#who does gay yearning like him. no one.
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trying to motivate myself to finish sex pollen by reminding myself i love sad blowjobs
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movement. his majesty breathes out, explosive, wipes a hand through the equations with a sudden violence. jo yeong’s already halfway to him when he stumbles down onto a knee.
"your majesty." the labored breathing, and sweat-slick throat. he's never seen his majesty's eyes so dark. "this isn't sustainable." they're running out of options. there are no poisons— the flex of his majesty's fingers against his thigh. his breath on jo yeong’s wrist.
"the cameras are inactive," jo yeong says. he has already imagined his majesty's marital bed; this is just logistics. "the detail's been dismissed. you'll have full latitude to take care of your symptoms when i retire. please—"
"it's worse." his majesty, each syllable bitten off. "when you're not here."
when jo yeong was twenty-four— opening ceremony for a museum. an anti-monarchist had worked construction, smuggled in a receiver cast in polymer. the makeshift gun was only good for one shot, but they hadn't known that.
jo yeong remembers covering his majesty, caging in his shoulders, head down and low. in the enclosed space the smell of gunpowder was thick and stinging. his majesty had gone still beneath him the way he'd been trained, and jo yeong had half his attention on his majesty's pulse, the other half on the comms. hostile detained. atrium cleared. weapon recovered. he hadn't registered the heat in his side until the all-clear, shifting himself off his majesty.
"yeong," his majesty had said. his hand was on jo yeong’s jacket, sticky and wet. "you're hurt." and jo yeong had thought, with a peculiar relief: good. he'd been afraid he'd lose his nerve.
this isn't worse than being shot. this isn't anything. jo yeong's body has been a tool for a long time; it’s not his.
he's on his knees. his majesty's robe is only loosely tied, and jo yeong has wanted this for as long as he's known want.
"i can—" his voice is unrecognizable. his head, bowed, nearly touching his majesty’s shoulder. his shuddering heart. hasn't he been giving it up all this time? it doesn't change what he is to speak it. "if you wish it, i—"
his majesty gets to his feet. "you're dismissed, captain."
jo yeong had a deployment to the east sea, once. it was mid-february; his father warned it'd be cold. the wind didn't let up for three weeks. jo yeong remembers: flecks of light glinting off ice at night. the clear slicing cold stealing his breath, shocking until he went abruptly numb.
“you’re ill, your majesty,” jo yeong says. “i can’t leave you in this state.” this is the first rule jo yeong teaches every new recruit. his majesty’s life over obedience; everything else can be forgiven.
“if i ordered it,” his majesty says. he's barefoot. jo yeong's eyes catch on the skin stretched over the knob of his ankle. "if i said, yeong, stay and have sex with me. you would."
his majesty can be callous, careless; he is not cruel. jo yeong holds himself still so he won't flinch. "you need it."
his majesty, moving. his hand on jo yeong’s face, delicate, tilting him up to meet his eyes. "ah, yeong," he says, almost tender. "what i've made you."
“no, your majesty.” this is an old argument. the night before jo yeong joined the royal guard. his majesty, with uncharacteristic uncertainty: will this change you. jo yeong’s answer is the same now as it was then. “i am what i chose to be.” he would do it again, given the chance. his majesty belongs to the kingdom, but the boy, consumed with grief, and nothing between him and the world— he’s jo yeong’s.
his majesty is close, bright and brittle-eyed. his thumb is sliding along the edge of jo yeong’s jaw. “i won’t ask you not to be angry with me,” he says. as if jo yeong could. as if jo yeong hasn’t already surrendered, his miserable pounding heart laid bare for taking.
his majesty’s mouth, hot and damp. jo yeong’s ribs sliding open for the knife.
#putting your hand on your king's dick while calling him your majesty the whole time: hashtag just jo yeong things#trying not to watch more of my country until i finish this fic but this has not been helpful lmao#gotta get the unhinged sex pollen loyalty kink blowjobs out of my system before i fully fall down the impending woo do hwan rabbithole#who does gay yearning like him. no one.#some wip nonsense
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Aroace Riz real but also Fabian is SO clearly in love with him and Riz has no idea
#honestly fabian might not even fully know yet#a core part of fabians character is that he is so deeply afraid of rejection that he is never going to pursue the people he actually wants#i do think he likes Maezy a lot but i think he only knows how to pursue hot toxic women that will discard him at a moments notice#which in a way protects him from ever actually dealing with heartbreak#is he a gay man dealing with comphet? ehh maybe#i could see that#but I think the vibe i get is more about how he has these platonic friends he completely adores and is fully devoted to#and then in another category he has the people that he does not have any actual attachment to that he will allow himself to pursue#and crossing the boundaries in between those two categories or allowing himself to pursue someone he really cares for#would require a level of vulnerability he is in no way prepared for#in his home life he has an emotionally detached mother who is well liked but kind of floats through interactions on a surface level#and a father who is extremely concerned with fame and glory and attention but doesnt seem to have ever stopped moving in his life#genuinely fabian does not know what a safe loving partnership would look like#and we see him constantly oscillating between emulating his mother and his father in relationships#but just beneath the surface is a little boy who wants so badly to cling to his loved ones so tight and be squeezed right back#with no way of knowing how to even ask for that if he wanted#and riz is his best friend in the world and he knows on some level that riz is simply not interested in having that kind of relationship#not on the level fabian needs#but that also makes riz a safe target for these feelings of devotion#theyre just friends! just besties! fabian never has to reckon with his own loneliness or harmful patterns#if he channels all of his yearning for closeness onto his best friend#anyway! this boy needs therapy#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fabriz
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Sydney is the reason for Carmy’s sudden interest in ‘fun and amusement’
The person that Carmy describes himself as being after losing touch with Michael doesn’t seem like someone who has ever sought out fun or amusement, in fact it seems like he’s never experienced pure unadulterated fun in his entire life. Within his family dynamic he’s the youngest of three with an abusive mother and an absent father. He adores Mikey, truly looks up to him and respects him, Mikey of course does love Carmy, but Mikey loves him in sprite of all his quirks and eccentricities. Heartbreakingly Carmy has had too dumb down what would have bought him amusement and enjoyment to fit into the dysfunctional family and not seem ‘gay’, it’s the crux of his existence. With that in mind, consider that his brother had very recently passed away, most people with that history would just plummet into a deep depression.
What changes during this time for him is Sydney’s presence. She walks into his life like a tornado and shakes thing up in such a way that he yearns for life and adventure not just passive survival. Sydney lives in her truth; food is fun, taking care of people brings her enjoyment. She’s nerdy about it unabashedly, she does her COGs and ‘randomly adds graphics’ and she wears her heart on her sleeve but lightly covers it to protect herself.
After his failed attempt to ask her out he returns to his barren apartment to google ‘fun’, so the next time he’s prepared. Carmen experiences amusement and enjoyment through Sydney hence he conceives an opportunity for him to have ‘fun’ under the guise of the menu creation. His relationship with food though daunting; is a safe space that both him and Sydney can share at this current awkward phrase in their ‘platonic but messy business relationship’. Sydney excites him and makes him feel alive!
Peep Carmy making sure Nat was gone gone before he started his fumbled locker room attempt, don’t worry we’ll get there one day. He’s keeping his private ‘amusement and enjoyment’ to himself for now but this developing love is so loud that they can’t control how it spills out at inopportune moments.
#thinking about the fun and amusement we missed out on because they aren’t ready#slow burns really be burning slow#rambling about fun#sydcarmy#the bear#sydney adamu#carmen berzatto#the bear meta#charged and sexy#carmen x sydney#the bear fx#platonic but messy#chefs kiss
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What will Mike and Will's S5 Fight Be About?
Shawn Levy basically confirme/implied another angsty Byler fight for S5.
But, what will it be about? Some think it'll be about the painting, but personally, I don't think so at all. I believe the fight will be about Mike's internalized homophobia; Mike will be afraid to romantically be with Will and it hurts Will.
First off, I don't think Mike would be mad for him hiding his feelings or lying about the painting. The sole purpose of the painting lie is to open a gate way to Mike knowing how Will feels about him. It's a set up. Why would he be mad that it was Will who thought those amazing things about him? He's in love with Will.
Now, let's see the common traits that all Byler fights have:
miscommunication, but they both want the same thing
is about their relationship
mike projecting
happens pretty early on, episodes 3-4
triggered by a shift in their relationship/mike doing something
they are alone
It's pretty predictable that S5 will focus on Mike's feelings for Will and be in Will's position this time. He's gonna be a yearning, gay mess! However, it doesn't make sense to copy every little thing as that wouldn't bring anything new to the table. It would quite frankly feel lazy and boring.
I actually believe they will be honest about how they feel episodes 3-4 (after Mike discovers the truth about the painting, what would be the shift in their relationship), and it will be a very angsty scene rather than a happily-ever-after moment (for now). Here's how I picture it: Will wants a relationship with Mike, Mike wants one too, but he's reluctant to because of the shame and bit of denial still lingering.
As understanding as one can be in this situation, it's also hurtful to hear on the receiving end. I can imagine it makes Will very upset. After so long of waiting for Mike, waiting to see if his feelings could be reciprocated, he finally gets it but doesn't get to keep it because of the shame Mike feels. Will does indeed feel like a mistake for his sexuality but, as he also states, Mike makes him feel otherwise. So, if he heard the same person that makes him feel better for who he is, say he's wrong for being the same thing he is.... that would HURT Will terribly. In Will's eyes, he will truthfully believe Mike doesn't want him, even if in Mike's POV, he wants nothing more than Will. This is where the miscommunication comes in play.
This is a real thing that happens in many Queer relationships even to today, when one is ready and the other is not yet. There is no bad guy (unless cheating, abuse, etc is involved of course) in these type of situations. You can sympathize with both sides... Which makes this a perfect fight to watch as the audience; it wouldn't make you hate either of the characters.
Some people say Mike’s accepted his sexuality by the end of S4, but I feel like if he did, it wouldn’t really be a good set up for him to be Vecna’d in S5. His struggle with who he is and his relationship with El is crucial to S5. If we keep Mike struggling with his sexuality and his trauma regarding El, this gives a purpose for him to be Vecna'd, which is the perfect way to explain a lot of his character the past seasons. Similar to how Max escaped Vecna the first time, Mike would do something similar (with the help of others, of course). He will have to accept the mistakes he's made, accept past events that were out of his control and accept who he is, or let himself die. Rather than focus so much on saving others or being needed to others, he must save himself now, for himself. He has to finally believe he is the heart. Finally confronting and accepting what he can't change will bring his character and his relationships to a full circle. It would explain his dynamic with El and Will the whole series. He will finally have the self-confidence he lost.
As much as people want Byler to have an established relationship in S5, I don't think that's likely. With a fight already implied to happen again (most likely early on), it wouldn't make much sense? They're a slow burn on top of that... The season is building up to them being together, it's not them already together (at least I don't think so).
The writers can obviously find a different route, but I feel like this would work and fit well. It would save Mike's character perfectly and it connects with the Mike being vecna'd, or at least in danger, theories; It gives it more purpose.
I just can't really imagine what else the fight would be about. It has to be about their relationship and it has to be about it changing in some way. Mike's weird behavior still needs to be explained... so I would think the fight has to be connected to the reason for that behavior. The fight would then be about his internalized homophobia. And if it is, it has to be explicitly about it, not just subtext like S3 fight.
Rather than “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls” and insulting Will, Mike straight up will have to be like, “I’m scared, what if this is wrong? I don’t know how to do this.” “This isn’t right.” This time Mike will be direct how he feels about HIMSELF, but Will would still be hurt because this is the same guy that made him feel better for being Gay…
If this is how the fight plays out, lord hold me because I won’t survive it😭😭😭
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studio ghibli ranking list let’s go
(will include nausicaä and the red turtle)
the these-are-actually-bad section:
24. earwig and the witch
actually the only one I haven’t watched so it’s cheeky to put it here. but I won’t be watching it and no one will blame me.
23. ocean waves
who sincerely cares about these teenagers they’re so annoying. if the boys had been gay it would have honestly been homophobic.
22. pom poko
this film is about shape-shifting raccoon dogs waging a war on humans and there’s copious jokes about their testicles. so on paper a perfect film. execution wise it’s so long and so boring and you care about none of them.
the cure-for-insomnia section:
21. tales from earthsea
hayao miyazaki was right to walk out of this one even though he probably is a terrible father for having done so. some of the animation was really nice but these protagonists made me yearn for the ocean waves cast because at least they have semi-personalities.
20. castle in the sky
proof miyazaki was judging his son too hard for earthsea because this is basically his version of the same thing: a nice idea with good animation and the most boring boy/girl protagonists imaginable. has got that whimsy he does so nicely however.
the passable-films section:
19. the cat returns
but should he have? was that really necessary? has a scene of cats walking in a procession on their hind legs though so that’s a plus.
18. arrietty
visually gorgeous but otherwise a very run-of-the-mill adaptation of the borrowers, which in something that should feel wondrous is less than ideal.
17. my neighbors the yamadas
some harmless and inventive fun that you can put on in the background whilst eating lunch or doing some light yoga stretches.
the don’t-harm-me-I’m-right section:
16. howl’s moving castle
yes I do in fact understand the intricacies of the plot and I still don’t care. this is one of ghibli’s messiest films for sure, it can’t decide what it wants to be or focus on and the plot just seems to happen and then not happen for no good reason. I also think howl’s a whiny bastard and hate that sophie has to mother him and endure his contemptible man tantrums. a shame because she’s actually cool.
15. grave of the fireflies
it was sweet but I’ve watched more moving animated films set in war-time, even. I don’t have much desire to watch it again honestly but maybe I will at some point.
the this-is-getting-there section:
14. the red turtle
I liked it! an acquired taste but I really felt the harshness of the elements and the cruelty and the love. it's also very beautiful to look at, one of the most visually arresting ghibli productions.
13. only yesterday
a tale of two films with this one. the parts where she's a young girl are much more interesting, but if this had stuck the landing and it'd been more even overall, could have potentially been a favourite. alas.
