#ugh im sorry its just life is going by so fast and I cant catch a break
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“Did you get enough love? My little dove… why do you cry?”
#vent art#genya#genya shinazugawa#shinazugawa#personal vent#vent#kny#demon slayer#ugh im sorry its just life is going by so fast and I cant catch a break#SoundCloud
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Hello to all :)
My free time is so limited lately, I barely have any time for wtiting :( And it's so frustrating!
Anyway, here is the next part of the story.
Wish you all a nice and relaxing weekend! :)
CALL OF THE RAVEN
PART 23
Mayas POV
In the following days the calls stopped. Nothing was happening actually, and I didn't know what to think of it. Was that a good thing? Or was there something worse coming my way? I did feel a bit calmer with the calls gone, but that sinister feeling was still much present with me. Jake left when we woke up, saying he has to go do something, grinning at me before leaving. He seemed less worried too about everything, but I had a feeling something else was bothering him. I dont know how long it passed, I was lost in my work, when he entered the room, smiling at me from the door „Right where I left you.“ „Hey you.“ I said smiling back, taking my headphones down. „What you been up to?“ „Wouldn't you want to know.“ He grinned „Come on, get up and get dressed.“ „Oh god, not that again.“ I said desperatly, and he laughed. „Dont worry, nothing happened. Just do it.“ „All right.“ I said, getting up and dressing. „What's this all about?“ I asked curious when I was done, and he just walked to the doors, opening them „You'll see.“ „Ok, mister 'oh-so-mysterious'.“ I was about to take my phone „No,no, leave it, you dont need it.“ I turned surprised to him „All right, now I really want to know what's this all about.“ I said, crossing my hands at my chest. He rolled his eyes, walking to me. He gave me a quick kiss, taking my hand pulling me towards the door „Just trust me, and come on already.“
Leaving the motel, Jake lead me to the car, popping the trunk. He took out the blanket handing it to me, and a big paper bag filled with stuff, I couldn't see with what exactly. He closed the trunk, and started walking towards the woods. He turned to me when he realized I was still standing confused by the car. „Coming?“ he grinned at me. I raised my eyebrow „To the woods?“ He smirked „Awww, dont be scared, angel, I'll hold your hand.“ He winked and continued. When did he get so cocky? I quickly followed after him, and he grinned as I catched up with him, holding his hand out for me. I stuck my tongue at him, he just shook his head and smiled. „Whats in the bag?“ I asked after we walked for a while, trying to peep in it. He just shifted it under his other hand „You'll see.“ „Fine, I wont ask anything anymore.“ I said making a pouty face. He looked sideway at me „That face wont work on me, I'm still not telling you anything.“ „Come on, thats not fair.“ I protested, but he just laughed again „Can't you just be patient a little?“ „I can“ I said „I'm just too curious of a person.“ I grinned. „You do know what they say of 'curiosity' and the 'cat'?“ he said teasingly to me. „Ah, but the cat has nine lives.“ I countered and grinned again. „And besides“ I said „ going for a movie, or dinner would be less..uncomfortable, then wandering through the woods.“ He looked at me grinning „ Admit it, you just desperatly want to see that new movie with Chris Hemsworth.“ I laughed „I'm surprised you actually know what's playing in the cinema at the moment.“ I said teasingly. „Why so surprised? I do watch movies.“ He said and grinned. „Good to know your whole world doesn't revolve arround computers.“ I said grinning back at him. „Oh, I can assure you it doesnt.“ He said. „But, yes, computers are my biggest passion for sure, been that way since I was a kid.“ I was taken aback by his words, he never before said anything remotely similar, so I just stared at him. He turned to me „Why are you looking at me like that?“ „Like what?“ I asked, still surprised. „So astonished.“ „Well, to be honest“ I said „Because I never heard you talk like this before. About yourself.“ „Well, Maya“ he said and smiled „You never asked me anything about it.“ „And if I did, you would tell me?“ i asked surprised. „Ofcourse.“ He said without hesitation. „Anything I ask, you would answer?“ I asked again and he stopped walking, turning to me. „Look, I know you are curious, and yes, you can ask me anything. I might decide not to answer some questions, but it wont mean I dont trust you or anything like that. So, please, just keep that in mind, all right?“ I just looked at him for a moment. „All right.“ I said finaly. „Good.“ He said and continued walking. „Can you tell me now where are you taking me?“ I asked teasingly and grinned coming beside him. He looked at me and groaned „Dont make me regret this.“
After walking for a while longer, we finaly emerged from the woods, and I stopped and stared at the sight in front of me, smile widening on my face. The Blackwater lake was even more beautiful seeing it with my own eyes. The sun was out, making the color of the water silvery, soft wind blowing making the ripples on the surface sparkle like diamonds. The woods surrounding the lake and the singing of birds gave a serene atmosphere to it. It was amazing, so I just closed my eyes, the sun warm on my face, making a mental picture of it in my mind. I opened my eyes, turning to Jake. He was looking at me with a smile, his phone in his hand. „Did you just take a picture of me?“ I asked, walking towards him. „Yes I did.“ He said, and I groaned desperatly „Ugh, delete it, please, I turn out terrible on pictures.“ He smiled, his eyes sparkling „Nonsence, you looked beautiful just now.“ I blushed a bit, I was never good at receiving compliments. „I think the sun is making you delusional, maybe I should be the judge of it.“ I said grinning. He laughed „I'm not showing you the picture, you will just delete it without looking at it.“ „Fine“ I said, squinting my eyes at him „I'll just do it while you sleep.“ „Ha! Good luck with breaking my password first.“ He grinned at me. I pouted my lips „And its not fair, why do you have your phone, but I couldnt take mine? I like to take pictures, too!“ He smiled, hugging me arround my waist „Because, you are here with me, and nothing can happen to you, so you dont need your phone for me to be at peace.“ He leaned and kissed me softly. „And besides“ he said and smiled „I wanted to have you all for myself, with no distractions.“ I smiled. „But, what if something happens to you, and I have to call for help?“ I said all serious. „You have to tell me your password, it's for your own protection.“ I grinned, and he sighed and shook his head „You so ruined the moment.“ He said, taking the blanket from me, spreading it on the ground. „Oh, I'm sorry, don't be cross at me.“ I said, feeling guilty for it. „I'll make it up to you.“ I said, as we both sat down. He streched on the blanket, leaning back on his elbows „Hmm, I dont know, you would have to come up with something really good.“ „Something really good..“ I said toughtfully. „What could that be..“ I said, biting at my lower lip, my other hand playing teasingly with the zipper of his hoodie. His breathing got heavier, and I leaned slowly to him, stopping so close, my lips barely brushing his. „How am I doing so far?“ I breathed it out almost whispering, looking him in the eyes. He swallowed hard „Pretty damn good.“ I smiled, kissing him softly and unzipping his hoodie. His hands wrapped arround me, and he deepened the kiss, laying me on my back. He broke the kiss after a moment, his eyes sparkling „And you are lucky, because I just cant resist you.“
Jakes POV
„Are you really asking me that?“ I said laughing. She was laying with her head on my stomach, eyes closed, and I played with her hair. She turned to me „Yes.“ She grinned „Why? Are you embarrassed to give me an honest answer?“ I chuckled „No, but are you sure you want to hear the honest answer?“ I raised my eyebrow „I was pretty wild when I was younger.“ „Ugh“ she groaned „Alrighty, next question.“ I laughed again „Come one, dont tell me you wer and 'angel' back then?“ She blushed a bit, averting her look from me. „All right, all right, I said next question.“ She asked after a moment „Ok, where did you grew up?“ Ah, here we go, I thought, personal questions, but I didnt mind, I was expecting it. „Well,not that far from here, actually. My mom moved back with my grandma when she found out she was pregnant.“ „You said before, Hannah and Lily are the only family you have left, so I persume she passed?“ she asked. „Yes, when I was 12.“ „Oh, im sorry to hear that.“ She said softly. „Its fine.“ I said. She was silent for a while „Do you think your life would turn out differently if she was still alive?“ „I dont know“ I answered honestly after a moment. „I was always fascinated by computers and all this 'hacking' stuff, so I can't really know if something would end up different.“ „What was she like?“ she asked then. I was silent for a moment, memories coming back. „I'm sorry if its too personal.“ She said to me. „No, it's all right.“ I smiled at her. „She was amazing. She was firm, but soft when needed, she always stood her ground. She was tough on me, but showed me nothing but love.“ It was strange for me talking about my mom to someone, but it felt nice. I was amazed how easily it was for me to say all this to her. And she was genuinely interested, intensly listening to my every word. I smiled again „She would always say to me 'Jakey, my boy, always listen to your heart, not your head, no matter what. The heart knows best.'“ „It sounds to me like she was a wonderful person, and a great mom.“ She said to me, smiling softly. „She was.“ I said smiling back at her. „She would have liked you very much.“ „Wish I could have met her.“ She said and smiled. Her face got serious „What happened to her, if you don't mind me asking?“ „I dont mind“ I said. „She got sick, it was getting worse fast, and she passed some months after we found out about it.“ She turned, staring at the sky. „Its not fair.“ She said after a moment. „What isn't?“ I asked. She turned to me „That good people like that leave so soon.“ Her eyes got watery so she turned her head away, and my heart skipped a beat. I turned her head back to face me, her eyes glazed. „Dont get sad on me now.“ I said smiling softly at her, tucking the loose hair behind her ear. „I'm sorry“ she said, giving me a small smile „I'm soft on things like that.“ I just stared at her. Her emotions surprised me once more, her sadness was so real, so sincere, I was amazed. And I knew, right here, right at this moment, my heart belongs to her forever. I knew I was in love. I pulled her to me, kissing her gently. „You really are an angel.“ I said to her, and she blushed a bit before smiling. „Dont praise me, or you might end up disappointed.“ „Thats not possible.“ I said kissing her once more. She smiled again before moving to lay back. „What happened after she passed? Did you stay with your grandma?“ she asked. „Yes“ I said „Until I was 18, then I left.“ „Where to?“ „Well, I found a group of people who shared my interests, so I joined them. I was with them for quite long, and learned much from them.“ „I'm sensing a 'but' here.“ She said and I smiled at her „You are right.“ I said. „But, they became a bit too extreem for my taste, so I moved on.“ „So you joined someone else?“ she asked. „No, I was on my own from then. I did meet some new people after it, but never joined any groups.“ „What about friends?“ she asked serious. I laughed „Yes, angel, I do have friends. Some of them are really good friends of mine, the ones I trust.“ „Thats good to hear.“ She grinned „Maybe I will meet them one day.“ „Hm, if
