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#that actually makes it worse bc she loves him so much shes WAY more likely to neglect her magic studies to hang out with him instead
atopvisenyashill · 3 days
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seeing how some greens act like rhaenyra being groomed by her uncle, and subsequently being unable to let go of him, is HER personal failure turned me into a rhaenyra extremist when i simply enjoyed her character beforehand.
im really glad you're speaking about it because even though it's fiction, it still perpetuates a very dangerous rhetoric
wait this gives me an excuse to ramble, pls excuse me if i phrase things maybe a little crassly here, it’s a delicate topic i’m speaking indelicately about but also, i think i should be allowed bc [redacted] BUT-
obviously i don’t like, love, some of the changes to the show but i think the first half does a great job of setting it up to where you can see both alicent and rhaenyra are surrounded exclusively by much older men who want to fuck them, and have just no way of knowing who is being genuine with them. because no one is really! so you have episode 4, where alicent is sleeping in a room with pornographic art on the wall and being called to her husband’s bed and she can’t say no, and he’s not going to do anything to make the whole thing even marginally easier for her. and then you have rhaenyra, pulled from her bed by her uncle to a brothel, and she’s completely exposed, and she’s experiencing new things, and he’s purposefully trying to make this feel good but also overwhelming for her, then abandons her drunk & confused & half naked. this is The Same Thing - they’re both being used and manipulated by a much older man, but because that manipulation looks different, they react different. but it’s still manipulation.
yes, the type of abuse is different when it’s like, your ugly ancient grandpa grooming you vs a handsome 30 year old stranger you met online that you tell all your high school friends is your boyfriend, but ultimately, both the grandpa and the 30 year old boyfriend are abusers but more importantly, the granddaughter and the high schooler are both victims!!! i think a lot of people when analyzing this whole thing, will pin daemon as a groomer but then completely forget that this also makes rhaenyra a victim. some people will even hee hee haw haw over it because “oh your feminist icon would rather marry her groomer uncle than her gay cousin in the book” DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF. could it possibly be that rhaenyra prefers daemon to laenor because daemon has manipulated her into thinking she is only free with him? she is only safe with him?? could it possibly be that he has been giving her gifts and taking physical liberties with her for her whole life, and being the Good Cop, Sweet Confidant to her parents Bad Cop her whole life, that she feels taken in by him because he is all she knows???? in the same vein that alicent just swallows all the poison and bullshit from otto because that’s her father, and his protection is all she knows????
honestly part of like ~the discourse~ that’s most frustrating is that most greens just refuse to see rhaenyra’s pov or see that she’s also a grooming victim grasping for power to protect her own children, again just like alicent, but on the flip side, most of the analysis from the blacks side is like “if you think nyra is a victim of grooming you are just as bad as the people calling her a whore for having children out of wedlock” and like, how do you even engage with that. with either of those opinions. you can’t wksjd so if youre, ya know, like a normal fucking person who can see how both girls are being manipulated, but you have like a fondness for nyra specifically, it’s just constant bad takes. there’s nowhere to go to escape the bad takes.
i thought we had already hashed out this idea that being aware or unaware of your victimhood doesn’t suddenly mean you’re not being oppressed during the main show with arya and sansa but no, we’ve actually just taken this exact same annoying fandom discourse about which teenage girl is dealing with being abused in the most acceptable way and made it a thousand times worse.
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musubiki · 8 months
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i might have mentioned this sometime before but ive been thinking about it again: the reason why lime doesnt ask mochi out and vice versa for a while
Some time after mochi becomes a witch and lime has been in her guild, also after he becomes PAINFULLY aware of how he feels about her, theres a moment where he has a conversation with her (casual-like) fishing about how she would feel about getting a boyfriend. as long as hes known her, shes never gone on a date with anyone, no ones asked her out, and shes never mentioned having a crush on anyone to him. so during some conversation about something or another, he asks something along the lines of "Well when you get a boyfriend, he's gonna need to be okay with your weird witchiness I guess haha-- (lowkey interest check)"
and his plan here was IF she answers to some extent that she would like a boyfriend, he would ask her out. but instead she kinda smiles a bit and falls quiet, before responding "If I could have one..."
and when he asks what the hell that even means, she tells him the same thing pom and tiramisu told her when she first became a witch: "This isn't just some happy fun times, willy=nilly side hobby you treat carelessly. Your family legacy and more importantly, your life, are both constantly at risk and you need to always be focused on learning and mastering your magic as it grows. To that end, you don't have time to date and be in a relationship-- it'll only be a distraction to you and a weakness that can be exploited. You'll constantly be split between your magic and your partner. Either you won't be fully committed to your studies to spend time with them, or you won't be fully committed to them because of your studies. It's not a luxury you can afford. Until this is complete and you have full mastery of your magic to the point where you're not constantly in a state where you need to fight for your life, having a boyfriend is advised against."
and lime just kinda stays quiet for a bit, before going "...so no boyfriend until the magic shit is all done..."
and in his head hes thinking yeah, fine, that makes sense. I dont want to be a burden to her or distract her, and I dont want to cause more stress for her because pom is like an asian mom that constantly will remind her about what a bad decision it is. and this ALL hinges on the event that she wants to date him and it doesnt ruin their friendship. so he eventually decides fine. ill hold off on it for now, just be there for her however i can and i'll ask her out when this whole thing is done (and in the meantime, maybe i can gauge how much she likes me if at all, and if not i can try to get her to fall for me)
(worth noting he WANTS to ask her out right before the timeskip happens, something like "Hey we should go get ice cream tomorrow-- you know, to celebrate your magic reaching its full power and all." (where he was gonna ask her out for real), and she smiles and says "Sure!", but pom already told her she was leaving that night, and by the next morning shes gone)
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julesnichols · 1 month
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One day (when I've slept enough to both remember enough to make all of my points and be coherent) I'll explain what I meant when I joked about Sophie being worse
#about me#bc i do have Thoughts. and also i did Not mean that negatively lmfao#i love women who are worse! she is not even the worst character i've stanned#arguably that award goes to melanie cavill#but it's not Negative and it sure as hell does NOT mean that i think that nate isn't also deeply deeply flawed#or that she corrupted him somehow#enabled him sometimes? yeah. but he was already either Like That or on the path to being Like That#but like i said that meme works both ways and that's why they work#i will also elaborate on what i mean by that when i'm not so exhausted#she's his compass. she didn't intend to make him worse nor did she#she made him better. he made her better. they balance each other as much as they clash with one another#anyways all of my reasoning for why i felt like i could say she's worse for that meme#do not even have to do with nate lmfao#when i make this post tho i will be Open to civil debate for people to share their povs of why they don't think the same way#that's kinda the other reason why i'll make it though#bc i did Not spend enough time on that meme to be more than mildly irritated by some of the commentary#but i also don't want it totally derailed when i think it's def smth that could be an interesting discussion to be had#and i'll gladly host that discussion when i'm not dying of sleep deprivation#i just wanna give it its own platform y'know?#i don't want it to get lost on a silly little meme#but anyways it's also like#his influence did make her better and hers made him somewhat better too#but in his case her influence more like. balanced him. than anything else#bc he got worse and worse and it had Nothing to do with her#but she was still the one yanking him back from the edge of no return#and i suppose in a way that does inherently make her better#but again when i made that meme and said she was worse i was not even thinking in terms of her actual relationship to nate#as what made her worse lmfao#more along the lines of the collateral damage mostly done by charlotte prentice#and specifically to william and astrid
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yesimwriting · 6 months
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Heyy ya!! Hwo you doing? I wanted to ask maybe you can write Coriolanus x reader when he gets to district after just finishing training for pacekeepers, or maybe where his tribute just arrived to the capitol and the reader maybe says the “what does my mentor do besides bring me roses?” Line? ❤️
A/n the turn around for this was so fast for me 😭 i got excited
hi!! i love these prompts and am so glad for the excuse to write something for him 😭,, also i didn't blatantly make the reader the district 12 tribute bc i didn't want to necessarily cute lucy gray out all together, but it's clear that she's from a poorer district and that being assigned to mentor her is an insult to the Snow name,, also reader pulls a katniss and volunteers for a younger family member bc the irony of that scratches an inch in my brain
Summary: After the very public slight of being assigned to mentor a female tribute from a lower district, all Snow can think about is the uphill battle that winning the Plinth prize will now be. Until, he realizes, that he's been given the first ever district volunteer who seems to have a quality that makes people care about her.
Warnings: my first time writing for a specific character, Coriolanus's internal thoughts are a little softer than they should be at some points but i love the accidental and deeply impractical crush trope so
---
Of Angels
The desperation masquerading as fierceness behind her eyes is undeniable. Coriolanus feels the way your panic, your shock as the weight of your own words dawn on you in his chest. He swallows, forcing down the feeling.
Take me--take me instead! The phrase is repeated again and again, shaky and pleading.
Something about the display, about the 12-year-old girl that desperately tries to cling to you as peace keepers push you forward, makes it hard to watch. Even worse, it makes it impossible to look away.
The first ever district volunteer. A suicide mission or a--a desperate call for attention? A decision made out of hysteria that you're already starting to regret?
He can't decide as the footage of you being ushered onto stage is played. Surely, Dr. Gaul and other Capitol officials won't find this acceptable. The concept of volunteering has always been reserved for the careers, the districts that produce well fed children that train for this. It's a way to allow them to pick their best, their strongest. It is not a way for someone to lay down their life for someone else.
"Are you saying you volunteer?"
You blink, eyes wild and bright as you openly survey the crowd. Coriolanus briefly thinks that you might attempt to take what he doubts is an actual out. You seem to be considering something before finally nodding once. The motion so stiff it makes you look smaller, like the girl whose name was originally called.
"Yes," you mumble. The softness of it is a personal accost. Your choice was made in panic, but that isn't who you are. You're not much of a performer or a fighter or even bold...you're not much of a chance at the Plinth Prize. "I-I volunteer."
----
In the end, he had come because of Tigris. She had insisted that there was a way to see his tribute as more than just another face from the districts, as more human than animal.
She loves that little girl enough to die in her place. If I was her, I'd want someone to tell me that my choice meant something. I'd want someone to show that they care about me.
The words had felt dismissible at first, but the more he thought about them, the more it made sense. Panem had seen the entire thing, had seen the way that his tribute continued to comfort the younger girl even after sentencing herself to death. There's a story worthy of a show in that.
If he can convince you to go on camera, to speak of the girl, of the choice...maybe he'd have a chance at his future. And if the public support manages to help you in some way or another, that'd only be an additional benefit. You love that girl enough to die for her, maybe that means you love her enough to fight tooth and nail to live for her as well.
The train that stops at each district pulls to a stop. The doors open, releasing the sound of tributes that are learning the consequences of attempting to cause issues for the peacekeepers.
A boy he vaguely recognizes steps out, and then a younger girl. Are you one of the tributes already risking their lives in an attempt to aggravate peacekeepers? Or maybe you're cowering at the back of the train, clinging onto the safety of a familiar space.
You prove to be neither. You emerge from the train, perfectly in tact and stable.
Coriolanus parts his lips, yet no words manage to come out. You're different in person, the white you're dressed in is objectively dirtier than it was when you were reaped and yet somehow, here in the dim, gray station it feels brighter. A stray beam of sunlight breaking through a cluster of clouds. A promise that the storm will end soon and that the angels have yet to abandon the earth.
Your dress is a simple thing, loose enough to be a hand-me-down or maybe even borrowed, the lace of the skirt falling farther down your knees than it should. That paired with the ribbon scraps tied to each side of your head make you look younger and cruelly innocent.
"Hello." The blandness of his own beginning forces a burning sort of regret to take over his chest. You attentively turn, expression kind and expecting. It only makes the embarrassment he doesn't fully understand scorch him from the inside out with more violence. He's once again struck with the desire to look away and finding himself incapable of doing so. "My name is Coriolanus Snow, and I'm your mentor."
You nod, features hardening. You've pieced it all together--his appearance, what he's saying, and where you are. He's revealed himself as part of the Capitol and now you can no longer watch him with kind, accepting eyes. The look you're giving him is almost enough to make him wish he could have presented this differently.
Coriolanus extends an arm, the carefully chosen pure white rose an olive branch. You blink, eyebrows drawing together before you slowly reach out and take the flower by its stem. Your fingertips brush against his own, the warmth of your skin is so shocking he has to remind himself not to flinch.
"A mentor?" You repeat the word like your only reason for doing so is to try out the foreign word on your tongue. "Does everyone get one or am I just lucky?" You look down at the rose you're now holding. "Or has the rumor that I'm a rebellion trick spread to the Capitol?"
The last question genuinely surprises him. It shouldn't, there had been some talk about why anyone from a poor district would ever choose to go into the games. The way you and the girl you saved reacted to each other could have been staged...but Coriolanus didn't think it was enough to warrant genuine rumors. Anyone that had looked at your eyes and seen the fear in them would have known that it was sacrifice. Is sacrifice. That girl means the world to you.
"No," he starts slowly, "No, everyone gets one and no one here has any preconceptions about you."
You raise your eyebrows, making it clear that you don't believe him. No preconceptions had been a strong way to phrase things, but the urge to assure you had taken over with no warning. You then look away, glancing around to take in your surroundings.
"Then why isn't there..." You trail off, your gaze landing firmly on him. "You're not supposed to be here."
He blinks. For the first time, it feels like you're truly looking at him. His own susceptibility to your wide eyes turns his stomach. You're the one that should feel like something up for display under his stare. "No, I'm not."
The admission forces the edge of your lips to pull upwards. "Alright," you hum, "So what does my mentor do for me besides bring me roses?"
"I do my best to take care of you."
For a second, all you do is stare. He's surprised you. The realization brings him more relief than it should. "The girl who you volunteered for..."
You tilt your head downwards, hiding your expression as your fingers carefully toy with the exterior of the soft petals. "My cousin," the explanation is low, cautious, "But we uh--we're more like sisters."
An in that he doesn't even have to work for. "I understand that." You look up, not bothering to hide your confusion. Maybe you weren't expecting something so human to come out. Maybe human works for you. "During the war, we took care of each other...and then after our parents passed, we were left in the care of our grandmother."
The silence that follows is tight, straining against the sympathies you're not willing to extend to someone like him. Your lips part, and Coriolanus is disgusted by the part of him that's curious about what's going to come next.
You're pushed back with no warning. His attention snaps towards the peacekeeper who is shoving against your shoulder with more force than necessary.
"Excuse--" No reaction, no response as another peacekeeper grabs your arm. "Excuse me, I'm her--" You're being dragged away in order to be packed into another vehicle of transportation with the rest of them.
Coriolanus stays near, doing his best to never lose sight of you in the chaos. A tribute breaks free from the hold of the peacekeepers and launches his body forward. An ill thought out escape attempt. The distraction is all Coriolanus needs. This is his chance to go after you, to cement a connection that will guarantee cooperation.
It's not the distraction that gets him to move or even thoughts of the Plinth prize, it's the final flash of angel white fabric as its forced back into darkness. He rushes forward before he can overthink, entering the vehicle just as the doors shut.
----
i think i might make a part 2!!
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weneeya · 2 months
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i just saw the clingy gf x Jjk and iehuehdb omg it it was so cute, could you maybe do a part 2 with more characters, second years (esp yuta bc he has my heart omg), etc?
clingy girlfriend w/ jjk pt.1 / pt.2 m.list | rules
note. thank u sm! here come the second wave of the clingy girlfriend! put some women too bc we love them <3
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Yuta Okkotsu
shy boy, even with you 
doesn’t like you being clingy, actually loves it
wants to do the same but too shy 
Yuta wasn’t really the type to be clingy himself. First because he was always too shy, but also because he was unsure of how to do it. Thankfully, you were here to show him how to do it. 
He was currently busy on something not really important, so he didn’t hear you arriving behind him. He slightly jumped when you hugged him from behind. He started to stutter slightly and it simply made you laugh softly. You left a kiss on his burning cheek before you moved to face him. 
“How’s the prettiest boy doing?” You asked, and he simply pointed to himself to be sure that you were talking about him. You nodded and looked away, his heart starting to race really fast in his chest. “I’m fine. Better now that you’re here,” he said, stroking the back of his neck.
