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yandere-3-sagau · 1 year

Note

Can I request SAGAU with reader coming into Teyvat but being very hush hush about it and they get a job at Wangshu inn or something but one day they end up cutting themselves and boom golden blood? Sorry if this is too specific

Don’t apologize, I love this idea!

I have so many ideas for this one ranging from crack to angst hskakdk

Let’s say that all the documents about the creator have vague descriptions so they aren’t too sure about your appearance. The only key signs of being the creator are golden blood and crystal like tears.

I hope you like it! I think this may be my first request ^.^

—

Yandere!SAGAU x Secret!Creator!Reader Part 1

Your arrival to Teyvat is sudden. One second you had fallen asleep at your desk after a long night. The next second you lift your head and you’re in a completely new environment.

Surrounded by greens and vegetables you note you’re on some sort of farm. You warily get off the ground, dusting off the dirt from your clothes. You look around hoping to figure out where and how you had ended up in this unfamiliar place.

However, what catches your eyes in the dimly lit farm, is a little glowing blue figure floating wispily.

A seelie?

Your heart drops and your eyes squint through the dark taking in more of your surroundings. Your eyes finally land on a large statue in the distance.

Your thoughts are confirmed as you drop to your knees, eyes locked on a Geo Statue of the Seven.

You’ve read the stories, you know what happens.

“Hello? Who is out there?” a shaky voice calls out. You want to get up and run but the shock kept you in place.

An old man makes his way over, holding a lantern over you. The light illuminates your worry-stricken face. Thoughts run wild in your head as the old man helps you into his home.

Not wanting to risk being chased by all these powerful characters thinking you’re an imposter, while also afraid of being confined by obsessive acolytes, you think it’s best that your arrival to Teyvat is kept a secret.

The farmer that found you, a widowed man with no offspring, decides to take you in. To avoid feeling like a burden, you help out the old man in anyway you can, starting with farming. As if the land is trying to show their love for you, the vegetables you plant grow absurdly quick. They grow larger than the farmer had ever seen before. Vegetables farmed by your hand come out with the perfect texture and consistency. To the farmer, you’re like an angel descended from the skies.

It isn’t long before the old farmer’s business booms with the best vegetables in the market. However, he’s become too old and it’s become too difficult for him to transport all of these vegetables from his isolated little home to the shops down in Liyue Harbor.

You volunteer to do it for him. It’s the least you could do in return for him letting you stay rent free. Despite your willingness, you still can’t fight the anxiousness that comes with traveling in Teyvat.

The first time you enter Liyue Harbor, your hands are so sweaty you nearly drop the boxes of vegetables you are holding. Staying the whole day to sell vegetables in Liyue Harbor means that you are exposed. But when you finally came across your favorite characters, you realize you worried for nothing.

You first meet the Traveler and Paimon. The exchange is simple. They buy a few of your vegetables then leave to Wanmin restaurant to use the stove to cook some meals.

Then you meet Xiao. One day, a group of Hilichurl’s almost attack you while you are transporting goods to Liyue Harbor. He quickly wipes them out while you hide behind the cart you are pushing. Xiao simply looks at you for no more than 5 seconds before disappearing.

After that, the worry of your face being recognized begins to fade. If it weren’t for your oddly golden blood, you would have forgotten that you’re the creator.

You become accustomed to living life in Teyvat. It is peaceful. No exams or deadlines. Such simple tasks done day by day. You spend one day farming and the next transporting vegetables. You sit at your little shop selling items before heading home and helping out the old man. It’s not super easy but it’s a lot less stressful than your life before.

Everyday you get to bask in the sunlight and enjoy fresh air while you admire the scenery you had only ever seen through a screen. You are content and happy.

Until one day you accidentally make the smallest mistake.

Xiangling is a regular of yours. Your vegetables are by far the best she’s ever had and you quickly become her source of ingredients for her dishes. She speaks so highly of you that Zhongli, one of the characters you fear most, decides to drop by your little shop.

His presence is intimidating with his golden eyes peering down at you and his tall stature towering over your little stall.

Despite his slightly domineering presence, his voice is as smooth and soothing as you remember it to be and you’re able to calm down enough to treat him like any of your other customers. You’ve already met many characters and none of them were able to recognize you. How could he be any different?

Except he’s not like the others.

He’s nearly 6000 years old. He’s seen things others haven’t and most importantly, he’s worshipped the existence of the creator far longer than any of the Liyue Citizens have been alive.

From the very beginning, he sensed that there was something different about you. Something familiar and oddly inviting. The former Geo Archon thought he knew everyone residing in Liyue but it’s his first time coming across you.

His eyes can’t help but follow your every move as you wrap up his box of vegetables. You finally finish tying up his box with some sturdy rope and grab a knife to cut off the long ends. Just as you’re cutting the rope, your hand slips.

The sharp knife slices shallowly into your opposite hand. Zhongli is only barely able to catch a glimpse of gold before you drop to the floor.

It isn’t the pain that’s brought you to your knees but the fear. You crouch over your hands, covering the wound as best as you can hoping with all your being that he hasn’t seen anything.

Both you and Zhongli can feel your hearts beating faster than ever before.

“Are you alright?”

The former Geo Archon attempts to walk over to the other side of the stall, when he hears the Traveler call his name. His attention wavers and it gives you just enough time to wipe your blood away and stuff the handkerchief into your pocket.

Zhongli glances at you amidst his conversation just to see you finish covering your wound with a bandage. Any trace of blood is gone and the wound is completely covered.

He walks away from the Traveler to speak with you. The geo archon’s eyes never once leave your hand as he stands in front of you.

“Is your wound alright?”

You nod waving your hand a little.

“Just a small wound,” you say, hoping he’d accept your answer and move on.

But he isn’t satisfied.

“Are you sure? It look like it hurt. It’s important to put some cream on it so it doesn’t get infected.”

“Of course! I’m a lot stronger than you think.” You smile before repeating his total. The Traveler ends up paying for the vegetables and the two leave, but not without Zhongli glancing a few more times at you.

When his figure completely fades, your smile drops.

It seems you’ve stayed a bit too long in Liyue.

Shaky hands clumsily pack up your stall as you race to close up the shop early and quickly head home before the Geo Archon decides to return.

While you rush, you don’t notice the small white handkerchief falling out of your pocket nor do you realize that the small piece of cloth would be the sole cause of the upcoming chaos that erupts throughout the nations of Teyvat.

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queenie-the-court-jester · 1 month

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HII, saw your post on wanting asks, well here 🫶 I love talking so, and specifically on playboy yandere!! I'm a sucker for angst and yanderes falling into insanity honestly, so let me ramble a bit

- imagine if reader graduates highschool and gets an overseas scholarships!! They also convince their family to move together with them so Kameron can't hurt or use them to blackmail reader. So with only a break up text saying like "bye manwhore 😍😍", blocking and deleting all their social media, I wonder how long and how far would he take to get reader back again? Would he inherit his parent's riches, hire some private investigatiors to find reader and find the country they're living in, expand his business over to their country in order to gain power to trap his darling. And I wonder how deranged his reaction would be to reader's text and be like no way, they're joking right, and runs to their house and whatever usual spots they're at normally, and just break down into insanity. would he try to use substitutes for reader to maintain his sanity or go fully devoid of emotions and start working hard to gain power and influence to find reader again!! I'm also curious how he would process his darling leaving him, would he become delusional first, saying they got kidnapped or something, or some ex or fling of his hurt reader, and then proceed to anger, depression, grief and then finally accept the reality!!

