#which is why they aren't first on my mental list
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*repeating to self under breath* this is an opportunity to practice patience this is an opportunity to practice patience this is an
#once i have used my opportunity to practice patience. and been patient and charitable and direct and given the guy a chance to improve#then i can think about how to formally escalate. not until chance to improve has been given.#and i should not fixate on imaginary scenario in which i act on frustration without being considerate. i don't actually want to be mean#i just Do Not Understand - why does this guy think his work is good enough. if i were in his position i would - i would simply not be.#how has he managed to take something that could work with modifications#throw it away#then take like 6 months to make something that produced worse results. required more attention. and breaks all the time.#while ALSO. ALSO. disregarding safety AND comfort of an intern.#safety & comfort have already been escalated formally#which is why they aren't first on my mental list#im biting im chomping#deep breath#deep breath 2#you're on thin ice bucko. stop hitting it with a hammer#venting in the tags so i can let go of the frustration and bring a better version of myself to work tomorrow
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Language resources
(Duolingo alternatives)
For those who no longer use or trust Duolingo, I've put together a list of resources - apps, learning methods, programmes, etc - with a list of whether or not they are free, and my personal experience with their success at teaching a language. I have also included new ones that I haven't tried yet but which I have researched; for these, I have included a rating of how much hope I have for them panning out in the future.
[I grew up bilingual & went to a multicultural school that had a student body consisting of children from refugee families who spoke little to no English. The school prioritised teaching the entire student body the minority languages, and finding a bridge language we could all learn together to fill in any gaps in communication. Due to this, I spent the last 4 years of primary school learning new languages with the rest of the student body.
We would have a school-wide lesson for 1 hour once a week - usually with a child or staff member fluent in that language leading the lesson at the front of the gym with a microphone so we could hear the correct pronunciation in time with reading the native spelling & English phonetics on the projector screen at the front of the hall. We were expected to use this language in the corridors when we spoke with teachers or staff members and when we passed by other students regardless of what their or our native languages were. As far as fluency went, we were expected to be able to recognise and say greetings and goodbyes, enquire to each others well-being, know how to ask for assistance, how to ask for medical help for various things, how to ask where the bathroom was, to give and receive directions around the entire school, as well as colours, names of things found around the school, make small talk about our activities of the day and our family, and why we were out of class - all with relative ease & mutual understanding.
We changed language after every break, so it was roughly 8 hours of lessons in each language, before we would start again with a new one.
Alongside this, the older students in the school (final 3 years, aged 9 - 11/12) would learn French 3+ hours a week for those 3 years so their writing, reading and speaking standards were acceptable for the beginning of high school. In 1 of these years, we also studied both of our native languages for the first time, for 6 weeks each.
I left traditional schooling at 11, and while I was home-schooled I taught myself Italian, Russian, and Latin from scratch, along with relearning my preferred native language, and 2 forms of sign - I used Makaton as a young child and in school as I have a form of mutism, but as a teen I realised I associated this language with the severe trauma I experienced at school, and so suffered from flashbacks and dissociative episodes when I used it. This, along with medical concerns, led to me learning BSL, and then SSE. Today, I use a combination of English, SSE and my native language in everyday settings. I have a mental block for learning French due to it being heavily associated with my trauma.
I am saying all this not for sympathy, but so that you can see firstly how much I enjoy and value learning languages, and in order to show my experience levels with learning languages. I've used, tried, and tested all of the learning methods I will be talking about in this post. I have either used or done a lot of research into the apps and programmes discussed in this post.
And yes, I have prioritised ones that teach endangered languages, indigenous languages and languages that aren't often included in language media such as Hebrew, various forms of Arabic, Navajo, Gaelic, and others. I have also included ones that teach and / or document sign languages and sign communication systems.]
Please note that the following lists are arranged in no particular order. They are not ranked best to worst or by any other X to Y ratio. They are simply ranked according to how I remembered, tested, or found each of them.
Apps
1: Fluyo.
Rating for hope / faith: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: n/a
Cost: unknown
Status: not yet publicly available
Please note that while Fluyo is not yet available, its Kickstarter page is flourishing, its app is in development, and the developer is a man of colour who has continued to devote himself to this app and its development despite rising health concerns, developing a life-changing disabling condition, and numerous set-backs. His YouTube channel is very educational, and he has also written a book on language-learning. If you would like to know more, you can learn about him here. Fluyo is set up like a computer game with multiple cute characters who are interactive rather than stationary, and I genuinely have high hopes for it once it is released.
2: Babble
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free trial for the first lesson, but a paid subscription is required for any further lessons
Status: available to download
3: Language Drops
Personal experience: ☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆
Cost: free for some lessons, but a paid account is required for access to all lessons
Status: available to download
4: Fluent forever
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: free access to basic lessons to build your confidence with the language, but a paid subscription is required for unlimited access
Status: available to download
5: Lingopie
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: free trial for 7 days, but a paid subscription is required after that for continued use of the app
Status: available to download
6: Fluenday
Hope for: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
7: Language flower
Hope for: ☆
Languages available: ☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆
Cost: free, as far as I can tell
Status: available to download
8: Sign BSL / Daniel Mitchell
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
Please note that Daniel Mitchel offers a BSL version of this, along with an ASL version.
9: Bright BSL / sign lab
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness:☆☆☆☆
Cost: free for some lessons + premium for all other lessons
Status: available to download
Please note that Sign Lab offers this app for the following sign languages: BSL (Bright BSL), ASL (ASL Bloom), LSF (Pause LSF / Langue des Signes, yoDGS, Libras (LibrasLab), Italian Sign Language (MeLISegno), and Toleio: Norsk Tegnspråk.
10: BSL zone
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
11: Reverso context
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
This is less for learning a language, more for quick reference / fact-checking a translation.
12: Pimsleur
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free 7 day trial, but a paid subscription is required for continued use
Status: available to download
13: Memrise
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free for introductory levels, with a premium option to unlock majority of lessons
Status: available to download
14: Busluu
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: Free, with a premium option to download lessons, more repetition, and extra lessons
Status: available to download
15: Hello Talk
Hope for: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
16: Rosetta Stone
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: monthly subscription is required
Status: available to download
17: Lingo Deer
Personal experience: ☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, with a premium option for all lessons beyond Basics 1
Status: available to download
18: Beelinguapp
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: free trial, but a subscription is required for total access
Status: available to download
19: Lingvist
Personal experience: ☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆ (though it does have an option to suggest other languages for them to add, and which language you would like to learn from, and they'll email you when / if that language becomes available)
Effectiveness: unknown
Cost: free
Status: available to download
[Please note this one is not photosensitive friendly or seizure friendly. I had to close the app as soon as I opened it due to the design on their opening page, and even when I reopened it and clicked straight through, their colour scheme was still upsetting to my senses.]
20: Lingvano
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free for a few lessons, but for access to all lessons, a paid subscription is required
Status: available to download
21: Duocards
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, but a more advanced version is available for premium accounts
Status: available to download
22: Chatterbug
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free with limited access, but a paid version is available
Status: available to download
23: Mango languages learning
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free trial, with a premium account required for further access
Status: available to download
24: EdX
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost:
Status: available to download
Please note that EdX is an app which houses courses on multiple subjects, not specifically a language-learning app.
25: Mondly Languages
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆
Cost: free, though it does repeatedly offer you a subscription account for an experience catered to you and your interests
Status: available to download
Please note this one may be triggering to those who are photosensitive or whose senses are upset by rapid moving gifs. There is a crown in the top right-hand corner which vibrates very quickly.
26: Speakly
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free trial, with a subscription account required for further use
Status: available to download
27: Pocket sign
Hope for: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, as far as I can tell
Status: available to download
28: Lingo legend language learning
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, though I think there may be a premium option either available but unmentioned, or in the works
Status: available to download
Please note that this app offers you the chance to vote for which languages should be added to its interface, so they can prioritise which ones to fund.
29: INC sign language app
Hope for: ☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
For those with religious trauma, please note that INC stands for Iglesia Ni Cristo, and the INC Sign Language App "is a project of the Christian Society for the Deaf under the Christian Family Organizations Office of the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ)". While it does not appear to prioritise religious content, the content does feature people dressed in suits as if for attending a church sermon.
30: My signing time
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: 14 day free trial, and a subscription is required after this point
Status: available to download
Please note that this one is aimed at babies / toddlers & families.
32: Falou
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, with a premium option if you want to learn more than 1 language & unlock additional courses in your chosen language
Status: available to download
33: Earworms
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: free for the demo, then after that, the lessons are broken into two "volumes" to buy individually, or 1 bonus-pack which contains both to buy once at a slightly reduced cost.
Status: available to download
Please note that Earworms used to be available as CD lessons, which is when I first used them. The CDs were in Volumes and were more expensive than all costs on this app. I used them 10 years ago and still remember what I learned despite not getting to use the language very often, so I can guarantee their method is very effective.
34: Qlango
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, with a premium option for the final 3 levels
Status: available to download
Please note that this one is laid out more like a semi-immersive lesson plan rather than a game. However, it is currently my favourite one.
Other resources
1: Signing hands (YouTube)
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to watch
2: Military style
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: n/a
Status: available to begin for free, though it will be difficult for you to find an environment that allows you to experience this authentically. If you would like to learn more about what the military style is, I will speak about it further below.
3: Textbooks / Reading materials
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, or otherwise up to you (what you are willing / able to spend on it)
Status: available to start whenever you feel like it
You can find numerous language-learning resources listed at the end of this post. I also recommend buying an up-to-date dictionary and thesaurus in your chosen language, and studying it. Study the grammar noted in the front, and then actually read the dictionary. It will seem strange, but it will benefit you in the long-run. Make notes as you go, highlight and colour some things in as you see fit.
Learning methods
1: Immersion
Over and over again, we are told that immersion is the best, most effective way to learn a language. This is because this is how we often think children learn languages - and we're partly right about that.
Immersion is the process of immersing yourself in the chosen language, with one single choice: learn the language, or suffer.
If our brains have to choose between struggling to pronounce a few words while gesturing to something we want and clinging onto sounds we hear like trying to hold onto a wet otter, or not getting what we want, we're going to choose to sound & look like an idiot, pointing and saying basic sounds, even if trying to remember the reply is like trying to remember Pi.
With enough time, though, we pick the language up remarkably well when we have no choice but to pick it up. This is the method which has us mimicking accents and gestures and expressions in order to best gain what we want: to express ourselves, our needs and our desires.
However, immersion is often critiqued because unless you have the means to fly to the country that speaks your desired language and live there with 0 influence from your native language for 6+ months... Well, you're not fully immersed, are you? Language apps try to give you an immersive experience, but you can always put your phone down. Depending on where you were educated, you may have had an immersive language class, where you had to learn the language or not be able to join in and so failed by default.
Good ways to mimic immersion are: finding radio channels in your chosen language and watching TV shows in your chosen language without subtitles, and listening to music in your chosen language.
2: Flashcards
Flashcards often tend to be a popular way to test your memory and retention of a particular subject. However, using them to begin learning a language can lead to a loss of motivation.
If you are creating the flashcards yourself, I would recommend creating them in 2 sets: 1 which is the traditional flashcard (your first language OR a picture on one side, and the translation on the other side), and 1 which has twice as many, with only 1 side being used. This second set should be designed like playing cards - the word or picture on one side, and a plain back.
This second set can be used when you're wanting to boost your motivation or confidence - arrange the cards face down, and begin playing the children's game of Pairs. Another option would be Snap.
When you return to using the traditional flashcards, you'll have a better foundation to build on if you've taught yourself to see these as fun, and taught your brain to associate these cards with quickfire responses - such as are brought to the surface during childrens' cards games.
3: Stickers
This is a method which seems obvious once it's pointed out, but seems confusing if you've never done it before.
Simply put, using stickers is when you create or buy stickers with the translation of everyday objects, words and phrases in your chosen language, and put them up around your house. "Door" goes on the door. "Cupboard" goes on the outside of a cupboard, "bread" goes on the inside. "Fridge" goes on the fridge door. "Milk" goes behind the milk so you see it every time you pick the milk up. "Lightswitch" goes above / under the lightswitch. Etc etc etc.
This is a memory retention technique used for multiple scenarios. Nurseries and schools may sometimes have the Makaton sign for something shown in a large diagram stuck to the walls / surfaces. Carehomes may have the names & purposes of objects stuck to the surfaces / objects in the dominant language, for the residents with memory issues or communication barriers.
While this is a good technique for quickfire memory boosts, it can be a slow way to learn a language from scraps, and is better suited for when you are semi-familiar with the written form of the language you are learning. It is also a good way to get everyone involved, as everyone in the home will be interacting with the stickers.
4: Forced conversation
This one is controversial, but can be very effective if it is approached with an open mind, clear communication and previously-agreed upon rules and lines.
The method of forced conversation is exactly what it sounds like: it is when you are engaged in a conversation in your target language, in which the person whom you are conversing with refuses to speak your original language. However, no matter how poor your language skills are, or how uncomfortable you get, they do not stop the conversation, and you do not let to leave the situation until they are satisfied you have communicated well enough, and have understood them. This will usually be "proven" by them giving you instructions, asking a specific question, or requesting you do something for them - if you follow the action through, you have understood them, if you try to give a vague answer and do not do the task, you have not understood them, and the interaction is forced to continue. Again.
