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ronanlvnchvevo · 2 years

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Ok so I want to talk about this scene in particular, because I love it so much and feel like every time I watch it I learn some kind of new insight into Pete, and I think it foreshadows a lot of the future vegaspete moments (which--STAY WITH ME I know my brain rot is showing ok, I KNOW but it’s good I promise)

So the first thing I notice about this scene every time I watch it is how visibly uncomfortable Porsche is. Not only do we as the audience, who know Porsche’s motivations for wanting to witness this moment, and who get to see those fun flashbacks, know that he’s uncomfortable, but I think it’s clear to the other three in the room that Porsche is Not Having A Good Time. When Kinn’s determined that this is no longer a productive learning experience for Porsche, he calls out to Pete and signals for Pete to go with him outside. THIS IS EXTREMELY FASCINATING TO ME, because I think Kinn knows (HE KNOWS) that, in addition to basically being his bestie, Pete is probably the most empathic of all his men (he’s been tankhun’s babysitter without complaint for how long?), and that Porsche probably needs someone to talk him through whatever’s going on in his head.

Up until this point, and in only three episodes I might add, we see multiple different occasions where Pete shows a deep emotional understanding of the people around him in ways no one else does. This comes in the form of him 1) not immediately ostracizing Porsche because he’s the bratty new guy, and instead taking him under his wing; this is significant because he’s THE ONLY ONE in the main house who doesn’t give Porsche any attitude, or treat him like he’s the gum stuck to the bottom of their shoe like everyone else does. 2) He’s the only bodyguard who is visibly uncomfortable when Tankhun is punishing Porsche with the mermaid costume AND is the only one who speaks up on Porsche’s behalf (T: Give him a treat! P:...that’s enough. He didn’t mean to). 3) Despite disagreeing with Thankhun’s punishment, he STILL feels obligated to educate Porsche on the trauma he endured as a reason for his “absurd” behavior. His interpretation of TK’s behaviors, and the rest of the family’s for that matter, also demonstrate just how perceptive he is. 4) OBVIOUSLY the scene in ep 2 where he stops Porsche from trying to beat Kinn’s ass after getting choked out. In this scene, it’s clear he’s taken the time to analyze the situation from Kinn’s perspective, or at least that he’s spent time thinking about how difficult things were/are for Kinn (“He used to love his people. The reason he became cruel was not totally on him”) and the fact that he doesn’t just blurt out Kinn’s secret in that moment speaks to his character, I think. I could go into even greater detail here, but I’ve already let this get out of hand, and its not even the main point I’m trying to make in this post.

SO PETE TAKES HIM OUTSIDE on Kinn’s order, right? This is where the ENTIRE conversation takes an incredible turn towards vegaspete foreshadowing for me. And Yes, it’s a conversation about Porsche and what he’s going through, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the double purpose its serving (which, bravo to the writers for that) and how at their cores Porsche and Vegas are going through very similar things. It’s also an important conversation because it reveals some truths that I think are important to remember when we think about how Pete could have fallen for Vegas despite him being his captor (and aside from him just being a really empathetic dude).

Porsche begins their impromptu therapy session with “He must really have no way out. That’s why he’s acting stupid.” Porsche is obviously saying this about the man they’re extorting, but then he relates it to his own experience with debt collectors “I know it very well, that having no way out can really make you do anything.” Immediately!!! I was thinking ‘you know who acts real stupid a lot, because he’s trapped in his family’s cycle of violence? Vegas.’ I digress. This scene is a turning point for Porsche in particular. He makes his first kill, yes, but that’s just meant to really bring home the realization he’s having that life isn’t as black and white as he’d always thought it was. Up until this point, Porsche has always seen himself the Victim of debt collectors, and he viewed them as an unnecessary evil (it’s not his fault his uncle gambles away all of their money!). It is at this point when he finds himself, the Victim, the Good Guy, with no choice but to become the Evil Debt Collector. Sometimes there is no choice. Sometimes the Good Guy must do a bad thing in order to survive. Things are more often stuck in a gray area than they are just good or just evil. “I never thought that I’d be like one of them today,” he says. This leaves him smack dab center in a moral gray area, and so clearly reeling from the realization. (he tries to save himself and stay The Good Guy when he tries to talk the guy down, but the guy shooting anyways forces him to instead acknowledge this truth once and for all.)

BACK TO VEGASPETE: Pete quietly lets Porsche say his piece in its entirety, and then gives a response that shows he’s understood this to be a universal truth for a long time. “We’re just teaching him a lesson,” is his first response. He doesn’t try to justify their actions, nor is he attempting in any way to reframe their situation in a way that makes them out to be either Good or Bad guys. If he did, he’d be playing into a narrative he doesn’t believe, and as we know, “theres no legacy as rich as honesty.” Instead, he goes on to give the one of the most iconic lines of the series: “There’s no heroes nor villains in this world.” Heroes being the paragon of all things good, and villains symbolizing all things evil. This certainly has broader implications for the series as a whole, but for vegaspete, it goes to show that Pete never looked at Vegas and saw villain. It’s more likely he saw him for what he was at his core: a broken man lashing out at a world that refused to love him despite his best efforts. He saw all of Vegas’ actions, not as isolated evil incidents, but as reactions to things around him and the way the people who were supposed to love him treated him. It’s also why it’s believable that he believed in Vegas’ capability to do good and love when he saw the way he treated the hedgehog. Animals often love unconditionally. Animals also cannot judge you or your motivations the way humans can. Pete saw Vegas loving the only living thing that ever loved him back, and he knew Vegas was simply the product of his environment and circumstances.

#I tried not to go on like 4 other tangents throughout this but it was hard #i hope this makes sense lmao #i have so many feelings #vegaspete #vegas theerapanyakul #pete saengtham #kinnporsche #kinnporche the series #porsche kittisawasd #kinn theerapanyakul #kp the series #kinnporsche meta #vegaspete meta #the lesson learned here is: i shouldnt be allowed to do rewatches #the final paragraph is my pride and joy

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cupids-chamber · 1 year

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MY DEAREST CONCUBINE, the only one who loved him, through richer or poorer circumstances, his dearest concubine..

GENDER NEUTRAL READER

CONTENT TAGS: Fluff, Leona is a prideful fuck for like a paragraph but he gets over it, Reader has a sweet tooth!, It's implied that the reader came from a rural and poor background but never mentioned.

There once was a king who ruled a rather small yet baren kingdom, the kingdom wasn't wealthy and the king struggled to bask in the typical glory a king would have.

In his harem, was a single soul. The king pitied the poor souls' fate of marrying such a poor king, he offered them anything in the room which they may desire.

He had expected that they would take something more glamorous, an object that stood out. However, to his surprise, they pointed to the small bowl of packaged candies nearby, each one was carefully wrapped in inexpensive parchment.

The king could never forget the smile on their face, as they explained in a soft town, how truly sweet and delicious the pieces of candy were.

