#fuckboy!jungkook
Text
one of your girls (jungkook x reader) (part 1)
we don't gotta be in love, no
i don't wanna be the one, no
i just wanna be one of your girls tonight
~
i wanna take your light inside
dim me down, snuff me out
~
give me tough love
leave me with nothin' when i come down
pairing: fwb!jk x oc, brief jimin x oc
tags: smut, angst, a little bit of fluff (like teeny tiny)
warnings: two smut scenes, kissing, marking (hickeys), fingering, brief handjob, protected sex, slight dom!jk, sub!oc, praise, dirty talk, grinding, edging, oral (f. & m. receiving), throat fucking, dacryphilia, spit kink, brief masturbation (m.), squirting, brief anal play, back shots, cum shot, multiple orgasms (you'll see), aftercare
word count: 5.8k
a/n: been in my feels lately i had to write it out lol; wrote this in one sitting my hands actually hurt omg; inspired by the song "one of your girls" (ik don't roast me idk why it's stuck in my head fml); if this gets taken down then bye bye i literally just wrote it here directly lmaooooo; anw enjoy !!!! part 2 / drabble i (flashback)
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You knew what you were getting yourself into the night you said yes to Jungkook. You knew you'd fall for him, be under his spell. You knew you'd end up getting hurt. You prepared yourself, you really did, yet you were still surprised when you woke up each morning and he wasn't beside you in bed. You felt your heart break a little bit more when you saw him with another girl, whether she'd be one of your friends or a complete stranger to you.
You tried to guard your heart. Reminded yourself to prepare for the worst. Forced yourself not to fall, not to be blindsided. I'm just having a little fun, you told yourself for the nth time.
jk: u busy tonight?
you: not really! just writing a paper that's due next week
That was sent hours ago and you mentally cringe at your reply. You always find yourself oversharing to Jungkook when you didn't even need to. You wanted to make it seem like your whole situationship was just casual. Like you didn't care. He rarely shared much about his personal life and so should you. But that hardly happened. You didn't want him to think that you cared, that you were clingy or waiting for him to text. You didn't even wait five minutes before replying and he hasn't even texted back.
You know what his text means. He wants to fuck and that's it. But he doesn't say it outright. No, never. He wants to make it seem like he cares, that he wants to know how your night is going. But he just wants to know if you're free to fuck and once you reply, he'll keep that as a reminder in the back of his mind, like he has a mental list of girls he can sort through at the end of the night when he's bored or when he wants to have a little bit of fun.
You know you're just one of his girls on his roster and you're fine with that. You're not his girlfriend and he's not your boyfriend. Though it does seem like that on some days, which is when you get the courage to not reply to his texts. When you try to shut him out and move on. He usually shows up outside your lecture hall with a cup of coffee in hand, bunny smile on his face as he waits for you to walk into the hallway. Like he's waiting for you, picking you up from class like a good and loving boyfriend.
It's all for show and it's only to get himself on your good side again. It works every time. You don't question yourself anymore. Jungkook likes the chase, likes the adrenaline of going after girls and trying to get them to fall for him, or sleep with him, or whatever. It's all the same to him.
You sigh again as you check your phone, hoping for a reply but knowing he won't text back. It's a Friday night and he's probably at some party. You go through your texts and open the conversation with your best friend.
jihyo: see u later! im picking u up so u better be ready >:(
You can't help but laugh at her insistence. Jihyo knows what you're going through since you tell her everything. You tell her you don't care though, that you're not looking for a relationship right now and your "thing" with Jungkook is just casual. But you know she sees right through your lies. It's even more obvious when you ghost all your friends and lock yourself in your apartment every night. She's trying to make you forget and move on and have some actual fun so you indulge her every time.
You get ready in less than an hour and actually put some effort into your appearance. You're not sure which party you're going to but you won't be surprised if Jungkook will be there as well. Maybe if you look hot enough he'll choose you tonight.
You hear a knock on your door and open it immediately, finding Jihyo laughing at something her boyfriend has just said. Most of the time you end up hanging out with her and Mingyu because she's always dragging you with her to keep you from being lonely. You don't mind it though because they're fun people to be with. Even though Mingyu is Jungkook's roommate and best friend. But Mingyu isn't anything like Jungkook. He looks at Jihyo like she's hung up the stars and moon. Loves her with all his heart and doesn't leave her second guessing. You always wonder why him and Jungkook are friends when they're so different.
Jihyo turns to smile at you, but it's still the lovestruck smile she gave Mingyu just seconds ago. You know you have the same kind of smile reserved for Jungkook. You wish you didn't but at the same time you're glad you do, like you have a part of yourself only Jungkook can see. Even though he doesn't do the same.
"You look so hot tonight!" she squeals as she pulls you in a hug. You laugh and roll your eyes, making eye contact with Mingyu as he nods his head in greeting. Jihyo steps back and grabs your hand, dragging you out your apartment so fast you barely have time to lock the door behind you. "Let's go before all the good drinks are gone."
It's a short but fun walk to the house where the party is being held. You find yourself laughing with Jihyo and Mingyu the whole time. They're the type of couple that doesn't make third wheeling a bore.
Loud music blares in your ears the moment you step inside. You feel your heels sticking to the floor. A typical frat house throwing a typical Friday night party. You immediately take shots with Jihyo and Mingyu. You need it to be able to survive the night since you already feel yourself tensing up at the possibility of Jungkook being in the same place as you.
You spot your other friends and hangout with them for the rest of the night. It's when you're playing beer pong with Jimin as your partner do you see Jungkook at the other side of the room. He's talking to some girl which is nothing new. It shouldn't phase you but it does. You thought you were going to be his pick for the night since he texted you a while ago.
You feel your heart fall at the sight of them, your chest physically hurting that you make Jimin throw the ball twice for the both of you since you can't focus. You feel all the fun and happiness slowly leave your body. You feel your stomach churn at the way he's got her trapped against the wall, tattooed arm placed beside her head, mouth whispering right against her ear. She's smiling and giggling at whatever Jungkook is telling her. You wish that were you.
"Forget about him," Jimin mutters in your ear. He's watching your beer pong opponents take their turn as you're watching Jungkook and the girl.
You shake your head at Jimin, turning your head to smile at him just to make it seem like you're okay. Just like Jihyo, he sees right through you.
Jimin's another close friend of Jungkook. They're not so different. Jimin likes to sleep around but he makes it clear that he doesn't want anything serious. Always nice and gentle with the girls he sleeps with. Jungkook makes it seem like you're his and only his. You wonder again why they're friends.
"Seriously, Y/N," Jimin says, a little bit of urgency in his tone. It's probably the look of longing on your face that raises concern in your friend. Everyone sees how broken you look when you catch Jungkook with another girl.
"I know," you say after a while. You talk just a little bit loud enough to be heard over the music. "Jungkook and I just sleep with each other. It's casual and that's it."
You hear Jimin sigh. He nods his head and it's his turn to throw the dirty ping pong ball. You've had this conversation with him and Jihyo numerous times already, sometimes it's the both of them and sometimes it's on separate occasions. You say the same thing every time. You think your friends are starting to give up on you. Maybe you should as well.
You force yourself to have fun for the rest of the night, always trying to be in a room where Jungkook isn't. You're not sure if he's spotted you. You don't know which hurts more—him not spotting you because he doesn't even bother looking for you in the crowd, or him spotting you but not talking to you because you're not his choice for the night. Either way, he doesn't care. You know he doesn't but you wish you did. You thought you'd catch his attention with the black dress you're wearing. Or with the way your hair is styled. But it doesn't work and you tell yourself that it's okay. You always see him in your peripheral though, either talking to someone or flirting with that girl.
You decide to leave when you see Jungkook leaving as well, fingers tangled with the girl's. She looks like a giggling mess and you can't blame her. Everyone falls for Jungkook's charms. You try not to dwell on the fact that they're going to have sex.
It's Jimin who walks you home. He can tell you're sad so he talks about his day and his classes, avoiding Jungkook's name even though you're positive that they hung out today. Jungkook's intertwined in so many people's lives it's hard to leave him out. But Jimin makes an effort just to distract you. You're grateful for it though and he keeps up the act all the way to your apartment. He asks if he can use your bathroom and you say yes, mindlessly changing into your pajamas once the bathroom door closes behind you. You thought you'd have a little bit more time to finish changing but you suddenly hear Jimin swear behind you. You live in a little studio apartment so there's not much room to hide.
"Oh fuck— Shit," he says. You turn around laughing to see him with his hand over his eyes. "Sorry," he mumbles.
You're in your underwear but you don't mind. "It's not like you haven't seen me like this before," you chuckle.
"Still," he reasons.
Because you're stupid and heartbroken and hurt, you walk up to Jimin and gently grab his wrist, bringing his arm down to his side. You look at him looking at anywhere else but you. Eventually he looks down at your body for a split second and you laugh at him.
"We shouldn't," he whispers.
You shrug your shoulders. "Just a little bit of fun, right?" you ask with a smile on your face. "Like old times?" you giggle.
Jimin lets out a scoff but it's more of a laugh. Like he can't believe you're both doing this again. "You sure you're not drunk?" he asks as he makes eye contact with you. Bingo. You got him.
"Nope," you say sweetly.
"But Jungkook?"
You roll your eyes to mask the hurt. "Don't care."
Jimin looks at you intently to make sure you're not bluffing. While you wait for his answer you unclasp your bra and let it fall down your shoulders, exposing yourself to him. His eyes widen at the sight.
"Okay," he breathes out. He suddenly holds you by the waist to place you on the kitchen counter. It has you giggling at him.
"Eager?" you ask when he starts kissing your neck. You feel him drag his teeth across your skin, like he's thinking if he should mark you up or not. You stretch your neck out even more and feel him biting at your skin, sure to leave a bruise.
"Just excited," he mumbles against your neck. You feel him smile.
You unzip his pants while he's busy sucking your nipples. He's hard already when you start pumping your hand up and down his cock.
"Feels good, baby," he moans in your ear. You're still wearing your underwear but Jimin doesn't mind, just pushes it to the side to insert two of his fingers inside your pussy.
"Oh," you choke out. He finds your spot right away and rubs his fingers against it. He doesn't make you come, just fingers you to make sure you're prepped. It's quick when he takes his fingers out and grabs the condom in the back pocket of his jeans. You watch him tear the packet open and roll the condom down his length.
You both don't say anything else as he pushes his cock past your tight walls. Doesn't give you a moment before he starts pounding, his skin slapping against yours.
It's always like this with Jimin—just quick and easy and no feelings attached. You both don't do it much, it happens at the most random times. Usually when you want to forget or when he's stressed from school. And after this you're both back to being friends. It's never awkward. You wish it were like this with Jungkook instead.
"Jimin," you moan when he starts rubbing your clit. "Gonna come."
"Go ahead, baby," he breathes out, placing a soft kiss on your cheek and leaving his lips there. You push yourself to release and Jimin follows right after. You're both breathing heavily when he pulls out, taking off the condom and throwing it in the bin. He zips up his pants and starts looking for something on your bed. You're still trying to catch your breath when you feel a shirt being put over your head. Jimin's sweet like this—does aftercare in the most platonic way possible.
"There," he says after helping you wear the shirt he found. He doesn't know it belongs to Jungkook. You don't think he minds if he does though.
"Thank you," you say quietly and give him a small smile.
"Anytime. I'll see you around, okay?" He kisses your forehead and you watch him leave your apartment.
The silence engulfs you and you think you should feel disgusted with yourself—that you're pining over a guy but you just had sex with another. With his close friend out of all people. But you push the thought to the back of your mind as you jump down from the kitchen counter and walk into your bathroom. You're just like Jungkook, you tell yourself. Just casually sleeping around and nothing else. He doesn't care and you don't either. You feel a teeny bit better.
You take a warm shower to wash all the remnants from tonight. You actually take your time just to clear your jumbled up mind. It's almost 30 minutes later when you step out and check your phone while you're drying off, heartbeat stopping at a text you've received almost an hour ago.
jk: u up?
jk: hey reply to me :(
jk: coming over
Your eyes widen at the last text. It was sent just 10 minutes ago. You don't know where he's coming from but the campus isn't that big so he'll probably be here soon. You quickly finish drying off and change into comfortable clothes. You hear a knock on the door the moment you finish changing. You take a deep breath before walking to the door and opening it.
You notice Jungkook's wearing the same clothes from the party but his shirt is a bit wrinkled. You think he just came from the girl's place. Probably fucked her and is here now because he's not satisfied. You should feel disgusted and mad but you're not. You're no better. You just slept with his friend.
"Hi," you mutter.
He smiles at you and leans in to kiss you on the lips. "Hey, sweetheart." It has you swooning.
You step to the side to let him in and he walks straight to your bed, sitting down to take off his shoes before lying down comfortably. You follow him and sit down on your bed right by his waist. He stretches out his arm to drape it over your thighs and you start tracing his tattoos absentmindedly. This is your usual routine.
"Did you stay in all night?" he asks. Just a little bit of conversation before he does what he's really here for. At least he has a little bit of decency. You don't mind though, it makes you think that he cares about you when he asks things like this.
You shake your head and smile at him. "Nah, Jihyo and Mingyu dragged me to that frat party." You can tell he's trying to hide his surprise.
"Oh, I didn't see you there," he mumbles.
"It's okay." You shrug. "There were a lot of people."
"We could've played beer pong together, I know you like doing that every time you're out."
Your heart clenches at his remark. You're surprised and hurt every time he remembers little things about you. "I was with Jimin, don't worry." Jungkook doesn't know the double meaning to it.
He nods and runs his fingers across your thighs. "Missed you. Sorry I didn't reply to your text earlier, got caught up in something." You know that's a lie. "Just got back from the party too, that's why I came here late." Another lie.
You nod and smile as if you believe him. And you force yourself to because it's easier than knowing the truth. It's silent for a moment before he mumbles c'mere and brings you on top of his lap.
"Missed this," he says quietly as he squeezes your thighs. His hands trail up your waist till he's squeezing your tits beneath the shirt you're wearing. You start grinding on his cock, getting out of breath too quickly. You missed this too. It's been a week since you last had sex with Jungkook which is a long time for the both of you.
"Kook," you pant. He's pinching your nipples knowing that's where you're most sensitive.
"I know, sweetheart. Take your shirt off for me, hm?"
You nod your head dumbly and do as you're told, watching Jungkook stare at your body. He stops moving beneath you and you're about to ask what's wrong when he brings his hand up to touch the hickey on your neck that Jimin left.
"Who's this from?" he asks. You can't tell if he's mad or just curious. Jungkook isn't showing any emotions on his face and you're starting to get nervous.
"Just..." You think if you should tell him the truth. You look into his eyes and try to see if there's any semblance of care. You don't know. You really can't tell. Then your eyes trails down his body, to his neck and the wrinkly white shirt he's wearing. There's a red stain on the collar and you know it's lipstick. From the girl he slept with earlier. "Someone," you finally mumble.
"Someone?" He continues rubbing the spot gently until he presses down on it with his thumb. He doesn't press down too hard, but it's with enough force to have you hissing slightly.
"It's from Jimin," you finally say. He doesn't say anything but raise an eyebrow at your reply. You don't know if he already knows that you and Jimin have slept together. He doesn't look so surprised, or maybe he is and he's just really good at schooling his expressions.
He makes eye contact with you again and you feel his hand going to the back of your head, grabbing a handful of your hair to press your lips against his. The kiss feels urgent and rushed, his tongue instantly slipping in your mouth and tangling with yours. You're on top of him yet you feel defenseless as he holds you by your hair and kisses you hard. You let Jungkook do as he pleases and forget about the little conversation you just had. You start grinding on his cock again and he reciprocates this time, hips moving against yours.
Before you know it, he rolls you over and pins your arms above your head. You stare at him with wide eyes and he smirks at you in return. He holds your wrists with one hand and takes off your shorts and underwear with the other. He's fully dressed while you're not and you know you're at his mercy. He knows this too as he spreads your thighs apart with his hand.
"Keep your hands there," he whispers. You hold your bed frame for good measure. You just want to please him. He trails kisses down your body, from your neck to your nipples to your tummy. He stops by your thighs and you feel his breath against your skin. You squirm beneath Jungkook to get him to do something, to touch you and pleasure you. He shakes his head, still with that damn smirk on his face. He starts kissing your thighs, close to your pussy just to tease you.
"Didn't know you and Jimin have a thing going on," he says against your skin. You shiver at the vibrations his voice provides.
You feel Jungkook bite down on your inner thighs. "We don't," you choke out. He scoffs and starts kissing your pussy. Just light kisses that start making you crazy because you just want his mouth on you. "We're just friends," you say weakly.
He looks up from where he's laying between your legs. "Like us?"
Us.
You know what he means but at the same time you don't. You're friends with Jimin like you're friends with Jungkook. But you don't long for Jimin like you do for Jungkook. You don't yearn for Jimin the same way, don't look for him in every place you're at, don't pine for his affection or his touches. Jimin isn't like Jungkook and you both know that. You just don't know if you're different from the other girls Jungkook fucks.
"No," you say truthfully. It's said with defeat and desperation because you know he's not going to touch you till you answer him. "Not like us."
You know Jungkook won't pry anymore because he finally starts licking your pussy, starting with your outer lips until his tongue is inside your hole licking every crevice. Then he starts sucking your clit and that's when you truly lose it, legs going around his head to keep him against your cunt.
"Fuck," you almost scream. You're so close already that you should feel embarrassed but you're not. Jungkook knows your body too well. No one holds a candle to how good he eats you out. "Please," you whimper.
"Please what, sweetheart?"
"Please make me come!" you beg. "Need it, need it so much." You starting grinding your hips against his mouth.
"You're so desperate," he chuckles. It's said meanly but the comment flies over your head. You don't care anymore; you just want some sort of release. "But not yet."
You suddenly feel cold because Jungkook removes his mouth from you, standing up and getting out of the bed to remove his clothing. You continue holding the bed frame above you because you want to be good for him. You watch him strip his clothes off till he's naked just like you, tattooed hand wrapping around his cock.
It's long and thick and it splits you open every time he fucks you. You really don't know how you manage to take him every time.
Jungkook is so mean and unfair with the way he's teasing you right now, pleasuring himself while you lay on the bed. You're about to open your mouth to complain when he finally nods his head, motioning you to get up. "Kneel. Hands behind your back, okay?"
You nod your head and get in position on the bed, head tilting up to look at his cock. It's so hard and the tip is already leaking. You just want your mouth around him.
"Open," he says.
You open your mouth and stick your tongue out, just the way Jungkook likes. As expected, he spits directly into your mouth and you swallow right away.
"Good girl. Now suck."
He brings his cock to your lips and you immediately start sucking. You push your length all the way in till you feel him at the back of your throat.
"Gotta take all of me in, pretty. Or else I won't fuck your little pussy."
You know Jungkook takes his threats seriously so you back up a little to catch your breath before taking him in your mouth again. God, he's so big and thick your jaw is already starting to feel sore. But you power through and keep taking him in your mouth until your nose touches his tummy. You try not to gag around him but it's no use. You also feels your eyes tearing up.
Jungkook doesn't care you're struggling. In fact, he loves it because he's got that stupidly handsome smile on his face. He strokes your cheeks for a while and you try to even out your breathing.
"I wanna fuck your throat, sweetheart. Can you take it?" he asks sweetly.
You know it's a rhetorical question but you nod anyways, as much as you could with a dick down your throat.
"Let me in then."
You close your eyes and relax your throat even more. Jungkook holds your head then and pushes you towards him even deeper. You're helpless since your hands are behind your back. You gag again and start feeling lightheaded.
"There we go," he finally says once his whole length is in your mouth. You feel the tip down your throat. You're struggling so much but you try not to move. You just want to please him. "Gonna move now," he mumbles and starts moving his hips. You let him fuck your throat for God knows how long. You're full on crying when he stops and withdraws his length halfway out your mouth. You take the time to gasp for air and you even cough a little, head bowing down to regain your breathing. You faintly hear Jungkook laugh above you.
"I'm not yet done, love. Was just feeling nice enough to give you a little breather."
You nod your head and look up at him, mouth opening wide to let him know you're ready again.
"You just let me do whatever I want, huh?" he chuckles. You're not sure if he means something else but to you it does. You willingly let Jungkook do anything to you. Even if it results in heartbreak.
He stares at you for a while and spreads the spit and precum that's on your lips. "So messy." Then he's back to inserting his length inside your mouth. The glide is smoother this time since you're already prepped. "There we go," he groans out. He stays still and feels the imprint of his dick on your throat. "Look so pretty for me."
Jungkook starts moving again but thankfully his pace is slow this time. You're sure you'll have a sore throat by tomorrow.
"Keep your eyes open, okay? Wanna see you cry."
You look at him while he's fucking your mouth, looking at the way his cock moves in your throat. You're starting to lose your breath and you think Jungkook could tell as well because he grants you reprieve and steps back. You're coughing more this time, hands catching yourself in front of you. You barely get enough time to regain your breathing before you feel Jungkook grabbing your head and bringing your lips to his.
"Did so good for me," he says against your mouth.
You're trembling in his hold and you grab his arms to steady yourself. "Fuck me please," you try to say but your voice comes out hoarse and ragged.
He kisses your cheek and then your jaw. "I will, don't worry," he coos. "Always gonna give you what you want." Another lie. You know that's not true.
You're putty in his hands as he maneuvers you to the position he wants to fuck you in, which is on your hands and knees with your ass high in the air.
"Just like that," he whispers. He pushes down on your shoulders even more so that you're wide and open for him. He starts rubbing your pussy and you can't help but moan out loud. "You're so wet, sweetheart. All from sucking my cock?"
You nod wordlessly from your position on the bed. "Jungkook!" you scream as he plunges two fingers in your pussy. He's ruthless as he fucks his fingers fast and hard, hitting your g-spot right away. "Please," you cry out. You're so wound up and tense and you just want to come already but he won't let you.
You hear Jungkook chuckle from behind you. "Still so tight, baby. Thought Jimin stretched you out already." You're about to reply but you feel his thumb press against your rim and your senses go haywire, mind going blank because you're so overwhelmed.
"Please, please," you beg quietly. You're crying again and you'd do anything at this point to get Jungkook to fuck you. He withdraws his fingers from your holes and you hear the crinkling of plastic behind you. You turn your head slightly to see him slipping a condom on. Jungkook has never fucked you raw and you never asked why because you already know the answer. You'll get hurt hearing the truth anyway.
He holds your hips to steady you. He rubs the head of his cock up and down your folds. "You want this?" he asks roughly.
"Yes. Please."
Finally, finally, Jungkook pushes his cock in your pussy. It doesn't take long because you're so wet he slides right in to the hilt.
"You feel so good around me." He stills for a moment and you grab your ass to spread your cheeks even more.
"Please move, Kook."
You hear him groan. "God, baby, you're filthy." He starts fucking into you and your mind goes blank. You feel his thick cock slide in and out, the tip already kissing your cervix.
"Feels so good," you mumble incoherently. Jungkook fucks you quick and hard, holding your hips so tightly you know it's going to bruise. You feel his balls slap against your clit which adds even more pleasure. You feel yourself getting close again and arch your back.
"Can I please come?" you ask through your moans. "Please let me come, Jungkook. Please—"
"Come," he finally says. It's the only word you need to hear before you let go, that coil in you snapping and bringing pleasure all over your body. You don't know you're moaning so loudly you're almost screaming. You feel your pussy just gush and it gets so wet and sticky you're surprised Jungkook doesn't slip out. It's so filthy that you hear squelching noises as well. Your orgasm goes on for so long you don't know how you're still holding yourself up.
"You creamed my cock so much, baby," Jungkook says. He slows down his pace but he's still moving so you can ride out your high. "Got me wet and even your sheets."
You barely hear him and there's just a buzzing sound around your head. Your body feels so heavy and you just want to collapse but you arch your back even more for Jungkook.
He laughs. "Think I fucked you stupid." He increases his pace again and you just kneel there and take it. "Gonna make me fucking come," he growls as his hips snap against yours. "Fuck." He fucks you some more and you groan every time he hits your g-spot.
Suddenly, he pulls out so fast. "Don't move," he groans. You stay in place and watch him remove the condom off, hand going to stroke his cock as he brings himself to his release. You feel his come on you, right on your pussy and asshole. "Fuck, baby," he groans. You feel even stickier with his load on you. Then he bends down to kiss your neck, and then your cheek, and then a gentle one on your lips.
"You okay?" he asks quietly. His arm goes to wrap around your waist and you slowly start sinking onto the bed.
"Mhm," you mumble and try to keep your emotions at bay. You always feel so overwhelmed after sex with Jungkook. You let a few tears fall down your cheeks but it's the kind of tears of relief from an intense orgasm.
Jungkook presses his front against your back, not caring that his come is still on you. He starts kissing your face again then rubs his nose up and down your throat. "Just breathe, yeah?" he says quietly. You nod weakly against his hold and do just that. The both of you say nothing as you try to calm your racing heart.
You don't know how many minutes pass by until Jungkook stands up. You don't have the strength in you to move your position on the bed or ask where he's going. A few minutes later you feel a wet rag on your back. You let Jungkook clean you up while the both of you still don't say a thing. Then he's moving you on the bed again so your head is on the pillows and he's right behind you, lying down comfortably to be the big spoon. You feel him kissing your head.
"Sleep," he mumbles against your hair. With Jungkook holding you and with his steady breaths guiding yours, you fall asleep right away.
..••°°°°••..°°••....••°°..••°°°°••..
You don't know what time it is when you wake up but there's still sunlight peeking through your curtains so you suppose it's still morning. You turn to face the other side of the bed only to find it empty. You don't know what time Jungkook left, if he stayed the night or left the moment you fell asleep. You're used to it already but it doesn't mean you're not hurt. Your heart constricts at the empty space beside you. You move again to lay on your back and cover your face with yours hands, letting out shaky breaths while trying not to breakdown. God, maybe Jimin was right. Just forget about him.
But it's hard not to. It's hard to forget about him when you have sex constantly, when his touches are gentle but also rough. When he wants you to reply to his messages and when he wants you against his body. It's hard because he's friends with your friends. It's hard when he takes care of you after every intense orgasm. It's hard when he makes it seem like he wants you just as much as you want him.
#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook one shot#bts one shot#jjk one shot#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x oc#fuckboy!jk#fwb!jk#jungkook smut#jungkook angst#mine#sab writes#jk#fwb!jungkook#fuckboy!jungkook
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landslides - 001 | goldrush - jjk
part title credit: goldrush - taylor swift
everybody wonders what it would be like to love you... i can't dare to dream about you anymore... it never will be...
pairing: officeworker!jungkook x female reader (coworkers)
premise: jungkook asks you to dog sit over chuseok. he doesn't ask you to steal the empty spaces in his head, the dreams he's yet to have, nor the idea of you always just being 'you' to him - and yet, like a thief in the night (with his own damn dog as your accomplice), you do.
warnings: fluff more than angst, but it's not clean cut - there's also a touch of smut. office worker jk, fuck boy (but kind!) jk, mentions of his workplace escapades, oc is dating mingyu (yay), oc sorta fancies jk (boo), solo masturbation (m), vivid thoughts of shagging (jk is a perv! wow! unlike me to write him as randy bastard!), lots of facetime calls, oc and jk are fundamentally flawed as a pairing, genuine friendship, daddy kink? ig? but like kinda sweet?, jungkook has a complex brain house and you've been banished to his annexe!! he also has a thing for claw clipped hair lol
wordcount: 6.8K
note from holly: so... i dogsat (? idk if thats a word) for my friend last chuseok and this was the result hahahaha. my friends dog (boba <3) is so tiny and small!! but i've always been a big dog girlie so bam was fun to write. i really love this one and have recently found all of my old notes from around that time detailing the rest of the couples lives, so pt. 2 is in progress.
minors dni // cross posted to wattpad
Bam notices the storm roll in before you do. His ears twitch, head lifting from its rested perch on his paws.
“What’s up, baby? Hey?” You coo, his sudden shift obviously prompted by something. His snout begins to twitch, too, and his bottom lip shakes as a small growl vibrates from his throat. His eyes are on the window, stalking the clouds as they roll past. “Hey.”
You sit up a little straighter to lean forward and scratch behind his ear. He leans into it, but doesn’t take his eyes away from the sky.
“You see the rain, huh?” You hum, looking between the pup and the window ahead. You can’t place it yet - it’s too far in the distance - but you find yourself coming to sit beside him. He doesn’t lean up against you like he usually does. Just continues to lightly growl.
There’s no threat behind his noises, no malice - he’s just shouting back at the thunder you can’t hear. When you see a bolt of lightning flash in the distance just beyond the city skyline, you know that it won’t be long until Jungkook’s apartment block is drenched in the weather.
It’s just gone midnight when he calls. His face is a little puffy, smile a little lopsided.
“Hey Bammie,” he coos into the camera. You’ve got it angled down to where the pup is resting his head on your knee, peacefully unwinding after his long walk. Bam doesn’t stir at Jungkook’s voice, so he tries again. “Bammie?”
The way he elongates his puppy’s name is sweet - a tone of voice reserved only for his most trusted companion. He sure as hell has never spoken to you like that.
“Sorry, bud,” you say as you lift the camera up to your face. He’s pouting. “I don’t think the vibrations sound the same through the phone.”
“I miss him,” he says not even caring to acknowledge your thought process. “Is he okay? Was he good on his walk?”
“He’s all good,” you smile. “Best boy in the world. None of the other dogs you mentioned were down at the park, so it was just us two.”
He nods into the camera and purses his lips. “They might all be away. Visiting family.” He rolls over in his bed and lets out a yawn. “How’s the apartment? Got everything you need?”
You nod back. “All good. Might have eaten my way through your cheese stash already. I’m gonna shower then head to bed in a minute.”
“Make sure you leave the bathroom door open a little,” he says. “He’ll whine if not.”
“Will do.”
“Thank you,” he says. “I really appreciate you doing this. He hasn’t been too much work, has he?”
“He’s good as gold,” you say as you switch to the back camera. The view is serene, and Jungkook’s lips instantly settle into a smile. Bam is up on the sofa with you, snuggled against your lap. The skyline twinkles through his window, the reflection of his mood lamp obscuring some of it - but he’s quietly pleased that you’re using it. It’s how he normally winds down, too. Main lights off, galaxy on his ceiling. Must make Bam feel a little more at ease. You go to scratch behind his ear, and he huffs a little, all content and cosy. “Thanks for asking. He’s never too much work. You trained him well.”
“Hmm,” Jungkook hums. “Could have trained you a little better, though.”
He laughs when you switch the camera back to your face, mouth open, brows knitted together. “Me?!”
“Yes, you,” he grins now but tries to hide it; to restore the stoicism to his face. It doesn’t work. “What did I tell you about the sofas?”
You purse your lips together as if you’re not smiling. He’s got you there, admittedly.
“Look, he’s just so cute!” Despite the fact you’ve turned the camera back onto Bam, Jungkook can tell you’re pouting. “How could I say no?!”
“Easily!” Jungkook laughs. “That’s how he became so well trained! I leave for one night and-”
“Shuuuush,” you laugh, and when the camera switches back to you, Jungkook can’t help but let his smile persist. You look tired, and so does he, but there’s something about the call that has made you forget all about the fact you were planning on going to bed soon. “My swamp now. My rules.”
“My swamp,” he protests, but the look on his face is so saccharine that you can’t take him seriously. He thinks the same could be said for you. “Anyways, it’s late. Go get your shower. If you need more towels, there are some in the cupboard by the boiler. Don’t forget to turn the vent on - it’s the switch next to the light.”
“Alright, will do,” you nod and then yawn. Bam pricks his head up. “Hey baby,” you speak to him. “Did I wake you?”
“Show me him.”
You switch the camera around to where you’re scratching at Bam’s ear. He leans his head into the scratch, thoroughly enjoying it, your long nails far scratchier than Jungkook’s. It’s not the same - Jungkook is far stronger, so is a little rougher which suits Bam just fine. Still, he likes your scratches better than no scratches at all.
Jungkook whines. “I miss him.”
“He misses you, too. Want me to call in the morning?”
Jungkook shakes his head. “We’re up early tomorrow, heading over to Haedong Yonggungsa in the morning. Probably be up before you. Send me pictures though.”
“Will do. Night, buddy.”
“Night gremlin,” he smiles, and then begins to coo. “Night Bammie. Daddy misses you.”
He wishes you wouldn’t look at him in the way that you do when he says that; lips turned upwards at the very corners, dimples pressing into your cheeks, eyes bright.
“Shut up,” he says, but you’re already laughing.
“Daddy.”
“I am his dad!”
“Daddy.”
“Oh my god, fuck off,” he laughs. “Have nightmares, gremlin.”
“Sweet dreams, Daddy.”
“Fuck off!”
You hang up before he can protest your taunts any more, though he does text you one final ‘fuck off,’ and a reminder that you can bolt his front door if it will make you feel safer.
His apartment is in a high-rise, and his neighbourhood is far nicer than yours. You do the bolt up regardless, and think that it’s sweet that he considered your comfort enough to remind you about it.
Bam sits by the sliding door of the bathroom, the tips of his paws just teetering over the line of the door frame. He rests his head on his legs, snout angled towards the hallway. It still makes you feel a little weird. You don’t really want a dog watching you shower, even if he is a dog and has no real understanding of what’s happening - so you turn your back to him and just reassure yourself that Jungkook showers with the door open wide.
It’s a funny thing, to think about your co-worker’s showering habits. Not one that you’ve ever thought to indulge in before - but Jungkook would go ballistic if he heard you refer to him as your ‘co-worker.’ You’re friends. Pretty good ones, at that.
You’re level players at your company; earn the same wage, hold the same rank. There’s not really any competition between the pair of you - you work in different departments - but are often paired together when the two sections merge for joint projects. You make for a good team.
Over the years, you and Jungkook have also learned that you’re a highly capable team when it comes to playing beer pong against your colleagues on Friday nights, and at the mixed-doubles tennis tournament that your company insists on you participating in every year. It’s either that or be on the Christmas Party Planning committee, and you know which you’d rather do.
Thinking about tinsel in August? No, thank you.
There is however one crucial flaw to your partnerships: how you live your lives. How you manage your money.
See, Jungkook is frugal. He makes big investments - his apartment, his cars, games consoles, Bam. Doesn’t spunk his cash away on the small shit. His apartment is in the heart of the city, only a few floors from the very top. He gets a birds-eye view of the world around him. You don’t even want to imagine how much his deposit cost.
Probably more than you have in your savings. You do spunk your cash away - on the small shit, no less. Clothes, cafes, that sort of stuff. Nothing that holds permanence. It frustrates Jungkook to no end. He thinks you could have a better life if you just used your money wisely - but you’re happy in your slightly cramped apartment, happy when the serotonin of a shopping spree boosts your mood, happy when you’re laughing with your friends over coffee and cake.
You wouldn’t be happy if you felt restricted. You think that Jungkook is.
He disagrees. He has enough in the bank to buy whatever he wants. He has financial freedom.
But there’s a difference. You’re both free in your own ways.
It’s for that reason you’d never work as a couple. Would infuriate one another far too much. Everyone who is close to you both knows this; how badly suited you would be. They’ll joke about all of the women in the office trying to get their mitts on Jungkook - even the married ones - but not you.
It’s funny because they’re right. Everybody wants him.
He collects stars from their eyes and accumulates them in his own. The girls blush and giggle about how he looks at them with galaxies, but they don’t realise what a thief he is. Don’t realise he’s stolen their shine, and incorporated it into his own. A spotlight follows him, and you enjoy watching the show unfold with an amused grin whenever a new secretary catches his gaze for the first time.
It’s not intentional. You don’t think Jungkook realises he does it. In fact, he hadn’t realised that it was such a pattern of behaviour until the midnight squalor of a dive bar had you talking about office conquests, and how the photocopier room had seen his bare ass more than it had seen toner changes.
“Shouldn’t shit where you eat, Jeon,” you’d grinned.
“Firstly, that’s a horrible phrase - and secondly, it takes two to tango. They’re just as much to blame as I am.”
But they’re not. He’s the only repeat offender.
“And anyways,” he had deflected, sinking down the final dregs of his beer. “Don’t act like you’re some kind of saint. Everyone’s fucked a colleague at least once.”
You’d just raised an eyebrow.
“You’re telling me you haven’t?”
“Like I said - shouldn’t shit where you eat, Jeon.”
Now, if he’d have said housemate, you would have folded. Downed your drink. Ordered a repeat round.
Something about a shared space - domestication - really gets you. It’s joint laundry loads, shared dinners, movie nights; grocery shopping, D.I.Y. furniture, arguments about who gets the bigger room. More often than not, it never matters, ‘cause you just end up staying in theirs.
You live alone now. After the third time, you knew better than to let yourself fall into the trap once more.
He learns about your affliction a few months later, and goes on tease you relentlessly.
In fact, he mentions it when he propositions you a few weeks before Chuseok. You had both spent the last couple of holiday periods overworked, slogging through the festivities. For the first time since either of you can remember, your workload has eased up.
You’ve already told him you’re planning on doing sweet, sweet fuck all. You’ve told your family you will be working, because you just want to finally breathe for a while; stay in with a tub of ice cream and your favourite films. Speak to no one. Do nothing.
“I’ve got a favour to ask you,” he had said as he approached your desk before the end of the day. It was a Friday, but you weren’t heading for after-work drinks with the usual suspects like you typically did. You had a date, instead. A third one with the same guy - Mingyu - which felt like a miracle. Even Jungkook was a little shocked that the poor guy wasn’t sick of you.
“Go on,” you had mused as you checked over your to-do list for the following week.
“You gotta promise me something first.”
“Promise you what?”
“That you won’t fall in love with me.”
You’d swatted him away the ruler on your desk, and told him to get his head out of his ass. “Been able to resist your charms this long, Jeon. Give me some credit.”
“It’s only ‘cause you know I’d reject you, you little gremlin.”
“I thought you wanted a favour? Funny way of going about it.”
“Sorry, sorry. You’re right,” he had conceded with an apologetic smile. “Forgive me.”
“What do you want?”
“How would you feel about potentially staying at mine over Chuseok to look after Bam? My parents want us to head down to Busan for the weekend and see relatives seeing as I’m finally free and know it’s a big ask but I-”
“Oh my God, yes?!” You had smiled so wide Jungkook thought you might fracture your jaw.
You love Bam.
In fact, he might just be your favourite thing about Jungkook.
Occasionally you walk him with Jungkook on the weekends, when you’re both hungover and need to get out of a slump. You’ve grown up with pets, but moving to the city in your early twenties to pursue your career meant apartment living.
You’re a rural girl deep down, and would never want to keep a pet in a high rise.
Jungkook manages it, but he goes home at lunchtime to walk Bam during the winter. In the summer, when it’s too hot, he goes home at lunch regardless, to lounge around with Bam under the air con.
Sometimes, you go with him. Bam is always pleased to see you.
Jungkook lied and said he asked around because he didn’t want to inconvenience you.
Truth is, he wouldn’t have trusted anyone else with his baby. He’d never spent a night away from Bam. Hated the idea. Despised it, in fact. He would have just taken Bam with him to Busan, but didn’t think it would be fair to force him on the journey from Seoul.
Over in Busan, when Jungkook hangs up, the conversation isn’t over. It continues in his head.
“Hey, wait…”
“Mhhm?”
“You just… look nice tonight, that’s all.”
He thinks you’d blush. Would tell him to lay off the soju. Accuse him of getting too drunk for a family get-together. He’d let you. Would take the beating of your false accusations, because it would be far easier than admitting he’s not had a single drop.
He thinks of the hug he’ll give Bam when he gets home; how wild his tail will waggle, how he’ll jump all over the place, and how you’ll be giggling. In his mind, you’ll be smiling just as wide as he is.
You’d stay for dinner. Jungkook would order from your favourite place to say thank you. Bam would snuggle up to Jungkook - on the sofa - and you’d be on the other side, stroking his back. He’d be happy. Bam, not Jungkook. But also Jungkook. Hopefully you, too.
When the time would approach for you to go home, you’d offer to help. Rinse out the containers. Hair up in a claw clip, t-shirt off your shoulder like it so often is.
Jungkook doesn’t notice, but his hands begin to trail down his body as he thinks of you. His phone is still on his chest, rising and falling with every beat of his heart. The tips of his fingers stroke against his skin.
He thinks of you laughing with him about something inconsequential. You’d flick water in his direction when he’d make some joke at your expense. It’d all be in good humour.
But then he’d flick some back at you, and water war would break out. Bam would run excitedly between the pair of you, Jungkook chasing you around the kitchen island with wet hands - and you’d do the exact same back. You’d flick water over the counter, tap still running and he’d call you a gremlin.
There’s a smile on his lips as he thinks of his. His hands roam further south. He’s ticking at his abdomen. It’s nice. Feels calm. He likes to engage his senses when he thinks of scenarios like these. Makes it feel more real.
But then he’s thinking of your shirt and the fact it’s white.
And then he’s imagining catching up with you, holding you captive as he angles the tap towards your face. You’ll be shrieking and scrambling to get away, Bam by your feet, Jungkook laughing.
He’d relent, but only enough for you to twist to face him.
Jungkook’s fingers are by his thighs. Stroking. Caressing. He’s avoiding his cock. Knows it’s firm. His index finger spreads to his balls. Teases.
And then he thinks of your body pressed against his torso, your ass to the counter.
You’d both be soaked.
He’d look at your lips. Look in your eyes. Feel your chest against his. He’d swallow hard.
It’s at this point he forgets about Bam in the scenario. It’s just you and him.
His palm rests over the length of his cock. Presses down. His hips roll.
He’d tell you that you’ve made a mess. You’d tell him to clean it up. His heart would be racing. So would yours.
And it’s funny, because his heart actually is. It’s beating so fucking hard in his childhood bedroom, that he thinks his parents must be able to hear it through the walls.
He’s in a far-too-firm single bed, but in his head, he’s with you in his kitchen.
He begins to grip his cock, long fingers wrapping around his shaft. He pulls up. Pushes back down. Says your name. Whines.
He doesn’t even really realise he’s doing it.
Just thinks about you.
Thinks about the way it would feel to sink his lips into yours; the first bite of a forbidden fruit. Thinks about that quick tongue of yours, and if it would be just as quick to find its way into his mouth. Thinks about your manicured nails that Bam loves so much, and how they’d scratch against his scalp instead. Thinks about the way his hips would rock against you, kind of like they are now; pulsing beneath his duvet.
His mind jumps. Skips the foreplay. Doesn’t mean to - but the thoughts are intrusive. Insidious. Insatiable. He can’t help it.
He pushes up into his hand. Pauses. Waits out the feeling. Retracts. Repeats.
In his head, it’s you that he’s pushing into.
The sensation is entirely different, granted, but - fuck - he hasn’t gotten himself off all week and hasn’t had sex in far longer, so it all feels the same to him.
He hasn’t worked out the mental logistics.
His imagination is jumping from the kitchen to his bedroom and then back to the kitchen again. Can’t decide where all of this is happening - and then suddenly, he finds himself railing you in the utility room.
You’re perched above the washer, held in place by him. He can smell the laundry detergent. He’s got spotlights in the room, but they’re turned off. Only lights from the hallway and the city skyline illuminate you.
It’s obscure. The shadows in his head conceal you a little. He’s gripping your waist beneath your shirt. The baby gate which keeps Bam out of the laundry room is closed.
You’re not talking, just fucking, fucking, fucking and -
“Fuck,” he whines, hand is jerking at his cock, heart rate stuttering.
He shouldn’t be thinking about you like this.
Shouldn’t let his mind jump again to a point where you’re fucking naked, and your sodden shirt is on a pile of yet-to-be-done laundry.
But then it jumps again, and one of his towels is on the floor. He’s laying down, back against it. The same position that he’s in now in his childhood bedroom - but he’s thinking about you. The silhouette of your body. The warm curves of your body. The way you bounce on his cock and then-
Oh god, it’s torture the way his cock throbs. Pre-cum leaks from his tip as his speed builds. It’s just a fantasy. Nothing more nothing less. But it’s you. And then he’s thinking about pulling you down for a kiss, and the scent of your perfume and the way you’d moan into his mouth and then his legs are shaking, torso tensing.
He’s taking it too far. Too fucking far. You. Fuck. He can’t. But he doesn’t stop. Just keeps going. Fucks his hand like it’s your pussy.
He’s pulling himself closer, closer, closer, and then he thinks about your voice, and the way you called him Daddy, and he can’t help himself. The pressure that releases in his stomach is catastrophic. Jungkook mewls your name. Calls you baby. Unloads all over himself. White hot cum paints his belly. Seeps into his belly button. Makes a mess of his hand as he coaxes the last few ropes out. It’s been a while since his last nut, but the amount he produces is not fucking normal.
It rolls down the side of his toned torso, Jungkook swallowing harshly as he tries to regulate his breathing. He doesn’t think he can. Doesn’t know what to do with himself. Just kind of lays there. Curses. Knots his brows together. Is frustrated with himself.
You’ve been friends for years. He’s never done anything like this before. He chalks it up to nothing more than him just being a little too horny for his own good. Cleans himself off. Puts his phone on charge. Berates himself for being a piece of shit. Spends a good ten or so minutes staring at the ceiling with an empty head before he falls asleep.
And it’s funny, because when you wake up in the morning, panties damp, the dream you had about Jungkook railing you in his own damn bed, you find yourself looking across the space where he usually sleeps. You reach ouch. Stroke the emptiness. Curse. Spend the rest of the day unbearably horny. It frustrates you. Makes you snappy with Jungkook when he calls.
He asks if you’ve seen Mingyu. You tell him no. He says maybe you should - but makes sure to add, “He’s still not allowed in my apartment.”
“I’m not gonna bring anyone into your space, Jungkook.”
It’s something he knows, and something he trusts you not to do, but he’s still reinforcing boundaries. Making sure that there are still some left. He thinks that if he pushes you closer to someone else, it will sort his brain out. Alleviate him of the guilt that he’s feeling.
But you don’t see Mingyu.
When Jungkook calls again that evening to find you walking Bam alone, he’s pleased. Doesn’t want some guy you’re fucking anywhere near his most prized possession. Bam, that is. Not you. But now that he thinks of it, he finds he doesn’t want Mingyu anywhere near you, either.
“Good day?” You ask, voice a lot lighter than it had been earlier.
Jungkook nods, but he doesn’t really smile. “I miss Bammie.”
You pout. “He misses you too. He’s gonna be so excited when you get home.”
The camera switches to the back camera so he can watch Bam bound along the path. He’s on his lead, snout sniffing in all the flowerbeds. It’s dark out, but there are enough lights on the trail for him to be able to see clearly.
“How is he? Eating okay? Going to the bathroom okay?”
“Eating like a champ, and producing shits to confirm that,” you say flatly. It’s definitely your least favourite part of animal ownership - but the reward is so much greater than having to pick up shit off a sidewalk.
“That’s my boy,” Jungkook grins, before turning his focus to you. “You all good? Seemed a little stressed earlier.”
Jungkook’s expression doesn’t change when the front camera flips back to you, but he finds his heart racing again. When you turn your head to check the car that’s driving past, he notices your hair is up with a claw clip. Just like it was in his… thoughts about you the night before. He likes how attentive you are - how you checked the source of the noise. You’re protective. Follow your instincts. Thinks you’re the best person he could have asked to look after Bam.
“I’m all good,” you say, and you really are.
“I know it’s not exactly the relaxing Chuseok you were planning-”
“Jungkook, it’s fine,” you smile. “It’s been nice. I like Bammie far more than I like you.”
“Understandable.”
You both smile, and Jungkook begins to babble about his day, telling you stories about his parents, and his weird cousin who never knows when to not say inappropriate things, and the aunt who keeps trying to set him up with all of her friends’ daughters.
“Don’t shit where you eat,” you remind him. “Sounds too close to home. Your auntie would never be out of your business.”
“I know, I know,” he rolls his eyes. “And hey - it’s been, like, a year since I last did that! Cut me some slack, gremlin. Anyways, Mingyu works in our building. You’re basically shitting where you eat.”
“I’m actually… I think I’m gonna cool things off with him.”
“Oh?”
“It’s like not a big deal. I’m just not really feeling it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“No, you’re right. I’m not,” Jungkook admits, but is sombre as he does so. He remembers how happy you’d seemed after the first few dates. “But I am sorry that you haven’t found the right guy yet, gremlin.”
“Who knows, maybe I’ll find the love of my life at the dog park tonight.”
“You are not allowed to use my baby as a flirting tactic.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Too late - I’m already here and there is an absolute DILF. Byeeeee.”
“Wait, no-”
You hang up before he can finish, with a grin on your face to rival a Cheshire cat.
The park is empty. Not a single DILF in sight. You ignore his call when he rings back. Will let him sweat it for a bit.
Jungkook lies awake that night.
Doesn’t do much.
His family are still chatting in the sitting room, but he can’t draw himself away from the sanctuary of his own private space, where your voice is still echoing around the room. He’s starting to understand why you’d been craving your space so much for the holiday period.
He doesn’t wanna have to return to the room with a false smile, and a feeling in the pit of his stomach that could rival the ache of getting the ferry across Busan harbour during monsoon season.
Doesn’t want to form cognitive thoughts that distract him from his mindless reflections of you.
Jungkook’s mind works like a house, and right now he’s in the annexe.
He rarely ever goes in there.
Finds he gets too comfortable and neglects the rest of the house. He’s got a garden to tend to, a kitchen to clean, and beds to make - but why would he leave the annexe when it has everything he needs? He’s comfortable there.
It’s normally reserved for the hyper-fixations he’s trying not to fixate on. He locks them away. Hasn’t really visited since he got hooked on GTA5 when he should have been studying for the University Entrance Exam. It’s still there, and he knows better than to pop it in his games console - but there’s someone else on the couch, now. It’s not just him in his mind-annexe. Someone’s in his space. He daren’t let himself go further into the room.
In fact, he’s desperately trying to jump across to the main house. Get himself out of the thoughts that are gonna consume him. He needs to close that God damn door.
But he watches the figure like a car crash. He’s scared. Unable to look away.
Not for fear of it being a monster hidden in the depths of his mind.
Quite the opposite, actually.
Monsters don’t wear their hair up with butterfly-shaped claw clips, or let the clasp of their necklace trail down their spine like that. Monsters don’t twist their back out of habit just to make it click. Monsters don’t spend their days doodling in a journal like the figure on his couch is doing.
But you do.
An iteration of Bam rests up against Jungkook’s leg in his mind, nose wet, tail lightly wagging, so he puts his hand on his pup’s shoulder for comfort. To support him. To guide him away from the annexe and back into the damn main house.
“C’mon,” he says to Bam, expecting him to leave. Expecting him to follow his commands.
It’s his head, after all - but Bam doesn’t heed his commands. Instead, his claws click against the hardwood floor and towards the figure on Jungkook’s couch. A palm outstretches, and Bam leans into it. Hums in content as a set of dark nails scratch at his ear.
“Hey, baby Bammie,” the figure sings and Jungkook knows that voice. Knows it so well that it’s hardly a surprise it’s embedded into his brain so perfectly.
And he knows.
He knows if he lets the person turn around exactly who it’s gonna be. He knows that he can’t let it happen. He won’t.
Because he and you are friends; nothing more, nothing less. Incompatible at best. A match made in hell; so wrong it could never be right.
Jungkook sits up. Shakes his head. The world in his mind tears away into darkness. He stands and tells himself to get a grip before joining his family. He needs the distraction. Needs to have cognitive thoughts. Can’t let himself get trapped. Can’t let him kid himself into thinking that you’re anything more than his friend.
It’s just cause he’s missing Bam, he reasons. Emotions are getting all mixed up. It’s the affection he feels for his beloved best friend that is getting misplaced onto you - although, if he thinks about it (which he won’t (knows better by this point (knows his mind can’t be trusted to behave))), he’d realise that you are his best friend.
It’s unfair to compare you to Bam because you’re an entirely different species, but there’s no other human he likes better than you.
One more day, and he’ll be home. One more day, and he won’t have to call you when he’s all sleepy and confused over his feelings. One more day, and things will be back to normal. One more measly day.
And then he’ll be reunited with Bam, and he won’t have the stress of family or thinking about the week of work ahead to contend with.
One more day. He can do this.
He will do it. Will barrel home at the speed of lightning; will stop only for red lights and maybe the occasional gas station snack, potato spirals on a pointed wooden skewer and deep-fried chicken slathered in a sauce he can never quite figure out the recipe for.
He’ll think about picking you up some bungeoppang - the ones filled with choux, not red bean paste - because he knows that you adore it so. There have been occasions when you’ve begged him to drive you out of the city to the large gas station out West just so you could have bungeoppang from one specific stall.
The signage is faded, and the prices haven’t changed since 2009, but that’s how you know it’s the good shit. A family recipe batter passed down for generations. The woman who makes it is always the same, and though she never remembers you, you always remember her. Beam so brightly Jungkook thinks he’s going blind whenever you spot her.
It’s only because of that one time you’d showed up with the sole mission to retrieve some of the delicious delicacies, only to be confronted with a handwritten ‘closed today, back tomorrow’ note taped to the menu. You never know when the next family emergency or trip out of town might be for your beloved bungeoppang-making Ajumma.
It’s a little after midday when Jungkook’s car rolls into the gas station. He’ll be home soon.
He tells himself that he’s just doing as he always does. Will get his tornado potato. Wolf it down. Go back for some chicken, maybe some tteok.
He’s stayed out of the annexe today. Doesn’t even think about the doorway because he knows the magnetic pull is far too strong for his cobalt heart.
Had ignored your call this morning - sorry, just saying goodbye to everyone. will see you later. - and had pushed all thoughts of you to the side. He’s even tried to stop thinking about Bam because thoughts of him will inevitably lead to thoughts of you and Jungkook is getting dizzy, quite frankly. It’s like he’s chasing his tail, never knowing when to admit defeat.
At least Bam gets enjoyment out of it when he does it. All Jungkook gets is lingering feelings of remorse.
But as he hits the home straight, a small paper bag full of choux bungeoppang cooling down on his passenger seat, his head starts to clear. He’s fixed the lock on the gate that leads to the annexe. Won’t go down that path.
Jungkook arrives ahead of schedule. Parks his car, and doesn’t tell you he’s arrived. Leaves his bag in the boot of the car, but picks up the pastries from his passenger seat.
Opens the door of his apartment quietly. You don’t hear it. Are too busy dancing around the living room with Bam to some mid-noughties classic.
“Hey,” you laugh a little breathlessly as finally notice him. He’s leaning against the wall. Is wearing his glasses, to make up for the long drive. You think it’s a crying shame he doesn’t wear them at work, too.
“Was I interrupting something?”
“No, not all,” you say. There are deep creases below your eyes, testament to the size of your smile. “Me and baby Bammie-” you reach over and stroke at his sides, a little rough and tumble, but perfectly joyous “- were just burning off a little energy before you got home.”
Jungkook crouches, arms outstretched for Bam. The puppy knocks into Jungkook’s chest, legs all moving slightly out of coordination, excitable whines sounding in his throat. His tail wags so fast you think he’d be able to produce electricity if he really tried.
They match each other’s energy; delirious happiness, content only when in one another’s presence.
“Hey buddy,” he coos. “Daddy’s home. I missed you. Missed me too, hey? C’mere.”
His strong hands stroke Bam’s sides, and you watch how playful they both are with unadulterated awe. It seems absurd how similar the two of them are; man and his best friend.
“He was lost without you,” you confirm.
“It’s that right?” Jungkook pouts as he scratches behind Bam’s ears, cradling his face in his hands. “Did Bammie miss Daddy?”
Bam barks. Yes.
“Hey, I’m sorry, boy. I’m home now, though. Daddy’s home.”
Yes, you think. Yes, he is.
The night dissolves much like Jungkook thought it would. You stay for dinner. Watch crappy entertainment shows, and laugh at how absurd people can be. There’s warmth in his apartment, even though he hasn’t turned the heating on.
“You’ll never know how much I appreciate this,” Jungkook says softly as midnight approaches. Bam sighs. There’s rain on the windows, but the storm doesn’t bother him tonight. Not in the slightest. “Thank you.”
Your head shakes. Smile perseveres. “Happy to do it. You know how much I love Bam.”
Silence wraps around your words like a velvet bow, pulled taut. There’s no double knot, but there needn’t be. It isn’t unravelling any time soon.
“So,” you change topic. “How long do you reckon it will take the new secretary to fall in love with you? I’m thinking maybe four days.”
Jungkook wants to make a joke; tease you about how your mind jumped from how much you love his dog, to the idea of loving him. Not you loving him, granted, but it only took a few electrical signals between neurons for you to get there. Must associate him with love pretty closely.
“Four days? Far too quick.” Jungkook pauses. “You’ve been staying here for four days. Reckon that’s an appropriate amount of time to fall in love with someone?”
He’s being facetious. It’s all in jest and yet you feel your heart beat a little faster. Only for a moment. There’s a mild concern in your features, fearful that he can somehow sense the thoughts you’ve been having; the fantasies, the daydreams, the moments of weakness.
You look at him with eyes he doesn’t recognise. Your lashes are low. Sultry, even. Suggestive. Teasing.
And then, they roll.
“Jeon, you have those poor girls on their knees within a single ‘hello’. Don’t act like you don’t know it, you big old flirt.”
“If Bam wasn’t so peaceful, I’d kick you,” he mumbles, stroking at the dark fur behind his pup’s ear. Bam sighs, content to have him back. There’s a smile on Jungkook’s lips. Both are perfectly content. Both are happy to be with the people they like the most in the world.
“He’d just defend me,” you taunt. There’s a serenity to your jokes, and light-hearted banter that means nothing more, nothing less than just enjoyment of one another’s company. “I’m his favourite now.”
Jungkook laughs. Scratches a little firmer behind Bam’s ear. “You hear that, boy? Gremlin really thinks you’d choose her over me.”
You pull your torso back. Turn your body to face his. Let disbelief wash over your features, as if Jungkook saying shit like that’s a surprise. The movement alerts Bam, his head lifting, the chain links of his collar rattling. He looks over to you, then back to Jungkook.
“He LOVES me.”
“I thought dogs are supposed to take after their owners, though?” Jungkook teases. “And I can’t fuckin’ stand you.”
Your playful shock dissolves into narrowed eyes and a suppressed grin. Bam’s looking at you again, so you cup his dainty face and scratch the underside of his jaw. “You hear that, baby Bammie? How are you so lovely when your Daddy is such an asshole?”
Jungkook’s steady gaze lifts to you from Bam. You’re still cooing at the puppy, scratching beneath his snout, but Jungkook’s back in that damn annexe again. He isn’t smiling - but his eyes are unbelievably soft.
So, so velvety. Like satin, maybe; ribbons tied around ponytails. Brushed cotton, perhaps; his still-warm bedsheets fresh out of the tumble dryer.
Soft, like he imagines your hair would be; released from its claw clip, falling around his face. Soft, like he imagines your lips would be; pressed against his, in the privacy of his bedroom. Soft, like he imagines your laugh would be; soundtracking the living alarm clock that is Jeon Bam, as he bundles onto Jungkook’s bed at just gone six-thirty the following morning.
But then you look up at him, and his stare is hard. Still sparkling, yes - but diamonds, not stars. Concrete speckled. Pennies tossed in an empty well; the steel bolt of his door which keeps the outside world at bay.
Hard, like he imagines your teeth would be; tugging on his bottom lip in the shadows of his bedroom. Hard, like he imagines your nails would be; leaving a trail of ruby red sin down his back. Hard, like he imagines your laboured breaths would be; lips resting ajar against his, your very essence pouring into him as he pushes into you.
Hard. Soft. Confusing and conflicting, and just so unbelievably him.
“What?” you question, bemused by the way his demeanour changed. “‘Daddy’ really gets you, huh?”
“Does fuck all for me,” he says with a little temperance, but there’s a smirk on his lips. His tongue runs along the inside of his cheek.
A few have tried the moniker on him, but it never fit well. Would fall from their lips and crash to his bedroom floor. He’d just kiss them to shut them up.
But you… You have him reconsidering. Have him a little hot beneath his sweats.
It’s not really the idea of being your Daddy, but the concept of being one full-stop that has him adjusting his legs slightly. He’s a man of big investments, after all. No greater investment than starting a life with another person. He likes the idea of it.
Makes him think of you talking with a toddler - I’m not sure, baby, go ask Daddy -and the pitter-patter of feet across the hardwood floors of his apartment. Makes him think how gentle you are with Bam, and how wonderful he knows you’d be with a kid. Makes him think all kinds of shit he’s never let himself indulge in before.
When he goes to bed that evening, and his sheets are seeped in the scent of your perfume, he thinks of it all over again.
Thinks of you.
And realises he can’t think about you without his heart racing, any more.
The door of the annexe in his mind is broken, now. Off its hinges.
And apparently, so is he.
Shit.
#byholly#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook ff#jk ff#jungkook x reader#jungkook imagine#bangtan fic#officeworker!jungkook#fuckboy!jungkook#f2l#hi bam!!!!#ian#jungkook fluff
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Bad Decisions
!here’s a lil preview of my next story hehe!
genre: collegefuckboy!jungkook, goodgirl! reader, the cliche bad boy & straight laced tutor fwb, jk is a little shit but has a soft side
warnings: future smut, basically pwp
“You know, it’s hard to focus when you look like that. Just wanna bend you over now. ” Jungkook shot a glance your way, making sure to let his gaze drop towards the ample view of your cleavage you so graciously presented him.
“Shut up, I’m in the zone.” You huffed. You were desperately attempting to study for your chemistry final, with no help from the bozo beside you who made it his life’s mission to push your buttons.
He chuckled, tattooed hand reaching to fluff the raven hair that curled around his neck. “The zone, really? You’re such a fuckin’ nerd.”
“No, I just actually care about graduating. You should too, I saw your gpa the other day.” You pointed out matter of factly. “That’s why we’re doing this in the first place, remember?”
Jungkook shrugged. “Speak for yourself. I only agreed to let you help me because your ass looked nice in that skirt.” The scoff that left your lips was soaked with irritation.
“Are you a fucking caveman? Seriously, if your brain worked half as much as your dick did you’d be the one tutoring me.”
“Ugh, you know it gets me hard when you’re mean to me. Insult me again, please.” He sighed dreamily, head dropping down onto his palm, anticipating your response.
Your features scrunched up in annoyance. “No. I seriously have to study. Just get your dick wet elsewhere.”
You don’t give him the satisfaction of looking his way, well aware that when you give Jungkook an inch, he takes a mile. As much as you yearned to play with him tonight, you needed to prepare for your upcoming final. You were already handing over more of your time than you’d like to admit to the older boy, and your grades were unfortunately starting to reflect that.
“Now why would I wanna do that?” He questioned. A lengthy yawn followed his words, arms raising above his head and allowing his lower abdomen to peek out under his white tee. Your eyes darted to the honey skin that became exposed, abruptly returning to your textbook when Jungkook caught you red handed. He smirked.
“Besides, I’ve heard a nice orgasm gets the creative juices flowing. I’m only trying to help you, Y/N.”
You despised him.
author’s note- hey y’all im finally back with a teaser, pls lmk how you like it! i wanna know your thoughts. as always ty for reading <3
#jungkook smut#bts fanfic#jungkook x reader#jungkook imagine#bts series#bts smut#jungkookxreader#fuckboy!jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook#bts jungkook
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Marry Me?
ღ pairing: you up!Jungkook x f. reader
ღ genre: established relationship au, fluff [18+]
ღ summary: Jungkook is ready to pop the question!
ღ wc: 1.5k
ღ warnings: some cursing, mention of nervousness, mention of low blood pressure, mention of alcohol, mention of passing out
ღ tags: @xmagicxshopx I’m so sorry it took so long!
ღ date: July 6, 2022
│you up? │the only one│marry me│
“This is such bull shit,” Jungkook groaned as he leaned against his motorcycle. The heat was nearly unbearable even as the sun was setting. He knew he should have come earlier but his nerves got the best of him and it was Taehyung who had insisted he go today.
“What?” Taehyung asks as he walks up to Jungkook, smirking when he sees him in his leather jacket despite the humid summer evening.
Jungkook stands up straight. He runs his hand through his hair, long locks nothing more than an annoyance as they made the back of his neck sweat. He’d need another shower once he got back home.
“Just this heat, man,” Jungkook grunts as he wipes his forehead. “It’s too fucking hot.”
Taehyung chuckles. “Come on, Romeo. Let’s get inside.”
“Yeah, fuck this heat.” Jungkook nods as he follows his best friend into the shop.
“Welcome!” the shopkeeper greets them.
“Sup?” Taehyung responds and Jungkook elbows him. Taehyung raises a brow. “What?”
“Be nice, that’s my mom’s friend,” he hisses in response.
“Shit,” Taehyung curses and the shopkeeper looks pale.
“Ignore him, Lizzie. I apologize for his existence,” Jungkook sighs, ignoring the glare his best friend is sending his way.
“Your mom said you’d be stopping by soon,” Lizzie says happily. She moves to the side, opening a glass case and taking out a small box that she opens to show the ring. “For this?”
“Ah, mom spilled the beans, huh?” Jungkook rubs the back of his neck.
“She’s excited! She never thought you’d be proposing to someone,” Lizzie admits. “Neither of us did but we love Y/N so much! We’re so happy for you!”
Taehyung chuckles. “Ooh, you’re asking her to marry you? Fuck! Finally! You know, my girl’s been asking when you were gonna ask.”
Jungkook grows nervous, biting his bottom lip. “It’s a big step, Tae. I wanted to make sure we were ready. That I was ready.”
“And when are you asking your partner, Tae?” Lizzie asks him pointedly.
Taehyung starts sweating. He can feel the clamminess in his palms as he shoves them into the front pockets of his pants.
“I-I-I don’t know!”
Lizzie grins. “We have a lovely selection right here if you wanna have a look.”
Jungkook catches the wink Lizzie sends his way as Taehyung starts to panic, stepping backward until he bumps against a mannequin dressed as a bride. Tae apologizes, pulling on the collar of his shirt to fan himself. Suddenly, the ticking of the wall clock is too loud and the walls are closing in on him.
“She’s kidding, Tae.” Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“Anyway,” Lizzie laughs as she turns her attention to Jungkook. “I can’t wait to hear the good news. Don’t think too much about it, okay? It’s okay to be nervous but we’ve all seen the two of you together throughout the years and you’re perfect together.”
“I’ve grown a lot since I met her. Fuck knows I was an ass to her for a while,” Jungkook shakes his head.
“I know that’s right,” Taehyung mutters under his breath.
Jungkook looks over his shoulder to glare at him. He raises the ring in his direction and Taehyung has to sit down for a moment, his heart beating faster and faster as his blood pressure drops.
“Such a baby,” Jungkook scoffs.
“He’ll come around,” Lizzie chuckles as she hugs Jungkook. “Now peel him off the floor and bring him back when he’s ready to propose to his sweetheart.”
“Will do! Thanks, Liz!” Jungkook waves as he tucks the little box into his leather jacket pocket. He settles his feet on the floor, his heavy combat boots sturdy as he sticks his hand out for Tae to take before he hauls him to his feet.
“You’re such a drama queen, you know that?” Jungkook rolls his eyes as they leave the shop.
“I know how to have a good time,” Taehyung giggles. “Besides, don’t you feel more at ease now?”
