I’ve seen you post some labru stuff and I’m curious what your thoughts on it are. personally I don’t see it? I can buy Kabru having feelings for Laios, but I think Laios wouldn’t be interested in Kabru, so it makes me wonder why so many people ship them. (Tbh I feel like Kabru has more chemistry with Mithrun anyway)

Sorry if this ask sounds rude, I just genuinely don’t understand the appeal of the ship, but I want to understand and I trust your analysis of characters very much :] maybe there’s something I’m missing

I really like both ships, actually!

For labru, there’s sooooo much I could talk about. The inherent homoeroticism of being narrative foils. The inherent homoeroticism of being the king’s advisor. All of chapter 76. The fact that Kabru has mask upon mask upon mask, and Laios is the first person that made his facade absolutely crumble.

Kabru struggles with being genuine!!! Everything he says and does is so perfectly calculated, even when he sort of means it. But since Laios doesn’t get social cues, Kabru gets thrown for a loop.

I get so frustrated when people act like Kabru still hates Laios by the end of the manga!!!!! He killed those corpse retrievers for being corrupt, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to kill Laios. He has such a strong sense of justice, and knew that killing Laios would be a mistake. Because, after meeting him, he could tell he wasn’t actually evil. He’s strange, sure, but not evil.

Kabru DEFINITELY wants to be friends with Laios!! He was not lying about this!!!

But this last comic shows how much Laios wants to be friends with Kabru, too. He’s so nervous after calling Kabru his friend 😭 he doesn’t want to be presumptuous and fuck it up again.

Laios does show an interest in Kabru, at least when Laios thinks he’s interested in eating monsters too. Like,, what was up with THIS

Laios’s gaze is LINGERING. Plus, (this is before that bit at Thistle’s house when he forgets his name) he brings up Kabru when they first form their plan to eat Falin.

And maybe this is just because of my own personal experiences, but Laios reminds me a lot of my own girlfriend. I think they have a similar flavor of gay/aspec & autism combo where, had I not asked her out first, she probably never would have considered being interested in me. But she was very down when I did.

The tricky part about labru is more the political aspect. Regardless of whether you see Laios as aroace or not, he’s in a situation where he will probably get married. He had a fiancée before he was age 13, likely betrothed since he was a baby. He’s already comfortable with the idea of getting married because He’s Supposed To.

However, Laios is king, and could make gay marriage legal if he wanted to (He would probably do this for his sister and Marcille before considering it for himself ). But at the same time, I think Kabru would object to Laios making whatever policies he wants without considering the repercussions of how other kingdoms might react, especially when they’re just getting Melini off the ground and need lots of support from other countries. Laios and Kabru getting gay married anyway and dealing with the aftermath could make for a really compelling story.

I do think Kabru would be a good ruler. He’s already fit for it. He speaks a dozen languages, he knows people and their motivations, and likes politics. The manga already joked about Chilchuck’s daughters trying to marry a king, so it seems like noble blood isn’t too important, but Kabru’s foster family IS nobility. When it comes to heirs, I do like trans Kabru headcanons, but at the same time, I think it’d be cute if they adopt anyway. Kabru seems like he’d have strong feelings about adoption given,,, yknow.

The alternative version of labru to this is Laios gets straight married out of obligation, and Kabru is his mistress hdhdhshsj. I don’t know if I could see Laios doing that? or if Kabru would risk the scandal of being outed as Royal Advisor and Regent trying to seduce the king. It could go SO downhill. but maybe that would be fun.

NOW FOR KABUMISU.

I knew people shipped them, and I could see the basis for it while reading, but I wasn’t really sold on it until the very end. There’s something about “I had no desires left. I decided to create new desires, and one of them is you” that’s really charming.

There’s also something funny about “the demon ate my heterosexuality so I’m gay now”

I think it’s interesting that Kabru hates elves. He was raised by them, and he hates them. He hates feeling patronized by them. He made absolutely sure that elves wouldn’t take control over Melini, not just for his sake, but for Rin’s.

But Mithrun’s interactions with Kabru are founded on more mutual respect. Though, that’s not to say that Mithrun doesn’t still have his biases towards short lived races..

Where Laios doesn’t understand social cues, Mithrun does but just doesn’t care. For that reason, I think Kabru would enjoy spending time with Mithrun. It’d give him a break from his compulsion to calculate all of his social interactions. But at the same time, Kabru is the KING at bottling his emotions. Mithrun is blunt, but also doesn’t care enough to pry. If Kabru had anything bothering him, I could imagine him seeking Mithrun’s company to avoid thinking about it. Could make for a fun dynamic.

I do think it’s funny that Milsiril 1) took care of Mithrun for potentially 20 years and 2) is only four years older than him. I imagine this could lead to funny situations.

I don’t ship things for no reason! I think both of these could work platonically, romantically, one-sided, or even “requited but they don’t do anything about it.” Their relationships compel me and I think it’s sort of bad faith to brush off either like they’re nothing more than baseless yaoi pair-the-spares. To me, I see just as much of a foundation in the source material as farcille.

After all, dungeon meshi isn’t a story about romance, but it IS a story about love. It’s a story about life and death and grief and the love that comes with it. Regardless of shipping, these characters love each other!!! And I love talking about it!!

“Mike’s not gonna forgive this one” mlvns are gonna be shook when the only thing Mike is doing next season is try to save Will from Vecna’s bullshit lmao

Tbh I think a lot of people really aren’t prepared for how much s5 is going to subvert their expectations about Mike’s character, not just his sexuality/liking Will/the focus his and Will’s relationship will get, but the fact that he has motivations, desires and inner conflicts that don’t revolve around El. He’s not going to be her “protector”, terrified of losing her and putting her on a pedestal for the rest of their lives. He’s going to heal from that trauma of s1 and let her go, and discover what actually makes him happy. I’m literally so excited to see him develop his understanding of love and relationships and who he is. But to some El truly is the be all & end all of his existence and the entire point of his arc over the series, so the whiplash will be pretty significant.

the other Tiffany Problem

I reblogged a post earlier about the OTW elections (AO3 is under their umbrella) that was warning folks about one of the candidates, Tiffany.

A lot of good points were made and I went and read the transcripts myself to get a better idea of the problem and then came back and read some of the comments being made on the post to get a feel for the situation on this side of things.

Most people are, IMO, understandably concerned about Tiffany and her viewpoint that “stricter guidelines” are needed on certain content. Some, however, are using her ESL status as an excuse and others are accusing the suspicious folks of racism because Tiffany is Chinese.

Personally speaking, I don’t care where Tiffany is from and I think she’s better in English than some native speakers I’ve encountered. What I DO care about is that she continuously refers to AO3 as hosting pedophilic content and cites it as the reason it was banned in China. Even after the moderator corrected her and said that there’s no pedophilia on AO3, she continued to hammer that point. She’s factually wrong and THAT is a problem.

Having a difference of opinion? Sure, that’s to be expected and getting multiple perspectives is almost always a good idea. Misrepresenting facts, however, is a different animal, and it’s a dangerous one. From the skimming I’ve done, AO3 wasn’t banned in China for hosting pedophilia (which, again, it DOES NOT DO), it’s a far more nebulous “sexual innuendo and explicit content.” Fictional underage sex might be included in that, but it isn’t the sole reason, and the general vibe I get is that it’s far more about queer content than anything else.

