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lillian-gallows · 7 months

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Kinktober Day 15: Shotgunning with Deadpool

Pairing: Deadpool x Nongendered!Reader Word Count: 2201 Warning: Drug use (weed), Shotgunning, Wade's affinity for nicknames, Making out, Lil bit of heavy petting (Over clothes). Kinktober Master(sub)list.

Minors DNI

You and Wade Wilson have a…Unique relationship.

It started simply enough. You were neighbors, your apartment being to the left of his. You’d seen him a few times in passing, weird ass red and black suit and swords and guns, covered in blood on more occasions than not, which he always promised wasn’t his as if that was any comfort.

It didn’t take long for his job as a mercenary to get mentioned, though it was in this quickly mentioned and moved on from way, like when the person you’re talking to already knows a fact, so you touch on it and leave it at that to continue the conversation.

It made the weapons make more sense, but it did nothing to explain the full body suit he wore, though with the way he joked about his “ugly mug” you had a feeling that he may have scars from his work or maybe a birthmark that he didn’t like people to see.

You could respect that, not like it was anyone’s business anyway.

For months the only interactions you had with the man were when your paths crossed in the hallways, stairwell, or at the mailboxes. That is, till he fell through your window one night at three in the morning, covered in blood and missing a whole fucking hand.

He’d thought your window was his.

After panicking, because what the actual fuck, you helped him back to his apartment and basically babysat him while his hand grew back because you didn’t really believe that it would. Then it did.

You know about Mutants, have several friends who are mutants, it was nothing out of the ordinary for you, but this was a lot to take in, especially after being woken from dead sleep.

Wade had offered you some weed to help calm your nerves, and his at having someone in his space but you hadn’t known that at the time.

That was how you two fell into a semi-routine of hanging out once or twice a week to smoke and watch shit T.V.

He’d never taken his mask all the way off, but in order to take hits and eat he’d had to lift it, showing the scars that covered the skin on his chin and mouth, you make a point of not letting your eyes linger on his bare skin, so as not to make him uncomfortable, but the truth was it didn’t bother you.

This particular day you’d been a little late to the sesh because you’d decided to cook instead of order in, food was usually on you since Wade provided the weed, and it was more than a fair trade, and you always either bought or made enough for leftovers. Win, win, win.

You had to kick the door rather than knock, hands too full of the baking dish filled to the brim with lasagna, and the bag full of smaller snacks hanging from your arm.

The door opened a moment later to reveal Wade taking up the while doorway with his broad body, clad in a pair of grey sweats, a black hoodie, and his red and black mask. It always threw you for a loop seeing him in casual clothes but still wearing the mask, but you doubted he had a casual mask he could wear, unless he wanted to wear a ski mask or something, which would be even weirder.

“Hey, sweet thang!” He was grinning as he spoke, energy was infectious as a smile of your own found your face.

“Hey, mind letting me in? Or would you rather eat this off the floor?” You joked as you shifted your hold on the dish.

He moved to let you in, muttering a “I’d eat it off you if you let me.” As you reach the kitchen, the sound of the door closing behind you almost concealing the words.

He said stuff like that a lot. Sometimes you wondered if he actually meant it or if it was one of his ‘boxes’, or just an intrusive thought given voice. You hoped it was the first option but seeing as he never acted on any of it or said it in a way that he thought you’d hear, you assumed it was one of the others and never called attention to it.

You wished he meant it though. In the time since you’d gotten to know the man, in all his insane antics and danger, you also learned he was actually really sweet and thoughtful. He’s also sad, and really lonely. He’s mentioned someone he calls Wolvie being a friend, but usually complains about how mean he is in the same breath, so you’re not sure how many friends Wade actually has.

What you knew for sure though, was that you had the worst schoolgirl style crush on him.

It was a little embarrassing and you hoped it wasn’t obvious. He never said anything about it if it was, not counting his mutterings, but you weren’t going to hold him to words said that you clearly weren’t meant to hear.

It didn’t take long for you to settle into his couch, a cloud of smoke floating over your head as the sound of the T.V. filtered into your ears, the characters on it were in a similar position to you and Wade, smoking and letting the bonelessness take over, only they were clearly the love interest of the movies narrative. You watched as the man leaned in and blew the smoke into the woman’s mouth, a slow and sensual curl of grey that looked like an ethereal kiss.

You knew what shotgunning was, but you’d never had the chance to try it with someone, and you felt your face flush as you imagined doing it with Wade.

“You good there, cherry tomato?” He teased as he passed the joint to you, the second one of the day, and freshly lit.

“Yeah.” You managed, voice sounding a little tight, but you could blame it on lack of breath before taking a hit, the smoke burning its way through your lungs then turning everything soft. You pointed at the T.V. “You ever done that?” You asked without thinking, the weed asking the question for you.

He looked at the T.V., where the pair were still passing smoke between their lips and so close to kissing, then back to you. “What, shotgunning? Yeah, not great for getting high, but really good for getting in someone’s pants.” He chuckled and you could feel his eyes on you, scanning over you like he could tell why you’d asked. “Why? You wanna try it?” He teased.

The question made you jump a little, or it felt like a little, you could have jumped a mile, or you may not have moved at all, it was hard to tell.

Your face scrunched in what you hoped looked like nonchalance. “Nah, just curious is all.” You lied.

You felt his body heat before anything else and when you turned to look at him, his head was tilted, and a smirk planted firmly on his lips.

“That blush says otherwise.” He still sounded teasing, but there was something under it, a low rumble that denoted a seriousness you weren’t used to from the merc.

“So, what if I do?” You shrugged, trying not to give away how your heart was hammering in your chest.

He mimicked your shrug. “If you ask nicely, I might be willing to help you out.”

You rolled your eyes, of course he would find a way to turn this into a game, cheeky bastard.

“Please, oh please, Wade. Won’t you teach me how to shotgun?” You said, calling his bluff with sass dripping from every word.

His smirk spread into a slow grin. “Well, since you asked so politely. Sure, Dollface, I’ll teach ya.” He said, sitting back against the couch once more and patting his lap. “C’mere.”

For as high as you felt moments ago, you now felt jarringly sober now, you hadn’t thought he was being serious, not with the way you both always tease each other, but you found yourself crawling from your spot on the couch with shaky limbs to straddle Wades lap anyway.

You swallowed thickly as your hands came to rest of his shoulders, unsure of where else to put them, while his made themselves perfectly at home on your hips.

As if sensing your nerves, you saw his smile soften. “You know you don’t have to do anything, right? I won’t be offended.” There was something insecure in his words, like he was worried he was the reason you might not want to.

“I wouldn’t have moved if I didn’t want to, Wade.” You answered. “I was pretty comfy.” You smiled and he snorted softly.

“Okay, then.” He said before one of his hands left your hip to pick up the still smoldering joint. “It’s really simple. I take a hit, then we get nice and close, and you inhale when I exhale. Got it?” He asked, holding the roach inches from his lips.

You nodded. “Got it.”

The cherry glowed as he drew in, holding it in his mouth as his other hand found its way to your cheek, tilting your head to line up your mouths, your lips parted in anticipation and your fingers curled into the soft fabric of his hoodie, the muscles under your hands flexed at the action, but there was no reaction beyond that.

Holding the joint away from both of you, he leaned in slowly, you could feel his eyes watching you but all you could look at were his lips, scarred as the rest of what you’ve seen of him, but you could see from the shape that they were once full and pouty.

The smoke curled from between his lips as he blew it gently toward you, and you inhaled as much as you could, what little you missed went twisting up into the air over your head.

He was right when he said this wasn’t very good for getting high, as you held the secondhand smoke and felt it do almost nothing, but with the proximity, the solid press of his body under yours, you understood why the pair on the T.V. had seemed to enamored with each other. You felt drunk on him and nothing had really even happened yet.

Blowing the smoke over your heads to join the rest of the cloud you felt something twitch against your leg, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what it was.

Wade was hard.

“Well? What do you think?” He asked once you looked back at him, his voice was low, just this side of a whisper.

“I don’t know…Think I might need another try, you know, to really decide how I feel about it…” You murmured, eyes flitting between his and his lips.

The corner of his mouth ticked up slightly and he nodded, bringing the joint back to his lips. This time as he exhaled and you inhaled, you felt his cock jump again, and rather than resist the urge, you pressed against him, almost grinding.

Wade’s breath turned shuddery and his hold on you tightened slightly. “That’s just not fair, Babycakes…” He scolded lightly, not actually bothered by your actions.

“Who ever said I play fair?” You countered, smirking down at him, still mere inches from his face.

He nodded slowly, like he was thinking out his next move. “Well, then in that case…” He trailed off before taking hold of your hips once more, and in a motion more fluid than you expected, maneuvering both of your bodies till you were laying on the couch, and he was hovering over you. “I won’t either.”

You stared up at him wide-eyed for a moment as your mind caught up to your body, and when it did, you brought your hands to his face, the muscles there twitched as if resisting a kneejerk reaction, but he didn’t move. “Not gonna touch the mask.” You promised. “But if you don’t kiss me, I think I might just die.”

He leaned even closer, so close you could almost feel his skin. “We can’t have that, now, can we?” He whispered, breath ghosting over your lips, then he made contact.

His lips weren’t as rough as his scars might lead one to think, scar tissue tends to be thick but rather soft, and his was no exception, but you were too busy focusing on just how good a kisser Wade was. Tilting his head to mold his lips to yours, teeth and tongue meeting yours smoothly and even sweetly. It all made your heart soar, and your pussy clench.

Your hands trailed down his body slowly, feeling every dip and curve he had to offer, till you reached the bulge in his pants, giving a careful stroke over the fabric, and earning a pleased hum for your efforts.

“That’s a dangerous game, you sure you wanna play it?” He asked against your lips.

“More than sure.” You answered.

That game was played for the rest of the night, and most of the next day.

#deadpool x reader #wade wilson x reader #kinktober #kinktober 2023

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butcherlarry · 15 days

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Weekly Fic (and Meat) Recs 60

I'M BACK! I had a lovely time on PTO! I went home, visited with family, visited with the cattle, celebrated my birthday, attended a banquet, got a wicked sharp meat cleaver (very excited about this), visited a new arboretum, saw birds, took pictures of birds, and survived the solar eclipse! All and all, a good time all around :) Got some reading done too, so there are fic recs from what I read last week and this week on this list. Also, a meat 101 lesson at the end, USDA beef quality grades edition!

The Brothers Wayne by HaleHathNoFury (My_Trex_has_fleas) - Superbat, wip. An update to the Bruce and Wade Wilson are brothers fic. Some family bonding between the brothers, the only way siblings know how. Beating the shit out of each other :)

Fresh Wounds (Still Cut Deep) by Inkwell1013 - Batfam, complete. A fic inspired by this art from sully-s. Alfred taking care of a newly orphaned Bruce and having no clue what he's doing (except his best).

dead man's party by TheResurrectionist - Batfam, wip. An update to Jason sees ghosts fic (while being haunted by Martha Wayne)

Patroclus by widow_account - Superbat, complete. I shrieked when I saw this fic was completed! I need to go back and reread it again in it's completed glory. Clark is kidnapped and sent to War World to fight. Bruce saves him. Much feels are involved too.

