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mercurygguk · 1 year

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if it’s not you · kth (m)

↳ summary; Kim Taehyung grew up watching his parents fall more in love for each day that passed and he always longed for that great, passionate love himself. But if it’s not you? Then he doesn’t want it.

pairing; taehyung x f. reader

word count; 8,582

rating; 18+

content; exes to lovers!au, smut/angst, a bit of fluff

warnings; making out, dirty talk, nipple play, oral sex (f. receiving), hand job, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, cream pie, possessive/jealous and slightly insecure taetae <3

chapters. part one | part two

↳ listen to the playlist here.

author’s note; it’s here!!!! the taehyung fic i’ve been wanting to write for SO long ughhhdjsk i really hope you like it and that you enjoy it despite all the hurt and angst heh – please let me know what you think! comment, reblog, send me an ask – whatever you feel most comfortable with!! everything is greatly appreciated <3 thank you sm for reading muah

ps. a big thank you to @kookingtae once again for beta-ing for me and for helping me brainstorm for the smut scene <33 ur the best ily thank you for your support and help!

Kim Taehyung is not sad.

Sadness is not what he feels when he goes out with his friends and spots two people all over each other, happy and in love. Sadness is not what he feels when he sits at home, watching a movie by himself. Sadness is not what he feels when his friends tell him they’re engaged and are having an engagement party to celebrate.

No, Kim Taehyung is way past sadness.

If anything, what he feels is most likely something more akin to a feeling called ‘I don’t care anymore’... a certain, unexplainable emptiness. He doesn’t care that everyone around him is falling in love and getting engaged, he doesn’t care if two strangers are all over each other when he’s at a bar. He doesn’t care that all of his one-night-stands give him a nasty look when he tells them to leave in the middle of the night after having emotionless – I don’t care who you are or what your name is – sex with them.

Taehyung just doesn't care anymore. Or that’s what he thought, at least.

He thought that he wouldn’t give two shits when he saw you walk through the door, arriving at the engagement party his friends are currently throwing. He also thought that he wouldn’t care that some unknown guy was trailing right behind you, his hand tightly wrapped around yours.

But Taehyung should’ve known better.

He should’ve known his mind would play tricks on him and pull up flashbacks to the day he lost all belief in love.

Two years ago…

“Kiss me,” he pleaded, voice barely above a whisper as he spoke. He begged you, the unsteady tone of his voice giving away that he was on the brink of breaking down if you didn’t connect your lips with his within the next few seconds. He was desperate, breathing heavily as he tried his best to keep the tears from welling in his eyes.

The last few weeks had been absolute hell. The apartment has been empty beyond measure, most of your stuff gone by now. You haven’t been in the apartment since the day you left and the only reason you were back tonight was because you forgot a few things. Taehyung knew you’d come, you had texted him to let him know just so that you wouldn’t be barging in on him at a random hour. One thing he didn’t realize though when you texted him was how much he genuinely hated all of this until you stood in front of him with a small, sad-looking smile on your face.

How you ended up in the bedroom, cuddling and now almost kissing, was unbeknownst to him and you as well. Taehyung had been sitting on the edge of the bed, watching as you packed your remaining things in utter silence. When you were finished and wanted to give him one last goodbye hug, he had made the first move to urge you onto the bed with him. It’s not that he had bad intentions with it. He just needed to hold you one last time before you’d move on for good. Cuddles then turned into him pulling you on top of him to straddle his waist, begging and pleading for you to kiss him.

“Taehyung…” You softly let his name fall from your lips in a sigh as you looked down at him from your straddling position on top of him, “we shouldn’t-”

“Please, ____,” he tried again with pain laced in his words, sitting up with you still perched on his lap, “please, just kiss me.”

[end of flashback]

Two years since he last saw you and talked to you. Two years of losing every ounce of belief he had in ‘the great love’ of life. Why continue to look for love when he already had the love of his life and lost her?

In Taehyung’s head, there was no reason to look for love when the person he loved more than life itself left him with only half a heart to live by two years ago. Even if he wanted to find another great love, it simply wouldn’t be possible. He lives with only half of his heart and you can’t love someone with just half a heart.

Not when someone else has the other half.

“Hey, isn’t that ____?”

Taehyung is pulled from his thoughts by Jimin, his best friend since high school and the only person who would be able to recognize his ex-girlfriend from miles away – even after two years have gone by.

“Yep,” Taehyung curtly replies and brings his drink to his lips, taking a long sip. The heavy, dark taste of whiskey burns his throat on the way down but he welcomes it, suddenly in desperate need of feeling something that isn’t the tug on the strings of his half heart.

Jimin’s face scrunches up in confusion, “who’s the guy?”

I don’t know, Jimin. Does it look like I’ve stayed in touch with her since she walked out on me? Do you think she’d be across the room, in another man’s embrace, if I had stayed in touch with her?

Instead of saying that, Taehyung shrugs ‘carelessly’ and takes another sip of his drink, eyes following you as you and your date move towards the newly-engaged couple.

He can’t take his eyes off you.

You look so different and yet the exact same.

Every move of your body and expression on your face twist in the most beautiful, hypnotizing way as always. Your hair is shorter, he notices, but it suits you. You’re glowing from across the room and your smile lights up the entire apartment when you throw your head back in laughter.

It travels across the room and reaches Taehyung’s ears, cutting straight through the music flowing from the stereo. The pretty sound causes his chest to fill with a familiar warmth. Except this time it isn’t him who’s on the receiving end of your smile and gentle touch; your date is. As much as it bothers him, Taehyung can’t stop watching you as you talk with the hosts, wishing them congratulations on their engagement, and handing them the gift you brought along. And then you introduce the man next to you, a bright smile on your face as you watch them shake hands.

Something vile rises within Taehyung at the sight. He knows he has no right to feel like this but something about the way you’re introducing this random guy to you and Taehyung’s shared friends doesn’t sit right with him. It used to be you and him, attending every get-together together. You always arrived hand in hand, all smiles and good vibes because nothing could stop the two of you from touching each other, from being attached at all times – from being in love.

“Jia didn’t mention anything about a new boyfriend,” Jimin mutters from next to Taehyung. The annoyed glare he shoots at his best friend causes Jimin to shrug innocently, “I mean – I think, of all people, she would know if ____ was seeing someone.”

Jia is a shared friend between you and Jimin. While Jia is one of your best friends, Jia and Jimin are more than friends but not quite enough to be considered a couple. They will get there eventually – Jimin just needs to get his head out of his own ass and ask the poor girl on a date instead of only showing up at her doorstep for some fun in bed. Jia is waiting patiently for him to make the next move but Jimin isn’t that smart when it comes to serious relationships.

“Don’t you have something else to do rather than talking my ear off about my ex and her date?”

The bitterness on Taehyung’s tongue feels odd but he can’t help it. He hasn’t seen you once in two years after you left that night and now you’re here, looking beautiful as ever with another man by your side.

Jealousy has never been something Taehyung cared much for. He never had a reason to but as you let your date wrap an arm around your waist to pull you closer, the jealousy washes away every rational thought he’s had since he saw you walk through the door.

Jimin mumbles something under his breath before he disappears from Taehyung’s side, leaving him to stand there while rolling the glass of whiskey in his hand, dark and glaring eyes shooting daggers at the man you brought along tonight.

However, it seems his glare from across the room also grazes you as you turn your head to look around. Taehyung’s breath hitches in his throat when your eyes meet his and he can tell you let out a gasp once you realize just who exactly you’re locking eyes with. Your date asks you if something’s wrong and you shake your head in response, telling him it’s nothing.

Taehyung’s body heats up with a familiar tingling feeling that feels all too normal and yet it’s a strange sensation. He hasn’t felt what he just felt in two years, the different women he’s slept with or been out with have never once caused warmth and excitement to spread through his entire body as the ones he just felt. Not a single woman has managed to trigger Taehyung’s interest in more than just a one-night-stand.

But, of course, it’s you.

Who else would light a fire in his soul but the same woman who blew it out a few years ago?

The irony almost makes Taehyung huff out an unimpressed chuckle. He fights it and pushes it back but it's no use as you decide to raise your hand and give him a small wave, a hesitant smile on your lips as you do. Taehyung lets the chuckle leave him, shaking his head in disbelief, watching your smile falter into a soft frown.

You left him.

You walked out of the door two years ago and dropped off earth’s surface until tonight. Taehyung only knew you were alive and well thanks to social media and your circle of shared friends, not that it was much help. His so-called friends weren't very cooperative every time he’d ask about you. Especially when he would visit Jimin and Jia would be there – that woman kept all the news about you behind locked lips whenever Taehyung was around.

So, when it really comes down to it, Taehyung has no idea what you've been doing for two years. All he knows is that you went overseas to live and work there, making the distance between you and him bigger than he’d expected when he watched you walk out of the home you once shared. Taehyung doesn’t understand why you bolted out of the country as soon as you could – what you went looking for, he doesn’t know. Probably no one knows – except for your parents maybe.

All Taehyung is hoping for is that he wasn’t the reason.

Thoughts like ‘how long have you been seeing this guy’ and ‘did you even think about me once while you were overseas, living a brand new life’ fill Taehyung’s head as he downs the rest of his drink. He steals one last glance at you, catching your eyes for a split-second before heading towards the kitchen of this penthouse apartment he currently finds himself in. He can feel your eyes on him as he slips his way through other guests but he keeps his own eyes focused on the whiskey bottle he spots on the kitchen island.

Once he reaches it, he uncaps it and pours himself another glass. He takes a swig of the brown liquor, sighing deeply as he feels the strong and burning sensation in his throat.

“Slow down there, tiger.”

Taehyung freezes in his spot, his glass of whiskey halfway to his lips to take another slurp when a familiar voice fills the kitchen. His chest tightens for a split-second before he turns around to face the person he’s been thinking about non-stop since she left.

You’re flashing a smile at him when he turns around, one that doesn’t really reach your eyes as your real smile would. He notices because he always notices. It’s one of the many things you can’t hide from him. No matter how much you try to plaster on a fake smile, he’ll always know when it’s real or not.

When he doesn’t reply to your teasing comment, you pull your lips into a thin line as you cautiously step closer.

He can’t stop staring at you.

When you left your shared home two years ago on the worst night of Taehyung’s life, he had no idea when he would see you again. Back then he had hoped you’d regret your choice of moving out and come back to him, tell him that you made a mistake, that not being with him was the only thing you couldn’t get yourself to do.

But it never happened – and two years passed.

“How have you been?” You ask, voice small and careful as if you’re afraid he’ll scream at you and throw all his pent up anger at you as the first thing.

Taehyung finally manages to take his eyes off you, shifting them to look at the glass of whiskey in his hand. He swirls the liquid around a few times before looking up again, a faint and slightly sad smile on his face.

“Okay,” he responds. “Given the circumstances, that is.”

He can tell that you know exactly what he means, the frown on your face giving it away. It makes a short chuckle leave his lips because it’s kind of comical how you haven’t seen each other in two years and the first time you meet again is at an engagement party – the type of party you were both so sure you’d throw sooner or later had it not been for the fact that the universe wanted it differently.

“You brought a date,” Taehyung breaks the silence hanging over you.

Your lips part in surprise. You did not expect your ex-boyfriend to ask about your date, but then again, you should’ve seen it coming.