The next morning, after your first night embraced in the emperor's arms, you awoke to a large jar of candies, each delicately wrapped in parchment with beautiful small pictures embroidered into it.

The king and you then had formed a small bond, you had saved these precious candies to yourself. For each time you had eaten a piece, your love for the king would grow.

Soon the king had waged war on its neighboring countries, one by one he conquered all his conquests, you hoped and awaited for the day he'd come back, embracing you with those large hands of his.

The harem that was once small became large and vast, filled with many foreign beauties. The kingdom that was once small was now a large empire. The empire was filled with wealth and joy.

And you were buried beneath all the beautiful souls that had entered the palace, however, you still waited for the day the emperor would call you... and by a strike of sheer luck he had called you that night.

The maid seemed displeased with you, as she delivered the news. Yet you were overjoyed, your heart beated with newly wed joy, as you anticipated your reunion with your beloved king.

Yet everything you hoped for was gone, the king did not recognize you, "this must be your first time right?" He asked, once again your beloved had offered you anything from his room, the room was filled with many luxuries by now.

Yet you pointed to that same jar, filled with those sugar coated candies, the same ones you asked for when the two of you first met and spent time together, however to your utter displeasure your beloved king assumed you were mocking him, and threw you out.

Your king was no longer the kind hearted man you had fallen for, but a greedy emperor, hungry for power.

However all good things come with a cost, as the king had lost another one of the many wars he'd waged, returning back to the small kingdom from before, he lost his many treasures, concubines, and wealth.

You entered the room of the king, slowly approaching him "you should leave, you can take anything you want" he declared, looking tired. Yet you didn't bother, you laid your head on his lap.

"I think I'll stay", he stared at you as you lifted up a small piece of parchment wrapped candy, a heart embroidered on its wrapper. You offered him the sweet, "you should try it, it's super sweet and tasty" you offered him a melancholic smile, as he recalled the reason he started fighting in the first place, and who it was for..

'After all, for poorer or richer, there was only one person who stayed by my side... only one..!"

He whispered your name in a soft town, he finally remembered your name once again, the only one who hadn't left him, abandoned him..

You swore you saw him shed tears, yet so did you.. from that they on your lover, refused to take any one else in his harem, as you lived with him and in his arms from then on.

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thatonegoldenfreddyfan · 2 months

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IMPORTANT: I'm Dead.

If you’re reading this, I’ve killed myself.

Let me explain everything. Please read this all the way through and follow my wishes, even if it’s hard for you.

I’ve been struggling for a long time. I don’t remember the last time I was truly happy with my life. I remember that my mental health started worsening when I was 8-9, and I started being suicidal at around age 9-10. I tried to reach out to my parents several times, but was always greeted with yelling, laughter, or plain ignorance. Eventually, I learned my lesson and stopped trying.

I lost motivation to do anything, no matter how hard I tried. Art was one of the few things that remained for me.

What pushed me over the edge? If I had to guess, my grades. I managed to get all A’s and B’s in my classes this quarter. All of them except for math. I know that I failed math. Even if you don’t believe me, I’m telling you now that I truly tried my hardest to bring my grade up, but I failed anyway. I don’t want to see your disappointed and angry faces. I don’t want to know what punishment I will receive. So, I decided to quit life, because I know things will only get worse from here on out. The small joys of life aren’t worth the suffering.

I’m going to have to ask anyone that may or may not care about me to move on, live your life to the fullest, and not dwell on my death. Please. I love you all so much and this fandom and my server is one of my pride and joys. Don’t let it die with me.

Since this is such a downer, I’m going to use the last paragraph to lighten things up:

After loving Golden Freddy like a parent for the better part of 1-2 years, I can finally become a ghost and meet him :] I think we’ll get along well

With lots of love,

ThatOneGoldenFreddyFan/Goldie

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torreshalstead · 4 months

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On a crowded street in 1944 - Chapter 5

Summary - The four walls of Upton’s General Store were all Hailey knew although she longed to see what else life had to offer. When a handsome soldier walks through the door, she thinks he might just be the answer to the life she wants to have. But it was 1944 and the country was at war. Would fate smile on her or would her heart be another casualty of the war?

Chapters - 5/15

Notes - we are now fully entering our letter era so happy reading! ❤️ AO3 Link

July 1944

Waiting for Jay’s next letter felt like waiting for rain in the middle of summer, painfully slow and every letter through the mailbox felt like the next cloud that would end the long drought. The first week she had almost grabbed the letters out of the mailman’s hands until her father had scowled at her for opening the door in her nightgown. After the first week the days seemed to drag, anytime she failed to see the newly familiar handwriting adorning an envelope, her stomach would drop a little further and her smile would shift from her face.

She had tried to write a letter to him so when his arrived she would be able to mail it back to him immediately and not put him through the torturous wait that she was enduring. But she found she didn’t have the words. How do you write a response to a letter you are yet to receive? How do you explain to someone that you only got to experience a short amount of time with, that they have forever changed your life?

Dear Jay

That sounded too impersonal.

Dearest Jay

That sounded like she was just repeating his words back to him.

Jay

She had scratched that out as quickly as she had written it, the scrunched up piece of paper ending up being singed by the candle to save herself the embarrassment of her parents finding the remains of the letter.

My Dearest Jay,

Everyday I have waited for your letter to arrive, to read your words again and know that you are okay and what we have isn’t just a dream.

Thank you doesn’t seem enough for the gift of the book, Mr Periot really does know how to solve a murder and Agatha Christie writes like no one I have ever read before. I shall keep it safe for you so when you return, we can read it together back on our bench.

Life in Chicago is just how you left it, the summer is hot and unfortunately you are the only person to ever have offered me a cold soda. I wouldn’t accept one from anyone else now anyway. My father is at least being kept busy with his new business deal which gives me plenty of time to read and reread your notes. I think I know them by heart by now.

I hope this letter brings you joy and makes you smile, just as yours does to me.

I eagerly await your response.

Yours forever,

Hailey

It wasn’t perfect and her handwriting wasn’t as neat as it could be, if her mother ever saw it she would probably be rapped across her knuckles, but it was honest. She had left enough space between the final paragraph and the sign off to include a response to anything he had written in his. The letter was carefully folded and hidden in the book along with the one she treasured from him.

The newspapers were full of stories of the war, of the pride of the nation who was fighting for freedom overseas. But among the positive, there was always a list of names of those who would not be returning home to their loved ones.

Every night when her knees hit the floor and she clutched her hands tightly together she prayed he would come home safe. Come home to her.

——————————————————————————

Hailey had made a decision that checking the mail for his letter was the reason it had yet to arrive, somehow she was the cause of the delay. So she pushed the thought of him and his letter to the back of her mind and continued to work through her everyday life, ignoring the fact the feeling of his lips on hers was still filling her dreams every night when her head hit the pillow and her eyes fluttered closed.

‘Letter for you Hailey,’ her father said in passing, dropping the letter onto the counter as he headed to the back door. He must have picked them up this morning and forgotten to hand them over, it was already past 2 in the afternoon. He had Jay’s letter in his possession for hours before giving it to her.

