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jbaileyfansite · 5 months

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Jonathan Bailey and Matt Bomer's Interview with The Hollywood Reporter (2023)

“Johnny B! Johnny B!” Matt Bomer exclaims as he logs in to Zoom to join his Fellow Travelers co-star, Jonathan Bailey, to do press for their critically acclaimed Showtime limited series.

“Hey, Matty Mo,” Bailey replies.

The actors spent about six months filming the eight-episode series — so, of course, they’ve established a playful bond. On this particular day, they’ve even given each other nicknames.

“I don’t think I’ve ever called Matt ‘Matty Mo’ in my life,” a smiling Bailey says.

“I love Matty Mo,” Bomer replies. “Listen, I love Matty Mo. I appreciate it.”

Bomer and Bailey built a brotherhood and onscreen chemistry for the historical romantic drama about two male political staffers who fall in love at the height of the Lavender Scare, a time when homosexuals were banned from holding positions in the federal government. The series — based on Thomas Mallon’s 2007 novel of the same name — follows their intense affair into the ’80s, also visiting Vietnam War protests and the AIDS crisis.

Zoom, it turns out, is where the actors first met, reading lines together to see if there was magic. And there was.

Since debuting in late October, Fellow Travelers has had an overwhelming response from viewers — some connecting directly with Bomer’s Hawkins Fuller, a veteran and State Department official who carefully hides his homosexuality, or with Bailey’s Tim Laughlin, an eager and naive congressional staffer who falls hard for Hawk. Others have identified with some of the supporting cast, including Allison Williams in the role of Hawk’s wife, Lucy Smith, and breakout stars Jelani Alladin as reporter Marcus Hooks and Noah J. Ricketts as drag performer Frankie Hines, whose gay Black love story is one of the show’s many highlights.

“It’s so nice to be able to have discourse with people who are responding to the show. That’s been really refreshing and enlightening,” says Bomer, who is also an executive producer on the series.

Bailey, best known for Bridgerton and his theater work, says he was drawn to the show because “it felt new and it hadn’t been done in this way — in an elevated, eight-hour, rich aesthetic with gay actors.

“The queer experience is so different for so many people,” he adds, “but the one thing that unites the queer experience is these moments in history.”

In an interview with THR, Bomer and Bailey talk about prepping for their roles and being gay while playing gay, while also breaking down those milk and toe-sucking scenes.

What has it been like to have people connect emotionally to the series?

MATT BOMER: I won’t name names or anything, but I’ve known people over the years who’ve made similar choices that Hawk made in order to survive. Not governmentally — I mean in a society that certainly didn’t want to see them succeed. But for me, the most refreshing thing has been the young people who are really engaged in the show and knew nothing about the Lavender Scare, and are speaking to the show and the characters, but also, aspects of our history that they were unaware of that the show has — I don’t want to say taught them about, because it’s not a teaching tool — but they’ve learned about through the show.

JONATHAN BAILEY: When people respond in that way and you hear their personal stories, it’s amazing that people feel that they want to share that. It’s the most grounding thing to tell a story and investigate a time or a period or a movement, that hopefully leaves an imprint on people, and/or catalyzes them to tell people and talk about their own stuff. That’s the dream, really.

Jonathan, it’s so heartbreaking to watch Tim hurting in various scenes. What were you pulling from to give such a strong emotional performance?

BAILEY: Thirty-five years on this earth. (Laughs.) Drawing it from the ground. Naturally, it’s totally parts of me and parts of people that I know, experiences that you think of. Tim’s character arc is so huge, and [I wanted] to capture his youth in those early moments and then expand into what breaks such a pure, optimistic, passionate soul and all the different ways in which that could show itself. There were moments on set that you couldn’t help but be incredibly moved by.

We found ourselves filming by coincidence on World Aids Day. It is really not hard to feel the importance, but also just the grief is palpable in the stories. And there is a lineage — you inherit this in your community. It just felt like an opportunity to learn as much as I possibly could, generally, about the queer experience. We are surrounded by amazing gay men, as well. And then, of course, I’ve lived my life trying to understand the gay experience, so it wasn’t a shallow pool to [pull from].There’s a well there.

Matt, your character is so cutthroat, but obviously there’s sympathy for him, as well. What was it like playing Hawk?

BOMER: Hawk does what he has to do to survive. He has his empathy and his allegiances, but anything that calls his survival into question, there are immediate and severe boundaries. But then enters Tim, who is so guileless and so full of love and all the things that Hawk wishes he could be at his core, or maybe once was before certain aspects of his life changed that or his point of view about that. You’re always looking for a shadow in your character, and it was so refreshing — he obviously has a public persona, a veneer that he presents to the world in order to maneuver in it, but he really leads with a lot of the more shadowy aspects of a typical character. It’s the love and the more open and vulnerable aspects that are his shadow in many ways. That was an interesting flip for me to get to sink my teeth into.

It’s profound to have two gay actors playing two gay characters on a TV show. Did you ever think something like this could exist?

BOMER: Honestly, no. My mind has been blown so many times over the past 20 years. I’m just so grateful that the gatekeepers gave us this opportunity. I was doubtful, almost up to the 25th hour on this, that they were really going to put the money and the opportunity into this series that they did. And I’m just so grateful that people who are in the position of calling the shots gave us the chance to tell the story — and the way we needed to.

BAILEY: It’s the Tims of the industry, who are searching for more, who are deconstructing, who are questioning. Because they’re all a similar peer group — [series creator] Ron [Nyswaner] knows Dante [Di Loreto, executive producer of Glee and P-Valley], who’s at Fremantle [which produced the show], and they’ve worked together for years. This isn’t something that just got commissioned overnight, because there’s a wave of progress. The people who are really doing it, as well as the actors, are the people in positions of power who have worked their way up with these questions.

And it’s funny, the one thing I have thought over the years is — I’ve just looked at gay characters, they’re such rich, brilliant, oppressed, complicated, joyous characters to play, so of course people want to play them. And this is a brilliant example of: What better way to do a character study of two polar-opposite gay characters than have gay people play them? But that’s what I felt growing up. I just thought, “Of course people want to play those parts,” which is great. It’s just, what happens if, just for a moment, gay people play them?

And I do think that everyone can play everything, and that’s what we should be headed toward. But I do think there’s a balance that needs, and needed, addressing. And there are a lot of people whose questioning and hard work have created a world in which this can fly.

BOMER: I agree with you wholeheartedly. And it is the Tims of the industry or maybe some Hawks, too, hoping for retribution.

BAILEY: That’s true. We stand on the shoulders of all the Hawks, as well.

BOMER: (Laughs.)

BAILEY: [The Hawks] did all the work at MGM, yes. (Laughs.)

Jonathan, your character drinking milk in the series got a lot of attention.

BAILEY: It was a brilliant way of showing such naiveté, and immediately you know that this is a character who’s completely outside the world Hawk inhabits, and he sees the world completely differently. He’s so open. It’s so interesting, isn’t it? Because, it’s funny that Tim leads with his heart and his openness and his childlike wonder, and his shadows are his compulsive nature of constantly needing something that he can’t fill. There’s a moment in episode six — they’re in Frankie’s flat, and I was like, “He’s got to be drinking milk.”

BOMER: There was a power shift in episode eight, too.

BAILEY: Exactly. The milk was on the call sheet. It’s a character in its own right. And also the milk’s character arc is more dramatic than everyone else. Give it a spinoff, I say. (Laughs.)

There was also that toe-sucking scene. Jonathan, did you get the script and it said “suck toe”?

BOMER: Just “suck toe.” (Laughs.)

BAILEY: It was very, very precisely written down — it was as precise as it needed to be. I saw that as an incredible way to dissect power. I got it when I read it, and I wasn’t intimidated by it. I was just like, “If in the first episode that’s what we are doing, it’s going to be worth five months moving to Toronto, and it’s going to be a series that I would want to watch.” Because not only is it incredibly complicated, not only is it really hot, it’s also something that masks as being provocative, but actually it’s really psychologically impactful and the people who get it get it.

BOMER: I think all those scenes were a really external representation of what was going on with these characters internally, emotionally. And for me, it was really refreshing to see the gay love scenes brought to light in a really unflinching way.

BAILEY: The shock and overwhelm and the tantalizing chemical combustion that happens seeing it — it’s a greater sensory experience because that’s exactly what it meant for Tim in that moment. It captures exactly what’s going on for Hawk and Tim, hopefully, allowing the viewer to experience a bodily reaction to it in the same way, whatever that may be.

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#fellow travelers #jonathan bailey #matt bomer #interviews #interviews:2023 #the hollywood reporter interview #NEW!

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misterradio · 4 months

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Hey what are some cool old films you reccomend? You seem tohave a few

[CRACKS MY KNUCKLES] hi ::-) here are some relatively old films that i like, and a bit of commentary 👍 you (might) know me, i like drama and horror movies so expect that.

right off tha bat The Cabinet of Dr Caligari [1919 or 1920???] and Metropolis [1921] are classics and required viewing. okay.

The Adventures of Pinocchio [1911]- i know what I just said about horror movies but this one made me laugh a lot because its so absurd so it gets a spot on here. Warning for racism about native americans around the middle point i think.

Different from the Others [1919]- A (now incomplete) German drama about a gay couple struggling through adversity. Probably the first pro-gay film, theres so much heart in this movie, its amazing to be able to watch (most of) it more than 100 years after its premier..!!

M [1931]- German crime movie about the search for a local serial killer. Sometimes slow but also intriguing... The use of a character having a musical leitmotif is really neat!

Dràcula [1931]- There are two Universal Dracula movies: The classic english one with Lugosi, and a spanish one filmed on the same sets but with different actors. I think i liked the spanish version more and its a fun slice of movie history to see their differences ::-)

Rope [1948]- Also a crime drama but the plot hinges on whether or not the main characters get caught. Watched this several times, i just love the tension, the homosexuality, also farley granger (who plays philip) is so pretty ::-)

The Fly [1958]- Creature feature about a guy whose experiments in teleportation go wrong. its fun to contrast this against the 1986 movie bc theyre so utterly different in execution, but the same in their core. both are fun if u enjoy watching a guy lose his humanity.

Eyes without a Face [1960]- French horror movie about a woman who is horribly scarred in an accident, and how her father deals with it. Sort of more on the mellow side for horror?

Carnival of Souls [1962]- Horror movie abt a woman who moves away to a city in Utah for a job as an organist. Deliciously atmospheric and psychological!!!<3 mary henry, more liek... marry me...

i like watching classics but one thing i have noticed is that often times classic movies are not great. they can be pretty hit or miss. but it is totally up to you to decide what hits and what misses.

#POINTS AT YOU REALLY LOUDLY thanks for the message <3 i facking love movies #original nonsense #personal #q&a #PLS IGNORE IM ANSWERING THJS AT. 2 AM !!!!!!#I LOVE movies but i might come back to this post if i rememver any that im pressed to mention. idk #i don't rewatch movies often at all so a lot of stuff i like i just remember that i watched it and liked it #and then i barely remember the movie itself lol.#okay goodnight.

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rockislandadultreads · 6 months

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Nonfiction Thursday: New Book Picks

Daughters of Latin America edited by Sandra Guzmán

Daughters of Latin America collects the intergenerational voices of Latine women across time and space, capturing the power, strength, and creativity of these visionary writers, leaders, scholars, and activists—including 24 Indigenous voices. Several authors featured are translated into English for the first time. Grammy, National Book Award, Cervantes, and Pulitzer Prize winners as well as a Nobel Laureate and the next generation of literary voices are among the stars of this essential collection, women whose work inspires and transforms us.

An eclectic and inclusive time capsule spanning centuries, genres, and geographical and linguistic diversity, Daughters of Latin America is divided into 13 parts representing the 13 Mayan Moons, each cycle honoring a different theme. Within its pages are poems from U.S. Poet Laureate Ada Limón and celebrated Cervantes Prize–winner Dulce María Loynaz; lyric essays from New York Times bestselling author Naima Coster, Pulitzer prize-winning playwright Quiara Alegría Hudes, and Guggenheim Fellow Maryse Condé; rousing speeches from U.S. Representative Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, and Lencan Indigenous land and water protector Berta Caceres; and a transcendent Mazatec chant from shaman and poet María Sabina testifying to the power of language as a cure, which opens the book.

He/She/They by Schuyler Bailar

Go‑to expert on gender identity, Schuyler Bailar, offers an essential, urgent guide that changes the conversation. Anti-transgender legislation is being introduced in state governments around the United States in record-breaking numbers. Trans people are under attack in sports, healthcare, school curriculum, bathrooms, bars, and nearly every walk of life. He/She/They clearly and compassionately addresses fundamental topics, from why being transgender is not a choice and why pronouns are important, to more complex issues including how gender-affirming healthcare can be lifesaving and why allowing trans youth to play sports is good for all kids. With a relatable narrative rooted in facts, science, and history, Schuyler helps restore common sense and humanity to a discussion that continues to be divisively coopted and deceptively politicized.

Schuyler Bailar didn’t set out to be an activist, but his very public transition to the Harvard men’s swim team put him in the spotlight. His choice to be open about his transition and share his experience has touched people around the world. His plain-spoken education has evolved into tireless advocacy for inclusion and collective liberation. In He/She/They, Schuyler uses storytelling and the art of conversation to give us the essential language and context of gender, meeting everyone where they are and paving the way for understanding, acceptance, and, most of all, connection.

