#the butch is trans also because i said so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scorchedhearth · 2 years

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actually, here's more trans jason todd thoughts

he had some inkling when he was younger but he really understood his feelings when he came to the manor and had the time and freedom to worry about that and not his survival in the streets

he talked about it with dick first, and he gave him the robin costume to help him feel accepted. robin gives him magic and also the means to express his true self

bruce and alfred helped him transition socially and taught him men things like shaving and dressing up and social code even if he was too young for that yet to make him more confident and self-assured and also feel supported

bruce helped him find his new name, he chose it with his family in mind, something they might have liked too, but also one bruce liked. he wanted all of his loved ones to approve of it

talia helped him transition medically, during his years of training she got him doctors and appointments when he asked for it thanks to her network. she also went with him for surgeries

he's super into his looks now, as a kid he was kinda shy about it without even adding the whole dysphoria thing to the plate (robin hiding in his cape my beloved) but now that he's transitioned and has the body he wants and worked for? shamelessly showing off and appreciating it, to everyone it looks like annoying chad behavior but to the ppl who know he's trans it manages to somehow be endearing how much more comfortable he is now, especially if they knew him before

still annoying when he pauses what he's doing to check out his guns and flex in mirrors and glasses

because he is very private, few people know he's trans and he likes it that way, only those who knew him young (bruce, dick, barbara, alfred, ...) and the ones who need to know now or are close enough for it to be relevant/important to tell

and the self-indulgent one: there's a shop in gotham he goes to for his bikes when they need repair where he hangs out with the butch who owns it. they sit around a beer for gossip and book club from time to time

#the butch is trans also because i said so #i will push my talia & jason agenda. morrison? tld n6? dont know them she collected that boy and made him her son <3 #happy pride or whatever i have my transgender-ising beam ray at the ready and pointing it at my favs #dc #jason todd #i got some sad thoughts too but not today. today we're thriving people

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jemandrr · 3 months

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accidentally browsing a (very niche) female-dominated gaming space and seeing people TEAR into people who want an option to change the player character's pronouns to he/him or they/them without changing anything else because it'd invite men to invade a safe space. For a game purely about dating men. Like, I've been through plenty of female-dominated spaces where queer people and similar-interest straight men are welcome (in this case it'd be bi men but yknow), so it's just this one community, but jeez. The amount of fear that anyone who isn't explicitly a femme female would come in and A. hit on the faceless women there or B. taint the game by making the devs add designs of men who they don't want to date?

I got such a strong terf-y rhetoric from that community, like we can't have anything in common with people who aren't like us going on. All about taking 'our' things. And a lot of people contradicting one other but not trying to find out what the truth is because they have the same conclusion. Like two people saying A>B or B>A and no argument arises and no one shows interest in which is true because both people conclude C.

A lot of people even saying that, likewise, things that appeal to female or queer audiences should NOT be added to mainstream media just like queer content should not be added to female-oriented media. These hard walls around what belongs to who is like...they were raised by toy companies or something.

Like what is (paraphrasing so it isnt searchble) "I would never come into a male dominated community because I feel like I would be invading their safe space, so I don't get why men would want to come here and talk about liking men." At least the people who are scared of sexual abuse are warranted, I've seen tons of abusive language towards people they think are women in male dominated online spaces, but what is this fear of even...sharing interests with men? I know we've been in a new era of gender role enforcement with the tradfem movement, but jeez. And as for these last two points, they both are ones that were contradicted. People also said they do believe in diversity BUT just *this* shouldn't count.

Some people even said it's not fair that they get pushed to be more inclusive when mainstream media never does. Which makes me wonder if they're so deep in their niche 'I only experience content made by and for exclusively straight women' content that they haven't noticed any of the movements in media going on over the last 1.5 decades. Like it's true that we haven't made that much progress, but how do they think that no media gets pressed to increase diversity? The more rigid/right-leaning male audiences of tons of media have been complaining about forced diversity for years in exactly the same way (and sometimes, when it really WAS forced diversity, everyone complains because it's not representing anyone really but yknow). But I guess they wouldn't know that if all of them avoid mainstream media?

Also...what is the fear that gay men like men in a 'wrong' way...(and again, the unargued contradiction being plenty of people saying that they also like media about gay characters, but just they shouldn't make these characters gay)

And like I do get it, in the sense that being marginalized makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand in its own separate way from how being in a privileged class makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand. There's a lot more fear of exploring things different and new because the possible retribution feels/has been higher.

Honestly, this post isn't actually about a couple hundred to low-thousand women in a small community for niche games. Not like, I think it's important, I want to actively make them change. It's not that big a deal, not that surprising in the grand scheme. It's similar rhetoric to things i've seen before (Tradfem/terf). I've seen screenshots of, like, facebook mom groups before. And I've seen way bigger communities be way more open and welcoming, it's just a little outlier.

I'm just writing this because I'm a bit shellshocked because I forget how much that those kinds of people are not just the older, tech-illiterate generations, and not just shallow influencers who will say anything for the clicks (or because someone behind the scenes is funding it), their views behind the camera up in the air. Like I think I cultivate the people I interact with a bit too well. Too many of the people I actually interact with or witness the thoughts of regularly are queer and have flitting relationships with gender and then I remember the other side of the coin has people who think they're being progressive by suggesting that everyone who is different be segregated and therefore safe from each other with no room for intersectionality.

#for the record in other communities talking about the same game i saw several people sharing tips for making androgynous or slightly butch #characters which is the wholesomeness on the other side #ranting into the void #is this one of those situations of like #'the celebrity you call ugly will never see this but the person you know who shares those features will?'#but with 'The men who want to invade your safe spaces will never see this but the he/him butch and other queer people who are otherwise #generally your advocates in political and social spaces will'#also ngl being gay admittedly does make this so much easier #but i cannot imagine having the idea that #categorically #'you and your partner cannot have any interests in common' but so many do #And honestly I would have trouble believing that any women who says they're scared ofplaying or discussing a videogame #with a gnc or gay person- would say that irl they're not a terf and they would let gnc and trans people into the same public bathroom #like i can believe it because people hold lots of contradictory ideas but #if more than 20% of them said it i would think that was legitimately virtue signalling #because while i think trans panic is waaaaay less common than the media thinks #inside a community with those beliefs when they can talk anonymo usly #itd be a tough sell for me. I have to imagine most of those women are the kind who would find out their partner was bi #and start feeling uncomfortable about the state of their relationship- with the way they talk about how men can't enjoy female things like #dating men and such #ALSO there are more women than men #wtf do you mean mainstream media is only for straight men #straight adult men is #like 30-odd percent of the us tops #they got more purchasing power cus of sexism and homophobia and so on but #its so self defeating to think of mainstream media as exclusively the purview of straight men

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glompcat · 1 year

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grumble grumble I left my fav. water bottle at the gym where I had my first boxing lesson today, and now I need to shlep back there tomorrow, when I don't have a class, to get it.