Ok that's a lot of rambling 😭😭 hope it's okay. I rlly enjoyed that fic, was rent FREE in my mind for a whole day

you know luci, you just gave me an idea. So have a part TWO of THIS DUMBASS HOE 🤝

Yandere playboy x reader

Tw: mentions of murder, kameron being delulu, yandere and obsessive behavior

💋kameron was having another breakdown. Sobbing pathetically on the floor of your old bedroom. Just how did you run away? And on such short notice too!? Didn't his love mean anything to you!? WHY DID YOU ABANDON HIM?

💋a million thoughts swirled through his head, until he finally got one that just... stuck. He had to get you back. No matter how long it takes. Getting up and dusting himself off, he kicked the front door open and quickly left the empty house

💋it was a shame really. The once sane and popular boy was struggling to keep his image. So he got help. Not professional as in therapists and medication. Just hiring other students to cover for him Incase he slipped up. all while snooping through the head teachers computer to see if they had any notes on where you might have gone. He almost got caught a few times

"shit that was close.. i can't believe these idiots leave their passwords just anywhere"

💋he knew he shouldn't be back at the school, especially since he graduated but he needs all the information he can get. Eventually moving onto private investigators and online stalking through multiple other accounts. He'd try anything just to see what his darling was doing without him. Were you enjoying making him suffer? You're so cruel..

💋hiring other people to befriend you and lower your guard, gathering any Information they can

💋 kameron who spent a while convincing his parents to let him take hold of the company. He had a degree, a bright mind, responsibility. He's perfect for the job! Oh if only they knew where his 60% was going.. funding multiple businesses across the world in exchange for keeping a careful eye. Making him quite the celebrity

💋look darling! He's on the news-! ...oh right you're not here.. one evening, while working in his office, a new secretary comes in to introduce themselves. They look just like you! He could only stare in shock.

"my love..? Is that you!?"

"..who?"

💋turns out it was just a doppelganger. But with enough time he'd delude himself into thinking it was you. Courting them with the same flowers, chocolates and jewelry he'd given you. It worked like a charm! Now you were back In their arms again. They felt whole..

💋he married your lookalike a year later, the poor fool being too naive and oblivious to think. He was happy for awhile.. or until one of his P.I's came in to show him they found you. His reality started to break.

💋no.. how could he do this to you. Replacing you with some cheap street whore. That night, when they went to bed, he gave them a cup of water and smiled sweetly. Watching as their face went red and they started to cough for air after gulping it down. Clawing at the sheets and staring at him with wide fearful eyes. Begging him to help them

"...slut."

💋 burrying the body in his backyard, he paid people with underground connections to cover for him while he was away. Claiming they suddenly vanished, having run away with a small fortune. How idiotic are people, to actually believe him..

💋kameron disguised himself and went straight for the country you decided to flee too. 5 years apart from you.. he had no idea how he managed to live so long without his beloved, but it was all worth it. Because now you'll be back where you belong. In his arms.

💋you were busy working at your job, running a small business was no joke but atleast the people in the area were friendly. So you didn't notice the suited figure Infront of your cash register

"thank you, please come again-"

💋you froze, looking up at the terrifyingly familiar face. He stared back at you with only glee and love

"hello my darling~ you've been on a naughty streak for a while Haven't you? That's okay, I'll just set you straight when we go back home."

💋big burly men all blocked you from escaping by guarding the doors. Dragging all the other customers out so you both could have your moment. Now you could never leaver leave him. Ever.

#yandere x reader #yandere x darling #queenie writes #queenie ocs #ocs #yandere #yandere male #yandere male x reader #male yandere #male yandere x reader #Yandere oc x reader #Oc x reader #Oc #Kameron the playboy #yandere headcanons

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kyemna · 3 months

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Alastor with a non-biological teenager who died in the 80's

This is kind of based on some headcanons I posted earlier. I wanted to include some in the story, so here it is!

Again, i made him a softy here, to come for my throat😞

I apologize if there are any grammar mistakes.

TW: Mentions of death

It was strange, dying. Apparently there's a whole process that happens after..

Standing in Hell when you 'wake up'..

Processing, and finding a place to live.

Getting kicked out of that place, because they find out you lied about your age, and now living on the streets.

A girl finding out you live on the streets, and you discovering she's the Princess of Hell.

She invites you to stay at her hotel, rent free, but in exchange, you have to rehabilitate. Okay, do-able right? Wrong.

Finding out the radio demon stays at that EXACT Hotel.

The demon you wanted to avoid the most.

Sighing and accepting the fact that your stuck with him.

So, there you were. A 16 year old, standing in the door opening of the hotel, ready to be Rehabilitated.

Charlie, the girl you met on the streets, walks up to you and shakes your hand enthusiasticly.

"Welcome (y/n)!! We're so happy to have you here!" She smiles widely.

You awkwardly smile back at her.

"Thanks for taking me in.. i really do appreciate it."

"Ofcourse, it's no problem. We need more guests here anyways so, your helping me out more than your aware." She drags you inside the hotel, introducing you to the staff.

"Everyone this is (y/n), our first ever teenager at the Hotel! (y/n), this is, Vaggie, Husk, Angel Dust, Nifty, Sir Pentious, and Alastor"

You looked at everyone taking in their appearances and names.

You make eye contact with Alastor, his usual grin widens, as he tilts his head a little to the left.

"Nice.. to meet you all." You smile a little.

Alastor spoke. "So, how old are you, dear?"

Taken off-guard by him actually speaking to you, you answer.

"16."

"When did you die?" Angel dust asks.

"1983" you answer, again.

Angel whistles.

"How did you die?" He asks.

You stayed quiet for a moment.

"I drowned." Your grip on your bag tightens.

"Charlie, can you show me to my room, please? I need some time to... take it all in"

She nods, leading you upstairs.

Alastors gaze follows you.

"Wow, well done Angel. Asking a teenager how they died. real smooth." Vaggie says.

"How was I supposed to know it would upset them?"

"I don't know.. common sense?"

He rolls his eyes.

Charlie opens the door to your room, as you both step in.

"Take your time to get settled in, there's no hurry. Breakfast is at 8:30, lunch at 12:00 and dinner at 18:00 (6:00). There's also a meeting tommorow morning at 10 but you don't have to come to that if you don't want to." She smiles, leaving your room.

You sigh, and plop down on your bed.

You turn to your left, being met by Alastor staring at you.

You scream, rolling off the bed.

"What the hell, Alastor?" You say, loudly.

"My apologies, dear. I just noticed something was wrong when you spoke about the way you died. Now, i'm no therapist, but I am a good listener.

Would you like to talk about it?"

You inhaled sharply

"What's there to say? I was fighting somebody off near a pool. I killed his friend. He pushed me in, and he drowned me. That's all there is."

He hummed as you stand back up, and start unpacking.

"Did you know him?"

"Not really.. I went to school with him but that's all." He nods, as he stands up, taking the shirt you had in your hands, and folding it properly for you.

