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#was it necessary to shatter my heart like this
play-rough · 2 days
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Hello there!
I’m not really sure how to start this, but I’ve been in a bit of a sad mood. A few days ago, some drunk scumbags cursed me out in the street because I’m a practicing Muslim. So, I’ve just been sad; so to cheer myself up I’ve been thinking about the baby Otter. And, if it’s okay, I wanted to share some of my thoughts.
So, this one is a little sad, but I hope this is okay.
I can imagine Dazai forcibly regressing while he’s in hiding, because he’s just so sad and going through withdrawal of his suppressants. He’s curled up into a ball on a cheap motel mattress, hugging his knees to avoid having more body parts than necessary touch the scratchy sheets. His nose is red, fresh tears paint his face, and there’s dried snot everywhere. He’s hugging a bunched up towel, and trying to pretend it’s Fishie giving him a hug.
He needs Chuuya so badly; but Dazai is bad. He left without saying Bye-bye, and that wasn’t kind. He knew Chibi hated when he just left without a word. He’s a bad baby.
He doesn’t deserve to be Chibi’s baby.
Without thinking, he subconsciously dials Chibi’s number off of his most recent burner phone. He just listens to the phone ringing, and starts to drift off; but, then he hears it.
“Hello,” the sound of his Chibi’s voice wakes him from his trance. He rises up, and shouts out a greeting.
“This is Nakahara Chuuya, I’m unable to take your call, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” With that, Dazai breaks down into sobs. Chibi always answered his calls, but Dazai should’ve known better. He’s not Chibi’s baby anymore. He left, and Chuuya hates him.
He sobs out apology after apology, begging Chuuya to understand why he left, and to please forgive him. Eventually, he reaches a limit to how long of a message he can leave, and Dazai drifts off into a painful slumber. When he wakes up, he doesn’t remember much of the night before. He bleaches the motel room, leaves through a window, and chucks his burner phone into a random trash can.
Unbeknownst to him, as he sits on the subway taking him away from Kobe. A very hungover Chuuya wakes up, who stayed out way to late drinking with a new recruit named Tachihara. As he slowly wakes up, and absently drinks a coffee, he checks his phone. Nothing really stands out, except for a voicemail from an unknown number. Chuuya usually just deletes those without listening, but he felt a tug to listen to it anyway.
“Ch-ib-i, it’s me,” even though it had been a year, and the voice is sob filled, Chuuya would always recognize his Baby’s voice.
Chuuya’s heart shatters as he listens to Dazai self deprecate, as he says sorry for not saying Bye-bye to Chibi and Fishie. Calling himself a bad baby, but he was trying to be good. Saying he promised Oda he would be good, and that’s why he had to leave. He sobbed and sobbed, and said how much he missed Chuu and Fishie.
Dazai’s voice his cut off as the voicemail limit has been reached. Chuuya immediately tries calling Dazai back, but the lines been disconnected. Anger fills him, as he chucks his coffee against the wall using tainted. Arahabaki is screaming in his head, that Chuuya must kill those who made their Baby cry.
Chuuya had failed. His Baby had needed him, and Chuuya didn’t pick up the call. He had spent a year thinking that Dazai didn’t want him anymore, and he felt like such an idiot for believing that. Well, no more. Chuuya was going to find his Baby no matter what. He wouldn’t fail again.
Um, I didn’t mean to basically write a whole one shot, and I’m sorry if I’m being a bother. You’re series just brings me so much joy.
I hope you’re having a wonderful day,
-Rosie 🌹
Rosie I am so sorry that happened to you 🩷 thank you so much for sharing this, it was delightful and deliciously angsty 🥺 i hope your day gets better, you’re beautiful and kind and important and people care about you 🩷🩷 fuck those drunk losers
Again this is so beautiful and I really appreciate you sending it my way 🩷
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julili · 2 years
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“goodbye, my queen”
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helen-with-an-a · 17 days
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Out of Position
Hi. So, I'm not really sure I like this but hey-ho. I'm trying to write my masters dissertation so fics may be few and far between loll but I wanted to write something. Anyway, hope you enjoy.
Lucy Bronze x reader
Description: R has to play out of position for Barça
Word Count: 1.5k
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The season had been … tough, to say the least.
The start of the season was great, you were playing your favourite 6 or 8 positions. You were happy there – you were racking up assists, you had your name on score sheets more regularly. Things were really looking good for you. You were in the Starting XI regularly, slowly increasing the minutes to full matches every week. Your national team coaches had noticed your efforts to, soon earning that number 8 shirt at international level. Things were looking really, really good.
And then Mapi got injured. That was a blow to the team, no doubt. Her infectious energy was sorely missed during trainings, her technical prowess and defensive knowhow that were so integral to the team was difficult to replicate. But everyone was managing incredibly well. Slowly but surely, you were being played further away from where you were comfortable. And then Alexia was out again too. Another massive knock. Not just for the team, seeing the Captain out of commission was hard on everyone, but for you in particular. You were slowly being played further back on the pitch than you were entirely comfortable with. You weren’t a defender. You did your part, when necessary, but you weren’t a defender. You were never fully happy making those harsh tackles and committing essential fouls. Your main form of defence came from interceptions – your speed was something to be noted by all commentators. You were always the first onto a wayward ball. It was something you prided yourself on. It was something the whole team prided themselves on, none-so more than Lucy.
You didn’t know how it happened really, but by the away El Clásico, your picture was being displayed on screen in the no. 5 position. Who would have thought you would end up playing against Real Madrid as a centre-back? Especially when considering you started the season as an attacking midfield and borderline striker?
“I can’t do this.” You were full on panicking in the changing rooms. Your hands were gripping the bench so tightly your knuckles were turning white; your wide frantic eyes flittered nervously around the room; your skin was cold and clammy, your breathing erratic. You were on the verge of a panic attack.
“Sí, puedes, chica.” Patri soothed, running her hand in wide comforting circles along the length of your back. You had been fine during training, and most of the warmup but you had seen Moller Hansen give you, what you interpreted to be, a menacing glare, and something had snapped in you. “Amiga, you need to breathe” Patri reminded you, exaggerating her own breathing to try and prompt yours. It wasn’t working. Marta and Irene were with you, both looking on with some concern. “Ves a buscar la Lucy.” Patri ordered one of them, not taking her eyes off you. You had moved one hand from the bench to your thigh, your nails pressing harshly into the muscles, dragging unforgiving lines up and down.
Not 30 seconds after the door swung shut behind Marta, a very concerned Lucy appeared by your side, worry etched on her face.
“Can’t … do it,” you struggled to get the words out. Lucy’s heart shattered at your words. She had seen the hours you had put in, the number of dates you had rain checked to stay late with the defensive coaches, the frequent mornings when she had woken up, alone with your side of the bed cold with a note on your pillow telling her that coffee was in the machine, she just needed to press start and that you’d see her at training. If she didn’t know where you were, she would be concerned you were cheating on her. But no, you were in the gym at the crack of dawn, strengthening your muscles and pushing yourself to go beyond your previous limits. She was exhausted just looking at the work you were doing. But it wasn’t in vain. You looked so natural in the back line; anyone that didn’t know you would think you were comfortable. But no one saw these moments and sheer and raw terror that coursed through your veins moments before you stepped out of the changing rooms.
“You can, pretty girl. I promise you; you can do it.” Lucy said, gently crushing you to her chest. She was sad to admit that this was a common occurrence.
“Scared,” you croaked out. “let the team down.”
“No, my love, you will never let us down. I promise. You can never, ever let anyone down.” She cooed, her fingers dipping under your shirt to run her nails over your bare back. She pulled back after a few moments, waiting until your breathing evened out a little bit – her comforting smell washing over you and soothing your body more than any words could do. She cupped your face, gently running her thumb across your cheek. “I love you, so, so much. There are 10 other girls on that pitch, all of them believe in you. You wouldn’t be out there if the club didn’t think you could do this.” She said her words with such conviction. You took a deep breath and nodded – not believing her words, but the noise outside the changing room was growing louder, signalling that both teams were ready to go. You were still incredibly nervous, but you did have a job to do after all. You both left the changing room hand-in-hand, taking your customary places at the back of the line.
“Look at me, pretty girl.” She whispered in your ear as she caught you staring off into the distance. You turned to look at her, a slightly guilty look on your face as your bite your lip harshly. “I love you,” she said emphatically.
“I love you,” you said softly back, not as nervous as you were before, but definitely not good.
It was a tough match. Real Madrid had really stepped up their game since the last time you were out. It was a 1 – 1 all draw that was growing more precarious every minute. You had just 10 minutes left of the match and both sides were determined to break the stalemate.
 Madrid were on the attack, having been able to pick out weaknesses in Barça’s defence. Lucy had drifted too far from her position, letting Carmona utilise the space by making a speedy break for it. You were the furthest back in your team’s line up. Your muscles were aching, your face was red with effort, yet you had to win this ball back. You couldn’t let Cata take on Carmona and Caicedo all by herself. You ran. Hell, you practically flew down that flank, pushing yourself harder and faster than you ideally wanted to.
You knew exactly what Olga was going to do before she did it. Maybe it was your experience up front? Maybe it was all the hours you had spent reviewing footage of various players you would face in the league? But you abandoned your chase on Carmona, changing your momentum to catch up to Caicedo just at the right time. Cata had drifted to the right in anticipation of Olga’s strike, but you knew she wouldn’t attempt the shot – not when Caicedo was sitting wide open with a goalkeeper-less net in front of her. You threw your body into the header – it was easily the harshest one you had given all season – possibly your whole career. Your technique was perfect though as you caught only the ball, using your momentum to bounce the ball away from the goal before bouncing painfully on the ground. You quickly rushed to your feet, watching Cata take advantage of a very confused Caicedo and a disappointed Carmona to chase the ball and boot it out into the stands.
There was a moment of quiet – at least it was quiet for you – before the world came back into focus. Your heartbeat was in your ears, your chest rising and falling dramatically as you sucked in precious oxygen. Cata was the first to get her hands to you. She shook your shoulders almost violently, your head wobbled comically at the action.
“Tu nena preciosa,” she shouted, kisses raining down on your forehead. You felt head pats and light taps on your back as you made your way back into your position.
Finally, the full whistle went. Barça had won El Clásico yet again (although it was tougher than anyone cared to admit)
“You …” Lucy said as her warm arms wrapped you in a hug. “That was the best defending I have ever seen.” She smiled, clearly wanted to say and do more.
“I learned it from you,” you whispered as you squeezed back. “The flying header. A Lucy Bronze special,” you teased.
“And you said you couldn’t defend.” She scoffed. “I’m so proud of you.” She said, pressing kisses into your sweaty hairline. You blushed profusely but smiled, nonetheless. That was all you really wanted, to make Lucy proud. “I think this calls for a treat, don’t you?” She whispered seductively into your ear as she dragged you into the changing rooms, a sly smirk dancing on her lips.
Hope you enjoyed reading <3<3<3<3
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m00nsbaby · 9 months
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AITA for texting my fiancé that "this isn't working"?
Steven Grant x reader.
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Tags & warnings. None. Yes, this literally is just a silly little thing that I read on reddit and I thought it was so funny lol. Reader is gender neutral!
Word count. 823.
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Moving in with Steven was one of the best decisions you could make in your life, right after saying 'yes' when he proposed.
The only inconvenience came at a precise time between morning and afternoon, sometimes even at night, all depending on the mood of his boss. Waiting for Steven to return from work was such a headache, boring hours and dead time as you tried to find your own job.
The upside was that you now had complete freedom to organize his apartment to your liking, and if anything needed a complete makeover, it was Steven Grant's dark and disorganized home.
You had just made a completely necessary expense, a gigantic mirror that was clearly bigger than your capabilities. Worse yet, considering that if there was something you despised with all your heart, it was the mere idea of reading an instruction manual.
When the mirror arrived, the Amazon delivery guy mocked you to your face for your difficulty in handling the box and getting it into the house.
You: Baby, the new mirror just came in!
You hit send after the message.
You: I’m going to try to put it together but I may need your help later.
And just as you said, you got to work with the phone by your side, waiting for a response from Steven.
You assumed Donna was in a terrible mood because at least two hours went by without a reply, although you were really too busy to worry about that.
For a moment, you insisted on the idea of finishing assembling the darn mirror before Steven arrived home, but that clearly didn't happen because for the two and a half hours of effort you put in, you didn't feel like you were really getting anywhere.
Plus, you had extra screws that shouldn't have been left over.
You: This isn’t working and at this point, I think I need to just give up.
You put the phone aside and lazily lay down on the carpet. Why was assembling furniture so hard? Although not as difficult as having to accept that you couldn't finish it on your own.
You stayed there not knowing how long, but you estimated it was a few hours because you heard the front door indicating that Steven was home. The smile lasted only a short while because as you straightened up to greet him, he walked past you without even looking at you, heading straight to the bedroom.
"Steven?" you questioned, slightly furrowing your brow. You stood up slowly, giving him time to exit the room.
When you finally confronted him, your heart almost jumped out of your chest. His eyes were red, completely filled with tears.
"What happened, baby?"
"Why?" he asked, his voice breaking. It shattered your heart into pieces.
"Why what, Steven?" He sniffled, and you searched his gaze when he started avoiding you.
"Why are you giving up on me?"
You nearly killed him right then and there.
"What are you talking about?"
He didn't take long to pull his phone out of his pocket and shake it a bit in front of your face; he was on the verge of sobbing.
"Y-Your messages, you were breaking up with me."
The moment Steven mentioned your text messages, you had to press your lips together to keep from laughing in his face.
Your expression almost made him cry harder. Were you making fun of him?
"Steven." Your voice came out in a playful tone as you almost burst into laughter. "I was talking about the mirror."
"Huh? What mirror?"
"The new mirror, it arrived." Your eyes were almost watering from holding back laughter. "I'm guessing that the previous messages didn't send; I was talking about not being able to assemble it on my own."
You stepped aside to let him see the mess you had made on the floor, with the mirror halfway assembled.
Steven exchanged glances between the things and you.
He looked at the things.
He looked at you.
He looked at the things.
He looked at you.
Realization hit in seconds, and you couldn't say anything more when you felt Steven's arms squeezing you against his chest. You couldn't stop laughing even though your laughter sounded odd, muffled by the fabric of his shirt.
"Bloody fucking hell, love!" Steven cursing was definitely a special event. It only made you laugh harder. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"
He lifted you off the ground, and tears were already streaming down your face. It took much longer than expected to calm down from the laughter.
Still breathless, you let him kiss your face, as well as embrace you with his strong arms that refused to let you go.
"Still, I need you to check the mirror." You took a deep breath, your cheeks already reddened, one of your hands held onto him, and the other wiped the corners of your eyes. "I think I damaged it."
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pricesbeltbuckle · 3 months
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Can I request the 141 boys with a shy reader who gets to talking about their hobbies or whatever, really starts opening up, only to get self conscious and say something like, “sorry I talked so much.”
Shy - TF141
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Pairing: TF141 x GN!Shy Reader
Warnings: None, Fluff, Hurt-comfort
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John Price:
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So what has Price noticed while dating you? You ever so rarely speak more than a couple of sentences. 
And oh god when he would introduce you to people you’d shy behind him like a child, he never understood why.
So when you started to talk more about a certain hobby you liked he was ecstatic. It was just you and him, at home in bed watching a movie but not really paying attention.
Then something in the movie caught your eye and reminded you of something from your childhood, your eyes lit up as you began to start rambling on and on.
“Yeah so I used to-” “Hm? What’s the matter, why'd you stop?” John looked confused, he was genuinely interested in what you were saying, “Sorry, I talked too much.”
His heart melted, he was so upset hearing those words. He didn’t know whoever told you that you talk too much but he never felt more enraged in his whole life. “No sweetheart you never talk too much, I could listen to you talk for hours and hours keep talking I wanted to hear the rest.” He saw you smile as you kept talking, he truly did love you.
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Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick:
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He’s always encouraging you to talk more, he adores your voice and also he can’t really tell your emotions when you’re just quiet so it scares him.
He always loved when you spoke even if it was only a couple of sentences or words here and there, and when he introduced you to his mates and you kinda hid behind him he chuckled a bit.
But when you guys went out to go watch the sunset and you started to ramble a bit, he was so excited but he tried to stay calm so as to not interrupt you.
“Honestly it was one of my favorite-” “You okay? I was listening.” Kyle looked at you a little worried but upset because he wanted you to keep talking, keep rambling about nonsense forever.
“No sorry I talked way too much.” Kyle’s heart shattered and he had to keep it together as he wrapped an arm around the small of your back. “No baby keep going, I wanted to hear the rest I love when you talk.” He saw your eyes light up as you kept talking and he listened to every word.
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John 'Soap' Mactavish:
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We all know that man is a talker, like you can’t get him to shut up. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to listen to you talk. In Fact whenever you begin to speak he automatically shuts up.