#IT IS HALF AN HOUR AWAY!#grumble grumble #lol also fun moment #while practicing stances I told the coach I was worried I was doing it wrong #because I auto fell into a stance from a high school sport I didn't even realize was still drilled into me #she took one look #laughed #said: 'soccer defense?'#then told me it is basically the same stance which she knows well since she played D in high school as well #anyway my body currently is in a whole lot of pain #in case anyone is wondering #why I went to a gym so far away #when obs there are closer places with lessons etc #this is a gym owned by a trans guy #with queer coaches #specifically meant to be a boxing gym for queer people #and the butch meetup group I am in #does a monthly lesson there

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doberbutts · 5 months

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The problem with the concept that there are trans men who don’t have male privilege is that it seems to imply that there are trans women who DO have it, which is a concept that is widely agreed to be unequivocally transmisogynistic. Any rebuttal for this?

My rebuttal is; I know trans women who have lived in my house and sat on my couch and watched movies and played videogames with me who have told me to my face that they did receive male privilege on a similar incredibly conditional, individual, and situational basis similar to how I am describing for trans men, how it relied on the closet and total stealth, and very aware they had to be of the line they were toeing, and how much worse they are treated now that they are out and transitioning, and how afraid they are to say it because of rabid people online who are looking for any excuse whatsoever to hurt them when they deal with that enough in their everyday lives.

I am forever reminded of this older interview (mid-90s early 2000s I think) of transgender Japanese citizens and this one person who was probably what we would call a trans woman. And, like my butch friend, was trapped in a situation in which there was absolutely zero room to breathe. They were amab, married to a woman with multiple children, working as a businessman to support the family. They said how they always felt like a woman on the inside, and how they knew that could never be a reality for them, so they didn't see much point in pursuing anything because it would break their family apart. The only thing they could do was make various cute needlework girly things during their daily commute to and from work. They had some cover story for their wife that they were buying them from a shop for their daughters or something.

Do you think that this person, who is perceived by everyone around them to be a cis man for several decades, does not benefit from male privilege in any way despite probably not actually being a man? Do you understand what I'm talking about when I say that this is a topic that needs to be discussed with far more delicacy and nuance than "man privilege woman not privilege"?

Do you think that all of the accounts of trans women out there saying "when I came out and started identifying as and passing for a woman, people suddenly started treating me much worse" and "I frequently have to boymode because otherwise my life is too dangerous" aren't discussions of exactly what I'm talking about?

Privilege is a tricky, complicated thing. It's also something bigoted society bestows upon you, and not a moral critique of your own existence. TERFs and MRAs both have poisoned the well, but that's not a reason to completely disregard the much-needed grace that has to be had during these conversations.

Personally I think any trans person's experience with "male privilege" is shakey at best and entirely contingent on a wide number of factors that you can't just point at their gender and say yes or no. I think it's way more complicated than that. And I don't think anyone is lesser for having or not having it, either. Gender is a morally neutral thing. Gender presentation is a morally neutral thing. It is okay to exist. It's okay to have a complicated existence.

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ghelgheli · 1 month

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Well in that case we can also argue that ''trans woman" fonctions as an umbrella gender characterized by a particular adversarial and oppositional relationship to patriarchy: transmisogyny produces trans womanhood, and afab trans women are certainly this.

''Trans woman'' is also an essentialist archetype that some trans women fail to met (e.g those born with a vulva, those who can bear children).

The social reality of the afab transfem can be similar to the one of (conventional) transfemininity if the afab person is perceived (and thus treated) as a transfem..so what about those people ? Aren't they functionally transfem ? Their lived material experience isn't transfem? However similarity can also arises from interesections between racialization, misogyny, or lesbianism, intersexuality, detransition etc, creating experiences that are functionally like or adjacent to trans womanhood. Some afabs can also be ''women by dint of being less than women'' and thus are transfems, this is not exclusive to amab transfems.

the crux of your problem is this sentence: "the social reality of the afab transfem can be similar to the one of (conventional) transfemininity if the afab person is perceived (and thus treated) as a trans fem"

this is the main justification I see being used for claims of transfemininity/trans womanhood/being tma by people who were cafab: people keep mistaking me for a tranny, and that makes me a tranny! this rests on a complete misunderstanding of the systemic nature of transmisogyny. being mistaken for a trans woman, even on the regular, does not put someone in the same totalizing relationship to hegemonic gender, for the simple reason that (as I have now said multiple times) the logic of transmisogyny operates thru birth assignment. the corrective violence of transmisogyny is applied specifically because betraying coercive assignment as male puts a person in a unique degenerate position as far as cisheteropatriarchy is concerned. someone who was cafab will always have their birth assignment as a shield against this, even if there are instances of mistaken identity where it cannot be used in time.

you may retort that sometimes the violence against someone who was cafab proceeds apace despite disclosure of this assignment—perhaps in the case of the cafab butch lesbian facing street violence (thinking of nearby versions of hannah gadsby's story in nannette), or the working class transmasc on T running up against discrimination at the workplace, or, famously, the case of woman athletes, generally Black and sometimes intersex as in the case of Caster Semenya, being banned from sports competitions (I imagine this is one of the examples you're alluding to when you mention intersections). but to equivocate this to transfemininity is itself violent erasure. you would be neglecting that in every case there is a difference between the person under discussion and someone against whom transmisogyny has set its whole machinery.