Tiffany’s stance seems to revolve almost entirely around this “pedophilia” accusation (again, WRONG) and her wanting to try and improve the Archive’s “public image.” As far as I’ve seen, the only issue AO3′s “public image” has is among the Purity Cult who are obsessed with anything they perceive as sexually immoral and use “pedophilia” as a rallying cry to try and arm folks with torches and pitchforks.

The thing is that AO3 already has policies in place forbidding shit like that. The TOS are publicly available and in plain speech, but the A.ntis don’t care because their definition of “pedophilia” isn’t the US legal definition, it’s an amorphous category that includes fictional depictions of sex/romance between two or more characters who have an age difference of 5+ years even when all of them are legal adults. Hells, even when there isn’t any sex it gets labeled as pedophilia because it’s such a triggery, meaning-laden word.

Or at least it used to be a meaningful word. The A.ntis have done their level best to make it meaningless by applying it to anything they don’t like in fanfiction/art. Which is a whole additional essay, TBH.

What it boils down to is that Tiffany is wrong. Not just “has a different opinion,” but WRONG. Fundamentally. And it isn’t a case of her not “understanding” English, because she has a damn good grasp on that.

Adding more language and clarification to the TOS would be fine, but it isn’t going to change how the Purity Cult views AO3 because they don’t care. Updating the TOS would require people to READ the TOS and those folks aren’t doing it. As for the tagging system, those tags already exist. Nothing additional is required. While some people don’t tag things properly, most do, especially for triggering content like that. And yes, even “Author chose not to use warnings” counts as a warning in itself.

I’d say the problem is less “people are being exposed to content they didn’t expect to see” and more “certain people with ulterior motives are specifically seeking out ‘dead dove: do not eat’ content and feigning shock when they find it.”

Hopefully once Tiffany’s been around longer her worldview will open up and she’ll realize how wrong she was to classify certain content on AO3 as pedophilia. Until then I don’t think she should hold any position on the OTW board.

It’s too late to join and vote in this year’s election, but those of you who are current members should pay close attention. Those who missed the deadline should consider joining (or rejoining) so we can add to the numbers keeping an eye on this situation.

You don’t have to answer this but I’ve always been hugely inspired by your writing and I’ve always wondered how you keep yourself motivated?

Not just on the bigger fics but even the one-shots. What keeps you going? My biggest struggle lately has been motivation after going through a bit of a mental health struggle and as I’ve been trying to come out of it, I feel like my writing is no longer as good as it used to be. I used to write all the time and it felt like I could turn anything into content but now it just feels like everything I write goes nowhere.

I feel like maybe I’m just putting too much pressure on myself to put out content rather than just enjoying it like I used to but I’ve felt a lot of guilt from not putting anything out in so long.

Anyways like I said, you absolutely don’t have to answer this but I thought I’d throw it out there to see if you had any advice you’d want to share, it would be hugely appreciated.

this is a really good question! unfortunately my answer I think only really works for me and not most people. part of the reason I write so much is because writing is my escape from whatever is going on in my life that's stressing me out. the busier I am, the more I want to write. and when I don't have the inspiration/energy to write for too long, my mental health gets worse as a result.

truthfully, a lot of the time it's easier for me to process a fictional character's emotions than my own. so when my mental health is bad or I'm getting too sucked into my own head, writing isn't just something I do for the hell of it. I need it to keep me from spiraling too deeply into my own head. (of course this doesn't always work and it depends on what I'm writing about, but this is true for the most part)

so for me, the way I keep my motivation up is that I know I'm going to feel like shit if I don't write. I find joy in plunging myself into fictional worlds and characters and, as I said, I use it as my escape. while I know not everyone uses writing as an escape like I do, the one bit of advice I think you might be able to take from me is to try and find the joy in it. don't force yourself to write something you don't want to. don't write something just because you think it's what other people want to see.

I completely understand the pressure to write for content rather than your own enjoyment, especially when you have unfinished works. but you have to remind yourself you're not obligated to update anything. you're writing fanfiction for free. you don't owe it to anyone.

and I also totally get feeling like your writing is worse now, and while I doubt that's true, even if it is, you gotta push through. the only way you're going to get back in the groove of writing is by doing it.

honestly if I have any recommendation for you, write something to post anonymously. sure, you're not updating whatever you have ongoing, but again you don't owe it to anyone. sometimes you just need to get back in the saddle. maybe you can use this as an opportunity to write an idea you weren't sure your audience would react well to. or maybe you can just use this to start a project you feel like you won't finish, but want to put out in the world anyway. I've done this before and it definitely helps to get me back in the writing mindset. you don't have to feel embarrassed for posting this other thing instead of your ongoing wips on main, because no one will know it's you.

I hope this helps! I know it's not easy letting go of the pressure and tbh it never leaves entirely, but just try to find joy in writing for writing's sake rather than content.

Task Insurance

So a thing I’ve noticed being around a lot of neurodivergent people and spaces is that a lot of nt people don’t seem to understand why executive dysfunction and lack of motivation makes it so hard to Do Stuff. This is kinda how my brain processes it, so maybe it’ll help other people get it?

Say you have a Task. Doesn’t matter what right now, but it’s there and needs to be done, and it has three basic upfront costs.

Time - 15 minutes, an hour, a week; however long it takes to do The Task

Energy - for however much effort The Task needs

Motivation - to actually start The Task and keep doing it

You can’t skip out on any of these - you have to “pay” all three in full to do The Task. No motivation, you can’t start; no energy, you can’t finish or work at all.

Those costs aren’t equally difficult to pay, however: time can be set aside and planned, energy can usually be mustered or at least scrounged up, but motivation can’t be forced.

For neurotypicals, that motivation cost is covered by NT Insurance in most cases, so the only thing they need to pay “out of pocket” are the time and energy costs. Neurodivergent people don’t have NT Insurance, though, so they have to “pay” all three on their own.

For example. Let’s say the Task is Clean The Bathroom. You’re neurotypical, so your motivation cost is covered already, and you’ve made the time to Clean The Bathroom. You have at least enough energy to do two subtasks (Clean Toilet and Clean Shower) and possibly a third. This’ll be easy!

Now let’s say you’re neurodivergent. You still have the time and energy above, but you’re out of spoons or something similar and just can’t cover the last cost. Welp. No clean bathroom for you, unless it’s so bad that Panic Insurance is paying in full for all three costs.

See, that’s what happens without NT Insurance. If you can’t pay the cost yourself, and that’s often the case, something else has to do it for you. That thing is usually panic. Or deadlines. Or “deadly black mold.” (Most of these are just panic with extra features, tbh.)

Executive dysfunction is like having your motivation funds tapped out, even if your time and energy funds are bursting. You can’t start a Task even if you wanted do, you can’t afford it.

You CAN, however, do a Thing. A Thing is not a Task, it’s not “work.” A Thing might be scrolling through social media, playing a game, going for a walk, anything with low motivation costs that’s enjoyable and/or easy. It’s that sweet quick-return dopamine vs the later return a Task might provide. For some nd people, a Task might not provide any dopamine upon completion, so there’s no reward to work towards. And without that reward, a lot of nd people lose any reason to do said Task.

