#the conjuring tv series
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#ig story#megan ashley brown#young lorraine warren#lorraine warren#ed warren#vera farmiga#patrick wilson#the conjuring tv series#hbo max#religious horror#horror genre#paranormal/supernatural
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Ed Warren | The Conjuring
#ed warren#patrick wilson#the conjuring 2#the conjuring#movies#cinema#film#indie film#movieedit#cinematography#tv series#series#movie scenes
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Can’t sleep so guess I’ll start watching! CONJURING KESHA👻✨💀
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poltergeist enfield
The Enfield poltergeist was a claim of supernatural activity at 284 Green Street, a council house in Brimsdown, Enfield, London, England, between 1977 and 1979. The alleged poltergeist activity centred on sisters Janet (11) and Margaret Hodgson (13).
Some members of the Society for Psychical Research (SPR), such as inventor Maurice Grosse and writer Guy Lyon Playfair, believed the haunting to be genuine, while others such as Anita Gregory and John Beloff were "unconvinced" and found evidence the girls had faked incidents for the benefit of journalists. Members of the Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal (CSICOP), including stage magicians such as Milbourne Christopher and Joe Nickell, criticized paranormal investigators for being credulous whilst also identifying elements of the case as being indicative of a hoax.
The story attracted press coverage in British newspapers, has been mentioned in books, featured in television and radio documentaries, and dramatised in the 2016 horror film The Conjuring 2.
Investigations
Paranormal :
Society for Psychical Research (SPR) members Maurice Grosse and Guy Lyon Playfair reported: "curious whistling and barking noises coming from Janet's general direction." Although Playfair maintained the paranormal activity was genuine and wrote in his later book This House Is Haunted: The True Story of a Poltergeist (1980) that an "entity" was to blame for the Enfield disturbances, he often doubted the children's veracity and wondered if they were playing tricks and exaggerating. Still, Grosse and Playfair believed that, even though some of the alleged poltergeist activity was faked by the girls, other incidents were genuine. Other paranormal investigators who studied the case included American demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren, who visited the Enfield house in 1978 and were convinced that the events had a supernatural explanation.
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I'm seeing that Stranger Things may be getting spinoffs. This show is already suffering from a The Conjuring style series rot as it is, can't wait for some stupid Annabelle or The Nun-esque garbage side lore series too.
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Small Traditions
Simon starts to notice the small signs that his mother would do when he was young to what he now does with his girls
A/N: GUYS naturally I had to use @ave661 art cause listen ovaries HURT anytime she posts the dad!simon series 😭
“That she's gettin' older and I wish that you'd met her. The things that she'll learn from me, I got them all from you.”
Warnings: angst, fluff, dad!simon, mentions of childhood trauma, missing mom hours, swearing
Taglist
simon x reader guide
simon x reader family
Simon was finally able to actually spend time with his baby girl. He was gone for a while, 3 months to be exact. Which made his baby 6 months old, he missed out on appointments and her first roll over on her tummy. So when he came home, he made it a mission to spend anytime and every time with her.
When she woke up early in the morning he turned to you, feeling you getting up. “No love stay asleep, ‘ll get the little one.” He mumbled, waking up a bit.
You hummed and laid back down immediately passing back out. Simon put on a black shirt as he adjusted his sweats as well. He made his way to his babygirl’s room. She was standing up holding onto the rail of her crib. Her smile beaming as she giggled, jumping up and down.
“Ah isn’t the little rascal,” Simon smiled chuckling lightly. She reached up for him as he picked her up. She placed his head on his shoulder and gripped his shirt. “I’m happy to see ya too princess.”
Simon changed her diaper and started to make his way into the kitchen. His daughter cooed as he held her close. She would play with his shirt or put it in her mouth. “See ya starting’ to teethin’.” He said softly, letting her suck the shirt.
After making the bottle he went into the living room to put on the tv. He set her on the couch with him on the edge, she was old enough to hold the bottle herself so he just watched. Her hands gripping her bottle as she chugged the milk down.
Simon chuckled now sitting on his calfs. “Damn little one, ya that hungry?”
He never knew if she was listening or even understanding by how her eyes would just stare blankly. As he stared at her, he noticed the small things. The features that would bring his heart to swell but also break a bit. The dimples that she had were in the same spot that his mother had.
Simon picked her little feet up and played with them as he thought. His mother would be proud of where he is at. The family he created after all the pain he went through. Never would have thought to be a father, after what he saw with his father. He was afraid to become him. To be him. Yet here he was, with a baby girl.
“Grandma would have loved ya,” He mumbled kissing her little socked feet. She sighed as she fought back a laugh, she was very ticklish on her feet. Just like Tommy, as kids Simon used to piss him off by tickling his feet. Simon inhaled deeply before shaking his head. He didn’t need to get emotional, there was no need. However just the way his daughter had some of the features conjured them. “Would love the way you look so much like me, have some similarities from her, hell Uncle Tommy would make fun of actually settling down.” He chuckled to himself.
He never thought even before the tragedy of his family that he would settle down. Family was plagued by his father. His childhood made Simon not want to give his own children one solely on fear of course. Yet here he is. Half of him and half of you. He would never trade it for the world.
Simon has even noticed the things he would do that his mother would do before his father was shunned away from the family. The way she would hum particular child songs to calm both him and his brother down. How when dad wasn’t home, she would whip up a random treat, particularly peanut butter bars. In which, your child has become addicted to them. Or when putting him to bed she would say ‘never forget, you’re smart, you’re handsome, and you’re loved.’ Instead his babygirl would be replacing handsome with beautiful.
Simon would only do it when you weren’t around, whispering it softly. Even though he doesn’t know you usually are around the corner, listening to him, with tears. Simon noticed these things as time grew on with his daughter. It didn’t hit him until now. Thinking of all the things that his mom would do with her grand baby. The family dinners. The babysitting. The holidays. All of it.
Simon noticed that tears were at the edge of his eyes. He shook his head and coughed then grabbed her little feet and softly ran his thumb from her heel to her tiny toes. “Ya made me soft ya brat.” He tickled her foot as she let out a laugh kicking his hands away.
Years gone past and now he has three of them. He stood in the kitchen as he placed lunches in certain boxes. You needed help as you did hair and gathered their school things. Simon never could do hair hell not even his youngest’s hair and she was 1. “Dad! I can’t find my shoes!” Millie yelled as she ran down the stairs.
Simon sighed and smirked. “Well since you didn’ put them away, I threw them in the trash.”
Millie stopped in her tracks and had the same smirk that was on his face on hers. “Uh huh, really though please.”
Simon smiled and nodded. “‘ight ‘light, they’re in the closet with the coats,” She shook her head and went towards the door. Simon placed the last thing in the last box. “Start puttin’ them in ya room yeah?”
Millie nodded and looked at him. “Aye,” She walked up to him and lifted her finger. “Love ya see you after?”
Simon looked down at her finger, his mom would tap his finger, going once up and they would switch sides and tap again. It was their way of saying bye and love you when dad had his beer and game review on. Simon smiled and tapped her finger as they flipped them over to do it again. “I’ll be pickin’ ya both up.”
“Daddy! Daddy,” His head snapped up to see his second daughter soaring down the stairs. “Look what mum did!” Her hair was in to braids that linked into one large one. A smile beaming on her face. Showing one of the dimples his mother once had.
Simon chuckled grabbing a small piece of it before placing his thumb on her cheek. “Looks beautiful Alli,” He said softly then kissed her on her forehead. Simon looked up the stairs and saw you smiling down, holding the newborn. “Ya takin’ them?”
You nodded as you walked down the stairs. “Yes I have to grab more things from the store.”
Simon and you already talked about the store and her taking Millie and Allison to school. Simon pushed and pushed to only get pushed back, eventually compromises came and he staying to give you a break from the 2 month old. Then he could pick up the girls after school. You handed Tessa over to Simon. “Already changed just needs to be held. Needy this morning.” You whispered kissing Simon softly on the lips.
“Roger,” He mumbled as he kissed her one more time hearing Allison fake gag. Simon chuckled as he turned handing you the boxes. “Packed and ready.”
“Thank you,” You smiled, grabbing them, and ushering the older two out the door. “I’ll be back!”
“Bye dad!” Millie yelled walking out first.
“Bye daddy!” Allison followed suite turning to sign ‘I love you’ with one hand.
Simon did it back cradling Tessa between his chest and bicep. You smiled at him, kiss towards him. He smiled as the door shut. Tessa wiggled and started to whine. “Shh shh,” He whispered looking down at her. “It’s ‘light we can go down stairs and watch somethin’ yeah?”
Later that day Millie and Allison opened their lunch boxes that day and found a small sugary snack with a note attached reading; ‘what do you call an angry carrot… A steamed veggie.’ They always loved it, having notes from dad that had terrible jokes even if Millie would roll her eyes and smirk. She loves them.
You didn’t know about it until the next day. You were check boxing everything that was needed to grab as Simon helped with Tessa. When you opened it you saw the note, chuckling to yourself. Millie stood next to you and looked at you. “Dad says that Grandma Riley would leave jokes for him and Tommy.”
You looked over at her and up to the stairs, making sure he wasn’t coming yet. “Oh really?”
“Yeah,” Millie smiled. “I always read ‘em to my friends. Just don’t tell him. His head will inflate more.” She joked grabbing her box.
You smiled as you watched Simon come down the stairs in his uniform. “I shouldn’ be long,” he mumbled having his balaclava in his pocket. Millie frowned as did Allison. “I told Uncle Price I’ll be late to take you two.” He smiled at them as their faces calmed into a soft content expression.
Simon handed Tessa to you and kissed your cheek. “I’ll be home no later than 8.” You nodded and watched them go out the door.
Simon opened the door for both Millie and Allison to get in as they went down the street. “Was Grandma Riley fun?” Millie asked nonchalantly as she looked out the window.
Simon could feel his throat hitch from the sudden question. “Yes.”
“Do you do things like she did to us?”
Simon looked in the rear view mirror for a brief moment. Only if she knew, all the things his mother taught him has been passed down to his girls. After his father was kicked out for good his mother was more open about good parenting, she always was of course. However there wasn’t any hidden signs or anything of the sort. Even when he was older, when confrontation came around, she was kind and gentle. Since both him and his brother didn’t know how to handle or deal with situations as so. 
Simon taught his girls to be polite and kind to everyone. Just like his mother was. Everything she did that he remembered he wanted to pass along. Simon inhaled for a moment. “Ya know the finger taps,” Both her and Allison nodded their heads. “That came from grandma. It was our sign to say love you and bye.”
Allison smiled. “Did she do the night routine?”
Simon smiled. “Yes.”
It was silent again before Millie shifted a bit. “Grandma Riley sounded cool.”
Simon smiled again and nodded. “She would have loved all of ya.”
It was good silent as he stopped in front of the school, as kids packed to go inside. Allison opened the door and turned with her finger out. Simon and her did the signature finger taps as she hopped out. He waited until she caught up with friends that were right outside the car. Then he went to Millie’s school.
“What happened to them?” Millie asked, Simon knew that eventually the girls would put two and two. Uncle Tommy and Grandma Riley not around, yet dad talks highly of them? It would make a tween curious.
Simon took a second to think of the answer. He never told you until 3 years of your guys’ relationship. Millie was too young to know but he couldn’t lie to her either. “Someday I will tell you.” Was all he could say to it.
Millie nodded and chuckled. “Was she terrible at the jokes like you?”
Simon laughed a bit. “Terrible? My jokes are amazin’!”
Millie rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Yeah yeah.” Simon pulled up in front of the school and he turned to her. She unbuckled and lifted her finger, smiling. “Glad you keeping’ traditions dad. Grandma would be happy.”
Simon felt his chest tighten as he smiled it off. Doing the taps. “She would be happy indeed,” He nodded his head to the school. “Get goin’ ya love the joke today by the way.”
Millie laughed as she opened the door and shook her head once more. “Yeah maybe.”
Simon watched until she got into the school and drove to the base. “You would have loved ‘em mum.” He mumbled to himself as he kept the tears at bay.
Even through all the hardships, he will be forever grateful for his mother and her teachings. He hopes that one day that she will meet his family, the family that he knows she would have loved. To see how much as changed in Simon that he thought that could never happen. So she could see that not only her that showed him unconditional love even through the darkest parts but how his girls have showed him as well.
Simon sighed as he relaxed. Yeah, she would have loved them all.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#call of duty modern warfare#simon ‘ghost’ riley#call of duty#call of duty mw2#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost#simon ghost x reader#call of duty simon riley#call of duty simon ghost riley#simon x reader#simon “ghost” riley#simon ghost riley x f!reader#simon ghost riley x female reader#simon ghost riley x wife!reader#simon riley x y/n#simon riley fluff#simon riley angst
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The word that made the difference
Summary: You knew you had to get professional help even if you did not want to, Dazai’s words and actions made it absolutely clear to you he wouldn’t tolerate anything else, and Chuuya seemed to silently agree with him. Still the answer you got was not for the question you asked; but that one word was enough to make you reevaluate everything.
Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya xfem! Reader (skk x fem!reader)
Author note: An independent continuation of Desperate times series, and next part of Happy unhappy home! Check that series out if you’d like more angst, skkx reader, new parents, all that and see more of what happened right before this scene!
Warning: Cursing, depression/postpartum depression, New parents/exhausted parents =bad choices/reactions, Angst,
Enjoy~
Pregnant
The word felt unfamiliar- surreal- like a misdiagnosis wrapped in excuses, wrapped in women’s issues and wrapped in reasons to get you out of the office. Yet it was as if that singular word explained everything you had experienced lately and nothing at all. Maybe it explained the hopelessness, the darkness, the unbearably tense existence that has become your home; but it could not explain the way you felt about the twins. The inability to connect with them. Or the inability to feel any warmths from Dazai and Chuuya. Perhaps, at this point, you were so ruined and wrong that you could not connect with anyone. Not the twins, not Dazai and not Chuuya.
We think you have postpartum depression
A part of you wanted to stand up, run out of the medical office and into the waiting room right outside where the four of them were waiting. To rub it into the two mafioso's faces that they were wrong. Ha the geniuses were not genius enough to sidestep medical school, and it wasn’t as easy as to use some template they took from god-knows-where and assed you by it instead of talking with you, asking you, helping you. They were wrong- you were right. You won.
But what was your prize?
“ I have never had a reason to hit you. You’ve always been a smart girl- don’t give me another reason to do it. Again. If you’re sick- get help.”
Dazai’s words from a day ago rang in your ears. His tone, the iciness in his gaze as he brought you down to the knees in cold standing water with a single slap repeated itself in your mind. Like a never-ending loop it played before your eyes. Your mind, the twisted bastard, hadn't left the image unchanged, but rather conjured up the way it must have looked from all angles; from the side, from above and even from below. Driving in the humiliation further. Like some dramatic exaggerated scene out of a soap opera, a middle aged housewives tv-series, and the act was meant to be a huge burden for the main stars in season one but then it gets solved three episodes later.
Forgiven and forgotten.
But this wasn’t a soap opera, this wasn’t some lame drama created to satisfy lonely women as they waited for their loving husbands to come home from golf. This was reality. Your reality- your life. And soon, not only your own. That one realization grounded; it was enough to escape the clutches of shock and confusion and placed you back inside the small, simple medical office and the woman opposite you.
“ Well yeah, it’s no wonder you’ve been feeling like shit the last few weeks. I’d say congratulations but really— “
Yosano’s voice faded into the background again; your mind tiffany twisted, drowned out her words as more flashbacks pulled you under the surface of reality. Simple things, comparisons like the joy last pregnancy brought and the dread this one carried. How caring, sweet and gentle it started but how difficult the previous one ended; and how difficult this one started while the thought of it getting worse filled you with dread.
Blood rushed to your ears; your pounding heart overshadowed all sounds, dulled the quiet medical office into an obnoxiously loud space. Your vision blurred, tunneled and span. Inadvertently you pressed the fingers of your shaking hand to your eyes and rubbed them, then shook your head to try and clear the dark dots which played in your sight.
You wondered how and why it happened. You couldn’t fathom the idea that you were, yet again, carrying a life inside you. No, it was absurd. Surely Yosano was mistaken, it hadn’t even gone that long since the twins were born and–
All at once the reality came crashing back down again. You were back on the hard chair, back opposite Yosano and suddenly very aware of every inch of the office. And the continuation of her displeased rant; the way her tone grew louder, annoyance sipped into every syllable. The barely held back curses which evidently played on the tip of her tongue. Yet she tried to look casual, head rested in the palm of her hand, body language open and turned towards you. But the anger was undeniable in the way her second hand gripped the pen, almost snapped it in half and poured the goey black onto a pile of papers- the results that signaled your doom. “ I told the damned bastards to–”
“ – But I thought you couldn’t get pregnant at least until 18 months have passed after birth” you interrupted her, your voice a fraction away from hysterical. You looked at Yosano expectedly, begging her for the confirmation that this was some weird biological fluke. A mistake that no one of you could have predicted.
You jumped as she slammed her fist against the wooden desk.
“ Where the hell did you hear that bullshit from?” Yosano took a deep breath, slipped back into her composed doctor mask and did you the courtesy to reply to your questions calmly and professionally “It’s not recommended to get pregnant earlier than 18 months after delivery, to give the body time to heal. However, biologically speaking, there’s nothing preventing you from it once you’ve gotten your period. Some can get pregnant as early as four weeks after.”