there are tma masc lesbians, there are working class transfems on T, there are Black trans women for whom participation in sport is yet more complicated. the realities of navigating the legal-medical-social apparatus of gender is multiplied in impossibility for all of them, because birth assignment is the charge laid by transmisogyny to condemn the trans woman. whatever intersection your "afab transfem" sits at, there will always be this difference between them and transfemininity. this is a difference that will be leveraged against the latter, not the former.

if you think you can reskin my argument as you have in this ask and maintain its fit to reality, then you understand neither misogyny nor transmisogyny. transmisogyny against the "afab transfem" is a mistake by the lights of hegemonic gender itself, to be amended (not necessarily into something harmless, but certainly into something different) upon the revelation of birth assignment. meanwhile the misogyny experienced by trans women (including closeted trans women, including the trans girl who does not even know why she is being treated thus!) does not happen by accident, but as part of the logic of (trans)misogyny itself, because trans women fail to be men despite their birth assignment and this demands punishment. there is not an escape-by-disclosure here. in other words, misogyny deliberately makes trans women women! there is no defense the trans woman can mount on the basis of birth assignment, because that is the very event against which her existence is measured.

this is not true of your imagined afab transfem, nor is any further punishment systemically levelled against the "afab transfem" because of their failing to meet the "essentialist archetype" of trans womanhood. on the contrary, the "afab transfem" remains asymmetrically empowered to use transmisogyny against the transfeminine. yes, cafab ppl are not exempt from violent transphobia, but this is not a violence predicated on the same gender-betrayal the transfeminine person embodies. the political distinction between these experiences remains.

a final point: you are correct that some cafabs can be "woman by dint of being less than woman" but I never claimed that this was a unique trait of transfemininity! in fact I made it clear that this is a common condition for many women (ableism, fatphobia, classism, etc. can all degender a woman). what is unique is the role the logic of transmisogyny plays in defining transfemininity, and the specific manner in which it underclasses the transfeminine subject—makes her the kind of person for whom only a certain, highly peripheralized form of existence is permissible.

if you are interested in describing the way the world is (hopefully with intent to change it) then this is not the way to go about that. any careful analysis of the power relations that cisheteropatriarchy uses to facilitate gender-classing in service of the division of labour will make this clear. you can argue whatever you want! you can also be wrong.

#ask answer #why cant i get fun asks instead of this #im answering these bc i think jt would be helpful to have like a library of resposnes dor the inevitable next time #but pls #if i wasnt so deprived of stimulation rn i would probably not be bothering yo answer #hopefully by the end of tomorrow my thumbs will haveba spacebarand moise to caress again

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drdemonprince · 3 months

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I read your newsletter about "transmisandry" today. I'm a trans man and I generally agree with what you said. However, I was wondering how you would classify a particular experience of mine and other trans men I know irl or have seen online.

In short, I find that in some queer spaces, masculine and/or "binary" (meaning, not non-binary) trans men are treated as outsiders and enemies. I imagine some straight-passing queer cis men experience similar.

This prejudice against masculinity has nothing to do with us being trans, and is in no way oppressive, but it seems to me that some people have a hatred/disgust/discomfort/etc. with masculine men, especially if we are proud of our manhood. I sometimes feel excluded in queer or progressive spaces, and like I have to change myself to fit into others' idea of "acceptable" manhood.

I think this tends to emotionally affect trans men in particular because being a man is generally hard-won and joyful for us. Have you experienced prejudice in queer spaces, especially trans spaces, for being transmasculine? And while I don't believe there exists systemic misandry, is this not a form of misandry, just interpersonal?

Thanks, I really appreciate your work.

Hi there, thank you for great question. What you are describing is certainly a very real and troubling dynamic within both queer and feminist spaces, and it's put me off for a very long time. I have sometimes referred to this as "playful 'misandry' feminism", always with "misandry" in quotes because, as we've already established, it's not a real locus of systemic oppression. I have also sometimes in the past likened it to "Men's Tears Coffee Mug" feminism in its performative, self-congratulatory, typically white feminist stance.*

*in the Koa Beck sense of the term. Someone who is not white can be a white feminist.

I was always put off by performative man-hating jokes and the exclusion of men within feminist spaces because, well, I was one, and because it nearly always played out in transmisogynistic ways that were transparent to me, and because I was a major ride-or-die for men who were victims of sexual violence yet were frequently excluded from survivors' spaces (again, because I was one, even before I realized that I was).

There are a lot of troubling effects that happen when feminist women make a big performance out of finding all men to be disgusting and evil and frequently express disinterest in men's feelings or suffering (which used to be way more common in my estimation, around the early 2010's or so it seemed to peak). I was driven away from feminist spaces as a young closeted trans man because I could see such spaces were not for me or for any of the other men that I cared about and needed support. On the inverse side of things, I have spoken to many trans men who said that "playful "misandry"" feminism actively made it harder for them to realize that they were guys. Men were seen as the enemy and inherently evil and destructive and so they felt absolutely disgusting about the possibility of being a man, or feared transitioning would get them seen as a betrayer of the feminist movement.

As you rightly note, it is not just trans guys who get excluded by such dynamics. Cis men who are genuinely avowed feminists can be driven away by such forces, which is especially upsetting in the case of sexual assault survivors and queer men. Trans women and TMA enbies are excluded from feminist and women's spaces because they supposedly "look like" men to these types, and their own feelings of superficial safety rank above the actual data on who is the most at risk structurally (which is trans women). Butches are regarded in some spaces as too aggressive or unacceptably masculine because of it. And people's analysis of gender oppression just overall sucks when they buy into "playful misandry" style feminism because they go around saying shit like "femme people are oppressed by masc folks." what the hell does that mean. Does a cis, gender conforming feminine woman have less structural power than a butch lesbian? I don't think so.

It seems to me that the big problem here is that "playful misandry" feminism is rooted in a deep deep misunderstanding of the structural nature of oppression. Sexism isn't caused by patriarchy and capitalism, it's caused by "men" and so hating men and excluding them is what will fix things. Men as individuals are responsible for sexism and so women should be as detached from them and unsupportive of them as possible. This logic leads to a TERFy place really quickly, and yes, it also really really damages trans men.