You thought you didn't hear him well, eyes open wide for a second. A smile appeared on your lips and you quickly took his face between your hands to make him look at you. You left a kiss against his lips, before putting your arms around his neck to hug him tightly. 
Seeing him make so much effort to give you back all the attention you were giving to him made you felt like crying. He really was the sweetest boy out there. 
Toge Inumaki
is fine with it
a bit clingy himself 
can’t talk but can show
You were talking with Maki about training, you wanted to be better and you knew that asking her was the best idea. You were focused on your conversation, until you felt a head on your shoulder. Soon, arms were around your body, hands resting against your tummy. 
You smiled softly as you put your hands against the ones which just arrived. You knew it was Toge, because the boy was as clingy as you. It wasn’t always him who was acting like this ; you were maybe even worse than him. You told Maki that you would talk to her after, before you left with your boyfriend. 
You slowly rubbed your nose against his, which made him smile and made you giggle. You were now facing him, your arms around his neck. You didn’t need to talk with him, and you loved that. You weren’t very talkative, and way more demonstrative, which was great. Your relationship was more of acts than of words and it worked well for both of you. 
Maki Zenin
not used to it 
never had a lot of physical affection, so a bit reticent at first 
let you do it anyway, starts to like it
Maki was training alone outside of the school, and you were watching her from afar. Your girlfriend was amazing, and you would always wonder how you got the chance to be with such a girl. You were looking at her with a smile on your lips, cheek in your hand. 
When she finally took a pause, she came closer to you. She put her weapon to the side, standing in front of you, who was sitting. You opened your arms without saying anything, and she was a bit surprised. She cleared her throat, a bit hesitant, and you simply waited for her to come closer. 
She bent over to hug you, but you didn’t give her the time to. You brought her closer, making her almost fall on you. In fact, both of you fell on the ground, her being on you. She quickly moved, a bit worried. But you started to laugh, a clear and lovely smile which made her smile. 
“You’re an idiot,” she said, and you simply looked at her with a bright smile. “But I’m your idiot,” you answered and she couldn’t deny it. She finally took you between her arms, you two laying on the ground. It felt great, to be loved and to have nothing to worry about.
Choso
always flustered 
loves the feeling 
tries to be more demonstrative  
You didn’t expect Choso to be here today. You were taken aback when he arrived with Itadori for the training. Your face almost immediately lit up and you rushed into his arms. You took him by surprise, he had to admit. He didn’t think you would almost jump on him just when you saw him. Both of you almost fell on the ground, and Itadori decided to leave you alone. 
“I missed you Choso,” you said and he looked away, his cheeks burning so very slightly. He would probably never get used to you being like this with him, even if he loved it so much. He looked back at you after a few seconds, clearing his throat. “Me too, I’m glad you’re here,” he answered and you felt your heart skipping a bit. 
Soon a bright smile appeared on your lips and clinged into him, hiding your face in his chest. You didn’t say anything more, just happy to see that he was starting to feel more and more comfortable. 
Shoko Ieiri 
finds it cute 
never pushing you away 
loves to give you attention 
Shoko was outside her infirmary for once, which was rare enough to notice it. She had a cigarette between her lips, looking at the first years who were training with Satoru. You were helping them, until you saw your girlfriend from afar. A smile appeared on your lips and you didn’t hesitate before joining her. 
A soft smile was drawn on her lips as you clinged yourself against her body with no hesitation. She put her cigarette away, not wanting to hurt you with the fire. She put an arm around you, resting her hand on your back. She left a kiss against your forehead and you giggled slightly. You raised your eyes to her. 
“You really are a big baby,” she said, not complaining about it though. She loved it when you were like this, it made her feel important for once ; and if she could make you feel the same way, she wouldn’t hesitate for a second.
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i love them sm if you think of others characters don't hesitate pls
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yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶
i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)
have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖
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i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...
i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned
mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭
i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔
i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends
i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about
people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled
in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol
the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭
its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭
mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)
i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.
its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!
she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!
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she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"
she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)
she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.
he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.
THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.
she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7
but again, those are the consequences of HER actions
her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭
their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"
its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!
you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)
everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.
obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.
the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"
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she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!
just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.
im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!
im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.
i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!
i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process
talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol
i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭
its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.
all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.
i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.
also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!
thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!
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slytherinshua · 4 months
Text
CHERRY BOWS
genre. fluff. cheol as a dad. warnings. toddler/parent stuff. cheol gets jelly. pairing. husband!scoups x wife!reader. wc. 1k. request. request by @blue-jisungs: you asked for soft hours n i shall give!! it’s been in my mind for a hot while actually but i’m too busy rn to do it myself… and you’re the perfect person bc U MADE ME THINK IF TJAT 🫵🫵 jealous dad seungcheol :( ofc he loves u n ur kid but give him some attention too smh >:T and requested by anon: i love your svt as dads!! they’re all so cute and i’d like to request one for cheol! a/n. i love love love dad cheol omg :( my second dad fic for him hehe <3 hes so girl dad coded and SOOOOO ADORABLE SKDJKS I LOVE HIM!!!!
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“You ate without me…?” Cheol’s sleepy mumble was the first thing you heard from him. He had tiredly trudged downstairs when he had woken up and you weren’t next to him in the bed. It was already a bad start to the day when that happened, and he was frowning and pouting and generally sulking about it by the time he found you.
He wrapped his arms around you from the back, trapping you in the middle of the living room so you couldn’t continue without giving him the attention he needed. You smiled at his clinginess and deep raspy morning voice, but scoffed at how baby-like he was in the morning. Sometimes he acted even more like a child than your actual child.��
Eunha was your now 2 year old daughter. She was adored by everyone and constantly doted on. She could be a handful at times, but only because she had started to take after your bossiness and knew exactly how to appeal to Seungcheol. If she ever wanted something, all she had to do was look at them with those big boba eyes that she got from him, and he’d be folding.
He loved her more than anything. Probably even more than you, but you were okay with it. It warmed your heart how much he cared for his daughter. He’d die for her in a heartbeat without a second of hesitation. You were learning more and more every day the love a father could hold for his children. You had expected this attitude when you married him, of course. Because you knew him and you knew how caring he was. He was so filled with love for people and the world, and you were so lucky to have him.
Starting a family had always been a dream for both of you, and Eunha’s birth had been your biggest blessing. It was challenging to take care of a toddler, but you and Cheol always did your best.
Eunha was happily playing with her toy dolls after eating breakfast— the entire living room spread with her mess. It was always a constant of cleaning her toys in the evening just for her to make a new mess the next day, but you didn’t mind. It was worth it to see her so happy, and though it could be stressful to have a messy space sometimes, her happy giggles made up for it.
“Were you playing dolls with her without me as well?” Cheol asked, the pout he was wearing somehow finding its way into his tone. You giggled and he squeezed you tighter out of jealousy. He didn’t want to admit that he missed your attention being only on him, but it was true. 
You were getting up earlier to feed Eunha and play with her in the morning. The sleepy morning cuddles that Cheol looked forward to every time he fell asleep next to you were becoming rarer and rarer and he felt bitter about the change. It just wasn’t the same with Eunha. It wasn’t worse, it was definitely better in most aspects, but the free time that he had enjoyed before was being sucked away by the little child.
“She wanted me to be the doctor.” You told him, explaining the dynamics of Eunha’s favourite game. She would be the mother to her little baby doll, and either Cheol or you would usually be the doctor.
“The bed was so cold without you…” He murmured, pushing his cheek against your neck. His skin was warm against yours and you leaned into him more, savouring the feeling.
“I’m sorry. You know that Eunha likes to get up early…” You whispered.
“She should’ve woken me up instead of you. Aren’t you tired?” 
“A bit. Eating breakfast with her was nice, though. She insisted on having strawberries with her yogurt since she had seen me eat it like that once.” You smiled. Seungcheol pouted.
“I thought I was her favourite…” He was mostly joking, of course, but slightly hurt. He had always been susceptible to jealousy. Maybe he was a little too greedy— he loved watching you and Eunha spend time together, but he also hated being left out.
Your little moment of warm embrace was interrupted after 2 minutes, a giggly Eunha running up and clinging to her father’s leg. She babbled something about her doll and wanting to get ice cream later today, which you were sure Seungcheol would indulge her in. He spoiled her too much.
You were happy to see your husband’s pout lift up into the sweetest of grins. He picked up Eunha, holding her so that she was resting on his hip. He kept one arm around you; almost if you would run away and leave him if he didn’t. Which was probably partially true since you hadn’t cleaned up from breakfast yet.
“Give daddy a kiss?” Cheol asked Eunha, giggles ensuing amongst both of them. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek cutely and you smiled. Now that Seungcheol was awake as well, the two would be inseparable for the rest of the day— especially since Cheol didn’t have any work to get to.
The morning happily proceeded with a small second breakfast and playtime. Now that your husband was being included in every activity, he was all smiles and giggles. He liked being the centre of attention; you had discovered that fact throughout the years. He was the happiest man in the world when he knew he was making his daughter happy.
Her happiness always came first, even when it relied on Seungcheol’s hair being tied up in pigtails with little cherry-coloured bows because Eunha wanted to play hairdresser. You were almost envious of how cute he looked in them. It was impossible not to love everything that Cheol did.
Along with the bows came matching sweaters with a cherry pattern for father and daughter. One look at the two and you could easily declare them the two cutest human beings in the entire world.
↳ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-redhair,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @skz-minchan-enthusiast,, @shuabby1994,, @icyminghao,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @edensgardenn,, @wonwooz1,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cienlvrs,, @amara-mars
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leqonsluv3r · 3 months
Note
picnic date with Leon 🥺
love
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re2!leon kennedy x f!reader
— a oneshot (request)
warnings: so much fluff it’s kinda gross, a little touching, mentions of sex, reader is female and uses (she/her) pronouns, leon is the best boyfriend ever and we love him for that, no physical description of reader except that she has hair, pet names (baby, sweet girl, etc.) based heavily on love by lana del rey (leon is lana coded bc i say so).
“she didn’t know what else to expect to her already worse work week, besides the papers that always seemed to pile up on her desk and swarm her like a colony of hungry bees. she hated her job, wanted to slap her boss and her co-workers. so how could this week get any worse? she thinks it will when her phone buzzes with a text from leon, only to find out if she wants to go on a picnic date this weekend. suddenly, her week just got better by a thousand percent.”
— or reader is having a terrible week and leon decides to spoil his favorite girl
an: thank you for the request, i loved writing something that wasn’t pure smut for once. did include a little seggsy tho (i can’t resist). gave my overworked brain a little vacation lol. i took your idea and ran with it, hope you enjoy <3
masterlist taglist
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she actually hated her boss. hated him.
aside from spilling coffee on herself this morning before she left for the office, she had a thousand reports on her desks and emails flooding her work inbox. her boss went on a rant about her work performance and the fact that he was almost using his superiority as a manager to make her feel belittled was enough to send her blood pumping through her veins.
but mindlessly, she tried to get through her day. taking deep breaths and trying not to freak out on her boss. only did her day get worse when she overheard gossip in the break room.
“i hear she’s like some prude. her boyfriend only touches her when he’s drunk.”
she listens in on the gossip, pouring herself some coffee that hopefully won’t make its way onto her pencil skirt again. she wondered who they could possibly be talking about so openly in the middle of the day in the break room.
the other voice goes on, one of her coworkers that she knew from working here so many years, “that’s not true. i know her personally. she told me she’s waiting for marriage.”
her ears perk up at this, all the blood draining from her face, she knew they were talking about her now. her worst fears have been confirmed. she should’ve never stupidly trusted someone she worked with to keep such information about her relationship with leon, private.
she felt so stupid. but they kept going and she kept listening. the other women who she didn’t know opened her mouth again, “still, how much of a prude do you have to be to wait until marriage? like just fuck and get it over with already. unless he’s ugly…”
she feels anger rise in her like tsunami. leon? ugly? he could never be ugly. he was so fucking beautiful. how could this random woman even say that about her and her relationship without even knowing her? she kept her back turned and waited for the coworker she was more familiar with to say something.
“he’s actually quite a looker. shame she got her hands on him, if i had a man like that. i would fuck him until he couldn’t see straight.” she fisted her porcelain coffee cup with white knuckles, almost fuming and waiting for steam to pour out of her ears. jesus, she wanted to smack this woman silly, she considered them friends and now she was just so openly bragging to another woman of the company…that she wanted to fuck her boyfriend of two years.
she fumed and briskly left the break room with her coffee, slamming the door to the room shut behind her as she briskly walked back to her office, trying to keep up a demeanor that was professional and meanwhile she was seething on the inside.
she finally reached her office and went inside, slamming the door as she rounded her desk and sat her cup of coffee down on it. she leaned her elbows on her desk, burying her hands into her hands.
she wanted to cry, this week had been terrible and today was one of the worst out of all of them. and she needed to manage to get through it until after tomorrow.
thanking god it was thursday, one more day and she wouldn’t have to think of this place for a solid 48 hours. she took shaky breaths, trying to calm herself so she didn’t cry at her desk at work. she was still fuming from hearing that conversation in the break room about her personal life.
eventually, her phone buzzed on her desk and she looked down at her phone. she sighs and shakes her head, praying it’s not another report or upset client. she can’t handle anymore of that today, or this week for that matter.
she grabs her phone and looks at the contact, it was leon, she sighs in relief and smiles as she opens the text thread, looking at the screen.
LEON <3 : hey baby, just wanted to check in on my break. hope your doing okay, know it’s been a rough one for u.
besides wanting to cry at my desk all morning. first my boss says my reports are useless and utter shit. then i hear two of my coworkers gossiping in the break room about me like it’s no big deal. i hate this place, this week has sucked :(
LEON <3 : whoa, what? oh my god. are you okay? i know that’s so stupid to ask considering everything u just told me but…god. i’m so sorry.
no, i’m humiliated. i feel like stabbing my eyes out with my pencils at my desk. i hate this place, i hate everyone. minus u ofc <3
but seriously, i can’t wait to get through tomorrow and just be done with this place. even if it’s for two days.
LEON <3 : hmmm, that reminds me. do you still plan on coming over on friday night?
uhhh, yeah. considering i haven’t seen you all week. unless your canceling on me. which just makes me wanna cry more :,)
LEON <3 : oh god no, fuck that. i would never cancel on you baby. i just have an idea. and i was wondering if you would like it, considering how stressful and overwhelming your week has been.
i’m listening….
LEON <3 : you still come over on friday night, you pack a change of clothes and we go for a picnic on saturday. i know a good spot. and plus, im a good cook.
you don’t have to…
LEON <3 : but i WANT too. i wanna make my girl happy after having such an awful week. you need this baby. don’t bother arguing with me >:)
fineeee i suppose i could pack an overnight bag, stay the whole weekend at your place. go on a little picnic and ACTUALLY enjoy myself for once.
LEON <3 : that’s the spirit my love :). don’t worry, i’ll take care of you this weekend. don’t stress and don’t worry. trust in your amazing boyfriend ;)
you are an amazing boyfriend. don’t let that boost your already enormous ego though lol. god, i miss you so much. i can’t wait to see you. :,)
LEON <3 : you only have a little less then 48 hours to go before you see my handsome face again. don’t worry your pretty head baby, i’ll make you forget all about this week. spoil the absolute shit out of you. <3
okay, i gotta get back to work before my boss comes in to belittle me some more about phone usage at work :,). i’ll see you soon babe, i love you.
LEON <3 : see you soon beautiful girl, i love you too. gotta go bust some criminals lol. ttyl :)
she sighs in content, a lovesick grin on her features. she felt so much better, just talking to him through text even. it was enough to make her heart swell with love and forget all about the incidents this week.
she couldn’t wait to see him on friday night, then go on a picnic on saturday like he promised. she needed him like air sometimes. and he had been pulling shifts so frequently at the station that she barely ever saw him.
it sucked, yes. but when they did get to see each other it was absolutely worth it. she knew that he was gonna stay true to his word like he always did. make her happy, spoil her and make her forget all about her sucky week at work.
she loved him so much, it was almost consuming sometimes. overwhelming to think that before she met him two years ago, she had never known love or that men like him could even exist.
god, she was praying for this weekend to come sooner. and hopefully, it would.