When he introduced you to his friends and even family you were a nervous wreck and hid behind his back. He explains to everyone you’re just shy and holds your hand for comfort.
But there has never been a thing in the world he’s wanted more than for you to just talk about something, anything. 
So when you started to ramble to him before going to sleep in your shared bed, he immediately woke up and listened intently.
“Yeah and that's-” “Keep going, what happened next?” he was so bummed when you stopped talking, you left him on a cliffhanger :(!
“No it’s okay I talked way too much.” Soap frowned, “No lass, you never talk way too much. I love hearing your voice, please keep going?” And then he got excited when you kept speaking. He listened until you got so tired you fell asleep.
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Simon 'Ghost' Riley:
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This man is so quiet, but not in a shy way. He just doesn’t think talking is necessary. So he kind of expected you to do all the talking. But then he realized how shy you were and started talking more so you weren't uncomfortable
When he introduced you to people and you hid behind the boulder of a man, he acted like a bodyguard. “They're shy, give‘em a bit.”
But when you guys are alone and you’re watching him cook dinner and you have the urge to just talk, he’ll listen like a goddamn dog. Sometimes even chuckling at things you say or adding commentary.
But then when you cut yourself off, “I know right! But then-” He didn’t even give you the chance to say “I was talking too much.” Because he was so quick to respond.
“Keep talking Lovie, what happened? I love when you talk, please keep going.” And you smiled to yourself as you continued on with what you were saying, he truly loved every single word you spoke.  
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thef1diary · 17 days
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hiii could u write a danny or carlos fic based on mess it up by gracie abrams? maybe smtg angsty w happy ending ??
Self Sabotage | D. Ricciardo
Summary: you leave Daniel because things are going too well, but you realize it's the worst decision you've ever made.
© thef1diary 2024. all rights reserved. Do not copy, steal, translate, or repost any of my work.
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Warnings: angst, insecurity (on reader's end), negative thoughts, allusion to childhood trauma, mention of failed past relationships, lil bit of fluff/comfort.
wc: 2.2k
You were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Things had been well between you and Daniel, in fact it was going too well that it worried you.
You believed that there would be a day where Daniel would show his true colours; prove that every promise, every gesture of love he made was nothing but a lie.
That day never came. He loved you endlessly, showering you in gifts and affirmations which only deepened your fear.
Opened two double doors
Despite Daniel's unwavering love and sincerity, you couldn't shake the feeling that you didn't deserve such happiness. Deep-seated insecurities gnawed at you, whispering that it was only a matter of time before you ruined everything.
Unable to bear the weight of your own self-doubt, you made the painful decision to push Daniel away before he could discover the flaws you believed defined you.
Typical, pretty sure I could grow up
With a heavy heart, you packed your belongings in silence, the weight of your decision pressing down on you with each item you carefully placed in boxes. As you moved through the rooms of your shared home, memories flooded your mind, each corner holding echoes of laughter, whispered promises, and tender moments shared with Daniel. The emptiness of the space around you mirrored the ache in your chest as you realized what you were about to leave behind.
With Daniel away, you found solace in the solitude of your departure, sparing both of you the agony of a tearful goodbye. Each item packed was a step closer to severing the ties that bound you together, a painful but necessary act of self-preservation.
Probably chemical
As you closed the door behind you for the last time, the weight of your decision settled over you like a shroud, leaving behind a home that once held the promise of a future you were no longer sure you deserved.
Driving away from the home you once shared with Daniel, tears blurred your vision as you navigated the familiar streets, each turn carrying you further from the life you had built together. The radio played softly in the background, a bittersweet soundtrack to your departure, as memories of happier times intertwined with the ache of loss.
I took up walking to turn it all off
Despite the pain, a small voice inside whispered that you were doing the right thing, that by leaving, you were sparing Daniel the burden of loving someone who couldn't love themselves. Yet, even as you tried to convince yourself that this was for the best, doubt crept in, casting shadows of regret over your decision.
You grip the steering wheel tightly, your knuckles turning white as you navigate the familiar streets. Glancing at the passenger seat, you see a photo of you and your boyfriend, smiling blissfully. It feels like a mockery now, a reminder of what you shattered.
Doesn't feel bearable
With a huff, you turned it over so you don't see his handsome smile staring back at you that always led you right into his arms, his laugh that was contagious enough to make you laugh as well.
You couldn't stop thinking about him or all the reasons you fell in love with him. He was perfect and unfortunately you didn't believe that you were enough for him.
Guess I thought when I left it would all stop
Opening the window, you let the breeze gather your thoughts and whisk them all away, both negative and positive. All you knew was that you had to leave him because it was good for him. He could find someone better than you, much better.
Your phone buzzes, his name flashing on the screen. You hesitate before answering, your heart pounding in your chest.
"Hey," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.
Hmm, it would all stop
"Hey, babe! What are you up to?" His voice is filled with warmth, but you can't shake the guilt building inside you.
"Nothing, just hanging about, you know how it is without you," you reply, forcing a smile you know he can't see.
"You sound a bit off. Is everything okay?" Concern colors his words.
When I told you "I'm fine", you were lied to
"Yeah, everything's fine. Just tired from the day, I guess," you lie, the weight of your deceit heavy on your chest.
"Okay, well, I miss you. I can't wait to get back to you," he says, his longing evident in his voice.
"I miss you too," you reply, feeling the sting of your betrayal with every word. You did truly miss him and you know that you would miss him even more as time would go on.
How could I think that all that I gave you was enough?
As you hang up the phone, you're consumed by guilt. You know what you're doing is wrong, but you can't stop now.
You continue driving, the weight of your decision bearing down on you with each passing mile. The road stretches endlessly ahead, mirroring the uncertainty gnawing at your conscience.
'Cause every time I get too close, I just go mess it up
Daniel's words echo in your mind, his longing for you palpable even through the phone. You can't shake the image of his face, filled with love and trust, oblivious to the lie you've just told him.
Even with the music and open windows, the car still becomes suffocating. You steal another glance at the photo frame you flipped over on the passenger seat, your heart twisting with guilt.
Funny that didn't work
A sudden urge to turn back grips you, but you push it aside. It's too late now, you tell yourself. You've made your choice.
Half an hour passes, the landscape blurring into a haze of regret and doubt. Your mind races with what-ifs and maybes, each one a dagger to your already wounded conscience and heart.
Suddenly, your phone rings again, jolting you out of your thoughts. Daniel's name flashes on the screen, but this time you don't pick up his call.
I could be anywhere, I'm on your block
"I'm sorry, Daniel," you whisper, turning off your phone so you don't see another call or text from him.
A wave of sadness washes over you, mingled with a tinge of guilt. Despite knowing deep down that leaving Daniel was the right decision for both of you, it doesn't make the pain any easier to bear.
Cynical, terrible
You take a deep breath, trying to steady your trembling hands as you focus on the road ahead. Each mile feels like an eternity, the weight of your decision heavy on your heart.
Memories of your time with Daniel flood your mind – the laughter, the shared dreams, the moments of pure joy that you thought would last forever. But somewhere along the way, the cracks began to form, the doubts and insecurities creeping in your mind until it threatened to consume you both.
Kicking myself with my gut in a knot
As you drive further and further away from him, you can't help but wonder if you've made a mistake. What if you're throwing away the best thing that ever happened to you? What if you'll never find someone who understands you the way Daniel did?
But then you remember the tears you shed, the sleepless nights spent without him, agonizing over whether to stay or go. You remember the feeling of suffocation, of being trapped in a relationship that was slowly suffocating you purely because you never felt such love before. Instead of accepting it, or at least telling him about it, you chose to endure it until it became unbearable.
'Cause I heard that you're happier
Perhaps you couldn't find someone better than Daniel, he was truly one of the best ones. But that thought didn't deter you away from your decision because you were the one always causing problems, always letting your own thoughts become the reason to end a relationship.
As you drive on into the night, you realize that leaving Daniel was the only way to save him from you. It wasn't easy, and it certainly wasn't painless, but you know in your heart that it was the right thing to do.
Hope that you're sleeping well knowing I'm not
In the weeks following the breakup, a sense of emptiness settled over you like a heavy fog, each day passing in a blur of regret and longing. As you reflected on what had led you to push Daniel away, you couldn't escape the realization that your own insecurities and past traumas had played a significant role in sabotaging the one good thing in your life.
Memories of past relationships haunted your thoughts, whispering tales of betrayal and heartbreak, leaving you unable to fully trust in the love Daniel offered so freely. Childhood wounds, buried deep beneath layers of self-preservation, resurfaced with a vengeance, casting doubt on your worthiness of happiness.
I'm doing too much, hmm
In the quiet moments of solitude, you found yourself grappling with the harsh reality of your actions, longing to turn back the hands of time and undo the damage you had wrought. With each passing day, the weight of regret grew heavier, until it became too much to bear.
He called many times when you finally turned your phone on, but you were too much of a coward to reply to any of his messages. You could tell he was hurt based on the voicemails he left, asking what he did wrong for you to leave abruptly. Daniel had wanted to surprise you by coming home a day early, and you ruined it by not being there.
Did I fall out of line when I called you?
Just like you ruined everything else in your life. You cried yourself to sleep that night, lulling yourself by playing his voicemails over and over again because despite his tone revealing he cried, he still loved you.
Summoning all the courage you could muster, you sought out Daniel, driven by an overwhelming need to make amends, to lay bare the truth of your fears and insecurities.
When I told you "I'm fine"
You stood on the step in front of the house you once called yours, and if everything went well, it would be yours again along with his.
Daniel opened the door, shock covering his features. He gazed at you from head to toe, checking if you were injured but once he was satisfied, his gaze hardened as it connected with yours.
"Daniel," you began, your voice trembling with emotion as you stood before him, "I need to talk to you."
You were lied to
Noticing the hesitation in your tone, his eyes softened, finally coming to a realization that you were truly standing in front of him after being left alone for weeks.
"What happened?" he asked, concern lacing his words. He itched to touch you, to hold you, but he needed to know your stance on your relationship.
How could I think that all that I gave you was enough?
Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to find the right words. "I'm so sorry," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper. "I made a mistake. I let my fears get the best of me, and I pushed you away."
Daniel's brow furrowed in confusion and worry. Ignoring the voice in his head to stay away, he pulled you closer, hugging you and sighing as he found relief by having you in his arms.
I keep thinking maybe if you let me back in
"Why did you push me away? We could've talked," he muttered as he felt your tears wetting the crook of his neck. "It's... it's complicated," you replied, your voice cracking with emotion.
He pulled back, "did I do something?"
You quickly shook your head, "no, you're perfect. I got scared. Scared of getting hurt again, of letting someone in only to be left broken and alone. But I see now that I let my past dictate my future, and I lost sight of what truly mattered, how much you mattered."
We can make it better, breaking every habit
Silence hung heavy between you, the weight of your confession filling the space between your hearts. Then, finally, Daniel spoke, his voice soft but filled with pain. "I don't understand why you didn't talk to me about this sooner," he said, his eyes searching yours for answers.
"I was afraid," you admitted, tears streaming down your cheeks. "Afraid that if I opened up to you, you would see the broken pieces of me and walk away. But now I realize that keeping you at arm's length was the biggest mistake of my life."
Pull myself together, you could watch it happen
Daniel reached out, gently wiping away your tears with his thumb. "I'm not going anywhere," he said, his voice firm with conviction. "I love you, flaws and all. But we need to work through this together, okay?"
With a trembling smile, you nodded, feeling the weight of his words lift the burden from your shoulders.
In that moment, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand, guided by the light of love and forgiveness.
Let it happen, let it happen
Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @wonnou @jointhehunt67 @gxuh @lochnoch @llando4norris @monsieurbacteria6 @namgification @lilymurphy03 @sargeantdumbass @hiireadstuff @racingheartsposts @d3kstar @xjval @namjoonswaifu @isabellewinchester @thedecalcomania-blog @casperlikej @khaylin27 @mlioravanfleet @xoxonoire
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xothatnerdykid · 6 months
Text
when you know, you know
You, a teaching assistant at UA, and Aizawa start a secret relationship that somehow turns into more than he imagined. Aizawa Shouta x gn!reader. Tooth-rotting fluff. SFW, 1.4k words. (Can be both a stand alone or a continuation to Say Yes to Heaven).
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Aizawa’s not one for casual sex or casual relationships. He tried for a while, because his busy life didn’t leave room for much else and it just seemed like the most practical thing to do. But eventually, he realized that it’s just not worth it if it doesn’t lead to any meaningful connection. So he had sworn off relationships for a few years until he got his life all settled.
Or at least, that’s what he planned to do before he met you.
You, with your laughter that makes something inside him stir, a pleasant surprise that breaks apart the grey clouds of his perpetual gloominess. You shattered all his well-thought-out plans with your easy smile and disarming sweetness. Your presence brings an unexpected shift in his routine, one he's both unprepared for and secretly delighted by.
“Good morning, Aizawa-senpai.” You brush a lock of hair behind your ear, your eyes lingering on him a moment longer than necessary. But if anyone else in the room notices, they don’t say anything.
"Mhm, morning," He grumbles, barely glancing at you. His voice is rough and sleep-laden, his tone flippant as ever.
You offer him a seemingly sweet smile, but the two of you know there's something more lurking beneath it. "You seem tired. Rough night?"
He narrows his eyes at you for a fraction of a second before grunting. Then, under his breath, soft enough for only you to hear..."You’d know."
To anyone else, the gestures seem innocent enough — a polite greeting, a shared meal, a casual conversation in the teacher's lounge — but to him, it was almost agonizing having to pretend. To know that there’s a certain warmth in your eyes or a secret smile meant only for him. 
A simple brush of your hands is enough to ignite him, a feeling he craves but constantly has to keep in check. After all, the other teachers have no inkling of the whirlwind of emotions brewing within him, and that’s precisely how he intends to keep it. 
Still, the temptation is overwhelming. Every stolen moment, every subtle touch…
Aizawa had always prided himself on his unwavering focus, but your presence had a way of unraveling his professionalism and all his carefully constructed boundaries. 
His mind, usually so sharp and perceptive, suddenly couldn’t be trusted in your presence. His eyes always sought you out, tracing your figure, the way you sit so gracefully, the gentle curves of your body and the smoothness of your skin. In a split second, his thoughts would turn inappropriate as he began to envision scenarios he knows he shouldn't be thinking about in the middle of a class.
It’s a constant struggle. 
You’re the disruption he had never anticipated, the chink in his armor. 
"Mmhm — remind me — again," you gulp in the air in between hurried kisses, "who thought — this was — a good — idea?" 
You feel him smirk against your neck from where he'd been peppering kisses and soft licks. "You."
"Ah, right." You take a moment to catch your breath and fix your disheveled hair. "Well, in my defense, you really shouldn't wear something so scandalous at school if you expect me to behave.”
He looks down at his usual training clothes — a black compression shirt and baggy gray sweatpants — and chuckles. The low, raspy sound sends shivers down your spine.
"I'll keep that in mind." He cages you with both his arms against the wall and leans in, smirking. "But don't think you're entirely blameless either."
"Me?" Nervous laughter bubbles inside you as you try to tamper down the hammering of your heart against your ribcage. "What did I do?"
His lips graze your ear, and your skin turns to goosebumps under the warmth of his breath. "You just had to tease me in front of my students, didn’t you? You know how it affects me." He pulls you closer, hands sliding down your waist. “How you affect me.”
You bite your lower lip, a teasing glint in your eyes as you meet his gaze. “Oh? And here I thought we were just having a little fun.”
He grins, his lips leaving another trail of soft kisses by your collarbone. "I didn't say I didn't like it."
You let out a soft gasp as his lips find a particularly sensitive spot, and you tighten your grip on him.
"You're right about one thing, though," he whispers.
And despite the beautiful work he's doing with his tongue, you manage a breathless, "What's that?"
His lips find yours again in a searing kiss. It’s only when you finally break apart that he answers, "I can't resist you, even when I should."
Any further conversation is lost in the intensity of the moment, the thrill of being together, no matter the circumstances.
————————————————————————
He never planned to fall in love. At least not yet. Not with so many responsibilities on his shoulders. But life, it seems, cared very little for his best-laid plans. 
So here he is, waiting for you after weeks of yearning and missing you like you’re two halves of a whole. The setting sun casts a warm, golden hue over the lush green grass of the park. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, scattering delicate petals in the gentle breeze, and he watches as the sakura petals dance in the wind. 
He spots you walking towards him, the soft light highlighting the sparkle in your eyes and the affectionate curve of your lips. You look beautiful, he thinks, standing beneath the blush-painted sky, enveloped in the soft glow of the setting sun.
"Shouta," you greet him, your voice filled with a familiar warmth and affection he adores.
Aizawa, usually so composed and sure-footed, falters in the face of his own desire. He almost stutters your name, the pounding in his chest drowning out every other sound. But he takes a steadying breath instead and musters the last remnants of his composure to look at you.
“I need to tell you something.”
