#why can’t gay people ever be happy
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only day ever i can post this.
#the last of us#oh my god#why can’t gay people ever be happy#i love the last of us#bella ramsey#let gay people be happy#this episode killed me#this hurts#in pain#august 29#2023#OWWW
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Crimson rivers chapter 28 spoilers
I CANT OMG JUST UGH
#marauders#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#gay people can’t ever be happy istg#crimson rivers#angst is wild#sobbing#tear my heart out why don’t you zar
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Even if Merlin WAS still on Netflix, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to rewatch because of the pain it has caused me. I read Merthur fanfics and watch compilations and bloopers from the show to ease the pain and it STILL HURTS
#what the fuck#I hate it when people are doomed by the narrative#why can’t gay people ever be happy fuck me#they should’ve let me write the last season I would have done Merthur Justice#bbc merlin#merlin#merthur#cal’s thoughts tag
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You know how I process fictional characters dying? I don’t! I avoid all of it, I haven’t watched avengers endgame or infinity war because I’m not ready! Last season of Villanelle? Nope, haven’t watched it I’m not ready! Season two of Our flag means death? You guessed it, I haven’t watched it because i can handle my emotions! Do I know what happens? Yes! I read it over and over again in fanfiction but I’m not fucking ready to watch it happen because that means my brain will accept it!
#ofmd season 2#villanelle#marvel#infinity war#avengers endgame#the last season of hannibal? you bet I haven’t seen it#doctor who? I struggle to watch it when new episodes come out because nothing good ever happens baby!#ofmd fandom#I know it irrational!#I can’t accept that the characters I love will never be happy because why would gay people deserve nice things?#if I don’t watch it happen I can stay ignorant to the facts#oh that character died? mmmm no he didn’t#I haven’t seen it happen
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ASOIAF POV characters ranked by how good of a guest judge they would be on drag race (definitive ranking)
24. Arys oakheart. spectacularly bad in a way that would also be bad TV because he simply would not know what to do. and would be icky about it.
23. Ned stark. canonically gets suspicious of people just because they are gender nonconforming.
22. Aeron greyjoy. people are going to wonder why i put him as Victarion on this list. this is because I think victarion has a better personality for reality TV.
21. Victarion greyjoy. good TV, would win reverse GLAAD award for most homophobic event on television.
20. Areo hotah. too stoic.
19. Quentyn. little nerd in over his head. if Barristan Selmy is telling you that you are not serving hard enough it’s already over.
18. Barristan selmy. a #ally for revealing that egg legalized gay marriage for his kid daeron and being happy about it, but does not have a lot else going for him. would probably say everyone looks nice
17. Bran. seven.
16. Joncon. IS gay, but does not seem like he’s super into all that.
15. Jon. Would probably awaken something in him.
14. Jaime. does not serve cunt, is one.
13. Brienne. Listen she’s trying her best okay.
12. Samwell Tarly. Would DEFINITELY awaken something in him. too busy blushing and telling everyone they look great to be an actual judge.
11. Arya. One thing about her is she WILL be finding people and she WILL be talking to ALL of them which makes her a great TV personality, but i think she would get bored.
10. Davos. Can’t explain this one i just think he would be down.
9. Cat. Serves, afraid to FULLY serve. Ally.
8. Asha. gets off on being mean to pretty boys so you know she is having a great time.
7. Dany. what can i say she’s a star.
6. Tyrion. definitely has the personality for it.
5. Cersei. is a fascist but showing up in full rhaegar eleganza to her husband who she murdered’s funeral. cuntress. You KNOW she would kill it.
4. Arianne. Definitely the first person you would think to ask to guest judge and for good reason.
3. Sansa. 13 year old fashion icon who loves gay people so much. Is so into it the whole time. meticulous notes.
2. Theon. could be the greatest to do it if he could ever get over himself but as it stands simultaneously knocks it out of the park and is a total train wreck. extremely fun to watch.
1. Melisandre. Serves like her life depends on it which she thinks it literally does. Obsessed with appearances and performances. off putting antagonistic cryptic and weird. fantastic TV.
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“Good morning, Robs.” Steve nods to Robin’s sprawled figure on their couch.
“Good morning, dingus.” Robin looks up at Steve with a sleepy smile into her morning coffee.
“How was your date last night?” Steve makes a cup of coffee and walks over to the couch. He lifts Robin's legs and lays them across his lap as he settles into the worn-down furniture.
“Oh! It was so good.” Robin perks up. “God, it’s so nice to actually know other gay people in the city and have safe places to go, unlike Hawkins. Violet was so sweet, and she took us to the little lesbian bar on 4th, and we just talked and drank for hours! I felt bad at first about missing movie night with you and Eddie, but I’m sorry, babes, but it was worth it!”
Steve smiles at his platonic soulmate with as much love as he can muster. He’s so happy for her, finding herself in college, especially after the disaster that was Vickie and the post-apocalypse. Besides, he really couldn’t be mad she missed out. “I’m glad you had a good night, Birdie.”
“Steve! You have no idea! She wore this cute skirt with knee-highs, and oh god, I could see her thighs! You know how I feel about thighs.” Robin gave him a pointed look, and Steve couldn’t help but hum in agreement. Thighs were nice. “And she gave me the softest kiss while we were still inside the bar like she wasn’t embarrassed by all my rambling and thinking out loud. Which she said she thought was cute, after I said that out loud. And Steve, I need to tell you about the less soft kisses we had later, but first, I have a question.”
Steve laughed lightly at Robin's antics. She had no idea the power she had. It was hard not to fall in love with her, platonically or romantically. “Sure, Robs. Shoot.” Steve took a sip of his coffee, not thinking much of it.
Robin ever so calmly stated, “Why do you have a hickey on your neck?”
Steve choked on his coffee. He had to lean forward to stop himself from going blue. Robin pushed herself up and pats his back. Steve barely managed out a spluttered out, “What?”
Robin put down her coffee and gave him a kind but pointed look. “The giant ass hickey on your neck. When did you get that.”
“I do not have a hickey on my neck!” Steve’s voice went a pitch higher than normal, not particularly helping his case.
Robin gave him a ‘seriously’ face before she reached over and dug her fingers into the bruise on his neck.
“Owww!” Steve slapped her hand away.
“Want to explain what that is then, Steven.”
Steve scrunched his face up, “Ew, don’t call me Steven.”
“Stop avoiding the question. Why do you have a hickey? As far as I’m concerned, I’m the one who went on a date last night. You only had Eddie over for movie—“ A look of realization crossed Robin’s face before it broke out into pure glee. “No! You didn’t!”
Steve spluttered again, despite the coffee being nowhere near him. “I didn’t do anything!” He continued to deny it.
“Oh you did! You finally did! You made out with Eddie!”
Steve knew it was useless to fight her on it, but he couldn’t help it. He was stubborn. “Ssshh, nothing happened. It’s just a bruise. Stop making this bigger than it is.”
Robin cackled, “Oh Steve, I know I should be mad you’re trying to lie right now. But I can’t be; I’m just too happy. First Violet, and now this? This is the happiest, gayest day of my life!”
Steve put his head in his hands, no longer denying.
“Besides, why are you shushing me? It’s not like there is anyone else here…” Robin trailed off, and Steve could tell the moment she put it all together. If he thought she looked happy before, now she looked straight up devious. “…Oh my god! Steve! Is he in your bed? Is he naked?” Robin was shaking Steve with excitement. At this rate, he would get a concussion from his brain being smacked around his skull.
“…no.” Steve said shyly as images of the night before came to his mind.
The boring movie. Eddie’s head thrown back at Steve’s jokes. The leaning together. Eddie’s grip on Steve’s thigh. The nose brush. The crash of lips. The tearing off of clothes. The stumbling to the bedroom. The moans.
Now is not the time to get a boner. Not while his best friend is still shaking the shit out of him.
“No? Really, so if I go into your room right now, I won’t find Eddie in it?” Robin stared at him. They both got completely still. It was as if that weird telepathy thing the kids always think they have, was actually true. Because Steve can sense it. Can sense that Robin was going to make a break for the door.
She took off in a dash, but Steve was quicker. He tackles her to the ground with a loud ‘oof’. “Get off me, dingus! I need to know!”
Steve tried to pin her to the ground, but she was freakishly strong and yanked him by the hair, “No, Robin, let me have some privacy!”
They tumble around for a few minutes, yelling and scrapping at each other. Neither of them truly got the upper hand. Then suddenly, a door opens. Both Robin and Steve’s heads snap up in the direction of footsteps approaching them.
Then, in front of them, is Eddie in only boxers covered from head to thigh in hickies. “I always forget you two are morning people.” Eddie rubbed the early hours out of his eyes, leaned down to place a kiss on top of Steve’s head, and made his way into the kitchen.
A blush makes its way to Steve’s face but he knows he’s sporting a goofy smile.
“Wow, Dingus. You really marked your territory.” Robin snorts below him. Then Robin leaned over to the side to peek at Eddie’s back. “Is that hickey in the shape of a heart?!”
Steve leapt off of Robin and into the safety of the kitchen, behind the said bruised back.
“So much for soft mornings with you and Robs.” Eddie giggles into his coffee.
Steve just huffed a laugh into the crease between Eddie’s spine and shoulder.
***
happy pride! wanted something soft to get me back in the groove of writing and the start to my pride month pieces.
#steddie#platonic stobin#just three goofballs figuring out life#why Eddie doesn't pay rent is beyond robin cause dude practically lives there anyway#domestic fluff#my writing#steve harrington#robin buckley#eddie munson#the three muskequeers#stranger things#kisses#bisexual steve harrington#gay eddie munson#lesbian bisexual solidarity
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Didn’t he try to get his gay employee to marry a woman lol? I love him, he was a sweet, kind man, but also old and a lifelong Republican.
