#that it would be an insult because their relationship is already mutually beneficial and now your taking so much more that they are now
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@gecko-in-a-can THIS ABSOLUTELY
Resentment is such a big part of Benny’s motives towards House, feeling he’s underserving to rule and shouldn’t have the right to keep the title of Vegas just because he claimed it first long ago. Say what you will, Benny puts the effort in, through honest and dishonest work albeit, but he puts in the effort. Not saying House didn’t but House had the luxury of having a lot of that effort done before the war and subordinates to do so after. House is untouchable, something everyone wants in the Mojave, if not for the power, but because of the security. House takes that for granted seeing how easy he thinks it is to buy people. Benny, a Mojave native, has to be irate about that seeing how he has seen the heights and slums of both lives.
Also with the AIs it’s so telling because in a lot of ways, Yes Man has more autonomy than House’s major personality securitrons. Yeah, Yes Man has to be helpful but he’s aware and able to be snarky and coy. Benny has an issue with not being listened to but that’s the only perimeter Yes Man needs to act on. He can’t condescend but lord you can tell when he wants to. House’s AIs serves specific and highly detailed functions but are confined to act in accordance. They are subservient to a T and are extensions of House while Yes Man really is a creation that adapts further, hence his desire for the assertive upgrade. Benny made something, or at least was okay with a helper, that can progress for itself. House made things that replicate or facilitate an era of the past and don’t hold the power to contest it.
#for all the focus on Vegas Vegas itself in the game is not discussed enough#like I want to know more about the families relationships with each other#how Tommy and swank really feel#a meeting with all the heads of the casinos must be a major cat fight let’s talk about how like fiends are just right outside????#but let’s talk about the favoritism house has to the tops and how the other families must resent that only for the chairmen to be like#these high strung former warrior nomads cause they got big brother right on their asses cause boss man is his special boy#like no one but swank and the chairmen really complain about house in the strip so the chairmen have to have a unique perspective#but back to Benny and house it’s like a weird you owe me thing where house 100 believe Benny and the chairmen are beyond grateful and are#down to do whatever he says cause it’s like he controls your basic needs now and the culture of the boot riders is one of pride and honor#and by extension helping your own and houses capitalist ideology is alien and isolating to them socially#that it would be an insult because their relationship is already mutually beneficial and now your taking so much more that they are now#getting less than what house is giving#enough tag talking I should focus on another post but first i need to brainstorm#fallout new vegas#fallout#benny gecko#robert edwin house#mr house fnv#Benny fnv#rebloggin#gecko-in-a-can
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Scaramouche general SFW + NSFW headcanons
Author’s note(s): these have been sitting in my drafts for a month so this is written before 3.2
Warning(s):nsfw and a bit of dark
SFW
At first, the relationship would start out cold
Your relationship was purely beneficial and somewhat transactional for each other’s sake
his constant rude behaviour can be difficult to get over and Scaramouche can be quite annoying to be with
so you better be ready for a lot of vulgar insults coming from him
but as time goes on,
it seems that you both started to actually fall in love with each other despite what you guys told to one and other
“This relationship is nothing but for my own benefit. Don’t think you are remotely close to me. I suggest you stay out of my way before things turn uglier,” He states with a cold face and with a snappy voice.
once he realizes that he has fallen for you,
he is in complete denial of his feelings towards you
how could he, ever fall for someone so foolish, so naïve, so easy to break?
you’ll realize that he tried to become more distant but ultimately failed after only wanting you more, craving your gaze, your touch, and love.
Vows to never be the first to confess because of his big ego and his superiority complex smh
except when he does after saving you from a life or death situation
when you tell him that the feeling is mutual,
he will bring you on small hang out sessions that are considered dates to him (since he cannot afford to go out because of his high ranking in the fatui) but these hang out sessions aren’t for long as he has work to do
Dates with him aren’t like the usual ‘fancy dinner date at an expensive restaurant’ or ‘carnival date’, etc…
he thinks that it isn’t necessary, since you are already having fun with him with a low risk of being caught, so, why the need to switch it to something that you might find stressful and have a higher risk rate of being caught? It just doesn’t make sense to him, plus, he enjoys the comfort of somewhere with just the two of you guys.
When he can, he would take you outside to rural places/where the population is low to go to the beach, night walks (if that’s what you want), etc…
every moment spent with you feels much different from when he spends his time by himself but will never bring it to himself to admit it to you
after lots of time has passed and you guys have gotten to know each other, he will ask you:
“Will you promise me that you’ll be with me forever and never leave me?”
Wether you accept it or not is your choice
-> you promise him that you will be with him forever and vow to never leave him,
he quickly embraces you tightly (actually showing vulnerability) and, at the corner of your eye, you can see, a slight tear falling down as he hugs you firmly
-> you tell him that you cannot promise him that
he questions why not.
you tell him that you are mortal and will eventually fade away and succumb to death and will have to leave him
this made him enraged and saddened at the same time.
he then parts ways with you (for now) and you could hear him murmur under his breath:
“I’m sorry.”
before he abruptly leaves you
let’s just assume that everything was sorted and you guys are on good terms and is now together
now that you are with him, there is no such thing as ‘breaking up’ or turning back
I feel like he’d almost never be home and will input restrictions for going outside
he’d still bring you to small hangout sessions
(but him as a harbinger means that he has lots of duties and doesn’t have a lot of time to spend with you)
he’d probably put restrictions like: “you can leave at (…) but you have to be back at (…).” And “Don’t speak of anything important and just do small talk in order to avoid drawing too much attention. You wouldn’t want to get yourself tortured and killed, would you now?”
after a long day of work, he would just like to cuddle and hold you but would fail absolutely miserably at expressing that desire
he is actually pretty observant considering his attitude.
if you ever get hurt or got hurt, he would notice that pretty quickly
And if someone deliberately hurt you, rest assured you won’t be seeing them ever again
NSFW
probably hates dirty talk
But definitely has a praise kink
he lives to hear your pretty moans that comes out of your mouth
the way your face is when giving him head, it turns him on.
I can see him liking slow and soft sex but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t times where he’s going to be absolutely railing you
He’s belittling you while fucking you roughly, your face down pushed onto the mattress
whenever he is jealous, he’ll fuck the daylight out of you
Scaramouche’s moans are high pitched, soft and kinda squeaky sometimes?? he’ll try and hide his moans though
most of the time he is the dominant one while you are the sub
he wants you to be the one that takes initiative since it makes him feel needed there
uh sorry if this ended abruptly, like I said, I just forgot about these and they’ve just been sitting in my drafts for the past month so this is pretty outdated (written before 3.2 update).
#scaramouche#scaramouche headcanons#scaramouche x reader#kunikuzushi#kunikuzushi x reader#genshin x you#genshin x y/n#genshin headcanons#genshin x reader#genshin scaramouche#genshin imagines#kunikuzushi x y/n#kunikuzushi x you#scaramouche smut#genshin scenarios
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Tentative Relationships
[Originally posted on my Blogger @ https://iconoclastic-narcissism.blogspot.com/ Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 10:35am, lightly edited for clarity.]
After a long phone call with my Aunt Mary and confirmation with Paul, I have come to a breakthrough about my relationship with my grandmother. I just begin to understand that my grandmother superficially did all the right things as a parental figure, but was severely lacking in intimacy. So lacking, that during the seven years I lived with her after my mother died, I never felt like her home was my home, but that I was a guest in her house. I don't mean this in a nasty or negative way, this was/is how I truly felt. I never truly felt welcomed there.
So it makes so much sense that even though I know the tasks of being a dutiful grandson, I never felt the inclination toward those duties due to my feeling uncomfortable at my grandparents house. This dynamic primarily centered around my grandmother, who dominated the relationship between my grandparents. My grandfather always receding to the background, I have never truly got to know the man.
My Aunt Mary had called to report on my grandfather's health issues and to inquire about the last time I had called my grandparents. I was very candid with her that with my grandmother's past behavior that had really debilitated an already tentative relationship, I didn't feel the need to interact with her other in the most passing polite fashion.
I was also clear with my Aunt Mary that calling their house was in essence calling "her" house because if "she" was home even if my grandfather answered the phone he would subsequently hand the phone to her. Something that for years irked me especially if we were in mid-conversation, but I realize that he just defers to her. Which does nothing but keep the distance between me and him, and puts the focus on my interaction with her, which notably after the incident is stilted, tense and uncomfortable.
I let my Aunt Mary know that after I left her house at eighteen years old I never looked back, never asked her for any kind of financial support of any sort. I did request the bonds my mother had left me, but that was money from my mother, not her.
I explained to my Aunt Mary how deeply hurt I was by her statement around the selling of the land issues when she threatened to "write me out of her will". I was insulted by the gesture, because I have never asked for a dime. I didn't even request to go live with her, that was my mother's wishes. And as soon as I made my own money I never looked back.
I concurred with my Aunt that they are not getting any younger, and I was very disappointed that my grandmother chose the route of rudeness, nastiness and disrespect as opposed to respecting the sacristy of our hard worked on relationship. But she made a choice and I know she is not at the age where she is changing and my Aunt agrees she will never admit to any wrong. I am not a child living in her house. I am an adult and I choose the relationships I will have. If the relationship is not one that is mutually beneficially, I frankly can do with out.
[Sixteen years ago, now being estranged from Aunt Mary and her sister being dead, there's not one emotion or inference that I disagree with from this journal entry from the past. I love to see that the clarity of my feelings about the relationship haven't changed and that their consistent. This feels like my truth. Photo by Brown Estate]
#blogger#journal entry#2008#diary#family relationships#estrangement#intimacy#lack of intimacy#interpersonal relationships#looking back#mental health#complicated relationships#intergenerational trauma#grandmother#grandchild#black family
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Night Changes: PART ONE
Jeon Jungkook has spent the last twenty years alone. Single. Solo.
And that’s just the way he likes it. That is, until he meets the supposed love of his life. Suddenly he’s falling over himself at the chance of a real relationship with someone.
The only thing getting in his way? You.
genre: fuckboy!jungkookie, college!jungkookie, romcom, e2l (kinda)
A/N: my attempt at a college kookie story? enjooooy
--
Perhaps it is the universe telling him to stop drinking.
Jeon Jungkook really needs to start listening to the universe, and stop listening to - well to put it bluntly - his penis.
When he wakes up in another stranger’s bed, with a splitting headache, and lipstick marks scattered across his chest, he reckons he should start making better life choices.
The young woman sharing his bed - a girl from the party last night, with legs that go on for miles - rolls over and blinks her eyes open sleepily. She smiles at him.
“Hi Jungkook.”
He racks his brain for her name. Jisoo… Jennie… Lisa… Rose?
He feels bad - he really really does - but what can he do? He was seven tequilas in, when Taehyung convinced him that taking her home would be a good idea.
“Hi…. You.” He finishes lamely, smiling sheepishly.
She blinks again, this time a little more furious. Her eyes narrow after a moment.
“You don’t remember my name, do you?” She purses her stained lips, and Jungkook really does feel awful.
Or maybe that’s just the hangover.
“I uh - maybe. It’s.. Last night’s a little bit grainy for me, to be honest.”
She seems unimpressed, arching a well-groomed brow, “You’re in most of my classes at college, Jeon Jungkook.”
And really that’s when he feels like a complete asshole.
“Shit. I’m sorry,” He tries to place her - he tries so fucking hard - but he knows he doesn’t recognise her, and a worm of guilt starts niggling in the pit of his stomach.
She rolls her eyes and sits up, pressing a hand against her forehead and clicking her tongue, “Whatever. Just get out. Jerk.”
Jungkook feels bad. Seriously, he does.
But he can’t help but share her sentiment.
He scrambles out of bed, fishing around her bedroom floor for the jeans he so carelessly threw off, and the white shirt he’s sure is stained with something he’ll never be able to get rid of. He stumbles into the clothing and turns back towards the nameless woman glaring at him from underneath the covers.
“Do you hate me?”
She rolls her eyes, “Get out of my house, asshole.”
He winces. He knows he deserves that.
“See you soon?”
She shakes her head, and tugs a hand through her unruly hair, “Hopefully not.”
Jungkook bolts out of there like his life depends on it but just as he pulls the front door open, somebody else blocks his way. And suddenly everything in the world shifts, and he feels as though his heart has just split open right down the middle.
Because standing in front of him, holding two bags of groceries, is an absolute angel.
Jungkook thinks - no he’s certain - she’s the most beautiful woman he’s seen in his entire life, and now he understands the songs, and the sonnets and the plays. This is what love at first sight is.
It has to be.
“Oh.” She laughs a little, “Hi.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen, “Hi.”
“You must be Y/N’s guest.”
Y/N. So that’s her name.
“Uh… Yeah.”
Her cheeks flush brightly, “I’m Soomi, Y/N’s roommate.”
“Nice to meet you Y/N’s roommate. I’m Jungkook.”
When she giggles, Jungkook feels like he’s ascended into another plane of existence.
“Well it’s nice to meet you too.” Her eyes lower to his haphazardly buttoned shirt, “Under the circumstances.”
Jungkook feels stupid and wonderful all at the same time, and just as he’s about to do something crazy - like ask for her number, or ask her to marry him, even - somebody clears their throat from behind him.
In a moment, Jungkook remembers exactly where he is. His heart drops.
Shit.
Y/N.
“I see you’ve met the asshole I slept with last night,” Y/N raises a brow and clicks her tongue, “You were just on your way out, Jungkook, weren’t you?”
“I… Uh… Yeah. On my way out.”
Jungkook knows he has no right to feel dejected - after all he was the one who couldn’t remember Y/N’s name in the first place. But he’s sure Soomi might very well be the love of his life, and he can’t possibly just walk out like this, can he?
But when he turns to face Soomi he notices she’s already stepped out of the way for him… And there’s really nothing more he can do.
“Well uh… It was nice to meet you Soomi,” He moves into the hallway and turns to give Y/N a half smile, “See you in class.”
“Like I said.” Y/N pulls a face, “Hopefully not.”
Soomi giggles again and he feels like he’s been shot straight through the heart, “Bye Jungkook!”
The door slams shut in his face, and the moment Jungkook is alone he notices how quickly his heart is racing. Oh god.
He’s in love.
He has to be.
//
“Jungkook. You’re being ridiculous.” Jungkook’s roommate Namjoon rolls his dark eyes, “She is not the “love of your life.” Stop being so dramatic, you sound like Jin.”
Jungkook feels like his heart is about to burst. It’s been less than three hours since he met Soomi and all he can think about is the curve of her smile.
“No. I’m serious, Namjoon. C’mon, when have you ever known me to feel this way about a girl?”
Namjoon sets his mug of coffee to one side and clicks his tongue, “Never. I’ve never known you to feel this way about a girl. Which only further proves my point - you’re being ridiculous.”
“You’re just made of ice,” He comments bitterly, “I’m serious Namjoon. I’m in love.”
“Listen Jungkook you know I usually love to disagree with Namjoon,” This comes from Jungkook’s other roommate Taehyung who is slung across the couch lazily, “But I’ve got to say… This time he’s got a point. You sound like a crazy person.”
“If you saw her you’d know exactly what I mean.”
Namjoon rolls his eyes so hard Jungkook is surprised he doesn’t lose one to the back of his skull.
“It’s a girl Jungkook. A girl you met for all of twenty seconds.”
“She was an angel.”
Taehyung giggles, “You’ve really got it bad huh?”
“My heart hasn’t stopped pounding since I left her.” Jungkook feels himself deflate slightly, “I need to see her again.”
“And how are you going to do that?” Taehyung raises a dark brow, “Surely you don’t have any classes with her, or you would’ve seen her by now.”
“No but… I have classes with Y/N.” Jungkook knows it’s a dumb suggestion.
But he can’t help it. He needs to see Soomi again.
“Y/N as in the girl who you slept with and who’s name you couldn’t remember?” Namjoon scoffs, “Even you can’t be dumb enough to think she’d help you out of the goodness of her heart.”
“No… Maybe not out of the goodness of her heart.” Jungkook agrees, carding a hand through his cherry red locks, “But I can figure out something she wants. Y’know… Mutually beneficial.”
“I hope you’re not talking about your penis,” Taehyung pulls a face.
“Have you not been listening for the past hour Taehyung? I am in love with Soomi - I’m not about to sleep with her roommate...Again. I’m a one woman man.”
Namjoon pushes himself to his feet, “Your only hope is that she’s in love with somebody else. Somebody you could potentially help her seduce.”
Jungkook stands too, “That’s brilliant.”