You bit your lips to hold back a curse, and hung your head at your own stupidity. “ But one time..” you mumbled absentmindedly as memories of an unromantic quickie on the same night the pair returned home from their months long mission ran through your mind. A disappointing act that drove a rift in your relationship. That became a silent fight you never openly addressed; just picked up your things and moved into the shoe-sized spare bedroom. Something which neither part of double black seemed to mind.
If anything you swore your absence in the bedroom brought them relief.
To your surprise, Yosano rested a comforting hand on your shoulder. “ Sometimes one time is plenty. Now then to break the news-” She moved away from you and began stomping towards the door which separated her office from the rest of the medical bay. And ultimately, the space where your so-called lovers waited with the twins.
“ No wait!” you cried. In an instant up on your feet, both hands wrapped around Yosano’s arm. Although she was undoubtedly stronger, the action was shocking enough to halt her movements. She turned to face you, surprise edged into her features. But you couldn’t meet her eyes. No, you did not want her to see that the seemingly perfect relationship had been reduced to shambles. A broken thing which had become filled with responsibilities and fear. The thought made your cheeks redden in shame; never ever in your life would you have thought you’d be fearful of your lover's reaction to seemingly joyful news. And even more shamefully, feel the need to make excuses for it in public.
“ Tell me honestly Y/N” Yosano’s voice was low, the accusation unmistakable.
“ It’s Dazai’s” You answered in a heartbeat, met her gaze full on with the most earnestness you had ever displayed in your life. “ Undoubtedly his.”
You dropped your hand from her arm and brought it back to your side, wrapped it protectively around your stomach. You forced your lips up into a smile, hoped it looked innocent yet nervous. Then mellowed out the look in your eyes to the point the blush looked more shy than guilty. “ W-well, you know, Dazai’s been wanting a child of his own since the twins and I.. just want to break the news to him in a special way.” The lie rolled smoothly off your tongue and Yosano seemed to buy it.
She laughed at you, teased you for the still corny behavior while lightly reminded you this wasn’t your first kid as she sat back down and began going over essential medical information with you. Information you took in with a smile, nodded in appropriate places without really listening. But who could have blamed you?
Your mind was for once on your side as it formed second by second a feasible plan for you. Not easy, but manageable. Drunk on thought that you, YOU, the innocent little weak dove had gotten away with such a blatant lie gave you the courage you needed to indulge in those thoughts. The thoughts you hadn’t even dared to think of before. Now they felt so close and so real.
Although, admittedly, the lie you uttered wasn’t a complete lie. Indeed, you intended to make sure he would find out this news in the most unforgettable way possible.
You just never said the surprise was going to be good…
Author note: The first part of this chapter is dedicated to each and every person who thought A Hit Beyond Rock Bottom was not heavy /angsty enough and Dazai’s actions weren’t too bad.
The second part is for us who can see that the reader is strong and it's time to see that strengths manifest itself into something useful. Well hope you enjoyed this and until next time~
Click here for: Part 1 , part 2 and part 3 or Check out Raven's masterlist.
©ravencincaide 2024. Do not copy/repost/translate or spread my work(s) without my explicit permission. If you see any of my work(s) reposted/copied anywhere else without my consent, please inform me!
#desperate times call for desperate measures#bsd chuuya#chuuya x reader#chuuya nakahara#chuuya nakahara x reader#bsd dazai#dazai x reader#chuuya x you#dazai x you#skk x reader#new parents#angst#bsd angst#skk parents#raven cincade's works#raven cincaide
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My Dearest
Pairing: Duke!Bucky Barnes x Lady!Reader (Regency Era AU — Bridgerton Inspired )
Summary: On the night of Lady Maximoff’s ball you find yourself in the gardens, troubled by your emotions. As if by fate, the rain pours down reuniting you with the one who is the very object of your troubles.
Word Count: 3k
Warning(s): heartbreak / angst / longing / implications of cheating / rejection / creative liberties for this era (yes I did do research, but bear with me if there are any inaccuracies in this piece of fiction 🤍) / PDA -> stays at a TV-14 level / a surprise cameo / female reader
a/n: This little piece has been in the works since I got into the Bridgerton series. Binge-watching the spinoff Queen Charlotte this weekend gave me the motivation to finish this piece. Thank you for reading! 🤍 Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!! ❤️
for ambiance 🌧️
Your fingertips poked at the surface of the water in the fountain. Unstemmed red carnations danced along the water to the rhythm of the ripples. The faint music of the ballroom was ever so slightly drowned out by the stream pouring from the fountain at the center of the garden. You were sitting on the edge of it, hoping to ease your nerves with some fresh air. You wished you had brought a coin with you to throw in the fountain and wish your worries away.
Wishes, however, were for children and the fairytales they believed in. You were no longer a child nor were you in a fairytale—much to your dismay. Your father made sure you knew of this, reminding you of your duties at every possibility. As the only child of the one and only Earl L/n, you were expected to marry into a higher status. Your mother, on the other hand, wished for you to marry for love and nothing more.
You thought you had found both—you almost had both.
Unfortunately, the one you truly desired broke your heart before he even fully had it. You pushed the thought of him away, for he was the very reason your emotions were an entangled mess.
You looked down at your ball gown, its baby blue color muted by the lack of lighting in the approach of nightfall. You tugged at the ends of it lightly, wanting nothing more than to be at home wearing your nightgown instead. One of your favorite romance novels in hand, basking in the warmth of the fireplace. You always dreamed of having your own happily ever after, and for a while, you thought you had. A love story any poet would be over the moon to muse over.
You were sadly mistaken.
A few droplets of rain plopped themselves onto your arm. You scanned the sky above you, the once royal blue evening turning a smoky grey. A clear sign it would soon start to rain. It was only a slight drizzle, making you realize a few of those fallen droplets weren’t from the clouds above, but from your very own eyes.
You couldn’t let the prince see you like this.
You rose from your spot and searched the garden for a place to compose yourself. In the near distance stood a greenhouse decorated with overgrown ivy, obstructing the view of the inside. A perfect place to hide away from your troubles and the rain.
You lifted the ends of your ball gown, making sure to not muddy or tear any part of it, as you made your way to the greenhouse. You stepped inside, immediately enamored with the various flora surrounding you. You knew Lady Maximoff treasured her garden, but never in your wildest dreams could you have conjured up the breathtaking view before you.
You strolled along the path, taking it all in. The rain started to come down in a pour, ridding any outside noise from coming through. Thus making it harder to hear the footsteps that were approaching you.
“ Y/n? My dearest, what are you doing here?” You froze in your spot, recognizing the voice of the one who broke your heart. You turned to see James Buchanan Barnes the Duke of Brooklyn standing a few feet away from you, drenched from head to toe. It seems he too was caught in the rain.
“ Your grace, my apologies. I did not know you were here. Please excuse me,” you attempted to remove yourself from the situation, but he wouldn’t let you. Stopping you by your hands, holding them delicately.
A frown overtook his features,“ Why do you address me so formally? Have we not grown past this?”
You swallowed hard, not wanting to dwell on this topic of conversation for long,“ We did, but like anything that grows, there comes a time when it withers. We have withered.”
You yanked yourself from his grasp, his mouth parting in disbelief, “ Y/n, what are you saying? Is this because of the prince? Have you indeed traded your love for me for the status he can bring you?” He threw the accusation in your face with such disdain you felt as though he had struck you.
A rage bubbled within you.
“ How dare you? Do you truly think so little of me? I would have given up the world for you. You, however, would never have done the same,” you turned to walk away again and he swiftly maneuvered his way in front of you, blocking your path. You felt tears prickle at your eyes, but you forced yourself not to cry in front of him.
“ I apologize. I did not mean to insult you. It is only that you have been so cold toward me lately, and I do not understand why. At tonight’s ball, all I wanted was to have you in my arms once more and instead, I had to stand there like a fool watching you dance with the prince. I left for the gardens when the incessant rumors of a marriage between you two were all anyone could talk about,” his eyes searched yours for an answer, resentfulness lacing his every word.
You looked down, not being able to meet his eyes, “ I do not have to justify myself to you. And those rumors. . .are not rumors. I believe the prince should propose any day now.” By the end of your sentence, you feigned what little confidence you had left and fixed your posture, ready to face James with a steady gaze. However, as soon as you met his eyes you found yourself taking a step back.
James looked at you like he had taken a bullet to the heart.
“ And what of us? My dearest, I do not understand what I have done wrong. Tell me, so that I may fix it. I cannot bear to lose you,” his hand reached for yours to pull you in closer. You side stepped his advances, his hand recoiling at your relentless rejection.
You took in a deep breath, a sigh escaping your lips,“ You already have. The moment you decided to entertain other women while claiming your heart was mine. I am the fool for believing your grace was honest about courting me.” Irritation crept its way back into your heart at the memory.
This caught his attention as he stared at you with a puzzled expression,“ Is that what this is about? Y/n, you must know that was merely for diplomacies—for business. ”
You bit the inside of your lip to refrain from insulting the man in front of you. “ Then that is what I was then, merely a means to a business transaction between you and my father. Did you think I would not find out? My father would have never invested in that mine of yours if it were not for him believing we were courting. It was no coincidence that as soon as the papers were signed you were seen with Lady Natasha alone in your home,” you paused for a moment, realizing you had raised your voice at James, causing you to take a deep breath before continuing, “ You should be grateful my father is not holding you to any responsibilities since he is now focused on assuring I become royalty.”
James’ fists were clenched at his sides,“ How could you doubt my honor? How could you ever doubt that my heart is anyone's but yours? My business with Lady Natasha is nothing but a misunderstanding. I swear on my honor.”
You scoffed, “ Your honor means nothing to me. Your reputation of being the most prolific Rake in town precedes you. I should have believed everyone when they warned me.” His lips formed a tight line, an impatience overtaking him, “ You should know by now my darling, I do not care what others whisper in the shadows. You are all I care about, and if that is what you truly think of me then—you wound me.”
You shook your head, ready to retaliate once more with your words when he swiftly made his way to you and held you by your shoulders. “ I love you. I am certain what fuels this frustration and hatred toward me is the love you feel for me,” his voice was gentle, his features softening. His eyes held you in your place, as your body longed to be closer to him. A mere touch and a part of you was already screaming at you to forgive him.
The two of you stood there for a moment, staring at each other’s eyes not saying a word. You had no strength to pull away from his grasp, “ Your heart will move on. It will find love in another,” your response was reduced to a whisper by the end. You weren’t sure if you were trying to comfort him or yourself with your words.
He shook his head, “ My dearest, the heart here has no say. I cannot say I love you with all my heart for it will one day stop beating. I love you with my entire soul, for my love for you will live on with it for all eternity. I am forever bound to you.” James’ declaration tugged at your heartstrings.
“James. . .” his name dropped from your lips in a pleading whisper. Whether that was for him to stop or keep going—you weren’t sure anymore. You were left speechless. Any protests or rebuttals that were initially in your mind were gone with one declaration. He pulled you in closer—if that were possible—and embraced you, planting a passionate kiss on your lips. You returned it with as much intensity.
You melted into each other, the reciprocated love burning into you. This one kiss ignited within you all of the feelings you were trying so desperately to extinguish. James tasted of wine and smelled of sandalwood, a combination you found strangely addicting.
One of James’ hands slipped down your back, your own gravitating to the nape of his neck. He pressed his body against yours, a small gasp escaped your lips allowing him to deepen the kiss. The continuous kisses he bestowed upon you grew needier by the minute. If his words weren’t getting through to you, he wanted to make sure his lips did.
His mouth moved down to your neck, continuing to show his devotion to you. Your body betrayed you as it leaned to the side giving him easier access. You held in a breath at the sensation. It was evident no one could make you feel the way James does.
This was the opposite of what you had been striving for these last few weeks. Your father made it clear to you how important it was for the family for you to rise to the status of a princess. The prince had been kind and charming, but he was no match for James. You knew there was no argument to be had with your father since now that a prince was interested in you, there was no way in hell he was going to accept a Duke as his son in law. You didn't care and figured that in time he would forgive you once he realized how in love James and you were. You hoped he would see what your mother saw and accept this path to your happiness.
That was before the incident.
A month ago you took a carriage ride to James’ home accompanied by your Lady’s maid Kate. The purpose of this escapade was to confide in James over your father’s intentions. Unbeknownst to you, his true intentions would be brought to light instead.
Your carriage was merely a block away when you spotted them. They were laughing as James’ footmen escorted both him and Lady Natasha inside. There was no one else in sight and no one else entering the home with them. This meant they were in there alone and unchaperoned. Only impatient lovers would resort to such means knowing a scandal could break out if they were caught.
You clutched at your chest, overwhelmed with the way it ached. You felt as though James had come up to you and ripped it out of your chest, exposing it to everyone to gawk and laugh at. To laugh at how stupid Lady Y/n had become in thinking the biggest Rake in town had truly, madly, and deeply fallen in love with her.
Kate took you in her arms and ordered the coachmen to take the long way back home. You sat there, crying into her shoulder throughout the entire journey. You vowed that day to never fall for James’ charms ever again.
The memories of that day hit you full force and knocked the air out of you. Your body caught up to your brain and with as much strength as you could muster you pushed James off of you. He looked shaken by your reaction, staggering back almost tripping over a cluster of purple hyacinths.
With your anger at his betrayal still fueling you, you lifted your chin in the air and spoke your final words to him,“ You cannot water what has already withered and believe it will come back to life.”
You didn’t bother to look at him this time, knowing too well the expression on his face was one that would make your resolve crumble in an instant. You quickly turned and ran out of the greenhouse and back into the garden. The rain was still coming down in a pour, soaking you from head to toe. Tears were streaming down your face and the ends of your ball gown were now covered in mud. In spite of that, you continued to run to the furthest part of the garden closest to the carriages and farthest from Lady Maximoff’s manor.
You were yearning to be home—to be in your mother’s arms and bask in her comfort. To have Kate prepare you the warmest cup of tea and sugary scones to indulge in. Anything to remove the taste of wine and the smell of sandalwood that was now deeply imbedded into your senses. This in hopes to forget the events of tonight ever happened.
“ Miss Y/n, you are soaked to the brim, we must get you home. I shall fetch the Marchioness at once,” your coachman draped a blanket from the servant’s quarters over your shoulders and helped you into your carriage. You hugged it tightly against you as the coachman walked away to get your aunt, the Marchioness of Syracuse. You had completteley forgotten she was the one who accompanied you tonight. How were you going to explain your current state to her?
“ Miss Y/n?”
That voice—you know that voice. It belonged to the person you least wanted to see at this moment. A lady should never let a prince see her like this.
“ Your Highness, I beg of you not to look in the carriage. I was caught in the rain and I am not proper,” the door of the carriage was wide open, the prince’s emerald green attire coming into view. You angled your body so that he could only see the bottom half of your ball gown, hiding your face from him.
“ Your wish is my command, my lady,” he stood by the entry of the carriage facing froward, his side profile visible to you. Your shoulders relaxed, relieved he didn’t have to see you at your worst. His personal attendant was beside him, holding an umbrella above him to ensure his royal highness was not touched by the rain.
“ I must thank you for bestowing upon me the pleasure of dancing with you tonight. I regret we did not get to spend more time together. You looked absolutely breathtaking in your dress,” he complimented you, bringing a smile to your face. “ You flatter me, your Highness—thank you. I will make sure to not get caught in the rain next time, so that our dances may continue.” You made light of your situation, bringing out a soft chuckle from him.
“ No matter if there is rain. I would gladly charge right into the storm of it if it meant I could have you by my side,” he stated, a warmth overtaking your cheeks. Any flirtations coming from another man other than James were foreign to you and flustered you easily. James’ flirtations were inviting and expected, while others were far from it. They felt wrong to hear and to accept. In doing so, it was as if you were being disloyal to James.
You would have to keep reminding yourself there is nothing more to be disloyal to.
“ You’re too kind, your Highness. I am not sure it is worth catching an illness over this weather for a dance,” you responded, trying to keep your voice gentle and light. You didn’t want any negative emotions to take charge just yet. They could do so once you were in the privacy of your bedchambers.
“ For me it is. You are worth it, Miss Y/n,” the prince had never confessed his love to you, but with this sentence, it was clear his feelings toward you were much stronger than you had previously believed. Many proposals were given on attraction alone—to have a proposal based on love was the rarest of blessings.
You stilled in your seat, his words making your heart skip a beat. From the bottom of your heart it was clear to you, you were not in love with this man. Nonetheless, you thought, maybe in the future you would. Maybe if you tried hard enough your heart could move on even if your soul refused to.
“ Oh! Prince Loki, your highness, what a pleasure to see you here with my niece. . .” your aunt arrived just in time, saving you from having to respond. Your mind wandered off, your aunt’s voice and the prince’s getting lost in the background as they spoke to one another.
You draped the blanket over your head to cover the stream of tears that refused to stop flowing. If you pretended to be asleep than you could avoid all of your aunt’s pestering questions on where you had snuck off to while the prince was waiting for you.
No, you did not love Prince Loki.
Yes, you were in love with James Barnes the Duke of Brooklyn.
However, for the sake of a love lost along with fulfilling your duty, you would have to learn how to love another.
