Talking about memory issues is so annoying 'cause like. You gotta make a joke out of it or people will make a joke out of you. Y'know? I've gotta make a joke about how my issues with remembering important or common information is because x or y or haha yeah I know I'm so stupid, because that's the only way to get ahead of the people who will inevitably use those same jokes to mock you. And I'm trying not to let my memory issues affect how I view my self-worth, and I try to go against the idea that intelligence (or lack thereof) is an indicator of anything deeper, and I know that having a hard time remembering details doesn't reflect on my morality at all, but... it's hard to keep at it when the world tells you otherwise. When school tells you memorization = smart = good, when people tell you not remembering things about them means you're rude and mean, when not remembering something or mixing up information in public or online spaces inevitably gets people laughing at you, and often used as an excuse for bigotry or just general asshole behavior of some kind or another against you.

It's so tiring.

i never was

i miss my old body

jan. 2022 - around 115lbs

i got too comfortable

Fall is almost here~

So, please enjoy some fall themed Remi snz ☺️

Remi might not like the wintertime much, especially now that they moved back to Alaska, but the crisp September air always just seems to recharge my boy mentally, even if he’s on a walk by himself while Levi works 🖤 (maybe he can sense that his creators birthday is next month? 😏)

Read more for vent, scroll if you don’t care 😂

Forever wishing I had cute snzblr friendships that I could partake in birthday activities like WAVs or fics or art for peoples birthdays but I always suck at replying and not gonna lie, 99% of the people I’ve replied to on snzblr trying to make friends with either 1. blocked /harassed me on anon with everyone else a month ago, 2. Only hit me up trying to snext but I’m married and just want friends to share my OCs with 😮‍💨😮‍💨 I never know if I’m trying to be friends with someone just for them to actually hate my guts and them be laughing at me with other users in another chat (‘:

There have been a handful of cool people that don’t fit into those categories, but I never know how to talk to people so it’s entirely on me … if you are one of those, I’m v sorry! I promise I don’t hate you 😭

Kind of sick of those "how to draw" guides for mobility aids people sometimes make and the aids depicted are always the sleekest, newest models in the best possible condition that perfectly fit the users needs like I get that abled people who don't know how to accurately draw a cane may not be ready for the reality that maybe half of all cripples are using second hand mobility aids that don't fit them, don't quite meet their needs ("guy who uses a walker but needs a wheelchair," etc) and probably desperately need parts replaced, but I don't know, something about seeing art of attractive people in Instagram worthy outfits using medical equipment that costs thousands of dollars that looks like they just fucking got it brand new makes me feel...something

4th full blown panic attack of the day, I am not a well man. Let’s hope today is better. :]

i don't know why i even try to make people care about me. i know if they dont care, i should let them go. but if i let everyone who didnt care about me go, id have no one left.

i do things so that maybe someone will ask if im okay, yet they never do.

one day i will stop wanting to kill myself after every little mistake but today is not that day

genuinely infuriated how people can just call you at random with no warning. it takes mental energy to anticipate phone calls, and quite frankly, i am not going to dedicate that to my phone every day. moreover, some days, i am too tired to be speaking out loud to anyone, but if i have warning, i can prepare myself mentally.

just. why is it not considered proper etiquette to shoot someone a text or an email if you plan to call them? stop doing it out of the blue pity's sake. screaming.

SHOUTOUT TO MY FELLOW GIRLIES (and non girlies) WHO HAVE IRREPARABLE PSYCHOLOGICALLY EXCRUCIATING MOMMY ISSUES THIS MOTHERS DAY!!! WE IN THIS SHIT TOGETHER FOR REAL!!!

The next person who uses "neurodivergent" as a stand-in for "mentally disabled" or "mentally disordered" owes all non-disordered neurodivergents who don't consider their neurodivergency a disability twenty dollars

i want to rot away and disappear. i don’t know how much longer I can hang on

stayed under 800 cals today :-)

I’m have miku phase I think. gorey stuff below cut i guess?.? I,m not sure how to do trigger warning and stuff

Felt like shit, drew this, and then started cleaning my room, it was a fucking dusty ass mess for a good while lmao.

and I’ve been messing around with my artstyle a bit if youve seen my other drawings lol

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