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#until now. when i apparently discovered how the make no way home less sad for myself
philtstone · 2 years
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Peter/Michelle, 12
#12 kisses on the corner of their mouth
"Michelle," Ned says, "this is awesome. Specifically in that way people in psychological thrillers fall apart at the seams and go overboard awesome. Are you turning into the morally grey main character of a psychological thriller?"
"Oh, God," Michelle groans, and hides her face in her hands. "This was a bad idea."
"I mean ... it is very thorough," says Cindy. She's visiting from MIT's Dorm B; Betty is on video call because this was supposed to be a girls' night, even though Ned is also here, using her desk because his has been unilaterally overtaken by his could-be-a-serial-killer-roommate, but now. Now. Michelle's Wall has been discovered.
Or rather, Michelle spilled the beans to Betty while Cindy was in the bathroom, and Betty can't keep a secret to save her life.
Michelle gestures wildly to the corkboard of newsclippings, red string, scribbled highlighter and one very blurry cryptic photo of a guy crossing the street in the snow, which was until very recently hidden behind the clothes rack they use to make up for zero closet space.
"I'm not insane, okay! Let's just drop it."
"No, no no no," says FaceTime Betty practically. "This is good stuff. This is real stuff. Have you talked to a psychic? I really think that could help."
"He like, comes to the ice cream place, right?" says Ned, obviously, over his Eng 101 notes. "We work there every break. Just ask him what his name is."
"No," hisses Michelle, thinking of Ned's roommate. "No. I'm not a weird serial killer, Ned. I need to figure this out before I make contact."
"Uh, MJ," Ned says, "you've already made contact. Dude comes in every Friday and gets the same coffee order to go."
"Aaargh!" Michelle fists her hands in her hair. "I know! I know, and it's killing me because I feel like an insane person but I swear I've met him somewhere before!"
Only an insane person would have very lucid dreams about sitting atop buildings with the nameless guy who gets coffee at the sad Sugar and Scoops Michelle and Ned work at whenever they go back to New York. Only an insane person, Michelle maintains somewhat hysterically and in the privacy of her own mind, would feel very strongly, in like, the marrow of her proverbial bones or whatever, that she knows what it feels like to kiss this guy on the corner of the mouth.
Not even the middle! The corner! Who has dejavu about mouth corners?
As if reading her mind, Betty says, considering the muppet-like figure in the cryptid photo, "Y'know, hes kinda cute."
"Oh, definitely super kissable," says Cindy, with characteristic verve.
"You should ask him out Michelle."
Michelle walks the two steps to the pitiful mattress Dorm A rooms call beds and covers her face with a pillow.
"Hypothesis," Ned offers, after a moment of silence, "He looks like a Pedro. Don't you think?"
"Seriously?" says FaceTime Betty. "You want our Michelle to be having prophetic dreams -- possibly of the sexual nature --"
"Betty!" cries Cindy, with once more characteristic reproach,
"-- about a boy named Pedro?"
"What? Some people are called Pedro, Betty."
Michelle clutches the pillow tighter to her face and screams.
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spurious · 4 months
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Your McShep fics are giving me life. I'm CRAVING McShep content recently - its so hard to discover a love for old fandoms that are now less active! Please send me all the great other McShep fics you stumble across, I've burned my way through your whole library
Oh my goodness!!!! This ask plus the one from a few weeks ago are really telling me I need to get back to doing fic rec posts regularly!!!!!
First of all thank you so much for your kind words about my fic 💖💖💖💖 honestly for me SGA fandom feels soooo active, even though I know it was an actual juggernaut back in the day lmao. BUT that means that there’s a MASSIVE backlog of stuff to read!!!! Just insane amounts of staggeringly good fics!!!!
And second of all you can check all my previous rec posts here: the tag is sometimes ficlets I’ve reblogged but also lots of links and lists in there!!
ANYWAY. Let me see if I can rustle up some new recs for you my friend! I have a couple of unposted recs in my notes so we’ll pop those in first:
Five People Who Know by hestia_lacey | ~4k, rated E
Five people who know exactly how John Sheppard feels about Rodney McKay.
Only read this if you’re prepared to have your heart stomped on, but ahhhhhhhh. The first part, with Jeannie, is definitely my favorite.
Wishes on a Wheel by waterfalliam | ~3.2k, rated T
The sun is gentle, faintly wrong against his skin. The wind whispers against his arms and neck that he’s alive and that counts for something, he’s never wholly alone, he still has himself—but it’s nothing like the sea breeze that feels like home.
Absolutely beautifully sad introspective Epiphany!John piece, dealing with his depression and feelings of abandonment, with a sweet ending 💖
Solitary by @esteefee | ~5k, rated M
Four days in solitary gives a guy time to think. Unless he's an idiot.
Aggggh the John voice in this is immaculate (as is to be expected from esteefee ofc). Sardonically funny with a soft and chewy emotional core that just...takes a little time and a little chipping away at to get to. But, you know, worth it.
Followed by two faves from this year’s sga secret santa, both of them variations on the theme of John and Rodney making up:
In the Dark of the Night by @hero-in-waiting | ~5.8k, rated M
The problem with arguments is that they never happen at a good time. Which is a to be expected given their nature. And the problem with trying to make up is, at least in the Pegasus galaxy, they come at an even worst time. Especially when John and Rodney get stuck off world, running from some locals who took a dislike to them immediately and five days after an argument that, in John's opinion, had started over nothing.
But at least they were together?
Love the concept of this one, love them being forced into life or death situations before being able to talk about their feelings, looooove the misunderstanding on Rodney’s part 🥰🥹
When I Think of All the Worries That People Seem to Find by @audioletter | ~2.3k, rated G
After ten years of being together, John acts like John and Rodney acts like Rodney.
Absolutely cried reading this I love it so much. The depth of knowledge that they have for each other after so long is so apparent in the best, most beautiful way.
Aaaand let’s round it out with a nice long one:
Inukshuk by murron | ~80k, rated M
A mission-gone-south isolates Rodney and John from the rest of the team. Forced to search for an Ancient outpost, they struggle to keep each other alive until the time their kidnappers prepare to sacrifice the one and purify the other.
This is absolutely a mcshep fic but I almost found that taking a backseat for me in my enjoyment of the way that the plot unfolds, the way that it’s written? Absolutely spellbinding work, I struggled to put it down.
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dall18camacho · 2 years
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astaroth1357 · 3 years
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Hi there, congrats for the 1500 subs. How about the bros reaction to an MC who's an empath?
Brothers with an MC Who is an Empath
This should not have been as hard as it was but maaan, my brain just wasn’t working. Finally got it done though!
Intro:
An Empath is essentially someone who is highly sensitive to outside stimuli like sounds, personalities, energies, emotions, or just hectic/chaotic environments. They tend to absorb the emotions of others into themselves because of this. Though their sensitivity can grant deeper understanding for others, it comes at the price of the Empath’s own emotional and physical health if not given enough time to decompress which can lead to feeling drained, irritable, depressed, or overwhelmed.
Lucifer
Oh boy, if there was ever any demon not in tune to his own emotions…
He started out legitimately not knowing what an "empath" was and frankly he didn't care to know. His main concern was just keeping the MC alive.
Though that didn't seem to be too hard because they apparently get tired quickly… or at least they had to take extended periods away from most of his brothers.
He wasn't sure why, he first assumed it was because they found his brothers annoying but that didn't seem to be the case either...
He'd see them grinning with Mammon after a jackpot, relaxing with Satan in silence, and even crying with Levi over things so niche and pointless he couldn’t imagine that they actually cared...
It wasn’t too long until they set their sights on him. 
They always seemed to know when he was stressed or when he needed to talk to someone. He'd even be embarrassed to admit there were days when he’d just hover somewhat close to them, face more or less slathered with "I really need to talk right now" but too proud to make the first move.
After some time, he decided to look up what an empath was again and it all clicked into place. They probably knew when he was tired because they could just sense it off of him.
And who knows how exhausting that must be for them...
After that little revelation he actually started paying more attention to his own health to keep it from spilling over to them, but he would still go to them to talk from time to time. He honestly never expected a human to become his closest confidant.
Mammon
Mammon has BIG energy. He’s one of those personalities that just brightens a room he walks in but damn… if he’s not a little exhausting to be around sometimes…
Truthfully, he was kind of into their whole “I know how you feel so you don’t have to say it” vibe though it was really confusing to start with...
On the one hand, they never made fun of him for his sensitive side. Not once. And they seemed pick up on the days where he wasn't feeling his best as well, which only made him happy and want spend more time with them.
But on the other hand, he'd be lying if he said that their need to recharge away from him didn't catch him off guard a lot... Hell, for the first few weeks of getting to know the MC he thought they didn't like him at all!
It took the MC sitting him down and explaining to him that they're more sensitive to things like lights, sounds, and emotions for him to kind of get the picture. It wasn’t that they didn’t like him, they just needed to be somewhere calm.
Cue a lot of “Okay human, I’ll be calm. Promise! Ya won’t even now I’m here!” in a well meaning, but pretty loud voice and not getting much better from there, bless his heart...
Even after he eventually gets the picture and stops hanging off of their leg, it does bum him out to be separated for however long it takes for them to get better (at worst, it can be days).
But he really gets excited like a puppy whenever they finally come back again! Big grins and lots of hugs (good luck peeling him off now).
Levi
Levi is... best taken in short bursts.
Though his personality isn’t big like Mammon’s, he does have a lot of lingering negativity around him. Not exactly his fault, being Envy and all, but not great for someone who’s sensitive to emotions.
In truth, Levi genuinely loves being around the MC because they “get” him even if they don’t get what’s happening.
While his brothers may roll their eyes or struggle to understand how he can put so much emotional investment into an anime or a character, the MC would always seem to feel and respect that his emotions were genuine and let him experience them without question.
… But at the same time, that sensitivity meant that they got carried in with him through his every emotion, good, bad, or somewhat erratic depending on the situation… 
Add to that his higher than usual need for validation, investment, and feedback due to his insecurity and unfortunately he’s easily the most emotionally draining person in the House...
It took some time to explain to Levi what an empath was and that their desired space wasn’t because there was something wrong with him or anything, they just needed breaks. Thankfully, being an introvert himself meant that Levi understood this a lot quicker than Mammon.
In truth, being with Levi could be fun and rewarding for both parties. During his high points, his happiness truly does shine like no other, just… don’t overdo it.
Satan
In the beginning, Satan was honestly pretty impressed how quickly the exchange student saw through his fake smiles. They’d know that there was no actual joy behind them and thus avoided him for the most part.
This was before they formed their pact so he was perfectly fine with that. Let them hide, that’s the smart idea.
But after getting to know them and going through the body-switch, he started to see that it was deeper than just some good intuition on their part. Something about them… reflected the people around them...
They appeared to be acutely aware of the emotion in a given person or a given room and reacted like they were soaking in the atmosphere they found themselves in. Taking it into themselves…
It truly confused him.
Satan is the picture of emotional control, it’s been taught to him again and again to always keep a good handle on himself because things go flying when he doesn’t. The idea of being so open to others just didn’t make much sense to him… 
Why would anyone want to live so dependent on the emotions of others? It sounded chaotic just to hear about it...
But after he opened up to them about his own inner doubts he started to think it wasn’t such a bad thing. They appeared to be equipped to help him navigate his own emotions, especially the new ones he didn’t have the best grasp on yet.
He later did his own research into human emotions, discovered empaths, and that put it all into perspective. Like Lucifer, he did his best not to overwhelm them after that but there was little worry about that anyway. Satan is, again, emotional control at its finest.
Asmodeus
Oh, Asmo picked up on their human’s little quirk relatively quickly compared to his brothers. Being emotionally observant is just part of what makes him so good at what he does.
Honestly, he enjoyed just watching them from afar… Watching the way their eyes lit up when talking to a cheerful Simeon or how huffy and frustrated they’d get along with Mammon when things weren’t going his way. It was cute to him, like a child playing “Pretend.”
Eventually, though, he started to notice that it went a lot deeper than mere imitation...
One day, Levi came home distraught about the tragic death of some voice actor he fancied and the MC was right along with him, crying as if that loss was theirs...
On another, Satan had spent the whole day silently fuming and the MC was a complete wreck, tense and on-edge for no other reason than the feeling of aggression in the air…
And crowds… crowded rooms seemed to be the death of them. So much noise and constant input, they’d have to leave so quickly…
Asmo saw all these things himself, without having to be told, and he became a refuge for them when things became too much. He has a big personality himself, but he could tone it down for a time and offer them a place away for a while.
If school, parties, or the brothers themselves just became too much, the MC could always go to Asmo’s room to vent like they let everybody else to with them. He’d keep the place quiet and calm and just help them sort things out...
Thank their father for Asmo’s observance.
Beelzebub
Legit the calmest, sweetest, nicest person to be around. Truly the best companion for an empathic MC to have.
Beel’s personality is positive, sweet, and (most importantly) stable. He’s not too bombastic nor too withdrawn, he’s not riddled with hidden stress or self-loathing, and he’s not even manipulative in any way, he’s just… Beel.
Am I saying that Beel is the MC’s emotional support demon? Yes. Yes I am.
Being around Beel is like hooking them up to a walking battery recharging station. Something about him just exudes warmth and comfort… They could be wrapped up in his arms for days and never say a word yet still be perfectly content...
Beel doesn't really mind them coming to him when distressed either because he likes being able to help them when they’re feeling drained. It makes him feel kind of special, they don’t seem to go to anyone else in quite the same way.
Usually, one of his brothers will be in a bad mood and the human will flock to Beel like a protective barrier. They'll hug him or trail along behind him like a lost puppy, which he thinks is very cute.
If they’re feeling really out of it, he’d carry them around on his back while they rest like he does for Belphie sometimes. Any time his brothers try to get too close to them or look like they’re going to bother them, he’ll just carry them away to some place quieter.
Though, the MC did pick up the deep sadness he felt for Lilith and Belphie (while he was gone) from time to time.... Which, considering how kind and comforting he usually is, just makes that dip in mood all the more painful and distressing for them. Poor baby… 
Belphegor
Belphie is another calm personality to have around, kind of similar to Beel, but since he's more prone to sadness and irritability he doesn't make the best companion…
If Beel is comfort, then Belphie is repose. Relaxed and peaceful, but also languid and sluggish… When Beel isn't around, then he makes a decent second, but only on good days.
Belphie has a mixed opinion on their uncanny ability to pick up on his feelings… He tries his best to be “mysterious” so having someone who can read him like a book gets under his skin just a little…
But he also really likes how much it helps them get to know him and understand where he’s coming from (being the youngest, he isn’t as used to being heard by anybody other than Beel). So, he’s very conflicted…
It didn’t help at all when it came to light that the MC could legitimately tell that he felt very hostile and angry towards them while he was still in the attic. When he asked why they helped him anyway, they told him so that they could make Beel happy again, regardless of how he felt about them which... ouch...
As if he could feel any worse about that particular incident… They could feel how guilty he was about that… right?
Even if they can’t he makes sure that they know that he’s sorry and he won’t do it again. Probably the lil’shit.
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bangtanloverboys · 3 years
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found again // jhs
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summary - forever was a very long time to be alone, but it was the safeest way to save yourself the heartache of losing loved ones. despite that, you still find yourself falling in love with hoseok
pairing - hunter!hoseok x immortal female!reader
genre - fluff, angst; reincarnation au
word count - 5.0k
warnings - strangers to lovers, hisorical inaccuracies, reader is centuries old, takes place in late 1700s, “i can fix that”, falling in love, kissing, proposal, mentioning of harming self, major character death, dogs die, im sorry everything i write of hoseok is sad but happy ending!!
author’s note - another fic inspired by ABC Forever, because i love the concept and i miss it
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After nearing three centuries of life, one would think they’d get used to being alone. To the quiet still air of an empty home, void of a family. But it never did, you could never get used to it. It wasn’t that you purposefully chose to live a life of solitude, but rather found it the best way to live. If you were alone, you couldn’t get hurt. With no roots, it made moving from place to place easier. The only thing that got you through it all was thinking back on your family.
They were long gone by now, but that didn’t change the fact you still thought of them often. More than once, you would dream of what they would have thought with each place. How your mother would move every bit of furniture until it looked just right, how your father would go on about how far it was from the village, or how your little sisters would run about the cabin entirely, claiming it was perfect. 
Several times you would get so caught up in your daydreams, you would even call out to them, only for your voice to die out before their names could even fully fall past your lips. Each time you’d wince at your own foolishness, before sighing, returning to the task you were doing. 
That was simply how you lived until the day that Hoseok arrived. 
You were deep into the woods, picking wild berries when a rustling was heard from across the clearing you were in. Cautiously, you made your way over to the rustling bushes. Right as you were about to peek behind them, a young man popped out from behind them. You let out a scream as you stumbled back, tripping over your skirt and sending you tumbling into the dirt.
“Oh my- I’m so sorry!” The young man spoke as he rushed over to you, helping you back to your feet.
“What were you doing? Were you watching me?!” You exclaimed, pushing him away from you as soon as you stood up.
“No! I promise. I was hunting when my dogs stopped.” It was then you were suddenly aware of the two dog heads that poked out from the branches. “I thought they caught a scent of maybe a deer but uh, seems like they found you,” he chuckled nervously, before his eyebrows shot up. “Where are my manners, I’m Hoseok,” he said, holding his hand out for you.
You stared at it for a moment, before you gave him your name, placing your hand in his. Your hand in his grip, he raised your knuckles to his lips for a kiss.
“Pleasure to meet you.” You swore your face grew hot at those words. It had been years since any man had shown you any sort of affection, even if it was the smallest bit. “What are you doing out here?”
“I- uh, berries.” You gestured to your basket that you left across the clearing. “Collecting some for a pie.” You’re unsure why you felt nervous all of a sudden, but with Hoseok’s gaze on your, it made it difficult to not feel shy.
“Berry pie? Oh that sounds delicious.”
Before you could even comprehend what you were thinking, you found yourself asking, “Would you like some?” 
“Pardon?” He furrowed his brows at you.
“I mean,” you cringed at yourself before you started over, “would you like to come over? It should only take a few hours?”
A smile lit up his face, and you swear you don’t think you’ve ever seen a more beautiful smile. “I would love that.” The both of you walked across the field, picking up your basket as you reentered the forest, heading into the direction of your cottage. Glancing behind you, you saw the two bloodhounds following close on his heels. No doubt noticing how you kept glancing behind him, he introduced them. “Their names are Mickey and Ann.”
“They’re beautiful,” you complimented.
The rest of the journey back to your cottage was in silence, but it was not uncomfortable. Reaching your small little property, you felt uneasiness wash over you as you motioned to your small cottage. It was already several years old by the time you moved into it, windows didn’t shut right and it took a couple nudges to fully close the door; but it was home. If Hoseok thought any less of it, he didn’t say anything, besides ordering the two dogs to stay put at the front door.
Once inside, you began to prepare the pie crust. On occasion, you’d glance up at Hoseok who was staring at the small things you had collected over your life, mainly assorted coins from each country you visited and a few books. Picking one of them up, he began to flip through it.
“Do you actually understand this?” He asked, gesturing to the words on the page.
“Italian? Yes.” No doubt it was probably one of the first languages you learned when you discovered your affliction. Over the past few centuries, you found out you had quite the knack for picking up languages. 
“You must’ve had some fancy schooling,” he whistled as he set the book down.
“Not really,” you flushed as you kneaded the dough. “Just knew someone who taught it to me.”
“Family?” He asked.
You shook your head no. A small Italian artist took you under her wing for a handful of years, deeming you her muse. In return for being the source of her inspiration, she taught you her language. 
“Where is your family?” 
The question had you cease your kneading. You should have known the question would’ve been asked at some point or another. Not to mention, you were somewhat of an enigma to the nearby village. A young well read woman from far away living in a small abandoned cottage, what could you possibly be doing all the way out here? No one ever said anything to you about it, but you knew they certainly thought something of it, judging by the stares you received when you’d walk into town. If he’d ever been, there was a strong possibility he knew of you already.
“Gone,” you answered, resuming your kneading. “Just me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry about that.” His voice was soft as he apologized, like he regretted asking.
“Not your fault, they’ve been gone for a while.” A long while.
The comfortable silence was gone, replaced with an air of tension. Like a string held so taught that the smallest movement would cause it to snap. The topic of your family always stung, no matter how much time had passed. 
Quite possibly wanting to ease the awkward atmosphere he created, Hoseok quietly made his way over to you in your small kitchen. Standing beside you, he smiled.
“What can I do to help?”
Pushing down the butterflies that had erupted in your stomach, you stepped to the side and handed him the basket of wildberries you collected. “Make the filling?” 
The rest of the afternoon consisted of both of you struggling to make the pie. Hoseok apparently wasn’t all that good with following directions as whenever you turned your back to do something, he would try and sneak a nibble at the filling. On occasion, he’d inquire about your knowledge of languages; curious to learn different phrases. It was only when you put the pie in the oven did Hoseok finally cease his linguistic questions. Sitting on a stool, you allowed yourself to catch your breath as you watched the young hunter, who’s gaze was fixated on your roof. 
