#taking care of family
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Why do Grandparents feel like they need to pay you for taking care of them?
My nan has been unwell for a couple years, she has osteoporosis, and at the beginning of the year broke her back and hip in a fall.
(She needed a full hip replacement because of it and time in a rehab facility)
But since winter set in, she's in a lot of pain and finding it hard to move around unaided, she does have a frame but she doesn't like using it, so me and my Grandad help her to the bathroom and put her in bed, things like that.
In the last week I've only had a few hours of sleep, because of needing to help her during the day and night.
But after I woke up today, she gave me £70, when I asked why, she said she wanted to treat me for helping her.
I explained that I don't need paying to take care of her, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.
I'll probably just keep hold of it and give it back to her when they have no money 🤷🏻♀️
I know I prefer people to think I'm cold hearted, but I'd do anything and everything for my family.
Maybe I'm going soft in my old age 🤣🤣
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This Event Made Possible By Family
I knew I was getting to go to the Xfinity race yesterday. I had even told my son that I would be ready early so we could spend time on Speed Street before the race. My plans. When will I ever learn that my plans are not God’s plans?
I was up early even though a storm passing through the night before meant missing sleep. I was however surprised to see my son come across the backyard and walk into…
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#family#Jeep#life#lifestyle#news#protecting dogs in a storm#races#storms#taking care of family#travel#xfinity race
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white americans when you tell them that the idea of climate change as an impending disaster is a reductive first world perspective because it’s a tangible reality for many in the global south already:
#climate change#im TIRED#and i’m saying this as someone who also lives in the US.#im glad that none of you have to worry about your family and friends in other countries dying because of the heat#but this idea that “oh we have to stop it before we reach the extreme” is SO STUPID#because it’s already reached the extreme in some places!!#people are dying in south asia. people are dying in southeast asia. people are dying in africa. people are dying in central america.#people are dying in south america. people are dying in island nations.#what will it take you to care about these people#or will you not care until it’s people who look like you who are dying.
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If there's a photograph that captures this year... you're looking at it.
2023 began with the both of us on a flight down to southern California where her uncle died less that very morning, early early morning. We were on the ground maybe twelve hours after Kimmer got that early morning phone call.
The flights continued through every month of the year. Not for that reason. Not only for emergencies. There were also some epic vacations in there. It also wasn't the both of us.
Me, yes. I traveled more this year than others in recent memory. Kimmer was on a plane every month. For emergencies. For vacations. For family care. For a lot of reasons.
I should also mention that any time Kimmer was on the road, she took her work with her. She saw clients from the road. She attended doctoral classes, did all that work... from the road.
Anyway. Every month.
Most of that was tied up in her aunt. Making sure of her care because she was on her own after the death of her husband. Coordinating with, well, seemingly every admin in the area.
Every month.
We also celebrated our wedding anniversary at Universal Studios, Florida. We also joined her southern California family and friends for camping by a lake... and then by the Pacific Ocean.
And yeah. Sometimes I joined her when she flew down to visit family and take care of her aunt.
So that photo of us above?
We did that move a bunch in 2023.
None of this, however, is my point, believe it or not.
My point is that Kimmer's aunt injured herself, broke her hip, and Kimmer was on a flight down nearly the next day. What sets this trip apart from every other... is that we bought a one-way ticket for her.
A one-way ticket.
Why?
Because we didn't know.
We didn't.
Know.
Because of that, we couldn't make a plan. We couldn't even make our best guess. What we could do, however, was make a start.
So we sent Kimmer away with a one-way ticket and a commitment to figuring it all out on the fly.
On the fly?
Yeah. She would, we would, figure it out in real-time. We would improvise when necessary and, as events and decisions played out, we would strategize and re-strategize. We would trouble shoot. We would course correct.
On the fly.
In real-time.
Its what you do, it's what you can do, when you have very little by way of answers.
So that's how we rolled.
Five weeks, by the way.
The answer is five weeks.
We made the choice to coordinate our lives from different states for an unknown amount of time. We were on the phone every day. We talked about her aunt's circumstance every day. Getting better? Getting worse? Any idea how much time left?
Because yeah. Her aunt was dying. She was going to die.
We just didn't know when.
When, by the way, turned out to be a handful of days after Kimmer returned home.
Five weeks later.
Helluva thing, I've gotta tell you. We lived our lives in tandem, in different states. Coordinating our efforts across 1100 miles.