There were hours when his words were within her grasp and she hadn’t known.

‘Thank you father,’ she choked out as she picked out the letter with trembling fingers. It was his handwriting. It was finally here.

‘I’ll be late tonight, help you mother clear up after dinner,’ he grunted as he closed the door behind him. Hailey didn’t know why he wasted his breath, she always helped her mother. It was he who always seemed to fail to remember that the dishes did not wash themselves in the same way that the food was not magically cooked or his clothes magically cleaned and mended.

She folded the letter and slipped it into her pocket - she couldn’t read it now, the store was still open and a customer could appear and need assistance. But she could feel it burning a hole in her dress, the need to rip open the envelope and read it immediately was almost more than she could bear.

But she also wanted, no she needed, to read it alone.

Getting through the rest of the day was like trying to walk through molasses. Every customer seemed to need more help than the previous one. Hailey spent 20 minutes trying to explain the difference between evaporated milk and milk powder to an elderly gentleman who decided to buy neither. She had to clean up a spill from where two kids had decided to shake up their bottles of pop after purchasing them and causing them to spray all over the front of the counter. Each task was more painful than the next.

‘Hailey dear,’ her mother appeared downstairs just before the shop was due to close. Her mother usually stayed upstairs and away from the store, Hailey was never completely certain why but she seemed to find many a task to occupy her time upstairs.

‘Yes mother,’ Hailey smiled, her fingers brushing the corner of the envelope tucked into her pocket. Warmth spreading through her chest at the contact.

‘I was wondering if you’d like to take a walk with me this evening?’ She asked with a gentle smile.

Hailey was taken aback. She loved her mother but similar to how she didn’t come down to the store often, she frequented the outside of their small bubble even less. The idea of being even more delayed from reading Jay’s letter was not appealing but spending time with her mother, that she valued deeply.

‘I’d love to,’ she said softly, knowing that the words on the page would still be there later.

‘I’ll pop down again in a couple of minutes when you’ve closed up,’ she said before turning heel and walking back upstairs.

Hailey wondered what had brought it on but she wasn’t going to question it, they very rarely got to spend any time together.

——————————————————————————

The pair strolled in a pleasant silence down the street, glancing through shop windows and smiling at passers-by.

‘Shall we pop into Mrs Smith’s? Her mother offered and Hailey’s mouth fell open in shock.

‘Really?’ Her mother knew of her love for reading but also knew of her father’s distaste for it.

‘Your birthday is not far off, if you find something you like, maybe it can be an early present for you,’ she smiled, holding open the door for Hailey who passed through it with a wide smile.

‘Miss Hailey, how lovely to see you,’ Mrs Smith said loudly from her position behind the counter. There were stacks of books towering around her, to the untrained eye it looked like chaos but Hailey knew that Mrs Smith knew where every single book was in her store - give her the title or author and she could point to it immediately.

‘Afternoon Mrs Smith, mother and I are just going to have a look around if that’s okay?’ She asked, aware it must be close to closing time for her as well.

‘Of course dear,’ she winked warmly and settled back down to continue to organise the stacks.

This was one of Hailey’s favourite places, the smell of the books, the walls covered with stories that could take you out of Chicago and to somewhere else entirely, she’d spend every hour here if she could.

‘Anything you like Hailey,’ her mother whispered to her with a gentle squeeze to her arm.

‘Are you sure?’ She confirmed, it was so unlike her family to offer to buy her anything. In the back of her mind she wondered what had brought this on. Yes her birthday was coming up, her 18th birthday, but still she expected some material which her mother would fashion into a new dress for her. That’s what she got every year, and she treasured each one even though she knew they always choose the material with the cheapest price tag. Frivolous spending was not something the Upton patriarch approved of.

‘I’m sure,’ her mother nodded.

Hailey pulled her into a tight hug before letting her go just as quick and almost bounding down the aisle. As she walked through the stacks, her fingers dragging along the untouched books, with their perfect spines and untouched pages, she was struck by a sudden thought.

Jay had promised to buy her a new book. She had never owned a new book before and she desperately wanted her first to be from him. She wanted all her firsts to be with him. To accept a new book from someone else, even from her mother, it felt like a betrayal.

But how could she explain to her mother that she didn’t want to accept her very generous gift because she was waiting for a gift from someone she couldn’t know for sure was ever going to return home. That felt rude.

Rude or betrayal. Neither were qualities that Hailey ever wanted to embody.

But her heart won out.

She headed to the back corner where Mrs Smith kept the second hand books. If she could select one of these then she could persuade her mother it was the one she desperately wanted, and as long as Mrs Smith didn’t admit to having a new copy tucked onto a shelf, her mother needn’t know the difference.

Some of these pre-loved books were in a better condition than the ones she had hidden in her wardrobe. She read through the different titles, pulling a few out to flick through their pages before settling on an almost pristine copy of Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. She had been wanting to get her hands on it for a while but the deliveries always arrived in perfect condition so she had been out of luck.

‘Did you find something Hailey?’ Her mother asked as Hailey found her down the home help section looking at the culinary books.

‘I did,’ she said, holding out the chosen book with a smile.

‘This is used,’ her mother noted, ‘it’s your birthday, I can get you a new one.’ She offered with a smile the hid the shame that she wouldn’t normally buy her daughter something unless someone else had owned first.

‘This is the only copy Mrs Smith has,’ she lied and hoped that she wasn’t about to be caught out, ‘but it’s almost new,’ she said with a smile. ‘And I really want to read it,’ she added.

‘If you’re sure,’ her mother asked with a smile. ‘If it’s what you want then it’s what you get.’

With her almost new book tucked under her arm and Jay’s letter still safe in her pocket, they headed back towards the store. Once they were back inside their little apartment, Hailey turned to her mother.

‘Thank you,’ Hailey said, meaning it truly. ‘I’ve had a lovely time with you this evening.’

‘As have I Hailey,’ her mother smiled. ‘I’m sure you are desperate to start to read that book so how about I give you a call when dinner’s ready?’

‘You don’t want me to help?’ Hailey asked, again shocked by her mother’s kind offer.

‘I’ll be fine,’ she said, hanging up her purse on the hook by the kitchen door and swapping it for her apron. ‘I’ll see you in a short while.’

Hailey didn’t question her again and hurried down to her room, closing the door quickly behind her and placing the book on her nightstand. Pulling out Jay's letter, her hands were trembling again.

She had spent weeks imagining what he had written but now the moment was here, a tiny part of her was worried. What if it didn’t contain the beautifully crafted words of love that she had hoped for, what if it was short and blunt and impersonal. All the possibilities swam through Hailey’s mind.

Swallowing deeply, she carefully pried open the envelope, careful not to rip the return address - 3rd Battalion. She would need that to ensure her return got to him safely.