This method is controversial because it is not immediately inclusive or welcoming for those who are shy, have anxiety, any form of Mutism, or who have a neurodiversiry or learning disability which impacts their communication. In formal situations, it is often these people who fall behind or get put off from learning a language if forced conversations are the only method they have the option of.
However, if there are adaptions made and accommodation previously discussed and provided, this can still be a viable method which is inclusive to all.
If the person speaking your target language is previously informed of your communication issues or complications, and are instructed in how to accommodate you (ie: Do they need to point at something, or use picture cards as prompts? Do you prefer using picture cards? Do you get distracted if they use hand gestures? Do you need fidget toys provided? Will it be easier for you if you are not forced to maintain eye contact? Will it be better for you if one or both of you are moving around rather than sitting down directly across from each other? Do the lights need to be altered in your environment to make the sensory experience less overwhelming? Do you use noise cancelling headphones? Do you focus better if there is music on in the background? Are there certain tones of voice or volume levels that need to be avoided? Does constantly changing body language stress you out? Do you have a stutter or speech impediment that may impact your pronunciation? Etc.)
Accomodaring these issues, and coming up with a signal to take a break (ie, if you have issues telling the difference between "I am angry at you personally" and "I am tired today" in vocal tones and facial expressions, will you get upset if you think the person is angry at you for not knowing their language? If so, do you need a signal to take a break so you can clearly communicate your stress, and they can give you an answer in your original language and clarify anything which is upsetting or confusing you, before continuing the conversation in your target language?) or to speak in simpler terms? Is their one subject you can talk about particularly well (a hyperfixation) which they can use in the conversation to help you engage?
All of these accommodations may seem intimidating, but if all those involved are aware of these accommodations going into the conversation, it can make the interaction much more positive and productive.
Forced conversation uses the same logic as immersion: if your brain has to choose between looking / sounding like an idiot who stumbles over words, or a very uncomfortable situation which lasts longer each time you make a mistake, your brain will choose to look like an idiot in order to achieve what it wants.
5: Repetition
Repetition is a very common method of learning a language, though it is often criticised for being ineffective.
It is when a phrase or word is said by one party, and repeated by another. If the second party does not pronounce it correctly, the first party repeats it again. This continues until the second party gets it correct. Then the pattern is repeated with another phrase / word. Once a certain number of words have been said correctly by the second party, the first party will return to the start and repeat the process again, with the second party having to say the phrases / words correctly multiple times before being able to move onto the next. The entire process continues in this loop until the second party is saying things correctly with ease.
This method is part of what makes up both immersion, flashcards and military style methods for language learning. It can also be used with textbook learning.
However, it is often critiqued because once the second party is away from the first party and left to their own devices, their confidence in their previous pronunciation will falter, and when they return to the lesson or need to use the language again, they'll be at a lower level of achievement than they were when they left. It is also very tedious, and can become boring.
6: Music
When I spoke about immersion, I briefly mentioned music. I also said that we assume children learn language via immersion. However, as adults we often overlook something else which plays a crucial role in teaching children language: music.
Children learn language, rhythm, speech patterns, and turn-of-phrase via songs, rhymes, riddles, fables, tongue-twisters, and music.
This is why it can be priceless to learn songs in your chosen language. Lullabies. Nursery rhymes. Children's songs. Pop songs that are ridiculed as being too simple or written without talent. Theme tunes from children's shows. Traditional rhymes and tongue-twisters. Most of these can be found via a long time on YouTube.
Music works in a unique way, worming its way into our minds. Our brains are hardwired to recognise and remember patterns - and music is made up of patterns. This is why we get songs stuck in our heads for no reason. Being able to use this to your advantage to learn or remember a new language can be an amazing experience.
7: Subtitles and language swap
This is a method which can be useful when you are learning more than one language, but are more familiar with one than the other.
It is where you watch / listen to a certain media in 1 language, while reading the subtitles / lyrics in another language. This way, the language you are more familiar with / fluent in will fill the gaps of understanding the less familiar one.
You can then challenge yourself by removing one language (muting the media & only reading the subtitles, or removing the subtitles and only listening to the provided audio) and seeing how well you follow along / understand.
This can also be used with your target language and your original language.
8: Writing it down
This is another form of repetitive learning which can be useful when studying / retaining for an exam, but can also be useful when you are first learning the written-to-verbal patterns of a language.
One method is longterm recall: this is where you write down short notes, words & phrases in your target language 1+ hour after engaging with your learning resources. This tests how much you retained. It is a physical show of how much you have actually learned.
Another method is short term recall & build-up: this is where you choose a single word / phrase, and write it as lines (Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are-) until your page is full. Then go back to the start and write over the top of your own writing, staying as close to your original marks as possible. Repeating this pattern multiple times until your page rips or the words become close to unreadable tricks your brain into focusing morenon your handwriting than on the language - as such, you will start to see the phrase / word as a pattern to follow, and it is then left to your subconscious mind to retain it while your conscious mind prioritises hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills.
9: Textbook
If you're more academically inclined, you may prefer a textbook method of study. This is the style used in most night classes and / or some traditional education classes.
Textbook methods have everything arranged by date and time, and learning goals are broken down & laid out according to a set calender: by x, you will have learned this amount, by y, you will have learned this amount, so on so forty until the final set date when you will be "fluent" or a certain level of reasonably fluent.
Most of the time with this method, you will be following guidelines, activities and lesson plans previously arranged in a chosen textbook, and that textbook will be your sole or primary resource.
10: Bilingual books (page by page)
Using page-by-page bilingual books can be confusing and is often overlooked in regards to adult education - however, it can be somewhat interesting to try.
On one page, the text will be written in your original language - on the opposite page, the same text will be repeated in your target language. Seeing the two side-by-side allows you to read your target language and instantly refer back to your original language if you get stuck on a word or phrase.
There is another form of bilingual books often given to children: line-by-line. These feature the image / picture, with the original text written clearly and simply, usually no more than 1 or 2 sentences per page. Directly underneath them will be the translated text written in a different font.
11: Same story / movie, different language
While this can be a fun method, it isn't always the most beneficial if you're looking for accuracy - however, it can be useful if you're wanting to test yourself.
It uses a similar logic to the subtitles & language swap method: you put on a movie you are familiar with, but you put it on in your target language with 0 subtitles. This allows you to engage with the language while using the familiar movie / story as a bridge.
12: Military Style
This is perhaps the most effective technique to use of you have a set amount of time to reach a specified level of understanding / fluency in a language. However, it is also one of the most difficult to fully replicate yourself.
Military style is a form of forced immersion combined with forced conversation and repetitive loops, but with reward and punishment techniques to make you prioritise learning the language over your own comfort zone / personal boundaries.
An example of this style would be party 1 having party 2 engage in forced conversation in front of an audience, then having them repeat a phrase they got wrong over and over until they get it right - all in front of the audience, with a rule set which forbids party 2 from sitting down or disengaging the interaction until they have finished the task. Nobody in the audience is allowed to help party 2. Party 1 continues to push party 2 outside of their comfort zone by having them continue the conversation, repeating any mistakes until they are corrected, and the conversation does not end until it is completed.
After that, party 2 has to do 100 push-ups while repeating the phrase they got wrong the most - and they have to pronounce it correctly while doing the push-ups. Any mistakes, and they go back to 1, regardless of if they were at 7 or 98.
This combined punishment of mild public humiliation and physically pushing their body beyond its limits makes the brain see learning the language as the solution to ending this treatment - as such, party 2 will be far less likely to repeat those mistakes again.
Alongside this, there is forced immersion, in the sense that nobody is allowed to speak their original language in any context or to anyone - they must use the target language or be ignored at best or ridiculed at worst.
Understandably, this method is difficult to replicate on your own or outside of the army.
However, there are some tokens which can be taken from it: notably forced repetition & physical exercise.
Set yourself a challenge using any of the previously mentioned learning methods or apps. Keep note of your mistakes.
At the end of the challenge (say 30 minutes of learning) count up all your mistakes. Now do a push-up / squat / pull-up / sit-up / etc for each mistake you made while repeating the phrase out loud. If you stall too long on making a connection in your mind or stumble over the sounds, start counting from 1 again. Repeat this until you're continuously getting the mistakes correct.
At the end, go back to your lesson and repeat it. Did you get less mistakes?
Thoughts & considerations when it comes to learning a language - for language savants and novices alike
"If you don't use it, you lose it" is probably one of the most hated phrases in terms of learning anything new - and especially in terms of learning a language. I think a better expression would be "If you don't make room for it, you won't keep it".
If you don't make time to learn a language, you won't learn it.
If you don't challenge yourself to reach a certain standard, you won't achieve any standard.
If you don't make the effort to retain the new information, you'll forget it.
When you learn a new language, you have to make room for it in your mind. You have to be willing to make mistakes and continue, knowing you're not doing it perfectly. You have to be willing to make it a priority, even if nobody else in your life sees it as one. You have to be willing to be frustrated and tired and bored. You have to be willing to get every single thing wrong and try again. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable with the new sounds you're making and you have to be willing to be patient while your brain digs out a new burrow of tunnels and connections which didn't previously exist.
If you genuinely want to learn a new language, you have to make room for it in your mind and life. Even when sometimes it's a tight fit.
Resources, as promised
Reading, writing & textbook materials:
Book 1
Book 2
Book 3
Book 4
Book 5
Structured notebook 1
Structured notebook 2
Structured notebook 3
Something worth checking out 1
Other things to invest in:
A dictionary in your target language
Picture cards
Flashcards
Stickers
Books in your target language
Children's books in your target language
Nursery rhyme books in your target language
Magazine subscriptions in your target language on a topic you find fascinating
Newspapers in your target language
Poetry in your target language
1 paid language learning app - a lot of the time, you get what you pay for. Not always, but usually.
Notebooks, stationary, etc
Headphones / earplugs
Media in your target language
#languages#langblr#language#linguistics#learning#learn languages#education#educate yourself#educate yourselves#educación#educação#free education#free resources#resources#duolingo#savant
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Witches don't owe you mundanity, actually.
Discussions about "mundane before magic" are important. I'm not against them.
When I was working full time, for half of the year I woke up before sunrise, worked all day indoors, and drove home after sunset. Being able to experience the weather felt like a truly magical event. Feeling the sun on my skin felt like a kiss from the gods.
And it's very handy for there to be awareness that, no, Apollo wasn't calling to me to be a devotee because the one day I was really stressed in December the clouds broke and it was sunny in the outdoor seating area.
Clouds just move sometimes.
But I am against people's need to come into conversations which are specifically about real magic that is happening, and say, "hold on! What if it's not happening, though? Rule out mundane first!"
It's actually fine for witches to have conversations that assume the reality of magic without people needing to barge in and say, "wait! What if this isn't magic at all?"
These conversations are not inherently unsafe or irrational.
The people participating in them are not automatically mentally ill or in need of medical treatment.
"Mundane before magical" is not a talisman that needs to be hung on conversations before they can be rational and useful.
It is not up to you to decide the route other practitioners want to take in order to explore their own experiences.
Sound bites about "ruling out mundane" aren't helpful if people do not understand how to practically apply that advice.
People are not obligated to trot out a list of their mundane discernment techniques before they make a magical post about magic in the magical community, and declining to do so does not mean that they failed to take those steps.
For heaven's sake. If you cannot comfortably exist around magical conversations without assuming that everyone else is engaging in irrational thinking, you are the problem.
Conversations about developing discernment of mundanity itself are very good and healthy.
But these talking points do not belong in every single conversation. Much less in personal posts where a person is just sharing cute photos of spells they did!
Look, practitioners do not owe you mundanity.
Practitioners do not owe you an explanation of the mundane shit they've done in conjunction with a spell.
Practitioners do not owe you an explanation of the mental health counseling they've received as part of their spiritual journey.
Practitioners are not obligated to tack on lip-service "mundane first :3" disclaimers onto posts that are clearly discussing the reality of magic within their own paradigm.
Magical practitioners do not owe you mundanity.
Please, make your own posts about mundanity discernment. Do research, ask practitioners, make well-rounded masterposts. Share and reblog these posts. Link them when appropriate. Be a part of the conversation that highlights these important issues and discernment skills. Contribute resources when people ask for help with their magical discernment.
But don't think that walking into any random post and asking OP why they assumed they had a magical experience is helpful in the slightest.
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we seriously need to change the language when it comes to abuse. narc abuse does not exist. abusers can have mental disorders, triggers, or traumas but that does not mean people with the same disorder is abusive.
when i first realized i was abused i fell down the narcissistic abuse tiktok trail, i started to believe the only reason my ex was abusive was because he had NPD (he is diagnosed) but then after more of my own research, and conversations with people who are diagnosed with NPD, I realized that abusers are just abusers, and that a lot of people with this disorder are the ones being abused, ostracized from society and not taken serious.
The thing about abusers is they all share the same brain cell, which is why you can list off 10 things most abusers do and a lot of victims will relate. I get countless anons of victims telling me things their abusers did, and I can usually 8/10 times relate on some kind of level, because abusers, again literally only share one brain cell.
The issue with this is abuse has been almost synonymous with the word "narcissist". The amount of shit you see with "Narc abuse", when it's really just abuse. People making countless posts about "how to spot a narcissist, how to fix the narc", etc and I can guarantee you that not all of these abusers have NPD.