For NTs, “the satisfaction of a job well done” is so fundamental to their experience that the idea of it not existing for everyone is baffling. They don’t even realize motivation is a cost, because it’s so often covered for them. And so when nd people talk about motivation and executive function issues, they think it’s about being lazy or not trying hard enough.

It’s not.

Lazy is “I could do it now, but I don’t feel like it.” Executive dysfunction is “I could literally do it right now if my brain would just cooperate for once, but instead I’m stuck in stasis mode trying to convince my legs to work.”

So for anyone that needs it: you’re not lazy, and you’re not broken. You just don’t have Task Insurance when everyone expects you to because they do.

(This is not at all an expert pov and kind of written off the cuff, so please correct me if/where I’m wrong 😅)

in defense of thranduil

hello! so you know how i occasionally do “in defense of” meta posts about unpopular characters ( X X X ) ? well, i’ve been thinking for a while about doing one for thranduil, but i wasn’t quite sure how to go about it since tbh, i don’t think anyone could call thranduil unpopular. his ao3 tag is very well-populated, and, ahem, a good portion of it is smut lol. he even has a ton of “x reader” stuff about him on tumblr, which to me is usually the hallmark of a popular character. but i’ve felt the urge to defend him anyway, and i think it’s because... well. i do think a character can be both popular and misunderstood, and for all the thranduil enthusiasm i’ve seen, i’ve seen just as much thranduil hate and criticism, so clearly something about him has people at odds. specifically, a lot of people seem to think he’s a bad dad, and/or that the peter jackson movies totally butchered his character, which is really interesting to me because i actually believe neither. so i’m going to try to illustrate why! i’ll be primarily discussing movie-verse thranduil in this post, with a few references to the books as a secondary source. so without further ado, here is why i think thranduil is A Good Dad Actually, and the movies are not a “butchering” of but a compelling darker/grittier spin on a character who - since he exists in tolkien’s written works only in a book for children and in the margins of a sprawling and very bloody history - only really works if you reconcile those two things. 

under a cut because as always, this is LONG!

let’s first talk about what seems to be people’s main grievance with movie-verse thranduil: the fact that he’s “turned into this greedy character whose only motive is getting back those gems” when that’s not what he’s like in the book. while it’s definitely true that there are a few key differences between book thranduil and movie thranduil, i actually don’t think that the two versions are so incongruous with each other. the areas where they differ, i think, flesh out movie thranduil into a character who compels beyond his simplified, kid-friendly presentation in the hobbit book and who makes sense within the larger historical context of his world. it’s true that the elvenking in the hobbit isn’t explicitly interested in material gain. he mainly seems to get involved in the battle of the five armies to help out bard, since mirkwood is allied with laketown. and there’s also no mention in the book of the elvenking having lost his wife, even though that’s a key part of his backstory in the hobbit movies. in the movies, those gems that he’s so interested in getting back from the dwarves are actually a necklace that belonged to his wife before she died. he’s still motivated by wanting to help laketown - which is why he shows up before the battle with wagons of food and supplies for the starving people - but he’s also motivated by grief - something deeply personal that none of the other characters (except gandalf, because gandalf knows everything lol) are even aware of, and this, i feel, gives depth to his character. 

the thing is, thranduil seems greedy because none of the other characters know of, and thus inherently cannot understand, his real reason for pursuing the gems. and it’s true - at face value, it doesn’t make sense why he’d seemingly put his people at risk for a random necklace. a pretty harsh reading of thranduil’s motives could even align him with thorin’s dragon-sickness. but remember how the battle of the five armies started? thranduil and bard pulled up with their forces thinking it was gonna be all of them against twelve dwarves and a hobbit lol. they probably thought there’d be no casualties and it’d be over in twenty minutes! they had no way of knowing how many other forces were going to get involved. and when thranduil does see the first elves laying dead on the ground, he tries to draw out. he never wanted to spend his people’s lives like that. he realizes he had been blinded by his grief for his wife and had acted selfishly - and personally, i like this a lot better than the book’s sort of handwave-y explanation for why the elvenking is even bothering to involve himself and his kingdom in the (petty, by his standards) affairs of dwarves and men. because... movie thranduil is not just Like That for no reason. he has a whole history, going wayyy beyond his wife’s death even, that makes him the way he is - and that is what is so satisfying about his portrayal in the movies, because it actually attempts to acknowledge that deeper context. 

we have to remember that thranduil, at least in comparison to pretty much every other character in the hobbit, is old as hell. he reminds us of this multiple times in the movies: “a hundred years is a mere blink in the life of an elf. i can wait.” for a character who presumably shouldn’t need to worry or think about death, he’s unusually fixated on his own immortality in the movies, a trait that is missing from the books. and while i do get why some readers are charmed by the idea of an elf who doesn’t seem to perceive himself very differently than the men and dwarves he’s surrounded by, i’m a lot more drawn in by the idea of an elf who just can’t forget about how different he is. because if you actually think about where thranduil fits into the bigger history of middle-earth, it’s sort of hard to turn the page back from this darker, more scarred side to him - because yeah, he might live forever if he avoids conflict, but he also knows death in a way that someone like bilbo baggins would not even be able to conceptualize. thranduil was born in doriath in the first age, making him old enough to likely have been involved in not one but two kinslayings against his people. we know nothing about his mother, making it likelier than not that she was lost in one of them when he was still a child. his father, oropher, the original elvenking of the greenwood, was killed in the battle of dagorlad in the second age - the “last stand” of elves against sauron. thranduil, fighting alongside him and the silvan elves, had to watch his father die and then be crowned as the new king right then and there. (also, oropher died in the very first charge of the battle, which then continued on for months. imagine how hard it’d have been to stave off that creeping hopelessness.) and finally, thranduil’s wife was killed in battle at some point not long after their son was born. thranduil’s dragon fire scar on his face is an invention of the movies, and it’s unclear when exactly it happened - at the same battle where he lost his wife? some time earlier? but anyways. i’ve been going on and on about his life for a reason, and that reason is Thranduil Has Seen A Lot Of Shit. it’s easy to look at him in the movies and critique him - why is he so cold? why is he an isolationist ruler when in the books he’s more welcoming (after initially chucking the dwarves in jail, lol)? but the hobbit isn’t really thranduil’s story, so exposing all of this context in the movies wouldn’t have made much sense, would it. and i actually like that there are some gaps, because that’s what makes him so interesting. no one knows his history, and why should they? when it comes down to it, thranduil is just a side character in someone else’s adventure. 