you stick with me long enough, maybe.“ I said and winked. She smiled, before getting serious again. „How did you find out about Hannah and Lily?“ I sighed „Well, I didnt get along well with my grandma after my mom passed, so after I left I havent really seen or heard from her much. I found out later some lawyer was trying to contact me when she passed, so I met with him.“ „What happened?“ she asked curious. „He told me my grandma left everything to me, since there wasnt any other beneficiary. So I went back, collected important stuff, and sold the house. It wasnt really till few years back, when I went through some old stuff from my mom that I found out about them.“ She turned to me „It must have been hard finding out like that.“ „It was.“ I admitted. „I was really angry at first, at my mom, and my grandma, for not telling me anything about it. It took me a while to cope with it.“ „What happened then?“ „Well, the rest you actually know.“ She looked puzzled at me. I sighed „After I cooled of, I decided to contact Hannah. I was curious. At the same time, thats when i ended up in trouble. And all the other things that happened. So there, that's it basicly, now you know the whole story.“ „All right“ she said „But, can you tell me anything about the trouble you got in? Or why you are so mysterious about the 'people' you do things for now?“ „I had a hunch you will ask that eventually.“ I said. „Can you blame me?“ she asked „It worries me. If I knew more of it, I might get calmer a bit.“ She looked so intensly at me, I knew I had to tell her at least something. „All right“ I said „I wont go into much details, and I want you to promise me, you won't ask anything more then what I'm gonna tell you about it after. Can you do that?“ She just looked at me for a while. „All right.“ She siad finaly. „And I need one more promise from you.“ „No, I won't tell anyone about what you will tell me.“ She grinned. „That's no it.“ I said, and her face got serious and worried. „Then what?“ I sighed „You have to promise me, you won't feel guilty after I tell you this.“ „Guilty? Me?“ she asked surprised. „Why would I? What's it got to do with me?“ „Do you want to know or not?“ I asked. „Ofcourse!“ she exclimed „Now even more then before.“ „Then I'm serious, Maya. No guilty feelings, ok?“ „Ok,ok, I promise.“ She said, but I knew it will affect her eitherway. „All right.“ I said, taking a deep breath. „I got a hold of some information, something that I wasnt suppose to find. And I got caught doing it. So thats when all this shit started happening. I had to move constantly, as you know already. I kept what I found, hoping one day that information will serve as my ticket out of anything if needed.“ „Ok, that doesn't sound that bad so far.“ She said. „Well, my plans changed abruptly.“ I said, looking for the right words to continue this. „Why?“ she asked. I had no idead how else to say this, so I just did. „You.“ „Me?“ she asked, and I just nodded. She didn't say anything for a while. „But, what I have to do wit...“ she fel silent. I could see on her face her mind was racing, connecting the dots. „No...“ she breathed it out after a moment. „Maya...remember what you promised me.“ I said, raising my eyebrow at her. „But..no.. it can't...“ she stuttered. She got in sitting position, hugging her legs. „Me coming here, to Duskwood..you had to do something you didn't plan on, right?“ „Something like that, yes.“ I answered her honestly. „Oh, god.“ She said desperately „I completely messed your plans, didnt I? I ruined everything for you.“ She lovered her head on her knees. „Hey, look at me.“ I told her, and she slowly lifted her head. I moved to her, sitting also. „I don't blame you for anything. It was my decision. I wouldn't do anything differently, belive me.“ „But, because of me, things got even more complicated for you, again.“ I smiled „I don't care.“ „How can you say that?“ she asked in disbelief. „If it means I can be with you, I really don't care.“ She looked at me for a moment, suddenly throwing herself at me, hugging me tight. „I am so sorry for
everything I've put you through.“ She said. I hugged her back even tighter „Nothing to be sorry about, angel. “ She held me tight for a moment more before moving away „How can you still call me that, after everything?“ I smiled, taking her hand „Because nothing changed.“ I leaned, kissing her softly. „Thank you. I really dont know how you can still put up with me, when all I ever did was complicate things for you.“ she said a bit gloomy, lowering her head. „Don't you ever think like that.“ I said, and she looked back at me. „I'm right where I want to be. It's all that I ever wanted since I met you, to be with you. And nothing will change that, ever.“ She just looked at me, her eyes getting teary. She hugged me again, burrying her head to my neck „I really don't deserve you.“ she said. I smiled, wrapping my hands arround her. She wasn't even aware of how much my life changed for better because of her. „Oh, I'm pretty sure it's the other way arround, angel.“ She lifted her head „ You just say that to make me feel better.“ „No, I really mean it.“ I said. „ But if it makes you feel better, then that's just a bonus.“ I grinned at her. She laughed, shaking her head „You're impossible.“ „Hey, don't steal my line!“ I said teasingly. She laughed „Wait, I tought your line was ' You're amazing '.“ „It is.“ I said. She grinned „Then this one is mine now, you can't have both!“ I laughed „Fine, fine, you can have it.“ She got serious again „Ok, joking aside, tell me just one more thing, please. The people you 'work' for now, are they the ones you took the information from?“ „Oh, god, thankfully not.“ I said. „Then who are they?“ „That, unfortunately, I can't tell you. For now, at least.“ „All right“ she said „I won't ask more about it, I said so. But, can you at least tell me, for my peace of mind, what you do now, is it something you detest?“ She actually got me thingking with this question. „Hm, no, definitely not.“ I said after a moment. „I still do what I'm good at, just in a way I'm not used to. I don't know how to explain it better without telling you something I shouldn't.“ She was silent for a while. „Thank you.“ she said „For telling me all this.“ I smiled „No need to thank me, angel. Did you at least get you curiousity satisfied now?“ „Oh, I got more then I expected.“ She said gravely. I chuckled „Well, be careful what you wish for next time.“ I said teasingly. „Mhm, I definatly will.“ She said and laughed. „Well, I do have just one more question.“ „You do?“ I asked, raising my eyebrow. „Yes.“ She said all serious. „Can I see what's in that bag finaly?!“ she grinned, and I shook my head. „What?“ she protested „I'm hoping you have something to drink in there, I'm thirsty as hell.“ I laughed handing her the bag „I'm sure you'll find something to your taste in there.“ „Ohmygosh“ she squealed out checking the bag „You had all this stuff in here, and you let me starve and be thirsty all this time!“ I chuckled „The bag was here all this time, you could just take it.“ I said, reaching in the bag to take a bottle of water myself. She slapped my hand „Hey, what's that for?“ „Wait for your turn.“ She said serious. „That's what you get for keeping things from me.“ „Aww, don't be like that, angel. At least give me the water so I don't dehydrate, I think I deserve that much.“ I said trying to be dramatic and act hurt. She looked at me for a moment, taking the bottle and handing it to me „Be happy with this. I'll think about if I will share the rest with you.. Jakey.“ I laughed „Thanks. And please, don't call me that“ I groaned pleadingly „I never liked it, anyway.“ She grinned „Oh, I'm SO gonna use it just to annoy you from now on.“
Mayas POV
The sun was slowly starting to settle down. I stared at the calming water of the lake, thoughtfully licking my fingers from the melted chocolate we just finished. My mind was still processing all that Jake told me. Even though he left out some things, I learned a lot about him. And I was happy he did it, and amazed how open he was with me, I felt so much closer to him now. My feelings for him got even stronger, I liked him even more now. Liked...is that the right word to describe how I feel? I knew better. A smile forming on its own on my lips, and the warm feeling spreading throuhg me from just the tought of it was a clear sign – I was in love. „What's on your mind?“ he asked me, wrapping his hands arround me from behind. I smiled and leaned back against him „ I was just thinking, how I wish this day could last a bit longer.“ He smiled „Glad you liked my little surprise.“ „Oh, I loved it, belive me. The whole day was like a beautiful dream.“ I said and smiled. But the smile slowly vanished from my face. „Unfortunately, reality is hitting back at me like a wrecking ball.“ He sighed „I'm sorry, angel. I wish things wer different, I really do.“ „I wish that, too.“ I said. I turned my head to look at him „But, I'm lucky I don't have to go through it alone. I'm glad you're with me.“ He looked at me, his gaze determined, the reflection form the lakes grey water in his eyes giving that determination even more intensity „As long as I breathe, and as long as you let me, I will always be here for you. You will never be alone.“ I just stared at him, what he said sent tingles all over my skin, and before I knew, the words just left me. „I love you.“ I tensed and my eyes widened, as the realization of what I said hit me. He just looked at me. I got up sitting, turning to him. „Ok, ok, don't freak out on me now.“ I said. „But it's true, I do love you.“ My heart was beating fast, and the words just continue to leave me. „I know it's crazy, right?! We barely know each other, but I can't deny how I feel.“ I was beginning to sound a bit histerical by now. I dared not to look at him, I was affraid what I might see on his face, so I lowered my head, staring at my hands. „It's just.. I don't know.. Just feels right, you and me, being together.“ I was talking fast, scared what he might say if I stop. „It was like my life was missing something, and then you came along. You wer that one missing puzzle piece in it, and now the picture is complete.“ My voice started cracking. „Dont worry, I dont expect from you to say it back. I mean, who could blame you if you don't. I completely jumped you just now with it.“ My hands started to shake, and I clasped them, nervously rubbing them together, feeling my palms sweat more with every passing second. I stood up, hoping my legs won't betray me from how nervous and terrified I felt. I took a few steps towards the lake, a knot forming in my throath. What have I done - I tought to myself desperatly. „You know what, just forget it“ I started, not turning arround, staring at the lake „ Just forget everything I just said. I take it all back. Just pre...“ „Don't you dare!“ I was cut mid sentence by him, and I turned arround. He was already on his feet. „What?“ I asked bewildered. „You can't take it back.“ He said, coming towards me. „Don't take it back.“ he said stopping in front of me, his voice trembling a bit. „Don't, because...“ he started, his eyes glistening „Because, I love you, too.“ I gasped, and just stared at him, as the sound of my heart beating frantically echoed louder and lounder in my ears. “From the moment you entered my life, I knew things will change. You made my head spin. A complete stranger.“ He said, and I just continued to stare at him. „ But I was so drawn to you, I couldn't think of anything but you. It was driving me insane, I could barely function normal!“ He paused for a moment, catching his breath. „ And you wer, you are, the best thing that ever happened to me. You changed my life for better. With you, I finaly feel alive again.“ He was looking so intensly at me, his eyes
glowing. „ And I can't find the right words to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I love you .“ My head started to spin, and I threw my hands arround his neck, feeling as if the earth beneth my feet was dissapearing. But it was my own feet giving up on me, I didn't realize I was holding my breath all this time. His hands quickly wrapped arround me, pulling me tightly to him. „You all right there, angel?“ he asked, not taking his eyes off of mine. „Im fine.“ I said after a moment, my feet steady again, air coming back to my lungs. „Good.“ He said rising his eyebrow „So, you won't faint or something if I kiss you now?“ I smiled, shaking my head „Oh, shush it, and just kiss me already.“
As we walked hand in hand back to the motel, I couldn't shake off the goofy grin from my face. This day turned out to be perfect. I was happy, and nothing, nor anyone could change that. Whatever happens from now on, I knew I will be all right, as long as I have him by my side.
