#tw violence toward children
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Great Risk, Great Reward
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PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS FIC CONTAINS: VIOLENCE TOWARDS ANIMALS AND CHILDREN, BLOOD, INJURY, AND ANIMAL DEATH - IF ANY OF THOSE THINGS MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!
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I want to thank my pal Mons for being a constant inspiration for the PLA Mer AU and for beta reading this fic for me.
Summary: Gaeric finds out that Dawn likes penguins, but their bonding times goes a little awry.
Don't want to read it on Tumblr? You can read it on AO3!
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“Hey-” Dawn began to scramble across the ground faster, very familiar with the voice and deathly terrified to have yet another bad encounter. “Hey, squirt! I’m talking to you.”
“Oh no, no, no, no-”
Dawn was almost across the room, almost to the same pool that Ingo had disappeared into with Calaba and Irida – where had Gaeric even come from and why hadn’t she heard him? He was so big and, mer or no, seals were not exactly graceful on land. A hand snatched her up with her fingertip’s inches from the frigid water. Enclosed in his warm palm, Dawn felt herself moving through space and mentally preparing for the worst. What was he going to yell at her for today?
To her surprise upon meeting Gaeric eye-to-considerably-larger-eye, he was beaming, looking genuinely excited about… Well, something. Dawn had only even seen him grumpy and tired, and he usually wasn’t awake at this hour.
“I thought we learned from last time,” his tone was chiding, and his expression momentarily reflected the voice, but clearly, he was too excited to permit the disapproving scowl to grace his face. “Stay out of the deeper water without an adult.”
Dawn cringed and shrank in his outstretched palm, edging as far away as she could because her heart was positively slamming against her ribcage with a barely contained anxiety. She was less afraid of Gaeric after that last time Ingo dumped her with the warden. Despite how intimidating she still found him, his coat was very soft and fluffy, which was one point in his favor. It was practically irresistible, many other pups running their fingers through it with a reverent fascination. (And he had been pretty nice to her since then, doubly so after she quelled his noble with her flute.)
Still, this level of excitement for Gaeric was not in character. So, Dawn remained wary even as he propelled himself across the ice toward a different hole. She recognized it. It was a tunnel that led to the outside. A fresh wave of panic swarmed in her head like a cloud of wasps, buzzing irrational thoughts into her ears. She swallowed an anxious whine as it became abundantly clear that Gaeric intended to take her from the settlement. Dawn fiddled with her scarf, keeping her eyes low, and hardly listening as Gaeric chatted at her in amicable tones.
“Ga-Gaeric?” She interrupted him hesitantly. He was just about to set her down so she could follow him, in his excitement, he had even noticed how she was acting. “Wh-Where are you tak-taking me?”
“Hm?”
Oh, he supposed he hadn’t told her just yet. He was just so thrilled, so excited about the news. All the wardens were. Loathe as he was to tell the Diamond clan anything, he also shared the good news with Sabi, who he was sure would find some way to relay that to the rest of her clan.
Now, however, Gaeric was turning vaguely pink. He hadn’t meant to overhear. Honest! People just presumed that he, under his nice, warm stitched walrus skins, was asleep, and often he was dozing off, but it was a catnap like he had seen Lady Sneasler do. Half-conscious but ready to leap into action at a moment’s notice, especially given the strange changes in the sea recently and the encroaching of those humans into their territory.
“I, uh – I heard that you like penguins.”
Dawn’s jaw slackened in disbelief. She had only recently told Ingo of her travels to the northern shores of Hisui, an ice encrusted and ethereally silent snowscape, and witnessed several penguins waddling around. Either Ingo told his fellow wardens, and considering how close to the vest he kept most information concerning Dawn that seemed unlikely, or Gaeric had overheard, which made her nervous about what else he might have inexplicably overheard. Mentally scolding herself for being so careless of her surroundings and tongue so loose as to talk of her secret double-life on the surface.
“Er, yeah! I do.”
A gleeful glint came into Gaeric’s blue eyes, his next sentence actually made her perk up.
“Fantastic! Let’s go look for some penguins then.”
Dawn should have known that it was too good to be true.
The swim to the north shore was actually pretty nice. Gaeric was chatting with her amiably, grinning toothily while she swam around him, his eyes watchful for any potential predators, but they seemed to be getting along famously. That was, until they made it to the frozen tundra, and Gaeric threw out an arm to make her halt.
“Alright kid,” he said, flashing her a broad smile.
He did not notice her decidedly confused expression as he launched into an in-depth explanation of penguins.
“These guys are speedy in the water, but you probably know that already.”
The warden gently nudged her toward the distant penguins torpedoing through the water, zipping after silvery fish.
“If you need air, the clan has already made a few airholes in the ice. Just be cautious of any predators that might be on the ice if you stick your head out to get a look, alright? I’ll be right here if anything happens.”
“Uh, okay?”
Dawn replied, unsure why Gaeric of all mers would be so excited to show her something like this. Lian loved to show and share things with Dawn, but Gaeric? This was extremely out of character. That was when she started to realize things were not exactly as they seemed.
“This is my first time watching you, so don’t be worried about making any mistakes. We all know Ingo’s not the greatest of hunters.”
Hunters?
Did Gaeric… Oh, no.
Dawn felt another insistent little nudge to the small of her back. That’s why he was excited. He was excited to teach her to hunt because she had said she liked penguins. Gaeric was providing her helpful tricks and hints for her imminent hunt and Dawn could feel her insides roiling. Why did he have to suddenly be so encouraging? Her brain was screaming with panic, clutching her hands in front of her and nervously fussing with the edges of her scarf.
Sensing unease, he stopped pushing – some pups had performance anxiety, they wanted to impress or do well on their first hunt, but they got inside their own heads. Maybe that’s what she was feeling with his incessant chatter.
“Hey kid?” She twisted around to glance at him, and he gave her two thumbs up. “You’ve got this.”
With that final encouragement, Dawn swam forward, the warden unaware of the deep grimace etched into her cheeks. He wanted her to – what? Chase a penguin? He knew how bad she was at swimming. Yes, she had been getting better since she learned to dodge the frenzied nobles, but she was not fast, just better coordinated. She was trying to think fast. Gaeric expected her to try, and she had to do something to maintain her façade, so she would at least chase after some penguins. He would eventually get fed up with her failed attempts… but then what?
Gaeric genuinely enjoyed hunting. Not because he was a bloodthirsty maniac or anything (like Dawn seemed to think), he just felt more in his element chasing prey down, when building his sophisticated traps, when launching a spear into the hide of a seal – he said that it tickled the predatory part of his brain that few other activities seemed to even scrape. Teaching pups to hunt was always an exciting prospect. Pups had so much untapped potential that Gaeric loved to nurture. The next generation of Pearl clan hunters was a serious source of pride for the warden and, although Dawn could be a little weird at times, he was just as invested in teaching her as he was with any pup.
Dawn drifted, penguins and fish danced erratically in the water before her like it was some absurd ballet. Maybe if she had been here with Ingo, it would have been amusing, but not under her current circumstances. How could she make this look convincing? She thought about her excursions with Laventon and his advice on how to get closer to their target. A target was basically prey right?
‘Stay low and move slow. Don’t make any sudden movements or noises that might scare them.’
Maintain the illusion. She knew just enough about penguins to know they would quickly scatter once she started chasing them, probably hop back onto the icepack the moment they saw her advance. She dove down where the sunlight couldn’t reach and the water became even colder, watching the white bellies of the penguins flitting around overhead. Without realizing it, Dawn’s body was responding to an instinct she did not think she possessed as a human who transformed into a mer; muscles coiling, pupils blown wide in anticipation, hands curling and uncurling.
The warden watched with an ember of pride burning brightly in his chest. He waited with great anticipation for her to make her first catch.
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Gaeric watched her for about twenty minutes as penguin after penguin slipped through her clutches with startling regularity. He knew she wasn’t experienced, but even the most novice of pups was able to grab a penguin after a couple of tries. Now all the birds were making a beeline for the shore and there was no point for the pup to follow. If she was this bad in the water, she would have no chance hunting anything on the land.
Dawn actually snarled at him when he shifted himself between her and her quarry, the noise frustrated as she tried to dart around him.
“Pup, stop. You’re going to overheat. Go up and take a breath. Clear your head.”
The surveyor didn’t even realize how much heat she was radiating from physical exertion. Her slim chest heaving and muscles quivering – she didn’t realize how much her focus had consumed her. The large mer guided her to the surface, already giving her pointers as she tried to catch her breath. How long was she chasing the Adélies? She was able to recognize the brush tails and distinct two-toned coats from her previous excursions with the professor. She was genuinely trying to catch one… to do what with? She didn’t want to dwell on it, the mere thought made her shudder with a mix of disgust and horror.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” The warden murmured sympathetically, completely misinterpreting her expression as disappointment. “Catching them gets easier with practice. You stay here.”
No argument from Dawn, she felt exhausted as she watched Gaeric disappear into the gloom. The blood pounded in her ears, otherwise she would have noticed how quiet the surrounding water had become as a predator trawled through the sea.
He was gone for a little while, Dawn waiting idly for the warden to return, but making sure to practice scanning around like Ingo had taught her. She was very small and there were a lot of would-be predators like orcas, leopard seals, and polar bears patrolling for a tasty snack like her.
She smelled Gaeric before she saw him, or rather, she smelled the blood. Thankfully it wasn’t his, but it was putrid, clouding the water in a fine pink mist as he approached, which was when she heard the shrieks that sent a cold shiver up her spine. The warden had a woven net over his shoulder that was chock full of dead Adélie penguins, all except one, which was making those horrific noises.
Dawn covered her mouth, feeling saliva pooling beneath her tongue, but it had nothing to do with hunger. No, the penguin looked far from appetizing. A wave of nausea rolled through her, making her skin feel prickly hot and stomach roil when he came to a stop in front of her.
The smell of blood was all around her, sticking to the inside of her nose, bitter and metallic, while Gaeric rummaged through his catch of the day, seizing the sole penguin left alive, and dropped it before her with an encouraging smile. He had the realization that she would not only be hungry after all that swimming around, but she would also want a chance to prove herself to him. He had done a similar tactic with other pups, the younger ones especially; catch something of an appropriate size for them and injure it, then allow the pup to make the final blow. It was a good boost of confidence after a long string of failures.
The penguin flopped around, plumes of blood misting the water darker and darker pink with each flap of the poor creature’s unbroken wing, wailing in fear and agony. The scene was ghastly.
“Alright pup. Now, what you’re going to want to do is-”
The audible gag over the sounds of the penguin made Gaeric stop midsentence and he looked more closely at the tears collecting in her dark eyes.
“Ga-Gaeric, I c-can’t…”
A frown settled on his face. A new predicament. Dawn probably liked to eat penguins, but she had never been hunting before, certainly not with him and presumably not Ingo. This would be her first kill and, occasionally, pups would get squeamish. It didn’t happen often, but they would suddenly get cold fins, and just couldn’t follow through with a kill. He should have guessed that Dawn would be similar. Ingo had had a similar reaction, but he quickly got over it out of necessity. So, he told her the same thing that he had told all the others in the past.
“Dawn, I know it’s hard, but this is something you have to learn to be comfortable with.”
Gaeric gestured to the flightless bird flopping around. When she didn’t look, he lifted her head with a knuckle placed under her chin. Dawn wouldn’t have expected him to be so gentle. Ingo treated her like glass, which was not within the norm with mers. They bit and scratched and roughhoused. This was completely unexpected of Gaeric.
Dawn emitted a sickened gurgle, averting her eyes away from Gaeric, away from the bird – there was nowhere else to look. Gaeric took up most of her field of vision and the penguin took up what remained. Her eyes snapped closed.
“I can’t,” she moaned, more to herself than the warden, “I can’t do it.” Her hands moved to cover her mouth and nose, trying to block out the assault to her senses.
In her head, she was trying to calculate how badly this would make her look in Gaeric’s eyes. Just because she was able to quell his lord and he was treating her with less suspicion than he usually did, Dawn knew he did not trust her. That was when a thought came to her.
She was alone with Gaeric. Completely alone. He could have been grilling her the whole time about her deal, which he had done in the past, but he was so caught up with hunting that he hadn’t. Without that distraction, without that ounce of “goodwill,” Gaeric had her in a very precarious position.
A palpable wave of anxiety rolled through her, her eyes widening and her nearly hidden ear pinning back, whole body eerily still – and the warden didn’t even seem to notice, already steamrolling into a lecture about the necessity of hunting because it was about survival in this dog-eat-dog world. If Dawn wasn’t feeling so sick to her stomach with fear, she would have found a way to tease him about how he sounded very similar to a certain someone in his clan.
“Do you really want this poor bird to wriggle around in the water until a different predator comes around and does the exact same thing? Because that’s what’s going to happen.”
He watched her wince, cowering to avoid looking at the penguin. He sighed. This might require a little more persuasion. What to do… He considered for a moment. By this point most pups would have gotten over their initial reaction and kill their prey, but Dawn was still resistant. He knew she was picky, but this was something she needed to grow out of for survival purposes. It was all well and good that Palina and Iscan and some of the others were trying to accommodate her picky habits, but Gaeric was trying to look at this realistically.
Food was calories and calories kept you alive. Hunting was what kept you alive and, well… death was a part of life. It wasn’t pretty, but it was necessary.
And she needed to learn for her own good.
Gaeric sighed. A deep, weary sigh that made Dawn peek at him through her fingers.
“We aren’t going anywhere until you kill this penguin.”
“B-But-”
“We have all day. If this one dies, then I’m going to get another until you do what I’m asking you to do.”
The horror in her dark eyes was enough to solidify Gaeric’s resolve. If she didn’t want to be seen as a baby by the older mers, then this was the first step, so he wasn’t going to let her wiggle her way out of this with that silver tongue of hers.
He could have predicted the quick dart to his flank, trying to outmaneuver him with her speed, but he was used to pups. She smacked into his palm at full force and reeled back with a dazed oof! No amount of pleading and crying would sway him, and she could tell he meant what he said, they weren’t going anywhere until Dawn killed it.
On a fundamental level, she knew this was a teaching moment that was meant to strengthen the bond between her and the warden and to hone her hunting skills, but Dawn was also Laventon’s research assistant! She had spent nearly two weeks alongside the professor studying all the animals that the mers ate! She couldn’t do it. Not in good conscious to her researcher nature.
She tried anyway. Grimacing at the bird with a tightness in her throat as she turned her gaze to Gaeric, mouth open only to be cut off.
“No.” He said preemptively. “You’re going to do this. I know you can do it – so do it.”
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There was a long stretch where Dawn just couldn’t move, unable to look at the writhing Adélie and trying to ignore it as it made the more horrible screeching noises. She was hoping that a different predator would swoop in and snag the bleeding penguin by now, but Gaeric was an active deterrent.
The warden seemed to possess infinite patience, preventing her escape with such ease that Dawn found it frustrating. Even when she thought she was being slick when she tried to clamber onto one of the chunks of ice when she was permitted to take another lungful of air, he instantly scooped her up and plopped her back in front of the bird.
In a test of wills, Dawn knew who the winner would be; Gaeric could and would throw his weight around to make her commit the gruesome act. She actually started yelling at him when her frustration at the situation boiled over and, still, he remained resolute, nudging her back toward the penguin indifferently even as she tried to push back against his hand with every ounce of strength in her small body.
“Kid, you have to do this. That bird is suffering, you need to put it out of its misery.”
“You’re the one who hurt it!”
Dawn wriggled, squirming between his fingers, but he held her tail fast between his middle and pointer finger. He swung her back around and that’s when she started baring her teeth at her in a poor attempt to assert herself. Gaeric didn’t let that stand. A low growl resonated in his throat, leaning into Dawn’s space, and narrowing his eyes with a snarl on his lips. She wasn’t intimidating him, and she was quick to cower at his display.
When Gaeric didn’t release her tail and held her in front of the penguin, Dawn knew she was out of options and that frightened her. Her chest and throat grew tighter.
“I can’t – please don’t make me.”
“It’s for your own good, Dawn. Trust me.”
He sensed the change in her demeanor, his perseverance had worn her down, and, although she was trying to stifle her sobs, she was trying to reach for the penguin.
“It’s going to try to snap at you, but you need to take it with your hands by its beak and twist its neck until it snaps. It’s going to seem like a lot more, but also somehow less, pressure than you think you’ll need, but that’s something you get used to.”
She sobbed as she clamped the bird’s beak shut, scooping up the Adélie’s body in up against hers. She nearly vomited as the penguin writhed desperately, its heart pounding so fast and hard that it almost made her drop it in fear. The encouragement over her shoulder was not helping, even if it was meant to be.
Her hands shook violently, unable to perform the motion Gaeric described and unable to open her mouth to beg him to let her go. It was pointless, he wouldn’t, she had to do this. Dawn whispered an apology to the struggling bird and was about to jerk her limbs to get it over with, but that’s when she noticed Gaeric’s grip had loosened.
She cautiously turned her head only to see a look on Gaeric’s face that shook her to the very core. Dawn only saw him in profile, but his ears were pressed nearly flat against his head, his eyes opened wide with dark pupils shrunk to three-quarters of their size, and – she had never seen so many sharp teeth.
Without a word, Gaeric scooped her and the bird up, and moved fast. Dawn barely had time to ask what was happening, he unceremoniously shoved them into a niche in the blue white of the glacial ice.
“What’s-”
“Stay here. Don’t come out until I come get you.”
“But what’s-”
Dawn tried to say, deliberately ignoring what Gaeric had said by trying to slide out, but he was quick to push her back in the crevasse.
“Stay put.” He growled and, this time, Dawn obeyed, fear rooting her to the spot. She did catch Gaeric hissing something under his breath just before he darted out of sight. “Those damn ships…”
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Gaeric was sufficiently deep that the ship sitting atop the wave would have no idea what lurked beneath them. A fury was burning inside him, his eyes narrowing as the ship moved closer in the direction of the settlement. He had been too distracted by Dawn to notice the ship sooner and it was far too close for comfort, just beyond the sheet of ice like they had been following the coastline from their settlement.
The humans weren’t paying attention.
So, he would make them pay attention.
Irida had asked him to deploy nonviolent methods and, thus far, he had obeyed his mentee out of respect for her and for her title as leader. He had dragged many ships to their doom against sharp, rock outcrops and glaciers, some he had capsized with the motions of his massive tail, and other times just used his immense strength to snap off vital pieces to stop their forward progress.
The ships kept coming though. It’s like the humans never ran out of the damn things! He knew Mai had handled one or two that got too close to the Diamond clan and he had disabled or destroyed more than he could count on his fingers, and they still didn’t stop coming.
Gaeric thought it was high time to be proactive about the human situation.
Even at this depth, Gaeric could hear the crew moving along the creaking wood, he could identify each one by the pitch and timbre of their voices. The crew wasn’t large. The water was absolutely silent and eerily still, nothing but he and the ship in the vicinity. The warden edged closer, remaining right beneath the craft, or at least, as much as he could manage. As much as he wanted to bust through the hull and give those arrogant humans a really good scare, he pushed down those instincts.
This ship was going to be demolished, smashed into smithereens to make a point – one that was jagged and razor sharp. His lips were pulled back over his teeth as he watched the prow cut through the glass-like surface of the water. It was a good day to be sailing, or it would have been if the ship had been anywhere else.
He was poised and ready to strike. Every muscle in his body coiled as he went over his plan again in his head. Gaeric would strike with his heavily muscled tail, using it like a battering ram to shatter the ship in two. What about the crew? A voice that sounded suspiciously like Ingo whispered in the back of his head (sort of an oxymoron in itself which helped Gaeric ignore the impending ramifications of his actions). The warden growled under his breath, shaking his head as if to loosen the thought’s hold on him.
Nothing was going to stop him. He would accept whatever punishment Irida dished out because he was doing this for the continued protection of his people. It would be worth it if his clan could survive another day. This ship and every other one that came into their territory – he would break each and every vessel until the humans had nothing but logs lashed together with hemp to take on the rough seas.
Gaeric surged forward with a blinding speed, ready to make his steep descent back into the depths to maximize the damage on the clueless vessel. The silence of the water would have felt deafening, had his ears not picked up a noise that made him stop dead in his tracks. A panic struck the warden like lightning as he heard the noise again. Instantly, his attack on the ship was forgotten, the crew none the wiser of the near miss as Gaeric tore off in the direction he had come from as another scream reached his ears.
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Dawn hadn’t exactly meant for this scenario to be playing out as it was. The second she heard Gaeric saying something about ships, she knew that it had to be one of the Galaxy Team’s, a research vessel or fishing boat. The Ginkgo Guild didn’t head toward the northern shores for much of anything, it didn’t intersect with their trade routes, so it was extremely unlikely to be one of their trade ships.
She panicked.
Gaeric would no doubt be pissed, but Dawn needed to stop him. He had already done a lot of damage and that only made Kamado double down on his efforts to map out the icelands so fewer ships would be lost. It was a never-ending cycle.
She was peeking out of the crevasse that Gaeric had unceremoniously stuffed her into for her own protection. Nothing to see, nothing to hear – the ocean around her was lifeless. It was creepy. Even the penguin behind her was silent, but she was afraid to look around at it. Dawn didn’t want to see if it had finally succumbed to its wounds.
The idea of sharing a small space with a dead animal made her almost as sick as she had been as Gaeric had been encouraging her to snap the penguin’s neck. Blindly reaching behind her, Dawn flapped around to find the carcass to shove it out of there. Over her internal mental anguish, she did not realize there was one sound she was hearing, ears flicking in the direction of it but listening passively.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”
She mumbled, nearly in tears as she managed to get a hand on the Adélie and was about to push it out of the crevasse when she heard the noises that she had subconsciously been hearing but not registering. Dawn jerked her head, a clicking that sounded familiar but also sent a chill down her spine. Ingo made those sounds sometimes. The sharp squeaks when he attempted to communicate with someone (or ones) no longer at his side. If she could hear it, then it was already too late.
All her disgust was instantly replaced with terror, and she wasted no time, grabbing the Adélie and shoving it out of there just as a massive shadow blotted out the light. Dawn slapped her hands over her mouth, squelching the scream that was pressing against her lower ribs. From her vantage, she could see the penguin floating in the water, its form lifeless and slowly sinking. A dark snout nudged it curiously, a second snout appearing on the other side and nudging it in confirmation.
There was a voice in her head screaming at her that was a mix of her own, Ingo’s, Laventon’s, and every other mer she had ever spoken to get out of there. Not safe. Danger. Predator. Move. Escape!
What had Gaeric said earlier? If she needed to breathe, the clan had made air holes.
Dawn raised her eyes to the top of the crevasse and, true to the warden’s word, there was a small shaft of light. Thank Sinnoh for the foresight of the clans. She moved quietly, not that the orcas could do a whole lot if she was up on the ice, but she didn’t want to attract any attention whatsoever. She reached the hole, a smaller one that had partially frozen over but was clearly made for a mers smaller than Gaeric, Ingo, or even Mai and Adaman, and poked her head out, taking a deep breath of cold air.
She was about to put her hands on the ice to clamber out when she felt her whiskers twitch and something deep in her gut told her to stay low. The sheet of ice seemed barren, but something was setting off a danger alarm in her brain.
Time slowed, all other sounds fell away, even the sounds of the orcas in the water, and Dawn heard something crunching the snow under its feet. The crunching got louder, the sound blurring into one as it got closer, and Dawn did scream this time, ducking back into the water and getting as far away from the air hole as an enormous paw reached through to swipe at nothing. A furry paw as pale as the ice around it fumbled for the prey it knew was down there and Dawn couldn’t stop screaming, alerting all the predators around her.