You looked at him with curiosity and a touch of concern. "What is it?"
He meets your gaze with a steadiness he reserves for the most critical of moments, but you can see a flicker of vulnerability in his otherwise stoic demeanor. His hand moves up to gently cradle your face, his touch tender and reverent, as if he's afraid you might vanish if he's too rough. 
His eyes search yours for permission, for that silent understanding that it’s more than just a moment of passion when he leans in, his lips softly meeting yours. He wants to bring to life all the things he feels for you he’s left unspoken, still trying to find words for.
"Shouta," you whisper breathlessly when your eyes flutter open, your hand holding his, cupping your cheek. Before you can ask him again, the confession comes tumbling out of his mouth. 
“I love you," he finally whispers. And the world seems to slow to a stop for a moment as his words wash over you. “I’ve fallen in love with you, and I don’t want to hide anymore. You've turned my world upside down, and somehow, it's better this way." 
The weight of his feelings, the honesty in his eyes, hangs in the air between you like a delicate promise. It's not overly dramatic or romantic, but it's real, and it's him.
You press your forehead against his, laughter bubbling up in you. “Shouta, I love you, too.” 
Your confession sweeps through him like a warm breeze, casting aside the doubt and insecurities he's carried for far too long. A soft, genuine smile tugs at the corners of his lips. It's the first time you've seen him smile so openly, and an unexpected feeling of affection and endearment floods your chest. 
You nestle into the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around him. His fingers run through your hair as he holds you close and presses a feather light kiss on the top of your head.  Shouta's heart swelled with warmth, a feeling he'd rarely allowed himself to experience. 
It was terrifying to let someone in, to love so openly, but in that moment, he knew it was worth it. He felt lighter, as if he'd unburdened himself from a heavy weight he'd carried for years. With a sense of contentment he'd never known before, he held you a little tighter.
"If you'll have me," He whispers softly, his voice a gentle caress against your ear. He opens your hand with his, sliding his fingers between yours. "I promise to love and protect you. Always."
You beam up at him, your own voice tinged with happiness and affection. "Of course I'll have you, Shouta. With all my heart."
"Then it's a promise," he says, sealing the pact with a tender kiss, a promise made under the blush-painted sky and the falling sakura petals.
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coentinim · 1 month
Text
Crime scene
ADULT + DARK CONTENT - MDNI !
JPM is beautiful in the act of killing, how can his wife not appreciate that?
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Contains: descriptions of murder (not of reader), gore, blood, sexual content (at a fresh crime scene), you are (almost) as deranged as him, you are married to him, dead dove - please feast <3
I am not responsible for what you see on the internet!
Edit: forgot to tag people T_T
@fear-is-truth @taintandviolent @feefymo @slutforgarlogan @silverzoomies @yandereunsolved @maeriavizsendingjpmdose @evanpetersbf @carniv0reev
You heard it again. Those screams, those ear piercing, mind shattering screams of some poor soul being gutted alive. Supposedly, the walls were soundproof, but you could hear well and clear the wails of another one of James' victims in the next room. Perhaps the wall connecting your rooms was the only one he didn't line with asbestos... and on purpose for sure. He wants you to hear.
A young woman - no older than 25, judging by the noise - was currently being sliced open slowly and deliberately by your husband's hand. After only being married to him for a few weeks, you could already tell apart the screams of terror before a quick death and pained, tortured wails of a slow one. And during this time, you've grown accustomed to this peculiar hobby of his, even fond of it at times. His bloodlust and cruelty were undeniably fascinating, and having the honour of being the only person he never wished to harm was something to cherish. His debauchery was just contagious, really!
Curiosity had overcome you, and you decided to check what exactly was your beloved doing as he worked. And oh, were you amazed at the sight when you entered his room.
The screaming was so much louder and clearer here, begs for mercy - even for a quicker, painless death - made for a terrifying noise, but you paid them no mind. Oh no, you focus was on your husband only. He was a true artist, the way he worked the woman's body like it was an instrument, a work of art for art's sake, a horrible perversion of what a piece should look like. A bloody image it was - James was cutting all over her skin, ignoring the wails, and carving flesh with quick, steady strokes of the knife. You couldn't help but come closer, almost beside him, and you made your presence known by walking into his line of sight. He raised his eyes from the half-dead girl to you and you noticed his expression. He did not look human, not even one bit. His eyes were widened, pupils engorged and cheeks flushed bright red. He wore the mask, the strange mask you didn't know the purpose of that made him look like a horrible monster mothers warn their children about. He did not wear the apron he usually did, though. His white shirt (one of the informal, "not as good ones", you recalled) was half unbuttoned and stained crimson with the explosions of the woman's blood. In the act, he looked like a beast. He was panting when he stopped skinning the woman to gaze at you.
"My darling, I didn't- hah, disturb you, did I?"
His voice from behind the metal and leather sounded different, too. Savage. Inhuman.
"No, Jimmy, I was just curious..."
You gazed at the wailing woman on the table. Dear god, she was a mess... her arms and thighs were a mosaic of cuts, some more refined and artistic, some deep and rough, careless. She was almost bare, her under dress riding up enough to only cover her breasts, and only a small pair of knickers on her bottom. You hummed in approval; James listened to your rules against seeing his victims naked unless necessary. But you quickly turned your attention to her stomach, because that was certainly a sight to behold! Around the navel, there were a few deep lacerations, one of them definitely deep enough to penetrate muscle and cut into the intestine. The blood flowing out in rhythm with the erratic pulses of her heart covered her pristine underwear, making her look downright pornographic. It wasn't hard to understand his savage interests in such moments - the bloody, shining gash on her stomach was a curious sight, to say the least. It truly looked nasty; that must be why she was writhing in pain so much. She seemed to beg for your help, but it was unintelligible - besides, there was no saving her now, she had lost too much blood. Not that you would have saved her otherwise - she would just run to the nearest police officer and get you and your husband arrested. Accepting James might be hard at times, but seeing him executed while people leered at his undeniably painful demise would have been much harder. He was hard to love, and hard to let go of.
You trailed your hand over her split stomach, ignoring the thrashing and protests.
"May I?", you asked.
James' eyes lightened up even more, humanity mixing with the animal in him.
"Would I ever deny my darling wife to share my pleasures?", he replied in his syrupy voice distorted by the metal mask, the terrifying sound making your head spin. He was the only one who could scare you yet make you feel so safe.
You kept looking him in the eyes, barely visible under the eye protection, while slowly putting two fingers into the woman's wound. You were terrified, but you just wanted to tease your James just a bit, just a tad... It was wonderful. The quiet, pained screech, the blood exploding under your fingertips and the pulse of her insides. It felt like touching something slimy, is that what James felt upon fingering your cunt? He absolutely adores doing it, and now you see why; the texture is nothing short of divine. Your ministrations had a great effect on your husband, as he started panting and gripped the edge of the table the woman was sprawled on. Oh, he was hungry like a wolf at that moment. You let go of the victim's body after just two seconds, slightly disgusted with yourself, observing your bloodied hand and James' face. It was hard to see anything but his nose and eyebrows through the mask, but you knew he was more aroused than ever. In fact, you feared him. He was terrifying in his murderous attire, even more so now that his body language radiated pure hunger. You held his killer gaze for a few long seconds until something made him glance away. Right. The woman.
To your surprise, she was still making noises despite the blood loss. James walked right past you, close to her face, and held her cheek almost tenderly. Her gaze was unfocused, but she tried to squirm away from his touches. In response he just gripped her chin tight and tutted at her hazy thrashes. He raised his blade and sliced her neck open, so deep the blood exploded in his face. She went quiet rather quickly after that.
You saw him kill a dozen times, yet it always stunned you just how predatory it looked. His muscles taut, the vulgar display of vitality, as if he absorbed the life force of his newest victim.
Slowly, James turned to face you. He was dead silent, and at that angle you couldn't see his eyes. Your instinct told you to back away, so, naturally, you stepped forward, your thighs slick with arousal from the fear and guilt.
The growl that came from his throat was definitely unexpected. But more surprising was his direct action - he gripped your shoulders tightly and led you into the chaise-lounge next to the table. He pushed you hard onto it, making you gasp, and he pressed your shoulders to the soft pillows as if you were to be another victim. That particular thought went straight to your pussy.
"James... maybe after you clean up after yourself?", you suggested in the most sultry voice you could. Ah, did you have to tease him so much? He was impatient, after all! The tension from the kill had to be resolved somehow.
"Nonsense, dove-" he was already pulling up your gown, "I need to take my fellow murderess... now "
You bit your lip, nervous. Were you really a murderess?... that girl was already half dead when you touched her wound! You were merely an accomplice, and...
Oh, you forgot you didn't wear any panties until you felt the cold air hit your pussy. He gripped your thighs and left blood handprints all over, making you forget your guilt. Your dress was all red now, too, as he used it as some sort of napkin to clean himself after his meal. He was savage today, but even now he remembered to at least taste you before taking you. He attempted to take off his mask and you whined.
"James... no, keep it"
He chuckled darkly. Then, he spoke with his metallic, leathery voice:
"Oh? If that is to your tastes, dearest wife..."
He wasted no more time after that. He almost ripped the silky dress off in his hurry, and slipped out of his pants with an impatient growl. Oh, you looked like a prey ready to be ravaged. He groped you all over before sinking his painfully hard cock inside you, leaving bloody handprints on your waist and breasts and neck. You looked like a masterpiece of pain. You whined, the stretch was pretty painful despite your wetness. He looked like a feral beast above you; his terrifying mask making him look like a strange monster taking you all for himself. The thought felt so erotic you could barely stand it, and you whined. Oh, his girth felt so invigorating...
He fucked the same way he killed. Impatiently, roughly, and yet meticulously, both in control and completely out of it. His moans were distorted by the mask, and it felt as if he was all around you, he was in your brain as much as in your cunt. It felt divine, to be violated by that beastly killer, by your beloved husband. Sweet, honeymoon lovemaking with him was terrific, but the desecrating pace he treated you with right now was a feeling no other man could recreate. You gripped his shoulders, staining the back of his shirt with your bloodied fingers, bringing his body closer. Each thrust was punctuated by your obscene moans; he slid himself in at a slightly upward angle, hitting your sweet spot hard each time.
You whined and whined, and he slid his bloody fingers past your parted lips, making you taste his victim’s blood. Your guilt was all-encompassing, yet it felt so good to give in, even just once. Morality was for the stupid, uneducated folk, James used to say. Regulations, rules, faith; all of it is supposed to limit freedom of thought and action. You believed every word of his, no matter how ridiculous it all sounded in the context of his serial murders.
He always knew when you were close, always knew just how and when to toy with your pussy with his red hands and when to edge himself so you two finish at the same time. He had a thing for it, it felt like unity, like your bodies were truly one.
You thought he would never kill you, but he did it quite frequently. You died a little death many times with him, unravelling beautifully under his strong body, core exploding with spasms and locking his seed deep in you. You two came as one, him filling you up, making your mixed releases drip down and combine with all the blood. In this moment, you were his victim and he was your killer, taking you from life and lifting your soul up, or maybe dragging it down to hell, for a few seconds of blissful pleasure.
You always envied his victims. Oh to see his face as the last thing before you fade away, oh to feel him inside you as you pass! The blood all over your body, his mask and the body nearby made you feel such eroticism and guilt...
He pulled out with a whine and tucked himself into his pants, pulling your dress over your dirty body soon after. The casual nature of the situation made your head spin in confusion. That was it?... he can just get up like that, like nothing happened? You were panting, staring at his body, beautiful and shiny with sweat. He took his mask off, revealing a devilish grin.
“Miss Evers! Bring me fresh linens and draw a bath for my wife, would you?”
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ay0nha · 10 months
Text
An Ode to Ruination | T.S.
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SUMMARY: Tommy was addicting. Chronic. His aura was intimidating. He was callus to those close to him. And yet, there was that desire to sink below that murky water—drown in him entirely when his want was so clear in his breath. 
PAIRING: Tommy Shelby x f!reader
WORD COUNT: 2.5K
WARNINGS: ANGST, swearing, smoking, drinking, semi-preoccupations with thoughts of death/suicide, mutual pining, meanish tommy because his feelings are hurt, canon-typical things, protective!tommy, rushed ending, etc.
A/N: Yeah, yeah, I’m back on my bullshit.  This is inspired by @zodiyack​‘s request/post (here). HAD to get it out of my system, I mean look how pretty he is. This is a mix of Old writing I had to dust off the cob webs for mixed with new stuff, so be kind. Enjoy.
“You’re leaving.”
Tommy’s tone was sterile. It left little room for interpretation or defiance. The statement came without hesitation but held pent-up sentiment veiled by familiar poise. You vetted his blank gaze for proper determination of his upset.  
The cracks behind his exterior were so deeply concealed you hadn’t thought anything could slip between. Yet, standing before him, your decision was the ice-pick that’s pressure had shattered him.
“Ada told you?” You hummed with formality; his presence clearly a response to the question. “London will treat me well.”
Tommy tracked your movements. You envied how he filled the space better than you. Perhaps it was the vulnerability in his presence. Regardless, you felt like a guest in your own home. You felt caught, exposed.
The air was thick, causing Tommy’s deep breaths hard to hide behind a crackling record that you had on a continual loop, never able to stand too much silence. Your bags were organized beside the door for the morning, causing your heart to echo against the empty walls.
There was an odd sense of pride you felt with his presence. It confirmed the distant admiration that Tommy held for years. That the shared affection wasn’t something fabricated but complex. You respected his drive, but your desires fell elsewhere. He carved space for you despite your protests, but you could never be the one to fill it—you could never be his.
“A better life, eh?” Tommy mocked you, cigarette rolling over his lips with habit. “Fucks sake.” The confidence in his demeanor faltered. But he regained it quickly with a bitter laugh, “...I’ve given you everything, and here you are asking for more.”
With an instinct to comfort him, you wanted to reach for him. It spoke of your ability to read him and how exhausting it had become to interpret. He would miss you.
“Tommy—” You began. The calmness in your voice was deceiving. You could see it in his face, how expectant he was for you to tell him you’d stay. “—I’m not safe with you.” You paused, letting your admission sink in just as harshly as his words had, “I’m going to London.”
The bliss was idyllic.
Your wrist balanced on the windowsill as you lazily tapped the ash of your cigarette. The cool air caressed your arm and gave you goosebumps that reminded you that you were still alive. Human. Your senses were perked. The city outside kept you attentive as your head rested back. The day was long, but hearing the taxis carrying bubbling people made it worth it. You imagined how some were on their way to find warmth in their home while others were dressed for an endless night of laughter.  
The living room was empty and quiet. You could no longer hear Ada’s shuffling feet above you, ushering both her and Karl to sleep. It was odd that you found such freedom with them. Protection of sorts that you could rely on as a necessary stepping stone. It caused a headache to form at the back of your head, reminding you of your lack of sleep.
Privilege came with the name associated that made your stomach churn.  It was simple to push Tommy into a subconscious level. The task became daunting; an ache emerged from so deep within that it took months to realize from the start he was responsible.   It was as though you could feel how his eyes were still on you.
It became a habit to remind yourself of your newfound safety. The distance created life: happiness and tranquility. You traded bloody nights for bedtime stories, sewing razor-filled caps for gin-filled gatherings, and Tommy’s scarcity of communication for peaceful nights like tonight.
A disruption was overdue. You answered the phone after the third ring.
“Ada?” The voice was unmistakable, even if it was whiskey drenched. It took him a beat to realize you were on the other end. “... ’m callin’ for Ada.”
Chewing on your lip, you debated silence and pretended like the call had never begun. But that incessant ache begged to be relieved.
“I can wake her.” Your voice was soft, promising something you were unwilling to do. It was nicety that filled the quietness you were met with.
“I—uh—” Tommy sighed deeply. The words were lost, jumbled behind an always racing mind. You could picture him well; his crisp shirt no longer having life as it was rolled up by anxiety, his tie no longer present, but still suffocating him, and everything around him reflecting how he moved with an intemperate haze. “—I’m drowning—”
“Tommy…” You refused to burst, but his name on your tongue tattered between warning and heartbreak. When he drank, he opened up to you, a foolish cycle. “Let me get Ada…”
The dark chuckle on the other end forced you to press yourself closer to the phone. “Sometimes, I wish I were dead so you'd think of me.”
A frown perked your lips. You were made out to be more heartless than the most heartless man you knew. It was a naive guilt trip that you almost slipped on. “Be fair to me, Tommy.”
There was a crackle on the other end, a cigarette lit purely by regret. The drag was long, trying to pull something thoughtful from a blurred mind. The reports he received from those he paid off weren’t enough.  You were thriving with his absence, seen with a mix of people who, even acquaintances, valued you better. It elicited resentful envy. However, out of arms reach, you worried Tommy endlessly. The London associates sought blood, no matter who provided it. The paranoia was ruining him, and no answer could reassure him.
