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joshusten · 6 months

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honeysuckle (guy/honey, redacted audios)

Guy is having not-so-wholesome thoughts about his recently turned roommate-to-lover.

NSFW CONTENT!! (minors dni pls!)

(suggestive, making out, dirty thoughts, implied sexual content at the end)

3.2k+ words [ao3 link] [masterlist]

[cw/notes: idk man guy is horny and theres a lot of horny stuff but it's not SUPER explicit (i think) and plsplsss im asking for feedback bc this is the first time writing something this suggestive hope u enjoy!! OH also as always theres probably grammatical errors and guy might be OOC]

A HUGEEE thank you to the wonderful @slushiepizza for all the amazing suggestions and support throughout writing this fic!! this rlly would not be finished without ur help thank you for ur service in providing quality guy/honey content SHAKING U RN ILY!!!

Guy is a daydreamer.

Ask anyone who knows him, from his grade school teachers to his apartment neighbors, and they can attest that Guy never seems to run out of topics to talk about. Never a dull moment, much less a dull idea to mull over when he’s around.

In fact, his imagination is something he prides himself in. After all, as an aspiring writer, it’s what gives the very soul of all of the stories he wants to share with the world—whether it’s the exciting plot of a potential novel he has been writing (and rewriting) all night throughout the week or an epic fantasy he was able to make up on the top of his head and narrate to the kids by the playground of the middle-school he makes deliveries to.

Guy is a daydreamer.

And it might be the very trait that would be the root of his current predicament.

Slow hands, languid movements

“Does this feel good, Honey?”

Heavy breaths, sharp gasps

“You can get r-rougher, babe. I can take it…”

Warm bodies, warmer lips

“M-mhm, Guy…”

Fuck. Their lips…

“Guy?”

Fuck.

“Guy!”

Fuck.

“Hello? Earth to Guy? You with us, buddy?”

Shit. Fuck. Fucking shit.

“Wh-wha-what? H-hi! Yeah, of course I am. I am here. On the earth. Present. With you guys,” Guy cleared his throat awkwardly after seeing the unconvinced, deadpan looks on his co-workers' faces. Rosa specifically had her brow raised in suspicion to which Guy responded with a nervous smile. “Uh, what’s up?”

“What’s up,” The woman repeated, “Is your constant staring into space! You almost burned the dough if it weren’t for me keeping an eye on you! I’m used to your head in another world but you’ve barely said a word for the past few hours!” The others nodded in agreement.

Rosa's hard eyes softened, “Is everything okay with you? Something botherin’ you or what?”

Right. Dough. Pizza. He’s making pizza. He’s kneading dough. The flour clinging to his hands suddenly felt heavier, the scent of basil overwhelmed his nose and the chattering of the customers increased in volume but that meant that everything was starting to make sense. He took in his surroundings, which were quickly clearing up for him, to finally decipher that he was still in Max’s, in the kitchen and it was still his shift.

Definitely not with his recent roommate-to-lover and definitely not in their dimmed bedroom, straddling them on their bed with a delightfully sinful expression painted on their face as his shaky hands slowly creep up between their—

Oh my god.

The very thought of them already leaves Guy's legs feeling like jelly. These daydreams had been a problem for him for quite some time. It wasn't like it was a crime to get all hot and bothered over his partner! Yet, lately, an unexplainable sense of shame builds inside him whenever his mind wanders to more…impure scenarios with them.

Because despite what anyone might think of him and how he jokes about it, he's a little scared of being intimate with someone—no—with Honey.

Oh fuck, someone asked him a question.

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine. Just a lil’ tired, I guess.”

And he isn’t lying, really. The fatigue of making pizzas and serving tables was no joke and, with all the very interesting fantasies occupying his mind, his shift slightly just got more difficult to get through than what he was used to. (Thank god he's not on delivery duty right now. He's self-aware enough to know he would get into an accident with his current situation)

His co-workers still looked suspicious but accepted his answer nonetheless, hurriedly going back to their tasks to avoid the wrath of their manager. The man let out a sigh of relief as he resumed his own tasks for the day.

As his grueling shift came closer to an end, he was more than ready to take the apron off and get the absolute fuck out of that kitchen.

—

Guy might actually be the first person in all of Dahlia to dread coming home to an apartment that he shared alongside his (literal!) dream partner who was waiting for him after a long, tiring day at work.

Honey, who was all bundled up in a blanket on the couch, paused the show playing on the T.V. to face their boyfriend and properly greet him, “Hey, welcome home. How’s work?”

“It was shit. Did you eat already?”

He saw them already heading their way to their small kitchen, reaching for something in the refrigerator. “Yeah, I left some for you in the fridge. We can heat it up if you want?”

“Nah, it’s okay. I ate back at the restaurant. What are you watchin’?” But before he could get a reply, Guy’s body stiffened when he felt a light shock from where Honey had suddenly touched his upper arm.

Light touches.

Heavy panting.

Hot air.

“Oh, f-fuck, Guy. Do that again, hon. Please. Don’t stop, don’t—”

“ —think I didn’t hear you, mister! What do you mean your day was shit?” If Honey had noticed their boyfriend flinching at the mere tap on his shoulder, they didn’t comment on it.

“U-uhm,” He coughed and shrugged lamely to hide his reaction. “Just the usual stuff.” The man put down all his stuff on the nearby coffee table. “C-can I just lay on your chest for a while? If it’s okay with you.”

Despite Honey’s aloofness, they can recognize when their partner is truly in need (And who could say no when their boyfriend’s usual chaotic self sounds so adorable being shy?) The gentleness in their gaze was enough to calm Guy’s frazzled mind, even just for a bit, before sitting on the sofa and patting on the empty spot beside them, albeit looking quite unsure on how to comfort him.

“C’mere. Do…do you wanna talk about it?"

Guy simply shakes his head before letting himself crash onto the couch and into his beloved's (with the second "e" pronounced!) welcoming arms—or, at least, what welcoming might look on Honey. He can feel the rigidness of their posture, remembering how awkward they can be with physical touch, yet here they are, going out of their comfort zone just to make sure he feels better.

It makes him guiltier to know why he was acting like this in the first place.

“Can you…talk about your day instead, Honey?”

They rolled their eyes with a fond smile, “Fine, but don’t think I’m letting go of it that easily, m’kay?”

As Honey recounts the events of their day (which honestly isn't much), their stiff demeanor eventually relaxed to the point where they were more comfortable with absentmindedly giving affection, unaware that they’d been playing with Guy's hair for the past few minutes. The gentle massages on his scalp were a much-needed distraction for his mind.

That is until he felt a sharp tug from Honey in an attempt to untangle their fingers between his messy locks.

Fistfuls of hair.

Skin on skin.

Arched backs.

"Fuck, keep doin’ that, Honey. Oh–”

“—shit! Sorry about that. Did I pull too hard?” Honey was already moving their fingers away from his head before Guy quickly (a little too quickly) halted the movement. Guy guided Honey’s hand back to its original place on his head, squeezing ever so slightly.

“No! It's okay, Honey. Just…keep it there.”

Honey gives him a knowing smirk, “You are acting so weird, you know that?”

“Just indulge in a poor man’s wishes, will you?” Guy dramatically lamented, really wanting to avoid the conversation and go back to relaxing and getting some rest.

“Whatever you say, man,” They replied, resuming from where they left off with their story.

As much as Guy would love to listen, his focus started wandering elsewhere as his mind drifted to sleep.

The ticks of the clock, the scent of Honey’s body wash, the number of their eyelashes.

The texture of Honey's soft blanket.

Messy sheets.

Desperate thrusts.

Sweat dripping.

"Oh god, G-Guy, I think–I think I'm g-gonna–"

"--come?"

"H-huh?" Guy hadn't realized how hard he was gripping the throw pillow on his lap. At this point, he’s going to expose himself one way or another if he keeps being out of it. He tried his best to compose himself, hiding his distress behind a laugh. "S-sorry, Honey. Could you repeat that?"

Honey did a face, softly chuckling for a bit, before repeating their question. "I said; 'I'm gonna go buy a gift for Ollie’s birthday tomorrow morning, do you wanna come? It’s your day off tomorrow, right?”

“Uh, y-yeah. Of course. I’d love to, Honey!”

Honey stared for what felt like forever before making a face again, this time, looking like they had just been enlightened by something and letting out a snort that was so adorable, Guy almost forgot why he was avoiding their gaze.

"Pfft– Guy, you—" Honey said through their stifled giggles (that was a tell-tale sign of the belly laughs they only share with him and no one else). They never got to finish the sentence, trying but, ultimately interrupting themselves with their own laughter.

He smiled, happy to see them show this much emotion towards him when to others they tend to be more closed off (albeit, a little confused about what caused it so suddenly). “I'm what, Honey? Hey! I'm what? Do I have something on my face?”

“You’re—pfft!”

Familiar playful slaps targeted his thighs with a faint sting he’s too far used to. He notices that their smile had their teeth showing, too busy laughing to cover it with their hand like they often do.

Guy’s crumbling.

He knew his desires were seeping through the cracks and it took all of his willpower to resist tackling them then and there—to feel every inch of their body and give them every last bit of pleasure they rightfully deserved. But he can't. He shouldn't.

So, he opts for a kiss on the cheek instead.

Something sweet enough to mask how hard his mind was reeling with overly aggressive affection. As he continued with his fleeting, featherlight attacks on Honey's face, his lips felt the smile that their mouth formed (accompanied by an out-of-breath “Guy, that tickles!”) and he found that pulling away was more difficult than he thought.

After a while of innocent pecks and bubbling snorts, Honey raised a hand to wipe a tear from their eye. They were looking directly at him now, eyes soft with their lips slightly parted and panting from laughing too hard.

Lips. Their lips.

“Guy, you good?”

A man can only have so much self-control before he breaks.

The next few moments felt like a blur. A hitched breath, a tightened grip. His lips hungrily meet theirs and the moan he immediately lets out was almost pathetic. But he couldn’t give a damn about anything other than the pleasurable weight grinding down on his crotch.

They felt so good. Everything felt so fucking good. The spinning in his mind paired with the aching throb of his cock were all too much to handle that he can’t even tell if this was real or if it was the same fantasies that had been torturing him all day.

No. It’s real. It’s all real.

Despite the haze in his surroundings—despite all the noise—the only thing occupying Guy’s thoughts were the whimpers coming out of Honey that were better than anything he could have ever dreamed of.

“Fuck,” He swore under his breath, the friction against his growing bulge breaking down any sense of sanity he had left. Guy squeezed their thigh a little harsher than intended, making Honey loudly moan out in surprise.

He took the opportunity to slip his tongue into their mouth, lapping up all the sounds he managed to coax out of them. Honey’s hands found their way to his hair, tugging like last time with more intent than before and it dragged out a needy whine from his throat muffled between their lips.

Unfortunately, the breathlessness he was experiencing isn't the same type he feels when he's around Honey and he remembered that humans do, in fact, need oxygen in their system. He pulled away from them for a quick breath, taking pleasure in how they desperately chased his lips with a soft whine, before immediately aiming at their jaw, sucking, licking, and biting skin as it trails down on their neck.

Honey is quick to respond, their fingers ghosting the hem of his work uniform before sliding them up, keeping his squirming body steady by grabbing his waist with one hand as the other roams to his chest, the shirt riding up with it and they feel his heartbeat speed up against his ribcage.

The sensation leaves Guy lightheaded. He swore he could see stars, especially after their warm palms stroked past a particular spot he didn’t even know he was sensitive to. The action had him writhing under the weight on his lap and Honey’s sudden thrust against his clothed dick brought out a stuttered gasp from him with his hips bucking up involuntarily.

“Shit, baby,” Honey whispered, the strain in their voice evident as they grind down harder just to hear Guy’s wanton moans one more time. “So fucking needy.”

Hot breaths.

Bare skin.

Intoxicating scents.

This felt like Deja vu.

Guy had seen this before. He dreamt of it so much that it felt like second nature for his body. During nights when his partner hadn’t been home yet and he was feeling oh so, lonely—so desperate. Nights when his imagination had gone truly wild, the same scenario that he had been replaying over and over again. The one where he would have them in a panting mess.

He vividly remembers what goes next. The movement is practiced—etched into his memory. Every bone, every nerve in his system practically has it memorized in its core.

He pins them on the arm of their sofa, the air is hot and heavy. One final passionate kiss, one final slip of his tongue, one final grind between their legs, and his hands would reach down, down where they needed him the most to—

“A-ah, Guy, w-wait!”

And just like that, Guy’s mind snaps back to reality.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

“I-it’s okay.”

“No, no, I’m really sorry. I–” He hurries to back away, pushing off his body and sitting upright with an arm’s distance away from an equally disheveled Honey. Fuck, they looked so pretty with their lips swollen like that. His eyes guiltily avoided the abundance of purple marks he wasn't even aware he left on their neck. Shit, focus! “I don’t know what came over me. I’m–”

“Guy, it’s okay, I like it!” Honey cuts him off, not allowing their boyfriend to give himself to blame for something that didn’t even need his apologies. “I like it a lot. I was just…worried. Ever since you came home you were acting kind of off and I don’t want you to go through with this when I feel like something’s bothering you.”

Honey reaches out to him with concerned eyes, which should probably be an indicator for Guy of how odd he has been acting as of late. Their fingers find his knuckles, gently tracing circles on them as they patiently wait for his response.

Guy never knew his heart could beat faster, given how…intimate their latest activities were, but here he is, out of breath and falling in love all over again.

“I-I know this is kinda weird and I’m being really weird and everything is weird right now but I…uhm. Well, I guess you were right about me being all bark but no bite after all, eh?” He cringes at the way his voice cracked at the end and clears his throat for the nth time today.

“Okay, what I’m trying to get to is that…I've…been thinking about you…in a not-so-wholesome way for a while now. And I know, I know, this isn't new. I've flirted with you before and you already said you were okay with it, even with the raunchier ones but I'm just…"

Guy nervously looks away to the side, his eyes downcast to avoid Honey's curious stare. "This feels like a whole new thing now that we’re actually together and it really means a lot to me. Us. You're actually one of the best things to ever come into my life and I don't want my lack of…keeping it in my pants…to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry for not saying anything sooner."

The deafening silence that followed his vulnerable confession might possibly be one of the worst things he ever had to experience. Then, a sudden giggle tore through the tense atmosphere.

Honey was laughing again.

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to laugh but w-was that the thing that’s been bothering you?”

They moved closer to their boyfriend, that's currently sporting a comically betrayed look on his face. “I've noticed your hard-on already, Guy. And don’t worry, I've been…thinking about you like that too for a while now.”

Guy wished nothing more than to get swallowed by the ground beneath him.

“I–What the fu–YOU—!” Guy sputtered, not quite sure if he should feel relieved or embarrassed at the moment but one thing stuck to his thoughts, Honey felt the same.

“Honeeeey! You can't just say that and—I can’t believe you would—! Oh, you have no idea how much I've been through today!”

“I'm sorry!” But their shit-eating grin says otherwise and Guy can't help not to get mad anymore with that face. “Besides, it was kinda cute seeing you all flustered for once. Serves you right, you brat.”

