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sspookyspoonss · 6 months

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I know nothing about Doctor Who except what friends occasionally excitedly tell me. I am also bored. Here is an undoubtably factual explanation of each of the ‘new?’ Doctors:

Doctor…. Who??????:

I know nothing about this guy. Nobody I know talks about Christopher Eccleston nor have I caught wind of any internet discussion. My conclusion is there is a conspiracy to not talk about him for no reason other than the fandom got bored and thought it would be funny. I think this Doctor would like to go to football matches and would get very upset if the team he likes doesn’t win. You would probably randomly meet him at a pub and would have a nice chat with him, however, he’d take you back to the Tardis and you would most likely die via Dalek plunger (a thing I am informed they can kill you with). I also think he would like watching reality TV, he gives of that vibe.

Tumblr Doctor:

The internet likes this guy. David Tennant is cool, so I understand. I think this is ‘wibbly wobbly timey wimey’ guy so I am inclined to think that he also says things like ‘milkys’ and ‘dindins’ to his friends. Even if he is not ‘timey wimey’ guy I still think he still would say ‘milkys’ and the like, gives off that vibe.

He has some angst to do with a woman. I’m not sure why but I’m guessing it’s to do with Thomas Edison. The Doctor knows he stole most of his inventions because he can time travel and saw it happen, not stopping him is one of the Doctor’s greatest failures, however, his lady friend is a victim of the British Education system and thinks otherwise. They break up over it, angst ensues, Thomas Edison has ruined someone else’s life even after he’s dead.

‘I don’t like this guy’ Doctor:

I do not like this Doctor, worst one. Nothing against Matt Smith or his performance, I’m sure it was brilliant, I’ve seen that Van Gough clip and it made me cry 10/10. More importantly than that however, my supposed childhood best friend who was actually just bullying and manipulating me said he was her favourite so I look at him and remember I wasted my childhood with her. He can make it up to me if he time travels and gets child me a better friend. Then he will be the best Doctor.

He or Tumblr Doctor has a wife????? I think???? I’m not sure but which one it is but because of my bias I’m saying it’s this guy. I know it’s dodgy because of time travel so he needs to go to space jail (or as Tumblr Doctor probably calls it, the ‘Naughty Step’). I’m assuming they also have a child, making every reincarnation of the Doctor from here on out a deadbeat who needs to pay A LOT of child support. That is why he regenerated, so he could avoid paying it, ‘Court can’t prove I’m the Dad if I don’t have his face.’ Arsehole.

Screwdriver scandal TM Doctor:

He looks like a nice guy. This Doctor would sit you down and give you a therapy session after you nearly get killed by a Weeping Angel. I would like having a talk with him, it would be nice. I feel like he is the most well adjusted Doctor, although that could just be Peter Capaldi’s immaculate vibes. This Doctor pays his taxes. He doesn’t like Paddington Bear for some reason. Due to his well adjustedness, I am lead to believe the twist in Paddington 3 is that Paddington is The Master (who I think is a villain) and will go on a rampage across London, turning people into Marmalade. It will be up to the Doctor and the family I’ve forgotten the name of, to stop him. This would also provide an explanation for why the Mum’s actor has changed, to fix Paddingtons mess they had to time travel which led to the Dad marrying a different woman.

He threw away the Sonic Screwdriver apparently. Previously mentioned childhood best friend complained to no end about it to me. Knowing fanbases other people were also likely very upset, I’m guessing it felt like it did to me when Luke Skywalker chucked his lightsaber over his shoulder in The Last Jedi. I also think Screwdrivergate is a tragedy because they didn’t take the opportunity to replace the Screwdriver with another, even sillier, Sonic _______. I suggest either a Sonic Scented Candle or a Sonic Keyring. Alas, it was not to be.

‘WOMAN AAAAAAAAAAAAA’ Doctor:

People don’t like her because woman. People also don’t like her because of bad writing. Last time I checked, neither of these are Jodie Whittaker’s fault. I don’t have much to say about her except my new, (actually great this time) friend who likes Doctor Who has an emotional reaction every time she is brought up. Genuine sadness and disappointment in my friends eyes. I suggest that this means this is a fantastic Doctor, to the point it is art. A sign of good art is something that garners a strong emotional reaction. Despair at the state of the franchise and societies misogyny may not have been the intention, but a strong reaction is incurred nonetheless, so success, this is art now.

‘Guess Who’s back!’ Doctor:

Erm, not sure how in canon this works but David Tennant seems to be having a nice time so it’s good. The alternative name for this Doctor is ‘Production Budget Doctor’ because from the ends of episodes I’ve seen (I watch Strictly Come Dancing because ooo pretty dresses and it’s on after) the Tardis looks very fancy and like it’s from a big budget film. Coffee also got spilled on it which is funny because it messed the Tardis up, meaning not even the technology of a near God can withstand dumbass humans with liquids. Hilarious. Also, an apt metaphor for many things.

In conclusion: I’m sorry for any brain damage caused to the good members of the Doctor Who fanbase who read this. Have a nice day.

#apologies #doctor who #bbc #david tennant #matt smith #jodie whittaker #peter capaldi #christopher eccleston #ninth doctor #tenth doctor #eleventh doctor #twelfth doctor #thirteenth doctor #fourteenth doctor

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fandomscompilation · 2 months

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When the vibes change

yourusername: prepare for my villain era

liked by bandname, bffuser, user91 and 358 more

bandname: welcome to the dark side

> yourusername: do you have cookies??

user73: what I'd give to meet you..

ynsgurl: Mommy 🥵

user54: holly molly 😱

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The sun was setting over Monaco painting the sky with shades of pink and orange. The view would've been beautiful in Y/N's eyes if not the message she received an hour ago. Her phone was still buzzing from time to time with new notifications, but she didn't have the energy to pick it up.

The last three months were like a fairy tale, but now they started to look like a fever dream. She tried to convince herself that those moments were just that, hallucinations of a better time. But how could she trick her heart when it yearned for the love she began to feel.

From the moment they met he had her wrapped around his fingers. She sang about him, she composed music that was joyful once again and she felt exhilarated. Every day with him made her smile like a fool. And maybe she was a fool, because she believed all his sweet words, when his heart was never hers.

She sighted thinking about her tomorrow's concert. Her band wasn't that popular, they sang in the less known clubs and pubs in Monaco, but they still were in high demand and managed to gain quiet the public. They music couldn't be put down to one genre, because of all the covers they made during their shows, but lately Y/N's feelings took over turning their vibes to more romantic. She sang upbeat hits about love and joys of life. But how could she do that now?

Her phone buzzed again and she glanced to the phone to see the groupchat of her band. They had to prepare a setlist for their show. Maybe this was the way to let her heartbreak heal, by screaming her lungs out.

#fanfiction #writing #formula 1 #fanfic #f1 driver x reader #smau #f1 smau #y/n #f1 x reader #charles leclerc x reader #lando norris x reader

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nevermindigotthis · 2 days

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I think there should be a Dishonored TV show.

Imagine this: The Series follows several POV characters: Corvo (duh, probably in a low chaos run with some deaths), Emily (duh, little girl and the horrible no good very bad day, we see how she deals with the conspiracy and it can give some background on the villains), Daud (big regrets, has his whole Delilah story which, for TV reasons, happens at the same time as Corvo's revenge plot so the series can cut between them), and lastly Billie (lovestory with Delilah, betrayal of Daud, mercy in the end)

There can be amazing parallels between Corvo's low chaos revenge and Daud's quest for redemption, with a tense confrontation in Episode 8/9. Delilah as this secret foil that Corvo doesn't even know about, for dramatic purposes Daud has to defeat her in the last episode, so there can be a moment where the audience doesn't quite know if the Emily Corvo just rescued is still Emily. (For dramatic purposes this also needs to be the high chaos ending where Emily almost falls to her death, even though we're in mostly low chaos)

The Series (rough draft):

Episode 1: Corvo returns from his trip. Jess is murdered, Emily abducted. Title Screen. 6 months later. Corvo is being tortured in Coldridge. Daud is depressed and guiltridden. Billie is unimpressed. Episode ends with Corvo breaking out of Coldridge.

Episode 2: Corvo meets the Loyalists. Daud meets the Outsider who gives him the name "Delilah". Also he turns down contracts. Billie expresses her disapproval (again) and leaves the hideout to cool off. Emily is being held captive by the Pendletons who are being creepy and she tries to find a way out. Corvo gains the Mark of the Outsider and the Heart.