12. the wind rises
a genuinely weird one in ghibli's lineup, in which miyazaki meshes two different stories together (one of inventive 'genius' and a doomed love story, respectively) in a likely attempt to try and grapple with his having chosen his career over all else, including family (noteworthy is that his wife was not able to retain her career as an animator). as a piece of art it's less whimsical and more mature than many of these films, but I struggle to not let my distaste for what it potentially represents get in the way of my appreciation for it as a film, but it's so blatantly personal that it's impossible.
the that-was-just-a-good-fun-time section:
11. nausicaä of the valley of the wind
aesthetically one of the coolest films on this list but I don't remember the story as well. great protagonist too. must have been great to experience when it first came out in the '80s.
10. porco rosso
I love this film about a tomboy mechanic and some pilot guy who went off to war and was so changed he is now a pig. watching it feels like if the mediterranean was so small it fit into your back pocket and was also populated by all your friends all your enemies and your ex-lover also.
9. from up on poppy hill
I found this one boring the first time I watched it but it really grew on me with subsequent rewatches. I really like her predominantly female household and the community they share in the backdrop of the rest of the drama is sweet. the bit of drama midway through is still batshit though but in a loveable, disney-would-never way.
the near-perfect section:
8. the tale of the princess kaguya
probably takahata's magnum opus with the studio, if slightly overlong. folktales are tricky because they tend to feel moralistic and the characters one-note if you're not willing to build on them but kaguya herself feels very spirited and alive. the prettiest on the list too I'd say.
7. my neighbor totoro
cozy late summer comfort film. perhaps even more special now because I was able to see the london production. cute!
6. when marnie was there
surprised this one has ranked so high for me but that's the power of tomboy lesbians heck yeah etc. also the fantastical element of this one is so up my alley and touches upon a particular kind of childhood nostalgia I have of being in old houses and imbuing them with magical qualities. the image of anna facing the house across the marshland is burned into my retina.
the I'd-die-for-her section:
5. princess mononoke
aesthetically too cool for school and has one of the best ghibli villains and female characters (lady eboshi). they really said all the spirits of the forest are going to die in this one but well it was a nice thought.
4. ponyo
my comfort movie of all-time! heartwarming! with another great female ghibli character in lisa, sosuke's mum who is legally allowed to drive like that apparently. also one I actually watched for the first time in my childhood when I was around 7 or so at an after school club. the subtitles taught me the useful and now underused gem of a phrase "bog off".
3. kiki's delivery service
asks the important questions such as: what if you were a young witch from a dying tradition who moves to a gorgeous town in sweden? what if your remarkable gifts were no longer appreciated due to rapid advancements in aviation technology? what if you could live in a bakery?
2. spirited away
when you're just a timid child who is scared of admittedly a lot and your parents manage to mess everything up spectacularly so now you're forced to work at the age of twelve for people who steal your identity. still one of the best honestly they may never top this as the peak of their artistic achievement.
1. whisper of the heart
have you ever been a struggling artist? have you ever been in love? have you ever been obsessed with john denver's take me home, country roads? in all seriousness love a story of two artistically inclined people inspiring each other and this has a unique feel compared to other ghibli films forever favourite probably. it feels like basically no one has watched it and that's a shame. rest in peace yoshifumi kondō.
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Vampire
The 30 year old Lasse leaned against the kitchen counter, gazing out of the window as he absentmindedly sipped his coffee.
His thoughts drifted to Merle, his girlfriend, a fiercely independent journalist who had recently taken on an intriguing new subject for a feature—Mario, an enigmatic vampire. As Lasse watched the morning sunlight filter through the window, he couldn't shake the feeling of unease gnawing at the edges of his mind. Merle seemed to be captivated by Mario, and the frequency of his visits to their apartment had increased, much to Lasse's chagrin. Merle, with her sharp wit and unwavering determination, held a special place in Lasse's heart, one that yearned for commitment. But as Merle's focus remained fixed on her work and her increasing encounters with Mario, Lasse's frustration bubbled beneath the surface. It seemed that every effort he made to express his desire for a deeper commitment was met with resistance, Merle insisting that he behaved like a youth, incompatible with her independent lifestyle.
One particular evening, as Lasse returned home after a long day at work, he found Merle engrossed in a conversation with Mario.
Their laughter and animated gestures filled the apartment, a stark contrast to the tense atmosphere that greeted Lasse. Despite his efforts to join their conversation, Lasse felt like an outsider amidst their camaraderie. The weight of his unspoken longing for Merle's affection and commitment bore heavily upon him. He yearned for her to see him in a different light, beyond the confines of mere friendship. Lasse wasn't blind to Mario's charm, and the sour taste of jealousy lingered at the back of his throat, for he couldn't help but fear that the handsome and alluring vampire would sweep Merle away from him. As days turned into weeks, Lasse's turmoil only deepened. The persistent presence of Mario in their lives, coupled with Merle's unwavering fascination with the vampire, set off a storm of insecurities within Lasse. He craved the captivating allure that seemed to surround Mario, wishing he could command Merle's attention in the same way and finally convince her to marry him.
One evening, as Lasse found himself alone in the apartment, a knock at the balcony door jolted him from his reverie. Annoyance flickered across his features, assuming it was Mario once again. But as Lasse slid open the door, he was taken aback to find another figure standing before him—a vampire, with a striking countenance and an air of authority.
"I see you're expecting someone else," the vampire remarked, a hint of sarcasm lacing his words. Lasse blinked in surprise. "I thought you might be Mario. Who are you?" The vampire stepped forward, his piercing gaze fixed on Lasse. "I am Vincent. Mario's acquaintanceship, I presume, has become quite a regular affair in this household." A flicker of apprehension tinged Lasse's voice. "Yes, he's been spending a lot of time here lately. But what does that have to do with you?" Vincent's features contorted into a scowl. "You see, I've come seeking Mario's supposed crush, the one who seems to keep him hardly at home anymore." Lasse's brow furrowed in confusion. "Crush? I'm afraid you've come in vain. Merle isn't here." Vincent's expression darkened. "I have no time for jests, mortal. I won't tolerate being made a fool of." Lasse's confusion deepened. "Wait, I don't understand. What do you want from me?" Vincent leveled a pointed stare at Lasse. "It has come to my attention that Mario's affections do not lie with your girlfriend, as one might erroneously assume. In fact, he has set his sights upon you, not Merle." Lasse recoiled in disbelief. "Me? But that's absurd. Mario is—" Vincent's voice cut through Lasse's protest. "Mario is gay, and his fascination lies with you, not Merle. And make no mistake, I am envious of you. Envious that Mario's attentions are directed at you instead of me." The pieces of the confounding puzzle fell into place in Lasse's mind. His feelings of jealousy and bewilderment churned within him, and a pit formed in his stomach. "I don't know what to say. I thought he was here for Merle, not for—" Vincent interrupted, his tone taking on a sly edge. "I have a proposition, Lasse. A proposition that may benefit the both of us. What if I were to turn you into a vampire? Perhaps then, Merle would find you more enticing and see fit to marry you. And after the wedding, Mario would surely relinquish his hold on you." Lasse's initial reluctance gave way to a desperate longing for a chance to win Merle's heart. "You would—turn me into a vampire? But how do you even—" Vincent held up a hand, cutting off Lasse's question. "I must warn you, the transformation won't be without pain. But if it's your heart's desire, I can make it happen." Lasse hesitated, his mind wrestling with the tumultuous emotions churning within him. "I... I don't know if this is the right thing to do. But if it's the only way to finally convince Merle to marry me, then I'll agree to it." Vincent's lips curled into a smile, an unsettling glint in his eyes. "Very well, Lasse. Prepare yourself, for this is a decision that will forever alter the course of your existence." With those words, Vincent beckoned Lasse to a secluded corner of the apartment, where the moon's ethereal glow cast an otherworldly aura. Lasse steeled himself, his heart pounding in his chest, as he presented his neck to Vincent, ready to embrace his uncertain destiny. But Vincent's next words shattered the fragile stillness that enveloped them, leaving Lasse stunned in disbelief. "No, no, the neck will not do. It will leave unsightly marks. It would be better to bite your—" Vincent hesitated, then continued, "—penis. Yes, that will be much more discreet." Lasse's mind reeled, the air thick with an unspoken tension. Lasse hesitated for a moment, bewildered and slightly uncomfortable, but the desire to win Merle's affection eclipsed his reservations. Resolving to do whatever it took, he lowered his pants, and Vincent sank his teeth into Lasse's flesh. Agony overwhelmed Lasse, and as his consciousness waned, the world faded into darkness.
Lasse came to, his senses slowly returning, he found himself in the dimly lit living room. A stirring of confusion and disbelief coursed through him as his eyes landed on Merle standing before him. Lasse's heart surged with an unfamiliar blend of trepidation and anticipation, his voice trembling as he spoke, "Merle, I've become a vampire, for you. Will you marry me now?" Merle's laughter filled the room, her amusement evident in her sparkling eyes as she shook her head. "Marry you? Oh, Lasse, you look like a 20-year-old boy now. You've become my eternal youth, but that doesn't change the fact that everyone would mistake me for your mother."
Her playful laughter danced through the air, leaving Lasse reeling in disconcerted astonishment. It was only then that Lasse noticed his reflection in the nearby mirror, witnessing the profound transformation that had overtaken him. The realization hit him like a lightning bolt—his appearance, a stark departure from the familiar contours of his face and form. The once familiar lines and expressions etched upon his visage had vanished, replaced by an unexpected youthfulness. He struggled to grasp the profound depths of this inexplicable change the vampire had wrought upon him, a transformation far beyond the scope of his comprehension. A pulsing wave of disquiet washed over Lasse, the weight of his decision bearing down upon him like an unrelenting storm. Eager to unravel the enigma of his metamorphosis, Lasse made his way to the crypt inhabited by Vincent and Mario, his mind racing with unanswered questions.
Lasse stormed into the crypt, his youthful appearance and confusion evident as he eyed Vincent, who appeared oddly at ease and strikingly good-looking.
"What have you done to me?" Lasse demanded, his blue eyes filled with frustration. Vincent flashed a charming smile. "Relax, Lasse. You look really cute, you know. Embrace it." Lasse scowled, crossing his arms. "I don't want to look cute. I want to look my age." Vincent chuckled. "When a human becomes a vampire, their appearance reflects their inner essence. You were always youthful at heart. You should be grateful." "Grateful?" Lasse's voice rose incredulously. "I look like a teenager now! How will I ever win Merle's heart this way?" Vincent patted Lasse's shoulder. "You're missing the point, my dear Lasse. Merle isn't the only one who could fall for you now." Lasse's confusion deepened. "What are you talking about?" Vincent leaned in, his voice conspiratorial. "You see, the vampire bite on your penis not only changed your appearance but also your sexual preferences. You're no longer just straight, my friend." Lasse's eyes widened in shock. "What do you mean?" Vincent's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Well, you're about to discover a new side of yourself. You're going to be, how do I put it… open to different experiences. The bite on your penis awakens the sexual preferences of the biting vampire in you. Since I’m bisexual, soon you will be too.” Lasse stumbled back, his mind whirling. "That's not possible! I've always been straight!" Vincent's chuckle was knowing. "Just wait and see, Lasse. Things are about to get very interesting for you." Before Lasse could protest further, the crypt's door creaked open, and Mario sauntered in.
His gaze fell on Lasse, and to Lasse's surprise, he saw hunger in Mario's eyes. It made Lasse's heart race in an unfamiliar way. Vincent gestured towards Mario. "Now, Lasse, I think it's time for you to discover the pleasures that await you." Vincent's eyes glinted with amusement. Lasse's mind reeled. "I don't want this! I don't want any of this!" But Vincent and Mario advanced, their allure and power impossible to resist.
Lasse struggled, but as the night wore on, his resistance weakened. Vincent and Mario teased out feelings and desires in Lasse that he'd never known existed. Their touch was both intoxicating and mesmerizing. Lasse felt a mix of confusion, pleasure, and guilt, but deep down, a part of him reveled in the newfound attention and sensations. By the end of the night, Lasse was breathless, his mind spinning, and his desires upended. As days turned into weeks, Lasse found himself drawn to Vincent and Mario more and more. Their encounters became frequent, each leaving Lasse dazed and craving for more. The whirlwind experiences began to shape him in ways he'd never imagined, feeding his newfound vanity and confidence. Lasse reveled in the attention and pleasures that Vincent and Mario bestowed upon him and didn't care about Merle anymore. He realized that the Lasse who once yearned for commitment now seemed like a distant figment of the past, replaced by this vain and confident heartthrob he'd become. Days turned into weeks, and Lasse's encounters with Vincent and Mario became bolder, embracing a newfound polyamorous lifestyle with both men and women—an existence he'd never envisioned.
In the midst of it all, Merle's focus was on her work and a new lover.
Months passed, and the once-looming prospect of marriage dimmed to a mere whisper in Lasse's memory. The freedom he'd come to cherish held him in its thrall. As Lasse reveled in the attention and pleasures, he couldn't help but wonder why he'd ever been eager to marry. The newfound freedom and indulgence seemed to drown out the whispers of his previous desires.
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Last night, I started another rewatch of YOI and I for the first time, I wondered what was going on inside Yuuko's brain while Yuuri was showing her his take on Stammi Vicino.
What do we know about Yuuko?
Yuuko is a big skating otaku. She's not only a fan of her former rinkmate Yuuri, we also see her swoon over Viktor and Yurio (she'd totally be the type who swoons over even more skaters, but we don't know that). When she fangirls, she fangirls hard which can even cause her nosebleed.
Yuuko is one of Yuuri's greatest supporters and someone he can confide in. Together, they copied Viktor's programmes, and she always has his back.
She knows that Yuuri has a crush on Viktor and has been emulating Viktor and striving to become as good as him since they watched the Junior Worlds together as kids.
And then Yuuko, who until that point thought that Yuuri was depressed, witnesses Yuuri skate a perfect copy of his crush's free programme that can be interpreted as a (gay) love song or a yearning for a soulmate (it's a bit more complicated than that, I had started writing a post that analyses the lyrics, but put it on the backburner for multiple reasons) and not only does she recognise the programme by Yuuri's starting pose alone, but goes immediately into full fangirl mode.