My opinion is that it's best to critique this problem as the political failure that it is: a misunderstanding of sexism as individualistic rather than systemic. That's the core issue from which all the problems flow -- from rampant transmisogyny to the exclusion of cis male sexual assault survivors to the feelings of alienation of trans men. Yes sometimes naming the performative nature of "man hating" jokes and the like is helpful because people recognize instantly what that dynamic is when they hear it. But the "misandry" itself is not the core problem -- it's the shitty gender politics and white feminism.

Does that make sense? To be clear, I think it's something trans men get to talk about. I talk about it from my positionality quite a lot really. I don't think "misandry" is ultimately the helpful or clarifying way to name it, but I will sometimes throw around that term with a TON of qualifiers if I'm discussing the specific interpersonal dynamic of women saying that men are evil rapists innately or whatever. But really discussing the broader gender politics failure that leads to those little shitty comments and looks is almost always more helpful. If trans guys and cis guys are feeling excluded from a space due to these dynamics it's almost always the case that trans women, TMA enbies, butch women, and lots of women of color are too.

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genderqueerdykes · 2 months

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i'm struggling a lot with what to label myself. I've always felt a connection with butchness, but my idea of "masculinity" doesn't really seem to gel with the predominant image and fashion.

Part of it is that I'm disabled. I'll never be able to comfortably wear jeans or suits or hard leather men's shoes or workboots. Usually it's just crocs or something soft on the inside. I'm usually just hanging out in a t-shirt and sweatpants. I'm also just a big fan of small accessories like a single earring or a bunch of rings.

It also means my partner has to help me with a lot of things. I wish I could do more "chivalrous" things like helping with heavy objects or fixing things but like. I can't do that. I do try to be a loving and supportive partner, but I mainly do that through cooking or helping them schedule appointments or keep track of things their ADHD makes it hard for them to remember. I feel like this all means I can't really fulfill the butch role?

I flirted with the idea of being a "soft butch" for a while but I was told that it was a fake meme scale thing, like futch. I know a lot of people on here are like "do what you want forever" but I'm just very confused and I specifically feel like I don't have a claim because of my disability.

i wanted to say that i feel you very deeply there, and i wanted to relate to your experience, because i totally get it-

i have to dress for comfort and to accommodate my disabilities, so i get what you're saying. wearing boots is hard for me, i have to wear sneakers/trainers or other shoes that are comfortable while being supportive- that's why in most of my pictures i'm wearing the same shoes, because i can't really deal with a lot of different styles of shoe. being autistic also makes this difficult

i've actually written about how the "chivalrous" stereotype for butches is dangerous and completely leaves out disabled butches, you may want to give it a read and see if it helps you feel a bit better, because you're not alone, that stereotype bugs me deeply-

butches do not have to be strong or "chivalrous," butches are simply masculine queer people. to essentially force butches to be stereotypical cis men is uncomfortable, and it's not fair to the butch. you are allowed to be butch in whatever ways are accessible to you- if you can't align with that stereotype, then break it. you're not meant to fit into a mold! i'm tired of the idea that all butches have to be clones of one another:

butches can do whatever the hell they want!

you're butch no matter how you present or behave because you said you're butch! i hope this helps, take care of yourself!

#asks #answers #butch

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genderkoolaid · 9 months

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It's honestly really validating to read your thoughts on butch identity. I kept myself from fully accepting I might be a gay trans man for a long time because being a butch woman was so integral to my identity (I wept after finishing Stone Butch Blues. It was like being seen for the first time) and I hated that it felt like there was no way I could be both. So I was sort of performing trans man comphet and trying to convince myself I liked women just so I wouldn't lose that word. There's so much gender nuance to being butch that I feel like gets lost when we only focus on the sexuality aspect of it.

"There's so much gender nuance to being butch that I feel like gets lost when we only focus on the sexuality aspect of it." Yes!!!!!!

I came out very young (elementary school) as a lesbian, and cut my long hair to a pixie in the same year. And then shortly after began realizing was I was trans as well. I spent essentially my entire life being visibly queer and visibly queer-masculine a lot of the time. And this affected so much, because I latched onto "butch" extremely young and that became my model for my gender. I never shaved largely because, due to reading about butches, I felt that it was part of my path, even though I also knew it distanced me from others. My sense of masculinity and masculine fashion has always been deeply butch, regardless of my gender. Its such a deep and integral part of me and has been my whole life. I truly feel that I can't not be butch. I don't relate to a lot of "female socialization" both due to being autistic and being visibly queer; I always knew that, while being categorized as "girl," I was also never going to be a "real girl," and everyone knew that. Becoming a butch adult felt more natural than puberty.

Which is why its so annoying that people center butchness on sexuality, and specifically romantic-sexual attraction to femmes!!!! Because while I have, in fact, dated femmes (arguably I dated too many cis femme women who I felt I had to walk on ice around to avoid scaring them with my butch gender), like I said, my butchness is a natural part of me. Being queer is a part of being butch, but the way we talk about butchness makes me feel like people can only view it existing in relation to romance (and femmes). And obviously because of radfeminism, trans men & mascs' unique relationships with butchness have been largely ignored in any way besides "I used to be butch, but now I'm a Normal Straight Man!" & also the general erasure of transmasculinity in lesbian history. Lesbian spaces have always been a haven for trans people, because for a long time in the West, your options were generally "move to a new town and go completely stealth for as long as possible" or "find your local lesbians and be a dyke within a community." There's a reason "butch" has always held so much gender nuance. Radclyffe Hall, who wrote the famous lesbian book The Well of Loneliness, has been argued to have been transmasculine- but the idea that butches may truly call into question the gender binary causes too much anxiety, so we have to constantly re-affirm that butches are above all else women. I'm a firm believer that butch4butch relationships have long been a way for gay trans men to indulge their desire for men within the context of lesbian identity (because all the trans guys are fucking each other and always have been).

Anyways. yeah. let butches exist beyond our sexuality. Understand that "butch" carries so much color and cannot be reduced down to a simple binary concept.

(Also anon, if you haven't, you should read this article about transmasculine comphet wrt gayness).