Episode 3: Corvo goes after Campbell, rescuing Martin along the way. Daud starts investigating (slaughterhouse). Billie is angry and leaves the hideout, meeting up with a lover who is afterwards revealed to be Delilah (her first appearance). Emily almost gets away from her captors, but is caught at the last second.

Episode 4: Corvo goes to the Golden Cat to rescue Emily. Daud investigates the Timshs. Billie scemes with Delilah to overthrow Daud. Episode ends with Corvo reuniting with Emily.

Episode 5: The Whaler hideout is overrun by Overseers. Billie reveals her betrayal, fights Daud and escapes. Corvo has a nice bonding moment with Emily. Corvo kidnaps Sokolov. Emily talks with the loyalists and gets the vibes that something is not right here.

Episode 6: The Boyle's party. Corvo identifies the right Boyle Lady and deals with her. Billie returns to Delilah who comforts her about having failed to kill Daud. Daud recovers from her betrayal. Emily has nightmares about Corvo dying.

Episode 7: Corvo goes to dispatch Burrows. Emily listens in on the Loyalists and their plans. Daud goes looking for a boat, and then for Lizzy Stride. Delilah reveals the beginning of her painting to Billie. Corvo returns to the Hounds Pit Pub and Emily tries to warn him, but is held back and locked in her room. Corvo is poisoned, Episode ends on him passing out.

Episode 8: Samuel drops Corvo in the Flooded District. Daud returns and finds Corvo. Emily is angry and ready to throw hands with the "loyalists", gets threatened. Bille and Delilah prepare for the ritual, Delilah tells Billie that afterwards she can go and kill Daud for real this time. Corvo wakes up and confronts Daud. They duel, Daud loses, asks for his life, Corvo doesn't say anything, but doesn't kill him. Corvo returns to the Pub.

Episode 9: Emily feels all alone in a cruel world, believing Corvo to be dead. Corvo and Daud both prepare for their final missions in a cool montage. Corvo infiltrates the Fort/Lighthouse and deals with Pendleton and Martin. Daud arrives at Brigmore manor, infiltrates it and finds the entrance to the void. Corvo goes on to search for Emily, her room is empty. Daud talks to the Outsider and confronts Billie and Delilah. Corvo finds Emily and Havelock. Daud fights Billie while Delilah (almost) completes her ritual. Corvo shoots Havelock and catches Emily. Daud injures Billie and goes to stop Delilah, bright flash of light. Emily looks up at Corvo with a strange smile. Delilah has vanished. Daud asks Billie if she's done it. Billie is angry as Delilah is gone, but has a heart to heart with Daud where they leave on relatively okay terms. Daud breathes a sigh of relief. Emily smiles and hugs Corvo, it's clear that she's still herself. Epilogue narration that everything turned out fine. End credit scene of Delilah very angry, but also very alive, in the Void.

Why 9 episodes, you ask? Well because I was trying for 10 but my planning which I came up with just now only wanted 9. 8 or 10 would make more sense from a TV standpoint though. I just think this would be such a cool series...

#dishonored #dishonored TV series #dishonored tv concept #i would watch the shit out of this #not art #writing #i guess #corvo attano #emily kaldwin #daud #billie lurk #delilah copperspoon #brigmore witches #hear me out on this

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squarebracket-trickster · 1 month

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Okay, actually, you know what, here's the master list of all my current original fiction WIPs. Because I feel the need to prove that some of them do have actual names. For honour's sake.

WIPs with actual names:

The Game duology: I Lost the Game and [unnamed sequel] - functionally WIPII

Evil Plans Trilogy: How to Take Over the World, How to Rule the World, How to Destroy the World (+ companion novels: Nefarious Schemes, Villainous Plots, How to Save the World) - functionally WIPIV

Evil Plans AU (Alien Universe) Trilogy: How to Conquer the Universe, How to Reign Over the Universe, How to End the Universe - also WIPIV

Tall Tales of Terribly Tempest Tseas Series - functionally WIPVI

Old Timey Pirates Duology: Good Ol' Fashioned Piracy and Ye Olde Skull and Crossbones - functionally WIPIX

Princess of Decay Trilogy - functionally WIPXI

Swincorn Classical Academy of Magic (S.C.A.M.) series - originally WIPXII

I am actually so proud of every single one of these names. If I trad pub these books I will fight to keep these names. These names are final and will not be changed.

WIPs with working titles that will probably be changed later:

House of the Windtaken series - functionally WIPVIII

WIPs with numbered placeholder names because idk what to call them at this point. The title is either one of first things I know about a story or it is the last thing I will figure out. (The only exception to this rule so far has been S.C.A.M. which I figured out after a significant amount of worldbuilding.)

WIPI (fucking massive series)

WIPIII (trilogy)

WIPV (series)

WIPVII (standalone)

WIPX (standalone)

WIPXIV (four books)

WIPXV (idk at this point)

WIPXVI (also idk)

On the other hand... my WIPs in order of priority (subject to change on a whim):

WIPVII - 60% done draft 3

WIPI - stuck on worldbuilding, stuck on plot

S.C.A.M. (WIPXII) - stuck on plot (got stuck 25k into a first draft, decided to scrap it)

WIPX - stuck on plot

Evil Plans (How to Take Over the World etc.) (WIPIV) - avoiding research that will probably get me put on a list hehe

Princess of Decay (WIPXI) - needs more direction

WIPIII - stuck on worldbuilding

The Game (WIPII) - needs more direction, ideas

WIPXIV - needs more ideas, putting it off bc it's a very new WIP and older WIPs get priority

WIPV - still only have a vague idea of what I want for it

Old Timey Pirates (WIPIX) - no idea what the central conflict is

WIPVIII/House of the Windtaken - no idea what the conflict is

WIPXV - yeah I got nothing but vibes for this one so far

WIPXVI - not emotionally ready to write it yet

Tall Tales of Terribly Tempest Tseas (WIPVI) - waiting bc these are my dad's stories to tell first.

so uhh yeah... my WIP having a name has nothing to do with where it sits on the priority list ahem

BTW - anyone who is interested in my WIPVII content #wipvii is the most used tag on my blog. It has all my snippets and writing updates and live-blogging thoughts. I don't post full chapters though.

#if anyone is wondering what happened to WIPXIII #uhhh the answer it became several separate whump original fics #I don't count them in my main WIP list anymore because different style - more fanfic than novel style #and I have different goals for those fics too #also yeah i used to have a WIPXVII as well but I forgot what it was about

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every-blessed-minute · 3 months

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07/02/2024 | Wednesday

1/100 Days of Productivity ✨️

First day of spring semester lectures

Started 2 new modules - one of my new lecturers has peak gay villain vibes

Got home and did a bit of crochet and bookkeeping

Committee meeting and then lunch with the rest of the team

Went to the library to study for about 3 hours

Gonna fill out a couple of internship applications now before either going to the pub with some mates or home to sleep :)

#100 days of productivity #100 dop #studyblr #new studyblr #academia #university #uni life #college life #crochet #hi shef #myhoneststudyblr

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enchantress-emily · 11 months

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Good Omens Fic Recs, Round 2

Time for another rec post with some excellent GO fics that have been added to my AO3 bookmarks since the first time I did this!

Multichapter:

Villainous by @ineffablepenguin

Once Upon A Time…

There was a red-haired sorcerer who lived alone in a high tower, and a blond prince who lived in a palace full of people. And they were both of them desperately lonely.

The Kingdoms of Empyrion and the Sorcerers of Apollyon have hated each other for hundreds of years, ever since the Great War. They do not interact, other than to occasionally try to kill one another. And they certainly do not make friends.

Crow is an exhausted sorcerer who just wants everyone to leave him the hell alone: for the Sorcerer’s Council to stop harassing him to live up to his potential, and for wannabe Empyrion Heroes to stop attacking his tower to try and kill him. Until one day when he meets Prince Azra of the High Fells, who doesn’t behave anything like he’s supposed to…

A splendid adventure that brings in the vibes of multiple fairy tales and fantasy stories without being based on any specific one. (See the list of Easter egg references at the end!) It's made clear that Azra is noticeably chubby and that Crow wouldn't want him to be any other way, which is something I always appreciate in a fic. The spice level (E) is higher than I typically read, but the story is well worth a little awkward skimming of sex scenes.

