#the thought is hilarious but no she would not voluntarily go into one of these
Note
Would dragon Weiss let Ruby carry her around in one of these bad boys
why would she when ruby’s right there
#ruby rose#weiss schnee#derg AU#rwby#my art#hhjhjh your brain-#the thought is hilarious but no she would not voluntarily go into one of these
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The older Jefferson
Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x fem!Reader
Summary: After Rowley announces that his older (half-)sister, who lives quite far away and has never met the Heffleys, is going to visit him over the break Susan invites his family over for dinner. Her not being what Rodrick expects, he starts crushing, which results in him trying to impress her - failing horribly.
No physical description; No use of y/n
Word count: 1.9k
Warnings: None
A/N: Hi, just a quick warning that English isn’t my first language and that this is also the first time I’ve ever written a longer text in English that isn’t a school assignment. I also don’t fully understand Tumblr yet, which makes me honestly a bit anxious to post.
[This and a gender-neutral version are also posted on AO3]
“Why haven't you ever mentioned that you have an older Sister?” Rowley and Greg were sitting on the Heffleys living room floor - Rodrick occupying the whole space on the couch - playing a video game. Well, Greg was. It was a single-player. He promised they would take turns, but by now Rowley had been over for about two and a half hours and hadn’t even had the chance to touch the controller yet. He gave up on asking and settled on just watching about 45 minutes in.
“I talked about her before. Multiple times actually.” That is true. Rowley looks up to his sister a lot “Also, she is technically my Half-Sister. She’s been living with her Dad for longer than I remember. Normally we are the ones flying over to visit during summer break, but she hasn’t visited since she was a little Kid, and after her school schedule finally allowed it, we thought it would be a good idea if she, for a change, came here instead.”
“It sounds like you two get along great!” Mrs. Heffley walked in, holding a laundry basket under one arm while carrying Manny with the other.
“We do! I can’t wait to show her my room and have her around for the entire break! I have so much planned out already, it's gonna be so much fun! Best summer ever!”
“That sounds lovely Rowley, I wish Greg was so excited to hang out with Rodrick, but they just won't get along.” Susan sighed, throwing a pitiful glance at her two oldest, who simultaneously let out a laugh hearing this.”
“Yeah, never gonna happen.” Greg says, “I would rather spend the whole summer in school than voluntarily hang out with this idiot.”
“My Sister is actually around the same age as Rodrick.” Rowley buts in. Greg doesn’t understand how this is relevant, but it probably adds to his mother's yearning for her two oldest sons to get along. Rodrick lets out a laugh hearing that.
“I can’t wait to meet them. Just imagine an older, female version of Rowley. That’s actually fucking hilarious!”.
“Watch your language! Also, I'm sure she is wonderful.” Gregs Mom loosens her lecturing stance, turns around, and smiles at Rowley “I would love to have you and your family over for dinner sometime. It has been a while since I’ve seen your parents and I would love to meet your sister.”
“That sounds great Mrs. Heffley. I will ask my parents as soon as I get home!”
That brings us to about a week later, when the Jefferson family, including their oldest daughter, is standing in front of the Heffleys House, ringing their doorbell.
Rowley has been telling you all about his best friend Greg for years, which made you somewhat excited about finally meeting him. However, you can’t say that the picture your brother painted is entirely positive, finding him rather irritating in many of the stories you were told over time. You aren't too mad though, assuming it is normal for young, teenage boys to act like jerks every once in a while. Not everyone can be such a sweetheart as Rowley. Overall you're glad your brother managed to maintain such a long-lasting friendship.
And then there was Rodrick. You've heard rather interesting stories about him as well. In the beginning, you found those quite amusing, that was until you realized that Rowley was genuinely terrified of him. Not the best first impression someone could make on you. Influenced by seeing your younger sibling grow up to be such a sweet and genuine person you tend to be a bit protective from time to time.
You hear some hushed voices from inside, and you can identify one of them as female, reminding someone to behave. Then the door opens and a woman, who you assume to be Mrs. Heffley, kindly smiles at you. Your suspicion is confirmed a second later when she introduces herself and shoos you into the house, before continuing to greet the rest of your family.
Crossing the threshold you can now see a man standing slightly behind Greg's mother. He introduces himself as Frank, making quite a kind impression on you. Then he leads you into the living room to meet his sons.
The two older ones hardly even notice you at first, too occupied with arguing and rowing with each other.
“Boys!”, their father speaks up, successfully catching their attention. Rather comically their gazes fall from their father to you, their eyes widening and their mouths dropping open. You were not what they expected. While Greg looks just shocked, you would describe Rodricks state as mesmerized.
He recovers fast, pushes Greg off of him, stands up, and puts on what he hopes is a charming smile. Extending his hand he starts to introduce himself.
“Hi, I’m-”
At least he tries to.
“Rodrick. I know. My brother has told me one or two rather interesting stories about you”, your smile is sharp. He gulps, his confident smile turning sheepish, cursing Rowley in his head. You are not what he expected and you are definitely not anywhere close to being a female carbon copy of your, in his eyes, embarrassing younger brother.
He normally wouldn’t consider himself the kind of person who has a type, but from now on, if someone asked, he would probably revert to describing you. You were just ethereal, everything about you was attractive to him. The way you walked, talked, and carried yourself, but also your clothing and hairstyle. Your pretty face just rounds up your whole appearance, making you all the more alluring.
He had to get on your good side. While a family dinner, especially with Greg present, may not be the best opportunity, he could ask Rowley to put in a few good words for him. That kid was easily influenced (or intimidated). Still, making the best possible impression over dinner wouldn’t cause any harm either.
You turn to the other boy who has been silently watching the exchange. Now that your attention is on him he starts feeling nervous as well. Your expression, however, turns a bit more friendly.
“And you must be Greg.” he nods. You introduce yourself and lastly say hello to Manny who is sitting on the floor playing with some figurines. By now the others have entered the room, causing Susan to start leading you all to the dining table.
You’re seated between Rowley and Greg, across from Rodrick, which results in quite frequent eye contact. On one side you really want to intimidate him a bit. This could maybe make your brother's life a bit easier, at least for the time being. On the other side, you do want to make some conversation, maybe throw in a bit of (family dinner appropriate) flirting or at least find out if he’s single.
It’s really hard to hold a grudge against someone who is entirely your type.
While you’re conflicted, Rodrick, on the other hand, is sweating. Nervously fidgeting in his seat. You didn’t seem as irritated with him anymore, if the eye contact was anything to go by. Was this his chance to redeem his shitty first impression? He cursed his brain for failing to come up with something cool to say.
Since when is it so hard to talk to girls? Is it getting hotter in here? What impresses girls? What does he normally brag about? His band! That’s it. Now he just has to bring it up somehow. Maybe he can bribe Greg to ask him about it. No, that’s too risky, he can’t count on Greg to not fuck this up. He is just going to casually bring it up ‘I’m in a band by the way, pretty sick huh?’ ‘Do you like music? Cause I’m in a band’ No that’s stupid everyone likes music… ‘Which kind of music do you listen to?’ That’s good, he should bring up the topic of music first, that’s a normal conversation topic. After that step two is to bring up the band. That’s easy, he got this.
Now he just needs to wait till your attention is on him again and then he can smoothly lead the conversation in the desired direction. He has to calm down, he can do it.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Your eyes meet again.
“I’m in a band!” He speaks way louder than intended, his voice is squeaky, and in the middle of the sentence he has the most embarrassing voice crack imaginable.
Silence.
The sole attention is now on him. All he hears is Greg's snickering which causes him to kick him under the table.
“Ow!” That was not Greg's leg. He looks up to see you looking at him with a questioning expression.
That’s it. He fucked up. His chances were already low, but he still managed to shrink them even more, making them most likely completely vanish. Great. His ears were ringing, all he can hear is Greg's quiet laughter in the background.
“I'm sorry I didn’t mean to kick you, I-” he starts his apology but loses track of what he is trying to say when he sees your expression change. You're clearly trying to suppress a smile, but it's not working at all.
“You’re adorable.” Rowley chokes on his food, and Greg's laughter abruptly stops
“Rodrick? Adorable?” That’s it. Greg gives up on ever trying to understand girls. How can his stupid older brother embarrass himself like that, then kick the poor girl under the table and still be perceived as adorable by her, especially since she is so much out of his league?
Rodrick however, was still not functioning properly.
“So that band, is its name by any chance Löded Diaper?”
“Yeah.” He is proud of himself for speaking at an appropriate volume without stuttering. “How do yo-”
“I saw your creepy white Van in front of the house. What’s up with that, kidnapping little kids as a side hustle?” You are still smiling, and with your stupid joke you somehow manage to relax the atmosphere a bit, the adults going back to their conversation.
Rodrick too is now smiling, looking at you with an expression you could only describe as lovestruck, even though you just insulted him.
He is contemplating making a joke about how the space in the back could be quite useful for more than just trapping kids but decides against it, fearing to make it awkward again. Getting nervous about taking too much time to come up with an answer he instead lands on “No only kidnapping pretty girls like you.”. As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets it, realizing it's in fact not a funny and flirty thing to say, but honestly rather creepy.
At the end of the evening, Rodrick has messed up flirting with you multiple times, however, it’s his luck that you find his desperate attempts to look cool to impress you weirdly endearing. Not that he realizes that. Calling Rodrick confused, questioning why you were still talking to him, would be an understatement.
He certainly doesn’t know how he can have messed up so many times and still end up finding a little note with your number on it in his pullover hood after you left.
#rodrick heffley x reader#rodrick x reader#rodrick heffley#fem!reader#diary of a wimpy kid#fluff#first meeting#oneshot#x reader#reader insert#fanfic
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G Witch episode 17 thoughts
The one where everything goes wrong (but I like angst so we're cool gwitch, I luv u)
It's late, I'm braindead and emotionally everywhere with this episode but that's just an average Suletta Sunday. Let's go!
We saw this coming a mile away but it's still tough to watch Mio fall right into Prospera's machinations, even if she's aware. She just loves Suletta so much and wants her free, striking a deal with this metaphorical devil to do it. But faustian bargains never come without a heavy price.
Already posted some of my thoughts about this on twitter but there's more room to ramble here so you all will suffer for it. It's so clever and painful for these two to be having two separate convos happening at the same time; a common theme with them like we see in ep10. Mio seems resigned but still checks if Suletta will voluntarily cede Aerial without a duel. Suletta, believing she's being tested after their previous conversation, states firmly she won't. Her desire for Mio''s approval is so blatant, with the added subtext of 'Yes, there are precious things I can't give up.' Aerial is one of them, and I think we'll see Mio is the other. Her little shy looks at Mio are so cute ;-;
Shaddiq is being... Shaddiq. I am wondering what his end goal for gundams will be considering as far as we know, Aerial is the only one that doesn't take a pilot's life. Is he so convinced they're the future for Earthian liberation? It's a quick but interesting bit of intrigue.
LMAO GET WRECKED 5LAN. This was hilarious and a long time coming. I was getting really sick of his predatory antics. Looks like he well and truly burned any lingering fondness. Interesting he lets slip he's not the same Elan though. I wonder if she caught that? Guel coming in clutch for the save was a neat callback to ep1
Too bad for Guel, Suletta is completely down bad for short sassy girlbosses. This convo was quite endearing though since Guel accepts her rejection without a fuss. He even seems to support her feelings for Miorine and vice versa, as we see later. I suspect it's this exchange which prompts Miorine to bargain with him; her support of Jeturk/hand in marriage in exchange for his company backing. It was a tough decision for her to make, returning to a man she despised over love, but the Guel here is very different from ep1 Guel.
GOD, If this doesn't sum up her motivations in a nutshell. She wants Suletta free and happy. Away from her manipulative mother, from gundams, from Benerit; everything Mio does is for Suletta, including trading her own freedom in return and marrying a man she doesn't love. There's something to be said for her martyrdom blinding her to the truth that Suletta loves her just as fiercely. I imagine Mio thinks she's doing what's best for Suletta, that she can move forward without her. Of course, we know the truth. I'm weak for them ;-;(There's also a deep irony when you realize she's effectively doing the same thing as Delling)
I was wondering if Guel would have ptsd after earth, and the answer is OH YEAH. He was a mess. War does a number on you, even if logically you know this is just a duel. I felt bad for him, but I'm glad the show depicted this.
THIS. WAS. SO. RUDE. You can't just reveal Suletta was daydreaming about their future wedding while the godforsaken BIRTHDAY SONG plays. I had to watch that multiple times because of the sheer audacity. And Mio's shaking hands as Suletta basically proposes?? It was too much but hurt so good.
This was interesting though. Before Mio cuts Aerial's power, Eri apologizes. Did she know and was complicit? We read in Cradle Planet Eri wants Suletta to be free of Prospera's revenge, so did she allow this plan because it would give Suletta freedom? I like to think so, tragic as it is.
I knew that visor had something to do with GUND. Something tells me this will be the catalyst to getting Miorine an eye implant. (The ED told me)
Utena parallels aside, this moment was telegraphed from the first conversation between them this episode. I've seen many malign Mio over this, completely ignoring she's making what she *thinks* is the best decision for Suletta.
Is it hypocritical? Unfair? Sure. But it's hardly nonsensical or sudden. She's overly harsh because she believes it'll free Suletta from her entirely. Suletta won't fight for her if she thinks Mio never cared. We the audience know she's being played - Mio knows it too - but she still thinks this is the only way to sever Suletta from her mother. She was faced with a terrible choice and is deciding to be selfless. My heart aches for them both.
This was masterclass in heartbreak, gotta admit. She was twisting that knife. I understand the anger somewhat, but look at the bigger picture here. We can still see Suletta return cool-san, maybe on one knee?
I can't wait until next week when... whaz tha? you say it's TWO WEEKS?! 🫠🫠🫠
#g witch#g witch spoilers#g witch episode 17#sulemio#miorine rembran#suletta mercury#gundam witch from mercury#guel jeturk#prospera mercury#Guess i'll crawl under a rock#or play zelda ffs
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Thought it would be fun to do an intro post for each of the three households I'll be rotating through in my historic sims file. Also told my buddy @schitzophrenicrainbows I would make one of these. It'll also help me keep things organized as I play the challenge since I'm committing details to writing.
Up first and beneath the cut, we have a little history dump and our Gladiators.
Gladiators initially started out as poorer people and slaves who were inscribed to fight and train in the gladiator schools, Ludus Magnus. Over time as people began to see the fame and honor that could be won in the arena, though it was more rare, people did start to voluntarily join these gladiator schools.
Due to the popularity of gladiator fights, and how pricey it got to train and house them, not every single gladiator fight was to the death for its contestants. (For the purpose of Finn's story/challenge rules, his fights will be.)
There's debate whether the infamous "thumbs down" actually meant the opponent HAD to die or not. It could have just meant they were disgraced and couldn't compete anymore, but I can't find definitive answers one way or the other, and the opinions I found on this often contradicted each other. (I could probably text my sister with three degrees all about ancient to medieval Italian/Roman history, but how do I explain to her I need to know for my Sims game lmaooo) All that said, gladiators often didn't live past their mid-twenties given the hazards of the job.
Gladiators were also sex symbols (do yourself a favor and look up ancient Roman graffiti. Humans are the same now as they were then lmao). Idk how much that'll play into my game but Finn does have to find a partner and have kids so the legacy continues but we'll get there when we get there.
Rana
Rana is the gladiator who has been at the Ludus Magna the longest. Her traits: Creative, Self Assured, Loyal.