Most American voters register with one of the two major political parties. I don't know why Fred Rogers registered as a Republican, but what Republicans stood for in the 1950's & 1960's is very different from how we think of that party today. According to his wife, Fred was "very independent in the way he voted."
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It is true that Fred Rogers encouraged a gay employee to marry a woman. I think it's an unfortunate part of his history, but I think it's helpful to fill in more of the story.
Francois Clemmons was hired by Fred Rogers to be the first Black person to have a recurring role on children’s television. He would be Officer Clemmons on the show Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, and he kept that roll for 25 years.
In his memoir, Officer Clemmons, Franc shares that one day in 1968, he was called into Fred’s office at the studio.
“Franc, we’ve come to love you here in the Neighborhood. You have talents and gifts that set you apart and above the crowd, and we want to ensure your place with us. Someone, we’re not able to say who, has informed us that you were seen at the local gay bar downtown with a buddy from school. Now I want you to know, Franc, that if you’re gay, it doesn’t matter to me at all. Whatever you say and do is fine with me, but if you’re going to be on the show, as an important member of the Neighborhood, you can’t be ‘out’ as gay. People must not know. … Many of the wrong people will get the worst idea, and we don’t want them thinking and talking about you like that. If those people put up enough fuss, then I couldn’t have you on the program. It’s not an issue for me. I don’t think you’re less of a person. I don’t think you’re immoral.”
Clemmons began to sob because he could only have the job only if he stayed in the closet.
If it had been known a gay man was a regular part of a children's show, it would've been cancelled. Remember, this is pre-Stonewall.
“You can have it all if you can keep that part of it out of the limelight. Have you ever thought of getting married? People do make some compromises in life.”
Francois Clemmons married a woman in 1968. In 1974 they divorced and Franc began living as an openly gay man.
Fred Rogers changed his advice, urging Clemmons to find a gay man he was happy with. He also stopped asking Clemmons to remain in the closet, and he warmly welcomed Clemmons' gay friends whenever they visited the television set. I've read that this change came from Fred getting to know and becoming friends with gay people.
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Having a Black man as a police officer on the show was making a statement in support of Civil Rights. The most iconic encounter between Officer Clemmons and Mr. Rogers on the television show occurred in 1969.
At a time when many community pools were strictly segregated, Mr. Rogers invited Officer Clemmons to join him and cool his feet in a plastic wading pool. As Officer Clemmons was getting out of the pool, Mr. Rogers helped him dry his feet.
This exemplified the message that all people are equal and valued and loved
The core values of the television show were: Love your neighbor as yourself, be kind, say “I'm sorry,” smile, accept people and help them grow, be forgiving, see each day as a new chance to be happy, positive and kind. The show talked about grief, divorce, race issues and disability.
Fred Rogers' character regularly said, “there's no person in the whole world just like you” and “I like you just the way you are.” It was an example of radical acceptance.
In addition to Franc Clemmons, John Reardon is another openly gay man who regularly appeared on Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, so it seems Fred Rogers personally didn't have an issue with gay people, but having them be open on the show was not something possible at that time. I'm sad that an openly gay character never occurred on the show.
Fred Rogers shared that evangelicals would sometimes write to him asking him to condemn homosexuality, and he never would, instead saying he — and God — loved everyone just as they were. Since 1967, Fred and his wife worshipped at Pittsburgh’s Sixth Avenue Presbyterian Church which was a diverse, progressive church where women were equal, social justice was the theme, and since the 1960's has engaged in a ministry to gay people and was the first Presbyterian church to ordain gays & lesbians.
While he was not a public advocate for gay rights, his message of unconditional acceptance didn't exclude any genders, orientations or races.
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Aftermath of the Homo-Bomb (Andrew and Mateo)
(Make sure to read the ➡️ Prologue ⬅️ first!)
Wavell sat across from the happy gay couple who’d gleefully let him into their home. They were practically wrapped around each other on the couch, smiling and giggling as they subtly groped one another. It was as if they were trying to be civil but just couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Not that Wavell minded, if anything he thought it was cute. It reminded him of the way he was with Dane most of the time. So giddy and happy to be in the other’s company.
“Sorry uhh… what did you say you were here for?” The man in the red shirt asked with a smile, not remembering why exactly they’d let this stranger into their house.
“Well I was hoping I could ask the pair of you a few questions regarding the strange event that took place in this town recently. From what I know, a vast number of people here have been affected by some otherworldly power and my colleague and I have been gathering data on those who’ve experienced it. So what I wanna know is, have either of you been affected?” Wavell asked but of course he already knew the answer judging by the aura of magic emanating from the couple.
The two men looked at each other and giggled before holding hands. “Ohhh yeah. Big time.” The other man in the black shirt replied. “I still can’t believe it but honestly I think we’re happier than we’ve ever been!” He boasted before leaning in and giving his boyfriend a kiss.
Wavell smiled softly. “It would seem that way.” He watched as the pair stared at one another lovingly, practically undressing themselves with their eyes. “Well I’d be delighted if you could tell me all about it.” He reached inside his suit jacket and pulled out a note pad and pen before waving them about comedically. “My name is Mr Wavell by the way. And you are?…”
The man in the red shirt answered first. “My names Andrea-” He stopped rather suddenly, chuckling a little. “Sorry, I mean Andrew. Andrew Gardener” He corrected.
The other man seemed just as amused by the slip up. “And I’m Mateo Ramos.” He added.
Wavell quickly scribbled down the names of the two men. “Andrew and Mateo. Such wonderful names for an equally handsome couple” he complimented, causing the two men to blush. After which he went through the usual routine of questions. Asking their ages, what they do for work and what types of people they consider themselves to be. He quickly found out that they were both the same age, 28 years old, with Andrew being about 3 months older. As for jobs, Andrew explained how he worked a simple office job not far away while Mateo worked as a model and personal trainer. When asked how they’d describe themselves, Andrew seemed to think of himself as a quiet but hard working and considerate person while Mateo believed himself to be confident, outspoken and always driven towards his next goal. All stuff Wavell seemed happy to write down.
“Now tell me. What’s your story. How did the pair of you get affected by strange event that’s taken hold of this town?” Wavell finally asked, eager to know if these two were your average homo-bomb case of straights gone gay or if one or both of them were somehow anomalies.
Andrew and Mateo gave each other a knowing look look before Andrew decided to speak up. “Well you see, we were actually already a couple before this but we weren’t a gay couple…”
———
Night of the Homo-Bomb
After a long day of work, Mateo and his girlfriend Andrea had come home at last. Mateo had been fully booked for the day with clients to train at the gym while Andrea had been working non-stop at the office. Needless to say they were both happy to get home and chill out in each other’s company.
As they ate dinner together, Andrea went on to tell Mateo about her day. Telling him about how they’d been considering people for promotions at work recently so she’d been working extra hard to get one. She was already one of the most efficient workers amongst her peers anyway so she was hoping she’d have it in the bag. However for some reason they kept putting the men in her office at the top of the consideration even if they were objectively worse at the job than she was! She loved her colleagues but the blatant sexism her bosses were showing had her wanting to rip her hair out! She couldn’t help wishing she were a man like Mateo, maybe then she wouldn’t be undermined and under appreciated.
Mateo sympathised with his girlfriend. He knew how hard she worked and how she deserved a promotion more than anyone in that office. It was just a shame the higher ups were refusing to see that. All he could was console her while offering her the encouragement to keep being amazing until her bosses were forced to recognise her. Hearing that really seemed to put a smile on Andrea’s face,
Before they knew the couple were falling into bed together that night, kissing and holding each other close. It wasn’t long before they were fully nude and engaging in a little foreplay before Mateo got his cock lined up with Andrea’s entrance. The room filled with lustful moans as he made the plunge inside. Little did the two of them know, this was the last time they’d ever get to experience this type of sex…
Once both parties were satisfied they got themselves cleaned up and rolled back into bed, now completely exhausted. It wasn’t long before both Andrea and Mateo found themselves steadily drifting off to sleep and as Andrea's eyes fluttered shut, she couldn’t help wondering if her life would’ve been easier had she just been born a man instead.
Soon after the couple were fast asleep and holding one another close. Mateo’s large manly body pressed against Andrea’s smaller feminine one. Little were they aware however that a certain warlock and his dashing boyfriend were hovering above the town as they slept. Not long after that very same warlock unleashed a magic explosion on the town of which he deemed ‘The Homo-Bomb’. A powerful mass of magical energy designed to explode into a mist turning any straight man within its radius completely gay. And that’s exactly what it set out to do.
The purple mist surged across town, infecting many a man in its wake with its power and changing them for the better as the warlock deemed it. Naturally it didn’t take the magical fog very long to seep its way into Mateo and Andrea’s bedroom as well.
As expected the fog surged into Mateo’s body first after swiftly identifying him as a straight man. Pushing inside his muscular body through any entrance it could find. His mouth, his nose… his asshole. Infiltrating his body as efficiently as possible. Immediately his cock jumped up, hard as a rock once again, as the magic began twisting his desires. Any attraction he would’ve had towards women was morphed into an attraction to men. Filling his head with desires for big pecs, muscle butts and fat cocks. Not stopping until Mateo was completely and utterly homosexual with his current dream turning to that of a sex dream with all kinds of hunks surrounding and fucking him.
Normally the mist wouldn’t have a reason to stick around. The only other person in the house was Andrea and the warlock hadn’t programmed it to do anything women. Yet for some reason the magical fog was drawn towards her as well as it connected with her thoughts. Her wish to be a man. And so the fog did something it wasn’t programmed to do and entered the body of a straight woman…
Like Mateo, the mist coursed into her from every entrance it could until her body was filled with enough magic to begin some kind of transformation. Andrea couldn’t help tossing and turning as her body lit up with pleasure just as her boyfriends had before. Only it wasn’t her sexual desires that were going to change, it was her body.