When you get married, they say things like "better or worse, richer or poorer, 'till death do you part".
What they don't tell you is that sometimes you won't have the answers. A lot of times you won't have the answers. So you'll have to sort of make life up as you go. You'll have to wing it. Testing your circumstance every day and making decisions according to what you find.
It all worked out, by the way. We did it. What strikes me, though, is the ease with which we did it. The ease with which we managed the circumstance in which we found ourselves with 1100 miles between us.
It's probably for the best they don't tell you the kind of things that could happen when you're standing at the altar in front of everyone.
The kinds of things that come up during the course of a marriage will blow your mind. As will the kinds of things you're tasked with handling.
We're aided and abetted by a lot of tech. I won't lie. That totally helps. But I guess mostly I'm proud of what we handled and how we handled it.
I didn't know we could successfully do that kind of thing.
😁😁😁
#flights#long-distance relationship#taking care of family#travel#injury#'til death do us part#pressure#challenge#long-distance coordinating#surprised#improvising#strategic#critical thinking#coordinating#team work
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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I think my favorite aspect of the Hades II announcement is the idea that, somewhere in the underworld, a very thunderstruck Zagreus is demanding, "What do you MEAN, I have a sister?!"
#hades#hades 2#hades ii#zagreus#melinoe#yep she's confirmed to be Melinoe#can't wait for those family conversations#my second favorite aspect of this announcement#is the fact that Zagreus' story was all Intimate Family Business#whereas Melinoe is out here to fuck up the Titans themselves#which I suppose is also Family Business#of a slightly higher order of magnitude in terms of Taking Care Of Shit
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"Melusines are beautiful creatures. They are the pride of Fontaine."💗
#i feel like melusines would be very caring and affectionate towards neuvillette ;_;#the whole plot of neuvillette taking them in and taking care of them is just everything to me#found family trope save me#fanart#genshin impact#genshin fanart#neuvillette#melusine
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So anyway, since Bruce abandoned his family, are they gonna let Damian go live with Dick in the Tower orrr is DC going to keep being dumb and not take advantage of such a golden opportunity...
#listen i know bruce and damian have a title rn but idc#bruce is like ''take care of the family dick''#okay you absentee father#all the other kids are adults now so they can do whatever. but damian is still a minor!! he's 14!!#Bruce Wayne#Dick Grayson#Damian Wayne
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happy older-woman-who-takes-care-of-the-family day!!!!!
#isat#in stars and time#siffrin#odile#isat odile#isat siffrin#isat fanart#paper craft#I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE OLDER-WOMAN-WHO-TAKES-CARE-OF-THE-FAMILY EVER#i think its fun to think everyone calls her various convoluted things to avoid calling her 'mom' or 'mother' and she likes it a lot
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while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best
#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#sklonda gukgak#dimension 20#this. mmmmhhh this is so. I did Not know how to draw this really.#I am very normal about riz (<- lying)#it's a brennan-dm d20 campaign the bad guy is always capitalism (I am saying this with clenched teeth)#riz out of all of them being aroace fucks with me SO bad. bc its also established that elmsville specifically and probably the#majority of solace is not. made for goblins. and that becomes sklonda being worked to the bone and pok dying on the job#and riz spending all his time trying to keep his friends together. maybe to the point of it being injurous#like. do u get what I mean. its an economy of time it takes your time it eats up your time#not just the gukgaks but everyone you have to spend time to get to live and you don't have a lot of time left in a day#and you have to spend it carefully. you have to prioritize#you're somewhere without an established community and companionship is bought with your time spent working#this place doesn't take care of you. at the end of the day who do you have who'd prioritize you. do you understand me#the evolved aroace loathing where if your friends and family are granted more time nobody would have to choose. we live in a society#holds ur hand we live in a society. idk if Im making any sense#anyway . uhhh riz is my favourite that's my statement thank you for listening. au revoir
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Prompt 124
Bruce crouched next to the small child that had been bounding around for the last few months healing people, watching idly as they scribbled on a paper with quiet chirps. Spirit, the rest of Gotham had named them, Spirit and their Sister.
“Hi Mr. Bat!” The child beamed from behind the mask when they finally looked up, burn scar stretching slightly.
He ignored the gibbering man in the corner, at least for now, seeing as he’d just arrived. “Is your sister around?” The other, well he wouldn’t call them vigilantes seeing as the kids (He’d be surprised if Sister was an adult) focused more on evacuation or healing, but it was the closest word.