"If you need a hand with anything, just ask" He says, leaving your room.

The next morning you wake up at 7:00 am.

You sit up, as you heard a knock on your door.

"Come in" you say, yawning.

Alastor opens, enters, and closes the door.

"Charlie asked me to help you get settled i-" He stops and looks at you, noticing your hair. "-in." He stays silent for a moment before speaking again.

"My goodness, you look an absolute mess, dear."

You roll your eyes, laying back down.

He walks towards the curtains and opens them, light cutting off your vision for a few seconds. You groan.

"Time to get up, we have a trip to make." He lays an outfit on the end of your bed.

"Meet me downstairs in 15 minutes."

He exits your room again.

"Strange guy" you mumble, getting out of bed.

"And make your bed!" he says loudly from the hall.

"Okay, dad" you yell back, sarcastically. That came out quicker than you wanted it to. You hoped he didn't hear it. With no response, you assumed he didn't.

You get dressed, brush your teeth, do your hair, and all in a hurry since you only had 15 minutes.

You run downstairs, noticing yourself in the mirror. Your wearing a white button-up shirt, with a dark blue skirt that reaches to your calfs, a pair of low black heels and a black hat, with lace. Not to big.

You weren't used to dressing so.. conservative.

Alastor was already waiting at the door.

"17 minutes. your late."

"Oh, whatever. It's only two minutes."

You say, straighting your skirt, hearing a quick static sound of irritation.

He sighs and opens the door for you.

"Thank you." You step outside, the cold wind hitting your skin, as you breathed it in.

You two were walking in silence when Alastor spoke.

"We'll be going to Cannibal town, where we'll be meeting a friend of mine. I need to ask a favour of her, and I wanted you to tag along, so you could get accustomed to Hell."

"What kind of favour?" You asked, looking up at him.

"I'm afraid that's none of your concern, dear."

You hummed in response, looking around, trying to memorize some of the streets.

"Alastor, when were you born?" You ask.

"1893, January 1st. Why do you ask?"

You whistle, a little surprised.

"No reason, just curious.."

You guys arrived at Cannibal town.

Everyone looked so old fashioned.

You realised why Alastor picked this outfit for you. You blend right in.

You two enter a small communal building.

He waves at a woman.

"Oh my stars. Do my eyes deceive me? Alastor, it's been ages!" She walks up to us, kissing him on the cheek.

"And who's this? Come now Alastor, she's much to young for you. I'm just kidding, I know your an ace in the hole." you snicker.

"A what now?" He asked, confused.

"I think she means ase-sexual, Alastor."

"Yes, that!" The woman says, snapping her fingers.

"I'm Rosie, dear. What's your name?" She smiles.

"I'm (y/n), ma'am, nice to meet you."

She gasps softly, laying her hand on her chest.

"A pleasure meeting you, dear. So polite. Alastor you could learn a thing or two from her." She says, laying her hand on your shoulder and taking us to a table.

You wiggle your eyebrows at Alastor, grinning. He rolls his eyes.

"So what can I do for you two?" She asked.

"It's better I discuss this with you privately, Rosie." Alastor says.

She nods, turning to me.

"You can wait here, Dear. We'll be right back" she smiles, as they enter her office.

An hour later, they came back out, laughing.

"Sorry it took so long, we got a little carried away" Rosie apologized.

"It's okay" you said, standing up.

"Thank you for your hospitality, Rosie."

Alastor thanked her.

She waved it away.

"No need to thank me, Al. It's always a pleasure having you around. See you next time!"

We both smiled at her as we left.

"So.." i started. "What did you two talk about..?"

He raised his eyebrow.

"I'm still not telling you."

You shrug. "Worth a shot"

You two got back to the Hotel, and had dinner with the rest of the staff.

At 23:00 (11:00) you stumbled upstairs, exhausted from your long day.

You opened the door to your room, and kicked off your shoes, falling onto your bed, immediately dozing off.

Alastor entered your room, about to say something, when he noticed you were asleep. He sighed softly, walking over to you. He gently picked you up, laying your head on your pillow and tucking you in.

Maybe this wasn't so bad after all...

Thank you for reading!

#x reader #hazbin alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #fluff #alastor #hazbin hotel

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queerfandomtrifecta · 6 months

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Bottle It Up: the most tangible theme in OFMD s2

So looking at s2 through the (super fucked up) lens that Jim asking Frenchie “How are you handling all of this so well?” And Frenchie responding by saying he puts all the terrible things in a box in his mind and never opens it again was the lesson everyone was supposed to learn this season and like, that’s there in the text more than anything else and I hate that.

Frenchie is handling everything well because he’s putting it in the box and never addressing it again.

Izzy finally says he has love for Ed, everyone is worried about him, the atmosphere is toxic and suggests talking it through and Ed goes on deck and points a gun at everyone as he asks them to talk about it, and when Izzy finally does address the reality of things and speaks Stede’s name aloud he gets shot in the leg.

Lucius isn’t talking about what happened. Avoidant about the Rat Boy name at first, says he fell off the ship, can’t remember when he picked up smoking.

Stede asks Lucius to talk to him about what happened after he was pushed off the ship, and Lucius starts to and almost immediately Stede runs away saying to save the rest for Pete.

Lucius says he talks to Pete and Stede says “please tell me you held back on some of the darker stuff” and Lucius confirms he did because Pete got nauseous and started crying.

Lucius tells Stede he should look past the man he loves and examine all the awful things he did, but Stede brushes it off and doesn’t do that.

No one will tell Stede they killed Ed. (Arguably this is for their own safety as well but it fits the whole “we’re not talking about the hard stuff” theme so I’m including it)

Ed finds out Stede went home to Mary through Anne Bonny. Stede begins to try to explain but instead, Ed smashes his chair against the wall and walks off. They have a very brief conversation with mention that Stede was kidnapped by Chauncey then watched him die.

Ed gives his influencer non-apology that was clearly written by Stede to the crew, and everyone but Lucius and Izzy seem to have forgiven him. During the “apology” Jim talks about how it made them feel and Stede shushes them so Ed can keep not apologizing. Afterward, for some reason, Jim says immediately says “I thought it was pretty solid for him” Archie says that’s how it goes in situations like this, Roach has never heard an apology before so they’re all good apparently now.

Lucius pushes Ed off the ship but isn’t okay yet. We’re addressing the trauma here and trying to make it right (even if it’s in a messed up way); we’re finally talking about it directly, but Lucius isn’t okay after this.

Fang tells Ed he’s not mad at him because he got it all out of his system when they beat him to death.

The whole Lucius/Izzy exchange “A shark did this to me. Dangling my legs over the side of the ship, served me right too.” “Okay, that seems healthy. Using a bit of fiction to cover up your trauma.” “Not moving on is worse.” (Another point at which Lucius wants to resolve trauma and he’s told no, don’t talk about it)

Lucius is clearly coping poorly and tries again to talk to Pete about how he almost died and Pete says he should find him when he’s no longer thinking about his trauma (“find me when Blackbeard isn’t living rent free in your head”) and that Lucius should talk about how he lived instead. Lucius then seems to decide that he’s fine, proposes to Pete, and is seemingly okay after that. (5th point in the story when Lucius tries to talk about something to heal and is told no in some way, and here is when he finally seems to moves on and is played as “better” after this)

Izzy’s drinking a lot even after he’s not totally dysfunctional like at the end of ep4.