BUT we live in such a world of "what about me", so when people try to break the stigma of NPD, victims assume you're telling them they weren't abused. They mention x y z thing that their abuser did, they bring up their mother who maybe was one and maybe their abuser does have NPD, but then these same people want to scream about mental health awareness. They want to say that "Your disorder is not your story", or that everyone with a disorder deserves love, respect, therapy and help but once anyone with a disorder that isn't socially acceptable, it's as if these people turn a blind eye to anyone with a disorder that isn’t classified as worthy. No one is telling you to respect or love the piece of shit who abused you, hurt you, bullied you. Fuck that, but we HAVE to stop associating abuse with npd. if we want to make a change to mental health and the stigma, we need to do with all disorders.
People make these videos, blogs, books, posts, etc on narcissists like they arent...human. The stigma has turned anyone with cluster B personality disorders into something hideous, when really, most of these people are born this way, or deep rooted trauma. BUT when people hear this, they think its giving an excuse. No one is telling you that you have to love ur abuser who might be a narcissist, or that mental disorders = pass. No. Your abuser can have NPD, OCD, depression, etc and be a completely terrible person, and no one is giving them a pass. (Maybe some might but thats a completely different story.) but to just assume NPD = abuser and abuser = npd, is incredibly ableist, but people aren't ready for that one.
The way people talk about people with NPD like they are monsters, and ghouls waiting in the dark corners of the street, waiting to snatch their next victim (who they always describe as being an empath because these people think having empathy = being a good person, when most people aren't even empaths.) They like to romanticize their abuse as well. Talking about how narcissists spot victims who are so "kind, loving, wonderful, special." They try to make it this thing that it's not. Abusers do not abuse you because you are special. they abuse you because they are abusers. Your abuser is a piece of shit who deserves to die because they are an abuser. not because they have a disorder.
period.
#actuallytraumatized#ventcore#actuallymentallyill#traumacore#ok to rb#trauma#actuallyabused#npd safe#npd positivity#narc abuse#narcissists#narcassistic personality disorder
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Hello, Mr. Badge, I seem to remember that you once posted about your processes and systems for staying organized in life with Excel spreadsheets etc. I’ve been struggling a lot with depression and executive dysfunction issues and don’t want it to impact my work.
Do you use the same processes at work? I get overwhelmed with the amount of documentation we have and the exceptions to the rules in our processes.
I'm so sorry you're struggling! It's really rough, and the more complicated the task feels, the more fraught it seems, the harder it is to even get a start. I feel that hard.
As for organizing work like my home life....well, it's sort of the same. I don't make a strong distinction between life and work simply because a lot of what needs organizing in my life IS my work, so it's tough to talk about them separately.
For example, I use Google Tasks to build a to-do list each day, but that to-do list starts with "stuff I'll do before work" then "shower" then all my work stuff, then "evening" and then all the stuff to do after work, ending with "7pm chores" (because I have a lot of stuff to do right around 7pm, which I need to post about elsewhere). Then the stuff I've pushed off to next day is below that, and that just bumps up the next morning. What's important isn't really how I keep the list, but that I keep it in a way that is constantly accessible, and I've trained myself to 1. put everything on it, even stuff like "grocery shop" and 2. check it whenever I feel lost. I don't find google calendars very helpful, however, so while work makes me use one for meetings, everything else goes on a calendar I made in Google Sheets that I'm just super used to by now.
It sounds like you're having a fairly specific issue, which may not even be related to your mental health (though assuredly the mental health issues aren't helping). If you have a lot of confusing documentation and exceptions in the stuff you do at work, that can be legit stressful even for someone who isn't dealing with other stuff, so I just want you to know that this may not only be a You Problem. My problem is usually the opposite, in that I'm often the first person doing something, or the only person who's done it in a while, so there's no documentation at all. But when I do have documentation I often will simply rewrite it.
After all, just because you have a handbook doesn't mean you have to use it. You can copy it over into another document and make yourself a step-by-step guide and/or a checklist. Like, I do our holiday cards every year, and my "HOLIDAY CARDS" document says "Here's the first thing you do, here's the second, do this before going past that, check this before asking for that". Literally at one point the document says "Stop. Before you go any further, do this step. Even if you don't understand why, do this step" because in the past I've disregarded that instruction ("Why on earth would I do it this way?") and lived to regret it.
Making the guide really, really sucks. Often it will take me four or five passes at a project before my guide is comprehensive (this is my fifth year doing the holiday card project and the document still has some steps missing at the end). But once you have it, it's invaluable, and often in the past I've found other people want my guides because they're fairly clear and precise about what needs doing when. For example, you might say, "Open the file and move column B to in front of column A. NOTE: THERE IS ONE EXCEPTION, THIS IS THE EXCEPTION." Or "Once you've saved the file, save a second copy to your backup folder so you can go back to it if you delete something you shouldn't. Stop and check: is this file from before or after October? If after, remember, you have to also rename it." If you find that there's a mistake you make frequently, figure out what would stop you from making it and add that in.
(We had a guy at work whose last name was VERY long and Italian, and so when I was working phones he got a special entry in the directory document I made -- the first line was all his directory info and the second line was just the phonetic pronunciation of his last name. He found out, which I had never intended him to do, and lost his shit laughing. "No wonder you're the only one who gets it right!")
So my recommendation to you is to create your own handbook, your own templates, and your own way of doing things and just slip that back into the system you have at work. Draw a diagram by hand if you need a flow chart. My approach to all my organizational issues has always been "What would make me do this correctly / prevent me from doing that thing wrong / remind me what to do / make it easier for me to start".
I think of this nowadays as the "Take the cupboard doors off" school of organizing, because to really make full use of my kitchen in a way that I liked, I had to take some of the cupboard doors off. It looks messier and kind of cheap, but it's actually a much more organized system now, and who's in my kitchen other than me?
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Shh! Pt. 2
Summary: The hangovers are very real for Dean and Y/N. Will they notice the artwork on the fridge?
Pairing/Characters: Dean Winchester x Y/N
Warnings: None. This second part is pretty much all fluff too.
Word Count: 2,693 (This part was a bit longer than the first. Sorry!)
A/C: Okay, so the first part of Shh! was actually just supposed to be a one shot, fic request. But I got a fair few requests for a sequel about the morning after, and I wanted to know what happened too. So, here it is. Lol! I had a lot of fun writing the two parts to this little story. Hope you have fun reading them. ❤️
It was requested that I tag @arcannaa if I made a second part. So, here ya go, lovely. Let me know if you'd like to be added to one of the tag lists linked below. ❤️
Part 1 is here || Main Master List || Tag Lists
The Next Morning:
Dean's groan was deep and long and ended in one word. “Fuck.”
“Shh…” Y/N held her head in her hands as she sat up. “Why are you so loud?” She asked, and her voice sounded as dry and cracked as the Sahara.
“No, you're so loud.” Was Dean's witty rejoinder as he sat up beside her.
They both turned their heads to look at each other and groaned again. Y/N looked around the room and her brow creased with confusion.
“Why am I here?”
Dean grunted. “I'm a little too hungover for an existential crisis.”
Y/N pursed her lips, side eyeing him. “No, idiot. I mean why am I here in your bed? Why aren't I in my own bed?”
Dean rubbed his hand down his face. “Well, your bed is about 2 hours away, which probably explains the sleepover.”
Y/N hummed her agreement and pointed at him, conceding the point. “Yeah, I guess neither of us was in the best shape to drive.” She paused and then scowled. “We didn't, right? I mean, we didn’t drive home.”
She squinted at Dean who was shaking his head. “Nooo…” His tone said that was impossible, but then he tilted his head. “Right? There’s no way we would have been that stupid.”
Y/N shook her head and then stopped when the room started spinning. She rubbed her temples with her fingertips. “No, we must have taken a cab. We must have.”
It was silent while both of them tried desperately to remember something from the night before.
Dean sat up straight. “Rainbow Connection!” He said suddenly.
Y/N turned to look at him again and one eye brow was raised. “Are you stroking out?”
Dean waved at her. “No, the cab. I remember we took a cab cause I remember being in it and singing ‘Rainbow Connection’.” He closed his eyes. “I really don’t remember why though.”
Y/N gasped softly, remembering something. “Rambeau.”
Dean opened his eyes to look at her and his expression was all confusion. “Uh…Rocky II. We just naming Stallone movies?”
Y/N made a sound of disgust. “No, B - E - A - U, Rambeau, not Rambo.” When Dean still just stared at her blankly, she sighed and rolled her eyes. “It was the driver’s name, remember. But you thought he -”
“ - said Rainbow!” Dean finished, snapping his fingers. “Right! That’s when we started singing it.” He nodded, happy with their mental sleuthing, and then he shook his head.
“Man, I hope we gave him a big tip.”
Y/N chuckled and then took a big breath. “K, I need coffee, stat. Like a vat of coffee, like, this is a hook-it-to-my-veins kinda situation.”
Dean grunted his agreement and they both pushed themselves up from the bed with a painful groan. Dean grabbed Y/N’s wrist as they were leaving the room. “Wait, do you remember…did we talk to Sam last night?”
Y/N just shrugged. “Dude, I have no idea.”
“Huh…I feel like we did.” Dean said quietly as he padded towards the kitchen with Y/N trailing just behind him.
When they got to the kitchen Y/N collapsed onto one of the seats at the table and cradled her head in her hands.
Dean walked to the coffee maker and his face lit up.
“Oh, thank god for a little brother who gets up at the butt crack of dawn to go running to nowhere in particular. He made the coffee already!” He grabbed two cups and brought them and the pot to the table.
Y/N inhaled deeply, pulling the aroma of the coffee into her lungs. “Do you have cream?”
Dean made a face. “Cream? God no; this is a black coffee household, Y/N. You should know this.”
Y/N rolled her eyes and smiled. “Yes, of course. Only manly black coffee for the Winchesters. How foolish of me.”
Dean shot her a grin and nodded in the direction of the fridge. “Might be some milk in the fridge.”
Y/N groaned again as she dragged herself up and stumbled blindly towards the fridge. She looked back at Dean as she pulled open the door. “I swear to God it feels like my muscles are about two minutes away from seizing up all together.”
Dean chuckled as Y/N looked into the fridge and shook her head. “There is nothing resembling milk in this fridge.”
“In the back?”
“Dean, there is no ‘back’ to this fridge. You’ve got three beers and leftover pizza that’s harder than the cardboard box it’s in.” She said as she peered inside. As Dean began rummaging around at the coffee station, she picked up a piece of the pizza and banged the crust against the box.
“That’s just sad.” She muttered.
“Score!” Dean called out just as Y/N closed the fridge door. “Found something called Coffee Whitener! Not CoffeeMate, it’s literally just called coffee whitener.”
“Uh…Dean?”
Dean’s face fell into a frown. “Actually, I don’t know how old this is.”
“Dean.”
“Might be from the fifties.” Dean mumbled. “Cause for the life of me I can’t remember Sam or I ever buying -”
“Dean!” Y/N yelled.
Dean grimaced as her shout made his head pound. “What? Jesus, why are you yelling?”
Y/N was pointing at the fridge door. “What the fuck is this?”
Dean set down the coffee whitener and walked over. “What the fuck is what?”
Y/N just kept pointing as Dean came up beside her to see two wrinkled up pieces of paper stuck to the fridge.
As he read the words he felt his heart clench. He read both letters twice.
He looked at Y/N slowly and couldn’t read what her expression was saying. He shook his head. “I - I mean, I dunno. Where did they come from?”
Y/N shrugged. “I don't know, but that’s my handwriting and…that’s yours. Do you…I mean, do you remember writing them?”
Dean shook his head. “No. I don’t remember. But, I mean…it must have…I mean, it had to be some kind of joke, right? Like we were messing around? Just some kind of drunken joke?”
Y/N was looking away from him, but he shrugged again. “I mean, don’t you think?”
She nodded and her face was scrunched up when she looked at him. “Had to be, right?”
He felt his heart plummet even as he nodded. “Right?”
“Yeah, we were just being stupid, fucking around.” She concluded quietly.
He nodded again. “Yeah.”
They were quiet for a minute before Y/N pointed towards the table. “So, did you say something about 1950’s coffee whitener?”
Dean forced a chuckle. “Yeah, come try it out, if you dare.”
They sat at the table and Dean poured them both coffee. In the end, Y/N just took a bit of sugar in hers, not willing to be a guinea pig for the decades old, mostly chemicals coffee whitener.
Silence reigned between them, neither of them able to push aside the words in the letters. Finally, Y/N couldn’t take the awkwardness and, pushing her coffee cup aside, she stood up.
“I should probably get going. I gotta shower and change and, you know, try to feel like a human again.” She said with a stilted laugh.
Dean nodded. “Yeah for sure. I’ll drive you.”
Y/N waved him down as he started to stand. “No, no. Don’t worry about it. I’ll just take the bus. There’s one that comes at 11:00. I’ve taken it before.”
Dean frowned. “Why the hell would you take the bus when I can just drive you.”
Y/N tucked her hair behind her ears nervously. She knew she wouldn't survive a two hour car ride, sitting so close to him but knowing she was never going to get any closer.
...it had to be some kind of joke, right? Dean's dismissive voice echoed in her mind.
So, she shook her head at him. “No, it’s okay. This way you can just rest and feel better. I like the bus. You know, I just put my music on and chill the whole way.”
“Right.” Dean said sardonically, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice. “Cause you know, if I drove you, we’d definitely be listening to an audio book about the sixteenth century Christian Reformation. No music in my car.”
Y/N laughed nervously. “No, I know…but…”
Dean just nodded again. “Yeah, okay. Well, have a good two hour bus ride, I guess.”