“You a communist yet?” Tommy cleared his throat with a vulnerability that was only reserved for this night. Maybe, you thought, it was an effort on his part.
“Almost…” The teasing comforted a dodged homesickness. “Think my card got lost in the post.”
“Shame.” He tutted with a gentle wit. There was a tender sadness he carried with him. It was almost as volatile as his anger. It was easy to blame it on the war, but it had latched onto him long before, never planning to let go.
You imagined how his exhaustion mapped along his body. His body probably mirrored your own; head back, limbs weakly sprawled, heavy-lidded eyes imagining the other beside each other, and a mutual worry that bounced between you.
“I am happy, Tommy…” Your promise was delayed, hardly believable. “Ada and I do miss everyone.”
I miss you.
Tommy hummed, “...have a funny way of showin’ that.”
“You haven’t seen our smoke signals?”
The laugh you were met with was small, light, and barely there, but it rushed through your limbs and heated your chest. You had a moment to catch your breath and slow your heart rate. Tommy was addicting. Chronic. His aura was intimidating. He was callous to those close to him. And yet, there was that desire to sink below that murky water—drown in him entirely when his want was so clear in his breath.  
You knew Tommy would be there. For Ada—you reminded yourself. Yet, seeing him so closely caused your heart to lurch, your blood leaving your extremities with such fascination that you became light-headed.
“Drink.” Ada all but scolded you, crystal pushed into your hand. The instruction was welcomed, but it wasn’t enough to settle you. “Otherwise, you’ll clam up if Tommy bothers to find us.”
Tommy worked the crowd well. It was a feigned charm that he played into only for advantage. Although he claimed to be here for family, business always loomed. Ada hadn’t cared either way, the glitz far too intriguing to question his sudden presence in the city.
“Give him time…” Ada spoke openly to the air, her night’s indulgence tracing her words. “...always time with that one—wastes it, and yet, expects you to be there when he hollers. Does your head in, it does…”
The champagne bubbled down your throat. The night was meant to be celebratory, but you’d be lying if you said you knew why. It was a part of your distinction from the Shelby family that you questioned if ignorance truly brought you bliss.
“Surprised he came himself. Thomas Shelby in the flesh,” Ada continued with ease, mocking her brother. “Surprised he even lifted a pinky. Typically one of his goons—” She looked to you, her revelation cutting her off. “You do understand what you do to him, don’t you?”
“I don’t want to.” Your words were sharp. Your eyes filtered the crowd for the gloved waiter to replace your glass. “There’s nothing that I—I’ve put all that behind me.”
“That?” She pressed with practiced bits of patience. Ada’s smile grew comically. The shy glancing took years to turn into full sentences and Ada knew firsthand how to read her brother, and the way he lingered spoke volumes. He was past smitten.
It was all or nothing; you were it.
You were grateful how her attention shifted to her own relationship. You never tired of hearing how Freddie treated her and loved her since they were children. There was somberness in her eyes, but devotion carried in her words. You saw how she carried him with her; certain mannerisms mirrored not only in her but Karl. Love withstood.
There was a point in your life you believed you’d find something similar. You hadn’t faulted your growing mind; it was natural to romanticism your future at such a young age. Those around you promised there was something fruitful to look forward to. However, life proved difficult; men remained boys, and the only person that you regarded stalked toward you as if you were nothing more than a stranger.
“Ada.” Tommy approached his sister as if she were alone. He’d visited her in the city multiple times but never once shared the air with you. “Enjoying yourself tonight, eh?”
“Mothers can still have fun.” She teased him with a peck on the cheek. Even in her state, she ridiculed her brother’s behavior. With a shoulder pushed against his, Ada encouraged Tommy to acknowledge you. “Have you no manners?”
To others, his expression may have appeared vacant. However, Tommy wrestled with himself, unsure how to maneuver in uncharted territory. Stalling, his eyes danced the crowd as he languidly out his matches and carton. It denoted how natural his icy illusion became, and now he seemed able to practice it on you. Once he landed on you, you realized why he struggled to meet your eyes. It was his only form of self-defense.
“London suits you.” Tommy nodded, his greeting muffled through the newly lit cigarette. The small rush it gave him was enough to stay vigilant.
“It has its moments.”  Your chest perked from the attention and chill, but Tommy’s eyes never faltered from your own. You were daring him to take your body in. It was the sole reason you chose a dress that cut low both front and back.
Tommy was never a blind man.
Nor was his sister. Ada excused herself, claiming whatever ‘this’ was, she wanted no part. You are no fun, she said. However, you weren’t sure who it was directed to. You held back from following her, but your shoulders remained open; you wouldn’t fold into yourself.
“I didn’t know communists could have fun…” Tommy mumbled to himself, eyes going to the crowd once more. Ada’s self-imposed isolation rippled through the family, only fracturing the stress of everyone’s well-being.
A scoff bubbled in your throat, “And what do you know about pleasure?”
“Pleasure?” Tommy became focused and pointed with his words. “Pleasure doesn’t exist.”
Eyebrows cinching with frustration, you stepped closer to be heard, “Don’t pretend like your pleasures don’t have names.”
That drunken call all those nights ago was a mistake. It showed you insight into a dream. In that dream, Tommy was free of what haunted him, light and present. Faithful. There his voice wrapped you in warmth with fulfilled promises. You never were as skilled at hiding your emotions. Your heart was broken on your sleeve.
“I’m going to—
There wasn’t a need for a protective air as those around Tommy knew never to challenge him. However, far and few between, there were those men self-entitled with such idiocy; they couldn’t recognize they were prey.
“Thomas Shelby. Birmingham man in London.” A hand clapped down on his shoulder, breaking the forming bubble around you. “Thought that was you! This must be the missus…”
“Not quite.” Your tone was bare, your hand extending with trained expertise. You could handle pleasantries. But the man was bold, leaving a damp kiss on your knuckles as if marking you.
Tommy was subtle, moving his body to act as a buffer. Fingertips brushy feather-bare against your lower back. You thought it would end there but held back a flinch when Tommy’s warm palm flattened where your back curved.
“Ah, understood!” The man replied with a boisterous cackle. It reflected years of unfiltered nicotine and a wet and sick penchant for bourbon. “I’ll have one of you warm my bed once all of this shit is over.”
You pinned your breath to the roof of your mouth. Your loss for words wasn’t due to the ill-mannered man. It was from the brush of Tommy’s thumb against your skin. It was a comfort and an apology for how he would have to agree with the man to keep him at bay.
It was all a part of the plan you were slowly catching onto.
“A good lay is a good lay, isn’t it, Mr. Shelby?” The man prompted again, a gauge to know if the future alliance would be worth it.
“Exactly right.”
You could storm off, cause a scene. Your anger steeped deeper than that. It lived in your bones, morphing into something vindictive. You stayed the course and played your part willingly. The morals you lectured Tommy on didn’t matter anymore when all along he had the upper hand.
To the man, you were a plaything, someone who the conversation held no standing. The information would be forgotten, implied confidentiality,   as you’d move on to your next client. However, the further you orchestrated the conversation to continue, the more you learned.
The night was a business move, another party dosed in secrets and danger. You took in the man’s features, noting how he was aging, greys just starting to filter through his scalp. Your stomach turned, knowing there would be a bullet between his eyes by the end of the evening. The interaction was a courtesy.
Once alone again, you didn’t hesitate to move from Tommy’s shield. You felt dirtied.
“I can’t believe you.” You spat. “You’re incapable of—
“Enough.” Tommy’s words were low. He pinned you with a look alone, keeping you steady. “You want to run from me, but you can’t.” You battled with him until you lost. His face hardened like you were another associate. “It was him or you.”
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extasiswings · 3 months
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Idk what this is but those new stills hurt all three of my feelings so have some angst.
“I don’t understand what happened to us. I don’t understand what changed,” Buck says, and Eddie freezes.
Because he knows. He knows exactly. Every big moment they’ve shared, the beautiful and the terrible, and all of the little ones in between exist in the back of his mind in one giant tapestry of memory. A pulsing, bleeding heart of a thing that he tries not to look at too closely because the fact that it is always there, so close to the surface, never letting him out of its thrall is sometimes more than he can bear.
It’s been years. Eddie’s gotten very used to being in love with Buck. Quietly, achingly in love with Buck, knowing he can’t have him but not being able to stop. Loving Buck doesn’t feel like a choice, it’s just a fact of his existence, rooted so deep and taking up so much space that Eddie can hardly recall being without it, the person he was before—before Buck, before LA and the 118, before tsunamis and shootings and lightning strikes. There are days when loving Buck overwhelms. When he can hardly breathe for the all-consuming nature of it. When the want is so fierce that he can taste it on his tongue. Most of the time though, it’s manageable. Like a radio on in the background, volume low enough that Eddie can ignore it. He can be almost clinical about it: fact—he is in love with Buck, fact—Buck is never going to love him back. It’s been years, so Eddie knows exactly how to handle these inconvenient truths, knows how to handle himself, has gotten used to them. He never expected anything to change, assumed that nothing could surprise him after so long.
But. Buck stood next to him in a cemetery and started talking about a woman he had only just met—a stranger—seeing him, understanding him like no one else, and Eddie—
Something in him broke. Some fragile bit of hope he hadn’t even realized he was harboring shattered, the shards slicing him to bloody ribbons.
And all he could really think was, Enough. Enough now.
Things changed then. He’s changed. Their relationship has changed. And he’s been telling himself that’s a good thing. It’s good, necessary even.
But Eddie doesn’t know how to deal with this. He doesn’t know what to say when Buck is sitting in front of him asking about it point blank while looking like a kicked puppy.
Part of him is angry. He resents being in this position, resents how long it’s taken Buck to say anything, resents knowing he can’t explain himself without revealing things he never wanted to. Mostly though, he resents the fact that after months of work—drawing a line in the sand and dating someone else, pulling away in an effort to establish real boundaries that might let him move on—he is still as much in love with Buck as ever.
Mostly though, he’s just tired.
“We’re still friends, Buck,” Eddie finally manages to say. “That hasn’t changed.”
“But something is different,” Buck insists. “If—you would tell me if I did something, wouldn’t you?”
Eddie drags a hand over his face, resisting the urge to touch his chest where a dull ache has bloomed behind his sternum.
“You haven’t done anything wrong,” he replies. It’s not an answer, not to the question Buck actually asked, but it’s as much of one as Eddie thinks he can give. And it’s the truth—Buck hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s not a crime not to love someone.
“But—”
“Buck.” Eddie’s tone snaps, raw and sharp and jagged. It sounds foreign to his own ears, an unacceptable loss of control, but he is fraying badly at the seams and needs out of this conversation.
A stricken look crosses Buck’s face, and Eddie forces his voice to gentle as he quietly adds, “Please.”
Please drop it. Please don’t push. Please don’t pull this thread.
Please let me go. Just let me go. Please.
Silence stretches between them for a long moment as Buck’s eyes scan Eddie’s face. But finally, as if he heard all the different things packed into that one syllable, Buck nods once.
“Okay.”
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the-music-maniac · 3 months
Text
I think what drives me a little crazy (in a good way) about zosan as a ship is - ironically - that they're willing to do the worst possible thing, to sacrifice, for a necessary goal unrelated to their relationship. By that I mean that a common romance trope is an individual being willing to sacrifice the world, anything and anyone else, for their lover, and zosan is...not that. And for some reason that drives me more feral than that other romance trope ever possibly could. I find that more romantic than "I would burn the world for you" and I'll explain why.
The root of their specific willingness to sacrifice isn't a shortage of love or care by any means, but a complete trust and understanding of each other. To the absolute core of who they are. I'm going to refer specifically to that agreement between zosan (that I got spoiled on, so apologies if I get details wrong, I haven't gotten there in the story yet - ALSO spoiler warning if you haven't gotten to around Wano, so click away).
.
.
.
I'm referring to Sanji telling Zoro to kill him if he changes after his stint in Germa, and Zoro agreeing without need for an explanation, telling Sanji to survive until then - that is so fucking romantic to me, and people hold it up as proof that they don't care about each other but to me, it's anything but.
There is a burden of duty to being the wings of the pirate king, and they both take that responsibility seriously. They're both devoted to their captain and to their crew, and to the dreams of their crew. Zoro perhaps more outwardly unwaveringly so, but Sanji is devoted too, different from Zoro but equal in intensity. There are moments when you can TELL they're on the same wavelength, moments where Zoro gives a rare speech on the dynamics of their crew and Sanji is silent because he agrees. Sanji is terrified of hurting his found family, and he's terrified of becoming like his brothers and father. He loves his nakama and so he's willing to sacrifice his own life to prevent from turning into that type of monster.
Zoro is similar. He is willing to die for his nakama, and their dreams. They are in complete understanding of that point. Death itself is not something that scares either of them, there are some things that are worth the price. Potentially for different reasons ahem self worth issues ahem Sanji ahem but that's still something they both understand. Zoro would sacrifice himself in a heartbeat to save Sanji (he already has at Thriller bark), Sanji would do the same (again. Thriller bark), so it's not remotely because they don't care or love each other. They are absolutely willing to give all they are to keep each other from outside harm.
But what happens if the threat to the crew is Sanji himself?
Sanji asks Zoro to be the one to kill him, because Zoro is the only one on the crew who he trusts 100% to do so, to fulfill the promise, who understands. I personally think Luffy would try to save his nakama, even beyond what is possible, at his own detriment. The other crew members would probably do the same (then again I'm still not through the show so feel free to disagree with my interpretation).
But Zoro could do it if it came to that. It would be awful, and it would shatter and change him, irreversibly, heartbreakingly so - I don't agree with people who say Zoro would kill his nakama without hesitation and be fine with it out of loyalty to his captain, Zoro has a heart y'all and he loves his crew - but he could grit his teeth and do it if he realizes it is necessary, that there is no other option. Sanji trusts him to keep his word, to protect the rest of their family. Do you know how telling it is about the level of regard you have for your partner, to trust them to the point where you can easily place the well being of almost all you both treasure into their hands, once you realize you can't be the one to protect it anymore, and know without a shadow of a doubt that it'll be safe as long as it's with them? With knowing they're strong enough to accept the heavy burden of having your blood stain their hands for the rest of their life, the blame for your death on their shoulders, the shadow of you in every single thing they do, inescapable and marking every facet of their life forever? And to trust that they'll not only accept those consequences without hesitation because it's what you asked of them, but will also protect what you both treasure until their last breath, without you even needing to EXPLAIN that that's what you're asking to them to do, because it's the obvious, it's what you've both been doing all this time, it's something you both know so well that no words need to be exchanged, no reassurances need to be given.
And the implication of Sanji wanting Zoro to do this task too, of being okay dying by Zoro's hands because they're equals in every way. Especially since their fighting dynamic is mostly a competitive, I'm stronger than you, I'll never lose to someone as weak as you, blah blah. This is proof that that's not what Sanji and Zoro actually think of each other. Sanji knows that they could kill each other if either of them truly tried for one - wouldn't have asked Zoro to kill him otherwise. Sanji is also fine with Zoro being the one to defeat him. There is an inherent (kinda fucked up) romance to that notion. 'If I have to die, let it be by your hands.'
And on Zoro's part, there's an inherent fucked up romance to keeping your lover close forever because your fingers are stained with the necessity of their blood.
fUCK.
(here is a caveat that I'm viewing this in a scenario where Sanji and Zoro have established that they love each other and are potentially in a relationship. If it's before that you could also flavour it with Sanji's "I love him but I think it's unrequited, actually I think he may hate me, so it would hurt him the least to be the one to kill me" which is JUICY, but just for this post I'm viewing it where they've already established that they're valuable to each other, that they care)
How am I supposed to look at that and not fucking die. It's so much more nuanced and romantic to me personally than "I would burn the world for you" because that trope at its core is a selfish sort of protection. I can 100% see how people find it romantic, don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you if you like that trope, that's so valid. It's "I can't live without you" and "I would choose you above all others" which is romantic, but it's romantic in a different way. Depending on the characters, it's also, I would go to extremes to make sure you're alive, even if there's nothing else left after the carnage except for each other, even if everything else that makes life worth living has been destroyed for survival, and we can only ever rely on each other for the rest of time. I only care about you but not anything else you care about. I won't try to save it, even if you tell me to, even if you want me to, and won't forgive me for all I've done because I can't bear the burden of you not being alive and around anymore.
I get why it's compelling, but that trope could ignore (depending on how it's written) everything else that person could hold dear. Ignores potentially, the agency of the person being protected, a character who could have accepted the consequences and have not wanted the world to burn for their sake, who is strong enough for that burden. And true, maybe the character isn't like that, maybe they just want simply to live a life (valid of them, people are allowed to want happy endings for themselves), but my point is, it's a different archetype of romance for a different archetype of character, but it seems to be more accepted as a romantic trope then zosan's dynamic and I think it shouldn't be that way.
