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hayden-thefuck-whywouldyoudothis · 3 years

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The Inevitable

Hello wonderful people! This is going to be my first ever fanfic that I am posting anywhere, so please be nice. I would appreciate feedback, and I think that if it does well here I’ll post it n Ao3.

I came up with this fic idea a little while back, and I’ve been writing it since 03/13/21. Basically the idea is that while Tommy was in the afterlife, he met characters who died during Tales From The SMP episodes that took place in the past. They told him their stories, and Tommy connected the dots. He goes to confront Karl in Kinoko Kingdom.

This story includes a headcanon that is not mine. I read a fanfic with the mute!Karl headcanon. The story was an absolute banger. If you want to hear a little more about that go read their story Come Home With Me by icaruswontmelt on Ao3

Story starts under the cut .

The Inevitable, by BangHaydenCoven

Death was the one thing that had always been truly eternal. When Wilbur came back as Ghostbur, it had seemed like death maybe wasn’t completely permanent because Wilbur was back. But he hadn’t been brought back to life. He was a ghost, a shell of the person he had been before everything went to shit. Tommy had truly thought that death was the one thing that stayed constant on this god-forsaken server. Being beaten to death and brought back by the person who hurt you so deeply puts a lot of things that were just beyond reach of perfectly understandable, into perspective. In the amount of time that had gone by while Tommy’s life actually went to hell and back, everything had changed. Tubbo had gotten married of all things, He had a kid. And a new best friend as well, apparently. There was, for the first time in a long time, a semblance of peace between all of the factions. Peace smashed, the moment he had been let out of the prison. No one looked at him the same way anymore. No one looked at him like the kid he was. The kid he was supposed to be. All they saw was an anomaly. Not a real, live, breathing person who has feelings and needs validation, just like other people. Proof of something that never should have been real.

Since declaring that Dream had to die, Tommy had holed himself up in his little house dirt mound of a house. When he finally got over the initial panic, the firsthand terror of forcing himself to think about the time he had spent dead, he allowed himself to do it freely. Puffy had told him it was good to think back on the trauma. He wasn’t sure just how much he could trust that ideology, but it seemed to work for the most part. Tommy had spent the majority of his time in the afterlife with the people he had known when he was alive. Wilbur, Schlatt, Mexican Dream. It had been pretty simple. They spent a lot of time playing card games, for some reason. But one day, a fight had sparked between Tommy and Schlatt, causing the younger to storm off into the distance. He had been fuming that day. It hadn’t even been a fight that made sense. Schlatt had thrown some baseless accusations his way, and Tommy had just given up. He needed a break. So he walked away.

He walked.

And he walked.

And he stopped.

Looming over him was a building that was like nothing Tommy had ever seen. It was old, dusty, and cold. It belonged in the afterlife, to put it simply. It fit. It was a simple embodiment. Then, laughter filled the air. Frightening, drunk laughter that was cold but inviting. Tommy followed the spine-chilling noise into the building where he found four people. Three were dressed like they were from the Wild West. Cowboy hats, cowboy boots, and simple revolvers at their hips. The fourth was also clearly from the same time period, put was dressed simply. When he walked into the building, they just stared at him. Cold, level stares that made him feel like he would rather die all over again then be stuck under those gazes for the rest of eternity. But suddenly the looks of the people softened as they beckoned him over, introducing themselves as Connor, Mason, and Jack Kanoff. They were group of bandits called the Democrat Haters, and a simple bartender named John John. They told him their story, to put it simply. They told him how they died.

That was only the beginning.

Tommy wandered for a week straight, meeting people, hearing their stories. He met higher members of society who attended a masquerade only to die brutal deaths at the hands of a possessed butler, the members of a village with a crazed murderer that didn’t know haw to stop, that killed people brutally, among many others. And every single story Tommy heard had a one thing in common. There was always one man, in every story, who appeared out of no where, wearing colourful clothing and iridescent goggles perched on his head. He didn’t always use the same name, but he was always there, no matter when it had happened. As Tommy moved around his home to prepare, one thought rang true in his mind.

Karl was getting a visitor tomorrow.

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Walking to Kinoko Kingdom had taken a lot longer than Tommy had originally thought and planned for. Not that the little settlement was close to the rest of the Greater SMP, but it wasn’t far either. Regardless of distance, it was still far too long of a walk for Tommy to be in a good mood when he arrived to find Sapnap of all people tending to the garden in Kinoko. Usually Tommy would have snuck up behind Sapnap and scared him to intentionally piss the older man off, but that was the old Tommy. The old Tommy had stayed dead. Instead, he announced his presence by kicking an acorn at the other mans head. There was a loud yelp, followed by a string of curses that matched the flowers in the garden with how colourful they were.

“George, I swear to god, if-” his sentence dropped of in a look of pure disbelief as he turned around, expecting to see his best friend that deserved a good scolding. A dead teenager was definitely different. And confusing.

“Shit...” Sapnap mumbled, “Tommy?”

“Hello Sapnap. I must say its very nice to see you doing something other than killing pets. Or your fiances.” He smirks.

“Well it’s definitely you. The question is how. How are you alive?” he says as the shock on his face fades into confusion mixed with disbelief. Tommy freezes.

“Only if your okay with it of course. Don’t answer if your not comfortable. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought that up. That was insensitive of me...” he trails off as he realizes Tommy seems less stressed at the fact that Sapnap isn’t going to make him talk about it.

“Sapnap,” Tommy started, “I need to talk to Karl. Like, right now.”

“Alright,” said Sapnap, nodding slowly, “I’ll go get him. Stay right here.” As Tommy watched the other man walk away to retrieve one of his fiances, he really hopes that what he is about to accuse Karl of is wrong. Maybe one day they’ll laugh about this. Probably not.

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As Sapnap entered the house, looking for his fiances, he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that Tommy so urgently needed to talk to Karl about. Not finding his fiances on the first floor of their shared house, he went upstairs to continue his search, not wanting to keep the teen waiting for too long. As he opened the door to the throuples bedroom, he let out a small huff of affection when he saw his fiances, the loves of his life, asleep in their bed. Quackity had his arms around Karls waist, with his wings over both of them like a blanket, reflecting the golden light of the sun filtering through the window. Not wanting to disturb the scene in front of him, he let out a small sigh of annoyance as he forced himself to wake up Karl, and by extension Quackity.

“Theres someone here who wants to talk to you.” he muttered softly in Karls ear.

“Who?” Karl signed sleepily.

“Tommy. It seems pretty important. He’s down in the garden.” Sapnap said a little louder, seeing that Q was now awake, so there was no reason to stay quiet.

“Alright.” He signed, “Let’s go.” as he got up, he tugged on Quackity’s sleeve lightly. “Are you coming, Q?” He nodded and gave a small smile.

“Alright,” Sapnap said, pulling Quackity into a quick hug, and giving him a quick kiss on the temple, “Let’s go then.”

As they left the house and approached Tommy sitting at the picnic table in their back garden, they exchanged a small conversation in sign language.

“Is he okay?” said Quackity with some concern clear on his face, his movements slow and scuffed from sleep.

“He looks really tired.” Sapnap added.

“Q, could you run in and prepare some sandwiches and lemonade?” Signed Karl, “We’ll bring Tommy inside and we can all have lunch together while we talk.”

“Of course, my love.” Said Quackity, giving Karl a small kiss on the cheek before hurrying inside to prepare some lunch.

Turning to Tommy to thank him for waiting, he was met with a face of absolute, genuine confusion. As Tommy stared at their hands, then looked back over to Karl, his face quickly changed to a look of understanding.

“I forgot,” he said as he stood up sheepishly, “that Karl was mute.”

“That’s okay Tommy.” Karl cut in before Sapnap could say anything, “I know you’ve been through a lot recently. It’s okay to forget things from time to time. I should know.” Karl signed slowly so that Tommy could keep up with his rusty remembrance of sign language, adding a small smile at the end of his sentence.

“Thank you Karl.” Tommy said with a sigh of relief.

“Would you like to come inside and have lunch with us? I know you have something to talk to me about, but you look hungry. We could talk right after though. How does that sound?” Karl signed with a smile on his face.

“That sounds great.” Tommy said after a beat of hesitation.

“Perfect,” said Sapnap, “let’s head inside. Q is making some sandwiches.” They all headed inside, one dreading the talk that would come after, the other two wondering what could possibly be so important to cause Tommy to come all the way out to Kinoko Kingdom to talk to Karl.

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Tommy and Sapnap sat down at the table in the dining room as Karl went into the kitchen to help Quackity. Usually it would be all three of the in the kitchen, making food and having a good time, but Sapnap needed to take advantage of the situation at hand. Since he hadn’t visited the main SMP in a while, Tommy gave him the rundown of the current and recent events he knew of. Nothing too bad, but Sapnap knows you can never be too careful. A few minutes later, Quackity and Karl emerge from the kitchen carrying some plates and the food. As they sit down and start to eat, Sapnap and Quackity make small talk that Karl contributes too every once in a while with some one handed movements, putting his sandwich down when it was necessary. But Tommy stayed quiet, which the fiances found quite odd. Clearly whatever the boy had been through recently, on top of all his other trauma, had really messed with him. The loud, boisterous teenager they had known before was gone, replaced with someone they didn’t recognize in the slightest. So Tommy stayed silent the entire time, not noticing the quick, worry filled glances the trio sent his way every so often.

Soon enough, they had all finished eating. They were sitting in the fiances’ living room together, Tommy on one couch, the tree of them on the other. The room sat in an awkward silence as Karl, Quackity, and Sapnap waited for Tommy to talk to them, and as Tommy decided what to say.

After a moment, Tommy said, “Are you sure you want them here for this?” Karl’s eyes widened at how blatant he had been.

“Of course I want them here.” He signed quickly, “They are the people who matter most to me. Whatever you need to say to me you can say to all three of us.” Sapnap and Quackity nodded, not wanting to disrupt anything.

“Alright,” Tommy sighed, “Where should I start...” Karl’s hands stayed firmly in his lap to give Tommy a moment to think. “Well, I guess I’m just going to say what I came here to say, and pray to Prime that I’m wrong.” Karl nodded, once, slowly. Tommy took a deep breath before opening his mouth and saying...

“Your a time traveler, aren’t you?”

Silence.

And then laughter

All he could hear was laughter.

Sapnap and Big Q were laughing.

Karl was not.

Karl wasn’t laughing.

The look on his face was not one of someone who had just been accused of some laughable fallacy.

A fantasy, really.

Sapnap and Quackity had stopped laughing.

They seemed to have come to the same conclusion that Tommy had.

“Karlos?” Quackity started, “There is no possible way...” he stopped, a look of pure disbelief on his face.

“Tell me that he’s lying Karl.” said Sapnap. “Please.” Karl’s hands started to move, making aborted and scuffed movements as he tried to figure out what to say.

“No,” He finally settled on, “he’s right. I’m a time traveler.” Sapnap started crying at this, and Quackity gave him a hug as he buried his face into his fiances neck. Karl looked completely torn. He clearly wanted to comfort his fiances, but he knew he shouldn’t while Tommy was still here. But he also didn’t know if he could. Karl didn’t know if he was even still allowed to comfort them after keeping this big of a secret from them, and for so long. Karl started signing again, this time with clear urgency behind each movement.

“Two things, and then I need you to leave. Understood?”

“Of course,” said Tommy, “I will leave immediately.” Karl nodded.

“Thank you. First things first,” he signed, “how did you know?” Tommy sighed. He really didn’t want to talk about this. But Karl deserved to hear the truth.

“When I died, I was in the afterlife for a little while,” Tommy said softly, “One day I walked away from the people I knew in the afterlife, Schlatt, Wilbur, and Mexican Dream. I walked for so long I came across a building I had never seen before, and when I went in I met a group of people from the Wild West.” Karl’s eyes had gone wide.

“You met Jack and Mason and Connor?” he signed.

“Yeah, and John John as well. They told me what happened the day they died, and they mentioned you. Not directly, but they mentioned a man that had showed up out of nowhere wearing bright colours and iridescent goggles.” Karl looked wistful, remembering his time sent in the Wild West, even if it hadn’t been an exceptionally fun trip at the time. Tommy continued. “I also met the people who visited the masquerade, same story. But this time they mentioned your name. And lastly I met the townfolk of the Village that went Mad. Same story, but no name once again. I just connected the dots.” Tommy fell silent, waiting for Karl to tell him something. Sometime during his revelations, Sapnap and Quackity had left the room to comfort each other. Karl clearly wanted to tell them he was sorry, but he couldn’t do that until Tommy had left. Turning back to the teen, he started signing once more.

“Thank you for telling me, Tommy. I just have one thing to ask of you, then you can leave.” Tommy nodded his head, and Karl continued, “You cannot, under any circumstances, tell anyone what you know. It would put everyone in grave danger. Is that clear?”

“Of course. I won’t tell a soul.” Karl gave him a small smile. “Now I think you should go talk to your fiances.”

“I will,” he signed, leading Tommy to the front door, “Goodbye, Tommy. Have a good trip back.”

“Goodbye, Karl.”

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As he walked towards the door of their shared bedroom, he could barely hold himself back from running to the room to comfort them. But Karl couldn’t be sure that they would ever be the same again. It broke him to think that, but he had lied to them, for a long time. They probably hated him.

He stopped outside of the door, hearing faint sounds of crying on the other side of the door. He slowly opened the door to see Quackity and Sapnap cuddled up together against the headboard of their bed, with all of the lights out. Sapnap was asleep against Quackitys chest, tear tracks all over his face. Q wasn’t much better.

“Hey Karl.” Quackity said softly, sniffling a little.

“Hi.” he signed back, gong to sit on the edge of the bed. “I’m so sorry.” he signed after a beat of silence. “I have no excuses. I just wanted both of you to be safe from it.”

“But... what is it, Karl? Why couldn’t you tell us? Are these the trips you’ve been going on? Does it have something to do with your memory problems?” Quackity rambled, question after question. He cut off when he realized how tense Karl looked. “...sorry.” he said, lowering his voice once more.

“Woah, Q, it’s okay. But I can only answer one question at a time.” Quackity nodded. “It is the In-Between,” he started, making the ASL sign for between, then spelling it out, “I don’t actually know what it is, but I managed to get away from it recently. It was stopping me from telling you about my time traveling. It told me that telling you guys would put you guys in grave danger. I couldn’t let that happen. So I kept it a secret.” He stopped, hands dropping when he couldn’t figure out where to go from there. Quackity opened his mouth, about to ask a question, when he felt Sapnap stir at his side.

“Hey babe.” Quackity said, Sapnap just let out a little huff. “Sap, do you feel up to talking right now?”

“...yeah...is he here?” he mumbled, voice heavy and slurred with sleep.

“He is.” Quackity answered. Sapnap looked up at him, then looked over to Karl.

“Hi Sap.” he signed, not making eye contact. “I want to apologize to both of you. For not telling you. There really is no valid excuse that I have. The In-Between was crazy. I just wanted to keep both of you safe.”

“What is the In-Between?” Sapnap asked. Before Karl could answer, Quackity cut in.

“He doesn’t know, Sap.” he whispered.

Sapnap continued, “I want you to tell us the whole story. Please?” Karl looked conflicted.

“Alright.” he signed, “I’ll start at the beginning.” So he did. He told them the whole story. By the time he had finished, all three had tears running down their face. “Do you understand now?” Karl wiped his eyes before continuing, “It wasn’t safe to tell you.” Sapnap nodded, eyes red and puffy from crying.

“You need to stop traveling Karl. Me and Sapnap wouldn’t be able to live with ourselves if you forgot everything.” said Quackity, pulling Sapnap even closer. Karl sighed.

“I can’t control the traveling. I don’t know if it will ever stop. All I need right now is you two. If I hadn’t wanted to get home to you guys so desperately, I would have forgotten long ago.” Karl got up and grabbed his journal. “Fill it.” he signed, after he gave it to his two fiances, “fill it with everything I need to remember. And when I come back each time, help me remember. Please.” Sapnap looked up at him, then glanced at Quackity, coming to a silent agreement. They would do anything to keep Karl with them.

“Of course we will, mi amor.” said Quackity, opening his arms to invite Karl to come sit with them. Karl smiled, tears running down his face once again, crawling into their warm embrace. And as they sat there, holding each other close, Karl took each of heir hands, pressing his favourite symbol in ASL into their palms.

“I love you.”

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Thank you for reading!!! Once again, if you like this, leave a comment or something, idk. And make sure to go check out the story linked at the top of this post for more about the mute!Karl Jacobs hc.

Have an amazing day, wonderful people.

#karlnapity #afterlife #karlnapity fic #ficlet #fanfiction #dream smp #dream smp au #quackity #sapnap #karl jacobs #tales from the smp #the masquerade #the village that went mad #the wild west #time travel #mute character #headcanon #canon divergent au

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darkmulti · 4 years

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Death of You

Yandere ex bf!San x female reader

This is a re make of “Satan” bc it was deleted and also happen to be my favourite piece of writing:) also I mixed in a request in here!

⚠️Warnings: humilitaion, filth filth filth filth filth, spitting, spanking, degradtion, bondage, rough sex, oral (male recieving), slapping, theres a lot of kinky shit mixed in here, cum eating, cum play, choking, overstimulation, fear kink, possessive behaviour

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“San that’s not my fault.”

“Yes it is. It’s entirely your fault. You cheated on me and I caught you. I saw the messages on your phone.”

“San, you don’t even fucking trust me. It’s not what you think! He’s my bestfriend! Our conversation wasn’t even inappropriate in anyway, you’re just mad another boy texted me!”

“Yeah, exactly! What if you two have been fucking behind my back this whole time?”

Your eyes roll back and you mentally slap yourself.

Why were you trying to save something that was already broken?

San’s behaviour was outrageous. What kind of man, what kind of person would think of such things? Being frustrated, you blurted out,

“Do you want to break up? Tell me what you want to do San. Because I truly don’t know anymore.”

San looks at you but doesn’t say a word.

“Fine. I’ll go pack my shit.”

While massaging your forehead, you walk past San and go upstairs. After you finished packing, you head downstairs with your carry on suitcase, and slam the door shut, leaving your now ex boyfriend San, alone in the enormous house.

You will not tolerate his behaviour. You simply can’t stay with a man who doesn’t trust you. With quick thinking you decide to stay the night at a nearby hotel.

With some money saved up in your bank account, you would be able to afford staying in the hotel for a little amount of time. So it was very important for you to find a job, as soon as possible.

After checking into the hotel, you take a cold shower to wash away your tears and make up a plan.

You were strong.

You didn’t need a man.

Before you met San, you were a strong, independent women. Not that you aren’t anymore, you just lost your momentum. Now it was your chance to get it back.

Finally your head fills up with positive thoughts and you get out of the shower with a bright smile plastered across your face. The cold water that hit your body and washed away all your tears, triggers your restart button.

Although you couldn’t exactly forget about him, you were still capable of not ever thinking about him. While cleaning your face with cold water and washing your tired, red, puffy eyes, you start to calm down a bit. Your heartbeat became steady and all the negative thoughts floated away. Another breath of relief leaves your lips.

You change into your pyjamas that San had given you.

Well this wasn’t going to be the easiest process. Almost everything you packed was either a gift from San or bought with his money.

Right there and then you made a promise to yourself that you will return all the money he spent on you. It was only fair, which meant you can move on with your life without feeling guilty.

After planning out your next steps you jump onto the mattress and snuggle in. You take your plushie into your arms and hug it since San isn’t here anymore.

Right when you close your eyes your phone lights up, waking you up. You lazily pick it up and see the miss calls and messages San had left you.

107 messages and 36 missed calls

Y/N

Answer your calls

We can fix this

Y/N we can fix this

I’m sorry please come back.

I love you angel

Please we can’t end like this

We were suppose to get married and have kids

Now who am I supposed to get married to?

Y/N please answer my calls

Sweetheart I need to know if you safe

Please I’m so sorry for what I did and said

Sweetie please

Babygirl I miss you

I love you so much please don’t do this to me!

Why aren’t you answering my calls

Are you with another man?

Y/N ANSWER MY FUCKING CALLS GOD DAMIT!

YOU FUCKING WHORE, ALREADY SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER MAN!

WE HAVEN’T EVEN BROKEN UP PROPERLY!

FUCKING ANSWER MY CALLS

I WILL KILL THE FUCKER IF YOU DON’T ANSWER ME!

STOP LEAVING ME ON READ!

CALL ME

ANSWER ME!

STOP BEING A FUCKING CUNT AND COME BACK TO THE HOUSE!

WHEN I FIND-

You put the phone faced down on the nightstand. That message was enough to make you tremble and cry from fear. You bite down on your lip and wipe away your tears.

Your nails go into your mouth and you lay down, thinking that sleep will help. Even though your heart was about to beat out of your chest, you close your heavy eyelids and you drift into a peaceful sleep.

Approximately 3 hours into your sleep, and knocking on the door woke you.

Shit! You forgot to put on the ‘do not disturb sign’

Crawling out of the warm, cozy bed, your feet touch the cold floor and you walk to the door, opening it.

A very big mistake you made. Standing in the doorway is a very angry San. You shut the door and lock it before running into the bathroom.

Shit shit shit, fuck your phone! You left it on the nightstand!

You open the bathroom door and make a run for it to your phone. But you freeze in your tracks when you hear the ‘beep’ the front door makes when it unlocks. You turn around and San walks in and locks the door.

Paralyzed you were. He walked over to you and without a word you pushed you down onto the floor.

You snap out of the phase and snap at him.

“What the fuck? You can’t treat me like a rag doll San. We’re done!”

“No. I’m not done with you until you tell me why your not answering your phone. You always have it shoved up your ass, so tell me why you chose to ignore me.”

Your eyes look on the floor, not wanting to answer. The idea of breaking up will never get into his sick head. It’ll go in one ear and out the other.

“Not responding? Let’s try this again.”

San gets on his knees and pushes you down onto the floor with a hand now around your neck, in missionary position.

“WHY DID YOU IGNORE MY CALLS AND MESSAGES?”

“BECAUSE SAN, IM FUCKING DONE WITH YOU!”

San raises his hand and slaps you across the face leaving a sting on your cheek.

“Don’t you dare fucking yell at me, you brat. You ungrateful, cock slut brat.”

The man grabs the base of your jaw and spits in your whining mouth. His hands pull your thighs up onto him and he grinds his bulge.

San knew how much control he had over you, and used it to his advantage. Whenever he showed any type of loving or caring affection towards you, you would instantly explode.

“You want me to stop?”

“No, please!”

San smirks at you. Hasn’t been 9 hours and you already want him in your pussy.

“Sit on your pretty little knees and wait for daddy’s order.”

Hurriedly, you get up and sit on your knees. You pull your hair back and wait for your daddy’s next orders.

“Good girl. My cute little puppy. I bet if you had a tail in that ass, it would be wagging side to side because you’re that excited to suck my cock.”

He said teasingly with a sly smile spreading across his face.

Your lips pout and you look at him with widened eyes.

“Take your clothes off darling, I wanna see the lingerie you’re wearing.”

Fortunately or maybe unfortunately, you were wearing his favourite lavender lingerie. The design on the bra and underwear was beautiful and fitted your body perfectly.

“Oh darling. Everytime I see you in that lingerie, it keeps getting better and better. I don’t ever think I’ll ever get tired of this view.”

His sweet words wander out of his lips and into your ears, causing you to smile.