The polar bear was just able to shove its head through the hole, thank the gods it had shrunk from its previous size, and it blinked at her, beady black eyes following her movements as she tried to get further away. The orcas, now quite alert of one prey in the water, and most likely the bear on the ice, were crowding around the crevasse, squeaking and pushing their snouts into the crack. The bear must have also registered their presence, but seemed to hesitate, weighing its options before two-inch long claws began to tear through the ice. The promise of an easy meal that had nowhere to run just below the ice – if it could make a hole big enough for it to get through.
The orcas were of no consequence to the large land mammal, they couldn’t move tons of ice to force their way into the crevasse, but it did make Dawn a sitting duck. All she could do was scream. Trapped between a rock and a hard place, so Laventon was wont to say. Stuck between two mouth loads (possibly more since orcas moved in pods) of conical teeth and four paws decked with razor sharp claws and a mouth big enough and strong enough to crush her skull.
She was going to die.
Ice crunched all around her, the bear’s paw slapping the water as it excavated the ice piece by piece. Behind her, the orcas squealed and kept throwing her into darkness. Fear was tightening around her lungs and heart, making it hard to think about anything due to lack of oxygen. Everything had finally been going so well! She had quelled the frenzied nobles and the seas had stopped slowly rising. Jubilife was safe for a little longer. People had stopped looking at her with suspicion and she finally felt comfortable in the mer communities that had opened their arms to her.
Now it was all about to come to an end because she couldn’t kill an already doomed penguin.
Dawn didn’t realize she was crying, her tears just mixed with the cold water while she sank lower into the crevasse, as far away from either party as she could get from, but it wouldn’t matter. Gaeric was going to destroy a ship in broad daylight and Dawn was going –
Outside, the orcas were squeaking in agitation as she picked up something with her sensitive ears. Something massive tearing through the water at a breakneck pace.
“Gaeric!”
Dawn had never screamed so loud in her life. The sounds of the bear and the cetaceans were drowned out by her deafening cries.
The fear in her voice only spurred Gaeric to go even faster until – there! Two orcas were poised and waiting in the exact place he had left Dawn, the ignored remains of the penguin he had caught drifting into the abyss with their attention focused on the alive and panicked prey hiding within.
Orcas, like all their cetacea cousins, were intelligent. Orcas in particular are adept hunters and they enjoyed playing with their food before they ate it. Gaeric wasn’t exactly sure why. He wasn’t sure if animals were capable of cruelty like mers and humans were, but he knew that they acted beyond what was necessary to acquire prey. This wasn’t a particularly favorable match up, Gaeric was big, but orcas weren’t exactly small, and they had numbers on their side. Admittedly less numbers than would be normal for the species, but Gaeric wasn’t about to question it, and he hoped, in the back of his head, that that didn’t come back to bite him.
He launched himself like a missile through the water, leading with his shoulder to slam into the unprotected flank of the closer orca. By this point, the warden wasn’t even speaking intelligibly, just hissing and spitting and roaring – because how dare they. How dare they attack his little protégé when she was already going through her own emotional turmoil. He had been so caught up with the creaking and sloshing of the ship in the distance, Gaeric hadn’t noticed the threat around him, and by extension, Dawn.
Without even looking, he knew the other orca was coming toward him. They were faster, but Gaeric was smarter. Just a few well-placed hits - claws digging into sensitive spots like eyes and enough whacks with his heavily muscled tail, then the pair would be on their way.
“Gaeric!”
He could hear her yelling, but he didn’t understand why. He was managing the threat. The whales would be gone soon and then he would take her back to the settlement. This and the penguin were enough trauma for one day.
His claws raked into the underside of the orca, tinging the blood pink as it wailed. What he didn’t need was for them to attract others, he needed just enough time to get Dawn and hightail it out of there because taking on a pod was out of the question. Even if he had Ingo by his side, orcas were meticulous and savage when they chose to be.
“Gaeric! Help!”
Can’t divert his attention now! The orcas were falling back, fleeing into the gloom with high pitch whines that were sure to draw in others in their pod.
“BEAR!”
Bear?
That’s when Gaeric heard the low grumbles and huffs, something big splashing into the water. Like it was in slow motion, he saw Dawn dart towards him as the whales fled, only to see her get jerked back violently.
A polar bear.
An old and all too familiar dread suffocated him. His body was moving even before the electrical impulses raced from his brain to his limbs. His fury blinded him, only allowed to because his thoughts weren’t there. Gaeric was lost to time. Frozen in the memory of another young protégé in mortal peril because he acted stupidly.
Gaeric had promised himself – promised himself – that this wouldn’t happen again.
And yet.
No more blood. No more traumatized pups. No more mistakes.
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Dawn was too busy trying not to get mauled to see exactly what Gaeric was doing, but the polar bear was alternatively swiping at her and ripping up chunks of ice to get better access to her. The surveyor just kept screaming for the warden with each swipe that came closer, with every scoop of ice that provided a bigger hole for the arctic predator.
It was getting dangerously close now, its head and shoulders almost squeezing through –
There was an agitated squeaking that only grew more distant. Gaeric must have run the orcas off. She just needed to get to him. Dawn darted for the crevasse, even spotting the blue haired warden beyond, looking uninjured, but quite agitated himself.
“BEAR!”
She shrieked at the top of her lungs, but it was too late. The sheet of ice that had been protecting her finally caved in and the polar bear was in the water with her paddling toward her with urgency. A massive paw slammed into her side, knocking the wind out of her and five claws bit through her uniform and into her abdomen.
The last thing she really saw before a flurry of colors was Gaeric’s expression. She had never seen him look scared before. He prided himself on being strong and brave for the sake of the clan, but that heartbeat before he was on top of the pair, Dawn had never seen that look on his face. A haunted look in those blue eyes.
It was a flurry of limbs, the water churning, and the bellowing that almost deafened her, but she saw it all. Her head might have been spinning because of how much she had been flung around (and blood loss), but she watched Gaeric take the bear’s neck and, exactly as he explained to her with the penguin, twisted it sharply.
The snap was the most sickening thing Dawn had ever heard. It made each individual hair on her body stand up and she did actually vomit this time (although, that also might have been her body’s reaction to the severe trauma). Things were moving much too fast. Gaeric was quick to drag her and the bear away, grab his net load of penguins that was swaying in the current at the bottom, and hightailed it out of there before anything else could happen.
So, Dawn saved a ship, at the cost of having a nasty gash through her uniform, unaware just how bad the injury beneath was.
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Gaeric physically cringed as Ingo got in his face. It was the first and only time the larger warden had ever gotten confrontational with any member of Pearl clan, and it was downright frightening. It was easy to forget just how dangerous Ingo could be if he only chose to. It was easy to grow complacent with that knowledge in mind, that Ingo chose kindness and patience when he didn’t have to be.
Right now, Ingo was not choosing to be anything other than pure rage. A deep, foreign growl resonated in his chest as he demanded to know what happened because his pup was hurt and Gaeric looked remarkably unharmed.
To his credit, Gaeric was willing to take whatever Ingo had to dish out at him on the chin. He failed as a guardian. He failed to keep a pup under his watch safe and now she was getting treatment for wounds inflicted by the polar bear. So, he was willing to accept whatever punishment Ingo was inevitably building toward. In all his years of knowing Ingo, he had never seen him so angry, but before this last year, he never had anything he cared so deeply for. Yes, Ingo was loyal to the clan and devoted to his ward, but Dawn was different. For him, Dawn was family, and for Gaeric to be so careless - it was tantamount to something happening to Irida on Ingo’s watch.
Ingo listened to the story, his hands curled into tight fists as Irida watched on, cautioning him by repeating his name because she didn’t want nor need infighting between her wardens, not with how the sea was so intent on swallowing up the region – humans and nobles included. With a shaking hand, Ingo jabbed a finger into Gaeric’s chest, right in the center of his clan crest, and rumbled dangerously low,
“You had better pray to Sinnoh that she recovers.”
They all knew that Dawn would be just fine, Ingo was just veiling his threat – if anything like this happens again, I will not be so forgiving. Gaeric had narrowly avoided Ingo’s considerable wrath. The cavern was silent in the wake of Ingo’s departure, everyone collectively holding their breath until Irida exhaled slowly. Her wardens followed suit. Catastrophe avoided, they all waited for the medic to be done tending to Dawn so Ingo could see her and start to calm down.
#thanks for reading!#pokemon#pla#legends of arceus#pokemon: legends arceus#pokemon legends arceus#pokemon legends: arceus#pl:a#p:la#tw animal death#tw violence#tw blood#tw injury#tw violence toward children#tw violence toward animals#pla mer au#fan fic#fanfic#fan fiction#fanfiction#hopefully the format isn't too weird#pokemon warden gaeric#pokemon warden ingo#pokemon akari#pokemon akari/dawn
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you kill well actually and i kill you next, you pathetic loser piece of shit poor excuse of a paladin.
-sparrow oak-garcia-actually
okay, fucking fight me then. you’re a teenager, and i’m the king of hell. i’ll pulverize you.
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My therapist and I were discussing my alters, and I mentioned that when I was 16 AHS was my comfort show when I was a teenager, this was basically the following convo:
Therapist: "American Horror Story, a show about violence and murder was your comfort show?"
Me: 😁 "Yup, and I accidentally absorbed the personality of one of the characters cause I was unaware that kind of thing could happen and I was obsessed."
Therapist: "..."
Me, speaking with the same vibe as one would talk about the weather: "Looking back it probably wasn't the best idea, considering that I have all sorts of issues mentally and it seems to have done more harm than good."
My Therapist: "Yeah, probably wasn't a good idea."
Me: "Doesn't help that the character lost her son to a violent death and ended up killing the whole camp full children. So now I have issues thinking that I lost a child and have serious depression regarding it!"
Therapist: *makes note to discuss this further at another session*
Therapist: "Let's wrap it up for today, and I'm just gonna go ahead and make sure you have appointments through the next two months."
Me: 😁
#screamingsouls#gen z in therapy#therapist memes#me in therapy#therapists#therapy#my alters#american horror story#american horror 1984#tw trauma#tw violence#tw discussion of violence towards children#tw child loss#tw child death#tw children#tw mental health#tw mental illness#dissociative identity disorder memes#dissociative identity disorder#life with did#DID#ptsd#depression#may be triggering#trigger warning death#mental health#mental health struggles#life memes#did alter#alter memes
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I can't stop thinking about the news out of Palestine. Israel is sieging al Shifa hospital. Videos of people's limbs being severed off are haunting (graphic video tw). The hospital has ran out of fuel and 39 babies in incubators are fending for their lives by themselves, because Israel has stationed snipers around the hospital and is shooting all medical crew that walks into their sight.
First, the narrative was Israel would never bomb hospitals. Now, the hospitals are Hamas bases. Then, we respect journalists. Now, we have a fucking kill list of journalists because they are Hamas collaborators. First, we are not letting fuel in until the hostages are released. Now, we are not accepting the hostages back because that would stop our ground invasion and let Hamas win. And I could go on about every single lie they're making up. If you look up "Hamas rape" on google, the first link leads to Times of Israel saying Israel has found no forensic evidence of sexual violence, and only one eyewitness testimony out of 3.5k people attending the rave. If you Google "Hamas beheaded babies" the top links say they have no evidence for the claim besides word of mouth from extremist soldiers. Israeli extremists think about the ugliest goriest scene they can make out in their sick heads, tell that to a international journalist and they run away with it like it's gospel.
And children are being killed in the name of these lies. Thousands are being displaced in images that remind me of the pictures of Tantura 75 years ago, with their hands up so the tanks don't shoot them. Amputees are leaving the hospitals in wheelchairs hours after their surgeries because they are being shot at. Elders who survived the Nakba on 48 are having to walk towards Southern Gaza on foot (imagine walking from one end of your city to the other on foot), displaced again. People are cheering for the haunting images of white phosphorus bombs being dropped over Gaza. Gazan workers who were arrested in the West Bank are being thrust back into the bombings wearing numbered labels.
This is not normal. We are seeing the early stages of the settler colonial genocide of an indigenous population. Native leaders who have visited Gaza say its refugee camps look eerily like reservations. We can stop this. For the first time we are able to see wide scale accounts from the hands of the people suffering the genocide, and Israel is so scared of it they have cut all communications in Gaza.
This is our litmus test. I think we have never seen more clearly, with Palestine, Armenia, Congo and Sudan how colonialism has made our world a rotten place to live in.
The South African apartheid collapsed due to boycotts. We have to do everything in our power to stop Israel's hegemony. Even talking to a group of friends about Palestine changes the status quo. There's no world where we can live peacefully if Israel accomplishes their goals.
Keep yourself updated and share Palestinian voices. Muna El-Kurd said every tweet is like a treasure to them, because their voices are repressed on social media and even on this very app. Make it your action item to share something about the Palestinian plight everyday. Here are some resources:
Al Jazeera, Anadolu Agency, Mondoweiss
Boycott Divest Sanction Movement
Palestinian Youth Movement is organizing protests and direct action against weapons factories across the US
Mohammed El-Kurd (twitter / instagram)
Muhammad Shehada (twitter)
Motaz Azaiza (instagram) - reporting directly from Gaza.
Hind Khudary - reporting directly from Gaza. Her husband and daughter moved South to run from the tanks but she stayed behind to record the genocide. The least we can do is not let her calls fall on deaf ears.
You can participate in boycotts wherever you are in the world, through BDS guidelines. Don't be overwhelmed by gigantic boycott lists. BDS explicitly targets only a few brands which have bigger impact. You can stop consuming from as many brands as you want, though, and by all means feel free to give a 1 star review to McDonalds, Papa John, Pizza Hut, Burger King and Starbucks. Right now, they are focusing on boycotting the following:
Carrefour, HP, Puma, Sabra, Sodastream, Ahava cosmetics, Israeli fruits and vegetables
Push for a cultural boycott - pressure your favorite artist to speak out on Palestine and cancel any upcoming performances on occupied territory (Lorde cancelled her gig in Israel because of this. It works.)
If you can, participate in direct action or donate.
Palestine Action works to shut down Israeli weapons factories in the UK and USA, and have successfully shut down one of their firms in London.Some of the activists are going on trial and are calling for mobilizing on court.
Palestinian Youth Movement is organizing direct actions to stop the shipping of wars to Israel. Follow them.
Educate yourself. Read into Palestinian history and the occupation. You can't common sense people out of decades of propaganda. If your arguments crumble when a zionist brings up the "disengagement of Gaza", you have to learn more.
Read Decolonize Palestine. They have 15 minute reads that concisely explain the occupation (and its colonial roots) and debunk popular myths, including pinkwashing.
Read on Palestine. Here's an amazing masterpost.
Verso Book Club is giving out free books on Palestine (I personally downloaded Ten Myths about Israel by Ilan Pappe. If you still believe in the two states solution, this book by an Israeli professor debunks it).
Call your representatives. The Labour Party in the UK had an emergency meeting after several councilors threatened to resign if they didn't condemn Israeli war crimes. Calling to show your complaints works, even more if you live in a country that funds genocide.
FOR PEOPLE IN THE USA: USCPR has developed this toolkit for calls, here's a document that autosends emails to your representatives and here's a toolkit by Ceasefire in Gaza NOW!
FOR PEOPLE IN EUROPE: Here's a toolkit by Voices in Europe for Peace targeting the European Parliament and one specific for almost all countries in Europe, including Germany, Ireland, Poland, Denmark, Sweden, Netherlands, Greece, Norway, Italy, Portugal, Spain, Finland, Austria, Belgium Romania and Ukraine
FOR PEOPLE IN THE UK: Friends of Al-Aqsa UK and Palestine Solidarity UK have made toolkits for calls and emails
FOR PEOPLE IN AUSTRALIA: Here's a toolkit by Stand With Palestine
FOR PEOPLE IN CANADA: Here's a toolkit by Indepent Jewish Voices for Canada
Join a protest. Here's a constantly updating list of protests:
Global calendar
Another global calendar (go to the instragram of the organizers to confirm your protest)
USA calendar
Australia calendar
Feel free to add more.
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♈︎ 𝔄𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔢𝔰 ♈︎
✶ Aries in 1st: Being ruled by the planet Mars, these natives give a bold and invigorating first impression. What you see is what you get with Aries in the first- they have a raw and honest personality- which can be off putting for some people because it can be taken as rude depending on the person/situation- but I have to say you must admire them for being so tenacious and authentic in nature. I can hands down say the best quality about Aries in the first is what you see is what you get! They have a strong ego here, are not ashamed of their behaviors, body or personality - regardless of what others say to or about them.
✶ Aries in 2nd: Bold spenders, can be quick to have, give away and lose money. Fleeting self worth and values- can feel and act confident one hour and then shy and shameful the next. Values honesty, integrity and sense of self- this may be because they don’t have the greatest sense of self. Believes that kids and the younger generations have the most value in the world. Having children of their own could be of the greatest importance- OR (and this is a big or) they could never want kids and value connecting to their inner child and independence greatly. It’s one or the other. Can feel at war with their finances and self worth.
✶ Aries in 3rd: Athletic and popular in middle school/high school. Known for their leadership skills and qualities amongst their peers, classmates, cousins and siblings. Can be the youngest of their siblings or babied by others. Intellectually motivated, driven and competitive. Impulsive and passionate in their speech. May say things for shock value or improv their actual knowledge. Finds stimulation in an intellectual debate and arguing. It’s hard to win an argument with these people because they speak so quickly- their arguing style is just backing people into a corner mentally, they don’t give up easily. However, they can regret things that they say when they are angry or upset.
✶ Aries in 4th: Huge indicator of raising yourself as a kid. Family required you to be very active, you could be the most successful in your family as an adult because of this. Family is a point of weakness for you, mainly because they possess a lot of “childish” qualities. You may feel like your parents/guardians were big babies and never grew up. You could put a lot of energy towards your family, but could have a shorter fuse with them over all people. You may be the youngest out of your entire family. Your family could be competitive with you our vise versa. Your family could be the start of your “Villan Arc” 💀- your family may have childish values, argue a lot or they may be a “board game family”. TW - Worst case scenario- violence in the home.
✶ Aries in 5th: Play fights when flirting, aggressive flirters, acts like they hate their crush. I have this placement lmaooo and I LOVE to play fight with my man- like btch?! You wanna go!?!?!? It’s so much fun to me and usually leads to s*xies ayyye. But that’s definitely a me thing, I love to talk smack to my significant other- that’s how it’s always been. Being competitive, NO BORING DATES EVER! Known to have secs on the first date. Passionate- goooood lovers. Either wants to have kids right away or doesn’t want kids at all- this I huge independence thing that keeps them from not wanting to have kids. You can’t be the baby, if you have a baby! Commitment issues.
✶ Aries in 6th: Enjoys active routines and work place. Known to work in establishments with competitive pay and many enemies in work place. Can be scene as bossy by their coworkers. Needs to be weary of being hypocritical of their coworkers. Temper at work. Benefits from a workout routine. Needs to take out stress and anger from work & daily responsibilities. Can be very active or have hyper pets, may need a big back yard to run their dogs or other animals in. Competitive in health and motivated to be the best version’s of themselves. Picky with their diet and what they decide to put in their bodies. Can have an all or nothing attitude- because theirs definitely a reason why they are so picky. Usually this stems from poor self care habits and bad physical health.
✶ Aries in 7th: Passionate and assertive lovers, the fire they feel for their committed partners are unmatched. They may loose interest beyond physical lust- especially if they don’t take they time to figure out whether or not they ACTUALLY like someone. These individuals could truly find good in anyone so it’s important that they don’t project their desire for commitment onto someone else. They can date or be friends with some bold and persistent personalities- even bossy. It’s important that these natives find someone who will give them some wiggle room to find themselves. These people find out who they are through trial and error in their relationships - it’s typical for these natives to have “failed relationships” that lead them to find out what they definitely don’t like- which leads them to their ultimate truth.
✶ Aries in 8th: This gives the native a hyper-vigilant quality to the native with Aries in 8th. In the past the native may have been made to feel like they didn’t belong, maybe they were bullied, or judged for something they couldn’t control. This may lead them to be on edge, secretive and even defensive about who they are authentically. They are very protective about who they actually are because they have been hurt before- many of these people are Virgo Risings, so it’s interesting to see that this may be one of the reasons why they are so hard on themselves and receive a judgmental sort of reputation.
✶ Aries in 9th: I love this placement so much honestly, because a lot of these natives have the philosophy that they can go after anything that they want. They have a particularly strong sense of self and actually may have a hard time understanding why other people don’t go after what they want or believe in themselves and their dreams. This is a super hard working placement IMO - it gives very much that “I want it, I got it!” vibe! It’s very possible at a time in their life that no one believed in these individuals so they just had to prove themselves to the world, and that’s so beautiful.
✶ Aries in 10th: Go getters in their career- they do best when they are their own boss- they definitely don’t do well with being told what to do because of their sensitive nature. However, they have a lot of creativity and art to give to the world. They need a career that is authentic to who they- a simple 9-5 WILL NOT cut it for these people. So if you’re an Aries 10th and you’re still trying to make your boring, loveless day job work- this is why. It is not in your genetic code to be running someone else’s business 😂 you are the business starter- not finisher! Quit diminishing your own light because I know y’all are hard on yourselves regardless. Pick your hard and go after it!
✶ Aries in 11th: Leaders of the pack, these natives love bringing their friends together and being absolutely crazy with their friends. They are naturally socialites and feel their best when they are interacting in their community and collaborating with like minds. These people live for their down time, special niche hobbies and interests. They work hard to play hard. They may also have some pretty strong humanitarian values they stick by, these natives have no problem with telling people their opinion on any given situation and they really don’t care what you have to say about it 😆
✶ Aries in 12th: With Aries in the house of isolation, hidden endings, mental health, dreams and subconscious awareness- this can make a native who suppresses their anger deeply and keeps a lot of their authentic reactions to themselves. They may feel more comfortable expressing this rage internally or when they know nobody else is around. They may be completely out of touch with their anger and impulses. They could have to isolate before taking action towards their authentic desires or dreams. Dreams can be violent and they may have intense nightmares. These natives can work out their best alone- although they usually like to workout with someone, this keeps them from pushing themselves for fear of being ugly or vulnerable. They don’t like to show their struggle to others, complain or their authentic side.
Happy Aries Season Everyone! I hope you are all safe and navigating eclipse season /mercury retrograde with ease. I am making a series out of the signs in the houses. I hope y’all are enjoying my content! Love you and thank you so much for reading my content and giving me feedback. This is such a sacred study to me. It is my life.
~Kya
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Lord Gojo Satoru [1]
Hi All, hope you all have been well. I'm going through a writer's block for Toru & Mateo. Bear with me. In the meantime, I can distract you with Lord Gojo #hearteyes
Lord Series masterlist
Part two
Warning: angst, violence (TW: description about past physical abuse Y/n suffered through), smut (18+)
.
Lord Gojo Satoru tossed the last scroll into the flame, destroying the evidence of details about the last remaining elder.
Satoru was known as the young Lord who rosed into his high position by diminishing the elders of his clan.
He was now the head of the Gojo clan.
He now reigns over the clan and will rise to make changes to his desires.
.
.
“You must consider marriage and make haste to produce an heir, my Lord!”
Rolling his eyes, Satoru looked out the window, ignoring what the clan members he had chosen were saying.
Approaching the age of 27, he knew he could no longer delay marriage and the prospect of producing an heir. His only challenge was that he found none of the recommended ladies to be deserving of a significant role.
The only woman Satoru has ever believed to fit the role of being his wife and the mother of his children was the very one that he could not have.
Yet.
As soon as she is found, he will bring her back to his kingdom.
“Any news on her?”