Y/N smiled. “I will. I’ll uh…I’ll call you.”
“M’kay.”
Y/N cleared her throat. “See ya.” She said with another plastered-on-smile as she left the kitchen.
“Yeah, see ya.” Dean answered quietly.
About an hour later Dean was still sitting at the kitchen table nursing an ice cold black coffee when he heard the bunker door slam. A minute later Sam walked into the kitchen in his running clothes, sweating and still breathing deeply.
He went to the sink to fill up his water bottle as he looked back at Dean with a smirk. “You look ill.” Dean just grunted and Sam chuckled as he took a sip of water. “Where’s Y/N?” He asked.
“Went home.” Dean answered shortly.
Sam frowned looking towards the fridge where the letters still hung. “Didn’t you guys see the letters?”
Dean’s head came up quickly and he stared at Sam. “What do you mean? Why do you know about them?”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Who the hell do you think hung them up there?”
Dean shook his head, anger in his expression. “Why the fuck would you do something like that? Y/N saw them and freaked.”
“What?”
“I’m telling you. She saw what I wrote and couldn’t get out of here fast enough. Wouldn’t even take a ride home.” Dean said sullenly.
Sam set his water bottle down on the island, hard. “Oh my god!” He growled. “I might actually strangle you both.” When Dean just continued to frown at him, Sam shook his head. “Didn’t you each read the other’s letter? You guys wrote essentially the same thing to each other. Because you’re both so into each other. Jesus Christ.”
He pushed two hands through his damp hair. “I figured once you both saw it written out right in front of you, you’d realize that you’re both a couple of dumbasses!”
Dean shook his head. “No, she didn’t mean what she wrote. She thought it was some kind of drunken joke.”
Sam scowled. “She told you it was just a joke? She remembered writing her letter?”
“No, but I asked if she thought it was a joke and she said yeah, it had to be. Had to be because she has no interest in me like that.”
“Did she actually say that?” Sam asked, speaking over the end of Dean’s sentence, “Or did she just go along with you when you suggested it was a joke, because that’s what she thought you thought?”
When Dean didn’t answer Sam growled again in frustration. “For fuck’s sake this is ridiculous. I’m just gonna spell it out for you.” He walked over to stand in front of Dean at the table. “Y/N is madly in love with you.”
Dean scoffed, but Sam sliced his hand through the air. “No, shut up. She is in love with you and you are in love with her, and if you asked one single other person who knows you both, they’ll tell you the exact same thing. Because it is glaringly, abundantly, stupidly obvious, you dumbass. Now go find her at the station, tell her the truth and watch how quickly she tells you she feels the same.”
Dean was frowning. “That's not gonna happen.” But he could feel a spark of hope at his brother’s certainty.
Sam just glared.
He threw up his hands. “Okay, I’ll go.” He stood up and walked towards the door, stopping on the top step to look back at Sam. “But when she rips my heart out and I lose my best friend, you’re gonna be the one who has to deal with me.”
Sam rolled his eyes and pointed. “Go.”
All the way to the bus station, Dean was running through scenarios in his mind. As he parked outside, his watch said 10:50; was she already gonna be on the bus? Would it be like one of those horrible romcom things, where he had to chase her down through the crowd and then confess his love on a bus full of people. And if he did that, was Sam right? Would she love him back, or was it going to end up as - less funny romcom, more tragic farce?
He had the scenario half imagined in his head, but when he walked through the doors he was reminded that the Lebanon bus station was actually quite small so, no running from terminal to terminal looking for her. There were only two bus stalls outside to begin with, but also, she was sitting calmly on a bench just across from the door.
He walked towards her and her eyes got wide.
Fuck, I can’t do this. Why the fuck am I doing this? Dean thought over and over.
He stopped in front of her and she looked up at him, her face puzzled. “Dean? What are you doing here?”
He jammed his hands into his jacket pockets and rocked up on to the balls of his feet; he shrugged. “I don’t know, I just thought…I really wanna give you a ride home.”
Y/N frowned and lifted a hand towards the small ticket office. “I already bought my ticket.”
“Well, get a refund.”
“Why do you want to drive me home so badly?” Y/N asked loudly, frustration tinting her words.
“Why don’t you want me to?” Dean answered even louder.
Y/N let out a huff of air. “I don’t want you to not…I don’t not want…I want not t -” She broke off with a cry of frustration. “Ugh!!”
She looked up at him and her gaze was confused and questioning. “Dean, what is going on here?”
Dean shuffled from foot to foot for a minute, until Y/N started to speak again and he cut her off.
“The letter was true.”
He spoke quietly and he wondered if she’d heard him. He wasn’t sure he’d have the courage to say it again; as it was, he was staring at the ground, his stomach in knots.
“What?”
He shook his head and finally just decided it was all or nothing.
“My letter. What I wrote. It was true. I mean, it was drunken idiocy, but…” He raised his head and looked at her. “It was true.”
“Really?”
He wasn’t sure, but he thought he caught relief in her voice, so he smiled at her and gave a resigned nod.
“Yep. You are my good day.” He said, paraphrasing his letter. “I want kisses from you.” He paused a beat. “And also sex.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Sorry.”
Y/N’s smile was bright and beautiful as she leapt up and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Thank god.” She bit her bottom lip and then quoted her letter. “I hope you will kiss me. All the time.”
Dean felt like his chest might actually burst from happiness as he grasped her waist and pulled her close.
“I can do that.”
He pulled her tight against him, capturing her lips in a kiss that he’d waited for for a very long time.
Y/N felt lightheaded with joy and with the headiness of Dean’s kiss. His lips were soft and searching as they pressed tightly to hers, and she opened to him immediately, reveling in the deep groan that tumbled out of him as he sank his tongue deep into her mouth.
They clung to each other, endlessly kissing, sharing breath and stealing each other's moans. Neither of them were one hundred percent sure they weren’t just in a very vivid dream, but both of them were determined that if it was a dream, they didn’t want to wake up.
The loudspeaker came on announcing that Y/N’s bus was boarding, but neither of them heard it, and neither of them cared. The ticket agent who’d sold her the ticket called out to her.
“Miss, your bus is leav-”
But her coworker interrupted her. “Shh! Are you crazy? Do you see the man kissing her? Trust me she does NOT want to be disturbed.”
She wasn't wrong.
Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters:
@lyarr24
@lacilou
@deans-spinster-witch
@globetrotter28
@suckitands33
@alwaystiredandconfused
@evznackles
@jackles010378
@impala67rollingthroughtown
@krazykelly
@candy-coated-misery0731
@envyaurora95
@spnwoman
@deans-baby-momma
@luvr4miya
Dean Fics Only:
@roonthelittlespoon920
@slamminmine
@zepskies
@safiyas-world
Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom:
@kazsrm67
@slut-for-evans-stan
@sexyvixen7
@nancymcl
@hobby27
@waywardcheshire
Everything Incl. Fan Edits:
@k-slla
@leigh70
@eevvvaa
@kickingitwithkirk
@foxyjwls007
@notinthislife50
@roseblue373
@mishkatelwarriorgoddess
@avanatural
@mrsjenniferwinchester
@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone
@deangirl96
#dean x y/n#dean winchester#dean winchester fluff#dean winchester fic#dean winchester mini-series#dean winchester crack
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Hello, I haven't had time to read as much as I would want but I'm here with an update regardless, because if I don't keep these constant, I'm gonna forget things and this, so far, seems like a book in which I don't wanna forget things.
previously, in harrowbean the ninth:
this happened
currently, after "parodos" and ch. 1:
so I'm making up a timeline in my head with the information at hand
which is never straightforward
that'd be too easy, here in tlt we like to be kept on our toes
we like to be punched in the gut when we least expect it
so get ready for bad math
this would probably make our good friend palmolive atreides weep
I'm sorry palomilve's force ghost, I'm doing my best
SO
the first entry was the night of the emperor being terminated
the "parodos" bit (we'll get to that) is 14 months before the emperor is snuffed out
ch. 1 is nine months before the emperor kicks the bucket
I believe act 1 is going to be happening around that time, since ch. 2 seems to be following without another indication
because of what happens in "parodos" aka flashback, aka prologue 2: elecric bogaloo, we can attempt to estimate when the events of gideon happened
harrowbean tells ortus in the flashback that he's gonna train with aiglamene for 12 weeks
let's assume that's kind of the amount of time gideon trained, plus the time it took harrow to plot how to girlsplain, gatekeep and gaslight gideon into it
the only one girlbossing here is camilla, I don't make the rules
so, if gideon and harrow were ready to leave the ninth somewhere around 2-3 months after the flashback, it'd be circa 11 months before the events in the prologue
and ch. 1 starts 9 months before the events in the prologue
so gideon might have happened somewhere around 11-10 months before the prologue
I can't tell how long they were in canaan house (it felt like 12 years and 5 minutes at the same time) but I think about a month is mostly right, given that once bodies start dropping, things are all happening together
all of this is relative, since time in space is ????
but I need to do this for my own peace of mind
if you give me time measurements I'm gonna measure, ok?
I need to organize things
I know I will end up making a graphic at some point I just know it
this is what I get for calling palmolive a turbonerd
ANYWAY, MOVING ON
or, moving back, since we're in prologue 2: electric bogaloo aka flashback time
here we have ortus (the one we knew, not the one we will get to know, according to the characters list) telling harrow he doesn't wanna go to the field trip
this is ortus
if you're wondering why I don't nickname ortus, I'll repeat myself but "orto" means "ass" where I'm from, so that's enough to remember him by
harrow is like "I know you're underqualified but we're understaffed, so it is what it is"
the important part is that harrowbean says she sees the barbie in the freezer walking about
like a ghost or whatnot
she refers to her as "the body" and I assume that's barbie in the ice cube because someone reblogged my recap where I mentioned her and tagged
ever since then I've been wondering why she was referred to as The Body and now I'm gonna assume this is it
so harrow tells ortus he needs to hide the fact that she's mentally unstable
[non funny side note: masking is unbearable and it's awful we live in a social and cultural environment where we feel pressured to do it, especially when you're an adult having to fulfill expectations of supposedly "age-specific" activities and responsibilities, it's exhausting and I cried about that in therapy a mere week ago so, hitting hard, this bit
don't let people make you feel "less than" because the way in which you navigate the world and your experiences is different from what's expected in some theoretical socially constructed category
and fuck everyone who, in order to put people down in arguments online, ever make fun of those who aren't mentally, economically or socially as independent as what the category of an adult is supposed to be to them
argue with concepts, argue with opinions and facts, don't tear people down in the name of "moral upper hand" by telling people they're losers for needing help
side note done]
so, harrow entered the whole canaan thing not only carrying the weight of her house, her family and her entire people
she also came into it believing she's not mentally sound and seeing The Body walking around unnoticed by other people
whether or not her visions are mentally unsettled or something that actually happens because she opened the tomb, just the whole situation of her birth is enough to make anyone collapse, so we got you, harrowbean
we're here for you
and all that without mentioning what it'd be like seeing your girlfriend cavalier impale herself in front of you
I'm taking liberties with the 'girlfriend' bit but idk
so, next we know, 5 months have passed from that and harrowcita is struggling in her new environment of the clown emperor's ship
she is made to carry gideon's sword and she can't
she can't seem to know what to do or to communicate with said knowledge and she's throwing up a lot
WHICH IS GREAT!!!!!
I mean, it's not great that she's suffering
but it's GREAT because if she can't communicate with gideon's slurped soul, maybe it means gideon's soul has not been slurped AT ALL
more fuel for my wishful thinking of gideon's soul returning to her and getting regenerated and saved and being alive
I also like very much this situation in which harrow sees the sword as personified and they hate each other without gideon
it's like prim's cat in the hunger games with katniss
but with an inanimate object
I'm really liking that dynamic
is like they both miss her and can't relate to each other
ALSO barbie body ice cube is still there
just chillin' and being silently supportive, I think
not sure what her deal is but what if she's not the bad one here? because this emperor kind of sucks tbh
not in a 'he's evil' way but in a 'idk if he know what he's doing' way
I don't know about this guy tbh
so we're leaving off with harrow being mentally and physically struggling, ghost barbie roamin' the rooms, voices of people organizing stock and gideon in my head like this, walking in limbo to get back to us
also, another day without camilla
I thought I wasn't gonna have much to say and this is so long, I'm so sorry...
#luly reacts to tlt#harrow the ninth#tlt#harrow the ninth spoilers#tlt spoilers#the locked tomb#long post#gif cw
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QSMP Purgatory Thoughts
I have a lot of thoughts regarding the current arc for QMSP. I also main the team BOLAS???!? POV but as an insane individual I have seen the vod's and watch multiple teams POV's at the same time. So take all of this with a grain of salt. It's not that deep and I have absolutely no malice towards any of the CC's.
Purgatory is not meant to be easy, it's meant to be harsh. People will not act in a fashion that they usually would in this environment and condemning them as terrible individuals is extremally short sighted and wildly unnecessary. No-one deserves a hate raid just because they decided to attack someone elses favorite CC. Makes no sense.
That being said, I think people are collectively undermining the weight of the actions (in rp) done to team red on the first day. The first day in purgatory team red was SLAMMED. From being slain by friends to being spawn killed, to having bodies looted and homes ransacked, team red somehow kept getting the brunt of the focus. This was not intentional of course but it kept happening.