She came from a wealthy merchant family, but the family business didn't interest her much. She left home when she was young to find herself and ended up finding the arena. She picked up sword fighting quickly and proved her aptitude for not only fighting, but teaching others to fight as well. These days she only competes occasionally, as she has proven herself invaluable in creating more gladiators.
She's hitting a point where the losses of her pupils, and more importantly friends, are starting to weigh on her. She likely isn't going to just be allowed to retire, though, so she has to figure something else out.
Apollo
Apollo named himself after a Greek God because he thinks he's hilarious. (This is debatable if you ask anyone who has spoken with him for more than five minutes.) He ended up at the Ludus Magnus due to his sense of humor; turns out a Senator doesn't like it when you make jokes about their philosophical ideas, even if they are stupid.
He doesn't enjoy the gladiator lifestyle much if he's being honest, and is counting down the days until his "voluntary" contract with the school is over so he can use what money he's won and travel the world like he's always wanted to. His self absorption is part him being young, and part it being a front for the fear he has of not living out his dreams and he wears it like a protective front. His friends know better, though.
(He also thinks Spartacus is cute, but he's certain Spartacus is going to stay a gladiator till he dies and that doesn't work with what he wants in the long run.)
His traits are: Loves the Outdoors, Self Absorbed, and Outgoing.
Spartacus
Disclaimer: I did not make Spartacus lmao. I was hitting create-a-sim burnout so I hit up the gallery to find someone else's Roman themed sim. Although I did make some minor changes to his wardrobe, added scars and swapped out a couple of his traits, which are: Athletic, Proper, Loner. I ended up keeping his name because while it's on the nose for a gladiator, it fits.
Spartacus is a former member of the Roman Legionnaires. He was released from his service due to an injury he sustained abroad. Once he had healed, he found civilian life to be difficult to adjust to, so he signed a contract with the Ludus Magnus. He's here for a good time, not a long time.
But lately, he's been spending more time with Apollo, and he's starting to change his mind. But surely someone as handsome as Apollo wouldn't be interested in someone who'd rather spend his time meditating than socializing at a party...
Finn
Finn's traits are: Athletic, Loyal, Ambitious
Finn knew the risks he was taking when he killed Antonius, but he doesn't regret it. He's now plotting his escape, and if his new found friends can survive, he'll bring them with him if they like. He really just wants to get back to Britain to what's left of his family and help them take back what is rightfully theirs and drive the Romans out.
By challenge rules, he has 10 fights to get through first. I also have to receive a silver medal or higher on at least 50 events, and I'll probably use his fights to accomplish at least 10 of those. (I've done six so far).
Will probably go over Laelius' household next along with the parts of the challenge they'll be completing, followed by his daughter's. Who I don't think I've posted so far.
#i am very normal about the sims#the roman empire is currently my roman empire#ts4 history challenge
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Rowena and Being Needed
For a supposedly uncaring, cold-hearted person, she sure thrives on being needed or appreciated even in her early seasons.
The lengths this woman will go just to see Sam Winchester smile at her in gratitude.
It 10x19 “The Werther Project”, she begins by making absolutely sure that Sam knows he needs her.
And while Sam does seem impressed, it still doesn’t quite do the trick and he’s about to leave, so she has to kick it up a notch.
She stresses again that she’s the only one he can turn to for help in this situation (while coincidentally using the chance to reinforce her point by covering his hand with hers... absolutely nothing to see here, very normal enemy behavior. She’s not at all fascinated by a hunter who would turn to a witch for help rather than hunt her.)
Even within the same episode, there’s a repeat of this...this mating dance she’s performing here for the man she’s so clearly attracted to from the start:
Little did she know that she got under his skin the same way he got under hers, and that she did, in fact, already manage to lure the first smile out of him.
She actually seems affronted when he rejects her help, and with that rejects her statement that he needs her.
Even less did she know that at this point, she didn’t only have Sam smiling at her. She had him hallucinating her touching his arm in a mirror to the real touch from before, in the strangest mixture of sexually charged blood sacrifice and linguistic validation (Sam, what is your mind!)
But that hallucination is a whole separate topic I already discussed here. It’s just hilarious to think how delighted the real Rowena would be if she ever found out about the contents of the hallucination.
In 10x21 “Dark Dynasty”, after Sam has taken her as his prisoner, she constantly tries to assert her position against Charlie, making sure Sam still has a need for her, too.
(And yes, she does manage to make him smile again in the process.)
Sam “The Turf” Winchester then proceeds to reassure her that she is still needed, and only then does she calm down and stop bristling at Charlie for the time being (admittedly, not for very long, but at least for this scene).
Just the fact that he recognizes what she’s doing and knows exactly what she needs to hear is... quite something. Especially considering that she’s supposedly his enemy and he shouldn’t give a damn over what she needs or doesn’t need to hear.
The little smile Sam draws out of her when he openly tells her “We need you” in 11x22 “We Happy Few” is kind of killing me.
She likes this feeling.
She likes it so much even that in 12x11 “Regarding Dean”, she voluntarily shows up to help them without even having been asked to come in person, and without asking for anything specific in recompense.
Yes, she wants the Black Grimoire, but the episode clearly shows us on her face and in her actions multiple times that that isn’t all she cares about here, even though Sam is still oblivious to this fact. She saves Dean from the amnesia curse, and she almost dies this episode trying to save Sam, rushing to his rescue as soon as she hears his pained screams over the phone.
The show, for reasons I cannot understand, chooses not to give us the expression on her face in that moment. It also does not to show Rowena driving Baby with amnesiac Dean on the passenger seat, even though that’s exactly what must have happened. And I reallyreallyreally needed to see both of this!
At the end of the episode, when Sam takes the Black Grimoire away from Rowena, the thought of using a stun spell or something similar on him to flee with the book doesn’t even seem to cross her mind at all.
I think what she really wants is for Sam to give her a repeat of this feeling, to show her again and again that he needs and appreciates her. She wants him to consciously leave the book in her possession as a token of trust, that’s why she doesn’t fight him over it and grudgingly gives it to him when he demands it.
But she does, without exception, manage to put some variation of a smile on Sam’s face basically every single time she does one of her little stunts.
In 13x12 “Various & Sundry Villains”, Rowena has just returned from her most violent death at Lucifer’s hand and a very slow, painful resurrection that lasted months until her body was restored.
But she doesn’t even consider just walking up straight to the bunker and telling them she’s back alive (and so traumatized by her death that she’s canonically too scared to even sleep at night.)
No.
She has to concoct an intricate plan because she thinks she has to be useful to be welcomed back. (Sounds a lot like a certain angel, if you ask me.) That she has to be needed to receive any of the warmth of that feeling Sam gives her, which she’s craving now more than ever before, after that horrible death.
Not that she’d ever admit to herself that that’s why she’s doing this. She can logically reason all of it away by needing the spell from the Black Grimoire to unlock her powers, though again, the episode gave her many chances to just grab the book and run, which she never attempted even just once.
Neither did she even try to stick to her original deal with the witches, which was supposed to end with the book in her possession. Instead, she went back to the bunker with the Winchesters after saving Sam from Dean, and apparently let enough time pass there for all three of them to wear different outfits when they confront the witch girls.
At the same time, she's desperately trying to cling to her old belief that love is weakness, which she had to tell herself after getting her heart broken so thoroughly over 300 years ago that it almost destroyed her.
(image from 11x10 “The Devil in the Details”)
She loved that man who impregnated her and left her to give birth to their baby all alone on a straw mat in a barn where she almost died from internal bleeding, without anyone around to even know or care if she did.
And that was when Rowena was still her genuine, far more innocent young self.
If her lover didn’t care about her then, how could anyone possibly care whether the flawed, petty, evil creature she has become lives or dies?
(And that is what she’s still thinking of herself at this point, as is shown 7 episodes later this season when she calls herself that.)
So before letting Sam know she’s alive again, she makes absolutely sure that his reaction to her return from the dead will be a positive one because she thinks she has to. (And she couldn’t bear it if he didn’t care.)
She has to make sure she’s needed.
And she does this by... hiring two witches to curse Dean, creating a mirror to the situation where Sam last called for her help.
Just that the curse this time isn’t something lethal at all, merely a harmless and easy-to-stop love spell that she probably imagined Sam having actual fun watching as it plays out. The fact that a love spell is the first thing that came to her mind when creating this plan is also giving me Thoughts (tm).
I doubt she ever expected that Dean would end up trying to strangle Sam or that Sam’s life would be in actual danger. As soon as it is, she heroically swoops in to save him, though, so that makes her plan work even better than intended.
And then in the bunker, she even says out loud that they need her tracking spell to get the book back.
That they need her.
And she does get everything she wanted out of this. Both Sam’s smile and obvious welcome of her return to life, and even finally his trust. She never tries to flee with the Grimoire throughout the entire episode. No, she wants Sam to give her the spell voluntarily, and she has been working towards that goal from the start of the episode.
And she achieves it.
My god, the twists and turns this woman’s brain does just to strengthen her bond with Sam—and all of that without realizing that’s why she’s doing it. Gaaaah! I’m losing my mind here just thinking about this.
After being told by Sam this episode that Crowley has died, she had some epiphanies because her next appearance in 13x19 “Funeralia” shows her mad with grief over the loss of her only child that she herself wanted dead 3 seasons ago.
So she’s suddenly feeling things she hasn’t allowed herself to feel ever since the night of that betrayal by Crowley’s father. We’re actually watching the progression as her heart unthaws over the seasons.
But it isn’t before this episode that she is ready and willing to admit to herself how overwhelmed she is by all these contradictory feelings she has no experience whatsoever with, other than locking them out (love, loss, grief, guilt, fear, loneliness.)
And what she does in this situation is ask Sam for advice for the second time because he has shown her repeatedly that he gets her despite everything, despite being the deadliest witch around (which he calls her with fondness of all things!)
After that, she’s honestly just gone on him, in a way that’s even more unhinged than before. She already stopped asking for recompense for helping them in season 12, but from here on out it seems there’s barely anything she wouldn’t do.
They ask her for help to save their family, and even though Sam warns her that Lucifer—her biggest fear and the reason she is too scared to sleep at night—is back and likely to get involved, she agrees to help them after Sam said they need her.
In 13x21 “Beat the Devil”, she is left all alone in the bunker after having been forced to push Lucifer through the rift in self-defense when he was trying to kill her (again).
She looks exhausted and very done with the world after just having had to relive her biggest nightmare.
But it’s only when her gaze falls onto the spell bowl keeping the rift open that no longer has a source of grace now that Lucifer is gone that her look changes into one of sheer panic.
Still very rattled by having had to confront her Lucifer trauma and just very narrowly having made it out of the situation alive, she’s overwhelmed again.
It’s hard to sort out her priorities after centuries of solitude by choice, of telling herself like a mantra that there’s nothing in the entire world that she loves.
(It’s actually heartbreaking that not only did she say she didn’t love any person in 10x23 “Brother’s Keeper”, she said she didn’t love anything. Her entire life had been empty here!)
There’s nobody around to turn to for moral orientation. It’s just her all on her own in the quiet of the bunker, surrounded by the treasures of the Men of Letters, ancient enemies of all witches.
All she has to help her with the decision this time are her centuries of experience of how she has dealt with things so far. So she tries to do what she logically knows her old self would have done, which is grab the book and run without a care in the world.
(Very interesting that she only mentions Sam and Dean here, when they were accompanied by both Cas and Gabriel—whom Rowena had been making out with as soon as it was clear that Lucifer would be involved in their plan.)
She doesn’t have to be told she’s needed here. She knows it.
Her experience might not be the only thing at her disposal after all to help her with the decision.
There’s also a nagging, burning feeling that she refuses to acknowledge the name of.
But she doesn’t need a name for it to act on it.
And suddenly, it’s not hard at all any longer to sort out her priorities.
All the treasures around her stop mattering.
Her own near-death and trauma stop mattering.
She pours everything she has into the one thing that does matter now, to the point of almost passing out from exhaustion.
And just as an aside, on the other side of the rift, that sentiment is mirrored by Sam one-to-one. Sam dies in Apocalypse World, gets resurrected by his own biggest trauma in the form of Lucifer (which is even worse for him than getting killed by Lucifer would have been).
Sam has no idea if Dean, Cas, and Gabriel managed to escape that tunnel where he died. But the first person Sam asks Lucifer about is Rowena.
Yep, really. I’m not making this up.
I cannot even stress how meaningful this is.
Rowena watches in near-desperation as about 30 people step out of the rift one after the other. She can feel her powers waning, she knows she has already pushed her limits beyond what should have been possible during all these hours she’s done nothing but keep the rift open.
”Disposition affects execution,” is what she said to be one of the cardinal rules of magic, and she has done all of this in a state of complete shock over her own near-death.
And I’m so mad at the show for depriving us of the moment when finally, at a point where Rowena couldn’t have managed to keep the rift open for another 5 seconds, Sam is the very last one to pass through.
And we were not shown the expression on either of their faces in that moment, even though we spent precious episode time on Rowena’s detailed reaction to a lot of the other characters stepping through.
I mean, come on.
After all this build-up?!
Why?
I’m almost willing to forgive it, though, because while we didn’t get their instant reactions to seeing each other again, we join them in the middle of an ongoing conversation a little later (who knows how long they have been talking with each other already):
Tell me they weren’t in love here. Tell me, because this scene makes me silently scream inside of myself at the top of my lungs.
It seems almost small in comparison that in 14x07 “Unhuman Nature”, she drops everything and rushes to Sam’s aid when he calls her.
I’m having even more Thoughts (tm) now that this time Sam is the one who creates an artificial mirror of the situation where Dean was cursed and where Rowena voluntarily chose to help them without recompense for the first time.
Sam pretends that instead of Jack, Dean is the one suffering under some kind of magic-induced ailment to get Rowena to come to the bunker.
And not only does she heed the call, she brings the Book of the Damned. Voluntarily.
The meaningfulness of this gesture easily gets lost in everything that’s happening. In that weird way they’ve always done things between them, the books are both a flirtatious game, but also a symbol for their growing trust in each other.
And she voluntarily carries the last book she stole from the bunker straight back into it, outright telling Sam she brought it and obviously having no intention of stealing it again. I cannot. I really cannot with these two.
Now watch a 300+-year-old witch and a badass hunter who have both been through Hell act like teenagers around each other while Jack of all people is the only adult in the room.
They continue playing their game of “I always come when you call” in 14x14 “Ouroboros”.
And in 15x02 “Raising Hell”:
If his face looks far less happy about her arrival here than it did the other times, it’s because Sam had actually been in the middle of a fight with Cas that saw Sam almost-yelling. In comparison to just a second before, his expression actually has softened considerably.
When I said earlier that Rowena had gone unhinged in the things she would do for Sam, I seriously meant unhinged.
Because this is the first time in centuries that someone has needed her.
Or appreciated her.
Or wanted her around.
Or cared.
I’m... fine.
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untitled because this was created out of boredom (i dont even stan skz LMAO)
y/n -- your name
b/n -- (fake)best friend's name
thursday, 8:52 p.m.
Y/N was invited to attend a party. The boys in the fraternity, SKZ, are the hosts. Y/N's not really the type to show up voluntarily at parties. However, since her best friend and boyfriend were there, she thought; Why not go?
Putting on her best dress, which is a simple short, sparkly black dress and smokey eyed makeup.