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eventually she made it to friday, she managed to get through the day, working as hard as she could. she dealt with clients, dodged the lecturing of her boss and the gossiping of her coworkers.
she slipped out early, not really giving a fuck because all her work was finished as far as she was concerned. she had better places to be. like leon’s apartment for example.
she had packed an overnight bag that morning, watered her plants and made sure she had everything. she had kept her overnight bag stored in her car just so when she got off work, she could head straight over.
she sent him a text that she was off and she was heading over early, putting the car in reverse and leaving her works parking lot.
she drove down the familiar streets and roads until she made it to leon’s apartment, parking her car in the guest parking spot. she got out, grabbing her overnight bag and everything else she needed as she locked the car behind her.
she walked over to the gate to enter the complex, typing in the numbers and once it buzzed, she opened it and let herself in. she made her way up to the second floor, walking over to where his apartment was. she slipped her key to his apartment, unlocking the door and slipping off her shoes.
“baby? you home?” she calls out as she drops her overnight bag by her shoes, dropping her keys on the coffee table. she looks around, she feels a buzzing in her hand where her phone is. she looks at the text from leon saying he was on his way home from his shift.
she sighed and looked around his apartment, looking down at the coffee table where she sat her keys in front of his couch. she saw something sticking out from in between the pages of a book he was reading. “what the…?” she opened the book and looked in the book.
a piece of paper with scribbled writing over it, leon’s from what she recognized. she started to read the crumpled up piece of paper.
[READER],
ever since i’ve known you, i’ve loved you. i’ve never wanted anyone more then i’ve wanted you. i’m not just doing this in the hopes you’ll say yes, i’m doing this with the intention that you’ll let me love you for as long as we’re both alive.
i’m not doing it like this to be cliche, i know how much you think im corny. how hard i try to make sure you’re not laughing at me (even though i love your laugh more than anything.) i want you to know that i love you. i always have, i always will.
with that, will you please do me the honor of being my wife?
it would be my greatest achievement as man, as your boyfriend and future husband if you’ll let me.
she feels her eyes well up with subtle tears, wiping at her eyes as she looked down at the crumpled up notebook paper with a small smile, even though the letter didn’t say much, it said enough.
this was just more then a simple picnic, she knew now. why he was so keen on taking care of her this weekend. taking her out for a picnic tomorrow. she can’t believe he wanted to marry her, she wasn’t shocked but she was…she wanted to cry. it was almost like a dream come true.
she was about to re-read the note to make sure she wasn’t dreaming until she heard the lock on his front door click. she scrambled to put the crumpled up piece of paper back into the book where she found it, effectively slipping it in and standing up straight just in time as he entered the door.
“hey, honey.” he says with a small smile, kicking off his shoes. he wore his police uniform still, all pristine in pale blue and navy. she swallowed and wiped at her eyes, “hey.” she shuffles towards him and wraps her arms tightly around him.
he noticed the sniffling and the watery eyes, he craned his neck down to look at her face that was pressed into his chest, rubbing his hands up and down her back in a soothing gesture.
“are you okay? your eyes are red.” he says softly, his voice dripping with such concern it just almost made her heart melt in her chest. she nods and squeezes her arms tighter around him, “i’m okay. i just missed you.” she lies a little, she did miss him, but that wasn’t the true reason for the red eyes.
“okay, baby. it’s okay though, we’re gonna have a good weekend and your not even gonna think about work.” he says softly as he continues to rub her back up and down in a gentle gesture, smiling down at her with a soft grin. she nods, “okay, i’d like that.” she says with her cheek pressed against his chest, sniffling.
she knew she wouldn’t think about work, work was the furthest thing from her mind right now. the only thing on her mind was the picnic tomorrow and the note she had found.
she knew he was going to purpose, she wasn’t even trying to snoop, but now she knew. she loved him even more for it. if that was even possible.
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the next day, the morning light would peak through the curtains of leon’s bedroom window. it casted both of them in a glow that was more then just a simple glow of the morning but a new day.
she loves waking up beside him, especially today when the promises of their future hang right over her head. a promise that he’s intending to keep.
she rolls over onto him as he lays on his back, giggling as she does. she presses a small kiss to his chest and then makes a path up to his collarbone, pressing a kiss to his neck. she felt herself growing more aroused by the minute.
she wasn’t a virgin, she had dated plenty of shitty guys before leon. and it isn’t like she didn’t not want to have sex with him, they just decided to wait until marriage. but now that she knew he was going to purpose today, she forgot all about that little promise she made with him.
she presses her lips to his jaw, hearing him mumble something sleepily as she grins against his skin. she leans towards his ear, “wake up.” she mumbles as she moves her hips to sit on his covered dick in his boxers beneath the sheets. her panty clad frame gently moving her hips lightly against his as she adjusts.
she feels him slightly move again, moving in his sleep so she moves her hips more firmly on him again, feeling him grow harder against the fabric that separated them. he mumbles something and she pulls her face out of his neck, bracing her palms flat on his chest.
he slowly opens his blue eyes to meet hers, his dirty blonde hair messily on the pillow. she smiles down at him with a small grin, “morning sleeping beauty.” she chuckles as she leans down to his face and presses a kiss to his lips.
his half-asleep frame is still waking up and trying to wrap his mind around everything. “what are you doing?” he chuckles with a lazy opening and closing of his blue eyes.
“what does it look like im doing?” she says with a small smirk, moving her hips again. he had no idea where this was coming from, they had agreed to wait until marriage and now…
she was straddling his waist, her wet core on top of his morning wood, there were the barriers between them but still, he could feel everything. she tilts her head innocently at him, his blue eyes looking up at her, “why are you so…? what’s gotten into you?” he says with a small furrow of his brows as he leans up on the bed, his elbows propped up behind him.
she bites her lip and looks at him, “why am i what?” she says as she bats her eyelashes at him, feigning innocence. he struggles and takes a shaky breath, “why are you like…all over me? like, we didn’t…i thought you wanted to wait.” he manages to get out with another shaky inhale.
she sighs and rubs her palms over his chest, “i want you, i’ve waited long enough. married or not, i want you.” she says with a small look, letting his blue eyes latch onto hers. she needed him to know she was serious, that this mattered.
she knew he was going to purpose soon anyways, so what was the big deal? that’s what she thought anyways. she didn’t see it as this huge thing, it would be their first time together. but…she was ready.
“unless…your not?” she says with a small sigh as she looks down at him, her palms pressed flat on his bare chest as she looked down at him. he shook his head so fast, his hair flopping as he did, “no, i want it.” he replies as he looks up into her eyes.
“anything that you want from me, i wanna be able to give it to you. even this.” she hears him say as his blue eyes never stray from his gaze on her. she smiles widely and sniffles, “god, i love you.” she whispers as she leans down and presses a kiss to his lips.
it starts slow, his hands holding onto her waist as the kiss grows more intense and passionate. her hips moving against his erection. she doesn’t fear it now, not when she knows what will happen.
not when she can trust him. she knows he’s different, he’s not like the others. she wants to give him all of her, every single part. she wants to give him marriage, her soul, her body. she wants him to have it all.
so as the kisses and the touches escalate, she feels herself trusting in him, letting his love consume her body and mind in a way she had never known before. his kisses were like rain, falling on her skin and soaking there. his touch was like fire, spreading over her body.
it was beautiful, she couldn’t wait to have him with her forever.
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the picnic was beautiful.
leon, really knew how to make her forget about her shitty work week. whether it be a picnic, their first time having sex together earlier that morning, or the proposal that has yet to happen.
he really outdid himself. just like he promised, he had cooked and packed a lunch for them by a small pond in a park. it was about a 20 minute drive from his place, how she never knew it was there, she had no idea.
it was beautiful, some swans were in the pond swimming around with their babies, made her smile and think of how leon had made this so perfect without even trying. he spread out a blanket for them, sitting the food down in the picnic basket.
she brushes her hands over her purple sundress, looking at him as he sat down and began to spread out the food for them. “wow, baby. you really thought of everything didn’t you?” she chuckles as she sits down next to him on the picnic blanket.
“of course, anything for my girl.” he says with a sweet smile in her direction as he gets wine out of the basket and two glasses. my girl…jesus, if he’s trying to make me melt, it’s working. she thinks as she watches him uncork the wine bottle, and pour them both red wine into the glasses.
“i know, you spoil me, leon. but still…” she trails off as she looks over at him, she reaches over the blanket and grabs onto his hand. she watches as the subtle breeze blows his dirty blonde hair over his blue eyes and his forehead.
he rolls his eyes playfully and scoots closer to her on the blanket, squeezing her hand back. “don’t argue with me. it’s in your best interest.” he says with a small lopsided smirk as he hands her one of the glasses of wine. she accepts and smiles back at him, sipping on the wine in her free hand.
“fine. i won’t.” she says with a small roll of her eyes, grinning at him as she swallowed the wine. letting it slide down her throat. they stayed in silence for a while, just enjoying the sounds of nature, the breeze that blowed softly and made the leaves rustle in the trees above them.
she let him dote on her a little more, still feeling that anxious bubbling in her stomach that had been occurring since last night. the note, the proposal that had yet to happen. she felt her body get amped up and she was trying not to give her hopes up.
she sipped on her wine, looking over at him as he stared off into the pond a little ways in front of them. she admired him like this, when he wasn’t looking at her. he was deep in thought, in his head and she could almost see the gears turning in his mind.
“thank you, leon.” she says as she snaps out of her daze of staring at him. she didn’t think she could ever not want to stare, admire him like a piece of art in a museum. he lets his head turn her way, looking directly at her, a gentle smile on his boyish features.
“no need to thank me. i wanted to do something special for you.” he says as he reaches across the blanket and rubs his hand over her bare knee. she nods and swallows more nerves, “i don’t need to thank you, but im going to anyways.” she giggles.
he just shakes his head with a teasing grin on his face, he doesn’t mind this. sitting here with her and knowing where it’s going. he almost feels like this can’t be real, sitting here with her. the weather’s perfect and this day is even better.
they continue to just sit together on the picnic blanket, eating and sipping on their wine. they just talk and snuggle up next to each other on the blanket.
eventually the sun starts to set, painting the sky in a beautiful pink and red hue. it almost looks like a painting and she watches it with almost admiration. he knows this is the time, the ring in his pocket burning a hole through his jeans.
she keeps her gaze trained on the sky, not even noticing that he’s staring at her with admiration. he swallows his fears, his nerves and everything that could potentially stop him from doing this.
“your so beautiful, you know that?” he starts as he looks over her features. her gaze only temporarily looking over at him, a blush coating her cheeks. this isn’t how he had planned it, but he’s gonna do this differently.
“of course you know that, i tell you all the time how amazing, beautiful and sweet you are. even to people who don’t deserve your kindness.” he says as his blue eyes stay trained on her, she smiles and bites her lip in bashfulness.
she knows something is happening, but she lets it happen. she doesn’t care…not if it’s a promise to make her happy for the rest of their lives.
“your the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he continues as he looks at her, turning his body a little towards her on the picnic blanket. the ring feels like an anchor in his pocket, keeping him tethered to the moment here with her.
“and i don’t think i’ll ever find anyone better then you, that’s honesty. your the best that’s ever going to happen to me.” he says as he looks deep into her eyes, her eyes blinking back at him as she feels her heart start to pound in her ribcage.
“and i would be a fucking fool if i went on another two years and didn’t show you how much you mean to me.” he says as he fists the ring in his pocket. she feels her heart swell and her eyes water. the smile spreading on her face is the rare kind.
“what are you…?” she says with a small look of disbelief on her face, her smile widening and the crystal of her eyes staring back at him.
he smiles with a small blink of his blue eyes that are now crystallizing over as well, he pulls his palm out of his pocket, opening it up between them to brandish a engagement ring.
she blinks her tears away, raising a hand over her mouth, trying to somewhat hide her shock. “leon…” she looks between the ring in his palm and then his eyes. this was much better then what was written on that crumpled sheet of paper.
“i love you so fucking much, i would do anything for you, to you and with you. only if you’ll let me, forever. please marry me. let me love you forever, let me wake up to you every morning. it would be the greatest honor i could ever have.” he says as he gestures the ring in his outstretched palm.
he looks at her with hopeful and love filled eyes as he does this. she doesn’t even have words, she expected it. but not like this…
this was definitely better.
and he was the love of her life, she couldn’t say no to him, not in a million years. she couldn’t dream of turning him down. of declining his proposal because he’s her happiness. even from two years ago when they met to now…
her body and mind want him the same, love him the same. she knows it will never change. not when it comes to him and just everything he does for her.
“yes…” she says as she sniffles away tears, feeling the breeze in the park billow her hair. the swans swimming idly in the pond in front of them. the sun setting in a beautiful sunset that paints the sky. he blinks at her, he doesn’t think he heard her right for a second.
“did you say…?” she laughs and looks at him, “i said yes. i’ll marry you.” she says as she feels more tears leak down her flushed cheeks. he smiles widely and grabs her hand shakily, his face coated in tears of happiness too.
he slips the ring onto her ring finger and strokes his thumb over her knuckles. he slides his free hand up to cup her jaw, rubbing the tears that slid from her eyes. “oh god, i love you.” he says in a trance as he looks at her.
“i love you too.” she says back to him, catching him in his trance of looking at her. she feels the ring on her ring finger, making its home there. she feels like she’s on cloud nine right now. he pulls her face towards him and presses a kiss to her lips.
she returns it and kisses him back, her hand, now ring clad, holds onto his face as she deepens the kiss. she doesn’t think she could ever be happier then she was right now.
in this moment with him. not a thing matters and her mind and body are full of him. she feels so consumed by him and his love that she can’t even explain it.
she’ll be wrapped in him forever and she can’t bring herself to care if she is. because at least she’s happy, happy and in love.
forever.
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leons letter:
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taglist: @heartsforvin
(go to this post to join the taglist, pls reblog and follow for more, my asks are open in my bio. i love you all <3)
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moonstruckme · 6 months
Note
Hi lovely!! How are you? I completely understand if you aren’t comfy writing this but I was wondering if you could write something with Sirius x reader where she enjoys sex but bc of how she was raised she feels guilty for enjoying it/wanting it if that makes sense? Just him reassuring her that it’s okay to want it and it doesn’t make her dirty or wrong.
Again, I completely get if you aren’t okay writing it, I love your stories so much. Thank you!!
Thanks for requesting my love!
cw: smut, mdni, reader has negative associations with sex and "impurity"
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 1k words
Sirius’ breath is hot on your ear, moving the baby hairs there slightly. You think dizzily that it’s almost like having a hair dryer pointed at you. Except a hair dryer would never say the things he’s telling you.
“There y’go.” He kisses the skin just shy of your ear, a tiny reward. “Just like—fuck, just like that. Good fucking girl.” 
The high you get from the praise comes with a bite of shame. You try to ignore the latter, fisting your hands in the covers as Sirius quickens his pace and the feeling in your core builds and builds, your cunt gripping his cock for dear life. Sirius’s hands are at your chest, still confined in the corset top you’d worn out tonight. He squeezes your boob through the fabric, and you have to bite your lip to suppress the moan that rises from the back of your throat. 
“Fuck, baby,” he groans when you tighten on him again. “You like that?”
You nod, too self-conscious and delirious with pleasure to attempt speech. 
Sirius kisses you, working your bottom lip free of your teeth as he grips your boob more intentionally. It comes readily out of your top and into his palm, where Sirius kneads at it diligently. You’re making sounds into his mouth now, but so is he, and when his thumb pushes over your nipple at the same time as he drives into you, you finish only a few seconds before he does. 
“Damn,” Sirius says when he can speak again. He’s panting, pulling out of you slowly to lie on the bed beside you. “That top is something else. I didn’t know you even had clothes like that, you sneak.” 
When you blush, it’s from more than just his teasing tone. “Only this one,” you say, as though that’s some kind of excuse. You usually would never wear a top like the one Sirius has half torn off you tonight, but you’ve admired the way he and his friends dress ever since you met them. You want to be that bold, that unafraid. And when you’d seen the corset top in a thrift store a couple months back, it had struck you instantly as something the person you wanted to be might wear. Someone more daring than you truly were. It had taken you until tonight to work up the gall to actually wear it outside of your bedroom, but Sirius had not let its debut go by unappreciated. 
