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#thinking aloud helps me focus on what im doing
chemblrish · 2 months
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11 March 2024
I was surprised that my solutions didn't crystallize over the past week to which my thesis supervisor said lightheartedly that it's normal and that he once waited for something to crystallize for THREE YEARS. I hope my solutions know I need to graduate some day.
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markiemelon · 2 months
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hiiiii~~ can i request a scenario where nerd!mark and athlete!reader are on a study date and mark finds reader so cute when they don't understand the material? also bonus points if the reader is shy and doesn't want to ask for help cus they're embarrassed
Thank you!! ur writings make me so happy
focus
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genre fluff ﹋֪֢ ♡︩ · no warnings!
pairings nerd!mark x athlete!reader
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4:18pm — ♡
“yn,” your math teacher addressed you, “im worried that your training is interfering with your studies.”
that wasn’t the first time you’d heard that, and yet, you still couldn’t think of a good excuse to tell. “look, yn, i’ve made it easier for you by arranging some study sessions with a classmate of yours.”
you actually felt kinda relieved to hear that. surely, some extra studying couldn’t hurt.
“in fact,” he continued, “he’s right here.” he gestured to a familiar boy walking into the room.
it was mark. you knew mark, but you never crossed paths much, considering how different your priorities were…you were all about training, and mark was all about studying…
“so i have to spend the rest of my afternoon with this nerd?” you accidentally said aloud.
“now, yn, we still have to be professional during after-school hours.” your teacher demanded.
mark just chuckled and smiled at you. his round glasses and ruffled hair added a gentlemanly charm to him that made you swoon a little.
“i’ll be off now, but feel free to stay in the classroom.” your teacher said, shuffling together some lose papers. “mark, just lock up the door as usual, i trust you as our class president.”
you widened your eyes. “he’s class president?”
“you didn’t know?” mark raised an eyebrow.
“i—uhh”
“i’ll leave you guys to it then.” your teacher nodded before he exited the room.
you approached mark. “if it makes you feel any better, i didn’t even know our vice principal until last week… so um, don’t take it personally.”
with that pathetic attempt at explaining yourself, mark sensed you were nervous. he walked up to you, his arms crossed and head nodding ever so slightly. “alright.” he said with a grin. “i won’t.” he looked at you for a second longer before pulling a chair out from the desk. he insisted that you sit, and he sat beside you.
and so the studying began… you handed mark a crumpled up page from the deepest, darkest depths of your backpack, and he looked confused “do you… want me to throw this away for you?”
“no!” you snatched it back. “that’s my calculus homework!”
“oh shoot!” he couldn’t hold in his cackle. “I’m sorry— yn im sorry.” he said it with the biggest smile on his face, weak from the laughter.
“whatever. just tell me how to solve this. or save us both some time and just tell me the answers.” you slumped in your chair.
he scanned the page briefly. “yeah, so it’s simple, really..” mark inched the graph paper closer to your side of the table.
he pointed at some numbers and rambled, of course, you couldn’t keep up. so you did the next best thing, which was letting your mind drift off to somewhere else..
“actually, he’s kinda cute..” you admitted to yourself while observing his side profile.
focus.
“it must be the glasses. he looks good with glasses.” now you were noticing things you hadn’t payed any attention to before.
focus.
“why is he so close to me…” your heart skipped a beat at the realization.
suddenly, mark’s voice became clear at the mention of your name.
“yn… focus” he cooed, not even looking up from the paper. he must have felt you staring, but oddly, you didn’t look away from him.
mark stopped his writing, but he kept his pen to the paper, holding it still as he turned to face you.
almost immediately, your confident demeanor crumbled, and now, head lowered, you depended on mark’s answer to break the silence.
“solve this one. it’s what i just showed you.” he rolled his pen to you.
“oh. okay.” you hesitantly took hold of the pencil, and did your best to pretend like you understood, but mark obviously wasn’t buying it. after writing some gibberish, you gave up.
“um, mark?”
“yeah?”
“im a little embarrassed to ask… but.. can you explain it again?”
he didn’t look surprised. he looked at you endearingly. “as expected..” he chuckled, weighing his head side to side to stretch out his neck. his gaze shifted to the clock on the wall behind you. “you know, we should probably head out now.”
“already?” you looked back to see the time for yourself. he didn’t say anything for a second, he just nodded and flashed a gentle smile. “you get too distracted.” he nudged your shoulder. your cheeks burned a little when he did that. “well you’re too distracting.” you nudged him back.
mark grabbed his shoulder where you touched as if he were injured by your strength. “i’m so distracting yet you couldn’t focus on a single thing i said?” he teased you. you didn’t have a witty comeback, so you just stayed silent and stuffed some things wherever they could fit in your bag.
at that point, it was clear to both of you that the next few study sessions you had lined up, would be far more exciting…
a couple weeks of studying with mark went by, and the flirting made its way into your classes. he was getting bolder in his advances. it started with some subtle compliments but now he’s been giving you these corny winks from a across the room, and he makes it really obvious what he’s doing.
once mark started sitting next to you, hell broke loose. one time, the teacher asked the class to solve something, and you miraculously managed to figure it out before mark did. it still backfired tremendously…
“oh my gosh, i got it!” you whispered to mark. “it’s 29!”
he smiled at you for a second, before raising his hand, while simultaneously blurting out, “29! it’s 29!”
your teacher looked pleased. “that was quick, mark. as always, you never disappoint me with your calculating abilities.”
mark threw is head back laughing as quietly as he could, and you kicked his leg underneath the table.. as hard as you could.
later, you would find yourself sitting with mark, side by side, staring down at your math textbook.
“okay, tell me the answer to number 4.”
you didn’t even try to hide the fact that you had no idea what was going on. “i don’t know it.”
mark paused and laughed out of disbelief. “yn, it’s a good thing you wanna be an athlete and not a mathematician.”
what he said was true, but it annoyed you regardless, so you snapped back.
“and it’s a good thing you’re cute, ‘cause that’s the only reason i haven’t killed you yet.”
“psh,” he laughed in an exhale. “are you into me or something?” he kept his eyes fixed on the paper in front of him.
you giggled, “i think that’s the first time i’ve actually known the answer to a question you’ve asked me.” you smirked to yourself, feeling proud of your smooth talking.
when he didn’t respond, you continued.
“yknow.. mark, for being top of the class, i thought you’d have a bit more common sense.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?” he didn’t even bother looking at you.
“yes, mark, i’m into you.”
he still avoided looking your way, but he couldn’t hold back his smile. you stayed staring at your cute math tutor, and you could tell it was making him shy. “yn. focus.” he tapped his pencil on the table.
you tried to pout. “but the math isn’t cute...”
he tapped his pencil more aggressively.
you didn’t try to fight back. you started jotting some things down desperately trying to figure out the equation, until he tapped his pencil again. “yn. i need you to focus.”
annoyed, you jerked your head to face him. “i am focused. im literally doing the math-” your eyes traced his features.
“no, i mean on this.”
“on what?”
he smiled and tapped his pencil to his cheek.
“i need you to focus on me.”
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this ended up being longer than intended... but thank you thank you so much for requesting, im so happy to hear that you like my writingggggggggff!!!!! also sorry this took so long, im kinda backed up on requests LOL.
-🍉
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sunraies · 1 year
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a smut where rafe is streaming but reader (she/her) gets horny and is teasing him behind the camera and the conversation get to the point/topic about onlyfans 🙈 AAAAH IM SORRY BUT I DREAMT OF THIS LAST NIGHT AND I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT AHAHAHHAA 🙈 help me out here please 🫶✨ thank youuuuuuuuu
I tried, only proofread once as always with smut
Distraction
Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings- +18 MDNI, smut, fingering, reader teasing Rafe. Dirty talk.
As requested above. Rafe is on a live stream, and you distract him.
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Throwing the book down on the bed and kicking the blanket of your legs. You sighed in frustration. You had just read some absolute filth and had a million thoughts running through your head with no Rafe to help you.
You could sort out your little problem yourself, but ever since you began dating Rafe, it wasn't the same. You often found it just made you need him more, and that made you even more frustrated.
His voice and laughter carried from the spare room, his streaming room of your shared house, as you dug around in the bedside drawer. You smiled at the buzz of your bullet vibrator before it suddenly stopped.
"Fuck" you cursed at flopped backwards on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, contemplating life. You knew your own hand would be no good. "Fucking asshole" you muttered to yourself.
Once you heard his laugh again, you sat up suddenly and came up with a plan to get what you wanted. Stream time be damn, you needed Rafe.
Rafe started his streaming career three years ago. He had started with videos of the crazy shit he and his friends would get up to. From yacht parties to setting off fireworks on the Country Club golf course.  People ate up the crazy rich lifestyle.
Over time, and as his fan base grew, while the videos became wilder, they also became calmer. Sometimes, he could sit live in front of the camera and just chat. They still loved him.
"Yeah, so we won't. We won't be. " Rafe stumbled on whatever he was explaining as you stood in the doorway. You had caught his attention the moment you leant against it.
'Hi baby,' you mouthed, stood in only his white shirt and lacy black lingerie.
He shook his head, trying to regain focus on what question he had been asked. He was thanking all the gods that the camera was the other way round so no one could see how, drop dead gorgeous you looked.
"So, as I was saying. Top won't be sticking a firework up his ass, again. " He tried to explain as comments flooded the screen, everyone wondering what had suddenly him so distracted.
You sent him a wicked smirk as you trialled a hand down your body, right to the panty line. His eyes roamed your body with your hand before they snapped up to yours, daring you to do it.
"What am I looking at?" He read a comment aloud before smirking."Well, I'm looking at the most gorgeous site on the planet"
You felt your cheeks heat up, but didn't want to back down as your fingers slowly dipped below the panties and began circling your clit. You bit your lip so as not to moan while your other hand cupped your breast, playing with your nipple through the thin fabric.
"Yes. It's my girl. " He kept eye contact with you before raising an eyebrow as you frowned. He knew it wasn't giving you any relief.
His followers knew of you. He never kept you a secret, but your face was never in his videos. He wanted you to have some privacy, but sometimes you were in a photo or in the background of a house video. Most of them seemed to love you, too.
"Come here, baby." He held a hand out to you
You hesitated before walking over and allowing him to pull you into his lap. He covered you the best he could and made sure that your face was cut out. Luckily, the only part visible was your torso.
"I think I'm needed for something. But you'll have a new video by the end of the week. " He spoke to the camera again. "Three words, foam, pool and party"
He reached over to stop the stream before comments asking for only fans videos with you and saying how amazing you looked, caught his attention.
"What do you think, baby?" He whispered in your ear, squeezing you tighter, his hand holding you thigh. He made sure your legs weren't visible as his thumb brushed against your lace covered core. "Would you join me on only fans?"
You knew he had one. It was something he often got you to help with, but you had always been behind the camera.
All you could was nod before he placed a quick kiss on your neck.
"She said yes." He smiled at the camera. "Maybe there'll be a video up later. Bye"
He quickly shut everything down before humming and kissing your neck again, peppering from your jaw to your shoulder with kisses.
"Would you really like that, pretty girl?" He gently run his fingers over your folds, feeling how soaked you were. "You like the idea of people watching while I make you come undone"
"Yes, Rafe." You breathed, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck as he forced your legs open wider. His hand  harshly played with your clit, making you jolt forward.
"Let's get you warmed up, baby." He continued to tease you before slipping in two fingers, pumping them slowly. You gasped and rocked into his hand while his other hand played with your breast.
"I want them witnessing how you scream my name and to hear you cry when you desperately want to cum. My good girl" 
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mcubuckyxlokisbitch · 3 months
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OUT OF ALL THE TIMELINES
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Short Series !
Female Asgardian reader (now avenger) X TVA Loki
Chapter 1: Avengers I need your help (done)
Chapter 2: Interrogations and proclamations (done)
Chapter 3: Even Asgardians have myths (done)
Chapter 4:
Chapter 5: -
Chapter 6: -
Surprise !!!!
Chapter 7: Chapter 8: Chapter 9 Chapter 10:
Warnings: Alot of angst <3, somebody kissed but im not saying who, mentions of blood, injury,
Summary: After your Lokis death and have moved on and joined the Avengers. After the aftermath of Endgame you and the other remaining Avengers all seek shelter in the new Avengers Warehouse Pepper Potts bought as a temporary replacement while the Avengers mansion is being renovated. What happened after a very tired mission. Well, you're speechless, to say the least.
a/n: I added a few more chapters because you know dreams lmao so enjoy this one !! Tell me if yall want smut soon. CuZ ye im feeling a smut scene some time soon.
You walked around the Avengers warehouse and got to the medic bay. The push the doors open, "How are her vitals."
"Well for one thin they don't make any sense."
"Ive been trying to heal her but, I can't get a signature on the dark magic... I need your magic to track it." Wanda says as her hands float above the blonde girl.
"She really does look like Loki its scary.... Like put a blonde wig make her shorter and put some eyelashes boom you got blondie here."