Morningstar Abbey by @andromeda4004

No one who had ever seen Aziraphale Fell in his youth would have supposed him born to be a hero. His situation in life, the character of his father and mother, his own person and disposition, were all equally against him. But when a gentleman is to be a hero, the attractions of a comfortable, quiet home cannot prevent him. Something must and will happen to throw his destiny in his way.

One should never forget that between a hero and his destiny, one will always find a villain.

Trusting parish rector Aziraphale attempts to navigate Regency Bath, the marriage market, and the complexities of his own heart in this take on Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey, written for the Ineffably Austen event, March 2023.

I enjoyed this recently-completed fic very much! The author put a lot of thought into creating a more inclusive version of the Regency era, detailed in the author's notes at the end of each chapter. There's plenty of Georgette Heyer influence along with the Jane Austen.

What We Make of It (Shotgun Wedding) by charlottemadison

The important thing, Crowley tells himself -- the most important thing -- is Adam, his brilliant, creative, empathetic nephew. Being fourteen's hard enough; the kid didn't ask to deal with the weight of the world on top of it.

And if taking care of Adam means Crowley has to tough it out at a job he can’t stand, so be it.

And if Crowley's job means that Adam’s charming English teacher is NOT a romantic possibility, well, that's just how things go.

But the occasional drink with Aziraphale proves hard to resist. They frequent the same pub, so who can object to them saying hello? Briefly sharing a table? Perhaps a little conversation? The painful knowledge that it can’t be anything more -- not without somebody getting fired or sued or both -- well, that can't be helped.

Until Crowley stumbles onto a terribly reckless idea...

Oh my goodness, the gorgeous emotional intensity of this fic! It's the slowest of slow burns, but the pace allows ample room for the gradual realization (for both the characters and the reader) of just how well Crowley and Aziraphale's respective strengths and weaknesses mesh with each other to make a strong, stable whole. As I said about Villainous above, the story is very much worth having to skim over some scenes that are more explicit than I usually like.

You're Just a Little Under Rehearsed by MickyRC (@one-with-the-floor)

Drama teacher Crowley loves directing the Tadfield Community Players' shows—interacting with the rest of the staff at the community center, not so much. So when he meets the new accompanist for this year's musical, he's shocked to find that he might actually like him. Possibly more than like, if he's being honest.

Aziraphale is fresh from leaving a long career as a church pianist, and hoping that a new job will get him out of the lonely rut he's found himself in. The attention and kindness of the flashy community theater director are unexpected, but not unwelcome. Far from it.

But with a community theater to run, a show to put on, and a disgruntled R.P. Tyler looking for any excuse to get rid of Crowley and his theater program, will they be able to make a relationship work? And, more importantly, can they make sure the show still goes on?

Very fun and wholesome, packed with putting-on-a-play shenanigans (Peter Pan, in this case). The Crowley is Good With Kids AO3 tag is in full force here; his interactions with the younger members of the cast, especially the Them, are really well-done.

the many-venomed earth by curtaincall (@fremulon)

It’s the trial of the century: bestselling mystery author Anthony Crowley stands accused of poisoning his former lover. He’s got means (arsenic), motive (the breakup), and opportunity (a meeting the night of the murder); his guilt seems certain.

Certain, that is, to everyone except Lord Aziraphale Eastgate, rare book collector and amateur detective. Aziraphale’s not sure why he’s so convinced of Crowley’s innocence, but he’s determined to save him from the gallows--by finding the real murderer before it’s too late.

This is a mashup with Strong Poison, one of Dorothy Sayers' Lord Peter Wimsey/Harriet Vane novels, and the combination works really well. Peter’s intelligence and post-case moral qualms both transfer nicely onto Aziraphale, and the plot and characters hit the same beats as the original novel without being an exact copy.

Oneshots:

A Soft Kind of Strength by @anonymousdandelion

"Y’r soft,” Crowley mumbles one day, drowsily nuzzling into Aziraphale’s well-cushioned lap. “Ssosoft.”

Aziraphale blinks, smiles bemusedly, and ruffles his partner’s hair. “Yes, dear, I’m well aware. Go back to sleep.”

“Ssssoft,” Crowley repeats, more insistently, and it seems he hasn’t quite dozed off again after all, fixated now on whatever thought grabbed his half-asleep and half-inebriated brain. He lifts his head, rolling so he’s looking up into Aziraphale’s face. “You. Soft. S’good. Good thing. Y’know that, that, that s’good, right?”

I'm a big fan of Soft Aziraphale (in every sense of the word), and this sweet fic makes the excellent point that, rather than his being secretly strong under the softness, his softness is his strength.

Temperance by effing_gravity

In the wake of the Fauxpocalypse, Aziraphale does his utmost to live his best and pettiest life.

In which Aziraphale makes a point of both consciously ignoring Gabriel's remarks about the shape of his corporation and dispensing blessings and gentle encouragement to humans struggling with their own body image issues.

Keeping Tabs by @a-case-of-the-hiccups and FriendshipCastle

A juxtaposition of Heaven's archive of Aziraphale's miracles compared with the sadly lacking state of Hell's temptation logs.

This fic was obviously written by people with cataloguing experience! I like the OCs in charge of Heaven and Hell’s respective departments, especially the tetchy, bespectacled archivist angel Pravuil.

Adopt Don't Shop by @luckyspike

Inspired by Chekhov's cat AU comics 'Good Meowmens', here is a fanfic in which Anathema and Newt are humans, and Aziraphale and Crowley are cats. Not disguised as cats, not trapped in cat bodies, just actual elderly cats that are inseparable.

A truly excellent bit of crack! Aziraphale and Crowley’s personalities come out surprisingly clearly in their cat selves. For extra fun, play spot-the-angel/demon with the other cats at the shelter!

#good omens #fanfic #recommendations

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bowiebond · 2 years

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Hell’s Comin’ With Me by Poor Man’s Poison gives me major Billy’s real villain arc vibes. Here me out;

They all laughed as he turned around slow They said you ain't welcome 'round here anymore You just might as well go He wiped the blood from his face as he slowly came to his knees He said, I'll be back when you least expect it And hell's coming with me Hell's coming with me

Billy dies and wakes up in the Upside Down, and he’s alone. No one else who got flayed and died is there. It’s just him. The quiet is enough to drive anyone insane.

There is a hill at the bottom of the valley Where all the poor souls go when they die And if you listen real close You can hear em' like a ghost Saying you're never gonna make it out alive

He spends months there, it feels like years, and he spends every day getting angrier and angrier as he kills monsters with an axe he found and sharpens until it’s like butter to slice through their heads. He’s rage incarnate by the time he stumbles upon Henry’s home. He tries to taunt him with his memories, his despair, but for once, his anger is a stronger weapon than his trauma. Anger is who he is now, and there’s no keeping it on a leash. He does the unthinkable with all the time he has; he kills Vecna before he gets the chance to open his damn gates.

There is a town at the bottom of that hill They got a secret that they keep like a slave They got a black magic preacher (ooh) We'd do well to let him teach her You'll be heading up that hill to the grave

Vecna’s death causes a gaping hole, a gate, just like the first time. Billy knows it’s one, because the MindFlayer knew too. He takes his chance to leave, and he thought he’d feel relief, until he finds his grave. And the words on his headstone make acid slip from his heart into his veins and he realizes that nobody had even left him flowers, or tended to his headstone that’s beginning to grow moss at the base. He had been forgotten.

And it is well, with my soul You line your pockets full of money that you steal from the poor And on your way down to hell, you hear me ring that bell I'd pay the devil twice as much to keep your soul

It’s even worse when he goes to his house and nobody is there. It’s sold. They fucking moved again, left his body in this hick town forever. It leads him to find the nearest drink - he doesn’t give a shit that he’s covered in black blood or that he’s carrying an axe. He’s shadowed by the night and he doesn’t care. But he walks into the nearest pub and there’s Susan, behind the bar, and it’s even worse than he imagined. He follows her to the trailer park and realizes that it was only Neil who left. And he is furious.

There was a drifter passing through that little valley See he had promised he was coming back to town (coming back to town) They didn't know him by his face, or by the gun around his waist (ooh) But he come back to burn that town to the ground

His resolve is settled quickly, with fire in his gut. He wants this entire town to burn. This town that he used his last dying breath to save? He could stop it’s oxygen all together with his hands alone. He wanted it to crumble for forgetting him. It’s not hard to find Neil’s number. Phone books, they’re a miracle sometimes, and Susan has his last purchase on his card printed in her drawer like some fucking sap. “You better come back, you cowardly sack of shit. Your son has some final words to say to you before you discard your favorite punching bag, sir.”