They did not need to ask who he meant, everyone knew he was looking for Y/l/n Y/f/n.
Gojo Satoru has sent special men to search for the woman who has occupied his heart, mind, and soul.
The eleven members glanced nervously amongst each other before one finally replied, “no, my Lord. We will continue to keep searching for her.”
.
.
Y/n turned her head towards the breathless maid running towards her. “Yuko, what is the matter?”
The young maid whom Y/n had watched grow up from a little girl stopped in front of her, leaning against her for support as she tried to catch her breath. “Y/n, someone is looking for you!”
Frowning, Y/n asked, “me? Who?”
Yuko shrugged her shoulders, “I was running errands for our Lady when I heard many talk about the new Lord who has announced a reward if anyone knew any information about…” she paused and looked around before whispering, “Y/l/n Y/f/n.”
Y/n was under a new name given to her by her new house, Yui. She has been using the name Yui for six years. Yuko only knew of her birth name by overhearing a conversation between her mother and Y/n.
Yuko pulls out a heavily folded-up piece of paper, handing it to Y/n. “I took this off the pillar.”
Y/n’s eyes widen when it’s a drawing of her.
.
Y/n served her Lady her evening tea. She bowed her head, bidding her Lady a good night but before she could exit her chamber, her name was called.
“Yuko, you may leave but Yui, please stay for a moment. I have something to discuss with you.”
Y/n nodded her head at Yuko, sliding close the door after her.
Lady Komatsu gestured to the spot across from her.
With carefulness, Y/n set her cane down and was about to lower herself onto the cushion on the floor when she was stopped. “Please, have a seat beside me.”
Taking a seat on the soft couch across from her lady, Y/n quietly asked, “what is it, my Lady?”
Lady Komatsu has been nothing but kind to Y/n, taking her in and generously treating her like a family rather than a maid.
“It has brought to my attention that…” she sighs softly, “someone is looking for you.”
She knew of Y/n’s real identity.
Looking up, Y/n inquired, “do you know… who?”
“Lord Gojo Satoru.”
Y/n’s breath hitched, she was sure it was him but a part of her hoped it was not.
“That was the previous family you served, is that correct?”
Nodding her head, “yes, that is correct. He is the young master.”
“Who is now the head of the Gojo clan.”
Y/n’s eyes widen at the news. Satoru couldn’t have become the head of the clan yet, his father and the other elders…
“He is searching for you…” Lady Komatsu raised a brow at her, “my next question is, do you want to be found?” She threaded her fingers together and placed them on her lap. “If you do, I will release you. If you do not… I will turn a blind eye and not know who this Y/l/n Y/f/n is.”
.
Y/n rubs the achiness in her right knee. Even after almost ten years, the pain would linger now and then…
Reminding her of her place.
Reminding her of her status.
That she was merely a maid for the Gojo house and falling in love with the young master Gojo Satoru was forbidden.
Horrific memories came flooding back as she shut her eyes tightly.
Beaten and bruised Satoru stood before her.
He smiled softly at her even with a swollen and broken lip. “Y/n…”
They both knew their love for each other would never flourish with their different statuses.
Y/n has tried many times to cut it off, to destroy their sad and pathetic love.
Her request to be relocated to a different Gojo site was approved. On the day of her relocation, Satoru caused a predicament and enough was enough from his father.
Y/n cried and tried to pull away from the guards as the other guards beat the young master in front of her.
“Heed this warning, Satoru,” his father gripped the chin of his son, “know your place.” He points a finger at the guards holding Y/n down.
It took Y/n by surprise, the next thing she knew, she was writhing in pain on the ground. She gasped loudly, clenching her teeth as she gripped her right leg. Her knee was bent awkwardly, blood began seeping through her kimono.
Satoru screamed Y/n’s name, trying to crawl towards Y/n but a heavy weight held him down by the back of his neck.
With one foot pressing down on his son, he looks down at his son with cold hard eyes, ���this is all your doing, Satoru. Next time,” his tone is icy, “it won’t end with just a broken knee.”
That was the last time they saw each other. Y/n was moved to an unknown location, sold, and served under a different master and family.
It has been six years and she couldn’t deny the knowledge of hearing him search for her after all these years.
But why?
“If you do, I will release you. If you do not… I will turn a blind eye and not know who this Y/l/n Y/f/n is.”
Y/n closed her eyes.
“Can I have some time to think about this?” she asked after a few minutes.
“Of course, think about it.” Lady Komatsu smiled, “I want you to be happy, Y/n.”
Can she truly be happy?
What was Lord Gojo’s motives?
.
Weeks passed and rumors continued that a young Lord was looking for a woman.
Locals have all turned down when being asked because only very few have ever seen Y/n and are aware that she is assigned to the Komatsu house. Maids leaving the compound were restricted and only a few were assigned to be the designated one to run errands outside the compound.
Y/n was serving her lady their afternoon tea when loud commotions were coming from outside.
“I’ll go check,” Y/n assured, setting the kettle down.
She hurried out to the corridor and froze.
Standing no more than twenty feet in front of her is Lord Gojo Satoru.
His eyes trail down to the cane she used for years. He swallows the lump in his throat and looks at Y/n in the eyes once more.
“My… Lord,” she barely whispered against the wind.
He stood before her in a blink of an eye, he closed the last remaining distance between them. His long arms wrapped around her frame, holding her close.
.
“Come with me,” Satoru squeezed her hands firmly, he had not been able to let go of her since he touched her. “Come home with me,” he pleaded softly. He looked across at Lady Komatsu and turned his body. “Please, allow Y/n to leave with me. I will compensate for the time you’ve taken care of –“
Lady Komatsu held a hand up, silencing Satoru. “You will not need to, Lord Gojo.” She looks over at Y/n, who is still looking down at hers and Satoru’s hands. “If Y/n wishes to leave with you, I will release her.”
Y/n lifts her head and at Lady Komatsu, her eyes brimmed with tears. “I do, I want to leave with… Satoru.” She turned her gaze to Satoru’s crystal blue eyes, tears slipping down her cheeks, “I want to go home with you.”
.
Satoru watched as Y/n strolled through the compound she had once called home, a place filled with both beautiful and painful memories. It was where their love had initially blossomed and later suffered.
The place where they last encountered years ago has undergone a beautiful transformation into a flower garden, adoring exclusively with her favorite flowers. He made sure only her favorite flowers bloomed there.
He could not see her face, but he knew the painful memories of that day were replaying in her head. Taking a few strides, Satoru hugged her tightly from behind. His left hand moved to cover her eyes, “I cannot erase that moment from your life, but what I can do and I promise you, I will create new moments to overcome them so that you will never have to fear it anymore.” He felt her tears against his palm and he slowly moved his hand away. “I have planted all your favorite flowers, see how it’s blooming for you… each time it withers at the end of each season and blooms at the beginning of the new season… it is a means of new life and starting over…” Satoru turned her around and tilted her chin upward. “It is a new season, Y/n. Please, start over with me?”
Y/n gazed longingly into his beautiful eyes. She reached up to cup his cheeks, her thumbs rubbing his cheekbones. She still could not believe that he was in front of her. “Satoru��”
Satoru gazes longingly at Y/n, “let us start again, together, with no one to interfere with our love.” The spark in her eyes turned into pain and sadness. He frowned, “do – do you not want to start again?”
“We are too different, my Lord.”
His light blue eyes darkened. All his life, he had only ever loved Y/n, yet everyone, Y/n including now, always told him they were different. “How? You are a human just like me? Are you not?”
His breath hitched when she pulled away from him, taking a step back. “You know how, my Lord. We are from different statues.” Her head bows, “you know clearly how it will not work for us.”
“Then why did you agree to come home with me?” He gritted through his teeth. He sees her flinch and he takes a step back, releasing a deep breath while running a hand through his hair.
Her sharp inhale before she spoke, “forgive me, my Lord. I was selfish and greedy at that moment and acted without the right mind. If – if you want to send me back I will gladly return.” She bowed.
Satoru closed his eyes and exhaled quietly. He opened his eyes, they were hard and cold, “look at me Y/n.”
She straightened her posture and looked straight ahead, but not at him. He found no light in her eyes like he did before.
A low growl rumbles from his chest before he tugs her swiftly into his embrace, locking his arms tightly around her. He won’t let her go. If he has to chain her by his side for the rest of his life, he will.
“I don’t care about our status. I love you,” he emphasized the three last words. He pulled away abruptly and cupped Y/n’s face to force her to look straight into his eyes, “I love you, Y/n.” His large hands gently tighten around her head, emphasizing his words. “I. Love. You. You, Y/n.” Satoru’s eyes softened and their touch lightened, “I have loved you for a long time and all these years.”
Y/n shut her eyes, tears spilled down her cheeks. “Satoru…” she wept quietly, “can you love someone like me? I am damaged.”
“Nonsense,” he growled, “you are not damaged at all.” Satoru was aware of the societal stigma associated with a woman perceived as ‘damaged’. Society would label her as such because of the limp she now bears.
“I am selfish,” Satoru whispered. “I am the reason why you now bear this limp for the rest of your life and I should do the right thing and let you go,” his fingers brushed her hair behind her ear, “but I cannot.”
“No my Lord – “
“But it is my life and my heart that I will offer to you,” his eyes stared deeply into her soft hazel ones, “I will give you everything I own, everything I possess,” he wiped her tears away, “so please, be with me. Stay with me. You are all I want. What I need to live.” He pressed her palm to his lips, “marry me, be my Lady, Lady Gojo.”
Y/n shut her eyes, tears rolled down her cheeks before she let out a soft sigh. She opened her eyes, and this time, they filled with hope, “you still wish to marry me even though I have no family and dowery to offer to you?”
“Yes. I have everything for us,” his blue eyes twinkle brightly. “You only need me and I only need you.”
She smiled, “yes, I only need you. I would love to marry you, my Lord.”
.
.
“What are you doing?”
Y/n froze as she poured water to fill the tub. “I am getting the bath ready?” She answered warily, she wasn’t sure why the head maid was stunned.
Sumiko quickly marched forward and gently took the bucket out of her hands, “my Lady, if Lord Gojo hears about you getting your own bath ready he will fire us all.” With a hand motion, four other maids entered the bathroom and began filling the tub with hot water. “I understand you have done this all your life but starting now, it will be far different. You must let us know and we will prepare it for you.”
Y/n nodded speechless as Sumiko guided her to the living room, “please wait here, my Lady. Give us five more minutes, we will have your bath ready.”
“Of course,” Y/n waited patiently until a voice informed her that her bath was ready.
Y/n was amazed that within five minutes they were able to fill the large tub with water and added essential oil that calmed the air in the room.
Putting her cane aside, she began to undress before entering the tub. Releasing a gentle sigh, she lowered herself further into the water until she was completely submerged.
Emerging slowly above the water’s surface, she gasped at the sight of Satoru standing before her, naked.
She gawked at his toned chisel body before looking away, cheeks reddening. Her arms crossed over her chest. She looked up at him again when he moved to step into the tub, her eyes catching a glimpse of his manhood, semi-erect. “My – my Lord…”
Satoru submerged himself up to his chin and moved towards her until he was in front of her. “Satoru.”
Y/n avoided his eyes, “o – okay…”
His lips curve upward, “say it.”
She looked into his eyes, confused.
“Say my name, Y/n.”
“S – Satoru…”
“Again.”
“Satoru.”
“Again.”
“Satoru. Gojo Satoru.” Y/n growled slightly frustrated at his persistent requests.
Satoru let out a chuckle, “that is all you can call me.”
“Don’t tease me,” she murmured, looking away.
Sitting down, Satoru grabs her legs and puts them on his lap. “But you look so adorable fluttered.” He grabbed her right foot and began massaging it. His grip tightened when she tried to pull away. “Relax, Y/n…”
She bit her lower lip and stopped struggling. “I’m – I’m not used to this…”
“Not used to what?” His thumb pressed into the arch of her foot and smiled when she let out a soft and quiet moan. “Not used to being pampered?”
“Y – yes…” she nodded, “having… things done for me… it is weird, my L – Sa – Satoru…”
A smile tugs the corner of his lips, “well, get used to it my love, you are my queen and you deserve to be treated like one.” His fingers shifted to her ankle and then her calf, and slowly his fingers reached the scar. He heard Y/n’s sharp inhale. “I was stripped away from you, I was weak then and could not protect you…” his thumb rubbed the long scar. “I am sorry.” He lifted her knee gently above the water and for the first time, he was able to see the horrendous scar. “If only…” his voice croaked, “if only you received the best care…” then you wouldn’t have a limp now, Satoru swallowed the rest of his words in silence, pressing his forehead against her knee. “Nothing will ever harm you again, I promise. I’ll protect you.”
A small hand lifted his head, “I believe you.”
Like a puppy, Satoru leaned into her palm. “I have waited for a long time to be with you again, I won’t ever let anyone take you away from me.” He moved closer to kiss her lips softly.
Y/n cupped his face, bringing him closer.
Satoru shifted over to situate himself in between her legs, his fingers tracing along her inner thigh until they reached her sacred moist spot. The tip of his fingers tickled her folds, his eyes on her, attentive to her reactions.
She let out a soft sigh, one of her hands trailing down his arm and to the hand waiting for her permission. She peered up at him at the same time as she guided his finger to slip past her folds. Her breath hitched at the intrusion but he continued to push his finger deeper inside her.
His heart beat loudly and rapidly as her warm and soft walls clenched around his finger tightly. Instantly, his cock became erect, begging to replace his finger.
Y/n’s soft whimpers encouraged him to pump his finger faster until he was easily slipping one finger through her tight hole, he added another finger. “Am – am I the first to touch you like this?”
“Yes. Yes, Satoru…” she confirmed, easing his anxiety away. “You – you are the only one I’ve ever wanted…”
His crystal blue eyes gleamed, and she left him speechless. She could make him weak to his knees for her.
His fingers continued to thrust in and out of her, her whimpers gradually turned into moans echoing softly throughout the bathroom. He pressed down on her clit, circling the needy nub until she trembled under his touch.
Her small body curled up, eyes shut tightly as her small hands covered her mouth to prevent her moans from leaking.
Satoru chuckled lightly to himself, finding her adorable.
Very gently, he withdrew his fingers and let out a shaky breath.
“Y/n,” he called her name in a pleading tone, she opened her eyes and stared into his darker blue eyes. Her eyes drop down, seeing his other hand fisting and stroking his hard cock. “Give me your permission, Y/n. Permit me to take you, and make you mine?”
Without hesitating, she nodded, “yes, Satoru – my body is yours…”
Satoru’s radiant smile caused Y/n’s heart to flutter; in her eyes, he was the most captivating man.
“I have been waiting for this moment and I cannot wait a second longer.” Satoru easily lifted her out of the water, stepping out of the tub. He set her down on her feet, an arm wrapped around her waist as he reached for her yukata and helped her slip it on. Once it was in place, Satoru swept her off her feet, carrying her like a child in the crook of his arm.
“S – Satoru!” Y/n exclaimed, wrapping her arm tightly around his neck. It shocked her that he could carry her with just one arm.
Without covering himself, he walked down the hall naked until he stopped in front of a door. “This is our room.”
Y/n gasped at the size of it, it was a large room filled with decorations and furniture. Against the wall was a platform bed.
“But we aren’t married yet?”
Laying her down in the middle of the bed, Satoru hovers over her, “we will soon. As soon as I can orchestrate it. I don’t want to wait another second without you being where you belong, in my arms every day and night.” He brought her hand up to his lips, pressing her knuckles to his lips. “I know I am being greedy, but please, don’t deny me.”
Y/n’s lips curve into a smile, “how can I? I could never refuse you before, how could I now?”
His head rests against hers as he closes his eyes and murmurs, “I can’t believe you’re really in front of me.”
Y/n’s nose intimately brushes his, “I can’t believe it either… it has been so long…”
The second Satoru opened his eyes again, they were once dark and filled with lust. His hand loosens her yukata, revealing her beauty. He first pecks her lips, chin, and chest before stopping at the valley of her breast. Both his hands grasp her bosom, groping them.
Y/n’s legs widen to accommodate his body, she gasped each time she felt something graze her sensitive clit. “’Toru…”
He missed his name as he was distracted by her perky dark pink nipples. Unable to decide which one he should first suckle, he opted for the left side first. He had been dying to taste her small nipples the moment he saw them during their bath.
Satoru moaned, swirling his tongue against it. He peered up, watching her face twist in pleasure.
Y/n whimpered when he shifted to the other nipple, she couldn’t believe how turned on she felt just from him suckling her bosom like a baby.
An image of a baby, with platinum white hair and blue eyes appeared before her imagination, her heart wanting nothing more.
“’Toru…” Y/n implored, “g – give me a baby… put a baby in me – please?”
When Satoru’s eyes bulged, Y/n felt foolish at her request. She looked away, hiding her face. “Ignore my request…”
Her eyes widened when she felt something push in between her legs, push into the passage where his fingers were thrusting in and out of moments ago. This time, it was of something bigger and thicker.
“Shh,” Satoru purred, slowly inching his cock deeper into her pussy. His body tensed at her tightness, thinking he had loosened her up enough to accommodate his cock.
He nearly lost his control at her request to put a baby in her. If he was honest with himself, the idea of children wasn’t on his mind. For several years, all he wanted was just to reunite with his love once again. To hear her innocent request, he was willing to oblige. He will give her as many of his children as she wants.
Satoru groaned when he could no longer push further into her pussy, she had taken all of him, just as she was meant to. He glanced between their now sweaty bodies, they were one, a unity. “Haa,” he choked, he shifted his weight to his elbows and knees so he would squish her. She was so tiny compared to him. Staring down at her, his whole body dwarfed hers.
He let out a husky chuckle, “my love, you humor me. You say that it is too early to share a room because we are not married yet but you request for me to put a baby in you…”
“Don’t – don’t tease me,” Y/n stammer, blushing. “Oh – Satoru… you’re – you’re so big…” her nails dug into the skin of his arms. She has been educated that the first time being intimate would bring discomfort but with time, it would bring nothing but pleasure. Letting out a deep breath, she relaxed her body the best she could. She looked into his dark eyes, “I love it…”
Satoru’s ears were ringing as he tried to control his urge to thrust. He was nearly coming undone at just being inside of her alone, he didn’t know how much longer he could hold off once she allowed him to move. “Love – love what?”
“I love how you feel… inside me,” she rested a hand against her bulging abdomen. “Here… I can feel you here.”
“Oh, Y/n…” Satoru groaned. “Please… let me move…” he begged.
Her arms wrapped around his neck, “do as you wish.”
Satoru kept a steady slow pace at first, giving her time to adjust to his movements. He was attentive to her moans and the way her body reacted before speeding up his hips.
The room filled with their sweaty skin slapping skin.
“Going to fill you up… fill you with my seed… give you my heir…” Satoru whispered hotly into her ear. His arms slipped behind her back, hugging her close as he neared his orgasm.
“Yes! Yes, Satoru!” Y/n chanted, widening her legs so he could impale her deeper.
Satoru’s body anchored her petite one down as his lower region was the only part pounding deeply inside her. The bed rocked with his hard and heavy thrusts.
“Ah,” they gasped in unison.
Lifting Y/n upward, he settled her on his lap, still embedded deeply inside her. She clung on to him while his cock continued to convulse.
Her head buried into his chest, she mumbled something he couldn’t understand.
“Hmm, what did you say?”
She lifted her head, her face flushed from their passionate lovemaking. “It was amazing…”
Satoru let out a laugh, Y/n joining him with her giggles. “I’m glad… you enjoyed it. There will be plenty more of it…”
.
.
.
E/N: This is going to be literally porn with a plot.
>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy
#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru fluff#gojo smut#gojo fluff#gojo angst#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader
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Slashers x child!reader [PLATONIC]
Characters: Thomas Hewitt, brothers Sinclair, Mark Hoffman
Tw: mention of murdering, violence, drinking
Thomas Hewitt
• You came to the Hewitts almost as a baby, you were the child of one of the victims. Surprisingly, you were left behind. Or rather, Luda stood up for it, she couldn't let them kill such a baby. Besides, she was always ready to take a new child under her wing again if he needed it.
• Thomas was a little confused, he couldn't figure out if he liked you or not. In general, he always wanted a family and children, but he knew that he would not have it because of his appearance and lifestyle. And so you came into his life.
• At first, he will be very hesitant about spending time with you in principle. He's just afraid of breaking you with your fragile baby bones. Besides, Thomas is not sure how to react to your frequent screams and tantrums, it pisses him off a little.
• Over time, he will really get used to you. A man will hold you in his arms most of the time if he is not busy working in the basement. Thomas will hold you tightly to his chest, clutching the diapers you were wrapped in, and looking down at you with warmth and love.
• Even if you screamed a lot when you saw Thomas's face, you always calmed down. It warmed his soul very much.
• The only problem was the food, because you were obviously very small and had to be breastfeed. Fortunately, there was enough dry mix in that victim's bag for the first time. Then Hoyt had to drive around the city.
• Thomas was very protective of you, always watching over you and taking care of you. You literally didn't get off his hands, constantly clinging to his clothes and long hair. He didn't mind. A man often kissed you on the forehead, gently stroking your tiny cheeks with his big hand. He loved hugging you so much and he was glad that you liked it too. Thomas's hands were carefully dressing you and washing your fragile little body. He never hurt you, not in any way.
• Thomas made a baby cot for you, which was in his room. Although you often liked to sleep with him. At such moments, you would unsteadily stand on your baby legs and stretch out your arms in his direction. The man's heart sank. He gently took you out of the cradle and put you next to him, hugging you protectively. You cooed and smiled as you fell asleep in comfort.
• Thomas was very happy about your first steps. It was difficult and slow, but he patiently sat on the floor two meters away from you and waited, arms outstretched in an embrace for you. When you finally found some kind of balance, you walked slowly towards him, giggling happily. You hugged him tightly. The man almost cried, watching the formation of his baby.
• He was looking forward to your first words, hoping that you would actually talk, unlike him. At first it was a strange babble of children. Thomas was almost sure that you would call Luda mom, even though the thought of it hurt him. When you said the awkward 'Dada', he started crying. Thomas hugged you tightly to him, kissing your baby face and body. God, you were so sweet, so precious. He felt such a pleasant warmth in his chest when you called him daddy, your daddy. Thomas thought he would die of happiness on the spot. Now you were his little ray of light, his child.
Brothers Sinclair
• You were the victim's child. Lester found you in the backseat of the car. He awkwardly picked you up and pulled you out of the car. He was the youngest brother in the family, so he understood absolutely nothing about children, he understood at most that what needed to be taken care of, for example, like a dog.
• Lester brought you to the Sinclair house. Vincent was in the workshop, and Bo was sitting on the couch, with his feet on a small table in front of the sofa, and enjoying drinking beer. The appearance of Lester, and even with a child, greatly strained him. Really, what should he do with such a baby? You didn't look more than five months old. Considering his childhood, Bo hated children, although he could take some care, after all, he participated in Lester's upbringing, one way or another. And it was still quite a big shock for him. There wasn't a single woman in town who could tell them what to do with you, the men were confused. When you woke up, you started screaming and crying. You were scared that your mom wasn't there. Rude men terrified you even more. I wanted to hide somewhere, but you couldn't do anything.
• The situation only improved when Vincent arrived. He was the most gentle and understanding of all the brothers. Vincent grabbed you out of Bo's rough hands with a little alarm, hugging you to him and stroking your head. Bo just rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen. You snuggled up to Vincent, feeling safe at last. You weren't crying anymore, but you were whimpering softly against his chest. You were scared and hungry. You clutched a man's clothes in your little fists, wanting to be comforted and cared for.