Zosan is the opposite. It suits their character type perfectly. For them, it's "there are things that are worth more than even you and me. I love you, knowing who you are and how you view the world and what other things you value. I love you everyday on purpose, not hopelessly or illogically or blindly, even knowing you may not always choose me. I'm willing to accept the pain of that, just to be next to you. The time we share isn't any less valuable for being fleeting and impermanent. I care about the things you care about and our lives are also worth living because of those things. It would tear me apart irreversibly to hurt you, but I would do it if you asked it of me, I would do it if that's what this life demands of us. I know you can protect what we both love, even if I'm not beside you. I respect your choices. In this, we understand each other perfectly."
THAT is my shit. That's the fucking deranged ass bs that has me staring at my ceiling at 3 am, pacing the floors at 6 in the morning, gnawing on conkcrete like a rabid dog. Brain rot brain rot brain rot.
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teyamsatan · 10 months
Text
ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕍𝕀𝕀𝕀: 𝕊𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝔽𝕠𝕣 ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝕄𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕄𝕪 ℂ𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕝𝕕
pairing: Neteyam x (f)Omaticaya!reader
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synopsis: In the wake of your separation, your mind is made as to the future of your rocky relationship with your once best friend, now best enemy, Neteyam.
warnings: 18+ minors DNI, aged-up! Neteyam/Reader, enemies-to-lovers, angst (mentions of violence, battle, blood, death, confrontation, admission of feelings), strong language.
wc: 6.7k words
a/n: besties, it brings me sorrow to say that monster in me has come to an end, and i can only hope you enjoy and have enjoyed this story, that turned from a silly little fic about two people who hate/crave each other into so much more than i ever envisioned. i really struggled writing this chapter, and i hope i don't disappoint with the ending, and i hope you like it. what i can say, is that this is not the end for Neteyam and Vi, as I have at least one more oneshot in mind to showcase their ... progress (hehe). having smut in this chapter didn't feel right to me, but it doesn't mean it's not coming ;) pun intended.
as always, thank you so much for reading and engaging with my stories and with me, it means more than I could ever express into words. I love you besties, and i hope you stick around for a long time, because i will x
na'vi compendium: txepvi  - spark, oare - moon, nawm - great, tsakarem - tsa'hik in training, atokirina - seed of the tree of souls, sa'nok - mother, senpu - affectionate term for dad
lightly proof read, if you see something wrong, no you don't
: ̗̀➛ previous chapter (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series playlist (x)
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Break my soul in two looking for you But you're right here
“Are you sure, ma ‘ite? You know we wouldn’t force you into anything, but… please think it through. Eywa’s vision was clear, and it showed you two together. Eywa is never wrong, you know this.”
You thought about it, barely able to look into Mo’at's beautiful, sagacious eyes that always felt like they could see through you, through deception and conceit, and get to the soul of problem, the inner core of your amalgamation of conflicting, earth-shattering emotions, covered by a crust of barely-there composure, ready to erupt with any slight friction of the tectonic plates of your heart. You thought about last night, about his words, that still rang in your ears in a muffled cacophony of sounds you were trying your hardest to drown out, that you were scared would end up drowning you, instead. 
“I loved you, Vi.I fucking loved you. You were everything to me. And you broke me.” 
“Even the smallest similarity killed me, reminded me how much I hate you, how much I want to, how much I don't. I've wanted to hate you so much, I tried so hard, but you were in every dream, in every fantasy, you haunted me my whole life."
You thought about his actions, about what drove them, about how, at the end of the day, they were the same driving forces that you acted on. Hurt. Betrayal. Jealousy. Fear. You thought about your actions. How poison crept beneath your skin and pooled in your heart and pumped it through your whole bloodstream, until it was all there was, until it blinded you, and how he started this, but you continued it. 
How his fault was indifference, and yours was madness that only he had the power to force out of you. You thought about his parents, and how his dad was now your dad, and how hard you fought for hearing the magic words: “we couldn’t have done it without you, kid”. Those words, and the “you’re welcome” that followed, became as necessary to you as the air you breathe. It may have started, this need to gain Jake’s approval, as a way to get a rise out of Neteyam, your best attempt at getting him to lash out at you, scream and yell, anything but the horrible silence he ordained you with, but in time, it had less to do with the boy and more to do with you, with how his dad reminded you of your own, how the words of praise and admiration made the ones you were used to, that you’d never hear again, echo through the your tent and through the forest, hidden in between the whistles and sonorous trills of birds, but never forgotten, not to you. 
You thought about his specious assumptions, and your words, and how, despite what you spat at him last night, they weren’t the whole truth. You did tell Jake that you didn’t want to mate with him, but not out of a lack of love or desire. No, the thought of one day being one with the boy who shone light through the broken cracks of your soul every day after your parents died, the boy who himself shone brighter than any star or sun or galaxy out there in the vast unknown, the boy who challenged you, and annoyed you, and loved you, and got you… it made you happy. It made butterflies flutter in your stomach and tingle, it made a fuzzy feeling gather in your brain and haze your mind until it was full of nothing but misty reveries, of a life beyond your wildest dreams and fantasies, of night flights and battles won together, of family found and family kept. 
You told Jake what you did because your dreams couldn’t happen while you were pushed to the side and made to undertake the duties of a Tsakarem, they couldn’t happen if you had to forsake your talents and an integral part of yourself. You thought that, by saying no, you could make your dad proud, you could make Jake proud… make him proud. You thought that by becoming the warrior you knew you could one day be, you could help him… take away some of the burden that you knew he was shouldering all by himself, that of the eldest son, the responsible child, the prodigy of the clan. More than anything, you wanted to be worthy of him and of his love. That’s why you said no. 
If I can't relate to you anymore Then who am I related to?
But now, it was all wrong. Your love, your hate, your history and your future, everything you’ve done, everything you should have done. It was all wrong. O’i’en was right, you realised. You held onto this broken relationship, this hopeless promise of a mateship, not because you wanted revenge, but because you wanted him… in any way you could get him. Your undefeated stubbornness, and the war that left too many collateral victims for you to ever be able to sleep at night again, led to scars in your soul no one could ever fix, that you’d have to mend yourself in time, that you never could while in an arrangement you should have declined to begin with. It was finally time… 
“I’m sure, ma Tsa’hik.”
…time to say goodbye to the child you knew - the one you were, the one he was, and the love that took too much of both of you, the one that turned to ashes in your mouth. 
And if this is the long haul How'd we get here so soon?
Neteyam’s confusion was normal for the dazed, quiet astir he found himself in after just waking up. What wasn’t normal, however, is how the confusion didn’t evaporate once the blurry haze disappeared, but only deepened with the sight, or lack thereof, awaiting him in the green, luscious clearing he felt like he was reclaiming, like it could slowly be his… both of yours again. He didn’t feel this way now, in this place that all of a sudden felt barren and cold, like an endless tundra, like his soul felt. You were gone. 
In a way, it was to be expected. In some way, Neteyam knew last night was a just a fluke, a heady combination of overflowing of intense emotions that were too intense to be contained, that had to be released in the only way you both knew how, in the only way that would push the hurt aside and leave only a mess of denial and pleasure in its wake, because an orgasm is always easier to deal with than the pain that came with the cathartic act of confession, of owning up to your mistakes, of talking through years of hurt pent up in your already broken soul. You both did what you did best, so Neteyam shouldn’t be surprised. And yet he was. 
He wasn’t only surprised, he realises. No, he would be happy if that was all he was. Neteyam was angry. Angry and seething, as he was, he picked himself up from the floor, the smell of you still imbedded in his nostrils, your cum still on him as he took in his naked form, before tightening his loincloth over his hips, a task easier said than done with the furious slashing of his tail whose movements he couldn’t control, no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t know why such intense, overpowering anger was washing over him in tidal waves that were crushing his spirit under their monstrous weight, removing any reason from his mind, any sane reasoning or critical thinking. Why would he expect you to stay? You didn’t owe him anything, and this changed nothing. Nothing’s different. Neither of you admitted to anything, neither were able to admit to the fault either of you had in the unraveling of your relationship, in the actions that lead to death and hurt, to pain and loss. So why did it matter?
"The first step in solving any problem is recognising there is one, brother. The sooner you admit your feelings, the sooner you can work towards fixing your broken relationship."
Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you?
With a sigh, Neteyam made his way back to the village, hoping that once he saw you, all the answers would come rushing back to him, would make it perfectly clear as to the path he was supposed to take, the words that he was supposed to utter, which puerile confessions were better said and which better left gathering dust in the back of the rooms of his heart. When he saw you, he'd finally know...
The day was in full swing in the clan, as people were making the final preparations for the funeral processions that would take place once eclipse settled in. Neteyam winced at the mourning families, at the bodies laid on the floor, covered in leaves and flowers, in the way they'd remain, until their flesh would return to Eywa, return to the nature from which they were born, allowing for growth that would keep the community going. One life ends, another begins. That saying was as much part of him as any organ, any physical aspect of him was. That saying was the dogma of the Omaticaya, of the Na'vi as a whole. He knew it by heart, its meaning coursed through his veins, and yet, it didn't lessen the blow. It didn't stop the hurt and the pain of having to watch it, having to know to some extent, he was at fault for it.
He expected to see you by now, lending a hand, despite the fact you should be taking it easy - you were never one for rule following, and although you got better in time, especially after your blooming relationship with O’i’en, who, despite it killing Neteyam to admit, was a positive influence in your life, some things about you would never change. The need to help, to be of use, to prove your worth, the need to feel like you’re making an effort, the need to hide your pain deep inside yourself, no matter how hard life was grinding you down, it was intrinsic to you in a way you would never be able to shake. And so Neteyam was sure he'd see you here. But he didn't. Instead, he saw his mother, spotting him from across the patch of forest they called home, eyeing him intently, with a blend of emotions Neteyam couldn't quite place. There was a heaviness to her, which he couldn't say he felt surprised about, but the twinge of fear and pity in her eyes, clearly directed at her eldest son, was something he didn't expect to see, and it scared him. Without any thought, he tracked towards his family's tent, unable to break his gaze from her, whose own fell to the floor, before turning away and entering the home, the flaps swinging closed behind her, the sudden chasm between them putting a knot in Neteyam's throat. Something was wrong. What else could be wrong?
And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering, "Where did my baby go?"
"Sa'nok, nawm sa'nok, Oel Ngati Kameie."
His grandmother's permanent serious expression was somehow even more pronounced now, and Neteyam noticed the signs of weariness and exhaustion clear on her beautiful face. Still, with her most arduous attempt at a smile, she brought her curled fingers to her forehead and extended them in her grandson's direction, before giving her daughter a pointed look.
"What's going on?"
"Ma 'itan..."
The knot in his throat descended until it hit his stomach with a heavy splash, the feeling of dread nearly knocking him over.
"Mother, just tell me. Just please... tell me."
"She... she broke the engagement, Neteyam. What happened between you?"
The fast times, the bright lights, the merry-go Sorry for not making you my centrefold
The river that the Omaticaya used as a source of water, and nourishment, and entertainment, and hygiene, the one that was normally bustling with life and energy, was barren and deserted as you settled on its bank, leg mindlessly swinging back and forth in the cold, clear water. You focused on the way it felt, the flawless flow, as it touched your skin and how every once in a while, fish would nibble at your feet, and you were almost relieved that at least some creatures still looked at you like you were still alive. You didn’t feel like it, not anymore.
You didn’t feel like a Na’vi, like a person, more like a mix of pure grief and guilt that managed to swallow you whole, leaving just a cloud of misery in its wake. You knew you shouldn’t be here. There were better, more important things for you to do. Help was needed in the village, you needed to prepare for the ceremony, you needed to claim your ikran, wash her, cover her in the leafy shroud she would spend the rest of time in. You had to say goodbye. You owed her a proper funeral. You owed her a goodbye. And yet, your body was paralysed on the edge of this river, staring into nothingness, trying to find a way to make your mind, which was simultaneously empty and full of thoughts, each one more horrifying then the next, work and move your muscles, do the thing it always does where adrenaline takes over and makes you focus, makes you try, makes you brave. There was nothing now, not anymore.
Your ears twitched as the shrubbery rustled with movement behind you, and your scrunched nose relaxed as it picked up Jake's scent. Your coiled, immobile tail found its place nestled next to your thighs, and when you turned your head, you noticed your surrogate father, the mighty Olo'eyktan, dressed in ceremonial garbs, the red, feathery vest contrasting nicely against his dark, azure skin. You couldn’t look in his inquisitive, shocked eyes, that knew you to your core, the eyes that always looked at you with love and care, with pride and encouragement, that now you assumed would be filled with sorrow and disappointment, so you settled on looking at his headpiece, the imposing, oval stone a much more manageable sight right now.
"Kid..."
His feet picked up pace, the same way your heart did in your chest, and you let out a shocked, pained gasp as he kneeled by your side and took your body into his, his hand finding the back of your head and you melted in his embrace, listening to his erratic heartbeat that mirrored yours, that you focused on like a hymn, that pulled you out of stupor, and you watched as your tears stained his chest, before your hands found his back, tightening your grip on him.
"Sempu..."
"Shh, kid. It's ok. You're ok... we're gonna be ok."
Over and over, lost again with no surprises Disappointments close your eyes And it gets colder and colder When the sun goes down
Neteyam was trying to calm himself as he was pacing the floor of his grandmother's tent, so much so the rugs were now matted and torn. He couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe you. After everything, everything that has happened, everything you've both done... after losing O'i'en and Oare, after destroying his relationship and all his plans for the future, after promising him you would never undo this arrangement, after threatening him you'd both get to burn together... after everything... how could you do this?
The anger was all-consuming as it was lighting his every nerve on fire, as it was playing back, in his mind, over and over, your relationship, your rise and fall, the fall that never seemed to end, no matter how hard he wished for it to end, no matter how hard he didn't. He thought about how broken you both were now that the the fall did come to its unsightly end, and how it left you both in pieces, in sharp shards that found each other's flesh to dig into and lacerate, unable to stop yourself from falling apart around each other even at the bitter final act. He thought about how he should be relieved. It was all he wanted, right? You out of his life. He could go back to the girl, the girl he didn't love, no matter how hard he tried, to the life he was once envisioning for himself. If you truly gave up on him, on your quest for revenge, he should be happy. All he's wanted for the past seven years was you out of his life, right? If all you had and all you were was over... if the nightmare was over, that meant a new dawn would be breaking soon. He should want it... right?
And maybe he would want it, maybe he would be happy about it, if only there wasn't this intense hatred blinding him to the truth of the matter, to the potential this new revelation opened up in his life. Because fuck, things changed. Things changed when Oare died, when his sister talked to him, things changed when you woke up, when he found you in the clearing... things changed when you slept together. He told you things, things he didn't even know he felt, but he did feel, as you came around him, as he saw your face writhing in pleasure when you left scratches down his back. He saw your eyes as they locked with his, and in your eyes, for just a moment, there were confessions that maybe you didn't speak out loud, but maybe you didn't have to.
And then... you just... left. You left him, abandoned him without a word, or an explanation, without as much as a disdained "good riddance, asshole". How could you have done this, after everything that's happened? After everything, Neteyam felt like he deserved at least that... or anything, but not this. Not the silence, not to be told about it by his mother. He deserved more than this.
His legs stilled in place and his stomach dropped as your words, the words you shouted at him yesterday kept rushing back to him like the river after a storm, unrelenting and powerful, ready to knock out everything in their wake.
“You keeping your mouth shut and going about your life as if your life wasn’t impermeably connected to mine was what fucking hurt me, Neteyam!"
"You saying nothing, doing nothing, acting like I didn’t exist, like I was just a toy you outgrew, that was worse than anything I could have ever fucking done to you, don’t you understand that?"
"Do you understand that you abandoned me? I was everything to you, and you just acted like that meant nothing at all."
Fuck.
Do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Jake." you tried to contain the cries, you did, but as he held you tightly to his chest, caressing your almost-dry braids and cooing patiently in your ear, it was harder than you could manage in the moment. The sobs were loud and coming out in broken hiccups, but you couldn't find it in you to care anymore, and he didn't seem to mind.
"I did this, we did this... Neteyam and I, this stupid war, all the fights, and the battles, and the never-ending need to make the other pay... and all for nothing! All for something he heard, something I said, that I-... If he just asked, I could have told him, I could have explained, I -... fuck!"
"Shh... hey, look at me, kid." His fingers found your chin, that he raised, despite your silent protests, and you were taken aback by his own tears falling down his face, by the unending depth of emotion behind his beautiful, yellow irises, that reminded you a little too much of his eldest son.
"This wasn't your fault, baby girl. It was mine."
"I love you, you know? So much. I look at you, and I see Neytiri, and I see myself. I see your parents, I see this clan, that I chose to be a part of, that I'm grateful for every day of my life. This clan, this family I have, that includes you, this planet... it saved me from myself, from a broken path. And the thought of losing you, losing any of it... it haunted my every dream, it turned into a recurring nightmare that kept me up at night. So I did the only thing I knew how - I tried to mould you into the soldiers I knew you needed to be in order to survive the humans and their poisoned reach, their need to hurt and kill."