First there was fire, then there was smoke Then that preacher man was hangin' by a rope Then they all fell to their knees and begged that drifter Begged him please, as he raised his fist before he spoke

Neil comes. Of course he does. His son is alive, his possession is still functioning and he needs to be disciplined for disappearing, for talking to him like that, but the first thing he sees when he drives into Hawkins in smoke, and fire that doesn’t die when water douses it because it’s not from a match, it’s from Billy. “Nice of you to come back, old man.” Billy is doused in fresh red blood and grinning, axe dripping, and he looks like the wrath of God himself come to life. Murderous and bloody. He drags Neil out of the car with strength no human should possess, and it feels right to watch his fathers face crumble with pure fear as he kicks him down in the street.

I am the righteous hand of God And I am the devil that you forgot And I told you one day you will see That I'll be back I guarantee And that hell's coming, hell's coming Hell, hell's coming with me

With Vecna no longer connected to the hive mind, the last host is Billy. He is the host of the Upside Down, and his anger is the command to unleash when he splits his fathers head open with his axe against the concrete. Hawkins would be nothing by the dawn, and Billy can only feel a warped sense of justice and vindication as he watches his hell beasts, clones of ones he had slaughter many times in the beginning, destroy the town that had been the bane of existence since he arrived.

And it is well, with my soul You line your pockets full of money that you steal from the poor And on your way down to hell, you hear me ring that bell And I said, hell's coming with me (hell's coming with me)

Billy has won. And victory is sweet, and refreshing, and maddening. He is drunk on it. His only thought once Hawkins is nothing in the distance, is how far he can go with his new pets. How much can he destroy?

He would just have to find out, now wouldn’t he?

#oh you want Billy to be a villain?#i'll make him a fucking villain then >:)#billy hargrove #villain au i guess?#dark billy hargrove #tw gore #?#tw violence #superpowered billy hargrove #pyro billy hargrove

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jessjustplay · 1 year

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Currently Playing I am Setsuna - Update 1.2

April 16, 2023

Well, I sure wasn't expecting any of this.

We made it to Flonia and met the king. We learned about a town nearby called Tenderville where refugees go to find shelter, all thanks to Lord Avalo. He told us about a man named Akash and that he could fly an airship, so we are on the hunt for him. We search for him in Tenderville, but only meet an old man named Dinas.

Old Man Dinas tells us he is making up for a past sin and wants to help as many people as he can. Dinas tells us where and how to find Akash, who happens to be in a pub at Flonia. We go to the Lord Avalo to get permission to leave, only to find other this MF is bad. (I love not trying to guess a story line because my jaw DROPPED.)

He kidnaps Setsuna and our new friend, Kir, who is apparently very special. We go to the airship and fight some monsters and the creepy grim reaper dude shows up again, attacking Lord Avalo, only to have his dad (Dinas) take the blow. Is Avalo turning a new leaf? Who knows, but he sucks. Apparently he is making deals with the monsters by sacrificing people. Avalo doesn't think the Sacrificial Pilgrimage is strong enough to tide the monsters over, so he has been using the refugees from Tenderville as sacrifices of his own to appease the monsters. SO. SCARY. So spooky. So creepy. (But what a great villain, am I right?)

Setsuna ended up getting hurt during all this, so Kir is taking us to his village. I am getting MAJOR Final Fantasy X vibes. The little dude (Kir) reminds me of Vivi, and his secret village with a secret barrier reminds of the Black Mage Village. Nidr is still reminding me of Auron, and Aeterna had a moment that made me think of Lulu. Also, the whole Avalo/Dinas is very reminiscent of Seymour/Jyscal.

On our way to Kir's village, he and Nidr have some funny back-and-forth. They like to pick on each other, which gives each character a lot of personality. Once at the village, Kir hits us with some deep thoughts which I found to be very profound and inspiring.

And after the whole sequences of events at this village, we face off with a really tough boss! It took me 3 tries to eventually find my footing and defeat the monster. I used Endir, Kir, and Aeterna in my party. Endir was healing with the Aura ability (which heals status ailments when used with a Momentum), Kir was attacking with a Fire spell, and Aeterna was alternating between attacks and casting Protect on everyone. It eventually worked out (just barely!!). Whew!

My plan is to go back to the forest to do a lot of grinding. I need more money to upgrade weapons! After that, I think we are heading to a place called Twallusk Mountains.

#i am setsuna #currently playing

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vonlipvig · 1 year

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Peter, Dave, Alan, Katie, and Juilia animals!

This is gonna be fully Vibe Based, ok? No thoughts head empty but also i am Right somehow, ok LET'S GO.

Julia: A sheep! Listen, she gives me Zootopia villain vibes, sweet benevolent leader with a troubled mind, I think that works really well! Did you see her when she was pretending to cry during the finaly and Megan called her out? 100% wolf-in-sheep's-clothing behavior right there.

Peter: I wanna sayyyyy a rhino, I think! Big, loud, in your face kinda personality, but a lot kinder underneath once you get to know him. But yeah, definitely an animal that could tell you to fuck off in many colourful ways (and would go really well with sheep!Julia on the ballot!).

Alan: Ooooh, well if we're going with sheep!Julia we might as well have wolf!Alan, right? Like, a wolf is still a dog and can look as goofy and as cute as any dog (and man, does pre-Disrupt Alan look like a FOOL), but there's no denying that they're intimidating and commanding as well! Bear could work, too, but I'm digging the wolf.

(also damn, nobody told me that I completely missed my chance to say Megan Wolf? for SHAME)

Katie: I think she could be like, a cute little bird, kinda like a blue jay or something like that (cut me some slack, I don't know my birds!). But yeah, she looks all prim and delicate, but imagining bird!Katie standing up to wolf!Alan and cussing him out is just so delightful.

Dave: Fuck it, a meerkat, why not. That's an animal that would 100% ditch its job to go to the pub if I've ever seen one.

And you didn't ask for it, but I think Alex could be a cat, cause I like cats, and also who else would be pressing all those colourful buttons on the editing console? We're literally pointing a big red laser and making them do all the work already!

#this is so funny dfdkjfdjf some furry artist go and draw this AU now dkjfhdkjf #juli answers #not for broadcast #nfb asks

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terrible-leviathan · 3 years

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Ok since osmp is technically fucking dead, let's go over what they took from us

Villains bee duo

Morally Ambiguous Tommyinnit who's more sinister and smart than he makes himself out to be

A cool arena where they can all have pvp matches and actually test out their powers against each other!!

The Crowfather

The Pub(e) where it accomodates their weaknesses/disabilities so they can all hangout

Pretty spawn area/bases

They're all neighbors

No one has to rp hate each other

The Crowfather

A Hero vs Villain storyline (and Tommy is the mastermind??)

The vibes

Op Jack Manifold who's also the bar owner and bartender

Sneeg, Fundy, and Charlie all part of the short squad

The rocket duo having a Romeo and Juliet /p moment since Jack can't touch water and Niki is a fish

Sneegsnag

The comedic genius of Technoblade just being a human

GHOSTBUR BEING CANON APPARENTLY

Bench trio shenanigans where they're just fucking around and everyone has to deal with their shit cuz villain arc moment™

#crowfather gets repeated? thats on purpose cuz crowfather deserves to get repeated #i fucking miss osmp *sobs*#mcyt #dream smp #osmp #tommyinnit #ranboo #tubbo #bee duo #philza #wilbur soot #technoblade #nihachu #jack manifold #fundy #sneegsnag #charlie slimecicle

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anachronistic-falsehood · 3 years

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Tommy’s recent stream has led me to believe that the roleplay on Origins SMP can go one of two ways:

1: they make a plot, but it’s not very serious and we get early L’Manberg vibes from the whole thing, nobody knows or really cares what they’re doing, and it stays as a slice-of-life storyline with a fun superhero subplot, or

2: the Bench Trio gets the deranged villain arc they deserve, everything goes to shit, we get canon family relations and complicated conflicts, the pub(e) gets blown up like the community house, Wilbur’s prison cell that he’s building ends up being broken into or out of, Ranboo and Tommy make a good villain duo and manipulate their way into everyone’s lives, Phil feels betrayed when he finds out Tommy and Ranboo are the bad guys and becomes a vigilante, Tubbo the Nuke Boy tries to use Scott for war crimes....

there are two extremes here and i don’t know which one i want more

#origins smp #osmp #mcyt #on one hand: *holds gently* slice of life hybrid au my beloved #on the other hand: I’M A SUCKER FOR DEEP LORE

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hopemiller1 · 3 years

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ok so i have some nebulous thoughts about trent crimm (the independent) in headspace (s2e7).