They Also Serve by Ginevra_Benci - Batfam, complete. Alfred wakes up to a surprise, Bruce kidnapping adopting a small angry child (Dick).

Precedent by Cdephiki - Batfam, complete. Damian joins the family early AU! The second fic in the series. This story is about Jason joining the family.

Padam by HaleHathNoFury (My_Trex_has_fleas) - Superbat, wip. More of college Clark at a gay club. Bruce Wayne has entered the chat :)

Just A Little Bit... by HaleHathNoFury (My_Trex_has_fleas) - Superbat, wip. More of eldritch Bruce and alien Clark! A plan is in the making to infiltrate Cadmus. Jason and Dick visit Ivy to ask for help

Unreasonable Love by elizabethgee - Superbat, wip. Bruce and Clark start dating and it is found out by the media. This wouldn't be too much of a problem except the fact that this awakens something in Clark's Kryptonian brain and he gets a little possessive protective of his mate boyfriend :)

shiftwork by TheResurrectionist - Bruce Wayne, complete. A neat fic from an outsider's point of view! Bruce visits one of Wanye Enterprise's worksites.

Oh Can't You See What Love Has Done (What it's Doing to Me?) by dio_icaurtica - Superbat, complete. A fic inspired by this post from frownyalfred!

Patchwork Pod by Ktkat9 - Superbat, Batfam, Superfam, wip. More of the mer Bruce fic! Tim and Bruce are recovering from their injuries.

Azure Catching the Moonlight by RenaiRin - Superbat, wip. Superman gets hit with some pink kryptonite. Be sure to read the tags! :D

Show Me How to Lie (You're Getting Better All The Time) by BookwormByNight - Superbat, wip. A Superman from an other universe shows up in the watchtower. He doesn't want to leave and takes a special interest in Bruce for some reason :)

Bruce Doing Mundane Things by aesthetic_pleasure - Superbat, wip. Exactly what it says in the title. Bruce does mundane things and Clark enjoys watching him do them.

Happy reading!

And now, as promised above:

BEEF QUALITY GRADING 101!

Since I live in the USA, my experience with beef quality grading is with the USDA standards. But, most of these rules (kinda) apply to other countries, they might just have different standards of what carcasses make it into what quality grades (for fun, look up USDA beef marbling cards and then Japanese beef quality grading cards. Marbling that would be acceptable for high quality beef in the US would be considered lower quality in Japan!)

What are USDA beef quality grades? Have you ever been in the grocery store, looked at a package of beef steaks (ribeye, sirloin, strip loin, filets, etc.) and saw a sticker on the package that said "USDA PRIME" or "USDA CHOICE"? That's the beef's quality grade! It determines the worth of the carcass. That, in combination with the Yield Grade (how much sellable meat can a processor/retailer/etc. can get off the carcass) gives you the overall price of the carcass.

There are two major factors that go into determining the quality grade of a carcass, the marbling and the maturity. Marbling is the intramuscular fat (fat inside of the muscle). Since marbling contributes to flavor and tenderness, more marbling is better! Below are the USDA marbling standards for beef carcasses:

The other factor is the maturity of the carcass. This is determined by looking at the ossification (cartilage turning into bone) of the dorsal processes (the long spiny fingers along the back bone) along the spine of the carcass. Look at the cartilage caps in the green boxes in the picture below:

The one on the far left is very white. If you were to scratch it with your fingernail, it would feel smooth. This would be considered an young carcass, or "A" maturity. The more those caps fill with bone, the older the carcass. The one on the far right has those caps completely filled with bone, so that would be considered and older carcasses, or "D" maturity. When a carcass passes into "C" maturity (like the one in the middle), that carcass can no longer be graded in to the higher priced quality grades (USDA Standard to Prime).

The maturity matters because as the animal gets older, they develop more connective tissue in the muscles. This decreases the tenderness of the meat, and consumers don't want to pay more money for tough meat. This is also why meat coming out of the middle of the carcass (along the back, so ribeye and loin) are more expensive. Those muscles have less connective tissue, so they are more tender. The tenderloin (Impress your friends by calling it by it's scientific name, psoas major!) is the most tender muscle on the carcass, so that's why it tends to be the most expensive.

Below is a chart showing what maturities and marbling scores are needed to reach what quality grade. For example, a carcass with "B" maturity and "Modest" marbling would be graded as USDA Choice.

USDA Prime is the highest quality grade a carcass can receive (well, actually USDA High Prime, but I can go more into how that's determined if someone asks about it). The lowest qualty grade you see in a retail store would be USDA Standard. The USDA Commercal, Utility, Cutter, and in the verrrrryyyy tiny corner in the bottom right is Canner. These grades are given to older animals, like old cows and bulls. USDA Commercial might be sold whole muscle (boneless) in restaurants after it has been enhanced (pumped with water, salt, sugar brine to make the meat more flavorful and tender). Otherwise, these carcasses that are lower quality grades are ground up for ground beef! Nothing more tender than ground beef! They can also get canned for canned beef. I have had many delicious meals of beef and noodles from canned beef from my family's herd 😋

As I mentioned before, this quality grade, along with the yield grade, determines the price of the carcass. If you want to check those out, click the link below:

USDA AMS daily beef reports

The report for beef carcass price per hundred weight is the second link down, called "Beef Carcass Price Equivalent Index Value". The USDA Agricultural Marketing Service always has these reports and they are always updating them each day. You will see price fluctuations throughout the year. I looks like for April 12th, the most valuable carcass for that day is a carcass that grades USDA Prime, with a Yield Grade of 1-3, and a hcw (hot carcass weight) of 600-900 lbs. A carcass that hit those standards will get you $297.92 per hundred weight (every 100 lbs, you get that much amount of money). So, a 800 lb carcass that is USDA Prime, Yield Grade 3 is worth $2383.36. This would be considered very rare though. Most carcasses in the US are grading USDA Choice, Yield Grades 1-3.

Anyway! I hope you enjoyed that Beef Grading 101! If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask! I love discussing this!

#weekly fic recs #fic rec list #fic rec #fic recs #fanfic recs #fanfiction recs #fanfiction reccomendations #superbat #batman #bruce wayne #batfam #superman #clark kent #USDA beef quality grading #I used to judge the carcass shows of a lot of county fairs in the state i grew up in while in college #plus i was on and coached my university's meats judging team #so i got to talk about beef quality a lot #and do a lot of beef quality grading #:)

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embroideredcursewords · 1 year

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Baby, You’re a Sunset.

Relationships: Spider-Man/Deadpool. Peter Parker/Wade Wilson.

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Soulmate AU. Soulmark AU. Alternate Universe. Peter Parker needs a hug. Wade Wilson needs a hug. Peter Parker is a sassy little shit. Wade Wilson being inappropriate as always. Scarred Wade Wilson. This is so soft. Bottom!Peter Parker. Top!Wade Wilson. Bottom Peter Parker. Top Wade Wilson. Peter kinda tops from the bottom, though. Power bottom Peter Parker. Fluff and smut. Getting together. Falling in love. Then falling into bed.

Summary: Peter Parker had always been embarrassed about his Soulmark—embarrassed, confused, and honestly a bit pissed off. He and his soulmate would be having words.

//Trigger Warnings: Language. Talk of violence. Sex. Sex without a condom.\\

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Peter Parker had always been embarrassed about his Soulmark—embarrassed, confused, and honestly a bit pissed off. Soulmarks were the universe’s way of evening the scales a bit. Soulmates were, philosophically speaking, a pretty fucked up phenomenon. You have this one chance—this one chance—to find the person you were destined to be with. What if they were dead or on the other side of the world? You’d never know. Peter had seen the effect that could have on people. He’d known a girl in highschool who met her soulmate a month before being killed in a car accident. His aunt had lost her own soulmate and now May felt like dating was pointless.

Still, the romantic in him felt a longing for his soulmate. Mary Jane and Gwen had discovered that they were soulmates in middle school. Gwen had just started that year. She’d been a quiet kid, sitting alone during lunch. Mary Jane slid next to her on the bus, accidentally knocking their arms together. Both of the girls’ bright white marks had swirled with color. Now, the two delighted in communicating through their Soulmarks and leaving everyone else out of the loop. They’d been in seventh grade and already had their entire lovelives sorted. It wasn’t fair. Peter sighed to himself. He didn’t mean to be bitter and jaded, but at twenty-five with a Soulmark like his, he couldn’t help it. Soulmarks were supposed to be this amazing thing, but everytime Peter thought about his own, he felt miserable.

“Spidey!”

A loud bang shook Peter out of his thoughts. He located the disturbance, then rolled his eyes.

“Deadpool.”

The mercenary had practically been stalking him the past few months. At first, Peter had avoided him like the plague. Last week, though, there was a shift in the air. Deadpool had taken a bullet for him, and now Peter felt indebted to him—even though, technically, Deadpool was immortal. Taking a bullet was closer to a splinter than a sacrificial action for the maniac. Still, Peter was putting up with his presence these days despite literally everyone telling him what a bad idea that was. It was easier to think of Deadpool as an annoying puppy. He followed too closely, had WAY too much energy, and occasionally drooled but if Peter kicked him, he’d be a monster. However irritating Deadpool was, he was pretty useful on patrols. The thorn in Peter’s side was currently unpacking several paper bags and lining up tons of take-out. Deadpool did have his uses.

“I didn’t know what you were in the mood for tonight—because you refuse to answer my texts—so I brought Mexican, Chinese, Thai, and Italian.”

“I don’t answer your texts because you refuse to call me Spider-Man. I made myself perfectly clear on Tuesday.” Deadpool managed to pout in such a way that Peter could see it through the mask. “Don’t start with me, Pool. I’ve had a bad day.”

“What happened? Do you need me to kill somebody?”

Peter glared at Deadpool.

“Why is that always your first response? No. I do not want you to kill anybody. That’s the point of this whole ‘rehabilitation’ experiment. You kill someone, we’re done.”

“You know, ultimatums aren’t the way to get what you want in a relationship. I have the marriage counselor on speed dial.”

“This is not a relationship. It’s just an experiment.”

“Okay, Katy Perry, calm down.”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

Deadpool immediately pulled out his phone and I Kissed A Girl began blasting through the tinny speakers. Peter sighed, but rolled his mask up and began to eat before the food got cold. Deadpool had insisted on eating either before or after patrols. He called it “bonding time.” Peter had accepted this term with little resistance. His enhanced speed, stamina, and healing came with a monstrous appetite and he was usually broke. Eating with Deadpool meant one less meal he had to pay for. He felt a bit guilty for letting the mercenary pay, but Deadpool always insisted. It was nice in a way that irritated Peter. It irritated him because things like this made it harder to hate Deadpool.