“Oh wow, I’m the brat in this situation? You…torment me and now you degrade me with such scornful slander?” The man places a hand on his chest melodramatically. “I’m heartbroken, Honey…and still hard!”

"Hm…Well, then," Honey's half-lidded gaze directs itself to Guy's lips. The sultry tone of their voice tickles his brain in the best way possible. "Do you want me to—"

Guy lets out a surprised squeak as his back suddenly hits their sofa with a forceful 'thump!' Their hand is placed on the side of his head, fingers twisting around his curls. The other found its way on his thumping chest, carefully sliding downwards at an antagonizing pace.

"—lend you a hand? After all, I must’ve been quite the headache for you, in more ways than one."

“Oh no,” Guy started, easily maneuvering their positions to have his partner on their back “No, no, no, you’ve been teasing me for far too long, Honey.”

“Let me," He drags his hips across theirs and he revels in the way Honey chokes on their breath. “Handle this. Is that alright with you, baby?” He wishes he could take a picture of this moment. Seeing them writhe under him was a sight he never wanted to forget.

Honey gulps before their lips form a nervously excited grin. Their pupils are blown wide in anticipation. "You better get to work then, Guy."

Then, they slowly lean towards Guy to whisper their next words to his burning ears, “And don’t worry about being rough, hon. I can take it.”

Guy is a daydreamer.

But no daydream can ever compare to the reality he's going to be experiencing right now.

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted guy #redacted honey #redacted fanfic #suggestive #mdni #sten writes!#wow how long since i last used that tag

271 notes · View notes

uselesssomebody · 2 years

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hi! i love ur writing! i have a req for billy, and if you're not interested in it, thanks anyway :) so, his vibe in the show makes me think that he uses sex to feel the love he's denied at home, esp in s3 with him playing into the hands of creepy adult women who objectify him as soon as he turns 18. maybe you could write smth abt that? like, he doesn't understand the non-sexual intimacy and unconditional love that the reader gives him, breaks down, and they comfort him/tell him he's worth more?

complete masterlist | stranger things masterlist | billy hargrove masterlist

words || 𝟜.𝟙𝕜

summary || in which the reader can’t explain why she rejected billy to him

a/n || okay second billy request published! if you have any more, send them my way. ➵ loved the request, sorry it took so long to get out, and i took a little bit of creative liberty with it, so i hope you enjoy ➵ this is an a.u. where billy was not possessed, and instead left after being stood up by mrs. wheeler. set in s3 but without any major mentioned plot points. ➵ there are no spoilers for s4

warnings || angst/fluff

billy didn’t hear the doorbell the first time it rung. however, his bedmate did - some girl he’d picked up after his shift yesterday night. she poked at his sleeping form, ushering him awake as the bell rang again. he looked at her with eyes too groggy to fully take anything in and, upon deciphering half of her mumbles, he realized someone was at the door. he rose to his feet, ignoring her requests to get him hurry back to bed.

he opened the door in a state less than decent: only a pair of basketball shorts around his waist and his chest bare - a light dew on it due to the mid-july heat. luckily, for him, the person in front of him had seen him in much less a least a few times before, so she didn’t worry about what impression he gave off.

“what - what’re you doing here?” y/n looked at him with a soft smile, knowing of his sometimes careless nature.

“we said we’d go to the mall before work?” his hand goes to his face as he attempts to wipe off the last remnants of sleep. a light groan left his form, prompting y/n to continue, “i mean, if you’re busy, we can do it some other day-”

“no,” billy shook his head, “no, let’s do it. i’ve just - i’ve got a-”

“billy!” a voice came from billy’s room, and y/n scoffed lightly. billy knew it was a playful one, but it still sent a twang of guilt down him.

“-i’ve got a guest.” he finishes, before sighing, “look, can you just give me a minute.” y/n smiles a little, before nodding.

“yeah, take your time.” her voice is soft, as if she’s worried that the girl upstairs would hear them. billy turned back towards his room.

to say billy didn’t like y/n would be incorrect. billy wouldn’t pass up a night with most girls in hawkins, and almost all of them would fawn for the opportunity of one. all that he’d met - except one. he didn’t know if y/n simply didn’t find him attractive or what it was, but she knew she made it very clear the first time they’d met: she wasn’t interested in sleeping with him.

by that point, billy was going to simply stop talking with her; what would be the point if there was no payoff the next night? nevertheless, she did talk to him, and he realized that - obviously - there was more to her than whatever billy was imagining. they became friendly after that - but barely ever friendly.

well, except for that one time. it’d been a friday night, the both of them having been provided a few 6-packs by one of y/n’s older friends. billy knew y/n was bit of a lightweight, so he matched her at a 2 to 1 ratio. knowing well what the consequences of their actions would be come tomorrow morning, the two were getting drunk off their ass. billy knew y/n liked to get chatty when drunk - well, it was more a mix of half-hearted mumbles - but this time, she was oddly quiet. with every sip, she’d rub up her arms - only covered by a light blouse - in an attempt to warm up further. billy was always a bit quiet - more calm - with her, so he slipped his denim jacket without a word. she mumbled a quiet ‘thank you’, shuffling just a few inches closer to him. she was warm - regardless of what her body said - and he appreciated the replaced heat. she was looking earnestly at the moon, and he realized that he truly did miss their usual conversation.

“what’re you looking at?” he mumbles - a vague attempt at starting one.

“moon.” a light laugh escapes him, the directness of her words comical in his hazy head.

“why?” it was a dumb question, but his brain thought it was the only way to continue. y/n sighs deeply, leaning back and resting tentatively on his chest.

“it - it’s pretty.” he smiles at the simplicity of her reasoning.

“you’re pretty.” he felt her still her breathing for a second as her body stiffened against him. it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary - billy had a tendency to flirt with her, a tendency that only increased when he was drunk. many a time, his comments were heavy-handed, and reciprocated with either a laugh or a light smack.

this time, though, it was sincere - a sincere compliment. billy knew that she was beautiful, you’d be blind not to see it. and she knew that too, but billy supposed he’d never exactly said it like this before. so directly, without any connotation to it. he supposed that was why she had stiffened - out of shock. however, he was the one to be shocked when she turned to face him.

“billy?” it was a question, and billy wasn’t sure what would come next.

“yeah?”

“i - um-” she stumbles on her words, and billy looks down at her. she looked real pretty in his jacket. the proximity of their faces spurred him on, bringing his face down an inch. in a confidence he absolutely did not expect from her, she raised her own, bringing her hands to gently cup his cheeks. her lips were soft - so soft - against his own, and he reciprocated with a hunger - he wasn’t sure where it came from - and she kissed him with a similar passion.

when she did break away, it was sudden - as if she snapped out of some trance. billy could hear her exhale sharply, before she gave him his jacket. he couldn’t remember too much after that, only that she was leaving him with 2 more unopened bottles and a newly opened box of questions.

the next morning, upon scavenging his medicine cabinet for painkillers, he brought up these questions. he did it in his standard way - of teasing her - while dancing around the central question he had.

do you want me - like i want you?

but he never got the chance to get to asking that question, as she dodged his teasing with pursed lips, and a fantastic ability to ice out that one topic of conversation.

billy didn’t ask about it again - not wanting to upset her. but, he still asked himself that question over and over, it clouding the recesses of his mind.

y/n remembered a lot more of that night than billy did. she remembered how she’d left him on his porch, how she’d rushed inside to get her things, and how she barely waved him a goodbye before booking it to head back to her own place. it seemed billy had forgotten those parts - all the better for her. she would be perfectly content with never mentioning it again - including her extremely odd reaction.

her not having to revisit her behavior made it easier for her not to revisit her emotions tied with that night. because thinking about them would only lead her to a conclusion she could never come to terms with.

she was in love with billy hargrove.

she knew billy probably thought she didn’t find him attractive, or that she was only platonically attached to him. she did give off that impression, rejecting him outright when they first met, brushing off all of his attempts to flirt, barely ever indicating that she saw him in that way. it was an easy assumption to make, and was one she was desperately trying to align her own thoughts with.

but she knew that the real reason she rejected him had been because - considering all the rumors about the guy - she simply could not bear to just be a fuck-buddy. the real reason she never flirted back was that it hurt too much for him to treat her like he was actually interested, when y/n knew he would never truly feel what she does. and she never tripped up in the act - knowing that it would ruin the best thing she’d had in a long time.

she felt her shoulders heave as she remembered that night.

her shift at the local boutique was shorter than usual. it was getting shorter everyday, the older shop owner patting her on the back as she urged her to leave, knowing that customers were taking their dollars over to the new starcourt mall. as much as she loved the job, she knew its days were numbered ever since the mall had opened up.

she checked her bag to make sure she had everything: two sandwiches, two cokes and a bottle of sunscreen. billy was always hungry after his shifts, and that man used far too much sunscreen for his job. it was a short walk, littered with a few people waving hello - sammy from the bookstore, clara and jane from the grocery store, and mrs. byers from the general store.

as soon as she entered the pool, she looked up to see his usual post abandoned, the lifeguard seat looking particularly barren over the sea of people - quite literally. she clutched her bag a bit tighter, not looking forward to having to scour the area to look for him, when she spotted him.

she felt a knot in her stomach twist a bit, her eyebrows furrowing as she saw billy speaking to mrs. wheeler. as much as she wished the interaction was purely innocent, knowing billy, and knowing that look on his face, she knew it was anything but. unable to witness it further, she finds solace in the shade of a tree by the parking area of the pool, standing a mere 50 meters from billy’s car. her face feels splotchier than usual in the summer heat, and she rubs her palms across her cheeks to soothe the burning heat of anger.

as she tucks her air behind her ear, she sees him walking out. quickly, she adjusts the bag on her shoulder, moving forward so as to meet him. his face lights up from one of confusion upon seeing her, greeting her with a warm smile. her reciprocation is half-hearted at best.

“hey, where were you? i missed you by the pool.” one of his common jibes, the suggestion that he thought about her that much whenever they were apart. if he truly did, he wouldn’t have mrs. wheeler making ‘fuck me’ eyes at him in the middle of the pool.

“you seemed busy, so i waited out here” the response was cold. she wanted to feel bad, but couldn’t bring herself to, the image of the two talking being burned into her skull, “here.” she sort of drops the sandwich and drink into his hands, her attitude is fully dismissive, and she just hopes he won’t pick up on it.

he does, but it’s not until about midway through his sandwich. eerily familiar to his favorite memory of her, the usual chatterbox seemed to be at a loss of words.

“hey, you alright?” seeming to snap her out of her thoughts, she blinked at him as she processed the question.

“huh? oh, yeah, yeah, i’m fine. just tired, i guess.” she takes another sip of her coke, before clearing her throat, “what did mrs. wheeler want?” she wanted to kick herself for asking, both knowing she was making the situation far more obvious than it had to be, and also knowing that she really didn’t want to know the answer. she supposed some small part of her just hoped that he would say something that would allow this growing, messy knot in her stomach to quell. he laughs a bit, smiling into his sandwich.

“yeah - invited her over for a few private swim lessons.” billy never had a problem mentioning his various dates, knowing that y/n wasn’t anywhere near a prude. and most days, she could hear him say something like that without trouble. today, however, she felt her mouth dry, making it incredibly difficult for her to swallow her bite. after a cough, she looks at him in shock.

“billy, she’s married. and twice your age.” he shrugged.

“so? she’s hot.” y/n looked at him, before realizing that she couldn’t stand being in the enclosed space anymore. she, instinctively looking at her wrist, quickly made some excuse about having to help her folks back home. she got out of the car without much of a goodbye.

billy watched as she walked away, feeling a sense of deja-vu.

y/n got home, her eyes swimming with tears that she never thought she’d let fall. she could not believe she’d let this stupid crush affect her this much. now, not only did she probably confuse billy, she probably ruined his mood as well. she sighed as she walked in her door, placing her near-empty bag down as she sprawled across her bed.

what the hell was wrong with her? billy had - many a time - told her about hot women he was talking to, his dates, and his women of the night. she could always feel the green bubbling that was jealousy somewhere deep under her skin, but she could always brush it off.

this time, however, something as innocent as a conversation had sparked such a visceral reaction from her. well, she supposed it wasn’t just the conversation, moreso the implication of what it would blossom. she couldn’t believe how far billy would go for simply sex - willing to be with a married woman, one who was so much older than him.

she always knew it was never just the thought of billy with other women that pissed her off so much, rather, the nonchalance of it all. had it been the former, y/n knew an easy fix: billy had tried to fuck her since they’d met, and it’d be just as easy to ‘yes’ now. no - she had a much deeper condolence.

billy didn’t care. sure, he would makes her breakfast sometimes, he buys her little gifts, and he likes making sure she’s alright - but he didn’t care. if he did, he would understand how deeply he needed to understand that she couldn’t just be a fuck-buddy. because she cares about him far too much.

the cigarette dangling from billy’s mouth was causing a cloud of smoke to block his view of the mirror, but he’d already checked his appearance a few times. he sat down, a smirk on his face, as he thought about mrs. wheeler. god, mrs. wheeler. as he thought about their conversation, his smile faded a bit.

god, y/n. she’d seemed upset in his car, but, for the life of him, he wasn’t sure why. he thought that he might have been too crude that afternoon, but she’d never particularly reacted like that before. he thought of what she said.

“billy, she’s married. and twice your age.”

sure, mrs. wheeler wasn’t his usual type - and he knew somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind that this match was odd at best and predatory at worst. he knew he had a reputation, and the look he maintained went well with that reputation. he’d seen mrs. wheeler and her crowd ogling him for 2 weeks straight, he just returned the favor by paying attention, he supposed. besides, he hadn’t had sex in a while, and this was a welcome distraction from everything else in his life.

he’d heard y/n joke that he had a craving, a joke he never necessarily dismissed. maybe it was true, and maybe it wasn’t. maybe it wasn’t just the sex, maybe it was the people that he could have next to him as he went to sleep. he never particularly had an attraction to any of these girls, but he still liked the thought of someone being wrapped around him as he went to bed.

he assumed y/n knew, as she held him often. billy knew how it looked like to others - a friend wrapping her arms around him like that - but he could not care less. she felt too soft for him to care.

it’d been a couple days since she’d walked out on him, and the two hadn’t spoken much. she realized how physically easy it was, as much as the both of them enjoyed joking about how small this town, it was more than easy enough to not cross paths with him as she went about her day.

that didn’t mean it was easy, though.

she found herself alone on a friday night - something that hadn’t happened for months. she was in the kitchen, preparing dinner. her parents were out of the house for the weekend, and she felt content in being able to use her own space. as she finished cutting up vegetables, she heard a knock at the door. her brows furrow as she checks the clock. it was late - far too late for a door-to-door salesman or a chatty neighbor saying hello. she wiped her hands, assuming her parents had forgotten something, and opened the door.

her jaw fell open at the familiar blond in front of her. his expression was hard, and his features a stark contrast from his usual smiles and smirks around her. she gulped a little, thankful she’d turned the heat down on her potatoes.

