Book!Thranduil really was like:
Thranduil: *catches dwarves, a race his people isn’t that friendly with, trespassing on their land during a celebration* why are y’all infiltrating our territory?
Dwarves: fuck you
Thranduil: alright, imma put you in the time-out corner until you’re ready to talk.
Several days and 1 dragon later
Dwarves: even thought we screwed the humans over, got many of them killed, destroyed their homes, and could have potentially destroyed even more because we awoke a dragon and proceeded to not lift a finger to fight it, we will not share a dime of our treasure with you!
Humans: fuck you give us some money! At this point, we should just kill you and take it all ourselves for all the grief you’ve caused us!
Thranduil: jesus fucking christ-
Thranduil: NO ONE’S KILLING ANYONE FOR MONEY
Thranduil: Let’s calm down, children. We can talk this out like grown adults.
Bilbo: *tries to manage a truce between both sides*
Thranduil: you’re the only one i respect
Gandalf: well-
Thranduil: shut up.
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Snippets for my Clone^2 Au that I thought was funny...
in incorrect quotes style format (Clone^2 = Both my Clone Damian Au and Clone Bruce Danny aus combined)
Snippet 1: Danny and Damian meeting for the first time
Danny, avoiding Damian's katana: I don't wanna know who made you I don't wanna know who made you I don't wanna know who made you
Danny: pleASE STOP TRYING TO STAB ME
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Snippet 2: Danny and Damian meeting (Alternative)
Bby Damian: gets dropped off in the ONE city where his dad's clone is
Danny, internally: damn I don't wanna know who made you
Danny: alright little buddy, lets -- *blocks Damian's sword* please don't stab me -- let's get you something to -- *blocks Damian's sword* please don't stab me -- something to EAT
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Snippet 3: Danny checking out books in the library
Librarian: oh, are you trying to learn arabic, Mister Fenton?
Danny: oh- uh, yeah :) my parents recently,,, took in a foster kid from overseas,,,, but we found out he doesn't know english and he's having a hard time adjusting
Danny, lying (only partially) through his teeth: so I,,, thought,,, maybe it would help him acclimate to his new environment if I learned some arabic :)
Librarian: oh how sweet! let me know if you need any help, i can find you more books
Danny: thank you
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Snippet 4: Damian wants to patrol
Damian: let me come with you on patrol
Danny, 16 year old idiot who fights without powers: uh. no. you are Itty Bitty Child
Damian: comes with anyways
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Snippet 5:
Damian, trying to fight a ghost without a ghost-proof sword:
Danny, catching him and holding him against his chest: *radiating exhaustion* no,,,, no,,,,, not yet,,,,
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Snippet 6: danny has an epiphany
Danny, realizing that he needs to set an example now that Damian is coming with him on patrol: fUCK
Danny: I NEED AN ACTUAL SUIT
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Snippet 7; dynamic duo
Danny: what is it with you and batman and robin????
Damian, silently sweating: ,,,,,,,because they are exemplary partners and i would like to think that us two are the same
Danny, doesnt know identities: ...aww??? thats kinda sweet??? okay :)
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Snippet 8: hypocrite
Damian: dijaal (affectionate)
Danny, on day ?? of solving a cold case after a ghost asked him to: hrbhk - Damian, what are you doing up? it's late, you have school in the morning
Damian, staring at him deadpan: you have school too. you should go to bed
Danny: five min..utes buddy. then i'll go to bed
Damian, grabbing the back of his rolling chair and pushing him to bed: no. now.
danny, with eyebags the size of the marianna trench: ...fine. now.
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Snippet 9: ...the line
Danny, doing homework with Sam and Tucker:
Danny: *has an epiphany* wait. shit
Tucker and Sam: ...?
Danny, his head in his hands: am I Damian's dad or his brother??
Danny: wh- what do we define this???
Tucker: ... you're brothers until its funny? and then you're his dad?
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Snippet 10: learning
Danny: reading a book about learning arabic
Damian, slamming his hand down on the book to get his attention: dijaal, *points to book* kitab
Danny, frowning: what?
Damian, tapping book: kitab
Danny: ..ki..kitab? Kitab? Book?
Damian: Boog...book. *points to table* tawila
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Snippet 11: clone reveal
Damian, later after he knows enough english and months of chilling out: i am a clone.... meant to kill my original
Danny, internally: wow you don't say?
Danny, out loud:..huh. okay. thanks for telling me, uh, same here. except that last part
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Dijaal = imposter
Damian is affectionately calling Danny an imposter because danny is a clone of bruce :)
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