• Vincent, like the others, didn't know much about children. But unlike his brothers, Vincent was naturally quite sensitive and kind, he could not leave the child to these jerks. The man pressed you against his warm sweater, giving you peace of mind. He gently stroked your little body, checking for wounds or damage. Your diaper was full. Not the most pleasant part. Maybe you were really too scared. Vincent asked Lester to go back to that car and bring everything there that could be useful for the child. There was a whole bag of toys and baby food, as well as enough diapers and some clothes.
• Vincent immediately bathed you and gently changed your diaper and clothes. Then he fed you from a bottle. It was a little awkward, but he liked to see that you finally felt calmer. You were lying in his arms, making baby noises and greedily swallowing milk. Your eyes were red and swollen from crying. The man hugged you protectively, stroking your little tummy.
• In total, Vincent took care of you. He fed you, dressed you, and bathed you. Lester used to play with you a lot. Bo didn't pay much attention to you, he just went to the city to buy children's things.
• As you grew up, you started spending more time in Vincent's basement. You saw him without a mask and so gently grabbed his scarred cheeks with your soft baby hands, it made him cry. He now had a small cot in his workshop with lots of pillows and blankets. This is where you played while he was working. A man made you wax toys that you really liked. He even taught you how to sculpt wax yourself. Now you had your own little collection of wax ducks. You called Vincent Dad. When you did it the first time, he cried, hugging you tightly to him. Although Bo is sometimes very jealous of your brother, because Bo is just an uncle to you.
• You've become very friendly with their dog, Jesse. Jesse always protects you from the next visitors to the city.
• They tried to pick you up a couple of times. Once it was a married couple. The woman held you tightly in her arms, saying that these people in the city are monsters, and that she will become your mother and take care of you. You threw a tantrum asking Dad to come over. The couple almost ran out of town until Bo shot them in the back of the head. Vincent pulled you out of the dead woman's tight grip and held you close, stroking your hair. You cried and squeezed his neck, asking Dad not to leave you anymore.
• In general, you are a child who grew up in cruelty, but the Sinclairs themselves never raised a hand against you. You were cared for and loved. Bo especially loved giving you a lot of gifts. So you've grown up to be a mentally healthy child with them.
Mark Hoffman
• You turned out to be the child of his dead sister. At first, it even hurt a man to look at you because you looked so damn much like your mother. But he understood the responsibility. Mark realized that you are the only thing he has left of his sister. Besides, you didn't have any relatives anymore, and the man didn't want to take you to the orphanage. So he took custody of you.
• It was difficult. Mark was already tired with his job, so taking care of the child only added to his stress. But he tried. For you. For his sister's sake.
• When you were still young enough, a man often left you alone at home, even though he understood that it was unsafe. At that moment, his depression reached its peak, and he simply did not see any other way out. He started drinking. The man spent almost every evening at the bar, getting drunk to unconsciousness. It was after midnight when he returned home. Mark came into the apartment, heading to his bedroom, and your face greeted him. Your chubby baby cheeks were red and wet with tears, but as soon as you saw Mark, a slight smile blossomed on your face. You were already standing freely in your cradle, so when the man entered the room, you desperately stretched out your arms to him, muttering an inarticulate 'dada'. It broke a man's heart. In an instant, the intoxication was gone, and his whole being was filled with a vile sense of guilt. You were afraid to be alone, afraid of being abandoned again, and he was so brazenly leaving you alone in an empty dark apartment. But Mark couldn't help himself, he was in pain too. And so it is almost every day.
• When you went to kindergarten, he often picked you up later than everyone else. Fortunately, your teacher was a good woman and spent time with you personally, playing together. You were a smart and funny kid, but you still had trouble speaking, you didn't speak. Perhaps the fact that your 'dad' never responded to your attempts to talk to him because of your abilities influenced you.
• One day Mark got off work a little early, hoping to pick you up. He was standing in the hallway in front of your kindergarten room, his hand on the door handle. He saw you laughing while playing with the tutor in the playroom. You threw your arms around her neck and joyfully shouted "Mommy!". It broke Mark's heart. He was such a bad father, such a bad guardian. You drove home in silence this evening. Already at home, you didn't understand why Mark was so sad. You tried to hug him or ask for his hands, but the man just looked away. When he put you to bed, he knelt in front of your bed. The man took your little palms in his hands, kissing them gently. Tears were streaming down his cheeks.
"She's not your mommy... I know I made a mistake, but she's not your mom. Please.. don't do that anymore. I'll get better. I'm really going to get better. I treated you badly, I understand, but.. But I can't help myself. I miss her too, your mom.. the real mom..."
• You didn't quite understand what he was saying, but you leaned closer and put your arms around his neck. Mark hugged you convulsively, pulling you tightly to him and burying his nose in your hair.
• It got a lot better after that. Mark tried to drink less and spend more time with you. He took you to the park, amusement park, cinema and cafe. Now he knew the names of the characters in your favorite cartoons and bought you toys with them. The man bought you a lot of sweets and just treated you gently.
• "I want a balloon... Daddy!" Mark looked down at you and a pleased smile spread across his face when you first called him that. His chest was filled with warmth. He found a reason to keep living.
#slashers x reader#thomas hewitt#thomas hewitt x you#thomas hewitt x reader#the leatherface#child!reader#vincent sinclair x you#vincent sinclair x reader#vincent sinclair house of wax#vincent sinclair#bo sinclair x you#bo sinclair x reader#bo sinclair#lester sinclair x reader#lester sinclair#mark hoffman x you#mark hoffman saw#mark hoffman x reader
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It's really so insensitive when people that don't live in the U.S. find a post about school shootings or gun violence and they reply or comment that they're "glad they don't live in America" or when they talk about how much better their country is in relation to these issues. Like, you can obviously have that opinion, but people are dying, children are dying, and we're grieving the losses of these lives and the losses of our fundamental rights to conservative white men. And the thing you choose to say in this moment is how bad America is, when we know that better than you ever could?
#idk it's hard waking up in the morning and knowing that everything we've worked towards is slowly eroding#and knowing that children and parents have to wake up each morning and not feel safe#and every day we have to wake up and wonder is this the day where more of the rights we fought for are being taken away#txt#cloud talks#gun violence tw#death tw
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Those Jason crush hcs were so funny (obvi they were cute too) butJason getting so embarrassed he tried to crawl outside with 4 bullet holes and half his blood outside his body was such a mood. Me too dude. Can we have some more of him being delulu about his crush? It was so deliciously embarrassing and funny. What would happen if his wifey/husbando was just boldly was like- “Jason we're not dating, why would you think we were? We're not even having sex?”
EVEN MORE! When They're In Love Headcanons - Jason Todd
🕸️Spiderverse Masterlist🕸️
🐼JJK Masterlist🐼
~ Fem terms used for reader.
~ Mild smut alluded to but nothing explicit.
~ You can find parts One, Two, and Three here!
~ You can find more of my works here.
~ This is gonna be mostly fic bc I am running out of ideas lol. This took an inappropriate amount of time to write omg
~ Jay is kinda toxic so Tw: Unhealthy Relationships Dynamics, mentions of having children, slight violence, Jason is a freak and reader is tired.
By now, I've made it clear that this man is deep in the delusion.
But I haven't really gone into detail in what I mean by that.
I mean he'll say something teasing in jest, and if you reciprocate that energy even the tiniest bit, he will take that and run with it.
Though that's not even solid, bc if you take everything he says literally, he'd still think you're playing along.
Jason could make a joke with someone and not gaf about their response, but you could say the exact same thing as the person he joked with and he'd get heart eyes.
So far, I've kinda been writing with an oblivious reader in mind but a reader who knows all of Jason's delusions would pretty interesting lol.
You'd probably overhear him talking to Roy or Dick about your "date" last night.
Read: He broke into your apartment while you were at work and surprised you with chinese takeout when you got home.
I think if you confronted him about his delusions, he'd be willfully ignorant, and act like he doesn't know what you mean.
~ Drabble Starts Here. ~
Lian seems so happy, you can't bring yourself to be the bearer of bad news.
You're sat beside the little girl at her even littler table, the handle of a plastic teacup loosely gripped between your thumb and forefinger, your pinky high up in the air. The smile on your face is sincere as she mindlessly babbles, pouring sugar water into your cup.
You can't help but grimace when she encourages you and her stuffed animals to drink up, and you can't help but feel like the girl is being somewhat malicious when she seemingly starts interrogating you, only to push the cup of surgery water back to your lips whenever you to to answer her litany of, frankly, over-personal questions.
Some of the questions you don't mind, they're about as pure and unassuming as the pink princess tiara laying crookedly atop her head. It's when she asks if you and Jason are gonna get married and have babies with the most deadpan face you've ever seen on a child, that finally makes you choke on the (syrup) water.
"Excuse me?!" You ask, wiping away the mess on your face with a embroidered napkin and desperately trying not to hack up the rest of the beverage, undissolved grains of sugar still residing in the back of your throat. "Why would we do that?" You manage between coughs.
Lian glances towards Jason, who is sat at the table across from the two of you, his knees tucked up to his chest, as he hides his face behind his miniature teacup, though it's mostly ineffective, as the cup looks like a shot glass in his massive hand. Lian innocently looks back to you, as if you were the one who'd asked the more confusing question.
"Uncle Jay said you were dating. Isn't that what happens when people date?"
You crane your neck as you slowly turn your head towards Jason, who is avoiding your ice cold gaze like his life depended on it. "Oh, really?" You ask Lian through gritted teeth, though your gaze is solidly planted on Jason. "Did he now?"
"Mm-hmm," The small girl cheerfully nods her head, the dark braids framing either side of her face swinging from the force of her enthusiasm. "He told me you guys were gonna have a bunch of kids so I could have more people to play with!"
You can't help but stare incredulously at the child as she explains. By now, Jason's put down the cup, giving up at his attempt to hide behind it and simply covering his mouth with his hand, sitting silently like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs as he waits for you to start chewing him out. But it never comes.
"You are, right? I really want more friends." Lian's pleading is almost enough to make you change your mind and agree right there. Almost. As if sensing that she hasn't fully convinced you, Lian continues, going on and on about how she would be a really really good big sister or cousin if you had babies, or how much she's always wanted to go to a wedding, and how pretty you'd be as a bride, and-
She knows better than to continue when you gently raise your hand, as if you're silently saying "That's enough, Lian, please stop talking." You do feel a little remorseful as the girl's once happy demeanor changes to a shyer, more somber at the apparent rejection. You sigh and roll your eyes, finishing of the tiny cup of, what is now, pure sugar. "Maybe someday, Lian."
You put your hand up again, bracing her for the next part of your sentence when you see her start to get riled up again. "But absolutely no promises. Uncle Jay and I need to have a very important conversation later about it, though." That's enough to please Lian, as she goes right back to asking you other invasive questions that have nothing to do with your love life.
Jason, though happily surprised by your answer, stays silent over the next few hours. He honestly forgets you were ever even mad at him to begin with. It's not until you leave and the sky turns that familiar dark red, that you punch Jason in the arm as hard as possible, which, in all honesty, he can't really feel.
Though he does wince and hold his arm in the place where you hit him, to keep your ego intact if nothing else.
"What was that for?!" He dramatically gasps, pouting as he rubs the "sore" spot on his upper arm. Somewhere in the back of your mind you recognize it's kinda cute that he plays into your delusions. Just a little.
"Why would you tell Lian of all people we're dating?!" Your hand subtly clenches by your side, though you try to hide the slight pain punching him gave you, at the end of the day, Jason was raised by a detective. "Why would you even say that when you know it's not true?!"
"First of all," He starts, grabbing your hand. "I tell everyone we're dating." He starts soothing your sore knuckles as he tugs you towards your apartment building. He's so confident as he speaks it's genuinely bewildering. "And second, we are dating."
When he sees the utterly gobsmacked look on your face he continues. "We go on dates," (he just shows up at your home once a week. "We get gifts for each other," (he got you a stray kitten he rescued off the street and he steals your underwear). "We have sex-"
"Okay, number one: No we don't," You say, holding your hand out in front of you just like you did with Lian. "Number two: No we don't," You can almost see his eyes glaze over. He listens to every other thing you say, but when you're telling him your not together? That's when he tunes out.
"And number three: that only happened once!" It comes out a harsh whisper. Your face and ears feel hot with embarrassment, but Jason just shrugs. "Three times, actually, but who's counting?" Jason has a sweet, intentionally dopey looking smile.
You're left speechless by his demeanor. "Just kiddin' . . . I'm counting." He thinks the awkward, bewildered silence is hilarious. So he just keeps talking. "I mark it down in my calendar . . . Celebrate it once a month . . . Might get the dates tattooed."
"Jason." You interrupt.
"Hmm?"
"Go home." He looks over and realizes you're both in front of your apartment door, having talked the whole way. Again, he shrugs, pulling a spare key out of his pocket and moving to unlock your door. "Oh my fucking g-"
"What?" He stops, holding up the key midair. "What's wrong?" "Jason," You groan, rubbing your temples. "Why do you have a key to my apartment?" By now you shouldn't be so surprised, but you are. "Oh, this?" He hold up the key, equally confused that you would even ask. "I had one made when we started dating. How did you think I get in for our dates?"
He can almost smell the exhaustion wafting off you at this point. "Plus I live here."
"Jason you don't-"
"I'm just busy! I know, I know, I should be home more, but when I'm blah blah blah." No longer unused to his inane ramblings, you unlock the door and push past him. You don't even stop him when he follows you inside, still going on about his delusions. You just roll your eyes when he takes of his shoes and jacket and tosses them aside like they he really does live there.
"You shouldn't make dinner, you've had a long day, we can order-"
He's interrupted by yet another sigh. "Jason," you begin, plopping down on the couch. He shuts up and listens intently to every sound coming from your mouth. "I just . . ." You sit up straight. "You don't live here, you're a stalker, and we are not dating." Jason nods as you talk, slowly, as if he's taking in what you said.
"I . . . I understand. I really am sorry I've upset you, but," He kneels on the ground in front of you, gently placing his hand on your thigh. "I am not a stalker." He's incredulous, and you're tired. At this point, what more can you do beside oblige him and his delusions. You sigh again, a deep, deep sigh that instantly drains you of the rest of your energy and makes you deflate into the couch. "Okay, Jay," You say, undressing as you stand and begin walking back to your room. "You win, you're my boyfriend. Goodnight."
Jason just happily nods as he watches you walk to bed. "Yeah, yeah, I win." He's just happy you finally came to your senses. "Night!" He happily calls after you.
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Welcome to Silent Hill - Part 1
TF141 x gn!reader
Series masterlist
TW: MDNI 18+, canon typical violence, canon typical horror, threat, body horror, injury detail, mental instability, memory loss
You blink your eyes open, head ringing with a strange sound that quickly fades as you see the pale light around you. Something claws at the edge of your mind, cold and decaying, a smell of coppery sharpness but it fades quickly. After a moment you manage to focus and push past the disconcentering sensations, but your vision refuses to clear. Swirling white and grey curl before your eyes no matter how many times you blink, and for a moment you panic you’ve gone blind until you lift your hands up and see them before you.
Relieved you sit up and realise you are surrounded with a dense fog, damp air touching your skin and making you shiver through your thin clothes. This is why you can’t see, there is nothing to see beyond a short distance as the fog swallows everything around you, leaving you sitting on a damp patch of tarmac. Panic plucks at your heart as disorientation grips you. Where are you?
Pressing a hand to your forehead you try to remember where you were before you’d opened your eyes. But everything behind your eyes hurts, pain lancing through your skull when you try to think of anything before this very moment. It is like the fog is inside your skull, smothering your memories, and hidden blades slice at your thoughts.
Clambering to your feet, heading spinning slightly, you look around to get what bearings you can. You’re on a road, grass growing either side, white fog obscuring anything beyond that. As you turn to look behind you a large sign looms out of the fog, giving you the only option on where to go to find help. So with no better options available, you trudge stiffly towards the direction of the sign.
‘Welcome to Silent Hill’ it reads.
By the time you make it into the town your feet are tired and sore, and there are dark spots swimming across your vision from the constant white glare of the fog. You’ve never seen anything like it, the fog makes you feel as though you are walking around in a bubble, with no idea what is beyond its boundary.
Buildings suddenly begin to appear either side of you, no lights on behind the doors and windows, and not another living thing in sight. A terrible unease slithers across your skin. There are no people around despite the obvious signs of habitation; cars sit in driveways, children’s bicycles lean against fences. You stumble past a child's playground, the swings rock back and forth slightly as though just abandoned, but no one is there.
Its then you realise there are no barking dogs, no cats, no birds… The whole place feels as though it is holding an inhaled breath, waiting to release it and suddenly return to life. The whole place is waiting for something, but what?
For what feels like the hundredth time you fumble your phone out of your pocket and stare at the black screen, hoping that somehow that useless brick has come back to life. A crack runs across the screen that wasn’t there before, atleast you don't think it was, and it refuses to come on. Either the battery is dead or the whole thing is broken.
Oddly you wish you could see the lock screen, see if there is a photo of a loved one on the screen as you struggle to recall anything about yourself. You know your name, and that you have never been here before, wherever here is, and that is all you know without pain boiling behind your eyes.
“Hello?” you call from time to time, probably not as loud as you should. The fear of being heard is almost as much as not hearing an answer. “Hello? Is there anyone here?”
Its impossible to tell how long you’ve been walking beyond how tired and thirsty you are, and your heart jumps when you find a corner shop in the main street. The door stands partly open and a single lightbulb glows weakly above it. It’s too tempting to pass up as your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth, it’s so dry.
You duck inside the doorway, having to push hard to get the door to open enough for you to squeeze through, although there’s no obvious reason for it to stick so badly. It creaks loudly when it suddenly lurches open, and you freeze at the sudden loud noise.
“Hello?” you call again, but there’s no answer. Biting your lip you push into the store, relieved to find items on the shelves neatly lined up as though this were a normal day. Greedily you grab at the water bottles by the check out and gulp down the contents of one, until your thirst is satiated, stuffing another into the pocket of your jacket.
A shuffling sound catches your attention, making you very aware you’ve just broken into a shop and stolen from it. Guiltily you creep towards the doorway to peer outside, and see the outline of a person moving in the fog. The figure shuffles slowly forward, the pale light from behind it casting it in silhouette as it lumbers slowly towards you with an uneven, limping gate.
“Hey, I’m… I’m sorry for letting myself in. The door wasn’t locked,” you hedge, voice faltering slightly so you stop and swallow, waiting for them to answer. They say nothing, just edge closer, the person’s odd, jerking movements setting the hairs on your neck on end.
“Look, I really am sorry but I’m lost and I needed water. I can PayPal you or something when I get home,” you say, irritated at the lack of response and the uneasiness that sweeps over you. Again, silence from the figure but it’s closer now, something odd about the appearance beginning to spark your self-protection instincts. The person is moving very strangely, their arms are tucked inside their jacket and not moving, almost as though they are stuck to their torso.
A low, groaning noise drifts into your ears as it gets nearer. A horrible rattling underneath it, like the drawing of someone’s final breaths, and that’s when the floodgates of panic burst free in your chest
“Never mind,” you blurt and move backwards hoping to push the door shut again but it refuses to budge, and the figure lurches forward. Light from the bulb above the door hits the stranger, pouring sickly illumination over the decaying, wet skin encompassing the distorted figure. It is not human, not anymore, if it ever was. What arms it might have are trapped inside the skin of its torso, no features are visible on the face but it follows you as though it can see. In the middle of its chest, a long slit quivers like lips from chest to navel, and something bubbles and oozes from it.
You scream and push the door frantically trying to close it, trapped behind the glass as a noxious spray erupts from that unholy and inhuman mouth, making the pane hiss and boil. The stench of death and corruption that comes from that spray makes your stomach lurch, and you stagger back from the door falling firmly on your backside. You scramble backwards, coming up against a set of shelves and staring in horror at the thing.
With a hissing, clicking noise the creature pushes at the stuck door, trying to get to you but is hampered by its odd shape and lack of arms. You sit, helpless, watching as it writhes and shifts against the clear glass of the door, a crack shooting across the pane with its efforts.
More figures shift in the fog behind it, moving up behind the monster, and your heart seizes. They’re crouched and distorted in the fog, and you squeeze your eyes shut not wanting to see whatever is about to kill you. A buzzing, electronic noise accompanies the approaching shapes, putting your teeth on edge as it slices through the air.
An ear shattering screech tears through the air, making you flinch and curl into yourself as you await death. Heavy thuds and grunts follow, along with the shattering of the glass.
“Mind that black stuff it’s spitting!” a human voice, deep and gruff, carrying authority in every syllable.
“Rog!” answers another voice, rougher and much closer to you. With your eyes closed against whatever is happening, the sounds of wet, meaty smacks are inescapable and then punctuated with the breaking of more glass. Then suddenly all sounds stop along with the buzzing sound, and you are very much alive still.
“You alive?” A deep, gravely male voice asks you over the sharp snicking of glass crunching under foot. Shaking, you look up at a hulking shape stooped over you, an exposed skull leering down at you in place of a face and you cannot stop the scream that boils up your throat.
“Better let someone else take over, Lt,” another voice calls from behind the apparition, and it steps back with a disgruntled noise, a very human noise. It’s enough to stop you mid-cry for help.
“Yeah, reckon so,” he says, before turning away from you with what could pass for a snort. It’s replaced with a man in a military uniform with a beard.
“You okay?” he asks, crouching down infront of you but keeping back. Blinking you realise that they are in fact human, all four of them wearing miltary uniforms, tactical vests and carrying guns. Two of them are wiping vicious looking combat knives clean.
“You’re soldiers,” you force out in confusion, and the bearded man nods with a small smile, appearing happy to hear you speaking.
“Yeah, that’s right. Are you a local?” he asks with an odd casual tone. He’s trying to keep you calm, you realise. You shake your head dumbly in response.
“Do you know this place?” he presses you, clearly in need of information himself.
“I… I don’t know,” you admit. “I woke up on the road and followed it here. I’ve been looking for help but… there’s no one here,” fear makes your words speed up, panic adds a frantic edge to them. “There’s no one here, no people, nothing living! Just those… those…” you can’t finish the sentence and tears well with the turmoil in your head.
“Easy now, it’s okay,” he gently says, patting a heavy hand on the back of yours. The rough fabric of his glove feels real enough that you can focus on it, trust it almost, not to be a delusion.
“We don’t know how we got here either,” he admits. “Our helo came down just outside of town when this fog came out of nowhere and the pilot lost control. We shouldn’t be here… wherever here is. I’m Captain Price, you’ve met Ghost,” he nods to the huge man with the skull mask over his face. “They’re Gaz and Soap.” The other two barely spare you a nod as they watch the surroundings.
“So you weren’t sent to deal with whatever is going on here?” you ask him despite his story. The hope that someone knew what is going on is dashed, and you feel a new wave of despair.
“No, this place wasn’t on our route…” he begins but stops, a deep frown knitting his brow and turning to an annoyed scowl. “Whatever is going on, we don't know any more than you it seems.”
“Maybe it’s that fog? A gas leak, or underground fire or something like that,” you suggest, and you notice Ghost and the Captain exchange a look. Glass crunches under the heavy boots of the three men walking around the store. You notice them pick up water bottles and pocket them the same way you had earlier.
“We’d considered that already. Best we try and get out of here just in case,” he nods. “Someone else can come and sort it out once we can get in contact with the outside world.”
“Can’t you just call someone? More army people like you?” you push him wanting to know someone has a handle on the situation.
“Does your phone work?” he replies with a raised brow.
“No. No, its dead,” you tell him with a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach,
“Same with ours,” Gaz chips in from behind the Captain. “All of them, dead. None of the landlines we’ve tried work either.”