Rake: A rake is a 19th-century term for a womanizer or a man who flaunts their exploits with women and avoids any real romantic attachments.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky angst#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fanfiction#duke bucky#duke bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes fic#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes x female!reader#bucky oneshot#james bucky barnes
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NGL, you mentioning Leon Kennedy is now making me think he's clingy af to everyone who loves him, 'cause I've been getting the urge to replay RE2R/RE4 recently just because of him.
To, uh, gaze at him respectfully. Very respectfully. 👀👀👀
Bro yesssssssssssss
I swear that bby boi is so affection-starved after everything that happened to him that the moment he finds real love, there's no way he's holding back <3
And with that, here's what I came up for Leon so far because he decided to invade my dreams-- HAHAHAHA
TAGS: Older!Leon (late 30s-early 40s)/F!reader(early-mid 20s), age gap, pervy thoughts, affection-starved!Leon, headcanons
Older!Leon who'd all but given up any semblance of a normal relationship after everything he's gone through. He lazes about in the coach of the cheap apartment he sentenced himself into living in (despite the swanky and secure government housing freely provided as one of the top agents) with a cold beer while some random series was playing on low volume on the TV
Older!Leon who hears knocking on his door and begrudgingly answers it only to be met with the prettiestcutestmostgorgeousmouthwatering person he'd ever seen in his life
Older!Leon gets a full whiff of your strawberries & cream scent even before you opened your mouth and has him thinking of everything that is innocent, good, and worth protecting in this world. He then realizes that you'd already introduced yourself and that he'd been staring at you like a creep this whole time
“Kennedy…Uhhh…Leon S. Kennedy,” he half mumbles and states as he tries not to look too deeply into your eyes lest he finds himself lost in their depths. He doesn’t need to look more of a creep than you might have already thought he was
And when you don’t immediately run for the hills, he internally sighs in relief. It’s a foreign feeling to him, because after all the horrors he’d witnessed and experienced, the last thing he ever worried about was how other people perceived him
That he was actually worried about what you thought about him despite having only met is both alarming and yet somehow…comforting? It tells him that despite how broken he thinks he is, he’s not so broken as to no longer care at all about anything
…It also helps that you’re such a cutie that it’s impossible for him not to care about you. Especially when you keep bringing him your homemade food all the time
The animal part of his brain rumbles with pleasure at how you were already being such a good mate by making sure he’s well-fed when he’d yet to properly bond you to him. It reinforces the idea that some part of you unconsciously knew that he was the one for you
“It’s the first time I’ve lived on my own, and I guess I’m just not used to making only food for one. I don’t like letting food go to waste either, so I thought maybe one of the neighbors might appreciate it. Safe to say that I never get to any of the other neighbors since you’re always gratefully accepting my cooking, Mr. Kennedy”
Had he been a lesser man, your playful teasing would have resulted in you pinned to the floor as he loomed over you, covering your naughty little mouth with his. He could already imagine the tiny squeak you’d let out in surprise or the delicious whimpers he’d coax from your plush lips that he’d only swallow up
“I think we’re more than acquainted enough to get past our surnames, don’t you think? Just Leon is fine with me, doll.”
The first time he hears his given name spoken from your lips, his traitorous brain conjures up an image of you with your eyes practically rolling to the back of your head as he fucks your pretty pussy open with his cock
Was he getting too attached because you were the first person outside of the dangerous world he lived in who showed genuine care without expecting anything in return?
…Perhaps
But did he really care?
Honestly, no
If anything, it’s only a matter of time until he no longer had to imagine waking up next to you in the morning or getting back home from a mission or the office and having you wrapped in a pretty little apron without anything underneath waiting patiently for him
#lexsssu writes#resident evil#leon kennedy x reader#leon s. kennedy#leon s. kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy x y/n#resident evil x reader#resident evil headcanons
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Impending, part 3
Matsukawa Issei x afab reader
Word count: ~3.4k
Tags & warnings: SMUT-MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT. Fingering, oral sex (f receiving), p in v. There is cum. Pubes exist in this world. A little angst, pining, guilt, and desperation (my four favorite flavors).
Note: Finally finished this mini-series. The word counts have grown too much each time, but what can I say? — I want him emotionally, spiritually, biblically.
part 1 | part 2
You can’t stay in bed forever.
Probably.
Not unless you can convince Hiro to bring you something for dinner, but that’s never going to happen.
A particularly angry gurgle from your stomach makes you roll out of bed and pick your way to the kitchen. The tackiness of your skin is proof you made the right choice to sleep the day away. Summers are always stifling, and the humidity lingers even after the sun has set, preventing the air from dropping to comfortable temperatures.
A cool gust from the fridge provides a welcome relief, though it’s unfortunate the shelves are empty. That’s the worst part of being at home — the isolation. The trees and hills are beautiful, even the warbling of the birds at 4am is nice, but grocery stores and restaurants are few and far between. You could walk to the ancient ramen place a few streets down, or the sukiyaki place a few streets up, but neither sound at all appealing in this heat.
“Did mom and dad leave us anything for dinner?” You shout toward the open basement door.
No answer.
“I know you can hear me.”
You can’t see the middle finger Makki holds up. “I’m getting pizza later.”
“Can we order now? I’m starving,” you pad downstairs with a whine.
Sprawled on the couch, Hiro is sporadically illuminated by some anime show on tv. While you don’t recognize it, you can at least pick out the white-haired guy Hiro likes landing a couple of (over)dramatic punches on a black-haired guy.
“How are you even hungry? You’ve just been sleeping all day.”
Your brother doesn’t take his eyes off the tv where the black-haired one finally managed to dodge, and now the white-haired one is strategizing (at length) about his next move.
“You’re one to talk! As if you’ve mov-”
“I’m hungry too,” a deep baritone chimes in seemingly from below you.
You leap back with a yelp, squinting into the darkness at your feet. Out of the shadows, Issei’s form slowly takes shape. Honestly, you’re shocked you didn’t step on him.
“That’s not what you said 5 minutes ago,” Makki grumbles, but picks up his phone to place the order.
Issei shrugs, reaching his arm out toward you.
You dodge beyond his fingertips and beat a hasty retreat back up the stairs, calling out over your shoulder, “order me a Hawaiian pizza.”
“No way in hell. That’s disgusting.”
Fake retching sounds follow you to the top.
The cold spray of the shower is calming, necessary even, to wash the stickiness from your skin and quiet your frazzled nerves.
That happened almost a week ago, and seeing him in your house every day has only made things more fraught. While you haven’t exactly been avoiding Issei, you haven’t tried to talk to him either. For your brother’s sake you should probably make clear that it was a mistake; one that will never happen again. You could blame it on the beer or the weed, but the truth is, Issei plagues your thoughts even while sober — his breath hot on your neck, fingertips digging into the fat of your hips, the utter fullness when he pushed into you.
Before that night, the image of him as a gawky preteen was all your mind could conjure up. But now… Your fingers aren’t enough to relieve the pressure anymore.
Your encounter unleashed some latent magnetic field, prickling your senses and hopelessly drawing you toward him at every turn. You welcome his attention more than you care to admit, so, unsurprisingly, it’s been hard not to make it weird, and harder not to second-guess every single interaction these days. Since when did he know your favorite snacks? Did he used to stare at you so much? Had he always been this touchy?
Or is he just hoping for a repeat of the other night?
The possibility stirs up both anxiety and relief. Except for the teeny, tiny detail of being your little brother’s best friend — you know, the one person outside of family that Hiro places 100% of his trust in — Issei would top your list of fuck buddies (and if you’re honest, maybe even more than that).
What’s been most confusing is that Issei doesn’t seem bothered, and you’re not sure why that irritates you so much. He’s never seemed like the kind of guy who would treat you like a notch in his bedpost, but then again, best friend’s sibling is a perennially popular porn trope for a reason. Surely he’s not immune.
None of that really matters though. Hiro’s been acting strange lately, like he knows something’s up. Half the time, he books it out of a room as soon as you walk in. God knows how he’d react if he found out what happened. Issei said he wouldn’t care, but how true is that? You try to imagine how you’d feel if one of your friends told you they’d slept with Hiro, and you can’t help but be…one, grossed out because you really don’t want to think about it. And two, well…protective, angry maybe. He might be an ass, but he’s still your brother, and you’d never do anything to actually hurt him.
A knock breaks into your anxious musings.
It’s then you notice you’re standing vacantly in the middle of your room. Somehow, you’d finished showering and walked back while lost in thought.
“Go away!”
Hiro is the last person you want to talk to right now; especially not before you can get your thoughts under control.
Footsteps shuffle away, but instead of the telltale creak of the stairs, they pause, then turn back toward the door.
The door jiggles and clicks open.
“What part of-”
Except it’s not Hiro. It’s Issei.
His audacity dumbfounds you, but only for a second.
“The hell?! Get out!”
Hesitation flickers across his face but he takes a step forward.
“Can we talk?”
“NO.” You wrap the towel tighter around yourself.
When he doesn’t move, you reiterate the point by whirling on your heels and stomping toward the dresser. The underwear drawer suddenly captures your full attention, and you rummage through it with single-minded focus.
The door shuts behind you with another click, and you let out a shaky breath.
The relief is short-lived.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” Goosebumps break out all over your skin at his words.
“That’s not true.”
The lavender scent of your shampoo tickles his nose. With you faced resolutely away, he steps closer and allows his eyes to sweep over the droplets gleaming across your shoulders.
“No?”
His lips brush against the base of your neck, and whatever retort you had fizzles on your tongue.
“Issei,” you whimper, “you said you wanted to talk.”
You lean back into his touch and feel him grin against the juncture of your neck. His hands, big and warm and firm, slide up under the towel to knead at your soft thighs, rapidly emptying your brain.
He gives you a gentle nudge toward the bed.
“I don’t think we should do this,” you protest, but your lack of conviction is apparent in how eagerly you obey, practically tripping over yourself to perch on the edge of the mattress.
He raises one thick eyebrow. “Why?”
“Hiro’s going to find out.”
Issei unbuttons his shirt with unhurried movements, unveiling the smooth musculature of his chest. Its slopes and dips are made more dramatic thanks to the yellow-orange light of the single desk lamp. You swallow thickly, eyes drawn to the sharp cut of his collarbones and the faded scar on his right hip.
“Makki knows. He doesn’t care.”
His shorts and underwear quickly land in a pile on the floor.
Even in the harsh light, his dick is nothing short of mouth-watering. A pretty flush tip sits enticingly over its thick, veiny length. Coarse hairs curl tightly at the base, trimmed short to reveal more of him.
He kneels and shuffles forward to tug the towel from your clutch, uttering an appreciative groan before he tosses it aside.
“Fuck, just look at you.”
Your objections devolve into gasping moans when he pushes you back to lay open-mouthed kisses across your collarbones and down your chest, sluggishly mouthing over your hips, down the tops of your legs and back up, licking a stripe along the tender skin of your inner thigh as he splays your legs up and out. He dives in to suck on your clit and you almost choke.
Your entire body tenses with pleasure when he starts to lap at you. But it’s the way he meets your gaze with hooded eyes — intoxicated from a single taste — that kickstarts the last ounce of resistance left in your body.
“Issei, if you- fuck that’s ahhh- you’re just looking to get your dick wet…”
That stills his tongue. Even though you’re the one protesting, you can’t help but whine now that he’s actually stopped.
“That’s not…” He frowns, a mixture of your juices and his saliva glistening on his chin. In one fluid motion, Issei slides you off the bed and onto his lap. A shudder runs through him when his erection glides against your folds, though it doesn’t distract him.
“Is that what you think this is?”
You’re not sure what answer he’s looking for, so you stay silent, head turned to avoid his eyes.
He scrutinizes you for what seems like an age. How could you not know? All the times he’s tried to impress you? All the things he’s done in the hopes you’ll notice him? All the years he’s trailed behind you — to your house, to university, and even to Sendai?
“Do you remember when your parents made you start watching us after school?”
Your face scrunches in confusion at the change in topic, but he’s insistent.
“Do you remember? Right after you started high school?”
“Ok…yeah,” you indulge, “I remember. I’d just joined photography club and had to quit like a month later. I was pissed — they’d never cared about leaving us home alone before so I didn’t understand why I had to babysit you guys.”
“They didn’t actually care. I made up some lie — I don’t even remember what it was now — to convince my parents we needed a sitter. I figured they’d make you do it, and they did.”
You look up in confusion. Is he…blushing?
“And in eighth grade, when I needed help with math… I actually bombed my tests on purpose for a month because I knew my parents would ask you.”
Wait… “Was that what your fights were about?”
Hiro and Issei were thick as thieves, the only exceptions being in your first and last years of high school. Their fights got heated too, though neither ever told you what set them off, no matter how many times you tried to pry it out of them. The second time, Issei didn’t come over for almost a month afterward (you remember because you had to go to his house to tutor him) but things always eventually went back to normal.
Issei huffs a soft chuckle. “Yeah, Makki figured it out.”
“Figured what out?”
“It’s not obvious?” Issei drops his head onto your shoulder with something between a groan and a laugh. “I liked you. A lot. I still do.”
He admits it so casually, like he’s commenting on the weather. Like he and Hiro haven’t kept this secret for over a decade. Like it’s hardly a confession at all.
For once, you’re the one struggling to keep up.
“Wait…you like me?”
You feel a muffled snort. “That’s literally what I’ve been saying this whole time.”
“And Hiro’s…not mad? But he’s been acting so weird lately,” you point out.
“Oh that. He keeps trying to ‘give us space’ or something. I told him to cool it.”
“Oh.” Huh. Maybe it was obvious. You were just too worried about Hiro to notice that every time he flew out of a room with some flimsy excuse, you were left alone with Issei. Issei, who you like more than you expected. Who’s had a crush on you for more than a decade. Whose lap you’re currently nestled in, naked.
“Does that mean we can…” You shift, jerking when your clit catches his spongy tip.
He laughs, grinding his hips up to meet you.
“We sure can.”
You’re still wet, really wet, you’re reminded when your pussy glides against him, and getting more aroused by the second as Issei stares, mesmerized by the slick trail you leave along the length of his cock.
His hands slide down to give your ass an excited squeeze before lifting you up onto the edge of the bed.
Dextrous fingers part your puffy lips as he rests his cheek against your thigh, giving him the perfect view of your dripping cunt. He thumbs lightly at your clit and heaves a sigh of contentment when your hips buck in response.
“Didn’t get to enjoy this last time.”
You bite back a moan when he slides one long finger into you. It reaches deep, and you squirm in encouragement when he sinks a second one in. He works them nimbly, curling and scissoring them while rolling your clit, breaking you down into a whiny mess in seconds, until you’re dripping down his wrists and onto the sheets.
You’re so distracted by his fingers that you don’t notice him dive in, just feel his lips wrap around your clit with a slurp. He licks and sucks at you eagerly, and you can only gasp and writhe, trying to steady yourself with a fist in his soft wavy hair. The walls echo with your cries mingled with Issei’s enthusiastic groans and the wet suction of your cunt around his fingers.
It catches you by surprise when you cum, cresting fast and hard, pulling your body taut and whiting out your vision. Before you realize it, you’re already quaking with aftershocks, trying to twist away from the overwhelming sensation of him licking and suckling dreamily as you come down.
When he finally pulls his fingers out, he makes a show of sucking them clean, stroking himself as he smirks up at you.
He pushes himself up off the floor and god, fuck. He’s irresistible, his cock bobbing heavily between his legs as he gets on his hands and knees above you.
Issei leans down, humming happily when he wraps his mouth around your right nipple. He massages your chest with one hand and grips his cock with the other to smear his tip along your sopping pussy.
It feels good, but you squirm and push at his shoulders. “Want you in my mouth,” you beg.
He placates you with a hungry kiss. “Next time, ok? Next time. I can barely- I don’t think I can last long,” he admits wryly, “but next time we’ll do anything you want.”
Your eyelids flutter shut in anticipation when he lines himself up.
He pushes in slowly, first the fat mushroom tip, then the whole thick length of him, rocking himself in, out, in, inch by inch until he’s pressed flush against you. Issei groans when your face contorts with pleasure. The stretch is incredible. He stuffs you so full, finally hitting that place you’ve been unable to reach.
He takes things slow. Too slow. He wasn’t able to savor you before, but he’s not about to make the same mistake again. His long, languid strokes are just enough to have you grinding against him in frustration with every thrust.
“Let me enjoy this for a minute,” he rasps.
His hands trail restlessly across your body, caressing and squeezing every inch of skin he can reach. He kisses his way down your neck to roll his tongue around your nipple, biting and sucking one before moving to the other, and back again.
After what feels like hours, your patience finally gives out.
You smack him hard on the ass. “Issei! Fuck me already.”
That jolts his hips into action. The length of his body is laid on top of you, pinning your legs up against your shoulders as he pistons into you with surprising force. Wet slaps alternate with the loud squeak of the mattress.
You begin to quiver, your whole body shaking as the heat builds in your core. He reaches deep, so so deep, making you wail every time he bumps your clit and his cock hits that perfect spot inside of you over and over again.
“Ohhh- fuck, Issei please I’m-”
He barely has time to blink before you’re falling apart at the seams again. Wave after blinding wave of ecstasy crash over you, relentless.
Your pussy clenches hard, gripping his cock so firmly he can barely move. Not a second later, he pulls out with a shout. Through hazy eyes, you see his mouth drop open. He fists his cock only once before his body stiffens, convulsing as jets of hot cum shoot out to land on your cheeks, shoulders, chest, stomach, dribbling out to coat your pubes, before finally leaving him twitching.