You rolled your eyes as your eyes traveled towards Ivars dark matter dagger. A strong dark force gutted your stomach, you could feel the evil from a mile away. You saw the veins around the stab wound as they turned black and spreaded around her stomach.
The only thing that could kill an Asgardian God. With its rusted blade and messily bandanged handle. Just as the myths say, the dagger was made for Odin the allfather but Ivar and his dagger were defetead and casted away before he could use it on him.
You closed your eyes and took a deep breathe to cast a simple healing spell.
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"Alright, enchantments are more than just casting especially when your doing a healing spell." Loki circled around you. You closed your book as you groaned, bored of slow paced lessons set by the prince.
"A healing spell I think we can do something more challenging than that Loki."
Loki stopped in his steps as he brought out his dagger and striked your leg.
"LOKI... AARGH.... YOU MISBIGOTTEN SON OF A LEPPERS GOAT. YOU DAFT ARSE" YOU SCREAMED AT HIM. He chuckled and tipped your chin to look at him with the bloodied dagger.
"Careful, if we go on legal terms thats treason against the prince and queen..." He grinned. "On more serious terms you need to learn how to cast the spell on yourself, this way casting it on others will come naturally."
You tried to hold the cut on your thigh, blood was seeping out continously as you winced when you tried to move your leg. "How am I to focus when im bleeding to death." the words gritting through your teeth.
"Close your eyes and breathe..." Loki sat behind you whispering to your ear. He placed his hands on yours and led them to your wound. "The spell only works when your calm." You took a deep breath and out as your shaky hand lay above your wound. "Feel the energy from your body, allow it to flow through your to your hands down to your wound."
You did as he said. Your enchantments extended to the wound as the blood started to lessen but the wound didn't close. "Now the difficult part. Closing the wound, you can't just imagine it to close, you know the spell."
You said aloud through your teeth holding in your pain. "Rense helbrede såret." Nothing happened, the blood lessen but the wound was still wide open. You were confused and irritated to say the least.
Loki nudged his nose towards the crook of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. "A spells power is through its whisper, to be a true master you must not only say it but think it."
Relaxing your hands as Loki slithered his to your shoulders, you casted in a whisper focusing on the spell imagining the wound closing and the energy flowing towards your wound. "Rense helbrede såret." your eyes glew orange as your enchantment casted on your leg closed the wound slowly from one end to the other. The stinging pain you felt a few seconds ago was gone. There was no mark no scar where there was once blood and torn muscle. You laughed aloud and jumped up from your seat cheering.
"I- I did it no way, I just casted a healing spell on my first try... Loki you are magnificent." You turned to the man who raised an eye brow. The unimpressed look which gutted you stomach and stopped yur cheering as you felt shameful.
"Are you proud of such a small spell I mastered long before I was 16 years old." You blushed in shame as you brough your head down. Looking away from him, you could still feel him walk closer to you. "Charms are not something you can play aroudn on the side either you take it seriously and master it or I never teach you again. Do you wish to be great or nothing...."
He was now merely inches from your as he pinched your chin and brought him to look towards him, "So tell me little girl..." At this point you could feel your heart about to jump out your heart at any moment.
"Great or nothing." he whispered
"Great..." you mumbled.
"Perfect." he leaned down as he placed your lips on yours.
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"Perfect-
You snap back to reality.
"Perfect, I have the signature of the spell.... You can take the spear out whenever your ready Y/N..." Wanda smiled.
You blanked out as you saw the wound still corrupted but not as bloodied as it was before.
"Careful, won't asgardians burn or disintegrate when you touch the handle or something." Peter stopped your hand.
"It is merely a myth Peter." You held his. "It'll sting slightly but I'll be fine."
"Wow even asgardians have myths. It's like inception a myth in a myth." Ant man said chewing on his chips in the corner of the med bay on a spare bed.
You hold the dagger and it burned your hand the moment you wrapped your hand around it. You winced and pulled back your hand and shook off the heat. Everyone had their eyes on you as you tried again. You wrapped your fingers around the handle, the burning sensation started as you focused on absorbing the heat but it didn't work.
"Teya, your hand it's turning the same colour as the wound." Sam pointed out
Your hand was corrupted. You casted a healing spell on your hand as you held the dagger handle tighter ignoring the warnings from your teamates.
Only one of asgardian strength can pull out the dagger. But anyone who lays in the hand on the dagger, will meet death.
It was a phrase, a warning actually, you remembered like the back of your hand from your favourite tale.
You pulled the dagger out with some force as the wound on the body closed. You dropped the dagger on the ground as you did too.
You were on your knees as your hand turned black and you wrapped your other hand on it trying to heal it. The room felt like it was a million degrees as you felt the darkness travel through your veins.
"Y/N whats going on..." Sam said kneeling down beside you. "FRIDAY RADIO STRANGE FOR AN SOS."
"Yelena, get Thor, Parker make sure Barnes does not know about this make sure they stay with Loki."
"Don't tell James." You whispered to Sam
"Not a chance princess."
"Wanda hows the wound." You looked up in pain.
"Closing in. But old Asgardian magic is complicated, I need time to find a way for it to not spread."
"Sam, I'm fine." you groaned through the pain still trying to cast the healing spell on your arm.
"Ya say that to your black hand. And..... woah." Sam started to let your hand go when your hand to elbow was turning black
"I'm here..." Stephen walked through a portal.
"Her eyes." Sam said concerened as there was no white left in your eyes just pitch black.
You forced yourself to stand up. Your shaking right hand corrupted as you projected your powers towards the dagger on the ground. Focusing the dark energy to leave your body. You groaned as you saw Stephen observe the situation and walk towards your arm.
"Keep focusing project any corrupted magic into the dagger."
Strange got to position and casted a cleansing spell on you. Helping to slip the dark energy off you. You felt your powers slipping away from you as the dark matter did.
When you felt no more corrupted magic you stopped as there was no more magic to give. Your knees felt weak and you tried to walk towards the closest bed but crumble and fell like a new born baby giraffe.
"I got you gurl." Sam caught you before you hit the ground.
"That was very stupid of you..." Strange said as he walked towards the sword glowing red and black. He formed a shield around it as it levitated towards you. "Here this won't get your hand burnt."
"Y/N, your hand. It.... it, that looks like a raisin." Thor winced.
"Thank you Thor, for that obvious comment." your groaned standing up, carrying the bubble with the dagger with your undwounded hand you walked towards the blonde girl. Who seemed to be breathing better as her vitals improved. You took a deep breathe to feel her aura and her health. Which was improving slowly, slower than it must, you looked up towards the body 2 beds down. "Strange what can be evaluated of this mans vitals..."
Strange walked over to the white haired man and hovered over him. Levitating his file to his hands and read through it. "This man is, hm...."
"Check the jacket , TVA ever heard of anything like it." Sam said tossing the jacket towards Strange. Strange looked at the jacket spread wide open hovering infront of him. "Yes the TVA, yes...... I- I actually never heard of them is this made up?"
"Well there goes our backup." Sam groaned plopping himself back on the bed.
"Well there isn't anything we can do. I'll take the dagger back to my room and we'll recon with Loki tomorow... Everyone eat, the food is here get some sleep, meet up first thing tomorow morning 7 am." You said walking out the medbay. "Friday keep an eye on our guest... update us if anything."
"Yes boss." the loud speaker said before the doors closed.
"A bit random but shes can be very attractive when she gets all demanding and stern." Yelena smirked.
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You placed the sphere down on your tv table plopping down on your bed. You winced as your injured hand grazed against the sheets, clenching it with your other hand forcing down another healing spell, nothing, the redness seemed to fade away for a moment but it still looked bad.
There came a sudden knock on the door. "Y/N??" "Go away strange..."
"Actually." Thor opened the door and gave you a sympathetic smile.
"Thor... Hows-
"Your hand, does it hurt- is it corrupted- how are you do you feel well?" Thor rushed over to your side and sat down on your bed. "Let me see maybe I can be of an assistance.'
"If I remembered correctly you failed enchantment and healing lessons set by your own mother." you pulled your hand away.
"I have improved..." Thor said crossing his arms.
"Of course you have." You stood up and walked to your closet to change into something more comfortable.
"I'm sorry..."
"What?"
"I can't go through this again."
"No one is forcing you to be on this assingment. You may return to new asgard and take a break."
"You should be as well."
"Thor the team needs atleast 1 person who knows Loki."
"What if they didn't." Thor said plainly. You turned towards him confused, but you knew where he was getting to. " What if but for one moment we were selfish , what if we were not heroes, mere asgardians who simply needs to be born, live, then die."
"Thor-."
"You were right..." Thor sobbed, tears forming around his eyes. "It's just like Ragnarok all over again." He stared at the ground.
You walk towards Thor and lifted his chin up. "What can I say to the brother who has been my strength for centuries ..." You sighed "I know with Asgard gone, our duties blur with the destinies we thought we could have lived. For once... I really have nothing to say."
"He looks so much like him." Thor laid his head against your stomach. "I couldn't bear myself to get to know him."
You sighed and stroked his hair back. "You need not talk to him unless absolutely necesarry."
"Falling inlove with him... Loving my brother seems to be the one thing I cannot prevent myself from doing." Thor choked out. "Even though I know the outcome I can't help a part of myself to hope."
"Lets eat... you always feel better after we eat. We shouldn't think about this right now." You brought Thor up. As he leaned forward and embraced you.
"I miss him."
"Me too."
"It's been hard..."
"I know." You sniffled as you stopped the moment and stared out your window. You looked up to him. "Shall we join the others for dinner? "
"We shall." he smiled down as you placed a soft kiss on his cheek.
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yintsukareta · 2 years
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Study Buddies! (Modern AU)
note: rating the characters as study buddies because currently projects and finals are filling my schedule 😅 doing this while i have to do something because procrastination
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Series Navigation
↚ You're on Part 1 →
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!!Warning!!: slight swearing
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Rating Genshin Characters as study buddies ft: Everyone in 2.6 (PART 1;Aether to Noelle)
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Aether
good at studying
in the top 5 of the school in grades
would explain things you dont get easily in his own understanding
or at least how he thinks is the easiest way to get to the answer
good at helping you review for tests
when you two are taking a break he'll tell you stories of his sister
or travelling stories
one of those rich kids who can go around the world
but his stories make you more interested than jealous
its like "wow" rather than "awww i wish i could do that too"
10/10 study buddy
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Albedo
in the top 3 of the school
hes a good study buddy but he can make things confusing
esp if you dont understand some terms
you really have to tell him you dont understand what hes saying if you wanna study well for this test
he will have an "easy" solution
at least in his eyes
his solution will look like he put like 500 random numbers/words into the question
when on break hes sketching
no small talk or anything
you have to try to initiate small talk yourself if you wanna try to get this man to talk
if he doesnt like the subject he'll zone out or just focus on sketching more
you have to get close to him to know what he likes to talk about
8/10 study buddy
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Amber
smart and energetic
but i think she'll have a hard time in math
if you dont understand math either.... uh oh
asks questions on a lot of numbers
shes trying her best okay
during breaks shes very energetic
will get you coffee
or if you dont like coffee, juice
talks about her friends
mostly eula tho
DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT SHE PROBABLY READS STUFF ALOUD
NOT THAT ITS ANNOYING ITS JUST CUTE
you study with eula but im continuing that on eula's part
8/10 study buddy
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Ayaka
SMART AF
in the top 5 of the school
notices when you're struggling and will help
SHES EASY TO UNDERSTAND
YOU CANT TELL ME SHES ONE OF THE BEST STUDY BUDDIES
in break she talks about ayato
or stuff that happens at home
she'll bring extra pens and pencils just incase
10/10 study buddy
very caring
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Ayato
smart
also in the top 5
quiet
"i noticed you're taking a long time there, do you need help?"
OH AND HE TEASES YOU SOMETIMES
this asshole i swear
HES GOOD AT EXPLAINING TOO THO
HE TEASES YOU AND IT MAKES YOU HATE HIM
BUT YOU CANT KEEP HATING HIM BECAUSE HES A GOOD STUDY BUDDY
you cant tell me he doesnt have 500 pens
OH AND HE BRINGS BOBA
IF YOU WANT ONE YOU HAVE TO JOIN HIM BEFORE GOING TO THE LIBRARY
during the break he tells stories of ayaka or thoma
9/10 study buddy
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Barbara
very smart and caring
def good at music
average on a lot of other subjects tho
dont get me wrong, shes a good study buddy
but she isnt that smart
if you're tired she'll insist on having a break
during breaks she'll talk about how amazing jean is
sometimes she cant make it to the library without getting barraged by fans
it will take you 3-5 minutes to finally study with barbara
quiet when studying
usually a question or two will break the silence
will explain things thoroughly though if you dont understand something
9/10 study buddy
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Beidou
average grades
you have to teach her
if you're not good at studying...
i think you're both failing the tests
sometimes she'll bring ningguang along
i'll explain more of ningguang on her part
when on breaks shes kinda loud
shes trying tho
she has a loud voice
what do you expect from the captain of the sports team
i dont know what sports but shes def a captain of a sports team
shes talking about ningguang or stuff she finds interesting/fun when on breaks
i think the librarian has gone to your table 2-3 times to tell beidou to quiet down
6/10 study buddy
dont fight me i love beidou
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Bennett
i like to imagine his bad luck also kinda follows in a modern au
its more of coincidences though not a curse
accidentally spills water on books...
or drops his pen a few times
HES PRETTY SMART THO
HES JUST TRYING HIS BEST
when on break hes talking about his misfortunate events or his friends
and then the lead of the pencil he was using breaks
he has to borrow the mechanical sharpener from the librarian
either that or you have to claim a table nearby the desk
the number of pencil lead which have broken on accident....