How little did I know.
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(I think it's a word over 500, but:)
"Speaking of Tsukishiro, how's he doing?", Eriol asks. Frying pan to fire to volcano.
"He's good," Touya says quickly, before Sakura can say anything. Yukito is not even in the ballpark of "good". Yesterday he called Touya and begged him to bike over and said it was important and when Touya showed up he was asleep, and stayed fast asleep right through to the next morning. He keeps trying to make appointments with doctors, and then falling asleep before he can call, or, when Touya calls for him, before he can make it out the door. Privately, Touya isn't sure how much good a doctor can do for him, but anything has to be better than this, right?
"Really? I'm glad to hear it." Ugh, how much has Sakura told him. Not that she doesn't have a right to talk to her friends, but, come on, would it kill her to least keep it between her and Tomoyo and the funny looking cat.
He's good, that's an obvious lie. Ruby has said Yukito could barely stand upright at school. Every inch of Touya Kinomoto is packed full of magic. Sooner or later, Eriol figures, either Sakura will be powerful enough to sustain him, or Yue will have to get over himself and just eat already. Touya can't actually do anything with his magic, so it's not like Yue, even weak as he is, will have to face much of a struggle to take it. (Aside from competition with Ruby, of course. There's something to that, right, articles and studies about animals being healthier if they need a bit of careful planning to get their food? Yes, so this works out nicely.)
Or maybe- oh, that's probably it. Yue's on to him, isn't he? He's just being stubborn as usual, figuring sooner or later Clow will appear via Eriol and save him. He can imagine how surprised, overjoyed, grateful Yue would be, if Eriol showed up and saved his life. He can imagine Yue's head resting on his neck as clearly as if he had kept Yue well-fed with magic a thousand times in his lifetime. It would be nice, in the short run, but it wouldn't be right, no. Clow is dead, and Yue needs to learn to live with that. If he knows what's good for him, he will take responsibility for his own life, and if he doesn't...
Ahh, well, maybe it's Clow's old sentimentality, maybe Eriol is just warming up to Sakura's moon guardian all on his own, but he can't bring himself around to the idea of letting Yue just die. He'd save him, if it came down to it. But, he tells himself sternly, only as an absolute last resort. He's just worrying because he misses Yue and wants to get to know him better all at once in that past-and-future way- it's worth a visit, soon. Yes, a nice little visit, and Yue will never even have to know it happened. Just to check in.
(sorry the formatting got weird when i copypasted lol!)
hiiii thanks for the ask!!!
if we talk about this convo we need to back up and talk about how it got here. this should give you some idea of how badly this needs to be under a cut for length lol.
so it all starts with the bit about how someone falling and being caught is something that happens a lot in ccs. how with eriol, it's purposeful, and with fujitaka (and i misremembered it but since found out she fell *on* him and not *caught* by him, which lolol i hope he broke a bone, but also its fine the fic's already marked canon divergent, or maybe the story gets misremembered, whatever, in any case), it's an echo of clowriol's intentional artificial-trustbuild-dangersaves but without the magic or purpose to back it up (just like fujitaka himself!), but it's a situation he quickly makes favorable to him, because it may be a blank slate but it's made of the same material.
this whole convo was part of one of the very first chunks written, but everything was going to go in a very different direction at first. (there's a lot of Cut Content from this fic, some that i just didn't like, some that wasn't connectable with the rest of the fic after it took the shape it took but might pop up somewhere else one day idk). in this particular bit i cut the later half of the conversation because i really didn't like what i'd written, but then even though the direction of the story changed the conversation was still going so it had to bounce somewhere else, so it bounced to yukito. here we are answering your ask 2 paragraphs in!
yukito, iirc in the anime, did catch her from a fall, (in the manga, which made way more sense for why she had to change her clothes and rest so much, he saved her from drowning, again iirc because who can trust a memory) and at a point where eriol still has some investment in making yuekito/sakura (ewwwww) happen, he's going to try and draw on that symbolism to nudge her in that direction, right?
so all this said, SPEAKING of yuekito. how are they doing.
bad, obviously. touya's freaking out. i imagine that part of what's stopping yukito from seeing a doctor is yue, though- he knows it wont help, and i dont think yukito has, like, person insides that will stand up to medical tests, and yue would pick up on yukito like, not wanting to be outed to the doctor as a magic construct because he, like, doesnt actually have a real heart that pulses, just a repeating heartbeat sound. doesn't for real have blood etc to test, just records of blood type (for personality reasons).
and also touya's a very like keep-ur-problems-not-everybodys-business type so hes like imagining sakura venting her fears to this weirdo and getting pissed off. but that didnt actually happen, eriol knew all on his own lolol. touya you have to say something nice should happen to sakura to make up for wrongly suspecting her now
and this bit on eriol's end is all wrong information and inaccurate conclusions and i was really worried ppl would take it at face value but i hope nobody did. in ccs we get moments where eriol wants sakura to take power, or to learn that power can be taken- his final battle with her, for example, where the answer to his light and dark puzzle is to use kero and yue's power, except that's not something she would ever Want to do or would even Occur to her to try. the power is gifted to her by kero and yue (and syaoran!) because they love her.
same concept, here- the answer to the 'yue is dying' puzzle is to eat touya's power, and he can't imagine the real reason why he won't just do that, and when he thinks about it too long it goes right to his ego- yue looovvvvesss clow, and by extension me. he wants meeeeeee to save him. he wants to neck kissy MY magic soo sooooo bad. but yue isn't considering any of that at all. he's thinking about yukito and what touya means to yukito and why that would make yukito hesitate to reach out, and that no way in hell will he just ambush his other self's crush down a dark alley and take his magic, even to save both their lives. he's a lot more selfless than clow and eriol ever realize. maybe- this is just a half formed thought right now, i dont know if im like certain about it, but- maybe they feel his devotion to clow was a form of selfishness, that he Wanted Love as a thing he could hold and own, whereas pretty much everybody else who meets him goes like YOU SELFLESS MAN YOU CANT JUST DIE FOR PPL YOU CARE ABOUT YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOOOO
and there’s also that bit of teacherliness intrinsic to the three of them again: im doing this to teach him a lesson. im letting ruby do her thing without telling her what’s going on to help and encourage yue, etc.
anyway, that (in terms of fic weaving itself into canon) solidifies his decision to do uhmmmm a thing that creeps me out real bad in the anime (knocking yue out to have a moment with him, and oh, ding, there's another 'you fell but i caught you' moment!). eriol loves this manner of hanging out with people, you see it later in this fic, even:
It's important to say what's in your heart to the people you want to say it to, even if you have to make sure the other person never hears it. It's important for your own emotional freedom.
he loves to spend time with people exclusively on his terms, to the point where the other party never even knew he was there, because he knocked them out, or because he was just staring creepily at the outside of sakura's house while she did homework, etc etc etc.
tldr: it's all connected, aaaaaaaaa
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12:35 am Jaehyunnie time (M)
The whole frat house was going wild because its both Valentines and Jaehyun’s birthday. A special day for everyone specially for you and Jaehyun. He promised ‘Jaehyunnie time’ after exams week and you’re both excited for it, you even bought a nice lingerie as a treat for your boyfriend.