“Uh, yeah, he’s–” you begin, not sure what or where to start. Taehyung watches you intently, curious to hear your response. You feel a strong urge to explain yourself to him, why you don’t know. “It’s nothing serious– it’s very new, so…”

“I see,” Taehyung hums and takes another sip of his whiskey, the alcohol still burning and strong on his tongue.

“Hey, about–,” you begin but the shake of Taehyung’s head causes you to stay quiet.

“We don’t have to do that,” he simply says. You frown deeply as he glances over your shoulder at your date. “I’m over it and it seems you are too.”

“But–”

“It’s good to see you again, ____.”

With that Taehyung grabs the half empty bottle of whiskey off the table and leaves the kitchen, a breath of relief escaping him. It’s gonna take a lot of alcohol to get through tonight with you being in the same room, so close yet so far – not his to touch or hold, the only thing that is his are the memories of doing exactly that in the past.

And nothing has ever left a more bitter taste in his mouth before.

As the party carries on, Taehyung has been drinking more whiskey. He’s not drunk per say but he’s definitely tipsy and it shows as he stands in a corner alongside Jimin and Namjoon. He’s not paying attention to their conversation, too busy watching you and your date mingling.

Taehyung is not much for admitting it but he’s been keeping an eye on your date all night, watching how he acts around you. He’s not afraid to touch you, that’s for sure, the constant placement of his hand on your lower back is a giveaway. However, he hasn’t seen the two of you kiss or anything of the sort ever since you arrived. It’s odd because, of all people, Taehyung knows that you’re not one to shy away from PDA. You were never big on it but you never despised it either.

“Tae, stop staring,” Jimin’s voice penetrates his focused thoughts. Taehyung tears his eyes from you to look at his best friend. Jimin gives him a look, one he can’t help but laugh at. Taehyung pushes himself up from his leaning position against the wall, standing to his full height. Jimin grabs his arm. “I’m serious, whatever you’re thinking, don’t.”

“Relax,” Taehyung smirks. “I’m just gonna introduce myself, that’s it.”

Namjoon shakes his head, taking a sip of his drink, “sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Exactly,” Jimin pointedly agrees with him. “Don’t ruin it.”

Taehyung shrugs off Jimin’s hand, shooting his friends a glare, “I’m not gonna ruin anything.”

Before his friends can try and talk him out of it again, he wanders off towards you and your date – a dark-haired guy who seems friendly, boring even, and nothing like the type of guy Taehyung had imagined you’d go for.

You don’t notice Taehyung’s presence until he’s standing right next to you, offering a hand to your date. Your eyes widen in surprise, eyes shifting between your ex-boyfriend, his offered hand and your date for the night. You can’t help the small sliver of panic within your chest as you watch them interact.

“Hey man, I don’t think we’ve met before,” he greets him, “I’m Taehyung.”

“Jinyoung,” your date replies, giving Taehyung’s hand a weak shake without much thought. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Taehyung smirks, eyeing Jinyoung up and down for a moment, wondering where on earth you managed to run into this guy and why you thought of bringing him to your friends’ engagement party. The majority of the people here know you and once this guy isn’t part of your life anymore, you’ll spend your energy explaining why at the next event.

“Taehyung is, um…” You begin, turning to Jinyoung to provide some information as to why he would suddenly come over and introduce himself like this. “He’s my, uh–”

“Ex-boyfriend,” Taehyung finishes for you. He watches in satisfaction as Jinyoung’s eyes widen in surprise, the faint hints of intimidation evident in them. “We broke up two years ago.”

“Oh, well, I had no idea there was an… ex-boyfriend,” Jinyoung trails off, glancing at you in confusion.

Your attention, however, is aimed at Taehyung, “Tae, can we talk–”

“Did you know ____ fled the country after breaking up with me?” Taehyung lets out a sarcastic laugh, watching how Jinyoung almost squirms in discomfort. Bet he didn’t sign up for a meeting with the ex-boyfriend when he said yes to join you tonight. “Is that where she met you or?”

Your jaw tightens as you place a hand on Taehyung’s arm, catching his attention. He glances at your hand and then you, eyes meeting yours. He notices the desperation in them, the grip you have on his arm.

“Can I talk to you under four eyes? Now, please.”

He smiles at you, a tipsy smile but endearing nonetheless.

“Absolutely,” he tells you before glancing back at Jinyoung. “If you’ll excuse us for a moment.”

Jinyoung looks confused and awkward as Taehyung flashes him a fake smile before allowing himself to be dragged away by you. It isn’t until you’re in a secluded corner of your friends’ penthouse, you let go of his arm. Taehyung leans against the wall, a small smirk on his face as you stare at him for a moment before your face morphs into disbelief.

“What the hell was that all about?”

He shrugs, “I was just introducing myself.”

You let out a chuckle, crossing your arms over your chest, “oh, is that what it was? How silly of me to think you were trying to measure your dick with his!”

He huffs out a scoff, rolling his eyes, “oh, sweetheart, I don’t have to and you know it.”

Your mouth falls open at his cocky behavior. Whoever this man in front of you is, you don’t know him. He is not the man you broke up with two years ago, he’s not even a shadow of the man you were hopelessly in love with once.

Taehyung watches your expression fall as if realization hits you square in the face. His ego covers it up perfectly but it hurts seeing the realization on your face, his heart sinking to his stomach as he realizes himself what you just realized –neither of you are the same people you were two years ago. And for some reason that realization hurts more than he thought it would because change is supposed to be good, right?

“Maybe breaking up with you wasn’t a mistake after all,” you tell him, eyes filled with disappointment and hurt. Taehyung frowns as the words leave your lips. “You’re an asshole.”

“____, I–”

You shake your head before turning on your heel, heading back to Jinyoung who’s been watching the two of you with worried eyes. Taehyung catches Jinyoung’s gaze over your shoulder, the judgemental look he shoots at him bruising his ego. However, the sight of your hand slipping into Jinyoung’s bruises his heart as he watches you and your date bid the engaged couple goodbye before leaving the penthouse.

Hand in hand.

Loud knocking wakes Taehyung up the following morning. He squints an eye open, the bright light coming from the morning sun hitting him straight in the face. He lets out a low groan, dropping his head back into the softness of his pillows. He forgot to pull the curtains when he came home last night. It happens too often after a night out – a bad habit, really.

The knocking disappears for a moment before it returns, more persistent this time around. With a sigh, Taehyung gets himself out of bed, slipping on a t-shirt and sweatpants before sauntering towards his front door.

Who in the world could be rapping their knuckles on his door this early on a sunday morning?

He glances towards the kitchen, eyes squinting to read the red numbers on the oven. His eyebrows lift in surprise. It’s not morning anymore, it’s past noon and someone is very persistent on the other side of the door. Once he reaches the door, he sneaks a peek through the peephole, breath hitching in his throat when he realizes who’s on the other side. His forehead connects with the surface of the door as a low ‘fuck’ leaves his lips.

Inhaling sharply, he grabs the door handle and pulls the door open.

“What are you doing here?” He asks.

Taehyung sees no point in greeting you first, the question flying from his mouth before he can process it properly. He’s surprised to see you on his doorstep after what happened at the engagement party last night. When he came home and plopped into his bed, he had been thinking about whether or not he should seek you out to talk things through. He never got the chance to think further about it before sleep overtook and pulled him under.

“We need to talk,” you tell him, pushing past him, shoulder bumping his.

Taehyung closes the door after you before following you further into his home. You stand by his bookshelf, several feet away from him. He watches you as you look around, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants to keep them from feeling restless.

“How do you know where I live?” He decides to ask after a moment of intense silence.

You turn to face him from your new spot by the big window, the view from it being of a park with endless rows of trees and bushes, the colors of them ranging from green to brown to orange to yellow.

“Jimin told me,” you tell him, “but that’s not important – what the hell was your problem last night?”

Taehyung shrugs, “nothing… I was just introducing myself.”

A sarcastic laugh escapes your pretty lips, a look of amusement on your face.

“Bullshit, Tae,” you protest. “We haven’t seen each other in two years and you pull a stunt like that? It’s not like you.”

He can’t help but scoff.

Not like him?

It’s not like him to spend two years watching women come and go in his home. It’s not like him to let the woman he loves leave him and not do shit about it for two years. It’s not like him to not care about love at all. It’s not like him to lose all faith and belief in the great love of his life but he did and it’s your fault. You made him what he is today. You up and left, leaving him because ‘things weren’t the way they used to be’. He accepted what you wanted because you were so certain that was what you wanted at the time. He shouldn’t have but he did because he loved you and he’d rather love you from a distance than keep you in a place that didn’t make you happy.

Blaming you isn’t right but it’s always easier to blame someone else than yourself.

“I pulled a stunt?” The anger that’s starting to boil within him laces within his voice as he moves closer. Your eyes are locked with his as he slowly moves across the room, nearing you. “You’re the one who brought a fucking date, _____! You knew I would be there and yet you thought ‘hey, let me bring a date and introduce him to everyone there while my ex is in the same fucking room’!”

You let out a frustrated groan.

“It’s been two years, Taehyung! For all I know, you could’ve brought someone too!”

The frustration is seeping through his veins as he steps closer, only a few feet from you at this point. You’re close and he can touch you if he just reaches his hands out to you but you’ve never felt farther away. Had he known two years ago that it would come to this, he wouldn’t have let you walk out of the door that night. He would’ve fought for you, told you that you would figure things out together. That he would do his utmost best to make you happy – no matter the sacrifices he would have to make.

“Do you know how fucking miserable I’ve been for the past two years? Do you know how many times I’ve asked about you only to get no answers from anyone?”

The guilt is evident on your face as he takes the risk and steps even closer. He can feel the warmth radiating off your body now, the close proximity doing nothing to calm his thundering heart.

“Have you ever, just for a second, thought about how fucking hard it’s been after you left and fled the fucking country?”

You let out a shaky breath, “I didn’t–”

Taehyung can’t fight the dry laugh leaving him, “I begged you to stay, ____. I was begging you but you left anyway and for what?”

He watches as you shrug helplessly, mouth opening and closing while you try to decipher what to say, how to explain. He would appreciate an explanation – ‘things aren’t the way they used to be’ isn’t enough anymore.

“I… I had some stuff I needed to figure out,” you mutter.

“We could’ve figured it out together!” He argues, hands thrown out in pure frustration.

The shake of your head has Taehyung frowning deeply. You look away, unable to watch the way his face falls as the words leave your lips, “I couldn’t love you the way you deserved. I had to leave. It was what was best for us back then–”

“No,” he mutters, voice soft and filled with sorrow, “you don’t get to decide what’s best for me.”

You feel him step back, taking his warmth with him. He sits down on the couch, running a hand through his hair as an exasperated sigh leaves his chest. You cross your arms over your chest; the act doing nothing to comfort yourself but doing enough to keep yourself warm after he removed himself from right in front of you.

Unsure, what to do, you sit down on the window pane, watching the man you used to be inseparable from. He looks tired and not because you forced him out of bed by knocking on his door. He looks like the past two years have been nothing but hell for him – and you believe it. Leaving him was one of the hardest things you’ve ever done but it was necessary in order to find yourself.

“I didn’t tell you everything,” you quietly tell him, eyes dropping to look at the wooden floor instead of him.

You feel his eyes on you, heavy and filled with longing, hurt and love.

“I knew you’d never let me go if I told you everything,” you continue when he stays silent. “I lost myself, Tae… And I knew as long as I wasn’t at peace with myself, I wouldn’t be able to love you the way you deserved.”