You were well aware of the shape your cottage was in, due to its old age it was in constant need of repairs. The most important one being the leaks in the roof, thankfully it was the dry season so you didn’t have to go about fixing them just yet, but you knew you’d have to get to it eventually.
“I can fix that.” He gestured up to the roof.
“Can you really?” You raised a brow at him.
“Consider it my way of repaying you for the pie.”
And that was the beginning of your friendship with Hoseok. He’d stop by every other day, tools in hand and work on sealing up your roof. A few times, he’d even bring in a few of his kills, offering it to you to make some dinner. Each time you refused, but he always insisted. 
“A lady needs her food.”
A little over a week had passed and Hoseok finished the roof. It was then you realized how badly you hated being alone. You’d missed having someone to talk to, to cook for. Having grown so used to his presence in that week, you pointed to the old busted chicken coop that resided on your property. It had been empty since you’d moved in and you thought having fresh eggs from a nice chicken coop would be nice. Without hesitating, he agreed to fix the coop. And your front door, and your windows, and your fence. Each time he completed something, you found something new for him to fix.
While he worked on repairs, you’d either read or cook up dinner, not only for you and him, but for his dogs as well. Mickey and Ann were complete sweethearts, waiting patiently by the front door for their owner to come in and join you all for food. When he was working on your windows, more than once you saw him peeking through as you sat at your kitchen table reading  as Mickey laid his head on your lap. 
Eventually, the cottage was practically brand new. There was nothing else to be fixed and you had to prepare yourself to say goodbye to Hoseok. Your heart ached as he walked away from your home for the last time, his dogs trailing behind him. The following morning, you resumed your usual chores and activities; tending to your (new) chickens, work in your garden, and reread your books. 
You’d been fighting off tears all day, and it was as you were preparing supper that the tears began to fall. Perhaps it was foolish of you to get attached to him anyways. No matter what would have happened, it would’ve turned out the way it usually did: with you disappearing. 
A knock on your door, pulled you from your thoughts. For a moment you were confused, no one ever from the village ever came up to visit, you wondered what could’ve happened. Quickly, you wiped the tears from your eyes and made your way over to the door, where the unknown visitor knocked away. 
“Coming, I’m coming!” You called as you swung the door open, revealing- “Hoseok?”
The young man was at your door, a handful of freshly killed quails in hand, and both hounds standing behind him, panting happily. “What, I’m not late am I?”
“No, no,” you shook your head, “that’s not it at all. I just- I wasn’t expecting you?”
“Why wouldn’t you be expecting me? I thought we had a nice little arrangement going on?” He questioned.
“We did, but I have nothing else for you to fix so I assumed-”
“Y/N,” he cut you off. Cupping your cheek, you had no choice but to look up into his sweet, adoring face. “I thought it was pretty obvious you wanted me around for some other reason besides being your handyman.”
Feeling your face grow hot, you slowly nodded. 
He chuckled at you softly, his eyes never leaving yours. “So is it alright, I come over for supper?”
“Of course,” you breathed out. You don’t think you’ve ever felt so happy in so long. 
So the two of you fell into a routine of sorts, he would stop by some meat for you to cook for your supper. Over the meal, you’d catch up on your day to day activities. By the time the food was gone, and you were with full bellies, Hoseok would excuse himself. 
“Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning,” was what he would say as he left your cottage for his own home, somewhere in town. A few times you’d stayed up so late that it was well past midnight, so you offered him your place for the night. Purely because you didn’t want him out so late, but each time he refused; saying it wouldn’t be right.
Slowly, your dinner meetings would begin happening in the day time. The last few days of summer were upon you and you wanted to spend it with Hoseok, having a picnic with him. 
You dragged him up a tall grassy hill, basket full of bread, cheese, and jam. He laughed as he allowed you to pull him up towards the top, Mickey and Ann trailing behind at his heels, barking happily. Hoseok allowed the dogs to wander around the area, occasionally calling them back if they went too far. 
All set up, you both sat down and enjoyed your lunch. It wasn’t long after you finished that you scooted closer to him, and closer until your hands were almost touching. You were about to slip your hand underneath his when Hoseok’s hand moved, taking your’s and placing it in his. His hands were rough to the touch, small calluses riddled his palms. A smile playing on your lips, you rested your head on his shoulder.
Neither of you moved for hours as you watched the day go by from that little spot on the hill, relishing in the late summer sun. Out of all the years you lived, you had to think that that moment there was the most peaceful. There was no need to run, no overwhelming sense of loss, just you and Hoseok.
“What was your family like?” He questioned.
Taking a deep breath, you began talking about your late family. “My father was a miller, he’d often take me on his runs to deliver flour, giving me a little sack to carry as well,” you smiled fondly at the memory, the villagers chuckling at you as you teetered behind him. “When I was even younger, I used to lay down by the fire and watch my mother sew. . . scolding me for growing up so fast.”
“Did you have any siblings?”
“I had two younger sisters, parents weren’t able to have anymore after the youngest,” you sighed, remembering how hard your parents tried. “They adored flowers, wanting to cover the cottage we lived in with honeysuckle and wild flowers.” Your vision started to get blurry as tears welled up in your eyes.
“They sound wonderful,” Hoseok murmured.
“Yeah, they were. . .” You sighed, blinking back the tears.
“Hey,” he pulled his shoulder away to look at you. “You’re okay, it’s okay.” Hoseok’s hand moved to cup your cheek, brushing the stray hairs from your face. “Your parents are looking down on you, so proud of the woman you are today.”
Meeting Hoseok’s eyes, you’re overwhelmed with the love and adoration pouring from his gaze. Never in your three hundred years had a person ever looked at you that way. As much as you wanted to give into his love, you were scared of the inevitable. One day Hoseok would begin to age and he would notice you still look the same as the day you met. He would grow old before your eyes, leaving you no choice but to leave him broken hearted. To love him would be selfish of you.
The sound of his voice calling your name pulled you from your spiral. You watched as his eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment, before he slowly leaned in. For the first time ever time felt like it stood still. There was no inevitable ticking clock, no fear or thoughts of the future. Just you and Hoseok, on that grassy hill on a late August day. 
You should’ve known better than to have let him kiss you, as you knew as soon as you felt his lips on yours, there was no way you’d be able to let him go. Being alone for so many years, perhaps this time you could allow yourself to be selfish. One day you’d tell him about your curse, but until that day came, you were going to let yourself be with him. 
As the seasons changed, your relationship with Hoseok only grew stronger. He’d visit you daily, bringing gifts of flowers, baked goods, and other assorted courting gifts. The two of you would spend all day together, reading or he’d help you take care of your chickens. Each night, he would leave, despite your insistence on him spending the night.
“I’m courting you, let me do this right,” he whispered once as he kissed you goodnight. 
While you appreciated the sweet sentiment, he should’ve known your relationship was anything but orthodox. If your mother was still around, she surely would’ve been scandalized to hear you kissed him before you even married him. In fact the more you thought about it, the more horrified your mother would be at what you’ve done before marriage. But despite everything you may have done in the past, everything with Hoseok felt like a first.
Whenever Hoseok was with you, never did it feel like time was passing. Like it was only the two of you in your own little bubble of the world, frozen in time. Thoughts of your curse were far from your mind, but each time he left for the night, you knew you had to tell him eventually.
As the days grew colder, that ache you felt in your heart only became more apparent. Soon, you’d think to yourself, I’ll tell him soon. But it couldn’t come soon enough.
Snow soon covered the land, leaving you and Hoseok nothing much but to huddle yourselves inside your cottage. Both of you were huddled in front of your fireplace, desperate to keep warm. Hoseok’s dogs were curled up beside you as well, Mickey’s head resting on your lap as you lazily stroked his fur with one hand. You were rereading one of your novels, simply enjoying the warmth of the fire when you could feel Hoseok’s eyes on you. It wasn’t uncommon that he would stare at you as you did any sort of task, but there was something different about him. Behind his eyes, there was a particularly soft warm glow, making your body feel a thousand times more warmed than the heat of the fire in front of you.
“What are you staring at me like that for?” You finally asked, setting your book down. 
“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”
Within an instant you felt your cheeks warmed by his words. “Yes,” you responded shyly, avoiding meeting his eyes. 
Scooting closer to you, he took the book out of your hand, placing it off to the side. Both hands now free, he took them in his as he said your name. “I don’t know how else to say this but, I love you. I don’t know exactly when I fell for you, but I don’t think I ever want to stop.” Removing one hand from yours, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a delicate copper band. 
A gasp escaped your lips as he held out the ring for you. 
“It would give me the greatest pleasure, if you were to be my wife.”
“Yes,” you whispered. “Yes, yes!” You repeated as he slipped the ring onto your finger. Not even looking at it, you threw your arms over his shoulders. Unprepared for your sudden movement, you both went tumbling to the floor, the dogs whined as they rushed to move away from your colliding bodies. You pressed your mouth to his, smiling into it as he returned your kiss.
Until that moment, all your kisses had been brief. Fleeting kisses of hellos and goodbyes, never lasting more than a second. This kiss was different. His hands held your gently at your hips, keeping you in place on top of him. A fire ignited deep in you as you kissed him, you didn’t want to let him go now, not tonight. Keenly, you began peppering Hoseok’s entire face with kisses. His grip on you tightened as your lips traveled lower along the side of his jaw, nibbling at his neck.
“Wait,” his words came out in a groan. Calling your name, you only responded by moving back up to his lips, wanting to kiss him again. “No, not yet.”
“Hoseok, please,” you whined, breathless from the kiss.
“I know, I know, my love,” he panted as his hand came up to cup your face. “It’s getting late,” he sighed, noticing how dark the sky was outside once you were both sitting up again. 
“You could stay the night,” you offered once again. Before he could protest, you continued. “Besides, we’re engaged now. What difference would it make?”
Hoseok rolled your eyes at the logic. “The difference is I would like my first time with you, to be with you as my wife.” 
“You’re such a romantic,” you huffed as he stood up, gathering his things for him to leave.
Once all his things were together, he lowered his head down, kissing you one last time. “Goodnight, my love. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, Hoseok and his dogs left just like they would any other night. 
You stared at the door, waiting for the faint crunches of his footsteps in the snow to disappear. Now alone, you knew you had to tell him. Hopefully his love for you would trump any doubts he would have. While you could try to hurt yourself as proof, you doubt he’d want to see you harmed. Death was a jarring thing, no matter if you were to come back or not. Regardless of the outcome, you knew you’d tell him tomorrow. 
The following day, you got up like you would any other. You got yourself dressed, and began your daily activities. Everything was the way it normally was, but something felt off. You couldn’t place what was, but you knew deep down that something wasn’t right. 
Covering yourself with a thick shawl, you made your way over towards your chicken coop. Picking out the eggs from your hens, ready to make something for breakfast. Once you had enough, you made your way back over to your house. It was then you heard barking. 
Turning your head, you saw the familiar faces of Mickey and Ann, but there was no Hoseok. Setting the basket down, you lowered yourself to the ground, ready to greet the hounds. 
“Hey, hey,” you cooed as you pet the dogs, both of them clearly very distressed. “What’s going on? Where’s Hoseok?” As the mention of his name, Mickey barked at you while Ann whined, pulling at your skirts. 
“Excuse me, miss.” A new voice called from across the way. Looking up, recognizing the face as the innkeeper. You’d seen him a few times in town and Hoseok spoke of him often, as he had been renting one of his rooms the past few months. “You knew Hoseok, correct?”
“He’s my fianceé,” you responded cautiously as you straightened up. You hugged your shawl tighter around you as the innkeeper’s eyes saddened at your words. “Why? What happened?”
“I’m very sorry for your loss, miss.”
“What?” That moment, you could’ve sworn your heart stopped. Deep down, you wish it did. No, Hoseok couldn’t be gone. It couldn’t be. You wanted to accuse the innkeeper of lying, or perhaps he mistook someone for Hoseok. But the look in his eyes was clear: Hoseok was dead.
A ringing started in your ears as you stumbled back into your cabin, the dogs following after you. Barely able to hear any other word the innkeeper might’ve said, but it didn’t matter anyways. Hoseok was gone. There couldn’t be anything else to be said. 
Alone once again in your home, you collapsed onto the ground. Opening your mouth, a deafening wail passed your lips. You had died a number of times by now; you’d been poisoned, stabbed, hung, shot, drowned. You’ve felt almost every measure of pain there was, but nothing compared to the pain you felt when you’d lost your beloved Hoseok. 
You became a ghost of yourself after that day. Simply going through the motions of each day. Your only company was Mickey and Ann, who too missed their late owner. They were your only comfort, knowing that taking care of them was something Hoseok would’ve wanted you to do. Every night, they slept on your bed, curled up beside you as you lazily pet their aging bodies. 
Ann was the first to die. 10 years have passed since you lost Hoseok. You’d moved out of that cottage a few years prior, knowing it was only a matter of time before the village had caught on to your affliction. The move was particularly hard on the two hounds, not wanting to move far from the only town they’d ever known. But you had no choice. It became very apparent that Ann wished to return, always sleeping by the door, hoping you’d change your mind. That’s how you found her one spring morning, lying quietly by the door, having passed in her sleep.
You buried her in your garden, under a bed of roses.
Having lost both his sister and Hoseok, Mickey followed soon after. He rarely left your bed, only getting up to eat or to go outside. It was only three months later did you bury him beside Ann. 
The only reminder you had left of Hoseok was the ring on your finger. You rarely took it off your finger, fearing that one day you might forget it or Hoseok. Often you’d find yourself staring at the copper band. It was simple, bearing no special engravings or jewels, but it became your most prized possession.
Unfortunately, time didn’t stay still for you to wallow in your misery. You had to keep moving forward. But as time moved on, so did the world around you. It was strange how fast technology advanced, but as helpful as it was to the people around you, it became your worst nightmare. It became harder and harder to disappear, small towns and far away cabins no longer felt like the safe haven they once were. Which was how you found yourself deep in the city.
It was strange how easy it was to disappear, to simply become another face in the crowd. No one spared you a second glance, no matter how many times you may have seen them over the years, no one recognized you and your lack of aging. As long as you kept to yourself, you managed to stay hidden in plain sight.
Off the corner of 3rd street, you had your own little hole in the wall bookstore. You purchased the store from a sweet old couple a few years back, it was a quaint little bookshop, already having its own group of loyal customers. On occasion, you would get a few new faces, but it was usually the same ones everyday. 
Until today when you saw a face you hadn’t seen in almost 300 years.
Per your usual morning routine, you were taking inventory of the store when you heard the bell over the front door ring. “I’ll be with you in just a moment!” You called out, trying to finish the last few rows of books. Finished, you made your way back towards the front of the store, dusting your hands off. “Well, is there anything I can help you with-” You stopped dead in your tracks as you saw the man you had entered your store. His eyes were cast downwards and he looked over the titles of the front shelves. Hearing your arrival, familiar dark eyes faced you.
“I’m just browsing,” he said, lips curling into a smile you swore you almost forgot. 
In front of you, was Hoseok. It was, had to be. He looked every bit the same as that cold winter night when you last saw him. Your mouth opened and closed several times, before you finally gained your senses.
“Well, just, let me know if there’s anything specific you had in mind,” you responded, smiling as you spun around on your heel, wanting to make a break for your back office.
“Actually, there might be something.”
Swallowing thickly, you turned back to face him. “Oh?”
“I’m thinking of getting into cooking, do you have any cookbook recommendations?” He asked.
“Y-yeah, follow me.” Quickly, you walked over towards your cookbook section, feeling his eyes on you as you walked him over to the shelves. Dragging your fingers over the spines, you pulled out the one you were looking for. It was an older copy, you recognized from the late 80s. Inside were recipes of different types of baked goods and other dishes. “This one, I think I’ve made just about everything in it twice,” you said, pulling it off the shelf and handing it to him. 
As the man flipped through the pages, you found yourself fiddling with the ring that now hung around your neck. Long ago, you strung a chain through it, nearly losing it down the drain. You stared at him in front of you, still not able to wrap your head around it. After nearly six hundred years, you don’t think you’ve ever seen the same face twice. Maybe this was your second chance with him, to start over again. But at the same time, you knew it would be foolish. The man in front of you was a complete stranger, not Hoseok. For all you know, he could be completely different than your long lost fianceé.
Shutting the book, he nodded. “This is perfect.”
Shaking you from your thoughts, you nodded. “Great. I’ll ring you up over here.” Walking back towards the cash register, you both fell into a silence as you rang him up. “Alright, here you go,” you smiled, handing him the book.
“Thank you so much.” Cookbook and receipt in hand, he made his way towards the front door. He couldn’t go just yet, there was something you needed to know.
“Wait!” You called out right as he placed his hand on the door. “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your name?”
That brilliant smile played on his lips again as he responded. “Jung Hoseok.”
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rowansparrow · 3 years
Text
By Any Other Name: Chapter Seven
Summary: You and Rex have a conversation on the rooftop.
Chapter Rating: Teen 
Warnings: Alcohol, some drunk-ness. Sad, so very sad.
Ships: Rex x Female!Reader, Fives x Female!Reader, Clone OC x Female!Reader, other ships tbd.
Tags: #ByAnyOtherName, #BAON
Word Count: 3.1k
A/N: *insert that Always Sunny in Philadelphia Meme: “NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE, REX HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH READER THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME* As always, bless @fat-zygerrian for being my beta reader!
Comment if you want to be tagged! Reblogs are SO appreciated!
Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six
You were supposed to meet him that night.
You’d planned on going to 79’s instead of the rooftop as usual. Rose said the boys had missed you and wanted to play cards again. You’d gotten all dolled up and were about to head out when your comm beeped.
“Hey,” You grinned, shutting your apartment door behind you. “I was just heading out.”
“Yeah… about that,” Rose sounded embarrassed. “There’s been a change in plans. I won’t be able to make it. In fact, none of us will. We got – err – held up on base.”
“Really?” You asked, pausing as you started to head down to the main level of your building. “Okay… well can we meet after?”
“I’m not supposed to go off base but – yeah, yeah I’ll see what I can do. Keep your comm close.”
He hung up and you hesitated in the stairwell for a beat. Fuck it. Even if Rose couldn’t come along, you were still going to have a nice time tonight!
You had gotten more confident about going to 79’s ever since you and Rose had gotten close. You could recognize a few distinct faces now, just from people Rose had pointed out to you or introduced to you in passing. There was a notable absence of 501st blue, which at least confirmed Rose wasn’t just ditching you and had in fact gotten held up at the base with the rest of his battalion.
You approached the bar, settling in and glancing around to look for any familiar faces to keep you company while you waited for Rose. Further down the bar, you spotted Marshal Commander Cody and your breath hitched for just a moment. Rose had told you all about him – the most highly decorated clone soldier in the entire Republic Army. You would’ve been able to guess it even if Rose hadn’t told you about the curved scar on the side of his face. For the way Cody carried himself, even here, held an air of authority, of gravitas and poise.
He was talking to someone, the other person obscured by his own body. You ordered a drink, trying not to look as starstruck by the Commander as you felt.
“I’d try your luck with someone a little less ranked if I were you,” The bartender teased, catching you staring. “I’ve never once seen the Marshal Commander take up an offer to go home with somebody.”
“That’s – that isn’t my intention.” You blushed, taking the drink with a short huff. Still, you glanced at Cody again and watched him clap his hand on the shoulder of the man he’d been speaking with.
“Alright, see you around, Rex ‘ole boy. Stay out of trouble.”
Now that made you turn instantly. As Cody moved away, you were able to get a better look at the man he’d been talking to, and gods above, it was him. It was Captain Rex. Rose had told you so many stories about him that it felt strange finally seeing him in the flesh.
Rose had warned you about how much trouble you both could get in if anyone ever found out you were seeing each other. Your friendship was frowned upon enough as is, but now that it had become something more, Rose had given you the full dressing-down on what could happen to him if you were ever caught.
As such, you hadn’t ever met Rose’s superior officer, and since Rose wasn’t here…
You downed the rest of your drink quickly. There’s no reason the Captain would be suspicious of you. Besides, you wanted to meet him, get to know the man who was such a huge part of Rose’s life.
You wanted to meet his family.
“Hi.”
In truth, maybe your introduction could’ve been a little stronger. But as you sidled over to the Captain and leaned one hand on the bar, he gave you a small smile, nodding once.
“Ma’am.”
“Can I buy you a drink?”
Rex seemed surprised and looked you over carefully. He seemed to be waging a war with himself for a split second but eventually nodded.
“I don’t see why not.”
You grinned, settling into the seat beside him and waving the bartender over, tucking a hand under your chin. “What’s your name? I’m Y/N.”
“Rex.” He replied, offering his hand to shake. You repressed the urge to giggle. He was such a gentleman.
“What do you drink, Rex?”
He chuckled. “Whiskey.”