The Golden Girls by Bernadette Giacomazzo

Over the course of seven years and 180 episodes, The Golden Girls altered the television landscape. For the first time in history, Americans (and, later, the rest of the world) were watching sexagenarians - and one octogenarian - leading active, vital lives. These were older women who had careers, families, lovers, and adventures, far from the matronly television characters of the past.

In The Golden Girls: A Cultural History, Bernadette Giacomazzo shows why this iconic sitcom is more than just comedy gold. She examines how, between all the laughs and the tales of St. Olaf, these women tackled tough issues of the time--issues that continue to resonate in the twenty-first century. From sexual harassment, ageism, and PTSD to AIDS, inter-racial relationships, and homosexuality, Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia weren't afraid to take on topics which were once considered taboo.

The Last Two by Boštjan Videmšek

Meet Najin and Fatu—the last of the northern white rhinos—as well as the scientists, conservationists, and rangers who are fighting for the species’ survival. The last two remaining northern white rhinos, an already functionally extinct species, are kept behind three electrical fences and protected by a squad of rangers at the Ol Pejeta Conservancy in Kenya. Both are descended from the last male northern white rhino, Sudan. Najin is his daughter, while Fatu is his granddaughter. Along with Sudan and another male named Suni, they were transferred to Kenya in 2009, in the hope that returning them to their natural habitat might help them regain their zest for life and reproduction.

Unfortunately, things didn’t go to plan. With the deaths of Sudan and Suni, the northern white rhinos’ destiny is now in the hands of their Kenyan caretakers and a team of scientists at the BioRescue international consortium, which is developing and using several different techniques to resurrect the species, including assisted reproduction and stem cell technologies. Will science prevail, or is it too late?

Journalists Boštjan Videmšek and Maja Prijatelj Videmšek explore this question by taking readers on a journey through the history of the northern white rhinos. They introduce the rangers, conservationists, and scientists fighting for the future of the northern white rhinos and dissect what led the species to the brink of extinction, from wars and climate change to poaching and the black market. The Last Two offers hope for the future of the environment and the fight to save the many species that call Earth home.

#nonfiction #new books #library books #reading recommendations #reading recs #book recommendations #book recs #tbr #tbr pile #to read #booklr #book tumblr #book blog #library blog #readers advisory

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whileiamdying · 7 months

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A Man With a Past Best Forgotten Goes to All Lengths to Remember

By Dave Kehr Jan. 23, 2004

Even by the lax standards of January film releases -- this month is the traditional dumping time for studio films that didn't quite work out -- ''The Butterfly Effect'' is staggeringly bad.

Starring Ashton Kutcher, the shaggy-haired young actor best known for ''Dude, Where's My Car?'' and for dating Demi Moore, ''Butterfly'' is a supposed thriller that mines the memory loss theme that has been turning up with striking regularity in American movies, from ''Memento'' to ''Paycheck.'' Mr. Kutcher's character, Evan Treborn, is an earnest college student whose life has been marked by a series of blackouts surrounding traumatic events. Majoring in psychology (he keeps a rat maze in his dorm room), he hopes to discover the reason behind the mysterious black holes in his mind.

Simple self-protection might be one possible explanation, given that his repressed memories include, as the film reveals in a spiraling series of flashbacks, being nearly strangled to death as an 8-year-old by his criminally insane father; being forced to participate in a child pornography video directed by the abusive father (Eric Stoltz) of the little girl, Kayleigh, he has a crush on; watching as a young woman and her baby are blown to bits in a practical joke gone wrong; and watching as the neighborhood bully, Tommy (who also happens to be Kayleigh's brother), ties Evan's beloved terrier up in a canvas bag and sets it on fire. That's a lot to handle right there, but the film's writing and directing team, Eric Bress and J. Mackye Gruber, have some even more appalling atrocities in store for Evan as a young adult.

For reasons the film does not trouble to explain, Evan discovers that, if he reads a few lines from his childhood journals, he will be projected back in time to his traumatic moments, where he can change his behavior in small ways that will make a big difference later on. (This is where the title comes in, with its reference to the old canard about a butterfly flapping its wings in China and producing a tidal wave in New York.)

Sometimes Evan's adjustments seem to work out, as when he awakes from a time-travel session to find himself sharing a sorority house bed with Kayleigh, now grown into a radiantly happy 18-year-old (played by Amy Smart). But mostly his changes just lead to greater disasters, including one alternate reality in which Kayleigh is a scarred, drug-addled prostitute, living in what looks like Jodi Foster's old digs in ''Taxi Driver,'' and another in which Evan loses his arms and the use of his legs.

The complicated plotting soon spins wildly out of the control of the filmmakers (their last credit: ''Final Destination 2'') and begins producing unintentional laughs, as when Evan wakes up to find himself the newest and prettiest resident of a prison full of predatory neo-Nazi homosexuals.

But if the storytelling induces brain cramp, the imagery brings on a bad case of acid indigestion. The filmmakers return again and again to their movie's most repulsive visuals: the two naked children standing before a video camera, the dog squirming in the flaming bag, the mother, with her baby in her arms, approaching the mailbox in which Tommy has planted a lighted stick of dynamite. ''The Butterfly Effect,'' which opens nationwide today, is inhabited by a genuine spirit of cruelty, both toward its characters and its audience.

''The Butterfly Effect'' has been rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). It includes several scenes of graphic violence, many directed against children and animals.

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

Written and directed by Eric Bress and J. Mackye Gruber; director of photography, Matthew F. Leonetti; edited by Peter Amundson; music by Michael Suby; production designer, Douglas Higgins; produced by Chris Bender, A. J. Dix, Anthony Rhulen and J C Spink; released by New Line Cinema. Running time: 113 minutes. This film is rated R.

WITH: Ashton Kutcher (Evan), Amy Smart (Kayleigh), Eric Stoltz (Mr. Miller), William Lee Scott (Tommy), Elden Henson (Lenny), Ethan Suplee (Thumper) and Melora Walters (Andrea).

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captainmdhridoyhossain-blog · 1 year

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[ad_1] Estimated learn time: 3-4 minsSALT LAKE CITY — Quin Snyder paused.It was once two hours sooner than tipoff and the Jazz head trainer was once requested what the plan was once for the middle place. See, all 4 of Utah's giant males were dominated out of Wednesday's sport towards Cleveland as COVID-19 continues to run in the course of the crew."Smartly," Snyder started, "it is a place."The remark drew laughs. Even Snyder smiled a little bit. It was once an admission of the perilous scenario the Jazz discovered themselves in. A crew whose gadget is constructed nearly totally round a large guy did not have one.If anything else, it made for a a laugh experiment.For a 1/2, the Jazz held their very own towards the longer and taller Cavaliers — the Japanese Convention upstarts have 3 gamers 6-foot-11 or taller of their beginning lineup — however in the end top received out.Cleveland went on a 21-0 run within the 3rd quarter on its option to a 111-91 victory Wednesday at Vivint Area.It was once the fourth immediately loss for the Jazz, all of which got here in the course of a COVID-19 outbreak.The Jazz have been with out Rudy Gobert, Rudy Homosexual, Hassan Whiteside, Udoka Azubuike, Elijah Hughes and Jared Butler because of sure COVID assessments. On best of that, 10-day gamers Norvel Pelle and Danuel Area Jr. have been out with non-COVID sicknesses.All in all, the Jazz had 10 gamers to be had at the beginning of the sport, and none of them have been over 6-foot-8. That quantity dropped to 9 when Joe Ingles was once ejected following two first-half technicals.That supposed Utah's gadget was once scrapped. On protection, there wasn't a participant to funnel anything else to. On offense, there wasn't a screener to get the whole lot transferring. So it was once a brand new glance Jazz."It is bizarre," stated Donovan Mitchell, who completed with 17 issues on 16 photographs. "If we are being fair, nowadays was once simply bizarre as hell."The crew switched the whole lot on protection and matchup hunted on offense. Unusually, it labored smartly sufficient for 2 quarters.Eric Paschall had 16 of his 18 issues within the first 1/2, bullying his approach into the paint and scoring over longer defenders, and the Jazz protection held up smartly sufficient. Utah was once down simply 58-52 on the 1/2.So what labored, precisely?In many ways, the Jazz did to the Cavs what many groups have carried out to them. They spaced out Cleveland's rim protectors to the corners after which put their heads down and drove to the paint."In the event that they stick with shooters, which they did, particularly early within the sport, we are gonna have the rim," Snyder stated. "So that you play another way."The Jazz had 18 issues within the paint within the first quarter by myself.Within the 3rd quarter, although, top received out. Cleveland went on a 21-0 run to position the clamps at the sport.Utah overlooked a number of open appears to be like and drives resulted in wild layup makes an attempt — now not a just right aggregate. At the different finish, Lamar Stevens was an not going hero and scored 13 immediately issues all over the run. He completed with 23 issues at the night time. Cavs superstar guard Darius Garland had a triple-double, which integrated 11 issues, 10 rebounds and a career-high 15 assists.For a Jazz crew with hardly ever any margin for error, it was once all an excessive amount of to triumph over, particularly since Utah struggled from the sector, capturing 40% and 34% from 3-point vary."It is difficult whilst you shouldn't have a 5 who is aware of the right way to play the 5 — Royce (O'Neale), EP did a lovely task preserving down the brand new guys got here in and did a lovely task of simply scrapping and competing. That is all we will do, given the instances," Mitchell stated.How lengthy will the ones instances final? The Jazz get a fortunate-timed 3 days off, which must give guys a while to get again — perhaps, then, the dropping streak can come to an finish.

×Extra tales you will be all in favour of [ad_2] #bizarre #facilities #Jazz #lose #4th #immediately #sport #loss #Cavs

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potteresque-ire · 3 years

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More ask answer about Word of Honour (山河令, WoH) and the so-called “Dangai 101 phenomenon” under the cut ~ with all the M/M relationships shown on screen, does it mean improved acceptance / safety for the c-queer community?

Due to its length (sorry!), I’ve divided the answer into 3 parts: 1) Background 2) Excerpts from the op-eds 3) Thoughts This post is PART 1 ❤️. As usual, please consider the opinions expressed as your local friendly fandomer sharing what they’ve learned, and should, in no ways, be viewed as necessarily true. :)

(TW: homophobic, hateful speech quoted)

After WoH had started airing, I had waited for one of China’s state-controlled media to publish opinion pieces about the show. Specifically, I’d like to know ~ what is the administration’s current take on Dangai (耽改), as a genre? How does it characterise the closeness of the same-sex leads—the closeness that is suppressed when the original IP, of the genre Danmei (耽美) was converted for visual media presentation?

This is important, as China is a country where the government’s attitude becomes the official public attitude. The state opinion pieces will be quoted and parroted, especially if they come from heavy-weight sources (state-controlled media also have their importance/influence hierarchy). Production of the upcoming Dangai dramas will adjust their scripts accordingly. Marketing tactics will also adjust, make sure it doesn’t spread “the wrong message”; Dangai and Danmei dramas have both been pulled off shelves during or immediately after its airing before (Addicted 上癮 and Guardian 鎮魂, respectively), despite having already passing the censorship board.

If a heavy-weight state opinion piece pans the one-lead-fawning-over-the-other scenes in WoH (there are a few of them), for example, scenes / lines of such suggestive nature will likely disappear from the upcoming Dangai dramas for at least a year or two. If the critique spills over to a harsh stance against the presence of queers in Chinese media, all future Dangai dramas can become strict “socialist-brotherhood” stories, their “no homo” message reinforced by, for example, by inserting a female lead (or changing one of the leads to female).

Whether the official public opinion equates the true public opinion or not, public behaviour in China is quickly driven by the official public opinion. Example: the Xi regime’s conservative stance on queer issues has already translated to a quick deterioration of queer tolerance in China; open expressions that were tolerated, even welcomed, just several years ago are now met with significant hostility in the public.

This is a reflection of the nature of their government. A quick thought experiment may explain this. Take … jaywalking. It’s probably fair to say we’ve all committed this “crime” before?

Will you still jaywalk if your government declares it immoral to do so? Where I am, in the United States, the answer is definitely a no. The public will probably laugh at (and make memes about) the poor official who made the declaration, kindly ask the government to do something useful for once (f*** off), and keep jaywalking.

Now, what if the declaration comes with a law that includes a one-year prison term + lifelong criminal record for jaywalking? Let’s say this law is fully executable and irreversible, given this being a thought experiment—nothing you, or the public, can say or do can contest it.

Will you still jaywalk, even if you disagree with government’s stance that the act is immoral? You’ve got a neighbour who continues to defy the law. Will you think twice before letting your young loved ones go out with them?

Very soon, jaywalking becomes “bad”—even though such “badness” had little moral basis at its origin. It is bad because the government has “characterised” it to be so—an authoritarian government that doesn’t allow challenge of the characterisation.

The retention of queer elements in Dangai is the jaywalking in the example. The Chinese government stepping in to characterise (定性) an event, a phenomenon etc is common, and the people know the drill well that they fall in line quickly.

If a powerful state-controlled media publish a negative opinion piece on the queer elements in Dangai / Danmei, therefore, those elements can disappear overnight.

My question had been: will the state do it? The Xi regime has made its distaste for LGBT+ representation in visual media abundantly clear with its NRTA directives. However, while the Chinese government typically puts ideology (意識型態) as its Guiding Principle, exceptions have always been made for one reason. One word.

Money.