“Seriously, Webhead. If you wanna talk about it, I’m here.”

Peter paused. On the one hand, he was pretty against telling Deadpool anything personal about himself. The man was a trained mercenary and he quite literally made a living off of tracking people down. On the other hand, it was a pretty hidden part of his life. It wasn’t like he went around and told everyone about his Soulmark. Only a handful of people knew about it. The rest of the world believed that Peter Parker had no soulmate. He liked it better that way. It might be nice to vent about it for once.

“It’s just… nothing happened. I’ve just been upset. It’s stupid.”

“Upset about what?” Deadpool spoke around a mouthful of food. Peter had gotten pretty used to the scars, but the way they stretched around his full mouth were a bit distracting. “And it’s not stupid. You’re upset, that’s valid as hell, babe.”

Peter took his own massive, sullen bite. However, he wasn’t raised in a barn so he chewed and swallowed before replying.

“I’ve been upset about my Soulmark. Like it’s been there forever, so I’m mostly used to it, but once in a while… I just get so irritated.”

“Why?”

God, he was like a toddler sometimes.

“It’s… in an embarrassing place.”

“Oh.”

Deadpool continued to eat, letting the silence linger for a few minutes. It was weird to see the mercenary being quiet for once. It made Peter uneasy.

“Well? Gonna tell me how ungrateful I am? How there are thousands of people out there who would kill for my Soulmark? How I should just be happy I have a soulmate at all?”

“Nah. Just ‘cus one person would want it doesn’t mean you have to.” Peter’s mouth snapped shut. Deadpool continued to eat before pulling his mask up a bit further and turning to face Peter. “I kinda understand. I mean, my soulmate is gonna slap me.”

Sure enough, a white handprint marked the left side of Deadpool’s face. The mark swiped down towards his mouth. That definitely looked like a slap.

“I mean, it could be something else…”

Peter tried his best to be convincing. Deadpool just shook his head.

“Nah. Thanks, but it’s definitely a slap. You know me, it definitely makes sense. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna hit me?”

Peter felt something like guilt settle in his stomach in response to the self-deprecating joke. He’d been a bit of a jerk to Deadpool. The man had to take a bullet for Peter to stop avoiding him. Deadpool noticed his frown and chuckled.

“It’s fine, really. Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours.”

“You don’t know what my head looks like.”

“Yeah, but I just know you’re gorgeous under there.”

————————————————————————

Peter glanced around the apartment. It was surprisingly clean. He’d expected a total disaster. It was his first time in Wade’s apartment. They’d been patrolling together for a couple months and Peter had officially given up the ghost. Wade was his friend. There was no use fighting it any more. He’d been invited over to watch a movie after patrol. Wade was in the shower, singing at the top of his lungs. Peter tried valiantly not to smile. He failed. There was just something so endearing about it. Sure, Wade was still irritating. But these days, Peter laughed along more often than he rolled his eyes. He could hear the water being turned off as Wade continued to get cleaned up. Peter continued to explore.

The apartment was massive. It would take some serious money to rent this place. The kitchen had one of those fancy islands in it. Peter grabbed a beer from the fridge, took one drink, and decided he was not a beer person. Awkwardly, he carried the nasty thing with him from room to room. The dining area held a table decorated with an old lady tablecloth. Peter ran his hand over the worn lace. He wondered where Wade got it. Maybe it was a family heirloom or something. The living room had a giant TV with the most comfortable-looking couch Peter had ever seen. He sunk into the cushions with a grateful sigh. It had been a long day. Wade sat beside him, turning on the TV to scroll through Disney Plus.

“Whatcha wanna watch?”

“I dunno. Something good.”

“Well, that certainly narrows it down.” Wade threw a sarcastic look his way. Peter enjoyed these moments where he went without the mask. Some day, maybe he could go without his own mask. Some day.

“Fine, then. Let’s watch Hercules.”

Wade nodded, appeased, and the movie began to play. Peter started falling asleep part-way through. Wade woke him back up and brought a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt for him to wear. He changed in the bathroom, and for a real moment, debated going without his mask. He’d finally be able to get the jump on Wade. Lately, his Spider-Sense had not been working around Deadpool and he was getting pretty cocky about it. Wade knocked on the door to make sure he hadn’t somehow fallen asleep while changing. Peter looked at himself in the mirror, fussing with his hair and hoping against all odds that it would obey him for once.

“Fuck it.”

“What? Fuck what? I wanna know what we’re fucking!”

Peter opened the bathroom door, mask in hand.

“It’s Peter.”

Wade stared at him in a strange mix of awe and confusion.

“We’re fucking Peter? Who’s Peter?”

He blushed.

“No, me. I’m Peter.” Then, he added quickly: “And we’re not fucking me.”

“See? I knew you’d be gorgeous under there!”

Peter rolled his eyes, blush still firmly in place as I Won’t Say I’m In Love blared from the living room tv.

————————————————————————

It was nearly a year later when the topic of soulmates came up again. Peter had invited Wade over, against his best judgment, and was being scolded as usual about the lack of food in the fridge. After takeout had been ordered (paid for by Wade, despite Peter’s habitual argument) and the game system was set up. Wade sat far away from Peter, as usual. Through the year of their friendship, Wade had refused to risk any sort of physical touch, and it was confusing for Peter. They’d grown so close over time that every super, villain or hero, counted them as a pair. It was rare for Peter to patrol alone these days. It only ever happened when Wade was “out of town.” He didn’t ask about those trips for his own peace of mind, but he couldn’t help but pay special attention to the news. As far as he could tell, Wade had been sticking to his promise. He hadn’t killed anyone since their agreement.

Though Peter didn’t know it, when Wade took a job he made sure to specify that maiming would be the furthest he’d go for a client. Weasel had almost had an aneurism when Wade broke the news. He’d been the biggest moneymaker for Sister Margaret’s, but according to Weasel he’d been “pussywhipped” by Spider-man. Wade took great offense to this and had informed Weasel that he’d actually been “dickwhipped” and that he planned on continuing that state until Spider-man broke down and fucked him. These days, though, Wade had felt a bit less randy and a bit more enamored. The more he learned about Peter, the more he was convinced that a one night stand could never be enough. In the words of Trisha Yearwood, he was gonna “marry that boy someday.” It was that same selfish urge that had prevented him from any physical contact with Peter. When he’d learned of Peter having a soulmark, all those months ago, a seed of pitiful and useless hope had sprouted in his heart. He was afraid to touch Peter now, for fear of squashing that hope when his soulmark would inevitably remain white. And yet, the sight of Peter curled up on the other end of the couch, clutching his remote and snickering as he sent a blue shell at Wade… He wanted nothing more than to throw caution to the wind, sweep Peter off his feet, and carry him off to the sunset.

“Gotcha, bitch!” Peter shouted excitedly as he took first place.

“You got me, alright.” Wade smiled softly. Peter glanced sideways at him.

Suddenly, the game was paused. Wade turned to look at him quizzically.

“What’s going on, Wade? Usually you’re almost as competitive as I am.”

“For the record, I am way more competitive than you are.”

“It’s not a competition, Wade. My point was—“

“It is so a competition. Everything’s a competition. See, this is exactly why I’m more competitive than you are.”

“Wade.” Peter said with a soft warning in his voice. Wade quieted. “What’s going on in that crazy head of yours?”

“I was just thinking about soulmarks.”

Peter looked at him with surprise.

“Soulmarks? What made you think about that?”

Wade gestured to his own mark.

“Hard not to think about, with this plastered on my face.”

Peter nodded sympathetically.

“I feel you.”

“I wish you would—“ Wade’s lecherous comment was interrupted.

“I thought Vanessa was your soulmate?”

Wade was quiet for a few minutes, memories of his previous happy life with Vanessa.

“She was.”

“She never touched your face?”

“Vanessa’s soulmark was on my chest.”

Again, Peter was surprised.

“You had two soulmarks? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that happening.”

Sometimes, people had more than two soulmates, but they only ever had one mark. Peter had known three soulmates in elementary school. Each bore a matching soulmark. They’d all three been playing Red Rover at recess one day. The touch of the first soulmate had only added half the color, the second touch had filled in the gaps. Still, only one mark.

“I only had the one when she was alive. Then when she…” Wade trailed off, his voice cracking with grief. Peter moved to comfort him, but Wade shook his head and stood, putting more distance between them. Peter felt a sharp sting through his heart.

“I know I’m not her. But Jesus, Wade. I can’t even hold your hand?”

“It’s not about her.”

“Then what the fuck is it about?”

Wade gestured to his face, beginning to pace anxiously.

“I don’t want you to touch me.” He began quietly. Peter probably wouldn’t have heard if it weren’t for his superhearing. “I don’t think I can handle knowing that you aren’t my—just fucking forget it.”

Peter froze.

“You want me to be your soulmate.” Wade stayed silent. “Wade—“

“No, don’t tell me. I know. I know I’m the last person on earth you’d be soulmates with.” He laughed bitterly, sarcasm clouding his words. “Wouldn’t that be fucking perfect. New York’s golden boy! The friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, soulmates with a fucking murderer.”

“Wade, please—“

“No, it’s fine. I get the message, Webs. I really do.”

“Would you just shut the fuck up and listen!” Peter yelled. Wade stilled. “Wade, you absolute moron! I want you to be my soulmate so fucking bad. I love you, dumbass! I love you and it kills me because I know I’m not your soulmate! You wanna know how I know?”

Wade spun around to face him.

“How do you know?” Hope lit up his eyes, shattering Peter’s heart as tears stung his eyes.

“Because I would never slap you, Wade! And my soulmark…” He trailed off. Wade didn’t push it. Instead, he plopped onto the couch, head in his hands. Peter scooted closer, careful not to touch. Still, there was hope in his chest. He couldn’t help it. He studied Wade’s soulmark, the way it seemed almost undeniable. The way it slid so neatly downwards. Peter had been slapped. The redness on his face had looked the same. And yet…

“Oh, Wade.” Peter said in a whisper, tears blurring his vision. He shut his eyes, unable to stop his hand from reaching out and touching Wade’s cheek. His hand slid as Wade startled, Peter thumbed his lower lip gently. “I wish we were soulmates. I love you. I love you so much.”

“Peter… Babyboy.” Wade’s hand settled low on his waist, more on his ass than anything, and Peter suddenly felt a pleasant sort of burning sensation. He gasped. “I think we are.”

Peter’s eyes snapped open, greeted by color swirling and blooming, bordered by Wade’s lovely scars. His hand fell from Wade, yanking up his shirt while his other pushed at the waistband of his pants. Sure enough, the warm sensation was accompanied by his own soulmark blooming. Wade had tears in his eyes now. He gazed at Peter with such tenderness, he almost couldn’t stand it. Peter’s hand softly cupped his cheek again.

“I didn’t slap you.”

Wade let out a choking sob.