“Well, if you feel like buying more,” Sirius says against your shoulder, kissing at your hot skin with casual reverence, “you won’t catch me complaining. You look hot in it.” He nibbles at your clavicle. “Although I guess that’s true of everything you wear.” 
Your face burns. “Thanks.” 
Sirius must hear something of your hesitation in your voice, because he picks his head up, gray eyes narrowing at you. “You don’t agree?” he asks, and he’s still trying to play, one eyebrow arching dramatically. 
You laugh. It’s so obviously forced that Sirius drops the act instantly, pushing up on his elbows to see you more clearly. He unsticks a strand of hair from your sweaty cheek, running it between his fingers. “Something the matter, pretty girl?” 
Something is the matter. You feel like you always do after sex, but worse because of the showy top that had provoked Sirius’ advances in the first place. You feel guilty, dirty, the stickiness between your thighs more like grime now than pleasure. You feel like you might be a “good girl” the way Sirius means, but you’re miles off from the sort of good you were raised to be. 
“Sweetheart,” Sirius croons, and he’s wheedling, “I think I know what you’re thinking, and if I’m right, you know it’ll make you feel better to talk about it.” 
You sigh. “I’m sorry,” you say. It’s as good as an admittance. “I don’t mean to take all the fun out of it.” 
“Hey.” He sweeps the piece of hair behind your ear, giving you a look nearly as stern as it is fond. “I’m not having any fun if you’re not, got it? And I wouldn’t want to.” Your gaze drops, and Sirius moves his hand to your face, angling it gently to face him. “We should both be able to enjoy ourselves,” he says. 
“I know.” You sigh again. You can’t seem to stop; it’s as if all the air wants to flee your body as badly as you do. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy it…it’s that I don’t enjoy enjoying it.” You try to crack a joke, and Sirius gives you a small smile, pecking you on the cheek for your efforts. “It’s hard to reprogram myself to think of sex as something that I’m allowed to like, you know?” 
Sirius’ grin fades as he nods, eyebrows drawn together pensively. “I think so,” he says. “When I first figured out I liked boys too, it took me a long time to feel like I wasn’t doing something wrong, even though I knew everyone I actually cared about would be fine with it. It’s…like, you have to convince yourself every time that you’re not going to get in trouble, and that even if you do, anyone who could be upset with you is on the wrong side of things.” 
You’re nodding before he’s even finished. “Exactly,” you say, fighting the urge to draw your knees to your chest, to make yourself small. “It’s hard to put out the voices saying otherwise, though.” 
Sirius hums. “Well,” he says softly, lowering himself over you to press a kiss to your jaw, “suppose you just listen to my voice instead.” He moves downward, to your neck, your chest. The warmth in your core flares up anew. “Whaddya think, my sweet girl?” When he gets to your navel, he slides off the end of the bed. “Wanna try convincing yourself it’s alright while I convince you too?”
You draw breath to answer, but it turns to a gasp when Sirius hooks his hands under your knees without warning, yanking you to the end of the bed. He waits there patiently, breath warming your inner thighs. You can’t find your voice, but you nod. Sirius grins.
“Alright. That’ll do for now, baby, but soon I wanna hear you enjoying yourself. Gonna show those voices who’s really in charge.”
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scekrex · 1 month
Note
I’ve had this idea for a while and I like your writing so I figured Id ask you! If you don’t like it, please feel free to ignore!! Can we get Lucifer’s reaction to sinner!Adam being with someone who seems to genuinely love and care for him. I always kinda saw Lilith and Eve as people who wasn’t into the idea of being with Adam in a serious manner (Lilith a lot more than Eve) which is why they turned to Lucifer.
I just find the idea of Lucifer seeing someone genuinely care for Adam more than any of Adam’s past lovers really fun. Like, would he be low-key jealous? Would he be happy for Adam (as much as he definitely would not admit it)
I also would find it funny of what Lucifer would think to Adam dating a guy. The first man, progenitor of humanity, Mr. everyone came from these nuts himself, discovering he’s bi waaaay too late into his after-life, and after he becomes a SINNER no less! I can’t help but chuckle about it
Have a nice rest of your day!! ❤️❤️
Okay so this turned into some Adam x male!reader n Lucifer being jealous over reader. Basically one-sided adamsapple. Hope you enjoy, xoxo/p
Part 2
Maybe you can call me Eve, standing here under the forbidden tree
pairing: one-sided adamsapple/Adam x male!reader
warnings: language
note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers
It was a little weird, that the devil had to admit, it was a little weird to see Adam so happy, so relaxed, so lovingly. Ever since the former angel had arrived in hell after Alastor's little demon girl friend had ended him he had been even worse than before. He had constantly insulted the residents of the hotel, whenever there had been the possibility to pick a fight with Charlie, Adam had done exactly that.
And it made Lucifer feel strange.
Adam was laying on the couch, you were laying on top of him - chest to chest - his guitar was gently placed on your back as he played for you. Has Adam ever played for anyone but himself? Lucifer certainly didn't think so. Sure, he had played concerts in heaven, but he had mainly played for himself, for his own entertainment, so that people listened to him had just been a nice bonus. But actively played for someone? No.
And your curious, loving eyes were watching his every move, an adoring smile was on your lips and Lucifer's heart felt heavy at the view. The thought was small but it bloomed in him, the thought that this could have been him, that he could be the one laying on Adam's chest while the first man played for Lucifer instead of a random sinner. It wasn't fair, but Lucifer had already known that. Life - or afterlife - never played fair. Never.
“Dad?” Charlie's soft voice made him tear his eyes from the scene, her hand came up to rest on his shoulder. “Are you-” she interrupted herself as soon as she spotted you and Adam and a small sigh escaped her.
Adam played the last chord and then proudly looked down on you, a cocky smile on his lips as you placed a small kiss on his stubbled chin. One of your hands moved to ruffle through his hair and Lucifer suddenly remembered Eden, back when it had been just Adam. Just him and Adam. Those times were long gone though, and the devil knew it, he knew that what they had back then would never return, especially now that Adam had you.
He was thankful that Adam had finally found someone, that he wasn't feeling as miserable anymore and that he actually seemed to try and redeem himself. And yet Lucifer couldn't bring himself to be happy for the first man, not when the person laying on his chest was you instead of him.
The fact that Adam was dating a guy didn't make it easier to deal with though. If you were a girl it would be different for Lucifer, that way he could trick his brain into believing that Adam was straight, that he had no chance anyway. But you weren't a girl and Adam wasn't straight. The possibility had been there, the possibility had been right in his damn hands back in Eden. The bond he and Adam had back then had been special, it had been a connection Lucifer had never felt again in that way. Yet Adam had always denied being queer once his soul arrived in heaven. The image of him kissing your forehead so softly however shed new light on it, Adam didn't deny being bi anymore, he had grown comfortable with it actually. The credit for that went to Angel Dust.
Why you? Why not him? That's a thought that constantly occupied Lucifer's mind. What did you have that he hadn't? The devil didn't know.
Charlie's hand squeezed his shoulder apologetic, she knew. Of course she knew, Lucifer had told her himself after all. He had told her about Eden, back when Adam had been the sweetest creation of God's, right after ducks, that was. A thing Adam had named. Adam had named most of the things, if Lucifer was being honest with himself, it had been his job after all. But when Adam had named ducks, Lucifer had been there, he had been with Adam when the first man had spotted a duck for the first time.
Oh how bittersweet that tasted now.
You looked over, spotting the devil and his daughter as you happily waved them over, Adam simply rolled his eyes in annoyance but remained quiet.
Lucifer tensed up, Charlie however led him over to the two of you.
Oh fuck him.
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faintedlcve · 8 months
Note
HI! I LOVE UR WORK SO SO MUCH!! can I ask for a Mattheo Riddle x fem! reader and they’re best friends but they’ve been in love forever but haven’t admitted it and it’s a slowburn and whenever the reader picks her hangnails bc she needs to fidget he always holds her hands and she gets really really overwhelmed on the first week back to Hogwarts and is really stressed and helps her calm down and handle her feelings and anxiety? (Preferably a swifite Reader?) I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!
Jealous
Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x fem!reader
Warning: kissing, angst, fluff
A/n: Thank you so much for requesting and for the compliment!! Hope you like it~ Some of the like speech in this is kinda not funny (but the characters find it funny sooo) and more cringe but I was trying my best to make the reader swiftie. I'm not a huge fan but I hope you like it xx
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Hearing Mattheo's name did not give you butterflies. Seeing Mattheo did not give you butterflies. Hugging Mattheo did not give you butte-.
"Hey." Mattheo said.
"Huh? Oh uh h-hi!" You said flustered.
Ok, maybe you lied. You recently came to the realisation that Mattheo made you flustered. And
...gave you butterflies.
But you couldn't admit it to anyone. Mattheo was your best friend. You couldn't talk to him about your crush on him! So you couldn't tell anyone. That and you just didn't want anyone to know. So you decided not to tell anyone.
"Pansy I think I'm in love with Mattheo." You said to your dorm mate as you burst into your dorm. Okay, that was a lie as well. You just NEEDED to tell someone. The weight was too much. But no one else would know.
Except Theo. You couldn't NOT tell Theo. He was one of your best friends.
Okay so what if you lied to yourself 3 times? You'd been lying to everyone saying you didn't like Mattheo.
You started falling two months ago but convinced yourself you didn't.
You and him would hold hands all the time because you felt comfortable enough to since you'd known each other for so long.
But when he accidentally brushed his hand against yours, the chills that enveloped your body shocked you. You didn't know you could feel that way about your best friend.
The only reason you hadn't told him yet was because you weren't sure about your feelings and you didn't know how he'd react.
What if he didn't like you back? How embarrassing would that be?
So you just waited and waited hoping for a clear answer for your feelings and for Mattheo to admit his feelings. If he had them of course.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚***•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚***•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙***•̩̩͙
You were growing tired waiting. You needed to stop waiting. You needed to confess.
With those thoughts, you entered the common room. As you entered, you saw your usual spot next to Mattheo taken up by a brunette girl who you recognised as Astoria Greengrass. What you saw next confirmed your fears.
Mattheo did not, indeed, like you. He and Astoria were laughing together. Mattheo never laughed around anyone but you. The gods definitely answered your prayers and left you with a clear answer. Mattheo Riddle only thought of you as a friend. Ouch.
"Who's your girlfriend?" You didn't mean to sound as bitter as you did, but in your defense, you had just woken up.
"Very funny. She's not my girlfriend. Yet." He said winking as he kissed her cheek.
You pretended to throw up at the PDA which you recalled Mattheo hated and only made an exception for you: one of the many reasons that made you think your feelings were returned.
If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her. But if you're single that's honestly worse. 'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts. Those Taylor Swift lyrics clouded your mind as you saw Mattheo with Astoria.
Your sight faltered onto Theo and Pansy, the only two people aware of your feelings and realised they both gave you an apologetic look.
You glared at a nearby wall as you felt tears well up in your eyes.
That's when you also realised that you did indeed have feelings for Mattheo.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚***•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚***•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙***•̩̩͙
The summer holidays seemed to fly by and as the end neared, so did multiple mixed emotions about how to feel about what you had witnessed 3 months ago. Astoria and Mattheo. They were together till the end of the term and even sat together on the Hogwarts Express.
You felt betrayed that your best friend of 6 years was willing to replace you with a girl he'd known for 5 seconds. You sat with Pansy and Theo as you blasted Taylor Swift in your earphones. Music always calmed you down. Especially Taylor Swift songs.
As you and your friends: Theo, Pansy, Draco and Blaise walked out of the express you saw Mattheo was alone. What happened with Astoria, you wondered. That girl was practically on top of him 24/7 so seeing him alone gave you some hope.
"Where's your girlfriend?" You asked as you elbowed him teasingly trying to hide your true intentions.
"We were never dating. I just realised I like someone else." Mattheo said. "That and she was a bit of a slut." He stated.
"Ooh whoo???" You asked, part of you hoping he'd say your name.
"Now that I cannot tell you." He replied.
"oh come on! Yes you can. I'm so trustworthy." You said.
"Promise you won't be... jealous." Mattheo said.
"Pfft me jealous? Never!" You said, not even believing yourself. See when you said you lied to people all the time? This is what you meant.
"Now, love, even you don't believe that." He said.
If he was talking about you, why would you be jealous. Unless-
"I'll tell you later. In the astronomy tower." Mattheo said.
"Damn someone's trying to be discreet. Are you sure you're not planning to murder me?" You asked, half joking.
"No, if I was planning on murdering you, I would've done it a long time ago."
You glared at him unamused.
"When?" You asked him
"What?" He said bewildered.
"when are we meeting in the astronomy tower?"
"Oh, midnight." Mattheo said
"3am Edition?" You joked.
"What? Ohh" Mattheo said laughing slightly at the joke.
"Uh I don't get it." Lorenzo said, scaring you a bit as you weren't aware of his presence.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚***•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚***•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙***•̩̩͙
It was midnight and you were nervous about going to the astronomy tower. As you entered, you couldn't see Mattheo anywhere so you unconciously started picking on your hangnails.
You hear footsteps which startles you.
"Huh? Oh uh hi." You said realising Mattheo was there
"hey! didn't know you were going to be here." he said jokingly. He saw you pick on your hangnails and gently grabbed your hand.
"Very funny." You said. You had to admit you were slightly chuckling when saying that.
"I think it's strange that you think I'm funny because she never did." he quoted a Taylor Swift lyric.
"Aww you listened to Taylor Swift to flirt with me. You know me so well." You said, pretending to be touched by his gesture.
"That dress looks nice on you." He said smiling.
"Only bought this dress so you could take it off." You winked at him.
He chuckled slightly.
"Soooo who do you like?" You asked.
"what? Oh uh I thought it was pretty obvious. You."
"Oh thank god, it would have been really embarrassing for me otherwise." You stated sighing with relief.
"So uh, tomorrow 5?" He asked.
"In the morning? Damn someone can't wait." You joked.
"No uh evening. Wait of course you know." He replied almost as if he realised that while saying the sentence.
"I'm actually going to Hogsmeade with Pansy tomorrow." You said looking guilty.
He looked disappointed. "Could you cancel? Wait no that's selfish of me. When are you coming back?" He asked.
"Nah don't worry it's not selfish, I can cancel."
"Awww you like me more than Pansy." He stated, looking proud.
"No, I like you more than Hogsmeade."
"So tomorrow 5?" He confirmed.
"Wreck my plans, that's my man." You said having wanted to use that before.
He smiled before he slammed his lips against yours. The kiss was better than you expected. And this time you weren't lying to yourself.
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theemporium · 9 months
Note
im so bad at requesting things so hopefully this actually makes sense lmao, could you please write something about james comforting reader after meeting his friends for the first time bc she thinks she left a bad impression but in reality they loved her? i love your writing btw <3
thank you! and thank you for requesting!🫶🏽
.
There was no doubt in your mind that you loved James Potter.
Despite the relationship only being a few months old, you had never felt this way about any previous partner. James made you feel special, made you feel like you were floating on cloud nine. James was what all the bad dates and shitty relationships were leading up to, and you couldn’t be happier. 
You wanted him to be a part of your life, and you wanted to be a part of his—which meant meeting the important people in his life. 
He wanted to start out with something small and casual. It was just meant to be a casual night at the pub beside his apartment, to just meet his best friends and the group he had kept close with throughout school. It should’ve been no big deal. 
Except, it went worse than you could’ve imagined—or at least, that’s what you assumed. 
They were a close knit group, that fact was undeniable. And it was clear they cared about your boyfriend as much as you did. It warmed your heart to witness the way they laughed and joked and smiled and cheered the whole night, but you couldn’t help but feel a piece of the puzzle that was never really meant to be there. 
James had noticed you had been quiet since you left the pub, giving all his friends a parting hug before you both started to make the walk to his apartment. You looked lost in thought, with that crease between your brows that told him you were deep in your own head. 