That's her face when he stops to perform towards her. In that moment, realisation must hit her that Yuuri is far from giving up skating, that he has not given up on his dream of emulating Viktor and meeting him on the ice as an equal. And he shares all this with her who had been supporting his dream from the very start.
I mean, look at his yearning expression:
Yuuri is fully immersed in his performance. However, being a fan of Viktor herself, Yuuko probably knows what the song is about. And because of that, she is able to empathise with Yuuri and can guess what's going on inside him while skating Stammi Vicino. (Figure skating 101: skaters normally perform towards the judges to increase their presentation mark. But here, Yuuri is alone with his childhood friend and the effect of the move would be wasted if he doesn't perform it towards her.)
Yuuri later explains that he has been practising this programme since the competitions ended for him three months ago. He was hoping to get back his love for skating and to remember how it was like when the two copied Viktor together. Since the disastrous Nationals, Yuuri has been working towards his comeback, even if it's hanging by a thread because he's still missing something that will help him continue and he doesn't know what it is. All he knows is that he wants to return to competition and keep on chasing his dream, and he starts all over where it began (I wrote a long-ass analysis about how Yuuri utilises Stammi Vicino for exactly that purpose here).
As one of Yuuri's closest friends, Yuuko must have guessed some of this already just from watching Yuuri skate. As a fan and a former skater, she immediately understands that he has been practising this programme for some months, and the perfection it exhibits is a telltale of how strong his dream, his obsession with Viktor is still burning inside him. You don't go to such lengths when you're not extremely passionate about something.
And that's oil in the fire of Yuuko's own fannishness. Because Yuuko is a fan of both Yuuri and Viktor, she must be burning like crazy to see them compete against each other again. She's been rooting for Yuuri from the start, she wants him to succeed and be happy and if that includes Yuuri meeting Viktor again, that would be the cherry on top.
If I was her, I would freak out, too.
We're all Yuuko in this scene. But because her character is so underrated, it took me so long to notice.
#yuri on ice#yoi meta#katsuki yuuri#yuuko nishigori#my yoi meta#not really a meta but speculation#yoi#yuri on ice meta#stammi vicino
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Modern Problems, Modern Solutions pt 1
Pt2
I have like 4 other parts to this written already but I'll post em when I have time to edit. Yearning with extremely awkward teen Steddie. Eddie as a proper 17 year old would be awkward as hell! I think at least. Additionally, there is quite a bit of swearing so you've been warned. Generally, I just wanted to explore EDDIE catching feelings first and being put out by that.
Modern day AU, or more or less modern give or take 5ish years circa 2015/19. I don't think this takes place in the Hawkins we know from the show.
Small American towns can be kinda backwards, but it varies a lot as to how open and accepting each town/state is. So, suspend disbelief and imagine it as a place that is tolerant of queerness. Also, read with the understanding that in a lot of places in this generalized time people think queerness is actually kinda "trendy" in some ways. It's not taboo but it's also extremely dependant on the person that is queer and "how queer they act". "be gay... but not too gay" etc.--
---
"Did you hear? Steve Harrington just came out as bi--"
Eddie looked up from his phone, feet propped up on the desk in front of him. The boy who had popped his head into their mostly empty homeroom had delivered the news so quickly that everyone there was quietly shocked.
"Son of a bitch," Eddie grumbled, putting his feet down and getting clumps of dirt on the linoleum floor. School hadn't even started and he was already having to deal with this bullshit.
"What?" Gareth asked, laughing a bit awkwardly. He sounded confused like he didn't understand where Eddie was directing his vitriol.
"Leave it to some preppy, jock, rich-boy to make 'being gay' cool--asshole," Eddie's words were drenched in sarcasm and mockery, going as far as to air-quote when he said being gay.
"I've been fucking gay since 8th grade and now some 16-year-old wannabe happens to be queer it's big news?" Eddie sat back with frustration, crossing his arms over his chest and slouching in his seat.
"I don't think you're supposed to say queer--" Jeff started to correct only to shut up quickly when Eddie whipped his head around to him and glared.
"I can say whatever the hell I want. I'm the one that's queer!" Eddie spat, hating that so much of this 'being gay is okay' culture circled around the heterosexual perspective of what was and was not okay.
Eddie grouched for the rest of the day, keeping his head down and feeling his nostrils flare every time a whisper of today's big news passed by him in the hallways. Who fucking cared? Steve Harrington was thee popular boy in school and was talked about as if he was their generation's teen heart-throb. It was to a point where Eddie knew who he was despite him being an underclassman. He was in grade 12 and he still had to hear about Steve Harrington as if he mattered. Sports star, good-looking, daddy's boy.
It was so goddamn annoying. Eddie had been out since he was thirteen and he had suffered through the humiliation of 'being queer' all the way through high school. He had the scars to prove it and it pissed him off that four years later it felt like people were singing Steve's praises for being brave enough to come out. Who fucking cared? Being gay was cool now or something--it gave you an edge and despite the fact that Eddie was bi himself, it truly felt like bisexuality was a cop-out to get girls to think you were hot with no intention to do the whole gay part of it. That was unfair to think, but in his biased opinion, some popular boy didn't deserve to be treated delicately while he had been in the trenches over it.
Eddie glared as the school day ended as he walked outside into the Autumn air. He could see Steve across the parking lot chatting to a gaggle of people around his car. He was smiling and laughing and everyone seemed so eager to let him know they accepted him. Or whatever the fuck. He couldn't actually hear what they were saying.
"Does the torture of high school know no fucking end?" Eddie grumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets, not paying attention to where he was going.
"Tell me about it."
Eddie looked up at the sound of a voice; the words that were spoken dripped with sarcasm. Robin was leaning against her bike by Eddie, bag slung over her shoulder as she watched the fanfare from a safe distance--same as Eddie. Robin was president of the LGBT-Alliance club, and Eddie knew her from band. Robin was two years younger than him, but she had come in hot and loud about being a lesbian straight from jump. Despite how meek she was in many regards, she was smart and dedicated to her beliefs. Eddie could respect that.
"Get a load, huh?" Eddie asked, scoffing as he glanced back over at Steve.
"Hmm," Robin offered quietly, staring for a moment before starting to put on her helmet, "he's been coming to meetings pretty regularly over the last couple of months, you know."
Eddie looked back at Robin, surprised to hear her... defending Steve Harrington? He thought it was unanimous that geeks and weirdos like them hated guys like that.
"You'd know if you ever showed up for meetings," Robin said a bit flippantly, and Eddie frowned at her.
He had tried the whole LGBT-Alliance thing and it just wasn't his space. It was boring and he hated that the group generally just talked about events and progress they should make. He didn't want any of that, he just wanted to hang out with a couple of people that were queer like him. He didn't want to be scheduling and painting signs or whatever the fuck. He had his own things to do after school--band, D&D, chucking dirt wads at a wall--anything was better than sitting in what was essentially a business meeting.
"Come on," Eddie grumbled, not wanting to acknowledge that if Steve had been attending the LGBT-Alliance meetings that this 'leaving the closet thing' had been a long time coming.
"He's actually a decent guy," Robin defended as she adjusted her helmet straps, "all things considered."
Eddie huffed a laugh, scoffing at Robin.
"Didn't think I'd be hearing this from you, Buckley--I thought lesbians were supposed to hate all men or something," Eddie retorted, not really meaning it but feeling confrontational.
"Don't be a drag," Robin sighed, rolling her eyes at the comment, "talk to Will Byers about it or whatever. He's in your D&D thing, right?"
"Hellfire," Eddie corrected, thinking about that for a moment. Will was in both their clubs and he was close friends with Dustin--who also seemed to adore Steve Harrington for some reason. It was stupid, he didn't understand why half the kids in his after-school club liked the guy. Eddie had never had any personal conflict with Steve, but he fit the shape of every guy Eddie had ever taken issue with.
"Whatever," Robin retorted, getting onto her bike, "you know we're having a mixer next weekend. You should come."
Eddie looked at her, frowning again. He didn't want to go to a mixer, whatever she meant by that. Robin seemed to pick up on the mild confusion he had around the comment, explaining further.
"Geez, there's like posters around the school, Eddie. Our alliance and like 4 other schools in our district are having like an LGBT dance, mixer, party or whatever. Hosting in Talho on Saturday. We've got a pretty big turnout already, tickets are five bucks."
"Five bucks?" Eddie huffed, acting as if that number was ridiculous for an event like this. He didn't want to admit that it sounded kind of... nice. With four other school districts... that meant there would be a lot of guys that were undeniably queer he'd get to meet for the first time if he went. That was something. It'd really be something if he walked away with a date.
"I'll think about it," Eddie said, waving Robin off and continuing his slouch across the parking lot to start his long walk home.
—--
"Call me if you need a ride," Wayne said as Eddie shuffled out of the cab of the truck. He stood at the door, having to look up at Wayne in order to see him from how much the suspension of Wayne's old gas-guzzler hoisted the truck off the ground.
"Yeah, yeah," Eddie huffed, feeling put out already for having decided to come. He was having second thoughts as he stood there, holding Wayne's door.
"Eddie," Wayne said a bit more firmly, looking for a straight answer.
"I'll call if I need a ride home-- or whatever," Eddie replied, sounding annoyed as he shut the door and turned towards the school gym.
It was obvious where the event was being hosted and he felt weird showing up alone. He had decided to come after much lamenting, resigning himself to just chatting to Will all night if he hated the damn thing. It felt weird, and he quietly hoped that at least some people his age would show up. He didn't want to be stuck as the oldest person there amongst a sea of 14 and 15-year-olds.
The event wasn't formal, but Eddie had tried to clean up a bit. He'd left his leather jacket and vest at home, opting for just an old denim jacket and a T-shirt that didn't have a band or logo on it. Other than that, he was still in scuffed-up shoes and ripped jeans, but he hoped that didn't put people off. Not that it mattered. Not that he ultimately cared. He didn't want to talk to anyone who had a problem with it to begin with, but it still made him feel self-conscious. Really, he hadn't dressed up because he didn't have anything to dress up into. Even the debate of if this was worth five bucks or if he should save it in order to get the luxury of sub-par pizza next week had been a difficult choice to make. He hated showing up to things like this and sticking out like a sore thumb--he hated being easily marked as poor.
Eddie paid his entry fee and stepped into the gym; the decorations were tacky and everything screamed 'event put on by teenagers.' There was something kind of charming about that though, even if it felt a bit pedestrian. It was sort of as he feared though... there were people here--a decent amount--but everyone looked so... young. The realisation made Eddie tense a bit as he moved over to the refreshments table and idled before getting a drink.
Great. Just great. He had spent five bucks for an awkward night leaning against a wall and drinking fruit punch.
"Eddie!"
Eddie turned to see Robin waving at him. She had a vest with a button on it signifying that she was a leader in the club. She probably had responsibilities to attend to during the night, but she did look mildly excited to see him there.
Feeling like he didn't have much of an option, Eddie migrated in her direction, feeling very self-conscious about the whole thing.
"Hey, you made it," Robin offered, a few people hovering around her. It was sort of obvious that she was busy, but Eddie appreciated her taking the time to say hi.
"Yeah, figured I'd check it out at least," Eddie said, talking into his cup as he looked around the room. He didn't really have time to lament though as a small commotion worked its way towards them.
"Sorry--sorry!"
Eddie looked to see Steve Harrington making his way over to them with what looked like 4 dozen balloons. It was kind of comical really, seeing him try to fight past the sea of bobbing, colourful globes.
"Steve!" Robin said sharply, her volume subdued but still stern.
"Sorry--there was a hold-up--" Steve replied, awkwardly trying to move the balloons to see past them and talk directly to Robin.
"Oh—oh-How-what? A holdup?" Robin mocked back, tisking as she took a bundle of the balloons from Steve and handed them to the girls beside her.
"Uh, yeah, Buckley. There was a holdup, you gagging on ten-dollar lipstick or something?" Steve retorted quickly "looks good by the way." He was gesturing to the make-up Robin had on and the bright red lipstick she had applied which was fairly different compared to her usual look.
Eddie snorted into his cup, choking slightly as he tried to hold back from laughing at the burn. Robin looked offended for half a beat before smacking one of the balloons directly into Steve's face and taking the rest of the handful.
"Ow--hey," Steve complained, getting aggressively jostled as Robin walked past him.
Despite what was being said, the whole exchange had been... friendly. It was weird really, it looked and sounded like Robin and Steve were actually friends. They were toying with each other and being bitchy in a way Eddie had only ever seen best buddies do, which was really goddamn weird to see coming from a superstar, jock hunk, and the local raging feminist, band geek.
"You're on my shit-list," Robin commented, pointing over her shoulder at Steve and then bustling off with the other girls and the balloons. Obviously, they had been meant for decorations and Robin was now rushed to finish setting everything up. The whole exchange had been so quick Eddie hadn't even been able to properly react before he was standing there... with Steve.
Steve turned towards him and Eddie averted his gaze, still holding his punch glass up to his lips.
"Hey," Steve greeted, sounding much too charming.
"Hey," Eddie mumbled back, turning slightly and facing the room instead of looking at Steve. He didn't walk away, that felt like a bridge too far, but he wasn't going to open himself up to a conversation.
"Eddie, right?" Steve asked, and Eddie glanced at him, watching Steve push his hair back into place. He hadn't realised, but Steve was panting slightly, obviously catching his breath from... probably running in here to deliver Robin's balloons.
"Yeah," Eddie confirmed, looking away again as he slouched. Great. He was stuck talking to Steve with no obvious escape plan. Perfect.
"Steve--"
"I know who you are," Eddie replied, not letting Steve finish his introduction. It had probably just been to be polite anyway, but it was obvious that Eddie knew who he was. They went to school together. They had mutual friends. It wasn't rocket science.
That shut Steve up for a moment and chewed at Eddie's guts. That had been a bit rude. Steve hadn't actually done anything wrong, yet, so really he should just save it for another time. Steve was stuck here too after all, with a bunch of kids just like Eddie.
"Pretty... young," Eddie said, watching the gym as people mingled. It really was just a bunch of 14 or 15-year-olds chatting with one another. They seemed to be having fun, and Eddie was glad for that since he hadn't had anything like this when he was that age.