“No. No, you were so gentle.”

Peter’s lips met his for a mere moment. The softest kiss in the history of kisses.

“You deserve gentleness.”

As he shuffled forward, Wade’s hand slipped under his shirt, under the waistband of his pants, and settled firmly over his soulmark. Peter’s breath hitched as Wade gripped his ass softly, nearly falling forward to land in Wade’s lap. Their mouths met again, starting so soft and gentle that Peter’s eyes began watering again. Heat crept into the corners of their kiss. It started as an ember, slowly building to a raging inferno. Wade began kneading at Peter’s ass, each push and pull brushing the two against each other. Peter’s lips fell open and Wade’s tongue licked into his mouth like a fire. Their breath came in short, panting bursts as they both began to grow desperate for one another. Finally, Peter pulled away and Wade let out a whine, only to wolf whistle as he yanked off his shirt. Wade did the same and Peter’s hands ran down his chest. Among the scars, one stood out. It was a handprint, blackened. Peter let out a slow breath. This was Vanessa’s mark. Wade kissed and nipped along his jaw, swiftly distracting him. They could talk about that later.

Peter’s hips ground against Wade’s, both groaning in the pleasure a simple movement could give. Their hands only pulled away to tear off clothes.

Soon enough, they sat fully bare and vulnerable. Wade let his eyes roam hungrily along Peter’s naked body, and Peter did the same. Wade was gorgeous, and he told him just that. Wade’s soulmark positively glowed, golden with happiness. Peter’s did the same. When it became a beautiful rose gold, Wade could have cried. Despite all odds, Peter loved him. Peter loved him, and he was happy. Kisses were peppered gently along Wade’s face and suddenly, he couldn’t wait anymore. His strong arms swept Peter up and carried him off. The bedroom wasn’t exactly the sunset, but their soulmarks could outshine even the most gorgeous sunset. Peter bounced lightly as Wade collapsed on the bed. Wade groaned at the extra friction. When Peter’s soft hand joined their dicks together, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Oh, god. Wade—“ Peter sighed. His head lolled back, his hips wiggling against Wade’s.

“I need you, too, baby.”

Peter grinned, releasing their members as he swung his leg off of Wade’s lap.

“You’re gonna need to prep me, big boy.”

Wade moaned before sitting up to face his soulmate. His soulmate! God! He rummaged through the bedside table for a minute before pulling out a bottle of lube. Peter blushed as Wade held up a rather large dildo with a smirk.

“Are you a size queen, baby? Or were you trying to prepare for me, hm?”

“Both.” Peter answered honestly. He laughed when Wade held it up to his own dick to compare the size. “Alright, alright! Dick-measuring contest later! I need you to fuck me now.”

“Yes, sir!” Wade saluted with the dildo before dropping it back in the drawer and rejoining Peter on the—rather small, he should really buy Peter a new one—bed. His soulmate, and Wade would never, ever get tired of calling him that, rolled onto his stomach and pushed up onto his hands and knees. Wade groaned as Peter turned his head to smile at him.

“Keep smiling at me like that and I’ll give you anything.”

“Currently, I want your cock. Can you hurry up and give me that?”

Wade slicked up his fingers in response, taking the time to circle Peter’s hole gently.

“Ahhh, Wade. Been waiting for this.”

Wade let his finger slip in to the first knuckle.

“How long have you been waiting, babyboy?”

“About a year.”

Wade groaned.

“Jesus. Bet you’re all pent up, hm?”

“So pent up, Wade.”

Another groan and Wade added another finger, beginning to gently scissor them as he fucked his soulmate with his hand.

“Love it when you say my name.”

“I love you, Wade.”

“Fuck me, I love you too, Peter.”

The third finger slipped in, searching for Peter’s prostate.

“Wade, if you don’t put your cock in me now, I’m going to cum on your fingers and go to sleep.”

The threat was an effective one. Wade pulled his fingers free before searching for a condom. Peter shook his head.

“I don’t think either of us could carry anything. Healing factors are a wonder, aren’t they?”

Wade wasn’t about to argue. He added some lube to his hand before slicking up his own cock and guiding it to Peter’s hole. His hips inched forward, slowly filling his soulmate up. Peter’s breath got faster with each gentle push. Wade’s hand captured Peter’s cock, stroking slowly to distract him from any potential stretch. It took a minute before he bottomed out, being sure to give his soulmate enough time to adjust.

“Ah, Wade. Yes! Uhnn, god. Feel so full.” He wiggled his hips back against Wade before sinking onto the bed. “Think you can flip me around without taking your cock out?”

“Fuck, you’re perfect. Can’t be without my cock for a moment, can you?”

Peter grinned back at him.

“Can you be without me?” He squeezed down around Wade, choking a groan out of him.

“Good point.” Wade sort of pinwheeled Peter onto his back, keeping his cock buried deep. He waggled his eyebrows. Peter laughed.

“You did it! I knew you could do it.”

Wade smiled, pulling Peter’s legs to rest around his waist, and he moved. He started making love, his hips starting a deep, slow pace. Peter groaned, his hands gripping the sheets before Wade leaned down to rest his weight on his elbows. They kissed softly, both hands moving to touch soulmarks. Wade thoroughly enjoyed the gentle lovemaking. His heart felt tender as Peter matched his pace with his own hips. Wade groaned into the kiss as Peter sighed in time with his thrusts. It was sweet and slow, yet filled with passion. He gripped Peter’s ass as his thrusts became harder and faster, panting only interrupted by moans. Peter’s legs gripped his waist, hand stroking his own cock in time. Wade was getting close, and by the sounds of Peter’s broken cries, he was too. Wade came with a shout, jerking his hips in the aftershocks. Peter quickened his strokes, but Wade batted his hand away. He was given a disgruntled noise before he moved downwards, taking Peter into his mouth. It didn’t take long, and frankly in his post-orgasm state it wasn’t his best work, but Peter soon crumbled inwards as he reached his own peak. Wade swallowed every drop like it was ambrosia.

They fell back together, spent, sweating, and smiling. Wade pulled Peter into his arms and his hand found it’s place on his ass. Peter’s hand gently stroked his cheek. They were silent for a few minutes, basking in the afterglow of their love. Wade, as expected, broke the silence.

“Spider-Man is my fucking soulmate!”

“Speaking of fucking, Wade… How do you feel about fucking me upside down?”

Wade groaned through a smirk as he forced himself up and off the bed, Peter’s laugh ringing pleasantly in his ears.

#Peter Parker/Wade Wilson #spider man/deadpool #peter parker x wade wilson #Spider-Man x Deadpool #smut #fluff and smut #ao3fic #spideypool

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sarah-sandwich-writes · 1 year

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Original Fiction

Wildflowers of Deliverance (three-part series)

Red, like my bleeding heart in your hand - 25k (complete--editing) novella prequel (the childhood years) - Follow Nash, his sister Jo, and his best friend Teddy in Deliverance, TN as they take on bullies and grow together, only to be ripped apart before they reach their potential

Blue, like don't forget about me - 60k (complete--editing) queer romance - Twenty years after Nash and Teddy lost touch, they reunite at a funeral and find all of the too-big feelings from childhood are still there, bubbling under the surface

Violet, like these delights - 50k~ (outlining) sequel to Blue - Jo's POV, coming of age in your 30's - Jo gets the freedom she thought she always wanted and finds, it kind of sucks actually

Woolen Hollow - Drafting Percolating - fantasy, magic systems, found family, accidental chosen one; a story about choice, family, and that weird forest kingdom girl who's obsessed with fortune tellers

Hot Air Balloon Town (working title - percolating) - In a small town famous for their hot air balloon museum and annual festival, a young woman decides she's going to break the world record for highest altitude in an open basket. However, the ghost in town is complicating things.

FanFiction

Spideypool (Peter Parker/Wade Wilson)

Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) -- slowburn soulmates au where friendship is magic (or the one where Peter and Wade are literal soulmates but don't realize it for literal years because they're literal idiots)

The Little Barnacle -- Peter panics and botches Wade's proposal by proposing first like the babbling disaster man he is. He also turned out hella aro and this was his choice.

GwenMJ (Gwen Stacy/Michelle Jones)

michelle.mp3 -- Michelle breaks up with Peter and retreats to her grandma's house in the country to lick her wounds and meets Gwen, her insufferable neighbor who also happens to be the drummer and songwriter who upended her perfectly adequate life and is apparently back for more.

Parkner (Peter Parker/Harley Keener)

*deep breath*

Freak Out 'Verse -- It starts with a kidnapping, evolves through a summer romance, and ends with a portal to another dimension, team dynamics, and... shit tits? am i reading this right? ...really? Yeah folks it says shit tits what the fuck

Peaches 'Verse -- It starts with Abbie and Harley. It starts with leaving. It ends with Abbie and Harley and Peter and May. It ends with a room and choosing to stay.

The Distance Between (You and Me) -- Harley struggles to get a grip on his PTSD while his kidnappers are still out there, the board of directors at Stark Industries are looking for any excuse to deny him his future right to inherit the company, and his "bodyguard" drives him up the fucking wall.

For the First Time, Eye to Eye -- Peter and Harley have a lot of shit to work through and Harley's family reunion (while they pretend to be boyfriends of five years rather than workplace rivals), is not the time or place. And yet...

Lemon Boy -- Post-Endgame (sorry) Harley takes in Peter as a roommate to help with expenses while he remodels his deceased uncle's house. Both grieving in their own way, they eventually learn to see the other clearly--through the mask and despite the barriers.

Parkner One-Shots

Heart (in hand) Home (in you) - 2.5k - Harley-centric sick fic

An Insignificant Problem - 1.2k - De-aged!Peter; Fed-up!Harley

Wouldn't Dream of It - 2.3k - Harley-centric alien goo induced trip down memory lane

The Human Kind - 3.7k - Spidey and Laddie play hide and seek :) (mind the tags!)

Undercover? I thought you said under covers... - 3.7k - what it says on the tin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Peter, no - 3.4k - Peter is an awful outdoorsman. Harley is in love with him.

Rhythm and Blues - 1.3k - Flash POV! He's stuck late at school and sees something he isn't supposed to.

No Need to Rush - 5.3k - It's simple: Harley loves Peter. Yet complicated: Peter loves Harley.

Second Chances for Second Guessers - 3.7k - Peter is a flighty little whimp afraid of falling in love

Pete, I'm Fake Drunk and Wanna Go Home - 2.9k - Peter needs a night off and Harley has a fool-proof plan to make him take one

The Devil is a Hopeless Romantic - 2k - tried to write angst. it's only okay

Completely and utterly devoid of sex appeal - 1.7k - Peter has the hots for Harley when he wears a certain outfit. Unfortunately it's his work uniform. And they work together.

Fake Romance Crap - 3.4k - sure he fake married me an hour ago, but do you think he likes me?

