hate to break it to you but I a –"

James stuck his fingers in his ears and closed his eyes. "I don't want you to break it to me." He said. He felt her hand on his wrist, pulling his hand away from his ear.

"You're ridiculous," She sighed. "It's probably best if you get to bed."

"Is that an invitation?"

"You're a sloppy flirt when you're drunk." She shook her head. "No, love. That was not an invitation. Take your keys and go unlock your own door." She nodded down the hall. "I'll see you later."

James' hand ran through his hair and he nodded. "Right. Unlock my own door. I think I can do that."

She looked down the hall toward his door and nodded. "Yeah, I think you should be able to." She grinned, looking back at him. "You want me to stand here and make sure that you make it inside?"

James sighed and shook his head. "No. I think I've embarrassed myself enough in front of you for one day." He gave her a small salute and then turned on his hell and started down the hall. "I'll see you round." He said, maybe a bit too loudly.

"See you round." She called after him, her voice was definitely quieter than his was.

"Wait!" He hadn't shouted, but his voice still cut through the quiet of the building. She raised her brow, but again paused in closing the door.

"What?" She asked, and he couldn't tell if she was still amused or not.

"I don't know your name." He said, taking a step back toward her. "I keep forgetting to ask you. I should have properly introduced myself when I first met you, instead of just staring at you like a prat, but…" He shrugged.

She narrowed her brow, "My name is Lily Evans."

"James Potter." He gave her an enthusiastic wave.

She smiled and gave him a small nod. "Goodnight, James."

"G'night, Lily." He smiled right back.

oOo

James' head was pounding the next morning and he woke up feeling like a jackass, which wasn't a good sign. He couldn't put his finger on exactly why he was feeling like a jackass, but he knew that he'd done something last night that he was going to regret, and he didn't much want to remember what it was just yet.

He managed to keep from throwing up, which was always an accomplishment after a night with his friends. Sirius might even be proud of him.

He downed some Aspirin and refrained from drowning himself in the shower before making his way out to the kitchen to force feed himself some eggs and toast. After that, he made some coffee and went to go and sit on his back porch, as it looked as though there might be some sun coming through the clouds this morning and that could only improve his current situation.

He fell back into the chair that he was pretty sure came with the flat, as he didn't remember purchasing any outdoor furniture, and held his mug of coffee with both hands, letting the sunlight warm his face even as the cool ground chilled his feet.

"Glad to see you're not dead," He heard a voice call from his left. He turned his head and looked over to find that Lily Evans was seated out on her porch with a cup of something and a newspaper.

Upon seeing her, he immediately remembered why he woke up feeling like a jackass. "Oh shit," He muttered, closing his eyes. "I'm so sorry." He called back, but she just laughed.

"Sorry for what?" She asked, flipping the page of the paper. He looked over at her and sighed.

"For inviting myself into your flat and trying to break in with my own key." She laughed again and shook her head.

"I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. I've heard that it's very difficult to break into someone else's flat if you're using your own key. And I don't think it was my flat that you invited yourself into." She looked over at him with that little smirk that she wore so frequently, and his stomach flipped. He had to watch that, he was still fighting off nausea.

"And I told you that you weren't wearing any pants." He sighed, pushing his glasses up to his forehead and covering his eyes with his hand.

"I was though." She said, and he could tell that she was still smirking. So he felt as though it was alright to follow up that comment with a slightly brazen one of his own.

"I'm still going to tell myself that you weren't."

"Do you know many people who answer the door without their pants on?"

"Well what time was it when I messed with your door? I think the time excuses the fact that you weren't wearing pants." He took a sip of his coffee and tried to keep from smirking.

"See, you're much better at this when you're sober." She grinned, and he looked over at her, shamefully remembering her comment last night about him being a sloppy flirt.

"I'm so sorry I went to your door last night. Honestly, I thought it was mine. I checked the mail first and got turned around."

"Well I didn't think It was your drunk-self's version of trying to find a nice way to run into each other." She said. "I mean, I just assumed you were an idiot drunk."

"I am an idiot drunk." He agreed, nodding his head. He was relieved that he hadn't seemed to ruin everything last night, but he was still embarrassed. After all, he'd already decided that he was in love with this woman who now knew just how stupid he could be when he was drinking or with his mates. Actually, he knew that he didn't need either of those things in order to be an idiot, but he didn't think that she knew that yet. "Got your name though. So I suppose it wasn't all a wash."

She smiled at him again. "I can't believe I didn't know your name either. I mean you get all thick in the head around me, so I get how you didn't remember to ask, but I normally keep my wits about me."

"Thick in the head?" He raised his brow, still grinning at her. "Thought I was doing a good job of playing that off."

"Did you really?" She tilted her head to the side and pressed her lips together.

He shrugged, "Alright, no. I didn't really think I was doing a good job." She laughed, and his smile grew. "But still, you're not supposed to-"

"Excuse me," James hadn't noticed the door to the balcony between them open, nor had he noticed a older woman step out. Her mouth was pressed into a firm line and she looked back and forth at James and Lily.

"Good morning, Ms. Bagshot." Lily called, giving her a small wave.

"Well it would be a good morning if there weren't people shouting right outside my door." She chastised and while James was having a hard time feeling bad for the woman who'd just interrupted the moment he'd been having with Lily, she did a good job of looking sorry.

"Didn't realize we were shouting." Lily said. "I do apologize."

"Yes well, let's try and keep it down."

"Will do." She grinned and then, after giving James one last look that seemed to expect an apology he wasn't going to give, Ms. Bagshot turned around and walked back into her flat. Lily shook her head.

"She seems nice." James said, lowering his voice slightly.

"She asks me and Harry to keep it down at least three times a week." Lily shrugged. "I always act like she's never asked before. Other than that though, she is nice. Bakes me cookies and pies on occasion."

"Well then I probably should have apologized. I like pie." James took a sip of coffee and then looked back at Lily. She was looking into her flat, hearing something that James couldn't.

"I'm coming. We can make waffles." She was saying to someone inside the flat. Harry, he assumed. "No, we're not having Pancakes." She shook her head. "Because they're gross- and don't try and tell me that they taste the same as waffles because that is a lie." She shook her head and then stood up, turning back to James. "Hope you feel better soon. I'll see you around." He smiled at her until her door closed and James was left outside to think about how lovely the name Lily really was.

He was a swot, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

oOo

James was actually thinking about work for once on his bus ride home, and not going through all the ways he could accidentally run into his neighbor, who was also the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. He felt someone sit down next to him, but was absorbed in composing an email to a colleague, so he didn't look over at them.

"Excuse me," The voice was much younger than James had been expecting. Actually, he hadn't expected anyone to talk to him, but when he looked over, it was Harry. Lily's five-year-old son. He was holding his football in his hands and a curious expression on his face.

James turned off his phone screen and sat up straighter. He hadn't realized he'd be on the bus that Harry normally rode home from school. His work days weren't very consistent since there was a great number of things he could do from home, so he wasn't in the office normal hours. "Oh, hello there." James gave him a polite smile, not sure why the kid had approached him.

"You're my neighbor right?" He asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. They were large, round frames that looked almost too big for him, they made his cheeks look rounder, his eyes look bigger. He was a cute kid.

"Yes, I am your neighbor." James nodded.

"And your James Potter, right?" He asked, squeezing his football a bit tighter. It was then James realized that perhaps the kid recognized him. He hadn't played long enough to draw that much attention to himself, but he'd been a star player for a season. Enough to warrant a few solo tv interviews, but not much more.

"You're a football fan, no?" James grinned, leaning back against his seat.

"I knew it was you!" Harry looked quite excited and James chuckled. "I told my friend Ron that you lived in my building and he didn't believe me. He told me I can't see well and was mistaken," He pushed his glasses up again. "Which I suppose is sort of true, but still. I had to tell him that I'd ask you."

James grinned at him and nodded. "Yeah, I'm James." He wondered how he would react if he found out that one of his favorite football players lived in his building. Honestly, it probably would have involved accosting him on the bus and rambling nervously too. Though Harry didn't really seem all that nervous.

"Can you sign my ball?" Harry handed it over to him and then pulled his book bag onto his lap and started digging through it. "I know I have a marker in here somewhere, because Ron and I were drawing dragons on our bags the other day during lunch. Not as well as his brother draws dragons of course, but Charlie's good at everything." Harry went on about these people like James knew exactly who they were. "Found it!" He sat up straight, pulling a black Sharpie out of his bag and handing it to James.

James looked at the ball and then at Harry. He wondered what Lily would think about James signing her son's football. And then Harry, who either sensed his hesitation or just felt the need to ramble some more, went on to say, "I told my mum that you were famous and she didn't believe me. But how would she know? She doesn't ever watch football. I used to watch it with my dad but- Well now I just watch it with Ron mostly." He breezed through, hardly pausing to take a breath. "I still remember watching that game last season where you scored like, a million times in a row. It was awesome."

James signed the ball, and started worrying about something else altogether. What if Harry told James something that Lily didn't want him to know? Was he friends with Lily? Did he have to worry about that? He'd only spoken with her a few times, but he did think it was weird to talk to a five year old when their parents were around, even if James wasn't doing most of the talked. Or hardly any of it.

He handed it back and Harry thanked him, shoving the marker back into his bag and pulling it back over his shoulders before taking the ball. "Ron will have to believe me now. How do you not get nervous in front of everyone when you play? Does your knee still hurt? It looked gross when they took you off the field. Is that why you don't play anymore?" He didn't give James any time to answer these questions, but soon they were pulling up to their building and James nodded towards the door. Harry stood up and started walking, still talking over his shoulder, James only caught half of what he was saying.

"So?" Harry said, stepping onto the concrete and turning toward James instead of running up to meet Lily who was standing near the grass. Her brow narrowed and James just looked back and forth between the two of them.

"Well that was a lot of questions, I'm not sure which one to answer." Harry laughed and tossed his ball in the air.

"Alright, that's fair. Did you get nervous?" He reiterated one of his earlier questions. "I want to play professionally when I'm older, but I get nervous at my games sometimes."

"I still got nervous sometimes, yeah." He nodded, feeling Lily's eyes on them. He started walking towards her.

"You never looked nervous." Harry shrugged, then he caught sight of his mum and ran toward her.

"Hey, peanut!" Lily wrapped an arm around him and ran a hand through his hair.

"I told you it was him," Harry said, giving his mum a look. "He is a famous football player."

"Famous is a big word." James tilted his head to the side. Lily smiled at him and laughed.

"I was wondering what you two were talking about."

"Sorry," James said quickly, "He sat down next to me on the bus and started telling me about someone named Ron and asked me to sign his ball." Lily nodded, not looking bothered by the fact.

James was relieved. He'd already acted stupid around her the other day, the last thing he needed now was to do something that crossed a line with her kid. He really was completely hopeless. He had no idea what the rules were or what he was doing.

He also now had more questions about Harry's dad, while also feeling like it was none of his business. Because it wasn't any of his business. He wasn't even friends with Lily really, even if he wanted to be. He just awkwardly flirted with her sometimes and apparently hung out with her kid on city buses.

"I hope we can sit together tomorrow too!" Harry said, bouncing his ball off the wall and catching it.

"What happened to that old French lady you used to sit with?" Lily asked, nabbing the ball out of the air after he threw it again. Harry shrugged.

"She stopped riding."

"Really?"

"Maybe." He shrugged, and Lily gave him a look before tossing him his ball back. Harry ran off to the stairs.

"He's very friendly." She grinned, looking at James.

"I didn't mean to talk to him when you weren't around." He said, and Lily shook her head.

"I don't expect him to sit silently on the bus. It's fine. Besides, he was very sure that he knew who you were. And I didn't want to tell him he was right after you confirmed it the other night." She shrugged. "Anyway," She gave him a half wave and then raced ahead to steal Harry's ball again.

James felt as though someone had just reached down his throat and tightened a fist around his heart. But, in a good way. Somehow.

He hoped it was in a good way otherwise he was done for.

#jily fic #jily #mine #my fic #au jily

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ravenw1ng-blog · 6 years

Text

Top 15 HP Characters, In response to my last reblog cause I’m bored

01. James Potter

-I mean cmon, what did you expect, my nickname is Prongs

02. Ginny Weasley

-I personally really like the way Ginny grew over the 6 books she was in. Out of her fangirl stage and into someone who was actually a good friend to Harry. Plus she’s like the twins just more vindictive, what’s not to like?

03. Sirius Black

-I originally was neutral about Sirius the first time I read the books. But after rereading them all and watching the movies a couple time I started to really like Sirius. He’s got the best traits of both Slytherin AND Gryffindor combined.

04. Lily Potter neé Evans*

-So. Lily. I personally like Lily more than Hermione when it comes to the obligatory muggleborn of the group. She [Lily] grows out of the Know-it-all phase and is just more well rounded the Hermione it seems. That’s not to say we don’t get as much Hermione characterization as we do Lily. We get very little about Lily in cannon so I’m working with the fannon version of Lily. But Lily just seems more well rounded than Hermione. Hermione is just the one of the group who knows everything and is the best at new spells. She’s smart, good at magic, she’s the “mother hen” of the group, and she’s really goddamned insecure. Lily is a lot of those things but she is less insecure and less of a mother hen, at least later during school. But she’s also (in fannon at least) been known to have a vindictive streak, and she loosens up more the Hermione.

05. Gred and Feorge Weasley

-The twins are wonderful, no two ways about it. The twin speak, the pranks, the whole “i really don’t give a shit if this is against the rules” Attitude. They are amazing. HOWEVER, I do have some problems with them. For one, it takes a lot to get them to take things seriously. I just wish they were a little bit more Sirius about life. See what I did there? :p

06: Nymphadora “don’t call me Nymphadora” Lupin neé Tonks

-I would call her Tonks here but I can’t can i? So I’ll just call her Dora for now. Ok Dora is wonderful. She godsdamned hilarious, she CAN take things Siriusly more often than the twins. She’s an Auror for Christ’s sake, you know she’s damn good at fighting. And she’s persistent as all hell. My only complaint here is that we don’t get enough of her in the books.

07. Remus Lupin

-Remus is wonderful, most often known as the “Rule abiding marauder” he’s not actually representative of his moniker. He may seem like he’s rule abiding but I’d bet all my chocolate that he was the brains behind 90% of most of the pranks. My only complaint is his inferiority complex is annoying as hell, if completely understandable

08. Harry Potter. aka “Harreh Pottah”

-So the main character of the series clocks in at number 8, Harry is definitely my favorite of the trio, though Hermione has grown on me. And Ron is so far away from anywhere on this list it’s not even funny. Anyways, Harry is great, he has initiative, when he feels like it, he’s really good at magic, just not the theory, he’s a great leader and he’s a good fighter. However his lack of inititave when it came to anything but the DA and the Horcrux hunt is reaaalllyyy frustrating. Maybe that’s my Ravenclaw talking but still. His inability to think a plan or action through before doing it is also really annoying. Like in OOTP instead of rushing off accross the godsdamned country to save your godfather WHY DIDNT YOU JUST MIRROR CALL HIM, YA KNOW THAT THING HE GAVE YOU IF YOU EVER NEEDED TO TALK TO HIM IN A HURRY! Anyways, just like Remus, his inferiority complex is also annoying, but again, like Remus, it’s completely understandable.