Y/N walked over to the house and saw lighting strobing from within. "Ah that must be it..." She's never visited the house before. But it wasn't because she didn't have time. Just that she.. sometimes felt a bit uncomfortable around the girls entering and leaving the house regularly. -- Anyway, this is for another story.
Knock, knock. Creak! You found yourself in front of Han, her boyfriend's best friend. "Oh hey Y/N. Come in, come in!" He shouted due to the deafening music in the back.
Y/N jaw dropped at the sight in front of her. "Damn. That's a shit ton of people." she whispered to herself.
As the Mandarin idiom goes, 人山人海. -- This translates to "Mountain of People, Sea of People" which is used to describe a place that is crowded.
Looking for her boyfriend and/or best friend, she scanned the entire room. Until Y/N saw something that caught her eye.
It was her boyfriend conversing with her best friend. She gently pushed people around to get to the two of them to make sure nothing strange was happening.
She tapped on Bang Chan's shoulder to get his attention. He turned back and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Hey baby! Thanks for coming." He caressed her arm. She smiled at the skinship.
His phone rang, "Hello?"
"Yo, could you come to Yongbok's bedroom real quick? HAHA WE FOUND SOMETHING HILARIOUS." Changbin called.
"Alright, bet. On my way." Bang Chan replied.
He gave Y/N another kiss on the forehead. "Baby I gotta do something. Are you okay alone?" He asked.
"Alone? What do you mean? B/N is behind me, no?-" Y/N turned back and saw nobody there. "Oh... Yeah I'm fine. Go do your thing babe."
"Okay, see you later baby. I love you." Bang Chan winked. She smiled at his flirty action but as he turned back, her smile faded.
Next, she tried to scavenge around for the toilet but couldn't find it. Han noticed that she looked a bit lost. "Heyyy Y/N, could I help you?" he asked gently. Y/N nodded her head and asked where the toilet was. Han pointed towards the toilets. "Be careful Y/N by the way. It's pretty crowded." he warned.
She thanked him, gave him a thumbs up and a smile as she made her way to the toilets.
After she did her thing in the toilets, she opened her cubicle to fine B/N fixing her makeup.
"Oh hey B/N, why'd you leave me alone? Haha." she laughed. B/N's mouth formed an 'O' shape. "Oh shit. I'm so sorry HAHAHA I had to pee. Wait I thought Bang Chan was with you?" she furrowed her brows in confusion. "Well yeah, but he had to do something so I let him go." Y/N replied. "Anyway, I'm gonna go first. I heard the DJ's playing RIhanna." B/N left.
Y/N went back to the mirror and started fixing her hair and makeup. Once she settled on her appearance, she exited the toilets.
Where's Chan? He can't take that long.. Y/N thought.
She went up to Felix's room but found no one. After that, she checked the main room where the DJ was at. Although the DJ was playing Rihanna -- B/N's favourite singer; B/N would 100% be in this room, but to no avail. She scanned around the room. But not a single one of them were there.
Y/N walked up to Changbin, who gave Bang Chan the call.
"Hey Changbin, do you know where Chan is?" Y/N asked. "Oh, well he was with me like 5 minutes ago but I don't know where he went after that. Well he did tell me he was going to look for you after that." he replied.
Y/N went back to where she, B/N and Chan met. Still, nobody to be found. She groaned in frustration. Where the hell are they? She thought.
Even after she looked everywhere in the big ass house, she couldn't find them. She whipped her phone out. Calling them was her last resort. Worry grew in her as none picked her call up.
What the fuck? She was so close to pulling her hair out.
As the stress got to her, she decided to head out to the backyard, where it wasn't as chaotic and noisy as the inside. It was rather peaceful.
"Baby no... what if someone catches us?" Y/N heard a muffled sound from a tent.
That voice was familiar.
"Baby, they're all busy fucking dancing around. I'm sure no one would catch us. Now, let me do my thing." A male voice said.
Y/N's eyes widened.
"Mmm, fuck baby..." a loud moan came from inside.
Y/N covered her mouth in disbelief to what she's hearing.
"Channie... ah~" the voice became louder.
She came to the realization of who those people were. Her hands grew into fists. Her eye twitched. Damn, the anger was really rising in her.
She dashed to the tent and pulled the zipper down to reveal B/N and Chan making out.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Y/N shrieked so loud that it captivated people's attention from the inside.
Yeah. It was a deafening shriek. People dashed out to the backyard and saw B/N on top of Chan's lap. The two of them were frozen.
The other 7 SKZ members came out to investigate what the shriek was for. "Okay what's going on here.." Minho's voice faded at the sight.
Y/N broke out into tears upon the anger. She ran out.
Bang Chan cursed under his breath and pushed B/N away. He ran after Y/N. Once he caught up to her, he grabbed her by the shoulder.
"Babe.. it's not what you think!" Chan frantically defended himself. "Don't call me babe. I know it's exactly what I think. I saw what I saw. Don't defend yourself, it's no use." Y/N shakily said. "But-" Before Chan could even explain, Y/N interrupted. "But- But- But- But what, Christopher? Okay fine. Explain to me what happened. Explain WHY my best friend of 5 fucking years was sitting on YOUR lap and making disgusting sounds. Come on. I'm waiting." Y/N raised her voice and tears came running down her cheeks, ruining her makeup.
"I-I- Ugh.. Fuck.. I-" Chan stuttered. "YOU CAN'T EVEN FUCKING EXPLAIN!" Y/N cried. "Fuck this, fuck you, I'm going home. Don't even try to talk to me or do anything." Y/N wiped her eyes.
She went home. She picked her diary up.
1:27 a.m. fifth of nov.
"i cant stand this anymore. b/n was my only friend in here. i may have lost friends but, i dont want to lose her. shes my one and only friend. i cant lose her. my parents are overseas, im alone in here. im fucking lonely. should i just end it all?"
All the polaroids and the love notes were torn. She didn't want to be reminded of him.
Oh she couldn't sleep. There was so much rage, yet guilt and sadness. She couldn't get herself to be mad at B/N. She was rather sad and felt betrayal.
"Was I not good enough for Chan? Was I not good enough?" Y/N sniffled as she contemplated.
SMACK! She slapped herself. "Get yourself together, Y/N. You can't cry over such men." she reassured herself.
The next day at school, Y/N kept her head low. She didn't want to feel the humiliation. Whispers and stares all around her. Insecurity went up. Confidence went down.
She was the first to arrive in class. She was experiencing fatigue. Up all night crying.
Han was the second to arrive. He noticed Y/N's head lying on her arms. Muffled sniffles came from her.
He tapped on her shoulder. "Y/N.. about yesterday.." Y/N shot her head up and covered his mouth. "Shh. I don't wanna be reminded." Han gently put her hand down and held on to it. "I just wanna ask if you're okay." he smiled softly. "Not really.." Y/N rubbed her puffy red eyes.
"I understand. I know it's not so easy to get over people you love." Han patted her on the back.
"Yeah.. especially if you've known them forever." she replied with a heavy sigh. "You're really sweet. Thanks for comforting me! I feel so much better." Y/N gazed upon Han as they exchanged smiles. "I'm glad you feel better, if you need someone to talk to, well here I am." Han patted her on the head.
Y/N's POV:
I think I like him.. UGH but I feel like I'm moving on too fast.. fuck.
Han's POV:
Got rid of one, now I need to get rid of B/N... then Bang Chan is all mine.
He smirked behind her back.
friday, 5:38 p.m.
Y/N saw Han. Should I try shooting my shot? She gambled with herself.
Taking a deep breath, she braced herself and went up to him. "Hey.. uhm do you wanna come over to my house..?" she timidly asked. Han was a bit caught offguard but he accepted the invitation anyway.
Y/N's heart raced. But thankfully she kept her blush light.
Nothing really interesting happened at the sleepover. So, timeskip to the next morning.
saturday, 10:30 a.m.
Chan's POV
I feel so bad. I'm on the way to her dorm to beg for forgiveness. Agh fuck.. I hope she takes me back. Okay okay, I've arrived. 3.. 2.. 1..
He knocked.
The door opened. "Babe- What the.." What is this fucker doing here?
"Oh hey Chan. What are you doing here?" Han cocked his eyebrows up as he leaned against the door frame.
"I- Uh. Nothing. Um, could I talk to you?" Chan scratched his head. Han nodded and followed Chan to his dorm.
When they arrived, Han step foot into the dorm. What he saw shocked him but yet he wasn't surprised. It was B/N sleeping in Chan's bed, naked. "Damn what did y'all do?" Chan laughed, "Isn't it obvious, Han?" Han let out an awkward laugh.
"Anyway, what did you want to talk about?" Han tilted his head with curiosity. Before Chan could even reply, B/N groaned as she woke up.
"Oh hey Han." B/N stretched as she forgot about her being naked. Han, being the respectful man he is, covered his eyes.
"Oh oops, my bad hehe." she playfully giggled.
Han turned back to Chan. "Now that I think of it, I've never gotten your number." Chan realized as well. "Oh yeah.. I have to go to the toilet real quick. Uhhh B/N will give it to you."
B/N was finally clothed. Han went up to her and asked for Chan's number.
B/N's POV
Han is kinda fine not gonna lie.. should I give him my number?
"I can't send it to you without giving you my number so like here you go." B/N said as she caressed his arm. "Okay um yeahhh... so I'm gonna go now, tell Chan that I've went home. Bye." Han smiled awkwardly. Han shuffled out the dorm and went back to his dorm. He suddenly received a text from B/N.
Ever since then, they've been talking for so long. (Behind Chan's and Y/N's backs.)
3 weeks later,
B/N looked everywhere for Han. She couldn't hold it in. She wanted to get it off her chest so badly.
Han walked past her. She tapped on his shoulder. The male turned to look at B/N. "Oh hey. Um what's up?" B/N couldn't make eye contact with him.
He noticed that she looked a bit nervous, so he decided to lift her chin up. "Are you okay?" Han looked at her with hooded eyes.
B/N's eyes widened at his sudden action. "OH! Uh! I- I- Uh- I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU!" she blurted out. Once she realized her actions, she slapped her mouth and mad a run for it.
Han laughed at her clumsiness, not knowing Y/N saw everything. She was boiling mad.
Still not aware of Y/N, Han smirked in triumph as he finally got rid of all the girls swarming around Chan.
He finally had Chan all to himself.
tuesday, 1.30 p.m.
It's their lunch break. Han looked around to assure that none of the girls were near him. Instead of seeing the girls, he found his one and only Chan. He took a deep breath and... "Yo! Chan, over here." he raised his right arm up. Chan cocked his brows up and dabbed him up. Did their signature handshake and after that, Han led him to the locker rooms.
"So." Han sighed. "So? What's up?" Chan tilted his head and grinned. Han took another deep breath and braced himself for the rejection he might get.
"I may or may not have a.. ugh." he hesitated. "It's okay, you can tell me. C'mon, I'm your bro. I won't judge." Chan patted his back.
"Promise me you won't be mad." Han looked up at him with those puppy eyes. The other male nodded his head and let him speak.
"I have a crush on this certain someone and.." Han fidgeted nervously and his eyes gazed upon the floor. Chan's jaw dropped in surprise. "Really, who?- Wait, let me guess. It's Y/N isn't it." he chuckled and he rolled his eyes sarcastically.
"Well. No-" Han cleared his throat.
Chan looked at him in confusion, trying to recall the girls he's close with.
He can't possibly crush on B/N. She's mine. Chan thought. "Okay.. um Ella? Hayley? Genevieve? Audrey-" Chan rambled on.
"DAMMIT CHAN, IT'S YOU!" Han blurted out.
When Chan heard this. He stood rooted to the ground with his mouth open, not knowing what to say nor knowing how to react.
Han realized what he had done, he averted his eyes away from Chan and tried to make a run for it. However, he felt a pull on his arm.
"HAN! Wait.. Look, I'm sorry. I don't see you that way. You're like a brother to me and nothing will change that. We can still be friends though! I mean, if you're fine with that...?" Chan scratched the back of his head.
Han couldn't get himself to look Chan in the eye but, just simply nodded his head and walked away. He may have walked away looking tough but inside he really was a heartbroken boy.
As Han exited the locker room, his heart dropped. He saw Y/N holding her phone up and it was playing an audio of him confessing. "Y/N. Were you here this entire time..?" he shakily said. "No shit." she rolled her eyes. "Don't tell anyone. Please." Han got on his knees and begged.
"Oops my finger slipped! I accidentally sent it to the class's group chat! Awww I'm sorry. Boohoo." Y/N pouted, mocking the one on his knees.
"WHAT THE FUCK Y/N?! WHAT DID I EVEN DO TO YOU?" Han cried. He stood up and snatched the phone from her. Cursing under his breath as he tried to delete it but to no avail.
"DAMN IT Y/N! I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING EX-BOYFRIEND, AND I GET THIS IN RETURN?!" Han ran away with tears running down his face.
Chan heard the shriek coming from Han's mouth and ran out to see but all he saw was Y/N cackling like an evil villain while Han ran away.
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Tennis AU asks/thoughts based on your asks from Tumblr:
1. All the talk of people hounding Carlos to withdraw from doubles & him withdrawing from singles instead & the shock factor involved with that, well I also don't think he would withdraw from singles.
2. The talk of TK voluntarily withdrawing or being forced to withdraw from doubles to ease up the load on Carlos's shoulder that I think might be something that would happen. I also think he might do that without telling Carlos & then Carlos will have SO MANY FEELINGS about that & then there's going to he a huge argument ending with one of them confessing their love for the other?
3. Re: Them being outed, I think as I mentioned in my comment in ch 6, I think somehow Zane Albright is going to be involved. I think that because of his thinly-veiled comments on TK's addiction (something not many people actually know about). And based on that elevator scene, although it's slightly different from RWRB because *no cameras* I couldn't help but draw that parallel about them being outed and there being a whole shit storm about it.
4. Regarding the US Open Singles final, I also have the feeling that it's going to be a Tarlos match? And then I thought that it would be intense to the level of John Isner vs Nicholas Mahut at Wimbledon 2010?
5. Also is is weird that I wanna see more of Zane Albright in the sense that he plays singles against either TK or Carlos & he looses pretty badly?
6. I'm really excited for the Wimbledon chapter as it happens to be my favorite GS because Roger's success there! And also I remember you or RMD mentioning something about Tarlos & Wimbledon whites! 😏😏🔥🔥🔥
7. And Maureen & JP! Need I say more? The tweets have been hilarious! But I think poor JP is going to he scarred for life after reading Maureen's tweets! 🤣😂
8. Based on your previous statements & all your mentions of places in Melbourne to dine at in the earlier chapters, I assumed you were an Aussie from Melbourne so I set up Melbourne among the cities on the world clock on my phone so I could see what time it is so I could keep up when you posted in the evenings!
9. Reading this fic as the US Open began was pretty exciting! I was looking forward to the US Open a lot this year because it's Serena's last! I'm going to miss her! She's my favorite WTA player!
Sorry if this is a bit too long, I couldn't stop writing this once I started! And I realised this is like the longest ask I've ever sent! I'm loving this fic so much!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾
slowly making it through the tennis au asks!
OKAY BUT THIS ONE - there's a couple of things in here that are bang on the money but I'm not gonna say what they are 👀💀 I just love how in depth you've gone here!!!!
YES I'm from Melbourne so you guys can set your clocks to to the hellish time zone of AEST to find out when I am awake (I sleep like 5 hours a night, so that's basically always).