“Come to daddy babygirl.”

Your hands go on the floor and you crawl to him with sparkles in your eyes. San scratches you underneath your chin, and brings your hands up to the hem of his pants.

“You do the honours baby.”

You adjust yourself and pull his pants and underwear down, with his help. San brought your face closer to his lower stomach. You were confused on what he was doing, until his cock sprung up and hit your face, startling you.

Tilting your head up, you admire his long, thick, veiny, red cock, that had pre cum dripping down from the tip. You could’ve come right there just by the sight.

“I know my cock’s superior, but it’s not going to suck itself.”

Your hands quickly take a hold of it and roughly strokes it up and down. San runs his fingers through your hair and tilts your head up so he can look at you while you stroke his cock. Your eyes still in contact with San’s you lick his shaft all the way up to his tip.

San rolls his hip, and thrust into nothing. He wanted to whine so badly, but it would make him look weak, which he didn’t like. Having enough of your teasting he pulls your hair back and slaps you across the face, leaving his hand print behind.

“You don’t tease me darling. Take it in or else I’ll put a ginger up your ass. As I recall, you hated that punishment with all your heart.”

He then got closer to your face.

“Don’t make me do it again.”

Both your holes clench, as you remember the severe pain that punishment had caused you. Not wanting to risk it, you shove his seven inch dick down your throat, while playing with his balls. San holds your hair back for you, and praises you for taking him so well. You pop a smile around his cock and your teeth brush against his dick, making him shiver.

Though, you were happy to satisfy him, there was one thing that wasn’t satisfying you. Your daddy was a hard dom and never moans. It always got to your head that you weren’t satisfying him to the fullest. So with a determined mindset, you get in the right position and dig your nails into his thighs. You shove him down your throat and start to suck the life out him. He jolts up and lets out a loud groan, followed by a soft, but sensitive moan.

You start grinding on the air, after hearing his beautiful, sexy moans.

Oh god, what would you have to have your clit touched right now.

The dom's cock starts twitching in your throat and you bring his tip up into your mouth, sucking it until his cum releases.

“No no no darling. Spit it out.”

You tilt your head at san and he cups his hand in front of your mouth. You spit it up in his hands, and he also spits in it. The males other hand pulls your hair back and rubs the cum all over your face. It drips down your neck into your exposed clevage.

“Baby, rub it all over your breast for daddy.”

You take both of your hands and rub the cum all over your tits.

“Good little whore.”

With your face, neck and chest covered in cum, San takes his belt and wraps it tightly around your neck making a two in one collar and leash. He gets up and pulls you with him to the door.

“Daddy where are we going?”

You ask innocently, but deep inside you were petrified.

“Let’s go on a little walk”

He pulls your leash, yanking you across the floor to his feet.

“Crawl on all fours like the good little puppy you are.”

He pats your head and grabs the door card.

“Walk beside me, in sync with my feet okay slut?”

“Okay daddy”

San walks to the elevator where we met our first victim. He looked at us in shock. You keep your head down low, while San started making small talk with the confused and genuinely concerned male. San then bends down to you and tells you to stick your tongue out. You do as told, but he didn’t do anything to you. Instead he just stood up. Your mind puts two and two together and realizes he’s trying to make you act like a dog.

The elevator dings and you both are now in the front lobby, where there was much more people. San looked out for any kids, but when he saw the coast was clear, he walked out like nothing was wrong.

He pulled you to the couches in the lobby, while people stared at your exposed body. San sits down on the couch and you sit on the floor. He sighs, and picks you off the ground slightly and puts his shoe underneath you.

“Fuck my shoe, you thirsty whore.”

He points his toes up, hitting your clit and making you flinch.

“Grind on it you shameless whore.”

You hips starts moving on the tip and your cheeks turn pink from embarrassment. San from behind spanks your ass a couple of times, and you let out soft moans. Your eyes roam around until it makes eye contact with an old man, who was checking you out. He shamelessly takes his dick out and starts to jerk off, coming closer and closer.

You turn your head the other way and let your mind wanders off. You start to think about how you look like. The cum and spit mixture gliding down your face picking up droplets of sweat, before falling onto your breast. The lavender lingerie that was exposing all your private parts. Your red face, that still had san’s handprint on it. Last but not least, the overly tight belt around your neck, that was causing your breath to slow down.

You bring your attention back to the shoe and went a little harder on your clit, until san reaches to your shoulder to make you stop. He sneaks his arms under your armpits then wraps it around your body, pulling you up onto his lap. You feel his face turned to your right, so you also look and see the old man sitting next to you both.

“Can we share,,,,,, please?”

The old man whispers and reaches towards your arm. San stands up with you in his arms.

“No. I can’t. Mind your own business and keep your dick in your pants.”

San carries you to the elevator, where he kept you in his embrace the entire time.

“I'm so sorry sweetheart, are you okay? I didn’t know I’m sorry, are you scared? We can leave.”

The man’s heart aches at the cringe worthy scenario that took place a two minutes ago. He felt so guilty. You didn’t peep a word and only stuffed your face in his chest.

He carries you back to the room and lays you on the bed once he was inside.

“Shall we continue?”

You ask with a teasing smile, and your hands on the hem of you pantie, bringing it down.

“You still want to-”

You crawl to his guilty figure and place a finger on his lips.

“Of course. You can’t just stop there.”

You pull San onto the bed and jump on top of him. His bulge was hard again, and your cunt aches at it. You bounce on his clothed shaft, while undoing the buttons of his shirt. San places his hands onto your hips and lets you enjoy yourself.

You wrap your hand around his throat and grind harder, until your pussy clenches around nothing and you let out a high pitch whine. This was San’s cue. He switches the position, pulls his pants down, and shoves his giant cock, into your warm, wet pussy. He immediately pounds into your g spot making you squeal and squirm under him. Your tears start rolling down your face from the overstimulation.

“Holy shit, sannie baby daddy, fUCKK RIGHT THERE!”

You became a hot mess. Crying and whining under the male, begging him to go faster.

San hushes you and pulls on the belt choking you. Your eyes water up and your face becomes extremely red, until you tap out. He loosens the belt and throws it to the side, while you try and catch your breath.

“Daddy please hit it again.”

San accepts your challenge and hovers over top of your small figure and fucks the life out of you.

“Whore whore whore whore! You wanted this along. Did you really think that I would let you go that easily? Stupid cum fuck”

His hips move in a high speed into you, and he wraps both of his hands around your neck, putting weight on it. Eventually you scream out and burst into tears, feeling your orgasm punching through. Your pussy twitches around his cock and he gives you one last thrust, making you cry all over again.

It almost like your pussy glitches every time San made you cum. You grab onto the bedsheets and cum for your life. Spitting it out all over his cock, your eyes roll back and hips arch because Sans tip was right below your gspot.

“Sannie sannie sannie.”

San pins your hands down and thrust harshly in again, hitting the spot again. Sobs after sobs leave your mouth, and your body starts shaking at the sensitivity. He goes a little faster, and you start to zone out and only hear his balls slapping your cunt.

San leans down and sucks your lips, giving one last thrust making both of you cum. Both of you were now panting inside each other's mouths. His arms snake around your waist and he gets in bed with you still in his arms.

He pulls you close and makes sure you fall asleep before he does. Whispering sweet and caring words his final words made your heart explode.

The sincere “I love you” followed by his goofy smile.

This man..this man right here, was going to be the death of you.

——————————————————————————

To bad I’m not his girlfriend and he’s already the end of me:(

I hope you enjoyed, I’m going to bed now❣️🥺

xoxo

n❣️

#dark kpop #kpop #ateez #ateez san #san smut #ateez choi san smut #ateez choi san #choi san #san #ateez smut #ateez yandere #ateez san smut #ateez reaction #boyfriend ateez #ateez boyfriend #ateez ex #smut #daddy san #kpop smut

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izzehz · 3 years

Text

tw // vent

wonder if i can vent here without anyone knowing about it,, if so that would be so cool and pog. i dont want any of my friends to see these since idk,, i just dont want them to. anyway,, if ik you pls dont read/interact this,, i dont want to deal with your questions and shit,, no offense. recently ive been struggling with my emotions with a certain friend. I’ve liked her for a bit,, i confessed to her recently, which she said she liked me too, but i dont believe her,, i just kinda feel down? she left really quickly once she did,, i think i made her really uncomfy when i confessed and i regret that. we havent really talked since then and i feel like shit. I tried to talk to her on sunday, but it was short-lived and i just,, struggled lol. I hate how ive gained these feelings for her. i feel like i ruined our entire friendship since she doesn’t really talk to me anymore. we dont have the convos we had months ago,, where we would talk for hours. and i feel like we dont since i fucking ruined it. she also texts dryly and sends short messages, which fucks with my head since that tells me that shes not interesting in talking to me. even if it isnt true, i just get insecure and turned off. ever since i started to get these feelings i just ruined everything. i wanna ask her out,, but im afraid of being in a relationship,, plus we don’t talk that much, which kinda turns me off from it. im afraid that she’ll breakup with me too really quickly, since she isn’t ready or something. which is valid, but if thats the case, i dont want to risk my feelings hurting even more. and i recently became friends with this one person,, and theyre super cool,, i can tease the fuck out of them and they can do the same to me,, but i feel like i annoy them. recently they’ve been using more puncuation and smaller and dryer messages and i feel like im just annoying them. and it sucks, since i really like and care for them. i,, just feel like ive been ruining all the friendships/relationships i have because,, im me. i so badly just want to drink alcohol and forget everything. literally everything. i just want to forget myself and become a new person. i want to leave everything behind. im so sick of having to deal with these emotions. school is so fucking hard now and i have no motivation to even continue it. i want to communicate my feelings so badly to people, but i can never do it. due to past experiences,, i just get so anxious and afraid that they’ll shut me down. maybe this is why im posting this post. so i can finally get this shit off of my chest, without, at least hoping, that none of my friends see this since i can’t actually bring it up to them lol. im such a pussy. i hate myself so much and regret every second that i live. this is getting really long lmao but oh well. ive been holding this shit in for weeks and its so strong. i so badly want to cry and just isolate myself from everyone. i want to forget everyone. watch me lose my friends, and her. god,, she has me so fucked up. i love her but,, damn it hurts too. i dont hate her or anything,, i just wish my emotions weren’t like this. theres so much more i could vent about when it comes to my feelings about her, but i wont. in case she does see this i dont want her to think she ruined my life or something. shes made it so much better,, its just the negative things are really consuming my head. if anything, ive noticed this crush is a lot like the crush i had back in 5th grade, for this boy that i loved. he was my bsf too at the time and the timing and situations are way too fucking similar. i never confessed to him tho,, which im sad i didn’t. we probably couldve had something, but i was too much of a pussy to say shit. same with him. at least i wasn’t too much of a pussy with her. but,, the one thing i was afraid of ruining back in the day might be happening now. why is this shit so hard and confusing. wish i could just never get feelings. ive talked a lot about her in this post huh,, jufejf i guess its just been bothering me recently. why do i think everyone hates me? or at least, why do i think that? its so stupid. no matter how much reassurance people give me,, my brain just refuses to believe them. my brain never fucking does. it probably will never either. im hoping that since this post is really long that this will turn people off from reading it. im so afraid of hurting the people i care about in this post,, this is probably another reason why i never vent. i dont want to hurt peoples feelings. i always manage on doing that tho. intentional or not. sorry if my grammar and structure is bad. im stupid lol. lets hope nothing goes to shit when i post this <3

#vent #pls dont read this if ik u #in general i hope people dont read this lol #i needed to get this shit off of my chest #i hate everything

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irameii · 4 years

Text

HEATHER:||: ERIC

Warnings:|| one sided love

Summary: I wish I was her....

A laugh rings throughout the air. One so familiar, you cant help but smiling automatically at the sound. His presence, one that illuminates wherever he goes. Slowly turning around, there he is ,your best friend.

There it is , a smile, a gesture so simple yet it causes a million butterflies to flutter within you and causes your mind to go fuzzy. Its like he doesn't know his own charm or the control he has over you, but no one knows. No one knows the feelings you carry within.

(Idkh these pov thingys work yet sorryy)

Eric: y/n!!!!!!. Eric yells as he jogs closer, and grabs y/n's shoulder y/n: yes Eric?* deep breath* Eric: did you do the homework for math class? * Breathe* y/n: Yeah I did.I actually finished it before class ended yesterday. Eric: you're gonna let me see it right??? *heart beating gets louder* Take a step back Y/n : nope. You should've done it. *starts walking down the hall* Thinking he's wandered off you let out a deep sigh... Knowing if you let him beg enough youd cave in and you knew better. He would never learn this way.and soon enough you could see yourself falling farther and farther into his grasp over time and he didnt even know it. You let out one more sigh before turning around to see Kevin , who cant help but look at you concerned. Kevin: whats wrong y/n?

.. You avoid eye contact. Kevin is one of those people. Someone who can tell when someones upset. He can read you well. So you knew you had to leave quickly. Y/n: I didnt get much sleep last night. So I'm feeling quite off today, its nothing serious. *nervous laughter*

He seems to kind of believe it since he just nods his head as if he can see it apparent on your face.. But something feels off, like he's pretending to believe you for your sake but you just excuse yourself and head towards the bathroom.Totally unaware he hasnt stopped looking your way since turning around as he nods to himself again as if comfirming somthing to himself before turing to head to his own class.

Y/n Pov

*splash*

*in a quiet voice* 'Whats wrong with me..'.. Its like the moment I look at him I cant help it. My heart begins to race, my stomach ends up feeling funny like there are millions of butterflies, and I get nervous and run away each time he gets closer... *Looks back at self in mirror* only if he knew...

(5 min later.)

*sigh* *walks towards math*

Other POV

You sit down before class begins , and there it is again , his laughter, but this time its different. You cant help but turn around to see whats caused the change in his voice, and its like your throat gets caught. Her. The girl he always is talking to you about.It seems like he was finally able to build the courage to talk to her. The one he wants to take to the movies to see his favorite movies with. The one he wants to show his safe places to . The one who keeps him up at night. The one he wants to wear matching clothes with. The one he wants to spend his holidays with. Her. Its her. Guess he didn't need the homework anymore afterall.

You quickly turn back around , trying to keep your emotions in. You feel yourself go colder with each sound. A tightening feeling in your chest builds everytime you hear them laughing . You sigh and breathe in slowly , praying the class ends quickly .

The moment class ended you jolt up quckly and grab your things and head towards your locker for the next class.

Y/n Pov

*sigh* *grabs snack for break*

Eric:y/n!!!

I dont respond.

Eric:y/n? Whats wrong .*looks concerned*

There he goes again.

Nothing Eric i say. He looks in disbelief. Knowing theres something off.

Eric: hmmm.You sure sure?. Hmm Well lets go with the rest of the guys. They are waiting for us for sure. *wraps arm around shoulder*

It was like a sudden new reflex. I didnt mean to. But jerking away from him seemed like the only thing that my body felt like I should do...

The look of surprise on his face made me feel embarrassed I reacted that way. And as soon as it looked like he was going to ask me what was wrong again I speed down the hall.

And there I meet the rest of the guys , thankfully.

New: thank goodness you're here. Look help me out. Changmin keeps saying this chucky doll here is cute... Come get him .

I cant help but laugh. I take a seat next to Sangyeons right side while Juyeon is on my left.

Juyeon looks towards me as i sit and smiles that crescent moon kind of smile. Of course i return it .

Y/n: I dont know about chucky being cute. But his bride is quite a beauty tho.

New:..... You... You two are something else with your horror movies... Like... You know what, forget it. *laughs in defeat.*

Y/n: *dramatic gasps* my oh my you say that like WE'RE the weird ones.🙄👀

Sunwoo and Q: periodt👀👏

Eric finally arrives.

Eric: Guys!! Guess what?

Sunwoo: you did your math homework for once?

Eric:.... Mm well Uh no, i didnt

Sangyeon: you didnt ask y/n for the answers this time?

Eric: no i did, but she said no. I got it from. H/n (her name)

Hyunjae: so thats what it is. You spoke to her?

*breathe*

Eric: yes and guys, like, I think I've maybe got a chance.

There he goes again... Her. Its all her. JUST her...

Jacob: so did you ask her out?

Eric: yeah I did. I invited her to our movie night tonight. I was gonna ask you guys if you guys were cool with it beforehand but I didnt think I would must the courage to.

Juyeon: anything for you to get the girl. We got you

New: IF he gets her. She just doesnt know the headache she's in for.

Sangyeon: Guess all that practice on y/n was worth it.

Practice...

Thats all I was....

He says it smiling towards me , not knowing the hurt his words have just caused subconsciously but I cant smile. Not even a forced one. I just pretend I didnt heard him.

Eric: yeah she told me she actually thought I was dating y/n but of course I could never. We're like siblings.

Ouch...

New: true...

Q: I dont even think eric is y/n's type anyways

I make eye contact with someone who seems to have been watching my every move.

Kevin...

He looks like he is observing everything... From my reactions to my responses.After another 3 seconds he looks away.Not saying a word either.

Everyones laughing. Everyones congratulating him.

Younghoon:y/n?

Everyone turns to face me.oh .

Y/n: hm?

I was too lost in thought. I spaced out.

Sangyeon: What time are you coming by?

Y/n: for what?

Sunwoo: for the movie. We gotta all be Eric's wingman here. He needs all the help we can offer.

Oh.. She will be there too? Can I handle it? Yes? No? No I cant handle it

Y/n: Uh i cant . I have something that just came up. I just remembered.

I lied. And sure enough. I was seen through.

Eric: like what?

Y/n: something

Q: really? What is it? Maybe we can help you out so you can come by and hang out.

Something is snapping within me. I need to leave.

Y/n: no thanks. You guys have fun.

I get up before they give me a response. I cant be around them . not until i get over these feelings. But its harder than i thought. But i dont want to take it out on them either so I should try.

Everytime We'd see each other after that. It was HER. It was either him with her or about her.

Everytime in class, itd be HER.

Every text , HER.

And the guys went along with it.

And everytime , itd hurt. A punch to the heart. And a bit tighter it would feel each time.

And the constant reminder that its just HER and will always be HER..

only if he knew.. I wish I was her.... its like the way he'd talk about her was like he was telling you the reason for his existence, the way his eyes shined when hed see her and then theyd soften when she'd smile at him,the smile he'd have when hed describe her or simply talk about her and trust me he was always proud to, or the way he tried to contain his happiness when she'd come around to speak to him just showed me all i needed to know.

He loved her. She made him happy . Thats all that mattered.

I felt one of those sad smiles form. Because though he was happy . I was not. I dont want to be reminded its not me constantly..so with thaat thought. I call it quits. Until I no longer feel this feeling. I'll distance myself so I can let go properly and move on with time.

I suddenly stopped responding to the gc messages. Slowly started to decline to hang out. But it seems it wasn't a big deal though. She was there eveytime instead.She became apart of everything they did. And with that I started to spend all my time in the library as a way to naturally distance myself. The guys were worried at first. But once i told them I needed perfect scores to get into my dream college, they decided me spending most of my time in the library for it was alright. It was for my other "dream college" so I should put it first they said. For my future they said.And then they also suddenly stopped asking me to hang out.It didnt take long.They also suddenly stopped directing messages towards me in the gc. Personal messages as well. Slowly one by one. We stopped having things to talk about ,like we've become strangers with time.. Now to just glances every now and then, that was all. Other than that, we became just like strangers. Strangers with memories....

Suddenly..

Kevin: y/n...

*Distant laughter*

I turn to look at Kevin.Sensing he had something to say but it wouldnt come out. He looks towards the table and I follow his gaze towards the table full of boys with her in it. I can only smile. I smile when they errupt with laughter at something new and sunwoo said. Happy they're happy. And with that I turn back to Kevin.

I can only smile at Kevin. No words. Just a smile.

The look on his face says he has something to say still present.

For the past 6 months. He would have that same look on his face when I'd walk past him. But hes never actually stopped me.

Kevin: y/n...

And just like that . Suddenly I'm wrapped in a warmth I didnt think I missed. And it's like it went quiet..and the sound of sniffling fills my ears , and his hold gets tighter. Oh Kevin..

THE END.

Authors note: Maybe I can male a Pt2? This one turned out bad tbh .

I did not edit this but i will later onnnn thank youuuuuu

#the boyz scenario #the boyz eric #the boyz #the boyz oneshots #the boyz angst #the boyz onesided love #the boyz kevin

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randomsevans · 4 years

Text

The habit part 2

@jtargaryen18 30daysofchris2020

'How could you let your self be so foolish ' you kept telling yourself all night along .With the tears, throwing pillows (anything you could get your hands on ) around . Needles to say , you didnt get any sleep again and you see if being that way for a while .

After a long day of advoiding Steve in the gym , you dont think you have ever worked out more in your life , your knuckles were close to bleeding, many times Bucky had to keep telling you to stop. It wasnt till night fell you could truly let your emotions out . It wasnt till you caused a loud sound that echoed though the tower , when you though your lamp . When Nat and Bucky came to your room and looked after you again .

The morning air was quite and cold , Nat and Buck had went to go and get breakfast as you stayed your room to get change . You felt numb as if your soul was gone . You dont know why you feel like this, you cant help it , but it's not like you two were anything . You were just stuiped to catch feeling for something he probably seen has he being nice . That why it makes it feel so worst , you cant be mad . How can you ? Its Steve the most kindest human with those stuiped blue eyes . The only person you should be mad at is your self .

Turning a corner you felt half asleep . In zombie mode . You were looking at your feet which were slowly making there way forward when you collided with a wall and fell straight on your ass . "God ,y/,n you in there ? Someone tired this morning?" Arrr great clint , your never gonna live this down

"Ass !" You said getting up.

"Well you just fell on yours " clint laught walking into the kitchen "ha guy ,guess I didnt know we had a zombie in the compand?" He shouted annoyingly to group of people that were all around the table as he sat down .

You begin to walk over not amused by Clint or anyone , when you notice there was no seats left . Everyone was in there own conversation, talking about the most stuiped morning shit . You quickly glance maybe there might be one seat . No none . You looked at steve he had the biggest smile on his face, laughing as hes arm was behind Sharon was was snug against his side smiling. In your seat . Your chest tightened again . But you didnt know what more for a the fact no one saw you, Sharon and Steve or that fact . YOUR seat was taken . You have never felt so alone and pushed out of the group like you dont belong. There were all happy, your dark mood would just worsen their day , if they even knew you were there .

You turned to the kitchen and got a bowl , some cereal you randomly picked up . And turned around to walk out the room . As you left you heard to echoes of laughter as you made your way back into your room with clouded eyes . It wasnt till you reached outside your room you looked at the bowl . You forget the milk . 'Wow y/n good . Oh what the fuck I'm not even hungry!'you thought as you though the bowl toward the wall opposite your door . You just watched it smash into pieces, going all over the follow , watching the cereal slip every where ,bouncing along the corridor . You just stared at it , feeling numb , not even feeling bad for making a mess you are not going to clean up . You just thought what a symbol for your heart . Your not even sure you have one anymore .

You entered your room , slowly as if you were scared to move to fast .

"Friday " you called out .

"Yes Miss y/l/n ?"

"Dont let anyone in my room ..." you began " if anyone even comes looking " you whispered the last part .

"Do you intend to stay in here to day miss ."

"Yes I'm staying "

"Are you sick ?"