Unfortunately, you got carried away and you drank too much alcohol already. The party started only 4 hours ago but you’re already shit-faced and throwing up to the sink. You drank anything and everything Ten gave you: Vodka, Tequila, beers, and a whole lot of mixed this and that. Now you’re too drunk to even cary yourself and your boyfriend has to cary you in his room.
“Baby I thought we’ll spend the night together?” Jaehyun talks to you while dragging you to his room, grunting because you’re actually heavy.
“Yo Jae! Going to sleep already?” Johnny exclaims, when he saw Jaehyun bringing you upstairs. “The night is still young!”
“Yeah I know, sorry but duty calls. Enjoy the night, I’ll go down if she sobers up”
Jaehyun lays you in bed gently tucking you in and making sure you’re comfortable. He removed your shoes and sat next to you, “You’re even more beautiful when you’re sleeping” he placed a soft kiss on your cheek and boops your nose. You felt that someone is messing with your face so with all your energy, you hit Jaehyun on the chest. Not very hard because you’re drunk, but the gesture startled him. “What was that for?” He asked, his voice still so soft and sweet it almost sound like he’s singing.
Given that you’re drunk, you cant recognise your own boyfriend. In your eyes, you’re with a stranger who’s ready to take advantage of you. “I have a boyfriend, I cant cheat on him” pushing him away, Jaehyun was catching your hands trying to make you calm and pinning both of your hands on the bed so you could stop hitting him.
He gets whats happening now, he was smiling like a fool trying not to laugh and ruin the moment. “Oh yeah you have a boyfriend? Is he handsome?” He’s smirking but you cant see it.
You scoffed and grabbed one of his pillows, “Psh! He’s only the most handsome guy in this university. Jung fucking Jaehyun!” you shout with pride making your boyfriend blush and giggle quietly.
“Is he good to you?” He asked again, not sure if he could hold on to his laughter even more. This time, he bravely lays beside you. Hoping you won’t kick him out of his own bed.
“So good! He’s such a gentleman most of the time. Perfect! Just - ugh! The things I want to do to him just gets me really - ugh!” you let out a frustrated groan, venting your rage of frustration to the pillow that you’re holding. Jaehyun almost felt bad for his pillow, “I want to kiss him right now” you pout facing Jaehyun, he wanted to kiss that pout away.
“Tell me more about him” he knew he shouldn’t take advantage of your drunken state, but you were sweet and adorable he couldn’t help it. “May I know the things you want to do with that handsome man you’re talking about? Hmm?” He asked out of curiosity and honestly he just wanted to talk to you more. It doesn’t matter if you’re drunk, he just wanted to spend some more time with you.
You smiled before talking about your boyfriend, making his heart beat fast and ears turn red. You told the ‘stranger’ how you and Jaehyun first met and how his smile instantly made you head over heels to him. How he makes your day better whenever you’re having a shitty one. “Jaehyun made my colorful life even more beautiful” you clear your throat, and talked about the things you planned on doing tonight. Jaehyun laughed at the sudden change of your mood from being sweet to horny.
“I want to ride him tonight because It’s his birthday. I bought this lingerie - which I cant show you, its for Jaehyun’s eyes only.” He chuckled, smiling so bright beside you but you’re to drunk to notice.
“I want to make him cum so many times tonight because he deserves it. I’ll hold his hand the whole night, letting him know I only belong to him and that I’m thankful for another year with him” you felt his hands intertwine with yours. You didn’t nudge him because you knew it’s Jaehyun, talking made you sober up but you still want to play this little game of his so you continued.
“I know its his birthday but, I’m the one who’s gonna blow something tonight” you winked at him hoping he gets what you’re saying which he does.
“Can you please find him? He promised Jaehyunnie time” you whine, and Jaehyun came closer to you hoping you could recognise him now, its a shame that the night didn’t turned out as you both expected, he thought. But it makes him happy that even though you’re drunk as fuck, he’s still the one you think of out of many things.
“But, Im already here baby” he hugged you tight, nuzzling his nose on your cheeks. Making you giggle and give up because your boyfriend is irresistible.
“I know” you dropped the act, making Jaehyun pull away slightly to look at you.
“When did you get sober?” he’s now kissing your lips that tastes like tequila.
“Few minutes ago, talking helped me sober up” you feel his tongue making its way to your mouth, his hands already slipped inside your shirt you didn’t even noticed. “Give me a few minutes more, baby. I promise you’ll never forget this night”
“Okay, Jung fucking Jaehyun can wait” he teased you biting your neck, hands already all over you.
And the night became even more special than expected.
;)
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#nct-writers#nct#nct smut#nct scenarios#nct fic#nct imagines#jung jaehyun#nct jung jaehyun#nct timestamps
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ok i gotta slow down
i accidentally overmedicated myself with my focalin. not too much, dont worry, im not even prescribed a proper amount for an adult (which is a whole other can of worms i'll get into) and i only took one extra. ive done way more uppers than this, ill be ok i just need to do a little ramble here so i can slow down and vent
i took an extra bc i panicked and just felt overwhelmed by the amount of chores n shit i needed to catch up on from not having meds the past two weeks and living in a literal garbage pile
my psych wont up my dosage because she thinks its illegal?? but like... im on the lowest dosage possible, twice a day, instant release. i've been on it for over a year, and she can absolutely up the dosage. i used to have extended release prescription (god i miss those so much but i couldnt afford $165 a month plus my other meds ugh) and just one was 2 times stronger than the current dosage of my instant releases. so?????? why the fuck
all yall ppl who say "be honest with yr psychs!!!!" hahahahahaahaahaha they lie to me why tf would i be honest to them? especially when in the times i have been "honest" its actively harmed my treatment
like, do yall not understand how hard it is to get medication when your doctor doesnt even believe in the specific illness affecting you??
ive literally been told to "pray the anxiety away". i left that doc after one appointment. but thats just a PRIME example of why being "honest" just dont work here
ive been misdiagnosed and mismedicated all while my doctors just wouldn't listen to what the fuck i was saying and that i was dealing with and wanted to just use the "textbook conditions". and agoraphobia isn't well researched, because, well..... thats pretty much our biggest fear. being observed. being open with strangers. so its not really a "textbook condition".
its a complex issue that is different in every agor because it's usually induced by individual trauma, and its not a "societal/behavioral" illness and therefore not really something to "fix" with just meds. meds absolutely help. but since its not a "behavioral" illness, its not "as urgent of an illness" and i need to focus on my "REAL PROBLEMS" of anxiety and depression
which?????? what the fuck does "behavioral" even MEAN???? agoraphobia absolutely is behavioral, i cant fucking leave my house by myself, and BARELY with trusted people since ive regressed so bad due to covid panic. it effects my daily life and my "real issues" of anxiety and depression are actually fucking SYMPTOMS OF AGORAPHOBIA.
i will give credit where credit is due, but doctors (esp psychs) are NOT magical gods of medical knowledge that people hold them to be. living with a nurse ive learned that doctors are actually pretty fucking dumb and that they're really just "management/public relations" in hospitals. ive had a lot of bad experiences with doctors. so no i do not just trust them and tell them everything, they've probed to me countless times that they're not listening anyway.
and the reason why i put quotes around "honest" is because im not lying to them, but
idk how y'all's psych appointments go, but mine are literally just this conversation
"hi! how are you doing today?"
eh. im surviving haha
"hahaha yeah we all are. any panic attacks?"
ohhhh yeah hahahaha. plenty.
"oh! okay well lets move on, how is your add?"
i cant really focus on anything for more than like an hour but... at least i get that hour?
"well ya gotta just take the time ya got to do what ya need! how about the depression?"
well, i can barely leave my bedroom, which is covered in garbage because i cant go outside to take them to the trash and thats pretty depressing
"hahaha awww, im sorry to hear that. well, im sending your prescriptions to the pharmacy, see ya next month!"
i dont even have an opportunity to be honest. its so fast.
i dont want to have to find a new doctor because ive literally had to fight tooth and nail to find someone who would prescribe me anything that can actually HELP me, aka my vallium, which is a hell of a lot more difficult to get than any other fucking benzo for some reason???? the only others ive been prescribed was xanx, kpins. xanx is nice but its too temporary. its for when you're having an anxiety attack, not for general anxiety like valium is. and kpins?? mannnnnn FUCK KLONOPIN THAT SHIT DID NOTHIN.
idk i guess rant over for now thanks for not reading this long dumb post where i cry about not being properly medicated and being actively neglected & abused by doctors who literally don't believe in agoraphobia & refuse to acknowledge its existence or the consequences it has on both my mental state and my physical state.