Apeshit - 2.1k - A Freak Out 'Verse one-shot written for the prompt: You know what, maybe they ARE tired of being nice. Maybe they DO wanna go apeshit.

adventures with hair dye and feelings — In Space! - 8.7k - 5 times Harley and Peter don’t kiss +1 time they do (in space!) Written for the combined prompts: 8) every single kiss so far has been a disaster but it's really funny and 46) don't have a one night stand with your coworker on the spaceship

Put in the Work - 54.7k - Rated M - fka the nasa au, now with minimal nasa (sorry). Harley built his whole life around two things: his daughter and his career at NASA. It's nothing but bad luck that he's laid off at the same time Hazel is pushing for independence. To cope, he falls back on his usual stress-relief, hotel sex with a hot stranger, but bad luck arrives in threes and it's definitely bad luck to fall in love with your one-night stand. If only he had a friend to vent to other than his sister, his daughter, and his strange quasi-friendship with Spider-Man via twitter…

Come on, take a joyride - 6.8k - 5 times Harley takes Peter for a ride +1 time Peter takes Harley

Free Pass - 9k - Rated E - a smutty New Year's Eve one-shot that got plot in it somehow...

another time, a difference place (I have loved you before) - ??? - In-progress (I'm posting as I go for once) - Endgame parkner fix it fic. Peter and Harley were together inside the soul stone. Unfortunately, neither of them remember anything and these frequent bouts of deja vu are getting weird.

Coming Up...

Baseball Smut - Rated E - parkner one-shot. Baseball uniforms are sexy, okay?

Your Mom Freaked Out - ??? - An addition to the Freak Out 'Verse that occurs sometime before the final scene of You're Freaking Out's epilogue. Harley gets blasted with temporal rays when Peter and Tony's time machine experiment goes wrong. It's just his luck that he wakes up handcuffed with Officer Benjamin Parker sitting at his bed side...

Not Spider-Man 4: Bring it on Home (working title) - ??? (LONG) - Gen fic (no romantic parkner), Harley-centric, trans ftm!Harley, canon compliant, post NWH - Harley built his own Iron Man armor and he uses it Robin Hood style to keep Rose Hill from blinking out on the map. Abbie thought she was helping by sneaking off to meet with reporter Betty Brandt and her photographer, Peter Parker, to shed some light on the dire situation in small towns like Rose Hill post-blip and the extremes people like her brother go to to keep people fed and healthy. But getting kidnapped is rarely considered helpful.

Spider-Man 4: Bring it on Home - ??? - Peter/Michelle - Sequel to Not SM4: BioH - Michelle POV (maybe with some Peter POV too--i'll decide when I actually get to writing it hah) -- Inspired by the events of Not SM4, Peter sets out to Boston get his friends back. Meanwhile, Michelle is trying to solve the mystery of why she and Ned have gaping holes in their memories. Ned has it worse than she does and has the therapy and medical bills to prove it, which is all the more reason for her to get to the bottom of this before his episodes get any worse. She's positive she could have solved it by now if not for the universe throwing constant distractions in her face--like the cute guy that recently started frequenting the shop where she works. And what the hell is Spider-Man doing outside of New York. One mystery at a time, Em. You'll figure it out. You always do.

We Were Gods (we were kids) - 100k~ - parkner childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to superheroes fighting on opposite sides to reluctant allies to lovers (this is the OG OG Blue like don't forget about me, back to its roots)

#UPDATED: 03/09/2024 #masterpost #writeblr intro #parkner #spideypool #this isn't going to show up anywhere due to the 75 billion links but here we are #finally decided to make one without out a metric fuck ton of images #even tho i worked really hard on those images #and i love them #*sigh*

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lacrimosathedark · 2 years

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Does Deadpool Collect Kids?

Here I am in Spideypool Hell, which results in me looking at the closest people to both of them. I sort of grew up with Spider-Man (video games, cartoons, and movies long before I ever touched a comic) so of course I’m looking at Deadpool first. Who doesn’t love new information? Treading old ground is boring!

(Also Spiderverse shit is confusing. So. Many. Spiders.)

And I came to the realization that Wade’s kind of...surrounded by kids.

Of course he has a kid (multiversely he has a few) but he’s close with more than just that kid.

So here is what I think of as Wade Wilson’s Pseudo-Family aka Kids Who Put Up With His Shit. Be prepared for way too many pictures.

Eleanor Camacho

This adorable baby is Ellie. She’s eight-ish years old (maybe nine or ten now? comic book time is weird) and currently Wade’s only canon child in main continuity. Her whole situation is a bit complicated, but Wade loves her more than anything in the world. And actually, she was a lowkey fan of Deadpool before she knew he was her dad. She loves her dad and she even goes behind her foster mom’s back to try to get him to visit, said foster mom being SHIELD Agent Emily Preston. Wade has forgotten she exists (again) to protect her (AGAIN) but she watches news reports about him and actually interfered with a killing mission he had in a theme park her class happened to have a field trip to.

She’s a baby Spideypool shipper too.

Ellie is Wade’s weak spot, and he only tells people about her if he trusts them. The ones that come to mind are people he likes, namely Shiklah, Spidey, and Rogue, as well as two kids further down on this list. Wolverine and Captain America know too, but because they were part of the mission where he found out about her. Super Soldier team-up.

Also, here’s her in the future. She’s a badass.

I love her so much.

Warda Wilson

(Full disclosure, I did minor editing on this panel because this is the one image of her full body without her mask and they gave her pupils that she has in no other panels and it bothered me so I fixed it)

Wade’s daughter in the 2099 future with his ex-wife, succubus and monster queen Shiklah, and she goes by Deadpool. She had a vendetta against Wade at first for supposedly betraying Shiklah and held him captive. But Ellie rescued him, they cleared things up, and they work together as a family, all three of them, plus brain-ghost Preston.

Deathpool

Exclusive to the video game Marvel Strike Force, but she’s so neat I had to include her. Literally born from “the power of love” between Deadpool and Death, she takes over her mom’s job but is a total daddy’s girl; he trained her to wield weapons and be a quippy little shit, and until he was snapped by Thanos because he’s got issues, she’d visit him on occasion.

(She doesn’t have a canon “normal” name, but I like the name Evita Wilson. It rearranges the letter of the word “vitae” which is Latin for “life” and y’know irony. Plus Evita is the name of both a musical and a Madonna album and you cannot tell me Wade wouldn’t love that)

Itsy Bitsy

Not a friendly, but biologically his daughter (and Spidey’s) from Evil Science Shenanigans. Formerly Susan Mary, a play on “Mary Sue”. She calls both of them “daddy” and even wears a Spiderpool emblem shirt. She’s pretty extreme. Bloodthirsty. Wade actually had to stop Spidey from killing her because Peter was so scared of her and someone was messing with his head. He cut Wade’s head off to try to keep him from interfering. It was kinda nuts. Wade ended up doing what he thought was killing her to keep Spidey’s hands clean. She’s not gone though...

Master Matrix

Another Spideypool kid, no shit. A good one too! And a rare boy on this list! A robot of some type discovered by Richard and Mary Parker, so already hitting home for Peter. After a short villainous confusion after waking from stasis, he was basically taken under Spider-Man’s and Deadpool’s wings and called them both “Father”. The arc is literally officially titled “My Two Dads”. They act like his parent and it’s just *chefs kiss* It’s a whole thing. MM gives off weird vibes, but all in all, he just wants to help. He’s a good boy!

He even gets them to hug!

He then proceeds to send them on a bonding road trip with just...so much Spideypool. That’s where the “Why are you holding my hand?” “It helps me focus.” comes from. And so much fourth-wall breaking and writer interference. Spidey even plays along with Wade’s fourth-wall-breaking shenanigans even though he doesn’t believe it. It’s the best.

Now we move to ones who aren’t his kids!

Gwendolyne Poole

Gwenpool and Deadpool weren’t chummy at first; she didn’t read his book and thought he was too “lol memes”. But they actually got to be pretty friendly. They’re buddies now.

He helped Gwen when she was having an existential crisis and is currently the caretaker of her pet Jeff the Land Shark who is the cutest thing and I love him. He even dresses as Gwen once to make Jeff happy it’s adorable.

I also think he rocks Gwen’s look. He looks great.

Ellie Phimister

Everyone knows about Negasonic Teenage Warhead from the movies where they have that affectionate deadpan snark between them. When they first met, Wade’s group had been contracted to kidnap her. She evaded everyone else, but when met with Deadpool who literally tried to talk her into being kidnapped, she had a vision where he said he wouldn’t leave her behind, and she literally just surrenders.

When Wade finds out what is happening to his targets, he goes in to save her. She has a particular loyalty to Wade and sticks by him pretty much no matter what, but she gradually settles into that deadpan sarcasm.

She takes his nonsense with a straight face and doesn’t tolerate his bullshit. Or at least snarks right back at him.

She’s also one of the few who for sure know about the other Ellie, Eleanor, and looks out for her.

Gabrielle Kinney

A little unexpected, but adorable! Gabby Kinney, also known as Scout or Honey Badger, which is amazing. She don’t give a FUCK. She’s a clone of Laura Kinney, aka X-23 and Wolverine, who is another clone daughter of Logan/James/OG Wolverine. She and Wade bonded over their scars and they’re besties now.

There aren’t a whole lot of instances of Wade and Gabby together, but every SINGLE one is absolute gold. They’re so fucking CUTE. Prepare for so many panels.

Have you seen anything more precious? Best friends.

Evan Sabahnur

Formerly Kid Apocalypse, also known as Genesis. Long story, but pretty much explained in the above page. Wade in particular was determined to save him, as killing him didn’t sit right for some reason, and he was certain that despite everything, Evan was a good kid. When shit went down and Evan didn’t think he could return to the Academy, Wade took him in. Like, brought him to the home he bought across the street from Eleanor and the Prestons.

Wade even says he’ll never have a son, (this is before MM, but it’s funny cuz biologically and multiversely, he does only have daughters) but if he did he’d like him to be like Evan, which is hilarious to me. But that kinda makes what Wade says super sweet.

He also saves Ellie.

Haruka Hida

From Deadpool Samurai, she goes by Sakura-Spider and is a blatant Peter Parker rip-off. Literally she lives with her Aunt Mei and her Uncle Tsutomu which the kanji can also be read as Ben. No shit. The only real difference is the spider bit her on her face and it scarred, hence the spots under her eye. BUT she’s Deadpool’s partner in Japan and she’s super cute. Typical manga protag girl but what can you expect?

(Legit buy them they’re super fun and it’s worth it especially if you like manga it’s so dumb and I love it please buy it)

Neiro Aratabi

Another Deadpool: Samurai character. As said above, she’s an idol in Japan. She’s bonded to an amnesiac symbiote she calls Kage (in case you aren’t up on Japanese, it’s pronounce like “kah-gay” and it means shadow). They like chocolate. She doesn’t get a lot of screen time, but she’s happy being part of the team. She’s content as long as people think she’s cute, for, of course, over-dramatic very anime reasons.