"Hm, yeah," Steve replied, sounding kind of amused for some reason. "Always the damn babysitter, huh?"
Eddie glanced at him for that comment, not really understanding where it was coming from.
"Yeah..." Eddie offered, wondering if he had said it because Hellfire Club also skewed younger. He had seen Steve drop Dustin off before, scolding him like a mother would over something, but he had never come inside to meet anyone at Hellfire. Eddie had just noticed it was all.
An awkward silence drew out between them and Eddie could tell that Steve was starting to feel uncomfortable too.
"You seen Will Byers anywhere?" Eddie asked, looking for an out. He knew that Steve knew Will, he was one of those mutual friends.
"Oh, yeah," Steve offered, not making a motion to point anywhere, "but I'd leave him alone tonight if I were you."
Eddie quirked a brow at Steve, something of a challenge in his stance as he looked at him. Why on earth would he leave Will Byers alone tonight?
"I drove him--" Steve half explained, obviously realising that he needed to elaborate, "that's why uh I'm--it doesn't matter. There's a boy here that he likes."
Eddie's eyebrows shot up at Steve's explanation, looking back at the floor and the sea of dweeby, little gays circling each other awkwardly. Oh. Right. This was a lot of people's first chance to do anything with someone queer like them. He hadn't considered that Will would have someone here he intended to talk to.
Eddie laughed, both at his own stupidity and the charming realisation that he was glad this whole thing was happening, even if he wasn't having a good time.
"Good for him," Eddie snorted, cheersing the room and taking a swig of his punch.
"God," Eddie sighed, finding the humour in this whole thing now, "who the hell am I supposed to bother now?"
He was lamenting for no real reason, wondering quietly to himself if he should hold out and wait to see if anyone else his age showed up or if he should just cut his losses and start the long walk home. At least then, once he got back, Wayne would just assume he got a ride and had a good time. He didn't want to admit to Wayne that he ditched, not after he had agonised over whether or not it was worth it to spend the five dollars. Wayne had supported him going and assured him it wasn't a waste if he wanted to go. Eddie didn't want to prove him wrong.
Eddie glanced at Steve, wondering how he was going to excuse himself now that his out was occupied. He caught Steve looking at him and quickly looked forward again, surveying the room. That was weird. Eddie took note of that, slowly looking back at the party unfolding before them.
"So... Bi, huh?" Eddie offered, not sure why he was trying. He'd give it until he finished his glass of punch and then he'd walk home if no one interesting entered the party.
Steve seemed to laugh a bit awkwardly to that, doing this weird thing with his hands where he clasped them behind his back and then swung them forward to clasp at his front. It was the most uncomfortable Eddie had ever seen him--not that he had paid a ton of attention to Steve before now.
Oh. Eddie realised, feeling his chest clench a little, this was a lot of people's first chance to talk to another queer person. He was the oldest one here, closely followed by Steve... they were both fish out of water. Steve had the club, but there weren't a lot of guys their age that Eddie knew of who were queer. Steve had been mingling with kids this whole time. He was the elder here... weird.
"Yeah, I didn't really expect it to become a whole... thing," Steve replied, shaking Eddie from his thoughts. Right, he had pointedly questioned Steve's sexuality. Classy.
"Yeah, well, they'll get over it," Eddie retorted, feeling a bit bad now that he had been so dismissive of Steve's attempt to talk to him.
"I mean, it's been fine, I guess," Steve replied, sounding unsure of himself but not exactly bothered. Eddie could understand that, he didn't have the same experience per se, but all the guys at Hellfire knew he was queer and it was fine. He could remember being unsure though how gay he got to act around them all. It had been awkward and uncomfortable to find the rhythm of where you all sat, even if no one was blatantly rejecting you.
"Feels like you and everyone else are walking on eggshells about it, right?" Eddie asked, sighing as he leaned back until he hit the wall behind them, slouching.
"Something like that," Steve replied, his words coming out slowly as he watched Eddie and then took half a step back to join him against the wall.
"My advice? Just don't fall in love with your best friends," Eddie joked, only half serious. It verged on real advice, but it wasn't like it was something you could help.
Steve laughed anyway, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Yeah, as if. No thanks."
Something about that made Eddie smile a bit. Steve had been so dismissive of the idea as if the mere mention of having a mild interest in some jock was unheard of.
Eddie took a swig of his punch, swallowing hard as he started to relax a little bit.
"I'm bi too, you know," he said, sucking his upper lip to get the rest of the juice off.
"I can't remember if I used that word when I came out though--people just sort of figured with me, I don't think I really had to tell anyone."
"Yeah?" Steve asked, sounding interested but not sure how to progress.
"Uh, c'ya, what do you think?" Eddie mocked back, flipping his long hair over his shoulders and then flicking it back with his hands from side to side as if he were walking down some kind of runway. Long hair didn't mean you were gay, but it was a step towards making people think you were.
Steve laughed at that too, properly this time without that edge of awkwardness to it. That, in turn, made Eddie smile a bit. He liked it when people found him funny, it felt good to make people laugh. It felt better still to be joking about something gay and not having to correct or explain anything to the other person. Steve was queer too, even if he was new at this, there wasn't that same level of judgment. Huh... funny though that he suddenly just accepted that Steve was queer when he had been put off by the idea initially.
The night carried on like that and Eddie was surprised to find... that he didn't mind talking to Steve all that much. There were quite a few cultural touchstones that he didn't have when it came to 'nerd shit' but he didn't seem to be annoyed by Eddie explaining those things to him if it was necessary. Eddie had gotten a bit louder and more loose before too long, even if he wasn't exactly buddy-buddy with Steve. And Steve, surprisingly, had stuck with him the whole night. Really, the event hadn't matured at all and Eddie had little desire to go mingle with the kids--especially when the kid that he knew here was probably trying his best to flirt. What the hell was he supposed to do? Walk up to a group of youngsters and just ask what they were talking about? "Trust me, trust me. I play games with children all the time!" Yeah, no.
Eddie's watch beeped at him and he looked at it, turning the little digital screen off. It wasn't that late, just past 10 really, but the longer he waited the more miserable the walk home would be.
"Well, that's my queue," Eddie said, pushing off the wall and leaving his cup on a table by them. "I should go."
He stuffed his hands in his pockets, not regretting having come after all, but not really feeling like staying either. Steve had made the night bearable, but Eddie wasn't all that eager to keep it up.
"Why? Or you'll turn into a pumpkin?" Steve asked, teasing a little.
Eddie snorted at him, finding that line incredibly cheesy and in turn kind of funny because of that.
"Yeah, I've got to go traipse into the woods and take root or I'll start sprouting weeds like a chia-pet."
Steve chuckled at him, looking over to the doors. Eddie started walking towards the exit anyway, and Steve seemed surprised that he was actually going. He got off the wall and walked a few paces with Eddie before they both stopped, lingering a bit.
"I've just got to start walking home," Eddie explained, pinching his brows in, finding it kind of amusing that Steve seemed... concerned? He wasn't sure, it felt out of character for a cool guy to be following him.
"Walking home?" Steve asked, again, sounding surprised. "To Hawkins?"
"No to the moon, Bilbo was writing about me. Yeah back to Hawkins," he answered sarcastically, jamming his thumb towards the doors. Steve didn't seem bothered by the reply, even if he squinted for a moment with confusion with Eddie's mention of Bilbo.
"You live at Hawkins Trailer Park, right?" Steve asked.
The question instantly made Eddie tense, and he set his jaw a bit.
"Yeah, why?" He asked, sounding a bit defensive. He didn't like this line of questioning. It always felt weird when people commented on the fact that he lived in a trailer park. It especially felt weird coming from rich-boy Steve Harrington.
"Jeez, chill. I'll give you a ride, I live near there too," Steve explained, taking his keys out of his pocket and jostling them, "Hawkins is too far to walk to from here."
Eddie blinked at him a moment, floored by the offer for some reason.
"You don't have to do that, man," Eddie replied, feeling extremely awkward all of a sudden. "You should stay."
"And do what?" Steve asked, sounding amused. He looked over his shoulder at the crowd of young teens chatting and mingling before looking back at Eddie with a raised brow.
"Fair enough," Eddie replied, banishing his guilt for now. Steve was right though, Hawkins was far to walk to from here and there really wasn't a lot keeping Steve at the mixer. Will was getting a ride home from his brother and Robin was too busy fussing over every little thing to mingle. Plus, the event really would be closing soon so Steve didn't have to stay.
Eddie still felt awkward as he walked up to Steve's beamer and prepared himself to feel awkward the whole drive back to Hawkins. It was a nice car and he couldn't help but constantly think about how he had never been in a car this nice before. It wasn't brand-spanking new, but it almost felt like it with how clean it was. The car was spotless really and it was obvious that Steve took extremely good care of his ride.
"This is... uh, a nice ride," Eddie said, running his hands over the dash as Steve drove, before sitting back again.
"Thanks," Steve replied, chuckling a little. Eddie really was admiring the car; he wasn't a gear-head but he could appreciate a nice ride. Thrill bubbled in Eddie's stomach all of a sudden as he glanced at Steve.
"How fast can this thing go?"
Steve looked at him in turn, the moment drawing out between them before Steve's lips cracked into a smile.
"Want to find out?"
Eddie's eyes widened and he smiled back, surprised and pleased that his ask was being met. God, it was so stupid. They were being such teenagers right now. Steve in his daddy's bought, fast car with the punk, bad-influence kid in his passenger's seat ready to tear it up on the freeway.
Steve pulled off the main road and Eddie's stomach swooped with excitement. He didn't know where they were going but he figured Steve knew somewhere they could drive without hitting anyone. He didn't want to be stupid about it, maybe a bit reckless, but hey--they were young. When else were they going to do this shit?
Eddie leaned forward, turning on the radio and fiddling with the dial.
"What're you doing?" Steve asked, sounding amused as they drove towards some back, country road. Perfect.
"Finding the right music!" Eddie replied, sounding equal parts excited and exasperated for being asked. He was flicking through the dial quickly, only pausing for a beat or two before switching again until he found what he was looking for.
"You done?" Steve asked as Eddie paused for a moment longer to confirm that he liked the song. He looked at Steve before cranking the volume dial and sticking his tongue out.
"Let's fucking go," Eddie whooped, sitting back and bracing himself as he felt Steve hit the gas and they started rocketing down the road.
Fear mingled with thrill as Eddie sat back, holding onto the door as they drove down this pitch-black road. He shouted with excitement, obviously stressed but having a blast. Steve seemed cool as could be, smiling with the thrill of it too but none of Eddie's anxieties.
"Fuckin' hell--" Eddie managed as they reached a bend and Steve slowed down to take it. He started to decelerate, their quick little drag race having finished.
"We should do that again!" Eddie continued, panting a bit as he felt his heart pounding in his chest.
"Chill out--" Steve snorted, falling back into the rules of the road as he stopped at an unmarked rail crossing. "Cops like to drive around here--we'd be risking it."
"Boooo," Eddie called, smiling in a joking way. He understood and he wouldn't push it even if he wanted that adrenaline rush again.
"Another time then," Eddie replied finally, pausing for a moment as he realised he had assumed he'd be in Steve's car again for some reason.
"Sure," Steve answered back easily, chuckling a little.
Eddie glanced at him, before reaching to turn the music volume back down. He didn't turn it off though, needing the quiet metal to help settle him.
Steve sure did laugh a lot, didn't he? Was Eddie really that amusing?
Eddie felt his pocket buzz and he squirmed before taking his phone out. It was Wayne. He was asking if Eddie needed a ride, surely expecting that Eddie had lost track of time or something like that. Eddie let the car fall into silence as he replied back to Wayne, feeling a bit weird all of a sudden. He kept typing and retyping what to say.
No, I got a ride from a friend. Were Steve and him friends?
I'm good. Too vague, it would worry Wayne too much.
Some guy gave me a lift. That sounded sketchy as hell. Eddie just settled on 'no, I got a ride' and left it at that, but it made him feel weird regardless.
"Everything okay?" Steve asked, drawing Eddie's attention back to him.
"Oh, yeah, no, yeah. Just my uncle wondering how I was getting home," Eddie explained, feeling weird about Steve asking him something like that. Robin had been right... he really wasn't such a bad guy after all.
"So," Eddie said, breaking the silence, running his hands over the seat, "this car get you mad puss?" He asked, his tone jovial and teasing as he stuck his tongue out between his fingers, being lewd on purpose. He didn't know why his default was raunchy humour, but it had tumbled out of him before he thought too hard about it.
"God, shut up--" Steve replied in good humour, sounding surprised and amused by the sudden comment.
"I know I've got a reputation, but jeez, man," Steve laughed, driving them back onto the main road towards Hawkins.
"So... that a yes?" Eddie teased, enjoying this little banter.
"Yeah," Steve confirmed, before glancing at Eddie out of the corner of his eye with a wry smile.
Eddie burst out laughing at that, finding it more than a little amusing that Steve was leaning into the tease and taking it on the chin.
"Fuck, dude," Eddie giggled, not sure why that was just so amusing. It felt so weird to have good-boy, Steve Harrington talking to him about getting laid. This was so fucked up. This was so fucking weird.
"So," Steve started as Eddie stared out the window, still grinning to himself a bit, "how long have you known you were..."
Eddie glanced at Steve before lounging against the door, smiling at him.
"Queer?"
Steve looked at Eddie from the corner of his eye, obviously a little unsure of himself.
"You can say it you know," Eddie offered, crossing his arms and looking nonplussed. "If you are one, you get to say it as long as you're not like slurring it at someone or something. Welcome to the restricted section."
"Alright..." Steve replied, sounding a little unsure still. Eddie smiled at that too, finding it a bit charming how baby gay Steve was over the whole thing. He felt a bit superior all of a sudden, and he liked that feeling with Steve. He was in a fast car with the most popular boy in school and he was talking to him about how to be queer. What a trip.
"Since forever," Eddie replied, "I've known since forever. It was more weird for me to figure out that not everyone felt the same way. Like, girls--guys, whatever. Hot people are hot, end of story."