I’ll do the other 7 later

*Material used to determine Fannon for Lily was the following fanfics

-Priori Incantatem

-New Years

-Turning Tables

-Commentarius

-The Life and Times

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obviouslybooks · 7 years

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I wasn’t going to do this…and I’m still not technically posting my review of Carry On early, but I will post my Carry On rant. This rant will be the things I DID NOT LIKE about Carry On and if that isn’t your cup of tea, don’t drink it, otherwise, I’ll see you under the cut.

Obviously…spoilers.

We all know this was a self-indulgent and thinly veiled Drarry rewrite and I’m all for that, but their relationship did not develop?like?at all. It just happened. There was so little chemistry and there was an immediate hang up on OH GOD(ohwaitcan’tsaythat)MERLIN(shitwe’resupposedtobepretendingthisisn’tdrarryfic)CROWLEY?!! Is HE? isn’t he? But is sIMON GAAAY?

But you’re either Gay™ or Not Gay™ …and the idea of bisexuality was never even considered an option, thought, possibility, or anything. It was all he’s gay or not gay. And while the book never gave a definitive answer, I (a Bisexual™) was left with the proverbial bad taste in my mouth. Now I don’t want to freak out and start screaming “THIS WAS BIPHOBIC” but it did come across as a bit biphobic. Like bruh, Simon could be attracted to Agatha AND Baz. Or, maybe he wasn’t attracted to anyone until he was attracted to Baz *cough*demisexual*cough*…Come on Rainbow, gurl…get your shit together…

Speaking of getting your shit together, Ebb was a lesbian. How do I know this? Because of two throw-away statements from her brother, one of which was lesbophobic and one was obscure enough that it may have gone overlooked. If you didn’t know dryads are female oak tree minor deities, you could miss that. Also, there was some shit about giving Ebb shit for being a virgin (don’t give virgins shit) and questioning if she was still a virgin (why is Nicodemus so concerned with his sisters sex life?) and made the off-hand comment about “does feeling up other girls even count?”…and yes this is on page 408 of the US hardcover edition (1st edition if I’m correct) and hoo buddy am I not ok with that. So, if this was never part of her character in any other way, and without these two sentences she wouldn’t have had a canon sexuality, why was it even put in here? Maybe representation? Maybe? Hey, Ebb is a very powerful mage but decided to live the dirty life of a school grounds goatherd. ok.

I thought I was done with that last paragraph, but I guess not…What queer girl wants to read a book that has a character blatantly saying that their way of having sex isn’t sex? Eew. Now I’m done.

You know who else was wlw? Trixie the pixie, Trixie who never makes an on-page appearance…Trixie, the roommate Penelope hates because she’s a pixie. But boy-howdy do we know she’s terrible.

You know who else is terrible(sarcasm___)))? Philippa…you know why? because she had a crush on Simon! Well, better steal her voice and throw her out of the book and never let her come back.

And don’t get me started on Agatha…she’s emotional, likes pretty things, isn’t cut out for the adventure life, doesn’t like to be the damsel in distress but doesn’t possess the means necessary to be a hero, she likes boys, she likes manicures, she’s blonde with blue eyes (I think they were blue…they were light)…and somehow we were led to fucking hate her. Why? Why are we demonizing feminine white girls? There’s nothing wrong with being girly, or not wanting to go fight dragons, and sTOP FOR THE LOVE OF LITERATURE STOP PORTRAYING EMOTIONAL GIRLS AS UNLIKABLE!!! FUCK!

Am I calling Ms. Rowell biphobic? not necessarily, but Baz is. Am I calling Ms. Rowell lesbophobic? not necessarily, but Nicodemus is.

Ok, let’s talk about character deaths.

So, I may be missing one, but we have a few unnamed baddies (a goblin, some vampires with no names, some numpties with no names) Lily and Narcissa, oh, I mean, Lucy and Natasha…the mothers. We have the Mage…the Bad Guy™. And we have Ebb…a lesbian.

Hmm…handful of women, and the Bad Guy™. Not a nice demographic.

So, guess we can add this to the Dead Lesbian trope. Why did Ebb die? Uh, the Mage was a dick? I guess. It could have been left out. She could have lived. it wasn’t a huge cathartic event, it happened moments before Harry Simon killed Voldemort the Mage with a non-lethal spell. They mentioned covering her body where it fell at the time of her death, but there was no emotion given to her. She was written out to be a powerful (but unfulfilled) crybaby mage and when she died, it was like “ok, we’re done with her.” They never even mention her brother…the one who was responsible for sending Baz to Watford at that moment in the first place. Nicodemus wanted to save his sister, was denied the chance, sister died, neither character was mentioned again.

AND DON’T GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON THE WAY SIMON SACRIFICED HIS MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!!****still angry screaming**** WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MAKE HIM SACRIFICE HIS MAGIC only to turn around and have him keep his wings and tail…like ok, let’s make him sacrifice his magic, he’ll be a Normal…but not too Normal, or else he’s not important anymore…BOOM.wings&tail. Oh, but he can’t control them….he can’t hide them, he needs to be completely dependent on another mage to hide his wings and tail magically for him…therefore he is now unable to be independent and will now be unable to live life without daily spells from people.

Does this imply some icky points about him staying with Baz romantically? yes. Does this imply some icky points of imposing upon Penny once she wants to leave for America to be with her boyfriend. Yes. Does this make no fucking sense? IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE.

If you want to have a character sacrifice magic, AND THEN MAKE THEM DEPENDENT ON MAGIC TO EVEN LEAVE THE FUCKING HOUSE, you don’t seem to be doing the sacrifice thing correctly. What if he and Baz realize they don’t want to be together? Simon is stuck.. Mages are encouraged to be with other mages…Simon isn’t a mage. Simon can’t be with a Normal, he’s got goddamned wings and a tail. This has toxic woven all through it.

But it’s ok, Baz still wants to be with him, and now he isn’t jealous of him and his power…and He’ll Always Feel Sorry For Him…eew. (yes, this is a paraphrase)…Simon feels like he will never be able to keep up, that he will always be less than Baz. OH BUT THEY CHOOSE TO BE TOGETHER. This is not the basis of a healthy relationship. If you strongly feel that you are inferior to your partner and always will be, THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING!

tl:dr; just go read fanfiction…drarry, snowbaz, either will do. AND BE NICE TO GIRLS! this was bordering on mlm fetishistic.

p.s. it’s 1:43 a.m. and I have to be up for work in less than 5 hours. fml but I had to say this shit.

p.p.s. the longer I worked on writing this, the less I liked the book…I may end up changing my rating…or at least make notes of what I did like to balance this shit out before I do my actual review.

***edit*** I did some fact checking, and it wasn’t even Ebb that Simon covered with the jacket after she died, he covered the body of the fucking MAGE right after he stabbed Ebb in the chest then tried to take Simon’s magic. Like…wtf… yeah he’s your father, but YOU NEVER FIND THAT OUT!

#carry on discourse #i don't see myself reading another rowell book /like/ever

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wild3flow3r · 7 years

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0800: I Think Your Bum Looks Nice In Those Tight Jeans

It’s nearing noon when Harper arrives for her shift at the agency. It has been a week since her night with Harry in her bedroom. He has tried time and time again to talk to her, but she always shuts him down and runs away before he can get a word in. She can tell that he is getting aggravated with her, but she can care less about how he feels. She might not admit it, but he really hurt her that morning.

“What kind of flowers does Clover like?” Niall asks as he slams into the desk chair next to hers.

“She doesn’t like flowers,” Harper murmurs in response as she looks through her Adam Wilde case file. They hadn’t found anything connected to him at their search party a week ago, and as promised she let Harry take the fall for it. He had to do double shifts for five days straight.

“Well, what does she like?”

“I don’t know,” she replies mindlessly. She was too focused on the file to really pay attention to Niall’s questions.

“Harper, please! Our double date is tonight and I’m going out of my mind. I really don’t want to screw this up,” he pleads and covers the words she’s reading with his hand.

Harper finally looks at him. “She likes white lilies. You can get some red and yellow ones as well, but not purple ones. She doesn’t like the color purple.”

“Thank you.” Niall sends her a relieved smile. “How are you feeling about tonight?”

“For what?”

“Your date with Zachary, of course! From the gossip I heard, you two seemed to be all over each other during your search party.”

Harper scoffs and rolls her eyes. “I talked to him for like a minute and a half. We only shook hands and then I walked away.”

Niall looks up in the air for a few moments as if he’s thinking about something. “That version doesn’t sound as interesting. I think when I go to gossip with people, I’ll tell them my version.”

Harper laughs softly. “You do whatever you want. Just don’t make me sound bad.”

“Do you want to know anything about him?”

“Who?”

“Zachary! Your date!”

“I’m sure he’ll tell me things tonight.”

“Do you think you’ll get laid tonight?”

“I don’t know. Maybe if we hit it off-’

“Will you two stop talking like old women and get back to work?” Harry growls from his seat a couple of feet away.

“Hey! I’m the leader for the week and I can do whatever I want,” Niall boasts and leans back in his chair. “Now, get back to work and leave us alone.”

“Well, fucking Liam shouldn’t have made the challenge so easy,” Harry grumbles and his fingers slam against the keyboard of his computer.

“Then why were you the first one out then?” Harper mocks and glances at him for a moment. She looks away as soon as she meets his heavy glare.

“Fuck off,” he snarls.

It had been obvious to everyone that things between Harry and Harper were more tense lately than usual. No one had the slightest idea why, but everyone was too afraid to ask. Poking either of them the wrong way could lead to the detonation of the world.

Harper rolls her eyes. “Do you think I could go home early today, Niall? I’d like to go home and change before tonight.”

“Yeah, of course, you can leave an hour early,” Niall nods in agreement.

“Thank you,” Harper grins before slamming her case file shut and locking it away in her desk drawer. She picked up this habit after the morning of the search party. She wouldn’t be foolish to leave it out in the open where Harry could get to it. “I’ll be down in the shooting range if you need me,” Harper nods in departure to Niall, not even sparing Harry a glance before leaving the room.

***

Harper prides herself on a lot of things, but shooting a gun is not one of them. She was good enough to earn her way to Senior Agent status, but only by a hair. Ever since that night when Harry got shot she couldn’t stop thinking about what could have happened if her plan had failed. Her bullet probably would have missed Mark Morales and he would have ended up killing both her and Harry. After that night she had asked around her team on who would be the best to train her if she were ever to get in a situation like that again. Much to her dismay, they all said the best person to train with is Harry and she wasn’t doing that. She’s tried to get Liam to help her out, but he’s been adamant on Harry training her, claiming that Harry had much more free time than him.

Ever since then she has tried to make it to the shooting range down in MI6’s basement as often as she can. She hasn’t really gotten any better, but she hopes that with practice she’ll eventually get to where she wants to be. She’s gotten this far on her own, so she’s sure that she doesn’t need Harry for this.

So after her last round of bullets was fired from her gun to the target, she can’t help but feel a soft bubble of hope at the bottom of her stomach. Maybe, just maybe, she actually got some good shots in this time. The bubble popped after the paper came rolling into view and not one bullet had hit the drawn-on man’s body.

“You’ve got such a terrible shot.” Harper jumps from the intruding voice after she takes her headset off. She snaps her head over her shoulder to see Harry.

“I shouldn’t have said where I was going. I should have known you would followed me,” Harper growls before setting the gun down on the table in front of her.

Harry ignores her. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me to train you,” he smirks. “Everyone has been telling me that you’ve been asking around.”

“I’d never ask you even if it were a life or death choice.”

“It’s okay to ask for help sometimes, Harper,” Harry sighs as he walks towards her. Harper tenses, but sighs in relief when he grabs the gun instead.

“I know that,” Harper snaps, “but I don’t need it.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Obviously not.” He loads the gun with a new round of bullets and presses the button that sends the target all the way back to the other side of the room.

“What are you doing?”

He ignores her and grabs a headset for himself.

“Harry,” Harper demands with a stomp of her foot.

Harry puts his headset over his ears. He snaps Harper’s over her ears despite her hands hitting his away.

She tries to push him away from her, but he forces her to turn around so that her back is against his chest. She begins to push the heel of her foot against the toes of his, but he gets her to stop with a light pinch to her hip. She's ready to punch him in the face again like she did last week, but he's already gotten the gun in her hands and his hands over hers.

"Relax. Your shoulders are too tense," she can barely hear him say over the headset, but it's also almost like he's whispering right into her ear.

"I can't relax with you so goddamn close," Harper snarls. She can imagine Harry rolling his eyes behind her.

"You were tense before too," Harry points out. His breath hits the back of her neck. Harper shakes her shoulders a bit in hopes to relieve some of the tension. Harry gets her to stand up straighter and pushes her feet further apart. She feels her hands begin to shake, but he steadies them with his own firm grip.

He shoots off the first two bullets with her before retracting his arms, but she barely even acknowledges the fact that he's not helping her anymore. She can tell that the next four shots were not as good as the first two, but they were a hell of a lot better than when she was practicing by herself.

When the paper reaches them once more there are two clear holes through the head, three in various parts of the chest, and one in the crotch. Harper barely stifles her giggles when Harry flinches at the sight of the last bullet wound.

“Remind me not to get in a gunfight with you after we finish your training,” Harry mutters as he rips the paper off its hanging.

Harper frowns immediately. “My training?”

Harry doesn’t even bother to look at her, “You need to be properly trained for field missions, Harper, and Liam is always too busy doing one thing or another and Louis isn’t even allowed to hold a gun anymore without explicit permission from Claudette. Which is never, by the way. Nobody else on the team has ever been on the field side of the mission before, so your only choice to be cleared to work a real field mission is if you train with me.”

“But I’m sure-”

“Tomorrow at noon, I want you back down here for your first proper lesson.” His voice deepens to how it was that night.

“I don’t think-”

“And then we’ll figure out a schedule for everything else that you have to learn. If everything goes right, then you should be able to work missions by this time next month.”

Harper really wants to argue with him. She really, really wants to yell at him until her face is blue that she doesn’t need his help. That he’s an arsehole and he should mind his own goddamn business, but at the end of it all she knows that she needs his help. So instead of saying anything at all, Harper bites her lip and nods at his words.

Harry grabs the gun from her hands. “Follow me.”

She walks back with him to the armory. She has no idea why she doesn’t just run in the other direction, but her feet fall in line with his. The door shuts behind them after they enter, and Harry puts the gun back on the rack where Harper had taken it from earlier. Harry steps in front of the door and faces her.

“We need to talk about the other night,” Harry murmurs while looking down to her. His eyes soften in a way she hasn’t seen before.

Harper frowns. “I told you that I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Harper-”

“I’ve already forgotten about it, Harry!”

“It had to have meant something-”

“It didn’t mean anything to me.”

“I can tell when you’re lying, and I know that you’re lying to me right now. Just like you lied when you said you didn’t find anything at the search party last week.”

“What did you just say?”

“You were lying when you told Claudette that you didn’t find anything last week,” he repeats.

“You think I was lying?”

“I know-”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why the hell would I lie about something like that?”

“I don’t know-”

“Get out of my way, Harry,” Harper snarls through clenched teeth.

“Just listen to me!”

“Listen to you? After you just accused me of lying? Something like that could cost me my job!”

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Then how did you mean it, Harry? Are you trying to get me kicked off the team again because I hurt your feelings for ignoring you?”