the last thing that i really want to address is thranduil’s relationship with legolas, his son - partly to refute the idea that he’s a bad dad, but also partly to talk about how despite all the griping that i’ve seen about how stupid it was to “randomly” insert legolas into the hobbit movies, it actually made so much sense for both of their characters. obviously, while it’s confirmed elsewhere that thranduil/the elvenking is legolas’s dad, legolas is not actually in the hobbit book. but this, i think, is more so to do with the fact that tolkien wrote the lord of the rings (and invented legolas’s character) after he wrote the hobbit, and less so to do with the idea that legolas is inherently “irrelevant” to the story of the hobbit. because if legolas is irrelevant to the hobbit, then is he irrelevant to thranduil? i really don’t think so, because even though tolkien gave us no clues as to what their relationship might’ve been like, even the fact that they’re father and son is really important. for thranduil, the fact that he has a son adds dimension not just to who he is in the movies - and yes, we see a fraught side of his dynamic with legolas as he has to reconcile with legolas growing up and wanting a freedom that thranduil with his too-deep understanding of the world’s dangers doesn’t want to give - but also to the concept of his character. thranduil has lost so many people he loved in horrible ways that now legolas is all he has left, and consequentially there’s so much talk about him as an oppressive parent, so paranoid of losing him that he keeps him imprisoned inside the always-closed kingdom gates. but at the end of the hobbit movies, thranduil also gives legolas his blessing to go on the quest to destroy the one ring. when it comes down to it, he is willing to let legolas do what's best for him, even knowing that this could be how he loses him. i know thranduil isn’t a perfect parent, that’s pretty obvious lol. but i don’t see how people watch these movies and their takeaway isn’t that he’s at least trying his best and that he does genuinely love his son. also, look at legolas! legolas is clearly proud of his identity as a wood elf. and he’s happy, he’s caring, he’s adventurous, he’s even pretty wise despite being one of the youngest elves. i don’t exactly see a traumatized victim of horrible parenting in him (and believe me, there is no shortage of victims of terrible parenting in the silmarillion/elsewhere in tolkien’s works) - i see a strong and well-adjusted young adult who wouldn’t hesitate to threaten anyone who spoke ill of his father’s kingdom with his bow lol. 

anyway, if you’ve made it this far through my rambling, i hope you can understand at least part of what i’m trying to say lol. it’s hard, because i have so many things i’m kind of trying to say all at once, but: tl;dr i actually think the hobbit movies did thranduil’s character right, not wrong, and that they do the opposite of proving that he’s a bad dad. :3

Regarding your post about the Titan’s Tower thing, I think it’s a little irritating how many people treat it in fanon. In canon, Jason beats Tim up badly but doesn’t do anything too extreme, so it makes sense that it wouldn’t be Tim’s biggest trauma at the time. Fanon ramps it up to 11 and often makes so that Jason gleefully tortures Tim to the point of it being irredeemable. But then they double back and try to make us feel bad for Jason and try to make both of them reconcile by saying “it was the pit that made him do it”. I find it tasteless and honestly a little triggering.

Yeah, it’s a little bit backwards because in fanon it seems like a lot of people are writing about Titan’s Tower to try to...fix Tim and Jason’s early relationship, I guess, while still keeping it angsty? But without reading Teen Titans #29 or the surrounding comics, there’s no context for what they’re trying to fix. I think a lot of them don’t realize that the throat-slitting thing was in Batman: Hush, for example, not at Titans Tower. So they make this particular attack worse just by adding that in.

I’ve also noticed a lot of confusion over ages, making Tim much younger than he was (like 13-14 instead of 16) and Jason a bit older (he should be 18, but fics often seem to have no idea--and tbh that’s fair because the comic artists didn’t seem to know either lol). Which, like with the Tim vs Damian issue, it does change the dynamic of the fight when they have a larger age gap.

Also IMO Jason wasn’t even trying to leave Tim for dead, like I don’t think that was the point of the fight for him. It honestly seemed like the fight itself doesn’t last long and it was mostly Jason venting and seeing what Tim is like, along with kinda sending a message of “I’m here and I’m different than I was before; I did this.” Which doesn’t excuse Jason, I just don’t think people really get what the motivations were. If Jason wanted to kill Tim, he could have, but I honestly don’t think that was the point of the fight for him.

And yeah, the mischaracterization of pit madness is a big part of it. Not that Jason couldn’t have been affected by the pit at all (Ra’s seemed to think there was some influence), but he DOES have full autonomy over his actions, the pit can’t take full control of Jason and make him do things against his will—in comics, pit madness is not really an embodied force of the pit with an autonomous will to control peoples actions so they do specific things it wants (can a vat of mysterious chemicals even want anything?).

Jason is not really being mind controlled or possessed by the pit...because the pit isn’t an entity that can do that, at least not in any comics I’ve read. But fanon does treat it like it almost has a mind of its own, giving him glowing green eyes when its influencing him most (even though Jason wasn’t even dumped in a green pit, it was orange; and his eyes were still blue because the pits don’t usually change your eye color...).

I understand people like the supernatural element of all that, but there’s already a supernatural element to the Lazarus Pit, just not in that way, and adding all of this would require reworking a lot of other things. Jason was absolutely the one who chose to go after Tim, even if his psyche was changed from being healed by the pit. And while Jason very much needed help because he was traumatized and mentally unstable, his need for help doesn’t absolve him of responsibility over his harmful actions—and it was his responsibility, not the pit’s or Talia’s.

Honestly, creating a new excuse for Jason’s actions does a disservice to his character and to every other character he hurt at the time. It doesn’t actually change anything Jason did, it just shifts the blame and autonomy of his actions away from him, even though he canonically did it of his own accord. Which then makes everyone else’s reactions look less reasonable just because they correctly recognize his autonomy in the harmful choices he made. If you don’t like what Jason chose to do in canon...maybe change his actions, not his responsibility over them?

It also completely undermines Jason’s point, which is that he is the one who did it. He set up the whole elaborate plot specifically because he wanted everyone (especially Bruce) to know it was him doing it. If you make the pit do it, that defeats the point. There are so many good ways to make Jason’s return kinder to his character, without changing nearly every feature and context of his story (and everyone else’s).

Do you ever struggle with feelings of discouragement or inadequacy if your fics don’t do as well as you had hoped?

I’m struggling with that myself. I try not to get so hung up on it but it’s very hard, especially when something I’m so proud of doesn’t do as well as my other works.

I don’t even feel motivated to write bc I don’t wanna set myself up for disappointment

Discouragement, sure, I think that's natural sometimes. But I really don't feel like stats have anything to do with adequacy. Baring my soul, yuck. But fuck it we ball. Sorry it's a long answer.

I don't think I've ever answered a serious ask aside from the time i created Dr. rock which hardly counts but I've seen a lot of people struggling with this lately and hope this might be idk comforting to a person or two without leading to debate/discourse.

You mentioned something you're proud of isn't doing as well as your other works, and I can see how that would be disappointing. For laughs, I'll compare 2 of mine. These fics are impossible to compare (as are most, I think) but I def understand the urge to measure yourself against what you see as the potential. Aches: <1k popular trope I banged out in no time, wasn't sure about it, literally thought "people don't have to like it" before I hit post. >4 notes per word. Left in Lincoln: >22k posted so far, challenging, writing it for months. Has possibly driven me crazy bc I had this passing thought the other day and not about TLOU. (I didn't feel like re-reading it all): "I should just rewatch the movie. . .wait." 🤡 The whole Lincoln series combined has fewer notes than Aches lmao. But it's far more rewarding in getting to see it come to life, quality of engagement, and stretching myself 😏. It's not for everyone, for various reasons. Surely would have better stats without the twist I went with. But at what cost??

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Often, if people don't read or like something, it's a reflection of their own interests, limitations, and assumptions. And the right "fit."