Strangely enough the transformation began with her head. The likes of her long blonde hair receding significantly into a shorter, cropped cut before darkening to a brown hue. The soft shape of her face began to fade in favour of a sharper look that was most visible in her chin and jawline as they grew wider and more pronounced. Her eyes on the other hand became less feminine and more deepest while her eyebrows thickened and her nose broadened. Even her somewhat thin lips from before found themselves plumping up into lips that anyone would be lucky to kiss, only now they were being surrounded by a thick stubble that’d quickly sprouted across her face. As the last of her features readjusted themselves, Andrea’s head had transformed completely into that of a man. An odd contrast to her still womanly body for sure. But it wouldn’t remain that way for long.
Once she had the face of a man, the transformation spread further down her body starting with her neck. It thickened quite noticeably as a lump in her throat made itself visible. Almost immediately her feminine moans turned to masculine grunts due to the sudden dropping of her vocal cords until it settled on a much deep commanding resonance.
Those same masculine groans would only continue to be heard as Andrea’s traps and shoulders began to bulge. Growing thicker and broader alongside her upper back. Already she was gaining that wide upper body shape that most men strived for which only looked more impressive as her chest started to develop. Her modest breasts shrunk down to almost nothing while her nipples became far less pronounced. Her chest didn’t stay small for longer however as moments after it began growing again, only this time with powerful muscle. Swelling into two powerful pecs that would demand attention from anyone that laid eyes on them. Looking like swollen pillows of muscle you could fall asleep on that could become hard as a rock with a single flex. While her waist reformed into a more masculine shape, her arms were already well on their way as well.
After her back and shoulders had grown to such a wide degree with powerful muscle, her still dainty arms and hands looked very strange. However they wouldn’t look out of place for long as veins ran along them, thick and pulsing. She grumbled in her sleep as her arms began pumping themselves up, her tiny hands growing into meaty calloused mits that were made for picking up heavy weights at the gym. All the while, biceps and triceps burgeoning with new size and muscle, gaining the kind of explosive strength Andrea could only have dreamed of! Soon enough her biceps and forearms were almost as big as her boyfriends, so thick and juicy. She could probably curl at least four times the weight she could before, maybe even more! With massive guns like those anyone would think twice before messing with her now, lest they want a taste of just how powerful her manly arms were.
With that Andrea’s whole upper half was all man. Huge back, giant arms, massive pecs. She was already becoming quite the specimen but of course her transformation wasn’t done just yet with her lower half still looking incredibly feminine. But that would be fixed soon enough.
The next target on the magic’s hit list was Andrea’s ass. She’d never been all that gifted in the rear area having always had a rather small butt. Or at least she did until now. When the transformation spread to her backside she couldn’t help clenching her ass tight while it changed. Before long it lost its feminine in favour of a more masculine form. But that wasn’t all as even after obtaining a man’s butt, it decided to grow like the rest of her body had so far. Fattening with muscle that caused her body to rise up a little until she finally adorned the kind of big round bubble butt you’d normally see on pro football players. Seems like she’d have to deal with people always wanting to walk behind her from now on just to watch her thick man butt jiggle with every step.
But with that one of the biggest changes was finally on the horizon. Andrea couldn’t help letting out a deep murmur in her sleep as her ovaries began twisting and pulling inside her. It was as if someone had stuck their hands inside her and was trying to pull them out somehow… and they succeeded. On their journey down her ovaries had morphed into a fat pair of testicles, protected by a large ball sack that’d pushed its way out and now sat comfortably between her legs as her pussy quickly began sealing up behind it. Just before it could finish however, a small fleshy tip pressed its way through. The small sensitive piece of flesh soon found itself growing at an alarming speed until it was fully recognisable as none other than a fat cock. It flopped and bucked around between Andrea’s legs as it proceeded to grow to its full soft length of five inches before continuing to grow via an erection. The bedsheets soon began to tent as her cock grew harder and harder by the second until it reached its full length of seven and a half inches with some hefty girth to go with it. For most men having a dick that big would be considered a dream come true on its own, not to mention the cum factory that was her fat bull nuts already churning plenty of semen.
With Andrea’s new manhood already locked and loaded, there was only one part of her body left. Her legs. And the very first thing they did upon begging touched by the magic was lengthen, increasing her height substantially. Her torso had already stretched taller whilst it was packing on muscle earlier so her total height by now must’ve been around 6’2, much greater than her former 5’7. But of course it wouldn’t stop there. Andrea couldn’t stop herself from mindlessly bucking her hips in her sleep, rubbing her erection against the bedsheets while her legs began to bulk up. Quads and hamstrings, all the muscles that made up her thighs, flexing involuntarily as with every flex they packed on more and more muscle. Becoming thicker by the second to help give her new balls plenty of protection. It was a good thing she slept naked as any underwear she’d have been wearing would’ve been easily torn apart by thighs as massive as hers were now. The kind of muscle thighs most people would beg to have their head between just so they can be pressed between their thickness and feel their power wrapping them up. Thankfully her calves also received a similar treatment, bulking up considerably with new mass which served to help round out her manly body. All that was left was for her dainty feet to expand and that’s exactly what they did, growing into huge size 13 men’s feet. There’s no way she’d be able to walk into a room from now on without someone noticing her thunderous footsteps.
With that a few final touches spread their way across Andrea’s body. Most notably a light dusting of body hair that covered her chest and legs to give her that extra sense of masculinity. And with Andrea’s transformation came to close with the magic believing it’d done its job in creating another homosexual man. Yet she still refused to wake from her deep slumber, instead beginning to toss and turn in bed with her hard cock bouncing all over the place until finally she found herself spooning Mateo. A small lustful grin spread across her face as she managed to slide her cock between her boyfriend's ass cheeks before subconsciously thrusting her cock back and forth between them. With how pumped she was already after such a transformation, it didn’t take long before Andrea was already blowing her first load all over Mateo’s back with a dumb satisfied smile all over her manly face.
The couple would certainly have quite the surprise waiting for them when they woke up the next morning…
———
“So you’re telling me that you went to sleep as a happy straight couple and by the time you woke up, Andrea had become Andrew and Mateo suddenly found he was into men now instead?” Wavell clarified while making notes.
“That’s pretty much it. Everything was normal when we went to bed but when we woke up, this is how things were.” Mateo confirmed, looking over at his once girlfriend now turned handsome boyfriend.
“I don’t even remember turning into a man honestly.” Andrew admitted as he ran a hand down his muscled torso. “I guess I slept through it somehow because when I woke up I was already a total hunk! I’m even wearing some of Mateo’s clothes because there was no way in hell any of mine were gonna fit.”
Wavell nodded. “Well I have to say this is certainly interesting. Mateo, you seem to have been affected in the same way as most other men in town. By far the most common theme has been straight men somehow turning gay.” He then turned to Andrew. “You on the other hand are much a different case. For a start hardly any women in town were affected at all so the fact that you were is already an anomaly. But unlike most men, you didn’t experience a change in sexuality but rather a physical transformation! I’ve come across a few others who’ve undergone things like muscle growth, age progression and more but you’re the first one I’ve seen to undergo a complete sex change from woman to man! It’s both incredible and perplexing…”
Andrew smiled. “Oh it’s definitely incredible alright.” He flexed a bicep before giving one of his pecs a squeeze through his shirt. “Being a man feels better than I could ever have imagined! Before I always felt weak and frail but now I’m just so huge and powerful! It’s fucking great! I can practically feel the testosterone flowing through me! Honestly I don’t even care how it happened, I’m just grateful that it did because I never want to go back!” He claimed boldly as one of his hands slid down towards his crotch before giving it a hefty squeeze. “I don’t have to deal with boobs, periods or getting pregnant anymore. Plus now that I’ve got this manly body and a dick between my legs, I can finally see what all this male privilege stuff is about!” He smirked. “Once everyone at work sees how I’ve changed, maybe those sexist old men at the top will finally consider me for a promotion now that I’ve got a pair of balls in my pants.”
Wavell seemed rather amused by the former woman’s response. “So I take it you’re happy with your new body Andrew?” He chuckled. “That said, might I ask what your favourite part of it is?”
Andrew thought about it for a moment, looking down at himself. “God I don’t know. There’s so many things I love about it. My deep new voice is one. I just love how masculine it sounds. My pecs feel amazing as well. One of the first things I did after waking up was trying to bounce them and I got the hang of it pretty quick.” He flexed his pecs a little through his shirt gleefully. “But fuck these arms feel amazing. The way my biceps bulge anytime I move them is just intoxicating. They’re just so massive and flexing them makes me feel like I'm invincible! Honestly I could go on about every part of my body but I’ve gotta say, as predictable as it sounds, I think my favourite part has got to be this new cock.” He admitted as the very manhood he spoke of began chubbing up a little in his pants. “I was a little nervous to touch it at first because it was so weird and different from what I’m used to but after I got in the shower for the first time, I couldn’t help touching it. It’s crazy how it can go from being so soft and floppy to hard and firm at just the slightest stimulation. And I have to admit, cradling my balls felt pretty good as well.” His face went a little red, feeling as though he might’ve overshared a little.
“Well I’m glad to hear you seem so comfortable with your new body already. Not everyone would adjust to such a change so fast.” Wavell shifted a little in his seat, trying to hide his own erection slowly growing in his suit pants “Now this next question might seem a tad personal but I’m curious to know, have you masturbated or had sex since your change Andrew?”
The new man blushed a little. He might’ve been openly grabbing his crotch a moment ago but a question like that had certainly caught him a little off guard. And yet for some reason he almost felt compelled to give this man an answer. “Well I… might’ve touched my dick a little too much while I was in the shower. It just felt so good, you know. Having a cock is so different to a vagina. It’s like once it gets hard it’s nearly impossible to ignore. I just kept touching and stroking it until… I came.” He reflected back on the memory, remembering just how incredible it’d felt when his dick spasmed and released ropes of hot cum all over the shower wall. “I also think I came in my sleep after becoming a man. When we woke up I was spooning Mateo and he said his back felt all sticky…”
“So you’ve experienced a male orgasm but… you haven’t tried gay sex is that right?”