The only Ed apology to Izzy is “Sorry about your leg.” With no eye contact as he’s walking away. To which Izzy responds “Fuck off.” After Ed’s out of ear shot.

Stede suggests Ed can absolve himself of everything by “turning the poison into positivity” and selling his treasure he got during the time he was abusing the crew to buy party supplies. Stede later says at the party that yes, Ed has achieved turning the poison into positivity, though Ed has done nothing by throw money at the problem.

Stede ignores Ed’s warning about not being able to come back from killing in cold blood and kills Ned Low.

Stede is visibly upset and Ed goes to check on him and begins to start talking, but Stede wordlessly grabs him and slams him up against a wall and then they have sex (which Ed has requested to wait on) instead of talking about it.

Ed decides he’s leaving to become a fisherman because Stede is infamous now and Ed’s been wanting out of that life so there’s a brief disagreement where not much is said and then he leaves.

“I’m sorry I was such a dick.” Is the biggest apology we’ve gotten all season. It’s immediately dismissed as “you’re not a dick. Life’s a dick.”

No one in the crew seems to be mourning Izzy’s death and we as the audience seem expected to move on from it very fast. Avenging his death is proposed by Zheng but then it cuts to nope, we’re done with that and we’re inn keepers now instead. Put the terrible thing you’ve seen in the box and never open it again.

I’m definitely sure I forgot some of these and it felt at first that these were being set up to be played negatively because this is the don’t-bottle-it-up/healing-from-our-traumas show but that just doesn’t play out. Like so much of it’s either dismissed without reason, played as a joke, or framed as acceptable and the fact that I could pull so much more of this stuff out of the text than I could any other potential thematic element does has me just so baffled. I don’t know what to do with it.

#ofmd spoilers #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #izzy hands #ofmd season 2 spoilers #ed teach #stede bonnet #ofmd critique #ofmd critical #david jenkins #ofmd meta

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themadknightuniverse · 9 months

Text

Forgiveness

@bachaboska 's lacho trailers are living rent free in my mind :)

So here is what this unfinished one inspired me!

Lalo stepped from behind the tiny abandoned house he knew so well. So many cold bodies laid under the dust. But he wouldn't let the only one he cared for join the other souls.

He fired, as soon as Gus Fring crossed his vision, and the man behind this whole mess fell to the ground, a bullet through his head. Guns were out the next half second. Two pointing at Lalo. Three at Victor and Tyrus.

"Leave." Lalo's voice left no place for negotiation.

The two men, faces tense, climbed back into their vehicle and left in a cloud of dust. Lalo finally looked down at the man still kneeling before Bolsa. Nacho was looking back at him over his shoulder. His stunning brown eyes were wide opened. His beautiful face stained with dried blood. What a shame.

"No deberías haber hecho esto." You shouldn't have done this

Lalo looked at Bolsa, and couldn't be any less bothered by who's body it was, laying in the dust. This life was done for. There was nothing to change what happened. Lalo would have killed him sooner or later, he was sure of it. Bolsa stomped away, getting his phone out, cooking a fake explanation to give Eladio to cover his ass.

Lalo's attention briefly flied to his cousins and his tío. He exchanged a long look with Hector, who's eyes were still glaring daggers. He wanted the kneeling man to die too.

Lalo approached Nacho. He was breathing fast, shallow, eyelashes fluttering imperceptibly as not a single word seemed to pass his lips. Lalo wasn't really expecting any. He didn't need any. He could read his other half like an open book right this instant. The shock, fear and guiltiness.

Crouching behind him, Lalo freed Nacho, noticing the fresh blood on his fingers a second too late. Nacho had already brought his hands before him, his shoulders hunched forward. Lalo looked over him to see the younger man looking down at his bloody hand, a piece of glass cutting his skin as he kept squeezing it.

Lalo went to his feet, and gathered Nacho's arms to pull him backward, his other hand guiding the precious head of his lover against his shoulder. This brilliant mind he loved so dearly. He cradled him tenderly, fingers stroking his shirt and his head, as Nacho's breath hitched as he tried to contain obvious sobs.

"Esta bien, Nachito." Lalo murmured in his ear "Yo te perdono, mi amor. Te perdono."

Still hidden on top of a rock, Mike looked through his lenses as Nacho let go of the bloody piece of glass, and even with the distance the tears shining in his eyes were visible. Mike sighed, pulling away from the edge, collecting his weapon. He had hoped of a better future for this lad. But he knew the next time Death will be on its way to gather the poor soul, he wouldn't be alone.

#lacho #nacho varga #lalo salamanca #bcs #lacho fanfic #text post #my art #this illustration has been Glazed to protect it from AI use #so don't worry if you see strange textures & colors in it #cw blood

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ceilidho · 8 months

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Your ex husband price makes me yEARN, like the gardening bandaid thing “better now, pumpkin?” was like a glimpse into seeing them grow old together and your tags “John I’m not gonna let this divorce get in the way of my marriage Price versus Reader I’ll fuck my ex husband whenever I goddamn want to wife” mean everything to me! Living in my head rent free for real, I am so obsessed

no but same. i'm currently sitting at 2700 words in the doc (slight pause while i work on some exchange fics that i forgot i was signed up for) and i can't stop thinking about them.

i fundamentally love the idea of their marriage and the dissolution of it and their gradual coming back together. they just love each other. everything that happens between them reflects the complications of their world and how much that love endures despite outside forces (john's career) and the mistakes the both of them make trying to navigate those outside challenges.

in my bff!soap fic, I briefly made the reader consider going on a date with someone else, but that's not even a consideration for either John or you in the ex-husband fic. that's beyond sacrilege.

you can think of the whole fic as a kind of flux and flow. situations draw them apart and they come back together like magnets of opposite polarity because it's so much harder for them being apart than being together. sometimes the circumstances drawing them apart are beyond their control, sometimes they're just simple human mistakes and missteps, but they're figuring it out.

#ceil writing #cod mw2 #price x reader #john price #captain john price #captain price #cod price #price x you

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ashesandhackles · 5 months

Text

Harry and Dumbledore: Crisis of Faith

The Life and Lies of Dumbledore chapter from DH lives rent free in my head, and I would love to get on my soapbox about why. It's no secret that DH is an allegorical tale with Harry as Christ figure and Dumbledore positioned as God figure - often represented by the symbolism of the all-seeing eye. The eye in the mirror (which turns out to Aberforth, who sends Dobby to the rescue), the symbol of Deathly Hallows in Dumbledore's signature.

Eye symbolism:

A flash of brightest blue. Harry froze, his cut finger slipping on the jagged edge of the mirror again. He had imagined it, he must have done... If anything was certain, it was that the bright blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore would never pierce him again.

and

Above what Harry assumed was the title of the story (being unable to read runes, he could not be sure) , there was a picture of what looked like a triangular eye, its pupil crossed with a vertical line.

The Deathly Hallows or the Gifts of Death is marked by a triangular eye - and it is explicitly seen as God's eye in Christian art and iconography.

