in retrospect i knew deathly hallows was not going to be the book i wanted it to be when remus lupin, 37 year-old man and beloved friend of james potter, begs to abandon his pregnant wife and soon-arriving newborn to have fun cool adventures with his friend's kid in the woods

You tuned into a cat?! Reaction of Om brothers + undatables

Original art post is here please check it out!

Scenario: Satan as always is trying to play a prank on Lucifer, he and belphie bribed beel to bake a magical potion into a dessert. While they were off discussing how to trick Lucifer into eating it, you walz into the room and notice Beel baking, and a beautiful piece of dessert sitting on the table, you couldn't help but take a bite. It was delicious but you immediately started feeling weird, is the ceiling getting taller? huh that's weird, maybe you're fainting and falling to the ground. Just then Satan enters the room and his expression is as if he seen a ghost, you finally take a look at your... paws? It doesn't take you long to connect the dots in your head, and looking at Satan who is still shocked, "um? can you stop staring for a sec and help me?" Gn reader SFW

Lucifer

Usually his brother shenanigans gave him a headache but this one he doesn't mind (He won't admit he likes it)

Your white fur shedding will really stand out on his dark outfit, but he doesn't mind letting the other brothers see how much time you spend with him and on him.

Will definitely have you sit on his lap while he does his never ending paperwork, will also reach down and pet you every now and then, feeling a surge of pride when u accidentally purr.

"You can lay on my lap anytime, I feel less stressed with you here."

Mammon

Will pick you up and spin you around when he first sees you, "My little human is now a little cat! You are so fluffy!" as he buries his face in you fur.

Doesn't let anyone else hold or pet you, you are only his to touch

Will buy a cat backpack with the viewing window and take you on rides, to parties, casinos, and where ever he goes

"Isn't it fun always being with the great mammon! you should do this when you turn back too!"

Leviathan

Isn't fazed at all when he first heard of the situation, this is just like one of his anime with the super long name. Doesn't touch or pick you up until you give a million reassurances, gets extremely flustered when he finally did.

Since you have no hands you cannot play games, but no problem! This calls for a anime marathon.

Will also try to hog you for himself in his room,why would you want to spend time with his idiot brothers when you can watch anime with him!

"Hey how long are you going to stay in that form? Whatever it is I hope it's longer than that!" (immediately feels bad for saying that)

Satan

He can hardly contain his excitement, not to mention Lucifer can't kick you out like the rest of the cats he's had.

Definitely the most knowledgeable when it comes to cats, will educate you on everything you need and don't need to know about cats.

Will splurge and buy all the cat trees, toys, treats and whatnot.

Will also let you sit on his lap while he reads and his hand never stops petting you unless to turn a page in his book.

" Did you know cats sleep 12-16 hours a day? Well you can spend all those hours on my lap little kitten <3."

Asmodeus

Literally shirked when he saw you, you were SO CUTE! Almost as cute as him! Immediately tries to hold, snuggle, and kiss you earning a scowl from Mammon.

Will pamper you, brush your hair, dye it, paint your nails, and make you the prettiest cat devildom has ever seen.

Will take soooooo many pictures of you to upload onto devilgram, will also try to take you and make you and him the center of every party.

"I'm going to make you the prettiest cat in all three realms! Now what color hair and nails are we going to do today?"

Beelzebub

Everyone had to stop him from eating you several times, but after he finally ate something and not see you as food it was actually pretty fun!

He will take you with him to the gym and let you sit on his back and chest while he does push ups, sit ups and whatnot.

Will also let you sit on his shoulder while he goes about his day, with him being so big and tall he doesn't even notice your weight, and the view from that high up is amazing.

Also tries to feed you all kinds of food, Until Satan gave him a harsh lecture on what cats can and can't eat.

"Would you like some of this cake? Oh wait Satan said cats can't have dairy :("

Belphagor

Belphie knows that cats sleep 12-16 hours so when he heard you turned into a cat he was actually a little happy.

Now you can nap as much as he does so he can cling onto you at all times. You were his and now you can be with him all the time.

Was excited to snuggle your cat form and was not disappointed, you were the softest, warmest, fluffiest pillow, scratch that you are better than any pillow in any realm.

When you purred while snuggled up to him, it definitely stroked his ego, that you loved it and him this much to be purring in your sleep! Now he can only wish that you were dreaming of him as well.

"You look sleepy, come under the covers you've been up for over two hours now! I warmed the blankets up for you."

Diavolo

Though he should be feeling bad that this happened to his exchanged student, he can't help feeling extremely amused by the situation.

Will let you run around the castle and jump onto tall areas, even if you accidentally break something he will just laugh it off and tell you he will cover it.

Will carry you around with him under the guise of protecting you. Also persistent on being the one holding you to barbatos.

"My apologies for the behaviors of the brothers, but this is a really fun situation no?"

Barbatos

This type of situation isn't uncommon in devildom, but this time it involves you which has his interest peaked.

Will still have tea parties with you, but instead coming up with a recipe for catnip tea so you can enjoy tea with everyone else. coming up with new tea recipes for cats has been extremely enjoyable for him.

Will offer to clean up your litter box which made you flush and through stutters you tell him you don't use one and just go to the bathroom as usual. Also cleans up after your cat impulse messes.

"Was that tea to your liking? I added something different and special this time ;)"

Simeon

Hearing your situation definitely strikes a idea in him for a book series or mini series.

you can sit behind his laptop feeling the warmth as he types away, occasionally petting you on the head.

Brings him so much joy when you purr and rub against his leg and his hand. Will constantly try to pet you at all times, which of course you don't mind, he is very gentle and sweet.

"Though I'm the angle here you definitely look and feel like one, would you like some more pets?"

Luke

Like Asmo squeals with delight when he sees you as this cute tiny fluffy creature. He's finally not the smallest person anymore!

Will also carry you in his backpack everywhere, to the amusement park, attempts to sneak you into school, and wants you to sleep over with him every night.

After begrudgingly consulting Satan on what cats can and can't eat, Luke tries bake you all kinds of cat friendly desserts and snacks. How sweet!

"Try this! What do you think? Also stay over tonight too, you can't trust those demons especially now you're so small."

Solomon

When you ask him if he can help you he shakes his head. To be honest he didn't even bother to try, the spell will wear off on it's own, there's no reason to speed it up when you look so cute!

Will put a invisibility spell on you so he can sneak you with him to school, and smile down at you every now and then making your heart flutter.

Will do all kinds of magic on you to have fun with you, making you float? easy. Making bubbles appear for you to bat at, for sure!

Finds it amusing that your fur and his hair is the same color, will also brush your fur for you.

"What would you like to try today after school? I can try to make some snacks as well, no? Then would your like to float again?"

Check out my master list for more content!

Aurora/ Gale BG3 fic 2…

Gale BG3 x Named Tav AFAB

Also available on my AO3, same username :) Written on my phone and pre-caffeine, so please forgive formatting, errors, SPAG etc.

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Gale had quite a library in and around his tent, stacks of books on the floor, his camp desk, the stool he used as a table next to his bedroll. Aurora eyed them greedily; back home, a million lifetimes away, she had amassed a library of her own, and written a fair few notebooks full of her own curving handwriting. She loved to read and to learn, and seeing Gale’s little portable library filled her with longing. It had taken a few days for her to gather the courage to ask to share in his books; he was quite protective of them, and she had noticed how gently he turned the pages of some of the older tomes. The group were enjoying a well-earned rest after an overnight journey that had lasted into the next morning, and most were in their own tents relaxing, napping, entertaining themselves. Aurora had spent a good half-hour watching Gale from the opening of her own tent, which sat next to his, as he leafed delicately through pages, sprawled on a rug on the floor. She tried not to stare, but found the way his fingers were almost caressing the pages as distracting as the thought of the knowledge within the books themselves. Gathering her courage, she quietly walked the few steps from her tent to his.

“I am so envious of your books, Gale. I do miss my own...” Aurora’s voice was quiet, half hoping not to disturb his reading, half hoping he would invite her to take a seat, and a book.

“If you would like to join me, and borrow one, please, be my guest! I do feel we could always do with a little more scholarship.” Gale had looked up from his book, smiling, and waved a hand towards the nearest pile, then patted the ground next to him. Eyes lighting up, Aurora grabbed the book atop the pile, a collection of stories about the various gods of Faerun, and plonked herself down across from Gale, her elbow on her knee, chin in her palm.

For a while neither spoke. Gale pretended to be reading his own book, while really watching her over the top of it. He found it easy to be distracted by Aurora, though he tried not to show it. As she read, her face sank into her hand, emerald eyes deeply absorbed in the page. She chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully and her brow furrowed a little in concentration as she turned the page. He tried to see the section she was reading, not wanting to distract her, but intensely curious about what had caused that little crease in her freckled forehead. As her face wrinkled further into a look of confusion, he couldn’t help himself.

“You look… Pensive, Aurora?” It was a question, not a comment.