The room fills with hoarse pants.
You laugh weakly at the mess. “Wow, you came a lot.”
“I think I almost blacked out,” he croaks.
With great effort, he pushes himself off the bed and returns with the box of tissues from your desk. He cleans you up with care, just like last time.
“I wanted to last longer,” he mumbles, pressing a sheepish kiss to your sternum before collapsing on you, pinning you down with his weight.
It does something funny to your heart to witness him like this, so different from his usual confidence.
“Next time,” you assure him.
“Next time?” He looks up, almost reverent.
“Yeah.” You smile and brush the damp curls away from his eyes.
Next time. He breaks out in an obnoxious grin. There’s going to be a next time. And if there’s a next time, there might be a time after that.
“You won’t even need to introduce me to your parents.”
You snort. “Ok, pump the brakes.”
When you finally make your way back to the kitchen (with Issei practically holding you up as you wobbled), you find one Hawaiian pizza and two-thirds of a pepperoni pizza sitting on the counter.
Issei loads up a plate for you both before heading down to the basement. You grab some cold beers and follow suit, pausing in the doorway to take a few calming breaths.
You don’t hear any yelling or scuffling — a positive sign. Hopefully, that means Hiro isn’t too angry.
You take one wary step, then another.
When you reach the bottom, your eyes hesitantly find Hiro’s. There’s an uneasy moment when he frowns at you from where he’s seated on the floor before he gives you a curt nod. It’s stiff, but definitely not angry, not even upset.
Your shoulders untense.
Issei waves you over to the couch where he settles you securely in his lap, his arms encircling your waist. You cast another wary glance at Hiro who just rolls his eyes.
“Glad you’re finally done ‘getting some water,’” Makki snipes. “I’ve been waiting forever to start the next episode.”
“I’m definitely not thirsty anymore if you know what I mean.” Mattsun wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
Hiro’s face twists, revolted. “Ugh- I- ugh god, I don’t want to think about-” he sputters. His eyes flick to where Issei’s hands grope at your thighs and ass. “Whoa, ok rule number one: not when I’m right here. And rule number two-” there’s an uncomfortable pause before he mutters, “keep it down next time.”
Mattsun’s not at all chagrined. In fact, he puffs out his chest proudly.
You, on the other hand, shrink in absolutely mortification. Right when Issei opens his mouth to make another (probably vulgar) retort, you shove a slice of pizza in…with a little more force than you intended.
He chokes in surprise and your brother lets out a mean snicker. “Perfect timing! Serves you right.”
You expect him to continue bickering with Hiro, but Issei instead flashes you a dopey grin. “Thank you baby,” he says sweetly, muffled though it is by a mouthful of food.
The gleeful smirk drops right off Makki’s face and he whirls back toward the tv with a loud gag.
“You’re welcome,” you giggle. Your brain’s still playing catch-up with everything that’s happened today, but you think you like where this is heading.
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu smut#matsukawa issei#matsukawa x reader#matsukawa smut#hq x reader#froggy scribbles
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love lies | jeon jungkook [2]
summary: an arrogant womanizer who’s spent his life numb to love. an unlovable romantic who’s been hurt one too many times. he’s your friend’s ex boyfriend and soon everyone will find out about your lies.
warnings: 14.9k. angst. smut. yandere jungkook. college student au. rich kid jungkook. f!reader. unhealthy attachment. manipulation. gaslighting. slutshaming. toxic friendships. implied emotional trauma from both ends. daddy issues/mommy issues. jungkook dated your friend. stalking. strange behavior in relationship. oral [both receiving] and probs a lot more warnings. series.
song inspo: tv — billie eilish
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Something dark was dancing its way into him. He’s never considered himself a good guy but now he feels that’s even further than the truth. He wants to be a good guy for you and he’d do anything to achieve that but you can’t forget his true character. You’re making him work for it after he thought it’d be smooth sailing. After sleeping with you, he didn’t want to leave your bed. He was ready to ditch classes the next day and keep you all to himself. The only reason he rushed out the next morning is because you missed your alarm and needed to get to class. He drove you to your campus and begged to see you yesterday but you had work and refused to call in for him. Today you had plans with your stupid ass friends.
Now he’s stuck at some strip club with friends while his eyes stayed glued to his phone. He was waiting for a text from you telling him when he could come over but he knows it’ll be some time before that happens. For now he’s stuck here with these guys.
“You know, Kook, you’re starting to worry me,” Jimin said as he leaned over the table to wave a hand in front of Jungkook’s face, “Who’s got you so focused on your phone tonight that you can’t pay attention to the dancers?” Jimin was sandwiched between two exotic dancers in lingerie who wrinkled his Givenchy suit. He motioned for the one closest to Jungkook to pay him attention but Jungkook didn’t even react. Instead, he zoomed in on your location on Find My IPhone.
He convinced you to share locations with him since he’d be picking you up from campus and work now. Technically, you’ve only been dating a couple days but Jungkook doesn’t know how to take things slow. He copied the address it showed you were at and went to Safari to paste it. You were currently at some restaurant probably sitting across the table from that mystery guy Yeonwoo was trying to set you up with. He could easily show up and announce the two of you were dating but you told him if he did that then you’d end things right there. Apparently you needed time before admitting your relationship with him.
Too focused on letting his mind conjure up worst case scenarios, a cold liquid was drenching his designer jeans. His eyes narrowed looking over to the dancer who knocked over his drink all over his lap. Her eyes widened, “I’m so sorry sir, I—“
“Go,” was all he said before the girl was scurrying away. Fuck he didn’t even want to be here, he wanted to be with you. The only reason he came out tonight is because he didn’t want to be home alone. Since the only person he wanted to sleep with was busy and not a single girl on his phone interested him, he didn’t have anyone else to be with but his friends. He even asked them to go somewhere else but they said no.
It’s not like he hasn’t been to a strip club while in a relationship. Hell, half the time when Soomin would annoy the fuck out of him, he’d leave with his friends to one. He’d let girls give him lap dances and whisper dirty things in his ear all while his girlfriend was crying because of the things he told her. The only tears he wanted to make you shed would be from how good he’s fucking you. Three rounds, that’s how much you went at it the other day and it still wasn’t enough for him. He needed more.
“You’ve got a new play thing or something?” Hoseok asked trying to peak at Jungkook’s phone but he just turned it away as he began texting you. He shook his head, “My girlfriend’s not a play thing.”
“That’s a first,” Jin chuckled earning a glare from the younger that had him smiling, “I’m just saying. You don’t have a good track record when it comes to relationships. You break more hearts than Jimin here.”
“We’re different though. I’m at least considerate,” Jimin joked but didn’t deny the notion that he was equally as much of a womanizer as Jungkook, “He’ll treat a girl like shit then ghost her without an explanation.” Jungkook rolled his eyes reading over his text waiting to see when you’d open it. You had your read receipts off and he didn’t like that. He had to know if you were ignoring him or not.
“Who’s the new one this time?” Hoseok asked trying to get Jungkook’s attention again but you had responded and he was focusing on that instead as he muttered, “Y/n.”
“Why does that name sound familiar?” Jin asked looking at the other two for answers but they both seemed equally confused. You met his friends only one time when Soomin invited you to a party with him and her at Hoseok’s place. He was very happy to have you as a plus one to him and Soomin that night. He had an excuse to pay attention to you since Soomin told him he had to make you feel comfortable because they were his friends. God, he really never realized how much you meant to him until just a week ago when he saw you after months of thinking about you. He didn’t even care if you had had a boyfriend, he would’ve worked his way around that.
“Wait a damn minute, is that Soomin’s friend? That girl you used to date?” Jimin cut in with an amused smile, “You dog. You broke the girl’s heart and now you’ve gotta break her friend’s too?” Jungkook rolled his eyes, leg bouncing anxiously watching the three dots appear in your gray text bubble waiting for your response. Jin’s brows furrowed observing his friend’s strange behavior. Usually when a girl is blowing up Jungkook’s phone he blocks them without another word. He says he doesn’t have the patience for someone clingy and yet here he is only thinking about wanting to see you. And he’s getting annoyed that you keep telling him not tonight. He wants to see you now while you’re out having lunch with two guys, Yeonwoo’s boyfriend or not, he’s still another guy Jungkook has to worry about. If he had a small crush on you while dating Soomin, who knows what other guy in a relationship feels the same. He couldn’t take his chances.
He tilted his neck in a stretch to rid the tension in his muscles. Your most recent text was bothering him.
jungkook: what are you doing rn
you: just got to the bar with Soomin
jungkook: barely? who’s all there
you: me, yeonwoo, soomin, namjoon and taehyung
jungkook: who’s taehyung
you: namjoon’s friend
jungkook: the guy yeonwoo wants to set you up with?
jungkook: where are you
jungkook: I’m picking you up
“Earth to Y/n,” Soomin said as the five of you sat around a table all with drinks in your hands. You just finished dinner with the others and Soomin met up with you all at the bar. Like usual, you hugged and said the typical ‘omg I missed you’ before moving on. During dinner you actually enjoyed talking to Taehyung. He was charming and attractive so you understood why Yeonwoo kept pushing you toward him but things were complicated. You looked up at Soomin setting your phone facing down on the table, “What happened?”
“Who’s blowing up your phone?” She asked with an amused smile but you could feel Yeonwoo’s stare toward you. You blinked in thought, “My coworker. He’s trying to switch shifts but I don’t want to.”
“Where do you work?” Taehyung asked and you were thankful he was stopping anymore questions Soomin or Yeonwoo might have. You turned to look at him with a smile, “I work at this clothing store by my apartment. It’s small but pretty popular.”
“How many people work there?” He asked clearly interested. You had a feeling he was a little interested in you but there was nothing you could do. You cleared your throat, “Three of us aside from the owners.” Your phone buzzed once more and everyone heard the echo of the vibration on the table.
jungkook: or should I just show up and see for myself?
you: :( can you just come over later? no need to come get me
jungkook: you don’t want to see me?
you: I do but I’m busy
jungkook: too busy for me? :( and with another guy
you: fine come get me
jungkook: perfect. be there in ten
Your brows furrowed, where was he that he was so close? You looked up, your eyes meeting Yeonwoo’s who smiled, “Come with me to get another drink.” You bit your lips nervously nodding your head and following after her. The two of you got to the bar and waiting for her to put her order in was giving you anxiety because you knew she wanted to talk. She looked over to you, “You’ve been acting weirder than usual.”
“How?” You asked looking down at your phone and checking the time. She gave a shrug of her shoulders stopping to pay for her drink and turned to you again, “You’re acting like you’re in another relationship with another asshole.”
“I know how you get when you’re seeing someone. You get antsy and suspicious like you’re doing something wrong—which you are,” Yeonwoo said firmly, “Not that getting in relationships is wrong obviously but it’s the guys you tend to go for who are. I don’t want you to tell me who you’re seeing but I have my own suspicions. I won’t tell anyone but just don’t leave us—me—out. I’m looking out for you, I know I can be hard on you sometimes but it’s because you’re my best friend now.”
“I’m not shutting anyone out,” you tried focusing on one thing she said at a time. You had to be careful with your responses and not expose yourself. You already know how she’d react if she found out you were seeing Jungkook.
“Yeah, whenever you’re in a relationship you act different. Just two weeks ago you were crying your eyes out because of Doyoung, and now you’re completely fine?” Yeonwoo said , “What is wrong with you?”
You didn’t say anything. It’s easy for you to come off as weak and that’s the way everyone saw you. You’re the one too stupid, too naive, too weak, too wrong. It’s pretty much all you heard for a very long time so hearing that sort of thing from your friend didn’t really phase you. You knew that nothing you did would make them happy and you know she only kept you around because she pitied you. It’s why she spends so much time derailing you on everything you do being wrong. Even if majority of the time she was a bitch to you, you cherished the small times you actually had a good time together. And maybe it’s your fault by clinging onto the good to ignore how bad the bad was.
You just really didn’t want to lose people in your life because then what would you become? You’re pretty much useless in your own eyes so what’s wrong with letting the people around use you too? Hell, Jungkook was probably using you too and you were letting him, and why?
Because it means you’re wanted.
For a long time you strived for perfection in relationships. Any form of relationship actual. The perfect child. Perfect student. Perfect friend. Perfect girlfriend. You’d given up on the first two long ago when nothing you did meant shit to your mother and it had just gotten too exhausting. Then you were too stupid depressed to focus on your grades and there went your imagination as the perfect student. You knew long before fucking Jungkook that you weren’t a good friend so what was all that was left? Being the perfect girlfriend. So would you really care about your friend’s judging your dating history when you’re determined to find the right one?
You’re not saying it’s Jungkook but what if it is? Maybe it was just bad luck that he was Soomin’s ex. From the way you saw him act with Soomin, he hasn’t done with you. Maybe you’re in the honeymoon phase but you wouldn’t know until you stuck it out. Plus, you kind of really liked him and how interested in you he seemed to be.
“And I’m a little upset you won’t even give Taehyung a chance. He’s a great guy,” Yeonwoo said ignoring your silence, used to your disassociating and just moved on. You began walking back to where the others were. You knew Taehyung was great, you figured that out tonight for yourself but you’re not thinking about him right now. You’re supposed to be in a new relationship with Jungkook. The only reason you agreed on the double date before Soomin came by was because you had already said yes to it before Jungkook asked you out.
Just as you got to the table, your phone buzzed with a text from Jungkook saying he was outside. You looked to all the others as Yeonwoo took her seat, “I think I’m gonna go. I’ll see you in class?”
Your cold eyes met hers as you started gathering your things. Soomin looked to you worried, “How are you getting home? The last bus passed already.”
“I’ll get a cab,” you said as you smiled letting it light your whole face but it was forced. “Well, bye.”
You weren’t even ten feet away from the table when you could hear Soomin ask, “Does Y/n have another boyfriend?” You didn’t hear Yeonwoo’s response but frankly you didn’t care. You understood where she’s coming from but it’s unfair and total bullshit to you. You were younger than the others so they always tried ‘looking out for you’ but in reality it was just an excuse they used to try and get you to do what they want. Like, Yeonwoo complains about the fact that you’re always in a new relationship meanwhile she’s trying to get you to go out with Taehyung. The way you two talked was like old friends, not people sexually attracted to each other.
Just outside the bar you found Jungkook. He was looking down at his phone and part of you wished he would’ve just waited in the car. You’re not embarrassed to be with him, the contrary actually. Girls turned their heads left and right to see him and yet you’re the one with him no matter how new everything was. You just didn’t want to risk your friends knowing more. Plus, right now you’re not even sure if he wants you. For all you know, he can dump you in a week because you’re too needy. Then everyone would hate you for even dating him and that’s why you think you should keep it on the low till you know he actually wants to be with you. The only way to find that out is by expecting the most show of affection from him.
Jungkook looked to his left at the exact moment you’d gotten to the sidewalk heading in his direction. He couldn’t help the way his tongue poked against his cheek in irritation at the sight. You wore a pretty little dress that he adored on you but you weren’t wearing it for Jungkook. You were wearing it for that guy Yeonwoo was trying to set you up with. He forced his rising jealous down as he attempted a smile to brighten his appearance. He put his phone away moving to meet you halfway and though you went for a small hug, he crouched down so his arms could wrap around your thighs lifting you up as he leaned upward for a kiss. You met him with half-assed effort practically leaning away from him and he let you go softly, looking down at you in confusion.
So you’re ignoring him now? Did that guy charm you so much that you’re over Jungkook before you actually gave him a real chance? All these thoughts raised through his head and it was driving him insane. You’re not leaving him, right? He doesn’t like to be left. He likes to do the leaving. But he doesn’t want to leave you just because you’re over him. He’s going to give you whatever you want as long as you know he should be the more important one to you.
Every girl he’s been with, he’s left because they aren’t worth staying over. All women do is use you and then leave you. He’s seen it firsthand as a kid. His hatred toward women probably had to deal with his mom. Or his dad but that was still up for debate. On one hand, he had a mother who abandoned him when he was seven. On the other, he has a piece of shit father who will degrade him for not being ‘man enough’. So, do you think he really gives a fuck about leaving a girl just because he’s sick of her?
He doesn’t. What he does give a fuck about is being left. So if you try and leave him right now, he’s not sure what he’l— “Are we going to leave or just sit in this parking lot the entire night?”
“If we stay will you be sitting on my dick all night?” He asked teasingly, all thoughts in his head vanishing the second he had to put on an act. You rolled your eyes, “So I’m just for sex?”
“That’s not how I meant it,” his voice dropped, not a single hint of teasing now. What was wrong with you. He clearly doesn’t think that. “Well how was I supposed to know that?”
He’s not sure how to respond. He knew that he was clearly no gentleman and he has used way too many girls for sex [all consensual] so in reality he understood why you felt that way. He’s never cared about it before, in fact he’s actually boasted about it. There was nothing Jungkook couldn’t have if he wanted it. So did you really think he cared about using people for his own desires? No, he didn’t. But now you’re trying to paint him as the bad guy like he’s going to do it to you and it’s bullshit.
He’s used to being confronted like this but he’s not used to actually caring so what is he supposed to do? “I’m not using you for sex,” he muttered, “Is it hard to believe I’m really just into you.”