Before Andrew could answer, Mateo chirped in. “No we haven’t. We thought about it a lot after waking up that morning but I’ve never had sex with a man before and Andrew has never had sex as a man before so the thought of it has been sort of intimidating for the both of us. It feels like we’re virgins all over again.”
“Ahhhh I see. So what you’re saying is you want to have sex but the idea of having sex as two men scares you. I can understand that. Sometimes new and unfamiliar things can be scary but don’t worry, I can help you with it.” Wavell got up from his chair and made his way over to the couple across from him.
“Wait, what do you mea-” Andrew was cut off as Wavell placed a glowing hand on both his and Mateo’s head. Their eyes began to glow a bright purple just like Wavell’s as the warlock's magic surged into them. Suddenly their brains began to swarm with a mass of brand new knowledge on gay sex. It was as if every trick in the book for two men to pleasure one another was suddenly revealed to them. At the same time Wavell made sure to elevate their libido’s to an almost unbearable level, causing both men to groan out as their cocks shot up to full length and bulged against their pants in an obscene and uncontrollable fashion.
With that Wavell took a step back, releasing them from his magic. “So boys? How do you feel now?” He asked, smirking inwardly as he watched the two hunks struggling to comprehend what the magical being before them had just done.
“I… I feel…” Andrew struggled to get a word out as his cock bucked as it strained against his pants, demanding attention. “I… feel like… I need… TO FUCK!” He shouted as thoughts of nothing but sex, dick and ass clouded his mind.
“Mmmmmm god… me too! Need to FUUUCKK!!” Grumbled Mateo who was having a similar issue of not being able to think of anything that wasn’t related to sex as he groped his rock hard cock through his pants. In an instant Mateo jumped on top of Andrew, grinning down at him lustfully as his boyfriend returned the same look. Their faces slowly drifted closer and closer as the gap between them shrunk until it closed at last with the touching of their lips. Touching softly as kissed gingerly at first but quickly their desire for one another began cracking up the intensity.
In no time the couple had jumped up from the sofa and began making out with a fiery passion. It was clear Andrew was now the taller of the two, standing a good 2 inches taller than Mateo, which was ironic considering how short he once was. As they kissed feverishly, they held each other as close as possible until the only thing separating their muscled bodies was a few layers of thin clothing. But of course that didn’t stop them from rubbing their crotches like such hot dogs as they both kept at least one hand firmly grasped on the other’s ass.
“Mmmmm… I’m gonna pound your tight fucking ass so hard with my dick.” Andrew claimed between kisses as he reached down to unbuckle his pants. Mateo in turn followed his lead and within seconds the two men allowed their throbbing cocks to flop out into the open. Andrew couldn’t help but grin maliciously as the difference between the cock sizes became painfully clear. Mateo had a rather average dick that sat around a respectable 5.5 inches hard with decent thickness. Andrews however was a whole other beast as it’d grown to a monstrous 8 or more inches with girth so thick it was bound to make anyone scream. “Guess I’m the man of the house now huh?” Andrew teased while smacking his giant dick against his boyfriend’s smaller one, causing Mateo’s face to go red as he couldn’t believe the man that used to be his girlfriend had a dick so much bigger than his! Yet at the same time he couldn’t help finding it so damn hot..,
Without another second to think, Andrew gripped the waist of Mateo’s pants and yanked them down to his knees. “Kick them off and show me your ass.” Andrew demanded like the powerful man he now was. Naturally Mateo obeyed, tossing his pants and underwear to the side before turning around and crawling onto the couch. Back arched and ass up in the air, ready to be serviced. “Fuuuck yeah that’s perfect…” Andrew grunted as he knelt down, mesmerised by the sight of his lover’s thick fuzzy ass. His face slowly drew closer to the two hairy globes until finally he pressed his face between them, finding himself in heaven as he did. After that it didn’t take long for Andrew to put some of his new knowledge to good use as he started eating out Mateo’s ass like a porn star. Digging his tongue in deep and tasting the inside of his boyfriends tight virgin hole. “Mmmphh mmmphhhh fuck… I never knew mmph… how amazing it is to eat ass! mmmmmph!”
Once Mateo’s hole was finally prepped, Andrew was eventually able to find the strength to pull his head out of the other man’s hairy ass despite wishing he could just stay there forever. Instead he got back up onto his feet before stripping off, throwing his clothes across the room. Soon enough Andrew stood naked in all his male glory with his fat monster dick standing at full attention. Not wanting to waste any time however, Andrew shuffled forwards a little before rubbing the tip of his dick against Mateo’s hungry hole. He couldn’t believe what he was about to do. He was going to penetrate another person. Something he’d never imagined being able to do. Andrew always thought he was destined to be the one getting penetrated. But now, as a thick veiny cock throbbed between his legs, he finally had the chance to be the one doing the thrusting!
With a hungry grin Andrew just couldn’t contain his lust any longer. Without a second of warning, he pressed the fat head of his cock inside Mateo’s ass causing the former straight man to bellow in a mix of pain and pleasure. That initial feeling of pressing his cock inside another person set off fireworks in Andrew’s brain. Without even thinking he lost all self control and slammed his entire 8+ incher inside his boyfriend's tight hole causing Mateo to scream a flurry of swears due to the almost unbearable feeling of having such a giant rod stuffed inside him all at once. However he was soon silenced as on instinct Andrew reached around and covered Mateo’s mouth, muffling his pained cursing.
“Be quiet and take daddy’s dick bitch.” Andrew blurted out as he slowly but surely began to pump his cock back and forth, starting with a gentle rhythm. “It might hurt now but you’ll learn to love it you little cock slut.” The dirty talk came to him so naturally like an instinct. “Fuck I love being a man…” he muttered to himself under his breath.
As this went on, Wavell was still very much present and sat in the chair across from the pair of horny men. He couldn’t help whipping out his dick and stroking it a little as he watched Andrew slowly move his hips back and forth while he found his footing. He knew he should probably stop interfering with his subjects but it was just too damn fun!
Gradually Andrew began to pick up the pace, ass clenching a little with every thrust as he got faster and faster. “Fuck fuck fuck! Mmmm yeah! I’m the only the fucks around here from now on! You got that!?” He proclaimed in a lustful haze.
“Y-yes sir… nnnrgg…” Mateo just about managed to grunt out, his asshole feeling as though it was on fire from the sudden invasion. Andrew’s giant fucking dick hurt so fucking much… So why the hell was he actually kinda enjoying it?
“Good boy.” Andrew gave Mateo’s ass hearty smack that left a red mark before gripping Mateo’s hips and drilling his cock into the hole with even more aggression than before. Thrusting back and forth in a way that almost seemed primal. Like Andrew wanted nothing more than to breed his boyfriend’s ass. “That’s it! Your thick muscle ass belongs to me now! Don’t you forget it!” He groaned while burying himself to the hilt, balls pressing against Mateo's aforementioned muscle ass.
All Mateo could do was agree and comply with everything Andrew said as if being speared on that giant dick was somehow hypnotising him into doing so. He used to be the dominant one in their relationship but now he was being pinned down and fucked into a oblivion like a submissive slut.
Neither of them knew exactly how long they fucked for. They were so horny they completely lost track of time. For Andrew all he cared about was breeding boyfriends hot ass to the point where he was jackhammering into it with such speed and strength that the decorations and furniture around the room began to shake and creek. Books and ornaments began falling off shelves and onto the floor but that wasn’t about to stop Andrew. He had one goal and one goal only and that was to fuck. He moaned out, plowing that ass with everything he had until finally his balls began to churn. “NEED TO… BREED… ASS… NRRGHHAAAAHHHHH!!!” Andrew let out the most animalistic roar of his life, the deep bass of his voice reverberating through the entire house as finally he busted a load. His fat dick practically flooding Mateo’s hole with how much cum his balls had produced.
After a couple minutes of cooling down Andrew carefully extracted his softening cock from Mateo’s backside, allowing a pool of cum to spill out from the hole as he did. “Now that was some of the best sex of my fucking life… dudes have it soooo much fucking better.” He commented while giving Mateo’s butt a playful pat. “No wonder you guys always wanna fuck like rabbits.”
Mateo could hardly even respond. His asshole was throbbing from the pain of being stretched so wide by Andrew’s dick while his own cock was still hard as a rock and ready to blow any second!
Seeing this, Andrew leaned down and planted a few kisses along the back of Mateo’s neck. “Awww I’m sorry baby. I know I got a little carried away. I thought you were exaggerating when you said dicks have minds of their own but I could barely control this thing.” Andrew smacked his soft cock, slick with cum, against Mateo’s ass cheeks a few times. “I meant what I said though…” he continued as he got up from the couch and walked around until his soft yet still fat cock was right in front of Mateo’s eyes. “From now on I’m the one that gives dick and you’re the one that takes it. Got that?” He smacked Mateo’s face with his dick a few times in a display of his new manly dominance.
“B-but Andrew… your butt… it’s so big and juicy now. You’ve gotta… let me have a go at it.” Mateo whined between heavy breaths while Andrew continued to lather his face with cum.
Andrew glanced over his shoulder at his huge new bubble ass and shrugged. “Yeah, I suppose you’ve got a point. It would be a waste to not use this thing huh?” He agreed before turning around so that his fat muscle ass was right in Mateo’s face. “Fine. If you’re good and do everything daddy says then I might let you have a go at my ass from time to time.” He didn’t even give Mateo a chance to respond before grabbing the back of his head and pressing it between his colossal ass cheeks, smothering his newly submissive boyfriend between them. Moments later he heard a deep muffled moan come from Mateo as he finally blew a fat load.
