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roughdaysandart · 2 months

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My magnum opus: This portion of the Ch16 Rough Day comic script edits

Ok I say something's my magnum opus ALOT, but this is it...at least for now, thats how much I adore this. Once again im trying to keep as much of it to the original as possible but there really is so much that you can do to modify that much charachter-developing smut out before you have to make another scenario to convey the same message and flow with the original story and plot/direction seamlessley.

Why did I suddenly jump to abridging the LAST section of ch 16 for chrisitan roomates today? Well, I happened to rewatch Eyes Wide Shut today, and the Christmas party scene between Alice and the Stranger got me thinking of the perfec scenario in which to remove explicit smut from the picture while conveying the same idea:

Instead of taunting Mando with Spicy Comm time, why not have Sweet Girl talking to another man while he listens instead?

ALOOOOt of good ideas from EWS entering my mind palace now (not the creepy ones tho...also def no infidelity bc SG WOULD NEVER) for the edits, and Im so excited to share more editied/revised/added scenes prompted by EWS!

***DISCLAIMER: since this more like a script right now, not all of the dialougue is included yet (will do that when I make my way back to CH 16 in a few weeeks probrobly, trying to do edits in chronological order of the chapters), just the descriptions and jists of the changed scenes, how they relate to past and future content, etc, although admit thats some parts have full dialougue because I couldnt stop myself.***

Anyway, heres your CHUM my fellow sickos, feast away!

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ROUGH DAY (original by @no-droids), CH 16, "Ask me again tomorrow" (last part): ABRIDGED FOR CHRISTIAN ROOMATES BY @roughdaysandart

Sweet Girl is in the middle of downtown Nariss, after buying a change of clothes. Standing in the square right in front of a large tower of an inn. She surveys at least two dozen floors, noticing how it even boasts a convention/event center, or maybe it's a restaurant, somewhere around the center, the large, warmly-lit balcony likely having a perfect view of the city skyline, and she hears it audibly bustling. She notices a banner outside the front doors of the Inn advertising an all-night auction. Some traveling collection of artistic and historical rarities from the outer-rim.

Knowing it's crazy-expensive to pay for anythig here, she knows there's no way she's spending her precious credits on a room, even after spending last night in a tree, and is definitely not feeling bold enough to break into a room either when a New Republic headquarters is literally right next to the Inn.

At first she naturally wants to stay clear of officers, knowing they're trouble for Din, but then recalls what he said before she left.

(insert flashback : “I’m only telling you so that you’ll know your advantage and find a way to exploit it. I can’t be seen by any officers, or they might arrest me.”

Thinking about the growing variables in her favor, along with her increasing fatigue, she decides she IS feeling bold enough to try sneaking into the lobby or a secluded corner within the inn that has a sofa she could rest on for the night. But then another thought comes to mind: on the chance that Din does get close to her tonight: if she’s going for crowds and officers, why try to be out of the way then? Why not take it as far as she possibly can right now?

She shuffles in her pack to find and put on her mechanic’s goggles, which she only brought out of habit, not believing that she would actually end up using them for something like this. Finding a spare tool and trash bin in an adjacent alley, she confidently walks past the Inn’s receptionist, grumbling about how she hates being called in this late for repairs. She then rides the lift to a random floor, finds her way to the nearest bathroom, leaves the tools in a random stall, and takes all the time in the galaxy freshening herself up and changing into her clean clothes.

Close to midnight. She knows where she's gotta go next. Leaving her bag in the fancy decorative dresser in the ladies room, she walks out, an air of vitality entering her despite the fatigue with the new feeling of cleanliness. Making her way to the lift again, she politely asks a passing service droid where that auction she saw a banner for is tonight.

She finds everything she's looking for there. She expected something like this, but didn't expect to hit the total Maker-jackpot. There are officers even at the door of the bar, holding security for the largest and grandest collection of items she has ever seen on the balcony. For them to not hire private security, she thinks, the event or company must be affiliated with the New Republic somehow, maybe some resesrch-based or educational branch. Shes seen countless large gatherings these past few months as a consequence of traveling with Din, but never has she been to anything like this. Such a vibrant venue littered with well dressed attendees, whom she guesses must all be there to admire or bid for the pieces. Upon passing the epicenter of the auction, she takes notice of the particularly ordinary outer-rim objects and such displayed, knowing first hand of how common or worthless such things are, at least back on Arvala-7. Perhaps to everyone else, such ordinary things from the outer-rim are seen as exotic rarities.

She also comes to see that the balcony and patio is not only a convention center, but also dons an equally exsquisite bar. And it's not the mere presence of a bar that necessarily excites her, but the plethora of plush seating fixtures littering the surrounding space of it. And although she didn't want to waste credits on a room here, she KNOWS she has credits for what she sees as she nears the bar. She can't resist when she notices a certain wine fixture on one of the glass shelves, its contents the same distinct color as and labeled with the depiction of that purple fruit she had come to crave these last few days here.

Drink in hand, she makes her way to the large sofa up against the corner farthest from the doors, passing close to and admiring the view of the skyline at the edge of the balcony. Now, her view is triangulated, where she can see the bar, crowded auction, and the vast opening of the balcony. She plans to just rest there for a few hours, maybe just doze off until she gathers her strength again and can scurry off to begin evading Din long enough tomorrow to reach the orphanage.

It is then she notices the comm clock change to midnight, and she opens the comm first, making an effort to cup her hand along her face and ear in an attempt to block the ambient chatter from Din. He notices her demeanor, along with the chatter, predicting correctly that she is somewhere nicer in the city after spending last night in a tree. They talk for a few minutes as she continues to sip on her glass, more frequently as the banter grows, not imagining the fruit could taste any better than it already did. Okay with the alcohol, yes, but also with Din’s company. He mentions that they need to charge the communicators tonight, and SG contemplates how she is going to find a place to leave hers as she rests in the bar for the night.

After a bit of her glass is emptied, she sets it on the low table in front of her, readying to respond to Din’s last remark. From her lowered gaze, she sees a hand reach out, lifting to take it away. “Sorry, that's my glass”, she protests as she adjusts her gaze upwards, vision noticeably a little buzzed. A well dressed man. A very well dressed man. He pauses as she blinks, pulled out of her euphoria in forgetting anyone else or thing existed beyond the exchange between her and Din. In one motion he then slides past the table to sit by her at the empty side of the long sofa, handing the glass back to her hand. “I’m absolutely certain of it.” he clarifies warmly.

The comm is still open. She would have closed it to prevent anything the man said from possibly giving her location away, but her mind was lagging a little both from the unexpected newcomer and the continued buzz. The man's tone is noticeably flirtatious. A small introductory exchange occurs, and she entertains his flattery lightly, giving passive responses and continuing only because she is so humored by how Din relentlessly questions who this man is, what she's doing, through the earpiece. And, she can't help but feel a bit reckless with this ridiculously good wine in her system.

Throughout the conversation, her responses double in meaning to both the man and Din. They are mildly flirtatious responses to the man, but are in fact clever answers to all that Din grunts through the earpiece as he grows more agitated, though most of it is purposefully taunting, being how he knows this tone is only for him. But it is for him,she reasons, it just happens to also answer the things that man in front of her says.

The man attempts to impress her by mentioning his prestigious position in the traveling exhibition of outer rim rarities and such (funny line: about how she is an outer rim rarity/beauty). He mentions that this is the gallery’s last night, that they always do an all-night event to close the gallery before leaving in the morning. He sighs, stating how disappointed he is that he decided to leave earlier than the end of the event tonight, not expecting to happen upon company like her. He explains that he even had all his things already packed and put on the company ship, and that he was just on his way to drop off his key before he sat here (flashing the room key from out of his pocket intentionally).

She obviously doesn't even consider the proposition, but thinks for a moment. An empty room, a high rise SUITE, and the guest is conveniently NOT spending their last night in it. She, or maybe the wine, convinces herself that she HAS to keep entertaining him so she can distract him long enough to swipe that key. It's beyond dangerous territory with Din hearing it all, like poking a caged animal with the way he can just do nothing but endure. She may know that it's just a distraction to get the room key, but Din most certainly won't. He will think she is escalating things just to get to him for no reason, and she wouldn't normally be this bold, but the promise of a free shower and mattress is too irresistible. Plus, she's sure she can explain herself to him, however warped but harmless her logic is right now, once he calms down. If he calms down. If he doesn't find her right this second and choke this man out right in front of her with blind rage. But Din’s growing demands into the comm to know her location make it obvious that he won't be finding her anytime soon.

She takes that into consideration, and can't help but enjoy the sudden power trip she has in making Din this helpless, knowing how rare it is. Disguised in conversation with the man, she lets Din know of her desire for him to see her, and how he should naturally feel the same desire. It's in this section that she discovers and turns on the video function of the communicator.

“…You wouldn’t.” Din challenges.

Din can now see and hear her head-on as the comm on her wrist faces her head while it moves to rest on the higher cushion of the couch near the man’s neck. Din is obviously fuming through the ear piece the whole time now being able to see what she is doing. Between blending conversation with the man, she manages to look into the camera and basically speak directly to Din, the audacity only making him more ruffled. The conversation with the man continues to escalate, and she moves closer, subtly inching her freehand where she knew she saw the key return to his pocket.

After successfully swiping the key, the next few moments in their conversation ultimately brings it to an end. The man asks about something that makes her response include a word that has “Man” within it, and the exchange ends something like this:

“Man-uh-man(___finish word___),” she stutters, feeling something as her heart remembers that all too familiar word she was so close to uttering. The stuttering means that she is taken aback when she hears something in the earpiece interrupt the word. “Din,” he whispers, so quiet she almost wouldn't have heard if it didn't come directly in her ear, like he almost doesn’t want to but has to anyway, and then her face turns red hot. The man asks if everything is alright with her sudden flusteredness.“D-Din,” she blurts instead, trying to keep her voice as quiet as possible through the rising swell, though at the same time quite forcefully trying to NOT say it. It would NOT be good to mention his name to anyone, even if by accident, even if the man has no idea what those three precious letters really mean. She blurts, “D-DINNER, I–uh– need to have dinner, that's all-uh. T-too much to drink heh heh”.

The man mentions how late it is for dinner, though propositions to join her. She manages to convince him to stay seated when she promises to let him after she uses the ladies room. In the last few creative flirtatious remarks she uses to try and appear genuine about it, Din’s voice comes through the ear piece, only different.

“Stop.” he growls, the return of his natural authoritative tone jarring in her flustered moment. He must have seen it, she thinks. She still had her wrist up when she was caught off guard, before she ended the video-function. He saw the way her tummy and chest started to heave, how her body froze at the shock of hearing him say his name suddenly—and yeah, Maker, he saw it, because his tone makes her quickly scurry out of the bar, sad to have accidentally left the rest of her glass behind. Oh well, she thinks, just makes the man believe more that she's coming back, better for her she guesses.

Making her way back to the bathroom she cleaned up in a few levels below, she begins trying to explain herself to a very incoherent Din, trying to start with how she had to do it, but not able to clarify exactly why she had to quick enough over Din’s explosiveness. The middle of the exchange goes something like this:

“Dank Far–,” Din spits through the earpiece, and she thinks the mic might just break. “You think—y-you think—”

What?” she hums, basking in the afterglow and rush of the epic saga before and so, so curious. Truly, completely mindless in this cloud of sensation, she has no clue what she's thinking, but if anybody would be able to tell her, it’s him.

She reaches into the dresser in the ladies room and hauls her heavy pack onto her back. There’s a moment where his breathing stops. It’s completely silent on the line, before she hears another few heavy footsteps on his end pick up and then halt just as quickly.

“You think you can taunt me?” He murmurs, dangerous and deadly quiet. “Show me exactly where you are, disappear and then make me waste forever trying to get there? You think that’s gonna work?”

She makes her way out into the hall and towards the lift, considering it. He may have not predicted her strategy perfectly, but his insight has stopped surprising her by now. “...Maybe.”

You can hear the seeping agitation in the short pause.

“Maybe you shouldn’t fall asleep tonight.”

Ooh. That one sends goosebumps down her arms, but she's gained four hours on top of a twelve hour head start. He can’t scare her with that tone, not when she's still woozy with giddyness and he isn’t right in front of her. Instead of wilting beneath the hard threat, she just blinks gently at the communicator as she pushes the button to the floor that matches the one on the room key, finding strength in being the only one to get him this worked up when he’s always so composed, this talkative when he barely says a word. “Maybe I’ll just stay here then?”

“Maybe you wanted me to know you’re in an inn because you already found someplace to hide that isn’t one,” Din reasons very, very adeptly. Stars, her heart subtly begins to pick up at the speed in which he's going to speak this fast. “Can’t be planning to stay with someone you just met because you’d already be there, can’t be going to a hostel because you found the one city on this moon built for commerce and not aid. Not staying in another inn, you can’t afford it—the view looks high up, that robe is expensive, and you already bought food and at least five pairs of shoes in two days. I don’t think the place you found is even in Nariss. You think you can outsmart me, sweet girl?”

The chill down her spine doesn’t reach her eyes, she doesnt let it. She just feels herself smile, tilting her head, but Din doesn’t accept her silence the way she’s always accepted his. He wants an answer from her, right now, and it’s clear in the dark rumble of his voice, the danger slowly brewing beyond what she originally planned for.

“Tell me,” he orders, unamused and leaving no room to disobey.

As the lift door opens, she thinks ahead and decides to spare them both his likely meteoric response of hearing the room door beep and open in a minute.

“How long do you think you can keep running?”

She waits a second when she braces herself at what she's about to dare to do before she quickly whispers it. “I………gotta go”, she winces with a mischievous smile as she goes to close the comm line.

“DON’T YOU D-” Dins voice starts, only to be cut off immediately.

The silence is deafening after, him practically yelling that last bit, and she hopes that the cradle was closed so the kids' poor little ears were saved from the blast. She exits the lift and moves down the hall, heart still racing from daring to cut him off at the peak of his rage. She finally finds the key’s matching room, and Maker, when she opens the door, she tries to stifle her gasp so as to not wake any neighbors in the hall.

The room is extravagant. The first thing she notices is the giant window peeking over the breathtaking skyline, letting in all of the purple and blue hues of light the sky blended with the glowing lights of the city. And then the bed, a giant bed and a giant mattress. It might as well be made out of pure spice the way it makes her nearly sob with happiness.

She then spends an untraceable amount of time enjoying the exploits of her treacherous efforts. An actual shower and mattress, dying of sleep depravity and the mental energy needed to keep up that whole exchange through it. Once she finally pauses to settle on the bed, she opens the comm line again, bracing herself for what might be the most nervous she's had to be in a while.

“Finally going to tell me where you are?”. Din’s voice isn't loud, but it most certainly isn't relaxed. He must be livid now, having all that time to fester and brew as she took her time cleaning herself up in the fresher. He might only sound this calm not to scare her off, if that's what he thinks made her hang up last time anyway. “In a way, yeah.” she starts. “It's actually good news, but you may hate me for it, if you don't already.” She lets a short pause ring in the air in an attempt to measure his temperature. “.......good news…..” Din finishes, audibly impatient and saying it through a clenched jaw. Seeing how he is making such a desperate effort to sound composed and just keep her talking, she once again thinks it's safe to venture into dangerous territory once more tonight with him.

“Remember how you thought I wasn't planning to stay with someone I'd already met, or I'd already be there?”

“…………………………………..yes”

“…..Well I am here””

“…………………………………..okay”

“B-but i'm not with them”

“................................................uhhuh”

“A-and do you remember the man I talked to earlier, at the bar?”

“.............................................…I'm trying not to”

And do you remember when he mentioned his uh…room?

“………”

“D-din?”

“……………………….how…could I….forget.” Din spurts through gritted teeth, almost a mumble. She's sure if he's got something in his hand right now, it's most certainly broken with the way his fists must be clenched, she just prays it's not the kid.

“Uh-well-I um….”

“…………………………………......you what?”

“.........................................…. I’m in their room–”

“you–”

A prolonged silence sinks in, and she wonders how long she can even let this go on before something genuinely bad happens. She's already had her fun for the night, why push it more when she's already gotten what she wanted out of him?

Letting DIn’s stunned silence radiate a few seconds more, she finally laughs, explosively, forgetting any concept of neighbors anymore. Stuttering between giggles, she manages to utter: “Im-s-soryy-HAHA-its b-because I haha-i um–....I st-stole his room key—hahaHAHAHAHAH–I–m so sorry that I -–ha– but it was right there and he didn't even notice-HAHAHA- when he was busy talking to me, so dumb and clueless HAHAHAHAHAHA” . More silence over the comm, and she wonders if he actually hung up before she could finish before. She stops laughing a moment to check in case. “D-din? I'm so sorry, haha” she says breathlessly, gasping for air and hoping for any response at all at this point.

“......For the first time in my life, I feel provoked to throw my helmet.”

“ahaha–Please dont be mad, I had to–”

“ –Mad? That's not the word we're dealing with, what we've got is something I can't even think of a word for. And you HAD to?” He sounds beyond annoyed, but she's grateful he's not boiling like before.

“HAHAHAHAHA, k-kind of–HA–”

“….You think that was funny?” his tone gets serious again. "You better pray that I never find that man".

"Well I know for a fact he's not coming back, which is why I took it" she childishly giggles.

Din stays silent. For a second, she prays he doesn't actually throw the whole chase out the window just to find that man as soon as possible now and vent his anger.