“What about Hoseok?” Taehyung cocks his head to the side, “Everybody’s in love with Hoseok.”
“Do not drag Hoseok into this Jungkook.” Namjoon gives his friend a pointed look, “I’m serious. He’s still heartbroken over Alexa.”
“Alexis,” Taehyung corrects, “Why can’t you ever bother to get the names of our girlfriends right?”
As Namjoon and Taehyung argue over Namjoon’s inability to remember names correctly, Jungkook starts thinking of all the ways he can convince Y/N to help him with Soomi.
It’ll be a piece of cake.
Or so he hopes.
//
Monday morning rolls around and Jungkook spends practically every minute from the moment he leaves his dorm scouring the campus for Y/N. She isn’t in his first class of the day - or even the second. By his third class of the day he starts to wonder if maybe she’d confused him with someone else.
Maybe there’s another Jeon Jungkook on campus who sleeps with attractive women and forgets their name in the morning. Somebody else is stealing his game.
But then - like a vision from heaven - she walks into his political science class as if she isn’t the key to all his happiness. Her eyes flit across the lecture room and when they land on Jungkook she glares. He wants to sink back against himself but he refuses - instead he smiles widely and gestures for her to sit in the empty seat beside him.
She shakes her head as if he’s crazy (and to be honest, he might be) and instead moves towards the very back, sliding into a seat all on her own.
Jungkook grunts. He can’t really blame her.
Still. Does she really have to make things so difficult?
He grabs his books and shuffles over to where Y/N is sat, engrossed by something on her phone. When he looks closer he realises it's one of those pimple popping compilations on Youtube.
Gross.
Jungkook clears his throat and when she looks up her expression morphs from surprise into annoyance.
“What are you doing?”
“Sitting beside my new friend,” He grins wider, “Y/N.”
Her eyes narrow into slits, “What do you want?”
“To make amends,” Jungkook answers immediately, “I kind of feel like an asshole.”
“You should.” She gives him another look of annoyance, “But I’m also not stupid. You’ve got the hots for Soomi, haven’t you?”
Jungkook feels his stomach drop. Is he that obvious?
“Everyone has the hots for Soomi,” Y/N waves her hand noncommittally and gives him a once over, “Though not everyone has slept with her roommate.”
Jungkook winces. It’s clear Y/N despises him.
“Would it help if I said I was sorry?”
“For forgetting my name or for giving me the worst head of my life?”
The insult sears him. Jungkook may be a little bit of a lady’s man but he’s always been determined to please his lovers. He wishes he could remember any part of their tryst (to prove her wrong, more than anything) but once again he draws a blank.
“I can make it up to you.”
She raises a brow, “I highly doubt that.”
Jungkook opens his mouth to argue with her - before Y/N’s attention is stolen by the figure that has just walked through the double doors of their lecture room. Jungkook follows her gaze and smirks when he realises who she’s staring at.
“So you have the hots for Park Jimin then?”
Y/N’s eyes snap up to meet his and she seems flustered, “What?”
“You just looked at him like he rearranged the stars to spell your name,” Jungkook’s smirk widens, “You like him.”
Y/N looks ready to smack him across the face.
“Shut up.”
“I’m not wrong though, am I?”
When her eyebrows dip into a scowl, Jungkook knows he’s won this battle. He leans towards her, conspiratorially.
“I know Jimin well.”
That’s kind of a bold statement (and kind of a lie.) Jungkook knows of Jimin. He’s on the same dance team as Taehyung and Hoseok - two of Jungkook’s closest friends. That’s enough of an in, isn’t it?
“No you don’t.” She mutters with a roll of her eyes, “I can see where you’re going with this.”
“No seriously. He’s best friends with Kim Taehyung,” Again a slight overstatement, but Jungkook doesn’t correct himself, “And Taehyung is like my brother. We grew up together.”
“So what? You help me out with Jimin and I have to do the same for Soomi?” She scoffs, “Soomi and I are best friends. I don’t want to lie to her.”
“It wouldn’t be lying.” Jungkook’s voice pinches a little, “It’s just helping fate along.”
“Fate?” Y/N’s expression morphs into one of disbelief, “Oh my god. You really do have the hots for her.”
“If cupid himself descended to earth and shot me in the ass with an arrow, I’d feel exactly the same for her. Seriously.”
Y/N seems to contemplate the suggestion. Her eyes move to meet the back of Jimin’s head - where he’s sat in the front row - and she sighs heavily. Jungkook tries to read her face.
Is she softening up to the idea?
“Let’s say I agreed to help you.” Her voice is flat, “How can I be sure Soomi won’t just be another notch on your bedpost?”
Jungkook feels his chest constrict, “I resent that. Just because I have more experience than others doesn’t mean I’m an asshole. I don’t pursue women with the intentions of fucking them over.”
He won’t admit it but that assumption kind of pisses him off.
When Y/N is quiet a moment longer, Jungkook sighs and tugs a hand through his hair.
“If I do fuck her over…. Which I won’t. I give you full permission to start a rumour that my penis is the size of a cocktail sausage. I won’t even deny it.”
Y/N’s eyes widen and Jungkook notices (but doesn’t comment on) a red flush to her neck.
“Alright. Fine. I’ll help you out with Soomi, if you help me out with Jimin.”
Jungkook has to force himself not to punch the air in triumph. Instead he grins - nice and wide - and nudges Y/N playfully, “I think this is the start of a very beautiful friendship.”
She groans.
“I’m already regretting this.”
//
Jungkook sends Y/N a text message the next morning, bright and early. He doesn’t expect a response from her - he assumes she’s more of a night owl than an early bird - but then his phone pings in response and he has to say he’s a little surprised.
Jungkook: good mornin’ y/n… this is cupid calling
Y/N: y’know.. I knew giving you my number was a bad idea
Jungkook: oh c’mon don’t be like that, now that we’re friends you should definitely start warming up to me
Her reply takes a little longer but Jungkook isn’t worried. Despite what she feels towards him, Y/N thinks her only way to Jimin’s heart is through Jungkook. So she’ll just have to put up with it.
Y/N: I just puked in my mouth at the thought of warming up anywhere close to you. Gross
Jungkook smiles at her response.
Jungkook: I think you like me more than you're willing to admit. Anyway we need to get on with our…. Agreement. Want to come round this evening to discuss arrangements? I’ll even throw in some pizza and beer.
Y/N: I only like hawaiian.
Jungkook: Disgusting. You and Namjoon will get on fantastically then. Alright hawaiian it is.
He sends her his address and when she replies with the puking emoji he laughs despite himself.
Maybe she’s not all that bad.
//
“Pineapple on pizza is a cardinal sin.”
Y/N glares at Jungkook as she tucks into her third slice, “Why are you hating?”
“I just - I don’t get it.”
Y/N had arrived at his apartment earlier that evening with a six pack of beer in what Jungkook had assumed was a begrudging olive branch. The two of them had spent the last hour discussing the delicate intricacies of mario kart, and Jungkook had found himself enjoying her company more and more.
He hated to admit it but she was kind of cool.
Only kind of, though.
“You don’t get it because your taste buds are subpar,” She moves her mouth into a small smile and Jungkook almost gasps at the gesture, “Hawaiian is the only acceptable way to eat pizza. Period.”
“Y’know you look much cuter when you smile,” He quips, watching as she chokes on the last piece of crust, “You should do it more often.”
Her eyes narrow into a glare, “I smile at people who bother to remember my name.”
“I thought you’d forgiven me for that. I’m helping you out with Jimin aren’t I?”
Y/N laughs - and Jungkook is surprised at the warmth in her tone, “At a price. Or are you forgetting I’m setting you up with Soomi?”
“Which reminds me,” He scoots closer towards her, pushing the pizza box out of the way, “What’s our plan of action?”
Y/N seems to pause for a moment, her eyes flicking nervously across his face as she tucks some of her hair behind her ear. Jungkook doesn’t comment on her sudden shift in behaviour, but he notices it.
Man. Girls are weird.
“I thought maybe… You could come over one night, to watch a movie or whatever. And you could ask Taehyung and Jimin to join, too.”
Jungkook nods emphatically, “That’s a good plan. Something intimate to really plant those seeds of love.”
Y/N laughs again and he notices the crinkles at the sides of her eyes when she does so. Weird. Why hasn’t he seen those before? Admittedly… It’s kind of adorable.
“Plant those seeds of love,” She pulls a face, “You really are a wordsmith, Jeon Jungkook.”
“Is it any wonder when my major is English lit?”
“Me too,” She cocks her head to one side, hair falling out from behind her ears, “Makes sense why you’re in most of my classes.”
Jungkook feels kind of (very) guilty as memories of their morning together are brought back.
“I really do feel like shit for not remembering you.” He rubs the back of his neck in that universal boy sign for awkwardness, and clicks his tongue, “I wish I had.”
She shrugs, her eyes darkening a moment as she looks away, “It’s alright. I’m kind of used to it to be honest. Always been more of a... Background kind of person.”
Jungkook clucks, like a mother hen disappointed at her chicks, “Hey don’t say that about yourself.”
When Y/N moves her eyes to meet with his own again, Jungkook notices she doesn’t seem angry or bitter. Just resigned.
“But it’s true,” She licks her bottom lip and smiles almost sadly, “Soomi’s always been the centre of attention everywhere we go. And I’ve known her… Forever, really. So it makes sense. Someone always has to take the back seat. I don’t mind it. Suits me just fine.”
Now Jungkook really feels like an asshole. When she was prickly, it was easy to shove everything under the carpet, and pretend that not knowing her name wasn’t sort of horrible.
But now she was being nice, it made everything a hundred times worse.
“I’m sorry Y/N. Really.”
She meets his gaze again and smiles - this time a little lighter, “Don’t worry about it. Now you know who I am… And you’ll never forget it. Not least because I’m the love of your life’s best friend.”
Jungkook feels kind of awful right now, but he knows that apologising again will probably only annoy her. He tucks his guilt somewhere into the back of his mind and smiles widely, trying to ease the mood.
“Right. And I’m the person who is going to help you snag the man of your dreams!”
She laughs at that, taking a final chug of her beer before setting the empty bottle to one side.
“Park Jimin here I come!”
“You’ve got a one way ticket to Bonetown and Jimin is flying first class!”
She laughs louder, this time snorting, “That makes no sense, but I’ll take it.”
They spend the rest of the evening hanging out in a way that feels strangely familiar, and it’s only when Y/N’s head begins to lull to one side that Jungkook realises it’s past three am. And as he orders her an uber home, and insists she takes the final slice of pizza for the journey home, Jungkook realises that Y/N is more than just kind of cute.
She’s kind of great.
//
Later on that week, as Jungkook fills Namjoon and Taehyung in on his progress with Y/N, the former seems less than impressed.
“This is only going to end badly.” Namjoon shakes his head, “Haven’t you ever seen a romantic comedy? Shit like this only ends in tears.”
Jungkook takes a swig from his beer and rolls his eyes, “Have you ever tried to be positive a single day in your life Namjoon? Y/N agreed to help me. It’s progress.”
“But you dragged me into it,” Taehyung seems unimpressed, “And I told you me and Jimin aren’t even that close.”
“Okay so I might have embellished slightly….”
“Slightly? You called us the best of friends,” Taehyung groans at his friend’s stupidity, “I’m not sure Jimin even knows what major I’m taking.”
“This is the most Jungkook problem of all time,” Namjoon guffaws at the situation, “How the hell are you going to sort this out.”
“Tae - I just need you to convince Jimin to come on one date.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes, “I don’t know him that well, Kook. What exactly am I supposed to say?”
“I don’t know but you once convinced your mom those nudes of you that got leaked senior year of high school were actually for an art project,” Jungkook pleads with his friend, “I know you can do this.”
Taehyung laughs at the memory and pulls a face, “If he says no though, there’s not much else I can do.”
“Fine. But at least try.”
Jungkook knows that the universe is working in his favour. It has to be. The moment he laid eyes on Soomi he knew he’d never be happy again without her.
“Alright Kook I’ll try. But I’m not making any promises.”
Jungkook grins, “You’re the best.”
“I know I am,” He leans further back into the couch and grabs a slice of the pizza Namjoon ordered, surreptitiously picking off the pineapple, “Now what are you going to do about Y/N?”
Jungkook raises a brow, “What do you mean?”
“Well you described her as a she-demon,” Namjoon snorts, choking on some of his beer, “How exactly is that going to seduce Jimin?”
“Remember everyone loves him,” Taehyung tacks on - less than helpfully - his smirk growing, “She’s going to have to get in line.”
“Everyone does not love Jimin.”
Taehyung scoffs, “You’re kidding right? I once watched him turn down three girls in one night.”
“Yeah. This girl from my psych class says he’s still heart broken from his ex,” Namjoon seems to be enjoying Jungkook’s predicament a little too much, “Says he won’t even give anyone a chance.”
Jungkook refuses to let his friends’ pessimism get in the way of his elation. He’s one step closer to Soomi, and if Jimin thinks he can be the one to stand in his way he’s got another thing coming.
“I’ll make it work.” He answers with more confidence than he necessarily feels, “Besides, Y/N’s not that bad. In certain lights she might even be considered kind of… Cute. She’s just a little...brash.”
“Could her brashness towards you be due to the fact you forgot her name after an evening of vigorous love making?” Taehyung gives his friend a knowing look, “I mean that would probably even hurt you Jungkook. And you’re the master of not giving a fuck.”
“I apologised.” He says it like that should fix everything, but in the depths of his heart Jungkook knows forgetting her name was kind of (really) shitty, “Besides. If I really do set her up with Jimin and this all works out perfectly she’ll have a lot to thank me for. Might even forgive me.”
Taehyung laughs and Namjoon pulls a face.
“We live in hope.”
“That we do Joon.” Jungkook grins, “That we do.”
//
#bts#bangtan#jungkook#fanfiction#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#imagine#jungkookxreader#smut#angst#fuckboy!jungkook#college!jungkook#e2l
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from Textbook Love drabbles
pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader
genre: drabble(?), smut, college au
synopsis: “She’s too sweet,” Taehyung begins, “too kind, too nice, everything you’re not. You wouldn’t be trying to keep me away from her if you didn’t know that. Are you afraid she’ll like me better?”
warnings: slight angst, arguing, dubcon, mild violence
word count: 4.7k
a/n: ima need yall to submit jk gifs cuz it is taking me TOO long to find a good one 👺 not proofread.
The weekend is fun: students’ two days of temporary rest and catching up on their assignments. Jungkook doesn’t concern himself with the latter, but he does enjoy waking up later in the day and lying down on the grass with his arms crossed under his head, bathing in the sun without any worries. It’s peaceful, thinking thoughts of you with dimmed eyes while the breeze gently wafts past him.
But of course, Taehyung wouldn’t let him just enjoy his day without a hint of irritation. Good things never last anyway. He’s sitting in the middle of the field, a hot spot for relaxation, and feels the soil under his palms while observing his surroundings. Yoongi is with them, munching on a few snacks while scrolling through his phone as it quietly plays music.
“The girl at the party,” Taehyung begins before glancing at Jungkook through his sunglasses, “she was alone when I came back. You weren’t around either; did you cum too soon or something? I saw you two kiss.”
“I left,” Jungkook mumbles without opening his eyes.
“Why?”
“I was bored.”
“And where did you go?” he pries.
“None of your business.”
Taehyung scoffs at his dismissal before averting his gaze elsewhere. “I do have a guess.”
“Don’t start,” Yoongi warns him without looking up. The two best friends usually get into arguments in a matter of seconds daily, and Yoongi just wants to spend his day without having to break up a fight. Just this once, he hopes… but hope doesn’t save him.
“I’m just wondering if you actually went all the way back to campus to fuck another girl, who coincidentally also does your homework.” His tone is cool and collected, but it borders on mocking that usually goes unnoticed. He’s been around these two too long for them to miss, however. Yoongi sighs, dreading the response already.
Jungkook sits up on his elbows with a glare directed towards Taehyung. “How’s your ex holding up, Tae? You think she cheated on another guy yet?”
Neither of the two friends have a filter around them, no consideration for their words as they apathetically insult one another; but Jungkook can go too far, especially by bringing up old wounds.
Taehyung was in a toxic relationship with his first girlfriend of two years, which took a huge toll on his mindset. Constant infidelity, endless forgiving, make up sex and catching her with another man after: a cycle that went on for over 24 months. The concept of love became tainted in his eyes, no longer interacting with the opposite gender if not to get laid, and Jungkook’s commensalistic - rather parasitic - relationship doesn’t disprove his hateful ideology. Love only consists of two people: a host who provides, and the parasite that selfishly takes it all.