"Of life " you mumbled "no I just want to stay in here " you said more firmly.

"But miss you have training with Captain Roger's at 10 am "

"Cancel it ! ... in fact cancel all my sessions with him , change it to either Barnes or Romanoff!"

"Cancel ! ... Captain Roger's has been informed and his new partner will be miss Carter under his request " she announced , now that stings " I'm sorry miss but Barnes and Romanoff already booked their session and theres no changing.."

"I'll do it my self then .."

"M'sorry miss you cant ..."

"I can !"

"Its not saf....."

"It doesnt matter anyway Friday , I'll do it my self , Its not big deal , and if anyone ask I'm out !"

"Okay miss "

Silence. Silence fill the room , bring pain to your ear drums . You walk toward your bed and lift the covers and plop your self in between the cover , pulling the blanked over your head . You let out a loud sob as your head hit the pillow , mufling the sound as cold tears stream down your hot cheeks . You feel like you cant breath between the weight of the sheets over your head and your sobbing.

This was your new habit

You feel your eyes become heaving as your breath become even more irregular and tear ducts dry , you felt your mind wonder into darkness .

○●○○●○○●○○●○○●○○

'BANG!'

You jumped a wake , 'god what time is it?' Your mind was pounding much like the door , adrenaline though your veins

"Y/n ?" Bucky , okay so you know that voice . Your mind still fuzzy from walking up

"What's going on ?" You hurned another voice outside 'Tony ?' You think

"Is everything okay ?" Your heart stopped ' Steve ?'

"NO ITS NOT !" You heard Nat .'god is the whole team outside.

"What the matter " great Sharon

"Nothing to concern you " bucky anger shown in his voice .

"Ha Buck calm down no need to be like that to my girl " Steve defended .

"Oh fuck off would ya " Bucky shout " y/ n please open up !"

"Bucky calm down " Tony yelled over Bucky ."Friday open the door "

"I'm sorry sir I cant "

"What ! "

"Dont you think we've tried that tony "Nat now sounded worried "y/n I know your in there "

"Miss y/n is out " Friday said .

"See she out ! No need to be like this " steve

"No she hasn't left the compand I check to carma s , have you even seen her today ?" Natasha now sounds on the verge of tears , while you sat still on your bed scared to move.

"No .. no I havnt , she cancel our session " Steve voice wavered in panic " is shes okay?"

"Maybe shes sick , Friday is y/n sick ? " Tony ask .

"Of life sir " Friday respond ,great she heard that.

Gasp were heard out side , you ran into the bathroom scared as if you were a child in trouble you sat your self on the floor, knees tucked under your chin , rocking back and forth , more tears rolling down , how is more tears even possible at this point?

More ponding at the door. "Y/n please tell me you haven't done something stuiped ?" Bucky sounded as if he was near to crying , with considnt pouncing at your door . "Please!!" He shouted at the top of his lungs " open the door "

"She just probably being dramatic " you heard sharon wining voice .The next thing your heard was a loud shudder as somthing hit the floor , followed by screams of "NAT ! " "ROMANOFF!" "NATASHA !"

"Say that again and I'll kill you "

"Nat stop " steve switch to his cap voice "open the door y/n .. come on this isn't funny "

"Leave now "Bucky challenged Steve .

"No not until I know shes okay !" Steve challenged Bucky .

"She will be when you leave !"

"But ..." Steve began

"Why do you even care ?" Bucky shouts

"Because I lo....."

"Steve please " you heard sharon crying.

"Oh babe ...come on .. Nat apologise!"

"Over my dead body ... now every one leave " nat voice filled with authority.

"Okay !" Followed by foot steps heading the other direction.

"Y/n everyone's left it's just me and Buck , open up , we ain't mad just worried open up please or at least let us know your okay?"

Silence . You dont know how long . But it was just silent .

In a low whisper your voice barely cracking though the thick abosant of sound " friday inform them I'm okay "

"Of course miss " friday respond.

Silence again . Once again you wernt able to measure the amount of time due to your fuzzy mind .

"Okay. Come out when your ready , eh ? Just know your not going to push us away " bucky said

"And what did a bowl of cereal ever do to you eh " Natasha let out a small laugh . Which caused you to make a small chuckle.

You found strength and wonder to your door slowly ,pulling it open to reveal two very red eyed worried assistant. You wander how you can make two of the most deadly people in the world near to tears .

"It didnt have milk" you put on a small innocent smile .

Bucky grinning down at you with Natasha on his side even smiling more . "There she is "

#captain america #chris evans #steve rogers #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #steve rogers au #fanfic #comics #steverogers #steve rogers x reader #30daysofchris2020

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princecupcakee · 4 years

Text

Park Bench | Reddie

Read on AO3

Rating: E

Pairing: Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak

Word Count: 3,320

Chapter: 3/8

Past Chapters: Chapter 1 (AO3), Chapter 2 (AO3)

Next Chapters: Chapter 4 (AO3)

Summary: Recently divorced and ‘incapable of love’, Eddie Kaspbrak moves to Los Angeles for work and a small, small hope of a fresh start. Broken up and never dated again, Richie Tozier tries to get back into love with help from his love of music. Quickly meeting eyes and one concert later, they think that maybe love isn’t that bad. So they try it one more time.

Chapter 3: Richie Tozier At The Movies, Eddie Kaspbrak With His Thoughts & Richie Tozier With His Guitar

Tags/Warnings: Angst / Unhappy Ending / theres only one sex scene but this is explicit anyway / Bisexual Richie Tozier / Gay Eddie Kaspbrak / Post-Divorce / Implied/Referenced Cheating / Inspired By Remembering Sunday (All Time Low) / Inspired by The Book Ninja by Ali Berg / Implied/Referenced Child Abuse / Implied/Referenced Abuse / Implied/Referenced Manipulation

Tag-list: @richietoaster , @s-s-georgie , @mikeuris , @gazebobullshit , @that-weird-girls-blog , @tozierking , @thoughtfullyyoungduck , @s-onora , @bellarosewrites , @lermanslogan , @ambitiousskychild , @ghostnebula , @vanillaredvelvet ,

(Ask if you wanna be on the tag-list!!)

Chapter 3

Richie Tozier At The Movies

After bringing Eddie home that morning he set out for his next vinyl-date (the name was a work in progress) before going to his sister’s house. He tried to have his head in it, he did, but all throughout the car ride, he couldn’t think straight. He wondered how Eddie was, what he was doing on his day off. He couldn't think of anything even when he had already gotten there. He needed to focus, he wanted to, but he couldn’t stop his head from floating into the clouds.

So when he walked into the movie theatre, he knew he should’ve just stayed home. Alex looked amazing and Richie knew that, but that didn’t really help. They’d picked a new action movie that was heard to have a song from the record in its soundtrack. By that time, he had dropped over 30 records on the local subway, have gotten multiple emails from music lovers like himself, and gone on quite a few dates already. A few memorable ones were Will, a man from Hawkins getting over a lost love, had talked a little too much about said lost love. The two decided to stay as friends. After that was a date with Theo, a New Yorker in search of a painting and person. Similar to Will, in search of his lost love, they’ve decided to stay friends as well. Now, Alex, a writer from New York City who moved to LA two years ago in search of new love, had messaged him after he dropped, ‘Appetite For Destruction.’

“Hi! Richie, yeah?” Alex smiled at him, holding a bowl of popcorn and two drinks. Richie nodded as politely as he could as he thought, ‘why doesn’t Eddie have the same accent?’ “Cool,” Alex hummed, “lets go?” “Sure.”

Richie was glad they went to the movies. It was dark and loud, and your excuse to not pay attention to your date is staring intensely at the screen to look like your focused on it. So, for ninety long minutes, he plotted about the easiest ways to get out of this date. ‘I have a dentist’s appointment’ sounded a bit too rude and overdone to him, ‘I have to take care of my niece and nephew’ was true, but sounded pretty useless. From the 90 minutes, he was able to think up nothing.

“That was a nice movie,” Alex began, smiling at Richie. “Yeah, it really was,” Richie smiled, “but, uh, see, I gotta run." “sure,” Alex waved, slightly annoyed. Richie turned around didn’t look back.

Richie sat in the backseat of his car, staring at its ceiling. He started this to find love, to move on from what happened with Connor, and breathe. But now its seems like a waste of time to him. He can’t even focus on a date without just leaving to sit around in his car. And for what reason? He didn’t even know. He’s getting all of the chances that he didn't get but he’s just throwing them away. He’s just leaving and wasting. Maybe he just doesn’t get that chance. Maybe he just shouldn’t.

He checks his phone for the time and squishes to the front of the car. He didn’t need the stereo, he needs something going for him, no matter how deafening. Drumming a steady beat on to the steering wheel, “Robert’s got a quick hand.” Finishing the first verse, he turns his keys and drives out of the space. “All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,” he swayed his head side to side slightly driving over to Annie’s house.

Eddie Kaspbrak With His Thoughts

Eddie laid down on his bed checking the large, fancy clock hanging above his head, 2:30 PM. After the magnificent sunrise he witnessed with one, handsome, charming, funny, surprisingly smart Richie Tozier, he went home. Richie winked and said ‘wait’ after he brought Eddie back, and of course, that sent the shorter of the two in a bit of a craze.

He’d never felt this. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. It was strong and wouldn’t let him breathe and made his heart explode. When he laughed, when he sang, when he smiled, Eddie couldn’t keep his mind off Richie. It wasn’t like this with Myra. How could it have been? She was there, to keep him alive, not let him live. ~ “Eddie-bear, have you taken your pills yet? You know, you’re mother called me last week, reminding me that you have a seafood allergy, why did you never tell me about that? I’m your wife, Eddie. I’m supposed to know these things about you! What if you ate something that made you sick? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, Eddie! Do you want that? Do you want me to be in pain?” ~ But with Richie everything seemed, brighter. He never said anything Myra did, he never forced Eddie to do something he never wanted to do, he never put words into Eddie’s mouth. ‘It’s clearly too early though, I mean four days? Can you fall in love in four days?’ Eddie dropped his urge to Google that, not wanting to get up (or be disappointed if no, you couldn’t fall in love in four days.) He was never strong. Physically, emotionally, he had always lost. He was never brave. He was the one that sat on the sidelines, afraid to see what’ll happen. Afraid to listen to what he wants. Was that because of his mother, or Myra, or him? He never really wanted to find out.

Sonia was controlling, she watched Eddie’s every move, didn’t let him do anything. Sonia introduced the two, and Eddie thought he had to fall in love. When Eddie married Myra, he thought that maybe he would be slightly freer. He was very visibly wrong. She wasn’t any different from his mother. After 15 years of being married, he realized hoe abusive his mother was, how he didn’t want that marriage anymore, and how more appealing men are to women. He told Myra the night he filed their divorce, all she did was leave the room. She left the room to call his mother. ~ “Don’t you just love her, Eddie? She’s smart, she’s kind, she’s responsible, and she knows how to take care of you! You were such a mischievous child back then, when you played with that stuttering friend of yours, he was such a bad influence on you. Isn’t he… queer? I can’t even say the word. Disgusting. You shouldn’t have been friends with him, Eddie. Are you still friends with him? You must get him out of your life immediately, Eddie! I don’t want my Eddie-bear being like him.” ~ But what if he was in love? What if he was in love with a man? A man he’d only known for four days? Eddie sighed, fighting back tears. He didn’t need this. He shouldn’t be doing this.

He walked out of his room, feeling as if he can’t breathe there. But this is Los Angeles. This isn’t home. He walked down the long hallways heading down the stairs back to the library. Why had he come here? He didn’t know either or, he did, just didn’t want to say it. Eddie took a vinyl from the bottom of the shelf, ‘Never Trust A Happy Song’ in a small font above ‘Grouplove.’ He didn’t know any songs on it, but he figured anything would be better than being trapped in silence with his own memories.

He tried to mimic Richie’s moves from before, failing quite a few times. He winced at the loud sound of what seemed to be the end of a song. ‘Take me to your best friend's house, roll around this roundabout, oh yeah,’ played in the- Eddie really needed to Google what that thing was, ‘can you fall in love in four days?’ Rang in his head once again, forcing him to put his phone down and take a seat in the large chair before him.

He wondered what Richie was doing, why’d he had asked him to ‘wait’ and then leave. He wondered if maybe Richie had fallen in love before. If maybe Richie felt how he did. He wasn’t supposed to, that was sure, but he wanted to. He wanted to know the feeling of loving and being loved, maybe he had, maybe Myra was the feeling of loving and being loved. Or maybe it was Richie. Eddie wouldn’t know. He had hoped it would be Richie though. That made him smile, nothing like what he had gone through with Myra.

But it was also his fault. It may have done him good but it was still wrong. He may have needed it but that still wasn’t acceptable. He did do it. He wasn’t being responsible, he wasn’t being right. He did owe Myra something for what he did. He could’ve done it simpler, and not ruin his marriage in the most unnecessary way there was. He had to go to that bar, that night. ‘Somethings are too good to pass’ he tried to make a good excuse, but he knew it wouldn’t have worked. He was right.

But he didn’t owe Myra his life or his heart, he owed her an apology, a divorce, and something that would have been better for both of them. And what was better for both of them was leaving. It wasn’t exactly leaving New York, it was just leaving, no longer in each other’s lives and forget. Forgetting has always been much easier than actually facing your problems. Forgetting left things there, not having to see them anymore and not thinking. Forgetting meant, even for a little while, nothing can be any worse.

‘Don’t take me tongue tied, don’t wave no goodbye,’ He’d never heard this song before, but something about it made him feel like he did. Maybe, if he tried hard enough, something about it would make him feel like he knew himself, too.

Richie Tozier With His Guitar

He rang the doorbell, running to the side of the porch to not be seen. He crouched below the window and as if on cue, a little girl pushed the curtains away and looked out the window. “I know thats, you Richie!” A little girl said, opening her front door. “Aw, how’d you know that Maddie?” He said, ruffling her hair. “Mommy said you were coming,” she said putting her hands on her hips. “Just you and Walter today?” “Yup!” “Alright, go get your brother, I’ll be in the living room. Your mom’s gonna be calling any second now,” he said as he watched Maddison walk up the stairs and call her brother.

Richie walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch, moving the guitar from his back to the floor. Just as he predicted, his sister rang the phone, “I’m already here Annie. They’re getting their guitars, we’re playing stuff today.” “Thanks, Rich. I owe you,” she sighed gratefully over the phone. “No problem. I missed these goblins anyway.” “Okay, thank you so much, I have to go. Mom’s gonna be there soon. Oh and tell Walter to help Maddie with her painting, she gets really unhappy when he doesn’t and-“ “I know this already, go.” “Thank you, Richie.” “Your my sister, its my job,” Richie laughed and put the phone down.

“We’re here!” Maddison smiled, brother in tow. “Hi uncle Richie,” Walter said softly, sitting by Richie’s feet with knees against his chest.

He was two years older than Maddison, the same age gap him and Annica had. Maddie was five while Walter was seven. The two were fairly opposite, Walter preferring to keep to himself while Maddie was outgoing and social. Outside of her sister, he raised them. Annie was a good mother, but being a single one, she didn’t have it any easy either. Her husband died less than three years ago from an accident. Thats why he came over more and took care of her kids more. It didn’t help that the whole problem with Connor rose in the time of this and him having a responsibility to not fuck up kids left him out of it for a while. Until he was just angry, he never took it out on anyone, that he made sure of, but he was just angry at love. Maddie and Walter were a help though, it made him forget. Forgetting is much easier than confronting, its like painting over graffiti like it was never there.

“What are we playing today?” Maddie asked, leaning her head to the side exaggeratedly. “What’s a song you guys want?” Richie asked looking back and forth between the two. Walter stood up, walking to the small shelf that sat by the TV. He walked back with a cassette tape in hand. A paper was stuck on to the tape, and in small letters and font, ‘Tongue Tied - Grouplove’ written on it. Richie smiled kindly at him, “How do you know this song?” He simply shrugged and urged him to take the tape. “Lets play it then,” Richie nodded while picking up his guitar. Walter held breath to say something, Richie having to give him permission before he did. “I already know the beginning. C-could you teach me the middle?” “Which part?” “After the second chorus.” “Sure. Anyone wanna sing?” “Can I sing with you? Like, you're gonna sing and I’m gonna sing too, both of us sing!” Maddie said excitedly with big hand gestures (Richie wondered if part of that was his doing. He assumed that it probably was.) Richie nodded, “one two three four,” G. “Don’t take me tongue tied,” G. Then, C. “let’s stay up all night,” He sang with Maddie. “I'll get real high.” Richie sang as Maddie shook her head. Despite Richie’s smile, a dark room, broken glass, smoke, tears, screaming, flood his head. ‘Fuck! Can’t I do anything right?’ He cried that night. “Slumber party, pillow fight,” The two sung in harmony again, “My eyes and your eyes, Like Peter Pan up in the sky,” Maddie sang bringing her hand up above her head to mimic Peter Pan flying. Walter and Richie laughed. “My best friend's house tonight,” Richie sang. ‘Stan? You there? Look, I-I need a place to stay. I’ll tell you about it when I’m there. Yeah… yeah, Th-thanks.’ “Let's bump the beats till beddy-bye,” Richie smiled, despite fighting back tears. ‘Connor. Connor. Connor.’ He thought. “Don’t take me tongue tied,” Richie sang. ‘Eddie. Eddie. Eddie.’ He thought, the tears behind his eyes, drying away, “Don't wave no goodbye.”

By the time they had sung three songs, Maggie and Wentworth were already at the door. He said his goodbyes and walked back to his car. Hearing the first song back again in his head, his breathing sped. He threw his head back and whispered to himself, “Breathe, Richie. breathe.” He thought about how uncomfortable and disgusted Connor looked when he got down on one knee. He remembered how Connor screamed at him, how Connor mocked him for thinking that he actually loved Richie the way Richie did for him. ‘Please.’ ~ “What? What the fuck?” Richie thought he was just surprised. “Dude, gross. I wouldn’t marry a man. That’s fucking gross. Look, man. I have a girlfriend, we aren’t fucking together. Thats so fucking weird.” “but I- I thought-“ “Thought what? That we were together? Fucking gross. Get out.” ~ Richie turned on his stereo. Anything is better than this. He didn’t need to cry, he didn’t need to listen to whatever the fuck was going on in his head. He doesn’t need to stay, he can leave.’ Please, don't let me down,’ the radio played loudly. Richie thought it was weird, songs like these weren’t on the radio, but he sang along anyway. “Please, don't let me down, You better come around,” he softly sang against the loud radio. He never liked his voice much. He used it for comedy, for words he didn’t want to say. He didn’t know how to describe it, but he felt as if he just shouldn’t sing, he sounded better doing impressions anyway. Although some people like it, like Walter and Maddie, he wondered if Eddie liked it too. “You save yourself, I'll save myself each time around,” he sang louder, trying to catch what his voice sounded like. ~ “Stan? You there? Look, I-I need a place to stay. I’ll tell you about it when I’m there.” “You can always stay here Richie. Don’t worry,” Stan sounded like he already knew. Richie guessed everybody saw it coming. “Yeah… yeah, Th-thanks.’ Richie tried not to break into tears. ~ He was going to go drive to Eddie. He was horrified, but he was gonna go to Eddie. As much as he would hate to admit it, he needed him. Needing Eddie to love him, thats debatable but needing for Eddie to be around him, he knew he really did need it. He hoped maybe Eddie needed him too. “You save yourself, I'll save you too next time around,” he sang. When Eddie smiled up at him he didn’t know if he could breathe. It was never like this with Connor. With Connor he always wondered who the woman that left their apartment was, with Connor, he always got shouted at and argued with. With Eddie, he smiled, his heart raced, his stomach churned and it was never like it was with Connor. “I'm not around, I haven't been here for a while,” he sang, the electric feeling coursing through his veins.

“You know I'll never be back now,” He shouldn’t break his own heart. Connor’s gone. He’s not coming back, and Richie’s thankful for that. With Connor gone, maybe someone else will stay. Maybe Eddie will. Richie smiled at the thought of it.

He ignored the nagging feeling of possibly not being loved back— again.

#reddie #reddie fic #it #it chap one #it chap two #remembering sunday + the book ninja au

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dobrikswriting · 5 years

Text

Broken

Request: Request: Can you write an image about David where the reader and him used to date but it ended badly, so the reader goes home (somewhere far like on the east coast) and tries getting over him. Because their relationship was public, her friends turn on her, so the reader tries to kill themselves and David finds out. Something soft and edgy

Keep the requests coming :)

TW: Suicide

"I don't think I can do this anymore." I said finally after about an hour of arguing. I don't even remember what started the fight but lately it seemed like we didn't need a reason to start going at each others throat.

"So you're just done with us then?" David said rolling his eyes. "Just giving up. That's so like you y/n" He scoffed.

"What are you talking about David?!" I shouted back, anger had worn off and I was just tired and drained and hurt. "I'm not giving up I am holding on to you for dear life but you can't be bothered to make any time for me at all. What am I even giving up on there isn't even a relationship here anymore all you care is about is your vlogs and your friends." I said tears starting to well up in my eyes as I looked at the man that once held all the happiness in my life. I loved him. But I was tired of feeling like I was the only one putting work into the relationship.

"Whatever it's my job do you like living the way you do?" He said not even looking in my direction. "I think you're right lets just end this." He said, no emotion in his voice as he got up from the couch we were sitting on and leaving to his room shutting the door behind him. I sat on the couch for a couple minutes. There was a part of me that was happy to be done with the fighting and almost optimistic of what the future could hold without having the pressure of the fans and the public. But most of me was sad. I don't know how we let it get to this point, we used to be the best couple. We used to make time for each other and we used to clear our days just to see one another. Now I was lucky if I got an hour alone with him once a week. I picked up my bag and walked out of the once familiar house that now just held a lot of memories I no longer wanted to remember. Not even the good ones. My heart ached and I just wanted to forget David all together.

-- 2 weeks later --

I unloaded the last box from my dads truck, setting it down and looking at the small apartment and thinking of ways I could make it feel more like home. "I'm glad to have you home sweetheart." My dad said pulling me in for a hug and kissing me on my forehead. I looked up at him and I know he could see the hurt inside me. That man has known me like the back of his hand all 22 years I've been alive. "I know it's hard right now but remember who you are. You don't need anyone to you special. You do that all on your own. Be young and have fun." He said pulling me closer before letting me go. "I gotta get back home but let me know if theres anything I can do for you. We'll do dinner tonight okay? I love you"

"Okay I love you too Dad." I replied and giving him the most convincing smile I could before he left me and I could drop the act.

Once I was alone I sat down on the floor looking around at the apartment. It was small but it would do. I never thought I'd have to move back to New York. I never thought I'd have to live alone or be alone again, but here I was and I was so truly alone. After the break up I thought I would get a clean cut from life and get a new start. That was far from the truth. When David and Liza broke up they did it in the perfect way where no one was at fault and this is what was best for them both, but for David and I it was a completely different story. I was just gone, and not mentioned except to be the butt of some jokes. No one tried to make it seem like it was mutual or that we both did things wrong. No one out right said I was a bad person but the second we broke up the fans ate it up and ran with it. Everyone thought I was this monster and of course thought that i treated David horribly or cheated or something. It wasn't even worth it to stand up for myself.

