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thatdeadaquarius · 10 months

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Genshin Impact Sagau/Isekai:

You still have acces to characters! ...by possessing them. 👻

PART 2 (you're here!) / Part 1

All art by me! :] leave me a iced coffee?? :0

HEY!! REALLY QUICK PLEASE READ!

STOP tagging my posts as "Yandere Sagau", "Sagau Cult AU", "Sagau Imposter AU" or other related dark content tags.

I'm sick of seeing reblogs that tag my work as dark content, when I'm specifically trying to LIGHTEN UP THE SAGAU TAG 😭😭??

Please be more respectful of this. Actually read the work before you just tag it incorrectly. Tags do matter.

/nm /gen

☆

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them)

Planet: Misc. Genshin AUs

Orbit: Headcanons, Scenarios

Stars: Tighnari ft. Cyno, Alhaitham, Collei

Comets & Meteors:

Content Warnings: Mild violence (bandit attacks/non-graphic), Reader/you possess people non-consent (mild/consent given eventually)

& Trigger Warnings: Reader/"you" possess people non-consenually for short times, but given consent eventually.

(pls comment if any more!)

Edit 9/7/23: 1,000+ NOTES?? WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY- THANK YOU???

Edit 12/24/23 + 4/5/24:

☆

My goofy ass forgot to put this here .-.

Anyway this is a full length fanfic now ;)

…mistakes were made.

bad decisions were had, and okay, mayyybbbeee you could’ve taken more precautions against people finding out you were “real”.

afterall, you did see the Eremites reaction, even if it was only two guys (one from each camp) that you possessed :/

word spreads quickly amongst the Eremites groups, you guess, bc next thing you knew, after you’d moved closer to floating around Gandharva Ville,

they’d called that entire bit of forest haunted.

BUT IN YOUR DEFENSE-!! how were you supposed to know they’d blab to the whole camp they didn’t remember the past 20 minutes after you unpossessed them?? and immediately be on guard and jump to possession?? (Irminsul works hard but eremites/sumeru people work harder u guess)

And by the time you were happily patrolling with Collei, the forest rangers were just so chill you didn’t really expect anybody would think a ghost was possessing them (or whatever you were now… maybe,, just code?? it’s unclear)

so when u start to see Tighnari squint at people who’ve technically just “woken up” after you possessed them, mumbling under his breath more and more as a file he carries around gets thicker and thicker-

you start to think,,, maybe.

okay, mayyybbbeee,

you’ve fucked up.

◇

You really can’t help it, first it was making sure Collei got back safely from patrols (she’s ur skrunkly okay, you can’t help it, you’re still aware she’s capable but- the urge to skrunkle overpowers you- )

but then-!! You managed to spot Cyno! :D its ur boy!! ur little meow meow, who can throw people over his shoulder!! He really doesn’t need you, hovering around, but eh ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

what could it hurt! …it’s not like he can see, hear, or feel you anyway…

(unless u possess some animal/machine he thinks is friendly, which. sumeru is not exactly known for cuddly creatures. you don’t feel like experiencing death when possessing stuff just yet-)

imagine ur panic and shock as the General Mahamatra takes on a camp of criminals on the run, only for one of the old ruin machines (the ones that are just LEG and DEATH)

to hear the ruckus and come stomping around a thick patch of trees, it launched missiles!! You can’t warn Cyno, he can’t hear you!! No one can!!! The criminals are unconscious, there’s no other wildlife nearby they all ran off!!! FUCK-

You look at him and try to imagine his perspective as vividly as you can, he’s looking over the criminals, but now he’s turning, so people passed out and the tree-line got it-

Congratulations! You’ve possessed Cyno. 💀

It completely disorients you for a second, but then the panic of dodging the missiles comes back in time for you to make his body dive and roll off to the side, for as long as you can manage a roll too since you remember that’s the best way to dodge missiles in the game

…which works really well! bc he’s so fit and agile tbh

It was weird to finally run again after so long (two months now in teyvat?? wow)

with your feet suddenly in sandals, and feeling the breeze chilling your bare chest (Cyno’s chest??)

yeah its a shock considering most of the ppl you’ve possessed lately have been fully clothed rangers lol

you quickly imagine your ghostly form again, and just like that you’re drifting out of Cyno in ur “ghosty” form, having floated out and away from his back

Poor guy looks so fucking confused, and immediately is wielding his spear again, and is about to get out the crouch you put him in behind the dilapidated stone wall (dammit he better not waste ur efforts to keep him alive-)

until missiles slam and explode against it, he ducks back down (thank fuck) and Cyno just looks around one last time before hopping the wall and running to fight the thing

you notice that when the electro user goes to use his powers, they seem stronger than they were in his fight with the goons??

Maybe he was just going easier on them, since they are only human?

…so why does even Cyno look surprised when he goes to make a simple swipe with his charged spear and a bolt of lightning cracks out from his spear instead…?

…weird.

◇

Tighnari knows you’re here.

You figure he must have collected the reports of people “blacking out” or “sleep-walking” or whatever else and begun to suspect the worst.

…to be honest, you’re not sure what to do.

on one hand, it would be great to have someone know you actually exist, as yourself,

but on the other…

What would Tighnari think?

Of you possessing his rangers?? Temporarily taking ownership of someone without permission??? You’re afraid he’d think the worst of you…

tho u didn’t do so often, as u realized how messed up this could be, and u never did more than make them walk or talk normally for a few minutes before leaving them alone!

… afterall, you missed interacting with people. You were honestly a little worried abt going crazy, which is the only reason u were desperate enough to possess human people in the first place and continue doing so, just to talk to someone and have them look you in the face again like you really did exist as a person here-

(u thought u remember reading somewhere back on Earth that someone can only last 3 days of no other human contact until they start to lose it? but even if that’s not true, at the very least, u dont think talking one-sidedly to yourself all the time is healthy…)

so when Tighnari seems to get that file you’ve seen him adding onto, and gather up supplies, mentioning a day trip to Collei and the others to Sumeru City for some

“further research into these ‘blackouts’, and also contacting some of my colleagues who might know something…”

there’s no way you’re not going with him.

you feel increasingly anxious all day, and at one point when you were sure Tighnari was walled-in by books at the House of Daena, decide to go blow off the anxious energy by possessing an animal to get some food!

…you’re not really feeling comfortable enough to possess a living being into eating yet, that seems hella nonconsensual, and u kinda would be taking the joy of the meal from them tbh-

so u possess a cat!

a ginger cat, bc u like to think if u do anything weird, that ppl in Teyvat have the same type of cats back on Earth and excuse it as just:

“unhinged ginger cats being unhinged ginger cats yep makes sense” lol

you’d managed to be really cute (and wasn’t that weird, having to mimic animal behaviors like rubbing ur side against a person’s legs..)

and convince one of the cooks of Lambad’s Tavern to give u some leftovers, and been about to go off to try out sunbathing before the chore boy, little shit he is, tried to chase you off with a broom!! >:( the audacity!! you clearly have a little plate and everything!!

luckily, you’d finished eating, but still! Ouch!! those bristles fucking hurt-!!!

…you look and see a Sumeru-ified version of a skateboard, and u just know ur little cat face is just ✨v✨

and u steal the little shit’s skateboard as revenge! HAHA thats what you get animal abuser!!!

The kid’s yelling at you as you speedily skate away with ur little cat paws (LMAOO), but the cooks are calling him back in so he can’t pursue, (oh good u hear them get onto him for chasing u off)

and as u slow down to coast along the Sumeru streets,

you feel someone’s eyes staring you down.

You assume it’s just people being amused at a cat skateboarding, obv

but when you look just ahead of you to see a smiling Sumeru citizen or eremite-

Oh. It’s Alhaitham.

and he’s just… watching you.

he’s stopped reading whatever he’s got in his hand, and is slowlyyyy turning his head as you pass by…

You decide to just keep skating away. LMAO

◇

it’s already sunset by the you’re accompanying Tighnari back from Sumeru City, floating along behind him

and you’d been expecting a calm walk back, tbh you’d been feeling a little better bc the ranger hadn’t found much to identify you, yet, luckily-

but bc u can never catch a break:

Tighnari didn’t see the bandits dropping from the goddamn trees BEHIND HIM- and they had like claymores out- those were definitely gonna be killing blows-!!

so yeah.

You possessed Tighnari.

turns out ur pretty good at dodging bc this is second time now you’ve helped dive away for someone in an ambush, ur kinda proud of urself tbh💀

and as you make him take a few leaps back, ur ears twitch in the wind as you duck behind a tree, then float away and out of his body

The poor hybrid ranger visibly sways, then shakes his head out of it, and he flicks his ears in different directions, squinting into the woods, he’s pulled out his bow, so you’re at least reassured he’s aware there are enemies

Like Cyno last week, he too gives up and rolls for the next tree for cover and begins to shoot and take down the bandits

the rest of the week is kinda a blur after that, bc it’s mostly filled with Tighnari running in circles around the camp checking for blackouts, writing letters to Alhaitham and Cyno apparently, and you not possessing anybody out of paranoia :/

Most notably however,

you’ve unfortunately discovered one of the few drawbacks of ur possessions

(y’know, besides not existing essentially, what with no one being able to sense u outside of possessions)

apparently, if someone walks thru you, they accidentally force you to possess them 💀??

while it’d already happened once with a random ranger that you didnt notice was walking up behind you,

you didn’t want to test it again just yet bc it kinda made YOU nauseous and incredibly dizzy when this happened

(as in, u stumbled like a drunk after this poor ranger woman ran thru u, until you were so dizzy and the world spun sm u had to make her sit on the literal ground, luckily she just thought she was just really dehydrated when she came back into herself 😭)

so obviously, you’ve avoided crowds to keep this forced possession thingy from happening all the time

like at the Forest Rangers meetings or something, ur watching off to the side, instead of standing with them or beside them

so needless to say, after about a week and half since possessing Tighnari,

you definitely did not mean to possess Collei.

She’d been in her wheelchair today, the Eleazar flaring up and tiring her body out

so her wheels had been entirely silent when she rolled up to where you and Tighnari were leaning over some strange experiments of his- you were just trying to figure out what all these mirrors were for, didn’t he do plants more-?

you didn’t even know what the hell happened, you just felt that familiar dropping sensation, like a small drop on a rollarcoaster, blinked, and then suddenly you were sitting instead of standing/floating???

Oh god-

before you could even begin to process that Tighnari was in front of you instead of beside you, the world was shorter,

The fox-eared ranger yelled in triumph, grinning with sharp fangs and spinning around to look at you (Collei)-

“Ah-ha! It worked! Finally, I saw you! I saw you, I-?? Oh gods, Collei, NO-!”

And with quick reflexes, Tighnari’s summoned his bow, but he’s clearly confused on what to do about this situation, taking aim, but also holding the air glowing with dendro not as taunt as you’d seen him in the battle with the bandits

You scramble to raise your hands up, brown poofy sleeves rise to your command, light green hair you can feel on your shoulders, everything is familiar, but not-

“WAIT! I’m sorry!! This was an accident, I promise! I don’t intend to hurt Collei, or you!! Please, just, don’t shoot me, I think you’ll just hurt Collei instead…”

You talk him down and decide, that if he’s put this much effort into finding out about your existence, is an incredible leader and friend to everyone around him, and was able to accept the traveler and many other strange things that’ve (probably? maybe?) already happened in Sumeru (god fuck u dont even know where in the timeline you are)

that you can probably trust Tighnari with your existence, and your powers.

…He nearly passes out.

◇

Life has gotten a lot funnier, and happier, since you told Tighnari (and some of the more trustworthy rangers and Collei by proxy) about ur existence (or really, confirmed it)

He’d been wary at first, appropiately cautious and demanding answers, of which you were happy to give and explain yourself

luckily, after a whole lot of “hmm, I see, no, I think I’m understanding-” , finger on his chin and everything

he’s said it’s okay to hang around the rangers, so long as you don’t possess anyone anymore without them knowing about you/with permission (outside of emergency situations that is)

tho he did seem surprisingly understanding and accepting of you doing it before after you explained how u were just unbelievably lonely and were lowkey paranoid of going crazy-

The rangers seem to believe you’re some kind of god/spirit thing, as you had no explanation yourself as to what you were ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

Tighnari’s also given you the rule to help out around here if you’re going to “ghost-laze around”, as he puts it lol

you’ve redirected ruin machines/feral animals away from rangers many times by now, to the many thanks and gratefulness of the rangers

you’ve even managed to even figure out how to push Collei’s wheelchair around when she uses it!

mostly by possessing tree after tree and using vines, or occasionally a fungi that can fly so you can nudge her along

she has insisted that you possess a ruin guard and carry her just to try it… however, Tighnari overheard her talking to the forest rangers’ dog (you) and immediately knew shit was up and banned you from doing it (at least not yet)

While most rangers are okay with you possessing them for a few minutes (and they’ve developed this bandana wrapped around their upper arms policy of “red = no possess, green = go ahead”)

Collei is the most okay with it and for longer, so you “won’t be that lonely ever again!” :’)

Tighnari is busy with stuff, so you can’t possess him as often, but the ranger has developed a theory that the more you possess someone, the more they can sense your feelings during possession/while floating around in ghost form too,

so he’ll occasionally feel you in the room with him, and start talking out loud in some one-sided convo to make you feel more included to make up for not being able to interact with him sometimes :)

(after taking you off his list of worries he’s still pretty swamped, not that he’ll tell you that, as he’s still not quite sure why he’s so, warm and safe feeling when you’re around, so willing to trust you so naturally, that it makes him want to at leats pretend to be worried abt a possessing ghost god/thing hanging out with the rangers now)

◇

basically everything is great!

the rangers are okay with you, they got a system to interact with you consensually, Tighnari and Collei are fond of you, you get to finally have something to do instead of floating around all the time (joining ranger missions)

and look!! they’ve even been kind enough to build you a little shrine or altar of sorts! Notes about Sumeru life, recipes for you to try, occasionally some books for you to read, and even some snacks/desserts for you to try out the next time someone possesses you and gives consent! (you leave them a little note stuck on their hand with your question for specific actions like that, if there isn’t another ranger there to ask for you when you unpossess them)

and everything is so cool, and everyone is so sweet and accepting

…Until Alhaitham shows up in Gandharva Ville, knocking on Tighnari’s door.