“Well that was certainly a wonderful performance, you two.” The sound of Wavell’s voice made both Andrew and Mateo jump. Somehow they’d been completely oblivious to the man’s presence this whole time. How the hell could they have forgotten he was there. It was as if he’d been invisible to them somehow. Not only that but he now seemed to be tucking his dick away as his suit was soaked in a cum. “I have to thank you for the entertainment but it would seem I’ve got everything I need so…” He waved a hand and suddenly his clothes were clean again. “I shall bid you farewell.”
The warlock got up from his chair once again before outstretching a hand towards Andrew to which the man cautiously shook it. “I hope you enjoy your new life as a big dicked man. Judging by how you just dominated your boyfriend, I’d say you were born for it” he complimented. “And as for you Mateo, just do everything Andrew tells you to do. Before long your asshole will be begging for his dick. Trust me.” He patted the other man on the back. “And remember everything that happened here today stays between us.” Wavell’s eyes glinted that familiar violet. Andrew and Mateo didn’t question the man. Simply nodding and agreeing with him.
With that done, Wavell left the newly gay couple to clean themselves up so they could get back to sorting out their new lives. It was mainly Andrew who’d have to go through the headache of changing a bunch of legal documents and what not so, as one final favour, Wavell did a tiny bit of reality bending that would take care of it all. It was the least he could do after his experiment was what had caused all this.
As he made his way towards the next person he needed to interview, Wavell skimmed over the notes he had for both men.
Andrew Gardener (formerly Andrea Gardener). 28 years old. In a relationship with Mateo Ramos. Works an office job. Believes himself to be hardworking and considerate while also being a quiet person around others though his interview seemed to suggest otherwise. Prior to homo-bomb he was a heterosexual female who’d apparently been yearning to know what it felt like to be a man. This desire may have triggered some sort of abnormal reaction with the homo-bomb as instead of ignoring her, the homo-bomb transformed her completely into a tall muscular man with functional male genitals. Despite such an intense physical transformation, the subject doesn’t seem to be distressed or upset about it. Instead he seems to have adjusted to his new body rather quickly and seems eager to explore it and the benefits it may come with. He didn’t have much issue exploring a male orgasm once alone in the shower; however he was nervous to undergo sex for the first time as a man. Due to this I took it upon myself to bless him with all the knowledge and experience of gay sex he’d ever need while cracking up his sex drive. He naturally slipped into a more dominant role with his partner Mateo, partially due to his significantly above average penis and testicles. In conclusion Andrew is without a shadow of a doubt an anomaly. The homo-bomb was never intended to affect women whatsoever so the fact that it did shows that the spell itself still has lots of perfecting to do. That said, I can't say I’m not pleased with the results. Not to mention the subject seems happier than ever now with his new body.
Mateo Ramos. 28 years old. In a relationship with Andrew Gardener. Works as a model and personal trainer. Believes himself to be confident, outspoken and driven to which I can’t attest. Unlike his now boyfriend, Mateo does not seem to be an anomaly. Prior to the homo-bomb he described himself as a heterosexual man but now he seems to be completely homosexual. The subject didn’t detail to me any other changes either mental or physical that would suggest he was affected in an abnormal way. Similar to his boyfriend however, he did feel some anxiety about having gay sex for the first time so I took the liberty of giving him knowledge and experience in gay sex also. With a quick amp to his libido as well, he and his boyfriend were all over each other. Once Andrew displayed a dominant nature and his larger penis, Mateo seemed quick to accept a more submissive role. In conclusion I can confidently say Mateo has been affected by the homo-bomb in the intended way.
“Looks good to me.” Wavell muttered while walking up the steps to a different house, sensing another homo-bomb affected individual inside. “So… who have we got next?”
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#female to male#male transformation#male muscle growth#musclegrowth#straight to gay#female to male tf#cock growth#mental change#magic#permanent#jock#homo bomb#mr wavell
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Hi sorry I can’t stop thinking about how Charles grew up in -the AIDS crisis- and how that affected him and his view of sexuality. I initially thought ‘well he’s bisexual, obviously, he’s gotta know that’ but I really don’t think he does!!
My partner and I kept going ‘well what happened in the last 30 years?? Why didn’t they figure this out sooner?’ And I take that back. Those 30 years were the rest of the ‘80s, ‘90s and ‘00s, shit was -not- better for being queer. Like you might not have been burned at the stake, but people finding out could still ruin your life -very- easily. Discrimination laws were shit, they still kind of are in a good amount of states. I don’t know anything about discrimination laws in England at the time but they can’t have been better.
So I think Charles had clocked Edwin as queer very early on and was like ‘I’m not going to be like my father, or my ex-friends, I’m going to accept my friend’. And gave no thought to his own sexuality, most likely as an unconscious protection. (I’m fine with other people being gay, but -I- can’t be gay type of thing)
Also Punk subculture in England began in the ‘70s and obviously went into the ‘80s going very strong. Charles being from a lower-income family (still high enough income to send him to boarding school and having a basement, but we also have to consider that the ‘80s economy was -much- different and people could still afford a house and be poor at the same time) and dressing and speaking the way he does pinpoints him to a specific section of London that was seen as less desirable and punk culture and queer culture and poor culture -were and still are- a big-ass Venn diagram.
(Side note, Maurice by E.M. Forster was written in Edwin’s timeline. It’s about class disparity, being queer in an English boarding school and having a genuinely happy ending and it wasn’t published until -1971- because Forster did not want it published while he was still alive for obvious reasons)
(Other side note, Edwin was born just 5 years after the Oscar Wilde trials, so you -know- that scandal was burned into his brain from a young age)
But Charles knows that he loves Edwin in all other aspects, and I’d like to think that he’s recently come more to terms with his sexuality as a result of watching of the culture shift before his very eyes. Not thinking about it explicitly in the context of Edwin but like, understanding that queerness isn’t bad and -really- internalizing that.
We also don’t know if Charles has ever been in love before, and Edwin has had three -recent- experiences that have pushed him to this realization. Monty, the Cat King and Niko showing him her BL collection. Charles most recently was involved with a girl and he did -not- have several rendezvous with self-revelation. I think his response in Hell was extremely well-measured, all that considered. I just love this character and I have a lot of thoughts.
#disclaimer I’m not a historian I just have a lot of passion for historical context and queer history is -important-#the dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives Netflix#charles rowland#Edwin Payne#steve yockey#personal
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ephiphany | lucy bronze x reader
warnings: homophobia, mentions of overdose, grief, death
You thought you were getting better, or happier at least.
You cleaned your room, or you tried to. You worked out, well you walked into your home gym and then turned around as soon as your foot hit the floorboards. You left the house, or you sat in your backyard for a total of five minutes. All the things your therapist was telling you were for the best, all the right things.
Now, you’re lying on your couch - because yours is messy because clean for you is more about removing any major tripping hazards in comparison to actually cleaning. Everything feels like it’s slipping away from you.
You can’t do much more than stare at the blank wall in front of you, the one part of your living room that you choose to keep blank for this reason exactly. Every single other wall is adorned with shelves, paintings, trophies, photos, but this strip of plain white plaster is completely blank. It’s an island of peace in a room full of noise.
You can’t help but wonder why everything that's led to this has happened, why the cookie had to crumble this way for you.
Lucy’s on the phone in the kitchen, yelling at someone or something, Narla is lying beside you on the couch, absolutely desperate for your attention, something that you are yet to award her, Narla is trembling slightly, she hates when Lucy yells, the both of you do. You can’t help but think of all the bad things, can’t stop thinking. No matter how many of the pictures on the walls that you look at, or the art displayed on the plaster it’s just too much, too much for your brain to handle.
You’ve been trying to tell yourself for weeks now that you’ll get over it, that you’ll be good and happy and everything is going to be fine, because if it isn’t then everything is fucked. Everything you’ve ever worked for or wanted is gone.
You thought life was getting better, you thought you were going to return to the pitch, out of respect for Jonatan you were getting annoyed at yourself that you hadn’t gotten on the pitch yet, because it had been fucking weeks, and all you had accomplished was a messy room and a lot of tears.
Grief sucked.
Having your mom die from a fucking overdose was the freight train that you never expected to hit.
But when it did it was fucking carnage, a fucking wreck that had torn your life to pieces in a matter of minutes.
Maybe you’d hurt her, maybe she’d hurt you, maybe you were careless and didn’t think about how leaving your family would hurt her, maybe your choices had resulted in her death.
She was understanding until you told her you were gay.
She cared about you until you told her you were moving to Barca to be with Lucy.
She was your biggest supporter until you told her that you were so scared of how your father would react that you needed to move so he didn’t find out when you were in the house with him.
Maybe you could’ve been the bigger person, faced your fear.
Maybe, had you stayed and protected your mother from your fathers wrath she would still be alive.
But you left.
And maybe all the ‘hurt people hurt people’
Bullshit is true, maybe your mom only hurt you because of how much your father hurt her. Maybe she was just another example of the cycle of abuse that was so fucked up.
But that didn’t make it any easier, didn’t make it any easier to acknowledge that your last conversation with your mom ever was her screaming at you about how you were going to hell because of who you loved.
It’s been a little over a month or so since you visited her grave.
You remember the woman who had been visiting the grave next to you asking if you were okay, you didn’t know how to answer her.
In a matter of seconds of replying ‘yes’ you were gone, leaving behind a part of you that you never wanted to face again.
You saw the life drain from Lucy’s face as you confessed to her all of your guilt in the car ride back to Leah’s house, where you were staying for the weekend.
Lucy held your trembling body in her arms, holding onto you as tight as she could and promising she’d never let go, and she didn’t.
She could feel you slipping away out from under her, when your shared bed started to turn into a nest of blankets and you refused to let Lucy clean it up, when you made her take down every single photo you had of your family, desperate to remove any traces of them from your life, Lucy watched as you refused to eat anything, watched as your body began to thin and the bags under your eyes only got bigger.