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hey can I get a ship with on my block, to all the boys I've loved before and marvel?? I'm a spanish girl, brunette with short hair, my eyes are brown and im a curvy girl, I'm really insecure about my self and I'm im really funny and protective with the people I love,I love cuddles, kisses and all that things, I dance, I'm really good at makeup and I love music. I really dont have a type? like I just want a person who loves me for what I am because I'm not perfect. Thank you so much 💜
hola fellow latina! you sound like a true romantic.
wanna get shipped with someone ask here you can ask as many characters as you want
click here for fandoms list
I ship you with:
ON MY BLOCK - CESAR DIAZ
first of all hispanic ugh hello youd fit right in the group sis. cesar would see you a notice how timid you are and super chill and thats different from his CRAZY STRESSFUL CRAZY OF A BROTHER i mean stressful gang life and when he gets to know you he loves how its so easy to talk to you. you are so smart and you dont care about the material things of this world, all you care about are your friends safety and that shows a lot to cesar. when he sees how protective you are of your friends he smiles and thinks thats super attractive because what he was taught from spooky is when you make your own gang your own group you do anything to protect them and keep them safe. he cant see how your insecure because he thinks youre beautiful inside and out honey yasss own that lol sorryimtoomuchillbequiet. he tries to prove your beauty all the time and show you how special you are to him and when he like almost dying on the streets he went to you for comfort but he tried not to worry you cause he know you are super protective of him. loves cuddling with you and when you cuddle with him its like he won the lottery. omg sis you love dancing are you sure you love dancing cause you know with us hispanics thats pretty much meant you have opened yourself to a new cult im just sayin. when your friends and cesar realize sh*t this girl can dance heck they pretty much make you the spot light at olivia’s quinceanera. and jasmine kinda gets crazy with you which cesar always apologizes for cause lets be honest jasmine cray cray but we love her so much she is like the best person. and at the valentines day dance cesar loves to get *cough* super sexual with his dances so its sensual and romantic. and also cesar likes that you are imperfect cuz he da*n well aint perfect either but cesar doesnt want that he just wants his girl by his side and love on her. also with the makeup you always whether in the store or buying products new you always try it first on cesar, he looks very beautiful. but even at home you did a makeup look on him and cesar then did you lets just say you looked a little like un chola had sex with a kardashian and it did not look good.
TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE - PETER KAVINSKY
my man is about that party life style and being super popular it hurts my homeschool heart. but you show no really interest in the cool kid you legit are minding your own business and that kinda shocks peter cuz everybody wants to know him get his phone number everything but you are so different from the other girls. he likes how you have your own style. in this time in highschool kids are bullies and are hurting other kids and he sees you are kind to everyone around you and will stand up to bullies when they are hurting your friends. he knows some of his friends are fake and are just with him cuz hes popular so you make him rethink this whole friend thing. he takes you on so many dance dates cuz he loves to watch you move. like during a boardwalk date if there is music playing there he loves that you wring him over and dance with him like the feeling of having your presence and you in his arm makes him melt. you love kisses well so does this light pole! he gives you forehead kisses, cheek kisses, lips kisses, every where kisses and in public because he wants you to see that you mean so much to him. he kinda crazy tho cuz if you start with how your insecure peter will legit scream on the top of his lungs any where dont matter if its school or a restaurant he will scream how much he loves you and tell everyone that you are his girl. peter is always taking you out to buy makeup he thinks youre the best at it so he takes you to all the shops and you can buy whatever.
MARVEL - PETER MAXIMOFF
another peter i love this boy too much like fam fam fam look at my boi! ok peter is like a child that ate 2,000 churros and skittles at the same time he is like a boi on a sugar rush and you go with the flow of things but he on another level that no one can achieve. he talks super fast with you because hes nervous and hes peter. loves to play pac man oh im sorry MS. pac man but why is it called man idk i DONT MAKE THE RULES. anywho when you are playing that game he likes to go behind you and kiss behind your ear your neck a top your head and just have his hands all over you rubbing on you. one day as a prank peter legit makes it look like he messed with your makeup and he has a stupid dopey smile on his face. you wanna beat his a*s but then he shows it was a prank. loves to show off that hes an x men and that he works with frickin hank and professor x like he thinks he a million bucks. you love to dance but not with him he dances sometimes too fast but when he is serious and romantic peter will take things slow even though he wants to carve his heart out and make it run a 3,000k run. he runs to the store for you to buy you whatever you want makeup food music he just loves to see your smile. he cant see why your insecure because he finds you so precious and gorgeous that when you talk like that he usually does something super extra why oh why did god grant you these powers peter. peter runs really fast on the street cement so fast to the point where there are like tire marks and it says that he loves you forever and ever and so the whole world can see it. he also does this thing like when hes in trouble he will run past you nonnie super fast and in circles so you dont catch him. peter loves to cuddle with you and he is very protective over you and whenever youre in trouble or hurt he will come to the rescue first cuz you are the love of his life but then cuz he is an x-men and he will make sure you laugh and are always happy with him and he will always protect you and keep you safe.
#ask#anonymous#ask game#ship#ship game#i ship you with...#game#on my block#cesar diaz x reader#cesar diaz imagine#to all the boys i've loved before#peter kavinsky x reader#peter kavinsky imagine#marvel#x-men#peter maximoff x reader#peter maximoff imagine
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heir!svt // boo seungkwan
♥ fluffy!
♥ 3k words
this cutie full of sass and just overflowing love is the heir to his mother’s infamous jeju tangerine company
yeah people might think, oh thats nothing
but hoo boi they’re the no. 1 selling jeju tangerines in korea
because they’re so sweet just like the boo family :O
and sometimes they even import their goods worldwide, ITS THAT GOOD
back to our boo
he may seem pretty eccentric, especially when he’s around seokmin or soonyoung, but he’s also a sweetheart who takes care of his juniors and friends
like he will always remind them of their worth and sometimes get really clingy
but of course his sassy side is one of the many reasons that people love him too!!
they find it funny whenever he goes on a savage strike and literally drag anYone
like he doesnt care who your parents are, he will drag you down to hell
but everyone knows he doesnt mean it half the time, but when he actually does, it will bring shivers down your spine
since his well-loved among the students, he’s literally friends with everyone
especially the younger ones because he like to feel like an older brother and feels proud when his juniors look up to him
this is so soft fk
but he also has his moments where he wants to be taken care of too so he simply just joins his closest group of friends aka the big bunch of thirteen boys
people wonder how the heck they seem so close when all of them could form a class
anyWays, onto you
so theres two groups of people when it comes to seungkwan
1) you’re friends with him or 2) youre not
lucky you, you drop in the first category because if you dont, you’re just a sad outcast who doesnt like the cutest squishy boy
but even if you were friends with him, you werent as close to the extent where you guys hang out often
its the little greetings you guys say to each other in the hallways that keeps this acquaintance going
and its not like youre scared of him or anything
in fact its a little bit more than that
you’ve always admired him for being such a positive light in Pledis High along with his friends
and he’s someone that you aspire to be like - to be fearless and firm in yourself as well as be a pillar of strength for everyone else around
but you’re just that shy student who stammers during presentations because being in the center of attention scares the living heck out of you
he’s practically your aspiration
and its pretty difficult to get close to someone who has 46389392 other people to choose from to hang out with
but thats just you overthinking it because seungkwan has been wondering if he should just ask you to join him for lunch
on the other hand, seungkwan sees you as someone who works diligently behind the scenes
yeah sure you might not be able to lead people in a group project or voice out your opinions
but you do research like a mad scientist and quietly lead the group to an A for a project by leaving notes for improvement in their files
hell yeah he sees you, he sees potential in everyone
but its also because he thinks you’re pretty cute when you get so into the textbook that you’re literally inches away from kissing the pages
but he threatened vernon not to tell you that because he cant just mAke A MoVe
he wants to get to know you more first, about your favourite colour or what you think about when you daydream in class or how your brain manages to store so much information about general facts
most of the random facts you remember is from snapple bottles but no one needs to know that
so yeah maybe boo seungkwan is a little bit Whipped™ for you h a h a a little bit???
like every other day when seungkwan passes by your class, he sees you in your seat scribbling on your notes with furrowed eyebrows and your bottom lip between your teeth
and you just tugged on his heartstrings because how can someone look this good while doing something so,,, normal
and vernon has to snap him out of it
“dUde you’re really not making this crush thing any less subtle,”
and seungkwan nearly wants to hold him in a chokehold and make him regret his words
but when he takes another glance at you, you’re staring back and he’s quickly covering up his slightly blushed cheeks with a little wave
while you shot a shy smile towards him and waved back
and that simple action of yours just saved vernon from being suffocated
which also makes seungkwan say fuck it and ask you to join him for lunch or a study session after school that day
he wasn’t able to catch you at lunch that day, probably because you felt more comfortable in the quiet and cool library of the school
so when he sees you preparing your things to leave the school, he jogs right after you and nearly slams himself into your locker door
“hi! yn right?” he asks you, as if he’s never repeated your name in his mind every time he sees you
“y-yeah, what’s up?” you inquired back, zipping up your backpack and closing the locker door shut
“i was thinking, if you had the time, if you could join me on a study session today,”
and as much as you want to confirm his words, the way he looks at you with the hopeful sparkle in his eyes confirmed itself
boo seungkwan was asking you to hang out, and he chose you out of everyone else
“oh,, im free but i have a curfew so i hope you dont mind if we dont stay out too long,” you mustered every ounce of courage you had as you slung your bag over your shoulder
“great!! i know just the right place for us to study at,” he smiles, taking the spot next to you as he guide the both of you out of school
throughout the walk to the study spot seungkwan had planned, he had been talking about the stories about his friends and the way they have been annoyingly him lately - but of course they did it out of affection
“they say i pout alot when i get angry but i dont pout that much >:((”
and as he whined about the statement, his lips indeed formed into a big sad pout just as his friends had said
as you tried to hold back the giggle, that is until he brows began going up and down in frustration like a rollercoaster
and that was the trigger
you burst out laughing, covering your mouth even though it was too late to cover up
while he looked back at you with a confused look - although his chest felt entirely different
the way your eyes turned into crescent moons when you smiled really wide as well as the way your voice sounded harmonious to him
“i’m so sorry,, it’s just that,, your friends are totally right. look at you!!” you attempted to catch your breath while you held your phone to him, the front camera had indeed showed him the pouty face his friends had mentoned
“even you too??? but its not that bad right?” seungkwan looks back at you with pitiful puppy eyes and a part of you melts at the adorable sight
“no its not bad!! its actually pretty cute,” you reassured him, still recovering from your laughing fit
cute?? did you just call boo seungkwan cute??