You were in awe of his monologue, that you didn't want to - you couldn't - interrupt. You needed to hear this, and he needed to speak it, and so you waited, and listened, and he spoke and cried.
"I thought I was doing the right thing. A father protects. But I failed to recognise how that would affect you, how much the pressure I put on your shoulders, on Neteyam's shoulders, would come to hurt you, to push you to this point. My words and my actions were what drove you both to the dark place you find yourselves in right now, and I'm sorry."
You tightened your grip on him yet again, and let his words sink in you, pass through you. You let them succumb you, like the water in the lake as it took over your body, until you were submerged in it, until you were a different person as you emerged back into the world.
"I'm still learning, kid. We all are... We all make mistakes, and sometimes the mistakes hurt and they cut and they fester, sometimes they are big enough to take over your whole world and eclipse any light shining through. But... people deserve a second chance. People deserve to be able to make amends, to fight to show you they can do better. And I hope I'm one of those people. And I hope Neteyam is, too. I think you two were meant for each other - I saw it every day of your lives, from when you were best friends to best enemies, you completed each other, complemented each other. You made each other better... and worse. But maybe that shows that one of you can't exist without the other. That maybe the connection you have is more than anything life can throw at you, or that you can throw at each other. Maybe it's time for both of you to get a second chance."
Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?
Neteyam felt dizzy and nauseous, a sudden need to anchor himself onto the ground more necessary than he could ever remember feeling. Seven years worth of mistakes came rushing over him, ready to swallow him whole. Is this how you felt? This whole time... this is how you felt? So insignificant and small, so used... abandoned, angry and heartbroken... just how he felt. He made you feel this way, he made 12 year old Vi, the person he loved most in the world, feel this way. You left him, just as he left you, and now Neteyam finally could see, finally understood, that you were right. It was worse. The not knowing, the self-doubt and guilt, the feeling like you were nothing more than a toy, ready to be outgrown, knowing you were disposable to someone you thought loved you... it was worse.
He knew he had to find you, he had to, he had to talk to you, he had to tell you all the words his heart was begging him to shout of the top of his lungs, begging him to stop holding inside of it, for it was done keeping his secrets, for all it wanted was to feel again, to dream again... to love again. But it would have to wait. Just a little bit more, it would have to wait, because right now, Oare needed him. Oare would be put to her eternal rest today, and before the ceremony, she still needed to be cleaned and prepared, and while you might not feel capable of facing such a challenge right now, he could do this for you. This he could do, and would, because he needed to, and he knew, deep down, you did, too.
It took a long time, but near eclipse, the ikran was ready, and Neteyam felt a pang of hurt taking in her beauty, so ethereal and extraordinary, so much like the person who came to call her a sister. The person whose voice stopped Neteyam dead in his tracks and sent shivers down his spine.
“Neteyam…?” 
When he turned, and saw you, eyes puffy and red, filled with tears that weren’t the first you were shedding, based on the deep stains on your beautiful face, your chest heaving in panted, uneven breaths, released in soft, sorrowful sobs, he couldn’t help in himself, and with a few steps, he closed the distance between you and enveloped you in a tight, rib-cracking hug, one that, to his unending relief, you reciprocated immediately. 
“She’s dead, Neteyam… she’s really dead. I wasn’t there for her and now she’s dead.” You were sobbing in his chest, and he tried not to let the moment overwhelm him, this moment that felt more like dreams he’s had than the reality he had to live through, ones in which you came to him, and let your guard down, one in which he got to comfort you instead of bring you pain, ones in which you were his and he was yours, one in which things were good, and pure, like you were. 
Were you waiting at our old spot In the tree line, by the gold clock? Did I leave you hanging every single day?
“I’m surprised you’re still alive after today’s training. Dad’s not going easy on you, is he?” Neteyam looked at the little girl, laying on the ground, chest heaving, with eyes of steely determination he doesn’t think are like anything he’s ever see before, and how the tears that pooled in your eyes refused to drop, no matter how oversaturated they got. The tears just didn’t drop. He watched intently, determined to see the first one fall, determined to prove to himself that a girl who’s never trained before, a girl who just lost her parents, a girl who was not from a family of warriors, like his was, wouldn’t be able to withstand the pressure that his father never failed to put on him, and he now seemed intent on putting on you.
But much to his surprise, the tears never did fall. Instead, you got up, canines sunk in so deeply, the blood was pouring out of your lower lip - anything to stop the sob of pain he knew you wanted to let out. When you were on your feet again, you ran your hands over your bloodied knees, where the gashes were still spilling red liquid from when you fell off a cliff and scraped them, before shaking them dry. Neteyam watched in awe as the blood dripped from your fingers and into the ground, and all of a sudden, he was left behind, your footsteps echoing through the forest as you made your way back to the practice arena.
“Guess he knows I can take it.” 
Were you standing in the hallway with a big cake? Happy birthday Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray? A universe away
"Have you ever considered, Neteyam, that I'm not your enemy? I see you, waiting for me to fail, praying that your dad... and my dad, were wrong about me. Have you ever considered I could help? That if I do this, you don't have to be alone anymore?"
Neteyam's eyes went as wide as his mouth as you turned to face him once more, a soft smile on your face and crinkles around your eyes, that almost hid the soft tears that dropped down your cheeks and mingled with the blood as they reached your lips, and he felt his heart skip a beat, and then two, then three... What was happening to him?
"I'm alone, too. I'm all alone. And I'm scared... of being alone. Of ending up alone. And I think you are, too. So maybe... maybe we can be alone together."
Almost as if controlled by a disembodied presence, Neteyam's body started moving on its own accord until it reached you, until his hand was in your extended one, a peace symbol you both learnt from the once-human Olo'eyktan.
“Friends?”
“Friends.”
And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium I think that I forgot to say your name
“I know… I’m so sorry, Vi.” His hands found your face, that he angled upwards to look into your eyes, holding you tightly, as if letting go meant letting go forever, and he couldn’t, not anymore, not until he told you what he needed to say. Your warm breath brought life into him as he inhaled it, and the courage given by the revelations that loomed over him his entire life, but were only manifested today, it was enough to speak the words nestled in his chest. 
“I’m so sorry… not just about Oare, but about everything. Vi, you were right. I did this, I started this. I should have… I should have trusted you, and confided in you. I should have given you the respect you deserved, the consideration of telling you what hurt me. You deserved the chance to explain your point of view, and I took that from you. What you said hurt me… what my dad said hurt me, but… you were my best friend, and I should have come to you. I should never have let you go, Vi. I’m so sorry.”
The words you've waited for what seemed like your whole life opened the dam of your soul, so carefully put together over so many years, now broken as it flooded your whole being with the full force of the sorrow and relief you've buried so deep, you didn't even know if you'd be able to ever make it surface again. But there it was, and his words brought your own forth, and with Jake's words in mind, with lessons of forgiveness and second chances learnt, you spoke, hoping he'd listen, hoping these words could undo at least some of the hurt you put the other through.
“I’m sorry, too. Teyam, I’m so sorry. After losing my parents, you, this family, were all I had. You were everything to me, and I came to rely on you so much, I couldn’t envision life without you. When you left, it broke something in me. It brought back feelings I was yet to deal with, ghosts that haunted me in the middle of the night, insecurities that continue to plague me to this day, fears of being unlovable, of being too much, of not being enough. I have always been too harsh, too guarded, I have always answered every problem with my fists first and my mind second. I’ve never known how to deal with grief, and so I did it in the only way I knew how - by turning it to anger. By making you the enemy. Every time your absence hurt, I needed my presence to hurt you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being cruel, I’m sorry for taking it too far. I’m so sorry.” 
It was necessary, this moment that was long overdue, and although you were sorrowful of the fact it took losing so much for you to realise it, you were grateful that did come in the end. You were happy that, as you moved your head slightly to rest your ear against his chest, listening to his slowly-calming heartbeat, you felt safe again in his embrace while you finally took in your sister’s body, that he spent more time that you could even conceive getting her ready for the ceremony, when you didn't. You were grateful that you didn’t have to go through it by yourself, but with the one person who’s known Oare just as long as you, who’s loved her just as much as you loved Seze, the person who despite it all, knew you to your core - your biggest dreams, your biggest worries, your biggest fantasies, your biggest fears. And here it was, the biggest fear, manifested in front of you like a sleep-paralysis demon, that you had no choice but to brave through, but at least, right in this moment, you didn’t have to brave it alone. 
"Thank you. For taking care of her while I couldn't."
"You don't have to thank me. So many things might have changed between us, but this... this never will."
The ceremony was as hard on you as you expected, and by the end, you were so spent, both physically and emotionally, you knew you were in dire need of a nap, one that didn't end in the morning, and maybe not for a few good days. You looked over at Neteyam, who kept his distance, allowing you to be caged in between Lo'ak and Kiri's bodies while you mourned, but who helped you lower Oare into the tree nook where she would lay forever, shedding silent tears as he placed an atokirina on her, his hand finding your lower back as you both said your final goodbyes.
One day, you'd find another ikran. One day, you'll be able to fly again, and think of flying as the beautiful, freeing experience you have come to rely on for your sanity and happiness for the last 7 years. One day. But not today. And not for a long time. Oare made your life special, and worth living. Flying meant what it did to you in no small part because of her. Her thoughts, peaceful and serene, a nice balance to your own, kept you steady and focused in battled, mid flight. Not being able to return the favour would be something you'll have to deal with in time, but as you felt your entire family's presence surrounding you, enveloping you in love and care, as you felt Neteyam's lips make contact with the side of your head in a gesture you've known him capable of, just not with you, you knew, one day, you'll be okay again.
'Cause we were like the mall before the internet It was the one place to be The mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams
It was hot and humid in the forest as you trained - something about the deforestation brought about by the humans made the weather feel hotter, or so the human scientists told you. Either way, you felt as though you were inhaling water instead of air as you tried to catch your breath, the last drill always the hardest in the routine, always the one that broke most Na’vi who were unfortunate enough to be considered good enough to be trained directly by Toruk Makto himself… but not you. You did it, feeling fire in your lungs and sweat mingling with the blood spilling from various cuts from across your body and exacerbating the sting you felt prickling like needles throughout your whole being. Each muscle felt like it was being split in half, but you couldn’t care less. Not now, not when you were so close to beating Neteyam, not when victory would feel so sweet, not when you would be able to collapse in the dirt and pass out the moment it was over. 
In the few months since the ceremony, life was more about healing for you than it had ever been. It was a nice change of pace, the peace, one you haven’t known since your parents were still alive, and for the first time in your life, you felt… almost whole. There were still things missing of course - your parents, who you kept in thoughts and prayers every day, and your sister, who you swore Eywa reincarnated in your new ikran, whose thoughts reminded you too much of hers for it to be mere coincidence. 
“Vi, you better focus if you want to have any chance at beating me.”
You scoffed, and watched as he flew past you, not before sending a small wink your way, that made you lose your footing for a second, before quickly composing yourself and continuing.
“Don’t get cocky, mighty warrior.”
As far as your relationship with Neteyam went, it took a long while, but in time, you managed to mend what once seemed unmendable and earn each other’s trust once more. It was an uphill battle, most days, but you were grateful to have your best friend back, and to be able to finally meet the Neteyam everyone knew and loved, the one that was kind and considerate, funny and charming, helpful and loving to everyone around him. You were grateful that now, that included you, too. Your mateship was never brought up again, not to the family, that knew you needed this time, and was happy to let you have it. The possibility of it was no longer looming over you like a threat, but more like a golden aura of inevitability that you wouldn’t mind giving into, once the pieces were soldered back together through the mutual effort you were both willing to put into to rebuild both your broken hearts. One day he'd be yours and you'll be his… 
But not today, as he beat you, with just barely a split second to spare.
“Ah, that’s too bad… maybe one day. One day, you’ll beat me at this, and on that day, Vi, I will fall to my knees in eternal servitude.” 
When you kicked him in the shin, with all your might, and watched as he fell on his knees in front of you, you smirked, the grin wild and unwavering as you circled him, lifting his chin with your index finger and willing him to look in your eyes, mischievous and filled with amusement. 
“Hmm, look! You’re already on your knees, Teyam. Now… about the eternal servitude…”
You had no time to react as he grabbed your wrist in his hand and pulled you towards him, until you both fell on the ground, and when he kissed you, you melted, like you normally did in the few times it has happened since that first time, in your clearing. You promised you’d take it slow, but in your defence, you were only Na’vi, and this was, in fact, a lot slower than how you wanted to take it. 
You let his fingers roam your body and rejoiced at the way his lips were warm and skilled as they moved on yours, his tongue tracing your bottom lip before you parted them, allowing yourself the pleasure of this kiss, that meant so much to you, that you will never ever take for granted again. 
“You taste fucking amazing, tsxepvi. Maybe next time, if you apologise and behave, you’ll actually get to cum.” 
You both laughed in the kiss, and with a mental note to yourself to apologise and behave tonight, you knew you were ready to take the next step in this new life, one which neither you or Neteyam would ever have to brave alone ever again. When your lips parted, and he got up from the ground with a soft groan, images of your childhood flashed before your eyes, warm and beautiful, once more, as he stretched out a hand for you. You took it gratefully, allowing him to help you rise, making a silent promise to yourself to commit to more risings than falls, for as long as you could help it.
"Friends?"
"Friends."
The sight that flashed before me was your face Over and over, when the sound goes down
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sinkovia · 4 months
Text
Selfish asshole
Simon “Ghost” Riley x Fem!Reader
Fluff w/ slight Angst
The bond between you and Ghost had always been deep, a connection that went beyond words. In the subtle gestures and the extra efforts, your love for him remained a secret. Ghost, perceptive as ever, saw the signs – the smiles, the looks, the special attention reserved just for him and he loved every bit of it. You always went the extra mile for him, making sure his mornings started with a cup of tea, ready by the time he came down from his barracks.
You stayed up late with him when he couldn't sleep, offering your comforting presence. You were always there for him, and he appreciated that more than words could express. Ghost cherished you, you were so beautiful in his eyes. He found comfort in the sound of your voice and the way you looked at him as if he were more than just a soldier.
Ghost couldn't help but feel a warmth in his heart every time you were around.
Yet, beneath the surface, a silent struggle unfolded within him. He recognized the love growing within your heart, mirroring the emotions he held but could never admit. The unspoken truth became a weight, and he made a painful decision to distance himself. In his eyes, you deserved more than what he believed he could offer.
Haunted by his past and perceiving himself as a mere shell, Ghost felt a duty to spare you from the darkness that clung to him. He became distant, withdrawing from the closeness you once shared, hoping you'd find happiness elsewhere. The short responses and a subtle coldness were his way of urging you to move on, to seek love with someone who could provide the life he thought you deserved.
It was a choice Ghost made out of love, even if it meant sacrificing his own feelings.
The change in Ghost's behavior was immediately noticeable. He started his days earlier, and the morning tea ritual you once shared slowly faded away.
As the days went by, the once vibrant connection between you two started to fade. The warmth in his eyes dimmed, and the shared moments that used to bring you joy now felt like distant memories. It was as if he had built an impenetrable wall around himself, shutting you out.
You found yourself at a loss, trying to comprehend what had gone wrong. Hurt and confusion crept into your heart as you grappled with the unexplained distance. You missed him more than words could explain. The ache grew, prompting you to confront him about it.
"Hey, do you think we can—" Your words hung in the air as he turned abruptly, walking away. Determined to have answers, you gently reached for his arm, concern etched on your face. But before you could express your worries, he snapped, his voice laced with irritation.
"Don't fucking touch me." He yanked his arm away, leaving you shocked by the sudden change. In all the time you'd known him, he had never raised his voice at you.
"Please just tell me what's wrong. Why are you pushing me away? Was it something I said?"
He glanced around, a momentary flicker of sadness crossing his eyes before the familiar cold mask returned. Towering over you, he stared into your eyes, contemplating something. The cold, dead expression dominated, and the words he spoke cut through your heart.
"You're always bothering me, following me around like a lost puppy! You never give me my fucking space!" Your lips parted, face etched in disbelief and pain.
“You don't mean that.” The words barely escaped in a whisper, your heart breaking.
“I do. Now leave me alone.”
His gaze softened as he saw your teary-eyed expression, regret clouding his eyes. The harsh words he yelled were filled with remorse, but he believed they were necessary lies to push you away. With your heart shattered, you turned and walked away, leaving Ghost alone with his regrets and self-imposed isolation. He hoped that the hurtful words would be enough for you to move on, to find someone better. As you hurried to your room, tears streaming down your face, you ran into Soap, further entangling your emotions in the web of confusion and pain.
"Bloody hell lass, are you okay?"