☆

AHHHH idk if this is any good! sorry it took so long, it was mostly the art 😭😭

anyway its not the best (the writing or the art) but i hope it’s at least some content to look at and be entertained for a minute!

also figured it was a good day to post what with the attack on our beloved Ao3 (tho i think it’s back up now?)

anyway, feel free to leave critiques on this one! (which I’ll probably turn this into a real fic one day soon, but not sure what to do with the plot/do a diff setup than this or what)

☆

sorry abt the radio silence! I just needed to close my mailbox bc i had a lot of stuff to answer, ur welcome to send submissions to chat/non-requests!

and also this took time to make (once again, mostly the art, bc thats how it always is with art isnt it 😭)

☆

Safe Travels Stranger,

💀♒

☆

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @justlostintheinternet / @assassinsnake101 /@sun-wokung

If ur tag is here and didnt work, idk why!

Maybe see if your listed as a "searchable blog"?

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imaginespazzi · 10 days

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Part 5: One Perfect Day

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Let me photograph you in this light (in case it is the last time that we might be exactly like we were)

(In which a procrastinating writer procrastinates giving her ship happiness)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Some Fluff

Words: 7.5K

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Good evening my lovelies <3. As many of you have reminded me it is indeed Friday and so here we are, nobody needs to yell at me! I know I'm years too late with this but I hope y'all like it anyways, even though this is very much mainly hurt with very little comfort. But for things to get better, they have to get worse and remember, it's all for the plot! There's plenty of creative liberty taken this chapter with how hotels and post-championship celebrations work and other logistics but I wrote it how I needed to so just go with it. Did I edit? Yes. Are there typos and errors anyway? Probably. As always, tell me what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see next. Have a wonderful weekend lovelies!!

March 2019

The final buzzer echoes through the Williams Arena, and the disappointment of the last couple of years is finally drowned out as the Hopkins Royals win the state championship. Surrounded by the cheers of her teammates, Paige doesn’t know if she’d call this the happiest moment of her life, the stomach flu symptoms haven’t quite faded yet, but she knows it’s definitely on her mount rushmore of times when life was great.

For a second, as she’d been crouched over the toilet with Azzi’s hands soothingly rubbing her back, feeling her soul leave with the remnants of last night's dinner, Paige had almost lost hope. But she’d never been taught to give up without a fight. And so it hadn’t mattered that she definitely looked a little green or that standing up was taking twice the energy it normally did, Paige was going to play today. It hadn’t been a flashy scoring night but she’d done everything else her team needed. And as that lead had built and built and built, Paige knew, the moment was still hers.

“Paigeyyyyy,” Drew is the first one to find her after her and her teammates break apart, launching his tiny body into her legs, “you won!”

Paige laughs, lifting her brother into her arms and spinning him around, “I told you I was gonna didn’t I?”

One by one, her whole family, the epitome of a modern family, pull her into hugs and then they gather into one large group hug, with Paige at the centre of it all. Her siblings look at her with pure admiration while her parent’s eyes are filled with pride. And it fulfils that part of Paige that has always lived a little more for her family than for herself.

As her family moves away slowly, Paige finds herself face to face with Azzi’s shining smile and her heart skips a beat. And she doesn’t really know when it started or even how really, but it gets a little more difficult every time she sees Azzi, for Paige to convince herself that that fluttering in her chest is nothing.

“You look a little pale white girl,” Azzi teases, taking a couple of steps towards the blonde, “glad you didn’t vomit all over the floor.”

“Nah no bullshit flu is stopping Paige Bueckers. The flu is scared of me,” Paige juts out her chest with a smirk, earning her a patented eye roll from the younger girl.

“Oh yeah, you’re real scary,” Azzi indulges before pulling Paige into a bone-crushing hug, “I’m proud of you P.”

Paige smiles into the crook of Azzi’s neck, basking in the glow of the compliment. It’s these little moments they have in between their constant banter, where they let themselves be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, that makes them Paige and Azzi. They pull away, still grinning. and Paige’s eyes roam over the Team Paige jersey framing Azzi’s body. It makes her feel some type of way to see the younger girl wearing her name across her chest, but it’s not a feeling Paige is quite ready to accept. Perhaps it’s been written in their destiny that someday things will change, that eventually they’ll both have to confront the something more that’s simmering underneath it all, but for now, Paige just wants to protect what they already have.

“That’s a pretty jersey,” she says with a wink, fingers rushing over the soft material.

“I was forced at gunpoint to wear it,” Azzi sighs dramatically, “I was actually cheering for Stillwater. Their pg’s kinda cute.”

Paige bristles at the comment, the queasiness from this morning returning with vengeance, “she’s mid as hell on and off the court.”

“Don’t be petty Paige. You think she’d let me wear her jersey instead?”

“You know what,” Paige fights a losing battle with the quick surge of anger that’s taking birth in her stomach, “how about you take off my winner’s jersey and go to the loser’s locker room and beg for her jersey instead.”

She knows Azzi’s joking, knows the point guard on the other team isn’t even really Azzi’s type, knows that even if Azzi’s being serious, Paige doesn’t have a right to feel this way. But that green eyed monster is clawing at her heart, squeezing it and making it hard to breathe.

“Oh- hey hey hey,” Azzi’s quick to grab at her when Paige tries to storm off, “chill dude. You know I’m just kidding.”

“Well it wasn’t funny,” Paige pouts, aware that she’s being unnecessarily childish.

Azzi opens her mouth, about to make some smartass quip but there must be something about how genuinely frustrated Paige looks that softens her expression, “I came to watch you P. I have no idea what that other girl was doing. I was cheering for you the whole time.”

“You’re so sappy,” Paige snorts, throwing a handful of confetti at Azzi, but inside, the ice cold jealousy melts into something warm and lovely, spreading through her heart into her veins.

“Can’t even say nice shit without you being a dick about it,” Azzi rolls her eyes, as she links her arms through Paige’s, “now come on, let’s go celebrate you.”

***

It’s almost 2 a.m. when Paige’s teammates finally begin to filter out of her house, leaving with droopy eyes and tired smiles. She and Azzi stand in the doorway, waving goodbye to every last one of them and it feels a little domestic, like a couple after a dinner party. Paige shakes that thought away the minute it begins to form, forcing herself to ignore the burst of wouldn’t that be lovely that blooms in her chest.

“What if I just fell asleep here?” Paige sags against the doorframe.

“You’d probably fall flat on your face and I’d get an epic video of it.”

“You’re so fucking mean to me.”

“Oh yeah right because you’re so nice to me.”

“Am to,” Paige retorts, before she makes grabby hands towards Azzi, “carry me?”

Azzi swats her hands away, “Absolutely not lazy, it’s one flight of stairs.”

“That’s like 20 steps,” Paige whines. To be honest, she’s not that tired. Out of the two of them, she’s probably closer to being a night owl. But Paige is nothing if not a little bit of nuisance, especially when it comes to Azzi.

“Are you an athlete or not,” Azzi chides, rolling her eyes.

“Bro I just won a championship AND I had the flu. And you won’t even carry me? What kind of best friend are you?”

“Paige.”

“Azziiiiii.”

“Paige I’m tired.”

“Pleeeeeaseeee.”

The younger girl sighs, a sign of her caving in, before turning around so her back is facing Paige's front, “fine, get on you big baby.”

“YES-”

“Dude shut up, you’re gonna wake everybody up,” Azzi groans, always the responsible one.

“Sorry, sorry,” Paige whispers as she jumps onto Azzi’s back, the force of it causing the brunette to take a couple steps forward, “fucking hell Azzi don’t drop me.”

Azzi lets out an indignant squawk, as she regains her balance, “with that attitude, I should drop you.”

“If you’re too weak to carry me, just say that,” Paige teases, wrapping her legs firmly around Azzi’s torso. She buries her shit-eating grin in her best friend’s neck, as she loops her arms around Azzi’s shoulders.

“It is not my fault you’ve put on like a hundred pounds since I last saw you.”

Azzi squeals when Paige pinches at her ribcage and the blonde immediately slaps a hand on her best friend’s mouth, “what happened to being quiet? Now, onwards horsey- OW! Did you just fucking bite my hand!?”

“What happened to being quiet?” Azzi mocks, adjusting Paige’s weight on her back as she begins to walk towards the staircase, grumbling something under her breath about ‘ungrateful best friends’ but Paige knows she doesn’t mean a word of it. She snuggles further into Azzi’s neck, letting herself breathe in the scent of the younger girl.

When Azzi had first left Minnesota, after they’d spent every second since the plane ride back from Argentina, Paige had thought that that hollowness in her chest was temporary, that it would fade once she got back into daily life. It didn’t. And the thing is the word miss had existed in Paige’s dictionary before too but she doesn’t think she really understood what it meant til she started to miss Azzi.

As soon as they reach Paige’s bedroom, Azzi’s already swatting Paige off her back. The blonde falls back onto the pillows on her bed with a content sigh, watching with a cheeky grin as Azzi pretends to stretch out the muscles on her back and her arms.

“I think that might have broke my fucking back,” the younger girl groan, face scrunching up in mock exhaustion, “and I have to sit on a plane again tomorrow.”

That wipes the smile straight off Paige's face. It’s so easy to get lost in the moment with Azzi, so easy to forget that they spend less time together than they do apart. They haven’t bothered with the actual lights but even in the dim glow of the moon through Paige’s windows, Azzi sees her best friend’s change in expression clearly, her own face becoming melancholic. Sighing, she climbs onto the bed herself and lies down next to Paige, intertwining her hands with the older girl’s.

“You could stay a little longer,” Paige says after a moment, eyes resolutely focused on the ceiling.

Azzi let out a wistful sigh, “I wish. But you know I can’t.”

“You can, you just won’t, little miss goody-two-shoes,” the light-hearted teasing eases some of the mood as they both let out soft giggles. They dissolve into a comfortable silence before, “I can’t wait til we’re playing for UConn together.”

Paige misses the way Azzi stiffens a little next to her, too enthralled with imagining a future where she and her best friend could conquer the world together. She knows Azzi, with all her indecisive tendencies, hasn’t quite come around to being anywhere near ready to pick a college team yet but Paige still has time to convince her and Paige Bueckers is nothing if not persuasive.

“So it’s definitely UConn then?”

“Yeah. I mean it’s UConn dude. The UConn. They’re the best. All these other programs are nice but when UConn calls, you don’t say no to that shit,” and Paige means that with all her heart. As the number one recruit in her class, there had been no shortage of offers and of course Paige had entertained them for a little while. But the minute Geno Auriemma had given his offer, everything else had become obsolete. She hadn’t committed yet, still maintaining a façade of being in the decision stage, but all of that was just a front. Paige knows she’s meant to be a UConn husky, there’s no way around it.

“I think you’ll make a pretty damn good Husky,” Azzi says with a soft smile, as she absentmindedly plays with Paige’s fingers.

“We’ll make damn good Huskies,” Paige affirms.

“I don’t know P, California’s pretty tempting,” it’s said teasingly but a hint of seriousness slips through the cracks anyway.

Paige scoffs, “cause it’s hot? Bruh that much heat would be boring. Connecticut gets all four seasons. We’d get the heat and the snow.”

“I get all of that in Virginia already,” Azzi points out with a huff, “maybe I want something different.”

“You do get something different. You get to play with me. That’s different.”

“Yeah but-”

“Dude why are you fighting me on this? Do you not want to be on the same team as me or something?” Paige asks agitatedly, suddenly feeling frustrated with the turn the conversation had taken.

“Okay breathe,” Azzi gives her a stern side-eye, “I was just saying California’s nice. Of course I want to be on your team. Did the shirt not make that obvious?”

Involuntarily, Paige has to smile at the memory of Azzi’s jersey, the team Paige that had been loudly imprinted across her chest, “right, sorry got a little carried away. I just always want you on my team, you know?”

“I’m always on Team Paige. I always have been. I always will be,” Azzi says firmly, as if it’s the most obvious truth in the world.

When Paige turns her head to look at her best friend, the younger girl is already looking back at her and the sincerity in Azzi’s eyes makes Paige’s heart stutter. The moon shines against Azzi’s face and Paige swears she can see every little detail in the dim light. And the thing is Paige has always known Azzi’s a pretty girl, she’s not blind. But it’s different tonight. Tonight Azzi’s the kind of beautiful that Paige wants to memorise until it’s imprinted in the back of her eyelids, the kind of beautiful that she wants to lock away in a treasure chest and preserve only for her own eyes to ever see again. The kind of beautiful that Paige knows she isn’t allowed to think of Azzi as. But still, right now, Azzi’s the kind of beautiful that makes Paige want to try and see if maybe, just maybe, there’s the possibility for something more.

That night, when she finally falls asleep to the sound of her best friend’s quiet breathing, Paige dreams of UConn and championships and at the end of it all, kissing Azzi under the confetti.

***

April 2024

There’s 14 seconds left in the National Championship game and UConn is ahead by eight points. Adrenaline courses through Paige’s veins as that one elusive dream of hers seems to finally be coming closer and closer to fruition. Winning a National Championship had been on her mind since she’d first picked up a basketball. The minute she’d committed to UConn, it had felt inevitable and yet year after year, her team had fallen just a little short. But this afternoon, it seems like it’s finally within grasp. 14 seconds to go. 14 steps closer to having her perfect moment.

Except, every time Paige had imagined this moment, she’d expected her best friend to be there. In the beginning, before everything, she’d dreamed of them being on the court together, running into each other’s arms the minute the buzzer sounded. And then, until the last second today before she had to take the court, Paige had just assumed that when she’d look in the stands, somewhere in the crowd, there’d be the one face she wanted to see most in the world. But no matter how much she squinted, that face had been nowhere to be found and Paige had forced herself to compartmentalise her disappointment, and focus on the game. She hadn’t looked at the crowd since.

The ball is in the other team’s hands, their point guard, diligently calling out plays before she inbounds it. Coach’s words echo in Paige’s head, try for a clean steal but don’t under any circumstances foul. Their pg inbounds the ball and the shot clock starts to count down. The ball bounces through the hands of different players on the other team but the UConn defence is stifling. Their coach is out of timeouts and it isn’t until the last millisecond that they heave up a prayer shot. And it doesn’t matter if it goes in, it’s a two point possession game, but Paige’s eyes are glued on the basketball anyways.