“That’s not… normal,” you say quietly, and Price presses his lips together giving you a quiet, searching look.
“We should get moving in case any more of those things turn up,” Soap says with a Scottish accent.
“C’mon,” Price says, gripping your arm firmly and pulling you up to your feet with ease, “stick with us. We’re going to find a way out of here together.” You follow them through the shattered remains of the door, stepping over the mangled remains of the creature. Stab wounds leak black ichor onto the ground, which smokes and chars slowly. One of the men nudge you to make you move past it, not that you noticed you’d stopped.
“What if more of those things are out there?” you ask, trotting to keep up with the group once you are moving along between them. Each one of them is bigger than anyone you've met before, in height and sheer bulk, and you feel slightly better having them near.
“There are, we’ve dealt with a few already,” Gaz tells you. “Luckily for us we know where they are before they spot us.”
“How is that possible?” you ask in disbelief, glad to have someone to talk to after the eerie silence. The glaring light from the fog makes your eyes water as you look between them.
“The radios,” Ghost rumbles, tapping the device secured to his vest. “Something about them causes radio static when they get near. Gives us the advantage.” You hear, rather than see, a wicked edge to his voice and you imagine a grin under the mask he wears.
“We lost our pilot to one of those creatures before we worked that out,” Price interjects solemnly. “Let’s cut the chatter and pick up the pace.” His face is grim, concern etched into the furrows of his brow as he urges everyone up the street you had been following.
You feel as though you should be more comforted by the presence of soldiers, carefully glancing at the weapons they carry, but something whispers at the edge of your hearing. It's a mournful sound that wails and calls to you, warning you of what's to come in this strange place.
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#silent hill x call of duty au#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#john soap mactavish#cod mw22#cod mwii#ghost call of duty#sergeant kyle gaz garrick#captain john price#captain price mw2#captain price#john price#john price mw2#john price cod#tf141#cod fanfic#task force 141#tf 141#gn!reader#call of duty soap#cod mw soap#silent hill#silent hill 2#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty#call of duty au#call of duty fic#call of duty ghost
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. . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 RIDE IT, FOLLOW MY LEAD ; a nakahara chuuya fic.❞
˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . here, a chu fic.. in my defense, i blame my upcoming exams and busy schedule for posting so late.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw ; older brother's bestfriend!chuuya, fem!reader, nsfw, mutual pinning but confessions aren't direct, riding, cowgirl, virginity loss, mentions of consensual prostitution, spitting (not in mouth), angst and yeah that's all i can remember.
many things are kept away or hidden from children. drugs and intoxicated substances are usually tried to keep away from the reach of addicts and the lust for blood and itching for violence is desperately being avoided by a one time murderer with crooked morals.
yet the outcome remains the same most of the time with the forbidden being taken by the one it was supposedly kept away from is the one they acquire. it's a given in due course of time.
yet still chuuya watched for years as your brother tried to play the role of a protective brother and keep you away from most of his friends and social circle, the amount of his friends you met could be pathetically counted on one hand and even they haven't met you many times to actually put an identity and persona to your face except the title of being their 'friend's little sister.'
all but one.
"shit." your brother curses lowly, closing his eyes as he tried to find a way out of this sudden complication. he opened his eyes again and glared at you who showed up unannounced.
"i-i just wanted to surprise you -- i --"
and even now the ends of chuuya's lips quirk up when he saw you standing while gulping, cowering under your brother's glare.
"it's not about coming here unannounced or announced, it's about what would have happened if you didn't know your way? you would have been lost here and i wouldn't have a clue because i would be drunk out of my mind! you hear me?" your brother exclaimed loudly yet you don't fight like you usually do for each syllable he spoke, he raised the frequency of his voice to get his words across your brain.
"i am sorry --"
"i am not angry." your brother intrupted your apology but with the way imaginary annoyance dripped down his eyes as he continued to glower down at you told you anything but that.
"i can stay at a hotel or --"
"nonsense. i am not letting my sister stay at a cheap hotel when her brother has a good enough place for her to stay." your brother once again intrupted you, he glanced at the clock and furrowed his eyebrows.
"not good, there is an hour we have left to think of some solution." your brother muttered before he turned to look up at the second floor where the two rooms are -- one belonging to him and one to chuuya.
"well the solution is standing infront of you bastard." the boastful voice belongs to the red haired who spreaded his arms and looked at your brother with eyebrows cocked, faux offense painted all over the preety features which michelangelo would be in awe of and be inspired by.
your brother mimicked his best friend by raising his own eyebrows as he demanded the man before him to answer and make his point clear and maybe this is why he turned a blind eye to the way your eyes sparkles as you stare at the red haired man who you always favored over any other man.
"she can stay with me in my room till your party is finished, no?"
"you won't be attending?" your brother furrowed his eyebrows but didn't bother saying anything as he saw chuuya walk towards you and sling an arm over your shoulder.
"i rather not have iguana cling onto me. plus it's been so long since i last saw doll, let me catch up with her?" chuuya looked at you with the same gentleness which could be found in your brother's eyes when you aren't looking at him and your brother's eyes soften.
he is staring at the man who he could trust his life with, you with.
"iguana?" you repeat, a smile threatening to break onto your face at the joy of knowing chuuya and your brother still hold onto their silly habit of giving nicknames to people so they can shit on them later
"yeah doll, iguana is a verrrrry mean and bitchy girl." chuuya widened his eyes playfully to faux seriousness, comfortingly squeezing your forearm as he joked with you.
the tragedy started when the poverty ridden man found illegal means to acquire quick cash to fill his stomach.
and tragedy began when your brother, a man of looks and a bad personality which rich girls usually swoon over met his pandora's box and never closed it for what easy way to make money then to be the fantasy of girls who eat french cuisine for breakfast, italian for lunch and japanese for dinners? and who can make him experience success better then those boys who drives ferraris in the day and spend the nights in bmw's with a girl on their laps?
prostitution on his own will where he is the abuser and he is the abused. he is the hopeless in a situation fabricated by your parents but you don't need to know it. any of it. for he would prefer if you still saw him as the brother you always knew, he is enough to feel disgusted by himself and chuuya is enough to have sympathy for him.
that exchange took place fifty five minutes ago and so this was why you are now laying on chuuya's bed after taking a shower, arms and legs spread as you stared up at the ceiling, basking in the silence of the room and the giddiness of your heart of being in the room of the one who first made you swallow the innocent drink of a crush which stirred into a drug of love.
the door to the room opened to pull you out of your lovesick and teenage girl like thoughts, you leaned your head up to see chuuya enter, half body inside the room while the other remained outside in a very obvious way to tell you that he had been stopped by someone on his way to the room.
you sat up, leaned a bit forwards to hear the voice of the man who made goosebumps to litter your skin,
"yeah man, kinda don't feel good today or i would've joined the party for sure." chuuya chuckled and exchanged a few more short words with whoever he is talking to before he turned around to face you, closing the door and locking it as well.
you tilt your head as you hear the click indicating the door is locked and safe from outside intruptions and chuuya grins, the same boyish grin which promised nothing but thrill and excitement from all those years ago and it sturred the same feeling of being smitten with the man infront of you who now stood right infront of you, hands on his knees as he leaned to be on the same eye level as you.
"just making sure no drunk bastard barges here doll. can't i be protective of the precious doll in my room?" chuuya is a big tease. a very big and mean tease for if not then why would he play with the fire that is your heart by caressing your cheek with his knuckles.
you immediately look away to distance yourself from the addicting touch of the attractive and fanciable man, eyes falling on the skateboard leaning against the wall instead.
"you still skate?" you ask as you try to change the topic but chuuya had never been one to be easily stirred away from his goals, his knuckles still felt the smoothness and roughness of your skin. his eyes were still trained on your face as he stared, earnestly.
"gotta have something up my sleeve to impress you, no? my doll is getting prettier every time i see her, i gotta work to maintain my position as your favorite, yeah? am i still your favorite?" he teases you and it's at moments like this which makes you be aware of the tease which he is, his words which drips with playful flirtation. oh shit, you feel your heart beating quicker.
chuuya nakahara is the type of guy daughters are kept away from. older, a tease, someone who isn't afraid to talk using their fists when words fail to make a point clear and a foul mouth to combine with his devilish features.
the devil may wear prada but chuuya nakahara wears a leather jacket and choker.
yet he is also the same boy who you met all those years ago when he first moved to your area, the guy you introduced your brother to and watched them clicking instantly to even watching them leaving together for university.
"you were and will always be my favorite." you mumble and nearly feel the charms of the man named chuuya choking you when he tilts his head as he heard you before he grinned, reassurance and confidence flowing through his veins and mixing with his blood.
"you are my favorite girl too, doll. my only girl." chuuya whispered in a tone which can be imagined to be close to a murmur and a whisper, as his words were meant only for you to hear.
he relished in seeing you squirm under his intense gaze as you looked away and chuuya furrowed his eyebrows in amusement as he saw your lingering stares at his skateboard increase, he asked,
"wanna try it?" gently oh gently did the wind blow through the garden you sat alone in or is it chuuya's loving voice that is stirring emotions in the garden of feelings of your heart?
you shake your head softly but he pouts, he saw the intrest glinting in your eyes.
so he does what he does best. making girls fall for him and his charms but there is only one he will catch from falling into the abyss of heartbreak.
"come on, i am gonna be there to catch you. trust me doll." why is he suddenly being so adamant, he doesn't know. but he does know that he should be viewing you as the little sister of his bestfriend and not as an insanely preety woman in his room.
the woman infront of him right now was previously the girl he used to carry on his back whenever he and your older brother used to go out and took you with them.
chuuya's eyes trail down your neck to your collarbones to those two sinful mounds on your chest which makes it very evident that you aren't the pubescent girl anymore but an actual grown woman.
and what better way to greet himself with this better reminder that the woman infront of him is the sister of his best friend than to indulge in innocent activities with her like he used to?
but your stubbornness to remain seated and not cause any noise which could possibly ruin whatever party your brother is having downstairs is being a big hindrance in this self realization trip chuuya wants to take his heart on.
for would he really break his bestfriend's trust like this even after knowing he is the only person your brother could blindly trust you with?
no, he can't.
chuuya playfully rolls his eyes to make it seem as if his inner self isn't torn between choosing what's right for his heart or what's right for his conscience, he extended his arm as if reaching for a decision but what good is it when both include you?
chuuya's hand wraps around your wrist as he pulled you to stand up and when you widen your eyes in surprise at his action, he wonders if you are walking on the same thin rope of desire and conscience.
"i will catch you from falling." chuuya muttered but the way his voice is low, his usual teasing and playful tone absent, can one really be ignorant to think he is still talking about the skateboard?
"always?" you whisper out and isn't it great that you two have a skateboard to use as a decoy for speaking about matters much deeper then the wood the said skateboard was craved from?
"i'll be damned if i don't." chuuya whispered and smiled before his smile faltered a bit and he chuckled nervously, this chain reaction of emotions within him made you feel as if you are the only one who wants to push the boundaries to the point of no return while he is comfortable with where you two stand right now.
you nod, not as excited as chuuya hoped to see but he doesn't let this bring his mood down, instead, he releases his grip on your forearm to hold your hand instead, leading you towards his skateboard which was proped against the wall.
chuuya leaned down to pick it up and as he did so, his hand brushed against your knee which made you gulp the shaky breath which were to leave your mouth to let chuuya know the effect of his touch on your body, trapping the breath inside your chest forever.
"i never tried skateboarding." you feel it's appropriate to let him know in advance of what an immature and inexperienced student he will be dealing with but chuuya stood straight after placing the skateboard on the ground, one leg on the skateboard while the other was on the floor, he waves his hand.
"this is why i want to be the one to teach you doll. trust me, yeah? i'll catch you before you fall."
and what could you do except nod, trusting the man as you grabbed his hand which he offered, you looked down at the skateboard and with a uncomfortable feeling gnawing at your heart, you slowly raised to place one of your feets on it, going for the centre of the board till chuuya stopped you,
"not here, near the ends. if you stand on the centre then you will loose your balance." he guided you as your heart felt a violent flutter when you noticed his leg which was still planted on top of on the skateboard to offer you stability on this otherwise unstable object of joy and amusement.
you nod and tightened your grip on his palm as you placed your leg on the end of the skateboard while his remained on the other end and he stood behind you, the free hand of his itching to close the distance between his palm and the curve of your waist.
"good, now try to lift your second leg up as well, put the weight on this one." he pats your thigh of the leg planted on the skateboard and you gulp, out of fear or out of desire?
chuuya didn't notice you biting your bottom lip for he was looking down at your shaky leg with his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, he muttered next to your ear,
"come on, try it." the gravel and low tone one of the man had you nearly closing your eyes but you resisted, the grip on his hand tightened even more as you lifted your leg from the ground for the slightest second before yelping, grabbing onto chuuya's arm with both hands as you felt your body shake due to the rawest taste of feeling the control you have over your body leave you as gravity plays a little trick on you to take advantage of the instability of your body.
but chuuya has always been the one to have an effect more stronger then gravity on you, it's like gravity bends to his will.
so it isn't a shock when chuuya's arm is wrapped around your waist as he pulls your body towards his, chuckling breathlessly as if he just recovered from being taken aback,
"easy there doll, i got you." he whispers, you nod.
he makes you regain your balance and you allow him to lead, his hand on your hip while you remained clasping one of his hands with your own to have support.
the hand on your hip tightened its hold and you wonder if it's how it would feel to have him grip you while your naked bodies laid sprawled with each other's?
"slowly . . . slowly, yeah, that's it . . . right there, such a good girl." chuuya guided you but your brain is salacious or why would your thoughts revolving your older brother's bestfriend be filled with concupiscence?
but alas, had the heart not been strong to a fault, would the humankind have gone through the many tragedies and achievements it did?
and chuuya's heart always had a hold on his brain so when he spoke the next sentence, it is utmost important to know his intentions behind it, he does when he does in a spur of emotions, of his desires which tickled him whenever he looked down to see his hand grabbing your hip and he almost had a urge to lift the cloth of your loose t-shirt up to see the skin his hands are on top of.
"did you kiss anyone while i was away?" he rapsed out and gulped thickly when he realised his words but what is giving him confidence to keep going on is the way he heard your breath hitch despite the blaring music from downstairs. and so he did.
"pardon?" you breath out and blinked.
"i will pardon you, no doubt in that." chuuya smirked, once he saw you purse your lips with no signs of discomfort or anything related to it on your face, "eyes on the skateboard doll." he tsked.
"right, right." you breath out as if being shaken awake from whatever daze you went in after listening to his words. now that chuuya's feet wasn't on the skateboard any longer, you felt even more nervous and scared.
"so did you? you know it's not nice to not answer someone." he mumbled, using his leg to guide your other leg on top of the skateboard.
his knee is pressed against the back of your's as he moves your leg sideways to find the perfect position for you to stand in without wobbling constantly, all while the other hand gripped and gripped your hip more tightly and the thought that it would be sure to leave a mark, his mark, is making his breathing pattern to be disturbed, hastening it's pace.
"no." you shakily breath out before repeating yourself in a more presentable and audible tone, "no i didn't, did you?"
you screwed your eyes shut, the instinct to show the same curiosity he did took the best of you and once the words were spoken, you were left all alone with your embarrassment in your body.
chuuya scooted a bit closer to you as if he wasn't already way too close then needed but who were you to point it out when you liked the body heat he radiated and the smell of his cologne faintly hitting your nose, but this step closer to you made his crotch to brush against the plush of your ass and you did everything to not grind against him or try to feel his crotch again.
"i didn't as well." he whispers, head dipped to such an angle that when he spoke, his breath hitted your jaw and is this how consuming cocaine for the first time feels like as well?
no wonder they are taboo and kept away from the curious minds.
"why? you are such a preety guy, don't you have girls begging to fall on your lap?" your curiosity couldn't be stopped now once it flowed out of the chambers of your brain. now, this curiosity flowed out and wrapped around chuuya's heart to make it feel giddy to know you care enough to be this invested in his personal affairs.
"ah," you exclaim as he makes you stand on the skateboard, your imbalance leading you to grabbing his shirt but as he stood behind you and you grabbed the nearest support you could find, you did not realize your grip was painfully near the waistband of his sweatpants because what need is there for you to look back when you were able to feel the faint outlines of his abs through the fabric of his cloth?
he helped you to stand on the skateboard and when he moved back to make you stand without his support, your knees wobbled and you widened your eyes as you were to fall backwards if it wasn't for chuuya to wrap his arms around your hips.
"got the girl i wanted to have on my lap finally." chuuya mused before helping you stand again, his hands on your hips as he stares down at your legs before he leaned down a bit to place his hand on top of your knee and your eyes widened for why would they not when your drug is flowing though your veins and into your kidney?
chuuya guided you to the position he deemed right before he stood up straight and as he did, so did the impure blood which was now once again filtered yet why did the drug still flow with it? why did it not get filtered?
you exhale a shaky breath as chuuya takes a step back after and you wobble on your feet but remain standing in place.
lines are being blurred. drugs are being inhaled and their intake is high. sin is in the air and chuuya is behind you. you are on a thin line and you loose or win is up to you. whether you fall or not is something only time will tell.
sin didn't just randomly appear, no, but it was excreted out by chuuya's brain and now the same sin of concupiscence was being felt by you too but the only difference is that chuuya has the confidence to act upon it and you don't.
"what? cat got your tongue all of a sudden?" chuuya mocked and oh, the words of mockery went straight to your cunt. "you used to talk a lot when we were kids, it was honestly so cute."
chuuya saw from his peripheral vision how his words resulted in you to bite your bottom lip to not release a breath which would come out a bit too shaky, he sucked in his inner cheek for he wanted you to react to his words and you weren't so he guesses he would need to push you a bit more.
chuuya lightly pushed the skateboard with his heel and you squealed. chuuya immediately wrapped his hands around you again but this time his hands were on your upper abdomen, just a bit from grabbing your boobs.
"easy there, doll." chuuya released a breathy laugh and you suck in air and your annoyance for how is it fair for you to be this hot and bothered by his teasing while he looks like he is having the time of his life?
"perhaps you aren't doing a good job at teaching me chu." you mumble only for the purpose to earn a reaction from him which you do but not in the way you wanted but you aren't one to complain for his cocky attitude as chuuya cocked his eyebrows in amusement at your words, is something no one could deny from finding attractive.
"i think so too, maybe i am being a bit too soft with you?" chuuya played along with your pathetic attempt as he finds areas of concern within himself, he helped you stand again and the sight of your figure shaking as you tried to stand steadily on the object is cute in his eyes.
"please hold me." your request is not innocent at all, or well, that's what chuuya thinks when your tone used is breathy and low but nevertheless, the cocaine in your blood does it work to strip away your troubles, chuuya's hands once again find their favorite spot ; your hips as he stands in a proximity so close that your heart busted with joy when you felt the outline of his chest on your back.
"what a greedy girl, aren't you a bit too demanding?" chuuya smirked and you could feel it in that cocky tone of his.
"you made me like this by giving into my every need." you whisper out as his voice is doing wonders on you, stimulating and making you shy but where rationality surrenders, arousal takes over.
this is why you placed your hand on top of his under the disguise of being 'scared' as you tilted your head back to rest it on his shoulder and looked up at him, whispering, "what should i do now?"
with a gulp, chuuya's faltered smirk returned as he rubbed his nose against your cheek, "the hardest thing when riding a skateboard -- for me -- was to stop. so let's teach you that first? hm?"
closing your eyes for the way he hums has you going crazy, you aren't sure if you want him to see your eyes exposing your true feelings for him but chuuya did, anyways, he knew it the second he had slinged his arm over your shoulder and watched you become the schoolgirl you once were as you shyly stood beside him.
chuuya is smart. and for a certain pair of siblings, he had always been the most observant and always on his heels if they needed help.
like a dance, chuuya pushed the skateboard gently with his heel while his hands remained on your hips and your's on top of his, now chuuya and you both knew this wasn't actually how one was supposed to ride a skateboard but it served as a good disguise to keep on feeling each other up.
"i don't want to do this anymore." you sigh, craning your neck to look at him with a pout on your lips, you temptress, you were just begging for chuuys to let go of his rationality and lean down to kiss you, weren't you?
"come on, don't give me that. you were looking at the skateboard so much and you used to always accompany us when we went skateboarding back then as well." chuuya tells as he takes a strand of your hair and twirls it on his index finger but bites off a smile when you shake your head.
"i don't really care much about skateboarding. i just liked looking at you riding it." you had confessed your childhood long secret of accompanying them with the purpose of letting your eyes drink in the sight of the then teenager who laughed cockily at your brother who gaped at him and another one of his tricks he performed on the skateboard, chuuya would laugh only louder when his eyes would trail towards you to see you looking at him the same way your brother would but the only difference would be that your stare would stir a feeling in him which would end with blush on his ear shells and cheeks.
now chuuya knew of your 'admiration' and 'fondness' for him. hell, he even knew of your feelings for him but what he did not know was how deeply and far back were they rooted into your heart. so he blinked.
you sighed as you saw his baffled expression and raised your head to stop resting it on his shoulder and if chuuya wasn't busy in repeating your words over and over again, he would've whined.
he froze, sure, but your thinking of the reason being awkwardness and utter surprise at your confession is not correct even in the slightest, he is frozen due to how the scene is playing out. chuuya knew of your feelings towards him as stated before and he had, ever since your brother broke the news of you coming to live with them to him, been imagining different ways of how the confession from both sides would go.
what he never thought was it happening during a moment of utter lust and attempts of breaking confinements, which, in this case happens to be their own conscience.
you run a hand through your hair, "well the cat is out of the bag." you shrug, disappointment is way too close to find a home inside your body. you smile helplessly as you look down at how you are standing steadily on top of the skateboard before muttering so only chuuya could hear though maybe it would've been better if he didn't, "i am helplessly in love with you, always were. i don't have intrest in skateboarding -- i just liked seeing you on it. i got offered to stay at the dorms near the university but i declined because i wanted to stay under the same roof as you . . . " you trail off, getting off the skateboard before turning around to face him.
your action is useless if you aren't actually going to look into his eyes and continue to stand with your head dropped low.
"i was excited. till i came here. chu . . ." you look up at him, eyes which he once dreamt of staring into his in classes he found boring, now stared at him but his dream didn't come true for your eyes didn't hold the spark he wanted to see in them, " . . what are you and my brother hiding? why are you so hesitant?"
you looked at the skateboard which served as a small beacon of the line you wanted to cross but couldn't.
you took a step forwards and tried to take a step past chuuya who snapped put of his frozen state, immediately clasping his hand around your wrist to stop you and pulled you back infront of him. he placed his arm on your shoulder as he leaned near you, smiling in defeat.
"the girl i desired is the sister of the man i consider my bestfriend, who stayed with me in my thick and thin moments. must i choose between love and loyalty? i am torn doll, oh so torn." he confessed too. not in the way he or you (in your dreams) could ever imagine.
so please, you begged yourself to not focus on how close his face is to your's and how if you tipped your head forwards, you could place your lips against his.
"you can't choose?" you asked as you stared up at eyes so filled with life that you could mock the oceans for not even their beauty could be compared to the pigment of the man's eyes in your opinion. "i kinda get it though. i knew this would never work. this is why i never wanted to confess but you made me." your smile gave it away that you are still stuck on the same rope.
"i made you confess?" chuuya grinned and clasped his hands behind your head, he leaned forwards even more to ruse his brain into being satisfied with him brushing his nose against your's though what his brain itched for was to have his hands on your ass or on your back or on any part of your body as long as he could feel your skin on his.