( Notably, team red has some of the least experienced players when it comes to playing minecraft itself along with the most players with the lowest chance of coming online at ALL during the event. However. This team also has some of the veteran players and have some of the most consistent players. This balances them out when it comes to the other teams who are better at PVP and better at Modded minecraft, respectively. )
The events of day one set the tone for red teams response to every single action the other teams took from that point forwards. They tried talking to others and were silenced. They tried setting up a base and it was destroyed over and over. This chain reaction is WHY team red is so hesitant to speak to others let alone work with them. This mentality keeps being re-enforced by the actions of others when red team takes the chance to talk or lower their guard.
ex. Jaiden willing to talk to Tubbo, only for BBH to spawn kill her.
ex. Teams agreeing to just pvp for the event only for Green team to start harming the enemy teams egg first.
ex. Red teams alliance with Green team being cast aside so green team could win by making a deal with blue team.
From Red team's POV genuinely, there is no reason to talk or make alliances. They only have each other. This trust in one another alone is why red team keeps managing to gain the wins. It's a level of trust in the others capabilities that makes them strong. The RP team just spends the day giggling and cheering each other on regardless of where they are on the score board. They only take a chance to try and win when one of them goes "hmm... You guys wanna try?" and the group just agrees to give it a shot. There is nothing deeper too it.
Red team has become the frightened dog of the server. Of course it's going to bite at the hands offered. They aren't trying to win they are trying to survive. They have the least amount of resources and the weakest gear. They have some of the worst pvp players but by god they are having so much fun with one another. There are exceptions to who they relax around and those are usually "partners" and or "close friends" but even then, team red knows that at any moment these meetings could turn to bloodshed.
Having seen some of the other teams POV's is boggles my mind how certain both blue and green team are that red team has some giant base and has crazy enchants and super armor when they went into the event with basically nothing enchanted they used up EVERYTHING they had for the event. They haven't been on the grind as much because they spend a lot of time dead. The red team is also extremally "task" oriented. They all love finishing a list and honestly that's really all spend their day's doing. The tasks at hand and trying not to die. That and having a good time.
Which.. when it comes down to it, isn't that the point of all of this? To have fun?
Red team also got the Eye guy to say "Bolas" and that in of itself is a win.
#qsmp#qsmp theory#qsmp thoughts#qsmp purgatory#qsmp bolas#qsmp soulfire#qsmp green gay ninjas#qsmp red team#qsmp blue team#qsmp green team
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No but serious. Dungeons & Dragons is one of the least flexible systems out there. So whenever I hear someone asking, "Why can't I do X in DnD?" or "How would I do (thing that the system is totally ill-suited for)?" my first response is just "GURPS."
For those of you who aren't familiar, GURPS stands for "Generic Universal Role Playing System." I always say it's like the Linux of ttrpgs, in the sense that it's less a system and more a framework that you can use to do whatever you want with.
And I really do mean whatever you want. You want high fantasy? Done. You want gritty realism in a dystopian world? Got it. You want superheroes? Good to go. Super tech space opera? Oh boy we got you there. You want magic systems that aren't based on spell lists? Go for it. Horror games where character death is a constant and very real threat? Sure thing.
You can set up your game to be anything from a complex data driven grinder to a cinematic rules basically optional flight of fancy.
You can play characters who are anywhere from realistically squishy humans to god-like super beings.
Characters personal flaws and strengths can have a direct impact on mechanics. Character species can have a direct and serious impact on mechanics.
The existence of so many options can make GURPS seem overwhelming at first glance, but if you are willing to put in a bit of effort, it's actually a very simple system to play. Most of the hard work is front-loaded into setting and character creation. Once play starts it runs as smooth as can be.
It's totally possible to play it with just the two core books, BUT there are dozens of books that are nothing but tips and advice for how to build a particular type of world or a particular flavor of campaign.
And the books, while not nearly as pretty as DnD books, are laid out in a way that makes it incredibly easy to find exactly the information you want.
Some more mechanical things that I particularly like about it (under the cut):
Characters are created on a point-buy system, but you don't just buy your basic stats, you also buy your skills, advantages, and secondary stats. And you can gain points back by dropping stats below average or taking disadvantages.
The advantage/disadvantage system. This is sorta the core of the character building, and it is *so* much fun. See, rather than pick out a class or species, you have a list (selected by your GM from a much larger list) of things you can buy that will have mechanical impacts on you in the game. Basically, an advantage is anything that opens up more possibilities for you in-game, and a disadvantage is anything that closes off possibilities. They can be superpowers, species traits, cinematic plot armor, personality traits, or things like chronic illness, bad temper, physical or mental disabilities, or being doomed by the narrative.
Simple dice system. To play a GURPS campaign you need three d6. That's it. All checks and saves are done by rolling 3d6 (low rolls are better than high). This has an additional advantage over the d20 system in that there is a probability curve. You're more likely to roll numbers in the mid-range, which makes both critical successes and critical failures rarer, and therefore more satisfying.
Your target roll is adjusted, rather than adding/subtracting from the roll itself. Say you're trying to, idk, hack a computer. Your skill level doesn't affect your dice roll, it affects the number you need to roll in order to succeed. This makes things a lot simpler on the player's end, imo, because there's less they need to keep track of. (You're trying to roll under the skill check, so whatever the base difficulty is, the GM just adds or subtracts your skill level from that).
The basic stats are on a much tighter scale, and they make a lot more sense. Human average is a 10 in everything. When you make your character you can buy higher stats or take lower ones and get more points to spend on other things. All stats cap out at 18, because that's the highest number you can roll. At a 10 strength you are a normal person. At 18 you're basically Superman. You'd have to roll a critical failure not to succeed in a strength check, and remember: critical failures are far less common than in a d20 system.
I could keep going ad infitum here, but instead I'll just close with:
Come with me boy, play my games! We'll have cowboy times in space!
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touched on this in my top ten list, but i wanted to expand on it separately because i've been thinking about morgan and the seer obscura a lot lately 💭
so. "time is a song." morgan kinda blew up after its release, i feel like, and it's with good reason; the atmosphere of that audio is calm and sleepy but also, like… to me there's this longing for connection throughout the whole thing, ykwim?
like. we already know that the seer obscura is sort of at odds with their powers, given how they waited so long to go to the department, how they suppress their sight, and how they go radio silent after their first meeting with morgan. the seer obscura is clearly uncertain about all of this - morgan even calls them standoffish in "consulting with a seer." but they keep going back to him. being the only two known seer obscuras is naturally going to pull them together; the seer obscura is struggling to live with their unique type of sight after the inversion, and morgan is the only one who understands what they're going through.
(and he's gotta kinda pry them open because the seer obscura is notably a reserved person, but he's very gentle about it, he's understanding and patient and does his best to explain their shared sight even though he's never had to before because a) normal seers don't wanna hear it and b) he never thought there would be another seer obscura in his lifetime (much less one his own age) to talk to about it. and then giving them his own personal view of time when the typical water allegory doesn't work is just further building that connection between them.)
anyway, given the end of "learning about your magical abilities" and the fact that there's a year between its release and "time is a song," i'm sure they've gotten together at least a handful of times to work on the seer obscura's control. morgan to this point has consistently been open about wanting to help any way he can, but you can still kinda tell in "time is a song" that they aren't exactly friends yet, and that's why this one really gets me.
the setting for "time is a song" is so intimate - it's his home, in the middle of the night, with not a lot of time to make things presentable before someone he hardly knows outside of work comes over. the seer obscura needed help and comfort and even when they tried to backtrack out of asking for that, morgan invites them over anyway. he says he specifically focused on tidying up the apartment rather than himself, which means he’s looking like he just out rolled out of bed because he literally did. and that's just such a vulnerable thing to me, and it allows the rest of the audio to settle into this quiet, comfortable space that the seer obscura needs.
"when i said you can call anytime, i meant that." "another seer obscura like me[.]" "then there's you and me." "but you've got me. i'm here." "i want to know you." "it takes two to tango; you asked, and i said 'let's dance.'" like it's all just. i feel like i'm going to cry right now just thinking about this LMAO the seer obscura feels so lonely to me and morgan is constantly reassuring them that they aren't alone in this anymore, and i think that means a great deal to them.
to me this entire audio is thick with tension, but it really ramps up when they move out onto the balcony and morgan starts listing things he likes, because it's a shift from obscura lore dump to a personal heart-to-heart. he opened up his home to them and now he's opening himself up too. he gets a little silly! and then he drops the "i want to know you. you won't know that unless i tell you, so i'm telling you. [...] we can just be people with one another, too." and it is genuinely one of the most insane things i've heard in the entirety of the redactedverse. the period of silence after his laughter trails off where you can feel him gearing up to say something, the sincerity with which he says it, the relaxed atmosphere, the mental image of the only two seer obscuras on earth standing together on a balcony in the early morning hours...
(there's more to be said wrt the seer obscura backpedaling in the beginning and later apologizing for "wasting" morgan's time after he's already told them he wants to get to know them, but this post is long enough without me theorizing about that. i'm really interested to see if it gets touched on again; i'd like to know more about them.)
um. anyway. i'm driven insane by the audio every single time. all of the insane lore gained from all three audios so far aside (<- refusing to think about how morgan brought having your threads cut into the prime timeline instead of leaving it in cataclysm), the relationship these two have already is just captivating. the end
#this is so much longer than i thought it was going to be. is any of it even remotely coherent. i hope so bc i've been here for three hours#sweetheart.txt#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted morgan#morgan kyne#redacted seer obscura#morgan#seer obscura
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the bucket list ✘ [one]
series masterlist | prev | next
[ ❀ spotify playlist ]
summary: Fly to Korea. Check. Buy a bouquet of flowers for a stranger. Check. Have said stranger come along with you to accomplish your bucket list? Well that wasn’t on the list, but falling in love was.
pairing: han jisung x afab!reader
genre: 18+ [MDNI] strangers to lovers, non idol au, crack, mostly fluff, later chapters to include: angst, comfort, smut.
general warnings: tourist!mc, adult themes including but not limited to: suggestive content, nudity, cursing, alcohol consumption, mentions of death in later chapters, overarching theme of mental health, eventual smut.
word count: ~3.6k
chapter content: mentions of food, excessive lip biting as a nervous habit, cafe employee!seungmin, stranger danger tbh don’t be like o/c, Lee Know mentioned, but not present.
author’s note: I've never written for stray kids and most of what i write is typically on the sadder side so fluff isn't my strongest point but i've had this in my head for awhile. feedback, reblogs, likes, v much appreciated. :) updates will be sporadic, but i'm aiming for once every two weeks.
You shield your eyes from the beating sun above, pupils unadjusted from being on a plane for the past 12 plus hours with the window shut. You let go of the suitcase you had been dragging along behind you to fish your phone out of your back pocket. Humming to yourself, you check the map, trying to find your way to Seoul. “Ah!” You say into the air, which grants you a couple of curious and annoyed stares. You duck your head in an attempt to be unseen, embarrassed by the attention. You make your way to the train station and purchase a ticket. It doesn’t take long for the train to arrive, and soon you’re sitting with your backpack in your lap and your suitcase between your legs.
According to the tourist guide you had pulled up on your phone, the train ride would take around 40 minutes. In the meantime, you rummage through your backpack to look for an old loosely bound book. You find it after digging past your makeup bag and some snacks you had saved from the flight. With a hum, you search through the pages, and after some flipping, you land on the correct one. Your index finger traces down a list, and randomly you stop it. “Buy a bouquet for a stranger.”
You chew on your lip, a habit you picked up whenever you found yourself feeling uneasy. You may not bethe most outgoing person, but you aren't completely against socializing.
It’s just … going up to a stranger in a town– let alone country– you’ve never been in was 1000% terrifying.
Before you know it, the intercom announces your stop and you're scrambling to gather your belongings. You make your way out of the station and suddenly, you hold your breath in awe at the scene in front of you. There were so many people, walking in every direction. You hear little tidbits of their conversations: where they were planning to go for lunch, the new restaurant that opened up in Itaewon, what someone’s boyfriend had given them for their 100 days. The sounds of a city fill your ears.
If you're being honest, it was a little overwhelming. For a moment, you have doubts of why you had gotten on that plane. You shut your eyes and count down from 7. There, your breathing is even, your head’s a little clearer, and you realize that you had a goal to accomplish. You couldn't back out now, you refuse to be stuck in your old ways.
‘Flowers first,’ you think to yourself.
After a couple of blocks of lugging your suitcase behind you, you find a quaint little flower stand. A young woman and what seem to be her grandfather were the owners of the stall. You stand there, staring at all the options. The young woman approaches you, her hands placed inside the pockets of her green apron, “Hi, do you need help picking something out?”
“Hi, yes!” you quickly blurt out. “I just wanted a bouquet that would make someone’s day.” You give the woman a meek smile. You recognize the characters on her apron to read Minji.
“Is this for anyone special? Your mom, maybe?” She starts to pull at a couple of arrangements, one bouquet made of mostly carnations.
You shake your head, “No…” You hesitate as you wondered to yourself, ‘Do I tell her it’s for someone I don’t even know?’ You chuckle at the thought absentmindedly.
Minji takes that to mean something else, “A boy perhaps then?” There's something a little suggestive in her tone, complemented by the raise of her brow in your direction.
“Oh, no no!” You shake your head for emphasis, furiously denying it. “Absolutely nothing like that.” You find yourself laughing at the predicament. “I’m actually going to give the flowers to a stranger.”
