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abbs-writes · 28 days

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Sex God | part 1 | Luke Hemmings 18 +

I haven't written fanfic in ages nor smut so here we go again! I hope yall enjoy my angsty smut lol but like lowkey there's no smut in this yet also I picture this as the like sounds good feels good / Youngblood era of Luke, whichever you prefer

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DO NOT ENTER sorta triggering, talk of sex, being afraid of sex, kissing, making out, lots of talk of sex tbh, slight mention or trauma, mentions of therapy, neck kisses, it's fluffy but also sad. Idk what else I missed so let me know

You hated the online dating scene. You hated the games, the back and forth and the people that just wanted sex. God, you hated it. You wished it was easy, you wished you were someone who could just have sex with someone and move on but you weren't. You'd never had sex before and you had so many negative thoughts about yourself and sex. It was difficult and made things so much harder for you. No one knew about your problems with yourself and the relationship with sex, except maybe your therapist. But it just wasn't something you talked about. Your therapist suggested you talk about it, share it with your best friend or someone you trusted but that just made you anxious.

How the fuck were you supposed to tell your best friend when he was literally someone people called a sex god. Yes. A sex god. It was a stupid nickname but one he earned apparently. He had sex whenever and wherever he wanted. He wasn't shy about it. He wasn't scared of it like you were. He was so confident in himself and his body and sex and it was something that made you jealous. You wished you were like him but with all the things that happened in your life... it just wasn't possible. At least not with a lot of work.

You invited your best friend, Luke, over. You know, the so called sex god. You asked him if he wanted to come over and watch a movie with you and he was down, like he always was. He was always down to hang out with you, he'd drop everything to hang out with you and you'd do the same. It was just the bond you two had. It was something strong that no one could come between.

There was a knock on your door, signaling Luke was here. You had spent the last hour working yourself help, trying to figure out how to have this conversation with him without freaking out or having a breakdown or weirding him out. You took a deep breath to steady yourself as you opened the door. Luke smiled, holding up a bag of premade popcorn. "I brought pop corn." He smiled. You couldn't help but smile, relaxing a tiny bit. "Thank god," you giggled, letting him come inside. He took off his shoes, doing his usual routine of taking shoes off, putting his leather jacket on the chair and walking straight to the couch where he sat down and put his bag of pop corn on the coffee table.

You walked over to him, sitting down next to him. You took the blanket off the edge of the couch, offering it to him for you two to share per usual. He smiled, laying the blanket over the two of you before you grabbed the remote. "So what movie are we watching?" Luke asked, looking at the tv. Fuck, you didn't think about what movie to actually watch, you usually already had it picked out. "Uh.. I was hoping you had picked one." You lied, looking at the tv and refusing to look at him. "Hey, this isn't how this works! If it's movie night at your place then you choose," Luke chuckled. "I know.. uh, sorry." You said softly, "what about Pretty Woman?" You asked. "Sure, I don't mind watching it for the 20th time," Luke joked.

Usually you'd play like you were offended but this time you didn't. You just stayed silent. Luke knew something was off the second he stepped foot into your home. He felt it but he didn't want to say anything, so he didn't. But now, he felt like he needed to. "What's wrong?" He asked softly, grabbing the remote from your hand gently. "And don't say nothing because I know you're lying." He said, chuckling gently. You pursed your lips slightly, trying to find the courage to speak, to just spit it out, to just be honest with him. But you were so embarrassed, so very embarrassed.

He sat the remote on the coffee table, sitting back and gently grabbing your hand. His way of silently reminding you he was right there, and willing to wait for you to speak. He did this, it was a routine for when either of you had something important to talk about. But for him, when he talked, he liked to lay his head in your lap, have you play with his hair as he spilled all of his dirty secrets and complaints and problems. You had never really told him what helped you talk... so he just held your hand, running his thumb over the back of your hand, a silent comfort.

In all honesty, you had never truly opened up to him about deep stuff. You kept everything surface level. You grew up practically being taught to never share the deep stuff, it was draining to others, making you a burden. But you were never a burden, it's just how you felt. So what now felt like a huge step, was becoming the biggest step anyone would ever have to take. It seemed impossible and made you want to curl into a ball, sink into the couch and fall into oblivion where no one would find you. But that just wasn't possible.

A couple minutes had passed of you two sitting in silence. You trying to steady your breathing to keep yourself from freaking out. "Hey..." Luke spoke softly, he gently reached up with his free hand. He placed his hand on your cheek, the first time he's ever done that. You looked at him with glossy eyes. "Whatever it is, I know it's serious. Okay? So just take your time.. I'm not going anywhere." He said gently, stroking his thumb over your cheek. You nodded in response, closing your eyes. You just needed to get it over with but where do you even start. What was the plan? What even was the point?

He pulled his hand away from your face making you miss his touch. But you didn't say anything. "I don't know- I don't- I don't know where to start." You explained, Luke just nodded in response. "Start anywhere, beginning, middle, end. I don't care, just start wherever." He said, squeezing your hand gently. You nodded once again, "I'm- I'm a virgin." You said. Luke just nodded, not respond immediately. You waited for his response though. "I know." He said softly. You nodded, "but it's not- it's not about that- god, this is so stupid," you sighed, pulling your hands away to wipe your face. "It's not stupid if it's effecting you." He said, grabbing your hands, both of them this time.

"I just- I'm scared, okay? I'm scared and my therapist told me to talk to someone I trust and I thought I could tell you but- but- now I feel stupid because I'm talking to someone who is constantly having sex- I mean not constantly having sex but like having it a lot and- and there's nothing wrong with that- I don't know." You rambled, nerves catching up to you, making you a shaky mess. Luke couldn't help but chuckle, "It's okay to be scared and I know you don't mean anything bad by saying I have a lot of sex. It's true, I have a lot of sex and I wish you would've come to me sooner so we could talk about it." He said, running his thumbs over the backs of your hands.

"I just- it's not even just the fear, it's the anxiety. The problems I have with my self image and my body and worry I squirm too much or I'm too loud or I'm too twitchy or I cum to fast. It's so much.. and it's scary." You explained. Luke gave your hands another squeeze. "For starters, you're beautiful. I've told you that before and I'll tell you a million times over. Secondly, no one cums too fast, I don't believe that's a thing. If anyone does they're crazy. I mean I'd think it's quite the honor if I was with a girl and she came fast." He said, chuckling softly. You couldn't help but blush, smiling a little bit.

"There's that pretty smile. And trust me, the last thing someone's probably thinking about during sex is you being too loud or squirmy. They're probably just thinking about how beautiful and how lucky they are to have a girl like you. I know I'd feel so lucky." Luke said. His words made you blush heavily, he was so sweet to you and sometimes you felt so undeserving. "Don't stress about it, okay? It's going to be okay." He said, leaning over and kissing your forehead.

You wish you could stop him, give him a look that said 'please kiss me' and he'd just understand. And he'd make all your fears melt away, turn you into putty in his hands and just make you feel so good but you just never thought it would happen. That was until he pulled back, but not fully. You looked into his eyes, you saw something but you couldn't place it. His eyes flicked from your lips back to your eyes. You felt the butterflies erupt in your stomach, felt your heart beating faster and faster. Was this the moment? Could it be the moment? Please let it be the moment.

The air was still between them, tension so thick. But she couldn't move, she didn't want to move. She wanted to stay this close to him, take him in, all his beauty, his scent, everything. He was heavenly. He was a god in more than one way in your mind. "Can I-" he spoke softly. You nodded before he even finished his sentence.

Then it happened, he closed the gap between the two of you. His lips meeting yours, as if they were made for each other. It was a soft, gentle kiss. You were clueless on what to do but you followed what he was doing. He only moved his lips slightly, he was being gentle, mindful of your inexperience. He pulled back all too soon. Making you miss his lips, his warmth, his touch. He looked at you as your eyes fluttered open. He was smiling, you didn't have to look at his lips to know that, you could see it in the crinkles by his eyes. The little glint he had in his eyes told you all and nothing at the same time.

"How was that?" He asked. Magical. Heavenly. Everything you dreamed of and more. But yet all you said was, "good." You responded. "Just good? Damn, I might have to take my sex god title back." He chuckled. You blushed heavily, looking down. "No, it was great. I just- I loved it. Is it wrong I loved it?" You asked. "I loved it too." He admitted. "And I want to do it again, but I don't want to overwhelm you." He said. "What if I said I wanted to do it again?" You asked, this time trying to be a little flirty. He smiled at that. "I wouldn't be opposed." He said.

He gently placed a hand on your cheek, pulling you in and kissing you once more. Still just as soft and as gentle before. Your hands sat awkwardly in your lap, you felt awkward but loved it. At least around him you didn't feel embarrassed to be awkward. It felt welcomed, he made you feel natural and never made fun of your awkwardness. He pulled back for a moment, "here, put your hands on my shoulders," he instructed. And with shaking hands, you placed them on his shoulders. He placed his hands on your waist, kissing you again. His lips leading the way, his hands staying in their spot not daring to move lower.

He took the lead, gently leading you to lay back against the couch which you did. You wrapped your arms around his neck, doing what felt natural. He moved one hand so he could hold himself up as the other stayed on your waist. "We can stop whenever." He said softly against your lips. You nodded in response before continuing to kiss him. You felt eager, inexperienced and excited. Your stomach doing flips and your heart beating like a hummingbirds.

He chuckled softly against your lips before pulling back. You almost whimpered at the loss of contact before his lips kissed your jawline. His lips moved down to your neck, making you gasp. You weren't prepared for that, for this. You wanted to be prepared for this, you wanted to be ready. You weren't ready. "Luke- Luke-" you said, voice shaking and nerves taking over once more. Luke stopped, pulling back to look up at you. "Too much?" He asked. You nodded, breathing heavily, "I'm not ready." You answered. "That's okay, we can stop." He said. He got up off of you. Sitting on the couch as you sat up. "Luke?" You asked softly. "Yeah?" He asked. "What are we?" You looked at him, worried about his answer. "I would prefer if you were my girlfriend, but whatever you want to be is okay with me." He said. You smiled softly, "I'd be honored to be the girlfriend of a sex god." You giggled. "I'm never gonna get away from that nickname, am I?" He laughed. "Never," you giggled. He shook his head before pulling you into his arms and holding you tightly.

#5sos smut #5 seconds of summer smut #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings x you

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thelaundrybitch · 2 years

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Little Blue Hearts Update - Chapter 32

Happy Tuesday Turtle Doves 😍

And Now...

For something completely new.

This is a scene.

it's an absolute 18+ ADULTS ONLY scene.

I know there are some of my Turtle Doves out there that don't care for heavy sexual content. Just please know that it's not over the top, however it's a lot less romantic than I usually write, so please be warned.

Trigger Warning: Kidnapping, torture, and abuse mentioned. Nothing described or written in depth though.

But there is a purpose to it I promise.

18+ content - for mature audiences only!

Reblogs only, please!

Little Blue Hearts cover art by the lovely @leosgirl82

The Big Bad Wolf

~Narrative~

The oversized dungeon-looking room is dark, apart from the lights that are strung around the perimeter of the bedroom ceiling, letting off a soft red glow. Not one window can be found in the room - all the walls being made of mirrors. Directly above the bed, there is a large square mirror, the floor lined with sturdy mats you’d find in a gym.

Hanging in one corner, there is a two-person swing made specifically for pleasure. In another, there is a long metal table garnished with straps, a cart next to it full of pleasurable-pain-inducing objects. On the far wall behind the head of the bed, there is a rack holding a variety of toys. Chains, bondage cuffs, rope, a chastity belt, collars, and a drawstring bag full of gags, just to name a few.

In the center of the room stands a large metal-framed bed that looks more like a torture chamber than a bed. Four tall posts adorned with holes, hooks, and hoops; and a cage underneath the entirety of where the mattress lays. Chains hang down from the center of the square mirror on the ceiling, swaying and jerking with every buck delivered to the woman’s squelching wet pussy.

“Harder,” she grunts through gritted teeth, to the large mutant wolf behind her.

“Jesus, I’m trying to please ya, not hurt ya, cupcake,” he complains, driving his huge member in and out of her at an inhuman pace. His hands are holding her hips, right below where her leather corset ends, her creamy white skin exquisite in contrast to his dark brown fur.

"Harder, God-damn-it!" She barks at him, her short dark hair swaying and sticking to her face where sweat was beginning to collect.

"You know, maybe if you let me make love to you, instead of fucking the shit out of you, you'd actually have an enjoyable orgasm," he says.

"Nobody. Asked. For. Your. Opinion," she spits between grunts.

He lets out a deep breath and slams into her a few times before smirking as she yells in pain.

"You may think you know what you want," he growls through gritted teeth, "but I know what you really need," he says, his voice dropping a few octaves.

As fast as he had begun, he slows down his thrusting considerably, barely removing himself from her core as he adds a small circular rotation with his pelvis. He releases her hips and places one palm on the front of her lower abdomen, and pushes the heel of his hand in a downward position. With the other hand, he uses his fingers to massage gentle circles over her clit.

She gasps at the sudden intimacy of his actions.

"What are you doing?" She asks, almost sounding panicked.

"Loving you," he purrs in her ear as he begins to thrust again, much slower and at an angle, making sure his tip hits her, just the right way.

Her angered grunts turn into pleasurable whimpers as she begs him to stop.

"Fuck me, God-damn-it!" She pleads on the verge of tears.

"No. Stop being a bitch. Let me love you," he whispers, feeling the dark-haired woman start to stiffen, her lower stomach muscles tightening with each smooth thrust he delivers.

He drapes his body down over hers, letting his hand fall away from her engorged bud to hold himself above her as he feels her back arch against him and her insides tighten around his enormous member.

The woman throws her head back, gasping in ecstasy as the wolf puts his teeth on her neck and bites down just enough to give it a teasing pinch. He keeps her pulled close to him, helping her ride out her high while she explodes all over him.

He gently lays her on her stomach and kisses her neck while she tries to stifle the sound of her tears from the emotional connection he made her feel.

"I love you," he whispers in her ear, the profession being completely genuine.

"Fuck you, you asshole," she snaps with a quick sniffle, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "Get off of me. I have work to do."

The wolf gets up, hurt apparent on his handsome features, as he turns away from the woman and collects his belongings.

She pushes herself up off the bed and wipes some of his stray hairs off her corset.

"Gross. I smell like DOG, now," she says in disgust, her eye makeup and mascara melting down her face from crying. "I'm going to shower. I need to get all the YOU off of me," she spits and storms out of the room, not bothering to take any of her belongings with her that are strewn about the room from their lovers' tryst.

The wolf lets out a small whimpering whine as he redresses himself, not caring that parts of him are still damp with her essence.

Why would it matter to him? He loves her, after all.

The wolf cleans up the mess they made, changing the bed sheets, putting away the toys they used, and picking up the lingerie he stripped from her toned body.

Stopping in the laundry room, he tosses the bedding into the wash before heading to the kitchen and grabbing himself a cold bottle of water from the fridge.

He then drags himself to the living room and plops himself down on his favorite oversized chair, turns on the television to watch ESPN, and reflects on how and why his life ended up this way.

What went wrong?

Why does she treat him like this?

Why does he still love her?

He finds himself asking these questions more frequently, the answers always eluding him. He's beginning to wonder why he even stays. This is the most pertinent question that floats around the forefront of his mind. And it's the question he asks himself the most - daily, if he's being honest.

He thinks about the last mission he was sent on - to collect 'some bitch' is how it had been presented.

She was anything but.

That poor young brunette was currently in the basement, getting the brunt of all the pent-up fury the woman has held onto for so long.

Beatings.

Torture.

Experimentation.

She wasn't like this before. He knew she was a bit crazy and overbearing, but something had happened. Something that made her sanity plummet completely.

It was all their fault.

He's broken from his thoughts by the sound of the dark-haired woman's boots clicking across the hardwood floors.

"Where is she?!"

The woman is now dressed all in black leather, storming into the room with a taser in hand.

"Down in the cell room, like you asked. Boss." Sasses the overgrown wolf over his shoulder from where he's still lounging in the chair as he feigns watching television.

She walks up behind him and smacks him upside the head with the body of the bulky taser.

"Ow! What the hell?!" He gripes, rubbing the side of his head.

"You better start showing me some respect, or you're gonna find yourself neutered," she growls.

"Wouldn't that be a god-damn blessing…" he mutters after she leaves the room.

Little Blue Hearts Master list HERE

@leosgirl82 @turtle-babe83 @drowninghell @mysticboombox @chicchanmooshy @roxosupreme @raphslovemuffin80 @nittleboo @post-apocalyptic-daydream @xanadu-702 @xanadu702 @pheradream15 @mistyroselove @ashleighclark98 @jurikyu-blog @sewerninno @tmntspidergirl @raphielover @zombiesnips-blog @meowph-132 @superneko-chan @lazygirlfanfic0-0

*If you aren’t on this list, please let me know if you want me to tag you in my other work or if you prefer me to not tag you 😘

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wp-blaze · 12 hours

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“Navigating Canada’s Student Visa Process: A Comprehensive Guide”

Embarking on a journey to study abroad is an exciting yet intricate process, and for those considering Canada as their educational destination, understanding the intricacies of obtaining a student visa is paramount. This guide aims to provide a comprehensive overview of the steps involved in acquiring a Canadian student visa, also known as a study […]

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dangerousstrawberryshark · 3 years

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Just Accept it! (READ THE DAMN DISCLAIMER!)

A/N: Hello, my 🍓Little Strawberries🍓! I'm back with another fic for you! Couldn't find a better pic

Pairing: Yandere Henry Cavill x Trans male reader; Tyler Hoechlin x trans male reader. (mentioned)

Rating: MATURE

Warnings: Male Pregnancy, use of drugs, kidnapping, no consent. (what you expect? This yandere)

Word count: 3560

Summary: It started out with acting, then it went to stalking, and it went to him kidnapping you. And it ended with you spending the rest of your life with him.

I hope you enjoy this! Sorry if it's bad! And sorry for any errors that are found!

If you like what I write, how about check out my masterlist?

Keys:

E/c: Eye color

H/c: Hair Color

H/l: Hair length

S/c: Skin color

Y/a: Your age. (Pick an appropriate age)

DISCLAIMER!: THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING TRANS MALE READER. I'M SORRY IF ANYTHING OFFENDS ANYONE.

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DISCLAIMER: I MEAN NO OFFENSE, DISRESPECT, OR HARM TO ANY OF THESE CELEBRITIES! THIS IS JUST FICTION.

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MINORS DNI. FEMALE READERS… I’LL ALLOW YOU TO READ MY FICS BUT DO NOT FETISHIZE ANY OF MY STORIES

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Henry was currently waiting for this someone to come. 'I wonder who it could be.' he thought to myself. We were going to start acting in the new TV show, Superman & Lois.

(Okay, I know that Tyler stars in this, but I'm just going to switch him out with Henry and play as Lois. You can change the name)

He then sees some guy, who looks small and innocent. You had h/l and beautiful, most dazzling e/c. His s/c looked smooth and soft like a freshly made bed. (?)

He looked to be Y/a. You looked so ethereal, a walking sex god. The source of men's sexual desire. He was so sexy and hot- 'Wait- what am I thinking? I'm not gay- I have a beautiful girlfriend, I need to stop thinking like this.'

Henry sees you approach me. "Hi! I'm assuming your Henry right?" you questioned, tilting your head. "Y-yeah- I'm Henry! N-nice to m-meet you!" Henry sturred over my words.

'Shit, why am I nervous around him? What is he doing to me?' Henry then heard a little chuckle. 'His laugh- AAGGHH!'

"Well, nice to meet you, Henry, I'm M/N!" you gave your hand out, Henry hesitantly shook it. 'His hands are rough and large!' you thought.

(Sorry, but I'll be using M/N.)

'His hands are so soft, like a baby's skin! I just wanna hold it forever-' Henry said to himself before pulling back. He didn't realize he had a rough grip on your hand.

"Ah- sorry about that," Henry said scratching his head out of embarrassment. "It's okay!" you gave your famous smile. Henry blushed.

'Why is this happening?! What is he doing to me!' Henry's mind was going all over the place, he was having a gay panic. 'What's wrong with this guy? I thought he was supposed to be calm and collected?'

You had no idea what was going on with him. "Well- I gotta go..." you said, backing away slowly before going to someone and starting a conversation with them. Hoping it won't be as awkward or weird

Henry just stared as you walked. He didn't notice that his hands were twitching. You could feel his stare piercing through your head. Such a dark and dominant stare.

'Maybe, he's just staring at something that so happens to be in my direction!' you said to yourself.

(No you dumb shit!)

"OKAY! Everyone, we're gonna be starting soon. Everyone to your stations and gets ready!" The director yelled. "Take M/N and Henry to their dressing rooms."

"Okay, sir. Come on!" They grabbed you and Henry to get dressed and ready.

They put on Henry's iconic Superman suit and they dressed you as Lois or the male equivalent of her. You looked at Henry and blushed a little. 'If I wasn't married to my husband, I would've gone for him. But he's straight.'

You looked away so Henry wouldn't notice but he did. 'He was blushing... AT ME- STOP IT!' Henry then glared at you. You noticed his glare and looked away. He didn't mean to glare.

"Okay, everyone get to your positions! Do you two know your lines?" The director asks looking back and forth. You both nodded your heads. "Okay, go on the scene and be ready!"

Once you both got there and got in position, the director yells, "ACTION!"

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TIMESKIP (END OF THE SCENE)

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(I don't know what they be doing at the studio.)

"Hey- Uh... M/n!" Henry called out. You turned to face Henry, "Mh?" Henry looked at you trying to get the words out. "Uh... You have something to say?"

"Uh- well." Henry scratching his head. "I'm sorry... for glaring at you earlier today." He was now blushing hard while grinning.

You looked at him confused about what he was talking about. Then you remembered earlier. "Oh-, Its okay Henry! I know you didn't mean it." you smiled at him, reassuring him that it was okay.

You were about to continue, but you got a call. You looked at the caller ID. "Hubby😘" is calling, your husband was calling. "I got to take this call." you then walked away to a private location.

Henry was curious so he followed you. He knows this is eavesdropping, but he wants to know, "what was so important about a phone call?"

Apparently, he took too long but he heard this. "I love you too." Henry left before you could spot him. 'He loves someone? Why do I care if he is in love with someone?'

"I'm gonna have to go! Bye Henry!" You then left leaving Henry behind to think about what was happening.

'What are you doing to me M/n? I never felt this way before.'

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TIMESKIP (6 months)

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You and Henry have been acquaintances for 6 months. Henry's feelings for you grew and grew but there wasn't that ultimate trigger that would finally set the bomb off.

Until now and later on today. (so two ultimate triggers.)

You wrapped your arms around Clark's neck. You were shorter than, so all you saw was his muscular chest. Clark then wrapped his arms around your waist, looking into your beautiful e/c.

Alarms were going off in Henry's mind as he pulls you closer to him. 'This is actually happening.' M/n smells so nice like fresh lavenders.

Your lips then met Clarks. You tilted your head a little to the side to have better access. Though his nose was kind of in the way. You closed your eyes as you fully gave in.

'He tastes so sweet like chocolate and strawberries.' (You eating my children?) Henry was getting real intimate with the kiss.

(Was that a good kissing scene? I have never seen the TV show)

"CUT!" you pulled back before walking away to get a drink. Henry was still in a daze. Your lips were so soft and delicious, he wants more. Henry never felt like this when kissed his girlfriend.

In fact, he was getting disgusted by her touch and only wants you to touch him. Hell, sometimes you made him hard and he would imagine having sex with you while having sex with her...

He was about to approach you before he heard that... voice. "BABE!" his girlfriend... Henry then felt two arms wrapped around him and a small kiss on his lips.

Henry felt like he wanna puke. It wasn't like the kiss he had with you- even though it was just acting but it was real to him- but he had to act like he enjoyed it. "HI! You must be Henry's wife, right?"

You intervene in their conversation. "Yes, I'm Henry's wife- well girlfriend! My name is Natalie Viscuso! You must be M/n? I'm a big fan of you!"

You and Natalie kept talking and getting along. Henry was just watching, he was getting angry and jealous. After about 30 minutes, Natalie went back to Henry.

"Sorry about that, I got carried away. How about me and you have some fun when we get home?" Henry just nodded his head without giving an expression.

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TIMESKIP (5 hours later. At Henry's home)

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(I know that Henry's real-life GF/Wife is a good lady. Remember, this is fiction)

"A-ahh! H-henry... you f-feel so good! Y-your... dick is... s-so BIG!" Natalie moaned as she rode Henry's cock.

Henry didn't seem to enjoy it, not one bit. He pushed- not too hard - Natalie off of him. "Why did you stop?" she said confused, Henry was getting dressed.

Henry didn't pay attention to her and just walked out.

The next morning, the news of Henry's and Natalie's break up spread like wildfire. Nobody understood why he broke up with her, they were doing just fine.

Henry didn't feel upset. While walking around last night, he began to think how you made him feel feelings he has never felt before.

He likes how you touch him- even though you didn't mean to. He likes your soft lips- even though you two were acting. He feels disgusted whenever he was with Natalie. Angry and jealousy surge through his veins whenever you talked with someone that wasn't him.

Henry now accepted that he likes you.

When you got the news of them breaking up, you were shocked. "Henry are you okay? I heard you and Natalie broke up," you asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Henry replied, nonchalantly. "You don't seem upset about it..." Henry just stared at you with his deep, dark eyes. 'What's wrong with him?'

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TIMESKIP (3 MONTHS)

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You've been waiting months to tell Henry something very important. You were nervous, scared, and... paranoid.

During the 3 months of waiting, you feel like you were being watched. Wherever you gom even in your own room.

You told Henry about it -since he was a close friend- and he told you not to worry about it saying, "You're just paranoid, it something you shouldn't worry about."

But you still kept your guard up. You made to look around and if you see someone looking suspicious. But tomorrow, you were going to come out to him.

You arrived at a... Dunkin Donuts (?) and ordered some donuts and coffee and took a seat by the window. You looked out to see some people walking by. There was a car that had black tinted windows, you couldn't see who was inside.

You pulled your phone to text Henry to come and talk with him. But that wasn't necessary, Henry walked and turned in your direction. "Hey, M/n!"

'How did he know I was here? Or was it a coincidence?' you thought. Then you felt a rough hand on your shoulder. "Mind if I sit here?" you shake your head.

Henry took his seat and ordered some food and coffee. 'It's too crowded here.' While seating there, you could feel stares and glances. You just ignored them.

Henry stared at you with love in his eyes, taking in all your features. Then he notices something on your finger, 'Is that a ring? IS HE ENGAGED? Or..... is he MARRIED!'

Rage was running through his veins but he had to calm himself down or you'll notice.