Jungkook doesn’t answer, because he knows Taehyung’s over-the-top behavior was his way of calming him down and he appreciated it.
“Come on, I need a drink.”
“We’re just having dinner,” Jungkook assures you as you walk into a restaurant you had frequented.
“Why is it so quiet?” you ask as you take Jungkook’s hand.
“I asked for a private dining room. I didn’t want too many distractions. Besides, Taehyung heard we were coming here for dinner and said he’d show up,” Jungkook lies.
“We could have added him and his girlfriend to our reservation,” you say as the hostess greets you and leads you down a hallway you’ve never been to. You thank her when you arrive at your dining area, taking a seat as the hostess leaves.
“No,” Jungkook shakes his head. “He would have found a way to get us banned from here.”
You laugh because it’s true. Taehyung had a love for theatrics and had been banned from a few establishments in the city.
“Fair enough,” you say as you see the door open and a waiter walks in.
Jungkook is nervous as he sits across from you. Thus far, dinner has been going smoothly. He keeps looking at the time, trying to ease his nerves but this has been coming for years now. The both of you had plenty of talks about the future. A home, a marriage, a family. Everything just seemed to fall into place.
Jungkook was ready to be a husband. He had changed so much since that night he had shown up at your door, sobbing into your arms. You had been apprehensive at first, slowly earning each other’s trust and building your relationship from the ground up. Jungkook had changed his number, cut everyone off, and never gave you a reason to doubt him. He loved you, so much and didn’t ever want to lose you.
It had taken weeks for Taehyung and Jungkook to talk, to be friends again, and even longer for Taehyung to introduce you to his girlfriend but the two of you hit it off almost immediately, as long as you didn’t mention your romps with her man.
The box in Jungkook’s pocket seemed to burn as time went in. He couldn’t even appreciate his meal as you finished. You were wiping your hands on your cloth napkin, making sure your nails were holding up. You had gone to get them done that morning with Taehyung’s girlfriend, gotten your toes as well. You had been going every few weeks for the past year in preparation for tonight, though that was something you were unaware of.
“Would you like to have dessert in the garden?” The waiter asks as he comes to clear your table.
“That sounds lovely, thank you,” Jungkook says as he rises from his seat. His heart is racing. He wonders if he’ll pass out before he even makes it to the garden.
“Come, baby girl,” Jungkook helps you out of your seat as you lace your fingers together. He leads you down a different hallway, where the hostess meets you and opens the doors that lead to the garden.
Upon entering the garden, the doors shut behind you, and music starts to play. You look to the right and see a string quartet playing a familiar song.
You turn back to Jungkook but are in awe when you see the candles and rose petals leading to a giant sign spelling out MARRY ME? With Jungkook taking your hand in his.
“Jungkook!” you exclaim as tears pool in your eyes.
Jungkook smiles, tears rolling down his cheeks as you stand in front of the sign. The lights blink as he drops to one knee and your hands cover your mouth.
You’re shaking your head yes before he’s even asked and he laughs. “Wait for me, baby.”
“I’m sorry,” you whisper in between laughs.
“I know we started off rocky. I was immature. I wasn’t the commitment type. I could go on and on but one thing I know for sure. I love you, baby girl. There’s nobody else I’d rather have by my side. You’re my other half, and I want to be yours now and forever. Will you marry me?” Jungkook asks as he looks up at you.
“Yes! Yes!” you jump and Jungkook gets to his feet. He’s grinning brighter than you’ve ever seen as he pulls you into a hug, careful not to fumble the ring.
Jungkook takes your hand in his, slowly sliding the ring onto your finger and you admire it. It’s beautiful!
“I love it!” you gush as you hug him before pressing your lips to his. “I love you!”
“I love you too, baby,” Jungkook says as he holds you close.
The doors open again and you turn as cheers fill the garden and your family and friends file in. There’s confetti and whistles blown as you’re pulled into hugs.
Jungkook smiles at you, blowing you a kiss as you’re engulfed in another hug by a family member.
“I love you,” you whisper when you’re reunited again. Your family and friends are celebrating while the two of you take a moment to yourselves. Jungkook wraps his arms around you, his forehead pressed to yours.
“I love you,” he kisses your cheek.
You lace your fingers together, your ring sparkling. “Just us?”
“Just us.”
thank you for reading! ♡ if you liked it, please let me know! 💌
© jjungkookislife - I do not allow reposts or translations of my work on any platforms, this includes Youtube.
#bangtanarmynet#btshoneyhive#clubzerooclock#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader insert#jungkook x you#jungkook fluff#jungkook drabble#you up? jungkook#you up? drabble#fuckboy!jungkook
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Night After Night
Established relationship au
Pairing: Fuckboy bf! Jungkook x Reader
MINORS DNI
Genre: lovers to exes to exes to lovers, Mostly crack, fluff, and smut but a little bit of angst because I'm a bitch.
Words : 17.6k
Summary: "Show you what devotion is, deeper than the ocean is".... You broke up with your boyfriend because he couldn't let go of his fuckboy antiques now he's gonna win you back whatever it takes.
Warnings: Toxic relationships, Jungkook is the biggest red flag but we love him, SMUT [ ITS FILTHYYY, FINGERING, ORAL SEX (Both receiving), PENETRATIVE SEX ( Vaginal), UNPROTECTED SEX (Don't be stupid like Jungkook, please)].
A/n: This is unedited, no proof reading done.
*******
For the thousandth time this evening, you couldn't help but roll your eyes as you witnessed your boyfriend, once again, openly flirting with another girl in your presence. It wasn't as if he was unaware of your presence, and he wasn't doing it secretly behind your back either. He knew very well that you were right there, and the irony was that he was supposed to fetch you a drink when he stumbled upon a pair of boobs on the way.
'Baby, it will be fun,' he had said when he insisted on taking you to this party. Yet now, you found yourself sitting awkwardly on a filthy couch, uncomfortably witnessing two guys passionately making out while your so-called boyfriend indulged in flirting with the brunette, who had her hands all over his biceps. You could bet a million dollars that he was flexing them right now.
When you first met Jungkook in your college, he had the title of the biggest fuckboy of the campus and a snap score of 3 million, yes 3 million and if that's not the biggest red flag then what is? But despite the fuckboy behaviour he was a decent person. After trying (and succeeding) to get in your pants at the frat party you first met, he asked you out on a date. And of course you said yes. He gave you the full date experience, in fact it was one of the best dates you had in a while.
He took you to the movies and was respectful, keeping his hands to himself throughout the outing. During the date, he took care of you, ensuring you were well-fed and enjoyed yourself. Afterward, he even made the extra effort to drive you home in his own car, instead of that death ride he usually brings to college. He was so determined to show you that it wasn't just about sex that he didn't even insist on kissing you at your door, it was you who dragged him inside by his collar to fuck you senseless.
Jungkook surprised you, everyone else and himself when he asked you to be his girlfriend only after three dates. And he was really really sweet so you said yes. To show you how devoted he was to you and how he only had eyes for you he didn't even look at other girls let alone flirt with. But that only lasted for two months. Yes, once a fuckboy always a fuckboy. Although Jungkook remained faithful and never slept with anyone else or outright cheated on you, he still indulged in flirting and entertaining any other woman he found even remotely attractive.
Initially, you tried to dismiss it as harmless flirting, but as time went on, the situation became increasingly unbearable. The only thing preventing you from ending the relationship was the fact that he genuinely loved you. Jungkook proclaimed his love for you just three months into the relationship, whereas it took you more than six months to reciprocate those feelings.
You knew Jungkook loved you because he never failed to show you. God, the extremities that boy has gone to show you how much he loves you. One time he ran 12 miles to get to you because you sprained your ankle and was in the hospital and his car was stuck in traffic. Later he ended up fainting from exertion and you found yourself taking care of him instead. It was still really sweet gesture from him.
Once Jungkook managed to free himself from the other girl's company and arrived with a big smile and your favorite beer in hand, you promptly got up and headed towards the front door, leaving your boyfriend behind in confusion.
"Where are you going?" Jungkook asked, following you outside.
"Home." You were already ordering an uber.
"We are leaving already?"
"No, Jungkook. I am leaving already."
"But why? We were having fun."
"Again, no. You were having fun, I was just asked by two guys if I wanted to have a threesome."
"What guys?" Oh the hypocrisy.
"That's not the point JK," you finally snapped, turning to confront your boyfriend. "You're the one who dragged me to this pathetic party, and instead of being there with me, you spent 20 minutes flirting with some random chick."
"Baby, you know that was harmless."
"Again with that FUCKING EXCUSE."
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry, ok? You know I only have eyes for you. I don't even remember her name."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better? I'm leaving."
"Let me take you home, ok?"
"I already booked a ride."
"No, those things are dangerous at night. I'm not letting you leave in a cab," he insisted, without waiting for your reply he led you to the parking lot where his Harley was parked. Without any further protests, you let him firmly place your helmet on your head. Within just a month of dating, Jungkook had already arranged customised helmets for both of you as a couple. Though it might have seemed a bit tacky to some, it was his way of expressing a significant commitment, almost like a symbol of marriage in his eyes.
The ride was silent. Only him rubbing your thighs once in a while. You had time to think the whole ride. Contemplate every situation till now that has led up to this moment. Every time that he had flirted with other women and made you feel like shit, invisible. Every time he says 'oh but baby, at the end of the day I come back to you.' You have decided. You were done feeling like shit.
As the motorcycle came to a halt, you realized he had brought you to his place instead of your own. While you hadn't officially moved in together, it felt like you practically had, given the amount of time you spent there and the belongings you had at his place. The fact that he took you there didn't even surprise you; it was a place that felt like 'home' to both of you.
"Jungkook why'd you take me to your place. I said take me home."
"This is home, baby." He said helping you off his bike and taking off both of your helmets. "Let's just go upstairs and talk this out, then I'll make you cum and we'll go to sleep."
The short elevator ride to the upstairs apartment felt much longer, with neither of you uttering a word. As you entered and took off your jackets, you let out a sigh. The impending conversation was something you had been dreading, but you knew there was no other option; it had to be done. The atmosphere was heavy with tension as you prepared to address the issues that had been bothering you.
"Jungkook."
"Baby." He mocked your tone.
"Sit down." You pointed at the couch.
"Is this an intervention?" He asked with a grin.
"Just sit." He followed your order and stared at you with those big doe eyes that stopped you from breaking up with him until now. "I love this POV. Your tits look amazing."
"Jungkook, be serious."
"Why, do you keep calling me Jungkook. It's Koo and Baby for you."
Ignoring the comment you continued with your speech.
"Jungkook... I, I don't think this is working anymore." You said.
"What is not working? Baby, we're fine."
"No we're not. I've been waiting for you to grow out of this...fuckboy phase but it's been three years, Jungkook and you still haven't changed. It's even worse now."
"Come on, is this about Ally?"
"So you do remember her name."
"Does it matter? It was just some harmless flirting, I swear. I even told her I have a girlfriend."
"Oh, I'm so flattered," you retorted, the sarcasm evident in your voice, which seemed to annoy him slightly. Your frustration and displeasure were clear, as you couldn't overlook the impact of his behavior on your feelings.
"Look, what am I supposed to do? Stop talking to women? Is that what you want?"
"Oh my god, do you not see?" you exclaimed, your emotions pouring out. "You entertain them and flirt with them, and it makes me feel terrible, Jungkook. I'm your girlfriend, yet you don't even bother to introduce me to these women. And you call it harmless flirting? What about this?" You pulled out a piece of paper from his front pocket, confronting him with evidence of his actions.
"I had no idea she slipped it in my pocket."
"I saw you take it from her."
"But I was not going to call. I swear, baby. You know I would never. I only took that so-"
"So what? So she would wait around the whole night for you to call? That's even worse."
"Babe, look. I'm sorry. I'll do anything you want me to do. I made a mistake and I won't do it again, I promise. I swear on it."
"You don't have to. You can call her if you want to. We are done here," you declared firmly, your decision made. His eyes widened in response to your decisive words, realizing the gravity of the situation.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I'm breaking up with you, Jungkook. It's just not working for me anymore. I'm so tired of your behavior," you expressed with a heavy heart. He was now on his knees before you, tears welling up in his eyes but not yet streaming down his cheeks. Despite the pain, you knew that ending the relationship was the best decision for your well-being and emotional health.
"No no, baby, no. We are not breaking up."
"No. Jungkook we're done."
"No."
"What do you mean no? This is not how it works."
"I'll be better, ok? I promise. Please don't break up with me. I can't live without you. Please. I'll do anything you want. I'll prove it to you." The tears were falling down now. And as much as it hurt to watch him cry you were going to stand firm on your decision. "Let me make it up to you, baby. Please." When his shaking lips made contact with yours you couldn't push him away. One last time wouldn't hurt right? Maybe you'll give him this one last time. God knows he needed this. You needed this.
So you let him. Didn't stop him when he picked you up and took you to yo- his bedroom, Laid you down on his bed, undressed you. You didn't stop him when he kissed down your body, brought you to your high with his mouth. You let him love you one last time.
******
Breaking up with Jungkook had been difficult, and it's been a week since then. The impact of the breakup weighed heavily on you as well, despite your decision being the right one. You cared deeply for him, though maybe not to the same extreme extent as he did for you, it seemed his love for you bordered on being overly intense and possibly unhealthy.
The breakup had also left you feeling deeply saddened and missing him greatly. However, the impact on Jungkook was even more profound, and describing it as devastating would be an understatement. The next day, as you began getting ready to leave, you noticed Jungkook gazing at you with a lost and vulnerable expression, like a bewildered bunny. It was heartbreaking to witness, and you had to gently remind him that you had broken up with him the night before. The pain of the breakup was evident in his eyes, and it made the situation even more challenging for both of you.
"But, baby we had sex."
"Sex doesn't fix everything, Jungkook. I'm still breaking up with you. It was goodbye sex."
Jungkook was frantic when he realised you were serious about the breakup. Begged you to stay but you had already made up your mind.
Seeing the overwhelming number of missed calls and text messages from your ex-boyfriend, you let out a sigh. Despite the breakup, he was persistently trying to reach out to you, with all the messages saying almost the same thing. While you believed that blocking someone was immature and didn't want to stoop to that level, his relentless badgering was becoming too much to handle. If he continued this behavior, you might eventually have no choice but to block him on your contacts and social media platforms.
As your phone blared for the 58th time, your coworkers shot glares in your direction, clearly annoyed by the constant interruptions. Feeling apologetic, you flashed them a smile and finally picked up the phone.
"I swear to god, Jungkook. I will block you if you don't stop calling me."
"Baby-"
"No, Jungkook. No baby. We broke up remember?"
"You broke up with me, I never accepted it. You're still my baby."
"Jungkook I'm serious. Stop calling me. I will block you."
"You won't."
"Try me."
"Come outside?"
"What? Kook, I'm not home."
"I know. I'm outside your office. They won't let me in."
"Yes I told them not to. What are you doing here? Jungkook you have a job too, you know that right?"
"I know. But it's not important right now."
"Not important right now? That's your only source of income." You reminded him, resting your forehead on your hand.
"I don't care. What will I do with the money if you're not with me?"
"Pay your bills?"
"Come outside. I wanna see you."
"I can't. I already had my lunch break. Look, Jungkook, just go back home, ok? Don't do this to yourself. I'm hanging up. Don't call me again or I will block you." You ended the call without waiting for a reply, and the calls finally stopped, but the messages persisted. Deciding it was necessary for your peace of mind, you muted his contact to temporarily shield yourself from the continuous messages.
It was 4 hours later you were exiting the office building with your coworkers when one of them pointed something out.
"Is that Jungkook?" Sherry said and you turned your attention to where she was pointing, and to your surprise, there was Jungkook sitting on one of the benches just outside the building. He stood up with a hopeful smile and waved at you as you approached. His unexpected appearance caught you off guard, and you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions at seeing him again after the breakup.
"You guys go. I'll talk to him."
As your coworkers questioned if you were okay, you gave a simple nod to reassure them. However, you couldn't hide the glare in your eyes as Jungkook approached you. The mix of emotions inside you was evident, but you tried your best to maintain composure in front of your colleagues.
"What are you still doing here, Kook?"
"Well you told me not to call you again and your guard wouldn't let me in so I had no other option."
"Yes you did. You had the option to go home."
"But I wanted to see you." Oh god it was frustrating. You are not even surprised that he's acting like a child. He has always been like this, nagging and pestering until you give him what he wants. You are actually more surprised by the fact that he waited a whole week before showing up at your workplace.
"So what you just wait here for 4 hours?"
"No .. 8 hours. I've been here since morning."
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"
"No. Ask your guards. We are friends now." You closed your eyes to calm yourself.
You spoke with concern in your voice, realizing that Jungkook's actions were not healthy for him. "Jungkook, this is not healthy… Why are you doing this to yourself?" you asked, genuinely worried about the toll the breakup was taking on him. You understood that he was struggling with the situation, but his continuous attempts to contact you were not helping anybody.
"Baby, I'll do anything to prove to you that I want you back."
You expressed firmly, "That's not going to change anything. We are not getting back together." You reiterated your stance, hoping he would come to accept it and eventually find a way to move forward.
"You're saying that now."
"No. My answer is not going to change." He looked unconvinced. "At least tell me you ate something?" a small smile crept across your face as you heard his stomach loudly grumble in response to your question. You decided to set aside your differences momentarily and focus on making sure he was okay in the present moment.
"You still care about me?" Of course you still cared about him. You didn't break up with him because you don't love him anymore, you broke up because he was an asshole and you realised he was never going to change. And you have to keep reminding yourself that. He's never going to change.
"Where's your bike?"
"I didn't bring it. I don't like riding without you holding me."
"Did you bring your car at least?"
"I walked."
"You walked?"
"I figured that when you come back to me, we'd have to deal with the hassle of taking both of our cars back home and riding separately, which I didn't want to go through. So, I decided to walk instead."
"You're unbelievable." He just smiled at you as if it was a compliment. All you wanted was to go home, miss him to death and cry yourself to sleep while holding his old shirt. Was it too much to ask?
His stomach grumbled again. As if asking you to feed him. Jungkook knew he was not only torturing himself but you as well. Was this his strategy? Annoy you back in his arms?
"Fine. Let's go?"
"Are you taking me home?"
"No. I'm taking you to eat something."
"Then you're taking me home so I can fuck some sense into you and we can get past this?"
"You know what? I'm leaving. Die starving."
"No I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please feed me."
Despite your current feelings of frustration and hurt towards Jungkook, you chose to bring him to your home that night. It wasn't for any romantic reasons or to give in to his demands. Instead, you prepared a home-cooked meal for him, knowing that he likely hadn't been eating well, surviving on ramen, cereal, and a whole lot of alcohol. And you couldn't let him go to sleep hungry, so you set aside your emotions and cared for him, making sure he had a satisfying and enjoyable meal.
*******
"You know you can't take him back right? He's very toxic for you."
On that Sunday evening, you and your best friend, Jimin, had a movie night planned to lift your spirits. The hot topic of discussion was none other than Jeon Jungkook. Unlike the rest of your friends from college who always cheered for your relationship with Jungkook, Jimin was the only one who never rooted for you two. He had always expressed his concerns about Jungkook, labeling him as toxic, and reminding you that you deserved better. Back in college, you used to get upset with him, feeling he was always negative. Ironically, as time passed, you realized that Jimin was the only one who consistently stuck by your side, while your other friends became distant.
"I know I know. But you should have seen his face, Jimin. I felt like I kicked a puppy."
"So you just took him back to your place?"
"Only to feed him, I kicked him out after, I swear."
"Really?" Jimin asked, keenly observing the guilty expression on your face. He had an uncanny ability to detect when you were lying, almost like a human lie detector. You knew you couldn't hide anything from him, and in this moment, you couldn't escape his discerning gaze.
"Ok, fine, He did stay longer than I initially said," you admitted, knowing that Jimin could see through your attempt to hide the whole truth. His raised eyebrow made it clear that he was onto you. You confessed, knowing you couldn't keep anything from your perceptive friend. "We might have had sex on the kitchen counter... And the couch... And my bedroom. But I swear that's it. I'm not lying, I kicked him out and told him it was a mistake right after. Didn't even wait till morning."
The way Jimin said your name almost made you hide out of shame. "You can't retaliate. What happened to 'we are never getting back together'? Taylor Swift will be very disappointed in you."
"I know. I know, it was wrong. It was just a moment of weakness. I swear to god it won't happen again."
Feeling guilty and conflicted after Jungkook left, you realized he might have misunderstood, thinking there was still a chance but you were still determined to not give him another one. You knew you shouldn't have done what you did that night but God did it feel good. You knew for a fact that Jungkook had already ruined you sexually for any other men or your hands or even your vibrator. You tried doing it three times after breaking up with him but not once could you bring yourself to orgasm. You just gave up after the third time, just accepted the fact that you're not going to have an orgasm ever again. People live without having orgasms right?
That is why, when Jungkook stood so close to you last night, your body seemed to betray your intentions, and you found it hard to resist him. The lingering emotions and history between you both created a pull that was difficult to ignore.
As you cleaned up the kitchen after feeding Jungkook, you hoped he would leave soon. Knowing his tendencies, you knew he would try to sneak into your bed if you went to sleep while he was still there. So, you waited for the right moment to gather enough courage to kick him out. However, Jungkook had different plans in mind. Sneaking up behind you, he cornered you against the kitchen island, catching you by surprise. The close proximity left you heavy breathed and questioning your own decision.
In the heat of the moment, everything felt like a blur, and you couldn't recall who initiated the first move or who kissed whom first. It all happened so quickly. One second he was thanking you for the dinner, and the next, he was kissing you passionately, pulling you into the moment so deeply that you momentarily forgot about the complexities of your situation. You only remember how you were so desperate that neither of you even bothered undressing completely before he thrusted deep into you on that kitchen counter. You only remember cumming as he carried you to the couch and you rode him there. You only remember him slowly laying you down on your bed and making love to you.
"You're right, Jimin. I need to be stronger. I can't let him get to me like this. You know what? Next time, I'm not even going to look at his way if he shows up."
"Yes, that's the spirit. Ignore him like all those times he ignored you while flirting with that girl from the boba place." The expression of your face immediately turned sour after hearing his words. "I'm sorry. Too soon?" You only nodded in response.
"I can't believe I kept giving him chances after chances for so long. I should've listened to you in the first place; guys like Jungkook never change," you admitted, feeling regretful for not heeding Jimin's advice earlier. Reflecting on the past, you realized that you had been hopeful that Jungkook would change, but now you understood that some people's behaviors remain consistent despite the chances they are given.
"It's still not too late." As if on cue, there were a series of knocks on your front door, and you knew all too well who it was. The familiarity of Jungkook's knocking left you feeling a mix of emotions. Gosh, was it pathetic that you could tell Jungkook from the way he knocks? "Did you order something?" Jimin asked, raising an eyebrow as he noticed the look on your face.
"No. It's Jungkook."
"How do you know."
"I know." The knocks grew more impatient.
"Should we not open the door?"
"No. Let's ignore him." You said turning up the volume of your tv.
"Baby, did you change the locks? My key's not working." Instead of asking Jungkook to give back your keys you had settled for the less agonizing option and got your locks changed.
"Let's just pretend that we're not home," you suggested to your best friend. Hoping to avoid any confrontation, you both waited until the knocks finally stopped after what seemed like five minutes. Relieved, you thought your plan had worked, and you both resumed watching the movie. Unbeknownst to you, your ex-boyfriend had other plans and was determined to come inside some other way if you didn't let him in.
Jungkook had never been one to give up easily, whether it was in sports, academics, or winning back his girlfriend. He was determined to do whatever it took to have you back in his arms. Realizing his mistakes, he was now ready to redeem himself. Jungkook had heard about grand romantic gestures that people used to prove their love, and he was determined to do the same for you. Some people run through airports to stop the love of their life, while others write a hundred letters to confess their love. In Jungkook's case, he was willing to risk his life and climb seven floors to reach you, showing the depth of his determination to make things right.
Both you and Jimin were startled as the silence was broken by loud knocks on your bedroom window. The sudden sound startled both you and Jimin as you looked at each other thinking the other might have the answer.
"Is that-?" Jimin couldn't even finish his sentence before you swiftly got up and ran towards your bedroom. It was indeed Jungkook hanging outside your bedroom window.
"Oh my god, Jungkook, are you fucking kidding me?" You quickly opened the windows, concerned that he might fall and get seriously hurt. Jimin followed you to your bedroom and raised his eyebrows at the scene in front of him. You were screaming at Jungkook while he tried to explain himself, hanging from the window.
"This is what I've always been talking about," you continued in frustration, "You always act like a fucking child, doing ridiculous things to get your way. It's just ridiculous. You can't always get whatever you want by pulling stunts like this. You could seriously get injured, you seem to have no regard for yourself or anyone else. I'm so fuc-"
"Dude, what the hell are you doing?"
"None of your business. I want to talk to my girlfriend."
"Ex girlfriend."
"I said none of your business."
"Seriously, what the hell are you doing?" This time it was you asking, exasperated, as Jungkook continued to hang from the flimsy pipe outside your window. The precarious situation he put himself in only added to your frustration and concern.
"You weren't opening the door, what was I supposed to do?"
"NOT CLIMB UP THE FUCKING WALL LIKE A CREEP?"
"Can I please come in now? I don't think I can hold on to this pipe much longer." You and Jimin quickly helped the boy inside.
"Chim, can you please wait outside? I need to talk to him," you requested, and Jimin obliged, but not before warning Jungkook not to try anything or he would kick his ass. Jimin might have been smaller than your ex in size but damn that man can fight. With Jimin gone, you turned your attention back to Jungkook, ready to confront him about his reckless behavior and demand some answers.
"Care to explain yourself?"
"Baby, I miss you. So fucking much. You have no idea."
"This is insane. You have to know you're crossing a line, Jungkook. Not only are you acting like a fucking child, you're also putting your own life in danger."
"I know, I know I'm acting crazy. But how else do I show you how much you mean to me."
"Jungkook, if I meant to you that much you wouldn't make me feel like a shit in the first place."
"And I am sorry about that. I promise to be better, I wouldn't look at another woman ever again."
"Do you realize how many times we've had this conversation? It's too many, Jungkook," you expressed, "You always say the same things, but then you repeat the same mistakes all over again. I can't keep going back to you; it's just not healthy for either of us," you firmly stated, making it clear that you were determined to break this cycle and move on from the relationship.
"Baby, pl-" he walked closer to you only for you to back away.
"And you need to stop acting like this. You can't always act on impulse, you could've seriously hurt yourself."
"It's nothing. It's not that high anyway."
"It's seven floors."
"Actually, 8. I miscalculated, and well, you might wanna avoid Mrs. Katz for a while," Jungkook admitted with a hint of amusement in his voice. Despite the seriousness of the situation, you couldn't help but laugh a little at his confession. Oh how much he had missed your laugh, he has always told you that you have the most beautiful laugh he has ever heard and to go without hearing it for more than a week? It's just torture.
"You have to leave."
"At least let-"
"No. Jungkook please, I can't do this. Not right now. You have to go," you said running your hands through your hair. "I miss you too, I really do. You have to understand that this is hard for me as well. And you doing all these things is not making anything easier. So please, for me, just leave." A single drop of tear fell down your left eye, you didn't have it in you anymore to back away as he walked toward you.
"Fine, I'll go now. But I won't stop," he declared, stopping right in front of you. "I won't stop until you realize that you're the one that I want. I won't stop until I convince you that you're the one for me, and I love you more than anything in this world. I'm not giving up on you, on us, baby. I don't care how long it takes, I'll beg you every day if I have to, but I won't stop until you come back to me."
His words were sincere, and you could see the determination in his eyes. A part of you desperately wanted to give in, to feel his embrace again, but you were also afraid. Afraid of going through the same cycle, afraid of getting hurt again. The conflict between your heart and mind was tearing you apart as you stood there, facing the man you still loved, but uncertain of what to do next.
He leaned closer, and you instinctively closed your eyes, expecting a kiss, but instead, you felt a light brush of his lips against your forehead. His touch was gentle, his thumbs wiping away your tears, and his lips seemingly kissing the tension away. He stayed like that for a few seconds, leaving you with mixed emotions as he showered you with affection. And with that, he left, not sparing a glance at the man in your living room. As he walked away, you couldn't help but feel a whirlwind of emotions, torn between the love you still held for him and the need to protect yourself from potential heartache.
Like a good friend, Park Jimin didn't ask you any questions. He simply held you close, providing a comforting embrace as you sniffed against his chest all night.
*******
It's been almost a week since that conversation you had with Jungkook in your bedroom, and it's now apparent that you have a stalker. He's been following you around like a lost puppy for the better part of the week. At first, it was annoying, and you had frequent arguments with him about his behavior. But as the days passed, you've grown somewhat accustomed to his presence. Now, you mostly ignore him as he follows you around the city, giving him only the occasional side-eye before continuing with your daily routine.
Jungkook's constant presence has become both annoying and puzzling. You're not sure how he manages to track your every move or who leaked your information to him, but he seems to be everywhere. If you were riding the subway he was there sitting across you, if you were in a bar with your friends he was there scaring away all the guys that approached you, even when you were on office lunches he was sitting two tables away smiling at you. If it was anyone else it would have been creepy and you would hand them to the police but with Jungkook, sure it was annoying but also... Cute?
Sometimes he approaches you to say something or brings you flowers, while other times he simply waves at you from a distance or quietly observes you while you talk to your friends at a restaurant, much like he is doing now.
"Not to alarm you or anything but there's a really really hot but kinda creepy guy has been following us for 20 minutes now, I'm guessing more but I have only noticed him for 20," Mia was new in the city and in your office, she was also one of your only colleagues who has never seen Jungkook or didn't know who he was. Today you have taken Mia out for lunch and to show her around the city like she so politely asked you a few days ago.
"Don't look right now, but he's standing across the street, and he's looking right at you," Mia whispered, her tone laced with concern. "Should we lead him to the police station?"
Her words of concern brought a chuckle from you, which seemed to confuse Mia. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on you, as Jungkook's persistent presence had become a bizarre and somewhat amusing part of your daily life. While Mia saw him as a potential threat, you couldn't help but find his actions, however creepy they might be, somewhat endearing. You assured Mia that you could handle the situation and that there was no need to involve the police.
You turned around to see Jungkook holding a roughly wrapped bundle of sunflowers and waving at you as soon as your eyes met. Of course you didn't bother to wave back.
"Don't worry, he's... he's harmless."
"Do you know that guy?"
"Yeah... Well it wouldn't sound very good if I say it. He's my ex boyfriend."
"Oh my god. Is he stalking you? Shouldn't you report him or something?"
"Oh no, no. Like I said, Jungkook is very harmless. To others… Very harmful for himself, though," you added with a mix of concern and amusement as Jungkook clumsily ran to cross the street, narrowly avoiding getting hit by a car in the process.
As you and Mia continued walking, she looked back and forth between you and Jungkook, clearly unsure of how to react in this unusual situation. You could understand her confusion, as dealing with Jungkook's persistent presence was not something you had ever expected to be a part of your daily routine.
Jungkook finally spoke up when he got closer, saying, "I know you saw me."
"Then you must know that I'm ignoring you."
"You look gorgeous." The simple compliment caused a blush to creep up from your neck, and you couldn't help but feel a flutter of warmth in response to Jungkook's words.
"I know."
"Babe, talk to me. Then I won't bother you the whole day. I promise." Jungkook's plea made you stop in your tracks, and even the girl beside you seemed surprised by your response, as you decided to give him a moment to talk.
"Fine. Talk," you said, crossing your arms over your chest, clearly signaling your skepticism but still willing to hear him out.
"Uhhh..." Jungkook hesitated, caught off guard by your willingness to listen. He struggled to find the right words, unsure of what to say beyond the usual apologies and expressions of missing you.
"These are for you." He said offering you the sunflowers. "You love them."
"You remember that?" It was surprising honestly, you weren't expecting Jungkook to remember some minute detail you mentioned in the passing.
What's more surprising is that Jungkook's eyes not once has drifted to the girl standing awkwardly beside you. To simply say that Mia was beautiful would be the understatement of the century. She was one of the most gorgeous women you've ever laid eyes on and had the body of a goddess. Honestly she made you doubt your sexuality for a second so the fact that Jungkook didn't even spare a glance at her was really surprising. Probably because he knows you'd be watching him like a hawk if he did but still, it's progress right?
"I do."
"By the way, this is Mia. My new colleague. Mia, this is Jungkook, my boyfrie...ex-boyfriend," you corrected yourself, catching Jungkook's reaction as his face seemed to brighten momentarily at your slip.
"I would say nice to meet you if you weren't being creepy and stalking us."
"He wasn't stalking us," you said, feeling a sudden urge to defend Jungkook, even though you were trying to keep your distance from him. "Stalking is a form of harassment, and I do not feel even slightly harassed by this man. He knows me and he wanted to talk to me, so he followed me here. You have no right to call him a stalker." Both Jungkook and Mia seemed taken aback by your strong defense of him.
"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't know-"
"It's okay. Actually, there's the restaurant. I already made a reservation under my name. You should go in; I'll catch up with you in a sec," you said and Mia gave you a polite smile before walking towards the restaurant. As she left, you turned back to Jungkook and noticed his gaze fixed on you. There was no ogling of her ass as she walked away. Progress, you thought to yourself.
"What are you smiling at?"
"I love you." He said giving you those lovestruck puppy eyes.
"Shut up."
"You really do look gorgeous today," Jungkook said, and you couldn't help but look down at your simple outfit—a plain beige shirt and brown work pants. He thinks you look gorgeous in this boring ass outfit? You didn't think there was anything special about it. "You really do," he insisted. "I'm not just saying it to kiss up to you."
"What do you wanted to talk about?" you asked, brushing off his compliment and getting back to the point.
"You left some stuff at the apartment. They seem important. If you want I can bring them back to your place... or you can come by. Anytime." Your heart did drop a little. He wants you to pick your stuff up from his apartment? What happened to I'll try as long as it takes? Sure you're planning on getting those back anyway but hearing him say that... hurts a little.
"I can come pick them up. If you're around tonight. I'll also bring your key, I still have it." Why did saying it felt so official?
"Yeah cool..."
*******
Oh god it was so not cool. Jungkook was freaking the fuck out. The reality was sinking in, and it was not cool at all. You were going to pick up your stuff, and it felt like the official end was approaching. Until now, it felt like a temporary fight, where he could apologize and you'd come back to him. But now, it felt like a real breakup, and it was hitting him hard.
"Why the fuck did I have to say that? WHY THE FUCK? I'm such a fucking tool. I could have said anything, literally anything and what did I say? Pick your stuff up from my apartment. Why the fuck didn't I just get hit by that damn car instead?"
"Kook, calm down."
"What the fuck you mean calm down? She's gonna be here in two hours or something and she's gonna take the last pieces of her from this apartment and my miserable life and then she's gonna move on while I'll probably die alone because I can't ever love anybody as much as I love her." By the end of his rant all three of his hyungs were looking at him with mouth hung open.
"Bro, you've got issues."
"You think?" Jungkook sarcastically asked as he paused his pacing around the living room for a moment. Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok, Jungkook's best friends, were gathered around him in the living room as the youngest ranted to them for an hour. Jungkook had called them as soon as he got back to his apartment, seeking their help to salvage the remaining pieces of his love life. True to their friendship, they all showed up within an hour. However, so far, none of them had been even slightly helpful, and Jungkook was now two bottles of wine down.
"Here's an idea," Hoseok offered. "Don't open the door when she comes here, she's gonna think you invited her and forgot, hence she can't take her stuff." All three men looked at Hoseok.
"Yes, Kook. And punch her dog while you're at it." Namjoon scoffed.
"At least I'm giving some advice. You guys are useless."
"Yes, Hobi hyung. And I appreciate that. But she already has a key she's just gonna get in and take her stuff and leave."
Yoongi finally broke his silence, offering his perspective. "You know what, JK? If she can't already see the efforts, maybe she's not worth it. You already spent a week following her around like a puppy, and she doesn't have the decency to acknowledge your efforts?" His words held a hint of frustration, clearly disappointed in your lack of response to Jungkook's attempts to win you back.
"She has every right to be mad at me. I was a horrible boyfriend. A week is nothing, even if it takes a year I'm still gonna try to do everything I can. And what efforts? All I've done is stalk her around, probably even made her uncomfortable."
"I agree with Yoongi, Jungkook. Maybe it's a sign that you should consider moving on," Namjoon gently suggested, feeling sympathy for his young friend. He had never seen Jungkook so frustrated and heartbroken before; usually, he has always been the life of the party, bringing joy to everyone around him. Witnessing him like this was truly disheartening.
"No, you guys don't understand. I love her. You know why I was always carefree about the future? Because I always knew it was her, I don't care what I do or what I am as long as its with her. She's it for me and I want her by my side for my whole life. I want to be hers more than I want to be anything. I want children, I want a dog, I want a marriage, I want everything with her and if she's not in the future I don't know what I am anymore. I don't know who I am without her." Jungkook's monologue has left everyone speechless and in awe.
"Dude you wanna get married? I never pegged you to be the one to get married?"
"Not right away but in the future, yes. Only if it's to her tho. I don't want anyone else."
"Wow... Never thought Jeon Jungkook would have children in his future." Yoongi knew him the longest and all through his fuckboy phase so it was hardest to digest for Yoongi.
"Well not anymore. The mother of my children wants a divorce."
"Did you say all that to her?" asked Namjoon.
"What?"
"That little speech you just gave? Does she know all that?"
"No... I guess we never got to talk about all those things. I realised all this after the break up anyway."
"Then tell her. Tell her everything you just said, exactly how you said it."
It was easier said than done. You arrived with a knock on his door an hour after the boys left. An hour which Jungkook spent cleaning every surface of his apartment so you wouldn't notice how pathetic his life has gotten after you left.
Upon seeing you walk into his apartment, Jungkook's mouth went dry. He couldn't help but notice how effortlessly beautiful you looked, even in the simplest of outfits. He still has no idea how you manage to look so beautiful in the dullest outfits ever. Your dress modestly covered your legs, and your top had a conservative neckline, not even a hint of cleavage was seen yet you still managed to radiate a captivating charm.
You were also wearing little to no makeup. He did not want to be one of those boyfriends who bragged about their girlfriends looking pretty without makeup but if it was a compitition he'd win. If situations was different he would have made a joke about you going to the church but he stops himself.
"You want some wine?" Jungkook asked.
"Sure. Did you clean the place?"
"Uh...oh yeah. Just a little." He replied pouring wine in two glasses and brought them out to you. You had to mentally remind yourself that this wasn't a romantic date; you were just here to pick up your belongings. Being back in his apartment after such a long time stirred up mixed emotions, and you couldn't help but feel your heart racing.
You took a sip of the wine, only to find it tasted terrible, and you immediately spit it out, making a disgusted face.
"Oh my god, is this the wine we tried making at home?"
"Yes."
"It's awful," you said, both of you bursting into laughter. "Oh my god, why do you still have this? Throw it out, it's literally trash."
"Nah… I like it sometimes… it goes well with that cheese you tried making," he said with a playful grin, recalling a failed culinary experiment from your past. The two of you shared a knowing look, the memories of your shared moments flooding back.
"Noooo that's disgusting... I can't believe you still eat that." You continued laughing. Ok focus, you're not here to have fun.
"Only sometimes... when I miss you." He said and your laughs stopped. "Baby I-"
"So? Where is all my thing?" You ask, completely ignoring the nickname.
"I'm sorry I didn't pack anything." Because I don't want to let you go. "Some of your clothes are still in the laundry room. We can start there." You headed to the compact laundry room, which was conveniently connected to his bathroom. Jungkook trailed behind you in silence as you began sifting through the sizable laundry baskets, searching for your clothes among the various items.
The atmosphere was a mix of awkwardness and nostalgia. Memories of the times you spent together flooded your mind as you touched the familiar fabrics. You tried your best to focus on the task at hand and not get lost in emotions that might cloud your judgment.
"Koo, you mixed up the dirty and clean basket again," you said, using the old nickname almost instinctively. Jungkook's ears perked up, and he couldn't help but notice the fondness in your voice as you gently pointed out his little mistake.
"Did I?"
"Yeah. Blue one is for the dirty laundry, and the white one is for the washed clothes. You mixed them all up, and now you'll have to wash 'em again," you said, teasingly holding up a definitely used Calvin Klein underwear from the clean laundry basket. It felt oddly domestic, and a sense of nostalgia washed over you. Part of you wanted to spend a little more time just doing this with him, the way you used to when you were together.
"Did you try washing my clothes?" You asked picking up your white, well now pink t shirt with your hands.
"I wanted to do something nice."
"That's sweet of you, but there's a reason I told you not to do the laundries. I do the laundries and you do…" You paused, catching yourself before you continued talking as if you were still a couple. It was a slip, and you needed to remind yourself of the reality. You were here to pack your clothes and leave, not to discuss how to divide chores between couples.
"Well you're not here anymore. So I do the laundries and I do the dishes."
"Right... I'll seperate my clothes and then pack them." As you started sorting through the clothes, memories flooded back when your hands grabbed a certain grey t-shirt. Tears welled up in your eyes, that t-shirt held significant meaning in your relationship. It was the first time you stayed at Jungkook's place, and he had given you that t-shirt to wear. You loved it so fucking much that you still wore it often. It represented a sweet and intimate moment between the two of you. Despite the emotions it stirred, you simply placed the t-shirt in his pile of clothes.
"What are you doing? That's your t shirt." He picked it up to put it back in your pile.
"No, it's yours."
"Yes but I gave it to you because you love it."
"Well we're not a couple anymore so I'm giving it back. How are we supposed to move on if-"
"Why are you so fixated on that?"
"On what?"
"On moving on." This was the first time after the break up you were seeing a glimmer of anger in Jungkook's eyes as he walked around the counter to come to your side.
"Well we have to move on, don't we? We can't keep living in the past."
"It's not the past yet. I still love you and you still love me. And don't you fucking say that you don't. Because you do."
"Well it doesn't matter. Love is not enough to work a relationship, Jungkook. We are not compatible."
"And who decided that? You? You suddenly know everything about compatibility?"
"Can't you see? We are fucking fighting over a fucking t shirt."
"No it's not about a t-shirt, we are fighting over the fact that you're giving up on our 3 years relationship so easily like it meant nothing to you."
"Easily? Do you think any of this is easy for me, Jungkook? Do you think I just want to fucking break your heart because I just want to give up? Do you have any idea how much courage it took for me to fucking walk into this apartment just to walk out for your life?"
"Well you could have fooled me. It sure as hell look like you don't give a flying fuck about us right now?"
"I don't give a fuck? How dare you say that? I have given the most fucks about this relationship out of the two of us." Your voices raised in intensity as you found yourselves in close proximity, chests nearly touching, and only a few inches of space between your faces. Despite the heated argument, you couldn't help but notice how his chest was heaving from all the emotions, and how strikingly handsome he looked tonight.
Jungkook was so angry that he had no idea what he was saying anymore. He was just venting his frustration and shouting whatever came to mind in the heat of the moment. But your mind had drifted away from deciphering his words. Instead, you found yourself fixated on his lips, the way the little freckle moved up and down with his lips, and how his hands gestured frantically as he tried to make his point. The intensity of the moment seemed to fade away, and you were lost in the small details that had once been so familiar to you.
"You know what? You're such a hypocrite. You've nagged me all this time for not making efforts, and now you don't even acknowledge any of them. Do you have any idea how cruel you are-?" Unlike last time, this time you remember who made the first move. You took him by surprise, grabbing his gray hoodie to pull him closer. It was you who pulled him down and pressed his lips against your own. The kiss was intense, filled with a mixture of frustration, love, and longing. In that moment, all the pent-up emotions seemed to find release, and you found yourself melting into each other's embrace, at least for a brief moment.
Jungkook doesn't know what the hell took over you, but he sure as hell wasn't complaining. No. It only took him a mere second to acknowledge the situation, but once he did, his arms were already around your waist, pulling you closer than physically possible. The intensity of the moment, the rush of emotions, it all felt overwhelming and right at the same time. The world seemed to fade away as you both embraced, holding on tightly to each other as if afraid to let go. It was a moment of surrender, a moment of pure vulnerability, and for that moment, everything else ceased to exist.
The silent laundry room filled up with the sound of lips smacking each other. And both of you trying to breath between your kisses. Kissing Jungkook has always been a treat in itself, you have had your fair share of lovers before Jungkook but none of them had ever kissed you like he did. Kissing with them was always sort of a task that you would have to go through until both of your clothes were off but not with him. With him kissing itself was such an amazing experience, you could and you had spent hours just kissing those lips, that's how good of a kisser Jungkook was.
Jungkook didn't only kiss with his lips; he kissed with his whole body. His hands explored every inch of your skin that was available to him. One hand was tracing the curve of your hips while the other moved up your back, sending shivers down your spine. The gentle squeeze of his hand on your ass elicited soft moans from you, and you felt your body responding to his touch in all the ways it used to when you were together. The physical connection between you two was undeniable, and it was as if no time had passed since your last intimate encounter.
Without breaking your kisses for a second, Jungkook swiftly picked you up and placed you on the counter, not caring that the laundry baskets fell to the floor. The kisses became more desperate and fervent, his tongue demanding authority inside your mouth. It was as if all the pent-up emotions and desires from the past week were being unleashed in this passionate moment, and neither of you could resist the pull of each other's lips and bodies.
"Wait, wait," You pulled away, panting with droopy eyes from the intensity of the moment. Your small hands gently pushed against his chest when he tried to lean in again. "What are we doing?" you asked, seeking clarity amidst the intoxicating rush of emotions and desire.
"I think, I think we are making out."
"No I mean... I'm not here to do this. This is not right."
"Who cares?" Jungkook shrugged, capturing your lips in another kiss. One much shorter than the previous.
"I do."
"Do you want this?"
"I do...but-" you were cut off by his plump lips.
"Let's talk about it later then... I miss you."
"I miss you too," you whispered, giving in to the overwhelming emotions and desires that filled the air between you both. With those words, you granted Jungkook the permission he needed to take things further. In that moment, you embraced the vulnerability of being human, unable to resist the pull of his charm and the way his body ignited your own.
His hands eagerly roamed along your back, searching for the zipper that must be hidden somewhere on the dress. His touch sent shivers down your spine, and your breath hitched as you felt his fingers deftly find the zipper's pull. The anticipation of what was to come next filled the air, and time seemed to slow down as he slowly, teasingly, pulled the zipper down.
"How was the meeting with the reverend?" He finally made the joke he had been dying to say all evening, making you smack his chest slightly
"Shut up. I thought if I didn't look hot, I'd make it easy on you." you playfully responded, justifying your choice of the dark green dress that covered most of your body.
"Are you kidding me? You can never not look hot. You are feeding my sexy liberarian fantasies." Ignoring his comment you started unzipping his gray hoodie revealing the white wife beater underneath.
"Meals you can skip, gym you can't?" You commented admiring the muscles adorning his shoulders chest and biceps. You shivered when his hand suddenly reached under your dress to caress your bare thighs. Close to your core which you were sure was practically drenched now.
"Can I take this off?" All you could do was nod in response and he ripped your dress off of you in mere seconds. "Gosh, baby, you're so beautiful." Jungkook whispered looking at your mismatched pair of cotton underwear. "Look at you... dripping already. You got this wet just with my kisses?" You shook your head in agreement as he gaped at your clothed pussy. A very noticeable and big patch of wetness covering your panties right at the centre. "I missed playing with your pussy so much. Did it miss me too, Baby?" Once again all you could do was nod when his fingers slowly started tracing shape on your clit. "Words, sweetheart."
"Yes... it missed you. Please do something, Koo." The way you mewled out the words sent blood rushing towards his already hard cock. That was all the encouragement he needed to push your panties to the side. His face lit up at the sight of your dewy folds. Slick dripping between the slit.
"What do you want first?"
"Fingers. I want your fingers." Jungkook quickly moved to take off his rings but you stopped him. "Fuck me with them." Jungkook almost came at your words, you never told him before that you liked getting off with his rings.
"You like the cold metal?" You couldn't answer the question as he started playing with the bundle of nerves, pinching it occasionally. All your words turned into whimpers. "Look your pussy baby. Begging of my fingers." He smirked before slowly entering your folds with his middle fingers.
"Ah... baby." You shakily reach out with your hand to bring his face near your chest. He seemed to understand the assignment as he quickly started nibbling at the skin of your breast, pulling down the cups to release your nipples which were now hard like pebbles.
Jungkook had a way of eliciting reactions from you as if it were the first time every time, despite having experienced it countless times over the past three years. It amazed you how he could still have such an impact on you after all this time.
"I missed having your tits on my face." Jungkook murmured before quickly taking one in his mouth. You moaned out incoherent words when his ring finger joined his middle finger inside your cunt. Thumb rubbing slow circles on your clit. Your hands found solace in Jungkook's hair as he continued leaving kisses all across your chest.
You let out a tiny whimper in protest when his fingers pulled out from you. He brought them up to his lips and gave them a suck, eyes looking deeply in your half closed once.
"Shhh don't worry, baby. I just want more access." You understood what he meant when he pulled you up easily with one hand to take off your panties and throwing it somewhere in the laundry room. "You know, you taste just as sweet as day one." He picked up some of your slick on his fingers and brought them closer to your lips. "Taste baby, taste how devine you are." You took his fingers in your mouth and sucked them clean. Jungkook's cock was now as hard as a rock. He quickly took one of your hands and guided them to his clothed boner in order to get some relief. Like muscle memory your your hands quickly started working on his crotch. Squeezing it just the right amount.
"Wanna suck your cock." You quickly said.
"Later. Let me have this cunt for now." He quickly bent down on his knees to swipe his tongue up your slit pulling out a sudden loud moan from you. "Yes baby. Keep screaming." He said before leaning forward and getting to work, lapping at your juices like a dog dying from thirst.
His two long fingers went back inside your seeping hole as his tongue started flicking your clit. His free hand grabbed your thigh and put it on his shoulder. You were halfway hanging from the counter and practically sitting on Jungkook's face. Jungkook on the other hand was in his heaven right now. Imagine two of the most favourite things to mankind, ass and pussy and then imagine being buried in them, Jungkook thought if he died right now right here, it would be the best death.
Your hips started moving in circular motion as you ground your pussy against his face. Hands tugging at his raven locks. His nose occasionally bumped against your clit. You looked down at the scene in front of you, Jungkook's eyes looking up at you and his mouth ate away at your pussy. The look of his face trapped between your thighs was so filthy that you almost came from it only.
His tongue had now replaced your fingers in poking and prodding inside your walls. His hand came around your hips to rub at your clit.
Jungkook loved eating your pussy and it showed. The way his eyes closed in pleasure only by bringing you close to your orgasm. He was a very selfless lover, he found pleasure in pleasing you and he could spend days licking your juices and playing with your pussy. Right now his goal was to make you cum, if you squirt then it would be a bonus.
"I'm close, Koo. Lick my clit please." And like the always obedient lover, he did. Fingers parting your pussy lips and tongue getting back to licking the bundle of nerves, lips wrapping around it to give it a suck now and then. The sounds you were making were pornographic to say the least. You were sure you sounded like one of those girls making high pitched noises in the porn videos but you couldn't help it. Jungkook made you behave like a whore and you loved it. You loved screaming his name and you loved making these obscene sounds, and Jungkook loved it even more.
"Koo, I'm cumming." You cried out. He started licking even faster at your words, helping you reach the high faster. His heart jumped with joy when he saw the juices coming out of you. He did it, he made you squirt. Your legs quivered around him as you came down from his high. He didn't stop there. He licked you until you were clean and drank every single droplet of your arousal. You were shaking from the orgasm and the oversensitivity you felt in your pussy.
With one last kiss to the hood of your clit Jungkook came up and you immediately pulled him in for a kiss. You were determined to pleasure him like he did you. Shaking hands fidgeting with his clothes as you tugged at his lip ring with your teeth.
"Slow down baby." He helped you take of his wife beater.
"Can't. Want your cock." You were once again drunk on arousal. Your hands worked as quick as they could after that earth shattering orgasm to pull out his cock from his sweatpants. Mouth watering at the sight once it finally did.
Jungkook had the most beautiful and delicious cock you have ever seen. It was long and thick with just the perfect mushroom tip, which was now swollen and red and leaking from precum. The veins in his cock were imitating the veins on his arms, ready to pop any minute. Your thumb already started doing its job by spreading the precum all over his tip.
The groan he let out as your hand played with his cock was very loud. Almost as if giving you a warning.
"Is baby a cockslut?" He asked, reaching out to trace your lips with his tumba. The same thumb that was rubbing your clit only a minute ago.
"Only for you."
"Yes. Only mine."
"Wanna suck your cock." You pleaded once again.
"Go ahead, babygirl. Do whatever you want." You took that as permission to sink down on your knees and come face to face with his throbbing penis which was begging for your attention. Your hands stroked him slowly up and down and tongue came out to tease the top. "Don't tease, baby." You giggles once he used his heavy tip slap you slightly.
You looked up at him, making the most innocent face as you collected some spit in your mouth and then spit on his cock to lather it up with some slick. You slowly took the warm tip in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it like a lollipop.
"Just like that, babe." Jungkook sighed out and his words arrange you to take him in inch by inch until he was in your throat. One of your hands came up to play with his balls. His moans were now louder working as your inspiration to please him more. You loved the way he said your name. Moaned your name like you were some goddess that he was praying to.
Your head started bobbing up and down as you took him in and out of your mouth. Tongue continuously playing with the warm slit on tip of his cock.
"Fuck my mouth." You said once you took him out completely.
"You sure?" You only responded with a nod and that was all the answer that he needed to grab the back of your head and start thrusting in your mouth. You angled your teeth in a way you knew he loved. In a way that they grazed his shaft enough to feel but not enough to hurt. His tip was bumping at the back of your throat as one of your hand kept playing with his balls.
He pulled out of your mouth too soon to your liking and you gave him a questioning look.
"I'll cum if we kept going. I wanna cum in your pussy." Jungkook did not take one more second to pull you up and bend you against the counter. Fingers once again playing with your entrence to make sure you were wet enough to enter. "Look at you. You are wet again already, baby. Such a fucking whore." Although his words might have offended you naturally but right now they just added to your arousal. "My little whore wants to get fucked?" His hands digging in the flesh of your ass, slapping it to make it jiggle.
"Yes, Kookie. Please, fuck me." You begged, splayed out on your front on the cold counter. His cock was running along your pussy, poking in your slit but not really entering. "Stop teasing me you, asshole." You screamed earning a chuckle from the man behind you.
"This is what you get for being so mean to me." The loud smack that came at the flesh of your ass was very unexpected. "Tell me you forgive me and I'll fuck you." He bargained.
"No." Another smack making you yelp out from pleasure and pain. Your cunt once again was dripping from your arousal and this asshole was doing absolutely nothing about it. Wasn't he turned on too?
"Say or I won't fuck you."
"You're an asshole"
"That's not the answer."
"Fine. I forgive you. Just fuck me, please." Jungkook laughed at the way you begged.
"See. It wasn't that hard." He finally sink into you. A synchronised moan escaped the both of you once he was completely inside. "So warm and tight, baby. The best pussy ever."
"Jungkook, faster." You moaned and he obliged instantly. Your ass jiggling as he started snapping into you in a fast rhythm. His cock was hitting you in all the right places, he had found your g-spot instantly. One of his hands sneaked to the front to rub your clit as the other pulled you back and held you against his chest.
You hiked one of your legs up on the counter to get better angle and feel all of him in all the right places. Jungkook kept grunting in your ear, letting out words of encouragement, telling you how good you were holding up and how wonderful your pussy was.
Your breast bounced up and down as he pulled out of you and pushed in with equal force. His fingers kept rubbing and flicking your clit side to side and soon you were close to your climax.
"Jungkook I'm close."
"Hold it."
"Can't," you were cut off by your own moan at another hit against your g spot. "Can't hold it for long."
"Just for a little, baby. I'm close too." His hand turns your jaw sideways to capture your lips, drinking all of your moans. Just a few thrusts of his later he was almost there. "On the count of 3, ok baby?" You nodded against his lips.
"One." He slapped your clit, earning a loud moan from you.
"Two." His hand tucked and pinched at your nipples.
"Three." With one final thrust the both of you came down from your climax with a loud scream.
"Oh god I love you. I love you so much baby." Jungkook said as his seeds filled your pussy up to the brim.
*******
"What are you doing?" Jungkook looked at you confusingly as you pulled on your clothes 15 minutes after having sex with him. Although he did clean you up there was still some of his cum inside you right now.
"I can't go out naked."
"Why do you have to go out?"
"Because I don't live here? We are still broken up, Jungkook." Your words hit him like a ton of bricks.
"What? But we... we just had sex... you said you forgave me."
"Don't act like you never said anything to get whatever you want." You said looking for your panties. "Where the fuck are my panties?"
"What do you m- did you just say that to have sex with me?" He said as you looked for another pair of panties in the laundry basket. "I feel so used right now."
"Don't be dramatic."
"But baby... I thought we made up. Please don't leave now."
"Jungkook... You want to win me back? Do it without sex. The sex was amazing but I'm sorry it did not solve anything. I still feel the same and you still haven't gave me any assurance."
"So we're still broken up?"
"Yes. I'll pickup my things some other time. I'm leaving." He sighed knowing there was no point in arguing. You were nothing if not stubborn.
"At least let me drop you off. It's getting late."
"It's ok. I called Taehyung when you were in the bathroom. He's already outside probably." You said, checking the time in you wrist watch.
"Fucking Taehyung." Jungkook muttered under his breath.
"Bye, Jungkook. Don't torture yourself, please."
*******
"Oh the walk of shame." Taehyung teased you when you walked out of a certain apartment building to his awaiting car.
"Shut up, Tae. If I wanted to be judged, I'd have called Jimin." Taehyung was your other best friend, and although you hadn't known each other for long, he quickly warmed his way into your heart. Ironically, you met Taehyung through Jungkook; he was Namjoon's cousin. However, now he was closer to you and Jimin than he was to Jungkook. You first met Taehyung at a club where Jungkook had dragged you with his office friends. Despite hitting on you initially, he politely backed off when you declined, and you both ended up spending the rest of the night talking and bonding over feeling neglected by the people who dragged you to the club.
"He's going to have field day with this." Taehyung chuckled as he drove away from the building.
"That's why we're not telling him."
"Fine by me, if you think you can lie to him."
"Oh god. What did I do?"
"Look, babe. I don't know what to say, you clearly still love him and he's clearly still obsessed with you. You are only torturing yourself by trying to stay away from him."
"I just... It's not enough you know. I know he loves me, more than anything but if I get back with him who's to say a week later he just won't go back to his usual self? I'm just scared Taehyung, I just don't want to get hurt. I don't want to be one of those women in the future who just sits at home and waits for her husband while he's out their flirting with a waitress or something."
"I just hope you'd stop hurting. Nothing else." He gave you a sympathetic smile and held your hand for the whole drive.
*******
Life can be cruel, and it seemed like the universe wasn't on your side. You want something so much and when you'd finally have it, you don't want it anymore. You had wanted space from Jungkook and asked for it repeatedly, but now that he had given you that space for the past six days, you couldn't shake the feeling that something significant was missing from your life. It was as if a big piece of your heart was absent, and you found yourself longing for his presence once again.
Six days had passed since you left Jungkook's place in Taehyung's car, and during that time, he hadn't reached out to you even once. There were no phone calls, no text messages, and no unexpected appearances at random places. It felt strange and unfamiliar not having him actively pursuing you, and it only added to the confusion and uncertainty swirling in your mind.
Every time you made a turn or entered a cafe, a part of you half-expected Jungkook to be there, waving at you with that familiar, endearing smile on his face. But each time, you found yourself disappointed as there was no sign of him. The absence of his constant presence was both a relief and a pang of longing, leaving you torn between wanting to move on and wanting him to come back into your life.
Wasn't this what you wanted? For him to stop obsessing over you and move on with his life? However, now that he had seemingly taken a step back, you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. A part of you wanted him to fight for you, to prove that he was willing to change and make things work. Another part of you longed for his familiar presence and the comfort that came with it.
"Did you hear any of the words I just said?" Mia asked you and you gave her a guilty smile.
"I'm sorry, I'm a little preoccupied today."
"Is this about Jungkook again?"
"I'm so sorry... I think this is a very bad idea. I really don't want to disrespect your friend." When Mia suggested the double date with her boyfriend and their friend a few days ago you were very skeptical about it. You didn't want to get into anything right now with the mess that your head was but after discussing it with Jimin and Taehyung, they convinced you that you should go, to take your mind off of things for a bit. Double dates are nothing serious, it was just a way to lighten up your mood. Although now you were regretting the whole ordeal. You shouldn't have come here. Not only was your mood very sour but it was also very evident on your face.
"Oh no. You wouldn't. Trust me. Actually the thing is Chris is going through a bad breakup as well and Jisung and I thought you could, you know help each other out or something."
"That's very sweet of you, Mia. But you sure I wouldn't ruin the whole thing?"
"Oh don't worry at all. And even if it does not go well nothing will be ruined between us. We'll laugh about it later." You gave her a grateful smile when she rubbed your hands.
A few seconds later, the bell of the restaurant rang, and two very attractive men walked in. As the woman beside you stood up, you realized that they were your dates. Mia quickly introduced you to her boyfriend Jisung and your date Chris. You were relieved that Chris wasn't at least horrible looking, and you hoped you could get through this one date.
"Wow, they did not mention how beautiful you are," Chris said as he shook your hand and took the seat in front of you. You couldn't help but wonder how many times he used this line, but then you reminded yourself that not every guy is a player. For all you know, Chris could be a very sweet guy who was genuinely complimenting you.
"Thank you, that's very kind of you," you replied with a polite smile. "You don't look so bad yourself."
As the conversation flowed, you found yourself getting more comfortable around Chris. He was easy to talk to, which helped lighten your mood. But despite being a genuinely sweet guy, you couldn't help but compare Chris to Jungkook. Whether it was the way he spoke, sat, or even called for the waiter, Chris lacked the same level of confidence that Jungkook possessed. Even on your first date, Jungkook had a way of making you feel like you had known him forever.
You observed that Chris couldn't hold a candle to Jungkook when it came to a sense of humor. While Jungkook was effortlessly funny, Chris tended to build up to a joke too much, and it often fell flat, leaving you with no choice but to give him pity laughs.
You had to consciously remind yourself to stop comparing this man to your ex boyfriend. Chris might not be as funny, or confident, or curious, or smart, or handsome, or cute, or witty, or energetic, or adventurous, or a good wine orderer as Jungkook but he was still a decent person. Perhaps, if you gave him a chance, things could potentially go well. It was essential to keep an open mind and not let your past experiences cloud your judgment.
The mention of your name from the man in front of you snapped you out of your train of thoughts. "So, tell me something about yourself," he said, and you suddenly realized that all three pairs of eyes were expectantly on you. Not knowing exactly what to say, you started talking about your work. With Jungkook, this was never an issue; conversation always flowed effortlessly, even in the early stages of your relationship.
"Oh… um well, I recently got promoted to a junior copywriter in our advertising company," you replied, giving him a small smile.
"No none of the boring work stuff. Tell me about yourself. What are your interests?" he asked, and you were slightly surprised by his directness. Didn't Mia mention he was going through a breakup as well? Must have been one happy breakup if he was still so cheerful.
"I... I like horror movies."
"Oh, I can't stand horror movies," Chris replied. Jungkook, on the other hand, loved horror movies. Every weekend, the two of you would go watch horror films or shows and then mock the scary scenes together. He adored seeing you jump at the jump scares and relished the opportunity to hold you close in his arms to "console" you.
"Then what kind of movies do you like?"
"I'm more into non-fiction and political cinema, and occasionally documentaries," he said. His response didn't exactly excite you, and you wondered if he was just trying to impress you or if his taste in movies was genuinely that dull. If it was the former he was doing a very bad job.
"Prude," Mia's boyfriend, Jisung, let out a cough, and it actually made you laugh, realizing it might be the first time you've genuinely laughed during this date. Normally, Jungkook would have already… No, no more thinking about Jungkook.
"I think it's adorable that Chris gets his jollies from 'our planet'." You laughed again, finding some amusement in the conversation. This date might end up being a little more bearable after all.
Finding an opening, you slipped into a conversation with Mia and Jisung instead of focusing solely on Chris. You couldn't help but awe at how adorable of a couple Mia and Jisung were. They recently celebrated their 1-year anniversary. Jisung was much younger but despite the age difference, they seemed so happy and in love. They reminded you so much of you and Jungkook. While Jungkook might not have been younger than you, he was definitely the more mischievous and playful one in the relationship, while you tended to be more responsible and level-headed.
"Do you happen to know the guy sitting behind you? Because he has been glaring at me like I just stole his kids and traded them for wool," Chris said, catching Mia's attention first. She turned around, and you followed suit, curious to see who was giving Chris such a fierce look.
To your surprise, it was none other than Jeon Jungkook sitting at the table behind you, and he wasn't alone. Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon were with him. Your heart skipped a beat when your eyes met his, and a myriad of emotions surged through you, but one was the most overwhelming of them all. Guilt.
Regret washed over you as you realized the impact your decision to go on this date had on Jungkook. His hurt expression tugged at your heartstrings, and you couldn't help but feel guilty for putting yourself in this situation. It was clear that this double date was a mistake, and you were left grappling with your emotions and the consequences of your choices.
Feeling overwhelmed and needing a moment alone, you excused yourself from the table without waiting for any response from the others. You rushed through the restaurant, trying to find a washroom where you could collect your thoughts and emotions. The encounter with Jungkook had caught you off guard, and you couldn't help but wonder if he had intentionally come here like he did that past week or if it was just actually a coincidence.
"So we're dating other people now?" He sounded hurt when he stepped in behind you in the restroom.
"Kook, this is not what it looks like."
"I'm not mad. I'm just surprised."
"You're not?"
"Maybe a little."
"Where were you for the past six days?" You turned the question on him.
"So I disappear for a week and you start dating someone else. Thought it would take at least 30 days to move on from a 3 year relationship." His remark was bitter but you knew where he came from.
"Kook, it's not what it looks like," you said, stepping closer to him, feeling the need to explain yourself even though you knew you didn't owe him anything. After all, you were not together anymore, and it had been almost three weeks since the breakup.
"By the way I didn't disappear because I was giving up on us. I was just trying to give you some space. Our friends forced me to give you some space," He said "I wouldn't have if I knew..."
"Jungkook,"
"What's his name?"
"Don't do this to yourself."
"What does he do? I mean we can still be friends right? I know it-" you cut of his words by pressing your lips against his in a very soft kiss.
"Koo, you presence was not so insignificant in my life that I'd forget you in a week." Your words brought a hint of smile on his lips. He let out a sigh in relief.
"Oh thank God, I thought I lost you to that leprechaun."
"Hey," you scolded him. "I swear to god if you pick a fight with him on the way out, I'll whoop your ass."
"That would be so hot." There he was. Your precious Jungkook.
"But we're still not back together." The smile left his face as soon as it came. "Kook... I'm still not yours but... Make me. I'm willing to give you another chance but... You have to assure me that it will be worth it. Win me back and I'm yours."
"I will, baby. I'll show you how devoted I am." With one last kiss on your lips he left the restroom.