“Two of those, then.” You told the bartender. Rex’s eyebrow jumped up but you barely noticed.
“So. You must be a Captain, right? With all this fancy gear?” You said, motioning to his pauldron and kama.
“How d’you know I’m not just some ARC trooper who likes showing off?” Rex replied, smirking and leaning forward a bit.
“I’ve met an ARC trooper or two, and you don’t seem the type to boast.”
Rex chuckled again, taking his glass as the bartender returned. “You must get around, then.”
It wasn’t an insult and you didn’t take it as such. “Maybe I’m just good at making friends.”
Rex smiled and his eyes seemed to appraise you for a moment, taking all of you in, calculating. He took a swig.
“You here with any of those friends?” He asked.
“All alone, tonight.” You replied. “My friends got held up and you looked lonely. Thought I’d keep you company. It’s the least I can do for a soldier like you.”
Rex chuckled, low and sweet. “Most pretty girls don’t just find themselves in 79’s.” Rex drawled, setting his glass down again. “From what I can tell, they’re usually looking for trouble.”
He turned slightly to face you better. “Are you looking for trouble, mesh’la?”
Your heart skipped a beat. You knew that word, but didn’t know what it meant. Rose had called you that before.
“It looks like I already found it.” You replied.
Rex grinned. “Then I guess you better stay close so I can keep a proper eye on you.”
You chuckled, picking up your own drink and finally taking a sip. The whiskey burned your throat but it warmed you to the core. Rex looked impressed which was its own bonus.
“You never answered my question.” You said. “Are you a Captain?”
“I command the 501st attack battalion.” Rex said, a note of pride in his voice.
“Ah, then you must know Echo and Fives.” You prompted.
Rex seemed to age ten years at just the mention of their names. “I take it those are the ARC troopers you’ve met?” He asked. “My condolences.”
You giggled. “We played cards a few times. They’re nice but definitely a handful.”
“They’re all a handful.” Rex waved over the bartender to get another drink. “Every last one of them. That’s why none of them were allowed off base tonight.”
“Oh?” You grinned. “Do tell.”
Once he got going talking about his men, he couldn’t stop. Rex regaled you with the story of how earlier that afternoon he’d discovered his men were not only hiding a loth cat in the barracks, but it had given birth. They had managed to keep it a secret for weeks until the kittens started wreaking havoc. According to his men, Fives and Hardcase had been the ringleaders.
“That’s what they all say at least.” Rex amended. “’Course, Fives’ll take credit for just about anything. But Rose and Echo were suspiciously quiet the whole time. Kix was the only one with the good sense not to show his face in the barracks when I caught them. Still, I’ve got a feeling he encouraged the others to go along with it. Di’kuts, all of them.”
He shook his head but smiled as you laughed. “Anyway. They’re cleaning up the mess and finding natborns to rehome all the kits with. And when they finish with that, they’re supposed to take over the latrine shifts and canteen shifts for any other battalions.”
“Aw, seems a steep punishment for hiding loth cats.” You laughed.
“You didn’t see the state of the barracks.” Rex said, shaking his head slowly. “Apparently a bucket of paint got upended. They should all be scrubbing paw prints out of the durasteel right about now.”
You smiled fondly at Rex. Even as he retold the story, you could tell he was trying not to smile at the antics. It was clear he cared very deeply for his men, even if he had to be the tired parent of them all.
“Sounds like they wear you out.” You teased. “You deserve a break.”
“Are you offering me one?” Rex prompted.
You tilted your head to the side. “What do you mean?”
Rex smirked, and downed the rest of his drink. He took a deep breath, as though he was steeling himself to ask you something.
“Y/N!”
You recognized the voice and turned quickly as Rose hurried up to you. He had a small streak of blue paint across his cheek, but otherwise was beaming.
“Hey, you should’ve told me you’d be here. I went all the way to your apartment and had to backtrack -.”
He noticed the Captain a beat too late and you watched as all the color comically drained from his face. “Captain! Sir!” He snapped to attention. “I ah – I can explain…”
You glanced between Rose and Rex, your own heart pounding. Rose had all but given away the two of you were seeing each other. Rex looked at Rose before looking at you. He then turned to his glass, picking it up and making a big scene of looking it over.
“Sir…?” Rose asked nervously.
“Oh, I’m just inspecting my beverage.” Rex replied smoothly. “I must’ve been drugged you see, because surely I am not seeing my Lieutenant standing here, not when he is under strict orders to stay on base tonight.”
Rose cringed. “Yeah, sir, about that -.”
“It’s my fault.” You spoke up quickly, throwing together a lie. “Rose and I met yesterday, we’d been playing Sabacc with some of his brothers and he very kindly walked me home afterwards. I promised him drinks tonight to thank him and I wouldn’t take no for an answer.” You glanced to Rose. “He was just being a gentleman.”
Rex raised an eyebrow, glancing at Rose. “Funny.” He said. “Could’ve sworn I saw you in the weight room with Fives last night.”
“We… came here afterwards sir.” Rose lied, shifting a little closer to you, almost protective. “Ask him, he’ll say the same thing.”
“I’m sure he will.” Rex stood, picking his helmet up off the counter and knocked his knuckles lightly against the bar. “It was lovely to meet you, ma’am.” He said. “Rose?”
Your soldier stood at attention once again but Rex just put a hand on his shoulder.
“We have a briefing tomorrow morning. Oh-eight-hundred. Don’t be late.”
“Thank you, sir.” Rose was barely audible over the roar of the music in the bar. He looked like his knees would give out at any moment.
You could’ve sworn you saw Rex give Rose a little wink, but it must’ve been a trick of the light. He gave you one last nod before quietly departing.
Neither you nor Rose saw him glance back at you over his shoulder one last time before stepping out of the bar.
~
You’d lost track of how long you sat on the roof with Rex. Partially because he’d gone downstairs and returned with a bottle of your favorite whiskey and two glasses, pouring drinks for you both.
“For Rose,” Rex toasted, clinking your glasses together.
You smiled and for the first time that you could remember, Rose’s name didn’t make your heart ache. “For Rose.”
You both tossed the glasses back, that familiar burn searing your throat and chest before you shook yourself out, watching as Rex poured you both a second glass, entirely unfazed.
“He was very unsubtle about sneaking off base to go see you.” Rex told you, leaning back on one hand and closing his eyes as the breeze kissed his cheeks. “I’d give him a job and it would either be done in record time or it would’ve been passed off to somebody else. He once almost missed a debriefing because he’d spent the night with you. Skidded in right as I was about to start.” He chuckled. “I didn’t mind. He was happy. Gods know we soldiers deserve whatever happiness we can find.”
You hummed, smiling as you took another drink. “He talked about you all the time.” You said, leaning slightly against Rex’s side. “Idolized you, actually. He told me about the battles you’d been in together, how well you led your men.” You smiled to yourself, finishing your second drink and making your way towards a third. “He told me about that virus. Blue Shadow Virus, right?”
Rex hummed, getting himself another drink as well. “That was an ugly mission.”
“He said you were hovering a lot.” You teased. “Because he was always so sick when he was little. You were worried about him.”
“Brothers were dropping dead, left and right. Hells, even Commander Tano passed out at one point.” Rex recalled, shuddering to himself. “I thought we were all going to die.”
“He told me he wasn’t scared because you weren’t scared.” You smiled. “I guess you did a good job of hiding it.”
“He had way too many close calls.” Rex chuckled. “That virus almost took him out. We got rescued just in time. There was another time he was scouting with me and a few others on Saleucami -.”
“I remember that. You were shot.” You recalled and Rex chuckled.
“He really did tell you everything, didn’t he?”
“He was terrified. He told me he thought you were dead, the way you flew off the back of the speeder after getting hit..” You murmured.
“What he probably didn’t tell you is that shot just barely missed him.” Rex replied. “I’d been leading but he’d circled around me to get in front. He was goofing around with Hardcase. Bolt whizzed just an inch past his head and hit me instead. He had a blaster burn on the side of his helmet to prove it.”
You shuddered at the thought. “He didn’t tell me that part.”
“Probably also didn’t tell you that he got shot pretty good on Toydaria.” Rex replied. “Not once, but twice, once in the leg and another straight through the chest. Kix thought for sure he was a goner.”
You were familiar with those wounds. A frown pulled your lips. “He didn’t tell me. I had to find them myself.” You grumbled, still bitter. “He’d come back from the mission and told me he’d gotten hurt, but it was nothing serious.” You threw back your drink again. “Bantha shit, if I brushed against him, he winced. Finally made him show me.”
“I’m sure he got an earful after that.” Rex laughed.
“Oh, he did. And he wasn’t even that bothered that he’d nearly died, no, he was more concerned about the fact that his tattoos had been damaged by the shots. He was worried he wouldn’t be able to get new ink over the scars.” You rolled your eyes. “That man…”
“He was just trying not to worry you.” Rex smiled, taking another drink.
“I always worry.” You murmured, rubbing your thumb along the rim of your glass. “Always. About all of you. I always worried that one day Rose would come home and tell me something had happened to Fives, Echo, you… or any of the others.” You chuckled humorlessly, finishing your drink. “And then… one day you showed up at my door instead.”
A heavy silence fell between you. Rex took your empty glass, filling it up once again.
“It seems so silly.” You said. “That he should survive all of that and then just get shot and killed during a routine supply drop. I thought he was unbreakable.” You shook your head. “Guess I was wrong.”
Rex wouldn’t look you in the eye, instead focusing very intently on the glass in his hands.
“It was quick.” Rex said finally, still avoiding your eyes. “He didn’t feel anything. I promise.”
“I know.” You gave him a small, sad smile, squeezing his bicep gently. “And I guess I have that at least. At least… at least I know he didn’t suffer. He wasn’t alone or – or afraid.”
You smiled wistfully, looking out over the skyline.
“There’s a dress in my closet,” You began. “It’s nothing fancy, just a white sundress with lace around the hem and sleeves.”
Rex already seemed to know where this was going. He took a very long drink and followed your gaze out towards the skyline.
“We were going to leave together.” You said quietly. “Get married. Have a family. He had this whole, crazy plan.” You chuckled. “I’d told him I wanted to think about it. It was a big decision, he’d be on the run for the rest of his life, hiding from the Republic. And I’d be part of that.”
You glanced over at Rex. “He told me he was going to tell you. He said we could trust you. Did he ever…?”
Rex shook his head. “No. He never got the chance.”
You nodded, turning back towards the sky. “I was going to say yes.” You whispered. “I was going to go with him when he came back. We were going to run away together… It was all very romantic.” You shook your head, staring down at your glass. “And it was so stupid.”
Rex was quiet for several long moments until finally he rose to his feet, offering you his hand.
“C’mon.” he murmured. “I think that’s enough drinking for one night. Let’s get you home.”
You nodded, taking his hand and letting him pull you to your feet. You swayed. You didn’t realize how much you’d had to drink until you stumbled, falling slightly against his chest.
“The Rose Lounge owner can’t hold her liquor?” Rex teased. “Ironic.”
“Shuddup.” You mumbled, giving him a little shove. “I can walk.”
“Oh no you can’t, Tipsy. C’mere.” He crouched down slightly, and you slumped against his back. He picked you up with ease, bouncing you once to hike you higher up his back. He wrapped his arms around your legs, holding them snug against his torso while your hands wrapped around his shoulders.
“Don’t puke on me.” Rex warned, carrying you piggyback style towards the stairs.
“’M gonna fall off.” You muttered.
“No you won’t. Trust me.”
Your eyes were heavy, cheek pressed against the back of Rex’s neck and you remembered a time very long ago when another man had carried you on his back to this rooftop, and said the very same thing.
“I trust you, Rose.”
Rex was still. You hadn’t noticed your slip, your eyes already slipping closed.
“Okay.” His voice echoed. “I’ve got you.”
I’ve got you.
~
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citydreamgrls · 3 years
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they were roommates - part one
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a weasley twins x fem!reader fic 
summary: she had nowhere to go, fleeing home to pursue something along the lines of freedom, so being welcomed into the entrepreneurial twins life was a whole world of new experiences waiting to happen. 
an: i would just like to point out that this isn’t a fic with a polyamorous relationship, sorry if that was what some people wanted, instead i wanted to keep which twin is the love interest a secret until the end. if u guys want to guess after reading this first part, feel free to do so, i would love to hear your guys’ reasons too !!  secondly, i would like to say a huge huge thank you to everyone for getting me to 600 followers, that’s absolutely mad like i’m blown away beyond compare, i love u all millions and billions i really am so grateful so thank you . hope you enjoy this first part, as always, <33
words: 5,790
warnings: swearing?
None of the nights seemed to turn into excitement, but this particular Tuesday evening in the Leaky Cauldron was passing slower than the rest had done. The paintings on the walls cast their weary eyes over the few lonely drinkers scattered across the dim room as even they contemplated calling it an early night. Y/n flicked through an old magazine and wondered if this place had ever seen much action, or whether the inn had become somewhere that paintings came to rest alongside grumpy travellers.
The girl hadn’t worked behind the bar long, only a handful of months now. But since then not a single bar fight had broken out, no one ordered anything out of the ordinary, and she struggled to remember seeing a single nice man pass through the doors. Besides the Weasley twins of course, who were running late for their weekly drink.
“Slow night?” Hannah came up behind her, carrying a stack of clean glasses and placing them under the counter. The girl swiped away her magazine and nodded, doing her best to hide the guilty blush that grew on her cheeks whenever she lied. It had always been a curse.
“I can do that if you want,” She offered, taking over and letting her boss stand up straight again. There was a strange air of awkwardness between the pair, despite the fact that they had grown close since she had started working as a barmaid.
“It’s been like this a lot lately, just… empty.” Hannah huffed, pulling up two stools and letting the younger girl sit beside her for a while.
“Yeah, makes the time pass a lot slower.”
“Neville’s getting worried,” The woman chewed her lip, gazing around at the lack of people. “He thinks it won’t be long before we need to do something drastic.”
“Should I be worried?” Y/n asked, knowing everything rode on this flimsy job.
Just as the girl posed her question the two front doors burst open, revealing the Weasley twins along with two others that she recognised from their past visits.
“I’ll talk to you later darling,” The boss stood, squeezing her shoulder and going to greet the regulars who she knew so well.
As Neville appeared from the back office to do the same she was called over to the far table by a man who she’d already brought too many drinks to. With a sigh, she obeyed his whines, and went over to see what he wanted.
“About time sweet cheeksh,” He slurred, his head propped up by a weary arm while the other gestured wildly as he spoke. “Another round darling-” She nodded, taking his money from the table and turning to leave, but he reached out for her hand.
She shivered beneath his touch, the stench of bile and alcohol filling her nose as she tried not to vomit on the spot. It was best to just ride out whatever he wanted, knowing better than to anger any kind of customer.
“Why don’t you join me when you get those drinks sorted- I haven’t got another chair but I’m sure my lap would do nicely.” He grinned, showing off the layer of yellow on his teeth.
Y/n gulped back her grunt and pretended to smile, sighing with relief when he let go of her and slumped against the wall beside him. The feeling of his hand lingered on her until she managed to distract her mind a little, smiling wider when the twins came up to the bar to order.
“Evening boys,” She sniffed back the nerves and greeted them with a polite welcome. “Not giving you trouble was he?” One of them asked, nodding over to the drunken mess.
“Nothing I can’t handle,”
“Well you let us know if not,” The other chimed, their charms always making her feel comfortable around them. Which was much more than could be said for most of the creeps who roamed the inn each night.
“That’s very good of you both, thank you-” Her smile never faltered, they always had noticed that, “What can I get for you then?”
“Two hog’s heads, one rum and I’ll have…”
“Come on Fred,” The other nudged his brother, the girl finally able to differentiate them, that was until the next day when she wouldn’t be able to recognise the clothes they chose.
“Firewhiskey would be great thanks y/n,” He smiled sweetly, leaning up against the bar as she rang up their orders on the till. He delved into the pockets of his trousers as George left to speak to Neville a bit longer, placing the money in her hand. “Keep the change too,” “A-are you sure?” She stuttered, looking down at the remaining 3 galleons in her hand.
“George never tips, so consider it his debt too.” The boy scoffed, leaving to join the rest of his group. The girl pocketed the money before anyone else could see her doing so and went to fix the drunken man his seventh drink of the night.
He grumbled about how much work he did that no one appreciated, as his eyes raked over her body in a queasily slow trance. The man didn’t stop at that, further pressing her to sit on his knee and let him feel her up. Crude remarks fell from his lips as if he’d relayed them to every woman he’d come across, as if it was second nature. All the while, she stood and let him ramble on, doing her best to ignore what he was saying and just nod along mindlessly. This wasn’t even the worst one, the girl sighed to herself, grimacing at the way his fingers toyed with the hems of her skirt as if he was going to try and slither inside it.
With perfect timing, Neville called her back to the bar, faking some questions about the menu so that she had an excuse to dismiss herself from the dog’s company and scurry off. She heard him call after her, but couldn’t make out what exactly it was he was saying. The girl prayed that he was too drunk to actually get up and walk over to the bar, or else he would become truly relentless.
-
No matter what, y/n always smiled, regardless of who was talking to her or at her. And when she wasn’t dealing with the unruly men of diagon alley, she was happy, she was lucky that she had a job and somewhere to stay. She had no reason to be unhappy.
Fred and George liked that about her. That in such a dimly lit, run down little place like the cauldron, such light could shine through with her presence. Both of them had mentioned it once on their drunken walk back home one night, that they wished they could afford to hire someone else at the shop because she would be perfect for it.
Y/n always smiled because most of the time she was a happy person, until there was no reason to be happy. She discovered that dreadful sinking feeling later that night once the pub closed and the girl was finishing up with her cleaning.
Neville and Hannah were speaking in hushed voices nearby, words that she couldn’t make out over the sound of her brush swishing over the stone ground. But they continued to glance over at her when they believed she wasn’t watching, which made her heart tighten with nervous anticipation.
“Y/n… darling.” Hannah’s sweet voice sounded through the empty room, startling her slightly. The girl stood up straight and smiled, a sight which made her boss want to cry on the spot. None of this was going to be easy. “Could you come into the office with me, please.”
She followed, her hands shaky as she left the broom leant up against a lone table. The door shut behind them with a finalising jolt as the woman sat down before her, prompting her own body to do the same.
The air became thick, and constricting as her knees locked together politely. Hannah seemed just as nervous as she, delaying the inevitable by shuffling paperwork around and shoving into nearby drawers. Finally the movement ceased and she had no choice but to bite the bullet.
“I know we already spoke today, about how the business is going here, and I promise that Neville and I have tried to do everything we can to get around this. But I’m afraid we’ve been left with no other choice y/n.”
The sound of her name felt like a stab, one short sound that cut through her skin and deep into the bone. The girl dwelled on that feeling, hoping that whatever followed would hurt less in contrast. It didn’t.
“We have to let you go y/n,” The knife plunged deeper, somehow splitting open all her organs on its way through her body. She froze, knowing that in this moment her world was falling apart all around her like dominoes.
“A-and the room? I’m supposing you need it?” Her voice was wavering, constantly on the edge as she confirmed all the priorities.
“I’m so sorry,” The gesture was appreciated, but it did nothing to help in the moment as the now homeless girl’s mind raced.
“Thank you anyway, for the past few months.” It was a sudden bravery that brought her to her feet as she announced how she would pack her things right away.
In truth, she needed to be alone, just for a few minutes. So she could let it all go, cast a muffliato and sob away her worries for a small amount of precious time. Hannah didn’t dare follow her, knowing nothing could fix it for the younger girl, instead she brought the bottle of gin from the bar into the office and took long, thoughtful sips until it was no longer the only thing playing through her mind.
-
When the girl gathered her things and apparated down to the front door with them, Neville was there with a sad smile upon his face. Only giving her a brief goodbye, before swiftly leaving to busy himself with yet another maintenance job around the building. He never was one for complex emotions, so she didn’t think bad of him for escaping an awkward situation.
Y/n opened the front doors, seeing the pouring rain before her and almost bursting into yet another round of tears. Not that her red raw eyes could take it much longer. Maybe it was because she had been standing up for the good part of eight hours, or maybe just the pitiful sight of the gloomy street before her was enough to make her knees shake. As if they were going to buckle beneath her and send her crumpling to the ground.
But she shuffled forward, her trunk following behind her and she had quietly charmed it to do so. Admittedly she didn’t have a lot, when she had decided to try and live alone it had become a rushed affair to say the least. So she only owned a number of outfits within that case, along with some books and other little items she had deemed important enough to bring alone. That, and her guitar case, which loomed over her shoulder like a stalking figure in the night. The one thing she definitely didn’t have, was a coat to shelter her from the oncoming rain.
The girl walked a few steps, round the side of the building, and found a pile of crates to rest on beneath a small dripping canopy. It was dry, for now, and it gave her a chance to think properly. She needed to figure something out fast.
But y/n’s mind was full of white noise, watching puddles form between the cobbled pathway before her and thinking how she used to love the rain as a child. It had been relaxing and beautiful from the safety of her childhood bedroom, the window facing her parent’s courtyard as she watched them leave for work each morning.