You had enough of his staring and break the silence. "I need to tell you something but it can't be here." that snapped Henry out of his daze. "What do you need to about?"

"It's something personal and it can't be here." You said getting up, and stressing your muscles, and heading out the door. Henry nodded his head before getting up and following you out.

As you two were walking, just taking in the fresh air and sounds of cars driving by. "So, what did you want to talk about?" Henry turned to you.

"Well... I hope you don't look at me differently..." you said looking down at the ground. "I'll never look at you differently bab- M/n."

You took a deep breath. "I'm trans..." you said quietly but Henry still heard you. "Oh... just because you're trans doesn't change what I see in you. You're still a man," Henry said putting his hand on your shoulder.

You smiled at him before jumping onto him. Henry wrapped his arms around you. He wanted to stay like this forever, you just in his arms feeling your warm, heat against him.

But sadly, you pulled away. "Thank you! Thank you!" you're glad Henry accepted you.

But Henry knew you were trans. Remember how you feel like you were being watched? Well, that was all Henry, he would watch you play with yourself. He would masturbate to this, he was quite turned on about this discovery.

'I'll accept whoever you are baby.'

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TIMESKIP (1 week)

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It's been one week since the whole coming out thing and Henry was gathering the confidence to ask you out. But today is the day.

Henry got a text saying, "Meet me at the park." so naturally he did. He didn't spot you at first until he recognizes your h/c. Then it's at that time he notices someone else there.

This bastard had his arms wrapped around you, and he gave small kisses on your lips. Henry's right eye twitched as he watched the display right in front of him.

'Who the hell is he?!? Is HE the one that M/n married?' he snapped out of it when you called his name to come over.

"I'm glad you came Henry! This is my husband, Tyler Hoechlin. Tyler, this is Henry, one of my friends!" you said with a smile. 'So, that means his name is M/n Hoechlin.'

Tyler gave his hand out and Henry shook it. Henry had a rough grip on his hand, squeezing it. And he just glared at him. "Well, let's go!"

Henry just glared at Tyler the whole time. 'M/N should ONLY have my last name! I should be the one with him!' Tyler notices how Henry was glaring at him the whole time. But he wasn't fazed by it.

'I'm gonna find a way to get rid of you! Or I could just take M/n?'

«⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕��⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕»

TIMESKIP (3 DAYS)

«⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕»

It had been 3 days since Henry met your husband, and he wasn't happy at all. Today he wants to hang out with you, and talk about something. Henry called your phone and waited for you to pick it up.

Meanwhile... (This is my first shot at writing smut with TMR.)

"A-ahh! d-daddy... your c-cock... is so... b-big!" you moaned as rode Tyler like your life depended on it. "Fuck, you're so wet and warm for me, M/n. Your tight little pussy feels amazing!" Tyler groaned as he thrust further into you.

Tyler sees that your phone is vibrating, 'Henry?' Tyler smirked, he knew that Henry was glaring at him with hate and stared at you with love. 'This will teach him who my baby boy belongs to.'

"Be a good boy for daddy and answer the phone." Tyler handed you the phone, you took a look at the caller and noticed it was Henry calling. "D-daddy... I-i can't do... it with y-you- thrusting... i-into me!"

Tyler stopped his thrusts but as you answered his call, he thrust right back into you. "A-ah!"

"Hey, M/n! Are you okay?" Henry questioned. "Y-yeah... I'm okay..." Tyler stopped thrusting, you could his cock pulsing and twitching inside you.

"You're little pussy is wet for me. You like it when I rub you here?" Tyler then began to rub your small dick. You tried to not moan out loud.

But Henry could tell, that you were moaning. And he was angry and just hanged up. "H-hello?... I think he... h-hung up." "Now, I can fuck you!" And he went back to banging you.

«⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕»

TIMESKIP (5 DAYS)

«⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕»

5 days after the little event, Henry hasn't called you. You tried calling him and seeing what's wrong, but he never answered.

Tyler kept telling you to not worry about him. Meanwhile, Henry was just in his room masturbating to a picture of yours and mutters, "You belong to me... Tyler and your's relationship is fake! We kissed, we held each other, and so many other things."

The acting seems to make Henry delusional, cause he believed it was all real and that you meant it. He has to find a way to make you his and he just how to do it.

There was a party coming up. You and Tyler would both be attending.

You and Tyler both arrived at the party. People were drinking, dancing, and doing other weird things. "I'm gonna go get a drink." Tyler nodded his head.

He went over to a table and sat down. Tyler wasn't the type to get a drink. Meanwhile, Henry kept his eyes on you. 'This is going to be a fun night!' You thought.

But this will turn out to be the worst night you'll ever have.

Had a few drinks, you were trying to find Tyler in the crowd but couldn't find him. You didn't feel the vibration in your phone, "I'll be waiting for you in the car."

As you were walking around, you felt yourself being pushed up against a wall. "Oh... *HIc* T-Tyler... I didn't *Hic* know you could be *Hic* this rough."

Henry pinned you against the wall and crash his lips against yours. Sweet but tasted like alcohol. 'Since when did Tyler become all muscular' Then you felt a needle pierce through your neck and injecting you with some kind of drug.

«⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕»

TIMESKIP (After the party.)

«⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕»

You woke up with a massive headache. Your mind is still blurry but after a few moments later you could see properly. You noticed a cup of water and headache pills by it. You took it.

Then, you realized, this isn't your room and that you were wearing a bunny outfit! 'What the fuck? Where am I?!' Then you began to feel hot and needy.

Your pussy was leaking and clenching around nothing. Your small dick was aching to be touched. "Is my little bunny awake?" A deep husky voice said.

You turned in its direction to notice that it was Henry?! But your mind was getting clouded with lust and want. "H-Henry...?"

"Shh, baby. Daddies here." Henry said getting closer to you and pulling you to his lap. Your hands were now on his shirtless chest, feeling his hairy pecs.

"Where's... T-Tyler?" you questioned, bad mistake. Henry smacked one of your cheeks. "DON'T EVER MENTION HIS NAME! YOU BELONG TO ME! FORGET ABOUT HIM!"

You were getting turned on. It must be the drug he gave you, cause you don't like it someone yells at you. "You're leaking so much slick? You want daddy to help you?"

Before you could respond, Henry pushed you down onto the couch and you could feel his meaty cock at your front entrance. "Your little pussy is leaking so much, you don't know how much you turn me on."

Henry lubes his cock with your slick before pushing in. "F-fuck! You're so tight! I guess Tyler didn't fuck you that good." Henry groaned as he pushed all the way in you.

He let you adjust a little before thrusting back into you. "You're so wet, tight, and warm. Better than my ex!" Henry groaned as he feels you tightening around him.

His hand then went down to stroke your cock. "A-ah!" you moaned as you tried to turn your face away. "You're close? Me too!" you could feel Henry thrust into your womb.

He was hitting your pleasure spot tip-on. "M-mmhh!" Your body clenched before convulsing beneath him. Your muscles twitched around his cock.

"Fuck, you came! I'm close! You'll look so beautiful swollen with my kids. The thought of spending the rest of my life with you just makes me wanna cum!"

You could feel his cock burst inside you. Feeling you up with his cum. "Get pregnant from this!" He stayed inside you before collapsing onto your smaller body.

He was leaving love marks. "You belong to me now, M/n..."

«⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕»

TIMESKIP (DECADE LATER)

«⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕»

It has been a decade since you were taken away. A decade being with a monster- who you looked up to before. He had taken you away from others.

You were in the kitchen cooking some waiting for him to come home. "PAPA! When is daddy coming home?" your oldest child said playing with his lego spaceship.

"He'll be home soon. How about go play with your siblings?" they nodded their head before heading to their room. You gave birth to Henry's children, when you had O/C/N, you promised that you'll take them far away from this monster.

You looked at the ring. It was no longer Tyler's ring but Henry's. Just as you said Henry, two strong muscular arms wrapped around your waist.

"How is my beautiful husband doing?" you tried pushing him away but it didn't work.

"Just accept it, M/n. You'll never escape me, and you don't want anything bad to happen to your- no- OUR kids? Right?" tears began to pour out your eyes.

"No. Please don't hurt them... they're just kids, they did nothing wrong." you cried trying to not alarm them.

"Then just accept your fate. You've been resisting for 10 years, it's no use. No one will ever find you." Henry whispered into your ear.

"Just accept it."

THE END

«⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕»

A/N: I hope this was good! I'm sorry if anything is incorrect. Do you like my new format? Anyways, bye my 🍓Little Strawberries🍓!

#x trans male reader #trans male reader #x male reader #male reader #henry cavill x male reader #yandere henry cavill x trans male reader #henry cavill x trans male reader #henry cavill imagine #yandere henry cavill x male reader #yandere henry cavill imagine #yandere henry cavill #male pregnancy #I'm sorry of this offends anyone

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pingutats · 3 years

Note

could you write a really fluffy bit on harry kissing every single self harm scar on your body? like, stroking them and cuddling with you and reassuring you that your body is beautiful and okay even with scars? 🥺

thank you for requesting this! this was genuinely quite therapeutic to write so i’m glad i did it — it’s longer than i meant it to be at about 2.4k words, but anyway. here’s a difficult conversation with new boyfriend!harry.

major trigger warning for discussions of self-harm and scars. this is not a story for everyone, and could definitely be triggering if you are not in the right headspace. please be responsible and look after yourselves <3

this is also pretty unedited so forgive any mistakes. okay!! onwards!

It’s getting late when Harry asks you, ‘Do you want to spend the night?’

The meandering film you found on Netflix is drawing to a close, finally. The characters are on a boat, drifting away into an Italian sunset. You barely have a grasp of how they got there — mostly, you just listened to Harry talk over the dialogue about a pretty little café he knows just around the corner from where this scene was filmed, or how cool the water gets at night there and so the actors must have been shivering. All of it wrapped up, of course, in a quiet suggestion to take you there someday so you can see for yourself. You get a little thrill every time he says something like that. It means he’s thinking of a future with you, which means he wants one, even though it’s only been just over a month since you’ve been seeing each other.

He trails his fingers up and down your arm, bringing up goosebumps beneath your sleeve, and looks at you. ‘Or I can drive you home, if you’d rather sleep in your own bed.’

You hum. ‘No,’ you say. ‘I’ll stay. I’d probably end up falling asleep in the car anyway. I’m so tired.’

His dimple appears. ‘Good, because I’d probably fall asleep at the wheel.’ He grabs the remote and turns the TV off, then pushes himself off the couch with a groan. He holds his hand out for you. ’C’mon, then.’

You grab his hand and he hauls you up, his other arm coming up to your back to pull you into his chest. You fall against him, grabbing his biceps to steady yourself. The two glasses of wine you’ve had tonight have thrown your balance off. He presses a kiss to your hair as you giggle. Then he brings his hand up to your jaw to tilt your head up to look at him properly. You nearly melt at his green eyes.

‘Hey,’ he says. ‘I can sleep on the couch.’ His gaze is completely sincere.

You haven’t slept together before, both in the literal and figurative senses. You haven’t had sex with anybody at all, actually, and Harry seems to have picked up on your hesitancy. He’s never asked for anything. He lets everything stay on your terms.

That’s what makes you trust him.

‘You don’t have to do that,’ you tell him.

He holds your gaze for a moment longer, just to make sure. ’Right,’ he says, breaking into a smile.

He finds a new toothbrush in his cupboard for you, and you brush your teeth together. It feels like a big step to do these nighttime rituals with him. It’s so domestic. He shares his cleanser with you and offers his moisturiser that smells like vanilla. You imagine spending every night like this.

As he leads the way back into his bedroom, he pulls his shirt off. ‘I get hot at night. D’you mind?’

You giggle — you can’t help yourself, at the sight of his muscled torso with all of its tattoos. He’s so handsome. ‘Not at all,’ you tell him.

He throws the shirt into a hamper in the corner, and the birds on his chest seem to fly with the movement of his shoulder, then looks back to catch you ogling him. He chuckles, and the sight of his dimples gives you butterflies.

‘You like?’ he asks.

You narrow your eyes. ’Are you flexing?’

He relaxes. ‘Yeah, a bit. Just wanna impress you.’

You snort at that. ‘Like you need to do anything to impress me.’

He grins. ‘D’you want something more comfortable to sleep in?’ He rummages around in his drawer for a moment, then pulls out a t-shirt and holds it up for you. It has an incredibly faded image of Flinstones characters on the front. ‘How’s this?’ he asks.

You smile at his courtesy. ’Perfect. I love your t-shirt collection, by the way. Where the hell do you find things like this?’

‘Oh, you know… Here and there.’ He tosses it to you.

You catch it with some semblance of grace — you’re proud of yourself for that. ‘Thanks.’ You glance at the bathroom door. ‘Alright. I’ll just… get changed in here,’ you say, slipping through the ajar door.

‘Alright, love.’

You shut the door, and realise you’ve forgotten to turn the light on, leaving you in pitch-black. You grope against the wall for the switch and turn it on, and take a deep breath. Why are you so nervous, so frazzled? It’s just Harry. You shimmy out of your leggings, then pull your sweater over your head.

You look at your reflection. Well. There’s a problem. It’s easy for you to forget when you’re alone, or wrapped up in layers of clothing — it’s just a part of your body now. Artefacts from a different time, years ago. Even the memory of how you got them — how you gave them to yourself — is slipping away, thank God. It’s all a haze. These scars were carved by a girl that you don’t see much anymore. They aren’t really a painful reminder anymore, just a fact of life. You know they're there. The problem is, no one else expects it.

You stare down at your wrists, seeing the lines that never faded. Maybe if they were all like the thin white lines, barely visible until you look closely, you wouldn’t mind. You’re going to sleep, anyway, and it’s not like he’s inspecting your forearms. No, it’s the three darker ones, hard twisting scar tissue that you can feel even through sleeves. Times where you went just a little too deep, were a little too reckless. The ones you regret the most. They’re big, and ugly, and too obvious. He’d notice them right away.

But he gave you his t-shirt.

You look at your reflection in the mirror, furrowing your brows. You adjust your pose, twisting your arms around so the inside of your wrists are hidden, facing behind you. You look ridiculous. You know, as soon as you see Harry, you’ll reach for him, and he’ll see.

Would that be so bad?

You look down at your arms again. It’s been years, and they’re still there. They’ll probably be there forever. They’re as permanent as the tattoos on his skin — except those are beautiful, and what you have is not. You can’t show this to him. The world where these scars exist, and the world where he exists, should never cross over. It wouldn’t be right.

You pull your long-sleeve back on, covering them again. Then you put the t-shirt, which is long enough to be modest on you. This is fine, right? It’s better than any alternative, at least.

You leave the bathroom holding your folded sweats up to your chest, nervous now realising that you are standing in front of Harry in just your underwear, more naked than you ever have been in front of him.

He’s checking something on his phone as he sits on the bed, back against the headboard and long legs stretching down the covers, but he brightens up at the sight of you. His gaze drops to your legs — which makes your cheeks burn, but his boyishly excited expression dissolves your nerves — then rises up again to your shirt. He frowns at the long-sleeve.

‘Are you cold?’ he asks. ‘I thought it was pretty warm but I can turn the heat up if you need.’

You shake your head, dropping your sweats on the floor beside the dresser. ’No, it’s fine.’

He sits up straighter, swinging his legs over the side so his feet rest on the ground. ’Can’t be comfortable to sleep like that.’ He hesitates. ‘You didn’t have to wear the t-shirt if you don’t want to.’

‘No, I want to. I do.’ You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to figure out how to navigate this situation in a way that won’t end in him being annoyed or disgusted. ‘It’s just…’ You trail off, but one glance at his frown, at the way he leans forward and hangs on every word, makes your resolve crumble. You’ll have to have this conversation at one point or another. ‘Okay. Shit, Harry, can I talk to you about something?’

The way he answers immediately makes you want to cry. ‘Yeah, of course. Anything.’ He sits up straighter, pats the covers next to him, inviting you to sit down.

You sigh and cross the room to sit next to him, not daring to meet his eyes. How the hell do you explain this?

He moves his arm behind you once you’re sitting. Not touching you, but enough so he’s close. ‘What’s wrong?’ he prompts. ‘Do you need me to drive you home instead? Because I didn’t—’

‘No,’ you interrupt. ‘It’s fine. It’s just, I kinda…’ You take a deep breath. ‘Okay, please don’t freak out?’

He frowns. His next words are measured. ‘I’ll try not to. Is everything okay?’

‘Yeah,’ you whisper. It feels like the greatest effort in the world, but you curl your fingers around the end of your sleeve and pull it up, revealing your wrists. ‘So, I have these…’ Your voice shakes.

‘Oh, baby,’ Harry says quietly, and that’s all you need to hear. His arm behind you reaches around and pulls you into his chest, hugging you close to him. His thumb rubs circles into your shoulder as you sniffle, his other hand resting on top of yours.

‘It’s in the past, you know,’ you say, muffled into his shoulder. He smells good, you notice. Not that it’s really important right now, but you appreciate it all the same. ‘Not a big deal. Just didn’t want to scare you or anything. ’S embarrassing.’

‘Listen to me,’ he says, pulling back and holding your face in his hands. He waits until you manage to look him in his eyes. They’re watery, you realise, and that might be the most painful thing about this night. ’It’s not embarrassing, alright? I don’t want you to feel like that. They’re part of you, and I really like you, every part.’ He smiles. ‘I really do, you know.’

You sniff, wiping at your cheek with your fingertips, trying to calm your tears. Suddenly all your fears seem ridiculous. Did you really expect him to turn you away, disgusted? Ask to never see you again? You knuckle at your eyes. ‘Okay. I’m sorry.’

‘Hey.’ He springs from the bed to grab the tissue box from the dresser and brings it to you, pulling out a tissue and dabbing under your eyes himself. He’s so gentle. ‘You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry, that you were worried to show me.’

You chuckle, grabbing a tissue from the box and blowing your nose. What more can you say to him? He’s so wonderful to you. It’s early days still, and you’re wary of moving too fast and coming on too strong. You aren’t experienced with relationships in the same way that you know he is. But you love him. You’re sure of it. You’ll tell him, one day. Soon.

‘You don’t need to wear my shirt if you don’t want to,’ he repeats once you’re calmer.

‘I’ll wear it.’ And to show him, in your sudden burst of confidence, you undress right next to him, taking off both layers and then putting the only t-shirt back on. You turn to him, and giggle. He’s turned his head away. ‘You can look,’ you tell him, nudging his knee with yours.

He looks back with a sheepish smile. ‘Didn’t want to be a creep.’ He scoots backwards onto the bed, settling his back against the headboard. ‘C’mere.’

You crawl over to him, settling with your back against his chest, sitting between his legs. His arms wrap around your middle, anchoring you to him. He presses kisses to your neck, the scruff on his cheeks tickling you. You curl up, twisting your neck away, giggling.

‘Harry!’

‘Sorry, love.’ His hands relax, and find your own. He rests his chin over your shoulder, and gently turns your palms upwards, so your wrists are visible to him.

You shiver, but allow it. You feel this is important. You don’t want to hide with him.

‘Y/N…’ he says quietly. You feel his chest push against your back as it expands with a breath. ‘Am I… am I allowed to touch them?’ he asks.

You’re surprised. You thought he would want to avoid them. You nod, then, realising he can’t really see you, you add, ‘Yeah.’

Your fingers are tense. You can’t help it. His thumb presses into your palm, massaging the tension away. He pulls the back of your hand to his lips and brings it back to your lap.

You close your eyes.

When he finds the first hard lump of scarring with his thumb, he pauses. He takes a shaky breath, then he runs his thumb up and down the length of it.

‘Y/N,’ he says softly.

You squeeze your eyes shut tighter. ‘Mm?’

‘You’re beautiful, you know.’ He pulls your hand back up to his lips, but instead he kisses the biggest scar on your wrist. ‘No matter what. You are.’

‘Harry,’ you whisper, because you don’t know what to say.

He kisses the scar again, then trails his lips up your wrist, covering them all. ‘I don’t want you to be ashamed of anything. You survived. That’s a wonderful thing.’ He drops your hand and cups your jaw, turning your head towards his. He leans around your shoulder to face you properly. ’I’m so fucking proud of you, you know?’

You never were good at taking compliments, so you just cross the distance between the two of you and kiss him.

When you’re lying together in the dark a little while later, with his arm thrown over you protectively and his soft breaths hitting your neck where his t-shirt doesn’t cover, you feel safe. Your arms are bare, you’re with another person, and you feel safe in this situation for the first time in years. It’s a wonderful feeling. All because of Harry.

You can’t wait to wake up in the morning and see his face again.

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #fic #self harm tw

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fireladybuckley · 3 years

Text

It Isn’t in my Blood

Fandom: 9-1-1 Prompt: Inspired by @kitkatpancakestack‘s “what if Buck finds the pamphlet“ post Pairing: Implied future Buddie - Evan Buckley (Buck) x Eddie Diaz Word Count: 2,330 Summary: SPOILERS - A 5x01 missing scene - Buck finds the pamphlet on anxiety and panic attacks given to him by the cardiologist at the hospital and encourages Eddie to tell him what happened. Eddie breaks down and admits that maybe not everything is okay.

Beta’d by @firemedicdiaz Thank you babe <3

Read it on Ao3

“I’ll just be a minute, you staying here?” Eddie asked, hopping out of the truck and looking over at Buck.

“Sure, sounds good,” Buck said, yawning. Eddie nodded and closed the door, hurrying up the sidewalk as Buck settled back in his seat. It had been such a long, chaotic shift and Buck was exhausted; Eddie just had to drop off a form at Christopher’s school and then they were going for breakfast. Buck figured he had time for a short nap and shut his eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come.

After a while it became apparent that Eddie was going to be longer than he’d said, and Buck was getting restless. He grew bored quite easily of late, so he began poking around Eddie’s truck - changing the radio station, fiddling with the air freshener. Absently, Buck hit the button on the dashboard that opened the glove box in front of him and looked down into it, wondering if there were any travel brochures left in there from a previous road trip that he could look at. Instead, he pulled out a very different kind of pamphlet that looked like it had been shoved in carelessly and as he read the front, his eyebrows contracted with a small frown.

Understanding Anxiety and Panic Attacks - Recognize the Signs and Symptoms

Underneath the pamphlet were a couple of folded sheets of paper. Upon quick inspection, Buck saw that they were discharge papers from the hospital dated a few days earlier with Eddie’s name in the patient field.

Buck’s heart squeezed painfully as he stared at the slightly crumpled papers and then back at the pamphlet, realizing what it must all mean. Buck had been startled earlier in the shift when that doctor had called out to Eddie, but Eddie had been very resistant to talking about his trip to the hospital. Buck had dropped it for the time being as they had been chaotically busy the entire shift, but he had always intended to grill Eddie about it later. Now, he suddenly understood what must have happened. He knew from experience how scary panic attacks could be, how they could feel like a heart attack, especially if a person had never had one before.

He remembered how uncomfortable Eddie had looked when Buck had tried to confront him. Buck knew how much Eddie relied on everyone thinking he was this stoic, unmoving rock, because it allowed him to hide his feelings and keep everything bottled up. Buck was well aware that he himself and Bobby were the only two people that Eddie ever opened up to, and it made Buck’s heart hurt as he considered how shaken up Eddie must have been by the whole incident to be so resistant to telling him about it.

Buck sighed, wishing he had known, thinking about how he could try to help Eddie as he skimmed the pamphlet. He wanted to help, hating the idea that Eddie could be going through this alone. He distinctly remembered how Eddie had tried to drag Buck out of his horrible depression and anxiety after the fire truck had crushed his leg and he wanted to be there for Eddie in turn. Buck knew that Eddie had Ana, but if Buck was right about their relationship, he suspected that Eddie would be uncomfortable talking to her about his emotions. He’d always had the feeling that while Eddie clearly liked Ana and they got along well, their relationship wasn’t particularly deep and Buck knew that Eddie had to really trust someone before he would open up.

Lost in his thoughts, Buck was still looking at the pamphlet in one hand, the discharge papers held loosely in the other, when Eddie returned.

“Alright, that’s all done, let’s go t-- Buck, what the hell?”

Buck jumped as the driver’s door opened and Eddie swung himself inside, only to freeze when he saw what Buck was holding and reading through. Buck started to stammer as Eddie snatched the papers and pamphlet out of his hands and threw them back into the glove box, snapping it shut and staring straight ahead, his chest rising and falling quickly, his jaw set.

“Eddie, I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to snoop, I just found that in the glove box and I couldn’t help looking at it…”

“It’s fine. It’s nothing.” Eddie’s voice was clipped, and Buck could tell he felt vulnerable and was not pleased about it.

“I mean, it’s not nothing,” Buck replied cautiously in a coaxing tone. He hadn’t been planning on talking to Eddie about this before breakfast, but then there was no time like the present. “Is this why you were in the hospital the other day?”

Eddie shot him an annoyed look, because it was obvious that Buck had seen the discharge papers so the question was redundant, but then he sighed and nodded.

“Yeah. I’m fine though.”

“Eddie… you’ve been through so much. There’s no shame in having a panic attack--” Buck began, but Eddie started the truck and cut through his words sharply.

“I don’t panic.”

Buck frowned as Eddie pulled away from the curb and began to drive without saying another word. Deciding to give him some space for a few so he could collect his thoughts, Buck stayed silent as they moved through the streets. To his surprise, Eddie pulled up in front of Buck’s apartment building and parked, still looking straight ahead.

“I… thought we were going for breakfast?” Buck asked slowly, not sure what to expect. Eddie seemed to steel himself, then glanced towards the building and shut off the truck.

“I know you’re not going to let this go, and I don’t want to do it in public. Let’s go up to your loft.”

Eddie’s voice was gruff, but Buck was grimly pleased that he wasn’t resisting. Buck knew that Eddie knew Buck would not let this slide, would not let it rest until he was sure that Eddie was okay. Taking his lead, Buck agreed and hopped out of the truck, following Eddie up to his building and then leading the way into his apartment.

“Let’s get this over with,” Eddie said in a resigned voice as he moved into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, Buck pulling himself up and sitting on the counter across from him. “What do you want to know?”

“What happened?” Buck asked simply. “I know you went to the hospital, you were seen by a cardiologist, and now you have a pamphlet on panic attacks. What actually happened?”

Eddie gnawed the inside of his lip, still refusing to look at Buck as he mulled over what to say. He was staring at the lower part of the counter in front of him, Buck’s shoe dangling in his line of sight, though he wasn’t seeing much. All he could see in his mind was that damn suit store, the feeling of the tightness in his chest making him feel claustrophobic and deeply uncomfortable.

“I don’t know. We were trying on suits, and then I just… collapsed. I thought I was having a heart attack,” Eddie summarized it as succinctly as he could, but he knew it wasn’t going to be enough for Buck.