As Jungkook left the restroom with a newfound sense of hope and determination, you couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he was ready to face the challenge of winning you back with all his heart.
As you returned to the table, Mia and Chris looked at you curiously. "Is everything okay?" Mia asked with concern.
You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. "Yeah, everything's fine. Just had a little chat."
Chris raised an eyebrow playfully. "A little chat, huh? Well, I hope it was a good one."
You glanced back at the restroom door, feeling a mix of emotions inside you. "Yeah, it was," you replied, your heart a little lighter than before.
*******
And the cycle began anew on the following day. The affectionate text messages resumed, starting from the sweet 'good morning' greetings to heartfelt 'I love you's. You received a bouquet of a 100 sunflowers on your desk with a note that only read 'because roses are cliche'. He sent boba at your office because you hated coffee and he sent you sushi's from your favourite restaurant.
It was like a cycle. Once again he was following you around the city but this time you didn't roll your eyes at him, didn't cuss him out or ask him to leave you alone. You even heard from Jimin and Taehyung that Jungkook deleted his Snapchat and Instagram. Jimin was the most shocked one at the news. 'Oh my god is Jungkook actually trying to redeem himself?'
You laughed as Jungkook ran after your subway because he was a minute too late and couldn't get in as it left the station. But like the lovely ex-girlfriend you were you decided to get off on the next station to wait for him. And like you expected 10 minutes later a you saw Jungkook running down the stairs, eyes looking for you. Quickly running up to you when he found you.
"Did you run here?" He didn't answer you but only because he was too busy catching his breath.
"There are trains only two minutes apart."
"I...I know that" He said between catching his breath. "But that... would not... have been very romantic."
"And what if I didn't get off at this station."
"I would run to your office."
"You're crazy."
"Only for you."
One more week goes by with Jungkook showing you in every way how much you mean to him. You were finally starting to get the assurance and security that you have always craved for your relationship. You were finally starting to see the depths of Jungkook's devotion. The smile on your face now was just a constant. And there were only two reasons for it, Jungkook and thoughts of Jungkook.
"So, how's everything going with your crazy stalker ex?" One night Jimin playfully commented when you him and Taehyung were spending it at your place.
"Don't call him crazy."
"Fine. How's your completely sane stalker ex?" You only roll your eyes but soon started smiling widely. "Oh my god guys... He's the sweetest. I don't think I've seen him putting this much efforts in to anything like ever."
"Yeah, Namjoon says he's so whipped for you that it's disgusting." Taehyung's comment makes you blush. "So? When are you getting back together with him."
"I don't know. I mean I know. But, I don't know, should I initiate it? Should I wait for him to ask me again? Should I ask him to ask me again?"
"Don't think too much about it. If you wanna be with him, be with him." Taehyung being the ever level headed one said.
"I say make him work some more. That man had you going crazy for three years, the least jail time he deserves is three months." Jimin said sipping on his margarita.
"Don't listen to, Jimin. In fact call him right now."
"No, don't call him right now. This is our night. Don't be a simp."
"Did you guys bet against me and Jungkook?" You asked looking between both of your friends who looked like deers caught in a headlight. "Who else?"
"Just Jimin and I... and Namjoon and Yoongi and Hoseok." You gasped dramatically at your unbelievable friends.
"If either of you win, I want my cut."
The next day you were surprised to not see the usual series of morning texts that you get from Jungkook. There were no flowers outside your doorstep or your desk. Nobody sent you boba or lunch and you could say that you were having a very Jungkook less day today. The lack of your cute stalker ex has taken a toll on your mood and you found yourself becoming increasingly snappy and cranky with others, unable to shake off the disappointment and longing for his attention. This made you realise how much accustomed you have become to Jungkook.
You looked longingly at your phone but there was nothing, still no text, no calls. You could always be the mature one and call him to see what was the matter but a part of you hesitated, not wanting to appear too eager or like you were desperately missing him. After all, he had been the one pursuing you, and you didn't want to reverse those roles.
Soon it was time to get off from work, and with a series of goodbyes and good evenings you quickly left your office, You couldn't help but wonder if Jungkook would be waiting for you outside, just like he used to do. However, as you stepped out, there was no sign of him, and the reality sank in that he wasn't there. Still holding onto a glimmer of hope, you decided to wait for a little while, thinking he might show up a bit late. You stood there, keeping an eye out for any sign of him, and time seemed to slow down. Every passing minute felt like an eternity, and you were torn between staying and leaving.
Soon the guard to the building adviced you to leave saying that their was a big storm on the way. You quickly looked up the weather forecast to realise that he was right indeed. You looked up at the sky to see the angry black clouds had started to gather around.
Searching for his contact you finally decided to give him a call. You were seriously getting worried about Jungkook now. As the call went straight to voicemail, your worry for Jungkook intensified.
Deciding it was the only choice, you headed towards Jungkook's place instead of your own, opting for a cab over the subway to reach him quickly.
Your excitement soared when your phone finally rang after a long day of silence. But, it quickly turned to disappointment as you noticed an unknown number instead of the one you had been eagerly waiting for. Despite the uncertainty, you chose to answer the call, just in case it was something important.
The voice asking for you on the other side was definitely unknown.
"Yes this is she." You replied.
"I'm speaking from Hope Memorial Hospital. You are listed as an emergency contact for a Jeon Jungkook. He has been involved in a motorcycle crash, and it's a very serious accident. We urgently need a guardian. Are you able to assist, or could you direct us to someone else?" The voice on the other end was serious and panicked, but you found it hard to accept the gravity of the situation. Your heart pounded in your chest, and tears streamed down your face, hoping that it wasn't as critical as it sounded.
"No, it's okay. I'll be there in... 10 minutes," you replied, your voice shaky but determined. You swiftly instructed the cab driver to change the route, urging him to go faster as you anxiously bit your nails in anticipation.
During the ride, you tried to stay strong and reassure yourself that it might not be as critical as you feared. Your mind couldn't help but drift to the worst-case scenario. What if he was already... No, no, no, you couldn't bear to think that way. You pushed those thoughts aside, trying to stay positive and hopeful as you rushed towards the hospital.
The driver observed you with sympathy as you quietly wept in the back seat. Regret filled your heart as you realized you should have called him. You blamed yourself, thinking that it was all your fault, and if anything happened to him, it would be on you.
As the car came to a stop, you hastily tossed all the remaining cash at the driver and rushed inside the hospital. Your must have looked frantic as you ran around, sobbing and calling out Jungkook's name. Thankfully, a compassionate nurse came to your aid and calmly checked the hospital charts for the name you managed to utter amidst your sobs.
"Come with me, dear. He's in the ER," you swiftly followed the nurse to a bustling room. As the nurse drew back the curtain, you braced yourself for the worst—expecting to see Jungkook badly injured, bleeding, or worse. However, what you did not anticipate was finding Jungkook sitting there, looking.... perfectly fine?
You stared at the man sitting there, feeling a mix of confusion and relief. He was laughing at something the blond girl standing beside him had said. It was unexpected, given the seriousness of the call you received earlier. You couldn't help but wonder if there had been a mistake or if he had recovered miraculously.
"Baby, you came." His eyes lit up as soon as he saw you, there was not even a single scratch on Jeon Jungkook, maybe beside the scratched leather jacket. Now not to get you wrong, you were very happy that he was okay. You were just very confused. What was happening? You had stopped sobbing breathlessly but the tears were still flowing.
"I don't understand... Somebody called, they said... That something happened and it was serious." You tried explaining.
"I did get into a crash but it was nothing. They thought it was internal bleeding but that wasn't the case either. That's why I was here all afternoon, doing tests an all. But now I'm fine."
"Then why did they say that?"
"It was just a prank. I'm sorry it was Sua's Idea." He said pointing at the blond girl standing there. Your blood was boiling so fucking much that you didn't even care asking who this bitch even was let alone what she was doing with your boyfriend.
"A prank? You think this is funny?" Jungkook finally grasped the seriousness of the situation when he saw the mortified look on your face, realizing the impact of the prank. Your makeup was ruined from all the crying, and you looked exhausted.
"Baby, calm down it was just a joke." His hands came forward but you slapped it away.
"Do not Fucking touch me." You glared at him. "Do you seriously think that was funny? I almost had a heart attack, Jungkook. Do you know how fucking scared I was?" Jungkook didn't like when your voice did that. He could handle you yelling, screaming, and even calling him names, but seeing you speak with that dead serious look on your face was something he couldn't bear. It made him feel like he wanted to disappear. Jungkook wanted to jump off a cliff.
"You know what? I can't believe I even thought about giving you another chance. We are seriously done this time." You didn't even look back as you walked away as Jungkook struggled to get that IV out of his hand and run after you.
"Baby, stop I'm sorry. It was Sua's Idea, I swear."
The thunderstorm had finally hit your city with full blast. It was raining cats and dogs. In the midst of it all, everyone ran to sought shelter. However, that didn't stop you from sprinting out of the hospital. The storm didn't concern you; what mattered most was that you couldn't even bare the thought of being near Jeon Jungkook at that moment.
As you dwelled on everything that had happened, your anger intensified. You felt a surge of anger directed at Jungkook, the thunderstorm, and that stupid blond woman who played the prank. But, the strongest force of anger was aimed at yourself, for even thinking that he can take anything seriously. Why did you even bother believing he could change? He was and will always be a man-child.
"Babe, it's really dangerous outside."
"THEN STOP FOLLOWING ME."
"I'm not leaving you alone," he insisted, stepping out into the heavy rain to follow you. As you walked, you had no clear destination or plan in mind. All you knew was that you were so angry with Jeon Jungkook that you couldn't bear to look at his face.
After just a few minutes of walking in the worst thunderstorm you've experienced in years, you came to the realization that this was a reckless idea. Your emotions had driven you to act impulsively, and now you saw the potential danger not only for yourself but for the idiot following you as well. While you knew Jungkook seemed to have little to no regard for his own life and safety, you cared about him.
Recognizing the need to be level-headed and responsible, you decided to find shelter, a place where both of you could wait out the thunderstorm safely. You understood that even in moments of anger, you needed to prioritize the safety of both of you. You began searching for a suitable place where you could find refuge from the harsh weather.
Ignoring the constant pleas from the man behind to listen to him, you led him to a nearby subway station. The station provided shelter from the heavy rain and the strong winds that accompanied the thunderstorm. Inside, the noise of the rain was muffled, creating a more peaceful atmosphere.
"Babe, I'm so sorry, please talk to me," seeing your silence he continued "I messed up, and I'm really sorry. I should have never gone along with that prank."
"Yes you shouldn't have." you snapped making him jump a little. Taking a deep breath to calm your anger and clear your thoughts, you finally addressed the question that had been gnawing at you. "Who was that woman anyway?"
"Just some girl, she was in the bed beside mine and we got to talking but I swear to god, I did not flirt with her once. When I told her about you she came up with the prank and I should not have gone along with it. I'm sorry."
"I just feel that you can't take anything seriously. It's like everything is a joke to you. How do I know that you'll take me seriously? That you'll take this relationship seriously?"
"No... I know I've been a little childish," watching you raise an eyebrow he corrected himself "A lot childish. But I swear, babe. This is the most serious thing in my life. I've made many mistakes in the past but I swear I'll start redeeming everything. I'll prove how serious I am about us. You are everything for me, baby. Everything. You're it for me. I want to spend my whole life with you, __." The way he said your name sent shivers down your body. The way he looked at your eyes eased your mind a little. "I want to have a future with you. I want to marry you, I want to have a home with you, I want to grow old with you, that's how serious I am. I love you more than anything in this entire world and I'll prove it to you." You only realised that you were crying when he wiped a year from your eyes.
"You mean it?"
"Every word."
"Fine then. Let's go." You held out your and he quickly grabbed it. When you dragged him out of the subway station you realised that the storm had stopped. The universe was on your side for once.
Jungkook did not utter another word the whole way that you led him to your house. The silence was thick when you closed the door behind you. He still didn't know what it meant for you both, your silence did not give him any answer and he was scared to ask.
"I swear to god, Jeon Jungkook" You finally began after the painful silence and his heart skipped a beat in anticipation. "If I see you entertaining another women ever again, I'm walking out of your life. And this time it would be for good. I will not come back no matter how much you beg me to." It took him a couple seconds to take in your words.
"Does that mean-"
"Yes. I'm giving you another chance. But you mess it up and I'm dumping your ass." The next thing you know Jungkook is showering your whole face in kisses and he finally let go of the tears. Crying happily as he held you close.
"Thank you, baby. Thank you so much. I will not disappoint you, I promise."
"I hope so too." The both of you stood in the middle of your living room, soaking into each other's warmth.
"Now let me fuck you right." He said, making you yelp as he picked you up all of a sudden and rushed toward your bedroom. Your kisses soon turned heated and desperate. Both of you panting as he started taking off your wet clothes.
You were wet in more ways than one. His kisses traveled down your face along with each piece of garment he removed from you. Lips not sparing a single inch of skin as he spent the whole night showing you how much he loves you.
The next morning your wakeup call was none other than Jungkook's tongue swiping away at your center. You woke up with a gasp when the sun was yet to come out. You glanced down to find the mop of raven hair between your thighs.
"Oh god, koo yes." You moaned out loud when his plump lips wrapped around your clit and started sucking. His hands pushing down on your hips, keeping them from arching up on the bed.
His tongue swiped up from your opening as your juices trickled down to your posterior hole. It was too early for your head to comprehend whatever was happening. Your finger started tugging on his curls when he pulled you close to your orgasm. Agressively lapping at your pussy. The pleasure you felt was tremendous. Too much to handle.
Jungkook ate you out like he had rent to pay and this was his job. His tongue playing with you as you came down from your high screaming his name louder than ever. After pulling two more orgasms from you in the next 15 minutes Jungkook was finally satisfied and he kissed up his way to your lips.
"Jungkook, we had sex like, 7 times last night. It wasn't enough?" You giggled when you felt his hard boner pressing against your ass.
"It's never enough with you. Seven times is nothing, baby," he said as he slowly entered you, pulling out a moan from your lips. "I wanna fuck you seven days a week." He added between his lazy thrusts. "Every hour." He lands a gentle kiss on your lips. "Every minute." Fingers intertwining with your own. "Every second."
********
#jeon jeongkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook seven#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#Boyfriend jungkook#Jeon Jungkook x reader#Stalker jungkook#Bts#BTS x reader#Jungkook bts#Jk x reader#Boyfriend jk#Fuckboy jungkook#seven#seven jungkook
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Cat Got Your Tongue? - JJK (M)
Hello everyone! I’m back with another Jungkook fic because I have Jk brain rot rn. Please enjoy the story and just as a reminder to everyone-I am no longer doing taglists. I apologize for the inconvenience to anyone, but please enjoy the fic! Feel free to send in asks or chat with me, I love to hear from you all <3
Special thank you to Ryn @queenofthedamnit and Ella @oddinary4bts for Betaing this fic for me! I appreciate you both very much!
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Fem!Reader
Rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)
Genre: College!AU, FWB to Lovers, Romance, Smut, lil bit of angst
Warnings: Miscommunication, emotionally constipated OC (who’s surprised? not me), fuckboy jk (that is a warning y’all), Reader is a member of BM’s Big Tiddy Gang, Hobi and Joonie being boyfriends (because I love them both), sick kitten (she gets better!), vet tech yoongles (phew that’s an entirely different wip), SMUT WARNINGS: Virgin Reader, loss of virginity, oral sex (male and female receiving), protected and unprotected sex (do the former not the latter), creampie, vaginal sex, breif daddy Kink (i’m sorry Ella), dirty talk, titty sucking, hair pulling, Jk gets freak nasty.
Words: 18.1k
Summary: You were exhausted from schoolwork and just needed a chance to unwind. Jungkook, campus fuckboy, offers his services to help alleviate the stress from studying but is he going to cause more stress than he relieves?
“Honestly, this is ridiculous.”
You sighed, running your fingers through your hair as you tried in vain to study.
“I don’t see why you’re having so many issues lately,” Namjoon, your tutor and quasi friend, sighed before rubbing his face in mutual frustration.
“I don’t either!” you cried, resting your head in your hands. It was rare for you to be frustrated or worked up... Or show any emotion other than moderate irritation.
It was that time of year again where the big exams start hitting before you can run off and celebrate with your friends-well, more like celebrate with a big glass of wine and a job well done. And hopefully you won’t lose your scholarship and have to go back home to the absolute anarchy that is your home life.
The middle child of seven you hate everything that life had to offer you.
It was stagnant. They were comfortable with mediocrity, you were not. You had drive, and passion and you weren’t going to waste it by staying in the same dinky town with your four older brothers and two younger twin sisters.
Since you weren’t into the sports scene like all of your brothers, and you weren’t young and docile like the twins you were kind of outcasted by your family. You knew they loved you in their own way, but it wasn’t enough to make you stay when you turned old enough for college.
Your parents helped you with what they could but it’s hard being parents to seven children. Let alone one that wants to travel damn near four hours for school.
They made it happen, and so did you.
Nothing was going to keep you away from this. Not a damn thing.
So, you came here with an objective and you won’t leave without accomplishing it to the absolute best of your ability. And that meant failure wasn’t an option.
But right now?
It was encroaching a little too close for your comfort.
Namjoon was a saint, he was patient and tried every way to explain something to you in hopes of being able to ease your worries and midterm stress but there was really nothing he could do. Nothing was sticking and it was just causing you more and more frustration and anxiety.
“Hey, don’t freak out,” Namjoon tried to calm you. “Maybe you just need to... I don’t know, get all your pent up frustration out, hm? Maybe like kickboxing or um... Regular boxing? I don’t know, something where you can hit stuff with your tiny fists.”
“I love that you think that was a compliment,” you sighed in defeat. “I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna have to go back home and I’m gonna have to be some wife for a fucking farmer. I’ll have to have ninety children and my vagina is gonna look like-”
“I’m gonna stop you right there because no part of me wants to know what a vagina looks like after ninety children okay? Okay,” he said, face turning slightly green at the thought. “And no, you aren’t going to fail, you aren’t going to go home and be a farmer's wife unless you want to. You’re not going to give up either.”
You gave Namjoon a very rare, but genuine smile and he squeezed your shoulder gently.
“Joonie!” a bright voice called.
Before Namjoon could blink his boyfriend, Hoseok, was on his back.
“Oof!”
Laughter filled the air between the two and you waved at Hoseok neutrally. He gave you his beaming smile that always made you want to return it. Although you weren’t sure your smile was that blinding.
“What’s up? Did they cancel practice early?” Namjoon asked.
“Nah, they’re doing lower level stuff today so the teacher said I could take it off. Because I am a protege as they say,” he snickered.
Namjoon just pushed him before turning back to you. “You’re gonna do fine, Y/N, promise. We can schedule another time but I think you should probably take a break,” he said.
That dreaded word.
Break.
What does it mean? Why?
To stop something?
Or for something to do the act of breaking as in falling apart?
You didn’t like breaks. They gave you time to think, they gave you time to ruminate over your own issues and anxieties and then you found yourself wallowing. No distractions means too much time alone.
Seeing as how you have few friends, even fewer since moving here.
Namjoon was your tutor, but you wouldn’t say that you were like... Super friends or anything. He cares about you, it's in his nature, but you two rarely hung out outside of study sessions. Hoseok you knew by association with Namjoon.
There was Yeji, she was a freshman this year and had asked for some help with a project after seeing you as the TA. You’d fallen into a mother hen role with her and will literally fight anyone who tries to hurt her. She’s your baby, you birthed her. But you don’t really see her as a friend friend, if that makes sense. You feel responsible for her, but you know she’s not stupid either. She’s a capable young woman.
A few of your friends back home, Felix and Bomi are always available for a chat if necessary as well. But they still live there, and their mindsets are very much of the small town variety.
Nothing wrong with that, but you’d rather not get stuck in a place where people either don’t care to grow and try to force others to think the same as them.
Ah, herd mentality, thou art a heartless bitch.
Okay, maybe your comfort show is the big bang theory, who cares?
“Y/N...?”
Ah, people were still here.
“Right, sorry...” you mumbled.
Hoseok looked at you with a small pout before looking at the papers. He’d never seen you struggle so much. “What’s wrong, Y/N? Everything okay in that wonderfully smart brain of yours?”
You winced, because right now you felt everything but wonderfully smart. “Um, not particularly, but I’ll figure it out I guess. And not through boxing,” you said, giving a pointed look to Namjoon who just seemed more embarrassed than anything.
“You know, you’re rather feisty when necessary,” Hoseok chuckled. “Boxing would be entertaining.”
“I’m not the sporty type, I’m afraid,” you said, resting back on the chair.
“Why did you suggest boxing in the first place?” Hoseok asked, trying to catch up.
Namjoon frowned before sighing. “She’s frustrated and angry at herself, I was trying to think of a good outlet that would maybe get her to focus a little bit.”
Hoseok nodded. “Well, I mean there’s always sex,” he pointed out.
You froze while Namjoon perked up. “Fuck! You’re right!’
Hoseok smiled at his boyfriend like the fucking psychopath that he is while suggesting you do something so... so out your depth.
“See, Y/N?” Hoseok offered. “Just find a nice boy or girl or nonbinary individual who strikes your fancy and... well, let it out.”
“I know you think that will help, but it won’t,” you frowned.
“Why? Sex always helps me get out a little pent up frustration,” Namjoon said with a pout.
Hoseok nodded wistfully. “Oh yes, it certainly does,” he smiled with a cheeky wink.
“Right,” you said, voice cold and chopped while you gathered your materials.
“I’m sorry, Y/N I didn’t mean to overstep-” Hoseok started but you stood quickly and ignored him.
“Namjoon, can we meet again in two days? My project isn’t due until next Saturday so I’ll have some time to rest,” you said.
The older man looked at his boyfriend who looked rather guilty before nodding. “Yeah, I’ll send you a message with schedule times and you let me know what works for you.”
You nodded before heading off towards the exit of the library. You didn’t turn back to see Hoseok and Namjoon share a worried look before you left the premises.
--
“I mean it’s not a bad idea,” Yeji said as she worked on her project in the classroom after the lecture.
“Are you kidding me?” you said, turning to look at her as you wiped the whiteboard down.
“Not usually no, it goes over your head when I try,” she said. “You’re very literal.”
You pouted before turning back to the board. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It can be,” Yeji said, eyes still on her laptop.
“If this is a Y/N roasting session-”
Yeji shut her laptop and looked at you, genuine care swirling in her eyes. “It’s not that Y/N, you know that.”
You shut your mouth.
Yeji had a tendency to go on tangents when she felt strongly about something or someone or a topic. She was gearing up for one right now and you had a feeling you were not ready for what she was going to say.
“Why do you think that having sex to let loose and have a little pleasure and fun is such a bad thing?” she asked, resting her head on her hand.
“I-I don’t think it’s bad,” you defended. “I just don’t think it’s for me.”
“But you wouldn’t know,” she countered.
With a sigh you faced her fully, crossing your arms before looking her dead in the eye. “I’m a virgin, Yeji. I’ve got the V-card very much so intact and probably not going anywhere any time soon.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” she said. “And you don’t have to go all the way with another person. You can just do oral or mutual masturbation or-”
You waved your hand dismissively. “I’m not interested in having sex that’s going to last two minutes and leave me feeling sticky and used, thank you.”
“Not all sex is like that,” Yeji said kindly. “If you find someone you have good sexual chemistry with then it likely won’t happen.”
“I’m on a college campus. Where am I going to find someone who isn’t a one pump chump?”
“I think you have a very skewed vision of what sex is,” Yeji sighed. “Sex isn’t supposed to be crazy all the time. Sometimes it is just one pump and done, for some people that’s enough. Then there are times where you’re edged to the moon and back and then there’s casual. You’ve pigeon-holed something you know nothing about because you know nothing about it and it makes you uncomfortable. You like knowing everything, you like not being caught off guard because when you are, it makes you feel like you’re back home all over again.”
Your heart was trembling in your chest.
“I tend to forget you’re a psych major,” you sighed, but she just gives you a reassuring smile. She may be young but she has an intuition and perceptivity not common in anyone period. Age negated. “It’s not that I don’t want to have sex... I-I just don’t think I want a relationship right now and I also don’t want to be disappointed. Is it wrong of me to have expectations?”
Yeji shook her head. “Not really, at least I don’t think so. There’s nothing wrong with expressing your wants and needs to someone. It’s also not a bad thing to want sex and to not want a relationship. There’s several people who enjoy sex but are happily unmarried or whatever. It’s your choice.”
You nodded. “Okay... Okay-if! If! It is a very big if...” you muttered. “If I decided I wanted to do it with someone, where would I even start?”
The younger woman’s face broke out in a smile at you. “I think I might have just the guy.”
--
“Jeon Jungkook, 25, senior and sports science major. He’s a little older than you but not by much. He’s also got quite the repertoire of sexual prowess,” Yeji winked.
You two were in your apartment late one evening. You and Namjoon had met today and you apologized for your attitude at the last meeting and begged him to apologize to Hoseok as well.
He was shocked at your urgency but was quick to apologize as well.
“What kind of repertoire are we talking about here?” you asked, applying the face mask carefully.
“Well,” she began, sitting cross legged on your bed with a mask of her own on. “He’s super attractive, just look at those legs my god...”
“Describe more please,” you said, painting on your clay mask with intensive care.
“Apparently he’s into sports, photography and food,” she said, scrolling on her phone.
“That’s pretty generic,” you sighed.
“I’m not done,” she pouted.
You turned to squint at her. “Don’t pout it’ll ruin your mask, keep talking, I haven't said no yet.”
Yeji nodded before scrolling down some more. “Oooh, he’s kinky,” Yeji chuckled.
Your brows rose in shock. You sputtered out a feeble, “W-What do you mean, kinky?”
“Well, it’s an older picture but he’s got a girl on a leash and shit for halloween,” she chuckled.
“Okay, I’m not hating on the BDSM community but I don’t really wanna be on a leash before losing my virginity,” you said, finally finishing your mask before coming out to join her on your bed.
“Just look at him,” she said, handing you her phone while she went to pee.
And look you did.
This man was the epitome of the male specimen. He was handsome, toned and strong, he had an attractive face and beautiful jawline that was enough to make you cry. Soft cheeks and surprisingly gentle doe eyes that looked into the camera a few times.
Although he did seem like the typical fuck boy.
“He’s got a tongue emoji and a water spray emoji in his bio, what the fuck,” you sighed.
“He’s allowed to advertise if that’s what he’s offering,” Yeji said as she wandered back out.
“Okay, I’ll at least say he’s cute,” you admitted, looking at some of the other photos on his account. He had really nice pictures on here, some of the city and others of the campus.
“Cute? Cute?! Y/N, you’re looking at all the soft ones,” she complained.
“Am I not supposed to?” you asked in confusion.
Yeji sighed before taking her phone back. “Would you have sex with him?”
You thought it over for a moment. “I mean I’d probably have to meet him beforehand but I can’t deny that he’s attractive to me.”
She nodded in excitement. “Alright, perfect. Then we just need to get you to approach him!”
You felt your blood run cold. “I-I have to approach him?”
Yeji blanked. “You think he’s just gonna walk up to you and say, ‘hey! Saw you were a virgin looking for some great sex for stress relief. How about now? Or Tuesday at six thirty?’ Y/N, of course you’ll have to make the first move. You’re the one seeking him out.”
Damn, when she puts it that way.
“Okay! Okay okay, fine. How? Where do I find this elusive fuck boy?” you asked, laying back.
“Well, I’d suggest a party but those really aren’t your scene. Unless you want to go, in which case I have several dresses that would gladly take the fall for your endeavors,” she said.
“Yeji you’re very sweet to offer, but I’m afraid my boobs are a tad bigger than yours,” you sighed.
And by a tad, you meant a lot.
You were born in a farming community! The women were... curvier than average...
“Yeah, we should probably find something that will accentuate those bad boys. Or girls... However you want to gender them I guess, if at all,” she said.
“Yeji,” you sighed. “I don’t want to go to a party. I’d rather keep this as transactional as possible.”
“Well... I mean sex isn’t supposed to be a transaction unless you’re into that, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal, Y/N. Promise. It can be just a simple, ‘hey, I’m looking to lose my virginity and I don’t want it to be a total disaster, care to help me out?’ and if he says no then you move on to other avenues.”
Doesn’t have to be a big deal?
Yeah right...
--
Finding the said campus fuck boy was harder than anticipated.
But, of course, you find him on the worst of days...
Your period had come three days early, the cramps were worse than usual and you hadn’t showered in two days due to your bathroom flooding in your apartment.
But after a very desperate and tear filled phone call, Yeji confirmed you could crash at her dorm. Her roommate had moved out in search of a single bedroom dorm so she said the bed was yours as long as you needed it.
Thank God for Yeji.
So, as you waddled to your campus library you sat down in the stiff ass wooden chair and got to work. Thankfully, the place was empty, besides for Seokjin who mainly just read magazines and scoffed for comedic effect. Although, he was nice to look at when the words on your pages started swirling together.
Just as you were settling into your routine, you heard the door to the library opening. Seokjin’s voice called out.
“Yah! Jungkook,” he hollered. “Your book is almost a week overdue.”
Your head snapped towards the door. And, like some cruel universal joke against you, the very man you were trying to have in your bed walked in looking like a four course meal... While you felt and appeared to have just been recently run over by a semi-truck.
“Ah, sorry Jin,” he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.
You caught yourself right before the perfectly timed swoon.
Stop!
He’s here! You finally have your chance to talk to him, and better yet, you’re alone!
Well... Sans the weirdly attractive librarian.
“Do you have the book?” he asked, crossing his arms and looking at the... what is he doing with his foot? Why is he toeing the ground like some character in an anime?
“You see, ah, Jin,” he said, coming closer to the counter.
“No, I don’t see a book, nothing to see but a gigantic pain in my ass,” Jin sighed.
“I have the book... I guess technically, I have half of it,” Jungkook explained.
“No,” Jin said.
“Huh?”
“Nope, you did not just come in here with half a late book and expect me to save your stupid ass again,” the librarian scolded.
Jungkook gave an entirely too adorable pout for a senior sports med major.
But you couldn’t find it in yourself to complain. You found that you were staring, so quickly you turned your head back towards your studies, seemingly indifferent to the men behind you.
You put your headphones on but then their conversation continued.
“I love you,” Jungkook whined. “Please? Please please please just let me off the hook this last time and I’ll give you Bitna’s socials?”
Jin was quiet for a second. “And that other friend of yours, the cute one who wore the crop top at the last party we were at together,” he said.
“Eunwoo?”
“That’s the one.”
“Deal.”
Jin gave a pained sigh before speaking again. “Alright, now that you’re done being a public menace what are your plans for the rest of the evening?”
“Not too sure, but-oh,” Jungkook stopped. “Sorry Jin, I didn’t know there were people here right now.”
“Ah, she’s here all the time, don’t worry about it.”
They’re talking like you aren’t there, so either they saw your headphones and assumed you weren’t listening or they really didn’t care about you listening in.
“What’s her name? Do you know?” Jungkook asked.
“Hah, good luck,” Jin said, making some noise so he was probably getting back to work.
Good, finally be useful you handsome brat.
“What? Is she not into guys?” you could hear the questioning tone taking over his voice.
“Not too sure, I’ve seen her with the same three people damn near all year. She doesn’t do human interaction it appears, her name is Y/N. Always returns her books at least a week early or comes in and renews them, you know, like a polite young lady! Unlike you, freaking barbarian,” he huffed.
“Hmm, she’s pretty,” he said, it wasn’t said in a way that would make you uncomfortable. He was saying it in a way that was just observational.
“Yeah, but watch out. She’s kinda mean sometimes, she told me once my haircut made me look like a Newfoundland! Those big freaking water dogs that look horrific when they’re wet!” He whined softly.
Ah.
Damn.
You did unfortunately say that to him.
But you didn’t mean it entirely in a bad way...
“Aww, poor thing,” Jungkook laughed.
“Go over there and get shot down, then you won’t be so happy,” the librarian was speaking in pout.
“Fine!” Jungkook said.
Your heart picked up speed.
Fuck!
What do you say? What do you do??
This attractive man was coming over to talk to you-
You felt a gentle tap on your shoulder.
With a jolt you turned instinctively to look back and saw that Jungkook was now much much much closer. He smelled incredible. He smelt like sandalwood and spice, his skin was glowing and his eyes were crinkled with a cute little smile on his face.
“Hi, I’m Jungkook,” he said, offering you his hand.
“I know,” you said and your hand flew to your mouth as your eyebrows raised at the blunt words that came out of you.
Jungkook just chuckled softly. “Then I’m sorry for not extending the kindness to you, what’s your name?”
“Y-Y/N,” you said.
Fuck.
Fuck!
Your heart was beating so fast and you couldn’t calm it no matter how much you tried to ‘breathe through your nose and out through your mouth.’
Well, maybe it didn’t work if you were doing it at the speed of sound.
“Pretty, I like that. Don’t know that I’ve heard it before,” he stated, walking around to sit in the chair next to you. He did stop before sitting down and looked at you before you gave him a gentle nod that he could join you.
At least he had manners.
He was already way ahead of the average male on this campus.
“Thanks,” you said with a gentle tone.
“So, what’s your major?” he asked. “Any grand dreams after leaving uni or are you just going to run head first into tomorrow without looking back?” His tone was light, joking. But you still felt your heart hammering in your chest. What the hell was wrong with you?
“Uh... Well, I’m a History major with a minor in English,” you said, smoothing your notes down with your hands nervously.
Jungkook nodded in acknowledgement. “That sounds tough, I never had the patience for foreign languages,” he pouted. “If I’m not good at it right away I tend to get bored easily.”
“What’s your major?” you asked, even though you knew it already.
“Oh, I’m a sports med senior,” he said with a soft smile.
You nodded, looking back at your notes. Jungkook gazed at your papers and then his eyes moved back up to you.
“So, do you have any classes today?” he offered, resting his head on his hand as he watched you fiddle with the same notebook.
“No, I’m done for the week,” you answered honestly.
“Would you like to hang out with me then?” he asked.
You turned and raised a brow, confused at his interest. Even though this is what you’d been hoping for.
“You hardly know me, what are we gonna do?” you asked.
Jungkook chuckled. “I’m not going to pretend I wasn’t hoping for at least your number,” he said.
Your eyes widened at his statement.
“And maybe a bit of fun too if you’re interested. I’m not looking for anything serious, if you’re not into it then I’m cool with leaving you be. Just thought I’d shoot my shot,” he said with a little wink.
You could feel the heat on your face as you looked at the table awkwardly. “I-I’m interested,” you said, voice soft.
Jungkook’s eyes darkened as he smiled at you. “Really? Well... how about we get out of here then? Your place or mine?” he offered.
Your heart was hammering in your chest. “U-Uh mine is currently flooded, unfortunately... And I can’t do it today, exactly,” you said, already embarrassed.
“No?” he asked, voice gently teasing.
“I’m uh... well,” you struggled to say it. “Currently having to put those activities on hold.”
Jungkook looked confused before he seemed to understand. His eyes widened a bit before giving a softer nod. “I see, I apologize. The last thing you probably want is some guy hitting on you right now, sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude about it.”
You shook your head quickly. “No! No no, it’s fine. I would’ve said something if I wasn’t comfortable, but thanks.”
“Well, when you’re feeling better maybe we can hang out,” he said with a cute little smirk.
“Um... yeah, that’d be fun,” you said.
“Then give me your phone, I’ll put my number in there,” he said, holding his hand out. Like a robot you dropped your phone into his open palm with ease. You were shocked at how quickly you did it too.
He quickly put his number in, sending himself a text so he had your number as well. He handed you your phone back carefully, giving you a little smile as you tucked it away.
“Well, I’m going to head out. But, let me know when you want to get together, I think we could have some fun,” he said with a wink before standing up and walking out the door.
Jin watched with a shocked expression while Jungkook flipped him off before blowing him a kiss.
What in the hell did you get yourself into?
--
After the most awkward meeting with the campus fuckboy, you find yourself panicking when he texts you first.
Four days later.
Your period had ended, thank god. So now, you were trying to make plans to finally get your cherry popped as it were.
Yeji thought you were being hilarious while you fretted over what to send him.
“Honestly, Y/N, he sent you a hello text with the waving hand emoji, it’s not that serious. Just say hi back,” she encouraged.
“How? What do I say, Yeji?” You cried, holding your phone to your chest as if it could help calm your racing heart.
“Legit, just say Hi with a smiley face,” Yeji said with a pout.
“Okay, okay I can do that,” you stressed.
Jungkook: hello 👋
You: hi 😊
Jungkook: are you feeling okay?
You turned to Yeji with a worried face. “He’s asking me if I’m okay! I was on my period when we spoke oh fuck I wanna die-”
“Christ! Y/N! Quit being so dramatic, it’s fine. You’re fine. It’s all fine!”
Yeji was rubbing her temples and you swallowed hard.
She was right.
This was supposed to be an even exchange between you and the fuckboy. So you might as well cut to the chase. It didn’t have to be so difficult, right?
You: yeah, I feel fine thank you.
Jungkook: sure, did you want to hang out tonight?
You: can we be transparent?
Jungkook: ah, are my male charms coming off too strong? Sorry, but this is me asking to get in your pants if you want to. If not, that’s fine too.
You: no worries. I’m interested but I’ve got a bit of an issue.
Jungkook: ah, inexperienced?
You: you know I was hoping it wasn’t too obvious.
Jungkook: 😂 I get that
You: so is that okay?
Jungkook: yeah, I’ll send you my address and you can come over.
You: okay 👌
You turned to Yeji with a panicked expression. “He wants me to come over now…”
She nodded excitedly. “Alright! Grab some of your cute underwear and go! I’ll keep my phone on, you just showered so you’re in prime time for some good ole fashioned hanky panky,” Yeji teased.
You nodded. “Alright, okay. I got this, I can do this.”
You grabbed some lingerie you bought online in a wine drunken stupor and threw it on.
The deep teal color looked ravishing on you. The bra securing your girls into place. You grabbed some stockings and rolled them up your legs and threw on a simple skirt and long sleeve shirt before heading towards the door.
Yeji gave you a reassuring squeeze before you left.
“If you need me just give me a call, okay?” She asked.
You nodded gratefully before heading out the door.
Half an hour later you were at what you hoped was Jungkook’s apartment.
You knocked on the door, standing outside and holding your arms nervously. A few moments passed before Jungkook opened the door. He looked at you before giving you a quick smile as he stepped back to let you in.
With a small smile you walked in and looked around. Everything was relatively clean. It was obvious someone lived here but at the same time it wasn’t filthy, a little cluttered in some areas but overall rather nice.
“It smells nice in here,” you commented.
Jungkook winked. “I lit some candles for you,” he said.
You rolled your eyes before putting your purse on the counter.
“So,” Jungkook said, grabbing some drinks from the fridge. “When you say inexperienced, how little we talking?”
You froze.
“Uh… well,” you squirmed as you stood in place. Trying not to feel too awkward. Usually, you were the one making others squirm with inexperience. Your brain was clearly scrambling trying to make you not sound like a complete idiot.
Jungkook approached with a drink, just a can of Coke, but it was thoughtful nonetheless.
“I’m a virgin,” you said, holding the bright red can in your hand. The moment seemed oddly poetic.
“Ah, I see,” Jungkook nodded. “Well that changes things a bit.”
You looked at him quickly. Why did he sound like that?
“I’m sorry… is-is that a bad thing?” You asked. Usually you were far more confident than this, but everything this involved was out of your depth.
“Oh, no. It’s not bad to be a virgin, sex should happen when you’re ready and comfortable. That’s not what I’m getting at. I just don’t personally sleep with a lot of virgins,” he said, shrugging as he took a drink.
“Why not?” You asked.
“Personal, but all right,” he teased. “It’s a lot of pressure to be the only one with experience. Having to teach you not only what I like but what you like too. And, virgins tend to get a little attached. Not saying that’s a bad thing, for some people their virginity is important and what not but-it’s a lot of work.”
You pouted.
Well you didn’t think about it like that. You thought all men had that inner desire to take someone’s first time. It was pretty sexist looking back on it, so you apologized internally to the general populace before looking at Jungkook to do the same.
“Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that, I understand if you don’t want to-uh… sleep with me,” you said, rubbing your neck.
Jungkook chuckled. “Ah, that’s not the case either. I said I don’t sleep with a lot of virgins, not that I haven’t in the past or wouldn’t continue to do so. I’m just pickier, I guess,” he said, giving you a soft smile. “I’m very much interested in sleeping with you.”
“Why?” You asked, eyes big with confusion.
Jungkook came closer, starting to back your body up against his wall. “Well, physically you’re my type. And, you’re a little awkward so it’s fun to tease you. Also, I saw a peek of your bra when you bent over to take your shoes off and I almost fucking busted,” he said. “Your tits are incredible…”
You flushed at the blatant flirting.
“I can take my shirt off and show you more,” you offered, hands already on the hem of your shirt.
“Mm, maybe in a minute. Let me kiss you first,” he offered, coming closer. You instinctually tensed up, eyes shutting tight as you tried to keep your breathing level. You waited for a moment for his lips to touch yours but they never did.
All you heard was a soft chuckle. “You look like you ate a lemon, do you not want to kiss me?”
Your eyes popped open before giving him a frown. “I do, I’ve never kissed anyone though... I don’t know what to do.”
Jungkook’s brows raised. “Wow, never been kissed either huh?”
“No, I didn’t want to be distracted,” you said quietly. “But... But now I want the distraction, so, please kiss me?”
He didn’t need any more encouragement as he leaned in and brought your lips together. You didn’t know what to do so you just let him press against you for the moment, until he was pulling back and looking at you with soft eyes. “You need to breathe, Y/N,” he said.
With a woosh of air you realized you’d been holding your breath since he leaned in. Your head went spinny and Jungkook held you by your waist to keep you up, even though there really wasn’t any danger of you falling. “Easy pretty,” he cooed while making your heart race almost painfully. “Want me to kiss you more? I’ll show you how to do it,” he whispered softly against your pouting lips.
You followed the rhythm of his mouth, gently pushing when he pulled and vice versa. It wasn’t rocket science, but there was a definite pattern you had to work hard at mastering. But, finally, Jungkook pulled back with a lazy smile.
“Hey, that one was pretty good. Can you do it again?” he asked, moving in to crowd your space again.
With light hands you wrapped them around his neck. Jungkook placed his hands on the small of your back now, pressing the two of you together tighter than before. A soft gasp fell from your lips as you grabbed his shoulders.
Jungkook chuckled before ducking his head into your neck and placing soft kisses along your collarbone and shoulders.
More comfortable with the proceedings than before, you moved to allow him space to move his mouth. Jungkook sighed against you, licking his lips as he pulled back. You looked into his eyes and swallowed the lump that threatened to form in your throat.
“Let’s go to my room,” he said, eagerly moving you throughout the apartment.
Rather quickly you were moved into a tidy space that had you-admittedly-surprised.
“Oh, it’s really nice in here,” you said, looking around before Jungkook was moving into your space once more.
“Thank you, I’m thinking of redecorating,” he said, holding your waist.
“But it’s nice-”
“I’m gonna throw this shirt over there, your bra over there and your panties on the lamp,” he winked, making your heart thud dangerous in your chest.
“Wouldn’t that start a fire?”
“Not if you’re wet enough,” he smirked.
God damn, who knew fuck boys could talk like this??
You sent a prayer out to whatever deity would be listening. God? The President? An Alexa for fucksake? Anything that would keep your heart from absolutely obliterating your rib cage as this man teased you and played with your body.
However, you noticed the distinct lack of stress from your tests and exams and damned assignments. Your mind was fully occupied with Jungkook and his kisses and wandering hands.
How could you worry about those pesky responsibilities if this man killed you from lust?
Jungkook was laying you on his bed as he groped your chest with one hand while the other held him over your body. Next, his lips. They were tangled with yours, which were finally comfortable within the pattern and changes he was executing. You were a quick learner, and this was proving to be no different.
Thank fuck.
“Can I take your shirt off?” he asked, hands running under the hem of your thin shirt. His hands caressed your skin, making your body jolt at the newfound sensations. With hot cheeks you nodded, letting him peel the garment from you with ease as he tossed it away.
Redecorating indeed.
Jungkook gaped at your breasts sitting in your bra. Well, rather being suffocated by it at this point. His eyes seemed to sparkle at the sight of your tits. He kissed the top of your cleavage, leaving gentle nips and sucks along the flesh causing shivers to roll down your spine in lust.
You leaned up briefly to unclip your bra, letting the straps drop from your shoulders and down to your elbows. Jungkook eagerly moved and helped you toss the piece away from your body.
“The color was pretty, but holy shit your tits are amazing,” he breathed, kissing your throat and neck. “Can I suck on them?”
You nodded quickly, giving him the green light which he accepted gratefully.
“Jungkook!” you gasped as he sucked a hot hickey into the bottom of your breast.
He smiled and looked at you. “Yes baby? What’s the matter?”
“That scared me,” you said, pushing his shoulder in annoyance. But honestly you were just being fussy at the embarrassment his touch was bringing you. You’d never felt this out of your depth. Not knowing stuff made you nervous, and your body didn’t understand half of what was going on. Jungkook didn’t seem annoyed, however, at your attitude. His eyes just got softer as he leaned in.
“Did it really scare you? Or are you embarrassed? Cause it’s normal, don’t be embarrassed baby, your tits are so pretty... They almost don’t fit in my palms,” he said, cupping your chest and palming one to prove his point. “So sexy...”
“F-Feels good,” you huffed softly,
He hummed, squeezing your breast and rubbing his thumb across your nipple teasingly. “You’re so sexy, baby,” he teased. He leaned down and captured your other nipple between his lips and lathed his tongue across it.
“Oh~” you mewled out. “Jungkook...”
“Y/N, you’re gonna make me bust in my pants if you say my name like that...”
“Just like it,” you mumbled, lips pouting as you squeezed your eyes shut at the pleasurable sensations running through your body.
“I know you do honey,” he purred, kissing your cleavage and across your tender chest. Sucking and nipping along the way, he found your nipple again and gently pulled it into his mouth, teasing it to a peak with his tongue. His thumb rolled across your other one, pinching it and tugging the flesh to bud just as the one in his mouth.
“F-Fuck...” you stammered, struggling to keep your mind functioning. It was difficult when almost all of these sensations were new. His lips kissing and touching along your lips and skin, his hand rough but tender on your flesh, his voice speaking hot and arousing words into your ears. It was a marvel you hadn’t combusted yet.
“J-Jungkook,” you whispered, making his head perk up at your breathless call.
“Yeah?” he asked, eyes matching yours as he panted. His lips were glossy from his spit that was also covering your chest.
“Don’t stop, please,” you said, voice weak and whiny.
You’d never heard yourself make noises like this. Other than when masturbating. And honestly, that usually had to be a silent affair. Burying your pleasure in your hand as you came. But you didn’t have to be quiet now, and Jungkook seemed hell bent on ensuring you were everything but.
“Fuck, I won’t,” he breathed. “Unless you tell me to stop I won’t.”
As bare minimum as that statement was, it still made you feel more comfortable around him. The words he spoke were genuine, he wasn’t going to force you.
“Take your shirt off,” you said, tugging on the bottom of it.
Jungkook smirked as he sat up from you, pulling his top up and off of his frame. He tossed it to join yours, wherever it had landed. They were long forgotten and gladly so at this point. He leaned over you once more, showing off his tattoos that had your mouth watering in surprise. You knew he had them, but to see them up close like this was something else entirely. Jungkook was fucking hot, and the further you went the more you realized this was going to be the perfect remedy for your annoying study slump.
“Like it baby?” he asked, running his thumb across your bottom lip to tease the swelling flesh with a teasing glance.
“Yes,” you breathed. “I like it a lot...”
He smiled, bringing his lips to yours once more. “Can I touch your pussy? Wanna feel you...”
“B-Be gentle,” you stuttered, despite your best efforts.
“Of course, Y/N,” he said, running his hand underneath your skirt and touching your wetness with a soft breath. “Fuck, you’re so wet baby... little pussy is waiting for me huh?”
“I-I,” you whispered, a gasp leaving your lips at his thumb pressing against your clit softly. His breath fanned across your face softly, his eyes looking at your expression with intensity.
“You need to tell me if something hurts, okay? It shouldn’t be unbearable and it won’t hurt for too long, if it does let me know,” he said, running a finger down to your entrance and teasing your hole gingerly. “Gonna be snug for me, yeah?” he asked, hooking his fingers into your panties and tugging them off your legs.
“Yes,” you breathed, answering both of his questions with that single word. Jungkook’s eyes leveled with yours for a moment before pushing his finger inside you. You squeaked softly, heart hammering in your chest as your pussy swallowed his finger greedily. He captured your lips in a kiss that was entirely too consuming for you to think of anything other than his presence above you and inside of you.
He didn’t even stick his cock inside you yet but it was still wholly overwhelming. Is this what it felt like to be feminine? Your whole life you hadn’t really given a shit about you. All you cared about was your passion and your drive but ultimately... you had gotten lost in the sea of success. Leaving yourself as collateral.
Jungkook was awakening things inside of you, things you weren’t certain you were ready to deal with but... But perhaps it didn’t matter right now.
All that mattered right now was the sensations he was pulling from your body. Because shit... he felt so so fucking good.
“J-Jungkook,” you whined out, hands reaching for his arms.
He shushed you, pushing another finger inside you as his thumb continued to pet your clit. “It feels like a lot, doesn’t it baby?”
You nodded your head, holding his bicep with one hand while you bit your knuckle on the other.
“It doesn’t hurt, right?” he said, looking into your eyes.
“No, j-ust a lot, like you said,” you breathed, trying to keep yourself even moderately in check. But honestly? The longer you stayed with Jungkook, the less you felt the necessity to hide and be shy. He didn’t seem to be expecting anything, he knew of your lacking experience but didn’t seem dissuaded by it.
“Then you lay there and take what I give you like a good girl,” he said, kissing your jaw as he started to pump his hand inside your pulsing core slowly.
You wish you could cringe at that basic fuckboy response, but the rasp in his voice and the bob of his throat as he felt your walls clench around his fingers at his words made you unable to snark at him. Because even if it was basic, it was turning you on.
“O-Okay,” you whimpered, turning your head to connect your lips with his.
“Jesus,” he breathed, kissing you back eagerly. “You pick up quick,” he said with a soft smile. “Now kiss me like you mean it.”
You did as he said, holding his face between your hands as you kissed him messily. Jungkook kept pumping your pussy to create the desperate ache in your lower stomach and cunt. He adjusted your kiss and lips every so often, detaching from your tempting mouth to kiss at your neck and shoulder as he worked your body over.
Finally, you could hardly take it. “J-Jungkook,” you whispered. “I-I’m gonna cum, please-”
He nodded. “I’ll get you there baby, need you nice and wet when I fuck you,” he sighed, finding your tells quickly. “Cream my fingers, Y/N, want to see you do it.”
With his words ringing in your ears you cried out your release, cumming hard on his fingers just as he wanted. Your hips and thighs trembled as he rubbed your pussy walls to coax your climax through you.
“Good girl, easy baby, did so good for me,” he whispered against your chest. “Breathe, Y/N, it’s alright.”
You didn’t realize you were still shaking. You’d never felt like that before. Heart stammering just as much as the rest of your blissed out body.
“Holy shit,” you said, voice weak and thin from panting and whining.
“Made a mess babe,” he teased, eyes sparkling with desire and lust for you. He put his fingers in his mouth for a moment before looking at your core with a hungry gaze. “Can I have a taste, Y/N? I’ll be gentle...” he murmured, leaning down and kissing your lower stomach as if to hold himself back. Carefully, he slid the stockings down and off of your legs, sending you a teasing wink-as if thanking you for the sexy attire.
“Y-Yeah, you can for a bit but... but I want you to fuck me,” you said.
Jungkook chuckled before kissing your sensitive pussy with tender lips. “Believe me, if you manage to walk out of here I will count it as a failure.”
You rolled your eyes but there wasn’t any genuine irritation. His voice was coated in sarcasm and gentle teasing, making you relax even further into his embrace.
“Tug on my hair,” he said. “Want you to tug on my hair while I eat your pussy...” he husked, leading your hand to his silky locks.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” you breathed, watching his head move closer to your core.
“I hope you do,” he winked before diving in.
A sharp gasp came from your throat without you even thinking about it. The reaction was utterly instinctual as Jungkook brought his tongue to your clit, rolling around it-careful of your sensitivity. He moaned against your core, as if your flavor was enough to turn him on.
Jungkook was licking and sucking loudly. It seemed so messy and utterly vulgar but you couldn’t help but watch with morbid fascination as your core leaked more and more wetness at Jungkook’s actions.
“Yes baby, give it to me,” he groaned against your core. “Fucking wet little cunt,” he growled.
“Jungkook!” you whined, hand finally gripping on the strands of his hair.
He huffed hotly against your thigh as he kissed and sucked hickies into the supple flesh. “Fuck-fuck! Your pussy tastes so good,” he seemed almost shocked. “Fucking best pussy...”
You almost questioned his statements-but he didn’t give you the opportunity, moving his mouth over your core once more. You pulled on his hair, feeling the overwhelming sensations of pleasure consuming your mind and body as he worked his tongue over your clit and throbbing core.
“M-mmm! Jungkook, Jungkook please~” you cried. “I’m so close!”
He could tell. Your core was throbbing again and you were no doubt worked up from the sensitivity of your first orgasm. His cock was fucking aching at the mere thought of getting to be inside your soaked cunt.
“Give me one more minute,” he said, capturing your clit in his mouth and sucking.
“Jungkook!” you sobbed. “I-I can’t, I’m gonna-please!” you cried desperately.
With a gentle nod he kept up his pace on your clit as his fingers plunged back inside your hole.
“Cum baby, cum and then I’ll fuck you. Gonna fuck this pussy so good, gonna make you cream my cock next,” he snarled, licking the filthy slick that covered your cunt with eager lips.
“I-I’m gonna-mm-haa~” you squealed as you came again, body heaving from the pleasure that this man ripped from your body once again.
“Easy baby,” he purred. “Feels good doesn’t it? Like my mouth on your pussy like that?” he asked, raising a brow as he licked the remnants of your orgasm from his lips and fingers.
“J-Jesus,” you hiccuped, eyes slightly teary from the intensity of the pleasure you’d received.
“Not quite baby, but I appreciate the compliment,” he said, voice breathless as he kissed you.
You registered the flavor of his kiss but there was your own mixed in and it made your stomach feel funny at the different kinds of sensations filling your body. “Jungkook,” you breathed against his mouth. “I-I’m ready now,” you panted. “Please... Please fuck me now.”
Jungkook swore against your neck before pulling his pants off and grabbing a condom from his bedside table. He tugged his boxers down and off releasing his cock and jesus fucking christ-
He was big.
It was so much different than seeing a dick in a porn video. It always seems common and typical in those scenes but in real life? In front of you like this?
It was a little intimidating to be honest.
Jungkook crawled back into bed with you, spreading your legs. “You sure you want to do this?” he asked, eyes boring into yours for the answer to his question.
“Y-Yeah, just... Nervous,” you said, biting your lip.
“We don’t have to,” he said.
“I want to,” you answered quickly, realizing it was the truth. You did really want to do this. Not only to get it over with, but because maybe you were having a good time with him. You felt like someone was seeing you. Not just your cold exterior and study centric front.
The you that had always been there but just didn’t get the opportunity to be seen.
What an odd time to have a revelation such as this.
“Okay, deep breath,” he said.
You did as he said and jolted when his cock rubbed against your core, the cold sensation surprising you. “I put some lube on, it might be a little cold, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Look at me, tell me if it hurts too much okay? Shouldn’t be too bad.”
With a soft nod Jungkook pushed forward, burying his cock halfway inside you in an easy thrust.
“Ah!” you squeaked out, gripping his shoulders tightly.
“Don’t tense up, try to relax,” he said, kissing your neck and jaw.
He was right. It wasn’t excruciating pain, but it was certainly uncomfortable, and it felt so much bigger than you thought.
“F-Feels like a lot,” you whispered, voice whiny and high.
“I know baby, just breathe. Doing so good,” he praised, making the glide of his cock inside you that much easier. Jungkook touched his forehead to your temple, easing himself the rest of the way in. His hand held tight to your thigh, soft pants hitting your neck.
“Jungkook,” you whispered.
“You good?” he asked, pulling back just a touch to look at you.
“Yeah,” you breathed. “Like I said... just a lot.”
He nodded, moving forward just a touch to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed back, mouth now finding a pleasant rhythm with his.
“Fuck,” he whispered, pulling away from your lips for just a moment. “Can I move? I need to fuck you before I fucking bust from how tight you are,” he moaned.
You clenched at the sound of his desperation, which caused him to rut forward into you. “Kook!” you squeaked the shortened version of his name at the sudden jutting of his hips which he quickly apologized for.
“S-Sorry, you squeezed me so fucking tight-I’m already so fucking hard.”
His words weren’t entirely making sense to you either, your mind was pretty occupied with his body more than his speaking.
It was so odd to share your body with another person. He was legitimately inside of you. How did that make any sense? But it felt so good. You hadn’t expected that part. You thought he’d touch you and you’d cum once, if you were lucky. However, you shouldn’t have doubted the prowess of the one Jeon Jungkook. Campus Fuckboy extraordinaire.
“-can I?” his voice cut in through your cock drunk thoughts.
“What?” you asked.
“Can I move now? Please? I need to fuck you now,” his breaths were short and stilted, like he was fighting to hold back the primal urge of fucking you into his mattress.
You nodded. “J-Just be careful,” you said, voice thick with want.
“Yes baby, whatever you want,” he said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Your heart was the thing that twinged after hearing those words.
Surprisingly enough. This fuckboy was more interesting than you originally believed.
His hips meeting yours in a seamless glide had a shocked moan fall from your lips. “J-Jungkook-”
“Kook,” he said above you. “I liked that one,” he panted, giving you a dopey smile. “You can call me Kook. I like when you say it, fuck,” he said, brows furrowing in pleasure. “Fuck you feel so fucking good.”
You briefly wondered if fuck was the only cuss word he knew. But you chided yourself, because honestly you didn’t even think you could speak currently.
He gave steady thrusts inside your center, making you mewl in surprise at the burning pleasure it created in your tummy.
“Kook,” you breathed, mind whirling in shocks of pleasure.
“Yeah baby, I’m right here,” he said, voice sweet as sugar. “Fucking you so good baby, do you like my dick? Like when I fuck you?”
“Yes! Yes I do!” you cried, hands wrapping around his neck.
Jungkook lifted your upper body, pulling you into his lap as he kneeled on his bed. You were sitting on his lap with his cock deep inside your snug walls. You held onto him as he adjusted your legs slightly so your hips wouldn’t ache so bad.
“There baby, hang onto me, yeah? Let me fuck you like this,” he whispered, kissing your chin as he started to roll his hips up against yours. “Move back against me Y/N,” he encouraged, guiding you by your waist, grinding your ass in the cup of his pelvis. “Just like that...”
He moaned against your chest, his hand creeping down to your ass to pull you closer. As if you two were melded together enough.
“Fuck, Jungkook-feels, so big,” you whined, arms winding around his neck as you dropped your ass on your own, Jungkook’s hands guiding you.
“Yeah baby, ride my cock... feels so fucking tight inside you, best pussy right here... Where’ve you been all my life, fucking shit,” he growled, pulling you in for a messy kiss.
You were too scrambled by the feeling of sex that you didn’t quite capture the meaning of his words. Maybe that was for the best.
Jungkook’s mind was reeling. It had been a while since he’d had sex with a virgin, but he never remembers it being this intense. But shit, you squeezed him just right, making his mind stutter while you whimpered softly from his cock rolling into you deftly. It was everything he could do not to blow his load.
“F-Fuck, baby, ‘m gonna cum,” he panted. “Pussy too tight on my cock, fuck...”
“Okay-I... I’m getting close too,” you moaned.
Jungkook reached between the two of you to gently massage your clit with the pad of his thumb. “Feels good baby? Cum for me, I wanna see you do it again.”
You whined and cried at his thumb on your sensitive clit, but it was slowly pushing you to your end.
“Kook! Jungkook!” you sobbed, gripping his shoulders and upper back desperately. “Fuck!”
“Make me cum baby, come on,” he growled, capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. He dropped you on your back, following you shortly and slipping inside your twitching pussy.
“Yes, wanna make you cum,” you mewled. “Cum Jungkook, please,” you said.
He held you tightly, rubbing quick circles on your clit to finally push you to your third orgasm of the night.
Shockingly, he did it, making you gasp and shriek his name. He felt how tight your walls became during your orgasm and he gladly followed you in pleasure.
“Fuck yes, yes baby make me cum, holy shit-Y/N,” he groaned, jutting his hips into your sloppily. With a pleasured cry, Jungkook emptied himself into the condom.
You two didn’t know how long the aftershocks of your orgasms lasted, but you were certain it was close to five minutes before anyone spoke.
“You okay?” his voice rasped, making you turn your head with a soft expression on your face. Jungkook felt his chest stammer at the bleary but pleased look in your eyes.
“Yeah,” you whispered. “I’m okay.”
He nodded. “Sit there, I’m gonna go get us some water and help you clean up.”
Jungkook gave you a soft smile before moving away and tossing the used condom in his garbage and heading into the bathroom. Your heart was thudding hard in your chest.
You did it.
You’d had sex.
And it was the furthest thing from terrible you think you’ve ever experienced. Was all sex like this? Or was it the sex with Jungkook that happened to be incredible. You can see what all the other girls he’d slept with were talking about. He literally made your legs turn to jelly.
“Here’s some water, sit up?” he asked, moving in to sit next to you.
You flushed at the fact you both were still naked. “Thanks,” you whispered, voice much hoarser than you’d anticipated. With eager sips you drank the water, handing him the cup when you were finished. He pushed you on your back gently and moved between your legs.
With the remaining shame you had you squeaked and grabbed his wrists for a second. He looked at you, startled. “What?”
“Sorry,” you murmured. “Caught me off guard, I just expected you to have me take care of it.”
“Nah, I got it, you probably can’t walk yet either,” he mentioned before cleaning up the mess between your thighs. You shivered at the sensations but shortly Jungkook was tossing the dirty washcloth into his laundry and laying on the bed with you for a moment.
He breathed in deeply, like he had just eaten a great meal and was digesting.
“Do I have a chance to fuck you on the regular?” he asked, turning to look at you.
“What?” you asked, snapping your head to the side to look at him with shock written across your features.
Jungkook gave you a handsome smile. “If not I apologize for saying it so bluntly, but I liked having sex with you, I want to do it again. Or, you, respectively.”
You couldn’t quite believe him still. But, you couldn’t help the twinge of interest in your stomach. He was attractive, and he was offering you stress relief realistically whenever you both wanted it.
“I-I guess? I mean, what does that make us? Friends with benefits? Booty call buddies?” You wondered out loud.
Jungkook chuckled softly. “Whatever you want, I guess,” he stated.
You looked at him with a raised brow but he just gave you another attractive but cryptic smile-hiding his true emotions with the alluring smirk.
“Something tells me you don’t mean that,” you sighed. “But, I guess you text me, or I’ll text you. Whenever,” you said, moving to grab your things.
Jungkook sat down on the bed, having pulled on his boxers while watching your frame collect your clothes and start pulling them on. You sat down next to him in silence, tugging your stockings back up your legs and covering your skin that had Jungkook frowning.
“What?” You asked, turning to him.
He quickly snapped out of it, looking at you with a mock pained expression. “You could make a grown man cry baby,” he said.
“You’re going to make me cry with those lines,” you said with a sour face.
“Feisty,” he said with a teasing grin.
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the heat that settled in your face. You’d never really been flirted with or anything of that matter, so to have him so blatantly made your heart stammer and squeeze in ways you weren’t necessarily prepared for.
Jungkook watched you grab your things, bending to grab your things from the floor and flashing your panty covered ass to him. He sighed, fighting the urge to take you again right now. Plus, you had no clue you were presenting so nicely to him-
“Quit staring at my ass,” you said with an unamused expression.
Jungkook laughed a bit before leaning back on his hands. “You’re so different when you’re not having sex.”
“You’re more annoying,” you said with a blank expression. The front was back and Jungkook found it odd how quick you went back. He wondered if you’re truly this way or if you merely didn’t know any other facets of your personality.
Something fun to discover...
“Did you want a ride back?” he offered, in lieu of a response to your sour attitude.
With a flushed expression you bit your lip.
“Yes please.”
Jungkook smiled. “Let me get dressed.”
--
Jungkook was waiting for his phone to ring. To ding. To alert him of anything in regards to you. The little virgin that had him wrapped around your finger so tightly. And you hardly knew it.
The two of you had been texting here and there, and had sex twice since the first time. And Jungkook could be honest with himself.
You were his favorite person to have sex with.
Hands down, no cap, your pussy was top notch and-and there was something about you specifically that he couldn’t put his finger on. He liked making you flustered and listening to you talk about your classes after the two of you were done fucking. You were curious about so many things, and there was a lot running through your mind at all hours of the day.
And, as much as you wanted to give off the cold bitch exterior, Jungkook knew you were kind at heart.
Because you’d been feeding a stray cat outside your dorm building for the past two weeks and he was certain if you could you would’ve brought it inside already. The weather was getting colder and you were no doubt worried that the poor thing wasn’t going to make it through the harsh weather.
“She’s so cute, Jungkook! You should come by and meet her sometime,” you said one afternoon as the two of you sat in the library while you studied.
“I don’t like cats,” Jungkook commented offhandedly.
“I don’t like you,” you snarked, and Jungkook rolled his eyes at your snotty remark. Even though he knew it wasn’t true. If you didn’t like him Jungkook had an odd feeling you’d make yourself scarce after the interactions you’ve had.
“You like my dick though,” he huffed.
You squeaked out in embarrassment and smacked his shoulder. “Shh! Don’t say stuff like that!” you huffed.
“It’s true, why deny it baby?” he teased, leaning forward on his elbows.
“God sometimes I wanna break your nose,” you sighed, turning back to your papers and looking down.
Jungkook watched your mind work, solving the problems on your paper like it was nothing. He was always impressed by your knowledge and ability to learn new things so quickly, he found that he could easily be jealous if he let himself.
But honestly, jealousy didn’t look good on him and there wasn’t much he was envious of in this world. He had a good face, good body and decent enough grades. If anything he could be a bit of a pain in the ass but the other things made up for the latter.
He didn’t say these things to be arrogant or anything, they were merely truths. People treated him differently because of these things and he wasn’t going to say otherwise. But you? You treated him just like Namjoon and Hoseok, except you let him fuck you every so often.
Speaking of...
“Hey, wanna go back to my place?” he asked, resting on his elbow.
“Why? I’m busy studying,” you said without looking up.
“I wanna fuck you,” he said, shrugging.
You sighed deeply. “I swear to God Jungkook-”
“Is that a no?” he asked, making sure he wasn’t pushing any boundaries that he shouldn’t. Honestly he hadn’t fucked anyone as consistently as he had you in the past four years of college. And he couldn’t find himself hating it either.
Jungkook had only had one serious girlfriend and that was back in highschool and honestly, he didn’t think they were that committed in the first place. Plus, teenagers hardly know what they want for breakfast, it’s hard to believe they know they’re going to be with someone for the next two weeks, let alone for the rest of their lives.