8/10 study buddy
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Chongyun
he'd probably look like the person you wouldn't expect to have over-average grades
but hes in the top 15 of the school or so
quiet and smart
kinda like aether but a bit more quiet
and also straightforward
when on break hes having a popsicle and its very quiet
either that or hes talking about the supernatural things hes seen on youtube
9/10 study buddy
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Diluc
you have to beg this man to study with you
VERY SMART
also very straightforward
and quiet
your breaks are very very quiet
try initiating small talk with this man but he wont talk much
if you ask a question he'll answer right away in a way you can understand tho
sure hes mr grumpy man but he has that side
if you get closer then he might buy you a coffee the next time you study together
9/10 study buddy
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Diona
you're the one helping diona
will deny that she needs help
then will struggle on her division equation
you have to convince her that you can help
shy but will listen closely
well shes not just shy shes a tsundere
if she has a liking to you then she might make you a drink
ITS NOT GONNA BE STRANGE I PROMISE
quiet in breaks
she wont talk even if you try
5/10 study buddy
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Ei
SHE LOOKS SMART
BUT SHE NEEDS HELP
in math
in science
i guess thats the two subjects
no wait also history
shes quiet and learns easily
during breaks she doesnt really talk either
she'll just listen intently when you talk
but she does ask questions if she doesnt understand something
7/10 study buddy
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Eula
shes smart
its just that when she tries to explain something its confusing
shes not quiet but neither is she loud
during breaks..... she just tries to understand how to help you understand her
you have to have a few meetings until you understand her
either that or you have to ask help from amber to help
OKAY BUT AMBER SOMETIMES TAGS ALONG WITH EULA
WILL TRY TO EXPLAIN WHAT EULA SAYS FOR YOU
AFTER A FEW MEETINGS WITH BOTH OF THEM YOU CAN UNDERSTAND EULA
IT WILL TAKE AWHILE TO UNDERSTAND HER
when i mean awhile i mean, you both have to study together at least 10 times
7/10 study buddy
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Fischl
SAME AS EULA BUT SHE CAN EASILY BREAK CHARACTER
THATS IF YOU TALK TOO CASUALLY
SHE ALSO PROBABLY READS OUT LOUD
AND THAT ALSO CAUSES HER TO BREAK CHARACTER
YOU CANT TELL ME OTHERWISE THAT THIS HAPPENS A LOT
during breaks she looks for fiction books
or she talks about her bird Oz
if not Oz then shes talking about a fiction book she recently borrowed
6/10 study buddy
i would give her a 4 but in breaks she would probably have interesting talks
i love myself some fiction okay but its diff for everyone
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Ganyu
ONE OF THOSE SMART BUT SLEEP DEPRIVED PEOPLE
you will never see her without a coffee
if you do then she probably forgot to get one
or she finished it already
but if she forgot then expect her to fall asleep a lot
let her sleep for awhile
she'll wake up on her own
she can explain stuff well
shes constantly doing something
you cant tell me she isnt helping you with your hw after she did her own
IF YOU CAN DO IT EASILY SHE'LL JUST WATCH YOU
SHES VERY NICE BECAUSE SHE'LL POINT OUT YOUR MISTAKES ON THE HW
WHEN THAT HAPPENS YOU'RE ALSO GETTING GOOD GRADES
NOT JUST GOOD ITS PERFECT
BUY HER A COFFEE OR TWO NEXT TIME AS A THANK YOU
during breaks its quiet
she'll rest her eyes for awhile
10/10 study buddy
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Gorou
hes smart in a few subjects
math and history probably
best partner for reviweing history you cant tell me otherwise
HES GOOD AT EXPLAINING STUFF
studying together will last from the afternoon to like the evening
he studies VERY hard
if you just leave him there you'll probably feel bad
so you have to stay with him
during breaks he tells stories about his pets or random experiences
or he gets a coffee
breaks r kinda short tho
9/10 study buddy
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Hu Tao
SHE MAY NOT LOOK LIKE IT BUT SHES IN THE TOP 20
def smart in history and english
SHES KINDA LOUD BUT LIKE
SHES ALSO VERY FUN TO BE AROUND
"want me to explain that for you?"
SHE CAN DO ESSAYS
THEY'RE OKAY BUT NOT THE BEST
BRINGS ALONG XIANGLING SOMETIMES
if you're very focused on something she has a small chance of trying to scare you
just for funsies
but if you get annoyed by that she'll stop
during breaks.....
she'll talk about her small business
she def has a small business
a family one of course
i dont know what the business is about but she def has one
or she talks about funny stories with her friends
OH AND SHE TALKS ABOUT FACTS OTHERS WONT TALK ABOUT
LIKE HOW CHONGYUN CANT STAND SPICY FOOD
OR XINGQIU DOESNT LIKE CARROTS
7/10 study buddy
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Itto
you,, you have to teach him
if you were expecting him to be the one to teach you
you're out of luck
LOUD
LIKE EVERYONE IN THE LIBRARY WILL COME TO UR TABLE AT LEAST ONCE TO TELL ITTO TO QUIET DOWN
hes smart in history....
...of sports
you cant tell me he doesnt like sports
OR ANYTHING RELATING TO PE
breaks? nah those extend to quitting studying
you decide to take a break but then itto makes it so that both of you just dont study anymore
talks about his friends
OR HIS HOBBIES
HE'LL TALK ABOUT HIS FAVORITE GAME
WHICH IS A FIGHTING GAME
3/10 study buddy
dont fight me this is rating them as study buddies not in general
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Jean
top 5
dont tell me im wrong
ALSO LIKE GANYU
BUT LESS SLEEP DEPRIVED
she stays until midnight then sleeps
i mean at least she gets more sleep
coffee addict
will ALWAYS have a coffee
you will never see her without a coffee
its just illegal
good at explaining stuff
SHES ONE OF THOSE TYPES THO WILL GIVE U A REVIEWER
LIKE MAKES UP QUESTIONS
SHE DOES THIS TO BARBARA SO SHE DOES IT TO YOU
during breaks shes quiet
reading a book or the news
or replying to her 98 missed messages from lisa
initiate small talk and she'll go along
shes also probably in the student council
fuck it not probably, definitely
she also has to deal with that
other than her now 103 missed messages from lisa
she answers the other students in the student council gc
their 56 messages
the second its over 70 or so its very very important
10/10 study buddy
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Kaeya
AYATO BUT WORSE
I DONT KNOW IF YOU CAN CONSIDER THIS AS WORSE
BECAUSE HE FLIRTS WITH YOU
IF HE WANTS YOU TO WRITE SOMETHING HE HAS HIS HAND ON URS AS U WRITE
YOU CANT TELL ME HE DOESNT FLIRT WITH EVERYONE
HES VERY VERY SMART THO
DURING BREAKS HE TALKS ABOUT WHAT INTERESTS HIM
TRIES TO KNOW YOUR INTERESTS
ALSO FLIRTS INBETWEEN HIS QUESTIONS
GOOD STUDY BUDDY
IF YOU GET EMBARRASSED EASILY
I THINK HE'S DOWN BY ONE POINT
IMO HES A 10/10 IF YOU DONT CONSIDER THE FLIRTING
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Kazuha
SMART
IN THE TOP 10
GOOD AT ENGLISH
MAKES ESSAYS AND STUFF EASILY AND ITS SO GOOD
AND HE DOESNT GET BORED EASILY
hes making poems/haikus in a break
you can initiate small talk with him
hes very friendly
will give you a coffee or something
10/10 study buddy
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Keqing
now studying won't be the problem
shes good at explaining
and shes very smart
its convincing her to join you in studying
OH AND SHE DOESNT BELIEVE IN BREAKS
IF YOU WANT A BREAK YOU HAVE TO ASK 10 TIMES
i see her as a coffee person too
tell me im wrong i dare you /j
7/10 study buddy tho
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Klee
SHES A FAST LEARNER
SHES CAN BE LOUD BUT THATS JUST BECAUSE SHES NEVER BEEN IN A LIBRARY BEFORE
she'll be told to quiet down and she will follow
she isnt as loud anymore
DURING HER BREAK SHE TALKS ABOUT DODOCO
OR DRAWS
10/10 STUDY BUDDY
SHES ADORABLE TOO, FREE 1 POINT /J
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Kokomi
smart
you cant tell me she doesnt have an itinerary for studying already
likes to plan out stuff
will not mind if you have to extend one part of studying a bit longer since you dont understand
shes probably also in the student council
will try to answer the others in the student council while teaching you
-20 energy
during breaks she reads a book so.....
+40 energy
she doesnt talk much in breaks
8/10 study buddy
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Kujou Sara
keqing but more stubborn
she does take breaks tho
i'll give her that
shes okay at explaining
during breaks she doesnt talk
prefers to check social media
she probably has twitter
8/10 study buddy
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Lisa
KAEYA BUT MOMMY
"do you want to sit on my lap, cutie?"
SHES SHAMELESSLY DOING THIS
AND SHES REALLY GOOD AT STUDYING TOO
DURING BREAKS SHE TALKS WITH YOU
TRIES TO GET TO KNOW UR INTERESTS
BUT ITS MORE OF BECAUSE SHES CURIOUS
TALKS ABOUT A GOOD BOOK SHE READ A FEW HOURS AGO
10/10 STUDY BUDDY
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Lumine
SMART
SHE DOESNT LOOK LIKE IT BUT SHE IS
AND SHES GOOD AT EXPLAINING STUFF
BASICALLY AETHER
i mean they're siblings what do i have to say
during breaks she talks about aether, more esp his embarrassing moments
talks about her travels but aether's embarrassing moments r gonna be the one mainly talked about
if she enjoys being with you shes getting you a drink
10/10 study buddy
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Mona
average grades
you have to share books
she isn't rich enough to get the books
during breaks she's talking about space
or anything of the sort
or of course, zodiacs
she cant buy coffee because shes broke so she gets you water
if she can at least
but thats rare
so if she gets you something then she does have a liking to you
6/10 study buddy
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Ningguang
SHES SMART
but also quiet
she won't talk other than to explain something to you
attends to your questions immediately
gets dragged along by beidou
thats probably how she got to study with you in the first place
shes patient with you two
despite the library glaring at beidou
during breaks she talks to beidou
beidou def brings u into the convo tho
10/10 study buddy
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Noelle
SHES SO NICE
SHE COULD BE THE ONE TEACHING YOU OR YOU COULD BE TEACHING HER
EITHER WAY SHES VERY NICE
SHE'LL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS
IS VERY VERY VERY PATIENT WITH YOU
BRINGS YOU A WATER OR SO IF YOU NEED IT
"should we take a break? you seem tired."
IF YOU'RE TEACHING HER
SHE'LL ASK QUESTIONS
AND WILL UNDERSTAND IF YOU CANT ANSWER THEM
SHES SMART THO SO I DONT THINK SHE'LL NEED TO
shes smart but sadly not in the top 20
OKAY BUT DURING BREAKS
SHE BRINGS U LIKE COFFEE OR TEA
OR GETS BOOKS
WILL GO ALONG WELL IF YOU INITIATE SMALL TALK
10/10 study buddy
shes so nice
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note: PART 1 SINCE ITS VERY VERY LONG AND IM GONNA CUT IT INTO 2 PARTS ITS BEEN 4 DAYS IM SORRY
Masterlist
Do NOT repost my work without permission.