You take a chance and look up, your eyes meeting his in an instant. You feel your heart skip a beat, a pain so strong it’s almost unbearable shooting through your body. Taehyung’s eyes are glossy as he watches you make your way to where he sits on the couch. You kneel in front of him, your hands finding his in a weak attempt to comfort him but you know nothing could possibly remove the two years of pain and anger he’s been through.

He stays quiet, eyes skimming your face as you sit in front of him.

“Leaving you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” you softly tell him and feel a tightness in your throat. You bite back the tears but your voice betrays you as you speak up again. “And while… While trying to figure my shit out, I realized that you and I–”

Taehyung’s hands engulf yours, fingers slipping through yours to intertwine them. Pain is etched onto his face as you sniffle, one of his hands reaching up to wipe away the one teardrop that managed to escape just now.

“I realized that you and I were the only thing in my life that actually made sense but it was too late.”

“Baby…” Taehyung begins, the nickname leaving him before he can think about it and the appropriateness of it.

You shake your head, “I left you, Tae. I left and, like you said, I fled the country like a coward when all I had to do was talk to the people around me and find another way.”

The tears won’t stop coming at this point and it’s then Taehyung realizes that it was never about him. It has always been about you and how you felt; not your feelings for him but for yourself. If only you had talked to him, reached out to him and asked for help – he would’ve stepped in and done whatever it would take to make you happy again.

“I’m really sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you,” you cry, the sheer realization of just how much unnecessary pain you’ve caused him seems like the worst thing you ever could’ve done. You hurt the man you love and now it’s hurting you – well-deserved one might say. “God, you must hate me so much.”

“No, hey,” Taehyung calls softly, cupping your face and wiping your tears away. You look up at him, tear-filled eyes meeting his glossy ones. He smiles at you through the build-up tears in his dark brown eyes. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”

“But–”

He shakes his head, “sure, I’m pissed at you for leaving. But I could never hate you, _____.”

The way he says it with such tenderness and softness makes your bottom lip quiver, fresh tears coming to the surface but it’s not an issue – Taehyung wipes them away with the pads of his thumbs, smiling softly at you. Why he’s comforting you rather than kicking you out of his home is a mystery to you, one you probably won’t ever solve. But you’ll take it, the feeling of his hands touching you again similar to the feeling of finally drinking water again after spending days in the desert. Or when you finally get to sleep after a really, really long and stressful day.

Comforting. Healing. Loving.

“I’m sorry,” you softly say, voice so quiet and soft as if the atmosphere would break into a million pieces if you spoke any louder. Your heart is beating hard, thundering at 110 miles per hour. Taehyung is leaning closer, a magnetic pull between him and you causing him to do so. It’s impossible to stay away, especially after you sat down in front of him.

Taehyung huffs out a soft chuckle, the air brushing your lips. He whispers, “stop apologizing.”

“Sorry,” you whisper, causing Taehyung to let another chuckle escape before softly, carefully pressing his lips to yours.

The world stops spinning and your heart stops beating for a second, the feeling of Taehyung’s lips on yours so familiar you might start crying again. It’s like returning home after years of chaotic traveling, the familiarity of it so comforting and perfect. You sigh deeply, melting against him, hands gripping his forearms as if to support yourself. Then a soft moan escapes you and Taehyung tilts his head to deepen the kiss, tongue brushing your bottom lip before slipping inside and touching yours, warm and wet and so addicting.

In need of more, you get up and push him back on the couch. He welcomes you onto his lap, pulling you closer, hands gripping your waist tightly, fingertips digging into your sides. The kisses you share are soft, passionate, and filled with words and affection you’ve kept inside for two years. Things you never got to say and affection you never got to show – all of it being poured into the kisses, deep and scorching hot.

Your arms lock around his neck, pulling him so close your noses are squishes together. He moans against your lips when your hips sink down on him, grinding against him. He feels himself grow harder, blood rushing to his cock in seconds as you continue your movements.

“Tae…” You whimper softly when his hands slide underneath your top, warm palms sliding over the expanse of your back, nails digging into your skin. “Need you– please…”

In reality, you’re not his to touch and kiss. You haven’t been for two years. When this weekend is over, you’ll both go back to your everyday lives, return to reality – realities where neither of you are in each other’s.

“What about Jinyoung?” Taehyung can’t help but ask, pulling away just enough to look you in the eyes.

“He went back home this morning,” you tell him, your words causing a sliver of hope to appear in Taehyung’s chest. You smile softly, fingers playing with the curly strands of black hair at the back of his neck. You shrug with a sigh, “he asked about us, I told him the truth. He left.”

“What truth?”

The question is careful but Taehyung needs to know.

“That I’m still in love with you,” you quietly admit.

If you can’t feel the harsh beating of Taehyung’s heart, you surely must be able to hear it. It’s pounding against his rib cage, making it hard for him to breathe as he stares at you. A million thoughts are running through his mind but the only thing he can focus on is the overwhelming urge to kiss you like the world is ending, worship you and make up for lost time.

“I don’t blame you if you can’t forgive me for what I did,” you softly say. “But I hope you’ll give me a chance to-“

Taehyung cuts you off by crashing his mouth to yours; desperate, needy, eager and rushed. A whimpering moan escapes you and travels into his mouth, goosebumps rising upon his skin at the pretty sound.

“I forgive you,” he says between kisses as he pushes your jacket off your shoulders. You help him get rid of it, lips never leaving his as you continue to kiss. You have two years to catch up on – two years equals a lot of kisses and a lot of making love. You inhale deeply when he pulls away, hand gripping your jaw to make you look at him. His eyes stare into yours, dark and filled with so many emotions you can barely keep track. “Don’t make me regret it.”

You shake your head, “I won’t. I promise.”

“Good,” he whispers before pulling you back in for more, unable to stop for long.

The next clothing items to go are your top and his t-shirt as you tug it up and over his head, throwing it to the floor along with your jacket. Taehyung lets out a breathless moan against your mouth when you slide your hands up his abdomen, fingertips brushing over his chest and nipples. He groans as your nails dig into his skin, hands tightly gripping onto your thighs in a wordless response.

“Lay down,” he tells you, voice raspy from making out.

With one last soft kiss to his lips, you do as told. You lay down on the couch, watching him as he gets up on his feet, getting rid of his sweatpants. His eyes roam your body, grazing your skin and curves, taking it all in while feeling a wave of memories washing over him. It brings a feeling he can’t quite pinpoint to his chest, heart tightening as you offer him a soft smile.

Home.

That’s what he feels.

He finally feels at home again after two years of feeling like he didn’t belong in this new apartment of his; an apartment he found a few months after you left. He couldn’t stand being in the one you used to share because it didn’t feel like a home anymore. It’s when you sit up on the couch, your hand reaching for his to bring him back to you, that he realizes that no place will ever feel like home unless you’re there.

You’re his home – he belongs with you.

And you belong with him.

“Come back to me,” you whisper softly when he crawls onto the couch, hovering over you. His eyes shift between yours, three words he hasn’t said out loud to anyone but you at the tip of his tongue. “Tae…–”

“I love you.”

Your words get trapped in your throat, heart beating wildly in your chest as the three magical words bring a new kind of warmth to your entire body.

“I love you too.”

The rest is a blur – the way he kisses you deeply and passionately like it’s the last time, the sound of your pretty moans reaching his ears like a melody he’ll never get tired of, the feeling of his hands on your body, caressing you, taking you in and remembering everything about you; every dip and curve of your body. Every uneven texture of your skin, every dimple and small spot that makes you you.

“You’re mine,” he rasps against your chest as he trails it with kisses, your bra no longer covering you, giving him free access to all of you. His lips brush your nipple, another delicate moan escaping your lips at the feeling. “You’ve always been mine, haven’t you?”

“Yes– Oh my god,” You gasp, surprise shooting through you as he wraps his lips around a nipple, sucking. Your back arches into him as one of his hands cups the other breast, squeezing and caressing it in the most caring way possible.

That’s the thing about Taehyung – he can be rough both verbally and physically but he knows how you like it and he never strays far away from it. He’ll caress your body and worship it like you’re a goddess while arousing you with his words, dirty words falling from his lips without a struggle. It’s the perfect mix of everything; the best of both worlds basically.

You whimper softly when he tugs at your nipple with his teeth before letting go, leaving it wet and swollen as he moves further down your naked body. Your legs spread automatically when he reaches your core, his mouth hovering above your heat as he glances up at you. A small smirk spreads across his face as he watches you run your hands over your stomach and all the way up to cup your own breasts. You bite your lip, eyes closed as you await his touch.

“Tell me, baby,” he hums, leaving a soft kiss on your hip bone. “Did you miss this?”

You hum in response, fingers pinching your nipples as you feel his breath on your core.

“Words,” he reminds you, “I need your words.”

Your eyes peep open to glance down at him, the sight of him between your legs, messy and curly hair and swollen, plump lips twisted into a teasing smirk enough to cause you to let out a soft moan.

“Yes,” you tell him, breathlessly. “I missed you, missed your touch– please, Tae…”

The sound of you begging for him to touch you causes a feeling of pride to fill his entire body, the smirk on his face turning into a grin. He hums in satisfaction, leaning down to press a soft, careful kiss to your folds. You whimper softly, the hints of whine following.

“I’ll be honest,” the air from his words brushes your soaked core, a shiver running through your body. His hands tighten around your thighs as he brings them over his shoulders to pull you closer to his face. “I missed having you like this, too.”

Before you can even think of a response to his confession, his mouth is on you. You gasp in surprise, hands reaching for him to grab his hair, the couch, his hand – anything. Taehyung offers one of his hands, locking it with yours. Your fingers slip between his, your grip tight as he eats you out, his tongue licking your folds. You’re whimpering above him, the feeling of his tongue flicking your clit over and over again before he sucks it causing your moans to become higher and more whiny as he works you closer to the edge.

“Fuck,” you cry, thighs trembling as you feel your orgasm coming. Taehyung keeps your legs spread open with his free hand, his grip on you so strong you’re unable to escape the overwhelming feeling of an orgasm. “Tae, I’m close– fuckfuckfuck–”

An immense wave of pleasure washes over you, a guttural moan leaving your pretty lips as you tumble over the edge, abdomen tightening as you come. Taehyung moans against you as he continues to help you through it, licking up your juices, the slurping noises lewd and explicit enough to bring a heat to your face.

You’re trying to catch your breath, a smile on your face as Taehyung crawls back up. You sigh deeply as he leans down and presses a row of kisses onto your jaw and cheek, one of his hands sliding up your thigh.

“You feeling okay?” He asks, face inches from yours as his eyes meet yours.

You nod, smiling, “I feel great.”

He smiles softly as he leans down, connecting his mouth with yours. You’re able to taste yourself on his tongue as it brushes yours, the taste arousing and dirty but so hot, you might lose your mind.

“Wanna be inside you,” he groans as he grinds against you, the only thing keeping him from slipping inside being his boxers. His cock twitches in its confinements, eager to be let free, eager to be buried deeply within your warmth. “Wanna make love to you, baby– show you how much I’ve missed you…”

“Do it, Tae,” you urge him on, hands reaching for the waistband of his boxers, “show me.”

With his help, you manage to free his hard cock, his boxers ending up on the floor with the rest of your discarded clothes. Your hand wraps around his length, a soft groan escaping his lips as he drops his head to your shoulder. You pump him a few times before guiding the tip to your entrance, softly gasping when you feel it nested between your folds.