The shot is an airball. The buzzer sounds through the arena. UConn wins their 12th national championship.

For a second, everything goes silent around Paige. The normally over-excitable girl, known for her insane golden retriever energy, is perfectly still. It takes a couple more seconds for the adrenaline to hit. And then she’s screaming, pummeling her body into the rest of her teammates as the bleed blue crowd goes wild. She loses herself in the noise of her teammates cheering and the bright lights of cameras flashing nearby. They did it. And it doesn’t erase just how fucking hard the last couple of year had been, but it makes the burden significantly lighter.

Paige rushes through the handshake line, the opposing team’s coach giving her an appreciative review of her performance before she’s recaptured into a group hug by her teammates. It’s a surreal feeling really, one that’s far better than even her most wonderful dreams. For the first time since the game began, Paige lets her gaze wander over to the family section who are all tearfully hugging, smiling at her parents and then her siblings and then-

When her eyes meet Azzi’s, it’s like the last piece of the puzzle has finally settled into its rightful place, completing the perfect picture of Paige’s perfect moment. A #5 UConn jersey hangs loosely against Azzi’s hips as she smiles shyly at her best friend. And Paige is scared to blink, scared if she looks away, the girl in front of her will disappear. It takes everything in her to not rush into the stands, pull her best friend into her and kiss her under the confetti.

Azzi doesn’t budge when the rest of the family and friends crew start to move towards the court. There’s too much attention, too much media, for that to be a feasible option. Paige wishes they would all just disappear, let her have her moment the exact way she’d pictured it. She thinks she’d like to fulfil that dream of hers, kiss Azzi in the confetti, twirl her around, and between it all, let the world know that she was Paige’s.

As always, Drew is the first person to reach her. He’s a little too big for her to pick up, but she spins him around anyway.

“You won Paigey,” her little brother squeals and he might be older now, but that innocent admiration of his older sister is as palpable as always, “I knew you could do it!”

“Thanks for always believing in me, little dude,” Paige says softly, leaning her cheek against the top of Drew’s head.

Over the top of her brother's head, Paige realises with sudden panic that Azzi’s not there anymore. Dread filters into her bloodstream, the voices in her head screaming it was too good to be true. The way her body tenses doesn’t go unnoticed by her mother who’s quick to hold her.

“She said to tell you she’d see you at the hotel later,” Amy Jo says with a knowing smile, before letting Paige’s body sag into hers. She rubs her daughter’s back as relief settles into the younger girl's features, “proud of you Paigey.”

Paige smiles into her mother’s chest. Last year had been the hardest of her life and for a while the light at the end of the tunnel had been hard to see. Today, she feels the light surrounding her, washing away all the darkness from the last few years, bathing her in the glow of happiness.

***

“I always knew you’d look good in a UConn jersey.”

Azzi’s eyes fly open and Paige smirks, leaning her body against the wall. The last couple of hours had been a whirlwind of media, champagne and excited chatter about what the after party would be like. Paige’s focus had been on celebrating, but the thought of getting back to Azzi had been a constantly lingering presence in the back of her mind. And as the bus had gotten closer to the hotel, anxiety had creeped in because what if Azzi wasn’t there? What if she’d changed her mind?

Paige had smiled for the fans outside the hotel, diligently posing for pictures and signing autographs, ignoring the heaviness in heart. But as soon as she was far away from prying eyes, she was bolting towards her room. And then everything was okay. Paige has heard a lot of cliché things about love, about how it makes you hear violins and see stars and all of that, about how it increases your heart rate and makes you flush. But Paige thinks all of that can’t quite be right. Because when she’d seen Azzi, curled up in her sheets, #5 jersey crumpled but still fitted around her body, Paige had only felt a sense of calm. And that Paige thinks, is probably the actual truth of love, it’s about finding peace and to Paige, Azzi has always been her peace.

“I’d look great in any jersey,” Azzi claps back groggily, moving to sit up.

“But you look the best in mine. You always have,” Paige tries to keep her voice teasing, but it comes out sounding rather wistful, and the next words are even softer, “you came.”

Azzi bites her lips, looking down at her fiddling thumbs, “you asked me to.”

Those four little words carve themselves into a little crevice in Paige’s heart as if they’ll stay there forever, as if they’ll echo through her entire body for the rest of time. She practically throws herself onto the younger girl, the force of it pushing Azzi back down into the pillows, as she buries her head in the crook of Azzi’s neck. Their legs slot together of their own accord and it’s a little bit like they’re trying to meld into each other’s skin the way they press themselves as close as possible, til there’s barely space for air in between them. They lie like that for god knows how long; it goes by in a rush and yet ever so slowly.

“I’m really fucking happy you’re here,” Paige whispers into Azzi’s skin, “really fucking happy.”

Azzi doesn’t say anything, humming into Paige’s hair as she tightens her grip on the blonde’s waist but Paige can tell by the way she stiffens underneath her, that Azzi’s holding herself back from something. Her heart hammers in her chest as she lifts her face from Azzi’s neck to inspect the younger girl’s face.

“What aren’t you saying to me Az?” she whispers quietly with a sinking feeling.

“Paige,” Azzi closes her eyes. And just that is enough for Paige to understand exactly what’s going through her best friend’s head and suddenly she wishes she’d never asked, just let them have this moment.

“Never mind, I don't want to hear it.”

“That’s not how that works. I- I wanted to wait a little but we- we need to talk.”

“No we don’t,” Paige retorts stubbornly, fighting the tears threatening to spill, “I don’t want to.”

“Paige-”

The girl in question pushes herself off of Azzi, rising to sit on her knees, “this is meant to be the best day of my life Azzi.”

“I know- I’m sorr-”

“What game are you playing, Azzi? Why even fucking come if you were never gonna stay?” Paige spits out.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have,” Azzi says softly, as she sits up “maybe- maybe I should have stayed away. But it’s you Paige, it’s you and I- I’ve never been that good at staying away from you. And maybe I’m just really selfish but I- I told you once that I wanted to be there when your dreams came true and so- here I am.”

They’d barely known each other when Azzi had said that, when they had just been young innocent girls with a tentative friendship, lying in the grass and sharing their dreams. Back then, the words had thrown Paige off. She hadn’t quite understood why they had meant that much to her, why they had filled her with more warmth than the sun shining above them. But she’d tucked them away in a little corner of her heart hoping she’d understand it better when she was older. She’s older now and she understands. Except every single emotion she’d felt at fifteen is heightened with the realisation that the words had meant something to Azzi too. And-

Paige surges forward to kiss Azzi. She’s pretty sure this bipolar act of theirs will be the death of them someday but it’s the only thing in the moment that makes sense. Azzi is hesitant at first, clearly too in her head, always the overthinker, but she gives in when Paige squeezes at her waist. It’s not as if they’ve kissed that many times before but it feels familiar, a little bit like coming home. She moves to straddle Azzi’s hips and they can’t get any closer really with every bit of their bodies pressed together now, but Paige tries anyways, tries to etch please don’t leave me into the other girl’s skin. And she isn’t sure if the salt she can taste is from the tears steadily streaming from Azzi’s eyes or the ones free-falling from her own.

The minute Azzi pulls away, Paige misses her.

“We can’t-”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Paige cuts Azzi off immediately, resting her forehead against the younger girl’s, “please.”

“Paige,” Azzi breathes out, “I have to go.”

“No you don’t,” Paige says stubbornly.

“Paige please-”

“Stay- fuck please- Azzi- just give me tonight. Tomorrow we can talk and you can-,” Paige swallows, not wanting to say leave out loud, “but please- tonight can we just pretend? Can you give me that? Fuck- can I just have tonight? Please- just- stay.”

Azzi lets out a shaky breath, “it won’t make it hurt less.”

“I know- fuck- I know but I just don’t want it to hurt right now.”

“Okay,” Azzi whispers slowly, thumb caressing Paige’s wet eyelashes, “okay, I’ll stay tonight.”

Paige kisses her again.

***

The UConn team falls in love with Azzi in a matter of hours. No one had been shocked when Paige had shown up to the after party a.k.a everybody gathering at the hotel bar, fashionably late and with a nervous Azzi teetering behind her. It had been awkward at first; everyone was a little unsure of how to act around the new presence. Not only was Azzi from a rival team, but everyone was at least a little aware of her tumultuous relationship with their star player. But then KK had wanted to film a tiktok that needed someone to do random camerawork and when everybody else had groaned, Azzi had quietly volunteered. Much to KK’s delight, Azzi turned out to be quite the cameraman. And that apparently was all that was needed and Paige marvels at the way Azzi just fits.

She moves around Paige’s team as if they’re just as much hers. One second she’s timing some stupid drinking game that KK and Ice are playing, the next she’s sitting in a corner laughing with a more subdued Ash and Q.

Aubrey and Ayanna gush over their girlfriend and Azzi’s coos over their pictures, a hint of wistfulness on her face when she meets Paige’s eyes.

The team does their routine of teasing Aaliyah’s about being vegetarian and Azzi diligently backs the Canadian up with a spiel of how tofu isn’t actually that bad. That gets her a hi-5 from Aaliyah despite the eye rolls from the rest of the team.

Despite being a little tipsy from having been dragged into doing shots with Amari and Carol, the two other people she knows pretty well, Azzi diligently lets Inés and Jana teach her little bits of Portuguese and Egyptian.

Even Nika sheds her frostiness, amused by Azzi’s curiosity to learn her native language beyond just the curse words, and teaches the younger girl a couple of words. Azzi rolls her eyes fondly when she realises she’s been taught to say UConn is the best team ever in Croatian and amidst Nika’s laughter, Paige knows is a hidden acceptance.

But the best part of it is that although Azzi’s suddenly being pulled in all different directions by various UConn girls, she never really leaves Paige’s side through it all. There’s always a little bit of them touching, whether it’s their shoulders or their knees, even when they’re both involved in completely different conversations and activities. It feels oddly domestic and Paige is reminded of the part after her state championship all over again. The burst of i want this forever that stirs in her chest makes her want to sob because it collides head first against a wall of this is only for tonight. And Paige knows that one night won’t ever be enough for her.

“Aye Paige’s girl, come play truth or shots with,” KK’s loud voice breaks through Paige’s cloud of distress and it’s eclipsed by the implication of those two words.

Paige’s girl. The phrases makes itself home in Paige’s heart, sounding so fucking right. She hasn’t let herself acknowledge it truly ever but that’s how it’s always been in Paige’s mind. It’s how she’s always thought of Azzi. As hers. Her Azzi. Her girl.

“I’m not-that’s not-” Azzi’s cheeks are tinted pink as she stutters through her words, withering under KK’s cocked eyebrow.

“Uh-okay if you say so,” KK rolls her eyes, holding her hands up in a sarcastic defensive position, “guess we’re starting off truth or shots by lying.”

The rest of the team laughs as Azzi’s blush grows even deeper and Paige can’t even try and hide her smile, her own neck tingling a little bit as she tucks herself into Azzi’s side. And it’s not real, they’re not anything, but in this moment it feels a little bit like they’re everything.

“You guys are sickening,” Ice accuses when she notices the two of them cheesily smiling at each other, “it makes me gag.”

“They’re cute. Leave them alone,” Caroline chastises, ever the supportive friend.

Azzi leans back against Paige’s arm as the group goes around the circle, asking each other ridiculous questions, cheering like little kids when their teammates opts to drink instead of answering a vaguely invasive question. When it’s her turn, Paige can already tell by the glint in KK’s eyes that her menace mini-me is about to cause trouble.

“Paigey cakes, when’s the last time you had sex?”

Next to her, Paige can feel Azzi stiffen immediately. The shot feels heavy in Paige’s hand as she seriously contemplates taking it. She knows why KK asked the question, probably having concocted some idea of exposing Paige and Azzi. She’d known by the waggling eyebrows that the whole team had thought the two of them were late because they’d been fucking but that couldn’t be further from the bitter truth.

Paige chances a look at Azzi’s face as she bites down on her lips. The younger girl’s face is stoically devoid of any emotion and Paige knows she’s thinking about the night of the crash (or as Paige likes to call it, the most terrifying night of her life) except-

“November, last year,” Paige says slowly and Azzi whips her face around to look at her, lips falling apart in shock.

“Don’t play, there’s no fucking way,” Ice guffaws and Paige shrugs.

“It’s the truth.”

“Bruh what the fuck,” KK looks a little shell-shocked, “how the fuck did you survive that long?”

“Some of us actually know what to do with our own fingers,” Paige quips defensively, trying to ignore the butterflies dancing in her stomach at the way Azzi’s still looking at her.

“I bet Azzi knows all about your fingers huh Azzi?” and even that, KK’s unhinged commentary, isn’t enough to get Azzi to pull her gaze away from Paige. It’s almost as if she hadn’t heard it all.

“You didn’t- that night?” Azzi manages to get out.

“Couldn’t do it,” Paige mumbles, “she wasn’t you.”

Despite the horde of people around them, they’re in their own little bubble now. There are a multitude of questions swimming in Azzi’s eyes and Paige wants to answer all of them if it means that maybe just maybe, she could prevent the inevitable misery tomorrow would bring.

“Okay Azzi, it’s your turn,” Amari’s voice draws Azzi’s attention away and Paige feels cold without the heat of it. She doesn’t know how she’ll survive tomorrow. Living in the present isn’t working and Paige finds herself already feeling the emptiness she knows will become her reality in a couple of hours. Her fingers tap an incessant pattern on her thigh as she tries to keep her focus on the game,

Azzi swallows nervously before mustering up a grin with false confidence, “I’m ready. Hit me with your best, I’m not drinking.”

“We’ll see about that,” KK smirks, diabolically rubbing her hands together, before she turns to Nika, “all yours Nik-Nik.”

The other girls “ooh”, knowing Nika’s reputation for being notoriously good at this game. The Croatian grins at Azzi, as she sits up from where she’d been lazily lying on the love seat, a glint of mischief in her eyes. And then her eyes meet the forlorn ones of her twin and something shifts. When she looks back at Azzi, there’s a more serious look on Nika’s face.