"mhm, you did." you continue to play with your teasing accusation as chuuya took a step back and as his arms were around you, you were forced to take a step forwards too to maintain the close proximity between you two.
there is a voice hammering in the back of chuuya's head which is telling him to stop before he does something which will give arousal a upper hand on him but when he looked at the smile playing on your lips, chuuya felt the urge to break free from his confinement.
"wow, this is what i get for trying to teach you how to stand on a skateboard? what a ungrateful girl." chuuya teased, his own grin making you gulp and he watched how you swallowed your saliva and how the lump flowed down your throat before his eyes rested on your breasts covered by the fabric of your shirt and how his hands shook as he tried to ignore the urge to pry your shirt off of you. he continued to walk back and make you walk alongside him.
"i didn't ask you to teach me, you did it yourself chu." you point out, licking your lips as you tried not to focus on his hands on you by staring at his face which he tilted to the side to let his eyes to trail even lower and oh, he smirked arrogantly and raised his eyes in amusement.
the confinements couldn't hold the man named chuuya nakahara who felt something snap in him when he stared at your legs clenching together and your hand twirling the end of your shirt as if the fabric is annoying you as much as he is.
"yet you followed my instructions like a good girl." chuuya raised his eyebrow in amusement and the excitement almost made his heart bust when he felt the under of his knee hitting the bed and chuuya fell on it and of course, you found yourself falling on top of him with your arms on either side of him to support yourself.
"i like being praised. especially if the praises are from you." what shame remains when everything else is being kept in the open? you do not fear the outcome for once chuuya had reciprocated with confessions of his own, your mind circulated and worshipped only one thought ; to lay it all bare infront of him and let time and luck decides what happens next.
the words you uttered sounded like mirth to chuuya but your body being pressed on his, thighs brushing against his inner thigh and the lower part of your stomach being right on top of his crotch told chuuya this situation is very much serious and not a product of his desires forging into a very real life daydream. chuuya raised his eyebrows and decided to take one step forwards which would decide the course of the night.
"now follow my new instructions doll." chuuya's hands landed on the ends of your shirt as he hooked his fingers on the fabric, his heart beated but not as much in excitement as it did in anticipation.
chuuya licked his lips as he felt them drying while waiting and analyzing the expression you wore and he wondered for the hidden meaning behind you simply blinking but perhaps there wasn't any meaning behind them and you were just as eager as him to proceed with this situation, chuuya came to know so when you lifted your body a bit to help him take off your shirt with ease.
looking at the surprise flashing through his pupils for its rather rare for the tease to be caught off guard, you knew you would not miss this opportunity,
"what? am i not following your instructions correctly?" your grin faltered when chuuya pulled the shirt over your head before using it to tie your hands together behind your back, the action was carried with such precise and swift movements that you didn't realize it until he had done it.
"you look so adorable when you are at a loss of words." chuuya sighed fondly, grinning at your choice of wearing a lacy baby pink bra and suddenly you felt hot.
if you were feeling hot before then you are burning right now under the scorching stare of chuuya whose eyes frantically looked over each inch of your skin and those covered mounds you were unexpectedly testing his patience with.
chuuya extended his hand towards one of your boobs and he rubbed his thumb over your nipple to watch it perk up under his finger.
maybe it's the thrill of finally living the scenario you imagine on many nights when your fingers are knuckle deep in your core and you are a moaning mess for the guy who you weren't supposed to crush on because he is your brother's best friend but you did, or maybe it's the foreign simulation of a real touch of another other then yourself on your inexperienced body but whatever it may be, the pool of your own slick on your underwear wasn't something you could ignore and especially not when chuuya moved his knee so that it could be right below your wet and clothed core.
"chuuy --"
"tell me to stop and i will but if you don't, i'll make sure no other man could satisfy you like i do." he muttered in absolute seriousness as if he meant every single touch and caress on the curves of your waist and you shook your head and for emphasis, you humped against his knee to let him feel the wetness he caused.
"don't stop, please chuuya. choose me for once -- for my body, doesn't matter. i know you won't betray my brother by dating me, i never expected you to, but please. just be mine tonigh --"
your words didn't get the freedom to be spilt out into the atmosphere as chuuya shuts you by tugging at the restraint on your hand to pull you down and kissing you, his hand came to find its place on the curve of your jaw which he carassed as if to soothe your nerves or to control himself from pouncing at you at the moment.
"shut the fuck up." he gritted as soon as the short kiss shared between you two were over but looking at your glossed lips and flushed face as you tried to grasp your breath stolen by him and his kiss and chuuya pulled your face down using the hold he had on your jaw.
your eyes immediately screwed shut at the feeling of his soft lips moving on your's before he tilted your head to acquire an angle which would make it easy for him to push his tongue into your mouth, at that your heart began beating fast again while your cells celebrated that its finally happening.
maybe this is why you began taking ragged breaths which lead chuuya to increase the passion he excreted in this make out session. his free hand went down and towards your shorts after which he teasingly pulled them down only to abandon them and watch it smack your skin, the hiss that left your lips gave chuuya the opportunity to push his tongue deeper into your mouth.
you wanted to caress his cheek, touch his abs and run your hand through his hair but due to the restraints on your hands, all you could do was whine in the kiss, chuuya pushed his knee up a bit to hit it against your wet core and you immediately lost any energy you had. this one touch from him had you going limp as your body leaned on his.
chuuya pulled back from the kiss to look at your eyes still closed with his own eyes glazed with arousal which broke through every confinement and restraints.
chuuya's both hands landed on either of your hips and he lifted you up before turning you both around so you would be the one lying on his bed and suddenly the way his smell infiltrated your nose had you gulping thickly. in excitement, in anticipation.
chuuya planted one hand beside your head as with the other, he pulled down his sweatpants before cursing under his breath. sweat dribbled down his temple and all the way from his cheek to his neck to his collarbone before disappearing beneath his shirt.
and when you raised your eyes again, you saw the man already staring at you as he smiled in what seemed like embarrassment.
but can a man like him even have something to be embarrassed about? oh, don't you know, chuuya? you make others embarrassed with just how ethereal and angel like you look.
he isn't the angel though.
the way his lips parted to let his tongue out to moisten his bottom lip made it clear so or else why would you release a shaky breath suppressing desire?
"give me a minute doll?" he muttered so lazily but just as energetically did his hands pinch your nipples again.
you nodded and chuuya raised to his feet to lean towards the nightstand as he opened the drawer and began to shuffle through the many objects placed in it.
"fuck, where . . . is it . . .?" you heard chuuya mutter under his breath and you raised your feet to trace it along his waist to tease him and rile him up.
"you keep condoms so casually chu?" your voice was purposely toned to sound pouty as chuuya spared you a glance over his shoulder and he grinned before looking back at the task in hand and a sigh of relief left him when he found the packet he was looking for.
"i do not fuck around like it's second nature for me doll. when you have a house which is the usual spot for any parties, you better keep condoms." vaguely he answered but the way he winked gave you the reassurance that you won't be tossed aside after being used even if that was what you originally were ready to accept if it meant he would give in to his and your urges.
"virgin?"is the only word you mutter as you watch the process of chuuya slowly pulling down and removing his sweatpants and boxers away from his body before he ripped the condom package off and he looks at you while not stopping with his actions.
chuuya tilted his head to the side with a smirk, "why don't you tell me that."
and as chuuya approached you again, he raised the ends of his shirt over his head before tossing it to the side and leaning over you again, "tell me if i am a virgin or not doll," he cooed, alright, but his words and their loving tone was a very big contrast to the way his hands greedily raised one of your legs up to pull your shorts and underwear down in one go.
you sinked into the mattress even more as chuuya parted your legs apart, hissing at the sight of your wet core which glistened as the dim lights of his room fell on them.
chuuya raised his hand to trace over your folds and relished at how his finger got coated with your wetness, chuuya looked up as your thigh had twitched at this action of his.
"first time?" he asked and when you nodded a bit awkwardly, chuuya had this sudden urge to go on his knees and kiss his way up your inner thigh towards your cunt before ravishing it -- but he would get another day to do it. right now, if his angry dick doesn't enter you, he will go insane.
so he rather leans down to plant a kiss on the tip of your nose before making his way down and at the same time he taps on your stomach to let you know to lift yourself for him which you do, arching your back so chuuya could put his hand on your back before his hand trailed upwards to unclasp your bra.
chuuya leaned back and pulled you along by pulling on your tied hands, he sat on the bed and pulled you on his lap a bit harshly before immediately sucking on your nipple while his one hand remained to hold your hands over your head and the other carassed your hip.
the latter hand then began to travel downwards and you would've loved to focus on his touch if it wasn't for the way he nibbled on your nipple lightly before beginning to suck on it. his hand began to rub your clit teasingly with nothing but the tip of his fingernail -- all while he ignored his hard dick throbbing for attention.
"fuck, what a good girl." chuuya hissed under his breath as if the man could not physically stop himself from admiring you and if one thinks so, then let's also know the fact that mentally, chuuya couldn't even look away for even a fraction of a second.
to control himself is like controlling a starving beast with a fawn left unsupervised and unattended infront of him and the only thing restricting the beast was the pathetic chain on it's collar.
you whine, raise your eyes to look into chuuya's before you lean near him to capture his lips in a kiss which soon is being led by him.
the chain snaps and the beast pounced on the fawn.
chuuya falls down on the bed as his hands reach to grope your ass, your hands are still behind your back as you try to match his pace in the messy kiss and it is when you separated to take a breath that chuuya mumbled,
"ride me, doll? go at your pace, i just want your first time to feel good since it's with me --" the smirk and the tone made it clear how cocky and proud he is of himself. " -- come on, don't you want to feel good and make me feel good too? what are you hesitating for dear? i'll be here to guide you." he coos. the way how confidence sprouts from each pore of his body is something only he could pull off for he has the skills to back up every claim yet with a man like him, one would clearly not imagine him to be gentle.
he isn't but that's something you came to know only after you had gulped nervously before sinking down on his dick slowly as he advised you to take him inch by inch. the foreign intrusion burned and with each inch of him sinking into you, you could feel your walls stretching and it felt as if they were almost being ripped apart.
chuuya isn't a man of gentleness in bed usually but seeing you bite your lip as you screwed your eyes shut thinking it would help you tolerate the pain, chuuya wanted to be nothing but be tender with you who is acting so docile. but chuuya can't help but snicker, he can't help but be mean and with the way your walls are suffocating his cock, he is sure you like this behavior a bit too much as well.
his hands are on your hips to be the only source of stability for your hands are behind your back, tied and even if chuuya knew you needed time to get used to the foreign feeling of his dick inside you, he couldn't stop from pulling his hand away from your hip and smacking it lightly to watch you yelp in surprise.
"don't be mean chu." you stutter, eyes opening to glare lightly at him without holding any negative emotions, you could feel the pain fading away.
"just because you are sitting on my dick and on top of me doesn't mean you are in charge." chuuya smirked and when your glare didn't falter and you continued doing so, chuuya snickered before humming lazily.
"fine, if you think you are such a big girl, go on and fuck yourself on my cock." he emphasized his words by thrusting upwards into you and the new, first time feeling along with the way it was done so suddenly had you moaning in pleasure, body leaning to fall forwards on chuuya's chest.
chuuya peeked down at you to make sure his thrust didn't hurt you but when he saw you staring at him with half lidded eyes, he couldn't help but laugh mockingly, bringing his hand to pinch your cheek.
"not glaring anymore, are we? was this it? you needed to be fucked to be put in your place?" chuuya patted your cheek and smirked, "ride me."
it wasn't a suggestion or a loving and thoughtful gesture of him like it was before but a demand which left no room for argument, not that you would be trying to do so as you wanted to feel more of him, the warm dick between your walls and the way his thrust made you almost close your eyes felt nice, felt addicting and you grew greedy to want more.
chuuya grabs your hips again to pull you back in a sitting position on his dick and waited before you finally began to move up and down his dick. sure, the rhythm was off beat and the movements you made were slow and not precise but it didn't matter for the euphoria settling in him is something he felt before only once maybe -- the first time he had shifted to the area you lived in and befriended you, at that time he felt satisfied with himself to know he isn't going to be a sore thumb or an outcast, that he has a cute girl and her brother his age to keep him company and help him get familiar with the area. but the satisfaction now is not of the same category except the fact that both these feelings were stimulated when you were near him.
right now, the way your walls are squeezing his dick and suffocating it makes up for your sloppy movements, the epiphany of being this intimate with the girl who he once only touched in his dreams is making this way more satisfying then any of the other nights he had with anyone else.
you moaning his name is what snapped him out of his daze, he looked down at you to smile to see that you found the pace which you are the most comfortable in and it's way better then what you were doing in the beginning.
a moan left your lips and got tangled with the groan that chuuya released as he continued to look up at you, cheeks blushing, eyes wide and taking in every inch of your tits jiggling and the way he had to tighten his grip on your hips to stabilize you on him.
as you went up and down on him, your slick coated his length more and more made it easier to move but the burn on your thighs after some time couldn't be ignored, you weren't used to this and chuuya decided to take matters into his hands when he felt your pace slowing down.
"can't even trust you to fuck yourself. guess i have to teach you how to ride a dick huh, oh what a cutie." chuuya cooed as he found himself filled to the brim with adoration but when he felt it overflowing, the adoration transformed into lust.
you closed your eyes as chuuya grabbed you by your curves, lifting you up a bit as he adjusted himself beneath you to be in a position where he could look at you without having to lift his head much (he had placed two pillows beneath his head to do so) and began to thrust upwards into you after immediately making you take all of him.
you moaned out loud as you digged your nails into your palms as chuuya's pace seemed to increase with each passing second and you felt as if there is not even as much as a second for you to breath.
your lower abdomen is where the pleasure started before it surged through your entire body, chuuya's hands on your waist were sure to leave bruises but it didn't matter at the moment when he kept on trying to grope the flesh his greedy fingers could find.
chuuya had you sitting on him with his knees behind to support you from falling, the wetness only seemed to make the sound of his balls slapping against your asscheeks reverberate in the room. chuua grabbed your thigh before parting your leg a bit so he could hit more precisely.
you looked at chuuya to see him glaring down at your jiggling tits with narrowed eyes as he tried to find something -- you don't know what but he looked focused on whatever he is trying to do. you looked over your shoulder at your tied up hands and when you looked back at chuuya again, he flicked your clit which made you moan loudly.
chuuya placed his hand on your back, just barely above your ass as he pushed you forward so you could be laying on him.
chuuya looked down to see your tits squeezed against his chest and he gathered a glob of saliva before spitting it on your chest, a breathless moan left his mouth when he saw his saliva trail down the valley of your breasts. he pressed his hands on your asscheeks to push you against him and raised one of his hands to grab the back of your thigh to push your leg apart and as he thrusted after doing so, you felt his tip graze the spongy wall that had you crying out in pleasure.
the thrust which follows the first one had more impact as it made sure to hit against your spot, making you curl your toes and arch your back. your tits pressed against his chest more in the process of doing so and so did your walls which clenched his dick, chuuya moaned closing his eyes and thrusting again.
you are the one having your first time with him yet why does he feel as if it's the opposite? he never felt like so.
chuuya slowly opened his eyes and what greeted his sight is a picture he will keep alive in his head till the next time he gets to have his hands on you -- your eyes closed as you laid on his chest, lips parted and he could see you drooling a bit and oh, chuuya felt his breath getting stuck in his throat.
he raised his hand to caress your cheek before pinching it and pulling you towards him using it, kissing the tip of your nose. this gesture made you clench around him and chuuya's eyes rolled to the back of his head.
he was pounding into you roughly, mercilessly and being animalistic, he used your shirt tied on your wrists to control you, pushing and pulling you to find all the different angles that'll have you milking his cock.
as he pulled you back to sit on him with the help of your shirt, you leaned a bit so your clit could be pressing against his pubis, your head tilted back and oh, chuuya widened his eyes, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he only increased his pace to feel his cock struggle with the way your walls are clenching so hard around it, your body shakes and even with chuuya's hands around your waist, he can't help but grin at your unstable state.
"chuuya, chuuya, let me touch you -- ah, chuuya!" you cry out his name desperately as his abuse to your cunt continued before you finally released a high pitched moan while experiencing your very first orgasm due to something which aren't your fingers but your fingers don't feel so good and if it weren't chuuya, you are sure this orgasm wouldn't feel so good as well.
you breath heavily before feeling your breath hitching, eyes opening wide when chuuya who had slowed down his pace while you were coming off your high, increases it suddenly again, his balls tightening and so was his grip on your waist, he is close too, your cum is definitely being a additional yet very much appreciated lube.
so this is maybe why he didn't pick up his ringing phone from the nightstand as he pounded into you, moaning and running a hand through your hair as he whispered praises to you.
"y-your pho --" you weren't able to complete your sentence when chuuya pushed you back to sit on him using the restraint on your wrist, his other hand raised to harshly squeeze your tit between his fingers.
"who cares? whoever is calling can wait, fuck, doll." chuuya hissed as ropes of white shooted out of his cock and creamed your walls, his thrusts turned sloppy but didn't stop.
and when they did, chuuya raised himself on his elbows to check who called him but he stopped midway, his hand hovered just above his phone when you grinded against him shakily, panting and body trembling.
"chuuya." your half lidded eyes stared at him and this was all chuuya needed before he is abandoning his phone to flip you on the bed, getting on top of you.
"spread your legs wide doll, let me see my pussy."
━━━━━━━ 💋 part two.
#bsd x reader#bsd#bsd x you#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x you#bsd x y/n#bungou stray dogs fanfic#bsd fanfic#bsd smut#chuuya nakahara#bsd chuuya#bungou stray dogs chuuya#chuuya x reader#chuuya smut#chuuya scenarios#bsd x female reader#chuuya x you#chuuya x y/n#chuuya x fem!reader#⋆˚࿔ nie#for you angel 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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All Mine
🍒 Hii, this little or maybe not so little story is my first ever so I hope you enjoy it.
🍒 tw: sexual content, kidnapping, swearing, violence...
🍒 Pirate Hongjoong x reader
🍒 smut hehe with a bit of fluff, because aftercare is important
🍒 word count: 🤷🏻♀️ (a lot, i guess)
Where it all began:
It was when my mom was pregnant with me when a deal was struck between my parents and parents of later very known, vicious and merciless pirate Kim Hongjoong. It has been agreed that I will have to marry Hongjoong when I turn 22, because my family's fortune with his would make one very powerful and united family that would be unstoppable. Little did his parents know how their plan would be ruined, or was it?
As soon as that deal was struck, mu parents went to the king and queen to ask for their help.
"My king, we need your help!"
"Ah, lord Tang, long time no see. Tell me, what seems to be the problem?"
"We were forced to make a deal with pirates, the Kim's specifically, that our daughter Y/N has to marry their son Hongjoong when she turns 22."
"Well, that's unfortunate, lord Tang. What is it that you want of me? I can't declare a war out of thin air."
"We would never ask that of you, your majesties. We hoped that, as soon as Y/N is born, she can live with you as a fake princess and hopefully be safe from Kim's. "
"Lord Tang, that's quite an idea... and a dangerous one if HE figures out."
"I know that's a lot to ask of you, my king... but we just want our daughter to be safe and to never have to witness what horrible things those pirates do."
"Very well, lord Tang. As soon as your daughter is born, she will live here as our 'daughter', learn to be a proper royal and if successful, maybe even inherit the throne. She'll be a better fit than any of my cousins and their bastard children."
"Thank you, my king. I owe you my life for doing this."
"Careful, lord Tang, you might just have to do that if they find her."
"Yes, my king."
Even though my parents had a good plan, and everything went smoothly, eventually, something had to go wrong.
Now:
The day has come, my 28th birthday and my coronation. The day when I finally become queen of this country came, the king Jun was proud and so was his wife, Laeya, or should I say, my parents. However, my real parents were in the crowd, watching me, with tears in their eyes and hope that nothing would go wrong.
The coronation went smoothly, and so did the majority of the night, but then all of a sudden, pirates came barging in through the main doors... and it was everything my parents feared... the blood... the screams... people panicking... but I couldn't move, I couldn't run... I knew I had to face them, and I knew I was ready... or so, I thought.
Then he came in the throne room. His presence, his aura... it was very powerful and magnetic, something was pulling me towards him, and I didn't know what it was.
One thing I was sure of... this man is Captain Kim Hongjoong, of the Nightbringer pirates. The cruelest, the most vicious and merciless pirates of them all... and he was here to get me.
"Hello, my queen", he said bowing to me, showing respect. Good for him. "They hid you well from me. I hoped to meet you 6 years ago, and make you my beloved wife, but as you see, I had some misfortune coming my way. I had my most precious treasure stolen from me, I was searching all of the seven seas for you, and as I was about to raid this hideous castle, I have find you. My precious ruby."
Ruby, a nickname I thought I'd never hear again... but here we are.
"Captain, you must me mistaken. I was never promised to anyone."
"My queen, isn't your real name Y/N Tang? Isn't your father one of most respected lords, lord Marcellus Tang and his beautiful wife, Maria Jelena Tang, former princess of Russia. You're their only daughter and, of course, my soon to be wife." he said, and I gulped.
How did he know all of this? Where did he get it from?
I needed answers, and I needed them soon.
"Mother! Father! What is he talking about?" I asked angrily, and they explained everything to me. I was furious, I didn't know what to think, how to act... do I go with them? Do I put up a fight? So I tried being rational and parley.
"Captain, I'm flattered, but unfortunately, I will not be going with you. I have a duty towards this country, this land and all people who live here."
He laughed. He fucking laughed.
"You're in no position to bargain with me,'princess'. You will be a good little princess and come with me. Otherwise, you can say goodbye to everyone because all that will be left of this land is corpses and bloodshed", this prick... "You have a choice pretty, come with me in peace, and I'll let them all live, or you can decline me and see everyone die, so you'll be forced to go with me."
"I pick nothing. You're in no position to bargain with a queen, pirate and you and your small crew are outnumbered."
He doesn't say anything. He just walks up to me, lifts up my head with his finger, looks me in the eyes, and like a feather, he throws me over his shoulders. To my surprise, no one was harmed, and I was taken to his ship, with no one coming after me. His ship, The Illusion, was beautiful and modern, I was stunned. He took me to his cabin and locked me inside. Then, the long one week journey to his kingdom began.
On the ship:
The seconds. The minutes. The hours.
They were passing slowly, but at least I had my fun pissing Hongjoong off. He hated it but I loved it. Serves him right for literally kidnapping me.
Suddenly, I hear the door unlocking... it must me him.
"Rise and shine, Ruby. We are close to my kingdom, and here, you'll be a proper queen. I must admit, giving you up to the royals was a bit over the top, but at least you have the manners and the brains now."
"That's more brains than you'll ever have Hongjoong. " I smiled to myself, good one. He makes me think of comeback so easily, whatever he says, I can just snap it back at him. But the patience this man has, its unbelievable.
"Now now baby, haven't they taught you manners and respect, or are you just a brat in general?" As he was saying that, he gets close to my face, looking me deeply in the eyes, and as always, I get turned on... but I can't let him know that, if I did, he'd have complete power over me and he'll use it well. "I asked you something, 'princess'."
"I just respect people who show respect to me first. That's how it is and how I was taught." I said.
"Hmm, or you just like pissing me off, hoping to get a reaction out of me, but also finding my composure and presence rather magnetic." Shit... how did he know? "Princess, you were bound to be mine, and I will, make you mine." Well, now is not a good time to be horny and wishing he would rail me on his desk. "Be ready in 10, we're close to the main land. And wear something nice, you need to look presentable to my people." He leaves, and with that I go through the dresses I have, and find the sluttiest, dark red dress that hugs my curves well. I can hear, and feel the ship slowing down, which can mean one thing... time to get out.