I don't rly read much in general, but specifically, I rarely read long stuff (if I do I prob scan a lot tbh). I normally only want, if any, just enough plot/premise to build sexual tension. I don't read fluff or angst. I don't have the attention span / commitment to get invested in original characters. I tend to avoid stuff similar to what I'm working on. I make assumptions - If there's no word count, maybe it's too long. I know a lot of the fics I skip for these reasons must be fantastic. Assumptions I experience - I've seen very popular fics in the wild that strike me as dark, creepy, or pervy but aren't tagged that way. So some things that are tagged dark, etc., including plenty of mine, might not be dark in the way people assume based on their own ideas, or based on what others do tag. Also some people think I only write dark when sometimes it's just horny (see master list).

I've sometimes found myself thinking "It sucks more people don't read this bc i bet they would enjoy it" (not just my own fics). It might sound egotistical but I think it's often true.

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Of course I want engagement because that means more people reading something which can mean more interaction, discussion, learning what you liked, what you think, etc. that's what I love.

But notes aren't rly near the top of what I care about, even though it does feel great to get them and I truly appreciate every single one.

Night walks doesn't get nearly as many notes as some of my other stuff, especially these days, but it's fun to write and I like to feed his feral fans who only get more into him with time. Same with raider: among those who do read and engage, I sense rising enthusiasm, thirst, and rate of falling in love with him (my bad). That's all worth more than 1000 likes to me. I have a good time writing these guys, so I write them more than other ones that get way more notes 🤷. I'm not saying notes don't matter at all, I know they affect exposure and engagement. But if just did what gets notes, I don't think I'd have such high quality engagement bc I'd just bang out more stuff with the most popular tropes instead of our fave Joels and those destined to become our faves bc they offer something special.

My outlook was the same before I had so many followers btw. Rock Bottom (22k) was what I felt like writing, still more ambitious than anything I've done in the Halloween fandom. I was disappointed it got way less attention than my one shots, but I know it's a banger, just certainly not for everyone lol.

-

I'm sorry for what you're experiencing and feeling, but I think it's very common and hope you can reframe it to not feel inadequate. I especially hope it doesn't discourage you from writing. ❤️

รєא ฬ/ ץ๏ย 🫵🏽 Ŧг๏๓ ץ๏ยг ๔єรՇเภє๔ קєгร๏ภ 🍇🍸🫄🏽

Omgggg Thank y’all for the love on my last PAC! This is the first time I’ve done a 18+ reading so please give feedback so I can improve. Enjoy the reading! Also thanks for 100 followers 🐞

I also added music interpretations this time!

18+ | Minors DNI | Pic an image below 1,2,3,4,5

Pile 1 - The Monarchs

I get a sense that you liked to be serviced. All eyes on you (pillow prince(ess) vibes🤴🏽). You might also appreciate group dynamics. You enjoy the sense of being protected, swept off your feet, and so on. You might be a virgin or fairly inexperienced because your destined person thinks you need help in the s*x department. This could also mean you’ve never orgasmed or had a truly pleasurable experience in bed. Your destined person is going to show you how to reach climax, pleasure yourself, and overall enjoy sex. Lmao I heard ‘super soaker’ so you might be a squirter or they just love how they can get you that turned on. Your DP loves your cum. The taste, smell, texture. They love fingering you and feeling inside of you! Also your destined person sees you moving away from old sexual habits leaning to the more hedonistic side. Basically, they’re here now so you don’t need that other stuff and/or you can find new stuff together :) They just want you to be safe. Your DP is a giverrrrr. I’m seeing gifts in the physical like lingerie and toys. Some of you might be long distance or you and your DP spend a lot of time separated due to work. These toys and gifts are important for keeping y’all connected on that intimate level while away. I also think your DP will want to experiment and have fun in the bedroom. They’ll do anything to get to close as you as possible lmao (not in a creepy way tho). Also for gifts, they’re also ‘packing’ and love to offer said package 😅. I’m also seeing that they like to treat you. It turns them on. It’s giving paypig energy. You are their god(dess) and they are a devout follower. (Sidenote: they love to give you head. They take pride in it. How they can make you cum from their mouth alone or fairly quickly) Back to what I was saying, they want you to be high class, dressed up, just exquisite. They like when you swallow their cum.

From the songs, you expect devotion. Your partner should give you all your desires and more from gifts to orgasms. You may not be actually accepting of this energy when it comes to you. In the beginning of your relationship, sex may not be the focus. You or your DP will want someone they can trust. You’ll need to build a bond to be willing to go deeper with this person. Tbh you talk the talk but don’t walk the walk which is valid because a lot of you are inexperienced in either sex or relationships in general. Your DP knows they have to earn your trust and wait for you to remove the guards you have up. They want to promise themselves to you or the other way around. Sex with you is more than sex its an agreement of sorts and your DP understands that. They will be in love with you and will pursue sex with you from that but you may not believe these to be their true motivators. you’re honestly very suspicious of other peoples desires to be with you sexually (which i totally understand and your DP does too) they are going to try really hard to not push and patiently support your desires to not have sex right away or accept certain gifts, or wait to be vulnerable with them.

Tidbits: Hotel, car, money, gloss, soaked, gown, evening, party, gala, trip, work

I hope you enjoyed your reading! I appreciate all likes, reblogs, and feedback! Please visit my masterlist for more PACS, Ask Games, Paid Readings and more!

Pile 2 - The Sweet Talkers

Lmao!!!! I gasped at every card I pulled. You know how to work your destined person. Whether their submissive or not, they are WRAPPED around your finger. Sheesh, they got it bad. Say something and it’s yours. Peep the mouth next the the photo. They like when you talk in your ear. Your words just, control them. They pierce through the most vulnerable aspects of them. A caregiver kink may be present. Although your words can be sharp they can also be comforting. On one side, you demand a certain standard that your DP loves to meet and then on the other, your just holding your DP like your sweet baby. Some of you may be interested in or your partner is interested in group ‘play’ and/or dual penetration. A foursome may happen or having multiple toys inside you or your partner. BDSM, bondage, pet play may be of interest to you. Some level of confinement and restrictions. This could also represent edging. You might also use sex in your relationship to ease tensions from work, arguments, or past pains. (Please be careful to also release these in other ways as-well) I also think sex frees the both of you from your daily worries and the illusions about one self. Physical touch could greatly help your partner or you heal certain insecurities and wounds. Lmao after y’all do the do y’all are so care free. All your stress, gone. Lmao scorpio/7h/prominent mars placements. Sew swings might also play a role in the bedroom or toys that keep someone open for the other.

Based on your channeled song, they want give everything to you. And they want you to take it. A lil forceful or greedily. You have all parts of them and you using their body is a gift to them. They might also like to roleplay with power imbalance. Maybe y’all have RBF or you just exude a strong energy but it turns them on. They want you to see them as beneath them during the act. You have control and they want you to toy with them and their emotions. They might want you to ask them to prove their worth to you. Why should your destined person get to lay with you. I see your DP with big puppy eyes just looking for your acceptance and approval which plays back into the caregiver thing I mentioned. Degradation and praise kinks are heavy.

Tidbits: Poly, swingers, leash, rope, confined, mark, choke, slap, arm, furniture, bars, Lick this pu$$y, neck, back, crack

I hope you enjoyed your reading! I appreciate all likes, reblogs, and feedback! Please visit my masterlist for more PACS, Ask Games, Paid Readings and more!