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warriorfujoshi · 1 month
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ok so here's the essay:
ok so you know that hong lu has serious family issues, because not only of how he talks about how family "betrays" each other at every turn and also how his family had to go through intense physical training along with how shelter he was throughout his entire life, which is supported by his literary canon of his family having ties on him, which is referenced throughout his other identities of being tied to duty from his family
and so, LCB hong lu specifically, who is still tied to his family, has experienced the world less than others and probably doesn't have that many connections, while feeling sad and restricted as an asset of his family (see the land of illusions portrait), probably deals with loneliness as well, as well as feeling tied up to an extent which is why he's so happy in his job right now
the thing is though, he is wilfully ignoring his issues, and his holds intellect on the area (as seen in canto 4 where he is able to identify that yi sang is crying out for help) and therefore, to an extent knows how he feels but chooses not to say it, but to what extent is unknown
now for the comic
specifically, let's start with the premise and the way it is set up, the issue being he is approached by dante and asked a very interesting question, and one that could reveal a lot but doesn't
and how he responds in kind, at least aloud to dante (i assume the last page isn't being said) is also very vague but very concerning, which is absolutely in line with how he speaks about such issues
now we move to page 2, the entire page's background is in black, which makes you focus on him, and specifically we see the close ups on how he reacts with things, laughing and sort of thinking about it, almost waving it off despite knowing and dropping a larger bomb than we expect which is very in line for his character. both to brush it off and to laugh at it
the close up to his face, gives away nothing, it is just a smile at the end of the day, and he responds to most things by smiling as he always does, rarely having any other expressions
though paired with the line "maybe i was feeling a little lonely?" hits differently. the line implies much, as most of his lines do, but never really reveals the heart of the matter which is told in the next page, we are meant to linger on it and figure out what it means much like dante (granted we get a reveal later on but not at the moment)
but specifically, by saying so that it is what it is reveals that in such a way, he is in fact feeling the effects of things and how his life has been and how he's been feeling all this while to the point of coping in such a manner and not telling (and still not telling) anyone
WAHHH YES EXACTLY!!! YOU GET IT… i dont draw comics very often, so im not very well-versed in using composition and panelling to convey my intended meaning… so im really happy you could tell what i wanted to say! 🥹
i put a lot of thought into the 2nd page!! it makes me happy that you analysed it so deeply :DDD
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my horrific editing of my own art aside this is some of what i was trying to convey when i drew it!!!
thank you so so much for being so interested in my art 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕❣️❣️❣️❣️
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westmansion · 9 months
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just talking excuse me/
im seeing TOO MUCH lately about living and becoming who you want to be etc and i have so much planned if i could only get the push i need and im making the efforts to get it (medication that works, plans to move out etc etc) but i still feel like im just to passive about everything even in regard to getting help
like big plan no1 is medication to actually get me focused and to regain the ability to just DO STUFF cause i havent been able to just create or enjoy things normally in years because im just so out of it, its not a case of expectations anymore or worrying about skill its a literal block mental or otherwise and theres really no other answer at this point because its beyond me
big plan 2 is simply finally making my neocities becuase i can feel that making that place to finally put out all the stuff thats in my head will do so much for me even if its just fan stuff at first but i can feel that it will sincerely help me regain some portion of my life lost to being too worried about my art being bad and being embarrassed to talk etc etc etc, i just genuinely cannot get past the first step cause i cannot focus long enough, theres plenty of refs and help for coding and the like but its just me being unable to focus and process it and sticking to it that has me stuck
ANYWAYS im not entirely sure why im writing all this or who im talking to it might be this new "shift" cause the internets falling apart and i feel bad about potential friends i couldve had or things ive couldve done, none of its really lost forever but it is still a significant period of time that ive lost because ive just become passive and nothing else
saying aloud to anyone or everyone i apologize for being just so passive towards everything and everyone all of these years, its my own fault for not doing a thing, me being stuck is no one elses problem but my own but i cant deny that its the reason for it, i sat for too long thinking "once i get there then i can actually be myself" as if having something to show for myself is required to be a person, planning on being a person and actively engaging only AFTER having something worth showing to others isnt how anything works, ive never been uninterested in anyone who gave me a chance ive cared this whole time and i'll miss them forever but i cant blame anyone but myself if they up and leave, i never did enough on my end and thats on me
again idk who im talking to and im not expecting to be forgiven (forgiven by who?? idk whats going on lel) but im just saying it aloud in some sort of way, im working on it and will always be working on it
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witchyykitten · 1 year
Note
Hi! I need an advice. I successfully manifested new friends and connections after long time of being lonely and specific people not noticing me. It’s great but I feel like I am still that lonely pathetic spiteful person that I was before. They treat me right, yet I don’t match the energy, and always feel like this won’t last long, that they’ll abandon me or just pity me.
Any ideas on how to start living accordingly to my new happy reality? Why do I not fully believe it happened?
hi baby!!! i think youre used to loneliness and sadness and just cant accept that u can be truly happy, youre an overthinker and engaging in self sabotaging behavior, u need to work with your self-esteem ♡
if youre thinking that accepting all the negative aspects of yourself and your life sounds difficult, youre right!!! its not easy to accept the things that we desperately want to change abt ourselves
🖤 i have 5 self-acceptance exercises for you 🖤
1. use affirmations
(repeat these statements to yourself, acknowledge and absorb them)
• "i deserve happiness"
• "i deserve wonderful people in my life"
• "i love myself"
• “im a good and caring person and deserve to be treated with respect”
• “im capable of achieving success in my life”
• “there are people who love me and will be there for me when i need them”
2. do a self-acceptance worksheet
the point of this worksheet is to focus on the good things abt yourself (the things you like, appreciate, implement in your life, etc) completing it can help you start to open yourself up to the good aspects of yourself instead of focusing solely on the bad
list what you honor and appreciate abt yourself (gifts, talents, skills, and abilities)
some questions to consider while making your list:
• what do i appreciate abt who i am?
• what are my strengths?
• what do my friends appreciate abt me?
• what do i like abt others? which of these characteristics do i have?
• how would people who love me describe me?
when you have completed it, read it aloud while looking in a mirror
(begin each statement with the words)
- “y.n. i love your…”
- "i love my..."
3. practice relaxed awareness
close your eyes for a minute, and instead of pushing thoughts away or trying to focus on your breath, just softly notice your thoughts and feelings and body, you might see negative thoughts or emotions AND THATS OK!!! just notice them, watch them, dont try to turn them into positive thoughts or push them away (do this practice for 5 minutes a day)
4. be grateful
wake up in the morning and think abt what youre grateful for, include things abt yourself, if you failed at something, what abt that failure are you grateful for? if you arent perfect, what abt your imperfection can you be grateful for? feel free to journal abt these things each day
5. separate from your emotions
when youre feeling negative emotions, see them as a separate event, not a part of you, and just watch them, remove their power over you by thinking of them, not as commandments you must follow or believe in, but rather passing objects, like a leaf floating past you in the wind, the leaf doesnt control you and neither do negative emotions
♡ sweetheart, remember that u deserve the whole world ♡
♡ im so proud of u, youre amazing, beautiful and wonderful person ♡
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whatsnothappening · 2 years
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Part 2.
I mean I could go on. Have I mentioned I ramble? So I “wake up” and freak out and then get my shit back together and sit down have a moment and realize it’s okay and that everyone goes through this and that I’m not alone. I go through my life enjoy every day. Have my ups and downs. But then go back through that almost trance… that’s what I want to call it really. I think my struggle with that is, is I don’t really asses my emotions during that time. And that is important to do. I mean there is other things that I know have brought me to this point of having those graphic dreams and thoughts. My relationship with my mother isn’t amazing. I don’t believe we are meant to live with each other as two adults. I appreciate her for letting me and my husband live with her. We are struggling severely financially. Most of it is just bad decisions. But it’s nothing we can’t pull ourselves out of. I notice I didn’t mention her while talking about my support group. Now it’s not that she doesn’t support me. I know she does. She is there for me if I need help. But we are two a like but also way too different and we just clash. So I feel I can’t talk to her when I need to reach out. There’s times where i have hateful feelings toward her. No body wants that with their mother. And it makes me feel selfish. This is her brightest time in her life. She is in her 50s. She has aged gracefully. I think she is beautiful. She has found a man she loves and is able to get her out of the house and feel beautiful and confident. The man is a bit odd. But he makes her happy and that is fine with me. I haven’t had a chance to really connect with him in the past 3 years and I feel that aids in my feelings of distance with her. My father has found a beautiful women who cares for him and puts up with a lot. And I have really connected with her and I feel that has brought me and my dad closer as well. I mean Im fond of my moms boyfriend. He is nice guy. Just quiet. It has been very hard to break his shell. I don’t believe I have even cracked it to be honest. I feel he has a side of my mom now that I am not able to see anymore. I had it when I was a kid. But I’m not familiar with that side of her anymore really. I don’t believe she sees that or realizes it. And she doesn’t need to. Because she needs to focus on herself. Like I said I feel like this is her time to shine. She is already letting me and my husband take a lot of space in her home. We have four dogs as well. And it’s a ranch house, so I mean we take up a lot of space. I just feel selfish having hatred toward her sometimes because I know she is doing a lot for me and my new little family. But I can’t help the frustration. I want my own space, I need to work toward it. I want my own independence, I need toward it. But it’s hard for me to cope with the fact that those things are something I’m not going to have right at this moment. And I put it on her. I will say she can be very overwhelming and controlling. She has always been a hover parent. I wasn’t even aloud to use the dishwasher or laundry room as a child. I don’t know if it’s she didn’t trust me, or if it made her feel accomplished as a parent that she cared and provided for me in every way possible. I appreciate it, but it has honestly set me up for failure in the beginning of my adult life. I was very embarrassed when I started living with my husband and had to reveal that I had no idea how a washer and dryer worked. I didn’t know there was special soap for a dish washer. I was horrible at folding clothes. I really am blessed to have him. He has honestly helped me grow in more ways than I believe a significant other should. But to shorten this part.. my mother is a big support system… but our relationship is not great. And it won’t be until I leave. It’s sucks. But I have to deal with it for now. It’s not forever. Now I know I have spoken so highly of my husband. He is truly amazing. But everyone has there negatives. I feel that’s a harsh way to say it but it’s true. I have my own and I know it. What I’m spouting out about is a huge negative-
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listening to the first podcast i’ve ever heard today for a class assignment and i absolutely cannot focus on this
how the hell do you guys do this and tell who’s who???? there are So Many voices that all sound vaguely similar and also what am i supposed to do with my eyes??? i’ve made it 20 minutes and am about to just give up and read the transcript because i have no clue what any of that was about
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thewangshuinn · 3 years
Note
Hi, glad to see you're doing well! For the gamer!Xiao hcs, how about him being a Genshin streamer or just a regular gamer, and genshin!reader is his favorite character?
THATS SO CUTE ASDGFKLDGH MY TIME HAS COME
alright going to scream with this one
I have to update my masterlist with these soon
he's probably one to focus more on weapons and strategy than characters, imo
he's not a metaslave, I think, because he's quick to figure it out on his own
he doesn't really follow the pity system, but sometimes he'll wish on the limited banners if he wants specific constellations
i'm not going to automatically assume you're a five star in case you're like me and preferring to be a much-beloved four star (think benny) instead
you're worth all the stars in my heart, reader
anyway
if you are a five star, you're likely one of his first
either way, he really likes your kit
if it's something like polearm or sword or anything like his in-game kit, he'll enjoy playing it because it feels like you're helping him out
rather than feeling like he's controlling you, he feels like you're working together
if it's something else, he'll like it because it gives him a chance to learn your skills and work with you
the challenge helps get him closer to you
he doesn't like to talk about it but he's really really attached to you and you only
he could honestly stare at you for hours
sometimes he'd take a party of just you to your favorite spot in-game (or perhaps his) and just kinda gaze at you
he has gotten teary-eyed because you don't really exist and can't give him that cute smile or put crystalflies in his hair with a soft and loving touch yea im projecting what are you going to do? cry about it?
he loves your voice in every dub but most likely uses that of his native language solely so that he can agree with you or react to your weather lines
he thinks your idles are really cute and he hates accidentally interrupting you
he loves listening to your voicelines
he wants to learn everything about you
literally he raced up friendship ranks
he got sad once he unlocked all your lines
he uses your namecard and pfp
he absolutely swooned when you said ascension and friendship lines aloud
is constantly promising to never leave you benched ever
literally mentally apologizes when he has to take you off the team
same
when you die he fights harder to avenge you with the other characters
you've managed to worm your way into his heart, and eventually you're constantly on his mind
he initially thought it was for strategy
now it's just lore stuff
when he's upset, he thinks of you and how you might react
he's constantly searching for you x reader fics because he wants to feel close to you
hes also constantly getting frustrated because he disagrees with others' characterization because his idea of you is so specific
eventually he'll take a step back and realize that his specific idea of you might not have been right? hes a lil stubborn we know this
his friends tend to tease him about it and he hates it
whatever the case, he loves you a lot and he hates to go anywhere without you
he's grateful every day that he was able to get you and start this journey
and perhaps, somewhere in the world of the game, you are too
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lucky-peoqle · 3 years
Text
the accidental 400mg edible | ted nivison
requested ? : yes !
"ok ok so hear me out on this request, so we all remember ted and the iconic 400mg nerd rope incident? what if he gave his girlfriend (another streamer?) one too, so now everyone has to deal with these two kids high out of their minds and like it would probably be so cute and fluffy with them trying to help each other ride out their highs (ya know after the initial panic) much love!" -@driverpicksthe-music
warnings : swearing, drug use, throwing up
pairings : ted nivison x reader
pronouns : she/her
a/n : im literally 15 and have never been high, bare with me i beg 🙏🗣 *= your channel name !