My dearest Hailey,

Firstly please accept all my apologies that this letter is so delayed in getting to you. I won’t bore you with the details but it took us a while to get settled, I shall leave it at that. But please know that every day I wasn’t writing to you, my thoughts were full of you and the short time we spent together.

I hope you liked your present and the book has provided you some hours of enjoyment. I meant what I said, when I return I shall buy you the books you deserve. You deserve everything good Hailey.

All the boys over here have pictures of their sweethearts that they keep in the pockets over their hearts, they say it keeps them safe but I believe it’s so they feel close to them. I don’t want to ask but if you ever wish to gift me a picture of you, please know I will keep it by my heart every moment. You have left a permanent mark there already.

I hope summer is treating you well and you are enjoying yourself and smiling a lot - a smile like yours deserves to be worn with pride.

I do hope you meant it when you said you would write to me, I patiently but eagerly await your response.

You have my heart,

Yours forever,

Jay.

Hailey fell back onto the bed, clutching the letter over her heart.

He had her heart as well and she knew in that moment that he always would.

#upstead #hailey upton #jay halstead #chicago pd #upstead fic #hailey x jay #chicago pd fanfic #one Chicago #upstead fanfic #chicago pd fic #upstead fanfiction #chicago pd fanfiction

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bahbahhh · 2 months

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💖🤩🙌🌷 for the writer asks?

💖 Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

begin again- It was my first time taking on the challenge of completing all prompts for a fandom event as well as incorporating them into a single story. I’m honestly still surprised I was able to get it done in the time I did- I think from outline to final chapter posted, it was 2 months, at 28k+ words!

🤩 What's the most meaningful comment you've ever received?

It’s really hard to pick one. I’m really grateful to have a few that have just really touched me and I’ve made a point to screenshot and save. I do think still about the comments @clara-aeri left on like someone would (which was written in tribute to her and one of my favorite fics) and the glee sends me straight into orbit.

🙌🏻 What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of?

From like someone would, i just love the whole scene this was taken from, and this part in particular was made into a meme in the zelink community discord 🤪

He has made a bad habit of this; learning about himself from the pages of other people’s journals, but people certainly made it a habit to write about him a century ago.

But this is new. Not something left behind or nearly lost to time. The ink is still fresh.

🌷 What's one of your fics that isn't as popular, but you hold dear?

Thank you for listening is a Kass PoV one shot I wrote in an evening. It was written before Totk came out and as if we weren’t getting a sequel.

#thanks for the ask!#ask game #b!talks

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stillwinterair · 5 months

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Howdy kids

My name is Dee! It's not the name I went by for most of my years on Tumblr, but it's the one everyone knows me as. You might remember my url as nyriad, visovari... I went by a bunch of others too, but those are the only two I seem to remember now 😅

The last time I was on Tumblr, I was in the middle of a very difficult period of my life that I didn't really have the tools or support to navigate. But sometimes you gotta go a lil wacky and make some fresh new regrets so you can grow up a lil bit wiser and sexier

I quit the internet pretty much cold turkey for a while and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. I spent a year pretty much focusing on nothing but my immediate surroundings, living in my own skin, learning how to love myself. I've gotten a lot more comfortable being myself, and have grown a lot more connected to the earth.

In my time away, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which even just the diagnosis has significantly improved almost every facet of my life. I've gotten so many new tools and so much new language to express myself and my needs. I've stopped feeling like there is something wrong with me and let go of a lot of shame that I held around myself, my work flow, my ability to focus, my needs for rest, etc. As I've met more people with ADHD, I've grown a lot more empowered and confident. I'm still figuring out what medication works for me (Adderall and Concerta are hell incarnate; Ritalin and Vyvanse are the bee's knees). It's been revolutionary and healing, honestly. Reading the book "Driven to Distraction" was an important first step that I recommend to everyone who's ever thought they might have ADHD, or if you were like me, always felt stupid and slow and always wondered why you never could quite get around to doing all the things you want to do.

I am also currently pursuing a diagnosis for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, as per my doctor's suggestion. I won't get into it too much here, but it is a chronic illness that has made the last year pretty difficult. I have a lot of severe chronic joint pain and lethargy, and it's been... a lot. I'm starting physical therapy soon. This part isn't fun to talk about, but it's becoming an important part of my identity.

I've also met the love of my life, my soon-to-be fiancee, Nathalie! We were inseparable pretty much from the day we met, and spent a year as best friends. And then after that year the sexual tension became too much to handle, and now another year later, here we are, stupidly in love, utterly obsessed with each other, turning every single day into a fun, wacky, new adventure lmao. We've built the most beautiful, trusting, communicative, intimate relationship I've ever experienced and I am so filled with pride and joy and love and happiness every day. We're still best friends -- no force on this earth could ever get us to shut up when we're in the same room. She just fills me with butterflies and glee and light. Nat has this burning desire to create in whatever the most tactile medium she can find is. She loves mechanisms and fibers and all of the ways different materials interact with each other. She inspires me every day to be more open and honest and to pursue whatever creative venture has caught my interest, and I do the same for her. We dance together, create together, and share big emotions and life goals and it's just the most beautiful thing I've ever felt, and this paragraph could go on forever if I don't end it right now

I've also finally started to settle into my writing flow. I've got a space opera that's really beginning to take shape and I'm pretty proud of what it's turning into :) I also have a fantasy saga that's following a few steps behind. Both are things I've been working on for nearly a decade in fits and spurts, but I've done more work on them in the last year than in all previous years combined. I've gotten into more artistic mediums as well: oil painting, photography, beading, and so on. And very into fashion, kind of. Y'all should see my wardrobe these days -- bright colors, crazy patterns, wacky silhouettes. I feel like I finally look like myself. I'm currently rocking a purple mullet and a mustache, so... yeah, I'm having fun with it

I'm not sure how many of my old friends and mutuals are still hanging around, but I wanted to say hey, track a few of you down, and give a little update on how things are going for me post-Tumblr. I am alive, and I'm pretty happy these days. Some days I miss it here, and while I'll never come back in the same capacity as I used to, I wanted to reconnect with some of my old friends that I used to talk to and hang around with every day! I'm gonna poke around over the next while and see who's still around :) honestly I still think about some of y'all on the daily, and I got too curious about how my old friends were doing.

If you want to keep in touch, I'm on Instagram as deehollandaise. I'm on Discord much less often, but if you want to connect there, shoot me a message and I'll share the deets. Warning that I am just straight up not involved in any fandom stuff these days. It's just not for me anymore.

I will be retiring this blog in the new year, setting the whole dang thing to private and probably starting a new one with which to share some of my creative projects. I'll let y'all know about it before that happens.

I don't know, this is all kinda word vomit, I guess I just wanted to let all my old friends know that I'm still here and that I'm finally figuring myself out. I've got a lot to be proud of and grateful for and I've barely scratched the surface, so I'll leave off with some recent photos. Have a hot & sweaty 2024, you sexy things 😘

- Dee

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my-castles-crumbling · 3 months

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💖🤩🔮👄🙊🙌👶🟥🏡💪🚿🍎🥘🎬

a lot of questions lol, sorry

💖 Which of your fics is your pride and joy? Probably Long Story Short, because I worked on it for so long, and it helped me through so much.