"Y/N, time to go." I hear Seonghwa, Hongjoong's first man and his most trusted member of the crew, and the sweetest, if I may add. I check myself once more, and I head out. The crew kept whistling, cat-calling 6 it made me feel powerful until Hongjoong turned around and his eyes went dark. Oh, oh. I needed to play this off as cool as possible, which I did. He hasn't said anything to me on our way to his castle, and I didn't mind because San and Wooyoung were keeping me entertained.
Over the next few months, I kept pissing Hongjoong off, talking to San and Wooyoung, who became my friends here and occasionally to Seonghwa. The majority of days here, I spent with the crew, whereas Hongjoong was nowhere to be seen... and to be honest, it had me worried. I stood up and decided to go to his room. Not a brightest idea so far.
His room was across the hall from mine, with big black doors and skulls decorating it. To some, it may seem intimidating, but to me, it has always been normal. I came inside, the room was empty, but it was big, spacious, and it had nice big windows that made the room brighter. I was busy admiring the room and haven't heard footsteps behind me.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be out with the crew doing something?" He asked, leaning onto the doorframe. Damn he looked hot. His messy red hair was shining from one sunray that hit it, his dark eyes looking at me curiously, and his lips... those juicy pink lips were formed into a smirk. "Do you like what you see, Ruby?" He asked, slowly moving forward and closing the door behind him.
"Not really, I've seen better." I snap.
"Oh really, so I don't have any effect on you? You don't feel turned on by me? You don't fantasize about me? You don't imagine me pleasuring you until you scream when you finger yourself at night? You don't imagine how my tongue would tease your sensitive clit, how I would eat you out like a starved man, as if you were the last meal I could have, how I would such on those nice tits of yours and make you cum? You don't think about how my cock would fill you up like a skut you are and stretch you so good, you will only need my cock and noone else's? You want to say that you never, not even once, wanted me to fuck you senseless over my desk, make you scream my name so my whole crew can hear how good of a slut you're being for me, your captain. Tell me, Ruby."
I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't do anything I wanted to do because of him, and the effect he had on me.
With one swift movement, he put his hand around my waist and turned me around so my back was pressed against the door. He started kissing my neck, moving his way slowly to my jaw and then kissing my lips. His kisses were intoxicating, and through them, he made sure you knew that he was in charge. There's no doubt that he was good at it, he knew very well what he was doing.
"My precious Ruby, tell me, what do you want." He said seductively, as if he didn't know what I wanted. "Captain, I want you."
"Very well darling." He kissed me again, then stopped, looked at me and just tore my shirt apart. I was stunned. He on the other hand was amused, taking my boobs in his hands, massaging them, and then kissing and teasing my nipples. I squirm and pull his red, ruby hair, making him whine a little. While sucking on my nipples, he quickly disposed my skirt and underwear, kissing his way down on me. Making me shiver, getting wetter and wetter with every kiss he made down my stomach... but he stops... and gets on his knees in front of me, putting my leg on his shoulder so he can have better access. Slowly, he licks my folds, tasting all of my juices and making his way up to my clit. His tongue glides over my clit, goes in circles around it, making me moan loudly. He starts sucking and nibbling on my clit, sending shivers down my spine and making me quiver. Eating me out like a starved man, he speeds up a little and adds a finger inside me, matching the speed of his finger and his tongue. The feeling was sensational, no one made me feel like that. He adds another finger, making me moan from being stretched out. "Look at you, being a good little slut for your captain. Are you gonna cum for me slut? Are you gonna make a mess all over my face and fingers?" He asks, still sucking on my clit but more roughly this time and fingering me faster. "Aye, captain. I'll be a good slut and cum on your face." I moan, and the pleasure keeps growing. I grab a handful on his hair in my hand and pull his face closer to my folds, closing my thighs as my orgasm approaches and squishing his face between them, which he doesn't seem to mind... instead he picked up a pace. "Oh...I-... too much..."
"What's that slut? Don't tell me you can't take it?"
"I- I'm gonna c-..."
Before I could finish, I squirt all over his face, making a huge mess and wetting his clothes.
"Get on the bed slut. On all fours. Head down. Ass up."
I obey.
Before I knew it, he was undressed and stood between my legs, carefully watching my juices leaking out of me from previous orgasm.
"You look so pretty spread out for me like this."
"Only for you captain." I purr.
"Good, now you'll take my cock like a good little slut, won't you?"
"Yes captain."
Without any warning, he slams his dick in me, stretching me well and making me full. Each thrust is better than the other, making my legs weak and shaking. He fucks me roughly, penetrating me sweet spot and making me a moaning mess. He picks up his pace again, thrusting hard and deep touching my cervix with a tip of his dick.
"Fuck baby, if you keep clenching around me like that, I'm going to cum and fill that tight cunt of yours with my cum. Would you like that, slut? Would you like being breed by me and have my baby in your belly?" I nod.
"Words, slut. Use your words. I want to hear you say it."
"Ah- yes- I want you to breed me, captain. I wanna be filled with your cum and have your baby in my belly." I scream, and I hear him chuckle as he keeps thrusting. I can feel him twitching inside me, ready to cum. His thrusts become shorter but deeper.
"Fuck baby, I'm gonna cum in that pretty cunt of yours. Cum with me."
As he came in me, he kept fucking his cum back inside me hence it was leaking out. I kept rolling my eyes into the sensation.
"On your knees slut. You need to clean the mess you've made on my cock."
I get down on my knees, in front of his beautiful long dick that still hasn't gone soft. I start pumping it with my hands, sucking on his balls, kissing them and moving up to his tip, sliding it in my mouth, slowly taking it whole.
"That's it, slut. Let me fuck that bratty mouth of yours."
With that, he grabbed a handful of my hair, moving his hips and fucking my mouth. I grab his thighs for support and scratch them because he was too much. He slides out of mouth, letting me breathe for a second before sliding himself back into my mouth, thrusting roughly, and sliding out again. Confused, I see him sit on his bed, tapping on his lap, signalling me to come up to him, and ride him. I slide down his cock with ease, enjoying the feeling of being stretched out once again. I kept bouncing on his dick, feeling euphoric and having Hongjoong sucking on my boots while his thumb was circling around my clit. I couldn't take it anymore, it was too much.
"You gonna cum again slut? C'mon, make a mess on my cock and I'll fill you up once more." I don't know how or why, his words have a huge effect on me. Hearing him saying that and moan, made me ride him harder and faster, urging me to cum.
"Ah- Hon- Hongjoong " I scream, and as I was about to collapse on him, he flipped us over, putting me in missionary and filling me up once again, making me feel warm inside. He never let his cum drip out of me, so he kept fucking it back in, releasing once more and kissing me. God, I loved every second of it.
"You good princess? Not too sore? Can you walk? Do you need anything? Food? Water? Shower? Just tell me, princess, anything you need."
"Some food would be nice, and a shower... and, if we can cuddle after?" I asked, hoping he'll agree.
"Anyhing for my Ruby. You're the queen of my heart after all."
Who knew a pirate such as Hongjoong would have a soft side, or was he only showing that side to you. Nevertheless, you loved it, and even though you were forced to come here, maybe it's better than the life your parents would choose for you. And there's one thing Hongjoong will never admit, but he always knew where you were, how you were and he watched you growing up. You might not remember it now, but he'll tell you what you two met when you were 7, walking along the beach alone and bumping into him. You called him ruby, because of his red hair and he never told you his real name because he didn't want to scare you, instead he admired you and told himself that he'll find you again and protect you with all he has.
#ateez smut#ateez x reader#ateez hongjoong#ateez imagines#hongjoong smut#captain hongjoong#pirate king#pirate hongjoong#let me suck you dry#hongjoong ateez#aye aye captain#hongjoong x reader#ateez pov#ateez san#ateez seonghwa#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#ateez#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#ateez oneshot
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Forever and always.. or maybe never.
Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x reader
Hanahaki Disease!AU
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters. I do not claim any of them as my own. This work is purely fictional.
Summary: Some say that you cannot die from a broken heart, but how wrong they are. When your lover and husband, Aemond Targaryen begins to find comfort in another, the universe takes pity on you. Well, if you can count a deadly flower disease as pity.
❗️TW❗️: Profanity, mention and descriptions of blood, descriptions of choking and vomiting, hints to infidelity, mild mature scene, violence, character death, angst
(A/N: Hello, this is my own take on Hanahaki's disease with Aemond! Feel free to comment your thoughts, I am always open to criticism and feedback! I hope you enjoy!)
Word Count: 3.3K
Your love for Aemond hadn’t always been unrequited. At least you’d like to think it wasn’t. Both of you had grown together in the red keep as children. The two of you read together, ate together, and overall grew together. Aemond was your best friend before he was your betrothed. Whenever his mother was busy, it was your side that he clung to. The two of you were so attached at the hip that Alicent even took you to driftmark with them. You and the beast that came with you of course. No one really knows how you stumbled upon a hyena pup, nor how you tamed it to your side as a child. Nevertheless, they never forbid you from having it. If the Targaryens could have their dragons, and the Starks their dire wolves, then certainly you could have the tricky little beast that you insisted on calling Lark. In some ways, Alicent was thankful that you insisted on keeping it. After all, it was your hyena that stood between Aemond and the other children on that fateful night in driftmark. The beast had acted as your legs and ran faster than you could to reach the devastating brawl before you. Despite Aemond’s wails of pain, Lark refused to let the guards come too close. Only when you arrived did she move aside. Regardless of being young, that was the first night you realized your feelings for Aemond Targaryen. The very sight of him bleeding and broken struck you so deeply that you felt as if you had been maimed too. Alicent had noticed the change as well as she watched you stand by her son's side whilst he received stitches. Her dark eyes gazed deeply at how tightly you held Aemond’s hand, as if he would disappear. Aside from her, no one had ever loved her son this passionately, not even his own father.
“Prince Aemond must be sharply questioned so we might learn where he heard such slanders” Rhaenyra demanded.
“ Was the blade of your son’s knife not enough sharpness for the night?” All eyes turned to you in surprise. You had never been known to speak out if it did not benefit you. Most of the time you were seen standing to the side, watching while others tore each other apart. Aemond could always see past it, see your true intentions. He knew you were studying how different people fought and where their weak points were. You had been around the red keep long enough to know that Lucerys Velaryon was Rhaenyra’s soft spot, and tonight you planned to use that against her.
“ You should watch your tongue when you speak to me” Rhaenyra warned, her eyes flickering over to her father to see if he would do anything.
“ or what, you’ll have Lucerys cut it out like he did Aemond’s eye” The neutrality on your face was enough to both scare and amaze Aemond.
“ You dar-”
“ Enough! My son has lost an eye and now you insist on arguing with a young girl?” Alicent moved up next to you, a hand on your back in support. She knew how terrifying it was to stand alone in a room full of adults scrutinizing you. That’s how her wedding felt after all. The queen’s hand never wavered through the interrogation of the green children. You held Aemond’s hand and she held you. Until things escalated that was. When the queen rushed towards Rhaenyra you stepped in front of Aemond. Shielding him from the sight of his mother in the midst of such violence. All Aemond could see in the midst of chaos was you, and all you could see was the river of blood on Rhaenyra’s arm. Little did you know how familiar you would be with crimson rivers in due time.
It was shortly after that night when your betrothal to the second son was announced. Alicent assured that it was needed to form an alliance between your family and theirs, when in reality it was a match made to ease the worried queen’s heart. In her eyes, no one else was a better match for Aemond than you, and for the longest time, you believed her. Oh, how foolish you were.
Six years passed with ease for the two of you. The first four were filled with fleeting touches, deep conversations, and young love.
“What is this, my lady, a journal?” Aemond’s voice floated around you as his chin found purchase on your shoulder.
“ And if it is?” You hummed, closing the leather-bound book a bit too quickly.
“ Then I fear I must inspect it. Wouldn’t want my future wife to be keeping secrets from me.” You recognized the playful jest in Aemond’s voice and wasted no time in rushing up from the bench.
“ Not so fast, my love.” Aemond chuckled, ensnaring you from behind.
“ Aemond!” You protested, smacking his locked arms with the leather bound book.
“ Have I ever told you how much I adore it when you fight back?” Aemond snickered, his breath hot on your neck.
“ You pervert!” You feigned offense before looking ahead to your pet, “ Lark, get him girl, c’mon!”
“ You know she won't come. That ole girl loves me as much as she loves you." Aemond smirked, whistling for Lark in the way you taught.
" Traitor." You grumble with a hidden smile as the Hyena trots over to the pair of you casually.
The two of you were married when he was seventeen and you were sixteen. Your union was repeated twice over. Once in front of a sept full of people, and then in the tradition of old valyria. Aemond wanted reassurance that you would never part from him. Your marriage fueled two more years full of what was now mature love.
The edge of your teeth pulled at the pillow of your bottom lip as you stared at the dark oak door. The sound of jeering men swarmed your thoughts and threatened the bile at the back of your throat. You tried to hide your discomfort for Aemonds sake, but he was keen to your reactions by now.
“ Do not fret, my love, I will not let them hear your noises. I would never let them hear what is only meant for me and you.” Aemond spoke lowly, using your hips to turn you towards him and away from the door.
“ They’ll hear regardless.” You muttered bitterly, “They’re sat out there with their ears pressed against the door just wa-”
“ I said they would not hear you and I meant it” Aemond murmured into your ear with a soft kiss to the sensitive skin just beneath it.
“Aem-” You sighed contently.
“That’s it..sȳz riña.”Good girl. Your breathing faltered as the pet name slipped past his lips. He had figured out how much you liked to be praised from your journals.
“ You r-remebered…”You managed to gasp as he trailed down your neck.
“ I remember anything and everything that has to do with you, my love. I always will.” Aemond promised between wet kisses. You shouldn’t have believed him, but you did.
You never would’ve thought that you could fall deeper in love with Aemond Targaryen after that night, but nine months later proved you wrong. The sight of him by your side as you delivered your son set permanent hearts in your eyes. He had not cared for the blood or screams, only you and the babe. The babe who he later named Aemys because it was as close as he could get to amethyst, your favorite color. Every little detail of the things he did revolves around you. That’s what fueled your denial the first time you coughed up blood.
Your eyes stared hard at the bloody petal laying in your palm. Had that come from you? You had read strange tales of those who bled flowers, but you believed it only to be fiction. Surly your blood would not change at the ripe age of ten and nine.
“ The flower that once bloomed love will soon bloom blood. “ Helaena aimlessly mumbled to herself from beside you.
“ What..?”Your heart sped up as you analyzed her words. No one had ever paid any mind to her silly riddles, except for you.
“ Blooming blood blooms a burial.” This time Helaena was focused on you as she spoke. Her eyes filled with unknown sorrow. You left Aemys to play with his cousins as you rushed to the library. No one else was there to question your sanity as you pulled book after book from the shelf to find the old dornish fables that lay hidden among them.
“Hanahaki..”Every word, every page, and every definition seemed to tear you apart further as you read. No other condition led to flowery bile except for this one. Aemond loved you though. How could this be possible?
Your thoughts would be answered two morrows later when Aemond returned from his siege of Harrenhal. Everyone had expected to see him arrive on dragon back alone, certainly not with a strong bastard. A gorgeous strong bastard at that. You felt your chest tighten as you gazed upon her dark flowy locks and enchanting eyes. Oh by the seven, how could you spite him for loving someone like her? If circumstances were different, then perhaps you too would fall under her spell. It wasn’t until you saw the way she clung to Aemond’s arm that the coughing fit started. This had to be it. What else could it be? Aemond hated physical contact with strangers, yet he let a previously unknown wetnurse cling to him like a paramour. The harder you thought about it, the harder you coughed. The fit only resulted in a petal or two, but in time that would grow. The longer Alys rivers stayed, the worse you got. Both you and the universe could feel Aemond straying from you, even if he spoke differently.
“I am not in love with her!”Aemond snapped, reaching his breaking point in this petty argument that had started hours ago at dinner.
“ You do not see the things I see, Aemond. The way you defend her, encourage her, look at her…all in the way you used to look at me-” It took effort to fight down the sickness as you fought. It had been months, but you made no move to tell Aemond, you couldn’t.
“ I do not love her as I love you-”
“ Yes, but you love her!” You cried in outrage, gripping the wall near you for support. Everything became so out of focus as you spoke the words. It was the first time you had ever admitted it to yourself. The dew of brick cooled your skin as you leaned against the wall. Your body trembled with deep echoey coughs as petals tore their way up your throat.
“ I did not mean to make you sick, dear wife” Aemond spoke softly and simply. Wife. He had never called you that before, not even on your wedding night. It was always my love or Ñuha prūmia. How ironic for him to call you his heart when sooner or later he would be the reason yours cease to beat.
“ Just go, Aem, please.” You pleaded, turning away, “I do not wish to fight.”
“ As you wish.” Aemond’s bow before he left was the final straw to crack your heart open. Why must he be so formal when you stand dying a few feet away? How can he not see how badly you suffer? Were the shadows beneath your eyes, or the crack of your lips not big enough clues for him? Would you need to be dead for him to finally understand?
Unfortunately for you, that’s exactly how it was going to be. Everyone else around you had begun to notice the shift in your behavior. The fatigue, the paleness, and the emotions. Alicent first noticed it when she sat in the nursery with you, Helaena, and the children just after supper. She saw the way your eyes refused to leave Aemys as if it would be your last look. The way you held him was the same way she held Aemond when he lost his eye.
“ He’s a clever boy.” Alicent smiled as Aemys recited a word back to one of his cousins.
“ That he is.” You agreed, melancholy ghosting your lips. It hurt the queen to see you this way. You were a part of her almost as much as her children. You came to her as a child she was not forced to love nor conceive. Yet you wormed your way into her heart as if she had carried you. The sight of you so sickly and sad tugged at Alicent’s heart.
“ You’re sick, are you not?” Alicent proclaimed in observation rather than a question.
“ Mhm, In a way I suppose I am.” You hummed out softly. It had gotten to the point where it was hard to speak most days. The petals had begun to come up in thick, dry heaves, with occasional thorns that tore at your throat.
“ Have you told Aemond?” The queen inquired.
“ Aemond is the reason I’m sick in the first place.” You grumbled before sighing in defeat, “ Or I suppose it’s more of my fault. I was foolish to think he would ever actually love me.”
“ You don’t mean-” Alicent’s soft words trailed off abruptly. Alicent Hightower was no stranger to the hanahaki disease. She too had suffered through it once. Except she learned how to get around it.
“ I do.” You answered simply, with no trace of sadness or indifference.
“ There are ways around it my d-”
“ Such as forgoing my love for Aemond, I know. I could live a long life if I cast aside every loving memory I hold of him, but alas it is not that easy. I have tried, if that brings you any comfort. In the midst of the night when my eyes are swollen from tears and the blood in my throat is so thick I cannot breathe, I have tried, and I have failed.” Alicent’s eyes well with tears as you speak, almost as if she’s dared to imagine you in such dismay. You reach out to soothe her hands comfortingly, but she grips onto yours tightly instead.
“ It is not easy, but you must keep trying.” Alicent urges, a wobble to her voice.
“ There is no reason for me to put myself through the agony of erasing my happiness when I am already in physical torment. The sight of Aemond is the very reason I wake up every morning. Hearing his laugh, seeing his smile, and feeling his warmth are all things that have kept me going. Forgetting those would be forgetting myself.” You reason, a wisp of remembrance in your eyes.
“ If not for yourself, then for Aemys” Alicent argues.
“ Aemys is one of the reasons I have chosen to give up. Every time I look at him I see Aemond. They are alike in everything but the eyes. The mere sight of that boy reminds me of the night he was made, of the love and passion Aemond had for me. Yet he no longer holds in regards to me. I would rather Aemys hear stories of his parent’s love than grow up with two plain parents.” The child in topic bursts into giggles a few inches away, stealing your attention from the queen. Your eyes crinkle with happiness and you move to turn towards him, but Alicent holds firm.
“ Aemys needs his mother.” She argues once more.
“ He does not. Aemys will have a loving father and grandmother by his side. Alongside his aunt Helaena, Uncle Daeron, and three beautiful cousins. Even Aegon cares for the little rascals’ life.” You chuckled.
“ That is n-”
“ Please, I have made my choice. I appreciate your council, but it is too late. I fear after I lay my son to sleep, it will be my last night alive. I thank you for all the love and comfort you have given me in my lifetime. I love you, mother.” You pressed the meat of your cheek against Alicent’s hand in farewell before standing.
“ If you’ll excuse me-” As you stood to retrieve your son, Alicent excused herself from the room hastily. Never did she think she would find herself running through the castle’s corridors, but yet here she is. Alicent’s heels had been long forgotten and the emerald hem of her dress dragged upon the stone as she made haste to the library, where Aemond would be.
“ Aemond! Ae-” The frantic shrill of the queen mother’s voice echoes throughout the shelves.
“ Mother?” Aemond calls out, emerging from a row with a disheveled Alys in tow, “ Is something wrong?”
“ You hide away fondling a wet nurse while your wife withers away! Have I truly raised you this way?” The despair in Alicent’s voice takes Aemond by surprise. He reaches out to hold her arms, but she pulls away.
“ She is not withering away, mother. She has assured me that it is just a small cold.” Aemond speaks calmly, in hopes to ease his mother’s franticness.
“ A small cold!? She has every sign of hanahaki disease and you have not suspected a thing?” Alicent refuted.
“ Because it is not possible! I love her!” Aemond snaps.
“ Not enough!” Alicent sighs, “ In no world should I have had to be afraid of letting her go in fear that I would not see her again. She has accepted her death, Aemond. How far out of love have you fallen with her to the point where your wife greets death openly?”
Aemond doesn’t bother with a reply because he’s already on his way out of the door. His pounding steps reverberate through the empty halls and the tremble of panicked breathing surrounds him. Fear nearly eats him alive as he reaches the door to your marital chambers. Never has he been terrified to open those doors to the sight of you. He had never once feared finding you dead, but now he has. Slowly but surely, Aemond pushes the giant oak open. He spots you knelt on the balcony in your nightdress, looking up at the stars. Lark lay whining at your side until she hears Aemond shuffle forward. Much to Aemond's surprise, the hefty beast that once worshiped him as you did, bared its teeth to him.
"Please.." Aemond wasn't sure if he was pleading to Lark to let him pass or to the gods for your life. Either way, the Hyena was the first to answer him. Lark moved aside slowly so that Aemond may pass, but still kept defense from a ways away.
“I-” Before a word can even escape his lips, you’re lurching forward. Aemond rushes forward and sinks to his knees to hold you. The convulsions of your stomach can be felt as he circles your waist.
“ I’m so sorry, my love, please.” The cold wash of fear grips his spine as blood and flowers paint the floor. He has no idea what to do. You’re not saying anything or doing anything to cease the onslaught of terror, yet you’re not pushing him away either. On the contrary, you’ve tangled your fingers with the hand he has over your stomach.
“ I love you. I’ll always love you.” Aemond croaks helplessly into your hair as you lean back against him. It’s too late, you had once said. It seems that the universe had agreed. Your breathing rattled to a stop and the grip of your hands weakened. “ I love you. Forever and Always. I promise.” Aemond whispered, pressing a salt-soaked kiss to your temple as he felt your heart slow. The thump that once echoed through your back onto his own heart stuttered to a stop, and with it so did Aemond’s world.
Part 2
#aemond targaryen#aemond x reader#aemond targaryen x reader#hotd#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon#house of the dragon angst#aemond targaryen angst#angst
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PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you
He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING
IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint
the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'
i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed
*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology
tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)
Foreword
I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot.
I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.
Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology.
I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.
*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*
Childhood
The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.
Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.
Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style
Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.
As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life.
As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.
With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time.