TU is a legendary financial success story every production company (Tencent itself included) wants to replicate. As a result, there are ~ 60 Danmei IPs (book canon) with their copyright sold for Dangai dramas; this long line of Danmei dramas in the horizon has been nicknamed “Dangai 101”, after the name of the show “Produce 101” Dd was dance instructor in. These dramas are all competing to be the next TU by profit.

Adoration from fans is nice, but money is what matters.

C-ent is currently in a financial bleak winter. The anti-corruption, anti-tax-fraud campaign started by the Xi regime in 2018, which cumulated to a sudden (and unofficial) collection of 3 years of back-taxes from studios and stars, has drained a significant amount of its capital; the number of new TV dramas being filmed fell 45% between 2018 and 2019, and production companies have been closing by the tens of thousands. The tightening of censorship rules also means production is associated with more risk. The commercial sector outside c-ent is also eager for replications of TU’s success—they need more “top traffic” (頂流) idols like Gg and Dd whose fans are sufficiently devoted to drive the sales of their products. Such “fan economy” would benefit the government, even if it doesn’t have direct stakes in the companies in and outside c-ent. People’s Daily, the Official State Newspaper, previously published a positive opinion piece on fan economy in 2019, estimating its worth at 90 billion RMB (~13.7 billion USD) per year.

But if the state allows the queer elements in Dangai’s to pass the censorship board (NRTA) for profit, how can it do so with the current “No homo” directive in place? From previous experience (scarce as it may be), the queerness has to be sufficiently obvious for the shows to make the profit everyone is wishing for. Dangai dramas in which the leads’ romantic relationship remains subtle have not sold the way TU does, even if they are well-reviewed and feature famous, skilled actors (as Winter Begonia 鬓边不是海棠红 last year.)

NRTA, and the government behind it, can’t just say I’m turning a blind eye to the flirting and touching for the money. What can it say then?

Here’s what I’d thought—what it can say, or do, is to “characterise” these Dangai dramas in a way that leave out its queerness. It did so for TU. TU’s review by the overseas version of People’s Daily devoted a grand total of two characters to describe WWX and LWJ’s relationship—摯友 (“close friend”). The rest of the article was devoted to the drama’s aesthetics, its cultural roots. (The title of the article: 《陳情令》：書寫國風之美 Chen Qing Ling: Writing the Beauty of National Customs).

How could it do that? The State’s power ensuring few questioning voices aside, I’ve been also thinking about the history and definition of Danmei (耽美)—Dangai’s parent genre as the causes. Based on the history and definition, I can think of 3 ways the queer elements in Danmei (耽美) can be characterised by the state, 2 of which provide it with the wiggle room, the movable goalposts it needs should it choose to want to overlook the queerness in Dangai.

The 3 characterisations I’ve thought of, based on the history and definition of Danmei (耽美) are:

1) The queer characterisation, which focuses on its homoerotic element. * Summary of the characterization: Danmei is gay.

2) The “traditional BL” characterisation, which focuses on BL’s historic origin as a “by women, for women” genre. The M/M setup is viewed as an escapist protest against the patriarchy, a rejection of traditional gender roles; displays of M/M closeness are often “candies” for the female gaze. * Summary of the characterization: Danmei is women’s fantasy.

3) The aesthetic characterisation, which focuses on beauty—from the beauty of the characters, the beauty of a world without harm to the romance. * Summary for the characterization: Danmei is pretty.

The queer characterisation (1) is well-understood, and likely the default characterisation if it is to be made by the fraction of i-fandom I’m familiar with. Most i-fans I’ve met, myself included, would likely and automatically associate the M/M relationships in The Untamed (TU) and WoH with queerness.

The “traditional BL” characterisation (2), meanwhile, equates Danmei with BL as the genre of homoerotic works developed in 1970’s Japan for women comic readers, and has been widely interpreted from a feminist point of view.

Under such interpretation of “traditional BL” works, the double male lead setup wasn’t meant to be an accurate depiction of homosexuality. It wasn’t about homosexuality at all. Rather, it was about the removal of women and along with it, the rage, the eye-rolling, the unease women readers had often felt when attempting to interact with mainstream romance novels of the time, in which the female leads had mostly been confined to traditional women roles, and their virtue, their traditional feminine traits.

The M/M setup therefore acted as a “shell” for a het relationship that allowed removal of such social constraints placed on women. The lead with whom the woman audience identified was no longer bound to the traditional role of women, such as being the caregiver of the family. The lead could instead chase their dreams and roam the world, as many contemporary women already did or aspired to do; they were no longer limited to playing the passive party in life and in the relationship—and they enjoyed such freedom without risking the love, the respect the other male protagonist felt for them.

BL, in this traditional sense, has therefore been interpreted as an answer for, and a protest against the heteropatriarchal gender norm still dominant in societies deeply influenced by Confucianism, including Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, China. The M/M setup is, at heart, (het) women’s fantasy. The inclusion of two young-and-beautiful male leads also satisfy “the female gaze” ~ the popularity of BL among het women has therefore been compared to the popularity of lesbian porn among het men. In both cases, the audience is drawn not for the homosexual element but by the presence of double doses of sexual attraction.

(Please forgive me if any of my wording comes as disrespectful! I’m not used to talking about these topics.)

The availability of the “traditional BL” characterisation (2) is key to bypassing queerness as a topic in the discussions of Danmei (耽美).

The aesthetic characterisation (3) is very closely related to 2) in origin, but deserves its own point as a characterisation that can stand on its own, and may be more obscure to the English-speaking fandom given the common English translation of Danmei (耽美) as Boy’s Love.

Boy’s Love, as a name, amplifies the queer characterisation (1) and de-emphasises the aesthetic characterisation (3); Danmei (耽美), meanwhile, does the reverse.

Where does the name Danmei come from?

When BL was first developed in Japan, it used to have a now out-of-fashion genre name: Tanbi. Tanbi was borrowed from same name describing a late 19th century / early 20th century Japanese literary movement, known as Tanbi-ha and was inspired by Aestheticism in England. Aestheticism “centered around the doctrine that art exists for the sake of its beauty alone, and that it need serve no political, didactic, or other purpose”. Along the same line, the core belief of authors of Tanbi-ha was that art should celebrate beauty and reject the portrayal of ugliness in human nature, the darkness of reality:

…Tanbi writers argued that the ideas of naturalism writers such as “objectivism,” “truth is more important than beauty” and so on would “oppress human beings’ desire” so as to “lose beauty and human nature.” Accordingly, they insisted on “acute mental and emotional sensibility” [Ye, 2009].

(Source, with more details on Tanbi.)

Neither romance nor homosexuality were requirements for works in the original Tanbi-ha genre. BL borrowed the name Tanbi because its early authors saw their work created under the same principles: the emphasis on the beauty of their characters, their love (romantic and platonic), in a world that was also beautiful and untouched by ugliness such as sexism and homophobia.

The stubborn persistence on keeping one’s eyes trained on the beautiful, the willingness to turn a blind eye to reality for the sake of the beauty is built-in in the genre’s name. Tanbi meant more than beauty, aesthetics; its kanji form was written as 耽美; 耽 = to sink, drown in, to over-indulge in; 美 = beauty.

Tanbi, therefore, literally means to drown in, to over-indulge in beauty.

Over time, as the genre expanded its writing style, Tanbi eventually fell out of favour as BL’s genre name in Japan. However, as it gained popularity in the Sinosphere in the 1990s, starting with Taiwan and Hong Kong, the kanji of Tanbi was retained as the Chinese name of the genre.

In Mandarin Chinese, 耽美 is pronounced Danmei. A hyperfocus on the aesthetics, the utopian aspects of traditional BL is therefore retained in Danmei by its name. People’s Daily could therefore devote its review of TU on its aesthetics. Realism, including politics and all discussions of social issues, can therefore be swept aside in the name of respecting the genre’s tradition.

I’ve mostly been reading about and observing c-fandom, and I believe these 3 characterisations have all attracted its own kind of fans. Fans who care and talk about queer issues even when it isn’t encouraged by their sociopolitical environment, who shine a light upon these issues in their fan works. Fans who treat the M/M leads as if they were a traditional cishet couple, such as calling one of the leads 老婆 (wife) and assigning him biologically female functions when needed (via, for example, the ABO trope). Fans who insist the works must meet their beauty standards, rejecting those that fail (for example, if the leads are not good looking enough) by claiming they’re there for Danmei, not Danchou (耽醜, “over-indulgence on ugliness”). Fans who are drawn to the genre by a combination of these characterisations.

By the history and definition of the genre, all the above reasons for fanning Danmei are as valid, as legitimate as one another.

I thought about this related question then: are c-fans of the second (traditional BL characterisation) and third (aesthetic characterisation) groups homophobic? When I first asked this question, I—a fan whose fandom experience had been entirely in English-speaking communities—assume the answer was yes. I thought, in particular, the insistence of treating Danmei’s M/M couples as cishet couples in a homosexual shell had to be conscious queer erasure. How can anyone ignore the same-sexness of the leads? How can anyone talk about Danmei without associating it with homosexuality?

However, as I read more—again, specifically about c-fandom, and in Chinese—I realised the answer may be a little more complex.

Previously, I had largely thought about homophobia in terms of individual attitudes. This has to do with my current environment (liberal parts of the United States), in which the choice to accept or reject the queer community has become a close to personal choice. Pride flags fly all over the city, including the city hall, every summer, and most churches welcome the LGBT+ community. I hadn’t considered how an environment in which queers have never enjoyed full social exposure, in which education of related topics is sorely lacking, would affect Danmei’s development as a genre.

In such an environment, it is difficult for Danmei to evolve and incorporate up-to-date understanding of RL queerness.

The consequence I can see is this: Danmei is more likely to be “stuck” in its historical characterisation as (het) women’s fantasy inside than outside the Great Firewall, with its queerness de-emphasised if not erased—and it draws fans who are attracted to this kind of characterisation accordingly. This is, perhaps, reflected by the fact that the (het) women-to-queer ratio of Danmei / BL fans is significantly higher in China than in the West (Table 1 in this article summarises how Danmei / BL fans have split between different genders and sexual orientation in the Sinosphere vs the West in different research studies).

Another driving force I can see for Danmei to retain BL’s traditional feminist and aesthetic characterisations: women in China are not free from the social pressure that led to the birth of BL in 1970’s Japan. While many of them have achieved financial freedom through work and have high education, the young and educated have been subjected to immense pressure to get married and have children especially in the past decade.

In 2007, the China’s state feminist agency, the All-China Women’s Federation (中華全國婦女聯合會), coined the term 剩女 (literally, “leftover women”) for unmarried, urban women over 27 years old. The government started a campaign that, among other things, associated women’s education level with ugliness, and their unmarried status with pickiness, moral degeneracy. The reason behind the campaign: birth rates are plummeting and the state wants educated women, in particular, to nurture a high quality, next generation workforce. More importantly, the government sees a threat in the M/F sex imbalance (high M, low F) that has commonly been attributed to the country’s “one child policy” between 1979-2015, which encouraged female infanticide / abortion of female foetuses in a culture that favours surname-carrying boys. The state fears the unmarried men will become violent and/or gay, leading to “social instability and insecurity”. Therefore, it wants all women, in particular those who are educated, to enter the “wife pool” for these unmarried men. (Source 1, Source 2: Source 2 is a short, recommended read).

For Chinese women, therefore, patriarchy and sexism is far from over. Escapist fantasies where sexism is removed—by removing women from the picture—are therefore here to stay.

Danmei is therefore not queer literature (同志文學). The difference between Danmei and queer literature is highlighted by this reportedly popular saying (and its similar variations) in some Danmei communities:

異性戀只是傳宗接代，同性戀才是真愛 Heterosexuality is only for reproduction. Only homosexuality is true love.

The attitude towards heterosexuality is one of distaste, viewed as a means to an end the speaker has no interest in. On the contrary, homosexuality is idealised, reflecting the disregard / lack of understanding of some Danmei fans have towards the RL hardships of c-queers. The ignorance may be further propagated by gate-keeping by some Danmei fans for safety reasons, keeping queer discussions away from their communities for fear that their favourite hangouts would meet the same uncertain fate of other communities that previously held open queer discussions, such as the Weibo gay and lesbian supertopics. Such gatekeeping can, again, be easily enforced using tradition as argument: the beauty 美 is Tanbi and Danmei (耽美), remember, includes the beauty of utopia, where ugly truths such as discrimination do not enter the picture. A Danmei that explores, for example, the difficulty of coming out of the closet is no longer Danmei, by its historical, aesthetic definition.

[I’ve therefore read about c-queers viewing Danmei with suspicion, if not downright hostility; they believe the genre, by ignoring their RL challenges and casting them as beautiful, even perfect individuals, and in some cases, by fetishising them and their relationships, only leads to more misconceptions about the queer community. Dangai, meanwhile, has been viewed with even more distaste as potential weapons by the state to keep gays in the closet; if the government can shove the Danmei characters into the “socialist brotherhood” closet, it can shove them as well.

I haven’t yet, however, been able to tease out the approximate fraction of c-queers whose views of Danmei and Dangai is negative. The opposing, positive view of the genres is this: they still provide LGBT+ visibility, which is better than none and it would’ve been close to none without Danmei and Dangai; while Danmei may skim over the hardships of being queer, fan works of Danmei are free to explore them—and they have.

This article provides insights on this issue. @peekbackstage’s conversation with a Chinese film/TV director in Clubhouse is also well worth a read.]