Pile 3 - The Craftsmen

Um, I feel like sex with your Destined Person involves a penis. If that doesn’t suit you this may not be your pile. I will keep it body inclusive but heads up. Their is an emphasis of hands on wands here so I think they like you to give them handjobs, finger them, in general using your hands and gripping. This person literally loves what you do with your hands. You may have redefined handjobs, fingering, etc for your DP. The way you do it is simply life changing. I feel like you take your time with your hands and show your DP new ways of using them. Straight up doing things they never expected. You may be more kinky or experienced than your DP. Or you just have some hidden knowledge. You take your time to get to know your DP’s body and how to work it. You can tell exactly when to switch it up or ride it out. It’s some kind of sorcery to your DP. I went to get more clarification AND THERES JUST MORE WANDS lmao. You reciprocate an energy with your DO that they’ve never experienced. You both find joy in pleasuring your partners that the give and take ends up being equal because you’re both so focused on giving. Your DP sees sex with you as a mini (or not so mini) retreat from everyday stressors. Your hands after a ling days work is heaven. More than they could ever ask for. You both might enjoy morning or afternoon sex.

From the songs, you are skilleddddddd. You know how to work your magic! You can turn someone on and pleasure them in ways that is frankly miraculous. Like how many people can ACTUALLY say Sex with Me actually resonates 😭 You do what you need to. Literally sex does not get better than you and it’s addicting. You can turn your DP on from a text alone. When you want it, you can have it. If you don’t feel this experienced this will come later in the relationship. Your sex life with your DP spans years! They are literally obsessed with you and your body. Your relationship is so homey that the sex comes naturally. They love seeing every inch of you and worshiping it. In the beginning of y’alls sexual endeavors or prior they will just be confused as to how they got your attention and even more so that is real love. They like to take away your stress with sex. You have a lot pent up due to your responsibilities and they want to deal with it for you.

Tidbit: Garden, Apartment, daytime, lunch break, coworkers

I hope you enjoyed your reading! I appreciate all likes, reblogs, and feedback! Please visit my masterlist for more PACS, Ask Games, Paid Readings and more!

Pile 4 - The Bratz

Sex with you is almost like a fight? You may be bratty or rather dominant. You want what you want. You DP sees you as someone who is commanding. Also they may think about how other people want you, but they simply cannot have you. Their possessive but also very appreciative that you chose them. They like to use toys on you. They like the push and pull of being sexual with you. Some of you may be dominant in a submissive way???? Like you don’t do typical dom things but your very adamant about getting you way. They like to watch you. Seeing you get changed, being above them, just you. They want to be overwhelmed by your presence during the act. If your DP has a penis or likes to use a strap, they love penetration. Being inside of you is one of earths greatest treasures 🥹. If you like to penetrate then you DP thinks you lay goodt pipe. They like to cum in you or like when you cum in them. They may also like your androgyny or your tendency to live outside of gender roles/norms. Sex with you is consistently a good time. You might have turned their world upside down or changed their perspective on sex. Y’all like to play with each-others senses. Being blindfolded, tied up, and left in suspense waiting. They might also like to tickle you or use floggers. Anything to build the sensation. Sex with you is not just about the act but everything that led up to it. Whether it be date night, or you teasing them all day. There is an emphasis on waiting. They also probably love to tease you to bring out your bratty side even more. Especially if they don’t see this part of you often.

You are powerful. Your DP see you as a boss and also very bossy. Your aggression, power, and the way you express it can be very masculine and they love this. OHHHHH you and your DP are competing in the bedroom. Like who can achieve what. Who submits first. Who gets stimulated faster. They want to prove their the better lover 😗 but y’all are both so cocky. It wont happen. They also love how you aren’t afraid to confidently think your above them or better in some ways. If y’all share careers or goals, these achievements could also make their way into the bedroom. You have a way with them. They don’t get it and nobody else does either. They always want to see you or be with you. Your DP has a high sex drive, but specifically for you. Either your chest is very beautiful or you um…make them bust 😅. You might be from different worlds in a sense and those attributes you have from how you were raised make you so sexy and desirable. Your very amusing. Your uniqueness is a turn on.

Tidbits: dressup, doll, touch, smell, graze, tingles, spine, workshop, kinkster, shield, nudes, bust

I hope you enjoyed your reading! I appreciate all likes, reblogs, and feedback! Please visit my masterlist for more PACS, Ask Games, Paid Readings and more!

Pile 5 - The Preformer

I feel like this pile, at least in the bedroom, can be very dainty or highly feminine. They love this about you. Your moans, movements, and so on just scream cutesy and your person loves this. They see you as someone to protect and when they see you in this state it just proves to them even more that need to watch over you. It makes them feel needed and desired in a way they can’t explain. They also see you as entitled and high maintenance. Meeting your needs can be a tall order, but worth it in the end. They probably like you to dress up or perform for them. Maybe a strip tease or even just walking around in your clothes. You are simply sexy to them in all ways. They like that you keep this vulnerable side to you hidden. They may feel as though nobody could predict the person you are underneath meaning only they know. The way you hold and touch them makes them feel alive. You also might make them cum prematurely. They also like how manicured you are. You put so much attention into your appearance and apart of that drifts away in the bedroom while somethings stay. Like your nails are still their but your fully bare and open to them. Almost stripped of all the ways you hide or armor yourself. They see this as taking a great deal of trust and live that they’ve been chosen to see you. Like I said before, preforming is something you do well and they love how you can role-play or put on different acts to satisfy their needs.

From your songs, sex with you from your DPs perspective is like a relaxing afternoon. Like at Central Park on a summer day and there’s a nice breeze (that’s legit what i’m visualizing). You remind them of fresh linen. So light, airy, soft, and welcoming. Also your DP may be a foreigner and that adds a layer to your intimacy because how did they meet you among all the chaos of the world. They like to see you in designer and high quality. When you wear stuff like this around them it’s a treat. Like you walk in to a room at a party or wherever and their eyes find you and they melt. The Dominic Fike song is like their fantasy. Everyday with you is so loving. Your DP is so romantic and so is y’all’s sex life.

Tidbits: Yoga, leggings, dance, toes, Nail extensions

I hope you enjoyed your reading! I appreciate all likes, reblogs, and feedback! Please visit my masterlist for more PACS, Ask Games, Paid Readings and more!

See Ya,

ᴊᴜɴᴋʙʙʏ к๏ฬ

Tbh i don't think ranpo is confused about what other people around him feel,at least not entirely.i think he perfectly aware what others think ,he still acts arrogant and rude just because he doesn't care enough about others.He may had been in untold origins,but it's been like 12 years,he sure have improved a lot.