But, Jungkook was twenty five, and he was starting to think that the two of you could possibly...
Well. That might be a conversation for another time.
“Come on,” you said, standing and putting your stuff in your backpack.
“Yeah?” Jungkook said, a smile forming on his features at the thought of having you in his bed all over again.
“Yeah, I want you, let's go,” you said, not wasting any time and taking his hand.
The librarian, Seokjin, looked at Jungkook being dragged out of the library and then looked to Namjoon who was helping another student but was also shocked at the proceedings.
“Know anything about that king of the nerds?” Seokjin asked him.
“That subject is one I don’t care to study,” Namjoon said.
“Well that’s lame,” Seokjin huffed before turning back to his phone. “You kids wear my ass out.”
--
You and Yeji were hanging out in your dorm again after you fed Eden.
The orange little tabby had been coming around more frequently and it made your heart sing with joy. You’d never had a pet back home and the fact that you’d befriended such a cute little creature made your day.
Also showing Jungkook pictures and trying to sway him had turned into a new favorite pastime as well.
“Who are you texting?” Yeji asked as she came out of your bathroom, sitting on your bed with you.
“Just Jungkook,” you said, tossing your phone to the side.
“You two seem to be getting along well, huh?” she asked, raising a brow at you with a smile.
You rolled your eyes. “It’s nothing serious Yeji, just sex with some hanging out in between.”
She looked at you with an examining gaze. “He’s just having sex with you, right?” she asked for confirmation.
“I don’t know, I think so. I’m on birth control and we always use condoms so I’m not too worried about it. What, do you think I should get tested or something?” you asked.
“No, no Y/N, nothing like that I meant more of... If you two are just fucking and hanging out sometimes then, are you possibly considering dating him?” she asked.
“Huh? No, why would I date him?” you asked, feeling a trickle of uncertainty trail down your spine. Did it seem like you were interested? It’s not like you didn’t think he was attractive or anything it’s... you didn’t need any more distractions! The sex was enough of a distraction, you didn’t need anything else from him...right?
Yeji held her hands up. “It was just a question, Y/N, I didn’t mean to strike a nerve but... If there was one to hit, maybe ask yourself why?”
Because he’s not what I thought he was...
He’s nice.
He’s funny.
I like him a little more than I think I should-
“No nerve struck, Yeji,” you shrugged. “Just not interested in dating right now.” You tried your best to remain nonchalant but Yeji could tell. There was definitely a nerve she’d struck, and she thinks she knows exactly the one as well.
But, you can lead a horse to water. You can’t make it drink. Even if it’s on the brink of death. The horse must make that decision for itself.
--
When Jungkook received a call at two am from you crying he was stunned to say the least. He’d fallen asleep after studying late for his finals when he heard his phone ringing. A small smile made its way to his face when he saw your name and icon pop up.
Y/N 🐱🔥
“It’s two am baby, you need help going to sleep Y/N-”
“Kook please, she needs help!”
“Y/N? Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asked, sitting up in bed at the sound of your distressed voice.
“Eden-she’s sick and I don’t know what’s wrong with her... She showed up outside the dorm and laid down and now she is panting hard and-I’m scared, I don’t know what to do about this. I can’t bring her in, the RA would kick my ass-”
“I’ll be there, we’ll take her to the vet, okay? We’ll make sure your kitten’s okay,” he promised. “Wait with her and I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Jungkook showed up in ten minutes, and there you stood with the small orange tabby in your arms with tears in your eyes. He put the car in park and jumped out to approach you and the cat.
“Hey, Y/N-baby, don’t cry...” he whispered, trying to keep his voice down. This was the first time he’d seen you this physically upset.
“I don’t know what’s wrong, she’s so sick and I-I don’t know what happened,” you cried.
“Shh, baby,” he cooed, pulling you into a gentle hug. “I have a friend who’s a vet tech, want me to give him a call?” Yoongi would be pissed he called at fuck o’clock in the morning but he’d help when he knew what was happening.
Yoongi could be an asshole but he loved animals.
“Please,” you sniffled.
“Come sit in the car, it’s getting cold,” he said.
A phone call, a very angry Yoongi and several more tears on your end-you and Eden were finally sleeping in the clinic Yoongi worked for. You were passed out in the chair next to Eden’s temporary kennel.
“Once she poops and I can run that sample you can take her home,” Yoongi said. “The on-call vet said she should be okay, just too cold outside for her right now. Seems like she's sensitive to the cold.”
Jungkook sighed and nodded his head. “Yeah, whatever she needs I’ll take care of it.”
Yoongi snickered at him which caused Jungkook to turn a very sharp glare in his direction, to which Yoongi flicked his forehead.
“Don’t be a little bitch,” the older man warned him. “She’s cute, your girlfriend? Prospective girlfriend?” he asked, nodding towards your direction. “Settling down Mr. Campus fuckboy?” He said some brutal things but most people who knew him understood it was just his style of communicating. But Jungkook sighed heavily and Yoongi seemed to understand that this was different. You were different to him.
Jungkook and looked back at you. “She’d never date me,” he said with a soft smile. “I’m just a good fuck to her.”
Yoongi tilted his head in confusion. “Odd, that’s usually the reversed position.”
“I like switching positions,” Jungkook said, with no humor in his voice.
The older man came over and really looked at Jungkook. “You really like her?”
“Something like that,” Jungkook shrugged, turning back to look at you sleeping in the chair. “Whatever she needs, I’ll pay for it.”
“The cat or her?”
Jungkook didn’t answer, he didn’t need to.
—
You brought Eden home the next morning, a smile on your face as you cuddled the warm ball of fur.
Well, you brought her to Jungkook’s home. You weren’t going to be able to keep her in the dorms so Jungkook’s apartment was going to have to work in the meantime.
He didn’t pitch a fit like you had presumed he would, he was surprisingly understanding and welcoming of the little kitten that had stolen your heart.
Jungkook had bought some stuff from the clinic and Yoongi gave over some supplies they weren’t going to be using for her as well. Even getting her a small baby blue collar with a bell on it to hold her tags.
“I’ll come over to help whenever you want,” you said, turning to drop the kitten on the floor to wander about.
She sniffed around until she flopped on the plush rug and seemed to preen happily. You swooned at her adorable paws and fluffy tail, you’d never been allowed pets at home, so to have one (kinda) now was so meaningful.
Jungkook watched you, his heart sitting heavy in his ribs. He was confused, he was tired. And honestly all he wanted was to lay down. But when you turned to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips he couldn’t help but kiss back eagerly.
“Thank you,” you breathed against his lips. “Thank you for helping her, for helping me.”
“Yeah, of course,” he said, capturing your lips again. He really liked kissing you, finding himself leading you to his couch with his hands wrapping around your waist to grab at the small of your back.
You both tumbled onto the cushions with a heavy sigh, Jungkook kissing and sucking on your neck and collarbones. “Fuck baby,” he breathed, feeling the excitement of having you coursing through his veins.
“K-Kook,” you whined softly, willing to spend the morning fooling around with him. Especially after he helped you and Eden so much. He didn’t even tell you how much it was to give her the emergency treatment.
He promised Yoongi gave him a good deal, but that didn’t mean it was inexpensive.
Yeji’s words lingered in the back of your head but you tried desperately not to think about it too much. Because all you cared about was Jungkook’s hands roaming your body, his sweet lips kissing down your neck and to your chest.
You spent the morning tangled together, the cute purrs of a very sleepy, but content kitten in the background.
--
“You’re leading him on, Y/N,” Yeji said with a soft sigh.
“I am not! He’s not interested in dating me, Yeji, he’s the campus fuckboy-”
“When was the last time you heard him sleeping with someone other than you? When was the last time he was spotted at a party? Y/N, he’s spending all his extra time with you. You and that damned cat.”
Jungkook and you had been spending more and more time together recently. And most of it wasn’t spent fucking. It was hanging out, watching movies, playing with the cat or going out to eat.
“We can be friends that fuck around sometimes,” you twiddled your thumbs.
Yeji sighed and looked down at her papers. “He seems nice, and he likes you, if you don’t want to date him then be honest with him.”
“You were the one who told me to fuck him in the first place!” You lamented.
“Your poor decisions aren’t my fault, neither are your good ones. If you want to have a skewed moral compass that’s fine. But I’m telling you now, don’t lead a guy like him on.”
“A guy like him?” You questioned.
“One that cares about you.”
—
Fridays were your happy days. You didn’t have any classes and the weekend could be spent doing nothing but your homework, which was minimal, and lazing around with Jungkook and Eden.
The two of you had kinda dubbed Friday’s your days.
You two were watching another movie on the couch, eyes watching the screen. Jungkook was resting back in the cushions, brown orbs fluttering as he struggled to keep them open.
He’d been working extra shifts at the bar, something you hadn’t really noticed. A few projects had been due so you were more focused on getting those done than hanging around with people.
Yeji had whined to you so you decided to hang out with her for the evening the other night.
Jungkook texted you this morning asking if you were busy and wanted to chill. You anticipated a little more than watching a movie but you didn’t want to be pushy, especially since he was so tired.
“Baby,” he called.
He’d started calling you the term of endearment a while back and you hadn’t corrected him, just letting him do whatever he wanted. It was easier than listening to him complain. It also caused flutters to rise in your chest that you promptly ignored each and every time.
“Yeah?” You asked, looking at him.
“What are we?”
The words hung in the air, shocking you entirely.
What could you say to that? Did you... Did you tell him?
No, you couldn’t there wasn’t anything for you to say to him-so in a panic you let out a puff of laughter. Although, Jungkook didn’t share your humor in this situation. And you knew this was going to take a turn for the worse.
“I’m serious, Y/N,” he stated.
“No you’re not Jungkook,” you played it off, the dangerous thudding in your chest making you feel almost sick.
“Y/N,” he said, voice firmer as he sat up and looked at you. “I’ve been trying to ask you out for weeks, but you keep either deflecting me or telling me ‘now isn’t a good time’, when is it gonna be a good time to talk about us?” He asked, eyes glimmering.
“Y-You fuck around with people Jungkook, I’m not interested in dating a fuck boy,” you stammered.
Fuck!
Jungkook’s eyes dimmed.
“Is that all you think of me? Really, Y/N?” He asked. “After everything we’ve done? After everything I...”
He wouldn’t look at you for a moment. Or he couldn’t bring himself to do so. You swallowed thickly and watched as Eden trotted into the room. Jungkook looked to the cat and then to you before letting a defeated chuckle out of his lips.
“Who knew you’d be the one breaking my heart, baby,” he whispered.
Your eyebrows shot up as you looked at him. “J-Jungkook,” you said, trying to get a grip on your spiraling thoughts.
“I think you should go,” he said, still not lifting his gaze to yours. You watched as a few drops hit the couch.
Was he…
“Jungkook-”
“Please Y/N? I really can’t hold out long,” he pleaded, voice thick with emotion.
You scrambled to stand up and head to the door. Eden followed after you and you were about to pick her up when Jungkook called. “I’ll still watch her… I have her papers,” he said, voice hoarse like he was keeping his cries back.
“Okay… Goodbye Jungkook,” you said, walking out of his apartment, mind reeling. So much so you didn’t hear him whisper your name in grief.
“Goodbye baby…”
So much for Fridays being your happy days…
You wandered aimlessly for a while. How much time had passed? An hour? Two? Twenty minutes? You really couldn’t be certain, but you found yourself back at your dorm. You walked in and felt wetness on your face.
You were… crying?
No… You were sobbing. Your chest ached, heart pounding in your head. Why were you crying so hard? Did-Did Jungkook really mean that much to you? Or was it because you weren’t going to see Eden again? Even that thought made a sour face appear, because you couldn’t keep lying to yourself.
Because look where it got you.
Alone, all over again.
You crawled into bed and looked at your phone with watery eyes. No messages. Jungkook had been texting you goodnight recently, and asking if you’d eaten.
There was nothing.
No messages, no calls. And you felt like an idiot for expecting one, for even humoring the thought of Jungkook being okay after what you did. You did exactly what Yeji said you shouldn’t. You played with him. You wanted the relationship without the hard parts. Without the uncomfortable topics of feelings and eventual arguments and fights. And that isn’t fair.
Not to Jungkook and not to you either.
But how do you fix it? How do you tell him… that you actually might have feelings for him as well?
Would you even have the opportunity to do that at this point? Some part of you hoped that you would be able to go back to him. To tell him you were sorry.
But there was a bigger part of you that had no idea how to proceed.
—
You were sitting in the library, Namjoon trying for the fiftieth time to try and explain this portion of your assignment to you.
It had been a week and Jungkook still hadn’t reached out to you. You hadn’t even seen him at school. It was as if he didn’t exist. And that was breaking your heart more and more as time passed by.
Jungkook had become more than a booty call, and you had to him as well. And you completely disregarded his emotions and ran away like a scared puppy. You didn’t even try to listen to him, because at that moment-you didn’t care.
You cared more about your comfort than his emotions and his attempt at creating something more between the two of you.
He’d taken your virginity for fuckssake, but you were the one struggling to commit to him.
“Y/N? What’s going on with you this week? You’re really out of it,” Namjoon said.
You swallowed hard and found tears welling up in your eyes. You’d tried to bury your feelings. You tried to forget about it all. You wanted to move on, but you couldn’t. Because ultimately, you were wrong. You shouldn’t have led Jungkook on. And you shouldn’t have ignored his attempts in the past to possibly move your relationship from a casual arrangement to something more exclusive and intimate.
Possibly life changing at the end of the day.
And there was nothing you could do to stop your tears now.
Because you just wanted him back.
“Y/N? Shit, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Namjoon asked, moving closer to support you. “Hey… what’s got you so upset huh?”
“I-I think I like Jungkook,” you cried.
Namjoon reeled back in confusion. “T-The fuckboy?”
“I-I’ve been hanging out with him for months and we’ve fucked around but he saved my cat and I just like talking to him and-and he’s never thought of me as anything other than me… He’s made me feel like a person and not a studying machine… I fucked it up Namjoon,” you sobbed.
The older man was at a loss of what to do for you, you were still in the library and people were starting to look at the pair of you in concern.
“D-Do you want me to call Yeji? Or Hobi? Shit, uh, I c-can call-”
“Y/N!” Yeji’s voice called through the library, walking over as she started to hold you. “Hey, hey,” she cooed. “Come on, let’s get you to your dorm.”
You sniffled helplessly, like a child recovering from a massive meltdown.
“Yeah,” you whispered, gathering your things as you tried to keep your tear stricken face from plain view. People weren’t outright rude to you generally, but you knew that their impression of you was the cold bitch who only knew how to study.
It was the front you’d portrayed for years, until Yeji started to wear it down and Jungkook demolished it completely. Or so you’d hoped. Especially in regards to him.
Unfortunately for both of your hearts, yours wasn’t ready to hear its own call. To hear Jungkook’s.
Yeji managed to get you back to your dorm, and when she shut the door the waterworks started all over again. You clung to the younger girl and sobbed hard.
“Y/N?! Hey! What’s wrong, huh? What’s going on-”
“I fucked up so bad, Yeji!” you sobbed.
Yeji sighed, nodding as she led you to your bed, sitting down with you while brushing your hair away from your face. “What did you say to him, huh?”
“That he didn’t really want a relationship. That I wasn’t interested in dating someone who fucked around,” you cried.
A deeper sigh came from your friend, before a soft chuckle reached your ears. “I didn’t know it would take this much to get you to date him. Or this many tears,” she cooed.
You turned with your watery and puffy face and looked at her. “What do you mean, Yeji?”
She smiled softly. “When you started looking at his pictures you didn’t go for the sexy ones, you looked at all of the soft ones, remember? I knew you weren’t going to be able to resist.”
You looked at her with your watery eyes and she brought you into a tight hug. “I don’t think this is unfixable, Y/N, that man is kinda a big simp for you. You know he hates cats? Or he used to? He saw you with Eden that night and took her in for you, and has been caring for her with you. I think you have a chance to make this right. Just be honest, and apologize.”
You sniffled, wiping your eyes. “I don’t know where to start,” you said, voice wavering with uncertainty.
“‘I’m sorry’ will probably work just fine.”
--
It sounded so easy when Yeji said it last night as she comforted you. But now you stood with Jungkook’s favorite coffee drink and you could feel your hands sweating. And it had nothing to do with the warm drink in your hands. You held another piece of paper in your hand, but you didn’t care as much about that.
At least not anymore.
You were so nervous. More nervous than you had been when you took your entrance exams, more nervous than the finals you just totally flunked. You had retakes coming up because your teachers were just as shocked at your blatant failing as you were. That was part of the project you’d been working on with Namjoon in the library when you had your meltdown the other day.
But honestly, you’d fail them all over again if it meant that Jungkook would forgive you for being such a grade A asshole. Because he didn’t deserve that.
Without any more ceremony, you knocked on the door.
“Coming!” his voice called through the door.
Your heart stammered at the sound. You didn’t realize how much you missed it after a week of not hearing it.
“Yeah-oh... Hi Y/N,” he said, eyes immediately turning distant. You panicked and shoved the coffee towards him.
“I’m failed!”
Jungkook tilted his head, confused at your stammering voice and the drink being pushed towards him. “You... what?” he asked, needing clarification.
You could feel the embarrassment coursing through you. But you’d come too far to quit now, and you needed to apologize at the very least.
“I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you said, looking up at him with your sad expression. “I failed. I failed you first. And in turn, I failed myself and... and us,” you said, the words falling from your lips without much thought. And once they started, they didn’t stop.
“I failed my finals,” you whispered. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I was supposed to be studying. I couldn’t stop thinking about the nights on the couch when we would cuddle with Eden and drink coffee. I missed our laundry days, I missed watching movies. I-I missed you. I fucked up, I disregarded your feelings because I wasn’t ready to accept my own... It was wrong of me and I-I’m sorry,” you breathed.
He seemed stunned.
And to be honest, he was. You weren’t known for apologizing for anything. You had this front that Jungkook could see through the moment he’d approached you in the library. At first he thought you were just hot and wanted to fuck, but as you two started to hang out more, and fuck more, he found that he just thought your closeness and tender heart with tsundere exterior was cute.
Now that you’re here, apologizing to his face. He knew how much this must’ve taken, he’d have to thank Yeji for helping you once more. No doubt the time apart had hurt you just as much as it had him. And he was surprised when he didn’t even want to drown his sorrows in another woman, or alcohol. He just looked at the few photos of you in his phone and snuggled that damned cat he was certain would be the death of him.
But, that was all a conversation you two could have later.
Right now, he was interested in the paper in your hand.
“What are you holding?” he asked, in lieu of an answer.
“My final,” you said, looking at him with your beautiful eyes he swore he could get lost in sometimes.
“Why did you bring your final to me?”
“Because I failed. I failed almost all my finals this semester.”
Jungkook was shocked, because you’d said it but he didn’t necessarily expect you to fail that badly. Was it failing in your eyes or in the eyes of actual academia?
“What did you get?” he asked.
“Thirty-seven percent,” you said with a hot face.
Jungkook was stunned now. Because that was failing. No doubt about it. “W-what? Baby that’s awful... I’m sorry-”
“You called me baby,” you whispered. A small smile on your face. “C-Can I come in?”
He sighed and opened the door, letting you inside of his apartment. You moved inside and set his coffee down on the counter before Eden came trotting into the entryway with a very loud meeeooowwww!
“She’s been such a little shit,” he laughed. “I think she missed you, mommy.”
“I missed you,” you said to the cat, a smile on your features as she rubbed against you and meowed happily. She flopped down on her side and you rubbed her face and belly, surprisingly remaining unscathed. When she seemed content and pranced away you stood and turned to Jungkook again. “I missed you too. A lot.”
Jungkook smiled at you. “I missed you too, baby,” he said. “I accept your apology.”
Your heart hammered in your chest, looking at him with a tenderness he didn’t see coming. “I-I want to be with you, Jungkook.”
He came closer, bringing you into his arms, kissing your temple. “Then that’s where you’ll be, baby. With me.”
With that he moved his lips to yours, wrapping his arms around your lower back and squeezing you tight to his body. You sighed happily, curling into his warmth and embrace as you felt the course of want throb through your body. Jungkook’s hand moved from your lower back to your ass and squeezed. You gasped into his mouth and he smirked. “Yeah? Wanna have make up sex?”
You flushed at his blatant egging you on, but you also hadn’t had him in so long and you really wanted to kiss him and hold him. As mushy and gross as that was, it made your heart flutter to know he wanted you just as much. You didn’t want to be ashamed of the joy this man brought you. So you kissed him back as your answer, following his lead to his bedroom. Jungkook squeezed your hips and kicked his door shut.
“Jump baby,” he encouraged. You did as he asked and jumped into his waiting arms, making a soft squeak when his hands grabbed onto your ass.
“Jungkook,” you murmured, kissing his jaw and up to his ear. He sighed in pleasure as your sweet mouth worked eager pecks into his skin, causing goosebumps to raise along his arms and neck.
“Yes, fuck...” he groaned, cradling your neck as he carried you to his bed.
After a few more hot kisses he laid you down carefully, towering over you with a hungry expression on his face, but also feeling oddly emotional to have you now.
“Gonna fuck you baby,” he promised, bringing his lips to yours once more. His mouth was warm and comforting as he teased his tongue inside. You let him in and let the heady kiss continue to fuck you up more and more.
“Want you,” you breathed. “I always want you, Jungkook... Want to be yours,” you whispered.
“You are mine,” he growled, capturing your mouth again and again. It seemed you could barely breathe without him trying to steal the very words and breath from your lungs through his kiss.
You lifted your legs to cage in his waist as he started to press you further and further into the bed. With devious hands you tugged on his shirt to pull it off his body. He let you, allowing the material to fall to the floor and surging back to connect your mouths.
It didn’t occur to you how much Jungkook liked kissing you until you had him trying to suck your soul out of your mouth like this. But it only added to the heat and desire in the situation. To be desired and to desire someone, it was consuming the two of you in this moment.
You were consuming each other. And you couldn’t stop, you didn’t want to stop. Ever.
“Jungkook~” you called when he started sucking on your neck and shoulder. He bit down and caused your legs to squeeze his waist from the pleasure.
“Yes baby, fuck...” he encouraged, dipping on hand under your skirt to touch your soaking core. “So wet...” he marveled, licking and sucking his way back to your mouth. “Let me touch?”
“Yes! Please, please touch me,” you begged, rolling your hips forward. You’d been with Jungkook several times at this point. You knew what to do to make him crazy, and how to pleasure yourself with his body against yours.
He groaned, your pleading tone making his cock throb with need. “Want my fingers pretty? Want me to make you cum on my tongue?”
You nodded quickly, the idea of his hot mouth on your aching center had you mewling his name. “Jungkook! Jungkook please,” you cried.
“Of course, love eating your little cunt,” he moaned, pushing your skirt up and away from your center. His greedy hands pulling your panties to the side and he didn’t waste any time before connecting his mouth to your wet heat.
“Jungkook!” you cried, head falling back into his sheets as he pleasured you. “Fuck, feels so good!” You found your hand tangling into his hair, tugging as he licked at your clit with his tongue flattened.
If there was one way Jungkook would like to go out of this world, it was with his head between your thighs, because he was sure this was the closest thing to heaven. You tasted incredible to him, and your sweet whimpers and mewls while he ate you out drove him insane in the best way.
You were writhing in pleasure, Jungkook pushing two fingers inside your heat to egg you closer to the orgasm you desperately craved. He moaned when you gave his hair another sharp tug, making his hips buck into the mattress to try and relieve the pressure in his lower stomach and throbbing cock.
“Baby,” he groaned. “Taste s’good,” he slurred against your pussy. It made your mind dizzy with how much he enjoyed pleasuring and tasting you. You worried about it when you first started having sex. You thought men didn’t particularly like it, and before you’d even started you worried he wouldn’t like it or wouldn’t be interested in doing it but boy oh boy. Jungkook very quickly proved you wrong.
He seemed to get off on it almost as much as you.
“Jungkook!” you whined, feeling his fingers thrusting inside you gingerly to ease you into opening up. “Baby~”
“That’s it, my good girl,” he purred, licking at your clit again to give you the extra push he knew would send you over the edge into bliss.
Your legs tensed around his head and Jungkook moaned into your core as you found yourself being thrown into your orgasm with little warning. “Jungkook! Fuck, I’m cumming!”
He eased you through it, gingerly thrusting his fingers while softly kissing your core. “Good girl, cum for me...”
“Baby... Need you, let me suck your dick? Please? Wanna taste you too,” you pleaded, reaching for his pants.
Jungkook was a weak man for his girlfriend begging to suck his dick. Especially when his girlfriend was you. Your sweet pleading eyes looking at him. How could he resist?
“Of course baby, all for you...” He said, standing up to pull his pants and boxers off in one swift motion while you tugged your shirt and bra off frantically, tossing them to meet his on the floor.
Once you two were naked, Jungkook approached with his hard cock in his hand as he slowly pumped himself to relieve the desperate ache he felt. “Gonna suck me baby?” he asked, watching with hooded eyes as you lowered yourself to the floor on your knees.
“Yes, wanna suck you off,” you said, kissing his lower stomach with tender kisses. Jungkook sighed happily at your sweet mouth but soon you were replacing his hand with your own, pumping his length while biting your lip and looking into his eyes with your demure gaze. “You know, I’ve never been one for nicknames in the bedroom... but I think I can make an exception...”
Jungkook raised his brows at you, hips jolting at the thought of you calling him a name in the bedroom. You’d kept it pretty basic with ‘baby’ and his name, which wasn’t a bad thing. He much preferred your helpless cries of pleasure than any name...
But, Jungkook was also a rather simple man in the bedroom and he had the common name kink.
“Gonna call me daddy baby?” he asked, teasing your lip with his thumb.
“If you want,” you said, licking his tip and opening your mouth to let some of his cock move inside your warmth.
“Fuck, yeah,” he nodded. “I want you to, please baby...”
“Yes daddy,” you purred, taking his cock deeper in yet.
Jungkook dropped his head back, succumbing to the pleasure that was your pretty mouth. You had learned rather quickly how to suck his dick and he couldn’t say he wasn’t appreciative. It wasn’t easy to learn someone else’s pleasure and how they liked to be treated and handled outside the basic respectful ways, but you had always known his tells and spots almost right out the gate.
It was honestly almost annoying at first. But fuck if it didn’t feel amazing right now. You massaged the tip with your tongue while gently bobbing your head along his shaft and palming his balls with a firm yet careful grip.
His hand came to collect your hair in a ponytail that he gathered in his fist as you kept sucking him off. His mind reeled with the pleasure your hot mouth gave him, his abs clenching gently at your gags and chokes as you continued to push his cock further down your throat.
“Yessss, baby, fuck-lemme fuck your throat? Huh? You’ve gotten so much better at it,” he asked, raising an attractive brow at you and you couldn’t help the wetness that pooled between your thighs.
“Whatever you want, I’m yours,” you said, opening your mouth further and letting him grab your head a little firmer before starting to shallowly thrust inside your mouth and throat.
You inhaled through your nose, easing your throat to relax as he kept thrusting gingerly. “Doing good baby, keep breathing, fuck-argh, your little mouth feels so fucking good,” he growled, gritting his teeth as he felt your throat constrict around his cock.
You gagged softly as his dick hit the back of your throat and even pushed a little beyond. But the expression he wore on his face made your thighs clench. He looked so fucking hot like this, eyes hooded and glazed with lust and sweat starting to form on his temples. You wanted to please him, so you swallowed causing his thighs to tremble slightly from the pleasure.
“Fuck, Y/N, need to fuck you now. Or I’m gonna bust down your throat,” he sighed, pulling you off of him and licking his lips. “Want me inside you baby?”
You nodded, getting up and heading to the bed. Just as Jungkook went to the bedside table to grab a condom you reached for his hand.
“Hey... You haven’t fucked anyone else right?” you asked, voice small and soft.
He shook his head. “No baby, not since we started.”
“Then... I’m on the pill, if you want to go raw?” you asked, voice sheepish.
Jungkook’s eyes widened. “You-You want to?”
You flushed in embarrassment but nodded. Because it was true. You did want to have him that way. “I-I want to know what it’s like.”
He moved in closer to kiss you, watching you drop back onto his bed and nestling into his sheets. Jungkook brought his hand to your center to find you soaking, making a soft smirk spread across his features. “Want me to fill your pussy baby? Want me to cum inside you?”
You nodded eagerly. “Yes, yes please daddy, fill me up?” you begged.
Jungkook wasn’t going to deny a request as sweet as that. “Spread your legs,” he said, moving his hands from your center to hook into your knees as you moved to accommodate him between your thighs.
“Please baby... don’t make me wait anymore, I missed you so much,” you whimpered.
“No more teasing baby, I’ll put it in,” he promised, running his cock between your lips to get it wet with your juices before he pushed in slowly.
You whined as you felt the full feeling of him moving inside of you. “Kook~” you mewled, reaching for his hand. He intertwined your fingers, bringing his other hand to your thigh to hold it in place.
“Yeah baby? Feel good?” he asked, setting a steady rhythm that had your heart thudding in your chest.
“Yes daddy! Feels so fucking good, love your cock in me,” you breathed, squeezing his hand as he picked up the pace and started pushing into you faster.
“Wanna fuck you hard baby, wanna fuck your pretty pussy full of my cum,” he growled, moving to kiss and suck at your chest. You whined and wrapped your arms around his neck as he thrusted inside you.
You could feel every inch of him. As practical and smart as condoms were, holy shit this felt incredible. You could feel him, the heat of his cock and the hardness that sent your mind into a dizzy swirl of arousal and desire.
“Please... Please fuck me baby, wanna feel your cum,” you hiccuped, crying out when he took your nipple in his mouth and sucked on it.
You felt a shiver of bliss run across your body, Jungkook’s body moving on top of yours and creating the desperate ache of your orgasm building within you.
Jungkook was panting against your skin, holding your leg up as he pounded into your wet heat over and over again, making his own mind swirl in desperation. “Fuck... fucking tight pussy, you feel so fucking good baby... Like my cock inside you? Like me fucking you hard?”
“Yes! Yes daddy!” you sobbed, gripping his back and digging your nails in as Jungkook groaned in pleasure.
“Such a wet little cunt, you like this big dick huh baby? Like daddy fucking you hard with his big cock, like a good little slut. Feels so good, shit,” he groaned, rutting his hips into yours and encouraging you to grind your hips against his. “Yes, just like that.”
“Kook! Kook! Baby,” you cried, moving to kiss him as he aggressively fucked you into his mattress. The lewd sounds of skin clapping together filled the room, your moans and cries flooding Jungkook’s ears.
“Yes, fuck yes give it to me baby, fuck yourself stupid on my cock,” he snarled, biting down on your shoulder as you tugged his hair. “Want to see you cream baby, need to feel your tight pussy cum on me.”
Jungkook kept his pace firm inside of you, effectively slamming you into his mattress as you held onto him for dear life. He hadn’t been rough with you like this in a while, but it was also not aggressive in the way you thought it would be. Even though he was fucking you like a savage, it was from a place of passion. He couldn’t hold himself back because you felt too good, he wanted to feel you.
Every inch of him filled you and had you gasping and clinging to him. “Please baby, wanna cum! Wanna cum for you daddy, make me cum for you?” You pleaded.
“Of course, pretty girl, I’ll make your pussy cum hard for me. Make you cream this cock,” he panted. “Want to see my cum pouring from your cunt, fuck!”
“Then give it to me,” you said, your legs hooking behind his back as he fucked into you harshly.
“Fuck! Fuck, Y/N,” he moaned, bringing his thumb to your clit to urge you closer to the edge he found himself rapidly approaching. It had been a while since he’d had sex with you and he hadn’t gone raw in a long while and he knew he wasn’t going to last nearly as long as he’d hope for.
But you didn’t seem to be too concerned about it, just as eager to cum for him as he was for you.
“Cum baby! Please, right there! So close,” you cried.
“Y/N! Baby! Fuck,” he growled out as he bucked his hips into your aggressively while painting your insides white with his thick cum. You gasped at the feeling of his cum inside you and it threw you over the edge into your own orgasm.
Jungkook ground against you harshly, whining his release. “Fuck baby... Made me cum so fucking hard, good girl,” he mumbled out, bringing his lips to yours sweetly. “Breathe baby, breathe with me.”
You followed him, looking into his bleary eyes with your own fucked out ones.
It wasn’t nearly as long as it usually was, but you didn’t give a damn because it was some of the most intense sex the two of you had thus far.
Hopefully there were more fun things like that in your future.
Meeeeooooowwww!
You and Jungkook startled at Eden moving out of his closet.
“Oh what the fuck, did the cat watch us?” Jungkook lamented.
“She doesn’t care-”
“How did she even get in here?!” he sighed, already coming down from his orgasm as he pulled out of you. His eyes connected with your dripping core and he couldn’t help himself. He moved forward to lick your center when the cat jumped up on the bed.
“Hi baby,” you cooed and Jungkook sighed.
“I’m a little busy cat,” he grumbled, looking at your center with wanton desire. You smiled and sat up to place a sweet kiss on his forehead.
“Want to get in the shower?” you asked, raising a brow at him. “She hates water.”
“Yes, lets go-”
Meeeeooowww!
“Shut up cat!”
You giggled at the two of them before leading Jungkook into the bathroom. Your hearts beat against each other as you pulled each other into the shower. Jungkook’s hands were quick to settle on your hips and you could feel the relief at being in his arms again.
It had taken a little finessing, but finally you were able to speak your mind. Speak your truth to Jungkook.
He’d given you his heart and you’d given him yours in turn, and you’d cherish this for as long as you could. You weren’t sure if you were destined to be, you weren’t sure if you’d last a month dating.
But it didn’t matter. At this moment, you two were together.
And that was enough.
#bangtan sorciere#btsafterdarknet#52hertz#ksmutclu#ficswithluv#BTS#Bangtan#BTS smut#BTS fanfic#BTS fanfiction#Jungkook X Reader#Jungkook smut#Jungkook Fuckboy#bts college au#Jessika Hathaway
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They Reject You (maknae line)-03
Pairing: maknae line x reader (fuckboi! Jimin x Reader, Co-worker Taehyung x Reader, Idol Jungkook x Reader)
Warnings: swear words here and there.
Word count: 20K (approx)
A/N: long long long asf! (There's author's note at the bottom too).
Park Jimin
Jimin may have been very determined while pledging that he will make things right but right now, he's utterly confused and clueless.
How exactly does he make things right?
If he were to go by the way movies suggest, he should be sending you chocolates and bouquets of flowers. But the question is, will that do? Will that be enough? Can hurting someone emotionally be fixed by something material?
He doesn't know.
Oh, that's another thing. In recent days, Jimin's mind has been throwing questions at him which he has no answers to. Which, needless to mention, has been frustrating him to no end.
He feels like there's a lot he needs to figure out before taking any action. Because lord knows he doesn't want to mess up again and given his history he has a habit of doing exactly that over and over again.
The question that has been bugging him the most is; why does he even want to fix things with you?
It's a question Jimin wholeheartedly avoids thinking about. Because he doesn't have an answer and thinking about this particular question makes him feel a little too uncomfortable.
However, to him, the question also feels like a big empty blank that he needs to fill in order to make sense of what he should do next. Almost as if, if he figures out this one thing, he will have all his answers.
Which again, doesn't make sense to him. How can figuring out one thing give answers to the rest? But again, he should begin somewhere. Which obviously isn't going to be answering the big question.
Hence he does what he has been doing for the past few days; searching for ways to apologise on YouTube.
It's quite obvious that his YouTube searches haven't been very successful. But in his defence, it isn't Jimin's fault. It's YouTube's.
Almost every video that YouTube suggests as a response to his search, has this implication that the girl being apologised to, is the lover of the person seeking forgiveness.
Huh?
But that's so not the case. You're not his lover.
At some point, Jimin got so frustrated that he went on a mini rant to Taehyung, about how this is the 21st century and how a boy and girl need not always have a romantic relationship. And it's while he's ranting via text that he is hit by the brilliant idea of inviting Taehyung over. After all, if there's someone who's better than Jimin when it comes to the ladies, it's Taehyung.
Half an hour later, Jimin couldn't rush to the door any faster when the bell rang.
Taehyung greets the troubled boy with a scoff of disbelief. "Never seen you this excited over my arrival, ever."
Jimin is the least bit interested in paying attention to his best friend's teasing. "You gotta help me. It's already been three days and I haven't been able to figure anything out."
"It's about making up to that girl, right?" On receiving a nod from Jimin, Taehyung continues, "What was her name again?"
"Y/N."
"Right, Y/N," Taehyung makes a note to himself, having a hunch it's a name he will hear quite often. "So where exactly are you stuck?"
Jimin leads his friend to the couch so that Taehyung can have a look at the screen. "Just look at the results. There are literally thousands of responses but not one that's of use. What's the point of having internet if it can't help you when you need?!"
Taehyung snickers. "Yeah, you did go on a half an hour rant about it via text."
Jimin huffs at the way Taehyung seems to not share the same level of frustration as him. But alas, maybe him being in a light mood is a good thing after all. That way Taehyung can think optimally and come up with a solution and then Jimin can finally have a good night's sleep.
Gosh when Jimin thinks about it, it sends shivers down his spine. He really needs to sleep.
"Great! You know all about it, so now get on with it," Jimin speaks with a firm nod of determination and turns his body ninety degrees so that he is entirely facing Taehyung.
And then just keeps staring.
Taehyung stares back for a second or two and then bursts out laughing. He laughs so hard, that his ears miss the questions Jimin throws his way, querying about the cause of his laughter. He laughs so hard, that he has to place a pillow against his stomach because it has started hurting. He laughs so hard that it takes him a total of five minutes to stop.
When he does stop laughing, he utters a sentence that sends Jimin into a similar laughter fit.
"You're so in love."
Or maybe wait.
Jimin doesn't laugh.
Jimin blinks at Taehyung blankly and then scoffs in annoyance. Taehyung can't be serious. "I can't believe you're in the mood of making jokes when I'm so stressed."
"Oh, I can assure you, I'm not joking," Taehyung shakes his head with a chuckle, denying Jimin's words. "You're definitely in love."
Jimin pauses. He doesn't like how sure Taehyung seems to be of his words. It makes Jimin realise that Taehyung isn't joking. Taehyung really thinks Jimin is in love.
Huh.
"Don't you think I'd know if I was in love?"
Taehyung snorts. "Clearly not."
Now Jimin's curious. "What makes you so sure of your words?"
"Hmm, let's think for a moment," Taehyung responds, pretending to think deeply for a moment. "You have been worried sick, haven't been behaving like yourself and are throwing tantrums like a five-year-old kid. All because a girl hasn't been talking to you–"
"That could simply mean she's a very good friend to me," Jimin counters even before Taehyung can finish his sentence.
"Well, you don't kiss your friends while drunk."
Jimin shuts up at that, not because he agrees with Taehyung's statement but because he needs a moment to figure out what to reply to that. He needs to think of something that is a justifiable reason for why he had kissed you in his drunken state of mind.
Unfortunately, the best he comes up with is; "I didn't know what I was doing. I was drunk. Plus, me kissing someone shouldn't be news, drunk or not."
Taehyung nods. "Right, that's your thing. Kissing and sleeping around."
For the first time in his life, Jimin feels an odd sensation in his chest at the mention of his player lifestyle. He can't place why (another thing he can't figure out, yes) but for the first time he wishes these words were not used to describe him. But admittedly, that's who he is. It's only normal to describe him by who he is.
Jimin keeps quiet as a sign of letting Taehyung know that he can go on.
"But surprisingly enough, since Y/N has stopped talking to you, you haven't fooled around with anyone," Taehyung squints his eyes, looking like a detective who's trying to solve a complicated riddle. "Wonder why that might be."
Jimin misses the sarcastic tone completely because he's taken aback by his friend's words. It's only now that he realises that he indeed, has not fooled around with anyone in the last week or so.
It's true that he has been going to parties and have been getting drunk and have been doing what he usually does. Except for one thing, it seems. Hooking up.
Oddly enough, the thought of hooking up with someone didn't even occur to him. It's not like he restrained himself or something. It's like he forgot that aspect of his life, entirely.
What the fuck.
Taehyung silently watches the realisation play out on Jimin's face. It's entertaining, to say the least. His sweet fuckboy of a friend is in love and has zero clue about it. How sweet.
He only hopes Jimin comes to his senses while this denial is still sweet and not when it's all bitter and sour. But looking at the way Jimin is struggling, one thing is for sure and that is, he isn't going to get his 'happy realisation' just yet.
"Your bulb will take time to light up," Taehyung interrupts Jimin's thoughts, "Let me just help you with the apologising thing."
---------------------------------------------------------------
Jimin has been standing in front of your door for five minutes now. With a huge flower bouquet at that. Because according to Taehyung:
"It's not what you give that matters, it's the thought you put into it. It could be flowers, it could be chocolates–yes I know, at the end of the day they are mere materials. But what's wrong with that?
You've gotta start somewhere. What's important is that you show her that you have realised your mistake, you're sorry and that you'd never do something like that ever again. Sending gifts is not all. It might not earn you her forgiveness but it shows that you're trying and that's something."
Hence, despite not considering sending gifts as an option at first, here Jimin is, doing exactly that. But then it's not like he could come up with a better idea himself and he thinks Taehyung is right, he should at least start somewhere.
But he wanted to make it as meaningful as he could. Which is why he did a little research and showed up here himself. He needs to do just one last thing, press the calling bell.
He sighs and tells himself that there's no point in delaying it, the sooner he does it, the better. Plus, it only means that he will be able to see you after another three-day stretch.
The thought of seeing you again, does it for him. He presses the bell and with a bated breath, waits for you to open the door.
Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait long. You swing the door open and Jimin is relieved that your reaction on seeing him is that of surprise and not that of disdain. He would have run in the opposite direction and would have been too ashamed to face you had that been the case.
Despite not running away, Jimin seems to have lost his capability to talk, for all he does is stare at your face. It gets to the point where you have to be the one to ask him what he's doing at your doorstep.
Jimin looks away as soon as he snaps out of it and remembers what he's here for. He still doesn't speak and just pushes the bouquet in his hands towards you and urges you to take it.
It's not like you hadn't noticed the bouquet, it's unmissable really. It's this big, gorgeous arrangement of pink roses and the lighting of the hallway falls on the flowers in a way that makes it look like a portrait. When Jimin tries handing over the bouquet to you, you're once again taken by surprise and out of instinct you take hold of the bouquet without a second thought.
The moment Jimin knows that you have the bouquet, he takes a few steps back, bows to you and takes off.
Well, guess he did run away, after all.
You don't even get the time to question him as to why the sudden flowers as you stand there for a moment until you're sure that Jimin isn't coming back. With a confused sigh, you head back into your apartment.
"I should put them in water," you mumble to yourself and rest the bouquet on your centre table.
However, it's at this very moment that your eyes land on a piece of paper that seems to have been folded with great care and has been kept in such a way that it isn't visible from the front but only from the top.
With a small frown of curiosity, you take the paper out with your fingers. On unfolding, you find a small printed note on the left side and a handwritten note on the right.
The left side of the note read: "Pink roses signify gratitude, admiration and appreciation."
The right side of the note read: "You're not the stupid one, I am."
There's a brief moment where you are clueless and you have to think as to what Jimin could possibly mean. However, it doesn't take long for you to figure it out as you're hit with the memory of letting Jimin know how he has made you feel for a very, very long time.
One particular line sticks out and you have a hunch that his note refers to that.
"I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn’t even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve.”
Huh.
Is...Is Jimin apologising?
No way.
After that day you had thought Jimin would either just stop talking to you or would just show up a few days later as if nothing ever happened. Never had you considered that he would choose to apologise. But apparently, that's exactly what he has decided on.
Wow. This is way more surprising than the sun rising in the west.
You do not doubt that he must have taken the help of some of his friends but that's only fair. You can imagine how hard it must be for someone like Jimin to apologise to someone.
You shake your head in amusement and bring a vase filled with water to place the flowers in.
Honestly, you hadn't thought much about Jimin since that day. The way you felt lighter after saying what you had wanted to for a long time, was incredibly freeing. You were also proud of yourself for finally standing up and for sticking to your decision to cut him off. It made you wish you had done it sooner.
But now that Jimin is apologising, in his own way, you are a tad bit surprised that it doesn't throw you into a mental debate. That you don't have to battle yourself on what to do.
Things are pretty clear in your head.
You forgive Jimin.
You had forgiven him long before he even sent you the flowers. With your bottled-up emotions out of the way, it gave you the clarity you needed to see things for how they were.
You had always had a weak spot for Jimin. Jimin, not so much. You were just another girl to him. But the thing with having weak spots is that they make you vulnerable.
But Jimin is Jimin. He has no clue about these kind of things. Does he? For you, to expect Jimin to understand the sensitivity of the matter, was basically setting yourself up for disappointment from the get-go.
It's the same as looking for a mango in a banyan tree. It's fruitless.
That does not mean, that you blame yourself. When emotions that are beyond your control, get involved, the practical mind is forced to take a back seat. Romantic affection is for sure one such feeling where one tends to lose their thinking and decision-making capabilities.
You forgive Jimin. You also forgive yourself.
Does that mean you'd be okay with being friends with Jimin, again? No, you cannot bring yourself to do that.
The trust and faith you had put in him has been broken and that's enough of a reason for you to move on.
So what is Jimin to you, now?
Someone you still have a weak spot for because it's not like you wake up one day and suddenly all your feelings you harboured for a person disappears. But you know you want to move on. You know you do not wish to go back to sharing the same dynamic with Jimin ever again.
And this time your decision does not come from a place of hurt, anger or frustration. This time it comes from a place of clarity and acceptance, which is also why it doesn't seem difficult to follow through with your choice.
Nevertheless, you do appreciate Jimin giving you flowers. Although, you think there was no need for it.
For a brief moment, you contemplate if you should be texting a thank you to him but then decide otherwise when you remember that you have blocked him. Even if it's for the short span of two minutes to send a text, you don't think you're ready to unblock him just yet.
For the time being you simply settle for putting the vase at the top of one of your drawers and taking good care of them.
----------------------------------------------------------------
The next day it was a bouquet of white flowers with a note that read:
I'm sorry; on the left and I know flowers won't earn me your forgiveness but I'm trying; on the right.
It once again was Jimin at your doorstep and once again, before you could say anything, he had decided his job was done as soon as the flowers were in your hands.
You were too flabbergasted as you had thought that the whole giving you flowers thing was only a one-time thing. You didn't think Jimin would show up for a second time, just the day after, to give you another massive bouquet.
Maybe you should have seen the same thing happening on the third day but somehow you didn't and were just as surprised, if not more, when Jimin showed up with another bouquet on the third day.
Before you could say anything, Jimin was gone.
Which is exactly why you now find yourself unblocking his contact.
You: hey
You: just letting you know I appreciate the flowers but you do not need to send them anymore
You: I forgive you
Jimin is on the phone with Taehyung getting an earful about his cowardness and running, when he receives your text.
"I'm telling you, this flower thing is not going to work. She hasn't even tried to talk to me"
"From what I have heard you are the one who has never allowed her to even open her mouth and–"
"Hold on, someone texted me," Jimin interrupts Taehyung solely to avoid getting called out for the umpteenth time. However, his eyes almost fall out of his sockets when he sees that it's you. "Tae, Y/N texted me!"
Taehyung, too, is surprised to hear this. "What did she say?"
Jimin takes a deep breath, his nostrils flaring as he fills his lungs up with as much air as possible. "Right, I will open her messages."
When he does read the words you have sent him, he is even more surprised. But even more so, he is relieved. Gosh, he feels like he could cry tears of joy.
"She forgave me," Jimin speaks in a tone that is a little too loud for Taehyung's ears.
However, Taehyung doesn't protest as his friend's words seem more important at the moment. "Are you serious? She did? What did she say?"
"She said that she appreciates the flowers and that I need not send them to her anymore and that she forgives me."
Taehyung pauses for a moment and then grins brightly, the relieved and excited tone of his friend making him feel happy. "Then what are you doing fucker? Text her back, you idiot."
Jimin nods but then responds verbally when he remembers that Taehyung is over the phone and not with him in his room. "I'll text her back."
Saying so, he ends the call with Taehyung and starts typing.
Jimin: Thank you
Wait.
Thank you?
Should he say thank you? Is that the right response? But is sending a simple thank you good enough?
He doesn't think so.
Quickly deleting the typed words, he begins to think of a better response.
If not thank you, then what? How about 'How have you been?' No, no, no. That sounds way too casual.
He should send something that appears to be cool and that doesn't make things awkward. At the same time, he should text something that leaves room for a conversation. A proper one.
Geez, texting is difficult.
What if he tries teasing you like he did before everything happened? No, that would make it look like he never took the matter seriously.
Should he...should he just be uncool and be honest for once?
Should he just let you know that he feels like a bag of stones has been lifted off his chest and that he can breathe again? That he feels like he can think properly, again?
That might be too much.
But maybe he can just try letting you know that he's incredibly grateful for your forgiveness without sounding cheesy? Yeah, he can definitely do that.
Jimin: Thank you.
Jimin: that word isn't enough but that's the best I have got
Jimin: I am incredibly grateful and I promise I won't make you regret your choice.
When you read his texts a few minutes later, you're rather surprised. Is Jimin saying these things? There's no way.
But then you come to a conclusion that, there indeed is no way. Jimin must have made a friend of his type out these words. Now, that makes a whole lot of sense.
You chuckle at the thought and react to his messages with a thumbs up and leave it at that.
The moment Jimin sees you reacting to his messages, he types out another message, one that he has delicately crafted in his mind. Something light that hopefully will lead to a proper conversation.
Jimin: How have you been?
Your phone pings and you notice Jimin's text. Something uncomfortable churns in your stomach at his words. Jimin most likely thinks things are back to normal and that you two will once again bicker and joke around in no time.
Guess, you need to break it to him.
You: I've been fine
You: but I would rather have us not go back to the way we were
Jimin is already in the middle of forming another text that conveys that things won't be the same and that he'd do better but his heart literally breaks into pieces when he reads the next text.
You: I don't think we should be in contact anymore
You: it's a proven fact it doesn't do either of us any good 😂
You: especially me.
—--------------------------------------------------------
Jimin has decided to watch a movie. Not just any movie, the fault in our stars. Because he needs something to make him feel sad. Correction; he needs something that he is consciously aware of, to make him feel sad.
It's much much more annoying when you get sad and heartbroken over something and yet you cannot explain why you feel that way. Imagine suddenly getting stabbed by invisible knives that you can't see but can only feel. Yeah, it feels the same.
But who cares anyway? Jimin is watching a movie that will make him plenty sad and unlike you, it won't have him feeling like someone who hasn't been in touch with his emotions for ages.
Taehyung munches on his popcorn slowly, his focus periodically shifting between Jimin and the TV screen.
Taehyung knew something was up the moment Jimin texted him asking if he would like to watch The Fault in Our Stars. For the people who don't know, Jimin does not watch sad movies, like ever. Because irrespective of how much of a fuckboy he is, he is a huge softie on the inside (which is actually very cliche of him). But as his fuckboy-ness would have it, he absolutely hates crying.
Taehyung does not believe that Jimin does not cry or that he tries to keep his tears at bay. Because from the few times that he has seen his friend crying, he knows that he isn't someone who's good at holding his tears back. So no, Jimin does cry and when he does, he cries like a baby. However, what Jimin ensures is that he does not cry in front of anyone.
But here's Jimin, crying in front of Taehyung.
This boy is going to give me a headache, Taehyung thinks with a deep inhale as he once again shifts his focus from Jimin to the screen.
It must have been another fifteen minutes or so when he hears a small sniffle coming from his left. Huh, things haven't even turned that sad in the movie yet.
Taehyung looks at his friend only to realise his suspicions are right when he notices his friend subtly wiping under his eyes.
Taehyung takes hold of the remote and switches the TV off.
He has had enough.
Jimin looks at Taehyung with perplexed features but before he can ask a question, Taehyung is getting up from his seat to turn the lights on.
This makes Jimin quickly grab a few tissues and wipe at the corner of his eyes.
Taehyung rolls his eyes in annoyance. "Sometimes I can't tell if you're a drama queen or a little kid."
Jimin looks at Taehyung with a clueless expression. As long as he pretends he has no clue what Taehyung is talking about, it should be good.
Taehyung simply scoffs and shakes his head in defeat. "Do you want to talk about it or should I just leave?"
This has Jimin facing away from Taehyung and he scowls at the centre table. "I have nothing to talk about."
"Cool then, I have some important work to do, I'll get going."
"Sure do that. Leave me. Everyone does, why shouldn't you?"
Ah. Drama queen, it is.
"So what Y/N left? Like did she leave you on seen or something? Is that why you're so sad and upset?" Taehyung guesses the possible cause of Jimin's state from his words.
Jimin wishes it was that simple. He honestly would give anything for Taehyung's words to be right, for that being the cause of his sadness. But if only.
Taehyung deduces that things might not be that simple when Jimin does not give a verbal answer and appears to become more sulky.
Taehyung makes his way to the couch and claims his previous seat next to Jimin. "What will you take to just tell me what went wrong? I know you're dying to let it out."
Jimin looks at his friend for a moment then suddenly reaches out to grab his phone from the table. He opens your texts and just places his phone in Taehyung's hands.
With a small concentrated frown, he takes a look at the screen and goes through the chats.
"So this is what has gotten you like this," he mumbles to himself. "Have you tried talking to her and telling her that you won't be repeating the same things again?"
Jimin shakes his head. "She never gave me the chance to do so."
Taehyung hums, deep in thought. "What do you want to do now?"
"I don't think it matters."
"It does. Now tell me what do you want?"
Jimin looks up at the ceiling with blurry eyes. "I think I want us to go back to the way we were."
Taehyung, although wanting to, does not show the disbelief he feels at Jimin's words. He keeps his composure calm so that Jimin does not feel uncomfortable. "What you're saying is you want to go back to the way you would annoy her and she would put up with it?"
Jimin's spirit lifts just a little bit when he remembers how things were before and he finds himself absentmindedly nodding.
"Which would also mean going back to the way you would keep sleeping around with people and then at the same time would make flirty comments towards Y/N?"
The tiny little corner of his mouth that had lifted, once again turns into a scowl as Taehyung's words register in his brain. It's as if he's knocked into his senses.
Noticing that Taehyung has successfully managed to grab Jimin's attention, he hopes he can only make Jimin see his point. "Honestly, Jimin have you ever realised where you went wrong? Or did you apologise to her solely because you thought that was what she wanted and that would have her back in your life?"
Questions. Another set of questions. Jimin could honestly scream. But something about Taehyung's gaze makes him unable to run away from the queries like he has been doing all this time.
He considers Taehyung's words for a moment and then mumbles in a small voice, "I don't know."
Taehyung hums, having guessed that answer.
"I just wanted to apologise to her because I know I have hurt her," Jimin keeps his tone soft and vulnerable. "I may not know all the ways in which I have hurt her but I know I should have respected her wishes and should have stopped flirting with her when she had asked."
"I may not know exactly how or why it affected her but I know it led her to be angry–" Jimin breaks off suddenly when a thought occurs to him and soon he looks even more ashamed, "–and they say all anger stems from hidden pain. If that's true then I must have caused her pain."
Taehyung releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. He wonders how his friend can be both stupid and smart at the same time and why exactly does his brain start working when the damage has already been done.
"So you realise that you have caused her some sort of pain?"
"I must have," Jimin agrees.
"Have you then tried figuring out what exactly she means to you?"
Jimin's tears have dried, thanks to the ongoing conversation that has distracted him enough to have the wheels of his brain running again.
"She's someone I care about a lot and someone I want in my life."
"As a friend?" Taehyung pushes.
Jimin nods.
Taehyung hums, "I think you really need to sit with yourself and think things through."
—-------------------------------------------------------
Jimin is dumb and Taehyung is loyal.
Which is why the latter finds himself in the middle of a party, waiting for you to arrive.
A week of Jimin moping and being a sullen child, had Taehyung take matters into his own hands. Jimin could not possibly figure things out by himself even if everyone around him could. Taehyung only hopes he will admit what has been brewing for a long time, when his feelings smack him right across the face.
Taehyung leans against the bar counter, his eyes hardly moving from the entrance as he waits for you to walk through the door.
It takes about another fifteen minutes of his eyes locked on the door, for you to finally emerge.
Taehyung relaxes a breath. He had to do a lot of digging to find a common friend and for him to convince that common friend to somehow convince you to come to the party. He wasn't sure if all of this would work, but now that you're here, success is a step closer.
He gives you five minutes to say your hi's and hello's and then, he's making his way to you.
"And you must be Y/N?"
You look at the guy who seems to know you by your name and frown when you don't recall ever having interacted with him. "And you must be?"
"Taehyung. Kim Taehyung."
Your brain clicks in realisation. Taehyung, a name you have heard Jimin mention many times. However, this is the first time that you get to put a face to the said name.
"I have heard of you," you nod as a feeling of reluctance takes over you. Why is Taehyung approaching you?
He smiles. "I'm not surprised by that."
You return his smile awkwardly and wonder what you should be saying next. "How do you know me?"
"Let's just say I have heard of you as well," his smile turns into a full-blown grin as if he's enjoying this.
"From Jimin?"
"Ah yes. We both have an idiot named Jimin in our lives."
You feel your traitor heart get curious at the confirmation. Taehyung knows of you from Jimin? Jimin talked about you to his friends? The thought of that catches you with surprise as you never thought you were ever important enough to him, for him to do that. You thought you were just another girl who fell for him. However, your curiosity is soon overtaken by the thought of him making light and fun of your feelings.
"That idiot, however, speaks highly of you, which is why I just could not miss the opportunity to speak to you," Taehyung quips, sensing the thoughts inside your head.
You look at Taehyung, wondering what to make of his words. You just find it difficult to believe that Jimin speaks highly of you. One speaks highly of the people they respect and well—no, you don't want your mind to wander there.
"So you're here speaking to me, to verify the things Jimin has said about me?" You keep your tone light, playful and teasing, so as to not come off as rude. While, on the inside, you're really confused as fuck as to what to make out of this. Does Taehyung not know of the recent changes in the dynamics between you and Jimin?
"Oh no, absolutely not," he shakes his head. "I do not doubt a thing Jimin has said about you. I'm only here out of sheer curiosity and with the intent to get to know you better."
And some ulterior purposes. That part he leaves unspoken.
You observe him for a moment and relax a little when you realise that he seems genuine. You don't know, why he's here and what he wants from you, but you decide talking to him won't be of any harm.
—---------------------------------------------------------
Jimin is grumpy as fuck when he walks in and is greeted by the loud music that blasts through the speakers. Goodness, why did he enjoy partying, again?
He really wouldn't be here had it not been for Taehyung's constant nagging that he had something important to say, and that couldn't be done unless he attended the party.
Technically, his words made zero sense. Taehyung couldn't just say whatever important thing he had to say, over the phone? Apparently, according to him, he couldn't.
He prays to whatever god is out there, for the sake of Taehyung that he finds him soon.
The universe, however, has other plans.
Jimjn spots you before he spots Taehyung. He sees you smiling wide and even in the dimmed lights, he can see the way your eyes shine with amusement and joy. As selfish as it is, Jimin feels any amount of hope he might have had, leave at the sight. You're clearly doing fine without him. A part of him wishes you weren't.
It feels eerily similar to the time when he had spotted you on his way to class.
But then he realises you are with a guy. A strange emotion fills him, one that he believes he hasn't felt before, ever. He realises he's jealous. He's so jealous of the lucky bastard who's getting to make you laugh and with whom you seem so comfortable with. With that jealousy, comes a huge wave of insecurity. The guy doesn't seem to have messed up like Jimin did. He doesn't seem to be someone you feel the need to cut off your life. All of which Jimin has done and is.
However, when the light falls on the face of the said guy, Jimin is hit with a sense of anger and confirmation that the said guy is much, much better than Jimin is.
Taehyung is smart, has a good sense of humour and surely knows more when it comes to matters of the heart. Whereas, Jimin has only been confused and no matter how hard he has tried, he has been unsuccessful in clearing up the cloud of confusion.
For a brief moment, he is taken back to the words Taehyung had said to him–you're so in love–which Jimin had found utterly ridiculous at the time. However, now that he finds himself in the hold of jealousy and a brewing insecurity that only you hold the power to put a stop to, he doesn't find the idea as absurd.
He's never been in love before. But somehow he is still hit with the realisation that all his desperation, anger, jealousy and insecurities stem from one thing and one thing only. His love for you.
He is hit with more and more clarity with each passing moment as he stares at you. An overwhelming urge to make you his, washes over him and with strong, determined steps, he walks in the direction where you chat with Taehyung.
The moment the two of you realise Jimin's presence, your smile falters whereas Taehyung's widens.
"Jimin," you whisper, caught completely off guard.
"Y/N," he greets you back. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."
"Me neither," you mumble in a small voice.
"How have you been?"
Neither of you miss the fact that this was the very same question he had asked via text, to which you had made it clear that things would never be the same, instead of actually answering him.
However, now that you both stand in front of each other, you think it would be incredibly rude to not answer him. "I'm fine."
Your short answer leaves no further room for conversation and it's only when you realise that Jimin refuses to avert his eyes from you, that you ask him back the same question.
"I've been anything but fine," Jimin answers, without missing a beat.
His answer is similar to yours in terms of being short and vague. However, his response means exactly the opposite of yours.
You stifle the question that's on the tip of your tongue and push away the overgrowing concern at his answer. This is exactly why you had chosen to end whatever friendship you two had over text. You were unsure of the feelings Jimin would stir within you. Sure, you have made the choice of moving on from him but there was no denying that you haven't moved on yet.
You nod and think it would be best to include Taehyung in the conversation. He would surely know how to break the tension. However, you realise at the same time as Jimin does that Taehyung has disappeared into thin air.
Taehyung's gone, you think with surprise and disbelief, having no clue when he left.
Taehyung's gone, Jimin thinks, beaming with glee and satisfaction.
"Do you want a drink?" Jimin asks, having no intention of leaving.
"I could actually do with some alcohol," you mumble mainly to yourself, but somehow despite the loud music, Jimin manages to hear you. The very next moment he has two drinks in his hands and gracefully offers you one.
"I have a few things to say," he says after a few sips.
Oh god. Please be kind to my heart. You stay quiet. You were not prepared to face Jimin. After texting him that day, you had honestly thought that was it. It was hard for you to send him those words. So incredibly hard. But you knew it was for the best.
A part of you had wished for Jimin to regret losing you. But you knew that thought to be impractical. You knew in reality, Jimin must have slipped into someone's bed instead of giving you a second thought. You had honestly thought Jimin's attempt at apologising with flowers was merely a result of his hurt to the ego. Nevertheless, you appreciate his effort and know better than to have any further expectations from the man.
However, this is incredibly confusing. More so, because the Jimin who was sending you those flowers would run away right after he knew that the flowers had reached their destination. However, this Jimin, stands in front of you with eyes locked with yours, refusing to back down.
"I had sent those flowers to you, because I knew I had to apologise. I knew I messed up. I knew I hurt you. Don't get me wrong, the knowledge that I had hurt you was enough of a slap on my face, but I didn't know what it felt like for you," he takes a pause, "but now I do."
Jimin is aware that comparing what he has put you through with what he felt for merely a few minutes after seeing you with Taehyung, is completely unfair. However, it'd be fair to say he has got a taste of his own medicine and he fucking hates himself to have you put through that, over and over again.
"I know now, because–," he takes a deep breath, afraid you won't believe him, "–I have come to the realisation that I'm in love with you."
Your pupils dilate in shock and after a brief moment, your expressions morph into that of disbelief, much like Jimin had expected.
"I don't expect you to believe it. I know I haven't done much to earn your trust. All I ask is for you to give me a chance to prove myself."
You're too shocked to make coherent thoughts. As a matter of fact, the severity of Jimin's words doesn't click in your brain. How can it, when you have seen it for yourself how appalled Jimin feels at the thought of commitment? How can you digest the thought of Jimin saying these words, that too, to you?
"What do you want, Jimin?" You ask wanting the interaction to be cut short, afraid that the longer you stay in his presence the more you will find yourself inclined to believe his words.
"Let me take you out on a date."
Kim Taehyung
I'm in a relationship.
You absent-mindedly stare at the words on your screen as you feel the mix of emotions resurface yet again.
Taehyung is in a relationship. The Taehyung you love so dearly, is in a relationship. And if you are to go with his status updates, he's quite happy about it as well.
How do you feel about it, exactly?
You feel betrayed, hurt, confused, angry, perplexed, sad, annoyed, embarrassed, lonely, frustrated, upset. These emotions are only a few to name. There's so much you think and believe, you still haven't figured out yet. Anytime, you try to focus on your emotions in hopes that you will be able to let it all out, all you come up with is an empty feeling.
That's another thing. You haven't cried at all. But you want to. You want to just let all of it hit you at once and get it off your chest. Because the heavy uncomfortable feeling that often stirs your heart is not something you wish to deal with for long.
Sometimes your mind comes up with all the little things and moments that had made Taehyung so special to you and you find yourself this close to breaking into uncontrollable sobs. But then it just never happens. It's like someone is pressing the accelerator and the brake at the same time and you're just there, frozen in time, not knowing what to do.
You doubt if you have even fully grasped the concept of Taehyung being in a relationship. The thought that he's in one and you got to learn about it only after he committed, that too through a WhatsApp status, is completely unbelievable to you for some reason. No matter how much you try, a part of you doesn't want to believe it.
It's a whole set of emotions you never thought Taehyung would make you feel. He was your feel-good person, one of your best friends and someone you trusted with your entire heart. It's something you don't even know as to how to react to.
"Y/N!"
You blink back to reality when someone shakes you by your shoulders. "Huh?"
"You zoned out again."
"Oh," you speak in a tone of realisation, "I'm sorry–"
"Nothing to apologise for. Just forget whoever that guy is. He's surely not treating you right if you have this conflicted look on your face all the time."
If only it were that easy. You wish it was that easy.
You chuckle at your next desk co-worker, Shanaya's, words. "I will surely contemplate on your words."
"Men don't deserve shit from us if they treat us like shit," she nods seriously. "And with the way, you have had this sad-confused look in your eyes for a whole week now, I strongly doubt that man is any good for you."
Oh yeah, it's been a week.
Although, you could have been fooled by how the admittance of his relationship remains the last text exchanged between the two of you. You just didn't know how to respond to him at that time. You were too busy absorbing the shock to think of a proper response.
You had just shut your net off and tried your hardest to fall asleep. But you just couldn't get a blink of sleep and since then you also couldn't bring yourself to pretend to be fine with him, when you were far from it.
Maybe you had posted your status a little too frequently to subtly let him know that you're online and well-active on your socials but are simply choosing to not talk to him. On the other side of the coin, is the fact that you feel disheartened that he hasn't made any effort to talk to you. It's the longest the both of you have gone without talking to each other.
A hand waves in front of your face gaining your attention as your co-worker looks at you knowingly.
"See! Not good for you."
You smile at her words and shake your head softly, amused by her straightforward and direct nature.
—-----------
"How are you?"
You roll your eyes before replying. "I'm fine, I'm fine."
"Hmm," your best friend hums. "On a scale of 1 to 10?"
