I love the asexual Bruce Wayne agenda and I totally agree with it. What I want to know though is how Bruce (asexual queen that he his) deals with his hormonal teenage boys?
Cause like Bruce never got the sex talk (I mean his parents died when he was young, and the family Buttler is Not giving his former employers son the sex talk) and that’s fine by Bruce. Cause he’s never felt these ‘urges’ that everyone talks about. Honestly, sex is overrated.
But, Batman prepares for everything. And one thing that people ALWAYS stress about parenting is having to give your kids the sex talk.
I just really want to know about the hijinks like;
Bruce: *Standing forlornly in front of a ‘Sex Ed’ PowerPoint* So, I understand that you probably have no desire for these… urges. That everyone talks about. But the parenting book (and society) decrees that to be a good parent, I need to give my children a proper education on sex.
Dick: *Very much not asexual* Yeah, no thanks dad this really helps!
Bruce: *Bewildered* How???
although the idea of bruce uncomfortably giving his version of a 'talk' is amusing, i don't think he'd give one at all. none of the boys would really give him any reason to, until he gets to tim at least (he's like, the only one i haven't fully projected my asexual agenda onto at this point).
dick's always been very responsible, so when he starts dating, maaaaybe bruce has like, a single thought contemplating whether or not to sit him down, but i think he'd get off with a "you know that you should always treat a woman right, yeah?" whether dick's actually dating women is up for debate but you get the point and a pat on the back. i believe that bruce operates predominantly under the 'if they have questions, they'll ask' mindset, so he trusts that if dick needs an answer to something, he'll come to bruce. (or just source an answer elsewhere)
i do also think that if anything, alfred would be the one to pull bruce up and ask if he'd adequately informed the boys of things 'one on one' (because he KNOWS that he hasn't). and even then, if bruce were to actually sit dick down, he wouldn't get so far as an introduction spent dancing around the topic because bruce is himself, mortified, before dick stops him and says that he doesn't have to give him this talk, because "wally already did" (much to bruce's disapproval).
as for jason, dying isn't great for a guy's love life. as i pretty much said previously, i don't think bruce would approach anything until it was absolutely relevant (when the boys are already in a relationship). so jason not getting a chance to really date before he died, means that bruce never had the opportunity to talk to him about it. i also believe he'd assume that jason already knows, with the crude jokes he makes, and the kind of people he grew up around on the streets. and obviously, by the time he comes back as red hood, he's too old to 'not know' and it's just presumed he knows his stuff.
i think tim might cause him a little bit (a lot) of trouble though. it definitely scares the shit out of bruce when he finds out about steph getting pregnant by her ex. it prompts him to fling fully into action mode to prevent tim ever being in that situation. that'd be the first time he's properly spoken to one of his kids about it, lots of emphasis on protection and what NOT to do.
however for any other talk pre-steph, i really do think he'd try to palm off the responsibility onto dick (he's very thankful that he's got kids old enough to do it for him), asking him to talk to tim. bruce would probably pull out all the cards "i'm too old" "he'd think it was less weird coming from you" "i don't know what you kids get up to, he's better off hearing it from someone who he can relate to" "i don't want to traumatise the kid" etc etc.
i do think the whole steph situation would be a bit of a reality-check for bruce though, and he'd have the realisation "that could have been any one of the kids" and he would be on his toes for a bit. especially with the amount of girls tim is rumoured to have relations with. him getting with bernard would be a big relief for everyone bruce i think.
once again when he gets with bernard, bruce is 100% palming off the responsibility of having that talk, onto one of his other kids. most likely jason. this is getting super far into my own personal headcanon territory, but literally none of them are straight to me, and i think jason would be the most 'comfortably' gay (mostly just his lack of care about the subject, being percieved as open-ness). bruce would 100% ask dick to talk to tim if it weren't for how private he tends to be with his love life in adulthood. (even getting him to just have the general 'talk' with tim was pushing it)
i don't think he'd ever talk with damian, the league definitely taught him (although objectively). i do think out of all the kids, he'd be the one to have questions though, mainly about the romantic aspect of relationships, as he struggles to wrap his head around the concept of 'love', (which really tests bruce's parenting abilities) i do think dick (having the bond he does with damian) would go out of his way to have a talk with him as he got older though.
as for cass, i don't think she would have ever been taught, with her irregular upbringing, as well as not going to regular school and all. but girls are new in the batfamily, and bruce doesn't want to touch that conversation with a ten-foot pole, so he calls diana in to do it for him.
final note, i also really do think a large contributing factor to bruce most likely never approaching the subject out of his own free will is just how private they all tend to be with their love lives. like i can see dick telling bruce that he's dating someone (as a teenager), but apart from a name and how he knows them, he's not really giving much else away. jason on the other hand just completely leaves it up for everyone else to figure out on their own (it lives entirely in my head that he's like this with his family, but is super close with his partner's family, which is a shock to everyone). if anything, tim's the only one who ever wants people to know about his relationships, for them to 'meet the parents' (bruce) etc etc. it probably all stems from bruce himself being a pretty secretive guy.
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11. someone's a masochist and no one is surprised for the WIP ask thing! ✨
LOL thank you!
So this one isn't very far into the actual writing process yet. More planning. But it's basically Jancy Explores Kink Together, sometime in the future.
(I guess warning for discussion of BDSM?)
Jonathan probably has kind of a complicated relationship with pain, for a number of reasons that I won't get into (you all know them). So while I'm intrigued on his behalf by the possibilities of pure sensation play and sometimes a spanking or some other kind of painplay just feels good for physiological reasons uncomplicated by psychology... well, look, maybe that boy wants to control when the pain happens, on his terms, and learn to trust his body and feel his feelings and not stuff it down. Make peace with it. Maybe he wants to be treated gently and touched sweetly and then occasionally let someone whom he loves and trusts and would never fear push him just far enough to the edge of sensation that it's too intense not to tear up a little. And then soothe him and tell him he's a good boy and he did so great and she loves him so much. You know?
Nancy, for her part, I think would enjoy getting to do that. Nancy can have a little loving, conscientious, and very responsibly enacted sadism, as a treat. I think she's got some masochism in there, too, and probably more than Jonathan, if I'm being honest. But there's no way she'd ask Jonathan to do that for her, even if he offered. She knows him too well. So she's fine exploring this side of it. And I suppose I can let Nancy try the Clover clamps and heavy impact play with someone else, eventually. Probably not with a dude, though. (Gonna get distracted by queer BDSM thoughts here...)
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