(1) he seems different! don’t know if it’s cuz he was on a date, because he’s had a couple of drinks, or because this is the first time we’re seeing him in a non-work setting - which, if it’s the latter, would mean that this whole i’m-hot-shit, j-chillin, smooth mover vibe is his default (!!!) and that his hard-hitting, serious, businesslike mode is for work only. just the way he said “just out for a bite to eat, ya know?” the vibe was so totally different than anything i’ve seen from him before. and i just *know* this was a deliberate choice by either james lance’s or one of the show’s creators. what does it mean???? (it is also, somewhat disrespectfully, very sexy.)

(2) people are saying trent could be rupert’s snake in the grass. it might be wishful thinking but that doesn’t sound right to me. trent is really independent (pun absolutely intended) and he definitely doesn’t seem like he’d let himself be a lackey. also, i don’t think rupert’s coming back this season. i could be super wrong on that one but i feel like this season doesn’t really need a big bad villain. we’ve already got a bully (nate), anxiety/panic attacks (and most likely depression) (ted), relationship issues (rebecca, keeley and roy, beard and jane), etc. i don’t think they’ll throw rupert in, too - especially so late in the game.

(3) having said that, there’s no way this scene is a stand-alone. it reveals nothing to the audience about the plot, so i’m guessing it’s setting up something later. a huge article on mental health in sports w/ ted lasso near the end of the season? that’s the dream, anyway. and i feel like ted revealing to trent that he lied in the pub only to give him the scoop of the century because he trusts him to do it right would bring everything full circle and just be *chef’s kiss*

#ted lasso #trent crimm #trent crimm the independent #james lance #jason sudeikis #rebecca welton #hannah waddingham #keeley x roy #keeley jones #roy kent #roy x keeley #football #soccer #apple tv #jeremy swift #nate shelley

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lunammoon · 4 years

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The Problem With Hetalia (As told by someone who actually in the fandom until like, 2016)

I'm hoping this post will explain to people who are still into Hetalia why a lot of people have an issue with from the perspective of someone who knows a lot about the show.

TL;DR: By making the WW2 axis powers come across as a lovable idiot, his serious friend, and the stoic voice of reason, it downplays the serious nature of what the Axis did and seeing as the real-life Axis harmed real-life people, many people have a justifiable huge issue with this.

I will go more into depth about this under the cut.

A lot of people are talking about how Hetalia is coming back after 5 years and a lot of people are rightfully annoyed at the show. But what I'm seeing is that a lot of the people who are upset are people who clearly haven't watched the show and therefore are unable to explain to people who have watched it why it’s bad. The most that you hear is:

"it glorifies the Axis Powers" (which isn't 100% accurate although the assessment that they are portrayed in a way that makes them seem less bad is accurate)

"Hetalia Cosplayers wore Nazi uniforms in front of a Holocaust memorial" (which I'd say is more of an issue with fans than the show).

That is not to say that there isn't an issue with the show, because there really is. But these observations are unlikely to mean much to someone who watches Hetalia. So, in this thread, I'm going to explain why Hetalia is Problematic with the added context perspective of someone who was into the show during most of middle school and until Freshman year of high school.

I knew the human names, used to jam to "Always With You" and "Pub and Go" and “It’ll Settle Itself Somehow” and “Light my Heart” and “Absolute British Gentleman” and “Mein Gott” and “World Rondo” and “Excuse Me, I’m Sorry” and so, so many more.

I lost my shit with everyone else when the season 6 ep dropped and Italy danced like he was possessed by a demon. When I hear “ACE” family, I don’t think of Youtubers. I actually took a side on the FruUK vs UsUk debate and if you look in my archive, you can probably find some Hetalia posts that I’m too lazy to delete.

The point here being, I’ve actually seen the show so I know what I’m talking about. This isn’t an outsiders perspective is what I’m saying.

So, let’s get right into it. While technically only seasons 1-2 are officially actually called "Axis Powers" (Seasons 3-4 are called "World Series" Season 5 is "Beautiful World" and Season 6 is called "World Twinkle") WW2 and things relating to the Axis Powers are an important part of every season and appear prominently.

While Hetalia has covered many things from all different time periods, the two most common periods covered are the modern-day and of course, the second World War. The show is Japanese and (I assume) because Japan was on the Axis side, these portions focus more on the Axis Powers of Italy, Japan, and Germany. The Allies do come into play. And while the Allies aren't directly like, evil, which would've been FAR WORSE they've got a kind of Team Rocket-esque thing going on? They're not exactly mustache-twirling villains but they're clear antagonists. Make no mistakes.

I think the deserted Island arc is the best example of the problems many people have with the show.

Take for example, that beach fight. If you've watched Hetalia, you'll know the one I'm talking about. The one that they reused like, 50 times. The Allies are clearly shown as the antagonists/aggressors while the Axis are literally just vibing on a (kinda) deserted island and defending themselves.

Now, if this was three dudes chilling on the beach and they suddenly got attacked by another five dudes also on the beach who they then fought off until the five attackers ran away that’s be one thing.

The issue is that this is supposed to be a representation of WW2. It's basically saying "oh, Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan, and Fascist Italy were literally just vibing, not bothering anyone when suddenly, the Allies attacked for no reason. Luckily, they (the Allies) retreated because the Allies are Cowardly but they keep coming back and bothering them,". Do you see the issue there? Most of the beach arc seems to be the writer forgetting that these are supposed to be Nations, not a random Italian dude, a German dude, and a Japanese dude.

“Oh, but they don’t glorify Nazi Germany. They don’t really even talk about what Germany was doing! Look at this pic of Germany in a lab coat holding a dandelion :)“

That’s not the defense that you think it is and it’s actually a main part of the issue that I, and many other people have with Hetalia.

I think the scene where this issue is the most obvious is the one where they are gathering around a campfire and talking and one of them comes up with the name "the Axis". The whole scene has the same energy characters in a moe anime coming up with a band name.

They’re sitting on a beach at night. I think there might’ve been a campfire, the stars are out, and the three of them talk about their dream of making a world that revolved around them. One of them comes up with the name “the axis” and then they all talk about how you would translate "axis" in their language. It’s all very found family-esque. The way the scene is framed is to encourage you to route for them to reach their goal. It’s the same kind of tone you’d see in a shoujo with a girl telling her friends about how she wants to win the singing competition no matter what or in Sword Art Online when Kirito talks about saving Asuna.

The issue is that their goal isn’t to win some competition or to save someone they care about. It’s to spread facism, imperialism, and bring about genocide.

There of course don’t SAY that that’s their goal, and outside of a one off line in the English dub that’s been since censored, they don’t really bring up what Germany was up to during WW2 vis-a-vie the Holocaust and if they did bring it up, I either wasn’t paying attention, it was in the manga, or it was in one of Germany’s character songs.

The issue is that during WW2 the show seems to at best forget and at worst, gloss over it that the main trio that they're focusing on are the villains. And not like, fantasy villains. Actual real-life villains that hurt real people in the real world. Imagine if instead of Ludwig Beilschmidt and Feliciano Vargas, it was Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini.

Are you seeing the problem yet?

I get why people like to watch the show. Ignoring the WW2 bits, it’s actually pretty good. I, as an American, really like Alfred F. Jones and the way he’s portrayed.

If Hetalia had stuck to non-WW2 related things such as that episode where the nations all talk about how horror movies differ in their nations, or they talked about their Christmas traditions. Or the ones where America and Japan are roommates. Or when they showed that time when America airdropped XL condoms on Russia labeling them as "small" for intimidation reasons. Or that series of episodes where they talked about Micronations. Or that time they all had to come together to fight aliens. Or the bit where they talked about the WW1 Christmas Armistice. Then it would be fine.

The issue is that they didn’t.

If they kept WW2 stuff for SOME reason. They had two options.

Make the axis as proper villains

Be explicit in showing that the nations will doesn't reflect what their leader wants.