Steve nodded to that and Eddie tucked into the corner of his seat, feeling cool and relaxed as he watched Steve drive.
"You?"
Steve seemed to waffle a bit at the question, putting too much thought into it no doubt.
"I don't know," he finally replied, looking dissatisfied with his own answer, "somewhat recently, I think? It's like... I acknowledged it maybe a few months ago but, I don't know. Before that, I sort of felt like I was being dramatic or something? Like, obviously, I like girls so that's fine, it felt kinda... cliche?"
Eddie cringed a bit at the phrase Steve used, nodding his head and glancing away. He had much the same judgment towards Steve until recently. That had been unfair. It didn't matter that Steve was popular or that there had been less risk involved in his 'coming out' compared to Eddie. He was pretty and sporty and even if there was something a little cliche about an all-American boy like him turning out to be queer it didn't mean it was wrong.
"Your folks know?" Eddie asked, talking softer, not wanting to pry if Steve didn't want to talk about it.
"Yeah," Steve answered easily, his tone unreadable. "They knew before I uh... came out socially?"
Eddie nodded, rubbing his head against the window and feeling the car vibrate under him.
"They... cool?" He asked, feeling a bit weird about the whole thing. He was older than Steve, but he didn't really feel like he was. Steve had so much... going on. He had his own car, activities, career paths--he seemed so put together. He was perfectly coiffed and dressed, his car spotless... Eddie was the exact opposite. He wanted to be a musician and he worked hard at it, but sometimes it felt like he was putting all his eggs in one basket.
"Uh.... yeah, mostly," Steve replied, sounding a bit hesitant.
"That great, huh?" Eddie asked, smiling lightly and trying to sound sympathetic.
"No, well, my mom seems pretty accepting of it. Unsure like... nervous? I don't know. My dad... I don't really know what he thinks yet. He's--it doesn't matter."
Eddie frowned slightly as Steve cut himself off. It was a personal topic and he didn't blame him for not wanting to share, but it felt kind of bad to hear Steve say it didn't matter.
"What about your uh... uncle?" Steve asked, sounding awkward as he shifted the conversation.
"Yeah, he's cool," Eddie replied, looking back out the window, "I don't think he really knows how to be supportive necessarily so he's just like... trucking on but he's never dropped the ball. Treats all my... gay shit as if it was just normal shit." Eddie replied, laughing a little bit. He knew he was lucky to have Wayne. Not every queer person had a supportive family and once upon a time, he hadn't had that either. Wayne was a saviour... in more ways than one.
"That's... cool," Steve answered and Eddie snorted a little at how awkward the delivery had been.
"What?" Steve replied, sounding a bit amused.
"That's... cool," Eddie mocked, making his voice sound girly and vapid.
"Shut up," Steve scoffed, drawing up the syllables a bit.
Eddie grinned, liking that Steve seemed to be easy to torment. He went for the bait every time, but he never seemed overly offended.
"Gee wiz, Eddie, your uncle seems like such a cool guy," Eddie continued, being annoying on purpose. He kept it up as Steve started to laugh in mock annoyance. "Let's you go to a pre-teen party and everything."
"Stop--" Steve booed, glancing at Eddie quickly before purposefully wobbling the steering wheel and making the car quickly veer back and forth.
Eddie jolted up right at the movement, grabbing the door.
"Shit--don't--" Eddie squawked, smiling despite how that had made his stomach drop.
"Asshole--" Eddie jeered, looking at Steve who was grinning back at him. Okay, so Steve was actually fun? Was this why Dustin and those kids liked him so much? Mr. Uptight-jock was actually a little bit of a wild child hidden behind good hair and a dazzling smile?
Eddie settled into his seat, feeling kind of good about the night as he looked back out the window and let the rest of the drive grow quiet. They weren't far from Hawkins now and a part of Eddie felt kind of strung out from the weird emotional whiplash of the night.
"You know," Eddie said as they pulled up towards the trailer park, "you're actually not a bad guy, Steve Harrington."
Steve looked at him, eyebrows pinched in with mild concern.
"Thanks?"
"It's a compliment," Eddie scoffed in a friendly way, unbuckling his seatbelt as Steve drove slowly down the gravel road.
"Oh, well, thank you then," Steve reiterated a bit more sarcastically.
"You're also kind of a bitch," Eddie retorted, smiling at him and getting an incredulous sound from Steve. The car pulled to a stop and Eddie climbed out. He shut the door but lingered a second until Steve rolled down the window. He leaned over the frame and looked in at Steve.
"I can see why those kids think you're kind of cool," Eddie continued, feeling kind of... charmed. "Guess that makes you cool in my books too."
"Cool? Or cool?" Steve asked, mocking Eddie's previous buffoonery.
Eddie laughed, shaking his head as he leaned back.
"You're a bit of a dork too, you know that?"
He liked dorky guys.
"A dork? This? Coming from you?" Steve asked, inching his car forward a bit to keep Eddie in view of the window.
"Oh, cram-it," Eddie retorted, flipping Steve off through the window. He patted the doorframe lightly, careful not to hit it with any of his rings.
"Thanks for the ride though," Eddie swallowed, not really looking at Steve but still trying to be friendly.
"Yeah, man. Don't worry about it."
Eddie nodded, feeling weird about just walking away. He kind of wanted to stay out, chat more, and just listen to the radio with Steve which was... a weird thought. They didn't really have anything in common, and somehow Eddie knew that they weren't going to talk again at school. Steve was popular, he wasn't. Eddie was graduating this year, and Steve was 16. They ran in completely different circles.
"Kay, well, later then," Eddie offered, half waving his hand in front of the window before sticking his hands in his pockets and walking towards his trailer. Steve didn't say anything back, but he waited for Eddie to get his door open before pulling away like a proper gentleman.
The whole night felt... so odd to Eddie. He didn't know if he could say he had a good time, or even what had happened during the night, but it had been... nice. It had nothing to do with the mixer or anything Eddie had prepared himself for that night but instead, his good mood rested solely on his interaction with Steve. It was so weird and it left him feeling like he was in limbo. Like this night had been a weird pocket event and he'd never have a repeat of anything like it again. Nothing big had happened, nothing important, and there was nothing to remember about it really... but it felt like he wanted to hold onto it somehow.
Eddie huffed and stretched his lips, before finally taking the last few steps into the trailer. There was no point dwelling on something he couldn't touch and thinking too hard about it would probably ruin everything anyways. This could just be a one off. He could just look back on this and think about how nice it had been to bond... with Steve Harrington.
#steddie#in later chapters Eddie pretends to be a dorky vampire#steddie fic#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#my_writing#i really love writing them “getting together”#i think it's so fun to explore all the different ways it could happen
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STEVE & BUCKY'S LOVE STORY, UNABRIDGED SOMEWHAT ABRIDGED, part 3/4 (here are part 1 and part 2)
i just want to preface this by saying: as much as they tried to make this movie all about tony, and as much as they tried to no-homo the steve/bucky situation, they still somehow ended up making CACW the gayest movie in the whole cap trilogy, and that's saying something *throws confetti*
now, picking up where we left off:
aided by his friends sam and natasha, steve spends the following two years or so chasing after bucky, looking for clues as to where he could be hiding, until he eventually finds him.
their reunion scene is like. i honestly don't know if i can convey the sheer, ridiculous, absolute beauty that is this scene.
the thing is, steve isn't the only one who discovered bucky's location: the bad guys did too, and they're coming. like they're coming RIGHT NOW, as sam keeps trying to warn steve. which means that he and bucky have about 20 seconds to do this, and that might sound like too short of a time, right? but honey, the amount of repressed emotions and homoerotic subtext these two manage to stuff into those 20 seconds, my god--
no because like, there's a whole-ass SWAT team outside, waiting to crash through their door and blow up the place, yeah? and instead of getting the fuck out of there PRONTO, steve, mr romeo fucking rogers, decides to spend those precious few seconds trying to get bucky to admit that he loves him, making this much yearned-for, long-awaited reunion the most high-stakes game of gay chicken in the whole of history. you might think i'm kidding, but i'm not!!!!
INTRODUCING:
in the red corner, we've got steve basically telling bucky: "i know that you remember me, i know that you saved me because you still love me, please will you just say it out loud babe"
and in the blue corner there's bucky, extremely conflicted because YES, of course he loves steve, but he also knows he's putting steve in danger just by standing in the same room as him, and steve shouldn't even be here in the first place, and anyways STEVE NOW'S NOT THE TIME PLS FUCK
so he's just (unsuccessfully) trying to deny everything, you know?? "fuck no i don't know you, just know your name from a museum, what do you mEAN i saved your ass because i love you more than life itself and that's literally the first thing i remembered when i got my memory back"
(a quick reenactment:)
but really, you'll see the love in bucky's eyes if you just look hard enough.
n- no, look harder
a bit harder?
see, i told you
so here they are, just about to slam each other into the nearest wall and make out like it's brokeback mountain and they're just two guys coming from a time where their love had to be kept a secret and they miss what little privacy they used to have in their own little bubble when they were younger and living together and then life tore them apart and they haven't seen each other in ages and they've been yearning all the while and now that they're finally standing before each other again the air feels electric between them and they just can't help but- wait. uh. that, uh. that sounds familiar. uh.
OKAY so they're totally about to snog the living daylights out of each other, but time is running out. the bad guys are here!! and- and also a bunch of other people! because apparently everybody wants bucky either dead or locked up for one reason or another!! MY BOY CAN'T CATCH A FUCKING BREAK!!
so bucky is apprehended. but before anyone can do much about it, this other guy - this movie's Official Antagonist™ - gets bucky alone and triggers bucky's brainwashed assassin persona into taking over.
no longer conscious of his own actions, bucky wreaks havoc in the building, knocking people down in his wake like a sexy buff steamroller, and tries to escape; but steve, desperate not to lose him again, goes after him and stops him.
by grabbing onto a fucking helicopter, as one does
one extremely romantic, freaking insane stunt later, steve manages to get bucky to safety. next thing you know, bucky's waking up and back to himself, and they finally have a bit longer than 20 seconds to talk. you think they're gonna be normal about this? you think they're gonna share a standard heart to heart conversation? oh hell no, babes. WHIP OUT THE BEDROOM EYES, TURN THAT SOFTNESS UP TO ELEVEN, WE'RE UNLOCKING A BRAND NEW LEVEL OF EMOTIONS HERE
seriously. you don't know what true tenderness is, until you've heard james buchanan barnes softly say, in his sweet, gruff, velvety drawl, barely holding back a smile, "your mom's name was sarah. you used to wear newspapers in your shoes."
also the two of them just. spend half the scene making INTENSE heart eyes at each other, gazing deeply and intimately in each other's eyes, just bypassing the flirting zone to move straight to eye-lovemaking lane, while sam is in the room, because they've got no chill whatsoever.
unfortunately, sam cockblocks reminds them that they don't have time for this shit (dammit, sam) as they kinda have more pressing matters at hand, being on the run from like every government in the world (and then some). also they must neutralize The Antagonist™ before he can act on his Evil Plan™, so, you know. put the eyesex on hold, guys!
(to be continued in part 4)
#stucky#stevebucky#the silly stucky recap you didn't ask for#part 3 :D#so this got too long and i thought it'd be best to split it in two parts#hence the change from 3/3 to 3/4#rillers scribbles#i'm still not 100% sure how to tag it in the first place tbh xD#but here#have some silliness in your day#cacw
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Ooh ohh! DarkSiren reader x pirate ransom!!! Pleasee
hello honey! this was fun to write, and I hope you like it!
summary - you are the siren that wants the famous pirate ransom drysdale, and the moment you get close to getting what you want, the universe decides otherwise.
warning - slight angst, stalking, dark content, mentions of whores, seducing, mentions of kidnapping.
the gif I use isn't mine, divider by @newlips
You had known of the famous pirate that roamed the seas. You had followed him, watching from afar as he ordered his crew around. You watched as the many whorish human women tried and failed to gain his attention. Some only managed to get to his bed and were sent off the same night. You could see how dissatisfied the pirate was. As if he yearned for something more, something… Unique. You watched from the shadows. Your body is submerged deep in the cooling water. You knew that the humans had heard and created stories based on what you were, some even hunted you, and sometimes they succeeded in catching your kind. Your sisters had been taken, locked away to be experimented on.
You wanted the pirate. He was a dream. You wanted to claim him as your own. So you followed him the next morning, not getting too close to the ship as you didn’t want the others to spot you. You had a plan, knowing he sometimes ventured off alone once they reached land, enjoying time to himself. What better way to finally get what you want. You swam to shore, perching yourself on a rock away from the pirates but close enough to get the one you want to hear you. You waited until you heard him approaching the area, his mind elsewhere.
“Upon one summer's morning, I carelessly did stray,
Down by the Walls of Wapping, where I met a sailor gay,
Conversing with a bouncing lass, who seem'd to be in pain,
Saying, William, when you go, I fear you will ne'er return again.”
You watch as he turns to look in your direction. You can see him slowly fall under your spell as the words flow from your lips. You beckon him over, giving him an innocent smile as you don’t want to set off any alarms in his head. The pirate begins to make his way over dazedly, a lovestruck look in his eyes.
“His hair it does in ringlets hang, his eyes as black as sloes,
May happiness attend him wherever he goes,
From Tower Hill, down to Blackwall, I will wander, weep and moan,
All for my jolly sailor bold, until he does return.”
He stares, softly swaying as you continue to sing. Your siren voice makes the song sound smooth and seductive, calling to the pirate like water calls him. You sound like the waves crashing against the rocks and birds singing. You sound like perfection to Ransom. You were both a pirate’s dream and nightmare, all mixed in one. In the back of his mind, he knew he should try to fight this, that Ransom was in danger if he continued getting closer to you. He was captivated, his eyes taking in how beautiful you looked, your hair flowing freely in the breeze, your skin glistening against the sun, your breasts pushed together perfectly, and your tail was so close to perfection, the gold reflected wonderfully against it all.
“My father is a merchant—the truth I now will tell,
And in great London City in opulence doth dwell,
His fortune doth exceed ₤300,000 in gold,
And he frowns upon his daughter, 'cause she loves a sailor bold.”