he’s smile starts to radiate and his cheeks turn bright red from being flustered
but you were too busy chuckling at the accidental selfie he had taken on your phone
before he could even mention the compliment, the both of you had reached the cafe, swinging the door gently as you entered first while he followed behind you
you guys grabbed a spot by the corner, it being one of the best place, as recommended by seungkwan himself
“i’ll order the drinks and you can start studying first,” he shoots you a kind smile before sliding out from his chair
“oh yeah, what would you like?” he inquired, quickly giving him your normal order before he went to the counter
the place was beyond amazing and you werent sure how you havent seen it before when the shop had been placed near the school
the calm and soothing ambient given by the soft jazz playing in the speakers and the bright light illuminating the place was not glaring either
as you began flipping through your notes and your textbooks, seungkwan arrives with a tray of your drinks as well as slice of cake on a plate
“we didn’t order cake but the owner of the shop gave it to us on the house. maybe its because i’ve become a regular,” he chuckled, rubbing the nape of his neck after he had placed the tray to the side
“really?? ah we should thank them,” you turned towards the cashier where a man with circular glasses had a smile plastered on his face
and is that a,,, thumbs up?? did he just mouthed ‘good luck’?
“i think he wished us good luck for our exams since exam season is coming up,” but when you turn back to face seungkwan, he has his hand motioning back and forth across his neck, mouthing something along the lines of “shh”
“you actually know him?” you inquired, catching his attention as he nearly cracked his neck from turning too fast
“o-oh yeah sure! i come here pretty often remember? besides, we should really start studying before its too late,” he laughed nervously, slipping back into his seat and fetching out his required materials
and hour pasts and the pain in your neck starts to grow from facing your textbook from a weird angle, making you stretch in your seat while it captures his attention
“10 minute break?” he asks with a knowing smile as you nodded a little too enthusiastically, immediately regretting your decision while you held your drink in your hands, taking a few sips every so often
“did you get a lot done? i barely got the english practice questions done,” he sighed, taking a sip from his own cup
“yeah i guess. i managed to finish my english assignment too so i can help you if you want!”
“reALLy?? ugh you’re a life savior yn. but enough of studies for now, LETS DIG IN,” he excitedly exclaims, placing the sliced cake between the both of you and handing a dainty small fork that matched his
your eyes sparkled in delight when you tasted the light whip cream along with the soft and spongy cake, eliciting giggles from seungkwan as your shoulders danced in elation
“you’re too adorable,” seungkwan complimented you on instinct
and its only when you look at him with wide eyes that he realized his action
“a-ah am i too straightforward?? i’ll stop if its uncomfortable,”
but that compliment had brought a shy smile to your face, tinting the edges of your ears while you shook your head
you were slightly confused then - was your heart racing because you were with someone you admired, or was it because you began to see him in a different light
in a span of a few hours, seungkwan was more than you had assumed and you really meant that he was more than just an embodiment of positivity and sassiness
you werent sure what words you would exactly use to describe him now that you knew him a little more
but it was definitely not in a way where you saw him as an aspiration any longer
and more on seeing that smile on his face
“yn? yN? are you really sure its ok?” and that cute pout is on his face once again
“y-yeAH its totally fine!! we better finish this cake quick, my curfew is in another hour,” you smiled apologetically before taking another bite
“it’s alright, we can study together again if you want to,”
and minutes just as fast as the time the both of you had spent together
in a split second, you had arrived at your door - although with many times you had reassured him you would be able to walk home alone, seungkwan wouldnt budge an inch
“i guess i’ll see you at school tomorrow?” he questioned, a small shy smile on his face
and as the both of you waved goodbye and went your separate ways, neither of you could wipe the wide smiles on your faces
days turn into months and a year felt like it had passed in a blink of an eye
so many things had happened during that period of time
without a doubt, you had become one of his closest friends (but others think otherwise when they see you two linking pinkies in the hallways)
and as we all know, all 13 boys came as a package, so it was only a matter of time until you met all 13 of them
it was a chaotic meeting, having to meet all of them at once made remembering names wayy more difficult
but after a while of getting to know them, you had grown accustomed to their personalities
like that one time that the noticeboard fell off the wall for some reason and you immediately thought of mingyu
you turn around and mingyu is standing right beside that noticeboard, with his entire body frozen into place
or like that one time seungkwan was telling about a prank that happened to him and asked if jeonghan was in charge of it and he just goes yEAH AND I GOT MY HAIR DYED BLUE FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK
and seungkwan was relieved that his friends had accepted you as a person
because they can get pretty protective of each other #squadgoAls
but also because he wouldnt know what to do if they didnt like you when his crush on you is mAssive
it has grown to the point where he’s so close to confessing, but he never knows the right time to do so
on the other hand, you had begun to see him more than just a friend
the way he looked so worried when you had a little papercut on your finger
or when he stopped the other boys from teasing you because he feels this weird sense of anger boiling in the pit of his stomach
its called jealousy but boy has a little bit of a problem seeing it as it is
and anytime seungkwan initiates skinship with you, you feel your body heat up but its not to the point where you feel its overwhelming??
its more like this comfortable warmth that you can never get enough of
the kind of feeling you dont get with anyone else
and that was the moment you had finally accepted the fact that it had grown into a full-fledged Crush
either of you is still oblivious to each others feelings but its wayy to obvious to everyone else that theres something else brewing than ‘just friends’
but your thoughts and doubts get the best of you
because what if seungkwan is just this nice to everyone else?? i mean he did help out most of his juniors with their homework
and its normal seeing him hold hands and hug his other friends
and it kind of has your hopes lowered but it didnt hurt having a harmless crush right??
they come and go anyway
but seungkwan’s crush on you hasnt gone ever since his heart raced at the sight of you with the widest smiles
and he wasn’t planning to ignore it either
as per normal, the both of you walked into the cafe the both of you now frequented together, ordering the same drink but a different kind of cake to try every week
its come to the point where you guys have nearly tried every pastry there was in the cafe
but this time, seungkwan doesnt take out his notes or his pencil case with the matching tangerine keychain which you had gotten for him as a gift while your similar keychain hung on your bag
“what’s wrong?? no assignments this week?” you questioned, debating if you should finish yours alone
“well,,, not quite actually. but i felt like we needed a little break from studying since exams are over,” his eyes remain glued to the cup of iced americano in front of him
which was weird since he would usually shoot you that warm smile you’ve grown to love so much
“is there anything wrong?” you had held onto his arm instinctively, thinking that maybe he just needed a little push to tell you whats on his mind
“i dont want to scare you or anything, so you dont need to answer back if you dont want to,” he rubbed the nape of his neck, playing nervously with the end of his hair
you nod along for him to continue, letting your hand linger on his while his eyes glanced towards the skin contact
“do you,, see me as anything more than a friend- you really dont have to answer it if it makes you feel-”
“yeah, is there something wrong with it?” you answered with a tiny bit of confidence
meanwhile your feet was bouncing under the table and your cheeks had already turned as bright as the red velvet cupcake between the both of you
and you answer shuts him up quickly
and it had been the first time he had looked back into your eyes ever since the both of you had stepped into the cafe
and they still look as sparkling as ever, if not, even more than you have ever seen them
his lips slowly curled into a bashful grin, accompanying his flushed red cheeks
“then i guess its appropriate to ask if,, if you’d be my,,,lover?” the term rolling off his tongue sends shivers down his spine
but when you bring his hand towards your lips, placing a quick peck, he nearly explodes and shortcircuits
“how could i ever say no?”
a/n: im so soft for seungkwan??? like i would squish his cheeks all day if i could o k also as per usual i’ll proofread this tomorrow morning because i can never get as inspired when it isnt 3 in the morning oops
#kpop#imagine#scenario#writing#fanfic#fanfiction#x reader#reader#reader insert#svt#seventeen#pledis#17#boo seungkwan#seungkwan#vocal unit#vu#heir au#au
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my chiaroscuro annotations
pt 1- chiaroscuro
broke, like really fucking broke" me too bestie 🤠
charlotte that's so rude of you how dare you be in love 🙄
live in position?? bestie that's really sus
omg the ad was def written by niall 😭
I WAS RIIIIIGHT HELLO MY IRISH KING
that was fast
again I say that's kind of sus 🤠
"Niall sounded so nice, she couldn't imagine any problems she could have working for him." bestie don't u know you're in a fanfic
she went ALONE i- bestie you're just asking to get murdered at this point
living alone absolutely nottttt that place is definitely haunted 😭😭
if he usually prefers his housekeepers to be out when he's home then why does he want a live in maid 🤠🤠 I don't trust this "mr styles" guy idk 🤨
did she bump into harold????
omg is this lhh?????
oh nvm the eyes are grey
OH TEA NIALL HAS GREY EYES NOW TOO SO MAYBE IT WAS HAROLD
"nothing's that perfect without a catch" exactly bestie why are you just going along with this 🤠🤠🤠🤠
awwww he's helping her move in what a gentleman
ugh her room is so prettyyyyyy I want to live there
"get familiar with the house" u mean all the ghosts in the house bc that place is definitely haunted af 🤠
exploring with headphones in??? bestie how will you know if a ghost comes up behind you 🤠
thaaaaaaat's creepy the paintings don't have eyes no thank u 🤠🤠🤠
"the almost seemed vampiric" bestie u won't believe this
4 KITCHENS OMG
tag urself I'm the random stalk of celery alone on the top shelf
y/n is living the dark academia life of my dreams rn
oh tea there's something outside
I'm sorry but what the fuck is that 🤠🤠🤠
bestie I think u should leave bc this does not have good vibes 🤠
TEN en suite bathrooms wtf eat the rich
rude niall where is she supposed to go
AHHHHHHH ITS HARRY IVE MISSED YOU BESTIE
um no thank you he went through her stuff??????