"Idk man, 7?"
"That's an improvement," she speaks to herself. "Now tell me, have you blocked Taehyung, yet?"
"I won't do that," you reply softly with a tone of surety.
She sighs over the phone. "Babe, he's a dick. Why haven't you cut him off yet, is beyond me."
Your best friend is of the kind whom if you call crying, she'd ask you to first get rid of the person who's responsible for your tears and then she will allow you to tell her what went down for you to cry. If only she were in the same city as you, she'd have committed the crimes herself instead of having to beg you to do them.
She's protective of you, incredibly so.
When you had told her everything about Taehyung, she had muttered to herself something along the lines of how she knew he was gonna turn out to be a dickhead. You never queried her on that because in a way you knew what she meant.
On learning about the situation you and Taehyung were in and about his unwillingness to be in a relationship, she was very firm about making her point that Taehyung was only making excuses. She was adamant that a person who really loves you wouldn't come up with reasons as to why they shouldn't be together. At the time, you had acknowledged what she was trying to say but you added that sometimes people get scared and fear often turns out to be an emotion that is rather difficult to overcome.
With much reassurance from your side that Taehyung was a great guy, she had let go of the topic. However, to say that Taehyung has now earned the entirety of your best friend's hatred, would be an understatement. You'd have been really concerned about his safety had she been in the city.
"He–", you pause briefly, "–isn't a bad guy."
Your friend scoffs. "Right. He's the worst."
"He is nice," you say a little more firmly.
"Oh! Yes please, someone please give him a Nobel prize for his niceness!"
To your surprise the tone in which she speaks, makes you burst out laughing. "You really hate him, don't you?"
"Has he ever given me a reason to NOT despise him?"
You chuckle as your laughter dies off. "Well, I don't blame you. I'd hate the guy as well if I was in your place."
"Hah! So you agree on something with me."
"But," you emphasise on the word, "he's not a bad guy. I don't know how everything turned out to be this way but trust me he has a very tender heart."
"I cannot believe you're making excuses for him, Y/N."
Her surprisingly soft tone serves as a reminder that your best friend is probably one of the most compassionate and understanding people you've ever met. The only time you've seen her behave like an angry child who's ready to throw some punches, is when you get hurt.
And admittedly, you're the same way when it comes to her.
"I'm not making excuses for him, I know him. He'd never intentionally hurt someone."
"But he did hurt you!!!"
"I know and I doubt he realises it," you sigh. "But I need to know his side of things."
"I'm sure he will run if you try to confront him," she grumbles. "He'll probably not even reply if you tell him how much of a dick he's been."
"Heyyy," a childish whine escapes your lips. "I have more faith in him than that. He respects me enough to talk things out."
She makes a sound of complete disbelief, "You bet my ass he would just pull stuff out of his ass."
"We will see," you chuckle.
You had to make up your mind sooner or later and somehow the conversation with your best friend has reminded you of the faith you have in Taehyung. If you need answers, you're sure he'd give them. Most importantly, you don't plan on losing the friendship you have with him this easily. But you don't think you'd be able to just push everything aside and pretend that things are fine. You need to clear it out. You need for him to realise that he has hurt you and you need to know how things changed so quickly.
—————————————————————
You: hey
It took you another day to get the simple three-letter word out of your system. But you do it the very first thing in the morning after waking up. Whatever roller coaster ride of emotion it is going to take you on, you want it over by today.
Thankfully, it takes only ten minutes for your phone to ping to notify you of a message from Taehyung.
Tae 🐻: hello, birdie 👋
A snort escapes you when you imagine all the lovely cuss words that would leave your best friend's mouth if she were to learn of his response to your 'hey'.
You, too, find yourself being amused yet disappointed at how oblivious he seems to be.
You: I'm sorry for not responding to your texts any sooner
Chewing on your lower lip, you click on the send button. While this text is meant to serve as an apology, it also serves as a means for you to know whether he really is as clueless as he seems. You're curious if he's at least aware that something must have been wrong for you to not text for this long.
Tae 🐻: It's okay, don't worry. I understand!
Tae 🐻: work can get busy
Tae 🐻: it's fine!
Sighing, you realise it's fruitless. You need to be upfront as there's no other way for you to go about it.
You: uhmm thanks
You: but before we catch up and all that, can I just get a few things off my chest?
Tae 🐻: sure! Go ahead.
Suddenly you find yourself feeling anxious. You are not quite sure how this is going to turn out and how you're going to put your emotions into words. It sure appears to be a difficult job considering how muddled your brain feels every time you think about the events that have led to this.
You: i don't really know how to say what i want to say lol
You: this is so awkward
Tae 🐻: just say it
Tae 🐻: it's the same ol' me after all
Some of your anxiety softens at his words.
You: i know but i just dk how to say it 😂
Tae 🐻: that's okay
Tae 🐻: would it be more comfortable for you if I were to go offline? and I can check your messages when you give me the green signal to open your texts?
Now that he mentions it, you think that would be lovely. That way you could take your time figuring out how to word your sentences without having the rush of typing things out fast over the worry of him coming to assumptions before you say the full thing.
You: that'd be great!
You: thank you!
Tae 🐻: well then, I'll go offline. You speak your heart out 😌
You: open my texts only when you see a thumbs up or a message that directly asks you to open it. Okay?
Tae 🐻: done 👍
Sighing, you relax on your sofa and think. Now that he's offline, you need to figure out what to say. Rather, where to start because you just have so much to say.
It takes you another two or three minutes before you start typing.
You: so idk how this is gonna sound or how it's gonna get interpreted but I really need this out of my chest for it's been bothering me the last few days.
You: so ummm, you know we both had openly admitted to having feelings for each other and then you told me you weren't really ready for a relationship? And I agreed to things being the way they were because I never wanted to pressurise you. I always wanted to be a friend first, whom you can trust and feel safe with, more than anything else.
You: it's true that we never had a name for what we were. But it's because of that very reason that it always remained very confusing to me as to where we stood. Especially where you stood.
You: i always could have asked in the course of the year as to where we stood but i always let you be because i was cautious that asking you, would in a way, pressurise you.
You: however, that is not to say that i wasn't put in a dilemma when i would get propositions for going out on dates or when someone would ask me out.
You: i didn't know where your feelings for me lied. While I avoided any assumptions, i also didn't act as if you did not have feelings for me. Because what if you did and then my actions hurt you? I knew how much you have been hurt in the past and i just didn't want to add to that.
Your fingers pause as you take a look at what you have covered so far. When you go through your last two texts, you go awry at the thought of sounding like someone who's claiming to have done him some huge favour.
You: I'm not saying all this to say that i have done you a huge favour or something by the way. Or that you owe me something in return.
You: I'm just saying this because when you're so cautious and thoughtful over someone, it hurts to be on the receiving end of actions that make you feel incredibly stupid.
You: it would have been better if you had told me, you know? That "hey, there's this girl i like," and I'm not saying in a way that you had to take my permission or something but just that it would have been nice to know that you thought of me and of what kind of an effect it would have on me.
You: I just wish I didn't have to learn from a WhatsApp status
You pause before thinking if you have missed anything. When you go through your words, you realise that you indeed have missed something important.
You see, in the mix of all the heavy emotions, you also are happy. You're happy for him. That's something you realised the very day you learned about his relationship. It's odd but even in the midst of all the confusion you were feeling, a part of you felt glad.
You were glad that he found someone he loves and someone who makes him happy. You also found yourself excited on his behalf.
You won't lie, you were surprised that you weren't jealous. Before Taehyung, for a long time, you had hardly had any guy in your life except for fleeting crushes. Even then, you can acknowledge the fact that jealousy is a very natural emotion to feel in this scenario. However, when you realised that you were happy for him and that happiness did not originate from a place where you had to force it, you were also proud.
To you, there's no greater testimony of your love than that.
You: i don't think i have mentioned this before but I'm really happy and excited for you.
You: go ahead and open your texts ig 😂
There are questions in your mind that you think would have been better had you asked them. Questions as to how he was unwilling to be in a relationship when it came to you but suddenly found himself being in a relationship a year later?
However, you decide that's something you'd rather not ask.
When you think of it, you indeed find it unfair and there's perhaps that hint of anger that bubbles in your stomach. But you recognise that there's no purpose in asking that question.
It's possible that his feelings for her run deeper than they ever did for you. Or it could be the fact that they work together and it's human that you'd grow close to someone who's there with you physically rather than someone whom you only talk to over the phone or via texts.
But figuring out the why is none of your business. Neither is it something you're concerned with. Whatever the reason might be, he's in a relationship and he has already made a choice. The why is irrelevant now.
Another reason, the why is irrelevant to you is because, you have never found yourself thinking along the lines of what you could have done differently for him to stay and choose you. You have never wondered if it was something you lacked. You'd never let yourself think that way for anyone. Once upon a time, you did. You were filled with insecurities and would question yourself anytime someone would hurt you or leave you. But you have overcome that and have learnt to love yourself. You'd never undo all that progress by entertaining those thoughts ever again. Even if it's Taehyung.
Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen letting you know Taehyung is typing. His text soon arrives making your breath hitch.
Tae 🐻: I have read your texts. Give me some time, and I'll reply to them.
So you'll have to wait.
It's fair you think, he can take the time he needs, to figure out what he has to say.
You only hope you can get over this soon.
—--------------------------------------------------------
It's been an entire day since Taehyung said he'd reply to your texts but unfortunately, he hasn't yet.
You know he will reply, you have that faith in him but you only wish he'd do it sooner. There's that lingering anxiety that comes with being unable to predict what he's going to say.
You have also been wondering if you have worded your words correctly. You found yourself worrying what if you came across as jealous and as someone who's unhappy for him? You really hope you didn't sound bitter because you aren't.
Yes, there's a part of you that is sad because the moments that you thought were special for the both of you, were all in your head. Because you loved him.
There's also this feeling that now you have been replaced. That now, things won't ever be the same. Perhaps, a part of you wishes you could stay in your head a little longer and pretend.
But all of that aside, you also have immense amounts of trust in the friendship you both share. Taehyung is someone who is incredibly kind and loving, and he's a great friend in general and you're sure that both of you would somehow manage to keep your friendship intact.
Penny: Has he replied yet?
You look down at the screen to find a text from your best friend.
You: no
You: not yet
Penny: huh told you
Penny: he's a dick
You smile and shake your head.
Knowing you have a long day ahead, you cook yourself a plate full of breakfast and get ready for work. In a way, you're glad that there's work to keep you busy. You do not know what you'd have done had it been a Sunday. You'd probably have been restless as fuck and would have been checking your phone every five minutes.
Thanks to your workload, you only get time to check your phone during lunch. However, the workload doesn't help with the disappointment you feel, when each time that you do check your phone and find that there's no new message from Taehyung. The disappointment only increases when you realise he has put a status about some funny fact regarding hyenas.
Whatever he sends you as a response to your texts, it better be good to have you kept waiting this long.
—--------------------------------------------------------
It's nine in the evening and you're at home when you finally receive Taehyung's text. Your anxiousness is overpowered by curiosity and impatience as you click on his message. It's a wordy and lengthy one.
Tae 🐻: I was confused, Y/N. Very confused. Although I had confessed my feelings to you, I was extremely confused and scared to take a step forward. When things with Kira ended, I was lonely and sad and my thoughts were very self-destructive. I had zero self-confidence. Talking to you, spending time with you, and texting you gave me the greatest joy and it acted as an escape from those thoughts, feelings and difficulties I was facing at the time. However, if you ask me now, where my feelings originated from, I wouldn't be able to tell. Were they genuine or a result of my love-starved state, I wouldn't be able to tell. But I'm glad it did as it helped me move on from the grief that accompanied my breakup. You have no idea how much you helped me at the time and I was selfish enough to take all of it, without thinking of the consequences, one of which was falling for you. This conversation we are having now is one which we should have had long ago. But I was scared that me not taking the step forward and telling you all this, would make you lose interest in me. Instead, I kept you hanging. I thank you for always being such an amazing friend. I have always loved you but I was too scared to put the tag of a relationship. I mistook my infatuation as readiness for being in a relationship. I'm guilty of all the things you mentioned but I don't know what to do to make things right, as I really don't want to lose the friendship we have. With all that I have done, you'd obviously think that I don't care about you, or at least not as much as you do, but trust me, I do. I have just been shit at expressing my gratitude and telling you how much you mean to me. I'll do better. I just hope you have it in your heart to forgive me for my mistakes. Thank you.
Something that you have been really hoping for, finally happens. You cry.
Fat, angry droplets of tears roll down your face and you close your eyes shut as the searing pain spreads in your chest.
Everything just feels so final and also so fruitless.
Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen and you realise that Taehyjng must have noticed that you have read his message.
Tae 🐻: say something
Tae 🐻: this is making me anxious 😅
Despite your blurry vision and him being the cause of your pain, you feel the need to put him at ease.
You: i appreciate you being honest with me
You: I'll reply properly in a while
You: just let me have a good cry first
The petty part of you wants him to know that you're crying, you want him to know how hurt you are.
Tae 🐻: Y/N?
Tae 🐻: are you okay?
You don't reply, not having it in yourself to lie.
You let your tears flow as you cry silently.
It's too much for you. You feel used. You feel like a rebound. You feel like a bridge he walked on to reach his destination and to move on from his past. Your heart feels walked all over. Your love feels irrelevant.
It's true that you wanted to make him feel good. You wanted him to move on from the hurt caused by Kira. You wanted him to feel good about himself. All because you loved him. But you never thought your love was so disposable to him. That it would only be the means for him to move on to someone else.
What's worse is, despite all of that you understand. You understand that it wasn't a conscious choice of his to hurt you. He, himself, wasn't aware that he was using your love to heal himself.
It's worse because a part of you feels bitter and angry. If you were the one who helped him get over his hurt, shouldn't he show at least a bit of loyalty to you? You feel angry because he didn't communicate, he left you in the dark and just assumed that you must have been detached enough from your feelings for you to not be bothered by his new relationship. But then a part of you understands that as well.
With Taehyung, it's a tug of war where you want to be mad at him and feel betrayed by him but no matter what, your love for him makes you see things from his point of view.
In a way, you find it surprising as well because you never realised just how deep your love runs. Seeing their side of things despite the hurt they have caused? Isn't that love at its purest? However, that makes you ache in pain as well. You loved him as your own. Only to realise that his love for you was merely an infatuation.
His love for you was shallow.
You think it would have been better if he were an asshole whom you could just hate. It would have been easier for you because you'd know he wasn't worth your time. But how do you handle all of this when he's one of your closest friends?
That's a question you'd probably need time to answer. You need time to let the stinging pain in your chest subside. You need time to let yourself process the silent heartbreak you're going through.
With shaky hands and blurry vision, you block Taehyung.
—--------------------------------------------------------
Last Friday of every month, all your colleagues go out to have dinner and drinks together. You enjoy accompanying them because honestly, it is nice and fun, almost like a little treat to yourself. However, this week, you're not really sure you'd like that. You don't have the energy to socialise.
One might argue that with recent events in mind, the best thing to do would probably be just that, to socialise, as it would take your mind off things that have been bugging you. But then you have always been the type who needs energy to socialise rather than the kind who energises themselves from socialising.
You have almost completed packing your bag when someone taps on your shoulders.
"You're coming with us today, right?" Shanaya queries, having a suspicious glint in her eyes as if she's already aware of your plans of not joining.
Shaking your head softly, you confirm her suspicions. However, Shanaya is having none of that.
"You have to come," she insists, sounding determined. "It's my birthday treat."
You're thoroughly surprised at the information. "It's your birthday today? Oh my god, I'm so sorry–"
"It's not today, it's tomorrow," she cuts you off. "But tomorrow is off so it's an early birthday treat."
She looks at you with such pleading eyes that you cannot bring yourself to say no to her. Reluctantly you smile and the next thing you know, you're being wrapped in a warm hug.
"Yay, thank you," she squeals, excited. "Now common, let's go."
As it turns out, today's destination is one stop away. Usually, you all go to someplace that's near and doesn't require transportation. However, Shanaya wanted to take all of you to a particular place that, according to her, serves the best dumplings and noodles. Who can say no to Shanaya, anyway?
As you sit there and wait with the others for the bus to arrive, you look at the screen with Taehyung's conversation open.
It's only yesterday that you unblocked him. You were well aware that you'd be unblocking him and talking to him again at some point. The friendship was too precious for you to let go. And it's not something you're saying simply because you love him. If you were to look back, Taehyung has never been a bad friend to you. He's been there for you whenever you needed. He has never let you down when it comes to friendship.
However, you doubt you're ready to talk to him just yet. That doesn't mean you don't want to.
There's just so much that you have to tell him. The little things that have occurred over the course of the two weeks that you had him blocked. Everything feels a little incomplete unless shared with him.
Your fingers hover over his profile picture and you hesitate to click on it. He has uploaded a new profile picture and you wonder if it is too weird to just stare at it.
"Y/N?"
The sound of your name startles you and while trying to hide your phone screen, you accidentally end up clicking on the small call button right next to the profile picture.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
You cut the call immediately and stare at the screen which now shows his name at the top of your call logs. He's gonna see a missed call from you, shit.
"The bus is here, Y/N."
Oh right, that must be why Mike had called for you. You quickly gather your thoughts and get on the bus, shying away from the worried look Shanaya throws your way.
When you get a seat on the bus, the first thing you do is shoot him a text. You indeed are not ready to talk to him but your accidental call has ruined your plans.
You: I'm so sorry
You: i called you by mistake
You know it will probably be a while until he sees your call and your text and it's a good thing that you have your co-workers to accompany you. That way you'd be distracted enough to not fret about it unnecessarily.
All of you get down when your stop arrives and make your way inside the small restaurant.
The chatter and the giggles and the latest gossip about your boss is enough for you to temporarily ignore the sinking sadness that sits at the pit of your stomach.
"Y/N, drinks?"
Your colleagues are well familiar with the answer to this question. You don't prefer drinking. The reason behind that, however, is not known to them.
Like the majority of people, you enjoy getting drunk and letting it loose. However, you're the kind of drunk who gets giggly and finds every little thing amusing. And for some reason, you feel comfortable to let that part of you out, only in the presence of a few people. Four, to be exact.
One, your best friend. Two, Min Yoongi. Three, Lee Sana. And four, Kim Taehyung.
Needless to say, you hardly ever get the chance to get drunk.
The usual answer rests on the tip of your tongue, but there's also this desperation for you to let go of the heaviness. You really could do with some giggles and amusement.
"I'd probably have some whiskey," you reply with a shy unsure smile as your colleagues cheer.
The night somehow refuses to come to an end as you all soon find yourselves seated on the floor of Kate's apartment, in a circle. It starts off with some dancing and then Nitesh takes up the guitar and starts singing. He's a good singer, you can appreciate that and everyone's having fun with big smiles on their faces as they clap along with the beats.
You have had three shots so far and for the love of god, you still feel that melancholy. It heightens when you realise you're sad in such a fun environment. Despite wanting to join them in their fun, your mind keeps wondering what it would be like if Taehyung were here. Gosh, it's been so long since the both of you have hung out and truthfully, it has never bothered you before. Whatever communication you two had was more than enough for you. Sharing the little details about your day, sending him silly stickers, all that held more meaning to you than he probably ever realised. That was much more intimate to you than anything physical.
You shake your head to yourself when you realise you're here being sad over a guy who wasn't even your boyfriend. It's so ridiculous.
But then again, despite the lack of a label, you were loyal to him with your entirety.
Geez, the alcohol seemingly has made you more sensitive.
"You sure are having fun," Shanaya comments. "I'm assuming the alcohol didn't help much?"
It doesn't take rocket science for someone to figure out that if a person who's never said yes to drinks before suddenly willingly says yes to them, there must be some pain they are trying to numb.
"Surprisingly, no."
She hums. "Wanna talk about it?"
Shanaya has asked this question to you multiple times over the span of the last few days. Never has it made you feel as if it's coming from a place where she is prying for details. It has only made you feel as if she's letting you know she's all ears, whenever you need her. Each time, you have shrugged as if it's not a big deal, as if it's not important enough for you to talk about. However, now, you really could do with a shoulder to cry on.
Hence, you vent and even amid all the noise and music, she intently listens to your words without interrupting even once.
When you finish, she releases a heavy sigh. "That's what you meant when you said it was complicated."
You chuckle at the reminder of the response you had given to your then-new co-workers, to being asked about your love life. You were so cautious of hurting Taehyung, having no idea that it was going to be him, hurting you.
"Do you plan on being friends with him?"
You don't miss the edge her tone has, as if she believes it's not worth it. Either that, or she thinks it's not possible to be friends with someone who's hurt you like that.
"I do," your reply is instantaneous.
"Don't you feel angry?"
"I do," of course you are angry. It would be absurd if you were not.
"Are you sure that is a good idea?"
You're not. You know the dynamic between you and Taehyung would never be the same again. Things would be different. You have now realised that things which meant a lot to you, perhaps never held the same meaning to him. The dynamic is bound to change. But is that good enough of a reason to cut your friendship off?
"He's only a human. People fall in love and sometimes, they fall out of love. I do not control the way he feels and when it comes to love, I don't think any of us have a control over who we fall for or when we fall," you release a sigh. Maybe it's all the more difficult for you because you still love him despite everything. "He's not in the wrong for falling for someone just because it's not me. I wish he would have not kept me in the dark but we all make mistakes, we all mess up."
"But more importantly, he's a friend first and he's always been an incredible friend to me. Now, I wouldn't be a good friend if I were to ever entertain the idea of making him choose between me and his happiness, would I?"
She remains quiet for a moment, observing you closely. "Do you mean all that you said?"
You nod.
She chuckles. "Well then, you have one of the purest hearts I have ever come across."
—--------------------------------------------------------
You were aware that there were unread texts from Taehyung but had refused to open them until morning. The night was exhausting and more than anything, you wanted to sleep. However, when morning came rolling, there was no avoiding opening his messages.
Tae 🐻: why are you suddenly being so formal? 😂
Tae 🐻: it's completely fine.
Relief courses through your veins at his casual tone. You don't know how you'd have responded had he mentioned you blocking him seemingly out of nowhere. However, there's a small part of you that remains curious if he had even realised you blocked him. Nevertheless, you'd much rather put all of that behind you and move forward.
You: i was randomly scrolling through my phone and the next thing i knew, my phone was calling you
Tae 🐻: lmao
Tae 🐻: blame it on the phone, yes
You smile. Going back to being friends might not be that difficult.
You two chat a bit and catch up with each other about things the both of you have been up to recently. You lose track of time as you make yourself a cup of tea, refusing to let your phone down, feeling excited at the thought of telling him about the things you have been up to.
Tae 🐻: well i have something to tell you
You: uh oh
You: go on
Tae 🐻: so last day me and Bridget went on a date
Tae 🐻: and things got steamy 👉👈
Tae 🐻: if you know what i mean
You very well know what he means.
Your stomach sinks in disappointment.
It's not because you're jealous or that the thought of Taehyung with someone else makes you feel disheartened, you have moved past that. Rather, you feel disappointed that he thought it was something appropriate to mention to you.
Had it been anyone else in some other scenario, you'd have had no issue. Friends, close ones especially, tend to discuss these sorts of things, don't they? However, this is Taehyung and keeping the recent events in mind, he should not have mentioned it to you at all. Especially not when, his new relationship had made you feel as if he didn't bother to think of you, once.
He keeps on going about how it was one of the best nights of his life but you don't find it in yourself to play pretend and entertain him. Although you don't directly ask him to stop, you don't reply to his texts either.
Tae 🐻: Y/N?
The screen reads when he's done and probably upon the realisation that you haven't said anything for a long time.
You: nice
Oh, how you wish technology was advanced enough for the text to be read aloud on his phone in a sarcastic tone.
You: let me tell you about yesterday
You: we went back to Kate's place
You: and i got drunk simply because i was feeling low and sad and depressed and was looking for an escape
You: but that didn't help, only enhanced what i was already feeling
You could have probably avoided saying this but then you wanted to say it. You don't know if he'll put two and two together but it's your own way of telling him that things are still sensitive.
Tae 🐻: you sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken 😂
A loud laugh escapes your lips. Gosh, is this the guy you have been crying over for weeks?
Wow.
—--------------------------------------------------------
Taehyung has let you down, as a friend. More than once.
A few days back, he'd asked if he could send you a poem that he'd written. You had always known he liked writing stuff and hadn't thought much of it. However, upon asking what it was about, he had replied 'newfound love'. Your reply to which had been, 'In that case, I'm not interested'.
You didn't care how that sounded, you were not gonna put up with this bullshit just because it would be impolite.
With each passing day and with each small incident where you feel as if your feelings are totally disregarded, your disappointment keeps growing. You really had not expected this kind of behaviour from Taehyung.
One of the main reasons you had fallen for him was the way he seemed so emotionally wise. He was aware and attentive towards the people around him and was always kind. His recent attitude contradicts all of that.
There is a part of you that also recognises how his recent behaviour has made you detached. You could not say that the Taehyung you fell in love with and the Taehyung now, are the same. In a very twisted way, it made accepting the fact that there's nothing between the two of you, except friendship much easier.
Tae 🐻: Y/N
Tae 🐻: I messed up.
The text comes at around one in the morning. The only reason you're awake is the report that's due in two days. But the incoming text puts your fingers to a pause as worry clouds your senses.
Is he okay?
You: what happened?
Tae 🐻: i messed up
Tae 🐻: i feel so embarrassed
You: can you stop being vague?
Tae 🐻: i sent a vm to Bridget of me singing TS
You couldn't help rolling your eyes when you read the words. Huh, you should have seen it coming.
Unlike other times, for some odd reason, you find yourself leaning towards the idea of entertaining him. Perhaps it's because you haven't had a proper conversation with him for a long time. And also perhaps, because you know this won't go on for long.
You: so?
Tae 🐻: she is a huge TS fan
Tae 🐻: she asked me to sing one of her favourite songs
Tae 🐻: and i cannot ever bring myself to say no to her
Tae 🐻: but like now that i listen back to the audio i sound terrible and i maybe did a British accent while singing
Understandably, you can see where he's coming from. The nervousness that comes with making a gesture for someone you adore and then feeling embarrassed about it, worrying whether they found it romantic or did you make a fool of yourself. And less than one month of being in a relationship is not enough to quieten the nervous jitters.
So, you tell him what you would have, had it been any other friend. Upon further chatting you realise he genuinely feels like crawling inside a hole and never coming out. It doesn't surprise you, Taehyung has always been like that, going for the big gestures and self-doubt creeping in later.
You let yourself enjoy the normalcy and pretend that Taehyung is just another friend of yours and that he isn't someone who broke your heart.
—--------------------------------------------------------
Your phone has been buzzing and pinging since morning. Midnight to be specific. Birthday wishes have been flowing in with notes and gifs and with each message you feel more appreciated than you feel the rest three sixty-four days of the year.
However, with each notification sound, there has also been that hope and expectation that maybe this one would be from Taehyung.
He had texted you a few days back reminding you of your upcoming birthday and although it's afternoon already, you don't really believe that he has forgotten the day altogether.
When evening rolls around, you start growing sceptic. You squirm in your sofa, finally acknowledging that it's very well a possibility that your birthday might have slipped his mind. It makes you go back to the long, seven-hundred-word, letter he had written for your birthday, last year.
The words make you smile.
Do you know how amazing you are? I don't think you do and it will be my job to make you see that.
Sometimes, I think I don't deserve you with how kind and loving you are but I'm so incredibly grateful for you that no amount of words would ever be enough.
I have never met someone like you, ever.
Only a few lines from the massive paragraph that his greeting text was and the corner of your lips lift up. However, the moment is broken when you realise you're smiling.
You shake your head as sadness fills you. You cannot let yourself recall old memories and feel the way they used to make you. It's not an option anymore.
Locking your screen, you sigh. You won't lie, you had really wanted a text from him. Anything that would show you that he still cares for you and the friendship between the both of you still held a chance. It's no wonder that you have been seeking some sort of reassurance after everything that he has done.
It's around eleven at night that Taehyung's name first appears on your notification bar. You grin wide and open your text, glad to have been proven wrong and feeling stupid to have considered the idea of him forgetting your birthday.
A link to a YouTube video.
Your grin disappears just as quickly and disappointment like nothing you have ever felt before, makes its way to your heart.
You leave him on seen.
A day passes and you wonder if he will send at least a belated wish, apologising for not wishing you any sooner. But nope
It's the day after that, the second day past your birthday when you check for any messages from him and you are led to his stories. It's slides of pictures of him and Bridget and the caption is him singing praises of her and telling the world how much in love he is because it's her birthday.
That's your last straw.
It's probably a very small issue, forgetting birthdays and all. But to you, it's not. It just adds up to the pile of things that have made you feel like you were the only one who was taking into consideration the friendship that was at stake.
Plus, it cannot be that difficult to remember your birthday when his girlfriend's birthday is literally two days after yours.
You have had enough. You need to walk out of Taehyung's life.
Considering all that had made you fall for Taehyung, it's incredibly hard for you to believe that he doesn't know what he is doing and that he has forgotten basic decency. The option that was left with you, didn't make sense to you either because it implied he let you down intentionally. But the Taehyung you knew would never hurt a fly.
It made you wonder if it was simply a result of his honeymoon phase that he had forgotten to consider how his actions could hurt people. Maybe he was too elated to think things through. The empathetic part of you understood. But then you shook that away, knowing very well that if you were in his position, irrespective of how happy and high you were, you would never do that.
Maybe you had realised that this was coming from the very day, he hadn't thought twice before mentioning his intimate moments with Bridget. But, boy oh boy, had you hoped to be wrong.
You had given him opportunities to prove you wrong, to give you a reason to stay but he only kept giving you reasons as to why you should leave.
It's an odd sensation that washes over you when you come to the conclusion that this isn't worth it anymore.
You feel sad that the friendship is coming to an end. You're sure you'd miss his company and that there would be days when you mourn the friendship that once used to be. You know there would be times when you'd resent him and there would also be times when you'd feel angry at yourself for giving so much of you to him.
But you won't ever regret your choice of leaving him.
One thing this whole ordeal with Taehyung has made you realise is how deeply you love. How even in the midst of hurt, you were happy for him and how you saw and loved him for what he was and not for what he could be or for what he offered you. It made you take pride in the way you love. You gave him the purest form of love.
A life where you and Taehyung are not friends, won't be your loss. It would be his. Irrespective of whether he realises that or not.
You feel oddly poweful with the knowledge that there was nothing lacking in your love and you'd never dishonour your love by staying where it isn't valued, appreciated and seen.
But you also have a lot to say to him. You are not going to just block him and let him wonder why you did that. No, you'd tell him exactly why you left.
—--------------------------------------------------------
It took you a couple of days to get down everything you wanted to say. There were times when you felt conscious of the ever-growing length of your letter and you had to shake off that feeling because this was going to be the last interaction between the both of you. Why stop yourself from saying everything you want to just because you're worried it'll be lengthy?
You read the words one last time, wanting to make sure that you feel satisfied.
Hello Taehyung,
I hope you're doing fine. I wouldn't know how you're doing because we haven't had a proper conversation in quite some time. Or at least that is how it has felt to me. Nevertheless, I'm writing this because there's loads that I need to get off my chest. So, here we go.
When I saw you for the first time and we talked, I could feel you carried a lot of pressure on your shoulders. Almost like, you had something to prove, like you wanted to show that you weren't what you were perceived to be. Or maybe you wanted to prove that you were more than just what meets the eye. I didn't know what in particular. It felt like you wanted to be seen.
And would you believe, I grew a soft spot for you? Do you know why? Because somewhere, I felt the same way too.
I also knew we would be great friends, lol. You know how? Because I knew you had a heart of gold. You cared for others, you were thoughtful and kind. However, I could feel that you have a habit of being harsh on yourself and it didn't sit well with me. From the very first time we talked, I wanted to be a good friend to you, someone you could rely on, someone you could trust and someone who could possibly make you be a little less harsh on yourself.
Perhaps with the weak spot, I also grew protective of you.
You were desperate for love and at the same time felt unworthy of it. I didn't know why though. I didn't know what had you believing so lowly about yourself. But then you told me about Kira, and it all made sense.
It made sense why you felt unworthy and why you felt the need to prove that you were more than what others saw. Because, you believed Kira's words. You really thought you were unlovable.
Instead of feeling the satisfaction of being proved right, I felt so angry at Kira. I may have clawed her eyes out in my mind more than once.
After learning the scars that she left on you, it only made me wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wished you could see that there was nothing you had to do to be loved except for just being you.
You may wonder why I'm suddenly saying all this. Well, let's just say it's necessary.
When you told me you were falling for me, I was surprised but then I felt myself feeling so warm at the thought of you liking me. It took me a few minutes to realise that I was falling for you too.
But that was it.
We never put a label on what we were and I was okay with it. Because I was okay with what we had, I never asked for anything because you were happy. You were also such a great friend, someone who I could talk to anything and everything about. What more could I ask for?
What's more? I could tell you were slowly coming out of whatever shell you were put in by Kira. I can't quite explain how it made me feel to see you smile more freely, to see you be more confident and be sure of yourself. But to put it lightly, it made me feel damn good lol.
I knew I had some part to play in it. I just didn't know that was the only part you wanted me to play.
I moved past all that, trust me. You using my love as a rebound, making a girlfriend without even letting me know once, I moved past all that. Because, I trusted you when you told me you were confused and confusion is never intentional, is it?
It hurt like a bitch to think that was all my love meant to you. But it was okay, you didn't mean to hurt me. You cared about me. You cared about our friendship. You valued it.
Or so you said.
I don't know if you meant it when you said it. But in case you did mean it, here are a few things not to do to the girl you used as a rebound and intend to keep the friendship with.
First, do not mention that you had sex with your new girlfriend.
Second, do not be dumb enough to say "You sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken" when you are the guy who's caused the damage.
Third, do not send her the song you sang for your girlfriend and seek comfort to soothe the embarrassment you feel.
Fourth, do not ask her to read the poems you wrote for your girlfriend.
Fifth, do not forget her birthday when your girlfriend's is just two days later.
These things didn't hurt me as much as it disappointed me. Would you believe, I laughed when you called me a typical heartbroken guy? When I got drunk the day before, my head was filled with thoughts of you and my heart was heavy with the knowledge that I was only a rebound. That day, even in the midst of alcohol, I chose our friendship over everything. I chose to forgive you. I chose to love you, still. But when you mentioned what you did, I just found it so funny to think that this was the guy I was thinking so much about and was so sad about.
As it turns out, I'm not much fond of thoughtless people.
But still, I hoped that somehow you'd give me a reason to stay. All you did, however, was turn a blind eye to my feelings and disrespected me.
If you were to ask me, whether my love for you is romantic or platonic, I wouldn't be able to tell. I have never sat and thought about it. All I know is I loved you, in one of the most unselfish ways possible.
But that's not to say I don't realise how I deserve to be treated. And that's not to say that I'd stay somewhere where I'm an afterthought.
When I said, I was happy for you and Bridget I really meant it and I hope you don't think that your relationship ever had a role to play in this decision of mine. It didn't, it was solely you that made me choose this option.
But this friendship of ours has run its course.
I would never disrespect myself by putting up with your disrespect. I loved you as long as you were worth it. But the moment you took my love for granted was the very moment you lost my respect and love, both.
If you have made it to the end, then congrats! I didn't know if you'd read the whole thing but truth be told I don't particularly care about you reading it either. I wrote this for myself, not for you.
Before I finish this long-ass letter, let me tell you something; you have lost one of the best people you'd ever meet in this lifetime.
Thank you,
With Love,
The purest form.
Jeon Jungkook
His words echo in your mind and after an elongated pause, you find it in yourself to respond. “What do you mean?”
Jungkook gulps, hating how controlled your facial expressions are. In the months of knowing you, he has never seen you try this hard to hide your emotions. “Me and Niki are not actually a couple.”
“Thank you for rephrasing the sentence but I am afraid that it does not make things any clearer for me.”
Jungkook takes a sharp inhale and meets your eyes with uncertainty. “It’s just a PR stunt.”
It takes a few moments for the words to register but when they do, things start making sense, almost like puzzle pieces falling in place.
Namjoon’s hesitance in answering your question about the truth of their relationship. His lack of shock to the words you had heard Niki speak and most importantly, why Niki might have said those words. The whole relationship is not real to begin with.
“But, why?” The words leave your lips without your permission, before you’re able to catch them.
For a moment, he hesitates, wondering if it’s his place to say a few of the things he will have to, to make things clear. But then he shakes off the worry, knowing Niki won’t mind.
“Both of our fandom, for some reason, ship us together. You know the whole ‘both are maknaes’ thing. Nevertheless, both of our companies thought it would be mutually beneficial for the two of us to put up this false act that we are dating.”
“How is it supposed to be mutually beneficial?” It doesn’t make sense to you. One of the oddest and most toxic traits of the kpop industry is how idols are expected to be loyal to their fans by remaining single. How then, a public relationship is supposed to garner anything except for unnecessary attention and hate?
“Niki is well, dating a youtuber. A female youtuber and pictures of them hanging out together didn’t take long to make it to the internet. Although at the beginning, everyone thought they were just good friends, soon there were questions as to whether it was just a simple friendship and well, people were not really happy with that idea,” he sighs, feeling tired just from thinking about everything that had led to this whole ordeal. “It wasn’t only about Niki dating a girl, it was also about her dating someone that wasn’t me. And of course, it was her girlfriend’s fault for coming between two people who are 'meant to be'. All of which ultimately made it incredibly difficult for the two of them to be at peace.”
You can imagine. The thought makes you sympathise with both of them. From Jungkook's words, it's clear the target was Niki’s girlfriend but you are sure it couldn’t have been easy for Niki to watch someone she loves hurt like that.
You understand Niki’s part of the deal. Putting up this font, would stop the threats and hate aimed at them but what was Jungkook supposed to get from this?
Jungkook looks at you and nods, acknowledging the unasked question. "When the offer first came, our company had turned it down, not seeing how it could benefit me. But I was the one who insisted and agreed."
"Why?"
His discomfort grows and he swallows nervously, trying to gather his thoughts. "People are obsessed with me and Niki to the point where it's very predictable that they would hate it if someday I were to date someone who isn't her. I thought it would be good if we did this thing and people believed that we gave it a shot but it didn't work out. That way it would be one less thing I'd have to worry about while dating someone."
You put the thought behind of how it seems incredibly far-fetched and nod. He has answered your question about the nature of their relationship and why it was necessary. However, you still have a bunch of questions about a lot of things–starting with how crushed you felt when he moved you as Namjoon's make-up artist out of nowhere–but you do not wish to let them see the light of the day.
Turning away, you start shuffling with some of the make-up products, indicating that the conversation is done.
"Please say something," Jungkook pleads, tormented by your silence.
"There's nothing more to say," you mutter, keeping away any emotion from being shown.
"That can't be true."
You hate how sure he sounds. As if he is aware of every thought that's running in your head. As if he knows you a little too well. You absolutely despise how you might have believed the notion, once. Now, however, you do not want to. Because that'd mean he knew exactly how much hurt, his ignorance and pretence as if you don't even exist, caused you.
"Y/N, please. We haven't talked for a long time. Please don't shut me out."
Technically, you have two options. One, to keep ignoring him. Two, to snap at him and let every bit of your anger out. You had initially planned on sticking to option number one as it would make you look just as indifferent as Jungkook. However, now you find the option of letting words out without a filter, very appealing.
"I know, I messed up but just talk to me–" the sound of a shaky exhale meets your ears, "–I miss spending time with you."
Well, that's some audacity.
In the blink of an eye, you're facing Jungkook and taking several steps in his direction. You stop only a few steps away from him but you're close enough for him to notice the agony and pure rage storming through your eyes.
"You better shut your mouth, Jeon."
Jungkook flinches at your warning tone. However, he refuses to take the hint. "Y/N, ignoring me isn't going to solve–"
"Trust me, I'm not trying to solve anything," you speak through gritted teeth. "I'm just doing what I think is the right thing to do after someone disrespects you immensely."
"I wasn't trying to disrespect you," he claims, desperately trying to make you believe in something you don't buy for even a second.
"Yeah, ghosting me out of nowhere is not disrespecting me at all," your voice drops with sarcasm
He feels his heart drop when you use the word 'ghosting'. Did you think that's what he did? Is that what it looked like? Gosh, this has all gotten messed up and he's the one to be blamed.
"I didn't ghost you," he mumbles, unable to look into your eyes and the sight of it causes all the pain that you had buried, to come to the surface.
"Then please explain what it was," you voice waivers and you immediately hate yourself for showing weakness. "Please tell me what you thought you were doing by replacing me without even showing the basic decency to inform me that, yourself?"
He gulps, wondering if you'd even believe what he has to say. Even if you do, would you be willing to look past his stupidity?
"I found your note in my bag", you visibly flinch at the mention of the note. You had intentionally kept from mentioning your little confession, praying to whatever god is out there that somehow the note had been damaged before it reached the hands of the person they were meant to find.
Jungkook notices your change of expression as it turns from hurt to embarrassed to anger and he despises himself for making you feel like that. "I had to make a quick decision and I didn't think you'd like to be my make up artist while I was fake dating Niki, especially without you having any knowledge about the fake part."
You stare at him blankly and try to process what he was saying. Did he–did he think he was doing you a favour by cutting you off?
You scoff, turn around and start packing your things with the intention of leaving the room. You're so done with this conversation.
When Jungkook understands your intention, he's quick on his feet and rushes to be right next to you. "Just give me the chance to explain myself fully."
You don't reply, your insides fuming.
"Y/N please," he begs. "Just hear me out once. Then I'll accept whatever it is that you decide for the both of us."
"I'm not gonna stand here and hear you speak utter bullshit that does nothing but let me down further."
Your voice comes with such a sense of finality that Jungkook knows, no matter how much he begs and pleads, you won't be giving him the opportunity to speak his side of things.
Hence, he doesn't stop you when you walk past him and leave the room. But it only makes him more desperate for the day when you finally find it in your heart to give him a chance. Just one.
—-----------------------------------------------------
Jungkook has been persistent. Perhaps a little too persistent with his attempts to earn your forgiveness. Or at least that's what you assume the bouquets of flowers and little notes you find everyday at work are for.
It's not only the flowers, it's also his constant texting and voicemails. His texts vary from a simple 'hi, what are you doing' to 'please, i miss you' and his voicemails have been a mix of him telling you about his day (something he used to do regularly when you were his makeup artist) to a more emotional version of his texts begging you to talk to him.
You won't lie, his incessant pleadings have made you curious what more could he possibly have to say. What could be so different from what he has already said that he is so desperate?
On one hand, you find an odd sense of satisfaction from not responding to Jungkook despite all his efforts. You don't know what that makes you but after the hurt and embarrassment you felt to the point where you had to numb yourself to block those emotions out, his tries and attempts feel like an ointment to your wounds. On the other hand, however, is a voice nagging you as to how, this cannot go on for long. The huge bouquets that wait for you everyday are soon going to catch attention and if anyone were to catch a hint of who it is from…gosh, you don't want to imagine that.
But when you will find it in yourself to have a conversation with him, still remains unknown. All you know is whenever that will be, it will be solely because you don't want word to go out. Yes, that's all it will be.
Today when you walk into Namjoon's dressing room, there's another bouquet waiting for you. The sight of it causes you to sigh. You don't know what Namjoon thinks of this but you're thankful that he hasn't mentioned it yet. That however, made it quite clear that he has some idea as to who they are from.
You let the flowers be where they are. You have never really taken them home or put them in water, afraid that it would be interpreted as you being accepting of his efforts, when you're far from it. You're still hurt and angry.
If anything, sometimes you despise walking into a room full of flowers as they serve as a reminder of the thoughts you had before confessing to him. You remember thinking how confessing felt like putting a delicate unbloomed flower in someone's hand and whether the bud gets to bloom or not, depends on the person you're confessing to.
If only you had known of the thorns you would be exposed to, back then, you'd never have confessed.
The door swings open softly and Namjoon walks in. "Good morning, Y/N."
"Good morning," you greet him back with a smile.
"So what's on card for today?" He asks before taking his usual seat.
"There's nothing much for today, just rehearsals and then you have a v-live," you mumble. "But firstly I need to do your weekly facial."
He huffs. "Is it the one that requires you putting a lot of slimy stuff on my face and it stays on for like thirty minutes?"
"Yep," you reply with a light laugh. Despite what he says, you have learnt that Namjoon quite enjoys his facial sessions. Unlike a certain someone.
Your smile falters and your sudden change of mood doesn't go unnoticed by Namjoon.
"Have you considered speaking to Jungkook?" He asks after a brief moment of silence.
You're taken aback by his words. Namjoon has always avoided speaking on the matter. He has never even queried as to what you do with the flowers. Hence, his direct way of questioning has you fumbling with words.
"I d–haven't," you change your wording, fearing 'I don't want to', might just be a little too rude.
However, your choice of answer is put to vain with the very next question he asks. "Do you want to?"
"I don't want to," you softly shake your head, mildly afraid how Namjoon will interpret it.
He simply nods, without any trace of judgement. "I'm not saying this because I'm picking sides, but I have known Jungkook since he was a kid and I can tell that he really is sorry.
"Whether to forgive him or not, is completely on you. But put a little trust on him that he must have some reason behind doing what he did. Just hear him out once."
You keep quiet, unsure what to say. Thankfully, Namjoon understands that and soon changes the topic of conversation to something more light-hearted.
Hours later, when everything comes to a close and it's time for you to leave, you find yourself hesitating. Namjoon's words simply refuse to leave your mind. Put a little trust in him. How can you, when he's let you down in every way possible? When he has betrayed your trust in ways that still keep hurting you?
You gulp when you realise there's probably no end to the hurting until you have a chat with Jungkook and hear his side. At least, that way you will know his reasoning behind everything and it will hopefully stop your self loathing for putting the note in his bag. Even if all he gives is excuses, you'd at least have the satisfaction of having heard him out. Later maybe a week, or a month from now, when your emotions subside, you wouldn't have this unscratched itch of not knowing what he had to say.
Maybe, maybe it's for the best that you talk to him.
—-----------------------------------------------------
"Come in," Jungkook calls out in response to the knock at his door and is visibly surprised when you walk in. He quickly gets up from his seat, stuffs his phone in his pocket and with a nervous voice asks, "would you like some coffee?"
You shake your head. You're not here for coffee. "No, thank you. I'm here to talk to you."
He nods as his nervousness spikes. This is what he has wanted and hoped for so long, but now that you're here, he doubts you will believe him. What if you don't? Even worse, what if you do and still don't forgive him?
The both of you get seated and your fingers anxiously play with the strap of your handbag. "What is it that you have been wanting to tell me?"
Jungkook sighs. Pushing the nervousness away, he knows that the only thing in his power is to tell you his side of things. Otherwise, he's powerless.
"For the things I said last day, to make sense, I would have to mention that I like you," he cannot find it in himself to look at you as he says that. "I've liked you for a long time."
The words take you by surprise, and your mouth parts in shock. The shock then morphs into disbelief and denial. He did not just confess to liking you.
"But it's never that simple when you're a famous K-pop idol," something bitter coats his words and he looks defeated. "The consequences of dating me, is something that one doesn't realise until they face it for themselves."
Jungkook has grown a thick skin. But you? He doesn't want you to be someone who ever has to go through things that require you to build a thick skin. He doubts he will ever forgive himself if he were to see you beaten up by harsh words and constant criticism, all because of your association to him.
"I wanted to tell you how I felt but just the sheer terror of what you may have to go through, kept me from doing so," an unwanted shiver runs through his body when he recalls the moments where the fluttering in his chest would always be accompanied by a heavy sinking in his stomach. "It wasn't my choice to stress about these things but I couldn't help myself considering that associating with me had consequences."
Your face falls with each word that leaves his lips.
"It was choosing between giving into my feelings and listening to logic. I tried to be logical and practical for as long as I could. Until, I just couldn't," a humourless chuckle escapes his lips. "I remember thinking that I just need to tell you how you make me feel."
He doesn't voice how there was a part of him that had wished you'd not reciprocate his feelings. That way, even after his sheer selfishness, things would be fine.
"It was around the time I decided on confessing to you, that I learnt about the proposition from Niki's agency. Call me incredibly stupid but I thought if I did this, I'd at least do something instead of sitting and dreading with my hands tied." Jungkook shakes his head, finding it cruel that even after all this, he somehow managed to mess everything up.
Your mouth parts unknowingly when the pieces click. Jungkook's decision to date Niki for the cameras, didn't come out of nowhere and it wasn't as far-fetched as you thought. His decision had come from a place of anxiety where he felt powerless.
"But then I found that note," he cannot help but recall that day fondly. He felt like a kid and often found himself smiling, looking into the mirror. However, that joy was soon wiped off when the situation sank in. "I was so excited and happy, but then I realised that I had already agreed to date Niki."
You hardly blink as Jungkook speaks and due to that, you don't miss the way a smile appears on his lips. But it's gone as soon as it appears, as if he catches himself slipping and reprimands himself for it. It makes you consider the possibility if he was receptive to your confession in a positive way.
"I didn't know what to do, I couldn't imagine letting you know that I felt the same but then going out and holding another woman's hand. Even if it's for the cameras, it's–," he closes his eyes shut as if pained, "–it's horrible."
"I couldn't do that but I also needed to make a quick decision. I thought the only way to go about things was to postpone answering your confession. After the announcement of the breakup with Niki, I thought I could talk to you then and clear things out. At that moment, that was the only option that made sense to me."
His words take you back to the day when you were filled with nervous excitement only for it to be replaced with dread and heartbreak when you learnt that Jungkook had replaced you as his makeup artist, just like that.
"It was stupid, I know," he mutters in a small voice. "I don't have anything to say in my defence except for admitting that I messed things up and I didn't realise what it must have looked like to you, until it was too late."
He paused for a few moments, looking exhausted. "I-I am sorry for everything. I know it's hard to believe but hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. I really just wanted to make things right. If you can, please, forgive me."
You sense that to be the end of everything Jungkook had to say. The way he looks at the floor and refuses to look at you, makes you want to comfort him. But your feelings are too muddled, you're too confused and there's a lot that you have learnt that has left you surprised. You don't think you're in the state of mind to make decisions now.
"Thank you for telling me everything," you keep your voice soft. It gives Jungkook the courage to finally look up at you and his breath hitches when he realises you aren't looking at him with your gaze filled with hate and pain. It gives him hope. "But I need some time to process everything."
Jungkook nods, knowing that's the best he can ask for at the moment. He's relieved that you aren't dismissing his words and feels incredibly grateful that you are taking time to think things through. He knows that you taking time is more for yourself than for him, but there's a hint of a promise that this is not the end of the conversation, that you'll talk to him again. And that's more than anything Jungkook can ever ask for.
—-----------------------------------------------------
The last few days, your mind has been completely occupied with Jungkook's words. Not only his words but also the way he looked refuses to leave your mind. You couldn't find it in yourself to doubt his genuineness and the fact that he was feeling terrible, was displayed in green neon lights.
You had to remind yourself repeatedly that it isn't only about how he feels. You should cater to your feelings and figure out what to do next.
There was also the new revelation that Jungkook liked you. Quite honestly, you didn't know what to do with that information. The whole conversation was melancholic and it must have rubbed off on you for you didn't feel the joy one usually does on learning that their crush likes them back.
Everything was quite confusing. So much so, that it had taken an entirety of five days for you to sort out your thoughts and approach Jungkook.
He sits across from you in a pale blue shirt and black trousers, his body language screams that he's nervous and oddly enough it comforts you to know that you aren't the only one feeling that way.
"After learning everything, I couldn't help but wish you had communicated before. It would have saved the both of us a lot of hurt," you begin with a sombre tone, feeling your heart hurt at the constant overthinking you have had to go through. "Things might have been simpler that way."
"I know," Jungkook nods, not having a single word to defend himself with.
You look at him a moment longer wondering if he would try providing you with a reason for his lack of communication. When he doesn't, you're confused how you're supposed to perceive it.
On one hand, you'd have liked for him to actually have a proper reason. On the other, you're sure Jungkook is aware of his mistakes and his lack of response somehow gives the impression that he's owning up to everything without making excuses.
"But what's done is done and there's no changing it," you continue after a small sigh. "It's for the best that we move on from it."
Jungkook's heart shrinks. By moving on do you mean just never acknowledging the feelings you both share for each other? That's exactly what comes to his mind because you feeling the same way you did, despite the hurt he has caused you, sounds too good to be true. He cannot be shameless either to ask you about it directly. He will take whatever you will give him.
Instead, he asks a question which he knows would eat him alive if he doesn't voice it. "Can you forgive me?"
"I wouldn't have asked for the both of us to move on, if I hadn't already," and then you do something that makes Jungkook feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off from his chest. You smile at him.
Forgiving Jungkook wasn't easy. You wanted to hold on to the anger because your pride was hurt and most importantly, you were scared of getting hurt again. But then you also had to think through things logically.
Jungkook has never had it easy with fame. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the way he has always been under scrutiny and his sudden loss of control over his own life. With time, he learnt that it was for the best to not pay attention to the people who weren't even familiar with him.
He could overlook and turn deaf to the hate that's thrown his way. However, his loved ones being targeted is something that fills him with guilt to an inexplicable amount. You have seen it yourself.
The incident isn't that old. A year back, Jungkook had gone out with a bunch of his childhood friends. He was pictured closing the car door for one of them, who so happened to be a girl. That one single shot was enough for the media and internet to decide there must be something more than platonic going between the two.
You remember the way Jungkook was so troubled and absolutely heartbroken with the hate and threats that were aimed at his friend, for something so simple and it was visible to everyone that he blamed himself for it.
You cannot imagine what kind of stones would be thrown at you if word got out. The information that you're his makeup artist would be a cherry on top. Gold digger, witch, slut, whore; some of the less colourful terms.
Seeing the way Jungkook suffered, it made sense why he would be so scared to be open about his feelings. You could imagine yourself feeling the same way had it been you being in his place. Seeing someone you care for, getting hate that they absolutely don't deserve, is painful enough for one to believe that it's for the best to keep distance.
You also imagined what you would have felt had Jungkook admitted his feelings and had told you about the fake dating. Yes, you'd have the knowledge that there was nothing real between him and Niki. However, you'd also have to see them all over the internet and watch people go on and on about how perfect they are. You'd be aware that Jungkook likes you, but you'd also be bitter about how the beginning of your relationship is marked with him publicly dating someone else. It's not exactly a nice feeling.
One could argue that the way events have turned out, they aren't perfect either. But there's nothing going on between Jungkook and you. At least, not yet.
That's one thing that you both need to talk about and you really want to clear out everything, at once. Who knows what miscommunication would occur if things were left unsaid, again?
"I would never intentionally hurt you, Y/N,"Jungkook squirms a little in his seat, ignoring the absence of the weight that has been eating him alive for days. He thinks you're going easy on him and he thinks he doesn't deserve it.
"I am choosing to trust your words," you reply, having a sense of the turmoil Jungkook seems to be going through. The fact that he is always hard on himself is not unknown to you. "All I ask from you is to not break my trust. And for you to accept that you do not have to burden yourself with responsibilities."
Jungkook knows it's hard for him to not feel like there's always a bunch of responsibilities on his shoulder. Especially when one moment of misjudgement can cause irreversible damage. Despite that, he feels a sense of warmth spread throughout his body at your words.
"I'll try."
You shoot Jungkook another smile; the second one this evening and he can't help but think that you should really stop giving him hope.
"There's one more thing that we need to talk about," your cheeks turn red and much like Jungkook earlier, it's your turn to squirm in your seat. "You said something about liking me."
You feel awkward at the choice of your words but then you aren't brave enough to start by mentioning your note of confession.
Jungkook's eyes turn as wide as saucers and his whole face flushes to match the shade of your cheeks. He really wasn't expecting for you to bring it up. "Umm yeah," he nods.
You feel a spark of impatience and annoyance at his short response. You took it upon yourself to bring the topic to the table and he cannot just spill everything, already? Why make it more difficult for you?
"Yeah…..so?" You look at him with your brows raised, trying your best to ignore the way you feel like a three year old shy girl, on the inside.
"I–I do like you," he stutters and looks away, for the umpteenth time, unable to meet your eyes.
Your heart takes a fucking long jump. Who would have thought Jeon Jungkook would be so shy about admitting his feelings?
"What should we do about it?" You intentionally use the 'we' for Jungkook to catch the hint that you want to do something about it.
But of course, he doesn't.
He speaks sullenly, "I have lost the right to have a say in the matter."
"I want you to have a say in the matter. Tell me, Jungkook, what do you want?" You refuse to let go of the conversation and for Jungkook to let his guilt swallow him. He messed up, there's no denying that. But you could always acknowledge the fact that his heart was in the right place.
Feelings of frustration makes his throat clogged up . "I just want to go back and redo things in a different way."
"That's not possible. What do you want to do now?"
He knows what he wants but voicing it, feels being ungrateful towards your forgiveness. It feels like he's being greedy. "What I do want, feels like too much to ask for."
"You'll never know until you ask for it."
He sighs and reminds himself that you're asking him about the romantic feelings he has admitted to harbouring towards you. He reminds himself to not be selfish and make it about his guilt. If you want to know, he will tell you and he will be honest about it.
"I want to be with you," his admission is made in a small voice but it doesn't hide the clarity his words have.
Your breath hitches and you feel the soft pitter patter of your heart that you had missed when he admitted his feelings for you the first time around.
"When does this fake relationship of yours end?"
"A month from now."
You nod. "A month from now, take me out on a date and we will see."
Jungkook's eyes snap to yours, not having expected you to speak those words. You shoot him a small smile before getting up and leaving the room.
—-----------------------------------------------------
SIX MONTHS LATER
"I swear to god, if you don't stay still, I'll intentionally ruin your makeup."
Your threatening low tone goes in through one ear and comes out of the other. "You could never do that."
"Don't test my limits."
A pout makes its appearance. "But that's my favourite thing to do."
You sigh in both astonishment and in love.
How do you manage to repeat the same routine with the same man everyday and never get tired of it? Maybe it has everything to do with the way your heart keeps stuttering around this man.
No, the man sitting in front of you, is not the global superstar Jeon Jungkook.
The man sitting in front of you is your boyfriend, Jungkook.
The official tag on your relationship was put four months ago, after a month of going out on dates. When you say going out, you mean staying in the hybe building and arranging dates in as innovative a way as one can.
The month in which Jungkook had to pretend to be Nikki's boyfriend only proved to you why it would have been difficult for you had you and Jungkook actually been a thing at the time. It was already painful and as petty and irrational as it may sound, it also made you jealous when you would see articles of the two of them. You're not quite sure how humilated you would have felt if you two were to be dating at the time and to see people comment on how they are a match made in heaven.
That one month, for Jungkook, was a mix of everything. The beginning of the month came with constant doubts and shame where he wondered what he should do when the month is up. He wanted you but he didn't really think he deserved you. But then he had to make up his mind; he made a mistake and he always acknowledged that but it would be so incredibly foolish if he were to let that stop him from being with you. After a week or so, he had made up his mind. He messed up, but boy if he wasn't going to make up for it.
That whole month was spent with him brainstorming ideas on how he can show his sincerity and be a better man. Somewhere along the line, he had opened up to Niki about it and there's just a hundred percent chance that if he's smiling wide in one of those paparazzi pictures, he's talking about you.
Jungkook has been nothing but the best boyfriend you could have ever asked for. Any hurt or doubt was washed away soon after the both of you started going out. Being with Jungkook was so much more than you could have ever imagined.
A month after being together, you were back as Jungkook's make-up artist. It was the best way to go about it as it would keep the both of you away from suspicious eyes and give the both of you ample amount of time to spend with each other.
You both are aware that at some point, you'd have to inform the agency of the nature of your relationship as that'd be better than them finding it out from other sources. You're not quite sure what would be left of your job, but Jungkook seems quite sure that you won't be fired and that the members together, would somehow manage the higher authorities to make their rules more flexible.
Jungkook isn't worried about the consequences with hybe, but he still finds himself stressing about the day the news becomes public. That is where you reassure him, that whatever happens, you both will get through it, together. You also remind him to not fret about it too much, because there's a long way to go before things are made public. For the time being, it's just the two of you.
"No wait, that's actually my second favourite thing," Jungkook corrects himself. "My top favourite might just be kissing you."
You fight the blush trying to make an appearance and ask, "might?"
"The last time you kissed me was ten minutes ago. Forgive me for forgetting what it was like to be kissed by you."
As cute and adorable as Jeon Jungkook might be in front of the cameras, you have recently learned that he's just as sly and playful when he wants to be.
"Will you stay still if I kiss you?"
"Kiss me first and then you shall have your answer."
So you do.
Your soft lips are welcomed eagerly by his and they move against each other, tenderly without a hint of rush. Your breaths mingle and soft sighs escape as your hands get tangled in his hair.
When you part, there's only a hair's gap between the two of you, "So what's the verdict?"
Jungkook's doe eyes appear dazed as he looks at you. "Well my brain has turned into a mush, so you can totally expect me to stay still."
You giggle and the sound of it warms Jungkook's heart like nothing ever has.
------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: i was so anxious about making this so long especially the Taehyung part but then the Taehyung part is something that happened to me irl, so i also just wanted it to be as real as possible. For Jimin, it just didn't feel right for the reader to agree to go out or be with Jimin without him earning it. But then, it also didn't quite fit in this reaction thing, if that makes sense? If y'all want some good ol' grovelling from this Jimin in a one-shot i will see what I can come up with 😉.
That being said, let me know what you thought of this! (This really was a lot of work, so your words would be greatest source of encouragement and achievement for me). Also, if you like my work and wish to have access to all my works before anyone else, here's my patreon!
Hope you enjoyed reading this!
#BTS FF#Bts au#BTS reactions#bts ot7#Ot7 reactions#Maknae line#BTS angst#BTS fic#BTS unrequited au#Jimin angst#Jimin FF#Jimin au#Fuckboi Jimin#Jimin scenarios#Taehyung angst#Taehyung au#Taehyung scenarios#taehyung reaction#Jimin reaction#Jungkook au#Jungkook FF#Jungkook angst#Jungkook scenario#jungkook x reader#Jungkook reaction#Idol Jungkook#Jimin x Reader#Taehyung x reader
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practice | jjk (series masterlist)
⇢ PAIRING: fuckboy!jk x inexperienced reader
⇢ RATING/GENRE: m/18+ | college au, fwb, smut, fluff, angst
⇢ STATUS: completed
⇢ PART ONE — | 8.1k |
you usually spend friday nights on your own. tonight, however, your friend and campus fuckboy, jungkook, decides to pay you a visit.
⇢ PART TWO — | 8.1k |
everything is wet. you and jungkook tangled up on the shower floor. your eyes afterwards.
⇢ PART THREE — | 12.8k |
sparks fly as you try to forget about jungkook.
⇢ DISTRACTIONS — | 1.1k |
jungkook agreed to let you do his makeup, but he can't stop getting distracted.
⇢ MIDNIGHT MISTAKES — | 2.5k |
a midnight romp with jungkook leads to tears on your cheeks and a pregnancy test in your hand.
© chryblossomjjk 2022 [do not copy, translate or repost] | gif in graphic is from @jung-koook
#jungkook smut#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#jungkook series#jungkook fic#bts#bts smut#bts fanfic#bts x reader#bts jungkook#fuckboy!jk#jungkook oneshot#jungkook imagine#jungkook scenario#jungkook angst
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Please someone write a Jungkook fic with this. I am pleading.
#but I don't know in what way#maybe anyone can write a fic on it#like#fuckboy jungkook#or maybe oc already knowing the dynamics#and playing along#so that he can get a taste of his own medicine#please someone write about it#if you are willing to write#please also tell me then#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook#bts#jeon jungkook#dodoneck#please#bts fanfics#bts jungkook#well that's kinda helpful
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the agreement (drabble i)
pairing: jungkook x fem. oc
tags: smut, fluff, college!au, fuckboy!jk, this is a flashback !!!! how it all began for our ooyg couple <3, mentions of cheating (brief)
warnings: kissing, fingering, a lil bit of breast play, protected sex, missionary, oral, multiple orgasms
word count: 5k
a/n: surprise !!! wrote this way long ago, here we get a glimpse of oc and jk's dynamic as friends <33 enjoy ! can be read as a standalone / part 1 / part 2
..••°°°°••..°°••….••°°..••°°°°••..
Jihyo forced all of you to have a picnic—to sit on the grass and not at some table like you all usually do. Especially since midterms just ended. Said everyone needs a little breather, some change of scenery. She assigned things to bring. Said she wants to have a picnic for the vibes. Or the aesthetic. You're not really sure but you comply nonetheless (and Mingyu threatened all of you to bring the stuff you're assigned to bring, or else you're not allowed in his car anymore). You think she's doing something cutesy like this because you all haven't seen each other in a while, been so swamped with exams and projects to submit.
You're sitting on a red and white picnic blanket—brought by Jihyo of course—enjoying the food brought by Jimin and Jungkook. It's just take out, really, but it's the effort those two boys did that make it a little special. You're in charge of the dessert and you can't wait to eat the cookies you baked.
You're wearing a dress to complete the vibes, one with a floral design and a sweetheart neckline. It doesn't really differ from your usual outfits but you don't mind. You feel the sun shining down on your shoulders as you're listening to Jungkook and Mingyu bicker about who's turn it is to wash the dishes.
"Stop fighting!" Jihyo finally says as the two start picking the pepperoni off the pizza and are chucking it at each other. Jihyo's not really mad because you can see she's trying not to smile, not to laugh, too enamored with Mingyu. They recently had just gotten together so they're still in the honeymoon stage. But you think they're endgame and will be like that forever. You wish you had a love like that. You're not looking for it now though, you know it'll come at the right time.
What stops Mingyu and Jungkook bickering is Jimin shouting that it's time for dessert. You laugh at your friends as they all make a grab for the tupperwares where your baked goodies are. You make good cookies. It's one thing you're proud of. You've made enough for everyone so you remind them of that. Still, it doesn't stop Jungkook and Jihyo from fighting over the last cookie. You only have a small piece for yourself. You have some extra back at your place, for you and for a certain someone who always asks for extra.
"You have more right?" Jungkook whispers from beside you. The others are busy eating and chatting away so they don't hear you both.
You smile and nod your head, too shy to say anything. You've always been like that with Jungkook—shy and speechless. Caught off guard. Even though you've been friends for a year and he's been nothing but nice to you. It's just the natural charm he has, which is why he has a lot of girls falling for him. You get them, even though you don't feel the same way.
Jungkook and you aren't as close as he is with Mingyu. But you're close enough that it's not weird to walk to class with him alone, or to grab coffee together before meeting up with your other friends.
Or for him to follow you right back to your apartment, trailing behind you like a puppy because he wants some cookies to take home.
"You going to the party later?" Jungkook asks as you're putting cookies in a ziplock bag.
"Mhm," you hum. "Not like I got a choice. Jimin said we all had to go or he'll leave the group chat."
Jungkook laughs with you. Jimin is dramatic like that but you both know he never means his threats.
"I can pick you up? I'll be in the area later anyway."
You laugh and roll your eyes at him. "Got another date, huh?"
Jungkook has the audacity to look shy, hand coming to scratch the back of his neck as he thinks of what to say.
"You know I don't date. But yeah, got some thing with some girl. She's in that English class we have together."