That is ELEVEN CHILDREN. And I’m a newb, this might not even be all of the kids he’s close to!

For comparison, Bruce Wayne has SIX kids (Dick, Jason, Cass, Tim, Duke, and Damian). He has a few other pseudo-kids, Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown, and maybe Helena Bertinelli and Maps Mizoguchi, but like...dude.

I need everyone to know that Deadpool is good with kids.

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hellfirecoded · 6 days

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( JOSEPH QUINN | CIS-MALE | HE/HIM | TWENTY-FIVE ) — — — it's just been another long week in boring - ass hawkins. isn't that right, EDDIE MUNSON ? shit, i guess they can't hear me over THE LAST IN LINE by DIO playing through the headphones of their walkman. it looks like they're gonna be late for WORK as BARTENDER/MUSICIAN at THE HIDEOUT. did you know EDDIE has been in hawkins for HIS WHOLE LIFE ? yeah, their family and friends describe them as PASSIONATE, but i've seen them be OBNOXIOUS too ! i would also say they remind me of late night drives with the windows down, band tees and leather jackets, and bulky rings on every finger but is that weird ? i guess nothing's too weird for this little town, huh ?

THE CAMPAIGN.

full name — edward alan munson.

nickname(s) — eddie, ed, kid, freak, murderer.

age — twenty - five.

date of birth — october 13.

place of birth — hawkins, indiana.

current location — hawkins, indiana.

pronouns — he/him.

sexual orientation — undecided.

education level — high school graduate.

residence — forest hills trailer park.

familial connections — alan munson ( father / incarcerated ) , elizabeth 'lizzie' franklin-munson ( mother / deceased ), wayne munson ( uncle / legal guardian ).

THE DUNGEON MASTER.

mbti — ENTP ( the debater ).

positive traits — original, charismatic, protective, energetic, quick-witted, non-conforming.

negative traits — argumentative, blunt, insensitive, obnoxious, guarded.

aesthetics — late night drives, leather jackets, band tees under a jean jacket, mixtapes with no names, bulky rings on every finger, uncontrollable late night laughter.

similar vibes to — patrick verona ( 10 things to hate about you ), jack sparrow ( pirates of the carribean ), tony stark (iron man ), chandler bing ( friends ), tyrion lannister ( game of thrones ), wade wilson ( deadpool ).

INTO MODOR.

eddie's parents were tragic from the start. his father had a gambling issue that quickly turned into a drug and theft issue by the time eddie was two. his mother, being the saint she was, raised eddie up until she discovered her illness shortly after he turned six. stage four breast cancer. she only lived five months after she was diagnosed.

alan munson had been arrested for drug possession when the news of his wife's death broke and he was denied custody until he could clean up his act. after calling eddie's maternal grandparents, they denied wanting custody of their only grandchild. it was only a few days after being put in the system did child services find his father's only brother, wayne. without hesitation, he was granted custody and eddie's new life began.

from the time eddie was young, eddie always had an unruly head of curls. his mother loved them. middle school was when the bullying for him began. he loved fantasy games. he LOVED metal music and often dressed in the color black. ripped jeans were a custom. it's all wayne could afford when he was growing up so he was often picked on for his grunge look. it all came to a head when rumors went around that his mom didn't die from cancer but that he sacrificed her life for some wicked intentions. the bullying got so bad that he ended up shaving his head and throwing a punch at anyone who disrespected his mother's legacy.

he got into a lot of fights in his middle school years. more often, eddie would be the victim of brutal words that he couldn't handle and he was throwing a fist at the nearest jaw. wayne was in the principals' office most of his seventh grade year. his counselor suggested that it could've been grief driven for his new-found behavior. he met every day with the guidance counselor that year and eventually dealt with the loss of mother. in high school, he began to grow his hair long to embrace his curls... in honor of his mother.

his love for d&d stemmed when he was in middle school as did his love for music. he was a self taught guitarist and when he found his lifelong friends out of the talent for both hobbies, he slowly started to find his place in the crowd of high school. the hellfire club was formed shortly after he entered into high school and desired a place for the outcasts to find their way.

all of season four is canon for eddie, though matilda is in the place of chrissy. after the battle in the upside down, eddie sustained the injuries to his sides from the demobats. when dustin, nancy, steve, and robin pulled him from the upside down... he was taken to hawkins general where he was detained and patched back up after losing a lot of blood. he remained in the hospital for three days after the incident under heavy guard as he was arrested as a suspect in the death of matlida, fred, and patrick.

despite every effort to clear his name entirely, it was nearly impossible to undo the damage that the title of 'murder suspect' did to his name. though hopper helped clear all the charges against him for lack of evidence, eddie's life never went back to the way it was before vecna's killings. he graduated, but wasn't able to walk the stage due to the controversy surrounding him. the hellfire club was disbanded in school, though eddie agreed to start the club up on his own time when speculation died down. he wasn't able to hold down any job, colleges did not accept him for his poor grades and reputation... everything he had was destroyed.

with the help of the hideout's owner, eddie was able to train as a bartender and works every other night to help wayne out with rent. he looks forward to moving out on his own time but lays low most of the time due to the ridicule he still faces to the day. he can only hope that one day, he can make it out of hawkins for good. for now, all he can do is hope that the day comes sooner rather than later.

#tw cancer mention #tw death mention #tw bullying #hwkinsfm.intro #◁◁ 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖎𝖘 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖊. 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖈𝖑𝖚𝖇 ▐ ▌ introduction. ▷▷

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assbutt-writes · 3 months

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Starting the Stream Chapter 2

Chapter below cut

By the end, the viewer count on the stream had almost doubled and both of their Twitters, mostly Spidey’s, though, were blowing up with mentions and dms. They quickly said goodbye, and when the streams ended, they both let out a sigh of relief.

“I almost don’t want to check Twitter,” Spidey joked, and Wade shook his head even though he knew the other man couldn’t see him.

“It was great,” Wade said emphatically. “The chat was spamming compliments and asking if it was on streaming yet, everyone on Twitter was getting people to join, and the viewer count nearly doubled. They love you, Spides.”

Tell him, Wade

No.

Why not?

This is Spidey’s moment. Not mine. Now shut up.

“Are you sure? I mean, what if they were just coming on to the stream to laugh at me?” Spidey said, and Wade let out a little snort.

“Spidey, I can assure you, they loved it just as much as I did, which is to say, a whole lot. Check Twitter. Trust me,” Wade said, and he could hear Spidey take a deep breath of anticipation.

“Here goes nothing,” Spidey muttered. Then there was silence that was only broken up by the sounds of a keyboard clicking. “Oh my god.”

“Spidey? What is it?” Wade asked, mind racing.

“You were right. They loved it!” Spidey said excitedly, and Wade let out a sigh of relief.

“See? What’d I tell you?” Wade said, and Spidey let out a relieved laugh.

“It’s just, I’ve never really shared any of my songs with anyone before. I can’t believe they liked it,” Spidey said, and Wade smiled.

“I can.”

Ooh, Wade’s in looove!

“Shut it.”

Oops. “That was out loud wasn’t it?” he said, cringing.

“Yeah,” Spidey laughs. “Yellow again?”

“Yup,” Wade said sheepishly. Sometimes he forgot that Yellow, as he had taken to calling it, was just in his head, and it could get pretty embarrassing when he had a slip-up like that. “Anyways, what I was saying was, I would honestly be surprised if any of them didn’t like it. You’re amazing, Spides. I’m almost positive they see it too.”

“See it too?” Wow, you’re down bad.

Not. Now.

“Hold on, I’m getting a message. One sec,” There was a pause before Spidey gasped loudly. “Holy shit. DP, I have to go. Oh my g-” Spidey said, before leaving the call mid-sentence.

Wade quickly messaged him to ask if he was alright, to which the other man responded with a thumbs-up emoji and a wide-eyed smile. Wade let out a little laugh before he stood up off of his chair, stretched his arms, and made his way out to his kitchen. There he ran into his roommate Peter, who was practically vibrating with excitement.

“What’s up?” Wade asked.

“Ipostedmysongandigotarecorddealohmygodithinkimgoingtopassoutthisissocool,” Peter rambled, and Wade held up his hands.

“Hold on, slow down. You what?” Wade said, utterly confused.

“You know that song that I’ve been writing?” Peter said, and Wade nodded.

“Yeah?” Wade asked.

“I posted it today, and I got a record deal! People actually like it!” Peter said, practically jumping up and down he was so excited.

“Really? That’s great, Pete!” Wade said, and, while he was sad he wouldn’t be able to hear the song, he understood why Peter wasn’t showing it to him. He knew firsthand how much people want to keep their online lives anonymous and personal lives private, and that included not telling best friends. Hell, he hadn’t told Peter about him being Deadpool yet, and he wasn’t planning on doing it anytime soon either.

“Yeah! I’m so excited!” Peter said smiling, and he did a little jump in the air, but the second he did his face went pale and he quickly moved to a chair and sat down in it. “Woah, not gonna do that again.”

“You okay?” Wade asked, and Peter waved him off.

“Yeah, just a little lightheaded,” Peter said

Wade was about to push further, but just then his phone started ringing, and he looked down. It was Ellie’s school.

“Hello?” Wade asked, answering the call.

“Is this Mr. Wade Wilson?” the woman on the other end of the line asked.

“This is him. What’s wrong?” he asked, starting to worry.

“Your daughter Eleanor got in a fight. You’re going to need to pick her up,” the woman said, and shit.

“I understand. I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” Wade said, hanging up the phone. “Shit. I have to go. Ellie got into another fight.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go back to my room for a bit. Knock if you need me,” Peter said, a smile still evident on his face.

“Will do. See you later,” Wade said, mind starting to wander.

Ellie hadn’t gotten into a fight in almost 2 years, so why was she suddenly getting into one now? It was coming up on- Shit. It was coming up on the anniversary of Lexi leaving, and Wade knew how much that always affected Ellie. He should’ve been more on top of things instead of being caught up with his streaming. He knew he hadn’t been the best dad in the world, having to try and deal with highschool and raising a newborn by himself. He knew that he had relied a lot on Peter during those days, to the point of Ellie seeing him almost as a second dad, but that Ellie never really saw him as an authority figure, and honestly kind of saw him as a big brother.

He quickly walked down to his car and got in, driving to Ellie’s school. When he got there, he froze at the sight of Ellie sitting in front of the nurse’s office with a bloody nose and a black eye. He hurried over to her, and when she saw him, her tear-streaked eyes widened.

“Dad! Look, I promise this isn’t what it seems like. Ryan was starting to make fun of me and the fact that Mom left, and Alexis stepped in to start yelling at him, and then he punched her, so I punched him, and then-” Ellie rambled, a tear starting to roll down her cheek.

“Look, Ellie, I get it. I’ll figure this out. Are you okay?” Wade asked worriedly.

“Yeah, I guess so. I mean, you should see the other guy,” she said, cracking a small smile.