“Nope!” the child put their crayons away in one of the many pockets inside the almost victorian-styled coat, one of the reasons they’d gotten their name. “Uncle Kerian is watchin’ me tonight, ‘cause Sister is busy.”
“Uncle?”
“Uncle!”
Bruce could be forgiven for the startled wheeze when the literal shadows twisted and ripped, a pair of Lazarus-green eyes- or whatever they were- gleaming from the darkness, dark hair twisting as sharp teeth similar to the siblings’ were bared in very open warning. As if the giant flaming sword wasn’t enough of a warning already.
Ah. That’s who had traumatized the several would-be kidnappers then.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#Why are Jazz and Danny in Gotham? Who knows#Pariah and Fright Knight are brothers (Fright = Family after all)#Pariah and Clockwork are exes but they never officially divorced making CW the ghost queen#And he’s adopted both Jazz and Danny making them the ghost prince and princess#But they’re still half/3 quarters human and have human needs to take care of#Bruce staring at FK: Ah… I seem to have a type it seems#Why yes Fright does in fact have a human form#Am I saying halfa Fright and Pariah?#I'm not Not saying that#But there had to be a reason the Observants want Danny-the-Halfa dead so much
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If there was no rebellion, and Katniss succeeded in her plans for the quarter quell, Peeta would have been the victor.
Which means, she would have died, and her mother and Prim would have lost privilege, the money and the house.
Why would Katniss risk Prim's safety (and her mother as well), something that was always her driving force, to save Peeta's life?
Because she knew he would have taken care of them.
Book 1 we see Katniss asking Gale to take care of her family.
Book 2 we see Katniss assuming Peeta would take care of them, without even asking.
#at the end of mockingjay when Gale says#the only thing I had going for me was taking care of your family#oh honey you lost that#way before Prim died#the hunger games#THG#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark
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Taking Care of Parents
My son really upset me last night. I was in the middle of telling him about something that happened earlier in the day when he looked down at his phone and popped up with the sound of the teacher’s blah blah voice in the Charlie Brown animations. That immediately ended our conversation. He thought it was funny, a cute way to end a conversation in which he had no interest. He has done this before…
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Hey! I see that you're a Spy Family Fan and i wanted to ask what you think would happen,
If Yor asked Loid the age old question "Would you still love me if I was a worm? "
Hi, thank you for your patience 🤗
Your ask caught the musebunny's attention so it insisted on making me draw pages of comic for this. Well, because I think depending on when Yor asked this question, the answer she got could be very different. I hope these are worth the wait. Please enjoy.
and for comparison and contrast, I also let Fiona ask her senpai this question too 🤔
#spy x family#sxf fanart#my art#twiyor#loid forger#loid x yor#yor forger#sxf twilight#reply to mailbox#this is a shitpost#also a fluke#kind of#don't take it seriously#not every asks will get this treatment though#I'll die for sure 😅#I seriously googled about worms and how to take care of them for this joke 🤡
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Right around the top of September, Facebook likes to remind me about once upon a time, a long long time ago, when Linzy was starting school.
And there are plenty of 1st Day of School memories.
Interestingly, this year Linzy 'n I kicked off the month at The Willows were she had a gig and I had truffle fries and we ran into an old friend from summer camps, Chris. :-)
As with a lot of our months this year, while Linzy 'n I kick it off at one of her gigs, Kimmer's with family on her regular monthly southern California visit to care for her aunt and hang out with her cousin who's legitimately the most brother of a brother she has.
September was also about coming to grips with the fact that we've been back for three months now after living on Capitol Hill for four years. September was the month we actually started walking out our front door to embark on neighborhood walks. Since we've been away for a while, we want to see how this place has changed. We also want to simply remember places and people we know. We still enjoy talking to neighbors from other neighborhoods and paying specific attention to this pinpoint of earth on which we live as well as the places nearby.
It's definitely one way to make the world smaller.
There's another one we'll get to, of course, in a moment.
One of the things about Fall I pointed out before is that it's a series of major holidays.
How do I know they're major?
Well, because there's a Vince Guaraldi soundtrack for all three: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Each of which, of course, has its own Charlie Brown special devoted to it.
September, though, is an unofficial fourth holiday month.
Wait. What's the holiday?