You broke down in the hallway, pouring your heart out to Soap about your feelings for Ghost and what he had said to you when you tried to talk to him. Anger fueled him, and he stormed away to find Ghost. Entering the rec room, he found him sitting alone on the couch. Ghost's eyes met Soap's as he was about to ask what he was doing, but Soap's knuckles collided with his jaw.
Soap, who knew Ghost felt the same way about you, couldn't fathom why he would say something hurtful to you.
"You're pathetic, Ghost, you know that?" he staggered back from the impact, shock evident in his wide eyes.
"You're a fucking coward." Soap's frustration echoed in his voice as he berated him for hurting your feelings when he knew you both loved each other. Ghost got up, towering over Soap, breathing quickening. He pushed passed him to walk away, but Soap spoke up again.
"You hate Y/n, admit it."
Ghost stopped dead in his tracks, turned, and walked up to Soap, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.
"You don't know anything about how I feel. You have no idea how I feel about her. If I told her how I really felt, she would drop everything to be with me. She would sacrifice everything good in her life for me because that's the type of person she is. She's perfect, Soap, the best thing that has ever happened to me. She's too good for someone like me. I won't let myself ruin her. I refuse to let that happen."
You had been standing at the entrance of the rec room, hearing everything. Soap's gaze shifted to you, and Ghost quickly turned around. His eyes widened in shock as you walked up to him with anger in your eyes. Without hesitation, you raised your hand and slapped him across the face.
"You selfish asshole."
Both Ghost and Soap's eyes widened, not expecting such a reaction from you.
"Why can't you let yourself be happy for once in your life Ghost? I love you more than anything. I don't care if you think you're not good enough for me. You are enough. You are more than enough, Ghost. You make me so happy. Please just let me do the same for you."
Ghost opened his mouth to object, but you quickly put your finger up, shushing him.
"I'll be at Maggianos at 8pm tomorrow night. If you don't show then I'll have my answers and if you do then it's a date." with that you turned and walked out of the rec room.
The next evening, you were sitting in a booth by yourself waiting. You checked the time on your phone, It was 8:05. You wondered if he would show up. You gave him five more minutes and still, he had not come. You sigh and get up from the booth, as you were turning to leave you saw him standing there, flowers in hand and his mask off.
You smile as he walks up to you and hands you the flowers. "Your late"
"I know, I'm sorry"
Seated across from each other, you spent hours talking over dinner, sharing a romantic night. As the night grew late, you both returned to the base together. Walking you to your room, Ghost lingered, and you chatted for a few moments before bidding each other farewell. As he began to leave while you unlocked your door, he suddenly turned around, cupping your face and planting a soft kiss on your lips.
"I couldn't spend another second wondering what it felt like, I'm sorry," he whispered against your lips. Smiling, you responded by gently placing your hand behind his neck and pulling him into another soft kiss.
Pulling away, he smiled down at you, admiring your features. Despite not being religious, he thanked god for having someone as pure and perfect as you in his life. "Goodnight, Y/n."
"Goodnight, Ghost."
"Simon," he said, gazing down at you with a gaze full of love.
"Goodnight, Simon." The sound of his name coming from you made his heart swell, and he planted a kiss on your forehead before walking back to his room. Smiling, you entered yours, closing the door behind you.
You found yourself lying on your bed, basking in the afterglow of the evening. The room held a serene ambiance as you reflected on the moments you two shared.
Thoughts of how good your life had become flooded your mind, and a contented smile graced your face. The memory of the date lingered, and you couldn't help but replay the sweet moments, the laughter, and the connection you felt.
Your thoughts shifted to the warmth of Simon's lips, savoring the tender kisses exchanged. The sensation lingered, and you found yourself lost in the euphoria of the moment. As you lay there, the room filled with a sense of fulfillment, your heart swelled with gratitude for the happiness that had found its way into your life.
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somanyratsinthewalls · 4 months
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Burning Hearts Chapter 1
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HI WELCOME TO MY FAVORITE PROJECT! This series is what my fic Prescribed Medicine was loosely based on. I've decided to bring it to life in a multi part series! This chapter is sfw and building background. I will probably post to AO3 since the series lovers live there.
Pairing: Wyvern Devil Fruit Reader (female) x Law
Burning Hearts Chapter 1: A Heated End. A Cold Beginning.
Summary: You were teleported across the globe in an instant, away from your crew. Your body was badly broken and beaten, thrust into the harsh landscape of a Northern island. You are discovered by the Heart Pirates and brought back to health. Startled upon waking up in a foreign place with an unfamiliar crew, you are shocked with the news that you’ll be spending two years there. Trafalgar Law, the captain of the Heart Pirates has made a promise to train you, but will it become something more than a mentor relationship?
Background: O/C (Rito Daisy) is a Strawhat Pirate. Long hair, dark brown with a streak of grey hair coming from the crown. Heterochromia, one eye brown and the other grey. O/C (Daisy) has a Zoan devil fruit power, although she is unaware what type of creature it came from. She was forced to ingest the fruit as a slave, therefore is resentful and only uses it when completely necessary. The only powers she has harnessed are black, bat like wings, and refuses to explore her powers further. O/C joined the Straw Hat Pirates a brief time before the Water 7 Arc. 
— —
Chapter 1: A Heated End. A Cold Beginning. 
Milky, iridescent ribbons of northern lights swirled quickly across your range of vision. Were you laying on the ground? You felt your long hair tickling your back, nothing impeding it. With nothing above or behind you, you were whizzing through space and time. You tried to move your hands. 
Your feet. 
Your wings. 
Nothing. You couldn’t move an inch. Your head spun with dizziness and confusion. What happened? Where were you? The last thing you remembered was-
“Wait Sanji-!” You called out after being face to face with the padded paw of Bartholomew Kuma on Sabaody Archipelago. 
“Don’t touch her you brute!” Sanji’s eyes flared with aggression as he aimed a kick towards your attacker. 
And that was the last thing you saw. You had been bested badly by Kizaru and Kuma, just as the rest of your crew had. You knew you had broken bones. You realized this now that the adrenaline had worn off and you could finally feel your injuries. The delicate tissue of your wings was ripped to shreds and you felt it deep in your flesh. You couldn’t even retract your wings and resume your full human form. You were helpless in your involuntary stasis. How long had you been flying away? The northern lights begin to meld together in your vision and your eyelids flutter closed again… 
— — — 
*WOOOOSH* *CRASH*
Your body crashed into the side of a snowy mountain like a dropped bomb. Pine branches snapped. Squirrels and foxes scampered away quickly. Boulders shattered at the sheer force of the impact. For a moment you were able to open your eyes. 
You were blinded by bright white. After a few moments of believing you had died and were ascending into the heavens, the craggy mountainside came into view. But before you could fully assess your situation, the rock face beneath you gave way and you were falling again. 
You scream but your mouth was quickly covered with snow from the incoming avalanche. You feel more of your bones snap. The pain is unbearable. Your head spins… 
— — — 
“Way too fuckin’ cold…” Penguin struggles to lift his legs from the knee deep snow as he trudges towards the woods on the mountain. 
“Captain said to get wood. You wanna tell him you were ‘too cold,’ Penguin?” Ikkaku snapped at her exploration partner while she too, struggled to move through the snow. 
“I’d like to see him out here in this shit! I can barely tell my hand from my dick in this blizzard!” Penguin shot back. 
“That’s probably because you can barely see your- Ooof!” Ikkaku trips over something in her path and takes a nose dive into the fresh powder in front of her. 
“Hah! Karma, bitch!” Penguin laughs and pulls his hat back. Upon clearing his vision, he sees what his crew mate had tumbled over. A pair of denim clad thighs and a slim waist. “Wait… Ikkaku…” 
“What is it? Help me up already!” 
“It’s… it’s a girl!” 
“What?” Ikkaku shakes her head to shake off the snow. 
“There’s some lady buried in the snow! We gotta get her out!” Penguin panics and starts scraping heaps of snow off the frozen body. 
“Oh shit, you’re right. Let’s pull her out.” Ikkaku reaches through the snow until she feels a lifeless skull lolling around. She places a gentle hand behind the body’s neck and pulls it out of the snow. It was a beautiful woman, long brown hair braided with flowers and vines that had been frozen and wilted in the snow, a large grey streak spread from a corner of her forehead. Ikkaku grabs the shoulders while Penguin grabbed the legs of the lifeless form. 
“Why isn’t it moving?” Penguin pulls on the legs. 
“Hmmph! It’s stuck on something… Hmmmpph!” Ikkaku tries to jostle the body free of the ice and snow. The duo pull and push on the body until something finally gives and it is released from the grip of the mountain. Suddenly, on one side of the body, a tattered black wing breaks free from the ice and flops back down. The second wing followed and slumped lifelessly next to the unconscious form. 
“What the hell is this thing?!?” Penguin exclaims. 
“I don’t know…” Ikkaku looks down at the strange person. “But Captain is definitely gonna wanna see this…” 
The two wordlessly agree to carry the body back down to the Heart Pirate safe house at the bottom of the mountain. 
— — 
“Captain! Law! Hurry!” Penguin yells as he runs into the base backwards carrying the legs of the unknown body. 
“Bring it to the med bay, if there’s any chance it’s still alive he’s going to want it in there.” Ikkaku hurries Penguin down the hallway to Captain Trafalgar Law’s surgery room that connected to his secluded office. 
Doors swinging open quickly, the pirates hoist the winged figure up onto the surgery table. The body laid lifelessly on the table while the shredded wings flopped lazily at its sides, tips nearly hitting the floor. Penguin collapsed against the wall behind him, breath heavy from the long, arduous journey back from the mountain with their new addition. 
The door to the adjoining office was flung open. 
“What the hell is this?” Law burst in and began pulling on a pair of blue rubber gloves. 
D, E, A, T, H.
H, T, A, E, D.
He slipped the gloves over each finger and moved towards the surgery table. 
“We found it on the mountain, Captain.” Ikkaku responds. “Under a blizzard and a landslide. I doubt it’s still alive.” 
Law wordlessly peruses the body. He stops by it’s neck and presses two fingers against it’s pulse point. 
E, A.
“There’s a pulse. She’s alive.” 
Ikkaku and Penguin look at each other and their eyes widen. 
“Bepo!” Law shouts. 
“Yes, Captain?” A large polar bear in an orange jump suit enters the operating suite. 
“Ready the surgery room.” Law eyes Penguin and Ikkaku gawking at each other. “You two, prepare for a procedure. Get Shachi too. This won’t be easy.” 
“Aye, Captain!” The duo immediately went to change their uniforms and scrub up for the procedure. 
—- —- —- —- 
“I need more stitches, Bepo.” Law states, muffled by the surgical mask in front of his nose and mouth. 
Law sits on a doctor’s stool sewing up the sinewy flesh on the being’s wings. It had taken him 2 hours, but Dr Trafalgar Law had already sewn up one wing and was finishing the other. It didn’t look good, even Law could admit that. He was just trying to stop the bleeding from the micro veins and tissue in the wing webbing. Bepo had hooked up the creature to machines to monitor its breathing and heart rate. 
“I-It’s a vampire. W-we should have left it out there.” Penguin says from the corner of the operating room. 
“If you can’t be helpful, leave.” Law states calmly without looking up from his work. 
“It’s not a vampire, you idiot.” Shachi remarks from his spot next to the body. “It’s that Straw Hat girl. You guys don’t remember her from the auction house?” 
This peaked Law’s interest. 
“Straw Hat? She’s with his crew?” Law takes a moment from his hunched position over the wing to look at the body’s unconscious face. He notices her button nose, full bottom lip, and her frostbitten skin. Law cocks his head. He remembers her from Sabaody now. She was with the young man in the Straw Hat. He recalls the information on her wanted poster. They had only left the chaos a few days earlier. 
“The botanist…” He mumbles under his breath. 
“Yeah! That’s it! They call her the Earthly Devil… Rito Daisy I think..” Shachi confirms. 
“Daisy…” Law says pensively. He looks at your peaceful face. His gaze lingers for a moment before returning to his work stitching up the flesh of his new patient. 
“Must be a Zoan type.” Bepo says from over Law’s shoulder. “She’s certainly no mink. The question is what kind of Zoan type makes wings like that…” The bear has worry and concern his voice. Law sighs and rises from his chair. 
“It’s not important right now.” He ties off his stitches and moves towards the body’s torso. “We need to set the bones. If we don’t do it now, it’ll be a lot more painful when she’s awake.” 
Law cracks his knuckles.
D, D, E, E, A, A, T, T, H, H. 
His crew members look at him expectantly.
“Well, let’s do it.” 
— —  
Burning. Bright. Fluorescent. 
“Ow… my eyes…” You mumble as you wake from a deep slumber. All you could see was artificial lights and steel ceilings. You knew you were not on the Sunny anymore, ToTo. You try to reach your arm to rub your eyes and found that both of them were shackled to the table you were laying on. 
You were a prisoner. 
Again. 
You heart throbbed in your chest. Your stomach dropped through your whole body. Someone had taken you captive again. How could this happen? You had aligned yourself with the strongest pirates the worst generation had to offer and yet here you were, strapped to a strangers ship just like was 8 years ago. 
“Hey…” You try to sit up.
“HEY!” You pull your body up further. 
“GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! HEY! HEEEEEY!” You try to lurch your body forward but you were met by sharp, extreme pain throughout your whole being. 
“Hey woah hold on relax it’s okay! We’re going to help you!” 
A voice comes from the corner of the room you couldn’t see due to your restraints. 
“Who… who are you! Get away from me! Let me go!” You shouted. 
“I know you’re freaking out right now but I promise we-“ 
You see who the voice was coming from. 
It was an 11 foot tall real-life anthropomorphic polar bear wearing an orange jumpsuit. Your eyes crossed in shock. 
“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU FUCKING CARNIVORE DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!” You pull at your restraints, ignoring the searing pain in your body. 
“No no! I wouldn’t! Please stop!” The bear raises his hands in front of his chest to signify he meant no harm, but you would’t believe it. You scream.
“AAAAH!” The metal restraints holding you down to the table broke under your strength, the material melting slightly. 
“CAPTAIN!!!! HELP!!!” The bear shrieked and cowered. 
“DON’T TOUCH ME!” You shouted and pushed yourself off the operating table and into the cabinet across the room, breaking the glass. You honed your eyes in on the polar bear. 
You spread your broken wings and they crash against the furniture in the cramped operating room, knocking over carts full of medical equipment. 
“Shit!” You groan in pain. 
“ROOM.” 
Suddenly, the air around you tuned light blue. You spun your head around, trying to see where the voice came from. 
“Shambles.”
You felt a body behind you. You breathed hard in suspense. 
“Shit, that burns!” An arm around around your torso pulls back. 
“Wha-?” You felt a sharp jab in your neck and then your eyelids closed. 
Three fingers pushed down the plunger of a syringe.
E, A, T. 
— — — —- —- -
“I have to go to Marine Ford. Picking up a patient. You stay here and make sure this patient stays sedated.” 
It had been a week and Law had been taking care of his new patient in his medical bay at the Heart Pirates safe house. Law had made sure that Daisy would stay unconscious during this time, pumping her full of sedatives. He needed the patient’s bones to heal. 
“Keep her sedated. I’ve left the exact measurements of medications in the folder on the desk. Make sure she stays unconscious. If she were to wake up now, the sheer volume of her broken bones would send her into another shock-like state.” Law gives the instructions to Shachi and Penguin. 
“G-got it Captain! You can leave it to us!” Penguin nods at his captain. 
“It might be a few days. Call only if it’s an emergency.” Law tosses Shachi a transponder snail and heads out of the base towards where the Polar Tang was docked, Bepo at his heels. 
“Great. What did you do that landed us in charge of the vampire girl? If she wakes up we are so fucked.” Penguin remarks at Shachi. 
“She won’t wake up. If we keep giving her meds, we’re in there like swim wear. It’s an easy gig.” Shachi laughs. “And if she does, so what? We just shoot her full of one of these…” Shachi grabs a syringe from a medical cart and squirts it into the air. “So what if she’s a Straw Hat? She’s their gardener. She’s about as dangerous as their damn musician. No real threat.” 
“I don’t feel real great about this, Shach…” Penguin remarks while rubbing his brow. 
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sweetvoidstuff · 4 months
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Whispers in the Wasteland Part 1 II Cha Hyun Su x Reader
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Cha Hyun Su x Reader
Summary: In a post-apocalyptic world, you and Hyun Su reconnect during a scavenger run, with unspoken tensions from the past lingering. A fragile connection blossoms through shared vulnerability, leading to a quiet understanding and healing in the desolate landscape.
Part 2: In the soft dawn light, Hyun Su awakens in your post-apocalyptic hideout, discovering your caring gestures and the comforting routine you've maintained. As the outside world's harsh reality fades away, the haven of your kitchen becomes a sanctuary, a refuge from the echoes of destruction, forging a deep connection between you and Hyun Su in the midst of desolation.