“Have you ever been in love?”

There’s pin drop silence once the gravity of the question registers. The light-hearted air in the room is replaced with anticipation, as all of Paige’s teammates look back and forth between their point guard and her best friend. Paige isn’t sure if she wants to know the answer, doesn’t know if there’s an answer that wouldn’t break her heart just a little bit. For a second, it looks like Azzi’s going to drink until she puts the shot down on her hand rest until-

“Yes,” she confesses in a whisper, and Paige feels her heart begin to race, “I have.”

“How many times?” Nika prods

“That’s not how the game works. I already answered your question.”

“Different rules for newcomers,” Nika shrugs. It’s a blatant lie but nobody says anything. Paige is still caught up in her own head and the other girls won't challenge Nika, not when they’re just as curious, “I get to ask questions til you drink.”

Azzi narrows her eyes, knowing it’s all bullshit and maybe if she wasn’t a little bit tipsy and competitive, maybe if she couldn’t feel every inch of Paige’s side pressed against her, she’d walk away but she can’t.

“Only once,” she answers.

“With your ex-girlfriend?” Nika asks. The way she raises an eyebrow suggests there’s only one right answer to the question. Paige doesn’t know if there’s a right or wrong answer, only that there’s an answer that would shatter her.

“No. I was never in love with her,” Azzi directs the answer towards Nika, but everyone knows it’s meant for Paige’s ears. And despite the tornado still roaring in her body, the blonde lets out a sigh of relief.

Nika’s intimidating demeanour cracks a little bit when that answer makes her smile, “are you in love with someone right now?”

Even if it’s not said out loud, the implication of Nika’s question, the someone, is clear. And suddenly Paige doesn’t want to hear the answer, not right now, not when they’re both a little tipsy, not when they’re surrounded by all her teammates, not when their future is so unclear.

“Drink,” Paige cuts in, holding the shot in front of Azzi, “don’t answer it.”

“Paige-”

“Drink Azzi,” Paige says firmly.

Azzi looks equal parts relieved and frustrated as she downs the drink, happy to have gotten out of the uncomfortable round of questioning but a little annoyed at losing in front of the UConn girls.

“And you said you wouldn’t drink,” Nika sneers, as she hi-5’s her teammates.

“Because you bent the rules; she did great,” Paige defends immediately and everyone snickers, the mood in the room returning to something more casual.

“So fucking pussywhipped,” Ice teases.

“Shut up,” Paige whines, hiding her face against Azzi’s shoulder as everybody else laughs. If the voices in head screaming this is just for tonight would shut up for a second, Paige thinks maybe she could fall in love with this moment, surrounded by her found family.

It’s almost 3 am when the team decides maybe they should start going to bed, knowing they have a morning flight back to Connecticut. Everyone else is still in a jovial mood, sufficiently drunk of both alcohol and the high of a championship but Paige’s stomach pools with dread. Every minute is a step closer to a goodbye, she’ll never be prepared to say.

They get to the lobby of the hotel when Paige turns to Azzi, ignoring her anxiety to be a nuisance instead.

“No,” Azzi says immediately when she sees Paige making grabby hands at her, “there’s literally an elevator Paige.”

“So? That just makes it easier for you. This is tradition.”

“In what world is this a tradition?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly.

“Since I won the state championship,” Paige grins, “pleeeeease, I’m tired, my feet hurt.”

Azzi gives her an unimpressed look, “you’ve been sitting for the last couple of hours.”

“And before that I was winning a championship, after beating your team by the way,” Paige’s smirk widens when Azzi guffaws at catching a stray.

“Oh fuck off. Reminding me of that is not the way to get me to carry you by the way.”

“C’mon Az, you know you’re gonna give in anyway. You know you wanna sleep, stop wasting time.”

Azzi rolls her eyes with a dramatic sight before doing exactly what she always does, giving into Paige, “hop on then you big baby.”

Paige cheers, latching on Azzi’s back as her knees circle around the other girl’s waist. Unlike when they were younger, Azzi’s doesn’t stumble anymore at the additional weight. She’s stronger now, completely solid and steady underneath Paige and that absolutely doesn’t trigger any inappropriate thoughts in the older girl’s brains, absolutely.

“Y’all are so cringe,” KK crinkles up her face when she turns to look at them as they wait for the elevator, but there’s a certain amount of fondness in her voice, “but Azzi’s cool. Much cooler than you P boogers. You should bring her around more often.”

Paige’s smile vanishes in tandem with Azzi letting out a strangled noise. KK looks between the two of them, slowly realising maybe she’d just put her foot in her mouth.

“Yeah, maybe,” Paige answers noncommittally, trying to keep her voice steady.

Much to her relief, the elevator dings open, saving her from having to say anything more. She wraps her arms tighter around Azzi, burying her face as far into the other girl’s neck as she can and closing her eyes, trying to lose herself in Azzi, instead of in the jail of her own mind.

She doesn’t look up from where she’s nestled into Azzi’s skin, when the rest of her teammates start towards their own separate rooms, telling Azzi how lovely it was to meet her.

“Can you get off her back, so I can give her a hug?” Ice pinches Paige’s arm but the older girl just shrugs her off.

“No. Go hug someone else.”

“Bro you’re so fucking annoying,” Ice groans and Azzi sends her an apologetic wink but it doesn’t go unnoticed that she doesn’t try to shake Paige off like she normally would. It heals something in Paige to know that Azzi doesn’t want to let go either. And she doesn’t understand why they’re doing this, why they’re fighting this, when neither of them want to.

“I think your teammates might like me better than you,” Azzi teases when they finally get back to the room and Paige climbs off of her back. The blonde is too lost in her thoughts to come back with a smart quip. And of course her best friend notices it immediately, nudging her quietly, “P? You good?”

Paige blinks up at Azzi, and even before she says the word, she knows Azzi’s already read them in her eyes, “I don’t want you to go.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs tiredly, “what happened to pretending tonight?”

“Fuck pretending,” Paige blames the alcohol for how loud her voice comes out, guilty only because it makes the girl in front of her flinch, “I don’t want just tonight. It’s no where near fucking enough. I want forever. With you.”

“That’s not- Paige- we live on different sides of the country.”

“For now, but we can make it work. It’s us,” Paige pleads desperately.

Azzi scoffs, stepping away from Paige, “you say that like it a good thing.”

“What-”

“Us! We don’t- it’s not- being ‘us’ is not a good thing Paige. May us from before but us now? Us now is complicated and messy and hard and I just- I can’t do this Paige.”

“You can- we can- Azzi- just- think about it okay- sleep on it- you’ll see. You’ll see, I’m right.”

Azzi shakes her head, closing her eyes as a single teardrop leaks out, “you’re making this so fucking hard Paige.”

“I don’t want to- I’m sorry- I’m so sorry baby,” the term of endearment slips through Paige’s lips before she can catch it, “but I need you to think about it once please.”

She moves to cup Azzi’s cheeks, thumb caressing away the tears, “please.”

“Okay, okay,” Azzi nods, resting her forehead against Paige’s, “I’ll think about it.”

They’re quiet as they get changed for bed, thinking about the same thing. Co-existing together comes naturally to them after years of inhabiting each other’s space and the. there's no getting in each other’s way, even if they’re both dead silent. It’s awkward when they finally get into bed, both of them lying on their back, resolutely staring up at the ceiling. Paige is the first one to move, turning onto her side so she can face Azzi. The moon shines against Azzi’s face and Paige thinks that so much has changed, but Azzi’s still that kind of beautiful, the same kind of beautiful Paige had thought of her as since the state championship.

“What was your answer going to be,” she asks quietly.

“To what?”

“To Nika’s question. Are you in love with someone right now?”

Azzi hesitates a little bit, before turning her own body to face Paige, “you know the answer Paige, you don’t need me to say it.”

Paige doesn’t prod, knowing they were too volatile for her to keep pushing. Instead she reaches over to intertwine their hands together.

“Do you know what my answer would have been?”

“Yeah,” Azzi says softly, squeezing her hands, “yeah I do.”

Maybe there’s peace in knowing. Or maybe there’s only more pain. Paige doesn’t know if the truth sets her free, doesn’t know if she could ever even be set free from the shackles that bind her to Azzi, doesn’t think she even wants to be set free. But at least Azzi knows too. Maybe there’s peace in drowning together.

***

Paige wakes up in a panic when she reaches over and finds the other side of the bed empty. She gets up with a jolt, eyes frantically searching for Azzi, until they finally land on the girl sitting on the couch next to the bed.

“Fuck,” Paige’s voice is still wracked with sleep, “I thought you left.”

“That’s more your style,” Azzi says and Paige flinches at the reminder, “how’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. How about you?”

“Pretty shit actually” Azzi admits, “I woke up every two seconds, scared you’d be gone.”

“Az-”

“You asked me to believe in you- to believe in us and I-” Azzi draws in a sharp breath and Paige knows she’s not going to like where this is going, “I want to- I really, really, wish I could. But I don’t. I can’t- I can’t be with you Paige- not when I’m scared you’re going to break my heart every second.”

“Azzi,” Paige scrambles across the bed, stopping when the girl in question holds her hands up. Everything in her feels like it’s on fire. There are no burn marks on her skin but she swears she’s been turned to ashes underneath.

“And you deserve better than that too Paige. You deserve someone who- who’s not scared. Who can give you all of herself without- without holding back and I- I can’t do that.”

“You can- fuck- Azzi you can- please,” desperation leaks through every syllable as Paige fights what she knows is a losing battle.

“Not right now. Too much has happened between us and we can’t- we can’t just ignore all of that and start something new- maybe someday- but not right now.”

Azzi stands up from her seat, hesitantly walking over to Paige’s side of the bed. She cups Paige’s face, watery dark brown eyes meeting crystal blue ones that are glistening with tears.

“Azzi please,” Paige begs, feeling everything slip away before she’d even had a chance to fight for it.

Azzi presses her lips to Paige’s forehead, holding them there for what feels like the briefest of seconds until she’s pulling away, “I’m sorry P.”

And then she’s gone and every part of Paige’s heart is gone with her.

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

166 notes · View notes

batlleonafc · 7 months

Note

She’s a scab. She only cares about herself and what she can personally gain. She let her “friends” take the fall more than once now so she could get a world cup and continue to push that she’s the best player in the world when in reality she played like absolute dog shit and really that second ballon dor shouldn’t have gone to her in the 1st place. She’s just trying to stay relevant sorry that I’m giving you guys the truth 🤷‍♀️

Welcome to @handmeascalpel's ted talk, I'm your host @batlleonafc buckle up and enjoy the ride

Hello, anon. I've read everything you've mentioned. Do you have any evidence to support your claims? Considering that I'm reading this now, you don't. So, let me present the evidence I have. If you understand after this, great. If not, I can't stop people from forming their own opinions.

Exhibit A:

You said, "she only cares about herself and what she can personally gain."

On September 1, 2022, Alexia tweeted in support of Irene Paredes when the RFEF essentially blamed her for the players' opposition to the federation. Alexia was injured at the time and wasn't even in camp or eligible for a call-up. She was the first to tweet, sparking the revolution against the RFEF.

Ironically, on September 23 of the same year, exactly one year ago, Alexia was the first to post the Las15 statement, stating that the players wanted a "firm commitment for a professional project" and expressing their unhappiness that private conversations with the federation were leaked.

Exhibit B:

You said, "she let her friends take the fall more than once so she could get a World Cup."

As I mentioned earlier, Alexia was injured and therefore ineligible for a call-up. So her statement and email were never considered valid.

Every statement has always been posted by her first because she has a large following. She has consistently spoken out loudly and clearly about the problems. She never let friends take any fall. More proof is attached below.

She went to the World Cup because she was fit and couldn't escape sanctions, in case you forgot about them. I'd like you to tell me how many players who came back from an ACL injury immediately played well, or maybe just give me some names.

#seacabo was started by Alexia, and she took the lead for everything. It's not hard to find this evidence. Regardless of what people like you want to say about her, both on and off the pitch, you can see what kind of person she is.

Exhibit C:

You say, "that second Ballon d'Or shouldn't have gone to her in the first place."

Who do you think should have won it then? I'd be happy to hear your answer.

But since you brought up the Ballon d'Or, let me share a few things:

Official stats from the 2021/22 season:

La Liga Femenina:

- 26 games played.

- 18 goals scored.

- 16 assists.

Copa de la Reina:

- 4 games played.

- 4 goals scored.

- 1 assist.

Supercopa de España:

- 2 games played.

- 1 goal scored.

- 1 assist.

UEFA Women's Champions League (UWCL):

- 10 games played.

- 11 goals scored.

- 3 assists.

Regarding the Ballon d'Or voting, she only missed out on 29 days, equivalent to one tournament (the Euros). Nobody came close to her stats, and she's a midfielder. These stats are only for her club. Her national team stats are just as impressive, as she has been crucial in every single match, not just easy ones. She essentially surpassed her own record from the previous season when she won the Ballon d'Or. In short, she deserved it.

There's more to a player than just stats, especially for defenders. But the stats Alexia has as a midfielder are outstanding.

Exhibit D:

Finally, you said, "she's just trying to stay relevant." Sorry to say, but she doesn't have to say anything to stay relevant.

She uses her influential platform to talk about what's true and important, unlike many players. Ramona Bachmann is a good example, and even Athenea, for that matter.

I hope you've learned something today, anon. If not, good luck with your opinion of Alexia. You might just look foolish for hating on her.

Thank you for listening to @handmeascalpel's ted talk I hope you learned something today!

#alexia putellas #she had way too much fun doing this #she's the best

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v3nusxsky · 1 year

Text

Battle scars| NSFW/angst

*A/n we are all use to me writing at ridiculous times in the morning so I'm starting this at 4:30 am but probably won't post it till monday. I can't sleep and this prompt is refusing to leave my head.*

Tw~ burns scaring. Alluding to smut but not detailed.

Prompt~ Reader is nervous to let Larissa see her body due to having scars. Unsure if they want to show Larissa due to how they acquired them. Larissa doesn't question it tho just focusing on kissing each and everyone one. smuttttt if you can please for this reader will have the ability to generate fire.

☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾

Long sleeve tops or dresses and a signature pair of lilac cloves where a standard for you. Daily, never removing any of them. No matter the weather. Now of course you knew the dangers for yourself. You'd had your fair share of dehydration when learning to control your ability. In fact that was the period when you gained the scars that marred your otherwise beautiful arms. Reminders of the lack of control you once had. You knew how ugly they were. And that's why you were gifted the gloves that you never took off. Unless you were sure you'd be alone. If you hated seeing them then no one else should have to. Especially when teaching at Nevermore.

Teaching Elemental control in the school is what led you to this moment. No one knew of your ability not even your girlfriend, Larissa Weems. Elements fascinated you way before you discovered what you could do so it wasn't exactly hard to convey your passion without revealing the secret. People asked about the gloves. It was only natural. Especially your girlfriend. She never pushed tho sure you would tell her when you were ready. Just like you hadn't pushed to find her ability. Shapeshifters were definitely a less known breed of outcast. That made you feel honoured to call one yours.

Speaking of Larissa Weems, you were sat with your head resting against her shoulder, mindlessly watching the flickering dance of the flames in front of you. You seemed to be entranced not even realising your love looking at you. Today being your 6 month anniversary you both decided that it was time for the next step. A bit of wine was had to relax you both, not that it seemed to calm your racing thoughts. After tonight Larissa would know. She would know how imperfect your skin is and will always be. You'd never be the women you were without this ability. You palled in comparison to her unmatched beauty. A literal goddess. And oh how you longed for touch. A craving that you'd never allowed to be stated. Clothing always remained a barrier.

"Darling? You quite alright there?" She murmured getting your attention. Your cheeks flushed realising she'd caught you zoning out. You made sure to quickly reply hoping that she wasn't blaming herself in anyway . "I'm okay just thinking my love"

She slowly blinked her eyes at you tilting her head as a silent why? "I need to speak with you before we go back to your room..." you trailed off nervously playing with your gloved fingers that were resting in your lap.

"Is this about your gloves?" She queried. Oh how you adored her beautiful intelligent mind. You gave her a nod and she reassured you to take your time and only talk if you were ready. Nothing had to happen tonight. She made sure to reassure you of that.

"I- you don't know my ability, but it's why I'm always so covered. I do not take my clothes off around or in anyone's presence. You will be the first to experience this and I understand if you don't want me after. I mean we could always turn the lights off right? So you don't have to see them? That's what my ex did. I kept my gloves on and we had the lights off. Until she freaked out and left when she accidentally caught a glimpse of me days later." You were rambling. Spiralling off into many different trains of thoughts without finishing the first.

"Darling, hey hey take a breath. Just breathe a second okay? Can you do that pretty girl? Breathe for me." She comforted you slowing her own breathing to help regulate yours. Your rambling letting on just how much of a thing this was to you.

"There see good girl" she praised noticing how you'd calmed significantly following her breathing pattern. "Darling I promise you I won't be scared off. I would very much like to see all of you. You're absolutely stunning my dear." She stated with a tone leaving no room for argument. This was her genuine thoughts and feelings, another reason why you were even considering tonight. You whimpered out in a voice sounding incredibly small "okay" before standing and walking to her bedroom that you'd often been in to just cuddle or nap. Wordlessly she followed you.

You sat yourself on the bed and slowly took each finger from the gloves you slipped them off hesitantly, neatly folding them to your right. Only then did you roll your sleeves showing the amount of damage that laid there. Waiting on bated breath you watched her eyes drop in sadness as she took in the sight. "I um I can generate fire. And with this as a youngling I had no control over my emotions and often burned myself with my own power. Never anyone else just myself. It's tied to emotions I've learned over the years. And I can manipulate fire in other ways. Such as pushing fire out or in through an aura" you finished your statement waiting for her reaction. Hell you would settle if she'd at least blink right now.

"I'm sorry I can put them back on it's okay I'm sorry I'm sorry I know they aren't pleasant god I'm sorry" you rambled fumbling to adorn the lilac gloves. Only stoping when a bear hand touched your marred bare hand. You flinched away from the contact. So unusual and unfamiliar. Yet you didn't want to move away. God no wonder this is popular. Touch was certainly addicting and you could see yourself craving it more and more from your girlfriend.

"I'm sorry darling I didn't mean to. Do they hurt? I don't mean to hurt you I just don't put them on?" She whimpered out eyes transfixed on your bare hands and arms.

"Uh no they don't hurt. I don't really feel the heat at all and my hands are always warm but they don't hurt. Are you sure you want them off? What about the light? I know they are ugly you don't have to try and protect my feelings" you stated back almost unbelieving that she wasn't phased.

"Can I? " you nodded dumbfounded watching as she brought her lips to each burn that scared your body. Ghosting them ever so lightly over each and every one in reach. Shivers ran through your body. This was dizzying and magical and you wanted more.

"They don't bother me darling. Your battle scars are beautiful. Just like you. My pretty one. And I would very much like to spend all night showing you just how much I mean that statement. " she informed you holding your gaze making sure you understood every word. These scars wouldn't keep her from loving you.

"I uh I'd like that" you mumbled embarrassed. The embarrassment soon forgotten when her lips found yours. A innocent loving kiss soon turned into a passionate and lustful one.

And Larissa did she spent all night worshipping your body and you did the same for her. The most beautiful experience you had ever had. Lights on being able to see everything. Her expressions and her touch, a new favourite addiction. Larissa seemed to enjoy the warmth of your bare skin on hers so you made sure to rest them on her skin as you both basked in the afterglow of your night. You could stay like this forever.

When the slim fingers began to trace the patterns the burns created you tensed slightly before relaxing. Although it feels amazing it was definitely going to take some getting use to. "Darling, thank you for trusting me with your battle scars. I hope you know I love them just as much as you honey. You're so beautiful" she murmured not moving her gaze from her fingers still tracing your arms idly. This was all you ever wanted. Someone to love you for you. Burns and all.

Word count~ 1436

#fanfic #larissa weems #wednesday netflix #larissa x you #larissa x reader #principle weems #principleweemsxreader #gwendoline christie

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existslikepristin · 9 months

Text

Okay, so I actually had a decent number of new followers in the last couple of days who have she/her in their bios, so I don't know exactly how accurate this part is anymore and I apologize for that. I'm going to have to write more futa!you or something if this trend continues and my audience becomes more diverse. Anyway, we'll carry on with the plan for the time being. I hope everyone can find this amusing, failing all else

Tags: NSFW, S.M.U.T., genie, getting sexual

(Story Index)

Asking for sex stuff

You shrug. "Well, as long as I'm safe, discovering stuff 'the fun way' sounds fine. But as a point of interest, what did you mean by 'Whether or not the questions come before you do…?'"

"Ah, yes, I'm sorry the spelling was off, but I meant you might cum before asking the questions."

"Cum?"

"You know, like in my mouth."

You blink. "O-oh. Is that option still on the table?"

"Could be."

"You'll give me a blowjob?"

"As long as you have the equipment for it. Let me check…" Joy looks at the blogs of the people who have liked the posts and assumes they're overwhelmingly majority male, "Yeah, I believe a blowjob would be what I'll give you. If you don’t have a penis, you can just pretend I gave you one with magic, and maybe we can get around to removing it later."

"What?"

"Don't worry about it. So, you want a blowjob?"

"Yeah!"

"Is that a wish?"

"Oh. Uh, no—"

Joy cuts you off. The air around you seems to get darker, heavier. "So you're trying to disguise a wish already?! Breaking a rule already?!"

"Wh-what?! No! I was just—I thought you were offering!"

The atmosphere returns to normal. Joy smiles and leans in toward you. "I was."

As if by magic (probably actually by magic), your shorts come undone and fall around your ankles. Not-strangely, your cock is already hard. A little bit of sudden, temporary, existential terror has that effect on you, apparently. Not only is your dick hard, but it is in the hands of a mysterious, expositorial woman.

Her touch is divine (literally, maybe). An unexpected, transcendent pleasure pulses through your entire body, but quickly fades and is replaced with the far more normal—but still wonderful—sensation of lips wrapping around your dick. Joy may not be human, but she sure feels like it.

All those descriptions of blowjobs that you’ve read in K-pop fanfiction suddenly and simultaneously make sense. Not that that’s new information to you, obviously. You’ve definitely had a blowjob before. Like a lot of blowjobs. You even know that they call a group of blowjobs a “buzz” because you’ve had so many. Yes, you’ve totally had a buzz of blowjobs. It’s just that it happened in Canada, so other people wouldn’t really know.

Joy beats out that whole buzz though. She swirls her tongue and applies pressure everywhere that it matters. It’s a massage and an adrenaline rush in a single, skimpily-packaged gift box. A gift box with very slightly glowing green eyes, a personality, and her own hopes and dreams, probably, forgoing a deep discussion of those things in favor of making your cock feel really good. Put some respect on this eternally bound slave.

Options:

Oh gosh, wow. Let’s not complicate things yet and just enJoy™ this. Because you know what’s great? That’s right. It’s blowjobs that are great.

Wait a second. This doesn’t feel right, demanding a blowjob when you just barely met this woman! Ask her to stop so you can take her to dinner first, at least.

Moral implications be damned! She’s clearly into this. Get her undressed and advance this sexual session into something more traditional.

Hey, blowjobs are great and all, as stated in option 1, but you’ve got a being of unfathomable cosmic power on her knees here. Get wishing!

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spookypete-94 · 8 months

Text

Beastie: chapter #6 GhostXFem!reader

Slow burn, following MW2 storyline, eventually branching into my own. Warning for canon COD violence and language

This chapter is much longer then the others! You were warned! But I will not be posting the next 2 days. Word count 4,735.

part 5.

part 4.

part 3.

part 2.

part 1.

Alejandro had sent someone into town try to find anything they could on El Sin Nombre that would be useful. It was someone he had that was playing both sides. They had gained trust with the cartel and El Sin Nombre while giving that information to Alejandro.

Alejandro had called for a meeting on a rooftop of a building in front of the safe house that he already knew of.

"My source told me that they are all gathering here tonight."

Soap was looking through at the house with binoculars.

"La casa of El Sin Nombre?"

"No, one of his lieutenants. My sources tell me all the VIPs in Las Almas will be there tonight. Some are invited... some are..," Alejandro's words drifted off to help imply.

"Volun-told?" Asked Graves.

"Yes."

"What's the meet about?"

"Us." He said in Spanish. "Las Almas is burning, and they want to know who lit the fire. But like all of their gatherings, it'll have drugs, women, and guns I'm sure." This is where the conversation shifted. Alejandro turned to face Y/N now who had been standing behind them all while they scoped out the safe house that looked to be built like a fortress. The others saw the shift in the conversation, turning to follow him as well to see what his plan was.

"Sin Nombre will be there, yeah?" Ghost asked to confirm.

"No guarantees, but this is our best shot for now."

"Then we take it, I have enough Shadows here to take over the whole damn country." Graves cockily said, hands strapped through the shoulders of his vest.

"I'd prefer if you didn't" Alejandro said shortly, reminding Graves that he is to help in this situation, not take over.

"Just sayin', one house shouldn't be a problem."

"We need Sin Nombre alive," Ghost said, again shutting down Graves.

"Well... we need to meet him."

"How?" asked Soap.

"Give them what they want, Intel." Graves stated matter-of-factly. "They wanna know who's here? Let's tell 'em."

"My source tells me there is a group of escorts that will be brought in around 2200," Alejandro said looking at Y/N. Her eyes narrowed at the Colonel. She didn't like where this was going.

"Why does that matter?" She asked him arms crossing staring him down. Say it shit head, she thought in her head knowing exactly where this was going.

"We could get you in that group and into the gathering to be a set of eyes and ears that way. I will find a way in as well."

"I'll go too." Soap said, knowing the conversation was about to turn heated.

"You want me to pretend to be a fucking escort." She said to him, the ending of it was supposed to sound like a question, but it came out as a statement. Accusatory.

"Well... yeah. I think the more we can get inside this gathering for eyes and ears, the more helpful it would be to breach the inside when the time comes."

"I'll go." repeated Soap trying to defuse the situation further. His second attempt.

"You want to send me into the lions den, no weapons to defend myself... as a fucking escort," she repeated. "Alejandro I respect the hell out of you, but there is no way I'm doing that."

"I'll go," Soap said for the third time.

"They wanna know who's here, let's tell them in person." Graves said next splitting up the discussion that he clearly was finding interesting now.

"In person?" Alejandro asked not following what he was meaning wanting him to elaborate.

"Correcto."

"We get one of us inside, find the boss, and roll him up."

"I'll do it," Soap for the fourth and final time.

"You go in there, and they'll kill you hermano."

Like they wouldn't to kill me? Or... she shuddered at the other thought of what could happen as an escort.

"Think you should go." Ghost said over to her from across his shoulder while Alejandro, Soap and Graves discussed their ideas together.

"You can't be serious," she said back to him.

"I'll make sure you're armed, I'll find a way for you to communicate and I'll take overwatch. I won't let them touch you. It'll be nice to have someone inside in case things go south and Johnny needs help."

Her face was one of mortification. "I'm not made to be a spy, I'm made to be a soldier."

"You can do it, " his tone getting annoyed, "you will do it."

"I don't take orders from you," she scoffed, surprised by his change of words.

"One simple phone call, and I'll tell Laswell to tell you to do it." he challenged. She rolled her eyes.

"Fine." she glowered to him.

Alejandro finished up his conversation with Soap telling him he had balls, confirming he would be sent in.

"It's settled then, I'll take overwatch, shadow circles the target in a helo."

"Roger that, they are going to want proof." Graves ripped off a patch. "Show them this." He handed it to Soap. Y/N still stood there with her arms crossed over her chest, annoyed with the whole situation.

"All right, lets get after it." Graves said dismissing the meeting.

Soap caught up with her, jogging as he did to try to match her fast and heated pace. "I'm sorry Lass, I tried."

"It's fine," she said shortly.

"I know you don't want to, but your brave for still going. I'm just telling myself that we came to stop a missile. I need to do what I can."

She glanced up at him. How did he seem to know how to calm her down? This is the second time he had managed to do so. His outlook on this helped her see through her red haze of being forced to do this. "I'm sorry, Soap. You're brave... or crazy for volunteering to go in there. I'm not sure which."