🤩 What's the most meaningful comment you've ever received? The comments on LSS that say it helped people work through things, too. Those make me feel so honored. Also, @starchasersunseeker always leaves amazing comments. I look forward to them so much!

🔮What's your favorite plot twist you've ever written? Actually, my favorite one has been brainstormed but hasn't been written yet.

👄 Your OTP are having their first kiss. What song do you imagine is playing? Enchanted- Taylor Swift

🙊Your coworkers or classmates stumble across one of your fics, but don't know you're the author. Do you fess up? Or keep quiet? Hahahahaha absolutely not.

🙌What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of? I'm pretty proud of my most recent chapter of Clandestine!

👶Fankids: How you do you feel about them? Would your OTP have kids? I have no idea what fankids are lol.

🟥How long do you spend in edits? I re-read twice- once in the document to add/take away and once on AO3 to do final edits while adding formatting.

🏡What is your perfect writing envrionment? At home with music!

💪What motivates you to write? I think it's a mixture of brainrot, the enjoyment of healing through writing, and the wonderful comments/love I get from people who read.

🚿Where do your best ideas seem to strike? While listening to music, I think. Or while talking to @starchasersunseeker and @beautyoftheships

🥘What wip are you most excited about? Clandestine, definitely

🎬One of your fics gets turned into a TV series. Which one is it and what network is it on? Probably LSS because it's my only finished longfic lol. I have no idea what network, though.

<3 <3 <3

#ask #asks #ask cas

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and-stir-the-stars · 11 months

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I have to answer the two paragraphs in this ask separately bc my answer for the henry paragraph alone is really long :/

So, before I answer the question, some Henry back story:

After Charlie’s death, Henry doesn't snap. His friends encourage him to take time away from the company, though William doesn't. William continues on mostly as normal, and Henry follows suit; it feels better to chase this illusion of normalcy rather than let himself fall apart. His passion for the company starts fading, though; he stops viewing the customers as families and kids, because the constant reminder of what he lost would be too painful otherwise.

Things continue this way until Elizabeth's death. Elizabeth dies sometime between 6-8 months after Charlie did; Charlie was her closest friend, possibly her only friend, and Elizabeth's temptation toward Circus Baby was rooted not just in wanting a symbol of her abusive father's love, but in wanting a friend and companionship after losing Charlie.

Although neither of them are aware of it, things get tense between William and Henry, because Henry is filled with confusion and rage and pain that William, apparently, handled the death of his daughter so well while Henry himself still feels like he's falling apart every day, despite how long it's been since Charlie’s death.

Henry continues on repressing and ignoring his steadily growing isolation and grief and despair around Charlie’s death. Until the Bite, that is. The Bite probably happens a year and a half to two years after Charlie’s death, and it's what makes Henry finally snap. Evan got put into a coma by Henry's own creation, the thing he once felt such pride and joy from. Liz disappeared at a sister location still thoroughly associated with Fazbear Entertainment. And of course, his own daughter was lost after being locked out of a Fazbear location, and it's clear that in spite of all the years that have passed, nothing has really changed. People are still getting hurt.

So, he tries using his position within the company to force better safety regulations in his daughter's name. He's obsessive about it, though, and he tries to force every idea he comes up with upon the corporation with the same fervor whether the ideas are good, logical ones or objectively terrible, poorly thought out ideas. He rages against anyone who defies him, including William.

Henry continues on this way for almost a year until he burns out. Some friends take him in after that and he takes a leave from the Faz Ent until he can get his feet back under him.

He doesn't come back into the Afton's lives until after Evan is already being manipulated under William’s thumb. Though, I think he does come back before Mike runs away, purely because I think their interactions would be interesting in that period of time.

Henry has moved past pushing his friends away and is now trying to let his friends back in with open arms. Including one William Afton. Henry feels guilty for the way he lashed out and raged when he spiralled after Evan’s near-death; he feels like he hasn't been a very good friend to William, especially if he's still actually harboring any subconscious resentment toward William for what their company has done to their lives. And Henry feels guilty for not supporting Will through Liz's disapearance or Evan's near death the way he feels he should have.

Because of his guilt, Henry is still deep in denial about what Will is and what is going on in the Afton family, which is why I think it'd be interesting if Henry came back before Mike ran away.

Mike has already tried going to Henry for help with William’s abuse countless times only to be eternally denied and guilt tripped in response.

Maybe Mike would try going to Henry for help again now that the abuse has worsened (William being mad that Mike isn't like him, that he has to resort to using Evan instead). Henry has never believed him before, but this time, Evan is hurting Mike, too, so maybe Mike could be desperate enough to try for help one last time.

If Mike tries bringing up, even vaguely or in passing, that Evan has been hurting him or that he's actually kind of scared of Evan now, Henry would still deny, deny, deny. After all, in Henry's eyes, Mike has a long history of "misconstruing situations" and "making a big deal out of nothing." Surely Evan and William don't mean it and aren't acting as harshly as Mike says; besides, what Mike did to Evan (the Bite; I don't know if Henry knows how Mike would torment Evan pre-Bite) was really bad, and it's only logical that Ev and Will, especially Evan, would have a lot of big complicated feeling about it. Mike is just going to have to face the consequences of what he did.

Or, maybe Mike has been burned so many times by Henry before and so genuinely believes that he deserves what Ev and William are doing to him that he (correctly) assumes Henry will tell him it's "not that serious" and refuse to help.

Either way, Henry still turns a blind eye to every red flag he sees in Evan, in William, in Mike. Henry's family has been irreparably torn apart; William’s family doesn't need to be torn apart anymore than it already is either, and Henry will not betray his friend like that again.

Blah blah blah, time passes, Mike runs away, Evan has his first kill, blah blah. And then William and Evan get caught.

I don't know if Henry would attend, let alone take part in, the trial against William after learning what Will did to Charlie and all those kids. It would reawaken a lot of things that Henry had thought he was over by now, and would unearth a lot of stuff he never let himself acknowledge before.

I can honestly see a version of events where Henry intended to be at the trial, but he froze right outside the building on day one. And he stood outside there ages, frozen in place. Too scared to go in. Too angry to go in. Too drowned in grief and horror and confusion. And he doesn't even try going back for the second day of the trial, or any other.

Maybe Mike finds Henry outside on that first day of the trial, sometime before the trial was meant to start. Mike expects-- wants, needs-- Henry to apologize for not believing him about William, for everything he and his siblings went through because Henry was too scared and stubborn to help.

Henry doesn't, too wrapped up in his own grief to think about any of that. Mike murmurs an apology about Charlie and leaves. They don't see each other again after that.

I can think of two versions of events for how Henry affects the boys' lives after Mike gets custody of Evan; we'll start with my least favorite idea first.

