#twillight fanfiction
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A Chaotic Start (Jacob Black x Female!Reader)
A/N: So this was a request from @/JulzLovDraco4Eva on wattpad! I loved writing it but sorry for the wait I had some things to do lol. Hope this is what you wanted!
Warnings: Being hurt, blood, angst but a lot of fluff as well.
Word Count: 1678
I had known Jacob Black for as long as I could remember. Growing up in Forks, we were part of the same community. I had always known about the Quileute legends and was aware that Jacob was a werewolf. I had also known about the existence of vampires since I was a child, thanks to my parents' fascination with the supernatural. However, I never expected to be caught up in their world until I met Jacob.
Jacob was really protective around me from the moment we met. He would get all defensive if I was anywhere near Paul or any of the other Werewolves. I found it cute though. I loved how he would step in front of me when Paul was getting too close, or whenever one of the Werewolves would talk to me in an aggressive tone.
Edward, Jacob, Bella and I were hanging out after school at the Cullen's house. Edward and Jacob were sitting across the room talking. I couldn't help noticing Jacob taking glances at me throughout the conversation he was having. I wondered if he was talking about me. Only good things I hoped. He was quite beautiful wasn't he? His hair looked so great after he cut it. Not that it didn't look good before of course.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when Bella came back from the toilet. I smiled at her as she sat down beside me.
"Don't you think Jacob's hair looks great?" I said, still staring at him. Quite creepy actually.
"It does," Bella said plainly, "I have noticed he is really protective around you. What's that all about?" She asked, which made me turn my head finally. I see the wicked smile on her face and I blush slightly.
"Yeah, it is so cute. I love the way he protects me around the other werewolves." I looked down at my hands smiling a little. The blush that was spreading across my cheeks intensed. There is a lingering silence between us before Bella continues.
"I think he might have a crush on you," She said and I looked up at her yet again, "Look at the way he keeps looking at you. It's pure desire."
I now looked at Jacob and I kinda saw what she was talking about, but again that could just be me dreaming. I have had a crush on him for many years so I couldn't really trust myself with those things.
"I think you do too." Bella then said. I didn't bother looking up, exposing my red cheeks.
I then stood walking towards Jacob. When he looked my way once again and saw me coming my heartbeat rose. Was this really happening?
"Hey, Jacob, can we chat? Alone." I asked him, nerves building up. He nodded slowly standing up, still looking at me weirdly. Once we were both outside of the house where no others can eavesdrop I turned around looking at him. I saw how his eyes flickered around the area checking for possible threats while also trying to catch a glimpse of my face. Finally he focused on my eyes. I felt my breath hitch as he took a small step closer to me which caused me to take another step back.
"So..." He started breaking the tension, "What did you wanna talk about?" He asked in that adorable low voice of his. My heart fluttered a bit. I liked his deep voice. Why hadn't I ever told him that? Wait, why would I? That's when I realized I had just been staring at him. I looked away and cleared my throat feeling the blush creep onto my cheeks once again.
"Umm...well...you see..." My words trailed off for some reason. How come I couldn't even form sentences? "Well...ummm..." I began muttering again. Jacob gave a small amused laugh. I could tell by the way his shoulders quivered that he was struggling not to laugh out loud. It was nice seeing him like this.
"You're adorable when you're nervous." He smirked. I blushed harder. I definitely saw that because I noticed the tip of his ears turning slightly pink too. I tried to calm myself down as he continued chuckling lightly.
"Now, spill." He said as he put his hands on his hips. A habit of his when he's nervous. That is one more thing I find absolutely adorable about him.
"Um...well..." I began again, "There's something I've wanted to say. I really like you- I have for a while now. I like the way you are protective around me and your adorable laugh and I just appreciate you so much."
I looked nervously up at Jacob and his eyes seemed to shine in a new way. His lips curled up into a smile and I smiled again trying to calm my nerves.
"I like you too."
That single sentence was enough for me to let out a sigh. Before I could think of anything but my love for him I felt our lips crash together. His soft lips on mine was everything I had been longing for the past years and now having him close to me is surreal. We part our lips and he holds me close.
"You wanna be my girlfriend?" Jacob mumbled into my hair. I looked up at him.
"Yes!" I said excitedly with a little laugh following up.
"What about we have a picnic in the forest sometime later today?" Jacob asked as we were on our way into the house again. I smile looking up at my now boyfriend.
"I would love to." With his arm around my shoulders I leaned into his touch.
~Timeskip~
Jacob and I were walking through the forest just talking. We found a nice spot and laid down the picnic blanket we brought with us sitting down next to each other.
The sun was setting so it was getting dark quickly. My head was laying on his shoulder as he was leaning back on his hands. The sky was full of stars. There weren't any clouds or rain so the moon would soon be shining brightly.
He reached his hand out towards me and I grabbed it, lacing our fingers together. I smiled and looked over at him smiling back.
"You know you're the only guy that I've met that makes me feel butterflies in my stomach." I said looking back up at the sky. He squeezed my hand softly.
"No one else makes me this happy." I continued looking into his eyes. "You always make me smile no matter what I do. You're amazing, Jacob."
I paused for a second, "I love you."
"You really mean that?" He asked, I looked down blushing but nodded, "I love you too, Y/n"
We both fell silent for several minutes just holding each other's hand and staring at the night sky. I felt warm and content with how we were right now. It seemed we could stay like this forever just holding hands and looking at the stars forever. I looked back at Jacob smiling at him.
"Can I kiss you?" I whispered. He gently nodded and kissed me. Our lips brushed against each others as we kissed. A sharp pain shot through my body making me break the kiss and letting out a pained cry as I fell down on my back. Jacob looked at me with concerned eyes yet it was those protective eyes I knew all too well.
Looking around I saw Paul in his werewolf form and Jacob transforming. I felt myself lying in a pool of my own blood and I knew that I wasn't gonna make it. At least I got to tell him how much I loved him.
~Timeskip~
My eyelids felt heavy, but I opened them anyways. A bright light blinded my vision making me squint my eyes and take a hand to my face blocking out the light. Three blurry silhouettes were surrounding me.
"She's waking up!" I hear Bella's voice. It brings me some sort of calmness to know that she's here with me. She was always there for me when I needed her. I took down my arm again getting used to the light and I looked around my surroundings trying to focus but it was difficult as everything was blurry. I felt a hand hold onto my other hand stroking soothingly on the top of my hand with the thumb. I looked to see the person holding onto my hand and I saw my boyfriend Jacob.
I tried to sit up but as I do pain shoots through my body making me gasp. I laid down yet again looking down to see my waist being bandaged up.
"Paul bit you back in the forest. That means you may be turning into a Werewolf." Jacob said and I could clearly hear the hurt in his voice as if he thought it was his fault. I didn't blame him at all though. I am alive and that's what matters.
"We are really sorry, Y/n." Bella said refering to her and Edward. She walked closer to me and held onto my other hand. I smiled at her, brightly. I didn't mind. Not at all.
"You don't need to apologize." I said smiling wider. This just made me able to connect with Jacob on a deeper level. Bella was now smiling slightly too.
"You can always come to me, remember that. Edward and I are here for you too." She said, "But I think you better have some time alone with Jacob." She winked as she left together with Edward. When they closed the door looked over at Jacob again with a smile on my face.
"Would you like to move in with me?" Jacob asked, grinning down at me. I was washed over with joy that I would be able to live with my boyfriend.
"Yes!" I yelled, my smile widening. Jacob leaned down and we shared a romantic kiss celebrating our new chaotic relationship. This was a new opening with the man I love.
#twillight#jacob black#fanfic#fanfiction#twillight fanfic#twillight fanfiction#female reader#reader#yn#reader insert
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From Forks to Wildetown
Pairing: Bella Swan x Edward Cullent
Summary: When the carnival pitches up in Forks, Isabella Swan thinks nothing of it. Though when Irish entertainer Edward Cullen interupts her small-town life, Isabella is swept on a mad journey to the bright lights of Wildetown, and all the passion it has to offer.
Chapter word count: 2k
Link: From Forks to Wildetown
Type: Slow, angsty romance with enough heat to keep warm. Sexual Content. AU.
#twilight#twilight fanfic#bella swan#isabella swan#bedward#edward cullen#edward x bella#bella x edward#twillight fanfiction#fanfiction#bella swan fanfiction#edward cullen fanfiction#new moon#eclipse#breaking dawn#midnight sun
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The Talk
Felix x Vampire reader
Summary: After centuries of being together, y/n and Felix want to take the next step
Warnings: there is some slight mention of smut, but overall fluff
A/N: This is my first one-shot/imagine. I will try to start posting more often but I am currently in uni and my school work always comes first. I will take requests and I will do a whole post of what I can do or I am willing to do in the future.( There will be a second A/N at the end of this.)
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(Ok but like why is he like this, I am obsessed with this man, its not even funny anymore)
There I was standing in between Demetri and Felix along with the twins in front of the kings, apparently there's a last minute mission and almost all of the elite guards are going, except me. I tried not to show my anger but it seems Marcus noticed and he spoke up
“My dear, what anger’s you?”
I felt Felix grab my hand for comfort and I said
“Why can't I go with them on the mission, master?”.
Before Marcus could respond Caius took over
“You equal our four guards present, we do not need as much force for this mission, if the mission does take a turn then we will send you but as of now you are needed here”
I nodded and squeezed Felix hand in reassurance that I am okay.
The thing with me is I am a collector (as Aro has called it), with a touch I can have the gift of the vampire I touch without fully taking away the other vampire's power. Which is what makes me so powerful and what makes me a valuable member of the Volturi elite guard, I have so many gifts from the many vampires I have encountered in the past centuries.
Another thing to my peculiarity is my mate is Felix, the executioner and the prize fighter of the Volturi. We met many centuries ago when the Volturi was forming and he was the new member and just like any mate story when I saw him I knew we were meant to be. He is my other half and my reason for being.
Soon after the instructions of the mission were explained to the guards, they were preparing to go, I was sitting on mine and Felix’s bed watching him pack. This was something I have not grown used to even after the countless missions we would have to go separately, I hated being separated from him but duty calls.
Eventually he's in front of me on his knees since he is so tall and I'm really short, looking into my eyes. I rest my hands on his broad shoulders and said
“Even after centuries of countless missions, this is the one part I hate about them the most, being separated from you”
He gave me a small smile and grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle kiss with saying
“I know cara mia, it is never easy but I have no choice, but you know i'll be back before you know it”
I nod and pulled the same hand that is holding mine and gave it a small kiss, I gave him a smirk and said
“And when you come back we can have our fair share of fun”
I winked and he smirked in return
“Exactly mia amore”
I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him onto a hug. He wrapped his large arms around me in return and I smiled. We soon pulled away and he stood up, bringing me up with him and kissed me and then left for the mission.
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Its been a month without Felix and its pure torture without him, there have been a number of trials I have been in and they all end up with me killing them in a second. Currently I'm in the library with Caius (he surprisingly took a somewhat liking to me), he is giving me ‘lectures’ about modern art and real art. I always listen and take notes while he talks because sometimes he does ask me questions on what he has said so far. I interrupted his lecture
"Caius, why do you think humans love modern day art so much?”
He stayed quiet for a minute and said
“I believe it's because it is closer to their timeline and the humans can make broader and deeper meanings when something is simple versus ancient art has a more easier meaning but has a more complicated but beautiful outcome”.
I nodded and agreed.
“I always thought ancient art is more exquisite and fascinating then modern art”
He looked at me with an intrigued look
“Why do you say that?”
“As interesting modern day art is, now a days you can splatter any color on a white canvas and it's called a masterpiece, when ancient art would take months or even years to complete but it is worth the result”
He nodded
“Yes, I agree with you, it is entirely mental to think such things are true with modern art”
I nodded, Caius, the most ruthless king of the three agreed with me, it's not a surprise or shock since it does happen quite often and we think alike sometimes. I think that might be why he tolerates me more than the other guards and his brothers. We continued with our talk until a lower guard came and said that the others had returned from their mission.
Once he said the "others" I ran toward the throne room and saw Felix standing in front of the kings with the other guards. He turned his attention to me and I had to fight the urge to jump in his arms at that moment for the reason we are in front of the masters. I instead stood next to Caius' throne which he sat in after I arrived. I gave Felix a wink and he had to fight an urge to smile in return.
Soon after the report was over and the guards along with myself were dismissed, and once we were in the hallway I jumped into Felix’s arms that were already opened for me. I hugged him tightly and I kissed him without a second thought, we must of kissed for a while because we heard Demetri teasing us
“Get a room you two” We pulled away from the kiss and I said to Felix “He does have point”
Felix chuckled but nodded, he set me down and we both raced into our shared room. Once we were inside I said
“Fe you have no idea how much I missed you”
“I missed you too cara mia, I almost lost my mind in the mission but Demetri knocked some sense into me and I remembered that you promised once I came back we would have our fair share of fun”
I laughed while he smirked
“Of course you would remember that Fe, I bet you just couldn't get it out of your mind but it motivated you to get the mission finished as soon as possible, no?”
He nodded “Of course, anything to be able to see you in all of your glory”
I wrapped my arms around him and looked up to him
“I also couldn't get the thought of what you could do to me when you come back from the mission”
He pushed me against the wall and he leaned against the wall with his arm and looked down on me with a smirk
"Oh yea? How about we make those thoughts realistic?” I nodded without hesitation.
In an instant we were both in bed naked and making those thoughts realistic, we did it for 5 days straight until we stopped and were cuddling with me resting my head on his chest with an arm draped over his stomach and he had his arms around me.
“5 days Fe, I mean i'm not surprised remember when we first became mates and we did it for 2 months straight”
“How could I forget cara mia, best experience ever but every time we make love its always the best and it feels like it's the first time”
“It does feel like it, I can never get enough of you mi amor”
We stayed in a comfortable silence until we heard a knock and a voice say
“Are you two done yet? The twins are no fun and I missed you two already”
Me and Felix chuckled at Demetri's whining and I said
“Yes we will meet you in the lounge in 5 minutes”
We heard a cheer and then retreating footsteps.
We got dressed quickly and ran to the lounge room where Demetri was at waiting for us like a child, he saw us and said
“Finally, I was starting to think you forgotten of me”
“How could I ever forget you Dem, your my best friend”
He smiled and Felix went to sit on the couch with Demitri while I sat on the coffee table facing both vampires. We just talked for hours until the twins joined us. Demetri kept the conversation going
“Can you believe that human that the Cullens have, she had the audacity to speak to us like she had some power over us”
I raised an eyebrow when he said that
“Bella? The human swears just because she's with the Cullens she can't be killed, one day she might just get killed and I might as well be the one”
Both guys smirked and Felix spoke up
“Of course you will be the one cara mia, after all the crap she's put you through and given you attitude, when we first meet her and she addressed you in such a way I would of killed her on the spot if it weren't for the masters”
I nodded “She does have some gut, I'll give her that but that will get her killed easily”
Jane piped up “Yes I agree, it makes me mad I can’t use my gift on her”
I smiled “I know Jane, but someday she will get a nice karma”
They all nodded and Alec spoke up “You know I never got the chance to use my gift on her, you think it would have worked?
“I'm not sure, maybe”
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Me and Felix are once again relaxing in our private chambers cuddling. I love to cuddle with him, with our height differences I always feel so protective and safe in his arms, I love to lay my head on his broad chest with an arm draped over his stomach with my leg over his waist.
Sometimes when Felix has a tough day with training newborns he likes to lay on my stomach or chest and he wraps his muscular arms around my waist, in his words 'You're so comfy mia amore and I feel at peace and closer to you like this”. When he said these exact words to me many centuries ago I literally melted, if I had an actual beating heart it would've skipped a beat. Sometimes he doesn't even have to tell me he wants to cuddle or I to him, we just know or I read his actual thoughts.
In a soft voice I said “Fe, can I ask you something?”
“Of course mia amore, what's in your mind?”
"Have you ever thought about wanting a kid, a baby maybe?”