“Oh–” Minji looks pleasantly surprised, “That’s very kind of you. I have just the thing then.”
You stay in place while Minji goes to the other side of the flower stall to wrap up the bouquet she hand picked. Soon, she comes back and you make an expression of gratitude. “Minji, you really didn’t have to do that! I could have just gotten one of the premade ones.” You pout, looking through the flowers as you take the bouquet from her. It was very simple, three medium sunflowers, some Queen Anne’s lace, and a few branches of baby blue eucalyptus.
“No, don’t worry about it. What was your name again?”
“Y/N”, You give her the appropriate amount of money.
“Well, Y/N, I hope you brighten someone’s day!” Minji smiles at you and bids you farewell as you turn and leave.
“Now who do I give this to?” You hold the bouquet in one hand while you pull your luggage, the sound of its wheels on the concrete trailing behind you.
You stop at an intersection, scanning the crowd for someone that seems approachable. Will it be the middle aged woman holding the hand of a small boy while they cross the street? Maybe it would be the man in a suit that was on the phone, oh he was looking in your direction. He glared at you.
Okay, so not that guy.
You were about to give up until you spot a young man, about your age give or take a few, walking in your direction. He was still crossing the street, but he had a certain pep to his step, like he was listening to a really good song in his headphones– which given the fact that he did have headphones on, he probably was. He seems approachable, even down to his outfit: white tee loosely tucked into black jeans a black belt to match his shoes, and gold metal thinly rimmed glasses.
“Um, excuse me!” You step towards him, holding the bouquet of flowers to your chest at first.
“Yes?” The man stops in front of you and stretches one side of his headphones away from his ear to hear you better.
“These are for you.” You extend the sunflowers towards him.
He looks around, a bit confused, then takes his headphones off fully, letting them hang around his neck. He takes a step towards the side, which you follow, so you’re out of the way of the traffic of people. “F-For me?!” He seems surprised. You can't blame him, you’re a total stranger. He gestures to himself, placing his palm on his chest. “I think you have the wrong guy!”
You shake your head, the corners of your lips turn up in a slight smile, mostly out of embarrassment. “No, definitely for you”.
The stranger takes the bouquet in his hand, examining it. “Who put you up to this? Was it Lee Know Hyung?” He looked back at you, raising a brow.
“I don’t even know who that is, I promise they’re for you!”
You notice his shoulders relaxing and he pinches at one of the blue eucalyptus leaves, feeling its texture. “But… why?”
You also relax and release the breath inside your lungs you didn’t know you were holding. He seems to at least be open to accepting the gift now. “It’s just something I wanted to cross off my bucket list: give a bouquet of flowers to a stranger.” You smile up at him and you hope that the man in front of you can sense how sincere you are and didn’t think you were an absolute lunatic.
“Well, thanks.” He slowly starts to smile and suddenly his eyes notice your bag and your suitcase. “Oh, are you visiting?”
You nod your head yes, “I am! I’m actually here because visiting Korea is also on my bucket list!”
His eyes grow wide, surprised by your seemingly adventurous personality. “You must have come a long way then, your accent is definitely not from around here.” He motions over to a bench a short walk away and the both of you make your way there.
“I will take that as a compliment.” Momentarily, you check your phone for the time. He must have noticed you doing so, because he motions to get up.
“Oh no, did I keep you?”
“Not at all, I’m just realizing what time it is back home.”
“Oh, you must be jet lagged, do you need help getting to your hotel?”
“I don’t have to check in until later,” you lie. You don't even have a hotel yet.
Oops.
"Well, in that case...." He seems nervous as he stands up, very subtly back and forth on the tips of his toes to the back of his heels. If that isn't enough, he rubs the back of his neck before he clears his throat and looks down at your sitting form. You look up at him as if you hadn’t been watching him the entire time. “Is grabbing coffee with a stranger on your bucket list too, then?”
You can't help but smile, a smile that pulled at your lips wide enough that it made the corner of your eyes crinkle. “It’s not, but I’m sure I could add it in.”
“Great, then I’ll make sure it’s an extra good café with instagrammable latte art!” He extends out his hand to help you up.
Once you stand up, you reach for your suitcase, but he beats you to it. Instead, he places the bouquet of flowers into your hands. “You carry that, and I’ll take these.” He slings your backpack over his shoulder.
“No, please let me. It’s really no problem for me!” You hold the bouquet of flowers to him, as if it's a trade off.
“It might be no problem for you, but what about me? You’re gonna slow us down carrying these things and the café spot gets busy in the afternoon!” He starts to walk away, looking back at you with a smirk after a couple of large strides.
Well, at least the stranger you picked had a sense of humor and wasn’t some asshole who would have rejected the flowers. Snapping out of your thoughts, you realize he really isn't going to wait for you and hurry after him.
The stranger— you still don't know his name, by the way; you've had no opportunity to ask—wasn’t kidding when he said that the café got busy. You were both lucky to grab a table on the outside of the establishment all thanks to your hovering and his remarkably subtle ability to place your suitcase in the way of other hopeful individuals looking for a seat.
Your eyes wander around the place, looking for a waiter or waitress to come and take your order. You desperately don't want to be the one to start conversation. You feel a little awkward sitting down with a guy you just met.
“I’m Han Jisung, by the way.” His voice cuts through the clinking of mugs, the soft hum of the people waiting for a table, and the occasional sound of the cars driving past.
You bring your eyes back to him, a little caught off guard. He smiles in a way that shows the gums and it's kind of cute, while his eyes crinkle into half crescents. You can't help but smile right back at him. “I’m Y/N.”
Jisung leans forward, into the table with his arms crossed. “So, what brings you to Korea, Y/N?”
You reach for the old beaten notebook in your bag and place it on the table. “I have this bucket list,” you open the pages and start flipping through it. There were a bunch of pages with cursive scrawls in paragraphs, some doodles, and eventually you stop on the page with the bucket list on it. “Just a bunch of things I wanna do before I die…” You give him a lopsided smile.
Jisung’s eyes look through the list, then he point at one half way down the page. “Well, you can now cross going to Korea off. “ His index finger drags across the page at another item, “And the bouquet one.”
“You’re right, thanks.” You take a pen from the front pouch of your backpack and cross those off.
“How long is your visit?”
You peer up at him, chewing on your bottom lip. He has an innocently curious expression on his face and you can't help but thank whoever's in charge of fate. Jisung is nice and welcoming, which is just what you need in a country you had never been to before. “About two weeks.”
“Do you plan on doing more of those here?”
You nod with a smile. “I do! As many as I can anyway.” Talking to him isn't as awkward as you think it would be. He's definitely to thank for carrying the conversation so naturally.
“Hi can I take yo—“ a young man, probably around Jisung’s age comes to your table with a small notepad in hand. He has medium brown hair pushed back, a wide smile, and kind eyes. He's wearing a pair of khaki slacks and a nicely pressed dress shirt underneath his navy blue apron. “Oh, Hannie! Hey!”
Jisung stands and pulls the newcomer into a short hug. “Seungmin!” Jisung motions to you at the table. “This is Y/N. A new friend of mine.”
You smile at Seungmin and stand, bowing your head slightly. “Hi, nice to meet you.”
Seungmin motions for you both to sit back down after introductions. “Ah, order whatever you guys want, it’s on the house! I hope you guys didn’t wait too long for a table.”
Jisung shook his head, sitting back down only after you did. “It didn’t take too long, but this place is crowded! You guys must be doing really well lately.”
Seungmin nodded with a sort of crooked grin, “Yeah, well ever since those KPOP idols were seen here, this place has been swamped.” He raised his brows up and down mischievously, looking at the both of you together. “We’re looking for help!”
Jisung scoffed and playfully rolled his eyes. “No thanks. Y/N is just visiting.” He leaned closer to you, as if the next part was only meant to be heard by you, though he was definitely talking loud enough for Seungmin to hear. “Besides, the last time I helped out he yelled at me for eating a pastry.”
Seungmin playfully hit Jisung’s arm with his notepad. “It wasn’t a pastry, it was your seventh one of the day.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, what will you be ordering?”
You looked around, unsure of what was good there. You wanted to get an idea from what others had ordered around you. Everyone seemed to have an iced drink… and they were all really dark coffees “A vanilla iced latte?” Your sweet tooth would never let you have coffee without some kind of creamer in it.
Seungmin nodded and scribbled it down. Then, without looking at Jisung, he said, “Americano, iced. And a slice of cheesecake.”
Jisung feigned a look of offense. “Am I that predictable?”
Seungmin laughed. “Honestly, no. But your orders are.” Seungmin placed his notepad in his apron pocket and went back into the cafe to fetch your orders.
“Ah, that was Seungmin. He and I go way back. Now he helps run this place!”
“That must be difficult, but this place looks great.”
“Yea, he’s always been a caffeine addict. One day, he decided that if he was going to be making coffee everyday, he might as well make money off of it.” Jisung chuckled to himself, then glanced your way from across the table. “Are you staying close by? I could walk you to your hotel after If you’d like”
You laughed nervously, avoiding eye contact, “Well.. actually…” your voice trailed off, catching a glimpse at his expression before spitting it out, “I don’t have one… yet.”
“You don’t have one?!” He had raised his voice slightly, startling a couple of people at nearby tables.
“Yet! I said yet!” You nervously played with the pen in your hands.
“You came to Korea without a place to stay!?”
“I literally bought my tickets two hours before the flight took off!”
Seungmin came back with your orders, just in time to catch the last bit of your conversation. His eyes widened in shock.
“TWO HOURS?” Both Jisung and Seungmin echoed you simultaneously.
You grabbed your iced vanilla latte and started chewing on the straw. “I mean… it probably sounds a lot worse than it is...”
Seungmin bent down at his knees to rest his arms on the table, head tilted. In that position, he really reminded you of a puppy. “Are you rich?”
“Umm, definitely not." You placed your free drink on the table and chuckled at the thought.
Jisung raised a brow in your direction, “So you’re broke.”
You grabbed your phone and checked your bank app. There was a silence that passed, the boys watching you carefully. You exhaled slowly and put your phone on the table, screen down. “Not like broke broke.”
Seungmin stood back up and forcefully put his hands on Jisung’s shoulders from behind him, giving them a squeeze for emphasis, “Well it’s a good thing that Hannie has a spare room, yea?”
The two of you exchanged looks until he finally said something, “I mean… Yeah… I guess I do.”
Jisung shot Seungmin a glare as he went back into the cafe then looked back you. You were still staring at him blankly, not saying a word. You were going through the logistics of it all in your head. It would be a free place to stay, but he was a complete stranger. This whole thing was a spontaneous trip, it was supposed to be a way for to come out of your comfortable way of living. You had been complacent, and quite honestly, staying in one place wasn’t going to help your mental health. But neither was staying with a stranger.
“It’s not like I’m an ax murderer or anything.”
Your silence was met with Jisung shrugging and grabbing his pastry off the plate in front of him. He broke it up into smaller pieces before stuffing it into his cheeks. He looked a little silly, reminding you of a squirrel with puffed up cheeks. “Or you can find a hotel room with all the money you still have saved up.”
You were quickly reminded of the lack of money in your bank account. “Okay yea,” you mumbled under your breath, “lead the way.”
Jisung gave you a short tour of his place. It was on the seventh floor, two bedrooms, one bathroom. A small kitchen with an equally as small island, enough for two people to eat at. He had a black couch facing a TV that was hooked up to a play station, probably the newest one.
You came out of the bathroom after showering in an over sized gray shirt and navy blue shorts underneath. You were towel drying your hair when you noticed he was at the sink. You sat at the island, his back to you. “Thanks for letting me stay with you.”
He seemed busy with something, but he looked over his shoulder at you. “Yea, no problem. Don’t worry about it.”
Seeing as he was a bit busy, you went into the spare room you were staying in and grabbed your notebook. You decided to bring it back to the island; if you were going to stay with Jisung for at least a couple of days, you were going to get to know him. He definitely seemed and had proven himself nice enough.
“Is that the list again?” Jisung asked you when you sat back down, still focused on whatever it was he was doing.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Cool!” He threw something away in the trash under the sink. Whatever it was he was working on, he placed it in the counter next to the sink.
“What kind of stuff do you think you could cross off?” He turned around and leaned on the island across from you. His head tilted, curious as he looked at you with warm round brown eyes.
You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. “Let’s see.” You opened up to the page, looking over the list and reading off a few at random.
“Paint a portrait. Sing at a karaoke bar. Fall asleep under the stars. Watch the sun rise—“
“Those are easy! You traveled all the way to korea for that? Where are the fun spontaneous ones?”
You sighed and ran your hands down your face. “I have those too, but they’re embarrassing!”
“Try me.”
You held your head in your hands, looking down at the book to avoid looking at him. “Crash a wedding.”
“Ooo that sounds fun. What else you got?”
“I booked a flight to Korea in two hours isn't that spontaneous enough?!”
He shook his head, still smiling.
You looked back down. “Goskinnydipping...” You mumbled very quietly and quickly, then cleared your throat trying to glaze over that bit, hoping he didn’t hear. When he didn't react, you continued. “Get a tattoo.” Slowly, you looked at him through your damp hair that fell over your eyes.
“Okay. Let’s do it.” He smiled at you, mischievous one.
“Get a tattoo?” You panicked and you could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks. Had he heard you?
“Let’s accomplish as many things on your list as we can while you’re here.”