Taehyung takes over, replacing your hand with his own. Your arms snake around his neck, pulling him closer, lips catching his in a kiss. He takes this as his chance to slip inside, pushing against your entrance until he’s past your folds. You both moan against each other’s mouth as he sinks inside, the length and girth of him stretching you out. He moves slowly, sliding further inside inch after inch, carefully.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans once he bottoms out, every inch of him engulfed by your warm walls. His breathing is ragged as he stays still for a moment. “I’ll never get used to this.”

You smile at his comment, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“Well, you better,” you tell him. “Because this time it’s forever.”

His heart skips a beat in his chest before he huffs out a strained laugh, the feeling of your walls tightening around him making it difficult for him to get words out.

“Is that a challenge or a promise?”

You shrug and smirks playfully, leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth, “a challenging promise.”

He scoffs in amusement but doesn’t say anything in return. Instead he pulls out, leaving just the tip inside before thrusting back inside of you, hard and precise. The action leaves you gasping, back arching as he hits a sweet spot within you. He continues the action, pulling out and thrusting back in over and over again, fucking you hard but slow, his shaft brushing against your clit for every thrust.

“Fuck– feels good,” you whimper as he hooks a hand underneath your leg to change the angle of his thrusts. Your mouth falls open as he slides in even deeper, his tip hitting that sweet spot repeatedly.

“Yeah?” He watches you nod, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you suppress a moan. “Did he ever have you like this, huh? Did he ever make you feel like this?”

Taehyung knows expecting you to not have been with anyone since you broke up is a long stretch. The only thing that bothers him is if you’ve been with the one man he met and talked to last night. The thought of you and him together brings a bitter taste to his mouth and he just needs you to deny it.

The sudden possessive tone of his words has your heart beating faster. He doesn’t have to mention any name for you to know who he’s referring to. Like you said when you first talked to Taehyung at the party, you and Jinyoung’s relationship was nothing serious, very new and not intimate at all. You had barely kissed him properly – something held you back every time it would take a turn into something more.

The look in Taehyung’s eyes tells you he needs to know. He needs to know if you ever gave that part of yourself to Jinyoung.

“No,” you tell him, keeping eye contact as you answer him, hoping it’ll give him the peace of mind that he needs. Taehyung’s face softens as he lets his forehead drop to yours, his breath clashing against your face. You cup his face, thumbs brushing over his jawline where faint stubble is starting to appear. “He didn’t.”

The relief that runs through Taehyung’s body is evident in his kiss as he connects his mouth with yours, his free hand reaching up to grab one of yours. He intertwines your hands, bringing it above your head as he returns to the task at hand – getting you both to the edge.

The constant touch of his tip to a certain spot within you has you reaching another orgasm faster than you’re prepared for. It washes over you in huge waves, running through your body with such force your walls tighten around him. Taehyung moans deeply, his thrusts becoming uneven as he, too, reaches his high. Soft words of encouragement reach his ear as he drops his head to your shoulder. Your fingers slide into his thick, black hair while your other hand tightens its grip around his.

He lowly groans as he stills within you, spurts of hot and white cum painting your walls as he comes, “shit–”

Hours later you’re watching Taehyung’s fingers play with yours as he holds your hand up in the air, both of you watching it as a comfortable silence surrounds you. It’s nice – to be cuddled up with him again after so long. You didn’t realize just how much you had missed him until you saw him last night. But despite the blissful atmosphere, there’s still an underlying tension of something that you need to talk about. Whether it’s your guilt for leaving or his regret for not fighting more is unknown.

“I wish I could go back in time,” you suddenly break the silence.

“Why do you say that?”

Taehyung brings your hand down, intertwining them instead as he leaves them to lay on top of the blanket covering your naked bodies. You continue to stare at your intertwined hands, wondering how it’s possible to match so perfectly with someone only for you to leave for two years despite them being where you belong.

“I wish I could go back and do it differently.”

Taehyung stays quiet for a moment before speaking up, “you can’t change the past, baby.”

His voice is delicate and soft, comforting.

“I know,” you sigh. “I just hate that I caused you so much pain. It was unnecessary and uncalled for. I should’ve just talked to you about it instead.”

“I think a lot of things could’ve been avoided if we had just talked about it but like I said… You can’t change the past,” he carefully grabs your chin to make you look at him. “Besides, we found our way back, right? We got a second chance at this, at us. Let’s make the best of it, yeah?”

A smile spreads across your face as you lean up and kiss him, the kiss soft yet deep and filled with the things you still haven’t said; apologies, I love you’s, promises and everything in between.

Taehyung sighs deeply against your lips, cupping your face, “I missed kissing you.”

You can’t help but grin against his mouth, “keep doing it then.”

“Oh, I’m planning on it,” he tells you, a squeal escaping you as he rolls over, trapping you beneath him. He dips down and kisses you again, this time with more force and eagerness.

That great love in life that everyone keeps talking about is really not worth much if it’s not with the right person. Taehyung used to believe that there was only one true love for everyone. Two years ago, he lost all belief in that. There was no point in looking for that great, true love because he already had it and he lost it. And even if there is more than one true love for everyone, he wouldn’t want it if it’s not you.

It seems his beliefs have been restored.

2K notes · View notes

chimini3 · 4 months

Text

Acouasm

Acouasm (n.) a ringing noise in your head

Synopsis: When your relationship with Kim Taehyung goes public, a walk down the red carpet turns south when you are attacked.

Notes: I had so much to write in this fic but it ended up being sub par and I wanna release it on V’s birthday, so I’ll probably work on another one similar to this situation. I even had another draft but I thought it was too gorey and violent 🥲 Anyways HAPPY BIRTHDAY V! Enjoy reading and thank you so much for liking my past oneshot Saudade.

Word Count: 11.9k

Your relationship with BTS’ Kim Taehyung had a long story.

You came from the same highschool and had been acquainted before, though you hadn’t interacted apart from a few glances in the halls. He was a few years older than you and Korean Arts High School was populated with soon to be popular faces, so you didn’t expect him to remember much about you. However, that didn’t stop you from having a massive crush on him as he seemed to be way different from his fellow BigHit trainee, Jimin.

Taehyung was more reserved and usually kept to a close knit of friends during school hours, though everyone seemed to know him and he knew everyone. He didn’t have any official relationships with anyone during highschool, yet it wasn’t like he was coined a loser. He was oh so much your type, though your crush on him didn’t last long after he graduated.

You knew he debuted in a boy group with his friend Jimin, and that was as far as you knew about his whereabouts. You didn’t have time to worry about him when you were already facing some difficulties in your own life at that time.

You were picked up by a more trustable agency in your third year of highschool. They were adamant on debuting a girl group and you were determined to be a part of that, so you trained harder than you have ever trained, worked harder than you’ve ever worked, and you finally got your pay off when you debuted three years after.

It was 2017 and your debut went smoothly. You weren’t an instant flop, though you weren’t an instant pop either. However, with enough work in producing three albums for your first year, you managed to come through and win the Mama 2017 Best New Artist Award.

Winning an award and enjoying your time performing songs and watching the other idol groups perform in the 2017 Mnet Asian Music Awards also meant that you would make a few new friends during the event. Your group had to switch seats often during the first half, so you had a lot of interactions with other groups. Coincidentally, landing seats right in front of a particularly cheery idol group for the rest of the night.

“Bangtan Sonyeondan! Congratulations!” The woman speaks onto the microphone as the group of boys behind you cheered and gathered into a group hug before they all started making their way out to the stage, and a specific pair of bright eyes catches yours as he passes by. Kim Taehyung.

You didn’t hold back a smile when you realized it was his group who had won a daesang. You clapped your hands even louder to congratulate him as he bows to you and your group and fixes his blonde hair that was held back by a cloth headband.

Later that night when a message from him surprised you. It turns out a director had forwarded your KakaoTalk to him after he asked, and he had made the time to message you despite the fact that they should be celebrating after their win by now.

A few messages at night had turned into friendly calls when no one was around. It was damn obvious that he was interested in you and you couldn’t say that your highschool crush on him had gone away after all these years. He was charming and he understood the struggles of being an idol.

When you and your bandmates would fight then he would drop anything to message or call you to listen to you vent. When he was having a particularly rough time with his schedules, he made sure that you would know and yet still made time to check up on you. Both of you would even be preparing for a comeback at the same time, and yet both of you supported each other through all of it. He was a rock you could lean on and you were an ear for him to rant to.

Soon after, you started hanging out with each other in your free time. It wasn’t a date or anything of the sorts. He just so happens to want to buy something when you would go on errands. He would joke that a popular idol like you shouldn’t be grocery shopping alone despite the fact that he was in fact more popular than you, though you never held jealousy over that fact. You were actually proud of him and his group after you learned of their earlier hardships, and you were even prouder when he would vent to you about their contract problems early 2018.

You two would try new coffee spots together and even watch the new Marvel movies together. Taehyung was certain that Doctor Strange was his favorite Marvel superhero because of his amazing cape, and didn’t hide that fact when he went on an interview in LA that asked him about it. You two even commented on each other’s interviews from time to time since you were both learning English and you two found it helpful to learn from each other.

And don’t start about how you couldn’t take your eyes off of him during Mama 2018, not when you two were on a call the night before he got his hair colored and you sent him a picture of the brightest pink you could see on Google to dare him into changing his hair that same hue. It was a funny joke, yet he called you the night after with the same hue on his hair. You would watch the American movie Trolls together through the call that night and his nickname on KakaoTalk would be changed for the very first time to ‘Poppy Imposter’ alluding to the pink haired Troll in the movie.

After a year of steadily getting closer and calling each other friends, he finally confessed to you. You knew he liked you and he knew that you knew he liked you, yet it still seemed like your heart was palpitating out of your chest. He didn’t kiss you. He simply stated a fact and said that he wanted to court you, and God did you fall for him even harder.

When he asked you out on a first date, he also asked for your parents’ permission. He made sure to make it known that he was serious about you and you were sure that this man couldn’t do anything more to make you fall for him more.

He was such a romantic. He made sure everything was done how it should be. He made sure to pick you up for your date with a bouquet of flowers for you and your mother. He made sure to greet your parents by the front door. He assured your father that he would keep you safe and take you home by your curfew. Despite the fact that you were a full-grown adult and had your own apartment to go home to. He opened the door of his car for you and he pulled the chair of the fancy restaurant for you. He was a true gentleman, and it didn’t take more than five months for you to answer him.

Both your companies knew of your affairs. Taehyung wasn’t exactly quiet about you and you can’t say no to him when he would ask you to go on a late night walk with him whenever you were in the same city. Your companies would help payout any media networks that saw you two in your public dates, though that didn’t stop other idols from gossiping about your relationship. It was getting harder for them to contain you two especially when he went on longer promotion stints outside Korea, and your appearance near his apartment anytime BTS arrived in Korea didn’t go unnoticed. You were two lovers deeply in love, and it got worse during Mama 2019.

“You’re up in ten minutes ladies!” A stage director yells to the hallway over the chaos of staff around us. You and your group were about to enter the dark backstage to prepare for the penultimate performance of the evening, right before BTS.

You had seen your boyfriend and his group leave the artist area earlier, though it seemed like they weren’t going to the waiting rooms directly. You just hoped he could watch your performance on his phone. Despite already seeing each other’s performances during rehearsals.