There was a thick silence but I heard his thoughts “More than anything, i wish I could have a biological child with her, give her something she has always wanted” at hearing his thought I smiled sadly but he soon spoke up
“I have thought about it mia amore, I would love to have a kid with you only…”
“You wish we could have a biological kid together”
He stayed quiet for a minute “Yes but I would not mind adopting a child with you, it would mean we would raise a child together as our own”
“You think the masters would let us adopt a kid? you know how master Aro is when it comes to things like this”
“That's why we talk with the masters together”
I sat up looking down on him with a smile, “You really want to do this my love?”
He reached a hand out to my cheek caressing it “Of course tesoro, I always want to give you everything you ask of me, and I want this also”
I leaned into this touch “Ok then, let’s talk with the masters then my love”
I smiled at him and I felt like my eyes twinkled. He smiled in return and pulled me into a deep passionate kiss which I returned, he pulled me on top of him and rested his hands on my waist while my hands ran into his hair. We pulled away and I said looking deeply into his bright red eyes
“I love you Felix, so much”
“I love you cara mia, forever and always”
As said before later in the day me and Felix went to talk with the Masters about wanting to adopt a child. I'm a bit nervous but I think they might say yes, me and Felix are the ones who do all of the heavy work around here.
We arrive at the masters library and we walk in holding hands. I saw that Aro looked up from a book and he gave us that creepy smile
“Ah dear y/n and Felix, what brings you two here?”
I felt Felix squeeze my hand and he spoke up “Me and y/n have a request, well more like a wish masters If I may say”
I saw that Caius looked up with a sudden interest in the conversation “Well go on, what is it that you wish for”
I spoke up with a small smile “Me and Felix have been talking about adopting a child”
There was that tense silence and I looked at all three masters waiting for them to say something, I even saw Marcus' eyes sparkle with interest.
Aro spoke up “A child you say? Why the sudden interest or why the request?
“Me and Felix have always wanted a child but with the status of being vampires we just lost hope on it a long time ago but with recent events we thought about adopting one (I saw that Aro was about to interrupt but I gave him a quick look) and before you say anything about our duties me and Felix will keep up with our duties and stay here still, we would raise the child here and with time when the child is of age we will turn them”
I saw Caius had an impressed look
“It seems someone came with a valid and persuasive speech, I taught you well y/n” I saw he had a very small smile.
I nodded “I learned from the best after all (smiling at him), so then what's the final answer then”
I squeezed Felix’s hand which he returned and then Aro spoke up
“I grant you permission to adopt a child, if you stay on top of your missions and duties as guards”
My eyes widen slightly and I looked at Felix who was already looking at me with a smile
“We both promise on your request masters”
All three of them nodded and then we ran out laughing happily, Felix even lifted me and spinned me around and he yelled
“We are going to be parents cara mia”
A/N: Should I make a part 2? I simp over Felix big time, he is the BFHG (Big Friendly Handsome Giant :). Anyways let me know if you want a second part. But the next one is going to be Alec (I also simp over this vampire).
#felix volturi x reader#the volturi#twillight#felix volturi#felix x reader#felix volturi imagines#felix volturi imagine#twilight saga#volturi fanfiction#volturi x reader#volturi guard#volturi imagines#twilight fanfiction#twilight imagine
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Dual Usage of a Secretary On Her Desk
This is the third part in the Uses of a Secretarial Desk Series.
Part 1 is here.
Part 2 is here.
A very fitting song for this fic:
Characters: This part is Demetri/F!Reader/Felix, and is ungodly long. The entire series is now over 8k words combined.
There are several pet names used, but none of them are derogatory.
The biggest warning I can think of other than sexual content is second-hand embarrassment.
Finally, I wasn't originally going to continue this so soon, if at all, but thanks to @kiiwiigii 's endless support and encouragement it exists. Seriously, guys. It took me five months between parts one and two, and parts two and three (this part) have less than a week between them. I can't thank her for her help enough.
10:27AM
The time reflected on the clock had been taunting you ever since you’d arrived at your desk promptly at eight o’clock this morning.
Struggling to fall back asleep after yet another dream last night had been terrible. You struggled to fall back asleep once awoken at the best of times, but that dream. Oh, that dream. It had left you with an ache and no time to care for it. An ache that seems to only have steadily increased in fervor since that first dream.
“I’m a vampire, it’s said to be in my nature. Besides, it’s not cruel if you like it.”
You’d been thinking about those dreams since they’d happened, even as you tried desperately to focus on anything else.
Like today. Like now. You were trying desperately to focus on your tasks for the day but unwittingly you’d find your mind wandering. Often lines that Demetri or Felix had spoken within your dreams whispered across your subconscious, feeding that delicious, distracting throb between your thighs.
“I need you, sweet girl. Now.”
You shifted in your seat, begging your mind to focus on your boring paperwork.
“What a spoiled girl, wanting to be fucked by Demetri, and wanting to be devoured by me.”
Perhaps pressing your thighs together would help? God, the wetness between your thighs was unbearable.
“Look at you, squirming on my fingers.”
Your pussy throbbed, and you took a deep breath in before letting it out slowly. You were tired, but you really should have touched yourself last night. Maybe if you had, you wouldn’t be in this situation.
“You’re so wet for me. Right here on your desk, love. Is that okay?”
Squeezing your eyes shut, you decide that you’re never going to make it to the end of your shift like this. It’s too early for your lunch break, but perhaps….
You sigh. No, going to the bathroom wouldn’t work. What if you were away from your desk too long? The last secretary had spelled one of Master Aro’s dear friend's name wrong and been retired. You weren’t going to take that chance.
That settles it. You can’t leave your desk, but you also can’t continue like this. You’ll have to take care of the issue here. Right at your desk.
Biting your lip, you shuffle in your seat so that you’re sitting as far back into it as possible. If you push yourself into your desk so that you’re sitting as close under it as possible…
Yes. That may work.
Slipping both hands under the desk with you, you begin to pull the skirt of your dress up your thighs. Thankfully, you’d forgone any sort of tights or hosiery underneath making your task easier. When the hem of the dress reached your hips, you wiggled in your seat, pulling it up a little higher closer to your waist.
Pausing to check your surroundings, you rest one hand on your stomach. You need to check for others nearby, particularly if any vampires have suddenly decided to populate the area, but none have. Relieved that you're alone, the hand not on your stomach moves to rest upon the desk, ready to fake a task should anyone appear.
The hand on your stomach slowly slips lower, until your fingers rested upon the fabric of the panties covering your soaked pussy. They weren’t anything fancy, just a pair of pink, plain cotton hiphuggers with small, white embroidered hearts on the front. You can feel those hearts against your palm as you move your hand, fingertips finding your clit through the fabric and rubbing softly.
The relief is almost immediate and you have to fight to keep your mouth closed, jaw wanting to drop open with relief and pleasure. Every circle of your clit sends small sparks up your spine, and you want to moan so badly in appreciation.
It’s so good.
Your wetness has made its way through your panties now, the fabric under your busy fingers wet and starting to stick rather than helping to provide you with friction. Humming quietly to yourself, you quickly shift and push your panties down to your knees before resuming your motions.
The first touch of your bare fingers circling your clit causes you to clench, the walls of your cunt flexing and flaring the feeling of emptiness, of needing to be filled, inside you. You start to whine, but bite the sound off abruptly. You need to remember to be quiet. Your fingers gradually get faster, chasing the release you can feel building low in your abdomen. Your legs have slowly spread apart, pressing against the inside of either side of your desk, opening further to provide better access to yourself. The panties previously around your knees have slipped down, and you’ve kicked them off your left leg so they lay hanging off your right ankle. You’re right there when suddenly your ears pick up on approaching footsteps.
You freeze, stilling your hand. Your skirt is still bunched up lewdly around your waist, with no time to correct its placement. You know that if you stand up to greet the approaching guard as expected, you’d expose yourself, and your activities, to them. Keeping your hand in place, you decide to stay seated. Hopefully, the guard will pass by, paying you as little attention as possible, as is their usual, and won’t notice your lack of standing. You also hope, that if your hand is noticed they’ll simply believe you to be resting it upon your lap.
As a figure rounds the corner, you plaster a smile on your face, scrambling for any semblance of normalcy, and call out cheerily.
“Good morning!”
Demetri slows his pace as he rounds the corner, eventually stopping before your desk.
“Morning.”
He greets you with a raised eyebrow. You know it’s because you’re not standing. You both know the routine, the secretary is to stand when greeting a vampire. Something about showing respect for your betters.
You remain seated. You cannot stand up.
“I’m feeling a bit under the weather today,” you rush to explain “so I’m-“
“Ah.” He cuts in, nodding slightly. You’re thankful for the interruption as you hadn’t planned anything more to say. "Nothing too serious I hope?"
"No!" You clear your throat nervously, "No, I'll just be uh- sitting today. Instead of standing. Because I'm ill."
He stares at you, his head tilting to the side. He's looking you over carefully and you have the urge to do something but the thought of moving is terrifying. What if moving draws his attention toward your indecency rather than away from it? His gaze pauses on the floor, near the side of your desk, and you relax slightly. Maybe the floor is dirty. That has nothing to do with you. Cocking an eyebrow at what he sees, his eyes lift again to meet yours. Holding eye contact with him is excoriating, your current predicament and the dreams making it difficult. You want to look away. You want to run away.
"Did you drop something?" He asks, his voice is... odd. Slightly deeper than you're used to hearing and there's an almost husky quality to it.
"No?" You don't recall anything falling from your desk and you shift slightly, careful to keep yourself hidden, and peer down beside your desk.
Immediately your face is scarlet. Oh, you wish you could die. Right now. You wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Peeking out from under your desk, still around your right ankle, is the corner of your panties. The pink fabric taunts you, looking so innocent in such an unfortunate scenario.
"Oh," You start to say, about to provide an excuse for why there would be fabric there. Maybe a purse?
It's too late though. Demetri is already bending down and grasping the fabric in his hand, attempting to pull the offending mystery out from under the desk. Your right ankle jerks as he tugs, following the fabric.
"Demetri, wait!" You scramble to explain yourself. "That's....um, not what it looks like." You finish lamely, mortified to be in this situation.
"Oh, I think they're exactly what they look like." He's grinning as his eyes lift from the panties in his hold, traveling up the length of you. Up to your embarrassed face, and past your eyes to lock onto-
"It seems that I've arrived right in time."
Felix. Felix is behind you, and Demetri's eyes have locked onto him while he grins.
"Oh yes," Demetri intones "I've just discovered our naughty girl's panties around her...ankle."
You're flushing, embarrassed, and confused by his words. Our girl? Does he mean our as in the covens? Or-
"Her ankle? " Felix's voice breaks your train of thought, and his hands are on you suddenly. His hands close down on your shoulders and pull. The wheels on your chair's legs help him to pull you out from under your desk and towards him.
He lets out a dark chuckle, and your legs are clenching as you're exposed to his sight, standing so tall behind you and able to see everything. The chair lurches to a stop as it meets his front and you instinctively grab the armrest with both hands to steady yourself. With your hand no longer covering you, your wet cunt is exposed to the open for anyone to see. You're just forming the thought to close your legs when suddenly Demetri is there, kneeling between your spread thighs, and stealing the hand that had been between your legs from its place upon the armrest. He hums in the back of his throat, and then your cunt slickened fingers are disappearing into his mouth. His tongue laps at them, cleaning them of your juices.
You whimper audibly. Demetri moans.
Felix, not one to be ignored, moves his hands from your shoulders. One hand circles firmly, but gently, around your throat, his thumb brushing your jawline as he tilts your head back towards him. His other hand travels downwards and cups a breast. The hand cupping your breast squeezes gently and the second your mouth opens in a gasp, he's there. Felix's tongue invades your mouth, exploring you and pulling another sound from your throat.
Demetri's mouth releases your fingers, and you feel hands upon your knees. The thumbs rub a small circle across each one before they're hooking under the back of them, pressing your legs up and back to hook over the armrests of your chair. You make a questioning sound in your throat, but Demetri makes a soothing one in return before he presses close between your rearranged thighs. Kisses begin to rain down upon your legs, moving from the inside of one knee and inward. When he reaches that spot where your leg meets your hip, Demetri switches to your other leg to repeat the process. You squirm a little in response and receive a warning squeeze from Felix's hand around your throat in response.
"Look at you." Demetri's voice cuts through the relative silence of the hallway you all occupy "A pretty little snack, so kindly prepared for me to enjoy."
And then his mouth is on you.
Your back arches and you let out a muffled yelp. Felix laughs softly as he breaks your kiss, the thumb of the hand around your throat brushing your jawline softly before it drops to join the other on your chest. He releases your captive breast and then his hands are fisting in the fabric of your dress and pulling. The fabric gives way, tearing down the middle as easily as wrapping paper, exposing your naked tits.
"No bra?" He questions tauntingly.
You open your mouth to answer, but Demetri's tongue pressing into your opening provides a distraction. Felix had already begun to speak again, anyway.
"You know, those dresses you wear are very pretty. Almost as pretty as the sight of your hard little nipples poking out within the confines of them." His hands are cupping your breasts again, thumbs brushing lightly across your nipples before retreating. The feeling combines beautifully with the way Demetri's currently fucking you open with his tongue. "I've wanted to do this for ages."
"Felix" You plead with him. For what, you're not sure. Just that it feels right. "Please..."
"Please? Oh, such nice manners. Did you hear that, Demetri?"
Demetri hums affirmatively in response and you almost scream, the vibrations against you are intense. You're still so sensitive from your earlier touching, especially since you never actually got to finish, and his hum causes sparks of pleasure to shoot up your spine. You start to beg again, but Felix sliding two of his fingers into your mouth puts a stop to that.
"Be a good girl and get these wet for me."
You're staring up at him and sucking his fingers, not even questioning why and Felix grins down at you.
"So obedient, perfect girl."
You moan around his fingers at the praise, and he slides his fingers out slowly, sensually dragging them across your lips as they retreat. His wet fingers return to the breast he'd been neglecting, closing around your nipple to pinch. He's gentle at first but adds more pressure until he gets the reaction he was seemingly aiming for. He has you suck the first two fingers of his still-dry hand until both hands match, and then his focus is on your nipples. His fingers tug, brush, and pinch relentlessly. You're gasping, and then moaning, as the combination of both Demetri and Felix's efforts combine. You're squirming, hips bucking up before Demetri pins them to the chair with his hands. You can feel that cliff getting closer again, stronger than earlier. The feeling burns, but it's so good. You're absentmindedly grinding your hips, moving against Demetri's mouth as much as you're able and begging.
"Oh, god, please. Felix. Shit. Demetri. I'm-" You gasp, as that cliff is suddenly right in front of you and you're about to go hurdling off. "I'm going to come. I'm, I'm going to-"
Except you don't because just as you're about to be shoved that final inch over the edge, they both stop. They stop. You gasp, this time in outrage, and Demetri laughs.
"Don't laugh at me," You complain, pouting and unable to keep the whine from your voice. "That's the second time you've done that to me."
Felix takes a step closer to your desk and suddenly the surface is cleared. Your pens, papers, and other items hit the floor with the sweep of his arm. Demetri stands, taking you with him, and moves to the now cleared desk. Depositing you on the cool surface he shoots you a questioning look.
"Um- Well, earlier...." You stutter out, struggling to explain just how he'd interrupted your irresponsible self-care session earlier. "I was... when you came around the corner earlier."
They both let out an amused sound, bastards.
“You can come on my tongue later. Right now, I’d prefer you do so on my cock.” Demetri pulls you in for a kiss, lips moving with yours momentarily before he’s pulling away again.
"Don't worry, princess. We'll make it better." Felix soothes you.
Demetri applies pressure with a hand between your breasts, pressing you back to lie on your desk.
"Yes, we will. We promise. Would you like to know how?" Demetri speaks this time.
You nod.
"Demetri," Felix says, "is going to fill that needy hole between your legs." He's standing by your head now, a hand lifting from his side to run through your hair. "And while he's doing that, I'm going to keep your mouth occupied while I wait for my turn."
“Oh, fuck.” You gasp out.
“That’s the idea, love” Demetri grins down at you from his resumed place between your thighs, standing this time. His hands move to his belt buckle, and he begins to undress. His belt opens first, and then his slacks. Felix’s hand has moved, providing support for your head as your stare down your body, watching Demetri free his cock.
You lick your lips, wetting them before you speak.