You looked at him with a brow raised. You didn’t even know what to say. “Like… together?”
Jisung nodded simply. “Yes. Together. Why not?”
“More like why? Why would you do that with someone you just met?”
He mimicked your raised brow, but the smirk remained. “You bought me flowers, remember? We’re basically dating now.”
Huh? He was joking, right?
“Just kidding. But come on, think about it! It’ll be fun! Plus… do you know how to get around Seoul?”
Again, he had a point.
You bit your lower lip and scanned the room trying to avoid eye contact. It was then you noticed that the thing he was working on was the bouquet of flowers that you bought, stems cut and placed in a tall glass.
You smiled and finally nodded, “Okay.”
“Okay?” He looked at you with wide eyes, smirk growing into a smile, excited that you had agreed.
“Yea. Let’s do this.”
author's notes: if for whatever you want to be added to a taglist, let me know :)
taglist
@burningchaosdeer
#han jisung x reader#skz x reader#han jisung fanfic#han jisung#stray kids x reader#jisung fic#jisung fluff#skz fanfic#jisung smut#han jisung smut#han jisung series#jisung series
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haikyuu!! neurodivergent headcanons 💕
tw: several listed mental illnesses, some of these are solely off of vibes but most of them I have reasons lol
note! I do not believe autism is a mental illness or something that is "wrong" with an individual, hence why the title is "neurodivergent" rather than "mental illness". just had to put that out there! to all my neurodivergent babies I love you!
a/n: hello! as a neurodivergent like myself (depression, anxiety, ptsd, bulimia, etc etc) i thought it would be really cool to do an analysis on one of my biggest hobbies (psychological illnesses) and relate them to haikyuu characters! some of them have a deeper explanation because I feel so strongly about it.
attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD)
BOKUTO, hinata, NISHINOYA, atsumu, lev
generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)
sugawara, OIKAWA, asahi, yamaguchi, yachi, aone, akaashi, tendo
social anxiety disorder (SAD)
asahi, KENMA
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
oikawa
depression (MDD)
oikawa, KENMA, kuroo, suna, matsukawa, tendo
autism
sakusa, USHIJIMA, kageyama, kyotani, kenma
eating disorder(s) (AND, BND, BED)
OIKAWA, KENMA
obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
oikawa
borderline personality disorder (BPD)
daishou
insomnia
kuroo, kenma, osamu
hypersomnia
suna
analysis under the cut
it's pretty obvious that bokuto struggles the most to self-regulate, even to others, but I personally believe that oikawa struggles the most with his mental health.
like almost everyone in haikyuu, oikawa is obsessed with volleyball, but he takes it to a point of overexertion and taking his anger and frustration at his own inadequacies out on others.
I really think oikawa's relationship between he and kageyama and he and ushijima are the ones that show how bad his anxiety is
ushijima and kageyama both don't understand the emotions oikawa is feeling which could be written off as them not understanding their talents, but I think it's something more
to me, I feel it is blatantly obvious that ushijima is autistic. he just so frequently seems to be unable to read the emotions of others or takes things literally when it's something else intended. I'm not autistic, though, so autistic community, let me know your thoughts!
bokuto and hinata both have an insane amount of energy, but struggle to be successful in school. sports works for both of them because their focus is constantly needed to be diverted or "all over the place" that it helps them be great players
kuroo is one of those other characters that I feel like I'm reaching to say he has mental health struggles but to me it just comes off in vibes. first of all, any kid with divorced parents should be in therapy so I feel there's definitely some struggles there.
I think kuroo is the type that hides his struggles and pretends they aren't happening. he puts a lot of pressure on himself to be the best at everything he does, and so he feels he doesn't have time to deal with the emotions that leave him feeling empty
kenma was someone I immediately felt was autistic. he has so many key factors like an obsession/hyperfocus on his hobbies and trouble socializing (social anxiety).
kenma has some of the strongest evidence toward my beliefs, specifically in this quote: "I'm not good with people, and I don't want to interact with them. and yet, I'm very concerned about what others think of me." like, tell me that doesn't radiate autistic/SAD vibes!!!!
idk what it is, like inadequacies or what but I genuinely believe oikawa has some kind of trauma. like he's definitely carrying something that so heavily effected him that it controls the choices he makes in life
I don't have much evidence that suna has depression, it's just a vibe because of his mannerisms and what he says. I think it's the kind where it's well-managed, but it shows up in physical symptoms like apathy more than anything.
atsumu gives ADHD vibes solely because of like how all over the place he is and how he can't always seem to properly get out what he's trying to say lol
sakusa is one that to me could be seen as "done with your bullshit" but I think he also hates crowds (like me, I mean who doesn't) and struggles socially probably because of anxiety or autism. not sure!
basing daishou off of vibes, too, because if I'm being honest all I've seen in the show is him having hostile relationships or being on-off with them, though its certain I could be reading too much into it, but that's the fun of headcanons.
do you agree with what I wrote? I would love to hear your thoughts!
#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader#kuroo headcanons#haikyū!!#haikyuu headcanons#neurodiverse stuff#kenma x reader#fem!reader#kenma kozume x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#suna headcanons#suna x reader#suna rintaro fluff#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#atsumu miya x reader#osamu miya x reader#oikawa fluff#oikawa x reader#kageyama tobio x reader#hinata shoyo x reader#nishinoya yu x reader#ushijima wakatoshi x reader#tendo satori x reader#daishou x reader#bokuto kotaro x reader#kuroo x reader#yamaguchi tadashi x reader#akaashi keji x reader
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episode 5 thoughts!
heartbroken by no mat, but i was expecting it since min wasn't credited for this episode on imdb, and there was so much other amazing stuff going on, so i can cope. i do think they must be gearing up for a mat-heavy episode soon because his content has been so sparse thus far! we also didn't have lan this episode, which i'm good with since he got so much last week.
(minor imdb casting spoiler: ayoola isn't listed for ep6, so i'm guessing we may have no perrin next week. they definitely do have a lot of different groups to juggle! but IF mat & lan soon join the cairhien crew, we could condense things)
also sad at not much elayne, but again, the remaining episodes will probably be pretty big for her! same with egwene, that storyline didn't progress as fast as i'd thought it would in this episode, but OOF the preview for next week looks like A Lot!!
back to the beginning! falme looks SO COOL!!! and the opening scene with the seanchan was fantastic, it showed off so many different aspects of their culture in just a few minutes (namely their various Ceremonial Things and ideas of who's allowed to speak to whom)
lanfear just whispering "bitch" the second she revives killed me djkfjg what an icon. and we get confirmation that it is indeed the True Power that she used to revive herself.
Lanfear Unleashed is SO much fun oh my god, i love seeing her in full forsaken mode
moiraine telling rand that he can't sleep because lanfear will get him, girl don't tell him that he's going to internalize it and not sleep for the next 6 seasons. this season is really Wheel Of Time Origins: Rand's Various Emotional, Mental, and Physical Health Problems
elyas saying the ef5 aren't perrin's pack HOW DARE!!! i feel like they're making elyas even more standoffish/human-averse than he was in the books, which makes for an interesting dynamic and contributes to perrin's sense that his human & wolf sides can't coexist.
but hopper follows perrin!!!! the goodest boy!!!!!
AVIENDHA IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE'S EVERYTHING!!!!! although ngl her fake accent does sound a bit Fake to me lmao but i'm sure i'll get used to it after a few more scenes
hot dain bornhald is also here! he kinda compels me and i'm furious about it. if whitecloak why hot? in all seriousness, i can see already from his intro episode + the basics of his book story that he has the potential to be quite an interesting character if fleshed out more and given more screentime compared to what he had in the books, sort of a liandrin-and-alanna-like Main Secondary Whitecloak for us to follow
also he totally wants to fuck perrin you can't change my mind. buying him drinks and giving him a Cute Nickname, boy you ain't subtle! and then aviendha briefly hits on perrin later and also perrin stops her from killing dain. wake up babe, insane new WOT polycule just dropped djkfjfg
OB!!!! FREAKING!!!! SESSED!!!!!!!! with verin's detective subplot!!!! it is SO much fun, it delivers a ton of great exposition (namely about the black ajah), and it gives us a bigger peek into the brown ajah than the books ever did. i love this squad!! also katie leung was probably my first Girl Crush (not that i was aware of it) when i was like 8 so i was thrilled to see her show up here, god bless
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, IT GAVE US CONFIRMATION THAT GAWYN EXISTS IN SHOWVERSE!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH when i tell you i came extremely close both to screaming and to falling off my bed!!!! i'd been hoping for a gawyn namedrop all season but having it here was SO unexpected! my current theory is that he'll be introduced in caemlyn next season along with elaida and galad, and all 3 of them will head to tar valon to look for elayne because they're worried after not hearing from her for a long time.
also now i want a fic where the wondergirls actually do get special permission from mommy morgase to leave the tower just so that they can attend gawyn's birthday party
anyway, someday gawyn and egwene are going to kiss with tongue onscreen and haters can die mad about it <3 oooh now i have a brand-new meetcute for them to look forward to since they didn't meet at the tower!
liandrin & nynaeve's convo in the ways was so good! they continue to do amazing work with that relationship and liandrin's character. AND WHEN SHE SUBTLY FREED THE GIRLS RIGHT BEFORE LEAVING HOLY SHIT i gasped!!!!! the LAYERS they have given this character!!! because yes she serves the dark BUT she still feels loyalty to her sisters (as seen in s1 too when she appeared genuinely upset over kerene's death) and can't stomach the thought of any of them, even the light-serving ones, being collared!
suroth saying with her whole chest "oh sure you're a forsaken but you're not even of the blood soooooo" god grant me her confidence. also another great illustration of the insane heights to which seanchan high blood take their superiority complexes. good god, what's tuon gonna be like?!
avi's fight scene was just as amazing as i'd been hoping and expecting!! 10/10 no notes. can't wait to see what she can do when she has weapons at her disposal!
and later avi tells us that she is out in the wetlands Looking For Her Man (that she doesn't yet know is Her Man) <33
moiraine saying "get rand some nice new clothes" and barthanes immediately offering to dress him, Sugar Baby Rand lives on! also, anvaere and barthanes definitely thought rand was moiraine's sugar baby after they cleared the warder possibility, you can't change my mind
also also, barthanes is so surprisingly sweet! i wonder if he'll still be a darkfriend, or if anvaere will be instead
lanfear making ishy dream about caressing rand's face in bed is something i will go insane thinking about every day until i die. like oh my god i don't even know where to START with unpacking that, so i won't even try djfkjg
like for real, they ALL BUT made it explicitly canon that ishy had/has a crush on LTT/rand LMAO it's what we deserve
and we get forsaken namedrops! moghedien, graendal, and "the boys." it could be that semirhage did still make it and lanfear just chose not to go on and on listing every single one (slash the writers wanted to give themselves some leeway in specifically naming forsaken in case they don't get enough seasons to deal with all of them), or it could be that one of the statues from last season was actually a man and/or stepin's statues aren't accurate, and we've got 5 men instead of 4 (in which case i'd imagine ishy, asmodean, sammael, demandred, and rahvin)
i'm gonna have to watch this ishy & lanfear scene again to pick up more because i was FAR too distracted by the initial homoeroticism to keep focusing lmao
aww i'm kinda sad not to get elayne & nynaeve hiding out in falme completely on their own, but for their sakes it's nice they've found (been found by) some Real Adults to help!
LANFEAR'S OUTFIT IN THE END SCENE LMAO this season really just went off the WALLS with horniness and kinkiness, and i am here for it. it's what rj would've wanted
now that moiraine and rand are indeed staying in cairhien after all, i really think we might get a cauthor reunion next episode!!!! fingers crossed!!!!
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✦ WELCOME TO THE HOME OF VR-TV! ✦
HI! this is the vr-tv blog! second time im writing this since first time i wrote it tumblr just chucked the whole thing out the window. BUT THAT ASIDE welcome! :D
to clarify this isnt a narrative/interactive/arg blog but rather a dedicated blog for the vr-tv universe and just storing info, art, writings - whatever about it! yknow, for documentation's sake.
if you'd like to check out more of my work, my art blog is @y2kazoo . my main is @acnitemare if you wanna give me a follow there!
✦ THE BASICS ✦
(gonna keep this short and simple!)
TLDR: it's the 80's and a bunch of world-famous musicians across various genres have agreed to go on this experimental reality tv show hosted by a sentient AI named I. M. PEACEMOUTH. (he's up there waving & peeping over in the blog's icon!). the guy is formal and professional and a smooth talker, but clearly has shady intentions.
(to preface, this version of the 80's is way more technologically advanced than ours was, so in this timeline, around this time technical capacity for 3d virtual reality exists - albeit in a primitive form!)
the company that hosts this show is called CONGLOMOCORP and they're a massive enterprise with a big hold over a lot of markets but they've recently become pioneers in the field of music video production (think mtv type stuff).
they got the idea to make the 'ultimate music video', which is where we circle back to the musicians and the tv show thing.
you see, this 'ultimate music video' is actually a televised broadcast of a virtual reality simulation of this big, huge house thing that all the musicians live in for their time on the show - and the feed on it is always running (well, most of the time.)
in order to get on this show, all the musicians have had to go out to conglomocorp's studio and get put into a coma-like state; and from there, they were hooked up to these machines and their consciousnesses are the ones in the virtual reality. their avatars are shaped around the content of their souls, which is why a lot of the characters you'll see around here look kinda wacky and abstract!
conglomocorp sold the musicians on this idea by claiming that it was just going to be for 'about a year' and that their only intentions behind this project - named VR-TV - was that they just 'wanted to push the limits of technology to its fullest extent'. butttttt you know how it is with stories like this...