I had thought moving home would help to be around people that knew me before David people that were MY friends. But when I made the decision to leave LA I texted a couple people I thought would be happy and I either got no reply or a half hearted one. Its sucked being the less liked person out of a break up.

I stood up not wanting to think about it anymore and started on the unpacking. While I was doing that I texted a couple friends hoping we could get together and have drinks since I got back. I unpacked for about another hour before going to check my phone thinking I would have a couple replies but there was nothing. I sighed and laid down on my bed, as I watched the ceiling fan move in circles and thinking about what I was going to do I saw my phone light up out of the corner of my eyes, I perked up hoping it was a text.

"New Video From David Dobrik" The youtube notification read. I hadn't turned them off yet. Something in me liked to watch them. I liked to see him being happy and having fun that was the David I fell on love with. It seemed like the breakup hadn't phased him at all. I started to watch the video until I couldn't see anything any more because the tears had completely blurred my vision. He was so happy and I'm falling apart. I had never felt so small.

How was it so easy for him to just move on and go about his day and pretend I never existed. How was it so easy for people who were supposed to be on my side who were supposed to me friends and my support system to completely turn their backs on me when no one knows the story. No one knows what happened but they're all so ready to believe some trashy internet article rather than me. I completely broke down. I hadn't cried at lot after the break up and it feel like my body was holding it all in for this very moment. I had never felt more alone. I cried until my body just shut down and I closed my eyes and fell asleep, my eyes no longer able to keep themselves open.

I woke up with a pounding headache, and a little disoriented. I looked around and reached for my phone. One text from my dad fifteen minutes ago.

"Dinner in an hour sound good?" I quickly replied that I would be over soon. I had only slept for an hour and I still felt so exhausted. I got up and went to the bathroom to get some advil for my head before I realized it hadn't been unpacked yet. I sighed and started to sift through all the bathroom boxes to find it. I had found my makeup, hair supplies and skin care products but no advil. I opened the next box that thankfully did have the advil but something else caught my eye more. The orange prescription bottle that was full of small white pain killers. I had completely forgotten about the medicine from both mine and davids wisdom teeth removal. We didn't use most of the pills and we combined the two bottles into one after when we had to travel shortly after the surgery, wanting to have them just in case. I picked the bottle up and for a second I thought to myself that this was the dumbest idea I ever. The idea to take all them right now.

But a bigger part of me wanted to take them so badly. It seemed like the answer that felt the best. The answer that would cause me least amount of pain. Just to be gone. I had already seen how easy it was for people to forget about me and move on so who would I really be hurting. I had always struggled with depression my whole life going off and on anti-depressants after I tried to hurt myself when I was in high school. Since I had moved to LA I had been able to keep myself on track with therapy and taking my medication but that hadn’t been happening lately.

I didn't take time to think everything through I just grabbed a glass of water and threw back a couple of pills with each gulp. I didn't keep track of how many I was swallowing I just kept going until the bottle was empty. I slowly walked out to my disorganized living room sitting on the cheap couch and laying my head back. A sense of peace washed over me thinking everything would be over soon. No tears, just memories going through my head.

My high school graduation, with all the people I thought would always have my back. I thought back to the first time I met David, a loud club with people dancing and music playing but I remembered the first time I saw him my world stopped. I smiled as the memory washed over me. I couldn't help but think how it would of been different if our lives weren't public. I could feel my stomach start to turn and my body starting to reject the contents I had filled it with. I focused harder the memories flashing through my head. A few tears welled in my eyes thinking about my dad and how much this would hurt him. Ever since my mom left when I was three it was me and him against the world. Even when he got remarried and had my little half brother, there was a bond between us that no one else would ever come close to. I hoped he would understand.

After a while my body started to go into panic mode as the drugs started to do the damage I had intended them to do. My brain was calm though and as my world started to break down around me I tried to find my happiest memory. The best thing I could think of to be the last time I ever think of. Davids face wouldn't get out of my head and all I could think of was the very first time we said I love you. We had just gotten back from filming a bit with Jonah's family and we were sitting on the couch, David had his headphones in and was focused on editing, I was about to go home so I kissed him on the cheek to say good bye and as I went to turn around he grabbed my hand. I looked back at him and he was looking at me with more love that I than I thought anyone would ever have for me. "I love you." He said softly. I can't explain how happy and loved I felt in that moment. I wanted to stay trapped in that memory forever. I remembered over and over again how his hair fell when he ran his hands through it, always perfectly messy. How good he looked in glasses, and how my heart raced when he looked at me with that little grin when he was slightly biting his tongue. I remembered everything, until I could remember nothing. And everything went black.

----

(David's POV)

I looked out the window as the plane landed, anxious to be able to get off the plane and get to New York. The last day had been a blur I almost don't remember how I got here. It started with Erin calling about a weird snapchat story she saw y/n's brother had posted and then finding out she had tried to kill herself. Thinking about what was going through her head to make her come to that solution made me sick to my stomach.

To think I played a part in her thinking made me feel like I shouldn't have jumped on a plane to see her. I should of left her alone and let her family take care of it and kept myself as far away from her as possible. She deserved better. But I couldn't I had to tell her how much she meant to me and how it would destroy me if something happened to her. The past few weeks without were the worst of my life. I hadn't talked to anyone about why we broke up, i think i just didn't want to admit that I was the bad guy in the situation. That I had fucked up and was focusing too much on things that didn't really matter and not enough on the one thing that was my escape from the world. The one person that had my back so much that I became used to it. I became used to it and I felt comfortable and all the things she did for me instead being grateful for them I started to expect her to do them. And when she left I realized the giant hole that was in my life without her, but i felt like I had no place in asking for her back. She deserved someone that always knows her worth not someone has to lose her to realize it.

The ride to her house felt like it was 10 hours long, hitting every stop sign, I wanted to scream at the uber to run every light. But I just kept my calm preparing myself for what I might be walking into. I don't know if she was even going to be there or going to let me talk to her but I had to try. It took a lot of convincing to her her brother to give me her address after he told she had already been released from the hospital and I needed to see her.

My uber pulled over outside of run down apartments. They looked dark and not the welcoming environment y/n usually surrounded herself with. I quickly got out and started walking to the entrance, walking down the hall searching for her apartment number. I stopped in my tracks as I saw her apartment. I took a couple deep breaths as I knocked on the door, I heard movement and was happy to see there was no peep hole on her door so she wouldn't know it was me and ignore me. I heard the latch on the door unlock and it opened.

I almost didn't recognize her. She looked so different, tired and like she hadn't been eating. She had no emotion on her face until she realized it was me then she instantly moved to slam the door which I caught with my hand.

"Please just give me a couple minutes." I pleaded.She didn't even look me in the eye as she threw her hands in the arm and just walked back into her living room. I took that as an invitation and walked in shutting the door behind me.

"It's nice in here." I said looking around her new home, it was nice, but not as warm and inviting that her last place had been.

"Why are you here?" She asked sinking into the couch.

"I just wanted to see and make sure you're okay. Your brother told me what happened and I was worried." I said not sure if I could sit next to her so I decide to just stand. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know why he thought it was okay to tell you anything about me but I think you already know the answer to that question David." She spat back at me. "No I'm not okay but I don't need your pity party, I don't need you to pretend to care about me so you feel better about yourself so you can go back to your awesome life in LA and not feel like you had anything to do with what I did." She said finally making eye contact with me for the first time. I had never seen her eyes look so hurt.

"That's not why I'm here." I replied. "I'm here because I do care, I needed you to know that if you think i don't care about you, thats wrong. If you think I wasn't affected by you leaving, that couldn't be further from the truth. I had to interrogate your brother to figure out what happened he didn't want to tell me but I needed to know. I needed to know that you were okay and I needed to see you." I said looking away from her. I couldn't stand that I played any part in making her like this.

"Look David that's thoughtful. Thank you for checking on me. You can leave now. I'm alive I didn't actually kill myself, your conscious can be cleared. Now you can go back pretending I never existed, like you have been since I left." I could hear the hurt in her voice as she replied back to me.

"I messed up. I should of never let you leave that day. I should of told you I care. I should of made changes so you could see that I care. I should of never let you feel like I didn't care to begin with. My life isn't the same since you left. And I needed to see you and tell you that I love you with my whole heart and I'm sorry." I replied back hoping she could feel the sincerity in my voice.

"Everyone turned against me. You just went about life as normal with your friends to distract you but I had no one." She said, my heart started to get tight as I realized my actions went beyond what I could imagine. "You didn't think to clear the air? You didn't think to mention that us breaking up wasn't my fault and that I had been trying for month!" She shouted. "Everyone left me because of you. I have no one."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't talk about you. I couldn't admit that I was the fucking idiot that lost the best thing that I've ever had." I moved closer to sit down next to her. "You have people in your life that care about you and I'm sorry for anything I did to cloud that. Y/n when I found out that you...... when I found out what happened all I could think about is that in that moment I would throw my whole career away for you to be okay. I don't care about it. Not like I care about you." I said I could feel tears start to form in my eyes, now that I was sitting next to her I could smell her perfume, the same one she always wore. It had an oddly comforting effect and I just wanted to reach out and hold her.

"That's nice and all David but it's too late." She said I could feel her start to get up."Please don't get up." I said grabbing her arm lightly.

"If you want nothing to do with me I will leave and never bug you again. But y/n, if you give me another chance I will never mess up again." I begged. She stayed sitting next to me.

"You can stay and we can talk but I don't know if its going to change our ending."

"I'll take it." I said back and she looked over at me and I could tell tears were ready to pour out of her eyes. She closed her eyes and began to sob.

"I'm pissed that I miss you so much. I want to hate you and not need you." She said through tears. I didn't say anything as I held her closer to me wrapping my arms around her and kissing her head and she cried into my chest.

"Everything will be okay." Is all I could reply as she continued to cry. It would take a while but genuine believed what I was saying. And i was willing to work to make sure it was.

#david dobrik #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik x y/n #david dobrik x you #david dobrik imagine #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad #imagine

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redmelon · 4 years

Text

hurt (t.h)

summary: y/n has some pregnancy news to tell tom when he comes back from set, but things don’t seem to go to plan when tom also has some heartbreaking news to tell y/n aswell.

angst+fluff

(this is my first time writing a fanfic about tom, and my writings a bit rusty styl, but uno, show some love 🥺❤️<3)

i felt stupid, really fucking stupid but I had no other choice, he deserved to know. also I know that I couldn’t keep this secret for to long to myself.

my hands trembled a bit as a put down my beanie down a little more so it fully covered my ears. the winter air blew threw the night sky as I stood in front of ‘his’ house. the house that was once ‘ours’.

the house that I once lived in. I never thought I would see this house again, forget coming anywhere near it. It bought back millions of happy memories.

but most of all it bought back the memory of ‘that night’. the terrible fucking night, the night he told me he wasn’t in love with me any more. I remember’d it clearly....

I smiled widely looking around the apartment, pleased with myself. I straightened out my red silk tube dress and messed with the two beautiful promise rings that tom had given me for our 2 and 3 year anniversary. my bump wasnt really showing in the dress that I was wearing, since I was only 2 months along the line, and I could get away with it as belly fat. I slowly placed my hand on it as I felt small butterflies do mini flips, exciting me even more.

however, tonight was the night, it was the night I told tom about the happy news that I’d managed to keep in while he was on set for his new film. He’d came back a week ago and was acting pretty distance from me, but I think he just needed time to figure himself out from all the hard work he had been putting in for the new movie, and I understood that.

it was currently 8pm and I was waiting for him to get back from Harrison’s house, I’d text him a couple of times and he’d left me on seen, probably meaning that he was on his way back now. I was actually kind of nervous as impatiently tapping my acrylic nails against the table. I’d set up little plain balloons around the table, and even cooked his favourite dinner but there was still no sign from tom after an hour later.

I decided to call him as I softly placed phone to my ear to hear a few rings and for it to just go to voicemail. I bit the inside of my cheek not so sure now on when he’d come home.

2 hours past and I was started to get tired of sitting in the same place and wearing the heels that tightly hugged my sore feet. but what if just forgot, he’ll probably remeber, I did send him a couple of texts telling him to be here for tonight, if not then the boys will surely remind him.

another hour passed and I felt a warm tear slide down my cheek, my heart drowned a little knowing he’d definitely forgot and he wasn’t coming home tonight, I started to unstrap the little lock of my heels with a blurred vision as a I heard a sob escape from my mouth. I felt a little anger but it all dissolved into a little heartbreak when the tears ran freely again. I wiped my face with a makeup wipe and attempted to tie my hair back when the sound of the door opening interrupted me.

toms body tired body peered through whilst he walked inside purposely avoiding eye contact with me as if he didn’t even know that I was waiting at home for him for a couple to hours now. i instantly faced away trying to wipe away the tears, as if I hadn’t been crying for ages now.

i heard him sigh and place his keys on the counter, i turned around to see his elbows leaning on the marble surface and his face in his hands as If he was quite down aswell. my eyebrows scrunched in confusion as I wiped my nose with the end of my hoodie sleeve which I just put on over my dress.

“tom” I softly spoke taking a step towards him. his hair seemed to be all over the place as he constantly ran his hand through them. he faced up, his eyes red and puffy but held a stern look on his face. My heart broke a little seeing him like this, and all of a sudden all my anger was gone towards him and I just wanted to embrace him in a hug. But something at the back of my mind told me not to.

“what’s wrong.” i slowly said before trying to reach out to him which he quickly backed away from. instantly taken back, I backed my hands away from him. “did anything happen” I calmly said trying not to suddenly scare him.

“fuck y/n nothing happened, stop it for fucks sake” he said slamming his hand on the counter, clearly frustrated. i flinched a little stepping back, not being about to say anything. his not normally like this. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.

“tom, im only asking” I said calmly, “you just seemed a little off that’s why”

his eyes instantly shot up, “well the fuck, your not my mom, just leave me be, i don’t need ur reassurance twenty fucking seven now do i”

confused at his attitude, I breathed slowly trying to process why his acting like this in the first place.

“im your girlfriend tom! I may not be ur fucking mom but im ur girlfriend, and u got to try understand that I bloody care for you, and I want to know why the fuck my boyfriends been so distant and off with me for the last 2 weeks you absolute whack ass” I burst out.

he chuckled swaying his head back at me, before speaking up, “i want some time BY MYSELF, your always acting so clingy and it fucking annoys me, like there’s a thing called personal space the fuck. and I don’t even get that. EVERYTHING IS NOT BASED AROUND U YOU KNOW”

surprised at how quickly this was escalating u scoffed. he called u fuckimg clingy. but he can’t get it into his thick head that I care about him and I want to know why his being like this.

“CLINGY? FUCKING CLINGY? are u fucking kidding me tom. do u even know the definition is. THERES A DIFFERENCE between clingy and fucking caring and you obviously don’t get that, because I fuckimg care for u” the last bit getting a bit quiet as a tear rolls down my cheek. “your unbelievable” I quietly say trying not to break into sobs. I turned around heading for the stairs not wanting to escalate this further.

“for fuck sakes” he says a bit calmer, knowing he doesn’t like seeing u cry, it breaks his heart to see you hurt. “y/n” he speaks softly coming after you. “listen baby” he calmly grabbed on to ur arm which u couldn’t resist into pushing away. “baby” he whispered, “there’s something I need to let off my chest”

confusion hit you slowly but quickly. your eyes met his as he held ur hand drawing little circled on it. you wonder what he had to tell you, you decided if you should tell him about the baby, there’s never really going to be a right time and it was good for u to let off ur shoulders for once and all.

“me too” I softly spoke looking down while tears still blurred my eyes. I wiped them away facing back up. “you can go first” I told him.

he faced away pressing his lips together, heartbreak clearly written in his eyes.

“y/n” he said, “I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and I’ve never been able to let it out, because I was scared of ur reaction”

my heart raced up as I stared at his lips not ready for what he was going to say. I gulped a rock ball that had formed at the back of my throat.

until he stared back up at me and breathed heavily, like he’d plan the whole thing out in his head, before slowly whispering, “i don’t think this is going to work...”

my heart suddenly broke and my knees felt weak as I suddenly forgot everything that was happening around me. My head felt a weird heaviness and my breathing sped up, my eyes blurred with a cloudy mist as I lost focus on what was in front of me anymore. It was like everything had stopped. he wanted to leave me.....

and since then it’s been a month, I knew the news of me being pregnant would wreck him because his not in love with me anymore, but either way he deserved to know, after all he is the father of my baby.

my hands trembling I slowly rang the doorbell, my nerves heightning by the second. several questions swarmed my mind, ‘has he moved on?, ‘has he forgotten about me,?’

i heard a familiar voice shouting, “i’ll get it,”

then the door swung open with a happy looking tom, but his smile instantly faded when he saw me. his look was replaced with a stern one. it was like fire lit arrows shooting at me, my heart broke into small pieces.

“what are you doing here,” he asked me, his hands tightening on to the side of the door.

“i needed to talk to you,” i softly replied my voice barely audible, waiting for his response.

“y/n there’s nothing to talk about,” he sighed looking away for a second, almost having a look of frustration on his face.

i looked down at my feet trying to keep my self together.

“it’s really important and I thi—“ I was suddenly interrupted by an almost angry looking tom.

“goddamit y/n, if it’s about us, and why we broke up, well I think I’ve made that clear,” he stated,

i was taken back at his response and tried really heard not the break down,

“tom,” I said softly trying to keep my tears from flowing , “It’s not about us, it’s something else to do with us involved, and i know it’s going to be hard to believe, and that it’s really confusing but I—,” this time I was Interrupted by a female voice.

“baby who is it?, you’ve been at the door for like a while minute or something,” i heard her say.

babe. So his already moved on from me. i felt my heart collapse more and tears wore themselves into the back of my eyes. I slowly placed a hand over my chest to stop the heavy breathing before it started.

I stared into his eyes with hurt, but tried not to show it.

“it’s no-one, I’ll be there in a minute,” he shouted back.

“oh okay,” she replied, as the noise of tv came back on.

he turned back to face me, “what were you saying,” he asked, a bit calmer this time, he wasn’t angry this time a bit relaxed now.

i stared at him for a while realising how happy he must be in his new relationship, I didn’t want to ruin that, not at all.

“um, you know what, it doesn’t m-matter anymore,” I said putting up a wide realistic smile trying really hard to hold back my tears.

“oh okay,” he replied unaware of the fact of how much I was hurting right now and how confused I was with what to do. I thought he out of all people would be able to notice the pain behind my eyes, of how much I’ve cried over the last one month for this new confusing chapter that is about begin of my life and most of all for him.

“bye I suppose,” he said.

“yeah,” I whispered, my voice barely audible as I turned on my heel and sped to my car and when I was there, I let it all out. I let all my emotions out. it’s amazing how so fucking depressed, sad and alone you can feel from being the happiest girl alive.

it’s just unbelievable. I had no idea what to do or who to turn to help for. my parents had disowned me because I said I wanted to be in a relationship with tom and they’d said “no, honey, believe us when we say, when he becomes this big celebrity he won’t even turn to look at you, he’ll treat you like dirt,”

I didn’t listen to them and let them disown me just so I could be with tom.

and my friends. well they slowly drifted away from me as I started to spend a load of time with tom and more oftenly started going to different countries with him for his shooting.

there was my best friend larissa but she was away on holiday with her boyfriend, so I couldn’t possibly call her and tell her what’s happened. most of my friends didn’t want to be friends with me because they were just jealous I was dating Tom.

sure I had harrison. toms bestfriend and like a big brother to me, but I didn’t want to turn to him for help because his really close with tom and would probably tell him everything.

so basically I was alone with all these problems for myself to decide. alone to raise my baby myself. but this baby could bring me happiness, happiness I need in my life.

tears constantly rolled down my cheeks, my eyes probably big, red and puffy by now.

this baby was going to grow up without a father. this is not what I had planned out for my life but it is what it is. and if this is what my life’s going to be, then so be it.

without hesitation I wiped away my tears, and started my car engine. i’m going to do this. i’ve got be strong and do this, I rode away from his house and that night I left for another town in the country. I didn’t want to stay here any longer, for it to just bring back bad memories.

I wanted to start this new chapter of my life afresh. with new friends, new neighbours, my own little family and a nice small job.

but little did I know, things never went as planned.

~to be continued, part 2 coming soon.

#tomholland #tom #holland #tomimagines #tomhollandimagines #tomhollandstories #tomstories #marvelfanfic #tomhollandfanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #peterparker #pregnancy

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let-it-raines · 5 years

Note

I was reading this "ex prompt list" and while I want you to write all of them, I really liked this one: "You talk about me in your new song and I get mad over it, so I’m standing outside your apartment door to argue, only to see you open the door half naked." Thank you, darling! You're a gift!

She’s on her way home from work when she hears it. Listening to the radio isn’t something she does, not anymore, but her car can’t connect to her phone’s Bluetooth and she forgot the aux cord, so it was either the radio or silence.

She probably should have stayed in silence.

Because for the first time in three months, for the first time since she was in Target and heard one of his songs over the speakers, she hears his voice.

And she hates it.

But she apparently hates herself a little bit more because she doesn’t change the station or turn the radio off. She doesn’t recognize the opening chords to this song. She recognizes the chords to every song. She knows all of the lyrics, all of the rifts and pauses. She knows everything.

But she doesn’t know this one.

It’s quiet, sullen, the usually prominent instruments muted in the background so that his voice comes through as clearly as possible. It takes her thirty seconds and two references of a swan flying away – really subtle there, Jones – for her to realize that the song is about her. She has to pull over to the side of the road, making several different cars blare their horns at her, but she can’t…she can’t listen to this while driving. She can’t hear him sing a song that’s clearly about their break up. She has to listen, but she can’t do anything else.

She can barely breathe.

He sounds broken. But she knows that’s on purpose. He records those songs a million times over, until he gets them exactly how he wants them to be, so she knows that he’s manufactured it this way. She’s watched him record enough songs to know how things work.

How dare he do this.

How dare he put their private life out there for anyone with ears to hear.

Hot tears sting behind her eyes, and she has to bury her face in her hands while her throat constricts, emotion lodging itself there and making her feel as if she has to vomit. Or as if she can’t breathe. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know anything.

All she knows is that she misses him. She misses Killian.

But right now she hates him for making her relive their breakup, for making her relive the agony that was the weeks and months of separation that inevitably led them to walking away from each other.

Or maybe it was her.

She’s not sure. If anything, it’s all a blur of tears and alcohol, sobs wracking her body while she was unable to feel anything but pain. She’d waited so long to find someone who understood her, who wanted to be with her with no reservations, who wouldn’t leave. But then he had left. It had been for work. She knows this. She understands this. Despite everything, she wants nothing more than for him to be happy and to follow his dreams. She just wishes it didn’t come at the expense of them.

She just wishes she’d been strong enough to handle the months of separation and the way that their schedules never matched up, the way that they were constantly missing each other when they tried to call.

The song ends and immediately something happy, upbeat plays through her speakers. She’s having some kind of meltdown on the side of the road, and the world keeps going by. Cars continue to drive by, shaking her bug with their momentum, and the song that’s about one of the worst periods of her life is quickly forgotten and replaced by something about…dancing in a club. It’s literally just about dancing.

She lets out a watery chuckle, the emotion that was lodged in her throat clearing the slightest bit so that she can breathe. Was she not breathing? She might not have been breathing.