But he isn’t over the pain that lasted a year after the break up, which was shamelessly executed by the parasite: his former girlfriend. It took a lot of trust to open up about it to his friends, and it lifted a heavy weight off of his chest. Only this year did he stop thinking about her, until Jungkook asked about her so casually. It stings his heart only for a second, and he scoffs as Yoongi intervenes, “Both of you need to shut the fuck up.”
“If you guys want to talk about my relationships, then don’t get all whiny when I talk about yours.”
Taehyung swallows his pride and confidently answers, “I don’t know, Jungkook. I hear she’s doing well, but no information on her boyfriends. Your turn: what’s going on with that nerd?”
“Elaborate.”
“Are you two dating?” Yoongi asks exhaustedly. They just keep taking every opportunity to annoy each other, and it’s even overwhelming him at this point.
Rolling his neck side to side in thought, Jungkook takes a moment to answer, “No.”
“Bullshit,” Taehyung spits. “You know what? Let’s just move on. I’m sure I could get proper answers from someone else.”
“If you have a death wish, that is,” he warns with a slight seethe before lying back down.
He doesn’t respond and hides a smirk, a couple having a romantic picnic ahead of him from a distance. He watches them for a few seconds before muttering to himself, “It’s not going to be my death.”
Yoongi and Jungkook chill on their own after Taehyung leaves. He’s roaming the campus in hopes of finding that one girl who is always wearing some school skirt and working 24/7 to find out what is so special about her. Jungkook might think he doesn’t notice them interacting, but behind that airhead facade, he’s observant. It’s not that big of a fucking secret either, they’re not deliberately hiding their strangely beneficial friendship or whatever. You stick out like a sore thumb in the yard, though there’s not many people to tell you apart from anyway.
He approaches you rather slowly, inspecting your figure first before meeting you. Your posture is straight and composed, fingers quickly typing away on your keyboard without even looking at them. You look so serious to him, a contrast to the radiant butterflies flying past you in such a bright environment. He wonders if you ever procrastinate or take breaks, and most importantly, how someone that appears so smart has fallen into such an obvious trap set by his best friend of all people.
His hands are in his pockets as he speaks his first words to you. “Hi, I’m Taehyung.”
Your reaction is instant: a quick look at him and you’re already frowning. “I’m Jungkook’s best friend,” he adds in case you’ve seen him around before.
“I don’t know you.” And with that distant reply, you return to your essay. If meeting Jimin has taught you anything, it’s that you can’t trust anyone who claims to know your lover. They are just using it against you…
“Well, shit,” he laughs, “I didn’t realize you were so cold.” Your eyes don’t waver from your screen, so he tries another approach: “Are you the girl Jungkook left the party a few days back for?”
Your ears perk up in his direction, but you don’t show it. But he notices the pause in your taps before you continue typing, and he holds that against you. He takes a seat across from you, and your laptop covers your face from him. “I just wanted to meet the person that’s got him whipped enough to get high and run off to them.” You bite down on a smile and prolong your silence. “I guess I’ll talk to you when you’re not busy.”
He stands up just as you tell him, “Wait, no, I’m not busy.” You close your laptop mid-way before hesitating, but slam it shut nonetheless. “Sorry.”
“You’re good.” He sits back down and clasps his hands on the table. “So what’s going on between you and him? He refuses to tell me, as if you’re his little secret.”
You shyly look down at your flats and twiddle your fingers on your lap. “We’re together… but he is very mysterious.”
It’s a good thing you don’t glance at him to hide your blush, because he’s a little skeptical. He puckers his lips and furrows his brows but controls his expression when you look up. He mentally curses for taking longer than a few seconds to respond; it’s suspicious. “I know right? I don’t know why he’s so reluctant to talk about you. You’re a total sweetheart.”
Approval from Jungkook’s friend: check. Will he like you more if you get along with his friends? The thought excites you, because at least this is someone he likes, unlike Jimin. “Thank you,” you shy a smile. “Um…”
You’re awkward: not Jungkook’s type, Taehyung notes. You’re obviously the host... “So is this a fling, or are you two serious?”
“We’re serious!” you immediately answer. “I love him, and he recently told me he loves me too. He used to kiss me for doing his homework, but now he does it out of nowhere.”
Wow… romantic. He suppresses a chuckle because he doesn’t want to laugh in your face, not when you’re so cute when you talk about him. Your eyes light up with a gleam, a lovesick smile gracing your face and now desperate to befriend him. You look like him when he was supposedly in love. You’re serious about Jungkook, but for how long? Especially when the other side of the relationship is not so committed. It should be mutual: with two hosts.
“Yeah?” he acts interested and raises his sunglasses up to his hair. “How does he act around you?”
“Well,” you start gushing, “he is a little closed off with his emotions.” True. “He doesn’t like me talking to other guys.” Ooh, interesting. “He can’t stand being ignored,” you chuckle. Can he now? “And… he is so cute when he’s jealous. He has this glare whenever I don’t give him enough attention, but he would never admit it. He likes being intimate with me, likes it when I reassure him. He never says it out loud though, I can just tell by looking at him. I’ve never felt this way for anyone, never fell in love with someone until I met Jungkook. I just want to make him happy because he used to look so sad when I watched him from afar.” A hopeless romantic.
Maybe if you didn’t sound so genuine and innocent, he would’ve made fun of you. But he just feels pity for someone who is so giving to someone who gives back so little. You don’t deserve it; don’t deserve to stay up working on so many assignments; don’t deserve to not have any hobbies; don’t deserve to be so unloved. You are pathetic, but it doesn’t turn him off.
Taehyung is a host too.
He clears his throat at the unexpected stirring emotions in his heart, “What do you love about him? Do you like being treated like shit or something?”
“He doesn’t treat me badly! He is like a light switch, you know? He doesn’t know how to act, sometimes sweet and sometimes… a little mean. I love him for his pure heart, and I believe that we are similar in a lot of ways.”
Taehyung can’t contain his snort. Similar? You are opposites. You are similar to him, not Jungkook. He feels… jealous. The pairing is just so ridiculous and flawed, but you’re neither of the two; you are just good. Taehyung can be good too. “So, what’s your Instagram user?”
The lack of commentary and escalation of the topic catches you off guard. It’s a distraction. “I don’t have an account,” you reply in confusion.
“Wow, I’d expect you to cyberstalk Jungkook on there,” he jokes with a laugh.
“He has an Instagram?”
He purses his lips, his grin faltering as he nods. He takes out his phone from his pocket to show you the account, and holds it in your face. Your lips part as you gently take it from him, curiously inspecting the collage of images.
“He plays the guitar?” you ask in awe. You click on each picture to zoom in on them, and your heart jumps upon seeing his selfies while Taehyung hums. He is gorgeous in your eyes, and you want to keep up with his posts in hopes of seeing another selfie. These are hidden gems that Taehyung had the courtesy of providing to you.
“He’s learning,” Taehyung says, “you should sign up and post some pictures as well. You’re really cute.” His cheeky compliment makes you happy; he is basically giving you his blessing!
“Thank you, and you’re right,” you chirp, “I will make an account after I finish this essay. Want to take a picture with me?”
It’s safe to assume that Jungkook wouldn’t mind you talking to his best friend, so why not expand your social circle? You’ll be more involved with his life this way. Taehyung stammers slightly before agreeing. He switches benches to sit next to you while you rummage through your backpack to find your phone. He finds it strangely endearing how you hold it, using your index finger to swipe between apps to find the camera. It almost stings his heart that you’re so old-schooled in a cute way. Once you angle it above you with your arm stretched out to your left, Taehyung appears to be behind you as he lowers his glasses. You smile brightly into the lens while he cutely puckers his lips.
Click.
“Are you wearing perfume?” he asks before he can stop himself. Your scent tickles his nostrils sweetly, and he doesn’t know why he’s noticing so much about you or holding a conversation with a woman without being naked. It’s been a hot minute since Taehyung’s had such a platonic interaction, and it shouldn’t feel this nice. He shouldn’t want to continue it through social media either.
“Yes! Do you smell strawberries? I noticed Jungkook eating them before, so I use just about anything strawberry scented. Lotion, shampoo, shower gel…”
He tunes you out as you gush and focuses on the smooth movement of your lips. You’re too good, and Taehyung knows he isn’t the best person but at least he’s not as bad as Jungkook. I shouldn’t think like this… but am I wrong? He will break your heart. What if it’s the right time to intervene to save you from that misery, and be a friend to both of you? He doesn’t want you to fall apart and be completely crushed right in front of his eyes, not when he just witnessed how childishly happy and naive you are. It wouldn’t be fair to you, nor to the life lesson he was taught years ago.
And he then notices that you're wearing strawberry lip balm.
“Jungkook kis-” -sed someone else before coming to you. You hum and tilt your head at his interruption, waiting for him to finish his sentence. “Jungkook… does love strawberries.”
Though your work ethics are questionable for how exhausting they are, it gets the job done sooner. The moment you’re assigned a task, you do it, regardless of if it’s yours or Jungkook's. Saturday evening and Sunday are free for you, so you spend your time outside after leaving your backpack in your dorm. You think you look silly, taking pictures of anything you find interesting to post on Instagram. You made an account, but it appears like a bot with its empty feed. Jungkook enjoys doing this, so you want to try it as well.
You don’t stray far from campus because you’d easily get lost, and your gallery looks boring to you. The only decent photo you have is with Taehyung, but you want to post a picture with Jungkook before anyone else. You grumble under your breath while walking back to the dormitory building. You look through Jungkook’s posts again as you do so with a smile.
A heavy arm slings over your shoulder and hitches your breath just as the culprit says, “What’s the rush?” He doesn’t even look at you, and you wonder if he recognized you from your clothes after coming up from behind you.
“Jungkookie!” you cheer excitedly. He glances at you and quirks a brow at the nickname. His eyes then trail to your lit up phone and snatches it from you, which you don’t fight against.
“You’re stalking me?” He scrolls through his profile from your phone and smirks before stating, “I didn’t know you had an Insta.” The both of you enter the building with his arm still wrapped around you, which flutters your heart.
“I made one today, since you use it.” He exits his profile to look at yours. You’re in the elevator as you inform, “Taehyung told me.”
A pause, then a click. Jungkook snapped a photo of you when you pressed the button of your floor. “Pretty,” he comments while looking at your candid shot. You’re flattered and also happy that he’s joining your trip to your dorm. He hasn’t said a word of protest and takes the lead in going to your room. “What else?”
“Hm?”
“What else did he tell you?”
You rack your brain to remember anything significant to tell him. It was a long conversation: getting to know each other and more about Jungkook. “He told me you have an Instagram, then asked for my perfume, and then we talked about your love for strawberries-”
“Your perfume? Why was Instagram even brought up?” he presses, stopping in front of your door.
You take out your keycard and shrug while swiping, “He asked for mine.”
The dorm is empty when you enter and sit on the edge of your bed. It’s very hard to not grin when you’re around Jungkook, but he doesn’t seem to care as he looks through your gallery. “Can we take a picture together?” you peep hopefully.
“Of course,” he murmurs absentmindedly, intently staring at your phone. “We’ll take many pictures,” he looks up at you before leveling with the camera, “pose.”
You aren’t very educated on the art of posing per se, so you imitate the peace sign you saw him do with a wide smile and a hand on the bed. He is neutral when he snaps a picture with a shutter.
“I want you to be in it.”
He drags his eyes away from the screen and his blank expression intimidates you. “Whose idea was it for you to make an account?”
“Um… Taehyung, why?” You lay your hands on your lap at the growing tension.
Taehyung went to this extent to get a reaction out of him? Is it possible that he’s this obnoxious? Or perhaps another motive…?
“I-Is he not your friend?”
Jungkook breaks his silence of thoughts with a scoff, “Oh, only the best.” You sigh in relief, though he says it with menace. Taehyung was curious about his relationship, not about your social media. He forcefully pushes you down on the bed and you hold back a gasp as he wraps his finger around your neck in a light chokehold with a thumb on your nether lip. Click. He then lowers his hand to your thigh, hiding half of it under your skirt with a gentle grap. Click.
Your cheeks flush at the compromising photos he’s taking and you nervously ask, “A-Am I going to post these?”
“Shut up.”
You seal your lips shut and he flips you on your stomach, palming your covered ass with your side profile in the frame, and another shutter resounds in the room. “Sit up.” You follow his command and turn around to face him. He pushes your hair to your back and his mouth latches onto your neck. He’s biting you while sucking on your flesh, and you release a breathy moan at the feeling of his tongue swirling on the sensitive skin. It hurts, but you don’t complain and try to make sense of the growing arousal in your lower region. He only pulls away after half a minute and you’re confused by the satisfied smirk on his face while eyeing the result. He angles your jaw to expose your neck better and snaps another photo. “These are all going on your account.”
At your nod of submission, he starts unbuttoning your shirt. “You’re prettier with a mark. My mark.” Your body tingles at the compliment and you help him undress yourself by unbuttoning the ends. “Take off your skirt,” he demands as he slips off his shirt with ease. All of your clothes go off one by one as he does the same, and you don’t have the time to feel shy as his lips collide so roughly with yours that you’re pressed down against the mattress again. You still haven’t gotten the hang of making out, but it doesn’t matter with Jungkook because although it flows naturally, he also takes complete control over you. He’s not gentle, not with the way his teeth clash against yours and tongue leaving trails of saliva all over your mouth. Your toes curl with desire and anticipation, and you tug at his briefs that outline his erection. The feeling of his warm breath on you silences all your thoughts and you can only react on primal instincts.
His crotch brushes against your bare folds, slick with your leaking wetness. Kissing him this passionately always leaves you feeling needy, and it embarrasses you that you get turned on so easily. But you don’t realize that is his intention as he glides his fingers all over your labia, making sure you’re ready to take all of him.
Kissing you this passionately always leaves him feeling horny, and it’s apparent with his cock begging to be taken out of the restraints of his underwear. You don’t know how long you’ve been kissing, but your lips are numb when he pulls away to position himself in your entrance. He doesn’t prepare you, but he doesn’t rush himself either as he painfully slowly enters you. You hold your breath and gawn on your swollen lip, moans catching in your throat and leaving as high-pitched hums. He sighs at the feeling of your pulsating walls. “God… always so tight. Don’t you ever touch yourself?”
He bottoms out and you whimper shakily at how full you are. The fact that he fits you like a puzzle piece convinces you that he’s your forever, your meant to be. Even with your lack of experience with other men, you believe no one can make you feel this dreamy. And to think he’s all yours now… “I-I don’t. I only want to do it with you.”
The atmosphere is so fragile, so romantic. It’s not your delusion this time, because he feels it too and it makes his heartbeat sync with yours: unsteady and rapid. And in the heat of the moment, he reveals, “I think I’m in love with you.”
A whine leaves you, so loud that it can’t be achieved with touch but with his words. It’s the utmost pleasure, and when he realizes what he said, he sets a rushed pace to distract himself from the embarrassment of pouring his feelings. You don’t allow him to forget as you echo, “I’m in love with you too.”
“No, no,” he denies with a shake of his head and it emits more love confessions out of you in a chain of ‘I love you’s, and he grunts, “Stop. Shut up!” He pins your forearms on either side of your head in a bruisening grip and thrusts into you harder. You have no choice but to scream in pleasure, unable to form coherent words when he’s practically fucking your brains out.
His feelings of humiliation translate to his actions: he pushes himself down to the hilt, throbbing with lust but doesn’t chase his high. He doesn’t want you to talk, not when he’s blushing for more than one reason, so he ignores the contraction of his muscles and just fucks you until he can’t anymore, hypnotized by the bounce of your tits.
Maybe it’s a good thing that he’s so desperate, hitting your most sensitive spot with every thrust and making your eyes screw back. Neither of you can think, so loud and reckless until you reach your climax. It’s core shaking, as you cry out his name and tremble with stimulation. He’s never seen this expression on your face, one so twisted in pleasure and looking so erotic. It comes as a surprise and in the form of a punch in the gut as he savours your appearance before cumming inside you with a groan. A slip-up, a mistake, but he doesn’t care as he paints your walls in white, his load filling you up.
And he can’t regret it when he pulls out, because the drizzle of his cum spilling out of your pussy easily becomes his favorite sight. “Shit,” he whispers as more and more drips while you twitch and spasm from your orgasm. You don’t even realize what he’s done, and that makes his chest swell with pride; the most level-headed woman he knows is leaking with his release and stupidly doesn’t spare it a thought. And with that hickey on your neck? “You look fucking gorgeous,” he exhales. A bashful smile stretches across your face with eyes still tightly shut, and you don’t notice him grab your phone on the other side of the bed to take a picture of your stained pussy.