“It is,” you said and he sighed. “Alright, what do I have to do to prove to you that I’m serious.”
“I don’t know, when you show it, I’ll know.”
Jungkook’s been overthinking things lately. He doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like having to worry about things he never used to and it’s all your fault. Sometimes, you don’t answer his texts, other times you blow up his phone. He never knows what mood you’ll be in and though you usually go with whatever he says, sometimes you do the complete opposite. He’s not sure what you want from him. He loves you but you don’t believe him. You still think he’s going to leave you and that pisses him off. What’s he supposed to do to show you he won’t? That’s why you don’t open up to him. You’re fine letting him take control but then when he wants more from you, you can’t. You’re an emotional person and he knows that, why you won’t be that way around him? He’s not sure. He knows he’s changed, since when has he ever cared for his girlfriends emotions.
November 16th, 2021
“Baby, are you mad at me?” Soomin had asked. It was close to the end of their relationship and Jungkook just couldn’t stand her. She was getting too clingy, too needy and he didn’t like that. He didn’t want her all up on him unless he asks her to. What’s worse is that she’s acting like this in front of her friends. She’s on his lap, touching his hair, laughing too loud in his ear. It was overwhelming his senses and he hated every second of it. He couldn’t resist the roll of his eyes as he tried scooting away from her so he could have space. She was in his personal bubble and he didn’t want her there. He didn’t want to talk to her, hell he didn’t even want to look at her. Instead, he looked at you. You were smiling over something on your phone and when Yeonwoo asked you what it was you just said it was some guy you were talking to.
He’s already felt on edge today and he’s tried distancing himself but Soomin doesn’t give him space. She thinks he’s mad at her. Of course she thinks it’s about her. Everything is about her apparently.
“Why do you always ask me the same damn thing? Do you want me to be? Cause you’re really annoying the fuck out of me right now,” he muttered under his breath in fear that you would hear him. Soomin looked hurt but she just nodded instead of arguing with him. He had a headache and he wanted to leave. He’s supposed to sleep over tonight but he doesn’t know if he wants to anymore. He’s not sure he can spend another night with Soomin. She’s driving him crazy, just completely fed up. What’s up with her being so damn needy? Give him his space, please. He’ll call her when he wants to, she doesn’t need to be bothering him all the fucking time.
They sat in silence, listening to what Yoongi was saying as he sat between you and Yeonwoo. Jungkook was actually happy with the peace and quiet now, finally he didn’t have to hear her voice. Fuck, he was annoyed now. He stood up suddenly, pushing her foot out of the way as he left to her room. He just needed a moment by himself. Clearly he wasn’t going to get that though because just two minutes later, Soomin was following. He took a deep breath as she entered the room, “What do you want?”
This is why he hates relationships. He can’t even get a minute to himself. Soomin sat on the edge of her bed next to him, “What’s wrong? Why are you upset?”
“Because you keep bothering me,” he said when in truth he was upset before she badgered him. His eyes were on hers seeing the flash of hurt cross them at his harsh tone. Yes, get upset, can’t she see he can’t even pretend to care about her right now? He decided to keep going, “You’re so fucking clingy, you know that? You can’t just leave me alone for one minute? You just had to follow me. Your friends are out there so go worry about them and leave me alone. I don’t want to deal with you right now.”
“Why are you being such a dick right now?” She asked close to tears but he didn’t care. He scoffed in disbelief, already feeling a hint of a tantrum before of the fact that she wouldn’t just stop. He groaned loudly, “Because I’m telling you that I want some space and you’re too fucking stupid to listen!”
“Oh my god,” he huffed in annoyance as he looked over at her catching her wiping tears away, “Are you seriously crying right now? You’re gonna walk out there and make me look like the bad guy because you’re crying. You’re so fucking selfish Soomin. If you would’ve just left me alone when I asked you to then I wouldn’t have yelled at you but clearly you’ve got nothing inside that little head of yours.”
“I get that you’re mad over who knows what but you don’t have to take it out on me. I’m just trying to talk to you an—“ “That’s the God damn problem! I don’t want to talk to you, isn’t that fucking obvious? There’s a reason I came in here and you had to follow. Now you’re playing victim and making me out to be the bad guy because you can’t get the hint that you’re what’s pissing me off right now? Give me a break,” Jungkook was standing now, he was ready to just go home. He picked up his backpack of things as he looked up at her, “And stop crying, you look so dumb.”
“Fuck you Jungkook,” she cried making him laugh. “You already do.” She glared at him, “Just leave.” “I already am.”
He didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone. He was already fed up and he was done talking to her. Everyone must’ve heard their argument because they were all dead silent but he didn’t care. He hated today and he was ready to leave. Yeah whatever, he’s been on edge all day and now he’s taking it out on Soomin, who the fuck cares. If she didn’t like it then she could leave him. He’d gladly let her. But he knows she won’t and that’s what he takes advantage of. He just needed someone to be his emotional punching bag because he hated today. When he got to his car he looked at his phone, a text from his older brother that only made him more annoyed than ever.
junghyun: todays the day mom left
November 16th, 2022
You felt like you couldn’t breathe, your body aches and you can’t do anything about it. A warm body laid over yours forcing you on your back the last two hours. Jungkook just wouldn’t wake up, he’s completely knocked out crushing you under him. It was cute kind of, he came over when you got off work and the first thing he did was crawl into your bed and rest his head on your chest. You fell asleep for a while but after being tired of laying in the same position, you woke up. It was no use though, Jungkook was still fast asleep clearly exhausted about something but you’re not sure what. He didn’t even go to class today and it’s not like he has a job with the monthly allowance of a few grand his dad gave him, he had nothing better to do than wait for you to have time for him.
It was still strange to think of how gentle Jungkook was with you. You remember all the screaming matches him and Soomin used to have and now you’re wondering if you’re living on borrowed time. If soon enough he’ll be yelling and degrading you the same way he used to do with Soomin. Even knowing all that you’re still letting yourself fall for him. You’re still going out with him and letting him hold you when you should be disgusted with him. He’s an arrogant asshole and you’re the stupid fool slowly falling in love with him. You just didn’t want him to leave when he’s telling you he loves you like nobody else can—and yet deep down you don’t believe it. You still want more. You want him to mean it. To prove it.
His body seemed to shiver and for a second you thought he was waking up. But instead, he was shoving his face into your neck, fluffy bed hair tickling your face. You felt needed at the moment and you kind of like that.
It was only a moment later that your phone was lighting up the dark room. You reached out for it making Jungkook shift a little and as you read the name of the caller, you visibly dejected. The phone landed on your pillow hoping to let it ring and finally the call ended. Good.
You let your eyes shut hoping to go back to sleep when it was going off again. With a small groan you took a deep breath in preparation before answering the phone as quietly as possible. “Hello?”
“It’s nice of you to finally answer, did you not see my first call?”
You let your eyes roll bring the phone away from your phone to see if Jungkook was still sleeping. He was, cheek squished on your collarbone, lips slightly parted, and legs pinning yours down. He was clinging onto you pressing you between him and the bed. You had to make this call quick unless you wanted to wake him up, “I was sleeping.”
“You know, I really wish you’d call more, I’m your mother, I wonder how you’re doing,” she said through the phone and it only seemed to bother you even more. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah that’s hard to believe Y/n, all you’ve done since you moved is shut me out, it’s like my little girl isn’t here anymore,” she said, “Oh, and I was looking at one of your posts, and—now, this might just be me—but have you been eating differently? Your body looks different and I know how you get about your looks so I just had to tell you. Maybe try and diet better, get more sleep because you look tired an—“
You were ready to hang up the phone just now. Jungkook was starting to move around more and you just wanted to hang up. You don’t think you could put up with her tonight. If she wants to talk about your body and how you should strive for perfection instead of letting yourself go then she could bring it up another day. Jungkook released a soft groan right into the ear the phone was pressed again, your mom stop mid-sentence. “Is that a man?” She asked now, “When are you going to settle down? This soon? Well, I guess nows the chance to find a man who can take over you since you can’t do it yourself. I’m just thinking about you’re future. You’re pretty and young but you’re not all there honey. I know you don’t like getting hurt but sometimes you have to go through those things to find love. Nows your chance. Do you think anyone’s going to want you when you’re my age? I’d kill to have the body I had at your age.”
“I’ve given up so much for you,” she said now, “You know how hard it was to raise you when your father walked out? All I ask from you is to call me, and settle down. I just worry that you’ll never find anyone, or nobody would want you. You used to be so perfect.”
“Is this what you called for?” “What’s got you in a mood? Is it that gu—“
“Hang up the phone,” a voice murmured and as you looked down, Jungkook’s eyes were on yours. You didn’t do it quick enough because he was hanging it up for you. He rolled off you, stretching his limbs as he laid next to you now. You had a text from your mom saying you were rude but you ignored it moving to stand up when his hand reached for your arm. You looked back at him as his brows furrowed, “Where are you going?”
“To the bathroom, you’ve been laying on me for hours,” you said standing up. He checked the time and date on his phone, great. It was still November 16th. He watched you walk away and for some reason that made him anxious so he was sitting up to go after you. “Who was that on the phone?” Your bathroom door was slightly open so you could hear him just fine but you acted like you didn’t. Once you were done you were at the sink washing your hands. Jungkook was at the door now, arms crossed over his chest, “Who was it?”
“My mother,” you walked past him, missing the way his jaw tensed following you to your bed again. You looked at your vanity mirror off to the side of the bed. She’s right, you do look different and nobody will want you if you look like this. Jungkook wouldn’t. Maybe you just needed to put effort into yourself, he was crazy to want to have sex with you when you looked like this. You know, it’d be really nice to talk to someone who wouldn’t constantly bash on literally anything about you but seems like those are the only people you attract. Your mother and friends were perfect examples of people calling out every single mistake you make.
Maybe that’s why you run to a relationship for an escape. Men don’t question you because they only want one thing and that’s better than being judged for everything you do. It’s like, after your dad left all that your mother did was tear you down. Constantly reminding you how nobody would want you if you’re not perfect because that’s how she felt about your dad leaving. If she would’ve been prettier, thinner, younger, he wouldn’t have left to start a new family. Then, you wouldn’t have been stuck with your mother running to a man and begging him to stay for you like your father didn’t. What made it worse was the close relationship with your dad only for him to walk out on you. That’s why you tried being a perfect girlfriend, so men don’t leave but they still do. Even when you play the naive and gullible girlfriend, your lies begin to unravel.
“What are you thinking about?” A kiss was placed on your shoulder from behind you. You forced a smile on your face. Your dad used to say your mother was too emotional. It’s what drove him away, so instead of confiding, you ignored it. You tried to flip the script, “Nothing, just noticed you’re really tired today.”
He made a grumbled sound as he moved away, neither one of you wanted to talk about anything yet. Though, if he’s being honest. He’s never talked to anyone about his childhood memories. Not his brother, his father, his friends, teachers, girlfriends, nothing. Instead he lets his father bribe him with money and takes advantage of the people around him because he thinks they don’t genuinely care about him enough to ask. And why would he confide in a girl who won’t even stay? Maybe, in the future if you don’t leave him, he’ll be honest.
You sensed his down mood as well. You’re not sure if it had anything to do with you or something else but you knew that your job was to make him feel better. That’s what you should do, don’t think about your feelings, think about his. You turned to sit on his lap, his legs over the edge of the bed making him sit and his hands immediately went to your waist. “Will a kiss make you feel better?” He smiled nodding his head as he leaned into you capture your lips with his pulling you flush against him by your hips and cradled you in his arms. You pressed your hips further down onto his groin as his tongue swiped along your mouth lapping at your own. Heads turned in opposite direction to further your depths into each others mouths. You rocked your hips a bit, a groan spilling from his lips to yours, gripping your hips tighter to help aid your movements. Your hands were on his torso now, pulling on his shirt wanting to get to the fun part much quicker.
A part of him wanted to talk to you, ask why you were upset and why you wouldn’t tell him. That’s how he knew you were different than the others. He found himself actually caring about what you had to say, but when you lifted his shirt off him, hands roaming his bare skin he couldn’t think. Maybe when the lust haze went away he’d think clearly on how to elevate the relationship from just sexual acts. He has to show you how intense he could get in loving you because it’s what you wanted. You wanted to make him stay and you’re so stupid for that. He wouldn’t leave even if you begged him to. He’s gonna be the one you attach yourself to, he swears it and right now you’re just so perfect. But part of him knows it’s all an act and he’s not sure if he’s ready to see the real you just yet.
He's already half hard, the head of his cock pulsing as he rapidly grows in his briefs that were beginning to tighten over his member. He couldn’t stop kissing you, not even when your hands trailed up from the ridges of his six-pack. It made him moan into your mouth at the feel of your hands on him, running over his nipple buds making him jump in surprise.
He makes a move to pull on your shirt but you tell him no. It makes him annoyed but when you shimmy back on his lap, pulling on the button of his jeans, any protest he had went out the door. His hands were still loosely on your waist despite the gap you put between you two that had him pulling back from the kiss to look.
Your fingers now lightly touch the line between muscle on his abs, trailing it toward his happy trail and just over the hem of his brief. Jungkook’s warm and a flush begins to creep around his neck and chest as your fingers continue their journey. You lean back into him, kissing at his neck and collarbone feeling him clench your shirt with his fists in anticipation. You add in teeth, softly scraping and nipping and biting, before shooting your tongue out to soothe the spots you’ve turned red all over his neck.
He licked his dry lips when you pulled back, ready to chase after yours but he couldn’t. Not when you got off his lap and onto the floor between his legs. You were quick, tugging at his jeans and underwear making him stand to kick them off before sitting back down on the edge of the bed. You don’t wait, your palm teases the head of his cock, and a trail of drool escapes hie mushroom tip leaking onto your palm.
"Fuck," Jungkook groans as you palm his cock, your fingers closing around his length in a grip that had his loose skin shifting with each pulse.The weight and width of him in your hand never fails to amaze you. He reacted so easily to your touch and he felt heavy in your hand. This is the first time you’re sucking his dick. You’ve only had sex that one time since you’ve only been together for a week and don’t have that much time to see each other. You had to make it worth his while if you want him to stay, or so you think.
You squeeze and pull his cock in alternating turns, taking in the way his stomach muscles tighten, how his thighs jump, the way he spreads his toes out against the floor. His head was tilted to the side, eyes glazed over with lust. A hand loosely in your hair while the other supported his sitting position against the bed.
Your eyes met his was a handful of cock being jerked with a twist of your wrist. The intense nature of his gaze nearly startled you. His pupils are blown, his brown eyes have gone dark, his mouth hangs open as harsh breath hisses through his teeth. Loving the look in his eyes, you took the chance to move your lips to the head of his cock.
You grip tightens to trace the weeping head across your lips practically coating them like it was lip gloss. Your tongue sneaks out to lick at the sticky residue before going back again, tracing his head with your full lips. You sink the head of his cock into your mouth between passes over your lip, sucking just enough to make his thighs tense.
"Oh fuck!" Jungkook's hand lands on your jaw when you flick your tongue just below the head. You circle your thumb and forefinger just below there and squeeze in time with each movement of your tongue which lapped up his cock drool.
You grip his thigh with your free hand your nails scratch and clutch at the tense muscles.
“So good to me,” he moans as he lets his head tip back in pleasure, eyes blinking away the sense of tears as he forced his gaze on the ceiling instead of on you. You’ll make him cum too fast if he keeps looking at your eyes. He slowly started fucking more of his cock into your wanting mouth, hearing the slush of spit and precum being pushed in and out of your tight throat. His mouth drew open in a silent moan when a hand of yours reached down, your index finger and thumb making a ring around his balls, and squeezing. All while you bobbed your head to meet the thrusts of his hips forcing more cock into your mouth. His breaths were raspy, feeling your tongue lick at his tight balls practically edging him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he collapse onto the bed, feet against the bed frame edge, hips lifted off the bed. Muscles on his body protruding as you sucked his cock and balls like nobody ever has. He was so close. So so so so so cl—
“I’m cu—“ his forearm covered his eyes, hips bucking beautifully into your mouth, cock twitching with every pulse of thick cum that just wouldn’t stop. After two spurts of the creamy liquid he was still on his high. Then another came, and another twitch, and another, another, another. You gagged, finally lifting off his cock with a line of drool and cum connecting your mouth to his dick. It twitched only your hands and you couldn’t help but laugh in pleasure to how you’ve left him. Sweat down his body, veins on his v-line twitching, cock convulsing.
His eyes were squeezed shut when your tongue began licking all the excess cum off his cock, swallowing every drop and he felt paralyzed. God, you’re so fucking perfect. If the two of you could just stay in the bubble where you only focused on each other; he’d be at peace. It took him a second to reel himself back in before he was licking his lips, “Get up here.” You nodded moving to the space between his legs ready to crawl but he stopped you on the edge. His hands found their way to your shorts as he began slipping them down your legs with your underwear too.
“Hey, this is about you,” you whined letting him slide them down your legs throwing them onto the floor as he kissed your hip quickly. Jungkook lied back down on his back motioning for you to keep crawling, “It’s still about me then, I want you riding my face.” You didn’t argue with that as you finally got close enough to let your thighs press against the sides of his head. You were too far from the headboard to use it for support and you didn’t want to force all your weight down on him. You had gotten too aroused sucking him off that you already felt sensitive but you didn’t want to seem too needy.