If Mike still does get a message from William telling him to go put Elizabeth back together, then this would unlock some of Evan's repressed memories about possession and remnant, and it's possible that after the SL drama, Mike and Evan would decide to do what Mike does in canon: work as night shift security guards to right their father's wrongs and save all the souls he tormented. Well, they wouldn't work as night guards (plural), because Fazbear Entertainment is too cheap to pay two people for a one-person job, and Mike would never condone Evan doing this alone; if they do it together at all, it would have to be Mike gets the job and sneaks Evan (and Jeremy?) inside the building to help. Mike and Evan would be operating under Henry's nose (Henry gets control of the company after William’s capture) before potentially running into Henry in some pizza sim-esque encounter (sans Scrap Baby and Scraptrap, ofc, since Liz's soul is freed and William is on death row and/or already dead via capital punishment).

I don't like this one because, while it is interesting to a degree, it just doesn't feel very saffron pawn-esque. The whole point of the au is to separate Evan and Mike from possession and the sins of their father to work on healing their relationship and their trauma. Sister location makes sense in this au since their sister is there, but having them try to free every last spirit? I just. Don't vibe.

So, the other scenario would be Henry just... shows up in the brothers' lives, seemingly at random. Maybe he wants to rekindle their connection. Maybe Mike inherited part of the company and Henry needs him for a business deal, or Henry needs Mike's co-operation to finally shut down Fazbear Entertainment for good. Maybe Henry is there for answers about Charlie since he never had the courage to face William. Maybe Henry is there for another reason entirely. Haven't quite worked it out yet.

I think at this point, Henry has the awareness to recognize that yes, Mike reached out to him about William’s abuse countless times and, yes, him not believing Mike opened up the Afton kids to a world (or like. An entire multiverse) of pain that they otherwise would not have had to go thru if Henry had tried putting a stop to it.

But I also think that Henry is far from perfect. He's a broken man by this point, and his method of keeping himself together? It includes, you guessed it: denial.

Henry tells himself that he had no reason to believe any of it.

No reason to believe that William was abusive.

No reason to believe Mike wasn't just over reacting or misunderstanding his family.

No reason to believe that William would have hurt kids.

No reason to believe William was violent.

No reason to believe William would have hurt Charlie.

Henry tells himself that he didn't really have the capacity to make things better, because although things WOULD have been better if he had intervened, he "had no reason to."

So, no, the Afton kids don't get an apology, at least not one that matters. They don't even get any proper sympathy.

Now that my piecing together of Henry's character is out of the way, onto your questions.

Does Jem know about Henry? Mike has probably mentioned before that there was an adult he loved and trusted in his youth, someone he viewed as family, and that the whole town loved and adored, that he tried reaching out to only to be abandoned and left to suffer, but Mike wouldn't have gone into specifics on what happened. Even if he did (at Jem's request, likely), Mike would have left Henry's name out of it. Still, once Henry re-enters the boys' lives, it isn't hard for Jeremy to put the pieces together.

How do the boys react?

I talk some about their reactions here

Basically, @crumbleclub proposed the idea that Evan doesn't know Henry blatantly ignored all the red flags in their lives, including Mike straight up telling him what was happening. Evan's excited to have his uncle back in his life, but he doesn't understand the animosity growing between Mike and Henry. He's angry at them both for taking something that should be good and turning it into soemthing that hurts, and because he doesn't know why Mike and Henry are so tense around each other, Evan doesn't know whose side to be on.

But when Evan finally finds out the truth-- that Henry knew what was going on their house and did nothing? That Henry was fully capable of stopping things before Evan literally became a child murderer that pushed Mike out onto the streets to suffer alone-- two things he still regrets and feels he can never make up for--, yet Henry did nothing? Evan snaps. He tears the room he's in apart. He lashes out at anyone nearby-- shoving, hitting, punching, throwing things, screaming-- whether they're the cause of his pain or not. Mike probably has to hold him down so Evan doesn't hurt himself or anyone else. And it's just an awful scene tbh, because Mike is comforting Evan through the same horrible realization Mike had ages ago. He's bearing witness to a similar pain, and comforting Evan through it is almost like comforting his last self. And it's almost validating for Mike to a degree, because at least if Evan’s upset about it, then all the time Mike spent hurt and upset about Henry is valid, too.

The whole thing definitely ends with Mike giving Henry a firm "get the fuck away from my family."

They don't forgive him. They don't want anything to do with him.

#also toying w the idea of jeremy doing something to henry w/out mike or evan knowing #dunno what it would be tho. would jem threaten him? just tell him to leave before he makes things worse?#saffron pawn au #tw child abuse

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seven-stars-in-his-palm · 3 months

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okay i thought id split these up hahah so for the fandom questions: 23 & 30 and for the fic writer questions: 15 & 25 :))

AWLRIGHT AWLRIGHT KETS JUST DO THIS!!!!! Thanks so much for these fucking things…. AMAZING

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond on & explain why you like it.

mmmmmmm honestly the failed bullet catch became a fic im REALLY proud of. i wasnt expecting it to get the traction it did so the fact that!!!!! it!!!! got people hurting and feeling and !!!!! im so glad it did! its one of my favorite ‘what what you wanna read’ fics (id been wanting a full watching the consequences of their actions’ failed bullet catch fic SO BAD and i’d only ever seen Some of a potential situation but not All and i WANTED IT and then i saw that ask and i was like FINEEEEEE so i did it and and and PAIN!!!!!! i like it and i cant wait to finish it and start working on my other projects :))

30. What inspires you to write?

an idea i wanna see in detail. like i have daydreams but i love something so much i can feel it enough to flesh it out, i WILL. its my joy <3 not much more than that, really, except to make people feel things i do and inflict my machinations. yeah

and for fic writer questions….

15) why did you start writing?

kinda connected to whats above—i saw something in my head, i cant just describe it, you have to see it the way i do, so i turned it to writing. i MUST . and its easier than filmaking tbh—if i had the choice i’d do that, but since its. well Expensive. a side writer thing i much more sustainable ✊ I STILL LOVE IT THO. its my pride and JOYYYYYY

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

so this hasnt been published and it wont be for a while but this is from The Scene in stars in a jar that the whole au exists for. THIS SCENE. and a potential silly season 3 but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it LETSGO okay i had to pick between two tiny parts that i LOVEEEE but i finally chose, bc this is the actual Subject of the conversation. elts se….

“It’s not as scary as you think it is,” Crowley says. “Being nothing means that there won’t be anything to see. You’re just… nowhere. S’peaceful, or something.”

Aziraphale sighs. “That sounds lonely.”

“I’m not saying it isn’t. But, hey, if we both get destroyed today, at least we’ll be nothing together.”

“Everywhere and nowhere,” the angel says, as if trying to concept out. “Limbo between matter and light, together. That…doesn’t sound so bad.”