That said, Danmei can only be dissociated from the queer characterisation if there’s a way to talk about the genre without evoking words and phrases that suggest homosexuality—something that is difficult to do with English. Is there?

In Chinese, I’d venture to say … almost. There’s almost a way. Close enough to pass.

The fact that M/M in traditional BL has been developed and viewed not as queer but as a removal of F also means this: queerness isn’t “built-in” into the language of Danmei. The name Danmei itself already bypasses a major “queer checkpoint”: it’s impossible to refer to a genre called Boy’s Love and not think about homosexuality.

Here’s one more important example of such bypass. Please let me, as an excuse to put these beautiful smiles in my blog, show this classic moment from TU; this can be any gif in which the leads are performing such suggestive romantic gestures:

How can I describe this succinctly? In English?

Two men acting in love? Er. That’s… the definition of gay, almost.

Two men acting gay? Well. GAY.

Right. Fine. Let’s go negative. Queerbaiting? … Still gay, because the word “queer” is in there.

[Pie note: for the record, I don’t think TU or WoH is queer-baiting.]

Personally, I find it impossible to describe the GIF above in English that I do not automatically associate with RL romantic love between two men, with homosexuality. But can I do it in Chinese?

… Yes.

There’s a term, 賣腐 (pronounced “maifu”), literally, “selling 賣 the rot 腐”, derived from the term known among i-fans as fujoshi and written, in kanji, as 腐女. Fujoshi, or 腐 (“rot”) 女 (“women”), describes the largely (het) female audience of the Japanese BL genre (>80%, according to Wikipedia). Originated as a misogynistic insult towards female Japanese BL fans in the 2000s, fujoshi was later reclaimed by the same female BL fans who now use the self-depreciative term as acknowledgement of their interest being “rotten”, for BL’s disregard of the society’s traditional expectations on women.

賣腐 is therefore to “sell the rot” to the rotten women; ie. the suggestive romantic gestures, exemplified by the GIF above, between the M/M leads are catering, performing fan service to their target audience.

[賣腐 is also a term one will see in the state opinion pieces.]

There’s nothing gay about this term.

I’ve therefore found it possible to talk and think in Chinese about Danmei while giving little thought to queerness. The history and definition of Danmei allow that.

Again, I’m not saying any of this to excuse homophobia among in Danmei and Dangai fandoms. The point I’m trying to make is this — given that Danmei has three potential characterisations, two of which can be discussed without abundantly evoking queer concepts and vocabularies, given that history of Danmei, as a genre, already favoured characterisation 2 (traditional BL), the government addressing homosexuality in its opinions on Danmei and Dangai is far from a given.

By extension, the popularity of Dangai may mean a lot or little to c-queers; by extension, the state can approve / disapprove of Danmei and Dangai in a manner independent of its stance on homosexuality, which is itself inconsistent and at times, logic-deying (example to come…).

This is both good and bad, from the perspective of both the government and the c-queer community.

For the government: as discussed, the “triality” of Danmei allows the state to “move the goalpost” depending on what it tries to achieve. It has characterisations 2 (the traditional BL characterisation) and 3 (the aesthetic characterisation) as excuses to let Dangai dramas pass the censorship board should it want their profit and also, their promise of expanding the country’s soft power overseas by drawing an international audience. These characterisations also allow the state to throw cold water on the popularity of Danmei / Dangai should it desire, for reasons other than its queer suggestions—despite the Xi regime’s push against open expressions of queerness (including by activism, in media), it has also been careful about not demonising c-queers in words, and has countered other people’s attempts to do so.

Why may the government want to throw cold water on Danmei and Dangai? They are still subculture, which the state has also viewed with suspicion. In 2018, a NRTA directive explicitly requested that “c-ent programmes should not use entertainers with tattoos; (those associated with) hip-hop culture, sub-cultures (non-mainstream cultures), decadent cultures.” (”另外，总局明确要求节目中纹身艺人、嘻哈文化、亚文化（非主流文化）、丧文化（颓废文化）不用。”).

Subculture isn’t “core socialist values”. More importantly, it’s difficult to keep up with and control subculture. 環球網, the website co-owned by People’s Daily and Global Times (環球時報), ie, The State Newspaper and The State Tabloid, famously said this on its Weibo, on 2020/03/04, re: 227:

老了，没看懂为什么战。晚安。 Getting old. Can’t figure out what the war is about. Good night.

The State also cannot stop subculture from happening. It doesn’t have the resources to quell every single thing that become popular among its population of 1.4 billion. What it can do to make sure these subcultures stay subcultures, kept out of sight and mind of the general public.

Characterisation 1 (the queer characterisation), meanwhile, remains available to the state should it wish to drop the axe on Dangai for its queer elements. I’m including, as “queer elements”, presentation of men as too “feminine” for the state—which has remained a sore point for the government. This axe have a reason to drop in the upcoming months: July 23rd, 2021 will be the 100th birthday of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), and the state may desire to have only uniformed forces and muscled, gun-toting “masculine” men gracing the screens.

What about for c-queers and their supporters (including group I fans)? What good and bad can the multiple characterisations of the genres do for them?

For c-queers and their supporters (including group I fans), their acceptance and safety are helped by the Dangai genre, by the Dangai 101 phenomenon, if and only if the state both characterises the queer elements in these dramas as queer (characterisation 1) AND their opinions of them are positive.

Personally, I had viewed this to be unlikely from the start, because a queer characterisation would mean the censorship board has failed to do its job, which is embarrassing for the Chinese government.

Characterisations 2) and 3) are not bad for c-queers and their supporters, however, and definitely not “enemies” of Characterisation 1); they can not only serve as covers for the queer elements in Dangai to reach their audience, but also, they can act as protective padding for the LGBT+ community if the content or (very aggressive) marketing of the Dangai dramas displease the government — with the understanding, again, that the “traditional BL” arm of the Danmei community is itself also highly vulnerable by being a subculture, and so its padding effect is limited and it also deserves protection.

The downside to achieving LGBT+ visibility through Dangai is, of course and as mentioned, that these dramas are, ultimately, deeply unrealistic depictions of the c-queers. The promotion of these dramas, which has focused on physical interactions between the male leads for “candies”, can encourage even more fetishising of queers and queer relationships. The associated (character) CP culture that makes and breaks CPs based on the dramas’ airing cycle may also fuel negative perception of queer relationships as attention-seeking behaviour, something that can be initiated and terminated at will and for the right price.

Finally, with all this said, which characterisation(s) have the government taken re: Dangai and/or WOH? And what opinions has it given to its characterisations?

PART 1 <-- YOU ARE HERE PART 2 PART 3

#pie metas #yizhan #bjyx

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heartoftheserpent · 2 years

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Dumbledore Bros anon here - Amazing post and I agree with everything you said!! The description of what caused the three way duel is so vague in the books and Aberforth calling Albus and/or Gellert a slur makes so much sense. The whole "Albus learn't lies and secrets at our mothers knee" has me wondering if Ariana was the product of an affair?? She doesn't seem to look much like the boys in the book description. Really interested in your Kendra/Percival thoughts as well... :)

I also do want to add (because I forgot to) that bit where Aberforth mentions that he saw everything that happened in that house - everything. It does genuinely feel to me like he is trying to shame Albus for what he and Gellert were to each other. Like, dude, if my sister dated a scumbag I wouldn't bring up thirty years later that she did in fact have sex with him whenever I was mad. But of course, it's very easy to bring out that shame and self-loathing in Albus - and of course, that's weaponized often against queer people in general. "Don't forget, I know what you are, I know what you did."

Even if male homosexuality is treated differently in the wizarding world than the Muggle world at the time, Mould-on-the-Wold and Godric's Hollow were both mixed villages, with Muggles living there side by side. There's cultural bleedover for sure.

After some thoughts on the subject, here's where I'm landing on "secrets and lies" stuff: I think Aberforth was very affected by the sudden shift in the family paradigm when they moved. I think it was really really hard for him to adjust to the transition from "mildly eccentric family living happily together" to "father in prison, sister unstable," and I think he resented that Kendra and Albus were able to make that switch with what to Aberforth looked like relative ease. They were able to adapt to this new dynamic, both being clever, being good actors, and frankly they both had so much responsibility (as the Only Parent Left and the Oldest Child) that they didn't have a choice. Aberforth, whose mind doesn't quite work the same way (see @trothplighted for some truly excellent Dumbledore family ND headcanons), must have felt like The Only Sane Man for having trouble accepting this new way of life.

FULL DISCLOSURE, my Kendra and Percival headcanons are not based on ANYTHING, these are Full Blorbos based on the fact that I've loved them without any canon content for 15 years so I had to make my own (with, again, significant aid from Troth, with whom I share most or all of my headcanons, because being friends in fandom for a long time will do that to you). Frankly I don't even know where these headcanons came from, but.

Percival in my hc had a difficult relationship with his family and his Expected Place, and wound up running away to the New World. Kendra similarly had ditched her family when they tried to pressure her into marriage, and disguised herself as a boy. The two of them met while they were riding the rails, both hopping trains around the Canadian Pacific Railway in the early 1880s. The romanticization of that lifestyle for young people is usually really overblown, since it was incredibly dangerous and usually short-lived. However, I think for two young wizards it might have been a lot different.

They eventually met and fell in love, Kendra comes clean about being a girl, Percy doesn't care, they wind up bumming around the country getting into trouble and laughing it off for a few years. Percy gets an owl that his father has died and left him some property back in England, which he ignores - until he and Kendra accidentally get into too much trouble, and suddenly, retiring to a quiet life in England to hide doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

I see their first few years in England as the both of them working very hard to Play Their Roles - Percy trying to figure out how to be a Dad and a British Man when it's everything he ran away from, Kendra trying to figure out on the fly how to be a Wife and a Mom and a British Witch, both of them startled that they're pulling it off, even more startled that they really like their quiet lives as parents.

All of that is COMPLETE fabrication because I Like It. Here's the bit where I think I have more of a leg to stand on: I think the weird "The Dumbledores are an important family" thing is Gellert ascribing importance to himself, they're important to HIM. They're an old magical family, but they're not powerful or wealthy or influential.

Case in point, Percival.

Because if three boys (in my hc they're 15-17) are able to burst into your garden and hurt your daughter so badly she's never the same again, if you're so afraid of your daughter being taken away from you that you have no other recourse, you're NOT a powerful, influential family. Someone like the Blacks or the Malfoys could have simply put Ariana on their private estate somewhere, or bribed Ministry officials to have her "overlooked," or never have been vulnerable at all in the first place.

My further headcanon is that the reason he killed the boys rather than modify their memories is that they were attempting to blackmail the Dumbledores, to out them as freaks and weirdoes to the rest of the town or even the authorities, and he was afraid they'd left letters or written proof that would jog their memories (he's not that gifted at Memory charms). Percy knew he'd go to Azkaban for it, isn't a violent man, but saw it as protecting his daughter from being locked up her whole life. And. Frankly. Seeing them again, knowing what they did to Ariana, I don't think it was that hard for him to summon the killing curse.

(and for maximum pain, I hc that he didn't have any bad memories with Kendra, so he forgot her completely in Azkaban when the Dementors took all his happy memories. :) )

#once again i went on far too long #Dumbledore family #asks

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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

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Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, queer. While the LGBTQ+ label continues to expand with the increasing awareness of sexual and gender identities, we are not yet seeing this awareness extend to our screens. While we are seeing an uptick in positive, empathetic stories of homosexual characters, those characters whose sexualities are not so neatly black or white (or pink, lavender, and blue), are still depicted as confused, sexually deviant, or greedy – if they are even depicted at all. While a more fluid take on sexuality is trickling into more mainstream media, it is often done so without seeing the need for ‘labels’, ignoring an entire subgroup of the queer community who long to see themselves not only portrayed on screen but portrayed correctly and proudly.

Bisexual Erasure – “A pit stop on the way to homo” – Perpetuating Negative Stereotypes:

The 1990s and 2000s saw a number of new media hit screens that aimed to not only appeal to the queer community but to educate those outside of it as well. Joss Whedon’s landmark show Buffy the Vampire Slayer displayed the first on-screen lesbian kiss, while shows such as Will & Grace and The L Word put gay and lesbian characters to the forefront of serial narratives. While borderline revolutionary for their time, such shows now seem outdated in a time where sexuality is understood to more fluid than simply gay or straight.

Buffy’s Willow Rosenberg came out as gay after her first relationship with a woman, discarding that she had a strong emotional and physical connection to her previous boyfriend, Oz, for two and a half seasons. The 2005 drama Brokeback Mountain is often described as a romance between two gay men, similarly dismissing that both Ennis and Jack are married to women towards whom they display attraction. Katherine Mayfair of Desperate Housewives suffered a similar fate, jumping straight to believing she might be gay after her first sexual experience with another woman despite a lifetime of heterosexual relationships, with bisexuality not proffered, or even mentioned, as an option.

While the words bisexual or pansexual were never mentioned in any of these narratives, others discussed it to their detriment. Will Truman, from the now at times dated Will & Grace, referred to pansexuality as “a pit stop on the way to homo”, contributing to the common myth that bisexual or pansexual people are confused or can’t yet admit to themselves that they are gay. Friends works this line into one of Phoebe Buffay’s songs for a laugh; “And then there are bisexuals, but some just say they’re kidding themselves.”