Jungkook’s hands wrapped around your thighs as he looked up at you, “Take your shirt off,” he muttered between kisses on the insides of your thigh. You didn’t waste another second, nodding your head as you began to do as told feeling Jungkook leave small suctioning sensation on your tender thighs, you’re core was wet and he could practically taste it but he won’t. Not until you’re ready. You began undoing your bra letting it slide off your arms and tossed it to the side. Jungkook’s eyes met yours for one quick moment before pulling down at your thighs making you sink onto him.
Before you could even think of saying anything, your mouth drew open with a moan. Jungkook had gripped your butt with both hands moving your cunt as he licked a fat strip up to your clit. Your hand flew down to his hair instantly for support and if only made him groan in pleasure, your taste on his tongue. His eyes fell shut, tongue licking up your slit as it flicked at your clit. Jungkook’s lips wrapped around your aroused clit and he kissed it. A soft kiss that was tender like he’d done to your lips so many times. A slurping sound was heard as he tugged on your labia pulling both sides out.
“Oh…” you moaned, the hand tightening his hair in your hole. The hands on your ass began guiding you to move, making growing on his face as he released your clit from his mouth traveling down again to let his tongue swallow more of your slick. His eyes rolled at the taste, hungry for more so he went faster. His tongue flicking back and forth in your hole as his nose tip hit your clit.
“Fuck, Jungkook baby, fuck,” you babbled, panting as a full body tremble girated you on top of him. Finally, you had gotten more comfortable letting him pleasure you from below and you found yourself adding rhythm to your hips feeling his head move with you. The vibration of his answering groans made you gasp, even closer to that sweet edge that blowing him had brought you just moments before. The delicate skin of your inner thighs was pressing against his ears his earmuffs and he loved every second of it. You looked down and meet his opening eyes, darkened with his own desire, and he took your clit back into his mouth forcing your hips to grind against his chin too. You watched him suck on your clit like it was a nipple, eyes on your chest as your exposed breasts bounced with each moment. Without another thought, you took your hand off his head bringing both up to your breasts.
He sucked harder at that, pulling and nipping at it with a soft touch of his teeth, tongue wrapping around it and pleasuring your labia with each flick. Your hands cupped your tits, squeezing them in tiny fists as you moaned silently, adding a bounce to your hips.
His hands kept you upright as the pleasure spread through you and your fingers pinched at your hardening buds as he sucked on your clit, chin rutting against your folds, your moans turning to a scream of his name. “Jungkook!”
He groaned into your cunt, a hand leaving to his hardening cock feeling it twitch against his happy trail. He took it in a fist, slowly pumping himself in rhythm with your hips, eyes focused on the pinch and pull of your pretty nipples. He wanted them in his mouth but he wanted your pussy even more.
The room was dark, only lighting up with a white hue as his phone began to ring. His older brother’s name displayed to do his annual check in on November 16th. He didn’t care though, he was too busy taking his girlfriend’s pretty pussy, drinking up everything like it was his last feast. You looked over to the ringing phone distracted but still riding his face and he didn’t like that. He wanted your attention on him as he brought you to orgasm. His cock was being jerked off roughly by his own hand and you had the nerve to look at his ringing phone.
He wants you to cum wetly and completely over his frantically working mouth so he can drink it all up, swallowing the taste of you down like you did him. You feel yourself begin to clench around him, and Jungkook pulls back to tilt his head up making you finally look at him when the phone stopped ringing. He was breathing heavy trying to catch his breath while a hand came around to rubbing at your clit, "Cum for me, baby, wanna feel you cum on my tongue"
At that, he attached his mouth to your cunt again, tongue pressing into your folds pushing out more and more slick. His thumb worked harder, circling around your clit every which way while your hands kneaded your breasts roughly and his cock twitched with the need to cum again.
“Jung—Jungk—“ Your orgasm hits you hard and so fucking good that your thighs shake as you tried lifting yourself up, but Jungkook keeps a hard grip on your around your thigh now, forcing you to take all of touches. His tongue worked feverishly to lick up your essence. His eyes were shut, pumping his cock faster, more messy as he drank up your cum. Your hand was in his hair again trying to pull him away but it only egged him on to finish having you unravel completely. With a final, rough yank of his hair, his cock was creaming. His hand getting drenched in his own cum in the process as he finally allowed you to move.
Your legs trembled as you attempted to swing one leg over him and he helped you. His abdomen sticky with his own cum and yours all over his chin but he didn’t care. He had no plans to leave this bed with you.
You were nervous, more than you needed to be because in reality there was no need to be worried. You’re just with your friends in the courtyard listening to them make plans for later. Lately anytime you see them you only find yourself feeling guilty—a little annoyed too but you’re pretty sure you shouldn’t feel that way. You shouldn’t be annoyed that Soomin was hanging out with you more regularly but you were. She ignored the two of you for months simply because Jungkook ghosted her. It’s not like she was nice about it either when you saw each other on campus and she’d purposely avoid you. It got to the point where Yeonwoo didn’t want to see her either and that’s the last time you had worried about it.
Now, all of a sudden she’s interested in being friends again. Since she’s had time to herself she’s ready to hang out with friends and to you that was total bullshit. Sure, you loved hanging out with her and being friends but you can’t just do what Soomin did and be welcomed back with open arms. It has nothing to do with her wanting time for herself after Jungkook but it had everything to do with the way she handled things. If she hadn’t gone out of her way to avoid seeing you two in person it’d be different. You understand wanting time to yourself but you don’t drop your friends out of nowhere and suddenly come back like nothing happened with no apology. It’s not like it was yours or Yeonwoo’s fault that Jungkook ghosted her. You have get to ask him despite being curious about it. You’re worried that if you bring it up Jungkook won’t be happy.
So that’s what made you feel annoyed. What made you feel guilty—for very obvious reasons—is that you were dating her ex boyfriend behind her back and being friendly to her face. That was very bitchy of you but you weren’t doing anything about it. You just let yourself play the friend and the girlfriend like it wasn’t taking a toll on you making you nervous.
“Are we still on for tonight?” Soomin asked looking between you and Yeonwoo. Your mind blanked. You know there was something planned between you all but you completely forgot it was tonight. You and Jungkook had gone shopping just yesterday and despite telling him not to buy you all this nice stuff he did it anyway. Then, he said he wanted you wearing a certain skirt for a date tonight. He was supposed to be picking you up straight from campus and that’s why you’d been dressed so nicely tonight.
“It’s been planned for over a month, I hope so,” Yeonwoo said with a small laugh. God, you really are stupid. You remembered what was the original plan now. A month ago, you all — minus Soomin — made plans to treat yourselves to an expensive dinner. Since you and all your friends had been focused on exams and work you all figured you needed a break. After days of trying to find the right time you quickly realized it had to be a planned outing instead of just whenever. Since you all had conflicting schedules you took a day off weeks in advance so you could all go. Soomin just started talking with you again a couple weeks ago but Taehyung asked if she was going and that’s how she’d been invited. It was supposed to be a nice outing that all the friends could just hang out and drink. It wasn’t a party or school environment, just a chance for everyone to get together and do something different than just hang around someone’s place and eat cheap food. Now it made so much sense why Yeonwoo hadn’t questioned your nice clothes today which you’d been so nervous would be noticed.
She had a tendency to sniff out your plans and even catch on quickly to the way your appearance changed like every friend happened to notice. It’s why you noticed her makeup today and her styled hair but you didn’t question it because you didn’t want her to question you. Now you understood that you were all dressed up for later and if you would have seen Namjoon and Taehyung, you would’ve noticed that their appearance was cleaner today. Wow, you really are stupid and that makes you want to laugh. Soomin nudged your foot, “I like your skirt, I’ve never seen you in Chanel, hell I didn’t even know you could afford it.”
Yeonwoo pushed Soomin lightly telling her something you couldn’t understand but Soomin just smiled, “You know what I mean, like, you don’t normally wear designer.”
You just shrugged, “Now I do.” You didn’t want to answer more questions because you wouldn’t be able to answer without having to think up a lie. You had gone out shopping yesterday to specifically find a winter coat. Jungkook obviously drove you around and what was supposed to be a quick trip turned into him taking you to any store you even looked at. You ended up in Chanel and when you told him you couldn’t afford it he shushed you and began showing you outfits. Such as the one you were currently wearing, the one he had asked you to wear tonight for dinner. Fuck. You had to either cancel on Jungkook or cancel on everyone else.
Though you would rather hang out with Jungkook you know it would be suspicious. Yeonwoo was already suspicious of you as it was and you commend her for not pushing you to respond despite still being openly rude about your choice in relationships. You knew that not going out tonight despite having it planned for weeks what make you look suspicious and with everyone asking if you’re seeing someone it just wouldn’t look right. On the other hand you didn’t want Jungkook mad at you. You could already hear him on the phone with you sulking about it. Yeonwoo sighed, “I’ve gotta get to class, I’ll meet with you guys later?”
“I’ll walk with you,” Soomin rushed out already getting up to follow her, “I’ve got class that way too. See ya Y/n.” You let them leave you behind as you gathered your things too leaving the library to your next two hour lecture. You brought your phone out already trying to figure out what to tell Jungkook. You knew he’d hate this but you kept thinking about your friends. You didn’t want them all to turn against you because you kept choosing to be with Jungkook. You’ve already ditched out in plans three times and you just couldn’t do it again, especially after they knew you were dressed up for a reason. You know he really won’t be happy but you can’t just think about him. You can go on a date another time, you’ll fit it into your busy schedule that he also complains about. Fuck there’s no easy way to go about this and it’s 100% your fault for being so damn forgetful and avoidant.
When Jungkook’s phone rang in the middle of his studies, he had absolutely no problem leaving his friends to go and answer it. He leaned against the wall of the building waiting g outside so he could answer, “Hey.” A warm smile was on his face already and he hadn’t even heard you speak yet. He kept thinking about the other night. Each night he spent with you there was something knew he liked or didn’t expect.
He can’t lie and says he’s changed because in reality he hasn’t. He still acts the way he wants to other but with you he feels like he could actually relax. Before it used to feel like a chore having to date and the only reason he’d do it is for convenience. Too many girls wanted something more serious than sex and he figured with a couple dinners here and there he could say they’re dating without actually having feelings. He was a very distant boyfriend and yet every single girl he dated loved him—even when he didn’t even act like he felt the same. It’s because they liked the thought of being with Jeon Jungkook, the son of a CEO, the popular and rich guy. He wouldn’t have to try hard, all he had to do was smile sweetly at someone and ask if they wanted to go out. It made it easier to never be alone when someone like him felt so lonely.
Everything about those relationships had always been so shallow to him. He’d make the calls and demands. Everything was always on his time, when he wanted and he didn’t care how the other felt because they never left him. They let him make all the decisions following him around just happy to be there. He’d fell them what they wanted to hear even if it wasn’t the truth and when they’d try and get closer he’d be mean. It’s what happened with Soomin way too many.
And he’s not like that with you. You haven’t shared deep conversation yet but he feels a lot more open to letting you in. There’s just something about you that drives him to feel these intense emotions and all he wants to do is stay with you so he could feel them more. He could hear you take a breath as you spoke, “Hey, is this a good time? Or are you busy?”
“I’ve got time, why? Did you miss me?” He asked even though he should be doing his work. He’s already put off a lot of his assignments to have time for you when you weren’t busy and even without a job in the way he felt way too occupied with you alone. You smiled a little, “I did, but uh, I just wanted to talk to you about something.”
He nodded as though you could see him, “What’s up?” He’s been thinking about you all day. He hasn’t seen you since he went back to his place yesterday and he keeps picturing you in the light pink skirt he bought you yesterday. He has planned the perfect dinner tonight in hopes of officiating your relationship more than just sex in your apartment, and movies in the living room. That didn’t feel like a real relationship despite how strong he felt about you so he wants to show you the kind of boyfriend he could be. He knows he’ll be good to you. You cleared your throat, “So about tonight…Ican’tmakeittonight.”
“I’m sorry, mind repeating that? I don’t think I heard right. You can’t what?” His breath was already turning uneven. After everything he did so that tonight would be perfect and you’re telling him what exactly? You bit your lip nervously, your pace to your next class had slowed while you talked, “So, um, it’s all my fault, okay? I forgot that tonight was supposed to be a big dinner with everyone and I had even taken the day off work for it. I think that’s why I was free tonight for our date and I just forgot it’s cause I scheduled it off. I would miss the dinner but everyone’s already suspicious that I’m seeing someone an—“
“You are seeing someone,” Jungkook tried hard to even his voice out so he could remain calm but his heart was beating too fast in irritation, “Do you expect me to keep wanting to keep it hidden? We’re not doing anything wrong, what happened with Soomin was months ago and if they tell you anything about it then they can talk to me because it’s not your fault. And it’s not up to anyone else what we do.”
You took a deep breath, “You’re righ—“ “Then why can’t you just go on this date with me? Who cares if they find out we’re dating. Who cares if you ditch them and they get ma—“
“I care Jungkook, not everything is about you, I’m sorry, but I’m not ditching on them tonight. We’ve been hanging out every chance I’m free and I’ve flaked on plans with Yeonwoo three times because of it.” You answered honestly. Jungkook scoffed, he doesn’t care if they’re your friends. Soomin always had something to say about you when they dated plus she ditched you. Yeonwoo always has to act like you’re stupid and don’t know how to do anything right and that pisses him off. He doesn’t know much about Yoongi but he doesn’t care. He’s as much friends with the other two as he is with you and that’s enough for Jungkook to dislike him. It only adds onto the more people he has to fight for your attention. He couldn’t help but ask, “Who’s going?”
He had a good feeling about who would be with you tonight and he didn’t like it at all. The second he heard Yeonwoo’s boyfriend was going then he knew Taehyung would too. And though he hasn’t met Taehyung, he still remembers Yeonwoo going on about him to you and he didn’t like that you were friends with him. He wanted to tell you you wouldn’t be going out with them tonight but he couldn’t. He didn’t like the way you talked to him but he couldn’t argue with you right now so instead he reluctantly let you go with the promise of making plans another night. He hated it and the more he spent his evening thinking about it, the more he wanted to show you how much he hated that you ditched him for other people. You couldn’t just do that to him and change his plans.
You know when you just can’t feel at ease? Like since the moment you woke up you know something is already off with the day? Yeah, that’s how you felt this morning and at first you brushed it off as nerves for your date tonight. Then, you thought it was because your dumbass forgot about dinner and had to tell Jungkook. But now that you’re at dinner with the others, the feeling doesn’t go away and you don’t know why.
“Where have you been lately? I feel like any time I try and hang out with you, you’re busy, you bitch,” Yoongi said faking an annoyed pout as he rolled his eyes, “You tired of me?” You rolled your eyes as well nudging him playfully to stop talking like that. Yoongi was one of the few people you felt like you didn’t have to play a part with. He was the in between for you where you could talk to him about anything without worry that he’d judge you or tell the others. With Yeonwoo it felt like you had to agree with what ever she said and you knew that what you said others would find out. You do feel bad that you haven’t hung out with them since you’ve been with Jungkook mostly.
“I think she’s seeing someone,” Soomin said with a smirk as she sat sandwiched between Yeonwoo and Taehyung who looked at you too, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not in a relationship and plus, you’re always busy apparently. Isn’t that suspicious? Oh! And you’re wearing new clothes and it’s brand name.”
“Thanks for your input,” you cleared your throat awkwardly, “But I’ve really just been busy with work and school, you know the usual.” The conversation carried from topic to topic and honestly it felt good to do this with your friends. Though you all might disagree or not see each often it’s easy to feel comfortable around each other. You loved being with Jungkook but it was different than this.
The night you saw him at the club you had already been in a mood. Seeing him hadn’t made you feel better and even though you kissed, it had been just that. You let him tell you all the words you’ve wanted to hear and even though you shouldn’t you go out with him. You have very strong feelings toward him but you still felt like it was an act. Either you were playing into the vision of you he had created or vise versa. You were using him to play the ideal type you always dreamed of because you knew he’d act the part. So you were selfish, you’d let this guy [who broke your friend’s heart] get with you and possibly use you, or even worse, be the right one for you.
Everyone was feeling the high of conversation, the mood was good and relaxed. You said something every now and then but mostly you listened with everyone talking at once. You’re the only one to clearly hear Soomin when she excused herself to the restroom and tried listening to everyone talking. So, because you were observing, you began to notice a change in the mood. Voices seemed to have lowered, eyes glanced behind you and heads turning. And if you were only a moment sooner you would’ve had more time to disappear.
You turned your head wanting to see what had everyone so distracted now but all you caught sigh of was a black button up shirt tucked into a Gucci belt. Your heart seemed to drop, looking up as a hand landed on your shoulder gently
There was a sudden tension in the air as your eyes met a familiar dark pair with silver on the brow. Everyone stares either in confusion or anger, maybe a mix of both but you couldn’t even think of what to say. You felt like the air was suffocating you and the look on his face only seemed to annoy you.
He was smirking, like this was all just so amusing. Like he expected this response as he motioned for Yoongi to move over and the guy, clearly just as confused, moved without a word. He took the seat next to you planting a kiss on your forehead when you yanked his hand off, “What are you doing?”