“billy?” her voice seemed to soften his expression, and he let out a small sigh through his teeth.

“can - can i come in?” his voice is a little shaky, and, suddenly, she’s very concerned. she’d always hated seeing him upset.

“yeah - yeah, of course.” he walks into the house he’d been in several times before, with a newfound uncertainty, his hands rubbing a bit as he glanced around, “my parents aren’t home, so feel free to sit.” her voice is also quiet, as she lets billy follow her into the kitchen. she doesn’t really look at him, deciding instead to check on the potatoes, before setting a pan to warm on the stove. as she clicks the gas knob into place, she turns her head to see billy seeming lost at her kitchen door. she smiles softly, waving her hand at him, “you can come in, you know.” he seems to be surprised by her words, before he realizes that he’s standing rather oddly. he steps inside, and y/n hands him a toothpick.

“i - huh?” he looks confused by the stick in his hand, before she points at the potatoes.

“see if they’re done, will you?” billy nods, looking over to poke one of them. he wasn’t fully comfortable in a kitchen, but the two of them found a rhythm, working in mostly silence unless she gave some sort of instruction to him.

finally, she plated the meal, handing one over to him as they both sat at the dinner table. it wasn’t common for the two of them to be eating a meal so conventionally: most of their meals were eaten at back-end diners, on their front porches or in the back of billy’s car. he didn’t mind, though - he supposed he needed some conventionality. they ate quietly, with the only words billy was saying were mumbled praises of the food.

although y/n was the one to talk most, billy was never this quiet. especially with his appearance being so sudden, she assumed that he’d have more to say. deciding to start the conversation, she takes a sip of water to clear her throat.

“you didn’t call.” it was a statement, but she meant it as more of a question. usually, should billy decide to come around, he’d call to know if her parents were home. he had a shockingly good track record with her parents, but it was exclusively because he was able to imitate the perfect facade of a polite gentleman. this time, though, all of that was missing.

“oh, i - i guess i forgot. sorry.”

“no - it’s okay.” they were unsure what to say to each other - the few days of silence weighing heavy on any prospective conversation. so, succumbing to the awkwardness, the pair stayed silent as they finished their meals.

as billy placed their plates into the sink, he wiped his hands on a towel and turned to y/n. he heaved a long sigh.

“she stood me up. i was in my car - that’s why i didn’t call.” y/n’s eyes widen, immediately realizing who he was talking about.

“oh - oh, billy, i’m sorry.” she doesn’t really know what more to say. i mean, billy was never really rejected, but he knew the whimsical nature of his plans - did he not realize others may behave similarly?

“it’s - it’s real stupid. i just,” he exhaled again, “think i was a distraction anyways.” she can hear the sadness in his voice, even though he tries to hide it. without giving it much thought, she wrapped her arms around him. she knew the action calmed him, and she wanted nothing more than him being calm.

“god-” she exclaimed as she rested her head on his shoulder, “don’t say that.” billy scoffs a bit, separating so as to look at her face.

“yeah? and why not? i know all these girls think i’m a distraction - a city boy to uproot their corny suburbia. you wanna know why i know that?” y/n didn’t respond, so he let go of her, turning his back to her, “because that’s all they are to me.” she wraps her arms around herself, trying to replace his warmth.

“that’s not true.” her voice is small, but it’s loud enough for him to hear, and then laugh - a humorless laugh.

“yes, it is.” his words make her feel a little ill.

“no, it’s not. because you were never a distraction to me.” billy turns back to her, shaking his head.

“yeah, but you’re not those girls-”

“i am, billy - i want you as much as those girls do. just… in a different way.” his eyes widen at the confession, and she wraps her arms tighter into her, wanting to melt into the wallpaper.

“but - but you said-”

“i know what i said. i just - i didn’t say no to you because i didn’t want you. it was because i didn’t just want you like that.” they both knew exactly what she meant, and when billy didn’t respond, she shook her head and closed her eyes, scared to look him in his, “i’m sorry, that wasn’t fair of me to say-” she nearly jumped at the feel of his fingers unwrapping her arms from herself.

“you want me?” she can’t respond, worried for his reaction, so he repeats himself, “y/n, please look at me. i need to - damn, i need to know. do you want me like i want you?” she doesn’t the process the question for a second, but - once she does - her eyes snap open to look at his. she searches for some indication of him teasing her or joking, but his eyes are as serious as her own.

“you - you want me, too?” billy’s smile tugs at his lips at her confusion.

“what - you think the flirting’s all a joke?” he can see her eyes light up in a smile, but her mouth remains agape.

“i just always assumed it was a default setting,” it makes him laugh, and he looks down at her, finding himself forgetting every single woman he’d been with in the past. in fact, the only thing he could focus on was her face, and the memory of the first time they’d kissed.

he felt her hands reach up to cup his cheeks, an action that seemed almost familiar to him, as she leaned into him. just like before, she kissed him with passion, but this time, she didn’t try to pull away from him, an expression of regret obvious on her face. no, she kissed him as if she craved him, and he knew the feeling well, digging his fingers into her sides as if he was worried she’d dematerialize in his hands.

he was the one to break from her, wanting to see her again. it felt like he was looking at a new person - such a shock to him that she actually felt like he did.

but, when he kissed her, he knew she was the same girl who’d kissed him that drunken night - wanting him so bad, but scared to say so.

#stranger things #stranger things x reader #billy hargrove oneshot #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove request #fluff #angst #dacre montgomery #do you want me like i want you

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robinsvoid · 2 years

Note

i love ur work i’ll take anythingg even scraps🙏🏼

༺ ˖࣪ she stole my candy

pairing. robin buckley x reader

content warnings. fluff? lil makeout sesh. robin’s a lil bold in this one. also not proofread :)

here is a scrap !!!! you know that kiss scene from horimiya where they’re eating candy and all that stuff? ok, but imagine it with robin… i’m literally squealing inside just thinkin about it.

it had been two hours since school ended, the sun already setting for the day, and you were sat on the floor of steve harrington’s living room in front of the flimsy halloween bucket he just had poured out on the coffee table, various types of candy clattering against the wood. robin was seated right next to you, inspecting the variety of confections scattered just before her in awe. steve still didn’t know about your relationship with robin. it had really only started recently, after robin had confessed the moment she found out you liked girls and honestly, she just hadn’t found the perfect time to tell her best friend about it yet. instead, she’s here making fun of him.

while complaining that he was too old for halloween festivities, steve nevertheless came along with dustin to gather as much candy as they could just for, well, fun. and of course, robin wouldn’t leave him alone about it.

“can’t believe you went trick or treating,” robin laughed, using her fingers to pick out the candy she liked. “what are you? like thirty?”

steve rolls his eyes and snatches a twix bar from the messy pile, “you’re absolutely hilarious, robin.”

“i think it’s sweet that you went trick or treating with dustin,” you smile, patting robin’s thigh with you hand as she turns her head, squinting at you, visibly showing you that it made her a little jealous.

“see, rob? chicks love a man who likes kids! i’m like… the most kid-loving man ever.” steve exclaims with his mouth full of chocolate, throwing the wrapper back into the bucket.

“probably wise to use a different set of words there, harrington.”

you find yourself lost in rummaging quietly through the pile of candy on the table, trying to find something out of the ordinary, something new, as you subconsciously tuned out steve and robin’s bickering, failing to notice steve had walked away to his room to go grab something real quick. after a couple seconds of searching, you found a small piece of candy with letters you couldn’t quite make out but you decided to pop it into your mouth anyway.

it was something you regretted instantly, as the piece sits in your mouth, tasteless and bitter. and robin’s watching you carefully, scooting closer towards you until her leg and the side of her body touched yours. she could see the discomfort in your face as she watched your mouth, causing her lips to curve into bright smile almost immediately. how could someone be so adorable? so… delectable? she would never know the reason behind it, only that that someone was always you.

“what flavor is that one?” robin asks, still mindlessly staring at your lips. it’s distracting; how soft they looked, how kissable they looked, how you would stick your tongue out only slightly to keep them from getting dry.

“i don’t even know. it’s just bitter?” you tell her honestly, still trying to decipher what was written on the wrapper. “it’s not good, though. i kinda hate it.”

“oh.”

and there was a moment of silence that followed right after. you don’t pay too much attention to it as you continue to inspect the torn plastic. you wonder what robin is thinking at the moment, knowing very well that she’d usually have more to say about things during every occasion but you were suddenly pulled out of your daze when you feel something warm and soft pressing against your mouth and all you could see was light brown hair.

robin sighs into your lips, darting her tongue out lightly to run it along your bottom lip and instinctively, your mouth opens as she tilts her head more to the side. you can feel her tongue inside of your mouth, roaming all over in search for something while pushing it against your own tongue and you can’t help but moan against her, knees feeling weak and your stomach fluttering as robin continues to kiss you.

she gives your tongue one last suck the moment she hears heavy footsteps coming from the stairs before pulling away completely. and you just sat there, mouth empty, breathlessly staring at her as if you were hypnotized.

“i think you taste better,” robin whispers lowly against your lips. there’s a tantalizing smile on her face as she stares back at you, before scooting away, clearly chewing on something.

fuck. you watch robin stand, muttering something along the lines of going to get water, and then, brushing shoulders with steve who had just returned from his bedroom to grab some vinyl record of a tears for fears album to slot onto his record player by his television. you sat there in awe as you stared down at the wrapper in your hand, mind thinking endlessly of robin’s tongue in your mouth. oh, you’d do anything for her to do that to you again and again and again.

“uh, you okay there, (y/n)?” the sound of steve’s voice pulls you back into reality although the memory of what happened a minute ago was still freshly running and replaying in your mind.

“what?” you say, blinking up at him as you play with the wrapper in between your fingers. “i- i’m good, steve.”

steve shrugs and plops down onto the couch, “okay, just makin’ sure. also, your lipstick’s a bit smudged.”

“yeah, um. she stole my candy.”

you clear your throat and turn your head away from him, fighting the smile that played on your lips as you bring your hand up to fix your make up.

and you know very well that it won’t be long until he puts two and two together.

✦ navigation. © ROBINSVOID

#rv; robin <3 #robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #stranger things #stranger things x reader #robin buckley x female reader #blurb #robin buckley imagine #robin buckley x f!reader #st x reader #oneshot #robin stranger things #steve harrington #maya hawke #fluff #fanfic

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marsgod · 2 years

Note

HELLO OMG I NOTICED UR MITSURI SET UP AND I ABSOLUTELY ADORE HER SO... may I humbly request fem reader x malleus I think the dynamic would be so cute I'm a suckered for the super friendly and cheerful and the other who people are scared of troupe but I always use this as a example when I request this from authors but mitsuri reader just rushing over and spinning malleus around as a greeting as others stare in shock, or just mitsuri reader making lunch for him! THANKS A BUNCH <333

Awww, i love this so so so much<3 Malleus is so sweet

⇢ Malleus x Mitsuri-like! Fem! reader

⇢ Warnings; N/a, fluff

Malleus Draconia • Diasomnia House warden

Malleus loves your shy personality! He doesn’t mind if you’re quiet, and actually prefers how ‘cutesy’ and bright you are; like a breath of fresh air

He doesn’t purposely fluster you, but when he does, he thinks you’re really cute!

“Ah, my dear, you’re face has gotten warm..”

I can imagine him letting you put your feet on his and dancing like that, and just twirling you around!

Malleus holds your hands in his own, softly guiding you towards him. He presses his head into your neck, you think you hear a small purr erupt from his throat

Malleus has always known Lilia, Sebek and Silver as kind, in their own way, but you’re genuinely kind in way that doesn’t have you worrying if you’re going to be a victim of a prank or about a headache

He likes to get things that remind him of you; Dango, a pink flower bouquet, a little charm necklace with pink and green crystals, etc. and puts them on your desk

People quite literally see the sun on a summers day and then a dark-aesthetic dragon, what a couple!

Sebek is annoyed; He thinks that you’re ruining his image and that you have ‘ulterior motives’ (he’ll never say it buts he puffs up when he’s complimented in front of Malleus)

Silver doesn’t care; As long as it’s a mutual relationship, and he knows Malleus loves you

Lilia thinks it’s funny; You both next to each other didn’t seem plausible and somehow it still managed to happen (Lilia likes that you both have pinks, greens, and blacks, albeit different shades)

Malleus enjoys listening to you, he’ll sit on his knees and listen intently as you explain whatever while pacing, making squeaks and other noises and motions to help explain

Sebek will be there too, trying to decipher it cause he genuinely doesn’t understand

The first time you ever run up and spin him as a greeting, Malleus is surprised and nearly smacks you as reflex as he isn’t used to physical affect, especially so suddenly

After that? Malleus intentionally ‘loses’ you so when you find him, you’ll do the spin attack thingy! He absolutely adores it and will let you wrap your legs around his waist and keep you held close

Malleus doesn’t have the slightest clue on how to dye hair, but thinks it’s amusing when you hum or mutter to yourself; especially if you notice him and get flustered when he just grins at you lovingly

He’s not the absolute best at cooking, but he’s better than Lilia so there’s that.. Malleus likes it when you make him breakfast or lunch (especially if you make those cute rice cakes that look like cats or bears, etc.) and he gets to show it off!!

Lilia will try to invite you to cook with him, it’ll either turn out that you get your food ruined or save Malleus, Silver, and Sebek from being poisoned

Malleus might try to make his own lunch for you, and it’s cute in a “This looks like a kid made it but omg this is so wholesome”

#malleus x reader #malleus draconia #twst malleus #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #fem! reader #i absolutely love this dynamic #{..🌸writing🌸..}

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playandchill · 7 months

Note

hehe its gna take me a bit to answer ur dialogue ask so in the meantime >:D - what would Kor's dialogue lines be for receiving gifts? (loved, liked, neutral, disliked, hated) and her dialogue for play date actions? (dining, chatting by the oasis, fireworks etc - ur choice!! ♡)

It's alright, take your time

ALSO THANK YOUUUU

Gifts

Loved:

Gifted Camera:

* Are you sure? It's not everyday you can find a camera. Well if that's the case, then i am definitely over the moon now! Among all the things the Old World left us, i am glad cameras are one of them. I can't wait to test it out. By the way, you should join me. It's only fair to share these moments of joy with you.

Liked:

Gifted Raspberry:

* They look so tasty! Nowadays, I don't get to enjoy them as much as i would love to. So thank you. ...Ah! What do you think about raspberry jam?

Neutral:

* A gift? Oh. Thank you for thinking of me. I appreciate it.

Disliked:

Gifted tomatoes:

* You've got quite the harvest... Sorry, I am not keen on tomatoes. Do you mind if i share these? I am afraid they'll go bad before i get to them.