The first option wouldn’t be ideal if they wanted to cover any time period other than World War 2. The axis would be too unlikable and I doubt that an anime where Japan is the villain would appeal much to Japanese audiences.

But what about the second option. Have a bit where Ludwig is passing out White Rose pamphlets or smuggling people to safety.

Have Kiku (Japan for people who don’t watch Hetalia) purposefully looking the other way as Sugihara writes visas to get people to safety and covering for him against his boss. SOMETHING!

But instead of doing either of those, they took the bad third option which was, their choice to instead make the axis seem like likable individuals who are a group of three good friends who work together will in contrast with the “bumbling Allies” who are barely cohesive and constantly fight and argue. At best, makes it seem like both sides had a point and at worst, makes it seem like the Axis was a better than the Allies.

All of this is to say that liking Hetalia does not make you inherently a bad person, but you need to be more critical of what you watch and understand that there is a reason that some people have a genuine issue with it and they have a very good reason for that. You can still watch it the show, but do keep this information in the back of your brain as you do

#hetalia #hetalia discourse #hetalia 2021 #aph hetalia #discourse #long post #post under the cut #i hope that i explained myself well

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nazghoulz · 4 years

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The Definitive Ranking of Richard Armitage’s Acting Roles, Rated Exclusively by How Hot I Find Him In Screengrabs

Richard Armitage. As a diehard Thorin Oakenshield fan I certainly have a complicated relationship with him, mainly because I can never decide if I find him inherently hot or not. On the one hand, I’m a hardcore Thorinfucker. On the other hand my gay ass sees a headshot of Mr. Armitage and I’m just like, “Oh, no thank you.” So in order to set myself to rights, I have gone through Mr. Armitage’s IMDB and done a definitive ranking of all his 44 screen roles on there, based completely and arbitrarily on how hot I find him in screenshots. (Thank you to all the hardcore Armitage Fuckers who keep wordpress blogs with screengrabs of his various cameos and bit parts; my respect for you cannot be put into words.) I haven’t seen like 90% of these properties, and I didn’t bother to research them, so these are mainly just gut first impressions. I hope this helps anyone else out there who as confused by him as I am. Enjoy ?

44. Father Quart in The Seville Communion/The Man From Rome (2020) — ??/10

I don’t think this movie is out yet? Idk I haven’t been able to find any stills of him, let alone much information about the movie itself. It’s listed on his IMDB though! And apparently he’s playing a priest...which could be extremely 👁️👁️ if done correctly.

43. Unnamed Naboo Fighter Pilot in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) — 1/10

OH SWEETIE NO!!!!! This physically pains me to say this, because I unironically love this terrible movie with my whole heart, but unlike a yung Kiera Knightley’s role (pictured front and center) as Padmé’s loyal body double Sabé, this is probably a cameo that we would all like to forget about. The only thing Richard has to offer is this unfortunate turtle-faced realness. This helmet does him no favors.

42. Man in Pub in Boon (1992) — 2/10

As far as I know this is Richard’s first acting credit on IMDB, and he for sure is working the background extra energy. Go on girl give us nothing! He does have a decent backside though, and it’s better than looking at unfortunate turtle face, so I give this one a 2.

41. Paul Andrews in Between the Sheets (2003) — 2/10

I can’t really articulate why, but I absolutely despise every screenshot I see of Richard Armitage in this role. He is completely unhot, and not even in a way I can laugh at. He takes no advantage of his assets, he has no charisma, no magnetism, no nothing. This is Richard Armitage at his most white bread rando, in a way that makes me actively dislike him. Pbbbbttth. Bad. Throw this whole thing away.

40. Craig Parker in Casualty (2001) — 2/10

I don’t know, it’s like the perfect storm of the gelled 2001 hair, the terrible quarter? eighth? zip sweater, and overall, er, skeezy vibes that he gives off that makes him particularly unhot in this role. Perhaps not as reprehensible as Unhot Paul, but still. I think the sheer boringness of this has to count for something. Blech.

39. Dr. Tom Steele in Doctors (2001) — 2.5/10

He honestly looks like a villain in an early season of Alias, which... well. Quentin Tarantino was cast as a bit-part villain in Alias season one, so take that as you will. But at least he’s compelling here, which is why he gets half a point over Unhot Paul.

38. Steven in Frozen (2005) — 3/10

Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends! Also short haircuts do nothing for you, Richard. Styled like this, they just serve to make you look sort of like a sleaze.

37. Peter Macduff in ShakespeaRe-Told (2005) — 3/10

He honestly looks like he could be a guest star in Friends in this one, where he’s a guy named Jason who Ross meets in Central Perk where they find they have a lot in common. Ross introduces Jason to Monica and they really hit it off, but it all comes crashing down because while Jason is sensitive and writes poetry, he also thinks that the Earth is flat. The rest of the episode is trying to get rid of Jason while he becomes increasingly obsessed with Monica, and Ross cannot quite let go trying to prove to Jason that the world is round. Anyway. Macduff Flat Earth Jason isn’t quite as unhot as Unhot Paul, but he’s pretty much on the same level as Tired Steven.

36. Phillip Durrant in Marple (2007) — 3/10

Something about him in this image really makes me want to punch him in the face. It’s huge Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3 energy.

35. Young Claude Monet in The Impressionists (2006) — 3.5/10

I’M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND IS !!! CARNIVAL BARKER !!!!! STEP RIGHT UP TO SEE THE WORST GOATEE IN HISTORY !!! I was actually going to give Yung Claude a 2 but the more I look at this terrible beard the more impressed I am with the boldness of this look, so I had to bump it up to 3.5. Idk. Just look at this. It’s incredible, especially knowing what kind of beard Armitage can grow himself !!!!!!!!

34. Heinz Kruger in Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) — 3.5/10

This is definitely the best looking he’s been so far in this list, but he’s a Nazi in this one, which makes him unsexy on principle. But do I feel a little something when he gets pinned to the ground by jacked Chris Evans with the above look on his face right before he swallows his cyanide pill? Can neither confirm nor deny. They are also truly playing into his inherently sinister bone structure, so I can respect that.

33. Percy Courtney in Miss Marie Lloyd (2007) — 4/10

Even including Yung Claude and Nazi Heinz, I think Nothing Percy is probably the weakest of Richard’s period looks, mostly because he looks like, well, nothing. He certainly doesn’t pull off that top hat like he does in North and South, and the secret to that might be the lack of sideburns. In this one he just sort of reminds me of the asshole fiance in Titanic.

32. Philip Turner in The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (2005) — 4/10

He’s really giving off bargain bin Hugh Jackman as Wolverine vibes here, if Logan’s energy was more “murderer in a Hallmark channel mystery” than “superhero.” Though, given what sort of show this is, that may be the point! Idk, this isn’t the worst. At least he has a decent haircut in this one. Still, I feel absolutely nothing when I look at him. He’s simply royalty-free stock music given human form.

31. Dr. Alec Track in The Golden Hour (2005) — 4.5/10

I could see how this conceivably be sexy in this role, but to be honest, he’s still nothing to me, sorry. He gets some extra points because he obviously worked out for this role and the hard nips through a white undershirt is a commendable look. I whole-heartedly respect Doctor Alec’s thottitude.

30. Daryl in Staged (1999) — 4.5/10

Speaking of thottitude!!!!! This is one cream-faced business boy that I can certainly get into! He looks like the love interest in a pre-Hayes code homoerotic thriller from the early 1930s. I’m sure that’s just because of the lighting and general staging of this production, but hm... demure. Love it.

29. Capt. Ian Macalwain in Ultimate Force (2003) — 4.5/10

Well, he looks like a character from M*A*S*H but with no charisma, or like an extra in The Great Escape who snitches on Steve McQueen to the Nazis. Also in half the pictures I find of him from this he’s wearing this terrible beret, which I know he can pull off because of a role that ranks much higher on this list. Whoever styles this man really needs to pay attention to what sort of headgear they put on him.

28. Epiphanes in Cleopatra (1999) — 5/10

Speaking of headgear, you know what?? He doesn’t look awful here. A solid 5, perfectly acceptable. I think the helmet does a lot to accentuate the sharpness of his face in this extremely bit part, though the eyeliner definitely also helps as well.