“I just… I don’t understand it, Gale.” Her eyes flickered up from the page, to his face, then back down to the words in front of her again.

“Don’t understand what? Perhaps I may be of assistance?” He leaned towards her and looked at the upside-down page.

“These gods, I’m reading about… They aren’t kind, they’re cruel and capricious and I just… I don’t understand why anyone would choose to serve them, let alone want to become one.” The words had fallen from her mouth without consideration, prompted by his earnest interest. It did not take long for her to regret them.

“Ah. Easy words, spoken by one who has never been the chosen, the lover of a deity.” He replied calmly, matter of fact, without any real emotion, but Aurora’s face scrunched into a wince of regret and shame.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” her face flushed pink, “I forgot, I wasn’t…” Aurora’s voice trailed off, and her eyes didn’t meet his face, gazing down at the book on her knees instead.

“You are fortunate, to be capable of forgetting such a thing.” Gale’s voice was even quieter in his response, which did nothing to ease the anxiety she felt over such a stupid blunder.

“I’m sorry, Gale, I truly didn’t mean to insult you.” Aurora’s hand was on his arm now, and her face, which she managed to turn up to him with great effort, wore a look of desperate, embarrassed pleading. “Please, forget what I said. It was foolish, I didn’t think.”

“Not a problem, you are quite entitled to feel that way. Perhaps if I had known you back then, I would have made different choices. Perhaps my life would have taken a rather different turn. It is… beyond all imagining, to be the chosen of a goddess like Mystra, so I am unsurprised that it is difficult for you to understand.” Gale’s voice was still calm, factual, as if speaking to a student.

“Beyond all imagining?” Aurora’s voice, a little wobbly, now sounded cold, as though there were a shard of ice in it. She took her hand from his arm abruptly, as though burned by the touch.

“Beyond the heavens and the earth, the hells even. It is… indescribable.” Gale’s voice was distant, as if coming from a long way off. It made Aurora’s stomach twist, to hear him describe his relationship with a goddess who had forsaken him, abandoned him, tortured him, in that voice.

“And I suppose, no foolish mortal could ever compete with a goddess like that?” The ice had given way to venom, and though the words were delivered quietly there was a bitter poison in them. Aurora’s face had changed, too, with those words; her eyes narrowed, though she looked down at the ground rather than his face, the emeralds of her irises seemed darker. Gale looked intently at her, studied the tone of voice, the eyes. Was she judging him? Or could it be… he hardly dared to hope, but could it possibly be jealousy? He chose his next words thoughtfully.

“I… once believed that, yes.” The voice was not distant now, though still quiet, he was very much there with Aurora. He quite enjoyed the way her eyes widened again at those words, and watched her face carefully as she took in what he had said; confusion first, and then, something else… Something happier, hopeful even.

“Once?” Aurora’s gaze moved to Gale’s face now, the darkness gone, eyes shining bright once more. Her heart felt as though it had stopped in her chest, and would not beat again until she had his reply. She did not dare to breathe.

“Once, yes. Now, I am not so sure. There is a great deal I am not sure of.” Gale’s reply was almost a whisper, slow, as if the words were delicate and had to be treated with great care. As he said them he finally broke Aurora’s gaze, looking down at the book in his hands, unable to bear the intensity of her eyes on him as he admitted the truth. Aurora exhaled, and her heart roared in her chest.

“These are… uncertain times.” A pathetic response, she knew, but she couldn’t possibly say what was in her mind at that moment. How could she dare to ask if it was her that might have made him begin to change his opinion? Could she be reckless enough to consider that she, perhaps, might be able to contend with a goddess in Gale’s heart? The idea was madness, ridiculous, foolish! But that look in his eyes, as he had spoken… A spark of hope was kindled in her. She went back to reading the book, and so did Gale, though neither was taking in any of the words in front of them; they were lost in hopeful, foolish, ridiculous thoughts.

Hi! Heard you are Nikolai Lantsov's no ! stan. I love that man. What songs do you think would associate with him?

LMAO I LOVE THIS ASK SO MUCH OMG.

I actually have so many I associate with him, it’s a little crazy, but I’ll list some of my top ones (they’re all Taylor swift lmao)

*apologies for how long this is and how bad I am at explaining things LMAOOOO

1. Castles Crumbling by Taylor Swift- I could write PAGES UPON PAGES about this. The whole song is him but that BRIDGE?

“Smoke billows from my ships in the harbor/People look at me like I’m a monster”

TELL ME THAT WASNT WRITTEN ABT HIM?!

2. The Archer by Taylor Swift- Don’t even get me started. I’ve seen so many edits of him to this song (and I made one myself but it’s not on my edits tumblr yet). Once again, the BRIDGE of that song?!

“They see right through me”

“All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put me together again”

“Cause all of my enemies started off friends”

But also a lot of the lyrics outside of the bridge

“I never grew up, it’s getting so old”

“I wake in the night/I pace like a ghost/the room is on fire/invisible smoke”

This song is insanely Nikolai coded.

3. Mirrorball by Taylor Swift- I saw the most insane edit to this months ago that lowkey changed my life. It was to the speech from the long pond studio sessions film where she discusses the song, saying:

“We have mirrorballs in the middle of a dance floor because they reflect light, they are broken a million times and that's what makes them so shiny, we have people like that in society, too. They hang there and every time they break it entertains us. And when you shine a light on them it's this glittering, fantastic thing, but then a lot of the time when the spotlight isn't on them they're just still there on a pedestal but nobody's watching them”

If this is not Nikolai I don’t know what is. Some other lyrics I connect with him are:

“I can change everything about me to fit in”

Really reminds me of how he kinda completely changed himself and his various identities to match what others wanted

“I'm still a believer but I don't know why”

“I’ve never been a natural all I do is try try try”

“I’m still on that trapeze/I’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me”

4. Dear Reader- Taylor Swift

This song has always been a Kaz song for me but is insanely Nikolai.

“Dear Reader, get out your map/pick somewhere and just run”

“Dear Reader, burn all the files/desert all your past lives”

“And if you don’t recognize yourself/that means you did it right”

All of these make me think of how Nikolai grapples with self image and identities throughout the books. The second part makes me think of Sturmhond, the demon, and also lowkey Isaak.

And then the BRIDGE?

“So I wandered through these nights/I prefer hiding in plain sight”

“These desperate prayers of a cursed man”

“You wouldn’t take my word for it if you knew who was talking”

“To a house not a home all alone cause nobody’s there”

“No one sees you lose when you’re playing solitaire”

That’s all I’ll be talking abt for now but there are so many more. Some honorable mentions are:

The Lucky One

The last great American dynasty

You’re on Your Own, Kid

Bejeweled

Anti Hero

epiphany

And so many more. I’ve actually made edits to a lot of these at @to-assess-the-equation-of-you and on tiktok @cassles.dazzles! I could talk about this all day and sorry for how long this was 😭

Turning Page - Edward x Fem!Reader

TW: Death ,, Heartbreak ,, mentions of suicide ,,

Summary: Edward and reader have been friends for years, she knew about him and his family being vampires. Victoria comes back for revenge after James was killed by Edward and his family, so she takes away the only thing Edward loves; y/n. On his way to the Volturi, he meets a girl who looks exactly like her.

MASTERLIST CULLENS

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I've waited a hundred years

But I'd wait a million more for you

Nothing prepared me for

What the privilege of being yours would do

Edward regretted everything. He never knew spending time with Bella would cause y/n to lose her life, he never got to tell her how much he loved her. He never got to tell her, he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life. He never told her, she was his mate. Victoria chose to hurt y/n, a warning to Edward that she will be back for the revenge of her dead mate, James. He didn't know she would kill y/n, he thought the most she would do was turn her. But as the saying goes, a life for a life. Edward grieved for her everyday, his heart felt heavy, it was like he lost himself. He left Forks leaving everything behind, he was hoping the Volturi would end his pain. And off to Italy he went. Edward thought he saw her, but it was just a tourist. Everywhere he turned, he saw flashes of y/n. Her long h/c hair and bright e/c eye were something he would miss seeing everyday. Why did he think it was a good idea to be with Bella when Victoria was on the loose? Edward blamed himself for everything, if only he had spent the night with y/n instead, they could have watch a movie, read a book together. Anything would have been fine, spending time with her was all that had mattered to him.

If I had only felt the warmth within your touch

If I had only seen how you smile when you blush

Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough

I would have known what I was living for all along

Italy was a beautiful place, but all the red cloaks around Edward made him feel on edge. The Volturi were planning something but he didn't care to acknowledge it. He walked into the building, Felix and Demetri were waiting for him. They escorted Edward to the three vampire leader: Aro, Marcus and Caius. Aro, as usual, looked joyed to see the young fledgling stand before him. "Oh look at what we have here, young Edward Cullen. What might you need?" Aro's cold voice ripped through the air, his red beady staring intensely at Edward's form. Before he could tell them why he was here, a young girl came in, her black and red cloak sitting loosely on her shoulders. "I'm sorry to interrupt your meeting, but I need to speak to you, Aro." The confidence in her voice reminded Edward of his lost love. The young vampire even looked like her too. Wait. Was that y/n? Before he knew what he was doing, Edward was stood beside her. Her face in his hands as he examined every inch of her, it was her, it had to be. The young vampire was surprise, no one has ever reacted to her like that before. "Do you want us to remove him, Celeste?" With a flick of her hand, both her and Edward disappeared into thin air.