“No! I just want to know the truth!”

“And I told you the truth! I told everyone the truth! And you’re so fucking far up your own arse if you can’t see that,” Harper tries to push him out of her way.

“Harper-” Harry grabs onto her wrists.

“Get out of my way, Harry.”

“Just-”

“I said, get out of my way!” Tears of frustration leak out of Harper's eyes. Harry steps aside at the sight of them so that she can pass.

She leaves him alone in the armory without another word.

***

Zachary was late. It wasn’t leaving a very good impression on Harper on his behalf, but she understands the intensity of their job and London traffic so she keeps her mouth shut. Clover sends her a sympathetic stare, but Harper shakes her head in response. She didn’t want to ruin Clover and Niall's night. For the last twenty minutes they had been hitting it off pretty well and she wasn’t going to bring them down with her.

“He’s usually very punctual. I’m sure he’ll be here any moment.” Clover reaches over the table and squeezes Harper’s arm.

“I’m sure he will,” Harper nods along, but she isn’t holding as much hope as Clover is. “Why don’t you two go inside and find us some seats. There’s no point in all of us waiting out here for him.”

“Are you sure-” Clover starts.

Harper turns towards Niall. “Take her inside and don’t let her out of your sight.”

Niall laughs nervously before opening the door for his date. Clover sends Harper one last anxious look before disappearing into the building with a bouquet of white lilies in her hands. Niall had been doing good so far, and Harper could already imagine their wedding. All she’s saying is that she better be the maid of honor because everything they had together started with her.

Harper stood out there like a fool for another ten minutes. She texted the number he had given her after the search party last week. More often than not, Zachary replies pretty quickly to Harper’s texts. Tonight fell under the ‘not’ section.

She promised herself that if another five minutes went by and he still hadn’t showed then she would text some apology to Clover and go home. But the five minutes go by and she’s still alone. And another five minutes go by and she’s really ready to leave. She’s about to when she runs into someone familiar.

“Oh my god, are you Harper?” A feminine voice rings out next to Harper. Her head snaps up from her phone to be met with familiar green eyes, but they were not on the person she usually sees them with.

“I um… yes,” Harper nods in agreement. “It’s Leah right?”

A huge grin breaks onto Leah’s face. “It is! It’s so nice to meet you properly. Last time I was just… well you know,” Leah laughs.

Harper smiles back. “Yeah, trust me, I know.”

“So what are you doing here?”

“I… well… I don’t know, actually.” Harper’s cheeks tinge pink, but if Leah notices then she doesn’t mention it. “How about you?”

“My brother invited me to have dinner with him tonight. He’s probably going to give me another long lecture about how I’m ruining my liver, but little does he know that I’m probably going to bail halfway through to go to a club.”

“Why even bother to suffer through half of a lecture? You might as well skip the whole thing, especially when you know he’s going to act like a pompous arse who pretends to know everything there is about anything.”

“I assume he’s given you lectures before,” Leah laughs.

Harper rolls her eyes playfully. “Loads of them. He doesn’t know how to keep his opinion to himself.”

“He’s always been like this, always putting in his own two cents. But you’re right, I should leave now before he shows up. He only wanted to come to this place because he’s spying on some date, our dinner is just an afterthought.” Leah raises her eyebrows.

“He came to spy on someone’s date?”

“Yeah. Originally he told me it was because some of his coworkers were meeting up here after their shift, but then he accidentally let it slip that someone he knows was going on a date here. It wasn’t hard to put together the pieces after that. Anyway, I should get going now. I don’t want him to see me.” Leah turns to leave.

“Would you mind if I joined you? I really need something to drink, and the strongest thing they’ve got in there is some one hundred year old, really expensive wine.”

Leahs sticks her arm out in greeting. “Of course! A girls’ night is so much better than a singles’ night.”

Harper wraps her arm around Leah’s. “Tell me about it,” she murmurs.

***

“Talk to me, baby. I'm going after this sweet-sweet craving, whoa-oh. Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy. Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean. Walk for me, baby I'll be diddy and you'll be naomi, whoa-oh. Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy. Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean,” Harper and Leah sing simultaneously. It’s been a couple of hours since they came to this club, and both of them were wasted.

Dancing on top of a bar was not something Harper did ever, but Leah had somehow convinced her that it would be a good idea. Sober Harper might have been embarrassed by the male attention she was receiving up there, but drunk Harper was absolutely relishing in the feeling.

Leah spins Harper underneath her arm, an act that almost causes Harper to trip off the side and crack her head open, but strong arms wrap around her waist before her head can hit the floor. With her feet flat on the ground now Harper resumes back to dancing without faltering. She doesn’t even turn around to check who it was that caught her, instead just shaking her hips against her savior as a thank you.

“What the fuck are you two doing?” Someone growls in Harper’s ear. She frowns in response.

“Why do you always show up when I really don’t want to see you?” Harper groans as she jumps away from Harry.

Harry glares down at her. His fists are clenched at his side, but his whole body tenses up after he sees his sister dance in front of some man that was much older than her.

“You stay right there,” he orders Harper, pointing his finger at her as if chastising a child. Harper rolls her eyes while Harry makes his way to the other side of the bar to get his sister down.

Harper walks away before she can see if Harry could get Leah down without a fight. There was no way in hell she was going to listen to one of Harry’s orders ever again. She walks out to the middle of the dance floor, and it only takes her seconds to find a male that’s willing to dance with her. She’s swinging her hips against his like she had been doing to Harry just minutes ago.

“You two are like fucking toddlers, I swear,” Harry yells as he grabs onto Harper’s arm and pulls her away from her dance partner. The man Harper was dancing with looks like he’s about to say something, but after catching Harry’s murderous stare, he thinks better of it and walks away.

“Hey! I’m dancing!” Harper cries as Harry drags her and Leah behind him.

“Don’t start with me, Harper!”

“God, Harry, you’re so boring!” Leah whines.

“Seriously! Leave us alone, we were having fun before you got here,” Harper agrees.

Harry shakes his head. “I’m taking the two of you home.”

“That’s so lame!” Leah gasps.

Harry gets them through the front doors of the club where they can finally talk properly.

“Well, if me saving your life from overdrinking is lame, then I’m so terribly sorry,” Harry mutters sarcastically.

“I don’t want you to drive me home. I’ll just take the tube or something,” Harper tries, and fails miserably, at pulling her wrist out of Harry’s grasp.

“Oh, I’ll go with you!” Leah squeals out with a giggle.

“No! You two will get in my car,” Harry stated firmly. “Now shut up, we’re almost there.”

Both Leah and Harper groan together.

Harry opens the passenger side door for one of them to slide into the car, neither of them make the move to get in.

“I don’t want to sit next to you. I’d rather take the back seat, thanks,” Harper tells him with a shake of her head.

Leah nods in agreement. “There’s more room back there.”

Harry sighs and shuts the door. He then opens the door to the back and both women get in the car without another complaint. After making sure both of them were settled and properly buckled, Harry makes his way to the driver seat.

“I’ve spent the last two hours looking for you, you know,” Harry points out while watching both Harper and Leah through the rearview mirror.

“You didn’t have to,” Leah murmurs and rests her head against Harper’s shoulder.

“The two of you were missing! You never bothered to text me that you wanted to cancel our plans, and then Clover told me that Harper was missing and hadn’t been returning any of her texts.”

“Shit! I knew I forgot to do something,” Harper curses. She was already making plans on how she should apologize to Clover about this.

“And I’ve been texting the two of you all night! Why couldn’t one of you just look at your goddamn phone! You might as well not even have one.”

Leah’s eyes begin to shut throughout Harry’s lecture. Harper leans her head on top Leah’s and her eyes also close. Neither of them were paying attention to what Harry was saying while they were awake, so both figured that it would be okay to fall asleep. It takes Harry another two minutes of ranting before he finally realizes that both of them are asleep.

He watches them through the rearview mirror while he’s stopped at a red light. With a loud sigh he murmurs, “the two of you will be the death of me.”

***

“Thanks for doing this, Thea. Again, I’m so sorry for waking you up.”

It takes Harper a few moments, but her eyes finally open after struggling to lift them up. She watches as Harry helps a half-asleep Leah out of the car.

“It’s no problem. I usually do this anyway,” a familiar feminine voice rings out before Harry shuts the door. The car encases her in silence.

Harper watches as Harry and a girl she vaguely remembers as Thea talk outside of the car. She looks hopeful for a few moments, but it’s crushed after Harry gestures to the back seat and Thea’s eyes connect with Harper’s. Harry sends her one last wave before getting back in the car.

“Looks like someone’s awake and ready to talk.”

Harper groans quietly. “Please Harry, not right now.”

“I just-”

“Harry! In the morning we’ll talk, alright? We’ll talk about tonight, we’ll talk about earlier today, hell we’ll talk about last week if it means you’ll just shut up for five minutes!”

Harry sighs. “Clover told me what happened with Zachary.”

“And Leah told me that you came to spy on my date.” Harper rests her head against the cool glass of the window. She suddenly wasn’t feeling all that well.

Harry rolls his eyes. “Of course she did. The little bugger could never keep a secret.”

“You really confuse me sometimes.”

Harry laughs quietly. “How?”

“Well, some days I think you like me, and then others you want to kill me. I never know when I’m supposed to be fighting you and when I’m supposed to let you tie me up again.”

Harry’s lips turn up into a smirk. “So you’ve thought about that night too?”

“Of course! How could I not? I mean fuck, I’ve been thinking more about your bum now that I’ve seen it bare.”

Harry raises an eyebrow and watches her through the mirror with amusement. “You’ve been thinking about it more?”

“Well, I’ve always thought that it looked nice in your tight jeans, but now everytime I see it I can’t stop thinking about that night!”

“So you look at it often then?”

Harper’s cheeks flush as she finally realizes what she’s admitted. “Oh, fuck off.”

Harry lets out a loud bark of a laugh, and Harper kicks the back of his chair in response.

“Alright, alright,” Harry says after his laughter finally dies down. “We’ll talk about this when you’re sober and less… flushed.” That earns him another kick to the seat.

Harper groans. “Just get me home in one piece. I’m going back to sleep to save myself from this misery.”

Harry smiles lightly. “Of course Harper, I’ll always get you home safe and sound.”

#covert affairs #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #1dff #one direction fanfiction

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sapphicnile · 7 years

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The Struggle of Tough Decisions

Pairins: Scorpius Malfoy x Albus Potter, Dean Thomas x Seamus Finnigan

Summary: Albus and Scorpius have been dating in secret but after an argument that may have left a mess that cannot be fixed, Albus finds comfort in talking to his dad's old classmates Dean and Seamus, at the 2023 DA reunion as they chronicle their own love story.

Words: 10,767

Albus opened his eyes and smiled when he realised Scorpius was cuddled close to him, his light snores filling the room’s silence. He could hear footsteps downstairs as his family got ready for the day so he could only hope no one came upstairs to wake the pair up. They should get up soon to avoid the threat of it but the position they were in was far too comfortable to leave.

He heard Scorpius softly yawn and he nuzzled closer to him. Albus smiled. “Mornin’,” He mumbled.

“Good morning.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, simply holding each other, Albus tracing his finger along Scorpius’ back as Scorpius kept his face buried into Albus’s shoulder.

They rarely got moments like this. At Hogwarts it was almost impossible. They stole kisses in the rare moments their dorm was empty but they couldn’t snog without the risk of being caught. They’d thought about trying an empty classroom but before they could, another couple – a straight couple – had been caught by Peeves who was joyfully singing about it as he flew around the castle. The last thing they needed was Peeves catching them and the entire school finding out about them. Exactly the opposite of what he needed, everyone knowing Harry Potter’s Slytherin son and a former Death Eater’s son were snogging each other. That would definitely make the front page of every gossip column. Earlier in their friendship there was enough talk about them simply being friends, about how Harry Potter’s son could go on such a path, being sorted into Slytherin adding fuel to the fire. He avoided thinking about that situation but their relationship in this form would do nothing but restart sneers that ended years ago.

Since it was the summer holidays they took the chance for a ‘sleepover’. Or really, their only real chance to kiss, or cuddle in the current case. His dad had come around to their friendship and Mr Malfoy had never had a problem with their friendship. He still wasn’t sure how either of their parents would react. No matter how things were it was still scary as fuck when you were the child of one of the most famous wizards in the world.

They were still cuddled together when Albus heard footsteps walking down the corridor. In his panic he jumped out of his bed – Scorpius grunting as Albus’s arms pulled from under him – and Albus almost tripped on the foldup bed that was set out for Scorpius. He breathed heavily as the footsteps passed his room and grew softer as whoever it was got farther away.

Albus let out a breath of relief and sat down on the foldup bed. “That was close,” he said.

He looked back up at Scorpius who was now sat up and pressing his lips together. “What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Scorpius muttered and tore his grey eyes away.

“No, something’s up, what’s wrong?” Albus asked as he sat back next to Scorpius and wrapped his arms around his waist. Scorpius didn’t meet his eye but he let Albus rock him gently on the spot.

“Scorp, c’mon, what is it?”

Scorpius sighed. “You didn’t need to react like that.”

“What do you mean?” Albus asked confused.

Scorpius met his eye. Albus hadn’t gotten over how much he loved Scorpius’s grey eyes and stark white hair. He looked exactly like a younger version of his father, much like Albus did with his own. Same untameable hair, same bright green eyes.

“Jumping off the bed like that,” he said.

“Well how exactly would we explain why we were sleeping in the same bed, cuddling no less?”

Scorpius’s eyes left his, but Albus didn’t miss him mutter, “The truth?”

Albus held back a sighed. This again. Scorpius was far from pleased about keeping their relationship a secret. Scorpius had learnt to not care what others thought about him after years of rumours that he was the son of Voldemort. He’d made it clear he desperately wanted to come out but he wanted to do it with Albus rather than alone. Albus felt awful about making Scorpius feel this way but it was scary. Scary that the entire wizarding community would be buzzing about it. Scary that it’ll be a new reason to be seen as a disappointment. Scary that he was in love with his best friend.

That was probably the biggest thing. He broke the biggest rule; do not ever fall in love with your best friend. Do not ever let them know your feelings. Do not ever kiss them. Do not ever start a relationship with them. He broke all the rules. He was fucked a long time ago.

“Babe-“ he began but Scorpius met his eye.

“Albus,” he interrupted, his voice rising slightly and standing up. “I’m tired of this, okay? I don’t want to do this with you if you refuse to tell people.” Tears were prickling in his eyes and that was the last thing Albus wanted to see.

“Scorp, we talked about this.”

“No,” Scorpius bit at him. “No, you said we should keep it quiet for now and I agreed because what other goddamn choice did I have? I want to be with you but you keeping it quiet isn’t easy. I don’t want to sneak around with you. I figured at this point you’d stop caring so much about what other people think.”

Albus stared at him. Scorpius was rarely like this. He rarely raised his voice. He rarely tried to fight. It was only when he was really emotional and he was far past that point. Angry tears were rolling down his face as he spoke.

“It’s hard Scorp, you’re my best friend,” he said softly, his eyes drifting away. “And… and a guy.”

“Oh what, scared everyone will be disappointed that Harry Potter has a huge fucking gay for a son?” his tone was hostile, a jab that was meant to hurt.