“Where is he?” Wade asked, Yellow shouting things like "I wanna punch a child", which Wade was starting to kind of agree with. Ellie had been doing so good, and this complete jackass of a teenager had to come along and run all of her progress with one stupid little comment. Wade could feel his hands start to curl into tight fists, and when Ellie noticed, she reached out a hand and laid it on his shoulder.

“I know what you and Yellow are probably thinking, but it’s taken care of. He has a week-long suspension, and they moved him so we won’t have any classes together. And the teacher saw everything, so the school knows I was just defending Alexis. It’s okay,” she said, and Wade let out a little laugh.

“You know, I should be saying that to you,” Wade said, laughing. “Since they’re sending you home anyway, how about we go and get ice cream with Pete?”

“Yeah!” Ellie said, perking up slightly.

#spideypool #spiderman #deadpool #wade wilson #peter parker #ao3 #fanfic

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sunflowersoldat · 1 year

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All is Fair ~ Waltzes and Wishes (Drabble)

This Drabble takes place after chapter 20!

No warnings it just fluffy. Kinda spoilers if you haven’t read chapter 20 yet!

It had been a couple of days since the incident in Stark tower, you hadn’t reached out to your brother yet and your mind whirled with the uncertain future.

You stared at Steve’s sleeping form from the doorway, he was recovering well, faster than average, must’ve been due to the enhancing treatments from Erskine’s experiments, but he slept a lot. You didn’t mind it too much, it gave you time to think things over, that was both good and bad, on the one hand you over thought everything. You tried to find the missing pieces to the puzzle, and when you couldn’t you made your way to the gym to relieve the pent up stress.

Though you were never gone long, you were too worried Steve would wake up and need you, or that his wound would reopen or… and the list goes on. Steve was a big man, he could take care of himself, but you couldn’t help but think at least some of this was your fault—

“It’s not your fault.”

Wade’s voice sounded from behind you as he shut your front door, you gave him a weary look, “How’d you…”

“I’ve seen that look. Hell, I invented that damn look.” he settled across from you, leaning against the bar. “He looks better.”

“I have you to thank for that… He might not have survived without you.”

Wade shook his head, “Nah. you would have fixed him up just fine, but sometimes someone who isn’t emotionally attached can think clearer in such situations.” he sighed loudly, “When was the last time you left this safehouse?”

Scrunching your brow you shrugged, “I don’t know, why?”

“You look like shit.”

Scoffing, you rolled your eyes, “Thanks Wade, I appreciate it.”

He lifted his shoulder before turning around, picking up your stereo remote, he clicked it on, flipping to an oldies station. The lighthearted music filled the air.

You shot him a glare, “Wade! Turn it off, you'll wake him!”

He shook his head, only lowing the volume a couple of notches, before placing the remote high out of your reach.

“When was the last time I danced with Death my dear?” he sashayed closer, moving to the beat of the music, reaching for you, but you pulled out of his reach.

“Everyday. Besides this is hardly the time for dancing Wilson.”

Ignoring you he began to hum to the current song, idly dancing around your kitchen and living room, “Shalalalalala la ti da.”

“Wade!” you hiss, stepping away from the door to reach for the remote, but he catches you around the waist, twirling you with him.

“Come on kid, you gotta have a little fun once in a while.” he places both your hands in his, pulling you along with the rhythm.

A reluctant smile lifts your lips as the music flows through you. “You’re insane Wilson.”

A bright smile lifts his lips, “Gosh I hope so, I’m not sure a sane person could do the work we do…”

The door to your little apartment opens softly, Jake and Yelena slip into the room, a huge smile splits Yelena’s face as she leans against the wall, tapping her foot to the beat of the music, while Jake makes his way to you and Wade, joining the two of you dancing in the middle of the living room.

He raises a brow, as he pulls you into a pretzel, “When was the last time we did this Peladora?”

Giggling you can barely shrug a shoulder, you honestly couldn’t remember, it had been over a year since the four of you had any genuine fun.

You lost track of time, with each song you were being traded between both Jake and Wade. One moment you were in Wade’s arms doing some off the wall dance move, then you were spun into Jake’s arms, doing the pretzel. Jake spun you outward as ‘can't take my eyes off you’ began to play, his hand released yours, and you ended up stumbling into a mass of warm muscle.

You staggered back, but his warm hands locked around yours, your head tilting back to meet his captivating blue gaze. One side of his lips lifted in a small smile, his brow quirked, “May I?”

Your heart fluttered in your chest as you glanced around the room, all three of your friends were already halfway out the door, Wade giving you one last wink before closing the door. Leaving you and Steve alone as the music plays around you, “I thought you’d never ask…”

Wrapping his arm around your waist, he interlaced his fingers with yours, swaying you softly to the music. You leaned your head against his chest, and were given a glimpse, as small as it was, it was till a glimpse into what future you could have had.

Your small slice of heaven.

@dontbescaredtosingalong @texan-tazzy @tianamontag @daiseychaindisaster @silently-killing-you @buckyfan12 @leyannrae @justlovelifeblog @austynparksandpizza @captainson-of-coul @betareader7 @vicmc624 @bigphattygyal @calwitch @buckysteveloki-me @curlyladylazarus111 @talesofadragon

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haghottie420 · 1 year

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Blazed (Smoking Weed is Gay) (16830 words) by GreendaleHumanBeing Chapters: 7/7 Fandom: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man/Deadpool - Joe Kelly (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man (Comicverse), Deadpool (Movieverse) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Past Gwen Stacy/Mary Jane Watson Characters: Wade Wilson, Peter Parker, Johnny Storm, Gwen Stacy, Mary Jane Watson, Weasel, Reed Richards, Tony Stark, Aunt May, May Parker (Spider-Man) Additional Tags: Bisexual Peter Parker, Stoner Peter Parker, Recreational Drug Use, Weed, So much oui'd y'all, John Waters references, Wade Loves John Waters, Burnt Out Peter Parker, Peter is like 26, ACAB, Twilight References, Banter, God so much banter, Kissing, Texting, Gratuitous Emojis, Bisexual Gwen, Nosy MJ, Capitalism sucks, Shitty Day Job, Sister Margret's is Hellhouse, Merc Bar, Weasel is perpetually stoned, Can you imagine how many weed strains are probably named after avengers here omg, Johnny Storm is a good dude, Bisexual MJ, Gwen Stacy Lives, Brunch, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, leftist peter parker, I'd give it all for MJ and Gwen, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, Tony Stark Is A Dick, Sexting, Finally some horny stuff, some angst too, Angst, Peter Sulks, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Stoner Aunt May, She's finally here, Peter Parker Loves Wade Wilson, Insecure Wade Wilson, More weed smoking, Gwen's GF reveal, John Waters, twilight - Freeform Summary:

Peter is burnt out. Wade has been watching a lot of cult classics. Everyone tells them they're in love. Five times these fucking nerds smoke weed together.

Peter’s high is fading into a disgruntled sleepiness. Does Johnny not understand simple math? Peter is a washed-up hero disenchanted by even being a hero by night. He hustles to make it up to communities affected by his past reckless hero-ing. And the rest of the time he’s a washed-up grad student turned line-cook. Smoking weed at the end of long days wondering how long he can keep up. Why would anyone waste their time with him romantically? Even Peter doesn’t like wasting time with himself.

Johnny actually has the gall to turn around and glare at Peter before turning back to his phone.

flame emoji smoke emoji clown emoji (12:53 AM): you need to work on that ‘self loathing’ shit flame emoji smoke emoji clown emoji (12:53 AM): tht motherfucker is head over dick 4 u

(Since I've written this fic about two years ago, it's gotten a lot of traction lately! So much so that I'm working on aa sequel rn :) I just wanted to share this news w. the COMMUNITY as a whole <3)

#my fic #spideypool #stoner peter parker #burnt out bisexual stoner peter parker #wade wilson #peter parker #stoner spideypool #they smoke a lot of weed #they're just like me fr #fic rec

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pandagirl45 · 10 months

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Peter:...so your dad gave your dad Rizzoli?

Harley: *kicks Peter chair out from under him*

Peter: *laughing*

Shuri: rizzed up on a tuesday

Harley: I'm quitting the team! *stomps off then comes back* and Bucky rizzed up Tony you plebians! *stops off*

Wade: *laughing with peter*

Kamala: that is so much information I didn't need *giggles a little*

#tony stark #bucky barnes #winteriron #harley being their son #harley keener #peter parker #peter parker is a little shit #wade wilson is a little shit too #wade wilson #kamala khan #shuri #this was dumb #this is a shitpost #lol i was thinking about a video i saw

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sciderman · 2 months

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thinking about what if situations, dunno why but I have the image in my head of Uncle Ben with Pete in hospital after he over does it doing Spider-man shit, Ben's worried. At the hospital, Ben meets a very uncertain Wade Wilson, suffering in his hospital bed with a cancer diagnosis, thinking about if going into the Weapon X program is genuinely worth it, they start talking. Ben talks about life, about how you shouldn't survive just to be alive, you should survive so you can live. Ben doesn't tell him to join the weapon X but he doesn't tell him not too, they just have a genuine deep talk about both sides until Ben needs to go back to Peter. I can literally hear Wade going, “That was fucking stupid", in his head, all that sentimental spiritual shit.. But.. It genuinely does help him, whether he realises it or not. Dunno, just like the idea of it, maybe years later when Peters talking about Uncle Ben, Wade finally feels brave enough to tell him about the time in hospital where he spoke to him.

hmm. i really think the "survive to live" philosophy isn't exactly a very uncle ben coded message. i think uncle ben doesn't embody that - he's a very selfless guy. he will put the needs of others above his own, always. he's like peter in that way - or, at least, peter wants to be like uncle ben. wants to be selfless, like uncle ben was. and he's actually not very good at it. he has to work at it. and it's difficult.

i think the "survive to live" philosophy aligns more with aunt may. aunt may is more about the self, and personal happiness - even though she's a nurse and she's very nurturing and selfless too. aunt may is kind of a free spirit - in fact, i think aunt may and wade have a very similar approach to life and love, and i had written a WHOLE lot of scripts about that. that aunt may and wade - they're kind of obscenely alike. that aunt may didn't know if she could make compromises and be selfless enough to succeed in love.

there are a lot of parallels between what wade and peter are going through, and how ben and may were, as dumb kids. may was a kind of free-spirit, who didn't actually see herself as settling down with ben parker. but ben was a patient, loving, supportive man, who waited for her.

a parker boy doesn't give up on love. he'll stupidly hang on, forever and ever.

I think there’s an irony to that “survive to live” philosophy being the entire wholeass opposite of what peter takes away from the death of uncle ben.

I can’t really speak to uncle ben’s philosophy - I don’t think “great power great responsibility” in whatever way he said it (or didn’t say it - remember, in the comics it was never actually said by uncle ben) - peter definitely took his own lesson from uncle ben’s death and I don’t think it was meant by uncle ben at all. in fact, i think wade might have even been onto something when he said -

obviously uncle ben wouldn’t say that. but - fact is, great power great responsibility is a self-imposed lesson from peter. and it has very little to do with what uncle ben actually meant when he said it in 9319.