Suppressing her gasps for oxygen, she starts: “ohh come on, you predicted that I would be somewhere nicer after spending last night in a tree. You should've known what I was really after the whole time haaha- I I know you didn't see him show me the card but– I let you see me the whole time, how could I in Maker’s name ever–?”

“Doesn't matter if it was a means to an end, that was just….. way too hard to watch.”

A second of silence passes as her breathing finally slows.

“I'm sorry you had to hear it”, she breathes, sincerity rising in her tone. “But I wouldn't have wanted you to hang up, I missed your voice. … I swear, all I was thinking about was you the whole time, in my ear, I could barely keep up the conversation trying not to say your name. I only thought of you and how much I wanted you with me then.”

“……………..”

“-Y-you and t-the uh–room key—haHAHAHHAHAHHAH”

“I've met mercenaries less sadistic than you are right now.” His voice sounds flat, just in pure astonishment at how she is actually able to push it yet again. Another burst of laughter, and she falls back on the bed, gasping for air as she tries to regain her composure.“Well why don't you come give me what I deserve and lock me away already, hmmm? Bounty hunter?”

“That's one way to put it”, his voice sounding more humored at the thought, though clearly still trying to sound as upset as he can. “AHA-hahahaaaaahahaha…..”, her laughter fades finally from pure exhaustion, her abdomen now on fire from the extended flexing.

Note: and something like : "you know im not goint to let this go/forget this easily/make you pay for that"

"Haaaa, I'm counting on it." she sighs.

A few seconds pass as the tension settles with the time. “Give me your coordinates”. A tender, sweet tone seeping through the mic. She closes her eyes and exhales, “Ask me again tomorrow.” But then, instead of immediately responding, she just hears Din’s footsteps suddenly pick up, faster than any pace she’s been able to keep over the past few days. She doesn't think it sounds like a run necessarily, she knows that his legs and strides are far longer than hers and it’s probably pretty much equivalent to a run for her. She hears the rhythm of her demise speeding up, coming closer and closer, and everything in her both fears it and welcomes it.

“We’ll see,” he tells her, and then the red light vanishes and her earpiece clicks to silence.

She moves to place the comm on the charger at the bedside nightstand, at last able to put her mind to sleep along with her body.

Even though it takes her much longer to do so than it normally would on a bed so large and comfortable, after such an exciting night and not being used to flickering light when she tries to sleep but wanting to experience the rarity anyways, she’s eventually able to pass out. But, not even a few minutes into a restless dream, she turns over and accidentally knocks her communicator off the wireless charging station on the side table.

It blinks with four percent battery life.

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queen-of-my-goofball-army · 2 years

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“Sometimes people are like flames, their inferno will be so bright and boisterous, the color a glorious ray of light. But, just when you get used to the flames color it’s gone.”

I really wish that my first edit in months could be an optimistic one. I could talk about how Stranger Things 4 vol 1 stole my heart along with Steve coming back at me with that simp nailed bat. But sadly today that’s just not the case. Most of you know by now my obsession with Promare, it’s one of the driving forces of my special interest and comfort movies. It’s a movie that gave me so much inspiration for my own life and Galo was this ray of light and enthusiasm that I badly needed in my life during COVID-con. I also started to get really into Demon Slayer, Osamatsu San, and Welcome To The Demon School Iruma Kun. All of these shows have one thing in common. They all had characters that were voiced by somebody that for the last two years I've really admired, Billy Kametz. His light voice that could do so many different things, one of the few VAs that almost always made me cackle laugh when he was being a ridiculous character, made me emotional when they finally achieved their dreams, and just made me want to support them through everything that they went through during their time in that storyline.

For those that were unaware, it was announced on the 26th of April of this year that Kametz had been diagnosed with colon cancer. He had probably had it for a while as he was not feeling well for a long period of time. At first I was shell-shocked. How could this ray of light be given this diagnosis that could be deadly and so young. His career was really just beginning and there was so many things that he could have done. I remember rewatching Promare that day and just for the first time I was just over there bawling my eyes out. It didn't seem fair to me. That a voice actor who was so known for being this ray of sunshine to be given this thing that could kill him. But he swore that he would beat it. He looked at that walking death sentence, laughed at it, and swore that it wouldn't get to him. At least, that's what I saw via his Twitter. I would see his GoFundMe's and his fans cheering him on rooting for him every single day. To see the community come together and support this voice actor who's career was just starting, it was extremely heartwarming and I loved seeing it. I thought that it would be like with Rob Paulsen. He'd get better, beat it back with the flaming inferno Galo Thymos style and I'd be able to one day meet him at a con and finally get to thank him for how much Galo meant to me which was a lot.

Apparently, casting Galo dubbed was really hard and nearly impossible to do. So they reached out to one of the cast members that they already had Erica Lindbeck to see if she knew anybody that would be good for the role. Through her, they found Billy Kametz who was perfect for the world's number one firefighting idiot. They had this extra feature on the DVD where it was a behind the microphone look at everything and you could see him singing Inferno behind the microphone. That was who I saw him as when he was fighting. That guy with the big goofy smile on his face in the recording booth singing and laughing and just being Galo. He looked like he was having the absolute time of his life on that project and he brought so much life, so much lovability, and so much heart to Galo. There was something so unique about him that he just never failed to bring a smile to my face. Comfort characters are frequent to me, but characters that inspire me to be my best self, those are few and far between. And one of my favorites of recent years is Galo.

I went onto my Twitter yesterday afternoon, 3:08 in the afternoon and the first thing that I saw was a tweet from Max Mittleman the voice of Saitama in One Punch Man, Plaq in Miraculous Ladybug, King in Seven Deadly Sins, and one of my personal favorites Todomatsu in Osamatsu San. He was the first farewell message that I saw. It instantly sent me spiraling because there was no way right? There was no way that he could've died, he was only 35 and he had so much life ahead of him. So much work that he hadn't been able to do. But a google search and a further Twitter search proved to me that I was wrong. Billy Kametz had lost his battle with cancer earlier on in the week. His life was just beginning as was his voice acting career. He left behind this untouchable legacy. He got to be a Joestar in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. He got to be a main character in one of the most popular anime films of the last five years. He was this shining inferno that I looked up to and that inspired me with every time that I would see his smile or see a tweet from him I would remember what that feeling was like finding that inspiration in him.

My Twitter yesterday was this beautiful shrine to him and I feel like I really got a good read for the kind of person that he was. One of my favorites was reading about his relationship with Alejandro Sabb, one of my other favorite voice actors. It's almost hard to believe that he's gone. I never got to meet the person. Only got to know him through one of my favorite characters over the last two years. My thoughts are with those that loved him. With Alejandro Sabb, Jonah Scott, Alex Le, and with his girlfriend Erica Lindbeck. I hope that they find their ways to grieve for the person that Billy was, the person that he always seemed to be to me.

I will miss Billy's light, his own personal inferno so much. He was such a strong inspirational figure for my life. No matter what I'll remember him the way that he was. As my favorite world's number one firefighting idiot, as my favorite lovable simp in Welcome To The Demon School Iruma Kun, as the shield hero Nafumi. So many characters he left behind as mere the voice behind the microphone. But without his voice, so many characters wouldn't have been the same. I hope that wherever he is, he's content in a world without pain. That he's laughing and waiting for the rest of his friends to one day join him.

#promare #comfort characters #photo edit #rising of the shield hero #welcome to demon school iruma kun #osamatsu san #demon slayer #rest in peace #billy kametz

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0aurelion-sol0 · 7 months

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While the theories/analyses in the works are still in the drafts, I just wanted to share some thoughts about what might & will happen today for Stranger Things Day (the 2023 edition). Lovely promotional art btw!

Now I'm not super-duper excited about all of it but, (in fact much of ST related content hasn't excited me for a while now) but that isn't the point, I appreciate a throwback, not thursday but monday in that case.

I think it's a good move on their part, especially for stories that are culturally significant, to return & go back through the whole journey that happened before the finish line; mainly becauses it engages the audience in revisiting in a way that's helpful for people who don't have the time to rewatch all of it & also really being part of the moment that's happening. In the sense that they are being stimulated via their own experiences & memories of it, & that is always good. Especially if most of it is positive.

And I enjoy the way they've done the marketing about pre-Season 5 so far, it's present but not overwhelming & has certain subtleties to it like in for the new ice cream flavours for example. It's all a bit creepy yet familiar, I enjoy it.

Nooooow... I also did not finish some of my theories, that I could have dropped because they were very much shorter than usual & I don't think they were about things that would have been easily disproved faster than I would've liked to be but you never know. If it's to drop something that's going to be proven false in 2 days, there's no point in dropping it anyway.

Do I think we're going to get a lot from this ST Day ? No. Apart from possibly them giving us the episode titles of the final season which I doubt because it seems a bit early for me & new infos on the play which... we already have covered enough for me, I think 🤔 & believe it or not, the new things I hears about it are quite intriguing & reassuring, so that's nice! but apart from that, I don't think we're going to get much.

With the strikes that happened & that are ongoing, the writing that to my knowledge has yet to be completed & filming that hasn't even started, I don't really see what we could get.

Now I could be completely wrong, there might be something huge in stores or multiple things that are going to be revealed.

My wish would be to have a new video game, specifically a horror one that's slightly abstract & psychological. First person too! But a follow-up to the ST arcade games, 1984 & 3 covering Season 4 would be nice to. And we're not at a point where we can get an open-world ST game so I'm not asking.

Perhaps some new comics or books, they're always nice to me, canon or not. Maybe some merch, though I'm not a big ST merch lover, not that it's bad, I'm just not really interested in most of it.

Now given the revisiting aspect plus other elements of this day speaks to me plus works with some of the theories I've been working on, oh yes! Here's what I'm most excited to get into soon is:

- a return to Season 2, (Season 1's chaotic little sister but who follows in her footsteps & admires her very much) they've been pushing the fandom to revisit this season for Season 5 and I'm very eager to see what they are going to push forward about it given the fact they called it underrated which THEY ARE RIGHT! The fandom does not appreciate this season enough plus has a delusional hate towards "The Lost Sister" which is a fine episode. And it has Will as a main protagonist with a heavy focus on the Byers, with an interesting take on a Lovecraftian menace, so how can you not appreciate it ? So yeah, that's that.

Next, to my own surprise: - "The First Shadow", yes I did not expect myself to be as interested right now as I am about this given what it covers but the more the crew talks about it & the more new elements about it come out, the more I think there's truly something worth our time & engagement here. First, good news, it's definitely not mandatory to watch it for Season 5 which is good, secondly, it's going to be a retelling and a new exploration of events & characters in the past which is always nice and definitely something we need after Season 4 & finally, actual nuances & complexities for the character of Henry Creel, finally! cause I can't take the characterization & the writing of his character that's been done in Season 4. (Though I heard he may have a romance, which I hope it is not the case, because one of the very few positives of his character is that there was absolutely no romance attached to his character compared to the rest so I really hope it does not happen...) So let's see what this play will do & what it might save going into Season 5 because it does look promising.

After that, we have the messy & campy one, the - return to Season 3: now I know what the fandom thinks of this season & while I agree it's far from perfect & turned many aspects of ST for the worse, the campiness & over the top aspect of certain elements works for what it's talking about & paying hommage to. It has it's own charm & has to me the better horror elements of ST so far or at least the better result; the antagonists were just fantastic to me plus the monster is one of the coolest. So it has still a lot in it that's very enjoyable, plus Scoops Troop is probably the best group of the show.

Now it's turned upside-down which likely means that putting it this way compared to the other was intentional and all I can think of about is that it's supposed to hint at again that weird nature of Season 3 that's different compared to most of the other seasons (mostly... *cough* Season 4 *cough*) and that they may point to it in some way. There's a lot of themes, choices & story elements of Season 3 that remains unanswered & vague, quite "meta" in fact. Perhaps on purpose, perhaps not since these elements, sometimes negative & which already started to appear in Season 2 are right now impossible for me to give a straight answer because The Duffers have not been reassuring about this part of their writing to say the least. So we will see how it turns out but it could be interesting.

Next we have to return to Season 1: which we can all agree is still the best written season of Stranger Things to date, it is by definition a masterpiece but I am not excited as perhaps others to return to it because they haven't done a good job following on the quality of it plus having a true continuity with the stories & themes it started and the way they explored those. I am afraid of more retcons they could pull with that season which clearly hints & answers different mysteries of it in a way that's completely different to what the latest seasons have given us plus not put forward all the storylines they've left in the mud for it's characters that aren't about romance.

It's always a pleasure going back to this season but if it's to justify the mistakes of the latest season, they can keep it. We need to the actual better parts & elements of that season. The photography, the cinematography, the music, the themes & ambience of it, the characters & the way they're explored... If not, there's no point.

And finally, the one I don't care for, the return to Season 4: I'm not going to repeat what I've already said about this season, most people know & you probably have already guessed what I feel about it but I truly feel it's the only really true mediocre content ST has given me so far. I will not act like it's the worst thing in the world because it would be simply not true but it has more bad than good and when it's bad, it's really bad. Not even a gorgeous usage of Kate Bush will save it for me (it ruins it itself... 🤭). I don't hate it like I used to anymore but I'm still very much annoyed by it.

Between retcons, uninteresting developments & characters, regressions, missed opportunities and an AMPLIFICATION of the worst aspects of Season 3 plus unnecessary long for what it has to say, I just haven't been able to appreciate any of it one year later. And I don't think I ever will, not even if the final season is a f*cking masterpiece & save what it did. Perhaps as a part of a whole series if the ending really makes up for it but alone, it's horrible to go through.

So yeah, that's it. They probably already started by the time I've finished and dropped this post but it's okay, I have fully accepted that time is not really my friend anymore. X) I hope y'all have a good day and hopefully we will get interesting stuff & surprises.

#stranger things #stranger things day #st day #stranger things: the first shadow #stranger things 2 #stranger things 3 #stranger things 4 #stranger things 5

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camistired · 4 years

Text

the peculiar one

chp. 3 // welcome to river-hell

not edited

january 23, 2019

word count: 3138

song: antidote by faith marie

one / two

I couldn't sleep. The feeling of dread washed over me, making my eyes stay stapled open as I lay on my back. The soft sound of the TV show I was watching on my phone bounced off the walls but never met my ears. All I could think of is what will happen in the few hour ahead.

I didn't hate school, surprisingly. I do excellent in my class besides the two I seemed to take a little longer to comprehend. It was the people at the school that made me feel this way. The whole group of people that I knew to be there, it all just seemed like a scene from 'Heather's' or 'Mean Girl's'.

Either way, I was not willing to be Cady or Veronica in this situation. I turn over to see my phone had turned off. I got out of bed and walk over to my bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet to grab my sleeping pills. I take one, seeing as I already took my dosage earlier and it was still not even working. I lay back down and eventually lost myself in a dream world. And a strange one at that.

I open my eyes to see myself in a basement of sorts. I gag as the smell of blood and rotten blood fill my nose. I look around to find an empty chair, ropes loosely hung around the back of it. I hear the faint sound of crying making me turn to see a woman with her head hung low.

When she looked up, her face was impossible to identify. It's as if the world scratched out her face to show absolute nothing. Her cries seemed to echo off the walls louder. Footsteps slowly made their way down, only to be met with another faceless person. It's as if the world didn't want me to see that these people were out there, somewhere, in the world.

The womans cries and got louder and louder, my ears ringing as it seemed to get to a pitch only a dog could here. Than it all just- stopped. The cries were gone, the scratches on their faces seemed to be changing hues every second, and the room slowly turned into nothingness.

My eyes pop open as I stare at my ceiling. The only words coming to mind were; what the fuck? Obviously sleep deprivation and my imagination are never a good mix for dreams. I look over at the clock on my wall to see it's only 6:17.

I groan inwardly and have up on sleep. What's the point? I'll have to get up in an hour anyways. I sit up and decide to rewatch 'The Breakfast Club'. It's genuinely one of my favorite movies from the eighties. Hell- one of my favorite movies in general.

I sat silently as I watch the opening as I relate to certain things and people. Obviously I relate myself more to Allison, being a bit of a basket case myself, but I can easily put myself in the others perspective. I also silently wish I could have a group of friends like theirs. Seemingly strangers with nothing in common, to all of a sudden be close to the hip and making jokes about each other's difference's. Who wouldn't want that?

I eventually get lost in the teen drama that I didn't even notice the sun rise or it being nearly an hour an twenty minutes later until my dad knocked on the door and peeked his head inside my room.y head popped up and I lock eyes with him, smiling softly. I pause movie as I focus on his words, unfortunately only catching the end of his sentence.

"- So with that being said, are you excited for your first day of high school?" he asked and all I can do is nod.

"Yea, I am. Who knows, maybe my nerves are just everywhere for nothing?" I try to be optimistic about today, but I'm just uneasy.

He smiles assuringly and giving me a thumbs up before turning out of the room and leaving, closing the door behind him. I quickly hop out of bed, and decide to pull on just some black jeans and a green t-shirt. I lace up my boots as another knock was heard, but this time by the window. Luna hissed from under my bed, making me chuckle.

I stood up and see Jughead by my window with a goofy smile on his face. I roll my eyes and open the window for him, "There's a front door you know."

"I know, but where's the fun in that?" He responds, climbing through my window with ease.

I roll my eyes, grabbing my glasses and sliding them on my face. "But if you use the front door, it doesn't look like I'm trying to sneak you into my room."