Back then they would both turn and wave, with a generous smile on their faces, always reminding the young girl how they wished to see her when they returned. They were always happy when she was a child, the three of them a cacophony of laughs and giggles. Until it stopped. Her parents worked together, but never left the house together, and neither of them stopped to wave her goodbye, no matter how many times she waited for them to do so. They just stopped being happy, and as y/n shifted her weight upon the damp crates she realised that maybe her once beloved parents were never happy at all.
They became distant. To one another and to her, even more so as she grew older and became her own person. They tried to oppress it, probably seeing her joyful exterior and constant smiles and not recognising where it had come from. Not either of them. It angered them further, seeing her be such a resilient person, because they wished for her to feel the same neverending hurt they had caused one another. Regardless of the fact that it wasn’t her emotion to own.
Y/n remembered the night she was handed a file by her father, feeling stunned to have been called into his study while he was working. Often he would go inside and not appear for days at a time, so she knew whatever it was, it had to be important.
She read over the words he’d laid out for her, detailing their plans for her, what they wanted for her future. It was a plan of her life, given to her by two people who couldn’t be bigger strangers. But it wasn’t hers, it felt nothing like hers. She wanted to be someone, and she wanted to do it for herself, not because her parents feel it’s financially best.
The words, writer… and prophet echoed constantly around the page as she tried to make sense of it all. Her father barely looked up from his work as she struggled to remain calm, her lungs losing all motor function as she felt her stomach twist and turn. That was when she realised she had to leave, do something for herself.
Rain had been such a comforting thing for y/n, when she was a child. Now it covered her like a plague, and drenched her down to the bone as she did all she could to forget about that life. It had been her home, her playground, her school. It had been her whole life, without much chance to be free in the rest of the world.
Now it was nothing. She wanted it to be nothing. There had to be something she could do, there had to be somewhere she could go. Because that place was no longer an option.
“Y/n?” A voice made her head whip up, the tears on her cheeks easily disguised as the rain if it wasn’t for the way she snivelled to herself. She hadn’t even felt herself begin to cry, yet here she was, and it was a pitiful sight to see.
The light was bad in the alley, but when the two tall figures got nearer she recognised them instantly. Her heart broke a little more to see the worry in the twins’ eyes as they quickly took in the sight of her cramped body amongst her belongings.
“Are you leaving town then?” She thinks it was George, asked, he had been the one wearing a black shirt when she’d seen them earlier. The girl was in a daze, her head taking in their words a lot slower than it should have been as she begged herself not to cry in front of them.
To them, she looked like she was in a dream. Her eyes glazed over even as she glanced their way, making it look like she wasn’t really there with them. George’s question caught her off guard a bit, the girl looking as though she had forgotten where she was as she looked around her with bewilderment. Then the look of confusion fell to one of despair when it clicked once again, she was all alone.
“I suppose I am.” Even the two men could hear how her voice begged to break as she spoke with an airy tone. This was the first time they had seen her anything but bright and smiley.
It broke their hearts, in all honesty.
“Do you need somewhere to stay the night?” Fred, this time, asked. He knelt down to meet her eye level, their tall forms always towering above her at the best of times.
“We have a particularly comfy couch at our place,” George added, following suit with the kneeling.
“It’s got five star reviews,”
“And probably a few galleons hidden down the back if you’re lucky.”
Their smiles made her giggle, and it was all they could have asked for in the moment.
“That’s very kind of you,” Her sweet tone was back, like she’d taken control of her head again, “But I couldn’t ask that of you two.” It was her default to be polite, not wanting to be a burden to anyone. It was the one thing her nanny had taught her before being let go when she was twelve, not to ask anything of anyone but yourself.
“Nonsense,” Fred stood up, taking her guitar case that was leant up against the brick wall and swinging it over his shoulder.
“Really, I’ll figure something o-out - it’s fine!” She tried to protest, but the twins had already decided her fate. George lifted her trunk with ease, and Fred held out a hand for her, prompting the girl to clumsily lift herself off the jumble of crates with his assistance.
“Come on then,” They said, starting off towards the brighter part of diagon alley.
She didn’t move, Fred having let go of her as soon as she steddied herself again. They looked back at her, both frowning with the same face as she tried not to laugh at how they were so similar they even acted like one another.
“Well you better come with us-” “Or else it’ll look like we’ve robbed you!”
The girl just looked down at her feet, feeling as though they were only doing this because they couldn’t leave her out in the rain. Which was true. But the twins knew that she was someone worth helping out.
“Do you have anywhere else to go?” George asked, shifting the case into his other hand nonchalantly as they waited for her to come along with them. Silently she shook her head, embarrassed to meet their eyes as she admitted defeat.
“Then what are you waiting for?” Fred chimed in, still wearing their signature smile.
Y/n couldn’t help but return the sentiment, she didn’t have to be alone for at least one night. That was something to smile about, so she smiled. Her feet surged her body forward, a small skip noticeable as she reached the two patient men.
“We do look like we’ve just mugged you.” George laughed as they all walked through the alley and towards their shop, her little life packed away and in their hands. The girl slotted between them, having to catch up with their longer strides every now and then, as both twins chatted away as if nothing was amiss.
-
“Here’s the palace itself,” “Our pride and joy!” They announced, ushering her into the shop lined with all the products an excited teenage wizard could wish for. The shelves seemed to be full to the brim, some things piled up as a display. As haphazard and chaotic as it looked, y/n couldn’t deny that the bright colours shimmering off everything she could see instilled a happiness inside her that she rarely felt as a child. This would have been her dream when she was younger.
The twins’ shop was well known in the alley, by almost everyone who visited the leaky cauldron. Yet she had never dared step inside it herself. Most days she would have been busy with jobs around the inn, and on the off chance that she ventured around any other establishments, it was purely for essentials.
The two men watched as she scanned all that she could see from the doorway, her eyes wide and inviting with each new discovery. They would see kids come in every single day with the same reaction, yet with her it seemed new. It was if she had never seen a toy before.
“Have you eaten yet?” Fred asked, weaving through some unopened boxes to reach the stairs. Even on them there was an endless supply of treats to be found.
“I’m not hungry… thank you.” She followed behind him, slowly, with George closing up the front doors and setting up security wards.
“That wasn’t the question silly,” He laughed, catching up. “Have you eaten tonight?”
“No- but I’m really fine without.”
Once they reached the very top of the long set of stairs, past the ‘staff only’ sign, a door was kicked open in front of her. The apartment inside was a sight for sore eyes, and also the furthest thing from what y/n had envisioned on the walk there.
From how high they had gotten inside the shop, the girl presumed that the flat above had to be pokey and a lot smaller than what she was seeing. It was like a large loft, with brick walls and two levels and these huge windows that looked well over diagon alley. She could see all the lights of muggle London shining amongst the dark sheeted sky.
“My rooms up there, and George is through there.” Fred explained, nodding towards the opening to a small hallway and setting down her things in the excess of open space they had. It was comfortable.
“And here’s your bed!” The other twin exclaimed, throwing himself onto the huge sofa that stretched beneath one of the windows and came out into the room in an L shape. They weren’t lying when they said it was comfortable, because she could tell it was even by looking at it.  
“Right! I, for one, am starving.” Fred announced, walking through to the open kitchen, his footsteps echoing on the floor as he went. “What about you y/n?”
The girl was too busy staring out the window to hear him. She’d never seen the city this way before. Her old house was well out in the country, and the alley didn’t give much of a chance for enchanting views. It seemed as though this was the exception.
“Just make her something, she’s busy.” George chuckled, watching her from the sofa. The girl turned and looked at him confused, but the man just shook his head with a smile. “Nothing important,” He whispered and let her go back to the hypnotising view.
-
As they sat down to eat together, George asked y/n many questions about her life, determined to learn all he could about her in one evening.
“Let her swallow first will you!” Fred huffed, passing her a glass of water so she didn’t choke in the process.
“I was homeschooled all my life, well- up until I moved really.” The girl smiled politely, trying not to go into too much detail with her answers. The two men were so kind, though, that it was hard not to tell them everything she’d been holding in. “So you didn’t finish it all?”
“I left before I got the chance to,”
They nodded in understanding, but she could see the cogs turning in their heads as they both took another bite of their food, all in unison. She snickered a little, enjoying the way they effortlessly put on a show with their mannerisms.
“Did you run away!” They both cried out, startling her as she sat across from them.
“W-well… I um- yes I d-did really.” A wry laugh sounded as she spoke, an out of place sound amongst the shock that displayed over Fred and George’s faces.
“Woah, did something bad happen?”
“George! You can’t just ask that- you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to y/n.” Fred rolled his eyes at his brother, but the girl felt a sense of relief that they asked, it felt nice to have the chance to tell someone after keeping it to herself all this time. It felt more out of place to not tell them.
“It’s okay,” She chuckled at them both, “My parents weren’t very happy people, and they both kind of kept their lives centered around work. I had no problem with it, either than the lack of freedom I had at home, but it changed when they basically showed me a plan for my life.”
The twins listened intently, nodding along with her words and silently reacting accordingly. They both frowned with the last bit, never hearing of someone having their lives planned out for them before.
“They planned your life? Isn’t that a bit, you know-”
“Controlling,” Fred finished, a look of pity on his face.
“We had different ideas, they wanted me to be a writer at the prophet when I’d shown no interest in journalism or even writing before.”
“That’s mad,” George said in a hushed tone, not wanting to cut her off.
“It was then that I realised the only way I was going to do what I wanted, was if I left. So I just packed my things and came here, hoping to find somewhere to stay with what little money I had. Hannah was nice enough to take me in free of charge, so long as I worked behind the bar for it.”
“Both her and Neville really are saints.” “It’s so much better than I could have asked for, but now they can’t afford it. It’s all understandable, it’s just a pain that I can’t ask my parents for help.”
All the while that she recalled her story, the girl smiled, reminding the men that she was a lot stronger than people might assume. Given what she’d been through, it was amazing that she hadn’t broken down already.
“We’ll figure something out for you, all of us.” Fred smiled, glad to see colour in her cheeks now that she was in the warmth of their loft compared to the drizzly alleyway.
“It’s not the end of the world if your parents don’t support you either, there’s plenty more people in the world who will.” George reassured her, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
“Oh godric yeah,” Fred joined in, “Our folks went bloody mental when they heard this was what we wanted to start up instead of finishing at hogwarts.”
“Do they like it now?” She asked cautiously, feeling a little better knowing that they too skipped out on their academic life.
“They have to, given how well we’ve done.” “It is hard to deny our success,” They chimed like songbirds, the passion they had for their self made business shining through their wide eyes.
It was no surprise that the three of them got on, but as the night progressed quicker than they thought, the new trio found themselves with no awkward silences. The clock above them looked as though it had been enchanted when George finally glanced up at it, amazed to see that they’d been chatting for four hours already.
Only when y/n yawned did the two twins decide it was maybe time to call it quits.
“It’s getting late,” Fred spoke up, not wanting to keep the girl from her much needed sleep. It must have been a long day for her. “I’ll grab you some blankets.”
As he disappeared up into his room to look for something to keep her cosy all night, the girl helped George clear away their mess from dinner.
“I feel awful,” She smiled politely, handing him more plates to place into the sink that was doing all the work for them.
“What for?” The man seemed genuinely surprised.
“We spent all that time talking, but we never decided on what to do with me.” She scoffed, feeling like a child needing their help. “I promise I won’t hang around much longer, I’ll sort something out.”
“Like what?” He didn’t mean to sound harsh, it was more to show her that they were her only option right then.
“I-I’m not sure… sorry.” “Don’t be sorry, we want to help you.”
The door to Fred’s bedroom opened again and they fell into silence, the girl slipping back into the mindset that she was growing into a burden for them. She couldn’t ask anymore of them, they’ve already done enough for her. Then and there, y/n decided she would leave in the morning.
“Bed’s ready!” The shout came from the living room, where blankets had been laid over the sofa beneath the window. “Thought you would enjoy the view here.” Fred added when she came out to see his masterpiece.
“That’s hardly a bed!” George scoffed, laughing at the copious amount of cushions he’d left for her head, all different colours and sizes.
“It’ll be perfect, thank you.” She smiled, her eyes sparkling under the city lights that spilled into the room. It didn’t even matter that they would reflect against the ceiling as she slept, it looked like stars.
“As long as you like it then,” George muttered, eyeing his brother who clung onto a smug grin.
“Goodnight y/n, sleep well.”
“Night y/n.” They both smiled, turning to head off to their respective rooms as she opened up her case to look for something to sleep in.
“Night Fred, night George… thank you again, for all of this.” They both nodded at her words and disappeared, leaving her to change in the dark loft, only a small lamp beside her lighting her way to the sofa.
She clicked it off, casting lumos and stumbling over the fluffy rug to curl beneath the many layers of covers that Fred had left her. The girl chuckled to herself, peeling one off and folding it in a neat pile on the floor. Two would be just fine for one night.
It didn’t take long for her to drift off to sleep, the whole day’s nonsense catching up on her and slipping her body into a mini-coma. Her mind ran and slowed all at once, memories of nights she would spend in her childhood bed, reading books for hours on end until she’d fall asleep with the pages sprawled open beside her.
Many nights she would hear her parents scream at one another, that harrowing wailing sound would echo for hours until both of them grew tired and they decided to sleep apart yet again. That’s when she knew she could relax, she could finally do all the things that she wouldn’t have time for in the day between her tutor’s classes and meaningless chores.
She had been a night owl, revelling in the time she got to be truly alone, when the house slept she would come alive. Now, she couldn’t stay awake even if she wanted to. She needed to sleep, and fast.
Y/n vaguely heard a door opening and closing, unsure whether it was real or her mind replaying memories all too vividly. Either way, her eyes were far too heavy to open themselves and check. It could wait.
-
Fred cursed himself for not catching his bedroom door behind him, the noise booming across the loft. He waited, frozen at the top of the steps, watching to see if the girl would rouse at the sound. But he was in luck, she didn’t move a muscle.
He padded down to the bottom, making sure each step was lighter than the last as he headed into the small corridor. George jolted awake the second his door was opened, reaching for his lamp to see who was intruding on his sleep.
“What the fuck!” He almost shouted.
“Shut up! She’s sleeping in there!” Fred hissed, walking over to the empty side of the bed and sitting down calmly.
“So was I you git- what the hell are you doing, since when did we start sleeping together?”
“Disgusting-”
“I didn’t mean that,” George rubbed his eyes with a grimace and reluctantly sat up, “What do you want then?” His voice finally hushed to match his brother’s.
“I have an idea,” Fred started.
“Yes,” “Well, I’ve been thinking about y/n-” “If this is you coming to tell me about another sex dream, I don’t wanna know, okay?”
“Will you just shut up and listen to me,”
“Fine, fine, go on.” He pulled the covers over his bare chest, feeling suddenly exposed to the cold night’s air.
“Well, we’ve been saying for ages that we need someone to work in the shop, except we can’t really afford it right now.” Fred explained, and George nodded along. “Look, y/n needs somewhere to stay, but she would never stay here without giving us some sort of payment, right?” The man’s head looked like it was on a spring as he took in the words. “So, why don’t we let y/n stay here with us and in return she can help out in the shop?”
“Do you think she’d agree to that?” “It was basically the same agreement she had with Neville and Hannah, except we have no reason to get rid of her.”
“I suppose so,” He didn't sound overly convinced.
“She needs somewhere to stay, we need someone to work, it’s a win-win situation!” Fred exclaimed, smiling like a mad man to try and convince his brother that their plan could work out.
“Okay, fine. We can ask her in the morning.”
“Great, I knew you’d say yes.” “Well it’s not like she’s the worst person to live with, it hardly took much to sway me.”
“Not the worst person? Come on George, she’s great!” Fred, admittedly, got a bit too excited at this. His voice ringing out louder than he’d wanted it to.
“You have had a sex dream haven’t you?” “Oh shut up!” “Was she in it,” George teased, prompting his brother to get up and head for the door. “So i’m taking that as a yes.” He turned the light off, hearing one last hiss from Fred before the door shut behind him.
“Aren’t you forgetting the time you had a sex dream about Mcgonnogall?” Fred quipped, leaving quickly as not to get a beating up from the other twin, who was mentalling cursing himself for ever revealing that fact when they were drunk one time.
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nightshade-minho · 3 years
Text
MOONSTORM [ iii ]
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You know that feeling when you know you’ve made a terrible mistake?
Yes. That feeling.
It’s a feeling that never really goes away. You had to learn that the hard way.
Irrevocable actions, stupid mistakes. You were heart-wrenchingly familiar with all of it.
To err was human apparently. You...weren’t human, though.
It seems like being superhuman was insignificant, after all. At the end of the day, nothing mattered. None of your powers did.
Despite it all, you still lost him.
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warnings: depressing shit (it gets better though dw) mentions of death, violence, sexual content, future smut
wc: 2.8k
moonstorm masterlist
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It felt like the world had lost all color.
It had happened so many months ago, and yet it still felt like it happened just yesterday. The memories of stumbling out of his lair, covered in his blood and your tears, still fresh in your mind.
The image of his face, betrayed and yet so calm as he uttered those last words to you...it haunted you constantly.
You found yourself looking at the moon every night, dreaming about what could have been. The nightmares endlessly plagued your sleep as well, causing you to fear even your own bed.
No...even after Hyunjin's effects on you wore off, your own brain took on the responsibility of torturing you by conjuring up more heartbreaking dreams. Dreams which made you long for something you knew you’d lost forever- never to be yours again.
You never truly realized how much you’d gotten used to having him around. Life was so glaringly empty and meaningless without him. It was a complicated relationship…and yet it still left a giant hole in you. An all-encompassing despair that threatened to swallow you up.
With him gone, it just didn’t feel right to be a superhero anymore. How could you be the strong role model for everyone in the city to rely on when you knew just how weak you’d become? Even when the newspapers were covered with your heroics, even as the mayor addressed the city and expressed his desire to give you a medal for stopping yet another supervillain from roaming the streets- you stubbornly refused to don that costume ever again.
You stayed hidden through it all. You just couldn’t bring yourself to go out in public anymore. Your vigilante costume lay forgotten in the back of your closet- crumpled and sad.
It just...felt wrong. At the moment you felt nothing but pathetic. You didn’t have time to waste saving a snotty kitten stuck on a tree or stop a petty criminal from robbing a bank- all you were fit to do was eat ice cream straight from the can, and watch a soulless movie. The same routine, day in and day out. You hadn’t left your apartment in nearly a month, not even to buy groceries. Every second was spent wrapped up in blankets, pondering what you’d done.
Was that selfish of you? Probably. You were discovering new flaws by the second.
Sighing, you sat up a little, your ass almost numb from how long you’d spent lying down. Glancing up, you saw your father’s portrait looking down at you. You swallowed and slowly stood up from your bed, groaning to yourself. Why did he suddenly seem so disappointed?
Maybe a little bit of fresh air is what you needed, considering you were starting to believe the paintings were changing expressions. After all, you had work to do anyway- might as well take advantage of the nearby café’s free WiFi.
***
Here at last.
You sat down in the corner of the café, so tired you could barely move a muscle. But you had to get a move on with your life- the recovery should have happened by now.
And yet here you were, months later. Nothing seemed to be able to fill the hole he left behind, and even now you wished you could go back home as soon as possible.
Had it...had it been a mistake?
Of course it had. Your misery was evidence, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could convince yourself that you’d done it for the good of the city.
The truth was... Hwang Hyunjin scared you.
He made you feel things, made you want to be someone else entirely. Every ounce of rigidity and austerity you’d imposed in yourself disappeared every time you were with him. He made you want to give everything up- give up all the responsibilities and burdens you carried on your shoulders to be with him. To be like him- free.
It wasn’t Hyunjin who was a threat to the city. No, not directly.
It was you- or rather the lack of you.
This city needed you to survive, and if Hyunjin managed to change you...it surely wouldn’t have lasted long without your help. Hyunjin had never really been the city’s biggest threat- there were far worse villains and it was them who you really fought against.
He was more of just an inconvenience, someone you had to deal with from time to time. And then he’d struck that deal- after which the nature of your relationship had turned into something entirely different.
Every time he acted up, it was usually just a ploy to get your attention. And attention was exactly what he got. You’d reinforced his behavior like an idiot.
You told yourself it was a chore, but it wasn’t all that convincing. You’d loved spending those nights in his bed, loved the way he was an expert at making you come undone with his body and his words.
It really had seemed like a good idea at the time. The right thing to do. However, it was quickly starting to seem like anything but.
You sighed as your mind tried its best not to travel back all those months. Dipping a teabag into the liquid, you mindlessly observed the customers in the cafe. Many of them were young, teenagers who were heading out before class.
You sighed as you recalled your own high school days, the times Hyunjin and you had hung out in a cafe much like this one.
“You don’t have to help me with this project, you know.”