“So,” he started, almost startling you out of your daze when he wrapped his arm around your shoulder to tug you into his side. “What did you think?” 
You blinked. “Hm?” 
“My friends,” he said, looking down at you with a dopey smile that hadn’t left his face since the night began. “What did you think of them?” 
“They were great, Jamie,” you smiled softly. “They really love you.” 
His grin widened. “And now they love you too.” 
You must’ve made a face because that was the only explanation as to why James suddenly frowned, stopping on the side of the street and pulling you to top with him. He looked almost concerned. 
“Is everything okay?” 
You looked at him like he was insane, laughing it off. “What? Of course it is!” 
“Baby,” he gave you a pointed look. “Something’s bothering you. Tell me.” 
You opened your mouth but just sighed. “It’s nothing.” 
His frown deepened. “You don’t have to lie to me.”
“James—”
“Princess.” 
Your eyes dropped away from his, focusing on some cracks on the pavement below you. You let out a deep breath before you began speaking. “I don’t know, I guess…I just wanted your friends to like me.”
His concern turned to confusion. “Huh?”
“They mean a lot to you, James, and I can tell they care about you too and I just wanted them to like me too,” you started to ramble, the words flowing out of your mouth and you couldn’t stop them. “And I wanna be with you for a…really long time and I don’t want them to hate me—-”
“Woah, woah, woah,” James interrupted, taking a step closer to you. His fingers gripped your chin, tilting your head up so he could look at you, wide eyes and alcohol flushed cheeks. “Who said anything about hating?” 
“I—” you started before shrugging. 
“Baby, they adore you,” he whispered in a soft voice. “I think they probably like you more than me.”
You rolled your eyes. “That’s not true.”
“Oh, it’s very true,” he murmured with a small smile. “Just ask Pads. He would choose you over me in a heartbeat.” 
You laughed, though it still felt a bit strained.
“Plus,” James continued. “You make me happy. And if you make me happy, they will love you regardless.”
Your eyes still held some doubt. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, baby,” he grinned before his hands moved to hold your face. “I wanna be with you for a really long time too.” 
“Glad we are on the same page then,” you murmured, your lips twitched as he knocked his nose against yours. 
“Yeah, you’re stuck with me for a while, princess,” he said before moving down to connect his lips with yours. “Better get used to this.”
“Pub nights with your friends?”
“I was gonna say making out with you on the street, but that too.”
.
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widowmaxff · 11 days
Note
In overwhelmed, it mentions that Y/N used to be in a dark hole and how Wanda is afraid she’d go back to it. Can you write about it? Like what happened?
hope ur ok
pairings: mom!wanda × daughter!reader (platonic)
warnings: depressed reader, cryingg, bad thoughts, and sad sad things
a/n: okay how did you pay so much attention to what i wrote in overwhelmed bc i didnt even remember writing that 😭 BUT THANK YOU for the request i literally just ramble what was in my head but hope you like it love!
HOW YOU CAN HELP PALESTINE!
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You don't know when it started, much less why it started. Maybe a few days ago, a month ago, maybe a year ago the signs that something was wrong started to appear. It was almost as if these feelings were always there, just hidden by a layer that was slowly removed and made everything more difficult. It seemed like there were days when you could easily deal with it, maybe ignoring it or just hiding it very well, you didn't know. But there were days that were more difficult. It was more difficult to get out of bed, your appetite was barely there, you didn't want to leave your room, just stay in darkness and total silence. Even though this silence made your head spin, it was better than anyone talking and making you even more depressed.
If someone asked the people closest to you if you were sensitive, you were sure that more than half of them would say no. They would talk about how you had a frozen heart, that you didn't cry when you watched a sad movie, that you didn't fall in love with the character when watching or reading a novel, that you didn't care when someone was fighting with you. But deep down, you knew it was a lie. You felt hard feelings most of the time, including when watching sad films. Maybe you just don't like showing the sadness and emptiness you feel. It makes you feel weak, worthless, and selfish, especially selfish. You shouldn't feel this way, not when you had the perfect life: a loving mother, food on the table, new clothes, and expensive sneakers. Then why?
You didn't really care that you felt depressed, you knew that eventually it would pass, just like every other time - even if that feeling came back some time later, even worse. It wasn't like anyone noticed and said anything to you, even though you were sure most of the adults around you blamed it on teenage hormones when they saw you sulking or just isolating yourself in your room all day. Maybe a few questions like 'are you okay?', even though they knew you would respond with something positive even if everything was falling apart. But there was always someone. Someone who knew that it wasn't just teenage hormones but something that was slowly consuming you. Wanda, your mother, was that someone, and she certainly didn't let those details slip.
The first time you actually showed that you were in a depressing state was on a random Thursday at six-thirty in the morning. Wanda didn't mind much in the first moments when you refused to get out of bed, it was normal for any teenager to not be able to stand school. But when you finally decided to show up for the morning in the Compound's kitchen, she was surprised. You had big black bags under your eyes that were tired and red, looking like you hadn't slept well that night and maybe you had been crying most of it. Wanda didn't take long to ask if something had happened and if you were okay, only receiving a murmur of something like ‘'m fine' before turning back to look at the emptiness of space. Tony who was nearby joked “Maybe the red eyes are because of something she used. Don't tell me you snuck out to a party, Mini Maximoff?”, you'd laugh on any other day, even replying something like 'Yes, I did some hard drugs at a party. How do you know?', but that wasn't the case. Stark laughed to himself after saying that sentence but soon the sound of his voice disappeared when he realized that you hadn't heard him and, apparently, nothing around you.
The second time was right after a mission Wanda had done. It was only three days away from you and everything seemed different when she came back. The first thing she noticed was that you didn't run into her arms when she stepped inside the Compound, much less respond to the messages she sent you a few hours earlier. Obviously like a worried mother she went after you, not taking long to find you in your room with all the lights off, two blankets around your body and how it looked like the things in your room had been in the same place since your mother left for the mission. She turned on the light in your room, hearing a soft growl leave your lips. You were awake and conscious, so it didn't make sense for you to want to be lying down and almost sinking into your mattress at four o'clock in the afternoon. She remembered when you were little and couldn't sleep if at least one light wasn't on, now it was ironic to think that you just lived in the darkness and emptiness of your room without fear that some monster would catch you, because no monster could hurt you like depression was.
Wanda couldn't count how many more episodes like those happened and lasted for several days. She was worried, very worried. She was afraid that you would end up doing something that would hurt you, end everything. It was obvious that your mother tried to ask you what was wrong, how she could help you, but you always said that you just woke up on the wrong foot that morning and that everything was fine. Of course, how were you going to tell her what was happening if you didn't even know. There was no reason for you to feel down like that and not even the absurd desire to just want to close your eyes and not open them again. And every day that passed, this dark hole you were in would get deeper and deeper. You knew you needed to ask for help before it was too late. 
It was no longer strange when once again that week you had no will to live. You look at the clock next to your bed and realize that your mother would be coming to your room to call you for another day in two minutes and a few seconds. Just the thought of 'one more day' made you want to throw up the food you didn't even eat the day before, as that empty feeling made your hunger go away. But as much as vomiting, you wanted to cry, cry until you couldn't take it anymore. And it was no surprise when the tears started to fall and you couldn't stop. Even though you are not a loud person, trying to keep yourself in your own bubble, the sobs wanted to get out of your throat anyway.
“Darling?” Wanda didn't mind knocking on your bedroom door in the morning, since you would be sleeping, well, not at that moment. When she heard the choking sounds you were making to keep from crying, she didn't take long to run towards your body on the bed and get under your covers, pressing you against her chest giving the perfect comfort to let you know that you weren't alone. “Oh, my love.” Wanda has seen you cry, many, many times, but it was so different to see you cry as if you were drowning in a sea and needed help from someone, anyone. “It's okay, Mama is here.” With each passing minute it seemed like the tears were getting even bigger than before, but you tried to focus on Wanda's heartbeat as you placed your hand on her chest, making you feel calmer despite all the panic. 
The lullaby that starts to leave her lips and go straight to your ear makes you start paying attention to the soft melody and not your terrible thoughts. The language Wanda sang in, Sokovian, was not understood by you, but you still remembered when she sang you to sleep on the days you had nightmares. It was as if Wanda was using her magic to calm you down, even though you knew she would never use her powers on you without your permission, but her voice was so sweet that it was more powerful than any of her red magic. Your breathing becomes soft and your movements slow, as if you were choosing the right words to get rid of that moment, but with your mother there it was almost impossible to lie.
“I wanna get help,” You murmur for just her to hear, despite there being no one else in the room with you two. “b-but I don’t even know why I’m like this.” Your crying had stopped, but you still choked to say a few words. Admitting those words out loud seemed like a challenge for you, and when you said them, a weight seemed to lift off your back despite not having yet deciphered all your feelings. And Wanda knew that. She knew how hard you were to avoid looking like a weak person even if you weren't, even if asking for help wasn't a sign of weakness but rather of improvement.
Your mother kisses your head, taking a few seconds before cupping your face and looking at it. “I'm so proud of you, my angel.” You didn't see pity or lies in the expression on her face. You didn't see disappointment and much less as if you were a problem for her. “I'm glad you want to ask for help, and I'm here for it, yeah?” You felt a little guilty when you saw a tear come out of your mother's eyes, but she was still smiling. The same smile you saw when you woke up, or when you told her some good news, or even when you told her a joke. Wanda never wanted you to feel anything negative about her. She never took out any frustration on you, never made you feel bad when you got a bad grade at school, or when you accidentally knocked a glass on the floor. “I will help you with whatever you need, my love. It will be slow, but I promise that the tightness in your chest will pass, okay?”
“I trust you.” She nods before pulling you into a hug that she knew you needed more than anything at that moment. The process would take a long time until you felt well again, you both knew that, but it was never too late. It's never too late to ask for help, because it's normal to need someone to pull you out of the dark hole sometimes, it's normal to not feel good all the time. Having feelings is normal, even if sometimes they are too deep, or too shallow. You just needed to realize that you were never alone, that people around care about you and will always want the best for you. 
“I love you so much. Always remember that.”
“I love you too, Mama.”
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bella-rose29 · 4 months
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Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - part 8
from here on out this series is just going to be Lockwood and reader bonding and being annoyingly good together while coming up with steadily more ridiculous ways to piss off the bitchy cousin bc she's trying to get revenge
with that said lockwood does have a brief sad moment :(
Word count: 7.1k
Warnings: swearing, references to sex (both mild and slightly less mild), sleepy lockwood, he can't talk properly when sleepy, the whole morning thing is just what I want to happen in my own life tbh, Steph (the Bitch), lockwood remembers his childhood (might make you sad), brief mentions of murder?? hypothetical murder though (that will make sense I promise), a really intense snowball fight, (can you tell I'm an archaeology student from the way I describe building forts and mud huts?), lockwood gives all the teams in the snowball fight names and they are very basic but I love them
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That night when Y/n and Anthony went to bed, they stood staring awkwardly at the bed for five minutes.
"Well that armchair can't be comfortable," Y/n said, glancing sceptically at it. She wasn't sure where Anthony had slept the night before after their argument, or even if he'd slept at all, but she didn't feel right about taking the whole bed for herself anymore now that their situation had changed.
She would do it if he insisted, of course, but there would be a very tiny part of her brain telling her to be the better person. It was unlikely that she'd listen to it.
"I got used to it, and I've slept in worse places. You take the bed again. The bath surely couldn't have been nice to sleep in."
"It was actually a lot more comfortable than you'd think." They kept on looking at the bed, both in their pyjamas (Y/n had stolen one of Anthony's t-shirts already, and when she'd first walked out of the bathroom in it he'd kissed her for a good few minutes in a way that left them both breathless). "Maybe... maybe we could share? I don't know if that's too soon or anything but honestly if we've been supposedly dating since April then I think we're way past that."
"If you're happy with it then I am, darling."
"Alright. I'm having this side though." A couple of minutes later the two of them were under the covers and settled in, and Y/n reached over to turn off her bedside lamp. The room was immediately shrouded in darkness, and suddenly it felt a lot colder than before, despite the fact she was buried under the duvet. "Ant?"
"Yeah?"
"... Can I move a bit closer to you? I'm cold." She didn't get a verbal response, instead receiving the sounds of the sheets crumpling and a body shifting, and a few seconds later Anthony's warmth was surrounding her as he took her into his arms and laid her on top of him. She tangled their legs together and wrapped an arm around his torso, and he brought both of his arms around her to secure her in place.
"Is that better?" he asked, and from where her head was resting on his chest she nodded.
"Much better. Thank you."
Her breathing evened out not long after, and she fell asleep to the slightly faster than usual beating of Anthony's heart.
~~~
When morning came (or rather when the sun finally rose over the horizon, since it was just after 8 AM), Y/n woke up and tried to turn over to stretch, but found that her movements were restricted by a weight on her side.
An investigation of what was happening lead to the discovery that Anthony was now lying on top of her instead of the other way around like they had been when they went to sleep, and that was why she couldn't turn over. She went to shift him off of her, but as she went to move him she caught a glimpse of his face and realised that he looked so peaceful asleep she might just let him stay that way. He barely got enough sleep as it was, so why cut it short when he was finally getting some rest? God knew he needed it with how hard he worked to keep the company going, although that had been much easier in the past year as they had gained more popularity among the people of England (their name had been spread far and wide by happy clients).
He wasn't entirely on top of her, more lying on his stomach next to her while he rested his head on her shoulder and spread his arm out over her middle, but the weight was enough that movement was restricted. A light knock sounded from the door, making Y/n look away from her new boyfriend's face to see who it was. For some reason fear gripped her as the handle turned, but when the door opened a few seconds later to reveal her father she let out a sigh of relief. She had been worried that Stephanie was starting her research into how she was going to get her revenge already, but Y/n's cousin was almost certainly still asleep at this hour.
"Just got some tea," he whispered after Y/n put her finger to her lips, pointing down at the still-sleeping Anthony. "Where should I put it? Just here? Alright, there you go. I think we're all just going to lie in bed for as long as we think we can get away with, so don't worry about coming downstairs yet if you don't want to."
"Thanks, Dad." He crept back out the room, wincing slightly when the door hinges protested as he pulled it shut, and then he was padding down the hallway back to his own room. Soft sounds from just below her head made Y/n look down at Anthony, who had apparently been woken by the door closing. He rubbed at his eyes, blinking furiously as he attempted to properly shake himself awake, and pushed himself up a little to sleepily smile down at her.
"Morning, darling," he murmured, dropping his head to press a small kiss to her lips. "D'ya sleep alright?"
"Mmhm. Did you?" Anthony only nodded in response, eyes drifting shut every few seconds as he tried to stay conscious long enough to hold a conversation with her.
"You can go back to sleep if you want, although Dad just brought tea in if you want it."
"Ooh, that would be brilliant. D'ya want me to pour it?" Y/n stifled a giggle at his slightly slurred speech, and starting to move into a sitting position.
"Don't worry, Ant. I've got it." She poured out the water, making sure to add the honey and sugar to his at the right times, then carefully handed over the mug. "Have you got a proper hold on it? Because if you spill tea in bed then I might have to kill you."
"I can't spill tea? But how else are you meant to know that George and Flo have definitely fuc-" he was cut off when Y/n hurriedly reached out to steady his mug, the liquid inside nearly sloshing over the edge as he had been leaning in in a conspiratorial manner, forgetting he was holding a large cup of steaming hot liquid in one hand.
"Anthony! Watch what you're doing!"
"Sorry," he said, faint blush coming on to his cheeks as she scolded him. "Was jus' trying to make a joke. Although what I said about Flo and George wasn't a joke." He made a point to look her in the eyes with as much seriousness he could muster, as though it were of the utmost importance that she knew all about her colleague's sex life.
"Alright, thank you for that," she responded, making sure her tone was gentle, and when he smiled dopily she felt her heart skip a beat or two.
How the hell is he so pretty?
"You're pretty too, darling." His smile had turned smug, and she realised with a start that she'd said her previous thought out loud. Her face started heating up, and Anthony did a good job of hiding his laughter were it not for the amusement dancing in his eyes as he sipped his tea.
"Shut up," she mumbled, wanting to jab him in the side but not trusting his capabilities of holding his tea steady this early in the morning.