Now that she can breathe again, she inhales, sucking her chest in before letting out a gush of air in an attempt to calm herself. In her review mirror she can see that her face is red and splotchy, that her eyes are still watery, and she has to wipe away the snot that’s formed at her nose.

It’s as she’s rubbing her eyes, trying to clear her vision, that all of the sadness starts to twist, transforming into something else entirely. She’s pissed. Absolutely pissed. And she can’t help but think of her earlier thoughts when the song first started playing.

How dare he do this to her.

How dare he write that song and put it on the radio.

Before she knows it, she’s putting her car in drive, looking over her shoulder to make sure the road is clear, before she’s pulling off of the dirt and onto the pavement, speeding down the road in the direction of Killian’s apartment instead of toward hers, driving in the direction of the place where she lived for so long. She knows he’s home, that he’s in town. And she only knows this because David still talks to him, still talks about him, and she overheard David talking to Mary Margaret about Killian being home for the next few weeks and how they’re going to go out for a pint to catch up.

She knows the path to his apartment better than she knows the path to her own, a right here followed by another until it’s a straight shot to the parking garage underneath his building. She still has her sticker, the one that lets her inside. She never could get the damn thing off.

But now it’s useful as she pulls into an empty guest space, hastily getting out of the car and slamming the door shut as she makes her way over to the elevator, hoping that the code hasn’t changed and she can still get inside. It’s only two minutes before she’s standing in front of his door, the momentum and adrenaline propelling her hand forward until she’s banging on the wood so roughly that her hand might actually hurt.

She hurts.

Every bit of anger, of malice, of disappointment that she has is on the tip of her tongue, posed to be spit at him as soon as she sees him, but then the door is swung open and she sees him for the first time in…shit. It’s been five months. It’s been three months since she heard his voice in Target, but it’s been five months since she’s seen him.

And he’s now standing in front of her with his hair damply falling across his forehead, water trailing down the hair of his chest, and the words of his tattoo peeking up over the white towel he has slung across his hip.

Fuck.

She doesn’t have any other words, especially as his fists clench and the muscles in his arms strain while his jaw ticks. He’d look surprised when she first showed up, his lips parting before closing, almost as if he had something he wanted to say. But now he looks angry, a storm raging behind his eyes, and all she can think about is the time that they went to Bermuda for their anniversary and spent the entire week either in bathing suits, a towel, or nothing at all.

“What are you doing here, Swan?”

There’s no anger in his voice though. It’s calm, even, and it’s that fact that gets her back on track. He sounded broken in the song. He’s obviously not broken like she is.

“How dare you write that song,” she spits, trying to keep her voice just as steady, knowing that she’s failing. “You just put our life, my life, out there for everyone to hear.”

“No one knows it’s about you.”

“I do! I know! Our friends know! Everybody goddamn knows! I’m driving down the road on my way home from work, trying to live my life, trying to move on, and I just have everything that I’m trying to forget thrown back in my face like that.”

“Love – ”

“Don’t call me that,” she cries, hating how her voice cracks. She shouldn’t have done this. She shouldn’t have come. She should have never let her emotions drive her, but that’s always what’s she’s done. She’s never been one to be able to hold back when she really feels. “I am not your love. You’ve made that very clear.”“Swan,” he grits, crossing his arms over his heaving chest, “if you want to yell at me, come inside. I have neighbors, and I don’t think we want them witnessing this.”

She huffs, disbelief that he’s actually inviting her inside so that she can continue this emotional breakdown, but her feet still carry her inside, her eyes glancing over the apartment the moment she gets inside. It all looks exactly the same.

She hates that it all looks the same.

Something should have changed.

All of her stuff is gone.

She’s gone.

Something should have changed.

She turns around to look back at Killian, who’s locking the door behind him before running his hands through his damp hair, pushing it back on his forehead, before he’s rubbing his fingers over his scruff. She hates how good he looks almost as much as she hates that that’s what she’s focusing on.

“Why are you here?” he sighs, the indignation he had replaced with acceptance. “The song? You’re mad about the song?”

“Of course I’m mad about the song. How could I not be? Have you heard it?”

“I wrote it. And in case you’ve forgotten, I have dozens of other songs about you, nearly every one of them on a record somewhere. You never seemed pissed about those then.”

“We weren’t broken up then.”“Well whose bloody fault is that? Because it’s not mine. I didn’t want to break up.”

“You think I wanted to break up?” she screams, not caring about staying calm while her entire body heats, her skin feeling overly warm and her head throbbing while her heart pounds. “You think I wanted to be having breakdowns on the side of the road because I can’t handle reliving parts of our relationship. You think I wanted to be the girl who sat at home and cried every time you didn’t pick up the phone? Every time you had to go one minute into our conversation? Every time I went out with my friends and heard your voice on the speakers at a bar when I hadn’t actually heard your voice in days? You think I wanted that?”

She can’t…she can’t breathe again, her heart beating far too quickly in her chest. This isn’t healthy. This isn’t good. She needs…she needs to sit down. So she does, collapsing to the ground and resting her back against his hallway wall while she wraps her arms around her knees and lets herself have another breakdown.

Who the hell needs dignity?

“Emma,” Killian sighs, and that only makes things worse. He never calls her Emma, not unless something is important, and she hates herself for this entire situation. She hates that he is able to still have this power over her, that she still loves him so much that she can’t fathom the fact that she’s not with him.

“Emma,” he repeats, kneeling down next to her, his towel opening as he squats, which really doesn’t help the situation at all. “Are you okay?”

“Do you think I’m okay?”

“No.” His thumb reaches up and wipes away the tears on her cheek. That’s the first time she’s felt his touch in five months too. And it’s also what makes her look up to see that he’s got a tear falling onto his cheek too. “I’m sorry, lo – Swan. I’m sorry that you heard the song and that it hurt you.”

“Why’d you write it then? You had to know that I’d hear it eventually.”

“Because I hurt too. Music is how I deal with things. You know this. You’ve always known this. And how the hell else am I supposed to deal with my heartbreak?”

“By writing the damn song and then not putting it on the radio.”

“I had to fulfill my contract. I had to release a new single.”

“Don’t you have another one? One that’s not about us?”

“No.”

She sighs, leaning her head back against the wall and tightly closing her eyes all while she physically aches. She aches for them to be back to normal, aches for this to not be happening anymore. She should have never come here.

“How long are you home?”

“What?” he stutters, his voice visibly shaken.

She opens her eyes and looks back at him, attempting to even her breaths. “How long are you home this time? How long until you have to leave again?”

“A few weeks. I’ve got to go back and meet with the guys for a couple of days at the end of September.”

She doesn’t know why she does what she does next, but before she can stop herself, before she can think straight, she leans forward and slides her lips over his in a harsh, demanding kiss. Her hands are in his hair in an instant, using the soft strands to tug him closer, and his hands find her face, the warmth and roughness of the pads of his fingers holding her to him as well. It’s like being connected, like being right, after so many months of not feeling like herself, of feeling like something in her life is off kilter.

Like something is wrong.

She doesn’t care that they shouldn’t be doing this. She doesn’t care that she shouldn’t be pushing Killian against the floor, the hardwood uncomfortable under her knees, and she doesn’t care that she’s losing her mind over the way that Killian’s groaning into her mouth and thrusting his hips up against hers, the towel doing nothing to hide his arousal.

And she really doesn’t care when they stumble away from the entrance of his apartment and fall back into his bedroom, quickly and surely moving against each other in the way that they always have. He feels good, fantastic, and she knows she should never be thinking about she and Killian together when they’re very obviously having a relapse, a collapse back into the them they used to be.

So she doesn’t say anything, doesn’t let herself not enjoy this, but she can’t speak, she can’t return Killian’s words of ecstasy and affection while he moves inside of her and above her. She simply falls into how good, how right, this feels, and figures that she’ll…she’ll figure it all out later.

It turns out when later comes that she’s still not ready to figure it out. She still doesn’t know what to do. Instead of getting up and leaving when they were finished, she didn’t. She stayed. She’s not sure that she had the strength to leave, that she even wanted to, so now she’s wrapped up in one of Killian’s sweaters while her legs are stuck in between his and his hands are trailing through her hair. She feels his heartbeat under her palm, the slow rise and fall of his chest a rhythm that she knows better than any other.

A rhythm that she knows better than any song he’s ever written.

“Sex doesn’t solve our problems, Swan. You know that, right?”

“I know,” she confesses, snuggling closer to him despite everything. “I don’t…we shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t even still be here. I’m not sure what came over me, over us.”“A hell of a lot of emotions.” She feels his lips against her forehead, the sweat that’s gathered there being pushed away. “We’ve got…there’s a lot left between us, love. There was never anything wrong between us, I don’t think. I just wasn’t there.”

“That’s kind of what went wrong. You can’t be in a relationship without being there.”

“But it’s not us. It was the distance, my job.”

“Which is your dream.”

“Aye, it was my dream,” he confirms softly, running his fingers through her hair and down her back. “It is my dream. But I should have never let it come between us. You’ve been my life for half a decade. You have been there for absolutely everything, and I should have tried harder, should have done more.”

“I don’t think there was anything either of us could have done.”

“I could have made more time to call. I could have scheduled breaks between cities. I could have booked a flight for me, for you. I could have done so much to save us, to make you feel less alone.”

“Killian, this isn’t all on you.”

“No, no, it’s not, but I’ve had five months of living alone, even when I wasn’t here, to think about all of the things I could have changed.”

“Me too,” she sighs, lifting her head from his chest and untangling her legs before she moves to the other side of the bed, putting distance between them all the while Killian rubs his hand up and down his face trying to work out the stress lines. “I don’t…I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t either. Do you even want to try again? Or are we chalking this up to a one-time thing? To a fallback?”

For the first time since she’s shown up here, he sounds as broken as he did during the song. He sounds like she feels, like there’s something missing, something just out of reach. He sounds…he doesn’t sound like Killian. Not the one that she knew. Not the one who woke her up in the mornings with a smile on his face and laughter in his eyes. Not the one who sang while he cooked, often burning the food because he would start writing down the beginnings of a song.

He doesn’t sound like the man who loved her.

The man who she loves.

“I don’t want it to be that,” she answers honestly, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees. “But I can’t go back to how we were…what do you want?”

“You.”

A shiver runs down her spine, gooseflesh popping up on her skin.

“That’s all. You just want me?”

“Always, Emma,” he promises, his lips ticking up on the right and the lines around his eyes crinkling while his tongue clicks. “But you’re right. We can’t…I can’t leave like that. I can’t do things just for me without considering you. And you can’t let me just do it and say that things are okay.”

“I kind of figured you knew things weren’t okay.”

“You’ve never lied to me, so I didn’t expect it then. I always believed the words that you said.”

“So what are we doing, Killian? What do we do?”

He shrugs, sitting up against the headboard. “We try again. We make compromises. We do better. For ourselves. For each other. And maybe I don’t put a song out without letting you know.”She smiles, the first genuine smile without heartbreak hidden behind it, for the first time today. Maybe for the first time in months.

“I’d like that.”

It takes more than one day for things to get back to normal. It takes weeks, months really. Killian was a constant part of her life for five years, but after nearly half a year apart, things don’t simply snap back. Trust has to be rebuilt, routines have to become routine again, and she has to learn that things are never going to be perfect and that compromise is a hell of a lot harder than simply saying the word. You actually have to break and bend, give and give up, but it’s worth it if you want to make things work.

She wants to make things work.

Killian does too.

And the next time she hears a song on the radio that’s about her, Killian’s voice isn’t broken. And neither is her heart.

#cs prompts #cs ff #cs fic

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5sos-kingsandqueens · 5 years

Text

In This City~chapter14~Luke Hemmings

IN THIS CITY

CHAPTER 14

LUKE P.O.V

My first ever red carpet event was tonight and I was freaking out. A few of the songs that we produced were in a movie and we were invited. It was a strange feeling having people take picture after picture of you.

I had a beautiful woman attached to my arm but when I looked at her, she wasn't the beautiful girl that I wanted. I had no idea how to tell her this. So I kept it to myself. I went through the motions with her. Dates. Sex. Movie nights. Sex. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. Sex. Over and over again.

"Are you okay?" She asked holding a cup of tea and standing at the end of my bed. I was laying spread out on my back looking up at the ceiling.

"Peachy." She sighed setting her cup down and crawling beside me.

"What's going on?" She questioned.

"Where is this relationship going?" I asked her. I needed to know. Because for me, this was going no where.

"I don't know. We haven't been going out for that long." She shrugged.

"Well do you want to get married?" I asked.

"Someday." Michael had gotten married a month ago and even though I wasn't invited to the wedding, I wished him the best. Even though I don't think we were anywhere near close to be ready to get married, it was on my mind. "Where is this coming from?" She asked. I shrugged.

"Did you know I almost got married when I was 22?" I asked.

"22?!" I would have been 22 when we got married but thankfully I broke it off right before I turned 21.

"Yup." I commented. "Was only gonna do it cause my family said not to." She shook her head sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Was it McKinley?" I laughed.

"She wishes." It would be her someday. It was always going to be McKinley. I just had to figure out when the right time for that would be.

"We should get married then." I had a feeling she was doing it just to spit McKinley.

"What?" I turned my head to look at her. There was no way that either one of us were ready for this.

"Yeah. Why not?" She asked.

"Because I don't know anything about you." I answered honestly. I didn't even know what her middle name was.

"And? I think we should get married."

"Okay." I don't know why I said that.

*MCKINLEY P.O.V*

The shouting from the apartment below could be heard for miles. It didn't seem like anyone was shouting at each other. It was more of an excitement shout and I wasn't sure I wanted to know. Luke had been avoiding for the last few weeks so in return, I was also avoiding him.

"Jesus Christ." Nicole mumbled coming out of her room. It was awesome having her here. I loved our weekly wine nights and we often just sat around talking. It was nice having a friend besides the four obnoxious guys in the apartment below.

"I know. What the hell is screaming about?" I asked as I sat on the couch reading.

"Maybe he's finally dumping her ass." I cringed at her words. The last time I had talked to him it seemed as if he was going to break it off with her. He said he wasn't happy.

"Doubt it." I commented setting the book to the side. My breakup with Luke was decently calm. He made it seem easy in fact. It was clear to me that this wasn't their breakup and if it was, it was nothing like ours. Luke had always been the kind of guy to brush things off. He didn't like being confronted.

"When he broke up with you, was it bad?"

"Nope. Not at all. He just, got in a taxi and left me standing on the sidewalk." I commented. Of course that wasn't our official break up. He broke up with me the day before when he screamed at me that he didn't love me. "He told me he didn't love me."

"He told you that?" I nodded. Hearing those words come out of his mouth hurt even now almost a year later.

"I will never forget the look on his face. He was so cold and... Distant. Like he wasn't mine anymore."

"Did you believe him?"

"At the time I did. Now I don't. I don't think he's happy in his relationship and the sooner he realizes that, the sooner he'll be mine again."

"You would get back together with him?"

"In a heartbeat." The screaming from downstairs continued for a while. It almost got the point where I was going to stomp on the floor to tell them to knock it off. Ashton came into the apartment and looked at both of us in bewilderment. "What the hell is going on down there?" I asked. He just looked at me and his eyes softened. "What?"

"Luke and Kristen are getting married." The breath was caught in my throat and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"What?" Nicole was the first to break the silence. I was shocked by Ashton's words.

"That's what the screaming was about." I stared at the wall talking in the words being exchanged between Nicole and Ashton. I couldn't believe that my Luke was getting married. But he wasn't my Luke anymore. Tears flowed down my cheeks and I rushed passed both of them and slammed my bedroom door closed and locked it behind me.

I flung myself onto the bed screaming crying into the pillows. I had officially lost him and I was crushed. Every bone in my body was in pain. Every organ shut down.

"McKinley, open the door." I heard Ashton from in the hallway as he knocked on the door. I wanted everyone to leave me alone. I would never be able to look at any of them the same. They were Luke's friends. Not mine. I was going to lose all of them the second he got married. Married to someone who wasn't me.

"He's a fucking liar!" I screamed turning my head so they could hear me.

"Open the door." His voice was a little more panicked. I quickly stood and opened the door for him. Calum and Nicole were both stood in the hall looking in on the disaster that was me. Ashton quickly came in and closed the door behind him to block from me. I got back into bed and covered myself with all of the blankets. Ashton was right behind me wrapping me in his arms. "Why is he a fucking liar?" He asked as I rested my head on his shoulder and looked at him as tears steadily streamed from my eyes.

"He said he was going to marry me someday." I whispered. Marriage wasn't something that you just did for fun.

"It didn't happen the first time. It won't happen this time either." Ashton smoothed my hair along my back.

"One of these times it's gonna stick." I whispered. He held me closer as I cried. I felt like a child. It was stupid to be crying over him. He didn't deserve my tears. Ashton's words were enough to calm me down to fall asleep.

*ASHTON P.O.V*

I slowly rolled my arm and body out from under McKinley and careful walked into the living room where Nicole and Calum were sitting. They both stood up as I came out.

"She's asleep." I commented. "I'm gonna stay here tonight but do you guys wanna order food or something?" I asked.

"Yeah. We should probably get her something too." Nicole commented going to the kitchen. She brought out a few menu's that we could choose from.

"Chinese?" I asked handing Calum the menu.

"Sure." He commented as he looked through it and Nicole looked over his shoulder. "How come she called him a liar."

"She didn't. She called him a fucking liar." Nicole commented making him laugh.

"He said he would marry McKinley." I frowned. The hurt in her eyes tore me to pieces. It didn't matter that she was Luke's ex-girlfriend, she was still a friend and her pain still caused the rest of us pain. "He doesn't love Kristen." I commented.

"I know that." I sighed. Once Luke has his mind set to something, you couldn't talk him out of it. I was worried about everyone involved. McKinley because I'm sure for the rest of our lives I was going to have to talk her off ledge. Luke because I knew this wasn't the right choice. Kristen because I knew that in the end, she would be the next one to be hurt by Luke.

We sat in silence while everyone decided what they wanted and I called to order it. I ordered something I knew McKinley would like.

"What are we gonna do?" Calum asked. I shrugged. First we start with McKinley. She was the one who was in the most pain right now and I think it would be best if we focused our attention on her. She was the one who was going to need the most support.

"Sometimes I wish we never moved." I commented. "If the studio never moved, Luke wouldn't have moved, McKinley wouldn't have moved, they would probably still be together."

"What was their love like?" Nicole asked grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around her legs.

"It was disgusting." Calum joked. "They really loved each other. In the most pure way possible." He commented. "It was like..." He trailed off not being able to find the words on how to describe just how in love they were.

"It was like they had known each other their entire lives. They easily loved each other. They would have jumped in front of a bullet for each other."

"It was like a kind of love that even if it didn't last long, it would ignite flames inside both of them." I nodded along to Calum's words. Nicole listened as we talked. We told her about all of the romantic things Luke would do for her. And about the time she got drunk at Taco Tuesday. I will never let her live that down.

We sat around chatting and eating for most of the night. Calum left around 11, right after he left, Nicole went off to bed. I quietly snuck into McKinley's room and got into bed with her. She shuffled closer to me and sniffled.

"Are you okay?" I asked rubbing her back as she cuddled into my side.

"No." She answered softly. "I hate him." I let her say it but I knew deep down that neither one of us believed that statement. "Are you gonna stay with me?"

"Yeah." I commented.

"Do you want some shorts or something to sleep in?" She asked.

"Sure." I commented standing up.

"In the bottom draw theres a few pairs of Luke's old ones." She commented pointing to the dresser. "And the bathroom is right through there." She pointed to another door.

"Thanks." I commented grabbing a pair and heading towards the bathroom. I could hear her sniffling as I changed out of my jeans and into the shorts. I really felt for her. I just wanted to make the pain go away and I knew that there was nothing much I could do to help her out. I quickly got back into bed with her but now she was on her back looking at the ceiling. "What are you thinking?"

"That I wanna stab them both in the neck with a knife."

"You can't do that." I commented pulling her into me. She stayed awake the entire night. The next morning she shooed me out of the apartment so she could be alone but I told her to call if she needed anything. When I went downstairs, I swear I could pound Luke's head into the floor.

"Where have you been?"

"McKinley's." I gave him a flat answer.

"Doing what?"

"Trying to make sure she didn't kill herself."

"What?!" He seemed alarmed by my words.

"Told her you were getting married." I casually commented.

"Why would you do that?! Why wouldn't you let me tell her!" He shouted at me. "That's so fucked up!"

"What's fucked up is you marrying a girl you don't even love."

*LUKE P.O.V*

Ashton had ruined my life. I had planned to tell McKinley face to face. She deserved to hear that news from me and not Ashton. Now I was screwed. There was no way I would be able to go up there and tell her.

"You did this to yourself, Luke." Ashton commented to me.

"Where did you get those?" I asked referencing his shorts. Well not his short, I knew they were mine by the cut in the right side pocket.

"McKinley had them." He answered. "Said they were yours."

"They are."

"You've lost her, Luke."

#luke hemmings #luke imagine #luke edit #luke au #luke 5sos #luke fanfic #luke fanfiction #exboyfriendluke #5sos #5sos fam #5sos blog #5sos edit #5sos au #5sos fanfic #5sos fanfiction #5sos ex boyfriend #in this city #chapter 14

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sollea · 5 years

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Kingdom Hearts Mermaids AU Characters: Lea, Isa, Sora, Riku Relationship: LeaIsa, (non-mentioned) SoRiKai Word Count: 1583

Note: I’m gonna be doing more of this AU, keep an eye out. I have a lot planned. Lea + Isa picture here. Other mermaid information here. I’m reposting to try to get this into the search because for some reason the first try wasn’t.

“Hey, Isa, you remember that time I almost killed you?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that, Lea. You do that regularly.”

Lea rolled his eyes and swam up and above Isa, reaching down and dangling his arms in front of his best friend as they swam together. He silently recalled when he had to be more careful around Isa, glad for that time being over. “Nah, you know what I mean. I’ve never actually almost killed you.”

“Didn’t you just ask about the time you did?”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“I need you to think for a second, just a second. Why would I forget one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever had?” Isa paused his swimming and let Lea circle back so he could still be talking to Isa while looking down from above.

“I was kinda hoping you’d still be unwilling to say it like that, but you’re right. I was just thinking about how glad I am that I can touch you now.”

Isa reached up to prick his finger against one of Lea’s spines, it barely felt like anything after years of getting used to it.“It’s been ages, aren’t you used to being able to touch me without being incredibly careful by now?”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t make me happy.”

Isa laughed and looked up at Lea, reaching up and cupping his face to make sure they locked eyes. He couldn’t deny Lea being so outwardly sentimental was something he loved about him. “What was your point, Lea? Did you have one or did you just want to be a dork?”

Lea moved his hand over Isa’s and smiled. “I’m just thinking about it. I was really scared you weren’t going to be my friend anymore because of that and here we are, you’re in love with me and-”

“Don’t know who said that.”

“And I love you.”

“As you should.”

“You refused to let me know you were hurting that bad, you were really strong. You’re always so strong. I just love you.”

“Sappy. Is something going on?”

“No. I really was just thinking about how nice it is to not have that happen anymore. No poisoning my friend with hugs. Now I just bother my boyfriend by being clingy.”

“Sounds like you’ve had a couple changes, then. Why are we just talking about the almost killing me part of the story?”

“Because I’m trying to get to a point.”

“You said you didn’t have one.”

“Ugh! Just stop making fun of me for two seconds. You’re obnoxious.”