“Ah, shush. It’s our final year. I’m not going to leave you alone.” He smiled as he flipped through his books, taking a sip of his coffee occasionally.
“You act like you’re not sticking to me like white on rice the rest of the year.” You roll your eyes, chuckling to yourself.
“Don’t get snippy with me, missy.” He smirked, still thumbing the pages nonchalantly. “Or I’ll have to punish you.”
“You- I- what?” You wouldn’t admit it, but the thought caused a fluttering sensation in more than one place. It was a little bit of a shock, considering the two of you had done nothing more than make out and flirt, until now.
“Chill. I’m kidding.” He shook his head, looking up at you. “Unless…” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Stop it! I’m supposed to be working right now.” You whined, swatting him with a rolled up paper.
“I don’t care.” He tapped his fingers on the table. “Hm...do you know what I’m thinking of right now, Y/n?”
“W-what?”
“Thinking about how easy it would be to slip my fingers under your skirt and play with that pretty pussy of yours. I’m pretty sure it’s soaked your underwear through by now.”
Fuck.
Your cheeks flushed as you stared at your plate. You couldn’t find it in yourself to respond properly- his mere words had already turned you to a mess.
“S-shut up.” You mumbled, reading out formulas aloud as you tried to divert your attention from it. Hyunjin let out a teasing chuckle at your lame attempt to change the topic, shaking his head as he stared at his book again, unaware you were looking over your own at him, pressing your thighs together subtly.
God, he was so...so annoying.
You snapped out of it, sighing as you looked around at the much less crowded cafe. Had it always looked so dull? So lifeless?
The thought of him was hurtful- it felt like a dull knife, screwing itself into you. Reminding you what you’d done.
You’d killed the love of your life.
And now? There was no way to bring him back.
***
“Murder is never something a superhero should resort to. A good hero always stays true to themselves- they only kill if it’s absolutely necessary.”
A cough.
“But of course...villains are exempt from that rule. Killing one villain’s life could save countless others.”
Hm. You weren’t exactly sure if your father was right. Although you were just a child, you still had some knowledge of morality.
Was he? Killing just...seemed wrong. You didn’t know if you could bring yourself to do it, no matter how evil the person was.
“Surely there are other ways to neutralize someone evil, Father?”
He narrowed his eyes at you, before shaking his head coldly. “Untrue.”
“The truth is, some lives are expendable, my dear Y/n…” Another cough, before he cleared his throat and fixed his gaze back on you.
“You must always look for the greater good.”
***
You still remembered the day you first met Hyunjin.
He was 13, and you were just a little younger. Your families were good comrades and allies, so your eventual meeting had already been planned.
The two of you were in the living room with everyone else as they talked to each other, mingling and chattering like adults usually did. Hyunjin and you made an unanimous decision to sneak out to the rooftop, and get to know each other better.
“So...our parents are allies now, hm? This means we’re going to see each other a lot more.”
“Of course we are! We’re both prodigies, like my dad and your mom...we inherited their powers, so they’re obviously going to want to cultivate those.”
“You speak pretty fancy for a 12 year old.”
“Hey, so do you! Besides, we’re gifted, aren’t we?”
“Hm.” He sighed, swinging his legs and inhaling. After a few seconds of silence, he spoke up again.
“Do you actually like having these powers?”
“Oh? Well, yeah...I do...my father tells me stories of his days as a superhero. I want to help people, just like him.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d much rather live a normal life. Get a normal job, find someone to love, and have a normal marriage in a normal town.”
You pressed your lips together. “To each their own, I guess. Personally, I just want to get rid of all the evil in the world and make my father proud.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“Evil…” He tapped his chin. “How does one even know the difference between good and evil?”
You raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? I’m pretty sure it would be obvious in every situation.”
“I disagree. The distinction is blurry. No one knows for sure, and definitely not at first glance.” He sighed. “I would know.”
You brought your knees to your chest as you observed the city below. “Well, I guess you’re right…” you paused, your heart feeling a little heavy for some reason.
“Do you know?”
“The line between good and evil is thin, Y/n. I can’t say I know for sure. But do you know what will always help you remember?”
“What?”
“Your heart.” He said softly, glancing at you and offering you a small smile.
“Just do whatever feels right...trust yourself.”
***
You sighed and shut your laptop.
Home. You needed to go home, cause your heart ached too much. You definitely weren’t ready to go back to work yet. You hadn’t done anything productive today really, just drink coffee and reflect on your actions. Regretting....regretting it all.
It’d been wrong. The wrong choice, the wrong decision.
You knew that, now. There could have been another way. You shouldn’t have rushed into it like that...how could you?
You felt a surge of hatred towards yourself engulf you. It was all your fault, this pain you were feeling. You didn’t have anyone to direct this immense anger towards except yourself. You realized this little fact in horror, your heart clenching as you wished things could have been different.
Finishing off your coffee, you placed a few bills on the table as you left the café, heading home. Ready to burrow under the blankets again, wallow in your self pity and pain. There wasn’t much else to do except succumb to acceptance.
You made your way down the street, humming the saddest song you knew under your breath.
All of a sudden, you felt eyes burning into your back. Your own eyes widening slightly, you turned around quickly-
But there was no one there.
Weird. Sighing, you decided to go back to going over your plans for tonight in your mind.
Maybe watch a movie in hopes of triggering some sort of emotion in you...or maybe take a bath, light some candles and listen to depressing music- shit.
It happened again. Someone was following you- you could feel it. Uncomfortable, your breathing slowly started getting heavier as you tried to formulate some kind of plan in your head-
The next thing that happened was so sudden you barely registered it for a second.
Your hand was gripped, so tightly you felt it would bruise. Aggressive, shocking and swift as lightning- it took several seconds before you realized someone was trying to kidnap you.
“Stop! Leave me alone!”
Struggling against the person holding you, you caught a glimpse of the masked man and decided to scream, hoping to gain some attention from somebody, anybody. There was no way this was happening, not right now. Your day had already been bad enough, why was the universe so intent on rubbing salt in your wounds?!
The urge to fight had never been stronger. Yet there was no strength left in your body. You couldn’t fight back against this man- he was taller than you and somehow even matched you in strength. Unless you exposed your powers, there was no way you would get yourself out of this predicament. Somehow you managed to smack him with your arm weakly, making him hiss.
“Let me go, please!”
The coffee cup fell out of your hand, brown liquid spilling all over the ground as you were pulled into the dark alley so quickly, no one would notice. Your eyes darted about in panic, trying to work out a possible escape route when the masked man caged you in, his arms on either side of you.
A horrible sense of déjà vu enveloped you. It’s all you can do to not scream, trying to keep yourself calm so that you could escape.
It’s ok, breathe in...and concentrate.
The heat within you started to crackle, your palms beginning to burn up gradually.
Your eyes blinked as you decided to try and take a good look at the person holding you. Their head was covered with a black mask, their finger held over their mouth as they ran their eyes over your distressed expression.
Inhale. Exhale.
“What the fuck are you doing?” You hissed, staying still and pretending to give up the struggle. “Unhand me now, or you’ll regret it, trust me-“
“Shh! Y/n, please…” He shushed you, his voice shaky.
You stopped in your tracks.
Huh?
That voice…
“I’ll explain... but first we need to get out of here, fuck-” He looked from side to side quickly, scanning his surroundings.
Shit. Why does that voice sound so familiar?
“Who- who are you?!” You managed to get out, the heat fading away as deep, panicked confusion took over you instead.
There was a small sigh as your assailant stood up a little straighter, groaning. And then, his fingers deftly pulled the mask off, clutching it in his hands tightly.
Golden locks spilled out, a handsome visage coming into view. Plump lips and beautiful eyes, looking oh so familiar.
No.
No.
It couldn’t be. This wasn’t happening. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the actual fuck was going on?
It’s him.
But it can’t be.
How? It’s not possible-
You’re definitely losing your mind.
The man’s breathing got quicker as he watched your expression morph from fear into one of pure, electric shock.
“I know you’re shocked, Y/n, but please listen to-“
Your chest started heaving, quickly rising and falling as your heart pounded against your rib cage.
This...could not be happening. What was this? Was this a nightmare? Yet another sick, twisted dream? He couldn’t be standing right in front of you...it was impossible. No. No no no no no no no.
It was all too overwhelming, and your brain and body seemed to agree on that. Your mind swam, your thoughts all over the place as you felt yourself sway on your feet.
“This- I-“ You stumbled over your words, tears slipping past quickly as you tried to form words to express what you felt.
Pain. Searing pain, taking over, spreading from head to toe.
Your breathing slowed as the world suddenly went black, Hyunjin’s shouts in the background fading away...until there was nothing but silence.
Pure, unadulterated silence.
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fortisfiliae · 4 years
Text
Promised Part 11 - Tom Riddle x reader
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Masterpost | Masterlist
Summary: In this story, Tom didn’t grow up as an orphan, but with his grandfather and uncle. Reader’s sister got very sick and the Gaunts offer their help. But not without asking for something in return.
Disclaimer: Please be aware that I don’t condone any of this in real life. (GIF is not mine)
Warnings: Arranged marriage, an unholy amount of fluff
Word count: 2.5k
A/n: This chapter is written partially from Tom’s POV and the reader will be addressed in third person. The POV shift starts in the second half, after the divider, just so you know :)
Part 11 - The Earth’s Centre
Starting to brew the antidote for Mors Grano happened to be easier than you had anticipated. The potion’s base was quite similar to any other healing draught, and so was its production. You had decided to begin the laborious process, even though the Banshee tears were missing. According to the recipe, they were the last ingredient to be added, so you still had a lot of time to find them, even if you still didn’t quite know how.
For the first few weeks, there was nothing more to do than letting the Moondew cook and stir it frequently. The cauldron stood in Tom’s room, its content simmering steadily, ready to be examined at any given moment by one of you. 
Professor Beery had denied you the bonus points for the N.E.W.T.s after you had told him that the Moly had unfortunately died. Those points were the least of your problems, however.
The plant had, in fact, bloomed beautifully, ready to be added to the potion.
And that was when the difficulties began. As soon as you let the blossoms fall into the cauldron, the potion started to smell. Very strongly. The mixture reacted in a way that wasn’t described in the book and started to produce yellow steam, as well as a sour, headache-inducing scent, which reached beyond the walls of Tom’s room. The fume filled up every last inch of his dorm and even seemed to creep out into the Slytherin common room. Other students had started mentioning the weird smell and even Dippet, who had paid Tom a number of unfortunate surprise visits, started to get suspicious.
You had sent your parents an owl to inform them that you wouldn’t come home during your semester break. They weren’t exactly happy about it; you had never stayed at Hogwarts during the holidays after all. But you had insisted, telling them there was so much studying to do until they finally let go. That wasn’t even a lie. There was a bunch of work to do. Granted, not all of it was related to school, but you still had a lot on your plate. 
Tom stayed in Hogwarts for the week as well. You weren’t sure but highly doubted that he had notified his own family about it. And to be fair, they wouldn’t really care about that, would they?
Even though the school was practically empty and only a mere fraction of students stayed along with you, those who did stay complained about the biting smell in all of Slytherin’s dormitories. On Sunday evening you heard that the housekeeper had been sent to seek out the source and Tom was informed that Mr Carpe would start his search the next morning.
So there you were, worrying about what to do, stirring the cauldron for the twentieth time within the last minutes, hoping it would steam less, the more you whisked through it. No matter how hard you concentrated, how many options you took into account, there was nowhere you could possibly drag the cauldron to, where its scent would go unnoticed. 
The Potions classroom was off-limits, even though it was much better equipped for the fumes. Slughorn would spend a lot of his time there, to prepare tasks for the upcoming semester. You had even considered taking it home and telling your parents about it. But using the Floo-Network with an item this heavy wasn’t possible, and taking the train with a simmering cauldron seemed ridiculous. Besides that, the antidote still took months to finish, so you would have to take it back to Hogwarts a week later anyway.
Hell, you had even thought about taking that damned kettle out onto the Quidditch pitch or into the forest, so no one would smell it anymore. But you couldn’t leave it out in the open, of course.
The moment you had given up all hope and realised that you couldn’t go on brewing the potion in Tom’s room, or anywhere else, he had told you about another possibility. There was this room on the seventh floor he had discovered in fifth grade. He called it the Come and Go Room and he was positive that no one besides him, not even the teachers, knew of its existence. The room must have been enchanted, according to Tom, and only appeared when you were in dire need.
So the two of you went there the same night, in a cloak and dagger operation, levitating the cauldron behind you. You had covered it with a white sheet so that if someone saw you, they at least wouldn’t know initially what you were doing. The disguise was weak and you knew if Dippet or any other teacher would spot you, you would be screwed.
Luckily none of them was there when you rushed through the halls, aside from Warren O’Connor, a Ravenclaw fifth year, who patrolled on a corridor next to their tower. He was too far away to detect the poorly hidden cauldron and didn’t even seem to look at you after he had recognised Tom. 
When you had finally arrived, chest heaving, thoughts rushing from relief and tension, Tom instructed you how to summon the Come and Go Room. You walked past the stone wall three times and imagined, very carefully, what you needed. An airtight room that allowed you to keep on brewing your potion in peace, that no one would be able to find unless you wanted them to. Suddenly, a door appeared. You looked at Tom and he nodded before you took the handle and opened it.
The small room behind the door was, simply put, perfect. Your very own Potions laboratory. Dark and nifty, it offered enough little cabinets to store all the ingredients for the antidote, as well as a worktop to put the cauldron on. Everything looked as if it had been custom made, just for this purpose. Which it was, you had just created it all yourself. 
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Now that the cauldron was in a safe place Tom felt more at ease and actually thought that the semester break could turn out to be enjoyable. Why did that relax him, though? A question he had asked himself more than once. He didn’t have to care, nor did he have to help his fiancée to save her sister. Then why had he done it? 
He didn’t have a logical answer to that question, even though the illogical one seemed to wave at him from the back of his head. He shrugged it off. But there were so many questions of the same kind running through his mind. Why did he care? He had never cared before. For anyone. That girl wouldn’t bring him where he wanted to be just by marrying him. Sure, her family was respected. Of course, they were purebloods, which was why his Grandfather had taken notice of them. But it had never been Tom’s wish to marry her. So why didn’t he mind the thought anymore? The idea of seeing her walking down the aisle had repelled him immensely when he had found out what Marvolo’s plan had been. And now it didn’t. He had gotten used to the idea. It even bugged him to think about the fact that the marriage wouldn’t happen by chance if the antidote was finished soon enough. Then why did he help her?
There was something inside of him, something that he couldn’t just pinpoint yet. Something that made him do the things he had done, even when it had gone against his own benefit. Something that made him care less and less about himself. It must have turned all of his morals upside down, because somehow, and he couldn’t explain why, the most important thing was seeing her happy. He didn’t even know when his priorities had changed. When he had stopped putting himself first. But it had happened. And that irritated him beyond belief.
She had been so easy to dislike. Back then, when they were sitting in her dining room alone. When she had stared at him, eagerly waiting for him to feel sorry for her. So conceited. Desperate for his attention. But then again, she had been so easy to like. When had he started giving in? At first, he had been nothing more than disgusted. Appalled of the uproar that had gone on inside his head. That nasty feeling in his chest and his weak knees. But once he had surrendered, it had begun to feel good.
All he wanted - no - all he needed now, was to make sure she was safe. Protect her. Help her. That wasn’t just an act of kindness though. He had figured out that apparently, he mirrored her emotions. When she was pleased, he was too. When she was angry, he couldn’t help but feel furious as well. When she was sad, his chest stung with her. It felt like a purpose. Like she was the earth’s centre and everyone else, even himself, merely spun around her. She had his full attention now and he didn’t plan on taking it from her anytime soon. 
If someone were to ask him why, he wouldn’t even know where to begin. How does one describe the meaning of everything? He could start with her glow. That devotion she seemed to radiate anywhere she was. Her relentless spirit and how ready she was to combat anyone with it. How tender she was with people that deserved it. And how ruthless she could be with the ones who didn’t. The way she moved in her sleep, slowly and gently, turning over and unknowingly stealing his blanket at least twice a night. The way her chest moved up and down when she lay next to him. How her eyes seemed to light up when she awoke and looked at him. The hours he had watched her. Held her. Felt her skin brushing against his own, just like in this moment. How could anyone experience that and not have the urge to keep it? To freeze those moments in time and lock them up, safely, for nobody to see. 
Tom wasn’t sure if she was aware of how nervous she made him. He knew how to hide it, but was ever so annoyed at how much he depended on being close to her. And he usually wasn’t the one to become jittery. That was the response he normally got. Freda Morris, for example, couldn’t seem to think straight when he had taken her out once, during their sixth year. Merlin’s beard, that lass was nerve wrenching. 
Quite contrary to her. No one had ever done that to him. She had crawled under his skin and into his head, drugging his mind until almost every single thought he produced revolved around her. But he knew his place. She hadn’t befuddled him just to make him her pawn. He knew because that was what his family had done ever since he could remember. She had never done him wrong. Maybe that was why he had helped her. And why he was willing to do anything for her, even if it meant for him to suffer. He was the antagonist in their story. And if he was poison, she was the remedy. If he was the villain, she was the treasure worth saving. 
Tom’s pitiful monologue was interrupted when she woke up, opened her eyes and looked at him.
“Morning,” she said quietly and smiled.
He looked at her for a moment. If only she knew. 
“Morning,” he replied.
She stretched her arms in the air and yawned, then turned towards him and ran her fingers along his jawline. Bliss.
“How long have you been awake?” she asked, staring at the stubble on his chin that her thumb had just touched.
“Not long,” he lied. “Just a few minutes.”
She grinned and placed a kiss onto the left end of his lips. “I have to get up and stir the potion. Care to join me?”
“Sure,” he nodded.
“Good. Oh, and I think I’m going to go to Diagon Alley in the afternoon. To buy the Foxgloves. I have to add them next week.”
“I’ll come.”
She exhaled and pulled him in, nuzzling into his neck. 
“Do you think we should go to Knockturn Alley as well?” she asked, her voice muffled. “While we’re there. I want to see if any store offers Banshee tears.”
“I don’t think they do,” Tom said and she lifted her head to look at him.
“But where else then?”
“I think I know where we could get some.”
She nodded, urging him to tell her.
“Well, I’m sure Morfin owns a flask. He had to get it if he wanted to brew the antidote, didn’t he?”
“But if they never planned on curing Elsie entirely, I don’t think he would have gotten them.”
“Marvolo never planned on curing her,” Tom said. “Morfin did. He’s a Potions master. One that doesn’t care about legality. He knows every last person that deals with ingredients like that. Even if he never intended to free her, I’m sure he got them just in case he ever needed them for himself.”
Her eyes roamed his face while she thought about it. “So what can we do now? Go to your house, search his chamber and steal the flask?”
Tom shook his head. “That won’t be as easy. They’re always home, Marvolo has his eyes everywhere. Even the house-elves would alarm him.”
She frowned, brows furrowed while she lightly tugged on his hair.
“They’ll be gone,” Tom went on. “In late March. The Order of Merlin gets honoured and they are both invited. We could go then and try to find it.”
There it was again. That spark in her eyes. 
“Okay,” she answered. “Let’s do it then. But for now, let’s stay in bed for five more minutes.”
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Masterpost | Masterlist
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imkylotrash · 3 years
Text
Hidden Truths
Pairing: Hardin Scott x reader (Platonic)
Summary: Can you write something where the reader learns she was kidnapped at birth and Hardin helps her through the trauma? Anonymous
Warnings: Angst, kidnapping, trauma, mentions of miscarriage. Let me know if there are more. 
A/N For this one Hardin stayed in England with his mom. Also one of the hardest concepts I’ve ever tried writing. 
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It starts out as a joke. You just want to know more about your ancestors and there’s this trend going around that you send in your DNA and it tells you all about where you come from. The 5% Ireland doesn’t surprise you. Frankly, you expected that part. It’s the 80% Canadian that surprises you. Your family hasn’t left England for centuries. You did a family tree as a school project in 3rd grade and you know your roots are English and somewhat Irish. Why would the test tell you that you’re from Canada? 
“Mom? Do we have any family in Canada?” Her hesitation last only a moment but you notice it all the same. 
“No, honey. We’ve never even been to Canada.” Your mom has a tell. She always lift her right eyebrow slightly whenever she’s lying to you. It’s something you picked up along the way when you watched her lie to her clients. Over the next few days you can’t shake the feeling that there’s something about Canada you need to discover. 
“Maybe you’re adopted?” Hardin speculates. You’re lying on his bed while he’s placed himself in his desk chair. 
“Don’t say that. My parents are my parents.” 
“It’s possible. You said your mom had a weird reaction.” You hate that he’s making sense. You don’t want to believe that you’re adopted. This family is all you have and to find out it may be based on a lie would destroy you. 
“But if they won’t tell me anything, I’ll never know.”
“So quick to give up?” Hardin asks with a smirk turning his laptop on. You can hear his mom rummaging downstairs and you wonder if she knows something. If maybe your mom told her something over a cup of coffee while 10-year-old you and Hardin played out in the yard. 