Hated:

Gifted firearm:

* ..!?! Sorry, but... These things are too dangerous. I can't handle them. It would be better for everyone if you give it to Justice. Um... I should go now, bye.

~~~~~~

Start of a play date:

* Lead the way. Whatever you choose, we'll make every moment count.

Asked about the past:

* It might sound surprising, but i lived half of my life in Walnut Groove. We stayed with my uncle and aunt. I was always fascinated by their job. Imagine living with people who decipher and analyze texts from the Old World. You would expect someone like them to be in Atara or Vega 5, but their love for theatre is too great to be anywhere else.

* My uncle and aunt possess a big collection of literature from the Old World. Most of it consists of stories about death and other heavy themes. How do i know that? They made me read more than half of their library.

Can you believe that the first book they gave me was about a deaf-mute slave who had to drown his dog, his only friend, because of his master's whims. The story was heart-wrenching, but... strangely comforting at the time.

Sand drawing:

*You want to draw with me? Usually, i would say it's a very bad idea, but since it's just sand...

Drawing successful:

* It turned out better than i thought. Soon enough, it will be just a memory for us two and those who were lucky enough to see it before wind does.

Drawing unsuccessful:

* We certainly... poured our hearts into it. What now? Out of sight, out of mind as they say...

#kornada #i started removing things and changing it so much so i decided to stop myself with this #maybe in the future i'll add more who knows

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da-gamingojichan · 9 months

Text

Robooty's awezome itager sex fanfic (AIDS EDITION)

PREAMBLE: you all may know my hit fanfiction on the ao3.... but i mentioned in the tags theres an aids edition where practically all the dialogue has their accents completely horrible and inaccurately written out. the very last bits dont have that but its because I was fighting for my life against sickness and the school chromebook to finish the fic when i made it okay shit happened. ill link the ao3 version thats #normal and what you should read if ur gunna read this shit. but for the robootyling that begged me on mai blog to post the aids edition.... this is for you ❤️

LINK TO NORMAL ONE

PREAMBLE OVER. SEX COMMENCE!!!!!

Germany nervously thumbed the note cards in his hands as he awaited Italy's arrival. The man blushed as he skimmed over the contents he had copied down from The Beginner’s Guide To Sex For the Hard-Hearted German on said pieces of paper the night earlier. He shifted the note cards to face more inwards towards himself, despite the fact he was alone in the hotel room. And also that if anyone even were to steal the note cards it would take them at least five minutes to decipher what was written down in his microscopic neat handwriting. Nervously, he fiddled with the edge of the ski mask on his face.

Yes, he had a ski mask on his head for the past twenty minutes. Germany had realized that even thinking about the event to come made his entire face flush a noticeable red. He couldn’t even imagine how blushed he’d look during the actual activity itself and decided that sort of thing was much too shameful to show Italy, so he found a solution. Wearing a ski mask on his face would be the perfect fix to make sure his lover wouldn’t see all the blood in his body rushing to his head when it’s supposed to be going to his… vital regions.

He also realized that he would probably make all sorts of embarrassing sounds and maybe even get so overwhelmed he’d attack Italy by instinct once they got down to business. So to combat this he also procured a duffle bag that sat next to the bed with duct tape, rope, and a knife to cut both items with. The duct tape would be perfect to put over his mouth to make sure any strange sounds he would make would become inaudible, and the rope could be used if he felt that he might need to be restrained to protect his husband.

He also had a yak tranquilizer in there too.

Just in case y’know?

Sure it may be a bit strange, but Italy probably wouldn’t even find it noticeable after listening to Germany’s explanation and adjusting to it all. At least that’s what Austria said when he consulted him on the matter. Apparently he and Hungary did that sort of thing all the time or something.

The blonde country sighed as he tucked the notecards into his pocket and fiddled with his hands while listening to the clock tick by. He suddenly focused his eyes on said clock and squinted.

“Vait. Vat ze hell?,” he thought, “Zat clock iz vun quarter of unt second off! I must fix it!”

The country quickly stood up from where he was sitting at the edge of the bed and brought the clock down into his hands as started to tinker with it. He had momentarily worried about Italy arriving while he was adjusting the clock, but decided that it would be fine, he needed something to get his mind off of what they would be doing together once his husband arrived. Instead he decided to recount what had happened to bring him to the hotel room in the first place.

It all started two weeks prior on Germany and Italy’s anniversary. The German had as always agonizingly created a meticulous plan for Italy to ruin immediately. Although this year had been a surprise since the brunette ruined Germany’s plans not by his usual antics like flashing his dick in a restaurant and getting them kicked out or getting distracted by street cats a few too many times, rather he’d told Germany that he made their plans all by himself for a change.

Now Germany could have told Italy that he spent weeks creating the itinerary for the day already and would receive nothing but understanding sprinkled with bits of praise from the Italian for always being so prepared. But the moment he saw the earnest look in his husband’s eyes that showed he really did try his best making the plans for a change this time, all notions of following through with the reservations he had made flew out the window.

It was fine, sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the greater good, especially the greatest good which was accepting Italy’s displays of affections. No matter how frustrating or unpleasant or downright humiliating they could be at times. Besides, few canceled reservations was still infinitely better than the time the brunette uploaded on his official country of Italy account a post captioned “pasta in the shape of Germany’s anatomy” with a rather… uncouth, but delicious looking picture attached. Not to mention how Italy later begged the referenced country to reblog the photo onto his own official country account.

He did reblog it of course.

Anyways, Germany was rather excited to see what Italy had in store for him. Even though he knew the plans would not be as elaborate or well thought out as his own usually are, he still highly anticipated seeing what his husband prepared for him.

But how was he supposed to expect that after a day of a surprisingly well thought out and romantic anniversary date that the Italian planned to bed him?!

Like seriously! He had already mentally prepared himself for kissing and hand holding and possibly even a heavy make out session before snuggling in bed– but definitely not going all the way! Sure it might have been because it was specifically their hundredth anniversary they were celebrating, but that still is moving a bit fast isn’t it!?

The worst part was that the way the German realized that his husband wanted to have s… se…

…coitus. With Him.

Was when during their make out session the Italian palmed his lover’s dick firmly in his hand through the man’s pants only for Germany to suddenly suplex him out of sheer battle instincts.

The taller man quickly snapped out of it and helped Italy up before grabbing an ice pack from his fridge for his head. Forgetting completely about Italy copping a feel after effectively giving his husband a concussion on their anniversary night, he apologized profusely for the wrestling move as he asked if he was alright. The brunette was only slightly dazed since his brain was already so damaged that a hit like that barely did any harm to him at all. Yet he still stayed silent and kept his head lowered as tears began to pool into his eyes.

Germany started to panic, but before he could get a word out the shorter man lifted his head to make eye contact with him and asked with the seriousness of a man on death row, “Germany. Am I-a rizzless?”

The German did not know how to respond to that. He merely gaped at him for a moment before sputtering out, “V-Vhat are you talking avout? Of courze you have rizz!”

Italy bore his gaze into his lover’s eyes. “Then why… why…,” he trailed off.

“Why vhat?,” Germany asked, panic now replaced with confusion since he now knew the Italian wasn’t badly hurt.

Italy trembled as he brought his head back down before surging upwards and yelling at Germany with a hint of desperation, “WHY HAVE WE-A NEVA BANGED?! I KNOW YOU’RE NOT TE ASEXUAL JAHMANY! I’VE SEEN HOW YOU CUT OUT-A PICTURES OF MAH HEAD AND PASTE IT ONTO THE BOHDIES OF ALL THE PEOPLES IN YOUR PORN MAGAZINES! AM I-A JUST NOT YOUR BODY TYPE? ARE ANEMIC BOYS LIKE SWEETZERLAND MORE YOUR-A STYLE?”

Meanwhile, in a house far away from the two other countries, Switzerland sneezed.

“VHAT!?,” yelled the German, leaning back from his lover’s outburst, “VHAT ARE YOU TALKING AVOUT ITALY?!”

“ONE HUNDRED YEARS WE’VE-A BEEN MARRIED AND NEVER ONCE HAVE YOU EXPLAINED WHY WE DON’T GO PAST KISSING! AN ITALIAN LIKE-A ME CAN ONLY GO SO LONG WITHOUT ANY-A ACTION! I USED TO HAVE AT LEAST THREE GIRLS-A NIGHT! NOW I’VE BEEN OVER A HUNDRED YEARS ABSTINENT,“ Italy cried as he threw himself into Germany’s arms, “do you know how-a bad that is for someone like-a me? My soul is degrading Jahmany. MY SOUL! Is it-a because you don’t like my body? You told-a me about how you think of-a me during your monthly scheduled jack off sessions! Just tell-a me why Jahmany– why!”

Germany was stunned beyond words. Italy’s indecipherable speech was something that the man had become fluent in for years, but the Italian had spoken so quickly and frantically that even he had to take a moment to process what exactly had just spat out at him at rapid fire.

As the man fully processed what his husband rambled out a flush rose up his neck to the top of his head. He looked down at the teary eyed brunette snuggled in his chest and quickly proceeded with damage control.

“n-NO! Italy it’z not like zat at all!,” he quickly reassured, “u-uhm I love your body! It’s not displeazing to me at all! I especially vike how your torso haz vun arm on each side! And-and how ven you open your eyez I can see your vhites in zem! The reason we haven’t… done things… like zat yet is uhm… vell I haven’t exactly zhought ve’d be doing zhose activities anytime soon…”

He paused as he downcast his eyes, looking away from the brunette for a moment.

Before he decidedly gave out a long exhale and mumbled under his breath, “vut it’z not vike I don't VANT to…”

The Italian abruptly paused secretly motorboating Germany’s tits once he heard the man’s barely audible confession. In an instant, his tears receded into his eyes (in a very frankly disturbing manner, since tears should not be able to do that; you know how Hetalia’s animation budget gets sometimes) and he immediately looked up towards his lover as he broke into an excited grin.

“REALLY JAHMANY?! FOR-A REAL-SIES?!,” Italy shouted as he lunged towards the German’s face, “YOU WANNA █████████████████████ AND THEN ████████████████ TO YOUR-A █████████████ SO I ████████████████████████ THEN I █████████ ALL-A OVER YOU AND DON’T STOP EVEN WHEN YOU █████████ AND THEN-A WE BOTH █████████████████████████████!!!!!!”

Germany snapped his eyes back to look at the Italian as he sputtered from all the profane and lewd things his husband had just shoved into his mind to imagine. He could feel his head steaming as he made a few choked noises trying to figure out how to begin to respond to something like that until he finally gave up. He sighed in defeat before he averted his gaze again and hesitantly mumbled, “Ja.”

Italy immediately glomped the man as hard as he could, making Germany fall backwards slightly as he let out a startled yelp.

“OH JAHMANY I’M-A SO HAPPY! YOU’LL REALLY LIKE SEX JAHMANY I-A KNOW YOU WILL I’M REALLY REALLY REALLLYY GOOD AT IT! I-A MAY NOT BE ABLE TO FIGHT FOR SHIT BUT I-A DO KNOW MY WAY AROUND-A PERSON’S ASSHOLE! OR WELL– A PRETTY LADY’S ASSHOLE, BUT YOU’RE A PRETTY MAN AND-A EVERYONE HAS AN ASSHOLE SO I’M SURE IT’S-A BASICALLY THE SAME! I’M SO SO GLAD JAHMANY! I’M-A SO GLAD YOU DO WANT TO BANG AND I’M-A SO GLAD MY BEAUTIFUL BODY IS-A NOT JUST IRRESISTIBLE TO EVERY-A WOMAN ON PLANET EARTH, BUT ALSO IRRESISTIBLE TO YOU TOO!,” he excitedly rambled into his husband's ear, “EVEN WITH MY-A WEIRD PENIS!”

Germany instinctually reciprocated the hug and patted Italy’s back as his head tilted downwards into the other man’s shoulder.

“Ja Ja. I do,” he muttered with embarrassment tinging his voice, “even vith your… unique penis.”

Italy made a content “ve~” and further snuggled into the German’s hug. A silence stretched as they mutually enjoyed each other's embrace.

That is until Italy grabbed Germany’s balls again and got suplexed immediately.

Italy let out a surprised, “VE-” and Germany made a panicked noise as he immediately released the other man and picked him up to sit him down in his previous spot. The taller man fumbled to grab the previously discarded ice pack while his husband sat dazed for slightly longer than after the first suplex. He still came back to his senses astonishingly quickly though, since getting multiple concussions in one day was just another Tuesday for the Italian.

This time though, the blonde was the first one to speak.

“VAT ZE HELL VAS ZAT?!,” he angrily scolded, “VHY DID YOU DO ZAT?? I SUPLEXED YOU LITERALLY TWO MINUTES AGO FOR TOUCHING MEIN DEUTSCH BALLS!”

Italy let out a confused ve as Germany rubbed his head on the spot that hit the ground.

“B-but I-a thought you said you WANTED to-a get-a down and dahty with me Jahmany.”

“J-Ja I do!,” the German replied as he quickened the pace of his rubbing to distract himself from his rising embarrassment, “vut obviously I need unt time to prepare!”

He paused in contemplation for a moment.

“Vun month should be sufficient, " he concluded.

“VE?!” Italy yelled as he shot up out of the man’s hold, “DEADASS??”

Germany startled backwards from the outburst and replied in an agitated tone, “Yes “deadass”! How do you expvect me to read unt annotate ze whole Guide to Sex for Ze Hard Hearted German series in less time zan zat? Zere’s five books to study and-”

Germany was cut off by the shorter man putting his hands on his shoulders with a face that could only be described as radiating the sentiment of “this faggot cannot be serious right now”.

“Jahmany. Jahmany. Amore mio. Listen to me,” He gritted out as he opened his eyes, “You do not need to read five books to prepare for sex.”

Germany gaped at him for a moment, not because he opened his eyes while saying his statement, but because while saying it Italy had dropped his accent out of sheer exasperation.

“Vut… Vut what if I do it badly?,” he hesitantly protested, all the fight draining out of him after hearing his husband get so tired of his shit he became normal.

Italy continued to stare him directly into his eyes with an alarming seriousness, “Germany. You will not do badly. There is no conceivable way for you to disappoint me. I have jerked off to you twice a day for the past hundred years without fail– yes, even while I had pneumonia that one time. I’ve imagined literally every scenario possible with you. In fact there is no scenario I’ve imagined with you that I didn’t like at least a little bit too. There’s no physically possible way for me to not like banging you.”

Germany’s blush deepened as he listened to the brunette’s confession, his embarrassment only amplified from being pinned down by the other’s intense stare. He instinctually averted his eyes while he hung his head in a bit of shame as he started realizing maybe he was being the ridiculous one here.

The Italian’s eyes softened as they slipped back closed and he cupped his husband’s cheek into his hand to bring his face back to his own, “But you-a know that if you-a really are uncomfortable or scared or-a anything at all we don’t-a have to have sex okay?,” he began stroking his cheek gently with his thumb, “I-a just want you to-a know that there’s no part of me that doesn’t desire you. It’s-a completely okay if you don’t-a want to do that-a sort-a of thing now or even ever. Even if we-a start and you don’t-a want to keep-a going suddenly then-a we-a can stop anytime. I just know how-a shy you can be about things and how you sometimes worry about-a me too much, so I need-a to push you to let-a you-a know you shouldn’t be worried about-a my end.”

The blonde brought his hand up to Italy’s wrist that was holding his face and forced his eyes back to his lover’s face. Furrowing his brow a little bit from fighting against his instincts to look away again, he responded, “Vell… if you really are svure you are fine vith me being less zan properly prepared… ven I zink ve could arrange somevhing next veek…”

The shorter man brought his face closer to Germany’s, “Are you really sure?”

“Ja,” the German replied, fighting for his life against his embarrassment and autism to maintain eye contact.

Feeling his nerves about to get the best of him, he moved his head back and closed his eyes while he quickly added, “vut not ze ██████████████ und ze █████████████ and also ze ███████████!”