Your voice travels, swirling around his head and pulling him closer to you. You were so close to finally getting the man you have been wanting. You grin as you reach your hand out and stroke his cheek, sighing a soft sigh as you finally feel his flesh against yours. He had to be the cleanest pirate out there, his face clean-shaven and his hair slicked back. You lean closer, your lips nearly touching his as you continue seducing him with your siren song.
“A fig for his riches, his merchandize, and gold,
True love is grafted in my heart; give me my sailor bold:
Should he return in poverty, from o'er the ocean far,
To my tender bosom, I'll fondly press my jolly tar.”
Ransom’s pupils enlarge, causing his blue eyes to nearly turn black. His eyes are half-lidded, and his gaze flickers between your eyes and your plump lips, feeling the deep desire to seal your words with a kiss. His mind was filled with love, wanting to take you far away from the other pirates, wanting you all to himself. His fingertips itched with needing to grab you and take you far away, keep you chained to his bed as he worshipped you.
“My sailor is as smiling as the pleasant month of May,
And oft we have wandered through Ratcliffe Highway,
Where many a pretty blooming girl we happy did behold,
Reclining on the bosom of her jolly sailor bold.”
A soft whine escapes Ransom’s mouth as you slowly slide off the rock and into the water, grinning as he begins to follow. He steps into the cooling ocean, and his shoes and pants become soaked. You swim back, continuing to sing to him. You were so close to achieving your dream, so very close.
“Come all you pretty fair maids, whoever you may be
Who love a jolly sailor bold that ploughs the raging sea,
While up aloft, in storm or gale, from me his absence mourn,
And firmly pray, arrive the day, he home will safe return.”
Ransom goes deeper into the water, coming closer until your bodies touch, and his hands move to cup your cheeks, stroking them with his thumbs. He sighs, falling deeper and deeper under your spell. No longer worried about the world around him or that he is in incredible danger, Ransom didn’t know that his crew had begun to look around for him, wondering where their Captain had gone for so long.
“My name it is Maria, a merchant's daughter fair,
And I have left my parents and three thousand pounds a year,
My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold,
There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold.”
You are so close, your lips inches away from each other. You sing the last words of your song, knowing you finally have him in the grasp of your hands. Yours and Ransom’s eyes flutter closed as you are about to kiss. But before your lips can touch, there are shouts, men running toward the area you are in. Your eyes fly open, and you snarl. Your cat-like eyes snap to the pirates, hissing as they shout at you, their weapons raised. You look sadly at Ransom, his eyes opened and watching you, and you quickly launch forward, placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth before flying back and deep into the depths of the ocean. You quickly swim away as the pirates begin to throw their weapons and help pull their Captain out of the water.
Ransom shakes his head, snapping out of the trance he was in and looking out into the water. His men are talking, pulling him from the ground, but all Ransom can focus on is you. You had now taken over his mind, and he didn’t know if it was because of your siren qualities or you. His face sets into a scowl, growling at his men to return to the ship and leave him alone. Ransom shrugs them off, brushing the sand off his clothes and glaring at the water. He watches as your head pops up a ways away. He can tell you are looking in his direction, and the challenge has started. He knows you want him, but now he wants you, and he will stop at nothing to get what he wants. It’s how he is the better pirate out there. No one can tell him no.
Stories would be told many generations later about the pirate and the siren.
thank you for reading!
feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.
#imyourbratzdollasks#anon reply#imyourbratzdollwork#ransom drysdale#chris evans#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans characters#chris evans x female reader#ransom drydale x you#ransom drysdale fanfic#ransom drysdale fanfiction#ransom drysdale x reader#ransom drysdale x y/n#ransom drysdale x you#ransom drysdale imagine#ransom drysdale au#ransom drysdale fic#ransom drysdale fluff#ransom drysdale one shot#ransom drysdale angst#ransom drysdale x female reader#chris evans x reader#chris evans angst#chris evans blurb#chris evans character#chris evans drabble#chris evans fan fic#chris evans fan fiction#chris evans fandom#chris evans fanfic
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I’m a nice person and all but I’m a hater at heart so let me just air out my grievances for everyone after this TSATS teaser:
• Some of you all really are insufferable because what do you mean this is Jasico material? What are you fangirling over? Nico missing his best friend? His first friend, yet another one of the people close to him that’s dead?
It’s really giving “fellas, is it gay to miss your dead friend?” “is it gay to yearn your dead friends touch?”
I really do not care if you like Jason and Nico together but to go to this extent, as well as the whole “lol this is marketed as Solangelo but really it’s Jasico <3” like I want you to be so for real right now-
• Tied to the first one because Nico and Will are not going to break up. Nico is not going to “realize” the he likes someone else and not his current boyfriend, who he gushed about like crazy in these few chapters. Yeah they’re probably going to hit a roadblock or argue along the way but what couple doesn’t? Ask a madly in love married couple if they’ve ever been annoyed with one another at some point in time and come back to me then.
• These teenage boys are not infants they can joke with each other however they like. This is in Nico’s POV and he does not show the slightest discomfort at Will’s jokes or presence or anything so I don’t understand where some of you are coming from. As a former teenager with former teenage friends, I can say that there are couples of all flavors and it’s not up to you to push your boundaries on others. Yeah these mental health jokes wouldn’t fly with *some* people but that’s not them so move on.
• Listen I like the hc that Percy is bisexual but this is like the second time he was referred to as straight. He’s straight unless he comes out somewhere in the book or in the next one, Chalice of the Gods. You can’t be genuinely mad at Rick for putting a sexuality to his character…
• Finally this one is for me but yeah Percy and Nico weren’t that great of friends. There was never that connection so, again, can’t be too mad when Nico says they literally weren’t that close.
Alright that’s all for now 😶
#pjo#pjo fandom#solangelo#nico di angelo#will solace#solangelo book#the sun and the star#tsats#tsats spoilers#jason grace#jasico#percy jackson#I’m a problem
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This idea came from being sleep deprived but—
Lesbian!Amber meets gay!Wilson and become each other's beards.
Amber is quietly shattered. She stole a spoon from Thirteen's lunchbox and tested her DNA. She knows before Thirteen does. She's trying to learn not to care and she runs into Wilson who has never been exceptionally good at not caring. He gets all the wrong ideas. She explains the right ones. Coffee turns into hanging out turns into falling asleep on the couch together after watching Victor/Victoria.
He moves in with her, his own room. They're friends. She advocates for him fiercely, he likes that. He teaches her the importance of gentleness, she likes that.
When she says, "I always thought I had to choose between being loved and being respected. With Wilson, I have both," she means it. He's the first friend she's ever had who isn't alienated by her demeanor. Who's just as fucked up as she is (more fucked up) in an incredibly tender way.
Each offers empty advice to the other. Amber wants Thirteen and can't get the nagging sense of her impending doom out of her head.
"I want to learn not to care," she says.
"You should care."
"Do you care?" she asks him.
"Yeah. It's bothering me."
"Have you told her?"
"No."
"Did you tell House?"
"No, he'd tell her. She doesn't want to know."
Wilson knows he has feelings for House that he shouldn't have, he always has, and Amber sees that for what it is.
"You're either going to go for what you want or you're going to figure out how to want something else. Stringing yourself around after him isn't the look."
"What I want isn't an option, and I've tried wanting something else."
"You're gay. Try wanting someone you're attracted to. You'll get farther."
Neither one of them will ever improve. They'll both go on yearning and pass out drunk watching stupid gay movies together.
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Please. Rengoku my beloved. I need headcannons of him with a Electro Hashira. Like the electric Archon but like.. a dude. I love gay people.
-out of pocket anon
𝗞𝘆𝗼𝗷𝘂𝗿𝗼 𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗼𝗸𝘂 𝘅 𝗠𝗮𝗹𝗲, 𝗘𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗿𝗼 𝗔𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗻-𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗮 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿
𝗘𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗿𝗼 𝗛𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗮 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿:
Much like Rengoku, M/N, the Electro Hashira would be passionate and absolute in his ideal. He yearns for a world in which humans can live eternal, without fear of demons feasting on their flesh. They are the enemy, and as such, none should be spared.
Because of this ideal, it is a known fact that he has immense respect for the master, as well as his fellow Hashira- even if the manner in which they conduct themselves is rather... unorthodox... by his standards.
When meetings come about, M/N's very confident in his stances and sticks very close to this ideal. This trait leads to fairly interesting encounters and debates, in which his stubborn insistence can be both a comfort and a thorn in one's side depending on the situation. That said, it can also make him predictable. If facts are twisted in just the right way, it's easy to gain his support, and immensely difficult to get him to change his mind.
Rengoku admires his passion. He sees it as a raging inferno that must be cherished, elegant even as it burns that which stands in its path. That said? He admires the Hashira's curiosity just as much.
When the Electro Hashira eventually does concede to being wrong or misled, his gaze has a tendency to veer outward, looking to others to see just what else he might be missing. This can lead to some very interesting takes while he reconstructs his ideals.
Rengoku is one of the few Hashira who doesn't mind being put together with M/N in missions. His rigidity is something that Rengoku finds easy to work with, despite it being a quality that others tend to dislike. They find common ground easily enough, and when it comes to mission execution? They finish jobs swiftly together. They can be flexible if absolutely necessary, but why differ from the standard protocol if it's effective?
It's no surprise to anyone when they begin sticking close to each other during meetings. With Rengoku's enthusiasm directed to his duties and the Electro Hashira's unwavering attitude, they aren't often on opposing sides of issues.
The Electro and Flame Hashiras tend to cover each other's flanks in verbal discussions as well as battles.
Pile that on top of the sheer experience they have with each other in the field, and it's a recipe for unwavering bonds. They tend to wander into each other's company quite often, sometimes without realizing it.
Both men were likely so focused on their duties that neither noticed the blatant attraction they had toward each other. Conversely, Mitsuri, Tengen, and the boss noticed their chemistry almost immediately.
Virtually any time that one of them tried to bring it up, save for maybe the boss, they were met with denial on both their parts. As far as they were concerned, they were totally just close friends and comrades. Totally.
As far as their relationship goes, Rengoku was the one who began initiating things at first. When the Electro Hashira was sequestered in their "Plane of Euthymia" in mourning of his men and those lost, he went out of his way to visit them, offer his condolences, or invite them out on excursions, work-related or otherwise. Similarly, if he happened to be by a Wisteria House that M/N was staying in while off duty or injured, he would drop by and give his fellow Hashira a visit.
This may originally have proved annoying at first, the Electro Hashira not really appreciating the intrusions in his home, but the Flame Hashira eventually grew on him. One by one he began returning the man the same courtesies, growing increasingly irritable whenever he came back injured from a mission due to being reckless, giving the man an earful. Kyojuro would always laugh heartily, promising to make up for it later.
They grew rather close over their years of service together, patching each other up between missions and supporting each other as they fought through hell and back, both men acting as a safe haven for each other.
While Rengoku was certainly more verbal about how much he treasured these "momentus occasions"- literally just their outings together- the Electro Hashira was a bit more poised and quiet about the matter, showing their appreciation through various nonverbal means of communication. Perhaps something he'd grow to regret in the aftermath of the Mugan Train incident.
AN: Sorry this one took so long, there were so many places I could take this that I didn't know where to start! Hope you enjoy it, and if you want more? You can always feel free to send another request. May your day be as wonderful as the ocean's abyss is deep.
If you're new here, I take requests. You can find my rules here.
#demon slayer x male reader#demon slayer#kny x male reader#kny#x male reader#rengoku x male reader#rengoku kyojuro#kyojuro x male reader#rengoku#kyojuro#male reader
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Jeff's Relation to the Other Pastas
plz dont come for me this is my own personal au or whatever im not claiming these as facts o___o
also sorry if i didnt add ur favorite i just did the most relevant ones ig idk sorry this kinda sucks!!!!!
🩻EJ: #bestfriends4lyfe they clicked when they first met and they've been best friends ever since. they have the kind of friendship where they can just sit in silence doing their own thing just enjoying each other's presence. EJ doesn't talk much anyway and Jeff respects that. they do everything but also nothing together, its really sweet.
🪓Toby: they definitely have a thing going on IM SORRY SUE ME. they have a history of absolutely hating each other but over time they both realized they were trying to hide their attraction to one another. jeff always looked for reasons to be closer to toby, even if it was just to bully him. either way toby yearned for jeffs company. now they both bully each other but affectionately
🖤Jane: NUH UH. KEEP THEM AWAY FROM EACH OTHER AT ALL COSTS. these 2 in a room together is basically opening pandoras box
🎮BEN: they are the epitome of straight boys that claim to be straight but act so painfully gay with each other. they will literally make jokes about fucking but get offended when someone questions it. theyre also the ones who are always staying up all night playing video games and waking everybody up with their screaming and yelling
🎀Nina: nina is jeff's crazy ex girlfriend. they stayed friends after the breakup but nina is still super clingy and jeff uses that to his advantage to boss her around all the time. little does he know she still snips locks of his hair when hes not looking and has a whole shrine for him in her room :3
🧸Sally: jeff treats sally a lot better than the rest of the pastas. shes basically jeff's younger sister; they have movie nights together every weekend and they also play a lot of dress-up and hide and go seek. sally also likes to force jeff to let her give him makeovers. jeff is like a different person around her, its nice to see him be silly every once and a while
🍬LJ: jeff annoys the absolute shit out of this man. hes like the authority figure that jeff likes to disobey just to be annoying. he roasts the absolute shit out of him for being a clown and pulls pranks on him constantly but always hides before LJ can beat the living shit out of him. jeff is like 2 whole feet shorter than him but hes somehow not scared of him. LJ is like his own personal punching bag for no reason
#creepypasta#jeff the killer#jeff woods#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta jtk#jeff the killer hc#jeffrey woods#jtk#jtk headcanons#jeffery woods#creepypasta hcs#creepypasta fanfic#creepypasta au#eyeless jack#laughing jack#nina the killer#ticci toby#sally williams#ben drowned#ticci toby x jeff the killer
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Habit ~ E.O.