I think uncle ben might’ve meant that peter had a responsibility to the people in his life. and a responsibility to himself. that he couldn’t just - disengage with life and shut himself away from it and avoid things and run away from things. it's actually a lesson that is hammered into peter over and over again, and a mistake he keeps repeating.

he uses his responsibilities as spider-man as an excuse to run away from his responsibilities as peter parker.

i think uncle ben would've been disappointed to see all the mistakes peter made with the people he's loved. all the secrets and lies he's kept - uncle ben was a chronically honest man. but he was a simple guy - he didn't have any secrets. may - may's more understanding about it. she knows sometimes secrets are necessary, at a time.

i think it's awesome and sexy that, finally - all the elements are coalescing so that peter will finally learn the lesson that uncle ben actually intended for him to learn.

sorry, i went off on a tangent again. but man, i should finish those wade/may posts. may is so, so good for wade. she'll heal him. i think all wade needed was the love of a mother.

#sci speaks #ask-spiderpool #meta

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calciseptinefic · 1 year

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a luxury few can afford

Marvel || Wade Wilson/Peter Parker || Part 3 notes: this fic is also available on ao3 warnings: peter's anxiety

Part 2

Peter wakes slowly for the first time in years. No blaring alarm, no jab of awareness, no anxiety-induced panic—just the sweet and syrupy transition between consciousness and wakefulness, the light in the room slowly brightening as the sun makes its way to its zenith. At first, he thinks about getting up and starting his day, thinks about tackling the constant laundry list of tasks that comes from being a college student and a vigilante, but then he thinks of Wade.

Wade, standing in his space.

Wade, telling him what to do.

Peter burrows deeper into his sheets, cocooned in warmth and cotton worn soft, and lingers. He doesn't know how long he stays there, in that pleasant half-awake state; he didn't look at his phone when he woke up and he doesn't look at it when he gets out of bed. It takes effort to leave it face-down on his nightstand, but he leaves it, because he knows that if he picks it up, he's going to want to text Wade more than he already does, and Wade told him not to.

Not until seven.

So Peter pretends that his phone isn't there and that there isn't an itch of impatience under his skin. He eats breakfast—plain toast with peanut butter and sliced banana on top—then studies, reviewing for computational biochemistry and working on homework for genomics. Afterwards, he cleans up a little. His apartment is small, but the mess never gets too bad; he doesn't have much in the way of material possessions and he lives alone. He simply has to make sure that his dirty clothes are in the hamper and there isn't toothpaste encrusted on the sink faucet.

It's just past four when Peter finally checks the time. Less than three hours until he can text Wade his address. Peter sets his phone back down. Goes to take a long shower, letting the scalding water run down his back until it turns cold.

4:37.

Peter boils two packs of ramen, throwing a handful of frozen veggies, an egg, and diced spam into the bowl. Eats it.

4:48.

Peter opens his laptop again and checks his e-mail, both personal and university. There's nothing but junk in the former; in the latter, he only needs to respond to a question from his PI, and the response requires less than two sentences.

5:13.

Peter opens his social media accounts. Scrolls. Sighs, then closes them. Repeats this process at least three times for all of them before getting bored.

5:46.

Peter gets off his couch—a surprisingly comfy two-seater he found on the curb several years ago—and goes to his closet. He's been walking around in nothing but a baggy t-shirt and his underwear all day. He pulls on a pair of straight leg, light-wash jeans, the ones MJ said made him look like a twink but in the best way, and a thin, mustard-yellow sweater. His socks have little Rutherford model atoms on them and no holes, which is more than can be said for some of the others.

5:51.

Peter cusses and pulls off all his clothes, sans briefs, and stands in the middle of his tiny bedroom, chewing on his bottom lip. Who the hell wears jeans at home? Wade will definitely know he dressed up. What if Wade thinks that's weird? What if Wade laughs at him?

5:52.

Wade wouldn't laugh at him. Wade would probably put his hands on Peter's hips, fingers creeping back towards his butt, and murmur, "Shit, baby boy, your ass looks just as good in them jeans as they do in spandex," before hooking his thumbs into the belt loops and dragging Peter against him, humming 'Low' by Flo Rida before leaning down and—

The jeans are back on.

5:53.

Wade is absolutely going to laugh at him. Wade has laughed at him. Just last week, for example, a man with the power to control pigeons had beset approximately all the pigeons in New York City on Peter; they didn't hurt Peter, necessarily, but their little talons pricked as they tried to use every available surface of his body as a perch. Wade had laughed himself sick at the sight. And the week before that, Peter's spidey-sense had gone off when a sewer rat decided to challenge him for his veggie-stuffed dosa. Peter had been so startled to be charged by a malicious rodent that he shrieked, then instinctively threw the dosa at the rat, who carried the food off with a happy little wag of its fat wormtail. Wade had laughed and laughed and laughed, only able to wheeze by the end, doubled over with his hands braced on his knees. The video of the entire debacle trended on social media as well, much to Peter's chagrin.

5:55.

The jeans are off.

5:56.

But Wade did buy him some falafel at another food truck, afterwards. He also offered to track down the civilian that posted Peter's #spidermanvsrat #epicfail #justnycthings video and 'make them regret it', which was heartfelt if not a little misguided. And really, Wade had been laughing at a circumstance in which Peter was the unfortunate victim, not Peter himself. Vigilantism often lent itself to crazy and unintentionally hilarious situations, and while Wade wasn't exactly helpful every single time, he was never purposefully malicious. Besides, Peter has definitely laughed at Wade when the roles were reversed, so...

5:56.

Jeans on.

5:57.

Peter refolds his sweater and contemplates other options. There are are a couple henleys and a blazer which—no, this isn't a job interview, no matter how much Peter wants to be in a certain position—and that one sky blue button down that Aunt May likes. She says it 'makes him look like a nice young man', but Peter isn't going to be selling Wade fucking popcorn like a Boy Scout, he's going to be choking on Wade's magnum dong and crying about how good it is.

Hopefully.

If Wade doesn't take one look at him, laugh, and leave.

6:04.

Peter has touched every single top he owns, tried on four of them, and immediately yanked them off. Briefly, he thinks about calling MJ and asking her exactly what the fuck he should wear, but then he'd have to tell her that Wade is coming over for... well, it's more than a pre-meditated booty call, but it's not exactly a date, either.

It's just a blowjob, Peter tries to tell himself. I'm just giving him a blowjob. And just because he's bringing dinner doesn't mean that it's more.

6:11.

Peter dresses in jeans, a plain white t-shirt, and a brown flannel. Casual. The kind of thing he would wear to class or to meet up with MJ or to see Aunt May. He picked it out easily, once his brain decided to hyper-fixate on another worry; now he's sitting on the edge of his bed, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, as he turns his phone over and over in his hands.

"Stop freaking out," Peter tells himself. He forces himself to take big, deep breaths and hold them. It tricks his parasympathetic nervous system enough for the ache in his chest to ease. Calmed down as much as he can be, Peter whispers, "Now break it down, Parker. Find out what's really bothering you."

Fact #1: Wade is coming over for a blowjob. A blowjob Peter himself brought up, in exchange for Wade's mercenary services. Wade hasn't once indicated that it was owed to him or that he deserved it. Actually, he gave Peter ample opportunity to back out, which Peter refused because Fact #2: Peter really, really, really wants to suck Wade's cock. He doesn't have much experience (read: two anonymous blowjobs in the bathroom of some frat house during his sophomore year of college) but he knows he likes it. Loves it even.

Which brings him to Fact #3:

Peter likes Wade.

A lot.

He hadn't been lying when he told Wade that he had thought about giving Wade a blowjob before. He had. Both times those frat boys shoved their dicks down Peter's throat and thrust sloppily in, finishing before he could even jerk himself off onto the vinyl flooring, it was the thought of Wade that brought him over. Neither of those instances were the first time Peter had thought about Wade like that, and neither of them were the last. Wade's thighs and shoulders and hands took a starring role in many of Peter's sexual fantasies from pretty much the moment Wade waltzed in on one of Peter's fights. Wade, who's explicit jokes and dirty mouth made Peter press his knees tightly together. Wade, who flirted with him, complimented him. Wade, who was big, and loud, and so damnably present that Peter could never stop thinking about him.

Peter doesn't know when he stopped thinking about Wade as an attractive nuisance slash inconvenient crush, and when he started to think about Wade as his somewhat obnoxious but ridiculously hot best friend. It's all too tangled. Five years of stake-outs and take-outs; easy nights and hard nights; the instant compatibility and the slow gain of trust. They're friends.

Fact #4: They're friends. Wade likes Peter too. They spend time together and have inside jokes. They can drive each other crazy, but ultimately, Peter knows Wade has his back. He hopes that Wade knows that there isn't much Peter wouldn't do for him, either. It's just that Fact #5: Peter wants to be more than friends and, Fact #6: Peter doesn't know if Wade wants that too.

Sure, Wade flirts with him and calls him 'baby boy', but Wade has always been super open about his sexuality. Peter knows he isn't seeing anyone right now and that the serious relationships he's had in the past haven't ended well. So, sure, Peter and Wade are friends, but what if that's it?

What if Wade just wants a blowjob?

What if he doesn't want more?

That weirdness Peter felt two nights ago returns. It coils up inside him, his unease beginning to creep back. Not enough to break Wade's dictates, text him, and call the whole thing off, but enough to make Peter pause for the first time. He had been so wrapped up by all that was happening—kissing Wade, getting the evidence against Kingpin's goon, and kissing Wade again, all while dealing with the constant mundanities of civilian life—that he never stopped to think.

Peter wants this. He does. He wants Wade to come over and see his face. He wants to eat Thai until he's bursting, then undress, get on his knees, and give Wade a blowjob. And he knows he'll get that. But after?

Will Wade stay?

If Peter asks, will he spend the night in Peter's bed?

Will he be there when Peter wakes up? Let Peter make him scrambled eggs and cheap coffee?

Peter is keenly aware that Wade hasn't said anything about more. It isn't out of character; for as much as Wade talks, he often plays his cards very close to his chest, either to spare his feelings or spare the feelings of others. Like Peter, Wade might want more. Unlike Peter, he might not. The real question is this: If all Wade wants is a blowjob in exchange for services rendered, can Peter live with that? Can he put the memory of it in a box, to only occasionally be pulled out with equal amounts of fondness and hurt, and not let it destroy what they already have?

Peter turns over his phone.

Taps the darkened screen.

6:57.

He takes a breath—

6:58.

Opens his chat with Wade—

6:59.

Types out a message—

7:00.

And hits send.

Part 4

#spideypool #spiderman #deadpool #peter parker #wade wilson #rating: e #pairing: wade wilson/peter parker

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