You hum in acknowledgment. You don't know which girl he's talking about but it's typical of Jungkook to say something of the sort. You all know he doesn't date. Doesn't believe in love or whatever. You're not really sure. But that's Jungkook and you all love him nonetheless. He's caring and observant, always looking out for his friends, but every boy must have a flaw.
His is not believing in love. You think it's a flaw because you do believe in love and believe that everyone is supposed to experience it. Not platonic love. Romantic love. Butterflies in your tummy, hand holding. All that shit.
Eventually Jungkook leaves your apartment with a ziplock full of cookies. He hugs you before you go which leaves you a little flustered, even though he says hello and goodbye with a hug always. He's cute, you can't help it.
You clean your apartment the whole afternoon, then study with the remaining time you have left while having dinner at the same time. Jungkook says he'll pick you up at 10pm and he's a pretty punctual person. You have an hour to get ready and you do just that. You think you've worn too many floral dresses this week so you change it up a bit by wearing jeans and a cute flowy top. It's still you, so you're happy.
You hear a knock on the door and open it right away, getting a little breathless at the sight in front of you. Jungkook's in all black, as usual, and he unbuttoned his polo almost halfway so you get a good view of his chest.
"Hi," he greets, leaning in automatically to hug you. He smells like fresh laundry with a hint of vanilla perfume. It's probably from the girl he was with earlier.
"Hey," you greet back.
"Ready to go?" he asks. You nod your head and lock your door. You notice him looking you up and down so you furrow your brows, suddenly conscious with what you're wearing.
"Is there something wrong, Kook?"
Jungkook seems to snap out of whatever thought he's in as he shakes his head. "No," he laughs. "Just noticed you're not wearing one of your usual dresses."
"Oh," you simply say. You feel your cheeks heating and there's nothing you can do to stop it. "Just wanted something different for tonight."
"It's nice," he says quietly, hands in his pockets as you both make your way to the party. Jungkook switches sides with you on the sidewalk, makes sure he's walking on the outside. It's a sweet gesture. It's something he always does so you're not phased.
The party is in full swing, loud music playing and people are already drunk. Jungkook doesn't leave your side till you see your other friends. You're three shots in when you finally spot Jimin.
"Hi!" Jimin slurs as he makes his way to you and Jungkook, pulling you both in for a hug. He smells like tequila and you can't help but cringe. "You guys are here!"
The three of you take another shot, per Jimin's request, before he drags you to the other side of the house to meet his friends. You lose sight of Jungkook after that. You don't really mind because you're having fun, dancing with Jihyo, playing beer pong with her, Mingyu and Jimin.
The fun lasts till you bump into Eunwoo.
See, you and Eunwoo dated for a while. Probably just for three months. He was such a gentleman, so sweet and caring, that you were absolutely blindsided when he decided to break things off.
It's been a month since then. You're kind of over it, but it's pretty hard to get over a guy like Eunwoo. Still, he walks up to you the moment he spots you in the crowded room. Makes some small talk. Stands too close.
"How are you doing lately?" He has to lean in to speak and you can't help but feel flustered.
"Been okay," you say simply. Don't want to update him about your life anymore. There's not really a point.
"Listen—" he starts to say.
"Babe!"
You take a step back in surprise, the voice is high pitched and shrilly and you don't recognize who it is. A pretty blonde girl walks up to Eunwoo, wraps her arms around his shoulders and plants a big fat kiss on his cheeks.
"Been looking everywhere for you," she purrs.
"Just talking to an old friend," Eunwoo says, and the girl finally looks at you.
"Oh, hi!" she slurs. Can smell the alcohol right off her. "Didn't see you there. My name's Binna, I'm Eunwoos' girlfriend." She sticks her hand out and you shake it, trying not to let your eyebrows raise in surprise. It's the fact she didn't ask for your name which puts you off.
"We've been dating for two months now," she continues to say.
Okay, now your eyebrows raise in surprise. Well. You know what that means and suddenly you can't breathe, chest constricting and hands turning clammy. You say a quick goodbye and run off to the other side of the house. You try to look for a room that's not locked nor occupied.
You and Eunwoo broke up. It's been a month. He's had a girlfriend for two months. Do the math. Do the math. Do the math.
Maybe Jungkook's right. Maybe love isn't real.
"Ugh," you groan, barging into a tiny and dark room. There are washing machines on one side and dryers in another. The silence helps you calm your nerves a little bit.
You weren't that upset over the break up, but now you kinda are. Can't believe you weren't good enough for Eunwoo. Can't believe he cheated on you. Can't believe you didn't notice it. Didn't even have a gut feeling.
"Okay," you say to yourself. "It's okay. Life goes on. He wasn't the one and that's okay." You down the drink you've been holding and cringe at the strongness of the alcohol. Mingyu makes the worst drinks, but it does the job.
Your peace is interrupted when the door to the laundry room suddenly opens, makes a loud sound as it slams against the wall, and in comes Jungkook.
He doesn't see you so he literally crashes into you since he's running inside the room. You would've fallen were it not for his quick reflexes, one hand going around your waist and the other behind your head to save you from bumping into anything.
"What the fuck, Jungkook?" you almost scream.
"What the heck are you doing here?" he says right back.
It's silent for a moment as you both look at each other. Eventually, you roll your eyes and step away from his hold, choosing to lean on one of the washing machines. "Long fucking story."
You watch him as he hops up to sit on one of the dryers. "Well, I've got time."
You look at him weirdly. "Why are you here anyway?"
He shrugs, swings his feet in the air. "Was running away from some girl. She was weird."
You laugh and shake your head. Typical Jungkook.
"And you?" he asks.
You sigh, looking down to pick at a loose thread of your top. "Bumped into Eunwoo. Met his girlfriend. They've been dating for two months."
"Oh," Jungkook breathes out. It's silent for a moment.
One, two, three, four, five, six—
"Oh?" he says again. "But you guys broke up last month?"
You look at him pointedly in reply, too scared to verbalize anything. He gets it though, could see the recognition on his face.
"Do you want me to punch him?"
You scrunch your nose in disgust. "Ew, no. Don't do that, Kook. I don't want to deal with him anymore. No point anyway."
"Cheating sucks," he mumbles. You nod in agreement. "S'why I don't date." It's a little tidbit he shares about himself and you try to mask your surprise. Jungkook doesn't share much about himself.
"Should probably do the same," you joke.
"But you always date," he laughs.
"I do not!"
"It's literally your thing!"
"Dating is not my thing, Jungkook!"
You bicker back and forth for a while, you don't even know what you're both talking about anymore. But laughing with Jungkook eases the heartache in your chest so you don't mind.
"I just think it'd be fun," he explains, "and it'll help you forget about that douchebag. I hope you don't think I'm forcing you. I'm really not," Jungkook explains, a smile gracing his face. "You don't even have to answer me right now. Or—"
"Let's do it," you say, interrupting Jungkook. His eyes widen and it makes you laugh. You don't think you've ever seen him look so caught off guard.
"Are you sure because—"
"Yes, Kook! Need some change in my life. Maybe I shouldn't date for a while. I've never done anything like this before, so I want to try." You nod to yourself in affirmation.
He shrugs at you. "It's just hooking up. No strings attached."
"No strings attached," you repeat. "Just a one time thing," you mumble as Jungkook walks to where you're standing.
"We can say stop anytime, ok?" Jungkook says. His lips are so close to yours that you can feel his breath. "Just tell me."
You nod your head in reply, too speechless and distracted by the fact that his lips are so close to yours. It feels so exhilarating, the thought of almost kissing someone like this. No romantic ties or whatsoever.
"Words, sweetheart."
"Yeah," you breathe out, licking your lips in anticipation.
"You're so cute," he giggles, leaning in even more to nudge his nose against yours.
"You gonna kiss me or what, Kook?" you complain instead, to hide the fluttering feeling of your chest.
"Are you that eager to kiss me?" he teases.
You've never talked to him this close, noses bumping into each other, lips so close you could feel it move when he talks. You don't sleep with people you're not in a relationship with, but you suppose now is a perfect time to do otherwise. Cheating does suck.
Jungkook finally leans in and presses his lips against yours. You shiver at first because the first thing you feel is the coldness of his lip rings. Then you shiver even more because his lips feel so damn soft against yours. You feel his tongue licking your lips, asking in silent permission to let him in, and you do so willingly without any fight in at all.
You hear him grunt against your mouth when you finally tangle your tongue with his, and you yelp in tiny surprise when he grips your waist and effortlessly lifts you up to sit you on the dryer behind. He shuffles between your legs and pushes himself closer to you if that's even possible. His hands start roaming your body—your legs, your waist, your back. You feel hot all over and you pull at his hair to try to ground yourself.
You can't help but pout when he leans back to take a breath of air, and you realize you're breathless as well. Jungkook laughs at your pouting form, mumbling a quiet cute which has you rolling your eyes at him again.
"You're so bratty," he laughs, his hands rubbing up and down your waist mindlessly. "Maybe next time I have to teach you a thing or two about having manners."
"Who says there's going to be a next time?" you joke, but you look Jungkook in the eyes and he looks serious.
It's his turn to roll his eyes. "Come here," he simply says, and you don't fight him anymore as he goes back to kissing you. You feel him tugging at your top. "Can I take this off, pretty?" he asks. You simply nod and he takes it off from you quickly, eyes blowing out at the sight of your bare chest.
"Wow," he breathes out.
"They're just tits, Kook," you simply say, but you can't help but feel your heart racing at the look he's giving you. Like he wants to eat you whole.
"But you have nice tits," he replies back, eyes not leaving your chest. You start getting self conscious all of a sudden, had never had a guy in this position stare at your body for this long. You start bringing your hands up to cover yourself.
"Hey," he tuts, frowning so heavily his cheeks are puffed out. "Don't need to hide. It's just me." He gently brings your hands down and smiles at you, which makes you giggle in return.
"Don't think we can take our time here though," you say after a while. "Has to be quick."
Jungkook nods to himself, picking up your discarded top only to put it back on you. You look at him confusingly. You thought he'd just agree to a quickie given the place you're both in.
"You're right," he says. "We can go to your place?" he asks you.
You're too stunned to speak so you nod your head and hop down from the dryer. Jungkook interlaces his fingers with yours and you both walk back into the party only to leave the house. You try to ignore the stares you're getting, or the people whispering to each other as you and Jungkook pass by them. You're glad you don't bump into your friends.
It's silent as you walk to your apartment, but it isn't awkward. You feel his thumb rubbing your hand in a comforting matter, and it erases all doubts you have in your head. You're just here to have fun.
Eventually you get inside your apartment and you squeal the moment the door closes behind you both, because Jungkook picks you up and throws you over his shoulder. Walks quickly to your bed and drops you on it, kneeling right between your legs.
"Hi," you breathe out.
"Hello to you too," he says with a playful glint in his eye. "Now where were we?"
"We stopped right here," you say, feeling brave all of a sudden as you remove your top and throw the clothing somewhere behind you.
Again, Jungkook stares at your chest and licks his lips. "Right," he whispers. Then he makes eye contact with you and the lust and desire is suddenly gone. "We can stop anytime, okay?" he repeats his statement from earlier. "Like just tell me anytime and—"
"I get it, Kook!" you laugh, moving your leg to nudge his ribs which makes him laugh as well. "I heard you the first time." You continue poking his tummy with your foot.
"Okay, okay!" He grabs your leg to stop it from moving, brings your foot in front of his face. "Even your feet are cute." Then in sheer horror, he places a tiny kiss on your big toe.
"What the fuck!" you scream, trying to get your foot out of his hold but he's too strong. "Do you have a foot fetish or something?" you say through your laughs.
He apologizes but he doesn't look sorry one bit.
"Can we fuck, Jungkook?" you whine.
"Okay!" He smiles at you as he leans over, saying nothing else as he finally kisses you again. His hand slithers up to cup your boob and your back automatically arches in response. Then Jungkook kisses your cheek, down your jaw to your neck, then encloses his lips around your nipple.
"Oh," you moan out. You tug his hair again—it helps keep you sane. "Feels good."
Jungkook continues sucking your nipple, his other hand playing with your neglected breast. "Gonna take the rest of your clothes off, okay?" he says against your skin.
"Please," you whimper.
He smiles at your pliant form. "Seems like you do have some manners."
You're too fucked out already to talk back, just simply watch him as he removes your jeans and underwear. He moves down the bed to be eye level with your cunt and places a gentle kiss on your clit.
"Kook," you whine. "Please."
"Since you asked so nicely," he mumbles. He flattens his tongue and licks from your hole up to your clit, enclosing his lips around your bundle of nerves and he sucks. Hard.
"That feels so good," you breathe out. You don't think a guy has ever given you oral this good. You might even pass out from the intense pleasure you're feeling. You get it now. You get why a lot of girls fall for him. Why a lot want to sleep with him. You don't care that in this moment, you're just like the rest of them.
(Or maybe you're not. Jungkook did say your friendship with him won't change.)
You feel him nibble slightly on your clit and it sends your eyes rolling back, hips meeting his mouth to practically hump his face.
"What the fuck," you moan out just as Jungkook slides one finger inside you, curling it instantly to look for the spot that'll drive you insane.
He finds it right away and you see stars. "Can I come?" you whisper. "Please, please." You don't care one bit that you sound so desperate right now, you just want to feel that release. Want to feel good. Want to let go.
Jungkook detaches his lips from your clit and smirks at you. "Go ahead, pretty girl. Want you to feel good."
You close your eyes and pull at his hair even harder. You're so close to climaxing that you barely hear Jungkook moaning.
"Fuck," you say out loud, finally reaching your release. You feel the pleasure at your center, then it spreads down to your legs and up to your arms, all the way up to your head that you feel a little dizzy. Jungkook doesn't stop fingering you, and you're not even embarrassed that you can hear how wet you are down there.
"Okay, okay," you finally whimper once you start feeling the oversensitivity. You nudge him with your foot and he places one last kiss on your cunt before sitting up.
"How was that?" he asks proudly. Were it not for the mind blowing orgasm you just received, you would've rolled your eyes at his smugness.
"Like I died and went straight to heaven," you hoarsely reply.
He rubs your leg soothingly. "Still wanna continue?"
You nod your head and he smiles at you, then starts removing his clothes. You watch him silently and thank yourself for saying yes, because what the fuck, Jungkook's built like a Greek god.
And his dick is so pretty, too. You don't think you've ever described a cock as pretty until today. It's thick and long, the tip just resting a little bit bellow his belly button. It's leaking a bit too, could already see the precum, and you rub your legs together at the thought that Jungkook found pleasure in eating you out.
He comes back to bed and places himself on top of you, muscled arms caging your face.
"You good, pretty?" he says while smiling down at you.
"Yeah," you breathe out, feeling his heavy cock resting on your thigh. "Wanna suck you, though."
Jungkook chuckles at you in reply, head bowing down to nip at your neck. "No can do, sweet girl. Gonna blow my load the moment you suck me. Swear."
You pout at him and are about to talk back when he cuts you off.
"I know you're pouting. It doesn't work if I don't see it," he says against your neck.
"Fine," you mumble and he laughs again, body so close to yours that you feel the rumble in his chest.
He presses his lips against yours once again. You're so lost in the kiss that you don't realize his hand has been sliding down your body, rubbing your clit gently only to insert two fingers inside you.
"Kook," you moan against his lips.
"Just wanna make sure you're stretched out enough."
You're getting so close to climaxing again, but it feels like Jungkook already knows your body so well. He withdraws your fingers right when you're about to come. Even has the audacity to look cheeky when you huff at the loss of his fingers. You watch him get a condom from the back pocket of his jeans as you catch your breath. He rolls it on his cock before joining you in bed again, and you easily part your legs for him.
"Gonna go slow, okay?" He brings a hand up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "If it's too much, just tell me."
"Okay," you simply say, and he starts pushing his cock inside you. It's a tight fit, that you can tell, especially the head as it's the biggest part. God, he's so big. But you take it like a champ anyway, try to even your breathing until he slides all the way in.
"Holy shit," he groans, head dropping to tuck it in the crook of your neck. "You feel so good."
You get him, you really do. Jungkook fills you up so well, it's perfect, and the longer you feel him inside the faster the pain subsides.
You start rubbing his back gently. "You can move now, Kook. It doesn't hurt."
"Gimme a sec," he moans, busies himself with kissing your face instead. "Seriously." He looks at you in the eyes, his doe ones all blown out. "I might not even last long, it's embarrassing," he huffs.
You giggle at him. "Don't worry about it, silly. There's going to be a next time, like you said."
He smiles down at you, dimple popping out and nose scrunching. "Good," he mumbles while leaning down to capture your lips in his. Finally, he starts moving his hips. Slowly at first, just so you both get a good feel of each other.
Then his thrusts start getting a little bit faster and you can feel him so deep, even deeper when he puts your legs over his shoulder.
"Yeah," he groans, mesmerized by the way your tits bounce at each thrust. "There definitely needs to be a next time."
"Please," you start begging again, not really sure what you're begging for. Jungkook just glides in and out so easily because you're so wet. You feel your stomach tensing along with your thighs and you just want to come so badly again. You hold Jungkook's face in your hands and pull him down to kiss him.
"Wanna come," you pant against his mouth. "Please, Kook. Need to—"
"I got you, pretty," he grunts. "Come for me, ok? Wanna hear your pretty moans. Wanna feel your little pussy tighten around my cock."
His words edge you on even more and before you know it you're climaxing for the second time. Your legs start to shake and you let a few tears out at the ecstasy.
Jungkook prolongs your orgasm by fucking you some more. It's pure bliss you feel as you lay beneath him, watching the way his eyebrows scrunch together, feeling the cool metal of his necklace hitting your chin in time with his thrusts.
"Coming," he moans out and he delivers one hard thrust, so hard that you feel the tip of his cock deep in your belly. "Fucking hell," he curses. He thrusts turn short and slow, up until he finally stops and collapses on top of you.
It's silent for a moment as the both of you catch your breath. It's not like you did anything out of the ordinary. Didn't even switch positions. But you've never felt pleasure like this before and you're pretty sure Jungkook feels the same.
He brings his head up to look at you, tired smile gracing his face. He looks so good like this, just tired and spent but happy. "Hi," he whispers.
"Hello," you whisper back. He leans down and kisses you again, but this time it's slow and gentle. Like he wants to savor the moment. He asks in between kisses if you're okay, if you're not hurt, if you enjoyed, and you reassure him each time.
He pulls your body against his and you lay your head on his chest, your breathing slowing down in time with his steady heartbeat. He rubs up and down your back soothingly and it makes your eyes feel heavy. You feel Jungkook turn his head to kiss at your hair, and it makes you snuggle into him some more.
"Wanna shower?" he asks against your forehead.
"Sure," you hum. But neither of you move. "Give me like a minute. I can't feel my legs, I think."
He laughs and pinches your sides. You wiggle in his hold and try to escape, but Jungkook just tightens his arm around you. "Fucked you pretty hard, huh?"
You roll your eyes even if he can't see you at the moment. "You're so cocky about it."
He doesn't say anything else as he kisses your forehead one last time, then sits up and drags you into the shower with him. He just hugs you from behind as you both stand under the showerhead, letting the warm water wake you both up. You were a bit nervous at first agreeing to shower with him, thinking it'd be awkward since the thought of showering with someone is intimate. But it's not. You both stay silent as you lather each other in your shower gel. Jungkook even asks if he can wash your hair and you lean against his shoulder as he massages your head.
When you're both clean, he leans in to kiss you. You get so lost in it that you let him have his way with you again. Pretty soon he's kneeling down on the bathroom tiles, mouth on your pussy and tongue flicking against your clit. You come quickly, tired and spent already from a while ago, and when he stands up to kiss you, you ask if you can suck him off. He says yes, and you find yourself on your knees this time. You learn soon enough that Jungkook's a head pusher. But he does it so gently. Maybe he's just as spent as you are. He comes pretty quickly as well, and you swallow it all up and smile at him after.
You both get dressed and are in bed again, right in his arms. Jungkook feels warm and sturdy but also soft. Your eyes start to close and you drift off to sleep.
Jungkook isn't beside you when you wake up the next morning. Instead, you find a note on your bedside table.
Have a lot to do today. Sorry I dipped. Didn't want to wake you.
-Jungkook
P.S. - I stole two cookies :D
#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x oc#college jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook one shot#bts fanfic#fuckboy!jk#fuckboy!jungkook#mine#fic ooyg
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once the thrill expires | jjk
title credit: cardigan - taylor swift
pairing: college!jungkook x female reader
synopsis:
your housemate-turned-fwb takes another girl home after a night out
warnings: angsty, smutty turmoil. it's not that bad, but it definitely isn't a happy lil number. fingering, oral sex (f receiving), rimming (f receiving), vaginal sex, doggy, protected (!!) sex, lil spanks, jaykay sorta makes out with her ear???, jaykay is a fawk boy who needs to learn self-control, oc is holding out for something that'll never happen, multiple partners in one night (jk), jk calls the reader diz (dizzy)
wordcount: 5.8K
note from holly: virgo boy trauma for you in the form of a jk one shot lmao. it's rare you get virgo boy shit laid this bare but he he i love oversharing on the internet! there's an old paragraph from yet another virgo boy fic hidden in here, too so if you think it looks familiar, that'll be why!!
minors dni // cross posted to wattpad
The knock on your en-suite bathroom door comes as a surprise.
The subsequent twist of the lock mechanism from a coin wedged in the bolt on the other side does not.
There’s only one person it would be.
And so you don’t yell. Don’t tell him to go away, even if you do hug your legs into your chest a little tighter.
Sitting on the floor of your shower, dignity is preserved - but with skin as red as the flags that Jungkook freely hands you, and mascara staining your cheeks from the onslaught of piping hot water showering down on you, how dignified can you really be?
No words are spoken as the steam billows from the room, Jungkook not caring to shut the door behind himself. He takes a perch on the closed lid of the toilet, elbows to his knees, tattooed hands clasped beneath his chin. Refuses to look anywhere other than you.
There’s perplexion to his taut jaw - a frown embedded in his brows - but more than anything, there’s an overwhelming sense of confusion in his soft eyes. You’re unaware of the way he’s mirroring your expression back at you; how defeated you look, wet hair sticking to the side of your face, an emptiness in your gaze that is pale in comparison to the void in your chest.
With nothing but the pitter-patter of your shower to fill the space, you’re thankful that he can’t hear the way your heart is beating, or how you’re sniffing back the tears you were freely crying before he arrived.
“Jem messaged me,” he eventually says, quiet beneath the sound of the water. Leaning back, he wipes a palm over his face, then pushes it back into his dishevelled hair. Lets his hand fall between his legs, then shrugs as he looks at you as if to say, 'Don’t look at me like that' or 'It’s not my fault.'
And realistically, you know that it isn’t. Whatever he’s done is within the parameters of what was agreed upon. The way you feel - like Jungkook has stolen the moon and stopped the tides from turning - is not.
It’s not like either of you had ever expected to let things get this far, and definitely not for this long.
What had started as quiet kisses in the corners of clubs when your friends weren’t looking, had catapulted into drunken hook-ups after those aforementioned nights out.
He’d call you Dizzy, ‘cause he was convinced you looked at him like you’d been spinning in circles, all awe-struck and smiley. Pretty. Like a giggle was on the tip of your tongue at all times.
Was easy, back then. Convenient. He was newly single. Not looking for anything.
You’d been quietly harbouring an illicit crush on him from the day you moved into your shared university accommodation. Had been waiting for the stars to align - and once they had, you were certain that soulmates had to exist.
It’s the only way you can explain the small earthquake that happened half the world away at the very time you first met, the tectonic plates shifting to make sure you were perfectly presented to one another.
You didn’t feel the tremors - would have been impossible - but your heart certainly felt something. Adrenaline? Limerence? You’re not sure.
Whatever it was only became more and more prevalent with every tipsy hold of his hand on the way to clubs, or moments stolen in secrecy in the house you now share with six of your friends.
Now in your final year of university, if you spent as much time studying, as you do fretting over Jungkook - what he’s up to, who he’s with - maybe you’d get a first-class degree.
You’re on track for a 2:1.
He’s on track for a first, though.
You choose to believe it’s because he’s naturally more academically inclined (as if you didn’t write an entire paper for him last semester), and not because he spends significantly less time thinking about you.
There’s no need for endless thoughts, though.
The arrangement is simple: You’re friends.
Best friends. Spend all your time together. Are plus ones to events. Fill the void that a partner should fill; at the winter balls, cinema screenings you don't want to see alone, and in the hushed privacy of midnight intimacy. He gets you off when you need it, and you him.
Kisses are never shared between lips - apart from that one summer when he accidentally said he was in love with you, then took it back a week later under the guise of not wanting to ‘ruin’ the friendship.
You don’t speak about that summer.
Hook-ups are in your room, always, ‘cause you’ve only got Jem in the room next door. Jungkook’s room is up on the middle floor, surrounded by all the boys. They’d realise what’s going on far too quickly.
It’s simple - yet excruciatingly complicated when there’s a lack of commitment, and Jungkook looks at you in the way that he does.
His lips are a little deeper than their usual pink this evening, but you put it down to alcohol.
Denial is a wonderful thing, and delusion even greater.
Still, he leans forward to push the shower door open. Leans further still, then knocks the tap off. Lets the water trickle down the drain, the hum of the pipes murmuring like your unspoken grievances.
Rivulets of water chase down your skin. Jungkook watches one race from your knee to your ankle, running straight over the bruises from messy nights out and the small cut at the bottom of your calf from the fountain you’d both traipsed through when you were a little too merry a few nights prior.
He’d given you a piggyback the entire way home, blood staining the white of his shirt; the very essence of you embedded now in the fabric of him.
He’d patched you up after you got home. Showered with you, right here, then carried you the measly five or six steps to your bed. Had told you that you’d definitely get sepsis and die. Kissed it better, then decided he didn’t know any better, and trailed his lips up your leg. Took pity on your impending death and gave you a little, lovely death just to soften the blow.
Funny, how you think sepsis would be preferable over whatever the fuck it is that you’re feeling now.
“Jem messaged me,” he repeats. Presses his lips together, the ring in the corner of his mouth glistening under the white lights of the bathroom. “Said I should check on you. Been in the shower for an hour, apparently.”
Well, you think to yourself, bitterness wrapping around your words like poison ivy. You’ve checked. You can go now.
The words don’t manifest in your throat. Nothing does. Not even the echo of a sob you’ve been holding in since he first stepped foot within your sanctuary.
Instead you’re silent as you get to your feet, not caring for your nakedness. It’s nothing Jungkook hasn’t seen before. Probably knows your body better than his own at this point. Can look at the faded bruise on your chest and know that it was left there by his lips last week. Can pick out which ones of your dainty linework tattoos were there before he met you, and which ones have been acquired since.
It’s a quiet intimacy, the way Jungkook looks at you. There’s no towel in the bathroom - an oversight by your tipsy brain when deciding you needed to wash yourself clean of the man in front of you after arriving home from the club - and Jungkook doesn’t care to offer you one.
Insanity is the product of looking at your body, he thinks. Can’t remember a time he’s ever seen you like this and hasn’t wanted to be inside you. He’s a simple man in pursuit of simple pleasures, and the way you fit him like a glove is the simplest pleasure of them all.
“Hm?” He questions your lack of a response.
His deep black eyes are just like the depths of the ocean floor, and it feels like he’s dragging you right down every single time he looks at you like this. Softly. Tenderly. Sweetly. As if he actually gives a shit.
There’s no room for two in this bathroom. It’s not a space designed to be shared, no matter how many times you’ve both squeezed into the shower under far different circumstances - though now you come to think of it, perhaps they weren’t so dissimilar.
It was always Jungkook’s pursuit of pleasure that put you in that position, just like it put you there tonight.
“Hey,” he says quietly, as you turn to leave, his grip on your waist pulling you between his legs. You don’t look at him. Just keep your head turned to face out of the room - but you make no attempt to leave. Especially when his nose brushes up against the bottom of your ribs right between your breasts, and he husks, “Why are you being like this?”
The softness of his lips as he presses them against your sternum, long lashes splayed across the top of his cheeks, has you spiralling. Kind of feels like he’s twisting a corkscrew through your heart. You know he’ll rip it right out - but maybe you’ll let him, if it means he’ll kiss the wound better.
“Hmm?” He hums. One of your hands rests on his shoulder, the other in his hair, and that’s how Jungkook knows he’s rectified the damage done for a short while. It’s like putting washi tape over holes punched in the walls - useless, and bound to fall off eventually, but ever so pretty in the meantime. Another washi-tape kiss is pressed to your skin, a little higher this time. “We had a good night, didn’t we?”
The tenderness of his voice rewrites the events of the evening. A good night.
Not one with tears, and jealousy, and arguments that people who claim to be just friends have no business having. A night shared together, perhaps, with no one else to intrude.
Didn’t we?
You so prefer this false chain of events - the one where he left the bar with you, and held your hand in the cab ride back just like he’d done in the cab ride there.
“Is she still here?”
He’s surprised that you’re mentioning it. Half-expected you to act like it never happened. Like she never happened. Is what you usually do, whenever he goes home with someone that isn’t you.
Still, he just continues to gently stroke your sides. Doesn’t present you with any sort of weakness.
“No.”
“Did you fuck her?”
There’s a little venom to your tone; the poison ivy around your thoughts sprouting now from your throat.
Her. Some inconsequential girl that neither of you will likely ever see again. Looked nothing like you, but a hell of a lot like his ex.
“No, Diz,” he softens the sternness of his tone with a name only he calls you. “I didn’t fuck her.”
You’ve no idea if this is a lie or not.
It’ll be accepted as truth for an hour. Maybe two. Just enough time for you to convince yourself that you’re the one he wants. That he couldn’t bear to fuck anyone else. That he sent her on her way after a kiss or awkward fumble, because he realised no one else could feel as good as you.
You’ll ignore the fact you know he’s here because Jem messaged him.
You’ll ignore the fact he thinks you’ve been in the shower for over an hour, and has no actual knowledge of the events of it all.
You’ll ignore the scratch mark on his back, and in the morning you’ll believe it was you who left there even though your nails are bitten right down.
The lies you’ll tell yourself will be far more grand than the ones Jungkook ever tells you. Nobody can ever hurt you quite like you hurt yourself.
And so, against your better judgement, you let him follow you to your bed.
There's a clang as he tosses his rings down into the ceramic dish beside your bed. It's white, and speckled in tiny black dots, and matches the one Jungkook has in his own bedroom. Not really a surprise. He was the one who bought it for you. Before then, he used to just tuck his rings beneath your pillows - but he kept losing them, and he found it annoying having to rummage around for them whenever he was trying to make a silent exit so as to not wake you.
You tell yourself that small things like this are Jungkook's way of integrating himself into your life; creating permanence. In reality, it's just something that makes it easier for him to leave.
Leaving is the last thing on your mind right now, though, and it will be until he comes.
It used to be different. He used to stay. You convince yourself each and every time that he’ll do what he used to do before things got so confusing. That he’ll stay, and that things will be okay.
You let him kiss your skin, but he’ll never kiss your lips. Let him lay claim to your body, even though you know he’ll never lay claim to your soul.
It’s nice to pretend.
Nice, when he lays you down and rids himself of his shirt. Nice, when he presses your legs apart, and looks at you like you’re the first woman he’s ever laid eyes upon. Nice, when he says shit like, “Such a nice cunt,” and “Let me make you feel good.”
So nice, when he strokes up and down your inner thigh, eyes trained on your pussy.
So, so nice when he slowly drips a little spit between his pursed lips and watches as it trails down your folds.
So fucking nice, when he spreads you with his index and middle finger, groaning at the sight of you.
See, Jungkook can be nice. Can be honest. Can tell you how much he wants you, and you can believe him without having to do mental gymnastics over it all.
As he sinks his middle finger into you - “Shit. So wet for me, aren’t you?” - Jungkook is on his best behaviour. He’ll make you feel so good that you’ll forget he ever made you feel bad, cause he needs this. Needs you.
Not in the life-debilitating, earth-shattering, universe-bending way that you need him, but in a way that isn’t too dissimilar.
You’re his best friend. He loves you in his own, curious way. Would lay his life on the line for you. Just can’t seem to keep his dick in his pants for no other reason than selfish gluttony.
It’s his fatal flaw, but he just thinks everyone has them. That most people are like this.
Of the seven deadly sins, Jungkook wields them all. Too proud to admit his wrongdoings. Greedy in his need to have everything life can offer, and how he refuses to limit himself to just you. His lust and gluttony go hand in hand - yet whenever any one else with similar predispositions look in your direction, he turns green with envy. Green, until he’s red, wrath taking hold.
But he’s lazy, too. Far too settled in how easy it is to have his way with you. Why would he try harder when you never make him?
That’s your cardinal sin: desperation.
It reeks. Spiced vanilla and black cherry. Tarnishes your skin, until Jungkook licks it from you.
And so as his lips press down your legs, wet and wanting, you don’t object. In fact, you don’t really do anything. You just allow it to happen.
Because you are desperate - for him, his approval, his desire. His heart.
You’ll never get it, mind you, for his heart is hollow.
Saw every example of what he considered to be true love crackle and crumble until it fell apart. Parents divorced. High-school sweetheart cheated. Love, as you know it, doesn’t exist in Jungkook’s understanding of life.
You never stood a chance. Not really.
The only times his heart is full is when he steals enough adoration from yours, and cosplays it as his own. Shines it back at you, and tricks you into thinking that maybe he did mean it when he mumbled false declarations into your lips.
But that was three summers ago, now, and Jungkook is a creature of habit. Too stuck in his ways to ever change. Comfortable in this chaos with you.
‘Cause while the other girls are fleeting, and fun, and always very nice, they’re never comfortable. Not like you are.
“I liked your dress tonight,” he whispers, as he pushes a second finger into you. Pumps them gently, palm skywards, coaxing soft little moans from your lips. Curls them just right, just like he always does.
The affection of such a compliment rids you of the haunting way he’d looked at you earlier that evening.
Up, down. No smile. Turned away to change the song coming through the aux at pre-drinks. Didn’t look at you again until he was passing out shots for everyone to take. Just nodded towards your necklace - the one his hobbyist silversmith mother made you for Christmas - and asked, “You like it?”
The pendant is small. Embossed with the letters DJ - the name his mother collectively calls you whenever you spend the summer together at his place. The hammered edge of the pendant matches the ring that wraps around your thumb. Another one of her creations, gifted to you by him for your birthday.
“Of course I do,” you’d said. Seemed silly for him to ask. You wear it most days.
“Good,” he’d nodded, then took his shot and pretended as if he wasn't all too aware that your dress would be attracting good-for-nothing men all night.
See, Jungkook knows you like the necklace. Had just been reminding you of it, and the fact it’s his initial on there with the initial only he calls you. Well, him and his mother. Goes with the territory.
She’s seen you through your formative years. Only ever sees the good parts, because Jungkook orchestrates it that way.
She doesn’t see the moments like these, when he’s crushed your self esteem and tries to fix it in the most idiotic of ways.
The necklace pools around the base of your throat as your head tips back into the pillows, his thumb coming to toy with your clit, gently pressing down.
“Shush, Diz,” he smiles, so pleased to see your body responding in the way that it always does. “You’ll get us in trouble.”
God forbid the people you live with - who’ve all heard the arguments after his illicit encounters with randomers, and seen his face of thunder whenever you’re getting ready for first dates - ever figure out you’re fucking. Not like it’s obvious in the slightest. Not why Jem texted Jungkook, instead of checking on you herself.
Biting onto your wrist, you try and stifle the impact of his touch - ‘cause if they do hear, it will be your fault. You’ll be the reason everyone knows your dirty little secrets. You’ll be the one who ruins it all. Not him. Just you.
He doesn’t mean to condition you in such a way. Doesn’t even really realise he’s doing it.
Nor do you - but your self esteem is shot to shit. You’re good enough to fuck, but not good enough to love, even if Jungkook insists that there’s no one he adores more. It always comes with an add-on of ‘you’re my best friend’, or ‘you wouldn’t wanna date me anyways’.
Maybe he’s right.
But maybe it would have been nice to try.
Shame.
The pace of Jungkook’s fingers pumping into you begins to slow. Leaking around the base of his knuckles, you’re just as wet as you always are with him. Even when the emotional labour of letting him have his way with you feels like a ten tonne weight on your chest, crushing down on your ribs and spoiling you forevermore, your body still wants him. Only him. Always him.
Withdrawing his fingers, Jungkook taps the outer side of your thigh. “On your front for me, Diz. Face down, ass up.”
With anyone else, Jungkook is far more often on the receiving end. It’s a shame, ‘cause his talents go to waste, it’s just what he’s found to be typical of random hook-ups.
He loves pussy. Loves eating it. Loves that you love it, too.
Slow as he spreads your ass with his hands, Jungkook really doesn’t fuck around with wasting time. He dives in without hesitation, burying his tongue between your folds. Cares not for accuracy, nor carefulness. Just wants his tongue all over you.
Your body lurches forward, hands clutching onto the duvet beneath you. He’s always been like this. Hungry. Just as desperate as you so often feel, but better at hiding it than you are.
His tongue laps against you. Sinks into your soaked hole as deep as he can get it. Uses one of his hands to reach around and toy with your clit while he continues to explore somewhere he knows like the back of his hand.
Pulling back a little, Jungkook’s breathing is heavy. You can hear it. Groan, as he grips your ass again. Spanks it softly, then get back to his previous position. Licks a stripe from your clit up to your leaking cunt, then continues. Flicks up against the tight muscle you rarely let him fuck around with.
But you want him to want you. Want him to have you in whichever capacity he so desires.
You reach back. Tangle a hand in his hair, and encourage him to massage your tight hole with his tongue, like you know he loves to do.
It���s kinda cute, in a way. He likes doing it, ‘cause he loves the way it feels whenever your tongue toys with his ass. Assumes other people must love it too. Just wants you to feel good. Wants to right his earlier wrongs.
He continues to trace up and down both your holes, stimulating your entire body in the process. Rubs your clit with his fingers, till you're writhing against the sheets, body pressed flat to the cotton as Jungkook begins to fuck his fingers into your again.
“You gonna cum for me?” He husks, a smile on his wet lips as he watches the tell-tale sign of an orgasm rush over you. Soon, you’ll be looking at him with dizzy eyes once more, and your namesake will make Jungkook feel things he pretends he can’t feel. “That’s it, Diz. All over my fingers. Good girl. Good fuckin’ girl.”
There’s a relief that comes with your orgasm for Jungkook. Hope that you’ll stop being mardy with him. He doesn’t like it when you don’t like him. These days, he keeps making choices that make it hard for you to like him.
But you always like him - like him so much - in the comedown of a climax.
He doesn’t give you much time to recover. Wants to coax a second orgasm from you while he still can. Pulls you back into position - face down, ass up - and pushes down his sweats. Cock hard, there’s a small damp patch in his boxers from the precum he’s leaked for you. Lines himself up.
“Let me fuck you,” he begs before he pushes into you.
“Uh-uh,” you full forward a little, preventing him from doing what he so desperately wants to do. Turning to look over your shoulder, you shake your head. “Condom.”
He furrows his brows. Has the audacity to look fucking offended, as if he didn’t bring another girl back to the house you share.
You’re stupid, and you’re desperate, and you make all the wrong choices, but you aren’t naive. Not really. Your delusions and denial are always elevated away from reality, of which you like to think you have a firm grip on.
And so you simply say, “Don’t believe you didn’t fuck her.”
He doesn’t deny it. Shakes his head, not that you can see it. Just reaches to the shelf above your bed, and gets one from the pot you keep them tucked away in. Rarely ever use them. It’s a novelty, more than not, when you use them. Something to make him last a little longer.
It’s different today.
Today, it’s because you don’t know if his cock is fucking clean or not.
It should crush you, but it doesn’t.
Just a fact of life. Jungkook fucked someone else less than three hours ago. Came, probably. For someone else. Over someone else. Inside someone else.
But that desperation of yours is back once more. You want to be the reason why Jungkook loses his mind in temporary bliss. To be better. To be his last memory of the evening.
And so as Jungkook rolls the condom down his thick shaft, you position yourself perfectly for him. Whimper as the tip of his cock kisses your entrance. Whine, as he pushes inside you.
“That’s it,” he husks, gripping your ass cheeks to spread them nice and wide. Looking down to where your bodies meet, Jungkook is reminded of why he enjoys you so much. No one takes him so well. No one. He knows this. Doesn’t know why the fuck he ever feels the need to seek out anyone else. They’re never as good as this. “Fuck. That’s it, baby.”
Your hips roll back, ass bouncing in that hypnotic way he always swears will ruin him. His grip loosens to let you do the hard work, one of his hands stroking up your spine until it’s resting around the base of your throat.
Taking back a little control, he keeps your head pushed into the pillows. Grunts. “Take this cock so fuckin’ well, don’t you?”
The mumble you moan into the sheets isn’t enough for him. He always does this. Asserts control and then realises he actually kinda fuckin’ hates it. Fingers still wrapped around the base of your neck, Jungkook pulls you up.
Chest pressed to your back, Jungkook wastes no time locking you in place with an arm around the front of your waist. His cock continues to pump upwards into you, the movements a little subdued but by no means lacking.
The ridge of his thick head rubs up against your sweet spot. Gets you so fucking needy. Has your hand dipping to your clit to match the pressure.
And when you do? Oh, it’s heaven. You can’t help but whine - so Jungkook uses the hand that isn't on your waist to cover your mouth.
“You only get to cum if you’re quiet,” he tells you. “Be quiet for me, baby.”
But his hips are erratic. The sounds are lewd; skin on skin. It’s wet. Disgusting. Needy. Him, just as much as you. Sweat blossoms on his skin, keeping you both in this clammy haze of hedonism.
Catching his lips on your ear, Jungkook doesn’t care if he isn’t supposed to let kisses linger so close to your lips. Tongue wet, he intrudes. Licks the shell of your ear. Grazes his teeth on your lobe. Whispers, “You looked so pretty tonight,” then drags his tongue across your ear.
Cares not for precision nor accuracy, just the fact that this is an area of the body he doesn’t often explore, and that maybe he should do it more often, given how tightly your pussy is clamping around him.
There’s something about it - the obstruction of one of your senses likely to blame, sound distorted whenever his tongue licks against it - that makes you whine.
You can’t even really do that now. Are too muffled beneath his hand - until he pushes the two fingers that had been inside your pussy earlier into your mouth.
The taste is just the same as it always is whenever he does shit like this. Loves having you taste yourself. Experiencing what he experiences. Wants you to know exactly why he’s incapable of letting you go.
“Slutty little mouth,” he smirks against your ear. “Gonna finish in it.”
“Mhhm?” you mumble against the fingers you’re keeping wet and warm for him.
“Mhmm,” he replies. Presses a kiss to your temple, ‘cause he isn’t really thinking straight. Groans when your cunt clenches from the touch. “God, you want it, don’t you? Want it so bad. Wanna swallow my cum.”
Of course you do. You’ll take what he’ll give you.
Your mumble around his fingers isn’t enough. He wants to hear you say it. Frees your mouth of himself. Grips your chin between his forefinger and thumb. Turns you to face further over your shoulder.
He’s just gonna make you say it. Just make you say something lewd to get him a little closer. Just… Just gonna… Just...- Oh, fuck it. Your lips are just there, and they’re wet, and they’re pouty and - God, forgive me - perfect for him.
His eyes flitter between your eyes and your lips. Is aware you’re doing the same.
“Kook,” you whisper, as if you’re about to reprimand him.
“Please,” he begs. Thinks he needs this just as much as you do. Maybe even more so.
And so somewhere between the overwhelming acknowledgement that this is a catastrophic chain of events, and the promise of a happy ending (of which you know damn well will never reach fruition), you let him sink his lips into yours.
You’re pretty in war, and even prettier in defeat.
Jungkook thinks you’re prettiest when you’re all his.
You think that to be his is to accept an eternal loss.
The breath of his nose is heavy against your cheek as his lips press into yours, brows furrowed. The need for you to be lewd is abandoned, ‘cause Jungkook doesn’t even think he’ll last long enough for it. Thinks that nothing gets him closer than the flavour of your lips.
Hips still jerking up, the sound of his skin hitting your ass echoing around the room, Jungkook fucks himself into you until he can do it no longer. Pulls away. Rips off his condom. Tosses it to the floor. Gets you face down again. Wanks himself to the point of coming undone, hot spurts of cum dripping onto your ass and spilling down to the valley of your spine.
He’s the one moaning now, your body defiled by a boy who you wish would paint you in pretty compliments instead. Still, this is a compliment. Kind of. You’re hot enough to make him cum. That’s nice, you suppose.
“Shit,” he chokes out, breathing all out of sync, heartbeat far too rapid. A light spank is tapped against your ass, then softly stroked. He soothes. Aloe on sunburn. Milk with hot sauce. Pretty kisses in the comedown of a rough fuck.
You won’t get those. Wasn’t a particularly rough fuck, either - and yet it hurts so much when he gets up to leave.
It’s awkward. He doesn’t really say bye. Doesn’t acknowledge the fact he stoked a fire inside you that burned you from the inside out. Ignores the ashes that are scattered around your vessel, as if your soul has been ejected from its home.
He’s warm, when you look at him. That little part of your heart has been stolen once more. He’s just feeding it back to you.
“Sorry,” he says, a hand on your doorknob. “I shouldn’t- I mean, we shouldn’t-”
“It’s fine,” you offer.
That’s the thing about Jungkook. He’ll give you the world, then realise it was never his to give. Always has to ask for it back. You’ve lost count of how many times he’s fucked you, then acted as if was foolish - only to repeat the same mistakes the next evening.
It’s what he’s always done, and is what he’ll always do.
You’ll never learn.
The shirt you chuck on to head downstairs the next morning is his.
Far too big for you, it finishes around your thighs. Television blaring in the room beneath you, it’s obvious your housemates are awake, and even as you’re trudging down the stairs, you’re not quite sure you’re alive.
The headache of an overbearing hangover is threatening your life. You’re certain of it. The fact your housemates have the television set to what must be the maximum volume? Only further sending you to an early grave.
And yet when you see Jungkook sitting by the breakfast bar, hair in all different directions, a bowl of cereal in front of him, and smiling in the direction of whomever else is in the room, you find yourself smiling, too.
“Morning,” you say pleasantly as you walk into the kitchen, ready to flop your forehead down on Jungkook’s shoulder like you so often do.
Ready, until you notice the look in his eyes when he turns to face you.
Ready, until you glance in the direction of his previous smile.
Ready, until you see the girl who looks a lot like his ex-girlfriend and absolutely nothing like you leaning on the other side of the counter. Mug from your trip to Amsterdam together in her hands, and the shirt you got him for his birthday covering her body, she smiles.
You’re drowning.
“Oh,” you say, not looking at him. Only her. “I didn’t realise we had company.”
“Is she still here?”
“No.”
She’s awkward as she nods. “Sorry, hey. I crashed here last night - hope you don’t mind? It’s just you know what it’s like getting an uber at that time-”
“Yeah, yeah,” you nod. Smile. Jungkook thinks you look pretty - but of course he does. You look defeated. “Totally.”
“Did you fuck her?
“No, Diz. I didn't fuck her.”
“Jungkook said you were feeling unwell last night?” She tries to make conversation. She needn’t. You feel far more unwell now than you ever did last night - and that’s before you notice the pretty purple bruise forming on her neck. “How are you feeling now?”
Her care is kind. Considerate. Wholly wasted on you because you’re gonna lie, and say that you’re fine, even though it feels as if your lungs have been filled with venom spat by a lover who is incapable of loving.
Still, you don’t look at Jungkook. Just make your excuses. Leave.
And even though he knows that he should, Jungkook doesn’t chase after you.
He lets you go, because he knows you’ll always come back. You always do.
But if you don't?
Well, he’ll go back to you, and you’ll let him. Again, you always do.
From the kitchen, Jungkook can hear your showering starting up. Appetite lost, he isn’t listening to the girl in front of him. Isn’t even really sure of her name.
All that he’s sure of is that the fall out of this is not gonna be pretty.
#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook ff#jk ff#jungkook masterlist#jungkook fic#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x oc#jeon jungkook smut#bts fanfic#byholly#angst#smut#jungkook x y/n#fuckboy!jungkook#college!jungkook#college au
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omg y’all this is the most love & support i’ve received since i started writing 🥹 can’t wait to post bad decisions <3
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Tell Me What Changed Part 10 A
Banner and lines by the talented @awrkive
Summary: Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood –actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he’s in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much… not that. Which is fine and doesn’t matter! Until Jimin’s impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can’t believe what happens next.
Fuckboy Best Friend JK x OC
CW and tags: fuckboy behavior, jealousy, pining, heartbreak, angst, bad language, explicit sex, sexy photos, alcohol, f2l, who knows what else
Read on AO3 here or below cut
Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter
This chapter is split into two parts, make sure to read 11B before you go onto chapter 11!
Jungkook had seen the venue that morning. He was wearing a tux. He’d been along for the ride emotionally for the whole planning over the last year. It wasn’t like he didn’t know going into it that this wedding was the fanciest thing he would ever be at. But still, there was something overpowering about the event when it was finally time.
Or maybe he was nervous about other things.
No. No, it was the wedding, that was all.
He fidgeted with the cuffs of his shirt in his jacket sleeves as he, Jimin, and the other groomsmen waited in a lavishly decorated hallway for In’am to descend so Jimin could walk her into the ceremony, one of the customs In’am had wanted to preserve of Egyptian weddings.
They had already taken pictures a couple of hours ago, already caught on film when Jimin had seen In’am in her wedding dress for the first time looking like a goddamn princess, that was the truth. The white and gold, the diamonds, the elegant fit, the graceful way In’am always had of moving, it left Jungkook wondering not for the first time if he’d been casually chilling with a true princess all this time. Jimin cried. Jungkook almost cried because his friend was crying. In’am glowed. It was nice to see your friends so happy.
Because of that, Jungkook had expected her appearance this time to be unremarkable. It was not. Jimin teared up again. He accused In’am of getting more beautiful in the last hour. In’am smiled and tenderly touched his face.
Jungkook cleared his throat and looked away at the intimate gesture. His whole body felt like a bag of bees. Nerves. He better not fuck up the wedding. That was all he was worried about. Seriously. Nothing else. That’s why it felt like he was moving through water with every wedding thing they did today, the ticking echo of a countdown clock in the background making the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. He just didn’t want to fuck up their wedding. Honest to god truth.
There was nothing else to be nervous about.
The wedding event had control of two giant ballrooms, one for the ceremony and one for the reception. Jungkook offered his arm to Ina’m’s younger sister –whom he had not slept with, just to be crystal clear– and followed along behind Jimin’s brother and In’am’s older sister down the central aisle. The sea of quiet chatter disappeared as a string quartet played something Jungkook couldn’t recognize now. He was focused on not stepping on his partner’s dress, but also he was scanning the faces.
She was here. She’d been at In’am’s henna night. He’d checked her instagram feed earlier because she was posting again but it was still just random cats and a fat squirrel terrorizing her dad’s bird feeder –which he sympathized with Baba more about now that he and Namjoon had their own squirrel problem. Nothing had been more gratifying than when he’d greased the pole and they’d watched through the window as the fuckers slid helplessly back down to the ground.
Greased the pole as in he put crisco on the bird feeder hanger, not… not that pole… that had nothing to do with squirrels obviously…
His thoughts were scrambled. He wasn’t seeing her but there were so many people. Hundreds of people. And it was hard to see everyone because the lighting was all fancy, shining a spotlight on the wedding party as they paraded down the aisle between the birch branches strung with fairy lights. Yes, he knew they were birch branches because there had been a whole thing about it. There had been a whole thing about every single detail of this wedding. If he ever got married, he did not want it to be this way.
But Jimin and In’am seemed happy despite all the battles with their family and that’s what mattered. It was easy to smile at them as they took their positions in front of the officiant. His work was done for now except to stand there and look handsome and happy for them, so he went back to scanning the elaborately decorated room for a single face while trying not to look like he was doing exactly that.
She was here. She had to be here.
He saw May first actually, next to Minxi who had brought her as her +1, and Rebekah, and then Alex! Wedged in between Rebekah and Sabina, a dip between her two taller friends. She was having to lean this way and that to see in front of the taller people in front of her. She was short! She should have sat close to the front, or on the aisle! He almost didn’t recognize her at first because she had a haircut. Bangs. Other than that, he couldn’t make out much about her from this distance but she was here and relief settled around him.
Now he could relax and enjoy the wedding. The wedding was going on, and Alex was here, so everything was fine. He just hadn’t seen her in so long! Not since the arcade, except when he had waved as she she drove away for Thanksgiving with Hoseok’s family.
Where, rumor had it, she had broken up with her boyfriend.
A whole ass two and a half weeks ago during which Jungkook hadn’t heard from her, and had been too chicken to ask anyone else to confirm what he thought May’s texts meant. No one else had said anything, but maybe no one else knew anything yet? Or they just weren’t telling him? It was fucked up, people should tell him that kind of thing without him having to embarrass himself by asking!
It wasn’t like Jungkook was just sitting around waiting for gossip though, he really had been busy, thank fuck. It kept him from being able to just sit around waiting for her call –not that he would have! Obviously! Just for her to say what? If he had anything to do with the breakup? Or if the end of that relationship at least meant they could be friends again, even if the breakup had been nothing to do with him, even if she just didn’t return his feelings? He felt like being humble about the possibility rather than admitting his hopes might make it more likely to be true. If he was humble about it, maybe that would make the better thing true.
She hadn’t dumped another guy for him, had she?
Had she?!
Was he just her go-to excuse for getting out of tough situations? She’d used the her grandma dying and her dog dying too many times, so ‘My friend is in love with me’ was her backup?
So no, no he had not just been sitting around waiting for her, even if his brain had found plenty of time to wonder and worry and panic in between.
Work had been busy for the holiday shopping season. He and Namjoon had tried to do some late fall house things instead of paying someone else to do it, like cleaning the gutters. There had been lots of last minute wedding things to do, and emotional support to lend Jimin and In’am, and a bachelor party last weekend that had taken two days to recover from. Plus he was an uncle now! Jinhyung’s baby was small and kinda weird looking but cute too, and he’d gone by a few times to visit or drop things off because his mom asked him to.
See! So much going on! He had not just sat around thinking about Alex and if she was okay, and if the breakup had been really upsetting, and who was buying her ice cream, and whether he had anything to do with it. May wouldn’t tell him shit except for her cryptic out of the blue text: bye hoseok barely knew ye
Jimin and In’am shuffled around to sing the contract –a sweet one they had written together and read out now like personal vows, meshing wedding traditions in a way that Jungkook admired partly because they did it despite their families. Families shouldn’t have a final say.
Although maybe sometimes families should step the fuck up and say something if they noticed their son was in love with his friend; they could like, give him a nudge or something and help him figure it out sooner–
Whatever. His smile was sincere as he watched two people he loved take a moment to celebrate this official, legal, spiritual, and familial merging of their lives in front of hundreds of people, many of whom they barely knew. But they were happy. Different people liked different things. Different people took different paths in life.
His gaze drifted out to the audience again. Would Alex cry at something like this? She hadn’t cried at Namjoon’s wedding but that was a long time ago and she hadn’t liked the bride. He didn’t think she looked like she was crying. He couldn’t tell from the distance. Was she looking at him?! Or the couple getting married in front of him? He straightened his shoulders and stretched his neck and smoldered, just in case.
His attention returned to Jimin and In’am as they exchanged the rings, simple gold bands, their eyes shining brighter than any diamonds. In’am glowed when she looked at Jimin. He couldn’t see Jimin’s face but he could feel the same glow emanating from his posture. They loved each other deeply, exactly the kind of love you hoped for your friend. Jimin deserved that, and so did In’am. They were two of the best people he’d ever met.
Oh fuck he was crying! So much for looking cool. In’am noticed and smiled, which made him laugh awkwardly and lift a hand to wipe a tear, at which point he heard a sob from Taehyung in front of him.
“Are they crying?” Jimin asked and looked over his shoulder and laughed through his own tears. The bridesmaids were fine, but the groomsmen were crumbling as In’am’s brother took a deep gasping breath amid a stream of tears. In’am’s father, a big burly man with a stern face at all times, coughed and then loudly blew his nose. It earned a laugh at least in the near vicinity.
“Why aren’t you crying yet?” Jimin jokingly asked his brother.
“I’m in shock she married you,” JImin’s brother answered and In’am laughed, Jimin laughed. Jungkook thought the laughter in the ceremony was one of the most important parts. The joy made the ceremony even more personal. Who cared that there were hundreds of semi-strangers watching you, if you could embrace laughter even in the height of an emotional moment like this? That’s the only way he’d ever make it through something formal like this. Only with someone he could laugh with.
Ahem.
The ceremony continued despite the brief pause. It felt simultaneously an eternity and too short.
Jimin and In’am walked back down the aisle to cheers. Jungkook escorted In’am’s sister back, trying not to make it obvious he was looking at Alex when he passed but May had a shit-eating smile anyway.
Jungkook was glad now that they’d already taken the wedding party photos and he didn’t have to roll right into that, but Jimin and In’am had some to take with their parents and immediately family so there was still a break before they’d do their grand entrance to the wedding party.
“Want to go sneak and say hello?” Taehyung asked with an elbow in his ribs.
“Double entrance?”
“You got something against DP?”
Jungkook snorted. How strange to not be in the gutter with Taehyung right now! The event organizer shouted after them not to wander off but Taehyung just kep walking; Jungkook promised her they were just going to get drinks and would be back before Jimin and In’am. She ran this thing with an iron fist and he was afraid of landing on the wrong side of her.
Jungkook would not have known where to go in the mob of guests moving from ceremony ballroom to the bigger reception room, but Taehyung seemed to know exactly where he was going. So Jungkook stuck close as they wound their way through the crowd, around the gloved waiters circling with hors d'oeuvres on silver platters, past the open bars opening under the judgmental glares of the contingent of In’am’s family who had lost the bid for a dry wedding. Jimin and In’am were pretending to pay for it so as not to start a war between the families but secretly it was Jimin’s parents who had insisted wines, beers, and champagnes must be available or it wasn’t a proper celebration.
Their group had curled around a standing table in the “mingling” area of the ballroom, packed in among big vases of more birch trees so that it was a bit dangerous to get anywhere without running face-first into a sharp stick.
Alex had her back to him, the table awkwardly high in front of her, which May seemed to be mocking her about. They all had drinks; Jungkook didn’t understand how they had escaped the ceremony hall so fast but his sense of time was all fucked up today. She had something in a martini glass and lifted it delicately from the too-high table but he couldn’t see her sip it. Even if she’d been facing him, he might have been too distracted by the way her burgundy dress clung to her body. Was that fucking velvet?! Her hair was down but curled, an unusual look for her; she always complained it didn’t hold curl and he wondered if she’d had it professionally done. She’d clearly dressed up. Damn, the dress was so fitted to her body–
On second thought, he grabbed Taehyung’s arm and said, “Hey, I’m going to get a drink, want anything?”
“Nah, line is too long.”
Jungkook didn’t care. Velvet, was she really wearing velvet? Had he seen that right? Did he care about velvet? Apparently he did.
He turned tail and ran towards the bar in the far corner, but Taehyung was right that the lines were too long and now he didn’t want to actually be gone that long. So when a waiter walked by with white wine on a tray, he took one of those and doubled back and this time made himself continue forward towards the cluster of his friends even as he felt his heart start to race.
Maybe joining the table next to Alex was a stupid move, but it was the natural entrypoint to the group, so he tried to keep his attention instead on May and Minxi. They looked fine, casual, but not really close so if you didn’t know they were girlfriends you might not guess it. Was that on purpose or were they just not big on PDA? This was the first time Minxi had brought May to something; he hadn’t been around to hear her introduce May as her girlfriend. He wondered what had been more surprising, the girlfriend or that the girlfriend was Alex’s sister–
Yeah, who cared about them. Alex looked up at him with a little squeak, because of course she did, he was suddenly right beside her, and when he looked down at her he did first notice that she was wearing makeup and looked really pretty nice, he noticed that first. Her eyelashes looked really big. But something else also big caught his eyes, right down the low v of her cleavage; she even had a gold necklace with lots of little dangly things to make sure your eye went right down the front of her dress. As if you wouldn’t notice it on your own.
“You look like plum wine,” he blurted out in an attempt to not say something worse. “Your eyelashes are nice.”
Alex stared for an eternity (one second) and then snorted right into a laugh. An Alex laugh. The most familiar laugh to him in the whole world and something inside of him healed just a smidge. She was laughing at him. Fuck, he’d missed her laughing at him. Endeared by the idiot she knew he was. Accepting of it.
Was he reading too much into a laugh? Maybe.
“Hey, babe, your eyelashes look great too,” May said to Minxi. “Best eyelashes in the room.”
“Yours are ok,” Minxi returned, to May’s gasp, and Alex explaining to Jungkook, “The best part of this whole coming out thing is watching someone finally give May the shit she deserves. Boys were always too afraid of her, it was boring.” She sounded so casual that for a second Jungkook could believe the last six months hadn’t ever happened. It was just Alex, the same Alex as before except really fucking fancy right now. Fancy Alex. He wanted to pet her. Old Jungkook would definitely have pet her like a dog and she’d have pushed him away probably and he’d have teased her because why did she wear a dress like that if she didn’t want people stroking her–
Damn, it was going to be really hard not to touch that dress. It was begging to be touched. Right down her back, right over her ass–
Alex caught his stair and grinned, “You like the sleeves?” She raised an arm and flapped it, showing how the fabric fluttered.
“Um… yeah, it’s nice.”
That seemed to have been the wrong answer; she glanced at him and looked a little sad, he thought? He couldn’t fucking tell. He couldn’t pretend to tell. Never in his life had he felt both so eager to understand what she was thinking and so hopelessly disconnected from her. Looks, gestures, words might all mean different things now than they used to. Or maybe they’d always meant different things than he’d understood because he’d always just been stupid and wrong and believed it was true when she would say for the hundredth time that obviously she was not in love with him.
A tray of food appeared briefly in front of them and Jungkook grabbed whatever it was without looking and popped it in his mouth. Chewing gave him an obvious excuse to not say something; now he worried he looked weird to be in a conversation with just these three instead of the whole table, like he’d specifically come here for Alex’s attention. He hadn’t! (He had.)
“For our wedding, I think we’ll give some people a Minus One,” Taehyung said, gesturing to Sabina, to whom he had proposed a week ago. “So like five people get to choose someone to disinvite from the wedding.”
Sabina covered her face and sighed, “You stole that joke from Twitter, babe…”
“What?! I would never!”
The awkwardness of it made everyone laugh but Taehyung didn’t look bothered at getting caught, just sipped the champagne Sabina must have already snagged for him. Namjoon booed Taehyung and then looked at something on Rebekah’s phone, and then nudged Yoongi’s shoulder to get him to look as well.
So Alex had been hanging out with Yoongi at the table. Maybe they’d even been sitting near each other at the ceremony. Jungkook hadn’t bothered to look for anyone but her. He glanced at her, curious how that had gone, if she was as bothered as she had expected to be to attend without a date… as she seemed to be missing… He scanned the room just in case Hoseok actually was here, just getting Alex a drink or something. But she already had a drink, which she lifted and sipped again. And spilled a little on her chest. Jungkook pretended not to notice as she dabbed at it with a cocktail napkin. He’d do it for free….
“Um, how’s work?” she asked. It took him a second to realize she was talking to him, but she had to be because Minxi and May were suddenly whispering about something else and then May dragged Minxi off towards something and it was just the two of them standing there now on this side of the table.
“Yeah. Uh, yeah, it’s good, it’s busy. Holiday season. How’s your um, phone plan working for you?”
She snickered, “It’s, you know, a little more expensive than I was paying before.” He smiled too and looked away.
“Yeah, well… it’s uh… sixteen full price frappuccinos a month?”
“Please tell me you aren’t drinking sixteen frappuccinos a month–”
“Without a discount? Are you insane?”
They shared a smile. Uncomfortable but trying. Namjoon and Taehyung laughed loudly at something and they both glanced over but Jungkook hadn’t heard what it was and didn’t really care.
“My brother had his baby,” Jungkook contributed, worried that because she had turned, Alex would say something to pull herself into that other conversation and free herself from him.
“Yeah, I know! He’s so little!”
“Oh, you knew?”
“I haven’t gone to see him yet but mom did and took a lot of pictures.”
“Yeah he’s really little… I mean, he doesn’t do much yet.”
“He’s like two weeks old,” Alex pointed out.
“Yeah, I know! But you said you hadn’t met him yet, so I just thought I’d uh, tell you.”
Alex was grinning and he felt like she might be laughing at him. Her question felt too polite, “Do you like being an uncle?”
“No, that’s what I’m saying, he doesn’t know I’m cool yet. He kind of just thinks I’m another person to puke on.”
“I was going to say you have to wait twenty-one years before you can be the cool uncle and puke together but you’ll be like fifty so maybe that’s not really the cool uncle anymore–”
“I won’t be fifty. I’ll be forty-seven, thanks,” he corrected. “Don’t age me up, old lady.”
“Listen here, when I was your age I was…” Her eyes rolled to the high ceiling as she pondered. “I don’t know, eating ice cream and ragging on my sister for dating my friend without telling me?” She always did that when he called her old, say whatever she’d been doing ‘when she was his age’ two weeks ago. Some things never changed apparently.
It gave him a dose of hope.
“Oh yeah. Yeah.”
“Heard you knew about that before me,” she prodded.
“Yeah but um… we weren’t talking and anyway I think that’s the kind of secret you keep… I’m actually really good at keeping secrets.”
“Yeah even from yourself I guess?”
“I… guess… yeah…” Was she jokingly referencing his feelings? Right here? Before they’d even drank alcohol?!
But he couldn’t be sure, because instead she asked, “How did you find out? She wouldn’t tell me.”
“Oh, I ran into her in a gay club.”
“Oh, you frequent gay clubs now?”
“Uh, not for me,” he quickly assured her. She looked like she wanted to ask more, but Taehyung leaned across the table and said, “Jimin called me, we gotta go back.” Which annoyed Jungkook because he was kinda in the middle of something– but obviously he had to go. Obviously his friend’s wedding was more important than him slowly thawing the ice between him and Alex. Obviously.
Maybe it was better. He didn’t feel on his game. He was flustered in a way he hadn’t expected, even though she was laughing at his jokes, but he wasn’t sure he really trusted it. Maybe she was just being polite. Or if she thought he was funny but just in the haha you’re my dopey friend way. Which he would accept, if that was it! If she just was going to ease back to being his friend again, all right! That was better than nothing! Maybe it had to be that because despite seducing a hundred women (ok it was nowhere near a hundred but a guy had a reputation to uphold), he didn’t have any real idea about how to seduce Alex.
Not that he was trying to seduce her! Or, well, sorta. If she was single. And into that. Into him. If she wanted to be seduced. By him.
Fuck, he felt so awkward because she just looked at him like she was waiting for him to say something –or, worse, waiting for him to fuck off! He couldn’t tell! Was he interfering–
Oh shit, was Alex here cruising to pick someone up?! A not him someone? That could explain the dress! She never wore something that long and form-hugging and tit-attention-grabbing! Ever!