“No underwear?”
“You’re one to talk, sweetheart.” Demetri quips, a hand wrapped around his base to steady his cock as he positions himself so that the head is rubbing along the seam of you. A muscle in your thigh twitches, and then he’s directing his hand so that the tip of him is brushing over your clit.
Your mouth has dropped open, and you’re panting in anticipation.
“Please.”
Demetri smiles, his teasing speeding slightly, but not giving you what you really want.
“Please,” you try again “I want you- I need you inside me.”
“You beg so beautifully.” He praises, and then he’s notching his head at your entrance, and inside of you. You moan, voicing your delight at finally being filled, and clench around his intrusion. Demetri isn’t small, but he’s also not overly large. There’s a slight pleasing stretch as he first enters, but you adjust quickly. His hands settle on you again, one on your hip and the other holding one of your legs hooked on his hip. He begins to thrust inside you steadily, and as he finds a rhythm Felix decides it’s time your attention was shared once again.
The hand he has holding your neck begins to lower and your head follows until eventually it’s just hanging off the end of the desk. While you were distracted by Demetri, Felix had also undone his pants. Unlike Demetri, however, Felix had been wearing boxers. He’d shoved the front waistband down, and it now rests below the base of his cock. And his cock- oh, god, his cock is huge. You shouldn’t be surprised, the man is almost seven feet tall. While not worryingly large, he looks to be around seven or eight inches, he is thick. The sight of him, and the feeling of Demetri angling to hit a sweet spot inside you, makes you moan. The thought of Felix inside you makes you clench around Demetri. If Demetri feels this good, Felix may kill you.
”I think she likes what she sees” Demetri laughs lowly, “if the way her cunt fluttered is any indication.”
“Don’t give me all the credit, Demetri.” Felix fists a hand around his cock, stroking it slowly a few times while you watch transfixed before his hand drops away. “She’s making such pretty sounds for us while you fill her.”
“Unfortunately, I’m going to muffle them.” The hand that had been stroking his cock is now cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. “I have plans for that sweet mouth of hers.”
The thumb on your bottom lip presses down, opening your mouth to slip inside. He presses down on your tongue with it and you feel your saliva pooling around the digit. Closing your lips around it, you suck. Hesitantly at first, but as his eyes heat you get bolder.
"P-please. Can I please-." You gasp as Demetri thrusts into you, cutting you off momentarily.
"What was that, sweetling?" Felix bends down to murmur in your ear, hands fisting in your hair.
"Can I please suck your cock." You practically moan, begging for permission to taste him even as blush restains your cheeks.
Felix pulls back and lets out a surprised laugh. Demetri groans, cursing under his breath.
"Our girl is naughtier than I thought, Demetri."
“She is,” Demetri agrees. “Our brave girl,- fuck. So tight - asking for cock even though it’s so hard. Look at that blush.”
“Hmm.” Felix hums, thinking. “Since you begged so prettily. Go on, wrap a hand around it.”
You don’t give him time to change his mind, a hand immediately raising to wrap around the base of his cock. It’s heavy in your hand and your fingers have a gap between them, unable to meet while wrapped around him.
Gathering your courage, you glance up at him through your lashes, lean in, and run your tongue over the slit of his tip. The taste of his precum covers your tongue, and your lips tingle when you lick them. They’re chapped, so maybe it’s from the venom? You don’t linger on the thought, going back for another lick, firmer this time. When he moans, you open your mouth and suck the head of his cock in. Opening your jaw this wide causes an ache, and you know you won’t be able to keep this up nearly long enough. You’re going to try anyway.
Sucking the few inches you can fit into your mouth, you hum. The vibrations are a success and Felix hisses. His hips jerk forward before he corrects himself, and you begin to move your hand in tandem with the bobbing of your head. What you can’t fit in your mouth, you can stroke with your hand.
Unintentionally, you find your motions lining up with Demetri’s thrusts inside of you. Your hand strokes down Felix’s cock as Demetri fills you. Upwards when Demetri pulls back. It’s a cheap illusion to being inside of you, but from the way Felix’s eyes dart to glance down to where Demetri repeatedly fills you, you know it’s one he’s caught onto.
You hum again, this time stronger, and are pleased when Felix grunts. His hands tighten their hold on your hair and he stiffens.
“Fuck, okay.” He’s guiding your head off of his cock not long after. “Hands only, sweetheart. I’m going to cum.”
One of his hands joins yours around him, guiding you to touch him how he needs.
“Stimulate the head. Yes, like that. Good girl. Such a good- fuck, good girl.”
You lose focus on your task, mouth falling open with a moan as Demetri’s tempo suddenly speeds up. He’s hitting that spot from earlier perfectly and the knot low in your abdomen is back with a vengeance. Every thrust pulls the thread of it tighter. Felix lets out a long moan, and then cool streams of cum are painting your tits. You’re gasping every time Demetri bottoms out inside of you, you can feel a sense of anticipation the closer your release gets. Having been denied twice, it’s aggressive as it nears with pleasure coursing roughly through you.
“Fuck, Demetri.” You cry out, just as your vision goes white. You see stars the orgasm is so strong. Your hand shoots down to grip at the one Demetri has grasping your hip, your pinky fingers interlocking. It’s a poor man’s handhold, but it feels so right. Demetri groans, and his thrusts begin to land harder, his pelvis meeting yours roughly before you feel a cool liquid filling you.
“There,” Demetri pants “nice and full. Isn’t that better, precious girl?”
You hum appreciatively, still coming back to yourself. Demetri’s hand on your hip shifts and his thumb grazes across your sensitive clit, causing you to jump before he’s pulling out.
You can feel his chilled cum begin to leak out of you, starting to trail down towards your ass. You attempt to free the hand entwined with Demetri’s to reach down, intending to feel the mess he's made of you, but he refuses to release your pinky from his. He keeps your fingers locked together even as he swaps places with Felix, your arm lifting as your hand moves up above your head. The trailing cum never makes it to its destination, as Felix uses his new location between your thighs to his advantage.
Felix gazes between your thighs hungrily, and you almost give in to the urge to close your legs. The urge to hide from his intense gaze is a strong one, but somehow you resist.
“Good girl.” He must have noticed the instinctive jerk of your thighs towards one another, and their return to position. The praise fills you with warmth, and you shift them open a little farther. He’ll need the extra room.
The fingers of one hand graze along your ass cheek as they brush a light path along your skin to catch the cum leaking downwards. His fingers drag upwards, bringing the escaped cum with them, to your opening. His fingers gently dip in and out of you, pushing Demetri’s fluids back where they began, before shifting to trace the length of you. Up. Down. And up again.
“Messy girl” he murmurs, staring distractedly at the sight of his fingers dragging along you, spreading the mix of Demetri’s cum and your fluids. You are messy, you can feel how wet you are. Your fluids combined with Demetri’s make you sticky and slick.
“Absolutely perfect.” He praises, those fingers still moving along you. “Are you ready for my cock?”
“Yes.” You answer immediately. “Please, Felix.”
Like Demetri had earlier, Felix rubs the head of his cock along the seam of you, spreading your fluids along the both of you. Unlike Demetri, who had done so to tease, Felix also does so out of necessity. You’ll both need the lubrication to make taking him easier. Finally, when he decides you’ve soaked his cock acceptably he notches his head at your opening.
“Oh, god!” You exclaim, the sight of him lined up against your needy hole is a potent sight and your walls flutter in anticipation.
“Just Felix will do, love,” Felix answers cockily.
“Oh, shut u-“ Your reply cuts off abruptly as he shifts forward slightly and, with a pop, his sizable head slips into you. Your head falls back with a whimper, and Demetri is there. His hand cups the nape of your neck and he takes advantage of your exposed neck to pepper kisses along it. A bruise is sucked into your skin at the corner of your jaw.
Felix doesn’t move far, letting just the first inch or two sink into you before pulling back. He repeats the forward and back motion, slowly working his length into you. The stretch is exquisite, and you want to beg him for more. His face is tilted downward, staring down at where the two of you are joined and watching the progress as your cunt slowly swallows his cock. Felix is most of the way inside you now and he’s dragging along spots you’d never had stimulated at the same time before. The experience is overwhelming, and on one particularly pleasurable thrust, a mewl escapes your throat. You’d been valiantly trying to keep relatively quiet, but that last sound had been louder than any you’ve made so far.
“Oh, that was a pretty sound.” Felix taunts you, pace speeding slightly “Imagine the sounds you’d have made if Demetri hadn’t worked you open for me first. The whole castle would be able to hear you. Say, thank you, little girl. Thank Demetri for opening your pretty cunt up for me.”
Your eyes lock onto Felix’s and from the grin he gives you, you can tell he’s serious. You’re panting from the stimulation of both of their ministrations and speaking more than one quick word at a time is going to be a challenge. A fact he clearly knows.
“Thank- oh!.” You try, you really do. They’re making it difficult for you though, Felix is purposefully targeting the spots inside you that cause you to see stars as he thrusts. Demetri isn’t helping either, his hands cupping your cum covered breasts and pinching your nipples.
“Thank- fuck. Thank.”
“Come on, sweetheart.” Demetri prompts you, tauntingly. “Are two little words so hard to say to me?”
You make a sound at him, intended to be one of annoyance but it sounds more whiny than anything. They’re such bastards. Both of them. Demetri’s head bends down over your chest, lips closing around a nipple and sucking.
“God,” you gasp out, an unfiltered thought spilling out unbidden “your mouth. Magical.”
That gets a chuckle out of both of them, and you remember the task you were trying to accomplish when Felix pats your thigh.
“Thanks.” No dice, his thrusts increase punishingly. Not enough to hurt, but you feel like your eyes are rolling back from the increase of pleasure pouring into your nerves.
“The right words, pretty girl. You know that’s not what you were told to say. Thank him properly, brat.”
“Thank yo-“
Felix suddenly hilts fully within you, his pelvic bone pressing against you just right and you’re flying. Suddenly shoved over that mind-blowing cliff once again, you’re sobbing out your pleasure as your cunt clenches as tightly as it’s able around Felix’s thick cock. Your thighs clamp around Felix’s hips, and you vaguely register Felix muttering a rough fuck while Demetri chuckles.
“Ooh,” Felix coos “Are you playing favorites? You didn’t do that for Demetri.”
“That’s not very nice of you” Demetri chimes in, his words vibrating against the nipple he still has in his mouth. “I’m going to claim partial credit though” Demetri continues, “My mouth does feel magical after all.”
“Magical mouth or not, she’s going to come on my cock twice.” Felix is bragging.
There’s a derisive snot from Demetri.
“Speaking of magical mouths” Demetri drawls, lips withdrawing from your tit. “It’s my turn with yours.”
He stands up straight, no longer needing for his mouth to reach your tits.
“No hands this time, pet. I want those pretty lips of yours wrapped around me the whole time.”
Finally releasing his hold on your pinky finger, Demetri guides your hand to touch his thigh. Gripping your wrist, he makes your hand tap where your it rests before pressing firmly until you grip his pant leg. You keep your hand where he’s placed it, clearly there’s a purpose.
“Three taps, baby, and I’ll stop. Do you understand?”
You start to nod, but at his raised eyebrow you choke out an affirmative answer, struggling to form words against the tide of pleasure caused by Felix’s resumed movement inside you.
“Y-yes!”
“Perfect, brilliant girl.”
His hand is cupping the nape of your neck again, supporting your head and neck as it hangs off the end of the desk. You open your mouth eagerly, earning a low chuckle from his, and then he’s pressing inside.
Your jaw isn’t as strained as it was with Felix, and you know you can keep your mouth open longer for Demetri. He starts slow, shallowly thrusting into your mouth. When he doesn’t feel any tapping, and decides you’re okay, he begins to deepen his thrusts. You attempt to use your tongue, moving it to hopefully help add some stimulation, but that proves useless.
Eventually, Demetri’s thrusts into your mouth have you moaning around the entire length of him. You’re proud you manage to do so, and the faces and sounds he makes as he fucks your mouth make for delicious validation.
When his thrusts begin to line up with Felix’s, you whine. Both of them thrusting into your wet, willing holes at the same time is filthy in the best way.
“Yeah?” Felix purrs “Do you like this, little girl? Being stuffed full of our cocks.”
You squeal when Felix’s thumb finds your sensitive clit. The tight, fast circles he’s making on it are causing a severe degree of pleasure. You almost wish you could remind them that this will be your third orgasm, you’re so sensitive. Seeing as your mouth is full of Demetri, you can only moan brokenly and hope they’re feeling merciful.
“You can take it.” Demetri’s words are firm. “You will take it.”
“Just this last orgasm, sweet girl. Give us this one, and we’ll let you rest.”
His fingers are relentless as they circle your clit, as are their thrusts. Felix’s cock nudges against a specific spot inside you and you scream. The sound is muffled by Demetri, who pauses momentarily, waiting for tapping. When none comes, he resumes. It feels as if your body is on fire, the starting point of your cunt quickly overtaking the rest of you. The hand fisting in Demetri’s pants is sure to have white knuckles.
Please.
After you’d screamed, Felix had angled to hit that spot on every thrust. It’s well-executed agony, and when Demetri reaches out and pinches your nipple you’re tossed headfirst into release. You know your eyes are rolling backward in your head this time, and you clench so hard around Felix that he snarls. He hilts inside of you, grinding himself against you once, twice, and then he’s filling you.
Demetri pulls out of your mouth abruptly, his hand moving along his length in three rough strokes before his cum is joining his fellow guards across your chest.
Gentle hands stroke your thighs soothingly, and when hands tangle into your hair you open your eyes. You didn’t know you’d closed them.
“Hey there, love. You still with us?”
“Mhmm.” Your response is weak, and such a happy sound that they grin.
“Lovely girl,” Demetri’s grin is wide “Was that better than your dreams?”
You’re too fucked out to gasp at the knowledge that they know. They know! Have they known the whole time?
“Maybe I’m dreaming right now.” You sass. ��
Felix moves a hand from your thigh to pinch your ass, and you yelp loudly before shooting him a disbelieving glare.
“What?” They both speak simultaneously “Now you know you’re awake.”
#sin tag#oh god is there sin#original#twilight fanfiction#fanfiction#demetri volturi#demetri imagine#demetri volturi x reader#felix volturi#felix volturi imagine#felix imagine#demetri volturi imagine#felix volturi x reader#twilight imagine#the twilight saga#twilight saga#twillight#drabble#tag talk#Spotify
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General Audiences
No Archive Warnings Apply
Gen
Complete Work
Tags
Four & Twilight (Linked Universe)
Twilight (Linked Universe)
Four (Linked Universe)
Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda)
Summary
Twilight shakes his head. “Nah, you’s didn’ know. ‘S a fair question since they ain’t exac’ly subtle an’ all. I ain’t squeamish ‘bout it.” he catches the red flash of Four’s earring again, and that earlier tight feeling softens. “They be a reminder, too. ‘M actu’lly a bit fond of ‘em now, t’ tell the truth.”
Four smiles a little at that. “Yeah, I get it.”
Somehow, Twilight knows immediately that he does.
- - -
or: Four and Twilight don't talk as much as Twilight would like. Four's the one that comes to him, in the end.
#linked universe#lu four#lu twillight#lu fanfiction#fanfiction#twilight talks#ao3 fanfic#writingrose
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7. Tempest
⎔ MASTERLIST ⎔ REQUESTS ⎔ TWILIGHT ⎔ BOUNDARIES ⎔
Word Count: 6.5k
Warnings: angst, anger/fighting, kind of smutty but not really, slow burn
A/N: How long has it been? Honestly no clue. Thank you so much for the continued support, even in my absence. I don't want to make excuses for the lack of updates but, this story is far from over and I will be updating more regularly. I'm recently out of hospital after losing all mobility so I'm relearning to use my hands so typing is hard, due to this updates will be slow (although faster compared to the wait between this chapter and the previous!) There are likely to be grammatical errors to due to this. I've tried correcting them all - bare with me.
also couldn't decide on a GIF, send me a better one and I'll replace it but maybe also might give another reward.