27. John Mulligan in Moving On (2009) — 5/10

Mr. Armitage’s characters can really have potential when a production’s stylist allows him to wear scruff (IN A WAY THAT LOOKS NATURAL, LOOKING AT YOU YUNG CLAUDE). However, as it is with John Mulligan in Moving On here, he just sort of looks like a rando? They’re not playing into the inherent angularity of his face, which for me makes it sort of confusing regarding what sort of emotion I’m supposed to feel while looking at him. As it is, I’m just like, “Yup, that sure is a regular human man, right there.”

26. Smug Man at Party in This Year’s Love (1999) — 5/10

This is the face of a man who less smug and is more DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND !!!! Idk. He’s cute here, I’ll admit. That’s all I have to say about it.

25. John Standring in Sparkhouse (2002) — 5.5/10

I enjoy the bold choice of giving him wavy hair in this one, but I’m not sure he quite pulls it off. It doesn’t look bad, per se, just... he looks completely nonthreatening. Which I guess could be someone’s thing, but not mine. He honestly looks like a knock-off Will Graham, sans dogs and trauma.

24. Gary in Into the Storm (2014) — 5.5/10

I think the thing that really gets me is that this character’s name is Gary. Who on God’s green Earth looks at Richard Armitage and goes, “Ah yes, you do look like a Gary” ??? I don’t think I know of a single non-American Gary, especially since the name Gary only got popularized after Gary Cooper renamed himself after his hometown of Gary, Indiana!!!! It wasn’t really a name for human men before that!!!! I want to live in the alternate universe where Frank Cooper was originally from Albuquerque and named himself Albuquerque Cooper and this character is named as such. Gary. Really.

23. King Oleron in Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) — 5.5/10

I truly hate how much his facial expressions in these stills remind me of Thorin, considering how bad he looks otherwise. Like his face his fine, I guess, especially since this is the first instance of his full beard. I’m charmed despite myself! Take me to wonderland, O King.

22. Adam Price in The Stranger (2020) — 5.5/10

For as compelling as people call this series, Richard here isn’t very much so imo. But despite my utter lack of interest, he doesn’t look bad per se. He just sort of has that stubbly white man blandness that colors a lot of his more recent roles. Like, at least his bad mid-2000′s styling had character. This is just the visual representation of a vague handwave.

21. Harry Kennedy in The Vicar of Dibley (2006) — 6/10

Gosh... floppy hair, cute sweaters... he also seems to be smiling a lot in this one, which is nice! The only thing I have to complain about is that he looks very much like if Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman circa Kate and Leopold had a baby, which may not necessarily be too much of a bad thing, but I can’t unsee it.

20. Sgt. John Porter in Strike Back (2010) — 6/10

Ah, back to poorly suited haircuts. At least he’s a little bit gritter and grimier than we’ve seen so far, and I will say Richard Armitage does look good covered in dirt, as we will see later on. Also he’s got biceps in this one, which, hell yeah.

19. Ricky Deeming in Inspector George Gently (2007) — 6/10

I’M HAVING THE HARDEST TIME RIGHT NOW RANKING THIS ONE BC OF THIS INCREDIBLE LITTLE WHITE SCARF-RIDING LEATHERS COMBO!!! WHICH ABSOLUTE GENIUS DECIDED THIS!!!! EVERY SCREENSHOT OF HIM IN HIS EPISODE HAS THIS!!! Part of me just wants to give Stylish Ricky a big fat 10 because I’m gay and adore the sheer audacity of this look, but I still have to be fair and rank his overall aura accordingly. I think he’s a handsome extremely gay-coded motorcycle lad in this one, but he doesn’t exactly rev my engine, so to speak.

18. Lucas North in Spooks (2008) — 6/10

The tattoos really spice this one up. Luke could have been plagued by the problems inherent in Regular Mulligan’s Moving On styling, but this guy has an edge to him. He has a good haircut and 5′ o’clock shadow, which is something I’ve figured out is integral to Armitage Hotness. I feel like if I got to know this character I could possibly find him sexy.

17. Raymond de Merville in Pilgrimage (2017) — 6.5/10

Speaking of bad haircuts, this one is his undoing. This is almost the perfect balance between full beard and short haircut, which is the only way a short haircut works on this man, but they ruined it with this one! They gave him a bad bowl fade, which completely undoes any inherent sexiness that comes with being a knight. Not even the fact that he’s covered in dirt can turn me on at this point, ugh. Guy of Gisbourne he is not!!!

16. Tom Calahan in Brain on Fire (2016) — 6.5/10

Oh hell yes, WELCUM 2 DA DILF ZONE!!! I’m not super duper thrilled with the looks I’ve seen from this movie, but he seems scruffy and comfy in a way that is slightly refreshing for ol’ Richard. This is certainly the best of his normie looks so far. I’m just sad it took them 24 years to figure out how to style him properly for sympathetic roles in a contemporary setting.

15. James in My Zoe (2019) — 6.5/10

It’s another DILF look, slightly edgier than Comfy Tom but none of that sexy tired energy that we’ll see from Ocean’s 8. I don’t know !! Jimmy here doesn’t exactly thrill me, I think I prefer Tom’s flannels to this sharp bomber jacket/white t shirt combo seen here. Oh well! I am extremely 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 that he can just casually palm that soccer ball like that.

14. John Thornton in North & South (2004) — 7/10

Alright. I’m sorry. I just don’t find him that hot in this role. Like yeah, he’s got the scruff and the sideburns that work to his advantage, and the setting does make this character inherently sexy, but in some screenshots he screams too much of an aforementioned Kate and Leopold (the best Meg Ryan movie, imo) era Hugh Jackman to me. And if I was particularly into that, I would just watch Kate and Leopold again. I will admit, however, that this rating could be subject to change if I actually took the time to watch this show.

13. Chop in Urban and the Shed Crew (2015) — 7/10

...I’M??? INTO IT??? He’s dirty and scruffy but also has kind eyes.... I feel like this is knock off Will Graham who has blossomed into his own. His run down, grime-covered own. He’s back edging into Bradley Cooper territory, but somehow it works for him in this one. Like, I’m 89% sure it’s the DILF vibes I’ve been getting from the other screengrabs I’ve seen of this role, and this particular flavor of DILF is way sexier than Jimmy or Comfy Tom.

12. Francis Dolarhyde in Hannibal (2015) — 7/10

His Caesar cut doesn’t bother me quite so much in this, probably because he is pretty explicitly playing a villain in a series that doesn’t have any basis in reality. A villain who is ripped, and who can effortlessly throw real Will Graham around. Armitage uses his inherent sinisterness to great effect as the Red Dragon, which is good actually! I think a lot of how hot he is in any particular role really depends on whether the styling allows him to play to his strengths...idk! I’m not usually a huge fan of clean shaven Armitage, but it works for Frank here.

11. Daniel Miller in Berlin Station (2016) — 7/10

As much as I adore this particular look (beard + fade + green army jacket), I have to compromise and give Danny a 7/10 because it seems like the first season they styled him in usual stubbly white man blandness. I’d say screengrabs from s1 are a solid 6, while this might be an 8, so the average is a 7. That’s all I have to say about this!

10. Claude Becker in Ocean’s 8 (2018) — 7.5/10

!!!!! I love him in this role, I about had a conniption in the theater because I absolutely was not expecting him!! He looks perfectly ruffled and scruffy, edgier than either Comfy Tom or Jimmy, which I’m very into. That plus his two borzois (objectively the best looking dogs on the planet) really put Old Claude over the top for me. Thank you, thank you Hollywood stylists for finally figuring out what to do with him for roles as a Normal Man.

9. Richard Hall in The Lodge (2019) — 7.5/10

I don’t know anything about this movie, but it seems pretty spooky, which I’m into. I think Richard is well suited for this sort of horror/thriller role, where his angular features can play into the overall vibe rather than some hapless stylist trying to work around them. He looks like another cozy DILF here but with a bite to him, like someone who would do anything to protect his brood. I mean, he’s teaching this child to shoot! But idk, he also has the potential for Jack Nicholson in The Shining energy, which I also could be....hm... into. Idk. Is this on Netflix??

8. Lee in Cold Feet (2003) — 7.5/10

FUN!!! FLIRTY!!!! OTTER VIBES!!!!! I LOVE THIS, he seems so goofy here, and Armitage doesn’t usually pull off goofy that well! I’ve giggled at literally every screenshot I could find from the four episodes he was in this show, he seems like a real himbo. I’m a huge fan, even if it comes at the cost of dehydration abs.