What I've been living for

Your love is my turning page

Where only the sweetest words remain

Every kiss in a cursive line

Every touch is a redefining phrase

They were now in a room, it had wall length bookshelves, a dark red leather arm chair and a piano. Edward notice something on the arm chair, a book that y/n loved to read: To the Lighthouse. She would go on for hours about how Virginia Wolf was an amazing writer and how he could've met her and he wouldn't have known. Edward smiled at the memory, picking up the book and flipping through it. A note fell out of it, he picked it up about to read it but a hand snatched it from him. "Did I allow you to touch my prized possession?" He knew the question was rhetorical, so he just hung his head low trying his best to avoid eye contact. The young girl sighed, she felt bad for hurting his feeling but he needs to learn boundaries and not go touching someone else's things. "I'm sorry for you loss, I know she meant a lot to you." Edward's head snaps up, his eyes trained on the girl in front of him. How did she know about y/n? Were the Volturi behind her death? "She was my sister, Edward. She would send me letters every month, telling me all about you. I was happy she found someone to love her, but y/n always thought you didn't love them back because of that human girl." If he could cry right now, he would be on the floor sobbing his heart out. How did he not know y/n's sister was Celeste? One of the most powerful members of the Volturi?

I surrender who I've been for who you are

For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart

If I had only felt how it feels to be yours

Well, I would have known what I've been living for all along

What I've been living for

They spent hours together, talking about their memories with y/n. It felt nice being able to talk to someone about her, Celeste wasn't able to see her sister, in fear of Aro or Caius killing her for finding out about vampires. "There was this one time when were we little, our mother was making us something to eat for lunch and y/n being the rebellious one out of us, she ran around the whole house getting mud and grass everywhere. Our mother was not proud." Soft giggles fell from her lips, Edward saw pieces of his mate in her, they were like one soul put into two people. He enjoyed being around her, it made him feel a little better, it was like he still had y/n with him. Celeste handed Edward the note she snatched from him earlier, she told him y/n wrote it for him. With that, she left, giving him space to read it alone.

"Dear Eddie,

If you're reading this, something has happened to me but fear not! I'm still here, well at least my soul is. I just wanted to write this for you so you will still have something of me when I'm gone. I love you, I always have. From the first moment I met you in the forest, I knew we were meant to be, you brought so much love into my life and I'm forever grateful. I'm sorry I can't be here with you right now, I know it's tough but you're strong, Eddie. I'll always be looking over you. I'm so proud of you, you've achieved so much throughout your life, you are the most astonishing boy I've ever had the privilege of knowing. Keep living your life, Edward, you're needed in this world. You will have a family one day and I promise you, I will never leave your side. Don't think of this as a goodbye, just think of it as I'm visiting my mom for a little while and we will be reunited in no time. I love you, Eddie, please never forget that.

Lots of love,

Y/N xx"

The pain Edward felt in his chest was unbearable, all he wanted to do was scream and cry to his hearts content. He would live for her, those were her wishes and he wouldn't go against them.

Though we're tethered to the story we must tell

When I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well

With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas

Like a feather, bringing kingdoms to their knees

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Random story I wrote awhile back, it's just been sitting in my drafts so I thought I might publish it and see how it goes. I hope you enjoyed reading it, have a lovely day/night !

Newly Discovered Desires

Cruise x Reader

You spent most of your time cooped up in this building. Drinking terrible coffee and eating take out. Even when you left work all you wanted to do was relax, a stressful job will do that. So your social life outside of work was completely non existing, and your romantic life only existed in the books you read. You were okay with that though because your books were plenty or at least you thought they were. 

After a rough day at work T.C. invited everyone out, offering to buy the first round. After the first round there was a second round and by the four your night started to blur. That was your first mistake. The mistake that led to the main mistake, the huge mistake. 

All you needed was your romance books, at least that's what you thought. Now at this moment you're beginning to doubt your previous belief. Cause the feeling of his hands running up your shirt, and his lips grazing your neck sent your senses into overdrive in a way words on a page never could. 

The alcohol in your system only amplifies your reaction to his touch. Never in a million years did you think you would let HIM of all people kiss you. He's a cocky ass, the only reason you tolerate him is because he's good at his job, but tolerating someone is a long way from letting them see you naked. Yet here you are moaning into his mouth. Unbuttoning his shirt and begging him to hurry up. 

That's the last thing you remember, the next day. As soon as you wake up a headache immediately greets you making you groan. The previous night was a blur but the things you did remember couldn’t possibly be true. There's absolutely no way you would kiss him let alone take him back to your apartment. That's what you believed until you opened your eyes and saw him lying next to you. The sight has you jumping out of bed. 

The sudden movement has him, Cruise lifting his head. He lazily flips over making eye-contact with you. He takes a moment to process what's happening and when he finally does he doesn’t seem horrified. In fact he seems the opposite, he's cocky, his signature smirk on his face. “Well isn’t this a sight to see” he eyes you up and down. You finally take a second to see what you're wearing and the sight has you cringing. You're dressed in his white button up and only his white button up.

You reach for the blanket only for Cruise to yank the blanket back. Of course even in a situation like this he's a jerk. “Jesus, how much did I have to drink to overlook your being a jerk?”

“Probably the same amount as me since I forgot just how bitchy you can be.” you openly gasp at him. Before staring at him with a glare that would send anyone running but Cruise just smiles at you before falling to your bed again.

“I’m going to shower and when I come out you're going to be gone and we will never mention this again to anyone” there was an underlying threat to your words one you made sure he picked up on.

“I need to shower too so why don’t we save water” 

“Cruise I’m being serious for all we know nothing happened so there's no need to bring it up again” Yeah maybe the two of you only kissed and you're wearing his shirt because you got hot in the middle of the night and his shirt was the closest thing to you. You were already forcing yourself to believe your unlikely narrative. 

“Yeah you're right I’m sure we just passed out and this condom in the trash is unrelated” Your heart stops your rounding the bed and checking in the trash can to find said condom. “Oh my mistake there's actually two condoms still it could be just a coincidence.” 

“Okay fine we slept together, still this changes nothing.” You were determined to sweep this under the rug. If anyone ever found out about this you would never hear the end of it. 

“Understood, I wouldn’t want anyone finding out about this incident either” You knew why you didn’t want anyone to find out about you and him but you didn’t think he wouldn’t want people to know. What's so bad about sleeping with you? STOP! You clear your mind, take a breath, you don’t care why he doesn’t want people to know. It's good for you that he wants to keep this secret too. Now you can take your shower and not worry that when you get to work everyone will be whispering. 

With one final look at Cruise you slip into the bathroom. You're finally able to take a survey of your appearance. Your hair is a mess and a trail of purple marks on your neck slips below the neckline of your, his shirt. You're slipping off the shirt in a hurry, allowing you to see the full extent of last night's activities. Your body is decorated with various purple marks, a mixture of bruises and hickeys.

He's quick to pull your shirt off, trailing kisses on the newly exposed skin. With every kiss you feel yourself get more and more lost in his touch. 

The memory has you shivering you just need to wash off last night. Put it behind you and never think of it again.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