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it was an accident, really it was.
ted just thought they were normal nerd ropes, so when he brought himself and you one from the array of snacks siting on the misfits counter, he didn't think anything of it.
you guys were signing shit for youtooz, half of them already high because it was going to be a long night of signing. you knew your way around high ted, he got hungry.
he wasn't paying attention to what he was grabbing from the kitchen counter, so when he saw the nerd ropes, it reminded him of his childhood.
he just had to taste them again.
and so he did, making you take one as well.
so the two of you ate the nerd ropes, you eating a full one while ted... he ate one and a half.
everything was going fine until you heard someone from the misfits let out a loud laugh.
"... what?" ted let out, a confused complexion rest on his face.
"dude, you and y/n just ate 400mgs worth of edibles!" swagger said through laughs, trying to catch his breath.
your face dropped, "you're kidding?"
swagger shook his head, handing you a wrapper.
you took it swiftly from his grasp, reading the print, "shit!"
you turned to ted, "babe, we're fucked."
y'know they thought they would be fine, thinking they didn't have anything to do that for the rest of the night.... or so they thought.
ted shook his head, "don't worry, we don't have anything else to do, do we?"
you thought for a second, until it came back to you, "we have dinner with my fucking parents."
cooper let out a loud laugh watching ted's eyes widened, "shit, we do!"
so here you are now, a few phone calls with your parents later, sitting on the bathroom floor, fingers down your throat, a bottle of water next to you, toby holding your hair.
you sat there, throwing up some purple concoction, since your nerd rope was purple.
"how's ted?" you look up at toby.
"right now you need to focus on getting this shit out of your system and yourself," she chuckled with a smile.
once you thought you had most of it out of your system, you washed you face off and walked into the living room, all eyes on you.
"how ya feelin?" schlatt asked from the couch.
"everything is started to hurt and i'm cold," you groan, turning your attention to ted, who sat uncomfortably on a chair, clad in a hoodie you didn't recognize.
"yeah, i feel like i'm dying," your boyfriend chuckled, tapping his water bottle on the side of the chair, "i would cuddle you but my bones feel like rubber bands."
you shook your head, walking over to him and placing a kiss atop his head, "i'll kiss it better."
"can you guys... not?" you heard travis laugh awkwardly.
ted glared at him playfully, "you're just jealous i have a hot girlfriend."
you giggled, taking a seat next to his chair, trying to find a position that didn't make your bones feel like they were being crushed or that made them feel like jello.
"have i told you you look gorgeous tonight," you heard ted giggle from beside you.
"no, but now you have," you smile.
schlatt let out a sigh, "god, they're so fucking sappy!"
the position you were sat in was starting to make you feel like hell, so with a groan you changed positions again, "jesus christ, my body is on fire."
you laid flat on the ground, "hmm, this is nice. much better than sitting."
"is it really?" ted asked, getting up and moving to an empty couch, laying down, "shit, it is."
hours passed, it was now around four or three and you felt a tiny bit better, enough to swat schlatt away from your face with his stupid back massager that he was now patronizing ted with.
you watched at ted sent out meaningless threats, laughing your ass off.
somewhere around five, you must have fallen alseep, because all you can remember is throwing up with ted (couple goals), a "cleansing barf" as he put it and laughing at him as he asked around about skittles while you munched on some chips.
you woke the next morning, still high out of your mind, looking at ted, who was already awake.
"were you watching me sleep," you giggle, "fuckin creep."
"i'm still really high," he said flatly.
you nodded, "so am i," you sigh.
yeah, the two of you didn't really do anything the next two days except lay in bed, laugh at nothing and everything, the rest of the lunch club and the misfits checking in on the two of you every now and then, asking if you need anything.
months past, now you sat in ted's living room. he had just uploaded his story time video about so said accident that he asked you to help him with, ted running in and taking a seat next to you.
"look at what cooper just sent me," he laughed, handing you his phone.
you took it out of his hand, looking at the youtube link cooper had sent him.
"ted nivison and y/c/n* being high as balls but cute asf for 6 minutes straight," you read aloud, letting a laugh slip.
"you wanna watch it?" he asked from next to you.
"duh."
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blinder-secrets · 4 years
Text
Count For Me
tommy x anxious reader, 2164 words
a/n: i’m not gonna say the reader is having a panic attack specifically, more that they’re experiencing a lot of anxiety, so take that with a pinch of salt pls. i’m not suggesting this is how all anxiety feels or that it can be alleviated like this every time, im just basing it on my own experiences so enjoy!
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You’re sat in the kitchen, or rather, the stairwell to the kitchens. You had every intention of making it there, of sitting at the large oak table in the fore-room, and having tea. Bread. Of letting Frances relax and serving yourself. But, instead, you’re on the last step down, legs bouncing on the balls of your feet.
It can only be described as fretting, incessant worry; your mind is agonising over things already done, over what’s to come next. It isn’t guns, or business, or family arguments that’s got you. It’s something invisible. Unknown, but biting away regardless. It’s sitting on the step and thinking about everything, and nothing — it’s losing yourself entirely, feeling the hand tighten around your throat, the dread, the weight of it in your chest. You sit and you feel afraid. After all you’ve seen in the world, all you’ve been through with Tommy. It’s your own head that works itself against you now, your own commentary that rots your mind in the quiet moments. Fuck. If you said it aloud they’d laugh you out the room. If you told Pol she’d say you were sick, that you needed air and spirits, and none of this Shelby wreckage to pull you down.
‘In the kitchen, Sir.’
Oh, Christ, Tommy’s home. You hear him, direct and toward where you're hiding. From his footsteps, it seems like he’s coming from the opposite wing, so he’ll make it into the kitchen before you ever did.
He calls your name through the hallway. It bounces off the cool tiles.
‘I’m here, Tommy,’ you say back in a false tone; you dread him finding you more than the rest of it.  
You’ve got maybe a minute to collect yourself, but from the way your feet are sinking through the stone of the floor beneath you, that’s not going to happen. He arrives in the kitchen, says your name again. He can’t see you from where he is.
‘On the stairs,’ you tell him.
Once he’s in front of you, your energy spikes. It’s easier to ignore the feeling when you’re with him. He tucks it away for you, somewhat, just a bit. ‘What is it?’ he asks, shaking his head slightly, his lips parted. A cigarette leaks smoke from between his fingers. He’s taken his coat off, but the jacket’s still there. Still dressed like he could leave again at any moment.
‘Nothing.’ You smile. ‘Are you back now?’
‘For now,’ he answers. He steps forward, places the back of his hand against your forehead. ‘Are you sick?’
‘No. Just wanted to sit somewhere.’
He doesn’t believe you, he knows you too well. You still your knees but they’re bouncing again before you can offer an explanation.
‘Tell me,’ he insists, clueless.
Where do you start? What could you possibly say that would make sense. I was going to make lunch, Tommy, but then I sat down here and I couldn’t get up again. ‘Nothing,’ you repeat, pausing to force a swallow. ‘I don’t know, really.’
He takes a drag. On the exhale, he offers the smoke to you, silent but willing to help. You shake your head; it’s not your habit, it doesn’t calm you like it does with him.
‘Has something happened?’ he asks. He’s patient, waiting for you to give him a way in, prepared to go slow when you need it.
‘No, nothing’s happened.’ Nothing you knew of. You were doing fine, going about the day like normal, and then suddenly you weren’t. It had already swamped you before you realised it was coming. ‘It’s just my head,’ you say, forcing the words over a breath that hadn’t quite made it. ‘I think it’s out to get me, Tom.’
He sighs. His lips pour smoke onto the tiles as he looks down. Another stress for him: you sat on his shoulders like the rest of it did, weighed him down without meaning to. You feel yourself rock forward, your head pulling into your chest, like there’s string attached from your chin to your heart and now it’s constricting. ‘Sorry,’ you pant, though you may have said it in your head. It could’ve been a thought amongst the sea and you wouldn’t have known. Sorry for the stress, Tommy, sorry for it all.
‘Hey,’ he says, repeating it firmly after a pause. ‘Hey. Look at me.’ His hand goes to your face, fingers leading your chin upwards until your gaze is on him. ‘Whatever it is, it’s just noise, alright? Just shit in the trough.’
Your lids drop a fraction. ‘Tommy…’
‘No.’ He shakes his head. ‘You’re here, with me, right, in the kitchen. Don’t let it pull you under.’
You don’t want to. You’re scanning him, looking for something to ground you, the gold of his cufflink, the button of his waistcoat. Nothing sticks. You’re trying to focus but it’s splitting your attention again. Filling your head with the noise, the pull, the drag. ‘I think I’m going mad,’ you say. Your head’s so tight you can’t make sense of it.
His brows draw together. You focus on the crease in the skin between them. ‘What is it?’ he asks. ‘Eh? What’s worrying you so much?’
‘I don’t know,’ you answer honestly. It sounds like a plea but it’s all you can give him.  
You feel like a horse on the track; everything’s past you, behind you, loud in the stands and betting against you. There’s a worry to your left but it’s overtaken by the one on your right. So much at once, too often and too fast to know which is the biggest problem, which is the one causing the damage. If you could pluck something out, you would. If you could tell him, it’d be the first thing you did. There isn’t an answer to his question that doesn’t just make it worse — the more you try to put a name to it, or explain, the harder it gets to breathe. You can feel your heartbeat in your wrists.
Swearing, you drop your head again like it’s a lead weight, letting his fingertips drag up your cheek with the motion. ‘I can’t tell,’ you say weakly. ‘Feels like I’m drowning.’ 
The ring you’re wearing sits loose on your index finger; you spin it around the knuckle nervously, forcing a shallow breath each time the ruby completes a loop. If you look at him again you might cry. He didn’t ask for this, he didn’t know what to do with you anymore than you knew yourself.
Clearing his throat once, Tommy puts the cigarette between his lips and bends to grab you with both hands. He takes you by the elbows, thumbs tight on your arms, and pulls you to your feet before you have room to complain. You try to avoid his gaze, but his head ducks and chases your eyes until you give in.
‘Listen,’ he starts. He takes the cigarette out, blows the smoke away before he talks. ‘I won’t let you, alright? No-one’s drowning here.’ He looks certain, dedicated, his eyes dig through yours and back into the noise. ‘There’s nothing going on in there that we can’t sort. Okay?’
You want to believe him, so you nod. The next breath you take swells your chest into his.
‘Come here,’ he says briskly, pulling you after him as he walks you deeper into the kitchen. ‘When we were in France—stand there.’ You’re put by the table. He goes to the nearest drawer, pilfering through the silverware as he continues, ‘When we were in France, they told us we had to count.’
‘Count?’
‘To still our hands.’ He turns, pushing the drawer shut with his hip, and files through the forks he’s now holding. ‘Bullets, cards. Saw John counting his teeth once.’
You blink like it’ll help you listen. Everything he’s saying is going in, but bouncing back again. It rattles in your ear canal like coins down a well.
‘Here,’ he says, offering them to you. ‘Count them.’
You hesitate. Then he grabs your wrist, sets your palm straight, and pours the cutlery into it.
‘Go on.’
Mumbling an agreement, you turn to the table and put the first fork onto the wood. One. Two. You hope he doesn’t notice the slight shake along your fingers, the clumsiness as you pass forks from one hand to the other.
‘Do it out loud,’ he guides, as he stands beside you. He exhales, dragging it out and pushing the smoke over your shoulder; you’d forgotten he even had one lit.
‘Three,’ you say. ‘Four.’  
All those cigarettes. Lips barely his unless there’s one between them. They’ll get him one day, you think. The cough will get worse and then it’ll be you, on your own in this big house, you looking after Charlie, you with the ache and the grief and the silence.
‘Stop thinking,’ he chides. ‘Count.’
‘Five, six, seven.’ You sigh. The forks clatter on top of one another. ‘Eight, nine. This is stupid, Tommy. Ten.’ You turn to him, expectant of something else, something more helpful.
He just raises his eyebrows, gesturing for you to pick them up again. ‘Now do it over.’
‘Again?’
He nods. The cigarette is extinguished, flicked to the floor and crushed between his sole and the tile. ‘You do it again, and again,’ he lists, ‘until it feels like you can breathe.’
‘Really?’
‘Really.’
It takes four rounds of it before your chest loosens; four tens, over and over, forks placed down and picked up again as you count. He stands in silence the whole time, his hands in his pockets, his eyes on the table. How he doesn’t tire of it, you don’t know. He clears his throat occasionally but doesn’t say anything until you break the rhythm.
‘I think it’s worked,’ you mumble, taking care as you set the last fork down. ‘I feel better.’
It’s not all gone, but you feel calmer. Stiller. Your hands aren’t as jittery and the room feels big again, cold and empty and utilitarian.