I've created a TAGLIST add your name if you wish to get updates
← Chapter 6 ▪️ Chapter 8→
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His answer echoes through every corner of your brain, exciting your heart once again, as you walk hand in hand to the edge of the forest and stare out at the house. The feeling lasted but fleetingly as dread overwhelmed the senses. Paul staying for dinner would mean meeting the parents and you’re not entirely sure you’re mentally prepared for the event. Infact, you’re not sure you ever would be. A squeeze to your hand brings your attention back to the present moment.
“I think I can handle parents” he teases with a second reassuring squeeze of the hand. You stare up at him, confusement present on your features.
“How did you know I was thinking-”
“Call it an educated guess,” he laughs as light twinkles in his eye. “Besides, I wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn’t prepared for the inevitability of meeting family.”
“At least one of us is prepared” you joke, exhaling deeply. Before another word could be spoken you started towards the house, giving him a small tug on the arm to follow so you couldn’t talk yourself out of it. Quick like a plaster was your mantra as you marched through the quagmire that had developed in the afternoon rain. Only briefly do you brace yourself for the onslaught of questions and then begrudgingly drag your feet up the stairs of the back porch. Relief washes over you at the sight of the empty kitchen as you push through the back door of the house, but it is short-lived as your mother makes an appearance in the archway that connects to the living room.
“Thought I heard someone” she sounds cheery as she moves to give you a hug. She gives a tight squeeze and then takes your face in her hands and looks deep into your eyes “how are you feeling sweetie?” She continues to inspect your face, for any clues as to what's going on in your mind.
“I’m good mum” you take her hands in yours and remove them from your face to give her a sweet smile. She accepts your answer, content that everything seemed well as she busies herself with the kettle on the stove as it starts to whistle. “In fact, I was wondering if perhaps… well, it’s just that…” the words start to stick in your throat as you realise this was the first time you were bringing a guy home. “Is it okay if I have a friend over to eat?”
“Honey, you know it is-”
“We don't even have to eat them.” Frank’s voice takes you by surprise as you turn to see him in the archway, his arms folded as he winks at you.
“Frank!” Your mother scolds, earning a chuckle from him. “Is it Sarah?” Your mother looks up from pouring the boiling kettle water into her mug as she asks the question.
“More likely to be the man who’s loitering outback” once again Frank surprises you as your mother’s face screws up into a questioning stare. You start to open your mouth to question him but Frank once again beats you to it “Who is the young man then?”. He’s got his official tough guy voice on, the one you’ve only heard a handful of times when he’s answered a work call. “Wouldn’t be the same one that brought you home unwell and drugged up from that party?” Your mother’s mouth drops open as you completely ignore Frank’s questioning and rush to the door as a feeling of loneliness spreads through your chest. Paul’s back disappears into the treeline you both had emerged from only minutes ago. The emptiness that engulfs you rips through painfully as it threatens never to be replaced by joy or happiness again. It commands your feet to run, splashing muddy water at your body as you slog through the mire. The shouts of Frank from the porch are nothing but white noise as the panic rises through you, cascading through your body in waves of numbness.
“Don’t go!” you try to shout but it comes out as a croaky whisper. “Don’t go!” you find your voice and start yelling at the top of your lungs as you come to halt in the growing darkness of the forest. “Paul?” you cry out, desperate for his presence to return. The darkness inside is swallowing you whole, not even the rustle of the bushes and the pounding of feet is enough to drag you from its depths and make you run. Instead you watch, numb and unmoving as a beast charges you.
You wake sitting bolt upright. Sweat beading across your forehead and running in rivulets down your temple. Hair sticks to the dampness created by the all to vivid dream. Your eyes scour your room searching for that beast in the morning light that creeps through the drawn curtains. After a few minutes you calm yourself and lay back down in the damp sheets, thinking over the events of the dream. Being in the forest, alone with Paul, the steamy kiss that felt so real you could almost feel it lingering on your lips; the echo of a ghost. You lay for a while trying to fall back asleep but feeling too deeply distracted. In a mood you force yourself up from bed, pulling yesterday’s clothes on which had been discarded in a heap on the floor. You make your way downstairs to grab some breakfast, knowing you should eat but finding the contents of the cupboard totally uninspiring so settle for a coffee. You lean against the kitchen counters sipping the hot brown liquid trying your hardest to fight the urge to get in the car and drive back to the reservation.
“What would you say you idiot?” You muse aloud, trying to convince yourself not to do it. “‘Oh, I’m back because I can’t stop thinking about you and a steamy kiss that never happened.’ no, I can’t…” you laugh at yourself while the memory of how close you’d come to kissing in the cabin pops up in your memory. You start busying yourself by washing up your mother and Frank’s breakfast dishes, looking out the kitchen window at the back yard, noting how unlike a quagmire it currently is and not at all like the dream when your eyes register a shape in the distant treeline. The breath in your lungs catches followed by a sharp inhale. The great beast is a dark grey brown in colour, blending in with the surroundings. You would have completely missed the creature if it wasn’t for the familiar feeling that licked at you and drew attention to its presence. Your view of the outside world is temporarily blocked by the kitchen wall as you move from the window to the door. Disappointment hits hard as you stand in the cold morning air on the porch, looking at nothing but trees.
You jump, startled by the clear ringing of the doorbell as it sounds around the house. With a sense of elation and the sound of drumming feet you race through the house to swing the front door open, hoping it’s him.
“Sarah?” You couldn’t hide the shock and annoyance at your friend being on the other side.
“Could sound a little less displeased!” She jokes barging her way into the house. You shake your head, realising you’d been rude and try to clear all thoughts of Paul away. You can’t help but smile at your friend as she makes herself comfortable in the kitchen, readying two mugs for coffee. The idea of making the drink causes the realisation to hit that Sarah should be at work. “What’s up?” She questions after spotting the look on your face in the window reflection.
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” You prop yourself against the door frame awaiting an answer.
“You’re one to talk!” She glares in a half joking way but you detect an undertone of seriousness. “Not that you have a job anymore anyway…” she trails off leaving you straining to hear.
“Sorry?” You squeak out. Sarah busies herself moving the drinks to the kitchen table with an awkwardness as if suddenly uncomfortable in her own skin. Her bum plonks down onto a chair and she forces herself to take a sip of the far too hot liquid, you know she’s burnt herself as her face screws up in pain.
“Look,” she starts trying to piece together what to tell you. “It’s not for me to say” she tries to blow it off which earns her an eyebrow raise from you. “It’s really not my place-”
“Well you made it your place” you snap. “Tell me what happened to my job, please.” Your patience was running thin now. Sarah drums her fingers into the table top before finally speaking.
“The diner is currently closed, so there’s that aspect” she looks up at you from beneath her lashes, resentment etching her features that she was finding hard to hide. The diner being closed answered why Sarah wasn’t at work today.
“I’m sensing there's more to this” you probe while taking the chair opposite.
Sarah responds by ironically rolling her eyes “Well the only difference between our situations is mine’s temporary. Benny sees it as your fault, he’s mad-”
“At what?” You sit forward leaning on the table, eyes wide, wanting to know what your boss thought was your fault. “Why have I lost my job?” You start to shout.
“I totally agree that Benny deserved what he got, he was being a total ass, but Paul should have gone easy-”
You didn’t wait to hear what Paul had done. The gnawing feeling in your gut was all you needed to send you flying through the room, wasting no time in grabbing your shoes and keys. Sarah grabs your shoulder as she turns you to face her. She can see the wildness tearing through your eyes as fury rises. “Confronting him isn’t a good idea, surely what happened to Benny is enough for you to see how dangerous his temper can be-”
“His temper?!” You almost laugh, “Maybe he should be afraid of mine,” you almost snarl “Mine most certainly is match for any mans and if he thinks i’m going to roll over and let him-”
“Geeze okay, I’m coming. You’ll need all the backup you can get.” Sarah pushes aside her feeling of unease and the urge to say I told you so, wishing you’d left Paul alone when she warned you, and follows hot on your heels out the house.
Sarah actually ends up driving as her head is much clearer than yours. You pay little attention to the journey, focusing only on what you’re going to say. The desire to hold your ground floods your veins and drives your instincts, so much so that when the car pulls up in front of the familiar cabin you immediately jump from the vehicle and head towards a track on the opposite side of the clearing. Sarah’s voice calls after you from the driver's side of the car but it goes unheard as you march to the thumping of your heart in your ears. Emily, who had been preoccupied inside the cabin, heard the commotion caused by Sarah and appeared in the entrance way in time to see you trudging off towards where she knew the boys to be. Sarah and Emily share a brief worried glance before rushing to follow.
The sound of your feet slapping against the earth barely registers as you start running. Despite not knowing where you’re headed, you know it’s towards him. Explaining the feeling inside would be almost impossible; it’s deep, magnetic, instinctual. It’s like a moth to a flame, but also so much more than that. You’d have to experience it to know properly. A sweat starts to break out on your forehead or so you think, until the wetness starts feeling heavier and cold and realise it’s the start of rain. Not caring about getting wet, you carry on with your fast pace, putting some distance between you and the girls. Eventually the path you took emerges on the edge of a beach, the transition in terrain striking you as odd. The mud trail just stops and turns to sand, a few grass patches sporadically placed here and there. The sound of crashing waves dulls any other noise there might have been and for a brief moment you feel calm as you step out onto the beach and take a deep breath of sea air. If it wasn’t for the radar inside going off alerting you to his presence closing in, you would happily stay here and enjoy the scene. A familiar gnawing sets in as butterflies swim around your tummy. The ones you get every time he’s nearby, closing your eyes you can almost imagine the warmth of him as he wraps arms around you and the scent that sends heat rushing through your veins. It’s almost powerful enough to sweep aside the anger.
Almost.
You turn your attention to look up at the wide stretch of beach. Far off in the distance you believe you can make out shapes, or is it that feeling which confirms he’s there? One foot at a time you trudge through the sand that grows ever wetter by the second as the skies open even more. What was soft rain starts to pound down and run in rivlets down your face, soaking everything it touches. It drips from the tip of your nose and snakes its way down the neck of your top. Soon shivers set in so you wrap your arms around your torso to conserve heat. After five minutes the shapes in the distances have grown exponentially, you could make out their faces. It helped that they were moving towards you, probably heading to the cabin to seek sanctuary from the deluge. You stop moving since he’s coming towards you, not wanting to waste energy. A strong wind blows in off the sea and whips your hair around your face in a tangle of wet matts. Desperately you try to pull it off your damp skin and become increasingly frustrated. The frustration builds until it pushes you over the edge. It forces you to march up to the group, closing the last few metres. Paul stands in the middle, the smile that had etched his features dispurses as he registers your emotions. In hindsight this next move probably wasn’t the best decision, but you’re cold, soaked and quite frankly, fed up. Planting your feet into the sand you muster all the strength you can before shoving Paul in the chest. To say it catches him off guard is an understatement. It was so unpredictable it actually knocked him back a step or two. If he’d landed flat on his arse you’d have been happier but you think your point got across, loud and clear. To be extra sure, you allow yourself to shove him again, this time though he doesn’t budge. His hands shoot out to grab yours, stabilising your body, stopping any further movement to attack him.
“What the hell were you thinking?” you shouted through gritted chattering teeth, rain flying as your hot breath steams against the cold air. Paul’s breaths come in ragged sharp inhalations as he tries to remain calm. He releases the pressure on your wrists but doesn’t let go. “Let go of me,” you try to wriggle free from his restraints.
“What’s wrong with me?” he questions in response to the outburst, “What’s wrong with you?”. It wasn’t meant to sound harsh and judgemental, he really was concerned about you and whatever had caused this, but you took it the wrong way.
“You have no right, none whatsoever.” You hurl at him without actually knowing the full extent of the events. “Stay away from me.” This time he allows you to pull free from his grip, the force of which sends you stumbling. Quicker than what felt humanly possible he grabs your waist to stop you from falling. “Get off me!” Your voice grates hoarsely through your throat, as you give him one final shove. His silence irritates you, but perhaps it’s for the best. Walking away would be so much easier. Turning away from him sends pangs of guilt and hurt through your chest, as if you were physically tearing yourself apart. The feeling soon dissipates as he breaks silence.
“We’re not done here.” His voice bounces off the air sending waves of electricity over your skin. The hairs on your arm raise in response and the air in your lungs catches. It’s a tone of dominance hinting at a silent command to stay. Immediately you stop in your tracks. You should feel even more irate but the anger has been replaced by intrigue. Butterflies once again swarm your tummy as you bite back the lump in your throat. It’s the biggest betrayal, your heart beating your mind in this tug-of-war. Turning on your heel you catch the briefest of glances between the other guys as if they were sharing a silent conversation. Without giving you or Paul another glance they all carry on, their voices trail off into the distance but can be heard laughing and joking around for sometime. He waits, with the rain battering down on you both, until they’re out of earshot to speak again. You hadn’t noticed until now that he was once again shirtless, the rain running in perfect streams over his carved muscles. Despite the weather, heat rushes to your cheeks flushing them a pale pink colour as all kinds of thoughts sweep over your mind. You have to force yourself to look him in the eye to concentrate on the matter at hand. You see his mouth moving but struggle to hear the words over the sound of the rising winds. Forcefully you whip your head in an attempt to move hair off your face, the pressure of the wind growing stronger as it blasts you in the side. A glance at the sea reveals giant crashing waves pounding into the shoreline and despite being only the middle of the day, the sun hides behind sullen grey clouds, resembling late evening more than anything. You hug yourself as the cold really sets in, your bones feeling painful as they rattle inside.
“Come with me” you hear him this time as he shouts from beside you, his face mere inches from your ear. Having not noticed him move closer, this takes you by surprise. He looks down at you with all traces of anger removed and his features once again soft. He unhooks your hand from your side causing a gasp to release from you at the contact. The heat that radiates from him brings you back to life, you move to cling onto his arm. He wastes no time in leading you off the beach. Instead of heading to the trail that leads to the cabin he takes one that crops up sooner. You enter denser woodland following a less used pathway, neither one of you uttering a word but you’re silently thankful as the tree canopy protects you from the worst of the rain. The wind follows you, creating eerie noises as the trees groan under the pressure. Paul leads the way, his hand still enclosed over yours. You watch his back, the way the muscles contract with use. You can tell from the way his neck is tense that he's clenching, the tension between you undeniable. Thinking it was best to talk before arriving back at the cabin you try to break the silence by speaking his name. Whether it went unheard or deliberately ignored you had no clue. Silently you both march on until the trees grow thinner and a clearing starts to form. Soon you realise it was more than that; a meadow, sodden and now very much boggy, with long grasses scattered here and there. Although the rain was at its thickest, you could just about make out a cabin at the far end. Unlike Emily’s this one was not lit up, making it feel cold and unloved. If it wasn’t for the fact Paul acknowledged your apprehension with a gentle reassuring hand squeeze, you may have run in the opposite direction. Squelching through the mud you soon find yourself looking up at the two story building as it grows closer. From afar it had appeared to be small in size, and despite being smaller than a house, was substantial in comparison to Emily’s. Paul wastes no time in pushing open the front door, which you noted had not been locked. Upon closer inspection you realise the door doesn’t even have a lock. You push the door shut behind you, fighting against the wind but eventually winning, and find yourself in gloom. Instinctively you reach for a lightswitch. Finding one and giving it a flick you discover it doesn’t work.
“The power lines need reconnecting,” his voice breaks through the silence of the house as he appears from a different room carrying an LED Lantern. It casts a small warm glow as he walks around the main room, turning on a few more lanterns which reveal a sparsely furnished lounge-diner. Dust sheets cover the sofas and remnants of kitchen counters cling to the far wall. Sadness fills your heart at the realisation of what you see.
“Do you-” you bite back the lump that rises in your throat. “Do you live here?” you question.
“Sometimes” He shrugs, not wanting to open up. Who can blame him, not even an hour ago you’d hurled insults and physically attacked him. “You must be freezing” he changes subject and gestures for you to follow him through to the other room. Your surprise is evident at how different this room appeared to be. From the massive king sized bed standing in the centre and the chest of drawers, you knew it was a bedroom, but the cleanliness and orderly state didn’t match with the ramshackle, almost derelict appearance of the rest of the cabin. The walls had been freshly plastered and curtains hung from the windows. The bed had been left unmade which indicated he did live here. Another lantern turns on from within another doorway which reveals a large but plain bathroom. You stand dumbfounded in the middle of the room while Paul busies himself. You hear taps turning and the rushing of water before he comes back into view.