" 'Ey, I'll do what is needed." He said trying to down play it.

Graves got into a vehicle to head to the aircraft for his own preparations.

Alejandro got into the drivers side, Ghost the passenger seat, leaving Soap and Y/N in the back seat. She tried to make herself small, still pissed with how Ghost had spoke to her. She felt like a new recruit all over again taking orders. Alejandro was looking at her in the rear view mirror, trying to make eye contact for any sort of idea of how she was feeling or what she was thinking. She could tell he was, but paid no mind.

Once they arrived at base, Alejandro finally spoke. "Y/N, come with me." After a big huff to calm herself, she closed the door of the vehicle, following quickly to stay with Alejandro's stride. She knew Ghost was watching her, but she refused to look at him.

"Thank you," Alejandro said over his shoulder to her.

"Don't mention it," she said flatly, she was trying to not be disrespectful but was far from comfortable doing this.

"The one who is my source, she has a dress you can use. I believe it'll fit."

"Your source is a woman? Why can't she go?"

"She's already had contact with some of the ones who will be at this gathering, I can't risk her too with the chance of being recognized. I wouldn't ask this of you if I had a different option. I'm grateful you are doing it, thank you."

She nodded, done talking ready to just get this done with. Alejandro introduced her to his source, her name Isabella. The source advised her where to meet with the other girls, it was west of the other side of the building near a pool, opposite of where Soap would be entering.

"I don't think anyone will notice an extra, men don't pay attention to quantity as much as they do quality," the girl joked with her, earning a small dark smile from Y/N.

Isabella presented her with a black lace dress, that ironically fit her like a glove even though it wasn't originally bought for her.

"Beautiful," Isabella said as she zipped up the back of the dress. Y/N pulled on a pair of opened toe black heeled boots that Isabella had also given her. Her hair had been twisted up quickly, in a messy hair pin. If anything I can use the hairpin to stab someone in the eye if needed.... she thought to herself

Isabella placed a hand on her arm, tracing up the black and white tattoos on her left arm and then on down her colorful right arm. "These make you look like you could be a killer though."

"Little late, they are going to have to come with." Y/N said, tongue curt being a smart ass.

"You will blend in regardless." Isabella placed some make up on Y/N face.

"Great."

Y/N exited the room she had been given with Isabella to get ready.

"Steamin' Jesus," Soap said upon seeing Y/N. It was admiration that's for sure. Y/N wasn't in the mood for it.

"Not a fucking word." She said to both him and Ghost as she walked by. Her only warning she was going to give. She refused to make eye contact still. Her mind kept thinking over and over in hear head that she looked like a hooker.

They climbed back into the truck. Soap was in more normal clothes to appear to look like a regular civilian, she was sure he also didn't have any weapons on him self as well. Ghost had a sniper rifle with him resting against his knee.

"You look nice," Soap said over to her trying to make her feel better. She nodded to him, not saying anything. She instead looked out the window.

They arrived close enough to all recon to their locations. Ghost going to head up a large hill to be able to watch, Alejandro heading towards the house to find a way in, and Soap would stay with the vehicle.

"You do look nice. Didn't realize you were tattooed," Ghost said to her as she shut the door on the vehicle. Once more, she chose silence.

"Here," Ghost said breaking the dead air he had given her so she could speak if she had chose to. It was a small knife, maybe 2 inches long at the most. "I would hide it here," he said tapping on his own sternum.

"Between my breasts?" she quickly quipped, irritation and sarcasm still dripping from her words. Oh how she enjoyed being a smart ass tonight. She knew what he meant, but clearly looked for a reason to be difficult with him.

"Yes." he said bluntly, nearly dead panning, "the sheath has a clip that should be able to hook to the inside. "Put this in you ear once you're on the inside,"

he said handing her a small earbud, "its not an actual radio, but you should be able to communicate with me at least."

"Phenomenal," she said dryly, taking the items and walking past him, side stepping aggressively as she did.

"Hey," he said louder to her, making her stop and look at him. "It's guna' be ok."

This did something to her... it was his way of showing concern to her and she was being an absolute bitch. She felt guilt now.

Her eyes locked with him briefly before she broke eye contact, giving him a nod of acknowledgment and the cold shoulder all at once. She turned on her heel and headed towards the meeting point of the other escorts. She slipped the knife between the valley of her breasts, hooking it into the lace of the dress.

Finally, she saw a gaggle of girls heading up to the building. As she got closer, the building looked like a damn modern day castle to her. Tall, large with many floors, most open with glass. Least that should benefit Ghost. She joined the group, choosing to blend in. There was about 15 total, making her feel more confident in Isabella thinking she could mingle in with them.

The group of girls stood outside the fence as they waited for either for them to open or someone come get them. Y/N finally saw two guards approaching.

"Ladies!" they yelled greeting them, making a few of the girls wave and yell back. Y/N's heart was pounding, trying her hardest to appear calm and that she fit in... in a place she most definitely did not.

The gates open, no pat down or bag checks happening on any of them... She could of came better armed.

All at once, she realized she was exposed on the left outer flank of the group. "Senorita," one of the guards said to her, finger trailing her arm. "Look at you," he whistled, "You like pain do ya'?" He asked referring to her tattoos. She gave a hesitant smile, trying to mask that she wanted to break his hand, giving any attempt to act docile and feminine. Her pace quickened as she tried to stay with the group of girls so she had some sort of sense of security.

Little did you know Ghost saw the whole thing, trying his best at not picking the guard off. Disliking that his hand lingered on you that long.

He radioed out to the others you were in since you were unable to communicate with them.

Y/N was finally inside a large room where mingling seem to begin. She attempted to break away, finding what looked like a bathroom. There she placed the earbud in her ear, hiding it with a large piece of her hair, and turned it on.

"Beastie to Ghost," she called out.

"Make it in ok?"

"So much for not letting them touch me," her voice covered with disgust, shivering as she thought about the guards touch.

"I saw, was hard for me to not take him out right there."

She took that as a compliment, stashing it in her ego.

"Soap get in alright?"

"He did, just shortly after you. Sounds like they are going to take him down below."

"They haven't yet? Do I try to meet up with him?"

"Think you can move through the house without getting caught?"

"Most definitely, all of them seem.... distracted none the less." This caused a break in Ghost's radio traffic telling her he had found it amusing.

"Don't let them get distracted by you either." His tone low.

"What do you mean by that?" Her tone playful, again playing dumb with him. Opposite of his.

"You're stunning."

She stopped, her eyes wide, breathing hitched. She was not expecting something so bold from him.

"Are you flirting with me?" She asked finally finding her voice.

"Take it however you need to."

That bastard.

Now he was back his distant self. Still, this caused her to chuckle and shake her head. She left the bathroom, seeing another door that lead into the hallway. No guards, she thought to herself seeing as they were all busy talking to or looking at the other company she arrived with.

Quickly, Y/N power walked to the door into the hallway. Heading to the right knowing it would take her further into the residence towards the front where Soap would of entered. Taking her time, she slipped in between doorways and furniture when she would hear people get close. There, shortly after she saw Soap being taken into an elevator.

"I see him," she said quietly to Ghost.

"Good. His status?"

"Alive and well," the light of the elevator showing they were indeed heading to the floor below.

"Good, Alejandro was with him, not sure where he went."

''Can you tell if there is stairs nearby?" She asked worried she was going to lose her proximity to Soap.

"Keep headin' right, look to be a set that go the entire way up and down of the house."

"Who need's a fucking house this big?"

"A Cartel Lieutenant, come on Beastie, don't be so daft."

"Oh you're funny now too huh?"

"I'm funny all the time."

She had found the stairs and flipped off the direction Ghost would of been.

"Well hello to you too." Signifying he had seen her and her message for him.

She stood in the stairwell for a bit, before taking the chance to try to be quiet and sneak to where Soap was. Voices could be heard... one that of woman. The hallways she moved in was long, built with stone. No one seemed to be around, making her feel a bit braver heading towards the voices. She stopped when she could see two men packing what looked to be cocaine.

A gunshot was shortly heard, making her blood run cold. Y/N stood still trying to decide what had just happened. Next she could hear the door at the end of the hall opening and footsteps approaching.

Fuck, she thought turning and hightailing it back to the stairwell. Carefully, she peeked an eye around the corner as she would if she was clearing a room, sure she had no gun, but she knew how to not be seen.

There she saw a woman leading a man that was pushing Soap. She wanted to sigh, grateful that gunshot wasn't meant for him. The elevator doors closed, and then it dinged telling her it was moving. She ducked out of the stairwell looking at the top of the elevator, seeing that all the floors were lit up... She didn't know where he was going.

"Ghost," she quietly called out.

"You alright? Heard that gunshot," the fact that they had been silent for so long nearly killing him after hearing it.

"I'm fine, so is Soap. Bag is off his head, he is with a woman and man with terrible fashion taste. All the lights on the floors of the elevator are on so I don't know where they are going," she said moving up the stairwell again.

Ghost was bouncing back and forth radio frequencies, and trying to locate the others through the glass. She started moving faster, at the top of the first floor.

"He's on first floor with Alejandro. The man with the terrible fashion taste," Ghost said to her as he was leading up to something else he was going to say.

"Go on," Y/N said waiting, following Soap and Alejandro as they all moved around on the first floor.

"His name is Diego. He has a key card for El Sin Nombre, think you can get it from him?"

"Where is he?"

"Second floor on the ofrenda."

"On it," she said heading back to the stairwell to get to the second floor.

A couple guards taking their post and moving down the hall altered her. She held her breath letting them move past her while she hid on other side of the wall. Then she opened the door and snuck into where Diego was standing.

"Well, what do we have here?" He asked him seeing her enter the room.

Fuck, she thought to herself for the second time tonight.

"Are you lost, chica?" he asked approaching her.

"Was sent up here to you," she lied trying to find a way through this.

"By who?"

"Not sure, was just told to come find you, the guards helped me." She said trying to sound sweet and innocent.

Diego stalked her, making her feel dirty under her black dress. He stood before her, his smile menacing.

"So little," he said in Spanish. "Whores aren't allowed up here, but I bet you're so tight I'll make the exception." Her heart hit the bottom of her stomach. His hand was reaching to play with her hair, making her heart beat faster. He was going to see her earpiece. By the twist in his face, she knew he did. He reached for his holstered gun. Her hands reached into the dip of her chest, pulling the knife out and ramming into his throat before he could get his gun out.

His face was shocked, hands running up to his throat, blood pouring out onto her hands. She pushed harder into his neck, grunting as she did, his body falling to the ground. Pulling the knife out, she stabbed him in the neck on the other side of where she just had to be sure he was dead.

"Beastie, you alright?"

"Thank you for that knife. Diego is down."

"Good girl," his voice rumbling with pride.

Oh, God. She thought intently. What was it going to take for him to say that to her again. Y/N search Diego's pockets, finally finding the key card everyone was looking for.

"You want to buy a house in Las Almas? Just so you know... the home owner did die in it so I'm sure you'll get it for a hell of a deal."

There was no break in the traffic this time, she heard the low chuckle he had. "You're dark sweetheart."

Jesus Christ. That's all it took? Some dark humor? She'd write that down so she would remember.

"Got your key card," she said wiping her hands and the card on the rug getting rid of Diego's blood.

"Soap is waiting at the bottom of the deck, get it to him," Ghost grumbled. Silently, she moved around the corner and outside, seeing Soap, she carefully dropped the key card off the veranda to him. She hung off the side, giving Ghost a good look at her.

"Good job, Beastie," Soap said smiling at her as he caught the card heading around.

"Get to the roof," Ghost told her. Soap already sprinting in the direction of the elevator.

Her blood ran cold from yelling. Diego's body had been found. She glanced up at the direction Ghost would be, quietly thinking about what she was going to do.

Her hands gripped the side of the deck she threw the keycard down. She could jump, or try to get to the elevator or stairs on the floor she was on. More then likely they were already crawling on the floor below her too. She looked up. That was the last level above her, above that was the roof. That's where she needed to be. She started to climb the oferanda that was above her, getting her closer to where she needed to be.

"Cheeky girl." He muttered to her.

She couldn't pay attention to it this time, too busy pulling herself up.

"Puttin' on quite the show."

Y/N snorted, she was sure she looked fucking ridiculous in the black boots and black dress, scaling the side of the building. With her strength she hoisted herself up and inside, this level sounding less chaotic already.

"Wish I'd of grabbed a gun."

"My knife not good any more for ye'?"

"Think I might need more then that."

"Got you covered for now. Go find Soap and Alejandro."

Carefully she rounded the corner, finding Soap and Alejandro in front of two double doors.

"Beastie." Soap said whispering to her, handing her a pistol he found.

"Did you tell him to give me a gun?"

"Told you I had you covered."

She smiled.

Soap and Alejandro had a camera under the door, Soap watching and listening. Y/N chose to provide security and coverage in case anyone came in.

"No fucking way," Soap whispered

"What is it?" She turned her head to the side to listen to their conversation.

"The sicaria I met is El Sin Nombre. Valeria."

"Valeria. You sure hermano?"

"Yes."

"Graves, were moving in." Alejandro said into his mask.

"Check."

"Ghost?"

"Ready."

Y/N raised her gun prepared to clear the room as Soap opened the double doors.

Quickly she dropped two before taking cover and letting them fire in return. Soap leaned around the corner and took the other out allowing them to head out towards the roof.

Graves was already there, the helo approaching giving her commands. Finally she dropped to her knees, letting Soap cuff her. She stood back under the awning let it all pan out.

Once she saw them boarding the helo, Y/N turned and started to head down and out. The helo was way too crowded for her liking and someone needed to get the truck back anyway.

She tried to be mindful, but the house seemed vacant, everyone dispersing after the helo moved in along with the rest of the Shadows.

"What are you doing Beastie?" Ghost asked.

"You didn't go back with them?"

"No, saw you go inside, told them to get her out. What are you doing?"

"Heading for the truck."

"I'll meet you out front."

Her eyebrows raised, she really figured Ghost would make them come get him. But sure as shit, there he was not far off from the residence waiting for her.

He pulled forward, saving it so she didn't have to walk so far. Opening the door, she plopped into the passenger seat, and groaned. She was exhausted.