“This one is for me,” he mutters to himself. Click.
After posting the softcore photos on your account and tagging himself in them, as well as a note of a pharmacy’s address across campus with a label written for you to get two separate contraceptives as an emergency and for your next creampie, he leaves your dorm. You fell asleep on him, and though he had wanted to join you, he decided to collect his scrambled thoughts and go to Taehyung’s dorm first. He isn’t livid, but he has a few questions to ask.
He’s playing cards with Yoongi, Taehyung’s roommate, as he patiently waits for his arrival. “What’s wrong about asking for her Instagram, though?” Yoongi asks before drawing out a card of ace. “Isn’t she our friend by association anyway?”
“It’s suspicious,” Jungkook murmurs while inspecting his deck. “Have you ever seen Taehyung with a girl before? As friends? He’s clearly trying to fuck her.”
Yoongi stifles a laugh, “That’s a reach. Besides, you two have shared a girl before. Are you actually dating her?”
Shuffling is heard behind the door until it swings open as Taehyung enters. “Kookie! What are you doing here?” He throws his keycard on his bed before hopping on Yoongi’s to watch their game.
It’s strained, Jungkook notices. His excitement is forced; why? “I came here for you,” he states bluntly. “A little birdie told me you’ve been talking to someone who belongs to me.”
“I didn’t realize she was your diary,” he tries to lighten the mood with a joke. “What’s the deal anyway? You said you weren’t dating her.”
Yoongi collects the deck of cards after Jungkook drops them, and shuffles them while eavesdropping. He’s sitting cross-legged across from Jungkook, and Taehyung is sitting on the edge of the bed next to him with his body turned sideways.
“I also said that unless you have a death wish, don’t talk to her,” he grits. “And asking for her social media? Are you into her now?”
Taehyung merely shrugs. “I thought she was pretty chill. I don’t know why you’re so mad.”
“She obviously means something to him, so I think you should just respect that, Taehyung,” Yoongi voices his thoughts while leafing the cards. Jungkook looks to the side and pokes the inner cheek of his mouth with his tongue but doesn’t argue.
“I think he’s just using her.” Jungkook’s reaction is instant as Taehyung’s nose instantly starts to bleed from the impact of his fist. Yoongi doesn’t look up. He holds a hand over his injury with a hiss and continues, “Really, Kook? A little too much, don’t you think?”
“Less than enough,” Jungkook fumes, “I like her, and she likes me. Just fucking leave it at that.”
“Couple of the year,” Taehyung chuckles mockingly, “I give it two days.” He stands up before Jungkook can hit him again. “Can’t wait to console her after your break-up, maybe she’ll fall in love with me next.”
Jungkook starts chasing him around the room as Taehyung runs without stopping his provocation. “Why so upset Jungkook? Do you see it happening too? I’m already imagining how tight-”
“You should leave, Jungkook.” Neither of them listen to Yoongi, so he yells, “Jungkook, leave!”
A moment of deafening silence passes as both of them pause to catch their breaths. “She’s too sweet,” Taehyung begins, “too kind, too nice, everything you’re not. You wouldn’t be trying to keep me away from her if you didn’t know that. Are you afraid she’ll like me better?”
“Go fuck yourself,” Jungkook spits with a heaving chest. “She’s loyal to me, but I’m sure you’re not familiar with that concept. No wonder your relationships only last one night.” With a final glare, he leaves as told to return to you. The only thing he needs right now is one more ‘I love you’ from you, as much as he hates it. Maybe he’s cruel, but he doesn’t know anyone who isn’t aside from you.
Maybe Taehyung is just as cruel, fantasizing about all the ways he could be better for you before drifting off to sleep with a bandage over his wounded nose. He can just be a friend to both of you… he can be good too…
#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts x reader#bts smut#jeon jungkook#jungkook imagines#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#jjk smut#bts fic#kpop#jungkook fic#jeon jungoook smut
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I got these and more asks regarding the post from last night so I wanted to elaborate and explain some things, and also make another point about the anniversary thing and clarify for anyone confused. After this I promise I'll shut up about this lol sorry
1) yeah please do NOT come after the VAs for any of this, not even the actual developer side either is at fault. This is largely an issue with the PR and marketing and higher up people. It's really awful that some people are harassing people who have no responsibility here. And thanks to the original asker's reply, I feel like I'm really bad at conveying my thoughts so I tend to overexplain lol, but thanks that means a lot.
2) I have seen people confused on this so if you didn't already, you should know that this isn't just about the anniversary so much as the anniversary was a final straw. While Honkai has similar rewards/exchange for irl money as genshin, mihoyo itself has some of the worst in comparison to other gachas from other developers. Games like Arknights, Granblue, Azur Lane, Dragalia Lost, hell even a cutesy casual gacha app like LoveNikki have much better real money to game currency ratios, huge anniversaries where they give out tons of free shit, and much more generous systems (such as Arknights giving free 10 pulls with a lot of events/new characters/etc). All despite being smaller, less profitable games. There's major glaring issues with the game that have gone unresolved for a long time despite people asking over and over to change it. It's a combination of the rewards, general stuff, and mihoyo's refusal to solve certain issues for a long time that has people upset.
In any industry, any company is going to be held to the standards set by the mainstream industry, which is what is happening here. It is natural to hold a company to it's competitors for comparison and expect them to match standards, especially when the company that is lacking is the richer one and could easily meet the standards if they were willing to.
This is especially true for people who put money into the game. Due to the nature of gachas/online games, companies that produce these games are usually very adamant on rewarding players because whales/P2Ws, people who buy welkin and similar stuff, etc keep the game alive. When they do not match the standard of the industry, those people will feel unappreciated and go elsewhere eventually, which means they will not be able to afford much progress, then even F2Ps won't have content, and the game will burn out.
3) I probably should have clarified this last post but, I know review-bombing does seem like a kinda shitty tactic at first and I get that, but the reason people are doing that now is because mihoyo has completely ignored people complaining for months normally, and even now has started to censor and ban people, deleted critical posts, etc. Basically it's clear that mihoyo will just ban and censor criticism until people do something that actually forces them to listen, hence review bombing. Banning/censoring criticism is a really, really bad move for any company, historically speaking, it's insulting to players who keep the company afloat and results in losses. The review bombing + a lot of people uninstalled the app apparently + people who usually pay refusing to do so anymore, all of that hits them to where they can't afford to ignore it when people do it en masse. Because it will cost them money/players.
What people are kinda really upset about, even more than rewards itself, is just the silence and censorship on their end, which is more frustrating than the lack of rewards itself. I did have some sympathy for them up until they started censoring and deleting criticism on their site. At that point they're doing this to themselves by doing that.
4) Also, notably, this has worked with plenty of other game devs. You may remember the disaster that was Fallout 76. Bethesda also responded poorly at first, but spamming bad reviews and horrible coverage for Fallout 76 got Bethesda's attention, and they went the whole nine yards formally acknowledging the complaints and more or less apologizing to the whole world of players at E3 and even gave refunds, which is a very surprisingly humble thing for a company of their level of fame to do. The situation calmed down because people felt listened to, and while Fallout 76 was kinda a lost cause and didn't get fixed, the idea is that the refunds/open and honest communication restored the consumer base's relationship to Bethesda. That was a big blow, but Bethesda was willing to take that hit to maintain the sense of communication and mutual respect/value between players and devs.
In contrast, with mihoyo, what most people have been trying to beg/bargain for for an anniversary rewards is a free permanent banner 5 star, which would cost mihoyo essentially literally nothing.
So far they have responded by banning people for literal years on hoyolab, deleting posts, banning people from various social platforms etc, for criticism. Even putting whether or not that's ok aside, it's very unusual and not how game companies usually handle these things, and can only end badly for them.
Also mihoyo has had time to fix this -- it's not like Fallout 76 where they released the game and then the backlash came very suddenly and they had to scramble to prepare a response/plan and needed time. People have been complaining about these rewards for well over a week, so they could have easily fixed it by now if they had any intention of listening to people's complaints, especially considering the proposed fix of a single free permanent 5 star would be very simple and quick to implement.
5) also? it's extra unfortunate and really a marketing team issue bc they could have *profited* from giving more, if they opened rewards to new players as most gachas do. Genshin is incredibly popular right now, to the extent that a lot of people in the gaming/weeb sphere who don't play it, but still know of it, and even know a bit about it.
If you were someone who had never played genshin but had been considering downloading it for a long time, but just kept putting it off or forgetting, and heard "hey join now and you get free Diluc/Keqing," that would have convinced a lot of people to go ahead and join, and they would inevitably get sucked into the game and bring mhy profit. So it's a little strange imo that they chose not to do that, it would have been beneficial to them.
6) also, be aware that the glider we're now getting was supposed to be paid originally. Releasing it free now is damage control. It's also, well, a glider. Again, while it is pretty, it's paltry in comparison to the industry norm and does not have much use to most people.
Finally, criticizing all of this/the game/mihoyo does not mean people hate the game. I do see some people lashing out in defense of mihoyo and I get that bc they produce something we all really like. I really really do not want to see genshin become "that one game that was super popular for a year or so and then died" -- that's why people want improvements, because if improvements aren't made, that's where it's headed. What people are asking for right now is stuff that is very easily in mihoyo's capability and would not cost them much of anything. It would be one thing to ask them for something that would cut their profits or take time to develop, but that's not what's happening. People are asking for very little in the scope of their capabilities/the norm.
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Zigi PR Relationship Analysis
Firstly, I don’t think many people are aware of just how often fake relationships occur in the entertainment industry. They happen all of the time. And it isn’t a new thing, either. It dates all the way back to the early 20th century and what was known as Lavender Marriages, where men would marry women to hide the fact that they were gay. Although the practice has evolved since then, as it’s not necessarily about bearding anymore as it is about attracting attention, whether that be for a movie/tv show/musician/model and create hype around their relationship.
Okay, *cracks knuckles*, onto Zayn and Gigi. Zayn had a lot of people against him for two reasons; abruptly leaving the band and the mess of the end of an engagement to one Perrie Edwards (I haven’t heard that name in a while, LOL). He wanted to release solo music, but because so many people were angry at him he needed a way to distract them, and what better way to do that than a new relationship with an up and coming model who connections to the Karshian/Jenner clan?
A Hollywood publicist who admitted to producing these kinds of relationships had this to say about one of his clients due to a movie that didn’t do so well:
“It was more of a mutual agreement between the agents and we had a male who actually had a movie coming out and it was getting a lot of bad reviews and slack and they wanted to take the negativity of the movie away and make it more about him”
Sound familiar at all? Try swapping at “movie” with “music” and “negativity of the movie” with “recent fandom drama” and bam! You have Zayn Malik circa 2015.
This wasn’t just beneficial to Zayn, either. Hardly anyone outside the US knew who Hadid was, and she had had PR relationships in the past that weren’t all that successful (Joe Jonas and Cody Simpson), so having someone like Zayn who was known world wide thanks to his success with 1D, this would have been a no brainer. And it worked, incredibly well. Everyone was talking about the new up and coming couple and this brought a lot of attention Zayn’s first music video as a solo artist and people outside the fashion realm began paying attention to her. Mission successful.
There’s a lot more I could say about this couple that definitely raises eyebrows (like the fact that she has pulled similar stunts with Cody in the past, both starring in his music video and couple photo shoots), and if you’d like to go into it, feel free to message me or browse my zigi is fake tag. Or better yet, visit some of the many other ziam accounts that go into a lot more detail than I have in the past. I recommend @yaz-the-spaz and @somewhereisaplacethatziamknow off the top of my head. But I hope no one goes over there to be rude and disrespectful, because honestly, what’s the point? If you’re trying to change someone’s mind, you’re not going to do it by insulting them and not bringing anything of substance to the conversation. If you ask politely, I would be more than happy to answer, as I am doing here.
As for your point in regards to how I can look up to someone who would part take in such a stunt I have two responses; he doesn’t like doing it, and he doesn’t have a choice in the matter - that’s just how the industry works. If you look at all the times the paparazzi have “caught” (take this however you want) them leaving that NY apartment. Zayn, and sometimes even Gigi, don’t look like the happy, loved up couple all the articles claim them to be:
I find this one particularly funny because he is holding his own hand and it looks like she just slipped her hand in there for the photo.
And then you have this photo of them finally reconciling in the street conveniently in front of some paps:
He’s not touching her anywhere other than the mouth (look at that starbucks promo lmao), his hands are pockets, and he may have actually missed her mouth:
And in the rest of the photos he looks fed up and barely touches her, if at all:
Remember, this was after they’ve reconciled, and yet he doesn’t look interested her in the slightest.
Even if you think they were an actual couple, this would be an incredibly toxic relationship. They have “broken up and got back together” how many times now? (legitimate question, I have lost count). They paint the narrative like Zayn riddled with mental health problems and Gigi is the only one that can save him, but sometimes, it just gets too much for her:
“A second source explained there was an honest effort to make their second go at their relationship a success. The two “tried hard to make it work,” the source said, but Malik has “a lot of his own issues that she couldn’t help him get through.”
You could make the claim that this quote is made up, but then I could argue the very same thing about every quote ever made about their relationship. Why would you want to support a couple if this is the way they are portrayed?
And then “Zayn” tweets this when Gigi is rumoured to be dating someone else:
“When lord knows I don’t deserve it” What the hell is that supposed to mean? It’s just honestly so fucking gross no matter which way you look at it.
As for your question as to why she would have a baby for PR, look at the amount of attention she has gotten over these pregnancy rumours just in the last few days. Imagine if she would begin talking about it all of the time, all the promotional deals she could get. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was tired of modelling and ends up doing YouTube or something full time.
There is a lot of things that don’t add up with this pregnancy nonsense. Like the fact that she isn’t showing at all despite the fact that, going by the timeline, she is five months along. Not only would she have gotten pregnant immediately after after they apparently rekindled their relationship (which, with her Hashimoto’s disease is incredibly unlikely), but she doesn’t look pregnant in the slightest. That baby is five months along, and is almost completely formed, organs and all. The baby is the size of a mango, and yet her stomach has remained flat this entire time? No growth at all?:
That, and her own father called it gossip. If she has been pregnant for five months at this point, shouldn’t he know that his daughter is pregnant with his first grandchild?
And I will give it to you that she might be drinking decaf, but how about recording yourself horse riding? Not only that, but horse riding in general while you are pregnant is incredibly dangerous to both the baby and the mother’s health:
But as your pregnancy progresses, the risk of serious injury – to you and your baby – increases. If you get thrown from or kicked by a horse after your first trimester, once the baby has moved higher up in the abdomen, there’s little to protect the baby from harm.
What’s more, the jostling motion of horseback riding can increase your risk of placental abruption, a serious pregnancy complication in which the placenta separates from the uterus.
What’s more, is she apparently has Hashimoto’s disease, which makes it incredibly hard to get pregnant in the first place, and can increase the likelihood of a miscarriage. Why would she even want to risk it, given the fact that she already has a high risk pregnancy during a pandemic where healthcare is limited, the likelihood of her getting pregnant is low, and she increases the risk by not even paying attention to the task, but record herself doing so? It doesn’t make a shred of sense.
There’s so much to this narrative that doesn’t add up.
Again, I appreciate the civility, and I like being challenged, it gives me a good opportunity to back up my beliefs in evidence, which I believe to be incredibly important. So if anyone has any other questions feel free to DM or send me an ask.
Disclaimer: Initially this post was a response to someone who responded to an ask I answered way back in April about Gigi’s pregnancy, but was deleted for some unknown reason. I added some parts in to construct a more detailed and accurate analysis.
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do you have any headcanons about kuruk and ummi? like what their relationship was like before it's tragic end? i hc that ummi was a shaman's daughter. she was beautiful, kind and sweet but very clumsy, very accident prone and very unlucky. (rumors say it's a curse 👀) so people tended to keep their distance :(. kuruk was ofc a 'go with the flow avatar' so i imagine him as easy going, very popular and well liked in the community, basically the ancient atla version of a surfer dude. they meet when ummi's mother (the tribe's shaman) trains him to become more in tune with his spirituality as the avatar but he wasn't very good at it. so ummi offers to help him become more spiritual if he'll teach her to waterbend (so she can better protect herself from the situations her bad luck puts her in). he agrees. they begin a mutually beneficial agreement, which turns into an unlikely friendship that becomes something more <3
i hc that koh stole her face because of a generational curse in their family. kuruk was devastated when she was taken from him and tried to get her back but he couldn't save her. and he knew ummi would want him to carry on and continue with his duties as avatar. koh never forgot the avatar's interference and the insult of him trying to destroy koh (a spirit almost as old as time itself) and held a grudge against the avatar for centuries.
that's all i have so far lol. feel free to add on if you'd like or to answer with your own interpretation.