"You know a couple years ago you would have said something different." He chuckles at me as I stick my tongue out at him.

"That's then, this is now." I grab my backpack and pet Luna as she jumps on my bed.

Jughead went to do the same but instead he only got hissed at. He immediately retracts his hand and I laugh softly at the scene before me. "Don't take it personal, she doesn't like people."

"She likes you." he points out, heading towards the door. "I swear it's like somehow, someone was able to put your personality into a cat."

"Well I'd like to meet that person one day and thank them." I cut in front of him to head downstairs. I'm immediately hit with the smell of food. I sit my bag down at the leg of the dark wooden table. I grab a plate and grab a bit of everything that was available. I sit down at the table and start eating.

"You know not to expect this everyday, right?" Lila tease as she sits down across from me with her own plate of food. I nod to her as I continue to eat.

"Can I at least expect this every now and then?" Jug ask as he sat down next to me. His tone was teasing, but I knew he was almost completely serious.

"Sure Jug. Just let me know when you decided to move in with us and when you decided you get to choose what's for breakfast." Mar joined the teasing as she sat down next to Lila, who was stifling her laughter while also trying not to choke on her food.

"Okay, would you prefer a day or week's notice before I start to move in?" He asks his cousin after swallowing his food. I let out a small squeal while trying to stifle my laughter, only to cough as I choked on my food.

I heard a burst of laughter around me, only making me laugh more after I stopped coughing. After everything has calmed down, Jughead, Daniel, and I headed off to school. Daniel actually met up with a friend of his half way there, so now it was just me and Jug.

The silence between the two of us was a bit tense, but not knowing from what we didn't act on it. We slowly approached the school, the tension only seemed to be rising. Maybe I was the only one to truly acknowledge it causes when we walked through the doors of the school, he smiles as if nothing was wrong and offered to take me to the office to get my stuff.

I trailed slightly behind him as he lead the way to the office. The tension still there but than again it seems like I'm the only one to truly notice it.

Mabe it's just my nerves? That'd make sense, right?

I got my schedule and Jug offered to show me to my locker. I thought about this tour around Riverdale High, but I decided not to attend seeing if I needed directions, I'm sure Jug wouldn't mind showing me.

We had a few more minutes before class started so me and Juggie just stayed by our lockers – which were right across from each other's. We talked as if whatever I thought was wrong, wasn't wrong. It was if I imagined it all, and maybe I did. However, I felt much better now than I did walking to the school.

And before I knew it, class had started.

☾

I wasn't sure how I ended up where I did. I had lost Jughead a while ago, so now I'm sitting next to Archie with Daniel sitting behind me with his friends. Students were told to go to the gymnasium for something about a school dance that I honestly don't know of I cared about or not.

I look up front to see Cheryl standing at the podium, staring at the crowds of teens.

"Let's have a moment of silence for Jason." The room falls silent. I look up around, seeing if I can find Jughead, only to make eye contact with him as he shifts before looking back at his laptop.

"Thank you for that moment of silence. Many of you were lucky enough to have known my brother personally. Each and everyone of you meant the world to Jason. I loved my brother. He was and always will be my soulmate. So I speak with a confidence only a twin could have. Jason wouldn't want us to spend the year mourning." I make eye contact with Jug once more, after he finishes rolling his eyes.

"Jason would want us to move on with our lives. Which is why I've asked the School Board to not cancel the Back-to- School semiformal." The room erupts in cheers as I look over at Archie as he maked eye contact with a younger teacher.

"But rather, to let us use it as a way to heal, collectively, and celebrate my brother's too, too short life on this moral coral. Thank you all." Cheryl finishes as everyone seemed to clap. I watch as Cheryl walka away, letting everyone clean out the gymnasium before lunch started

☾

I sit under a tree at lunch time, surprisingly, not with Jughead. We got seperated as everyone was piling on top of each other to get out of the gym. I was looking down, drawing, as I heard someone approach me.

I slowly look up and my eyes meet with an unfamiliar brown pair.

"Hi. I'm Veronica Lodge. And who might you be?" She introduces herself, smiling brightly down at me.

"Uh.. Alexandria. Nelson." I reply, timidly. I knew who she was and who her parents were. It's probably weird that I know so many things about these teens parents, and they don't even know the half of it.

"That's a pretty name," Her smile never fell, in fact I'm pretty sure it grew when I hummed a small 'thank you', "You're welcome. Anyways, I saw you over here alone and wanted to invite you to come sit with me and my friends."

I look over at the table she was sitting at and see that Betty and Kevin staring over at us before I look up at her again.

I'm probably about to make a big mistake..

"Sure. Beats sitting here alone."

I gather my stuff and follow her back to the table with Betty and Kevin. I wave slightly as I sit down and take my sketchbook out again, and decide to continue some old family pictures.

There was an awkward silence, that I was blind to Betty and Kevin sat shifting from my presence at the table. Veronica glared at them as she probably thought that I didn't notice. However, I did notice but didn't show it.

Someone cleared their throat and I look up to see it was Veronica. I sit up straight and place my pencil on the table, turning slightly to look at her.

"So. I have a few questions. If you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to answer."

I nod slightly. She seems nice, nothing like her supposed manipulative father that I've heard about.

She smiles slightly and looks at my book, "So.. You're an artist?"

I nod once more, "Yeah, I guess. Right now I'm just drawing an old picture of my mom bwck when she was in high school. It just helps keep my mind of things."

I slid my book towards her and show her the picture I'm recreating. I'm currently on the details, already having the main base line work done.

She nods before grabbing the photo and analyze it, before putting it down and points at my mom, who was in the middle between my dad and Alice.

"Is that your mom?" She asks hesitantly. Noticing her being tence about asking the question, I just smile softly.

"Yeah.. That is."

"She's very beautiful."

"Thank you." I sigh slightly, "Her beauty ran throughout her. She was kind to everyone.. She thought everyone deserved a second chance.. Hell, push your luck, you may even got a third. She protected the ones she loves. Sometimes I don't even know how I could be someone better than her."

I shake my head as I stare at the picture. I feel tears welling up in my eyes as I stare at her. Ehat sucks is that she could be dead somewhere and we wouldn't even know. She's been gone for years, and no one knows what could have happened.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Veronica panicked as she saw the tears fall down my face.

I shrug it off, wiping the tears away, "You didn't do anything. You have no reason to apologize."

I take the picture from her and place it back in my sketchbook.

"Thanks for inviting me, Veronica.. But I think I've over stayed my welcome." I glance over to the two looking at me before I say my goodbyes and got up to go hide somewhere.

I walk into the building and I find yhe music room empty. I look around before walking inside, closing the door behind me. I place my stuff by the door – after I grab my notebook – and go over to the piano, running my fingers over the keys. I sit down on the bench, sitting my notebook out in front of me.

I slowly start to play the piano as everything slowly started to become natural again. I smile softly before closing my eyes as I let my hands run over the keys.

"Finding refuge in my own lies.. ‘How are you?’ ‘I'm doing alright’.. Small talk is a great disguise– just let me be, just let me be.." I sang softly as I played the notes on the piano, "Empty thoughts start cloud my mind.. Am I only living, living to survive? Shake it off, but I lost the drive– just let me be, just let me be.. Let me be o-kay.

"No knows what goes on up inside my head.. There's a new kind of poison and it's starting to spread. No knows what goes on up inside my head, they don't think I need help but I'm scaring myself.. I just want be okay.. I just want to be ok."

I lost myself in the song, I didn't even notice the door open to whomever noticed me singing.

"All the voices in my head are coming to life.. They're getting louder and I'm, I'm terrified..! How do you tunf tom your own mind? Is this what I've become? Take back, what have I.. done?"

I didn't even noticed that I've started crying until a tear fell on my hand. I pull my hands away from the keys to wipe my face, chuckling to myself. I let the room become quiet before clapping was heard from behind me. I instantly pop up, making the bench fall at my sudden movement, as I look into a familiar pair of bluish green eyes, making my releax a bit.

"How long have you been there?" I ask, immediately fixing the bench before grabbing notebook and shoving it back in my bag. Jughead smirked teasingly.

"I didn't know you could sing." He dodge the question, looking at me sling my bag over my shoulder.

"You didn't answer my question, Jones." I pressed as I look at my shoes timidly. Anything seemed more interesting than the teasing male in front of me.

"How have I known you for years, but never realise you could sing?" At this point, he seemed genuinely confused. He was no longer teasing, but seemed more disappointed in himself for reason.

"It's something I did to help calm my nerves for a short while. As well as playing the piano." He nods and wraps a arm around my shoulder, "Let's go get this day ocer with."

☾

"So, Pop's?" Juggy asks as we walk along the bleachers outside. It was after school hours, it was still open due to after school activities. We just decided to stick due to pure boredom.

"Jug, you practically live at Pop's. You can wait another thirty minutes." I tease him as he groans playfully, making me laugh softly.

"Hey, Alex!" I hear someone call. Me and Jug turn to see Ronnie waving her down, in her new Riverdale Vixens cheer outfit, next to Betty, who is also wearing her outfit.

"Ronnie. Hi! What's up?" I call back, using my hand to keep the sun out of my eyes.

"Are you coming to the semiformal?" She asks, curiously.

"I dunno! School dances aren't really my thing!" I reply, squinting my eyes as my hand doesn't do much protections for my eyes.

"What do you mean? From what I heard, you're last school dance was probably a school Christmas party!"

"She's got you there." Jughead mumbles in my ear, making me elbow him in the stomach. "Ow!"

"C'mon! You can even bring mister Jason Dean behind you!" She points over to the beanie clad boy behind me.

"I'll think about it! I'll let you know my answer later!"

She nods before walking away with Betty. I turn to continue walking with Jug.

"Another school dance. Maybe this one can make up for the Valentine's Day one." He jokes.

"Is it wrong I wanna go?" I whisper, hoping he wouldn't hear, but he's right next to me, so of course he does.

"No. It's not." He stops and turns to me, "Let's make a deal. If I go with you to the dance, we have to leave early and go to Pop's."

I nod, "I'm ok with that."

He smiles as I smile back. He wraps his arm around my shoulders as we walk towards the actual school building, going inside to end the school day.

#riverdale season one #riverdale #jughead jones x ofc #jughead jones #original female character #veronica lodge #betty cooper #kevin keller #cheryl blossom #angst #fluff #slow burn #mutual pining #archie andrews

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clansayeed · 4 years

Text

Bound by Destiny ― Chapter 3: The Evidence

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny ⥽

Nadya Al Jamil (MC) has been struggling from the day she moved to Manhattan, but her new job as assistant to the mysterious CEO of Raines Corp was supposed to turn her luck around. Until she finds herself caught in the middle of a war involving the Council of Vampires who secretly run the city. An evil from the birth of Vampire-kind stirs beneath, feeding on the conflict, and finds Nadya bound to a destiny she never asked for.

Bound by Destiny and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

Everyone said nothing good would ever come of falling into an online video rabbit hole. Unfortunately for Nadya they were right.

[READ IT ON AO3]

She doesn’t see hide nor hair of Katherine in the days following the Gallery, and can’t help but suspect that’s kind of the point. Adrian doesn’t mention her name, her presence, or the fact that he essentially ditched Nadya at an event full of strangers to conclude whatever business he and Kamilah had with her.

He does make it up to his secretary just as he said. When he picks her up Monday evening there’s a sample box of gourmet cronuts from a news-featured local bakery with a reservation line as long as the one to get a photo on the bridge where King Anton proposed to Princess Caoimhe. Before she can message Adrian what he wants for dinner on Wednesday there’s an email from security downstairs about a food delivery — which just so happens to be from one of the best Brazilian steakhouses in the city. And just when she doesn’t think he could be any more impressive (or desperate for forgiveness) he sends her off Friday near-dawn with front-row tickets for her and Lily to Saturday’s evening performance of On Summit Blackspine.

“No — nope, no freakin’ way.”

With his hands in his pockets Adrian is like a wall of generosity. He simply won’t take it back. “I insist. You two were looking at tickets anyway, right?”

“Well, yeah,” she splutters, acts like she has no idea how to hold two small pieces of paper, “but we were looking at tickets, like, a year from now, and… way way up in the nosebleeds!”

Adrian completely disregards her protests; even when they start to venture into ‘why were you listening to my lunch break phone call’ territory. He doesn’t seem somber — like he’s genuinely repaying some sort of debt — at all. In fact she’s never seen anyone look so excited about something they won’t be partaking in.

He joins her in the elevator ride down but doesn’t have any of his usual things. He’s staying late but won’t hear a word of her offering to keep him company.

Before the revolving door separates them Nadya plucks up her courage and turns on her heel to look Adrian in the eyes. He startles back, but his composure is never more than a hair’s breadth away.

“You know you don’t have to do anything, right?” It’s as sincere as she can make it; any more emotion between them and she might as well be bawling into his tie.

“What do you mean?”

She groans in protest. “Adrian, you know exactly what I mean. All this stuff —” her gesture is open, vague, but he’s a smart guy, “— and whatever you have in mind about making it up to me. You don’t have to do any of it. Please tell me you understand that. I mean it. I need to hear you, like, verbally say it.”

He laughs in that familiar kind way of his; even puts on a squared jaw and teasingly stern frown when she swats his arm.

“I understand, Nadya, I do. But I can’t help it. I left you on your own most of the night, and didn’t even tell you when I was leaving. Just let me do this, please?”

Eventually his kicked-puppy eyes break her resolve, but only just. “Fine. But this is it, Raines. No more apology gifts.”

“Alright, alright! No more. Though returning the Maserati might be an issue…”

Nadya’s heart falls into the pit of her stomach. “The wha —” But Adrian’s awful at hiding his smile, even worse at hiding the shit-eating grin it grows into, and though he could probably dead-lift her without a second thought she hopes the numerous smacks she wails on his arms do some kind of damage.

He waves her off, calls out “Tell me all about it Monday!” and she’s the one left watching him retreat back into the building.

While riding the subway Nadya’s thoughts wander — and not for the first time either — to whether or not other Manhattan secretaries had such eccentric bosses. Doubtful.

There isn’t time the next night to think about Adrian’s oddities — all thanks to Lily. If she spent the whole evening worrying about work and why her boss was so nice it was a guarantee that her roommate would use any physical force necessary to snap her out of it.

“I can’t believe you had all day to catch up and you spent it rewatching AME!”

While they certainly aren’t dressed up to rival those she’d seen at the Gallery, Nadya and Lily are still the best-dressed things to grace the subway in a long time. Nadya had been ready to call a rideshare until Lily so graciously reminded her how expensive drinks and snacks were likely to be at the show — and they already had subway passes.

“The stage show debuted last year,” Nadya argues defensively, “it’s not like they’re gonna edit the script for every new episode that airs.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I’m pretty sure.”

They compare notes of knowledge and trade fan-theories on the ride; every time Lily riles herself up over the book plots Nadya has to pat her shoulder and remind her to use her subway voice. It may have been way too much for Adrian to spend on someone who managed his datebook but she couldn’t deny how much she missed hanging out with her best friend.

“Check it out,” Lily whispers in her ear, and Nadya turns her attention away from the seating chart above the door to the sight of Lily’s dress shirt unbuttoned and spread Superman-style; revealing her collector’s edition The Crown and the Flame book-cover tee; a memory from their first Christmas together.

It sends them both into fits of giggles — the attendees around them may be averse to laughter and joy but they certainly were not. The doors open soon after and they take their seats — smack dab in the middle of the front row.

The lights dim, the curtains part, and all the reviews Nadya read about how ‘difficult and underwhelming it was to bring something filmed on-location and with tons of CGI to the stage’ can go shove it because the Five Kingdoms are beautiful.

Lily steals her phone Monday afternoon for a quick text. Nadya doesn’t think much of it — they’ve lived together long enough with little boundary — until she’s about to go down and wait for Adrian on the curb but instead he’s blocking her path in the doorway.

“Uh…?” The confusion doesn’t last long — not when Lily practically assaults Adrian with one of her signature bone-crushing, spine-deforming, lung-shrinking hugs. She praises a litany of gracious thanks so fast she’s out of breath before Nadya can pull her off.

To Adrian’s credit he’s not phased in the slightest — back again with that silly grin. “Well that solves my mystery,” presenting his phone screen to them both, “because when I saw how the text was signed I thought you confused me for someone else.”

When she takes the phone and spots the ‘xoxo’ signed at the bottom of Lily’s request for Adrian to meet her at the door, Nadya’s cheeks burn scarlet.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

“I figured.” Though Lily doesn’t seem ashamed in the slightest. “I just wanted to thank him in person. I had the chance, so I took it.”

“I take it that means the show lived up to the hype?” Adrian looks between them eagerly; and even Nadya relents and nods.

“It was amazing.”

“They had a full. sized. dragon puppet. Of course it was amazing!”

They’re running an hour late — Adrian insists it wasn’t any trouble but when Lily’s highlights became ‘recounting the show scene-for-scene’ Nadya had to get them out — but even the CEO’s reassurance falters when the elevator door opens to Nicole standing tersely in front of his office door.

All these months and she still doesn’t understand the dynamic between Nicole and Adrian. He’s her boss, both their boss, yet sometimes it feels like Nicole is the one ordering him around, keeping him on task — a feeling curiously accompanied by her presence in the general vicinity.

Today is no different. Her frown turns into barely-expressed rage as she looks between them. If she held her files any tighter there might be nail-shaped punctures in the paper.