Sex and the City also contributed to negative bisexual and pansexual myths, with Carrie Bradshaw referring to bisexuality as ‘double-dipping’ and ‘greedy’. This is another common stereotype of the bisexual. Returning to Desperate Housewives, in the episode I Know Things Now, bisexual character Peter McMillan ended up cheating on Bree with her teenage son, Andrew. HBO’s True Blood also contained a number of bisexual characters including Eric Northman and Pamela Swynford De Beaufort, whose homosexual scenes were played as kinky or deviant, saving the romance for the heterosexual couples.

“I like hot people!” – is casual sexuality progress?

A more modern approach has been taken in recent years, showing sexuality as more fluid than the rigid homosexual or heterosexual labels. But is this really a step in the right direction? Piper Chapman from Orange is the New Black is shown having serious relationships with both fiancé Larry Broom and ex-girlfriend Alex Vause, without once describing herself as bisexual. The closest we are given is Piper explaining that “I like hot people!” In The Good Place, Eleanor Shellstrop’s attraction to Tahani, Janet and Simone is made clear, but is used only as a comedic landing-place, with Eleanor’s sexuality going undefined and unexplored. While this take on sexuality as a place without labels is refreshing and a step up from the representation of the bisexual as deviant or confused, it leaves the need bisexual and pansexual people have to see themselves on screen unfulfilled.

Even shows that pride themselves on being progressive in their representation of sexuality can be found complicit in bisexual erasure. Fox’s popular musical drama Glee dedicated much of its screen time to Kirk Hummel’s struggles as an openly gay teenager in Ohio and Santana Lopez’s struggles to accept herself as a lesbian, but bisexual character Brittany S. Pierce is denied this same careful treatment and seemed to come to terms with her sexuality remarkably quickly in comparison.

“Letting my bi flag fly” – getting it right

All this isn’t to say that bisexuals are never represented correctly. Brooklyn Nine Nine’s Rosa Diaz, played by bisexual actress Stephenie Beatriz, is not only given a coming-out story – something bisexual and pansexual characters are often denied – but the struggles of her coming to grips with her sexuality are also displayed in full with understanding and tolerance. The brush off of “You’re gay, so it’s not a big deal,” applied to many members of the queer community who do not fit neatly under a homosexual label, is debunked here. Not only is Rosa given a coming-out story at her workplace, which is fielded by her colleagues with grace and acceptance, but she is also given one to her parents, causing a rift between her and her mother when Rosa insists that she has an equal chance of ending up with a woman as with a man.

The CW’s Crazy Ex-Girlfriend features a total of three bisexual characters over the course of its four-season run, most prominently Darryl Whitefeather. After divorcing his wife after a long-term marriage, Darryl is confused when he becomes attracted to White Josh and begins to question if he’s gay. This journey to discovering his bisexuality culminates in the celebratory musical number Getting Bi, the lyrics of which debunk the myth that bisexuals are confused, indecisive, or sexually deviant. It is important to note that this song is also a coming-out story, which is a refreshing change to the idea that coming to terms with being bi or pan is easy or without confusion.

Pansexual characters are also starting to find a name for themselves in mainstream media. Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy is most likely pansexual, although once again this comes without explanation or labels, denying the pansexual community visibility on screen. This is not the case in either Sex Education or Schitt’s Creek. Sex Education, which also sees Adam Groff come to terms with his bisexuality, gives Ola Nyman not only a journey of self-discovery with her sexual identity but a journey that culminates in a neatly worked-in definition of pansexuality. Schitt’s Creek takes a more nuanced but by no means less helpful approach with the now-iconic wine bottle analogy. David Rose, who has long since known he is pansexual, describes his sexuality tidily and succinctly as “I like the wine but not the label.”

We’re making progress. We’re increasingly seeing not only a wider range of sexualities and genders enter our content, but we are also seeing LGBTQIA+ characters be more than victims, stereotypes, or defined only by their labels. While it’s important to have such characters in narratives be more than their sexuality, it is equally important to depict these sexualities correctly and visibly. While films and shows may be getting better at giving us the wine, sometimes we do like the labels to be there as well.

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lifewithdavefarts · 3 years

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DaveFarts - Episode 1 “FartsApp” [Episode List] Since he’s a gassy nerd, Dave teases his friend Tim via WhatsApp by sending him a series of short videos of him farting.

FartsApp

Being gay with a fart fetish is really hard sometimes.

For me at least.

While the world is definitely getting more open-minded about homosexuality, I can’t really force it to accept this weird fetish (to be honest, all fetishes are kinda treated like taboos, regardless of the sexuality involved). I had to settle for YouTube videos or websites devoted to this whole fart-sniffing thing; not that I’m complaining: it was good to discover that so many people actually had this fetish.

Cue Dave. Well, sort of, actually. He doesn’t have a fart fetish and he’s not even gay. Dave has been my best friend since forever. Unlike me, however, he’s straight and is currently dating some (lucky) girl.

Around my age, he’s like a brother to me, and we’re actually well-known because of how much time we always spend with each other.

Dave is a great guy, a great friend, very open-minded and, dare to say it, actually quite hot.

Not surprisingly, being the brother I never had, he’s the first friend I came out to, the only one who knows about my homosexuality. Actually, it’s not like I told him… he found out on his own, in the worst possible way (for me).

During one of our nerdy game-nights, being “that one gassy friend”, Dave started to rip -as usual- tons of farts, fueled by some junk food, until he ripped one directly in my face (and boy it was amazing…). Everything went downhill from there… kinda. For some reason or another… he just accepted all at once not only my homosexuality, but also the fact that I found face-farting… hot. He just laughed about it and honestly gave me some encouraging words about my peculiar situation, proving that he’s indeed the best friend ever. Oh… and he also literally farted for me after that, in my face, letting me sniff and enjoy his amazing rips; he can also fart on command apparently: got a taste of his talent that same night.

That one, surreal night.

I still can’t believe it happened.

Felt like a confused dream. Like one of those nights where you drink too much so you don’t clearly remember what happened. But it was all true.

Dave, my best friend, was perfectly fine with me, my fetish, and all this weird stuff.

Yes: I know how lucky I am.

It’s been 4 months since he found out.

And, believe it or not, I’m getting face-farted so often that I’m almost forgetting how beautiful it feels.

Seriously: Dave simply accepted it like I’m living in someone’s crazy fetish dream and, when we’re alone, he just casually farts in my face (without me asking for it). Not always, but very often.

Surprisingly enough, despite the fact that my nose spends a lot of time brushing against his denim-covered butt, our friendship didn’t change at all though: we still hang out with the rest of our friends and generally spend a lot of time together.

Sometimes I’m so in disbelief about how easy-going he’s been with me, that I randomly ask him “You sure you’re OK with… this?” (I say, gesturing all of me), but he just smiles or rolls his eyes annoyed, tired of hearing the same question over and over again. What can I say? He’s perfectly comfortable with his own sexuality I guess, so he doesn’t have any problem with my fetish.

Sometimes though -sorry I say this- I kinda wish he did…

No, I’m definitely not complaining. That’s the best possible scenario for me, but sometimes he can get a bit too… inopportune. Dave is not really a prankster, but he loves teasing his friends, just for fun, including me.

I was in the middle of an important exam once, one of these pop-quiz thingies that make zero sense, and I felt my phone vibrate. I checked my FB private messages and all I saw was this YouTube link sent by Dave. Since I’m a fool apparently, I clicked on it, and one of those popular YouTube fart videos popped up and played, one with really loud farts. The first fart actually echoed in the room and other students glared at me: never felt so embarrassed (not including the night Dave found out about my fetish).

“Dude! Stop sending me this stuff!” I texted him. “I’m in the middle of an exam here!”

I scolded him for this, but the truth is that I couldn’t ask for a friend more open-minded than him.

The fact that he teases him with fart videos like he teases our heterosexual friends with those “shock” porn pics made me feel more… accepted.

But still… I was in the middle of an important exam so he had to stop.

And he obviously didn’t.

He sent me like 10 other links, just to annoy the sh%t out of me.

I mocked him by texting something like “Those videos are quite hard to find. Guess you’re gay too then!” but he would reply with “I had a great teacher!” and send me one of my awkward photos from Facebook.

Other times, since our friendship didn’t change a bit, he even made random references to my homosexuality or even my fart fetish when messaging me to make plans for the night (especially during the weekend). This mostly happens on WhatsApp:

Dave: “Dude, you have to come with us. Stop being a whiny little bi*ch and get up from that couch!”

Tim: “Sorry, man. I don’t think I’ll be joining you tonight…”

Dave: “You know what? If you don’t come with us… you’re gay!”

Dave: “Sorry, I mean… if you don’t come with us, you’re a fuc*ing heterosexual!

Dave: "U ride pussy, don’t you? Fuc*ing straight people!”

He was obviously being sarcastic, but I just loved how he adapted his… uhm… “humor” to my situation.

One time, however, things got a bit… hotter for me…

Dave: “Dude, come over. We have a lot to study…”

Tim: “Sorry, really can’t today. Aren’t you with Dana right now anyway?”

Dave: “I need somebody to focus with, not focus on. You know me and Dana always end up in bed after like 20 minutes.”

Dave: “It’s awesome but this stuff ain’t gonna study itself…”

Yep. Dave and his girlfriend Dana apparently had a very active sex life.

Glad he was getting laid. And Dana was pretty cool to be honest.

Tim: “Dave, sorry. Maybe tomorrow, k?”

Dave: “Dude! Come on! I’m farting like crazy today!”

Did… did he just try to “bribe” me using his farting abilities?

Dave: “Seriously. I just ripped one that was like 10 seconds long. What a waste of farts!”

Tim: “Dave… are you crazy?”

Took a couple of minutes to reply to that one, and then I got two messages at once.

Dave: “Oh yessss, Tim, crazy for youuuuuu!” he wrote, with a heart emoticon at the end (again, he’s a sassy bi*ch as usual).

I then saw that WhatsApp was loading a video sent by him, an actual video, not a link.

It was Dave, a smirk drawn on his face while staring at the camera. He was wearing a simple black shirt. The view soon moved and I saw his slightly sagging-butt in jeans sitting on a wooden chair, and then heard this big fart echoing in his living room (he was alone), rumbling loudly and hard on the wooden surface. He even turned the camera to his face while he was forcing the “classic”-sounding fart out, making funny facial expressions; indeed, the fart lasted almost 10 seconds, and I obviously loved that: biggest farts I’ve ever heard from him in awhile! It was like watching those funny fartvines on… well… Vine, but having my best friend as the funny/hot farter this time.

Dave: “Hope that convinced you…” he then texted.

I was kinda… “offended” by that last message.

I mean, yeah, I seriously wanted to be there, but I always love spending time with Dave, farts or not (that’s why we’ve been friends since… forever).

Tim: “Are you seriously using farts to buy my friendship? It’s not like I don’t want to study with you. I just can’t today!”

Was that too harsh? Should I have added a smiley face at the end?

Only thing I was sure of, is that I never thought that a sentence like that would even make sense someday.

And I was still bewildered by how Dave was so comfortable with the fact that I loved farts.

Tim: “You don’t need farts to convince me, Dave. More like… you’re making me suffer!” I joked, finally breaking the ice myself with a reference to my embarrassing fetish, proving that I indeed wanted to be there with him, enjoying those farts.

Another couple of minutes passed.

Was he making another…?

Dave: “I know you’re suffering, Tim. Don’t worry. That’s why I’m sending you this.”

Oh boy, another video. Should I play it? Was he aware that I was getting a boner from all of this?

I literally pitched a tent in my pants.

There… it’s Dave again, this time sitting on the couch. The video started with his face winking at the camera with a sly smile; the camera then moved between his legs and slowly panned towards his butt in loose jeans (he probably put his legs on the small table in front of his couch, to make his butt more visible). Now I had a rather unique (and hot -for me) view of both his butt (and part of his crotch) in jeans and his face. He grinned wildly and the fart began, ripped right in front of the phone. The sound and the views were perfect; Dave moved the camera towards his butt as the fart kept going strong, sounding like a deep trumpet; I could see the detailed blue fabric of his jeans as the funny sounds continued. What a lucky phone!

It lasted around 8 seconds and it was simply the hotness.

The video ended with Dave laughing at the camera and all went pitch black.

Tim: “You’re insane, Dave!” I joked again, enjoying how crazy he was about this. And for me I guess.

But I had to tell him.

Tim: “Dave, you do know that all of this gave me a… well…”

But as I was halfheartedly writing the second part of the message, Dave wrote more stuff.

Dave: “Then go beat your meat! I can’t do everything for you, Tim.”

Dave: “And please don’t act like this is some kind of big deal…

Dave: "Wow, Tim got a boner! How impressive!”

Dave: “Let’s all bow to Tim, the mighty guy whose penis can turn bigger!”

Dave: “Behold, the Great Tim! The guy who once had a boner and had to tell everyone!”

Further proof that Dave was being the best friend ever.

He was clearly being sarcastic; he was joking. That was his way of telling me “Nah bro, it’s all good”. And I was kinda surprised that he was so… chill about this stuff. I literally had a boner because of him and he just… didn’t care. As I said, he’s very open minded and perfectly comfortable with his own sexuality, so he didn’t have the irrational fear of “turning gay” when doing this stuff with and for me. I also appreciated that he trusted me with those funny, but otherwise embarrassing videos.

After one or two minutes, I’ve received one big audio file and I just knew what I was going to get when I clicked the triangular-shaped button to play them.

I heard Dave singing my name like he was some kind of serial killer trying to find me.