“Okay, but what triggered that?” Buck asked, his voice gently prodding. “Did something upset you, or…?”

Eddie shifted uncomfortably, and Buck’s lips curled in a small, sad smile.

“Eddie, it’s just me. You can talk to me. You know you can trust me. Please tell me what happened.”

For a brief moment, Eddie lifted his eyes and met Buck’s gaze. Buck’s expression was earnest, concerned, and Eddie knew he was right. If there was anyone in this world he could trust, it was Buck. Still, he hated talking about his emotions, especially ones he felt like he couldn’t control. And yet, he felt like if he didn’t share it with someone he may explode because he was starting to seriously wonder what was going on in his brain.

“I… you know I’m not good at this,” Eddie muttered, and Buck nodded.

“I know, but… you were there for me when everything with my parents was going on. You told me it was okay to feel what I was feeling, and to share it. I want that for you, too,” Buck told him gently, and Eddie sighed. He felt like a hypocrite; he had told Buck those things, and he had meant it. But for some reason when it came to himself, he had different rules.

“The last time Chris and I wore suits was at Shannon’s funeral,” Eddie said, averting his gaze once more as he began to speak. “I guess that was already putting me on edge. I couldn’t stop thinking about her death and everything that had happened right before she died. I just wanted to get out of there.”

Eddie paused but Buck didn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt. Buck had a feeling that if Eddie stopped talking he wouldn’t start again so he waited patiently, keeping his mouth shut.

“I think Chris was feeling it, too, but I was too distracted to notice. And then… then the sales guy called Ana Chris’s mom.”

Buck tilted his head to the side, looking over at Eddie, slightly confused. Eddie and Ana had been together for nearly six months, it was only natural that at some point she would be mistaken for Chris’s mom. But Eddie seemed shaken and Buck wasn’t sure he was going to continue.

“What happened then?” Buck asked quietly, trying to gently prompt Eddie to speak again without spooking him. Eddie had gotten a somewhat haunted look in his eyes and Buck could tell he was getting upset. He was tempted to tell Eddie to stop, not wanting him to be distraught, but he sensed Eddie really needed to get it out there, so Buck would do everything he could to coax it out.

“I- I genuinely don’t know,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “Hearing that, it just… it intensified my thoughts about Shannon, and thinking of Ana as Chris’s mom is just - just so far beyond where we are in our relationship, and I- I…”

Eddie was starting to get visibly upset and Buck slipped off the counter, moving over to stand beside him in case he needed support.

“It made me realize that m-maybe I don’t want-- maybe things aren’t going so great, or something. I don’t know.”

“And then?” Buck prompted gently, feeling his heart break as Eddie glanced at him, clearly upset.

“And then… I don’t know. I don’t panic,” Eddie said stubbornly, though as he thought back to what had happened, he let out a long, unhappy sigh. “But… I guess I panicked. I don’t know. I felt overwhelmed, and my chest got tight and I couldn’t breathe… I got really dizzy and fell over, I thought I was having a heart attack.”

“Panic attacks can be really scary,” Buck told him, trying to reassure him. “They can definitely feel like heart attacks.”

“I don’t panic,” Eddie repeated, scowling at the floor. “I never panic. Not in the military, not when Shannon died, not when you nearly died several times…”

“Eddie, you’ve been through a lot,” Buck reasoned, trying to brush off the last part of the sentence, as though it wasn’t a big deal to him that his near-death experiences were one of the things Eddie considered most upsetting. “Do you think the shooting could be part of this? Or is it just your relationship?”

Eddie shifted uncomfortably again, not responding, and as Buck watched him, he saw tears start to pool in Eddie’s eyes, despite Eddie continually refusing to make eye contact.

“Are you okay?” Buck asked quietly, reaching out and touching him, gripping Eddie’s forearm lightly in a gesture of support. This one little touch seemed to have caused him to come undone, however, and Buck saw his expression contort, his lips pressed together tightly as he tried and failed to stop himself crying.

“No,” Eddie finally blurted out, seemingly completely against his will. “No, I’m not okay.”

Buck’s heart broke and he immediately reached out to embrace Eddie, giving him a chance to pull away if he wanted. When he didn’t, Buck wrapped his arms around him and held him as Eddie choked into his shoulder, trying desperately to stop himself from outright sobbing. It was rare that Buck had seen Eddie cry - he hadn’t seen it since Shannon’s death - and Buck wished he could take Eddie’s pain away, wished he could make the world right for him again.

After a few moments Eddie squirmed in his arms and Buck got the message that he was uncomfortable so he pulled away, but he didn’t go far. Eddie seemed determined to not meet his gaze, furiously wiping at his eyes, and Buck gently rubbed his back, sensing that he really wanted comfort but was trying to stop himself from allowing it. They stood like that for a while, until Eddie’s attempts at stopping his tears dissolved and he took a shaky breath, letting them slip down his cheeks as he pulled himself together.

“It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. You’re going to get through this,” Buck told him, his hand stilling in the middle of Eddie’s back. “And I’m gonna help you get through it, if that’s what you want.”

Eddie swallowed, sniffing, as he listened to Buck speak. He’d always gone through things alone. He’d always thought that was the best way to do it. But in that moment, standing there, knowing he had Buck’s full love and support behind him, Eddie started to wonder if maybe having Buck at his side would be a much better option than going it alone. Eddie nodded slowly, glancing at Buck for a moment before looking away, nodding again.

“Yeah,” Eddie took a shaky breath and looked over at Buck, feeling the tiniest flicker of hope in his heart. “That’s what I want.”

-----------

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ljf613 · 3 years

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Zuko’s Memory Bias

I’ve talked about Azula’s potential memory bias towards her mother. In that same thread, I mentioned that Zuko also has memory bias towards his parents. What I didn’t think about until I was writing my recent post on his relationship with Azula is how those same biases may have affected the way he perceives her.

(Warning: This is a very complex topic, and I suggest not reading/engaging if you find it potentially triggering or are unable to deal with it in a nuanced way. I am NOT trying to downplay abuse, nor am I trying to gaslight those who’ve been victimized by it.)

Azula the Liar

In “Zuko Alone,” we get a good sense of what Zuko’s life was like as a child. We see him interacting with his mother, sister, and (briefly) his father. And we get some insight into a line from “The Avatar State.”

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “The Avatar State.” Zuko: “You lied to me! [Cut to Azula, who appears confident.]” Azula: “[Smugly.] Like I've never done that before.”/ End ID]

There are two scenes in “Zuko Alone” where Zuko accuses Azula of lying to him. Look at these lines, and see if you notice a common denominator.

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “Zuko Alone.” Young Azula: “[Sing-songy.] Dad's going to kill you! [Seriously.] Really, he is.” Young Zuko: “Ha-ha, Azula. Nice try.” Young Azula: “Fine, don't believe me. But I heard everything. Grandfather said Dad's punishment should fit his crime. [Imitates Azulon.] ‘You must know the pain of losing a first-born son. By sacrificing your own!’“ Young Zuko: “Liar!” Young Azula: “I'm only telling you for your own good. I know! Maybe you could find a nice Earth Kingdom family to adopt you!” Young Zuko: “Stop it! You're lying! Dad would never do that to me!”/ End ID]

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “Zuko Alone.” Young Zuko: “Where's Mom?” Young Azula: “No one knows. Oh, and last night, Grandpa passed away.” Young Zuko: “Not funny, Azula! You're sick. And I want my knife back, now. [Zuko tries to grab it, but misses as Azula quickly moves out of the way, and loudly grunts.]”/ End ID]

Do you see it yet? Twice Zuko thinks Azula is making some kind of joke, and both times (as far as canon shows us, though I’ve seen headcanons that argue differently) Azula is actually telling the truth.

Azula has no qualms about lying to acheive her goals. We see this multiple times over the course of the series. But if all we had to go by was these two scenes, we might paint a very different picture.

Because there’s another, more subtle thing that both of these scenes have in common: both times, Zuko chooses to believe that Azula is lying, rather than accept that a parent (read: Ozai, because both of these things are really his fault) has failed him.

The Beast

There’s a kind of cognitive bias that often occurs with victims of abuse. Rather than try to explain it, I’ll give an example of a fictional character from a different story who is a very clear example of how and why it happens.

In book one of Trials of Apollo (The Hidden Oracle), we’re introduced to a girl named Meg McCaffrey. Meg is strong, tough, and great in a fight. She explains that it’s all because of her stepfather, who took her in off the streets and trained her. She seems to genuinely care about him, and talks about him affectionately.

But there’s another man in Meg’s life: The Beast. The Beast is a constant presence in her nightmares. He killed her first father, and we soon learn that he’s one of the primary antagonists of the story, and planning on destroying the world.

But eventually, we discover the truth: The Beast and Meg’s stepfather are the same person.

Meg’s stepfather is an abuser, one who’s used a common tool of abusers everywhere-- detatching from the tool he uses to abuse her and anthromorphizing it. “Don’t make me angry,” he says, “or you’ll wake up The Beast, and then whatever happens is on your head.”

And because Meg needs to believe that her stepfather cares about her, she projects all her negative feelings about him towards this figmentary “Beast” and blaming him for all the problems in her life.

Are we noticing the connection to Zuko and his relationship with his father yet?

My Father Loves Me

For the first two and a half seasons (especially in season 1), Zuko is convinced that deep down, his father loves him, cares about him, wants him back home. He has to believe that, because if he doesn’t, then what has been the point of everything he’s done until now?

Which means that tricking him into an Agni Kai and then burning his face must have been justified. It means that capturing the Avatar really will get him back his honor. It means that everything that’s gone wrong in his life is his own fault.

Or, at least, almost everything.

You’re Like My Sister

The first time we ever hear of Azula (other than that shot of her smiling at the Agni Kai in “The Storm”) is when Zuko is talking to (unconcious) Aang after he captures him in “The Siege of the North, Part 2.”

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “The Siege of the North, Part 2.” Zuko: “I finally have you, but I can't get you home because of this blizzard. [Stands up and looks outside the cave.] There's always something. Not that you would understand. You're like my sister. Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. He says I was lucky to be born. I don't need luck, though. I don't want it. I've always had to struggle and fight and that's made me strong. It's made me who I am.”/ End ID]

There’s something interesting happening here. This is the first time Zuko’s been able to be totally honest about his feelings around Aang, and what does he do? He starts comparing Aang to, of all people, Azula. He’s projecting. He clearly has all of these negative feelings towards Azula, but he can’t do anything about them. So instead, he’s taking it out on Aang.

Take every single interaction between Aang and Zuko in season one. Now realize that from Zuko’s perspective, he was dealing with his sister.

Taking Aang prisoner on his ship? Azula. Constantly trying to capture Aang, only to be outsmarted by him? Azula. Shooting a blast of fire when Aang extends a potential hand of friendship? Azula.

Because Aang, like Azula, is a perceived obstacle between himself and his father’s love.

Father Says She Was Born Lucky

Ozai didn’t just belittle Zuko-- he pitted his children against each other. He made it clear to Zuko that, even from the moment he was born, he would never, ever be as good at his sister.

And all of this has caused a lot of rage and turmoil inside of Zuko. As self-depricating as he is, he does realize that not everything that’s gone wrong in his life is his fault. But we’ve already established that blaming his father would shatter his worldview.

So who else does he have to blame?

Azula.

Azula, who was born lucky. Azula, who’s just so perfect. Azula, the prodigy. Azula, who everyone adores. Azula, who got everything. Azula, who always lies.

Azula Always Lies

Zuko talks a lot about honor. He talks a lot about capturing the Avatar. But when he’s stressed, when he’s feeling pressured, when he’s thinking about all the ways his life has gone wrong, he uses a different mantra.

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “Zuko Alone.” Young Zuko: “[Chanting in a low voice.] Azula always lies. Azula always lies.” Cut to the older Zuko, lying in green grass, holding his traveler's hat to his chest. Zuko: “Azula always lies.”/ End ID]

Azula always lies.

”Azula always lies” is comforting. It means “father doesn’t really consider me a miserable failure.” It means “he was never really going to kill me.”

Instead of getting angry at all the ways his father has failed him, Zuko can just blame it on Azula’s lies. That way he doesn’t ever have to admit the real problem.

Now, I’m not saying that Azula was a perfect sister, or even a particularly good one. I’m not saying that she never lied, because we know she did. I’m not saying she didn’t hurt him, or trick him, or manipulate him. What I’m saying is that Zuko’s skewed perception has lead him to blame her not only for all the ways she hurt him, but also all the ways Ozai failed him.

“Okay,” you’re saying. “Say I agree with you. Say we assume that all of his negative feelings that really should have been directed at Ozai were instead directed at Azula. But that doesn’t matter now. Zuko eventually did realize that his father was wrong. They had a whole dramatic confrontation where Zuko told him what a horrible father he was and everything! He’s not projecting anymore, and his current feelings towards his sister should only be indicative of her actions and behaviors. Right?”

Wrong.

How Cognitive Bias Works

Cognitive bias is insidious. It doesn’t just affect one memory, it ripples outwards, affecting all of them. And the vast majority of the time, we don’t even notice it happening.

Zuko called Ozai out for two things, and two things only.

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “The Day of Black Sun, Part 2: The Eclipse.” Zuko: “For so long, all I wanted was for you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor I wanted, but really, I was just trying to please you. You, my father, who banished me just for talking out of turn. [Points a broadsword at his father.] My father, who challenged me, a thirteen-year-old boy, to an Agni Kai. [Cuts to shot of Ozai, looking angered.] How could you possibly justify a duel with a child?”/ End ID]

Zuko blames Ozai for his banishment, and for the Agni Kai. That is it.

To be clear, I am not saying that Zuko thinks Ozai was a perfect father before all of this. Not at all. Zuko is aware that Ozai is “the worst father in the history of fathers.”

But it isn’t like he’s gone back and inspected every single memory that involved Ozai and pinpointed all of the ways Ozai abuzed, manipulated, and gaslit him. He can’t. That requires both a level of objectivity he hasn’t reached, as well as a frame of reference for what normal looks like. Any victim of abuse-- especially childhood abuse-- will tell you that even though they know they were abused, they will often have or witness random interactions that will leave them thinking, “wait, this is what normally happens in this kind of situation? You mean [x] was also part of the abuse?”

Not to mention that while Zuko didn’t examine his feelings towards Azula at any point before the finale. He had his epiphany about Ozai, and realized that his father had been wrong, but he’d always thought Azula was wrong.

So while Zuko is aware that he had a bad father, he hasn’t actually stopped to consider how much of his anger towards his sister is actually about his father.

(Again, I’m not blaming Zuko. None of this is his fault, any more than he’s at fault for the Air Nomad Genocide or the war. It’s just the reality of his situation.)

Conclusion

So what am I saying here?

I’m saying that Zuko’s perception of his sister-- his anger, his frustration, his understanding of who she is-- is fundamentally biased. I’m saying Zuko isn’t viewing her from her own merits. I’m saying that Zuko doesn’t actually know her. He thinks he does, but he’s wrong.

I’m adding another thing to the list of reasons why Zuko is not the person to try and help Azula through her trauma.

I’m giving yet another example of how the fandom’s perception of Azula is also biased-- because the vast majority of our understanding of Azula’s character comes from Zuko.

And unlike Zuko, we can detach ourselves from the narrative enough to realize that it might be worthwhile to re-examine our view of her.

#avatar the last airbender #meta #fire sibs #thoughts #zuko and azula #zuko #selective memory #cognitive bias #azula #ozai #zuko and ozai #toxic family #cycle of abuse #toxic siblings #fire nation royal family #abuse #food for thought #all queued up

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wp-blaze · 11 hours

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Seeds

At first they return as softness, whispers in the wind, barely making their presence known The nostalgia is just the beginning, until the memories of you start aching in my bones They always come but are never welcome, intrusive, manipulative, controlling everything you always were, so discreetly So much so, I tried to tell my […]

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hqcult · 3 years

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SWITCHING POSITIONS ## akaashi keiji

doms and subs are overrated. it's hella fun being a switch and keiji couldn't agree more.

. tw smut, switch! akaashi, switch! reader, some baby girl and baby boy calling, mommy kink, sir kink, drunk sex, unprotected sex (dont try this at home), oral (m receiving), creampies, slight degradation . wc 3.8k

the night is young. as young a night gets for two college students after finals week. while countless people from different frat houses have already invited you to come to their year-end parties, you never really enjoy that scene. it's too much of an effort to dress and doll yourself up when, after such a stressful week, you just want to wind down and get drunk here in your dorm with your best friend.

plus, keiji tells way more compelling stories than boys you've encountered at parties and that's saying something, considering you had been drunk as a skunk but didn't find them funny at all.

yeah. offense.

right from the get-go, you figure he's never one for small talk but there's a fondness in his eyes when he talks about his days as a volleyball player. he becomes more loose-lipped, sharing to you memories of his teammates and games. you really didn't care whatever topic he chose to talk about, you just know you'll listen to him anyway. it's great listening to him talk with that comforting voice of his.

"you know," you lean your head back against the couch, cozying up in your hoodie. "maybe you should start a part-time job as a youtuber. you can be one of those people who do asmr videos or something." you chuckle, finding the random thought amusing.

"but i'm already on a full-ride. i don't think i need to get a part-time job," he lies comfy on your couch. one arm hanging, hands over the can of beer.

you sighed staring up at the ceiling. "lucky. it's hard maintaining grades when your professors are a bunch of snobby assholes who don't care about their students."

his knee nudges the back of your head lightly. "don't say that," he scolds. "that's bad. they're still your teachers."

always so polite.

just as you reach forward for another slice of pizza, akaashi speaks again, eyeing you thoughtfully. "well… maybe i can start an asmr channel and we can split the money i earn."

you laugh, torso turning around to face him. you bring the beer can up to offer a toast.

"see, this is why i love you, keiji."

after clicking his can with yours, you turn around to have a bite of your pizza — completely missing the red flush on his cheeks, thrown off-guard by the strong proclamation you just made, albeit he knows you probably meant it in a platonic way. he didn't know what to say next so he took another swig of his drink.

he doesn't know. really. what triggered him to look at you as something way more than a normal friend would. for someone so self-aware as him it's frustrating not knowing how and when his feelings for you even changed. because the only time he realized he was knee deep into liking you was when he was also at the brink of losing you.

which reminds him…

"what happened to that guy you were texting two weeks ago?" he asks.

"ah, him? he's too… what's the word, assertive? intrusive? i don't know — it's like he wants to monopolize my time. like he wants my whole world to revolve around him and it's… kinda creepy actually."

akaashi scoffs, sitting up to get a slice of pizza. "you guys were only talking for two weeks."

"i know! that's what i'm saying!" you say, hands wildly gesturing to and fro. he's afraid you might spill the beer. "like — dude. maybe it's either he needs to chill the fuck out or i'm just not into doms. or maybe he's a walking red flag."

he hums thoughtfully, slumping next to you on the floor before dusting his hands off from pizza crumbs. "he's a red flag. obviously."

"okay but random thought: doms are overrated," you reach forward to open another can of beer, thinking out loud. "subs too. i feel like it's kinda tiring being a top as much as it is being a bottom. being a switch, on the other hand, is like getting the best of both worlds and who wouldn't like that? it's some good hannah montana shit."

now akaashi keiji can't help but laugh at that. "are you drunk? how did our conversation end up this way even."

you bump his shoulder, laughing with him before drinking your beer. "oh, come on. humor me a little, keiji. think about it. i'm right. aren't i?"

"and how do you know?" he turns his head towards you. "have you been a top? or bottom —"

"i have," the smile you gave him sent butterflies to his stomach. "both. back in my all-girls high school. being a bottom's not too bad but… eh, still. i'd rather just be a switch. it's exhausting to top all the time."

"don't i know it," akaashi mutters under his breath. flashbacks of all those awkward and embarrassing endeavors filling his mind. "guys are always expected to top. it's like a stereotype. can't i just sit back sometimes and follow orders, too?"

he feels the heat crawling up his neck and it makes him shrug off his jacket, leaving him with the plain white shirt underneath.

"i can give you orders."

akaashi almost chokes on his beer.

"you literally just said it's exhausting to top."

you shrugged. "yeah, but — i mean, it is! it is but… you know."

he can see exactly how embarrassment is taking over your features and he wants to stop and move on from the conversation. he wants to. he should. but there's an inkling feeling inside him that doesn't because he wants to see how this unfolds. his heart is beating erratically and he can't take his eyes off you since that little comment you made.

"i'm sorry," you chuckle, a dismissive tone in your voice. "nevermind. anyway…"

akaashi shouldn't entertain his thoughts.

it's improper. you're his best friend. literally one of the few people who he's managed to befriend in college. he can't lose you. he can't risk being awkward with you. his not-so-platonic feelings for you should never get in the way of that. never. plus, you're both intoxicated right now and you were probably just kidding around. akaashi isn't that kind of guy. he respects you. he should dismiss the conversation but —

"then give me orders."

you froze. eyes widening as you stare at the forgotten netflix movie playing on your laptop, unable to look at the man sitting next to you. afraid of the weight of his stare. you didn't know why you blurted out whatever you did a few seconds ago but you never thought he'd entertain it. not that you mind, anyway. this is your best friend we're talking about. well-mannered akaashi keiji with the ocean eyes hiding behind those cute square glasses.

the akaashi keiji you've been crushing hard on since you saw him at the freshman orientation two years ago.

"would you… spread your legs for me?"

light rustling can be heard as the microfibers of his socks drag against the carpeted floor. just as you reach forward to push back the coffee table, akaashi beats you to it and does it for you. making sure to push it far so you won't accidentally hit your back on the edges.

with one smooth swing of your leg, you're sitting snug on his lap. the rough fabric of his jeans grazing your thighs as your hands tremble whilst dragging down the planes of his torso.

akaashi grabs your hands, stopping you.

"you look hesitant. you don't need to do this if you don't want to." his tone is low, understanding as always.

you look at him straight in the eye. leaning forward until your lips are all but grazing each other as you spoke. "i want to. i want you."

you dive down to start peppering kisses down his neck and you hear him let out a shaky sigh. you lick a stripe up the side of his neck before kissing the shell of his ear. "go on, keiji. you can touch me. don't you want to touch mommy?"

you feel him shudder, his dexterous fingers mapping random lines underneath your hoodie, slowly raking higher and higher until he's saying "mommy, please take it off" in low hushed tones. the blush in his cheeks prominent as he can't seem to stare at you in the eye. so cute. so submissive. so stupid thinking you'll let him undress you so easily.

"did i say you can take it off?" you hiss, reaching down to cup him from over his jeans and shoving his hands off you. "don't tell me baby boy is being bad, are you being bad? i thought my baby keiji's a good boy for his mommy."

"but… but i am a good —"

akaashi hisses, knees jolting when he feels you tracing circles on the insides of his thighs with the tip of your nails. for someone who just claimed they didn't like topping, you're doing an impeccable job at it and he doesn't know whether or not he loves it or hates it. when your sneaky little hands unbutton his jeans and teasingly pulls the zipper down, okay, no, he definitely loves it. the determined look in your eyes as you pin your gaze on his features, watching like a hawk at every furrow of his brow, of every sharp intake of breath, every time he throws his head back.

"if you're such a good boy why don't you strip for mommy, hm? won't my baby boy give me a show?" he can't take his eyes off you as you smile, sultry, leaning over to lick at his bottom lip as your ass slowly grinds against his jeans. how merciless you are, when you gave him a peck and pulled away. "go on. strip and sit on the couch."

blindly reaching around the coffee table, you grabbed whatever beer you can hold before raising it up to your lips and staring at him over the rim of the can as he throws his shirt off. you suck in a breath when his abdominals come into view. his torso lean and smooth, siding a little more on the petite size with a tiny waist. and you shamelessly check him out even more when he leans over and hooks his thumbs under his jeans, pushing it down.

you didn't speak until you saw the black waistband of his boxers.

"those, too."

he pauses, looking a little lost. "i'm sorry, what —"

"everything, baby boy. i want everything off… including those boxers. wanna see your dick throbbing. bet baby boy's already hard because mommy kissed his neck and gave him hickies, isn't he? bet you'll love it if mommy licks you all over, or when mommy rides her baby boy's cute thighs. would my baby keiji like that? would you? does my baby boy deserve it?"

damn were you good at this. the more you spoke the more it's making him ache and he wastes no time in shoving everything down. true to your words he was throbbing. the mushroom tip oozing precum and his dick standing tall. maybe it's the alcohol in his system or maybe it's the desire for you that he had kept locked away for so long, but akaashi can't bring it in himself to feel embarrassed. not when you're looking at him like you want to devour him whole.

the same bright eyes of his adventurous best friend who's stuck by his side since being wide-eyed first years in this huge university — he'll probably never see you in that same halo ever again, already tainted by the image of you now.

he sees you swallow, eyes never straying away from his girth and akaashi feels a little proud to have you looking star-struck. when you rise from your seat, his muscles tense in anticipation, staring at your hand as it slowly reaches forward — only to pause mid-air.

akaashi looks up at you questionably and he sees the unspoken question in your eyes, asking for his consent. and your baby boy's answer was instantaneous.

"please, mommy. touch me?"

the smile on your face was cocky. definitely cocky as your hand wraps around his girth, the other wrapping around his throat as you coo. "aw, how can i resist when you're asking so nicely? why don't you sit on the couch and i'll grant whatever my baby boy wants, hm?"

he mewls, leaning back on the couch and eyes you with lust. "like this, mommy?" he mutters, desperate. he even tilts his hips up a little to offer you a better view as you hum in approval, straddling his hips as you stroked his cock.

"such a good boy for mommy, aren't you? how pretty."

he hisses when he catches sight of you kneeling before him in between his legs, looking at him with the most captivating sultry gaze he's ever seen. "mommy's gonna give you a 'lil prep, yeah? so it won't hurt when i ride your dick, baby boy."

"yes, momm — ugh."

akaashi throws his head back when you finally wrap your lips around him. the image of your hollowed cheeks forever ingrained in his mind. his eyes fly close, focusing his attention on your swift tongue as it lies flat against the underside of his cock, taking him eagerly from the base to the tip. your tongue swirls around the head, sneakily poking around the hole where precum oozes out.

"mommy," he whines when your tongue travels back to his girth, tracing one of the prominent veins in his dick before your hand comes up to play with his balls. "mommy — shit. so good… feels so good…"

it urges you on, hands retracting to wrap around whatever your mouth couldn't cover. his back is arching and you suck him with fervor, eager to push him to the edge, to make him believe you're going to lick and play and suckle until he's creaming around your mouth — only to pull away at the last minute.