“Wait! Don’t go up yet! The backstage is still not ready!” Another staff member yelled as an older member tried to make a move to get inside the backstage.

You sigh as the crowded and loud surroundings begin to make you nervous. You could feel sweat gathering on your forehead as a makeup artist tried to dry it down. How long were they going to announce the awards?

The makeup artist by your side leaves to fix up your other members and you take the opportunity to find something in the hallway to keep your attention on. The more you could distract yourself from the chaotic environment the better, so you looked down both sides of the hallway and watched props and staff pass by.

There in the busy and harshly lit hallway was your messy haired boyfriend with a bright red cardigan, that he specifically wore for you to notice him in the crowd of idols, push past the crowd to look for you. His bandmates seemed to get inside their own waiting room to prepare whilst Jimin and Jungkook waited by the door to watch him find his way to you. His overgrown and curled hair was doing nothing to help him find you, though once his eyes met yours at the end of the hallway, you could feel a smile creep onto your cheeks.

“Hey!” Taehyung greets as he walks a few more steps to stand in front of you. He brushes his hair aside and shows you his warm brown eyes, void of any colored contact lenses. His smile was bright as you notice sweat on his forehead.

“Good luck out there. You’re going to kill it, I swear.” Taehyung cheers as you smile at him and nod. He reaches to hold both your hands as you only realize that they were shaking when his gentle and steady ones encapsulates them.

“I should be the one calming you down. You have five songs to do!” You say with a chuckle as he chuckles with you and brings your hands to kiss its knuckles. His lips hover a little longer over your left ring finger, though you don’t notice.

“I perform five songs, but I’m not the popular worldstar that South Korea votes as number one on the most beautiful female artists.” Taehyung says with a shrug as a more boisterous laugh comes out of you.

“Okay, and you talk as if you aren’t internationally known for a handsome face.” You throw back as Taehyung rolls his eye and lets go of one of your hands to throw his hair out his face and show you one nasty pimple that had been growing on his forehead. He had actually been pulling back his dermatologist and facial appointment, so that he could do both of them with you. He wanted to keep your dates ‘unique’ he says.

“Don’t show that around here Tae! You’re going to get exposed!” You scolded as he laughed and shook his head to glance at the even more incriminating position you both were in. Closely standing next to each other with your hands held together and both your eyes shimmering with that profound love. If someone was to take a picture to expose you two then could they send it to him too because he wants to take this moment and make it his phone’s lock screen.

“Taehyung! You have to get ready!”

“Y/N! We can enter the backstage already!”

Both your bandmates say at the same time, though neither of your eyes fall to look away from each other.

“I love you. Be careful in performing and don’t be nervous. You’re amazing and always will be.” Taehyung says as his soft hands grab hold of your jaw to direct your lips to his. The kiss was soft and ended quickly, though the energy and ease it gave you was a pill that made you feel like you could do everything you put your mind to.

“I love you too. Be careful in your performance too. I know you’ll do great already. I might miss the first part of it though, since they won’t let us out immediately after.” You pouted as Taehyung chuckled and pecked a kiss on your forehead whilst rubbing your shoulder to assure you that he didn’t mind.

“I can’t even watch yours live. I have to watch it in the waiting room, but I’ll make sure to cheer for you just as much. We’ll watch the replay later on the TV anyways. My place and some good takeout?” Taehyung proposes as you were always welcome to a night at his place.

“We’ll see if you aren’t blackout drunk from the celebrations.” You chuckled as you were slowly inching away from your lover. You can hear your leader call out to you multiple times already and your manager was coming down the hall, so you really had to close this off.

Thankfully, Taehyung only laughed and let you go. He even waved to you as you disappeared backstage. He wasn’t going to get drunk tonight, perhaps tipsy, but he would much rather remember a night with you than drink. He wasn’t much of an alcohol fan anyways. A glass of wine with you seemed much more his taste.

And that was what ended up happening. The two of you sprawled out on his sofa at six in the morning. Takeout food littered the coffee table along with glasses of wine and a replay of your MMA performances.

After the event, the two of you parted ways to go to separate afterparties for a few hours before you both excused yourselves and got to Taehyung’s apartment. You two had laughed over some funny playbacks that you missed during the event, and you celebrated on your own two ways.

Taehyung had brought you out to his balcony when he saw the sun rising. He felt like a true winner as he watched you bury yourself in his hoodie under a thick blanket on his balcony’s couch. The silence engulfing you two as sleep ate away at your high. Events like the Mnet Asian Music Awards and Melon Music Awards always had your sleeping schedules messed up, though he didn’t mind. How could he mind when the award shows were the reason why he had seen your beauty in the first place.

He thinks that even if you weren’t there in MAMA 2017 then he would have still fallen in love with you some other way. He believes that in different dimensions he still finds a way to find you and love you. He always will, and there was no universe out there that Kim Taehyung existed without you.

“Hey… look at me.” Taehyung breaks the silence as you turn to face him. The sky was only beginning to get lighter, though you were both still enclosed in darkness and the warm lights he had around his balcony.

“I would have never thought that the sophomore I saw in the hallways during break would have me wrapped around their finger in five years time. I would have never thought that the all-rounder of the girl group who won best new artist in MAMA 2017 would have me asking multiple staff members for her number. But what I now know is that I love this sophomore and I love this all-rounder. I love you. I love you so much, and I know for a fact that there is no one else I could love this much. Kim Taehyung in other realities always falls in love with Y/L/N Y/N and I don’t need to be Doctor Strange to know that. So…” Taehyung pauses as he stands up and grabs a box from his sweatpant’s pocket.

You were staring at him in shock and awe as you processed his words whilst trying to process his movements. You two were too young to get married. He knew that and you two had jokingly discussed that, so what the hell was he doing?!

“I’m not proposing. Don’t worry.” Taehyung chuckles as he bends both his knees to crouch on the floor and presents you with a cream box. He opens it to reveal two gorgeous Bvlgari Couple Rings. Both were of the color silver, though one was littered with gems and the other was plain.

Taehyung places the box on the table in front of the couch as he takes the ring littered with gems and softly reaches for your hand just like earlier. He takes your left hand and kisses the knuckle right above your ring finger as he looks up at you with doe eyes. The sun’s rays appeared higher up the horizon now and its soft hues colored his face perfectly.

“I want you to take this promise ring because with this you hold the promise of my heart forever loving yours. All my beauty and imperfections. My tight schedule and long rants. My overly romantic and cringey actions and my eyes that look for you in every crowd.” Taehyung says and a stinging sensation catches up to your eye.

“It will also keep your finger warm until the time I propose to you and marry you, so… will you—“ Taehyung’s slight joking and following question was cut off by your voice cracking. He looked back up to you after eyeing your bare finger and you had tears in your eyes. His eyes immediately fogging as it copies yours.

“Yes. Yes, Tae.” You nod your head to help rid your eyes of tears as Taehyung slips the silver ring through your ring finger and a happy tear slides down his cheek.

“And you, Taehyung. I want you to keep this promise ring until the time I marry you because God knows I’ll save up for a really expensive ring.” You joke as Taehyung laughs boisterously. You reach out for his left hand and take the remaining silver ring.

“I love you so much, baby. I’ve always loved you.” You say as you slid the ring through his fingers and something in your heart locks with security. It was as if life was completed with a simple ring even if it was just a promise ring.

You two had tear stains on your cheeks from happiness and Taehyung immediately stood up, farring you along with him, and brought you in for a deep and passionate kiss on the lips. His lips soft against yours as it held so much love for one another.

When you two parted you simply rested each other’s foreheads against one another as the sun fully rose from slumber. The sun’s light encapsulates the two of you in its beauty and peace. If only someone could take a picture of this moment right now…

Everything changed after these leaks. Both your management team had reached the agreement to put some space between the two of you to avoid any more evidence that could support the strong claim of your relationship. This meant lesser visits to Taehyung’s compromised apartment and lesser events where your group and BTS could have any interactions.

You barely saw Taehyung now and it felt like you had been thrusted back in time to when you were both getting to know each other and only calling and texting each other at night. Back then it felt like the right amount of time to spend with him, but now it felt too little. You missed him and not being able to see each other for months even when you were both in the same city hurts. You felt so close, yet so far.

BTS had also started growing internationally and Taehyung was spending more time abroad. Especially with their Map of The Soul world tour. You had your world tour too, but you two always made the effort to see each other once a month at most. Now, you barely saw each other in three months.

You didn’t understand why they needed you two to be separated after the rumors. There were always rumors in the Kpop world and they had always managed to payout news outlets, so why this ridiculous rule now? It was making you more and more frustrated by each meeting that you asked them to stop.

It all came to a breaking point in late September 2020. It had been ten months and the BTS world tour had ended in September, yet Taehyung and you hadn’t even seen each other since the summer. You were sick and tired of it and your latest comeback failing to reach the charts had stressed you out immensely.

“You know the question I’m about to ask.” You said coldly as your management team didn’t spare you a glance. Your general meeting had ended and though the other members and staff were still in the same room you didn’t stop yourself from speaking your mind.

“And you know what the answer is to it always.” Your lead manager says as you close your eyes to stop any tears from falling down your cheeks.

You were exhausted. You were exhausted from not making it to the charts and feeling as though all your hard work had turned out to be a failure, and you knew that perhaps a small break to be with Taehyung could fix you up nicely. A cuddle and a kiss could boot you right up to start producing and writing songs again. His touch could ease all your sore muscles and his voice humming songs to you could free your ears from the annoying buzz in your ear. A buzz that you think came from the amount of time you spent sampling beats in the studio, and then listening to the same beats during dance practice. Your head was a mess and you could only hear music through a broken filter.

“It’s been ten months…” You say quietly, though the founder of the company abruptly stands up and slaps his hand on the table.

“We can’t risk it!” He sounded angry as his loud voice shushes everyone.

“All of you! We can’t risk it, and you better listen before I put all of you on a dating ban!” He threatens as collective anger boils between all of you girls. You knew that each and every one of you had committed relationships, so there was no way in any universe would you agree to a dating ban.

“What the hell?! You can’t do that so abruptly! What’s really going on? Why is everyone so tense?!” Your leader speaks up as all staff members quiet down and the room is filled with silence. The clock on the wall could be heard ticking and if you really listened in, you would hear your own patience decreasing with each click.

“We’re nearing bankruptcy, okay?! Your album flopped, we’re losing sponsors, and I can’t afford paying out the media for your issue, okay?!” Your boss snaps as he seems to be on the verge of breaking down.

All your group members were at the same amount of shock as you were, though every

“How much time do we have?” Your leader asks as your boss breathes in a heavy sigh.

“6 months at most. We’re reducing staff and we can push for one more studio album. If it doesn’t chart then we’re done. I’m sorry.”

You left the meeting that evening with tears in your eyes and your head feeling agitated. How could they keep this very important news from you and the girls?! This was your job and your future. You had the right to know what was internally happening. Now, all of you had to give your best for the new comeback or else you would be left jobless.

This fury of emotions in you was getting overwhelming and as soon as you arrived in your apartment you called Taehyung for some comfort. Perhaps you could even see each other tonight. A good takeout dinner and a few kisses and cuddles could fix you right up for the new comeback.

“Hey babe, I’m at a shoot right now.” Taehyung answers the phone as you nodded and mentally noted that he would probably be called to hang up on you at any moment.