“It’s not that – well not just that at least,” Albus replied. “It’s that how I feel about you is scary as fuck. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Scorpius took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “Well, I think acting like a fucking wanker is going to ruin our friendship much faster than us dating.”

Albus opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He was right but that didn’t lower Albus’s fear.

When he didn’t reply Scorpius sighed. He picked up the bag he brought and stuffed his belongings into it.

“What are you doing?” Albus asked softly.

“I’m going home,” he muttered in reply.

“Scorp-“

“Not now, Albus. I don’t really want to be around you right now.” Before Albus could squeeze in another word, Scorpius Disapparated out of the room.

Albus stared at the spot where Scorpius had been. Scorpius wasn’t the type to leave when things were hostile but this wasn’t a situation they usually found themselves in. They both avoided going into detail of what their relationship meant, much less if they were going to tell people. They were both gay so it’s not like it could be avoided forever. But it was far too overwhelming. It was times like this he really wished he was like James. Athletic, a Gryffindor, straight. But he wasn’t any of those things. He’d continue to be the family disappointment, the black sheep. He definitely looked like his father but he was the farthest thing from being like him.

He made his way downstairs and when questioned where Scorpius was, he simply muttered his dad sent an owl telling him to come home. He was meant to stay a few more days but not so much that it would raise too many questions. His mum put a stack of pancakes in front of him and he poured honey on top of them.

“Can’t wait until I can Apparate everywhere,” Lily said taking a huge bite of her pancakes. “It’ll be so much easier.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” his mum scolded. Lily grumbled and swallowed, muttering something under her breath.

“It’s hard to learn, Lils,” James said, spreading strawberry jam on his pancakes.

“Albus can do it so it can’t be that hard.”

“Haha,” he muttered in response.

“Stop arguing, kids,” their dad replied, his eyes not leaving the Daily Prophet. “Keep that up and you can’t come to the DA reunion.”

Albus almost groaned. He knew there was no way they wouldn’t be going to the reunion. When they had the first reunion in 2014 at the Quidditch World Cup, all the members who had children had brought them. This year would be no different, almost ten years later, this time renting out a hall in Diagon Alley. Now that they were all older they weren’t really given a choice. He didn’t really want to go through being told a million times that he’d grown. And as far as he knew no one in the DA had a kid sorted into Slytherin so he wouldn’t even see a friendly face aside from his cousins. Although, he still didn’t get along too well with them. Maybe aside from Professor Longbottom but he was still a teacher.

Lily muttered a “fine” and resumed to stuff pancakes into her mouth.

“Do I really have to go?” Albus asked.

“Yes, you do,” his dad said. “Don’t you want to see your cousins?”

“I could see them at Hogwarts if they talked to me,” he muttered.

“You’re coming,” his dad said defiantly.

“Fine,” he muttered. He almost added “if they’re okay with having a Slytherin there.” No matter how good his relationship with his dad was, distaste for Slytherins would always exist. Even being sorted into Hufflepuff wouldn’t have been as bad. At least people would’ve known he was loyal and hardworking, and at least people spent time with Hufflepuffs and not avoided them in the school corridor. Even Cedric Diggory was a Hufflepuff and he definitely would’ve had serious competition in the Tri Wizard Tournament when it came to being picked. It was a huge reason none of his cousins spent time with him. No matter what he did, no matter how much he tried to connect with them, he’d always be the cousin that got into Slytherin.

“Why couldn’t we have had it at the world cup last year?” James asked.

“Not everyone got tickets, more people can come this year, especially if we do it in a hall and rather than informally,” their dad explained. Albus was pretty thankful it wasn’t at a Quidditch game, he definitely didn’t want to be forced to play a game since he hated it so much with the add on of the winners celebrating for hours into the night.

“Do we have to wear dress robes?” Lily asked.

“’Course not,” he replied. “But at least try,” he said that while looking straight at Albus.

“Yes, yes, dad, I’ll try,” he grumbled in reply.

“C’mon, aren’t you at least a little excited to see some adult wizards, especially ones that fought in the second world war?” James asked.

“I’ve met ‘em before,” he muttered.

James sighed. “Fine, be like that.”

…

They travelled via floo powder to get to Diagon Alley since Lily was too young to Apparate and their mum didn’t want her to experience it too young. Lily tried to protest but they quickly got to their destination. Albus’s Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione were already there with their kids. Unsurprisingly, Rose had a book under her arm and an excited smile on her face. She was definitely excited to meet some older wizards, especially veterans of the Battle of Hogwarts. A few people were already there and cracks could be heard around the room as they Apparated, and more people travelling by floo powder.

Albus moved to the corner of the room, a glass of fire whisky with him. Some of his cousins had grouped together, seeming to split by age groups. DA members’ children who were friends grouped together too. Albus never really realised how everyone else seemed to get along with each other while he spent his time with Scorpius. It seemed so natural how they got along while he just stood at the sidelines. He didn’t mind people watching, it did save him from “you have grown so much” comments and awkward interactions with people who clearly didn’t want to be around him.

He let his eyes drift around the room, watching the DA members greet each other with hugs. He saw Professor Longbottom Apparate in with his wife, his round face grinning as he hugged Albus’s father. It was strange that this was the man who essentially saved the Wizarding World and had turned to being the Herbology teacher at Hogwarts. He was pretty good at his job though.

In the midst of wizards Apparating, he saw two men he vaguely recognised Apparate into the room. His family had gone to the 2022 Quidditch World Cup game held in France last year; Ireland vs France. His parents talked briefly to them, in nothing more than a quick catch up, before separating to find their seats. He didn’t remember them from 2014 when the last DA reunion was held but his young age might’ve played a role. He watched the taller of the two give friendly hugs to his dad and mum, clearly pleased to see each other.

There was something he didn’t miss though, something about the way they were standing together. The shorter of the two was talking animatedly, his hands touching the taller every so often, and the taller smiling down at the other, a look that was undeniably adoration.

He watched the way they interacted, the way the taller gave slung his arm over the shorter’s shoulders and gave it an affectionate squeeze, quickly dropping his arm. The way the shorter looked at the taller and would briefly brush his arm against the others. And they each wore a gold band around their left ring finger.

It was painfully obvious they were a couple, even without the rings.

His eyes followed the pair as they talked to other DA members, avidly catching up. The affectionate gestures continued, easy to miss if you weren’t paying close attention. They seemed… happy. Like, maybe he and Scorpius could be like that one day.

“Enjoying the party, Albus?”

He tore his eyes away from the couple to see Professor Longbottom, holding a glass of fire whisky, his cheeks plump from his grin.

“I guess,” he replied. Professor Longbottom had always been his favourite teacher, he always was one of the most kind at the school and never treated him – or Scorpius – the way others tended to.

“How’s your holidays going, finishing your homework?”

As he spoke he tried to look past him to the couple, grunting an “uh hu” as he did.

With a curious look Professor Longbottom followed Albus’s gaze to the couple who were making themselves comfortable in a sitting area, sitting on a loveseat that was adjacent to a couple of armchairs.

“Ah, Dean and Seamus, haven’t seen those two in years,” Professor Longbottom grinned turning back to Albus.

“Were you friends?” Albus asked, tearing his eyes away from the pair.

“Yeah, we were in the same year as your dad – they’re Gryffindors too. Roomed with them for too many years. Although during seventh year it was just me and Seamus – the shorter one – since Dean’s a Muggle-born and your dad an uncle were… well, you definely know the history.”

Albus nodded. “Must’ve missed each other pretty bad,” he muttered, looking at the two again. Dean laughed at something Seamus said and Seamus kept his hand on Dean’s knee affectionately.

“Yeah, definitely. Enough was going on in our seventh year, worst thing would to not go through it with the person you’re closest to.”

“Was Dean in Azkaban then?”

Professor Longbottom shook his head. “No, he was on the run then when he got back to Hogwarts he fought in the battle. I don’t know the full details but on the run is better than Azkaban.”

“I’d bet,” he muttered.

As he looked back at the couple he felt Professor Longbottom’s eyes on him. “You caught on that they’re a couple, then?”

Albus tore his eyes away. He nodded in response and the smile that had returned to Professor Longbottom’s lips didn’t falter. “You should talk to them.”

He stared at his teacher. Was he implying what he thought he was? “What’d you mean?”

He shrugged. “Nothin’, sure they got stories. Or advice.”

He looked at his teacher, then back at the couple. They seemed to be focussed on each other but not so much that it’d be rude to try and talk to them. But he hadn’t spoken to them himself, only in the awkward shadow of his parents.

“So they were best friends first, then?” he asked.

“Yep, definitely a story there.”

“I’d bet.”

He politely said goodbye to his professor and walked to the couple. How the hell was he going to approach this? He can’t just awkwardly go up to a couple he’d never spoken to before and ask “hey how’d you start dating?” But maybe their story would prompt him to sort things out with Scorpius as Professor Longbottom so heavily implied. With a final skull of his fire whisky he walked to the two and put on a smile that was somewhere between awkward and friendly.

“Damn, is that little Albus, there?” Seamus asked when he got closer.

“Don’t swear in front of the kid, Seamus,” Dean scolded, but there was affection in his voice.

“I’m not a kid, I’m seventeen,” he replied.

“Okay fine, you’re a full grown adult,” Seamus said with a cheeky smile.

“Did you want something?” Dean asked politely, ignoring his husband’s remarks.

“Uh, yes, sort of?” it came out more as a question than he would’ve preferred. “I just wanted to ask something?”

Dean and Seamus exchanged a brief look, their faces suggesting they were expecting a question they’d been asked multiple times before. “Okay, what?” Dean asked.

“How’d you guys, y’know, go from friends to now?”

That was definitely not the question either expected. Seamus gave Dean a confused look but Dean kept his eyes on Albus.

“Uh, why do you want to know?” Dean didn’t sound offended by the question but he was definitely confused by it.

“I’m just… curious?” he stammered out. He couldn’t keep the nerves out of his tone as hard as he tried as he face turned pink.

A knowing look passed through the two, a small smile on Seamus’s lips. “Really, aye?” he asked. “Just want to know our epic love story?” Seamus asked.

“It’s not epic,” Dean argued with a smile.

“Anything that involves a war – especially separation – is epic.”

“Is there more to why you want to know?” Dean asked. “If there is, we won’t tell your dad.”

“Oh yeah, we’ll keep it between us,” Seamus added.

When Albus didn’t reply, opting to stare at his feet, Dean said, “C’mon, pull up a chair. It’s okay.”

Albus sat in the armchair next to them and took a deep breath. He looked at them, trying to not let his eyes drift away. “Me and my best friend became more but he’s angry with me, because I won’t tell people.”

What he didn’t expect was the couple to smile at him. “Ah yes, that’s all too familiar,” Dean said. He turned to his husband. “Sounds like he’s a lot like you, eh?”

Seamus laughed. “Yep, definitely. You’re friends with Malfoy’s kid, right?”

Albus’s cheeks tinted but he nodded. “Yeah, it’s him.”

He didn’t understand how they could take it so lightly. Maybe because it had been so many years and they were passed the point he and Scorpius are at now.

“Whelp, fuckin’ Potter’s kid and Malfoy’s kid, who’d’ve guessed?” Seamus said as if he were ready to burst into laughter. That almost made him leave, he hated it when people were like this. He didn’t need to hear sneers about being the opposite of what was expected of him, even in a light hearted way.

“He’s saying that because they hated each other,” Dean assured when he saw Albus’s face.

“Yeah, people were bettin’ on Rose and Scorpius though,” Seamus said with a good natured laugh.

That brought a small smile to Albus’s lips. He remembered how Scorpius had that very brief crush on his cousin, one he later realised was him forcing himself to like a girl. Albus still wondered what would’ve happened if they did date.

“So uh, the story?” Albus prompted.

“Well, it’s a little long but we’ve got hours,” Seamus said with a grin. He cleared his throat. “You should know we weren’t just friends; we were best friends.”

…

Seamus had gone through some of his homework as he lay in the empty dorm room. His roommates had gone off to Harry’s Dumbledore’s Army business. He scoffed at that, surely his mother was right and it was simply all some publicity stunt.

…

“Why would you think that?” Albus interrupted.

“Because I was a stupid kid, can you not interrupt?”

…

Dean had decided to join but Seamus still wasn’t sure. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Harry but seriously, how the hell could You-Know-Who be back? The git did like to be the centre of attention far too often. He was still suspicious over the Goblet of Fire fiasco from the previous year. Even if it was that pretty boy Hufflepuff with hair that looked like it’d be real nice to run his fingers through and really nice grey eyes, who was the champion, at least he got in fairly.

He heard footsteps coming up the stairs and turned his head to see his best friend Dean walking in, a grin on his face.

“So how was it?” Seamus asked.

“Sorry, sworn to secrecy,” Dean replied with a cheeky smirk and a shrug.

“Really? Can’t tell me nothin’?”

“Well, I can say it was boring without you.” Dean fell onto Seamus’s bed, pulling up next to him and smiled.

“Still not gon’ join,” Seamus replied.

“Your call,” Dean shrugged. “So, excited for Christmas?”

“I guess,” he replied with a shrug. “Miss me family.”

Dean smiled at him. “Well, hopefully you won’t miss me too much.” He playfully poked Seamus side. Seamus flinched and laughed, trying not to blush at the comment. Whatever he was feeling for Dean had been easy to ignore when he wasn’t making comments like that.

“Who says I’d miss you at all?” he replied with a smile.

“Wanker,” he said affectionately.

…

Seamus didn’t know why he loved being in the cold so much. A part of him enjoyed the feeling of the cold biting his skin. Another part liked to watch snowflakes leave a fluffy blanket on the ground. Being at Hogwarts gave the add on of people watching. Despite being very much of an extrovert sometimes it was nice to watch people as they went about their business.

He watched some of his classmates. Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, who were as inseparable as he and Dean were, sat with a book in their laps reading together. He was friends with them, good enough to ask Lavender to the Yule Ball as a friend. At the time she seemed like an option that made sense, maybe become boyfriend and girlfriend. But he spent the entire night with Dean too. Dean didn’t bring a date so he stayed with Seamus. You’d expect that Dean would’ve been a third wheel on the night but more than anything, Lavender was. She didn’t seem to annoyed with it, turning to talk to Padma, Parvati’s twin instead. That definitely marked it as a platonic date.

But during the night he’d tried to figure out why he didn’t have interest in her. She was pretty, he knew that much. But that’s where it ended. He didn’t want her to be his girlfriend. He didn’t want to kiss her. He didn’t want to do any of that. It was a constant thing for him. Why did no girl make him feel like that?

But when he had the chance to look around the room while Dean left to get a drink and Lavender was busy talking to Padma, his eyes fell onto Cedric Diggory who was dancing with Cho Chang. He was grinning at her and he was dressed pretty sharp in his dress robes. His soft hair had looked softer than ever. Despite being a seeker his build was strong and he was tall. Taller than Dean but not by much. He was extremely handsome, that was something he couldn’t ignore. He totally understood why so many girls fawned over him. He didn’t realise he was staring until Cedric looked right at him. He hadn’t looked creeped out, he simply gave Seamus a friendly smile and Seamus had looked away quickly, his face going red.