Her therapist told her that everyone had a grief process, everyone processed death differently, but she was watching you kill yourself in the process of greiving your mother, and it gutted her.
In the six years that the two of you’d been dating she’d met your mother once, and that has been as a friend, not a girlfriend. You’d told Lucy about your families homophobic views, but she just couldn’t comprehend it, couldn’t comprehend how someone so amazing and loveable could have her whole family turn on her just for who she loved.
You let go of them though, washed your hands of their blood and let them run down the sink. It had been hard for you, losing a whole support system, but you’d worked through it, Lucy had been there for every single step of the way.
But right now, she felt more lost than ever, you were like a ghost in her arms.
When Lucy finally did finish on the phone she walked into the lounge room, to find you bunched up in the blankets on your couch, staring at the same spot that you always seemed to be looking at. The same spot that a month ago had held the picture of your mother and you, from your England debut. It was your favourite picture, the both of you beaming from ear to ear, you’d never felt like she’d been more proud of you then she was in that moment.
It had come down though, a month ago when you’d gotten rid of every single trace of your family that was left in your shared apartment. It had shattered Lucy seeing the very little evidence there was of your family being completely stripped from your house, on every edge of the apartment there was some sort of proof of Lucy’s family, whether it was pictures of her nieces and nephews or little mementos from trips or memories.
Lucy walked around the front of the couch, to spot that there were cold, still tears dripping down your face.
“Baby, everything okay?”
It was hard getting through to you nowadays, you were like a locked up safe, it was hard to get much out of you.
When Lucy realised that her soft tone had done absolutely nothing to penetrate your spaced out mind she raised her voice a little bit, taking a step closer to you and blocking your view of the wall just slightly.
“Baby, you okay?”
Your eyes snapped up to Lucy’s face, your jumper sleeve moving directly up to your face to wipe the tears off of your face.
“She’s gone, Luce.”
Your words were a murmur, hardly pronounced but Lucy caught them.
She slipped onto the couch beside you, opening her arms to you and smiling to herself as you climbed into her lap almost immediately, your arms wrapping around her neck like she was a lifeline.
“She’s fucking gone and I never told her that I loved her or that I forgave her or that I understood her struggles, she’s gone and I-I how am I supposed to live in a world where my mother didn’t love me or want me?”
It was so hard to hear those words leave your mouth, that you felt like you were unwanted, because you weren’t. You’d found a family in Barcelona with Lucy, your teammates were your family and they loved you more than enough, but they weren’t your blood.
“Sweetheart, do you actually believe that those things are true? That she deserved to be told you loved her when she didn’t deserve it?”
Your sob was enough of an indication of your answer and Lucy only held onto you for longer.
“She didn’t want me.”
Lucy didn’t know what to say to that, because she couldn’t lie to you and tell you that your mother did love you or want you, she couldn’t lie to you. Your mother was like a oxymoron of sorts, because in no way had she behaved in a way that was motherly or loving, she had canned you because of who you were, and that was fucking horrible, it sucked.
“I know baby, but I do, I love you so much, we’re going to get through this.”
Lucy wasn’t sure if you would get through this, she didn’t know how many works your body could do this for, how long you could struggle, how much longer you could let yourself be pulled apart by the death of your mother, how much pulling you could deal with before the scars were simply to big for you to be repaired.
She knew she’d lost parts of you since it happened that she might never get back, parts of you that she so desperately missed, which felt horrible, because it felt illegal to miss parts of your lover, but she did, she war mourning her own life with you that had faded away when she died.
Lucy didn’t know if you’d ever be kay, she prayed to every star that you would, that tomorrow, or next week, or next month she;d get a part of her girl back, a sign that you were okay, she was waiting for that, waiting so patiently for a sign that you were still in there somewhere, that your mother hadn;t taken you to the grave with her, that you weren’t just a skeleton walking around anymore.
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yeah so poll is voting for more big fics but this little drabble ideas has been in my head for a few days and i had a few fiq reqs for grief angst so here it is xo
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When I tell you I NEED Aziraphale and Crowley to kiss again, I mean it.
Anyone who thinks asexual people don’t kiss (or don’t have sex, but that’s not the point of this post) is misinformed. Asexual people - or celestial beings, for that matter - absolutely can and do express feelings and desires by acting physically upon them. Many ace people enjoy the sensations, the nuances, the feelings involved in the physical expressions of love - the only difference is HOW they experience attraction, which has NOTHING to do with kissing or sex, but with what motivates wanting to do those things.
With that said, let’s go back to everyone’s favorite idiots: Aziraphale and Crowley.
During their kiss, you can literally see them pulling each other in, like they need to be as close as physically possible in that moment. You can see it as Aziraphale embraces Crowley for a split second, and you can see it as Crowley throws himself onto Aziraphale more and more during the kiss. He can’t even pull back for a single second, not even to adjust to the kiss - he just GLUES his lips to Aziraphale’s.
Aziraphale’s look after the kiss CANONICALLY means “do it again, please, right now”, as Rob Wilkins already clarified. And that is writing perfection. It creates the angst - the cue - we need to make sure a second kiss - the reward - happens. I’ve been saying this in almost every post, but here i go again: the whole point of angst is that it HAS to pay off eventually, it HAS to be followed by relief, otherwise it’s just angst for the sake of angst.
Aziraphale mouths “no” as Crowley is leaving. He doesn’t say it, but he wants to. Whatever that means, whatever the reason for the “rejection” after the kiss was, the kiss changed something. He wasn’t expecting it, but he was heartbroken to see that Crowley thought he didn’t want it. You can see him not being able to keep his eyes off the door - and later on, off the window he can see Crowley through. He almost changes his mind - and that is still true even if he had a plan all along, he didn’t think Crowley would KISS him and that blows his mind.
He touches his lips after Crowley leaves. He relives that moment by doing so, but also realizes something completely new: Crowley did what Aziraphale had spent millennia wishing for him to do, but did it in the worst possible moment. He almost loses the strength to carry on with whatever it is his plan required. But he doesn’t. He pulls it together, and goes back to heaven.
Wether Crowley knows he has a plan (the “trust me” theory) or believes he was truly rejected, they both know they crossed that line for good. They both know that, if they’re ever reunited, they will never be able to act like platonic friends again. Aziraphale, in a beautifully made parallel to the ox rib scene, realizes he had been starving for Crowley’s touch. And that is just absolutely beautiful.
If you’ve seen my post about why this couple NEEDS a happy ending, you already know why i think Good Omens is the perfect show to give queer couples back their hopes for love. I think we are all tired of the tragic gays / couple baiting fictional couples. Now we need the happily ever after. The fairytale. The cheesy, chaotic, rom-com-y, EPIC resolution. We NEED them to kiss again. We NEED them to be happy.
I REST MY CASE.
#aziracrow#aziraphale#crowley#good omens#ineffable husbands#neil gaiman#gomens#angel#gomens s2#prime video#good omens season 2#good omens spoilers#neil gaiman books#crowleys bentley#crowley x aziraphale#go3
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any recs for jealous harry? especially before they’re in a relationship. i think i’ve read most of them. but just in case i’d love to see if you have any!
thanks :)
Hi anon! I’ve seen more and more jealous Harry recently, good food 🤌🏼 here’s my reclist with jealous Harry and some additional recs for early jealousy before they get together. Enjoy!
The Real Thing by @skeptiquewrites (M, 5k)
Harry only means to cheer Draco up after a terrible breakup. He doesn't mean to fall in love.
Two of Us by @sorrybutblog (E, 5.5k)
The gang goes to a gay bar. Or: five times Harry accidentally pretended to be Draco’s boyfriend and one time Draco told him to put out or shut up.
Deadheading the Odd Dahlia by @peachpety (E, 8.7k)
Harry is content to spend his days at Draco’s flower stall at the farmers market, burying his true feelings in artisanal coffee and rose bouquets. When forced to find new lodgings, he accepts Draco’s offer to live in a cottage at Malfoy Manor, and his long-hidden crush blossoms out of control. Turns out, proximity makes the heart grow fonder.
Let Me Roll It by @lagerloutfic (E, 9.5k)
The thing about Harry was, he hated most people. And there was no one he hated more than Draco’s boyfriend Justin - certified knob and all round wanker. So when he finds out Justin is just as selfish inside the bedroom as he is outside it, Harry can’t help himself.
Peep Show by @kbrick (E, 10k)
To everyone’s surprise, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy have become maybe-possibly-sort-of friends. When Harry moves into the building next to Draco's, they become neighbors, too. Actually, Harry can see directly into Draco's flat from his window. And as it turns out, Draco gets up to some interesting things at night.
Take These Lies by @pennygalleon (E, 20k)
There’s a portrait of his godfather in Draco Malfoy’s potions shop and Harry needs to know why. But that’s not why he keeps coming back.
We Might Be Too Old for a Bildungsroman by @wellhalesbells (T, 21k)
Harry finds something he’s been looking for since the war’s end. Admittedly, the packaging’s a bit odder than he expected.
I Bet That You Look Good on the Dancefloor by birdsofshore (E, 28k)
Harry felt lit up from inside as soon as he entered the bar. There were blokes dancing together, their bodies close to one another, not keeping a wary distance as Harry was always careful to do when he was near another man. God, he wanted this – wanted it so much he could taste it, a metallic tang of heat and desire. He suspected nothing would ever be the same again – especially when he saw who else was in the room.
Around You Moves by ignatiustrout (M, 29k)
Harry knew Draco was gay when he invited him to move in. He’s never had a problem with this. So why does he feel so weird about Draco bringing men home all of a sudden?
LA, Who Am I To Love You? by @epitomereally (E, 42k)
Harry’s summer in LA is not going as expected. Pansy Parkinson keeps inviting him to parties in the Hollywood Hills and harassing him to finally go to the physical therapist, Blaise Zabini keeps slipping new strains of his company’s magical weed into Harry’s pockets in hopes of an endorsement, and Draco Malfoy keeps having sex with everyone but Harry.