“Hey…What time do you end?” You asked meekly before you cleared your throat and leaned on your kitchen counter with a glass of water on your other hand.

“Ten or eleven. Why?” Taehyung seemed to be moving on the other side as you sigh. Late dinner would be fine, as long as you were with him, right?

“I was wondering if we could have some dinner at either of our places. I’ve had a bad day and I miss you.” You say truthfully as you closed your eyes and hold the tears that want to push past your eyelids.

“I’m sorry to hear that baby, but I don’t think it would be good for us to see each other right now. Management—“

“Please Tae. I need you.” You interrupted him as a sob coursed through your throat. You felt pathetic for asking for your boyfriend’s attention when you knew how busy the industry is during this time of the year, but you just heard your dreams are in danger and you needed someone you could vent to.

“Baby… I think it would be better if we follow our mana—“

“God! Do you not want to see me?!” This unexpected rage filled you as you began to see red behind the tears that dripped down your cheeks. Your apartment felt too hot. The heat made you agitated. You wanted one thing and the world couldn’t even give you that.

“You know it’s not like that.” Taehyung’s small voice sounded hurt from behind the phone’s speaker, but it enraged you more knowing your hurt was hurting him. You couldn’t do one thing right, couldn’t you? No. How dare he act hurt when you doubt he even fights for you in their meetings. It was always you asking to see him and he would remind you of both your management team’s warnings.

“Really?! Because I’m starting to think that you don’t even want to see me anymore. We haven’t even seen each other since summer! God knows where you’ve been during your tours.” Your last statement was uncalled for. You knew that. Your anger shouldn’t start accusations especially when you know that the man on the other side of the phone was deeply in love with you, but rage makes you do unexplainable things.

You were angry at everything and everyone, and the words that spilled out of your mouth had no further value but the vile that it carries. Taehyung knew that, but he was in the middle of his fifth shoot of the week. He was trying to be as patient as he could be with you, but a nerve had been touched when you questioned his loyalty. How could you question his loyalty when he has done everything in his power to show you how much he was in love with you? He had asked countless times when he could see you, but rejection was always the answer of his managers.

He hated this year just as much as he hated himself for bringing you out to the balcony that night. Not because he regretted giving you his promise ring, but because he wasn’t thinking properly. He should’ve known that neighboring people could see him with you. He should’ve thought about it clearer. He shouldn’t have placed you in that vulnerable situation, and that idea manifested itself to why he was so willing to follow the rules of his managers. He didn’t want to put you in that place again. He didn’t want both your names to go under fire on Twitter again.

“I don’t want to fight with you right now.” Taehyung says dejectedly as the glass on your hand slips to land on the floor. The sound of the glass shattering on the floor and the water spilling on tiles reached Taehyung’s ears as a shock filled him.

“Baby?! What was that sound? Are you okay?” Taehyung sits up straighter from where he was seated in the waiting room with the rest of his band members. All their eyes went to him as he looked panicked whilst on his phone call.

“Yeah, just a glass of water. I’ll talk to you later, V.” Your voice was monotone and the usage of his stage name had caused a frown to rest on Taehyung’s face. It felt strange. It felt as though you were placing a barrier between you and him when you used his stage name. The same barrier an idol had with their fans, but your relationship wasn’t like that. You were the love of his life and the keeper of his promise. Getting called his stage name by you felt cold.

Taehyung turns his phone off after you hang up on him and he leans back on the sofa he sat on. Yoongi sat asleep on his right whilst Jungkook was nearing sleep on his left, though Jimin sat across the room on another sofa with his eyebrow furrowed as if asking the younger for what that was about. However, Jimin was beaten to ask Taehyung about his call as Namjoon pipes in from sitting beside Jimin.

“What was that about?” Namjoon asks as Taehyung sighs. He didn’t want to answer, but now five pairs of eyes were on him and the ears of their makeup artists were pressuring him to answer with something.

“You already know.” Taehyung says in a low voice, though his hyungs nod in understanding.

“I don’t get why you don’t just go see her. You know, I break Sejin’s rules all the time.” Jimin says as he earns a warning shove from Namjoon and a laugh from Hoseok. They all eventually break Sejin’s rules and Taehyung himself even broke his rules earlier into courting you, but he shouldn’t risk it now. Not when your names were out there and any signs that you were dating would be taken as the truth.

“We’ll help you sneak out later, Taehyung ah.” Jin offers as he flashes the younger a playful grin and a wink from his seat in front of the mirror surrounded by makeup artists.

“Sejin will pay you out of everything.”

“You have to be careful though. Our company could buy you out, but hers might not have the funds for it.” Hoseok pipes in as his sudden negative input has everyone turning to him with questioning looks.

“Don’t you guys look at their stocks? It’s been getting lower since last year. It might be the reason why you weren’t protected from the balcony incident.” Hoseok says as he flashes the boys his screen that is filled with stocks.

“No, the balcony incident was because the people who caught us immediately posted it without the help of media outlets. Our management can only protect us to an extent.” Taehyung now speaks as he shakes his head and massages his forehead. They all knew that. If fans capture them then it would pose a larger threat because they were willing to release any media without sending an email and deal to companies.

But what Taehyung did take note from what his hyung said was how your company’s stocks were lowering. You never told him that problem so he thinks it isn’t a major problem, though if his hyung knew about it then the changes must be drastic.

And they were drastic. After you hang up on Taehyung, you have turned your tears into a driving power to get working on some lyrics in your notebook. You didn’t even realize the amount of time that had passed as you spent it hunched over the coffee table writing away. The glass shards still littered the tiles of the kitchen and your mascara still darkened your eyes.

It was already one in the morning and Taehyung carefully got into your apartment building as both his hands held your favorite takeout paper bags with drinks. The boys had in fact helped him sneak out of the dorm that night, and it took him a few minutes and taxi rides to finally get everything he wanted to buy for the night.

He was going to apologize tonight. He was going to tell you the truth of everything on his mind and he would listen to everything you had to say. He wanted to make things right and it starts with giving you a kiss as soon as he enters the door.

The knock from your apartment’s door was the first sound you’d heard in the past few hours. It brought you to consciousness from your endless writing, and when you looked down to see your work everything was only an incomprehensible mess. Dried tear stains littered the pages and the callus on your finger grew thicker from friction.

You pushed yourself up from your spot on the carpet and walked carefully towards your front door. Another soft knock followed after some silence and you wanted to tell the person on the other side that you were coming, though your throat was raw from lack of usage.

“Hey baby.” Taehyung’s figure greets you as you open the door. His freshly trimmed dark hair covered his forehead as his mask was discarded under his chin. His figure was engulfed in a black jacket with its hood unused. A soft smile played on his lips, though it fell as soon as he saw your figure. The smile instead was replaced with a look of worry as you can only imagine what state you looked like.

“I— I’m so sorry I didn’t come any sooner…” Taehyung immediately sets down the paper bags of food by the doorway before approaching you to engulf in a big warm hug. The hug that you had wished for earlier, and finally your emotions were put to ease.

The little droplets of rain left on his jacket and his steady heartbeat got rid of every pain and anger you had in your body and you finally let your eyes close as you hugged him back. His breath on top of your head slowly brings you back to the love and warmth you always knew would come to you.

“Tae, my— my company…”

You both had let everything out through dinner. In the early hours of the day, you both cried and laughed. You catched up with the happenings of each other's lives and you forgave each other.

“You know what would be great right now?” You spoke as Taehyung looked up to you from his place on your lap. His head rested on the valley of your thighs as his Hwarang drama played on the TV in your living room. His eyes bright and a soft smile permanently plastered to his lips.

“What?”

“A cone of ice cream.” You say as you watch his eyes brighten at the idea. So what if he just got his teeth cleaned and they were sensitive to cold food? If you wanted ice cream then he wants it too.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s get some ice cream!” He says as he sits up and turns off the TV.

“Tae, we can’t go out.” You remind him though the brow he raises and smug look on his face just makes a smile break your lips.

“I don’t care. No payouts, no worries. If they know then they’ll know. I’ll get my girl her ice cream!”

You giggle as Taehyung goes into your bedroom and comes out with a large black puffer jacket, a pair of warm socks, and a scarf. He ordered you to stand up as he wrapped the warm jacket over your figure and wrapped your neck up with a scarf. He pulls out a wet wipe to gently wipe your face with any dried tears or mascara before he pulls you towards the front door.

He doesn’t even let you crouch down to tie your own shoes or put your own socks on because he does it for you before he does his own. And soon you were already walking out your apartment building with his hand playing with yours.

You ended up grabbing a cone of your favorite ice cream from an ice cream place that was open 24/7. It was roughly a fifteen minute walk from your place and when he sensed your pace slowing, he took a detour and took you to a riverside road that had benches looking out onto the river.

Light bulbs tied into strings hung from trees and the gentle flow of the river made the place serene. You two sat on a bench and ate your ice cream by the river as silence engulfed you two. A comforting peace hugging you tightly as time seemed nonexistent when you were with him. You leaned your head on his shoulder and basked in the moment. A buzz of restlessness ringing in your ear, though it didn’t matter whenever he was near.

If someone took a picture of you now then you wouldn’t care anymore. As long as you were with him then you would be fine.

Everyone was convinced that the two of you were dating and ever since then you were a bit more shameless to post pictures on your instagram with a few too many similarities to deny that you two weren’t in the same place at the same time.

With the news of your unconfirmed relationship reaching new lengths with more leaked content, you two became somewhat old news. Everyone knew there was something undeniable between you two, though nothing had been confirmed. Your two companies stayed out of it after their first statement that only clarified that both of you weren’t engaged, though it also said that your companies had no rights in your personal engagements.

A month after, your latest comeback had been released and it was a massive pop. It had landed the charts and stayed on the Top 5 even with rising competition and BTS’s unstoppable Dynamite single. And Maybe, just maybe, it could save your company’s decline.

The end of November was the season of awardings and your latest comeback just manages to squeeze into the eligibility period of the criteria. Which meant your hit comeback had actually landed you multiple nominations, and perhaps your first ever Daesang? If that was possible against BTS’s unstoppable year.

It felt as though your struggles through the year were getting set to rest, and whatever happens now was up to the world’s hands.

Arriving in the 2020 Mnet Asian Music Awards felt like a reward. You could finally relax and enjoy the event of your year’s work. In these events you would always remember how it changed your life by letting you and Taehyung meet gazes. How it made you meet your closest friends and interact with fans from different fandoms. It was a celebration whether you left as a winner or not.

Taehyung took his first step out to walk the red carpet as cameras flash all around him. The crowd of fans behind the media outlets raised their phone cameras as cheers roared. His bandmates smiled and waved as they took a spot right in front of the banner backdrop.

They were missing Yoongi that night. The rapper was absent to recover from his long due shoulder surgery that he got in an accident years ago. This small change in their usual order had all the staff and management team on edge. They already had to relearn their choreography and positions for the performance tonight, and the staff were busy all week to find ways on how they would spend Yoongi’s rap parts of the song without him, so it was an understatement to say that everyone was a little tired and on edge for tonight.

The six remaining members all arranged themselves into their familiar order, with Taehyung leading the line and leaving a space for Yoongi before Jin, Jungkook, Namjoon, Jimin, and Hoseok followed in order.