“The water’s on and there’s a clean towel…” he trails off.
Not knowing quite what to say and sensing the tension was still hanging thick, you thank him and enter the bathroom. Annoyingly you find there’s no door to the bathroom, but a quick peek showed that Paul was nowhere in sight. Stripping your wet clothes off seemed okay until it came to our trousers, which decided they wanted to cling to you. After wrestling with them for sometime you were finally free. The shower was fitted onto a tiled wall with a drain in the concrete floor, obviously the idea was for a wet room. Gingerly you turned the shower tap and jumped back as cold water hits you. With no sign of the water heating up you pluck up the courage to submerge yourself beneath it, managing to hold back the shriek that desperately tried clawing its way out. At least you could wash off the rain, somehow you always felt like rain was sticky. Soon you were exiting the cold water stream and wrapping a towel around your goosebump covered body. You quickly dried hoping that would warm you, but it didn’t.
Oh.
It dawned on you that your clothes were soaking and wouldn’t easily go back on. Securing the towel tightly around your body you peer into the bedroom again not knowing what to do. Lightning crashes outside, temporarily casting the room in pale blue light and causing you to jump. The shriek you’d kept at bay earlier finally makes an appearance. Thunder rumbles in the distance confirming this storm was far from done. Footsteps entering the room brings your focus back to reality, your eyes travelling to find him.
“You okay?” he eyes you worriedly.
“Lightning caught me by surprise,” your hands hold the towel with a white knuckle grip, afraid it would fall and expose everything. Sensing your awkwardness Paul diverts his gaze.
“I got you some dry clothes, they’ll be big on you but they’ll be warm.” he explains, moving over to the bed where a folded pile waits for you.
“Thank you.” It’s barely audible above the noises from outside but he manages to hear.
“Yeah well, least I could do.” he tells you nonchalantly, as if it meant nothing. He leaves you alone as he heads into the bathroom. Instantly you hear the shower and a blush creeps to your cheeks at how he obviously doesn’t care if you see anything. Not wanting to be indecent you move further into the bedroom and grab the clothes, you sift your way through them finding a long sleeve top, sweater and a pair of his underwear. You feel embarrassed as you slide your legs through the boxer shorts but know it’s better than nothing and are reassured by the thought that they probably look like regular shorts as they’re so big on you. The shower shuts off in the bathroom alerting you that soon you’d have company. Quickly you pull the top over your head followed by the sweater, which honestly was long enough to be a dress - not to mention hide the boxers! Your hair was a matted mess half covering your face, you squeeze as much water out of it using the towel before trying to run your fingers through it not wanting to look like a mess, especially when you sensed the fight from earlier would resume at some point. Feeling as though you looked half decent you sat down on the edge of the bed facing away from the bathroom towards the window. It had grown increasingly dark outside, between that and the rain you couldn’t make out much so resorted to staring at your hands in your lap.
Feet pad across the room behind you followed by the sound of drawers opening. For all you know he could be completely naked but you give in to temptation and glance. Your cheeks flush again as you take in the sight of Paul in nothing but boxers, an identical pair to those you have on. Feeling bad, you avert your eyes but not before he registered your gaze on his back and the change in your mood which floods his senses. As much as he’d kill to entertain the thoughts presently burrowing into your brain, he can’t ignore what happened earlier. Your words had stung. He leans back on the drawers, hands gripping the surface. He studies you for a second, watches as you bring your legs up towards your chest and plant your feet precariously on the bed frame. Protectively your arms wrap around your legs. He knows how vulnerable you feel right now so decides to take a gentle approach.
“Talk to me” he prompts, trying to coax out of you what had happened.
“Or you tell me” you throw back, sounding rather childish. Your chin comes to rest on your knees in defeat. You take a deep breath in, Paul’s scent overwhelms you as it lingers on the clothes, and you decide being angry is exhausting. “Tell me why I lost my job.” You mumble.
“Son of a bitch” you hear him sigh. Turning your head slightly, you see him rub his eyes in frustration. “I can’t believe…” Your eyes bore into him and in response his grip on the furniture tightens. There's a sound of creaking wood, aside from that of the wind on the building, your eyes widen in shock at the realisation. You jump up and find yourself walking towards him with your gaze fixated on his hand. He releases it as you grab his fingers, pulling them towards you for closer inspection.
“What the hell… how?” you look at the wooden drawers and sure enough there’s a split running along the top. Surely his hand would be hurting. “I don’t understand-”
“Your boss needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.” If you were anyone else he’d have snatched his hand away, but he liked the softness of your skin on his. More importantly he liked your concern for him. He hadn’t exactly believed you wanted him to stay away but your words had caused a wound, which did seem to be healing itself in your presence. Despite wanting to know what had happened to your job, you didn't press for information. It appeared Paul was more than willing to share, perhaps it was the calming feeling you were flooding his senses with or the fact that your touch was bringing down his tough exterior, but right now he couldn’t refuse you anything.
“He was going around saying you couldn’t handle your drink, that underage drinking should be punished and some bullshit about you getting off because of your stepfather.” The words start tumbling from his mouth as he becomes distracted with the hand on his. He flips the roles, taking yours in his gigantic palm, tracing circles over the back with his thumb. He won’t look you in the eyes as he continues. “Told him to mind his business, that he had no clue what was going on but he didn’t like that. He never really liked me but especially not after I punched him.”
“You what?” your mouth drops, “No wonder I’m fired!” Your voice rises as you realise this will get back to Frank and it sure as hell will look like it was done on your behalf. A groan escapes your lips.
“He deserved it, that’s all you need to know.”
“All I need to know?” you scoff, “Don’t presume to know what I do or don’t need to know” you try to scold but it comes across too gently.
“Trust me,” he finally looks you in the eye, not once breaking the hand contact. “Don’t make me repeat some of the awful things that the bastard said '' his jaw clenched tightly whilst his eyes dilated, filling you with sadness. He’s hurting just as much as you and although you’re more than capable of handling your own battles, he doesn’t know that. “I feel very protective of you” he says softly, as if reading the thoughts you were having. His eyes are trained on your face, trying to read how you had taken that information but all of a sudden you have the best poker face anyone has ever had. For the first time, Paul couldn’t read the situation and it frustrated him to no end.
You close off the last few inches that had separated you from each other. His grip on your hand tightens as he feels your body against his and the change in your scent, which suddenly gives your intentions away. You reach up on tiptoes in order to level the playing field, if Paul hadn’t been leaning on the drawers he’d be towering above you. Gingerly you bring your face to his, your breath hitching as excitement courses through you. You don’t hesitate too long, afraid the nerves will get the best of you. Quickly you place a chaste kiss upon his lips before retreating. You look up at him before bursting into laughter and bury your head in his chest.
“Sorry, that was meant to be so much more but I… I’ve never… I don’t know… I just wanted that not to be lame and it so was…” you mumble against his chest, trying to hide the embarrassment you feel. The laughter had surprised him, temporarily making him think he’d missed the punchline of a joke, or that perhaps he was the joke. Within seconds it dawned on him and he finally understood. He knew you were different to any of the other girls he’d been with, the biggest of those differences being that you two were destined for each other; his mate, his imprint. The other, less noticeable, difference was in your scent. An undertone that was delicate yet addictive, which had been driving him crazy trying to work out. Finally he understands. It may have gone unspoken but you know he’s worked it out from the way he delicately holds you and pushes the hair from your face to how he lowers his face to the crook of your neck and takes a deep breath in.
“It’s okay,” He whispers reassuringly, “There’s nothing to be sorry about.” The effect of his breath hitting your neck drives you crazy. Tingles traverse your spine and it takes every ounce of control not to let your knees buckle. Your fingers grip his thumb tightly in an attempt to keep you grounded but it doesn’t work. Short rapid breaths leave your mouth as you turn your face to his, causing his heart to thump in his chest as he tries to remain still. He gives in a little, moving just enough to allow him to see into your eyes. Your nose brushes his chin as you move up once more to tip toes, your hand which was free comes to rest on his abdomen for extra support. You become aware that his hand is on your hips to keep you flush to him, so that you can feel his rock hard muscles and the way they move. You only break eye contact briefly as you glance at his lips. You know he’s watching every move intently but this time it doesn’t bother you, doesn’t make you nervous or shy. Instead it boosts you, knowing he wants this just as much by the way you can feel the pound of his heart. You make the connection, your soft lips meeting his with the lightest of touches. It quickly deepens as you grow used to the feeling of Paul against you, leaving you craving more of him. Your mouth moves against his as your hand travels to his neck releasing his thumb, allowing him the use of that hand to steady you as you reach up higher on your toes. The grip on your waist tightens as pressure hits your hip bone which encourages you as it sends electricity raging through the nerves. If it wasn’t for your ribs, your heart may have broken free of your body due to the pace it was currently keeping. A pain enters your lungs as if they were on fire causing you to break the kiss. You suck air in greedily as you remember how vital it was for survival.
“Don’t forget to breathe” he whispers, also breathless. Briefly he touches his forehead to yours as you sink back down onto your feet, fighting the lightheadedness. It doesn’t take long for his face to refind the crook of your neck and place a kiss on your collar bone. Behind his neck your fingers lace into his hair as he places kisses along your jaw before finding your lips once more. You're ready for his assault and welcome it as you suck in his lower lip, instincts taking over completely as your fingers grip tightly in his hair, eliciting a soft moan from him that resonates through you. His hands release themselves from your waist and find the hemline of the jumper on your thigh, his fingers graze over your skin and leave goosebumps in their wake as they travel higher. You move your thighs tighter together upon instinct, as pressure builds, but also as a silent warning for him to leave there well alone. Paul, being a decent guy, had other ideas anyway, his hands roamed further than your thighs and came to reside on your back, the skin on skin contact sending more shivers up your spine and a gasp from your mouth. His mouth once again travels back to the crook of your neck. Here your scent is sweetest and he can feel the beat of your pulse travelling your jugular. He smiles against your skin as he revels in the idea that he caused this effect on you. You hadn’t noticed the slight graze on your skin from stubble earlier but now, as you're left anticipating his next move, you’re aware of everything. His breath is hot and heavy like yours but perhaps better regulated and you can’t help but wonder why he’s smiling, all thoughts are soon banished as he plants a kiss, the graze of stubble making your eyes flutter at the sensation. You whisper his name and in response his hand moves to your waist, letting cold air touch your skin as the movement stirs the jumper. It all adds to the pleasure. You want his hands to travel further up, to feel his touch on your breasts, but he’s holding back. Instead he starts littering more kisses along your neck before sighing.
Oh god. Why’s he sighing? What’s wrong? You start questioning everything, getting inside your own head.
“Why did I give you a jumper?” He lets out a little chuckle as he leaves a kiss by the neckline of the fabric, unable to go any further. You respond with an involuntary whine at the thought of not feeling his mouth continuing it’s decent. Hearing the noise escape your lips stirs something in Paul that makes him grip your hips so tight it makes you gasp, which doesn’t help his control in this moment. He forces himself to go slowly as he once again goes back to that sweet spot, fueled by primal instinct. You’re his and he wants everyone to know it. He places one final gentle kiss before attaching his lips in a suction over your soft skin. To his delight you let out a moan as he continues to suck at the spot. After a minute he gives up his position and leans away from you, taking in your appearance. You're staring up at him with big doey eyes and lips swollen and parted. His hands slide out from the jumper and move to the neckline, pulling the material aside for optimal viewing. A wicked smile dances across his lips before his hands move to find yours and hold them, giving them a squeeze as a blush creeps onto your features.
“You okay?” He asks, bringing one of your hands to his lips and placing a kiss on top. As you come back to reality the events flood back in and you start to over analyse, wondering how stupid you must have sounded moaning or if you did anything incorrectly. “Hey,” he snaps you away from your thoughts “Stop” he whispers and places a kiss on your forehead before asking “Do you overthink everything?” You feel his mouth move into a smile as he teases you.
“Yes” you say through a shaky breath, not yet fully recovered. You swallow to regain yourself “something you’ll have to get used to” you try to match his joky tone but he manages to turn it serious once more.
“I look forward to it.”
---
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I was at first in love with totk, and I still think mechanical wise, its quite impressive
And when I collected all the tears and saw the "story" I genuinely got upset in a good way (at first), because man! Did they really got the balls to go that far? Is there nothing I can do for her? Now I MUST do all the temples, see how it plays out and --oh, I've got this cutscene already. Why are all the people so dumb about Zelda, I KNOW where she is, Link say something-- Link??
After finishing all the temples and almost falling asleep, I stopped playing the game, looked up the last boss and remaining cutscenes and went "Thats it?"
Watching other people (including you) being critically about so many things, both character and mechanical wise, I've almost startled myself with a realization what the gnawing feeling I constantly had, actually was.
Totk feels like a fanfic.
And don't get me wrong, I love fanfiction, I think its great and important, I adore fanfic writers, I love finding gems, I love reading self indulgent stories, see new spins and interpretation of characters. I love the casual, the passion, the creativity!
But totk gives me the same feeling everytime I am reminded that Fifty Shades is a Twillight fanfic.
The world is there. The faces I know and grew to love are there. But everything is ever so slightly different, uncannily so. Just how some characters talk, how they act, how they were placed in the story. The Zonai appearing out of nowhere, but no, they always had been there you see, they were these super magical advanced people but they all died, the king is so tragic. And you see, the king is super cool and powerful and-- oh I dont get to interact with him outside of the tutorial. Did they try to do another King Rhoam-- but wait, that only worked because we didn't knew he was a ghost-- totk wait stop why do you take him out of the story, why couldn't he be a companion, he IS ABLE TO TALK THROUGH THE ARM LET THE OLD GOAT COMMENT ON STUFF?? If you bring up all this ancient stuff and you still got a ghost lingering, let him talk?? (I never ended up getting Mineru but I smell wasted potential as well)
Im not even mad, I am disappointed. It feels like the devs saw what all the lore hunters got attached to and talked about and then just... took the "cool". All the Zonai stuff could've easily been Sheikah tech, but got just reskinned to look more exciting instead of being its own thing.
Like... at this point I prefer what fans are doing over what Totk gave us. The characterization of Rauru (and everything Zonai), projects like you do of what totk couldve been, the little nuggets of actual highlights and details of love fans find in the game. I found much more enjoyment in these concepts than I got from a 70bucks game. And thats depressing.
I love fanfiction. I dont love it when my corporate 70 dollar, six year development, console exclusive game feels like a story that passionate fan couldve written miles better in a week (and I've already seen much cooler and interesting rewrites and ideas).
Zelda has been a huge part of my childhood and its depressing seeing it treated like that. It always was about the story, the epic, its The Legend of Zelda for crying out loud. To be courageous to enter a dungeon, to be wise and solve all the riddles. To become powerful over the journey you embarked on. Zelda to me is the campfire story you tell to others and go into the woods or the beach and imagine what monsters you would slay. Zelda is not the sandcastle you build in the sandbox and then add dinosaurs and star wars ships because you didn't had any other toys, and just stumble into and over some story to entertain yourself until lunch is ready.
I'd have an oracle of seasons over another totk any day at this point. They should've just make the mechanics of totk its own thing, but I guess they were scared it wouldn't sell if it doesn't have a Mario or Zelda skin straped over it.
Anyways, sorry for the mini rant - love your art, love your thoughts and insights, and I am looking forward to see more of it - Zelda related or not (your original characters look amazing, I adore your style sm)
Hope you have a great rest of the day!