“You’re late.” Nicole gives a terse click of her tongue and strides between them — parts them physically — towards the waiting elevator.

Adrian glances at his watch. “Not by much. It’s not as though Lester is clamoring to see me.”

“A certain degree of professionalism is required when handling… delicate matters such as these.”

While they argue, Nadya starts slowly inching towards her desk. Tries to make as little noise as possible as she lowers her purse down and starts taking out her work. Either it works or she’s suddenly magic because they continue to bicker on as though they’re alone up in his office.

“I don’t know anyone in the world who would call Lester Castellanos delicate, Nicole.”

The elevator door tries to close behind her but her heel wedges in the gap and forces it open. It feels like a metaphor to Nadya.

“You know very well that’s not what I mean.”

Adrian raises an eyebrow. “Then what do you mean?”

There’s no questioning the spiteful look Nicole flashes behind him. Gaze pinned straight on Nadya with a crinkle in her otherwise perfect mask of stone-cold witch.

“Not here. Downstairs.”

She’s a little more than half surprised that Adrian doesn’t pull the cinematic-cliche ‘anything you need to say, you can say in front of Nadya’ line. But it wasn’t a full surprise — there were just some things she wasn’t privy to yet. The fact that she knew as much as she did with less than a year under her belt was astonishing to say the least.

Instead, Adrian casts half a look over his shoulder. His eyes not quite meeting hers.

“Very well.”

Then they’re both standing in the elevator — Nadya watching it close from the other side.

It’s either a trick of the LEDs or Adrian looks apologetic before the door shuts with a soft ding.

Lunch — the midnight version of it — rolls around and Nadya tries not to seem so obvious in how she sneaks glances at the lift. Hoping, willing it to open. It’s almost maddening. Almost; until she replays the pair’s confrontation for the umpteenth time in her head and catches something she missed before.

Her fingers fly across her keyboard; pb&j abandoned in front of her.

Lester. She knows that name; can still hear it in Adrian’s voice clear as day.

“What have you contributed, Lester?”

The browser isn’t even finished loading her results when the unease settles in. What was once a tightly-wound ball of panic that kept her from even looking in Adrian’s direction had dulled, yes, but somehow that just made things worse. There had been a chunk of time in which she really considered Adrian might be involved with killers; or that he may very well be one himself. His charm wasn’t the only thing that disarmed her — because Adrian’s charm didn’t have the same luster it did when she first started working for him.

Nadya remembers the smile he gave her as he reassured Nadya over her interview jitters. It was something easy, practiced. It was easier to fake something around someone you didn’t know — that’s how she’s lied her way through the confidence to report directly to such an important member of the industry. Now — things changed; well hadn’t they? From daily drives to silly quips hiding behind a chocolate fountain. They’d grown close.

Somehow she hopes that means it’s harder for him to lie to her. It’s certainly harder for her to see him as a murderer. Kamilah Sayeed, on the other hand…

Lester Castellanos looks exactly like a man named Lester. Either his mother was psychic or he decided to grow into a name that oozed lecherous intent. Right off the bat a few clicks here and there on her screen outline his meat-packing company (along with several FDA violations and one unionizing strike three years ago) and how his ‘father’ ran it before he took over after Y2K. Only there aren’t any photos of Mister Castellanos with his father… or without him, actually. Plenty of local news rags have snapshots of him with a pretty (paid) girl on each arm; coming out of a Lacroix spring debut, donating to Senator Vega’s reelection campaign, having some small branch of the Metropolitan Museum of Art named after him for his generosity.

Nadya’s so close to giving up — to associating Adrian and Lester as businessmen of the same tycoon-ishness — when a grainy streaming rabbit hole catches her eye. Not that she’d ever admit she was looking so intently but that maroon pantsuit? Hard not to recognize.

Probably doesn’t help that she’s had more than a few dreams about it…

It’s been ages since she’s watched anything that wasn’t taken on some form of camera phone. But the date stamp in the corner and the slight lag between audio and visual definitely mark this as a remnant of the bygone VHS-era. Probably when Lester was inducted in as CEO of his company.

There. She spends what feels like hours pausing, rewinding, dragging the player to a specific spot and having to time her two-fingered assault on the keyboard just so but the victory is sweeter than she could have imagined.

Behind Lester’s flouncy gestures for some speech about bringing ‘old industry’ back to Manhattan — the flicker of maroon. And beside Kamilah’s pixelated waves of dark hair stands a figure two heads taller and with cheekbones definitely made to exist in the time of high-definition photography; distinctive even from a distance.

Adrian’s grainy figure leans down and whispers something in Kamilah’s distorted confidence. Maybe she laughs; maybe she frowns. She doesn’t look away from Lester’s speech.

And in the corner: [03 JULY, 2001]

An uncharacteristic calm falls over her. Maybe she’s done enough freaking out for the day — or over Adrian Raines, for that matter — and she’s numb to new information. She deletes her browser history — doesn’t think it’ll do much good if anyone really wanted to see what she was looking at — and clocks back in. Loses herself in the work. For once in Nadya’s life the mindless, soul-sucking tedium of an office job is a good thing. Doesn’t really need much brain power, makes it so she doesn’t pay attention when the lift door dings and Adrian returns from his meeting with a slump in his shoulders.

That is until he looks over her shoulder.

“You’re already working on the MacCombe spreads?” He sounds surprised.

“I finished all those return calls—here —” she hands him three neon-pink post-its with different names and dates scribbled on them, “— don’t worry about memorizing them; I’ve updated your datebook with the appointments. Though this one, Volenti, is a lunch at some rooftop Italian place, so I’d avoid the morning coffee.”

She expects him to pay it all little mind. After all, this is what he’s paying her for: clerical nonsense, not to be his friend and a pesky detective on the side.

But Adrian’s all about subverting expectations; plucks the note from her fingers and frowns at the time.

“I can’t make it that day. I’m booked up all afternoon.”

Nadya quickly pulls up both his digital datebook and brushes aside an open folder to the desk calendar she has color-coded to the nines. Even Adrian’s eyes widen at the sheer mess of her incoherent organization.

“Uh, no you’re not?” Which isn’t so much questioning her boss as questioning her own appointment-making skills.

“I am. Tell Mrs. Volenti she’ll need to change it to a dinner reservation.”

“Well maybe we can squeeze—”

“Nadya.”

She looks at his face for the first time since he returned. When Adrian realized ‘professional personal space’ wasn’t really her forte — a habit picked up from living in close quarters with Lily, no doubt — he started testing his own waters until it wasn’t uncommon for both of them to just reach over one another without a second thought.

He takes up that personal bubble, now; towers over her in a way that makes Nadya shrink back in her chair slightly.

She’s never heard that sort of tone from him before. Harsh, cold, almost mean. Nadya shivers.

The hard look in Adrian’s eyes softens instantly. His tone stays firm.

“Change it to a dinner reservation. And book me up for office calls that day.” Then, as if their friendship is an afterthought; “Thank you.”

His office door closes behind him absolutely silent — she can just imagine him being as delicate as possible with the creaky old wood.

Nadya takes a few minutes to collect herself in her personal bathroom. She emerges, still counting down from one hundred, and grabs the note with Volenti’s number to reschedule.

“BOOM! HEADSHOT!”

Nadya looks down at her pint of ice cream with a grimace. No matter what the commercials said, they were liars: lactose-free ice cream was a crime against humanity.

“Did you see that? I’m pretty sure I couldn’t replicate that move if I tried.” Lily talks half to herself half to her one-person audience as she studies the controller in her hands. She brings it close and strokes her thumb over the joystick.

“Tell me your secrets… please?”

The controller vibrates — makes Lily scream in response. Then a horde of zombies swarms in on her character on the television screen and she scrambles to return to diligent gamer-mode.

Maybe time passes, or maybe Lily suddenly has the ability to teleport. Both options are equally likely as one minute Nadya successfully tunes out the groaning roar of digital catastrophe and the next Lily’s plucking the barren spoon from dangling awkwardly in her mouth.

“Hello? Ground control to Al Jamil; can you read me, Al Jamil?”

It takes Nadya a moment to blink away a sluggishness she didn’t know she had.

“You say something, Lil’?”

“I mean,” she seriously thinks it over, “nothing more than my usual gaming banter — which is still worthy of an epic quote-book. How was your trip to Planet of the Mush-Brains?”

Crouched in front of Nadya’s armchair, Lily steals a bite of melty ice cream — cringes at the lie that is ‘lactose-free’ maple pecan but forces herself to swallow it.

There’s a quip about the squishy mess that would be planet Mush-Brain on the tip of Nadya’s tongue. Instead she looks down at her half-reflection in her roommate’s smudged glasses and erupts in gooseflesh.

“Can I ask you something weird?”

“Weird on a scale of…?”

“Weird.” Nadya confirms. Lily grins.

“You fuckin’ bet.”

There’s a pause where she breathes in deep, tries to process the words about to come out of her mouth, and she goes for it.

“Do you believe in vampires?”

They’ve lived together long enough now to go through all the theories, discussions, and conversations generally reserved for the butt-crack of dawn or when midnight seems to stretch on forever. They’ve bought matching sleeping bags and sometimes have camping nights in the living room (though Lily is forever banned from buying candles — because sometimes ‘the aesthetic’ just isn’t worth possibly burning down an entire apartment building); laid head-meet-toes for hours and talked about the things that made them who they were; what they dreamed about, their genie wishes, and the things unproven that they still believed in anyway.

Vampires included.

Lily props her chin on Nadya’s knee and blinks slowly. She reminds Nadya of a cat sometimes.

“Sure,” she shrugs, “I guess. Are you talking about that video that went viral about that Norwegian metal band that said they drink each other’s blood before gigs?”

Nadya blanches. Some things should just never be said with a straight face. “No! What?! Who—where do you find these things?”

"The internet.”

“Right — I mean — no. Not Norwegians. Like… actual vampires.”

It’s stupid; ludicrous even. It’s not something she’s even going to go through the process of explaining out loud because some things even Lily might find absolutely bonkers. And she once went on a date with a Flat-Earther.

Maybe her roommate’s actually taking her seriously because she takes a long pause before answering.

“Sure, I guess. Depends on what kind.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, what lore are we talking? And also, is this a sleeping bag situation?”

Nadya wants to say yes. She wants them to push the coffee table aside and lay down together so she can vent every crazy idea she’s processing — and then some. But the room looks lighter than it did a few minutes ago and when she glances at the stove clock her heart sinks. 06:08 glaring at her in bright ugly red. Lily ‘Freakin’ Superhuman’ Spencer is no stranger to pulling all-nighters before work but Nadya has a feeling if she unloads now it might tempt her roomie to call out to stay by her side.

And while the company would be nice there was one thing she liked just a little bit more: being able to make rent.

“Nah,” she’s not convincing anyone, least of all her best friend, when she waves it off and jostles Lily onto her rear end by standing, “I was just thinking weird things.”

But now Lily’s caught the scent. Leans in sans personal-bubble as Nadya puts the melted ice cream away.

“What kinda weird things? When did you start thinking them? Who made you think weird things?”

“It’s nothing, Lil’.”

“Obviously not.”

“And you’re suddenly Sherlock Holmes…?”

“I talked to my controller, Nadi’. And you didn’t stop me.”

“Well as long as you weren’t tonguing the joystick.”

“Ew,” Lily recoils, “you know I don’t do sticks. Stop changing the subject!”

But it was just enough to get Nadya time to slip out from under the gaze of nerd-glasses scrutiny; she’s already closing her bedroom door. Lily never could resist a lesbian quip.

“Good luck at work!” She calls, and leans against her door with a heavy sigh. Nothing’s stopping Lily from knocking until she answers, or more frighteningly; nothing’s stopping her from breaking into a rendition of the song from Frozen.

But Lily respects her space. She’s just crawled into bed when she hears a call of “See ya!” and the front door slamming shut.

She texts Adrian half an hour later calling in sick. She gets sick time, right? Of course he answers when she’s on the cusp of real sleep.

[TEXT]: Are you alright?? -Adrian

[TEXT]: yeah Lil gave me her cold. sorry. can I do it like this or do I have to call hr? [TEXT]: please don’t say I gotta call nicole

[TEXT]: No this is fine. I’m sure I can survive one day. -Adrian [TEXT]: Actually take a long weekend. See you Monday. Feel better.

It’s more than she asked for so why does something uncomfortable settle in her gut? She stares at the text chain, squints until her eyes begin to blur the words, and then it hits her.

No ‘Sincerely, Adrian.’ Whatever he’s doing this early (which, honestly she’s surprised since everyone has to sleep sometime but not him, apparently) has him occupied enough not to be, well, himself. And there’s a part of Nadya that feels like if she sends him a message asking about it he might very well respond. Her fingers hover over the buttons on screen long enough for her hand to prickle with pins and needles.

She turns off the ringer, tucks the device under her pillow, and forces herself to sleep.

They are grown-ups, thank you very much. They have grown-up jobs and grown-up bills and grown-up credit cards and checking accounts and monthly interest fees. And while most of grown-up life sucked a big one, having jobs that only operated during the business week was a small perk in a sea of ‘wait, I didn’t ask for this.’

Lily doesn’t bring up the ‘V’ word all weekend. They aren’t best friends for nothing — Nadya’s way ahead of her and knows when the questions itch on the tip of her tongue. Doesn’t help that Lily’s magically, totally spontaneously decided to bring out her old copy of ‘Blood Suckers 3: Fast-Forward’ to brush up on her apparently rusty vampire-cyborg slaying abilities.

With a grocery-store pizza crisping in the oven and the tinny sounds of the cybernetically-enhanced undead wailing their deaths throughout the entire apartment things feel… normal. They feel like they used to. Before Adrian, before Raines Corp., before her internet browsing history was shamefully filled with the beginnings of research into the possibility that the creepy spookies might be legit.

There’s only one job that has followed the pair of them into grown-up life: knowing how to take care of each other. They were a bit rusty — but still got the stuff.

Lily’s eyes are glued to the screen, thumbs twitching on the joystick and slamming into buttons because hitting them harder made the little in-game avatar attack faster—obviously. Nadya can’t stop watching in amusement as she scoots, inch by inch, towards the edge of the couch in anticipation for this level’s boss battle.

“Die cyborg scum! For a third and final time!”

Any harder and she might actually break the triangle button. But Nadya doesn’t get time to warn her — not with the sudden shrill screech of the smoke detector.

“The pizza!” She’s up in a flash — yanks the pie way from the heat where it falls lamely on the floor and spews blackened bits all over the tile. The alarm chirps on out of spite.

Nadya waves a dish towel at the collecting smoke — god she really loves Lily to death but the fact that she’s the only one picking herself up to do anything is frustrating to say the least.

“Lil’! Open the windows! Please?!”

It’s enough to pull her roommate out of the distant and horrible year of 5048; then a mad dash to unlatch the fire escape window. Winter forces in like that time Lily thought they could rent out their couch space to gap-year European students. She’s chilly but effective in sucking the smoky air outside. Snowflakes flutter in but vanish on contact with the decades-old carpeting.

Above them; the sudden THUD THUD THU-UD of unfortunately all-too-familiar workboots. Then a shrill voice cuts through the aged plaster holding their building together by a thread.

“What’s that awful noise?! Marty, stop stomping you fucking idiot! I’m tryna watch my show here!”

“It’s those dykes downstairs!” Marty’s delightful holler suddenly grows sharp — echoes from his open window to theirs, “CUT THAT SHIT OUT! You ain’t takin’ us to Hell with you!”

Like a holy sign the detector ceases; angry red blinking slowing down into green, false-alarm peace.

Lily glares at the white plastic in contempt. “Rude neighbors I can live with — but a homophobic smoke detector? Nu-uh. Where’s my bat?”

While Nadya tries to dissuade her from beating them into a replacement fine Marty resumes his best lumberjack impression above them. The hazards of living somewhere with rent security.

The bat may have just been a comic-con prop but there’s nothing comical about the slew of rusty nails sticking out of the business end at odd angles. It takes a solid chunk of time to talk her down, talk her into unleashing her aggression back on Lestat-meets-the-Terminator.

After a bit of sleuthing — and with pizza crust char smeared on her cheek — Nadya holds out the culprit with all the conviction Law and Order could teach: a chunk of the plastic wrapping melted into a gloss on top of a pepperoni.

“I’ll have to call the store in the morning.”

Lily snarls at her game with new vigor. “Why?”

“Because — we caught it. What if there’s a bad batch?”

“I mean, maybe. But you don’t know that.”

“Neither do they unless I say something.”

“So…” Hunger stakes both Lily and her boss battle; ‘PAUSED’ flashing on the screen in bright blocky letters while Lily pushes up her glasses, “no pizza?”

The air hurts her face. Why did she willingly choose to live in a place where the air hurts her face?

There’s definitely an open pizza joint a few blocks over — you don’t have enough money to geomap the entire world and lie about late-night pizza — but not only are people like Nadya one of the reasons food delivery services were invented, she’s just not as familiar with her neighborhood as she once was. At the moment she blames Adrian for that.

“Stupid ritzy lunch deliveries,” she mutters, keeps her lips moving and tries not to lick them and ohp—there it goes, now her lips feel like she’s well on her way to frostbite, “stupid fancy dinner hotels, stupid employee-only rooftop restaurant, stupid DiGeronimo’s plastic-riddled pizzas of death.”

She’s glad there’s no one around to listen to her muttered tirade. Some things a woman just has to complain about alone.