He sighs, heavily, thankfully. The noise loud and partnered with a rough tone. ‘Alright,’ he says. He clicks into motion, pulling his hands free and turning to you so that he can bracket them around your face. His fingers are rough, warm, grounding. The rings stamp your cheeks, cold like ice. ‘What did I say, eh? Nothing we couldn’t sort.’
You smile limply and put a hand to his wrist. ‘Thank-you, Tommy.’
You hadn’t expected him to break through it, to make you pause. Breathe. It’s usually the other way around, you calming him. You sifting through the muck. It had never crossed your mind that it would work in reverse.
‘Next time,’ he says quietly, ‘you tell me.’ His chin dips a fraction, blue eyes laced with intent. ‘You tell me as soon as it get’s too much, alright?’
‘Okay,’ you promise, nodding between his palms. ‘Sorry.’
His lip tweaks slightly. ‘What have you got to be sorry for?’ he asks. Then he tilts up to kiss your forehead and, pulling back, utters ‘my silly girl’ under his breath.
You can’t smile. The question almost loses you again. You have plenty to be sorry for, you think, handfuls of apologies shoved into each corner of your brain. ‘Let’s do something,’ you say quickly, chasing the scatter away. ‘Distract me, please.’
He kisses you, lips firm and sure against yours in an agreement, a promise. ‘I have something to show you,’ he says afterwards. His grip on your face drops and he takes a hand instead, fingers curling around your palm. ‘The new horse is here.’
‘It is?’ You cling to him, put your free hand around his bicep and pull tight to his side like the closeness will help. He looks at you like he understands. ‘Well, show me then,’ you push, almost able to smile into it. ‘She was pretty from what I remember.’
‘Very pretty,’ he agrees. ‘Come on.’
You follow him through the house and across the drive. He doesn’t stop talking the whole way, which is unlike him, but he knows any silence will just cause you to slip again, to overthink until you’re tumbling. You answer his questions, dumb as they are, like he doesn’t already know the answers. You tell him what you had for breakfast, what you read in the paper. He asks, and he drawls, and he comments on the bloom of the roses as you pass them. He keeps going and going, until you’re so wrapped up in him, and the house, and the world outside, that everything else falls quiet. Peaceful. He fills your head with his own voice and you thank him for it. You thank him, and you hold on like it’s the only thing keeping you above the water.
‘You alright?’ he asks, checking once you’ve reached the stables.
‘Yes, Tom.’ You smile, meaning it. ‘I’m with you, remember?’
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mjxmoon · 3 years
Text
dream losing his shit 🌱
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dream x black reader
word count: 679
request: this one might be a lil rough, but can you do it where one of the mcyts has a fan thats getting a bit racist about the reader in the donos and the mcyt proceeds to lose their shit on them?
a/n i liked this prompt and should say that everyone handles racist comments differently. there's no one right way to handle a moment like this so i just picked one that i’ve done to cope with racist bitches.
warnings: swearing, mentions of racial slurs (but i don’t actually write them out bc im not trying to set the white ppl up ya know) fluff maybe i have no clue how warnings work
I don’t know why I was nervous; you think to yourself as you read through the chat of the stream you’re currently on with your boyfriend. Dream asked you to stream with him so his fans could get a chance to know you, and you were a bit hesitant. They know you exist because you’ve appeared in his merch photos, so they aren't completely oblivious to some aspects of your physical appearance, but having to talk to thousands of people live is terrifying.
But much to your surprise, everything seems to be going well. The chat is being friendly, twitter is at ease, and everyone on the SMP has been very welcoming.
“Dream help me!” you exclaim as Tommy begins to attack you in-game “Tommy, quit it!” Dream laughs but opts not to help in your survival attempt, sitting back in the extra chair he’s pulled up and relaxing, figuring you’ve got it covered.
Your laughter and squeals of excitement pause as you take a peek at the donation that comes across the screen. A chunky donation message sent along with $50 expresses how surprising it is that ‘Dream’ would ever “date someone like you,” along with some offensive slurs that make your mouth open slightly in shock. You get a queasy feeling in your stomach and chew on your bottom lip, not really sure how to react; who spends $50 just to call me that? As disappointing as it is- this is something you were expecting. You've gotten used to the stares, the comments, and just about everything in between, so while this isn't the first time you’ve had racist shit said to you, something about it being from one of your boyfriend's “fans” stings more than it should.
Dream notices the shift in your mood and looks from your slightly perplexed face to the screen. “What the fuck.” he says aloud as he reads the recent dono. He doesn't have a headset on and was nowhere near the mic, but everyone definitely heard it.
“Dream  just let it go.” you mumble, not wanting to draw any more attention to this racist asshole.
He ignores you and stands up, taking the headset off your head and leaning towards the mic. “Are you guys fucking kidding me?” Dream  says in a low, but threatening tone, “Who thinks sending this shit is funny?
The chat can only focus on how ‘Hot’ Dream sounds when he's upset and that only pisses him off more. “I don’t know why you guys are treating this like a joke. If you send racist shit to my partner again, I'm gonna be done streaming because this is ridiculous.”
You sit there awkwardly, not really knowing what else to do as your usually reasonable boyfriend goes apeshit on some anonymous racist. Cry? Laugh? Leave? You don’t know whether or not you should be bothered by some troll just trying to get a reaction, but you have to admit that it is nice not to have to deal with it on your own.
“So stupid.” Dream mutters before forcefully ending the stream. He pulls off his headset and slams it down, his chest still heaving and his fist tightened in anger.
It's quiet for a moment before you burst into a fit of giggles. Dream looks at you, concerned at how you're choosing to handle all this. You don't even know why you're laughing either, but it isn't long before you both are doubled over on the floor in laughter.
“It's just so stupid.” You say in between laughs. There's no right way to handle a situation like this, but you figured why not try to find some light in the situation and not dwell on it. What's the point of letting them live rent-free in your head?
“Thank you for sticking up for me.” you sigh, secretly a little sad that he ended the stream since you were having so much fun. “Of course.” Dream replies, letting out a breath. He fiddles with his fingers as his mind drifts to all the other stuff he could have said or done “They’re lucky I didn't get their IP address.”
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secretsniper2 · 3 years
Text
Late for Class..
“Im going to be late! Again! Why cant I wake up on time, stupid alarm clock, Im breaking it when I get home I swear!”
Its my usual response really, but I already know full well why I stay up so late, last night I tried to cum for 4 hours before I finally gave up and went to sleep, I just cant seem to manage a single orgasm, all I do is edge and make the throbbing worse! What's wrong with me? I was in such a rush Im only wearing a Simple plaid skirt with pink panties and thin white top with a poorly chosen black bra that shows clearly through my even poorer choice of top, tight 3 inch boots on my legs, A single tear flies off my eye as I rush to the station, I don't want to miss my train today or I really will be late for class.
Dashing through the station, my long brown hair flowing behind me as I make my way to the platform, Its packed, Ill be lucky to get a seat, odds are ill be standing today but at least I made it in time, “Might make it to classes after all.” I think to myself with a smile. Train arrives and I brace for the rush, and as the doors open Im pushed by other commuters into the train and soon enough were all packed in like sardines, barely room to myself I notice that Im being pushed up into someone larger than most in this carriage. He is tall, 2 full heads taller than me, Brown hair and large beard, his green eyes looking down and not just into my own green eyes, but seemingly through them, staring at me harder than any other has before.
The people everywhere still fighting for more space pushes me further into this man as our eyes still locked onto each other as my chest presses into his and i can feel my nipples starting to get harder under my bra, Im still aroused from my poorly timed marathon last night and this man seems to have figured my arousal out, his arm moves around me and pulls me even closer as his other arm moves between us and touches my stomach with his big warm hands. 
Still locking eyes with me my mouth opens slightly as I feel his hand begin to slide down my leg and twist up my skirt, fingers crazing my slick thighs, and moments later caressing them, his fingers are being coated in my shame from last night. Sliding up my juice coated thighs his hand continues up till he cups my sex, Im soaked, dripping and desperately needy, moaning instantly into the gaze of this man the second he touched my pussy, my thin pink panties might as well not even be there since I soaked them through completely as his hands were trailing up my thighs before he even touched my wet sex.
A finger peels my useless panties off my pussy as I feel 2 fingers touch my clit and begin to rub, forcing louder moans as I break eye contact as his other hand, which had been holding me closer launches over my mouth and silences me before anyone could take notice to the moan, good think too as his massaging of my clit is making me moan harder and harder without stopping and it only took this man 12 seconds to bring me to a solid edge, it takes me much longer to get my edging started but this man.. 
Another edge hits as his fingers rub around my labia as he scratches at my clit constantly, dragging fresh moans from my face I feel him pushing a thick finger into my pussy slightly, seeming to test my pussy, its a tight fit, he knows Im a virgin now for sure, only a virgin is this tight to a single finger and I close my eyes as the idea of being raped on this crowded train as my first time slaps me with a edge on its own..
The movements of the train barely phase this man as his hand remains locked to my soaked pussy, his finger curled under pressing a knuckle into my nervous hole as his fingertip flicks at my clit, Im being overloaded, its far more intense than what iv ever done to myself and this man has only been in sexual contact with me for little over a minute and iv edged 4 times now.. 5 times now, his finger wont stop scratching at my clit, while his remaining fingers massage my labia from the base of my pussy to where my clit sits, Im being tortured and no one here is aware because a small girl is being gagged by a hand!
Constant stimulation has reduced my pussy to a source of ever flowing juices as my inner thighs are soaked down to my knees, if my boots weren't nice and tight id likely be standing on my toes in boots filled with proof of my arousal, thankfully they remain tight and my feet are dry inside though Im still being edged while standing on my toes almost making my legs give out beneath me. My juices flowing down my boots and pooling between my feet and the streams on my legs and the constant droplets from the mans hand keep expanding my puddle of need! I hate how turned on I am!
Pulling up to a station at last, I have 4 stops till I get to mine as I look back into this mans eyes, he still staring down, studying my expression and face as his other hand raises from my hand and a finger pushes past my lips and I instantly begin to swirl my tongue around it, I cant stop myself at this point as I suck hard on the finger rubbing my tongue as I moan in bliss as i hit edge after edge, as my head starts to shift back and forth, Im now giving this finger a blowjob and I cant stop myself, Im being swallowed in pleasure.
Another station and I slam into my 15th edge, my mind is in a haze as I drool as my head bobs back and forth on his finger with enthusiasm Im embarrassed Im showing someone who is essentially drugging me with my own arousal! My eyes unfocused as I feel his gaze still burning onto my face as my head drones on his finger, tongue working the underside of his finger as the suction Im giving is pulling my cheeks in on the draw back, my clit being rubbed to another mind breaking edge as we pull into another station and more people leave and enter the train. 2 stops to go, if I can even bring myself to go by then! And as i get to another edge the man leans in, removes his finger and locks his lips to mine, his tongue launching in and kissing me deeply, his saliva covered hand moving behind my head holding me in his kiss.
Making out with this man in brought to another edge quickly followed by another edge as the kiss goes in I melt into this man, legs going limp as I slam into another edge, my eyes fluttering as the man releases my mouth from his probing kiss as his finger drives back in and pulls against my jaw so Im forced to look back as he draws my focus as he pinches my clit before removing his pussy scented hand and licking his glossy fingers. Doors open and Im immediately pulled from the train, 1 stop early but the man doesn't care, his hand behind my head had lowered to my waist when the door had opened as he leads me out the train and through the station.
Walking out to the street the man directs me to the parking lot and a large van unlocks as we approach, I slow my pace but am met with a strong arm still wrapped around me as Im almost dragged to his van. Opening the side door I look around, 1 single seat with multiple bolts around the van, Pushing me into the seat Im quickly tied to the seat as i sit open mouthed in shock, the situation still not beating out my haze completely. Opening my mouth to voice something, anything, a cry for help, a plea for my safety, but as my mouth opens a finger dives in, its the same finger that was rubbing my throbbing clit earlier, I can taste my pussy on his fingers, smell the pure need I left on him.
“You don't say a fucking word, understood?” The man growls with a deep voice, echoing in my head I nod pathetically as his finger withdraws and a ring gag is pushed into my still open mouth, ensuring that my mouth stays open as drool quickly starts to pool in my mouth and flow through my ring and onto my thin white shirt.
Hopping in the drivers seat the man starts the van and we go for a drive, I cant see much outside the front windshield as the interior has been covered in padding to keep any silly screams for help between us 2 in the van. Tears start to form in my eyes as the man looks in the mirror and sees me dead centre of his view, he raises a remote and presses it and I jump in my bondage, my seat is vibrating! its formed in such a way my entire pussy is resting on a new vibrating pad, Im being forced to ride a vibrator while the man continues to drive, chuckling as I moan aloud, drool flowing onto my covered chest, the thin top soaking and sticking to me it almost fades when wet so it looks like Im not even wearing a shirt now!