*nods along through this entire rant*
idk how many of my rants you have read but yeah ... yeah ... and the further you think about it the further it all falls apart, the wasted potential of it all and the goddamn audacity of them to do those interviews in which they make it EVEN WORSE is just
i know the expectation for a direct sequel to botw was huge and understandbly so but i really REALLY think it would not have been that hard to make it a good follow up even taking into account that totk was originally a DLC, pretty much all of botws aspects could have been developed further, i dont know what could have happened to make totk have turned out like this .. literally it feels like something had to have gone wrong, its like someone who doesnt know zelda nor botw at all was given a few prompts and then just made some generic fantasy story while the rest worked on ultrahand for 5 years
the technical impressive things ARE technical impressive, but i dont think it was necessary nor served the game well in any way (and i LOVE building games- however totk is neither a building game nor a story game nor a zelda game nor an exploration game nor a sequel imo) but zelda, this zelda, is not made for that and i cant help but think it was mainly to encourage people to make some ridiculous mechs so it can go viral on tiktok (not trying to discredit them, it IS cool what they are doing but i .... have my doubts if zelda is the right place for that)
ill stop there bc i have ranted so much about everything i dont wanna repeat it here again; it just doesnt feel like a real game (derogatory), it feels extra bad bc i was not really into zelda when botw came out and while i did get it as soon as i could (months after release since i just started a minijob and didnt have the money) i only over time grew to love zelda this much again, devouring any theories and anything about it bc i loved it so much- i was never into it like this when a new title was announced and dont own any special editions so i bought the totk collectors bc i was just so damn excited for it after the 2019 trailer dropped (god i want that time back ... it looked so much more like it was going to be an actual sequel) even if i was already worried it wouldnt be good at that point given how much i started to sense stuff i dont like about the newer trailers
i recently sold it at our local gameshop bc it was like a thorn in my side given how expensive it was and how dissapointed i was in the game, i genuinely think that, technical impressiveness aside, totk is the onyl zelda i truly cannot stand (for alot of reasons) and im genuinely worried for the future of the franchise
i bought an Oki (Okami) figurine for what i got back and i feel much happier with that :3
(also on a note, i did finish the game two weeks after release but stopped playing it right then and hadnt touched it since, i also streamed all of what i played and its still up if you want to see my slow descend into madness fjkdhkdhjk
though its been a long while since then and i by far did not talk about everything back then, just what my most immediate frustrations were while still playing)
(also the gameplay isnt as good as people make it out to be, so much is so frustrating and punishing to use i am kinda baffled it got through like that and most people call that its best aspect ..... though i guess if the rest is so much worse even mid gameplay can seem good ooooooooh how dare i)
also thank you for liking what i do!!! <3 it means alot to know it is appreciated by someone :D
#ganondoodles answers#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#in my playthorugh i genuinely tried to be super open to what its offering me#but i think its pretty clear that i could see were it was going pretty soon and tried to fight my fear#and then i ended up being right#like i even went out of my way to get the memories and dungeons in turns so i wouldnt spoil anything#and still you can see me get sadder and dissappointed with each new memory i got#and the time it truly all started to crumble was when i discovered what they did to the shrine of life#pretty sure after i got all the lightroots and all i got was a you did it sticker i jsut gave up and went to the end#and after that i found the endfight fun so i played it a few more times#but the last few streams were mostly me ranting jkdfngvkjdfnhgjkdf#for this price its pretty bad#idk why so many people are okay with this tbh#zelda fans deserve better#i think the wasted potential and insulting treatment of both lore - botw and even the player is what frustrates me so much#sidenote i love the username bc there sure are words#alot of them even#(good)#i have done so much ranting it feels good to read someone elses rant about similar frustrations
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My thoughts on Spy x Family Chapter 83
Needless to say, my folks, huge manga spoilers ahead 🌹
Oh, boy, I was totally wrong! He he, but also, I got some things right!
No more guns, thanks, Lord! What was this wait? I was anxious, trying to keep my head off the upcoming update, and It was successful, I relaxed a little bit and BOOM, Sunday came, and I didn't even realize It was chapter's day, until I saw the notification on my smartphone and read it all in 10 seconds (have I mentioned I'm diagnosed with anxiety? No? Okay, yeah).
Now I'm trying to analyze a little bit of this week's chapter with you all while trying to stay sane till the next one, may Endo help us! So, I got a few hypotheses right! Actually, I believe only one 🤣
No revelations yet!
Which is something I'm really grateful for, even though we can not be sure if it will happen in the next chapters, I truly believe it won't. I feel like it's not the moment, the manga is at its peak (so is the anime) gaining a huge amount of notoriety and I don't Believe Endo would rush things, not right now. So I'm glad, I really feel revelations will make the story take a huge turn that we are not quite ready for it. There's so much to happen yet! What is the Garden? Which side is the organization it? What about Westalis? We know nothing. Spy x Family is a huge slow burn, and I'm all in for it.
CAN SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE? OH, WAIT, NO, NEVERMI-
Twillight is the one hurt, I'm surprised, truly. Yuri is quite a soldier, however, the hesitation present there was bigger than Twilight's ability, reflex and advantage (since he was the one pointing the gun first). My heart truly hurts for seeing him injured, I can't even explain. We've grown fond of our Spy, and It's not a nice feeling. At all
I know, I know he will be fine, he can't die or anything (haha, can he?😨) But still, it is making my heart hurts. In need for those "Yor takes care of Loid's wounds" fanfictions, please? Moving on.
See? Our Twilight is a smart guy. He senses his wavering. He knows it is there, but he doesn't understand why. He can't figure that by hurting (or killing) Yuri, he would deeply hurt Yor, and he would not do that. His unconscious is pretty clearly messing up with his conscious mind and decision-making. I doubt he will bring that up to the Handler, but it's possible, since they know each other very well. My guess is that Sylvia will just know. He won't even say a word and she will know.
Yeah, Yuri boy, I would totally be creeped out as well. His ability is outstanding and scary, even.
See? This guy had this major hypothesis (which is right?) figured in like, 5 seconds? He is so bright, Yor is proud as floof as she should. Yes, Yuri, he is someone close to you, someone observing you.
"But that doesn't matter now!" It will surely matter once you find out, but my guess is that he will keep that insight for himself, trying to figure it out on his own, but who knows? It will certainly be on his head, constantly.
Yuri's hair, I'm like 🤣 Our poor boy. Yes, Yuri, Twilight is tough, but so are you! What am I even saying? I don't have a side in this (kinda do). I want both of them not to be involved, never again fighting, for my heart's sake. They are both precious babies I want to keep them protected, but It's not up to us, right, Endo? Humpf...
Oh, well. GOOD THING he will live, Twilight, thank you for your unintentional totally intentional mercy.
I'm
Not okay. Look at his expression. I'm dying. I'm out of breath. Why is Endo like this? I mean, we are in a serious as floof situation, with conflict going on and you drew what? An expression like that which made me burst out laughing at 3 a.m? Dude.
He is a tough boy, I must admit.
Those expressions are killing me. And the worse, I don't know which one is which. That kick must have decreased the chances of a large family lineage for one of them, for sure 🍒 If you know what I mean.
Yuri on his fight mode is scary (not as much, but it is), just like his sister. I believe one of Endo's objectives is to make us scared of the Briar's brothers and damn, boy, yeah. I don't like that "I will kill everything on my way" expression.
This was such on point. I loved it, I mean, his floofing daughter is being raised by Yor, so I would consider it a huge plus. Besides, he is thinking of her consciously right now. It's not his unconscious, unknown feelings and thoughts. He is rationalizing and that's major.
Yeah, that resilience is not even NORMAL anymore. Mama Yor, can you pick me up? I'm scared 😨
Oh, well, okay, that's expected. Poor Yuri is going to be so hurt after this. I'm wondering if Yor will know about his or Twilight's injuries, she is not as bright as his brother, but she can think about it later, can't she? I wonder If Yuri will visit her while recovering. The tension in the air if Loid is also on this meeting. Damn. This was so much better than a revelation or a simply hurt Twilight. This growing tension makes things so much better (and torturing).
He is such a good brother.
And this expression right here is a Twilight on Twilight Conflicted Mode. Yeah, I just made that up, but he is clearly conflicted, may be in pain and not getting understanding a single thought coming from his mind. Only focused on getting out of there, leaving that behind.
Okay, from this part on I understood ✨ nothing ✨
My reasoning is not that nice and I should be sleeping right now, but I can't due to anxiety, so bear with me, please.
Yes, it did! WISE is the best, haha, wha-
Okay, she is also incredible smart, yada yada, I don't want to write about Fiona. Let's move on!
Damn, folks. Theories? My brain is jello. I can't even function due to the last of sleep, but here I am. Make sure to talk to me in the comments, I really appreciate it. Sorry for any misspelling or typos. Be sure to leave a beautiful kudo and talk to me about what you think will happen next!
I'm certainly less nervous about it, our last chapter was very open to where this one would go, and I'm glad of two things, mainly
No time skip! It started right where it was left.
Our boys are fine! Yuri will be fine. Thank you, Endo!
I miss our girls so much, and Bond boy! 😭
#PleaseEndo#GiveUsSomeHappyStuff#Chapter 83#Spy x Family#Yor#Twilight#Loid#Anya#Yor Forger#Bond Forger#Loid Forger#Anya Forger#LoidYor#TwiYor#SxF#Tatsuya Endo#Manga#Chapter Analysis#Loid and Yor#Loid x Yor#SxF Yor#SxF Twilight#SSS#WISE#The Garden#Shopkeeper#Ostania#Wheeler#The Mole
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are yuo twillight fan?
first fanfiction i ever read was twilight i know about these vampires
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What are Tales of the Valkyrs & Doomsday Ascending?
Alright, so Doomsday Ascending is basically a reply fic to this other fic called Fall of Equestria.
Fall of Equestria is basically a dark edge fic where Equestria is taken over by patriarchal Caribou.
It features characters from Tales of the Valkyrs, with this fic also being the first appearance of Ascentia. A character who is apparently 900,000,000 years old and married to twillight. That relationship then carries over to Stockholm.
Tales of the Valkyr is a family guy fanfiction, where Lily's OC, Ryder, (who get's carried over to Tales of the Valkyr along with Meg and their daughter) romances Meg griffin, fights and kills god and also has Sith force powers.
Also includes Jaina, there daughter, apparently turning Stewie, her uncle, straight, and the two have a romance, if I remember correctly.
If you want details, here's a wiki for Tales of the valkyr:
You can also find links to the stories in the fan pack.
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ah gotcha. i wasn't around during the twillight days (because i was a child lol) i was going of knowledge fanfiction.net didn't allow explicit fanfiction back in the day? and in general fanfiction was a lot more niche even 10 years ago. but now with the rise of ao3 and social media that has changed a lot. i also wasn't specifically thinking of romance readers more so readers in general. i feel like if you're just starting out you're gonna go to with the most popular mainstream stuff, what you see people talking about online or what's in your local bookstore or library. i think for somebody who doesn't know how to find something that cateres to them and is good, it's gonna take them a while to get to indie or self published. and logging into ao3 is really easy in comparison. but this could just be me.
It may not have officially allowed it, but it definitely existed, and you could get around censors with coded words in summaries, etc. Plus, people passed it around on social media in general. Livejournal is apparently a Russian propaganda machine these days (I mean, so I read lol) but people used to do some truly depraved fic on there.
And I think back in the day, there was a barrier to indie, but that barrier is basically gone now for romance readers. Sure, some may start with trad--but then, like, my friend who's just started reading Tessa Bailey got into her backlist and was reading Tessa's indies within a month. A lot of big name romance authors are hybrid, or at least self-publish novellas and short stories. Or, they aren't indie, but their pen name is--you love Joanna Shupe, a quick google can now tell you she's also Mila Finelli, you get into those books, and you're off. Authors recommend indie books on their newsletters, Amazon pushes indie books on romance readers.
While I think fanfiction is a lot more accessible than it used to be, there are still a lot of people who aren't reading fic (like moi as of these days lol) so why would, say, my friend who literally had no idea what fic was until I told her, read fic when she could get everything she wants through KU? Sure, fic is free--but she doesn't care about Star Wars, or like. Most fandom things.
And the thing is? Even the edgier~ indie books are getting reeeeally mainstream these days. I've seen Haunting Adeline picked for multiple book clubs lol. My friend recently asked me if I'd ever read this indie about women literally being trafficked by the hero... and this is from a woman who's barely online and started reading romance like six months ago.
While I do think people like her are usually starting with mainstream books, I also think the pipeline from mainstream to indie is way shorter than it used to be. Especially when publishers like Sourcebooks make it easier for authors to drop hard copies of their indie books, while maintaining digital rights. See: Sierra Simone.)
#romance novel blogging#i keep bringing up sierra bc i think the way in which she's become so mainstream is a great example#also: i want everyone to read sierra simone
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Caius Volturi w/ His Mate Mood Board
KING!, this was so fun to create, who doesn't wish to be Caius mate. You would literally be a queen and he is your King. I like to think that the Volturi would host balls, like real ones where you get to ware big fluffy dresses and dance the night away like from a fairytale.
#caius volturi#caius x reader#the volturi#twilight fanfiction#twilight saga#caius x you#caius imagine#twillight#twilight renaissance#twilight moodboard#volturi kings#volturi fanfiction#volturi x reader#volturi imagines#twilight imagine
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Carlisle Cullen X male reader
A/n: I have officially restarted my twilight obsession and I’m seriously not happy about it, also this story handles a very sensitive topic, AIDS. As a gay man it sticks very close to home. I will of course be treating this theme with the upmost respect and sorrow for all the lives lost. AIDS is still a very real problem within our community. Let’s work to dismantle the stigma around aids so no more lives will be lost. Stay safe xoxo
Warning: mentions and themes around aids, scar from assault
The year was 1981 in New York, the city was busing with light and people. Carlisle was working tirelessly in the hospital during the start of the AIDS crisis. AIDS had not really had an effect on the gay nightlife yet which allowed the sickness to run rampid.
Carlisle was tired and in desperate need of a drink, even though alcohol had no effect on him. He clocked out at 23:56 on a Saturday evening, putting on his coat and venturing into the New York nightlife.
The young doctor walked down a lit up street, looking around for a bar and to his luck he spotted a neon sigh outside a small pub reading “Morningstar”
The pub looked relatively empty for a Saturday night, just what Carlisle needed. A quiet place where he could enjoy his whiskey in peace.
The man walked in and went straight to the bar. The pub was damply lit with a few men playing pool and others talking at their tables. The music was muffled by the loud talking and the sound of balls smacking together on the pool table. Carlisle sat down by the bar and looked around, taking in the scenery. The bar was filled with only men which confused him a bit, but he didn’t think anything of it and ordered his drink.
“One gin and tonic please”
Carlisle looked to his left to see the young man who had ordered the drink. He was young with (skin color) skin, (hair color) hair and a handsome face. The young man felt Carlisles gaze on him and turned his head, smiling bright.
“Hi, I’m (Y/N) (L/N)” the man extended his hand which Carlisle took and shook, introducing himself.
“Carlisle Cullen, a pleasure”
“Carlisle Cullen? What a beautiful name, sir”
“Same with yours, so what brings such a young man into town?”
“Just trying to get to know some new people, maybe make some good connections”
The bartender sat down his drink in front of (Y/N)
“That’ll be 2,99 sir”
“Don’t worry, I’ll get it” Carlisle put 10 dollars on the table before (Y/N) even could get his hand down his pocket.
“Well that’s awfully kind of you, dr Cullen” he said gesturing down to the hospital id batch Carlisle was still wearing.
“Please, call me Carlisle” he said while putting the batch away in his pocket.
“Great, well Carlisle, what is a doctor like you doing in this lousy gay bar this late in the night?”
And that’s when it clicked, of course this was a gay bar. That would explain why there were only men at the bar and the stubble rainbow decor scattered around here and there.
“O-oh, I was just in need of a drink after a hard day at work.
“And you didn’t know this was a gay bar?”
“Pardon?”
“I don’t know, you just don’t seem like the kinda guy who goes to gay bars a lot..”
“Oh I don’t, I don’t go to bars often actually”
“I can feel that”
(Y/N) took a sip of his drink, he was very attracted to the sweet doctor but was still trying to figure out if he was even gay.
The conversation was going smoothly, they were talking about heaven, hell and everything in between. While talking (Y/N) rolled up his sleeves, exposing a pretty bad scar on his right arm, peaking Carlisles intrest.
“(Y/N) if you don’t mind me asking, how did you get that scar?”
“Oh this bad boy here? Got attacked at the last pride riot by a group of men, yeah they messed me up pretty good but I got away with only this scar and a broken rib. But hey! Gotta fight for our rights y’know”
“You’re very brave”
“Thanks Carlisle... can I ask you something?”