Thank you for being so invested! Also Serena is the GOAT and you are right to say it.
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https://www.tumblr.com/empress-of-snark/718073365201633280/weird-ask-i-know-but-this-thought-would-not-leave?source=share ooh i wanna hear more of this lol. i can imagine chrissy, nancy, and jonathan going for the first time and just being utterly confused
(for context, the link is to a previous ask about Eddie and Robin being fans of Rocky Horror Picture Show)
Lmao maybe they start with a movie night and rent the VHS to kinda ease them into it. I feel like going to one of the live shows without having any context beforehand would be a little overwhelming. Then again, it is Eddie and Robin, so maybe they’d enjoy throwing everyone into the deep end 😂
Nancy just… 100% does not get it. She’s confused the entire time and can’t figure out what the hell is going on at any given moment. Overall, not a fan and probably wouldn’t voluntarily go to a show.
Chrissy is also lost, but she doesn’t really mind because the music is catchy and the costumes are fun. She might go to a screening once in a while cause she likes an excuse to dress up.
Weirdly, I think Jonathan would actually really like it. Once he gets past the absurdity and just accepts that the plot is nonsensical, he thinks it’s hilarious and has a great time. 10/10, would do the Time Warp again.
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men hate me now. for some time i was popular among them. especially among older men. i personally attached myself to them, i offered myself. and while none of them really liked me, they pretended to do so because they were convinced that i would let them stick their dick inside me. i wanted to, i really did, that's why i let them believe that. but my ptsd turned out to be a bigger problem for me than i originally thought. most of my acute trauma happened while i was on downers. heroin,pills,etc.... so nothing really felt real. no pain, not even time to think about it, process it, because my mind was occupied with finding ways to get my next fix. then i went to rehab. i thought at first it would do me good. three months drug free. some time to get to know myself again, reconsider my path, get a new chance to make everthing right. i didn't thought the detox would be too bad. but it turned out to be horrible. i guess i always made sure to never even stop being high for too long... so i quit heroin. i got methadone, but it was of little help. i was underage so they gave me the lowest dose needed. i was miserable. i was cold all the time, had trouble sleeping, my whole body ached, my nose was constantly running, i was nauseas all the time, through up a lot, couldn't really eat..... it didn't help that i was fairly underweight. while i wasn't technically homeless before that. i was 'living' in a homeless shelter for underage fosterkids. they provide you with three meals a day: breakfast conisting of bread between 7am and 9m, lunch, usually something with meat and carbs between 12pm and 1pm, and dinner, consisting of bread again, between 7pm and 8pm. i usually skipped breakfast, because i was never awake on time (i didn't go to school), then i'd get ready to take the train to the next town over to get money and then my fix, so i missed lunch as well, and if i got back that same day, it was usually late at night so i'd miss dinner as well. the social workers didn't really care. i was a typical teenage degenerate, drug addict, problem child to them. they were mad at me because they had to call the cops on me a lot, mostly because i was missing, another time because i got so mad at a caretaker that i smashed the windows of some car. i had to go the hospital a lot too, i overdosed a lot. i always mixed several drugs, with no care. some combinations include: ketamine+heroin, molly+benzos+speed+cocaine+weed, crack+acid+weed+benzos and my favourite: heroin+ benzos (rivos=clonazolam)+methadicct+crack. iave no idea how i'm still alive to be honest. my mom, voluntarily, gave up custody during that time, because she couldn't stand getting a call almost every night, because i was still not back or because i'm in the hospital. she told me recently, that still, a year later, she thinks i'm in danger every time she sees an ambulance. i guess i should be lucky that healthcare is free in germany because all these trips to the emergency room. i always thought it was hilarious whenever i ended up in the hospital. i always got put into the kids emergeny room because i was underage and idk... that was funny to me. the nurses would usually treat me like shit. i guess they felt that it was my fault. the emergency room was full of sick children, innocent little humans that didn't do anything to deserve their illness, while i was a dumb teenager who did drugs for fun and didn't know her limit. one time i overdosed on tramadol. it's a fairly mild opioid. well, i was used to much stronger shit at the time. heroin to be exact. and if we look at the potency....tramadol is about 10% of morphine. so obviously i took A LOT. it was liquid tramadol. he stole it from somewhere and, knowing that i was into downers, gifted it to me. another guy i knew, the one i started doing downers with, told me to take the equivalent to 250mg. i always looked up to him and went to him for drug advice because he was a lot more experienced than me (which he took advantage of a lot, but thats another story)
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It's honestly hilarious how often Elias in 160 goes "and then I got lucky!" when it was, in fact, the Web.
I’ll admit, my options were somewhat limited, but My God, when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you. I even held out some small hope you had been sent by the Spider as some sort of implicit blessing on the whole project, and, do you know what, I think it was.
Yeah, you weren’t wrong about that one.
Of course, I had to bide my time, get a measure of you before I began to push, learn how you worked – So I decided I would wait until something came for you, and see how you reacted. Attacks upon the Archives were not uncommon during Gertrude’s tenure, and, while she was always prepared, I made sure you would not be.
I reasoned if you couldn’t survive a single encounter, you were unlikely to make it through all fourteen. So, when Jane Prentiss attacked
The Web orchestrated literally everything about Jane Prentiss’s attack on the archives. In 032 Jane speculates that spiders led her to break into the attic where she found her wasp nest. A ghost spider drove Carlos Vittery to move into the apartment block above the basement where Jane was hiding; Carlos’s name also appeared in 123′s Chelicerae website code. Martin went back and broke into that basement in 022 because he remembered seeing “quite a lot of spider webs”. John sees a spider in 038 and squashes it, breaking a hole in the wall and setting off Jane’s attack before she had fully built up her forces. Spiders eat the worm corpses in the tunnels afterwards.
Meanwhile Jonah thinks periodic monster attacks are a natural inevitability. We learn in 167 that the Web fed Gertrude “a steady string of plans to foil”.
The discovery that one of the Stranger’s minions had infiltrated the Institute in the aftermath was certainly a pleasant bonus.
This pleasant bonus was the result of the web table being delivered to the Institute alongside the web lighter.
Jurgen Leitner was a surprise, of course, and I was forced to improvise. I had no idea how much Gertrude would have told him, and he could very easily have derailed everything if you learned too much too fast.
Given that John left Jurgen to smoke a cigarette with, uh, what lighter..? I conclude that the Web thought this too, slightly earlier.
And it did serve another purpose, of course. It inadvertently pushed you to confront death, a mark I had been very worried about trying to orchestrate. If I tried too early, you’d just die. Too late, and you might be powerful enough to see the attempt coming, and maybe even understand why.
As it was, it was just right
I only noticed this recently, so I’m going to quote 117 at length here. They have entered the wax museum and notice:
DAISY Come on.
ARCHIVIST Right. [He makes a sound of extreme disgust – it almost sounds like he’s straining with something.]
DAISY Shut. Up. It’s just cobwebs.
ARCHIVIST There’s no such thing as just cobwebs.
yeah the timing being just right wasn’t a coincidence.
I was a little put out when that idiot Jared Hopworth misinterpreted my letters and attacked the Institute too soon, before you were even out of the hospital, but then – Ho, you should have see my face when you voluntarily went to him.
John went to Jared Hopworth because while considering anchors for the Coffin he listened to a tape that he found "in a corner of my desk drawer, covered in cobwebs” that described “the siren call of flesh”. Elias screwed up the timing; the Web fixed it.
Honestly, Detective Tonner has been proving invaluable through this process. I’d been racking my brains for months about what I could use to lure you in.
Daisy Tonner was forced into the Coffin during the Unknowing, in that waxwork museum festooned with cobwebs. Jonah didn’t have a plan for it.
I have two conclusions. One is that Elias is metaphorically bragging about how he became super rich with only talent, effort, and a small loan of a million dollars from his rich father.
The other is that the Web didn’t just benefit from the world ending. The Web made the world end.
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was scrolling through tgcf comments and i found one under a two-star review where op was disappointed because xie lian's whole "thing" was supposedly about "fighting fate to save/help people" but all throughout the story, he rarely does so on his own volition as he always needs a nudge by ling wen or other heavenly official via a heavenly mission
it got me thinking, and this topic is simply way too meta for me but while i see op's point (as they did a comparison with wei wuxian's character in mdzs [i haven't read svsss yet so im not sure abt the other chara op pointed out there pls spare me]) i think that wasn't the case. at least not fully
i like to believe xie lian's "thing" or icon used to stand for that- for changing fate to save the people- but overtime it evolved because he matured and he grew
now we all know the happenings of books 2 and 4, so i won't elaborate. I'll only point out that those days were one of xie lian's biggest regrets mainly because he thought himself young and naive and prideful, having never faced the dilemma of choosing the greater good all his mortal life, so when the fall of xianle happened his views and morals took an abrupt shift
we can see remnants of his embarrassment when ban yue mentions how he used to be back when he played general hua. and when he tells hua cheng of the time he told a child to use him as a meaning of life
the difference in his views (from how proud he'd felt in those moments to embarrassment as he remembered them) shows that he grew out of that "save all, nothing can stand in my way" mind set
now onto op's next point, which was about how xie lian says he wants to help others but doesn't voluntarily do so
i think this stems into two things: first, he does help people but only those he can and only those within his power. like how he and hua cheng help the farmers in their village, because he knows his power is limited now and apart from his godly strength he was not that far from humans in the power spectrum. going back to the fall of xianle, i believe he's doing this because he's learned how to only bite what he can chew, so he chews
second would be his mission to expand his name and gain more followers. it might've sounded hilarious, then later on selfish or absurd to hear about xie lian's plan to make his own shrine. this i think, can also loop back to fall of xianle, to the time he had a tremendous following. i think he's trying to regain what he'd lost, because he used to regard followers as . well, not necessary? since he knew himself powerful and he only thought of helping and listening without first thinking of the consequences. an influx in followers can also give him more power, which he can then use in better moderation to help more
overall i'm saying op had a point, and i can respect that. personally i didn't see xie lian's story like that, but really it's to anyone's guess what went in with mxtx's head while she wrote this
I'd love to hear more thoughts, pspspspsps send em over
#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#hob#heaven official's blessing#xie lian#text#meta#text post#opinions#mxtx#mo xiang tong xiu#send tweet
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PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 2
Rating: Explicit. 18+
‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it’s own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.
Summary: You’re Peter’s classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don’t know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you’re lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!
A/N: Bad girls are sad girls! Always wondered what goes through the mind of a spoiled, rich but intelligent and perceptive teenager? Have you found yourself craving that adrenaline rush, the danger of a forbidden fruit? Okay. That was cheesy as hell. Gross.
Let’s try again. Sarcasm? Check. Vine references? Hell yes! Crude humour? Check. Blunt honesty? Double check. We’re living in a Lana del Rey song, ladies.
The author doesn’t actually condone codependent relationships in real life. This is a filthy little fantasy. Enjoy, deviants.
THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @vozit @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings
Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! She deserves all the love 💙
Peter woke me up at eight AM the next morning like the little shit that he was, demanding I make him pancakes. It wasn’t the first time I’ve had the joy to experience him in the morning and he knew exactly how to antagonise me enough to make him the special pancakes he liked so much. They had become kind of a ritual whenever he stayed over at my house, which was quite often - teachers liked me enough to pair me up with one of the most sensible kids for any projects that couldn’t be done alone by yours truly on her own.
I put on my yesterday’s dress, applied moisturizer and obediently trotted behind an excitedly mumbling Peter. The kitchen was large, beautiful and delightfully empty of any resident superheroes. I’ve indirectly crossed paths with all of the tower’s residents hanging around Tony, but I’ve yet had to speak more than polite niceties to any of them.
Spying a bowl of boiled eggs and some sort of weird salad alongside half burned toast on the counter, I suddenly understood why Peter demanded his pancakes. I strictly instructed the disaster child to stay away from my cooking process and set to work with one ear listening to his ramblings and a headphone in the other.
A set of thumping footsteps appeared behind me as I was pouring the batter for the first pancake. Their owner loudly sat down next to Peter, sighing, groaning, generally making “I’m not a morning person” sounds.
“Good morning, Mr. Barnes,” Peter’s tone was way, way too chipper.
“‘mrng,” The Sergeant grumbled. “Who’s this and why is she making pancakes?”
I turned around, spatula at the ready. “It’s me,” We’ve actually met before, but Barnes had left before I could even come over from my side of the work bench to say hello.
He nodded in acknowledgement after giving me a suspicious once-over. “One of Stark’s science children. I’m James but you can call me Bucky,” His voice sounded rough and gravely, and he clutched a coffee cup half the size of my head.
I snorted. “Science child, sure,” It wasn’t half-bad actually. I wisely choose to ignore the part of being Tony’s. No matter how hot the man was, I wasn’t anybody’s but my own, thank you very much. “Go get the bananas, Nutella and maple syrup, fellow science child.”
Peter scrambled to follow instructions as I plated the pancakes and cut the bananas into neat little rings to fill the sweet circles with. A tablespoon of Nutella, half a sliced banana, wrap, garnish with powdered sugar and pour maple syrup generously on top. I really didn’t see how this could be difficult but any and all attempts to teach Peter how to recreate my masterpiece always ended up in an absolute mess. I turned around to ask Bucky if he wanted any. The look of a man starved answered all my questions.
“You’re a goddess,” Peter moaned around his mouthful, nose smudged white with the powdered sugar.
“Gross, chew first then talk, you neanderthal,” I scoffed, prepping more batter for the second batch of pancakes. I wasn’t sure if everybody would show up but figured it would be rude to exclude them from the sheer magnificence that were my pancakes. I was just that good.
The music in my ear drowned most of Peter’s disgusting chewing noises, thankfully. My second batch vanished into thin air, inhaled by the two males like the garbage disposals that they were. Peter, in particular, ate an alarming quantity of food and I was surprised how he managed to stay so skinny. His daily eating schedule resembled the Hobbits.
More people appeared, this time acting less surprised regarding me standing at the stove. Hawkeye, Black Widow, Scarlet Witch and her brother, all of them wandered in wearing sleep attire with various amusing prints. Thankfully, they mostly kept quiet or chatted with Peter - I would have definitely grumbled if someone tried to talk to me. As far as my body was concerned it was still the middle of the night.
“PANCAKES,” A booming voice announced and I shuddered at the sheer intensity and devotion contained in that one word. Thor.
“Please use your indoor voice,” I snapped reflectively. My brain caught up with what I just did so I hastily backtracked. “Sorry, I’m a bitch in the mornings.”
The blonde man chuckled, coming over to poke his nose into my flurry of pour-flip-fill sequence. Then, with all the grace and manners of a prince, he dipped one (1) large finger into the jar of Nutella and wandered off with it stuck in his mouth. With this turn of events the Nutella was bound to run out sooner than expected.
I turned around, annoyed confusion in plain sight. “The fuck?.. That’s gross, don’t do that,” Finding his brother (adopted!) sitting next to Thor, wearing a haughty smirk, finger still in his mouth. So Loki turned into his brother to steal Nutella from a jar. I sighed. Nobody even batted an eye. “Your alien germs are in there now, double ew.”
“Alien germs? Where?” Bruce entered the kitchen with a tablet under his arm, wearing Hulk themed pajamas, Captain America in tow. I was honestly on the verge of breaking down into hysterical laughter. Domestic Avengers wasn’t something I’d expected to see or experience, ever, much less be a part of. It took a moment for me to remind myself that they were people, too, and each of them was entitled to their own quirks.