“Why am I the one out here anyway?” she asks no one in particular — the snowflakes picking up speed around her, maybe, “I can’t even eat the darn pizza! — Then again I was totally gonna eat the pizza. Hey, universe, if you’re listening, I was gonna eat the pizza. I was gonna be punished enough. So like… let up on the ice age, will ya?”

The universe doesn’t let up on the ice age. If anything it feels like the snow drift is picking up speed. Flakes turn to fat droplets on her glasses that distort the world around her. Cupping her hands over her mouth does no good — can’t exactly see with fog over her lenses.

Huddled under the drooping awning of a closed bodega, her shaking hands fumble around for her phone and the map. “Nooo… how did I end up on the wrong side of the friggin’ park?!”

Lily will wait for her cheesy delight, she decides — kicks the sticky snow from her boots and trudges across the street towards the park entrance, she will wait until I’ve regained feeling in all ten fingers and all ten toes and not a minute before.

It’s all very Every Crime Serial Ever. Literally, Nadya swears she’s seen at least a dozen winter-themed episodes start with a young woman taking a shortcut in a dark park. But there’s more on the line than empty stomachs and another night of instant ramen now. Now; it’s a point of pride. It’s about making it out into the storm and returning, victorious, from the highest peak with tales of wonder and mystery.

So she keeps to the snowed-over pathways even when the cold wet starts to seep into her thick fuzzy socks — keeps under the glow of lamp posts the city abandoned a long time ago where she can find them. Distracts herself with thoughts of delicious melty cheese and sneaking a few mushrooms onto Lily’s side before she gets back to the apartment — and wonders if the delivery driver might take pity on her poor frozen soul and drive her back to her block rather than making her return with a pizza-sicle.

That’s the problem with expecting something bad to happen, though. When you expect it you do everything in your power to not think about it — to not run around freaking out over every fallen leaf and garbage-diving raccoon. There’s definitely a difference between using smart caution and just straight up stamping down every bad feeling rolling around in your gut.

Nadya, unfortunately, is prone to the latter. Years of jeers and teasing and being called irrational will do their damage eventually — and for her they come together as the knowledge that she shouldn’t be doing what she’s doing but not enough wisdom to turn back.

There’s a loud crash. Nadya screams loud enough to warm up her insides. Her keys held tightly between each knuckle in self-defense on one hand and phone ready to emergency dial with the other. Fear creeps in at the edges of her vision; makes the darkness outside the safety of the lamp’s light appear alive, undulating, thriving off her terror.

In the dark void between one lamppost and the next a hollow metal creaking grows closer—closer—closer—and she’ll never tell a living soul (that’s a lie, she’ll probably tell Lily when she stops having nightmares over this mess) but she might have accidentally unclenched her legs a little too quickly as an upended garbage can rolls a path through the fresh snow with the contents painting a trail behind.

I’m a good citizen, dang it, but I wanna keep my fingers. Because what horror movie starts with the victim being ripped to shreds while she’s saving the environment during a polar vortex?

The distant Lily-adjacent voice in the back of her head quips something like “holiday horror movies, duh!” but it’s too quiet — too soft over the sudden primal roar that carries on every gust of winter wind.

She’s cold. She’s afraid. There’s the strangest taste of almonds on the back of her tongue?

Then everything is warm and dark. She briefly considers crawling out of bed to have Lily remind her to pack a lunch in the morning.

Instead she welcomes sleep.

#playchoices #bloodbound #kamilah x mc #kamilah sayeed #adrian raines #lily spencer #mc: nadya al jamil #nicole anderson #; my fics #oblv: bound by destiny #oblv: new chapter

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ettadunham · 5 years

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A Buffy rewatch 6x01 Bargaining Part 1

aka friends who resurrect their other friend together, stay together

Welcome to this dailyish (weekly? bi-weekly?) text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and go on an impromptu rant about it for an hour. Is it about one hyperspecific thing or twenty observations? 10 or 3k words? You don’t know! I don’t know!!! In this house we don’t know things.

And today’s episode starts us off on what’s decidedly the most controversial season of the entire show. I’m so excited!!!

Now that I think about it, I’m not sure I ever watched Bargaining Part 1 on its own. The show has plenty of two-parters during its run (some named, some not), but Bargaining has the distinction of also being aired on the same night. As a result, many of its digital copies you can find will also have Part 1 and Part 2 together as one single episode.

So for me, talking about the first half of this season premiere only, feels even more stranger than usual, but that’s mostly because of that viewing history. This episode really isn’t worse at being the set up for its next chapter than a What’s My Line Part 1 for instance; in fact, it has its work cut out for it as far as set ups go given the time jump. As a result, even if the story is incomplete, there’s a lot to chew over still.

Let’s see some of the things we got here.

First, I want to address a costuming choice that I absolutely adore and that I tried to draw attention to in my chosen screencap as well. Willow and Xander are both wearing numbered shirts with sequential odd numbers on them. Meaning that there’s a missing number between them.

See, this is exactly the kind of on-the-nose visual storytelling that I love in this show. Buffy is layered with meaning and themes, and sometimes that just means adding tiny details for your audience to interpret with the text.

I’m not sure if the numbers themselves have that much meaning - but no one can stop me from assigning meaning to them if I want either, so... 11 and 13 are both prime numbers, and as such can only be divided by themselves and 1. Possibly a foreshadowing to one of the season’s theme: this year the Scoobies are their own worst enemies.

And if 12 is Buffy, then we can take that as a reference to the fact that she’ll be resurrected at midnight. Or, we can also dig even deeper into the number 12, because oh boy. While 11 and 13 are prime numbers, 12 is a superior highly composite one with no less then 6(!) divisors. That means that unlike its neighbors, 12 can be divided and expressed through a number of combinations of its prime factors.

(Also, apparently 12 is also a “sublime number”, which of course it is.)

In other words, you can take 12 apart and put it back together in multiple ways.

Which brings us back to the show from our weird segment of me trying to math interpret costuming decisions. What the gang does here will have lasting consequences on Buffy’s mental health, and she’ll internalize that by believing that she ‘came back wrong’ for quite a while.

So it brings up the question. Why do it?

We don’t really see how and when the gang decided to bring back Buffy of course. Which as far as a storytelling device goes, is the right choice, but I still kind of wish that we knew more. Resurrection was broached as a subject in Forever back in season 5, and Tara then was like “No, no and also, NOPE” while Willow seemed to have been already considering the logistics of it all.

In the present, Xander appears to be the most uncomfortable about the idea, backtracking as the actual reality of what they’re about to do starts to hit him. Anya seems hesitant too, but she doesn’t argue. Tara still maintains that it’s wrong, but she also says that it’s what they agreed on, and so she stands by it now.

Unsurprisingly, it’s Willow that pushes the idea the most, as the resident elected team leader. (Xander apparently made a plaque and everything? It’s kind of adorable.) Alyson Hannigan really adds on to the emotional impact of Willow’s speech, so me copying in that quote won’t have quite the same effect, but I wanted to have it here regardless:

XANDER: We saw her body, Will. We buried it. WILLOW: Her body, yeah. But her soul, her essence... I mean, that could be somewhere else. She could be trapped, in some sort of hell dimension like Angel was. Suffering eternal torment, just because she saved us, and I’m not gonna let... I’m not gonna leave her there. It’s Buffy.

Now, we, who have already seen the show, know of course that that’s not the case. That wherever Buffy ended up, she’s at peace. And one could ask the question, why the Scoobies wouldn’t consider that option and the consequences of their actions if that’d be true?

And the answer is rather simple - because they don’t want to. They miss Buffy and they refuse to move on with their lives without her. They need her, so it’s easier to believe for them that she must need them too.

Back in season 3 I applauded Willow for having self-awareness when it came to her own motivations and biases. But power does strange things to people, and Willow’s been getting worse and worse about justifying and lying to herself about her own intent.

At her core, Willow wants to do good. That’s why she stayed in Sunnydale even though she had the opportunity to go to college anywhere in the world. But she also wants to be special. To be loved. To matter.

Bringing back Buffy is about the Scoobies needing their friend, but for Willow, this is also an exercise of the limit of her powers. Her defying the laws of nature and accomplishing something that’s barely even possible. That’s why she also pushes for secrecy, and why she keeps hidden from the rest of the gang, what she did to get the last ingredient for their spell.

Deep down, she knows that it’s wrong, and she doesn’t want anyone else to challenge her own justifications.

(Also, the CGI snake is really rough on the HD version. Yikes. I really do need to do another rewatch after this with the standard DVD edition.)

On a happier note, season 6 aired on a different network with looser restrictions, and they were allowed to have Willow and Tara kiss every once in a while. The kiss that they share here is actually the SECOND ever we see between them on screen in the twoish seasons they dated so far, so that’s some TV history. It still won’t happen all that frequently, but it’s a step forward.

I also mentioned before that I adore Tara and Dawn’s relationship, and this episode showcases that. Tara made funny-shaped pancakes for her! (Well, she aimed for round ones, but Dawn didn’t mind.)

I love them.

Also, I just noticed that in the above screencap Dawn too has a numbered shirt, and 7 is another prime number? In fact it’s the prime number preceding 11. So I guess the main theme is that they’re all a team, wearing numbered shirts akin to a sport team garb, and yet are all alone? It’s probably not that deep but that never stopped me from overanalyzing.

I do question the flimsy plan of pretending that Buffy’s still alive through BuffyBot, but I guess they were counting on bringing Buffy back from the start. In the meantime, Dawn has two witch moms, a robot sister and a vampire babysitter to look out for her. That’s not so bad.

Plus Tara is wonderful, and was probably able to help Dawn with her grief through her own experience. No wonder that they’re so close now.

Dawn of course still misses her mom and her sister, and I’ve had a lot of feelings seeing her with BuffyBot. When BuffyBot hugged her and you can see all the emotions passing through in Dawn’s eyes... What is Michelle Trachtenberg up to these days?

Plus we’ve got the scene with Dawn cuddling up to the charging BuffyBot when she’s unable to sleep. Gets me every time.

There’s also Xander refusing to announce their engagement with Anya, which... I’ll probably talk about later, and Anya directing her frustrations and anxiety with everything towards Giles, and his inability to make up his mind about leaving.

Now, I used to be frustrated with Giles for leaving, both here and later on; but I think I get it better now. When I think about Giles, I see him as the adult in this group, so it feels like he’s leaving all the kids to fend for themselves. In reality though, the Scoobies are all adults at this point. One can even make the argument that Giles is no more adult than them.

Well, okay, let’s not go that far, they’re like 20-21 at most, but they’re making their own life decisions at this point. Meanwhile Giles is in the middle of a midlife crisis and doesn’t feel like he has a life, independent from these young adults, on his own.

But we’ll get back to this subject later on.

Overall, I like this episode. A lot. There’s plenty of excellent dialogue and interaction between the gang, and we’re setting up things nicely for the season.

I’m ready for Part 2!

#buffy rewatch 2k19 #btvs #btvs talk

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magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics · 6 years

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The Lives We Lost - Request

Requested by @ archiekins-ronnie: cAN I PLEASE HAVE A HARRY POTTER IMAGINE!! happy and angsty pls?? maybe like they have a one night stand before the war and she ends up pregnant but they dont know and when they find out shes pregnant, its too late and the baby ends up dyinf. but in the end theyre happy and fluff pls?

Pairing: Harry Potter x Reader

Word Count: 3.393

Warnings: Not edited, I changed a bit from the original story. I wrote this by memory. Trigger warning: baby loss. I don’t know what it feels like, nor the emotional pain of the loss, so I’ve you’ve been through this, please understand this.

A/N: First of all, I’m not sure if magic actually works the way I wrote but screw it. I had to change the timeline a bit, and also I tried avoiding certain scenes because, if you’re reading this, I’m assuming you already read the books and/or watched the movie so it’s unnecessary. It’s also the first fic I wrote about Harry Potter since I took my break, and I haven’t rewatched the movies nor reread the books in a while so please be patient.

Enjoy!

The war had started out of a sudden. The lives of innocents were being taken, and there was no place left to hide. It was terrifying. The world was covered in a darkness that - they feared - would never fade away.

Mothers hid their children behind the walls, up in their attics and some of them even sent them away. Muggleborns slept with one eye open, fearing that death would come at any time, and even pure-blooded families feared that they would be forced to join the Dark Lord’s side.

During the last nights of peace - fake peace - Harry had tried drowning his sorrow in alcohol, for it was the only thing that could cover up reality, replacing it with wonderous visions of the pink-coloured life he wished for.

There was a waitress, who appeared once Harry was absolutely drunk. She was beautiful as a lily, and had the fearless attitude of a lion. She’d laugh at Harry’s jokes, and always talked from a clever point of view.

It was inevitable for them to, eventually, end up together in one of those rooms the Leaky Cauldron rented for passerby witches and wizards.

Their lips found each other’s when the sun was starting to come out. Harry had drunk all night long, and she had been his company throughout the whole process. She was comprehensive, and had a deep attachment to the boy who lived, because she saw him not as a saviour but as a poor fellow who had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

She was about to leave - her shift was over - when Harry managed to grab her arm. She looked down at the drunken boy, all sweaty and blushed.

“Stay with me,” he whispered, “Stay with me, I don’t want to…”

“To what, Harry?” She inquired, knowing exactly what he meant.

“To die.”

She knew what he meant. It didn’t involve Voldemort, nor a Death Eater, nor anything anyone else could think of; he meant die by his own hand. He was too young to live with that pressure, yet he managed somehow to survive each year… But, during the past nights, with all the events going on, he had considered the easy way out - easy for someone whose loved ones’ lives didn’t depend on them - and she knew it, she knew it because he confessed it night after night, between whispers and tacky jokes. She knew it, because he had told her more than once, not only with words but with actions, glances and silent tears.

“I’m taking you to your room,” She said, helping him up and then guiding him to the upper floor and then to his room.

Harry allowed her to drag him around the place. She made him sit on his bed and take his shoes off, she placed a bucket by the side of the bed, just in case, and closed the curtains to avoid the sun from leaking in.

“You don’t have to do that,” Harry observed. His tongue was clumsy, due to the alcohol he had consumed.

“I know,” She replied, turning to look down at him.

“Are you going to stay?” He asked, giving her the best puppy eyes he, under the effects of alcohol, could do.

“No, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m your waitress, that’s all.”

“I thought we were friends,” Harry chuckled sadly.

“Only at night… You ask, I pour, you drink, I listen… That’s how it works.”

“What about day time?”

“Huh?”

“You said we were friends at night, what about day time?” Harry insisted, trying to get up from bed.

“During day time, we don’t know each other,” She answered, as she pushed Harry back to the bed.

“I think we should get to know each other,” Harry slurred and kissed her softly.

His lips were dry and he tasted of gin and that frisky potion he decided to try that night. There was also a slight taste of salt and something else - the taste of warmth.

“Stay with me, please, just today,” Harry begged over her lips.

And so she stayed.

That night, when she returned to work, Harry was no longer at his usual table at the corner. The clerk told her that two wizards had gone to look for him an hour after she left his room and had taken him to a secret location.

“He was too exposed here, I suppose,” The clerk commented.

“He was,” She nodded and got to work, willing to forget about that black haired boy.

Two months later, the whole Wizarding World was out of control. There were Death Eaters all over the place, killing innocent mudbloods and recruiting young purebloods to their army.

(Y/N) had managed to stay out of the radar by pretending to be a muggle; she had moved to a muggle restaurant to continue working as a waitress, had hidden away every magical artifact inside an enchanted trunk that was supposed to cover all magic traces.

She lived like that for a whole month. Just when she thought she was going to make it past the war, somebody knocked on her flat’s door.

She opened, fearing the person on the other side was an enemy, and was surprised to see three strange looking teenagers. One had titanium blonde hair and quirky eyes, the other one was a red haired with her face covered face, and the third was the only male in the group, with chubby cheeks and dark hair.

“We need your help,” he spoke.

“Who are you?” (Y/N) inquired, although she was certain to have seen them around.

“We’re Potter’s friends,” the blonde one said, “he told us you could help.”

“Help with what?”

After a very short explanation and a lot of begging, the three kids convinced her to go back to the magic world and help them take care of refugees. She knew the Diagon Alley like the palm of her hand, and so she could be plenty helpful for them.

When she returned, she couldn’t help but notice how changed everything was. The only colour out on the Diagon Alley was coming from the Weasley Twins’ store, and yet it looked brim and dying.

She got to work with Aberforth Dumbledore, helping refugees to cross from Hogsmeade to the Alley and back to the muggle world, and vice versa. It was dangerous, but it was required for her fellow witches and wizards to be safe.

One particular night, the boy who lived returned to the Leaky Cauldron, followed by his two best friend, Ron and Hermione. Neither (Y/N) or the clerk knew why exactly they had returned there, knowing it would be the first place where Death Eaters would look for him.

“I need to get back to Hogwarts,” he explained to the clerk. (Y/N) was hiding in the back, eavesdropping on the conversation.

“Well, you’ve come to the right place, but we must be quick before the Death Eaters know you’re here,” the clerk urged, “(Y/N)! Prepare the portrait.”

“(Y/N)?” Harry gasped, “Last time I heard from her, she had escaped the magic world.”

“Well, she’s back, and she’s been very helpful.” The clerk shrugged his shoulders and turned around to go look for (Y/N), who hadn’t replied instantly.

“Is (Y/N) the waitress you told us about?” Ron asked in a whisper.