So now, back to the chapter, where Harry completely loses faith:

The sun was coming up: The pure, colorless vastness of the sky stretched over him, indifferent to him and his suffering. Harry sat down in the tent entrance and took a deep breath of clean air.

The chapter opens with the smallness of Harry against the vast sky, a bird's eye view shot to really highlight how vulnerable he feels. On the heels of the chapters where he sees himself and his family immortalised in statues and have their bombed home preserved as memorial - a site people take comfort from the legend of Harry, and Harry takes comfort from the graffiti they left behind - it feels especially isolated. The vulnerability is glaring: Harry has lost the protection of the twin cores. The church bells are distant.

His senses had been spiked by the calamity of losing his wand. He looked out over a valley blanketed in snow, distant church bells chiming through the glittering silence.

Harry does not deal with vulnerability, most specifically helplessness very well. As a child raised in an abusive environment - his savior complex is rooted in needing to have agency. We see him grappling with what he perceives as complete abandonment from Dumbledore: 'Dumbledore had left them to grope in the darkness, to wrestle with unknown and undreamed-of terrors, alone and unaided: Nothing was explained, nothing was given freely, they had no sword, and now, Harry had no wand.'

And then, Harry reads the chapter titled Greater Good from Rita Skeeter's book.

So what was Albus doing, if not comforting his wild young brother? The answer, it seems, is ensuring the continued imprisonment of his sister.

This is important, because Harry's feelings about this are made clear in earlier chapters:

Could Dumbledore have let such things happen? Had he been like Dudley, content to watch neglect and abuse as long as it did not affect him? Could he have turned his back on a sister who was being imprisoned and hidden?

Harry is projecting onto Ariana Dumbledore, specifically with his experience of the Dursleys. He had once raged at Dumbledore in OOTP: "People don't like being locked up! You did it to me last summer!"

Harry's grievance with Dumbledore is not just about this exchange, but a specific choice Dumbledore made for his physical safety with blood wards. The narrative comes close to acknowledging it, in OOTP:

“Five years ago you arrived at Hogwarts, Harry, safe and whole, as I had planned and intended. Well — not quite whole. You had suffered. I knew you would when I left you on your aunt and uncle’s doorstep. I knew I was condemning you to ten dark and difficult years.” He paused. Harry said nothing.

“She doesn’t love me,” said Harry at once. “She doesn’t give a damn — ” “But she took you,” Dumbledore cut across him. “She may have taken you grudgingly, furiously, unwillingly, bitterly, yet still she took you, and in doing so, she sealed the charm I placed upon you. Your mother’s sacrifice made the bond of blood the strongest shield I could give you.”

He knew one thing, though: unhappy as he felt at the moment, he would greatly miss Hogwarts in a few days' time when he was back at number four, Privet Drive. Even though he now understood exactly why he had to return there every summer, he did not feel any better about it. Indeed, he had never dreaded his return more.

Harry understands it then, so it is striking that the only time he allows himself to get truly angry at the position Dumbledore put him in this chapter, through Ariana:

“I’m not trying to defend what Dumbledore wrote,” said Hermione. “All that ‘right to rule’ rubbish, it’s ‘Magic Is Might’ all over again. But Harry, his mother had just died, he was stuck alone in the house —” “Alone? He wasn’t alone! He had his brother and sister for company, his Squib sister he was keeping locked up —”

“I don’t believe it,” said Hermione. She stood up too. “Whatever was wrong with that girl, I don’t think she was a Squib. The Dumbledore we knew would never, ever have allowed —” “The Dumbledore we thought we knew didn’t want to conquer Muggles by force!” Harry shouted, his voice echoing across the empty hilltop, and several blackbirds rose into the air, squawking and spiraling against the pearly sky.

I am especially struck by the image of Harry's angry shouting making blackbirds fly into the pearly sky, and spiral over him. Blackbirds are associated with mystery, secrets and are seen as messengers to netherworld - this combined with the image of pearly white sky (heavens/God) seems intentional. It is carrying Harry's disillusionment to the heavens.

And then, the quote that pierces my soul, which is the heart of this chapter:

“Maybe I am!” Harry bellowed, and he flung his arms over his head, hardly knowing whether he was trying to hold in his anger or protect himself from the weight of his own disillusionment. “Look what he asked from me, Hermione! Risk your life, Harry! And again! And again! And don’t expect me to explain everything, just trust me blindly, trust that I know what I’m doing, trust me even though I don’t trust you! Never the whole truth! Never!”

It is reminiscent of Snape's "you have used me! I have spied for you, lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you" - basically, "why have you forsaken me?" moment.

He had trusted Dumbledore, believed him the embodiment of goodness and wisdom. All was ashes: How much more could he lose?

The chapter being set in whiteness and emptiness, reminiscent of King's Cross chapter where Harry does get his answers from Dumbledore.

And then Hermione, who has modified her parents memories, can confidently assert that "He loved you, I know he loved you", because her love for her parents, for Ron, can also be sacrificed at the altar of greater good, even if it means doing things that would hurt them (not choosing to go with Ron) and dismiss their agency (as is with her parents). It doesn't mean she doesn't love them.

“I don’t know who he loved, Hermione, but it was never me. This isn’t love, the mess he’s left me in. He shared a damn sight more of what he was really thinking with Gellert Grindelwald than he ever shared with me.”

Harry ends the chapter with seeking comfort from Hermione's touch, brushing his hair - wishing he could believe that Dumbledore really cared. (shoutout to @bluethepineapple meta here about this chapter)

And it is then where Dumbledore's gifts come in motion next chapter: his Deluminator lets Ron find his way back. Snape, effectively Dumbledore's man, sends the doe. Harry counts on what he learned from Dumbledore to destroy the Horcrux - he gives Ron the opportunity to wield the sword:

As certainly as he had known that the doe was benign, he knew that Ron had to be the one to wield the sword. Dumbledore had at least taught Harry something about certain kinds of magic, of the incalculable power of certain acts.

And then by Shell Cottage, Harry accepts Dumbledore's plan as is, and reaffirms his faith in Dumbledore's idea of Greater Good:

Dobby would never be able to tell them who had sent him to the cellar, but Harry knew what he had seen. A piercing blue eye had looked out of the mirror fragment, and then help had come. Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.

And then Harry chooses to stay on path Dumbledore laid out for him, only wishing now that he simply understood the man:

When Harry had finished speaking (about Voldemort), Ron shook his head. “You really understand him.” “Bits of him,” said Harry. “Bits . . . I just wish I’d understood Dumbledore as much. But we’ll see. Come on — Ollivander now.”

And finally, he starts to understand Dumbledore - through his conversation with Aberforth:

"And Albus was free, wasn’t he? Free of the burden of his sister, free to become the greatest wizard of the —” “He was never free,” said Harry. “I beg your pardon?” said Aberforth. “Never,” said Harry. “The night that your brother died, he drank a potion that drove him out of his mind. He started screaming, pleading with someone who wasn’t there. ‘Don’t hurt them, please . . . hurt me instead.’” “He thought he was back there with you and Grindelwald, I know he did,” said Harry, remembering Dumbledore whimpering, pleading. “He thought he was watching Grindelwald hurting you and Ariana. . . . It was torture to him, if you’d seen him then, you wouldn’t say he was free.”