"no!" he moans, looking down at you desperately as you rise from your seat. "i was-i was gonna cum!"

you dismiss him easily with a wave of the hand, too busy shuffling out your clothes. maybe if you had the energy, you would've punished him a few rough spanks but you were far gone already. thoughts of that dick splitting you in half as you ride him consuming your mind like a plague.

akaashi groans when you hop onto the sofa and crash your lips on his. you never would've imagined kissing him this way. sloppy and wet and painfully induced with lust. the stretch is amazing, there was the lightest stinging sensation but was overridden by pleasure. he groans, pulling you close and peppering your shoulders with kisses.

you grabbed his shoulders and started bouncing on his lap in a slow, stimulating manner that made you feel every vein and curve of his cock as it deliciously drags against your walls. you hear him wine. you hear him talk about how it hurts and how he can't take it anymore. how he needs his mommy to move faster. faster, mommy. please fuck me faster. but you ignored him, so caught up in domspace to see the growing irritation in your baby boy's eyes. to see the sudden shift from clinging onto you so desperately to gripping possessively against the soft flesh of your sides.

the air was knocked out of your lungs when he slams you down on the sofa.

"you dare ignore me?" his face is passive, eyes cold and steely as he pinned you with a dark stare. "time's up. i think you got a tad bit carried away there, don't you agree?"

"want me to show you how it's done?" you shiver in excitement when he takes your wrists in one hand. his thighs flex as he gets on his knees before hooking your legs over his shoulder, thrusting his dick deeper into you. akaashi bends forward, a hand firmly gripping your face. "i want you to address me as 'sir' and nothing else, do i make myself clear?"

his low assertive tone so painfully attractive you clenched around him as he drills into you with vigor. akaashi chuckles, the low rumbles of his chest stimulating your perked nubs as it grazed against him with every thrust. "yeah, you like that? like it when i speak to you like this? ah, fuck you're so tight. you're pussy's practically choking my dick — look, fucking look, baby girl."

your head grazes his as you both watch his member disappear inside you, getting off at the lewd sight of the glistening sheen of your essence wrapped around his cock and the loud squelching noise it makes when he rams it into you again. you whimper, pulling akaashi down for a kiss as your ankles hook around his back, pulling him deeper as his pace quickens and his balls slap against your skin.

"see that? your pussy keeps sucking me back in. bet you're desperate for my cock, aren't you?" you never thought akaashi to be the type who's into talking dirty, you thought he was the gentle, vanilla type. but alcohol always brings around quite interesting things about a person after getting drunk.

you cling onto him for dear life as his hand reaches down to draw figure eights against your puffy clit, eliciting the most feral of moans from you that could rival that of pornstars. "sir," you shudder. "please, sir. please."

"please what?" he grabs your lower back, pulling your torso up to hit an angle that makes you see stars.

"please, let me cum! please."

akaashi clicks his tongue before raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "you didn't listen to me when i was the one begging, why should i listen to you?"

your hands wrap around his neck, sobbing against the crook of his neck by the sheer pleasure you felt. he can't understand your mindless babbling. all inside keiji's mind is the feel of your perked nipples grazing his chest and your plush walls wrapping around him so prettily. he never did it raw, having you as his first time doing it without a condom pushed him way over the edge than he wants to admit.

"be-because — ah — i didn't —"

akaashi hauls you up into a sitting position, arms wrapped around you securely as you straddle him. he yanks you away from his neck, a tight grip wrapped around your throat as he stares straight into your eyes as he fucks up into you, feeling his balls slap against your skin. "what? cock's that good you can't even speak?"

he feels your hips stutter as you sob, tiny hands wrapped around his wrists. you didn't even try bouncing and meeting his thrusts anymore. "sir, please! s'too much! wanna cum —"

"then fucking work for it," he stils his hips. "fuck me back, baby girl. come on. you said you wanted to ride me, didn't you? bet this is what you've been thinking about for the whole night. that's the only thing my baby girl's capable of right? thinking 'bout my cock and nothing else? such a dumb little baby."

your legs quivered and shook as you obliged and pulled yourself half way up, before meeting him halfway and impaling yourself back down his cock. the first time you did it had both of you whining, akaashi quickly threading his hands through your hair to yank your face towards him. he wants to imprint this memory into his mind. to be able to merely shut his eyes and be transported back to the night you both were intoxicated and you let him use your cunt like a fleshlight.

all sense of manners were thrown out the window as his ocean eyes memorized the way your eyes rolled back when he hits a sweet spot, the way your nose scrunches when the pleasure becomes overwhelming, the way the drool shamelessly trickles down the side of your lips as your tongue sticks out and he so badly wanted to spit but he didn't in fear of making you uncomfortable. everything. he wants to memorize everything.

"just a little more, pretty girl. you can do it. together, okay? cum before me and you'll fucking regret it."

he grabs you closer, burying your face in his neck and planting his feet firm on the ground as he pistons his cock into you. it's not the heat of your body, or your pretty cries, or the lewd sound of skin slapping that made him cum. no. it was your sheer desperation and vulnerability as you bit his shoulders and yelled at the top of your lungs.

"keiji!"

he pulled out at record speed and had made a mess on his torso but he was hardly able to register any of these. so fucked out and sated and content to have you sitting on his lap as he stares at your plain ceiling. he doesn't even realize you've dropped down to your knees and started lapping up the essence splayed on his torso until he felt the hot muscle of your tongue. "(y/n) —"

"what happened to baby girl?" you tease, a playful smile on your lips as you meet his eyes. "you were so into it, 'kaashi. you should've seen your face — well, i was… kinda into it too, anyway."

it took akaashi around three seconds for everything to finally sink in, to fully sober up and let the gears work in his head. the realization of what had gone down on your sofa, of the things he told you, brings about an embarrassment greater than anything he's ever felt in his entire life. suddenly, he's shoving you away from him and draping the discarded blanket around your naked form whilst politely looking away. then he quickly covers his soft dick with one of your throw pillows.

"oh, my god. i'm so sorry. this is a mistake — shit — i'm sorry! you see, i've liked you ever since and not as a friend and i swear i'm not the type to just —"

"keiji" you snap him out of it. "i like you too, okay? now don't go around saying it's a mistake or i'm going to throw you off the roof. do you want me to throw you off the roof? right. i don't think so. now, come on! get your sexy ass dressed, we're going somewhere."

"where... are we going?"

"i'm craving ice cream. so for our first date, buying ice cream at 2am!"

#(❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) mine ༉‧#ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ queue’d!#thirsthours #haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu scenarios #hq scenarios #haikyuu imagines #hq imagines #haikyuu #akaashi keiji #akaashi smut #akaashi keiji smut #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi keiji x you #akaashi keiji x yn #hq akaashi #akaashi haikyuu

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the-goddess-of-mischief-writing · 3 years

Text

New York High Rise {3}

Series summary; What does Steve think of what just happened? Well, not only will his next client get to know but also a dear friend of the mob boss.

Pairing: mob!Steve x mob!reader

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: Chapter 3/5

Word; 6.2k

Warnings; canon type violence, death, anything you could expect from a mafia!au

Author; @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing

A/N: I just want to warn anyone, this chapter revolve around Steve and contains graphic scenes so if anyone feel like they may get triggered, I have now warned you. If you choose to read anyways it is YOUR choice.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Steve was fuming. He could practically feel the steam rising from the top of his head. This time, compared to earlier, it wasn't because of the feverish warmth inside the club. Nor the sunny season's air outside. It was because of the folder resting on the table.

The Canine boss could still hear the echoing slap the orderly stacked papers had done when landing on the table. Even your words reverberated in his head like an annoying tune he couldn't help but mutely sing in his mind.

This was not how he'd thought this meeting would go.

Steve had planned to get his will through, to expand his empire from Brooklyn to the most successful part of New York, Manhattan, your territory. But no. You'd decided to be as stubborn as a mule and as stuck up as the bureaucrats that he needed to handle in exclusive deals.

Now he understood why so many said your empire wasn't the usual kind, rather something new. You'd built your syndicate from the best, or worst in regard of how the Canine for the moment saw you, of two worlds.

"Bitch", you were long gone, so the growled curse aimed at you went unheard. However, the walls around Steve caught the profanity he uttered whilst snagging the folder from the table and pursued to head out of the room.

Only the guards stationed outside the corridor leading to the conference room was still in the club. Yet, the Canine boss paid them no mind as he stalked out of the private area, making them scramble to follow him. The rest of his party, even those previously undercover, must have either retreated for the night or waited outside. Concerning how Steve himself hadn't left yet, he suspected at least his most trusted team was waiting by the car.

Passing through the lobby, the mob boss frightened some of the staff lingering about. Not only thanks to the authority he always carried himself with but also his visible darkened features. However, Steve's attention didn't stray to the people following him with wary eyes. Instead, he looked straight forward, focusing on his guards where they lounged around the black Chrysler he'd arrived with a few hours earlier.

Seemingly, they had enough of an engaging conversation that they shared some laughs. But that changed the moment Steve stepped through the door a bouncer held open for him.

Usually, the Canine boss' hard exterior dissolved somewhat among his men, seeing how they'd become good comrades. Although now, when the dark-blonde man came out of the club looking like he could kill someone, their easy smiles and carefree stance immediately smartened up. Backs straightened and jaws clenched upon seeing the fury Steve not only emitted with a scowl but his whole body.

"How did it go?" One of the guards questioned, more out of courtesy than curiosity, concerning it was clear how it went. As suspected, he got nothing more than a glare from Steve, seeing how his anger hadn't flickered out the slightest, only heightened when feeling how his fingers clutched the folder in his hand even tighter. Your folder with your contract.

"Where's Barnes?" Some flinched by his bark of a question.

"He's still inside...", the rest of the answer fell on deaf ears as the blonde rounded the car, not caring too much where his head bodyguard was for the moment, only that he would hurry up to finish whatever he dealt with.

"As soon as he's back, we go", the driver, who had noticed the Canine boss and stepped out of the vehicle to hold open the door for him, didn't even get the chance to do what he intended. Steve all but tore open the backseat door and climbed into the car. Leaving the chauffeur to stand there and look at his boss in perplexity, as the Canine didn't more than touch the black leather seat before he slammed the door shut again.

That Steven had a temper everyone in his vicinity knew. But how he now acted reached not only a new level but contrasted heavily to how you'd appeared.

You'd left about ten minutes ago, looking indifferent to how everyone in Steven's patrol had seen you when first entering the designated conference room. That guard of yours had led you to the car parked mere ten feet from their own boss'. There, your chauffeur had greeted you with a smile and a few quiet words none besides you were meant to hear. Neither was your response, that likewise was accompanied with a smile, able to be distinguished.

As you stepped into your transport, none of the men trying to read your expressions noted anything more than a similar politeness Steve could show them once in their company. However, when comparing it to the state of their own boss once he exited, it was clear that the meeting didn't favour the Canine boss, but rather the Feline. And though none who had accompanied Steven knew what the two of you'd discussed concerning the meeting had been a closed-door discussion, they knew their boss hadn't brought anything with him earlier. So when spotting the portfolio that the mob boss had held in his hand, it only sealed the deal further.

That was why none of the guards nor the chauffeur intruded on the solitude Steve had sought inside the car, merely waiting for the right-hand man of the Canine boss to return so they could head to their next stop.

And it was good none did either, seeing how Steve mulled over everything that had happened with curses leaving him every five seconds. Additionally, anyone who would've opened the opposite backseat door would have got your folder smack in the forehead, seeing how the blonde man had thrown it as harshly and as far away from himself that he could, once in his own confinement.

He didn't need to hold the damned contract you'd offered him, even less open and study it, to know he would read it in your annoying voice. And that aggravated Steve even more.

It annoyed him that your voice echoed as a constant reminder in his mind. It annoyed him that you'd prepared a contract, which so obviously cried you hadn't even come here to listen to him in the first place. It annoyed him to such a fucking degree that you'd played him by a mere act of forced courtesy rather than a gentlemen move, to use your own words, that it felt like he could just tear the contract to shreds.

Still, he didn't.

The blonde man seethed, turning his head to look at the folder. 'If you don't sign it and have it delivered to me, I know you've declined my offer and this war will be ended in another way.' He knew you were serious about that, so perhaps that was why he hadn't left it behind in the conference room. Nonetheless, it had taken a great effort for Steve to push away every ounce of pride in his body to grab ahold of it. And when he finally held the stiff cartoon folder, it had almost felt like it burned him like some crucifix. No, it burned like a sign of defeat.

Joseph Rogers would never have done it, never admitted when he was defeated.

At the thought of his father, Steve's hand fisted where it rested on the armrest dividing the two seats in the back of the car. What would he say? He probably wouldn't have said anything, just walked out as you had done to him. A vibration deep in his chest made a low sound leave him at the realisation you actually played the game his father always had and Steve himself only thought he had.

Fittingly, or unfittingly in his own mind, the door connected to the other seat opened with a click to interrupt the abusive thoughts of his father.

Although pulled out of his mind, Steve didn't glance to see whoever plucked the folder occupying the seat beside him before they climbed in themselves. There was only one person that first and foremost would dare to be in his presence right now. On top of that, also knew he was the only one who didn't need to repeatedly ask for permission to join him.

Not even when he saw the person shift in his peripheral, from simply holding the folder to actually waving it slightly to catch his attention, clearly wanting to ask him a question, did Steve look towards them. Although, he did speak up.

"Not a word, Barnes", the Canine boss raised his fist, so it was levelled with his cheek as he said this. By now, his nails had dug into his palm and there was no question small crescent moons would be dented in his skin.

"Maybe I should've stayed, after all", the sentence was followed by a chuckle, the sound making Steve snap to watch the man sitting beside him.

"Didn't I say you should keep your mouth shut?" The blonde stared at the brunette. Who, unlike earlier, now had pulled his hair into a low bun in the nape of his neck. However, no matter the fury the Canine's cold blue eyes conveyed, Bucky Barnes saw no real threat.

"You often do, but you have so far not put a bullet in me", Bucky shrugged with an easy smile.

The mob boss remained silent as his head bodyguard leaned forwards far enough to knock on the wall beside the still open windshield that could separate the driver from those in the back seat.

"Close it up", Steve honestly thought the brunette would've given the chauffeur, who now had taken his place behind the wheel, directions of where to go. Gauging by his act, he must have done it before getting into the car. Hence, the driver did nothing but nod to signify he heard what the guard said before closing the visor, leaving whatever Steve knew Bucky wanted to talk to him about for only him to hear.

He felt the car rock to a gentle start, the road underneath the vehicle sending small vibrations throughout Steve. Tilting his head, he saw the scenery blur as he didn't concentrate on anything specific they drow by.

Despite the initial silence of the car ride, the blonde saw how the man beside him shifted, angling his body just slightly more his way. The minimal change of where Bucky attention laid told the mob boss he would initiate a conversation. And as on a cue, Bucky spoke. "So what happened? 'Cause clearly you scared half of your squad enough for them to want to take a week off".

He didn't redirect his gaze, fearing that his now fisted hand would connect with his friend's jaw if he didn't control himself. What happened? The question taunted in his mind, enough so that Steve clenched his jaw. Everything that shouldn't have happened.

"You have the folder", he gritted out, continuing to aimlessly stare out of the window, now concentrating on how the scenery changed from the narrow streets the nightclub had been located in to instead manifest the glittering sunset reflecting off the water in East River.

Beside him, he felt how Bucky shifted and shortly afterwards came the sounds of papers starting to be turned over. The head guard sat silent as he read the contract that not even the Canine had looked through.

The lack of verbal confirmation of Steve's evident loss in this meeting spurred the blonde, whether he wanted or not, to glance at the brunette.

Bucky's brows were furrowed. Consequently causing the grooves on his forehead, which always appeared when he pondered something, to become extremely visible. His features remained this way as his eyes scanned over the rows stitching together the contract. Then, for some reason, they changed.

From an expression showing the brunette tried to fathom the situation that had made Steve considerably harsher to anyone in his close vicinity, his face now fell and a smirk began to toy with his lips. On top of this, he let out a low whistle turning to the next page.

The smouldering anger in Steve's chest flared up to the same intensity it had burned with earlier. Back when he had sat in silence and glared at the folder inside the club. He ground his teeth together, feeling how they caught in each other's pointy edges.

"What?" He demanded to know what the man all of a sudden found so entertaining. Yet, the answer didn't come immediately. Instead, Bucky sat there with the same expression pinning his face while finishing the document in his grip.

Not until the brunette had closed the binder and waved it similarly to how he'd done when entering the car did his gaze meet Steve's. His eyes, also blue but slightly greyer in colour, was crinkled in the corners. The amusement, or whatever caused the mob boss nostrils to flare in agitation, was only further displayed by the shake of his head.

"She's good".

"What?" Bucky almost hadn't finished his nearly wordless reply before Steve barked his requirement of an explanation.

"Whether you want to admit it aloud or not, I know you think about it in that analysing brain of yours", the brunette begun, pushing the folder underneath the mob boss' arm on the armrest. Steve, who followed the act with disdain, shuffled in his seat directly afterwards so he wouldn't be touching the contract which you formerly had been carrying around.

Watching the blonde's action, Bucky only continued, now even less worried his words might be wrong and evoke further anger from the Canine. Of course, he might still get mad, though Bucky knew he at least was right. "She is good, Steve. If not shown by this contract, which I suggest you read, then at least how she's gotten to you".

The blonde man elected to ignore the last part of his bodyguard's sentence. Hence, only questioning the first part. "Why should I read it?"

Arrogance was a trait many shared once someone stepped on their pride, but never had Bucky witnessed such amounts of it exhibited by the Canine boss. His nose twitched in the corner as if the mere thought of opening the papers offended him. The mistrust in his voice showed he didn't believe what just was advised to him, nor that the words of you being competent could be true. All signs of denial, a damaged pride.

"Sometimes I wondered how you even could've come this far to rebuild your father's empire when you're so stubborn to see the truth at times", the comment made Steve cock his head.

"Is that a threat or a call for resignation, I hear?" Bucky simply rolled his eyes and turned to fully face the man, now giving him his undivided attention.

"I may have been here from the day you called me and asked me to join your plans, but believe me, working outside this world for some time, especially in the field I was in, you learn to see who is good at their job and not".

Although Bucky had known Steve ever since they were kids, essentially because their fathers had been partners when the Canine empire was worth more than its own power in gold, the two had fallen out of the regular touch they'd kept after Joseph had passed. Steve had remained close to his mother. While Bucky returned to have both his feet in the ordinary world.

His name had never been brought into the discussion of conviction or any kind of youth crimes, essentially thanks to his father never being proven guilty of the few charges raised against him. Another favour his old man thanked the former Canine boss for. For Bucky, it made things easy to find live his life as if he didn't know what went on underneath the city he walked in.

He went to school, took a degree in law. Which his father before passing as well, considered humorous. Though, Bucky didn't start working directly even if offered jobs. He'd been young and not really knowing which direction he would go. He had no mothers footsteps to follow, seeing how she'd passed before he even had a memory of her. His father shoes still felt too big to fill, so he decided to follow a path he felt natural.

Bucky joined the army. Not more than a few years and two trips. Nevertheless, it was easy pocket change concerning two factors. His father had urged him to take the same martial art classes as Steve's father had done to him. He'd also lived with one foot in the syndicate and the other outside during his whole childhood. The concept of order, planning and warfare wasn't anything alarmingly new to him.

Then he'd begun to explore more, starting to step into the low tier position as an intern at different firms. It was easy to get in, concerning his degree and quickly, he gained enough working experience to get a promotion. His former boss at the advocate company may have thought Bucky was a natural talent or a genius from school. But, it was all thanks to his upbringing he possed the requirements a higher position demanded.

It's mainly thanks to his years working within the judiciary before reconnecting with Steve and began working as his head guard Bucky knows you fall into the group of people who are good at what you do.

The blonde had sat silent this whole time, never breaking away from Bucky's stare. It made the brunette believe that his friend would settle whatever resent he had towards you personally and at least read through the arrangement you assembled for the greater of his empire. Apparently, he was wrong.

"But now you're not working with that anymore", Bucky actually let out a low scoff of annoyance.

"I'm working as a head personal guard for someone I'm swaying on keeping alive at the moment, I know. And I do this because we both know I'm better at the combat part than you, ever since we were kids", despite the jab, it was the mention of how the man, despite being roughly the same size as Steve, always had been slightly better at fighting then himself that made the blonde bite his inner cheek. "I also know that I'm still damn good at what used to be my former profession. Which, you actually also should know concerning you never shoo me out of the room when discussing with your official advisors of the plans to come", when he finally ended the point he wanted to prove, he cocked a brow at Steve, who now had furrowed his brows.

Bucky saw the ire still lingering in the blondes' eyes, making them go cold rather than warm. Nevertheless, he said nothing. The Canine boss simply gave the folder, which hadn't moved from its settlement no matter how much the two men gently had rocked with the turns of the car, one last glare before he altogether turned away as much as his seat let him.

The head bodyguard was close to letting the comment of how similar the mob boss, who'd made a name for himself lately of being indifferent to everything standing in his way, was to a rebellious child. Yet, in the end, he didn't, knowing the car ride would become even more atrocious than it already was set to be.

As suspected, the whole drive from the club to the luxurious hotel, where the Canine boss' next stop was, went by in complete silence. And, when they finally pulled up outside the building, the car had almost not stopped before Steve opened the door without a word. The brunette couldn't but let out a huff and follow the man out of the vehicle.

As Bucky tracked a few steps behind the blonde mob boss, he nodded to a few of the other bodyguards to follow as well. Whatever he might have remarked about considering to keep Steve alive was very much said as a dig at the moment to remind the man he might be written as his subordinate, but he was true to nature working side by side with him. After all, Steven was his friend and Bucky didn't desire to get his blood on his hands.

When the little party of Canines neared the entrance, both men stationed on each side of the doors opened them without further ado. Either they thought Steve looked like someone fitting to live here, or they could've been paid to do so. The brunette figured it was the latter concerning the overall safety measures, not only this hotel but the district in general upheld. Although, he didn't question it way too much as he now concentrated on the slightly denser crowd of people in the lobby.

Not only did they blend in quite well, concerning the people living at this hotel was flanked by at least two bodyguards each. Bucky also noticed how some of the former rigidity in Steve's shoulder lessened as he weaved through the lobby.

Though anyone else may find it excellent that the physical aspect of the blondes former irritation trickled off, it unsettled Bucky even further. Thus, having grown up with Steve, he knew that the silent seething anger was worse than the outgoing one. This, in other words, didn't bode particularly well.

However, even though the brunette had a raising suspicion, along with fear, that this visit the mob boss had decided to do after his meeting with you wouldn't have a good outcome, he had no chance to voice his worry. Essentially because the elevator they'd taken to reach the floor they were heading to now stopped.

Bucky was first to exit the elevator. Checking that the coast was clear before looking back to the Canine boss. He tried making the blonde meet his gaze, now seriously doubting if Steve was fit to meet the partner he'd had an escalating problem with the past weeks. Yet, the blue-eyed man kept his attention straight forward and didn't even spare his childhood friend a glance.

A thousand things were running through Steve's mind as he headed down the corridor, spotting the door his business partner was on the other side of.

He knew Bucky tried gaining his attention with the repetitive looks he threw his way. His most entrusted bodyguard and friend could read him like an open book. Thus knowing the silent facade that he'd put up was just that, a facade. Still, he continued to ignore him as he'd done ever since their conversation was over half an hour ago.

As the party stopped before the door, Steve decided to give the inclining nod to one of his other guards to step forwards and knock on the door.

Following three rapid knocks, a call of 'no cleaning' followed by a similar set of knockings later, footsteps could be heard near the door from the other side. A few seconds after, the door swung open, revealing a man currently trying to fasten his cufflinks.

"I said I didn't...". Even though the brunette's eyes had been cast down as he'd began to speak, the second they flickered up to watch, what the man must have assumed would be a hotel maid but rather was the Canine mob boss, he trailed off in his sentence.

"Good day Mr Jefferson", if the man's body hadn't already gone rigid, his shoulders bounced up even closer to his ears after Steve's greeting.

In a hurried attempt to smarten up, he completed his attempt of fastening the jewellery pin.

"Mr Rogers", he breathed out almost shakily while pulling a hand through his hair, some of the strands sticking to his scalp while others simply fell forwards once more. "Why do I owe the pleasure?"

Without answering, Steve stepped forwards, forcing the man to open the door wider.

As he walked into the pad, the blonde gazed around it uninterestingly. It was lavish. Probably like most rooms were in the hotel.

"I'm here to talk with you". Steve answered his associates question the second he heard the door closed. Taking the liberty, he sat down in the couch group occupying a vaster portion of the entry room's space. "Sit", with a wave of his hand, the Canine motioned to the sitting place at the other side of the dark oak table.

Jefferson, who glanced warily at the guards that had stationed themselves around the room -one by the window, another two directly behind Steve and the last lingering by the door out to the corridor- had no other choice than to follow the mob boss' directions.

Sitting down at the edge of the seat, he swallowed around the lump in his throat.

"How's business going?" The mob boss asked as he leaned against the couches backrest. One arm was slung over the ridge, fingers tapping against the material, while his other hand rested on his thigh.

"Bussines is going well".

"Good, always nice to hear companies you invest in are going strong", Steve hummed, noticing the minimal shift Jefferson did as he said this. "How's my money going?"

"Ah... t-that question is a little more complicated...".

Even though the brunette continued to ramble about all the different reasons his payments were late, or not even that, non-existing, the Canine boss didn't listen. He knew he was being screwed over by the man opposite him. He'd gotten the information weeks ago that the CEO of the company he's worked with since the beginning of the year wanted to change sides.

At first, it had been more of a rumour and he hadn't been able to dig up where Jefferson's company was heading. Then it became clear they would switch partners to one of the other godfather's around New York. However, even if Steve thought he didn't like how they tried doing so in the shadows while still upholding their deal, the worst thing was when he got to know who they shifted their alliance to. You.

Seeing how much unfavourable publicity you'd given his empire in the last few months was aggravating. However, listening to the man talking his ear off as if Steve hadn't already figured why exactly fifteen percentages of the profit capital was rolling into your account instead of his was the last drop.

Without even noticing it himself, Steve's hand that had rested upon his thigh raised and were tucked into his suit.

The metal handle he gripped wasn't cold anymore, not after having rested so close to his heart for over an hour. Nor did it get cooled down as he hastily pulled it out of its holster and aimed it at the man opposite him.

"I don't like rats, Landon", the use of the man's first name rather than surname would've made him quiet if the gun aimed his way already hadn't silenced him. "Pray you don't get reborn as one in your next life as well".

On the firearm, a silencer was mounted. So the characteristic bang sounded much more like a pop. Therefore, the noise of the gun was even less intimidating than the ricochet. However, neither of the telltale signs of a shot made Steve flinch, not even as he watched the bullet penetrate the space in-between his former associate's eyes, did he react.