“America, egg-splain,” Peter muttered under his breath, giggling. “Loki stuck his hand in the Nutella jar,” He pointed at said jar. “She got grumpy,” Peter pointed at me. “Don’t make her grumpy, please, I want more pancakes,” And turned his pleading puppy eyes in my direction again.
“This is indentured servitude,” I pointed my spatula at the little shit. “You just had, like, ten.” But I made more batter nonetheless. I must admit it was kind of cool, seeing the earth’s mightiest defenders so relaxed. And Pete being happy, that was just… The best. I don’t know how to explain it. His eternal cheerfulness was highly contagious.
Chuckles filled up the room, the adults chatting and bickering amongst themselves while they patiently waited for their own breakfast.
“Do you need some help?” Bruce approached me after stopping to fetch himself a cup of tea. It smelled strongly of tangy herbs and honey.
“I need more Nutella and bananas,” I admitted, surveying the sheer amount of people I had to feed. I didn’t doubt the Captain and two Asgardians had an appetite to match Peter’s which meant a literal extra set of condiments was required. Thankfully, Bruce fetched them for me, coming to a stop next to me. “Anything else?”
“You know, I tried making these with Peter and he just ended up with powdered sugar and chocolate all over himself,” I mused, noting the way Banner was carefully observing the assembly of a pancake. “You think Doctor seven-phds can manage to add a few toppings to a pancake without causing a disaster?“
Bruce rolled his eyes fondly, bumping me with his hip. "I’m no Clint Barton when it comes to cooking but at least I don’t burn my toast like Steve,” True to his word, his hands made swift motions of filling, wrapping and plating each individual pancake. They were almost as good as mine albeit more messy. I had lots of practice though. We finished off a batch in companionable silence, sounds of the team and my music playing in the background.
I didn’t notice when I started swaying to the rhythm, catching a confused look from Bruce. I brushed back my hair, revealing a wireless headphone in my ear and he chuckled in understanding. “What are you listening to?”
“Right now? Kings of Leon,” I said, leaning towards him so he could hear the chorus “Use Somebody” currently occupying my right ear.
“I like them, too,” He said, his cheek gently touching mine. His hands slowed on the pancake, a soft hum vaguely reminding me of the song’s melody emanating from his throat. “What else do you usually listen to?”
“Mostly heavier stuff, but I have a whole separate playlist dedicated to mid-2000s bops,” I answered. “I’ve heard I’m quite old school when it comes to music.”
“Well, I am an old man, so…” Bruce grinned mischievously. “But my guilty pleasure is Lady Gaga,” He admitted with a laugh.
I laughed, too. The image of his dancing in his lab to Born This Way was too much for my brain and I hung my head, fighting giggles. Bruce bumped me with his hip again, faking a pout. “Okay, okay, that was a fucking hilarious image, you go dude,” I finally powered through my struggle to contain laughter. “My own guilty pleasure would be… Umm… Lana Del Rey, I guess.”
Bruce made a vague noise of confusion. I took a brief break from mixing the batter to dig out my second headphone, presenting it to him and switching to a song. “This is what makes us girls”. Despite the fact I have never stolen a car or had a close female friend, the nostalgia was real. “Carmen” followed after the first song and I silently thanked whatever deity that “You can be the boss” was taken out of Spotify - I don’t think I was prepared to share that kind of information with a lab partner. An older, handsome lab partner. Wait… Where did that come from?
“I like it,” He said after the song ended and my more usual stuff began playing. “It suits you, I think.”
I groaned. “Really? I think it’s edgy,” Hiding away the embarrassment, I passed him a tray of freshly baked pancakes, occupying his immediate attention.
“You’re an old soul,” He gave me a lopsided smile. I saw a very faint blush tinting his cheeks, the kind of blush that had me wondering about the meaning behind his words.
I gave an attempt at a smile in response, the left corner of my mouth barely tilting up. We talked some more about the rock music we shared in our earphones. I had a lot of 80s hair metal and 90s grunge in my playlist. Bruce was not a Curt Cobain man but enjoyed the works of his legacy, Marcy Playground.
A tan hand wormed its way between me and Bruce, snatching a handful of banana slices and disappeared just as swiftly. “Tonyyy,” Bruce groaned, picking up another banana to replace the stolen pieces.
The spatula in my hand became a weapon as I blindly aimed at the target behind my back. A loud “ow” indicated I hit it. When I turned around, Tony was clutching the side of his face, a hurt look in his eyes and cheeks stuffed full of stolen goods. I stared him square in the face, absolutely refusing to acknowledge the fact that he was shirtless - the arc reactor glowed brightly in the middle of his toned chest. Fuck.
His chest was honestly what I was aiming for. I constantly kept forgetting how short he actually was. There was this one time when Tony had to put his arms around me to steady a piece of tech - he felt huge, hard and enormous around me.
“What’s that for, Princess?” He finally chewed through his food and found his voice.
“For being a Tony,” I retorted. “Stay away from my workspace and wait for your breakfast like everybody else.”
“Hey! This is my kitchen,” He whined immediately, like the adult man that he was. I nearly cried from how adorable his face became, eyebrows scrunched up. “I don’t want to wait! And why does he,” Tony’s finger accusingly pointed at Bruce, “Get the bananas?!”
“Because he’s Brucie-bear,” I stuck my nose up in the air when Bruce’s arm wrapped around my waist. “He’s my science father,” I stuck my tongue out at Tony, seeing Bruce’s triumphant smile. Banner used every opportunity to get back at Tony’s incessant sass.
The gleaming in Tony’s eyes should have alarmed me. “But he’s not your science daddy,” Tony’s flirting was accompanied by a salacious eyebrow wiggle and Peter’s screech of “OH MY GOD!"
It took me every ounce of willpower to not flush. It was one of those rare times that I was at a complete loss of words. Thinking on the spot, I gave a very meaningful look to Bruce - thankfully, he got the gist and returned an equally filthy smirk back. Tony gaped.
"Is this how they are in the lab?” The Captain’s quiet voice leaked horrified amusement.
“All.The.Time.” Peter’s resonating groan was followed by Romanoff’s laughter.
We went up to the lab after breakfast. Thankfully Tony stopped his dramatic bitching when I served him my pancakes, scarfing them down much like everybody else. So me and Pete were accompanied by one (1) happy engineer, all three of us tinkering away on a robot that we were supposed to present in our science class in a month. The focus that was required to solder was immense and our usual banter was missing, replaced by an occasional request for a specific tool or a water bottle.
It took a few hours to get the dirty job done even with Tony’s help (technically he wasn’t supposed to but neither me nor Pete had the heart to forbid him from it when the man looked so content and happy soldering away). By the time I uncurled from my spot on the bench, my back was in knots and my dress had oil stains and holes all over it. I immediately went to the nearest water bottle, finishing half of it in seconds, picking up my phone to see if I had any important messages from my mother.
None.
Just a message from Bruce.
I tapped on my phone, idly scrolling through the Instagram app, liking some pictures of people I barely knew and keeping up a general appearance of being very busy. When the ringtone started playing, it took me a whole five seconds to understand it was, in fact, coming from my phone - I certainly wouldn’t put something so… Outrageous as my main tone.
Banner had discovered the power of the internet. You Can Be The Boss played loudly, and it played from my phone and Bruce was calling me. I picked it up, turning around, fighting the incoming laughter. “Yes, Brucie?"
To say that Tony’s and Peter’s faces were scandalised was nothing. The boy’s face was such a deep shade of red, I started worrying about his blood pressure and Tony’s mouth hung open limply, like he was witnessing the second coming of Christ.
"Is Tony sufficiently traumatized?” Judging by the breathless tone of his voice, Banner was resisting a mighty laughing fit of his own.
“Oh, absolutely,” I happily chirped.
“Good, keep it up. Come to my lab before you leave,” Banner snorted and then, realising what he’d done, promptly hung up, the tell-tale beginning of a giggle fit abruptly interrupted by a dial tone.
I put the phone in my bag, gathering the rest of my things with a look somewhere between innocence and indifference. At least, I hoped it was - my mind kept jumping between the engineer’s ridiculously scandalised face and the way his mouth went slack, lips moist and soft and plush. That’s a very dangerous trail.
A very dangerous trail I couldn’t resist exploring in the solitude and privacy of my own bedroom, at home.
#bun writes#party favours#tony stark x reader#tony stark x y/n#bruce banner x reader#bruce banner x y/n#stephen strange x reader#Stephen Strange x y/n
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Ugly Man Chronicles Reignition Book 2 Chapter 2: My Breakfast With Evan
Just a couple dudes getting to know each other.
“If you must know,” Evan sighed, spearing a glistening sausage on the end of a flimsy plastic fork, “my jackass older sister thought it would be hilarious to give me a cupcake she'd baked with about a dozen powdered viagra for my fifteenth birthday. I wound up passing out eventually. Burst a lot of blood vessels. Damaged the erectile tissue beyond usefulness.”
Titus froze mid-coffee-sip. “Seriously? What a bitch!”
“Buddy, you don't know the half of it.”
“So... no signs of life down there?”
“Nothing for twelve years.”
“I think I would literally kill myself.”
“It's not so bad, I guess. At least I don't have to drain the blood out of it any more.”
“Eugh! Fuck! Did not need to hear that!”
“Well, maybe you shouldn't ask questions you don't want the answer to.”
“Do you get, like, blue balls all the time, then?”
“That's basically my ground state of being.”
Titus whistled flatly, avoiding looking Evan in the eye. He settled for staring at the table. There wasn't a lot of Evan's face that he felt comfortable looking at; every part seemed to at least be adjacent to some unpleasantry or another. About the only safe area was his right eye, which, as luck would have it, was directly opposite Titus's 'good' eye. Titus rallied and met Evan's gaze again. “Alright, your turn.”
They'd agreed on a sort of mutual interview process, taking turns asking questions to suss out what the other was capable or if he was worth having around. Evan took a bite out of the sausage and chewed thoughtfully for a moment.
“Who's Moreno?”
Titus hissed through his teeth. “A real piece of shit.”
“I'm going to need more than that.”
“I'm getting to it. He's basically, like... a freelance henchman? Like, sort of a mercenary criminal. Sells his services to the highest bidder.”
“And why's he matter?”
“That's another question.”
“No, it is not,” Evan said, quiet and serious. “Do not argue with me in bad faith, Titus. I have very little patience for it in the best of times.”
Titus regarded him for a long moment. The man across from him was wider than the table they sat at. His muscles were so pronounced in some points that Titus could tell when he was about to move by the way they bulged and contracted. Yet he gave the impression that he was constantly trying to pull himself inward, to make himself smaller. He spoke quietly and with a simple formality, but only hours before Titus had watched him single-handedly beat down some of the nastiest people he'd met in the past month.
Hmm.
“Fine. Moreno matters because I'm after the guy he's working for. You see, Moreno isn't just a normal scumbag. He works for people who need nasty things done. Not like regular nasty, either. How much do you actually know about magic?”
“I've got some... notes. So far I'm not able to find a lot of coherent rules. It mostly seems like it relies on things that nobody would normally do.”
Titus snapped his fingers and pointed at Evan. “Hit it right on the head. Rituals, reagents, that kind of thing... the reason—well, one of the reasons—magic doesn't just happen all the time by accident is that it's all weird little things. A lot of the more heavy magic relies on some pretty elaborate and obtuse shit to get it going.”
Evan momentarily thought back to the Book of Fate and his ritual in the woods. “So Moreno does these things for people?”
“Yeah. Thing is, though...” Titus stopped raising a forkful of eggs halfway to his mouth and set it down again, as if he'd momentarily lost his appetite. “The people who use his services generally practice some pretty vile magic. Real depraved shit. And to empower depraved magic, you need depraved rituals. Moreno is the guy you go to when...”
“I think I get it,” Evan interjected, since Titus seemed to be struggling with deciding whether to continue. “Your turn.”
Titus tapped his fingers on the table for a moment, then looked Evan in the eye. “How smart are you?”
The scars on Evan's face squirmed around as he actually smirked. “What kind of question is that?”
“Hey, we agreed no 'whys'.”
“Alright, alright. Well, there's really no objective metric for it, but... I have Master's degrees in computer science and theoretical physics, Bachelor's in those in addition to mathematics and electrical engineering, and associate's degrees and certificates in everything from EMT training to ballet. I should have my doctorate in physics, but...” he said, with a bitterness that Titus made a note of, then changed gears. “Oh, and I also speak Mandarin, Spanish, Japanese, French, and Arabic pretty fluently. I also know ASL. I can get by in German and Russian, too. I don't know if any of that is what you meant but--”
“Jesus, I get it,” Titus muttered, rubbing the side of his head. “How the fuck do you make money?”
“Software consulting, mostly. I specialize in security and processing efficiency. People pay me to break into their systems and then patch the holes, or to make their code run quicker or make their programs smaller. I've got a few patents I've licensed that bring in most of my income nowadays, though.”
“Anything I would have heard of?”
“If you've used a computer made in the last four years it probably has something I wrote integrated somewhere into it. I also helped develop a protein-sequencing program that helped develop a vaccine for this nasty SARS variant that broke out in China last year. They say if they hadn’t nipped it in the bud it could’ve spread worldwide and we’d be looking at millions of deaths by now.”
Titus scrunched up his face. “Oh yeah, just say that like it’s no big deal.”
“I’m just glad it turned out not to be one. What I'd really like to do is get my compression algorithm out there, but if I do that, somebody's going to try to hoard it all for themselves.”
“Are you talking to yourself or me?”
“Look, I... a few years ago I figured out a way to compress memory down by a exponential factor of six with zero loss. All it takes is a couple software plugins that don't take up much room themselves. Essentially, I could make a gigabyte fit in a kilobyte with very little trouble, now that the math's figured out.”
“Holy fuck, that's insane! Why haven't I heard anything about this?”
“Mainly because I don't tell people. If I put it up on the market, some ISP would buy it and bury it. If you make information smaller, you make it faster. Can you imagine what it'd do to internet access if dial-up and barebones cellular networks suddenly had the bandwidth of fiber optics? It would... maybe not revolutionize our society, but it would level a lot of playing fields. Bring a lot of underdeveloped areas of the world—hell, this country—up to modern levels with no extra cost. The telecomms would crash and burn so hard. But I don't have the means to get it out there without going through someone else. Yet,” Evan added. “So I basically work watered-down versions of the compressor into the software I make. Nothing that can be duplicated, and nowhere near its full potential, but enough to get me hailed as some kind of genius and pay the bills.”
“So why aren't you on your own private island or something somewhere instead of puttering around God's Ashtray in a shitty old Bug?”
“Hey, the Beetle is not shitty,” Evan said, defensively. “And I'm just waiting for the AC in my RV to get fixed or I'd be driving that.”
“Oh hot damn! Now that's the way to live!”
“Not the one I'd choose voluntarily, but it could be worse.”
“How come you're doing it, then?”
“I think it's my turn to ask,” Evan said, mildly.
“Fine,” Titus said grumpily, crossing his arms.
“How do you make money?”
“That's easy. I'm basically a freelance bailbondsman. I just roam around, drop my advertising around bars and courthouses.”
“You get many clients that way?” Evan asked, cocking his remaining eyebrow.
“Oh, you'd be amazed how desperate people can get,” Titus said, shrugging. “Of course, they're usually not the most responsible people, so when they bounce, I track 'em down myself, drag ‘em back to jail, get the money back. My eye usually makes it super easy. Sometimes they don't even see me before I get the cuffs on 'em.”