Masterlist
The eerie silence of the post-apocalyptic world was shattered by the clinking of scavenged supplies as you and Hyun Su reconnected during a scavenger run. Emotions swirled in the air, thick with the weight of the past year apart. Hyun Su, unable to hide his relief, began visiting your hideout regularly after you invited him but never stayed long, his presence a familiar balm in the harsh reality of survival, always offering help with necessary items, if not for you, at least with you.
As he assisted with supply runs, the unspoken tension of your previous parting hung in the air. Hyun Su, haunted by the ghosts of his past behaviors, sought to make amends. "Why don’t you stay? It’s getting late. You can always have the couch if you want," you suggested one evening, sensing the invisible struggle within him. "I don't want to overstay my welcome," he admitted, his eyes betraying a mix of fear and longing.
Smiling sadly, you respected his self-imposed boundaries and softly replied, "Hyun Su, you're not overstaying anything. I'm glad you're here." Despite your reassurances, and with a heavy heart, he left, maintaining a cautious distance, hesitating to cross an invisible boundary.
During one visit, he brought you petrol for an old generator you'd been trying to fix for a while. As you moved, wincing and subtly favoring your right side, curiosity and concern etched across his face. Hyun Su gently probed, "Are you okay? You're moving funny."
Sighing, you revealed the truth about your healing injury – a deep cut around your left rib. Recounting the close encounter with a slow but hostile monster, you explained how you'd narrowly dodged its attack. The pang of guilt and fear in Hyun Su's eyes mirrored the emotions you had felt that night.
"I should have been there to protect you," he confessed, his voice filled with regret.
Shaking your head, you said, "Hyun Su, you can't be my protector all the time. It was my fault for not paying attention, and I'm healing fine. It’s just a little red." Despite your reassurances, he needed to make amends, even if he didn't voice it.
The night unfolded with a delicate dance of shared vulnerability. Hyun Su was up, fetching everything you needed and making sure you didn’t move too much. It was sweet seeing him caring so much. After inquiring about the implied redness of your wound, he retrieved the hastily packed first aid kit you had scavenged together.
As he began examining and cleaning the wound, his touch was surprisingly gentle. Each movement was deliberate, almost tender. The intensity of his gaze showed not only concern but a deeper emotion. "You have to be more careful," he murmured, his fingers tracing the bandage he expertly applied. Your breath hitched, and a shiver ran down your spine at his touch.
Your eyes met his, and in that moment, there was a silent understanding. Hyun Su wasn't just tending to a wound; he was silently expressing regret, seeking forgiveness. Despite the apocalyptic world surrounding you, a fragile connection was rekindling. His eyes were intense, and you couldn’t tell if you looked at him for a moment or a lifetime. The closeness was palpable, and for a fleeting second, it seemed like the unspoken tension might give way to something more. His breath hitched, and your heart raced, but then Hyun Su locked down again, pulling back, a conflicted look in his eyes as he slowly removed his hands from your ribs.
After the makeshift first aid, you and Hyun Su sat together on your sofa. The rest of your shared dinner was left forgotten on the table. Many unsaid words lingered between you, but for the first time in a long time, you felt safe.
As you drifted off to sleep on Hyun Su's shoulder, he nudged you, suggesting you go to bed while he would take his leave. But all his nudging did was make you lie down. Sleepily, you clumsily mumbled, laying your head on his leg, clutching his shirt tightly, and voicing a quiet "stay." He was confused, unsure, and couldn’t quite shake his concerns away.
"You sure?" he asked softly, the vulnerability in his eyes contrasting with the strength he showed during perilous scavenger runs.
"Yeah, Hyun Su. Just stay a bit longer," you whispered, and with that, he scooted a little bit down on the dingy sofa, allowing himself to enjoy your closeness and trust. In the quiet moments of the post-apocalyptic world, a subtle understanding and healing blossomed between you and Hyun Su. As he as well soon fell asleep, with you by his side, gently playing with your hair. Embracing a rekindled connection in a world that desperately craved it.
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naomeii · 5 months
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I have an angst to fluff request that's pretty long so I apologize.
Zhongli with a human reader who's his former blacksmith back when he was still an archon. The girl was young but her skills in creating weapons were immaculate so her elder sister sent (more like forced) her to assist him.
Unfortunately, Zhongli was very cold and harsh towards reader even when she tried her best to assist him in any way she can, which caused her to distance herself from him.
The relationship between them ended when she found out that Zhongli kept her sister's murder of her mother, best friend and her (the friend's) husband a secret from her (this was after she killed her sister). Exhausted and furious, she tears into Zhongli who tells her that her friends needed to die in order for her to mature. This angers her even more as she destroys the spear she made for him and leaves.
Sometime during the Archon war, reader ended up getting cursed with longevity during a fight with a god. Many, including Zhongli, thought she had died but unbeknownst to them, she was wandering Tevyat under different aliases.
The two meet again after 500 years when the ex-archon finds her in Liyue. Unsurprisingly, she treats him coldly which upsets him.
The two finally reconcile after reader is saved by Zhongli after nearly dying. When she accuses him of only saving her life just to make himself feel better and tells him he should've just let her die because she's useless to him anyways, this breaks his heart. It's his fault she hates him. It was because if him she lost her loved ones. He breaks down in tears as he apologizes to her for his cruel actions which causes her to cry as well and forgive him. As the two lay in bed together while in each other's arms, the silence that was once sullen was now peaceful and welcoming.
Renewed Souls.
—Pairings: Zhongli x F!Reader
Content : Suicidal themes, character deaths, Angst to Fluff.
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The cavernous echoes of the smithy resonated with the rhythmic clanging of metal. Young (Y/n), a skilled blacksmith, meticulously forged weapons under the watchful eye of Morax, the Geo Archon. Her elder sister had insisted that she assist him, hoping to further her skills and gain favour with the powerful deity.
Morax, however, was a stern and cold taskmaster. He rarely acknowledged her efforts, and when he did, it was often accompanied by a disapproving scowl. Despite her earnest attempts to please him, (Y/n) found herself on the receiving end of his harsh criticism.
One day, as she carefully handed him a newly crafted spear, Morax's expression remained indifferent. "Mediocre at best," he remarked coldly. "You still have much to learn."
(Y/n) bit her lip, suppressing the frustration that threatened to boil over. She had poured her heart and soul into her craft, only to be met with relentless criticism.
Weeks turned into months, and the tension between them only grew. Morax's stoic demeanor never wavered, and (Y/n) began to distance herself emotionally from the callous Archon.
The breaking point came when (Y/n) discovered the painful truth about her family's demise. In a fit of rage, she confronted Morax, her eyes blazing with fury. "You knew!" she accused, tears streaming down her face. "You knew what happened to my mother, my best friend, and her husband, and you kept it from me!"
Morax's gaze remained unwavering, his voice steady. "Their deaths were a necessary sacrifice. A step on the path to maturity."
Enraged, (Y/n) couldn't contain her emotions any longer. "Sacrifice? Is that what you call it?" She tore into him, expressing the anguish that had festered within her. "You played puppet master with my life, and for what? To mold me into your idea of a mature servant?"
Her hands trembled as she clutched the spear she had painstakingly crafted for Morax. "I won't be a part of this any longer!" With a swift and powerful motion, she shattered the weapon against the cold stone floor.
The once-immaculate spear now lay broken, mirroring the fractured relationship between the blacksmith and the Geo Archon. (Y/n) turned on her heel, leaving the workshop and Morax behind.
Morax just stood there, like a statue, watching (Y/n) storm out of the workshop. His expression remained unmoved, but a flicker of something, perhaps regret, crossed his eyes. He didn't bother to chase after her or offer any words of consolation.
As the door swung shut, Morax was left alone amidst the remnants of shattered metal and fractured trust. The weight of his decisions hung in the air, and for a moment, the stoic facade he always wore seemed to crack ever so slightly. Yet, he made no move to follow her, letting her footsteps fade into the distance.
The workshop, once filled with the sounds of creation, now echoed with the haunting silence of a connection irreparably broken. Morax, the Geo Archon, remained alone, surrounded by the wreckage of a bond he had callously allowed to unravel.
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The chaos of the Archon War had gripped Teyvat, and (Y/n) found herself caught in the crossfire during a skirmish with a vengeful god. In the midst of the battle, a malevolent curse was cast upon her, a dark magic that twisted the fabric of time and granted her an unintended boon—immortality.
As the curse took hold, (Y/n) felt a surge of power coursing through her veins, but it came at a cost. The battle raged on, and the once-familiar faces of her comrades blurred into a chaotic maelstrom. Morax, witnessing the apparent demise of his former blacksmith, felt a pang of regret deep within.
In the midst of the chaos, (Y/n) was enveloped in an ethereal glow, her form disappearing from the battlefield. The onlookers, including Morax, believed her to be lost to the cruel grip of the war. Unbeknownst to them, (Y/n) was trapped in a strange state between life and death, her consciousness suspended in an eternal limbo.
The first time she awoke, disoriented and alone, she realized that her surroundings had changed. Teyvat looked both familiar and alien, the passage of time evident in the shifting landscapes. (Y/n) moved through the ages under different aliases, trying to make sense of her cursed existence.
In one era, she roamed as a wandering scholar, sharing her knowledge with those she encountered. In another, she assumed the guise of a skilled artisan, creating masterpieces that would be remembered for centuries. The people she met came and went, their lives fleeting in comparison to her perpetual existence.
Through the ages, Morax continued to mourn the loss of (Y/n), unaware that she still existed in the shadows, watching the world evolve without her. The once-mighty Archon became more introspective, haunted by the memories of the blacksmith he had pushed away during the earlier days of the war.
(Y/n) continued to wander Teyvat, her heart heavy with the weight of the curse that bound her to an unending journey. The war raged on, gods clashed, and nations rose and fell, all while she remained an unseen observer, cursed to witness the passage of time without truly living.
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The market in Liyue hummed with activity as (Y/n), now cloaked in a hooded robe, moved through the crowd. Her physical appearance had remained remarkably unchanged over the centuries, but the passage of time had etched a rugged resilience into her features. Her eyes, however, retained a sharpness that betrayed the wisdom and weariness of her immortal existence.
Zhongli, the ex-Archon once known as Morax, had been quietly observing the market, as was his habit in the mortal realm. His keen gaze caught a glimpse of (Y/n) amidst the throng, and for a moment, his heart skipped a beat. He couldn't believe his eyes—could it really be her after all these years?
With a newfound determination, Zhongli trailed her through the market, weaving through the lively vendors and animated chatter. As he approached, (Y/n) couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. Her senses, honed by centuries of survival, detected the persistent presence behind her.
Finally, Zhongli caught up, his voice carrying a mix of uncertainty and hope. "Excuse me, miss. Might I have a moment of your time?" he inquired, his tone gentle.
(Y/n) stiffened, recognising the voice that echoed from a distant past. She turned to face him, her hood casting shadows over her features. "I have no time for idle chatter," she replied coldly, her eyes narrowing.
Zhongli persisted, determined to bridge the gap that had grown between them over centuries. "I sense a familiarity in your aura. Have we met before?"
(Y/n) scoffed, her patience wearing thin. "I've met many in my long existence. Your attempts at recognition are futile. Now, leave me be."
Zhongli, undeterred, continued to follow her, his gaze filled with a quiet desperation. He couldn't shake the feeling that she held the key to a past he had long buried. As they neared the Wangshu Inn, (Y/n) sought refuge within its walls, hoping to escape the persistent presence behind her.
Days passed, and Zhongli lingered outside the inn, compelled by an unspoken connection that transcended time. Eventually, he approached her again, hoping for a chance to mend the fractures that had widened between them.
"(Y/n)," he began, using her name from a time when they were closer. "I know you recognize me. Please, let me explain."
(Y/n), her patience exhausted, turned to face him one final time. "Explain? What's there to explain, Morax? You abandoned your godhood, changed your name, and left everything behind. Why should I care about the reasons now? You mean nothing to me."
Zhongli took a breath, ready to speak, but before he could utter a single word, (Y/n) cut him off with a cold and resolute tone.
"I'm not here for apologies, Morax," she interrupted, her gaze unwavering. "I'm here for supplies, nothing more. Once I'm done, I'll be on my way. Don't bother following me or trying to explain. There's nothing left to say."
Zhongli, though pained by her harsh words, nodded in silent acknowledgment. He watched as (Y/n) disappeared into the bustling inn, her figure framed by the doorway. The weight of centuries lingered in the air, and Zhongli remained outside, grappling with the consequences of choices made long ago.
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Once alone in the quiet confines of her room at the Wangshu Inn, (Y/n) finally allowed the facade of strength to crumble. The weight of centuries pressed down on her, and the pain she had endured for so long spilled over. The tears, held back for centuries, now flowed freely, each drop carrying the anguish of a life that seemed unending.
She sank to her knees, the room silent except for the soft sobs that wracked her body. The weight of loss, betrayal, and the relentless march of time bore down on her, and for a moment, the eternal wanderer felt the crushing weight of her existence.
"I can't take it anymore," she whispered to the empty room, her voice barely audible through the tears. "I just want it to end."
The memories of her mother, her dear friend, and the life that had been stolen from her replayed in her mind like a haunting melody. The curse of immortality, once a twisted gift, now felt like an unbearable burden.
As the pain intensified, (Y/n) wished for an end to the ceaseless journey, a respite from the loneliness that had become her constant companion. Her cries echoed in the solitude of the room, a desperate plea to a world that seemed indifferent to her suffering.
In the midst of her despair, (Y/n) yearned for reconciliation with those she had lost. The ache for the warmth of a mother's embrace and the laughter of a dear friend intensified. The room, once a sanctuary, now felt like a prison echoing with the tormented cries of a soul burdened by the weight of time.
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The next day dawned, and (Y/n) moved through the city as if the emotional tempest of the previous night had never occurred. It was her last day in Liyue, and she wandered to a nearby hill, a silent witness to her internal turmoil.
As she stood on the precipice, contemplating the abyss below, the wind whispered tales of countless moments lost to time. In a moment of despair, she let herself fall, surrendering to the void that beckoned. However, just as the precipice became an inevitability, a strong hand gripped her wrist, halting her descent.
Startled, (Y/n) looked up to see Zhongli, his expression a mix of concern and desperation. Accusations formed on her lips, and she spat them out with venom.
"You saved me just to make yourself feel better, didn't you?" she accused, her eyes reflecting the pain that lingered from centuries past. "You should've just let me die. I'm useless to you, just like back then."
Zhongli's grip tightened, but not in restraint. It was a desperate attempt to anchor her to the present. "No, (Y/n), it's not like that. I never meant—"
"Meant? You never appreciated anything I did. You hid the truth about the demise of my loved one just in the name of 'maturity'!" Her words cut through the air, a bitter reminder of the scars he had left on her soul.
Zhongli's eyes welled with tears, the weight of his past actions crashing down on him. "I… I'm sorry," he choked out, the words heavy with regret.
Her anger gave way to a profound sadness, and she felt the tears welling up again. "You should've just let me die in peace," she whispered, her voice a fragile echo of the pain etched into her being.
Zhongli's facade crumbled, and tears streamed down his face. "I never should've treated you that way. It's my fault you hate me. My fault you went through so muc."
As the truth hung heavy in the air, (Y/n) felt a profound exhaustion. The anger, the pain, the centuries of carrying the weight of betrayal—it all seemed too much. Zhongli fell to his knees beside her, reaching out to her in a desperate plea for forgiveness.
"I'm so sorry," he repeated, his voice breaking. "I never realized the pain I caused you."
(Y/n) hesitated, her heart torn between the desire for retribution and the weariness of carrying the burden of hatred. Finally, she sighed, the weight of centuries evident in her eyes.
"I'm tired," she admitted, her voice barely a whisper. As she finally leaned on him, Zhongli wrapped his arms around her, offering the solace of a shared pain.
"I know, (Y/n)," he murmured, his own tears mingling with hers. "I know."
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Days turned into nights, and (Y/n) found herself lingering in Liyue, the city that had been both the stage for her past pain and the unexpected chapter of reconciliation. The wounds of centuries slowly began to heal, stitched together by a newfound understanding and a shared vulnerability.
One evening, as the moon cast a gentle glow through the window, (Y/n) and Zhongli lay side by side, their bodies close yet hearts still mending. The silence that had once been sullen and heavy was now transformed into a peaceful and welcoming embrace.
Zhongli spoke first, his voice carrying the weight of remorse and sincerity. "I never imagined it would come to this," he admitted, his fingers gently tracing patterns on her hand.
(Y/n) sighed, her eyes fixed on the moonlit sky beyond the window. "Neither did I. Centuries of pain and resentment, and now... it feels like a weight has been lifted."
Zhongli nodded, his gaze lingering on her. "I never wanted to be the cause of your suffering. I can't change the past, but I can be better in the present."
(Y/n) turned to face him, her eyes meeting his with a mix of vulnerability and forgiveness. "Maybe we can find a way to move forward together. A new beginning, of sorts."
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