“I need my shirt” you pick up the shirt cracking the bathroom door and slipping it through the bathroom door. You wait by the door waiting to hear the click of the front door. Once you hear it you finally get in the shower. 

~~~

Cruise said he wouldn't tell anyone and while you wanted to believe him you still found yourself hesitant to actually walk into work. If you didn’t hurry you would be late, gathering all your courage you finally pushed open the doors. 

You're thankful that you made it all the way to your area without anyone giving you knowing looks. It seems he was able to keep his mouth shut after all. 

The rest of your day went smoothly, an average normal day. After your morning/night you're more than thankful for your boring day. Now your going to go home and end your day with delicious food and a good movie. 

“Hey sweetheart, are you heading out?” Of course he has to ruin your night. 

“Since when do you call me sweetheart?” 

“It seems only fitting now that I know just how sweet you taste” a blush covers your face at his words. Cruise smiles at your reaction, taking pride in making you blush. 

“I thought we both agreed to not mention last night ever again”

“That was before I remembered all about last night” that wasn’t fair, you could only remember snippets from last night but if Cruise could remember all of it he has the upper hand. “Why don't you come back to my place and we can recreate last nights activities” 

“Cruise, i thought i made this crystal clear i want nothing to do with you” you words were harsh but you needed to make sure they cut through his thick skull. 

“Okay fine I’ll just return your underwear tomorrow then” it took you a moment to process his words but when you did your gasping. He stole your underwear, what a pervert.

“You stole my underwear?”

“Of course not I borrowed them, as insurance”

“….” You pause for a moment trying to process his words. As insurance, what sane person steals someone's underwear as insurance. Just as you're about to tell him to bring them tomorrow you freeze for a moment. If the last five seconds of this conversation is anything to go by, Cruise is insane. You could already picture him strolling into work and dropping the item in your lap for everyone to see. Even thinking about it was making you embarrassed. No you would have to get them yourself which unfortunately meant going to his place. 

~~

Cruise had been talking non-stop as soon as you sat down. Making the drive to his place excruciatingly long. You were already pouting at the thought of having to do it again. Cruise refused to give you his address so you were forced to ride in his car. Finally you arrive at his place, it's nicer than you thought it was going to be. “Go get them” you don’t plan on spending a second longer here than you have to. 

“Why don’t you have a drink first?” 

“I don’t plan on drinking ever again” he chuckles a little, mumbling something along the lines of ‘oh well I tried’. He heads to the back part of the apartment opening what you're assuming is his bedroom. You wait as patiently as you can for him to reemerge. He comes from the bedroom, your underwear hanging off his pointer finger. As soon as he’s close your reaching for them only for him to yank them away from you. You should have known it wasn’t going to be easy. You reach for them once more, even if it is futile. His 6’0 ass is holding them way above his head. Before you resort to kicking him in his groin you decide to try and sneak attack him. You pretend to give up walking away from him. You watch him out of the corner of your eye, he’s still holding them way above his head. He barely has time to register you running full speed at him, jumping into his arms. Both of you go crashing into the fall, at the last second Cruise is able to steady the two of you. “Are you trying to kill me?” His words are breathless as he tries to catch his breath. You're not focusing on him, however your attention on the underwear balled in his hand that now rests on your hip. You're pulling them from his grasp before he even knows what's happening. 

“I win” you say cheerfully, tucking your newly found clothing item in your pocket. Cruise is too focused on your smile to be mad about you winning. 

“Did you? I’m the one that has you in my arms” his fingers dig into your hips reminding you of the bruises that already rest there.

“That's enough of that, just put me down so you can drop me back off” You try to wiggle out of his grasp but his grip only tightens. You're prepared to tell him off for not putting you down. The words die on your tongue as soon as you lock eyes with him. ‘He has no business looking at me like that’ you think to yourself. 

“Can’t I have a kiss, you did almost kill me” You didn’t feel bad, he deserved it for holding your underwear hostage, so why are you leaning in. 

The kiss turns heated instantly, your hands tangling themselves in his soft hair. While his fingers continue to dig into the flesh of your hips. He pulls away, placing kisses over neck. In between each kiss you hear him mumble ‘Can’t believe that worked’ 

You can’t believe you fell for that cheesy line either. Yet here you are in Cruises arms once again. Turns out his mouth is useful for more than snarky remarks. Your curious what other things he’s been keeping secret…

All odd number questions!

Buckle up lads, it's a long one!

What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting? -Usually whatever the default font is, though sometimes I'll use the Comic Sans trick if I'm stuck. Sometimes i'll get fancy and use a typewriter font.

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed? -the fact that I don't have one. Very cursed.

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true? -that if I talk about my current work in too much detail with someone, I lose the motivation to write it because now the idea exists outside of my head. So if I'm really passionate about a piece, I won't say much about it.

7. . What is your deepest joy about writing? -putting that guy in situations. And the milfs

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know -hell fucking yeah I do.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve? -I don't grieve, but I am pretty ruthless.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy? -smut. Some people think I'm good at it and when I'm drunk, it comes easily but mostly I can't just write smut. Bloody imagery comes really easily though.

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends? -sometimes I'll write in the margins of pages. I don't dog ear them because a lot of my books are old and doing that will rip the paper. I used to judge people who did these things but now I see it as a sign of love.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text. -oh god. Gonna do Woe Begets Misery (so @yourlocaldisneyvillain here's a little present!). Um, let's see... Isabel Noble lives in a haunted house in Los Angeles, though we won't be seeing it in this installment. She was adopted and her birth mother was clairvoyant. Her birth father was named Lawrence and was driven to madness both by the haunted house and Isabel's mother (girl power). She has had her heart broken a million times and will never learn from it. Her adoptive father, Derek Noble, has a face claim: Nikolaj Coster-Waldau. He was a good dad, but his death wreaks havoc on Isabel's mind.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going? -I started writing when I was veryyyyy little. I wrote a diary when I was six but it was fictitious, so that was the start. Lot of bumps. Finally got into playwriting.

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not? -Nope could never quit writing. My mind is too full.

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture. -My thoughts are around me. I tune out everything. It's just me and a blur. And a hot drink.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story? Isabel Noble had braces and wore a retainer.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why? Gregory House. He's complex and I tend to soften him more than he is.

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry? Life. My own horniness.

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate? I do some painting, but keep it separate

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

Dear beloveds,

You are genuinely the reason I keep going.

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens? Incomplete sentences. Sometimes the cadence calls for it.

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you? "Get this girl some therapy... I hope she found a milf to love her."

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up? My ideas.

Oasis: Day Seventeen

CW: Nightmares; soldiers being inhumane, hiding; ripped out of house; attempted rape; gore (body horror), animal attack, religious allusions

This is a very disturbing part; if you don’t want to, or cannot read it; there will be a non-graphic recap at the beginning of the next part to let you know what happened, as it is important to the plot.

If you are fine with everything but don’t want to read the gore, skip the section between the 🦉

Don’t sacrifice your mental health for fiction (especially not mine; I will be personally hurt and insulted if you do).

…

…

… I slept all day yesterday. I the most horrible nightmares. I remember everything so clearly it’s almost as if it actually happened. Though rationally, I know I never experienced any of it. I think it may be a warning of some sort… Let me tell you about it, whoever you are:

At first, I was sitting somewhere pitch-dark and cold, like a cellar. There were other people with me who I could not see; but I could feel them moving and shifting around me. We were in close quarters, breathing together. Every sound we made was painfully loud. Maybe it was the acoustics; maybe it was our state of mind. We were waiting for something terrible to happen.

But the strangest thing was that our emotional climate was not one entirely of fear. It was something else, something so distinctly eager. Reverent, even. Our suffering was virtuous; and we were all in it together. We understood what was happening and why — nobody could take that knowledge from us. I understood it, too, in the moment of the dream. But now the knowledge is taken from me.

Soon the sound of many, many boots came running in above our heads. We shuddered. Loud, but muffled voices sounded through the upper room, which I presumed to be attached to a small bungalow of some sort. Though I had never seen the house, I felt as if I knew exactly what it looked like; in my heart of hearts, I could have drawn its floor plan. I could see what rooms the men above were in based on what I heard of their movements. I could see them picking up little trinkets on the shelves and setting them down. I could see them opening the kitchen cupboards. I could see them rummaging through the clothes in the bedroom, and then the bookcase—

Something was on that bookcase that shouldn’t have been there… or did I have it? I hoped I had it. Or perhaps someone else had it. It didn’t matter where it was; just please not there.

Or were there more of them than only one? A myriad rainbow of books flashed before my eyes in recollection. There was a loud thud, like a bomb on the bedroom floor... something blue. He was stooping to pick it up. He was reading the cover, flipping through the pages of a history long-reiterated since the bloom of technology — something only living in the back of our minds, until then. I could barely hear a child cry over the sound of my own heartbeat.