“Why did you feel the need to rob a bunch of drug dealers, then? The thrill of it?”
“I had a pressing need for a large amount of cash that my normal work doesn't bring in. That got me enough to hold it off for a while. My turn.”
Evan waved down a waitress for a refill of his coffee, trying not to take it personally when she gasped upon seeing his face. “Go ahead…”
“No, no, hang on.” Titus waved a hand dismissively. “I want to try something. Take your hair out of the ponytail.”
“What? Why?”
“Humor me.”
Evan groaned and reached back, removing his hair tie. After shaking his head, his hair fell over his face, obscuring everything but his nose and mouth. Titus pursed his lips and regarded him seriously for a moment.
“Can you see?”
“Yeah, I guess. Well enough to not walk into things, I think, and I could probably read if I had to.”
Titus snapped his fingers. “Good. Go with that from now on.”
“Why?”
“Because now you don’t look like God’s mistake. Now you look like a big, dumb-but-lovable goon. Like Jack Black would voice you in a cartoon.”
“And that’s a good thing?”
“Do you like seeing people contemplating their own mortality and the general cruel absurdity of the tragic farce that is human existence when they get a glimpse of your face?”
Evan felt his cheeks burn and was actually grateful his hair was covering most of his face. “…not particularly, no.”
“Then there you go. You’re welcome. Okay, question time. Uh… how did you get your powers?”
“Which one?”
“Oh, now who’s arguing in bad faith? Fucking all of them, you thick-lipped gargoyle.”
Evan had the feeling he hit a sore spot. Titus's easy-going, jocular tone had bled away from him, leaving behind the hard-edged razor-blade of a man that had ambushed him the night before. He decided not to belabor the point.
“I don't know why I can rege—why I heal so quickly. No, I'm serious, as far as I know, it just started happening sometime in the past few months. I can't remember. Don't look at me like that, I'll get to that in a minute. When I was younger I recovered from a lot of injuries a lot quicker than the doctors thought I would, so maybe it's something I was born with and it just got stronger recently for some reason.”
Evan took a sip of coffee, mainly to buy a few seconds to think of how much to explain for the next part.
“The ability to shut off powers... that's part of, well, I guess you'd call it a magic ritual, because I don't know what else to call it. I found a weird old book that said it contained the key to making someone an instrument of universal justice, or something of the sort. Since then I can see... I guess they're souls? Maybe? I can sort of move mine and when I run it into someone else's it seems like I can shut off their powers. Or... take them entirely, if they're dying.”
“Horseshit!” Titus scoffed. “That's... that's like meta-magic. I don't even know if that's real.”
“No, seriously! I don't think it's just magic powers, I think it... 'normalizes' things.” He briefly recounted his encounter with the pain monster.
“Are you kidding me? That...” Titus took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair, exhaling slowly and loudly. “Look, I don't know much, but the fact that you even ran into something like that, let alone survived... those odds are astronomical. And you say you negated not just its powers, but its whole form?”
“Yeah. Once I... reached into it, like I did with you—oh don't make that face. Grow up—I kind of disrupted what made it... different, I guess? Like I cut it off from its special qualities. Like it was...”
“Disjuncted,” Titus cut in.
“Yeah, that's a good word for it. Like the old Mordenkainen spell?”
“Fucking nerd.”
“Eat my ass. Anyway, after I killed it, I was able to reach into its... soul? Animating force? Aura? I don't know what to call it. I was able to grab something and pull it out and it just got pulled into me.”
“Not aura.”
“What?”
“Aura's a different thing,” Titus said, dismissively. “So what did you get from doing that?”
“I.. I feel pain differently. I don't flinch or get adrenaline rushes from injuries that don't actually impede my ability to function. I think I have a better sense of what is actually dangerous to my body now. It still hurts, but I don't react to pain like people normally do. It's like...hmm.” Evan drummed his fingers on the table. “Do you know anything about video games? Fighting games, specifically?”
“I used to fuck around on an old Alpha 3rd Strike cabinet when I was a kid. Why?”
“Do you know what 'super armor' is?”
“Isn't that where a move can't get stopped by being hit when you're doing it?”
“Right. I'm kind of like that now. Pain doesn't interrupt me.”
“Fucking nerd.”
Evan's fist involuntarily clenched. “I'm trying to put this in terms you can understand, you stupid reprobate. My experience with your judgment thus far hasn't given me much faith in your intellect.”
Titus burst out laughing. “So he does know how to banter! I thought you might be one of those Rainman types.”
“Oh sure, call it 'banter' to try to excuse the fact that you've been insulting me for the past half hour. Do you say you're ‘just joking’ when people get mad at you for saying stupid shit, too?”
“C'mon, lighten up! We're partners now! Tell me more about this soul thing. I still think you're full of shit.”
Evan sighed through his nose, then held up his left hand, forming his fingers into a circle and peering through them.
“Yours is... a sort of cross between a sea green and an oil slick. The tendrils of it keep reaching out and snapping back, going all over the place. It seems to keep expanding and contracting. It's almost flickering, like... it's indecisive. Very chaotic. The tendrils that aren't snapping around seem to be kept pretty close to your body, wrapping around you like... I can't tell if it's protective or restrictive.”
Titus's expression slowly became serious. “What does that mean?”
“I don't know. I have a lot of theories, but nothing solid to go on. I'm not sure if it's allegorical or a literal representation of a person's... power, maybe? Yours definitely looks a lot different than most people's.”
“I don't believe this for a second. Let me see.”
“How would I do tha—hey!”
Titus grabbed Evan's wrist and held his hand up to his eye. “Ho-lee...”
He pulled back from Evan's hand, staring at him. Then he looked around the room, mouth slack as he took in the diner's other occupants.
“Huh. Did you know it keeps working until you blink?” He said after a moment, a faraway tone to his voice.
“I didn't even know other people could do it,” Evan said, awe in his voice. “Hey, wow, you're right!”
“Jesus, yours is, like, really blue. It looks like... a bunch of steel cables. It's weird, I felt like I both could and couldn't see the edges of it...”
“I can kind of move it, but I'm not sure if I can do anything with it beyond interfering with people's powers. It's like learning to use a muscle you didn't know you had.”
“Huh.” Titus was again silent for a long moment. “Your turn.”
“Can you do anything else supernatural? Besides your time-eye?”
“Don't call it that, it sounds stupid. And... sorta. I seem to have whatever innate talent you need to actually do magic, but it's not like it's easy to find instructions. Most of the people I know who can use it just dabble with half-broken magic items—wands, amulets, charms,” he pulled the silence charm out from under his coat and bounced it at the end of its chain. “I guess I'm sort of a dabbler. I know a few tricks, I can use a lot of magic tools, I can sense magic pretty well, I can dowse... Most of the time I really never have to use anything besides the eye, though.”
“Is the eye all-or-nothing?”
“Yeah. It's not nearly as useful as you'd think, but any edge is an edge.”
“When I turned off your power and it was coming back, though, you started speeding up—or, I guess, everything else was slowing down? You were moving faster, one way or the other. You were able to touch me, and those punches hurt.”
“Huh, yeah, you're right.”
“Do you think there's a way you could learn to only partially activate it?”
“That'd be great, wouldn't it? Thing is, just using it is a huge strain, and that time spend outside of time adds up. Going by normal calendar time I'm only 26.”
“Fuck, I'm 27!” Evan laughed.
“Yeah, well, I'd rather be prematurely gray than what you've got going on. My turn. Uh... huh, I can't really think of anything else. Uh... are you gay?”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“No, but the question still counts.”
“I'm bi,” Evan mumbled, crossing his arms across his prodigious chest. “Not that it matters. And before you ask, no, you are not my type. We're done talking about this.”
“Huh. You ever sucked--”
“We. Are. Done. Talking about this.”
“Fine, God. Go.”
Evan mentally circled back to an earlier question he felt hadn't been properly answered. “Why are you after Moreno?”
To Evan's surprise, Titus didn't hesitate. “I'm actually after his current boss. He's just the best lead I have to go on.” He took a deep breath, then started talking with a rushed, deadpan pace, as if he was eager to get the words out as quickly as possible so they wouldn't be in his mouth very long.
“Moreno is working for a guy only known as the Soultaker. He has an innate supernatural ability to pull a person's soul out of their body. When that happens, the person just... shuts down, usually. No motive force behind them. Eventually they just die of dehydration, usually. I've seen some people so set in routine that they keep going without a soul, but... it's not really life.
“It seems like the extraction process takes a while, so he can't just walk past you on the street and pickpocket your entire essence. So he needs people rounded up for him, held until he can do his nasty juju. So that's where a degenerate like Moreno comes in.
“So when he pulls out a soul, it, well, it looks like this.”
Titus pulled a battered, faded Crown Royale bag out of his jacket. It bulged strangely and made a quiet clacking when he set it on the table. He pulled out what looked like a large marble, or maybe a dull pearl, and handed it to Evan.
Evan brushed his hair out of his eyes and peered into the milky depths of the sphere. After a few moments of staring, the murky clouds inside the thing seemed to clear and a face floated to the surface. A black man, maybe in his late 40s, going thin on top. His eyes were closed and he appeared to be sleeping, but his expression had a look of discomfort to it, as if he was having a bad dream.
“Jesus Christ,” Evan whispered, “I've seen this guy... Martell Calloway? I saw some news article about how his family found him tied up in his apartment and completely comatose! But he didn't have any injuries beyond being a black eye... so he's dead?”
“Life support,” Titus said, taking Mr. Calloway's soul back from Evan's unresisting fingers, “technically, he's one of the lucky ones. They found his body before it wasted away to nothing, and I was able to intercept his soul before it got to a buyer.”
“Why would someone buy something like this? What use is it? Can you fix him?”
“A human soul is a damn near exhaustible arcane battery,” Titus said gravely. In the split second between sentences, Evan noticed something—after he'd put the bag back into his jacket, Titus surreptitiously touched a pocket on the other side of his jacket, as if he was making sure something was still there.
“If you know what you're doing, you can power a lot of magic using a soul. And you can reuse them as long as you don't overdo it. If you know what you're doing, you can wring all but the last drops of essence out of a soul and let it heal or recover or whatever, and it'll eventually be back to full strength. Very resilient things,” Titus continued. “I don't think they're conscious in there, but... anyway, it's supposed to be really hard to extract a soul. But this guy was born with or spontaneously developed or somehow figured out a shortcut to the whole process. So the market is getting flooded with torture-batteries and ECUs are getting flooded with vegetables. And families are winding up with loved ones who are as good as dead, without having any idea why this happened to them. Dozens of them have been taken off life support in the past few months. Half these souls have no body to return to. And no, I can't fix it. At least not yet,” he sighed again. “I was hoping once I found him, I could somehow get the secret out of him or force him to put them back, or... maybe I thought if I killed him it'd reverse the effect. He needs killing, either way.”
Titus's eye widened as a thought struck him and he looked Evan in the eye for the first time since he'd started the story. Evan realized what he was thinking and looked down at the tattoo on his left arm, flexing his fingers.
“If you can take people's powers after they die...”
“...then we can save these people.”
Titus put a hand over his mouth and for a moment Evan thought he saw his eye well up.
“I'm in,” Evan said, a sense of righteous purpose welling in his heart. “I don't really know what the universe wants, but I doubt... I know it's not this. We'll find him, we'll stop him, and we'll save as many of these people as we can.”
“...thanks,” Titus mumbled behind his hand. He swallowed hard, then seemed to come back to himself. “We're back to square one, though.”
“You said you could dowse? Like, for real?”
“Yes, for real. I can find things and people with the pendulum method. It's handy for tracking down bounties.”
“Why don't you dowse Moreno?”
“Why didn't I think of that?!” Titus said incredulously, smacking his forehead. “Because he's warded. He's not magic himself, but he's collected enough gear through his career that my normal methods don't work.”
Evan rubbed his chin. “What if we used an abnormal method?”
-------------------
An hour later, they were in the RV. Titus was poring over the collection of Evan's notes and the strange papers he'd bought from Delmann's shop. Evan was very carefully slicing a strip of skin from his own ankle up all the way up his leg. The Guiding Light—the Finder's Follysat on the table between them, filled with fresh blood.
“Even if this works, he's going to know we're coming,” Titus muttered, engrossed in the pages. “Remember what I said?”
“That's why we're not going to look for him,” Evan said, adjusting his grip on the potato peeler. “I don't know how we'd even write his name. Can you read that, by the way?”
“Kind of. This is... most of this is written in, like, arcane pidgin. Who compiled these notes?”
“I did, I think.”
“You think?”
“Oh yeah, I forgot to clarify on that. Apparently a couple months ago, before the ritual, I drilled a hole in my own brain to erase some kind of very dangerous memory.”
“You what.”
“That's not a metaphor or anything. Really did it. I could show you the video.”
“I'll pass. So you don't remember where this came from?” Titus shook the Book of Fate at him.
“Nope.”
“Jesus shit, do you have any idea--”
“How reckless that was? Yeah, yeah, I'm still here and I'm the answer to your fuckin' prayers, aren't I?” Evan gave a whoop as the peeling skin reached his thigh. “Got it this time!” he said cheerfully, snipping the flesh-ribbon off with scissors.
“God, that's so fucking gross. Anyway, you haven't explained how we're going to use that thing to find Moreno.”
“We don't set it to look for him. We look for somewhere he's been. Maybe the last place he slept. Do you think you can describe him well enough in that language for it to work?”
Titus looked like he might actually be impressed, but he hid it well. “Yeah, probably.”
“Good. I've got a dictionary I've put together on that tablet next to you, but I'm not sure how accurate it is. Maybe it'll help?”
---------------------
Two hours later, they had it.
Find where a man born between the 27th and 28th north parallels during a new moon under the sign of capricorn with black hair and green eyes who has killed at least 10 people slept in the past week.
They really had to squeeze the letters in, but when Evan put a flame to the wick, it sprung to life, wavered for a moment, and then pointed east. Both men cheered. Evan threw Titus the keys.
“Drive! Drive north until I tell you otherwise!”
While Titus started the engine, Evan spread a map of the United States on the table in front of the lamp, then produced a protractor and a notebook from a drawer. “Okay, you bastard... let's see where you've been hiding...”
It took three days—one spent driving north, one spent driving back to where they'd started, and one spent driving south. While Titus drove, Evan made meticulous notes of the flame's direction, marking angles on the map. Finally he threw the pencil down triumphantly.
“He's in Salt Lake City.”
“Well, that narrows it down a little, I guess. So what, do we just go there and hope this thing points us in the right direction?”
“Too slow,” Evan called, stepping back into what used to be his bedroom and sitting at his computer. “Now I work my magic.”
After parking, Titus walked back to look over Evan's shoulder. The half-dozen monitors on the wall were flickering between rapidly-changing pictures of faces and what appeared to be CCTV footage.
“What is this?”
“This,” Evan said with dramatic pride, “is Blaccat. Facial recognition algorithms that the CIA wishesit had. I actually started working on it years ago before I thought about the implications of it, but I shelved it. I figured since I may be needing to, uh...”
“Be Batman?”
“...yeah...that I should get back to work on it. Right now it's comparing faces to the description you gave me and cycling through every damn security camera in the city looking for it.”
“How illegal is this?”
“Soooooo illegal.”
“Oh, hey, can you get into police department records?”
“Does the Pope shit in the woods?”