#please read The Transgender Craze Seducing Our [Sons] btw its so good #m.#ask box

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punkeropercyjackson · 2 months

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A rdfem post got recommended to me because apperantly i hadn't been careful enough(at least i got a free blocklist out of it)and the very first line was so out of pocket stupid even by t/erf standards-Their idea of 'women forcing themselves to be presentable' was fucking acrylic nails.Obviously this is stupid period but acrylics are a fashion statement that was created by and continued and mostly influenced by to this day by BLACK WOMEN.It's a way of expressing ourselves,an art even,it's NEVER been about fitting into men's standards and in fact that's always been the opposite intended effect!!They're about what makes US happy,not anybody else

And that's just the thing rdfam always do-They make everything about men and their hatred of woc,black women especially and EVEN MORE SO TRANS women.It's never been about liberating women,it's about policing us.We can't be kiddy and pastel and bubbly and chaotic and indie and hopeless romantics who want to get the princess treatment,we're doing it for men 'even if we don't know it'(an actual thing one of them said to me on my post explaining that my brand of femininity comes from my kind of autism and their idea of 'real womanhood' was The Handmaiden and i WISH i was a kidding)and as if lesbians and aroace women who're like me in this aspect don't exist and they do and three of them are close friends of mine and have also talked about bullshit this is-And yes,all three of them are also woc,one pakistani and two black

And apperantly,we can't be edgy and rowdy and cocky and bitter and blunt and alt and and butch and uninterested in actively pursuing romance either because then we're 'too much like men and not really women so we might as well stop calling ourselves ones'.If we have brown skin or heavy body hair or big noses or other dark and strong features,we have 'biological faults' or whatever the fuck and they brag about hating men until someone realizes they're not a man but a woman and wanna physically and socially transition to feel like one to their full happiness they want them to be men instead.They sexually harras people,they invalidate mspec women for loving men AND lesbians for not liking women 'correctly' according to them because they love nonbinary women and transfems AND rentlessly mock aroace women for not feeling attraction by calling them losers and they don't even draw the line at kids.They use all kinds of slurs and ableist rethoric and are exactly two tippy toes steps away from being t/radwives

Nobody's more obsessed with ruining womanhood than rdfems except chauvinists and even then,they're just another variant of them that happen to have less political power.You're not an ancient greek goddess in women's history,you're grown ass women obsessed with genitals and gaslighting vulnerable young girls into your minions.You know nothing about girlhood and you won't learn until you get all those boots out of your mouths you're choking so hard on you can't speak anything but bullshit

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orkbutch · 4 months

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i am a butch now but i don’t know whether that’s true or not anymore. i want to take T, but at what point am i actually just a trans man? have you question that line in the sand at all yet?

Oh boy.

I can only talk from my perspective on this, others may differ, and thats because "whats the difference between a butch on T and a trans man" is such a new sociological concept that its basically in the very beginnings of its infancy. its SO new, and neither Butch nor Trans Man nor Trans Masc have secure, well established roots as social identities or concepts. It may seem like they do and it may seem like there are rules or lines that are firm, but when you step back, zoom out, and consider them in the context of broader society (and especially compared to the idea of a Man and Woman), they do not. These are social contructs that are actually very early in their construction, and we are doing the constructing like, right now, within this ask.

That said, I can tell you why I don't identify as a trans man fairly easily: I don't care about men or the idea of a man. "Man" as a static concept is like... I don't know what that is. Its almost alien to me.

Now, to ramble that point out:

I have considered if I'm a man throughout my life. The closest I've been to identifying as a man was when I was in a period in my life when I considered that there was at least an aspect of me that was drawn to Manhood. Also, as I came to be read as a man in my public life, i supposed that in social situations when I was being treated as a man and I didn't correct people because I didn't care to, and I even enjoyed it somewhat and leaned into that role, I was essentially Being a Man (socially). So Man came to be a role I found myself in occasionally, and Manhood came to be a vaguely defined something that was intriguing to me.

But these moments of Man Feeling ended up being more like exceptions that proved the rule. Anyone can feel a bit like a man in the right circumstance, because gender isn't static; its something we can and often do play with, and phase through. I feel like music puts me in some heavily gendered spaces, like Everyone has a part of them thats a woman when they're belting along to "I'm Every Woman", yknow. Anyway.

I didn't feel like a man that much. I didn't feel like a woman that much either. I felt like a butch more frequently, because when I do things that indulged my masculinity, when I'm consumed by my love and attraction to femininity, when I think about the queers that I admire most, I felt butch, and was drawn to butches and interesting queer women. Leslie Feinberg, Frida Kahlo, Nancy Grossman, Patricia Highsmith, leather dykes and femme pro-doms, transgender queens... I've just never been that drawn to the experience of being a man. I've never been interested in men, frankly. Every man I've admired has been very much despite being men. Sufjan Stevens, Clive Barker, David Lynch, David Cronenberg, John Waters... great and usually queer artists whose gender is irrelevant because I like their work. The only man in that list who I have some personal affection for is Sufjan Stevens. He is an angel.

If I'm going to be a gender, its going to be the gender I admire. That I aspire to. I don't aspire to any man. Perhaps I aspire to a kind of body or a kind of masculinity, and sometimes men do that, but thats just a lack of other non-man representations of the thing I like. When I see in butches, it feels like a depiction of Me. Also WOW do I So Not feel like a man when I'm with my lovers. Sometimes I feel a bit like a man when I'm in a certain headspace while domming or if I'm having the rare T4T(masc) dalliance, but I feel very dyky when I'm with femmes. I just don't FEEL manhood. And I don't really care for man. Edit: I will say, there is a kind of Queer Man Masculinity that I definitely admire and aspire to, like that depicted by Tom of Finland or various other usually kinky gay art. But again, I don't see the Man part as important - its the masculinity. Btw, imo, there is no line in the sand as far as transition stuff. I'm very dysphoric about my body and that's never been about how I'm seen by others; it's my comfort in my own skin, and doesn't change my indifference to men or manhood. and that is my butch vs trans man ramble

#ask #trans things

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hazel2468 · 1 year

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Ok also I just gotta...

I see people being like "trans men/transmascs aren't oppressed, people see them as butch lesbians or tomboys! They get a free pass!" and I KNOW I've said this before but like...