He turned his face away as he muttered, “At least not for now… Zat’s vay too much for ze firvst time! And also ESPECIALLY not ze ███████████ too okay?!”

Italy had proceeded to pull him into a kiss and murmured something about how cute he was as he decided to continue what they left off at in their make-out session twenty minutes ago.

Afterwards while cuddling they both agreed to book a hotel room the next Saturday for their highly anticipated activities together and thus, led Germany to where he was now. Now having finished fixing and placing back the clock, he occupied himself by rummaging through the various items in the cabinets to see where the hotel bible was to read a few verses from it.

He was snapped out of his focus when suddenly, he heard a shriek from behind him and swiftly turned towards the source of the sound.

There he saw a teary eyed Italy quite literally shaking in his boots.

“AHHHHH!!!!! INTRUDER ALERT INTRUDER ALERT WHERES-A GERMANY?!,” Italy screamed as his eyes darted around the room and caught on the open duffle bag, seeing the tape and rope within it, “OH-A MY GOD HE’S TRYING TO-A HARVEST OUR ORGANS OR-A SELL US ON THE-A BLACK MARKET AHHHHHH!!! WHAT HAVE YOU-A DONE TO-A JAHMANY?!”

Germany, realizing that Italy could not recognize him with his ski mask on, quickly strode over to the man to reassure him that there was no intruder that was trying to hate crime them. Unfortunately in his panic it did not occur to him to remove his mask making the Italian only freak out harder.

The brunette immediately made a move to bolt away once he saw the other man start striding towards him, but was caught in the intruder’s arms and struggled to get away as if he was going to be forced to pay his bill at a restaurant. After about five seconds he gave up and pulled out two white flags seemingly out of nowhere and got to doing what he does best, acting like a total pussy.

“PLEASE-A LET ME GO YOU WON’T-A LIKE-A MY ORGANS–THEY’RE FULL OF-A PASTA AND WINE AND JAHMANY’S NASTY WAR BREAD WHICH IS-A CALLED STOLLEN BUT-A DON’T TELL HIM-A THAT I-A CALLED IT THAT BECAUSE I-A LIED AND TOLD HIM I-A LOVED IT WHEN IT-A TASTED REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD– LIKE SUPER DUPER BAD IT-A WAS HARD AND HAD-A NASTY DRIED FRUITS IN IT BUT I-A COULDN’T BREAK HIS HEART AND-A TELL HIM THAT AND ENDED UP HAVING TO-A EAT A WHOLE LOT OF IT– THE THINGS I-A DO FOR LOVE AM I-A RIGHT? SEE I’VE-A HAD A HARD LIFE Y’KNOW SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON’T HURT MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!,” he rambled while waving his white flags furiously.

Italy felt the grip on him soften as the masked man deflated and in a broken hearted voice said, “Italy… you lied avout viking mein schtollen? Vhy… Vhy did you lie to me…”

“G-germany?,” Italy asked himself as he dropped his white flags to take off the man’s mask, revealing a disillusioned Germany.

He made a startled yell of surprise realizing what he just confessed to the man.

“I-I DIDN’T-A MEAN IT IN THAT-A WAY JAHMANY!!,” he tried to reassure, “YOU-A KNOW I SAY SOME CRAZY THINGS WHEN I’M IN-A TROUBLE–”

He saw that his words were having no impact on his lover’s deflated mood and quickly changed the subject, “UHM! ANYWAYS– I’M-A REALLY GLAD YOU’RE NOT-A SCARY INTRUDER JAHMANY AND YOU DIDN’T-A GET CUT OPEN OR-A SOLD ON THE BLACK MARKET!”

Italy continued rambling about how happy he was that neither of them were going to become meat pies as he untangled himself from Germany's hold and took him by the hand back into the hotel room. He closed the door behind them and led them to the bed.

“Why were you-a wearing such-a scary thing anyways Jahmany?,” Italy asked while holding the ski mask out in front of him as they sat down on the mattress, “and what’s with all the stuff in the duffle bag? I-a thought you didn’t-a want to do anything kinky this-a time?”

Germany, having already forgiven Italy as usual, explained in an increasingly flustered manner his reasoning for the mask and the items in his bag, especially the yak tranquilizer. As the explanation went on Italy’s face went from confused into falling in a grimace-like smile.

“... so zats vhy I prepared all zese zings. Again, I’m sorry vor startling you earlier,” the taller man concluded. He reached to take the ski mask back only for it to be jerked away from him by the Italian.

“Jahmany,” Italy started with tight smile, “thank you for all-a these-a wonderful preparations. But I-a think we won’t-a need these things at-a all. Especially not-a the ski mask. Just-a trust me okay?”

The blonde knit his brows togethers in confusion thinking that Italy surely should have understood why his preparations were needed after his thirty minute explanation. Well, in daily life Italy did have trouble following a line of logic in general so it isn’t too surprising that he was struggling to become agreeable now too.

“Let me explain it to you again zen Italy, so-,” Germany started only to be cut off from Italy lunging himself on top of him, effectively pinning him to the bed kabedon style.

There was no fucking way Italy was going to listen to that thirty minute schpiel again. It was already 10 PM at night and he knew Germany was going to make them get up at 5 AM the next morning to run a few laps to satisfy his autistic need for schedule. He had to get things moving or else he’d be dead in the water with no sleep and no Germussy.

The brunette brought his face close to his lover’s ear and he whispered, “Jahmany, you know I find that-a worrywort side of you-a cute too, but right-a now let me take-a the lead alright?”

For emphasis he proceeded to place a chaste kiss on the back of his husband’s jaw.

Germany’s ears began to burn from the blood rushing to them. In all these years he never could get used to the feeling of the Italian’s lips on his skin. He fumbled trying to formulate a proper response to the man’s compliment and interruption, ending up uttering out, “Ja– y-you too.”

Italy took this as his greenlight to start attacking the man’s face with his own.

Before Germany could overthink about his failure of a response, he felt his husband’s lips press firmly to his.

The shorter man laced their fingers together as he pinned the German’s hands above his head on the bed. Knowing his lover was the type who would always forget to breathe through his nose (it was alright, at least he finally stopped keeping his eyes open while smooching), he broke the kiss before diving back down with more fervor. He swiped his tongue against the bottom lip of the man below him, asking for permission to enter his mouth. As always, his husband obliged and parted his lips modestly.

Germany always thought that feeling a tongue explore his mouth felt a bit weird at first. And in general the act was pretty unsanitary which wasn’t very pleasant either. But when he thought about how the kind of strange tasting tongue in his mouth was his beloved Italy’s, that alone was enough to make the experience enjoyable and start getting him heated up.

The blonde let out a few embarrassed sounds as Italy hummed in content against him before pulling away to see how the other was faring.

He was moving faster than usual since they had bigger fish to fry soon, but was pleased to see that the man below him was doing pretty well. Germany’s face was tickled pink as he panted heavily from, as usual, not breathing through his nose at all. He looked up at Italy in expectation as he unconsciously pursed his lips a bit in an attempt to get rid of the excessive saliva on the corner of his mouth.

The Italian, in an act of true chivalry, kissed the corner of his husband’s mouth to get rid of the excess spit and then began to trail kisses down his jaw and to the wide expanse of his neck.

Instinctually, the taller man craned his neck to give his lover a better angle to nip and nibble at him, but also gave a small protest of surprise, “vait Italy– usually ve–ah! Spend m-more time… mm… k-kissing don’t ve?”

The man paused his assault and lifted his head from the crook of the blonde’s neck.

“Well we have-a lot of-a things to do Jahmany! This-a time kissing isn’t our-a main-a course after all,” Italy replied, soaking in his husband’s flustered disposition to stop himself from diving back in to continue eating away at him.

“Zat iz true… but uhm…,” Germany averted his gaze and mumbled, “kissing iz mein favorite part… so uhm.. c-could we– do that a little more..”

Italy, in all honesty, had never been more aroused in his entire life.

Germany always had a habit of being overly considerate in their relationship in general and the Italian knew that when he didn’t ask for something it wasn’t that he didn’t care, it was just that he didn’t want to be pushy. Especially when it came to romance. So to hear him meekly request for something as sweet as a few more kisses– how could he deny him?

Italy smiled and let go of the blonde’s hands to cup his face and neck as he sweetly maneuvered his mouth to other’s for a little while longer. During which Germany found his arms settling wrapped around his lover’s torso.

As Italy pulled away he brought himself back to the man’s neck and reassured him, “don’t-a worry Jahmany, we’ll still be able to kiss-a later too,” finishing his statement with a chaste kiss behind his ear.

Germany only hugged his lover tighter as Italy resumed sucking dark hickies into his pale skin. He let out little yelps every time the brunette bit down on him and whimpered as the man licked away the marks apologetically afterwards.

“Ah—ah, Italien…,” the German mewled, into the crook of the brunette’s neck, “I- mm… I love you…”

“I-a love you too Germania,” the shorter man breathed into the other man’s skin only to feel him immediately tense up.

Germany swiftly moved his hands to his husband’s shoulder and pushed him away to make eye contact in a deathly serious fashion.

“Italy,” he said while looking him dead in the eye, “do not call me Germania.”

The Italian was startled by such a reaction and blurted out, “wh– why?” with an incredulous look on his face.

“That’s the name of my grandfather.”

Fuck.

Both men did not know how to proceed with their intimate moment together after an interruption like that.

Luckily, before Italy could make a stupid joke that would inevitably downward spiral into them sleeping in bed with awkward half boners together he remembered that in his pocket he had a small charm gifted to him by England. It was given to him as an aid in case something went wrong during his and Germany’s night together. Thank god for him going to England for that fortune telling beforehand!

He immediately pulled out the charm and threw it on the ground before Germany could react and a large poof of smoke surrounded him. As the smoke dissipated he realized he was in the same position he was in before he called his husband by his grandfather’s name.

“Ah—ah Italien…,” the German mewled, into the crook of the brunette’s neck, “I- mm… I love you…”

This time, a much wiser Italy breathed into his skin, “I-a love-a you too Germany” and he felt his lover bury his face deeper into his neck.

Hey guys so this is the part where you read a sex scene written by a guy who has never held hands with someone in his entire life

Through their close embrace, both men could feel the other beginning to harden through their clothes. But this time was different, since for once the two men would be able to do something about their soon to be full mast dicks and that thought alone excited them both further.

Now kissing Germany’s neck less aggressively with only slow, closed mouth presses to his skin, Italy moved his hands and began to unbutton his husband’s collared shirt. He trailed his sappy smooches down to the man’s vast chest that he was oh so familiar with. Shifting his hands to cup the German’s pecs he huffed in displeasure as he felt they were hard and flexed. The brunette rested his face in between his lover’s pecs and looked up at him with the best puppy eyes he could muster.

“Relax for me Jahmany, I-a like them when they’re soft,” he requested, still cupping the hard masses in his palms.

The taller man closed his eyes and muttered out a hesitant, “ja ja” as he willed his muscles to untense. The Italian made a pleased noise as he squished the man’s large pecs in his hands. Truely, a delight better than any girl could provide, he thought to himself.

He experimentally moved his thumbs to push on the other man’s nipples and felt the blonde’s pecs instantly harden once again.

Germany instinctually hugged him much tighter, causing the Italian’s body to press up firmly against his as he let out a surprised “ah!” and inquired, “V-Vhat do you zink you’re doing” through squinted eyes.

“I’m-a playing with your chest Jahmany,” the Italian replied in a cheeky tone, as he proceeded to continue gently messing around with his husband’s pink nubs.

“Ja… vut– nngh you’ve never done somezing vike– ah- zhis b—before,”

“Do you-a like it?”

“It- mmm feels… vierd.. I don’t know if– if it’z ze good… vierd,” the German replied, scrunching together his brows as he consciously loosened his grip on his lover to make sure to not hurt him.

Italy hummed in acknowledgement. It didn’t appear that his lover’s boner was getting any stiffer as he continued playing with his chest. So after a few moments he decided to hell with it and asked, “how does-a this feel then?” before he proceeded to roughly grind his thigh directly into Germany’s crotch.

He instantly felt his husband’s thighs squeeze around his leg as the German threw his head back; hand clamping over his own mouth to suppress the moan that erupted from him. His back arched as his body shuddered. Italy was momentarily concerned that his lover just prematurely ejaculated, but also thought to himself that it would still be kinda cute if he did. Luckily, he knew the man didn’t as he felt Germany unconsciously rock himself slightly against his thigh, searching for more pleasure.

The blonde reached down to grab at Italy’s thigh between his legs before jerking his hand away and choosing to modestly grip at the sheets near their lower regions instead.

“I–ah I vike it–,” he stuttered as he brought his head back forward to face the Italian, face burning red and eyes tightly shut, “I–I vike it down zhere, ah–”

Well then. If the man says he likes it down there then Italy supposes he could sacrifice the rest of the boobies time to indulge him.

Nevermind how Italy could physically feel the blood in his body rushing towards his vital regions after seeing a reaction like that.

The shorter man continued unbuttoning the rest of his husband’s shirt as he trailed kisses down his torso, slowly grinding his leg into the man’s crotch to keep him from becoming impatient. Germany gripped the sheets tighter as he let out a string of “ah”s with every rocking motion. Unconsciously, he tried to speed up the pace, but Italy held his hips firmly in place.

Once the Italian had finished releasing the bottom and final button of the other man’s shirt, he quickly unbuckled his lover’s belt as well and stripped the man of his pants and underwear in one go. Germany let out a squeak in surprise and wanted to kill himself for making such a shameful sound. That was until he felt the cool air hit his now fully hardened dick and realized Italy was staring right at it, now he wanted to double kill himself.

“D—don’t just stare right at it!,” he scolded while curling his legs inwards and covering said regions with both hands.

The brunette let out a confused ve, “ehhhh? why? I-a literally stare directly at it every time we-a go to the public baths with Japan. I already-a know what you’re-a packing”.

“That’s true but!-- Right now ze situation iz all different okay?!,” The German protested, “It’z not ze same vhen I know you actually vant to get— erm– i-intimate vith me!! Just vike how zis is different than all zhose times you made me zit next to you vhile you masturbated at night because you vere scared of ze dark! It’z not vike you vere masturbating thinking of ME!”

Italy decided to refrain mentioning how all those times he WAS masturbating thinking about Germany actually. The entire masturbating “scared of the dark” thing was an Italian way of flirting even, but that would be an explanation for another time. Instead he bent down and gently pried back open the blonde’s legs causing the blonde to let out another “eep” in protest.

“But you’re so pretty Germany,” he replied, pushing his lover back down with his hand as the other caressed the man’s thigh, “can’t I have a looksie at my husband?”

He didn’t dare let out the urge he felt to giggle when he saw Germany’s hard on twitch a little at the praise. The blonde didn’t respond verbally, but allowed his lover to continue his ministrations with no resistance as he buried his face into the pillow next to him to hide his shame.

He’s so easy, it’s adorable. Italy thought to himself.

He continued to massage out little whimpers as he caressed the man’s legs while unbuttoning his own shirt. He decided that tonight he wouldn’t force Germany to strip him back. Since even as adorable as it would be to see his husband awkwardly fumble with his clothing and somehow turn even more flustered from being teased, he himself was getting a little impatient and wanted to get to sloppy sex already.

He briefly stopped his ministrations for a moment to peel the shirt off himself and toss it to the side. Despite how much he wished he could see the blonde’s expression right now, he was a little grateful that the man still had his face buried in the pillow next to him, since half of him was worried that he would make Italy pause and fold his shirt if he saw him throw it to the side.