“Yeah, what are you doing?” You turned quickly like everyone else did but Jungkook as your eyes locked with Soomin’s. She looked confused at first by her ex just sitting at her table when he wasn’t minutes ago. Then she looked annoyed when she saw the placement of his hand on your shoulder close to your neck softly. Nobody said anything as she came by and you wanted to react but it’s like you froze when everyone’s eyes fell on you. Jungkook didn’t even flinch, “I’m here to see who my girlfriend ditched me for tonight.”
“Your what?” Yeonwoo asked glaring at you and rightfully so. She knew, from the moment she you two at the bar, one of you was going to fuck up. She wasn’t disappointed because you fell for another guy. She knew that’s what you’d do. That’s what you always did but with Jungkook? After knowing how he treated and dumped Soomin. Jungkook reached across your plate for a bite of what ever you were eating, “My girlfriend.” He looked around at everyone focusing on one person in particular.
“This the guy you wanted to introduce to Y/n?” Jungkook asked her as he looked Taehyung over. Your hands were shaking and though you wanted to speak, Soomin beat you to it, “What the fuck is going on here? After literally disappearing on me and treating me like absolute shit you’re saying… you’re saying Y/n is your girlfriend?”
“Well someone had to say it,” Jungkook said ignoring everything but the last thing she said. You turned to Soomin, “Liste—I don’t—“ “You don’t what? You don’t think? You don’t care? What is it Y/n because right now I’m thinking you just don’t realize how fucking stupid you are for getting yourself involved with him.”
“Soomin, just take a minute and relax. People are staring,” Yoongi offered up trying to ease the tension but it was no use. Jungkook didn’t care how any of them felt. Namjoon cleared his throat, “We need the damn check.” It was awkward but nobody could say anything about it. “No, what we need is an explanation from Y/n.”
“You didn’t stop talking to him since the night of the club, right? When you were supposed to be getting over your last ex,” Yeonwoo pointed out. Jungkook groaned, “What does it matter? Why does it matter? Why are you always trying to tell Y/n what to do. All you do is bash on her an—“
“Oh this is rich,” Soomin scoffed in disbelief, “You’re one to fucking talk Jungkook. You know, the funny thing is that this is actually really expected from the two of you. We’ve got the slut and the player, match made in heaven.”
“Soomin, I was going to tell you I just—“ “You’re a slut Y/n, we all know it so just stop. I don’t want to hear your excuses, you wanted my ex and you took him but that’s fine.” You weren’t even surprised by her name calling but you also couldn’t find anything to say. Maybe you were even though you didn’t cheat on anyone and he didn’t either. It’s not like you two had just fucked other people before each other. And yes, you get into relationships easily but it’s not like you sleep around with anyone you weren’t dating.
“Look you can say whatever you want about me, I don’t give a fuck but don’t start calling Y/n names that aren’t true,” Jungkook said to her, “You weren’t even fucking speaking to any of them when I approached her—“
“I wasn’t speaking to anyone because of you, you fucking asshole,” Soomin said but he just laughed, “What did your friends have to do with me? I told you I wasn’t in it anymore and you ignored me so I left you. It wasn’t because of anyone else but me so why’d you do that? And I’m the one who wanted Y/n not the other way around so don’t act like she was out to get you.”
“And your so-called best friend Yeonwoo knew there was something between us since the first night and she never told you either,” Jungkook added in the final blow letting some attention drift away from you. Yeonwoo looked at Soomin, “I tried telling he—“ “But you didn’t tell me.”
Suddenly, a chair was pushed back. Jungkook looked over quickly to catch you taking your purse and standing. It’s not that you didn’t want to talk to her but not at this moment and not in front of everyone. Even strangers from other tables were staring and you understood she was upset with you but right now you just wanted to disappear. “Bab—uh oh, she’s mad,” Jungkook mumbled as he took his wallet out. He took out some money and put it down on the table, “This should cover what ever Y/n ordered.” Without another word he left, chasing after you with his tail between his legs acting completely different than the Jungkook she knew.
“What just happened?” Taehyung asked now that you were gone and so was Jungkook. Yeonwoo sighed, “Y/n is apparently seeing Jungkook.” Soomin scoffed, “My ex who ditched me out of the blue and treated me like complete shit. Now Y/n ran away because she’s scared to talk to me.”
“Maybe Y/n just didn’t want to do it in front of everyone, she seemed just as confused with Jungkook being here as everyone else,” Yoongi said making her turn to glare at him, “I’m not taking sides, I’m just saying, you yelled out that she was a slut for everyone to hear. I wouldn’t want to talk things out with you either when you’re this mad.”
“So you’re saying I’m the problem right now?” Soomin asked making Yeonwoo shake her head. “Nobody is saying that Soomin, but… I mean… you wouldn’t even let Y/n try and explain. I know it hurt your feelings especially because of how things ended with Jungkook but, I don’t know, you did stop talking to us for months and that’s when he came along.”
Jungkook was a few yards behind you. You were walking too fast and he didn’t want to chase you in front of everyone. Once outside instead of walking toward the parking garage where he parked you walked straight toward the street, a hand stretched out looking down the road, “What are you doing?”
“Going home,” you said not turning back to look at him. Jungkook scoffed, “Alright so let’s go to mine—“ “No, I’m going to my place, alone.” His eyes narrowed, you’re what? Tonight was supposed to be the first night you came over to his place after what was supposed to be a date. He stepped closer to you, a hand on your lower back, “Come on, don’t be like that.” “No Jungkook, I told you I’d be done with you, if you did this so stop. I’m done.”
His breath stopped as his pace slowed, were you really doing this to him in front of the restaurant you just ate at? “No you’re not,” Jungkook shook his head in disbelief, “They were gonna find out anyway, Y/n. We didn’t do anything wrong so can you please just look at me? We were supposed to go on a date tonight. We were supposed to be the ones together and you just ditched me for them. How is that fair to me? I came because I wanted to spend time with you—“
“No, you came so you could make a scene in front of everyone because you can’t stand the thought of being told no,” you said harshly, the Y/n he met at the club who didn’t want anything to do with him was back and Jungkook didn’t like that. He wanted the Y/n who was sweet and caring to him. You kept going when he was silent, watching his eyes begin to redden, “I am with you every single time I’m free and it’s still not enough? What do you want me to do Jungkook? I have school. I have work. I have friends, or I did.”
“They’re not your friends if all they do is look down on you!” Jungkook shouted now, not caring about the people passing, “And you don’t make time for me. Every time I want to be with you, you have something else to do—“ “Yes, because I’m not free all day! Unlike you, some of us actually need jobs to make money. I don’t get everything handed to me so sorry if I can’t be with you every second of the day.”
“And if you can’t respect my wishes then I’m done. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to be with you or talk to you. I asked you for one night, I know we had plans but I’d spent every day with you this week and you couldn’t give me just one day with others? Do you realize how fucking selfish you are?” You asked. Jungkook didn’t deny anything, “That’s cause I love you, and I want to spend all my time with you. I’m sorry th—“
“No Jungkook, you don’t love me so just don’t even say that,” you finally said looking back to him clearly upset, “I don’t even think you know how to love someone, I’ve just been going along with it until you decide to drop me like a fucking idiot thinking you might just change.”
You don’t think he knows how to love someone? After trying so hard to show you he does and yet you tell him it’s not it. This isn’t fair. You can’t do this to him just because he wanted to have dinner with you. You think that just because he comes from money, he’s just selfish? Fine, he might be but it’s not fair for you to say he doesn’t know how to love someone when it’s the first time he’s ever felt it. How is he supposed to know an emotion he never received genuinely? Not from his neglectful father or his mother’s abandonment. All he’s ever known is his older brother and even that wasn’t anything like what he felt for you. None of the girls he’d been with were genuine. They didn’t like him for him. And it’s not like he didn’t see that, so obviously he never acted like he loved them. With you he’s trying, and he’ll admit he’s doing it all wrong but you can’t just leave him after one mistake when he’s tried being good to you. Were you always this cruel because he didn’t expect it. Were you putting on an act too? His sad eyes stared into your own as he tried holding you. You let him but you wouldn’t let him pull you into him. His arms remained around your waist with space between you that felt miles long, “Please… just give me a chance. I promise I’ll change.”
“You won’t,” you said simply, “And honestly this is for the best. I don’t know what it is you want with me, but you and I just aren’t relationship types, okay? You know it and so do I. There’s a reason why we were quick to get together, and now look, it’s ending already and do you want to know why? Because you don’t care for relationships and I don’t know how to keep one. Don’t try and tell me that’s not why you wanted me because it is. You knew that I wouldn’t last with anyone and you’re not the type to want a relationship to last. You want it to be quick and easy so you can get what you want and be done. I gave it to you, so I’m fine ending things here.”
“I don’t believe that bullshit because I know that what I feel for you is different than what I’ve ever felt for anyone else,” Jungkook said in a hurry now as a cab finally pulled up to the curb for you, tears threatening to spill and he couldn’t explain why. This is not how he wanted the night to go. He knew you’d be a little mad but not this mad, “I am selfish, you’re right, and clearly I need to work on that but you can’t just leave me before I prove it to you. Please Y/n, please just don’t leave me okay? I don’t want to be left behind.” He tried stopping you from opening the door but you did it anyway. “You can’t just quit on me the first time it gets hard. You can’t run away from your feeling—“
“I can, I’ve done it before and if it stops me from getting hurt by men like you I’ll do it again,” you admitted to him, “My problem isn’t that everyone found out. My problem is that I told you to let me tell everyone when I was ready and what did you do? You showed up, caused a scene, and ignored what I want. I’m not going to lose everyone else around me because you don’t think I’ve given you enough. I’ve been left too many times to have to go through it again because of you.”
“I won’t, I swear I won’t, pleas—“ the door slammed shut in his face. You were quitting. You know you are but you just can’t believe a word he says even as tears stream down his face. You don’t doubt he has strong feelings for you and you don’t want to leave him but he isn’t giving you enough. He isn’t showing you that he really loves you. Tonight he proved that he doesn’t care what you have to say. He’ll do it anyway and that’s not what you envisioned as a perfect partner. You’re not even sure what he could do to show you he actually loves you but this wasn’t it. And maybe you wanted the extreme but he just wasn’t giving it yet, all he was doing was finding ways to keep you to himself.
“Jungkook.”
He turned, Soomin standing there just feet away from the door with her things. He’s not sure how long she was standing there or what she wanted but he didn’t care. He wouldn’t give her an apology for what he did because he doesn’t regret it. He looked back to the cab that had already left and the first thing he did was check his phone and see if he should text you. He walked right past Soomin to the parking garage. He doesn’t care, he’s driving straight to your place. “Jungkook wait.”
“What do you want Soomin?” he grumbled hearing her follow after him. He wiped away his stupid tears keeping his head down. Soomin was right behind him, “I just want to talk, give me five minutes.”
“We talked enough, don’t you think?” Jungkook said turning his head to her for a quick moment, “Where’s everyone else?”
“I ran out, look I just want to talk about us—“ “For fuck’s sake Soomin, if you want me to apologize I won’t,” Jungkook said clearly upset and she was just pushing his buttons, “I don’t care if you cried. I don’t care if you were confused. I don’t give a fuck how you felt and if you want an explanation, there isn’t one.”
“I can tell you right now that I’d do it again and leave you without a single word because I just couldn’t fucking stand you,” Jungkook said harshly. He was letting some of his anger out on her but it was better than going to you and screaming at you. Plus, Soomin called you a slut and a handful of other things because of him so why can’t she just tell him instead of going to you. She was crying now, “Why? Why were you with me then?”
He sighed deeply, pinching the space between his brows in annoyance. He laughed, a soft yet bitter laugh as he looked back to her, “At first, because you were easy and very gullible. Then, because of Y/n. I liked her and I didn’t even realize it, isn’t that fucked up? That I used you to stay around Y/n even though there was something about you that I just couldn’t stand? I put myself through torture more than what I did to you. You should’ve been happy I disappeared on you. It’s not like I acted like I cared about you.”
“So whose fault is it for being so damn stupid and blind to our relationship? It definitely wasn’t me,” Jungkook said as he began walking back to the parking garage now that he was done talking to her.
“The same way you’re blind to your relationship with Y/n?” Soomin shouted from a distance making him stop again. His jaw clenched as he turned back to her watching her come over to him toward the crosswalk. She smiled now, “Because if you think she actually cares about you, you’re dead wrong. Y/n is more fucked up than you are, y’know? She cries and cries about everyone hurting her feelings but what’s the first thing she does? She leaves you the second things get hard and she doesn’t give a single shit about how you feel. That’s why you’re crying, right? Because she left? Yeah, what did you expect? You wanted Y/n to be happy when you randomly show up? Y/n likes her secrets and you were one of them until you ruined it. Now she’s got no reason to be with you so look what happened, she left, told you off and made you cry.”
“Why do you care what Y/n does to me?” Jungkook asked. Soomin sighed, “Because I’ve never seen you cry. I’ve never seen you beg someone to stay with you like you just did with Y/n. I saw it, and I also saw her not give a single care about it and leave like you meant nothing at all.”
He’s only ever begged one other time for someone to stay and that was his mother when he was seven. What happened in the end? She left, just like you just did. Clearly there was something wrong with him if the people he tried to love kept leaving. He didn’t think you’d leave him like that and not give him a chance to fix things. But he wasn’t mad about that, he was hurt. He was mad that Soomin would bring it up like she knew the real him when she didn’t. He was mad that she would try and tell him these things about you like his mind would change. Soomin sighed, “You think Y/n loves you because she acted like she did? She didn’t. She doesn’t love any single guy she’s with. She loves the idea of having the perfect person because her life is so fucking shitty, her only way out is to be in a relationship no matter how awful the person is. So I’m not surprised she chose you, and look what happened. Once she saw how you behaved tonight, she was done and I promise you she’ll find someone new to replace you by the following week. Sounds like karma to me.”
“Goodbye Soomin,” he said as the light turned for him to walk, “And you should be happy I said goodbye this time.” He doesn’t understand why he doesn’t care about what she said. He doesn’t care if it’s true. He doesn’t care if it’s not. Clearly whatever happened between you started with lies. It seemed like you two got together naturally. That it just happened and that he was too enamored to care that he was changing. That you would just easily agree with him so you could seem perfect. It was all fucking lies and yet he doesn’t care. What you told him just now was nothing of what Soomin was saying. You didn’t lead him on, you didn’t act in love, you didn’t even fucking care that he was the opposite of perfect. So even if you two were lying about how you portrayed a relationship, real feelings were there buried down below and he showed it more than you did.
You’re not naive or innocent. You’re calculating even if you don’t show it and you wouldn’t have gone out with him if you didn’t feel something for him. The only thing you lied about was him having the control. You made him feel like he had the say when clearly he didn’t. He doesn’t, because right now he thinks you dumped him and he wasn’t expecting that. He was expecting you to be mad but let it go and clearly that’s not what happened. Everything you said might be true, but he knows that you feel something for him deep down even if you lied and said you didn’t.
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taglist: @jub-jub @moonfaery @hoseoksluv89 @jeonzll @kookieaddicted96 @darkuni63 @btspurplesky
sorry y’all I had to repost cause I forgot tags lol
wow Jungkook ain’t shit highkey 🤡 but also idc bc he’s Jungkook 🤒 also yall best not think this is the end cause you can’t have a toxic couple without making sure they break up a couple times lmao. this was more jk focused and how he’s an ass but who what the next chapterrrr will focus us
but I’m letting y’all know rn that if it gets tagged as mature again I might not continue it cuz it blocks my fics for some readers even they’re not minors cause of how the settings are
#kpop#jeon jungkook#jungkook smut#kim taehyung#bts#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#min yoongi#park jimin#bts smut
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#the conjuring#tv series#hbo max#the conjuring universe#the warrens#the warren files#why on hbo max? 🙄
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Lorraine Warren | The Conjuring
#vera farmiga#lorraine warren#the conjuring#the conjuring 2#movies#cinema#film#indie film#movieedit#cinematography#tv series#series#movie scenes
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Born in New York City in 1960, David Duchovny graduated from Princeton with an AB in English Literature before earning a Master of Arts in the same subject from Yale. Following a small role in David Lynch’s Twin Peaks he won the starring role of Fox Mulder in 1993 on the global smash hit UFO series The X-Files opposite Gillian Anderson. From 2007 to 2014 – a period which coincided with treatment for sex addiction – he played troubled womaniser Hank Moody in Californication. He’s also written five novels and released three music albums. He has two children, 24-year-old actress West and 21-year-old son Kyd with his ex-wife Téa Leoni.
Best childhood memory?
I think it’s probably just being in the park playing football or baseball with my dad, in New York City, 21st Street and Second Avenue where I grew up. It conjures up memories of being with my dad and enjoying the sort of simple communication that you can have through a game. I did the same sort of thing with my own son, who was good at playing baseball for a while.
Best day of your life?
There’s no one specific day but in my mind’s eye I can see a beach and my kids. I don’t know if it’s a particular day I’m thinking of; it’s just one of those summer days. It could be on holiday, or it could be in the States; it’s really just that feeling of no structure, summertime and no school for the kids; being in the water and feeling the waves and having to protect them a little and teach them about the water.
Best moment on a TV set?
About two or three years after I started on The X-Files, I did the Larry Sanders Show with my friend Garry Shandling although he wasn’t my friend at the time. He didn’t know me, but I loved his show. The producers told me, “Oh, Gary loves you.” Then I got there and it was clear that he didn’t have any idea who I was, which was fine. We did this scene – half written, half improvised, maybe – and Gary said, “How old are you?” I said, “32” and he said, “What took you so long?” and that felt like a blessing as to me he was the king of a certain kind of comedic performance.