10 minutes? 20? I don't know, the haze has returned as Im forced into more edges, and hearing a occasional chuckle I know when the man looks at me in his mirror as I lazily look around the van or up to meet his gaze when he drinks in my situation, was this all planned by him or was my abduction a spur of the moment thing? I don't know, and I cant ask with this ring in my mouth, only moan as I hit another edge and drool onto my generous breasts.
Pulling into a alleyway the man shuffles back and grabs my phone, Asking for the password i have little choice but to give him access and he starts going through my personal info, Smiling as he reads 1 of my bank statements.
“Looks like your going to be in debt a while Anna!” He says with a smile forcing a pathetic growl from my open mouth.
Reading my phones diary he goes into my private notes and laughs out loud and I hear him say the diary title “Orgasm Attempts” and my face burns red, Never having experienced a orgasm in my life for some unknown reason and now this man knows and I cant stop him!
“Lets run a test then! since were already in a nice place!” He says as Im untied from the still vibrating seat and the door is opened, thrown out of the van I notice Im not even in the city we took the train to, he's taken me somewhere I don't know! As the man follows he grabs my arm and lifts me up casually and spins me around and pushes my face against the alley wall, Hearing a zipper open i start resisting in earnest and Im rewarded for my resistance by hearing rapid clicking and something cold wrapping around my wrist, having my arm pulled behind my back then more cold clicking on my other wrist..
Iv been handcuffed! I cant push off the wall, I cant push him away! Im as helpless as a child and can do about as much as 1. Feeling my skirt get raised up and tucked into itself my ass is on display, pink thong parting my firm cheeks as he runs a thick finger down the band and pulls my thin layer of fabric and only cover aside and a monstrous pressure hits my asshole, his cock is lined up and my butt is about to take a beating. With ring gag still in my mouth i bite down as pain flows through me, my tight ass has only ever had small plugs and occasional finger enter but now Im taking a 4 finger thick rod in my ass my eyes are watering fast!
Blinking back tears as a moan scream combo rushes out as he thrusts hard and slams into me, his balls slapping my soaked pussy as Im impaled by a solid dry cock, and to my shame I hot another edge as he bottomed out, pulling back drew out another sound, I felt like i would throw up when he quickly thrust back in, raping my tight ass in a alleyway where anyone could see us, as his balls continue slapping my cunt as im fucked harshly to another edge. 
Im crying out, the first thrust was excruciating, the following 5 were horrendously painful but now Im feeling pleasure, Im being raped and Im starting to moan as he works me over with his cock, his thrusting speeding up and I know what's coming next, and Who is cumming next since its never been me in my life! Heat bursts into my tight, freshly deflowered ass, feeling hot like lava I cry out as I edge as Im filled, my pussy drooling with need and unfulfilled pleasure as my ass takes his cum all the way inside me, his balls tensing as he pumps more and more cum inside.
Spinning me around and pushing me into the van once again the man rummages around while I lay there, spasming with a full ass and desperate cunt, I feel something press into my ass again and it slides in easily, too easily to be his cock.. Its a plug! my ass has been filled with his cum and is now being plugged to keep me full! why would this man plug me? I turn to get my answer but hes already pushed me into the van and hops in after me, his hard cock swinging between his legs. It felt massive in my ass but its not as big as i thought, definitely larger than average by a full 2 sizes it isnt a monster to break me with, thankfully since if it was any bigger my ass would have torn for sure!
Mouth still open and drool flowing out and stuck to my face and hair he pulls me forward and my mouth lands right where he wants me to land, with my hands cuffed behind my back I cant stop or slow my fall as his entire length, which would go from my elbow to my wrist is now passing the ring and my throat parts as my momentum causes me to deepthroat him right at the start, my tongue thrashing around on the cock in my mouth, his tip in my throat I gag painfully but helplessly. I feel his hand run through my hair as I continue to swallow his cock in a long dive down, he grips my hair at the base and pulls me up and almost entirely off.
Im coughing painfully instantly as he then releases my head and I drop once again to the base of his cock and then once again having my head grabbed by his hand at the base of my hair he then begins to use my head as a fleshlight, a toy I cant avoid being used as at this point, my mouth being full of his cock and before too long Im pushed to the base, his length in my throat as i feel his balls tensing and Im rewarded for my unwilling blowjob with a stomach full of cum being pumped in my throat. Being bulled off his still rigid cock a dildo gag is pushed in my mouth and locked in, Im being forced to deepthroat another cock, at least this 1 cant cum...
Securing me to my seat Im once again sitting with my pussy firmly planted on the vibrating pad, and in seemingly no time at all Im forced to the edge once again, my haze ever present, iv been drowning in pleasure since I woke up, and this mans actions have shaken me, even when used by someone else I really cant cu, I tear up at that realization as we drive off yet again. My view limited again after another 20 or so minute drive with another 30 or so edges Im far beyond any daily edge count iv had before, pulling up to a random alley once again Im untied and the gags are removed from my mouth.
“See you on the train tomorrow.” The man says as Im pushed from the van and he drives away, Spit covered shirt with black bra still visible and my skirt still tucked in exposing pushed aside panties and bald bare pussy and thick plug in my ass I return everything to its usual place then look around to get my bearings. Im a block away from my Uni, a few hours late for sure and no longer caring for the class I clearly missed I might as well just go home, but ill need a new shirt before I go since this shirt is barely a shirt now.
Dashing into a clothes store and a few minutes later leaving in a cheap shirt with my soaked shirt in a bag I leave for the station I intended to reach far earlier today, Hopping on a train and start my hopefully peaceful trip back home I sit in a vacant seat and relax, my ass clenching on the plug he left in me and I know the second I remove it ill be spilling cum everywhere so Ill have to choose a more secluded place, Glancing up my eyes widen and I see him, Sitting on the other end of the carriage, green eyes trained on mine as he sits, and waits unmoving.
5 Stops then its mine and I watch him carefully, Is he planning on assaulting another girl like he did me? Why cant I bring myself to call him out? 4 stops remaining. I should hit him or kick him, he raped me and even plugged my throbbing ass! 3 stops remaining. I should tell someone, there are girls all over this train and they would help me right? 2 stops remaining. Whatever he does ill stop him, I cant let what happened to me happen so someone else.. even though they get his.. cock and get to cum.. why couldn't I cum? why cant I ever cum? 1 stop remaining. Sitting in my seat my hand idly slides under my skirt, my wet shirts bag hiding my action as I begin rubbing my still throbbing clit to another edge, “I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!” i think over and over in my head as my finger traces circles around my slick clit and another edge until.
Doors open and I jump up, the man following suit, I step off the train onto my station and the man does the same on the other end of the carriage.. What's his game? I cant go home if hes following me, I don't want this man knowing where I live! But what choice do I have here, If I don't go home and he follows me I could be in real trouble, in my own home town..
I take off running from the man who only walks after me, Its 5 blocks of zig zagging and a lot of looking back but I loose him quickly. “cant keep up if all you do is walk!” I think to myself as I unlock my front door, enter than lock everything I can lock to secure my home and I take a deep breath, Windows and doors all locked I take another breath, my ass throbbing after running while plugged like this I retreat to the shower and work the plug out. The second it comes out the cum follows, “he really filled me” I think as i turn the shower on, taking my clothes off to clean myself up.
Getting changed I don't feel very hungry.. considering the “Meal” I had earlier I just go to bed early, Resting my throbbing ass is all I need to focus on and that needs sleep.
Tossing and turning in a light sleep, the scenes from today keep replaying in my head, the arousal, the amount of edges I was forced to experience, the taste of his cum on my tongue, the pleasure.. it felt good, I cant lie about that much. Feeling the bed shift i simply readjust in my bed when a hand presses on my mouth. My eyes shoot open as Im staring back into those same green eyes..
With his other hand pulling my initially fresh and dry panties off my body, my imagination replaying the events from earlier soaking them thoroughly he grabs my leg and raises it high, his cock once again levelled with me he rubs it over my soaking pussy and thrusts a few times, coating his cock in my shame he aims once again for my tight recently emptied ass and pushes hard.
“Nice home you have here” He says in his deep voice as he pulls my raised leg back and so pulling me further onto his cock. “I think ill stay a while, show you a few fun things, teach you a few other things” He says with a smile as he thrusts hard and I feel his cock drive deep once again. “Tomorrow Im going to feed you a refreshing cum cocktail, you'll learn to love it, or not, its all you'll be drinking from now on anyway!” He laughs! My pleasure at its peak my mind cant believe whats going on, I black out in a mix of fear, pleasure and shock. I think Im going to miss my next few classes too..
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shadowturtlesstuff · 3 years
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Enchanted
finally finished this!!! im so happy with it, and will be writing it in thomas’s pov as soon as possible and perhaps part 2? 
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Sleep evades me. My mind keeps returning to last night, specifically to a certain person I had met last night. I pull the covers higher, burying my head as I finally gave into my wandering mind.
~
I stand alone, needing a break from my aunt Amelia. The music was beautiful, a soft sound that filled the entire room. The party itself was decorated in a magical way, the columns in the building encompassed in vines, the tables with floral centrepieces. It was a mixture of whimsy and magic, yet no one seemed happy to be here. Everyone I spoke to was forcing smiles, men faked laughter as they believed this was not a party but a way to make business deals and enforce their own reputation. It was absurd how no one was just admiring the effort people put into making this perfect. It was the same every month, I'd walk to the edge of the room and watch. To calm my nerves, to explore the different flower pieces, the musicians and the flickering candles from the chandelier. The gowns women wore only once to try and show their wealth, whilst I tended to wear the same, as it fit the magical atmosphere this room desperately tried to make people see, yet they were too blind by their greed, the need to prove themselves to everyone to just simply stand back and enjoy themselves.
My cousin Liza seemed to be in conversation with Dacina, the host of the party, someone I had spoken to a few times, each being more enjoyable. Her calming demeanour and charm always lifted my spirits. Her family organizes this ball once a month, her father hates it but makes a lot of business so it is always left to her to plan and design it. With the help of Illeana and lots of their servants they always make this place ethereal. Her brother, Thomas Cresswell, only ever shows up for a few hours then leaves, only being able to handle the faking niceties for so long. Dacina told me of his tolerance, or lack thereof, to society. She speaks highly of her brother, as I once did, yet I have never met Mr.Cresswell. 
The varnished wooden floor slowly gathers marks as couples danced. How I longed to be one of those dancers, being swivelled by someone I loved. They would look at me as if I was the most magical thing in the room, with a soft smile and adoration in every word he whispers to me. I would be his equal as we spun around, the world fading into nothing as we held each other. Alas, those dreams are not likely for someone cruel enough to carve the dead. 
I snap out of my fantasy as a group of older men walk towards the buffet near me. They talk loud enough so everyone can hear, shockingly talking about work. I roll my eyes at them and look away back to the dance floor. The lights above cast shadows, making the scene feel like my imagination as I sit by a fireplace to read a romance novel. If this was a novel, there would be my love interest here, watching and finding the courage to say something. There are families at the table, children clinging to mothers as the men sit and discuss whatever. My father, uncle and aunt sit together in a seemingly civil conversation. I look for Liza again, deciding I should probably stop brooding in the corner but as I look for her my attention keeps going back to the men at the buffet. Not by choice, but by their obnoxious decision to shout their conversation. 
“A woman led the strike, ridiculous, she had to go,” I heard an oldish man say, followed by murmurs of agreement, “these strikes are out of hand, demanding we pay more, absurd notions.” The man is none other than Mr. Birling, a notoriously cold hearted man, much like dacianas father apparently, both of whom value money rather than people. Even their own families. The group of men who looked the same as him, slightly wrinkled face, greyish hair, miserable faces with hints of conniving schemes being plotted against each other. Friends until one of them was earning more money and was more successful, then they were enemies again. 
The men were in a heated discussion about their business and from what I can dissect from their ramblings is that they fully believe themselves to be hard working men, a rarity these days, and they must do what is necessary for their companies. Meaning, budget cuts, strikes from workers, firing people, and any horrible decision in the name of money.  I refrain from rolling my eyes, or going over to berate them. 
“Mr. Birling would not know what a hard day's work is.” someone says quietly behind me. His voice is smooth, confident, and whilst I agree due to what I have learnt about the birling family and the conversation I had just overheard, I still wouldn't say it aloud with him being this close. Not that he pays any attention to anyone but ‘hard working men’. 
I turn my head slightly, the man behind me is tall, a smirk playing at his lips. His suit is finely tailored in a dark grey, with a peach tie. He takes a step forwards and stands at my side, staring out into the crowd, a glass of half drunk champagne in his hand. I return my gaze to the crowd. “Whatever makes you think that, surely you heard him talk about how much he works,” I try to suppress my own smirk and I also sneak a glance at the strange man. He merely takes a sip of his champagne. 
“Right of course, his words, I shall listen more closely next time.”
“As you should. You wouldn't want to misinterpret someone's work ethic and make a fool of yourself in front of a stranger.” 
“You consider me a fool now?” he turns to me now, hands pressed against his chest in fake offence. His brown eyes meet mine as I face him. His sharp cheekbones feel familiar, but I can't place where from. 