“We could always look it up. Maybe you can access your file. If you have one.” He starts searching google for adoption agencies in Canada and even though you’re not remotely ready to consider you might be adopted, you still peek over his shoulder to see what he finds. 
“If there is a file, it’s probably closed. I mean, all the shows always say those kind of cases are closed.” 
“You mean TV-shows?” he chuckles not even looking up, “what the hell?” In an instance, you’re right next to him. 
“What? What is it?” It’s an old article of a baby that was kidnapped. You look at the date only to realise that it’s your birthday. The baby was kidnapped the same day you were born. But that’s not the weirdest part. It’s the photo of what the baby would approximately look like now. It’s the spitting image of you. The article mentions a birthmark on the hip. The exact same place as your birthmark. 
“This is seriously freaky,” Hardin comments. You tell him to close the article and pretend you didn’t find it. It’s too much information and you need to talk to your parents. But when it comes down to it, you’re too scared. It takes you weeks before you feel ready to do something. You’re terrified of the truth, of realising that your parents not only weren’t your biological parents, but that they kidnapped you as a baby. Who even does that? 
“I think I need to find out,” you tell Hardin one day. He buys plain tickets to Canada within an hour. You lie to your parents as you’re packing your bag hoping that the universe forgives you. It’s not that you want to lie to them, but they’re not being truthful and you don’t trust them to tell you. In less than 24 hours you’re standing at the Canadian airport trying to catch a taxi. You don’t even know what you’re going to tell these people but all too soon you’re standing at the address mentioned in the article. 
“I’m right here next to you. Just say the word and we’ll get out of here.” You’re so thankful for his support even if you don’t have the words to tell him right now. You knock on the door and your possible birth mom opens up. Her reaction is instant. Tears fill her eyes. 
“Oh God,” she whispers almost reaching out to touch you. 
“I found an article online of a baby that was kidnapped.” You hold up the picture with shaking hands. This may be nothing but you need to know. You need to know if you were robbed of this childhood. She invites you in for tea and you accept. Hardin is right behind you the entire time making you feel safe despite everything that’s happening. You’re pretty sure if he hadn’t come with you, your sanity would jump out the window. You try to keep the conversation with Diana light because you’re not ready to dive into the serious stuff just yet. At some point, her husband Joseph comes home from work. They’re nice people. At the end of the day, you have to return to England but you get their information to stay in touch. You want to stay longer but you’re also itching to return and confront the people who took you. Anger fills you when you think of the childhood taken. You agree to leave them a strand of hair for a DNA test so you all can get the answers you so desperately crave. It isn’t until Heathrow airport that you break down. It comes sudden and overwhelms you. Hardin holds you tight as you break apart. He keeps shushing you as he leads the two of you to the taxi outside. 
“I’m sorry,” you hiccup through the sobs but he just shakes his head. There’s zero judgement in his eyes and it isn’t until you’re parked in front of your house that you realise he still hasn’t let go of you. How did your life turn into an episode of Criminal Minds? 
“Do you want me to come in with you?” he asks. Maybe you should be scared to go confront them but the need for answers overshadow all the other feelings. You have to know and for some reason, you feel sure they won’t harm you. 
“I think I have to do this alone.” So you hug him one last time before entering the house on your own. 
“Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick!” So apparently the lie didn’t last that long. 
“I went to visit Diana and Joseph. My birth parents.” You could hear a pin drop. They both stand still in utter shock. 
“Anyone want to tell me why I was kidnapped?” You’re angry and hurt and terrified but you need to have this conversation in an attempt to find some peace. What you don’t expect is your mother to sit down with tears streaming down her face while your father places a hand on her shoulder. 
“I had three miscarriages. It was horrible. After the third one, I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t go through the pain of losing a baby again. Instead we started looking at adoption agencies but it was expensive. There was no way we could afford it.” Shame dominates her features as she tells the story. You try to hold on to your anger but you’re looking at a broken woman. She’s unable to continue so your dad takes over. 
“We finally found an agency that offered their services to a price we could afford. It was very discreet and we received no information. We didn’t know until after we got you. We never would’ve accepted it if we knew. You have to believe that. But when we heard about the missing baby, we’d had you for almost two months. And we couldn’t give you up. So we closed eyes and ears to everything on the news. In the end, we managed to convince ourselves that it wasn’t you.” It’s too much. You want them to be the villains who stole you away from your real life but you just feel sorry for them. Everything they went through. There’s no arguing that what they did was wrong and awful but they just look so sad and small standing before you. 
“I need some air.” You don’t even look back but instead head straight out where you find Hardin. 
“I know you said you wanted to do this alone but I figured you’d might need company.” There’s no hesitation as you walk into his arms. You have no idea what the future will bring. You want to know your birth parents. And you have no idea what to do with the people who raised you. It’s all just too much for you to comprehend right now. But you do know that Hardin will be right there through everything. In the chaos, he’s your constant and you’re forever thankful. 
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fellulahh · 4 years
Text
Lucifer finds out MC had his baby after she left Devildom (angst/fluff)
This is quite fast paced but i didn’t want to make it too long as I don’t know how to do the ‘read more’ tool on my phone!
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Picking up the baby monitor, MC left the lounge as she began pottering around her kitchen. She probably had about an hour before her newborn daughter would awake again so - despite being exhausted - MC tried her best to get as much cleaning done as possible.
However, a knock at the door stopped that from happening.
Surprised, MC made her way back through the bungalow; wondering who on earth could be outside. After all, she wasn’t expecting anyone and can’t remember ordering anything online lately.
Passing her sleeping daughter, she left the lounge before walking into the entranceway; baby monitor strapped to her belt. Gripping the handle, she pulled the door open before widening her eyes at the guest on the other side.
“FINALLY!” Mammon exclaimed dramatically, “what took ya so long?!”
“Oh my god...” MC mumbled quietly, horrified to see 6 out of 7 brothers in front of her.
All colour drained from her face as 6 pair of expectant eyes fell on her own.
“Is everything alright?” Satan asked concerned, noticing her change of expression.
“I er...” she spoke quietly, shutting the door behind her as she squeezed onto the step outside her house. “What are you guys doing here?”
As absolutely elated as she was to be reunited with the brothers, she only wished that they’d warned her of their arrival. That way she may have been able to prepare herself for admitting the huge secret sleeping inside the house.
“We’ve come to see you of course!” Asmo grinned excitedly while the other brothers smiled.
“Where...where’s Lucifer?” MC practically whispered, glancing over their shoulders to see if he was nearby.
“Ah he’s just parkin’ the car. We couldn’t be bothered to wait for him, apparently ya can’t just park on the curb in your realm?!” Mammon stated in disbelief.
“You’re not supposed to do that in Devildom either?” Levi questioned, narrowing his eyes.
“Oh my...” MC breathed again, completely ignoring their rambling as she took deep breaths.
“What’s wrong?” Beel asked as his face saddened. “I thought you’d like us surprising you.”
“I do, believe me.” She nodded, “but I just wished you’d have warned me.”
“Why?” Belphie questioned.
As if on cue, her daughter awoke from her nap and soon tiny cries echoed through the monitor. The noise completely startled MC; she hadn’t anticipated her baby to wake so soon but perhaps she heard Mammon’s loud voice.
“MC I think your phone’s ringing.” Levi pointed out.
“That’s not a phone, ya dingbat!” Mammon spoke up, “it’s a cat.”
“Are you both complete imbeciles?” Satan shook his head, “it’s clearly a baby, can you not see the monitor?”
“Ooh, a baby!” Asmo gushed, rushing into the house.
Panicking, MC quickly chased after him, followed by the other brothers.
Walking into the lounge, as soon as he laid eyes on the tiny bundle of joy, Asmo’s face lit up. “Oh my goodness, she’s adorable!” He cooed, leaning over the cot.
“Whose baby is it?” Satan asked bewildered, joining them all in the lounge.
MC remained silent as they all turned to face her.
“Wait...that’s your baby?!” Asmo questioned amazed.
“Yes.” MC nodded reluctantly.
“What?! Ya never told us ya were married!” Mammon cried.
“I’m not married, Mammon.” MC shook her head with a sigh.
“How old is she?” Satan asked quietly, beginning to grow suspicious of just how long they hadn’t seen MC for.
He could see that she was growing more and more uncomfortable.
“Two months.” She answered truthfully.
“Then who is the Father?” He asked gobsmacked.
The other brothers were left quiet as they admired the cute baby, clueless about Satan’s realisation.
MC furrowed her eyebrows as she felt the fourth eldest’s stare on her. But then, before she could say anything, footsteps approached the house.
“I cannot believe you all just ran off like that, it was completely irresponsible.” Lucifer moaned as he entered the house, “it was my idea to come here in the first place! The least you could do is be respectful and not disappear at the first chance.”
Satan never took his eyes off MC as he observed the panic that fell across her face. His lips parted as her expression answered his question.
“Lucifer’s the Father?!” He questioned in disbelief.
“WHAT?!” Mammon spun around, followed by the other brothers.
“Shh!” MC quickly hushed them, “you can’t tell him - he doesn’t know.”
“Well I don’t know how you plan to hide her...” Satan worried, glancing over at the baby as the door handle turned to the lounge.
Entering the room, Lucifer stopped in his tracks as he was met with 7 shocked faces. “What’s going on?” He asked suspiciously before his attention immediately turned to the baby. Everybody noticed the way his eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrowed after being met with the infant.
“Well, I think that’s my cue to leave.” Asmo broke the silence as he escaped the room.
“Me too.” Beel nodded, following his footsteps.
One by one, the brothers all left the room swiftly until it was just Lucifer, MC and Satan. Bewildered by everybody’s behaviour, the eldest brother turned his attention back to the human. Given how the brothers had reacted to his appearance and the fact that there was an unexplained baby in the room, Lucifer immediately knew something was up.
“What’s happening, MC?” He asked seriously.
Shooting her a sympathetic look, Satan left the room too.
“Lucifer we need to talk.” MC spoke quickly.
“I imagine we do.” He nodded, “after all, I have just arrived at your home unexpectedly to find you less than pleased to see me, my brothers being unusually silent and a newborn baby sat in the room.”
MC was taken aback by his words. She hadn’t anticipated jumping straight to the point. Suddenly she felt completely overwhelmed as Lucifer already pieced together what was happened. Taking a deep sigh, she flopped onto the sofa beside the cot as she gently pushed her hand through the rails to stroke her wriggling baby’s head.
Watching her every move, Lucifer studied MC carefully. By this point his heart was riddled with anxiety. All he wanted to do was come and finally see MC and tell her how he misses her so.
How he loves her so.
And now? Now it’d seem there was something more important to say.
“Who is this?” He asked quietly, stepping toward the cot as he towered over it.
Waiting for MC to answer, he glanced down at the baby.
“My daughter...” she whispered.
Studying the dark hairs and the small red glint in the baby’s eyes, Lucifer turned his head to the human.
“Your daughter?” He questioned seriously.
Parting her lips, MC gawped at him as her chest tightened.
“I think you mean our daughter.” He corrected her.
Despite his usual cold exterior, MC could hear the hurt in his voice. Guilt filled her entire body as she was left in silence.
Shaking his head, Lucifer narrowed his eyes as he crouched in front of the cot to get a better look of the baby.
“How could you not tell me?” He asked venomously. “How could you keep this from me?!”
“I’m sorry.” MC quickly apologised.
“Sorry doesn’t cut it, MC.” He quickly interjected, “I have spent every day stuck in hell thinking about you; wondering if you thought about me, wondering if you still loved me! And all this time you were hiding this?”
Although he may have sounded angry, MC knew deep down it was only his despair. It wasn’t like Lucifer to show so much emotion.
Standing up, he strode over until he was standing in front of her. “Why did you hide her, MC?” He asked seriously, “did you not think I was deserving to hear the news of our child?”
Turning her focus to him, MC’s face fell. “Your pledge.” She whispered.
Lucifer’s heart sunk at her words. He felt an indescribable sense of betrayal in his heart as MC used the one thing he couldn’t change about himself, as the excuse for hiding their baby from him.
Unable to utter any words, Lucifer turned away. Taking a few steps toward the window, he placed a hand on his chest as his mind raced. Whatever pride he had when he entered MC’s house that morning had now completely vanished.
Watching him anxious from across the room, MC felt a huge pang of sadness.
“Her name is Lillith.” She spoke softly.
MC’s words were a cold thrust of insult to his heart.
“That’s rather inappropriate, wouldn’t you say?” Lucifer asked defensively, watching his brothers who were stood awkwardly in the garden through the window. “I mean the reason you chose not to tell me about her was because of my pledge to Diavolo and the only reason that exists was to save Lillith’s life.”
“I wanted to tell you.” MC informed him, “but...I’ve seen what your pledge has done to you, Lucifer. I didn’t think...I didn’t think you’d want this. Your life belongs to Diavolo—“
“That’s not for you to decide.” He shook his head. “I may have made a pledge to Diavolo but that doesn’t mean I have given him my life. You and that baby could have been the thing that made me feel like I had something to live for again. But you chose to keep it from me.”
“Lucifer, please.” MC begged, standing up from her seat on the sofa. “I was completely clueless and irrational...and scared! I know you and I were practically together while I was in your realm but I didn’t think this would be something you’d want. You’re always so busy and have little time as it is for your family...I just didn’t want you to feel any more pressure.”
“Well you’re wrong.” He spoke quietly, “this is everything I could want.”
“I’m so sorry.” MC repeated.
Lucifer nodded but didn’t say anything else. He was too busy contemplating the huge revelation he’d just discovered so unexpectedly.
The room grew silent and minutes began to pass.
“Can I hold her?” He asked quietly.
“Of course.” MC whispered, moving away before returning with their daughter.
Incredibly cautiously, Lucifer turned his attention toward their daughter. As he stared at this baby he’d only known for all of ten minutes, he felt an unfamiliar wave of emotions flood through his body.
Though he’d been alive for centuries, seeing the tiny life he’d created in front of him made him feel like he’d been reborn. Only this time he didn’t feel like he’d been born as a monster; he’d become something so much better than a fallen angel.
He was a Father.
Shifting his body, he held out his arms as MC slowly passed the baby over. Carefully holding her in his arms, Lillith looked so small against his torso. Lucifer never blinked as he stared into the eyes of his daughter.
He was in complete awe of everything she did. From the tiny little wriggle of her arms to the way she had his looks and yet still resembled her mother to him.
Glancing up at MC, his face finally softened. She gazed at him worried, feeling awful for everything she’d done.
“I’ll accept your apology.” He informed her, “providing you both come home with me.”
Nodding her head, MC let out a deep sigh of relief. Her whole heart suddenly felt like it was at ease as she quickly stepped closer to Lucifer; carefully hugging his side as he held their daughter.
Content filled his heart as he was surrounded by the warmth of his new family. Lucifer hadn’t felt such love in centuries and even now, it was still a completely new kind of love; one that he’d never felt before. He let out a shaky breath as he tilted his body to rest his cheek on MC’s head.
“I suppose I better fetch my brothers.” He breathed, “they’ll be wanting to meet their niece.”
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animepopheart · 3 years
Text
Wonder Egg Priority, Episode 11: “The Temptation of Death”?
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Wonder Egg Priority is a beautiful, uncomfortable, moving and confusing series that starts out engaging all the things we don’t talk about—self-harm, abuse, rape, bullying, gender dysmorphia, and homosexuality, to name a few. Our silence and blindness to these issues have a weight and pressure to them, and WEP shows how this reinforces the isolation and hopelessness of the young women of the “eggs” who turn to suicide for relief. The first ten episodes have been exhilarating and exhausting alike.
And then there is Episode 11. This past week, the series took a bit of a turn, leaning hard into the sci-fi-philosophical, with appearances from Greek gods, a murderous artificial intelligence, and really, really disturbing insect girls, one of whom, despite being a brutal killer, is apparently a vegetarian. Has the show gone off the rails? Has it lost its way in departing from the familiar procedural approach of engaging a differing social or mental health issue with each episode?
Such a critique is perfectly legit, but before you write off the penultimate episode of WEP, just hear me out on why the abstract, meta turn in episode 11 may just be the most valuable thing this series has to offer so far.
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Before we begin though, a little recap of what we learned this week. In episode 10, we hear the eggheads, Acca and Ura-Acca, discuss the need for warriors of Eros to battle Thanatos. This is our first hint that things are about to get lore-full and maybe a bit weird. Eros and Thanatos are of course gods in the ancient Greek pantheon, Eros being the god of love, and Thanatos, of non-violent death. Within the first minute or so of episode 11, it’s clear that the eggheads’ hope is now focused on Ai becoming the long-awaited warrior. At this point though, rather than continuing with Ai’s story, the episode shifts into flashback mode and we are finally introduced to the villain, an artificial intelligence created by the eggheads back when they were still human. Their lives gradually come to revolve around her: She is the fulfillment of their obsession to create life, and she is good.
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Frill is associated with hydrangeas, which symbolise heartlessness and pride in Japanese flower language. But is it her heartlessness and pride, or that of her makers?
(Atelier Emily has done an outstanding series of posts on the flowers in WEP. Check it out!)
Only, it turns out she doesn’t play so nice when others join the happy family. After killing Acca’s wife, and putting the life of the unborn baby at risk, the AI—who named herself Frill—is unrepentant, all traces of her seeming humanity now revealed to be illusory, a mere affectation. Acca locks her away in a hole in the cellar. Years pass. The baby, Himari, grows up and is a ray of sunshine. But after effectively confessing to her ‘uncle’ (why does anime always do this?), she commits suicide. Ura-Acca discovers that Frill is still very much alive and active from her hole in the cellar, having powered up all the discarded monitors and laid down reams of electrical cables—to what end, we do not yet know. Though Ura-Acca surmises that she has somehow influenced Himari to take her own life. How else would the girl have known about Ura-Acca’s admiration for her mother? Where else would she have learned to make what will forever be to me now that uncannily sinister popping sound?
Here’s where it gets weirder. Unlike the suicides of subsequent egg girls, there is no indication that Himari, Frill’s apparent first victim, struggled with any mental health or other issues that would motivate her to take her own life. Indeed, her ‘uncle’ did not even reject her confession. (Again anime, why you do this thing?) Instead, the eggheads explain Himari’s suicide as being on account of the “temptation of death.” What now?
This is implying that death is somehow attractive, not just to someone facing overwhelming brokenness, trauma or pain, like the egg girls we’ve met so far, but to someone on the verge of stepping from a (relatively) happy childhood into young adulthood, with the promise of potential love to look forward to; someone who has not known suffering, but rather only smiles and cake. (To be fair, it is always possible that she experienced trauma in the womb, or was more deeply affected by her father’s sadness than Ura-Acca’s memories belie.)
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That’s my question too, Ai.
The notion of death as somehow attractive or even beautiful is rather alien to Western culture. Certainly, there will always be some who romanticize death, à la star-crossed lovers (Shakespeare, I’m looking at you). But in general, Western culture views death as something ugly and frightening, something to avoid until it is staring you directly in the face, and even then, closing your eyes in denial is a perfectly reasonable response. Death is one of those things we don’t talk about. In my experience, Anglo-American culture is not very good at even mourning death. We lack the grieving rituals and observances of other cultures, and instead seek to confine death to the sealed, sanitized spaces of hospitals, care homes, and funeral parlors. We keep it shrouded tightly in silence. How could there ever be anything like the “temptation of death”? How could we ever consider death to be something desirable? Are the eggheads or CloverWorks simply aestheticising suicide and death here to make it sound deep and philosophical?
No, I don’t think that’s it. Instead, Acca and Ura-Acca are doing what all good researchers do—and indeed what all Christians, as believers in an unseen spiritual reality, are also called to do: They are looking more deeply into phenomena that seem, on the surface, to already be explained. The two idol fans were consumed with their obsession, so when their idol killed herself, they followed suit. The young woman whose identity was wrapped up in her own appearance ended her life to preserve her beauty. The abused gymnast saw no way out, no hope in ever living free from torment. Some explanations may be more sympathetic than others, but they all possess their own internal logic. Contemporary society is full of a vast array of pressures and stresses and each one, taken to breaking point, can result in death. Case closed. This might very well be our conclusion from the first ten episodes.
Only the case isn’t closed. Because there is a question that has pervaded every episode until now, but has remained unspoken: How is it that death could even become an option for the egg girls? Why does reaching a breaking point trigger suicide? What made death seem like a savior to these girls? This is the question that episode 11 tackles, in its own admittedly obscure way. The eggheads are focused on the underlying, deeper reality that unites all the eggs’ stories, as disparate as they are—the common thread, which is the idea that death is a release, a rescue, a beautiful ending, and as a result, it is tempting.
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“But we wondered if there could be another push that drove them to suicide,” explains Ura-Acca.
This is a really important question for us to be asking. Because it’s not just these traumatized, vulnerable girls who fall for the seduction of death. We do, too.