⚠️ WARNINGS ⚠️
a list of content warnings for things you might see on this blog! (just so you know, if this stuff ever pops up it will be tagged accordingly.) if more things come up that need to be added, i will put them on the list in due time.
✦ references to drug use
✦ unreality
✦ themes involving loss of agency
✦ body horror
✦ digital horror
✦ blood/gore
✦ mental manipulation & other people being manipulated
★ OTHER THINGS TO KNOW!!! ★
✦ i LOVE getting fanart for my projects! if you make any fanart for vr-tv, be sure to send it in!!! i would LOVE to see it!!!
➢ side-note: the easiest way to get me to see your fanworks is by submitting it directly to this very blog! i dont check my notifications very often so if you just mention this blog or post it in a main tag for it, chances are i won't know. BUT if you just submit your fanart here, that's a surefire way to get me to see it AND i can display your work for all to see!!! it's a win-win :D
✦ fancharacters for vr-tv aren't just accepted, they're encouraged! if you want to make a wacky little guy for this thing then be my guest!
➢ side-note: it bares clarification here that vr-tv isn't a collaborative project, it's just something i make on my own. you're welcome to make fancharacters BUT they won't be considered canon! (it's just too much work for me to include multiple people's fan lore in with my own for this project, sorry!) you can still by all means draw canon characters hanging out or even draw oc x canon if you really like, but don't do so with the expectations of them being canonized if that makes sense! like with fanart, i encourage you to submit fancharacters here directly in the case that you make them!
✦ do NOT create nsfw content of vr-tv characters!!! that's just crossing a line that i am not comfortable seeing my characters depicted in. please dont :c
✦ ASKS ARE HEAVILY WELCOMED!!!!!!!!!!! if you send me an ask about this thing i will do everything in my power to answer it to the best of my ability. you can ask me anything about this thing, what certain character's favorite foods are, how the VR-TV virutal reality works (but keep in mind i am bad at describing technology things lol), your headcanons/theories, questions about the lore or character's motivations.... PLEASE ask me any of those and so much more! i will be glad to divulge information to you!
✦ in the case that you want to make ship art between two characters, please reach out to me thru the ask box beforehand to get my approval before you start making anything. i wouldn't want you to draw something i don't approve of especially between certain characters, my characters are precious to me and im admittedly very finicky about how my characters get depicted. (and me giving approval isn't a sign that the relationship will become canon, it's just a signifier that im okay with seeing content of those two characters in that sort of relationship. just thought that was worth adding!)
so yeah - that should cover all the bases!
enjoy your time here!!! buh bye!!!! hope to see you around soon! 👋 ★
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Main Masterlist ♡ AEW Masterlist ♡ Miscellaneous Wrestler Masterlist
Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.
Photos do not belong to me.
Warnings: none
Request by: @brideofinfamy. Hope you like it.
WC: 1374
"Hey, baby sis." I looked up at the sound of my older brother's booming voice and smiled as he pulled me in for a hug, which I returned.
"Hello, Eddie. I didn't see you on my list." I mentally went through the list of people I memorised of who I had to do.
"Can't I just see my favourite sibling?" My eyes narrowed him, wondering what he wants. "No, what do you want?"
"My cigarettes." I scoffed at him and shook my head no.
"Nope. You asked me to hold on to them so you don't smoke them. I flushed them down the toilet."
Cue, the silly argument that had anyone who passed the room, looked in and saw us arguing.
"Umm, sorry to interrupt, but I gotta get ready." Eddie and I looked at the sound of the new voice, and I smiled when I saw who it was.
"No interruption, Colten. Eddie was just leaving. Weren't you Eddie?"
"Yes. See you later, Colten, baby sis."
I breathed a sigh of relief when my brother finally left the room. "Should I even ask what that was about this time?" Colten asked as he sat in the chair.
"He wants to quit smoking. So he gave me his cigarettes to hold on to, but I flushed them." I told him as I got to work on his hair.
"And you didn't think that he wouldn't want them back?" Colten asked me as I started to work on his hair. I pulled his hair back just enough for him to feel it, and I looked down into his eyes, and I almost forgot what the hell I was even going to say, but it came back to me.
"Of course I did, Mr. Sopp, but I want him to stick around for a long time. So that is why I flushed them." Our faces were close, and I could see him looking at my lips until he cleared his throat and muttered his apologies.
I let go of his hair and stood in front of him to work on the front, and I could feel his eyes boring into me, but I didn't say anything, just focusing on trying to get his hair done.
Ever since I started here, Colten and I have slowly become best friends. It first started off with him flirting with me, but most of the guys did, but his idea of flirting wasn't like the usual ones.
No, no. He used a line on me that I had never heard of, and it still sicks out in my mind all these weeks later.
"Your eyes are like IKEA. I could get lost in them for hours."
I sadly broke out into a fit of laughter, but so did he, and he seemed to break the ice between us, and we have been almost inseparable ever since.
"So which line do you have for me today, Colten?" I leaned against my little makeup desk and waited for him to give me his best cheesy line.
"Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?"
I covered my mouth as I let out a snort.
"Oh lord, that is cheesy."
"Well, I am wrong, aren't I? Don't I deserve a kiss." He puckered his lips and blew a kiss at me. I gripped his chin and turned his head, and kissed his cheek, letting my lips linger on his skin just a tad longer than I should.
I cleared my throat and took a step to the side to let him up stand up.
"We still on for dinner tonight?" He asked me.
"Of course. Just let me know where and I will be there."
◆
Weeks turned into months, and a day doesn't go by where Colten and I aren't attached at the hip. People have asked if we are dating, but I always say we are just friends, best friends, to be exact.
Even my darling older brother was on my case. He was sitting in my chair, looking at me as I got set up for the day.
"Are you sure there is nothing going on between you and Colten?"
"Eddie, for the thousandth time, Colten and I are just friends." I felt a pang in my heart when I said that.
"The way how you two look at each other, you would think that there is something more."
"Well, there isn't."
COLTEN GUNN'S POV:
I was sitting in her chair as she did her magic with my hair. I know my hair takes a bit with how curly it is, but she never complains and doesn't seem to hurt me when she brushes my hair.
"So I was scrolling through your Instagram the other day, and I went back years." I groaned when she said that to me. But I have done the same thing to her as well.
"I found this photo." Before I knew it, I was staring at myself from a few years ago.
"And?" I was clearly confused.
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"Why don't you wear your hair like this anymore?"
Honestly? I don't know why, but before I knew it, my big mouth was speaking without even a single thought from my brain.
"Because, now there is more than enough for a woman to grip."
The air seemed to thicken as she lowered her phone, and I saw her gulp and looked away.
"You coming to the party tonight?" I asked her, trying to ease the tension.
"I don't think so. I may just go to my hotel room and sleep."
"Come with me. I know you don't like parties, but I want you to be my plus one." I didn't have a plus one. Anyone could come.
"I'll let you know, Colten."
◆
I was more than surprised to see that she said to pick her up from her hotel room. The moment she opened the door, my mouth went dry.
She always looks good to me, no matter what she wares, but right now, fuck. Her done, makeup done, in a dress that is showing off her curves.
I cleared my throat and held my arm out. "Your chariot awaits, my lady." I could feel my face heating up when she placed her hand on my arm.
◆
The party was in full swing, and the guys were like vultures when it came to her. The minute I went to get us drinks, they surrounded her, so I am standing off to the side as I watched everyone flirt with her.
"You gonna lose her, Colten." I looked over to see Eddie standing there.
"Eddie, not this again."
"Look at her. She is looking for you." I did look at her, and he is right. "Go to her. You're the only one I approve of out of this godforsaken lockeroom."
He and I both knew I didn't need his approval, that she could make her own choices, but him saying that had me making my way through the crowd, standing behind her and tapping her shoulder.
She turned around, smiling once she saw it was me.
I grabbed her hand and turned, walking to somewhere we could talk in private, but she pulled her hand back, not letting go of mine, but to stop me from walking. I stopped and looked at her, raising one eyebrow at her.
She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her flushed against my body, ready to say those simple words. The ones I have been dying to say for months.
"I like you Colten." "I like you." We both said at the same time.
Neither one of us caring at that moment that we were surrounded by a bunch of friends, family and strangers as I leaned down and kissed her, properly for the first time.
We were so wrapped up in one another, that I forgot we were at a party. That was until someone told us to get room.
We broke out kiss, and we started to dance. All the guys who flirted with her all night left her alone.
It was just the two of us, happy and in our own little world for the rest of the night.
#aew#all elite wrestling#reader imagine#female reader#reader insert#Colten gunn imagine#colten gunn fic#colten gunn fanfic#colten gunn fluff#colten gunn x f/Reader#colten gunn x female reader#colten gunn x you#colten gunn x y/u#colten gunn
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Hello! I think you had a post about this before but I can't find it. Not really sure though. I have this probelm with picking ideas? When I work on a story I usually explore many different ideas for the plot but find myself stuck in choosing one. I quickly grow bored of what I came up with and start creating more... in the end I have too much, and can't decide what fits my story best. Then I procrastinate because I have too many notes to process and get overwhelmed...
Overwhelmed After Story Evolves Too Many Plots
Stories shouldn't naturally evolve through several different plots. If that's happening, there's probably one of the following goin on:
1 - You don't have a good grasp on how stories work. Stories aren't a random exploration of things happening. Stories are a cohesive sequence of related events through which the main characters react to and often resolve a conflict. That conflict may be internal (within the characters), external (within the characters' world), or both. The particular events and sequence of events in your story (story structure) depends on the type of story you're writing. Most stories (longer fiction in particular) follow basic story structure:
If your stories often evolve through multiple plots, it's because you didn't have a clear and solid conflict to begin with, or you didn't know how to explore your conflict effectively (via story structure) and you burned through it too fast. (See: Plot & Story Structure master list)
2 - You don't know why you're writing the story. There's always a reason we start writing a story in the first place. Nine out of ten times it's because we're hit with an idea and are inspired to follow it. But, believe it or not, most of the time there needs to be a greater purpose there. If you have a cohesive conflict and well developed plot, your story has a purpose in terms of what the characters get out of it. But what about what the reader gets out of it? Do you just want them to have a rip-roaring good time? Do you want them to feel like they've been sucked into the mystery with your investigator protagonist? Do you want them to feel less alone as someone whose experienced the same thing as your protagonist? Do you want them to feel seen or represented? Do you want them to walk away with some deep meaning or moral lesson? And what about you? What do you get out of this story as a writer? Are you writing it to explore an aspect of life, society, or a particular dynamic that is fascinating to you? Are you hoping of catharsis as you do a deep dive into an experience you yourself have lived through? Are you hoping to deliver a moral message that you feel is important to spread? Knowing not just what your characters get out of the story, but what your reader and yourself as the writer get out of the story is an important part of staying on track and staying motivated.
3 - You're chasing waterfalls, so-to-speak... meaning that rather than staying on track, you're leaving the plotted course in pursuit of prettier, more exciting things. Most of the time when this happens, it's because you're giving into the dopamine rush you feel when a new idea strikes.
Now, ideally you would write the idea down someplace safe, put it out of your mind, and put your focus back on your story. We do this every single day in life, because if we didn't, we couldn't go to school, have jobs, date, have social lives, raise children or animals... being a responsible human requires us to choose to do the thing we need to do rather than chase the sparkly fun things. If you have to leave for class in ten minutes but your favorite movie just started on TV, you have to make the choice to turn off the TV and go to class. You choose to stay on course rather than go off-track and do the fun thing.
However, many of us have a difficult time with these types of decisions for various reasons, such as neurodivergence, chronic illness, depression, mental illness, stress, and exhaustion. So, it's not always easy to make that choice, even when it just means taking the new and exciting idea and writing it down for later. One thing you can do in that case, though, is leave yourself a note in the current story about where you're headed next. What's the next moment, scene, or event you're going to write? Then, save it and set it aside and follow the new idea for a little bit by starting a new story. That way, you're not grafting this idea onto a story that already has its course plotted.
4. You need to be a "plotter". If you start out with a solid plot and story structure, you know what you want to get out of the story, and you're not letting yourself chase waterfalls, but you STILL can't keep your story to one plot, this is a pretty good sign that you need to be a "plotter." Now, there tends to be a little controversy over the whole "plotter" vs "pantser" thing, and that's mainly because everyone things their way is best and often forget there's actually a whole spectrum between plotting and pantsing. Either way, they're both a real thing, because some writers need to intricately plot their story down to timeline, scene list, glossaries, and bios, while others can just "write by the seat of their pants" and let the story develop as they right. Then, of course, there are writers who fall every which way in-between.
Some writers are inherently plotters or need some level of plotting in order to execute a story from beginning to end. Some can write with little to no planning at all. For some writers it depends on their phase of life or what they're specifically writing. But, if you find that your stories are always going off-track even if they're solid in your mind, you may need to do some solid plotting. Start by having a beginning to end written summary of the story and see if that's enough to keep you on track. If not, next time try the summary as well as a timeline of events. If that doesn't work, try the summary and timeline plus a scene list. And just keep adding things until you find the right amount of planning to keep you on track with your original idea.
Happy writing! I hope something here works for you!
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