And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others.
While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.
Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia
Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).
AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34
This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son.
There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.
Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.
The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness.
Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)
This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ‘most likely’s’.
Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.
(for reference)
AOT ch69
The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.
In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.
This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.
This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.
Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely.
From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).
Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is “give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later.
Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death
As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.
He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.
How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early.
AOT ch69
This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.
Adolescence
Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!
Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity
It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.
That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).
The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.
Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.
AOT ch69
Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).
The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.
Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.
If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.
What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.
OCD Propensity
One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.
In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.
His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground.
This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.
Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.
Lack of Self Worth
Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.
Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.
In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.
This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.
He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.
Young Adulthood
Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.
(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)
Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation
Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples.
ACWNR ch2
He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish.
He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).
There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own.
Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.
Antisocial Personality…?
It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).
People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless.
Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.
However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.)
However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.
I go into more detail about this idea here.
Conclusion
As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.
Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview
C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment.
Negative/Absent Sense of Self
I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman.
His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.
Emotional Dysregulation
The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside).
It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is.
As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.
Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.
Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment
Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.
These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.
Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.
Anxiety
His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.
OCD
Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.
OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.
Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)
It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.
There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.
EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)
Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least.
In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.
I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry.
That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).
The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.
As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”.
He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.
Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.
Misc.
Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi’s psychology:
Queer?
Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.
With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).
MDD
The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability.
Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).
Body Language
Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.
Also see this official art of Levi asleep.
Afterword
We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.
Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.
However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life.
In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.
My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:
C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)
OCD (contamination obsessions)
EDNOS
#levi aot#snk levi#levi ackerman#levi attack on titan#captain levi#captain levi ackerman#aot levi#aot levi ackerman#attack on titan levi#aot meta#levi heichou#rivaille heichou#levi rivaille#rivaille ackerman#lance corporal rivaille#levi snk#levi.thoughts#aot#attack on titan
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Vox making a sinner his housespouse Drabble
Tw: (50’s) Period typical views of the nuclear family, entrapment, manipulation, gaslighting nuclear “family”, threats of violence, noncon touching
@omniuravity
I can just imagine the look on his face one day when you walk into his establishment looking for directions to where you’re supposed to go. A new sinner, someone just trying to pull themselves up as quick as possible.
And so polite too!
He’d charm you with a welcoming air and a quick gesture into his office, trying to offer you jobs in tv while you turn each one.
Smart.
When you highlight some of your skills he feels a course of electricity jolt through him, something more human than hid metal, and wired bodies.
“Have you thought of maid services?”
It was the first thought to come to his mind and one he noticed you cringed at, but shrugged towards.
“What could it hurt?”
A grin grew up his face and for the first few months he had a car driving you from where ever you’d need to go, so long as you offered him company at the end of the day. A small chat in his office turned to nights at an old fashioned drive through, turned into dances under the darkest part of the pride ring.
Yet he could tell you weren’t impressed, so he broadcast you on television, your services, your personality, making offhanded remarks about how perfect your body was. All things you’d oullined you didn’t want when you began your services. All things he promised he wouldn’t do, so when you saw a 50’s cartoon drawing of yourself thrown up on screens you were naturally livid.
Bringing it up to Vox you made sure to outline your disappointment, and Vox seethed internally. He had you walking to your jobs that week before he called you one morning, your apartment exploding in both your tv, watch, and phone ringing.
“Vox?”
“Heyyy doll! Nice to hear from you- hey, I need a small favor if you can manage it?”
You bit your lip in worry, hoping he wasn’t angry enough to hurt you.
“Yeah what-“
“How about now!” He asked cheerfully, sounding a bit pressed on time, a tad unhinged. And underlay stood a more true sound.
“Im outside already.”
You grumbled a small yes before he ended the call with a giddy chuckle, waiting for you to get your rear outside. When you stepped out the souped up company car that he usually had driven for you was nowhere to be seen. Instead- in its place a bright blue Buick limited, trimmed with a shiny red, windows finished with a shiny white. His face grined out the main window, sharp, flat teeth blinking oddly in the red lights of hell.
“Jump on in!” He exclaimed- patting the white leather seats, and barely waiting for you to take a seat before snapping you into his can, fastening the two seatbelts wicked tight and hellblazing down the highway,
Any questions asked about where you were going were met with a flippant disregard and a question about how you would design a wedding.
It wasn’t until you met a bright blue skyline with fake ass clouds that you even attempted to leave the car, trying to pry the handles off before the handle fizzeled out of existence and about a hundred people came out like clockwork to water their brightly colored flowers and fake ground.
You felt like you were on the brink of a panic before the car stopped entirely, Vox zipping through the air to pull you up and out of the car into a pretty baby blue house, with a white picket fence and some off pink curtains.
It of course would get some taking used to as Vox replayed an existence he’d never lived through to a snapping audience but after months of him refusing to feed you and your stomach finally forcing you to move you knew it was time.
And so every question you’d asked about the friends you made were turned against you.
“Oh that’s nothing to worry about honey, they’ve all graduated and had children by now…”
And you were expected to believe that.
You were expected to believe when those seem people were threatened on the knives where Vox had to lock the chemicals up and send the knives away. Expected to believe that when you begged the other hellions on the street to help you and they tied you down until Vox came back around at the end of the day.
So it’d be easier now for him to keep you, trace a hand across your collarbones and whisper violence into your ear as you twitched away, constrained by a pure white, frilly set of handcuffs. Begging him to let you leave until the day the two of you broke during a fight, when he sputtered out an agictated ‘I hate you!’
Before you broke into hysterical laughter, sobbing and chuckling like mad at his feet while he tried to pick you up. Only able to get as far as an inch off the ground before he brought a pillow and blanket into the kitchen to let you rest out.
“All couples have their issues honey…”
“Yeah.”
“We’ll be fine in a few days.”
“Dinner is a surprise tonight Vox, what wine pairs best with Lamb?”
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— ❝ Dual Purpose
Masky x fem!reader x Hoodie
Word count: 3k+
Plot: During a surprise home invasion from two strangers (Masky/Hoodie), they can't stop arguing on who is better than the other. Soon, Hoodie hatches the bright idea as you to be the judge...
NSFW tags: Threesome, Exhibitionism, degradation, biting/choking, oral sex (M & F receiving), bondage, rough sex, knife play, dacryphilia, dubcon, tongue piercing, overstimulation
TW warning// physical violence is used once (never again after)
Note: Sequel coming very soon... 👀
You weren't expecting any of this. Well, you didn't expect the bickering persay. Your wrists were tied to uncomfortable zip-ties as you watch as these two strangers bicker like high school children. Though they were definitely contrasting in personality. The masked figure seemed more cautious, calculated, and irritable. The hooded man was the opposite, a slacker and pretty compulsive from the looks of it.
" You know I'm better with handling the possessions, you just deal with her. "
" Tch. Good my ass. Your shit at this. Last break in you tripped and fell on your ass. "
" Quit bickering and do your job, smartass. Just deal with her. "
The mask man growls, gesturing to you. You shiver with fear, not daring to utter a complaint. The other, a hooded man, had threatened to gut you if you made a sound. The creepy smiley face then looked down at you as the Masked man starts walking. It seemed the Masked stranger was more cautious with his work, while the hood slacked off. You noted this from their body language and the way they interacted this past 5 minutes. It wasn't long until the hooded figure looks as the other carefully examines your living room drawers, rustling like he was looking for treasure. Hoodie then looks back at you.
" Do you wanna bet, Timo--? "
" Don't utter that fucking name. You know better than to reveal that, Hoodie. "
The masked stranger whips around and barks with a husky tone. If you weren't so scared for your life, you would think that the man was a tiny bit attractive. Though, you at least earned a name. The name seemed simple enough, "Hoodie" for a hooded stranger. You keep attentive though, watching as the hooded figure cracks a sigh. You clear your throat though, wondering sarcastically if the others name was "Masky or something".
" Why does it matter? It's not like shes going to live another day, Masky. "
Wow. Color you shocked; you got the name right -- but that didn't stop you from shakily whimpering at the words. Not going to live another day rang in your ears as they continued. Masky narrows his eyes, letting out an exhausted sigh.
" What are you playing at? "
" How about we end this debate with a judge? "
At this point, you and Masky seem to tense in a confused glance at Hoodie. You attentively perks up at the word... What was Hoodie playing at? The yellow hooded man seems to chuckle under his mask, tentively fiddling with the knife as he steps forward once. Masky seems to examine the other.
" Now that I got your attention.. I have an idea. "
" Hoodie, I don't have time for your shit ideas. Spit it out. "
" Okay, okay -- jesus. I noticed you have been very tense recently, such as I... Sooo-- "
He interrupts his speech as he steps towards you. Your heart skips a beat as you try to scoot away, but hoodie crouches and catches your face with a gloved hand. Masky's eyes turn towards you and Hoodie with a look hidden under his mask. Hoodie makes you turn your head fully to Masky in a teasing manner.
" What if we let off some steam? "
" Wh-- why-- "
Masky's eyes widen as he catches on the idea. You are left in the dark as the two exchange looks. Masky shuts the drawer, not breaking his gaze. Hoodie snickers, soon turning your head to him. Your face was inches from his as he keeps his hand dug into your cheeks. You grunt at the pain, attempting to move but failing.
" You can't be serious. "
" C'mon.. She's quite a doll, dont you think? I think she would be the perfect Judge. "
You soon catch on to the idea with wide eyes. To start to squirm slightly, kicking Hoodie's leg. Hoodie hisses as he releases your face. He cursed out as he soon kicks back with much more force. The kick lands on your stomach, a pained cry comes from you. The stinging pain causes you to fall over. Masky looks at you, and you lock eye contact. You already had tears well up into your eyes, almost like a hurt puppy. You watch as Masky's throat bobbed as he gulps, breaking eye contact to look at Hoodie. The hooded man glares through his mask at you, making you flinch in fear.
" You don't get to answer yet, bitch. "
" Hoodie, this isn't a good idea. "
" What? Is the ugly duckling chicken? "
Hoodie taunts, making Masky groan at the comment. Masky looks at him, then at you again. The masked man sighs, ruffling his hair in what seemed to be frustration. You shake your head, tears spilling from your eyes as you curl up against the wall. You hopped that they weren't being serious, but at the same time you remained unsure from the two. You feel your stomach bubble weirdly, and not from the painful kick from earlier. Hoodie groans at your cries in a both annoyance and arousal. You peak up to see Hoodie's mask pulled up enough to show half of his face. You examine his tough jawline and his faint mustache. What made you flutter in a weird, sick way was the shit-eating grin on his face.
" So? What's it going to be? "
" ... What do I get in return? If I win. "
Masky cautiously mused, throwing up sarcastic quote hands at the "win" part. Hoodie's grin becomes a wicked smile.
" Now we're talking.. You get bragging rights and a chance to unwind. I mean -- who would let a good doll go to waste like this? She's so pathetic. "
You whine at the comment, causing the two to glance at you. Your trembling, looking up with pleading eyes as you watch the two.
" Please -- "
" What did I say, whore? "
Hoodie growls as he flicks his knife into your sight, his hand going for your face before --
" I'll do it!! "
You yell out as you quickly shut your eyes. You expect a stinging feeling, or a plunge of a foreign object.. However your met with a frozen silence. You peeked an eye open, noticing the two stranger's expressions. Hoodie stopped in place, the knife mere inches from your face as his mouth is slightly agape with surprise. Masky's eyes are wide with the same surprise.
" ... What - What did you say? "
" I - I'll be the judge. Just- Just please don't kill me. "
You stutter and plee with the hooded figure. Shock soon turned into cocky, unadulterated amusement on the man's face. Hoodie slowly turns to Masky with an astonished laugh. His knife lowers from your face as you open your other eye, watching.
" Even better. We got an attractive freakshow to toy with. C'mon Tim, let loose. "
" What did I tell you, Brian.. "
" Hey! Relax. What's she gonna do, kill us? "
Tim and Brian.. Those names echo before Masky-- or Tim steps and joins the other man as he stands. They both look over you, their oogling making you feel small. Hoodie's smirk fades to a smile, flicking his pocket knife shut. Your almost relieved -- until he started speaking.
" Get up. I'll give the honors of Tim going first. "
You quickly attempt to get up, only for you to stumble as your shaky legs betray you. Hoodie giggles like a little boy as he watches you struggle, but Masky's pants tell more than his mask with this situation. You noticed the thick part stick out of his tight pants, revealing just how aroused he was. Hoodie soon turns around, seeming to go shove everything off your living room table. You flinch at the sound, only for Hoodie to motion you over. You pass Masky was you wobble over, his eyes boring into you attentively as he turns. You stop for a minute, making Hoodie's mouth form into a disgruntled line. You open your lips, and with a careful voice --
" I have one- one request. "
You emphasize the one as you speak, hoping that the two wouldn't attempt to silence you. Hoodie takes a moment to think, before sighing with a groan.
" Hhh- what is it? "
" I- I want to see your faces. "
" ... What-- "
The two men incline harmoniously, but you quickly intercept anything after that. You utter a wait as you step closer, your lips quivering slightly in nervousness.
" You want me to judge, right? We- Well I want to be able- able to judge you both thoroughly... "
You explain with a harsh breath. Your brain screamed against your actions-- logic telling you that you were insane for the request. Though, your body and fluttering adrenaline said otherwise. The two men exchange looks, only before looking at you again. You stand there as you hear Masky's footsteps, shivering as he stands behind you. Hoodie grins slightly. Your face flushes a pale pink, your tied hands balling into fists as they continued to stare.
" You really are a freak, huh? "
" mm-- mhm.. "
" ... Fine. "
" Do I get a say in this?? "
Masky scoffs, obviously defensive of his mask. Though, Hoodie takes off his mask. Your eyes widen as you lock eyes with Hoodie. He cocks an eyebrow, smirking at the small reaction.
" Tim, C'mon. It's not that bad. "
" No. "
He sternly replies, shoving you towards the brunette. You struggle to catch yourself, stumbling as you attempt to stand straight. Hoodie sighs with a tsk, taking you by the shoulders and moving you to sit down on your wood table. You look up at him, his smug look making you red in the face. He laughs at you, not even Noticing Masky next to you both.
" God, your a whore. Getting all hot and bothered by two strangers? Though, I'm flattered. "
He degrades you as he takes steps back. He looks at Masky, a grin on his stubble face. Masky looks on as Hoodie maneuvers on the other side of the small table, sitting on your sofa.
" Go on, you can start the show. Show us what you got, big boy. "
" Don't ever call me that again. "
Masky cringes by the taunt, only to get in front of you. His tall stature makes you more wobbly, watching as he takes off his gloves. He throws them on the floor, soon snaking a hand under your shirt as he stares into your eyes. You tense at his rough, calloused hands as you watch. Hoodie carefully watches. Masky seems to hesitate about something, only before going to your ear.
" Close your eyes. "
Masky whispers in a hushed voice. Your eyes narrow a little bit in curiosity before you feel Masky's hand rubbed your love handles. You finally take a breath as you look at the stranger.
" What? "
" Close your eyes. If you want more, close your eyes. "
You couldn't tell if this was a hint for consent, or he was genuine about it. Either way, you cautiously close your eyes. He seems to reward you with your compliance, hearing the sound of plastic drop to the table and Masky giggles. You gasp as you feel a nibble on your earlobe, sending tingles of weird pleasure down your body.
" Good, Good... Keep them closed until my say, understand? "
" What are you whispering about? Get on with it. "
Hoodie whines, but Masky ignores him. You nod in understanding before you feel Masky take off your shirt. You keep your eyes closed as you shiver at the feeling of lips on your neck. You can hear the faint sound of a click noise, and it seems to irritate Masky as he mutters out something between kisses. You dont dare open your eyes, but you are wondering what Hoodie is planning.. Or at least doing. Your thoughts are interrupted though as Masky takes off your shirt, the cold air of the room hitting your hot skin. Masky pushes you on the table, causing you to let out small gasp. You were now in your black, laced bra you always wore around the house. You hear Hoodie let out a hushed moan, making you want desperately want to see what he is up to. Masky continues his work, and you open your legs for him as his tongue dragged along your neck and his hands guide to your bra. You hear Hoodie stifle a rough groan, before letting out a whitty snicker.
" What a great show, Tim. Smile for the camera~ "
" Fuck off. "
" Wooah, didn't mean t-hah- to piss you off."
His teased tone comes out with a coo, and Masky growls onto your skin. You get a sick feeling knowing that you're being recorded, but you cant help to think about how Hoodie looked sitting there. You moan as you think about the bead of sweat on Hoodie's face dribble down as he palms his pants, holding his camera steadily to the scene as he watches. Your snapped out of it as let out another gasp as Masky lifts your bra up, exposing your tendered breasts. Your nipples were already hardened, and Masky let's out a soft grunt. You hear the sound of Hoodie getting up, the sofa creaking as he does. You tense up, moaning as Masky licks one of your nipples. You feel Hoodie bend down in front of you, and you bite your lip as Masky bites your nipple softly. You can feel Hoodie's hot breath as he chuckled, which made your core throb with neglect.
" Your enjoying this huh? It takes a special type of sicko to like this type of thing."
" You – haah- you like it too though. "
You sputtered out defiantly, making Masky let out a snicker of his own. Hoodie seems to pause, his hand tightly gripping your hair with a huff. He keeps your head up as you spill moans, only before yelping out as Masky bites your breast, feeling the sting as Masky sucks a mark onto you. Hoodie grunts watching you spill your moans out for them. It came as a surprise though as Hoodie pulls you into a kiss. You gasp, giving him time to shove his tongue into the kiss. Your pleasantly surprised as you feel the silver trinket in Hoodie's mouth, processing a tongue piercing. You moan into his moan as he groans in yours, Masky's eyes boring into you both as he pops off your chest with a slick pop. You feel hot as your body flares with pleasure, bucking your hips with want as you moan into Hoodie's mouth. Hoodie smirks in the kiss before pulling away. You feel a string of saliva break as he wipes his mouth. Masky starts to softly kiss down your abdomen. You hear Hoodie mutter suckup– only before turning his attention back to you.
" Do you want more? "
" Mmn – yes ! Yes I do– "
" Really now? What's the magic word. "
You groan at the extent of Hoodie's teasing. He snickers at you, only before bringing a hand to one of your breasts. You let out a whimper, feeling him squeeze the tender piece of flesh. You let out a harsh moan as you feel Hoodie press on Masky's marks on your chest. You gasp as you feel your pants and undergarments tugged down, revealing your wet cunt below. Hoodie chuckles at the sight, clicking his tongue. You feel as Masky teases your body, making you let out a whimper as you buck in the air.
" Pl- please– "
" Oh? Please what? Speak up slut. "
" Mmn- more ! Ah, fuck– "
" Hmmn, good girl. "
Hoodie laughs at your pleas between moans as you hear the faint ziip of a zipper. Masky watches, observing your pretty cunt as it clenches to nothing. You can hear Masky panting, letting out small grunts as he ghosts his hands on your thighs before giving them a squeeze. You let out a groan, wiggling as you plead with the man in front of you. You feel your mouth salivate, drool dribbling down your chin.
" Heh – you hear that Tim? She so desperately wants it shes - hng- drooling. Won't you help the poor girl out? "
Hoodie pleas with a snicker, and Hoodie surprisingly obliges. You suck in a deep breath, gasping as you feel Masky's fingers slide between your folds. You moan out as he touches your swollen clit, finally opening your eyes. Hoodie gawks at how you look, sweat clinging to your red face as you tremble on the wooden surface. Though you can't help but eye his camera, aimed down at your cunt as Masky plays with your folds. The next thing you noticed made your heart stutter. Hoodie's manhood was present in front of you, thick and throbbing with neglect. His rendered veins pop out slightly, and he was definitely more average. Hoodie's face reddened as you drool over his dick. Masky doesn't comment as you peacefully open your eyes, but you gasp as he starts to lick at your folds, making you gasp.
" T– Tim!! FucK– "
You choke out loud, causing Masky's grip to tighten on you. Hoodie scoffs, continuing to eye you both as he aims the camera to your face. Hoodies statement earlier was definitely a lie. Ugly Duckling your ass, the way Masky's harsh eyes preyed upon your reactions made you already want to come. Hoodie watches with a groan as you then return your attention to him, your eyes dilated with want and need.
" Fuck.. You really are a cockslut, huh? C'mon, I got you help.. "
Hoodie breaths, aiming his dick to your lips. You moan out as Masky laps up at your wet folds, teasing your clit with wet circles. You look up at Hoodie with a heaving chest, watching as his smug face soon turns into a lustful need.
" .. Now help me, doll. "
Hoodie whimpers – whimpers out as you finally open your mouth with a hunger. Your tongue swirls around the tip of his penis, making him let out a sigh of relief as he pushes into your mouth. Your moans vibrate on Hoodie's cock as Masky inserts his tongue into your cunt, his nose pressed onto your labia as he slurps up your fluids. You feel your body grow hotter as you squirm and tense, arching your back in pleasure. Masky's moans dont help as they vibrate into you, making you loose some of your thoughts. Hoodie smirks as you squirm, groaning from the vibrations to his manhood. He soon bites his lip, shoving more of his cock into your mouth with a tight squeeze. You choke, but don't gag. Hoodie is pleasantly surprised that you dont have a gag reflex, causing his dick to twitch in satisfaction. He continues to throat fuck you through your high, you shaking and trembling as your suffocated. Soon, you come onto Masky's face, the brunette desperately lapping and drinking the sweet fluids you gave him.
" Good girl. "
You hear Hoodie breath, thrusting in your throat before pulling out. You gasp and choke for air, letting out a loud whine as Masky plays with your clit. The stings of overstimulation makes you arch more in broken moans and whimpers. You babble before Hoodie quickly shuts you up, shoving his slick cock back into your mouth. Masky grunts, his moans stuttered as he stands. He comes onto you with a growl, panting as slick white ropes on your thighs and cunt. You choke on Hoodie's length as he facefucks you, moans and grunts spilling out of him. He babbles, muttering praising remarks with subtle degrading terms. It was long until he let's out a drawn moan, burying himself all the way in the back of your throat. You spasm as you come with him, for the second time. He covers his sticky ropes down your throat, pulling out. He quickly keeps a hand covering your mouth, his eyes narrowing at you.
" Swallow it. "
He sternly muses, in which you shakily swallow his juices. He groans watching your throat Bob as you swallow, letting his hand release your mouth. The room is filled with panting, harsh breathes, and the stink of sex in the air as you three catch your senses. You feel your body hot and bothered, covered in different fluids as your head spins with a small headache. As you all start to get your sense, Masky is the first to speak up with his gruffed voice.
" So… Who is better? "
" Why is that even a question? I'm obviously the best. "
" Zip it. You're not the one that made her scream your name. "
The two banter on as you think for a moment. Your body is heavy as you watch the two argue. You groan, wiggling as you get up from the table. You feel yourself peel off the wood from the slick sweat. The two silence at once, anticipating your answer. It wasn't long until you giggle, which turned into a mused sigh.
" I don't know.. I might need a round two. "
" What!? You can't possibly– "
" I'll do it. "
Masky happily obliges, leaving Hoodie at a loss of words or taunts. He pauses, mouth agape before turning into a disbelieved chuckle. You watch as Hoodie silently clicks his camera off, plopping it on the table. Masky's eyes are full of delirious lust, and Hoodie swears he's never met such a freak like you. Something in you tells you that you are in for a loong day.
#creepypasta#creepypasta smut#not safe for minors#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#mdni#cp masky#marble hornets#marble hornets hoodie#masky x you#masky x reader#masky marble hornets#hoodie x reader#hoodie x you#creative writing#masky x hoodie#fanfiction#fandom#fanfic#smut#not proofread
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