But even if she’d been wearing a grocery bag, he’d probably be this nervous because A.) a grocery bag could rip and then she’d just be naked right in front of him and more honestly B.) for the first time in their lives she knew he was into her at the same time she might be single.
A cold ball of dread rotated in his gut as he followed Taehyung back to join the rest of the wedding party in front of the ceremony room again.
He didn’t appreciate it when Taehyung nudged him, “Eh?”
“Eh what?”
“You two looked like dweeby college kids checking each other out at a party.”
“Shut up,” Jungkook scoffed and shoved his shoulder but it just made Taehyung laugh and Jungkook wished Taehyung knew something he didn’t. Like his friend was comfortable teasing him because he already knew things would work out ok. Jungkook didn’t know that. He didn’t know fucking anything right now except that Alex looked really pretty and he wanted to pet her dress.
On second thought, he asked, “She broke up with Hoseok, right?”
“I don’t know, I wasn’t there, you should ask her.”
Jungkook narrowed his eyes at Taehyung’s smug grin. But still, it made him a little hopeful, because yeah, he didn’t think Taehyung would be teasing about that if he knew for sure Jungkook had no chance. Though why Taehyung would know if Jungkook had a chance escaped him, so probably Taehyung was just being a smug shit because his love life was already settled. Lucky him.
“Why did you call us back so soon?” Jungkook asked as they reached Jimin and In’am.
“She wants some more pictures,” Jimin tattled.
“He wants some more pictures,” In’am corrected and Jimin’s shit-eating grin made that clearly the truth.
Taehyung joked, “Yeah you pulled us away just as Jungkook was starting to twirl his hair and flutter his eyelashes at–”
“Fuck off, I was not.”
“Language,” In’am scolded, tossing her head towards her younger sister, who rolled her eyes nearly out of her skull.
“I know how to say ‘fuck’, In’am.”
“You better not!”
Jimin just backhanded Jungkook playfully in the stomach and suggested, “Hey maybe don’t wait so long this time? Someone might move in.”
“Yeah, I know, she looks really nice tonight.”
“So tell her that–”
“Hey I don’t need anyone’s help seducing anyone,” he lied. “I don’t need the advice of anyone here–”
“Ah, I didn’t realize you were just going for quick seduction. I thought you were wanting more longterm, like uh…” Jimin playfully gestured between himself and Taehyung, and Jungkook got the message. The married guy. The engaged guy.
He just scoffed, “Focus on your own wedding, my man, you haven’t even made it through the dinner yet.”
“OK but we are legally married so we could just run away if we want to,” In’am suggested, which made Jimin laugh and wrap his arms around her.
“We’re not running away.” At her frown, he grew a little more serious and said, “Well, if you need to, signal to me and we’ll go.”
“Yeah?”
“Promise.”
It was kinda fucking romantic and Jungkook felt like maybe he should be taking notes…
The music started down the hall and even though he knew it was coming, it startled Jungkook out of his fluster about Alex. Various drums and a horn started first, and he could see the saxophonist though not hear it over the pounding of the drums. He wondered if hotel guests could hear this all the way into the main reception area and would wonder what was going on, though it felt obvious to him something joyous was happening.
A woman’s voice ululated, the distinct sound instantly capturing Jungkook’s attention as she beckoned them all to follow her down the center of the musicians towards the reception hall as four belly dancers took up place ahead of her to lead the way. Their costumes were sparse and shiny and tasseled and the way they moved their bodies was mesmerizing. They were working, probably off limits to a scoundrel like him, but maybe in another timeline Jungkook would have tried his luck with one of them. Probably one of the younger ones but hey, the two older ones might be cool too.
But tonight Jungkook’s thoughts were held by one woman in particular, and the suggestion of the same softer, fonder, longer-lasting thing that glowed in Jimin’s and In’am’s faces. She looked like a queen again as she began to slow dance forward, swaying, moving her arms, flower bouquet raised like a beacon. Beside her, Jimin looked like a fucker in love, eyes all sparkly, what you could see of them above his wide, besotted grin as he held In’am’s other hand and danced with her along the procession. It helped that Jimin had always been a good dancer with a natural grace. He looked right at home with In’am in this procession, surrounded by voices singing in a language Jungkook couldn’t understand.
Taehyung shrugged and grinned at Jungkook as they doubled up with the bridesmaids again to follow, but the movement was slow, and there was nothing so formal as holding hands or dancing in doubles. Everyone roamed this way and that along the slow progress, joining the singing or shouting at times. The music moved through his arms and legs, so Jungkook felt pretty in tune with it –only for a moment did he feel self conscious when they entered the reception hall with all the music and shouting and dancing and he immediately spotted Alex, right where he’d left her, watching the whole thing.
She turned away when she saw him, but it was just to take Rebekah’s hand and dance with her, like most of the guests were doing. In a way it made him feel like they were dancing together. At least they were in the same party, the same celebration. Did she think this was cool? Would she want this much noise and attention made about–
OK, he was not going to think about Alex and weddings before he’d even gotten to really talk to her! Besides, he didn’t think she would want that much attention. But maybe she did? Turned out there were a lot of things he didn’t know.
Well, he’d know long before they got to that point. If they got to that point! Oh god, marriage?! He just wanted to rub her velvet ass!
Ok, no, he wanted more than that. A lot more than that. Inclusive of that.
Thank god the drums were loud enough to drown out his panic again. He had an image to uphold. Just because he was nervous seeing Alex again for the first time in so long didn’t mean he needed to get ahead of himself. Step one was just to convince her to let him back into her life. That was the goal for this evening. Be Alex and JK: Friends Forever again.
*
Alex had prepared to feel bad for Jungkook and Taehyung that they’d be stuck sitting up at tables near the front, but then it turned out they were at the same table as her after all. Not next to her though; her seat had her between Namjoon and Sabina. She wondered if that was reflective of when she and Jungkook had not been talking. They’d separated them. And sure they could have just ignored the seating chart but for some reason no one did. They sat at their assigned seats at their round table and fidgeted with the water glasses and silverware and little cardstock nametags. They caused a ruckus at their table as they got situated with their drinks and appetizers, fighting over whose knife was whose, and damn it felt good to be back among her friends, even if her dumb sister was there too. They cheered the loudest at Taehyung’s best man speech, and the additions Jungkook made when he crashed it, that set both of them and Jimin off crying just like they had in the ceremony.
Jungkook looked so cute when he cried. His nose and eyes got so red and his pout gained strength. The contrast of it was just so funny because he obviously looked handsome as shit in his tuxedo but then his little baby eyes were flooding his pout like he hadn’t got the color milk cup he wanted.
Damn he cleaned up well. So well. So well he looked like he belonged in this kind of high-dollar, elegant, sophisticated world that Jimin and In’am had invited them into for their wedding. Alex had known In’am came from money but she did not realize Jimin did as well, and honestly the whole wedding was fucking bonkers. Alex had felt overdressed until she got here and now worried she was underdressed. Her dress was simple, floor-length, a-line, faux-wrap, flutter sleeves, honestly the fanciest fucking thing she’d ever worn, but not elaborate the way so many of the other women were dressed with their bright colors and sparkling jewels. There was so much gold in this room right now but her only gold was the little necklace her mom had given her for her birthday a few years ago and earrings she had borrowed from May. Her dress wasn’t actually an expensive one. She’d taken a chance on one of those online websites that seemed too good to be true, but the thing had fucking delivered. She felt pretty.
Pretty enough to get noticed? Maybe so…
Maybe it was just the glow carrying over from In’am’s henna night, which she had danced her face off at, and stayed up all night talking with more of In’am’s friends and sisters and cousins than she had met before, and just basked in the joy and love and cultural tradition. It made her a little sad her own family wasn’t more traditional. She’d said as much to her mom, who had threatened to whack her with the newspaper after apparently complaining a little too much growing up about the ways in which they were. But Egyptian traditions were so cool! Her mom had whacked her on the arm.
She just found the wedding magical and overwhelming, way more than she had expected to, since her visibility into the planning of it had been all the stress and drama. She hadn’t understood the true scale of it, even after the engagement party. The one where she had asked Jungkook to come as her date and he’d so emphatically turned her down.
And here he was, dateless, just like he had wanted.
And here she was dateless too, but actually it wasn’t so bad. It left her free to snicker into her napkin every time Namjoon made a quiet, bitter comment under his breath during the speeches that accompanied dinner. He wasn’t serious; clearly he was doing it for laughs, and it was working, earning him lots of laughs from her and Rebekah on his other side and Yoongi on the other side of her. Yoongi who was oddly here without his fiance.
Ok, maybe Alex was exaggerating her laughter a little. Because Jungkook kept glancing over when she laughed, and also she just wanted to be clear to everyone that she didn’t have a date because of her own choice. She’d had a wonderful boyfriend who had been fully prepared to escort her to this wedding.
And then she’d dumped him in the airport. Not her best moment. But so it happened, and now she was single at this wedding.
And here was Jungkook too, without a date, not yet latched onto anyone else.
She didn’t want to seem as pathetically eager for his attention as she was. She leaned on her friends for strength. It led her to do other stupid things besides laughing too loud and drinking too much champaign too early in the evening and accidentally, in a moment of messing around with Namjoon, flinging a spoonful of rice onto the floor. Not her fault! Namjoon’s! He seemed unusually playful too. It was his fault.
She worried she was being too loud and annoying.
She needed to do something less obvious. Less desperate-seeming. Less Jungkook-attention-seeking.
So in a fit of bold stupidity, after a truly fascinating performance by the quartet of bellydancers who had led the procession in, when they ran through the tables passing out jingly scarves to encourage guests to come dance with them and Sabina grabbed Alex’s arm, she went. Why not? Get away from the table, away from trying not to make eye contact with Jungkook, look bold and brave and single ready to mingle just in case, you know, anyone was watching or something.
Alex tied a jingly scarf around her hips and attempted to bellydance in the middle of the dance floor.
“I can’t move my hips like this,” Alex giggled to Sabina, clutching her arm as the bellydancers tried to lead them.
“You can,” Sabina insisted, taking her arms so they danced facing each other, which helped Alex drown out the knowledge she was bellydancing in the middle of a wedding where most people were not. Granted, it was a crowd on the dancefloor doing this, and others were dancing at their tables, and she didn’t feel like there was really anyone paying attention to her but still. “Wiggle like you are getting fucked!”
The laughter from Alex was nearly a shout as she gave Sabina a playful shove, “That’s not right! That’s what you look like?” Despite Sabina’s elegance and beauty, these movements didn’t come natural to her either; she was sort of cute and stiff with her gyrations. Alex watched one of the bellydancers –who was actually very close to her own body type! That was cool!-- and tried to move her hips and shoulders the way the professionals did. All sizes could look good belly dancing. Theoretically.
She was sure it wasn’t working. But actually it was really fun and playful to try, and the jingle of the scarf did make her feel a little sexy about her attempts. And even if she looked silly, all right, who fucking cared? She didn’t have to dance to the beat or impress anyone, it wasn’t about that. This was new Alex, Alex 3.0, Alex who did what she wanted and enjoyed herself and celebrated the love of her friends unabashedly and tried new things with limited fear and didn’t give a shit what other people thought about her and what she wanted, Alex who went after the things she wanted in life. Alex who surrounded herself with people and things and goals that let her feel like enough.
Alex who was actually kind of digging this belly dancing thing. Maybe she should take a class or something? She was kind of feeling this! When the dancers moved through all of them and she found herself surrounded by happy, joyful, beautiful women, she felt that same tidal wave lifting her as she had at the henna night.
Yeah. This was going to be a good night. She could feel it through the drumbeat echoing in her bones.
Catch me if you can, she thought in Jungkook’s direction, trying not to look over at him. But also she wouldn’t make it hard. But also she wanted to feel the effort.
“I’m going to tie this on Namjoon,” Alex said to Sabina. “Let’s get everyone up now?”
“I refuse to give this to Tae, he will keep it!”
Alex wished she felt confident yet to go up to Jungkook and tie the scarf around him. Soon, she thought. I hope. She glanced at her phone as they sauntered back to the table. Barely 6pm. But not yet, she grinned, because the night was just beginning, and Alex had come dressed to party, so party she would.
“Namjoon! Dance!”
“Whaa? No… I’m finishing my food.”
“Get up, you oaf, your turn to shake your hips. It’s your friend’s wedding, don’t be a spoilsport.”
He sighed and stood up as if he didn’t have a choice. Most people were done eating now. The dinner music was still going as people finished their meals, but the belly dancing seemed to signal a transition to the dancing part of the evening.
“Hey, when’s the cake?” Taehyung asked. “I want to make Jimin laugh when he cuts it with the sword.”
Rebekah gave him a look and prodded, “Shouldn’t you know? Aren’t you one of the groomsmen running this thing?”
“Oh shit, no, they don’t tell us anything,” Taehyung laughed. “They just tell us to stand places, look pretty, and make sure Jimin doesn’t break his nose again.”
“It looks good, though, right? It healed nicely,” Jungkook quickly insisted.
“He feels guilty, it was his fault,” Yoongi explained to all with a snicker.
“It was not!”
Taehyung wrestled the scarf out of Sabina’s hands despite her protests and insisted as he shoved it against Jungkook’s scarf, “It was. Now dance your penance. Let’s see how many fish you catch.”
“Nah, man, I’m not fishing tonight,” Jungkook said with the air of a designated driver. Alex’s head tilted. What… did that mean? Was that good or bad? Related to her or not? Was he thinking of a +1 he didn’t get to bring or… had he sworn off sex or something?! This might complicate things…
May leaned around and stole the scarf and turned to Minxi with a gleam in her eyes, despite Minxi’s adamant shake of her head and announcement, “I don’t dance.”
“For me?”
“Privately.”
“Yeah, me too, I only dance privately these days,” Jungkook agreed as if their conversations were connected.
“Oh yeah? For who?” Taehyung demanded.
“You snails are too slow, I’m going to dance, goodbye!” Alex shouted, and grabbed Rebekah’s hand, and fled to the crowd of the dance floor to escape. Even though she’d eaten so much at dinner she felt like puking. Better not to do that right in front of Jungkook, yeah?
*
Jungkook had lost sight of Alex. Easy to do since she was so short. He ought to have tied a balloon to her wrist –a joke he had made many times over the years, at concerts and amusement parks. She had reacted about as you’d expected: offended but also demanding he buy her a balloon.
He sighed. After she’d run off to dance with Rebekah earlier, he’d had a hard time engineering their paths crossing. He’d try to dance near her and then she’d be gone for cake. He’d try to meet up with her for cake but she’d be getting a new drink. He’d try to grab wine from a tray to save her the line but then she’d be back on the dance floor. And then just as he’d get close to her, the damn event planner would be flagging him down for some other groomsman duty: joining a traditional dance, carting the gifts out to In’am’s brother’s car so he could take them home before anything got lost, helping Jimin’s grandmother out to her ride because she was ready to go home very early.
He was frustrated. The evening was rushing by and he wasn’t getting any time in Alex’s orbit. Everything was in the way. Everything was fucking interfering–
A hand touched his arm and then quickly pulled back; he stepped to the side, assuming someone was trying to squeeze past him to the dance floor he’d been surveying for any sight of her.
But it was Alex who looked up at him now from beneath the fringe of her hair.
“Hey,” he greeted, realizing he sounded more surprised than cool. He sounded like he’d been looking for her. He didn’t want to be that obvious.
“Hey, um… do you… want to dance? With me?” She blink at him, owlish in her ask. She shouldn’t be owlish. His heart thudded heavily in his chest at the question. No lead up. No prep. She’d just asked him outright. So straightforward. He would have fumbled for a while probably.
“Oh. Uh yeah, sure.”
“I still suck, just to be clear.”
“Ok–”
“I don’t want to mess up your game or anything–” She broke off when he touched her shoulder, nudging her to the dance floor. Her whole posture went rigid, like she was being marched to the principal’s office. Jungkook would have liked to reassure her but was too busy holding himself back from touching her more; he let his hand fall away from her shoulder in an attempt not to just wrap his arms around her and confess: whatever you want, yes, all you have to do is ask, I’ve been looking for you all night, don’t wander off again.
The anticipation of touching her again made him jumpy. When she suddenly turned and stopped, he plowed into her and grabbed her shoulders to keep them both from falling, which pulled them close together. Just as quickly they sprang apart.
He wasn’t prepared for her laugh, “You aren’t nearly as smooth as I always thought.”
“Shut up,” he grumbled. “I’m just nervous.”
“Bout what?” Her eyebrows lifted up behind her bangs. Teasing him. Taunting him. Fuck he had missed this.
“It looks like you don’t have eyebrows anymore.”
She huffed and swiped at them, brushing them to a slant so he could see a little more forehead and one eyebrow.
“There, better?” She lifted her hands to his shoulders, reaching high, but it felt too middleschool to him, even though he liked that it pulled her close. But shit in looking down at her face it was impossible not to be drawn deep into the line of her cleavage just beneath her chin, like the view was just perfect and he didn’t want that to show on his face, so he tugged her hand into his for a more proper dance position. He admired more than her tits, they were just so there tonight! Taunting him too! Everything about her taunted him tonight. Why had she worn this dress, damn!
The music was faster but they just swayed at their own pace, shuffling a little with each step. Jungkook focused at first on making sure he didn’t step on her toes or the hem of her dress or bump her into anyone else –anything to try and distract him from the reality he was dancing this close with Alex, that her body was very close to pressing against his and her hand was in his, until he could handle that knowledge. Her hand was sweaty but so was his so maybe she couldn’t tell about him.
“So…” Her lips pursed into a duck pout. He wanted to kiss her.
“Can’t believe you got bangs,” he teased. There. Easy. Simple. She’d always said bangs would make her look like a fifth grader.
Her smile was immediate, a little bashful as she admitted, “Yeah, it wasn’t a great decision but–”
“--I think they look nice–”
“Bangs are like the thing you do after a break up, I guess? It’s a rule. It’s in the handbook. I finally got my copy..”
“Ah.” Break up. Break up. She mentioned they broke up. She just put it out there. She just said it. “Um, I’m sorry to hear you uh–”
“Are you?”
“No,” he admitted. He was relieved she laughed too. Was it like Yoongi? He wanted to ask but didn’t. Just used his fingers on her back to pull her a little closer. “Sorry I wasn’t there to buy you ice cream this time.”
“It’s ok. Raincheck.”
“For… after your next breakup?”
“I hope not.”
His skin was tingling. He felt like she might be having a different conversation or he might be misunderstanding and reading too much into the things she said so he shut his mouth for a moment and just enjoyed swaying with her. He looked around at the other couples and groups dancing. It felt like they were in a different place, dancing to different music. There were loud groups of people still clustered around tables, some drinking, some just loudly talking. The dimmed overheads and fairy lights actually made everything feel a little like prom. And he was just here, drifting in the middle of it all. With Alex. Perfectly, finally at peace.
He realized his fingers were stroking the fabric at her shoulder and, to hide this gaf, said, “Your dress is really nice. Really soft.”
“You like it? I worried it was a little low cut but–”
“Nah, it’s perfect–”
“Might seem too aggressive.”
“Aggressive?”
“You know, like… too obvious.”
“Too obviously… hot?”
“Is that what you think it is?” she asked him, looking up, bangs hiding her brows again. They did make her look younger but it wasn’t a bad thing either way.
“Yeah, it’s hot as fuck.” Shit, maybe he shouldn’t have said that. “I mean, you look really pretty,” he hurried to add, even though that felt nauseatingly vulnerable for some reason. What, he couldn’t tell Alex she looked pretty? Yeah, he couldn’t. He always felt like a compliment like that to her would say too much. Show too much genuine interest. Or she wouldn’t believe him. Or she wouldn’t want that kind of attention from him.
“You clean up pretty nice,” she countered. “I liked your speech.”
“I liked your belly dancing–”
“Hey, be nice.”
“I’m serious!”
“You know I can’t dance.”
“I really liked it.”
“Are you being gross?” she demanded, a spark of their old relationship, and he felt great joy in admitting, “Yes.” But then worried it was too much, too quick, they hadn’t been comfortable in so long and corrected, “No, but I mean–”
“Uh huh.”
“Ah, Alex…” he sighed and didn’t know what else to say, just looked away and was grateful she was short so it was easy not to look in her face. He wondered if she’d know if he wiped his sweaty hand off on her dress. He was really sweating. It was going to soak through his shirt.
“I guess your– Anita hasn’t been keeping up with you?”
It was the most awkward and blatant fishing attempt he’d ever seen. Alex didn’t have grace for that kind of game, a thing he loved about her.
“Well, funny story–”
“That starts with a threesome?”
“What?”
“Ooh, are you starting to squirm?” she giggled, looking actually gleeful. “You’ll look like an asshole if you run away and leave me mid-song.” It was the second song but he didn’t point that out because obviously he wasn’t going anywhere.
“I’m not running away, I just– what are you–” His eyes narrowed. “Who’s been telling you what?”
“Just a little bird–”
“Aleeeeex,” he leaned a little closer to sound serious and insisted, “Just ask me what you want to know.”
“You aren’t dating Anita, right?”
He snorted, “No, I’m not dating Anita.” Her eyes looked so dark and sparkly when she looked up at him from this angle, and he thought she might be a little serious right now too. “I’m not dating anyone, if anyone wants to know.”
“Right, you don’t date.”
“I–”
“You don’t go to a party or a wedding with someone, but you always leave with one. Or two, if it’s your birthday!”
“Ok, that’s not quite what you think.”
“What do I think?” she asked, and duck-lip pouted again, and looked up at him with challenge. He started to feel nervous for other reasons now, like this was rocky and whatever this was might be about to break apart. He couldn’t tell if she was seriously amused or not because all these years he’d always thought she was amused but maybe she hadn’t been if she had secret romantic feelings for him. Actually maybe Alex was really good at hiding things from him.
“Are you mad?”
“No, you’re a free man to do whatever you want.”
“Our birthday party… ah,” he sighed, and looked away again and shuffled her to the side so they could move further from the speakers and hear each other better without having to talk so loudly anyone else could overhear. “I was really sad and got too drunk because you weren’t there. Maybe I did um… ask Anita and Seychelle to go home with me… I was drunk enough to shoot my shot.” He grimaced. “They took me home and put my drunkass right to bed and then fucked on our couch.”
“What?!” Alex gasped and pulled away and let out a cackle of a laugh. “No!”
“Yeah…. I guess I cried and then fell asleep in the car or something…” He hated admitting the pathetic truth but felt like maybe it was better that she understood ok, maybe he had tried to have a threesome on his birthday, but it was because he’d wanted something wild to soothe his broken heart, not because his feelings about her weren’t true.
“No, we said no sex on the couch!” she laughed and hit him on the arm as if he’d done the deed.
“Well I didn’t have sex on the couch! They did it without me!”
They were too loud and people looked over at them but her laughter was a relief.
“Oh my god that is so embarrassing for you… I was going to tease you about finally getting the threesome of your dreams but this is way better! I mean, not the part about you drunk crying, but…”
“Yeah yeah… as long as you’re happy about it…” he grumbled.
“But damn, Seashell’s really moving through our group, huh? What do you think, would she like me in this dress? She didn’t seem interested in me when I–”
She held her arms up in dance position again, a childish wordless request to resume dancing, and he nearly tripped in his haste, sliding into her space again.
“Don’t talk to Seashell,” he interrupted.
“Ahhh, are you jealous because she outfucked you?”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know, are you feeling competitive? She’s getting more sex than you from your own friends–”
“I don’t want sex with my friends,” he snorted. “Uh… most of them…” Shit, was it better to say that or not say that?
“I knew you and Taehyung were a little too close–”
“Alex,” he whined and laughed and pinched her shoulder. “Don’t spread rumors about me.”
“Yeah, I know, you hate attention, huh?” He scowled. She returned his stare. He loved her so deeply it made him want to laugh and slap his own face. How had he not understood what this feeling was in moments like this? Because these moments weren’t new.
She was the one to continue, “Well, I suspected you weren’t dating Anita, but I did think you got your threesome. I’m both relieved and sad for you.”
“Relieved, huh? Why, jealous? You were getting railed plenty–”
“Ok, let’s not quite say it like that,” she rolled her eyes.
“But would you be? Jealous?” he pressed, desperate for her to say yes.
She shrugged, “I don’t know. I had just turned you down.”
“Yeah. Broke my heart,” he joked though it wasn’t a joke.
She retaliated, “Besides, if I let myself get jealous every time you fucked a girl…”
“But did you? Feel that way every time?” The question was too serious. Oops. It had rolled off his tongue without him thinking it through. Before she could answer, he teased, “Whatever, I had a bunch of swings and misses in a row. And yet here you are, alone at the wedding you wanted a date for.”
Her voice had the same wistful, teasing tone to it when she added, ��Dancing badly with you in front of everyone even though you wanted to be left alone so you could find a bridesmaid to fuck.”
“Ah, shit, you really know how to punch a guy in the nuts.”
“I just said the truth!”
“No,” he insisted. “The truth is I’m right where I want to be right now.”
“That’s not what you said back then,” she sang. She was still trying to keep it light. He appreciated that. He could also appreciate there was some fair muscle behind these jabs as they circled each other and tried to suss out the updates, the truths, the right nows.
“Yeah, but I was an asshole back then,” he said. “I’m a changed man now.”
“Mm-hm.”
“Turns out I don’t like you leaving me alone.”
“Yeah,” she snorted. He wasn’t actually sure what she meant by that, but she was still in his arms and didn’t actually seem mad so he’d take it. Actually, what he didn’t want to say was that he was thrilled other people were seeing them dance together for going on a third song now. He was psyched that people passed them or glanced over at them and in their minds saw a more permanent connection between him and Alex, the kind that didn’t end with after a single song. Maybe they were thinking oh, they’re together, that’s cute. Maybe they were thinking damn that’s an attractive couple.
“Jungkook.”
“Yes,” he responded to the summons from his drifting thoughts. Her bangs had fallen down again and without thinking about it, he brushed them back to the side. She caught his hand and twisted the other so she had both hands in her grasp, commanding his attention.
“I broke up with my boyfriend two and a half weeks ago and I still feel kind of shitty about it.”
“Oh.”
“We don’t have to talk about it. It just sucks to know I wasn’t my best self and I was kind of selfish and shitty in the end and… it’s really embarrassing when someone sees the bad parts of you, you know?”
“Yeah. I know.”
“I mean, he was a great boyfriend. He did everything right and he was kind and thoughtful and–”
“Ok, I know. He was the best guy to ever walk the earth. I got it. I saw it–”
“Yeah and I keep breaking up with these great guys and just for…”
For me. Say for me, he pleaded in his mind. But the new song was louder and people started jumping behind her. He tugged her close and spun so she was on the outside of the dance floor, safe from being bumped or nudged. It was harder to hear though over the louder music. He leaned down to hear whatever she might say next but he must have leaned too close because she blinked at him in surprise.
And then she lifted onto her toes and took hold of his shoulders and kissed him. Rushed and clumsy, full of uncertainty, and obvious impulse . Her lips just pressed to his, hurried, without any plan.
It was the best kind of kiss Jungkook hadn’t even hoped for.
A kiss!
She kissed him!
He slid his arms quickly around her to keep her steady as she teetered, maybe trying to pull away too quickly.
Impulse kiss? He wouldn’t leave her wondering if it was welcome.
“Get back here,” he murmured and chased her mouth, the only action his brain could handle right now as bright lights and warmth flooded his consciousness. Soft, full, sweet-tasting glossy lips against his and he’d never felt so inexperienced in his life. Her hands pressed to either side of his neck, little electric shocks at every point of contact between their bodies, at the touch of her fingers, of her lips, of her nose squashed against his.
She pulled away and he couldn’t have said for his life how long the kiss lasted. An hour? A second? Someone jostled against his back but Alex was staring at his face as if searching for something so he remained rooted to the spot in case she was going to kiss him again.
No, she was really studying him, and it made him nervous now.
“What?” he asked, eyes narrowing to hide how naked that stare made him feel.
“No regrets? No puking? Did that feel like kissing your sister?”
He was shocked by her bluntness. God, he loved Alex’s bluntness. After so many months of the confusion and disappointment and feeling like a fucking idiot to have realized his own feelings too late and worrying he’d been hurting her all along if she had allegedly loved him for so long, the way she poked at the painful parts just felt so comforting and familiar. It brought the important things right into focus. They joked about things. They could joke. And he knew her well enough to see the serious part of the joke. Because they did know each other, they shared a language and an understanding that went way back, that was true even if they were still learning new things about each other and themselves.
“I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking about that, let me see again,” he said, and leaned in. There was a laugh in the kiss this time though; he swallowed her giggles as her fingers brushed his cheek, and she sort of curled away but not really. It was like the kiss tickled her but she didn’t actually want to escape, that’s what it was like. Her lips were slower this time, more comfortable against his, he thought. He kept his face near hers even though he had to hunch and admitted lowly, “I don’t have a sister but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t kiss one like this.”
“No? It seems to work in Game of Thrones–”
“Have you even watched that show?”
“No! I’m not paying for HBO!”
Jungkook started laughing and couldn’t stop. It was embarrassing but joy and relief just suddenly bubbled over and he couldn’t stop it. Kissing her left him giddy. High. He had no choice but to drag her in for a hug, or maybe she stepped closer on her own, and he just molded around her, tucking her into his body. So many months of brokenness and the absence of her and uncertainty about whether he’d ever even get to laugh with her again healed as she stepped right back into the Alex-shaped hole in his heart. He closed his eyes and let the wedding fade even further into the background and just existed in this moment with his cheek pressed to the top of her head.
“I really missed you,” he thought she said against his chest.
He let out a long, slow breath, and then, “I know.”
She laughed and punched him in the back, “‘I know?’ Ok Han Solo! That’s not what you say!”
“No, I did too! I mean I know because I did too!”
“Uh huh.”
He squeezed her so tight and breathed in the scent of her shampoo even though it was different than the one she used before and he wondered if that was permanent or temporary. He didn’t know. He still didn’t really know anything except that kissing her was a Good Thing.
Sometimes it was fun to joke but sometimes they needed to be serious, he was learning that, so he pulled away enough to cradle her face and kiss her forehead through her messy bangs and breathed, “I really missed you, Alex.”
Her hands circled his wrists and he felt the pressure of her leaning into the kiss. Another Good Thing.
Then she quickly leaned away and laughed, “Ok, well good, I’m glad you didn’t forget me.” All jokes again, her whole demeanor as though they hadn’t just shared the kind of kisses that changed everything about a day, a relationship, a life trajectory. Ah, fuck, he wanted to just brush the bangs back from her face and kiss her again and tickle her so she’d kick him and he could twist her around to protect himself and wrap her up tighter in his arms and whisper things at her ear to make her yell at him–
“Uh, I think we should go– to our friends over– um–” She grabbed his wrist and took off, weaving through the crowd of dancers. He didn’t even understand where they were going, still too flustered by his own thoughts, by the briefest glimpse of that roaring want for Alex that had cracked open now because she’d kissed him. On purpose. She had initiated all of that!
Did she regret it now? Was she trying to escape? But she was holding his wrist, dragging him along with her. If she was escaping, she was taking him too. That was cute.
Somehow despite the limits of her height, she found her way to the group of their friends dancing on the far side of the dance floor. They didn’t seem to think anything was off but Jungkook could feel Alex’s energy even from behind; she squeezed his wrist and released him, walked straight through their group, and made a beeline for the open bar.
Halfway there she stopped and turned and caught his eye –easily because he’d been watching her still, trying to decide if she was fleeing a mistake or just feeling as overwhelmed as he was right now. She pointed at the bar and at him, a question on her face. He nodded and shrugged to answer that he knew she’d think next what do you want? Should he go with her? Probably, right? Or he should offer to get the drinks?
But she wanted a breath, he felt like that was true. She’d fled, but not completely, just for a moment.
Ah, had he kissed her really good? He grinned at the possibility that he was better at it than she’d expected. Wait, had she doubted him?! That hadn’t even been his best. He would kiss her breathless next time, until he felt her wobbling in his arms. He’d kiss her until she gasped or moaned or whimpered –which kind of noise would she make? He’d find out!
Though in fairness, she was way way way better at kissing than he had expected. Way better. Wow. Damn. He hadn’t expected Alex to give the kind of kisses that lingered on your lips for this long; he could still feel the tingles. It all felt a little fake with her gone and it wasn’t like he understood all that had just happened but at least it seemed like Alex was back in his life and he was along for whatever that ride was. Apparently it would involve kisses.
Single. Single Alex. Only a couple weeks single so maybe she wasn’t wanting to jump right into something. Ok. Ok, but she had kissed him so… he was on her mind. That was a good place to be. Hands on her body was good. Lips on hers was good–
Fuck, he was grinning too big and his friends were looking at him suspiciously. He knew that look, like they thought he’d wandered off and fucked someone in a closet. This was better!
His dance moves weren’t cool, they were mindless and distracted. He couldn’t help it. He let the joy run through his body, braided with nerves, anticipation of whatever was to come with Alex. He had no fucking clue! But maybe something! Maybe? Unless he’d scared her off?
She came back with drinks –plum wine for them each. He felt his ego swell when she handed him his glass. She was going to taste so good to kiss again– he choked on a too-big gulp of his wine as she slid past him, her own wine glass in hand, and leapt into the center of their friends with a shout. All bright, happy, fun Alex. Alex letting loose. Alex who caught his gaze again because he didn’t want to look anywhere but her and then covered her face and turned shyly away.
Shit he loved her a lot, and it didn’t feel painful anymore. Just warm and eager and hopeful. Was he making her shy? Should he flirt with her and see if he could make her really shy?
He knocked back the rest of his wine, too fast, so he’d have his hands free as he rejoined the circle of his friends to show off his own moves. If their friends noticed anything different about either one of them… so what?
***
Well shit. Shit shit shit. Shit fucking shit.
Alex’s plans were derailed almost as soon as she’d set them into motion.
Because what the fuck was up with that forehead kiss? And the way he’d pulled her into his arms and just held her?
Fuck!
And the way he’d kissed her, all soft lips and gentle hands and this little rushed warm breath that she’d felt more than heard because of the loud music.
Why was he so earnest suddenly? So different? It was terrifying! What if Jungkook was actually a very sweet, loving, sincere boyfriend?! Obviously that didn’t come from experience, what if that was just who he was when it came down to it? Would she actually be surprised? But he’d just been such a fuckboy for so long…
She just hadn’t expected the warmth. She hadn’t expected him to be so serious. She hadn’t expected to get so instantly wrapped up in him and so yeah, she needed some air, and some wine, and then some more air, and then some running around with just Rebekah, avoiding her sister who would probably say something just to set her off, and Jungkook off at a safe distance.
She was afraid Jungkook would kiss her again. She was afraid he’d ask her a blunt question she wasn’t ready to answer yet. She was afraid he wouldn’t ask her anything at all and she’d be disappointed.
She just needed to figure out a few things first. She’d had a couple weeks now both to process the sadness about ending her relationship with Hoseok and think honestly about what she needed before attempting anything more with Jungkook: She needed some answers she could be sure weren’t lies. She needed to see if the feelings were there and authentic –not just companionship and comfort and familiarity, but romance, desire. Lust.
She just wanted to be lusted after, ok? Specifically by Jungkook.
She wanted a sense of how hard she’d have to work to shape her previous friendship with Jungkook into something that more resembled the kind of relationship she wanted with a romantic partner.
And yeah she had not expected kisses like that, just right there in front of everyone! Her kiss had been impulsive but he’d pushed it further! Good luck fucking a bridesmaid now! (hehe) And she had not expected him to just hold her like that. Or sweetly kiss her forehead.
Fuck, she was melting and they hadn’t even talked about whether there was the possibility of something between them. Her plans were wavering –because yes, she’d come with plans. She’d dressed for plans. She had really uncomfortable underwear on for plans!
“Ah, my handsome sexy man,” Sabina cooed, spotting Taehyung across the ballroom. It was getting late, though the party was still going in full swing. Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin had their hands on each other's shoulders, dancing in a little circle, kicking their feet. After a moment, she realized Jimin wasn’t actually on the ground; Taehyung and Jungkook were holding him up. It was ridiculous. They were so ridiculous. But hearing Sabina so affectionately claim Taehyung, Alex felt that tug in her chest towards Jungkook. My handsome sexy man?
No. That couldn’t be right. It sounded impossible that she could ever claim Jungkook as hers. Well, in a way she’d always claimed him as hers, while also knowing that possessiveness she felt about him wasn’t an actual romantic claim. She’d never been an option. When all eyes in the room noticed him, his scanned for the hottest woman around and off he went with her, and that woman was never Alex.
“Let’s go dance again,” Sabina suggested, grabbing Alex’s arm. The woman had eternal stamina. Alex’s own was flagging, and she cast about for Rebekah to hold her back, but her traitor friend had wandered off somewhere else. The roadbump of her own sulky thoughts prickled her skin as she and Sabina drew closer –as she saw a woman lean in close to ask Jungkook something and he laughed and waved her off. Had it been a proposition?! Just out of the blue! Probably, right? Jungkook was that kind of hot…
See, the jealousy was going to be a problem. If Alex didn’t have confidence, if she didn’t feel like she could trust Jungkook’s attention was sincere, it wasn’t going to work, and that was part of the test. She was tired of being jealous.
He yawned, and then saw her and covered his mouth, nodding his head as he tried to laugh at himself. She had to yell to be heard over the music as she got close,
“Long day?”
“I’m rallying,” he said, sliding his hand around to her back. It felt… assertive? Possessive? Predatory? But in a good way, attentive, like–
Like he was putting on moves and she was the target.
She leaned into that same energy, or tried to, and slid her hand up to his chest as she asked, “Care for another dance?”
“You like dancing with me, huh?” he grinned. She must have seemed as cool as she didn’t feel on the inside. She nodded. He didn’t even look back at their friends as he tugged her a few steps away and against him, sliding his fingers up her arm to take her hand in his. It was so casually, familiarly done, as if they’d been dancing together like this for years. He just seemed so cool about it all, much cooler than earlier.
“Are you drunk?” she guessed.
“Me? No. Are you?”
“Nope.”
He began to lead her in steps, just small, easy, totally off beat at first but a slower song started and it was easier to move at that pace. She kept looking up at him and then away, embarrassed to make eye contact, afraid he’d read her plan too easily.
Alex was going to see if he’d take her home and have sex with her.
Because she’d know right away this last part that she wasn’t so sure about: can he desire me? Or am I just a challenge, a novelty, and he’ll be done with me once he’s gotten what he wants?
Right now, he was single and hot and in a position of visibility at this wedding. There were tons of gorgeous women here. If he didn’t want to take her home from a public place where hot women would see them leave together, well that was that then. And she’d be taking a piece of advice from Jungkook’s own book, right? Have sex early, see if he means it.
Was it good advice? Bad? Honestly, that didn’t matter. Maybe it was a stupid idea. Could Jungkook be with her even when she did dumb things? Could she be embarrassingly herself with him? Could she feel comfortable admitting this insecurity to him and feel genuinely reassured, if he wanted her to be?
But also.
But also: Could Alex be the woman Jungkook Jeon chose to take him with him? Could he want to fuck her?
He was smiling about something, she noticed. She didn’t ask but he leaned down closer to her ear and mused,
“You’re thinking really hard about something.”
“Maybe.”
“What’s up? What are you so serious about? It doesn’t matter if we get off beat–”
“No, not that.”
“Ok.”
She hesitated. No, it was pathetic. The rejection would be brutal. She shouldn’t say anything, she should just enjoy whatever dances she could have with him. Maybe she could steal another kiss later. That was still progress. That was still incredible. This wedding was magical and over the top and exhausting and she could carry away those precious moments they had together earlier as her souvenir and figure out the rest another day. Or maybe he’d ask her later to go home with him? That’s what she really would have preferred… but what if he didn’t? She did realize he might not, just out of kindness or respect, even if he wanted to. He might be trying to keep giving her the space she had asked him for months ago, even though he knew she was single now, even though she’d kissed him.
“Alex, what is it?” he asked, and this time brushed her hair back over her shoulder. The feathery touch and the soft gesture made her shudder.
Ok but… couldn’t she be the girl who got railed after a wedding for once? Couldn’t the hottest guy here take her home? This hot guy? Who kept looking at her so closely and smelled so nice and had his hands firm against her back and around her fingers?
Fuck, he was so beautiful to look at. She’d kissed him now and she wanted more. She wanted him. She wanted him to want her. She wanted so badly for this specific dream to come true, tonight, and worried she had only set herself up for failure. The want left her breathless. It seemed impossible they’d already kissed, and even more impossible they’d ever kiss again.
Could he ever feel this way when he looked at her?
In a poor attempt at self restraint, she avoided blurting out will you take me home and fuck me, substituted instead for the almost worse request,
“Will you kiss me here?” Followed by her hand lifting off his arm and tapping the side of her neck.
Fucking hell, what had gotten into her?!
And worst/best/worst of all, he did it. He didn’t even ask what the fuck she was on about. Without any hesitation, he leaned all the way down to press his warm mouth against the skin she had tapped. His lips lingered. In all seriousness, Alex felt like she nearly orgasmed alongside the full body shudder that such a blatantly intimate gesture caused. Thank fuck the music was too loud for him to hear the noise that stuck in her throat. She shivered and shirked her shoulders, squirming at the pure overload of pleasure, too much, too too much, it was so ticklish she’d scream, but the kind of too much you kind of wanted more of.
Instead of pulling away when she scrunched her shoulders, his arms just wrapped tightly around her and he chuckled against that sensitive skin and murmured criminally close to her ear, “Yeah, I thought that would be too much, you’re so ticklish.”
Damn he knew her so well.
And since his face was right there anyway, she turned hers, seeking his mouth. He seemed to realize immediately what she wanted because she didn’t have to ask. He brushed her hair back again, wringing another shiver from her that she tried to hide behind running her hands up his chest.
But shit, they were in public! The kiss had only just started but Alex suddenly felt like they were getting wildly out of control and pulled away. Jungkook looked confused and it embarrassed her, the way she ached. So quickly! Tonight was the first night she’d seen him in so long, since the arcade really –but memories of that night at the arcade fed the ache, they didn’t soothe it even a little.
“You’re not drunk?” he asked, brushing his hands against her face like he was checking for a fever.
“I’m not,” she huffed and brushed his hand defensively away. “I just…” She stared at him. He stared at her. Celebratory shouts somewhere else startled her and his small smile couldn’t be anything but endeared.
But suddenly his face took a serious look again and he leaned close, hand firm but careful on her arm as he insisted, “There’s nothing to be worried about with me, ok? I know you uh… you know how I feel about you. And I don’t know if you um– but I know you just broke up with your boyfriend and maybe you need time before you can think about what you want with me– if you even want anything! And that’s ok too, so don’t worry, I’m not going to pressure you for answers or–”
“I want to go home with you.”
“Huh?” His lips didn’t even part for the noise of surprise but his eyebrows went up and his eyes got wide.
Well shit that didn’t sound cool.
“I want…” God, it wasn’t even a test at this point. She saw what she wanted clearly. “I want to be the girl you take home from the wedding.”
“I’m not taking anyone home–”
“I want you to choose me,” she said. “I want you to take me home with you tonight.”
“Take you home with me and…” She couldn’t tell if he was in disbelief, or horrified, or genuinely not following what she was asking for.
“Take me home and fuck me, Jungkook, that’s what I mean–”
“Jesus, Alex–”
The sharp pain she felt in that moment stole her breath. She was so proud of herself for being bold and direct about what she wanted but his response felt like a rejection and she knew she sounded far less cool as she admitted,
“I thought you said you want that with me–”
“Oh, I do,” he said with an unexpected chuckle. “I do want to do that but I want more than that with you, Alex, and I don’t want to ruin the chance of more just because I got horny and impatient–”
“No, but I asked you to.”
“I know but–”
“Ok,” she said, and made to step back because this was mortifying. He caught hold of her quickly, pulling her close and saying near her ear,
“Please don’t look like that, it’s not that I don’t–”
“It’s ok if you don’t want–”
“Alex I can’t say the things I want to do to you because it’ll freak you out and I won’t risk my chance with you when I’m not even sure yet that you’re giving me a chance and we’re at this nice wedding and people will overhear and I’ll get kicked out and Jimin will never forgive me.” She could feel his lips brushing the edge of her ear as he spoke, his warm breath ghosting across the shell of her ear and the side of her neck. She felt completely consumed by him for just a moment, just like she wanted. His hands tightened on her body. She felt the intensity in his words. “Trust me, the way you look tonight is driving me fucking crazy and if you weren’t you I’d already have you over– but not because I don’t want you like that–” Obvious panic broke through the sexual heat of what he was saying as he overthought his own words. Alex hadn’t even been thinking he meant that. She was having a hard time breathing as all the blood rushed down her body and her heartbeat pounded painfully between her legs.
She kissed him, afraid she’d say something pathetic. She just wanted him to touch her right now. She’d take the closet or the backseat of the car or whatever, no wonder Jungkook got any woman he wanted saying things like this in that way, his gaze so dark and sparkly like that. She felt wild with want. And he was looking at her like that, which felt wild too. She felt like they were practically fucking on the dance floor, just right in front of everyone, standing so still and wrapped around and whispering to each other like this, lost in each other. Someone was going to complain about public indecency and kick them out.
“You’d already have me what? What would you do if I wasn’t me?” she prodded, keeping her face hidden by his shoulder so she could try and catch his breath. What had she been thinking, asking a question like that to try and catch her breath to?
“I want more than that with you.”
“More than what?”
“More than…” She felt him lick his lips. “More than finding some coat closet and dragging that dress of yours up and– don’t ask me these questions, it’s mean.”
“Why is it mean?!”
“Yah, you’re driving me crazy. We’re at a wedding, in front of everyone, our friends are looking for us–”
“Oh, you’re feeling shy?” she teased.
Instead of laughing, he paused before pulling away to look into her face as he admitted, “I want more than a wedding night one night stand with you but is that all you want from me?”
Fuck. What a tragic question. She saw it all written there on his face. He might as well have thrown a bucket of ice water over her head.
“I want both,” she answered as honestly as she could. “I want you to want to take me home for the night and do all those crazy things to me that have the instagram girls lining up to suck your dick and I want to wake up in your shirt the next morning and kick you in the butt until you make me breakfast and–”
“I want that too,” he said and took hold of her arms. “I want all of that too, Alex. I want all of that with you too. Everything we had before but also with the fucking and sucking and–”
“Seriously with your mouth?” she started to laugh. Because Jesus he was such a fuckboy with that mouth of his! He started laughing too and they curled together and she could still feel her heart pounding in various places throughout her body but she could breathe through it now, relieved that he was not actually rejecting her yet. The deepest sigh of relief rushed out but she wasn’t actually sure if it came from her body or his.
He was trying to be sweet. And thoughtful. And careful.
And now this confession was out in the open, in the very small space between their bodies.
In that moment, it was impossible not to look at his behavior, how he had been in the last few months, and not see how clearly different he had always treated her compared to other women as a good thing. This wasn’t the thought or effort or emotion he put into those women. This wasn’t a desperate grab for controlling a co-dependent friend’s time. This was a side of Jungkook he was showing only to her, that she had always seen some element of. Alex was special to him. She felt special to him.
Test passed. Even without the fucking.
“Ok,” she said. “I won’t sexually harass you anymore–”
“Wait no!”
“I mean I won’t pressure you into taking me home, just because it was my fantasy–”
“Wait no,” he said again, grinning at her giggles as he took her hands. “What do you mean it was your fantasy?”
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the music!”
“Alex!”
She began to walk away and he, as she had predicted, dove after her, and wrapped his arms around her in a burst of old playful closeness. He laughed at her shoulder, forearms digging into her stomach, and while she noticed the softness, she didn’t feel self conscious about it at all.
Jungkook wanted to fuck her in a coat closet. Her. That was cool. He wasn’t doing it but he said he wanted to, and instead he was wrestling with her on the dance floor in the middle of a very expensive wedding, so that still counted for something.
“Ok ok ok you two,” Namjoon said, clapping his hands. “You’re making the grandmas clutch their pearls.”
Alex escaped from Jungkook’s grasp with a victory shout and spun a circle around Namjoon. As if he’d actually read her mind, Jungkook caged Namjoon in on the other side and they both started to grind and booty-bump their much taller friend.
“Hey. Guys. Guys! Ok, very funny!” He looked like he was going to flee this embarrassing display, but suddenly In’am and Jimin ran up to join and it wasn’t like Namjoon could flee them, they were the guests of honor!
Alex just felt so happy and free. When she caught Jungkook’s eye as he danced and laughed and rough-housed with his friends, she felt like a connection she had always depended on too much was in fact now real and safe and recognized. It wasn’t like they were even a thing yet but they were going to be, right? That’s what all this meant? That had just been a confession, right? They both wanted each other and short of giving it a try and realizing they were very wrong or very incompatible or something right away–
He wouldn’t let her down. Probably they’d both fuck up a lot but yeah, that’s how it went, right? If he kept crinkling his nose at her like that though she could forgive a lot of fuck ups.
Rebekah nudged her arm and wiggled her eyebrows. Just that was enough to make Alex cover her face, overwhelmed and embarrassing and giddy. She shirked her shoulders and held her hands out and grimaced.
“Good for you,” Rebekah smiled and flung her arm around Alex’s shoulder. “He better treat you right.”
“What!”
“You heard me. I may not seem like much but I can fight–”
“Rebekahhhh, are you drunk?” Alex giggled.
“A little bit.”
“Thanks for telling me things even if you weren’t sure if I’d want to hear them. I appreciate your honesty.”
“Oh yes, uh huh. I’m a pretty good friend.”
“And thanks for not trying to fuck my best friend.”
“Well, to be fair, he wouldn’t have gone for it anyway,” Rebekah admitted.
“No, that’s not true! You’re a vixen! The only thing that kept him safe was your loyalty to me, I know that–”
“Yes, that’s it! I barely even noticed he was hot.”
“I think you’re hanging out with May and Minxi too much, you get sassy when you drink now,” Alex laughed, swinging her around. Actually, the past six months had given her the chance to get closer with Rebekah too. There were lots of good things happening in her life. She was very loving and grateful for everything right now.
“Thanks for reminding me I’m still single.”
“Hey, I am too!”
“For like fifteen more minutes.”
Alex just laughed because she didn’t know what else to say. No, that wasn’t it. They weren’t talking about that! Yet! Damn, she felt drunk, but the only thing she knew to do to comfort Rebekah was dance until her friend was laughing again. Did she know anyone she could introduce Rebekah to? No, she’d be a terrible matchmaker. Wait, but Jungkook knew so many people. Ok. A nice little project for them to do together…
Alex glanced over and happened to notice Yoongi sitting at the table by himself, gaze trained on his phone. This was notable for several reasons. The first of course being that Alex had initially been so worried about showing up dateless to a wedding Yoongi would be at and now instead she didn’t care at all, but Yoongi had also shown up dateless and allegedly fiance-less now. The second being, if he was so bored, why was he still here?
She needed a break from the dancing and the noise and the whirlwind of emotions that wrapped her and Jungkook up everytime they were on the dance floor, so she wove her way through the chairs and collapsed in the seat beside Yoongi.
“Hey.”
“Oh, hey,” he greeted and lowered his phone. Then jerked his head towards the dancefloor and joked, “Good to see some progress after… how many years has it been?”
“Aish, come on,” she laughed.
“Never knew you could be so handsy but I guess it just had to be with the right guy,” he added. There was nothing mean or hurt in his voice though, more just relaxed. Teasing. Casual.
She nodded and shrugged, “Maybe. Maybe I’m just affected by the wedding. What’s gong on with you lately? Heard you’re around a lot more these days.”
“That a problem?”
“For me? No, of course not. We’re cool. I mean, you’re the one who might still be pining over me–”
“Nah, I’m over it.”
“Ok you could act a little more nostalgic for me,” she laughed.
“Sorry. Guess I’m a little…” He just waved his hand, a meaningless gesture.
Her sympathy was sincere as she offered, “Yeah, I heard you went through a recent breakup too but… bigger magnitude. Engaged.”
“Yeah, I’m aware.”
“Sorry,” she grimaced. Maybe she shouldn’t have repeated what Sabina told her.
“Eh. It was mutual, I guess. You know… sometimes other people can put a name on your feelings before you can do it yourself, you know?”
Her eyes narrowed as she said slowly, “.... Yes…” She followed his line of sight, easy to trace: to Namjoon. “Oh my god,” she gasped and grabbed his arm. “Are you in love with Namjoon?! Does he know?!”
“Raquel sure thought so.”
“And was she wrong?”
“You and Jungkook boyfriend-girlfriend now?”
“Hey now.”
Yoongi snickered, “Yeah, maybe we’ll trade answers someday.”
“Maybe tomorrow morning? See you at breakfast?” Alex giggled. She wasn’t even embarrassed by her bawdry joke; she laughed at Yoongi’s surprised face. “Come on, that was objectively funny.”
“Eh.”
“It was! Me? With that kind of an ego? Us, exes, winding up with roommates? Oooh that would be so good, you’re such a good cook, just like Seokjin was–”
“Goodbye, Alex,” he said bluntly, but he was laughing at his phone as she stood up and looked around, feeling all her energy restored. Ready for another round of wedding. She could go all night at this rate. This was fun! Even unexpected closure and friendliness with Yoongi? What a great fucking night!
*
Where was Alex? Refrain of his night. If she wasn’t right against him, Jungkook was looking for her. He wanted to know where she was. He wanted to be able to reach her at any moment. Every kiss, every dance, every touch left him desperate for more.
The relief that came from being able to ground himself with her again was shockingly normal. He’d expected to feel awkward with her longer. A little nervous still, sure. But for all the anticipation he’d felt in the last few months at the thought of interacting with the girl he had a crush on, that girl was still Alex. Who made inappropriate jokes and kicked him when he teased her and scrunched her shoulders up exactly like he’d expected to when he kissed her neck after she’d asked him to. Alex who he could communicate with in a glance, and who made him laugh with a look, and swung between being the life of the party and then sneaking off for some alone time because it was too much.
Alex who had fucking shocked him to the core asking to go home with him.
And he’d said no!?!??
What the fuck was wrong with him?!
He was just in shock. He had hoped just to be near her tonight and instead they’d kissed and danced together and kissed more and then she brought up that and it just seemed like asking for too much. It made the evening veer into the unrealistic; this had to just be a dream, right?
Fuck, her little gasp when he’d kissed her neck. What had compelled her to ask for that? Of course he’d done it. God he wanted to hold her down and do it again, really make her gasp and squirm and cry out and cum–
Ok, he had not expected her to be so open and straightforward and just break his brain like this tonight. He was barely handling the dress! Be nicer to me, Alex. When did you get so mean?!
He ought to step back. He kept trying to put space so he could think rationally about the right thing to do. No short term thinking with Alex. He wanted the whole thing, the long term, the big picture with her. No just giving in to what he wanted to do when he had her in his grasp right now. He wanted to show he was mature and serious and respectful. She’d just had a breakup. He didn’t want to be a rebound.
Was she just on the prowl? Was that why she’d dressed so good and had so much confidence? She danced without abandon. She joined anything she was called to. She was clearly having a fantastic night and she had admitted she wanted to get taken home by someone and–
No, but she hadn’t said someone, she’d asked him to take her home and…
And, you know, fuck her. Alex. His best friend. Who he’d been longing to do just that to for months now.
Who even needed alcohol when a sexy woman in a velvet dress had you by the balls and you were standing there trying to decide whether to just let her or resist for some higher thinking…
Both? Could they really have both? She said she wanted both…
Fuck, this woman was driving him crazy!
Jimin’s brother and Taehyung had snagged him to get all the bags of eco-friendly confetti ready for people to chuck at Jimin and Ina’m to cap off the night. It was after two in the morning, and Jungkook was shocked at how many of the guests were still here. Even older guests! He overheard talk about moving the party somewhere else. Party to sunrise, apparently! Jungkook was exhausted after the work and emotions and and just everything of the day.
But as he shepherded guests past the table to grab the baggies and out to the circle drive where the limousine waited for In’am and Jimin’s ceremonial departure (they were staying at this hotel and would circle back after a drive around the city), Jungkook realized the night was coming to an end. Soon the wedding would be wrapped and he’d be free of groomsmen duties, free to go home, time to say goodbye to Alex and what, just hope all this stuck? That the next time they saw each other, she still wanted to kiss him? Was this his one opportunity and if he didn’t seize it, she’d be onto someone new tomorrow? It didn’t sound like Alex but neither did kissing him in the middle of the dance floor, neither did asking him to take her home and fuck her, neither did– this was just uncharted territory here. He didn’t know. He didn’t know what he was doing here! He just knew he couldn’t let her leave without some assurance that this had not all been a dream. He didn’t want the night to end ever.
“Everyone’s ready!” Taehyung called up the line from the circle drive to Jungkook, standing in the center of the path. Jungkook waved a thumb’s up to the hotel entrance to pass along to the newlyweds. He’d been looking for Alex to stand next to but couldn’t find her.
The shouting started and people began to throw the heart-shaped white confetti and shout and music played as In’am and Jimin came out of the hotel, hand in hand. Jungkook had to wedge himself in at the end of the sidewalk. He ripped his own cone of confetti open to toss, and in doing so, glanced directly across the path, where Alex stood with Sabina and Rebekah and Namjoon and Yoongi and maybe more of their friends, all shouting and throwing confetti but Jungkook really only saw Alex. It was like magic, seeing her big smile as confetti floated down between them and camera flashes went off and people shouted. He really thought time slowed down.
Yeah, there was no way he was going to remember Jimin’s wedding as the night he didn’t take Alex home. They didn’t have to have sex! They could eat junk food and play video games until the sun came up. They could pass out the second they got to his bedroom. He could sleep on the couch if she changed her mind. But he was going to drag tonight out for every second he could.
Alex had a fantasy of being the woman he took home? He’d be a fucking idiot not to make that come true.
So as soon as Jimin and In’am were in the limo, Jungkook darted across the path and grabbed her hand and dragged her back from the line of partygoers.
“It’s all in my hair!” she laughed, shaking her head, brushing it off her shoulders.
Jungkook brushed it out of her bangs and asked as casually and no-pressure as he could, “Hey, want to come home with me?”
Her eyebrows raised and he felt a moment of panic. Hadn’t she said that’s what she wanted earlier?! Shit! Shit shit shit!
“Really?” she asked, and crossed her arms –under her tits. “That’s how Jungkook Jeon gets women to go home with him? That’s your game? You sound so–”
“Huh? Wha– well but– yeah but I’m not putting moves on you,” he defended.
“Um, ouch.”
“You want me to put moves on you– but– but I already told you that you’re more than that–”
“Damn. How did you ever get laid?”
“I’m just trying to tell you that there’s no pressure to have sex or anything, you can just come over and we can get fries on the way home or something– stop making that face!” he laughed and covered his.
She shook her head and admitted, “My whole world is changing right now. Your instagram is nothing but lies! This is what your game was like in high school! I thought you turned into some superstar fuckboy since then–”
“Fine!” he huffed and turned away from her. His friends were making a point of not noticing them, he could tell. Other people were heading back into the venue to get their things, or going straight out to their cars.
He turned back, ready to say something good he’d think of on the spot.
Alex was gone. She had misunderstood! FUCK. She’d started to walk back inside. He ran after her, already laughing at his own stupidity. She must have expected he’d follow though because it was easy once he caught her hand to get her to stop walking, and easy to back her up against one of the columns lining the hotel walkway. She was so short, it was easy to rest his elbow above her head and lean in close and trace his fingers down the side of her face to tilt her jaw up.
“Oh,” she said.
“It’s time to go, babe,” he said. Her lips twitched. She was trying not to laugh. But that felt ok because she admitted,
“Damn, that’s pretty good…” And something about the way she swallowed made it seem more like she was nervous than that she thought he was ridiculous.
But then he started to laugh as he realized, “So uh, you got wheels we can use, babe?” The laughter erupted from her. She doubled forward, hands to his chest; he dropped his hands to her arms.
“You don’t have your car!”
“Jimin picked me up this morning!”
“So we can ride back with Namjoon!’
“He’ll get pissy if I’m fingering you in the back of his– shit, too much?”
“Oh.” Her eyes went very big.
“Uh… sorry, I don’t know what’s too much or what you think is funny–”
“I don’t either,” she admitted and he was so fucking endeared by her in the moment. He loved the glimpse of her honesty and uncertainty. It made him feel better about his own. “Just… as long as you aren’t like making fun of me–”
“No no, I’m not. Shit, I fucked it up–”
“No,” she said, grabbing his arm. “It’s good then. Um… treat me like one of your insta girls–”
“Absolutely not, I actually care about seeing you again,” he laughed. “But I will take you home with me and we can just see what uh, what happens.”
“I don’t have my car either though. I was planning to go home with someone.”
“Who?” he asked, obviously thinking she meant like Rebekah or something. She just raised her eyebrows. “Wha? Who? You better mean me…”
“Hm…”
“Alex…” He slid his arms around her and tried to drop his mouth to her neck but she was too quick lifting her shoulders with a squeal.
“Say it was me,” he demanded.
“Actually I was hoping Seychelle would be here–”
“Absolutely not.” He couldn’t suppress his laughter, “Can’t risk her converting you.”
“Exactly. I’m ready and willing–”
“Don’t say that in public,” he interrupted. “Wait until we’re home.” He winked at her, meaning it playful. But he saw the flicker across her face, where she wasn’t sure if he was joking or not.
Goddamnit. If Alex really wanted that, was he really going to tell her no? Especially when she’d just admitted she basically planned this. This wasn’t a drunk spur of the moment mistake. She’d come here so hopeful of him– really? This was really all on purpose? So then had she really dumped Hoseok for him? She left her car at home for him? Obviously she wouldn’t have been stranded completely if things hadn’t gone well but… but her hope in him made him bolder.
“So… you wore this dress for me too?” he asked, reaching out to finger the sleeve.
She made a face, “Um, I wore this dress because I look amazing in it.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“But maybe I was hoping someone would notice me in it.”
“Just anybody, huh?”
“Yeah, just anybody,” she grinned and giggled. It was the girliest he’d ever heard Alex giggle. If he’d been watching her act like this with anyone else, he’d known instantly she had a crush, it was so obvious. Her flirting was just so cute. “You know, going to a wedding alone, you never know who might be there, maybe you want to celebrate with someone afterwards.”
“Well then you’re lucky I noticed you before some other guy who uh, doesn’t know how to make eggs in the morning… or something… god, why do you keep laughing at me?!”
“I’m just nervous!” she laughed and hit his arm. “I’m not used to being on the receiving end of your game when you’re being serious about it! Well, I mean, you used to try to pull this kind of shit when you wanted something from me but… but it didn’t make me feel like this before!”
“Oh yeah? What do you think changed then?” He let go of her sleeve but realized she must be cold now, still standing outside without her coat.
“I don’t know! I guess… just… because it could go somewhere um different this time… I mean different than you just crying because I beat you in Smash again–”
“Don’t get too excited, I have been playing a lot of video games lately,” he warned. And slid his arm around her to pull her into his jacket and herded her towards the door.
“Yeah but I’m just innately better at it than you.”
“Uh huh. We’ll see… hey. You know even before all of this,” he mused, “you were always my favorite woman to leave with.”
“Wow.”
“What?”
“I don’t know, it’s kind of weird to hear you call me a woman instead of just girl or shrimp. Oh my god, does that mean you really have realized I’m a woman after all these years?!” She was teasing him, the teasing felt so good, he felt giddy all over again. And apparently when he got giddy he wanted to say raunchy things to get a rise out of her.
So he assured her quietly, “Oh I know you’re a woman, and whether it’s tonight or another night, I will be more than happy to wring every single orgasm from your little shrimp body–”
“There’s no way this is how you seduce women.”
“Yeah but it’s working with you, huh?”
She glared. He was too giddy to even take the kiss he wanted, just tapped her nose because she’d hate it and ordered, “Go get your coat, babygirl, I’ll get my things and– wait, how are we getting home again? Hey, Namjoon!”
He had to walk away quickly because calling Alex babygirl didn’t feel jokey, it felt new and exciting and yes still jokey but also heavy and intentional and now there was no reason he couldn’t call her baby anymore and he was just really excited and ready to get her home. If Namjoon wouldn’t stop for fries, maybe he could doordash some on the way…
Guess what this chapter is too long to fit in a single post so go here for Part B!
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#jungkook x oc#jeon jungkook x oc#jungkook smut#jungkook f2l#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#bangtan smut#bts smut#jungkook fanfiction#fuckboy au#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook series#jungkook/reader#jungkook/oc#jungkook#tellmewhatchanged#tell me what changed#tmwc#fuckboy jungkook#jeon jungkook ff#jungkook fanfic
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The Hit List | 1
masterlist: here
Summary: The Bangtan Frat is known for its prestige reputation of top GPAs, hosting the hottest most qualified students in the country, and above all: their undefeated list of heartbreaks. What happens when one of the seven ends up drunkenly at your doorstep?
Pairing: Fuckboy!JK, introvert!Reader
Chapters: 1 | 2 |
Genre: Smut (Future), emphasize on the Angst, and Romance
Tags: jeongguk is bad at feelings.
WC: 2.7k
“Did you hear?” Your roommate, Riven, asked as she swung her bookbag onto her bed.
“Heard what?” You turned from the CAD project you’ve been aimlessly staring at the past six, or seven, or eight hours. Said project that’s due in six hours.
Riven paused in her tracks, head inching forward as her mouth flew open, “Kim Taehyung was going around campus saying Dahyun’s pussy smelled like canned tuna.”
You rolled your eyes. “Did he announce this before or after he still decided to fuck her?”
Riven tilted her head, looked at the ceiling for a solid six seconds before shrugging and pulling her iPhone out. Probably to text Taehyung and congratulate him on airing out Dahyun’s personal matters.
Your roommate Riven, much like all the other Bangtan Frat fangirls, didn’t care about whose reputation a particular Bangtan boy ruined. She’d much rather get on their fuckable list, spared reputation or not.
“Seokjin bought Rose the new Dior bag. What a lucky bitch.” Riven turned her phone toward you to reveal a photo of Kim Seokjin’s girlfriend, Rose happily smiling with a mini black handbag wrapped around her shoulder. You leaned forward, squinting to make out the blurry letters that read, ‘Thank you for the gift baby, @K.Seok’.
Apparently, Riven isn’t the only one who didn’t care for her reputation. Last week, your roommate sent you about thirty— maybe sixty texts about how her sorority sister fucked Seokjin in the stairwell of the Bangtan house. Look’s like Christian Dior must’ve been an apology.
You looked up at your starstruck roommate with pursed lips. Riven stared back, then with sudden realization, she rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, he cheated on her. So what? That bag is eight-thousand dollars, that’s my fuckin’ meal plan right there.”
“Remind me again how you’re a neurology student.”
Riven’s touched her chest with an open hand with a dramatic gasp and said, “Wow. I see how it is.” She then fell onto her back with an even more dramatic fall.
You grinned.
Oh fuck.
CAD is still open and as much as you indulged in listening to whatever Bangtan was up to, you’ve completed about forty percent of your model. Your machine, an internal combustion engine had to not only be fully rigged but successfully stress analyzed by nine. You’re going to have to sacrifice dinner, yet again. This was the cost of your procrastination. Goddamnit.