Just ponder for a moment: Have you ever anticipated how wonderful it will be when, in heaven, you no longer struggle with that particular temptation? When your temper is no longer so short, when you’re not afraid of being hurt anymore? Or maybe you think about how one day, on those gold-paved streets, you won’t have to worry anymore. All your hard work coping and just keeping it together will finally pay off and you’ll cross that finish line and heave a sigh of relief, knowing that you made it in the end. Have you ever contemplated these kinds of things? I know I have.
But here’s the thing: When I expect my liberation to come only after I die and not right here, right now, then it is not Jesus who is my savior, but death. I am waiting for death to free me from temptation and sin and fear and brokenness, and usher me into eternal life. I make Thanatos my god.
The temptation of death is not limited to the drastic act of suicide, but also permeates all the accusations and fears that inspire us to put off living the fullness of life in Christ here and now. It’s the temptation to believe that it is death that will ultimately solve the more difficult and painful problems in life.
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Acca and Ura-Acca seek to create a love that suits their ideals, just to relieve their stress.
The source of this “temptation of death” in Wonder Egg Priority is Frill, the AI. That is, a man-made, artificial version of love—with ai meaning “love” in Japanese. According to Ura-Acca, they made her “just for fun,” as a way of dealing with the stress of their enclosed lives. They designed her to suit their preferences, to make it easier to love her and forget that she was artificial. In this sense, Frill is the fruit of their self-centeredness, her every characteristic designed to satisfy their own ideals of how a daughter and woman should be. And this artificial love born of selfishness brings death into their midst and beyond, spreading it through the horrendous deformities of girlhood that she in turn creates, in imitation of her fathers. (Only perhaps her creations are less deceptive than theirs, wearing their monstrosity plainly on the outside…)
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Frill’s creations. We’ve met Dash (right) and Dot (center), but who is that on the left? And is her name Morse??
To counter her destructive influence, Acca and Ura-Acca need true love, a genuine love. They need Ai, a messy, at times very weak human being, but one who nevertheless is willing to fight to live up to her name and maybe, just maybe, become a warrior of Eros.
There is also a deep, underlying force at work in our world, one that connects all despair and the actions born of it. A wide range of social issues, traumas and mental health challenges can and do trigger suicide, but they do not explain it fully. The deeper reality is the existence of an enemy who seeks to manipulate us into believing our true savior can only be death, whether it is right away by our own hand, or more subtly, decades from now by natural causes. But this is a lie, and it is one that we can combat. Just as I’m sure we’ll see in the final episode that Ai is equipped to wage the coming battle in WEP, so too are we armed, here and now, with the power to overwhelm the enemy’s “temptation of death”—we possess already the words of life, given to us by our true savior.
Jesus began his ministry with a public announcement that he had come to heal heart wounds, comfort those in pain, fill broken lives with beauty, and wrap those in despair with reasons to praise like a warm protective blanket, so that they might celebrate with joy once again. He came to bring freedom to prisoners and captives alike, giving a fresh new life to those locked up because of deeds done wrong, and those punished and injured at the hands of others. He came to take the outcasts, the weak, the traumatized and broken and transform them into mighty oaks, clean and strong; into people with the vision and skill and compassion and fortitude to rebuild a broken world (Isaiah 61:1-4, Luke 4:18),
He came to rewrite and restore our experience of life here on earth, and through us, to redeem our communities, cities, nations, and the world. God does not withhold the fullness of life from us until we finally make it to him in heaven. No, instead he moved heaven and earth to get right up close so that he could pour his own life out into us, even going so far as to breathe his very spirit into our hearts and bodies and minds. We don’t need to wait for death’s rescue—our hero has already come. But we do need to remind each other and ourselves of this truth pretty often, and let it work down deep into all the cracks and bruises in our souls until it strengthens all our weak spots.
In Deuteronomy 30:19, God tells the Israelites that he has given them the authority to choose between life and death. But he also tips the balances in their favor, urging them to choose life. In Jesus, he comes to tip the balances even further, making it possible for us to step into eternal life here and now, immediately and forever. So let’s do it. Each day, through each struggle we face. Let’s choose life and not death.
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Warrior of love? And is Ai’s himawari (sunflower) related to Himari somehow?
Join me (in spirit) for the final episode on Tuesday to see Ai’s love triumph! (At least, I really really hope that’s what happens!)
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wroteclassicaly · 3 years
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If you want to or feel inspired how about “35. “You could’ve left! You could’ve run away with me!” And/or “78. “Seven billion people in the world and I got put in a room with you. Either I’m cursed or God likes playing house with us.” For Andy from the angst prompts! If you like. No pressure though!!
First off, thanks so much for sending this in! I definitely needed this to work on, and I miss my favorite dramatic daddy! ^_^ I hope you like what I’ve created here? I combined each number!❤️
I think this became more than a prompt, lol... Also, Andy is a total dick in this!
~*~
35. “You could’ve left! You could’ve run away with me!”
78. “Seven billion people in the world and I got put in a room with you. Either I’m cursed or God likes playing house with us.”
The scenery looks ever persistent in its unchanging beauty, you note, manicured nails tapping the glass as you pass by your favorite row of cherry blossom trees.
We must be getting close to home...
That sickening sucker punching dread drowns your insides, liquefying your bones. It’s enough to have you rolling down the window to outstretch your hand and wave your fingers through the whipping, crisp air. Your hair fans out with each rough breeze, creating a spread blanket to shield your left side view. And that is good enough for you right now. You attempt to ignore his rejected sigh.
Your right hand joins your left inside the car, thumb pad attempting to swipe the absent ring where your wedding band used to be out of a nervous habit.
“You gonna do that pitiful ex - wife act all the way to the house, Y/N? We both know I’m the actor in this relationship.” His deep voice, once comforting, is now snide and cruel, a speciality he has taken to reserving for you.
You don’t fight your instincts anymore, knowing you have no need. It’s over anyways, why try to tip toe around your ex - husband that chose everything besides you? When your head falls back against the seat you are wearing a saddened smile, eyes warm and threatening tears, yet they never fall. He looks briefly caught off guard that you aren’t taking your normal “bitch of a high road” and ignoring him.
“You’re exactly right, Andy. You are the one who’s been acting in our marriage.” It’s not a question, but a stating fact that you leave yourself on, batting at his cigarette smoke that he blows in your direction.
You don’t see the tremble his lower lip can’t control, you don’t feel the way his guts swoop into a massive tangle, heart ramming his rib cage with the lashes your words cause. He does what he can do best, one of the deciding behavioral factors that helped destroy your union. He becomes a total asshole.
“Your useless cunt used to get soaked just watching me smoke one of these. When did you get to be such an uptight bitch?” You hear his fingers snap together when he flicks the butt out and closes his side of the window.
You close your eyes and manage your therapeutic breathing ritual before you speak. Though you can’t close off the jagged way your air comes to the surface.
“The night that you left, dumb ass.” You’re not shy with the bitter concert your tone is doling out.
And Andy explodes. You hear him slam his duffel that separates you two in the backseat - onto the floor, his body shifting towards your sought solitude
“You could’ve left! You could’ve run away with me!”
You let him get it out, squeezing white - knuckled around the seatbelt across your chest. Andy slides so fast across the leather and grips a few inches of the belt below where your hand is, reminding you so much of a predator caging its prey. You know he won’t hit you, but that doesn’t mean you’re ready to be this close to him again, not when you know you’re hours away from losing him forever. Gone is the last name Dolan, replaced with who you were before this man came into your life and changed things permanently. Andy noses your jaw until he gets your neck to incline towards him, his nose smashing atop your own.
He’s like a snarling beast. When you attempt to raise your other hand, he tries catch it with his fingers, apparently unprepared for your biting hit across his cheek. You shove him away from you so hard that he falls back into his seat.
Fuck, I could just straddle him and ride him into the seat right now...
The car comes to a stop and prevents your soon to be ex - husband from further acting out his emotions. You gather your handbag and suitcase, heading into the house and meeting the lawyer and former staff at the front doors. You don’t want to see their faux sadness. You give them your bags, moving into what used to be the dining room, now set up into a makeshift lawyer’s quarters. You grip the curved doorknob behind you, jiggling its non-working inadequacies, another habit you’ll never get used to not doing any longer.
Along the fancy marble table, you see places set for a sadness that has your jaw twitching to keep yourself in check. Folders and pens are stacked and ready to go in front of the seats where you and Andy used to set. You have to move your shoulders against the onslaught of memories this room holds. Hell, even the furniture. Fitting that he ate your pussy out and then dropped to one knee with a diamond ring, but an even bigger, priceless sparkle in his eyes when he asked you to marry him.
You’d kissed his slick cum - covered lips and accepted. Then you saw more of him and less of this distant darkness that welcomes in. The very same table you’d became engaged at is the one where you’ll sign off on the ending that is your marriage, your life, and your ties to Andy Dolan. You’re broken from your grieving reverie, Andy striding in behind you and slamming the door closed. You wipe a hand across your mouth and move to a safe distance as to not let him read you. He’s pretty damned good at that.
“Motherfuckers all headed back into town. They forgot some of the files. Did you mail in all the shit that my lawyers discussed on the phone with you?” He’s accusatory, perturbed, seeming as if he’s having to bother with just being here with you.
“Yes, Andy. Unlike you, I’m not high 24/7, and can remember how to converse like a decent human being.” The hell if he’s going to place blame on you.
He snorts and runs a hand through his unkept brown curls, then paths it with a follow through across his delicious bearded stubble.
One last time I could feel that on my thighs if I just sit down in that seat...
“Then I’m not staying in here with you.” You realize, unsure why he even bothered if no one will be back for the hour.
The second your hand hits the door handle and twists you know you’re fucked. You’d forgotten this was one of the many things that never got fixed. And like a fucking cliche, you’re locked in your old dining room with your ex. You rest your head against the door and begin to laugh, your legs shaking uncontrollably as you fold into your old seat anyways, those tears disguised as pain and anguish in one with the humor. Andy is oblivious to your comedy, trying the door himself and taking a second to follow you.
“MOTHERFUCKER! This has got to be some kind of attempt to —“ Andy starts.
“If you accuse me of being the delusional ex - wife, so fucking help me...“ You trail off, warning him.
“Seven billion people in the world and I got put in a room with you. Either I’m cursed or God likes playing house with us.”
“Or you just fucking forgot that this door doesn’t work, a lot like you’ve forgotten every other damn thing that I tell you. Fucking bitch!” You say acidly in his direct direction.
“Oh? Oh, I’m the bitch? That’s so fucking rich, Y/N. Real comedy right there! My hat is off to you!”
He doesn’t jerk on the door, doesn’t attempt to maneuver it. He knows there’s no point from your prior shared experiences locked in here when the staff is in bed, and you two were kept inside for a late night snack or work. It always resulted in you both fucking each other on the floor, Andy pounding you into the door, or bending you over the table until you collapsed in a naked heap, waiting for daylight to be discovered and let out. Andy stands over you, that cocky walk up making you feel the familiar drenching ache. Great...
Angst Prompts
Andy babes tag list : @dark-mei-rose @sojournmichael @fckinsupreme @littledemondani @xavierplympton @xavier-plymptons @codyfernuk @jimmason @infernwetrust @ferndolan @plymptxn-reborn @9layerdevilfoodcake @instinctsxbaby @icylangdon @lovelylangdonx @langdxn @bloodcoatedeclipse @celestialrequiem @ritualmichael
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kpop-zone · 3 years
Text
Déjá Vu | Yves
College AU | Meet Cute | “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck this shit. Fuck.” 
Wordcount: 1,691
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“Y/N?“
Your head whipped around when you heard an unfamiliar voice calling your name, only for your jaw to drop an instant later. Was this a dream? Was this an angel nearing you right now?
“Hi! I’m Sooyoung. We agreed to meet here.”
No, no, no. You agreed to meet just another one of your university’s top athletes to write an article about her for your university’s magazine. You definitely didn’t agree to meet the most beautiful girl that you had ever seen.
“You are...Y/N, right?”
Sooyoung suddenly asked hesitantly, making you realize that you had just been staring at her with an open mouth till now. Embarrassed, you cleared your throat quickly and held out your hand.
“Yes, that’s me. Nice to meet you.”
You mumbled, waiting for Sooyoung to shake your hand. Visibly amused by your old-school gesture, she looked at your hand with a smile playing on her lips, but took it, nevertheless.
“The pleasure is all mine.”
She grinned and you suddenly felt like fainting.
How could someone’s grin look that perfect?
“So... um my coach condemned me to a spontaneous practice session five minutes ago, but we could meet afterwards, and you can ask me some questions?”
Unable to answer Sooyoung’s questions with any actual words, you simply nodded, knowing that you had to look like a complete fool right now. But Sooyoung didn’t seem to notice, or she decided not to point it out.
“Let’s meet at 6pm at the entrance of the sport complex then? Or would you like to meet somewhere else?”
She asked and you instantly agreed without thinking about your answer.
“No that sounds great.”
You blurted out, not wanting to deny this incredibly stunning girl any wish.
“Ok, see you later.”
Cheekily, Sooyoung winked at you before turning around and leaving behind a blushing mess. Either she really didn’t know what effect she had on people or she liked to torture others... For a good five minutes, you simply kept on staring into the void until your phone seemed to almost explode in your hand and the vibration managed to rip you out of your trance. Confused, you looked at the screen, causing you to gasp in shock. There were a thousand messages from your friends who asked you where you were.
“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck this shit. Fuck.”
Only now you remembered that you actually had to attend the class of one of the strictest professors on campus in less than five minutes, but you were still at least ten minutes away from the building; even if you ran. Not wanting to accept your fate though, you grabbed the straps of your backpack tightly and started to sprint across campus. Completely out of breath, you arrived five minutes late at the classroom, causing your professor to torture you for almost 20 minutes in front of the whole class by asking you a million questions about the last lecture. It was pure hell and when you were finally allowed to plop down next to your friends, who patted your back encouragingly, you felt like passing out. This had been too much excitement for one day. The rest of the class, you absentmindedly stared ahead, pretending that you were listening to your professor while secretly thinking about Sooyoung. The sound of her laugh still played on repeat in your head and the image of her gentle smile seemed to be branded into your retinal.
How were you supposed to survive that interview?
You hadn’t been able to form a single coherent sentence earlier and after the torture your professor had put you through just now, you were barely feeling alive anymore. Nevertheless, you didn’t want to postpone your appointment with Sooyoung. It wasn’t like you to be unreliable, so you forced yourself to the sports complex after your class had ended and tiredly plopped down on the stairs in front of the entrance. Your eyelids weighted heavily as you waited for Sooyoung, but soon an immense rush of adrenaline woke you up in a matter of seconds.
“Do you want to postpone the interview?”
You hadn’t even heard that Sooyoung had left the building behind you and her voice caused you to jump to your feet in shock. Perplexed, you looked at her and noticed the concerned look on her face. Did you really look that bad?
“Oh no, I’m fine.”
You quickly explained while flashing her a smile, but Sooyoung kept eyeing you suspiciously.
“Are you sure?”
She asked and you awkwardly gave her a thumbs up.
“Absolutely. I’m just a little tired, because I was late for Mr. Yoon’s class and he made me regret that. That’s all.”
You tried to sound nonchalant, but your words seemed to have worried Sooyoung, nevertheless.
“Oh no! Were you late because of me?”
She gasped, causing you to quickly shake your head.
“No, no, no. I was late because of my own poor time management. Please, don’t feel bad about that.”
You tried to reassure her and Sooyoung nodded hesitantly.
“Ok, but I don’t want to take up too much of your time. So let’s start?”
You were aware that she just meant well, but somehow, Sooyoung’s proposition made you sad. Yes, you were tired and her presence alone made your heart nearly jump out of your chest, but you still wouldn’t mind spending the whole evening with her. But you couldn’t exactly tell her that, so you agreed with a forced smile before starting to ask her the question that you had already asked at least a dozen other top athletes of your university already.
When did you discover your passion for sports? How often do you train? What’s your proudest moment?
The questions were incredibly trite, nevertheless, you just couldn’t stop asking them, because you knew that once you would admit that you had all the info that you needed for your article, your little meetup with Sooyoung would end. And you would probably never see her again. Except for in articles or your university’s Instagram page when she won another important championship. But after you had already filled countless pages of your notebook, you had to end the interview, so you put down your pen reluctantly.
“Well I think that’s all I need. Thank you for your time.”
You smiled at Sooyoung who mirrored your expression.
“Thank you! I can imagine that there are more interesting articles to write... I’m a big fan of your writing, so I know that this is below your level.”
She giggled sheepishly and you instantly felt a blush creeping to your cheeks. She had known about you before the interview?
“Don’t say that. It was really interesting to learn more about you... I mean about your career, not that I’m some creepy stalker or something.”
You stuttered, causing Sooyoung’s expression to become serious.
“I didn’t worry about that beforehand, but now that you mention it...”
She dragged off her words while standing up and you leaped to your feet panicked. What an idiot you were... But suddenly, Sooyoung started laughing.
“I was just kidding, Y/N. I don’t think that you’re a creepy stalker or something.”
She chuckled and you sighed in relief before starting to laugh about your own stupidity. For a moment, Sooyoung and you simply smiled at each other and you felt how your cheeks heated up again. She really knew how to make a blushing mess out of you... To save yourself from further embarrassment, you quickly cleared your throat and held out your hand.
“It was a pleasure working with you. I hope you get back home safely.”
You mumbled and Sooyoung took your hand with a smile playing on her lips.
“The pleasure was all mine.”
She grinned while holding on to your hand a little longer than necessary, giving you a feeling of déjá vu. Just like this afternoon, she winked cheekily before turning around and walking away all the while managing to make your heartbeat reach a frequency that you wouldn’t have considered possible. As soon as there was a little distance between the two of you, you let out a shaky breath and clutched your chest in an attempt to calm your heart. But to your surprise, Sooyoung suddenly turned around again, causing you to quickly hide your hands behind your back.
“You know, I really think that it was my fault that you were late to your class and I feel very bad because of that that. Maybe when we meet next time, I can pay for your coffee to make it up to you?”
She asked and you looked at her in confusion.
“But I don’t have any more questions for you?”
You answered while looking at your notes in front of you that were more than enough to write the article for the university magazine. Once again, your comment made Sooyoung laugh and you looked at her dumbfounded. What was so funny?
“I know, Y/N.”
She said softly while looking at you intently, apparently waiting for the penny to drop in your brain which happened after a few more seconds. Your eyes widened significantly, and you stared at her with an open mouth. Did she just ask you out for a date?! Visibly amused by your expression, Sooyoung giggled before meeting your eyes again.
“So...can I? Take you out for a coffee?”
She asked sheepishly, seeming to have lost a little of her confidence due to your hesitancy.
“Of course!”
You blurted out, not wanting to forego this chance. The second your response had passed your lips though, you regretted the desperate sound of it, causing a bright blush to appear on your cheeks. Once again, however, Sooyoung didn’t seem to notice your clumsy behavior. Instead, she rewarded you with yet her widest grin that made her eyes form little crescent moons. In an instant, your mood lifted, and you couldn’t stop the corners of your mouth to turn upward. You were sure that you would never stop trying to make Sooyoung smile this way.
It was a déjá vu that you would love to relive for the rest of your life.
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melatovnik · 3 years
Text
i wanted to make this quick wangxian fic rec post just so they don’t get lost. i asked for cute/funny fics and @manhasetardis​​ delivered. thanks teresa! ❤
housed by your warmth by scifi | rated E | 2K words
wei wuxian may never grow to enjoy mornings but he enjoys this, he really enjoys this – stolen time together, bodies reuniting, waking up before the world.
rainy season by scifi | rated T | 3K words
even rabbits deserve to stay dry (in which lan zhan brings all the rabbits to the jingshi during a summer storm and wei ying is pleasantly surprised)
The Thing Is by sunlightrefrain | rated T | 8K words
“What the fuck, dude.” Jin Zixun sounds mad. Oh, he sounds very mad. “Are you out of your fucking mind? I’ll get you fucking expelled.”
Lan Zhan, who doesn’t give even an ounce of a shit, only grits out, “Please, by all means.” Which, for Lan Zhan, is more or less the verbal equivalent of a fuck you and your ancestral home too. Wei Ying blanches.
Or; Wei Ying meets Lan Zhan when he’s seven. Nearly two decades later, Lan Zhan punches Jin Zixun.
Far Away You Are by cqlorphan | rated E | 17K words
Suddenly, it snaps into place. The weary way Lan Zhan has been holding himself is suddenly cast in a new, much more distressing light. Somebody is responsible for it, a real live, horrible, blind, stupid person. The combination of guilt, sadness, and anger that sets in all at once is hard to contain. Lingering wisps of resentment that remain from the night-hunt flock to him, like calling to like.
All four boys stare at him with wide eyes.
“Wei-qianbei,” Sizhui says. “You look...um…”
“Scary,” Zizhen breathes, beaming.
“Who has rejected Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asks.