HE TOOK HER SWEATER OK HES LIKE A STALKER
I'm not getting good vibes from this 🤠
bestie it's fine he's probably just on his period :)
oooooooo but you can't tell niall bc he's probably a vamp too and then he'll have to kill you 🤠
yea sure red paint 🙄🙄🙄
thank you, niall 🙂
OMGGGGGG BESTIE U SHOULD PROBS LEAVE
hmmm any expenses for the house ??? bestie u could have fun with this 😌
is that mitch and Sarah then???
BESTIE NO WHY WOULD YOU WALK AROUND IN THE DARK ALONE AT NIGHT I SWEAR ITS LIKE YOU WANT TO DIE
come on bestie you fell over??? this is not the time for clumsiness!!!! but same i probably would have too lmaoooooo
alright babe there's no need to yell at her that's just rude🙄🙄
kick him in the balls bestie he's being so mean
bestie i told you the house was haunted and you didn't listen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
omg he talks like a victorian stable boy 😭😭😭😭
she wants to keep the note bc she's already in love with him 😌
I'm confused bc didn't he say he left 🤠
"I've already see you more than i intended" ok rude ?????
ooooooo he's going to have a midnight snack 😋🩸
"what's the worst that could happen" idk bestie you could get murdered
aaaaaand now she dropped the cup 🤠 again bestie do you want to die??????????? come on now
OH NO OH NO HES GOING TO ATTACK HER BC SHES BLEEDING
BITE HIM AND RUN
yeah magnus what the fuck do you think you're doing
awwww harry's protective he's already in love 🥺
oop she said "gotta go" and passed out
same bestie
AHHHHHH THAT WAS SO GOOD!!!! I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM AND I CANT BELIEVE I HADN'T READ THIS ONE YET!!! IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AND I WILL KEEP MAKING ANNOTATIONS!!!!!!!!
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Ride Along 1.2
“We have just over 3 hours left till we reach Michigan.” Kylie sighed heavily from the driver seat. Her co pilot Neville was passed out in the passenger seat head resting on the window. “I know dude but seriously we can’t stop, Smackdown is tomorrow night and I would really like to sleep in a bed before we have to wrestle again.” Heather’s voice was low from the behind Kylie. She was running her fingers through short red hair as Sami snoozed on her lap. The quadruplet had rotated driving shifts as they travelled from St. Louis to Michigan for Smackdown. Delayed from flying because of the snow, they were almost to their destination and the girls didn’t know if they were sad because they were exhausted, or if because the trip would be over. “What did the hotel service say again?” Kylie looked at heather in the rearview mirror, “well I called to confirm the reservation but because of the weather they are combining rooms, your room is reserved but I think they bumped mine and Neville’s reservations because we were so late.” “Ah well you can sleep on the floor then.” Kylie smirked to the steering wheel. “UH no thanks I will sleep in the car before I let you NOT share a room with the man in the seat next to you.” Dyna whispered to Distortia as both girls giggled. “Man whatever, I doubt the Coffee hero back there will let you sleep in the car, or on the floor, or alone ever again for that matter.” Giggling broke out again. “DUDE they are recording this.” The girls tried to muffle their laughter. They kept forgetting this would all be on the show. “Well, whatever. We will figure it out when we get there.” Heather sat back in her seat and closed her eyes. “You good for another hour?” She asked Kylie. “Yeah rest because Sami is driving next and the last two hours will take 4 if you aren’t keeping his ass on track.” Kylie thought about the show, what footage would they use? She had to chuckle at herself reflecting back on the trip so far. There was no doubt about all the flirting, including the really juvenile game of truth or dare.
Soon soft snoring from the backseat signalled that both Heather and Sami were out. Kylie was flipping through radio stations looking for music when Neville yawned and stretched in his seat. “Oh snap you’re up.” “Ware are we?” “Just outside of Lancing Michigan, why?” “Curious, we have what another 2 hours or so?” his thick welsh accent making his words hard to understand was a stark contrast to Kylie’s American one. “Yes.” “Just so y’kno im on to yous and heather’s grand scheme.” Kylie looked at Neville nervously, who wasn’t looking at anything but the back of his eyelids. “What?” “Aw yea jumping in our ride along so she and sami can get chummy.” Neville giggled a little. “They might quite the pair.” He said before turning to glance at them both snoozing in the back. “Oh uh I have no idea what you’re talking about but sure.” Kylie’s grin was a dead give away. “Truth is he is smitten with her and always has been. The minute she became single he was vying for her eye.” “Well then we did a good thing huh? matchmaking should be added to our resume of talent. You do remember this is being recorded.” Kylie looked at the camera planted on the dash board. Neville bursted out laughing before he could control himself, “Aw piss he is going to scald me for that one.” Things settled down for a minute when Neville spoke up again, still leaning against his window, eyes closed. “Truf is, I wanted it too.” “What?” Kylie looked at him and back at the road. “Oh I wasn’t sure about something, but I figured if you tagged along for this you’d be down to ride with me again. Jus me.” Neville was looking at her now. “Well duh. Pffft” He was making her nervous, not that that was new. “Yea we work pretty well together, and I’m glad we’ve become close friends.” Kylie stared hard at the road ahead of her. “Yep.” The sexual tension was the highest it had ever been between Distortia and Neville ever since she was mercilessly attacked from behind on 205 live. She was Neville’s puppet ringside, the king of the cruiserweights had his very own Harley Quinn and the pair was absolutely magic together. Rich Swann, in trying to catch Neville, ran over Distortia, causing Neville to lose his mind and take Swann out. He carried Distortia from the ring and as the trainers looked her over, he swore an oath in welsh to avenge her attack. His brown eyes were glowing as he looked at her, his intensity and wrath flowed through the room and camera like an arctic wind from the North Pole. Kylie had never been so turned on in her life. Fast forward a few weeks to ride along and even though it was snowing all around them in michigan, Kylie could feel herself starting to sweat under Adrian’s gaze. “Cept it won’t last much longer, Thank God.” Neville muttered turning his eyes to the window. “Huh?” kylie still stared at the road, “Well if you think I am sharing a room in detroit with these two love birds, you’re mad.” Neville jammed his thumb to the back seat where Heather and Sami were still passed out. “Also I can assure you, neither of us will be sleeping...or stirring on the floor either. Too much back and forth for all that daftness.” Kylie glanced at the English brute as he sat back in his seat, pulling his beanie over his eyes and crossing his arms. “No need to be fraid either love, I’ll be as gentle as I can with you as long as you do as you’re told.” Neville finished with a smirk. Kylie swallowed hard. She knew she was in for a ride when they got to Detroit. “Ye I hope that makes the cut for the show as well, lord knows the whole wwe universe will love it.” Smirking still Neville grabbed Kylie’s hand and laid back in his seat.
As they unloaded the SUV at the hotel , Sami caught Heather grabbing her by the arm whispering "Hey would you mind not sharing a room with Kylie today? I was hoping Neville and her could...uh well get cozy.” He made this smashing movement with his hands cupped. Heather had to smile, he was adorable. The snow was coming down softly for now but it was supposed to stick. “Sure I had that thought, but reservations are tight as it is so if there aren’t any more rooms, I guess I can walk down a few blocks and see about another hotel.” “No no no Sami threw his hands up, My reservation is confirmed, you can stay with me.” “uh with you?” Heather stuttered. “Well its a double bed, so yeah I just wanted Neville to think it wasn’t reserved so Kylie would offer and bada bing bada boom they’d get it on.” Sami clapped his hands for extra feeling, Heather giggled. “Ok ok sami no worries.” “yeah but how do we get them UP there without us having to go UP there too.” His brown eyes searched her face for answers. “Listen leave that to me, ok? just follow my lead.” She smoothed Sami’s jacket lapel and softly patted his chest. He grabbed one of her hands and kissed the back of it “Oh I would follow you anywhere.”