HSVSSJBSGEUSGSHGEHESG THANKS AGAIN!!!!! ❤️

#ask game

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mysticraven20 · 2 months

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for the fic asks:

💖 🙌🍎📈🛌

💖 Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

Gabriel Gets Used To… — The first fic was written during a writers block. I decided to write from another characters POV and chose Gabriel Agreste. I love this one will all my heart!

The Situationship — to me it’s everything I stand for as a writer. Romance. Humour. And a dash of seriousness!

🙌What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of?

The proposal in Let’s Be Us Again

Marinette watched as a wide smiling Adrien let go of her hands and moved in front of her, dropping down onto one knee and offering the box up towards her. She was almost blinded as he opened the lid, the city lights reflecting off the emerald cut diamond and making it look nothing less than magical.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, this is the engagement ring of Adrien Agreste, which grants the power of my unwavering love and devotion for my remaining years to come. You'll use it for the greater good. Once the mission is over, you'll be mine forever.... Can I trust you?”

🍎What's something you learned while researching for a fic?

While writing Poisson d’Avril! I learned a lot more about the French tradition of sticking fish on each other’s back on April Fools Day. That was fun!

📈Which are your top three most popular fics by bookmarks?

A Masked Deal

"I know we both struggle with holding down a relationship, and obviously if villains are still around we're never going to be able to commit, so how about we commit to each other? If neither of us are in a relationship by twenty-two we marry each other."

Two heroes ... Ladybug and Chat Noir

One deal ... "If we're not married, we'll marry each other.

One reveal ... on the wedding day

A Renewed Friendship

Adrien Agreste was a famous Olympian. He'd given up everything to pursue his dream, much to his fathers dislike. But an injury takes him out the sport forever and his playboy attitude from over the past three years is causing trouble for his aspiring career.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a designer who wishes to become famous. She is struggling to get her big break thanks to being black listed by none other that Gabriel Agreste, Adrien's father. She dreams for her little company to expand and finally get the recognition it deserves.

Perhaps these two old friends can help each other out. He needs to change his playboy imagine and she needs someone to wear her designs and take her seriously.

No kwami's or Miraculous

Inspired by ‘Fix Her Up’ by Tessa Bailey

The Honey Trap

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was fed up of men and after finding her fiancé in bed with somebody else, she was hell-bent that no woman would ever feel the way she did.

A year on and she is one of Paris’ most successful honey trappers.

Still recovering from the emotional turmoil of not only her failed relationship but also from the one night of bliss with her childhood crush, Marinette puts all her time and energy into exposing cheating men. That is until a unique opportunity comes up.

Three years after their night together, Adrien Agreste is back in her life, and she has six weeks to trap him. The only problem is Adrien isn’t the only one keeping secrets and Marinette finds herself in a tangled web of secrets, lies and lust.

🛌 What's a trope you haven't written, but want to?

I’d like to write a brother’s best friend/worst enemy trope…but it would be quite difficult to write in this fandom and I’m not sure anyone would read it!

#adrienette #ladynoir #marinettedupaincheng #adrienagreste #miraculous #fanfic ask game #ask games #ask me anything #ask game

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intosnarkness · 5 days

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for the fanfic emoji asks!

💖 🙌 🥘 🛌

thank u!

💖 Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

Older Than I Once Was is probably the furthest out of my own cultural experience I've ever written and the fact that I scrapped the entire first draft when a sensitivity reader looked at it and was like "this is... not it" and then i bought multiple books and rewrote and honestly, it's probably the hardest I've ever worked on a fic.

🙌What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of?

He's quiet, and she finally looks up to find him smiling at her. She wants to keep that smile in her front pocket for the rest of her life, something to take out and look at when she needs to feel warm.

- some things I mean

🥘What wip are you most excited about?

Honestly, the Colm Fahey/Marya Van Eck epistle is something I am deeply into right now. I can't believe it hasn't been done in this fandom? Like, your 17-year-old son who you just found out has been lying to you about dropping out of university and is involved in a fucking violent gang has decided to move in with his 16-year-old boyfriend to run a company and it's just so fucking fertile. I hope other people find it as fascinating as I do.

🛌 What's a trope you haven't written, but want to?

I have 99 problems and they're all arraigned marriage. Just have to find the right way for it to work.

(context)

#meme #talkback #tough-n-dumb

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redbatchedcumbermayned · 16 days

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🙌+ 🏡

🙌What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of?

From chapter 18 of Much Ado About The Lord Captain about the ribbon tying is at the moment my favourite:

She smiled at him. A shy smile that Heinrix wasn’t used to from her. His fingers trembled as he took the band of fabric from her. He needed four tries, and the final result did not match the intricate knot he carried on his wrist. It was a rather simple bow.

“Is this sufficient? Or does it have to match?”

“It’s fine. They never really match. That makes it so beautiful.” Isha brushed over the hairs on the back of his hand. “Now, wherever you have to go, and I can’t follow, you know there’s someone waiting and hoping for your safe return. As a friend.”

His heart fluttered in his chest. Heinrix wanted to pull her into his embrace, but he hesitated. He had asked a lot of her already, and he had promised her an honest conversation. And after that – if she still wanted him – he would throw caution to the wind and himself to her feet and ask for her forgiveness. Most ardently.

🏡What is your perfect writing envrionment?

I'm getting pretty good at writing wherever I just happen to be, but I still need a proper keyboard to write on, so no writing on my phone or tablet. Ideally I have one of my cats close by, a lot of time ahead of me, a nice cup of tea on my desk, and a lot of inspiration. :)

Questions from this ask game:

#ask game #questions for writers

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boundinparchment · 28 days

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Happy Sunday! 🍎🙌🚿

💖 Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

Already answered! <3

🙌What’s a line or paragraph of yours that you’re proud of?

""I do not promise anything when it comes to my work; such oaths are nothing more than lies wrapped up with a bow and I deal only in truths," Zandik whispered. "Should that happen, it changes nothing." It changed everything, you wanted to scream. He would finally be able to get what he wanted, free himself from one Celestial shackle, done with the circular logic of trying to make predestination make sense amid all his own work. Omega would win. And you would be left hollow. Again. Left with nothing but memories of what used to be possible, of the connections ripped from you, choice truly taken from you. Either way, you lost and you didn't work for close to two decades only to… "How would it not—" you started, the words stuck in your throat like thick porridge. "Nothing, rooh 'albi. And no one will take that choice from me. No one."" - Dream a Little Dream of Me - Ch. 46

🚿Where do your best ideas seem to strike?

Usually when it's first thing in the morning after I just woke up or when I'm curled up in bed with a migraine trying to entertainment myself back to sleep. Outside of those, it's collective brainrot that makes me go, 'hold that thought'.

From: fanfic writer emoji ask game part ii

#juni chats

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calamarikitty · 1 year

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warriors oc!! yay!!

errmmmm first tumblr post this is littlepaw she is my pride and joy n i adore her!! she's the windclan medicine cat apprentice and she has a crush on the shadowclan med cat app, maggotpaw!! hopefully i can cook up a maggotpaw ref soon but for now there's just littlepaw, idk how much traction this is gonna get i have no idea how to work tumblr i feel like a dinosaur!