Also i don't know a lot about dazai,but i think although he may appreciate his past,he still won't want to talk about it.We never see him talking about his life in Mafia even after everyone in ada figured out he was in it.

about ranpo: he is incredibly intelligent, and he most likely understands other people and how they feel though his deduction.

however i seen it as many social rules not making sense to him. things such as why people act one way when they mean something else, or what the point in engaging in some sort of casual conversation before bringing up an ulterior motive, etc. that seem off to him.

i’m leaning a lot into the theory that ranpo is neurodivergent, specifically autistic here when i talk about that. social cues and understanding other people well are things many neurodivergent people struggle significantly with. as you get older, you can learn and adjust to how other people act but it doesn’t always make sense.

i’m a neurodivergent person myself, and seen myself and how i felt a lot within ranpo. i know that growing up you can learn to act how other people wish, however some social things are still completely lost to me lol. but that’s just my insight!!

about dazai: that’s a good interpretation as well! as of now, he doesn’t seem to hide his former mafioso status. there’s a chance he hid it before even for legal reasons, or just no longer wishing to be affiliated with such an organization.

you don’t have to talk about something constantly to embrace it, either. he can accept his past without speaking of it. it’s just the opposite of repressing something.

either way, you’re perfectly fine to interpret any characters however you wish!! please don’t let this post be me trying to pressure you into changing your mind or anything; i just wanted to explain my ideas. it’s great that bsd is filled with characters that can bring out complex discussion of morals as well, instead of making the characters generic and easy to figure out. thank you for your insight!! :))

kattttt im think of daedalus and the finale and how they’re similar and how they’re different how Dream and tommy tried to get someone to have the realization but it only worked for one how Dream in all his pain and anger continued the cycle of violence by killing sam and how tommy ultimately tried to break it with Dream even though it was just a little too late I’m feeling so muchhhh

/dsmp rp

😭😭😭😭😭

Searching for closure and an explanation!! Compare Daedalus to Tommy’s first prison visit to the genuine finale. Compare these people looking their abusers in the eye and trying to understand, why, why, and why can’t you just let it go.

Though tbh I don’t think it’s as simple as saying Dream is continuing the cycle of violence by killing Sam: it’s more complicated than that. Unlike Tommy with Dream, Dream understands Sam’s humanity. He understands it very well. The recognition he’s trying to get from Sam is of his *own* humanity.

He’s extending a shocking amount of mercy by letting Sam go, even though he’s unable to let go completely. To continue the cycle in truth would be to eliminate him, rather than what Dream does—which is to try to brush him off. Dream is not breaking the cycle at all, he’s trying to act as if there is no cycle, or at least that the cycle has no hold on him. He’s paying lip service to the idea of revenge but he’s also trying to behave as if he’s above such petty notions.

The true thing that Dream can’t let go of is not revenge, or violence, but rather the idea that he can fix things. Dream’s execution of Sam is not about vengeance, it’s about making things even again so that he can move on. This is a subtle but crucial distinction, because it all ties into Dream’s complex about his ability to hit the undo button. If Dream can kill Sam once and then walk away, then that means prison doesn’t matter; if Dream can resurrect anyone, then that means war and pain don’t matter. Except of course that those things do matter. They matter a lot.

Tommy is the other side of the coin: he is also obsessed with the idea of making things fixable. But his obsession is with revenge; his obsession is with the idea that one person is the crux of all his pain. This is a more straightforward cycle of violence. It’s only when Tommy realizes how utterly oversimplified his worldview is that he’s able to step back and let go, recognizing Dream’s humanity. And Dream needs to recognize his own humanity too: that he’s not an unfeeling monster, that his plans are motivated by pain and confusion and suffering, and that his worldview is far too convoluted.

Top has gotten the shortest end of the stick of all the characters. (Imo) He seems like a plot tool for Mew’s development, not a real person. I thought they would delve deeper into the insomnia but they have not. They brushed over him doing coke so quick as well. That’s literally the only interesting nuggets we have about him. We don’t know about his family life either. It’s hard to feel sympathy or connect with his character at this point when motivations are still so unclear. So Jojo shouldn’t be surprised that he’s so ‘hated’.

I wish he was hated because he's under-developed but I think him and Boston (who also has a lack of nuance issue in the narrative) are hated b/c they had non-monogamous sex. Which the crew (not just Jojo, I'ma call them JNBD for Jojo, Ninew, Best and Den lol) must've realized too b/c they specifically cut a scene where Top was gonna have sex w a rando and cry about it.

Know, that's unfair, I think both factors can be true at the same time. I think some people are struggling to connect with Top b/c like you said, he feels more like a plot device for Mew's character than his own individual character with their own motivations. AND I think it's because he had sex with other people who were not Mew. Because Forcebook is a branded couple and I saw those stans on twitter wildin out.

I think one factor is valid - him being under developed makes it hard to the audience to connect with him as a char - and the is not - who fucking cares if Top, the fictional char slept with someone not Mew they are not Force and Book jfc.

I think it says a lot about the state of the type of hate Top is getting that JNBD are seeing that the scene they cut was a sex scene specifically. Only now that it's gotten to the point of being outright undeniable are people even a bit more sympathetic to Boston. But like, I saw people calling Boston a predator and a rapist like, 3 episodes ago lol and rooting for Mew to share the revenge porn of Boston with his father.

Obviously this is not the entire~~~ fandom but suffice to say fandom hasn't been actually all that understanding of slutty (or really, non-monogamous behavior, y'all know being poly isn't like, an ao3 trope right? boston isn't "self-harming" himself by sleeping around he just...enjoys sleeping around? but the show has been kinda regressive in terms of poly/open relationships anyway they tease at threesomes but never follow through. At this point it feels like a meta joke, lol look at ray saying him and sand should have a threesome don't worry firstkhao fans we're just teasing they're true love fr!)

I think a big factor is fans have to strong a para-social relationship with Force and Book along with First and Khao (like holy shit y'all calm down about these two). So Top sleeping with Boston was seen as a "threat" to the endgame of their ship which should be TopMew but is actually ForceBook (don't even try with me SandRay had like 100 fics before the show even aired, and so did Top and Mew).

I spoke to a friend about this, they don't watch BL themselves but they said it sounded like part of the appeal specifically with branded couples is viewers know going in their ship "wins" they are endgame, there's a low-risk factor involved so it's easy to buy in. And I think they're right tbh I don't follow branded couples because, well frankly I don't care much, so I wasn't expecting this level of fandom bias nor the existence of the branded couples interring actively with the narrative itself. It was a very new experience for me and I think I'll just pass on gmmtv shows in the future.

I don't mind knowing where a story is going, I've watched plenty of romcoms, I'm not in this shit for plot twists, but if the journey really pushes the couple shouldn't be together and I know they'll end up together anyway well then I'm annoying lol

I think it's a shame that Top is gonna end up with Mew. I don't think they fit well together, the narrative hasn't shown me that they work or even could work long term. They have all the chemistry - to me - of white sauce casserole Carol brought to my cookout and only added some pepper for flavor. But narratively, what does Top even want? Why does he want to be with Mew? Because he opened up ONCE to Mew? We never even saw his perspective of their dating life just him giving up drugs in exchange for sex which chepie that was NOT romantic to me.

I'd love a fic that explored Top more as an individual char, why him and Mew don't actually work b/c Top's trying to contort himself into someone else because he's clinging to the sense of security Mew gave him. But what else is there to their relationship? Really? Maybe Top is actually aromantic or maybe he just enjoys being un-committed but feels pressured by society to do so, to "settle down".