“Of course”
“Are you gay?”
Carlisle swallowed a lump... was he? He was clearly attracted to the young man, but he knew he also liked women..
“I would classify myself as... questioning and ready to experiment”
“Have you ever kissed a man before?”
“No”
“Would you like to?”
Carlisle thought for a split second before placing a hand on the other mans thigh, them both leaning in until their lips met. (Y/N)’s hands moved up and around Carlisle’s neck, playing with the end bit of his hair. The kiss turning into a make out.
Carlisle was the first to pull away. He couldn’t. If he continued he would ravish the young man.
(Y/N)’s hand reached Carlisle’s cheek, looking into his deep yellow eyes.
“You have such beautiful eyes” The doctor smiled softly at the compliment, taking the young mans hand away from his face and holding it in his.
“You’re gorgeous and a very good kisser, but I can’t go through with this for... personal reasons”
“I understand, it’s all very new to you and I won’t force you to do anything, Carlisle”
Carlisle smiled and finished his drink, putting on his jacket.
“If you ever wanna find me again, Carlisle Cullen... you know where”
“I do” he leaned down and gave the young man a peak on the cheek before walking out the door.
(Y/N) sighed, ordering another drink.
“Who was that, huh?”
“A friend...”
Carlisle sneaked a glance in from the outside, seeing a man buying (Y/N) drinks and flirting up a storm, the young man looking less and less interested. This awoke an uneasy feeling in Carlisle, but he just brushed it off and went home.
Carlisle was doing his normal routine checks on the hospital ward when a nurse came up to him. AIDS was wreaking havoc on New York and all its citizens.
“Dr. Cullen, we have another one”
“Take me to him please”
Carlisle entered the aids ward, passing many skinny and sick men, heading towards room 365.
Upon entering the room he heard yelling from a man and a woman before getting shoved out of the way by an older couple who stormed out of the room.
He walked further into the room, seeing a young man in a hospital bed, tears were streaming down his face as he kept his gaze out of the window.
Carlisle got handed the file of the patient.
Name: (Y/N) (L/N)
Age: 23
Diagnosis: HIV/AIDS
Carlisle felt his heart drop as he read the name. This was the man he kissed a few months ago. He cleared his throat, getting the young mans attention. Shock washed over his face before falling into a peaceful but sad smile.
“Hi Carlisle”
“Hi (Y/N)... nurse will you please excuse us”
She nodded and headed out of the room, closing the door behind her.
“Wow, this is a lot sadder then what i had hoped our next meeting would be like”
“Yeah me too... how are you feeling?”
“Shit.....Carlisle i know I’m gonna die... you don’t need to try and hide it...”
Carlisle walked over to the side of the bed.
“For how long have you been like this?
“I don’t know... could be month could be years”
“Who was the couple?”
“My parents... not happy about me being gay”
“That’s awful, they should love you no matter what”
“Well I’m used to people leaving...”
Carlisle almost couldn’t bare looking at him like that, clearly in pain. He felt a hand on his as he held the other mans hand tight.
“I’ve been thinking about you at lot, y’know...”
“I’m sorry I haven’t come to the bar to see you.. I-“
“You’ve been busy, you’re a doctor for Christ sake.. you don’t have time for a little ole fling like me..”
“No it’s not that...”
“It’s fine, you don’t have to explain yourself..”
“I’m gonna get you out of here, healthy and alive”
“Don’t bother, Carlisle... I’ve accepted my faith.. nothing waits for me on the outside anyways. My parents disowned me.. the guy I’ve been seeing left me.. I lost my job after being outed... I’m at peace with it”
If Carlisle had tears he would be bawling his eyes out by now...
“I don’t wanna lose you..”
“I don’t wanna lose you either”
“Maybe we’ll meet in the next life...”
“We certainly will..”
“Now scram, doctor. It’s been an eventful day and I would like some sleep” (Y/N)’s smile melted Carlisle’s cold heart as he stood up, giving the man a peak on the cheek before leaving him be... Carlisle knew what has to be done.
Later that evening he walked into (Y/N)’s room who was fast asleep. Carlisle looked at the young man, he smiled before bending down and biting his neck, he held a hand over the mans mouth, keeping him from screaming.
Carlisle pulled back, biting his hand. A tearless sob escaped his mouth as he looked at the now passed out man.
“I’ll never leave you, I promise”
A/N: oh dear god, that was hard to write.. don’t mind me, just gonna go cry
#gay fanfic#gay fanfiction#male reader#x male reader#carlisle cullen#carlisle cullen x reader#Carlisle Cullen x male reader#carlisle Cullen x male reader#gay twillight#twillight x male reader#twillight x reader#twillight#angst#mlm fanfic#mlm angst
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8. Torn
⎔ MASTERLIST ⎔ REQUESTS ⎔ TWILIGHT ⎔ BOUNDARIES ⎔
Word Count: 6.1K
Warnings: Mentions of drugs, fluff, Arguments/violence, mentions of violence,
A/N: I enjoyed writing this, seems I enjoy being destructive. Comment below if you wanna be tagged for this or any other works. Some of you who asked to be tagged for some reason aren’t showing up as accounts anymore, if you’ve changed name let me know.
Thanks for the continued support x
← Chapter 7 ▪️ Chapter 9→
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Mortified. That’s what you felt while still standing between his legs in his embrace, listening to the storm rage outside while all of a sudden there was a deep rumble that came from inside you. You winced against his chest hoping he hadn’t heard or that perhaps he would pass it off as thunder. Then it happened again, but this time it was fiercer and you’re pretty sure your entire stomach vibrated with the sheer force. If he hasn’t heard, he’ll have felt the tremor.
God. That’s so unattractive.
You feel Paul stroke hair away from your face and tuck it behind your ear. Despite appearances you’ve come to find him a gentle being, or maybe that’s because these gentiles involve you. You look at him, both studying each other as the desire to kiss him again drives you crazy. Just as you decided to make a move a third rumble sounds which brings a playful smile to his mouth.
“You’re hungry…” he rests his forehead against yours, sounding deflated.
“No, that wasn’t-” your stomach interrupts. You bite your lip to stop from laughing “okay, maybe a tiny bit” you admit, realising you hadn’t eaten all day. “Not that I’m asking, no expecting, you to feed… well I’m not starving… I can wait, it’s my fault for not-” you’re interrupted once more as he tenderly places a kiss on your lips before brushing his nose against yours.
“You’re cute” he kisses you again as his hands squeeze your waist. You lean into him, deepening the kiss. “As much as I’m enjoying this” he kisses you again “feeding you…” his lips travel along your jaw and start to descend your neck “ …my top priority…” he takes a playful nip at the love bite in the crook of your neck, making you jump at the change in contact.
“Ouchie” you jump away from him, playfully pushing his arms away.
“That’s one way to get you moving” he teases, arms returning to the furniture he’s leaning on. The muscles flex under the skin, a move you feel is utterly deliberate and meant to have you melting. You stick your tongue out as you back away, knees knocking against the bed frame forcing you to sit. You bring one leg up onto the mattress, placing the foot against the opposite thigh. Your fingers start playing with the hem of the sweater you wore as your eyes bore into him, with such intensity he could swear you were his mortal enemy, harbouring dark feelings towards him.
“What?” Your hands fly to the side, smacking the bed sheets. The corner of your mouth upturns ever so slightly despite your hardest to keep a straight face.
“I can never tell with you…” he shakes his head and walks towards you, dropping to his knees with graceful surety. Warmth spreads through your legs as his hands find a home on your thighs. He’s face to face, staring at point blank range into your eyes “...I should always be able to, but it comes and goes…” You strain to hear his whispering as he thinks aloud.
“You’re not a superhuman” you joke, your voice bringing him out from his mindful trance.
“Huh?” he questions, a stunned look across his face, as if someone had just slapped him.
“I said you’re not a superhuman!” you reiterate, noticing the twitch in the corner of his mouth as if trying to suppress a smile, ignoring it you move on “Just do what every other human does, ask questions. You know, like how are you? What’s going on…” you start listing off examples as he moves in closer again. You’re suddenly aware that he’s between your legs and your mouth feels drier than a desert. “... or um, how are you feeling?” you swallow as you lose concentration, your eyes fixated on his lips.
“And how are you?” he questions, cockiness to his tone. The grip on your thighs tightens slightly.
“How am I what?” You swallow, trying your hardest to moisten your mouth.
“Feeling.” He suggests, eyes roaming your face for an answer despite it being obvious from the pink blush of your cheeks and the change in breathing, which brings him joy to no end.
“Oh, um…” you drag your eyes away from his lips to see him studying you. The colour of your cheeks deepens as you're caught red handed, your desire evident. “I think you know…” you trail off while leaning forward into him.
“Mhmm, you’re feeling hungry.” He teases as you roll your eyes in response. Momentarily he sucks his teeth while thinking of a solution. You’d guessed there would be no food here, judging by the lack of facilities. “Okay.” He stands in one swift motion, and heads into the gloom of the main room. You follow, propping yourself against the doorframe. The air feels colder in here, your breath crossing in front of you in smokey tendrils.
“What are you doing?” you ask, bemused, as you watch him move around like a headless chicken. Surprised, you watch him produce an apple from the pocket of a discarded jacket. He pads over to you, leaving footprints in the dust covered floor, and presents the fruit to you with a wave of his hand.
“Surprised I had anything?” he chuckles, holding it up to your face.
“No, more surprised that you own a jacket since I’ve ever seen you wear a top.” You take the apple from him, a cheeky smile on your face. Nevertheless, you don’t forget your manners and give him a grateful thank you. He leans down and plants a kiss on your forehead, a gesture that's becoming increasingly welcomed by yourself, before heading towards the front door. “Where are you going?”
“Source more food” he yells over the noise of the storm.
“You can’t go out in that!” He turns to face you, hand opening the door, and gives you a cheeky wink before delving head first into the storm. Finding it hard to believe he would venture out in this weather, you gingerly make your way to the door, stepping in patches that had less dust to avoid dirtying your feet as much as possible. You greatly underestimated the force of the storm as you opened the door to peek. It flies backwards slamming into the wall, as the wind whips your wet hair around causing it to slap against your face.
“Paul?” you yell, your hand flying up to shield your eyes from the rain which pounds down, driven in by the ferocity of the storm. You jump backwards as something wraps around your leg. “What the hell!” you shriek, confusion sweeping over you. A pair of very wet shorts clings to you after having been blown in off the porch. If you weren’t mistaken, they were the shorts Paul had been wearing, but they can’t be. Why on earth would he take them off? Before getting absolutely drenched you fight the storm to close the front door and then battle the wet material of the shorts as you pull them from you. Having caught a chill from the open door you make your way back to the bedroom and decide to get under the covers after deeming them clean enough. You sit crossed legged against the headboard, the duvet pulled up under your arms as you munch on the apple utterly perplexed by the events of the day and feeling exhausted. You don’t remember falling asleep but you must have as a loud knock wakes you.
Footsteps sound in the other room as someone goes to answer the door, a second loud knock resonating through the building. You strain to hear voices, still half asleep and content to stay that way. Despite the worst of the storm passing, it was still nigh on impossible to hear much over the sound of the wind against the old house. You settle back into the comfort of the bed and pull your legs towards your chest for warmth. You’re aware of someone entering the room and are comforted by their presence. The bed dips beside you as they sit down. Gently a hand pushes hair behind your ear and you feel hot breath hit your cheek.
“Are you still hungry?” Paul’s familiar deep voice whispers, tickling your ear as he does so. With your eyes still closed you nod against the pillow, the faint pain of hunger eating away at your stomach but the desire for five more minutes of sleep fighting all else. “Embry brought the truck over, the rain is still coming down quite heavy.”
“Mhmm” you open your eyes at the mention of Embry and scan the room. To your relief he’s not in the room with you both. “I fell asleep” you inform Paul, still in a daze.
“So you did” he chuckles and you sit up and face him. “Ready?” he smiles, taking in your appearance. He can’t deny the sight of you in his bed drives him crazy especially when you look all cute and sleepy, but the need to look after you overcomes any desires that build up.
“Not really.” You look down at your attire and shiver at the sight of bare legs. Your clothes will still be soaked through so not much can be done. Paul wraps an arm around your waist and one under your legs before shifting your weight to sit on his lap. Softly he kisses your cheek.
“You look gorgeous, just saying.” he plants another kiss, this time on your lips “I’ve wanted to do that for the past hour” he admits before stealing another kiss. Satisfied he stands up still carrying you and heads for the door.
“I do have the use of my legs you know.” you point out but think better of protesting as you remember the dirty floor.
“What you don’t have is a pair of dry shoes though.” Somehow he manages to juggle carrying you and the opening and closing of the front door simultaneously. Yes he physically looked strong but you’re starting to realise that his looks were deceiving and don’t show the half of it.
The rain had stopped but the wind was stronger than ever. You wonder how this ramshackle house is still standing. You watch it as Paul carries you away, sadness filling you as you cling to him. Questions circle your brain. What is this building? Does he live here? But it's empty, I wouldn’t even call this the bare necessities… Secretly you hope that it’s some renovation flip project and that he has a warm cosy place to live, perhaps with family; a mother who likes to cook and always has food on the table, the father welcoming and making dad jokes all the time, but something about the scenario you put together doesn’t feel right for Paul. Instinctively you hold onto him tighter and you feel his grip on you tighten in response. Turning your head you spot the truck, it's battered but looks like it’ll do the job for offroading as there appears to be no tarmac in sight. A glance at the ground would show a makeshift driveway, put together with mud and gravel, but anyone would be forgiven for missing this as the weeds and long grass have completely enveloped it.
“I thought you said Embry was here?” you ask, confused as he’s nowhere to be seen as Paul opens the passengers side door. Your eyes briefly scan the surroundings but are distracted as Paul starts to strap you in, his hands brushing your bare skin. Goosebumps follow in the wake of his touch. “I can do that” you offer, taking the seat belt from his hands. His eyes briefly flicker to the goosebumps before letting you finish the job. Neither of you say anything as he shuts the door and goes around to the driver's side, pushing a pile of clothes into the middle of the bench seat so he could have more room. You take in Paul’s appearance, noticing he’s wearing a tank top and a different pair of cargo shorts from earlier. So had the pair that attached to your leg earlier been his after all?
“You okay?” he asks as he starts the engine, noticing your quietness.
“Yeah, just in a sleepy zone” you lie, the cold of the wind had made damn sure to fully wake you. Instead you were contemplating what the significance of the constant discarding of clothes could be. Were they naturalists? Surely Embry hadn’t driven here to then decide he’d prefer walking miles in the cold with no clothes?! That’s if the pile of clothes are his. You spend the drive leaning against the window, feigning tiredness, all the while trying to find a reasonable explanation for the oddities. It doesn’t take long to recognize where you are, especially when Sarah’s car comes into view. You stifle a groan as you once again look down and take in your appearance, knowing what Sarah would think with you turning up in his clothing. You realise that Paul is staring before he reaches over and touches your thigh which brings your attention to him.
“No one will care or even notice.” He calmly tells you as if able to read your mind.
“I can think of at least one person that will have something to say.” You argue, eyes straying from his as you imagine the embarrassment in store.
“Hey” he squeezes your thigh before leaning over and softly kissing your forehead. Instinctively you close your eyes and drink in his scent, savouring every moment as he moves in closer. “We can go, but Em is a good cook…” At the thought of food your stomach rumbles and all other thoughts are expelled from your mind. You let out a noise of longing as you imagine what could right now be on the dinner table, your gaze straying from the man beside you to the warm glow of the cabin in the woods.
“It wouldn’t harm just popping in, saying hello…” you suggest.
“Mhmm” he chuckles “Of course only to say hello” he mocks before exiting the vehicle to come get you from the passenger's side. The door opens and immediately the wind pushes inside, stealing any warmth that had generated in the cab. You shiver then shimmy to the edge of the seat before swinging your legs over. A pleasant shock erupts across your nerves as your knees come into contact with Paul, his warmth unbelievable in this miserable weather. “What do you think? Five or ten minutes? Is that long enough just to say hi?” he continues the joke, a playful smile tugging at his lips.