Modern Love by @tackytigerfic (E, 61k)
Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.
Can't Sit Still by wilteddaisy (E, 193k)
Five years after the war, Harry finds himself drawn to Draco Malfoy by memories that aren't his own.
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soulmate au - @wolfstarmicrofic
Sirius trailed him with a heavy stomp, his hands grabbing Remus’ arms to stop him from walking away. “What the hell, Remus?! What’s your problem?”
Remus stopped in his tracks to turn towards Sirius. “My problem is that I love you!” he exclaimed before he could even stop himself from doing so. He snatched his arm back, balling his hands into a fist to prevent them from shaking, keeping it firmly at his sides.
Sirius stood right where he was, mouth slightly agape. The courage coursing through Remus’ veins was pushing him to say what he’s always wanted to, right from the second he realised what his feelings meant.
“I’ve been in love with you before I even knew what love was!” Remus paused to catch his breath, whilst also trying to drown out the drumming of his own heart. “I know I’m risking a lot saying this—our friendship—you! But fuck that—I…I can’t fucking stand this anymore. I can no longer fucking watch you mope about some bitch who doesn’t even give a single fuck about you—cos I love you and it hurts seeing you get hurt!”
“All this time I’ve been waiting for you to see me—actually see me! I was there when you were complaining about girls not wanting you. I was there when you endlessly whined after your exes broke up with you—I was fucking there!” Remus glared at Sirius, who still looked limp in his place. “When you started realising you like boys as well as girls and asked me if boys would find you attractive, I wanted to tell you then that it would be foolish for them not to see how wonderful you are and it would be their loss for not doing so—but I couldn’t cos you were my fucking friend.”
“When you asked me to set you up with someone gay—I was there, Sirius. Me. But you only saw me as a friend and nothing more. Nothing more!” Remus sighed exasperatingly. Throwing his frustrations at Sirius whilst telling him how he really feels was not a choice he would’ve done earlier today, or ever. But nature took its course and the universe told him to fuck it.
“Remus, I…” Sirius finally spoke, his eyes still wide. He raised his hand to reach Remus’ but seemed to changed his mind mid-way.
“What? No funny comebacks?” Remus challenged. The choice of letting his anger lead this conversation is much more ideal than actively contemplate the consequences of him admitting his feelings towards his best friend.
It was a choice between letting the rage out or letting the tears go. With the former, Remus could just pretend to be angry at Sirius. While the latter would eventually lead to a lifetime of hurt.
Not only was he breaking up their friendship by confessing, but saying how he feels out loud just made it seem more real.
“No.” Sirius replied, gulping. His adam’s apple bobbed up and down. Remus shouldn’t be looking but he was, not only that, he’s also turned on by it. “I’ve always seen you that way, Remus. Always.”
“What?” Remus blinked. It was his turn to be rendered mute. His head was swimming into thousands of different possibilities of what Sirius could’ve meant.
“You were the reason why I realised Iiked boys too.” he paused. “The moment I saw you on the train, with your stupid freckles and stupid hair and stupid smile—how could I not see you? The reason none of those relationships worked out was because of you—”
Remus scoffed, cutting Sirius off. “Oh, so now you’re blaming me?!”
“No! No! Of course not!” Sirius protested, his arms gestured into surrender. “I couldn’t stay in a relationship with them for long cos I didn’t like them as much as I do you! They could kiss me endlessly but the feeling it would give would never amount to the happiness I get when I’m simply next to you. You are the one I want, Remus. You’ve always been the one I want.”
“Then why do you keep dating other people?”
“Cos I’m a fucking knob and I didn’t know that you were someone I can have.”
Oh.
Oh.
Sirius took a step forward. “Please forgive me for all the stupid things I’ve done before. I can’t promise not to make stupid things again cos I know I’ll make more, but I swear that none of it will be done to hurt you.” he paused to take Remus’ hand, his eyes completely fixed on him. “Remus John Lupin, you may not believe in soulmates but I do—cos I believe I was put in this world to find you and love you.”
“And I believe I was put in this world to stop you from doing stupid things—well, more stupid things that could land you in Azkaban.” Remus replied. Sirius gave him a small smirk.
The warmth spreading throughout Remus’ entire body was undeniably strong. The love he has for Sirius Black—who’s a complete idiot—was stronger than the hatred he has in himself for falling for his bestfriend.
“I love you, Sirius.” Remus muttered. It didn’t take long for Sirius’ hands to cup Remus’ cheeks, capture his lips, and slide his tongue in. The way Remus imagined it happening before was magical, but the actual one was a hundred million times better.
Sirius broke the kiss to get a whiff of air, his forehead pressing into Remus’ as he ran his thumb across Remus’ cheek. “I love you so much more, Moony.”
#wolfstar microfic#wolfstar#remus loves sirius#sirius loves remus#maraudersera#april prompts#soulmate au#remus lupin#sirius black#moony x padfoot
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#38 "i was eavesdropping and i heard something i can’t scrub from my memory" sounds like it could be very funny, especially from a kid's perspective!
you read my mind, it 100% needs be a kid POV, sorry this one is a bit shorter than my usual but it was fun to write. *it actually ended up being longer than I thought cause I have a problem with not knowing when enough is enough lol* ♡
find the request game here
Lucas was going to throw up. He liked to think he had a strong stomach, he really truly did, but this was too much even for him.
“What the hell is your problem?” Max asked him as he came back to Steve’s living room.
“Yea you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Will pipes up, head leaning on his knee.
Lucas swallowed dryly, he had to phrase this carefully. “Well I was eavesdropping…”
Max snorted from her seat on the couch. “You Lucas Sinclair was eavesdropping? Didn’t think I’d ever see the day. What about the whole ‘respect people’s boundaries’ thing you rave about?”
“And I still stand by that! It’s just I didn’t want to interrupt and…” Lucas thought back to a few minutes ago. He had gone into the kitchen to grab Max an ice pack; she was having a bad hip day. When he had reached the door, he had heard Steve and Eddie talking, and it had sounded serious. Lucas felt bad about interrupting, but he also couldn’t go back to Max without the ice pack. They had been good for months now, and he didn’t want to risk it. (He knew this was ridiculous considering they weren’t really that dysfunctional, and she loved him, a reluctant secret smile confession on her end. But there was this deep part of Lucas who was terrified of disappointing her). So he was content with waiting outside the door until they were done.
Lucas really should have turned around and left.
“What if they don’t…want to be around us Stevie?” Eddie whispered.
“Baby they are just kids. They are good kids. They are our friends. They won’t be upset.” Steve murmured back.
This was the point Lucas should have turned around, but he was confused and wanted to understand.
“You aren’t even the slightest bit worried, that maybe they won’t be accepting? I don’t think any of them have been exposed to gay culture, let alone two men dating?”
Oh. Oh no. This was really private. Lucas should have really turned around but at that point, his feet were glued to the ground.
“I mean yea a little bit…they are shitheads. Especially Mike—“ Lucas had to hold back a snort, “—but they are good. It’s why we are friends with them. As much as it pains me to admit we are friends with children.”
Lucas wished he could see their faces.
“What if…what if they are more than shitheads this time?” Lucas had never heard Eddie’s voice sound so small.
“…do you want to wait a little longer?” Steve’s voice asked gently, with no anger.
“If that’s okay. I just…want to live in our bubble a little longer. Well our bubble plus Robin.” Lucas imagined Eddie biting his hair in that moment.
“Yea baby. We take this at the pace you need. And Robin already knows, which is pretty much the only person I can’t keep a secret from. And I like our little bubble too.” Lucas heard shuffling around, like fabric reaching around itself.
“Yea?”
“Yea. I think I can go a little longer without the twerps making gagging noises every time we kiss. We can wait to tell them we’re together.”
“Hmmmm should we do a practice show right now, to prepare for when we need to freak them out?” Eddie’s voice turned suddenly flirty.
“I like the way you think.” This was the last words Lucas heard before the sounds of the two of them clearly heavily making out came through the doorway. It was at the first moan that Lucas ran away.
Lucas was brought back to reality when Max snapped her fingers in his face. “Want to share with the class loser?”
Oh god, Lucas was gonna throw up at the memory.
It wasn’t the fact that they were men and that they were dating. Lucas was, in fact, really happy for them. He had never thought about it, but in a weird way, it made sense. He wanted them to be happy. And if he was really being honest with himself, he was hoping maybe this would get Max to stop staring at Steve when he doesn’t have a shirt on (a few months later, Lucas would be horribly proven wrong of this theory).
It wasn’t this kissing that made him want to vomit either. Sure, the idea of his older brother figure making out with his dungeon master wasn’t a pleasant thought, but he had witness Mike make out with El, so he was pretty immune to grossness.
No, the problem was Lucas realized with great certainty he was going to have to keep a secret.
He gagged at the thought.
Sure, he could keep a whole other dimension and government conspiracy theory a secret from his parents (and, ya know, the world), but he caved relatively quickly when it came to Max. And Max could tell whenever he was lying. But Lucas wasn’t stupid; he knew you couldn’t just tell other people that someone you know is gay. He didn't know the word for it, maybe there wasn’t one, but Lucas knew what it was like to be different. He didn’t want to make Steve and Eddie feel bad, or cause others to be mean to them. He didn’t think the rest of the party would care about the gay? Bisexual? Queer?—wait, that’s a bad word, Lucas thought—it didn’t matter what specifically, but he didn’t think they would care about the gay stuff—more like Lucas knew his friends. El and Max would have a million, invasive questions. Mike would be a dick, but not for serious reasons. More like “I have weird insecurities” reasons. It would probably be good for Will (again, Lucas isn’t stupid). And Dustin, holy shit, he would most definitely either be pissed he didn’t know sooner, or would rub it in everyone’s face that he made it happen. Both of which Lucas knew would be horrible reactions.