"You did good." His eyes were on the road, speeding through town back to the base where she was being held.

"Thanks." she muttered quietly. "Thanks for the help."

"I didn't have to help you. You did fine."

"You navigated me. Gave me the knife."

"You'd of managed."

So he was back to this... Chatty on comms and quiet out of work. She looked out the window, hand already on the door handle seeing the helo getting ready to land in front of the trailer Valeria would be kept in.

Y/N and Ghost both watched it land, El Sin Nombre getting out on her own accord, following Graves and Alejandro to the trailer. Y/N opened the door on the trailer so they could all enter.

"Have whores doing your work now too?" Valeria asked Alejandro as she glanced Y/N up and down.

"Watch your fucking mouth," Y/N warned.

Valeria was stunned needless to say Y/N spoke Spanish to her, and that she was brave enough to threaten her.

"Such a pretty girl with a courageous mouth. Covered in blood with all those tattoos." She cooed and made a tck noise like it was a disappointment to her. "Should come to my side, I won't make you work like these pigs do."

The men's attention bounced back and forth watching the two females verbally spar with each other like it was a tennis match.

"I don't think you are in much position to be offering anything right now. I'd shut the fuck up and listen if I were you."

Y/N could tell Ghost was impressed from the short snort of air he released out, satisfied with her answer to Valeria seeming as it did in fact shut her up for the time being.

Graves began asking questions making Y/N learn that Valeria and Alejandro knew each other from being in the Mexican Army together. Valeria continuously running her mouth to the poor Colonel. Valeria had betrayed Alejandro and his men...

It went back and forth for awhile. Ghost seemingly tired of the deflection Valeria was giving.

"You're a narco harboring a terrorist."

"Terrorism is good for business. It is insurance."

It was here where Y/N was starting to understand. If there is terrorism going on, no one pays attention to the drug running. Alejandro had not caught on, asking her what that even meant.

It was here Valeria started yelling at him, making Y/N patience snap. She went to step forward, Ghost's arm coming out to stop her. Graves reached around and pushed Valeria back into her chair, making her stop yelling. "As long as there is a war on terror, there will be no real war on drugs. To find your so called terrorist and your missiles, you need me." She said smugly. And then she mocked Alejandro, "To prevent bloodshed."

"Fucking cunt," Y/N said quietly, more for herself. Ghost looking at her out the corner of his eye, a warning.

"I'm not doing this," Alejandro said.

"Doesn't change anything." Soap countered.

"It changes everything! Fuck! Don't make a deal with her, it won't end well." He turned to leave, upset and angry.

Y/N used this to leave as well, tired of having to keep her temper in check. She would call Laswell and notify her what had happened.

"Good bye pretty girl!" Valeria called out to Y/N. Y/N shook her head, knowing Valeria was using this for bait. She headed to her room to grab fresh clothes to change into after a shower and grabbed her phone. She would call Laswell as soon as she was clean from Diego's dried blood on her skin.

prev.

next.

#cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #simon ghost riley #mw2 #simon riley #beastie #ghost #call of duty mw2 #call of duty #ghost x reader #simon x reader #simon #simon riley x you #love story #cod #modern warfare 2 #ghost call of duty #cod mw ghost #ghost cod

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duplicitywrites · 1 year

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thank you @joeys-piano for inviting me to do this! happy holidays and a happy new year to you 🌹🌹

rules:

post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular),

your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year,

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year,

your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year,

and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!

tagging: @cindle-writes @clarasghosts @crowcrowcrowthing @dividawrites @itsevanffs @latteloves @louveclaviere @phantomato @the-paper-monkey @vivantesopales or anyone else who wants to do this!

top five listed below, and everything else under the cut. nothing is in any particular order, but i do think the WIPs are probably the most interesting ones...

FIVE WORKS:

okay, this was a hard choice. if i spent some more time on it, i could probably change my answer a million times. but if i had to rescue five fics from a burning house, i hope it would be these ones(?)

the eternal flame (21,925 words) | WIP

Harry raising Tom is a dynamic i LOVE to explore, and this is my latest go at it. there will be another new one in 2023, you can bet on it

Fight Fire with Fire (14,275 words) | Complete

this is just chaotic fun LMAO and bottom tom, always a treat 😌💕

Terms and Conditions May Apply (16,822 words) | WIP

first person POV! retired voldemort! and some of the funniest jokes i've ever written. idk what is wrong with me when i write this story but i hope it happens again

We Still Have Time (9,053 words) | Complete

other people changed my mind about this one so it gets an honorary spot for that reason 💖 not to mention blood, sweat, and tears went into writing this 😭

sweet everything (1,360 words) | Complete

tomdric! beloved! i find myself really enamoured with them and with second person POV. this work has a lot of phrasing that i'm proud of.

FOUR WIPS:

have some WIP! some of these have proper summaries, some don't. we get what we get and we don't get upset, etc 😭

mary (working title) | fem!tom riddle x harry potter

Troubled young women have a tendency to marry men like their fathers. At least, that is what Tom had been told. What they never told her was how, exactly, the union of her parents had come to be. Or: Tom Riddle meets Harry Potter. She decides she has to have him, no matter the cost.

apotheosis | harrymort, pov draco malfoy

Growing up side by side with Harry, Draco learned two very important things: One, Voldemort was a god, terrifyingly monstrous and more powerful than any wizard on the planet. And two, Harry Potter was his.

tempered in darkness | harrymort, vee wins AU

working summary: harry is chosen from a lottery pool to have his dirty blood purged by lord voldemort

like his father (working title) | harrycest, mod!harry

“Are you—my dad?�� You open your mouth to say no. You should say no. James Potter is long dead and not even time travel can fix that. But all your life, you’ve been told how much you look like your father. And now, looking into your own eyes, you couldn’t bear to see them disappointed. “You look like me,” Harry adds in a mumble, as if he’s trying to convince himself. “Yeah,” you croak, dropping to your knees and taking the boy’s tiny hands in your own. “Yeah, Harry, I’m your dad.” You sway closer, brushing the child’s messy bangs aside, and place a kiss to the left of your famous lightning scar. “You can call me James.”

THREE IMPROVEMENTS:

i have learned to take my time with writing! i've done a lot more editing this year than i have in the past, painstakingly scrapping a lot more words than i used to. but i believe the end results are better and i'm happy with almost everything that has been posted this year 💕

i'm not sure if this can be stated as an improvement, though i'm sure some people will beg to differ, but i started writing more smut this year LOL

simply put, more writing = better 😌 practice doesn't make exactly perfect but it does produce visible results!

TWO RESOLUTIONS:

i don't like making resolutions, but here are some general ones i shall try to abide by

to write only what i am passionate about

finishing what i can, and accepting the rest as they are 😌

ONE LINE:

okay this one is just impossible lmao. i wrote so much and i have more that i haven't even posted, so i am going to list a bunch and maybe someone can tell me which one is the best

He has no urge to kill what has already been buried. (the eternal flame)

It feels fair, then, that Tom Riddle will be both the love of his life and the aching close of it. (Hallows, Not Horcruxes)

Comments like this reminded Harry why he sometimes had to pay attention to Tom even when he didn’t want to. (2 Tame 2 Boyfriend)

"[...] If someone came into this house to murder us, I would let the murderer kill you, and then, once I was sure that you were dead, I would kill the murderer." (Terms and Conditions May Apply)

For the first time in his cold, unfeeling life, Tom hoped that Dumbledore was right and there was an afterlife waiting for him so he could still rail Harry at least once. (Nevermind)

Lost in the richness of Tom Riddle’s gorgeously exceptional life, his world has never looked so bright. (resurfacing)

Tom Riddle was a hollow child turned hollow man; Harry was all the heart he had. (like angels put in hell by god)

#tag game

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knickynoo · 9 months

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Fic Author Self-Rec

Share five of your personal favorite works, then tag five authors to do the same. Thanks to @bg-sparrow for the tag!

Harborage

Harborage: shelter; refuge Marty spends the weekend with the Browns, who have settled permanently in early 1986. While there, he's forced to deal with the impact of his travels through time.

I have a feeling that no matter how many fics I write, this one will always be the most special to me. It started out with one scene I had stuck in my head (which was written out long before I worked out the actual plot and specifics) and turned into a ten-chapter story that garnered more attention and kind comments than I ever could have imagined. I loved crafting this little post-trilogy world and exploring the time-travel baggage Marty is left with after his adventures. I had a particularly fun time working Clara, Jules, and Verne into it.

2. Despite the Distance

On October 2nd, 1982, Doc entered his garage to find a trespasser who ended up becoming his best friend. But when a mishap with a new invention lands him in an altered 1986 where that meeting never occurred, he's faced not only with figuring out how to set the timeline right but also with the reality of the influence his friendship had on Marty.

A nearly 60,000 word, 17-chapter fic that spawned from this ask I'd gotten about how a BTTF version of "It's a Wonderful Life" would go. I didn't even have anything of value to say to that ask, but it caused the concept to stick in my head, where I continued to roll it around for several weeks. And while it ended up branching away from the initial "It's a Wonderful Life" concept, it did end up being a story where Doc gets to see what Marty's life is like without him.

Creating this altered, "tougher" version of Marty was my favorite part of the whole process, and getting to see him form a tentative friendship with Doc in such different circumstances was such a fun thing to tackle. I still have no idea who sent me that ask, but if you see this post: thank you. This story was challenging and emotional and a blast to write, and I'm so pleased at the way it's connected with people.

3. So, Your Brother's Befriended a Mad Scientist

Working as assistant for the town's most mysterious inventor isn't exactly a job Dave would've expected Marty to get, but it sure is an interesting one.

My most recent fic! Have you ever wanted to see a fic about Doc and Marty's friendship written entirely from Dave McFly's point of view? No? Well, I wrote it anyway. And I loved every second of it. Dave is a wonderful big brother, and I'm already looking forward to utilizing him more in the future.

4. In Case of Emergency

Who else is a kid supposed to call for a late-night rescue?

Perhaps my laziest summary, but one of my favorite one-shots. A little slice of life in which Marty decides to go to a party, immediately decides "this is bogus," and calls Doc to come pick him up. A lovely little look at their dynamic and the trust Marty places in his best friend. Also featuring: Doc having an entire conversation with his dog.

5. The Real You

Alex gets ready for a date with Ellen and, in typical fashion, is a nervous wreck. Good thing Mallory is there to provide some words of wisdom.

I really struggled with what to put in this final spot, but I'm going with my one and only (for now) Family Ties fic. Writing Alex is intimidating, but I enjoyed putting this together and being able to include some nice sibling relationship moments between him and Mallory. I've got a bunch of notes on additional FT one-shots that I want to write at some point. I'm so used to writing Doc and Marty at this point, and it's nice to have all these other characters to write about and Put In Situations.

I'm going to leave this open to anyone who wants to take the opportunity to talk about some of their favorite fics they've written :)

#tag game #nikki's fics

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recurring-polynya · 1 year

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Fanfic Round-up 2022

Well. I survived 2022. Sometimes that's all you can say.

It was my worst writing year on record, by far. I posted 199,638 works this year, which sounds pretty good, but a huge chunk of that was written in 2021. A more honest estimate puts me at 113k or possibly even more like 103k. :/

Anyway, so what did I do?

Well, I spent the first part of the year posting What We Do with Our Hearts, which is the aforementioned big chunk of workcount I did in 2021. Overall, I feel like it was well-received, especially for being a story about a guy's not-great relationship with his grandfather. It never got a whole lot of kudos compared to hits, which is perplexing to me-- I don't know if started it and didn't like it, or people just forgot or what. I got lots and lots of comments on it, tho, so I know that the people who liked it really liked it, and that's all that really matters.

I also did a couple of short stories for Rukia's birthday, which you can find in chapters 2-4 of my anthology fic, Squad Six is Jerks, vol III. The first is about Rukia and Ichigo trying to talk about their love lives like the idiots they are, and the second two are continuations of some of my more popular AUs, the transcendentally stupid Rukia and Renji join Squad 11 much to the dismay of Byakuya's blood pressure AU, and a modern AU where Renji is a tattoo artist and Rukia is his high-powered businesswoman client (more about this later).

a jackrabbit underneath isn't a very happy one. I always thought there was an extra dimension of Awful to that Academy-training-trip-gone-nightmare story, in the sense that Rukia and Renji say some unkind things to one another shortly before Renji departs, and I wanted to poke around at that bruise.

ohhhhhhhhh, I wanted to badly to finish a little in love this year, and I worked on it a bunch and didn't feel particularly good about it and gave. I did write one single interlude chapter, which was about Rukia coming to live with the Kuchiki, except in this AU, her sister is there, dying. I sure was a ray of sunshine in the early part of this year!

I should back up actually, because that's not exactly true. I spent a lot of the spring on a sequential art project, my Soul Society Tattoo Artist AU, which wasn't exactly fanfic, but it took up some of the same space in my brain. There's a tattoo artist-related subplot in What We Do with Our Hearts, and I think I was looking back at it and realized that I had missed a prime opportunity to do a Tattoo Artist AU that took place in-universe, in the sense that it's all still in Soul Society, but thru a series of Hisana-related twists, Rukia and Renji never met in Inuzuri, Renji never made it to Shin'ou, and becomes a tattoo artist, instead. I mean, there is a fanfic part, two entirely separate fanfic parts, actually, none of which I actually posted. It was probably the most fun thing I worked on this year, and I hope to pick it back up again eventually.

I guess I did some short stories, too, this year? I wrote a little present for @fluffnflightillustrations that takes place in her Princess-Knight AU. I did a prompts even around May, where I got people to suggest "What if?" scenarios. You can find them in my what if requests tag, or they are collected in Chapters 6-13 of Squad Six is Jerks, vol III.

Okay, now we're back up to the summer where I failed to finish a little in love. I eventually gave up, because it just wasn't happening, and I picked up that Modern Tattoo Artist AU again, and tooled into an actual story, this could be permanent, you know. It is complete, I finished it up right before Christmas. I've always wanted to write a romcom, and now I can say I have done it. It's a pretty cute story, I guess, and I would probably like it more if someone else had written it. I'm not sure if it's because it's a modern AU, which I like to read but feel weird about writing, or if it's because I wrote it in an as-I-went format instead of writing the whole thing out, but I got almost zero sense of satisfaction after finishing it, which was...frustrating. I'm glad other people liked it, at least-- statistically, it's one of my most popular fanfics by nearly every measure. Figures.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, I wrote wherever is your heart, i call home, a porno about the joys of married people late night shower sex.