That’s when they found us. The trap door above our heads slammed open.  I should have been scared; but a wave of calm washed over me. It was alright. This needed to happen. 

Adults and children alike, we turned to face these men, peacefully offering our arms to them. We were hoisted one-by-one into the room; then they shoved us out of the house, at gunpoint, into the open air. I landed on my bare knees, in the grass.

It was an unusually loud, bright night. Crickets, cicadas, and frogs made the air sound like it was sizzling in a frying pan. Millions upon millions of stars sparkled in the sky. It was like being in the middle of outer space. I stared at the the spectacle, half dazed, in wonder. 

I was harshly pulled to my feet and made to walk in a straight line behind the others. These men were taking us somewhere, presumably to kill us. The thought of what would happen next was terrifying; but we were all assured: whatever horrible things might happen that night would not happen to us.

As we trudged through the muddy fields, we came upon a tree, which wasn’t very tall, but wide. We were all told to stop walking at about fifty paces away and forcibly lined up side-by-side, facing this tree. It was then I noticed a small bird, like a funny-looking owl, perched on one of its branches. I would not been able to see it had it not been for the stars illuminating the white stripe around its neck and wings; otherwise, it was a brown bird, with pitch-black eyes. It wasn’t long before three more flew in and perched themselves right next to the first one; then another three, and another three. Some more landed on a different branch. Like the first, they all remained completely silent.

I froze at the sensation of cold metal on the back of my neck. My arm was being grabbed, obscene words whispered in my ears in a mixture of breath and spit. But my eyes were fixed on what was happening in the tree. The men were too busy terrorizing us to notice as birds descended on the tree from every direction, dozens at a time. Their number grew steadily like an exponential function, flocking, landing, squeezing themselves between the others until every limb was weighed-down with these strange, mute little owls. 

I tried to fight off the man, but I was too weak. He threw me on the ground; that’s when I got my first good look at him: He was wearing a black uniform. His face was smudged out. This faceless, mouthless soldier was shouting, pulling my hair, bashing my skull. I was screaming. Everyone was screaming. The insects quickly rose to a fever pitch, trilling at such a high volume that our cries were drowned out. 

Suddenly, the light shifted in a way it should not have. Alarmed at the change, the man stopped attacking me and jumped to his feet. I lay there, exhausted and shaking all over from what had just transpired. My lips were moving, my throat was vibrating with sound; but I neither knew, nor heard what I was saying at all. I was crying out something very profound and long-winded. The only words I remember from it were “the flesh of kings.” I don’t know what that meant. It obviously bore some significance to the situation; but what, I don’t know. I was terribly frightened and not at all present in my body.

I looked at the sky; the stars seemed like they were spinning. I managed to roll onto my side to get away from them because they were making me dizzy. I covered my ears, trying to block out the deafening noise. My organs were rattling inside my body. I remember begging, “Help me” over and over again. Within seconds I felt the sensation of a benevolent, warm presence wrap itself around my abdomen. I put my hand to my abdomen to feel what was causing it. Nothing was there. Another warm spot formed at my head; everything was going to be alright. 

There was a tiny pop, barely-audible. I opened my eyes. Across the field, I was able to see the soldiers whipping around in every direction, frantically pointing their guns heavenwards, then at the tree, and back again. They were like frightened animals. I, too, was unnerved; I had to sit up to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me:

The tree was cast in what looked like a spotlight. This spotlight was not stationary— neither was the moon. Obviously, every stellar body is in constant motion, it would be silly to say I was alarmed at this fact alone. But in relation to my position on Earth, I could see with my own two eyes, the moon was orbiting around the Earth at an immense speed. Despite the knowledge I seemed to have in this dream,  it frightened me. 

The multitude of tiny, white-throated owls, on the other hand, were peaceful as ever. They were soundless, motionless; more like stone than flesh and blood. Birds are such sensitive creatures, especially to changes in magnetism; yet they did not react to the moon… Why?

I jumped. A pair of wings whizzed past my ear from behind. Then another, and another, and another. I stood. There was a huge, black cloud lifting off ground, and we were right in the middle of it. This strange cloud hovered above our heads, as if suspended in a liquid. The soldiers backed up in groups of two to five men, staying as close as they could to one another in order to ward off whatever was to come.

Then suddenly everything was gone. The moon, the crickets, the stars in the sky. It was pitch-black and dead silent; as if had someone covered our eyes and plugged our ears — but both were still wide-open.

When this cover lifted from our senses, it was daylight. The sun was out and the birds were singing as if nothing ever changed. We all rose unsteadily to our feet to see what had just happened. All the soldiers were dead. The ground was littered with them. In a state of shock, awe, and morbid curiosity, I slowly approached the nearest corpse…

🦉

There was so much blood on the ground that I had to be careful not to slip in it. His body was rigid; the fingers bent in an unnatural position. I should have turned back, but I didn’t. I went even closer. His face had been eaten off, except for his left eye, which was hanging down the side of his skull by a wet clump of connective tissue. It was a blue eye. 

One of the birds that had been in the tree fluttered down, landing with its feet in the ripped-open pool of the soldier’s mouth. It bobbed around before nestling between what little of his teeth were still intact, bathing in the blood as if it were water. 

“Whip-poor-will, whip-poor-will,” The little bird said. 

🦉

I awoke, bolt-upright, screaming. Kylie appeared at my bedside and I latched onto her. I think I may have crushed the girl… I feel just awful.

…

Tagging: @astudyinpanda @oldwoolhat @jiminy-cricket-but-gay @gorelabs @straight-to-the-pain @incoherent-introspection @nova-3-the-exo @bitalene

The Dark Tower (2017)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

Stephen King began The Dark Tower series in 1982 and concluded in 2012. It incorporates elements of fantasy, horror, western and fantasy. Some consider it his magnum opus. Even if you haven't read a single page, you'll recognize this film adaptation has simplified it to death. It's Unimaginative but promising, complex to the point of being confusing but so simple you can foresee every development coming from universes away. In the end, you’ll wonder if maybe you weren’t paying attention or if you missed something but there’s just nothing here.

11-year-old Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor) dreams of a strange world, of a Man in Black, of a gunman who seeks revenge against him and of a tower under attack. The man, a sorcerer named Walter Padick (Matthew McConaughey) is real and seeks to use Jake’s psychic gift to destroy all realities. Only Roland Deschain (Idris Elba), the last Gunslinger, stands in his way.

A lonely boy is thrust into a big adventure and learns the world's fate rests in his hands while sinister forces seek him out. His youth and wide-eyed optimism are exactly what the now-jaded hero needs to put him back on the path of righteousness. When you take a step back, the plot is familiar, so how can so much of The Dark Tower be indecipherable?

Most of the time, when a film’s length is brought up in a review it’s because the movie is too long. This movie is too short. Way too short. We’re never allowed to dig into the world, characters or mythology. Walter seeks to use the powers of psychic children to launch beams of light that will topple the titular Dark Tower, destroy the barrier which surrounds all worlds and allow legions of demons in. Why? So he can rule. But why? We see what abilities he possesses. With them, he's able to do nearly anything his heart desires. He can mind-control people, make objects levitate, has access to stargates and can communicate telepathically. How would destroying everything improve his situation? You don’t understand his motivations and watching McConaughey, you wonder if he doesn’t realize how flat and uninteresting this character is. This might explain why he gives the peculiar performance that he does. I wouldn’t call it bad but you almost expect him to turn towards the screen and say “Ain’t I a stinker?” after every line.

Similarly, there’s little to Idris Elba’s Roland Deschain. At least you understand his motivation, which is a step up from Walter but he doesn’t spend enough time with Jake for you to feel a bond of friendship between them. When someone tells Roland he’s just “using the boy to get revenge” it should be a tower-toppling reveal but you won’t care. Little about this story will surprise or move you.

This movie feels as though it’s hitting you with big inflatable boxing gloves, the kind that have no impact on you but are so big they hinder its movement. The action scenes are either too dark, too frenetic, feature opponents who aren’t menacing, or are paced in a way that makes you go “Oh! Is it over? I didn’t realize it had started”. So much of this movie feels like it’s building up to something that never comes. Well, unless you’re waiting for references to Stephen King’s other works, which are plentiful and in-your-face. The first scene features a reference to The Shining and it isn’t the only one. It’s a way to keep you entertained, I guess.

Utterly forgettable, bland and generic, I can’t imagine any fans of the book series being satisfied with The Dark Tower. Newcomers are likely to be confused or unimpressed. Will they be turned away from the novels? Probably initially but in the long run, they’re unlikely to remember they even watched the film so King's books are safe. The ending hints at a sequel but that's not happening, not in a million years. (June 5, 2020)

How do you take negative criticism on your writing?

For a brief while I took hate comments personal but now I like to believe they’re commented by those too young to understand the way words put them down. Sometimes it is hard to feel good about your writing when everything feels like it’s under a microscope being observed though…

Hello 🖤🖤 thank you for your question. My answer is a bit long lol. 😅🖤

I don’t take criticism well at all. I’ve had some pretty nasty things said to me in the past, years ago even, and I still remember that shit. It hurts.

I’m an extremely sensitive person, and it’s not easy to put yourself on the line and share writing with thousands of people. I mean, anything can happen. Hate comments, neutral comments, no comments, creepy comments, etc. There have been a lot of times I wanted to quit writing completely bc I didn’t think it was worth how awful it feels to be judged.