A/n: This felt the way eating something for the first time in a longen time when you are it a lot as a kid? Does that make sense? Idk I just love it
Request: “...Enoch O’Connor x Male I beg of thee” by anon
Word count: 2200+
MASTERLIST
Jake was the most annoying person Y/n had ever met.
The problem with a boy shaking the very core of the way Miss Peregrine's Home worked, is that there was a set routine. Not just the same day, every day. Not just the same clothes. Not just the same activities and expectations, but also the same people. The same dynamics. Everything was clear and simple and predictable - as it was supposed to be. It was Enoch and Horace and Olive and Fiona and Claire and Emma and Millard and Bronwyn and Hugh and the twins and Y/n. They all had their chores, their meals, and their rooms. Wake up, do the exact same thing, reset the day, go to bed.
In some ways, Jake changing everything was nice. Emma was happier with him, and they were safer now. They'd always be safe now. Miss Peregrine didn't have to deal with her imperfect day, and they had lots of new friends.
Change was hard though, and unpredictable. Emma and Jake, and then Fiona and Hugh. And then suddenly everyone was a lot less okay with Enoch and Y/n pining for each other but never doing anything about it.
Enoch and Y/n had always been like this. They avoided each other despite everything, somehow having pulled it off for decades straight now. Anytime they did talk, the room seemed to go still. They were insatiable, starving for each other. Every look was too long, and yet too short. Every conversation saturated with so much emotion neither boy could handle it.
Being a teenager was hard.
But for decades, everyone had left it alone. At some point the distance and awkwardness and desperate yearning had become a part of the routine. Wake up, do what you did everyday, glance over the way Y/n's breath caught, a smile tugging to his face when Enoch brought something to life, ignore the way Enoch's eyes lingered when Y/n began to chat with a bird or squirrel or worm.
Even Fiona was good at it, and she was Y/n's sister. They had always been far more concerned with their own relationship as siblings. Two halves of one whole - a plant gift and an animal gift. Flora and fauna.
But now she was busy with her own crush, and without her there to fill Y/n's time, it was more and more obvious how ridiculously in love he was. Olive had met a girl in the other loop they'd joined who had wings, and the two had been having a ball flying around together - which meant Enoch was more available than normal as well.
Of course they ended up in the same space more often than they usually did.
The new kids weren't used to the pining. It wasn't routine, they hadn't learned to ignore it. And the more they pointed out that the way Enoch and Y/n acted wasn't a just-friends-and-family feelings kind of situation, the more the other kids acknowledged it too. Suddenly everyone was looking at the boys expectantly, and with all those eyes on them... it was hard to ignore their own situation even more.
This was especially hard on Y/n. He had always known he wasn't going to end up with some epic love like in the books. Even before the loop, everyone had marked him as insane and weird. His little sister could make flowers grow in the palm of her hand, and her older brother knew all the town secrets because the pets could talk to him. But after the loop? The options were so limited and he was gay - it wasn't going to happen. No way in hell that with one person he could even possibly end up with, who he liked, liked him back. That sort of thing was difficult to find even with several options. But one?
Not to mentioned he hadn't really come to terms with the fact that he wasn't straight. Everyone knew he was into Enoch, but outside of that they had no idea what was going on with his sexuality. He'd never opened up about it, and flat out denied anytime someone had asked. Even Fiona had nothing to offer in terms of information - he hadn't told her anything either. Which was weird, because they knew a lot about each other. She was his confidante.
He'd never even admitted it to himself.
That wasn't good enough for Leroy and Sofie though. They were two of the kids from the other loop, and they were determined to play match maker between the two boys. It was how a harmless game night had gone so terribly wrong. They had convinced Jake to talk about all the silly, immature party games he had heard of and to "experience the culture they were missing out on" all the kids from both loops had been dragged into several different rounds of truth and dare and spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven. Nothing happened for most of the people, who only fist bumped or took the opportunity to info dump in a space where the other person had no option to listen.
And then Enoch and Y/n got picked.
For the first ten minutes, both boys were completely composed. But Enoch had a very good understanding of time and as more than seven minutes passed, he grew agitated. "It's been long enough, let us out," he called.
When all that came back from the other side was giggling, Y/n got irritated too. Being this close to Enoch was bad enough without there being a foreseeable end in sight. "Guys. Guys!"
"Talk about your feelings!" Sofie called back, and a dozen pairs of feet could be heard on the stairs, leaving Enoch and Y/n. In a closet. Locked for who knows how long. Alone in an entire room, in the basement.
Miss Peregrine would put it together and come and get them before dinner, but... even that was a long way away.
It was quiet a long time, but eventually even Enoch couldn't handle it. He broke first.
"Are we just going to wait for Miss Peregrine?"
Y/n shrugged. "They all left, so... It's not like even if I did anything here they'd let us out."
"Did anything?" Enoch scoffed. "Did what exactly."
"I don't know," Y/n snapped. Both boys were rather hot headed and tended to interact with each other through biting remarks and snarky banter. These snippy words were familiar to them.
Enoch rolled his eyes. "I'm not just going to sit here that whole time. At least tell me what they think we need to share feelings about?"
Y/n shrugged. "Beats me."
Another king quiet and then Enoch seemed to soften. He had changed a lot since Jake too. He had been so defensive of Emma before, but now he saw the flaw in that. Emma and Jake were happy, and more than anything he... envied them. He wanted that. And he had wasted enough time keeping himself from it. If Emma could open her heart to getting broke to risk love and succeed... maybe he could too. "Y/n."
"What?" He was gorgeous. That withering look and unwavering attitude. Enoch loved that he could always keep up, matching any sass off or sarcastic comment. Often beating Enoch at what he had always considered as his own private game. A game he never lost at... until Y/n. Y/n who found his homunculus fascinating instead of disturbing and never scared at even the worst of Enoch's attempts. Y/n who was so awkward and brash with people, but so gentle and calm and caring toward animals. Y/n, who was his best self out in the woods with no shoes on and a smile on his face as he closed his eyes and listened to the wind through the trees, the birds singing, the bugs buzzing...
"Do you want to play Twenty Questions?" It was another of Jake's silly games. They had planned to play it after Seven Minutes in Heaven but, well, now they were locked in a closet.
Y/n shot him a withering look, cocking an eyebrow. "No."
Enoch's lips almost twitched into a smile. "Come on. Since when are you more of a buzz kill than I am?"
Y/n sighed. "Fine. Whatever." He looked at Enoch again and couldn't help but soften. They were both like this. Hard to touch, impossible to get close to. Rough and snappy. Except for those select few. For Enoch, it was the girls. Fiona and Claire had it the easiest; Olive had to work for it; Emma had gotten under his skin after Abe. For Y/n, there was no one who had worked their way into his good graces as well as Enoch had. He of course had softness for the kids, always taking to children who needed someone to have their back - even if they wouldn't admit it - but Enoch was still special. He always was.
Enoch swallowed a smile, matching Y/n's casual energy. They both leaned against the wall, Y/n crossing his arms over his chest and Enoch slipping his hands in his pocket. "You go first," Enoch encouraged. There was something playing in his eyes, so bright it shone even in the low lighting.
Y/n raised an eyebrow, unsure. "Okay... what's your favorite color?" It was a dumb question - he already knew - which meant that if Y/n wasn't going to try neither was Enoch.
"Triangle." He smirked, then leaned forward. "Do you like men?"
There was a long silence in the closet. It felt... horribly fitting. Suffocatingly on point. "Why do you ask?"
"That's not an answer," he shot back.
Y/n's face burned. "That's a dumb question! You've never cared once in our decades of friendship and now you do? Why?"
"Because of Jake." Y/n almost began going off about how annoying Jake was, but Enoch cut him off. "I thought everything was set in stone. He were the group we'd always been. Abe proved it to me. We can get smaller, but never bigger. But then Jake came along and left behind everything for Emma. And I realized, maybe that's what love is. Maybe it's giving up what was for what could be. Because it's worth it. And if I made a leap like that, I won't even have to give anything up. All I have to do is take the first step."
His voice was so soothing, but his words were like shots of ice through Y/n's veins. It was a startling contrast. "Enoch..." He frowned, pursing his lips. He couldn't look at the other boy. "What would you do if I asked you that? You can't expect me to-"
"I do. I like men."
Y/n's jaw dropped. He snapped it closed after a beat, eyes trained on Enoch. The other boy seemed... excited. Genuinely. "And you're telling me this... for a reason. I assume?" Enoch just nodded. He wasn't just excited; he was nervous too. To be fair, so was Y/n. "Because you like me?" He asked, even more softly.
Enoch hesitated. Then nodded. "I... have. For a long time."
Y/n sighed, head falling back against the wall. A part of him wanted to argue, wanted to fight it. Wanted to stick his head in the sand.
But a much larger part of him knew that this had been coming for a long time.
“I thought when I told you I was into men it would be scarier.” Enoch laughed at Y/n’s confession, and it was only a split second before Y/n joined him. It was completely bizarre and borderline ridiculous. They’d been denying their feelings so long it had become habit. First out of hesitation. You never know exactly how someone would react to something. And then it was friendship. They were so close, and they’d gotten into a pattern of thought. They were only friends - nothing else was possible. But as everything around them changed, pattern had no room in their life anymore. So habit had taken over.
And now…
Y/n rested his head on Enoch’s shoulder, hesitantly taking his hand. Enoch sighed, squeezing back. Reassuring him.
“I like you specifically,” Y/n piped up.
Enoch’s smile was small as he tried to fight it, but the blush across his cheeks gave him away. “I like you too.” Y/n chuckled again, and Enoch echoed him. Like their energy was bouncing off of each other, growing. Becoming simply by the existence of the other.
“I don’t want our first kiss to be in here,” Enoch sighed. The closet was too much a metaphor, but even more-
“I don’t like that everyone’s forced so much onto us,” Y/n agreed. “Thank god they did, but-“
Enoch huffed with amusement. “But I don’t want them to have everything. Some things are just for you and me?” Y/n nodded and Enoch smiled, leaning close and pressing his lips to Y/n’s forehead. Y/n sighed, content. They stayed like that until the close door was opened, several pairs of curious eyes staring in at them.
“Are you together now?”
Y/n and Enoch exchanged looks and then scrambled to their feet, both shouldering the door open and slipping out. Everyone was laughing - even the ones who tried desperately to lock the pair back in the room.
And so the boys were out of the closet.
They took each others’ hand again when they settled onto the couch together, an everyone had to agree: that could be enough.
#male reader#Enoch O’Connor#miss peregrines home for peculiar children#enoch oconnor x male reader#enoch oconnor imagine#enoch oconnor x reader#miss peregrines home for pecuiar children imagine#miss peregrines home for peculiar children x reader#miss peregrines home for peculiar children x male reader#Finlay MacMillan#Finlay MacMillan x reader#Finlay MacMillan x male reader#Finlay MacMillan imagine
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So you finished Our Flag Means Death…
What show do you want to obsess over now?
Also read on Medium / / Read on Patreon.
So, Our Flag Means Death, unexpected workplace romcom chock-a-block with anachronistic 18th century fun, piracy on the high seas, gay and trans and otherwise genderweird and queer characters, not to mention neurodivergent and disabled ones, is over for at least another year. You’re aching for something of a similar flavour to fill the gap — especially if, like many of us, the finale has left you disappointed and eager to watch a show with a bit more care for its queer audiences.
Want recs?
After finishing Our Flag Means Death, I’m in the mood for…
Ed cradling Stede’s face in S1 of Our Flag Means Death. Via IMDb.
… more (relatively) light-hearted queer comedy!
The most obvious example I can start with is, of course, What We Do In The Shadows. While its fifth season was weak, its sixth season was in my opinion its best ever — a spin-off of the Taika Waititi-directed (and starring) mockumentary film of the same name, WWDITS is a fun-filled, ridiculous and deeply silly show starring a variety of incompetent and bumbling and blood-thirsty vampires and their various friends, enemies, and companions. It’s constantly and continuously queer, with the majority of the cast of characters being openly bisexual, and one of them being gay and having an emotive coming-out arc with his family.
Nandor (Kayvan Novak) and Guillermo de la Cruz (Harvey Guillén) in WWDITS. Via IDMb.
WWDITS follows the adventures of Guillermo de la Cruz, fat and gay and badass and so fucking pretty, the familiar to a vampire named Nandor the Relentless, a big himbo ex-warrior plagued by insecurity and ready to enter in power struggles with anybody from a fellow warrior to a household appliance, and the rest of Nandor’s household — Laszlo Cravensworth (once an English aristocrat, still a dandy, charming, slutty, and well-spoken — and often tinkering with experiments or DIY), Nadja of Antipaxos (once an impoverished member of a Mediterranean village, dramatic, intelligent, sharp-witted, and wry — and often getting involved in various misadventures), and Colin Robinson (an “emotional vampire” who feeds by boring those about him, dull, mundane, and painfully cringe at all times in the best of ways). As a mockumentary, its tone is silly and light-hearted, but it’s not without its emotional stakes, and there’s so many references to other pop culture vampires.
The BBC’s sitcom, Ghosts, is a great sitcom to go for if you’re in the mood for more of a neurodivergent found family vibe, with sumptuous costumes and a complex and intriguing cast who have a lot of wonderful moments with each other. The show follows Alison and Mike, who inherit a manor house and find when they start to refurbish it that it’s full to the brim with silly, ridiculous, and unrelentingly friendly — not to mention antagonistic — ghosts. Ghosts, like Our Flag Means Death claimed to be prior to its S2 finale, is a tremendously loving and kind show — it spends a lot of its time building up flawed characters and encouraging them to change and grow, giving you time as a viewer to love them.
See any familiar faces? Many of the Ghosts cast also appear in Horrible Histories. Via IMDb.
The show is not as continuously or constantly queer as WWDITS, but it does have elements of queerness dotted around the main cast, particularly in the character of the Captain, the ghost of a WW1 soldier who was never deployed abroad, but spent his time in service yearning for the intimate company of a fellow soldier.
Brendan Scannell and Zoe Levin in Bonding. Via IMDb.