As the mob boss stood, Jefferson's upper body slumped forward, hitting the table with a heavy thud and ugly clap as his head was the first thing that connected with it. No tears were trickling down his cheeks. Only a red streak that steadily created a near-invisible puddle on the mahogany table.

"Steve!" The silence and peace Steve found in watching the body was cut short by Bucky's voice.

The Canine glanced to his side, regarding how his head bodyguard rounded the couch and stood before him with one single step.

"What the fuck was that?" The brunette exclaimed, hand motioning to the dead body.

If any other person than Bucky would've done the same thing in this instance, they either would've ended up joining peaceful Mr Jefferson, or they wouldn't work within the Canine empire anymore. However, concerning that it now was his childhood friend staring at him in disbelief, Steve made sure none of the options was carried through.

"Problem-solving", Steve answered, about to take a step forwards but were stopped with a hand planting itself on his chest. He looked down before looking up with a cocked eyebrow.

"That ain't how we solve shit!"

"Not we, but I", Steve said, gripping Bucky's wrist, ripping it away from him. "You see, now both our problems are solved. He doesn't need to fear his cover being blown and I don't need to lose more money". That was all Steve said before taking a step around the brunette, whose eyes had narrowed considerably.

As most of his colleagues trailed after their boss, Bucky stayed back just a second longer, looking at the lifeless body giving a new sheen to the table whilst staining the carpet underneath. He'd known Steve had taken your conference badly and he also knew it hadn't been a good idea to have this appointment so shortly afterwards, especially when it was connected to you, but in such a different way. Still, he hadn't believed it would take this much of a turn.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

"Damn that fucking thing!" Steve roared, not thinking when he swept his hands over his desk. Everything from pencils, an empty coffee cup and other things crashed to the floor. However, it wasn’t solely that which now was littering the ground. The papers of your contract had flown out of the folder as well.

Staring down at the mess of shattered glass and paper from his standing position. The Canine boss felt a sneer enter his features. Ever since returning home late last night, he'd been locked inside his study. Primary because it was the place no one dared to disturb him in, but also because he didn't feel like arguing with Bucky.

He knew that after the stunt, as he knew his friend and bodyguard would label his approach to the Jefferson problem, the brunette wanted to speak with him. Yet, with the residue anger of not only a restless night, one Steve had powered through thanks to copious amounts of coffee. But also the subject now taunting him on the floor, a conversation with his right-hand man would lead nowhere.

He and Bucky didn't often get into fights, but Steve was convinced this was one of the matters that could force such a confrontation. He'd still not gathered his bearings enough to admit that he needed to yield. Because that was what he would need to do.

The mob boss switched from watching the scattered pieces of the contract to instead stare straight into the oaken surface of his desk as he now leant on it, knuckles turning white from how strongly he held the countertop. By now, he'd read through the four-page agreement. Something that was a step in the right, or in Steve's regard wrong, direction.

He didn't want to admit it. But as Bucky had mentioned yesterday, it was a top-certified contract. He couldn't find any loopholes. No grey-zones. No area that he could play you on.

Steve knew that you would be hard to crack, but he hadn't anticipated this.

Despite knowing that you and the Felina empire had overtaken his father's grip on New York, he had underestimated you. A woman running the empire you did was so uncommon he thought you would have some weak spot regarding how you had no one else to look up to. Nor did you have any previous family connections to the underworld. Which honestly made your success even more astonishing.

Almost so much it was questionable if you had done it yourself.

Steve had assumed you hadn't. Someone else must be the brain behind the operation, simply using you as a puppet. However, it seemed he'd made a tremendous mistake by assuming just that. It wasn't anyone else running your empire. You were involved in every little part of the well-oiled machine.

Once more, the canine boss let out an irritated noise, sounding more like a growl than a harsh sigh in his own ears.

He pushed off from the countertop and, in one motion, had side-stepped his chair. Now, with the room behind him, Steve stared out of the windows lining the wall furthest from the entrance. His arms had crossed over his chest and remained there as he stared out at the bay not far away.

Ferries and other boats travelled the waters. Breaking the tension and creating small waves. If it wasn't for this, it almost would've looked like they travelled through the city. Regarding how not only New York's but also Brooklyn's dusk lightning reflected in the water.

When the Canine boss finally felt the sight before him lessened the tension in his shoulders, a knock came from the door.

If his features ever had lightened, the sound immediately beckoned a furrow to take its place. Even more so when the door opened without him having given the person on the other side permission.

He knew who it was, Bucky.

"What do you want?" Steve's voice was cold, harsh.

"I want to speak with you", instantly, the mob boss noticed how his friend's voice didn't carry that joyous tone when he spoke to him as just that, friends. Bur rather the more levelled one, the professional one.

"I won't speak about Jefferson".

"Neither is that why I'm here", glancing over his shoulder upon hearing the rustle of paper, the Canine boss saw his guard pick up the pieces of the contract from the floor. He arranged them before putting them back into the folder. Contrary to how Steve would've caused the map to give away a whack when flinging it onto his desk. Bucky's hand followed through the whole movement. His fingers even resting upon the grey folder as it laid placid on the middle of the counter.

"I'm here to talk about the real problem", Steve turned to face the brunette. He didn't say anything. Still, Bucky knew that having gotten this much attention was a sign he either was about to be shot or given a limited amount to talk.

"I know this is hard for you, Steve... actually scratch that, it is hard for everyone who's supported you. But I'll be damned if you let everything we've worked for go to waste because you don't have it in you to lose a battle in favour of winning a later war"

All of a sudden, Bucky's face twisted as an unexpected crash echoed. His fist had smashed onto the table. Enough for the countertop to rattle.

“I love to give you the most personal advice I've ever had”, he started, not even holding back his pent up frustration. “Sign that fucking contract, pal". The canine boss' blue eyes narrowed as he met the stormy grey ones of the man before him.

"Get out", Bucky clenched his jaw and straightened himself.

"I'll be waiting for the call to come and pick it up", was the last thing the brunette said before swiftly turning on his heel and heading to the door.

Steve followed his oldest friend with his eyes until the door echoes shut behind him. Even after Bucky's footsteps were long gone, did the Canine boss stare forward. He did it simply because he didn't want to let his eyes flicker down to the contract, now turned to the last page where the paper waited for his signature.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

A day later, Steve still stared at the folder resting un-signed on his desk. It was out of pure spite he hadn't signed it. To keep your victory at bay.

Two days later and he felt how the clock on his wall ticked louder than before. How the voices in his head escalated from whispering to shouting at him. 'Sign that fucking contract, pal.'

Three days later and Steve felt how time was running out.

Even if he didn't want to admit it aloud. To not sign would be foolish. Sure, he had the resources to continue this war. Hence, the short extra time the meeting and his delay in signing the contract had abled him to recoup. But still, his empire was lacking a significant piece his father's syndicate had, time. He needed more time to grow but wasn't given that. So yes, he could continue this battle, but he could not win it.

Therefore the mob boss gripped the pen and pressed the ink dipped tip to the dotted line.

His signature was darker than usual. More colour bleeding onto the paper. The curves of the letters were not as smooth as regular either. Instead, straighter, pointier. Forced.

Steve didn't look at his name shining back at him once he raised the pen and put it back in its stand. Instead, Steve stood and dialled a number on his phone. One tone was all it took before the person on the other end picked up.

"Get it out of my sight, Barnes", was all he said before instantly hanging up. The call had lasted four seconds. Even so, Steve deleted it from the history of his 'latest' list.

Shoving the phone into his pockets, the blonde man stood from his chair and headed to the office doors. He didn't look back once at the folder left behind on his desk. Not even when he closed the doors behind him.

Series taglist: @njrronaldo7 @fanfic-love-show @gabycamargo22 @fckdeusername

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shyficwriter · 3 years

Text

Temporary Home: Chapter 17

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: Peter, grasping for straws to remain 'The Prank Master,' thinks he's found a way to annoy you into conceding. Unfortunately, and unbeknownst to him, what he's found is something much worse.

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: Content Warning for descriptions/mentions of PTSD and flashbacks. Also, for my records this chapter ends on day 34 of the Guardians living with reader. Enjoy!

Word Count: 6,761

Red covered your mouth and nose, all over your hand, and a bit on your sheets. You blearily tried to gather your senses, tried to open your eyes against the unforgiving light that blinded you.

Peter stood over you, laughing. Telling you that you got what was coming to you as you groaned.

That fecker had put ketchup in your hand while you slept and then tickled your nose with one of the fuzzy-tipped novelty pens on your desk. The dickhead.

"Ugh! Gross! Dude!?" you complain, sitting up and reaching over to grab the tissues off your desk so you could clean yourself up.

"Serves you right for what you did to me!" Peter countered, gesturing to the blue staining his body. He began to walk out of your room, making sure to let you know that you shouldn't expect the two of you were even.

You roll your eyes and continue wiping the ketchup-y mess off of you. You glance down at your sheets and realized you'd need to wash them today too. Great. Guess this is what you got for sleeping-in.

Once you had finally cleaned yourself up you gathered your sheets to take them downstairs to wash them, but not before making a pit-stop to Peter's room. Wanting to make the trip quick you grabbed the first thing you could find- his comb- and pocketed it. It was about to have a date with some jelly.

As you turned to leave his room you saw Rocket standing in the hall just outside the door.

With a knowing grin he asked, "Whatcha doin' there?"

"Nothing," you answer flatly, gathering your sheets back up.

He let you pass but said, "So I guess I didn't just see you steal Quill's comb, then?" There was amusement in his voice.

"He'll get it back," you answer, not pausing in your walk towards the stairs.

"What do you plan on doing to it?" he asked, intrigued. He had no intents to squeal on you. This prank-y-ness was a side of you he had been pleasantly surprised to see. Much better the the stiff agent-type you usually liked to display. Had he maybe misjudged you?

"The less you know the better," you answered, continuing down the stairs.

No witnesses. Rocket liked your style. Maybe you didn't have such a stick up your butt after all.

***

You threw your sheets in the washer and put the kettle on. It was time to make some jelly.

While waiting for the kettle you grabbed the packet of jelly from the pantry and something quick for breakfast. Deciding on a granola bar, you go to pull one from the box when you also notice that all your spices had been flipped upside down. Obviously Peter's doing. That's also when you remember that you had hidden the rest of the food dye behind the spices, prompting you to give a quick peek to see that the box was still there.

It wasn't.

Peter must have found it while setting up his prank and took them, intent on making the two of you "even."

Crap.

The kettle began to whistle and you pulled yourself out of your thoughts of doom to start fixing the jelly. You could think about the dye later. Right now you had mischief to make.

You mix up the jelly in a glass bowl, adding in an extra packet of gelatin to make sure the shape would hold later. Then, looking around to make sure no one was around, you take Peter's comb out of your pocket and drop it in. The bowl was just big enough for the comb to catch on the sides roughly about halfway deep in the jelly water, so that when you turned it out it would be nicely suspended in the green jelly. You then quickly take the bowl to the fridge to set, burying it in the back on the bottom shelf so it hopefully wouldn't be seen.

Then you simply went about your day as normal.

***

Other than several bad puns, Peter surprisingly didn't attempt much to annoy you that day, and you had no doubts that it was because he was confident that he'd be able to return the favor in dyeing you an odd color when you showered tonight.

Not if you had anything to say about it.

Too bad for him he had no way to know that you knew, and you were confident that you could deal with it when that time came if you paid enough attention. For now you were just going to act none-the-wiser, and accept his invitation to watch a show with the others.

You settled in on the couch and the episode starts. It's a title you haven't heard of before.

Watching it you gathered it was a type of mystery/detective/thriller type that was somehow also a comedy. A detective was accused of killing this old lady, and he was on the run to try and prove his innocence. Lots of action, a bunch of red-herrings, overall not a bad show so far if you had to judge by this episode.

Then there was the end-scene.

The detective finally found the actual murderer, the mayor, and after tricking him into broadcasting his confession over the radio in this abandoned radio station- where he somehow had managed to make a broadcast work- the two fight. Only the mayor has a gun, and the detective's fell into a storm drain two scenes ago.

Through his cunning the detective manages to escape alive, but not unharmed. He's got a compound fracture to his leg. Cops are on the scene and arresting the mayor after surrounding him at gunpoint, and ambulances can be heard in the background.

You feel the hair on your arms stand up.

The sound of the sirens just keeps getting louder.

You swallow, your throat suddenly dry.

They get louder. You look away from the screen into your lap.

All you can hear now is sirens. You don't realize they've already stopped on the screen. There's now instead dialogue, a conversation between characters, but you are unaware of it.

Your hands clench into fists, nails digging into your palms. You fight the images in your head. You don't want to see them. You hear sounds of tearing metal. Sirens. Screaming. Beeping. Your breathing gets shallow and you work to keep it quiet. You had to fight it back. Sirens. Bright lights. Glass shattering. Screaming. Sirens. You keep saying to yourself inside your mind that it's ok. You're ok. But what about-

Kraglin makes a comment to Yondu about something said on screen. You don't hear him. You only hear the sirens. God, why won't they stop? Screeching. Sirens. Blinding lights. Sirens.

Yondu turns to reply to Kraglin, but sees you looking strange. He raises an eyebrow, which Kraglin notices. He follows Yondu's gaze and sees you staring into your lap, body rigid, hands balled tightly into fists. Your eyes are wide, but unseeing. Your jaw is set.

Before either of them can say a word the buzzer on the washer goes off and you seem to jolt out of it, quickly hopping up and making your way out of the room.

Yondu and Kraglin share a look. What was that about?

***

You didn't return for another episode. Instead, you decided it was a nice enough day to hang your washing on the line. It hardly took you any time at all to finish, but you decide to stay outside for a bit anyways. Fresh air and all that.

Everything was fine. You were ok.

When you finally come back in it's well after a suitable lunchtime, and realizing that the only thing you had today was a granola bar, you decide to cut up an apple and sit at the table, scrolling on your phone as you eat.

Yondu comes into the kitchen for a drink and joins you at the table. "Where'd you go runnin' off to?" he asks, "Decide you didn't like the show?" What he really wanted to ask was what had prompted that look in your eyes earlier, but he knew better than to just come out an ask. You'd just deny anything had happened.

"Had laundry to dry," you answer, not looking up from your phone.

"Ya were gone an awful long time for laundry." Yondu said, not missing that you completely ignored his question about the show. But the question still bugged him. He recognized the look in your eyes back then. He remembered sometimes catching it in the eyes of some of the older battle slaves in the barracks when he was younger. It was the look one had when they were flashing back to something horrific they had been through. He and the other younger battle slaves were always told by other elders to leave those be when they were "stuck in it", as they would say. Don't disturb them. They'll come out of it. Nothing for it but to let it pass.

That never did sit right with him.

"It's a nice day. Thought I'd enjoy it," you answered.

Yondu hummed shortly. You weren't giving him anything, and he knew you wouldn't.

He decided not to press it for now, but he could tell something had triggered that response from you, he just didn't know what. He suspected it had something to do with whatever it was that you kept locked away inside. He had clues and suspicions as to what, but of course he couldn't be sure, though he was more determined now than he had previously been to figure you out. Only one thing was certain. You had pain inside you. A lot of it. No one should have to go through that alone.

***

Kraglin, unlike Yondu, wasn't nearly as subtle when he saw you next. However, he wouldn't get any further.

"Mind if I help?" he asked, joining you in the garden where you were pulling a few weeds.

"Go for it," you reply, barely looking up. There weren't many to pull, as it was starting to get cooler lately. You mostly just came out for something to do. Soon it'd be time to harvest the whole garden.

The two of you work in silence for a bit. Then, Kraglin asks, "So, um, was you alright earlier? I mean, saw that ya looked mighty shaken when we was watching that show."

"Don't know what you're talking about," you answer, standing up and tossing the weeds you picked over to the compost bucket.

Kraglin looked up to meet your gaze, frowning. He was about to say something along the lines that you were full of shit, but he stopped himself when he saw your stern expression. You weren't just denying it. With just those few words, combined with the subtly hard look on your face, you were outright telling him that he didn't see whatever it was that he thought he saw.

He exhaled out his nose and just gave you a look that said that he didn't believe you, but he wouldn't push it. He could see that you would just shut him out, and he felt like it wasn't his place to press it.

Suddenly a gunshot rang out, breaking the awkward silence and causing you both to jump.

You sigh, not appreciating the jolt, and said, "Damn hunters."

Kraglin nodded and tried to take this distraction as an opportunity to change the subject. If you wouldn't open up, maybe he could try and make you smile instead. "So... nice job on dyeing Pete blue last night. Real funny."

"I certainly thought so," you said.

He almost thought he saw you crack a smile. Wanting to bring about a full grin he decided to tell a story. "Yeah, it was just like this time Pete rigged a dye pack up in one of Yondu's drawers, I think he mentioned it last night. Anyway, so somehow Pete rigs it up, I think he got mad at Cap'n for making him scrub the grease traps or somethin', but anyway then Yondu goes to open his drawer one mornin,' yeah? And he's blasted in the face with this red dye. Ohhh boy! He was madder than a muzzled Flerken!!"

The mental image was enough to make your lips curl up involuntarily.

Kraglin noted this and continued, "What's worse is he had to meet with some lady client the next day about a job, and he couldn't get it off. He was this funny shade of purple for over a week!"

A short laugh suddenly breaks through your throat and you look at him. "Really?" you ask, mirth in your eyes. The mental image of the blue man looking quite cross and splattered purple while trying to commit space pirate business dealings was a humorous one.

"Yeah. He grounded Pete for so long after that." Kraglin replied, chuckling.

"I'll bet," you say as you stand up and brush yourself off, now finished with weeding and prepared to go inside. "Thanks. For helping in the garden, I mean." you say.

Kraglin also stands. "Not a problem, ma'am."

You wince and shake you head as you turn back to the house. You thought of telling him to knock it off with the 'ma'am' stuff, but you were concerned with what might replace it. So you left it alone for now.

***

You were on alert when you got ready for your shower that evening. You knew Peter had plenty of opportunity to have tampered with your bath products, but you played it cool. Acted unaware.

The plan? Beat him at his own game.

First you turned on the shower and let it run. You cupped your hands beneath the stream to make sure the water wasn't an odd color.

All clear.

You get into the shower, deciding to inspect your shampoo and conditioner bottles first. You felt it was unlikely he'd put it in those, as it would be unlikely to have a decent enough payoff for him, but you still checked just in case. Your shampoo bottle was see-through and the liquid inside clear, so it was obvious it had gone untampered. You went ahead and used it.

Time for conditioner. Unscrewing the top you look inside the conditioner. Completely white. Untampered. Good.

Finally you checked your body wash. It was a rose scented type and was already colored pink. If he was was going to strike anywhere, it would likely be there with the red dye. You squirted a little into a rag to test it on your hip, an inconspicuous area. You didn't even need to use it before you realized you were right. The body wash came out much darker than usual. It was like he hadn't even mixed it. Actually, that's likely exactly what he did. He probably wanted to make sure as much dye got on you as possible and so just squirted it right on top. Just out of curiosity, however, you still tested it.

Yep. It left a red steak right on your hip. You catch a glance at Peter's bottle on the shower shelf, and grin.

Silly Peter. He shouldn't have forgotten his bottle in the shower. Again.

You reach out of the shower for a new washcloth, and use some of his body wash instead. Of course, not before testing it on the first rag to make sure it wasn't left behind on purpose as a trap. It wasn't. The test proved it free of dye and safe to use.

For now.

Once you finished washing you then unscrewed the top off of Peter's bottle and carefully poured in as much of the dye from the top of your tampered bottle as you could without getting it on your hands. You had to sacrifice a little of the soap down the drain just to make sure it would come out clean the next time you used it.

Was he sure to notice? Probably, but you didn't care. You'd be just as happy with the message it would deliver if nothing else.

He was going to see that you were the Prank Master here.

***

Once finished with your shower you retreated to your bedroom. On the way you could hear Peter in his room asking Gamora if she had seen his comb, and you grinned. You sure knew where his comb was.

Mantis is gathering her own stuff together to take a shower when you enter the room. You glance at what she's carrying to make sure she has enough soap. God forbid she might run out and then use Peter's instead of yours. You actually would feel bad if the prank accidentally hit her instead of Peter. Satisfied that she does you shut your door behind her and wait, unable to keep a grin from splitting your face.

Perhaps half an hour later, a good bit after Mantis had returned from her shower, you can hear Peter shouting.

"Are you KIDDING me!?"

Mantis looks towards the sound in shock before turning to see you covering your giggles with your hand.

Now you can hear Peter cursing your name.

"What did you do?" Mantis asks, both intrigued and alarmed.

"He tried to get me back for turning him blue by putting red dye in my soap. I found out and turned it back on him," you answered, nearly stuttering over your giggles.

"How?"

"I just poured the tainted soap into his bottle. Now he'll have been dyed twice." You grinned, but it fell shortly when you heard the bathroom door slam open and heard his footsteps coming in the direction of your room. You jumped up and quickly flicked the lock just before he reached the door.

The knob jiggled and then he started to pound on the door, cursing your name and demanding you come out.

Feeling cheeky, you answered, "Nobody's home!"

From the other side Peter said loudly, "Come out here, you coward!"

"Do you need something?" you ask, your grin wide.

"You. Out here. Now."

"Whatever for?" You're have a real hard time biting back your laughter. Mantis is sitting on her bed, hugging her bear and openly giggling.

"You know exactly what for!"

You look to Mantis. "Should I?" you chuckle.

"YES! You should!" answered Peter from the other side of the door.

"Didn't ask you!" you retort. You look back to Mantis and she nods excitedly. She wanted to see what had happened to Peter.

"Alright," you answer, loud enough for Peter to hear as well. You unlock the door and slowly open it.

You tried to hold it in. Honestly, you did. But the sight of Peter standing there in his pajama bottoms, and now purple where he had previously been blue, and a pinkish-red just about everywhere else you could see, you lost it.

Your laughter, combined with seeing that you didn't have a spec of dye on you, made Peter cry out in frustration. "HOW?!"

"It-It's your fault," you laughed. "You left a trail!"

Peter narrowed his eyes. "I did not leave a trail!"

"You did! I-I saw you had taken the rest of the dye and I knew what you'd do with it. Dude, you- you really should have left the box behind. I might not have noticed then." It was all you could do to say the sentence coherently as you tried to hold back your giggles. "How did you not notice I turned it around and poured it back in your bottle? Don't you look??"

As Peter sputtered indignantly for a reply you noticed that you again had an audience. Yondu and Kraglin stood at the bottom of the stairs, grinning up at the scene and shaking their heads. Rocket and Drax were standing by their room, Drax chuckling with a giggling Groot on his shoulder and Rocket almost looking impressed. Almost. Gamora was standing across the landing, shaking her head, though it appeared more out of second-hand embarrassment for Peter rather than disdain for you.

"Don't I- You- I'm- UGH!" Peter sputtered in frustration. He had half a mind to tickle you until you peed your pants for this- Well, not literally, though he wouldn't be above threatening it. He may be an asshole, but he wasn't 100% a dick. Regardless, the other half of his brain was too busy trying to think of any suitable comeback... and failing. He was The Prank Master! How were you beating him at his game? He glared at you. He wanted to wipe that smirk off your face. "You think you're so funny, don't you?! Just wait. You better watch your back. I'm gonna... I'm gonna..."

"You're not going to do anything, Peter." It was Gamora who spoke now, her tone teetering somewhere between warning and exhaustion, with a hint of amusement buried somewhere in there. "She beat you at your own game. Go to bed."

You couldn't stop the grin that split your face if your life depended on it. You took a calculated step back, hand resting on your door. You put on your most innocent voice. "So..." you started. "Does this mean I'm The Prank Master, now?"

The look in Peter's eyes could have vaporized you. "That's it!" he cried, stepping towards you. He wasn't sure what he'd do when he got hold of you. Hold you in a headlock until you apologized? Wet Willie? Both? Neither? Didn't matter. All he knew was you were going to pay for this.

However, he'd never get the chance. You were too fast, slamming the door in his face and flicking the lock just before he could get near.

You and Mantis doubled over laughing and Peter sputtered some more empty threats before Gamora could be heard scolding him and telling him to go to bed.

It was even better the second time.

***

The next morning you were, dare you say, cheerful.

Peter, less so. He was still a bit cranky that not only had he been the victim of the dye prank twice, just one night after the first, but that it had happened because he tried to get you back and you turned the tables on him. Sure, he had cooled down a bit from last night, but he was still an uneven purple/pinkish-red mess and the others kept snickering at him. Even Gamora had been caught hiding a grin behind her hand a couple of times.

It wasn't fair. He was determined to get you back, but how would-

He spotted something on the kitchen table, interrupting his thoughts. Something shiny, and green, and was that...?

Oh you were going to get it.

***

You were minding your own business, walking over to one of the bookcases in the sitting room, when suddenly you were accosted.

Peter had pulled you into a headlock from behind.

"Hey! What the hell! Let me go!" you demanded.

"Tell me you're sorry and I'll think about it!"

You had a feeling what this was about, but you played dumb. "I'm not going to apologize for turning the tables back around on you! It was your own fault for trying."

"That's not what I mean and you know it!"

You started softly laughing despite the moderate chokehold. You couldn't help it. "Did you- Did you ever find your comb?"

Suddenly you feel something wet in your ear. You knew there was only one thing it could be. "Ew! No! Peter!" you squeal, trying to squirm away. "That's disgusting! Stop it!"

Peter was chuckling now, still giving you a wet willie. "Say you're sorry!"

You jerk against him. "Never!" You were laughing despite really only having one hand to fight him with. The limited range on your brace made it so you couldn't bend your elbow enough to grab his arm with that hand, and you were standing too close to the bookcase to throw him over you and get out of the headlock. Well, too close to do it without hurting him, or your books, that is. You were stuck, but you still weren't going to give in.

Turns out you wouldn't need to.

"Alright. Break it up," came Yondu's voice from somewhere off to the side. "What's going on here?"

Peter released you and you rubbed your ear against your shoulder to get the wet feeling out of it. "She put my stuff in Jello!" he complained.

Yondu gave you a weird, albeit amused look. "Don't ya think ya did enough to him already, missy?" He wasn't scolding you, but he actually was surprised you were still on the attack after having seemingly won the war last night.

Fighting a grin you reply, "In my defense, I'd already done that before the dye thing. I only found out he was planning that afterwards," Technically not the full truth- you actually found out during the setup of the jelly prank, not after, but it was close enough, "and what was I supposed to do, not turn the tables back on him when I found out?"

Peter punches you in the shoulder, but there was no anger behind it, just cheekiness. You stick your tongue out at like a child in retaliation.