~~~
"Good morning, lovebirds!" Will chirped when Y/n and Anthony walked into the kitchen, and he sent a smirk their way from where he stood at the hob frying eggs. "Sleep alright?" He seemed to be asking something else though from the way his eyebrows were moving.
"Is... he okay?" he whispered instead, leaning down slightly to reach Y/n's ear.
"I talked to him in the library yesterday. After... you know."
"Ah. Right." After they had argued and then made up and then made out. "Does that mean he's up to date then?"
"Yep."
So Will knew about all of that. This could be interesting.
"They must have slept fine," Ben started, pulling out the toast that had popped and putting in more slices. "Y/n looked like she'd only just woken up when I went in with tea, and Anthony was fast asleep."
Anthony felt a blush rise up his neck and cover his face at the realisation that Ben had seen him draped over his eldest daughter, but the fond smile that appeared on Y/n's face made it worthwhile. She was wearing one of his jumpers again (she had really leaned into the habits of being his girlfriend already, which meant that many of his t-shirts and jumpers were suspiciously not in the drawers he had originally put them in), and was cosying up to his side as he leaned back against the kitchen island.
Y/n looked like she was about to say something, but at the exact moment she opened her mouth another voice was already filling the room.
"Morning everybody! How are we all today? Isn't the snow just gorgeous?"
Emma grimaced slightly before she turned around, sharing a glance with Anthony before greeting her niece. "It is, Stephanie. I take it you slept alright?"
"Oh yes, thank you!" She was weirdly chipper for somebody who had been acting like a raving lunatic the night before, and Anthony couldn't help but feel unease creep up his spine at her wide grin.
What was she up to?
"Hello, you two! Are you looking forward to going out in the snow later? I shall have to drag you out, Y/n/n, since you hate going outside!" Anthony frowned. Y/n wasn't the biggest fan of the outdoors, but whenever they gained even the slightest amount of snow she was out of the house in a flash, laughing and spinning around the street while it fell. Anthony had always accompanied her, giving the excuse that he wanted to be nearby if she tripped and fell so he could laugh (to which Lucy, George, and Holly had looked at him dubiously).
But really it was because it had been so long since he had seen anyone so carefree.
He had loved the snow as a little kid, running around trying to catch the snowflakes on his tongue, building snowmen, making snow angels, having snowball fights with his family.
Then he had been on his own, and suddenly the snow was no longer a source of warmth for him. He had looked at the roads paved in white and felt as cold as the outside air, good memories being brought up and tainted the longer he stared at it.
He could see where he had set up a fort in defence against his father and sister's attack, crouching behind the wall with his mother while they laughed so hard their sides hurt.
He could see where the four of them had laid down in the thick snow, spreading out their arms and legs and sweeping them back and forth, back and forth. Jess had deliberately laid down close to him so they could hit each other playfully.
He could see where he and Jess had made their snowman (although they called it a snow ghost), carefully picking through the undergrowth to find the perfect stones that were just right for the features.
He could see all of that when he saw snow, and eventually he had stopped looking.
But then Y/n had come along, bright and burning, and when she had experienced her first snowfall at 35 Portland Row she had shrieked with joy. Within moments she had shrugged on her thick coat and boots, hat haphazardly shoved on her head and gloves neglected as she shot out the front door, and the other members of the agency were left behind to wonder what on earth was happening.
The other three were quick to follow, leaving Lockwood inside to watch from behind the glass barrier, and for the first time in years he looked outside and saw the snow.
He also saw Y/n fall on her ass incredibly dramatically, and immediately good memories were being created again.
It took him another year to actually go outside in the snow again, and by this point he was deeply entrenched in the hating game that he had with Y/n that he used his excuse of wanting to see her fall over.
He didn't admit to himself for a while that the real reason he was in the cold with her was to make sure that she didn't fall over too hard, or get knocked over by a car that hadn't realised anyone would be on the road (really, why couldn't she have gone in the back garden?), or even because being outside when she was this happy was making him forget that he couldn't feel various parts of his body due to the biting air.
So hearing Steph say that she was going to have to drag Y/n, the girl who loved snow, outside into the snow, didn't make sense to Anthony. He glanced at Y/n where she was stood at his side and realised that she had told her family she didn't enjoy the snow, because there was nothing on her face that said she was confused like he was.
He really hoped they could leave this place soon, because while Y/n's parents and siblings were wonderful, her aunt (who had been sat in the corner sneering at the couple) and her cousin were not. The constant remarks about Y/n's body, how she acted, how she ate, her job, her life, what she enjoyed doing and what she didn't, it can't have been healthy for her to grow up with those comments, and apparently Y/n had been lying to them about herself to get some of it to stop. Anthony suddenly felt even more awful for the things that he had said over the years, and he dropped his head to meet the top of Y/n's to press a kiss there. She looked up in surprise, a question on her face, and he only shook his head and laced their hands together.
He wasn't going to hurt her again, not now that he had a chance with her. And if anyone else hurt her? Well, he would just have to ask which one of them was picking up the shovel, and who was taking the body bag.
~~~
After breakfast everybody wrapped up as warmly as they could and headed out into the snow. It really was insane how much snow they had had, given it was England and they were unused to the sort of snow they saw described in other parts of the world. Anthony had grabbed Y/n's hand after Stephanie tried to get there first, and when she had tried again to be the one accompanying Y/n outside he pulled her out the front door where John and Sam had started clearing a path.
"Ant, slow down! You're gonna pull my arm out of its socket!"
"You'll be fine. I'll give you CPR."
"Ant, you can't give me CPR to fix my arm not being attached to my body anymore."
"Oh. Well I might as well do it anyway, just in case it does help." He was tugged backwards when Y/n came to a stop behind him, and turning around he realised they had travelled quite far from the house.
"Anthony."
"Yes, my darling?"
"Do you just want to give me CPR because it gives you an excuse to kiss me?" He tried not to blush too hard at how quickly she had figured out his ulterior motive, but recovered just as fast with a smug smile.
"I don't need an excuse, darling. I just need to know you consent." She pushed forward, hand still linked with his, and planted a kiss on his mouth.
"Unless I physically assault you, Anthony, then consider me always consenting to you kissing me."
"Perfect."
He kissed her again, trying not to smile too much since it stopped them from kissing more, and wrapped both arms around her waist. She was smiling too, her cold nose pressing into his, and she let out a joyful shriek when he suddenly bent slightly and picked her up off the ground, twirling her while not ever taking his lips off of hers. When he finally put her down again he sighed in content, resting his forehead against hers and just revelling in the knowledge that they had worked through it all, and he was happy.
Then a snowball hit them square in the face, and he was spluttering while Y/n looked for the source.
"That's enough kissing, love birds! You can do that later!"
"Will." Y/n's eyes narrowed and the smile on her face was downright wolfish, and Anthony desperately hoped that she considered him a team mate or he was going to get pulverised.
"Darling, can I just ask, is it the two of us against your brother?"
"It's the two of us against them all, Ant." He knew she meant all of her family, but he couldn't help but think that she meant that it was the two of them together against the world, too. "Oh! You've never had a snowball fight with us before, have you? Basically instead of a kill-or-be-killed scenario, we combine it with capture the flag. Nana Jean has a collection of items that she gives each team, and you have two hours to build a fort and any defences you want. Then when Nana Jean says go, you've gotta get all the items in your fort, and then get all the way to Nana Jean on the front porch. It's very important that you get all the items in the fort first, because otherwise you get accused of cheating and get disqualified. Ultimately, though, nobody can trust anybody, but everyone always tries to get Steph and Linda because nobody likes them."
"So... if we can't trust anyone...?" He left the rest of his question in the air, but luckily she knew what he meant.
"Don't worry, I'll pair with you. Normally I'm with Olivia, 'cause we're meant to be in pairs, but my brothers never care about that rule. Mum'll throw at anyone, and so will Dad, my grandparents are on the porch watching from their chairs, so they'll get some good photos I imagine, Olivia is far too busy trying to look good all the time, and we need to duck!" She grabbed the front of his coat and yanked him towards the ground just as a large chunk of snow sailed through the air where their heads had just been. "Right. We need to start making some sort of defence, which shouldn't be too difficult because of how much snow there is, and then we need to start making weapons, because Nana Jean has obviously just started the timer for two hours building. Sabotage is also allowed during this time." It was both terrifying and weirdly attractive how quickly she was getting into the spirit of an all-out snow war, and within seconds Anthony found himself being put to work building walls.
He had done a similar thing with his family.
London never really had that much snow on the ground at any one time because of all the people and cars that needed to move around, and since agents still had to go out at night the roads and pathways were mostly clear to prevent any unnecessary deaths or accidents. One year, though, there had been too much snow for people to shift enough of it in one day ready for the night, and weather officials had said that temperatures would be rising anyway and the snow would melt in a couple of days. Anthony's parents had woken him early (back when he slept without an issue) and pointed out his window at the snow, and he had been so excited he had gone and jumped on Jess' bed, not caring when she swatted at him with a pillow. The four of them had then spent the day building forts in the back garden and getting their defences ready, and he and his mother had tried planning their walls strategically for the best possible advantage.
"You can't just put it all on top like that, you need to build it a bit like an igloo, or a mud hut. And make sure you've got the proper dense snow, not this superficial flaky stuff. Add some sticks and rocks and things for a bit of integrity, and pack the snow around it. That's it!"
His parents had taken fort building seriously, no matter what the material they were using was. Pillow forts were always complex too, but when finished Anthony had a castle to be king of.
"What are you doing?" Y/n asked, pulling him out of his memories. He'd been crouched down behind a bench that was in their front garden, clumping bits of undergrowth together and starting to build up the walls.
"You need to add sticks and rocks and things for integrity," he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world.
"Oh. That makes sense I guess. Can you-" she stopped herself for a moment to hurl a hastily made snowball at someone, and Anthony made a mental note to get her to teach George how to throw when he heard a yelp from somewhere in the garden and a cheer from Y/n. "Sorry, needed to get John. Can you like, show me what you're doing? Then we can both do it and get these walls up faster. I really think it's unfair that Will, John and Sam always team up because they all play fucking rugby, so their walls are basically done already."
"True, but we fight ghosts, darling. We know better than anyone how to win a fight, because if we lose, we quite literally die. Here, take some of this," he said, placing some of the stones he had found in her outstretched hands. "Stack them up a little bit, like I've done, yeah, that's good. Then take a whole load of snow and pack it around. It makes it a lot stronger."
"Where did you even learn how to do this? You literally never join in when we have snowball fights back home." His hands slipped when he realised that she had called Portland Row home, but he quickly recovered.
"My mother."
"Oh. Ant, I'm-"
"Don't. Don't say you're sorry. It's... it's nice, actually. Remembering her. Sad, because she's gone, but nice." He could feel Y/n watching him and he cleared his throat. "I don't know if you were in London when we had that last big snowstorm, but there was about this much of it. My parents took me and Jess outside all day and we built forts in the back garden, and then had a snowball fight. It was me and Mum against Jess and Dad. We won, of course. Mum had a really good throwing arm and Jess was complaining about the cold." He smiled at the memory of his sister's squeals when he had snuck up behind her and stuck snow down the back of her coat, running away with a gleeful laugh. An idea struck him then, and he sat up a little. "I've just had a brilliant idea on how we can piss off Steph," he said, and Y/n mirrored the shark-like smile he had on his face.
~~~
Around an hour later, pretty much everybody's forts were complete.
Will, John and Sam had taken Tom into their team (to which Y/n had complained further, since it was meant to be a pairs team situation) and their fort was huge, with walls that took up an entire corner of the garden. Steph and Linda had a pathetic looking fort since neither of them wanted cold hands or to touch the snow, but it was good enough to provide a small amount of protection for now. Emma and Ben's fort was surprisingly decent, and they had added a little turret on one side just for fun.
Then there was Anthony and Y/n's.
"What is that meant to be?" Sam shouted at them, his tone mocking. Taunts were always called out at this stage, Y/n had told Anthony, since everybody had made their defences and weapons and now they were just waiting on Nana Jean to say when they could start. "It looks like a mud hut!" John yelled, clearly thinking that they would be an easy target.
"Good," Anthony muttered, smile decorating his face. "Mud huts are weirdly strong if you build them right."
"You are so random," Y/n said, but she was looking at him with stars in her eyes. "George I would have expected this kind of knowledge, but you? Never would have guessed you knew this much about mud huts."
"My parents studied them, Y/n/n. Of course I know this much about mud huts."
"So random," she whispered under her breath, looking back out at the playing field. Each of the four teams had taken a corner (Olivia had chosen to side with her parents after they threatened to take away her tv privileges if she didn't join in), and Anthony and Y/n were in the opposite corner to The Brothers Grim (he had named them that in his head). The Bitches (Steph and Linda) were on their right, and The In-Laws (Emma, Ben, and Olivia) were on their left. That meant that they, The Love Birds, were most likely going to get attacked last. Everybody was going to be aiming for The Brothers Grim or The Bitches, since they were the strongest team and the most horrible team respectively, and Anthony and Y/n had come up with a plan.
"Are the names really necessary though?"
"What do you mean?!" He did his best to look appalled. "Of course the names are necessary, darling! How else are we meant to quickly and effectively communicate which fort we're going for?!"
"You're ridiculous, Anthony Lockwood."
"We've covered this already, Y/n L/n. I'm very aware of how ridiculous I am."
"I mean, what kind of person pretends they're a whale when drinking orange juice?"
"Yeah, but that only works if you have the orange juice with the bits in it, because then you can filter it through your teeth and-" She had cut him off with a kiss again, and while he had been in the middle of a very important explanation, he didn't mind that this was how he was being cut off. "You really need to stop interrupting me like that, darling," he said after she pulled back, but he didn't mean it. She knew that he didn't mean it either, because she was smiling softly up at him in the brief silence that they had before the fight started.
"Go over the plan one more time?" she asked.
"Sure."
~~~
Nana Jean had taken her place on the front steps, wrapped up in about ten blankets as she sat on her chair next to Gramps.
Y/n was tense, a pit of nerves forming in her stomach as she crouched next to Anthony. Their plan was supposedly foolproof, but they only had her knowledge of previous snowball fights with her family to discern what the other teams would try and do, and they could always have new tactics. The one thing they could rely on, however, was everybody attacking Steph and Linda first.
Each team had been randomly allocated an item from Nana Jean's collection, and had placed it in their fort. Their job then was to protect it at all costs, and not let it reach any of the other forts. Once in a fort, provided the thief didn't have all four items, they could be taken back along with any other items in the fort.
The Brothers Grim seemed to have the advantage, what with their huge walls and numbers, but Anthony and Y/n had spent most of their lives fighting far more threatening opponents in far more dire situations, and so this would be a breeze. With her knowledge of how her family fought (extremely dirty) and Anthony's weird knack for planning intricate extractions of items, they were sure to win.
They would even end up with time to spare to get under Steph's skin.
"Ready?" Nana Jean called out, receiving multiple affirmations in reply. "Three!"
Anthony shifted beside her, and she got ready to move.
"Two!"
The pit of nerves was filled to the brim, spilling over and making her limbs shake.
"One!"
Anthony's face was set in determination, and his eyes were flicking over the playing field as he waited. She was sure that she was doing the same.
"GO!"
Immediately action brought the front garden to life, with people running everywhere and snowballs flying to and fro, mostly missing but occasionally finding their marks. Anthony had already shot off while Y/n stayed behind with their item: Nana Jean's scarf that was too old and tattered for her to actually be kept warm by it anymore. She knew that Will would try and sneak around the back, and John would be left at their fort since he had the best aim and strongest throw. Sam would be the decoy, and Tom was just running around hitting everyone. Steph and Linda were getting annihilated, crouching down and shrieking loudly when snowballs from all directions took the top of their fort walls off. They had used the soft flaky snow instead of the proper solid stuff, and as such their fort wasn't much protection. That's what Anthony had said, anyway, and she decided that he knew what he was talking about. Y/n spotted her mother attempting to creep up behind her, and she chucked a snowball right at her face. It missed, hitting her shoulder instead, but it was enough of a threat that her mother backed off for now.