Dave: “Tim… come here…”

I then heard a series of muffled noises, as if the camera was being put under something, and it was clear what: I in fact then heard the loud, audio-glitching sound of one big fart that lasted around four seconds.

Dave: “He’s waiting for you…” he sung again in that creepy tone of voice.

Another fart, just as big as the first one.

He was on fire that day!

Now I was both laughing like an idiot and having the biggest boner.

Tim: “Dude, you’re on fire! But… to be honest, that was kinda gay…” I chuckled.

Dave: “Says the guy who gets a boner when he hears a fart. You fuc*ing hypocrite.”

He then sent yet another audio file, with him singing that meme-song “I’m gay, gay, gay, I love long big c*cks”, but slightly changing the lyrics. He even put a karaoke version of it on his computer while recording the audio file.

Dave: “You are gay, gay gay, you love long big farts. ‘cuz you’re supah-super gay, and you love big…”

Fittingly enough, a huge fart from my best friend took over the last part of the song. Loud as usual, sounding like a deep chainsaw. I could just imagine how beautiful that was. But the best part was probably the fact that he was definitely farting for me. I know, not your usual “hot sexy” scenario… more like a “sweet” one, in a very twisted way of course.

I wasn’t obviously offended by that “gay song”, since I knew that Dave was just being silly as usual and his mocking words were definitely not mean-spirited.

Tim: “Aren’t you supposed to be studying right now?” I asked.

Dave: “I don’t know, aren’t you supposed to be here right now?”

Tim: “Dude, seriously. Thank you! But I’m serious… I really can’t today.”

Dave: “Alright… alright… cya tonight faggot…” he wrote, with a heart-shaped emoticon at the end.

I just rolled my eyes and chuckled a bit, then drove my attention to my own books.

This was going to be a long afternoon. But after only one minute of silence, my phone vibrated wildly: it was Dave and he was calling me. Very unusual in that moment.

“Uhm… Dave? Hello?” I picked up.

I was greeted by a series of “Dude, sorry!” and I was really confused.

“Dave… what?”

It was just Dave being adorkable I guess.

“Dude, sorry about that 'faggot'… that was bit too much, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

I laughed in disbelief. “Bro, it’s OK. I’m not offended. I know you didn’t want to insult me or anything…”

“No, Tim. That one word is not a joke and I shouldn’t have used it, sorry.”

I was just… wow. Dave went from “dominant friendly farter” to “adorable/awkward confused puppy” in mere seconds. Further proof that I was the luckiest guy alive (fetish or not): Dave cared so much for me that he even apologized for the “f-word”, which admittedly is a very bad word for a guy like me. But this time it was coming from Dave, my best friend, a guy who cares so much about me that he would even “censor” his language just to avoid unfortunate implications.

Ironically enough, the roles were switched, and he was the one saying a rapid-fire series of “sorry!” this time.

“Dave, quit with the apologizing. You’re the best.” I chuckled. “We’re bros, that’s what we do: we insult each other!”

“Alright… you sure? Not going to use that word ever again though.”

“Dave… it’s OK. You’re the best.”

“OK… OK. See you tonight. Take care.”

And he hang up.

He just wanted to make sure that he didn’t accidentally offend me by calling me a “fag”.

I would have been, if it wasn’t coming from Dave.

But then again, he also said that he was going to kick in the face whoever dared to insult me.

And he said that before he found out the truth about me: he’s always been quite protective.

“Oh come on!” I shouted, almost annoyed, merely five minutes later, when I heard the phone vibrate one more time.

It was Dave. Again.

He sent another video.

I tried to scoff at it but I was obviously loving all of this instead.

He was lying on the couch, the camera focusing on his butt in jeans. I could see both his face and butt, at the same time. It was like he filmed the video imagining my POV when he farted in my face, and I absolutely enjoyed that.

“Alright, Tim… Sorry for calling you a faggot.” he spoke in a “comically” serious voice. He truly was “sorry”, but it was clear that he was trying not to laugh. “I’m really, really sorry, believe me.”

Keeping a straight face, he ripped an incredibly loud, deep fart at the camera. He didn’t bat an eye, blink or smile. He eventually lost it towards the end of that 6-seconds long blast. He chuckled a bit and then turned “serious” again.

“That was a sad fart… we’re both sorry.”

He then closed his eyes and made a funny face, signing in relief as he ripped another long fart, the lucky camera slowly panning towards the seams and textures of the blue denim covering his powerful sagging butt. It lasted almost 10 seconds: truly a fart master. And those weren’t even on command!

“Oh my…” I whispered, staring in awe at the amazing video.

“This one was on the house…” he chuckled, right before turning the phone to his butt one last time and ripping a short series of toots, grinning wildly, clearly forcing those smaller farts out just for me. And that was it.

My boner was definitely wet now as bits of that well-known white substance poured from the tip of of my “standing” dick, slightly dampening my boxers and pants. It was like a volcano going to explode. A volcano that, just like me, couldn’t take it anymore. I rushed to the bathroom and furiously beat my meat, almost strangling my rock-hard penis with a firm grip. I didn’t last much: I literally peed sperm, thinking of Dave’s farts. The best part is that I didn’t need to imagine anything: it was all real. I laughed in relief just as I felt my penis deflating like a balloon, after it vomited its white substance. It felt good, not “masturbation good”, like “life is good”. And it was.

My best friend, Dave, was this fantastic guy who, in his own, twisted way, was taking care of me, accepting me, making me comfortable with my fart fetish. A gassy, open-minded, mildly disgusting “bro” who only wanted to preserve our friendship.

And I couldn’t be happier.

End of Episode 1

#fart story #eproctophilia #fartkink #davefarts2 #gayfart #malefarts

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coldmilkcreamery · 3 years

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lux in tenebris

~ 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 ~

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: jung jaehyun x male reader 🌹🥀

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 4182

𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: set in the 1960’s, your relationship with Jaehyun blooms as you navigate a time when homosexuality is unacceptable.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴/𝘀: hinted homophobia (but never shown)

𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝘆 🌙

𝗮/𝗻: because valentines is jaehyun’s birthday !! hbd to my first bias <3 this story is so so fluffy, which is so unusual for me because i’m an angsty writer 🥴 also, i thought of this story while listening to ‘put your head on my shoulder’ !! every time i would write a part, i would listen to it <3 this is the longest story i’ve written, surpassing memories (which is also a jaehyun one btw, i think this unintentionally proves my dedication to him) !! i hope u guys like this because i’ve worked the hardest on this 🥺 happy valentines everyone ! <3

> 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 <

(some time in the 1960s~)

Everybody thought they were friends. The class-skipping, the after-school hangouts, the dinners at Anka’s Diner—everybody thought they were friends. And truly, they were.

But is that really all they were?

“So…” Jaehyun asks as they walk down the halls of Neo High, “Anyone approach for Valentine’s yet? I bet you’ve gotten more than three people to ask you out by now.”

Y/N chuckles, lightly shoving Jaehyun as the latter chuckles as well. “Man, stop it. No one asked me out. And who are you to say that? Star athlete, 6 pack abs, Jaehyun of the Neos, I'd say… 6 girls?”

“7, actually.” They both giggle as Jaehyun continues, “But… I shot all of them down.”

They both near Y/N’s locker, Jaehyun leaning on the ones beside as the former opens his and gets some books out. “Why? 7 girls… neat.”

“I have my eyes on someone else.” Jaehyun says, looking up, blushing at the ceiling, glad that Y/N’s locker door is obstructing the latter’s view of his face.

“Lucky girl.” Y/N says, nonchalantly as he closes the door to his locker. “She’ll say yes, don’t worry.”

“Sure hope they do. So… I'm guessing you're still on the make? You know, looking for a date?” Jaehyun says curiously, unknowingly hoping for a certain answer.

“I told you no one asked me out. And honestly, I’m fine with that. It's a Saturday on the 14th—maybe I should just stay home and listen to the radio.”

“Aww. That's fine little man.” Jaehyun says as they begin their trek towards their classes. “Maybe you could go out with me…” His voice softens, not wanting to alert those around them, “If you can't find anyone.”

Y/N chortles, smacking Jaehyun on the shoulder once again, “Kinda gay ain't it?”

“Nothing wrong with it.”

“You think the people around us’ll say the same?”

Jaehyun hums in acknowledgement as he fixes his tie, replying, “Okay then. Well, see ya’ later alligator.”

Y/N smiles as he sends the boy a wink, entering his classroom as the latter walks to his.

They both knew it. It was mutual knowledge. But unspoken. It was unspoken knowledge. The sly touches, the flirting—they both knew it.

But neither have made a real move yet.

“If you had one thing you could do right now, without being interrupted—without any distractions,” Jaehyun says, lying down on Y/N’s bed, throwing a baseball up in the air as he asks, “what would it be?”

“Hm.” Y/N ponders, pausing the movement of his pencil over the créme sheet of paper, placing it down. “Maybe…” he looks out the window, observing the orange to black ombré, “Moongazing. I just love the moon. The stars too.”

“You always talk about the moon.” Jaehyun stops throwing the white ball knitted with red fabric, catching it on one hand as he sits up. “What’s so bewitching about it anyway?”

“I don’t know.” Y/N continues writing, the graphite marking the pages as it produces the only sound in the room apart from their voices. “It’s… calming. Not to mention, the twinkling stars look pretty too.”

“Twinkle twinkle little star…” Jaehyun sings softly as Y/N chuckles, throwing a pillow at the former.

“If you don’t believe me—”

“I do. I’ll take you for your word.” Jaehyun replies almost instantly. “I always do.”

“Neat. Now flake off. The sun is setting. You live three streets away, and I don't want you walking in the dark alone.” Y/N gets up from his seat at the window, turning to face Jaehyun.

“Walk me home then.” Jaehyun replies, a smirk on his face.

“That would mean I would be the one walking home alone in the dark, you dork.”

“Alright, alright.” Jaehyun replies, getting up from Y/N’s bed to give him a long, warm hug. Their bodies separate as Jaehyun blows Y/N a kiss, walking out the bedroom door, getting a snort in return.

The marmalade sun hides itself on the horizon as Y/N looks out the window, waving to Jaehyun as the latter walks out their front yard, beginning his journey home.

Oh God, was he falling.

It was getting increasingly difficult to resist. The sneaky flirts, the clever comebacks—it was getting increasingly difficult to resist.

And maybe he should stop doing so.

“Baby~” Jaehyun sneaks up on Y/N, whispering the words as the latter stiffens in surprise before smacking him lightly in the face.

“Dude. You gotta stop saying shit like that.” The boy sitting on his assigned chair replies, looking up at Jaehyun who is now seated on his desk. “Why are you here anyways? Don’t you have class soon?”

“You do.” Jaehyun replies, pointing at Y/N before pointing at himself, “I don’t. My first subject isn’t ‘till 9.”

“Hm.” Y/N mumbles as he looks back down on the sheet of paper with two unanswered math problems waiting to be solved. “Well, I forgot to complete this last night because I was too pre-occupied with English, and there’s five minutes left ‘till my class starts so I really gotta finish this.”

“Maybe you don’t.” Jaehyun replies, a plan already devising itself in his mind. “Do you maybe wanna… go to the park?”

Y/N looks up, a smirk forming on his face as he observes the same smirk on Jaehyun’s. They hold a stare for about five seconds before Y/N shoves the gray sheet of paper into his backpack, not caring if it was getting crumpled. In laughing fits, both boys run out the hall and eventually out the school too. Slowing down from their marathon-like sprint, they don't notice that they have their fingers interlocked. Y/N realizing this, he quickly untangles them as he straightens his uniform, Jaehyun unconsciously bummed out.

“Well,” Y/N says, looking up at Jaehyun who was already staring at him, “lead the way, my good sir.”

Jaehyun bows as he jokes, “Why of course, Milady. I’ll have you back in school by 9, just in time for your second subject.”

Both giggle as they skip to the grassy park, unknowingly spending the whole day out of school.

Maybe it was something in the air. Something they inhaled, passing their airways as it made its way to their heart, freeing them from their icy restraints. Maybe it was something in the air—or maybe something in the grass. But it made them both come out of their shells.

What took that damned O₂ so long to enter their lungs?

“Oh shit.” Y/N realizes halfway through fawning about a low-graphic, black and white but new cartoon that had just come out. He looks down on his right wrist as he scoffs. “You said you’d get me back in school by 9.” He says, annoyed, looking up at Jaehyun, “It’s 9:05”.

Jaehyun chuckles innocently, planting his palm on the back of your shoulder. “Well… if people see us here in the park when we’re supposed to be in class… we’ll get detention for skipping.” He says, matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, totally didn't know that, Jae.” Y/N says, facetiously.

“Well… we could go to the movies? Or the fair…” Jaehyun brings his lips closer to Y/N ears as he whispers convincingly, “Or both.”

The flustered pulls away, hands pushing Jaehyun towards the opposite direction. “Fine. But I didn't bring my wallet today.”

“What do you want me to do about that?” Jaehyun replies, a look of sarcasm cascading his face. Y/N rolls his eyes before staring straight into Jaehyun’s, cracking his knuckles. Before he could get a word out, Jaehyun already surrenders. “Okay, okay! Calm down dude.” He chuckles. “But on one condition.”

“I’m listening.” Y/N replies, crossing his legs.

“Be my Valentine. For tomorrow.”

“W-”

“Dude, you don't have a valentine, I don't have a valentine—”

“Because you turned them all down!”