In what fucking WORLD. Do you LIVE. Where being a butch woman or a tomboy is a "free pass"?

I spent most of my life as a cis girl and woman. I spent my ENTIRE childhood as a self-described tomboy.

I also spent my entire childhood being fucking TORMENTED for being too "boyish" to "not like a girl". For the most basic innocent things like, to name a few, liking Pokemon, liking ninjas, for wanting to be fucking JANE from Tarzan because she was apparently not REALLY a princess because she wasn't girly enough (Which, I will admit, in hindsight makes me cackle because holy shit). I was picked on by boys and girls, peers and adults alike. My fellow students would physically and verbally harass me. The adults who express "concern" about me not fitting in with the girls enough and ignore the bullying even when it was directly brought up. Anyone who dared to be my friend, regardless of their gender, was tormented for being friends with "a lesbian" and "a tomboy" and, on a few occasions, "a dyke" (a word I didn't know back then).

And when I hit high school? And I started leaning into femininity, in part because I did like it but undeniably because it was what was expected of me if I wanted to take part in the social activities and dating life that everyone else was? The torment turned fucking sexual. Guys would hit on me in the GROSSEST of ways and tell me I should be glad because, as a dyke, I should want to PROVE that I was straight. Girls tortured me in the locker room and tried, on several occasions, to kick me into the guy's locker room because "that's where lesbians should change". Bear in mind that, at the time, I was 100% cis and I was so far in the closet even I had no fucking idea I was queer.

So forgive me if, when I see these fucking transphobes (because that's what you are, when you talk about trans men and transmascs like this) going off about how "afabs" get a "pass" and we aren't "as oppressed" because "no one has an issue with masculine women" it makes me just a little absolutely fucking livid.

#transandrophobia #transphobia #queerphobia #like people who say this come off as ignorant morons as best #and malicious cocknuggets at worst who just hate transsmascs

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notedchampagne · 9 months

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holds gun to your head. what are your the locked tomb gender hcs. i like your art

thank you!! in no particular order:

harrowhark: thats a Thing. being she/her is like a thing that came with being reverend daughter as a job and she refuses to acknowledge gender beyond that- but she would fucking kill it with it/its pronouns lets be real

gideon: butch. thats all. kind of that middle ground between being gnc and transgender in any direction but shes fine being a girl its moreso the focus on being a lesbian. ive seen some top surgery gideon art which i love but thats not my primary hc because i think A) she loves boobs on other girls so much it goes back around to appreciating her own B) im gay

camilla: boygirl. shes transmasc but also still a woman mostly due to nonchalance about the whole thing. shares she/he with palamedes thats my dream

palamedes: sorry i meant girlamedes. girlboy. also like if he was a girl but still a boy, but contrary to cams side its because hes both, like if you overlaid two layers at 50% opacity to make a new color. blue-green. shares she/he with camilla. quinn @thatneoncrisis once said hes soft butch which is so real i adore that

tridentarii: the twins to me are cis (dont leave yet) primarily because i think if i stick to the bit of them being cis white women everything they do is a fucking riot and it simply is the height of all humor. that aside sometimes i do get tired of the bit and corona is so trans woman to me and i know with certainty that when ianthe was in babs body she was doing drag.

naberius: i dont think about him LMFAO

second: i also dont think about the second much due to lack of substance, but i can get behind judy. nonbinary woman to me

fourth: jeannemary baby butch for SURE. thats canon. maybe a she & sir if i think about it. in modern aus gideon will babysit them and immediately clock isaac as a future he/they

fifth: t4t

seventh: dulcie has woman swag. not sure if shes cis i feel as if im intruding if i wonder about it. protesilaus is some guy

eighth: who cares

pash: worlds most beautiful trans woman ever to ME. i love her dearly there needs to be more representation of women just absolutely fucking coated in dirt and motor oil with bad manners if you offer them water. she is not fucking cis that is in the hair

nona: she just decided to be a girl because she thinks girls are pretty and she likes them. hope this makes sense <3 shed fucking adore some neos

john: karkat vantas

#talking back #the locked tomb #tlt meta #tlt

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doberbutts · 4 months

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Scrolling the fandom tag for BES and once again finding longwinded rants about how white trans mascs aren't allowed to find any similarities with themselves in Mizu's story because A: it's racist and B: her story is more for trans fems (and ofc it's not trans fems saying this) and I'm like

So trans mascs of color don't exist and mixed race trans mascs don't exist and there was never a single trans masc that felt caught between womanhood and manhood and felt joy at just being free to be themselves rather adhere tightly to society's gendered expectations? There was never a trans masc that saw themselves in cis women who lived as men or in masculinity even if it was just for safety? You sure about that?

Like I've said before I'm not really offended either way what pronouns someone uses for Mizu because I think any of them in English are varying degrees of incorrect because *Mizu is [half] Japanese living in 1600s Japan and Japanese pronouns are not one-to-one equivilants of English pronouns and 1600s Japanese gender roles are not one-to-one equivilants to modern American gender roles* and *Mizu herself reacts with violent rage when called a woman, while the creators explictly stated that she is a cis woman and exclusively use she/her to talk about her in interviews*

But it is really interesting that non-trans-mascs are so, *so* angry that trans mascs watching this show are seeing themselves in her journey. I think there is something to be stated for people who are not understanding the racial aspect of it- I'm mixed race myself though not with any Japanese blood, so maybe that lets me see a portion of this story more easily than someone who has never been so caught between worlds and identities, but also like. Japanese trans mascs and trans men exist. I just watched a documentary about being transgender in Japan, I know they're there. Being trans masc is not exclusively a white thing nor is it exclusive to Western gender roles. We've existed, everywhere, as long as gender has. Whether we were explictly called "transgender" or a different word.

I'm neither a woman nor a lesbian but that didn't stop me from seeing myself in almost every butch and stud I've ever met. And those I've talked to about it have said they've seen themselves, in me. We're allowed to have similarities and to share experiences.

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cnjosephs · 11 months

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POLARIS TRANS*

A poem for Pride. Continued under the read more.

As I grew from a little girl to a teenage boy, They said I should call myself trans*, with a star at the end: A star for something unfinished; a star for possibility.