They all stopped at the first spot where semi-popular outlets took pictures of them and their different colored suits. They all had a mix of muted navy, white, and some accents of maroon, a color scheme that stood out from the classic black suit. Taehyung wore navy trousers and a matching suit jacket whilst his undershirt was a satin white. His suit jacket was buttoned up to his chest and had a maroon colored handkerchief in its pocket.

After a few seconds, a director had signed for Taehyung to continue walking along the carpet as the boy group Seventeen, that was ahead of them in the queue, moved towards the part of the carpet where the event hosts would interview them.

Taehyung glanced behind him to make sure his bandmates were following him as he moved further up the queue. They stopped once again with their line still intact and they posed for the more known media outlets.

At the same time, their junior’s Tomorrow X Together arrived and followed them in the queue by taking their previous spot. Their hoobaes dressed in fitting black suits as they arranged themselves in a line and posed for the cameras. The crowd also cheered for them, before they reverted their attention to the short interview held on the members of Seventeen.

Another cue of a director made Taehyung turn to watch the Seventeen walk inside the building. He waited patiently for all members to enter before he followed to occupy the spot they had left. The host, Song Joong Ki, greeted the members as Taehyung was handed two microphones that he passed to his bandmates. He would let his hyung’s take care of the interview answers, though he still smiled to the cameras that flashed and broadcasted the carpet.

“Welcome! Bangtan Sonyeondan!” Song Joong Ki announces as classic questions fall from his lips, though he has lost all of Taehyung’s attention when he saw you enter to lead your group on the queue of the carpet.

Your body clad in a white angelic like satin material dress. It had thick bows as spaghetti straps on your shoulders, though it kept the skin of your collarbone and shoulders exposed. It hugged your torso tightly almost like a corset before it loosened below your waists and made you seem like a doll. Hemline details on your skirt had separated the silky fabric of the bodice and majority of the skirt to the more flowy and scrunched material that gave your dress an airy aura. Your white heels polished to shine as bright as the cameras, and your angel-like makeup made Taehyung feel like he was actually seeing an angel.

He didn’t care if people saw how his mouth stood agape and how his gaze stayed on you for a moment too long. It was the only appropriate reaction to your outfit. Your bandmates also had varying white dresses on, yet you seemed like the star of the show. A true beauty that he was blessed to witness in his lifetime.

“Taehyung ah, stop staring at your girlfriend and move.” Jin had whispered to Taehyung. The space for Yoongi in between them had disappeared as Taehyung snapped his gaze back to his hyung. He could see you posing for pictures on his peripheral vision, though the slight nudge of Jin pushing him along to enter the venue was enough for him to stop watching you.

He could even see Jimin flashing him a smirk as it was quite obvious who had stolen all his attention. Taehyung was shameless as he only smiled and calmly walked towards the small steps leading to the venue.

He wondered how he would celebrate tonight. The Mnet Asian Music Awards always have been an indicator to him that it had been another year since he met the most beautiful angel on Earth. He would always replay the moment he caught your eyes when he received an award, and sometimes, if he was lucky, your eyes would meet and he falls for you deeper than he had the first time you met. Gosh, he hoped one of the cameras had gotten a good picture of you because he can’t wait to make it his homesc—

Bang.

And screaming was all he heard as his head snapped to find out what the commotion was about. Everyone’s handheld cameras had turned to the start of the queue, and the cameras that were on fixed stands to face the carpet in front were left unattended by the camera directors. All their eyes widening at a sight that Taehyung couldn’t see.

Security guards that stood near the venue entrance had run past Taehyung to get to the commotion, though Taehyung couldn’t see through a combination of his hyung’s heads and the bodies of managers and staff that filled the red carpet.

Taehyung was more curious than worried about the commotion. All he knew was that the commotion had taken place at the start of the queue where he stood just a few moments ago. Taehyung watched as all his members tried to raise their necks to see past the crowd.

Namjoon had tapped a staff member to ask what happened, and Taehyung would have intently eavesdropped the conversation if not for the face Jimin had flashed Taehyung as he turned with a worried look. It was a look that knew something.

How did Jimin see through the crowd? They didn’t know.

“What is it?” Taehyung asked as Jimin stopped stretching his neck and stared at him with wide eyes whilst licking his lips as if he was finding the right words to describe the situation he saw.

But Taehyung didn’t need to hear it from him as Jin soon found a gap to see what happened, and the loud ‘woah’ that involuntarily left his throat was enough for all members present to look at him.

However, just like Jimin did after seeing the commotion, their eldest member flashed Taehyung worried eyes before grabbing Taehyung’s wrist as if he could bolt at any moment. These glances and actions were starting to worry Taehyung now. He would understand if the members who saw something happened wouldn’t want the other members to know, but why did it look as if they didn’t want him specifically to know or react.

“What?” Taehyung’s Daegu accent came out as he was getting worried at what was happening.

Then a few gasps came from the crowd that watched and Taehyung finally found a gap to see someone on top of another person at the start of the queue. Right where your group was standing mere seconds ago.

Taehyung tugged at Jin’s grip as he finally saw someone pull the erratically moving person off the floor and the person she had pinned to the floor.

Who was getting attacked? Taehyung didn’t know yet, but something in his stomach told him that his hyungs knew.

The crazy woman was pulled off the floor by a security guard. Taehyung's gaze went from the woman fighting the guard to one of the barriers that separated the general crowd of fans from the photographers, carpet, and artists. The barrier was on the floor as other fans didn’t dare cross it, though he had figured that the loud bang was from the barrier falling to the floor.

Taehyung then let his gaze wander to whoever the woman had pinned to the floor and lo and behold… it was you.

Seeing your messy hair and disoriented figure had blood surging through Taehyung’s body. A different type of adrenaline flowed through him unlike the ones he experiences at concerts. No, this one made him want to fight and flight at the same time.

Taehyung easily pulled away from Jin’s grip as he walked past Jimin before he could block his way. The call of his name from Hoseok and Jungkook fell on deaf ears as he continued his fast strides towards you. His eyes fixed on your figure before it was lost behind a crowd of people.

Taehyung pushed past TXT with little to no problems. He simply murmured an apology and an ‘excuse me’ as he passed through.

A ring of people had circled where you were supposed to be as Taehyung pushed past people in his goal to reach you. It felt as though his body was walking through quicksand at how he had to forcibly get his body past the crowd.

He can feel his suit get wrinkled and his shoes get stepped on. His hair must be ruffled by now and perhaps one of his prop rings had already slipped past a finger, but it didn’t matter. As long as the silver band he had as your promise was fine and he gets to you in the least amount of time then anything else could be replaceable.

With one more push he finally got to the middle of the crowd. The air felt less dense, though Taehyung couldn’t get a proper breath in until he could see that you were okay.

It didn’t take long for your eyes to meet each other though. Your wide blown out eyes reach peace as your eyes meet his, and he would be lying if your eyes didn’t give him just a small bit of ease running through his body.

He immediately took a step towards you as a few gasps were heard followed by a louder bang rang and silenced his surroundings. A disorienting buzz ran through his ears as he turned towards the woman to see her get tackled to the floor by multiple security guards and a gun slipping past her grip.

The bang wasn’t another barrier falling…

She shot a bullet

And he didn’t know where it landed.

Taehyung reached for you to engulf with his body and shield you from the direction the woman was. You immediately collapsed into his grip as you brought your hands to cover your face and bury yourself in Taehyung’s suit.

“Baby, are you okay? Are you hurt? D—did you…” Taehyung couldn’t finish what he wanted to ask you as he opted to skim your body for any obvious injuries.

He wasn't going to admit it but he was looking for a bullet wound under the fabric of your dress, though all he saw was the ruffled satin material as you cried onto his chest. His grip on you tightened as he turned his head back to see proper police men restrain the woman in handcuffs.

“You’re okay now. You’re fine. You’re safe, baby. She’s gone.” Taehyung repeats his words over your hair. A kiss landing on your messy hair. His whispers of comfort placed ease into both your bodies, though you could still hear his heart pumping heavily.

“Tae…” You were breathless as tears uncontrollably dripped down your cheeks. You were just thankful that Taehyung was blocking you from the media. Now that the woman was gone, the media was bound to get an aftermath photo of you so you were just glad they couldn’t see you in the middle of a breakdown.

“Yes baby? Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance?” Taehyung asked as he rubbed a hand on the top of your hair to soothe down some loose strands, though the action was more to comfort you than fix up your appearance. He was well aware of the cameras and whispers around you.

“Are— are you hurt? The g-gun…” Your voice shakes as you wipe your tears and look up at him.

The sounds of cameras flashing, managers and staff speaking loudly, and police, was the loud buzzing of your ear. It started right as you were tackled to the ground with a twist of your ankle and your head hitting the not so soft red carpet. It still heavily buzzes in your ear over any other noise, excluding Taehyung’s calming voice which you can hear just as clear as the vibrations of your heart pumping.

“No. No, I’m not hurt, baby. Please answer me now. Are you okay?” Taehyung repeats himself whilst placing emphasis on the word ‘you’. He brings a gentle hand to wipe tears sliding down your cheek as you take in the condition of your body.

“My— my ankle… I think I twisted it when I fell, but I think I’m fine.” You say as the adrenaline wears off and an uncomfortable sting comes to your left ankle. You still stood on your heels effortlessly, though a growing tingle had started to spread from where the heel’s strap held onto your ankle.

“Okay. Thank you for answering.” Taehyung kisses your lips swiftly before he raises a hand to call for attention, and looks towards the direction of the venue. Paramedics and staff that were on standby were already walking down the carpet as your eyes even catch Jimin’s worried eyes skimming over both you and Taehyung. The medics were by your side in no time as the crowd around you disperse.

“She said that she might’ve twisted her ankle.” Taehyung says to the paramedics who nodded, though they didn’t signal him to let go just yet.

“Let’s go to the back to check for further injuries. The media is out of control.” A manager suggested to the paramedics who agreed.

“Can you walk?” Taehyung asks as you merely nodded before you were led to a private space behind the wall of the red carpet. Taehyung continued to support you as you took heavy steps in your heels.

The small space behind the backdrop wasn’t too spacious though it was enough to shield you as the paramedics opened a kit and let you sit down on a small plastic stool. Taehyung stood right beside you. Your fingers intertwine as your fingers meet the cold material of his promise ring, and that’s when it hits you.

“Sh-shit.” Your once dried cheeks had now turned wet again as you looked down to your hand and found all your fingers were bare from any jewelry.

“Shh… You’re fine, baby. You’re getting treated.” Taehyung rubs your head to help soothe you though your sobs start to grow as the paramedics ask you what’s wrong, though you only shook your head to dismiss them.

“Tae… I lost the— the ring. It— It must have fell when I—“

“It’s fine, baby. I can buy you a new one.” Taehyung reassures you, though you were inconsolable.

“Please, say something if this hurts Miss.” The medic speaks as she caresses the skin of your ankle. A yelp leaving your lips as the medics nodded and continued to assess your shin.

From the way your chest heaved with each sob and the way tears fell from your eyes, the medics couldn’t assess you properly though they made the best of the situation and made the decision to take you to the hospital.

“Taehyung, you need to get into the venue. The event is going to be delayed, but groups need to be inside the venue for security checks and safety.” His manager speaks as his head pops from the other side of the backdrop. A wheelchair strolling behind him as the medics explain to you that they were taking you to the hospital.

“What? I can’t leave her right now. Did you see what happened?!” Taehyung didn’t mean to raise his voice, though he couldn’t leave you right now. Perhaps you were physically okay, but that must have been mentally shocking and he wants to be there just to comfort you even if it doesn’t make a big difference.