Germany lifted his head from the pillow after noticing that the massaging had come to a stop only to throw it back once again with an arched back when Italy began nipping at his inner thighs.

The blonde yelped and clenched the bed sheets beside him as he felt his husband wrap his hands around his cock, whispering sweet nothings into his soft flesh, “ha–AH!-”

“Ah— ahn– neughh–,” he moaned ungracefully as he felt the Italian play with the tip a bit with his thumb.

“Mio prezioso, are you-a ready to have your first blowjob?,” Italy asked as he kept the German’s legs spread with one hand while bringing his face closer to the member in his other palm.

Unfortunately, he never made contact. Right before his mouth touched the tip he heard Germany let out a high pitched cry and the penis in front of him sprayed him directly in the face with semen.

Both men went still for a moment, until Italy brought his fingers to his face and then brought them to his mouth to have a taste of the sticky white substance.

Watching Italy begin to taste his cum snapped Germany out of his trance and he immediately wretched the brunette's hand away from his mouth yelling, “ITALY DO NOT EAT ZAT!!!”

The Italian pulled his hand back, “no, no wait-a minute Jahmany.”

He scooped some more onto his index finger and placed it in his mouth for a moment, really contemplating the flavor this time. “Hey this actually tastes-a pretty good! Like not-a spread it on your toast everyday level-a good, but better than those-a nasty sausages you-a gave me that one time we pinky promised to be-a best friends forever! Do you think it’s-a because we’re countries?”

Germany was about to ask Italy what the hell was wrong with him until the weight of how he just not only prematurely ejaculated, but also prematurely ejaculated all over his husband’s face set in.

Oh mein gott what is wrong with ME? He thought to himself as a horrified expression crept in his features.

Italy, sensing the blonde’s mood change quickly grabbed his wrists before he could put his hands on his face and go full “I wish I was never born” on him.

“Hey-hey Jahmany! Don’t-a worry about creaming on-a my face! You know I honestly kinda like it–I just-a told you that you taste like-a solid 6/10 yummy!,” Italy rambled out, jerking the other man’s wrists around in lue of his usual hand gestures, “And it’s-a fine that you finished-a teensy bit early! It’s-a your first time you know? If-a anything, honestly I think it’s-a really cute! Lookit me I’m-a even harder than before!”

He looked down at his own tented pants to encourage his husband to do the same. In his peripheral vision he spotted a wonderful sight though.

His eyes trailed over to Germany’s penis that was still erect as ever, even after finishing once.

Germany had told him before that he could schedule his monthly masturbation time block since he knew that he was only physically capable of finishing one time. Despite being one of the youngest countries, he had the stamina of a grandfather and told the shorter man that it was simply impossible for him to do more than one round.

Italy knew his husband was not the type who would lie to him, so him still being erect in the current moment must be a very new and unexpected development. That much he could conclude from how also Germany seemed just as shocked as he was about his little guy still fighting strong.

In his head, the brunette gave a prayer thanking God for always being so gracious to him and promising to start attending church again. Once he finished he lunged back on top of the taller man, knocking him back over and under him and whispered in his ear, “Jahmany, if it’s-a okay with you, do you-a mind letting me-a take care of that for you?”

Still reeling from the mountains of shame he felt for finishing too quickly earlier he protested, “nein! V–vhat about yourself?! If anyzing I should be ze one taking care of you!”

He internally cursed himself for not studying the book series harder. He would say to hell with it and try taking the wheel, but flashbacks of buon san valentino flashed in his mind and he lost all confidence in himself. One book studied was not enough for then, so only one book studied for now definitely wouldn’t be enough to maneuver through this.

Italy felt his heart squeeze a little and kissed Germany’s cheek as he reassured him, “you’re so sweet mio tesoro. I love that considerate side to you, but don’t worry Jahmany, I’ll take care of both of us this time.”

“V-vut–”

“Trust me,” The Italian requested as he pulled himself up and grabbed a bottle of lube from the bedside counter, “what I-a have in mind will-a definately feel good for-a both of us thanks to-a my technique.”

The German watched as his husband poured a generous amount of the substance on his fingers, fully realizing what the man was alluding to.

“Now-a my Germany, will you-a spread your legs for me please?,” the shorter man asked with a smile.

The taller man felt his face begin to steam again and coyly opened his legs. He glanced back and forth between his lover and the wall until he closed his eyes and muttered, “be gentle… okay?”

Italy almost couldn’t contain himself from how cute his husband could be. He circled his middle finger around the rim of the blonde’s hole as he leaned over to his face and planted a gentle kiss. He reassured him, “don’t worry, just tell me if somethings wrong” as he slowly plunged the finger inside of him.

The taller man squirmed in discomfort and the Italian planted gentle kisses along his neck to soothe him.

“Is it-a alright? How does it-a feel?”

“It’z… vierd… it doesn’t hurt zhough…mmnn.. you can move…”

Gently as promised, Italy slowly plunged in and out with his lubed up middle finger, feeling the warm interiors of his husband. Soft squelches resonated within the room.

“...Italy… I zink I’m ready for anothzer vun…,” Germany mumbled as he became used to the intrusion.

He only squirmed a little bit when the second finger entered him. This time he quickly found himself becoming accustomed to the sensation and asked for another. He was about to mentally congratulate himself for adapting so quickly, but stopped himself once he realized he was about to feel proud of being able to get used to being fingered quickly.

The blonde felt a slight burn when the third heavily lubed finger entered him and let out a small, “ah—ah-”. He wrapped his arms around his husband and whined into his neck. Italy gently shushed him and continued soothing him with kisses and praise as he carefully stretched the German open.

He gently scissored the man’s hole as he went in and out, searching for his lover’s prostate.

Germany in all honesty was getting a bit tired, since the sensation wasn’t exactly unpleasant, but it didn’t really feel good either. He had practiced on his own before for Italy, but he couldn’t figure out how to make it feel like much else than just fingers in his ass. Plus the rim of his hole was starting to burn from the fingers going in and out. But it did feel good to know that Italy was going to feel really good soon, and that part did keep him turned on and hard.

Suddenly, Italy’s fingers touched a certain spot and he felt as though a flash of lightning struck through him. He let out a loud moan as he white knuckled the sheets and forced his legs not to clench together.

Italy’s face lit up and he happily cheered, “Jahmany! Jahmany I finally found your prostate! I bet that-a felt really good didn’t it!!” He removed his fingers with a shlick and poured a generous amount of lube on his own dick that was now so hard it was almost painful.

“J… Ja.. zat did feel good,” Germany uttered in response, feeling a bit empty without the fingers.

“I’m glad Jahmany! After all, I want-a this to feel good for you too.”

The shorter man lined himself up against his husband’s hole and leaned the rest of his body down to meet their faces together.

“Jahmany, are you-a ready?”

“J—Ja, I trust you Italien,” Germany replied, meeting his eyes to show that he was serious with no doubts.

Italy smiled and leaned down to sweetly kiss the man below him as he slowly entered.

Germany wrapped his arms tighter around Italy as he carefully went deeper and deeper, a low burn growing from the intrusion. The blonde let out little “ah”s as Italy reminded him to relax and soothed him by running his hands down the man’s sides until he was fully inside him.

They paused for a moment to let the taller man adjust a bit to the member stuck inside him.

After a minute or so of Germany squirming and Italy fighting for his life not to bust a nut instantly, the taller man muttered, “I’m okay now… you can move Italy.”

Italy grit his eyes closed as he slowly moved in and out. Germany was tight– freaking too tight even– holy shit. Italy thought about making a joke about how he didn’t expect to get circumcised this way, but held himself back knowing it would ruin the mood. Instead he whispered in his husband’s ear, “Cuore mio, relax for me. It's alright, you can do this, just relax.”

“Of.. of course Italy”

He felt the taller man bury his face into the brunette’s neck as he slowly softened around him, still on the tight side, but at least it wasn’t a gorilla grip anymore.

Italy set back on his steady, slow pace. Each thrust eliciting a little moan from the man beneath him. He kept at it for a bit, trying to figure out what angle to thrust at to hit the man’s prostate once again until he did a thrust and felt the blonde clench harshly around him, arching his back as he did so.

Now having confidence in knowing where to hit, he quickened his pace and aimed towards that same spot. “You’re so good for me Germany, you know that?”

Germany’s face steamed even hotter somehow. “Ah, Italien— ah— mmm— mmmphh–,” he covered his mouth to muffle his moans that came spilling out uncontrollably.

“Jahmany don’t deprive me, I want to hear all the cute sounds you make,” Italy panted as he snatched the German’s hands away from his mouth.

“Good boy, good boy.”

He kissed the man once again as he continued to pick up the pace, whispering sweet words of praise into his husband’s ear.

The taller man whimpered and tears pricked his eyes as he arched his back. The Italian moved his hands to the German’s hips to get better leverage, while his husband hugged his legs and arms around Italy.

“Ah, ah, I love you– I love you Italy–,” Germany babbled into Italy’s shoulder, “I-I really love you– Ich liebe d—dich!-”

The shorter man knew his lover liked kissing best, but how could he expect Italy to kiss him when he kept saying these kinds of cute things when he didn’t?

“Anch'io ti amo Jahmany– ti amo tanto!,” he replied, feeling himself hitting the edge soon.

He needed to wrap things up soon, so he let go of his husband’s hip with the hand still slippery from lube and used that to start stroking the blonde’s cock vigorously.

“Ah– AH! Nuugh– that– that feels— Ah! r—really.. G-good—,” Germany mewled, “I– I feel —Ah, ah, s-something— build.. ngh— ing up–! I— ah– Ah– I think–”

“Do you– you hah— think you’re going to come?”

Italy picked up his pace, both stroking his dick and slamming into him.

“Then come for me Germany”

Germany spasmed and let out a broken string of moans as he came. He hugged Italy tight and the brunette could feel his walls clenching around him, bringing the shorter man over the brink as well with a loud groan.

He pumped into the man below him a few more times, riding out his orgasm as Germany whimpered from becoming a little overstimulated.

He pulled out slowly, before collapsing on top of his lover and instinctually burying his face into the man’s tits.

Both of them lay panting for a moment, as Italy maneuvered himself to lay next to his lover, and gathered him up in a hug that Germany weakly reciprocated.

“Well, Germany, what did you think of your first time having sex?,” Italy inquired.

Germany, now becoming fully lucid again, first realized how sweaty and sticky he felt, thus he replied, “Sticky.”

He thought for a little bit longer.

“But I also admit it was good. Even if I acted a bit shamefully…,” he lowered his eyes and averted his gaze.

Italy laughed and only hugged his husband tighter.

The blonde felt discomfort from the two warm and sweaty bodies pressing up against each other even closer, but nevertheless hugged his lover back because even though his body felt warm, his heart felt warm too. His body also felt kinda sore. Maybe even a lot sore. Actually he might have to rethink his 5 AM jogging laps with the condition his body was currently in.

But that was still fine too, since he probably would’ve only done a quarter of his laps anyways since Italy would be with him and get distracted by a cat or something.

For now, he settled with snuggling into Italy’s arms and began to doze off to sleep, exhausted from their activities.

That is until he felt the Italian bolt up after five minutes and shake his shoulder asking, “hey Germany wanna go for round two?”

#-fic #-germany #-hetalia #-itager #-italy #-yaoi #sorry the sex parts themselves honestly suck ass #i didnt write them good because you can tell i got shy and embarassed #i was too shy. gommene next time ill write them better 🙏

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bulkhummus · 3 years

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Welcome to Night Vale SPOILERS/////

listened to wtnv 171 again and having big thoughts and feelings about a cecils literal manic episode about (literally, heavily implied) killing the version of himself in the mirror while on public radio in light of wtnv 192

some quotes that really got my gears turning regarding the big plot drop of supposedly cecils father and his inability to remember correctly (not new But really prevalent in recent episodes) and im not making connections or anything im just drunk and spitballing and the episode really had some gnarly philosophical questions dinnit?

1. “If you think about a memory long enough, doesn’t that mutate the truth? Isn’t every act of remembering another log on the fire of lies?”

“You think awareness and manifestation are one and the same, don’t you?”

“Could that [a crack] be an egg, or a twig, or a leg? Narrative is everything, isn’t it?”

An unreliable narrative is one of my favorite things in story telling. One of my favorite books has to do with the unreliability of memory, and how a distorted memory (from time, trauma, bias etc) comes to be the most accurate version each time you remember it. It gets watered down each time. I think its cool that Cecil is aware of that, and also that its understandably a huge point of distress for him. He’s constantly misremembering and eventually trying to decipher if what he feels or thinks is even real. Pulling things out of context often makes them seem crazy, when there is no narrative to connect them. Cecil’s job is literally to offer that narrative, but what happens when he can no longer supply a somewhat coherent one? What happens to Night Vale? Why does cat ballou not hold up anymore? also i love that cecil watches the movie on repeat (mentioned at some point) bc its like that thing about people who are anxious like to watch things theyve seen because its low stakes and you know whats gonna happen and you dont have to make space for new story or characters in your head? IMAGINE PUTTING ON YOUR COMFORT MOVIE TO FIND THAT ITS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT???????? ouch

2.“When was the last time you saw your mother?…Did she lean over your sobbing face and ask you: ‘Why are you crying when you don’t even exist?’ Did she tell you again about the mirror?’”

“What unholy monster [the one in the mirror] cries like a child, what does it want—Why won’t it stop?!”

“Did you ponder the idea that such a coat was so basic, [angrily] so unassuming, so without frill or feature that no one had ever thought to create it? [angrily, scarily] Do you want to know what’s in the drawer below the table?”

I like here, that these quotes are kind of like call and response within the episode. Cecil talks of his mother asking him why hes crying, and moments later Cecil wonders why the monster in the mirror is crying. His mother tells him he doesn’t exist (SO fucked up) and moments later he’s the angriest he is the whole episode (voice literally rumbling goddamN BALDWIN) talking about how something could be so unassuming that no one bothered to even spend the time or energy to make it. Didn’t think anybody would need it or want it. Why else would they include that angry thought about being so unneeded that the thought never even crossed a persons mind to make the thing? It it weren’t Cecil talking about himself? Panicking about his existence and if he’d ever been wanted or needed to the point of him being there for whoever does?

2. B —“You didn’t ask for any of this, did you? But what have you ever asked from the universe that you could not get yourself, and when has the universe ever obliged?”

c-carlos? Maybe is that one thing possibly, good, that has simply happened to cecil ??? (And Their SON??? Obviously but that wouldn’t have happened without carlos there) im just thinkin abt it

3. “What was it your mother said before she left home when you were a teenager? Did she tell you she was an oracle?”

CECIL IS AN ORACLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE I wrote a big long rant about wtnv 192 and now I listened to this episode and had a conniption when he mentioned her disdainfully being one. A mother telling a child they know them and who they are can feel like divine truth, and if they call you a monster and tell you that you don’t exist, then is it still divine truth? Is she still all knowing? Do you believe her because shes your mother and mothers know best?