He didn’t know why he stared. He just got lost in Cedric’s appearance. He hadn’t known why. He hadn’t known why he hadn’t reacted to Fleur like all the others guy did. Whenever Fleur would enter a room Dean would go stiff and his eye wouldn’t leave the girl. He didn’t understand why he didn’t feel that why. He knew she was pretty but he didn’t understand why Cedric made him feel the way Fleur made the other boys feel. He didn’t understand why he looked at Cedric the way the girls were.

When it had dawned on him why he almost had a panic attack.

…

“You had a crush on Cedric Diggory?” Albus was close to laughing. “Seriously?”

“Hey! A lot of people did!” Seamus argued.

“He had it pretty bad, I don’t know how people didn’t notice.”

“Well, you didn’t. And I wasn’t the one drooling over Fleur, or the Veela at the ‘94 world cup.”

“Hey, gay boys ain’t effected so get off your superiority.”

Albus cleared his throat. “Uh, can you continue?”

…

His crush on Cedric didn’t last too long. The crush itself had manifested into utter distaste for him and belittling him to others whenever he could, the target being his looks. No one would have noticed his crush if he talked about them in a sarcastic tone.

That year felt like a long time ago. His crush was gone before Cedric’s death and attraction had snatched on to an even worse option; Dean.

Dean had definitely bulked up during the summer holidays before fifth year. He grown a few inches taller and he jaw was sharper. Seamus hadn’t ever noticed Dean like that but when he started to it didn’t cease. And it was scary as fuck.

A snowball hit Seamus in the back of his head and he turned to see a smirking Dean coming to sit next to him.

“Lookin’ at girls are you?” he asked playfully.

Seamus patted off the snow from his head and blushed. “Was the snowball necessary?” he asked.

“Yes, of course.”

“Wanker,” he muttered playfully.

Dean smiled at him and looked at Lavender and Parvati. “So, were you ever going to ask Lavender out again?” he asked.

Seamus’s gaze dropped to his lap. “Uh, nah. I didn’t really fancy her.”

“I’m surprised she wasn’t angry you ignored her like Padma was at Weasley.”

Seamus smiled. “Yeah, me too.” She honestly hadn’t seemed to care much at all.

“You really didn’t need to talk to me instead just because I didn’t have a date.”

“Well, maybe I talked to you because I like you more than I like her,” he said, smiling.

Dean laughed. “Yeah, and she probably wanted to go with Diggory like every other girl in this school.”

He had to stop himself from saying, “and probably some of the boys” but he didn’t. Instead, he said, “You mean like how you wanted to go with Fleur?”

Dean waved him off. “Yeah, I guess. But to be fair I heard she’s part Veela so it wasn’t totally my fault. I’m surprised you didn’t take interest.”

“Uh, well maybe I just have a resistance or somethin’.” You could call it a resistance. Not being attracted to girls was definitely a resistance.

Dean chuckled. “Yeah well looks like most of the guys don’t so don’t hold it against me.”

Seamus smiled and looked away. His eyes drifted over to some seventh year Hufflepuffs. There was a mixture of genders so Dean wouldn’t get suspicious but his eyes fell on a Hufflepuff. His hair was jet black and was of Korean decent. His teeth were impossibly white. He still didn’t know his name but Seamus remembered him catching his eye in first year. It took his mind off of the feeling brought in his gut by Dean for a sparing moment.

“Anyways, were you wanting to come back inside? It’s fuckin’ freezing and you still have homework to finish,” Dean said, cutting Seamus out of his trance.

He looked back his best friend, who was smiling right at him. Dean was the much more studious one of the pair and if it weren’t for him most of Seamus’s homework would’ve always waited until the last minute.

“Will you help me?” Seamus asked with his best smile.

Dean smiled back. “Okay fine, only because I like you so much.”

…

“Dean, Seamus! Come sit with us!” Lavender said, waving her arm as they passed the compartment. With a shrug the pair made their way into the compartment, sitting across from Lavender and Parvati.

“Hey guys,” Seamus said. “Where’s ye sister, Parvati?”

She shrugged. “She always sits with her friends,” she said. “Anything special happening over the holiday?”

“I’m spending it with me dad’s side of the family,” Seamus said. “They’re muggles though and don’t know ‘bout Hogwarts. Think I’m at some muggle boarding school.”

“I’m sure your girlfriend misses you,” Lavender said with a playful smile.

“Haha,” Seamus replied sarcastically. “What’re you doing then?”

“Just the usual stuff, family dinner. My family are all wizards so I don’t need to hide anything. Down side is they’ll ask how I’m doing in my classes.”

“We don’t celebrate Christmas but I really like the holidays,” smiled Parvati. “Mostly because I get to see Padma. Being separated by house really sucks.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, weird how you were separated but all the Weasley’s are together.”

“What about you?” Lavender asked. “You’re a muggle born, right?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, just spending it with my mum and step family. Nothing special.”

“I’ll be sure to send you some letters so you’re not too bored ‘round the muggles,” Seamus smiled.

“You better,” Dean smiled at him. As he did, Seamus didn’t miss the knowing look the girls exchanged.

…

“So they knew?” Albus asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Yeah, they were pretty intuitive,” Seamus laughed.

“Or we were just obvious,” Dean interjected.

“Yeah, that too. Kind of silly to think we didn’t catch on to the other really.”

“Yeah, especially when you were looking at guys right in front of him,” Albus said with a laugh.

“Okay, okay, baby gay me was too obvious. But it was also a different time,” Seamus defended. “I was scared and confused – which we’ll get to soon.”

…

Seamus’s dad invited some friends over a few days before Christmas, a few deciding to bring their children. One brought their daughter who was a year younger than Seamus. She kept smiling at him from across the room and when she got the chance she made her way to Seamus’s side.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi?” he replied. She was pretty, he’d admit that. She kind of looked like Lavender. Her hair was straight blonde, reaching to her waist. She was wearing bright red lipstick which surprisingly hadn’t found its way to her teeth. And she had dark brown eyes, as dark as Dean’s.

He chewed his lip as she batted her eye lashes at him. He wasn’t used to girls around his age showing interest in him. Most girls at Hogwarts around his age had known him for years and that seemed to lead to them not seeing him as a romantic prospect. Other guys obviously showed no interest in him. Other guys didn’t think about other guys like that.

So he took in the girl. He flirted along with her. She was definitely intrigued when he said he went to a boarding school in Scotland. He avoided the subject and simply asked about her. He had absolutely no interest in her but this was what you’re meant to do at his age. He was meant to snog girls when he could, especially one showing so much interest.

“Wan’ go outside? Somewhere alone?” he asked. He couldn’t suggest his room as it had all his magical possessions.

She nodded and they walked to the back yard. She giggled as he took her gently by the wrist and pulled her to the bushes. When they found a secluded spot she grinned at him and he smiled at her. Yeah, she was definitely really pretty but not the pretty he wanted to kiss. Not Diggory, not that seventh year Hufflepuff, not Dean. She was a girl and no matter how much he forced himself he didn’t feel how he was meant to about girls.

Regardless of that he kissed her. She smiled against his lips and kissed him back. It wasn’t awful, he’d admit that. But it didn’t feel right, he wasn’t enjoying it. When he looked at guys, when they smiled at him, he got knots in his stomach. He felt nothing when this girl smiled at him flirtatiously. He felt nothing when her fingers tangled in his hair. He didn’t want to snog her. He didn’t want to snog any girl.

He wanted to snog fucking Dean.

…

Seamus was still slightly dazed from his realisation over Christmas break. Being a poof was bad enough but this crush on Dean was the worst it could get. He’d been pushing it from his mind for months but after snogging the muggle girl, he couldn’t deny it anymore.

“Hey, wanker!”

Dean turned and smiled when he saw Dean pushing his trolley along platform 10 of King’s Cross station. Seamus smiled and left his trolley with his mum to run to him.

“Aye, dickhead,” he said and patted Dean’s back a friendly hug. When he stepped away he greeted Dean’s mum with a nod. “Ma’am,” he smiled.

“Hello, Seamus,�� she said with a small laugh and a smile. “Enjoy your Christmas?”

Seamus nodded at her. “Yes, ma’am.” He turned back to Dean. “C’mon, let’s get a good seat ‘fore they’re all taken.”

They ran onto platform 9 ¾ and gave their mothers their farewells before getting onto the train.

“So, anythin’ fun happen over the holidays?” Dean asked when they found an empty compartment.

“I snogged a girl,” Seamus said, scratching the back of his neck. Maybe if he pretended he didn’t have these feelings for Dean they’ll just go away.

Dean smiled at him. “Did you, aye?” he asked. “So you got yourself a girlfriend?”

“Nah, we just snogged a little. We’ll probably never see each other again.” And he didn’t want to. When they stopped snogging he made an excuse and ran up to his room, wiping the lipstick marks from his mouth and lain on his bed, trying to process his realisation. He knew he was attracted to Dean but an actual crush was different. It made him sick and he was angry with himself for feeling this way.

“Shame, no girl at school want to snog you.”

“What’s this about snogging?”

The compartment door opened as Parvati and Lavender bounced in, sitting across from the two.

“Seamus snogged a girl during the holidays,” he smiled and Seamus blushed.

“You did, huh?” Lavender asked, smiling.

“It was just some muggle girl, her dad works with mine,” he muttered.

“So when’s the wedding?” Parvati teased.

Seamus smiled. “Keep that up and you can’t come.”

They bantered a little and talked about their holidays

When they got back to Hogwarts Seamus and Dean went straight to their dorm, falling down onto Dean’s bed.

“So, what’ll take to convince you to come to the DA meeting?” Dean asked.

“Really, doin’ this again?” Seamus asked, turning his head to Dean.

“Look, can you come for one? Why do you refuse to believe You-Know-Who’s back?”

Seamus was silent for a moment. Truthfully, it was scary. If You-Know-Who was back that would mean death and terror. Dean was a muggle-born and everyone knew they would be at threat the most. He didn’t want to think of anything bad happening to Dean.

“I guess it’s just scary,” he said instead. “Anything could happen if he’s really back.”

“That’s why we need to learn to defend ourselves,” Dean said and he ran his fingers through Seamus’s hair. Seamus stopped himself from flinching away at that. “We even learnt how to do a Patronus.”

“Seriously?” Dean nodded. “Fine, I’ll go.”

…

“Expecto Patronum!” Seamus shouted and grinned when he saw something shoot out of his wand. It was a full Patronus but it only lasted a few moments. “I think it’s somethin’ hairy!”

“Nice, mate!” Dean grinned and patted his shoulder. He smiled at him over his shoulder and grinned back.

Before he could try enough times to figure out what it was, a house elf came into the room. Seamus looked in confusion but he warned everyone that Umbridge was coming. Before Seamus could react, Dean grabbed his hand and pulled him with him out of the Room of Requirement. He stumbled over his feet but got his footing, keeping up with Dean. Dean kept a firm grip on his hand so he was running faster than he was used to. They got to the Fat Lady and blurted out the password. He wasn’t able to check if any of the other Gryffindors were behind them but they panted in the common room, falling onto a couch.

“That was close,” he panted out.

“Definitely,” Dean nodded. “C’mon, let’s get to our dorm. Maybe we can avoid the bitch that way.”

Seamus nodded and they walked to their dorm. It was empty so they sat on Dean’s bed. They were quiet for a moment and Seamus let his sweaty hair fall into his face. His knee was pressing against Dean thigh as Seamus still lightly panted. He didn’t have the best stamina especially compared to Dean’s. It was nice holding Dean’s warm hand for a little bit though.

He heard Dean sigh and he felt Dean’s hand brush his hair out of his face. He was looking Seamus right in the eye and was chewing his bottom lip. He pulled his behind Seamus’s head and he closed the small space between them by bringing Seamus’s lips to his.

Their lips moved gently together, slowly. This was how he imagined kissing that girl should’ve felt. Rather than not minding the kiss, he felt butterflies in the pit of his stomach. He felt the connection. It felt… right.

He pulled away first, and sat up. Dean looked up at him, looking disappointed. Seamus looked down at him surprised. “Sorry,” Dean whispered. “I don’t know why I...”

“No, it’s… it was okay,” he stuttered out. Or more than okay. Really nice actually. “Found a loophole in that eight-inches rule though, aye?”

Dean didn’t laugh. He sat up and looked down at his lap. “That took a lot for me to do, y’know.”

Fuck. This wasn’t how this was meant to happen. But he didn’t want to see Dean hurt like this. He sat up and while sitting on his knees, he leaned over to Dean. He held Dean’s face in his hands as he gently kissed him. Dean seemed slightly surprised at first but he kissed him back, his hands holding his hips.

When he kissed Dean, it was like time had slowed down and sped up at the same time. It was a comforting feelings. Doing this with Dean felt right.

However, they were broken apart by loud footsteps. Seamus jumped off his bed and they both sat up, trying to act casual.

Neville came into the room and his face was read from running and was panting heavily.

“You okay, Longbottom?” Seamus asked.

He nodded, wheezing slightly and collapsed on his bed. Seamus looked back at Dean, who was sitting and hugging his knees. He smiled at Seamus and said, “Well, better get to bed.”

“Right,” Seamus said.

…

The dorm was empty when Seamus had gotten upstairs. He wasn’t sure where Dean was but he’d been avoiding him. He didn’t want to confront his feelings for Dean. Sure, he kissed him first but he didn’t let Dean leave it, he just had to kiss him back. Who knows how long they would’ve gone if Neville hadn’t walked in. They rarely got time alone in their dorm so if they were ever going to talk about what happened it’d have to be in times like this.

He stared at the ceiling, laid on his bed. His curtains were closed to not be disturbed. Maybe if Dean walked up he’d turn around. Maybe he’d just forget it happened. Maybe they’d just leave it behind them as a fluke, never speak of it again, and marry girls like they were meant to.

…

“You really thought that?” Albus asked, frowning at Seamus.

“It was the 90’s,” Seamus replied. “It was long before marriage equality. And we live in Ireland so we couldn’t officially get married until 2015.”

Dean nodded. “We both really didn’t know how to deal with the situation, things really were real different back then. Judgment and all. I didn’t care but…” his eyes darted to Seamus.

Seamus nodded, rather shamefully. “It was tough. When you’re told so much you’re meant to marry a girl falling, for a bloke, best friend or not, is tough.”

…

The door to the dorm opened and close and the curtains were pulled back at the foot of the bed. Seamus looked over to see Dean, grinning right at Seamus.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” Seamus replied, giving him an awkward smile.

“Room for ‘nother?”

Seamus smiled and shuffled over. They would lay in one of their beds together a lot. They just hadn’t done it with the curtains closed. That’d make it feel much smaller, a reason to lay closer.

“Sure,” he decided to say, shuffling over to make room. Dean smiled and crawled in next to him, He used his wand to close the curtain behind him and rested his head next to Seamus’s.

“Comfy?” he asked, playfully poking his side.

“I guess,” he mumbled.

Dean looked at him for a moment. “So… that kiss…” he prompted.

Seamus looked at him, his eyelids half closed. “Why’d you do it?”

Dean chewed his lip. “Maybe I have liked you for a while?” he said softly. “Why’d you kiss me? What happened to the muggle girl?”

Seamus pressed his lips together. “I didn’t like kissing her,” he replied, closing his eyes. “I don’t think girls are my things.”

“Oh,” was all Dean said.

“Oh?” he asked, opening his eyes. “That’s all you have to say?” when Dean didn’t say anything Dean sighed. “I didn’t actually want to be a poof,” he said, barely above a whisper, looking away.