Finally, he gets his chance to have a conversation with Dumbledore at the crossroads of life and death. TLDR: Deathly Hallows is an allegorical tale and it is best to treat it as such and roll with it, because otherwise it's deus ex machina galore.

#albus dumbledore #harry james potter #hp meta #deathly hallows

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raayllum · 6 months

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Do you have any favourite underrated Rayllum moments (either in the show or in the novels, graphic novels etc) ??

Oh so many!! I was a S1 shipper as well so I've always had the goggles on, which will undoubtedly influence this list (we're talking the littlest of the little moments) - novel quotes are in quotations

Callum glancing back to look at her in 1x03 when she stays behind to battle the smoke wolves

His happy little face when she's 'faced her fears' in 1x05 after they go down the waterfall

Literally every scene between them in 1x06 (which along with 1x05 and 1x04 are the Foundational Rayllum Eps, to me) + bonus shout out to Rayla winking at him twice while she's stretching

Callum admitting to her face that he was so distracted by her / thinking about her that he forgot the food they needed to live

Rayla teasing him in 1x07 just as an excuse to get all up in his space (like seriously, she's not nearly as touchy-feely with Ezran by any means)

"Everyone else started up the mountain, but Callum lingered. 'Are you okay?'"

"And for some reason, she found she wanted to share what she'd seen with Callum, even if she didn't tell anyone else."

"Rayla was now one of the best friends Callum had ever had."

The way Callum trails off for a split second with "She's more like a..." in 2x02 cause he isn't sure what to say / is considering it for probably the first time

Rayla not only admitting that she's scared of hurting him (at all) but that she's scared of hurting him to another Moonshadow elf, even though Moonshadow elves aren't supposed to show fear, ever

Callum being like "yeah we'll walk around an Entire Sea for you" and not caring at all about how long it'd take, only for 5 minutes later when they're going with the boat plan to be like "getting somewhere faster matters!!" like you love Rayla so much it makes you look stupid

Rayla taking his bag from him in 2x04

Rayla briefly cradling the back of his head as she lays him down in 2x08

How Callum stares at her and just her as she leads him into the canyon in 2x09, only looking around at their surroundings instead of at her when she indicates for him too

Callum forgetting that Sol Regem, the giant dragon actively trying to kill them, is even there because he's so focused on trying to get to Rayla after she's caught in the rockslide in 3x01

The teasing/admiring looks they exchange over the whole fart flower thing. They're best friends <33

The little smile she gives him in 3x05 after she's helped pull him up the ambler

The tiny smile they hold and exchange in 3x07 after their mock flirting as they continue walking up the Storm Spire

Eating from the same plate and wearing matching jammies / sharing room(s) in Through the Moon

That one panel where they're walking to see Allen and Callum's eyes are closed while he happily talks about something and Rayla's smiling and listening? Lives rent fucking free in my head. Encapsulates everything I imagine for post-war/everything Rayllum. 10/10, one of the panels of All Time, to me

Callum touching his arm once she lets go during their reunion in 4x03, boy was down bad immediately

Callum leaning over in between shots (in the background) like his life fucking depends on it to see if Rayla is going to come along on their trip with Ezran or not in early 4x04

Callum's face falling in 4x05 when they're talking on the Pinnacle only when Rayla says "Last time I was here, I leapt to my certain death"

All their little glances (particularly in 4x05 and 4x06) in S4 - mad or talking or not, they're still each other's person and slip right back into their old routines

Rayla looking to him silently for reassurance in 4x06 and the way Callum nods and gives it to her automatically. It's so sweet <33

How much Rayla plays with her hair around him in 4x07 like girl please

How consistently smiley Callum is in 5x01 despite the fact nothing's really gone right for them because Rayla is back and he's fully letting himself be happy about it for the first time, it's such day-and-night to how he is in S4

Callum having drawn Stella in his sketchbook at some point before 5x02 is so cute to me

The way Callum watches her hands and gestures in 5x04 so attentively when she's starting to open up

Rayla holding and handing his staff and bag to him as they're leaving the Bookery in 5x04

All of Rayla tending to him and helping him in 5x07, her hand braced along his back and/or on his shoulder

Him being a massive fucking loser and stumbling over in 5x09 so unsteadily bc he just Has to hold her hand like sir. s i r

#rayllum #thanks for asking #multi

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enby-axels · 7 months

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it's been months since i first read this and it still lives in my head rent free. like of course we know that wei wuxian does love jiang cheng as a brother, he literally accepts the prospect of losing his hand in exchange for "peace at home." but there's also this enormous sense of obligation too, for the jiangs taking him in and putting a roof over his head and giving him all these unimaginable opportunities! and jc until now had been ignorant of the way this "debt" had shaped their relationship. like yes he's always been aware of class having a role, he literally uses it, in a way, to outwardly rationalize his familial love for wwx and lets it inform their mode of companionship. (see: the whole yunmeng shuangjie promise, and his obvious heartbreak over losing wwx.) but the realization that wwx's love for him is complicated by his debts, that they can never be "twin" anythings or have the same freedom to act out of love, rather than duty... it's eye-opening. so of course he's unable to tell wwx of his own sacrifice. of course he lets him go

#image described in alt text #mdzs #mdzs meta #my meta #relationship analysis #jiang cheng #wei wuxian

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metaltangodiva · 1 month

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what are your thoughts on the different 'versions' of Krauser as well his various dynamics with Leon? Also do you have any advice for like...not being afraid to add your own interpretations and spins to characters? Like i think i care way too much about what people would think, so i'm a but scared to start posting anything, but at the same time I'd love to add to the fic collection lol

Hello hello~!

I wanna preface this quickly by saying I'm fucking unable to summarize anything, lmao. This turned out to be TWO ESSAYS.

I'll start by replying to the second question, because I sorta realized, about halfway through the answer, that I was writing a fucking essay on Metaltango and I didn't wanna overlook the second point of your message. Because it's super important to me, as a writer (amateur/hobbyist, but writer nonetheless) that people who want to write can do it.

And my suggestion is super easy: do it. Write the thing.

I know it's hard, I went through it too. It's hard to not compare yourself to other people, to go and think "man, they're not gonna like how I portray them". When I started writing "Normal", that was my worry. I was taking these badass, gun-toting, zombie-killing, masculine characters and putting them into a situation that's not only opposite to that, but pretty damn taboo in general. I've had Comments™. But whatever.

And what I tell people, when they say they're worried about how their stories are gonna be received, maybe because it takes a weird non-canon spin, or they feel their tropes are overdone, is:

Do it anyways. There's only you to craft that story you wanna see the way you want it; no one else can do it the exact same, even with the same prompts, the same tropes, the same characters. Everyone views things differently, and I think it's an amazing thing when it comes to art, well... almost everything, honestly. A saying that goes in a Discord server I hang out on is "there's nothing original anymore", but not in a bad way at all — so many works have the same themes, and yet they all still stand out somehow.

I might not the audience. This guy next to me might be, though! Or who knows, maybe *I* am the audience!

But you don't know any of this until you write it. Do it.

OKAY SO I GUESS THAT WAS PART ONE, lol.

SO LET'S GOO FOR PART TWO!

My thoughts on the different versions: I love them! Each version and each game brings something new to the table. I got started with RE4 (VR) — I liked how *aggressively homoerotic* that knife fight was.