4. Do you notice it wears black rings?”

Cecil says this of the monster in the mirror, and says this about the man digging into the tree in wtnv 192, and he thinks that that man is his father. BUT if the monster in the mirror is the cecil we know, who killed the mirror version of himself from another reality who was a teenager (as it’s been implied since cassettes and the intern anyways) then what does that imply???? oy vey

IN CONCLUSION : none of this is literally an essay about anything. Im just drunk on a sunday and put on night vale To fold clothes. i wonder if other people in night vale are as fragmented by the weird reality bubble they are in as cecil? he seems to be caught in the in between one foot in and out With cal and his father and sometimes knowing carlos and sometimes not and whatnot

ALSO AS A FUNNY SIDE BAR: IMAGINE BEING A PERSON IN NIGHT VALE maybe u just cooked dinner maybe ur taking a drive and the fucking local radio host is just having a manic episode with severe instances of unreality (in every sense of the word) on the radio ?????? i so deeply wish after weird episodes like these where cecil is just balling out in the disassociation soup that in the following episode someone would say something about it in passing like “yeah what WAS that the other night cecil? u know we can hear u when u do that right”

also in the REAL world like our world, cecil is a direct metaphor for ptsd, feelings of unreality brought on by anxiety, period of disassociation and just like the mental state being fragmented by trauma. Its like such a direct metaphor lmao.

also like the episode had everything and Cecil Baldwin really used the full command of his voice. truly bonkers, that he could pack so many different emotions into a 25 min spiraling monologue. it could have been so boring but he really organically (while still imploring Cecil palmers flare for radio host dramatics) had the full decadent range of delicious anger, fear, disdain, apathy, panic, disgust, demand, hollow joy, etc and that he sounds so BITTER at the end when he says “wont you have a good night, night vale?” it feels like such a slap to the listeners face because while we get to end the episode (and the town in the show), cecil palmer continues to writhe in these questions and worries and fears. Like it was SUCH a good way to end it.

—also all the funky sound design is so good and I like then warped version of the main theme! they should do more of that (tastefully)

if you’ve read this far godspeed and keep on trucking idk what the fuck was in that vodka lemonade but im wired

#all of this is MY OPINIONS not facts so dont be mean im just having fun #tell me your thoughts i want OLEASANT DISCOURSE #PLEASANT BEING KEY #Come chat with me about it and also anoht what the FUCK carlos’ role in night vale is and if its really him just being cecils husband #Wtnv #Welcome to night vale #thought tag #Wtnv spoilers

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randomprose · 3 years

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jiang cheng with the junior quartet in which they've outgrown their fear of him and they realized sect leader jiang is just a giant grumpy cat with mother-hen tendencies.

when they night hunt with him occasionally he always has snacks and buys them street food if they finish early. he'll scold them for eating unhealthily but buys them the treats anyway. once, ozz said he's never had zongzi so jc bought them all one each from a stall.

he doesn't even say anything to wen ning anymore. when he sees that the juniors are with him, he just gives an acknowledging nod and a gruff reminder directed at the four of them to don't do anything stupid before going on his way. like he trusts them with him.

but anyway, these juniors start to pester jiang cheng whenever they're in yunmeng and they've somewhat learn how to decipher his scowls and screams from normal fond-bordering-on-affectionate ones to actually angry ones—the latter of which is rarely ever directed at them.

they're over at lotus pier whenever JL is. JL doesn't get to go there much now because of his sect leader duties but when he is, he is sure followed by his friends. it's like they've decided lotus pier is their go to headquarters where they can fool around and shit. jiang cheng would pretend he hates it and finds them all a nuisance ("don't you kids have your own sects to go home to?? lotus pier is not your play place! why are you brats always here?!") but he's really glad JL's got friends with him now. he used to be such a lonely child.

overtime, they just randomly pop up even when JL isn't there. jiang cheng is always surprised to see either lsz, ljy, or ozz in the compound saying they were in the area and decided to pop in for a greeting like: hi sect leader jiang! how are you? been to any night hunts lately?

they're over there a lot that they even have their own regular guest quarters by now. ones close to JL's suites in the family compound. they sometimes train with the disciples but otherwise they just mess around lotus pier and swim in the lakes. especially in the summers.

JL is ecstatic! finally! people who understands his jiujiu's weird show of affection other than wwx! JL thinks his jiujiu is just severely misunderstood but he really is just a Big Softie with grumpy tendencies.

oh and he teaches them stuff too obviously, but not in the way that's playful and interactive like wwx or direct like lwj. jiang cheng's wisdom comes in random bouts in the middle of night hunts. small tidbits on fighting born out of experiences from the war and life in general. the profound ones come when he's two bottles deep just before turning in or when they're strolling on busy night markets going home and he doesn't even mean to but the juniors are like 'wow that makes so much fucking sense we never thought of it that way what the fuck.'

when the juniors are night hunting near yunmeng or if lotus pier is their meeting point and jiang cheng doesn't get to come with them, he makes the servants pack them extra snacks or pile them on to JL to share with his friends. the servants are careful not to say anything but they all know it's under sect leader jiang's orders

ohmygod jiang cheng is such an overbearing mother hen. but in a good way! the juniors learned to enjoy it the best they can and needle him into buying them snacks or letting them do stuff they normally wouldn't get away with from wangxian. he's literally the grumpy uncle who's also the most indulgent.

on god can you imagine jiang cheng being THAT UNCLE who lets u get away with small misdemeanors?? ABSOLUTELY INSANE. but he does with the juniors!! like he trusts them to not be so stupid and call for help when need (also they have a fierce corpse as a companion most of the time anyway, so).

some sprinkles of wangxian bc i'm a slut for them:

wangxian notice that they've been talking a lot about sect leader jiang. “oh,” wwx says, “you went night hunting with jiang cheng? when was this how come i’ve never heardof it?” he's clearly itching to ask more he's practically vibrating.

ljy: don’t worry wei-qianbei you're still our favorite! sect leader jiang is our close 3rd wwx: 3rd? who's 1 and 2? ozz: you and hgj are #1 of course! wwx: we tied for #1? ljy: yeah you're practically a package deal. do not separate and all that wwx: who's #2 tho? ozz: wen-qianbei! wwx: huh. valid.

jl: speak for yourselves. jiujiu is my #1. wwx: that's also very valid too a-ling. otherwise i'll have to scold you for being unfilial and jiang cheng will break your legs for breaking his heart.

once while relaying a report, lsz called jiang cheng ‘shūshū’ and wwx had to do a double take because um what? what did you just call jiang cheng? lsz blushed and stuttered an explanation before jl explained obnoxiously:

jl: jiujiu told him to call him that. told him to go to the ancestral hall to pay respects too. he must really like you sizhui. ljy, #1 sizhui fan: of course he likes sizhui! everyone does! wwx: is it true sizhui? lsz, blushing:...shūshū's nice... wwx:...jiang cheng...shushu...nice..ok....okok...

lmao one of them (either ozz or ljy but i think it will be more hilarious if it's ljy) slipped and called jiang cheng 'jiujiu' once just because he kept hearing jl calling him that. jiang cheng just turns to him with a mild "that's jiang-zongzhu to you, lan jigyi."

and god!!! ljy is so mortified!!! this is worst than that one time he accidentally called hgj 'dad'!! it doesn't help that his friends are assholes (yes even sizhui!!) and never let him live it down. especially JL!! he's all "don't go stealing my jiujiu now" fuck you JL!! as if ljy will!!

also, once when they were sassing jiang cheng, (they get!! to sass sect leader jiang!! and he only threatened to break their legs once!!) and ljy got the last word in, jiang cheng hit him w/ a "is that any way to talk to ur uncle? huh, nephew?" which effectively shut up ljy as his friends roared in laughter propriety be damned!!

((yes i was thinking of that B99 episode where jake peralta called captain holt dad and holt went in for the ride and called jake 'son' lmao))

goodddd!!! i live for the junior quartet discovering that underneath jiang cheng's rough exterior he's a Big Softie who's also hilarious even when he doesn't mean to. JL is very happy with this development and wwx is happy to hear stories about his brother having fun with the kids.

this ran long but i also just wanna says this is because of queen jiang yanli's influence (you guys notice how yunmeng trio are all good with kids?)

ANYWAY! this is me again with my 'Jiang Cheng is Great With Kids So Give Him More Kids To Take Care Of' agenda and you all should jump in on it thank you.

[posted on twitter]

#i just think jc will be so good with kids of all ages #he's got so much love to give #and noone to give it to #so it's just all pent up inside him #so he's all rage-y and shit #jiang cheng #junior quartet #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #jin ling #ouyang zizhen #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #headcanon #mdzs headcanons

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6ad6ro · 2 years

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if you can't handle an innocent friendly msg from a mutual to the point that you assume shit n block them? that says a lot about you. and none of it is good.

bein shy is one thing. but not everyone who looks like a guy is out here trying to get in your pants. not everyone that reaches out is some sort of stalker. learn to decipher that shit. stop imagining red flags in every interaction.

god i used to think it was my job to be sensitive to that stuff, but it's REALLY not. i'm just tryin to be ur friend after YOU followed ME. lol just a lot of people on this website are just sick n have no interest in getting better. don't get me wrong, i've made plenty of cool friends too? but some of you are real losers. you should be grateful that anyone was willing to take the time to reach out to you.

ppl like me will keep sending friendly messages. and people like you will keep reacting super weirdly and outing themselves as shitheads who never deserved a second thought. enjoy having like zero friends i guess? YEAH! reblog more posts about how u proudly block people for no reason! you're so cool! def not sabotaging all of the relationships in your life!

you aren't cool. you aren't strong. you're a fragile, paranoid narcissist. and you missed the fuck out.

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urmomsstuntdouble · 3 years

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If ur still doing the 100 followers thing, well I challenge YOU with deciphering Lithuania.

ok anon thank you so much for asking this question because i have in fact recently fallen in love with lithuania, because they are such an interesting character! (also hhhh im so sorry for how late this is)

Gender

As you may have noticed, I usually use they/them pronouns to refer to Lithuania. I hc them as being nonbinary and using he/they pronouns, though I personally prefer to use they rather than he in that case because. Idk what pronouns you use. But in my experience it’s really hard to get people to call you ‘they’ when you go by ‘he/they’ or ‘she/they’ or smth like that. Though I don't imagine any of the nations are very attached to their “birth gender” (are nations born???), lithuania is one of those who is a bit less attached. They’re just sort of there, in terms of gender. In my headcanons i also think this has something to do with religion, as lithuania was one of the last european countries to convert to Christianity- just because so much of gender as we know it comes from christianity and what people in the 16th and 17th centuries considered a ‘good’ christian. Thats not to say that there are no gender roles in other religions, but that the way westerners typically conceptualize gender has quite a lot to do with the religious conflicts occurring within christianity. Like you can trace the ideas behind the nuclear family archetype back to the protestant reformation. Additionally, I hc them as being Jewish, which further distances them from the western christian gender roles (though that’s not why i hc them as jewish! More on that later). Finally, i just like myself some trans/nb characters. There’s so few popular trans hcs and that makes me kinda sad ya know? Welcome to the trans agenda its just me projecting onto all my faves

Mental Health

Okay, so, i think it’s pretty well known that lithuania’s mental health is wack. They’re often characterised as being a very anxious person, but i think the ways in which they’re anxious is super interesting. For one, they are extremely conflict averse and like to avoid it by being a sort of people pleaser. It’s a sort of defense mechanism, because nobody can hate you if you do whatever they say. Like, if you let people be shitty to you, they won’t hate you for your personality. This is clearly flawed logic because then people are still going to be shitty to you, but. It makes sense to liet. In their mind, it’s okay to let people hurt if your reason is sound enough- Because if they’re not super emotionally engaged in a relationship that’s unhealthy for them, then they can’t get hurt, right? Of course, they can. A good example of this is their relationship with Russia. I think tolvydas sees compliance as necessary there, in order to avoid being hurt. The thing is…compliance is also hurting them, even if they see it as ‘worth it.’ To them, behaving in a submissive way is a survival tactic. A really bad one, but a survival tactic nonetheless.

This also plays into their tendency to be self-martyring. I think Tolvydas is very good at fighting, and all around a really awesome warrior (strong aragorn energy), which makes them think that they need to be the one to save everyone. Hero complex, sort of. This, coupled with their almost maternal care for Latvia and Estonia, makes them feel like they have a sort of weight-of-the-world on their shoulders. Though Estonia and Latvia do look up to them a lot, Tolvydas can sometimes fail to realise that they are also their own people and can fight their own battles. He feels a sort of obligation to protect them due to their shared culture and languages as The Baltic Trio, though it doesn’t go much further than a sense of obligation. They spent most of their youth fighting, to the extent that that’s most of what Tolvydas personally knows as ‘life,’ but they never actually got to know the other two Baltics very well until the modern day. They have to protect, have to be a caregiver, but they don’t actually know super well the things they’re trying to protect. It’s both a sense of obligation to protect as well as the sense that this is all they’re good at and as long as they’re fighting for a morally just cause, that’ll do.

I think something that would expose this flaw would be when they were first taken over by the Russian Empire in the 1790s, they were pretty miserable about a lot of things- Like the loss of all their territory and the sudden statelessness of their people- but a big one would’ve been the loss of Poland. This isn’t meant to be super shippy, but you know. They were united into one kingdom, and they had been for centuries, so i don’t imagine it was an easy separation. Though this is more up for debate where real people are concerned, these characters were essentially a big part of each other, ya know? Regardless of how much Lithuania actually likes Poland, they’re still a part of each other and that separation will undoubtedly be painful. Anyway, all that is to say that this separation was at the forefront of their mind during the beginning of the 19th century, and they let it sort of prevent them from taking care of the other Baltics. The issue with that is that they still considered themself to be protecting Estonia and Latvia, even though, in reality, nobody was. Also in reality, Lithuania was making themself out to be the worst off, and were generally sort of annoying to be around at this point in time. Their whole woe-is-me attitude wasn’t fun, and they were hypocritical in that they saw themself as being a better friend than they actually were. They still see themself as being a great friend, and though it’s improved in recent years, they’re still sort of. Flighty, i guess, where friendship is concerned. There was also a lot of annoyance by the other baltics about them being so self-martyring- Tolvydas was Ivan’s favorite, after all (that’s not necessarily a good thing, but. He was softer on them in certain ways). Anyway, I guess the big takeaway of this paragraph is that Liet often lets their self perception cloud the way they act in relationships.