Yondu grinned and shook his head. It'd been awhile since he'd seen his boy carefree and goofing off like this, even if he was bickering with you like the two of you were kids. Still, he should maybe try to persuade a stop to the prank war again before things escalated any more and you two killed each other. It'd be a shame to save him from Ego just to let him die in a prank war of all things, and bad form to let him kill their host. "Boy, I think ya might need to accept that she won this round." he said, a hint of teasing in his voice.

"I will do no such thing! She just got lucky." Peter replied.

You smirked. "Yeah. Sure. 'Lucky'," you taunt. "Just say it and I'll call us even."

"EVEN?!" Peter exclaimed. He gestured to the stained purple and pinkish red of the areas of skin you could see. "Look at me!"

Trying not to smile you slowly look down to the brace on your arm. Head cocked to the side your eyes look back to Peter. "You were saying?"

Peter bit his lip and narrowed his eyes. You could tell he wanted to retort with something, but he knew he had no leg to stand on. Eventually he settled for, "I'm still not saying it."

Yondu snorted a laugh. "Whatever it is, just be a man and say it, boy. Quit while yer ahead."

Peter looked at him indignantly. "I am not going to declare her The Prank Master."

Unable to suppress your grin any longer you nudge him in the shoulder and say in your sweetest voice, "It's ok, you don't have to say it," taking a few steps away you add, "We already know." You then jogged out of the way when he made a grab for you.

You made your way out the front door, but he didn't follow, instead just stood there pouting.

"Ya finally gonna give it up, boy? Take yer loss like a man?" Yondu chuckled, teasingly.

"Never." Peter responded, too busy plotting revenge to fully catch the "take it like a man" part as he walked out of the room.

Yondu chuckled and rolled his eyes as he went to take a seat on the sofa. It was nice to see that you had a goofy side, though he wondered if it was Peter rubbing off on you, or if you had just had it buried under layers of stubbornness and sass.

Either way, it seemed certain that the boy was gonna have to relinquish his self-proclaimed title of "The Prank Master."

***

Over the next couple days the pranks between you and Peter had slowed down. This was likely in part because of how you made Peter realize that he couldn't complain too much about getting even for the dye prank if he considered that you were still in a brace as a result from one of his previous pranks gone wrong, but also in part because the two of you had pulled so many pranks so far you were seemingly running out of ideas.

Peter moved the furniture in your sitting room 3 inches to the left, likely to get your back for putting his comb in jelly.

You retaliated by setting up some cling film up at head height in the kitchen doorway for him to walk into and then calling him into the kitchen.

He got back at you by swapping your salt and sugar out, thereby ruining what would have been a perfectly good cup of tea.

For this high crime, you decided to get him back by scrapping out a couple Oreos and filling them with toothpaste. He was most definitely not fond of that one. Called it a crime against nature, and he may have been right, but so was what he had done to your tea.

Other than that, nothing really escalated, well apart from the oreos and tea, that is. The two of you kept making little jabs at each other and annoying one another. Really bad puns, petty insults, that sort of thing.

You did assume, however, that Peter was just biding his time, trying to think of something big that he could spring on you that might make you give up the game and declare him The Prank Master, because gods knew he wasn't going to concede.

And you'd be right.

Peter spent a decent amount of time brainstorming ideas for a really good prank, or even just a decent way to annoy you, in between all the smaller ones, but he was coming up with nothing he deemed quite good enough.

He was about to consider throwing in the towel when you inadvertently provided him with the fodder he needed.

***

It was the fourth day since the first dye prank and most of the dye on Peter had worn off by now.

You were reading on the couch, little Groot was playing with the TV and flipping through random videos on the YouTube app with Drax, and Peter and Kraglin were in the middle of a card game at the table on the other side of the room.

In what you would chalk up to a cruel twist of fate, Groot managed to find his way into a video of ambulance calls.

Rudely and immediately torn from your book by the sound, your hand shoots out for the TV remote and you mute the TV, much to the dismay of little Groot, who had found the noise fun and had been cheering the siren on. As calmly as you can despite your rapid heartbeat, you ask Drax, who was confused by your behavior, to please tell Groot to find something else to watch.

Drax looks at you strangely, but translates for Groot anyway, which again, only sounded to you like he was repeating your words verbatim due to his translator. You still didn't know that the translators didn't actually translate into Groot, but rather Groot had just picked up and could understand a bit of Galactic Standard, even if he couldn't speak it.

Groots looks slightly disappointed for a second but agrees and switches videos and you unmute the TV.

You didn't bother checking what new video he had chosen. That had been a mistake.

After the ad finished playing you were jerked back into reality from your book by the sounds of now multiple ambulance calls going at once. You mute the TV once again and say, "I'm sorry. I should have been more clear. Anything else. Anything else except for videos of that sound."

Drax, rightfully confused, asks, "Why?"

"I do not like it." is all you offer, and you don't elaborate when asked.

Peter, of course, overhears all this, and thinks he's found his new way to annoy you. He of course had no way of knowing the reason you couldn't bare the sound wasn't due to annoyance. He had no way of knowing its effect on you.

***

He tested the waters the next day after lunch.

You were washing up the dishes with Gamora when the sound of an ambulance siren makes you freeze in the middle of drying a bowl.

Gamora turns her head towards the noise and wonders aloud what it was.

Without answering you take towards the direction of the sitting room to, gently, scold Groot for playing those videos again.

Of course, when you get there, you only see Peter, who pretended to be surprised to see you.

"Turn that off," you say sharply.

"What?" Peter asked innocently.

You didn't ask him again. You just grabbed the control and exited the video before throwing the control back down into his lap. "Don't play that again," you warn.

"Why? Does it annoy you?" Peter asked with a smirk. He didn't notice your hands shaking.

Your eyes hardened. "Just don't," you say, returning to the kitchen.

Peter grinned. He was going to have fun with this.

***

Peter would play that sound three more times that afternoon, each time eliciting a more irritated response from you until you finally ripped the plug to the TV out of the wall and turn to him to angrily yell, "Stop it!"

"What?" Peter asked, chuckling in surprise at your latest response. You must really hate that noise.

"You know exactly what. I'm seriously, genuinely asking you to knock it off," you reply.

Gamora, who could tell Peter was working your last nerve and who was also becoming irritated by the repeated playing of the sirens, nudged Peter and told him he had his fun.

Peter half smirked and seemed to relent, saying simply, "Okay."

You sigh. "Thank yo-"

"After you declare me The Prank Master."

Gamora rolled her eyes and propped her head up on the hand resting on the arm of the couch, not wanting to get involved, but inches from yelling at her boyfriend that she was ending the prank war herself.

You were seething. "You're a goddamn child!" you scold, leaving the sitting room and considering getting out some of the vodka you had in the freezer just to calm your nerves.

You had only just made it into the kitchen when the sound started up again.

You back against the wall and cover your face, inches from tears. Your breaths came in shallow gasps as flashes of bright lights and the sounds of tearing metal and screaming fill your senses. You tangle your hands in your hair.

"FUCKING STOP IT!" you scream.

Peter and the others in the sitting room, as well as those upstairs, all paused in shock at the sheer volume behind your scream.

They then heard the sound of the back door slamming forcefully.

Yondu, who had been at the table playing cards with Kraglin, had only been present for the second and last incidence of Peter annoying you with the sound, and it wasn't until now that he put the pieces together. That day when you acted strange and walked out on the show- this siren sound had been playing then too.

Shit.

He got up and scolded Peter, who in his shock still hadn't turned the video back off. "Turn that shit off now, boy! If I hear it again I'm gonna shove my arrow up your ass! You hear me?"

Peter, recognizing the tone in Yondu's voice as one that he had encountered many times as a child when he was in trouble, immediately switched the video off. He had to concede that perhaps he went a little too far this time, but of course he didn't actually understand just how true that sentiment was.

Yondu went to go see where you went, and he didn't need to look very far, which surprised him. He was for sure you would have taken off for the forest again, since it was kinda your thing.

Instead, you were sat with your back pressed against the stone of the house about a couple meters from the door, hand clamped over your mouth and eyes in that terrible 'wide yet unseeing' way. In the dim light provided by what shone out the kitchen windows from inside he thought he could almost see the remnants of fallen tears.

He tried to approach you slowly, but you caught him out the corner of your eye and jerked to a standing position.

"Hey, hey-" Yondu said, holding his hands up. "It's alright-" he started, but then found he didn't know what else to say. After a moment he settled on, "Ya wanna talk about what that was about?"

You don't meet his gaze. "Nothing. He just pisses me off. He's a damn child."

"While that may be true, yer still full of shit."

You glare at him.

He continues. "If this was just about Quill gettin' under yer skin ya wouldn't be shakin' like that, and I doubt you'd be crying neither."

"Am not," you mutter. You turn away, wipe your eyes, cross your arms self-consciously, and start walking away. "It's cold."

Yondu rolled his eyes. It was cool out, yes, but it wasn't that cold. "Ya wanna talk about why ya dislike the particular noise so much?" Yondu called after you. "Ya ain't got to, but I can tell somethin's eating ya. I might help to get it off your chest."

"It's nothing." you reply. "Just an annoying sound."

Yondu frowned. "Now listen here. I ain't gonna force ya to tell me, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let anyone just flat out lie to my face, missy."

You turn to him, indignant. "I'm not-"

"Hell if ya ain't. I've seen that look before, I know what it is. Ya can lie to yerself, but ya can't lie to me!"

You glare at him. "Who the hell do you think you are? Coming in here acting like you know anything about me!"

"I'm the person telling ya that it ain't healthy to keep that shit bottled up inside ya. It'll eat ya alive."

You don't respond. Just roll your eyes and start walking away again.

Yondu threw up his hands. "To hell with you then!" He starts to walk back inside but stops at the door to speak again, this time his tone a little softer, "I have a feelin' no one's ever told ya, girl, but ya don't have to 'be strong' all the time. Sometimes it's ok to let people in. It don't make ya weak." With that he headed back in the house.

You lean your back against the cool stone and sigh in frustration. What did he know.

***

You head back inside a bit later, not feeling much better.

Peter catches you as you're about to head up the stairs. "Hey, I just wanted to say sorry for-"

"Don't." You cut him off, not stoping in your path. "I don't care. I'm going to bed."

Peter frowns, but lets you go. Maybe he could try again in the morning. He truly was sorry. It was just supposed to be a bit of fun.

***

You stared up at the ceiling from your bed for what felt like hours. You couldn't sleep, couldn't stop thinking about it. You knew Peter had no way of knowing why you couldn't stand that sound, but you still couldn't help but be unhappy with him. He just wouldn't stop.

You can feel your jaw clenching with each flash of horrific memory.

You were annoyed at Yondu too. Acting like he knew anything about you or some shit. What did he know? Not you, that's what. You didn't need someone acting like they cared. You didn't need anyone, really. People come, people go. No one stays forever.

You feel your chest clench. Your throat tightens and you sit up. You didn't want to cry.

A walk. That's what you needed. A walk in the forest would surely help wash the memories away. You could walk until you were too tired to think about it, then sleep it off. It would be better in the morning. You'd be ok.

You quietly slip on some jeans and make your way downstairs to put on your boots and grab a jacket. Choosing your thin leather one because it had been chilly when you were out earlier, you open the back door and head out into the cool night air.

You'd find out soon enough that you should have stayed in bed.

#gotg #guardians of the galaxy #gotg fanfic #gotg fanfiction #marvel fanfic #x reader #yondu udonta #peter quill #starlord #kraglin obfonteri

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gotnofucks · 3 years

Text

Prometheus

Pairing: August Walker x Reader

Summary: You disappoint August and must make up for it.

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: Smut, dom/sub themes, language, 18+ ONLY

A/N: This is my entry for the Happy Hoelidays Challenge by @donutloverxo @stargazingfangirl18 and @navybrat817 . You guys are all fucking amazing and I adore you! I chose the prompt “Kissing under the mistletoe” but with a twist. And honestly, this whole fic is a mess. But I hope you’ll find something worthwhile here.

Masterlist

Our love story will not be found in romance books. People like him and I, we don’t exist in rose tinted pages with flowery scents. We are found within the darker pages of horror books, where our love is written with blood and pain, where it’s ghastly stunning in its dangerous beauty. But I promise you, it’s no less beautiful than the walks in a meadow or cuddles in the bed.

We bleed and cry, from eyes and heart. We drown each other deep and deeper still, only to pull back above the surface as we’re about to die. That gulp of air, that’s sweeter than any other, if simply because it’s the one that has us clinging to life.

I like to think that I am Prometheus, and he is my Eagle, sent by the gods to devour me day after day, letting me writhe under him. It’s pain beyond anything, but what most don’t understand is that I need that pain to feel alive. But what if one day Prometheus was left hanging alone, liver intact and no eagle to eat him out?

That would be torture.

I am being tortured.

The whip in his hand cracked on skin and I choked on a sob. The sharp swish of the whip parted the air again and crashed on the skin with precise intervals, creating a crisscross of welts like a painter does his design. The blue in his eyes was clouded by the deep, boiling waves of anger and disappointment.

I could take his anger, but never his disappointment.

His anger meant punishment, it meant retribution. His disappointment meant distance, it meant betrayal. And here I was, Prometheus who disappointed his eagle and now watched that beak bite on someone else’s liver.

She took his hits gracefully, only small whimpers escaping her as his whip landed on her bottom. They left marks on her skin, but they seared my heart. People say nothing hurts more than being punished this brutally. They know nothing. Nothing of the pain of watching someone else take your pain, your punishment. People don’t know the torture of being tied down and being made to watch your master pour his anger into someone else.

I closed my eyes at the scene, incapable of watching more. It was more than my heart could take. I had promised to take his love and his hate, his sweetness and his poison. And to have someone else cry under him, wear marks on her body that should have decorated me left me more broken than any of his toys would have done.

“Please sir” I begged, “No more.”

His eyes were on me the entire time, even as he had someone else at his mercy. He cocked his head to the side, looking at me naked and tied up, balancing on my knees. He came closer and lifted his booted leg to part my thighs with it, an unreadable look in his eyes.

“Melly, leave.” He ordered the other girl. She swiftly got up and left without a word, just happy to be of service when required. I raised my eyes to his, pleading, begging. His large hand traced the curve of my cheek before dropping to the collar on my neck, playing with the charm that dangled on the front.

AW’s Princess

“I should take this away” August said, and I jerked as if I had been electrocuted. I shook my head, hair falling away from the elastic that secured them. He couldn’t take away my collar. No, he simply couldn’t.

“Please, no sir. I am sorry.” I sobbed.

To me, this collar was a symbol of ownership. Of being claimed by August Walker, being his. I would never trade this for a wedding ring, for this was more sacred to me. It sat on my neck, over my pulse, beating with the blood that pumped under it and reminded me that every breath I take belongs to him. That I chose to surrender my life living at his feet.

“What are you sorry about, Princess?” He asked me. Before I could answer, he was walking away to pull from his drawer a bowl and his trusted vibrator, and the sight of it made my thighs tremble.

“I am sorry for lying to you sir.” I replied. He hummed, coming to kneel before me, placing the bowl between my parted thighs and opening me wide with two fingers. I gasped, mouth parted as he touched me most intimately, his fingers that easily pulled the trigger of a gun running gently along my spongy walls to create an explosion no less than a gun shot.

He followed every pant that fell from my mouth, observed every twitch that showed on my face and drank in the fluttering of my lashes. Whenever I would turn my face he would tut, forcing me to look at him.

“How did it feel when I hit Melly instead of you?” He asked me, and slowly started to insert the vibrator inside me. I sucked in a breath, wincing at the stretch before answering.

“It hurt sir, it hurt so much.” I whimpered, tears shining in my eyes before dropping to my cheeks.

August leans back once the vibrator is completely in me, my juices dripping out from around it. Cupping my face gently, he brushed a soft kiss on my forehead, like the brush of angel wings and the slightest nip of Death’s scythe at once.

“You hurt me too.” He whispered. The darkness in his eyes had me shivering, both from fear and arousal. Being with August felt like standing on a cliff, every moment terrified that a strong gust of wind would have me pummeling to the ground. But when one wants to fly, even falling becomes a kink. How long does the fall last, and when you do hit the ground, how good does it hurt?

It hurts like heaven.

“You will fill this bowl with your cream” He ordered, “You will drip into it, and as you do, you’ll tell me where you went wrong. Apologize to me like you mean it, give me a reason to have you at my feet.”

He started unbuttoning himself and with every new inch of him revealed to my hungry eyes, I dripped. I clenched around the vibrating toy inside me, moaning softly. This is how completely he owned me. The eagle was going away, and it was up to Prometheus to seduce him to come back, to convince him to eat that liver one more time, that the taste it worth it.

“I am sorry sir, I lied to you. I didn’t tell you where I was going.” I started. He continued undressing, languidly tossing aside his clothes to unveil the scarred flesh underneath. I could tell every battle he’d ever fought by tracing the hardened marks over his body. Sometimes when he would let me, I’d trace the scars of his heart too, feeling the hurt and loss that lingered in their ridges.

“Where did you tell me you were going, Princess?” He asked me, sitting naked in front of me on a chair. Easy, confident.

“To the movies with my friends.” I lowered my eyes, ashamed of myself for lying to a man who can see through anyone and anything.

“And where did you actually go?”

I bit my lip, knowing I had disappointed him. He required nothing from me but trust and honesty.

“To see my family.” I whispered.

He shook his head, a sneer curling under his mustache. His gaze bore into me with a force that had me gushing in the bowl and he scoffed. The control he had on my body without even touching it was almost embarrassing. He got up to stand in front of me, his hard length so near to my face if I poke my tongue out, I’d be able to lick him.

“Your family” He spat the word like it was poison. “Why don’t I like it when you go meet with them Princess?”

“Because only you’re allowed to hurt me sir.” I answered.

August was not a nice man, he was not someone you mess with. He got off on pain and terror, on instigating fear in those around him. But when it came to me, only he is allowed to hurt me. He will whip me and spank me, tie me and choke me, but woe betide anyone who so much as hurt a hair on my head. Which is why I didn’t tell him I was meeting my family.

Every meeting with them came out the same way. Me in tears after a shouting match. For someone who had never managed to quite fit in anywhere, my only solace was August’s arms. And those arms would pound anyone to pulp if I cried tears that were put in my eyes by anyone but him. Fucked up? Maybe.

“Why did you go?” He asked, brushing the tip of his cock on my face, smearing his cum and marking me. The natural musk of him filled my nose and I leaned forward to have a taste when he moved away, wagging a finger in warning.

“It was Christmas.” I pathetically said.

August smirks, his eyes falling on the bowl between my legs that had collected my slick. He exhaled, kneeling before me and pulling out the vibrator with a pop, instead replacing it with his fingers that had me struggling in my restraints.

“And you thought I wouldn’t celebrate Christmas with you?” He asked me and flicked his fingers on my hardened nub that had me cumming into the bowl. His name was like a chant on my lips and I begged him to set me free, to hold me again.

He took away the bowl and put it on the bedside table, coming back to finally release me from the ropes that bound me. Carefully picking me, he dropped me on the bed and smirked nastily.

“I even got us mistletoe. I was going to hang it on the door and surprise you with it, but since you’ve chosen to be a bitch today, I’ve found another place for it.” Saying this he pulled out a bundle of mistletoe and held it over his cock, looking expectantly at me.

“W-what?” I sputtered.

“You’re supposed to kiss it sweetheart” He mocked and came closer, slapping me across the face with his dick. I blinked at him before licking my lips and taking him in my mouth. His familiar taste and thickness made me feel at home, and I sucked and slurped, trying to show him how sorry I truly was.

His hand tangled in my hair and pulled me along, bobbing me up and down his length, one hand still dangling the mistletoe over my head. I relaxed my body, letting him guide me as he wanted. My love was my apology, and this was my repentance.

“I had planned a fun night with you” He snarked, sitting deep inside my throat, “I got you a fucking tree and presents. Thought we’d watch a movie. But all that romantic bullshit doesn’t work for us, does it?”

His pace increased as did my moans. I held onto his thick thighs that had more than once choked me. He may have all the power over me, but I reveled in that just the same.

“We don’t make love beside the fireplace darling, we burn ourselves in the fireplace, surrounded by the flames of passion and lust that run in you and me.”

His words heated me up and I doubled my efforts, taking him deeper and looking into his eyes, letting him speak to my soul as he owned my body. He tensed and twitched, warmth pooling in my mouth and down my throat and I smiled when he pulled away. My jaw ached a little, but pain was an old friend.

“That was quite a kiss” I said, and he chuckled, pushing me down to lie on my back.

“It’s not over by a long shot.” He said and taking the bowl with my cum he dripped my essence over my bare chest and belly. My skin broke out into gooseflesh as the cold liquid hit me but just as soon it was followed by the warmth of his tongue, sucking me, tasting me.

This is what being worshiped felt like. In chains and in pain, and yet the object of desire and love. When one slap meets your cheek, the following caress feels just that much softer.

August rolled on his back, smearing the rest of my cum over his own chest. I leaned over him, tongue gliding through his hair and veins, dipping into deep scars and damaged tissues. His voice rose in a crescendo, cock hardening again and as I licked, I climbed over him, aligning myself and bringing him home with one thrust.

“Fuck” He whispered, mouth meeting mine in a kiss, sinful and dirty. He kissed me like the Angel of Death serving me the elixir of life. I bounced on him, rode him like he was the stairwell that would take me to heaven. His smell, his taste, the feeling of his rippling flesh and the dominance in his eyes set fire to my veins. I clamped hard on him, sliding my damp body over his as I crashed and fell apart.

His hips kept pushing up, going hard enough as if trying to come out of the other end. Nails dug into the flesh of my thighs as he kept me steady over him, pumping into me until I felt him release inside. We fell into a tangle of limbs, a sheet lazily pulled over my bruised body. That was the thing with August, when he hurt me it left a mark on the outside, but never inside.

“I love you” He softly panted in the crook of my neck. I turned over and clung to him, pulling him close in my embrace. Prometheus needed his Eagle to feel alive, and the Eagle needed Prometheus to sustain. Neither is complete without the other.

“I love you too”

Permanent Tags: @what-is-your-wish @shooting-star-love @stanmysoul @sweeterthanthis @muralskins @rayofdawnworld @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @donutloverxo @angrythingstarlight @rockyrogers @slothspaghettiwrites @nerdygirl8203 @firebolt99

Henry : @agniavateira

#happyhoelidays2020 #august walker x reader #august x reader #august walker #henry cavill x reader

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its-deputy-caleb · 3 years

Note

hello! can i have some touch starved micah with a gentle and caring fem or gn reader?? thank you :))

omg yess anon, u can have touch starved micah any day! now ngl its like 3AM and i decided to write these after such a long day so this probs makes no sense and i didn't like the way they turned out at all so i might fix it up later

but still please enjoy this mess and a friendly reminder to anyone that reads this that my rdr requests are still open (but dw there's still more to come) i'm just really enjoying getting back into red dead!!

------------------------------------------

It had been a relatively long night for Micah, or so you’d noticed as you watched him leaning against a tree for almost the entire afternoon and long into the night, just sharpening his knife and mumbling under his breath.

You knew something was bothering him and apart of you couldn’t help but be a little worried and it wasn’t because of the robbery you have with him the next day. No, deep down you had a soft spot for him.

But Micah Bell had his walls up high even around someone like you who is one of the few people he considers a friend. Talking to him, little alone approaching him is more of a challenge than a bet in five finger fillet and you had an inkling that he’d appreciate being alone.

So with a heavy sigh you stood from your place at the campfire, bid the last few remaining members a goodnight and headed towards your tent— there needed to be one of you with at least four hours of sleep, otherwise you’d never be able to pull off this robbery.

As you turned around to close the flaps in your tent, you couldn’t help but notice Micah’s gaze directed at you and it had been since you stood to leave. When your eyes met his own and you gave a soft smile he immediately turned his attention back to the knife and whetstone in his hand, hiding how flustered he was under the brim of his hat.

You waved goodnight to him but of course he didn’t see it, he wouldn’t dare look your way until he knew for certain that you wouldn’t catch him doing so. In all the time you’ve gotten to know Micah, you’ve seen him argue, fight, yell and even flirt with the gang members and total strangers but you’ve never seen him flustered or nervous quite like the way he is with you.

The thought makes you giggle as you settle into bed, you could only guess that he likes you but to say that you hate the idea would be a lie.

The next morning you were walking through camp with a cup of coffee in your hand as you went to find Micah and prepare for the coach that was coming in from Annesburg. It wasn’t difficult to find him since he was still leaning against the tree, the only real point of difference was his slightly slumped posture and obvious bags under his eyes.

“Here, I thought you might want this after last night.”

He stares numbly at the cup of coffee you’re holding out for him to take. He seems almost startled out of his thoughts at the first person that’s actually approached him in hours.

“I don’t like coffee.”

“—Half of its filled with whiskey.”

One of Micah’s typical sly smirks comes to rest on his face, one that’s laced with over confidence so that he can put his walls up higher and keep everyone thinking that he’s not trying to downplay whatever’s bothering him.

“You know me too well, sweetheart.”

However, you’re not just anyone and happen to see straight through his charms. When you place the cup in his hand you instantly notice the way he seems to tense up when your hand lightly brushes his. You couldn’t help but think the soft sound that left him was, for lack of a better word...cute.

His hand instinctively reaches forward into you more before pulling away to fiddle with the cup.

“Common now, I need you feeling sharp for this robbery and its a long ride to Annesburg from here.”

The tension leaves him when he realises you’re not going to push for answers or make a scene and he’s clearly comforted by the small smile you’re giving him.

The robbery as a whole goes fairly smooth. The coach guards were easy to take down with there being only three of them plus a driver. The issue arrived when the law showed up and there was a hell of a lot more than three.

The coach had been flipped at this point, the horses well and truely bolted but it offered the cover you needed in order to take out the flock of lawman.

Standing beside you, you can’t help notice how Micah seems completely out of it. You’ve seen him at his best, just how well he can shoot during a gunfight. Hell at Blackwater you saw him take out at least twenty pinkertons before you all even made it off the boat. No, the Micah standing beside you could barely even aim straight.

Eventually, the coast is clear— it took a while but the shooting finally stopped and left only silence as Micah went over to crack open the safe containing the payroll.

“Oh shit—“

Before you know what you’re doing, you take three quick steps forward and push Micah as hard as you can against his side. He hits the ground with a loud thud but you don’t stop to think about it as you fire your revolver at the lawman who’d managed to sneak up on you.

You don’t take your finger off the trigger until there’s no more bullets left in the chamber and the lawman is well and truly on the floor. You holster your revolver before turning around and offering an arm out for Micah to take, who is still sitting in the dirt with a stunned look on his face.