God, he was going to throw up. He was going to lie to his friends. His girlfriend. He couldn’t just share this secret. It would go horrible if he told, it’s not his secret! His stupid, stupid friends (not El and Max) would blow up if it came from him first. And then Eddie and Steve would be upset, he told, and they would think that the party hated them for something out of their control, even though they love them no matter what! And oh god, he’s gonna have to lie so much—
He was spiraling, he needed to calm down.
“Lucas?” Max’s face suddenly softened, like she knew he was having a hard time getting the words together. Lucas looked at her face, and took a couple of seconds to count her freckles but lost track quickly. He didn’t mind; he would to start again later. He followed the laugh lines around her eyes that weren’t there last year, and thought about trying to make her laugh.
Max said nothing as he stared, even as the guys pressed him to answer. It was strange, he was terrified of lying to Max, but he knew deep down she would understand. That she would know he was lying but wouldn’t call him out on it.
“I was eavesdropping and I heard something I can’t erase from my memory. I almost walked in on Steve giving sex advice to Eddie, so I walked away before it got gross. I forgot your ice pack; I’m sorry.” Lucas apologized; he did genuinely feel bad he didn’t succeed on his mission.
The guys started chattering behind him, asking questions and yelling out in disgust, but Max stayed quiet for a second, then said, “It’s okay, stalker. Didn’t have high hopes for you anyway. You always get distracted.”
Lucas sent her a grateful smile, and pretended to be offended. “Are you saying I don’t finish what I’ve started? You should know better, Max.”
Max threw her head back, and full body laughed. She scooped Lucas’ hand and wove her pale fingers between his. “That’s me being nice, Lucas. Don’t go around telling people that. Or I’ll have to up the ante.”
Lucas kissed the back of her hand and whispered, “Maybe I like it when you’re a little mean.”
Max blushed and looked to check if the guys were paying attention (they weren’t; they were still arguing over sex they weren’t having), and leaned over to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. Max didn’t ask any questions even though Lucas knew she knew he was lying.
Lucas didn’t let go of her hand, and quietly hoped that Eddie made Steve feel the way Max made him feel.
He deserved something special like that.
**
I need you guys to know that I had to keep backtracking to correct boys into guys, cause I’m so used to writing from an older persons perspective. But I wanted some steddie and lumax mixed together. And Lucas! Deserves! More! Attention!!!
thank you so much for the ask I had so much fun with this one.
#steddie#lumax#Lucas Sinclair being the amazing friend that he is#Steve Harrington#Eddie Munson#lucas sinclair#max mayfield#the party stranger things#stranger things#platonic stobin#(mentioned)#soft#robin buckley#my writing#ficlet
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Can u help me understand Lestappen please? I’m trying to get into it because it’s a popular ship and I don’t want to miss out on great fics and stuff.
But I see Tumblr posts of MV and CL that scream “HEART EYES” or “HUSBANDS” and…I don’t see it. I can’t suspend my disbelief. Like I get they’ve been competing for 20 years or whatever but I don’t get anything other than profesh respect. And when we regularly see how they are with other people, like MV with Daniel or Lando, or CL with Carlos, Lestappen looks even worse.
Can you please help me see the Lestappen light?
hi anon! lemme break it down for ya. the reason why lestappen is such a popular ship is bc not only of the mutual respect that they have for each other, but the history they have, and their interactions have been pretty cute and all.
even max and lando don't really interact that much, and lando goes as far as to say that "he's not my bff, don't ever say that again" when asked about him and max's relationship. and max with daniel–well, max has always loved daniel and had a crush on that man since his first days in f1 so... different dynamic for sure. charles with carlos interactions... they are cute and all but i think their racing dynamics are just so awkward? esp i think that the ferrari politics deffo affected their relationship and all. cross-team dynamics between charles and max have a nice dynamic, but i'll break down some of the key events
lestappen lore timeline!
2012 - when the inchident occurs - you just need to watch this video. it's just so funny. no words can explain this 😭
2014 - when max essentially recommends charles to race for his old f3 team, van amersfoort racing, a dutch team. and the team boss had a lot of positive things to say about the two <3
2019 - the singapore flag incident... mr. i know geography and i love flags SOMEHOW doesn't know the difference between the singapore flag and the monaco flag
2019 - when we get to austria 2019. essentially, charles is about to win his FIRST ever f1 gp with 3 laps to go, and max pushes charles off track, overtaking him and eventually winning. charles is FURIOUS on the podium. and then they have to share a plane back home but max is all like "oh yeah we're good! 😊 he's talented and he will have his first win this year for sure! we have at least 15-20 years of racing together still! 😊" and then on the plane charles unfollows max. max does the same 😭
2022 - jumping forward to austria 2022, when charles wins the race! and they have this GAY ASS PODIUM
austria is lestappen holy ground.
2020 - when we get this wonderful clip of sebastian asking whether or not charles thinks max is pretty.
seb: is he pretty?
charles: *giggles and then silence* OH WAIT. i thought you said 'is he british?' i was like, that's not physical... *panicked leg shake* i don't know!!! *laughs again*
charles not wanting to answer if max is pretty... we should take that as a yes <3
2021 - the year of their baku love tree <3 according to an old turkish custom, when a couple get married, they plant a tree together, and they water it to symbolize their marriage and their hope for leading a happy and beautiful life!
and then jumping forward to 2023 in baku, they have the SAME IDENTICAL TIME during first runs in q3. only max is first bc he did his lap first.
2022 - cota! before the press conference they talk and max goes "fresh again?" and charles starts GIGGLING. like yeah we know u were drunk celebrating 🙄
2022 - secret santa! when charles has max for secret santa and this guy just. gives him f1 2022. with THREE OF HIS FACES. and has a card and writes "one edition for my BIGGEST FAN." not normal about this at ALL.
2023 - charles admits to drinking red bull after he couldn't say in an interview but then likes a tweet later 😭
2023 - paddelgate. max loses to charles in october
and then they're supposed to play together in december!
but then... Max stays up until 4 am the night before the match (doing a 24 hour charity stream) and sleeps in and misses the entire event. 🙁
ok i could literally go on and on about them but i'm going to end it here with a couple quotes:
"Of course I have a lot of respect for Max. He has done very well and I have a lot of respect for what he has achieved. When we drove in karts, we dreamed of Formula 1 together and here we are now! He has the title I won and I have a lot of respect for that."
"I always thought that, if I'd make it to F1, Charles would also make it."
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Kurt Cobain Quotes
1. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.
2. Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
3. Friends are nothing but a known enemy.
4. Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.
5. If my eyes could show my soul, everyone would cry when they saw me smile.
6. I am definitely a feminist. I'm f--king disgusted by the way women are still treated. It's 1993 and some people still think we're in 1950s. We need to make more progress. There needs to be more female musicians, more female artists, more female writers. Everything is dominated by f--king males and I'm sick of it!
7. Thank you for the tragedy. I need it for my art.
8. Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with with your self-esteem. They're no good at all.
9. We're so trendy we can't even escape ourselves.
10. I definitely feel closer to the feminine side of the human being than I do the male - or the American idea of what a male is supposed to be. Just watch a beer commercial and you'll see what I mean.
11. I mean, I’m definitely gay in spirit, and I probably could be bisexual. But I’m married, and I’m more attracted to Courtney [Love] than I ever have been toward a person, so there’s no point in trying to sow my oats at this point. [Laughs] If I wouldn't have found Courtney, I probably would have carried on with a bisexual lifestyle.
12. Ever since the beginning of rock and roll, there's been an Axl Rose. And it's just boring. It's totally boring to me.
13. I thought I would try to be gay for a while, but I'm just more sexually attracted to women. But I'm really glad that I found a few gay friends, because it totally saved me from becoming a monk or something.
14. If any of you, in any way, hate homosexuals, people of a different color or women, please do this one favor for us—leave us the fuck alone. Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records.
15. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape. Go to the source and start there.
16. The duty of youth is to challenge corruption.
17. We’re not as popular as everyone thinks, and we’re not as rich as everyone thinks.
18. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life.
19. Punk is musical freedom. It’s saying, doing, and playing what you want.
20. Words suck. I mean, everything has been said. Words aren’t as important as the energy derived from music, especially live.
21. I'm a spokesman for myself. It just so happens that there's a bunch of people that are concerned with what I have to say. I find that frightening at times because I'm just as confused as most people. I don't have the answers for anything.
22. Holding my baby is the best drug in the world.
23. No one is afraid of heights, they’re afraid of falling down. No one is afraid of saying I love you, they’re afraid of the answer.
24. I use bits and pieces of others’ personalities to form my own.
25. If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got.
26. I just can’t believe anyone would start a band just to make the scene and be cool and have chicks. I just can’t believe it.
27. To be positive at all times is to ignore all that is important, sacred and valuable. To be negative at all times is to be threatened by ridiculousness and instant discredibility.
28. You can’t buy happiness.
30. Nobody dies a virgin. Life f***s us all.
31. Music is energy. A mood, atmosphere. Feeling.
33. If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.
34. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too f****** sad.
35. I have to admit I’ve found myself doing the same things that a lot of other rock stars do or are forced to do. Which is not being able to respond to mail, not being able to keep up on current music, and I’m pretty much locked away a lot. The outside world is pretty foreign to me.
36. I really miss being able to blend in with people.
37. It’s better to burn out than fade away.
38. God is gay
#kurt donald cobain#kurt cobain#kurdt kobain#frances bean cobain#courtney love#grunge#life quote#beautiful quote#quotes#90s grunge#rock#grunge tumblr#feminism#feminist quotes#queer#punk music#god is gay#kurt#smells like nirvana#nirvana#punk community#holeband#bisexual#inspirational quotes#aberdeen#grunge music#riot grrrl#activism#anti homophobia#anti sexism
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