IMAGE ID: Littlepaw, a Warriors OC, stands with a shocked expression on her face. She has twisted hind legs dragging behind her, a luna moth's wing behind her ear, and flowers in her fur. They're a cinnamon and white classic tabby cat. There are several paragraphs of text and arrows around them. The first arrow points to her ear tufts, and reads "leaf ear tufts!". The second arrow points to their moth wing accessory and reads "moth wing behind ear to ref her full med cat name". The third arrow points to her legs and reads "has numbness in legs, but not devoid of feeling. The fourth arrow also points to her legs, and reads "twisted hind legs from birth, sometimes wears splint (mostly when she sleeps)". The final arrow points to their paw and reads "legs a bit muddy from constantly dragging." There is a simple illustration on the right side of Littlepaw that shows Littlepaw and an average apprentice for size comparison. Littlepaw is very short, and the text under describes how her ear tufts make her look larger.

#first tumblr post woo #warrior cats #warriors #warrior cat oc #warriors oc #wc oc #windclan #medicine cat #wc designs #warrior cats oc #fanart #erin hunter

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eliashirsch · 11 months

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Back in January, I finished a Top Gun/Mission Impossible crossover fanfiction with Maverick and Ethan being the same person and sort of a mesh of all the movies. And then, I moved on to writing another crossover with Pacific Rim (my absolute favorite movie ever).

And down we go the spiral of obsession that led me to this point in time where I could not go a single day without thinking about these idiots. And six months later, I finally finished the draft after three rounds of revision. It’s called What Was Three Has Become One. It’s my pride and joy, the place I escaped when college becomes tough, and living in another country almost made me lose my mind.

So I want to share some of the developments from the first draft to the final (the one in blue)!

Here’s from Chapter 1:

The biggest difference I noticed was how I decided to slow down the pacing a bit, flesh out how Mav is for longer paragraphs instead of jumping straight to the Kaiju. Which made sense at the time. I was trying to finish this draft as quick as possible, riding off on the high from finishing NaNoWriMo, so I wanted to write a 50k draft in a month (which I succeeded).

But the result of that was a lot of moments that should be slowed down, the feelings and vibe a little more carefully written and sharpened. It was a bitch to revise.

What I notice the most is that some of the earlier paragraphs jump around a topic too much. The sentences were choppy and not well put together. In the final draft I decided to slow down and actually add in some words related to Mav’s characterization rather than the plot. And I really like that! I think it added to the reason why we should root for him.

So when you’ve written over 80k words of a character, you learn more about them than when you started. Their motivation, their needs, why they choose to keep fighting. So when I went back to revise, I decided to change the voice a little bit.

This Mav chose to fight against Kaijus. He chose to be a Jaeger pilot and participate in ending the war. It wasn’t a coincidence, wasn’t because he was in the right moment or the right place. He’s the one who made the decision. And that sort of ties in with the theme of the whole story. Was it worth it? And I love that it sort of ties in with how I was feeling at the time. I got to this point in my life through a series of choices, and after the decision was made, all I could think of was if it was worth it or not.

And I’ve only uploaded to chapter 5, and there’s a LOT more to come in the later chapters. More angst, more plot, more Icemav. So look out for more updates!

(Also, I’m pretty proud of the names I picked for their Jaegers:D)

#icemav #top gun #pacific rim #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #writing

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astrowaffles · 9 months

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📝 How many words do you have posted?

🤩 What's the most meaningful comment you've ever received?

🔮What's your favorite plot twist you've ever written?

💖 Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

🎭What genre of writing comes easiest to you?

🙌What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of?

🙊Your coworkers or classmates stumble across one of your fics, but don't know you're the author. Do you fess up? Or keep quiet?

🏡What is your perfect writing envrionment?

🤷‍♀️What's a fic you didn't expect to be popular, but really took off?

💪What motivates you to write?

😱What's your greatest fear as a fanfic writer?

📈Which are your top three most popular fics by bookmarks?

😁What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?

🎵Do you make playlists for your fics?

It's taken me so long to start actually answering my asks that I've completely lost this ask game to the depths of the internet. Thank you, Past Jammie, for adding the questions as well as the emojis!

cut because this is gonna be a long one...

How many words have you posted?

154,487 as of 16/09/2023

What's the most meaningful comment you've ever received?

Any comment saying 'THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE THING' ... I'm lucky enough to have received a few, and I'm proud to have converted readers to my various delulu agendas.

HOWEVER, in recent times, I got a comment on The Final Incident. It was very long, but it essentially boiled down to the commenter not having a good relationship with their family, and Gojo & Megumi having healed them a little. I thought that was beautiful, and I was so honoured to be part of their comfort...

What's your favourite plot twist you've ever written?

I don't write plots, or twists, so this is hard. In fact, I've come to the unfortunate and very boring conclusion that this is an impossible question :(

Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

The Megumi-Isn't-Breathing Incident. It's one of my sadder fics and not at all what I usually write, which makes me extra proud because I think it came out beautifully. Sometimes it's awkward to read the comments, though, because they just point out that my gojo kinnie is showing...

What genre of writing comes easiest to you?

Chaotic fix-its where nothing goes wrong and everyone's friends. I like to think I'm good at writing ridiculous, pointless dialogue that goes on for years.

What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of?

Gojo Satoru is the strongest, he is untouchable, he can do anything anywhere any time. He has Six Eyes and ten fingers and four limbs but he isn't quite human, is what he always thinks.

Your coworkers or classmates stumble across one of your fics, but don't know you're the author. Do you fess up? Or keep quiet?

I stay ABSOLUTELY SILENT FOREVER. What they don't know can't hurt them

What is your perfect writing environment?

Silence, no people around me, but in a comfortable place like my room. I am easily distractable and my best work is bashed out in one sitting.

What's a fic you didn't expect to be popular, but really took off?

My Gojo & Megumi series. I wrote it because it's niche and there isn't enough content, but suddenly it's become my most popular work? I'm The Gojo and Megumi Guy to some of my readers. It's insane. I think more people are coming to the fandom due to Ep5 of Season 2, but it's still mad ....

What motivates you to write?

A good idea. If I have an idea, I can't rest until it's written down somehow, no matter how hapehazardly. If I'm uninspired, absolutely nothing will happen, even if the plot is all pre-planned out.

What's your greatest fear as a fanfic writer?

a) being scraped for AI or having someone steal my work, b) being permanently banned from A03, and c) Being Discovered by irls.

Which are your top three most popular fics by bookmarks?

The Megumi-Is-Gojo's-Son Incident

The Megumi-Isn't-Breathing Incident

The Megumi-Is-Tired Incident

What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?

Comments, and asks are a close second. I love it when people interact with me!

Do you make playlists for your fics?

Only if I'm really into them but I don't want to write anymore. I have a playlist for the megumi & gojo incident, and a general iwaoi one.

Thanks for the ask!

#astro speaks wonders #jammie 👹

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