Anthony had disappeared somehow, and while she searched for a while she couldn't spot his skinny beanpole frame anywhere. That was probably a good thing, she thought, because if she couldn't find him, then their first target definitely couldn't.
Olivia made for Y/n then, battle cry piercing the air, but before Y/n could even take aim her sister was taken down by someone else's snowball, quickly followed by a "YES! HA HA!" that told her it was Tom. She looked through the gap in the bench that Anthony had left while building their fort, and saw her youngest brother doing a victory lap of the field, getting hit by snowballs but carrying on anyway.
"Got it," Anthony said, making her jump and nearly hit him. "Woah! It's me!"
She did hit him then, hissing her response. "You scared the shit out of me!"
"Sorry, darling, sorry. Got it though!" He smiled triumphantly, looking very proud of himself as he lifted up the woollen hat that had been the item belonging to The Brothers Grim.
"Excellent!" She planted a kiss on his frozen lips and he grinned even more widely as he put the hat down. "Did they see you?"
"Nope. I told you earlier, I'm like a ghost myself." He had said something to that effect earlier on, but she hadn't really been paying much attention because she was too busy thinking how gorgeous he was when he got excited. He was like a puppy, and she could practically see his tail wagging while he looked at her with those brown eyes.
"Yeah, you certainly look like one right now," she snorted. "I'm pretty sure you're the same colour as the snow."
"Oi, my ghostly complexion is going to win us this thing, alright? Anyway, it's your turn to go out. Here." He handed her the large rock that they had found, and kissed her on the cheek. "Go get 'em," he winked, and then she was off, leaving him to guard their fort while she made for her parents.
Unfortunately they saw her coming immediately, but purely because Tom was still running around like a headless chicken and had screamed "Y/N'S COMING! Y/N'S COMING!"
"Dammit, Tom," she muttered, frown on her face. She had hidden the rock in her coat pocket since it was the right size (She and Anthony had made sure they would fit properly), but she still had to get the large gloves from their fort. The stone didn't matter now, because they had seen her, so all she needed to do was snatch their item and get back without being brought down. Luckily the gloves were tied together, which meant she only needed to grab one and she could be off again. Her parents were already tiring, she could tell, but years of being an agent and building up the stamina needed to run away from Visitors all night meant that Y/n was only just getting started. She dodged the snowballs that were thrown her way, and slid behind The In-Laws' walls, taking part of it with her. "I'll take those, thanks!" she said, picking up the gloves and immediately running off again, trying to ignore the snow she could feel melting down her spine. "Here," she huffed when she got back to her own fort, nearly knocking Anthony over.
"Oh, perfect! You alright to stay here while I get the last one? Or did you wanna pause for a moment? I don't think The Brothers Grim have noticed their item is missing yet, but your parents are definitely going to start making their move on us soon."
"Just gimme a moment to catch my breath, and I'll be good to go." She had collapsed into his side, clutching her stomach and trying to control her breathing, and he wrapped his arms around her briefly.
"As much as I would love to stay like this all day, darling, I do also need to throw snow at your family because they're coming this way."
"Oh, yeah. Go for it," she replied, sitting up again. Anthony picked up a snowball in each hand and chucked them over their walls, and although Y/n couldn't see who it was she did hear an "oof!" a few seconds later. "I've still got the rock from The In-Laws attempt in my pocket, so I can go and get The Bitches' item if you wanna keep throwing? You're better at it than me 'cause I can only use one arm. The other one is shit at throwing."
"You sure?" he asked, picking up another snowball. She nodded. "Alright. You know what you're doing, yeah?"
"Yep. I'll see you in five, Schmoopie."
"Why are you calling me Schmoopie? That's my name for you!" he called after her, playful frown on his face. Her only response was laughter, which she quickly stifled as she hid behind the thick oak tree closest to Steph and Linda's fort. Their item was a snowshoe, although where Nana Jean had even found one of those was a mystery. The rock she had in her pocket wasn't really big enough, but if she covered it in a bit of snow then it would be good enough to fool them. Anthony's intricate extraction plan for getting all the items had been to use decoys after sneaking up on each fort, and so far their first target, The Brothers Grim, hadn't even noticed. They were too busy fighting off Olivia, who had turned slightly feral over the course of the fight, and Tom, who had apparently decided that no team was better than the team he had created for himself, and was throwing snow at everyone including himself. Y/n crept forward slightly to assess how long she had before either her cousin or her aunt turned around, but then snow started hitting their nearly-destroyed fort again and she knew that Anthony was working on the distraction for her. Tom started attacking Steph and Linda again too, and while her Dad had joined Olivia in attempting to break down the walls of The Brothers Grim's fort, their attack was weakening.
She needed to move fast.
Y/n made her move then, bending down to grab some snow in one hand, and readying the rock in her other, and headed in the direction of Steph and Linda's backs. They were too busy trying to remake their walls, which meant they had left their snowshoe unguarded behind them. She dropped the rock in the snow, then picked up the snowshoe, and in the next five seconds had shoved the snow in her other hand down the back of Steph's jacket and sprinted away. Her cousin's screams followed her the short distance back to her fort, and Anthony didn't need to ask how it had gone when he heard them. "All four items, safe and sound. Now we've just got to get to Nana Jean without them getting taken off us."
That was the hardest part, since Nana Jean was sat on the front porch nearly completely opposite them. They would have to cross the entire playing field and pass The Brothers Grim fort to get to her.
"Alright. You take these. You can't put them in your pockets, which is annoying, but otherwise we'll be disqualified for cheating. You ready?" she asked Anthony after loading his arms with the items. He nodded, fiery determination in his eyes.
"I'm ready. Remember the weak spots in their walls, yeah?"
"Yep." She had memorised the points that Anthony had pointed out to her earlier, and thanked his parents for showing him how to build excellent forts.
"Okay. Three, two, one, go!" They stood up from behind their walls and started running, Anthony's long legs carrying him across the field while Y/n periodically stooped to grab more snow and compact it into a good enough shape that she could throw it far. He nearly made it, and then Will appeared out of nowhere to take him down. Anthony twirled out the way (always the fancy one), and Will missed catching him by a hair's breadth, but now there was more of a distance between Anthony and Nana Jean.
"THEY'RE GONNA WIN!!!" Tom shouted, and suddenly all of Y/n's family members were closing in on her and Anthony with snowballs in their hands.
"RUN!" she screamed, begging her legs to respond. They were slightly numb from the cold now.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?!"
Nana Jean had her arms outstretched from where she sat on the porch, and Y/n was momentarily blinded by the flash of her Gramps' camera just inside the window. She threw what snow she could at both people and forts, picking out the points where Anthony had said were weakest and aiming, and sure enough within moments part of The Brothers Grim's fort had collapsed, and the brothers themselves were crying out in anger.
Time passed slowly and in a blur, and before she knew it Anthony was up the steps and shoving the items into Nana Jean's arms and collapsing at her feet, then letting out a small cry of pain when Y/n landed on top of him. "Did we do it?" she asked, expression wild as she tried to catch her breath. Anthony didn't say anything, his face not revealing anything.
Then he cracked a smile, and it was like the sun had come out. "We did it!"
"You did it, love," Nana Jean said from above them, looking fondly down at her granddaughter where she was lying on the floor.
Y/n immediately pushed herself up (that made Anthony make another "oof" since she had braced her full weight on his chest) and turned around, pointing at all her gathered family members who were stood looking sorry for themselves (apart from Tom, he was still running around and throwing himself in the snow) and shouting "HA! WE WIN, SUCKERS!"
~~~
"Thanks," Y/n said, gladly accepting the mug of tea that Anthony handed her. He smiled down at her, one of those soft secret smiles that he kept for the people he loved, and sat next to her on their loveseat.
She wasn't sure when she'd started calling it their loveseat, but that was what it was, she supposed. Nobody else sat on it apart from them, and now they were cosying up like they always did. She had slung her legs over his and made sure not to spill her tea while he adjusted.
"That's nice and warm," he said, holding it under his face to heat up his frozen features. Y/n hummed her agreement, sipping on her own tea.
Everyone was snacking on random bits of food from the still-extensive collection (despite how much had been eaten at the party), and Anthony had brought over a bowl of bits for the two of them to share. Despite the slight chill that still sat in her bones, she was warm, and as she watched Anthony converse with her Gramps she realised that it was him making her warm.
Not his body heat, although he was surprisingly warm for somebody who had been running around in the snow all day, but rather the feelings he was stirring up in her. He made her feel warm just by interacting with her family, just by allowing her Gramps to tell him jokes that the rest of them had all heard a million times, just by even being here with her. He hadn't needed to come with her, and in fact he had argued against it and compromised, saying if she couldn't find anyone then he would do it and be unhappy, and yet he had done it anyway with a smile on his face. She'd genuinely believed that he wouldn't come with her, or would go back on his word because he thought it would be funny to watch her suffer.
But he was here, cuddled up on a loveseat with her in her family's house, talking to her Gramps about trains or something (she suspected it was more her Gramps was talking at Anthony), and he was hers.
Steph hadn't stopped watching them like a hawk since the snowball fight, but Y/n couldn't find it in her to care because she was with Anthony, and they had achieved a sliver of revenge themselves earlier. Her cousin was rightfully pissed about having a bunch of snow chucked down her back, but then again she had spent her whole life making Y/n miserable so really she deserved it.
He was her home, she realised. Not this house, not even Portland Row, despite the fact that she regularly called it that. No, neither of those places were her home.
Anthony Lockwood was.
part 9
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lucy90712 · 4 months
Note
I heard requests so here I am. Bare with me this might not make sense. So readergf! x Jude Bellingham. Readergf! used to have a situationship with pedri until he told her he didn’t want anything serious. Fast forward to the Clasico she’s in the tunnels wishing Jude luck (obvi with a kiss) & before she goes to her seats, Jude yells to her “I love you” which makes Pedri whisper something to Gavi. Later in the game there’s a scuffle between Pedri & Jude bc Gavi tackled him but in his eyes, he’s just being a good friend. This then gets brought down in the tunnels when Jude is just trying to leave the match, gf tells pedri she’s with a real man which makes Jude fall more in love with her. I hate to make pedri & gavi look like this but I love Jude 😩
WC: 2.5k El Classico is always a big event as the rivalry between Real Madrid and Barcelona runs deep and has been going on for many years. Tonight will be my first time going to a Classico which is nerve wracking in itself but it is made so much worse by the choices I've made over the last year or so. Last year I was in a situationship so to say with Pedri, I really liked him and wanted to enter into a proper committed relationship with him but that's not what he wanted. He wasn't ready for a committed relationship and I wasn't willing to wait because as much as it hurt to let him go I couldn't be sure that Pedri would ever be ready or that when he was he'd want to be with me. The 'break up' was hard on me as I really did have feelings for Pedri and thought he could be the one for me but clearly it wasn't meant to be. 
A few months after calling things off with Pedri my friends made me come away with them on a girls trip to Germany. At the time I was really against it but now I can't imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't gone on that trip. While we were there I met a guy at a club we went to he bought me a few drinks and we talked all night. We exchanged phone numbers before we both went home but I thought I'd never hear from him again. To my surprise he actually text me the next day and wanted to take me out before I went home. To start with I was a bit hesitant as after leaving the club my friends told me that I was talking to Jude Bellingham another footballer and I wasn't sure if I was ready to date another one. After some convincing I went on the date and I'm so glad I did Jude was so sweet and he made me change my thoughts on love completely. 
Nearly a year later and Jude and I have been together for 10 months. I've never been happier than I have been in the last 10 months Jude is the best boyfriend and he treats me so well I couldn't ask for anything more. Over the summer Jude moved teams so now he plays for Real Madrid which has been great for our relationship as it has meant that we can be closer to each other as I moved there after my breakup with Pedri. I hadn't thought too much about the consequences of Jude's move until I was reminded about el Classico. Jude knows about my relationship with Pedri so when he asked if I wanted to go to the game he made it clear that if I didn't want to go he wouldn't mind but I know I have to get over everything someday and I want to support Jude so I decided to go. It will be my first time seeing Pedri since everything ended but Jude has reassured me that everything will be fine. 
Jude left for the game with the team early this morning leaving me to find my own way there as I can't go with the team at least not on the way there. Instead of driving the 5 hours from Madrid to Barcelona I am getting the train as it's quicker and a lot cheaper than flying or paying for fuel. On the train I was going to get on with some work or do a bit of reading to pass the time but instead I found myself spending far too much time thinking about the game. I couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like to see Pedri again after so long and what he might think if he sees me with Jude. I also worried about what might happen on the pitch I know it's usually an intense match and I don't want anything to happen to Jude out there. 
By the time I arrived in Barcelona it wasn't long until the match was due to start so I quickly made my way to the hotel I booked for the night as there are no trains back until the morning. I just about had time to freshen up a bit and change into my Bellingham shirt which Jude gave me especially for this game even though I already own quite a few. There wasn't time for me to do much else so I quickly brushed my hair and left the hotel to make my way to the stadium. It took a bit longer to get there than I'm used to as Barcelona aren't playing at camp nou at the moment but I still made it with a good amount of time until the match. 
As I arrived I text Jude to let him know I arrived safely because he made me promise to do so before he left this morning. Typically just after I made it to my seat he text me back and told me to come and see him before the warm up. I didn't particularly know where I was going but eventually I found my way down the tunnel and to Jude who was waiting for me outside the locker room. As soon as he saw me coming he opened his arms so that he was ready to engulf me in a hug as soon as I was within his reach. Jude hugged me so tightly that my feet came off the floor for a few seconds which I didn't expect but I should've as Jude always gives the best hugs. When he put me down he kept his arms around me while looking down at me with a big smile on his face. 
"Thank you for coming here I know you were nervous but having you here means the world to me" he said 
"You don't don't need to thank me I wanted to be here I'm not going to let the past get in the way of me being here for you" I said 
"I can't believe it's my first proper el Classico" Jude said 
"I know please be careful out there though things can get pretty feisty and I don't want you getting hurt" I warmed him 
"I promise I'll be careful you don't have to worry about me" he said 
"I always worry about you" I said 
"Well don't" he laughed 
Our conversation had to come to an end quite quickly as it was time for warm up but Jude being Jude couldn't leave me without pulling me in for a kiss. He gave me one kiss before I pulled him back in to give him a good luck kiss. Vini came out of the locker room just as we pulled away from each other so Jude told him to wait as he bid me goodbye and slapped my ass as he left which if I could've I would have told him off for. As I turned round to head back to my seat I saw Pedri coming towards me. I felt all of the blood drain from my face as he definitely saw me and Jude together. Even though I said I didn't want the past go get in the way of me coming here that didn't mean I wouldn't be thinking about it and panicking when I saw Pedri. I'm not sure why seeing him made me so anxious but it did it also brought back a lot of memories especially of the heartbreak the man just down the corridor caused me. I was frozen to the spot but as Pedri walked past he smiled at me so I weakly smiled back. 
By the time I made it to my seat I was glad it was just the warm up as I needed a few minutes to gather my thoughts but that's all I had as time seemed to disappear in seconds and before I knew it the match was starting. Barcelona scored early on but apart from that the first half was relatively uneventful there was a few bad tackles here and there but nothing crazy. The second half came around quickly though and about 15 minutes in Jude scored to make it level. Watching him score in el Classico and dedicate his goal to me filled me with an overwhelming sense of pride. I thought nothing could wipe the smile off my face until a few minutes later Gavi tackled Jude and before I knew it he was face to face with Pedri clearly arguing. As much as it could've been about anything instantly I was worried that Pedri had said something or was mad as Jude had dedicated his goal to me. They were pulled apart and the game went on with Jude scoring yet another goal to give Madrid the win in the end. 
While the team were celebrating I stayed in the stands to watch but once they started heading down the tunnel I slowly made my way there so I could meet Jude after he was ready so we could celebrate together. I knew I would be waiting a while so I looked at my phone while I stood there reading all of the tweets about the game and how well Jude played which put a big smile on my face. As I was stood there a lot of people walked back and forth and there was a lot of noise but I drowned it all out until I heard a familiar voice calling my name. Straight away I knew it was Pedri but I was still hoping that when I looked up someone else would be stood there but of course that didn't happen. There he was stood just a few feet in front of me with that smile that reminded me of our early days together when we were both having fun getting to know each other. Somehow being face to face with him wasn't quite as nerve wracking as I thought it would be sure I was a little anxious as to what he was going to say but I didn't feel like the world was going to end. 