He felt Dean run his fingers through his hair. “So what if you, or should I say we, are?”

Seamus was quiet, and he felt Dean’s warm breath as he sighed. “What if we… we keep it quiet?”

Seamus met his eye again. “What?”

“I really like you, and you kissed me back so I assumed you feel something too.”

“Yeah… I do.”

“So what if we just… don’t tell people until you’re ready?”

Seamus stared at him. Being together could mean anything. Disappointment from their families, friends turning on them, a much harder life. He knew this piece of him wouldn’t just disappear.

“Okay, yeah,” Seamus nodded. “I’d like that.”

…

For the months that followed they snuck around, snogging at times they could. The times that they could were rare but a lot of the time they stole smiles and sat together in classes – the latter was easy to get away with as they’d already done it since first year.

Seamus still wasn’t at the point where he could tell other people. If someone passed their dorm when they were alone cuddling or snogging, Seamus would jump off the bed and get away from Dean. Luckily if it was one of their dorm mates they were far too oblivious to notice either of them were acting a bit off.

Dean didn’t hide that it bothered him whenever Seamus did that. But he’d seemed to be avoiding to talk about it. Seamus understood he wasn’t the biggest fan of the situation. If they were going to be a couple – a real couple – he wanted people to know. It didn’t feel real if they just kissed in secret. He wasn’t ashamed of how he felt about Dean but he was scared as fuck.

They were settled on Dean’s bed, Seamus under Dean as they snogged under the sheets. Seamus’s in Dean’s hair, careful not to tug on the tight curls. The end of the year nearing and they’d hopefully see each other over the school holidays. Getting in time to snog – and maybe go on a date without raising suspicions – would be easier.

In the midst of their snogging, Seamus heard footsteps come close to the dorm. In his panic he shot up from under Dean, pushing Dean in the process, and falling to the floor, quickly crawling backward to his bed. He listened carefully as the footsteps grew softer and farther away from their room. He let out a huff of relief and stood up.

“That was close,” he said and looked at Dean. He looked… downright pissed off. “What?”

“Seriously?” he grunted. “You seriously did that?”

“And what would’ve we said if someone came in?” Seamus asked, crossing his arms.

“Tell them that we’re together maybe?” Dean glared. “And they wouldn’t’ve cared.”

“How do we know that?”

“You really think Longbottom’ll care? Or Potter and Weasley?” he said through gritted teeth. “Because they won’t, you git.”

“Dean, please calm down-“

“Calm down?” he huffed. “Look, I only said we could keep this quiet until you’re ready because I thought you’d quickly get over it. But I don’t know if I want to be with you if you’re going to be like this.”

“Like what?”

“Fucking closeted like this!”

“Fucking easy for you to say!” he snapped back, his rage coming out. “I can’t make meself like girls. You’re bi, if you wanted you can go off with a girl. So much easier since that’s what we’re meant to do.”

Dean took a deep breath and looked Seamus right in the eye. “Fine, maybe I’ll do that instead.” And before Seamus could get in another word Dean stormed out of the room. Tears prickled in his eyes and he took a deep breath and sank onto the floor.

He’d fucked up big time.

…

Seamus spent the summer without talking to Dean. The last time they’d really spoken was the blow out at each other. He’d thought of sending a letter to Dean but he couldn’t figure out what to write. He’d thought about apologising but he refused to. He had nothing to be sorry for. He wasn’t ready to tell anybody that he and Dean were dating, much less that he was gay.

…

“But you had a point!” Albus interrupted. “You weren’t ready.

“Right,” Seamus said. “But I also didn’t care that I was hurting Dean.” he looked at his husband and squeezed his knee. “Really, I did care way too much about how others thought of me. Me not wanting to tell people was what put the strain on our relationship. Some people are in unsafe situations where they can’t tell, but we weren’t. I just cared about people giving me dirty looks. I knew your dad and uncle – and Neville – wouldn’t care but I imagined the worst situation. I was mostly scared because of me family. Didn’t know how much old Irish values would impact ‘em. Me dad comes a Catholic family – obviously – and he had enough trouble processing me ma’m’s a witch.”

“So what happened then?”

…

“You gettin’ your homework done, Seamus?” his mum asked part way through breakfast.

His dad shuffled in his seat as he read the newspapers but Seamus ignored it. He didn’t need to be comfortable with it as long as he didn’t treat either him or his mum like they were possessed by a demon.

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

“You been talkin’ to any friends?”

He shook his head. “No.”

She gave him a concerned look. “What ‘bout Dean?”

At that question he stuffed eggs into his mouth and shrugged as he chewed. Thankfully his mum didn’t push, catching on there was some sort of rift between the two.

“Do you have other friends at the school?” his dad asked, looking over his newspaper.

“Yeah, I’m friends with a couple of the girls,” he said. If he needed any affirmation of liking girls that would hopefully do it.

“Pretty?” his dad asked.

“Yeah, I went to the formal with one last year.”

His dad smiled and resumed reading. He felt a pang in his stomach and took a long sip of his tea. He felt his mum’s eyes on him as he did, almost calculating his expression and mannerisms. God forbid she caught on.

“You should write Dean to see how he’s goin’,” she said.

“Maybe later.”

…

He didn’t end up sending him a letter and when he caught the Hogwarts express he didn’t go looking for him. He found a compartment with Lavender and Parvati, not bothering to look for Dean. Neither girl questioned him but they didn’t hide the concern on their faces. As they talked, Seamus stared out the window, watching the scenery pass. He didn’t get anything like he usually would when the trolley witch passed, even though he was pretty hungry but at the same time, he didn’t have an appetite. He simply said he was saving room for the feast.

He was able to avoid Dean until they were in the dorm room. He was getting ready for bed and he was the only one in the dorm.

“Hey,” he said slowly.

“Hey,” he replied, not trying to keep the bitterness out of his tone.

“Did you have a good holiday?” his teeth sunk into his bottom lip.

“It was fine,” he muttered, looking away from him.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them, the tension thick in the room. He should just apologise. If he apologised maybe they’d figure something out. Maybe he’d work on trying to come out. Maybe they could tell their roommates. That’s a step forward. Surly they wouldn’t care. And it’d definitely make Dean happy-

“I’m dating Ginny Weasley now.” That got Seamus’s attention.

…

“Wait, you dated my mum?” Albus asked, looking at Dean in surprise.

Dean chuckled at that and Seamus looked annoyed. “Yeah, and you’ll find out what happened if you stop interrupting,” Seamus said annoyed, clearly frustrated with Albus’s constant interrupting.

…

He looked at him across the room. “You said I should date a girl, it’s easier like you said.”

He took a deep breath, trying to hold off his tears. “Hope you’re fuckin’ happy,” he said bitterly.

“We are,” He said it like it was a challenge.

“Good.” Yeah, he was ready to cry but there was no way he’d do it in front of Dean.

…

Hogwarts was different without Dean. He didn’t have someone he could always sit with, usually finding his way next to other Gryffindors with a spare seat. Looks of confusion were definitely given when he was seen without Dean. When asked he’d just mutter something about Dean being with Ginny but it didn’t always work out in classes. No one pushed but people were definitely curious. It was understandable, they’d been inseparable since they were first years. It was always the two of them together, they were almost a package deal. So one without the other somewhere they’d surely be together was strange to their classmates.

Dean didn’t even try to act like he wasn’t trying to make Seamus jealous. He found Dean snogging Ginny in the common room-

…

“You know,” Albus said, “This may sound crazy but I don’t want to hear about my mum snogging anyone.”

…

Seamus had to try and not look a combination of jealous and heartbroken. To anyone else it was an annoying couple but it was like Dean was saying he could snog her in full view of everyone and not him. And all because he was a huge fucking coward who cared too much of what other thought.

When he went upstairs, he saw Ron muttering something under his breath as he did his homework.

“Hey, Weasley,” he muttered going to his bed.

“Hey,” he grunted. “They still snogging?”

“Yep,” he replied bitterly.

“What’re you pissed for, not like Dean’s your brother or anything.”

“I’m not pissed,” he replied defensively. “And shouldn’t you be droolin’ over Granger?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ron defended, then huffed. “And you are pissed. I would assume it had something to with Dean starting to ignore you but you’ve seemed to be avoiding him.”

“Piss off, Weasley.”

…

Ginny came storming into the common room and Dean was awkwardly on her tail. “I said I didn’t push you!” he said.

“I said I don’t care, Dean. I already broke up with you.”

Seamus’s eyes followed them, as did everyone else’s who were in the common room. Everyone was silent but before Dean could get anymore words in Ginny ran up to the girls’ dorms. Dean stood frozen at the foot of the staircase, knowing there was no bother trying to get up there without the steps turning into a slide.

He sighed and when he turned around, his eyes locked with Seamus’s. They hadn’t spoken in months. Too many months for them. He bit his lip and clearly broke under everyone’s eyes being on him, and he went upstairs. Seamus watched him as he walked upstairs to the boys’ dorm. Seamus pressed his lips together, stood up, and followed Dean upstairs.

He opened the door to their room, and cleared his throat. Dean looked over at him and huffed. “Enjoy that, did ya?”

Seamus shuffled on his feet. He took a deep breath and decided it was time to swallow his pride.

“I’m sorry.”

Dean met his eye and cocked his head to the side. “What?”

“I’m sorry for… refusing to come out. For saying you should just… date a girl.”

Dean pressed his lips together. “You should be.” Seamus didn’t argue, he was right. “Look, that thing about be just dating a girl that somehow easier is fucking bullocks. I can’t choose,” he hesitated. “I can’t choose who I fall for, Seamus.”

Seamus nodded, realising he had a completely valid point. “I’m a total fucking wanker,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

Dean smiled and with his wand closed the door. He stepped closer to him, took his face into his hands, and kissed him. Seamus kissed him back gently, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. Right now, even if things weren’t completely fixed at least they were back to this.

…

When Gryffindor won the final Quidditch game for the year Seamus ran to Dean and hugged him as Dean bellowed with laughter. They went back to the common room for the celebratory party and they shared a bottle of butter bear. Everyone was beyond excited over the victory and Harry seemed to be too since he kissed Ginny in front of everyone, being met with wolf whistles and hollers. Dean stared at the two in surprise, not sure what to do in the situation. Seamus saw Ron give Harry a shrug of approval and the new couple grinned in joy.

“That was fast,” Dean muttered.

Seamus looked over at Dean, then back at everyone else who were continuing their celebration. He was thinking of telling Dean how he was one to talk, but he decided to show him instead.

He grabbed him by the collar of his robes, pulled Dean to him, and he kissed him. In front of everyone.

Dean was definitely surprised at first but he kissed him back, smiling into the kiss, clearly happy Seamus was over his fear of what other were thinking of them. There were a couple holler of “I knew it’s” and a couple of playful wolf whistles but no one seemed to care that two boys were kissing in the common room.

“Talk about moving on fast,” Lavender teased when they pulled away, grinning at the two.

…

“It wasn’t always sunshine after that though,” Seamus said. “We were separated during the war because Dean was on the run for being a muggle-born.”

Dean nodded. “It was terrifying; we didn’t know if the other was alive or not.”

…

Seventh year was meant to be a good year, not a year you fended off a war. More so, it wasn’t a year you were meant to go through thinking to person you loved most in the world was dead.

The months went by, the DA tried to defend the school but this wasn’t something people their age should experience. Seamus had marks from the Carrows clear on his face but he didn’t care about that. He cared the boy he loved was in danger. He cared that he didn’t know if Dean was alive or dead. He cared that Dean didn’t know if he was alive or dead. And he was especially pissed off there was nothing he could do to make sure Dean was safe.

But then the day came.

The door leading to connected to Hog’s Head in the Room of Requirement opened and out came the boy Seamus loved most in this world.

He didn’t even have to think, with a roar of delight, he ran to Dean and threw his arms around him, holding him tight, as if he would disappear again if he didn’t. Dean nuzzled into the crook of Seamus neck, both of them lightly sobbing, whimpers of “I missed you” were exchanged. When they pulled away, Dean took Seamus’s face into his hands and kissed him, tasting each other’s salty tears. No one interrupted them, they were either not paying attention or knew that couple needed this moment, need their reunion.

“I love you,” Seamus whimpered out. Words that had been on his tongue since they were separated, finally in the air.

“I love you too,” Dean sobbed out in response.

When they pulled away, Dean held Seamus’s face in his hands. “Oh my god, what happened?” he asked, his eyes widening at the scars on his face.

“I’m fine, don’t worry,” Seamus assured. “Just some battle scars.”

Dean nodded, gently running his fingers over the marks. There was still a battle to fight in.

…

“Can you skip the history lesson and jump to the parent stuff?” Albus asked.

“Oh, not much to say on that,” Seamus shrugged. “Told our parents, they said they had suspicions. That’s it.”

“Really, that’s it?”

“Your family was real supportive of us; I doubt they’d be any different with you.”

Dean gave him a warm smile. “Really, if you take anything from this, it’s that we were way happier when we weren’t keeping it a secret.”

Albus bit his lip and nodded. He definitely got their story, that he was essentially Seamus in this situation.

He needed to talk to Scorpius.

“Albus!” a voice called and he saw his Aunt Hermione walking to the group. “Your dad’s looking for you, almost time to go.”

“Oh, okay,” he said and hastily stood up.

“Hey, Granger,” Seamus grinned at her.

Aunt Hermione smiled at the two. “Oh hey you two. Was meaning to say hi, keeping Albus busy huh? Better than sitting in the corner.”

“Yeah, just told him some school stories,” Dean smiled.

“You got a lot, I’m sure,” Aunt Hermione laughed.

Albus left the three to catch up and went to find his parents. James waved him over to them and he walked over, his hands in his pockets.

“Where were you?” James asked.

Albus shrugged. “Talking to some of dad’s old classmates,” he shrugged.

“Who?”

“I don’t know what their last names are, but Dean and Seamus.”

“Oh, you met Dean and Seamus?” his mum smiled.

He nodded. “Yeah, they’re nice. Seem happy together.”

His mum nodded. “Yeah, they were best friends for years before ending up together.”

“Does he mean Mr and Mr Thomas-Finnigan?” James asked.

“Yeah, the couple we ran into at the world cup last year.”

“Why were you talking to them?” Lily asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Professor Longbottom told me to,” he said. “Said they’re fun and have good stories.” It was half the truth so he decided to run with it.

His dad was finishing his goodbyes with the members of the DA. He and Uncle Ron had joined Hermione with talking to Dean and Seamus. The four were smiling, conversing like the old classmates they were.

“Mum, can I Apparate home this time?” James asked.

“No, James.”

“Ugh, but why not?”

“Albus, have you said bye to Dean and Seamus?” his mum asked, ignoring James.

“No, didn’t get a chance,” He replied.

“Well, go be polite and give them a proper farewell.”

He nodded and made his way over to the two. His Aunt and Uncle had left with their children but his dad was still there.

“Uh, it was nice meeting you properly,” Albus said to the couple.

They smiled at him. “You too, Albus,” Dean said.

“What’d you even tell him about, anyway?” his dad asked.

“Just school stories,” Seamus said.

“Far less interesting than the stories you have to tell him, I’m sure,” Dean said.

His dad smiled. “Nah, I’m sure you two have plenty of stories I missed.”