“Shut up” you insist as you pull on his shirt, catching him off guard with a kiss. He leans in to deepen it, hands planting themselves into the seat either side of you. Your tongue runs along his bottom lip causing him to break from you. You notice how deep his breathing is as he rests his forehead against yours with eyes tightly closed as if in pain. To soothe him you place a kiss on his neck just under his jaw, where you fit perfectly like part of a jigsaw; as if made for him. He sucks in a sharp breath which confuses you. “What’s wrong?” you ask, worry evident in your tone.
Paul finally opens his eyes, a smile once again playing across his features. He expels a sigh before tucking loose hairs behind your ears. “Nothing is wrong my sweet girl.” You blush at his use of the phrase my girl with a sense of elation spreading from your chest. “I’ve never been good at restraining my impulses and you’re testing each and every one of them.” He laughs but you can sense the warning that hides beneath the surface.
“Let's go say our hellos then.” You try to bring the focus back to something lighter but you can’t help from feeling curious at the mention of his so called impulses. In one motion he picks you up, gently removing you from the truck. This time you remove an arm from his neck to close the door as he walks you past to the stairs of the cabin. “Put me down on the porch please” You tell him as you reach the final step. “Let's try to draw the least amount of attention possible”. You explain.
As gently as he picked you up, he places you back on your feet, the wooden porch feeling rough underfoot. You squeeze his hand to give him a silent thanks. He reciprocates the motion before leading you to the door. The sound of twigs snapping makes you dart your gaze towards the treeline. For the briefest second you think you see eyes glowing in the gloom but they’re gone in a blink.
“Did you hear-” you start to ask, realising it was probably normal to hear that out here amongst the wildlife. Just as you move your gaze back to Paul you hear the door of the truck slam shut. Paul’s head briefly glances towards the vehicle affirming the noise in your head, but he doesn't give it more than a few seconds' attention before continuing to lead you into the cabin. It feels like he’s rushing you inside which piques your curiosity. You look through the open doorway but all you see are branches swaying on the trees from the wind. Or as if they’d been disturbed by something. And then the view is cut off as Paul closes the door. The distraction had stopped you worrying until this moment. The sound of chatter and laughter fills your ears, your back facing the crowd around the table. Paul watches as you turn to face them all and senses you relax as the group pays no attention to you both. He places his hand on your back, urging you on.
“Don’t be shy” he leans down to whisper. Familiar eyes catch yours from across the room as Sarah looks up from the table for a second, noticing how you blush as he whispers in your ear. You move in unison, holding his hand while examining the table and kitchen counters as copious amounts of food sit on serving plates. Paul grabs the last clean plate before dragging you towards the food.
“What do you want?” he asks, eyeing you from his high vantage point. You move in closer to his body, wrapping yourself around the arm you’d been holding. Hiding his true motive from the rest of the room, he leans down to kiss your head, getting close enough to whisper so only you can hear. “Someone’s gone all shy.” He wasn’t mocking, his tone was comforting, his enclosed hand rubbing circles on yours with his thumb. Unable to speak, you nod to his statement. You hear him make a hum of acknowledgment as he thinks. “Squeeze my hand if it’s something you don’t want.” He tells you as he puts the plate down to pick up a serving spoon. It really being a two handed job, it takes a while, but he doesn’t mind as keeping you comfortable is equally as important as feeding you. Feeling brave you peek behind you, relaxing in the knowledge that absolutely no one is paying attention. Ever so slightly do you loosen your grip on Paul but never do you entirely let go.
The front door slams open, startling you, as Embry walks in, pulling a T-shirt over his head at the same time. The very shirt that had been in the truck a few minutes ago. Everyone watches as he makes an ordeal of his entrance, struggling to get his head through the hole. You make a mental note that Embry is probably the comic of the group.
“Goddamn is it windy out there!” he yells as his head pokes out the top of the shirt. His foot finds the door and it once again slams as it shuts. His eyes make contact with yours, a million questions swimming in the deep depths of your irises. As you begin to purse your lips in preparation for your questioning his eyes travel to Paul. “Oh hey Paul!” he greets, “Hope you’ve left some food” an underlying tone of sarcasm laces his words before he heads across the room, avoiding your gaze. You notice another pair of eyes looking at you questioningly. Sarah glances between you and Embry and then back to Paul, a million questions also plaguing her. She takes a sip from the mug in her hand and raises an eyebrow as she comes to a conclusion, one which you’ll likely not enjoy.
Pulling you away from her glare, Paul settles against the counter with you between his legs, and finds a way to hold the plate and you in his arms simultaneously. You pick at the food but with him sharing it, you find the plate is empty before long and discarded on the counter next to you, allowing him to properly hold you in his big arms which are folded over your tummy. Nervously you trace patterns across the tanned skin of his forearms as you lose yourself to memories of the last time you’d been in this kitchen with Paul and the kiss you almost shared, which wads you to the kisses that you’ve shared this day, the echo of his lips against yours, hot with desire. A flush creeps up your neck at the thoughts as you lean your head back against his chest, eyes peering up at him. You noticed him engaged in conversation with the group, his chest shaking beneath you as he released a deep laugh. You admire the way that his eyes scrunch up as the laugh encapsulates his entire face, his smile so big and infectious you can’t help but feel happy. This is the moment, the one you’ll think back on as the moment you realised how deeply you feel for this man. Despite not knowing him for long or fully understanding how, you can no longer deny to yourself how you feel. Sensing eyes on you once again you decide an explanation is needed from you. You gently peel Paul’s arms off you and swallow the fear that now eats at you. You can sense how uncomfortable Paul becomes when you start walking across the room, how he fights the urge to follow you. It’s apparent to all as you stop behind Sarah who’s watching him intently, a burning hatred evident in her eyes as they bore into his soul. Her stare doesn’t break when you wrap your arms around her neck and lean down to hug her, nor when you whisper hello, she just responds with a curt acknowledgement.
“I think we need a chat.” You suggest, the words almost not wanting to leave your body. She nods against your hug.
“Good idea” she finally turns her head towards you, her eyes taking longer to meet yours as they linger on the object of her disdain. “Perhaps in the car later.” The thought of later and of driving away from this place is something that fills you with sadness and threatens to drive your heart into an anxious frenzy. Maybe there’s an alternative, one where you don’t have to leave, but your mother…
You withdraw from the hug, standing with your hands on Sarah’s shoulders before retracting those too. You see Paul’s jaw clench as he watches you disappear inside, back behind those walls he’s only just managed to climb. You want to go to him, reach out for the safety of the shore as you’re swept out into the depths, but the current is too strong. Desperately you want to go somewhere quiet, suddenly finding the noise of chatter deafening. Without thinking, your eyes fixate on the latecomer to the gathering, watching as he stuffs a muffin into his mouth, crumbs falling onto the T-shirt you’d only just seen him put on.
“What's the deal with the nakedness Embry?” you ask with an accusing tone. The confidence to ask comes from the need to distract yourself and the desire for answers. Embry almost chokes on his food as the faces of everyone else turn to look at the two of you, confusion and anger present on many of them apart from Paul’s which lights up in amusement.
“The what?” Sarah shoots at you, a puzzled look upon her face. “Why are you seeing him naked, I thought you and Paul-” she starts, earning a glare from you. Whatever she thought she did or did not know, you don’t appreciate the snide comment.
“No, I…We…” you stutter and shake your head “that’s not the point, the point is, why drive all the way to us to walk back naked?” you draw the subject of conversation back to Embry.
“Looks like you need to keep an eye out Paul, your girl’s sure interested in Embry’s nakedness” one of the group teases, making you feel angry at their inability to take anything seriously.
“Hey! I’m not his girl-” your voice gets lost amongst the boy’s growing jests and is only noticed by Sarah.
“Yeah, looks like I need to be careful around you” Embry flashes a grin and winks in your direction earning laughs from everyone. Sarah mutters something incoherent under her breath.
“Jared, Embry, that's enough” Sam’s scalding voice booms above the ruckus. The laughter dies away as he stands and comes over to you. “Looks like you’ll fit in around here,” he announces loudly to the whole room before lowering his pitch for your ears only “Just don’t let them bully you.” He smiles before heading to the door and leaving into the growing dark.
“I wasn’t bullying” Embry whispers to himself while sulking and eating another muffin.
“Lighten up” The one you assumed to be Jared, shoves him playfully.
“You lighten up” Embry retorts, shoving him back.
“Oh, you wanna go?” Jared stands up “Common then, outside.” He almost growls before the whole room erupts into laughter again. They both lean in, hands gripping the forearms of the other. “I’m only joking.” Jared laughs.
“Only because you know I’d take you.” Embry taunts, a shocked expression plastering Jared’s face.
“Right, you’re on boy.” Jared jumps to his feet along with Embry and they both run from the cabin. One of them pretends to howl like a wolf as they run down the porch steps and follow Sam into the darkness.
After witnessing the entire scene, a confused laugh bubbles to the surface and forces its way out as you take one of the now vacated seats. “I’ll pretend I know what just happened” you say, hysterics threatening to follow. From the look on Sarah’s face you can tell she’s just as confused as you.
“Trust me, that’s what I do” Emily starts gathering empty plates, busying herself. “I never know what's going on with these ones” she gestures towards the boys.
“Ouch!” one you've not met before, feigns hurt. “I’m Seth by the way,” he’s quieter than the rest, “It’s nice to finally meet Pauls-” he looks between the two of you trying to decide what words are best to use.
“Yes, I’d like to know what you guys are.” Sarah chimes in, Seth instantly looks down at the table, feeling guilty for bringing on her accusing tone. “I mean, for God's sake!” her hands slam down on the table as she shoots to her feet, evidently coming to the end of her patience.
“Sarah-” You try to soothe her, but it doesn't have the desired effect.
“Don’t!” she warns, her voice barely concealing the anger.
“Sarah please don’t” you try to plead with her not to leave, following her outside as she ignores your voice. “Sarah, talk to me.” Frustration boils beneath your surface as you start to feel torn between your friend and… well, whatever he is to you.
“Like you talk to me?” she snaps back. “Some friendship this is” she scoffs, opening the door to her car. Your hand pushes back against the metal, slamming it to stop her from leaving.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you fold your arms defensively across your chest, blinking rapidly to stop tears from forming.
“I’ve done nothing but be there for you during whatever this is” She gestures all around and then at you “I’ve tried talking to you, hell, I’ve even covered for you to your family, to our boss. I’ve had your back this entire time, despite warning you.”
“Warning me? What warning?”
Sarah stares at you, eyes wide, the hurt evident. “He’s bad news and you can’t see that.” she rubs her eyes to hide how glassy they’ve become. “Did he tell you what happened to your job? Did he fucking tell you our boss ended up in hospital?”
“What?” The shock of her statement was written all over your face. He’d left that detail out. A smile pulls at Sarah’s mouth followed by a laugh.
“Of course he didn’t” she continues to drive her point. “He has major anger issues. What’s to stop him from doing that to you?”
“No” you shake your head “he wouldn't do that to me, he wouldn’t… I know-”
“You don’t know him!” she grabs your arms and shakes you “Listen to me! See the signs! Look at what’s happened! First he drugs you”
“Hold on, that’s not what happened-”
“Second, he puts your boss in danger” she cuts you off and starts listing things that have happened, counting them on her fingers “And then just today, You were mad at him and the next thing you’re running off and I’ve got a group of messed up weirdos telling me you’re with him and then you turn up barely dressed! What am I supposed to think?” She’s exasperated and confused as she slaps he sees with her arms.
“If I wanted a lecture I’d have clued my mother in on all this!” your anger has returned. You sense his presence watching from the cabin window; it does little to calm you. If anything it spurs you on, feeling the need to defend him. “You don’t understand.”
“Then tell me” Sarah begs you.
“I can’t…there are no words.” Seeing her look of disappointment, you give an explanation a go “It sounds ridiculous but it's like in the movies, when they say love at first sight. I can’t get him out of my head, I need to be around him. It hurts to be apart-”
“God, just listen to yourself. Do you know how crazy you sound? How can you love someone you barely know? You sound delusional.” she grabs your head, moving it to face what little light resonates from the cabin. She moves in closer, studying your eyes before snapping her head round to face Paul as he emerges from the building. “Have you drugged her again?” Sarah starts towards him, hurling more accusations. You yell after her, trying to stop it before it happens, knowing what Sarah gets like with a bee in her bonnet. You grab her by the elbow, pulling her astray and yanking her back to face you.
“Stop please” you almost sob. She pulls her arm free to which you grab her again.
“Stay away from her, you hear me?” she turns her attention back to Paul who had made his way over. “I know what you are!” she spits at him. For a brief second, panic enters Paul’s eyes “I’ve known men like you my whole life. Let her go!” She tries to reach for him with her free arm, only just about managing to give him a slight shove, which to a man his size, was nothing. Frustrated, Sarah lashes out, she pushes her elbow back into you, causing you to stumble and fall to the ground. You don’t cry out as white hot pain sears up your hip, the scream held back by panic. You watch as Sarah, having released herself from your grip, lands a blow to Paul’s face. Despite the pain, you push to your feet and put yourself between the two of them before more damage is done. Sarah stands back, the anger dissipating as she watches you put yourself in her path, your hand resting on Paul’s chest to stop his advance. Disappointment replaces her anger as you yell for her to stop like she’s the monster; your words to him being kinder and much softer. Truth of the matter is you can sense his anger and if what she said was true between Paul and your boss, you needed to do whatever it was to stop him from doing that to Sarah. You still weren’t sure he was capable of that, not after seeing how gentle he has been with you, but what if he also gets the feeling to protect and defend you, the same one you experienced earlier? What would it drive him to do?
“Well,” Sarah starts walking backwards, taking in the scene. Waves of sadness lap at you as tears fall from her eyes. “I guess you’ve made your choice then.” She chokes on the last sentence as she turns to get into her car, the anger completely gone, replaced by emptiness in both of you. The sound of the car sputtering to life wakes you from the trance you entered. Your hand leaves Paul as your feet start to run towards her car.
“Don’t go,” you whisper, hoping that she would somehow hear. You wipe your own tears off on the back of your hand as you chase her car up the dirt track, knowing she can see you in the mirror. Paul’s concerned shouts drown out in white noise as you continue up the drive long after Sarah is still no longer in view. “Don’t go, not like this” you mumble as the pace slows to a walk, your feet clumsily taking you forward until your senses start to wake back up, reality whooshing back in. The pain at your hip is a reminder of events and the hollowness inside for the mourning of your only friend in this place. You stumble through the pain of your hip, now fully aware of the presence that follows you. The urge to run into his arms is overwhelming as you crave comfort but doubt has started to creep back in, sowing its seed in your mind, so you ignore him for a little longer.
Eventually he approaches you, after your emotions settle. Allowing him to take you into his arms, you take a deep breath to savour the moment and solidify him in your memory. You’ve had time to think and time is what you need more than anything.
“I want to go home.” earlier the prospect of leaving Paul hurt more than anything but now you relish in the idea of space as you feel yourself shutting down. Although he doesn’t want to let you go, he knows he can’t smother you.
“Just don’t shut me out, talk to me.” He strokes your hair as he holds you, hoping his words would reach you deep inside, so you know that you’re not alone. You break from his hold as his words remind you of similar ones from Sarah.
Do I shut people out? I don’t mean to…
Briefly do you look into his eyes, the only feature to give away the pain he’s currently in, watching you go through this. Once again feeling sad you turn and head back down the track towards the cabin.
“Have I lost you?” his question cuts deeper than a knife, dissolving the last piece of your stability. “Tell me I haven’t lost you” his voice breaks as he pleads for an answer. It hurts you even more to hear him like this, you want to comfort him and tell him everything is okay but you can’t find it in you to do that.
“You’ll never lose me” you whisper as you put distance between the both of you. Despite it being almost inaudible, you feel certain he’s heard or senses it as his footfalls start to follow you once again. The words you whispered running over your mind in a constant loop. Seemingly you’ve made a choice this day; no matter what, you’re here for the long run. The idea of losing Paul, the hurt involved with that, outweighs everything else. The thought alone is almost enough to send you to the floor in a hysterical fit of hyperventilating and panic. He’ll never lose you.
Not that I have much choice in the matter.
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