“I’m afraid so,” Harry answered.

“You think she hates you?” Ron asked again.

“Why would she hate him? He did nothing wrong, and I’m sure she’s absolutely comprehensive about the situation,” Hermione defended.

“Well, I’m just asking, you know how girls get when..:”

“When what?” Hermione interrupted Ron.

“Nevermind,” Ron sighed.

“NEVERMIND! Are you serious? You think us girls get all weepy for you guys because your ego is so inflated that…”

“STOP!” Harry exclaimed, “This is no time for discussing, and if you raise your voice once more we are risking to be heard from the outside.”

“You’re right, sorry,” Hermione apologised.

“I’m sorry,” Ron mumbled and then both of them fell into an absolute silence.

The clerk returned to the trio. “She’ll be out in a second, she’s just not feeling well.”

“I told you,” Ron whispered and Hermione elbowed his ribs. “Ouch!”

“What do you mean? Is there anything we can do?”

“No, it’s fine, she’s just… I don’t know, she’s been feeling sick lately, but I guess it’s just the stress from the war and all that,” the clerk dismissed.

“All right,” Harry nodded.

(Y/N) went out with a loud exhalation and Harry instantly locked his eyes to hers. She smiled just like she did whenever her shift started and had to go to Harry’s table.

“Hey, Potter,” she greeted and moved past the bar and to a portrait of an old witch that was hanging in the further wall.

“Hey, (Y/N)” Harry greeted as well and followed her.

(Y/N) started talking to the old hag, who was asleep. Waking her up was no easy task, and that was the exact reason why that portrait was picked to work as a secret passage - there was no way a stranger could open it.

“Another one!” The witch complained.

“Three, actually,” (Y/N) muttered.

“Why? WHY? I was dreaming of being saved by Sir Cadogan and you woke me up to help three intruders into the town!”

“Shhh!” (Y/N) begged, “Please, it’s very important for us to get your help.”

The witch crossed her arms in front of her and closed her eyes, as an attempt to ignore them. (Y/N) turned back to the trio, apologetically, “She’s been doing this lately, but she’ll agree soon,” she explained.

“I won’t, not this time,” the old hag snapped back, opening only one eye.

“We must hurry,” the clerk rushed and took a chance into convincing the witch.

Suddenly, the main door got blown away by a very powerful spell. Five Death Eaters marched inside, with their masks on and their wands aimed. Without further notice, a small battle started. Rays of light hit the walls and floors, destroying whatever they touched.

The golden trio had taken the front row, defending themselves and (Y/N) and the clerk from the curses casted by the Death Eaters, and throwing counter attacks in an attempt to stop them.

“I’ll fix this, you go help,” the clerk ordered (Y/N). He was a squib, and so he couldn’t do much but try to convince the witch to let them through.

(Y/N) took her wand out, something she hadn’t done in a long time, and started casting basic spells. She was out of practice, and her spells weren’t quite as powerful, and yet she was a big help to the trio, for she was a good distraction.

“AVADA KEDAVRA!” One of the Death Eaters casted towards (Y/N), and hit her right in the belly. Harry, Hermione and Ron instantly turned their focus to the poor girl, and this was taken as an advantage by the Death Eaters, who vanished in a matter of seconds.

(Y/N) fell on her back and began to breathe heavily. She became pale and started sweating, and Harry quickly reached to her, wrapping her in his arms.

“Why isn’t she dying?” Ron inquired. That spell was known to work for an instant kill.

“I don’t know,” Hermione replied.

(Y/N) screeched in agony, and then looked down. A pool of blood was growing between her legs; the spell had done its job, except it had taken someone else’s life.

“No, no, no, no,” (Y/N) cried as she realised what had happened.

“We must take her to a hospital,” Hermione commanded, kneeling by her side.

Harry was speechless, crying with (Y/N), feeling deep inside that the baby could’ve been his.

“Hogwarts has a working nursery, you must take her with you,” the clerk spoke. Hermione noticed the witch from the portrait was gone. “She’s asking for entry, don’t worry. Take (Y/N) with you.”

“Who’s going to protect you? Those Death Eaters noticed the portrait, they will come back for you.” Ron said.

“I will leave as soon as you cross, and the witch won’t return after crossing you, that was her condition for this one favour,” The clerk solved.

The witch came back and opened the portrait. Behind it, there was an empty passageway. Harry carried (Y/N) in his arms, for she had fainted, and ran inside. “Thank you,” he said, “I’ll make sure she’s safe,” and with that he disappeared into the darkness.

“Please, run away,” Hermione begged, “you’ve been of great help, we will never forget it. Thank you.” She followed Harry.

Ron handed the clerk some smoke bombs from the Weasley store, “these will give you extra time,” he said and followed his friends after thanking him. The clerk shut the portrait immediately.

They would find out later that he got killed when trying to escape the Leaky Cauldron. There were Death Eaters behind the main door, who attacked him right after he opened it. His body couldn’t be retrieved.

When (Y/N) woke up, she was at the Great Hall. It had been a long time since she had even been to Hogwarts, and it was extremely different.

The blonde girl that had asked her to help them was by her side. She introduced herself as Luna, and tried to explain to her what had happened during the time after her fainting.

The war had unleashed, and she had to be taken to the Great Hall, to make sure she was taken care of. Madame Pomfrey had put a spell on her to sleep for as long as her body healed, and therefore nothing else could wake her up.

“Where’s Harry?” (Y/N) asked.

“I don’t know, but I’m afraid he’s done something silly,” Luna said, in the most serious voice tone anyone would ever hear in her.

(Y/N) took a look around. There were plenty of corpses and injured kids around her, and the least damaged ones were helping them to heal their wounds and retrieve the bodies. She could hear and see the teachers she had known before crying over their dead students, friends and families mourning deaths while wrapping bandages around bloody limbs. The dark lord had been “kind” enough to give them time to get back up.

(Y/N) didn’t think twice. She got up from the floor, ignoring her still aching womb, and started helping everyone she could. She felt terrible for not being able to help during the war.

“Everyone come out!” A voice cried from the Great Hall’s door, and they all obeyed.

Lord Voldemort was leading his troupe to the Main Entrance. They weren’t wearing masks, and (Y/N) could recognise some faces from afar for being regular clients at the Leaky Cauldron, clients who had been nice to her. Hagrid was carrying something in his arms, and everyone around (Y/N) started mumbling suggestions about what that could be.

It was Harry.

“Harry Potter is dead!” Volvermort exclaimed, and burst into laughter. His Death Eaters followed along, as McGonagall cried out a loud “NO!” that surprised all of her students, for she hadn’t ever done such sound before. (Y/N) burst into tears, along with everyone else.

He was the boy who lived. They all risked their lives to save him, and defeat the dark lord, and it had all been in vain. A good man, friend, lover, was gone and the enemy had succeeded.

For (Y/N), Harry’s death meant she had to overcome not only the death of her child, but also the death of said child’s father.

Voldemort gave a strange speech, which (Y/N) ignored completely, for she was too focused in her sorrow to even listen to anything else. However, she did notice Neville Longbottom walking forward to the army of Death Eaters, who mocked him carelessly.

“I want to say something,” he said, and Voldemort allowed him to continue. “It doesn’t matter that Harry is gone, people die every day. Friends, family… Yeah, we lost Harry tonight, but he’s still with us in here,” he pointed to his heart, “and so is Fred, Remus, Tonks, all of them. They didn’t die in vain, but you will, cause you’re wrong!”

(Y/N) zoned out once more, she swore to have noticed Harry’s chest moving from afar.

“For all of us!” Neville finished and Harry jumped out of Hagrid’s arms. (Y/N) lost her breath, just like everyone else, whose faces turned into smiles.

The war started again, except this time was a bit less violent for tons of Death Eaters vanished in the act, fearing to be on the wrong side.

(Y/N) fought with all her might, teaming up with strangers against the remaining Death Eaters. There was hope in everyone’s eyes, hope that they might win the fight after all. Harry was alive, and just like the prophecy claimed, he would end the Dark Lord’s reign of horror.

Everything afterwards was blurry. Blinded by adrenaline, (Y/N) fought her way back to the Main Entrance, and then Harry faced Voldemort and succeeded. They had won, the Battle was over.

They had to retrieve a couple more bodies, and heal lots of new wounds, but the vibes in the castle had changed from what (Y/N) woke up to. There were, of course, people still mourning but there were also some that celebrated their victory.

Some were tired of fighting and wanted to get back home, some others found nothing else to do but dance without any music at all, and laugh at whatever they could, trying to feel alive and happy again.

(Y/N) sat at one of the tables, she had just finished wrapping a young girl’s arm. She had tried to stop a curse with it, and ended up with a big, opened wound.

Harry’s eyes met hers, and so he walked towards her and sat by her side.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“I woke up to a battle, I used illegal curses against one of my favourite customers because he turned out to be a Death Eater, I’ve wrapped around twenty different wounds and helped a kid find her mother… I’m just overwhelmed.” She said and Harry chuckled, “But of course, nothing compares to dying and then coming back to life and fighting with Lord Voldemort and actually getting to kill him.”

“It was nothing, really,” Harry joked, and (Y/N) giggled.

“It feels weird to laugh about it,” she mumbled, “it feels weird to even say his name without fearing he’ll come back… because he won’t, right?”

“No, I’m afraid not,” Harry said, looking around him.

“What’s on your mind, Potter?”

“I just can’t stop thinking about what happened at the Leaky Cauldron,” he whispered, “I mean, you are here, talking to me after being hit by a killing curse.”

“Maybe I’m a ghost,” she joked sadly.

“It’s surreal,” he said, “the fact that the baby protected you with this mother and baby bond… It’s basically what happened to me when Voldemort killed my parents.”

“Like father like son, then,” She muttered, “except this time the baby saved the mother.”

“So it was mine,” Harry sighed.

“I’m afraid so… You were the only one I was with during this whole thing and… yeah.”

“So what comes next?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” she replied.

“We could find out together,” Harry suggested, she chuckled.

“We barely know each other, and I’m sure this is the first time I have a conversation with you being sober,” She argued.

“All right then,” he extended his hand towards her, “My name in Harry Potter, I just killed Voldemort, and I would really like to have some company right now.”

“You mean as friends?” She inquired.

“At first, yes, and if anything happens afterwards then so be it,” He solved.

(Y/N) smiled tenderly and shook his hand. “Hey, Harry, I’m (Y/N) and I’m no longer a waitress. I would also like to have some company right now.”

Harry smiled back, getting lost in her eyes for a second without separating their hands. The rest of the people around them kept on moving around, but they remained still for a couple seconds, feeling as if the world had vanished the moment they held hands.

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kilmameri · 5 years

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I saw @solange-lol doing this and it seemed fun so I wanted to do it too. Please do it yourselves too and tag me to it if you like, I won’t be tagging anyone. I’ve added my comments in chunks so theyre easier to delete. this is mostly me writing random garbage which isnt needed but i wanted to do

Rules: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations

AIR: i have small hands • i love the night sky • i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by • i drink herbal tea • i wake to see dawn • the smell of dust is comforting • i’m valued for being wise • i prefer books to music • i meditate • i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

What kinda aspiration is having small hands tho? :DD I love the night sky the most when it’s warm an dark, often when im like, on a trip. its not often both dark and warm where i live :D and i Love birds. today waiting for the bus i almost forgot where i was when i watched birds fly in flocks over us. theyre moving back here for spring! :D

also like,, waking early is so over appreciated. and i see the dawn plenty bc the sun rises at like nine o’clock in winter if at all like,,, i get that its more constant to ppl who live closer to the equator and actually means something. i would wake up to see the dawn tho for the stillness of the world tho if it was with someone but only in daydreams bc why get up early when u can stay up late? that last one abt truths like lmao we get it u deep but yea i love trivia

FIRE: i don’t have straight hair • i like to wear ripped jeans • i play an organized sport • i love dogs • i am not afraid of adventure • i love to talk to strangers • i always try new foods • i enjoy road trips • summer is my favorite season • my radio is always playing

i love curly hair. i have really thick and stiff straigh af hair and i sometimes wish it had Even Waves bc id love to look more messy-cute ya know? bc now its all clean partings, no stray hairs. it looks too formal for my taste and id like for it to have some personality. i know i could just curl it with an iron or get it done but yea,,, i dont care That much

like im constantly told im crazy brave and i guess this applies to me? like i Did move at age 16 to my own in a city i have never been in with no one there who knew me and just,,, didnt even care. i tell others what ive been up to and they ooh and aah and im like?? but yea it does feel nice to be considered adventurous

also i love weird foods and am Not picky. in ninth grade home ec my kitchen needed to design a three course meal and dear fucking god was that a mess. we had one vegetarian lactose intolerant peep, one who didnt eat random shit like onions and bell pepper bc they taste bad (???) and so if a recepie had even a slightest bit of that he insisted it be left out or didnt even listen to the full recepie. and one who like,,,, would Not eat any foregin food. he wanted Potatoes and sausages. im like??? this is the final home ec test? this is supposed to showcase our skills,,, and you want boiled potatoes and plain sausage? what a mess lmao

WATER: i wear bracelets on my wrists • i love the bustle of the city • i have more than one set of piercings • i read poetry • i love the sound of a thunderstorm • i want to travel the world • i sleep past midday most days • i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • i see emotions in colors not words

i moved to a city abt uhhh? half a year ago and i love it here :D theres nothing better than walking in the centrum with the pidgeons and street artists and ppl having a good time chatting and shopping

i used to sleep past midday but i try to not so much bc that worsens my mood a lot bc i feel really isolated spending so much of my time alone. but it is my natural way of being so i guess thats how it be sometimes

EARTH: i wear glasses/contacts • i enjoy doing the laundry • i am a vegetarian • i have an excellent sense of time • my humor is very cheerful • i am a valued adviser to my friends • i believe in true love • i love the chill of mountain air • i’m always listening to music • i am highly trusted by the people in my life

bad eyesight ://. i do kinda enjoy doing household chores when i have something to listen to or a call to be in but that hasnt been the case lately. i am not vegetarian but sometimes i do go days without eating meat by accident which i dont mind but like,,, yea. its bc i eat like, bread, noodles, cereal, and then there might be something vegetarian at school that i eat bc it looks like the tastiest food there

idk abt my humor? its kinda spicky, insulting to some. but i dont mean it its like friendly banter. but i put it on with ppl who arent friends of confy with that sometimes and i dont mean to honestly

AETHER: i go without makeup in my daily life • i make my own artwork • i keep on track of my tasks and time • i always know true north • i see beauty in everything • i can always smell flowers • i smile at everyone i pass by • i always fear history repeating itself • i have recovered from a mental disorder • i can love unconditionally

never really liked makeup, too much work for a thing i cant really tell is even there. the flashy types of makeup i dont like so much. also im already cute af

ive been told im organized as hell by my peers and i dont get it. thats just?? how i naturally do things. it like,,, is Impossible for me to put things in their wrong places. if its hard to put where it belongs then i dedicate a “pending” spot for it in a place thats easy. and i hate notebooks and instead use a binder filled with loose leaves that i can edit as much as i like :3

thanks for reading, hmu if u wanna say something abt the things i wrote. ill read it

#long post #me

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working-on-becoming-a-better-me · 3 years

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Day 269– short update because I’m feeling good :D

I talk about participating more and how being more engaging and involved has affected me. I also talk about the impacts music has on my wellbeing :) maybe my experiences can help you too! Plus a pro-tip at the end that’s not really a pro-tip, just a tip :]

Aside from reinstating my good habit of putting on sunblock for school, I’ve also just realized something else beautiful.

I just had my first officer meeting for an honor society and holy cow! I really wanted to speak and show that I deserved my VP position, so I made an effort to speak... and I FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT IT!

I also had an econ presentation today and put effort into a poster and made my speech funny and informative. On my way to rehearsals, a kid from the class stopped me and just started gushing about my speech. He asked me how I did it and just talked about how it was so good and I’m—I’m getting goosebumps just writing about it now. It was so sweet and I loved it!

I also was proud of myself for speaking and sharing all these ideas I wasn’t even aware I had! I filmed myself talking about how proud I was of myself and put it on my private snap story, but as I was rewatching the video, I noticed how pretty I looked. My eyebrows looked lighter today than normal (I don’t wear makeup and never fill in my eyebrows (they’re naturally dark and somewhat thick)) but I had a brilliant smile. Even though I don’t have a jawline and you can see hints of a disappearing double chin, I looked wonderful.

I started caring more about looks when I made the move to where I am now, but I’ve tried to stop caring as much. I noticed I was and it wasn’t making me very happy, but I reread This Is Water by David Foster Wallace and he said “Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly”. It’s chock-full of beautiful lines and I’d love to share my favorites if you asked, but... something to think about...

ALSO! I participated so much in my lang class and chose to go the somewhat riskier route of choosing a personal topic to write about... I shared in a small group and, even with masks on, I could see a kid’s jaw drop open. My teacher was there and told me it was beautiful. He asked the group to nominate a speaker to share to the class and immediately, the guy with the gaping mouth, picked me and told me my idea was so good. The teacher told the class we’d share and then said “[my name], why don’t you start us off?” I... love public speaking (not for informative presentations, because I’m not a complete nerd... but personal speeches and plays? LOVE THEM) and am pretty good at it. I inflected and delivered it beautifully, I think. This was Monday.