The couple simply smiled in response to the comment. “Well, we got to get home anyway, it’s pretty late.”

“It was great seeing you two again,” his dad said.

“You too,” Dean said.

“Good luck at Hogwarts, Albus,” Seamus said giving him a quick wink. Albus smiled, knowing exactly what he meant by that.

And the two Apparated out of the room with a loud crack.

“Those two seriously haven’t changed,” his dad said.

“That’s good to know.”

…

Albus had debated in his mind what to do first; whether he should tell his parents he was gay or try to make up with Scorpius.

He’d settled on telling his parents first. Even if Scorpius didn’t take him back he still couldn’t hide his sexuality from his parents. So as he was walking up the stairs to go to bed one night, he’d called down that he was gay. Instantly, he was met with acceptance and especially hugs from everyone. Dean and Seamus definitely weren’t wrong and he realised this was the easy part.

He started by sending Scorpius an owl, stating he’d told his parents that he was gay, so he could only hope Scorpius decided to read it. He was expecting an owl to be sent back or to be ignored but instead he got something that was completely unexpected.

Scorpius Apparated right into his room.

He couldn’t get any words out because Scorpius’s lips were on his, kissing him over and over and over, apologising for being horrible to Albus in between each kiss.

He told Albus that during their time apart he told his dad he was gay and, being the loving father he was, he accepted him immediately. Of course they did eventually tell their families they were more than friends and that was accepted fast too. When the news got around Hogwarts everyone seemed the farthest from surprised.

At the end of Herbology one day, Albus decided to ask Professor Longbottom something that had been on his mind for too long.

“Excuse me, Professor?” he asked as everyone had cleared out.

“Yes Albus?” Professor Longbottom ask, his cheeks extra plump.

“Did you know about me and Scorpius? Is that why you told me to talk to Dean and Seamus?” Professor Longbottom smiled and nodded. “How’d you know?”

“Albus, I roomed with Dean and Seamus for six years, I know what it looks like when two best friends fall in love.”

#mine #scorbus #deamus

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coffeecupandteatime · 7 years

Text

Jagerbomb’s Mini Review #3!

Welcome to the glory of watching Jagerbomb lose his shit!

ʕಠᴥಠʔ Sorry for the wait everyone, I’ve been pretty busy. Also, if you guys know of any bad short fanfics, let me know! I’ll try to review those as well!

-rubs temples- This is going to sooooo enjoyable!

Note: I’ll do the first chapters for these types of reviews, mainly to save time and my sanity. Also, because finding the stories again is a pain in the ass.

Harriet Potter leaves the Wizarding world behind, starting a new life in the Elemental Nations. Seeing how neglected little Naruto is, she takes him in and helps him out. UzumakiHarry! FemHarry! Slight Weasley/Hermione bashing! Possible parings with Itachi, Iruka, Genma, & Kakashi.

Female Harry?… Ooooooookay then! ʕ.ᴥ.ʔ I can already tell I’m going to enjoy this.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not Harry Potter, not Naruto, not anything else I might mention.

ʕಠᴥಠʔ Well, we can kinda tell you don’t own either, or else they would be shitfests.

Note: I have no Beta and edit everything myself, so if I made a mistake somewhere kindly point it out. I usually write on my phone and edit at 2am so I tend to miss things.

Hmm, well since you told us this beforehand, I can be a littler nicer. ʕ0ᴥ0ʔ But mark my words, that doesn’t mean much with me.

Leaving the Wizarding World

And diving straight into the trashcan.

Harriet screamed and woke up a sweaty mess, the dreams were getting worse.

Like my need to drink right now.

Eerie morning light filtered through the ratty curtains and she flopped back onto the mattress in irritation. It was much earlier than she had intended to wake up but she was unable to fall asleep again, nightmares would do that to a person.

Wanna get some sleep, kid? Try chugging a bottle of Smirnoff, you’ll go right the fuck to sleep, trust the bear. ʕಠᴥ~ʔ

She sluggishly walked to the bathroom, shuddering at the coldness of the house, before turning on the tap and splashing her face with water.

Is the water hot? Warm? Cold? Why the hell is she splashing water on her face in a cold house?? ANSWER ME! ʕಠ益ಠʔ

Checking herself out in the mirror, she felt a surge of triumph that she had finally taken corrective measures for her eyes. She no longer had to wear those hideous ill-fitting glasses that she grew up with, without them her emerald eyes shone brightly.

ʕ°ᴥ°ʔ Even though those round ass glasses are pretty important to Harry as a character. You suuuuure this is just a genderbend and NOT an OC?

Her aunt had always taken vindictive pleasure in making her look ugly. Harriet supposed she was taking on all the animosity her Aunt felt toward Lily. Harriet was starved for years, making sure she never measured up to her voluptuous perfect ten of a mother.

I don’t know there, Lily wasn’t exactly a ten… Or voluptuous...

Aunt Petunia also forced Harriet to keep her red tresses cropped short. The more it stuck up like an untidy boy's hair, the happier that vile woman had been. Due to her

Okay, why is her hair red instead of black? I get it’s female Harry, but with red hair it sounds more like his made up sister then Harry himself...

horrendous nest of hair and those vile glasses, her looks were often compared to James' instead of Lily's, even if she had her mother's coloring. Before leaving Hogwarts for the summer, Harriet would chop off her hair till it was as short as the beginning of the year. She had no choice, if the Dursley's had known she let her hair grow during the school year they would have beaten her savagely.

Whoa whoa whoa! Whoa! When the hell did the Dursley’s even fucking beat Harry? What the hell with people making the Dursley’s beat Harry and the village attack Naruto?! What the fuck people! ʕ╯ಠ益ಠʔ╯︵ ┻━┻

She learned to choose her battles carefully once she realized no one would be coming to save her.

-Deep breath slow exhale-.....I’m going to assume this author hates Ron and Hermione.

Harriet raised herself, she could live just fine on her own. She knew how to ration food and mange hunger, how to find a quick hiding place, how to keep secrets, and when to run away.

.,. You spelt manage wrong there buddy.

She learned early on to fear adults

Something no child should learn. Fuck oooooooff.

and had come to expect it, but it wasn't until she met Albus Dumbledore that she was exposed to ruthless manipulations.

Okay, been awhile since I read or watched HP, but why the hell is Albus always a manipulative CUCKOLD in these stories!? WHAT THE HELL!?!

Harriet shook off the feelings that came with letting herself dwell on the dead wizard, and shivered as she got dressed for the day. Today was important. Today she was finally going to do something about the gradual feelings she had been having. Ever since she had destroyed the horcrux in her scar, she no longer felt like she belonged in this world and it was an extremely troubling feeling.

This author has successfully said “Fuck canon!” \ʕ◕0◕ʔ/ WOO!

For the last five years, following the end of the wizarding war, Harriet Potter had been having dreams about the Veil of Death in the Department of Mysteries.

Didn’t you call them nightmares before? Also she’s been like this for FIVE YEARS and is just NOW doing something about it? Alright, pouring a drink.

Make Jager drink +1!

She could still remember the whispers that had called out to her the day Sirius had fallen through, they haunted her dreams. She would often wake up in the middle of the night in tears, her soul filled with a desperate longing to see the other side.

The other side of the Veil or of the bottle when it’s empty?

She knew it was some sort of gateway, the dreams told her that much.

Listen to your dreams kid! Even if they lead to certain death! \ʕ◕0◕ʔ/

The whispers in her dreams became clearer recently and talked about other worlds, new life, and a fresh start. Five years of the same dream and she'd finally given in, the voices had lured her in, and she was going through the veil to find peace.

I hope peace is where poorly genderbent *coughs*OCS*coughs* characters go when their unwanted.

She bitterly recalled the night she finally decided to finally act, it had been a couple months ago on her twenty-second birthday. Hermione, Ron, and Ginny had been visiting her for her birthday. Hermione, as usual, had been lecturing her about her lack of public appearances and was subtly trying to steer her towards going on a date with Percy Weasely, who was still a pompous ponce, when Ron apparently had enough.

Yep! Harry’s already genderbent, let’s throw in some OOCness for the others!

OOC Syndrome is wherever I go. ʕ;-;ʔ

"Look mate, it's not like you've much of a choice anyway. Dumbledore signed a marriage contract-

What in the ever living fuck in the bowels of hel-

Make Jager drink +1!

That’s 2! TWO!

-between you two while he was your magical guardian, so I reckon it's still binding. Percy's been waiting patiently for you, giving you time while he concentrated on his career. He'd hoped that by now you'd grow up a little and at least let him take you out." said Ron coldly.

Why do people INSIST on making Ron the biggest asshole alive?

Absolutely shocked over what she just heard-

You’re not the only one, hun. ʕಠᴥಠʔ

, it took Harriet a moment to compose herself while turning toward Ginny. "Is he serious? Your parents and Dumbledore secretly signed this marriage contract?"

Something's telling me it wasn’t a secret. Also what’s the reason for said marriage…?

"Not secretly," Ginny rolled her eyes. "Everyone knew about it. I thought you did too, why else did you never date anybody? Why do you think Order members always look at Percy and ask his opinion on matters concerning you? We never thought Dumbledore wouldn't tell you."

How the hell did she not hear about this? AUTHOR EXPLAIN!

"Right. Not a secret, but somehow I never got wind of it. It never came up...in the past twelve years?" Harriet said evenly, but the books on the shelves were beginning to shake.

TWELVE YEARS!? Was ‘Harriet’ living under a goddamn ROCK!?

They all looked slightly alarmed at that, and Hermione made the mistake of meeting her eyes. Harriet had become a fairly accomplished legilimens.

ʕ◕0◕ʔ The fuck is that?

After her crap occlumency skills had gotten Sirius killed, she tried to hone the skill but was only mediocre at it.

For once the main character isn’t good at something that killed a relative.

Legilimency was where she shone, she was a natural at it and it was easy to become even greater than Snape. So when Hermione looked at her in alarm, Harriet saw everything.

Sooooo Legilimency is basically “LOOK INTO MY EYES CHILD AND TELL ME EVERYTHING!”? The hell is this, an anime?

She saw conniving whispers and conspiracy in the depths of her eyes. She had enough, Merlin's sake, Hermione knew, and she wasn't even a Weasley. They hadn't bothered to warn her, they were no friends of hers.

I get it’s magic, but how can you see all that with a simple glance in the eyes? ʕ-,-ʔ I’m calling laziness of Rowling's part.

Her green eyes hardened. "I'll speak to a Goblin about this situation, but you should know that a marriage is not happening. I'll see Percy dead before I risk my magic, and if I find anyone tampering with my future, I will end them. Now get out."

Again, this ‘Harriet’ shouts more ‘OC’ than ‘Genderbend”.

The lying trio eyed each other anxiously, they had seen glimpses of Harriet's ruthlessness during the war, but it was frightening to have it focused on them. Her usual friendly attitude had been replaced by an icy focus. Ginny warily nodded at Harriet and headed for the front door, Ron trailing after her, but Hermione hesitated. She reached toward the green eyed girl, but Harriet flinched away. Hermione sighed and said, "Harriet, don't make a mistake. You're practically a Weasley already, this would only make it legal. Besides, Percy is very responsible. You could use somebody like that, I can't always be there to-"

Annnnnnnd here’s the OOCness for Hermione.

Harriet wanted to rant at her when all at once, her anger left her, leaving her nothing but cold amusement.

So is this Harry or ‘Harriet’ or just pure OOCness?

Hermione didn't know it but she had just give Harriet the sign she had been waiting for. She had been iffy on acting upon her dreams, but this was the final straw.

If you need more straws, I got some left over from a wicked party last-Oh, wrong kinda straw. ʕ.,.ʔ Whoops.

"Always be there?" she answered mockingly. "You and Ron ditched me often enough. Luna was the one who was always there, till the very end. You and Ron abandoned me when I was hunting for horcruxes. I was alone, injured, wandless and-"

Yes, my child, let it all out.

Hermione puffed up like a toad,

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! THAT LEGITIMATELY MADE ME LAUGH!

reminding her of Umbridge for one hilarious moment, before letting out an aggravated huff. "I thought you were over that!"

.,. How the hell is ANYONE gonna forget shit like that?

Make Jager drink +2

THAT’S FOUR! FOUR!!

In a soft, cold voice she whispered, "I will never 'get over that'. You were never there when it counted. You and Ron would take the first couple of steps with me, but always gave up when things got complicated. Hell, the only reason you two and Ginny stuck around for the Department of Mysteries fiasco was because you didn't want to get shown up by Luna and Neville."

I love Luna and Neville, <3

Hermione scowled, but didn't disagree. "You know," she said haughtily, "I don't know what's happened to you. If you don't get your act together and stop being so moody, you won't have any friends left."

Letting out a bitter laugh, the dark-haired

But earlier you said her hair was red….CONSISTANCY AUTHOR! LEARN IT!

girl stared at Hermione with grim finality and a touch of sadness. "My true friends died during the Final Battle, fighting for what they believed in. You're just a cheap replacement."

All my friends are deeead! All my friends a dead!

Was that too soon? ʕ° ͟ل͜ ͡°ʔ

Finally done reminiscing, Harriet pulled her hair up in a high bun. Today she was leaving. She felt a tingle of excitement as she quickly dressed herself in inconspicuous clothes. She had planned and prepared for this, but knew that chance played a role in all her adventures. The odds were against her, but she had won against them before.

She was a independent black woman now.

Harriet had prepared nearly everything well in advance. She gazed speculatively at the vial of Felix Felicis that had been 'bought' from Draco Malfoy.

Don’t be a sex thing, don’t be stealing, don’t be some cheap friendship crap.

He had earned his potions mastery after the war and became a friend.

FUCK! ʕಠ益ಠʔ

Draco had given her the liquid luck in exchange for Grimmauld Place, who he was going to gift to his mother. Draco and Daphne were about to become the richest family in Britain, she was leaving all her wealth to them as a surprise for being the only people she had left.

…..What. In. The. FUCK!?

Make Jager drink +10!

FOURTEEN MOTHERFUCKER! FOURTEEN!

With a sense of awe, she opened the vial and drained the golden potion to the last drop, smiling triumphantly as she felt the magic flow through her.

So liquid luck. Is that like a drug or some kinda Irish brew? Cos I’ll take some!

The witch entered the atrium of the Ministry, making herself invisible with her handy dandy cloak.

“I got my handy dandy notebook!” Harriet said as a blue dog appears.

Harriet thought she would at least feel nostalgic as she looked about this world for the last time, but she felt nothing but desperation to get away. She detested her place in the wizarding community, where she was alternately hated and glorified on the whims of the sheeple.

Hated? Glorified I could understand, but hated? What did Harry/Whoever the fuck this is, do to deserve that.

When she approached the Veil that had swallowed up her godfather, she didn't feel the same heartbreak she had experienced in its presence before.

FEELINGS ARE FOR THE WEAK!

Instead she eyed the archway speculatively. What world was she going to go to?

The reader’s already know that answer, they had to rifle through fanfictions to find this thing. ʕಠᴥಠʔ

Did Sirius go to the same one? Did time run differently there, was she going to be able to see him? The possibilities were limitless. Or maybe she would die like everyone else thought happened? However, Harriet had always trusted her instincts, so she took a deep breath, and stepped through the Veil.