“I have to finish this tonight. Do not bother me with any more of this Bangtan shit.” You turn your chair back to face the dreadful white screen and don’t bother to check if your roommate is sticking her tongue out at you or not.
Five and a half hours later you pressed the shining ‘Submit’ button on Blackboard and turned your PC off with so much ferocity the desktop nearly toppled over.
“Never doing that again,” you groaned, slumping into the chair to allow the back of your neck to press against the soft cushion.
“You literally say that every time,” Riven quipped from her side of the room.
If you had the energy, you would’ve stood up and punched her in the ass. Luckily for Riven, your eyes have drooped sixteen times within the past ten minutes. You decided your chair would replace your bed thirty minutes ago.
“How do I look? Good enough for Kim?”
Fucking hell. You brace your core and groan as you muster up enough strength to swirl your chair around to face your roommate. She did look good— real good.
Riven wore a black above-the-knee dress that had a cutout on both sides of the ribs, it paired nicely with the laced-up black heels she spent twenty minutes trying to position correctly. Whining very fucking loudly.
She’d spent the last hour of your project crying about what she was going to wear to Taehyung’s big birthday bash.
“Which one? The cheater or the pussy police?”
Her nose wrinkled, “You’re so annoying.”
Yeah, it’s definitely the pussy police.
Riven stumbled toward her drawer, rummaging through three drawers before pulling out a neon orange tiny bag. No, seriously, it had to be like two inches max. “Can you even fit anything in there?”
A wicked smile riddled her face and she opened the toy purse, pulling out a matching neon orange wrapper in between her middle and index finger. Of-fucking-course.
“I’m serious. He’s going to lay it down on me tonight.”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t remind him of the tuna.”
You swore she lunged forward, ready to attack you with the mini weapon. But, her phone rang, which happened to be a far more pressing matter. The assault could wait. Riven pressed the phone to her ear with a smile, “Are you here? Yeah, I’m ready, you have the Pink Whitney? Okay. Bye.”
“I’ll get you back for that later. Bye.”
Riven leaped out of the room, neon orange bag and condom disappearing with her.
After nearly crawling your way across the room for thirty minutes, you finally made it to your bed. The problem now was getting on top of it. Your school so generously gave everyone the tallest fucking beds in existence. Tall enough that all of your belongings fit underneath it so they could make the rooms ten times smaller by doing so.
You sat on your ass, glaring at what felt like a sixteen-foot space between you and the mattress. You could, theoretically just fucking get up and with one last surge of energy jump onto it. But, the soft cotton of your fuzzy rug was suddenly hugging your back. Tucking you in, cradling you.
Fuck it, the floor isn’t even that bad. You’ve slept on much worse.
Your head lay flat on the floor, the hardwood never felt softer. Riven left hours ago and you managed to successfully knock out on your chair. That was until you jolted up, sweating out of every crevice of your body, and made eye contact with the cloud of softness. You said bye-bye to the chair and began the voyage to your bed. Clearly, that was not going as expected.
It was too late now to dwell on what could’ve been. Tomorrow, you’ll start anew. Just like every night she partied, Riven won’t be back for two or three days. You’ll have a full day to sleep on your bed without the mention of Bangtan and internal combustion engines.
You turned to your side, the fuzz tickling your chin as you nuzzled into it.
“Kristen! Baby, please open the door.”
The hairs on your arms rose and a fart you hadn’t realized you’d been holding in released into the air. Drunk fucker has the wrong door.
With a shaky breath, you nuzzled into the carpet again.
Not a second later, a bang erupted through your room. “Baby, please. I’m so sorry. I love you.”
Your heart thrashed in your chest. Could you not have one night of peace? One night of tranquility to enjoy your own company? One night to enjoy sleeping on the hard floor?
“Kristen, for fuckssake.” The asshole nearly knocked the fucking door off the wall.
First, you’re going to knock him the hell out. Then, you’ll find out who Kristen is and then knock her out, too.
“Baby, please—“
You jolted upwards and ran to the door so fast you must’ve broken a World Record. Swinging the wooden panel open like a madwoman, you yelled, “Listen asshole, I don’t know who Kristin is and I don’t give a damn. It’s late as hell and some of us actually enjoy sleeping.”
Said asshole leaned against the door frame of your room, tattooed index finger wiggling in the air until it met your lips, “Shhhhh, baby, I said I’m sorry.”
Your throat locked and you nearly laughed at the audacity. Did the fucker really not notice you weren’t his girlfriend?
Said asshole happened to also push himself off the door frame and trudge past you, right into your room as if he’d been in here a million times.
Much like you wanted to before your carpet trapped you, the stranger leaped onto your bed, stomach flopping onto the cushion of your mattress. He muttered something you couldn’t hear as he grabbed your favorite pillow and brought it close to his chest. He was snuggling your Mr. Gummy.
You were going to go to jail for manslaughter. Yeah. This was the end of your girl boss engineering career. Goodbye feminist STEM icon. Hello murderer. All those years of suffering to get into an IVY just for you to murder some tattooed frat boy.
“Babe, I don’t remember your bed smelling this good.” He’d gone into a fetal position, kicking off his— were those Balenciagas? Maybe, just maybe, you’d kill him and then sell his shoes on Poshmark. Maybe.
You rubbed your forehead with the back of your palm, picking up the sweat that had accumulated. You swung your head out of your door, left and right, and then repeat. Empty. Fuck. Fuck, and fuck.
You paced back and forth a few times, biting on the edge of your hand. You can’t pick this behemoth off your bed. One, he’s drunk as hell. Two, he’s… You gazed back at the stranger, somewhere on his voyage to your bed he tossed the black and white flannel he wore to your floor. Leaving him in a tight tank top that left nothing to the imagination.
Who needs that many back muscles? The curvature of the tattooed arm that hugged Mr. Gummy was sculpted by the Greek Gods themselves.
Holy hell. Get a fucking grip.
Okay, so you can’t drag Apollo out of your room.
Plan B it is.
You trudged into your room, taking one last look at the hallway. Should you close the door?
If someone did hypothetically walk past would they think you drugged him? He was slurring his words and hugging your favorite bear while you paced back and forth like you happened to “accidentally” slip something into his protein shake.
You closed the door.
You needed to call Riven. You could care less that she was at the beginning of her three-day rager, you weren’t going to wait till the next morning when Apollo would wake up and start accusing you of sexually assaulting him.
You slowly walked toward your desk, making sure to avoid the panels on the floor that creased every time someone stepped on them. Empty. You pushed your chair back to see if it happened to fall earlier. Empty.
The air stilled, and you shook your head. No. No. He was laying on it.
You chucked the fucking thing on your bed after deciding to finally start your project. You had to call Riven. There was no other choice but to tell someone. And given the fact that your contact list included your parents and Riven, she’s looking like the most optimal candidate.
As silently as you could, you tip-toed toward your bed and did a quick examination. Near his head? Nope. Mr. Gummy? Nope. Legs? Nope. Ass?
Yeah.
Maybe you would go to jail after all, for fucking assault.
You better get an A on that fucking project.
You took a step forward, awkwardly climbing the edge of your bed to get closer to your phone. Which was nicely tucked right under Apollo’s sculpted ass. Your camera barely peeking out as if it was taunting you.
Shit. How are you going to pull it out?
Your face contorted as you inched closer to the stranger, thumb and middle finger clutching the edges of your phone and lightly tugging backward. Apollo huffed out a groan. Dear god.
It’s not budging.
In and out. Breathe.
You tugged again.
Something thudded against the floor.
Your eyes left Apollo’s ass and gazed to the floor where your Mr. Gummy lay sacrificed to the floor demons. Uh oh.
You turned back to Apollo when your eyes locked with his. His very open eyes.
He was smiling.
“Baby I didn’t know you were into ass-play.”
You stared. Couldn’t muster enough energy to do anything else but stare. Stare at the face of the beautiful drunk idiot in front of you. Emphasize on the beautiful.
The idiot had a pretty and playful smile riddling his face. Kristen must be a lucky girl. Not lucky enough, though. How drunk did someone have to be to not recognize their girlfriend?
“C’mere,” he grabbed your arm, pulling you to your side as if you weighed nothing. A heavy hand locked around your waist and began rubbing circles on your stomach.
“Missed you, n’ I’m sorry baby,” he slurred into your ear. His voice was much lower now.
Kristen, I’m so sorry.
The words shot straight to your pussy. You hadn’t been touched in nine months. Sue me. A hot fucking guy was rubbing your lower stomach while he told you— his girlfriend he missed her.
You need your phone. Pronto.
“Listen— I” You raised a clammy hand to lift Apollo’s, attempting to wrap your fingers around his wrist to lift it.
“You’re so touchy tonight,” he intertwined your fingers.
What the fuck are you supposed to do? You inched your back further into the stranger in an attempt to shrug him off of you.
Apollo thought otherwise. Bucking his hips forward until you felt it.
FUCK.
You’ll wake up with blue balls and a warrant.
“I’m really tired,” you squirmed against the death grip around your waist.
Just pretend it’s not there. You do not feel anything. Just rock hard abs. Abs and his—
“G’to bed baby. I’ll make it up- make it up to you n’ the morning.” Apollo lifted himself to place one last slobbery kiss against your cheek.
Two minutes later Apollo’s light snores vibrated against the back of your neck, warm breath caressing your skin. You wouldn’t be able to move him off you. You have no clue where your phone is. His ass could very well have fully consumed it at this point.
With a sigh, you closed your eyes, pretended there wasn’t a stranger sleeping in your bed, and prayed that you wouldn’t end up in jail before noon.
“OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL!”
Are you being robbed? Is someone being murdered? You jolted upwards to see Riven staring at you with an open mouth.
You shook your head. What’s her problem?
She pointed to your bed and you turned your body to the side. Oh.
Oh.
Apollo was rapidly blinking, brows furrowing as he was most likely realizing you were not Kristen.
You laughed nervously, hands flailing in front of you. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“Why is Jeon Jeongguk in your bed?”
Jeon Jeongguk? The same Bangtan Frat Jeon Jeongguk? No way.
This Jeongguk cuddled Mr. Gummy half of the night before opting to trap you in the bed with him. There was no chance that this was the same Jeon Jeongguk that partied seven days a week and had laid about the entire student population.
Apollo— Jeongguk groaned beside you, hands rubbing his face. “Kristen’s going to kill me.” He mumbled underneath his breath.
“No, we— we didn’t. We.” You pointed to Jeongguk who tilted his head with a grin.
“Listen, sweetheart, I’m sure it was the time of your life, but this was a one-time thing.”
Your eyes bulged out of their sockets. Was he serious? Did he think you two? And he was okay with it? Now, this fits the description perfectly of the narcissistic asshole Jeon Jeongguk you expected him to be.
Your face was warm. “We did not have sex. He came in here drunk off his ass screaming about his girlfriend.”
By the time the word 'girlfriend' left your mouth, Jeon Jeongguk had already jumped off your bed, picked up his flannel, and was halfway down the hallway. Probably to see the real Kristen.
What an arrogant little prick. Your muscles quivered, you were going to strangle him. That is if you ever see him again.
“How long have you and Jeongguk been seeing each other?” The empty spot beside you filled. “Is that why you hated talking about Bangtan?”
“Riven, you have five seconds to get off of my bed before I strangle you.”
#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#bts fanfic#bts x reader#bts x you#jungkook fuckboy#jeon jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic rec#jungkook is an asshole#slow burn#jungkook college au#jungkook au#jungkook imagine#jungkook playboy au#jungkook fuckboy au#The Hit List
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why didn’t you wait for me? ;; jjk
pairing + characters: jungkook x female reader, taehyung and hobi
word count: 10k ⭐️
rating: 17+ (for cursing mostly)
genre/warnings: childhood best friends turned strangers to enemies (!) to lovers, non idol!au, ANGST ANGST ANGST, the classic “jungkook was a nerd turned hot fuckboy” trope, some fighting and very loud confessions and lots of guilt and misunderstandings like oh my god poor jungkook :(
summary: y/n attends a wedding in hawaii with her old high school buddy taehyung for a much needed reunion. little did she realize that the last person she wanted to see would end up attending.
notes: read @taegularities’ stars behind waves and i felt very inspired! there’s no smut in this bc i suck at writing it so read that instead if you want them to fawk. 😗
© jungkook97 2022. do not repost or modify. please ask for permission to translate.
All you can do is glare at your best friend at this point.
“Damn, it’s been a minute huh, Taehyung?” he greeted your best friend with a neck-breaking embrace. You gritted your teeth together with your arms crossed tightly, unwilling to stand up to say hello to one of the unexpected plus ones to this dinner date.
You should’ve known, really. After all, one of your guys’ high school friends was getting married this weekend on the picturesque but tourist trap of an island Oahu and it was only a matter of time that your least favorite person would end up being here too.
At least, Jeon Jungkook wasn’t your least favorite person forever. He was, at one point, something to you.
Not anymore.
Taehyung licked his lips nervously as he slowly let go of one of his former water polo mates, laughing nervously while you cleared your throat loudly and obnoxiously as possible.
You stood up slowly, completely ignoring Jungkook to give Hoseok, the other plus one, a big bear hug. You could feel his dark eyes boring into your back, but you didn’t care. You almost wanted him to be bothered. After all, he was the asshole, not you.
“Ah, it’s been a year or two for us, huh?” Hoseok beamed his infectious smile at you. He had a baby blue bucket hat on with a white tee, cargo shorts, and of course, his trusted mini shoulder bag adorned with all kinds of bright colors and toys. It fit the Hawaiian vibe, which is unsurprising due to his fashionista status.
Jung Hoseok, the popular street dancer senior who took you to prom when nobody wanted to go with you, was elated to see you, as you had been catching up with him for years after graduation. In fact, you still kept up with everybody in that little crew that Taehyung was a part of, seeing them from time to time in fun little dinners and weekend getaways. It was always a joy to see Bangtan in pairs and trios, but even then, you didn’t see a certain someone in these hangouts. Actually, Jungkook was the only one you haven’t seen since your senior year of undergrad and for a good reason.
“It has,” you grinned widely, rubbing his shoulders as he gripped you tightly, patting you on the back. “It’s so nice to see you as always,” you emphasized the last word, making sure Jungkook heard you loud and clear. Unsurprisingly, he did, prompting him to smack his lips and hands together.
“Why don’t we sit down and catch up, yeah?” he suggested, trying to meet eyes with you as you pulled away from Hoseok and turned toward his direction.
“Yeah,” you said nonchalantly, your right hand reaching for the chair to sit right down, unwilling to give what the man wanted. You could sense Jungkook stiffening up for a millisecond before brushing it off, sitting right in front of you because of course he would. Three years of radio silence or even a small cameo in your life and now he wanted to be front and center so you can notice him.
You sat directly next to Taehyung, who heaved a sigh at the sight of you two still not speaking to one another. Grabbing the cooled apothecary glass bottle from the table, he began pouring the sparkling water amongst the group evenly.
“Look, I know you guys aren’t really on the best of terms per se—”
“‘Best of terms’ is a very mild way of saying it,” you interrupted, taking your filled glass immediately to your lips, finally meeting eyes with him.
There he was, sitting there staring at you back. He mostly grew out of his baby features from the last time you saw him, developing an incredibly sharp jawline and his nose no longer a prominent feature of his face. He gathered a few piercings since you last saw each other, and his black tee draped over his broad shoulders just enough to make him look much larger than before. A singular silver dog tag necklace dangled from his neck as he pulled his right arm up to rub his neck, revealing an entire tattoo sleeve that probably took weeks to complete.
Frankly, the man looked like he quite literally leaned into his fuckboy image much to your dismay. You still remembered that big doe-eyed little kid from years ago who couldn’t say a single word to pretty women without stumbling his words and would play Overwatch for hours, wearing the oversized white tee, blue jeans and Timberlands combo for months on end. He was a big dork from what you remember growing up, and the full 180 of an image was giving you whiplash and major disappointment.
It only took one semester in undergrad and a dare from Jimin for him to join a fraternity when he grew up fast, dressed fashionably and started to gain a body count quickly. To this day, you still hated Jimin for that, despite him being your favorite party friend all during your college years and into young adulthood. It wasn’t that you wanted Jungkook to stay an innocent baby forever, but shit, did you really have to completely lose him to the frat boy club? It was like losing a parent.
It wasn’t entirely Jimin’s fault though. After all, he wasn’t the one who abandoned you at your lowest point in your life.
Was it petty for you to be angry at him for this long? Perhaps. However, Jungkook didn’t help his case. It wasn’t just that he wasn’t there one time for you, he completely disappeared from your life with no explanation. Rather than spending late nights talking to Jungkook about your struggles of finding a job post graduation or healing from your four-year whirlwind of a committed relationship turned engagement turned absolute shit, you found solace in Taehyung instead.
Rather, he was too busy with his new lifestyle, going to endless raves and getting shit-faced drunk with absolute strangers every spring break even after graduation. He became a much different person, an empty shell of who he was before. It irked you awfully knowing that, as you could never comprehend why anybody having that bright of a future just waste their time getting blasted and forgetting the entire world around them. It was selfish and immature, something you never thought would end up describing Jungkook in his early twenties.
The only times you got updates on Jungkook was through the Bangtan men during your trips with them as they spoke about him in amusing anecdotes. You found out about his first big boy job, his first serious partner and eventual breakup, and a bunch of other milestones that you weren’t a part of.
Like it really mattered to you. He wasn’t there for your milestones either. Not that you had many besides graduation and a retracted marriage proposal.
And so the four of you ate with not much fanfare or drama, exchanging funny stories with each other that had happened in the past year. You two didn’t say many words to one another, only acknowledging each other’s presence by a hum and a nod, directing your guys’ attention to Taehyung and Hoseok. You could still feel Jungkook’s eyes gazing at you from time to time to check your reactions to certain things. He was testing the waters, wary of when to speak, say something to you or even address anything for that matter.
As everyone departed from the cafe, Jungkook pulled his black raven hair back to put on his Louis Vuitton shades, extruding an effortless coolness to him. You rolled your eyes at it, following him. In a predictable chain of events, he slowed down his walking pace to match yours, walking side to side as Hoseok and Taehyung were a full ten steps ahead of you two.
After a while, he finally broke the silence.
“You seem better these days.”
You scoffed.
“Yeah, I had to figure that out without you, remember?”
Jungkook groaned, putting his hands on his hips as you two finally reached the grandiose hotel lobby.
“Are you really going to hold that over me forever? It’s been three years.”
“It’s not just three regular years, Kook,” you leaned in to push the elevator button. “My ex-fianceé cheated on me, got kicked out from my own place and lost a shit ton of friends, you being one of them.”
You crossed your arms once more, looking up towards your former childhood best friend. He had pulled his sunglasses off and folded them on his collar, his expression dark and reminiscing on those lost three years. He stepped into the elevator with you after. It was empty with only the two of you in it. It was a long ride up as Taehyung booked the second biggest suite for the week.
“I was busy,” he said simply. Those three simple words were incredibly loaded, harboring a kind of energy you couldn’t quite place. Anger? Resentment? Bitterness? You couldn’t make it make sense for you.
You laughed mockingly. Busy? Wasting your life away is being busy?
“Yeah, weren’t we all? You weren’t the only one juggling everything, you know. Like…” Should you say it? “Like, you weren’t there. You were too busy screwing the whole campus and the entire Caribbean to care.”
You were getting heated, breathing more shallow with every word you spoke. Jungkook’s tongue poked against his cheek in annoyance as he leaned against the railing of the elevator. His wary but friendly demeanor was gone, replaced with the asshole you last remembered.
“I wasn’t fucking everyone,” he defended himself. “I was networking.”
“Is that what you fuckboys call it nowadays?”
“Stop before you start saying shit you’re going to regret,” Jungkook threatened.
With the distant humming of the island elevator music, you continued. You didn’t care. You had to say your piece.
“You really think you’re hot shit,” you cursed with a resentful smile on your face. The three years were cycling in your mind at rapid speed, compounded by your strong emotions about the matter. “You joined one fraternity over a dare, wore some hypebeast clothes, fucked a lot of bitches and somehow, that got you out here thinking you’re the fucking man. Well newsflash: you’re not. You’re not shit, Jungkook. You don’t even give a shit about your own friends going through shit.”
He closed his eyes, grinding his teeth.
“Stop. Now,” he growled.
You stood right in front of him, eyes leveled with his closed ones. His eyes were shaking inside from all the anger. Good, you thought. You wanted him to feel as angry as you have been for the past few years.
“What would you be if Jimin didn’t dare you that night? Where the fuck would you be now, Kook?”
He laughed bitterly, opening his eyes slowly to see yours. You could see the venom coming out of them and he was absolutely sick of you.
“You know what it sounds like?”
You pursed your lips.
“What?”
“It sounds like you’re jealous that I was fucking everybody but you.”
Ding.
“Fuck you, Jungkook.”
You left the elevator immediately, dizzy from the heated conversation. You couldn’t believe the words that came out of the fucker’s mouth. It was expected though, after all he has become a version of those e-boys you two used to make fun of. He made a promise he would never be like that no matter how much he glowed up.
What a bunch of shit that was.
“Can we leave the two of you alone for 3 seconds without you guys looking like you want to kill each other?” Taehyung exasperatedly exclaimed as the both of you arrived at the suite. It was up to Taehyung’s taste with dark oak wood finishes all throughout the unit, complete with a full kitchen and a spacious living room fit for at least ten people comfortably.
With the wind blowing through the lightly sheer white curtains, you walked past your best friend in contempt to go towards the balcony for some fresh air.
All you wanted was some time off. It was a rough time at your job as you were struggling to make the stupid metrics the company was giving you, and were desperately anticipating this Hawaii trip for weeks. Just as you thought the vacation was going to be perfect, the person you grew to resent so deeply would appear in your life again. It was as if you couldn’t catch a break and the endless cycle of bullshit just continued on like some sick joke.
As you look at the beautiful sunset unfolding in front of you being enveloped in all shades of purple, orange and pink, you close your eyes with some tears on the creases of them. You exhaled deeply to relieve the pent up energy, your sore and tense muscles relaxing. You deserved this more than anybody else on this trip and you knew it in your heart. No one was going to prevent you from having a good time, not even Jeon Jungkook and his stupid fuckboy face.
“It sounds like you’re jealous that I was fucking everybody but you.”
Those words continued to echo in your mind for the next few days as the four of you made a mark through the whole island, eating and partying your way through. There was joy and laughter for the most part, but there was still a lot of stonewalling and ignoring from both parties, only acknowledging each other when it was necessary. You half expected Jungkook to apologize for his extremely incorrect assessment, but he didn’t bring it up to you or anybody for that matter. It was as if it never happened. Typical of a fuckboy.
You were successfully pretending Jungkook didn’t exist for the most part, spending more time with the other two and leaving him in the dust. Jungkook did the same, occasionally disappearing for thirty minutes on your guys’ night outs. All of you assumed he was probably working his tongue, fingers and his dick in someone, local or visiting. You caught a couple of glimpses of him sleazily dancing with someone else or buying someone a drink, only hastily looking away and chugging yet another mai tai to forget about it.
You could sworn though, Jungkook seemed to enjoy it, almost digging his words in your skull through his actions with a glance he gave whenever you caught so much as him flirting with someone you knew he would be railing minutes after. It was a mild annoyance to say the least. If there was one thing you two had in common, it was being extremely petty.
It wasn’t that you thought Jungkook was unfuckable. He wasn’t ugly by any means; he was that kid in your guys’ friend group who was more of a late bloomer. You knew he was going to grow into his features eventually, growing taller and wider as he worked out regularly. And when he began to give a fuck about his body and looks, he was at his most dangerous at that point, only for you to already be deeply involved in your ex-fianceé at the time. Perhaps it was impeccable timing that you were taken because God only knows what would’ve happened if you two were still close and very much single.
Was there tension between the both of you? Of course. Neither of you wanted to admit it, especially after he joined the college’s water polo team after you joked that he could never rebrand himself as a jock. After all, he was still playing MapleStory and watching Marvel movies like it’s his religion. How can he possibly scrub all of that away so easily?
It ended up working for him of course, as it does with everything Jungkook does. He was the golden maknae, just capable of anything he set his mind to. It was all the more frustrating that he took his brains and talent into the gutter by his senior year of undergrad, partying his life away with people who didn’t end up caring for him. It was only recently when he returned back to Bangtan, also trying to make up for lost time.
The boys forgave him with open arms of course. You, on the other hand, couldn’t be on the same page.
A change of scenery had to happen and soon enough, Hoseok suggested a light hike. Since the hotel was by the shore, you guys figured to go on a little walk for some scenic photos for Instagram and to bask in nature.
Of course, it was ill-timed as you were extremely hungover and dehydrated from the night before, body aching from God knows what. It was high noon when it happened when you started to slow down compared to the others’ brisk walks down the perfectly easy paved trail, feeling unbearably hot. You knew it was 100% you when it wasn’t that bad earlier as the humidity caught up to you. Beads formed into light drips of sweat on your face as you found yourself heaving, feeling light. It wasn’t looking too good, your vision was blurry.
“Hey.”
You felt a tight grip around your waist as you looked up dazed looking at a broad shouldered silhouette of a man. You knew who it was immediately, pushing him away with little strength you had left.
“No, leave me the fuck alone, Kook,” you urged, your legs starting to feel like pudding. You would rather pass out at this point than have Jungkook help you in any capacity, but your body was giving out, leaning against his built frame.
“You’re going to pass out,” he sighed, grabbing onto you tighter, his biceps rock solid against your waist, pushing you toward a nearby bench to sit down. “Did you not bring any water?”
“Hoseok said it wasn’t a super long trail,” you said meekly as Jungkook pulled a portable fan out and held it by your face. The cool air comforted you almost immediately as he pushed the fan into your hand before pulling out his stainless steel tumbler and uncapping it, offering you a swig of his water. “Ew no, I don��t know where that’s been.”
Jungkook sighed deeply, pushing the top of the tumbler toward your lips.
“Stop being stubborn and drink.”
You obliged, taking three full gulps. He cupped his hand underneath your chin to catch the excess water while steadying the flow of iced water down your mouth with his other hand. When you were done, he patted the excess water he caught on your forehead to cool you down more before patting and massaging your back to help you breathe.
It was nice. You two gazed into each other’s eyes once again and you could see the worry etched in his furrowed eyebrows, his lips sulking. You couldn’t help but to feel a pit in your stomach at his genuineness, something you haven’t really seen in a while coming from him. It was as if the old Jungkook was still lingering in there somewhere, still caring. His touch was hesitant and awkward, as if he wasn’t sure how to touch you. He didn’t want to come off too strong or have you miscode his actions. It was the most intimate you two had ever been in a while, and it wasn’t laced with any sexual intentions, a stark contrast to what you were seeing and hearing him to do other women in the past few years.
“Better?”
His tongue was dancing along with his lip ring when you patted his back to indicate you felt better. He nodded, pulling you up with one arm slowly, not letting go.
“Let me carry you back,” he suggested, turning his back against you and bending back, his arms extended behind his back and beckoning for you to hop on. Without much arguing, you climbed on, your arms tightly wrapped around his neck as he grabbed your thighs tightly, pushing you up and straightening himself out. You were too tired to argue at this point, and desperately just wanted to go home.
With your head against the top of his shoulder blades, he took you home without much conversation, humming quietly to himself as onlookers passed by and gushed at his charitable deed. You cringed a bit at the glimpses of other women enamored by him, almost regretting the choice you just made. It was inescapable how much women just love Jungkook, and how easy they just fall for his looks and charisma. If only they saw his pimpled face at seventeen, yelling at a computer screen when his team lost on Overwatch—
Stop it. Jungkook grew up. Why can’t you just admit that to yourself? He wasn’t that kid anymore, he had grown into a very attractive twenty something.
I just can’t.
Maybe I was jealous.
It didn’t take long before you dozed off on his back, only realizing it when you finally woke up in your bed, sheets spread out underneath you. With the fan whirring softly in the background, you groaned and stretched out your whole back, cracking every inch of the way. With your eyes focusing, you slowly got up to sit, realizing that there was someone else in the room.
There Jungkook was, manspreading on the lone eggshell colored barrel chair feet away from you underneath a blanket. He had put some of your clothes on the side for him to sit down, apparently to monitor your wellbeing, but ended up dozing off into a light nap. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, but you pushed that down so deep somewhere else, pushing yourself off the bed to see anybody else was still around, just anyone. It didn’t take long for you to realize the two of you alone, and after checking your phone, Taehyung and Hoseok were already off to dinner somewhere else without extending the invite to either of you.
It felt like a setup. Perhaps they devised this plan to leave you two alone for you to make up, but this also opened some avenues you didn’t want to explore, especially knowing the track record of Jungkook being alone with any woman. It wasn’t that you didn’t feel safe around him, but if there was anything that was consistent in your life right now, it was the fact that anything could very much happen.
“You feel better?”
Jungkook’s voice echoed in the empty space that was the living room. You turned around, sheepishly grabbing your own arm to comfort yourself from the sheer panic that you were spending an awful amount of time alone with him.
“Yeah. Just hungry though.”
His slippers skidded through the floor as he entered the room, wearing yet another dark oversized tee and matching shorts. You could feel your heart pounding in your throat as you two met each other’s gazes. His was a lot softer compared to when you two last spoke, his walls had disintegrated and his presence felt very familiar to you once again, like specks of old Jungkook was peeking through.
The caring, soft-spoken and attentive side of him was ringing in your head for the past ten minutes, your brain trying to make sense of it all. This whole time you thought that side of him was long gone and had been replaced with someone else completely but alas, he was right in front of you, just older.
You missed him. You missed that Jungkook deeply.
Before you could say something stupid, he opened his mouth.
“You wanna eat at that buffet downstairs?”
You nodded.
“Yeah, why not?”
You were unraveling. It was definitely a result of the combination of the quiet sexual tension between the two of you all week and the whiplash of the Jungkook you once knew making a reappearance that you feeling a certain type of way. You found your eyes lingering too long at his back while waiting in line for some steak at the meat station. He seemed rather oblivious by you checking him out fully, fully fixated on the spread of meat before him.
You could still feel his back against your cheeks and how formidable his neck felt with your arms slung around his neck. The absolute comfort you felt, the security of knowing he was very capable of taking you home safe and sound. It didn’t fully hit you at the time, but you realized how much you missed him, the real him.
After stealing a few more glances from across the table, you finally saw a moment to finally speak your piece after the events from earlier today.
“Um, hope this doesn’t sound weird in any way, but I just want to thank you for taking me home earlier. That was very sweet of you.”
Jungkook looked up from his mountainous plate food, cheeks filled with meat. He stopped in mid chew, his big brown doe eyes looking back at you in surprise. He was absolutely adorable.
“Mmm, of course,” he mumbled his words before drowning the contents down with some wine. Clearing his throat, he looked down and continued picking at his food with a fork. “I couldn’t leave you there, Taehyung would quite literally kill me.”
You smiled, first time in his presence in a while.
“Yeah, he really would.”
His lips formed into a small soft grin as well, stabbing a cherry tomato right in the middle before gobbling it up.
The two of you kept eating, grabbing more plates of food. Eventually, conversation soon sparked up, and you found yourself finally speaking to him normally just like old times. It felt as if time didn’t pass at all and the negative feelings surrounding the both of you existed in a different alternative universe. It wasn’t that you actively forgot, but you realized that being petty wasn’t going to get anywhere at this point. It was clear you two had moved on and no longer wanted to keep it up anymore.
After your third drink and a few more laughs, it grew a bit quiet. As Jungkook finished the remaining pieces of his dessert, he put his small spoon down as it clinked against the ceramic bowl. Pensive, his mind was thinking about something for a while based on your observation, and you knew it was on the tip of his tongue.
He sat up, straightening his back before saying his piece as well.
“I know we haven’t been kind to each other this whole trip and I just wanna say…I’m really sorry for what I said earlier. I was being incredibly immature, and I regretted saying that.”
Your tongue swirled inside your mouth at his sudden apology as your fork clashed against your own plate after it got loose from your hand. This whole time you felt that Jungkook was being firm in his words and was convincing you that he was right, but in actuality he was remorseful the whole time.
If he wasn’t enjoying rubbing his sexual activeness in front of you, then what was actually happening then?
You gulped at the thought, replaying all of those moments in your mind. Surely, everyone assumed Jungkook’s disappearances were hookups for him and you assumed this based on the couple of times you caught him flirting with someone. Weirdly enough, he wasn’t fully attentive towards the girl in question in both instances, always catching you watching him as he stared at you back, seemingly…melancholic. Like he wanted to be somewhere else. With someone else.
Was that someone else you?
You shook away those thoughts. There was no way he was pining for you this entire time. If he did, he would’ve said something when you were engaged for two years to who you thought was the love of your life. You two were just childhood close friends and nothing more.
“It’s okay, Kook,” you finally answered after some time, not realizing you were this deep in thought. “I’m sorry for saying all of that too. Like yeah I was hurt, but I’m not gonna be mad at you for spreading your wings, you know?”
The past was the past. It was clear to you in the past few hours that Jungkook may look different and have a complete 180 of a lifestyle now, there were still parts of Jungkook you remembered and cherished within him (although it took a while for that guy to come out). Perhaps he was lost during those three years like you were, trying to understand and grasp the world as much as possible with his young adult hands. Now that his life was less chaotic, he can regain some of that old him back, just like you have been healing from your own traumas the past three years through this trip.
“Yeah…” was all Jungkook could say, leaning back against the cooled leather booth with his arm sprawled across it. He was thinking about something once again, eyes dark. You could feel it hovering over you, and perhaps that was what Jungkook wanted to do as well.
Or at least, you were hoping that he felt that way.
After stacking the plates up, you two went back to the suite, making light conversation here and there. The gap between the two of you was decreasing as you touched shoulders with him, not being bothered about it one bit.
“See, I told you they’d make up,” Hoseok quipped to Taehyung with a big fat grin on his face, amused as you came into the living room with Jungkook trailing behind.
You laughed a bit, cheeks flushing a light pink.
“Spoiler alert: we are capable of forgiving.”
“It took a while,” Jungkook piped up, plopping against the big sectional next to you. He looked small against it and a part of you ached to sit next to him as his eyes beckoned you to do so. “Anyway, what are we doing right now?”
“Drinking,” Taehyung said simply, giving Jungkook a glass immediately. “We are exposing ourselves tonight.”
You froze. You participated in this game for quite some time now everytime you were with the Bangtan boys and have witnessed and told all kinds of wild confessions and stories. Normally you would be more than happy to join, but in lieu of your recent feelings blooming rapidly for your childhood best friend, you would rather not partake in such activity.
“Uh…” you trailed off, mind scrambling to come up with an excuse. Taehyung raised his eyebrow in enjoyment, taking a sip of wine before crossing his legs graciously like a prince of sorts.
“You’re not joining us?” he hummed, chuckling to himself. He knew you better than everyone else: if you weren’t participating, it’s because you were hiding something.
“No, I’m tired. You know, from heat exhaustion and whatnot,” you lied.
Hoseok snickered, leaning on Taehyung to whisper something to him. You squinted your eyes.
This was deliberate. Very deliberate. They knew something.
After a while, they separated, both nodding to each other. Hoseok waved you away, leaning against the chair.
“Fine, have a good sleep.”
It wasn’t a good sleep. In fact, you spent the last two hours just staring at the ceiling, brain just going through all kinds of emotions at a million miles per hour. It felt nonstop and endless as you plopped yourself up, sighing into the dark abyss. Your vacation was ending and you weren’t looking forward to going back to reality.
It didn’t help that it was humid and hot at 2AM, and you were extremely dehydrated once more. Sliding on some slippers, you made your trek toward the kitchen.
As expected, the boys were still in the living room conversing. There were at least 3 empty wine bottles now, with the fourth one being poured by Jungkook himself. You sauntered into the kitchen, your hands reaching for a cup on the top cabinet before slinking toward the cooled stainless steel fridge. As the water light tinged a light blue while water was being dispersed, your ears caught a bit of the topic in question.
“Yah, I didn’t realize that my love life is that sad,” Taehyung laughed acridly. “Like, am I really incapable of keeping someone interested?”
You snorted to yourself, knowing the answer. Taehyung was the worst at commitment out of all of them.
“I can’t speak for you buddy,” Hoseok smacked his lips together. “You kind of messed up with Jennie. Now she’s back with that guy now, huh?”
“Don’t remind me of it please.”
All three of them laughed heartily.
You began downing the water, turning around toward them. Jungkook’s body was facing you, although you were sure he couldn’t see you from the very faint glow of the countertops. He was incredibly drunk and stretched out on the sectional, scrolling through his phone as Taehyung and Hoseok were in their own worlds sitting on the floor.
“Yah, Jungkook,” Hoseok beckoned.
“What?”
“Have you ever been in love before? I feel like you haven’t.”
Your heart started to thump wildly in your own chest as you did your best not to choke from the water. They would ask this question when you’re present.
“Ay, I have,” Jungkook defended himself, not looking up from his phone.
“Really?” Hoseok nudged the youngest’s leg, very interested. “How many times?”
Jungkook looked up, but rather than looking at Hoseok, he looked directly at you.
“Once.”
You cleared your throat, eyes immediately down toward the sink as you washed the cup furiously before putting it on the washing rack. The other two looked over as well, realizing you were awake the whole time. Before any of them could speak, you were already back in your room, deep in your sheets as you muffled your screams.
There was no way. You’re simply imagining things.
“Once.”
“Ay wake up girl, the wedding is in a few hours!” Hoseok’s sing-song voice chimed through the air as he pulled the curtains wide open. Your brain was frazzled as he started to shake you playfully awake, the room filled with his infectious laughter.
You felt weird. Surely, you were well rested after the events from yesterday, but you could’ve sworn something happened last night that you couldn’t place what it was. Your dream consisted of a snapshot of the week thus far but convoluted, and you found yourself unsure. One of the dreams you had was Jungkook confessing he was in love with you to Hoseok and Taehyung, but for some reason, that felt extremely vivid to you.
You slowly got up and began your morning routine as a whiff of toasted bread, bacon, and eggs filled the air. Hoseok was making his infamous toast for everybody, humming an unknown but catchy tune as he did so.
“Morning my dear,” he said sweetly as you made your way to the kitchen. The glass you left last night disappeared, meaning that memory you had last night was fabricated. You exhaled deeply, relieved before taking a seat on the kitchen island.
Taehyung came out from his quarters shortly after, his brown permed hair still in disarray as he yawned loudly and stretched his body out for everyone to see.
“Man, we drank so much last night,” he commented, pointing to the five empty wine bottles perched on the counter. “What time did we sleep last night?”
“Don’t know,” Hoseok chimed, plopping the scrambled eggs neatly on one of the plates of buttered toast before handing him an opened jar of blueberry jam. “Jungkookie drank the most too and he’s still not awake yet.”
You look toward the direction of Taehyung and Jungkook’s room to see it still half ajar. Loud snoring was emitting from the room itself, indicating the youngest was dead asleep.
“I’ll go wake him up,” you piped up, slipping off of the chair and making your way toward the room. Pushing the door back, you saw Jungkook’s head popping out from sheets as he continued to snore loudly into the AM hours.
Slowly making your way to the bed, you sat on the edge of the bed, leaning in to start lightly shaking him awake.
“Kook, wake up.”
He stopped mid-snore, breathing sharply before beginning to pull the sheets off of—
Jungkook was naked. Very naked.
You stood up immediately, your eyes widened at the realization that he was starting to peel off the sheets below his shoulders, exposing his upper chiseled body. He was murmuring complete nonsense in his sleep as his eyes were circling around in its sockets, waking up. You found yourself panicking, heat rising to your face as he began pushing the sheets even lower.
No. Not today.
Before you would see more, you turned around quickly and shut the door aggressively, making a beeline towards the kitchen island again.
Hoseok noticed your change in demeanor immediately as your butt slammed on the chair cushion, your eyes glued to the plate in front of you.
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Y-yeah,” you blatantly lied, picking up a fork and not looking at Hoseok or anybody for that matter. Pushing your fork into the toast in one hand and cutting up the toast in another, you were doing your best to keep it together and not replaying Jungkook’s buff chest in your mind or a flash of his well defined abs or whatever else you saw in a split second. Hell, you were sure you saw more, but you were too stunned to speak. Why you forgot that Jungkook slept naked was beyond you. You knew this about him and walked into that completely oblivious about it.
It didn’t take long for Jungkook to find clothes, wearing a fresh set of pajamas, this time a dark green see-through one out of all choices. He sat down next to you with a delivery of Hope Toast from Hoseok himself right away.
“Morning,” Jungkook greeted with the most groggiest voice, eyes blinking several times in the attempt to stay awake. He seemed oblivious to the interaction you two had earlier, unaware that you saw 80% of his bare body.
“Look at you being a total rockstar,” Hoseok complimented, in awe of his cool pajamas.
You, on the other hand, were not having a great time. His tattoo sleeve was all the way up to the top of his shoulders, peeking through in great detail through the holes. Your brain was able to delete the holes altogether, seeing the full picture in 4K. You could see his little black boxers underneath in the corner of your eye, tightly wrapped around his massive thighs.
If you weren’t noticing his body before, you were extremely distracted by it by now. The silence wasn’t helping either.
“I’m going to make some juice,” you broke the silence and got up, trying to not look Jungkook in the eye. Pulling the juicer from the pantry and the fruits from the fridge. “Who wants some?”
“Me,” Hoseok and Jungkook replied at the same time.
You began cutting up the fruits and began loading into the machine. With whatever energy you had left over, you began pushing the stick down the chamber and the frustration you had toward Jungkook. With every push, you were attempting to erase all the pent up tension away to no avail, still remembering his glances and genuine attentiveness and kindness and—
There was a bit of resistance, no, a lot of resistance. Your eyebrows knitted together as you pulled the stick up and looked inside. The orange slices you had cut up were lodged deeply in there, caught right in the middle of the dividers. You groaned, trying to fish out the contents with a nearby utensil before pathetically pushing the stick down one more in an effort to clear it.
After a few moments of struggling, you heard someone moving from their seat and heading toward you to assist you.
“Thank—”
Jungkook’s arms popped up from either side of you as both of his hands grabbed the top of yours holding the stick. He was incredibly close to you, his sturdy and buff body pressed up against yours as he grunted repeatedly in your left ear to push the contents down for you. You felt every hot breath of his, as you struggled to find your own. It felt like you two were in an embrace as your brain went to space yet again, not even catching a single break from quite literally five minutes earlier.
The slices gave way and broke apart with his strength alone as you found yourself flushing madly at the amount of contact Jungkook was initiating without warning. He must know what he was doing, otherwise it didn’t compute for you. It was one thing you saw him grow confident in making moves, but another to actually experience it yourself.
No wonder girls fell at his feet now. Jungkook is incredibly dangerous.
The whirring of the juicer droned on as you two finished the last few slices, generating more than enough juice for the three of you. You shut the machine off while he took the stick from you to clean it immediately. You turned around to see Taehyung and Hoseok whispering amongst each other before separating a millisecond after, pretending it didn’t happen, looking in opposite directions.
Shut up.
It didn’t take long for you guys to get ready for the wedding. Well, at least for Taehyung and Hoseok anyway. Taehyung had to leave immediately after he finished his breakfast to be a part of the groomsmen (in which he reluctantly said yes for, as he hated being a part of anything that required actual work) and Hoseok had to set up the audio equipment for music. It left you and Jungkook alone again for most of the day from the ceremony itself to even sitting together at the reception. It was an open reception by the beach filled with candlelights and leis everywhere, making it a very typical but beautiful island destination wedding.
You wore a simple YSL black dress with a heart print on it as Jungkook wore a very casual black leopard print suit. It would be a lie to say that he didn’t steal the show away, gathering a great deal of interest amongst the wedding guests.
As the night progressed after the usual wedding moments passed, you found yourself downing a few drinks and there (open bars were great!), grooving along in your seat and eating what was left of the wedding cake that was served an hour ago. Jungkook was beaming and cheering his former water polo mates on, occasionally hollering and hooting whenever someone busted into a head spin or other ‘90s dance moves they were too young to partake in at the time of popularity. You laughed and egged them on as well, leaning against your chair as Hoseok finished up his set with Beyoncé’s “BREAK MY SOUL”.
In the middle of it, you felt a tap against your shoulders. Looking up, you realize Jungkook was gesturing to you to come with him to dance. You smiled warmly, grabbing his hand as he navigated through the guests to the dance floor. He had taken off his jacket at this point, his white satin shirt billowing in the cool breeze as his sleeves were pushed up to his elbows to alleviate the heat. Hoseok was right; he really was a rockstar.
Just as you two began to groove along with the music, the audio was cut off unexpectedly, followed by major mic feedback that irritated the guests.
“Ah, sorry,” Taehyung stumbled on the stage, his hand extended in apology as the other was gripping the mic rather tightly. He changed out of his formal wear for a lighter blue Hawaiian shirt and white pants, adorning 4 different leis that were put on him throughout the night and it was clear he was incredibly drunk. Not realizing he was yelling, he continued, “SORRY, I just want to dedicate this song to my man Wooshik who not only is my favorite guy in the fucking world but…”
He exhaled, sniffling a bit.
“...you deserve a happy life and a happy wife. Congrats man.”
Taehyung gestured to Hoseok to start the music and so he did.
The lights began to dimmer as Taehyung began his rendition of “Unchained Melody” as his deep voice echoed throughout the beach landscape. The guests who were formerly getting wild were paired up almost instantaneously, grabbing their partners to slow dance.
You stood there in horror as Jungkook chuckled to himself, his hands on his hips.
“He would do this, that bastard,” he cursed to himself, his ears turning incredibly red. You flushed as well, not really sure of what to do.
“We can sit back down,” you suggested, already starting to turn back towards your seat, but Jungkook grabbed your hand, pulling you toward him. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you instinctively rested your arms around his neck, mind just dizzy.
“No, let’s dance anyway. Fuck Taehyung,” he chuckled, swinging the both of you ever so slowly to the beat.
As the song progressed and Taehyung began to croon through the high notes to much fanfare, you found yourself slow-dancing with your childhood best friend, turned enemy, turned friends again against the backdrop of one of the most beautiful places in the entire world. As the string lights began to flicker on slowly for the ambiance, you could see the warmth in Jungkook’s eyes reflecting on the light.
It felt like you two were teenagers again, not knowing anything else besides school and pop culture. He was your first slow dance at your middle school prom, and you could remember him and his braces grinning at you with excitement. This time, he was older, his smile was more reserved, soft and gentle as he always was with you. All the memories of you two together for the past week started to come together as you wished you had more time to spend with him, more time to laugh with each other instead of the last 48 hours. Three years felt like eternity, but this past week felt even longer than that.
“You look beautiful tonight,” Jungkook said breathlessly. Your heart skipped a beat once more. You? Beautiful? He was perfect.
“You too,” you replied, making sure he felt the same.
He leaned closer to you and gripped you tighter. His eyes suddenly turned dark as his smile fell a bit. You looked at him with confusion, unable to piece it together.
All the words he wanted to say were forming in his brain as it began spilling out once more.
“I’m sorry.”
Sorry?
“I’m sorry for abandoning you…for…” he stopped for a moment, clearing his throat a bit, breath seeping in alcohol. “...for leaving you to deal with that fallout, that heartache by yourself. I was so selfish back then and I’m so sorry.”
As Taehyung reached the highest notes, Jungkook started shaking a bit and not from the cold. He had more to say. Your stomach was bubbling with acid as you felt your throat tighten, feeling a bit sick. The drinks were catching up to you, and it was compounded by the weight of emotions you were feeling up until this point. It was being validated, but you had a sickening feeling where it was going.
🎶 And time goes by so slowly,
And time can do so much 🎶
“You’re right. I thought I was the man, the top of the world. I thought maybe, just maybe, I would find myself, like I can change everything about me or something. And then I realized…”
🎶 Are you still mine? 🎶
“...I realized that I just needed you.”
You felt incredibly nauseous at this point and as Taehyung kneeled to the ground behind you next to the groom and his new bride with a crowd cheering him on, you felt the need to throw up and it was definitely not on the dance floor.
Before you knew it, Jungkook was leaning in closer to you, closing his eyes. Unfortunately, you couldn’t take it anymore.
🎶 I need your love 🎶
You unwrapped your arms off of Jungkook’s neck and turned around immediately, eyes looking toward the nearest exit. You could feel Jungkook’s grip loosening fast as you left the dance floor almost immediately and to the outskirts of the reception. You knelt down and unloading the bile that was pushing up your throat for the past five minutes onto the clear white sand. Tears formed in your eyes as you began wiping away the fluids from your face as you continued to cough and spit toward the ground.
The world was shifting underneath you as you stumbled back up slowly, hearing faint clapping ringing in your ears. Your mind was also swirling in the same fashion, unable to digest what just happened.
Here you were, on the last night of your trip, slow dancing with your childhood best friend only for him to dump you a boatload of intense human emotions. Sure, you forgave him for saying those words and perhaps for the lost time, but this whole thing of him realizing his fuckboy era was a distraction from him actually missing you. You wondered if this was a huge game to him or if he was being serious. If he had feelings this whole time, why was he slipping in the middle of the night every night for the past week in the arms of other girls? Why didn’t he say anything at all while you were with your ex? You didn’t have the patience anymore to be played, and truly, Jungkook was driving you insane.
It didn’t take long for him to find you kneeled over by the sand staring at your vomit as he called for you, asking if you were okay. He knelt down too, putting his hand on your back. You had enough.
You finally mustered up the courage to say it.
“What…what the fuck is wrong with you?”
“What?”
You turned toward him, standing back up.
“What is wrong with you? Like, what is your end goal here?”
Jungkook followed suit, his eyes flickered from your question.
“I don’t have one.”
You grinned bitterly.
“You…you spent the past three years disappearing off the face of the planet ‘exploring yourself’ and now you’re telling me you were actually lost and confused? And…” you stepped closer to him. “And you needed me? Needed me for fucking what?”
You scoffed, extending your arms out in frustration and confusion. Jungkook on the other hand, was making himself smaller, his hands tucked away in his pockets as he was searching for an answer himself.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know.”
“No, I do know,” Jungkook corrected himself, inhaling sharply, his eyes everywhere else but you. He groaned in frustration, his shoulders lifting up into a shrug. “I don’t know, what the hell do you want me to say? That I fucking missed you? That I…” he swallowed, crossing his arms, “...that I wasted my early twenties away to forget you? Is that what you want me to say?”
He exhaled sharply, his eyes closing ever so slowly out of frustration. You were stunned, trying to defend yourself.
“Well no, but—”
“But what?” he rebutted. “You think I’m this huge fuckboy with no morals or whatever, but honestly, do you wanna know where I went for the past week? I wasn’t fucking anybody, you know. I was outside at every bar we went to, angry at the fact that you spent the past week ignoring me like I was nothing to you. Like, was I really nothing to you this whole time?”
“You…” Jungkook grimaced, biting his bottom lip. “You said you were okay with me spreading my wings, but you had no idea what I was going through, how much I longed to be with you instead of seeing you with that asshole. You wanted me to be there for you when you two finally broke it off, but fuck, I couldn’t. I had to get away and forget everything, forget about you.”
You were eerily quiet, unable to say anything. Although you chalked up his downward spiral and your engagement happening at the same time to be a pure coincidence of you two going in very different life paths, it didn’t occur to you that your engagement was the catalyst for everything else. It made sense to you.
Jungkook’s voice was trembling.
“You know, I wasn’t even formally invited to this wedding. Taehyung asked me about being his plus one and I said no. It wasn’t until he mentioned you were coming, I finally decided to go because…I guess, I wanted to be able to tell you all of this, for you to finally take me seriously.”
You got very tense, already about to see what was going to happen.
“Kook—” you began to interject.
“I’m in love with you, okay?” he put his hands up in defeat. “It’s really just that. Maybe you didn’t see it before, but I always have. I just got lost in between trying to forget that I did. Can you really blame me for that?”
He started laughing indignantly, tears forming in his eyes. He knelt down soon after, hands buried in his face. He was unraveling in front of you, more vulnerable than he has ever been. You always thought Jungkook’s heart hardened after his misadventures for the past few years, but the man still wore his heart on his sleeve as he always did, still sobbing his eyes out as if it was his first heartbreak ever in his life. You wondered how long he must have felt this way, how much pain he must’ve felt when you first told him you loved that ex of yours. Self medication was never a good look on anybody, and he was the worst when it came to drinking until he forgot even before things spiraled out of control.
This whole time you felt that your worst years of your life were purposely missed by your childhood best friend, but in reality, he was suffering at the same time in a much different way. If only you knew then rather than harboring so much resentment toward him for the past three years. You accused him of being a terrible friend, but truly, you weren’t there for him either. Instead, you casted his phase as him wasting his life away.
“Jungkook…” you called out his name softly, leaning down to his level to touch the top of his head gently, rubbing it. “I’m so sorry I didn’t see how much you were hurting yourself. I should’ve been there for you…”
It didn’t matter anymore. You couldn’t make up for the lost time and the words and actions that could’ve been said or done. If anything, you didn’t deserve him, and yet, he still wanted to be with you. Why, you wondered.
He continued to sob loudly, hiccuping from time to time in attempts to catch his breath. Fully leaning onto you, he embraced you as you two fell into each other, not saying much.
There were too many emotions still swirling in the air, and you didn’t want him to say more things that ached your heart more and more. The more you thought about it, the more you wanted to blame yourself for not seeing what was right in front of you the whole time. Even the words “I’m sorry” weren't cutting it anymore. You didn’t know how else to make him less hurt than just resurfacing your buried feelings for him, but even then, it wasn’t fair for him. He had years on you while you went and loved another man completely.
Absolute silence fell between the two of you as he lifted his head up finally to meet your eyes again. He was in a lot of pain, and you couldn’t stand seeing more of it. You wanted it to go away, and you wanted him to forget all of it.
And so you leaned in and your lips touched his ever so lightly. He didn’t take long before he pushed his lips deeper into yours, sealing a deep and passionate kiss between the two of you. Your lips dance in between his as his mouth opens for you, taking you all in. You found yourself taking a light gasp before following along with the rhythm, your hands cupping the sides of his face. His arms enveloped your whole body, holding tightly as if he wasn’t going to let go anytime soon. For minutes you two were just like that, deeply exploring each other for the first time, one of the potential many times after.
As you two slowly retracted from each other, he let go with his lips pursed together in a soft pout, his eyes still swirling in its sockets. You could tell his mind was pulling in so many different directions like yours, having a hard time fully grasping the weight of what happened. There wasn’t really much to say, and with everything unfolded the way it did, it was best to just let the moment sink in for the night and figure out what was next later.
It didn’t take long before both of you realized that the reception had been over a while ago as there weren’t that many guests remaining and the clean up crew had arrived. You pulled yourself back up with Jungkook doing the same as well, wiping his knees clean of the specks of sand stubbornly still attached to his designer pants.
Silently, the two of you started walking back toward the car with Hoseok and Taehyung present, faces spelling massive worry.
“Where the hell were you guys?” Taehyung interrogated, enveloping you in a towel as Hoseok gave Jungkook’s jacket back to him. “We’ve been calling you for the past fifteen minutes.”
He was right. You opened your phone to see a flurry of messages and missed phone calls from the two.
“Sorry…” was all you could muster at that point. Your mind was clearly elsewhere and you were in need of a shower and a nice warm bed. “We uh…had a bit of a serious private conversation, that’s all.”
That was all you could really say without divulging more before pulling yourself up into the van with Jungkook following suit, seated closely next to you. The other two immediately took notice of your guys’ sudden closeness, but rather than teasing the two of you about it, stayed quiet.
“Yeah,” he agreed blankly, also not giving much away. “It was much needed.”
You two exchanged glances at each other, having so much to say but not enough time to say it. Surely, it was the beginning of a next chapter together, and frankly, both of you weren’t sure if any of you were ready for it. But truthfully, truly, who really is?
“Well, you guys sure looked rather cozy with each other tonight,” Taehyung quipped from the passengers’ seat with the sun visor mirror fully open and on as the van took off, leaving the shore behind. He was allegedly checking out the current status of his face, but you could tell he was monitoring the two of you in the back being way too comfortable with each other.
Jungkook couldn’t help but to return a silent smirk to himself, looking outside to the city lights. Instinctively, he grabbed your hand, intertwining his tattooed fingers with yours without much thought.
“Of course. We’re an item now, didn’t you know?”
- end -
#jungkook#bts#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#writing#mine#i spent the ENTIRE day writing this i'm quite literally unhinged goodbye#i haven't written angst in a while and man i was rewriting shit like wild during the climax like idk how u people do it#anyway everyone's an idiot ok but i DO see taehyung just going up on stage at some wedding very drunk and singing passionately#as if he was the one getting married and keep saying sorry abt it bc that's very Taehyung of him#and yeah yeah yeah the fuckboy!jungkook trope is overused but you KNOW WHAT. i love fuckboys eat my whole ass idk#do not kill me for not adding the fawking i swear i'm terrible at it like it won't just dilut e the story overall#accept these crumbs friends 🤲🏻#yes i am posting this at 3 am pacific time. y'all can read i'm sure it will not flop!
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For Lovers Who Hesitate
⤍ Pairing | Jeon Jungkook x Reader
⤍ Genre | computer science major!jk, animation major!reader, fake dating/relationship, jk and reader are similar in age (barely mentioned), both go to a made up, prestigious university in south korea for the sake of my sanity, jk is frustrating and has terrible morals in this fic, golden retriever personality!jk, technically) fuckboy!jk, hopeless romantic!reader, female reader with she/her pronouns (reader can be any sexual orientation, up to you :))
⤍ Summary | All you wanted for your love life was a secure, loving relationship with your soulmate. Unfortunately, your fat, dumb crush on Jeon Jungkook doesn’t help you at all. Jungkook isn’t into relationships, only leading girls on when he needs a good night. You knew that about him, it wasn’t something he tried to hide (he never talked about himself, but never once denied rumors). Despite knowing this, you confessed your feelings for him.
↳ Warnings | mature themes (mainly cursing and smut)
↳ Word count | 2,065... something, I started editing last minute
↳ A/N: Ughghghhghh I hate how I portrayed Jungkook in this story, bro makes me so frustrated and I’m the one that wrote him LOL.
You can check out more of my works on my AO3 and instagram! lovelyjin22
Butterflies.
It was the only word you could use to explain what you were feeling right now. You were never the patient type when it came to crushes, always eager to meet “the one”. Confessing to your crushes was always terrifying as the first, yet somehow you always ended up in this kind of situation.
In high school (especially senior year), you confessed to most of your crushes. Unfortunately, most would reject you. It was always the same reason, that you didn’t know each other very well. It was a good reason, to be fair, you did barely know your crushes before jumping the gun. But isn’t that the point of dating? To get to know each other? Your confessing spree got worse in senior year, with a total of eleven crushes and eight confessions. Most of them you (probably) gaslighted yourself into liking because you were bored. But nothing really stopped you, none of them would remember you when you went to college. You promised yourself that you would stop confessing to dumb crushes once you had a clean slate in college.
Unfortunately, Jeon Jungkook had fallen right into your heart. Something about him was so different from the other crushes. Your silly high school ones would only last a month or so if they were lucky. Yet here you were, crushing on Jungkook for a whole seven months (it may not seem like a long time for others, but to you, this was almost insanity). Broad shoulders, muscular build, the cutest smile, a laugh that was pure magic, attractive piercings and tattoos, you could go on about him for years. The guy who was able to befriend anyone lived in your head rent free for seven months. There was never a time when you weren’t thinking about him (and usually thinking of cute, couple-y scenarios… you never imagined past that to something more mature, you felt too guilty).
Surprisingly, you hadn’t confessed to him for those seven months, you really wanted it to work out with him so you managed to find some patience.
Immediately attracted to him, you had asked for his Instagram so you could talk to him. Of course, he was confused but nevertheless gave you his information. Jungkook never said no to a new friend. The two of you became good friends, hanging out with each other in person often and texting everyday. It was like you two were already dating… in fact people usually assume the two of you are dating (unless they know Jungkook, everyone knows he doesn’t date).
You knew he brought girls back to his place often, it hurt you but you had no right to be jealous. You also knew it was better to be his close friend than just being a one night stand. Jungkook usually forgot his one night stands as well, which gave girls the opportunity to become his friend right after without Jungkook realizing. You found it kind of ridiculous.
But back to the butterflies.
Jungkook was driving you back to your place. The two of you had just gone out for dinner and you had to (unfortunately) finish up homework for tomorrow’s class. There was usually never silence in your conversations, always finding new things to talk about even after seven months. You tried to bring it up casually this entire night, knowing that confessions have a higher chance of working if you’re casual about it.
“Hey, these past couple of months have been cool and I think we click really well. No pressure or anything, but I just wanted to throw it out there that I like you.”
You pat yourself on the back, your confession was smooth and the ball was in his court. Jungkook, who had his eyes on the road this entire time, finally looks over to you before facing the road again. You were already looking at him, making sure to catch his glance for eye contact. When his eyes went back to the road, you took this opportunity to (maybe definitely) check out his one-handed driving you found so attractive.
“Oh wow.”
Jungkook starts, some would assume Jungkook’s mind went a little blank, but you knew he had his rejection ready. He had rejected plenty of people in the past, basically muscle memory at this point. You start praying to every god possible that his response would be more than just that. You were sweating, would it be too obvious to roll the windows down?
“I think you’re super cool and I think we click really well too.”
Your heart starts to beat faster and you can feel your face reddening. Would this be your first success? You had calculated everything down to the last confession and you can already feel it paying off. Perhaps all those dating and crush advice articles actually work! Unfortunately, you got your hopes up too soon.
“But you already know I don’t do dating. I’m just looking for quality time with friends. I’m not really ready to invest more of my time into one person only to meet disappointment.”
You smile and hum to let him know it’s all good, no hard feelings. Your hands were definitely sweating and your fingers were definitely fiddling. His rejection was surprisingly mature and something you weren’t expecting. Of course, you were hurt, but you could understand where he was coming from.
Nodding, you laugh it off, “Ah don’t worry, I totally get that! Dating is a lot of commitment and I hope we’re able to stay good friends after this.”
He doesn’t look over for the rest of the way back to your house, “Of course we’ll stay friends, (Y/n).” You wish you could say you knew him enough to read his voice and expressions, but even after seven months you couldn’t tell what this guy was thinking. Would he really pretend like you hadn’t said anything? Knowing Jungkook and how he can do the same for other girls (who confessed to him and who fucked him), you could probably assume he would. You wish you could say you weren’t like the other girls in the long line of girls, boys, and every other person wanting to date him but you really weren’t. You wish Jungkook saw your guy’s friendship as the gem in the groups of stones or whatever the fuck the saying is, but you knew your friendship with him was only one of convenience for him. You could animate and he needed someone to animate his stupid little game. Anyone in their right mind would’ve refused to, who would spend their precious free time animating characters that fit the male gaze… you, a girl with a big fat crush on Jeon Jungkook. Hell, you weren’t even being paid enough. And it’s not like you can leave now, he’ll think you're a loser or something, he’ll think you aren’t “chill”, he’ll probably think you want to ruin a friendship over some feelings you had for him.
Jungkook isn’t like that, he’ll probably forget the next day. You were just an overthinking and a pessimist, the worst combination.
‘My Jinji’ begins to play out of his crisp, rich boy car speakers. Fuck this guy and his stupid, romantic playlist.
You tried to keep the conversation light after your confession. You didn’t want him to think his rejection would change you, it would make you seem like a bad person… right? You somehow roped him into a light (more like distracting from the previous conversation) topic of you wanting to paint your apartment’s walls (due to the apartment being a rental, you’re not allowed to paint it, but you desperately needed a change in conversation so you’ll just ignore that information for now).
You pretended his rejection didn’t hurt, but you have never wanted to curl up in a corner and cease to exist more than now. It really fucking hurt.
“I’ll text you later?” you start, you were standing next to his car with the car door open. He bends over in his seat a little to (finally) make eye contact and grins, “You better! Now hurry and close the door, there’s a car behind me and I swear they’re gonna honk at me at any moment!” You only roll your eyes (dramatically) and shut his door. He motions you with his free hand briefly to head inside and you rush into your apartment building, clutching your tote bag with both hands tightly. Jungkook was always sweet like that, he made sure to watch you go inside before he left.. even if it did mean the car behind him was honking impatiently. He probably knew what he was doing to you and everyone else when he did these things. He probably knows that he can make everyone’s hearts flutter with the smallest gestures. He probably knows that he can get away with it all because he’s hot.
“The two of you became good friends, hanging out with each other in person often and texting everyday. It was like you two were already dating… in fact people usually assume the two of you are dating” you had forgotten to add a tiny detail to this. This is the same situation most people are in with Jungkook.
You let out one final sigh of defeat, finally done over analyzing what went wrong and regretting the fact that you forgot what Jungkook’s personality is like. You shouldn’t have confessed, everyone knows Jungkook doesn’t date. Letting go of your tote bag that you had on chokehold, you decide that you just need to move on, if Jungkook can milk this friendship… then you want to do the same.
Forgetting how gross your apartment building’s stairs are, you sit on the second step and sigh (again, dramatically). Making sure to bang your head against the metal rails a good number of times. Highschool rejections didn’t hurt as much as this one did, and Jungkook’s rejection was the only mature one. Maybe this is a sign that you like Jungkook a lot more than those gross high schoolers in your past.
You definitely felt your heart squeeze in pain, it was a feeling you hadn’t felt since your first innocent confession. You could feel heat coming to your face, especially your nose and eyes. You didn’t want to cry in front of Jungkook but he’s not here right now.
Facing your chatty roommates was the last thing you wanted to do. Your never ending headache was making its appearance again and two roommates who can’t take a hint are the last thing you needed (you loved your roommates, respectfully, but sometimes you wonder how they were accepted into a top college). You don’t know how long you were sitting on those grimy steps for, but by the time your headache settles, you hear your phone ding.
JUNGKOOK
“Hey actually, can we date?”
It takes you a minute to process the short but heavy text. Your headache was coming back, didn’t he just reject you… you check the time, forty minutes ago?
You want to throw this man out the window, but unfortunately your fat crush for him slaps you in the face.
(Y/N)
“???”
As much as you want to say yes and throw yourself all over him (unfortunately, just like all the other girls), his text was odd. He had an actual reason to reject you so why would he change his ideals so quickly?
JUNGKOOK
“can i explain larer?”
You sigh, this asshole doesn’t even care enough to edit his typos and yet he has the audacity to act interested in you romantically? Just because you have a big fat crush on him doesn’t mean you can’t have dignity and self-respect.
(Y/N)
“sure.”
Funny story, you give into anything Jungkook asks because he has you wrapped around his finger. Take back the previous statement about having dignity, you have no self respect when it comes to this guy. Your headache hurts a little too much (could possibly be from slamming your head into the metal rail) so you decide to go to your apartment and stop sitting on the gross stairs.
JUNGKOOK
“dude thx 🥵”
You purse your lips and stare at his stupid, unread message. You hated that you had no backbone when it came to him. You wanted to jump with joy that he… technically(?) accepted your confession. But god, right now you were extremely confused. Whatever bullshit Jungkook just pulled on you made you question your taste in men.
(Y/N)
“you better have a good explanation 😐”
Why do you do this to yourself?
#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook#jeon jungkook#bts x reader#x reader#bts#fuckboy jungkook#jungkook smut#jungkook fake dating au
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