Since it was my entry point to RE as a whole, I was curious as to *who* Krauser was, what was his relation to Leon, what happened between them, so on, so forth. Probably what a lot of people went through before Darkside Chronicles became a thing. His obsession for Leon and especially the *passion* behind it. Surely what happened between them was personal!

Then I heard of Darkside Chronicles and I had to play it for myself. So I did. And I was positively surprised when I saw Krauser as he was back around 2002. Gruff, rough around the edges, but just as snarky as Leon — and I love snarky characters. I felt their humor meshed so well. The "boy scout" exchange has lived rent-free in my head since I heard it. Same with the shared water bottle/indirect kiss. The snake/butterfly. Krauser starting as kinda dismissive of Leon, but quickly wisening up about it and treating him as an equal (and I feel it's more than that). And this became what I really wanted to see between them on the long run, hence why I started writing the AU "Normal" takes place in. They were such a good team, in spite of Krauser's wildly varying emotions.

Then RE4R came out, and it introduced them in a mentor/trainee relationship and I love that too. It's a whole different dynamic; Krauser's more serious but still does not shut up, Leon is still a smart mouth — I guess they clashed a lot overall and Leon can probably thank Krauser for all the extra push-ups and laps that gave him this *chef kiss* physique... but Krauser has a soft side to him. The guy really cared for his men, but as an instructor, as a soldier, as a superior and also as a human, probably couldn't voice it all too well. I cried when Leon picked up Krauser's knife, kneeled next to him and Krauser told him he was proud of him. That he had trained him well. It's a dynamic I wish I could capture well enough to put in words, but my real-life experience with anything army-related is nonexistent (well, so is my ageplay/military/"life as a couple" experience with "Normal", lol) and I feel I'd have a harder time with portraying it how I want to. So... I'm eventually gonna do it, outside of oneshots.

TLDR: Give me all the Krausers. They all bring something to the table <3

#metaltango #jack krauser #leon kennedy #resident evil #resident evil 4 #resident evil 4 remake #headcanon #i love them your honor #oh fuck I wrote two essays #DO IT

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pix3lplays · 9 months

Note

Remember that light cone where Serval is protecting baby Geppy? Yea these siblings live in my head rent free they are just so cute

Well my brain just had a thought that what if Gepard had a crush on florist!Reader and went to Serval for advice. Just a thought I had cuz my little brother came up to me today and asked me for advice to ask his crush out.

I LOVE that light cone, it’s on my Gepard hehe

How sweet is that?? Let’s do it, I love this.

And HOW PERFECT, a Florist reader for Geppie?? Because you’d both like to raise flowers???? Precious.

-Gepard has a crush on florist!reader, goes to Serval for advice-

Serval’s advice…was better suited for a different type of man than her little brother, Gepard. Her advice? Flirt. Flirt like his life depended on it. Well. Gepard doesn’t really know how to flirt, so Serval gives him a few lines to try out on you. She wasn’t confident her little brother could pull it off though…oh well, at least he was willing to try, right? … Gepard enters your cute little shop, the reddest he’s ever been, when you approach him and ask how he’s doing and if he could use any help finding anything. To which he responds with…a cheesy cheesy CHEESY pickup line. One that makes you laugh out loud and ask him if he was being serious. To which he responds by nodding, turning a whole new shade of red, and trying another one. “Are you…trying to ask me out?” you finally ask, tending to your flowers while the two of you talk. He nods awkwardly, clears his throat. “My sister suggested the pickup lines…for that, I apologize…” “No, it’s alright, they were…cute,” you conclude with a smile. “I’ll gladly go on a date with you…” “Really?” he asks, genuinely surprised. “Sure, why wouldn’t I? You seem nice, and you’re certainly funny,” you chuckle, and he reddens just a little bit more, adjusting the collar of his shirt nervously. “Thank you…yes, let’s…let’s go on a date sometime soon…” And the two of you exchange numbers, he buys a couple of flower seeds, and a few weeks later you receive a beautiful bouquet in the mail from a certain Gepard Landau.

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #my writing #Gepard Landau #Gepard Landau x reader #Hsr Gepard x reader #honkai star rail Gepard x reader

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zephyrins · 3 months

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I was inspired by dark-and-kawai and istoleyoursk1n posts and this idea lived in my head rent free for a long time so

enjoy my headcanons what if

Raphael is your father

🍒 Everything in your relationship with your father is a contract. I mean EVERYTHING, since you were a child.

“What is it, darling? Do you want to go on a walk? Sure, just sign here and clean your room in exchange”.

“Do you want dessert for dinner? So be it, your signature and a plate of vegetables first”.

🍒 The older you got, the more tricky words he started using, but it became a kind of game for you to find those loopholes.

🍒 He’d never tell you, but secretly he’s incredibly proud every time you manage to use those loopholes to your advantage.

🍒 Raphael never throws away your children's drawings or all the silly contracts between you, they are all carefully stored in the archive.

🍒 Once you spent a whole week in Cania with your super cool grandpa Mephisto. You wondered why you never visited him again, and only years later you found out that in fact it was not a “vacation”, but you were literally kidnapped and held hostage.

🍒 Raphael sends you to the Material plane to your peers and teenagers to catch up on the slang and then explain it to him, but you made a contract that he will never use those new words, because you’ll die of cringe the moment he says “cringe” himself.

Well, let me know if you like it! I really want to make the second part!

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #raphael bg3 #raphael baldur's gate 3 #raphael the cambion

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ktlsyrtis · 7 months

Text

I've finally slept off enough of the jet lag to piece together some semi-coherent thoughts about last weekend.

First and foremost, it was so wonderful to get to see and talk to so many internet pals in person. Sharing this whirlwind experience with @seahorsepencils, @batnbreakfast, @starfleetwitch, @akaanonymouth, @iordio, @elphiessolsikke, and @ariverandasong is something I'm going to treasure always

(the rest is under the cut because this got long 😅)

Octopolis:

I have never been in a theater as small as the Hampstead. It is literally no bigger than my living room, with only two rows of seats around three sides. So when I tell you that Jemma was RIGHT THERE you can get a sense of what I mean lol.

Truly the wildest part was the moment of this person who you've seen on screen so many times suddenly being a real human person in front of you. Like I think my brain broke for the first few minutes of the show 😅. From that point forward it was just sitting back and taking in how engaging, funny and gorgeous she is in person. There were a few lines and moments in that show which will live rent free in my head forever. Especially what a huge dork of a dancer she is 😂

Afterwards the group of us waited in the cafe to say hello. When she came upstairs she excused herself for a bit because her brother and his family were there to see the show that night, which was very sweet, and then she came over to talk to us on her way out.

I know it sounds trite, but she really is just the sweetest, loveliest person. She took the time to talk to everyone and was so kind and engaged. I was able to give her the scarf I made for her. When she found out I knit it she was like "Really? Why would you do that for me??" 😂

The highlight of the evening came courteous of @seahorsepencils, who had seen the show the night before and told Jemma that a group of Berena fans was coming the next day.

Some actors might've been like 'oh god' and run for the back door. Others might make a big show about dressing up for their public. Not Jemma, oh no.