“See if you can get into the Las Vegas mugshots from... February 2019. Run your face-recognition thingy there.”
“Alright.... and... is that our boy?”
A handsome Latino man in his early 30s with shoulder-length jet-black hair and piercing green eyes stared at them from over a booking clipboard.
“That's him,” Titus breathed.
“Perfect! Now I just have to feed that into... wow.” Evan made a gesture and a black and white video popped up on the biggest monitor. The man in the mugshot was walking along the street, flanked by a short stocky man in bandanna and a lanky man with the ugliest white-boy dreads Evan had ever seen.
“That's him! Where is that? When is that?”
Evan grinned up at Titus. “That's live. I can track him and put us at the nearest intersection.”
Titus smiled, eye overbright, and began breathing heavily through his nose. “We got him.”
Evan met his eye and nodded. “Let's get him.”
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public ok)u ever think abt how the only love in Obi-Wan's life that didn't turn him away voluntarily was cody bc i do and it hurts me
*sobbing noises* Yeah, that subject definitely preoccupies my thoughts more than it should T_T
Anonymous said:
Hmmm did Obi's injuries from the attack scar (for By the Sea)? Did Cody freak out when he learned just how bad they were? (Not necessarily a prompt but a question, no pressure!) THANKS GLIMMER YOU THE BEST
Oh, some of the definitely did. The stab wound in his shoulder and some of the gouging scratches along his side left marks behind. I think Cody traces them all, wishes Thrull were alive so he could kill him again, and apologizes over and over while Obi-Wan goes ??? because he’s fine and it wasn’t Cody’s fault.
Anonymous said:
I know The Mandalorian isn't a huge interest to you, but I caught myself in stitches thinking about it in the C&T universe. Mer!Din finding a human baby and his dad instincts are instantly activated. Grogu could be a different species, but all I'm thinking is how hilarious the human escapades would be. At first he panics, bc he can't care for a human! But eventually he changes his mind. If the King can have a human riduur, then Din can have a human ad'ika. Who knows how it ends but its hilarious
AHAHHAHAHA OH DELIGHTFUL! Trying to catch a human toddler that Will Not Stay Still. Din ducks under the water for a second, pops back up, Grogu is GONE. Did a seagull take him? Din doesn’t know! His stress levels are high and getting higher by the moment.
Anonymous said:
“[Obi-Wan listened] to the rain fall on the top of the cabin one evening, sweet music rising out of the surrounding sea as the merfolk sang.” (from the chapter 6 of C&T) 🥺😭 Are they all singing to him to help him through the storm???? Did Wolv tell them what to do????? My heart!!!!!
EHE I left that one vague-ish. Maybe they’re singing to help or maybe it’s a happy accident. They aren’t usually close enough to the surface to sort of experience rain directly on the water. It could just be very, very nice and intriguing to them, prompting song.
Anonymous said:
Can’t stop thinking about how the merfolk have tales of how humans are unable to talk 😅. I love how Eyayah’s first thought when Kote’s telling him about Obi-Wan is “you taught him how to talk??????” and Kote has to be like “😑he knows how to talk he just didn’t know MANDO’A.” It’s just so funny to me that merfolk think humans are uncivilized brutes and Obi-Wan’s like “🤷♂️ I mean you’re not THAT far off”
:DDD Much like a lot of rumors have some crumb of truth, I think it all comes down from attempts to talk to humans in the past, which were met with understandable confusion because most people aren’t willing to spend months together, learning a language from the sea floor up. (I also do lol because sooner or later Obi-Wan is going to find out what Cody did to Thrull and realize that humans aren’t the only violent ones, in the right situations).
Anonymous said:
By the Sea 'verse: Ahsoka 🤝 Obi-Wan
The council having almost comedically low expectations of them
IT’S TRUE. Both of them firmly on the Outside, facing suspicion for....really close to the same reasons, not trusted, really. I have a feeling Ahsoka very much enjoys spending time with her brother-in-law, who understands what she’s dealing with very well.
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TGF Thoughts: 5x09-- And the end was violent...
It’s been a busy week, but I didn’t want to wait until after 5x10 aired to write this. This recap may be a bit rushed (read: I am going to make an effort to just skip over scenes I don’t care about; we’ll see how many of those there actually are). I didn’t love this episode overall, but I thought it was a huge improvement over 5x08’s parking ticket fiasco and wish it had immediately followed 5x07.
Bless these episodes for not being overly long
Oooh, the opening sequence is long and I have nothing to say about it! Thanks for making my life easier, writers!
The point of this opening is to show that there are lots of problems with the official court system—inefficiencies, inconveniences like broken elevators, overcrowding in prisons (though, uh, I don’t think the actual problem there is that there’s not room to incarcerate more people)-- that might make cops open to an alternative like Wackner’s court.
I know the cop thread kind of started with last week’s parking nonsense, but surely there was a way other than the parking nonsense to bridge the gap between 5x07’s prison system and 5x09’s focus on Wackner’s court suddenly being a replacement for criminal court, too.
(Y’all, I have SO MANY questions about how Wackner can POSSIBLY judge criminal cases, but they’re all just variations on... UH, GUYS, ISN’T THIS ILLEGAL? LIKE SUPER DUPER ILLEGAL?)
I see that there is a filming notice when the cops bring a dude into Wackner’s court, and that the notice says that by entering on the premises you consent to being on film. I do not think that this sign being displayed would hold up as evidence of anyone consenting to be sentenced to a private prison on criminal charges.
New question: How did Wackner Rules get on the air so fast? And are they just filming endless episodes in real time? They just film anyone who walks in?
I think there is supposed to be a subplot about Marissa liking fame and attention; it is almost a little too subtle to be meaningful. I see a through line from her sleeping with that editor dude last week to her smiling at the flowers in this scene to her scenes with Carmen later this episode. Unfortunately, I need a lot more for this to work.
I don’t need Marissa to be a hero who constantly does the right thing and calls out Wackner on crossing the line, but I’m really sad that this is what they’re using Marissa for when we were due for Marissa calling Wackner out (in a meaningful, lasting way) like two episodes ago. It’s felt odd to me that she just sticks around and assists Wackner and Del when they’re doing things like putting people in private prisons and comparing the show they’re making to The Apprentice. Any subtle shift in Wackner’s decisions that has signaled to me that he’s gone too far is something that I can say with certainty would signal the same to Marissa. Marissa’s outspoken and passionate, and we have seen enough reaction shots to know she knows things are going bad, fast. Am I really meant to believe that because she likes Wackner and she likes fame, she’s not going to do anything more substantial than look upset from time to time? Not only does that feel out of character, it’s also just boring.
And, it speaks to another problem I’m starting to have with the arc: they needed to get to the point faster. Once Wackner said “David Cord’s private prison,” this stopped being fun. It would’ve stopped being fun for Marissa and it stopped being fun for viewers (seriously though, the change in tone on Reddit between 5x07 and 5x08/5x09 is VERY noticeable). So why did we follow that up with some repetitive filler bullshit about parking spaces and then start getting back to the point in this episode? I’m sure they’re going somewhere big in 5x10, but you can’t follow an explosive reveal with more status quo.
(Also, lol, I think the parking space thing was meant to be a fun silly absurd little way of entering into themes about authority and Wackner trying to legitimize his court, but it was about an issue so relatable and illogical that I think it feels even harder to believe than the, like, whole concept of a secret court in a Copy Coop.)
Time for Marissa to look concerned again! She’s confused about if the case is real or not, and when Wackner says it’s real, she says it’s not for their court and it’s crossing a line. She is absolutely correct. Wackner’s like, let me know if you think I’m crossing a line after I rule, and then he makes a silly flailing gesture that Marissa can use as a signal.
I actually don’t hate that scene; it is a good scene. I am only snarking on it because it feels like familiar territory and it belonged in an earlier episode.
Am I correctly understanding that these cops wanted to be filmed bringing a man against his will to a fake court with a private prison? And that they wanted this to air on television? Okay.
I will say that I believe the motivations of everyone involved except Marissa. Wackner thinks he’s doing good for the world. Del is getting good TV (I mean, I still think that Wackner Rules title sequence is shit and the show Del seems to be making is terrible, but that’s besides the point). Cord has so much money he’s untouchable and this is fun for him. The cops just don’t want to deal with bureaucracy when it comes to someone who they basically caught in the act.
Court! Stuff! Happens!
Wackner sentences the guy to one year in “David Cord’s private prison.” Again, I know they have to say this for exposition/storytelling reasons, but I continue to find it hilarious that David Cord would want his name to be used in this way (because he like, absolutely would not want his name to be used this way).
The cops like Wackner’s verdict so they tell all their friends to also take their cases to Wackner. What could possibly go wrong!
Like, yeah, there are problems with the criminal justice system—and some of them are even the ones these cops are mad about—but this is ABSOLUTELY not the answer!!! You cannot just take people off the streets and place them in private prisons because they were forced to enter a filming zone for a TV show what the actual fuck
Love David Lee still having candy on his desk. Some things never change.
Allegra, who was welcomed by the partners of RL last week, is interviewing for a job with David Lee. I don’t understand. Doesn’t David Lee have to approve new partners at RL?
Please don’t mention real estate on Mars, Allegra. You’ve made me think of Jason and how bad season seven was.
Allegra is feeling a bit different from Elsbeth this episode, though she very much still has some Elsbeth energy. She is very strategic and blunt in a way Elsbeth isn’t, and she seems a little more focused and intense.
“I notice, in a partisan world, the person in the middle controls the agenda,” Allegra says of her alliances with both Liz and Diane. This is interesting. What are Allegra’s goals here? Just to have power? Does she have a vision for RL? Is it just a good paycheck?
(My guess is it’s about power and money for her. I don’t think she is going to be the ally Madeline wants. I don’t think anyone who voluntarily signs up to be a name partner at a firm owned by corporate overlords is a natural ally for Madeline though, tbh.)
(I really hoped this arc would explore that just a tiny bit more. The longer this conflict drags on the more convinced I become that the whole question of if it’s appropriate for Diane to lead a black firm is moot. It’s an interesting and complicated question, but with some distance from the plot, it becomes pretty clear that in this particular situation, RL isn’t a black firm. It’s a subsidiary of a large multinational corporation.)
(The show seems very aware of this and keeps having plot points like Diane using David Lee to keep her job and having Madeline call out all the awful clients they have... but it needs to go somewhere.)
(This also may be why I’m more down on the end of the season—in the middle of the season, nods at the things I’ve been thinking are appreciated references. At the end, they’re more like plotholes or reminders of the questions we should actually be spending time on.)
“Are you shitting me?” David Lee storms into the room as Liz and Diane are working. “David, we are shitting you about so many things, you’re gonna have to be more specific,” Liz responds. God, funny!Liz is maybe my favorite part of season 5?
Liz calls David out on his power, noting that he also reports to STR Laurie. So it seems like Liz and Diane can make decisions on their own, and STR Laurie can overrule them, but not stop them in advance?
This little ad about an ice cream chain is like, 15 seconds too long.
Carmen is back!!!! She’s helping Rivi sign a deal with an ice cream chain so that they’ll turn into a distributor of weed.
Why do we have to watch a SECOND commercial?
The farm wants Rivi to stop dealing other drugs if they’re going to enter into this deal.
Allegra, another character who seemingly has no qualms about representing drug kingpins, quickly impresses Rivi.
I understand why there is an interpreter for Rivi’s wife. I do not understand why the interpreter interprets conversations BETWEEN Rivi and his wife. And then he’s translating the sign language into Spanish? But also Rivi speaks fluent English in half of these scenes? WHAT is happening?
Allegra is also different from Elsbeth in that with clients, you’re NEVER going to underestimate her. You might not follow her at first, but she’ll get to the point clearly and concisely and without telling you how much she likes your lipstick.
But like at 13:44 Rivi signs something to his wife, and when she signs back the interpreter tells him what she’s saying. This is so so so clearly for the audience but I wish it had just been captions because it makes NO SENSE that the interpreter is in on this private conversation between two people who both know sign language!?
Rivi and Isabel now LOVE Allegra. Diane and Liz are like, okay!
Cop stuff happens.
Credits!!! If you haven’t already, be sure to check out indiewire’s piece on the making of the credits—it's fascinating.
Brooke directed 😀
Marissa the celebrity is signing autographs in Wackner’s court when the cops bring in some young men affiliated with Rivi.
NO, GOD NO, NOT THIS DEVIL’S ADVOCATE FUCKERY. The problem I have with the Devil’s Advocate, in addition to it being fucking annoying, is that it is also the exact opposite of what Wackner’s court is all about. Wackner is about facts and really hearing people out, and from what we’ve seen, Devil’s Advocate is about... stereotypes and pop sociology so bad it’s essentially just racism?
“These young men are the victims of a system that arbitrarily declares some drugs illegal, and others, like alcohol, not. They should be released. To hold them is to perpetuate an unfair system,” Devil’s Advocate says. Good lord, a 7th grader could write a more persuasive speech than this bullshit.
WHY IS DAVID CORD PROSECUTING THIS, WHY IS THE TRIAL ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT DRUGS HARM COMMUNITIES, WHY IS THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE SOUNDING LIKE A WHITE BOY IN AN INTRO TO SOCIOLOGY CLASS WITH HIS REFERENCES TO THE WIRE, WHY IS ANY OF THIS HAPPENING OMG MAKE IT STOP HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS BAD
Why is Marissa the court clerk being called upon to be defense, WHY IS THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE JUST SCREAMING “DEFUND THE POLICE” WHAT THE FUCK
I’m sorry, I am going to rant about this more, I truly cannot get over how fucking stupid the Devil’s Advocate is. He just starts screaming “defund the police”??? To what end?! Why does Wackner want this in his court?!
I revise what I said earlier. Devil’s Advocate isn’t just sounding a white boy in an intro to sociology class. He is sounding like a white boy who showed up to an intro to sociology class absolutely hammered.
Marissa, correctly, argues that the arrestees should be taken to Cook County. Then she hears that they work for Rivi and she knows this is bad.
Cord calling Marissa out for her firm representing Rivi: Another thing that would NEVER air on Wackner Rules.
David Lee seems surprised Liz and Diane did not get rid of Allegra. I don’t know why he is surprised, I think they made it very clear they don’t see him as an authority figure.
STR Laurie is now demanding (another) 10% in cuts to pay for Allegra. Liz says they’ll pay for her with the money that used to be for Adrian and Diane notes that Allegra has more stature than Adrian. Interesting.
David Lee then decides to be both sexist and racist for really no reason at all. Pleasant!
Showing Carmen as competent but not yet as strategic as Allegra is a really nice way to underline that Carmen is still a first year even if she is very very good.
Liz, Diane, and Allegra talk about cost cutting. Allegra is like, no, we need to spend more, which makes sense, both for the reasons she outlines and because when you bring on a powerful name partner, your need for lower level support does not DECREASE, it INCREASES.
I know this scene is meant to show Allegra thinking outside the box, but I am a bit surprised that (1) Neither Liz nor Diane push back on the 10% cut and (2) When Allegra suggests hiring back all the associates and then some, Diane seems to think Allegra doesn’t understand they’re talking about cuts? Like, obviously she knows the topic of conversation, Diane.
“We don’t run our own business. We work for a global conglomerate,” Liz notes. Yup. Right point, wrong context lol.
Diane and Liz are just too smart and strategic to have to be told ALL of this by Allegra... especially Diane, who is not only smart but also used to dealing with management.