But then I think to myself, you know what? There’s like fucking millions of fics and books and shit in the world for people to read… maybe they hate what I wrote and they think I suck, well good for them. They can go read something else and go away. Like?? How hard is it to read something, realize it’s not appealing to you, and then EXIT THE PAGE without being a cunt?? You know, silently decide not to continue to reading it. Because if I wanted an editor or someone to tell me what they didn’t like, I would’ve asked. You know? Like what is a hate comment supposed to accomplish? Do they think they’re doing us a favour and helping us improve? Because they’re not.

If it’s telling me about typos or something and stuff I could actually fix/edit quickly, then yes please tell me. Similarly, if they write me a genuine comment about something they didn’t like or that made them uncomfortable, without insulting me… Sure. It would sting, but sometimes I’d really like to know where I went wrong with something. Or if I’ve accidentally said something offensive. Otherwise… no. It’s absolutely no good to me to be criticized. Just makes me feel like shit, and then I don’t want to write.

And that would be sad!! if I didn’t write I wouldn’t have made any of the friends I currently have, I wouldn’t have learned the lessons I’ve learned. I would lose my hobby. And why should I lose out just because of strangers on the internet??? I don’t think so.

So yes it really hurts, sometimes it takes me days to get over. The other day someone on Tik Tok said something about MPG that made me cry for a couple hours. Idk. I worry all the time about not being good enough. But I’ve decided not to let it stop me. And I hope it doesn’t stop you either!! We just have to try and remember to have fun with writing and remember why we started in the first place.

I find that taking a break from it all and just reading and watching TV and getting inspired again really helps. Putting yourself first instead of trying to impress anybody or meet expectations. I made that mistake more than once, and it never got me anywhere.

What I’m going to do from now on is not post WIPs. Maybe that can help you too! Avoid the pressure of knowing people are waiting for you to update, avoid receiving comments that make you reconsider everything you had planned for the next chapters, avoiding seeing that your most recent chapter lost you some subscribers or that someone didn’t comment… avoid having to wonder what you did wrong, why they stopped liking it. Because people can get in your head, and the fear of disappointing them paralyzes you… then you just lose motivation to continue because “what’s the point?”

I mean in MPG, everybody wanted something different. Bottom Steve, top Steve, switch Steve, sub Steve, Billy redemption arc, Billy to be killed, Billy and Steve to make up, more chapters, less chapters, more smut, more plot, you know? All this conflicting stuff and I couldn’t possibly make EVERYONE happy. It’s exhausting. But if I would’ve just written for myself privately and then published it, I would’ve been absorbed in the exact story I wanted to tell, and it would have been so much more fulfilling. It would be finished by now, and I’d probably be a lot happier with it.

So that’s my advice from experience. Try to take a break, keep your writing for yourself and for trusted people, and then when it’s ready and truly the story you want to tell, post it if you wish. And then you’ll have the confidence within yourself to stand by what you wrote because you know it’s exactly what you wanted and that YOU are happy with it. Even if someone is a jerk, you know in your heart that you like your story. And that makes it easier to brush off negativity. Yes, it’s great if people like it, but that’s just extra. We need to love our own stories and writing and ignore the noise. Or else we’ll never get anywhere.🖤🖤🖤

I hope that helps even a little bit. 🖤🖤

the love hypothesis: ali hazelwood book review (2/5 ☆☆)

There’s a section in Foyles right as you walk in- bearing a sign with the words “TikTok made me do it!”. That pretty much sums up how, and why I came into possession of this book. 

Truthfully, I wasn’t expecting much- I don’t think that we look at books in that section in the same way that we do Jane Eyre. I wouldn’t have actively sought out or bought this book had there not been A) a disgustingly cheap offer in The Works (A treasure trove for anyone who enjoys contemporary fiction) or B) a certain @virgoswifties on Instagram advertising it relentlessly (I trust her judgement). It’s reputation precedes it* in that it’s not held particularly seriously- more as a light, fun (if a little cheesy) read. It’s reviews are mixed for this reason, but it honestly surprised me. I was expecting much worse. The Bar was admittedly low. Still, there are things that I would improve

*no pun intended if you’re actually a Swiftie.

It’s story follows the relationship between a socially awkward, meek PhD Student Olive Smith (missed opportunity to name her Olive Greene) and very tall, [practically internationally-known] “asshole” Professor Adam Carlsen. They go about a Fake-Dating scheme so that Olive’s best friend Anh, can date her ex [who broke her heart into a million pieces] without feeling guilty. Not to anyone’s surprise, they fall in love. I don’t think I needed to put a Spoiler alert on that- It would’ve been insulting given how obvious it is.

I like that it uses it’s speech in a realistic, more modern way, especially given that Olive is not particularly well-spoken. I like that there are excerpts of text messages- and the incorporation of this feels natural. This makes complete and utter creative sense. However, where they occur, the descriptions are sub-par, if I may be so brutally honest. It carries on with the same informal tone as the text, and because of that, it comes across as juvenile. The fact that it’s written in third person doesn’t really make sense, given that we just follow Olive. If it had been written in first, it would’ve been more cohesive, as her inner monologue is probably voiced in this tone. As well as this, the actual proportion of Speech to actual literary text is astounding. I could flick to any page and probably seventy percent + of it is just speech. I’d hate to think that the publishers made her strip back the text for Commercial interest.

Another Detail that irks me is the number of times we are badgered as readers to remember just how tall, big, massive, huge, towering Adam is. Again, using a first person POV would’ve made more sense, as these are Olive’s thoughts. 

The Characters were bland, to put it simply. I didn’t dislike them at all, but they felt very generic, and weren’t really expanded upon. Adam is grumpy, yet honest and human (he was the most described Character, and had the most extensive backstory.). Olive devotes her life to academia, is clumsy, witty when she wants to be (I would’ve liked to see that side of her more), Anh is feminist, and Malcolm is the gay best friend... we don’t really get much more than that. 

The LGBTQ+ representation in this book is something else that bothered me too. Though not explicitly stated, Olive presents traits of Demisexuality- which is described just before She and Adam are about to have Sex:

 “It’s not that I want to not have sex. I just . . . don’t particularly want to have it. There is something weird about my brain, and my body, and—I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I don’t seem to be able to experience attraction like other people. Like normal people. I tried to just . . . just to do it, to get it over with, and the guy I did it with was nice, but the truth is that I just don’t feel any . . .” She closed her eyes. This was difficult to admit. “I don’t feel any sexual attraction unless I actually get to trust and like a person, which for some reason never happens. Or, rarely. It hadn’t, not in a long time, but now—I really like you, and I really trust you, and for the first time in a million years I want to—” 

This is something that is glossed over extensively, which I’m sure many wouldn’t appreciate. To quote a Goodreads reviewer:

“It was as if the author just wanted to add more to Olive’s lacking personality so she sprinkled some pretty damn humiliating ace representation. Many people might not realize how ignorant it really is when you take a misrepresented and underrepresented sexual orientation and make your character say “there is something wrong with [her] brain,” making it seem like she “isn’t normal” because she experiences sexual attraction differently than “normal people”. Saying this is not only stereotypical, but generally rude.”

Also, to have Malcolm’s character be nothing more than the overdone “Gay Best Friend” stereotype is so tired. This misrepresentation unfortunately adds to the fact that this book isn’t really taken seriously. The story is promising and honestly unique- but this is one of a few missteps.

Concerning the aforementioned Sex Scene[s}. In one night- and I say in the most respectful way possible- they really got it on (and I’ve read Colleen Hoover). 28 Pages of explicit, horny, and somewhat cringey detail. You wouldn’t have known from the cover, thank goodness.

My problem with these kinds of books is that they take themselves too seriously. For instance, This could be a perfect, fluffy romance book marketed towards [pre]teens (not to diminish our intelligence, or anything)- but the Sex Scene? It’s evidently not for that age group. Despite that, It’s toned down: embarrassed. Embrace a genre!

In conclusion (to wrap it up, midnight is fast approaching), please feel free to read this book. It’s not groundbreaking, if a little boring, but I wouldn’t adamantly shoo you away from it if I saw you approaching where it lies in that Foyles section. There are many people that enjoyed it more than I did, and you may be one of them, if you’re into contemporary literature. However, you might want to be prepared for disappointment. If all else fails, There’s always Taylor Jenkins Reed.

P.S: To anyone who originated from my 1984 book review- yes, my Literary Palette went downhill. I read too many stark classics back to back- namely The Collector, The Bell Jar, The Diary of Anne Frank- and needed a break. Especially because I lamented to my English teacher on many occasions [”Why Oh Why am I so depressed..... What book am I reading? Oh. OK. That makes sense.”], and it was all getting a bit too much. Anyhow, better things are coming (Eat, Pray, Love & Lolita). 