(also bonus points if you spot the taang parallels i threw in there because i'm trash and i'm a sucker for the cyclical elements in reincarnated romances)
hope you have an awesome day!
I can't say I have thought too much about Kuruk and Ummi. I'm reading the Kyoshi Novels right now, though, (sometimes, you read half a book in a day and then don't touch it again for two months, that's just how things are now), and he's obviously been mentioned a few times in those already, so I'm curious to see what else I'll find out about him from there.
But until then, I like your interpretation of them! I always thought Kuruk either drew Koh's wrath because he neglected his duties in the physical world or because he kept a bit too close of an eye on the spirit world. Or, well, both, because those go quite well together. He's meant to be the bridge between both worlds, and I can imagine that an ancient spirit wouldn't appreciate the meddling of a twenty-something human dude, who, I agree, probably was a fairly laid back, easy-going guy and seemed to not take things too seriously.
I've never sat down to think about Ummi's backstory, but I think I quite like yours. Him going to her mother for spiritual guidance fits well with my thoughts of him needing to pay more attention to the spirit world, I reckon, and a curse is an interesting idea! Obviously, that was never on my mind, but it's ... yes, intriguing. A young woman plagued by bad luck for all her life, people possibly avoiding her because they worry it'll rub off on them, lucking out in the love interest department, only to ultimately suffer such a horrible fate is ... a story I would read, I think, haha.
Kuruk died young, as far as I'm aware, and I think that probably had a lot to do with him trying to get Ummi back. She probably would've wanted him to get back to his life, once it becomes clear that she cannot be saved, but I don't think he ever comes to a point where admits to himself that she's lost. He dies young and full of regrets and leaves behind a world that wasn't prepared for his early death.
Koh probably holds a grudge against him because he won't let up on him, won't give up, won't stop fighting against something that Koh probably views as just. Because ... well, he's a spirit. Blue-and-Orange-Morality and all that. He's not doing evil in his eye, he's ... doing what he was literally created to do. He's Koh the Face Stealer. He steals faces. Nothing evil about that.
And ... yeah. Honestly, I should be thinking about them way more, because they're tragic and interesting and there's so many gaps to fill in so many different ways. And I probably didn't address everything you said, but ... I enjoyed this. I never thought much about this before, and I always like thinking about new things, haha.
Thank you so much for the ask, Anon!
(Also, please no Kyoshi spoilers. I WILL read those books. I really, really liked what I've read so far. I just can't concentrate well.)
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Different kind of grief
Have you ever experienced a friendship or relationship breaking apart so terribly and irreparably that you grieve it like you'd grieve for a recently deceased loved one?
Like you don't even grieve the person, but the companionship, the late night talks that exposed questions about existence and deeply hidden feelings coming into star-brightened darkness, the occasional laughing fits, the warm smiles, the content silences...
She was the last one I had. In person I mean. I cherish and appreciate my online friends with a soul-crushing passion, but the in-person companionship I crave is a kind of void that they just cannot fulfill, not anytime soon at least.
We were unhappy even before our relationship changed labels, I think. We didn't have much in common anymore, after (then) 15 years of having been friends, our interests and expectations in life and romance had drifted apart instead of closer together and it should have been the first sign that turning our relationship into a romantic one was a terrible idea.
I was unhappy, I ended up being the initiator of practically everything, be it touch or conversation or addressing problems. It was always me that stepped forward, and the lines between platonic and romantic felt like a blurry and dangerous path to tread on without her telling me what is too far and what isn't, so sticking to small displays of affection like occasionally holding hands and a few gentle kisses to the cheek or forehead were the most bravery I could muster and the most I received in turn. I was touchstarved and desperately craving physical proximity, in part to battle my internalized self hatred that told me I was undesirable and only her last resort choice after 3 failed relationships of her own.
One time she exploded on me, her years worth of bottled up frustration and anger at the world bubbling up over a relatively small situation via text, intentionally twisting my words to be angry with me and vent more of her tension. She apologized later, but the panic attack I had that day would stick with me for far longer still.
I would start noticing when she lied about her feelings.
The way I recognized her typing style shift, her voice grow meek, the sudden increase of time required to form responses. Seeing the signs was easy, but discerning the cause was always about as clear to me as milk.
I was taught that honesty and communication were key in maintaining healthy relationships, so I would ask her if I did something wrong or if we needed to talk something out in any way, because I had noticed her tone change mid-conversation.
She would always insist that everything was fine, maintaining her facade of the perfectly composed adult.
I believed her and reinforced the chains that bound me to her.
We would start writing less, seeing each other less, despite only living two blocks apart. It was more and more difficult to get any mutually beneficial conversation going and we'd get frustrated being around each other in person after as little as 3 hours too. She at some point insulted my interests and got angry at me for struggling to share hers. I've tried to bring our lack of intimacy and unclear boundaries to attention too one day, only to have her shake her head and tell me that she's fine with whatever, that she doesn't need much to be happy. What we had didn't cut it for me and it had hurt, having my feelings ignored like this, so I refrained from trying again.
I thought it better to not poke the sleeping bear anyways.
Then, someone new tumbled into my life, someone with a passion as sparkling and intense as my own, a lonely soul masked in a charmingly awkward, ironic bravado and bluntly thrown quips. It didn't take long for us to click and converse on the daily. The more we learned of each other, the more similarities we found.
He lives several hundred kilometers away, but it still took only two months of daily texting and several hours of voice and videochat for me to fall head over heels.
I felt so unbelievably guilty.
I couldn't sever the chains that tied me to her out of fear of playing into her insecurities, but by the time I met him I had already been feeling like a bird stuck in a cage - solely there for her comfort, putting her feelings before my own, always. I was unhappy, we weren't working. But I cared more about her than myself, so I told myself I wouldn't break up with her.
And yet she’d deserved to know the truth, so as soon as I realized my feelings I confessed about it to her.
Things got messy from there, too much back and forth with me desperately clawing for any bit of selfish compromise I could get my hands on.
She eventually had enough of it and broke up with me, but we promised we'd stay friends.
She put on her porcelain mask of careful indifference and things went smoothly for a while.
It didn't take long for the mask to crack though. It was too frail to withstand her jealousy, her heartache, and eventually it fell apart.
She came to me with misinterpreted situations and long ago wrongdoings I've comitted, in her mind to intentionally cross her, talking over me when I attempted to correct her or defend myself, accusing me of being a lying, backstabbing bitch who was not an ounce better than the grovelling, attention-starved crybabies that play the victim card at and every opportinity. Then she insulted me and my loved ones up and down.
Then she left.
And I wailed as my shaking fingers blocked her on every site I could think of, terrified of her wrath and scared of more to come.
And then I hated her, for her hypocrisy and the hurt she's inflicted on me, as the realization of her small manipulative tactics to keep me bound to her slowly sunk in (for the sake of maintaining her anonymity I will not go into detail about how specifically she manipulated me, but know that there was what I now understand to have been some gaslighting involved).
Now, over a year after she confronted me, all I have left are the glowing embers of grief replacing my rage, and the understanding that I too have made more mistakes than I can count and had originally realized.
Now it doesn't matter who had ultimately been at fault, or whether or not her behavior was hypocritical or just.
All I know is that now I am lonely and tired.
Tired of being angry and hurt.
Tired of remembering her in all those little, painful ways that have shaped my life over the 16 years I've known her.
I still have him and my online friends and feel more balanced and supported than I've ever been, but in losing her I have also lost my only remaining real life friend and along with it, the kind of companionship my online friends cannot give.
She's written me a letter together with some old art of mine since that last fateful conflict, actually.
It made all of my emotions flare up again.
On the first read it had felt sincere, she was apologizing for not letting me defend myself in our last conversation all those months ago, that she's doing better now, especially in handling her emotions more openly and hasn't had any outbursts since. She also said she'd send me the art pieces and gifts I've given her over the years back if she found more of them.
On the second read it felt like salt in an open wound, an attempt to rub in that she is over me, better off without me while I was still stuck in my grief and hurt. I've written countless drafts of response letters, ranging from long and infuriated, to brief and sorrowful, to sarcastically apologetic until eventually I gave up trying altogether. Too stricken with negative emotions to think clearly.
I'm still unsure which outcome would be pettier of me, trying to get the last word in, or deciding she doesn't deserve an answer? Would sending her a response incite an attempt to mend our lost friendship and rekindle it, or would not answering imply my agreement to have her send back more items in the future?
It made me realize that I don't actually want her back in my life.
That it's not her that I miss, but rather the easy in-person companionship I've had with her, the happiness and comfort that comes with it.
By writing this post I was kind of hoping to find a different kind of closure, by getting my thoughts and feelings out about it all without actually writing her back.
I'm still hurting and lonely, but it's gotten better, continues to get better.
If you've read this far - and really, I don't think there's much of a reason you would, you don't know me after all, so why should you care - thank you for lending a patient ear to a grieving stranger.
If you think that you are who this whole post is centered around:
I genuinely do hope you are doing well. That you will find happiness, comfort, genuine companionship and a warm meal and bed to return to every day.
I just wish for it to be far away from my own.
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here’s this clip of taylor telling their terrible father that he’s terrible, posted basically for the purpose of appreciating asia kate dillon’s acting. also, i tacked on this preface where taylor’s talking with wendy and realizes for sure that in the several times they’ve been meeting up, wendy’s just been working against taylor, included for the same reason, and because the dramatic music cutting out when taylor says “nope. fuck.” and the intense panning / rotating shot of taylor watching wendy leave is very cool
this might lend further context to these scenes with winston in the following episode, where it’s all:
winston: “you’ve also never seen them cut off their own father’s head before. ...oh shit, sorry.”
taylor: “no. you’re right. i wasn’t born with a broadsword in my hand, but i was forced to learn how to wield one, so i did.”
and where axe goes on tv and implies that taylor just chose to betray their father for profit. which, even if that Was the case, nice
and for even more context: back in the day taylor’s father was fired from his engineering job for infractions which he says he committed because if he’d gone through the proper bureaucratic processes, he wouldn’t’ve been able to work on his project the way it Should be worked on. originally taylor called their dad in to Do Some Math with them basically, and axe went to some surveillance-y lengths to steal that math, then realized there was a mistake in the math which he interpreted as a signal from taylor, and then taylor and axe meet up and taylor offers axe an agreement to End The Hostilities in a mutually beneficial way and of course that didn’t go anywhere because axe is a child.
anyways and then, on account of running their own hedge fund now, taylor is able to provide their terrible dad with a sweet setup and funding to continue his engineering stuff, but their dad is terrible, and perfectly willing to accept the support and sign on to the arrangement, but whenever taylor brings up that there are business considerations which mean that things might not go 100% his way and he’ll need to work with them on this, douglas (the terrible dad) gets all Tragic Wounded Dignity and guilts them over not caring enough about their own father, and/or tries to walk out of the discussion only for someone to have to go after him, and/or gets mad at the fact that taylor gets to be in charge because it’s really important to him that he gets to be considered the smartest person around and thus the Best Decision Maker, and/or talking about how taylor ought to feel bad for working in finance despite the fact he’s perfectly happy to have taylor’s hedge fund being all that makes his project even possible, and/or other terrible things. as soon as he arrived in the hedge fund btw it took half an episode to get him to stop misgendering taylor and that was just a sign of things to come. he is also like probably the oldest person at tmc and yet still is Like That. all the ways i just described him relate directly to this clip.
and then yeah so axe is trying to ruin things for taylor, and for whatever reason wendy has accepted an offer of amicability from taylor and agreed to meet with them just to talk about life and stuff, except wendy plans to help axe ruin things for taylor, actually. and thanks to a discussion about a sculptural monument and wendy proceeding to revisit old obviously-confidential patient files of hers on taylor (which is why her medical license was eventually under review b/c uhhh you can’t do that), wendy goes to axe like “if we ruined their relationship with their father they’d probably be really sad,” and then whether because they think that this sadness will destabilize tmc, or because it’s just pettiness, axe manages to get taylor’s dads aerospace engineering project flagged as a security threat to create a situation in which taylor will have to take out their dad’s project themself, and sure enough taylor sees their only option as selling the project off to the govt. also important to note is that just earlier in this episode there was a conflict that caused the firefighters fund, a big and important investor, to walk away from tmc, which taylor accepted because to compromise further would involve messing with their dad’s project. and here we see taylor’s dad finding out that taylor “caved” re: his project, immediately going into top Nonsense Shenanigans mode in which he tries to guilt taylor, ignores the fact that they need to consider tmc (which allowed them to fund his project in the first place) too, accuses them of not caring about his Dreams (of, like, really good aerospace design fin, idk), ignores the fact that taylor has been working to support his project even to the detriment of their own company, generally insults them and in the same breath says it’s horrible that they worked with axe cap and that they worked against axe cap, acts like he’s Better than all this high finance stuff even though he was fine with signing aboard, goes with the “you people [referring to taylor specifically btw, he’s great]...all you care about is fucking money,” like he’s only just now finding out this is a hedge fund, ugh
sorry i can go on and on about how terrible taylor’s dad is
also featuring mafee being all like “aw jeez” about the fact that yeah, wendy orchestrated a fake-casual-run-in with him at a bar and struck up a conversation and mafee let slip that tmc was going with a startup investor (which axe and co then used to deduce that specific investor and interfere) and then wendy wasn’t even polite enough to listen to mafee get out like, one sentence about his own life before pretending she needed to bail. harsh, but it was also so “cmon, mafee, for gods sake” that i was really not so sure that mafee in turn wasn’t in on it already and giving her false info or something. but no, he really did just mess up that bad. but taylor kindly reassures him on this, as you can see.
again, sorry for all this text, i just really have that much contempt for douglas mason. really the Moment is when he’s trying to dramatically storm out for like the fourth time and goes “what’s possibly going to keep me here now?” because he’s a self-serving hypocrite and the loyalty as family he keeps demanding from taylor should only go one-way in his mind and it doesn’t occur to him that he might want to work with taylor for any reason besides that it might serve the purpose of letting him do his own thing exactly the way he wants to do it. and then you can see taylor make the decision to tell him off because that’s the final nail in the coffin of the concept that he could be worth keeping around, truly
and another Moment and another Asia’s Acting moment is douglas asking “don’t you need me?” and taylor responding “yes. and i always have. but the version of you i really need, the one who’s a father first - he doesn’t exist”
and a definite Killer Delivery moment goes to: “so maybe i’ll actually win.”
anyways the whole thing Did make taylor sad but let’s be real: axe capital accidentally did tmc a favor by forcing douglas mason out of the picture.
#happy father's day to the subset of people with fathers so terrible you either have or wish you could kick them out of your life#and to everyone else#here's some tags i guess for people who might actually be looking for stuff about:#taylor mason#asia kate dillon#billions#and the ol constant billions tag#winston billions#imagine Anyone in the whole world liking douglas mason's character. you can't! it's impossible!!!#lbr sara rightfully being like ''what the hell mafee'' probs made it easier for taylor to skip right to the ''aw it's alright'' stage
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Cy
REQUESTED BY: Anon (#1 through #93)
Answered under the read more!
TW: Alcohol (55), NSFW that’s not in-depth (#57)
Basics:
1. What is their gender? No such thing as gender
2. What is their sexuality? Garin and Ril. nblw
3. What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames? They don’t know why they were named Cyrus, although Garin did some digging in some history books and it relates to kings. Everyone calls them Cy. I named them Cyrus because of their one eye, and it can be related to ‘Cyclops,’ the creature they are bound to become! The name Cyrus, while associated with Cyrus the great and other rulers, also means ‘far sighted,’ yay for eye jokes!
4. Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger? Which sibling are they the closest with? They have no clue where they came from, so any siblings are unknown. They don’t like to think about it still, but it’s something they’ve opened up to Garin and Ril about. Cyrus has 4 siblings. Three are all older than them, but Cy is the older twin.
5. What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives? Cyrus resents their birth parents because they do not understand why they wouldn’t raise them. They feel a bittersweet love for their adoptive parents, but would not like to see them again. Misses their grandmother dearly. See #17.