Wednesday, I participated a lot in an activity where we stood up, popcorn style, and read aloud quotes from This Is Water. I’m not typically one to dominate in speaking, but when it fell silent, I offered. a lot of quotes.

That’s all to say, I’ve been more active in school—in participation in classes, clubs, extracurriculars (because I’m in two shows and two improv shows).

On top of that, I’ve always known the music affects my mood. Recent years have been more difficult—obviously, though. I’m a teenager. Some months are worse than others, and you all know that December and January were just... not good months for me. It’s been getting better but sometimes... yeah. It’s an uphill climb to get to a better place! Sometimes I stumble but I’ve made an active effort to find more music and recently fell in love with TImothee Chalamet by The Foxies. It’s just such a fun song.

As well as that, a healthier relationship with the media (mcyt) I consume. I’ve also been writing a lot! For one project-based class, then lang, then my side projects! Haven’t posted on my writing tumblr in a long time because 1) school project (which I will hopefully be releasing to the public and might post the link) 2) fanfiction on ao3

Just got a text from a friend who shared her writing with me... I have a reputation with being good at English now, I think. That’s so beautiful to me. As I was writing that the... chorus, maybe (I’m no good with proper musical terms) of Honeymoon by The Shadowboxers kicked in and wow. I’m close to tears. This is a slower sadder song in a playlist I compiled. I have monthly playlists but created one that’ll span across months. I hadn’t listened to it since I created it in January, but now I’m also so appreciative of how good a taste in music I have.

I’m just falling more and more in love with myself.

Obviously, life is not all beautiful. There are rough patches in certain relationships and school is stressful and covid is lowering acceptance rates and my overall gpas not the highest and neither is my current semester gpa...

But hey! I’m trying. I’m trying so hard! And yes, I take frequent writing and video-watching breaks, but I’m doing so much.

And remember Parkinson’s Law: "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion". I only refreshed my memory of it recently. I know it in my heart—I’ve been in so many student films and edited so many papers (even though I don’t have to) and agreed to a lot of shows... but I’m doing just as well. Without these things, I wouldn’t have better grades, because I’d just be using this free time for mcyt. Of course, they say to keep busy... but if you’re okay with small amounts of stress and are similar to me and think this might work for you, MAKE LOTS OF COMMITMENTS. Don’t if you don’t think you can—you don’t want to force yourself to flake on some events! But if you can’t bring yourself to get up and do yoga or go mingle with friends, agree to more club zoom calls, study sessions, hang outs, jam sessions. Things with other people or with deadlines that’ll hold you to a commitment.

For me, a writing blog helped for so long to find motivation! And now I have an ao3 I post on every other week and am doing so much writing! Make an art instagram account! Make a writing blog! Audition for that play, volunteer to be in a student piece! Fill up your schedule and do the most the day has to offer!

Parkinson’s Law. You can do it. I believe in you!

And I like that you can see my growth. I’m not always positive even though I try to be. I’m an internet stranger who has struggled with school and balancing my life and been saddened by her sister’s move and been affected with covid... and I’m an internet stranger who is finding ways to cope.

I baked cookies the other day. Parkinson’s Law! Obviously, I was in a depressive state. But I don’t have depression. I’m not going to sit here and preach that writing will solve everything. I can’t. It’s not my place to say so, because I was sad for a long time but still doing well enough. But I do hope this helps for all those out there struggling as well. It gets better! And then sometimes in that uphill climb you stumble and fall. It gets better and then it gets worse. But while you’re getting better, each time it gets worse, though disheartening, is better than the very start. You’re growing. You’re learning, loving, living, and learning to love living.

I can’t say I love you to a bunch of strangers. But I currently hold lots of warmth in my heart and hope that whoever reads this finds comfort and I hope you are doing as well as you can be! <3 thank you for being with me while I grow!

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jackie-says-stuff · 7 years

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Stranger Things Season 3 Predictions

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 LAST WARNING: HERE THERE BE SPOILERS.

Okay, first of all: remember my s1 theoryrant and predictions for s2? This one? I WAS RIGHT!! Ahem. The show doesn't bash you over the head with the concept, Moffat-style, but it's mentioned often enough that the anger and rage in El is what created the Upside-Down and subsequently the Demogorgon in Season One, and now that they've employed the same tactic of riding the 4th wall again in Season Two, I was also right about the kids' complaints about Mike's campaign in the end of S1 foreshadowing what would be important in S2. I was also right about Will being this season's Big Bad. The rot: did you notice when Hopper bites the apple in s2e1 that it's on the verge of getting old and that's why he spits it out? Nice little setup for season two's plot.

Here's my predictions for the upcoming Season 3:

(1) Papa actually is alive again. Sniveling Employee* didn't make that up. Technically, El did.

Remember the flashback scene that shows what happened as soon as El landed in the Upside-Down at the end of season one? There's nothing in there with her, but when she breaks through the conveniently located hole in the wall back to reality, there's a giant blood smear tracking past it - from the group that died, including Papa, to the exit.

It's a repeated theme that "life, uh... life finds a way", (not an accidental Jurassic Park reference, especially considering the way the Demodogs moved like raptors when the lab was closed), and it's also repeated several times that El's unresolved emotions about Papa will fester and grow until she faces them.

When El brought the Demogorgon back into the Upside-Down, part of it escaped through that hole, possessed Papa, and dragged his body outside. Season Three's main Big Bad is going to be Zombie Papa, foreshadowed by Will being called "Zombie Boy" repeatedly, and Dustin's mention of a zombie army being the only thing able to kill a Mind Flayer in D&D.

(2) Speaking of Dustin, he and Hopper are going to be the spies, zombie army generals, or will start to grow rot next season.

Both of them - and only them - were infected by the puffs of what seemed to be seed pods in the tunnels under the pumpkin farm. (Nice reference to Back to the Future there, if you missed it, of them driving over the top of the sign that got run over by a car in the field, btw.)

I think season three will start with someone - probably Steve - having side effects in his ears that he didn't admit to at the time, making him Hear No Evil. Dustin clearly yelled, "it's in my mouth!", making him Speak No Evil, and Hopper will be See No Evil, the guy who’s typically the one person in the show who always sees a way out or path forward. Steve is too well-defined of a character to disappear, and the writers need some way of bringing back Nancy's love triangle struggle, since viewers like that shit, so that's why I say it will be him.

(3) Kali will return, but this won't be a happy reunion. Kali is the Indian goddess of Death, Time, Doomsday, and Destruction - and El broke Kali's heart when she left the way she did. ("Jane", btw, is referencing "Jane Doe", the name given to women victims who can't be identified.)

Kali's power is mental, but I think that also means that's how she can be affected. When they escaped Chicago, El's bag was left behind - likely with some identifying information as to where she came from. Kali will look for El, run into Zombie Papa, feel betrayed that El said he was dead when he "clearly" isn't, get mentally manipulated, and go on a hit mission to get her revenge on El.

Next season will be:

Mike getting used to Redhead Girl* and the schism that comes from her appearance,

El dealing with unresolved (and now both sentient and corporeal) feelings about Papa and her past,

Kali showing up at the wrong time to complicate things just enough to keep you holding your breath for a few episodes before she joins forces with El to defeat Papa,

Hopper, Dustin and Steve being taken over by the Upside-Down,

and Joyce and Hopper finally hooking up.

Now for the wild card: Redneck Asshole Brother*. The racist subplot here was really unnecessary and out of place. I really, really hope they don't pursue that, but his character arc could go a couple of ways. He hooks up with Mike's mom, and she literally becomes Mrs. Robinson. That part is almost guaranteed. It's less certain what happens from here. Mike's parents get divorced, foreshadowed by Max mentioning that her parents are divorced? Mike’s mom and Redneck Asshole Brother become a bigger racist subplot? (Netflix, just don’t.)

Best case scenario: he ends up not actually being an asshole or racist, and breaks his stereotype, (in the same way Steve broke the popular asshole stereotype in season one), when the world is about to end, Hopper/Dustin/Steve are out of commission, and they need someone to show up and help them at Zero Hour, then becomes one of the group through shared trauma.

I think I've typed enough for the moment. I'll write more after a rewatch, or at least after I've had time to think on this more.

*I can't be bothered to remember or look up their names at the moment, so this is what I'm going to call them for right now.

Edit: A few additional thoughts after thinking it over a bit more today...

(A) Will is probably going to have a continued amnesia problem in season three. We only see him awake and healthy in the cabin at the end. If the pathways the Mind Flayer dug in Will's mind work in any way like the tunnels under Hawkins, (and there's no reason to think they wouldn't, especially considering the brain scans we saw), it seems like this kid really can't catch a break.

(B) Why do they keep calling Will's shadow possession "a virus"? This is a show for nerds. They science all over the place in common conversation. So... why is a parasitic, symbiotic relationship between Will and the Mind Flayer called anything other than that? It can't be accidental.

(C) Remember when I said during my s1 rewatch last week that this all may be emanating from Mike, and his connection with El, rather than from Will's bad luck? This season has done nothing to convince me otherwise. Have you noticed that basically the only person who can snap Will back to reality... is Mike? And the one person he calls for when he's stuck in the Upside-Down... is Mike?

(D) Hopper didn't have a chance to think it through all the way with Scientist Guy*, but the tunnels under Hawkins that spread out like branches, starting from the "brain", seem to match the pattern of what a shadow from the Mind Flayer would take. When Will looks up and sees it in the sky, it has one central brain, and four appendages that touch down on Hawkins - possibly in the same locations that the tunnels spread out to?

(E) It's probably foreshadowing that Dustin and Lucas got interrupted before they could shake hands and make up, especially since the reason Dustin took in Dart was because he thought it was a friend of his, (because he needs more?), and he offered to let Max (hey, I remembered her name!) take his place in The Party.

(F) How the hell is Scientist Guy still around, anyway? Didn't Nancy blow everyone’s cover with a recording of his confession? These military people kill anyone who gets in their way. Why would Scientist Guy Joe Schmoe be any different?

(G) Where the hell is The Cure? We have an emo-ish dude who’s into dark music in the 80s, pining over some chick he’ll never get for two years straight, and we don’t get to hear the music that’s basically made for that shit?

#stranger things #stranger things season 3 #stranger things 2 theories #stranger things theories #stranger theories

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stacks-reviews · 6 years

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New Releases 11/7/17

Happy New Release Day!

In Books --Descending Stories: Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju Volume 4 by Haruko Kumota “After Sukeroku’s expulsion, Kikuhiko’s path to stardom seems clear, but the idea of inheriting the Yakumo name is a cold comfort. Sukeroku, disgraced, makes the heartbreaking decision to put his art aside and take responsibility for his new relationship with Miyokichi. As years pass and distance grows, Kikuhiko decides it’s up to him to bring his friend back to the theater. His determination takes him to the country, where Sukeroku now lives with his spirited young daughter. Kikuhiko is ready to stay as long as he needs to convince Sukeroku, but old wounds may come back to haunt them both.”

I haven’t had a chance to pick up volume 3 yet because we did not get a copy in where I work. And I haven’t had a chance to order it yet either.

--Fantastic Beasts Illustrated Edition When I first head about this illustrated edition I thought it was going to be of the movie Fantastic Beasts so I wasn’t very interested in this one. But it turns out it is for all of the creatures mentioned throughout the HP universe. Now I really want this one. Just not sure when I’ll be able to.

--My Hero Academia Volume 10 by Kohei Horikoshi “The League of Villains has kidnapped Bakugo, and the resulting negative publicity has thrown U.A. into a huge uproar. With the public’s trust in heroes threatened, the faculty convenes to figure out what to do. But Midoriya and the students of Class 1-A have plans of their own - an operation to rescue Bakugo that could get them thrown out of school.”

Picking up right where volume 9 ended. Midoriya and his crew try to take back Bakugo but fail. And a few pro heroes are lost in the conflict. After their recovery in the hospital some of Class 1-A devise a plan to legally (meaning without using their powers) to try and save Bakugo. Which sounds like a bad idea all around.

It’s a really good volume that ends on an evil cliffhanger. I need volume 11 but that won’t be out till 2/6/18.

--Perfect Shadow by Brent Weeks “Gaelan Starfire is a careful, quiet, simple farmer. He’s also an immortal, peerless in the arts of war. Over the centuries, he’s worn many faces to hide his gift, but he is a man ill-fit for obscurity.

When Gaelan must take a job hunting down the world’s finest assassins for the beautiful courtesan and crime lord Gwinvere Kirena what he finds may destroy everything he’s ever believed in.”

I HAVE BEEN WAITING YEARS FOR THIS MOMENT. I love Brent Week’s Night Angel Trilogy so when I heard there was a prequel novella I was pretty excited. Until I noticed it was ebook only; after a brief limited printing run that I found out much later on. But after waiting and waiting, it is back in print. Right when I was about to break down and buy it digitally. I am ecstatic to finally have it to go with the others. Now I just wish I had the trilogy in hardcover. I just have them in the mass market paperback box set.

It includes the novella Perfect Shadow and a Night Angel short called I, Night Angel.

--Renegades by Marissa Meyer “The Renegades are a syndicate of prodigies - humans with extraordinary abilities - who emerged from the ruins of a crumbled society and established peace and order where chaos reigned. As champions of justice, they remain a symbol of hope and courage to everyone...except the villains they once overthrew.Nova has a reason to hate the Renegades, and she is on a mission for vengeance. As she gets closer to her target, she meets Adrian, a Renegade boy who believes in justice - and in Nova. But Nova's allegiance is to a villain who has the power to end them both.“

From the author of the Lunar Chronicles series comes a new series. I really like the Lunar Chronicles. I recommend it a lot at work. Though I still need to finish it. Cress (book 3) has been sitting on my shelf for a little while but I’ve been trying to focus on the arcs I have. And have been failing. Anyway, I really like her other series and am excited to try out a new series by her.

--Twinkle Star Volume 4 by Natsuki Takaya “The second semester of school is starting, and Chihiro's kinder attitude toward Sakuya is making her heart race! When he recommends her a book to read, she's positively overjoyed. But on the way home from a night of stargazing with the Star Appreciation Club, Chihiro suddenly approaches her! What does he want to talk about...?”

After this just one more volume of this series should remain. I still haven’t had time to go past volume 1 of this series. I’ve had to put a lot of series on hold while I tried to cut back during the second half of this year. I will pick it back up again someday. Hopefully by next year.

In Movies/TV Shows --Cheer Boys “Catch an exciting new take on the high-flying team sport, inspired by a real all-male squad in Japan. When Haruki Bando and his friend Kazuma leave judo martial arts, no one would have guessed they would turn to cheerleading! Rocking the college campus with a killer routine, these amateurs manage to draw in a crowd and enough new members to compete in regionals.”

I started streaming this on Funimation during its season. I watched about half before I got into another gaming kick and haven’t picked it up again yet. I did like what I saw of it but it probably isn’t my favorite sports series. But I think it is still worth checking out.

--Project Ito: Genocidal Organ “In Genocidal Organ, while developed countries rely on advanced surveillance to free them from the threat of terrorism, other nations are plagued by genocide within their own borders. Strangely, these massacres all link back to one American by the name of John Paul. Special agent Clavis Shepherd is sent to capture the target, but nothing can prepare this soldier—or the world—for the truth behind humanity’s darkness.”

The third and final Project Ito film. At least for now. I have been waiting on this one ever since the films were announced. I did watch Empire of Corpses and enjoyed it. Though I need to rewatch it soon because when I first watched it I was exhausted from work and kept having to rewind cause I kept nodding off for a few minutes at a time. I finally picked up Harmony a few months back but haven’t had time to start it yet.

--Revolutionary Girl Utena Set 2 “Utena and Anthy have become close during their time as roommates. So when Anthy casually mentions she has a brother, Utena can’t help but feel shocked. She thought she knew Anthy, but the longer she and Anthy are friends, the more she discovers she doesn’t know. What other secrets could Anthy be keeping? However, Utena won’t have time to dwell upon such matters. A new group of duelists has emerged from the shadows. These new challengers wear black rose signets and also seek revolution, but their methods are different than those of Ohtori’s Student Council. They don’t wish to possess Rose Bride. They are want kill her.”

Set 2 of the 20th Anniversary is now out. Contains episodes 13-24 of this great series. I have only seen it once all the way through. It is one of those series that you’ll have to watch over and over to get all the references and to catch all the imagery it contains.

--Westworld S1 “Set at the intersection of the near future and the reimagined past, explore a world in which every human appetite, no matter how noble or depraved, can be indulged without consequence.”

Season 1 of this series is out today. I don’t have the channel that it is on so I haven’t had a chance to check it out yet. I’ve heard nothing but great things about so I can’t wait to try it out sometime. Though I would like to watch the movie it is based on before I try out the show. I have heard the soundtrack before because we used to have it as an in-store-play where I work. It is an awesome soundtrack. It was a staff favorite and we played it a lot.

--Your Name “Mitsuha and Taki are complete strangers living separate lives until they suddenly switch places. Mitsuha wakes up in Taki’s body, and he in hers. This occurrence happens randomly, and they must adjust their lives around each other. Yet, somehow, it works. They build a connection by leaving notes for one another until they wish to finally meet. But something stronger than distance may keep them apart.”

Was very disappointed when this came out in theaters because it never came anywhere close to where I live. I don’t think it played anywhere in my state for that matter. I did pick up a copy because I want to know if it really is worth the hype. I haven’t watched it yet because I decided to wait till my friend and I could get together to watch it together.