“Okay fair enough.” Jaehyun admits, “But it's not like I can ask them out again, it would be too humiliating for big ole’ Jae, wouldn't it?” He pouts, sticking his bottom lip out as he stares into Y/N’s eyes.

Y/N contemplates, sighing after a minute as he replies, “Fine.”

Jaehyun jumps in glee as he cheers, acting like a kid whose parents agreed to buy them ice cream.

“Just take me to the movies already.” Y/N sighs yet again, scratching his head as the taller calms down, bowing facetiously.

“Of course, Milady.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

The popcorn was exceptional. Splendid indeed. The pop of flavor just made everything fall into place. The popcorn was exceptional—maybe that’s why Jaehyun held the bag so cautiously.

And soon enough, that won’t be the only thing he’ll be holding—and eating, too.

“Mmmh.” Jaehyun moans as he sips his pop, taking a handful of popcorn right after.

“Dude, stop! We haven't even gotten in the theater yet and you're already devouring everything.” Y/N whines, upset. “By the time the movie starts, we’ll have nothing!”

“Chill,” Jaehyun replies, taking one last sip from his straw before he smiles at Y/N, “we can just buy another one.”

“You’re just wasting money.” Y/N groans, not wanting Jaehyun to spend any more.

“Okay, okay.” He replies, sealing his popcorn as they wait to be let in the theater.

Was it the popcorn in the theater? Something that gave Jaehyun the courage. Because Jaehyun had not been this bold 6 months ago. Was it the popcorn in the theater—or was it the soda pop?

It didn't matter. What he was going to do with his newly-found virtue did.

In the darkness, the mono-colored movie played as the bag of popcorn was set in between the boys.

“Remind me why we decided to watch a romance movie again?” Y/N brings his lips closer to Jaehyun’s ears as he whispers, not wanting to disturb the rest.

“People say it’s a good movie.”

“They both die.”

Jaehyun peels his eyes away from the screen to stare at Y/N, a look of disbelief washing over his face. “You just spoiled the movie for me.”

“Everybody knows the story of Romeo and Juliet.” Y/N replies, rolling his eyes.

“Well, I don’t.” Jaehyun whispers, looking back at the projected movie, correcting himself, “Didn’t. I guess I do now.”

“I still can’t believe you didn’t know though.” Y/N remarks, grabbing popcorn from their shared bucket, staring at the movie playing.

“Now I do, and…” Jaehyun looks at Y/N once again, his cheeks burning as he braves and says, “I guess it’s a good thing we’ll both be Romeos tomorrow.”

Y/N lightly chuckles, trying to ignore what Jaehyun had just said, keeping his eyes glued to the movie.

Unsatisfied with Y/N’s reaction, Jaehyun slips his fingers past the bucket of popcorn and onto Y/N’s, resting on the armrest. With the sudden weight and warmth on his hand, Y/N tenses—but doesn’t look at Jaehyun. Rather, he watches the movie intently, silently hoping he doesn’t give in.

Jaehyun leans closer to Y/N, lips right next to his ears as he whispers, “I’m cold.”

And he gives in.

Their fingers interlock in the dark of the theater, the sounds of dialogue from the movie filling the enclosed space up. No one can see them—it’ll be alright.

Jaehyun always found rings cute. A cheese ring, a metal ring, the ring around Saturn. Jaehyun always found rings cute,

But his greatest wish was to put a diamond one around Y/N’s finger.

“This is a scam.” Y/N retorts, hands crossed. He stares at Jaehyun as they stand in line for a hoop game on the board walk’s carnival, a few minutes after their exit from the theater.

“There’s no harm in trying.” Jaehyun replies, his eyes on the prize—a teddy bear the size of a toddler.

“That’s like saying ‘There’s no harm in getting scammed’, Jae.”

“Well,” Jaehyun cheekily replies, smirking as he blurts, “there’s no harm in getting scammed for you.”

Y/N looks at Jaehyun in disbelief as the flirt grabs 3 round hoops, preparing to land them on the moving bottles. Much like Y/N’s prediction, the first hoop falls too early and too far from the bottles, the second slides off after nearing and the third one flies too far and hits the stall owner. Jaehyun cringes as the owner painfully smirks, the feeling of victory of scamming another customer engulfing the latter’s mind, accompanied by the feeling of pain from the metal object recently hurled at his stomach.

“At least we have consolation candy?” Jaehyun’s face agonizes, embarrassment taking over.

“At least we have consolation candy.” Y/N repeats, grabbing a handful as he smiles at the owner and makes a 180°, leaving the booth. Jaehyun follows behind, hands in his pocket as he looks around the fair.

“Oooh,” Jaehyun interests, “What about that one?” He says, pointing at the game with a man in his 20’s trapped inside a container with water below, fate depending on his partner’s aim at the target.

“How about no?” Y/N replies, chuckling shortly after, “If you like water so much…

how do you feel about the beach?”

Tonight was the night. It wasn’t the 14th—it was the day before. But Jaehyun was more than confident enough to make a move. Tonight was the night—and nothing could go wrong.

Or so he hopes.

The tangerine sun meets the navy water once again, its center resting at the edge of the coast. Both boys walk down the beach, hands in pockets as they keep their feelings in.

“Pretty isn’t it?” Jaehyun perks up as he stares at Y/N breaking the silence. “The sun setting.” Jaehyun nods as Y/N continues. “It’s a shame that it’s disappearing soon. Give it a few minutes more and there won’t be a trace of orange on the sky.”

“It’s just how it is.” Jaehyun replies.

“Exactly.” Y/N gleams, the wind blowing on his shirt. “As much as I love seeing the sun, and as much as I hate seeing it go, I see it as a good thing too.”

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun replies, sparkles in his eyes as he stares at Y/N, only the calm waters and the sun’s secant behind him.

“I see it as, ‘if you love something, you have to let something else go’, or something of the sort.” Y/N chuckles, his hands still in his pockets, “I love the sun so much, but if it means seeing the night sky again, I’d give it up every single day, every single time, every single chance I get.”

“You must love the moon and stars so much, huh.” Jaehyun awes as his skin glows under the dying sun’s radiating tint.

Y/N nods as both boys settle down on a spot by the ocean, watching the sun submerge, darker and bluer hues taking over the early evening sky. They sit there for a few minutes, staring at the ocean waves, thinking about their current situation. As they contemplate, the sky has completely changed, from warm hues into cooler and darker ones, the moon showing itself first.

“There you go.” Jaehyun chuckles, laying his back on the sand as he points up, “Your favorite.”

Y/N follows the direction Jaehyun’s finger is pointing at as he looks up at the indigo atmosphere, a faint, glowing crescent standing out. He beams as he appreciates the moon’s presence, basking in it. “Thank you for today, Jae.”

“You’re welcome. Don’t forget about tomorrow okay?”

Y/N nods as he gets up, dusting his shorts off from the sand. The other gets up as well, doing the same as Y/N watches.

Just as the latter is about to leave, Jaehyun speaks up. “Wait!” Y/N faces him once again, a sparkle on his eyes as he wonders why he was called back. “I— I have something to say.” Jaehyun shivers, clenching his fists as he breathes in and out, preparing himself for his own confession. “For the longest time I’ve— I’ve looked up to you and I just wanna say,” Y/N raises his eyebrows, the sound of waves crashing onto the beach filling his ears, “I like you.”

‘I like you’. The words ring in Y/N ears, the syllables painting his eardrums with love. It seems great at first but then he remembers—the predjudice, the shame, the disgrace, the dishonor—and doubles back. “Y-you can’t.”

“Yes, I can.” Jaehyun says as he inches closer to Y/N, his hand grazing the latter’s cheek as he pulls closer. Their lips touch under the moonlight, the stars and benthics as their witness. The taste of strawberry fills Y/N’s taste buds, the savory flavor of intimacy filling his mouth. With the doting feeling of passion engulfing Y/N’s body, he kisses back. They move in sync for a few seconds until Jaehyun pulls away, the feeling of endearment filling his mind as he registers that he had just kissed Y/N—the one he's been pining for for the past few years. Of course, that feeling isn't long-lasting as he notices Y/N take a step back, fear in the latter’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun questions, his words coming out as a mere whisper. Y/N doesn't reply as he takes more steps back, mortified. Jaehyun reaches his hand out—and that’s all it takes to send Y/N running.

He sprints the opposite direction, ignoring Jaehyun’s shouts behind him. Adrenaline rushes through his veins as his shoes hit the sand continuously, fear and disappointment fueling his run.

Jaehyun is left alone, under the moonlit beach, and instead of hearing his beloved’s voice, only the sound of waves fill his ears, sending him into full regret.

Was it like water? Sometimes everything would be blithe—calm, tranquil water, their insouciant selves enjoying the world. But sometimes it would be erratic too—the unpredictable waves engulfing them and their relationship. Was it like water—their love for one another?

Jaehyun just hopes it wouldn’t dry up.

“Thought I’d find you up here.” Jaehyun mutters as he closes the rooftop door, making a sound as it closes again. It’s been a few hours since the beach incident, the moon already glowing brighter. “Look, I’m sorry for kiss–”

“Don’t be.” Y/N replies, keeping his voice as stern as possible, despite already being on the verge of tears. “It was great, I just,” Y/N pauses, takes in the night sky’s view for the last time before he breaks down, and plants his eyes on Jaehyun, still by the rooftop door. “Don’t you think this is wrong?”

“What is?” Jaehyun replies, already knowing the answer he would receive.

“This.” Y/N replies, whining dejectedly as he gets up from his sitting position, facing Jaehyun. “This is. We’re both guys, we shouldn't be flirting, let alone kissing!”

“Why does it matter?” Jaehyun questions, stepping forward as he tries his best to keep his tears in.

“It just does Jaehyun!” Y/N yells back, the exact opposite of Jaehyun’s hushed tone, his voice echoing out into the night sky. “It just does.” He repeats, tears pooling on the corner of his eyes.

“If it does, then…” Jaehyun steps back, the feeling of woe engulfing him, “you never liked me the same way I like you.”

“No!” Y/N replies almost immediately, a tear already slipping out, painting his right cheek, “I, I like you Jae, I like you so fucking much. Every single moment we’ve had, every single moment we’ve shared—I relish every bit of it. I can’t stop liking you—I’ll never stop liking you. But,” Y/N pauses, “I’m scared.”

Jaehyun steps closer to Y/N, pulling him into his embrace as the latter cries out onto his shoulder, tears staining his t-shirt, “Don’t be.”

“But I am.” Y/N replies, sniffing as he tightens his grip on Jaehyun’s body. “I’m scared of everything—What if people talk bad about us, behind our backs? What if our parents kick us out? What if we get expelled? What if—”

“Shh.” Jaehyun shushes, his hand rubbing Y/N’s back slowly, the strokes calming the latter down. “Stop thinking about the ‘what ifs’, just focus on me.”

“I’m sorry, I know I overthink a lot.” Y/N mumbles, pulling away from their embrace as he looks Jaehyun in the eyes, the moonlight shining on them. “I’m just… scared of the darkness that awaits, you know?”

“I get you.” Jaehyun replies as he stares at Y/N, melancholic. “And I’ll do whatever it takes, okay? I’ll be your candle, your shining light, anything that’ll get you through the darkness.”

“Thanks.” Y/N chuckles, looking down, noticing the sand still on Jaehyun’s shoes. “But that still doesn’t change what people would think about…” He points to Jaehyun, then at himself, repeatedly, “this.”

Jaehyun hums as he guides Y/N to the ledge of the rooftop, sitting both him and himself down as they stare out onto the deserted school field below. “Remember what you said about the sun, just a few hours ago when we were down at the beach?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“I’d give it all up. All of it. My status, my family, my friends—all of it��” Jaehyun says, peeling his eyes off the dark field below them and locking them with Y/N’s, passion fueling his words, “if it meant I could be with you. Because as much as I love them, if it means seeing you in my arms, I’d give them all up every single day, every single time, every single chance I get.”

Y/N forces a sob in, trying his best not to break down. “But why?” He replies, feeling tears pool again.

“Because I’m serious with you, dude.” Jaehyun replies as Y/N chuckles, the tears still in his eyes. “I’ve been wanting to tell you all this for a while now.”

Y/N snickers louder, he and his best friend’s intimacy overwhelming him. He takes in Jaehyun’s form, the moon casting its light down on him, and makes a desicion. “Fine.”

“Fine what?”

“Fine, you can be my candle. Fine, you can be my shining light. Fine…” Y/N pauses, trying to find the right words, “Fine, I’ll give this—us—a chance.”

Jaehyun quickly switches moods from his dejected one to a grin from ear to ear, painting over his gloomy look. “Does that mean you’re still my valentine for tomorrow...” Jaehyun pauses, looks at his watch then looks back into Y/N’s eyes, noticing all the sorrow fading, “I mean later?”

“Yes, dude.”

“We have to stop calling each other that now, babe.”

“Ew. Too cheesy don’t you think?”

“Not at all. I think it suits you.”

Both men chuckle as they stare out into the landscape, a completely new bond between them formed.

“Since it’s Valentine’s Day already,” Jaehyun mumbles as he looks toward Y/N’s direction, “do you mind giving me a kiss?” Y/N stops his peaceful gaze on the stars as he locks eyes with Jaehyun, noticing the sparkles in his eyes. “No running away this time though.”