6. What would they give their life for? Garin and Ril.
7. Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet? Yes! Garin and Ril are their girlfriends! The three met shortly after Cy came to the kingdom of Nucifera as a traveling merchant. They sold old trinkets and collectibles and approached the then-couple Garin and Ril. The three hit it off with easy banter to a point where Garin encouraged Cy to stay overnight at the kingdom’s inn and pay a visit to their tavern the next morning. Cy did so and the three became close friends. Cy encouraged Garin to open her tailor shop, Ril encouraged Cy to settle down (even offering a job at their tavern), and after a while, the couple approached Cy about a polyamorous relationship! They all spoke about their boundaries and the three are still happily together 4 and a half years later! Fun fact: at the start of the story, the three spoke about marriage. Cy has been the most hesitant with commitment, followed closely by Ril, but the three all agreed that they’d be ready to be married! They all have an idea of how they’re going to propose, but someone’s idea is ready now.
8. What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? They believe that nothing with happen, and they’ll just no longer be alive and their body will eventually go into the dirt. Although the belief troubles them, they ultimately accept it begrudgingly because they consider it the only truth.
9. What is their favorite color? Favorite animal? Their favorite color is purple, their favorite animal is a mink.
10. What are some of their talents/skills? They are amazing at crochet. Also, a master when it comes to gambling... luck seems to always be on their side (Along with the aces in their pocket).
11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be? Ideally? Stopping the infection. Other than that? Finding some kind of hidden treasure?
12. How old are they? When is their birthday? Cyrus is 24, and although the calendar for double bloom is different than ours, their birthday in our world would be October 28th.
13. What do they do for fun? Cause trouble in the kingdom.
14. What is their favorite food? How often do they get to eat it? Their favorite food is tiramisu, and they typically only eat it on special occasions or as a surprise from Ril or Garin.
15. What was something their parents taught them? Their adoptive parents taught them that it’s important to learn how to defend themself.
16. Are they religious? Not anymore.
17. Where were they born? They don’t know. Cyrus was born in the Kingdom of Oculi Semoto to the family Maed. Their parents struggled to take care of them, their twin, and three other siblings. Cy was given to a couple who had just recently married that couldn’t have children. They were open to Cyrus about the fact that they were not their birth parents, however, Cy still has their adoptive parents’ last name (Field), and held the first name their birth parents gave them (Cyrus). When they were twelve the couple was having marital issues and Cyrus stayed with their grandmother on their adoptive mother’s side. Cyrus was rebellious during most of their youth, but this was the only point in their young life when they seemed to calm down and take responsibility. They took care of their grandmother and became very close to her. Just after their sixteenth birthday, their grandmother passed away. Cy decided they wanted to travel the world, and set out only a day later. They traveled for two years before they came upon Nucifera.
18. What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages? There’s not multiple languages at this point, so Cy speaks common.
19. What is their occupation? Works at both the Nucifera tavern and tailor. Local chaotic bastard. They’re on the guard watchlist.
20. Do they have any titles? How did they earn them? Nope. They are sometimes referred to as the “ex-trader” for their previous work as a wandering trader. Also known as the kingdom’s general troublemaker.
Personality:
21. What is their favorite thing about their personality? Their cockiness.
22. What is their least favorite thing about their personality? Their want for reassurance
23. Do they get lonely easily? More than they want to admit. They put on a good persona to hide this.
24. Do you know their MBTI type? Cy is ESTP
25. What is their biggest flaw? Their denial that it would be beneficial to trust and rely on others
26. Are they aware of their flaws? Yes.
27. What is their biggest strength? Their confidence
28. Are they aware of their strengths? Yes.
29. How would they describe their own personality? “The best.”
30. When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”? Fight.
31. Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before their own? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this? Only if the person is very close to them. This only includes Garin and Ril, and they’ll put their girlfriends’ needs first when feeling like they should... but for anyone else, not at all.
32. What is their self-esteem like? They’re really cocky, but with the infection taking its course, their self-esteem drops when they are alone and quiet.
33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it? Losing control, and losing Garin and Ril. They’re already facing it, and they’re trying to smile through it.
34. How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives? Cy doesn’t take trust lightly, Garin and Ril are the only ones who know anything, and they don’t know EVERYTHING. When others tell secrets to Cy, nothing’s a secret unless it’s life-threatening. If it is? With their lives. If Garin and Ril really are serious about them keeping the secret, then they’ll keep it.
35. What is the easiest way to annoy them? Generally targeting personal details about them, and continuously bothering them to do things they refuse to do.
36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous. They generally enjoy insults, specifically at anyone other than themself of their girlfriends. Or if someone other than those specified get hurt (if you’re starting to grow on them and they ask if you’re alright instead, you know you’re in).
37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it? It’s VERY hard for them to say I love you. When they do say it, it means a lot.
38. What do others admire most about their personality? Their quick humor.
39. What does their happily ever after look like? Being able to live life without worrying with Garin and Ril. Maybe be married?
40. Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual? Garin and Ril. Yes.
Physical Profile:
41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh? They have a loud, almost snarky laugh. They don’t snort when they laugh but will laugh at anything that can be harmful to others.
42. What is their favorite thing about their physical appearance? Their hair, although to others they’ll say “My everything, of course.”
43. What is their least favorite thing about their physical appearance? Their single eye. Before that, it was their nose.
44. Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars? They have many scars, most are from fights they picked.
45. How would they describe their own appearance? “Cool as hell.”
46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions? They have trouble expressing emotions sometimes, however, they can hide emotions very well!
47. What’s their pain tolerance like? High.
48. Do they have any tattoos? What are the stories behind those tattoos? They don’t have any tattoos.
49. Do they have any piercings? They pierced their ears and nose, but they have since healed, but the place they were pierced are still visible.
50. How would you describe their style of clothing? How would they describe their style of clothing? I’d describe it as edgy but neon, some stuff worn for comfort, others uncomfortable. They’d describe it as “Cool as hell”
51. What is their height? Weight? 5′10″ and 142 lbs
52. What is their body type? Are they muscular, chubby, skinny, etc? They’re skinny.
53. What is their hair color? Eye color? Skin tone? Their hair is light purple, their eyes are brown (turning grey), and their skin tone is dark (dulling).
54. What is their current hairstyle? What have been some of their past hairstyles? Which was their favorite hairstyle? Their current hairstyle is self-cut. Shaved on one side and cut to about their eye on the other. In the past, they used to cut their hair to their shoulders but never liked it. Their current is their favorite.
55. What is their alcohol tolerance like? What kind of drunk are they? How bad are their hangovers? Their alcohol tolerance is pretty high, and they don’t get drunk often, even if they might joke that they will. Hangovers are pretty bad.
56. What do they smell like? Why do they smell like this? (Is it the things they’re around or a perfume they wear?) They’re stinky because they hate showering. I refuse to describe it.
57. How do they feel about sex? Are they a virgin? Cy has fucked, and will fuck again.
58. What is their most noticeable physical attribute? They have one eye. Before the infection, it was their hair.
59. What does their resting face look like? Do they have RBF? They constantly look like they’re thinking of something that’s really funny
60. Describe the way they sleep. When sleeping without their girlfriends, they sleep in the fetal position. With them, Cy tends to spoon them (insists on being big spoon).
Environment:
61. Which season is their favorite season? Winter. If they’re lucky, it’ll snow, and then they can close up shop and not have to be bothered by customers. Ril also makes some mean hot cocoa and Garin always cuddles.
62. Have they ever been betrayed? How did it affect their ability to trust others? Yes. It caused them to never trust people’s respect of their boundaries.
63. What is always guaranteed to make them smile? Finding a way to make Garin and Ril laugh after a bad workday.
64. Do they get cold easily? Do they get overheated easily? They get overheated easily, and they carry a paper fan with them wherever they go- mostly for the dramatic air of it all.
65. What’s their immune system like? Do they get sick often? How do they react to getting sick? Cy gets sick often and makes an effort to whine about it so much that Garin will help them. Being infected was the one thing they didn’t whine about.
66. Where do they live? Do they like it there? They live in the attic of the tavern Ril owns and operates! Cy enjoys it because when they’ve grown tired of everyone else, they can simply go back upstairs and wait for the workday to be over.
67. Is their bedroom messy? What about their bathroom? Kitchen? Living room? Their side of the bed’s pretty messy, but the rest of their living space is clean because they share it with Garin and Ril.
68. How did their environment growing up affect their personality? They continue to be very brash with a hesitant approach to stability and responsibility.
69. How did the people in their environment growing up affect their personality? Because of their parents, they tend to resent others for small reasons. Along with that, they gained a lot of trust issues.
70. How do they feel about animals? Do they have any pets? CY LOVES ANIMALS... It’s a bit of a secret until they find a lizard or snake and try to bring it into the house or wherever they go.
71. How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any? They’re not... gifted with children, but with patience and learning, they’d be good with ‘em! Maybe a bit of a bad influence but as long as they aren’t alone for too long. They don’t have kids but they’ve discussed with Garin and Ril that WAY into the future... maybe.
72. Would they rather have stability or comfort? Stability.
73. Do they prefer the indoors or outdoors? Outdoors.
74. What weather is their favorite? Do they like storms? STORMS, Cy likes storms because it means their girlfriends’ stores are closed and typically it’s a cuddle day.
75. If given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? They’d make a to-do list or sketch the area around them and see what they haven’t explored yet.
76. How organized are they? NOT AT ALL, Garin and Ril always fix things for them so it’s more organized.
77. What is their most prized possession? A picture of them with Garin and Ril. There’s a sweet message from Garin on the back.
78. Who do they consider to be their best friend? Garin and Ril, of course, but Ril is better at understanding Cy’s emotions. Garin is better at bringing them out.
79. What is their economic situation? They get by... they have taken multiple jobs other than the tavern and tailor to earn extra pay.
80. Are they a morning person or a night owl? Night owl.
Miscellaneous:
81. Are they bothered by the sight of blood? Slightly, but they won’t admit it.
82. What is their handwriting like? Chicken scratch.
83. Can they swim? How well? Do they like to swim? They can swim very well, but they tire easily. They think it’s fun though.
84. Which deadly sin do they represent best?
Aalto - Wrath
Kadence - Greed
Mochi - Pride
Vel - Envy
Cy - Gluttony
85. Do they believe in ghosts? No.
86. How do they celebrate holidays? How do they celebrate birthdays? They don’t like to celebrate their own birthday, but they have been getting accustomed to the idea of enjoying specific days by celebrating festivals in the kingdom with Garin and Ril. Though that usually ends up in thievery and a night in a jail cell.
87. What is something they regret? Never looking for their siblings.
88. Do they have an accent? Slightly, although they specifically cover it up by speaking louder and with specific enunciation. They have been working with Ril to achieve this.
89. What is their D&D alignment? Chaotic neutral.
90. Are they right or left handed? Left
91. If they were a tweet, what tweet would they be?
92. Describe them as a John Mulaney gif.
93. What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said? (There’s no definite script written out yet so I’m going w the only thing I’ve got so far.) “Cranky ‘cause you’re a twink aren’t you?”
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2020 Revisions: Good, Bad and Ugly Rhinos 2021 Scenarios
The Rochester Rhinos Outsider blog was a series of articles written in the winter of 2018-2019 as the second year of the club’s hiatus was at its quietest and darkest. This article is part of the 2020 Rhinos Outsider Revisions series, a series of long-read features jumping off from the starting point of those original articles with new information since revealed.
The Rochester Rhinos pushed it back to 2021. That’s one more year, a third year of waiting. So let’s take another trip back to when we had one fewer year to wait through. One of the funnier articles from the Rhinos Outsider posts was the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. It was about speculating all the different ways the return might go. That is, all the good ways, bad ways and just plain ugly ways. Moreover in the leadup to the meat of the article I wrote about the “hat trick of ruined owners”. That little piece hasn’t meaningfully changed in the year since I wrote it so here it is! That particular passage in a lightly edited form:
First things first, let’s be totally up front: this maybe it for the Rhinos. The Dworkins could also spend themselves into insolvency if Rochesterians don’t come to the new venue. They too could basically be forced to give up the team by debtor banks like the first owners or forced to give it up by the league like the second owner and this club could complete the hat trick of ruined owners. Who wouldn’t want to be the fourth owner of that organization? Hate to be that guy, but that is why I’m talking like we got one last chance here. We do kinda have one last chance.
I think that little nugget is a riot. Most outsiders think this club is basically already dead. Hell, that conclusion makes a lot of sense. So much in fact I’ve been writing letters to perspective new owners. But on another level deeper, this club has ruined every individual or group of individuals that has owned it. I’m not saying that’s a curse but there is some dark humor there if that’s your cup of tea. But enough dark soccer comedy, time for a pep talk.
This article in the original Rhinos Outsider series was a big dose of sobriety. A club doesn’t just survive by way of wealthy owners. A soccer club anywhere survives by the efforts of fans and a community, casual or not, that support it. There is a legitimate argument to be made that Rochester doesn’t support her own. We could go down a whole rabbit hole about population and generational differences that contribute to how sports teams are thinning out here. I don’t want to go into those things now but what I ended up giving in this post a year ago was something like a pep talk. The Rochester Rhinos organization represents a piece of this City’s culture that I don’t think people realize. To be very frank I think most Rochesterians don’t realize what we have or might soon have had.
The Rhinos won the Open Cup in 1999. All of us Rochesterians were a part of that. That kind of title has no easy comparison in American Sports. All things being equal, the Open Cup is bigger in U.S. Soccer than the Superbowl is in American Football. WE DID THAT! US, ROCHESTER, NEW YORK! I mean it when I say it: the Rochester Rhinos are the best soccer team in American History. I’ll die on that hill. It would be such a crying shame if Rochester doesn’t realize that until it’s too late. With that as our introduction lets imagine some scenarios for 2021. I will admit some of this is fantasy fulfillment, other parts of it… nightmares.
The Good
The Rochester Rhinos return in 2020 to St. John Fisher’s College Soccer Field. The games are catered by Wegmans which by itself is enough reason to draw 1500 fans of the casual and family varieties. That number is in addition to 1000 fans of the young and diehard categories. This scenario is the good-est of good boys so let’s go all out: not only is the club’s concessions catered by Wegmans, Danny Wegmans owns the team now! He bought out the Dworkins and now the jerseys have a big old W on the chest for Wegmans and Win! They do just that! The Rhinos beat a couple MLS teams in the Open Cup and dominate League One to win a title in their first season back on the pitch! Danny Wegman announces he’s buying a piece of open land in Pittsford and building a stadium! This scenario is so fun I let out my own rendition of the Howard Dean Scream after writing it.
Let’s go a little less good. The Rhinos are still returning to St. John Fisher’s Field because this is still a good scenario. Except in this scenario there are notable hiccups. The concessions are a little screwy and the team has some facilities clashes with the University. The Dworkins do however do a good job pulling in talent and manage to go all the way to the USL League One Final in their first year back. The attendance numbers gradually climb as the season goes on and the good word spreads. After seeing the relationship as mutually beneficial the Dworkins sign a deal with Fisher to keep the team there for three years. At that point they announce their plans to build a stadium in East Rochester. The Rhinos are resurrected!
Ok, one more good scenario. The Rhinos return to the Downtown Stadium after the City realizes how much money they’re losing on having no tenet thee. The new deal allows the Dworkins much greater control over the venue and the City helps finance some renovations that help draw 3000 fans on average the first season back. More supporters are enticed to come to games when the new indoor sports plex next door destigmatizes the neighborhood for all the scared suburbanites. The Rhinos narrowly miss the playoffs, but the new club has a distinctly Rochester identity that everyone is happy to have back.
The Bad
The least bad scenario that I wouldn’t consider good is a rushed move to the Dome Arena area. The Dworkins announce the plan late in the Fall 2020 giving themselves little time to clear land and put a field on the other end of the Dome Arena parking lot. They exclaim the location’s proximity to shopping and Wegmans and what not. Unfortunately the lift the team actually receives is hard to tell as most of the fans shoehorned into temporary stands at one end of the field are clearly diehards. The team isn’t competitive, missing the USL League One Playoffs and losing to another League One team in the Open Cup. This is not to mention Soccer Sam Fantauzzo still thinks he’s competing with the Rhinos in this scenario as he beefs up the Lancers operation.