7. William Chatford in Malice Aforethought (2005) — 7.5/10

Hoo hoo HOO DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!!! Maybe it’s just because I’ve been watching the new season of The Alienist and the new dark and gritty HBO reboot of Perry Mason back to back, but sue me, I love the bold choice they made with giving him a pencil moustache here. He looks like a hot Howard Hughes; if cream-faced business boy Daryl from Staged is the young ingenue in the pre-Hayes Code thriller I cast him in, Bill here is the sexy antagonist. I desperately want to hear a perfect Transatlantic accent coming out out of that mouth. This look fucks and I’m sticking to that no matter what.

6. Trevor Belmont in Castlevania (2017) — 8/10

Ah, yes, speaking of king himbos... do me a favor and look me right in the eye and tell me that you wouldn’t fuck Trevor Belmont. You can’t, can you?????? At least 80% of Richard Armitage’s inherent hotness stems from his voice, and you can’t tell me there isn’t anything sexier than thinking about letting that guy loose in a recording studio and letting him say fuck. Look, Trevor may be drawn that way, but it’s the absolute stupidity coming out of his mouth in that sweet baritone that makes me want to be raw-dogged by 100% pure Romanian beef.

5. Dr. Scott White in Sleepwalker (2017) — 8/10

Much like I had intimated when talking about Hot Danny in Berlin Station, this is Peak contemporary normie Richard Armitage styling. I honestly think The Hobbit either awakened something in him, or casting directors finally figured out he looks way good with a full beard. His crew cut even works with his whole look, which is a miracle!!!! I think he should be contractually obligated to have a full beard in all of his future roles, but that’s just me.

4. Guy of Gisbourne in Robin Hood (2006) — 8.5/10

I honestly can’t believe I’m ranking Guy so far up here, but honestly, THIS RULES!!!!!! THIS FUCKS!!!!!!!!! Which is incredible due to Guy’s lack of beard, but I’m weirdly okay with it? Like sure, he looks like he’d probably call me a slur in front of his shitty friends, but he also looks like he could tenderly pound me into the mattress in a way that would have me questioning my commitment to the “no emotions” clause of our clandestine no-strings-attached sex agreement. Anyway. Guy of Gisbourne if you see this im free thursday night. please message me back if you’re free thursday night when i am fr

3. Angus in Macbeth (1999) — 8.5/10

HHHNGHGNHNGHGN HE’S SO HOT.....!!! HE’S SO HOT!!!!! Leather jacket!!! Scruff!! Dirt!!!! Flattering beret!!!!! He’s so hot, and the worst part about this is that this was filmed in NINETEEN NINETY NINE!!!!!!!!!!!! Which means we could have always had this, had stylists and makeup artists PLAYED TO HIS STRENGTHS!!!!! He’s so hot I’m getting legitimately angry. Without scruff and dirt this man is nothing. N o t h i n g.

2. John Proctor in The Crucible (2014) — 9/10

Look, I know I have a type. But... this guy is just so hot, Daniel Day Lewis please step aside!!!! Contemporary theater historians describe John Proctor as a “strong beast of a man,” and... hhhHHOOOGH HELL YEAH!!! HELL !!!! YEAH !!!!! Like, his dick got almost his entire Puritan village, including himself, accused of witchcraft and like, looking at this guy, I kind of get it. I would probably go to war over the raw animal beauty of this horrible dirty, greasy man. Sue me, I confess. I saw Goody Osburn with the devil.

1. Thorin II Oakenshield in The Hobbit Trilogy — 9.5/10

Come on. You knew it was going to be this guy. Look at my icon for christ’s sake. I am completely biased, I cannot look at his pictures objectively. Anyway. Thank you so much for reading, this was a very stupid list.

#rene rambles #this is the worst thing ive ever done tbh #richard armitage

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djpurple3 · 4 years

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Also, if the last was like, extremely specific and that's not your thing, I would be also up for any Roceit fluff, we definitely need more o those

Set after the newest ep (POF). Roman and Janus have a conversation like adults. Theyre tryin 2 heal ✌

Also im sick and tired and writing this on m phone so if theres mistakes m sorry

---

Roman and Janus sat across from each other, both looking vaguely uncomfortable. Between them sat a milkshale each. Janus found his eyes wandering anywhere but the prince before him, looking still far too dashing even in casual clothes, taking in the 1950s style milkbar Roman had made for them to go to to.... talk.

It wasn't empty, there was a small crowd, and soft tunez crooned from a jukebox in the corner, and the waitors all had little checkered aprons and hats. Colourful neon strip lighting in ran across the counter and walls, and Janus noticed it was red and yellow, which had him shifting in his padded red faux-leather seat to turn his attention back to why they were here.

Roman was busying himself nursing his milkshake like he was a travel-weary stranger in a pub with a tankard of ale, but when Janus cleared his throat, the prince looked up.

"Hi," Janus said limply.

A smile grated about Roman's lips.

"Hi," he replied.

Well. Hellos were a good start.

"This is a very cool place," Janus continued quietly, nodding around at their surroundings. "Impeccable vibes. Thank you for bringing me here."

Roman looked down, like he didn't want to accept the compliment in case he was getting ahead of himself.

Janus looked at him, studying him, and after a moment of eyes prickling his skin, Roman looked up sharply.

"What?"

Janus folded his hands and sighed, but it wasn't a fed-up sigh like Roman was used to receiving. It was sad and resigned and so very tired, and it was the sort of sigh Roman frequently had been making recently too.

It was a sigh of someone who had mistakes they wanted to fix, and pride they had to push away.

Yes, Roman knew it well.

"Roman," Janus led with. "I apologise."

Roman stared at him, and a part of him hated that Janus beat him to the punch. What was a hero who couldn't learn from his mistakes, be gracious, and apologise first?

"For snapping at you," Janus listed, twirling his straw between his fingerz, "and for insulting you pointedly. I apologise for confusing you, using you, and upsetting you. I apologise for all the grief I have caused you."

That... was a very good apology. It was annoying, almost. Roman had practised apology after apology in the mirror and none of them had been that good.

"I..." Roman nodded his head slowly. "Thank you. Thank you for apologising. I need to, too. I'm sorry for laughing at your name, for badmouthing you, for misunderstanding you and for insisting you were a villain. I should've known better."

Janus looked at him funny.

"Misunderstanding is not a malicious act," he piinted out. "You don't have to apologise for that."

Roman shrugged, and took a deliberate moment to have a drink.

"But thank you," Janus said with a smile. "I accept your apology. All's forgiven, Roman."

Roman choked on his milkshake.

All's forgiven.

Damn it, Janus had to just keep one-upping him on the good person front, didn't he? Or maybe Roman was just getting better and better at being bad.

"Well," Roman forced out. "I... I, um, forgive you, too."

The words felt sour. And bad. He felt bad. And angry. But mostly bad.

"You haven't," Janus noted, and his eyes softened at how Roman's shoulders slumped. "And that's okay."

"Honestly? I want to. I do. I want to forgive and forget and pretend this whole thing never happened, but..." Roman pushed his drink away from him. "I'm... angry. And tired. And i think i have to be something new, for Thomas, and I don't know what that is yet."

"That's okay," Janus repeated. "You don't have to yet, or even ever."

Roman stared at the side across the table from him incredulously.

Janus shifted in his seat again, but didn't change his answer.

"... Fine," Roman said evetuanlly. "I might be angry for a while."

"I can live with that."

"I might never know how to change."

"... I can live with that too."

"Can you?"

Janus sighed.

"Roman," he said. "I do really want you to be happy, you knoe what, right? Though I know my methods of showing it are terrible, I wish for your happiness so closely. And if that means distancing myself, I can do that. And if that means you don't talk to me for the next six years, well..."

Roman watched Janus roll his shoulders.

"I can do that too."

Roman stared at the side in front of him, before looking at the table.

I really do want you to be happy.

"Huh," he said. "... I won't take six years, but... I can't forget."

"I don't expect you to."

"Alright, then," Roman finsihed, and there was actually a weight lifted from his shoulders.

The expectations were... non-existant. That made a nice change. He smiled a tired but real smile at Janus, who slowly smiled vack.

"Thank you."

Janus nodded.

Then, he said, "Thoughts on brownies? Because I could go for one right now."

And Roman laughed, and agreed, and decided that maybe his grief wasn't going to be as impossibly long lived as it initially seemed.

#roceit #sanders sides #roman sanders #deceit sanders #janus sanders #djpurple3's writing yo #sanders sides fic #sanders sides ficlet

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