As I grew from a teenage boy to a femme young adult, They said I should call myself trans, with no star at the end: That the star’s sharp points only served to cut and divide.

As I grew from a femme to a gloriously butch dykefag, I thought again about the star of my youth And about all the things it can stand for:

Trans* is for transgender— It’s for language that grows and shifts Like a living being; like a tree; like a child; For Sylvia’s Transgender Action Revolutionaries And for the kids at their high school GSA Walking into the club with their hearts in their hands.

Trans* is for transgressive— It’s for shattering expectations Shattering societies, boundaries, and binaries Like panes of fractured glass; The glass was breaking already, you know, But now we can turn it into a mosaic.

Trans* is for transsexual— It’s for those who pick up an old word That they’ve been told is “outdated” And brush the scorn off of it Like dust off of fine China To display it with pride on the shelf.

Trans* is for transformation— It’s for the little girls who became men, For the little boys who became women, For everyone who became everything, For everyone who became nothing, For everyone who became.

Trans* is for transvestite— It’s for shedding the skin you were forced into Like a snake shedding too-tight scales And growing something that fits you better; Making something new and beautiful, Wearing something beautiful and yours.

Trans* is for transitory— It’s for those of us whose gender shifts Like the phases of the moon; For people who fall asleep a femme fag And wake up a butch dyke And repeat the process again in a week.

Trans* is for tranny— It’s for picking up the stick they beat you with And sharpening it to a spear; Holding it up to defend yourself, To defend your kin, and saying: “You really wanna mess with us?”

Trans* is for those who reject the New Queer Binary— Who answer “Are you transfem or transmasc?” With an annoyed “Neither, actually”; Whose gender is not silence, but absence of noise; For men who are also women, For lesbians who are also gay men; For people so outside the binary That “nonbinary” feels like a chain around their throat; Maybe you can’t be cis and trans But I know you can be cis and trans*, And I know that you can’t draw a line between genders Like the respectable queers pretend you can.

Trans* is for all of us— For boydykes and girlfags, For queens and kings and crossdressers, For masculine women and feminine men, For my oft-excluded intersex darlings; For FTMs who wear suits and MTFs who wear gowns, For MTFs who wear suits and FTMs who wear gowns; For those on hormones and those who eschew them, For those who change their name and those who don’t; For those who want surgery to get a penis or a vagina, And those who want surgery to get both, And those who want surgery to have nothing.

Trans* is for everyone who marked the path we walk on now— It’s for Lili and Dr. Barry, For Roberta and Christine, For Marsha and Sylvia, For Stormé and Miss Major, For Leslie and Lou; And for so many others whose names we do not know Because they were blessed with the safety of privacy Or cursed with the violence of erasure.

If you asked me to name trans-with-a-star I’d tell you to call them Polaris Trans* The gender-variant community’s guiding light.

Trans* tells us where to go— To follow the paths cut by our predecessors, While keeping their drive to explore untrodden ground. To offer our hands for each other: Both to raise each other up when we fall And to fight when we’re under attack.

Trans* tells us who we are— We are faggots and dykes and sissies and queens, We are a bunch of rowdy queers who won’t shut up; We are armed with bottles and glasses, With bats and pens, with guns and paint; We are the people who have only survived Because when nobody would take care of us, When respectable queers treated us like a stain on their flag, We took care of each other.

Trans* tells us who to be— It tells us that we must be so brave and so strong, And so scared and so soft. That we must save our anger for those who hurt us, And not turn it on each other. That we must hold each other accountable for harm, But understand we are all flawed humans, And that mistakes are not unforgivable. That we must not hurt our trans* siblings For daring to be trans* in a way we cannot understand, And that you don’t need to know exactly what stars are made of To love how they shine in the sky.

Historical Notes

The figures referred to in the thirteenth stanza are, in order: Lili Elbe, Dr. James Barry, Roberta Cowell, Christine Jorgensen, Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Stormé DeLarverie, Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, Leslie Feinberg, and Lou Sullivan.

Sylvia Rivera is the same Sylvia mentioned in stanza four. In the 1970s, Sylvia and Marsha founded the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries together. They provided housing and care for homeless gay and trans* youth while working towards broader goals of achieving trans* liberation. Sylvia and Marsha kept their kids fed and housed through funds they raised via sex work.

Sylvia would later say that the death of STAR came at the 1973 Christopher Street Liberation Day Parade, where trans* activists were told they couldn’t speak on stage. Sylvia and drag queen Lee Brewster physically fought their way to the stage and criticized the gay community for abandoning the trans* community after the trans* community had spent years fighting for rights for all of them. Lesbian activist Jean O’Leary verbally attacked them both, claiming that drag was “misogynistic” and “demeaning”, and that trans* people had no place in the gay rights movement. Receiving such a devastating rejection from people Sylvia had considered friends pushed her out of working in activism for many years.

Marsha was tragically murdered in 1992 at the age of 47. Eight years later, in response to the murder of trans woman Amanda Milan, Sylvia resurrected STAR as the Street Transgender Action Revolutionaries. While Marsha and Sylvia were both integral to the initial work of STAR, I refer to it as “Sylvia’s” in the fourth stanza to make it clear I’m referring specifically to the later incarnation, which used “transgender” in their name. You can read more about Sylvia’s life in her essay “Queens in Exile, the Forgotten Ones”, written just before her fiftieth birthday in 2001. The closing paragraphs of the essay are, in my mind, both a profoundly valiant rallying cry and an agonizing indictment of our community’s failures:

Before I die, I will see our community given the respect we deserve. I'll be damned if I'm going to my grave without having the respect this community deserves. I want to go to wherever I go with that in my soul and peacefully say I've finally overcome. Editor's Note: Sylvia died on February 19, 2002, from complications of liver cancer. She was 50 years old.

#transunity #transgender #ftm #mtf #trans*#transsexual #pride #poetry #queer #trans unity #pride month #cn writes

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traeumenvonbuechern · 2 months

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Which books would the Hallowoods characters read?

Happy HFTH season 4 day! I'm so excited for the new episodes, and I want to celebrate by recommending some books I think some of the main characters would love.

Diggory Graves - Unwieldy Creatures

I have a feeling that Diggory might be interested in a nonbinary Frankenstein retelling...