There is a standard version (DVD and a combo pack) as well as an LE. The LE, “contains two-piece double-sided collectible chipboard box with rainbow holographic finish.” Like what they did for Death Parade’s LE. Which both are nice but makes me nervous that it would fall out if I picked it up wrong. It also comes with a 60 page art booklet, an art digipack, and a two disc OST. The second OST is shorter. It has five songs; if I remember correctly, that are sung in English by RADWIMPS.

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arimamary-main · 6 years

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Tagged by @shawn-and-aiden-frost-9 :D

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourselves, then tag 20 people.

@emypony @atsuyafubukii @eterna09 @funips @producktions ah to hell with this this is was pain and I don’t want to make other fifteen people to suffer

Last

1. Drink - Water 2. Phone Call - A rl friend. Awkward af. 3. Text Message - I think it was “of course I’m going“ 4. Song you listened to - Circles by GUMI 5. Time you cried - This... Tuesday I think. I was a weird day.

Ever

6. Dated someone twice? - Nope! 7. Kissed someone and regretted it - I doubt it. 8. Been cheated on - Nope. But I might murder him/her. 9. Lost someone special - Yeah, it was painful, or at least it felt like I lost them back them. But I just got them back. 10. Been depressed - I just got out of that dark pit that swallow every bit of my self-worth, love, and aspirations. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - I can’t drink until that point XD.

Fave colors

12. Blue 13. Red 14. Orange/yellow/violet

In the last year, have you…

15. Made new friends - I have new people in the social media sites I have been for a while, so yes! 16. Fallen out of love - In, out, I don’t even know anymore. 17. Laughed until you cried - It’s been a while since that has happened :(. I love laughing tho. 18. Found out someone was talking about you - I feel like no one ever speaks about me XD. I don’t really care if it’s gossip or bad-mouthing. 19. Met someone who changed you - Do OCs count? Yeah, they do. 20. Found out who your friends are - Not really. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - I wish XD.

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl - Pretty much everyone. Not that I’m close to all of them. 23. Do you have any pets - I want a cat! Make them two! 24. Do you want to change your name - It’s average af but nope. 25. What did you do for your last birthday - Don’t remind me.... 26. What time did you wake up today - Seven a.m I need sleep Zzzzzz 27. What were you doing at midnight last night - In my tablet talking to a friend. It was fun :3 28. What is something you can’t wait for - Of course it’s Inazuma Eleven. Also Heaven’s Feel and getting my first paycheck lol 29. [There is no number 29 in the list I got tagged in, so…] (I’m too lazy to delete this ha) 30. What are you listening to right now - Human voices. 31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - I really wonder if someone will ever answer this with “yeah, he was a jerk“ or “he was really nice“. 32. Something that’s getting on your nerves - Stereotypes and abuse :D 33. Most visited website - Tumblr and Kissanime. What is life? 34. Hair color - Black. 35. Long or short hair - Long-ish? It’s shoulder-length. 36. Do you have a crush on someone - Not anymore, I think. 37. What do you like about yourself - The fact that I make jokes 24/7 and no can stop mehh!!! 38. Want any piercings - Nope! 39. Blood type - O- 40. Nicknames - I like to be called Mary and online younger people call me Mary-san which is really cute. 41. Relationship status - Single. You shall not take my freedom! 42. Zodiac - Gemini~ 43. Pronouns - She/her 44. Fave TV show - Future Inazuma Eleven Ares :D. Otherwise My Cat From Hell and animal documentaries. 45. Tattoos - Nope. I’m not into that tho I respect tattoo artists. They are cool 46. Right or left handed - Right 47. Ever had surgery - Yeah, when I was younger. It wasn’t pretty... 48. Piercings - Are earlobe piercings still piercings. 49. Sport - I’m not dedicated to sports but I like gold and perhaps badminton. 50. Vacation - What is that? XD. Going to new places is like a vacation to me.

More general

52. Eating - 53. Drinking - 54. I’m about to watch - How I hurriedly edit my Valentine’s Day fic lol 55. Waiting for - My class to start XD. 56. Want - A cute plushie by Tokyo Otaku Mode, a commission from Zafiro, two cats, work hard and have fun! 57. Get married - I can barely take care of myself XD. 58. Career - Environmental Scientist or Graphic Designer :D

Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses - Hugs are good~ 60. Lips or eyes - 61. Shorter or taller - Tall people are intimidating so shorter XD 62. Older or younger - I don’t have a preference. I should be starting to act like an adult but I still act like a child haha. 63. Nice arms or stomach - Face is everything to me 64. Hookup or relationship - A nice long relationship <3 65. Troublemaker or hesitant - Damn it, hesitant is cute. I’m the troublemaker or so I tell myself XD.

Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger - Kissing is a greeting where I was raised so I guess it’s a yes. 67. Drank hard liquor - I think vodka, tequila and rum. Rum is yummy X3. 68. Lost glasses - Not lost lost but from time to time I can’t find them for a day XD 69. Turned someone down - I remember doing so but it seemed like a joke so I’m not really counting it. 70. Sex on first date - No... 71. Broken someone’s heart - Perhaps not romantically but I can’t deny someone might have felt betrayed with something I have said or done. 72. Had your heart broken - My romantic life in a nutshell. 73. Been arrested - I pray that never happens. 74. Cried when someone died - I help back the tears 75. Fallen for a friend - My romantic life in a nutshell.

Do you believe in

76. Yourself - Of course! 77. Miracles - Yup! 78. Love at first sight - It’s attraction at first sight. 79. Santa Claus - Used to. Once, I spend the night in a plastic house with my cousin when we were little to catch him in the act XD. 80. Kiss on a first date - Never been on a date! It would be embarrassing af. 81. Angels - I do. Angels are cool

Other

82. Best friend’s name - I won’t disclose that info 83. Eye color - Very dark brown that looks back 84. Fave movie - I don’t actively rewatch movies but FullMetal Alchemist Conqueror of Shamballa had a special place in my otaku heart 85. Fave actor - Favorite voice actor in my case XD. Miyano Mamoru, Shimono Hiro, Kaji Yuuki, I forgot Erwin/Sebastian’s VA but that one, and others I don’t have on top of my head. But they are a lot.

This was hella long and I don’t want to do it again XD.

#tag game #about me

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some-flyleaves · 7 years

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tonight on spontaneous media thoughts with a-flyleaf, some rambles on Paranoia Agent because yours truly just went and binged another old anime maybe two people and a paperclip have ever heard of!

so a few weeks ago I somehow got into the mini habit of watching videos on the side while drawing, splitting my desktop between art on one half and youtube on the other. somehow the videos of choice ended up being anime reviews, because I... I don’t know, really. :V I’ve watched like 5 anime now, this one included, and wasn’t particularly planning on adding any more to that little lineup. (keep meaning to check out cowboy beepboop but EH.) the lack of investment helps with the “wait did I just miss something” multitasking mood I guess...?

anyway it was a short-lived habit if only because I ran out of stuff that needed drawing aka Image Comic Process but I digress. Paranoia Agent first came to my attention indirectly through... something completely different! \o/

in entirely unrelated circumstances, stumbled upon this article a few days ago and the “realistic portrayal” example caught my attention. a brief comment dig later and the name was identified, and it... features a weird cartoon dog? the wikipedia premise intrigued me but it ended up on my hypothetical neverending list of stuff to check out.

I mention the review thing because, while procrastinating on everything earlier today, I found this video and it immediately caught my attention. and hey, looks like the whole dub is up on youtube, only 13 episodes so might as well!

...not that I’d. necessarily recommend the youtube dub upload. it lacks subtitles for the writing which is actually pretty damn essential.

go watch that review if you haven’t already, because it sums up the show better than I ever could and talks about what hooked me: a basis in psychology and experimental art.

AND NOW FOR MY ACTUAL THOUGHTS ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (to be formatted in bullet points later probably, again tfw mobile) edit 11/21: done, plus some additional thoughts after reading a few reviews/analyses around the web

it practically starts with a bang via baseball bat, and imo the first four episodes are the strongest of the series. in addition to the clever toying with art style as the video describes, we’re introduced to an ensemble cast of not necessarily likable but no less complex characters, and I always appreciate it when media doesn’t seem to be hitting you over the head (harhar) with LIKE THIS PERSON DAMMIT.

while I don’t have dissociative identity disorder and thus can’t speak to accuracy in its portrayal or weirdness in the subplot’s resolution, episode four three* also had one of the first examples I’ve seen of a character with “multiple personalities” that didn’t lean on the tired but one of them... is a MURDERER schtick.

*I initially got the numbering messed up here; the episode with the character who has DID is third, not fourth.

the entire series explores the idea of fiction and reality - no, this is neither the time nor place for the Shipping Debacle(TM), moreso in how fiction is a form of escapism both destructive yet necessary in just about everyone’s lives. the experimental elements play with this well, forcing the viewer to think about why the art is changing the way it does.

until around the end of episode 4*, it’s relatively clear when we’re getting a glimpse into a character’s psyche vs seeing what’s actually going on. and then the next installment hits, and it honestly wouldn’t surprise me if a lot of people bail at this point. it’s not bad necessarily, but the line between fantasy and reality isn’t just blurred - save for a few quick cuts, said line is utterly trampled. symbolism runs rampant and it can be tricky to figure out exactly what’s Actually going on, if anything at all - more on this later.

*e: this time I actually do mean the fourth episode.

on the topic of symbolism, there’s definitely something symbolic going on with the crows/ravens (death?) and to some extent color (namely gold/yellow, green, and red) but I haven’t quite put my finger on it.

you know that thing the video says about Lil Slugger being a manifestation of mass hysteria and destructive escapism? (if you don’t, what are you waiting for >:V it’s about 10 minutes long if you skip the spoilery part.) turns out, he really truly is, and it’s not just metaphors.

spoilers ahead; I’d recommend going in blind but use your best judgment, I know I might not have been so intrigued if not for reading the entire wikipedia plot synopsis in advance. why do I keep getting into media by knowing the Big Reveals first.

on one hand, I really like Lil Slugger being both symbolic and a literal supernatural threat. what I’m much less sold on, however, is how the less explained aspects are incorporated, namely towards the end. (big spoiler warning again, last chance!)

so what exactly DID happen to Harumi with the weird clownish smile makeup? what’s all this prophetic babbling from an old dude who really likes chalk (and whose ramblings admittedly might’ve made more sense if I could actually read his stuff), and how does he know it? what’s the deal with the otaku dude and his magical talking figurines? who knows! who cares, I guess. it’s all in the name of thematic significance - or to put it ironically, ~it’s media~

I can respect that as an artistic direction but it can feel a bit stranger than necessary, and I wasn’t a huge fan of the ending. so, what, suddenly chief’s 2d dream world is an actual real place he goes to? the “darkness closing in” is an actual black blob? holy shit, I really must emphasize the otaku dude’s weird voodoo sculptures and bascially everything else about him. th... the ex-“good cop” is now a wannabe superhero?? you do have to read between the lines to an extent to really Get the characters at times, which I actually like, but imo this was pushing it.

actually even before the climactic sequence I was... less than thrilled with the wife’s monologue. for the most part the show is good about not talking down to the viewer, obligatory exposition sprinkles aside, but just in case you weren’t sure what the themes were yet, here they are ft. odd visual echoing that doesn’t seem particularly relevant to the speaker’s state of mind!

there’s a bit more thematic narm towards the finale, especially from local sidekick-turned-video game hero, but at that point I was too busy wondering what the hell was going on to be too bothered.

e: several analyses and a rewatch later, the end of Harumi’s episode seems less nonsensical. it still doesn’t quite explain when she found the time to throw on all that makeup, but as with many other aspects of the series I was left baffled by at first (up to and including weird old math man), it makes much more sense thematically. Paranoia Agent is not a show meant to be taken at face value and trying to understand it all literally is an exercise in futility - not for everyone, but if you are willing to reconsider how you’re parsing it, it’s worthwhile. ...I’m still confused by otaku dude’s figurines, though >:V

/endspoilers (for now)

DESPITE the spoiler-loaded nitpicking above, overall I found it a solid watch - and the irony of bingeing it to procrastinate on school isn’t lost on me, especially after an all-too-relatable vignette featuring a student in the throes of quadratic equations.

while it definitely includes some darker themes, up to and including an episode about three internet friends meeting up to carry out a sort of suicide pact (which again probably would’ve been clearer if the version I watched had subtitles for text), the tone never feels particularly hopeless. it deals with the self-detrimental effects of overindulging in escapism, sure, but isn’t exactly MEDIA IS BAD TECHNOLOGY IS SCARY THE NEW GENERATION SUCKS. (one character has a similar attitude but it’s based more in nostalgia than hatred of the modern.)

reality sucks but you gotta face it and own up to your fuckups, pal, sorry! but rest and respite are important, too, lest you end up like the animation monkey whose very animation becomes rougher as the sleep deprivation really kicks in.

yes, monkey. not literally but definitely in design (no sameface \o/) and arguably behavior. there were a few comedic moments throughout the show, albeit often dark and/or satirically based so YMMV on how much they actually lighten the mood. for what it’s worth, the episode with the aforementioned suicide pact was probably the overall funniest.

overall I would recommend it as a good thought-provoking series, although if you’re having trouble at the fifth episode I won’t blame you for not sticking it to the end. personally, I kept watching because A) I wanted to see just how the murderous baseball kid mystery turned out & B) the art and symbolism shenanigans up to that point, definitely including the intro, had already given me a few Ideas(TM) and I wanted to see what else was in store. worth it? sure, but don’t expect too many explanations on the supernatural parts.

okay one more spoilery detour - and it’s a VERY BIG spoiler that I am actually going to encourage you not to read if you plan on watching. seriously. (e: format isn’t a mistake, I think it works better connected in paragraphs.)

sooo after skimming the plot synopsis and watching that entire review video, I already knew the thing about Maromi being based on a dead dog and Lil Slugger being the mystery assailant. what I did not expect was even that being a lie, in a way that I won’t specify because I’ve said too much already. and while I question the use of what I’m guessing was pms of all things, I actually really liked that twist.

HOWEVER. given that it all comes back to Tsukiko, she was fucking robbed in the character arc department. I get that she’s quiet and secretive so we don’t get any real details on her past until last second, which imo was a really forced reveal (seriously what is WITH those anime girls and their magic prophetic video game), and again I do like how she pretty much has a victim complex and that basically causes everything.

what I don’t like is that we needed cop superhero dude to lay it all out for her in terms of Big Realization Moments. everything only really gets “resolved” because she finally comes to terms with & takes responsibility for her mistake, but what leads her to this action? guys yell at her for fucking up and everyone gets consumed by inexplicable black ooze? EHHHHHHH I don’t buy it.

the chief’s mini-arc with his wife, which unfortunately was more told than shown (sensibly, so we could get Slugger’s reactions to the story, but it doesn’t mean I’m happy with it), was predictable but IMO believable. I definitely don’t think every story has to have clearly-defined protagonist/antagonist characters, especially with the “antagonist” here being a man vs society type of setup, but the end sequence seemed confused on who the real “hero” was supposed to be.

Ikari got the Big Moments of realizing he couldn’t live a lie forever, of smashing his dream world. Tsukiko... gets to go back in time and hug her dog, I guess? where was her moment, however subtle, of realizing she actually doesn’t NEED this little pink dog to save and protect her from reality. if that was supposed to be conveyed when her younger self started making stuff up it... lost me, unfortunately. as far as I registered it went straight for the dog and apology.

e: and you know, after all the aforementioned reading, I’m still inclined to agree with my initial thoughts - HOWEVER. this is a show that lives, breathes, thrives on thematic significance. character development and miniature arcs happen, absolutely, but they’re not the focal point. I can appreciate the ending’s direction much more if I kick conventional thoughts on character progression to the curb.

oh, and the intro? with everyone laughing with chaotic and/or destructive backgrounds while the random mysterious old people get a fancy restaurant and the goddamn moon? guessing the latter is because ~universal themes~ or something but the formal setting after a series of Heck is a moment of fridge logic - the woman’s homeless. she’s probably no stranger to more ravaged settings.

e: oh yeah, and something else I noticed about the intro - everyone is laughing, yes, but Tsukiko’s doesn’t seem... real. everyone else (minus Lil Slugger I guess but his eyes aren’t shown) has the characteristic squint of a genuine smile, but she’s wide-eyed as ever. maybe foreshadowing how she’s the one behind all this...? hrmm.

alrighty no more spoilers For Real This Time, just some miscellaneous notes that didn’t really fit elsewhere

one side character has the same voice as my favorite character from Urasawa’s Monster so that was neat. turns out detective #2 also shares actors with Monster’s protagonist, which took me longer to catch onto but was VERY amusing once noticed.

there’s no overt fanservice, minus like one or two questionable angles that aren’t even in the spotlight. a couple episodes have some Unfortunate Closeups but they’re entirely in service of the story; you’re definitely not supposed to be comfortable with it.

WHERE ARE THE OFF CROSSOVERS.

e: actually, for various spoilery reasons, I would not be the least bit surprised if this influenced OFF to some extent. but that’s another ramble for another time.

#THIS GOT REALLY LONG but I gotta dump Media Thoughts sooner or later #’’what about psmd’’ I told myself earlier I was gonna save that for break since I think I’m nearing the endgame #and also mainly Procrastination Motivation. theoretically. look how that turned out I love irony V:#.rtf #suicide mention -#Paranoia Agent #dream island obsessional tag

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