Pricey Good friend, Since 1937, over 20 million copies of Suppose & Develop Wealthy have been bought, and it’s the #1 guide most millionaires credit score with their success. So why isn’t it working for you but? I’ve received the key for you proper on this web page – it’s type of lengthy, however isn’t having that highly effective secret value a couple of minutes of your time? My title is Bob Proctor, star of The Secret and Suppose & Develop Wealthy films, and the world’s foremost professional on success and the human thoughts. I used to be as soon as similar to you. Making an attempt my highest – and arising quick. Again then, I felt that life was fairly robust. By no means appeared to be sufficient time to do all of the issues I needed to do. And I simply couldn’t get forward in my profession in any respect. For some time, I assumed I’d simply must accept being odd. I used to be pissed off. With the nagging feeling that one thing was lacking. However I couldn’t put my finger on it. It simply sat there, deep inside. At all times faintly conscious of the difficulty, however too busy residing a ‘regular life’ to do something about it. That's… till I picked up a duplicate of Suppose & Develop Wealthy in October of 1961. And nothing was ever the identical once more. What You Get: Principles of Prosperity goes to lastly bridge the hole between Suppose & Develop Wealthy and YOUR success. It’s the abstract of 57 years of learning the guide, extracting the teachings and implementing them. So YOU don’t must undergo all that trial-and-error. And no expense has been spared within the manufacturing of this program. This isn't some man sitting in a basement, recording himself together with his telephone. We despatched in a full video group to seize Bob and his insights in minute element, with Hollywood high quality. This fashion, the data just isn't solely helpful – it’s entertaining and uniquely watchable. And while you genuinely get pleasure from watching this, you’ll look ahead to longer and retain the data higher. If you enroll in Principles of Prosperity: You’ll out of the blue achieve the flexibility to create synchronicities that just about magically line up excellent conditions – so it looks as if the universe has your again, and unhealthy luck turns into a factor of the previous You’ll see the distillation of my 57 years of steady research & implementation of the secrets and techniques of Suppose & Develop Wealthy – into quick, easy-to-digest chunks you should utilize daily. The truth is – that is far larger than my very own analysis – Napoleon Hill invested years with the world’s most profitable individuals, picked their brains and have become shut buddies with them. He found what made them profitable, put all of it within the guide, and I’m increasing on that huge properly of success in Principles of Prosperity Dive deep into every of the 13 ideas of Suppose & Develop Wealthy like no different useful resource has ever achieved earlier than. Many individuals have simply learn the guide and made hundreds of thousands – suppose how straightforward will probably be when you have got 10x the perception into every chapter It’s your ‘GPS for fulfillment’ – merely decide whichever space you need to work on, go to that module video, and your reply shall be there Revealed: The easy trick Andrew Carnegie taught Napoleon Hill on that fateful night time… a trick that enabled Hill to by far surpass his achievements and it might probably create astounding success in your life too, when you begin working towards it Right here’s PROOF: I used that easy trick to go from completely nothing to having an organization with workplaces all over the world, all by the facility of the thoughts, and of the idea this trick, a straightforward factor anyone can do, put in in me You’ll lastly start to create your personal actuality… and never solely that, however for the primary time you’ll be in full acutely aware management of the method, and also you’ll name the pictures as to precisely what you manifest in your life And better of all you’ll lastly be Grasp Of Your Area. Captain of your personal ship. Dwelling a life that’s intentionally chosen based mostly on what you need, fairly than drifting aimlessly or caught up drama and shortage. You'll be unleashed upon the world

'Upgrade' takes a unique, fun path to the end

July 14, 20223:41 PM ET

Jason Sheehan

Blake Crouch has always been a dependable storyteller.

He spins out grounded, accessible tales with an admirable internal precision no matter the genre. He can do spooky. He can do spec-fic that shades over into near-future sci fi. He does disaster and mystery and procedurals that all feel effortless. Crouch's books are fun the way a summer blockbuster is fun. And on the page, he exudes the smooth, slick confidence of someone who knows exactly where he's going and just how to get there. Even his surprises seem like clockwork. They all go off precisely when he wants them to.

His newest, Upgrade, is no different. In it, he does the dependable science-fiction trick of imagining a future altered by one significant technology and a character significantly impacted by said technology, then mushing the two of them together to see what happens next.

Here, we have a mildly dystopian near-future world where gene editing technology has advanced to a point where nearly anything is possible. Want to make all malaria-carrying mosquitos be born male so the species dies out and the disease is eradicated? Done. Want to build a dragon from crocodile and Komodo genomes? There's a guy in Vegas already working on that — special order for a client, worth millions. But because nearly anything is possible, gene editing has also been outlawed. It's too dangerous. Too many mad scientists out there. That's ingredient A.

Ingredient B is Logan Ramsay — disgraced scientist, paroled felon, currently employed by the Gene Protection Agency, the federal law enforcement branch that enforces the laws against gene editing and goes after the rogue scientists, hidden labs and dealers in proscribed genetic material. Logan's mom was Miriam Ramsay, one of the world's most brilliant geneticists, now dead by suicide. Miriam is the reason all this gene stuff is illegal now in Crouch's world. Because Miriam was working on a gene project to make rice crops more hardy and accidentally caused a global famine that killed 200 million people. Logan was working with his mother. That's why he went to prison. That's why he is where he is now.

And when we meet Logan, he's just a regular guy. Or a regular science-fiction gene cop, anyway — barfing nervously before raids, running around in a HazMat suit saying things like I fastened the magnetic straps on my inductive body armor and took my weapon out of the go-bag. There's a specificity to Crouch's language that tends to take him down cul-de-sacs of jargon and gear-porn. He drops brand names and technical specifications the way other writers use commas. He obviously learned a fair bit about genetics while researching the details of Upgrade and he never misses a chance to talk about it. But it's cool. Much of the book happens in Logan's head (we see all of it through his eyes in a tight, first-person, single-narrator set-up) and I have zero doubt that he, the character, would totally talk that way — the kind of guy who couldn't cook you a burger in the backyard without explaining, in detail, the make and model of his grill and precisely why he'd chosen that one in particular.

Needless to say, Logan doesn't stay a run-of-the-mill gene cop for long. I mean, just check the title. The book is called Upgrade. And this Logan? He's going places. First, into the basement of a house in Denver in search of a clandestine lab on a bogus tip from the world's most obvious White Collar Bad Guy (they caught him in an airport wine bar, ferchrissakes), then to a hospital quarantine room when the otherwise empty basement turns out to contain a homebrew IED. Logan lives, seems to suffer no ill effects (other than being slightly blown up), is released, goes back home to his loving wife and teenaged daughter, but soon discovers that he's quietly developing...superpowers.

OK — not superpowers superpowers, exactly. Except that yeah, basically superpowers.

It starts with being able to read faster and remember things better. Then he beats his very smart daughter at chess (something he hasn't been able to do in years). And before you know it, his bones are getting denser, his muscles are getting stronger and the gene cops — the ones he used to work for — are throwing him in supervillain jail and accusing him of self-editing.

Now stop a second. Crouch could've just gone on from this point and told a dull, standard-issue technological superman story. Dude gets magical sci-fi powers, saves/destroys the world, the end. But what's interesting about Upgrade is that Crouch doesn't do that. Instead, at exactly this moment, we're introduced to Miriam Ramsay's other child. Logan's sister, Kara.

Kara the black sheep. Kara the soldier, the loner with her Montana survivalist cabin and bag full of guns and burner phones. Kara, who is also developing powers she can't explain.

Kara is the hinge point at which Upgrade pivots, becoming a kind of modern Romulus and Remus yarn about two siblings each given remarkable powers and asked to use them to repair a world dying from starvation, war, disease and climate change. By the time they're done, Logan and Kara will both be like gods walking in a world of mere mortals — each with a very different view of what must be done to save humanity, and at what cost.

Crouch doesn't linger. He knows how to do a chase, when to blow stuff up and when to bring the house lights down. Like I said at the top, he's walked similar trails before. He knows where he's going.

But what makes Upgrade special is that his path is unique. He takes turns that are unexpected, explores some stunning vistas along the way, and even if the endpoint is a little bit obvious, watching him get there can be a lot of fun.

Bloody, grim and occasionally pedantic, but still fun.

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Scattering the ashes of a loved one

There are more than one million empty graves in the United States; graves with inscribed head stones or metal markers, but with neither a casket, a body, nor even an urn with ashes inside. You probably don't know the explanation for this strange phenomenon. July 16, 2003 will mark the fourth anniversary of the tragic deaths of John F. Kennedy, Jr., Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, and Lauren Bessette. A few weeks after the plane crash there was a memorial ceremony and their ashes were "buried at sea." That event can help us explain the empty graves. At the time of that memorial we were involved in many radio interviews relevant to our books on grief and recovery. In the interviews we were repeatedly asked about two topics by both show hosts and the listening public.

The first question was about why people are so emotionally affected by the death of someone they did not actually know. To that question, our answer was that when a famous person dies, he or she is often someone we loved or admired, which is why we are so affected. The fact is, we did "know" them, we just had never met them.

The second question was about cremation, and specifically about the disposal of ashes into the sea. We explained that the modern practice of spreading the ashes over the water originated in the Puget Sound, in the Pacific Northwest, and the poetic and romantic implications caused it to become popular. The idea sounds so wonderful, but it failed to take into account something that even primitive peoples had long understood. Our human relationships have at least three major aspects. They are: Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual. When someone dies, the physical bond is broken. We can no longer see our loved ones or touch them in the same way we did when they were alive. The emotional and spiritual bonds continue; they are altered by the death, but they go on.