And worse... Liz and Diane think they made a mistake with Allegra because of this? I mean, I guess if your goal is to permanently work for a big corporation that will slowly chip away at your budget because they can and to never make any waves because that might disrupt the status quo, sure, Allegra isn’t who you want! But do Diane and Liz REALLY want the status quo?
I hope they find a way out from under STR Laurie next year, as much as I hate the firm switching, because it’s just such a boring dead-end when Diane and Liz don’t actually have power or control.
OOOH I like Del asking Liz what SHE wants wrt the whole Diane situation. She says she wants to “stop fighting” and for Diane to “stop using her racist clients to keep her job” and for “the firm to be led in the right way by the right people.” So sounds like she wants to work with Diane, then? That last one is as vague as can be, but I think we can infer at this point that Liz is more concerned with stability and a work environment she likes than idealism.
God, Liz and Alicia would’ve gotten along so well as adults lmao.
Del tells Liz that “women at work always want to be thought of as nice. Women always want consensus. But you know what, baby, sometimes you just gotta say, ‘Fuck you, and you and you and you. Alright? This is my business and it’s my decision.’” I see where he’s coming from (even though this sounds like something my nemesis the Devil’s Advocate would say) but I am not sure I agree that’s Liz’s problem here.
Actually, maybe I do agree with Del. I think Del’s saying to say FU to Diane, but what Liz clearly actually wants to do is say FU to Madeline lol
Liz asks him to change the topic. Where ARE they? Is this a restaurant or an incredibly nice backyard?
Del changes the topic to how his boss wants him to come back to LA, but he wants to get Liz’s thoughts on their future. Liz asks him to start since men are better at saying what they mean (ha, love her giving him shit for that).
He basically tells her he wants to stay and she says he should stay. Aww.
Rivi’s house is... certainly something.
Isabel is concerned because three of their boys have disappeared. She, naturally, suspects they’re at police blacksites.
I’m sorry, did Marissa not elevate the Rivi case in Wackner’s court to the partners’ attention!? Rivi blames the dairy company, even though this does not... make that much sense?
This escalates into the murder of cows?? What... the fuck.
Now Marissa finds Carmen and loops her in! But only now that she knows Rivi’s looking for them and Rivi’s about to, like, kill Christian Borle’s character whose name I’ve forgotten.
Marissa’s position on this is that Wackner will just let the boys go so Rivi shouldn’t know about any of this. Rivi would just kill Wackner. And Carmen is like, Rivi will just kill Christian Borle if we don’t tell. Fair point.
Carmen, being an actual adult (sorry Marissa, I usually love you), is willing to admit when she’s in over her head, so she walks off to go get Liz for help. Yay!
Rivi is not impressed with Wackner’s court or Marissa. He and Isabel want either Carmen or Allegra. Liz says Carmen will do it, I think meaning Marissa will do it but Carmen will be client facing.
I love it when we get to see Liz just be super competent. It’s not a rare occurrence, but it’s just very, very clear in this scene how much better Liz is at handling this situation than Carmen or Marissa would’ve been and I like it when the show makes time to emphasize that even on a show full of hypercompetent people, some people are more skilled than others at handling some situations.
Liz, Diane, and David meet with STRL over Zoom. Allegra somehow pops up on the meeting but also joins as a cat because you know what the cat lawyer on Zoom needed? To be parodied on TGF. Ugh
OH MY GOD I DIDN’T PUT THIS TOGETHER SOONER BUT IT’S A CAT LAWYER YOU GUYS. This will mean NOTHING to any of you because it’s about an inside joke I have with the friend who got me into TGW, but indulge me in a little nostalgia here, ‘kay? So in like 2012, there was a trend on Tumblr where everyone would photoshop cat ears onto their favorite TV characters and my friend and I were like, why would I want to put cat ears on my favorite character, idgi. So then we started photoshopping cat ears on to the most unlikely characters and we landed on David Lee. We referred to David Lee as a cat for a really long time. Like, if we were to talk about David Lee today we would probably still call him Cat! David Lee.
Allegra starts trying to work her magic on STRL. Diane literally runs down the stairs to try to stop Allegra. I am not sure why Diane and Liz are so anti-Allegra during this conversation which is only happening so they can have the funds to keep her on board!
Allegra tries to share a burrito with Diane and Liz and says she stands by her strategy. Liz finally says she’s not sure this will work. Allegra is understanding.
I respect that. Allegra may as well go all out and see if she can make this workable.
(That said, this is pretty much the opposite of her whole staying neutral thing from earlier!)
No one is in the audience at Wackner’s court when Carmen shows up, yet the musician who I like only very slightly more than Devil’s Advocate is still on call. Just STOP.
Overall I’ve liked the Wackner arc and I’m excited to see it wrap up tomorrow, but lemme tell you: it had better wrap up tomorrow. I am NOT open to dealing with this for another season.
The musician takes orders from Cord? The cameras are rolling? Rivi is there? WHAT?
I know that NONE of this makes sense, but some things make exceptionally little sense and I just can’t.
Guys, remember the parking tickets?!
Oh, excuse me, the ice cream company is actually a yogurt company.
Rivi notes that there are three boys missing. Wackner only has two.
I am a little surprised Rivi has managed to be successful with that temper. Idk what skill set you need to be a top drug dealer, but he attacks people like three times an episode and that seems like a really good way to not build trust and to also get yourself killed?
Liz and Del talk about what happened in Wackner’s court. Liz asks how they deal with liability. I guess she isn’t Del’s lawyer, then. Del says they have releases and people want to be on TV. Liz says what I’ve been saying, which is that Rivi doesn’t want to be on TV. Del says there are ways around that and references the show Cops as though that’s enough to make this question go completely away.
Liz references The Apprentice, for those of us who didn’t catch the reference last week and/or for those of us (me!) who wanted to pretend that Wackner wasn’t somehow a commentary on Trump and star power. Ugh.
(I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad point, I just am not sure that I think it is the most interesting point about the Wackner plot.)
“Remember how we all watched and laughed and thought it was funny when they fired people?” Liz says. “We? No, no. Hmm, you... you never watched The Apprentice,” Del responds. She did not. Hahahahahaha I love this exchange. It feels very real.
Liz seems less concerned with Wackner and more concerned with Del’s eagerness to turn Wackner into a larger than life personality with a devoted following, which, yes, thank you, Liz, this is actually a much better and more interesting point!
“That came out of nowhere,” Del says. “No, it didn’t,” Liz responds, correctly.
Del talks about how Liz represents Wackner, along with murderers, rapists, drug dealers, and yet she wants to draw the line at reality show producer who makes people famous? He’s got a point, even if I’d argue that choosing a romantic partner is not the same as running a business.
“Would your firm turn down [the producer of The Apprentice] if he wanted to join the roster?” Del asks. “Good point,” Liz sighs, resigned. She’s not happy he’s right, but she knows he is.
Sigh. I already said some variation of this, but this season seems to have all the right ideas floating around, it’s just choosing the wrong ones to explore deeply and the wrong moments to mention other ones. Things like Liz worrying that someone she’s considering starting a serious relationship with might have some personality traits she doesn’t love can be done through throwaway lines that quickly come back to being about work/plot (that’s what happens in this scene, basically) and I love that. But the existence of STRL and the influence it has over whether or not RL is a black firm at some point can’t be dealt with through references. Wackner becoming increasingly off the rails can’t be turned down to a simmer after reaching boiling point. RL’s unsavory client’s can’t just come up in moments like this; they have to play into a central conflict.
Like, what good is it to constantly remind the audience that RL represents a ton of “bad guys” if you’re not going to go anywhere with that other than making Liz and Diane occasionally be like, “hmm, good point.” when called out on their client list? This could be a really, really good piece of a larger puzzle about the culture at RL, and instead it feels like it’s a card they play whenever they need some moral complexity. Just... go somewhere with it, please. Either stop pretending that RL are the good guys or have them seriously deal with their client list.
Anyway, then Liz and Del talk about his possible LA move. It’s kinda inconclusive; they talk about work just being work.
Outside of court, Carmen doesn’t believe that Wackner only has two of Rivi’s boys.
“I don’t know why you’ve been wasting so much time with this joke court, because it’s not gonna magically turn you into a real lawyer, Marissa,” Carmen lashes out. Oooo. Now this is interesting, can I have an extended version of this scene and also all the other Carmen/Marissa scenes that we should’ve gotten in the episodes Carmen was barely in?
I understand Carmen’s frustration, especially since I imagine she worked pretty damn hard to get into/get through law school. And, as fun and smart as Marissa can be, she does get bored easily, try to skip over the dull moments, and moves on and still always lands on her feet. I can see how that would rub Carmen the wrong way, especially during a stressful moment.
Carmen isn’t exactly a rule follower, but I’d say she is someone who is very conscious of the rules, and, I think someone who values structure more than she lets on (I especially see this in her decision to stay at RL instead of work independently/with Lester).
Marissa calls Jay for help!
Allegra talks to David Lee, with Liz and Diane in the background. Allegra makes her argument to David Lee again and it goes over well. I think the writers think there’s more suspense in this plot than there is; it’s pretty obvious from the start that Allegra is correct and Diane and Liz are only correct if the goal is to avoid all conflict.
What is David Lee’s role at STRL? Is there anything else in that office besides awful HR and RL? He talks like he is more RL than STRL and that doesn’t track with what we saw of STRL last year.
Marissa spots a flyer that leads her and Jay to where the missing boy is: another fake court. This was inevitable—I think one of the very first things I said was that Wackner himself seemed fine and decent, but what happens when someone else decides they, too, want to be a judge because they said so—and I’m glad to see the writers go this direction. I actually think this would’ve been an effective build after 5x07 and would’ve kept turning up the tension, so again, most of my issues with this arc lie in 5x08’s momentum killing bullshit. It’s hard to get back into this plot when they lost me last week.
Shocker: Wackner having a reality show inspired more copy cats who take cues from the show and think Marissa is a celebrity.
Vinetta, the judge of the second court, puts people in “time-out” (read: imprisons them in her basement) and... yeah, I don’t care how kind she is to them, this is not okay! The solution to the prison system is not for people to turn their basements into prisons!
I don’t know that the writers are TRYING to comment on this here, but there is definitely something to be said about communities that the legal system repeatedly fails finding alternative measures of justice.
Vinetta is nice and seems reasonable as a judge, but she also has a basement prison her judgments are influenced by her religious believes so, uh, yeah, not good!!!
Wackner, however, thinks Vinetta’s court is GREAT! He wants to go see it, because “it’s finally happening.” What’s happening? “Justice,” he says. Uhhhhhhh, no. This is just so dangerous, even if everyone involved so far seems to mean well.
I’m very curious to see how this little thought experiment wraps up (again: I say wraps up because I cannot deal with the thought of this being more than a one season arc).
One thing I love about the Wackner arc—my 5x08 issues aside—is its slow burn. The writers did a phenomenal job of getting me to take Wackner seriously at first, then slowly started to take all the things that seemed great and reasonable about Wackner’s court to their extremes (while still making his judgment on any individual topic* sound). It’s a very fun and entertaining thought experiment, and I think that’s why this arc has largely succeeded for me, even though it’s so far removed from reality.
* Exceptions to this include policing, prisons, cancel culture, and, of course, parking spaces.
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Nina’s relationships with everyone:
Diavolo- The Demon Prince finds Nina quite interesting. With her first hand knowledge of the human world they normally sit together for afternoon tea, her happily answering whatever the Prince has inquired. He also finds Nina impersonations of all the brothers, especially Lucifer rather hilarious.
6.5/10
Barbatos- Her and Barbatos, when he isn’t overly busy are often found in the kitchen with Luke learning new recipes and wiping up a new batch of sweet tarts and cookies for afternoon tea as well as teaching a few human world recipes in return. She loves learning how to make Devildom food.
6/10
Lucifer- At first Nina and Lucifer did not like each other at all, from his cruel comments and punishments of Mammon; in which she very vocally objected to, and in her words “his attitude problem” and the way he treated her at first. But she slowly learnt that like her, behind the front he puts up is a soft heart. They understand each other a little better now and are often seen drinking tea together with the Prince but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t join in on Satan and Belphie’s ‘pranks’
5.5/10
Mammon-They had quite a weird relationship to start off with, Mammon being a typical tsundere and Nina not really knowing how to deal with him at first, but over the months of getting to know each other and opening up to one another they now have an unbreakable bond. They can still get on each other’s nerves at times, like Nina trying to stop Mammon with another one of his ‘get rich quick schemes’ but she just doesn’t want him to get into trouble or in even more debt.
8/10
Leviathan-At first Nina thought Levi hated her but she soon realised he was just socially awkward. At the beginning of their soon to be friendship he introduced her to TSL, she of course read all the books he gave her in a day and is now a huge fan, although not as big as Levi. They are often seen rewatching and marathoning the series as well as recommending each other some anime and manga which Levi’s always declares that they’re too ‘Normie’ for him but he secretly enjoys all her recommendations, especially Madoka Magica.
7.5/10
Satan- Don’t tell the brothers but Satan is Nina’s favourite brother. From both having a love of books, from fictional stories to history they almost immediately were drawn to each other. They are often seen together either reading, studying or discussing a topic they both found intriguing into the early hours of the morning and on occasion going on a ‘date’ to a cat cafe or to the museum to see a new exhibit...if Mammon doesn’t insert himself and basically third wheel.
9/10
Asmo- After many late night cram sessions and the stress that accompanies studying Nina has a great appreciation for skin care so automatically Asmo and Nina got along quite well, he often loves to braid her long hair for her before she goes to sleep. He often helps her with her sketches, modelling for her pose study (in which Mammon gets very sulky about) She also loves going shopping with him, Mammon and sometimes Solomon.
7/10
Beel-Beel and Nina often find each other in the kitchen in the middle of the night, her from staying up late and Beel well because he’s Beel. They help each other make the best late night snack (without waking Lucifer up of course) they have a great relationship, Beel normally helps out in the kitchen whenever Nina is making food cause he gets to taste test. She also tries to help both Beel and Belphie when they have nightmares.
8/10
Belphie-After the unfortunate events (Lesson 16👀) Nina just couldn’t come to hate him so she welcomed him with open arms and became some what of an outlet for him. They often spend their time together either in Nina’s room or in the planetarium, most of the time Belphie falling asleep. He also has played a part in helping Nina’s messed up sleeping schedule, increasing the amount of naps she has as well as finding the best places to nap at RAD. Lucifer thinks he’s a bad influence when it comes to her studies.
8/10
Solomon-Nina finds Solomon quite intriguing and funny. She often becomes the guinea pig (mostly voluntarily) of some of his spells and other magic he performs but only in return he teaches her some magic too. They go shopping together with Asmo and Mammon.
7.5/10
Simeon-How can anyone ever hate this man, was her initial thought when they met. They often attend coffee shops, mostly drinking tea together and Nina secretly trying to get info on the next instalment in TSL and giving feedback when asked. (She would never tell Levi, she thinks it’s quite hilarious that he hasn’t figured it out)
6.5/10
Luke-She first found Luke rather funny when they first met; I mean...chihuahua and patted him on the head, in which he protested. They soon bonded over sweets and food and they both give each other cooking lessons. It’s also now mandatory that Nina spends at least one evening every fortnight over at Purgatory Hall so they can cook and have dinner together.
6.5/10
#obey me mc tag#obey me oc#obey me mc#obey me shall we date#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#oc relationships
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