As bad scenarios get worse the Rhinos get to go to St. John Fisher College their first season back in 2021 but the University quickly doesn’t like it. They go as far as to make large swaths of parking unusable on gamedays. Nonetheless the reborn Rhinos are competitive on the field and almost make the playoffs. The Dworkins announce an iffy plan to move to another venue they don’t name until the last weeks of the season. A run to the MLS round of the Open Cup distracts the fans from the plan falling through. After much wheeling and dealing the Dworkins secure one more year at Fisher and continue to scramble to find a new home in time.
The Rhinos return to Frontier Field in a freak two-year deal with the County and drive nostalgia real hard in the marketing. For a while they manage to drive attendance up before the new team they assemble crashes and burns. Unfortunately nostalgia isn’t enough to save the club from the collapse and the financial fortune of the club is awful by the end of 2021. The Dworkins make one last plea saying if 2022 isn’t good enough financially they simply won’t continue. 2022 sees a miraculous Open Cup run to the semifinals but once again the Dworkins make a plea for financial help as they look for a place to go after Frontier.
The Ugly
The Dworkins sell the team in November 2020. The League operates the team via Pat Ercoli who sees the team play at the Downtown Stadium out of some miracle due to the new ownership. Unfortunately the same problems persist from before the hiatus and Ercoli is forced to get creative. An alliance with the Rochester Lancers goes nowhere even after their owner, Sam Fantauzzo, announces his intent to move the Lancers to the downtown stadium to help the Rhinos. The league has a meeting with Ercoli that is followed by his resignation from the organization. The team shutters for another haitus in 2022 as the league fails to find a new owner before folding it in 2024, the year the USL System finally institutes Promotion/Relegation adding insult to injury to the end of the Rochester Rhinos.
The Dworkins build a small stadium by the Dome Arena in Henrietta and achieve some better average attendance in the first few games back. Pat Ercoli announces his retirement and receives a splendid send off ceremony. Shortly thereafter Sam Fantauzzo moves his Rochester Lancers to NISA where they garner more support from diehard soccer fans in Rochester. This is direct competition for seemingly no reason. The Rhinos season on and off the field tanks before the Dworkins sell the franchise rights in November. The league does not find a new owner and shutters the brand in 2022. I think two ugly scenarios is more than enough.
Final Thoughts
I had a lot of emotional points to make about what the most likely scenarios actually were in the original version of this article. But now I got to be honest, another year of haitus has made me somewhat indifferent. Don’t get me wrong, I love this club, it’s my aesthetic and my favorite soccer club forever and ever amen. But you can’t expect enthusiasm after nearly zero public information sharing over 14 months. Even a lunatic like me can’t get excited for something they have almost no clue about. Help us out here. The next 12 months and beyond will be very interesting.
That said the truth was very well said by one Brad Bates back in December. Bates is a Rhinos supporter way out in Lansing, Michigan. You can hear him on the League One Unfiltered Podcast (L1Unfiltered) or read him on twitter @BradBates25. The brand is in the gutter. Years of neglect and now years of haitus has reduced the Rochester Rhinos to a punch line and a soccer history fancy. A truly rousing reclamation is needed. The Dworkins don’t just need to resurrect their dormant team, they need to create something new worthy of the name and legacy of the Rochester Rhinos. They need to not only make a highly competitive team on the field but a highly compelling overall product for the supporters. Wherever they play they have to build something special, familiar but also distinctly new. Otherwise this all may very well be for naught.
I’ve been very optimistic in this haitus, but its wearing on me now. 2020, or at least these first six months of it, stands to be the busiest year of my life so far. Unless I’m getting far more regular updates then we saw the last 18 months then it will be hard for me to do anything but write an epitaph come the Fall. I don’t want to, but the burden of proof now points in an increasingly negative direction. The Brad Bates Standard is going to be a tough one to meet even if they come back. And now the darker thought arises: do I even want them coming back if I don’t believe they can stage a comeback worthy of the name? Gee, that question is a tough one. Unfortunately it’s the question I’ll be wrestling with more and more this year.
I am basically the only Rhinos blogger out there so follow me if you want more of this. This series of long-read articles, 2020 Rhinos Outsider Revisions, will probably only have one more installment. Come to think of it, this maybe it for trying to make content out of these posts from a year ago. I will probably have a similar long-read article completely new and original. I think it will be something like what we started getting into with the legacy of the Rochester Rhinos. That will come sometime in the next 6-8 weeks before the return of my regular series on the Rhinos: State of the Support. How about more on that.
In a few weeks we should be getting a real update on the situation with the club; at which point Season Two of State of the Support will premiere. State of the Support is a reoccurring series about the Rhinos that will be broadening its scope a tiny bit to Rochester Soccer in general for Season Two. In the spirit of supporting a soccer club I’d say a club like the Rhinos deserve second life if any domestic soccer team does. And even if you don’t currently call Rochester home like me I’d hope you could support their future going forward for just that reason. Hopefully the future of the Rochester Rhinos isn’t just fantasy.
Thanks for Reading.
Let’s Go Rhinos!
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Man City aren’t in crisis despite Norwich shock. PLUS: Bayern’s Bundesliga dominance is under threat
There’s lots to talk about in this week’s Monday Musings following a wild weekend. Gab Marcotti is here to recap the big stories around soccer.
Jump to: No crisis yet for Man City | End of Bayern’s dominance? | Fati masks Barca’s issues | Juventus get lucky | Neymar gets rude welcome | Arsenal woe continues | | Neville harsh on Man United? | Chelsea’s youth movement | Dortmund ready for Barca | Odegaard dazzling for Sociedad | Why Firmino’s so special | Conte, Inter keep winning | The sad story of #BlueGirl
Sky isn’t falling for Man City despite Norwich shock
One of the more odd decisions this past summer was Manchester City not replacing Vincent Kompany. “Replace” is perhaps too strong a word. You can’t “replace” him but you can bring in another live body to give you an alternative at centre-back and provide some competition for John Stones and Nicolas Otamendi.
– Ogden: Man City might regret inspiring Liverpool
– Miller: Have Norwich shown the league how to beat City?
– ESPN’s Ultimate XI: This team would win everything
Many of us pointed this out but hey, it’s Pep Guardiola, so you naturally offer the benefit of the doubt. He must know something we don’t. Maybe Fernandinho (at 34) can fill in too. Maybe Eric Garcia is ready. Maybe Kyle Walker can slide across. Maybe Aymeric Laporte is Iron Man and will never get injured. (Oops: we already know that’s not the case.)
Pep Guardiola’s side looked vulnerable in Saturday’s shock defeat at Norwich but there’s still a lot of time left for them to get their balance back.
It’s not that Otamendi and Stones are bad defenders, it’s that the way City play can leave them vulnerable, which is pretty much what happened against Norwich in their 3-2 defeat. There’s a price you pay for choosing to play a certain way and evidently, for City it’s one worth paying. The problem is this is a low-scoring sport. Scoring goals is difficult and ideally, you want to make conceding them as difficult as possible for the opposition. With those two back there and this setup, it’s that much easier for them.
Updated Luck Index: Man City continue to be unfortunate
No, the sky isn’t falling. Even in this game, Man City could have grabbed the three points with a bit more luck. Nor will they always face someone as motivated and as intense as Daniel Farke’s crew who, severely depleted by injuries, went all out with nothing to lose. But the reality is that the gap separating them from Liverpool is already at five points, and the last time that happened was back in January.
Is time running out on Bayern’s Bundesliga dynasty?
Is this the year someone in the Bundesliga topples Galactus (read: Bayern)?
Leipzig had their audition on Saturday, holding the champions to a 1-1 draw. The result keeps Julian Nagelsmann’s crew top of the league with Bayern fourth, two points back. But other than the usual drive and running you’d expect from Leipzig — and, after the break, the character that wasn’t always there last season — I’m not sure we quite saw enough to predict they’ll prevail over the marathon that is a whole season.
Thomas Muller, right, and Bayern were forced to settle for a point vs. RB Leipzig thanks to some familiar flaws that manager Niko Kovac has yet to fix.
In fact, a lot of it had to do with Bayern’s deficiencies. Having gone ahead early thanks to the age-old Thomas Mueller-Robert Lewandowski connection, they failed to capitalise on their lead despite having the upper hand for much of the first half. Joshua Kimmich in central midfield alongside Thiago Alcantara gave them a bit more control against the press, but they were sterile in the final third. Leipzig deserved their equalizer after a bad error from Lucas Hernandez (the sort that prompts you to say “He cost how much?”) and while late chances meant it could have gone either way, there wasn’t too much separating these two.
The difference? Well, you try to imagine how they can get better and you can see far bigger margins for growth at the Bayern end. Nagelsmann can conjure up some more tactical voodoo, Emil Forsberg might last 90 minutes, Kevin Kampl might be fit again and maybe they’ll get something out of Patrik Schick. But it’s slim pickings.
As for Bayern, Nico Kovac lost David Alaba to injury in the warm-up. But he still has Philippe Coutinho, who only came on with two minutes to go, and Ivan Perisic, who stayed rooted to the bench: presumably both were signed for a reason. The question, really, is how much faith you have in Kovac.
Fabulous Fati obscures Barca’s issues
Ansu Fati, already the third-youngest goal scorer in the history of La Liga, got his first start for Barcelona on Saturday against Valencia and set the Camp Nou alight inside 10 minutes. He scored with a confident, accurate finish, set up a goal for Frenkie de Jong and came close to scoring two more times. Oh yeah, in case you didn’t know, the kid doesn’t turn 17 until Halloween.
His emergence, and that of Carles Perez, means that Lionel Messi (who was in the stands) and Luis Suarez (who came on and scored twice) can come back into the team in their own time. But equally, despite the gaudy scoreline (5-2) and the excitement over Fati, there is still plenty for Ernesto Valverde to work on.
Valencia are a mess right now (thanks, Peter Lim!), having sacked Marcelino and replaced him with Albert Celades. And they still stayed in the game thanks to Kevin Gameiro, falling apart only after Jasper Cillessen‘s mistake for the third Barca goal. Suarez, looking sharp and hungry (no, not in that way), later added two to put the game out of reach.
Defensively, Barca looked far from solid, not just at the back but also in midfield; the fact that it was the first choice trio of De Jong, Arthur and Sergio Busquets doesn’t bode well.
Juventus get lucky vs. Fiorentina
There’s a ton of ancient bad blood between Fiorentina and Juventus. Throw in the enthusiasm that new owner Rocco Commisso has engendered within the Viola organization, the fact that it was Maurizio Sarri’s official post-pneumonia debut and especially the fact that the visitors lost Douglas Costa, Miralem Pjanic and Danilo through injury during the match (and the first two are especially key to the way they play) and perhaps Juve should be happy with a point.
Why? They were poor for much of the game against an opponent who treats the match as if it was the Champions League final and “Avengers: Endgame” rolled into one. Sarri later blamed the heat of a mid-afternoon kickoff, which is a bit hard to stomach since presumably Fiorentina felt just as hot. It might have been better to just take it on the chin, be grateful for the point and move on.
PSG fans will take time to welcome Neymar back
Neymar made his first appearance of the season for Paris Saint-Germain at the weekend and was greeted, predictably, with boos and insults. It’s what you expect when, after pledging your loyalty to the club, you go out of your way to force a move back to Barcelona. So what did he do? Easy, he scored a “worldie” deep in injury time to secure the three points against Strasbourg.
– Laurens: The definitive story of the Neymar saga
“I expected it, but in the end I forced them to applaud,” he said afterwards, adding that every game will now feel like an away match.
He made his bed, he can lie in it now and won’t get much sympathy. But at the very least, he deserves recognition for the professionalism he showed Saturday. Whether he’ll ever get love from the Ultras given what happened is unclear but that doesn’t mean they can’t reach some mutually beneficial relationship.
What’s obvious is that if you’re Thomas Tuchel, you’re glad he’s back.
Arsenal’s issues are self-inflicted
The statistics say Arsenal conceded 23 shots on goal in the second half against Watford on Sunday. That’s one every two minutes and it’s frankly hard to do. It’s especially tough when you go in at half-time with a two-goal lead, one which, based on what we saw in the first half, was likely more than generous. And yes, they ended up settling for a 2-2 draw.
You can focus on individuals — Matteo Guendouzi, Sokratis Papastathopoulos, David Luiz — all you like and there’s another statistic floating around that says that since the start of last season no team has made more errors leading directly to opposition goals than Arsenal. But this is a team issue.
If you have error-prone players, you design tactical systems that protect them and don’t expose them. That’s just basic. And that’s on Unai Emery.
Real nearly throw it away before PSG trip
It’s a sign of Real Madrid’s current state that even after playing well, creating plenty of chances and racing to a 3-0 lead at home to Levante, they still required a last-ditch save from Thibaut Courtois to retain their three points. In the cold light of day, you’d look at this performance, note Madrid’s domination, the fact that the goals conceded were against the run of play and chalk up the 3-2 scoreline to the randomness of football. And you might even celebrate Eden Hazard‘s debut and look forward to what is next.
Instead, it’s all fraught nerves ahead of the trip to the Parc des Princes to face Paris Saint-Germain in midweek. Context matters, possibly because we’re in mid-September and we have no real idea what Zinedine Zidane has in mind.
Neville a bit harsh on Man United?
Manchester United squeezed out a victory over Leicester City, but I was struck by Gary Neville’s comments suggesting Ole Gunnar Solskjaer should get at least three more transfer windows “to clean up the trash in the dressing room, because there is trash in there.”
I have a lot of time for Neville, but I was wondering to whom he’s referring given a summer of significant departures. Of the guys who are most frequently targeted as “trash” (or “weeds,” to use another of his terms), Eric Bailly, Phil Jones and Marcos Rojo haven’t played this year. Fred has been on the pitch for 24 minutes, Nemanja Matic has started one game. Who does he mean? Paul Pogba? Anthony Martial? Juan Mata?
I’m also not sure about the comparisons with Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool and how it took him time to produce. He reached a Europa League final after taking over in October and finished fourth the following year. Plus, he had a rather more credible résumé than Solskjaer did. By all means, give him time, but set credible targets and deadlines too.
Why Chelsea’s youth movement feels different
Chelsea’s 5-2 away win to Wolves brings their seasonal goals total to 11 and all of them scored by Academy graduates. Fikayo Tomori, Andreas Christensen, Tammy Abraham and Mason Mount all started at Molyneux and all look poised to play a big part in Chelsea’s season. With more homegrown players — Ruben Loftus-Cheek and Callum Hudson-Odoi, possibly Reece James too — set to return from injury, there could be as many as seven of them in Frank Lampard‘s XI at some point.
What sets this group apart, though, is the fact that apart from Christensen, who joined at 16, the others have all been affiliated with the club since before they were 10 years old. We often play fast and loose with the homegrown label since so many clubs (including Chelsea, of course) cherry-pick top talent from elsewhere at 16, stick them in the Academy for a year or two and then count them as “club-trained.” Technically, that’s true but with these guys, it’s different.
Dortmund look ready for Barcelona
“Bouncebackability” isn’t a real word, but it applies here. Borussia Dortmund had a whole international break to stew over the humiliating 3-1 defeat to newly promoted Union Berlin and with Kai Havertz and Bayer Leverkusen rolling into town, the potential for aftereffects was still high. Instead, we got one of the most dominating Dortmund performances in recent memory. At the attacking end, Marco Reus got his mojo back, Jadon Sancho popped up with his usual two assists and Paco Alcacer scored in his eighth consecutive game, including internationals.
Roll on, Barcelona, this Tuesday.
Odegaard continues to dazzle
Martin Odegaard made his international debut for Norway at 15 years of age and moved to Real Madrid six months later. Too much, too soon? It felt that way to many, given he failed to establish himself at youth level and later spent two years on loan. But players develop at different speeds, and having rocketed to the international stage, he was due a breather.
This year, he’s on loan at Real Sociedad, where he’s already scored twice and, on Saturday night against Atletico Madrid, was arguably man of the match. He doesn’t even turn 21 until December, but it feels as if this could be the year it all comes together for him. Watch this space.
Meanwhile, for Atletico, the 2-0 defeat reinforces what we already know: losing four or five starters in a summer is tricky to metabolize and there will be days like this when Diego Simeone’s tinkering leads nowhere.
Why Roberto Firmino is so unique
My former colleague Matthew Syed, writing in The Times, made the point that Roberto Firmino appears to have 360-degree vision, a bit like those owls, whose heads seem to swivel all the way around. It’s not hard to see why, given his performance in Liverpool’s 3-1 win over Newcastle.
Some see him as a prototype of a modern center-forward, the “false nine” who is more creator than finisher. That certainly fits with Firmino’s strengths though another, equally formidable strength is the intensity and intelligence of his pressing game. But I’m not sure he’s a prototype of anything.