Much of the stuff I’ve mentioned so far is a result of them having quite a lot of PTSD. I think Lithuania’s character tends to be explored through a few common lenses, those being the medieval vibes of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth and through being oppressed by the Russian Empire/Soviet Union. Not to say that there’s not a lot of other content about them, but this is what I see most often. I think that all the nations have some form of PTSD, but with Lithuania it’s very pronounced, and it’s made clear that a lot of their tendencies are a result of past trauma- Like the need to take care of others. This is likely originating with their childhood, as they grew up in a very violent environment where their survival was never guaranteed (survivor’s guilt much?) and violence was just the way of things. This is where the need to protect comes from. There used to be several more Baltic nations, though you could argue that now there’s only two- Lithuania and Latvia, as Estonia does not speak a Baltic language and would really like to be considered Nordic.

Finally, Lithuania is also an interesting character where forgiveness is concerned. I think their sense of morality is very black and white, so some people (Feliks) will be easily forgiven where others (Ivan) will not. In reality, I think it would definitely be valid for Tolvydas to hate both of them, yet they don't- Because they decided that Feliks was a friend and Ivan was not. Both Feliks and Ivan care very deeply about them, but neither treats Tolvydas in a very good way. Of course, I’m aware that the situation in the Russian Empire/USSR and the Commonwealth were very different, but I’m talking about these three dudes and their relationships with each other beyond the lens of politics. Because Feliks tried to be their friend in a way that didn’t hurt them tremendously, and because. Look at them, Feliks isn’t 5’4 and can’t hurt you. They’re not an intimidating person and they’re not incredibly powerful like Ivan is. Though that’s not all of it- Feliks’ feelings for Tolvydas are definitely a purer, more selfless type of love than what Ivan feels for them- it makes it harder for Tolvydas to hold a grudge against them. Whereas for Ivan, their relationship was about control. He needed to control them as a way of expressing how he felt about them. He represents a lot of what Tolvydas fought against in their youth, so of course they hate him. Of course, I don’t think they like holding grudges. They want to be able to care for everyone, because they know that everyone deserves to be treated well and cared for and all that. You can't exactly do that if you hold a grudge against someone, so it actually kind of sucks for them when they see someone they hate suffering. It’s a sort of conflict of interest- The caregiving instincts vs the hatred for this person- and they often don’t know what to do in that situation. Usually they wind up helping but not happy about it. They just don’t want to see others suffer, despite the fact that they dislike this person (Russia is of course the exception. They don’t want to help him at all anymore).

Relationship with family

So, this is a bit of an interesting topic. I think the Baltics consider themselves family just because of what they’ve been through together, but they’re not actually blood related. Though they share similar cultures, and languages, they’re just not related. Maybe Lithuania and Latvia are cousins, but yeah. Lithuania sees themself as the head of their little family, as they have the oldest surviving European culture and language. They sometimes get in their head about that, and can act like both a mom friend and a mom who is bad at mom-ing. It’s a sort of self appointed thing, and can be really annoying to the other two. They don’t pay the utmost attention to their fellow Baltics, and are more concerned with physical well being than emotional well being, so, despite establishing themself as a caretaker, do not wind up actually caring for the other Baltics in the ways they need to be cared for.

Fighting style

So, as I’ve mentioned, Lithuania is a talented fighter. They go hard as shit, and can very much kick your ass. I think they prefer to be very technical about how they fight, with something boring like a broadsword as their weapon of choice, but are not afraid to fight dirty. Like rip off an ear with their teeth kind of playing dirty. I think they take fighting very seriously. Though Lithuania as we know it is only about 800 years old, I think Tolvydas is much older. The definition of a nation (a large body of people united by common descent, history, culture, or language, inhabiting a particular country or territory, according to the oxford dictionary) does not require there to be a central governing body, so I think it’s quite possible for Lithuania to be well over 2000. Anyway, all that is to say that they didn’t grow up in medieval times, so by the time they’re like. Achieving dominance in Eastern Europe, they’re already very old and well versed in many different styles of fighting. In the modern day, I think they’ve learned more different fighting styles from other parts of the world, but will always fall back on the way they learned how to fight in ancient times.

Religion

So as I mentioned earlier, Lithuania is Jewish in my headcanons (orthodox, specifically. I think they're kinda traditional). I have a couple reasons for this- There has been a historical presence of Ashkenazi Jews in Lithuania, going back to the 13th or 14th century, and this is due to certain legal protections granted to Jewish people under pre-Commonwealth law. They were legally on similar footing to the average free people of Lithuania, and were able to create a slightly more prosperous community than Jews in other areas of Europe. This was also affected by the Black Plague of the 1340s. Orthodox Jews tend to put a high value on cleanliness, and often have two sinks in their houses (my childhood home, for example, had two sinks, and i lived in a majority jewish area). They also happened to be concentrated in Eastern Europe, due to the protections. Because of this, Eastern European Jews have some of the highest sruvival rates for the Black Plague and actually brought up the survival rates of the region as a whole- Though this also resulted in some intense antisemitism, as many Christians blamed Jewish people for the plague even happening, due to their higher survival rates. Despite various expulsions and the loss of legal rights, the Jewish population remained relatively steady up until world war 2. Jewish people made up about 10% of the total population of Lithuania in 1941, and 45% of the total population of Vilnius. (To put this in perspective, the entire world population is only about 0.2% Jewish). Anyway, all this is to say that it’s not out of the question for Lithuania to be Jewish.

Extras/Fun stuff

Lithuania loves reading, especially the fantasy/fairy tale genre. It makes them nostalgic without the trauma of reading historical fiction.

They’re also very musically gifted, and can play the piano, bass, ukelele, and flute.

They wear docs.

They love hot chocolate.

They remind me of both Aragorn from lotr and Hozier. They’re such a sweet lad.

Bicon who has like 5 people thirsting for them at a given moment but is either oblivious or not looking for a relationship right now.

Here are my fics with lithuania as a main character!

My previous character analyses of lithuania (sorry they’re mostly in shipping contexts, rip) and another good analysis someone else did

My playlist for them

and i think thats it! of course i could always talk more about them, but those are my thoughts for now! thank you so much for the ask, i hope i was able to meet your challenge!

writing requests

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the-demelza-robins · 4 years

Text

american high school!jily (pt II)

hi! here’s a short chapter before The Big One (which is set on Halloween night and will hopefully come out on Halloween, if I have the energy). thanks so much for all the positive feedback, it makes me really happy! also you can read it on AO3 if you want

read part one here

James and Lily are in the same math class; this fact is not new. What is new, however, is that today, he drops his bag in Sev’s seat, the one right next to her.

“Hey,” he says, then nods once, as if this is normal. It is not.

“Hi,” she responds, because she doesn’t know what else to do. What she does know is that suddenly she’s aware of him, aware of the solidness of his form beside her. He’s tall, taller than Roger. She never really noticed that before.

He fiddles with his pencil. She blinks once, twice. She’s probably so attuned to his movements because he took Sev’s seat. Yes, that must be it. James sitting next to her means that Severus “I’m a fucking white supremacist” Snape can’t. Math has always been the worst, too — Lily cut Sev out of her life junior year, after he published that article, but he refuses to listen to her when she tells him to stay away, and sits next to her whenever he can. She has no friends in math class, no one to shoot him dirty looks and drown out his murmured apologies and arguments.

But James is here, now. Even if he’s not her friend. Even if he doesn’t know the significance of what he just did.

He’s still here. And that’s something.

***

Lily, please save me, the note reads, written in James’s messy scrawl. It took her a long time, as well as a lot of not-so-subtle hints from James, to realize that he’d written it in the first place. It takes her a little longer to decipher his handwriting, which is fine, because she’s ahead on the problems they’re supposed to be working through, caught in that in-between of being too good for regular math and not good enough for honors. As she looks at the curled-up bottom portion of his notebook, she senses Sev glaring daggers at her from across the room. Perfect.

From what? she writes back, letters neat and compact. James reads it almost immediately and takes a long time to respond.

The evil eye that Snivellus is giving me right now.

Ha, ha.

A smile spills out of the corner of his mouth as he writes back. Are you two involved in some sort of torrid love affair I didn’t know about? Am I making him #jelly?

That hashtag made me throw up in my mouth a little. She pauses, pencil flicking against the desk. She knows he’s watching, knows Sev is watching, and so she picks up the paper again and adds, and no, I am not involved with Sev. Would rather make out with Tony the Squid.

His smile widens, now, and she catches it in her peripheral vision. Not our school mascot. That’s too far, Evans.

It occurs to Lily that she’s acting exactly like elementary school James would. She’s laughing about Sev. Her past self would be disappointed.

But her past self didn’t know what Sev would become. She angles her body more towards James, away from her former best friend’s skin-crawling stare.

***

James sits with her again the next math class, and the one after that, too. She knows things about him, now: knows that he doodles soccer balls in the margins of his notebook; knows that he can’t stop moving, and sometimes when he’s bored of tapping his pencil he’ll tap his foot against her chair leg, unconsciously; knows that he has a little scar on his neck; knows that he can make her laugh with one passed note; knows that he still hates Sev as much as he did in eighth grade.

Lily’s the first to step into the math classroom today; or, at least, she thinks she is, until she spots Sev hovering near her seat, muttering to himself under his breath. Lily steels herself and walks by him, pointedly ignoring him as she slips into her chair.

“Lil —”

“Don’t call me that,” she says immediately, and glances towards the door. She’s forgotten what it feels like to be alone with Sev: like she’s been stripped bare, vulnerable, underneath all the layers of hatred and hurt.

Sev huffs, haughtily, in a way that’s so quintessentially him that it causes Lily physical pain. “You’re blowing it all out of proportion. I was looking at the situation from a purely economic perspective—”

“You were being fucking racist, Sev, and you know it,” she snaps, trying and failing to calm down. So easy, she is. The same conversation, every time: the same circles ran, with no ground lost or gained.

Sev opens his mouth to argue back, but before he can, a new voice cuts in.

“Should’ve known I’d find you here,” says James, speaking in a way she’s forgotten that he’s capable of: sharp, sharp as cut glass.

“This has nothing to do with you, Potter,” Sev says stiffly, gaze settling on James, who in turn looks at Lily, brow furrowed.

“You’re in my seat, Snivellus.”

Sev’s face turned red. “It was my seat first.”

“Then I guess it depends on what Lily wants.”

They both turn towards her, and this is where I get to choose, Lily realizes, with a startling burst of clarity. She knows she doesn’t want Sev, doesn’t want him near her, doesn’t want him begging for forgiveness with crocodile tears; she sucks in a breath, says, “That’s James’s seat.”

James smiles, just for a second, then slides into the seat next to her and starts to take out his math notebook. Sev stands, watching them, hands curled into fists; Lily can’t meet his eyes. Yes, he’s virtually unrecognizable from his childhood self, but rejection — rejection for James? James, who had made his early years a living hell?

She stares at the desk until she hears Sev’s retreating footsteps, knowing that to glance up and see the look of anguish on his face would make her feel even worse.

“Glad we got rid of Snivellus, huh, Evans?” James whispers, and he’s too close, sitting next to her with his pencil already tapping against the desk, a hand wafting through his hair. Lily feels like a child again, except this time she’s chosen the wrong side. She’s one of them now. Sev will never speak to her again.

Isn’t that what she wants? He’s a terrible person; she doesn’t long for his friendship. Still, a part of her — a very small part of her — wants him to want her. Another wave of revulsion consumes her; for a moment, she just stares at James, wondering how she’s gotten here. “I’m not like you, James.”

He blinks. “Yeah?”

She could yell at him. She could ask him why, all those years ago, he felt it necessary to call Sev Snivellus, to joke about his greasy hair and unwashed clothes, to ensure that he’d have no friends save Lily.

But in this moment, Lily’s more angry at herself. So instead, she turns towards the front of the classroom, hoping to find some sort of respite in calculus.

Sev doesn’t approach her again, after that.

***

Texts with Roger Davies, Tuesday, October 27th, 9:33pm

Roger: did you get rodriguez’s approval for the theme?

Lily: yeah, we’re all set!

Roger: okay great

Roger: i’m so glad that we’re finally done with that process

Roger: james was being so annoying about choosing it

Lily: lol i thought he was funny. and it didn't derail us that much

(Lily doesn’t know where that instinct comes from, the one that tells her to defend James’s honor. Maybe she knows, in her heart of hearts, that he’d do the same for her, without question, because that’s just the kind of person he is. Maybe she imagines him in math class, tapping his pencil against his desk, focused but also not, a reassuring presence. Maybe the image in her head is shifting from the boy he once was to the boy that now sits next to her every day: the one who lets her fight her own battles, the one who doesn’t push her, the one who didn’t ask about Sev after their last encounter. She can’t be sure of it yet, but maybe she’s actually starting to enjoy his company — that is, when she forgets about the past eight years of her life.)

(Or, maybe, she thinks, as she lies down on her bed, watching the bubbles on her phone pop up and disappear over and over again, she knows that disagreeing with Roger will extend their conversation.)

Roger: james is always like that tho

Lily: really? he’s been pretty good lately i thought

Roger: always wants things his way

Roger: idk i shouldn’t be talking about this

Lily: lol

Roger: it’s just that ur nice to talk to

(Roger’s never said that to her before. She wonders if it’s because she really is nice to talk to, or if it’s because she’s just there.)

Lily: lol thanks

Roger: and i feel like i can trust you

(He’s never said that to her before, either. They’ve never really spoken about non-yearbook related things. She doesn’t understand why he’s suddenly acting like they’re friends. She can’t say she doesn’t enjoy the familiarity — this is Roger, after all, and any relationship gain with him is a good one — but she feels blindsided. It was October until people burst into her room telling her it’s Christmas, and now she’s just confused.)

Lily: yeah you can trust me

Roger: cool i’m glad

seen by Lily at 9:46pm (there’s nothing more to say).

***

Texts with Roger Davies, Tuesday, October 27th, 9:50pm

Roger: can i ask you a question

Lily: fire away

Roger: are you coming to the halloween thing this weekend

Lily: yeah was planning on it

Lily: why

Roger: cool maybe i’ll see you there

(Oh.)

(It’s Christmas morning in October. It’s Christmas morning in October.)

(Lily doesn't know much about high school relationships, hookups or otherwise, but she does know this: if a boy asks a girl if she's coming to a party, he did it for a reason. And that reason is usually not so that they can discuss the yearbook.)

Lily: yeah see you there

(There's nothing more to do but wait.)

part three

#jilytober #jilytober 2020 #jily #jily fanfiction #mine #my writing #lily evans #james potter #severus snape #jily au #harry potter fanfiction

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