Or; during one of his visits to the Cloud Recesses, the juniors strike a blow to Wei Wuxian's certainty that his feelings for Lan Wangji are one-sided.
Swipe Right by Bowandtie | rated T | 30K words
How not to use Chinese Tinder, a cautionary tale. (Or not, if you're looking at the end result.)
WWX made his life's mission to be matched with every weird people with hilariously bad profile pic on Tantan.
thoroughly in earnest by stiltonbasket | rated G | 3K words
The first time someone addresses him as something other than "Honored Master Wei" during an assembly, Wei Wuxian barely registers it.
He's never been one for titles, after all.
Ten years after his wedding, Wei Wuxian ascends as Chief Cultivator.
Somehow, he's the last one to know about it.
the And They Were Married And Had a Son series by yellowcarnations | rated G | 9K words total
Xiu Mei can see the gobsmacked faces of her classmates on the screen, some of them even have their mouth hanging open comically. She doesn't doubt that she is in a similar state herself.
Not only is Professor Lan is apparently married, he's married to Professor Wei, and they also have a kid together. Literally no one could've seen that coming.
neck deep with no way out by ericacea & SugarMilkTea | rated T | 29K words
There's a hickey on Lan Zhan's neck, and Wei Ying didn't put it there. Wei Ying's Plan For Gaining Lan Zhan's Affections™️ had not accounted for this. He sets out to discover who exactly has had their mouth on his friend's neck—and figure out how to get his plan back on track.
Friendly Fields, Open Roads by queensmooting | not rated | 12K words
She smiles. She scrunches up her nose. She sneezes a monstrous cloud of dark smoke in Wei Wuxian's face.
"Lan Zhan," he says lightly. "I think something's wrong with your baby."
Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl | rated E | 60K words
"I don't want to really date anyone. It's so stupid, I just need to pretend date someone until Jiang Cheng gets his act together, then go back to my own life." He stares at his empty coffee cup.
"Date me," Lan Zhan says. Then he looks at Wei Ying's empty cup. "Would you like another cup of coffee?"
"Always," Wei Ying says automatically. "But wait, what."
"I'll get you another cup." Lan Zhan rises smoothly from the table.
"No, wait, hang on." Wei Ying grabs his wrist before he can take the cup and Lan Zhan freezes up, staring down at where Wei Ying is hanging on to him. "Fuck, sorry, I'll—" Wei Ying hastily lets go of his wrist. "Sorry, I—what did you mean?"
"I can pretend to date you," Lan Zhan says. "You take it with cream and sugar, correct?"
like, comment, share & subscribe by detectorist | rated T | 22K words
“Come on, A-Cheng!” Wei Ying says. “Think of all the hapless youths who are watching hanguang_jun’s channel and being duped into thinking that’s what university is like! It’s not fair on the kids!”
Jiang Cheng appears to be entirely unmoved by this highly logical argument.
Lan Zhan runs a popular studytuber YouTube channel. Wei Ying decides to parody his videos. Things escalate from there.
play your love songs all night long by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf & tardigradeschool | rated E | 2K words
Look, sometimes you meet a guy in college and become best friends. Sometimes the two of you spend a day babysitting objectively the best baby on earth, and that baby needs parents. Sometimes you get married to the guy (platonically!) and spend thirteen years raising the best baby on earth into the best teenager on earth. Also you share a bed. Also you're in love with him.
Wei Ying is pretty sure all that is normal. Lan Zhan agrees. Sizhui is... dubious.
like blue flame over my fingertips by tangerinechar | rated T | 37K words
Lan Wangji’s roommate is brash, noisy, messy, annoying, and — absolutely terrible at feeding himself properly.
(Or: food as a metaphor for love, featuring Lan Wangji’s A++ cooking skills, five times Lan Wangji cooked for Wei Wuxian, and one time Wei Wuxian reciprocated.)
and bonus fic rec from @themanfromnantucket​ (thank you! ^^):
Just say yes by edenwolfie | rated T | 10K words
Lan Qiren had never had a student he couldn’t improve, and Wei Wuxian would not be the exception, especially not now that his nephew was in love with the troublemaker. He would not allow history to repeat itself.
plus one more fic rec from me since i read this recently and loved it:
and there was only one tent by detectorist | rated E | 21K words
Lan Zhan gets into the front and Wei Ying hands him a paddle before getting in the back. The canoe rocks a little as they settle themselves.
“Comfortable?” Wei Ying says. Lan Zhan looks over his shoulder and nods. Wei Ying decides, abruptly, that this is probably the one of the best views he’s ever going to get in his life: Lan Zhan in the front of the canoe, wearing his baby blue baseball cap, bathed in sunlight, with the sparkling expanse of water all around them and the lush sugar maples in the background.
Wei Ying and Lan Zhan go camping.
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walviemort · 3 years
Text
hidden blessing (7/?)
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Summary: Killian thought the only thing he was left with after Milah’s death was a broken heart and a thirst for vengeance. It’s not until he gets to Storybrooke, after so many years spent in stasis, that he discovers something else: he’s carrying her child. How does this new, tiny blessing change his path? (Canon-divergent from 2x12.)
rated T | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | AO3 | 3.4k
a/n: Sorry for the long gap between chapters! Life and all that. But hopefully there will be less gap between this and the next ones, and hope it was worth the wait!
To Killian’s surprise, part of Emma’s plan of preparation was rest; she was pointedly looking at him when she made the suggestion, and honestly, he’d been too relieved at the idea to say anything against it. Even more shockingly, Regina agreed, and for the first time since they’d set foot in this accursed land, Killian finally felt rested; even the nausea had abated, though he was sure it wouldn’t last long.
What did concern him, however, was the sound of David struggling once they finally set off toward Pan’s camp. Snow teased him, but Killian was worried that his brush with the Lost One’s arrow had been far too close.
And then, of course, Pan moved the camp—in the opposite direction that they’d been moving. As usual, Regina was quick to blame him and call for the use of magic. Which was a terrible idea, and he told her so, but did give him another.
“How are we going to find it?” she sniped.
“By using someone he trusts,” he replied, patience waning.
“Who?” David challenged. “Because I guess he certainly doesn't trust you.”
He’d never gain ground with David, would he? “A fairy who lived here when I was about,” he explained, ignoring the jab. “She might still be on the island. She'd be an inside source, knows all about the camp, can get us in. She might even have some pixie dust left. Perhaps we could fly in.”
In the continuation of their hot-and-cold relationship, David supported the idea—and Emma apparently discovered another person she knew to be fictional was real. If he ended up raising this child in Storybrooke, he’d have to be sure to keep such tales far away from them.
They redirected, but David was flagging. And Killian hated that he knew why.
It took some prodding, but David eventually was convinced to show Killian his injury, lifting his shirt just enough to expose his lower abdomen. The more hormonal part of Killian was slightly jealous of the man’s not only flat, but incredibly well toned stomach, briefly mourning the loss of his own, but it gave way to dread: there was a long, shallow slice along David’s side, and black veins were already spreading from the cut.
And yet, David still tried to argue that “The arrow only nicked me.”
But Killian had seen enough brushes with the vile poison to know what lay ahead. The sight turned his stomach, dredging up painful memories. But the stubborn prince wouldn’t heed his advice to tell his family.
“Pixie dust,” David insisted was the answer. “You believe in this Tinker Bell's power? In her pixie dust?”
“Indeed, I do.” Tink had never given him reason not to. (Though, to be fair, most of their interactions were a bit more physical than verbal, and with the way the slightest thing had him aroused right now, he didn’t dare wander down that path of memory.)
“Then let's get her and that dust.”
It was hard to argue with that.
Her treehouse was still in the same spot; given his familiarity, he headed up first, only to find it empty. (Although still far too familiar; memories of one particular night spent in that hammock definitely stirred some things he hadn’t wanted stirred. Bloody hormones.)
Thankfully his pants were still loose enough to hide anything he didn’t want shown as the rest of the crew joined him in the treehouse, although their search came up empty.
Well, not entirely—while Emma and Snow were reminiscing on the hovel��s resemblance to some places they’d lived, David uncovered a handkerchief. Of Regina’s.
He should have known Tink would be steps ahead of them; she usually was.
Thankfully, she hadn’t caused Regina any harm—and Emma managed to convince her to join them. He wasn’t really surprised—Emma clearly had that way with lost souls such as themselves—though he had assumed his own rapport with the fairy would be required. 
(He was pleased, however, that Tink was not averse to his flirtations, even if she was no longer the main object of them.)
Their shared history meant she could read him too well, though. On the trek back to their campsite, she sidled up to him. “So who knocked you up?” she bluntly whispered.
How the hell could she tell? Not that it really mattered, he supposed. “First time you’ve seen me in 30 years and that’s your first question?”
“Well, you weren’t the last time I saw you. Oh god—it wasn’t me, was it?”
He chuckled. “No, lass, it was not.” He had a keen memory for these things and he and Tink, despite the numerous positions they explored, never managed the specific one required for conception. “And actually, I was when you last saw me; I just didn’t know it yet.”
The moment of realization was visible on her face. “Oh my goodness. Then let me say congratulations.”
“Thanks, love.”
She then punched him in the shoulder. “You better be damn careful.”
“Bloody hell; that doesn’t exactly help.”
She helped them gather up some coconuts to share before settling in for the night (or whatever part of day it was; his circadian rhythm was definitely off, and his random bouts of fatigue didn’t help). After they’d passed them around, he sat down and was starting to notch a hole in one with his hook when Emma took a seat next to him.
“Hey, are you doing okay?” she asked quietly. “Stomach feeling alright and everything?”
He was speechless for a moment; despite her previous admission, he was surprised she cared. But her green eyes were staring him down, demanding an answer. “Aye; nothing too bad today; thank you for asking.” He broke through to the hollow core of the coconut and handed it to Emma. She took a sip and smiled.
“Damn, that’s good. I didn’t just take yours, did I?” He replied by grabbing another one and holding it aloft. “Good. You need to stay hydrated.”
“I’m aware, doctor.”
She snorted at that and took another sip, but then her smile drifted away as she swallowed. “So, uh, you seemed to know Tink pretty well.”
“Aye, you could say that; we go back quite far.”
“Were you two—is she—?” Emma stammered, then nodded toward his midsection. He had to bite back a laugh.
“Yes and no,” he answered. “We did know each other intimately, but not that intimately.”
She adorably scrunched her face in confusion, then shrugged. “Okay, I was just curious. You still need to explain all that to me, but not tonight.”
“No, not tonight; you better rest up.”
“You too, okay?”
“Aye, captain.”
She rolled her eyes, but stood and headed back toward where her parents sat. The longer he spent in her presence, the more he felt it when she left. This was definitely not the time or place to be warring with those feelings, but he couldn’t seem to help it. He was mature enough to set them aside and focus on the bigger picture—saving Henry and escaping this cursed realm—but bloody hell was it difficult.
The near-constant flutters within began their tiny dance again; he hoped the way his hand rested on his belly was perceived as casual. Feeling that was yet another reminder of his goals here: to make it out alive for the sake of the babe, and let no harm come to them. 
He was allowed to have some fun along the way, though—right?
-------------------------------------------
Of course, those moments were few and far between. The next day brought Tink’s uncomfortable reminder that they’d yet to figure out a way out of Neverland, and led them chasing ghosts across the island as he brought them to Bae’s old hideaway.
He had never let the lad know that he was aware of its location. Or that he’d been keeping an eye on him ever since he left the Roger. That was still his greatest regret, and he hoped no one noticed the tears brimming at his eyes as he moved to uncover the entrance to Bae’s cave.
Deflection usually helped; he did find a brief moment to engage Emma, but David stepped in before she could reply. It was hard to tell if it was fatherly protection or pure stubbornness against his own fate that was the motivation. Of course, David didn’t want to hear another lecture about his situation as they opened the cave, but he got one anyway; perhaps this pregnancy was elevating Killian’s already intense protective instincts, but the man’s insistence on hiding his condition was infuriating and heartbreaking.
Honestly, the only thing that kept him back from really tearing into David was Emma calling out for him from the cave. His heart gave a leap at that, one that was clearly distinguishable from the rolling of his stomach that typically accompanied nausea, and he headed in with one last glance at David. He could deal with him later, but he’d not leave a lady waiting.
“What is this place? What are we doing here?” she demanded impatiently, trying to make out anything in the dark of the cave. Ever one for the dramatic reveal, Killian headed straight to a waiting torch on the back wall and quickly made to light it with his flint against his hook. At least, he had hoped it would be quickly, but the ever present humidity made that difficult; and then David was again pushing him aside with some firestarter from his realm. Bloody hell, was that man stubborn. But it had the desired effect, and Emma quickly realized where they were. “Neal,” she said on a breath, studying the chalk drawings that covered nearly every surface. “This is where he lived.” 
“Aye,” he confirmed. “Baelfire spent some time in Neverland as a boy. This was his home.” His eyes were immediately drawn to a reproduction of the port and starboard coordinates that were still etched into the Jolly Roger’s helm, sending a wave of guilt and sadness through him.
The group wasted no time in beginning to search for a clue as to how Bae had left; clearly, it had been in a rush. And if Killian used it as an excuse to hover around Emma...well, that was his business. 
“Anything important?” he asked as she inspected the wall.
“I can't tell yet. I didn't know he liked drawing.” 
“He got it from his mother,” Killian found himself blurting out; it was also easy to see Milah’s influence in Bae’s style, and his hand immediately fluttered to his belly on instinct. Emma gave him a sympathetic half smile, but then turned her attention back to the task at hand—and in the process, discovered the way off...partly. 
It was a rather ingenious device, he had to admit: a star map hidden in a coconut. Practical and creative; he couldn’t help the rush of pride he felt when he explained it to the group.
“Then you can read it,” Regina stated, uncharacteristically hopeful. Which made the next part all the harder. 
“Sadly, no.” Because of course, Bae had made sure to encode the coordinates in a manner that only he could read.
“Which means the only person who can read it is dead,” Emma summarized, clearly upset. She tossed the map aside and hurried out of the cave in a fluster. Her parents tried to follow, but didn’t get far before she told them she needed space.
Kililan only waited a minute before following.
She was only a few yards outside the cave entrance, forearm pressed against a tree as she stared at the ground and, most likely, was trying not to express any undesired emotion.
“You alright, love?” he said quietly, not wanting to startle her. 
She huffed. “No, not really. Just one step forward and three back, every fucking day.”
She continued to rant without any input from him—about the jungle, about Pan, about missing Henry, and her mixed feelings toward Bae. And it became abundantly clear to Killian that she needed a respite (he certainly could use one, too).
He knew just the place, too. “Swan, can I show you something?”
“Is it another way off the island?”
“Afraid not, but I think it’s what you need right now.”
She sighed, mildly defeated (which was still as much as he’d ever seen from her), but nodded.
It was a short walk to their destination—still within earshot of the Charmings if needed—but far enough to give them both some needed room to breathe. He brushed back a swag of foliage (after checking for dreamshade) and gestured for Emma to step through. 
Years ago, he’d discovered the small spring here; one of the few parts of the island not bent on murdering its inhabitants. The water was fresh and cool, and various fruits and edible plants grew around the edge. Back then, he’d made a point to keep access to it open for Bae; he was relieved to see nothing had changed, save for the few vines grown over the entrance. 
“It’s beautiful,” Emma sighed—a heavy thing of both awe and relief. 
“Aye. Only a few places like it on the island.”
“Let me guess: the water is acid or something?”
He chuckled. “Blessedly, no. It’s one of the safest places here, actually. Bae would come here often—for water, and to bathe.”
She sighed. “Yeah, one of those sounds great right about now.”
“Go right ahead,” he said, gesturing to the spring. “I’ll keep a lookout for you.”
She arched an eyebrow and smirked. “How do I know this isn’t just a ploy to get me out of my clothes? Don’t forget: I know what pregnancy hormones are like.”
She wasn’t wrong, and he couldn’t help the rush of thrill when she flirted with him like that, sarcastic as it was—or the slight southern rush of blood. “Well, I had planned to do the same, if you’d offer me the same courtesy once you’re done.”
“Okay. But turn around,” she directed. He couldn’t say no to that.
He also wasn’t about to divulge the places his imagination wandered as he heard the gentle splashes of water as she cleaned herself.
She didn’t take long—he could tell she was used to being efficient when it came to hygiene, like he was—and was fully dressed by the time he turned around, though her wet hair was still dripping. And he was more relieved than he planned on that she was already facing away when it came time to remove his tunic; he was by no means ashamed of the curve of his belly, but showing off something that was apparently unnatural to the woman he fancied was suddenly a mortifying endeavor.
He was quick, too, in washing up, and in getting redressed—at least his tunic; he let his vest hang unbuttoned for a bit. It had also been a minor bit of relief to undo it, and he’d need a moment to subtly loosen the laces in order to make it both more comfortable and better disguise his slight bump.
He’d given Emma the all clear to turn around before he did that, though, lest she get suspicious. Although—she seemed mildly disappointed when she did.
“What’s wrong, love?”
“Nothing, just...you didn’t have to hide your bump, if that’s what you were doing,” she said, avoiding his gaze.
“Bummed you couldn’t see me shirtless?” he quipped.
That drew a wry, side-eyed grin from her, before she sat down on a stone near the edge of the spring and took a long sip from her freshly filled jug. There was enough space on it next to her for another person to join, but he didn’t want to impose...at least, not until she called out, “Are you gonna join me or not?”
He picked up his vest and coat from where he’d left them in the sand of the small beach and made his way over, then settled next to her. She passed over the canteen; the water was cool and refreshing—and he nearly dropped it when the babe gave a strong kick. “I guess this one likes it too,” he said after he passed it back, and let his hand rest over his belly. It wasn’t often he felt strong movements like that, but each one was reassuring—that his babe was safe from all the dangers of this murderous island.
“Have they been doing that a lot?” Emma asked.
“Here and there; that’s one of the stronger ones I’ve felt.”
“I remember when Henry first did that,” she started. “I dropped my lunch tray, I was so startled. And they wouldn’t give me any more food. But it was...kind of incredible.”
He only understood half those words, but understood the sentiment. “I was still locked up in Tamara’s apartment when I felt the first one.”
“What a coincidence; I was in prison.”
He was growing to hate the number of parallels in their lives.
“Anyways—how’s everything else? Any nausea, cravings, anything?”
It was touching that she was so concerned, but he didn’t dare complain about anything other than the intermittent nausea. As she’d said, she knew about the hormones. “Although, my boots have been annoying tight,” he did add, “and I need to loosen my vest a bit.”
Her eyes had drifted to his midsection, but quickly glanced up. He couldn’t fault her for being curious, so he tugged the edge of his tunic up to reveal his stomach.
“Aww, that’s a cute bump,” she gushed; it was an odd thing to say, he thought, but she clearly meant it as a compliment. “You said sixteen weeks, right?”
“Aye,” he answered, impressed she remembered.
“Yeah, I think that’s where I was with Henry around then. I carried it all in front, apparently.” She quickly grew quiet, and he could tell that wasn’t the sort of thing she shared with too many people. But then her expression grew quizzical. “Can I ask...how, or where, exactly are you carrying?”
“I clearly have a womb,” he said, trying to make light of what was clearly going to be an awkward anatomical conversation.
“Well, yeah, but…you’re a guy. Also clearly,” she responded, eyes glancing at his groin.
“Yes; I have both, then, if that’s what you’re asking, but my womb is...I suppose less functional than yours.”
“So...what, you don’t get periods or something? How does this all work?”
He chuckled at her bluntness and explained—how his womb was something of a secondary characteristic, menstruation only occurred once a year or so, and conception was also only possible at a specific time and when the female partner was on top (a fact that made her blush). “Milah and I...our last joining before she died, it would have been the right circumstances, but given how slim the chances of conception were, it wasn’t something we were concerned with.”
“It only takes once,” she said knowingly.
“That it does,” he agreed.
They settled into an easy silence, and the baby started kicking again, even more once he put his palm over it.
“Do you...want to feel it?” he asked; no one but the doctor had thus far, but he knew women and their partners and friends usually shared those moments. They counted as friends, right?
He was worried she might think he was crossing a line, but she grinned. “Yeah!”
Gently, he took her hand and placed it over the spot just to the side of his navel where the babe was pressing. Hopefully, she didn’t notice his quick intake of breath at the feel of her warm palm on his skin.
If she did, it was quickly forgotten when the little one was kicking at her hand; her eyes lit up. “Hey there, kid,” she said softly. “Look at you, growing big and strong.”
She looked up at him, smiling—and very close to him, a fact she too seemed to suddenly realize, and she quickly moved away. 
They lingered at the pond a while longer, enjoying the respite from the craziness of their journey. 
But Killian couldn’t stop his heart from racing, and he wasn’t sure if it was from Emma’s proximity, or her interest in his babe, or both.
(Emma, she was surprised to find, was facing a similar predicament. She couldn’t linger on it, she knew, but maybe when they were done, she could try to figure out what that meant.)
But for one minute, they were just two friends enjoying a quiet moment.
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