“Oh? Am I really the obnoxious one?”

“Yes! Why do I even like you?”

“I’m told you’re in love.”

“Wish I wasn’t in love with someone so mean to me.”

“I’m not mean to you. I could be. Do you want me to be mean to you?”

“No. Isa.”

“Then you know I’m being as nice as I can be?”

“Isa, can you just shut up and let me talk?”

“Hah, you think I’m able to keep you from talking? You?”

“Alright, shut up.”

“Really rude to keep saying that.” Moving up in the water to press his lips to Lea’s for a moment, Isa laughed. “You like hearing me talk. You enjoy my voice.”

“If you’d let me get to my point, Isa.” He left emphasis on the second syllable as he waited to be interrupted. When there was no interruption, he sighed. “I’ve been thinking about that because of how many things we still do come from not being able to touch you. When you kiss me outside of saying hey, it makes me remember watching Aeleus help you into the castle when I hugged you. Y’know, that should’ve had you paralyzed?”

“Yes, I’m aware. Are we really going over some backstory? Can’t we just continue this swim, head up to the beach, and relax there while it’s empty?”

“Am I not allowed to talk to my best friend anymore?”

“You are, but your boyfriend is getting impatient.”

“Then tell him to stop being an asshole.”

“He’s not about to listen, he’s just as stubborn as you are. Now, seriously, come on. There’s nothing we can’t talk about while relaxing somewhere even just a little safer than open ocean between islands.”

“Fine.”

“And I bet you don’t remember what your point was anyways.”

“I just told you what it was.”

“Oh? Was that it?”

“I hate you.”

Isa laughed and rolled his eyes, deciding to let that empty statement stand, returning to the other part of what he’d been saying. “We wouldn’t be between islands if you just remembered where we were going.”

“You could’ve told me I was swimming the wrong way.”

“You’re almost always ahead of me. It’s your fault for going so far so fast.”

“You could’ve noticed.”

“Excuse me for trusting the one who decided to take the lead.”

“You weren’t even trusting me, I know you better than that.”

“Fine, I was laughing at you for going the wrong way, but we didn’t run into any humans with nets, so it’s fine.”

“If that’s your metric, then, yeah, I guess. You sure you’re going to be fine doing your job when we get back?”

“If I’m too tired for the day, the world won’t fall apart if I don’t go in.”

“But you will.”

“Yes, I will. Of course I will. You will too.”

“Nah, I’m gonna skip out. Be irresponsible and sleep all day. Place won’t fall apart without me.”

Isa rolled his eyes and wrapped his hands around Lea’s wrists carefully, webbing between his fingers getting in the way of a full and comfortable grasp. He wasn’t going to say it aloud, but he really did want to just sit on the beach with Lea and look up at the moon until they were too dry to stay on land. “Lea, start moving, I want to get home eventually, but the moon is full tonight.”

“You’re the one who stopped?”

Isa didn’t respond to Lea and instead opted to swimming forward with a small tug of Lea’s arms before letting go to continue swimming. He could be much faster when he wanted to be, a tuna tail was much better suited to going quickly than anyone who had only met Isa alone would be led to believe. Lea had to fight to keep up with Isa.

“Hey, Isa, slow down.”

“You can keep up, I believe in you.”

“Why am I dating you?”

“Why am I dating someone so slow?”

“Ugh! Fine. I don’t want to race, though, so slow down a little bit?”

Isa fell back, swimming at Lea’s pace and bumping their hips together. Lea still had the tendency to be careful around other people, despite Isa being all but completely immune to his sting because of the constant exposure. Isa had no such care. Lea responded to the bump by wrapping his tail around Isa’s, taking a position most used for comfortable relaxing while not moving.

“You really don’t want to let me see the moon above the water tonight, do you?”

“We’re still moving. You know how to pull me around, I know you do.”

“You’re lucky your tail isn’t as short as your dad’s is.”

“And you’re not. Pull me along.”

“Don’t be lazy.”

“Too late. I’m comfortable. And I know you can do this for a significantly longer time.”

Isa just sighed, shaking his head at Lea’s dorky actions. He loved Lea a great deal, but sometimes it was difficult… this was not one of those times, Isa found, as he glanced back to look at Lea’s smirk.

They didn’t have that far to go, so the rest of their swim was in silence. They pulled themselves onto the deserted beach carefully and hacked the water up out of their lungs.

As soon as they were comfortably on the beach and breathing air, Lea flopped backwards into the sand and groaned. “I will never be used to that.”

“What?”

“Having to cough up that much water.”

“You’ll never get used to anything different than your first two years alive, will you?”

“Oh, shut up. You wanted to lay here and talk and look at the moon, so lay down with me.”

Isa rolled his eyes and laid down next to Lea, holding his arm out so he could be leaned against if Lea decided he wanted to. And of course Lea wanted to.

Just as Lea got comfortable, there was a sound of footsteps that was just too close for comfort. Lea moved away and began to slide back into the water and Isa followed behind him.

They got into the water just as a pair of human children locked eyes with them.

“Wait, no, don’t go!” One of the children called out to the mermaids, reaching his hand out only to have the other grab him and hold him back.

“Sora, leave them alone. Kairi didn’t want to be seen either.”

“Yeah, but… We’re friendly.”

The mermaids stared at the gently arguing children in confusion, slowly backing up in the water so they could have a good distance between them. Where had they picked up this human language?

Suddenly, Lea realized the humans had said a name.

“...Did you say Kairi?” Lea was too curious to continue the act of self preservation Isa was still anxious to do, but not without Lea. He knew that and he could see Isa ready to bolt, but he needed to know.

#kingdom hearts #lea #isa #leaisa #akusai #kh #sora #riku #at the end #they'll be there more later #kh mermaids au

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iluvmyogblog · 6 years

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Roommates, Routines and Best Friends

A/N: can u guys believe how emotional AIW is..... anyways. i hope u guys enjoy this. i feel like about two more parts until the end ;( oh and remember my crush that liked me back??? yea well he ghosted me lol if theres typos, so sorry. if i forgot to tag u, L M K <3 god, seb is a dream

Summary: (AU) being roommates with the infamous womanizer Bucky Barnes is tough, especially when all he does is bring home different girls every night and complain about you and your choice of men. masterlist.

Words: 3802

Warnings: im so sad but im laughin

Roommates, Routines and Best Friends: Just Call

“I’m just saying, (y/n). Maybe you should talk to Steve again. It’s been two weeks. Maybe the two of you just needed space. It’s not like Steve didn’t care for you. He obviously did. He kept that information from you because he loves you, (y/n),” your best gal pal explained. You sigh softly and swirl the strawberry wine in your glass.

“He hurt me, M,” you say softly. She nods, extending her legs over your lap.

“I know he did. But you hurt him too. You realize that, right?” She did have a point. You did hurt him. It doesn’t seem as excessive to you but maybe it hurt him just as much.

“Maria, you’re right but i don’t think I can talk to him right now. He just.. i don’t know. If I talk to him, I know I’ll just go back and pretend none of this happened.”

Maria sighs and gets off the sofa. You follow her into the kitchen and hand her your glass for a refill. She shrugs and pops open a new bottle of wine. “Well will you please talk to one of them?”

It was your turn to shrug. You didn’t know what to tell either of them. You were sad about Steve. Mad, even. But you didn’t know how you felt about the Bucky situation. It felt like you were just a big burden in both of their lives. And maybe they’d do better without you. Yeah, you missed them but that didn’t mean all was forgiven. So you did what you always do; avoid the conversation.

Who would you even talk to first? If you spoke to Steve first, were you kind of betraying Bucky in a way? You didn’t even apologize to Bucky for being a bitch to him before. Blaming him for everything. Everything that was caused by Steve. You sighed and pushed those thoughts away.

On the other side of town, Bucky was feeling down. He was always feeling down now. It was normal for him. All of his usual morning routines dissipated. He woke up whenever he wanted. He went out with whoever paid him attention. He hated it. Absolutely hated it. Everyone was temporary in his life. The only constant he did have was you and Steve. He missed his friends beyond words. But were they even friends anymore?

“I don’t know man, it’s just crazy. How this all happened. I say just call them and be like, ‘look, guys. Why can’t we be friends? Why can’t we be frie-“

“Scott, seriously,” Bucky interrupts his good friend. Scott snorts and throws his arms up, obviously confused as to why his beautiful singing was cut off.

“I’m just saying, dude. Calm down, pal.” Scott begins to kick out his feet on the coffee table and cross his arms behind his head. “Call up this girl, and text your friend an apology.”

Bucky laughs and claps. “Good one, Lang. You crack me up.” Scott rolls his eyes and throws a pillow at the tall brunette. Bucky quickly catches it and tosses it back onto the sofa. Scott quickly gets up and grabs the home phone. It was your genius idea to get a land line.

“Buck, please? Please please please,” you pleaded as you got down on your knees.

“No. Absolutely not. You come in here, start redecorating my living room. Start recording Grey’s Anatomy on my tv. And you want a phone with an answering machine ‘cause you never had one? I’m sorry, who do you think you are?”

You groan and roll your eyes. “You’re the worst roommate ever. I don’t even know why I try to be friends with you.”

Bucky sighs and watches you place your hands on the sofa cushions, pulling yourself back up to your feet. Your hair was in a side braid and your nails were painted this deep red he kind of liked. You huff out a breath and walk into the kitchen, far away from the man sitting on the sofa. He continues to watch you tip toe, trying to reach for the bag of chips he bought. He groans softly and walks over to you, swiftly taking the bag down from the top shelf. “Okay.”

You snatch the bag out of his hand and knit your eyebrows together, looking up at him. “Okay, what?”

“Okay, we’ll get you your stupid answering machine.”

Your eyes twinkle. “Really? Are you just screwing with me, Barnes?”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “I’m being genuine here, (y/l/n).”

You throw the bag of chips onto the counter and leap into your roommates arms. “You’re the best.”

You caught him off guard. After all, this was y’all’s first “hug”. You had only moved in three weeks ago. It took him a few minutes to hug you back, but he did. And when he did, he really hugged you. His strong arms wrapped around your body perfectly. And you couldn’t think of anyone who gave better hugs. After you guys went to buy the phone, you set up the machine and persuaded Bucky to say a line with you.

“Hello, you’ve reached the household of-,”

“,-shouldn’t it be apartment?”

“Shut up,” you whispered back, “the household of (y/n) and-“

Bucky watches the red light blink, completely forgetting he had to be saying something. You nudge his shoulder. “Hi, I’m Bucky.”

You groan and put your hands over your face. “James,” you sighed. He looks at you confused as hell. “We gotta do it again.”

It was his turn to groan. “This is exactly why I didn’t wanna get-,” he says, his voice fading away as he walks into his room. You quickly catch up to him and drag him back into the living room. After two more hours, you finally had a ...decent message.

“Hey, you’ve reached (y/n) and the most handsome guy- ow, and Bucky. Sorry, we must be sleeping or something. Call- okay bye,” his voice made yours seem extremely chipper and annoying, his voice was so monotone.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asked as he watched Scott press random numbers on the phone.

“Honestly, Buckaroo, I have no clue,” he says as he scrolls through contacts. “You guys have a home phone but don’t have your own numbers saved? What kind of- y’all are weird. Why even have a ph-“

“I get it.”

“I’m just saying,” Scott mumbles.

“She’s... she’s under doll. You’re looking for her contact right?”

Scott’s mouth shapes into an ‘o’ form as he slowly leans back into the cushions, looking up at his friend. “I was... just gonna order some Chinese food.. but.. like, if you want me to call her- I will.” Bucky’s cheeks turn a hot red. He huffs out a breath and rolls his eyes, walking into the kitchen.

“Do you want me to call her,” Scott yells.

“No,” Bucky says immediately. Scott sighs and mumbles a ‘yeah, you do’ as he clicks on your contact name. Scott holds in a laugh.

“He seriously put your number as doll. Who calls anyone doll anymore?”

“Lang, what are you saying over there,” Bucky asks from the kitchen.

“Huh? Oh, just asking if you want some oranges.”

“Oranges? Do I want or do I have?”

“What? Oh, nothing. Never mind,” he laughs nervously. He clicks on Doll and hears the beeping noise, then comes the ring. Bucky went back to rummaging through the cabinets for snacks.

“Hello,” Scott hears a sweet voice through the phone.

“Wow. That’s a nice voice,” he says quietly.

“I’m sorry, what was that? Who’s this?”

“Oh, oh right. This is Scott. I’m B- I’ll take orange chicken and some ramen. Hey, you want anything?,” he quickly says as Bucky walks into the living room. Bucky grabs the phone from Scott’s hands and brings it up to his ear.

“I’ll take three egg rolls. Do you guys have those.. um those little crunchy things with cheese in the middle?”

“Umm.. Cream Cheese Rangoon’s,” the voice on the other line asks.

“Yeah! Yeah those. I’ll take three orders of those and go ahead and add some sweet and sour sau-“

“That sounds really good but I’m sorry. I think you have the wrong number.” Bucky knits his eyebrows together and looks back at Scott. A nervous Scott who’s eyes are scanning the room.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“This is (y/n)... and last time I checked, I work at a coffee shop. Not a Chinese restaurant,” you giggle. “But hey, order me some egg rolls too.”

“It’s.. oh.. um yeah. Okay,” Bucky quickly says and hangs up. He sends death glares at Scott.

“Hey, man look. Hear me out. Didn’t it feel nice to hear her voice? She has a really pretty voice. Like I’ve honestly never heard a more prettier voic- woah woah, sit down, Buck,” Scott says as he leaps over the back of the sofa.

“What the hell, man? You called her? I told you not to,” Bucky growls. Scott holds up his hands and let’s out a quick laugh.

“I’m sorry. But did you or did you not like hearing her voice?” Bucky’s face relaxes, his shoulders fall back.

“Not the point,” he mumbled.

“Dude... call her back, man. You won’t regret it. I promise,” Scott says softly. Bucky nods and turns his attention back to the phone thrown on the sofa. He hesitates to pick it up, resulting in his friend jogging over and handing it to him personally. “It’s dialing.”

“Shit. Okay. Alright,” Bucky says nervously as he brings the phone back up to his ear.

“Hello,” you say questionably, a hint of joy in your voice. Bucky’s chest swelled up at the sound and familiarity of your voice.

“Hey,” he says softly. On the other side of the line, you knit your eyebrows and pull the phone away from your ear, placing it on speaker so Maria can hear.

“Hi.” Maria stifles laughter and leans in closer.

“Hi, I’m- I’m sorry about before. My friend told me it was a Chinese restaurant and so I started rambling.”

You laugh, your heart speeding up at the sound of this guys voice. “No problem. Although, you kind of made my friend and me a little hungry. I think you owe us some Chinese food now.”

He laughs, your heart leaps. This laugh. It was so familiar. Like you knew it. You stop laughing and stare at the unsaved phone number. You glance at Maria who looks back at you with a confused look in her eyes. “(Y/n)...”

“James,” you say softly. Maria’s eyes go wide.

“Hey,” he says with the same softness.

“Why are you calling me,” you ask.

“Why are you still talking to me?”

“I can hang up if you wan-“

“(Y/n), please don’t. I just, how are you? How’s Steve?”

You don’t say anything. You just stare at Maria. ‘Talk’ she mouths. You shake your head. She nods, encouraging you to speak. “Um...I- we.. I gotta go.” You quickly hang up and throw your phone at the sofa in front of you. You hold Maria’s glare and shake your head.

Scott stares at Bucky with a smile. “What’s she saying?”

Bucky doesn’t turn around. He lets the phone fall onto the sofa. He shrugs and walks towards the front door. “She hung up. Bye, Scott.”

“Wha- woah man. You don’t gotta kick me out. If you’re sad, we can talk it out.”

“I’m not sad, Lang. I’m tired. Come back later. Or don’t. But if you do, bring some damn Chinese food,” he shoves Scott out the front door and slams it shut, leaving a dumbfounded Scott questioning what he did wrong.

That night, you and Bucky laid awake in bed. Tossing and turning. Not seeming to find a comfortable position. Your mind begins to drift.

It was raining. And for some strange reason, the rain didn’t seem to make you drowsy. It just made you restless. And that stupid exam you had to take at 9 am was teasing you. You groaned and threw a pillow off your bed. You violently stuff your face into a pillow and scream.

You didn’t hear the knock on your door. You didn’t hear the footsteps approaching your bed. But you did feel the hand on your shoulder. You quickly turn around and kick the person away from you, screaming. “Woah, hey. Doll, it’s me. Relax,” the shadow said. You didn’t listen.

“James,” you screamed as you stumbled over to your bedroom door, hoping your roommate would come to your rescue.

“(Y/n), shut up,” the shadow says. You flick the light on and your eyes land on your annoying roommate. You groans and pick up that pillow you threw, throwing it right back at him. He chuckles and catches it, easily. “It’s just me.”

“What the hell, James? You’re so annoying. What are you doing? Get out,” you say as you climb back into your bed.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said, throwing himself on your bed. You roll your eyes and turn your face away from him.

You pull the sheets over your head and shrug. “Me either,” you mumble into your pillow. Buck sighs and looks at you. Your hair was a mess. But that pretty mess Bucky soon grows to like. “Turn off the light,” he hears you say.

Bucky gets up and walks over to your light switch, flicking it off. You feel the spot next to you sink in and a cool breeze of air runs down your back as Bucky pulls the blankets over him. You turn around and scoot closer to him, embracing his warmth. This became normal for you two. Whenever you or Bucky couldn’t sleep, you’d go over to his room or vice versa. It benefited you both.

You could almost feel his arms around your waist and the smell of his hair. It consumed you. He could almost hear your soft snores and feel your soft breath hit his chest. You’d kill to go back to those days. Before you met Steve. Before you fell so hard for Steve. But if Steve was Bucky’s best friend, maybe it was fate that you met Steve. Regardless, you’d meet him either way, right?

There was a knock on your door. “Hey, (y/n). There’s someone at the door for you,” Maria says in a raspy voice.

“What? Who,” you ask as you throw the blanket off of your body, swinging your legs off the bed. Your feet land in your fluffy slippers and you hug your body. It was always so cold in Maria’s house.

She mumbles something but then walks away and disappears into her room. ‘Who the hell could be here for me? I’m so sleepy.’

You sigh and grab a throw from on top of the sofa and wrap it around your body. You tip toe and try to peep through the peephole but you’re way too short to even reach. You groan and unlock the door again, opening it.

Your eyes land on a chest. You heart begins to race as your eyes roam up to his face. You inhale a breath and look into his blue eyes. You open your mouth to say something. And he opens his to say something too.

“Um, you first,” you whisper.

“No, you first,” he whispers back.

His heart was racing so fast. It was leaping out of his chest. God, he missed your face. He missed your face so much. And him standing right here in front of you made you realize just how much you’ve missed his too. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. For everything. For all of this.”

“How did you know I was here?”

“Your parents. Come home, please,” he grabs your hands. His big hands trapped your tiny ones in them. You did miss this. You really did. You sighed and pulled your hands back to you, bring them up to your chest.

“Steve... it’s not that easy,” you said softly. He sighed and ran his hands down his face. “Look, I-”

Your phone starts ringing. You sigh and let Steve in, closing the door behind him. “You gonna get that?”

“No, i’m talking to you,” you say. This was a conversation that needed to be said. The two of you didn’t bother turning on a light. Ironically, there was lightening outside. So the room was a little bit lit. The soft pitter patter of rain on the window filled the silence.

“I’m a dick. I know. You didn’t deserve any of the shit I did to you. If I could take it back, I would. But there’s a part of me that wouldn’t.”

You look at him in confusion, a little bit of anger. “You wouldn’t?”

“No. I would not. You know why? Because I think meeting you was the best day of my life. I don’t know if I would’ve met you if it wasn’t for Sam. And I know you don’t want to hear this, but I’m so glad it didn’t work out with him. I’m fucking selfish. I want you all to myself. And i did anything I could to make sure that happened but I still fucked up. And I am so sorry. I love you. I love yo-”

The house phone began to ring. You sighed and walk over to the phone, quickly pressing the automatic machine. Almost immediately, there was a beep signaling a new message. You roll your eyes and turn your attention back to Steve. He looks at you with those sad eyes of his. “Steve, I don’t know what to sa-”

A knock on the front door interrupts your words. Maria emerges from her room again and opens her front door. “James, hey. What are...”

“I need to talk to (y/n),” he says softly. Maria shakes her head in confusion, her sleeping mask resting on her forehead.

“How did you know she was here,” she asks.

“Maria, come on. Earlier on the phone, I heard you laugh. Then I went to Steve’s and noticed her car wasn’t there. So... can I please talk to her,” he asks again. She sighs and gives him an apologetic look.

“Buck, she’s... Steve’s here.”

You stopped talking to Steve and glanced down the hallway. You got up and walked over towards the front door, calling out Maria’s name. You see her shut the door, locking it.

“Who was it,” you ask, startling her.

“Jesus, (y/n). It was some person,” she waves off. You heart races. Your body begins to feel jittery. Ignoring your friend, you rush to the front door and unlock it, quickly stepping into the Hall. You look to the right and then left, catching a glimpse of a tall brunette. Your heart does that achy feeling. You rush down the hall and call out the name James. Sighing disappointingly when he turns around, realizing it wasn’t who you thought it was.

“So if that were James, what would you have done?” A voice says from behind you. You jump up and turn around. Coming face to face with Steve.. again. You shrug.

“I don’t know, Steve. I don’t know.” He nods and tucks his hands in his pocket. He clenches his jaw and scans your face. He notices the tears at the brim of your eyes.

“(Y/n)... I thought you were over that.” You scoff and brush past him. Your eyes roam to the end of the hall. You stop in your tracks as you see that pretty face walking towards you. His sad eyes staring into yours. You inhale a shaky breath and slowly walk towards him. You stop, remembering Steve was right behind you. You glance back to Steve who was already sending glares at James. You sigh softly and look back up to James.

“Hey doll,” he says softly.

You swallow away your feelings and shake your head. “What are you doing here, James?”

“I don’t.. I don’t know. I left you a message. I think I said why I was coming... or how I knew.. I don’t know. I just-“

“You just can’t seem to stay out of our relationship, can you,” Steve blurts out, walking closer. You feel Steve wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you behind him. Bucky chuckles and shakes his head.

“Steve, I didn’t come here to argue. I came here to talk to-“

“My girlfriend? Yeah. That’s obvious.”

“I’m not your girlfriend, Steve.” Bucky furrows his eyebrows and looks back up at Steve. Steve looks back down at you, completely forgetting Bucky was right there.

“(Y/n), can we please just... just talk about this. I said I was sorry. I didn’t mean any of that-“

“You still did it, Steve. Look, I’m sorry. But you guys have to leave.” You quickly say as you walk back into Maria’s apartment. You shut the door, lock it and slide yourself down the door. You hear muffled voices, a few steps getting further away. It sounded like one of them stayed behind though. The pair of footsteps outside the door paced back and forth before a small note slipped under your door. It was a colorful sticky note. A light blue one. You sniffle and wait until the steps reside. You grab the sticky note and hold it in your hand, your eyes reading the words. ‘I couldn’t sleep. Funny, it was raining that night too.’