There's potential there to explore that I hope fandom does but either way don't bring casserole to my cookout ever again gmmtv

helooo, im about to graduate highschool soon and i have been having this feeling in my chest for awhile now. im trying not to worry about the future and enjoy my time for these last two months of highschool. my senior year felt like a movie and as much as i absolutely hate school i already am gonna miss the feeling of being a kid in school for some reason. im not planning on going to college right afterwards and hearing my friends knowing what they wanna persue in after highschool and people peer pressuring me about college makes me a little overwhelmed. it’s other personal reasons why I don’t plan on going. i don’t wanna feel like i have to hurry up and rush to do things before i graduate…towards going to the end of highschool its definitely a bitter sweet feeling…

looking at your post i love how you word things and i just want some calm and good advice on life after highschool. im gonna miss a lot of my friends and i feel as if we’re not gonna be in contact anymore because they barley reach out to me after school. i don’t wanna be one of those people looking back at highschool and like mourning on it. im trying to move forward and have motivation to persue the unknown.

hey lov,

end of the school era can be a lot to take in. it's quite a scary place to be in and i just want to hug you and tell you that it's going to be alright ♡. you seem like the sweetest human ever, just a feeling i got after reading your ask.

and it's all the more tougher when you have decided to take gap year(s) or other alternative path than jumping straight for higher studies or an equivalent conventional way of life. seeing other people heading confidently to options other than your own can be intimidating.

i just want to state a universal truth here—nobody has it all figured out. and i think it's so brave to sit with this fear of uncertainty. it just means that you trust yourself, you trust that you'll figure a way out. i think chapters like these in life are a sweet spot for such lessons/mindset.

you are so young my love, failure can seem scary but i want you to pursue whatever you have planned after school. there might come situations where you see everyone around you making waves but you feel kind of just stuck there, and people may ridicule you. i hope you trust yourself at those times. i hope you choose to remember that everyone is on their own timeline and no two lives can be compared. and i hope you are always a little excited about what next, an element of spontaneity.

i am about to head to my final year in undergrad and i don't know what i am going to do next tbh. i wouldn't say i am somehow intentional with the coping of unknown. i am just going with the flow and building proofs to say that it's safe to trust myself.

don't try to force a connection with people—as much as it's easy to say, it's a lesson i am continually learning myself. about your friends, i know that it can be hard to distance away, especially when your friends will be busy once college starts. for some people solitude is comfortable and for some it's not. i urge you to seek comfort in your solitude, getting to understand the wonderful human in you while also going out and seeking out connections!

there's a lot of things going on with this post gosh. to summarize—trust yourself with all your heart. trust that you are going to figure it out my love. because for a fact i know that you will. i trust you ♡

hey hbj!! happy birthday, I hope your day is going to be just as lovely and special as you 💖

to be honest, I've been meaning to send u an ask for a while but I've been lacking the motivation to do so- I really don't feel the best during summer and I'm glad that it passed fairly quickly, and that we're one month closer to moonvale as well!

feels like the only thing motivating me to start my day sometimes was seeing a notification from you and wanting to check it out. when u went into hiding I def felt it, really seemed like something was missing from my routine. and here I thought I'd only ever say something like that about jake 🤭

but anyhow, I really hope you're doing well and I hope you can be happy not just today, but as much as possible every single day. I think it's super sweet how u always wish everyone well every weekend, and in general you're really funny and seem like such a nice person. I hope you can be as kind to yourself as u are to everybody here <3

can't wait to see u get excited over moonvale content when it comes out, and I can't wait to be feeling the same along with you! always take care of yourself and stay safe, take breaks when u need them, you're doing well :)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 🥹 Thank you soo incredibly much for this absolute lovely ask. You can't imagine how much your words mean to me.

First of all, no pressure in sending me asks but I'm still very happy about your words. And I'm sorry you're feeling so low during summer, I can understand that very well, sadly. But yes, fortunately, we almost made it. I'm so excited for autumn, hehe. So I hope you will feel much better soon, you deserve only the happiest times.

But I am very honored that you seem to enjoy my posts so, it really means everything to me. Unfortunately, if I may be honest, my time is quite difficult at the moment and I’m in a pretty tiring phase so it’s pretty hard to be here on Tumblr at the moment. Or to do anything in general. But if I'm here I realise every time how much I miss it and especially you all. So to hear that people notice my absence.. I am sorry about it, I would like to post more of course, but I must honestly say that it is also a very nice feeling to see that people want me here. And I thank everyone for that. And thank you so much for letting me know about it. It's really one of the most wonderful compliments someone can make me. 🥹

And I can only give it back to you. You deserve only the best in the world and I hope life will treat you very kindly. You're so kind and loving, that you came here to let me know about all this nice things shows how wonderful you are and I only try to be as kind as you all are. I'm very happy you like the weekend posts. They mean a lot to me, tbh. I just hope that this little gesture with a little reminder can help someone or at least cause a little smile. We all don’t know each other in real life but still you mean a lot to me so I try to show this.

And that you find me funny also means a lot to me, maybe too much. I am just very happy if someone finds what I write here funny or similar. 🥹

I'm very looking forward to talking about Moonvale with all of you. And I really miss the excitement we all share every time we get news. And when the game itself comes out.. It's going to be amazing. And I'm glad to share this moment with amazing people who feel the same way about it. Even if I fear I might freak out too much but well, by now most of you should be used to it. 😂

Again, a big, huge thank you for taking the time to write all this. I will never forget your words and you just made my day. Really. And I hope I answered everything, I'm very sorry if not. I just can’t say it enough, your message made me really happy. You are a wonderful person and it is a great honor for me to get such beautiful words from you.

You deserve all the best and I hope you will experience so many beautiful things. Please take always care of yourself and stay healthy and safe. You're loved and important! 💚

Thank you! 💚🥹

mars you are so cool, I love you, thank you for all your inspiring stories from your shifting experience! Tbh, you're my main source of hope to keep going in my shifting journey 🫶

I was wondering, what's your response to non-shifters that believe shifters are delusional, experiencing an extreme case of escapism, etc? I know I shouldn't be falling into doubt because of these close-minded beliefs, but I would really appreciate some kind motivational speech to remind me of how real all this is hehe 🫠.

thank you so much for being here :( it means a lot to me really 🤍

and I understand having doubt in it 1000% it’s a crazy ass concept that some people just can’t get their mind around and again I understand why

but also I think that people think of shifting as like this tiktok trend and “omg saiki kicked me out if my dr 🤪” doesn’t help it’s reputation at all

but it really does go so much deeper then that, shifting is spiritual like when shifting you don’t feel your third eye opening for nothing and I do think it should be respected as a spiritual practice because that’s literally what it is. also it’s a part of hinduism and yk disrespecting any religion/ practice makes you an ass hat

but I don’t necessarily care for people that think it’s not real, because at the end of the day it goes both ways for both parties because one will say “show me proof it’s real” and the other will say “show me proof it’s not” you can’t do either one of those things

it’s one of those things that you have to do it yourself to understand it, the people that think it’s not real or think that shifters are delusional simply just don’t understand and that’s okay you don’t have to understand it but diagnosing people with mental disorders on the internet is crazy 💀 shifting and astral projection are different but the way people treat the two is also very different because one is seen as just a spiritual practice and the other is seen as something that mentally ill people do

“it’s just daydreaming/ dreaming” you don’t have to learn how to dream, shifting is something people try do to for months or maybe even years in some cases and sometimes it doesn’t get anywhere because of self doubt or fear, that’s not what daydreaming or dreaming is people don’t freak out and say “ITS REAL” when they finally do shift just for the giggles

also I don’t think escapism can come to you by relaxing your body and doing meditations (which is sued in literally every method of shifting)

at the end of the day shifting is a spiritual practice that’s been around for years and not some tiktok trend that people will mental illness do, some people just don’t understand that and that’s okay. don’t let people take your beliefs away from you 🫂