“Are you alright?”

You gently hoist him up and squeeze at his hand in hopes that he’ll understand just how worried you are about him right now.

Micah doesn’t give you a verbal response, instead choosing to groan but you didn’t mind, you suspect that his ego took more bullets than the lawman had. That didn’t mean you didn’t miss the way his hand squeezed yours back tightly.

“Oh Jesus, you’re bleeding!”

It seems Micah himself hadn’t even noticed the vibrant red stain of blood on his already dirty white pants.

“It’s just a graze, ain’t nothing to worry about.”

Unfortunately you don’t have time to argue with him about as he’s already loading up the cash onto Baylock before saddling up himself.

“Fine, but yer letting me patch you up when he get back to camp.”

To your surprise Micah actually follows you to your tent so you can at least bandage and disinfect the wound but that doesn’t mean he isn’t gonna put up a fuss. It takes you a good ten minutes just to get his pants off so you could clean it and it takes you even longer to place your hands anywhere near him.

“I can wrap my own damned bullet wound!”

You stare at him with an eyebrow raised, watching as he has an internal battle with himself on whether to push you away like he does everyone else, or to cave and let you in.

“Alright then, I’ll leave you to it.”

You decide to call his bluff, placing the bandages on the crate beside your bed before dusting yourself off and standing to leave the tent, only to be stopped by a hand on your wrist. Finally, you see something snap inside him and he sighs, almost defeatedly.

“Please stay…”

You pick the bandages and the old rag back up and sit back down on the edge of the cot. He jumps slightly when your hand is placed on the outside of his upper thigh, just under where the graze has torn the skin.

“Relax Micah, it’s okay.”

Micah is staring up at you with hopeful eyes as he leans on his elbows on the cot. You give him a reassuring smile but he only starts to really relax when your hand moves in slow circles against his thigh.

After the old rag has been drenched in whiskey you, offer him an apology before placing it over the wound to disinfect it. Micah hisses through his teeth and falls flat against the cot, trying not to bite his tongue off at the sharp burning feeling that’s travelling up his leg.

When his wound has been properly cleaned and bandaged, you lean forward and take his chin in your hand and guide him to look at you.

“Now was that so bad?”

Your eyes stare into his icy blue ones and you notice just how tired he seems. You decide to make a decision before second guessing yourself and lay down next to him on the cot that’s too small for the two of you to really fit on it.

Nevertheless your arms come to wrap around him in a tight hug. He tenses again but only for a moment before melting into you, exhausting clearly winning out.

Your hand comes to tangle in his hair and gently massage his scalp before placing a soft kiss to his forehead.

“Is this why you’ve been acting so off recently?”

Micah nods into your shoulder, more relaxed than ever now that he’s receiving the affection and intimacy he’s been craving for months now. He’ll probably beat himself up later over a bottle of whiskey for being so needy, but right now he couldn’t care less.

“Micah, when was the last time you had a hug?”

Your question is soft, non judgemental as you gently detangle his hair from where there are small knots. This time, there’s no answer and he only sinks further into your arms around him, as if he’s trying to literally avoid the question.

It doesn’t take a genius however to guess how long its been.

“Hey its alright, it doesn’t have to be like that anymore.”

His head comes up from your shoulder instantly, a desperate and hopeful look in his eyes. Your noses are almost touching and you can feel his slightly shaky breathe as he attempts to calm his nerves.

You lean forward slowly and place a soft kiss to lips, feeling him smile against you. His moustache manages to tickle his top lip and you can’t help but giggle which only makes the two of you smile more.

That night, Micah finally gets a good night’s rest with his head resting upon your shoulder. He’s lulled off by your hand rubbing slow circles into the back of his neck and soft but frequent forehead kisses.

He’s just about to doze off into a peaceful sleep when he feels you whisper against his skin,

“I love you Micah, just relax and get some sleep now”

The next morning he’ll wake up from one of the best sleeps he’s had in a long time knowing you held him all night.

#touch starved micah is my fav #soft rat 🥺🥺🥺#but im also so tired and this is a whole mess #this isn't even remotely edited #so i apologise #micah bell #micah bell x reader #micah bell imagine #rdr2 writing #rdr2 headcanons #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2

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widow-maximov · 3 years

Text

It's You

Pairing: Wanda x Fem Reader

Warning: Language, some fluff and angst, sexual suggestion.

Summary: Y/n thinks she has met the one until she joins the Avengers..

Word Count: 6.9K

Part 1, Part 2

4 hours later

You jumped up from the nightmare that has been triggered by the hospital room, from the fear you startled Wanda who you been sleeping on. Your breathing increased as you stared at the window in front of you where once Wanda and Vision was.

Wanda’s hand was on your back to calm you down which you didn’t notice until she spoke up “Everything is okay.. Deep breaths Y/n” Her hand ran up and down your back which helped.

From the nightmare and fear that filled your eyes, you didn’t feel that you teared the stitches and reopening the wound, bleeding again, until Wanda tried to slowly pull you back into her, when you jerked from the pain.

Her eyes widen at your pained face when she looked over, the clothes you were wearing were soaked with blood, that’s when she screamed “Someone help!”

You was riddled with pain that was coursing your body, you tried to hold where it hurt but the more you touched the more it hurt, your hands covered in your own blood. Before you could bleed out and loose consciousness on your own, Dr Cho walked in to see you in pain and blood seeping out of you again, she quickly grabbed some gloves and a needle.

Wanda was observing her with so much worry “What are you going to do to her?” Wanda’s question wasn’t in any way disrespectful but more laced with fear.

Cho didn’t answer her as she stuck the needle into your arm and inject a substance to which you reacted within seconds, the hand that Wanda was holding suddenly went limp and you riddled with pain turned to peace as your body relaxed and you was unconscious.

That’s when Dr Cho answered “I needed her to stop moving or she would reopen her wounds more than now.” She looked at Wanda, and then reached over to where your bleeding, she looked at the stitches which are now all lose and some are even snapped.

She looked at Wanda “You need to leave” Wanda couldn’t believe her right now, she wanted to stay with you and she was going to cause a scene but she needed her to stitch you up so she obeyed Helena and walked out.

Her hands covered in your blood, she walked out, not expecting anyone that’s when in the corner of her eye, she saw Natasha. She looked over at the woman who was on the floor with her head down.

Natasha looked up in the door’s direction and her eyes fell on Wanda’s blooded hands, she felt like her heart stopped but Wanda spoke before anything “She’s fine, just some issues with stitching”

Natasha let out a breath that she was holding back, giving a nod. Wanda sat down next to Natasha on the floor and questioned “Why are you still here?”

Natasha didn’t even look up and spoke without missing a beat “I’m worried just like you”

Wanda’s eyes never left Natasha’s side profile “Lying could fool everyone but me”

That’s when Natasha looked over “My thoughts are for me and only me” her words were surrounded with a little bit of anger.

Wanda smiled a little “Not when they are this loud”

Natasha ran her hands through her red smooth hair “I know she has a girlfriend but there is something about her that just makes-”

“-You want to be around her all the time?” Wanda finished, earning a shocking nod from Natasha.

“You too, huh?”

The witch looked ahead at the wall and just plainly said “Yup” popping the p.

That’s when the silence fell between them, neither knowing what to say so Wanda naturally changed the subject from admitting their feelings to something else “You know my powers don’t work on Y/n”

Natasha leaned on her hand which was leaning on her knees as she stared at Wanda “Really? How do you know?”

“I can never hear her thoughts, and today I tried to erase any nightmares so she’s able to finally rest but she still woke up from nightmares which is what caused her stitches problem”

“She’s even more special than we thought” Wanda nodded with a hum as an approval.

There was silence again but the Sokovian stood up “I’m going to take a shower and maybe sleep, let me know when she wakes up but be by her side”

Natasha nodded, not really sure to why the witch suddenly wants to leave your side, but she is willing to let her rest whilst taking care of you “Of course”

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Waking up again with more pain than before was worse, your eyes searched for the witch but was met with the badass Widow instead, you smiled at her sleeping, she was leaning against the wall in the chair, instead of placing her head on the bed near you.

Her mouth was hanging open a little which was cute, you would be lying if you said that you didn’t like Nat as well but the feelings for Wanda seems to be stronger.

“Hey sleeping beauty” You spoke, your voice was raspy from being passed out for so long.

Natasha’s eyes opened so fast at the sound of your voice, it was slightly concerning but her fast movement towards you to hug you was distracting “Y/n! Thank god”

You looked around still with fear which Natasha noticed “What’s wrong?”

You looked back and took a deep breath “I don’t want to be here.. It reminds me of my past and its freaking me out” You paused, trying to keep your tears in “I just want to go home”

That’s all Natasha needed, she stood up with a blink of an eye, you looked confused at her “What are you doing?”

She didn’t answer but she opened the door and just simply shouted “Dr Cho!”

Within seconds, Helen walked in as she rolled her eyes at the Widow which caused a glare from the red head “Why did you call me here?”

Natasha closed the door slowly and leaned against it as she crossed her arms “Y/n is going home”

She just bluntly said it, it wasn’t a question but more of a demand “It’s best if she stayed”

That’s when Natasha’s soft look turned into the deadliest glare you had ever witnessed, if looks could kill Dr Cho wouldn’t be here right now “I don’t think you understand Helen, Y/n is going home”

You could literally hear the silence, you could see Helen being a little scared of the woman in front of her so she just simply agreed “Y-yeah okay.. Let me just give her some painkillers so she’s able to walk out of here”

And just like that her deadly glare turned to a smile as she walked over to you and Helen to the needle, she put her gloves on and took some substance, she gently stuck it inside you and injected just enough so you’ll be able to go home.

“When she gets loopy, then she can go home” Helen spoke and quickly walked out, leaving you and the redhead alone.

“I’ll get Wanda to take you home, I still have some many paper work to do here but I will come to check up on you” Natasha spoke with sadness in her eyes but when mentioning visiting that sadness disappeared.

You nodded and she stood up as she walked to get Wanda, you could feel your anxiety slowly increase but you closed your eyes and slowly started to count up. Sometimes this method worked to calm you down but sometimes it failed horribly, before you knew it, Wanda rushed in and your loopy state kicked in.

“Ooooh its the redhead!” You slurred your words which caused a little laugh to escape her perfect lips.

“Come on, let’s get you home” She spoke with a smile across her face at the sight of you in a better mood.

You slowly sat up with minimal pain but you could easily ignore it, Wanda held your clothes as she placed them down and turned around “Change your clothes and we can go”

She walked over to the window and closed it so people who walk past can’t see you, she peeped through it until you finished “Okayyy, doneee redhead!”

The witch span on her hill and looked at you with a smile “I’m actually a brunette”

You gasped “My whole life is a lieee!”

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You leaned against Wanda when walking up to your apartment, she was exhausted as you couldn’t remember where you lived at first but thank god there was an address in your bag.

“Are we there yettt?” Your state only got worse the longer yous took to get there.

Wanda rolled her eyes and shook her head “Nearly there Детка (baby)”

“Yesssss (???)” You tried to say Детка (baby) but it was a complete fail which had Wanda laughing so hard.

Wanda holding you this close, had some not so innocent thoughts enter her mind but your loopy state kept her at bay, she opened your door and walked inside, making quite a noise, especially with you not looking where you are going.

“Home sweetie home..” You paused with a frown “No.. that doesn’t sound right”

Wanda suppressed a laugh “Home sweet home, not sweetie, darling”

Which caused you to point up with joy “Yes! That’s it. You are so smart” Just like that the door to your shared bedroom opened and Olivia walked out, looking tired and confused at what she witnessed.

You looked over as you redirected your finger towards Olivia “Look its my girlfriend!”

Wanda shyly smiled, forgetting that you lived with her, she awkwardly stood there but spoke up when she realised that Olivia was awaiting an explanation “Y/n was shot couple of times and had a surgery so she’s under a lot of strong medication, I just took her back home”

“Alright...” She just stared at the witch which only made Wanda question Olivia more, this wasn’t the reaction she was expecting. If Olivia was your girlfriend, she should’ve been more worried than she herself was the moment you lost consciousness.

Your eyes widen at a thought “You should marry me Oliv” You blurted out as you smiled at your girlfriend, to which Wanda dryly swallowed and plastered a fake smile.

“Of course baby, we will get married, now lets get you to bed” Olivia spoke with such a fake smile as her eyes darted towards Wanda to see her reaction to which she didn’t get.

“Well.. Y/n I should get going, rest well Детка (baby)” Wanda directed herself towards you to which she earned a big smile from you as you threw yourself at her.

“Yes, you too (???)” Speaking Russian wasn’t your strong suit so you was adorably failing.

Wanda left after saying her goodbye to you and Olivia, leaving you which she didn’t want. She wanted to stay with you there so you would have some support especially since you wasn’t receiving it.

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You opened your eyes and looked around, relaxing immediately at the familiar room, you’ll have to thank Natasha for saving you and Wanda for actually putting up with you.

You looked over to see an empty place where your girlfriend would be, with pain in every place of your body, you dragged yourself out of bed and downstairs to where you smelt food. If you wasn’t injured you would’ve been there in a blink of an eye.

You walked in the kitchen to see your girlfriend cooking, it was definitely a good sight from the behind so you took your usual place and spoke up “Good morning”

She turned her head towards you “Morning, are you no longer loopy?”

You leaned on your hand as you watched her “No, I’m officially all in pain”

She placed a plate in front of you and leaned on her hand to watch you “Did you mean what you said last night?”

Her question stopped you in the tracks, if she asked you that before you joined the Avenger, you wouldn’t hesitate but you thought this would be easier than telling the truth “Of course, I want you to marry me. This wasn’t how this was suppose to go but I do want this”

She smiled at you and nodded “Okay”

You looked confused with a frown “Is that how you accept my proposal?”

She laughed “Yes, I will marry you”

You smiled at her laugh “If I could I would hug you but If I move right now I will die of pain”

She made her way towards you with a little smirk “Mm, it’s okay” She paused as you turned your body towards her, she stood in between your legs and leaned down to your ear “We should celebrate”

She pulled away and kissed you hungrily, the more you moved the more pain you felt, you tensed at the pain which caused Olivia to move from your mouth to your neck as she mumbled against it “I want to scream your name”

Usually this would turn you on but it just wasn’t it so you did what you thought was best. Faked your pain, of course you was in pain but you made sure to make it sound worse than what it already is, you gripped where the bullet was and you whined in ‘pain’ causing her to stop and look at you.

“Sorry, it just hurts too much” You spoke lies so easily when before it would’ve been harder to do that.

She gave you a dry smile and nodded “It’s okay, eat up” with that she just walked away to where she was before and started to clean up a little.

You still didn’t speak to her ditching you on your anniversary so you thought it would be best to just do it now than wait out, taking a deep breath “Can we talk?”

She hummed but didn’t turn around so you continued “Why didn’t you want to spend our anniversary together?”

She didn’t show any care as she continued doing whatever she was doing “I already told you, I had plans for that day”

You narrowed your eyes at her “So what? You just forgot about our anniversary”

She turned around to face you “No and that’s why I didn’t want to spend it with you at first but you made such a fuss so I wanted you to come with me but you stormed off”

“The only reason to that was because you disregarded me so I left to prevent anything more”

She walked up to you again as she cupped your face with both of her hands, making you look at her “I’m sorry, but now we can just focus on our wedding okay?”

It was strange how easily she forgave you, usually she would stand her ground and try to prove her point but now she just was okay with it? It did hurt you that she didn’t want to spend your anniversary together but obviously that wasn’t the deal with her.

“Besides its a good time to sue” She spoke with a hint of joy in her eyes.

“Sue? Sue who?” You asked, being confused to why suddenly this was brought up.

“The Avengers, you were injured and now you can sue them for this and gain so much money.”

Ah, so money its something she wanted, so you spoke up “Why would I want to sue my family?”

Yes you were injured but by your choice, you knew what you was getting into the second you took that place they offered you which made her speak up “Family? I’m your family, they are people who put you in danger so it’s common sense you take what’s rightfully yours”

“I knew what I was getting into Olivia, It’s not their fault to what happened to me so I won’t be suing them” You moved away as her hands dropped.

She nodded with a fake smile “Okay, well I have to go to work” And walked off towards your bedroom to get changed and leave, you sat digging into the food you had, she walked past you and just walked out, you sighed and ran your hand through your hair.

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1 week later

You was scrolling through your phone, looking at engagement rings, the whole team already knew about your proposal as you informed them, they celebrated even if you weren’t there, but Natasha and Wanda weren’t too happy about it.

You bought one of the rings as they were suppose to be delivered today, but you still looked at others just in case you didn’t like the one you bought. The door rang and you stood up from the couch with so much pain. You opened the door and took the package, walked inside and started to open the package, you looked at the ring and there was doubt.

You didn’t want this, you only did this because you thought this was right.. But it really wasn’t. You knew what you had to do next, you sat down on the couch with the little black box that held the ring and waited for Olivia.

Obviously you didn’t just sit still for hours on end waiting for her to come back but you kept yourself occupied until she was back, you spent your time messaging Natasha as Wanda was on a mission and was back later on.

Natasha was sending you some videos of the team and how she was crashing them in some game they chose to play, she turned the phone so it faces her face as she spoke “Wish you was here Y/n, games aren’t the same! You better get well soon Y/n/n”

The video ended and you smiled at her being so caring, she had her own nickname for you and she was the only one who could use it, there was an incident where Clint used it to take the piss to which he ended up in a bruised face, ever since no one messed with Natasha.

You sent a picture of yourself smiling and sending it to Natasha which you get an immediate response with a picture as well but with text instead “Is that a bruise under your eye?”

Your eyes widen at what she said, you totally forgot why you sent half face pictures. Of course you and Olivia gotten into an argument over her pushing you to sue the Avengers again which you refused and that ended up with her throwing a cup towards you, you was suppose to move out of the way but you didn’t even notice her throwing it at you when you looked, the cup collided with your face, leaving a mark.

You placed your phone as Olivia walked through the door, she dropped her bag and walked over to you with a huge smile on her face “I have newss”

You held the box in your hand, looking down at it but she continued “This better not be the engagement ring, after you sue them we will go and buy me a big diamond ring”

That’s when you snapped “No we won’t” you looked at her and her smile fell.

“I’m breaking up with you” That’s all you said and you stood up, limping your way towards the bedroom, you pack some stuff of yours, she followed you.

“What do you mean? We are suppose to get married in 4 weeks”

You shook your head and took the bag you packed as you faced her “No, you wanted to have the wedding in 4 weeks, I wanted to wait a little longer, you haven’t respected any of my input and I have enough of it”

You pushed your way towards the front door, she spoke from behind you “I do respect your decisions but I just want the best for you”

You stopped and looked at her “And I know what’s best for me, and this relationship definitely isn’t. You never respected what I said, the Avengers did though, They never pressured me. I will get my things soon”

Olivia raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms but you took your phone and just walked out, you made your way towards your car, you were no where near cable of driving but you needed to just get away from her.

You drove towards the tower as best as you could, surprisingly you made it without crashing, taking your bag and limping your way towards your room, you made it through to where everyone was having fun, you walked through and when you were spotted you went back in time, and just did that until you made it to your room.

You placed your bag and just sat down, looking at your phone being blown up by Olivia’s texts. You chucked your phone onto your bed and made your way towards Wanda’s room.

You sat there and waited for her to return back from the mission, there was a mirror in front of you, you looked at yourself and just saw the slowly fading bruise, the more you looked at it the more you didn’t feel anything towards Olivia, the feelings you once had disappeared for her, you always thought she was the one you would want a family with but here you are sitting in Sokovian’s room waiting for her to tell her what you feel.

Your eyes darted towards the door when it started to open, you wasn’t even nerves but very tired and defeated, she looked at you and there was fear as if her heart stopped but when she realised it was you, she relaxed.

“You shouldn’t be here, What are you doing here?!” She questioned as she darted towards you, she examined you to check for any injuries but you were okay.

You looked at the box in your hand, she followed your gaze and took the box as she opened it “Is this the engagement ring for Olivia? It’s really beautiful”

You dryly chuckled to hold back tears “She wouldn’t think so”

Wanda raised her eyebrows “What? I think its really beautiful. When are you planning to show her?”

“That’s the thing, I did and she said she wants a bigger one with a diamond” You spilled which made Wanda look at you with disbelief.

Wanda was close to saying something but you spoke up instead “It took me so long to realise that isn’t what I want” Staring at the little box in your hand, you closed it and looked into Wanda’s eyes “But this, I do”

Wanda titled her head a little in confusion “What do you mean?” She asked to ensure that she understands what you mean.

“I broke up with Olivia, she started to change a lot and we would fight and she even threw a cup at me” You pointed at your eyes where the bruise was somewhat visible “ I would’ve went back in time but I didn’t even have time to react. She wanted me to sue Tony for my injuries and kept pushing me into that idea. I would never do that, you guys are my family, people who accepted me and trained me to become better”

The witch placed her hand on your check as her thumb delicately caressing the bruise under your eye, you melted to her touch and continued “I know you’re with Vision but-”

Her hand dropped from your cheek and she looked at you with a puzzled expression “Me with Vision? Who told you that?”

“Well, no one, I saw the two of you outside the hospital room and I guess I just assumed” You looked down at your hand, fidgeting with your hands, her giggle pulled your attention back to her.

“I was never interested in Vision so you don’t have to worry about him, I promise0” She held your hand to stop you from fidgeting.

You were too mesmerised to even know what to say which she took as a turn to talk again “So now what?”

“I’m going to do what I wanted to do for a long time” You had a small smile as nerves ate at you.

She observed you as you started to lean in slowly, in case the redhead wanted to move away but instead with a smile she met your lips halfway, you immediately relaxed in the kiss, her hand made her way towards the back of your neck as you deepened the kiss.

She broke the kiss when air become an issue, both panting heavily, the two of you stare into each other eyes “I’m going to need you to say it”

She bit her lip as she smiled “I want this as well Y/n”

She wasn’t trying to hide it, she was open and honest with her feelings which made you want her more “Then have it” there was a hint of lust in your eyes which she noticed.

A smirk made its way onto Wanda’s lips, you might’ve been in pain but you wanted her to feel good, especially now but you knew better than to do this before you even took her on a date.

She leaned in but you put your index finger on her lips “But first lets go on a date”

There was a small frown at your finger in contact with her lips but a smile soon followed “Let’s do it”

You let out a small chuckle at how enthusiastic she was “Tomorrow, right now I need a shower and sleep”

“You sure Dr Cho doesn’t need to examine you?” She asked worriedly as she crossed her legs, still staring at you.

You nodded “I’m sure, now goodnight” you said and kissed her forehead getting up carefully and limping your way out.

You looked over once more before disappearing, the redhead had a small blush and a huge smile, you smiled back and this time actually left.

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The date was just like you imagine it, Wanda looking breath-taking as always, the two of you went around New York to places you never been in but was her favourite, learning more about her. You was dragged by your hand around the places which fascinated her, it was adorable seeing her all caught up in whatever was around her.

But the good ended as soon as you guys bumped into Olivia, not physically but she was in the same place as the two of you, she was out with some guy and as soon as you saw her and she saw you, you knew this would end badly.

She stomped her way towards you as Wanda walked further away not noticing Olivia approaching you “Y/n baby! You came back to me”

You frown at her first words “You don’t get to call me that and no I didn’t come back to you”

She was taken back a little but tried again “I tried to contact you but you never got back to me. That doesn’t matter, lets go home and cuddle to sleep” She had a little smile.

You shook your head as you chuckled “No way, you are out here with someone else and you want to go home and sleep with me?”

She shook her head quickly trying to convince you otherwise “No, he means nothing-”

That’s when he walked up to the two of you as she put his arm around Olivia and looked at you with his eyes narrowed as if you were to steal Olivia away “Who is this?”

You crossed your arms “No one” you tried to end this conversation but of course this definitely wasn’t going to end this quickly.

“Isn’t this your Avenger girlfriend you have been cheating on for months with me?” He said with a smirk on his face, trying to raise a reaction out of you.

You looked at Olivia with disbelief, “What?”

She looked at you with pity “It’s wasn’t the same as before, and you were less around..”

Her eyes wandered behind you that’s when she spotted Wanda “You think she won’t cheat on you either? You’re not that good as you think” that’s when Wanda approached, she heard all of it, she wrapped her arms around you and stared at Olivia as if she was going to kill her.

“Come on, lets leave” Wanda whispered to you but you seem to be stuck in that place.

The dude who was by Olivia’s side “No wonders you left her, such a mighty hero and can’t even protect herself” He referred to the slightly less visible bruise under your eye.

You stared at him as if you were a deer stuck in the middle of the road, about to being hit, which just caused him to laugh and slightly take a step forwards “Can you even fight?” It was a question but to the redhead next to you sounded like a threat.

Her eyes changed colour as she gave him a warning “You better step back or you’ll regret even opening your mouth”

He saw the danger in her eyes which made him step back next to Olivia, but Wanda was still causation.

You never was the one to doubt yourself and never listened to anyone but that seems to struck some doubts that were deep inside you. Wanda took your hand, taking action before this situation gets worse, and dragging you away.

The way to your next location which was a little more private away from people, you knew this place because how often you came here, it was quiet all the way there as you was all the promises that Olivia made.

~~~Flashback~~~

Sitting on the roof of the apartment complex alone, on the edge just taking in how beautiful the city can be. Olivia made her way towards you with a smile as she sat down next to you and just observed you.

“What you doing here?” She asked without taking her gaze off you.

You kept your eyes on the stars “Had a nightmare so I decided to just sit here instead of waking you up”

“What nightmare? I didn’t feel you waking up” She asked a little confused.

You finally looked at her “That everyone left me again”

She reached for your hand and gently took it in hers as her thumb traced circles “I promise you Y/n, I would never leave you or hurt you like they did”

~~~End of flashback~~~

Well she lied, she left you, she hurt you and now you are here on a date with someone who isn’t Olivia, of course by the time you broke up with her, your feelings had disappeared but she still lied to you, she left you just like she promised she wouldn’t.

You didn’t noticed that you and the witch were sitting down until she spoke up “You know this isn’t your fault?”

You looked at her when you were pulled out of the daydream “I know but yet I can’t seem to not blame myself. I left to be someone who does good and she cheated and blamed me.”

You paused and looked ahead “In a way I know this isn’t my fault, that I did what I always wanted to do but on the other hand if I didn’t leave, things would be different.”

You then looked at her, she was listening to you, not on her phone or doing something else but she was here with you “But then I look at you..” Your expression softened “And I know I did the right thing, I left the toxicity behind me and found someone better”

She had a smile when you finished, a smile that was brighter than any star in the sky “I’m glad you joined..” She confessed which made you smile as well at her words.