Percy Reed - The Spirit Bares Its Teeth

A transmasc protagonist, ghosts, a t4t love story - Percy would relate to this book so much.

Nikignik - This Is How You Lose the Time War

Even aside from the whole Bigolas Dickolas thing, I think Nikignik would really love this book. It's an epic, complicated, super emotional love story, written in a way that almost feels like poetry - I have a feeling that Nikignik would like that.

Lady Ethel Mallory - Lady Susan

It's short, it's funny, it's a classic, it's from the perspective of the villain and said villain uses the title "lady"? Lady Ethel would love this book.

Riot Maidstone - Gideon the Ninth

It's about a butch lesbian with a sword. That alone would probably convince Riot to read it, but I think she would love the story, too.

Olivier Song - Infinity Alchemist

This book is about an alchemist who is rejected by the magic school he tried so hard to get into, and one of the love interests is genderfluid - Olivier might relate to it a little too much.

Clara Martin - The Grimoire of Grave Fates

It's a murder mystery set at a magic school that moves around the world, and it's told from 18 (!) different perspectives. I think Clara would love reading about all these different types of magic and trying to solve the mystery.

Polly - Good Omens

Polly reminds me so much of Crowley sometimes - to quote this post, they're both "demons sent on a celestial audit of earth and catching more feelings than they signed up for" - so Polly would probably either love or hate Good Omens, no in-between.

Yaretzi - The Salt Grows Heavy

I can't really explain why I think Yaretzi would like this book, but she would. Something about the main character being a murderous mermaid, probably.

Mort - All Systems Red

Mort would definitely want to be friends with Murderbot.

Hector Mendoza and Jonah Duckworth - Silver in the Wood

This is my go-to "Read this if you like Our Flag Means Death" book because the main characters remind me a lot of Stede and Ed, but the book also reminds me so much of Hector and Jonah, especially with the magical sentient forest setting.

Zelda Duckworth - The Remarkable Retirement of Edna Fisher

This book is about a 83-year-old Chosen One who has to save the world armed with nothing but gumption and knitting needles - I think Zelda would enjoy that.

Mx. Morrell - What Moves the Dead

I think a fungal horror book with a nonbinary protagonist would be perfect for Mx. Morrell.

Danielle O'Hara - Pet

Pet is about a trans girl who has to reconsider everything she's been taught and save her friend with the help of a terrifying creature - everyone should read this book, but I think Danielle would especially like it.

Book titles:

Diggory Graves: Unwieldy Creatures by Addie Tsai

Percy Reed: The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White

Nikignik: This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Lady Ethel Mallory: Lady Susan by Jane Austen

Riot Maidstone: Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Olivier Song: Infinity Alchemist by Kacen Callender

Clara Martin: The Grimoire of Grave Fates, edited by Hanna Alkaf and Margaret Owen

Polly: Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Yaretzi: The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

Mort: All Systems Red by Martha Wells

Hector Mendoza and Jonah Duckworth: Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh

Zelda Duckworth: The Remarkable Retirement of Edna Fisher by E.M. Anderson

Mx. Morrell: What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher

Danielle O'Hara: Pet by Akwaeke Emezi

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findingoblivion · 6 months

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Hello everyone.

I'm finally writing out a new pinned post, I feel like it's at least somewhat time. I haven't and probably won't ever move on but I've gotten a lot more interaction lately and myself have interacted a lot more so I think this is both needed and good to have.

Anyways,

I'm Anna! I'm pretty Butch (look pretty masc but I don't really identify as that), 28 (birthday is August 24th) and I'm primarily a shiny transfem (aka a dom/top and yes I stole this) who also just really likes helping people and tries their hardest to be nice. I have a LOT of kinks, and very few things are off limits to me.

Note that I don't like being called cute or a cutie but it's generally fine, I'll just turn it back on you. I'd also ask that you not reblog my personal or vent posts, which I generally try and tag with personal or vent.

Other things I generally don't like bringing to this blog are politics and doom scrolling, it's not that I don't pay attention to those things or care about them, but I primarily want this blog to be a place where people don't have to think about those things. I'm just here to chill and be horny, so if you don't bring that vibe it's totally fine, just don't expect much.

I'm pretty much an open book and I greatly enjoy people interacting with me so feel free to ask me anything (I probably have an infodump locked and loaded) or talk to me in the tags or reblogs, I do usually read them (horny bottoms don't think you can escape if you're horny in the tags)

You can call me Anna, Mistress, Queen, Goddess, or probably anything else, but don't call me late for dinner.

Not a full list by any means but my kinks are

Petplay, Dom/Sub, Animalistic, Prey/Predator, Bondage, Marking, Pain (giving), Sadism, Biting, Robots, Corruption, Dolls, cnc, watersports (somewhat), breath control, brat taming, cum play, lactation, praise (giving) and degradation (giving), free use, worship (receiving), and probably all kinds of other stuff I'm not thinking of. Like I said I'm pretty open. I don't really tag my nsfw or kink stuff so I apologize in advance, if you ask I'll try but I will probably forget eventually because ADHD.

If you're a cis man or chaser I'd rather not receive dm's from you because I'm not into either of those things. Not a hard rule but don't expect much unless I know you already. Trans men, agender, non binary, genderfluid, bigender and anyone else who isn't cis are MORE than welcome to interact with me.

My favorite bands are Linkin Park, Rise Against and other similar bands. I really like anything that provokes emotions and thoughts in me or moves me.

My favorite video game of all time is the Nier series, mainly Nier Automata.

My favorite anime (among others) is Naruto (the OG) and Aria: The Animation.

I think that's pretty much it. If you want to be treated like a princess or a slave, you should definitely hit me up. Or even if you just want to experience some kindness and love, I will be happy to give you pets and hugs.

Astolfo is my favorite character of all time and as close to a kin as you can get. I love her and strive to be as much like her as I can.

I also consider myself a Ditto or Vampire for OC purposes mostly.

My discord is annastolfo (previously _astolfo until it was hacked) if you want to add me and are a mutual or we've talked before.

If you read this far, congratulations, you get a headpat! *pats*

#pinned post #blog intro #ditto talks

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