“Yes, I did see. Everyone saw. And we don't know if there’s another sasaeng out there, so we need you to get in the venue now.” The manager said sternly, though Taehyung continued to ignore the orders.

He instead opted to help guide you to sit comfortably on the wheelchair. His finger grazing over red scratch marks on the skin of your forearm. He hadn’t seen those earlier, though he doubts the paramedics had missed it.

When they exited from behind the backdrop they were met with security guards escorting them to the road where the ambulance was parked. Taehyung walked alongside the wheelchair as the paramedic wheeled you to the ambulance. His manager followed a few paces behind.

You writhed with shame as you thought about all the news that could be written on this night alone and you hadn’t even entered the venue yet. You weren’t sure you could.

Taehyung was held back by his manager before he could enter the ambulance with you. His gaze in question and slight irritation as he was met by the face of their manager once more, though this time his members were walking out the venue in search of him.

“Kim Taehyung don’t go. For her sake. You can see her after, but right now we need you inside for the media's sake.” Their manager says more desperate now as he turns to meet your eyes that were inside the ambulance.

He was all too aware of the eyes watching both of you and he could tell that you were too. You gave him a slight nod as a sign that you’d be fine as he nodded more to himself and took a step back to be with his manager. For your sake, he wasn’t going to be with you right now. Not when the media would be having a frenzy already. For you, your company, and your reputation.

“Come on, get inside.” The manager nudged Taehyung to follow behind him as he kept his gaze down on the floor when a few cameras took pictures of him walking to the entrance.

A shiny piece of jewelry caught his attention as he bent down and found the promise ring he had given you last year. A promise ring that had caused you more tears than he wanted you to have.

“Come on, V.” Jimin says as he reaches out for Taehyung to accompany him in walking to the venue behind the rest of the members that flashed him pitiful looks.

“You did the right thing. She needed you, and you’ll see each other after this.” Jimin reassured, as Taehyung’s eyes began to sting from behind, though he tried to stop the emotions from showing in his eyes.

“They said it was a sasaeng?” Taehyung asked as the security guards opened the door for them and they entered the dark and cold doors of the big venue that the 21st Mnet Asian Music Awards would take place in.

“Apparently. I tried my best to eavesdrop and they said that the motive might’ve been because of your relationship. She was ARMY.” Jimin summarized everything he had heard as they both stopped in a dim hallway to wait for staff to open a door that led to the artist area.

“I still don’t get how she managed to walk past security, staff, and camera directors. How did she even have a gun?!” Taehyung was exasperated as the two ‘95 liners leaned against the padded walls. Taehyung leaned his head on Jimin’s shoulder as Jungkook came up to squeeze his shoulder.

“Is she okay? We heard guns were involved.” Jungkook asked as it was obvious that the rest of his bandmates were listening from behind the maknae.

“Yeah. She’s shaken up. Maybe even have a twisted ankle and a few scratches.” Taehyung says as his eyes zone out on the pattern of the carpet and his fingers play on the ring he held on his finger.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon shows himself from behind Jungkook as Taehyung simply nods.

The night had gone by like a blur. It was obvious to everyone watching that he was not as present as he should have been, though nobody blames him. The views of the event had skyrocketed after news broke out that an artist was attacked and yet the event continued on. Hashtags about the event and incident even went viral prior to the awards finishing because clips of Taehyung running towards you and escorting you to the ambulance had gone viral. It practically happened in front of everybody so it was bound to get posted, and technically no blood or gore had been shown so the content wasn’t blocked as quickly as both your companies and the event organizers wanted them to be.

Taehyung walks through the hospital hallways with paper bags of your favorite takeout food, your favorite drink, some spare clothes of his that you could change to in case your personal assistant didn’t bring good comfy clothes, and a small cake of your favorite flavor. He had made do with how late it was and how your favorite bakery was already closed.

It felt like deja vu once again. However, this time he wasn’t riding the elevator to your apartment but rather riding it to your hospital room.

Your absence from the event was so painstakingly obvious for him and everyone. He was jittery all night, and your group seemed so small when they occupied the stage for their performance. It was obvious that they had done last minute blocking, and the bactrack had been used for your solo parts. They seemed so small when they walked down the artist area and got to the stage to receive the Best Female Group award and the Best Female Group Dance Performance award. Your group wasn’t small in the sense that they had little members, though it felt like something was missing. Your big bubbly smile and your funny yet carefully worded speech was missing, and Taehyung could speak for everyone that your presence was greatly missed.

He had received a text from you as soon as the event ended and when he got his phone back. Your text contained your congratulations for him and his wins and performances. Jimin even showed Taehyung a message you sent that congratulated Jimin and the rest of BTS. It was certainly a good year for them, and you had grown closer towards your boyfriend’s close friend despite only interacting a few times.

You told him that he should probably visit later into the evening since your group would be visiting you after the event, though Taehyung didn’t listen and still went as fast as he could when ordering food.

He arrived at your hospital room at almost two in the morning and from what he could hear, your bandmates were still in your hospital room talking to you.

He knocked on the door and heard the girls quiet down as one of the members opened the door to see Taehyung standing in the middle of the hallway with his PA behind him holding the bag of clothes and box of cake.

“Hey, sorry to intrude on your celebrations but can I come see my girlfriend?” Taehyung says as a smile couldn’t help but creep up his face as his heart swells with pride with how he openly says that you were his girlfriend.

“Yah Y/Nah, your boyfriend is here.” The member smiled brightly as she opened the door wider to show you laying in the hospital bed with wide eyes from Taehyung’s early arrival. Your other bandmates had visibly smiled brighter when Taehyung entered the room.

“Good evening.” Taehyung greets as he places all of the paper bags on a nearby table and bows deeply to your bandmates.

“Congratulations on your wins and performance!”

All of your bandmates greet the same words as they bow just as deep to their sunbaenim.

“You should have told us Kim Taehyung sunbaenim was coming. We should’ve ordered more food for him—“ You leader speaks as you stay silent yet a small smiles lingers on your lips when Taehyung doesn’t let his eyes leave you.

“It’s okay. I brought some takeout to eat, and a cake to celebrate your wins.” Taehyung opens the small cake he had brought as his PA takes his leave and walks out the door.

“Oh V sunbaenim, thank you! We already had some cake, but I’m sure Y/N would love that. She barely ate anything tonight.” One of your members discloses as you send her a warning gaze as her face contorts into a look of apology.

Taehyung’s brown doe eyes met yours once more and this time it held the same worry it had earlier in the evening. You hated that. You hated seeing him worried over you, though at the same time it made you feel so cared for.

“We should probably get going. We need some rest and we can celebrate properly when you’re feeling better Y/N.” Your group’s leader says as they all excused themselves after they bid you well and congratulated Taehyung once more.

You were left in the silence of your hospital room with Taehyung at last. It felt like a decade just to get some time alone ever since the incident, and it felt like a reward to finally be alone together after the stressful night.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Taehyung asks as he comes towards the side of the bed to give you a kiss on your cheek.

“Not in the mood for it.” You say honestly because you really didn’t feel hungry, though Taehyung’s brow raised to doubt your answer.

“Come on, don’t let me eat all of this alone.” He says as your favorite food reaches your nose. The aroma turns the wheel of your appetite as Taehyung moves the table closer to the side of your bed.

“Seriously, Tae…”

“Please baby? Let me food you a few spoonfuls at least? It would help me feel better.” Taehyung asks as you nod willingly.

He opens up a container and grabs a wooden spoon to fill with the right amount of everything before guiding the spoon to your open mouth. The warmth of the food immediately landing in your stomach as a satisfied hum left you. Taehyung smiled at that and took his own bite with a smile.

“How’s your ankle?” He asks.

“It’s twisted, but it should heal well. I’ll be walking around with a brace, but it's not like we have a comeback coming.” You say as you move your leg from under the white blanket and show him the brace that keeps your ankle straight.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be here though. They said that I’m showing symptoms of an acute concussion, so it would be better to keep me under observation. That’s why I’m not really eating food right now. I don’t want to throw it up in case this does happen to be a concussion. ” You shrug as you eye the movie that showed on the TV.

Taehyung took your left hand in his and raised it to meet his lips. His breath grazing over your ring finger as you feel him slide a familiar metal back to its place.

“What— Woah! You found it!” You smile as you check the ring to truly see if it was the same ring he had given you a year ago. The same small dent that you had accidentally struck against the wall had grazed the design and you knew for a fact that it was the same ring you had worn as a promise.

“It’s kinda hard to miss. No wonder everyone saw it when we wore it.” Taehyung chuckles as he kisses your hand again before you pull him closer to you to kiss on the lips.

His usually soft lips still had some remnants of lipstick from the makeup of their performance. However, the surface wasn’t the soft flesh you’ve come to be familiar with. It was bitten and cracked in some places. Some skin was freshly peeled and others were dry and waiting for the time to be peeled. It was a sign that he had bitten them off prematurely as a coping mechanism from anxiety.

“I’m sorry, baby. I— I heard the fan was a sasaeng and I didn’t even try that hard to join you in the ambulance, but I— I didn’t want the media following and— and our companies… It’s not an excuse—“

“Tae, it’s not your fault.” You state sternly with your expression straight. You didn’t know where this reaction was coming from, but you had to shut down all those thoughts.

“She was a sasaeng— an ARMY…” Taehyung was teary eyed as he sat on the side of the bed with his hands wrapped around your waist as your arms rested on his shoulders.

“You can’t control them and you can’t control what our agencies tell us to do. Just like how they told us to keep some distance when we told them about our relationship. We can break what they say sometimes, but eventually we know we have to follow them. Like how we still kept on seeing each other and how you still had to join the event.” You explained as he nodded.

He was tongue tied or perhaps he didn’t have anything more to say. He just wanted to hold you and tell himself he did everything he could to prevent what happened and that at the end of the day you are fine with injuries that could be fixed. He wanted to kiss you and feel your skin against his. He wanted to breathe in your scent and feel your chest move with every inhale and exhale.

So he did just that. He laid beside you and brought your body down with him to embrace. Your skin against his as you both settle in a comfortable position.

“What if we weren’t idols?”

“Don’t say that Tae. We met because we were idols. We met because we wanted to study being idols and you saw me because you are a damn good idol.” You say as Taehyung laughs and kisses your cheeks.

“I know, but like what if we went away for a while. Just the two of us and some place we don’t know.” Taehyung proposes as you tilt your head to think over the idea as you signal him to continue his brewing thought.

“Just for a few days or a week. We deserve it after a long year. Besides, it’s my birthday soon.” Taehyung smiles brighter when he mentions his birthday as if you hadn’t been saving up for his birthday gift already.

“That does sound nice…”

“So it’s settled! New Year’s and my birthday in some place we don’t know! I’ll start planning it tomorrow.” Taehyung smiles as you laugh with him, but really he was planning on replacing your dented ring with a new one.

“Also I brought some clothes. I was wondering if I could sleep here tonight.” Taehyung asks as you smile and land a kiss on his lips.

“I was waiting for you to say that. My parents are visiting early in the morning though, so you better be up by then.” You both chuckle as he kisses you once more.

“Are you comfy in your clothes? I have your favorite sweater in the bag, and a coat in case you ever feel like having ice cream again.”

You chuckle as you slightly nudge his shoulder. This man truly was something else.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY V!

And

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

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