I’ve talked about this before but imagine what it’s like for someone in a country/place where eliot is Top Most Wanted and then your tech guy finds a breakout star baseball player on their visual scanner that looks EXACTLY like spencer. but…there’s no way that’s him, right???
and then the next year it happens again but this time it’s some one hit wonder country singer kenneth crane that has like 78 tween-run fangirl blogs dedicated to him. you see a grainy video of him being chased by a horde of screaming teenage girls and ??? no way Eliot Last Thing You’ll Ever See Spencer is a country singer star just. signing pictures of his face right…?
a few months later your intern shows you footage of an eliot lookalike who is in san lorenzo talking about how there is dog fighting in the presidential palace and you just. sigh. because of course. a scant few days later the political geography of the country changes drastically and damien moreau is imprisoned. …interesting
and then a year of silence goes by. he still shows up as blips on the radar but he must have a good hacker working for him because his tracks on the internet are expertly erased.
every time you ask through interagency channels some random interpol guy talks in (condescending?) riddles at you and it also somehow feels like he’s threatening you
and then your friend who recently got into foreign hockey teams sends you a dropyourgloves video of someone called jacques the bear. you immediately get a headache (and watch some more videos because even you can admit this guy is a good hockey player)
and you know he’s a Bad Guy but it’s been admittedly a bit entertaining seeing what claim to fame he will come upon next. and his most recent actions over the few years make you wonder.
a few months later your phone pings because multiple heads of state evacuated from DC. the reason? eliot spencer was in town. you hear two days later a bioterrorist was taken down by… the report was redacted. your hacker tells you spencer and two teammates were behind the successful operation. which, huh.
not even a full year later it is released that spencer is dead and… you don’t know how to feel.
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Another Headcanon I'll Take to My Grave:
I like to believe that since he's more or less a timeless being, Barbatos actually has a pretty fucked up sense of time-scaling and priorities. If you think about it, giving a mortal being immortality already messes with their head, so just imagine always existing with the ability to know, see, and affect the past, present, and future. At worst, you would completely disassociate from the world around you and maybe even gain a God complex. At best well... existence would be goddamn boring.
I like to imagine that Diavolo had to train Barbs into understanding things like promptness and urgency by cutting him off from his powers the way he did.
Dia: Yes, I would like my tea right now.
Also Dia: No, 4 years is not an appropriate time to wait for tea. No, you can't just wait until you feel like doing it, then have that future you go back and make tea for the present me. I want the present you to go make me some present tea. I'll see you in ten minutes.
Why I like this so much is that really makes Barbs' devotion to his job make sense. It would be the first time in his gazillion years of life where he like... has something to do. Always, consistently, and he can't rely on time travel to cheat-code his way around it. Bonus points that he won't always know what will happen next to boot!
I also like to imagine that though Dia was able to teach Barbs about urgency in day-to-day schedule, he still doesn't quite get it with other aspects of life like self-gratification. He'll always put off taking time for himself and what he wants because even 50 years of waiting is barely an inconvenience to him. He is literally made of time, he'll get to it whenever.
Then enter in the very mortal MC so someone has to sit him down and explain to him that: "No, you shouldn't wait for like 200 years to finally see if you have any feelings for them. In 200 years, they'll be made of dust."
"And also, no you can't just go back in time to kidnap a past MC and bring them to the future if you figure it out 200 years from now. Be reasonable, they are literally in the room next door. Go talk to them."
Meanwhile Barbs:
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