Meeting her was so overwhelming that I didn't notice at first. But while she was talking to someone else it suddenly clicked that she was wearing Bernie's pink coat! (I think I almost ripped @starfleetwitch's arm off when I realized lol) Slowly, the rest of what she was wearing sunk in:

Pink coat? Check. Black skinny jeans? Check. Sweater over a button down? Check. Chelsea boots? Check.

That's right friends. Jemma Redgrave, glorious dork that she is, FUCKING COSPLAYED BERNIE WOLFE FOR US!!!!!!

Honestly my biggest regret of the whole trip was that in the whirlwind of everything we didn't take a picture with her. Fortunately some other fan was there that night and got some photographic proof:

(yes, she is holding the scarf I made; no, I will not be able to be normal about it lol) (also when we told her we were going to Catherine's show the next day she said to "give her my love" 😍)

Great Expectations:

Another day, another incredible UK theater. The Royal Exchange is a gorgeous venue; much larger than Hampstead, but still very intimate. We were able to get seats in the front row banquettes for the matinee, which was an amazing experience.

Catherine on stage is...the only thing I can think of is a force of nature. Her sheer presence made it seem like she was a foot taller than the rest of the cast and she owned the stage every time she was on it. On top of that, she somehow she managed to make racist, decrepit Miss Havisham really hot??? Which is a contradiction my brain still hasn't been able to fully reconcile lol

Because of all the work that goes into her makeup she understandably didn't stage door after the matinee. Fortunately some of us also had plans to go to the evening show.

This time around my seat turned out to be on the aisle where she made all of her entrances and exits, which meant she was literally inches away from me every. single. time. (shoutout again to @starfleetwitch who was sitting directly across the aisle and therefore on the receiving end of many a gay-panicked stare on my part 😅)

It was a rainy day in Manchester and the official stage door is outside with no overhang, so we took a chance and hung around in the cafe/bar area after the show. We figured that Catherine going to the bar was as likely as the sun rising in the east lol

Fortunately the chance paid off - she came out to the cafe to have drinks with a couple of her costars and was kind enough to come talk to us (after asking if we could talk in the bar so she could get a glass of wine of course 😂)

I have to tell you friends, I have very little recollection of what I said from this point forward lol. Truly talking to her was like having some kind of out of body experience. There were a couple of specific moments that are burned in my memory

I gave her the shawl I made for her, and she immediately flung it around her neck and wore it for the rest of the night *cue internal screaming and flailing*

When we told her we'd seen both shows that day, her response was "Oh god why?? It's bad enough having to be in it twice"

I don't know if she like bathes in the blood of children or something, but her skin is FLAWLESS. Literally she looks 10 years younger in person with no makeup on, its insane. Also her eyes are just as sparkly as you think they are, and when she makes eye contact it is A LOT

She asked if we all wanted to take a picture and proceeded to put her arm around me ☠️☠️☠️

She spent a good amount of time talking to us and was just as lovely, funny, and ridiculous as I could've hoped lol. In particular she mentioned how happy it makes her that Berena has taken on such a life beyond Holby and that we've all made such wonderful friends because of it.

After we let her go to talk to her cast mates, I somehow poured myself into a seat in the bar and someone got me a much needed gin as we all tried to unpack what had just happened. At some point she came back into the bar and went out of her way to come over and talk to us again (she basically appeared right next to me, and when I tell you the sheer relief that it was in the 30 seconds I wasn't spouting my usual girl crush bullshit about her 😅)

...

The rest of the trip was sub-optimal, bordering on karmic retribution lol. The tire on our rental car blew out on the M1 on our way back to London, and what should have been a 4 hour drive came out closer to 9, when all was said and done. At that point there was only time to eat, sleep, and catch the plane home

I may not have had as much time to see everyone and to spend in London as I had hoped, but I have zero regrets about the trip. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience and I'm so, so glad I went

And the most important life lesson:

#catherine russell #jemma redgrave #fandom life #honestly i mostly wrote this to help prove to my brain it was real lol

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pinkandpurple360 · 3 months

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…so when we getting the thread focusing on fizzarolli’s feelings for blitzo 👀 i think blitzo’s feelings are pretty consistently acknowledged by the fandom but less so fizz

Blitzøs really aren’t acknowledged because this fandom saw him say “oh you two are an item?? Well congrats you hypocrites”

And they thought it was about stolas. That he was mad on stolas’ behalf.

Girl. No. He was jealous of Fizz, remember the guy he asked for a kiss from after he already knows he has a thing with the rooster? And hypocrisy is clearly about Moxxies song, his friend who he stood up for.

Anyways, fizz? Hasn’t been in the show enough for me to know for sure but two lines stick out to me

“Last time I checked your love life is a pile of shit” — uhh fizz?? What do you mean you checked?

“Can we talk about something other than my sex life?” — again Fizz, you’re a little obsessed. And why are you so disgusted by blitz being with the Prince at Ozzies? What’s it to you?

The line “you’ve lived rent free in fizz’s head for years” seems to me like he saw him as some kind of nemesis and was 100% keeping tabs on him constantly. He was the one who he reached out to when burnt and even when he thought he did it he said “why didn’t you come see me, even once wouldve been fine!” That’s pretty heartbreaking. Like he doesn’t want to ask for too much from him, he would have taken anything. If he just saw his face once he’d be ok. And being told that blitz didn’t care and did that to him on purpose seems to have permanently scarred him mentally. You don’t just bounce back from that. Cause it seems like that negligence is sooo contradictory to the careful way he always treated him.

Ozzie says “he values your take on things” is something Ozzie noticed but Fizz doesn’t even notice himself. Kinda mirrors the exchange they had when he said “as if I give a shit what you think” “you always cared what I thought”

It’s not like he’s important to him or anything😗 baka

Sorry.

But another way this came back again was when he asked Blitz “do you think I could win if I worked really hard?” And he replies “I think if anyone’s gonna be the new clown face on everything it’ll be you fizz” and he just lights up 🥺 that whole scene was my favourite part of the episode

In part of my thread I also talked about how Ozzie kinda seems to have replaced the role blitzø used to have in his life. His best friend, his performance partner, the person who keeps the creeps away from him, the one who gives him gentle reassurance and helps him out in their dressing room (I’m inferring there) they just seem very samey. The way the show framed it is that Blitzø loves fizz just as much as Ozzie does.

Fizz doesn’t really talk a lot about love if you really notice? Crooked was Ozzie professing his love for fizz really. And Fizz is mostly fixated on “not losing” they could have made some references to the life he lost but they never do, they only talk about not losing Asmodeus. But I think we can put 2 and 2 together that the trauma of losing everyone and thinking his “bestie/hero/enemy/sortve friend” hated him, is what makes him cling so hard. Plus the fanart and likes have more or less confirmed that he felt the same way. If he didn’t it wouldn’t be half as tragic.

But in the end what’s the story here? Yeah two inseparable friends in poverty and low class were in love, a horrible fire burned them when one couldn’t confess to the other. Then everyone conspired to keep them apart. The guy who purchased one of them as a childhood toy buys him again as a sex toy, and the other kid is saved from his disability and abuse by another rich guy who makes sex dolls of him….why all this imagery of chains and ropes and dolls??

Also the whole idea of rich men saving you from your struggles bothers me even if stolas loses everything it changed nothing.

#helluva boss #blitzfizz

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