“Ok OK well I’ll take the room, until we get someone down here to do my laundry service. IT must be done in a few hours and professionally. This is the gear I need for tonight.” “I will sleep on the floor.” “Sami I promise it’s not necessary, its got two double beds.” Heather was a little disappointed about that tidbit but beggars cant be choosers, every hotel for blocks was full because of the weather delay and they had smackdown in 8 hours. She needed 5 of those to sleep, and shower and eat and she was tired of fighting with the desk clerk, trying NOT to be heard by Kylie or Neville who were waiting to see what would become of their friends. “Hey they are calling around to see about a laundry service, y'all go ahead and we will be up there in a second.” Heather had thrown a fit about having her gear cleaned before smackdown. It was clean but it was just the distraction they needed to get Kylie and Neville off their backs. She knew Kylie wouldn’t have to be told twice, but if her and sami really didn’t have a room she knew Kylie wouldn’t hesitate to offer hers. She was in the suite after all. Perks of being the smackdown number one contender, and a master suite gold card holder. Heather held her breath until the elevators closed on Kylie and Neville, “phew omg ok I am so sorry, I don’t need a laundry service.” Sami’s jaw hit the counter. “Mam, I promise...” “NO No...I promise my gear is fine. Thank you so much for putting up with my show. I just needed those two to get to their room.” The check in clerk looked exasperated but relieved as she handed over the room key. Heather pulled a 50.00 bill out of her wallet and folded it into a small sliver, made a makeshift envelope out of a hotel notepad paper and slipped it under the clerks keyboard. She grabbed her purse and suitcase and motioned Sami to follow her. She felt bad because she was a raging bitch but she knew Kylie would make a bee line out of there. “Omg you made all that up?” He said. “You said we had to have a distraction, I threw on my diva cap, what else. Kylie hates it when I act like that....I will hear a lecture from her later.” Heather rolled her eyes as she watched the elevator light blink it way down to the lobby. Sami was still staring at her, wide eyed. “That means you’ve been a diva before?” “ Listen if I am exhausted, like I am on the verge of being right now, or hungry, all bets are off. My southern charm and manners go right out that window and I can be a real bitch.” Heather calmly stared at Sami’s reflection in the elevator doors as he stared at the floor on the ride up. Double beds, ugh well at least Kylie will get laid Heather thought to herself. “You must be really exhausted.” Sami’s tone was quiet as they walked to their room. “Travelling by car always seems so much more exhausting and I drove 6 hours of that 8 hour trip. I am tired, I am human you know?” Heather opened their room and set her stuff inside by the window. Sitting on her bed, she watched Sami throw himself back on his bed, “Do you want to shower first?” she asked him. Sami stared at the ceiling for a minute, “There are so many things I’d rather be doing.” His reply jerked Heather around.
#bitchmint#adrian neville#wwe fan fic#wrestling#fluffy#cute writing#ride along#flirting#sami zayn#dyna#distortia
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thoughts on ice skating
supposed to be under read more, sorry if mobile is weird!
i mean ive missed multiple weeks and alll in all the society/ practice is quite weird like the beginners teacher dude keeps rambling off about like olympics skating or how higher levels have this and this move and look ive taught that advanced kid over there and heres how they do that technique rather than concretely helping us develop those basic skills that were apparently flawed at. like how do i do that correction youre just showing me bc clearly im about to fall over bc idk how to do it. and i tried being all professional and interested and make the most of it for myself, but cant help the frustration when it goes out of the easy shit into the stupid spins because apparently i just cant do it. be it my skates are too thin or too sharp blades or my ankle is not strong enough or enough support thats why its going bad? idk even but i cant spin. cant do it. idk i kinda know multiple things that are fucking up and its frustrating and annoying and its just not gonna work yknow i can kinda turn 180. no i cant do the multiple spin spin spin that seems so easy. is it my skates or is it my inadequacy? im not getting new skates tho, im only here because i have my own skates a while back, im clearly so shit that im not even gonna be a milkly good figure skater im not gonna get in on that. i might as well do fuckin ballet rather than this. im actually looking into that kinda now id love to try.
ice skating is dumb in the way that ive done it since im a child but never as a hobby, like ive done it with most the time my own owned skates since like 3-4 yrs old like young. but school only ever teaches forwards and basic backwards (apparently its cheating backwards) and basic stop and turns and idk things you learn somewhat naturally and my coolest tricks always been sausages (or bubbles as they call them here) and those are apparently baby level beginner stuff and im just :| yeah i can do those tho. and now ic an do them backwards which is kinda cool, and im more confident one foor skating/gliding. but like never as a hobby so i guess none of that matters, i did try to do intermediate and could keep up to an extent but i guess my basics are so shoddy i wasnt doing well enough for my own standards, and even now looking over tho the teacher is better and more encouraging, everyone seems to be doing crazy tricks and jumps and spins and one leg up fancy shit and im just... ya. guess i cant be over there. cant do it. lemme just stand with mr blabber mouth. it is frustrating bc yeah maybe i wanna be that intermediate level, maybe i wanna go skate with my family/old friends and show off bc look i can do like 3 4 cool things im almost a real skater. but fuck i guess my skates are limiting me and i should try use the rental skates? that are dull af but have better support? idk, ive got blisters from them the last i used them and i dont particularly wanna use shitty skates. but i dunno even what to do, i dont particularly wanna drop on some fancy skates just to find smths wrong again and im shit and cant do it. maybe id suddenly improve and feel a lot better about myself and take it as a proper hobby but realistically nah. im actually kinda frustrated i dont even know if i wanna continue. yes i have a friend that goes, yes i have skates and you only get better by spending time on ice and id like to be better bc only recently ive realised how shit i am, (trust me its confidence boosting to have skated with bambis on ice who are afraid of moving at all and then i can at least go kinda fast if i want) but i cant even turn properly, cant stop properly neither. its just ugh, i dont think im getting as much out of it as i should be, i dont know if its the teachers fault, my skates fault, or my own personality/inability.
no im not doing the dumb kinda competition theyre organising in a few weeks. the criteria for intermediate (that i havent participated in enough anyway recently) is fuckin hops and drags (my skates do not drag! to sharp? idk) and spins and fancy shit i havent even ever tried to. yeah sure i could for the fucks of it do the beginners bc its uh, bubbles forward and backwards that i can do, and i can kind of do the chassee thing kind of. but i cant do a god damn spin for the life of me apparently so i might as well save my 5 pound and ‘pride’. ugh. besides the fun part was that he was talking abt the higher levels leg up glide thing, and had us do it against the wall bc ‘afraid well just face plant’ and i guess i can bring my leg up decently high when supported by the wall which is fun, and otherwise im not the worst of the 5 beginners that showed up. but yeah im just frustrated with it over all. dunno how long the clubs even gonna continue for, theres only one friend there that i would continue for which isnt great considering means i dont consider the others easy to make friends with or ones i could be fond of enough to over look the struggle of the hobby.
i think my plan was to call my dad not only to ask if they had a preference for when my friend would fly down to visit so she could buy her tickets, but i guess also i was going to say about the skate apparently being too soft and too thin/too sharp and express this frustration that i still cant do shit, that maybe even using unsharpened (and uncomfortable) rental skates could be better for skating and just wonder what im even doing abt this all. clearly not competing but idk even if we could just come to observe/skate for fun during the competition etc or if i should just skip to catch up/pack and clean idk. also im kinda annoyed at myself otherwise bc i just tuesday saw with J and shes off for a few weeks and i made such a good verbal plan saying id do an email and a summary im weeeeeks behind on on tuesday evening and prep for class today (didnt prep but it went okay anyway) and today i would have gone to class and to skating with a healthy meal (check check check) and come home to sign up and send the other email thats been bugging me, and then do my report due midnight i havent even started on. said id work after midnight if it was taking so long so id have it done..... i had a nap instead. not even a god damn shower i was planning to have tuesday and now its 3 am on thursday. ayy. sure i could skip classes tomorrow to shower and clean my room and maybe complete a task before i drag myself to an archery arrow lesson and badminton after (no thatll be fun, but ill be back rly late) but ive skipped so many classes and i wana see and be with my friends i might as well go, and if i get abandoned work on work somewhere in between classes and maybe actually get something done? gasp. shock. and still get home and do smth like clean and do dishes to be productive while anticipating fun thing, do it and come home and actually sleep bc im fuckin that over eh. but fuck. its not just that i have 1 overdue summary from two weeks ago, i have another summary due thursday night. maybe, in between classes i could do both, miraculous i guess yes but would be cool. do two summaries, send off both and an apology email for the other, take the spare chance to book myself another experiment if theyre still running and if not send an apology email bc i missed one in class one and ask what now. and then maybe even since the calendar is out get my 3 planned viewings booked so that i can see them b4 going back home and dont get fucked. maybe even add the corrections i got yesterday to my other report. wow wouldnt that be great. i could do them now but i should get to sleep right now heres hoping ill remember the corrections then. and then id need to look at the video for the assignment that was due yesterday and bring up the files and find the debrief and begin filling it in and maybe email researcher if i need to, and do the easy part. so that maybe logical me in a clean room will fill in the ethics part between classes on friday or after class or gasp on saturday bc im not going to st andrews after all... its a lot.. i hate that two days are wasted already. ugh. uGH. well get by. lets just try stay positive, now im going to sleep and wake up to go to my 11 class prepared to do some easy work between classes. yes yes. its probably weird that who ever has read this far has read all this shit and maybe i should just keep my shit personal and not post on my main blog bc surprisingly its open to anyone who just slightly would wanna see it,and though you likely dont know me in person its a bit weird huh idk. maybe this is here so my cousin can read it if she happens to , maybe its so that you can read it and be like ya i do that and i think like that too pretty cool im not alone, maybe its for me to read back and not have to be exposed to my worst ugly vents on my plain vent blog and can remain positive thomaybe not. its under read more anyway. lets try bury it guys.
#and other things#really dont need to read this#though im aware and sorry i guess read more doesnt work on mobile and you might just read this in curiosity and i dont necessarily want#these are just my own thoughts and theyre here to clarify my head. ok
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