Glad you asked. Because the holiday is our wedding anniversary, this year celebrating the 31st one. A helluvan accomplishment for a coupla high energy kids growing up in proximity like particles in a particle accelerator speeding in opposite directions along the same circular path.
Something like that.
Basically, our paths crossed, kept crossing, and the subsequent colliding of particles, the subsequent smashing of atoms, the subsequent relationship that resulted, held fast.
Like I said, it's a helluva thing.
This year, Kimmer was thinking about our anniversary, our 31st wedding anniversary, and she started thinking about a 7-day Universal Studios vacation celebration during the week of our anniversary. So she asked what I thought and I said Yes! before the question was fully out of her mouth.
It was a thoroughly epic, massively relaxing vacation. Maybe the best peace/adrenalin balance we ever achieved on a theme park vacation. In a nutshell, it's achieved by doing fewer rides each day and making sure that, of those fewer rides, they're the top of your list. Which preserves those experiences and allows plenty of time for strolling, taking time, relaxing, peace, and one more thing:
Surprises.
Like this one that seemed to form out of thin air:
youtube
It's a hellava story I captured in my September 20 post if you'd like to hear the whole thing. And trust me.
You do.
😘
youtube
Each of our days of vacation were incredibly long in the best way possible. It was more than 24 hours packed into each 24-hour day that somehow left plenty of room for adrenalin experiences and relaxing experiences without feeling rushed. Without feeling exhausted. Without needing a vacation...
For our vacation.
There's a ton to appreciate and definitely I wrote it all down. In a nutshell though, I'd point out "Thunderstruck" at Margaritaville, the massive lightning shows that were on display most nights and, of course, Harry Potter.
Fun and relaxation in the water was also a big deal along with a singular massively epic fail on a water ride during which we thought we might dodge a thorough dunking.
But we did not.
We got soaked.
The dunking was so thorough and unexpected, we literally had to step into a people dryer afterward.
It was an incredible vacation across everything we wanted to experience (and even those few things not on our bucket list that happened anyway).
And yes.
It felt like more than a week of vacation.
The best.
😁
Interestingly, Linzy 'n I finished the month the way we began it: at one of her gigs. Afterward, we had the lovely opportunity to order a cup of creamy ice cream and stroll around the neighborhood at night whilst we partook of unique creamy flavors and enjoyed each other's company.
Of course it always comes to pass that while we're at one of these gigs at the top or bottom of the month, Kimmer's inevitably in southern California with family.
This time around, though... there's a plot twist.
This photograph and the two below were taken at the top of April of this year. Kimmer's aunt Jacquie wasn't super articulate but we could still see her personality. Feel it. This is, in fact, my favorite memory of Jacquie, a combination of this version of her in this place. This is a courtyard under the shade of trees. It's comfortable, a kind of oasis even in summer when the outside world heads into the 90s and broaches the 100s.
When I think of Jacquie, I think of her here.
But then.
But then at the beginning of last week, Sunday maybe, Jacquie fell and hurt herself. By Tuesday that injury declared itself to be a broken hip, making surgery inevitable and soon. This wasn't exactly like her husband in the first days of this year when we were down in southern California within twelve hours of getting the news of his death. This...
Was a process.
So Kimmer had a couple days to figure out the best path forward before getting on a plane last Thursday without a return ticket.
Without a return ticket?
Yeah. Too many question marks in the air. She'd just have to wing it. She'd have to advocate for her aunt to the medical/surgical team as her aunt's circumstance evolved. She'd have to continue her doctoral studies on the fly. She'd have to see clients online from her cousin's place or a hotel.
Basically, she was taking The Kimmer Show on the road, in a way... indefinitely.
Fortunately, Jacquie seemed to recover from her surgery with more cognition onboard, not less. There's more of her present. More personality. More lucidity. She's able to articulate more.
She's got some of her Muchness back.
Not all of it. But it's breathtaking to witness when you're convinced it's all gone.
More incredibly, on the first day after Jacquie's surgery, she was in her room, Kimmer was out in the hall, Jacquie needed something from Kimmer and so called Kimmer's name.
That, by the way, was information we all knew to be gone. Just as our names are gone. Oh sure, Jacquie may know that she knows us without knowing names or relationships or history... you can see that understanding in her eyes. But we all know the specifics of who we are to Jacquie are irretrievably gone.
Except...
She shouted Kimmer's name.
Somehow... that information was available again. It hadn't been erased.