"Hey it's been a while how have you been?" He asked 
"I've been good how have you been?" I asked 
"Yeah I've been good what brings you to the match?" He asked getting straight to the point 
"I'm here to support Jude I met him a while back and we've been together for nearly a year now" I said telling him the truth 
"I'm happy for you" he muttered 
"Look I know you have a new boyfriend now but I have to say I'm sorry for how I ended things it wasn't right for me to lead you on for that long and I really regret it you are such an amazing girl and I regret letting you go the way I did" he admitted 
"It's ok it hurt at the time but I'm over it now you did what was best for you and that's ok" I said 
"Does Jude make you happy?" He asked 
"He does he's really sweet and supportive and we're always on the same page overall we have a really healthy relationship" I said 
"I'm glad you're happy but I'm sorry I couldn't be the one to make you feel that way" he said 
"We just weren't meant to be you'll find your person one day Pedri and you can be just as happy as I am and you deserve it too" I said 
He unexpectedly gave me a hug before leaving probably to head home. For a few seconds I was drowning in my own thoughts which had clearly all be pushed to the back of my mind during my conversation with Pedri. Once I had my thoughts under control I felt so much better it was as if talking to him finally gave me a sense of closure. We were able to talk about what happened without emotions clouding our judgement or trying to be petty to get back at each other it was just a normal adult conversation. It was nice to hear him apologise and acknowledge that he didn't go about things in the best way as it sort of validated my feelings at the time. As much as Pedri caused me pain I don't hate him he's still a lovely person so as much as we weren't meant to be that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a healthy relationship and I hope he knows that after our conversation. 
Just a few minutes later Jude finally came out of the locker room of course with a big smile on his face. I always love seeing him all happy after a win just his smile always brightens my day which I thought I'd need today but I'm actually ok. Jude hugged me and gave me a quick kiss before rambling on about the game like I wasn't sat watching it which he always does but I find it endearing. As he talked he kept remembering more things he wanted to tell me so we spent a good while stood in the corridor outside the locker rooms talking, well he was talking at me. Eventually he stopped talking but not before he told me he was allowed to stay the night here with me instead of going back so we got to head to my hotel together. Once we were in a taxi to the hotel Jude finally allowed me to get a word into the conversation. 
"Did you enjoy the game?" He asked 
"Yeah it was great you played so well I'm so proud of you" I said 
"I'm sorry I made you wait so long we were all celebrating and I just couldn't leave nothing happened while I was gone did it?" He asked 
"I did see Pedri we had a good conversation actually he apologised for treating me the way he did and I told him I'm happy with you now which he seemed to accept it felt good to talk to him I feel like that part of my life is completely over now" I said 
"That's good I'm glad you got closure on that chapter of your life" he said 
"I have to ask though what were you arguing about on the pitch?" I questioned 
"Oh it was nothing he was standing up for Gavi saying there was nothing wrong with his challenge but I disagreed nothing major I had a quick word with him after the game and all is good" he explained 
"Good I'm glad everyone can all get along now" I said 
By the time we made it to the hotel both of us were exhausted so we got straight into bed and went to sleep. I was actually able to get off to sleep really easily as unlike the last few days my mind was at rest there was no more anxiety or worry everything finally feels perfect. 
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oh-saints · 4 months
Note
Hi I don’t know if you’ll get this but I have an idea for Rúben Dias, he starrs crushing on the female photographer for Man City and his teammates start teasing him, he doesn’t want to admit his feelings because he thinks the photographer is dating someone ( but she’s actually single and is just introverted)
aaaaahh this feels close to home bcs i'd gotten mistaken so many times by men due to my introvert nature /sigh
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silent
rúben should really stop interpreting things out of hand on his own and start asking the right questions instead.
rúben dias x photographer!you
wc: 2.7k
note: here's is my comback piece! (is that even a valid word?) i actually had this idea in mind for a while and i love writing this bcs i can see he could make this kind of cute mistake! this actually hits closer to home, too, considering that i'm an intovert as well LOL but as usual, I happen to write at dawn so this is not beta-read yet.
happy new year too, everyone! i wish you'll have a blessed year ahead &lt;3
“cupcakes!”
you groaned inwardly, that must be jack grealish. only the 100-million man would call you with overly sweet pet names like that, and he did it so often no matter how many times you corrected him that you had a real name during the first month of your employment here. now entering your third month, you’ve long given up, but you’d renamed his contact to be jack greasy on your phone.
“come sit over with us!”
unlike your nickname, though, you hadn’t given up on his persistent request to sit amongst his set of friends because good lord could they be so boisterous their laughter sounded more like a boom in your ears sometimes. their energy simply went off the roof and your introvert self could never handle it well.
you’d have your time to photograph everyone in the bus later anyway, so you gave him a polite smile, without another word, and proceeded to sit down beside your fellow media team.
you could hear jack screaming protest “aw, come on, cupcakes!” as you took your seat. his friends were laughing on his face at your rejection.
if you have your way, though, you’d badly want to be assigned to the calmer tide of the bus. the likes of julian, kevin, bernardo were more suitable for your kind. but being the one responsible for the disposable camera and all of city’s short off-pitch videos, jack and his circus were more than a matchmade in heaven for a better result.
before you had more complaints to mull over, your colleagues turned to face you and started babbling about an upcoming short video the both of you would have to make. the plot, the script, down to deciding who’d be best to be asked for to star in the video.
“i think rúben dias would do just fine.”
being a newbie, you nodded along the names he mentioned because in all honesty, you didn’t exactly know who is who and which is which until now. two months splattered all over the men’s and the women’s team, as well as the academy, was pretty much a guarantee you’d missed out on someone.
but you always, no matter how busy you are, spared some time to browse on the player before you met them, in case it was someone you should be worried for, or someone you should be thankful of for their media-darling persona, or someone you should be working twice as hard because they didn’t know what to do. worse, someone you’d worked together before but you forgot.
for rúben dias, though… you didn’t know which one of the categories above fitted him best. you were rendered speechless at your search bar result. you could bet your entire month salary that he was someone you had yet the chance to create a content together because if he already did, you wouldn’t have that face of his wiped off your brain.
which was exactly why you should be worried.
you had never worked with someone that looks like adonis when he decides to ascend himself from olympus. or so you’d like to think rúben was what adonis would’ve looked like if greek mythology happens to be true.
sadly, nobody warned you that he was even more beautiful up close, as he strutted his way to your creator team, with a tousled hair he kept tussling against, as well as the bright smile and warm laugh he’d drop here as he went through pre-production brief. his voice was so melodic it soothed all the soreness to your eardrums—thanks to jack grealish—in one simple video production, and you mentally thought you could replay the edited video later whenever you needed to go to sleep, like an asmr or some sort, because it really felt like a blanket on a rainy day.
your heart ached at the sight because my goodness… he was simply too beautiful for your own good.
it shouldn’t be doing all that jumping and leaping and drumming, though, because those were the early signs of you getting biased.
and it could only mean one thing in every professional language possible: bad.
with your very generous pay check on the line, you couldn’t afford to fail. so that day, you made a promise to yourself to do what you had to do, and thankfully it was what your introvert self do best.
*✿❀○❀✿**✿❀○❀✿**✿❀○❀✿*
while you knew what to do, rúben—on the contrary—seemed lost.
no, the portugese was lost.
contrary to popular belief, footballers are actually smart. at least, if they are not book smart, they’re definitely street smart. rúben would like to think he’s got a bit of both worlds, so it could justify his own judgement of you.
his eyes were keen, as his job required him to do so, and he’s got an incredible sensing, enough to read a gigantic elephant in the room when there was one. the combination scanned your change in attitude on the day he first worked with you and the present time.
you were so friendly and eager to work with him, welcoming his extended hand as he introduced himself to you for the first time. he remembered your smile, blinding against the bleak manchester weather but instead of feeling cold, he only felt warmth and fuzzy all over his body.
but as the filming session went on, your smile was close to non-existent, just like the probability of the two of you running into each other again. he initially thought it was only because you got so many takes already and the job exhausted you, but he later realised you were avoiding him. as subtle as you could anyway.
at the beginning, he only thought you missed the way he waved at you. or the time when he thought you put his row of seat last for a mandatory picture in your disposable camera, for aesthetics’ sake.
the time when he offered you a ride home, though—that was the final confirmation. the weather had started snowing on some days, and you were certainly freezing by the look of your shivering shoulders and teetering teeth, so rúben offered you a ride home. but you turned down the offer, ever so politely like usual. yes, yes of course you had the rights but the most logical thing was to accept them instead of waiting for the next bus, no?
(oh, believe him, he knew she was waiting. he managed to parked far away from your sight but close enough to see that you did indeed wait for the next bus to arrive and take you to the nearest station. he knew, and he remembered that day because it was the only day he had to fight himself from running down the street just to give you another layer of coat.)
his first instinct was to think that he’d wronged you somehow during the filming. was he demanding? was he not up to your par of filming standard? was he not good enough for your cameras?
but james, your fellow co-worker, the one who worked together with you for this project, gave him an utterly confused look. “have you seen how the videos turned out? you were brilliant, rúben. and no, i don’t think i’ve heard any concerns from her about your ethics.”
so what did he still not do right that could’ve upset you?
rúben didn’t like where this was going because you’ve kept him intrigued. you kept him on his toes, bouncing lightly like a child full of curiosity. you kept him thirsty for more information about you and what makes you tick, lowkey in hope to bring out the smile rúben himself didn’t know he had missed seeing.
and if he discovered that he did indeed upset you somehow, and was somehow responsible for the disappearance of your shy smile, then he’d like to right them right away. he has to.
with that mentality, rúben took the chance to clock out earlier—which was like the seventh wonder of the world around etihad academy—in order to catch a glimpse of you on your off-work routine. he’d set himself resolved to only ask necessary questions, not more nor less, without any hidden agenda. no wishy washy, unlike his previous trials.
rúben did actually catch you for a split second. his beak was already opening, he’d only needed his voice box to produce the sound to the question in his mind, but the scene unravelled before him halted everything in him. every particle of his body, every molecule of his brain.
a black car swerved into the lane to the lobby, a pretty prestigious car at that, and the way your face lit up so brightly reminded him of the day you first worked together. it was a sight that rúben missed, it was a sight that rúben longed to see again.
he was so blinded by the ethereal view that he completely forgot his own plan, and watched as the black car swallowed his portion of small happiness of the day.
was that your boyfriend? if yes, then did you take rúben’s friendliness as a romantical advance to you? if yes, then was that the reason why you immediately put up a china wall between you two? if yes, then was he that protective or was he simply possessive?
rúben couldn’t deny his own infatuation of you. maybe it was why he was adamant to right things good between the two of you. but if you did in fact have a boyfriend, then he should find a way to reduce and silence this growing feeling—be it really infatuation or merely curiosity.
“does she have a boyfriend?”
but desperate times need desperate measures, and rúben saw ‘the black car incident’ was his sign to speed things up in order to find a concrete answer. even if it included asking jack grealish about you.
jack snorted, rather snobby. “how would i know, mate?”
“i thought you guys are close.”
“your definition of close is concerning,” jack replied as he shut his locker. “why don’t you ask her yourself? aren’t you the type to just charge at it first, think later?”
“i would’ve if she didn’t give me a cold shoulder.”
“have you tried?”
rúben was the one who didn’t hold back his snort this time. “of course i did.”
“then maybe you were asking the wrong question, mate.”
*✿❀○❀✿**✿❀○❀✿**✿❀○❀✿*
as much as rúben hated to confess that jack actually had a point, he had to give hands down. he might be asking the wrong question, he might be asking too much question, he might be asking the right question with the wrong approach.
bottom line, he’d concluded himself that he had to try until he succeeded. each time in different approach, different variables. logically speaking, it should take him somewhere for a clue. if it didn’t, it should at least tire you enough to have you spell the answer to his queries.
rúben had gathered enough information that you and your team had wrapped up filming for christmas and new year’s content, complete with kids involved and all. you were supposed to stay in the editing room, and working late on it because there was a teaser—which fell into your line of work under “short videos”—to be uploaded tomorrow evening.
he purposefully slowed his pace for anything that did not require physical activities and trainings, resulting in him also staying late to finish some of his homework—his affectionate nickname for video trainings he’d like to execute at home, in the comfort of his abode and plush suede pillows—so he could match your pace of work. he planned to catch you off guard the same way as ‘the black car’ incident.
at 8, you finally went out of your cave, precisely like his little rat had informed him before. so of course, you were startled to find rúben already standing against the railing in front of your office.
“rúben,” your voice got stuck in your throat but rúben thought it was a cute squeak. it was also a better response, rúben thought, too. you could’ve spat at him or shooed him away immediately. “what are you doing here?”
“i’m—” rúben thought about lying for a second, but he decided it’d contribute nothing to a start of a friendship. yes, friendship, because it was the bare minimum, no? “i’m waiting for you.”
your eyes widened, and that was when rúben noticed the golden specks on the orbs of your eyes. heartbreakingly stunning, solely because rúben only noticed this now.
you shifted the weight of your body from your right leg to your left one, and rúben found it endearing because he noticed that was an early sign an introvert—you, in this case—was starting to get nervous or uncomfortable. rúben hoped it was the former because that’d put you as cute as an awkward lone penguin.
“is there anything i can help you with?”
“yes, i’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
with his devastatingly beautiful look, his velvet voice and his intensely deep brown eyes, your heart palpitated so fast and so irregular that you were afraid rúben could see them falling and getting back into its designated place like a bungee jumper.
or maybe the rope snapped on its way down and never found its way up again, depending on the question about to be fired at you. at this point, your mind went funnily white, and you were ready to succumb into either pressure or temptation, depending on the question he’d fire you with.
“do you hate me?”
you seemed perplexed at his blatant question, but he’d take that reaction over anything else because it was something, especially compared to the invisible wall you’d put up since the first time you both had worked together.
“do you?” rúben pressed his voice gently, while he took a step closer to you. slowly but assertively.
the movement snapped you back to reality. you should not heed into pressure, but there was no use in lying because in reality, you really had no reason to hate him. if you had your chance, you would’ve done things the other way around.
“no, i don’t.”
another step closer. “but have you ever hated me?”
realising the 6-feet centre back was doing, you involuntarily moved backwards in the same amount of steps that he did, albeit the distance reached was certainly and significantly a huge gap you could never keep. “no, rúben—”
before you could finish your sentence, he obliterated every single space left in between the two of you and cornered you to the nearest wall. “then do you like me?”
you should be running, you should be fleeing, you should be screaming down the hill. you should be anywhere but here, trapped in between the long, strong and sturdy pair of his arms, the very same one he used to defend himself and the ball from the opponent. the very same one your eyes couldn’t lie but appreciate its masculinity.
rúben noticed the miniscule movement of your eyes, despite your tightened body language, and it brought a little smile on the corner of his lips. maybe he had indeed asked all the wrong question in all the previous times he’d had the chance.
“tell me,” rúben then pronounced your name in the way no one else could, so soft and velvet like a fine cashmere being caressed against your eardrums, that shivers ran down your entire body as if you were struck by a lightning. “please tell me that, at least.”
so paradoxic, you thought inwardly at the sensation. and you supposedly hated the way he confused you, but you didn’t this time—you didn’t even detest the way he seemed enjoying this whole thing, by the way he pulled of a subtle smirk that busted your knees slowly but surely—and it made you even more crazy because what the hell was this?
you tried to mask it off by looking him straight in the eyes. well, tried to, at least, because the moment your eyes were connected with the milkiest brown orbs that reminded you of a hot chocolate on a wintry day, you couldn’t help but look away. “what do you want me to say?”
rúben didn’t fight a full smile from blooming on his face, as the tip of his finger aligned your face gently to face his. he really likes the fact you gave him a fair fight to remain indifferent still, even when everything else of your body failed to be your auxiliary. “do you like me?”
“i do—”
“then would you like to have a dinner with me tonight?”
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