Y/N chuckles before he places his hand on Jaehyun’s cheek, moving closer and closer, feeling their taboo love get stronger and stronger. Their lips touch as he realizes that Jaehyun’s lips taste more like peaches than strawberries. With this thought in mind, he smiles into their kiss, the feeling of fear leaving his body as he feels his best friend’s—now boyfriend’s—lips on his.

Instead of the briny ocean water witnessing their love wither merely 6 hours earlier, it was now the magnificent moon and the stunning stars bearing witness to their young, requited love bloom.

Maybe it was the stigma. The thing that kept them apart for so long. Maybe it was the stigma—or maybe they were both just pussies.

Good thing they grew some balls.

“I think I get why you like the moon and stars so much.” Jaehyun blurts as the two lay on the beach once again, staring up at the glittered night sky, the valentine air floating out and about.

“And why’s that?” Y/N says as he looks up at Jaehyun, curiosity devouring him.

“It reminds me of a phrase in Latin.” He replies, smiling as the bijou stars twinkled at them, as if they were smiling. “It means light in darkness.” Y/N nods. “The moon, the stars—they paint the plain black sky and turn it into something stunning. I can’t look away from it now. Whenever I look up at night, I’ll always remember you.”

“Good for you.” Y/N chuckles, shifting his gaze from his boyfriend’s cheek and placing it back on the painting-like sky above them, miniature dots glistening on the canvas. “What’s that phrase again? If it sounds pretty, I just might get it tattooed on me.”

“Light in darkness,” Jaehyun stops, smiling back at the specs winking at them, “and in Latin,” Y/N looks up at Jaehyun, only to catch him staring back, stars in his eyes,

“Lux in tenebris.”

End.

𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙙: 02.04.21

𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙: 02.13.21

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yourbuerokrat2 · 2 years

Text

The Jester and his King

For @borsch4life

No one really knew, where Q came from. When one would ask him, from which country he came from, he would only give a strange smile, as if you told him a joke though only he seemed to be able to understand the punch line.

One of the things that was known to all in the land was that Q came and went whenever he pleased and that once he decided to stick around only his own whims were able to get him to leave.

Despite his strange almost comical outfits of which he seemed to have a wide variety of, he could have a rather dry arrogance about himself that many thought unbecoming of the jester he proclaimed himself to be.

But, and even those who had a great dislike of him would admit it, his ego was understandable, once one had seen his performances. Why, if it wasn’t for his jokes and his mockery one would have thought him almost a magician.

Another rather well-known fact about this odd jester was, that his favorite place to be despite all of his travels was the rather humble palace of King Jean-Luc Picard.

At first a rather unwelcome guest whose intentions were rarely if at all known, his presence soon was tolerated after he has proven to be useful. Mostly because of his knowledge and experiences he has aquiered through his travels, albeit his help mostly came with riddles and games which he seemed to love to play with the king.

Over time as Qs visits increased and he even met and accompied the king on his diplomatic missions, the King came to treat him like a welcome member of the Court. Something of which the jester was very proud of and even bragged about in the kingdoms and places he visited.

After a while, the bond between Q and the king, whom he always liked to call his king though he seldom if ever obeyed him, seemed to grow stronger as Qs more than just friendly gestures were no longer treated with annoyance but now almost welcomed.

To many other of the court members it was no foreign or strange sight to them, when they saw the jester sitting on his kings lap.

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General Headcanons :

- Qs origins and really anything about Q is mysterious and his abilites are not entirely human

- The palace was a lot more luxurious before Picard, but he gave a lot of the unneccessary stuff out to help out his people/give to the poor. He is a very popular king/leader.

- It’s not at all as strict of a society as original medieval society. Picard does not have to marry anyone, women have rights, no witch hunting. etc.

- It’s pretty much TNG just set in a medieval setting without the historical aad stuff, so homosexuality is fine here too.

Romantic Headcanons:

- Q was the first one to fall in love and he didn’t really know what to do so for the first few years his main objective was just to be the center of Picards attention at all cost.

- Picard fell a little later though tried to deny it because he didn’t need distractions from his duties and he didn’t trust Qs whimsical nature.

- Q does genuinly enjoy making Picard smile or even laugh. His performances for his king are for free and there he is not afraid to make a fool out of himself.

Creepy (?) Headcanon:

- Q repeatadly makes Picard the offer to just come with him. Picard declines every time, but Q insists that Picard at least come with him once he retires. Picard tells him that he won’t be of much use once he is retired, but Q tells him that where they are going Q will take care of everything.

- The question of just how human or if at all human Q really is sometimes hangs in the air and Picard is willing to accept and love Q even if he isn’t. Q knows this and promises Picard that once he feels Picard is ready all will be revealed.

#Couldn't stop with the last two #Once had a fanfic for garbage and a conversation with Teeth and garbage about Fae!Q and I got inspired by it a bit

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garlic-but-gay · 2 years

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You can love media with poor representation. You can love media with bigoted creators. You can love media. Period. Even if you're in groups misrepresented within said media. Just acknowledge that that shit is wrong, and dont engage with that portion. A show I utterly love has a gay character (with DID) whose homosexuality is played up for laughs. There is no doubt in my mind that the creator was misogynistic as fuck and it shows in some moments. Know what else that show has? A damn good plot and the SICKEST rollerblading I've seen in any media except jet set radio. Does butch Hartman being a horrible twat stop people from enjoying his work? What about notch with minecraft? What about michael jackson? What about attack on titan? It's ok to separate art from artist or even art from other, non-vital parts of that same art. Doesnt make you a bad person for enjoying it.

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invalid-prongs · 3 years

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Ties

thank you milo – @/_siriuslysirius on instagram – for letting me use your headcanon as a prompt for this!! it was super fun to write!!

there are three things constant in this world, according to remus lupin.

1. sirius black is a smug little bitch.

2. peter pettigrew might be the only sane marauder.

3. remus lupin cannot tie a tie to save his own life.

with a defeated groan, remus pulls at the fabric hanging around his neck. it slips out from under his collar, falling from his shoulder like a waterfall, and pooling on the wooden floor at his feet.

“blasted thing,” he mutters, kicking the satin material towards the mirror in defeat. “fuck it, i just won’t wear one.”

“it’s a black-tie event,” a voice calls from the doorway, and remus jumps lightly, glaring at the lad’s reflection. “i think not wearing one sort of defeats the point.”

remus narrows his eyes sharply. “then i just won’t go to the bloody thing.”

sirius chuckles lightly, grinning widely. “you’re coming,” he nods, eyes sparkling. “if i have to stick with prongs all night alone because you can’t function as a human being—”

he cuts himself off as he enters the dorm, shaking his head. he moves over to remus, picking up the tie from the floor and folding it in his hands.

“you won’t be alone. you have marlene.”

remus ignores the way sirius stiffens at the mention of her. “yeah, well… whatever.”

he turns to the taller lad, holding up the black satin. “do you want me to do it for you?”

for a moment, remus forgets how to breathe. the world around him disappears as he stares down at sirius, whose eyes are lit up like fireworks, smile warm and loving. the shorter lad clears his throat, catching remus’ attention.

“sorry, um,” he blinks quickly, pulling himself back into reality. “yeah, sure, if you want.”

“rad.” sirius grins, leaning closer, and for a moment, remus’ heart freezes – is he going to kiss me?

“look, listen, learn.”

remus watches his best friend’s movements unevenly in the mirror. the way his hands brush remus’ neck gently, the way they fold around the material, as if he were born tying a tie.

“there,” sirius’ hands slide down from remus’ neck to rest on his shoulders. “now you look sophisticated enough to know what you’re doing.”

remus nods slowly, waiting for the other lad to step away, but he never does. for a moment, they just stare at each other, hidden emotions resting just beyond the colour of their eyes, blissful silence enveloping the scene.

and then the door flies open.

“oi, fuckers!” the voice of james potter shatters the moment, and sirius steps away quickly. “we’re all waiting for you down here, hurry up!”

sirius rolls his eyes. “shut up, prongs, we’re on our way!” and then he brushes past as if nothing happened.

“moony?” james’ voice is soft, a lot closer now. “hey, are you alright?”

realising he hasn’t moved, the taller lad clears his throat, nodding, and turns to face his best friend. “yeah,” his throat feels tight. “yeah, let’s go.”

they make their way down the spiral staircase to where everybody else is waiting for them.

james’ smile brightens as he takes lily’s arm, who’s wearing a forest green dress that compliments both her hair and eyes beautifully. mary’s dress is a warm yellow that reminds remus of summer and sunflowers, and it suits her figure perfectly, as well as matching peter’s tie.

marlene’s is a gentle purple, and it somehow goes with sirius’ suit. remus forces himself to look away as she takes his arm, and instead smiles at dorcas, who also hasn’t got a date, despite how amazing she looks in her honey-brown dress.

“hey, look!” sirius points to the pair giddily. “moony, your eyes match dory’s dress!”

he chuckles lightly, although it sounds a little choked and suffocated. “yeah, i guess.”

the group set off for the great hall without much further conversation. lily and james lead, followed by marlene and sirius, peter and mary, and then remus and dorcas, who slowly gravitate towards each other.

“how come you didn’t come with anybody?” dorcas asks gingerly as they take a seat at an empty table whilst the others go to dance.

i’m in love with sirius. “nobody i liked asked.”

“so, you like someone?”

damn it. “not entirely what i said.”

“but it’s true,” she pushes gently, shifting closer to whisper. “is it marlene?”

remus’ jaw drops. “no!” he hisses a little too loudly. “i mean—not that she isn’t amazing, she’s just…” he trails off, lost for words. “not my type?”

“alright,” she nods slowly. “good, because she’s exactly my type.”

he splutters. “you and marlene?”

“what? you’re not against it, are you?”

“no, no!” he recovers quickly, eyes scanning the room to find where marlene is whispering something in sirius’ ear, who’s laughing brightly. “i just… her and sirius…”

“oh please,” dorcas scoffs, leaning back in her seat. “everybody knows sirius black is a raging homosexual. he likes queen, he likes bowie, for merlin’s sake! he is the gayest of the gays!”

remus reels back, eyes widening. “he’s what?”

“oh, shit, you didn’t—"

“hey guys!” sirius grins as he and marlene collapse into two of the seats at the table, cutting off the conversation. “hey, moony, are you alright? you look like you’ve just seen somebody burn chocolate.”

he slams his jaw shut, nodding quickly, staring at dorcas questioningly. she shrugs before turning away and striking up a conversation with marlene.

“prongs looks happy.”

“hm?”

sirius jabs his thumb to where james is spinning lily around, both smiling gently as she reaches up to plant a kiss on his cheek.

“i’m happy for him,” remus leans back in his seat. “maybe now we won’t have to hear his midnight ranting.”

the black-haired lad bursts into laughter, shaking his head, and it takes all of his might for remus to not stare hopelessly at him.

“come on,” sirius pulls himself up, holding out a hand. “let’s leave these two to themselves, we’re going to dance.”

remus grimaces. “i don’t dance.”

“you do now.”

without warning, he’s pulled to his feet by sirius, who drags him through the crowd until they’re nearly in the centre.

“this is fun!” cheers sirius as he grabs one of the other lad’s hands and spins himself around. “come on, don’t be such a spoil sport.”

he sighs. “sirius, i can’t dance.”

“what? oh, come on, everybody can dance!”

remus shakes his head, dropping his tone. “half-blood werewolves don’t get taught to waltz by their parents.”

sirius’ face softens as he takes both of his friend’s hands and pulls their bodies closer.

“then i’ll teach you.”

remus tries to pull away in protest, but then sirius is pulling him around the dancefloor, spinning this way and that, and all he can focus on is how pretty the shorter lad is right now.

i wish i could kiss you.

“what was that?”

he blinks quickly. “uh, um, nothing,” he blushes. keep your thoughts to yourself, lupin, honestly!

sirius gives him a quizzical look but keeps leading him through the steps. they don’t stop, no matter how many times remus steps on his toes or messes up the routine, until a softer, more gentle song plays through the hall.

the couple’s dance.

“this was fun,” remus swallows thickly, going to pull away as the mood lightens with the soft pink lights. “um, we should, like, go.”

he pretends not to notice the disappointment on sirius’ face. “oh, yeah, we should,” he nods, eyes darting around. “wait, actually, hold on—”

he steps closer, and remus’ breath catches in his throat. sirius’ hands close on the front of his shirt, a small, lopsided grin resting on his lips.

“your tie’s coming loose.”

no, it isn’t, he thinks, lowering his head, but sirius simply holds his jaw, pushing his head up before going back to fiddling with his tie. and for the sake of having just a few precious moments feeling sirius’ breath running along his collarbones, remus doesn’t pull back.

when sirius is done, remus looks down and smiles. “thanks.”

he nods in reply, and then everything blurs. the notes of the song crash together as the couples surrounding them blend into the background of the setting. sirius grabs the lapels of remus’ tux jacket as the other leans down.

and then they collide in a mess of colours and feelings and emotions. they press together, melting into the other as if they were made for this very moment, and remus pours everything he has into this one single kiss.

in the end, it’s him pulling back slightly, one hand on sirius’ hip and the other holding his cheek, thumb stroking over his cheekbone gently.

“wow,” sirius breathes lightly, laughing. “oh, shit, wow.”

“yeah,” remus agrees, and then they’re kissing again.

faintly, he thinks he hears the cheering of marlene, he can sense the smirking of james, but he blocks it all out. all he focuses on is sirius’ lips moulding with his, warm and gentle, slightly awkward, but definitely more experienced than remus.

and in that moment, everything feels perfect.

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