It hadn't been erased. It had spent all this time hiding from Jacquie's conscious awareness.
Damn.
Still...
Our conversations across this last week aren't my favorite. We all know we're somewhere near the end without being able to see it. So yes. We have talked about memorial services. We have talked about eulogies. We've talked about the end without knowing where it is.
The reason for that is twofold:
Jacquie's recovering into a version of herself with more cognition.
And she's in the right place.
You see the other significant task for Kimmer down here was finding the right hospice care for Jacquie. And she did.
She found it.
She found a place closer to her cousin's home. And she found the right people to walk this last mile with her aunt.
To walk this last mile.
With her aunt.
Because of that, because these are the right people, the ambiguity, the uncertainty, the not knowing... is okay. Is more than okay. No matter how long or short this last mile turns out to be.
Are we thankful for that?
Oh dear God in heaven.
Yes.
😊
So that's it for September.
Nine down.
Three to go in 2023.
Onward!
#fall#summer#september#universal studios#islands of adventure#harry potter#wedding#marriage#celebration#love#laughter#fun#adventure#discovery#wedding anniversary#travel#family#health#mental health#taking care of family#hospice#home life#city life#walking
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Alright, since it’s no longer 2 in the morning and my head’s a bit clearer, I present to you:
Liminal Riddler
So, not everyone in the DC fandom knows about this, and I’d bet that even less people in the Phandom do, but at one point, the Riddler had cancer. Had, past-tense, because he cured it. With the Lazarus pits.
And yeah, not everyone who gets dipped in the pits has to be liminal, but one would assume that the sudden replacement of a large number of malignant cells throughout the body is gonna do something.
The Riddler already acts quite a lot like a DP ghost in some interpretations anyways. He’s got a strict gimmick that he genuinely can’t part ways with, he’s campy and fun, he’s incredibly violent, etc.
Also, the way that he would react to this whole thing would be funny as hell.
Do I think the Riddler would really care if the GiW was after him? No. This is Gotham, the government is constantly going after him anyways.
Do I think he would care if Danny was being hunted down by the same people, and his parents were involved? Somewhat. He probably wouldn’t care about Danny specifically, at least not right away, but a young boy running terrified from his own parents would definitely bring back some bad memories, and he would probably give him a hand (if for no other reason than to get back to plotting crimes instead of dealing with childhood trauma).
Do I think the Riddler, whose entire thing is being smarter than everyone else, would care if the GiW somehow let slip that they thought he didn’t have human intelligence? That they believed him to be nothing but an echo of human life?
It’s not even a question. He would be the most insufferable person in Gotham within the hour. Genuinely nothing could stop him, especially not if Danny was helping jailbreak him from Arkham every time he got caught.
Almost every major road is closed. Every warehouse on the Docks is on fire. Somehow, they managed to color the clouds and smog a bright green.
The natives of Gotham would probably get those anti-ghost laws and acts overturned faster than the Justice League, if only to make the Riddler stop. His traps and games aren’t even lethal at this point (due to Danny’s insistence), but they’re so genuinely annoying that the general population is about to beat the GiW agents to death themselves just to get the Riddler to quit it already.
Also, I think that during this whirl of chaos, the Riddler would become quite fond of Danny.
He’s a bright young boy who’s very fond of wordplay, and inventive enough to keep up with him. Aside from the inevitable crisis of “oh god I’m becoming the bat,” he’d probably be happy to take on Danny as his protégé. Even if the boy won’t let him kill anyone (rude), he’s a terrifying getaway driver and can turn the both of them invisible and intangible, making Arkham escapes a breeze.
Hell, the Riddler would probably be willing to make a false identity for the two of them, just so he could get the boy proper schooling.
(Yes, he thinks that the entire education system is a sham and that he could do much better, but Danny wants to go into aerospace engineering, and the Riddler isn’t one to squander someone’s interest in learning.)
(Also, Echo and Query would find the whole thing hilarious)
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc prompt#dc x dp prompt#liminal riddler#most annoying mf alive meets entire government agency who decides to insult him within 5 minutes of meeting him#he would rip the GiW to shreds in a week tops#also he didn’t even ask to use the Lazarus pits. very important detail#he found out he was dying and immediately broke into the LOA to dunk himself into the glowing Mountain Dew#the gamer ghost bath water if you will#sometimes a family is a pedantic asshole and his two lesbian henchmen taking care of a half-dead teenager who’s a fan of puns
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