The most enduring of human traditions are earthen burial or cremation and retention of ashes, which allow an extension of the physical connection in a manner which helps us and allows us to participate in on-going grief recovery actions in relationship to our loved one who has died. Most of us know that burial grounds are "sacred" in all cultures. The cemeteries and the columbaria, which house urns, also provide us with a find-able location and the explicit stimulus of the nearness of the body or ashes to remind us of that person who died. Even when we have completed our own grief recovery actions, we may use the grave or urn to help us share memories of that person with future generations who did not know them as we did. Thus the empty graves. After having scattered the ashes to the water or winds, people discovered that something was missing, the ability to relocate the remains. Many people, but not all, found it difficult to remember and talk about their loved ones without such a stimulus. This often becomes such a major problem that people actually purchase graves and head stones so they will have a specific location. The final resting place performs the function of linking us to the person who died, with a primary goal of assisting us in getting and staying emotionally complete with the person who died.

Many people set up the idea of scattering their ashes before they die. The request is put into instructions and even into wills. We are often asked if it is okay NOT to honor the requests of people who have died. That can be a very tricky question and we would never wish to give advice that would put anyone in conflict with a request made by a loved one prior to their death. What we do suggest is that it is perfectly acceptable to scatter most of the ashes, but retain a small amount in an urn, which should be kept in a safe place, for your benefit and for the benefit of family and friends or future generations who might want and need to feel a connection.

Resource page: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/blog/2003/06/scattering-ashes-loved-one

mc’s departure | obey me

summary: how the brothers would react to MC returning to the human world after a year in the devildom

contains: fluff , angst , ?!!!!&;@;&:idk

♯ LUCIFER

he’s the one to see you off, reminding you of the many things he had taught you so that you’d never forget.

his pride is much too large to admit that he will miss you to death and that he loves you dearly.

after you’re gone, he’s gone for hours at a time, holed up in his room with as much as work as he can take on.

he overworks himself with the intention of getting rid of the heavy emotion on his heart.

everything reminds you of him, even the paper clip on his desk that you had once found under his bed.

he gets easily irritable, feeling rather empty now that you’ve gone and left him alone in this now quiet house.

barely leaves his room, only works.

never cries but gets quite emotional when he finds a belonging you left behind.

♯ MAMMON

he cried every single night up until your departure but never showed you that side of him once

after you left, he cried non-stop, not caring if he looked like a cry baby in front of his brother’s who watched him with pitiful eyes.

once his eyes dried up, he soon never returned home as he partied all day and night.

he forced himself to attend parties after parties in order to forget about you.

it never works because everything reminds him of you.

sometimes he sits in his car and just stares into space, wondering what you’re doing now that you’re back on earth.

literally cannot stand the mention of you or your name or he may break down.

pretends to be okay but can’t go a day without getting upset about your absence.

money soon becomes pointless when he realizes no amount of cash will bring you back to the house of lamentation.

♯ LEVIATHAN

curled up in his bath tub and cried himself to sleep.

stopped leaving his room in general, continuously playing games all day and night.

couldn’t look at his ruri-chan figures because they somehow reminded him of you and how much you used to admire them with him.

every inch of his room has your touch on it and it makes his heart ache painfully.

struggles to attend online school but manages to make it through the day by zoning out in class.

claims he doesn’t care about a normie like you but genuinely misses you

sends you messages, forgetting you can no longer contact him without your D.D.D

writes about how much he misses you on his blog fully aware you’ll never see it.

♯ SATAN

reading. that’s all he does.

he hides in his room and reads every single book he has stacked up along his room, even rereading them if he finished everything.

uses books to get his mind off of you—or more so the lack of you.

will sometimes get excited about a stray cat he sees but stops himself when he realizes he can’t tell you because you aren’t here.

gets angry. a lot.

the smallest things set him off and he can longer feign a smile when he hears your name or anything related to you.

he misses you so much that he wants to tear out his hair and rip apart all these book page by page.

his room is in shambles and he can’t seem to think straight anymore.

♯ ASMODEUS

loses his interest in everything.

forgets his skin care routine and lets himself go without caring about it.

forces himself to go to parties and tries to sleep with someone to feel better but when it fails, he stops sleeping around in general.

like mammon, he doesn’t come home often to avoid seeing the house he had lived in with you happily.

cannot forget about you no matter what he does, and that frustrates him the most.

wishes he had done something to stop you or at least slept beside you one last time.

neglects himself for a while.

♯ BEELZEBUB

poor bby isn’t hungry for once.

can’t seem to eat now that you’re not sitting beside him, giggling about something he had said.

spends a lot of his time doing weight training and exercising to get his mind off of you.

misses all the meals you used to make on the nights you were in charge of cooking.

sometimes forgets you’re not around whenever he’s about to go downstairs to eat dinner.

clings to belphie in hopes to fill the gap in his heart.

accidentally broke down your room door in an angry fit when your absence finally set in.

♯ BELPHEGOR

either he sleeps even more or somehow gets less sleep.

no matter what, he feels sluggish and blank.

locks himself in the attic, almost as if he was never released in the first place.

even though he hated humans, your absence affected him the most after he had grown to love you as a human.

nearly went demon mode on diavolo when he found out that you were being sent back to the human world.

partially wishes he never met you but cherishes his memories with you too much to ever wish for that wholeheartedly.

sleeps in your bed often to hold onto your lingering scent that was fading quickly.

complains to beel that you were nothing but a stupid human who turns their backs on demons like them, but he never means anything he says.

“Why is it so quiet in here?” Diavolo asks as he opens the front door of the House of Lamentation with Barbatos at his side. The man’s golden eyes scanned the entry hall, noticing how it was so eerily dark and quiet that it almost felt like something out of a horror movie. It felt like no one had lived here in over two thousand years. “Hello?”

Upon receiving message from Diavolo, everyone had exited their rooms for the first time in a while, looking like they were dragged through the mud. The state they were in made Diavolo jump with surprise, shocked to find that even Lucifer looked like he was ill. “What happened to you guys?!”

“What is it that you need, Lord Diavolo?” Lucifer asked as he ran a hand through his hair to compose himself a bit in front of the red haired man. “If is nothing important, may I kindly ask you to leave and return another time?”

Diavolo sighed, shaking his head lightly as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know what’s up with you guys, but I brought everyone’s favorite person along with me so sing your praises now!”

Mammon huffed, “If ya’ talking about that butler of yours, ain’t nobody care right now! We got bigger things to worry about!”

Barbatos simply smiled, taking no offense to the sly insult thrown his way.

Diavolo cocked a brow in confusion. “What? Of course not! It’s-“

The person stepped out from behind Diavolo, catching the attention of every single male in the room. The seven brother’s choked, staring at the one person they had longed for these past few days.

“[y/n]!” They shouted in unison, practically flying down the stairs to get to you. Mammon was the first to reach you, wrapping his arms around your entire body as he tackled you to the floor. The other brother’s climbed on top of you two, hugging you so tightly that you feared this would be where you’d die. “You’re back!”

Diavolo chuckled boisterously. “This is amusing! You lot are acting like you didn’t know they’d return today!” His laugh came to an abrupt stop when he saw the flat expressions coming from each and every brother. “Oh- Did I not inform you?”

“Obviously you didn’t.” Belphegor scoffed with a roll of the eyes, burying his face in the crook of your neck to inhale your scent. “[y/n]...”

“Ya can’t ever leave again! I’ll seriously get angry at ya if this happens again! Ya either go to the human world with me or ya don’t go at all!” Mammon snapped, cupping your cheeks while getting dangerously close to your face to yell at you.

“I’ll severely punish you if you ever leave this manor without giving me a heads up as to where you’re off to. You’re not just an exchange student anymore. You’re special.” Lucifer explained, a panicked glint in his tired eyes as he reached out to pat your head gently with his gloved hand.

Satan sighed, pressing his forehead against your back. “If you leave again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to control my emotions, so don’t leave.”

The avatar of lust whined loudly, “my beautiful self can’t handle a life without you! Don’t ever go anywhere without me again!” He clutched onto her waist tightly.

“Don’t... Don’t go anywhere.” Leviathan said with a sad frown on his lips as he held your hand, bringing it up to rest against his cheek. “It’s so empty without you.”

“Let’s eat dinner together, [y/n].” Beel suggested, his voice full of emotions as he drooled at the thought of dinner with you.

A million emotions ran through your veins as you sat there, basking in the warmth of their touch. It was overwhelming to receive so much love all at once but it was amazing.

A smile slowly crept onto your lips as you leaned into their touch, enjoying the way they clung to you as if you’d disappear any moment now. “I missed you guys, too.”

“What a lovely reunion!” Diavolo exclaimed happily, snapping a view blurry photos on his D.D.D to send to the group chat later.

After the heartfelt moment, they quickly disappeared upstairs to fix up their appearance before rushing downstairs to the kitchen where you stood. They clung to you like bugs to a light, hounding you about your sudden departure, only to find out that you had gone up there with Diavolo and Barbatos to help the man experience human world activities he had never gotten to try before. Diavolo was sure he had told them that but seeing as they were genuinely distressed, he assumed the message never reached.

Even though they were beyond pissed with Diavolo and his carelessness, they were just glad you were back. Them being here with you really was their idea of a perfect life.

a/n: UH YEA K GOODNIGHT