“Yes. how could you consider someone such as Mr Birling, a man with such talent and tolerance of others, a man who clearly built his company and was not handed it by his father, how could you with a straight face imply he doesn’t know hard work.”  we stare at each other for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. He has such a pure laugh, we seem to be the only sound in the room. People around us stop and stare, upset two people are having fun at a party. The stranger leans against one of the columns, disrupting the vines slightly. Yet he doesn't seem to care, as he slowly starts to regain his composure from our outburst. 
Mr. Birling is one of the men looking at us with full disdain. He perceives us as two kids who do not understand life, he specifically tells his accountant that there is something wrong with us if the rumours are to be believed. Children of science. Outrageous. Especially a girl. A girl, not a woman. I ignore his pathetic whining, intent on not letting him ruin my night and return my focus to the stranger. Who, I realise, is someone who enjoys science. His face is more solemn now, having also overheard Mr.Birling. He quickly recovers and plasters a smirk on his face, a spark shines in his eye and I can already tell this won't be good.
“I want to meet this ‘girl’ who led the strike, perhaps she could use some help. I mean, all they ask is fair pay,”
“But fair pay is absurd. Completely and utterly absurd. Why should the wealthy share their wealth to those who ensure it.” he finishes for me. The men that run this world will end up being the reason it fails. We share a look, full of understanding and he lets out a sigh. Now we're talking about work and politics at a party. 
“Aside from those charming men, how are you enjoying the party?” He gestures to the men around us and I snort. Charming was one word for them. Being with him and trading remarks felt like passing notes to each other, telling secrets during class even though we are meant to be listening to the teacher. I can't help but think I know him, and by the look in his own face he knows me. Perhaps we met but didn't have time for a full conversation like we are now. 
“Mostly entertaining, the place is spectacular as always, the people are..” I searched for a word to describe the people, as well as my family. I love them dearly but they can be insufferable. “An interesting mix. My family is dramatic, so I escaped to the edge to peace and quiet, which apparently isn't possible. "I give him a pointed look but he takes no notice. 
“My family is also dramatic, and I came for peace myself but found myself captivated by you, specifically how you watched the crowd, listening, and how you curled your fists in an attempt not to go and publicly humiliate the poor man. Which, by the way, I think you should've. Would've made the whole thing worth it.” He takes a sip of his champagne and I nearly roll my eyes at him. Of course he'd want that. From what I can tell he isn't someone who enjoys society and has no problem saying it. I also think about the families in attendance and which of those are dramatic. The only person I can think of is Darci's brother, whom I've not met but heard about his nature over wine with her. 
“If I was merely standing here minding my business would you still have found me captivating enough to talk to me? Or is my appeal in my anger?”
He downs the rest of the drink and straightens himself taking a step towards me. I cross my arms, impatient but he gives me a soft smile. “I've been trying to get the courage to talk to you for months, I always see you here at the edge, always. My eyes find you instantly in any crowd. Transfixed, captivating. It was an added bonus to me when I saw the fierce nature in your eyes up close, I knew I was right to want to befriend you.” 
Silence falls as we both take in his words. I feel bad, not being able to figure out who he is. His honesty is admirable and makes me smile, as well as blush. I can feel heat rise to my cheeks. Just as I begin to rectify the situation by asking for his name, a man comes behind 
me, he’s around 40 probably, and looks at me horrendously in an attempt at a smile. I recognised him from earlier, he's one of the men that spoke with Mr Birling and that alone makes me instantly want to recoil. 
“Can I help you sir?” I asked and I can hear my own clipped words, yet somehow he does not. The smile widens and he looks me up and down. Then he offers his hand to me and I realise he wants to dance. With a woman half his age, that he has never met. 
“Miss Wadsworth, dance with me?” more of a common than a question. Since I am already highly aware he doesn’t like when females have opinions or say no, I refrain from rolling my eyes and just walking off from him. Instead I take a step back, so I'm by my new friend’s side and smile widely. 
“I'm afraid I already promised the darling Wadsworth a dance, we are just finishing our drinks first.” As if to prove my point he drinks the last of his drink, mostly to hide his smirk. Something else the man doesn't seem to notice. His face drops, but his pride makes him believe he can stand there, waiting for me to run to him. There is an awkward silence until I feel hands reach down and take mine, they are warm and make me jump slightly at the contact. Not in a bad way, not in the way I would have if it had been the man in front of me with his gaze like fire as he looks at our joined hands as though he has a right to be mad about it. I feel my own fire burn as he stares, so I tug his hand away from the man. I need to just escape into the dreamlike nature of the dancefloor, as well as thank my saviour and learn his name.
He leads me to the dance floor, nearer the edge and his hands slip down to my waist as I find his shoulders. His touch is hesitant but reassuring. Somehow he looks calm and terrified, as though he never expected to dance with me but never wants to stop. I can't help but feel the same as we begin to move. My skirt swirls around us and we say nothing for a while as we both calm ourselves and let the music envelope us. In a way, this is as close to my daydreaming as I might ever get. Being here on the dance floor with someone who isn't twice my age and the definition of misogyny. We dance as equals, neither of us truly leading but letting each other float around each other. We're sure of our movements and demand nothing from each other. It is a weird calmness that settles. We are strangers as far as i know, and yet we dance as though we have known each other our entire lives. 
“You are a delight, miss Wadsworth.” he breaks the silence, somehow louder than the music for me, yet it's quiet. Almost like he didn't mean to say it aloud. 
“How do you know me?” my voice matches and i feel bad asking, but i need to know. My tone is not accusing, and his face only burrows in confusion for a second before he smirks at me. A smirk I'm seeming to become familiar with.
“My sister Dacina speaks highly of you.” my eyes must expand as he laughs softly. That's why I recognized him. He has the same structure as Dacina, sharp cheekbone and soft skin. Perfect complexion. 
“So you are the infamous Thomas cresswell?” this time I smirk and his eyes widen. 
“Infamous? What on earth have you heard of me?”
“Your sister has lots of opinions on you.”
“Of course she does. Whatever she has said is most likely not true.” He blurts out and I laugh at his relationship with his sister and him wanting to impress me. “Unless she told you I am utterly irresistible, charming, quick witted and incredibly smart.” winking at me he sends me into a surprising spin and my hands land on his chest. We've sped up slightly, yet our heartbeats are both faster than necessary and I can see a hint of a blush creeping up on his cheeks. 
“She did mention you have an overly large ego. She'll be happy to know I agree with her.” I feel his hands tighten at my waist slightly and I watch his curls fall down in his face as he shakes his head. I'm delighted by this turn of events. Daci is wonderful, and if this is the Thomas that I get to see, not his reputation, then I shall try and keep this in my life for as long as possible. His spark in his eyes shows how he may think the same. Also, if daci, liza and ileana are with Thomas, then i might have the most fun I've ever had in my life.
His voice slides through my thoughts, but also reinforces them. “I am sure she failed to mention how big of an ego she has. Honestly, Darci is worse than I. Have you met Illeana? She will surely agree with me on this.” 
“I'm sure she would, I've also heard you are a scientist, what do you study?”
“The dead. Much like you and your uncle.” There is so much certainty in his voice, no resentment or the usual tone I hear so I gift him an earnest smile. 
The song ends, and we stand, hands still on each other for a second longer than we should. Just as I go to remove my hands from his chest I feel him pinch my sides lightly. Then his warm hands slip from my waist and I wish more than anything to dance again. 
We go to return back to the column near the buffet, where we first spoke, and as I take a step I feel him move so he's pressed at my back, his hands finding mine. Even though we are gloved, even though no one can see our hands due to how close we are, and how many people are moving about, my heart pounds at his bold nature. I adore it, so I squeeze him and keep my head facing forward as I lead him off the dance floor. We settle back, Thomas letting go of my hand to pick up two glasses of champagne and hands me one. We both take a long sip, perhaps settling our brains or making it worse. Well see. 
“You look,” he pauses, as if trying to find the right words, brows furrowed slightly as if he was reading a dictionary, “enchanting.” he finally finishes, gifting me a rare smile it seems. No longer does he smirk at me, but shows me a genuine look that I want to have painted as it is the best thing I have witnessed. Heat rises to my cheeks as I look down at my dress. Someone at least understood what I was going for, with a pale peach colour, sparkling bodice that runs along the length of the skirt. The long sleeves adorned with tiny gemstones, golden to match the accented colours of the hall. In response to Thomas I look back up at him with my own genuine smile, perhaps some of the only true smiles to be shared this evening. His suit fits him perfectly, showing off his defined features, his tie a pale peach as well. I assume Dacina helps him, as her dresses always astound me with the details. There are tiny, miniscule gems on his tie, that snake down and remind me of vines.
“You look,” I act the way he did, scanning my brain for something that fits, handsome or charming doesn't do justice but I'm sure whatever I use will only boost his ego and be used against me, so I settle with: “bedazzling.” 
“Bedazzling?”
“Thomas, I study the dead, I have to look closer than one should at things, so of course I noticed your tie. Henceforth: bedazzling.” The air shifts back to our teasing tone and he smirks once again.
“You are the only one to notice, except Daci of course, nothing gets past her. Am I correct in assuming you like the tie?” Despite his teasing I feel a hint of worry as if I wouldn’t like his tie. 
“I adore the tie cresswell, everyone here should be weaning ties with tiny jewels.”
His face falls as he scans the crowd, eyes narrowing slightly as he takes in the groups of men. “I cannot tell if you are being serious with me or not, but I agree nonetheless. The men here are awfully drab, boring, plain. It's insulting to us really. Daci puts so much time into making this beautiful and these people do not see it.” He is shaking his head. I agree, I have heard how much work goes in and despite my effort to help she insists that I do nothing but enjoy the party. I have a sneaking suspicion though that Liza helps. The flower centrepieces are her favourite, and whilst that might be a coincidence I know how stubborn and convincing she can be. 
“I do. I love her parties. I always find myself standing here, watching and noticing all the changes from the month prior. Like, last month she went for more of a red theme, with red roses as the centrepieces, little red accented chairs and carpets. Whereas this month is more of a forestry vine, hence the vines around the column.” I point as though they are a secret thing you need to search for even though they are obvious. Yet he turns anyway and runs his finger down the length of it with his adorable face set at a soft smile. Thomas might have been there when she got the idea, or placed them or he might have placed them himself and is now remembering it. 
My gaze finds Thomas and he looks at me, baffled, and I feel the blush creeping back up. It is not the same confused look that I get when I tell people my love of science, but one of intrigue. As if he could listen to me talk forever and not get bored. It's as if he has never thought anyone would notice such things about his family's party. “Enchanting.” is all he whispers to me. Then he clears his throat, an ever so soft shake of his head as though once again the words were meant for him and not us both. 
I stare out at the crowd again. I'm sure my family will want to know where I've disappeared to, I normally do not leave them this long. Liza I'm sure will want to know why I danced with Thomas. Yet the thought of leaving him makes my legs leaden and my heart sink and anchor me right next to him. Im completely wonderstruck, and feel ill have a permanent blush, especially when i look at his stupidly handsome face, his quick smirk and small smiles that feel special. It is odd, I've only heard stories, spoken to him briefly and danced, yet I have enjoyed his company immensely and hope this never ends. I want more dances and to steal more smiles to keep forever. I want to make fun of people together, and dance. 
I go to steal a glimpse of him, expecting to find him staring at the crowd like I was but his eyes are on me. “I have to leave,” his abrupt words anchor me in an entirely different way, “I mean,  I want to stay and I'm sure you want my amazing presence always now Wadsworth but I have to wake early. New job. So, my darling, I shall see you tomorrow.” Thomas hesitates for half a second and begins to walk away. I watch him go and say goodnight to his sister and then leave. His words fill my head. It’s reassuring to know he enjoys my company as much as I do.
~
I bolt upright in my bed, the lights, music and memories falling away as I focus on the last words he said to me.
I'll see you tomorrow. 
What does tomorrow mean? Does it mean he has a job where he thinks I visit? Will he be making an effort to befriend me? Does he know my family? I am so confused. How had I not caught these words sooner? Perhaps he wants to tell me he had a terrible time, that he doesn't like my presence. I'm on my feet without realising, pacing back and forth, the cold air hugging me close. I wish he was in front of me now. I wish he would whisper the words enchanting again. I wish I knew what was happening in a few hours that warranted him saying those four words. I run my hands over my face, untie my hair and let my curls fall over my shoulder, brushing away the colder ever so slightly. I'm ridiculous. Four tiny words sent me spiralling. I climb back into bed, my hair fanning out around me and the blanket returning warmth back into my system. Immediately my mind returns to Thomas, his face forever in my mind. Even if tomorrow could be the last time I see him, there is a chance that it is just the start. 
Enchanting…
Those words fill me with confidence that yes, Thomas might become someone special to me. That perhaps our dance sparked something and now all I wish is that I can tell him how enchanting he is.
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