‘That night’ was underlined. Emphasized. The beep on the answering machine kept echoing throughout the living room. “I left you a message,” his voice echoes. You quickly stand up and rush over to the machine. You click the button. “Maria, ignore this if she isn’t there but.. Doll, I miss you. I miss you so damn much. And I can’t stop thinking about you. And there’s no more milk. Can you believe that? I’m a mess without you here. I need- want.. need. I need to talk to you. I went to Steve’s. No one was there. So I’m hoping y’all are at Maria’s. I’ll probably get my ass handed to me,” he chuckles nervously, “but shit, I need to see you. And him too. I miss you guys. And I-“

“you have 0 new messages,” the machine says. A stream of hot tears roll down your cheeks. This wasn’t easy. It wasn’t fair. To anyone. Especially the guys. But you still picked up the phone. You still dialed that number. You anticipated what he’d say. Was he mad at you? At himself? Could he forgive you? Would he? Would you forgive him? “Hey,” you say softly through the phone. You hear him let out a breath and inhale one too. “I’m.. I’m sorry,” you say softly.

“Don’t be,” his raspy voice cooed, “don’t be sorry for anything.”

— — —

OH MY GOSH I REALLY LIKED THIS. Honestly the whole Chinese food part was improvised. It’s 2 am and i am CRAVVVING CHINESE.

tag(s): @coal000 / @goldenstateof / @cherrywinedarling / @justahappylilblog / @faakelanadelrey / @juicyqueenlme / @ourdreamsrealized / @boyzines / @bornfortherainydays /@fightmeandmy100fandoms / @deadpoolgirl23 / @bethanyv10 / @ilovethings-somuch / @spidey-linquentimagines / @lilypalmer1987 / @gravity-9-8 / @vivianbabz / @imeannooffensebabybut / @queendade / @irepeldirt / @petals-overdaisies / @warishaadnan / @sweetmockingbird / @loki7ms / @chickennacho1 / @dakotacheyennee / @starkxpotts / @sighscassidyy / @jellzu / @krockszz / @lowkeysebby / @chuckennuggets1213 / @wowbarnes / @eccentric-impulses / @dugan365 / @frackinawesomeninja / @cosmetologynerd / @straight–on-til-morning / @sophiealiice / @barnes-and-noble-girl / @satans-knitting-club / @grosskyjaja / @xunicornwhovianx / @evetheplum / @cravingmustardraventt5-bb / @dedicated-fangirl-forever / @sarahp879 / @fandomlover03bands-and-shietz / @wintersoldierbarnes / @keepyoureyesopenwide / @i-am-moody-yes-i-am / @fandoms-will-collide / @xcyber-queenx / @ly–canthrope / @kimskew / @mala-firebringer / @crazyjam-pot / @emotionlessteenblog / @piensa-bonito / @little-miss-headphones / @loricamebacklunacajun / @bisexualmotherfucker / @iamtrashsry / @vxidnik / @sergeant-james-bbarnes / @prussianengel / @alina-barnes / @mythrealfan / @darthestvaderever / @caitlyn1030 / @elleatrixlestrange/ @wintersoldiercomics / @letmebeyoursforever / @spidersholland / @directionerfae / @sweetlifeofadreamer / @gonnadiereading / @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan / @whataloadofmalarkey / @iwishiwasnicki / @alittle-crazy / @turdblossommm / @buckyisloved / @language-rxgers / @callmedaddys-blog / @disneychic8 / @me221187 / @the-divine-femme / @br3ndo

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fic #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers au #rrbf

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eryiss · 6 years

Text

Gambler’s Luck - Chapter Twelve

Summary: A drunken night at a bar; that’s how it always starts. A few shots, some self loathing and a decision you would never make when sober. But for Laxus Dreyar, the morning after doesn’t include regret, copious amounts of aspirin and a stranger in his bed. For he only made one drunken decision, becoming the personal driver for professional gambler - Freed Justine. [Fraxus Multi-Chap]

You can read it on FanFiction, Archive of Our Own or under the cut. You can also see the chapter list here. Hope you enjoy ^.^

Chapter Twelve – The Breakfast Conversation

Standing in his kitchen, Freed found himself oddly aware of his surroundings. He could see the condensation on the side of his kettle slowly getting captured by the boiling water; he could smell what he suspected was reheated Indian food from below his apartment that had snuck in through the open window; and, perhaps most importantly, he could hear the sound of water rapidly beating against the door to his shower cubicle in the bathroom adjacent to him.

A bathroom that was, at that time, occupied by Laxus Dreyar.

This fact was complicated for many reasons. The most prominent complication was that, the night before, Freed had come to the sudden and completely unwanted realisation he was starting to have feelings for Laxus. His employee. A man who was clearly vulnerable at that moment and didn't need his boss thinking of him in that way.

After what seemed like an explosive reunion with his mother, Laxus had visited his boss and stayed the night in Freed's living room. They'd talked to each other about what had happened, Freed suspecting that the both of them had shared more about themselves than either was normally comfortable doing. Then, once they had both retired to bed, Freed was left alone with the fact he had some kind of romantic feelings for Laxus. After an unpleasant night of dealing with the revelation – in which he had enlisted Bickslow's advice by texting him for his thoughts on the matter – Freed concluded he had no desire to let the mental chaos continue in the morning. Hence his attempt at distracting himself by focusing on anything and everything he could.

However, rather annoyingly, that focus kept staying to the sound of the active shower. Freed was just glad he wasn't a teenager anymore, he dreaded to think how he would react to the knowledge a bathing Laxus was metres away if he were still in the throes of puberty.

He shook his head slightly as he heard the gentle click of the kettle finishing its job. Seeing it as a distraction, he poured the boiling water through a strainer to make himself a mug of blueberry tea, a favourite of his. As he gently stirred the beverage and let it cool, he pulled his phone out from his pocket and opened the three unread messages he had from Bickslow after he had fallen asleep while waiting for a reply.

From: Bicks

Look freed this is all it boils down to. you either ignrore it or do something about it right? If you ignore it theres no problem. If you don't then you gotta find out if he likes guys and if he likes you then act on yout feelings when you know that. treat it like a normal relationship, forget he works for ya.

From: Bicks

You there dude? You asleep or making out with blondie. Cause if youre just ignoring me you can bet your ass that when im at yours next month im gonna whack you over the head for it :) :)

From: Bicks

Okay, G'night ya little baby. And when you wake up and read this just make sureyou don't freak out. You aint don't anything wrong and you aint gonna. Your doin a freed and over thinking crap. Nighty night. Xxxxx

Despite the fact the messages were doing the opposite of distracting Freed form his issues, the gambler chuckled. Bickslow had a way of making things seem considerably less severe in his way of phrasing things, all while managing to give pretty good advice. It was partly the reason why the two had remained friends despite living in different countries.

Gently sipping at the steaming drink he had made for himself, he leant back on his kitchen counter and listened as the sound of his shower slowly died down. He let out a small sigh, knowing that he would have to face Laxus eventually.

Freed hadn't been awake for long. When he left his bedroom, Laxus was already awake, dressed in the same clothes he had worn before and had returned the sofa bed into its normal state. They'd greeted each other a good morning, Laxus had asked if he could use Freed's shower – making sure that Freed knew he didn't want to impose and he could bathe at home if needed – and that had been the extent of their conversation before Laxus retreated to his bathroom. The brevity had worked in Freed's favour, but he knew he would have to let it fall sooner or later. Most likely sooner considering the fact Freed was going to offer Laxus breakfast, it was the right thing to do.

With a sigh, he placed his tea on the counter and went to reply to his friend. He had no doubt Bickslow would carry out his threat of violence against hins if he didn't get his reply the moment the gambler woke up.

To: Bicks

My apologies for falling asleep on you, but at least I didn't hurt your pride and force you to hit me. And I should thank you for the advice, I'll try to take it. Sorry for waking you up with my little problems, I'm sure you would have rather been sleeping.

He placed his phone on the counter and reached into one of the lower cupboards, taking out two large mixing bowls. He then manoeuvred his way around the kitchen, taking out the needed ingredients for pancakes as well as some bacon and syrup for their breakfast; he was a good host if nothing else. And he was willing to use the excuse of a guest to forego his usual breakfast of a less than appetising smoothie and a piece of bread covered in low-fat peanut butter.

As he whisked the mixture together for the pancakes, he looked up when Laxus opened the bathroom door and walked out. He was fully dressed again and dried off but looked a little more awake than he had before. He looked towards Freed, frowning a little at the bowl of batter.

"I'm making breakfast, pancakes and bacon." Freed explained. "I've more than enough if you want some."

"You sure?" Laxus asked, Freed nodding. "That'd be great, thanks."

Freed nodded again, watching as Laxus sat at the small breakfast bar that partitioned the living room from the kitchen. The gambler felt oddly tense about being around Laxus, hoping he hadn't decided to make the breakfast so that he could show off to Laxus but hadn't realised it. He diminished that thought immediately, there was no point in second guessing everything he did. Even still, he felt himself get more rigid and aware of what he was doing now Laxus was in his presence.

Focusing on quickly whisking the batter into the right consistency, he risked a glance towards Laxus. The blonde was looking down, his posture lacking the pride Freed had become accustomed to. As he poured the mixture onto a frying pan, Laxus looked up to the sound of the sizzling.

One glance at Laxus' face made Freed pause. The blonde was obviously going through a lot – more than Freed had expected, it seemed – as his face was a mixture or sadness he wouldn't allow to come forth and tiredness coming from an emotional state rather than a lack of sleep. When he compared both of their issues, Freed concluded that he would be acting selfishly if he claimed the issue of his budding crush was anywhere near as bad or emotionally taxing as Laxus' mother returning without warning after so long. Laxus was Freed's friend and the gambler needed to help him, rather than just getting messed up in his own thoughts.

"How are you feeling?" Freed asked after a moment.

"Okay, I think. Slept pretty well, but I think that's because your damn sofa bed is more comfortable than my own mattress." Laxus chuckled, somewhat bitterly. "I spent some of the night thinking about what I'm gonna do about her."

"And?"

"No idea." He sighed, resting his head on his hand. "Pretty much changed my mind every other second."

With a gentle nod, Freed reached over the top of his oven and decided to turn the pancake over using a spatula rather than flipping it, that would take away from the seriousness of the moment. After letting the batter bubble into the shape of a pancake, he carefully slid it down and onto a plate. He placed the food into his oven to keep it warm, pulling out some bacon to accompany them.

He had chosen not to speak so not to say the wrong thing. For all he knew, Laxus wouldn't be appreciative of what advice Freed had to offer, and it was likely the gambler's advice wouldn't be that useful given he had a clearly biased view against needing parents. Besides, Freed expected he would be able to predict what Laxus would end up doing anyway. Nobody was that conflicted about something if they didn't want to do it eventually, the blonde was most likely just scared of getting hurt again if he took the risk.

With another glance down to Laxus, Freed saw he was hunched up again and resting his forearms on the counter, fingers interconnected. The closed off body language told Freed his decision to be silent was the right one.

Putting his attention back onto the food before him, Freed slowly made them both breakfast. The only time the two of them had spoken, Freed had asked how many pancakes Laxus wanted; he claimed he was fine with three and that he was sorry he wasn't the best conversation at that moment. Freed assured him it was fine and understandable, placing his breakfast before him.

"Thanks." Laxus said as he looked up, reached for the bottle of syrup and poured it over his breakfast.

"Its fine." Freed assured him, taking a seat opposite Laxus on the breakfast bar, also pouring some syrup over his meal. "I couldn't exactly leave you without anything while I ate, could I?"

"I didn't mean about the breakfast." Laxus said, cutting into some syrup covered bacon. "Well, I did. But not just that. The breakfast is just part if it. Give me a second."

Freed offered Laxus a small smile, deciding that he would do as he was told and not interrupt Laxus' train of thought. He cut into his food and ate a small amount of it, glad to find that it tasted as good as it could have been. The equipment in his kitchen was impressive – he had pretty much every utility available – and he was keen to show any guests he had that they weren't just for show and they were used effectively. Freed enjoyed both cooking and baking, thankfully the little breakfast he had made proved he was also good at it.

After slowly eating his through some of his breakfast – silently noting the taste as he did so – Laxus looked up. He wasn't entirely sure what had brought the thought to his head, but the blonde knew he needed to say it.

"Okay. So what I meant was, thanks for pretty much everything." Laxus began again, Freed looking towards him to show he had his attention. "Like, I'm not sure if you know it, but the night we met was a pretty low point for me. You probably noticed, I was kinda shitty that night looking back. And the fact you offered me a job even though I was being a drunkass and feeling sorry for myself, it was really good of you. You've been real patient with me, through a lot of shit that really has no effect on your life. You could've easily just passed me off as a random drunk at the bar or, last night, you could have just said I could have a couple days off and brush me off."

"I like to think that we're a little closer than that, Laxus." Freed said, voice almost gentle.

"I know. I think that too." Laxus said immediately, not wanting Freed to feel as though he had misunderstood their friendship. "What I mean is, like, you didn't need to do any of that shit. You could have just treated me like some subordinate, never talk to me and look at me like some poor drunk or whatever. But you genuinely treat me like you actually, I don't know, care. Like, even last night, you weren't just being polite or patronising or whatever. You actually tried to help. And if you were being patronising and polite, you hid it really fucking well."

Laxus chuckled a little, and Freed couldn't identify if it was bitterly or not. Either way, Freed was half tempted to offer some sort of physical comfort to the other man – nothing more than a gentle pat on his hand – but went against it. It wasn't the right time for that.

Instead, the room was filled with the sound of a radio station Freed had put on before Laxus had left the shower, a further addition to his earlier attempts to distract himself, and the gently clinking of the knifes cutting through the pancakes and bacon. Freed knew that Laxus wasn't apologising because he wanted Freed to say something, it was most likely something Laxus wanted to get off his chest but didn't want it to be spoke of again. If all Laxus wanted was for Freed to know he was thankful, he had achieved the goal and nothing more needed to be said.

To the tune of some eighties pop song, both men finished their breakfasts. Freed, who had finished first, stood up and placed his plate in the dishwasher. He sat down and nursed his now cooled blueberry tea, looking towards Laxus as he finished the rest of his breakfast. He sat back in the stool, a sigh leaving his lips.

"That was really good." Laxus concluded. "If that's the normal quality of your food, you're a pretty good cook. You, like, take classes or something?"

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Freed smiled a little, taking the plate and placing it in the dishwasher, though not turning it on yet. "And no, I'm mainly self-taught. I learnt in the care-home, there was a lot of cook books, after a while you learn the basics and get experimental."

"You always liked it?" Laxus asked, sipping at some orange juice he had.

"At the start, no. When I was thirteen the care-home was understaffed and had a few young children who needed constant care, so we ended up having the same meal every other day because it was quick. I was getting bored of it and knew we had cookbooks, so I tried making some meals for myself. Eventually, as I grew a little older, I started to cook for more than just me and grew to like it. And it was always good to have a skill on my back pocket for when I needed work."

Laxus nodded, silently wondering what life living in an orphanage – or care home, as it was apparently called – was like. The only idea he had about it was from dramas that painted them as practically unliveable and with carers who hated kids and didn't hide it, but that was almost defiantly an exaggeration. Even still, living in a place where a thirteen-year-old had to cook for himself because the carers were so overrun didn't exactly pain a pretty picture, even if Freed was acting as if it was part of his daily life. In fact, the fact Freed seemed so nonplussed about it made it seem even worse for some reason.

The blonde was forced to think back to his own situation with his parents. With Ivan in jail one moment and out the other and his mother having left him completely, he had to rely on Makarov. They'd had their arguments, of course, but the old man had always been there for him. Without him, Laxus may have ended up in a care home himself.

Maybe he would have ended up in one with Freed. It seemed fate was pushing them together, given they went to the same gym, had a shared friend and met on the exact night where Laxus had needed Freed, perhaps giving Laxus crap parents was just fate's way of pushing them together further. Makarov getting in the way of fate's plan wasn't so farfetched either, the man was as stubborn as all hell when he wanted to be, especially about people he considered family.

Sadly, that thought lead him back to thinking about the issued with his mother, something he had done well to forget for the last few minutes. He sighed, deciding not to focus on it too much.

"Was that what you were gonna do?" Laxus questioned, looking to Freed with idle curiosity. "Work in the kitchen."

"It was an option. Magnolia has an endless number of restaurants, and you can live off of a chef's wages without much trouble." Freed explained, sitting back down. "And we were encouraged to be as employable as possible for when we became eighteen."

"Do you seriously get kicked out when your eighteen, or is that bullshit?"

"Technically, it's true." Freed sipped at his tea again. "But there's organisations to help with that if you have nowhere to go. And one of my carers, Bob, retired a few months before I left. He had a spare room so offered it to me while I found my feet, he still does it now I believe. But, to answer your question, you do essentially get kicked out, but it's not so bad you become homeless on your eighteenth birthday."

Laxus nodded again, glad to hear that Freed hadn't been thrown to the streets. He wasn't entirely sure why he would be bothered if that had happened, Freed obviously had no troubles with money or a place to live now. He supposed it was because nobody wants to hear bad things happen to people they care for.

After finishing his orange juice, he stood up and placed the glass in the dishwasher himself; it was literally the least he could do. As he looked to Freed, his mind was brought back to something Freed had said about why he had employed Laxus. Given what he now knew about Freed, he felt the statement had a higher level of importance.

"When I asked why you wanted me to work for you, you said people don't always get what the deserve," Laxus said, somewhat slowly. "Was that referencing you not, you know, having parents."

"Yes, although not because I think I was owed parents. Even as a child, I didn't particularly care if I was adopted or not," Freed said, watching as Laxus sat down again. "When you've lived in care, there's a stigma attached. People, whether they know it or not, assume you're a troubled child or have something wrong with you; sometimes this is true, but defiantly not always. Questions will be raised as why you weren't adopted, and this can affect your future. Without becoming a gambler, my horizons would have been average at best. It's something I accepted fairly young, but I still think it's unfair. When I saw you, I felt as though you were being limited by a situation you had no control over, like I had been, and I wanted to help you," Freed smiled a little, before adding. "My apologies if that sounds patronising."

"No, it doesn't," Laxus sent Freed a small grin to reassure him. "And even if it did, I still would have gotten a job out of it, so who cares?"

"I suppose so." Freed chuckled.

Once Freed finished his drink, he stood up and placed it in the dishwasher, this time turning it on. He looked back to Laxus to see him looking at his hands again. He seemed to be feeling a little worse again, perhaps the discussion of parents had brought back his troubles with his mother; the blonde really was an open book at times.

It was a quality that, until that point, Freed hadn't cared about. Previously, it had left to nothing more than a little teasing at the blonde's expense, but now it was showing Freed more things to like about him. An example of this was, when Laxus had walked past him, Freed could see a small dampness at the bottom of the mans hair. Freed had surmised that Laxus hadn't adjusted the height of the shower head for Freed's sake, despite it being set at a height not suited for Laxus' stature. That, along with the fact Laxus had perfectly replicated the locations of his coffee table ornaments after moving it, showed he was considerable more considerate than Freed had originally given him credit for. Like a lot of things about Laxus, Freed found it irritatingly endearing.

When he sat himself down again, he picked up his phone. It was face down on the counter and he had heard it buzz throughout their conversation but decided Laxus should be the priority. Now that the atmosphere had lightened somewhat, he opened the text.

From: Bicks

If you think id rather sleep than see you freak out about some guy you like then you don't know me freed. But you better take my advice cause theres no point in worrying about it. whatever happens happens. Blondie still with ya? If he is, tell him his favourite artist says yo. And use that exact word, I will know if you just say hi or some crap.

Freed chuckled a little at the text. Bickslow honestly was the best kind of person for Freed to be friends with. Someone to tell him not to overthink things and to just go with the flow while also lightening the mood. He rolled his eyes with a small grin as he typed out a response.

To: Bicks

You're a deplorable human being and that kind of bastardisation of words leads to the creation of phrases such as 'YOLO' and 'Bae.'

However, as you helped me last night I suppose it could be argued that I owe you something, so I will.

Although Freed looked up so he could make good on his promise, fully aware that the word 'yo' was one of few words that sounded bad coming from him, his phone buzzed immediately. He sighed almost silently, looking to the response with reserved tiredness.

From: Bicks

You really had to put them in quotation marks to make sure I don't think you actually said it yourself. And please film it so I cn watch you cringe. And so I know you did it.

After reading the text, Freed risked another glance towards Laxus. He didn't want to make Laxus feel uncomfortable by texting while he sat there awkwardly, but Laxus too was typing on his phone with a frown on his face, perhaps he had been holding off looking at his phone for the same reason Freed had. It didn't matter really, he quickly typed out a reply to Bickslow before the opportunity was lost on him.

To: Bicks

No, I will torture you with the doubt of you not knowing for sure if I actually said it or not. I hope that doubt eats your soul. That's all I have to say on the matter.

From: Bicks

Fine grumpy pants. But my freed cringe sense will tell me if it happened or not. See you in a couple weeks, your sofas still open right? Not got hunky blonde as a permanent guest now?

To: Bicks

You're more than welcome to stay. Although whether you annoy me To the point where I kick you out is another point entirely.

From: Bicks

That's fair. Love ya xxxxxxxx

With another roll of his eyes, Freed placed his phone down on the counter. When he looked back to Laxus, he saw that the typing the blonde had been doing had turned into scrolling, so obviously his conversation was over. Concluding that he wasn't going to be interrupting anything important, he leant forward slightly to get Laxus' attention.

"Sorry for ignoring you," Freed said, Laxus looking up from what looked like twitter. "Bickslow can be temperamental when you don't reply to him immediately."

"Don't mind," Laxus grinned a little. "So you two are actually close?"

"He lived in the care home with me. Left two years before me, but we shared a room for most of the time we were both there, so we bonded," Freed explained, chuckling a little. "I hope you don't mind, but I told him you enjoy his music."

"Nah," Laxus lifted a hand dismissively. "As long as you didn't make me sound like some creepy stalker or something. You didn't, did ya."

"I didn't. Whether he thinks of you like that or not is entirely different," Freed chuckled, seeing Laxus grin a little more at the comment. "He also instructed me to tell you that your 'favourite artists says yo.'"

At the word that was literally spat out with disgust, Laxus did something he hadn't expected to do when he had woken up that morning; laugh. It wasn't just a chuckle, or a snort, it was a full burst of laughter. The slight, clearly exaggerated glare on Freed's face did nothing to stop the laughter, eventually it forced him to rest his hand against his mouth to stop the laughter from looking so obvious.

Eventually, Freed let his forced scowl drop and just smiled at the blonde's display. It was good to see him smiling and more like himself after the mood he had been in last night. He had been too busy trying to help his friend at the time to notice at the time but seeing Laxus so solemn had been hard to witness.

When Laxus' laughter subsided – which took longer than Freed thought was fair, it wasn't that funny – his face fell slightly. Freed frowned in a silent question as Laxus played with his phone, the gambler thinking back to the obvious conversation Laxus was having on his phone while Freed was talking with Bickslow. The blonde had a face that was less than relaxed, so it was likely that whatever the conversation had been about was the reason for his sullen attitude returning.

"Are you okay?" He asked cautiously.

"Yeah, was just talking with Gramps," Laxus sighed. "Don't remember if I told ya, but he was the one who told my mom where I lived. Apparently, he was texting and calling me pretty much all night, turned my phone off so didn't get any of them until now. He wants to talk about it."

"Will you?"