Best Hollywood party?
I didn’t really go to many, especially at the peak of the X-Files years. For five years the show was shot in Vancouver and in many ways, it was a blessing to be out of that world, but I had some interesting, if nerve-racking moments at awards ceremonies. I remember going to the Golden Globes and being sat on the same table as a really good friend of mine, director Bart Freundlich and his wife Julianne Moore. My ex-wife Téa was sitting there, and Téa went to the bathroom, and she came back and said, “Did I miss anything?” I said, “Yeh, they announced my award. I won and you missed the whole thing.” Which was not true at all. I only kept her in the dark for a couple of seconds as it became rapidly apparent that I had no statue.
Best moment of self-realisation?
In many ways we remain children no matter how old we get and in many ways a lot of my reactions were based on childhood stuff; not necessarily something that I am ever going to change, but something to be aware of and keep an eye on. It’s the fine line between realising that a lot of your personality was constructed a long time ago, before you were really smart about these things, or knew about these things. And that that’s the same for everybody – but that’s not an excuse to continue reacting like a child. So, for me, life is this balancing act between honouring that kid and also not letting him drive the bus.
Best personal characteristic?
Perseverance. There have been many occasions when I’ve felt like giving up on everything, but I didn’t. I don’t give up. I guess I gave up trying to be a professional athlete at some point. I loved baseball and basketball and before getting to college I still had secret dreams of going pro.
Best decision?
This is going to sound negative towards education, but to leave graduate school and try to find out what else I wanted to do aside from being an academic. Not to denigrate academics but, for me, that was a hard and good decision although a scary one. I was a dissertation away from my PhD. I had done four years as an undergraduate, nearly four years of graduate work. Eight years towards a certain life; a good third of my life pointing towards a certain goal and then saying, “You know what, I’m gonna go do this thing, where none of that matters.” At the time it felt a little like I was throwing it all away. But in the end I think I’ve honoured those academic years and they also fed me.
Worst childhood memory?
My parents’ divorce. I was 12, which wasn’t a good age – but it’s never a good age. It’s hard to say exactly what the impact was on me, but it was profound. And I think having gone through it, as a parent as well, it’s taught me what I might not have been able to process at the time: it really pulls the rug out of a kid’s life. You can sugar-coat it all you want but it’s a traumatic experience. It’s not the end of anything and it’s not like you can’t recover from it but you do have to acknowledge that the world turned upside down. It’s hard to say how my life would have turned out had it not happened but I think I’m thankful for being hurt. I’m thankful for the wound because that’s what makes you human and makes you an artist. If you can survive it and remain empathetic it makes you aware of other people’s hurt. And without that, I don’t think I’d have anything.
Worst moment of your life?
Telling my kids about getting divorced. I still can’t think about it without feeling terrible. It’s actually a memory that I push out if it comes up. I don’t want to think about it. It happened nearly 10 years ago now, so the wound has healed a little but it’s not my wound; it’s theirs. And that’s why I push it away. I’ll never know it.
Worst moment on a TV or film set?
I wouldn’t want to name the project because I wouldn’t want to hurt the people involved. Probably my feeling of being in the wrong place at the wrong time was more about me than it was about the project or them. But, yeah, and that’s just a terrible, terrible feeling. I’ve certainly had periods of self-doubt and I very nearly got fired on an early job. They gave me dailies to take home to see how bad I was. I wasn’t great but I think I was just young and green. I just needed some more gentle direction.
Worst moment of self-realisation?
I guess I have two self-conceptions. One is that I’m really talented and can do a lot of stuff easily. The other is that I’m not very talented at all and I have to work, work, work hard to do anything. And I believe I’m both of those things. It’s a fight when I’m not working. When I’m working, and I have something to work on; to put my perseverance and hard work into, then I’m healthy and I’m good. When I’m not working, I can be a little on edge. And I know this sounds like a humble brag, but it’s my reality. Obviously, I do a lot of stuff, but I feel lazy. I always feel like I’m not doing enough or working hard enough. Whether it’s in work or life, I always feel like I want to go and rest, to switch off and tune out. I also want to give up half the time, which is why that tendency in myself of perseverance is my greatest trait.
Worst thing anyone has ever said about you?
It would have to be something that I thought was untrue – and there have certainly been plenty of untrue stories written about me. But then, I’m willing to entertain anything. Whatever you say to me, I’ll entertain it for a minute, and I feel like that’s a strong point for me. It’s a painful thing to be that open but whatever is said I’ll consider the source then come up with my own opinion.
Worst decision?
I think even some of my worst decisions have been beneficial. When I took the X-Files job I’d also accepted a small part on a TV movie, and I had to let the director of that project down because the dates of the two projects conflicted. I told my agents and obviously they said, ‘Take the X-Files’, which meant breaking my word, which I wasn’t comfortable with. But, clearly, ultimately my agents’ decision was absolutely correct. If it had been left to me, I would have made the wrong decision.
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hi can i just say that while I haven't been there to read your HK fanfiction, seeing you update nailmaster's folly after so long makes me... hopeful? In the 'I also have wips I haven't touched in years but there might still be space for them one day if I get the gumption' sort of way? so, while I'm not really going to be reading it as I know nothing about HK: thanks for updating nailmaster's folly, so cool to see it.
Hey you're very welcome! I'm very stoked it's giving you hope for your future projects. That's a hope you deserve to have.
Honestly, one of the most important things about art that I wish everyone would, at some point, absorb into their creative process, is that everything is allowed to rest. Sometimes the only thing that will "fix" a problem piece is time and distance, and that time and distance is allowed to be long. You're allowed to drop something for 4 years and randomly decide it's worth your time again, and you should be able to have that process without guilt or judgement.
Not to get on the "internet culture is evil" soapbox, but, the idea of the "grind", that every project must be done at once, from start to finish, in a logical order that others can consume and follow from point A to point Z, is untenable for individual creators, especially creators that are doing it just for fun. You aren't a machine. You aren't a writing board churning out a podcast, movie, tv series, comic book set, etc. You're a person finding joy in making art about something you love. The process can be messy. It can make no sense. It can involve long breaks, or deciding you're done with something entirely. Without guilt or malice, you are allowed to wash your hands of something and then decide to get them dirty with it again when you can stand the texture.
I understand there's sadness in thinking you can't finish something, in not knowing how to fix it immediately, or not being able to conjure the motivation to put to physicality something that makes so much sense in your head. Be disappointed, and grieve it, if you must. But never think it was time wasted. No one has ever walked out of their house in the morning without, at some point or another, looking at the world to see what was there. You're allowed to start a project, walk down the road with it, and realize you'd rather look around.
You can always come back.
#answering asks#anonymous#sorry this is a bit of a rant#but i dunno. its important to me.#i used to feel so much guilt over unfinished stories#tbh nailmaster's folly has been the one fic thats humbled me the most#the amount of times ive put it down and come back#the overall life lesson i learned of trying to write something Big and Interesting while i was depressed and shouldnt be powering through#learning to be a one man fan of something no one else likes [NF never got a lot of comments. i think the most on a chapter is 3]#learning how to self motivate just because you like your own ideas#and learning that you can love something and hate something and still walk away from jy#i dunno. everyone should have one problem project they come back to worry at like an old scar in an inconvenient place#it teaches you its okay to be uncomfortable. youll live.
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Matt sturniolo -little bean
Warnings -swearing,mention of abortion, mention of sex , vomiting use of y/n, arguing .Small age gap (matt 20 and reader 22) silent treatment
Angst/fluff Matt
Author note -thinking of making this into a series so let me know what you all think
Part 1
Word count-2k
I brush the hair out of my face ,as I wake up to a empty house.The house was full of silence as my boyfriend Matt and his triplets brother had left the house already for some business meetings taking place at the ware house.I look at the clock on my phone 10:47am shit thats late for me and im still shattered i dont even feel like ive slept at all. Im awoken from my sleepy daze by my stomach rumbled ,I get up brush my hair quickly and head to the kitchen to get something to eat .
I raid the fridge and cupboards in search for something to eat , I decide to have chopped up lettuce,pickled gherkins and some jolly ranchers .I finish my breakfast and head to the couch to watch some TV ,as I sit down I see a note that's been left on the coffee table it said 'hey baby me Chris and nick have got a few more meetings today then what we thought might be abit later home will bring back some late lunch with us .Matt xxxx'. A smile is present on my face the whole time I read his quick note with my cheeks blushed , Matt's smallest actions can still have a massive effect on me even after being together for over a year now .
I flick through the channels as nothing can satisfy me , I decided to open the YouTube app and put some Sam and Colby on specifically the conjuring from last year's hell week .I'm half way through the video when all of a sudden I feel so nauseous I can feel it building in my stomach like a tornado swirling around inside of me , it starts of slow and the next thing I know I'm running to the nearest bathroom thankfully it's matt and i shared one .I throw the toilet seats up and fall to my knees and close my eyes as the first bit of vomit comes rushing up my throat and out of my mouth .I sit there for the next hour bringing up whats left of this mornings breakfast and last nights dinner.
After minutes of waiting for the sickness to come back .I decided to stand up and reach for my toothbrush and paste ,as I brush my teeth I start to think of anything that could of gave me a bug or if there was a stomach bug going around .After minutes I've came to know conclusion of my sickness when it hits me .....shit Matt and I are usually careful if we don't use a condom we pull out or we get the morning after pill but a while ago I joined the triplets on their 6 million subscribers video .During the night having all the huts to ourselves Matt and I decided to get the hut as far from nick and Chris as possible .It safe to say there was some very animalistic behaviour going on in our tent that night , in the heat of the moment no condom or pull out was used and I could exactly get plan b pill from the gift shop so we just left it and thought well it's not going to happen .
I decide that before I start to get myself worked up in a panic , I'll go to the shop and do a test before the boys get back .Once I feel like I won't be sick again I go and throw some leggings and a jumper on leaving my top to go bra-less as I'm reminded of some achiness in them .I throw some crocs on and grab my car keys as i head out .
*Arrives back from shop*
I walk back into the house and I'm thankful that it's still silent meaning I'm the only one here .This is my first ever pregnancy scare so I'm not expert , I end up buying 7 different tests and some mints to settle my stomach and yet some more gherkins.I wonder around the kitchen with my hands full of tests in search of a cup or container as i dont feel like peeing 6 different times .I decided to keep one unused so i can do it again with matt incase he doesn't believe me .After finding a disposable cup I drink 3 cups of water and walk around the house doing some cleaning while I wait for the water to hit my bladder .I feel a urge to pee and walk to the bathroom, I position the disposable cup where it's supposed to be and let me bladder do it's job I open all the tests and when I'm finished place the 6 sticks into the cup .I start pacing the bathroom but decided that wouldn't be the best thing to do in this situation .So I make my way to the kitchen and put a kettle on figuring that a hot drink may help my nerves while killing the time awaiting the tests.I walk back to the bathroom once then minutes are up and as I pull all the tests out I stand in shock as they all say the same ....I'm pregnant.
Fuck fuck fuck is the only word that is running in my head , what am I going to do ,what am I going to say , what's Matt going to say his career is at its prime right now what will a baby do with this .Fuck their triplets , twins run on my side of the family what if there's more then one baby in there .I hold onto one of the tests in my shaky hands as I pace the bathroom.After minutes of walking around the small white tiled room I decided to hide all the tests and put them in a draw in Matt and my bedroom and I decide to text matt.
Y/n: hey babe was just wondering do you know how long you're gonna be xx
My phone pings instantly telling me that most likely it woul be Matt had texted me back
Matt:yeah not long just grabbing some maccies won't be long everything okay at home ? Xx
Y/n: yeah just got something to talk to you about xx
I avoid my phone until he gets back .I'm startled as I hear the door fling open and just one set of foot steps ."y/n?" I hear his familiar voice Matt is calling after me ."in the living room" I shout back to him .Seconds later he appears looking as perfect as usual "where's Chris and nick?" I ask him "they was fucking around when we was supposed to be signing cards for merch getting sent out so they went back to the warehouse to do their signing , Laura is gonna drop them off later tho .What's this thing you wanna talk about?" I pause with words moving rapidly around my head trying to think of the right way to tell him that I'm now pregnant with his child .I decide that no words are the right words so I take him by the hand and lead him to the bathroom.
His body stills while his eyes move over what the tests all say .The room is silent , too silent."Matt says something " I say breaking the silence ."when did it happen" he says still not taking his eyes off the tests "at the safari , in the hut that night" I respond back to him "fuck" he mutters to himself as he storms out the door .I stand there in silence as my eyes well up with tears.I hear the jingle of Matt's car keys and the door slamming telling me that Matt had left again and gone in his car .I walk into the living room now numb with emotions my hand rests on my lower stomach now knowing that through the layers of skin and muscle is our baby ,my baby the size smaller then a bean in this moment I know that I've got to keep this baby wether Matt wants it or not .
Minutes pass and my nauseous feeling comes over me again as I run to the bathroom again.I spend all the best part of an hour again with my head in the toilet when I stand up again feeling weak at my knees I brush my teeth for the 3rd time today trying to get rid of the vile aftertaste left in my throat .I hear the door go again but i hear 3 set of footsteps this time ,and voices nick ,Chris and matts voice ."what are you gonna do bro?" I hear Chris ask Matt "I don't know"he responds "well you and y/n have gotta talk this out Matt you can't just leave her in the bathroom like you did last time " I hear nick snap at the boys .
"Y/n" I hear nick call out me ."I'm on the bathroom just about to come out" I shout back as I walk into the kitchen .Matt's angry stare softens as he seen my face , I'm now pale and clammy with my skin layered in a thin amount of sweat ."congratulations" Chris says breaking the tension in the room "thank you" I say with a half smile ."so I think you two have gotta talk about this" nick states ."I'm not getting rid of it" I say quickly that being the only thing I'm sure of right now ."I wasn't even going to suggest that" Matt says with anger in his voice .Nick ,places his hand up to Matt in a urge to shush him "calm Matt" he says to him."is it mine ?"matt asks me looking me in the eye "are you fucking kidding me" i say in the exact tone that matt has.Nick and chris take this as a hint and both excuse themselves to different rooms "yeah I'm being real" he says raising his voice , it being full with anger ."you're the only person I've slept with matt you know that" i say to him storming off into our shared room .
*Few hours later*
I hear a knock at the bedroom door hoping that it's Matt ."come in" I shout sounding optimistic.The door opens and nick strides in with a sorry smile on his face "so that was intense" he says as he sits down next to me on the bed "yeah" i agree with him ."so i dont know if this is the right thing to say but im really glad your'e keeping the baby" he says nudging my arm ."yeah i am too , i just hope that matt feels the same " i say smiling properly for the first time today ."alright its getting late so I'll leave you to sleep i heard creating a baby can be tiring "he says with a small laugh.
Just as nick leaves the room Matt enters it , he ignores me acting as if I'm not in the room as he goes to the wardrobe grabbing some spare pillows and duvet he walks back out of the room as I sit in bed listening to him getting comfortable on the sofa .I think to myself how much of a long night I'm in for I can never sleep properly when I'm not with Matt and even worse knowing that he's mad at me .As the thoughts come to my head added with the extra hormones that pregnancy has brought on my eyes start to fill with tears when they fall down my face .I have so many questions running over my head thinking how I'm going to bring up a baby by myself although nicks previous words bring some form of comfort to me .As the clock strike 4 am and im still wide awake and emotional i decide to head to the bathroom and take a calming bath .Im thankful that both nick and chris's rooms are on different levels as I run the tab the sound of water echos through the room .I rid of my clothes and get into the bath now full of bubbles I close my eyes in attempt to relax.
Suddenly my nauseousness creeps up on me again , who ever called morning sickness 'morning' has never experienced this cus it seems to be all throughout the day already .I jump up from the bath with my wet hair sticking to my body as I move quickly to the toilet I throw the lid up and sit on the floor as bile begins to leave my body .I startled as a soft towel is wrapped around my body ,I look up to see Matt crouching next to me with his eyes full of tears himself .His hand rubs circles on my back as I start gagging again ."let it out baby it's okay" he whispers I release bile 3 more times as I pull back and rest my head on Matt's shoulder as he pushes my hair out of my face ."come on let's go to bed and talk " he says so quietly careful not to wake his two brothers up .He stands up and picks me up bridal style still with the towel wrapped around me .He carries me to our bed and uses his foot to close the door as he places me gently on the bed .He goes to our wardrobe and fetches me some shorts and one of his tops , he helps me get dressed as my body is weak from the vomiting.Once I'm dressed I lay in bed as Matt walks over to the other side of the bed and jumps in to bed with me .I sit waiting for him to speak "y/n im sorry for what i said and done earlier i know that you would never cheat on me and id never ask you to get rid of it .Whatever you choose ill support you .Im sorry ive treated you like that when you needed me the most ..." I cut his speech off with a kiss "I know , I know babe and we're going to be fine I want to keep this baby tho" I say to him looking him in his eyes "we're going to be a mommy and daddy" he says to me smiling ."we best tell our parents" I say to him before falling asleep in his arms .
#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#fanfiction#like#chris sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo fanfic#mattsturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo smut#baby#stories#series#part 1#parts#comment#folow4folow
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