She moved closed to you as you pulled her into your embrace, your arm around her with her head placed on your shoulder, both falling into silence staring at the sky, feeling safe.

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5 years later

Like you could guess, there was many dates that followed that night and after 4th date, you both made it official, everyone was happy with your new fresh relationship, they all promised to insult Olivia the best they could when they see her, you laughed it off and felt like you fit in very well with these band of misfits.

Eventually Natasha came around as well, she needed some time to herself, she never confessed her true feelings for you as she respected you and Wanda so being close friends was more than okay with her. It was better than losing you.

You and the Sokovian eventually bought a house together, near the woods away from the city, less people the better you guys felt. With Tony’s help, the security there was more than amazing, everything was like you wanted it but there was something missing..

The missing part was finally being able to call each other wives, not only taken by words but by an item to tie it all together; rings.

You had informed the team about your plans of proposing to Wanda after she is back from a month long mission, you was excited and nervous. They agreed to help out. Steve was suppose to be the escort for Wanda but Natasha offered to do it as she felt the need to show maturity from her part. She was happy for you and Wanda, and this was her way of showing it as she never was a person to physically express her feelings.

Right now you were less than an hour away from Wanda’s arrival, you stood on a pier that looked like no one ever came it, it was a perfect place for this, no people no distractions, just the two of you, and of course the team that had to film the whole proposal.

You stood there with a nice set out and some blankets, you was a romantic type of person so this would never raise any suspicious with the witch. She thought you just wanted to greet her in a special way after being away from you for such a long time. She arrived with Natasha next to her side, she smiled at Natasha when she pointed towards where you would be, she thanked her and gave her a hug, before letting the other redhead disappear, or in this case join the team that was currently hiding out.

You was nervous, last time you proposed it turned into a disaster and this is the last thing you wanted it to be. You was planning to do this for more than a month but the opportunity knocked when she was assigned to a mission for a long time.

There she was, walking towards you with her hair down, in the dress you left for her, you knew she would look good in it but when she actually showed up in that dress, it didn’t do her justice, she was more than beautiful in your eyes and no matter how many times she smiled at you, those butterflies in your stomach at the sight of her smile that reached her eyes never seem to calm down.

You let out a shaky breath before she was close enough to notice your nerves, you extended your hand for her to take, and she took it more eagerly than she wanted to let on, she was just so happy to see you, missing you and your gentle touch.

She looked around when you finally held her by her waist, pulling her close to you “It’s beautiful”

Your eyes never left her as you softly replied “I know”

She looked back and understood to what you were referring to which caused her to blush, she has the same reaction to you as you have her and never for a second it disappeared but grew more and more with each little thing you did for her.

Her hands that were on your shoulders, now moved to the back of your neck as she pulled you in for a kiss that she was desperate to feel against her lips, you happily gave her what you both really wanted and missed, but you couldn’t let her distract you from the actual reason to why you are here.

You took a step back to give some sort of distance between the two of you which caused Wanda to frown at you. She missed you and wanted to be near you as close as possible, but no matter how much you tried to calm your nerves, the witch noticed them and stood the distance that you created.

You shyly smiled at her as you held her hands, your emotions all over the place so the best way to give yourself more courage was to pull Wanda into a quick kiss, allowing to buy yourself some time.

She noticed your rather weird behaviour and when you pulled away from you, that pretty face had a small frown across it “Are you okay моя любовь (my love)?”

Her voice only made you even nerves so you placed your finger on her lips to shush her, allowing yourself to finally speak before letting your nerves to control you “Everything is beyond okay darling” that was the first words that escaped your mouth which reassured Wanda that everything was semi okay.

And you continued with your big speech “Wanda baby, I don’t think you understand how much you mean to me, everyday is a blessing when I am with you and I don’t think I would be able to live with myself if you weren’t here with me.”

She was confused to where this was coming from, her urge to speak up was shushed when you continued “I took you here today, so this place can be a special place for us like any other place we have been together, but I think this place will become your favourite from them all..”

You squeezed her hands to keep your butterflies at bay with how Wanda analysed you “These past 5 years has made me realise that you are all I ever needed in my life. Whenever you look at me, I could feel that feeling that never died down but grew each second together.”

You let go of her hands as you were preparing to get down on one knee in front of the witch “A lot has changed and that includes my view on life, I realised that I never want to spend another second away from you but rather my whole life with you..”

And with that, you got down on my knee as you pulled out a perfectly matching ring for Wanda, you saved up everything you could to get her this ring. It was a sliver ring that had a little red diamond inside it, which matched her so well. Her eyes dropped down to the ring that you held in your fingers and tears appeared almost immediately at the sight of this moment and her hand covered her mouth in shock as she wasn’t expecting this.

“So, Wanda Maximoff will you marry me?” You asked the question that you were dying to choke out, you was right in front of her, on your knees as you were so vulnerable, pouring out your heart to the woman of your dreams.

She shook her head violently as she was scared that this would be all a dream “Yes!”

She grabbed your face in her hands and pulled you into a deep emotional kiss, she didn’t register the cheering from behind her until she pulled away, letting you stand up and perfectly setting a new ring on her finger.

Everyone gathered around the couple, pulling into a big group hug and cheering at how perfect this all felt.

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As everyone left, the two of you stayed on the pier a little while longer, wrapped in each other arms, with a blanket over the two bodies to keep the warmth in between yous.

Your eyes were on Wanda as she just seems to enjoy this moment, she spoke soon enough, pulling you out of your daydream “You were right”

She simply said which caused a quick reply from you “Right about what?”

She looked at you with a smile that always met her eyes when she was around you “That this would be my favourite place”

Your smile spread hugely across your face, locking eyes with the green eyed goddess but before you could speak, Wanda captured your lips in her own, letting her hands wonder down your body, you knew her well enough to understand what she was getting at.

“We should celebrate this successful night..” She moved her lips to your ear as she purred, the way her hot breath hit your ear was enough to do whatever she wanted.

You smirked as you replied back with a hint of innocent to tease her “Oh really?”

She nodded with a small chuckle, before straddling your hips and busying herself against your mouth, as you pulled her down with you so she laid on top of you.

You smiled against the kiss as you pulled away a little “It’s you.. It always has been” earning a heartfelt chuckle and a nod in agreement as she deepened the kiss.

She was always yours and you were always hers; until death do the two of yous apart...

#wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #the avengers #scarlet witch #scarlet witch x reader #wanda #maximoff #wanda mcu #avengers x reader #avengers x you #fluff #angst #reader

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chilly-me-softly · 3 years

Note

Hi I’m the anon that requested the angsty fic, I loved it so much, thank you 🥺. Do you think we could get a part 2 🙈 I love your writing!

Part 1

Of course you can have a part 2! Hope you like this one as well x

Ben had sat down on the couch to wait for Mason who had told him on the phone that he would be right over, and was surprised when he opened the door with his keys. The worry was clear in his eyes but Ben had almost stopped him from walking over as you were asleep. Mason had made him explain a little about what had happened and he had tried to slow down the inevitable. He didn't want to leave but before his friend started asking, or worse walked him to the door himself, he'd have to get his ass out of there.

He hadn't heard from you since that day, during a training session he'd asked Mason casually how you were feeling but after that nothing. Nothing had been arranged for days and he didn't know how to approach you to make sure with his own eyes that you were alright. You were so sick that day, he was used to you standing up to him and seeing you like this had really triggered something in him. He had your number but he'd never used it, you'd never had a private conversation but he used to tease you in group chat.

He's at home with his phone in his hand lying on the sofa pondering whether he should finally press that icon and type a simple text, when the doorbell rings. And when he opens the door he is pleasantly surprised.

"(Y/N), hi"

"Ben! Hi, sorry to just show up at your house like this" you smile as he does the same.

"Oh no problem, come in" he steps over to allow you in as you think about it for a few seconds before entering and as he closes the door he takes the opportunity to pinch himself. The pain that follows makes him realise that this isn't a dream, you really are in his house.

"Um I just brought you... this" you hold out a plate covered in tinfoil towards him and your hands touch as he accepts that plate with confusion.

"To what do I owe all this?"

"You know I might have been poorly but I remember what you did for me the other night and...I just wanted to say thank you"

"Oh you didn't have to, you were struggling it was just fair. But thank you" Ben looks at you smiling, your cheeks are slightly pink and you keep biting your lip and it's best to take the wrapper off that plate before he says something humiliating himself.

"I made it" you care to add in a soft voice when a cake appears before his eyes, him realising you're still standing in front of the door and urging you towards the kitchen in the process.

"Really?" he asks and just the thought that you might have spent time doing something like this just for him makes him feel weird inside.

You nod, "Yeah, it's something I do a lot actually. It's the only thing Mason treats himself with off the diet during the season" you state hanging your bag on the chair and turning to face him who meanwhile is keeping himself busy by grabbing a knife and keeping that sense of annoyance at bay that he doesn't know where it's coming from.

"Well let's try it then"

"What are you doing?" you ask when you see him place a slice in front of you.

"Are you trying to make me eat alone? How rude. Unless..." he asks squinting his eyes looking at you thoughtfully.

"What?"

"Unless you put something in it" his tone makes you laugh as you shake your head. "I didn't put anything in there that I wouldn't make Mason eat too"

"That's what a killer would say to get the other one to eat" but he watches as you make a piece of your slice bringing it to your lips, chewing and wiping your fingers shrugging.

"Okay you convinced me" Ben bites into his slice moaning soon after and closing his eyes appreciating your work, missing your smile seeing the scene. "Oh my god this is so good"

"Thanks" you murmur slightly embarrassed as he takes another bite and more or less does the same thing as before.

"How are you now?" Ben walks around the counter to sit next to you, "I mean I can see you're well but I don't think I understand what happened?"

You sigh, "It was just a headache"

"Yeah but you almost fainted..."

"You know I almost prefer you when you go against me" you smile slightly and he lowers his gaze for a moment.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to push you if you didn't want to tell me"

"No, it's not that. It's just that I'm not used to seeing this side of you that's all" you care to clarify making him smile almost bitterly.

"I've been a bit harsh haven't I?"

"Nah deep down I just enjoy standing up to you" your eyes meet and Ben can't really tell if he's thinking about something or if his mind is completely blank at that moment. Until he seems to come back to himself, as if he's been underwater and has suddenly started breathing again. And he's about to open his mouth but you beat him to it.

"I should go"

"Oh yeah okay" he tries not to let his disappointment show, standing up and watching you do the same.

"My mum is expecting me for dinner" you put your bag over your shoulder and you don't know why you feel the need to justify yourself.

"Oh yeah don't worry about it. Thanks... thanks again for the dessert"

"Thanks to you for saving me" you smile before walking over to him and pulling him into a quick hug, Ben doesn't even have time to acknowledge it that you're already gone.

And that night before he goes to sleep he finds the courage to press that button and send you a message and thus begin your private conversation.

Part 3

#thank you anon #ben chilwell #ben chilwell blurb

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cheri-translates · 3 years

Text

[CN] S2 Gavin - The Stories Project

🍒 Warning: Detailed spoilers for content not yet released in EN!🍒

Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide

Features S2 Gavin but contains no spoilers regarding the S2 storyline

This is a continuation of The Broadcast Countdown Project. Do read that first!

[ This was released on 25 August 2021 ]

[ Chapter One ]

Gavin and I are standing outside Door 501 of the 7th block in Pavilion Village.

This is also the home of Zhang Nian, the kidnapper who handed me an anonymous letter in the TV station before eventually committing suicide.

A thorough investigation of the case involving the anonymous kidnapper and his suicide has ended. The STF has also removed the cordoning around the scene.

I liaised with the TV station, planning to showcase the incident from start to end in a special episode of the show which will be aired in the last episode of “Inquiries”.

Gavin: This used to be a crime scene. If you’re afraid, wait for me here. If you need any materials, I can head inside and find them for you.

MC: It’s okay, I don’t avoid such things... Also, I have a feeling that there’s definitely something behind this case worth seeing in person.

The husband and wife who were kidnapped had related the details to me, and mentioned that even though Zhang Nian had kidnapped them, they weren’t treated harshly at all.

It’s just that Zhang Nian was deaf and couldn't speak. He could only communicate with them with hems and haws, which ended up frightening them.

In hindsight, they realised that Zhang Nian never harboured malicious intentions towards them.

MC: What was Zhang Nian’s goal and what did he want to tell us? The answers to these riddles... they might be hidden here.

Gavin pushes the door open, and we step into Zhang Nian’s house.

Gavin: This place was sealed off since the incident, which is why the arrangement of furniture we’re looking at is the same as when he was still alive.

In contrast to the dim and cold space I had imagined, the living room is well lit.

The cream coloured wood flooring, a white cloth sofa, a simple wall painting of the ocean... all of these elements set off one another in the indolent afternoon sunlight, displaying a warm atmosphere.

MC: This place gives me such a strange feeling... the person who lived here must have really loved life...

Gavin: His fiancée decorated this place.

Gavin taps on a magnet on the refrigerator. Tiny colourful slips of paper are stuck underneath zebra, bunny, and elephant magnets.

“Special discount for wax gourds on Tuesday, special discount for pork ribs on Thursday.” - It’s as though the weekly booklet of discounts from the supermarket had been copied down.

“Invitation cards, wedding dress, decide on the hotel.” - The ring which had rolled onto the zebra crossing in the news immediately flashes across my mind.

Aside from that, they have simple recipes on them.

MC: What a pity. If that incident didn’t happen, they would have had a perfect life here.

Gavin: All the furnishings and decor came to a halt when the incident happened to Xu Wen. He did everything he could to retain traces of her existence. As for his own life...

Gavin opens the refrigerator, showing me that it’s more or less empty aside from condiments which had been used a few times.

White cold mist hover in the empty space, out of sync with the warm tones in the living room.

Gavin: This too.

He opens a wall cabinet to reveal a few boxes of ordinary flavoured cup noodles. The incandescent light in the cabinet is chilly, shining on plastic film surrounding the cup noodles.

Imagining the taste of cup noodles submerged in MSG, I once again turn towards the recipes stuck on the refrigerator.

Gavin shuts the cabinet, then points at the bedroom.

Gavin: MC, I want to show you something.

[ Chapter Two ]

Gavin: During the investigation, we found these.

Gavin guides me to the bookcase, then pulls open a drawer at the bottom.

MC: A disability ID, marriage certificate, graduation certificate, guarantee card for a hearing aid and a bank book...

Gavin: We checked his background. He grew up in an orphanage.

Gavin: Back then, the orphanage didn’t have adequate facilities, and didn’t have teachers or special medical setups for guiding people with hearing issues. He was always reclusive in the orphanage, and didn't have friends.

Gavin: When he was ten years old, people from the orphanage and community sent him to school.

While saying this, Gavin retrieves a pile of books from the drawer and shows them to me - they are all sketchbooks, and the pages have long since turned yellow. It’s evident that they were here for a very long time.

MC: He can draw?

Gavin: In these books, there are some sketches of streets and still life. Some are comics modelled after existing works. Although I don’t know much about art, I think he could draw pretty well.

While flipping through the pages, I find myself affected by the exquisite details conveyed in these drawings.

Perhaps because he didn’t go through systematic training, he wasn’t limited to one style in the way he expressed his art.

A distinct and unique style leaving a deep impression seems to break through the sheets of paper, revealing the emotions the artist had hidden in his heart.

MC: ...he must have been a really talented artist.

Gavin points at the wall - there’s a sketch hanging on it. It takes up almost half of the wall, and it’s mounted in a white frame.

MC: The person in the drawing is Xu Wen.

MC: ...it’s drawn really well.

Gavin releases a “mm”, and is unable to hold back a sigh.

Gavin: Extraordinarily well.

It doesn’t matter if it resembles the actual person. It doesn’t matter if it was meticulous or not.

The person in the drawing has her eyes curved upwards with a smile on her face, and she looks like any other young girl you can find in a crowd.

But the limitless gentleness and happiness contained in her eyes - that’s a unique feature belonging only to one person.

Gavin: They seemed to be schoolmates. I read through Xu Wen’s background - she graduated from the same school for deaf students. But there weren't any questionable points in this case, which is why we didn’t probe further. If you want to know the specifics, we'd have to investigate again.

My heart hovers in the air, wanting to figure out everything about this matter.

But from the STF’s perspective, this case is already closed...

Gavin gives me an affirmative gaze.

Gavin: I know what you're going to say. I want to continue listening to this story too. He wasn’t able to speak, but he left behind a voice that he hoped for others to hear.

After a pause, he turns his head, once again glancing at the drawing hanging on the wall.

Gavin: I can feel such emotions.

Gavin says this softly, and the light in his eyes grow deeper.

Floating dust in the surroundings gather on Xu Wen's portrait. We stand in this warm and tranquil space, as though we can sense their story surging forth without a sound.

[ Chapter Three ]

After this, Gavin and I gather information about Zhang Nian and Xu Wen from various sources.

A few days alter, we arrange to meet at a cafe to exchange materials collected from our individual investigations.

MC: I found the teacher from the school for deaf students. He said that when Zhang Nian first arrived at the school, he didn’t even know how to use sign language. He was gloomy and blue.

MC: Only Xu Wen knew how to converse with him, and would teach him sign language after school.

MC: After learning of his interest in drawing, she used her pocket money to buy him colouring pencils and drawing paper in secret without her parents’ knowledge.

MC: They had a pretty happy time in school. Zhang Nian even organised a small exhibition in school, and many teachers and students supported it.

MC: But after graduation, his days became a little more difficult.

He didn’t have a place to stay, and he couldn’t find work. While Xu Wen could rely on her parents for financial assistance, he could only rely on himself.

MC: During this time, Xu Wen seemed to have been using her parents’ money to buy him stationery for drawing, and even accompanied him to set up a stall for his paintings...

MC: But they couldn’t earn money at all.

Gavin opens a few files in front of me.

Gavin: Afterwards, he found a job in a finance company. He went around conducting financial transactions for people, and earned commissions based on the number of successful transactions.

Gavin: Not long after, this company was reported for illegal fund-raising. Both he and his boss were jailed for three years.

I recall seeing his ID from before - a crew cut and a white shirt along with a black suit which looked tidy and fitting.

Turns out he wasn’t working at a bank...

Gavin: Even during his time in jail, Xu Wen never gave up on him. She’d visit him every weekend and converse with him via sign language from across the glass.

Gavin: Of course, Zhang Nian behaved very well in jail, and gave his own drawings to many prison guards. After he was out of jail, he found a stable job.

Separated by the scorching 3pm afternoon sunlight, the gaze Gavin gives me is deep with a tranquil light.

Gavin: Do you know why he planned this kidnapping and handed you the video clip anonymously?

I shake my head. This has been my biggest question.

Gavin takes out a few photographs from the file.

Gavin: Before the case was closed, these documents couldn’t be disclosed to the public, which is why I didn’t tell you at the time.

I scrutinise one of the photographs - an A3-sized sheet of paper is stuck on a door, with a few lines written on it.

From the format of the digits, they appear to be bank account numbers.

Gavin: He was behind this door.

MC: Then these bank account numbers...

Gavin: We checked them.

He points at the first line of digits, then speaks calmly.

Gavin: The first account is for an animal treatment centre. It treats stray cats and dogs which meet with accidents.

Gavin: This one is for a 10 year old girl with hearing issues. She lives with a granny who sells fruits, and is currently saving money for surgery.

Gavin: The both of them had a habit of sending money to these accounts.

Gavin: Even though Zhang Nian continued sending money to them after Xu Wen passed away, he could only maintain his own livelihood with his income.

MC: What you’re saying is, if the video camera could capture this... and document them properly so that more people would know about them...

Perhaps he could help these people. Even if it was for the last time.

MC: ...but that was such a complex method. There was no need to do a good deed in such a roundabout manner, and even kidnap people to reach that goal.

Gavin silently picks up one of the photos from the table - it’s a note that Zhang Nian wrote before he committed suicide. A short message is written on it - It’s Wen Wen’s birthday today.

Gavin: Aside from that, he more or less did think of seeking revenge.

Gavin’s finger remains on the photograph.

Gavin: In Zhang Nian’s life, Xu Wen was the only one who gave him warmth. She was his lover.

Gavin: After losing such a person, it isn’t difficult to guess what kind of an attitude he had when facing this world, and facing the people who caused such an ending.

Gavin: When people are in pain, their hatred will involuntarily become amplified.

Gavin: From this perspective, at least he didn't take things even further.

Gavin’s voice is dull, as though he’s mulling over something, or affected by their misfortune.

I can’t help but reach across the table, gently bumping the tip of his finger with mine.

Silence permeates the air. He curls his finger slightly, hooking it around mine.

[ Chapter Four ]

The files, photographs, and a few scattered pages of a notebook are spread on the table randomly, as though illustrating their entire story in front of me.

The car accident was a tragedy, but it wasn’t the only tragedy. I find myself hesitating to speak. When I open my mouth, I sigh.

MC: Xu Wen was such a good person. She tugged onto him from beginning to end, and never gave up on him for a single moment. She actually managed to pull him out of the abyss.

Even though she couldn’t hear nor speak, she used her gentle gaze to heal the person she loved.

Gavin tidies the items on the table one by one, storing them properly.

His composed voice is mixed with ruefulness. He seems to be slightly moved, but has more or less come to terms with his emotions.

Gavin: From the perspective of an observer, there were many dismal and extreme traits in Zhang Nian’s personality. This is a point that can’t be denied.

Gavin: However, he was abandoned from the moment he was born. The path he walked on all these years, and the world that he saw - those are things we’d find difficult to relate with.

Gavin: Perhaps from the time he knew about the world, he realised that living was already something requiring courage.

Probably seeing such stories again and again when handling various cases, Gavin’s attitude is objective and calm.

Gavin: No matter what attitude he had when he made this decision, he shouldn’t have done so.

In contrast to the practised manner in which Gavin handles his emotions, I remain immersed in the regretful ending experienced by the two.

MC: Aside from her, he had nothing else.

The furniture, the recipes underneath the magnets, and the drawing hung on the wall... these images flash past me one by one.

MC: If I were the one who experienced this, and the only important person in my life was gone, I’d lose my connection with this world. Perhaps death would be a form of liberation.

Before I can finish speaking, Gavin raises his voice, cutting off my impending sigh.

Gavin: It wouldn’t.

He looks at me resolutely and decisively.

Gavin: No matter when, death will never be a form of liberation. Pain can always be treated.

Gavin: Whether it’s because someone important is no longer around, or if you were to lose contact with someone, it’s inevitable to carry some pain.

Gavin: Perhaps time is needed, and perhaps meeting a certain someone is needed, to gradually put an end to such pain, and to use various methods to put an end to such pain.

Gavin: But things will always get better.

Gavin seals the brown paper bag which is filled with materials related to Zhang Nian and Xu Wen, then places it at the corner of the table which has been warmed by the sun.

I watch as his palm presses against the paper bag, a moment of hesitation surging past his slightly lowered gaze. Almost at the same time, he looks up at me -

There’s only certainty in his eyes.

Gavin: No matter when, never give up on yourself. Xu Wen was constantly pulling him out of the abyss. He shouldn’t have given up like that.

[ Chapter Five ]

By the time Gavin and I walk out of the cafe, much of the sun’s heat has dispersed. Wind blows over from the river, and it’s refreshing and soothing.

Countless little flowers with names I’m unaware of bloom among the grass along the street, swaying in the evening breeze of midsummer.

MC: The weather is really nice today.

After sitting down for an entire afternoon, I can’t help but stretch, relaxing my shoulders and back.

Before I can take a few steps, I suddenly remember the moment I met Zhang Nian face-to-face, causing me to halt in my footsteps. He had walked towards me in a timid manner, a sincere and apologetic expression on his face.

He had handed me a letter, its edges creased from being pinched. Then, he turned away hurriedly before running away.

Too much time has passed. Even his Evol has lost its effectiveness.

Gavin senses that something is off about me, and draws a few steps closer. I wave my hand at him, signalling that I’m fine.

Having second thoughts, I can’t help but sigh with emotion.

MC: If only Zhang Nian was willing to contact me earlier and tell me about what exactly happened...

MC: If only I could tell him how nice today’s weather is. I wonder if he’d have made such a decision.

Gavin responds decisively from beside me.

Gavin: He wouldn’t.

Gavin: If someone told him that the weather would be nice today, he’d have definitely held on for a while longer.

Gavin: But he couldn’t always wait for someone to pull him along and bring him out of the abyss. He had to muster his courage and walk out by himself.

I nod quietly, gripping the notebook in my hand.

MC: Gavin, aside from the original plan for this episode, I think I’d need to add some new content...

Gavin halts in his footsteps, immediately reading the thoughts in my heart.

Gavin: Are you thinking about how there are many people in the world like Zhang Nian?

MC: Mm.

There are definitely some people who are shouldering pain alone, and are hesitating at the crossroads of life and death.

MC: Although this tragedy can no longer be salvaged, we could prevent even more tragedies from occurring.

I turn towards the direction of the river, looking afar at the boundless sky.

MC: I want to tell them about the beautiful scenery all around the world, and the beauty of the four seasons.

MC: Tell them about the colours of sunset, the sounds of the ocean...

MC: And tell them that as long as they’re willing to wait for a while longer, there are still people on earth who will love them.

MC: I want their eyes to be able to see the world that I see. I want them to believe that this world is always worth it.

Realising how overly idealistic and visionary my words are, I give Gavin a smile.

MC: ...I might have sounded too exaggerated.

Gavin: Nope. It will be a very meaningful show.

He suddenly reaches out, combing my hair which has been blown messy by the wind. His fingers linger on the ends of my hair for a long time.

The corners of his lips curl upwards slightly, and he brings me into his arms.

Gavin: Thank you.

Gavin: This world is always worth it.

His voice is far too soft. For a moment, I wonder if I misheard.

MC: What did you say? I couldn’t hear you clearly.

Gavin chuckles, then raises his volume.

Gavin: Since the weather’s pretty good, want to go for a drive?

MC: Did you drive here today?

Gavin: Mm. It’s rare to have such nice weather, so I took the car out for a drive.

MC: Wow~ That is rare. It’s been such a long time since I sat in Captain Gavin’s car.

Gavin takes my hand, striding with large steps as he leads me forward.

Gavin: Let’s go. The car’s in front.

- End -

Filming for the special episode of “Inquries” came to an end. When the final episode aired, the show became a trending topic. After watching it, many members of the audience provided assistance and support for organisations targeted at disabled individuals. Although Zhang Nian and Xu Wen have already left this world, they’ve enabled people who experience difficulties in life to obtain warmth. Such warmth continues to last. I guess being able to allow more people to believe that the world is worth loving, and to do what little they can to help those in need is what it means to be a person in the media industry.