"I have to, don't I? Can't ignore it forever," Laxus ran a hand over his face. "Maybe it'll help, 'cause I ain't coming up with any good ideas about what to do."

"Perhaps it will., Freed smiled solemnly. "And, unless you don't want it or consider it an invasion of privacy, I would like to offer my opinion," Laxus motioned for Freed to go on. "I'd say give her the benefit of the doubt and organise a meeting with her. The fact she's trying to reconcile says a lot, as harsh as this may sound, she didn't need to. And you shouldn't deny yourself the opportunity, you never know when it might be too late."

Laxus was silent for a moment, which gave Freed a moment to think about what he had said. He was very much of the mindset that family was earned, not given; this was particularly true with parents. It could be argued that Laxus' mother certainly hadn't earned the title, yet he had given the blonde advice that went against that mindset.

Perhaps he knew that was what Laxus needed, and that he needed to put his own view on parenthood to the back of his mind for the moment.

"I guess she didn't," Laxus mumbled a little. "You really think I should meet her."

"For closure's sake, yes," Freed nodded slightly. "And please don't think this is some kind of 'I didn't have parents, so you should be thankful for what you've got' kind of things. I just think this is what's best for you."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks," Laxus nodded, offering a sad smile. "I should probably go and talk to Gramps, if you don't mind."

"Of course," Freed stood up as he spoke. "Good luck."

Laxus smiled a little and stood up, walking towards the door to Freed's apartment. Freed followed him, watching as Laxus opened the door and leant against it. For a moment, they stood in silence and looked towards each other. In the few seconds of eye contact, Freed could practically feel all the emotions whirling through Laxus' head at what he was about to do. The gambler silently hoped that their time together had offered Laxus a short heaven from his mess.

Eventually, Laxus sighed and pushed himself off the door. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't avoid the situation any longer. With a final audible sigh and run of his hand over his face, he looked down to Freed for a final time that morning.

"Thanks for letting me stay. Out of everything, I don't think I thanked you for that." Laxus chuckled.

"It's fine. What else was I going to do?"

"Guess so," Laxus chuckled. "See you later then, boss."

"See you."

After giving Freed a single nod, Laxus slowly walked through the door and began to walk down the corridor towards the building's elevators. Freed went to close the door but caught Laxus turning around at the end of the hallway and turn back, so he pulled the door open again and looked to the blonde with a small amount of curiosity.

"It, erm, it looks good like that. Your hair, I mean. Suits a pony tail," Laxus mumbled just audible enough for Freed to hear from where he was standing. "Like, you can see more of your-" He gestured to his own face. "It's good. I think it suits ya, maybe wear it like that more often. I dunno."

The elevator had been called and the blonde had walked into it before Freed could reply to the compliment. As the blonde left his sight and Freed closed the door to his apartment, he was left with the intolerable lingering question about what the compliment had meant. Was it just an observation, had he wanted to leave the morning on a topic other than his complicated family life, or did Freed have the arrogance and perhaps naivety to believe that could have been Laxus' way of trying to flirt with him. The last option seemed most farfetched.

When he felt a buzz in his pocket, the gambler perhaps hoped his answer would be given to him. Instead, he was met with the sight of Bickslow's follow up text, which only elected a slightly disbelieving laugh at the absurdity of the situation Freed found himself in.

From: Bicks

You said it. I could literally feel the venom in your voice and how much you wanted to kill me flowing in my blood:) Did blondie laugh at ya. If he did, it means he's your soul mate. I know souls and that's totally how it works!

Frees shook his head in wonderment. How it was at all possible Bickslow could know Freed had said what he'd been demanded of was impossible enough, but the fact he could send a text where he claimed Laxus could be his should mate at the exact moment Freed was confused if the blonde had been flirting was practically absurd. The gambler quickly sent a reply.

To: Bicks

I don't think soul mates are his priority at the moment, Bicks. He's got a fair amount going on in his life and I don't think he needs romance in the way of that.

To: Bicks

But yes. He did laugh.

Hey all. Hope you enjoyed some more soft angst, some advice from the worst person possible, and a little follow up from last chapter's cliffhanger (if you can call it that). I'm surprisingly happy with how this chapter turned out, so I hope you all liked it.

As always, thank you so much for any comments and kudos you leave. They mean so much.

Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading. ^.^

#fraxus #freed justine #Laxus Dreyar #Ft: Gamblers Luck #freed x laxus #fanfic #fairy tail

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kpoptart216 · 6 years

Text

Taken for Granted (part 9)

Previous Parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

As you drove back to your apartment, you couldn’t believe the events that had just unfolded. Tonight was the best night you had in months and your heart was racing. Jin’s confession made your heart swell and you were surprised at where such confidence came from when you kissed him on the cheek.

As you pulled into your apartment, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

Jin: Hope you made it back ok~ I can’t wait for our date!!!

You smiled at the cute text.

Y/N: I just made it back.. and I can’t wait either~

Jin walked back into his own dorm with the biggest smile on his face, clutching his phone. After you had kissed his cheek, he couldn’t contain himself. In the brisk cold, he took a walk around the neighborhood in order to contain himself, but he was just so damn excited.

The boys didn’t fail to notice his big smile and red cheeks and the immediately began to tease him. “Jin Hyung, your cheeks are so red!!” Jungkook said as soon as his hyung stepped into the dorm.

“It’s probably because Y/N kissed him first!” said Taehyung, laughing.

“H-How did you know?!” Jin said in surprise.

“We have windows…” said Yoongi, sarcastically.

“You should have kissed her first!!” said Hoseok.

“Y-yah…how could I do that today” Jin said, fumbling while trying to take his shoes off.

“Why, she was able to kiss you. Wahh, I didn’t think she had it in her” said Jimin.

“It’s not like..like we kissed kissed… she just kissed me on the cheek!” Jin defended, placing his hand his cheek where you had kissed him.

“Well then, take the initiative when you ‘kiss kiss’ her, or whatever the hell that means” says Taehyung, still laughing.

“YAH! I’ll worry about that myself!” Jin said, turning redder.

“Soo, tell us what happened!!” Hoseok insisted.

“Well… I.. uh.. I confessed” said Jin, slowly.

“NO SHIT” said Jungkook.

Yoongi smacks Jungkook. “Ouch! Hyung!” Jungkook exclaims!

“What he means is, we figured that out. But like, what happened after you confessed?” Yoongi asks.

“Well… she said she feels the same way. And we’re going to go out on a date sometime soon” Jin mumbles.

“NOOO NOT MY Y/N!” Taehyung yells out of the blue. But Taehyung was absolutely delighted. He had been waiting to see you and Jin get together after looking at each other with heart eyes for a while now.

“Oh shut up” Jungkook says. “Hyung! You should surprise her on a date tomorrow. We’re going to get busy soon and I can tell that you don’t want to wait” Jungkook says.

“Oh, I forgot about our schedules” Jin says honestly.

“How could you forget about those” Namjoon finally says after keeping quiet for so long.

“Oh…my mind just wandered I guess” Jin says, running his hands though his hair nervously. Namjoon seemed kind of annoyed.

“We should get to bed guys, It’s late” Namjoon said before walking back to his room.

By the time you got home and went to bed, you thought you had seen parts of the sun rising. You had only left the boys’ dorm around 3am and though you lived close, your excitement kept you awake. You finally fell asleep, only to be awaken by the sound of someone knocking on your door. It didn’t register in your head for a second, but you were awake nonetheless. You turned to look at your alarm and to your surprise, it was already a little past noon.

You hadn’t bothered setting an alarm after you quit your job, but you were usually awake by 8am anyways. You heard the knock on your door again and you internally cursed at the person at your door. “Coming!!” You yelled, hoping they could hear.

You quickly patted your bed hair down and put on a sweater as you all but ran to the door. Who could it have been?

You opened the door without even bothering to look at who was there. A rush of wind came in through the door as you opened it, leaving your hair covering your face. You could see a figure behind your hair and though you couldn’t see him clearly, you could tell he was handsome. You brushed the hair away from your face and gasped as you recognized the figure standing in front of you.

“Oppa! What are you doing here?” You asked. There in front of you stood Jin, wearing a gray sweater, black jeans, and some dress shoes. His hair was styled naturally and you loved it that way. In his hands, he held his phone and also a bouquet of flowers- your favorites too.

“Hey sleepyhead!” he said, ruffling your hair. You had just kissed his cheek last night, and now, as you probably looked like a complete mess, you stood in front of Jin, while he looks like a Greek God. “I wanted to surprise you for our date today!” he says, laughing.

Your cheeks turn a deep red from embarassment. You half want to punch him and half want to close the door on his face. But since neither of those things were going to happen, you wrap your sweater closer to your body as if that was possible and try fixing your hair again.

“Sorry for just showing up. But hey, take as long as you want to get ready. You’re not doing anything today, right?” he asks eagerly.

“Not anymore” you grumble. Jin couldn’t help but chuckle. At this moment, you were just so incredibly cute. It was clear that you had just gotten up, but in that moment he had found you cuter than ever. To him, your hair was a perfect mess, and your sleepy face was something he knew he could never get enough of.

“Go on” he says, as he pushes you back further into your apartment.

You honestly couldn’t believe what was going right now. Did he really just show up at your door, looking like that? That was not fair. Unless you were still dreaming. You pinched yourself. Yep, definitely not a dream.

You quickly shower and go through the rest of your morning routine. As you come back of the shower in nothing but your robe, you quickly go through the entirety of your closet. What were you even supposed to wear?

“Hey Oppa?” you call out from your locked door.

“Yeah?” you hear him call back from what you were thinking was your living room. The boys had been to your apartment hundreds of times, so it wasn’t awkward having Jin over at the moment, though your heart was still racing from his sudden visit. When he mentioned the date last night, you didn’t realize it would be the very next morning… or noon.

“Uh.. what should I wear?” you ask. Honestly, you had no idea what he had planned and how he had planned anything so quickly. But you were still excited.

“Umm, do you still have that dress I gave you for your birthday earlier this year?” he asks, slowly.

“Of course, you dork. Why wouldn’t I?” you ask.

“well, you never wore it. not that I knew of anyways. I just figured you didn’t like it or something” he said truthfully.

“No, I love it. I just didn’t have anything to wear it to I guess. I’ll wear that then?” you asked, already pulling out the dress from your closet.

“Yeah!” he says excitedly. Jin thinks back to the time he bought you the dress. He was in the States for the tour and while he was just out and exploring the great city of New York with the rest of the boys, his eyes had landed on a baby pink dress while window shopping. He saw it and his mind immediately thought of you and without any hesitation, he stepped into the fancy little store and got you the dress in what he thought was your size. Did he care that the dress cost more than one month of your rent? Not a bit. He sure as hell wasn’t going to tell you the price though. Otherwise you would have shoved it right back into his arms. As long as he got to see you in it one day, it would be worth it, he thought all those months ago.

You on the other hand had always loved that dress. It was probably the nicest dress you owned and you all but treasured it. You were scared to wear it. It was just so soft and now you wondered if it was even going to fit, considering how much junk food you’ve been indulging in as of recently. But you ran your hands through the fabric of the dress and smiled. Pink was one of your favorite colors….and not because it was also Jins.

To your surprise, the dress had fit you perfectly. You eyed yourself in the mirror and you were surprised. You never considered yourself pretty, but wow. This dress just seemd to bring out the best in you, especially your mood. You put on some simple makeup and jewelry before taking one last look in the mirror and taking a deep breath.

Jin heard the door click, signaling that you were done. Though he didn’t mind waiting for you, he was still so eager to see you. The moment you stepped out though, he felt like the wind was knocked right out of him. Now that he thought of it, he had never ever really seen you dressed up. You were always dressed casually and though you were still beautiful, this was a whole new level.

“How is it?” you asked, looking down at yourself before looking back at him. Behind him, you could see the flowers already in a vase filled with water and you smiled at the gesture.

“You look…look so…pink” Jin says, nervously.

“p-pink?” you ask, kind of surprised.

“PRETTY! I meant pretty” he says, quickly correcting himself. You couldn’t help but giggle at his antics and dear god, it sounded like music to Jin’s ears.

“I guess that makes two of then, dork” you said, easing the nervousness.

“YAH, I’m handsome. I’m Worldwide Handsome, theres a difference” he says, playing along.

“Oh duh, how could I forget” you say, as you go and grab a coat, matching Jin’s sweater. And before you knew it, you were off on your very first date with said Worldwide Handsome.

Jin had taken you to his favorite restaurant, knowing that you would like it too. After that, you had gone to get some dessert at one of your favorites, knowing that Jin would like it as well. Fortunately for you, it seemed like all of Korea was busy today and everywhere you went seemed relatively empty. It was pretty easy to hide away from people who may have recognized him. You even had did the cliche and watched a movie. Even then, the theater was empty.

Soon, you both found yourself at a small arcade near the dessert stand, and there were only a few kids inside. Though you both were too old and too dressed up for the venue, you didn’t give a care in the world. You were having so much fun playing games with Jin and you both erupted in laughter, filling the entire arcade. Soon, the kids started to gather as you and Jin attempted to play DDR and laughed along with you when Jin complained that the game favored you. But he held your hand throughout the whole thing and you both didn’t notice the light blush on both of your cheeks.

After you both were done, you slowly made your way back to your apartment, not really wanting this day to end. Jin never let go of your hand and you didn’t complain one bit. He was your warmth on this cold winter day.

Pretty soon, you both arrived back the front of your door and you were surprised that the whole day had gone by. You fumbled around for your keys in your purse, knowing full well that it was in there from all the little sounds your keychains made, your favorite one being the keychain Jimin had brought you from Hawaii. Jin watched you as you looked for your keys and he smiled as your face scrunched when you couldn’t find them. But sadly, you had found them soon.

You gave him a sad smile as you fit the keys into the lock, and turned back to him.

“I uh.. had a really great time today, oppa” you said, lovingly.

“I did too, Y/n-yah. You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this with you” he said, smiling back at you. “I kind of don’t want this to end” he said.

“Well, then we should do this again.. soon.” you said, and Jin’s smile only got bigger as if that was even possible.

“I would love that” he said, bopping your nose. You giggled at the touch. God, that giggle would be the end of him, he thought. His eyes suddenly landed on your lips. Though it was cold and dry outside, your lips just seemed so pretty and soft.

“Can.. Can I kiss you?” he asks nervously as he takes another step towards you, now only a few inches away from your face. Your eyes widen slightly and your heart was racing again, as if it had ever stopped this whole day.

“You dork, just kiss me, don’t ask m-” you started but you were cut off when Jin placed his warm lips against yours. The kiss was warm and slow and my god, you knew you were going to be addicted. It was passionate and loving and you were running out of words to describe it all. One hand cupped your face as the other slid around your waist, pulling you closer into him. Your hands slid around his neck and got rid of any remaining distance between you as you melted into the kiss.

You eventually pulled away, both needing oxygen to breathe, but not too far away. You rested your forehead on top of his as he smiled. Jin could still the strawberry ice cream from you, as it only heightened his pleasure.

“You’re telling me I don’t have to ask you to kiss you the next time right?” he says while smiling. You nod as you laugh. “Good” he says, before kissing you again and you both smile into the kiss.

“So, does this mean, we’re officially dating now?” you ask, nervously.

“Nah, it’s been a good run. But I think this is where it ends” Jin says sarcastically. You give him a frown but he even found that cute. “Ok ok I’m kidding, I’m kidding” he says. “Will you be my girlfriend? I know this is only our first date, but I don’t think i want to wait to ask you any later” he says.

“Nah. I Don’t like you that much” you say, nudging him a little in his chest, giving him a playful smile. This time he frowned. “Ok fine, I guess I deserved that” he said, laughing again.

“Yes, I will be your girlfriend” you say, finally giving Jin the answer he had been dying to hear.

“Thank you” he says, as he pulls you into a hug, smiling into your hair as he places a soft kiss on it.

Soon after, Jin leaves you and the tiredness hits you. You just sit on the couch, replaying everything that happened today. You knew that you were going to treasure this day forever, and you were now in a relationship with someone as amazing as Jin. How the hell did you get so lucky? The smile never left your face. You don’t know how long you sat there, just smiling like an idiot, but you felt your phone buzz.

Jin: I just got back home. Thanks for today, girlfriend <3

You giggled at his text.

Y/N: Glad to hear it, boyfriend <3

Now it was Jin’s turn to smile at his phone like an idiot.

Jin: sweet dreams, beautiful. I’ll call you tomorrow :)

Y/N: night, worldwide handsome!

You figure you had been sitting on the couch long enough, especially since Jin had already made it back to his dorm. You finally got up to go change when you hear a knock on the door. Who could it be at this time of night.

You open the door, and the wind rushes into your warm, welcoming apartment again. This time, when you brush your hair away, the handsome man in front of you isn’t the Kim you were expecting. It was Kim Namjoon.

A/N: So I’m sorry that I never updated this. I’m so sorry, and sorry that it’s short as well. I won’t be able to update any fics for another three weeks, I hope you understand! Please give me feedback on this though!

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otomeshistarlight-blog · 6 years

Note

Do you think Ichi's kinky enough to have a lactating kink i feel weird for asking this sorry

Don’t feel weird at all! There’s nothing wrong with a lactation kink in and of itself, I actually find it to be pretty hot, but when its presented in porn it usually goes hand in hand with impregnation. Which I don’t really see any of the boys being into as far as a fetishes goes. They would probably want to have kids at some point and they’d love being dads, but it wouldn’t be a matter of ‘oh god, the only way I can cum is if theres a chance you might get pregnant! You’re my breeding sow hurrrr’ which is a sentiment I’ve seen all too often within the online kink community. Like they’re not gonna’ sit there and poke holes in rubbers or mess with your birth control just to knock you up. So that being said the following head canons for all six brothers are within the context of a normal pregnancy and its completely divorced from the impreg fetish. (Note: I am aware that induced lactation is a thing but thats a lot of work and patience and I don’t see the boys caring enough to put forth that much effort)

Osomatsu - He’s totally on board for everything thats happening to your body. Even if he might feel a certain amount of trepidation at first, he’d charge in with a big grin on his face and eagerly learn the new ins and outs regarding these changes. He loves it though, especially when you go up almost two cup sizes and the increased sensitivity in your breasts would just delight him to no end. The initial fascination with the milk coming out of you would pass quickly enough and he’d be more interested in sucking on your aching, puffy nipples until you spontaneously orgasm from that alone. The milk would just be a bonus but I have a feeling he’d find it too sweet for his tastes so probably not a big fan of the flavor itself.

Lactation kink? No, but he very much enjoys the side effects it brings and would definitely take advantage of them as long as you allowed him to.

Karamatsu: If you thought this man worshiped the female body before you got pregnant then hold onto your hats because he is going to double down on the attention he lavishes you with from head to toe. He’s definitely the type that would be just as excited, if not more so, than his partner to find out they were expecting and he would be completely hands on from day one. He’d feel immense joy watching your stomach round out and grow bigger, and he’d probably be more interested in that than your tits. However, we all know how horny pregnant women can get and he’s still a man with urges so he wouldn’t hesitate to map every inch of you with fluttering butterfly kisses while paying extra tender attention to your aching breasts. He might get a taste of the milk on occasion when he kisses your straining nipple or a droplet squirts out during sex and he laps it up but he’s not really going to have much interest in actually suckling. Thats nourishment for the baby, after all, and he would never dream of depriving them even one drop of your milk.

Lactation kink? No, its a purely biological function and he doesn’t sexualize it in anyway. Best dad of the six tbqh.

Choromatsu - I can definitely see this boy watching the occasional lactation porn and getting off to it (Japan has some of the best imo because they usually don’t take it to the weird extreme that Western lactation sometimes does) but he wouldn’t really consider it a fetish. Until it was actually presented to him, that is. From the start of the pregnancy he would look at it from a logical standpoint much like the second eldest but the moment he realized that your tits were leaking, all of that careful consideration would go completely out the window. He’d squeeze and knead your breasts just to watch the milk squirt out and his knew favorite position is one where he can suck on your nipples while he carefully thrusts into you. He’d probably like to titty fuck you a lot more often just to watch the white liquid ooze out and coat his dick but he’d have to force himself to reel it back some when the baby was born for obvious reasons.

Lactation fetish: Yes, but he wouldn’t go overboard with it. He finds it extremely arousing and it makes his cock hard as diamonds but he’d know when it was time to slow down a bit.

Ichimatsu: He’s a kinky boy and as such I’m quite certain that he’s seen his fair share of lactation porn. He enjoys it to a certain extent but what really gets him going is the humiliation aspect that can be and often is incorporated into the scene. I think the changes in your body would initially make him uneasy because he’d suddenly be looking at you as something fragile and he’d be scared of hurting you or the baby. But then one day when you’re distractedly talking to him about something before bed, he happens to glance down and sees a wet mark on your shirt. His mind would kind of hiccup in confusion but then he’d realize what it was, the two dots in the center of each breast is kind of a dead giveaway, and he’d immediately have flashbacks to the lactation porn. All of the pent up sexual frustration he’d been holding back since you announced that you were pregnant would come roaring to life inside of him and he’d spend long periods of time playing with your breasts just to watch the fluid ooze out. Massaging, kneading, pinching, licking, sucking - he would milk you dry while whispering filthy things in your ear the whole time and as a result he wouldn’t be so nervous about touching you anymore.

Lactation fetish: Yes, mainly for the power dynamic scenarios he’d put together in his head and it would help him feel more comfortable in regards to the changes that come with pregnancy. His favorite position is having you on hand and knee while he milks your aching tits until you desperately beg for him to fuck you.

Jyushimatsu: I don’t think he’d look at mothers in that way until it was his own wife who was pregnant. He never understood what Ichimatsu’s fascination with that kind of porn was but when he sees you cradling your full breasts for the first time, it would suddenly make perfect sense to him. The new curves and roundness of your body would be amazingly tantalizing to him and he’d eagerly offer to help soothe your discomfort. He gives great massages by the way so forget about foot and back pain, you got it made girl. Anyway, he’d start off kind of hesitant because the last thing he wants to do is hurt you but when he realized your chest was just naturally sore, he’d get a bit more bold. Carefully squeezing and rubbing, trying to make you feel better, but the second he sees a droplet of milk come out he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He’d latch onto your puffy nipples one at a time and I think he’d really enjoy the bitter sweet taste. His ministrations would be gentle and slow as he worked on bringing you some comfort and the warmth that settles in his stomach is just a perk as far as he’s concerned.

Lactation kink: Yes, he enjoys suckling on your tits but mostly he does it to make you feel better. He wouldn’t be sad when the time came for him to stop but he would occasionally jerk off to the memory when he’s in the shower.

Todomatsu: I really can’t see him being interested in this much at all. He wouldn’t watch the porn and even when his wife started lactating I think he’d look at it with a disinterested eye. Its not that he thinks its gross or anything and he’s not surprised by it either, he expected this to happen when you got pregnant after all, but it doesn’t do anything for him. He’ll play with your tits and lick them the same as usual but the interest for the milk itself just isn’t there. He would however take great pleasure in watching you squirm with your increased sensitivity making you writhe under him after just a few, fleeting touches. He thinks its cute how receptive your body is now and he takes great advantage of that as he teases you to the breaking point before finally sliding his dick inside you.

Lactation fetish: No, doesn’t really give a shit either way. He’s entirely unaffected by the whole thing but he isn’t complaining about it either. Completely neutral on the topic.

#Osomatsu-san #my writing

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