Lesson of the story kids: ALWAYS trust your instincts when they tell you to jump into a weird ass portal! FOR ADVENTURE!

Up next: Harry meets Death and an old friend!

Welp we’ll never know since I ain’t revisiting.

Question: What should Harry's name in Naruto be? When you review, drop a name and tell me why! I'm partial to Hikari (light) and Misaki (beautiful blossom)

ʕ.,.ʔ Wot.

Conclusion!

3.5/10 for trying.

Anyways! That was… Fuck, can’t remember the title, I made this file a long time ago, Uh. I should really start writing down the stories I review… Anyways, it wasn’t bad nor good, it was okay. I don’t see the reasoning for making Harry female and OOC, or the rest of the characters OOC, other than to have a reason for ‘her’ to go to the Naruto World.

#harry potter #Naruto #Jagerbomb fun time #mini review #sporking #I need a drink

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caredogstips · 7 years

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6 Iconic Works Of Art With Brutal Insults Hidden In Them

We all take our inessential little revenges where we can. If someone cuts you off in commerce, you give them the thumb. If one of your co-workers ingest your lunch, you pee in the coffee maker. If someone talks at the movies, you follow them residence, dress like a comedian, and shriek “their childrens” awake each night for the rest of “peoples lives”. But not everyone stops events so reasonable. Here are masters who held onto enmities so long and so hard that their petty avenge became commemorated in their work.

# 6. Harry Potter Is Full Of J.K. Rowling’s Secret Insults

We’re at a culture time where anyone who needs Harry Potter explained to them is clearly a robot trying to gain sentience. So we’re hop-skip the purpose of explaining who Harry Potter is. Better luck next time, robot. For the rest of you, it turns out that J.K. Rowling realise it a habit to turn real beings from her life into attributes in her works, and for shifting those personas into avenge. For instance, when Stephen Fry was hired to narrate the first audio journal, he was told that a sequel was already in the works. Fry commended this Rowling person whom he’d only met with, “Good for you.” She took it as an offend and never forgot it. It got petty.

When registering the book, Fry had fus adding the words “pocketed it.” Through a bizarre lecture hindrance, it always came out as “pocketeded it.” So he called her up and would like to know whether he could change it. Rowling afforded a hard no. And then, through sheer coincidence , the phrase “pocketed it, ” appeared in the next four Harry Potter notebooks. That’s how ridiculous “womens issues” was willing to get for the tiniest quantity of revenge.

Which introduces us to the character of Gilderoy Lockhart, the blowhard educator from Chamber Of Secrets . He was based on a humanity Rowling knew and reviled, who was constantly bragging about acts that almost certainly never happened. So she made him a persona in her work who virtually facilitates Magic Hitler rise to power and get his psyche mopped. Then, after publicly announcing that this shithead was based on a real guy, Rowling responded, “Don’t annoy … he will never in a million years dream that he is Gilderoy Lockhart.” So everyone who has ever gratified J.K. Rowling, take note: There’s a decent hazard she thinks you’re a stupid asshole.

Based on a real stupid asshole .

Another character, Harry’s vile Aunt Marge, was based on one of Rowling’s family members who “liked dogs more than people.” But there’s one character who rises above all others in the annals of hated Harry Potter Characters. The one character whom every fan agrees is the most evil and disliked. No , not Voldemort. Not Lockhart. Not even the sniveling Wormtail.

It’s Dolores Umbridge. Her identify literally signifies “annoyance and offense.”

You goddamn bitch .

If you watched the movies, you might recollect Umbridge as the short one dressed in all-pink who realise Harry write with a pencil that carves characters into his tissue. Seemed a little bit much, right? Well, she was based on a educator Rowling knew whom she described as someone she “disliked deeply on sight.” The impression was mutual, and Rowling described her style as being “appropriate to a girl of three.”

Imagine you’re a coach trying the very best to fertilize young judgments. One of your students( though not your favourite) has already become the most successful writer since God. Excited, you open one of her volumes and find someone who’s clearly you, written as a dimwitted maid of immoralities garmented for a children’s tea party. Oh well, you predict she never forgave you for those imprisonments …

“That was just the once, you crybaby.”

… and then later in the book, your reputation is dragged into the woods by centaurs — a scene which we’re almost certain implies that they then raped her.( That centaurs abuse human girls is an essential part of the lore around them. For speciman, the centaur Nessus was killed while trying to rape a human lady .) Yeah, that’s how freaking nighttime this gets. J.K. Rowling didn’t get along with one of her coaches, so she had the teach get( apparently) sexually contravened by horse-men in a children’s volume. Then she announces to the world that this sorceres get bayoneted in every flaw by centaur rooster is based on a real party. “Not to * wink !* name any refers, but it was one of my teachers, and here’s job descriptions! “

“Does she have teenagers? They just watched Stand-In Mommy lose all hope and glory. Oh glee! ”

So if you ever had an proof with J.K. Rowling, give the books another speak. There’s a good chance a goblin based on you has been torn apart by unicorns for the amusement of children.

# 5. Muslim Street Artists Bash Homeland … On Homeland

Homeland is a testify with so many absurd constructions that it’s more of a practical joke on the observer than a floor. But that’s not why it’s contentious. It’s about CIA agents contending Islamic terrorism, and it’s been called everything from insulting and humiliating to borderline racist. Basically, the appearance treats controversial issues the same way Donald Trump might list his favorite Mexicans — it’s not quite “bigoted, ” but it’s definitely uncomfortable.

So some of Homeland ‘s detractors decided to speak out against the reveal from inside the show itself. One occurrence took place in a Syrian refugee camp. Because the writers are all lily-white Americans with little-to-no Syrian refugee camp suffer, they decided to let some individuals who knew Arabic embellish the laid with graffiti. You possibly discover where this is going. They wrote smart-ass words everywhere.

This suggests ” Homeland is watermelon, ” which is meaner than it resonates in Arabic .

The three masters hired were Don Karl, Heba Amin, and Caram Kapp, and they felt that the establish reached Arabs and Muslims feel disliked and helped shape negative minds. So they said so, in Arabic, right in front of the producers’ non-Arabic-speaking faces.

“This show does not represent the view of the artists.”

The entire place seems a bit obvious in hindsight. Homeland is no other indicate on Tv that hires Middle-Eastern performers, and most of them either play-act suicide bombers or regular grinders. So when the same evidence hires Middle-Eastern set designers and tells them to make it super Arab-y , no one should be surprised if they respond by trolling you.

Actual translation: ” Homeland is racist.” Oh, and “NO MICKEY MOUSE.”

# 4. The God-We-Wish-It-Were-True Story Of “The Cask Of Amontillado”

“The Cask Of Amontillado” is one of Edgar Allan Poe’s most well known toils. It’s about a being who gets retaliate on a acquaintance by pulling him underground with wine and then entombing him alive. He leaves “the mens” chained to a wall to die, mocking the man’s shriekings for blessing. A few vague details are given, but it’s never become clear to the reader what injustice invigorated the assassination. Even for Poe, it was a bit dark.

“Once you’re dead, I’m giving your body the teabagging of Amontillado.”

And it all started because another novelist was sort of a douche.

Like all scribes, Edgar Allan Poe had a wonderful sexuality life, great “hairs-breadth”, all the money in “the worlds”, and countless antagonists. One of them was a scribe mentioned Thomas Dunn English. The two detested one another, and Thomas wrote a parody of Poe into one of his tales: a reference appointed Marmaduke Hammerhead who writes a legend called “The Black Crow, ” acts crazy, and is drunk all the time.

Poe didn’t think it was cute. He registered a suit against the working paper English worked for, and acquired. Still unsatisfied, Poe decided to placed him into a narrative. And in that legend, he garmented “the mens” like a jester, walled him up in a dungeon, and tell madness and famine race to destroy him. In … in fiction! Exclusively in fiction.

This was his response to being announced crazy .

As you might have approximated, the poorest of the poor drink dumb “whos got” lay alive in “The Cask Of Amontillado” was based on English. So if you had to read the tale in high school and none of you could figure out what the hell the guy did to deserve such a dark fate , now you know. He gently taunted Edgar Allan Poe. When Poe kills you in a legend, he dresses you like a buffoon and lets you whimper for their own lives alone in the blackness. As opposed to doing you in with the whimsy of a centaur penis.

# 3. Willow Swerved Multiple Movie Critics Into Villains

Though you put your heart and soul into a work of art, there will always be a critic there to tell you it sucks. It happens no matter how great your artistry happens to be, but it happens a lot if your prowes — like Willow — kind of sucks.

Maybe in a preemptive strike against their inevitable offenses, or maybe as revenge for past commentaries, George Lucas mentioned two of the villains in Willow after film reviewers. The first was General Kael, a skull-headed warlord reputation after Pauline Kael, who had called Star Wars an tired circus with no psychological clutch. Well fuck you, Pauline, you’re an evil skeleton now. In Willow .

“You look hopelessly cool and impossibly badass. Aren’t you ashamed? ”

And this wasn’t the only period this happened to Kael. The same year Willow “re coming out”, an analog of her also appeared in the Dirty Harry movie The Dead Pool . Apparently, the filmmakers still hadn’t forgiven her for calling Dirty Harry “fascist, pro-violence, pro-gun, republican nuttery scrap.” So they based a reputation on her, and then had that character get brutally jabbed to demise. That’ll picture her who’s pro-violence!

“I know what you’re deliberation: six gaping spurting curves, or only five? ”

You might believe that George Lucas was outdone, since his insult was simply appointing some guy “Kael, ” while Dirty Harry exited all-out and killer her. Perhaps you’re right. But wait until you hear about the other reviewers who took a smack in Willow . This one is brutal .

At the end of Willow , a two-headed fire-breathing dragon shows. George knew the dragon could be more than a fantastic culminating to history’s greatest film — it was his chance to get revenge for every mean happen Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert had ever said about his movies. Those guys would rue the day they traversed the artistic juggernaut of George Lucas!

He identified the dragon Eborsisk.

“We grant it two deformed-looking whale dicks up.”

Oh, shit! Can you envisage what Siskel and Ebert must have visualized when they received information that !? With one reputation( which is never even pronounce aloud ), Lucas killed them both and plummeted the mic. Eborsisk! That’s like both their reputations in one! It was the snap discover of all the countries … Eborsisk. The instant some supplementary information revealed that the dragon’s reputation was Eborsisk, “the worlds” knew never to doubt George Lucas’ filmmaking abilities again.

# 2. The Symbolic Middle Finger In The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn

The writer Sir Walter Scott isn’t exactly a household name, but there’s a respectable opportunity you’re familiar with some of his effort, like Ivanhoe and Rob Roy . Regrettably for him, the most famous journal in which his name sounds is The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn . And that’s because Mark Twain goddamn detested Walter Scott.

Even more than he hates you for misrepresenting him on Facebook .

Twain thought that Scott’s writing romanticized battle, and was worried that young men were reading about the magnificences of engagement and ranging off to combat. He felt that Scott’s novels were to blame for much of the “windy humbuggeries” of the South, which gave rise to concepts like duels or even the Civil War itself. He felt that Scott’s novels continued the delusion that Southerners were noble heroes and gentlemen, despite their participation in brutal frontier justice and the owning of other humans. So Twain are determined to immortalize his antagonism of Sir Walter Scott in art.

If you don’t recall the patch of Huck Finn , it’s about a runaway boy and an escaped slave traveling down the Mississippi River, and the language hasn’t aged well. What you may have never observed was an aesthetic offend to Scott encoded into their passage. In the tale, Twain named a steamboat after the object of his condescension; the Walter Scott is carried away by a strong present and wrecked against some rocks.

“The regained wood was then turned into an outhouse which was consistently full of shit.”

It was meant to symbolize the path the Old South rode along on Scott’s strong back toward an out-of-control catastrophe( the Civil War ). It’s a little bit more subtle than embed someone alive or probing them with a centaur, but it translates to the same act: “Fuck you, Sir Walter Scott.”

# 1. DC And Marvel Piss On Their Movie

In its very first trailer, Man Of Steel boasted a quote from Grant Morrison’s All-Star Superman . This was strange chiefly because All-Star Superman is considered one of the greatest Superman floors ever told, and Man Of Steel was a 150 -minute tantrum hurled by stupid room juveniles. Besides having a laser-eyed alien as the prime reference, they could not be more different. In Man Of Steel , Superman clicks cervixes and watches fathers succumb. In All-Star Superman , he is infallible and benevolent. He’s nearly drew as God.

It’s not even that subtle about it .

Morrison shovels the idea of Superman being a perfect compounding of every human ideal. So he was understandably ticked off that the matter is “gritty” movie in which Superman is a petty thug exploited a quotation from his duty. But since he wrote Action Comics , Superman’s flagship title, it was likely wasn’t appropriate for him to come out and publicly talk shit about the movie. Instead, he carefully knit all that shit-talking into a Superman story.

In a long, mind-bending narration that obligates Memento look like Blue’s Clues , Morrison acquainted a soul called Super-Doomsday.

We’re sure that swastika-looking “S” was purely coincidental .

It’s created by scientists attempting to make a pure and inspirational person, but in their hopelessnes, they sold him off to “owners corporations” which moved him into “a violent, disturbed, faceless anti-hero … a global marketing icon .“

Sound familiar?

“Oh, I get it. You’re like a metapho-AARRRGH! LASER BEAMS !!! ”

Superman eventually uncovers him and uncover a distorted half-Superman/ half-Doomsday — which is eerily same to the form of Doomsday’s origin in the upcoming Batman v. Superman .

“Ugh. Doomsday is some Kryptonian DNA with demon shit attached? What deplorable monster would green-light that project !? ”

Morrison got extremely heavy-handed as he wrote. The commercialized Superman is powered by “a simple corporate directive: kill the competition.” And if that wasn’t obvious enough, the large-scale bad behind Super-Doomsday( an imp from the fifth facet) find right out and explains it TAGEND Able to pinch limitless account in a single body …

“There’s blood on your princely pinnacle. A stain that can never come out. The mark of betrayal and exploitation … Your “S” a dollar sign! ” It almost sounds like he’s referencing a very concrete occurrence. Hmm … wonder what it could be?

“Hkk! This … testifies a fundamental misinterpret … hkk! … of 80 years of reference developing! ”

While on the subject of literary superhero retaliation, Marvel had a similar rebuttal to a bad movie in the sheets of Fantastic Four . In one issue, groupings of people birthing a strong resemblance to the stars of the appalling, frightful Fantastic Four reboot be standing talking about a movie that they worked on with a director referred “Trang.” “Its probably” a including references to FF chairman Josh Trank, but it’s so deeply unclever that it virtually seems impossible.

Turning that “4” on his shirt into four middle fingers would’ve been wittier . And then this happens TAGEND

“We had to level the whole metropoli in case they wanted to threw a reboot.”

That’s it — over the course of three boards, Marvel wordlessly explosion them. It’s the kind of hamfisted theme that makes you long for the intricacy of a fifth-dimensional pixie appearing to explain the laugh. Or, of course, the sophisticated nuance of J.K. Rowling’s unwanted centaur cocks.

Always be category, because you never know when you’ll end up a laugh in someone else’s innovation. Witness more of that in 6 Brilliant Insults Hidden In Video Games As Easter Eggs and 6 Famous Works Of Art You Didn’t Know Were Vicious Insults .