Most of Europe’s top teams — from Barcelona to Manchester City, from Tottenham to Real Madrid, from Bayern to Juventus — still have a genuine centerforward rather than a “false nine” (to use another hipsterish term). In other words, Firmino is not a trend as much as he has a nearly unique, extremely rare skill set, which comes as a result of his past as an attacking midfielder.
Conte keeping expectations down at Inter
Antonio Conte is playing that age-old game straight out of Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” — “when you are weak, appear strong and when you are strong, appear weak.” Following Inter’s third win on the bounce (one-nil against Udinese) he said, “We know the game. They build us up now to knock us down later. For us to win the title, other clubs would have to have disastrous seasons.”
– Schoenfeld: Romelu Lukaku talks about his Inter mission
It’s pretty transparent what he’s doing. And yes, Inter aren’t title favorites but he has the strike force he says he wanted (Romelu Lukaku, Lautaro Martinez, Alexis Sanchez), he has two of the best young midfielders in the league (Stefano Sensi and Nicolo Barella) and arguably the best center-back corps. There’s no reason to hide. Own the responsibility.
What needs to happen beyond #BlueGirl
The harrowing tale of Sahar Khodayari, the 29-year-old Iranian woman who set herself on fire (and later died from severe burns) after being sentenced to six months in prison for disguising herself as a man to attend a football match between her team, Esteghlal, and the UAE’s Al-Ain last March, shocked the world.
Like many such stories, it’s more complicated than it appears. There is no written law barring women from entering Iranian stadiums, so she was sentenced for not fully adhering to Islamic hijab laws and covering her head. But equally, since the Islamic revolution 40 years ago, women have been unofficially banned from watching men’s games with very few exceptions, like last November’s Asian Champions League final.
It shouldn’t take the tragic death of a vulnerable person for the world to take notice. The hashtag #BlueGirl is great to raise awareness but it can’t end there, particularly since there has been so much outrage and support for change, even in Iran.
FIFA President Gianni Infantino has pushed Iran on this matter before and the stock answer has been that the “infrastructure” was not yet in place to allow women in on a regular basis. (What infrastructure? Women’s toilets? Surely they have port-a-potties in Iran…) That argument is nonsense as evidenced by the fact that women have been allowed in before. FIFA’s statutes are very clear when it comes to equality and access. They have the power to withhold development money and suspend the Iranian FA.
It’s time to take action and, given the support such action would have within Iran — from much of the population and virtually the entire football world — it feels like a no-brainer.
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#Uncategorized#blog - marcotti Man City aren’t in crisis despite Norwich shock. PLUS: Bayern’s Bunde
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( Maxence Danet-Fauvel, 25, male ) Word around the quadrant is that (BOWIE RIESLING) is originally from (TYPHON), but has been on the Terminus for (SIX MONTHS). If you’re in a pinch, he is a talented (INVENTOR). Is that why he’s a (MECHANIC)? Anyway, everyone says he is (+PATIENT) and (+ADAPTIVE), but don’t get on his bad side because he’s (-DEVIOUS) and (-OVERCRITICAL). Oh shoot, don’t look now! He has his (HEAVILY MODIFIED GAUSS GUN) out! (ooc: rory, 22, cst, they/them, n/a)
WORLD BUILDING:
—-> Name: Typhon
—-> Located On: Bowie was lucky enough to be born in Alpha Sector on Typhon.
—-> Brief Description: Typhon is a moderately sized and largely uncomfortable planet. Its surface is dry and harsh and just about uninhabitable. As a result, those who live on the planet do so solely beneath the surface. Alpha Sector is the Capital city of sorts and is the original settlement, but as the population grew, more Sectors were birthed- Beta, Gamma, and so on, all connected via underground roads. The planet has become a technological hub of sorts, with a society that revolves around engineering, tirelessly birthing new technology and working to improve that which already exists. It’s not the most self- sufficient place in the galaxy, but they are certainly more than rich enough to trade for offworld supplies.
ROLE DEVELOPMENT:
—-> Important History:
I like the idea that Typhon is a planet that has, in times past, remained neutral in political affairs outside those within their own infrastructure. Their goal in the past has strictly been to bring their people to the next level, so to speak: Improving technology and lives along with it. Androids, cybernetic enhancement, likely dabbling with or creating teleporters if this is a canon that allows for it, etc., etc. Though I feel they would have been a worthy foe if they’d ever taken part in a significant dispute, through the ages, they’ve tried damn hard to keep their hands clean. It’s easy to see how their neutrality could be troublesome, though, considering the current state of things… but at the end of the day, if push came to shove, they’d do whatever it took to keep everything they’ve built from being destroyed.
The fact that Typhon tries to keep themselves free of becoming entangled in offworld affairs doesn’t mean they don’t have a political structure of their own. Each of Typhon’s Sectors (the smallest of which is still home to upwards of 8,000 inhabitants) has a Council and a Mayor. Alpha Sector is home to the planet’s Chancellor. The current Chancellor is Bowie’s mother. The previous Chancellor was Bowie’s father.
Seven years ago there was an uprising. It was quelled, of course, but not without devastating loss incurred. Bowie’s father, the former Chancellor Riesling, was just one of many who did not make it out alive. During the aftermath, his mother- the current Chancellor Riesling- was elected. Ever since then, things have been quiet, or so it would seem. Who knows what hushed, rebellious plans might be traded amongst the planet’s citizens?
—-> Headcanons:
In the heat of that uprising seven years ago, Bowie’s mother had him shipped offworld. It wasn’t an easy decision, nor was it one she took lightly, but this was not the same planet he’d been born on, not anymore. He’d always been bright, and though she knew he could have been a valuable asset to the planet- both intelligent and creative- his safety was more important to her than what he might have potentially had to contribute, and with the way the tide was turning on Typhon, she thought he’d be better off somewhere else. Luckily, Bowie had always been independent and good at improvising. He hasn’t lived a luxurious life these past few years, but his talent in repairing things (or creating them, if he can get his hands on the right materials) was enough to get by until he landed his job as a mechanic on board The Terminus. He’s good at problem solving, and he’s good in a pinch- he thinks fast and he moves fast and he’s not afraid to tackle big or scary problems head- on. He’d been raised having access to experiment with his home planet’s most sophisticated technology, after all- you’ve gotta have brains if you don’t wanna get blown to bits, right?
Unfortunately, he’s not as great with people as he is with machinery. He doesn’t mean to be an ass, but he doesn’t waste time tiptoeing around… which is to say he’s unapologetically blunt and can be quite indelicate in conversation. Tact isn’t a talent of his, and he’s not very interested in dealing with heavy emotions, whether they belong to him or anyone else. He’s not very good at forming strong connections with people, relationships that extend beyond the surface, and he’s not a very good listener. If he’s just supposed to be empathizing, not trying to solve a problem or fix something, he’ll probably zone out. If you want someone to drink and play cards with, though, sure, he’d be down for that.
A common misconception is that being blunt means he’s, well, honest. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but he’s not necessarily interested in being an upstanding individual, either. If theft, shady business or a white lie here and there helps him get what he wants, he doesn’t see the harm in it. He’s not rebellious, exactly, because he’s not invested in breaking the rules any more than he is in following them. He’s very much someone who will step out of line if and when it suits him. Low- key, of course… no sense getting in trouble. He’s not incapable of subtlety, and if people happen to assume otherwise because of how he seems to navigate social situations with all the grace of a bull in a china shop, well… that’s just an added layer of protection for him, isn’t it?
—-> Key Relationships:
Favorite Test Subject: This person gets access to cool shit that other people don’t, Bowie gets help having his prototypes field tested. It’s mutually beneficial, right? Well, as long as the prototype doesn’t blow up in their face… These days, I’d think his personal projects mainly consist of weapons (lightsaber inspired shit, anyone?! no?) but depending on which character(s) take on this role, we can discuss what sort of technology they’re helping him test. It would have to be someone he’s got some level of trust for, because he wouldn’t take a chance on someone he was worried would sell out or steal his tech or someone he wasn’t confident would be responsible with it. Could easily overlap with “Keep your friends close…”
Keep your friends close…: Someone who has managed to (or manages to- I’m not opposed to writing out their friendship from the start) form up a close, uncomplicated bond with Bowie, despite his previously mentioned general lack of social skills. Could easily be called ‘ride or die’ or ‘best friends.’ I’m just a sucker for those close platonic bonds that stay rock solid despite whatever other chaos is going around, despite whatever tests it. I’d really like to see him get close to someone like that, even though he likes to tell himself it doesn’t matter one way or another whether he has friends or not.
…And your frenemies closer: In contrast, someone that Bowie actively just can’t stand who loathes him in return. Someone who has his hackles raising enough to try and raise theirs in return. They got off on the wrong foot, and that easily could have been due to something Bowie said or did when they first met. Either way, petty insults thrown at each other, sarcastic barbs, I’m here for all of it.
—-> Wanted Connections: N/A!
ADMINISTRATIVE:
—-> How Did You Find Us: Through the tags here on tumblr! I think #new rp? Or maybe the sci fi rp tag?
—-> Anything Else: Here’s a Pinterest board I started for him! I know you guys are very collaborative and you don’t seem to be restrictive as far as creativity goes, but if there’s anything at all you’d like to be adjusted please let me know! :)
About time you showed up, BOWIE RIESLING, we were just about to take off without you. Stow your gear and make sure you send in your account and finish off the checklist within the next 24 hours, or else we might have to dump you out the nearest airlock. MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL has now been claimed. Oh yeah, did I forget to say welcome aboard?
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Stupid Cupid, Chapter 4 (Caryl).
Sorry this is so late. I had most of it written before the episode, but it was pretty short. I wanted to be nicer to you guys than Gimple and his two minutes of Carol, so I went back and wrote another 500 words, lol. Hope it was worth the wait. Mistakes are all mine.
Carol and Daryl deal with their newfound popularity.
Stupid Cupid
xx4xx
The walk from the library to C-Block wasn’t a terribly long one.
Since they’d cleared and fortified this part of the Prison from Walkers, Carol had made it hundreds of times alone. Tonight, though, the hallway seemed to stretch onward for miles, and they lingered in the long shadows her lantern cast. They were essentially enjoying a moonlit stroll, without the moon or the stars, and the romantic notion had Carol smiling softly to herself. Of course, Daryl noticed. He was, as he’d once pointed out to Andrea, a most observant man.
“Looking awful pleased with yourself. Thinking up more of those conditions of yours?”
Carol’s steps slowed even more, Daryl’s gait effortlessly matching hers, and she granted him a sideways look. Gently, she twirled the lantern in her hand, and her smile grew even more at her own whimsy, for the motion painted the dark walls with points of dancing light, manufactured stars, and quiet laughter bubbled from her lips at the wondering expression on his handsome face.
“Having too much fun, Woman.”
Carol immediately set him straight. “No such thing.” Daryl shook his head at her, but his eyes…they told her another story, and she was pleased to realize he was enjoying himself just as much. He was more relaxed than she’d seen him in a long time, and a selfish part of her wanted to bask in this small moment forever. It was a foolish thought, but then, nobody else left on this Earth inspired her to abandon the wisdom of conventional knowledge and lead more with her heart than the man beside her. Any woman with half a brain would have rejected Daryl’s desperate proposal outright, especially if they cared for him as she did, with a breadth and depth of emotion she hadn’t previously known herself capable of feeling. But she wasn’t such a woman, and so she focused on keeping things light and loose between them, and that meant some more teasing was in order. “I think I’m being more than fair. Asking for only 75% of your chocolate stash. If I was really your girl, well. What’s yours is mine and all that.”
Daryl snorted. “Don’t you mean what’s mine is yours?”
“Exactly.” Carol grinned, enjoying the way the corners of his mouth twitched upwards with the belated realization that he’d been had. “You’re better at this than I thought.”
“Yeah, well. Gonna have to watch myself ‘round you.”
Carol rounded on him, pretended to be affronted. “Oh, I see. I see. Now that we’re together, you don’t trust me.” There were voices up ahead, some familiar, some not, but they all faded to nothing at his simple, matter-of-fact response to her claim.
“Trust you. Just don’t trust myself.”
<3<3<3
Dinner that night was…interesting, to say the least.
Carol hadn’t been lying when she’d told Daryl they were the Prison’s latest novelty, and the fascination the others seemed to have and treat their pretend romance with was intriguing in itself. Neither she nor Daryl were young like Maggie or Glenn. They didn’t possess any of Beth’s innocence or sweetness. Their respective lives before the Turn had, quite literally in some instances, beaten it out of them. And yet, none of that seemed to matter. If the attention was a little much for her, Daryl had to feel like a specimen underneath a microscope. Still, he handled it reasonably well. At least until the questions and comments started, and Carol took advantage of the situation. The way she figured it, a little public demonstration of affection here and there never hurt anybody. If this was all going to be temporary anyway, just until the circling Woodbury sharks got the message and backed off, she was going to get her cuddling in now. The redneck Prince of her heart’s term, not hers.
“So. You two, huh?”
Carol nodded and covered Daryl’s hand with her own. Tracing the ropy veins there, the rough callouses and network of faded scars, she accepted Tyreese’s kind congratulations and wrote off the quickening of his pulse as her own wishful thinking.
“What an unusual and striking couple you make.”
Considering the messenger, it was an insult wrapped in faint praise, but Carol chose to ignore it. Resting her cheek against his bared bicep and patting his stomach affectionately, feeling the hard muscles there jump in response, she played off the comment with a wink and a little smile. “Like Beauty and the Beast, right? Three guesses who’s Beauty.”
“This a new thing, or have you two been sneaking around right beneath our noses?”
Hershel answered his own question before Carol even had a chance, with an assist from Rick. “The relationship, maybe. But the feelings? They’ve been there for a while.”
“From the start.”
<3<3<3
Daryl was quiet afterward, when he walked her to her own little piece of home.
He was contemplative, and feeling somewhat unsettled herself, Carol touched her fingertips to his elbow to gain his attention. “You know. There’s no rule in the relationship handbook that says you have to escort me everywhere. I’m just as capable of seeing myself to my own cell as I was yesterday, before all this started.” He peered at her beneath the fringe of his dark bangs, and she hastily added, “Not that I’m not enjoying the company.”
“One of your conditions ain’t it? Doing couple things? Pretending we like each other.”
Her lips twitched with amusement, and her eyes lit up. Deciding to push the boundaries a bit with him, pull him out of his own head, she asked, “Going to spend the night in my bunk, too, while you’re at it?”
Blushing clear to the roots of his hair, he wasn’t above begging. “Stop.”
“Nothing screams you’re a couple more than a little late night nookie.” Unfazed, she persisted in her teasing. “Or we could just, what did you call it? Cuddle.”
Daryl groaned. “You’re impossible. You know that?”
“Yes, but you already knew that. Before.”
“’Fore what?”
Carol grinned. “Before you fell ass over tea kettle for my considerable charms.”
“Fuck, Woman. Would you just…fuck.”
The words escaped him in a low growl, and Carol laughed. "I've always wanted to say that." She decided to offer him an out, though, when it became clear he didn’t share her amusement and her own reservations made a return appearance. “The rabbit hole is deep, Dixon. Sure you want to keep this charade up?”
“M’sure. Ain’t hurting nobody.”
“It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement,” Carol shrugged. “I provide you with a date to the party, you give me all the chocolate I desire. I call that a win-win.” Except a small, buried part of her was starting to disagree with that assessment. Naturally, she ignored it. Because this was Daryl, and whatever he asked of her, she would give it to him or die trying. The realization wasn’t a new one, but it was a sobering one, and she was thankful they had reached their destination. “We’re here.” Her hand started to reach for the curtain.
“Going on that run tomorrow. With Glenn. Couple others.”
“That’s tomorrow?”
He answered her with a jerk of his chin. “Thought if you wanted to send me a list…”
A gentle, all-encompassing swell of affection for the man standing in front of her threatened to overwhelm her, and Carol’s hand changed course, grabbing and holding tight to Daryl’s own. “Just bring yourself and the others home safe. That’s all I want.”
“Do my best."
“Your best is just fine. And Daryl?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t leave without saying goodbye.”
“Won’t.”
It was a promise that made Carol smile, and she brought his hand to her lips, brushed a sweet kiss across his knuckles before letting it go. “Night, Pookie. See you in the morning?”
“See you.”
#The Walking Dead#Caryl fanfiction#stuff that I write#drive by mentions of...#Tyreese Williams#Hershel Greene#Rick Grimes#things that make me smile and cry
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