Want something a little weirder, a little kookier? Crave a bit more of the BDSM flavouring around Our Flag, more whips, more leather, more latex, more kink? You might like to try Bonding — this show features a woman who begins moonlighting as a dominatrix and then employs her gay BFF as her assistant. It suffers from the tendency shows like this have to sideline Pete a bit as the gay BFF, with some of his characterisation being squandered to prop up the less interesting protagonist, but it’s really funny and honestly super heartfelt.
And if you want really weird, really kooky, and unabashedly and delightfully and wonderfully queer, there is always The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo, which is a gorgeously funny and loving gay comedy that you can watch online!
Apart from those above, you might like to try Special (a sitcom exploring the romantic and sexual misadventures of a deeply selfish and flawed character a la Stede Bonnet, this one a young gay man with cerebral palsy), Schitt’s Creek (a sitcom about a posh family falling on hard times and featuring several queer characters, particularly the bisexual David Rose, played by Dan Levy), and Grace and Frankie (a show about two ageing women who are best friends, and whose husbands leave them to start a romance with one another).
… more of the stunning cast!
You’ve watched Our Flag Means Death and you’re craving more of the spectacular and incredibly skilled cast.
If you want more of Nathan Foad (Lucius Spriggs) particularly, you’re in luck — last year, Foad wrote and served as executive producer on a show loosely inspired by his early life as a weird boy growing up gay in Nottinghamshire, Newark, Newark. It’s very silly, funny, full to the brim with love, and also deeply silly and willing to get in touch with the cringe side of life. It’s only three episodes, but starring the unparalleled Morgana Robinson as the harried mother of Leslie, the closeted-but-not sixteen-year-old who is trying desperately to lead the tragic gay life he’s seen on TV, it really makes the most of that limited runtime, and it’s so fucking good. Nathan Foad even has a cameo in it as a freaky and overfamiliar employee at the bowling alley.
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He has a cameo in another great show, too — Bloods is an incredible sitcom about two NHS paramedics working in an ambulance together. It’s rapid-paced, it’s messy, it’s horrible and hilarious, and it stars Jane Horrocks as Wendy across from Our Flag’s Samson Kayo (Oluwande) as Maleek. The two are chalk and cheese in the front seat of their ambulance together, and Kayo is so incredible in the lead role balancing Maleek’s own desire to appear as cool and tough whilst also being vulnerable and having his own insecurities, especially because Wendy challenges him on so many points. Wendy is great as well, the two an exercise in contrasts, but Kayo and Horrocks are spectacular among an equally spectacular cast — you get to see so many different dynamics at the depot and in other settings, amongst other NHS staff, and the show is non-stop with the punches and the punchlines. If you really enjoy how well-balanced and how fitting the soundtrack to Our Flag is, you’ll love the music and its pacing in Bloods. Foad’s cameo in this is as Wendy’s neurotic and kind of a fuck-up son, and he’s so messy.
If you want more of Joel Fry (Frenchie), he stars in the first few seasons of Plebs — this is a goofy comedy set in Ancient Rome, and it’s not dissimilar to The Inbetweeners in its tone and content. Some of the jokes are funny, sometimes. I don’t recommend it because it really gives Joel Fry his full acting chops — but he’s hot and he’s funny and he’s cute in this, and even if you’re not super passionate about the show, if you like Frenchie, you probably will like Stylax too.
Joel Fry and Con O’Neill (Izzy Hands) also both play characters in season 2 of Ordinary Lies, which is an anthology series, so you don’t need to watch season 1. The premise of the show each season is that the narrative jumps between characters in a workplace and explores the ramifications of the small lies they tell themselves and each other. While O’Neill’s role is a more typical set of lies that concerns adultery (or not), Fry’s involves vigilanteism and attempts at superheroism, and the plot is quite fun. This show is obviously a drama, and is tragically heterosexual on many points, but for all that, has its good and intriguing elements too.
But what about Con O’Neill doing what he’s good at — playing wet, pathetic men? Very wet, very pathetic men? In Happy Valley, O’Neill plays a gloriously wet and pathetic man named Neil Ackroyd, who enters into a relationship with the protagonist, Catherine Cawood’s, sister, Clare. Clare is an alcoholic in recovery, as is Neil, and they have a really sweet and mutually supportive relationship — Neil’s particularly gorgeous in the most recent series, where he really dotes on Catherine’s grandson, Ryan, and he and Clare play a great duo. Neil is introduced in the beginning of season 2.
The premise of the series is that Catherine Cawood, a police officer in Yorkshire, is attempting to solve crimes while at the same time her grandson, Ryan, is curious about and desires to make contact with his father, whom he has never met. Ryan’s mother was raped by his father and died by suicide after Ryan’s birth, whereon Catherine raised him alongside her sister. Happy Valley is a cop show, and Catherine Cawood is really funny as a character. She’s a deeply conservative and cruel, reactionary woman who constantly engages in police brutality whilst trampling over people’s rights — she believes that people are born evil and bad, effectively, and while she often talks about the effects poverty have on people’s outlooks, lifestyles, and actions, she can’t quite make that connection with her beliefs. As a cop show, it’s really interesting because it’s very pro-cop and tries to be on Catherine’s side for much of her crueller actions, but at the same time is so starkly blunt about the awful shit she does that it doesn’t exactly make you put faith in cops no matter the intent. Clare Cawood, and then Neil, are naturally far more critical of Catherine’s perspective.
But if you really loved Izzy at his best in S2, if you love Izzy full of love whilst also being precise and cold and calculated in the defence of his family, if you love him beautiful and wonderful and unabashedly queer, you’ll undoubtedly adore Val, who appears in Uncle as the transfem and gorgeous dad of Gwen. Uncle isn’t a great TV show, it’s an example of one of those shows where they give a deeply dull cishet white dude who feels insecure a show where he sort of masturbates about how much he sucks and how he’s unlovable, but really, isn’t it on the people around him to love him anyway?
But Val is great. She’s so much fun, she’s funny and sharp and full of quips, she’s flirtatious, she’s hot, and she has some tremendous gender stuff going on as well as some gorgeous costuming throughout. If you like Uncle’s humour, watch all the episodes — if you don’t, just skip everything that doesn’t have Val in it. Val is where the good stuff is.
Or don’t watch it at all, and just watch this scene pack on YouTube:
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Taika Waititi appears far more in great movies than he does TV shows, although he’s also one of the producers on Reservation Dogs, which is excellent — it’s a native-led and starring comedy series, and it rocks. Most of the time when Waititi does TV, it’s in cameos.
Apart from the cameo he makes in the What We Do In The Shadows TV show, I mentioned in the sitcom section, Taika Waititi also appears in the Flight of the Conchords TV series, starring the band members of the band of the same name. Rhys Darby also appears in every episode as Jemaine and Bret’s fictional manager, Murray Hewitt, and Murray is such a fun, bizarre character — and with a wholly different facial hair situation than you might have imagined for him before.
Wholly different facial hair. Via IMDb.
… more sailors!
Pickings are slim for a good pirate show, or indeed, any good show with nautical flavours to it — scenes at sea are high budget and hard to shoot, and as was evident with much of Our Flag Means Death’s second season at the hands of HBO Max, many studios do not want to proffer the budget for such things.
Let’s start with the best of recommendations — a show that’s unapologetically queer, anti-imperialist, anti-establishment, and full to the absolute brim with pirates, historical and fictional. Interested in Mary Read, Anne Bonny, Calico Jack, Benjamin Hornigold, Israel Hands, or of course, the inimitable Edward ‘Blackbeard’ Teach, real historical pirates who are portrayed and played with in the course of Our Flag Means Death, and want to see a very different take on them? Enjoy lesbians constantly scheming to kill each other, torture each other, and generally make one another miserable (sexual)? Read Treasure Island, perhaps, and ever wonder what came before?
Not-Yet-Captain Flint (Toby Stephens) and Thomas Hamilton (Rupert Penry-Jones) in Black Sails. Via IMDb.
Black Sails has all of the above and more — while it is very queer and anti-establishment, I will say that it’s far more similar in tone to Game of Thrones than to OFMD. The comedy bits are hilarious in part because the stakes are so high, but Black Sails is firmly a drama, and a gritty, violent one at that. It lacks the escapism present in OFMD — there is constant and continuous sexual violence, brutal gore and brutality, racism, classism, deep misogyny and homophobia from the society around the characters. The characters on offer are varied and complex, flawed, and interesting, but your mileage may vary with how much you vibe with them.
Making use of some of Starz’ old set pieces for Black Sails, including some of their ships, the new One Piece live-action reboot — an adaptation of the anime of the same name (itself an adaptation of the manga) — is a fast-paced, fantastical, and colourful new release. If what you loved about Our Flag was its playful relationship with real-life piracy and chronistic details, its flexibility with “reality” and its eagerness to play around with tropes and expectations, with its creation of found family through a ragtag and varied mix of individuals. What it isn’t, unfortunately, is textually or explicitly queer, let alone as unabashedly queer as Our Flag and Black Sails are respectively.
HMS Terror and HMS Erebus sailing through the surface ice in The Terror. Via IMDb.
If you’d rather have queer sailors at any cost than having ones that aren’t explicitly queer, there is, of course, season 1 of The Terror. Based off of Dan Simmons’ magical horror reimagining of the real events of the lost ships in the Arctic, the HMS Terror and HMS Erebus, the first season of this anthology horror series is itself a deeply anti-imperial story following the events of two British ships that become stranded on the ice whilst attempting to discover the North-West Passage, and in so doing poison themselves and the land and people around them. Stuck in place in a cold and unfamiliar environment that does not have sufficient resources to sustain them — and in any case, an environment and resources that as invaders of, they do not know how to live in relationship with — they are hunted by an Inuit spirit, a representation of and manifestation of the imbalance they’ve caused by their mere presence.
The Terror has a few more explicitly gay dynamics in the book than in the TV show, but the show does feature an unstable, cannibalistic bastard of a man whose favourite hobbies are identity theft, violence, and emotional manipulation — and he’s gay. Representation win!
As you might imagine from that description, The Terror is not a cheerful, happy show — it’s deeply violence and very at home with hopelessness, but has some fascinating exploration of British imperialism, whiteness, class dynamics, queer men on ships, and chilling horror.
And it’s not a TV show, but I would be remiss if I did not mention and recommend Taika Waititi’s favourite romance movie — Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003, dir. Peter Weir). Based off of Patrick O’Brien’s long-running Aubreyad, starting with Master and Commander, this film is about Captain Jack Aubrey and his duet partner and best friend (wink wink) Stephen Maturin, the ship’s surgeon. It’s a gorgeous film and while of course not explicit, it’s pretty fucking gay — although unlike the other pieces I’ve mentioned, as Napoleonic-era fanfiction about British navymen, it’s not nearly as critical of British imperialism as one might like, with the majority of the criticism coming from Maturin, and might leave a poor taste in the mouth compared to pieces more critical of the British imperial evil.
… more queer period dramas and historical shows!
Anne Lister (Suranne Jones) contemplating her hat and gloves. Via IMDb.
Let’s start with a historical drama — Gentleman Jack, starring Suranne Jones, is set in the early 1800s and is an biographical look at the life of the cryptic diarist and all around delightfully butch lesbian dirtbag, Anne Lister. Apart from the obviously intriguing concept, the show has some sumptuous costuming and set designs, and there are so many different characters and dynamics throughout. I’m always a sucker for an epistolary piece, and as it’s based off of Lister’s diaries, this show has a lot of epistle work throughout.
If you’re a sucker for lesbians in period dramas, though, you might just like Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries — the eponymous Phryne Fisher is not the lesbian in question. She’s a flapper and private detective in 1920s Melbourne, complete with a little golden gun, and is very hetero — but her best friend, a doctor named Mac (short Elizabeth MacMillan), is gay, and she’s so much fun. Where Phryne is really high-energy and excitable, constantly jumping from idea to idea, Mac is a lot chiller and more smooth, and she’s so suave and so much fun. Miss Fisher is a fun show — alas, a cop show, but it’s a lot more light-hearted, and it does a lot of playful stuff with the period and particularly with costuming details and things like cars, weapons, and various inventions.
Getting dressed and leaving the boytoy still abed. Via IMDb.
If you’re open to a miniseries that’s a lot dirtier and nastier than much of the above, have I got the recommendation for you: A Very English Scandal. Starring a relatively innocent and easily manipulated Ben Whishaw across from the deliciously greasy and depraved Hugh Grant, this is a dramatisation of the Thorpe Affair — a political scandal in the UK in the late 1970s — and it’s so fun and so sexy. If whilst watching Our Flag you’ve been giggling and kicking your feet whenever the more fucked up shit goes on in intimate ways, you will almost certainly delight in this one.
… more of… something. Surprise me!
You might have heard of NBC’s Hannibal, which is a gay take on the dynamic between Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham, but the same creator, Bryan Fuller, also did Pushing Daisies, which is a gorgeous 2-season show that was cancelled long before it ought have been. It explores intimacy at a necessary distance, and has some wonderful queer themes throughout, and stars Lee Pace.
The new TV adaptation of Anne Rice’s books, Interview with the Vampire, is glorious — it’s openly and unabashedly gay, it’s so full to the brim with depth, and unlike other shows I can mention, it really doesn’t try to shy away from the cruelty of abuses in intimate relationships, or try to shift the blame for abuse entirely onto the back of the victim in a last-minute attempt to foster more sympathy for the abuser. Interview goes so deep into the loneliness and isolation of being separated from society’s mores and expectations, of how that isolation leaves you at much more risk of leverage and abuse by intimate partners, of the brittleness of found family under heavy pressure, and alongside all of that, like…
It’s a vampire show! It’s sexy! It’s full of blood and horror and misery and grief — the grief of being alive when you should be dead, and at the same time, being halfway dead when you seem to be alive. It’s funny and it’s dark and it’s just full to the brim with poetry, has some honestly gorgeous dialogue, and on top of all that, it’s well-paced, beautifully costumed, and tremendously shot and scored. Watch!
Looking for queer movies, as well as TV shows? I have a big rec list of gay movies here:
#musings#our flag means death#i'm gonna write about how shit the ofmd finale was and what a pisstake it was in the week#but in the meantime here#have this#watch a better fuckin show#Youtube
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