Edit, b/c I forgot: I also wrote a couple of short stories as part of the Bleach Returns! event in October, to celebrate the return of the anime! There was the Renji's Bad Tea: the Origin Story, and Happy Squad 10 Day, To Those Who Celebrate.

What an incredibly strange year!

I've spent the last two weeks or so in an absolute rage about how much I hate my own writing and how disappointed I am in myself, but, jeez, writing all that out, it feels like more than it was. I dunno. My resolution from last year was to have more fun writing and...I dunno. I feel like some of that was fun, but there was also a lot of making myself miserable, and then hardly having anything to show for it.

Anyway, I've decided that 2023 is not going to be a writing year. That's not to say I'm not going to do any writing, but I'm gonna put myself under any pressure, and if I don't write anything... well...¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe I've written enough. Mostly I just want get back to some of my projects that I've been neglecting. I really want to pick up the next part of Heart is a Muscle again, and I'm feeling a little kinder about what I managed to write of a little in love last summer. Finishing either of them would be amazing, but I'd honestly be happy to just make a little more progress. Anyway, every year doesn't have to be a writing year. I'm hoping to have an art year and a houseplant year and my-volunteer-job year and maybe do some redecorating in my house year. If some writing falls out as a byproduct, that's great, but if not, that's fine, too.

#my writing #year-end roundups

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shonenkun309 · 1 year

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A/N : wassup? How are you? Hope you have a nice day my sweet potatos. This chapter could be a bit of a tricky, plus I noticed I overwrote it, if I hadn't noticed I would have posted a chapter of 16k+ words, so I checked my calculations and decided to split it up. I also made sure that the most exciting things will happen separately rather than being crammed into one chapter. The good thing is, I'm going to try to post the next chapter after this one after I sort things out and everything. I hope you will enjoy.

𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑭𝒖𝒏 ~𝑺𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒏~

Chapters : 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 , 10 , 11

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 12

...At headquarter...

Kyonosuke : "I have reviewed the incidents recently and they seem to be similar to what was happening in the Red-Eyes incident."

Aizen says after getting to the point after Futaba, Koga and Kuya arrive at the headquarters and discuss the latest news on the incident.

Kyonosuke : “Even your school was among the places where these incidents happened, right?”

Futaba : "Exactly."

Kyonosuke : “Anyone who has fallen victim to this phenomenon has been put under surveillance by the Meiji government for the time being, we don’t know who or what is going on in the first place and that is why I summoned you, Miss Saotome. We hope you will lend us your strength this time.”

Aizen added and looked at the trio, Koga returned the look with narrowed eyes as if he was disturbed by what Aizen said, Kuya on the other hand didn't care what was said in the first place.

Futaba : "I've been waiting to hear you say that, Major Aizen. I'm ready to do whatever it takes for the capital, as I almost fell victim to this phenomenon.”

It seemed as if Aizen and Futaba were the only ones in the room and no one else, then she started telling Aizen what Kuya and Ginnojo had faced at the pond and the tower, also mentioning what she had seen near the riverbank that night and how similar the situations were.

Kyonosuke : "Second Lieutenant Oyama told me that you were near the river for some unknown reason, and also told me that you believed it was some kind of Ayakashi but...do you have any proof of that?"

Futaba : "We don't have any definitive proof of that, but we're sure of it."

Kyonosuke : "It seems that all routes are blocked on our side so we have no choice but to return to the patrols, just as we used to do with the wraiths issue."

The three of them weren't surprised by what Aizen said and expected things to come to this, and without any extras, they decided to move out of the headquarters.

Kuya : "Do we really have to go on patrols? Again?"

Futaba : "I know you don't like doing this Kuya but...At least we finally got permission from Aizen to get involved in this matter."

Koga : "So much so that he told us to start tonight."

Koga said it coldly, indicating his dissatisfaction with the developments that took place, then he looked at Futaba, and she exchanged looks as well.

Futaba : "What is it?"

Koga : "You have to go home Futaba, Kuya and I will take care of the patrol tonight."

Futaba was surprised at his suggestion, direct with a serious expression, her eyes widening at what he said.

Futaba : "But...I've already sent my familiars to Aoi and Ginnojo to tell them I'm going."

Koga : "You almost fell victim to that damn entity twice, what if we run into it this time? Your very life will be in imminent danger if this happens."

Koga seemed concerned about what Futaba had faced during the pandemic so far, it seemed like Futaba had deliberately put herself in danger but it was all to find out the truth. Futaba looked into her lover's crimson eyes and then looked at Kuya later but Kuya showed from his expression that he wouldn't interfere this time, Futaba sighed later and looked at Koga again.

Futaba : "Okay, I'm not going, but only tonight."

She said after looking at Koga and announcing her condition, Koga smiled at her decision and showed his approval stroking her hair as he usually does and continue walking home. When they approached Futaba's house, they found that Nachi was standing in front of the door, waiting for them, and when he saw them, he started running towards them in a panic.

Nachi : "Futaba!! It's Fukajiro, she's gone!!"

Futaba : "WHAT?!!"

Futaba screamed after hearing the news, and her scream caught Koga and Kuya's attention so they decided to find out what was going on.

Koga : "Did something happened?"

Nachi : "Fukajiro, she disappeared from the house..."

Futaba : "How did this happen? I asked you to look after her until I get back!"

Nachi : "I did that, but she told me that she wanted to be alone for a while, when I wanted to check on her, I found that the room was empty."

Nachi explained the situation in his full attempts to clear himself, so Futaba sighed exhaustingly and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

Futaba : "I can't believe this, why now? And this late at night?"

Koga : "...Let's go look for her."

Kuya : "Huh...?"

Nachi : "What?"

Futaba : "Really?"

Koga : "Given the current situation, it isn't safe to walk around at this time, especially since she is a little girl so let's look for her."

Koga said after looking at Nachi and Futaba, then turned his eyes on Kuya and started walking.

Koga : "Let's go Kuya."

Kuya : "So, we're gonna forget about the patrol then?"

Koga : "Nope, we'll do both."

Kuya : "Oh man..."

After a discussion, Kuya ends it with these two words, but Futaba doesn't seem at all comfortable so she hastily grabs Koga's sleeve.

Futaba : "Koga, let me come with you."

After hearing this, Koga turns his head to meet her with shocked eyes, only to find that Futaba is looking at him seriously.

Koga : "But I asked you not to-"

Futaba : "I don't mean the patrol, I want to look for Fukajiro with you as well."

Kuya : "Maybe she's already home, no need to escalate things like that, you know."

Futaba : "No Kuya, it's not what you think, especially in her current state. So please let me go with you."

Koga : "Futaba..."

Koga tried to convince her to change her mind, but she faced his objections seriously.

Futaba : "Koga, I've known her for a while, going with you might speed up the search and might make it easier to find her."

Kuya : "After thinking about it, she's right...don't forget that the girl in question doesn't seem to like you. If Futaba comes with us, maybe we'll finish it quickly."

Kuya said in a lazy tone as if he wanted to rush it and end it, and Koga suddenly remembers that the child doesn't like him at all for some unknown reason, though her attachment to Futaba might make it easier for them...Koga sighs after a long thought and looks at Futaba with stern eyes.

Koga : "Alright, but stay by my side and don't go away."

Futaba : "Thank you, Koga!"

Futaba's face lights up after finally hearing his approval.

Nachi : "I- I'll come too, after all...I'm responsible for her disappearance."

...

It was cold and the city was eerily very quiet, the sound of wind filled the place and the moon was hidden behind extremely dense clouds as if the sky was going to rain at any moment. Futaba accompanied by Koga, Kuya and Nachi in his cat form over her shoulder are still searching around for a little trace of any activities from that ayakashi or even the child who suddenly disappeared, but to no avail.

Koga : "She saw everything?"

Koga said, surprised by what he heard. At that moment, Futaba decided to tell them what had happened. About the city and how a civilian fell victim to the mysterious ayakashi, and that Fukajiro witnessed what happened with her own eyes.

Futaba : "She was terrified, that was the first time I'd seen her like this since I first got to know her, so I decided to stay by her side until she feel better."

Koga : "It is normal for her to be afraid at this age, but the question remains...Why and how did she disappear?"

Koga didn't find an answer to his question and remained unanswered, and they continued on their way in silence.

Nachi : "Futaba..."

Futaba : "What is it, Nachi?"

Nachi : "I'm not sure if it's important what I'm going to say but...I noticed before Fukajiro disappeared that she was acting strange."

Futaba : "What do you mean?"

Nachi : "She was muttering incomprehensible things, maybe she was... apologizing or something?"

Futaba : "Apologizing...?"

Futaba never understood what Nachi had told her, or maybe Fukajiro was delirious because of what she saw maybe...But before Futaba tried to understand the situation-

Futaba : "..!!"

Her train of thought was interrupted by an ominous sensation that Koga, Kuya, and Nachi were feeling as well.

Futaba : "There!!"

Futaba says after she starts running towards the source, the others follow her and find themselves near Hibiya Park. The sound of the Wraiths filling the park, for Futaba, was an unpleasant feeling, besides, the closer they got the more they realized how many Wraiths they would encounter later, or so they thought. The team gets closer to the area to find that the Wraiths aren't alone, but they have company, they noticed that the company with the Wraiths was a group of tall entities, but their form was unknown, they confront the Wraiths and throw things at them that come out of their hands. This scene looked so familiar, so familiar that Kuya's eyes widened in shock at what he saw.

Kuya : "It's the same...the same one I saw near the pond."

Kuya said tensely, so they decided to hide in order to avoid attracting attention. Meanwhile, the Wraiths were outnumbering the entities, but it was not difficult at all, although there were three entities against a large number of Wraiths, the entities were quick to attack and banish the Wraiths with ease. Futaba and those with her are still watching, shocked by what is happening, which is that the number of Wraiths began to dwindle so quickly that only one Wraith is left trapped by the entities. One of the entities approached the Wraith, extended its hand forward, and galloped at great speed towards the Wraith to split it into two halves, and the Wraith disappeared completely, here Koga suddenly feels that his sleeves have been gripped tightly to find that Futaba has done so with her eyes still on the scene and a look of awe painted on her face.

Koga : "Futaba...?"

Futaba : "It's that..."

She said in a trembling voice as she looked at that entity that was holding a sharp spear on both sides and that was able to banish the Wraith with great ease, the same one that Futaba had seen near the riverbank that day...the looks of awe and fear were the result of the extent of the energy that Futaba sensed that was emanating from that same entity, she had never felt such an energy before.

Nachi : "I don't want to be the coward here but, I think it would be a good idea if we left quietly."

Nachi said while still shivering from the horror of what he saw, everyone agreed with his idea and decided to leave quietly for fear of clashing with the entities after what happened but...

Kuya : "Where did they go...?"

Kuya asked in a cautious tone, and they followed his line of sight to find that the entities had suddenly disappeared from the place, leaving no significant trace, the place was unimaginably quiet. So, instead of leaving, they decided to explore the place themselves with Nachi in his human form investigating the area.

Koga : "Their speed is insane, even as they leave."

Kuya : "Are you sure they are connected to what is happening to civilians in the capital?"

Kuya asked Futaba but he didn't get any answer from her, because she herself didn't know what to say, still confused by what she witnessed just now, but she also suddenly started looking around...

Nachi : "What're you looking for?"

Futaba : "There's no sand in here."

Koga : "What do you mean?"

Futaba : "They didn't leave any sand after they left, they do this when they leave the place completely but..."

Futaba took this step as a conclusion that if they leave sand behind, that means they are no longer here, but there is no sand here, which means...

𝑻𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅 ➡➡➡

@just-somehuman @the-bird-and-the-flute @kogasimp1 @ikeprinces-stuff

#arr fanfic #ayakashi romance reborn #ayakashi koi meguri #ayakashi koga #ayakoi #ayakashi kuya #koga kitamikado #arr ginnojo #ayakashi toichiro #ayakashi shizuki

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writeouswriter · 1 year

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hiiii sorry if this is Super weird !!! but i know some people look at their past writing n cringe a little yet also still love it a little but (n this goes out to anyone tht wants 2 answer too!) have u ever cringed at like. recent writing? bc i cannot 4 the life of me look at smth i wrote even seven months ago bc im just so embarrased..... do u or anyone else have advice on how u could overcome smth like this? i know cringe is dead be free n live ur life !!! but sometimes i cannot. help but just. Explode

Not weird at all! Though I'm not great with the advice personally, (clear and concise answers? Idk her), maybe someone else can help a little more as I have lots of lovely brilliant people following me!

But I definitely have cringed at some of my recent writing. I'm always going to cringe at some of my writing and be like what was I thinking, I can't write, while other times I'll be like, wow I actually can write. It's forever in flux. Sometimes, that's just how it is because even in the smallest intervals of time, you're constantly growing as a writer, learning new things every minute, every second, and with every new thing taken in, every new experience or reading or etc. under your belt, you see further into how the gears of writing turn, and occasionally that means you start to perceive more flaws in your own writing, whether real or imagined, because you're looking for them now, you're looking at the embroidery from behind with all the loose strings and stitches, you're looking at the clocktower from between the gears on the inside, watching them shudder and jolt a little unnaturally when most other people just see the face.

For recent writing, it's an especially tough beast because unlike writing from the further past, you're not far enough removed yet, so you still can't really look at it objectively, you're still stuck inside the clocktower, unable to see the view as an outside observer. So, maybe everything is going to look a little wonky regardless of whether it really is or not, and there's not much to do but keep learning and improving from it in the meanwhile, step back for a second, give it time and space, and be kind and patient with yourself as you take a walk around back to the front of the tower and see whether you can still see the gears and everything from there.

My analogies tend to get out of hand and may not be the most solid or helpful, so I'll drop that... but you feel me? Maybe you will still be cringing at it later, but that means you've come further as a writer and can pinpoint how to fix it/improve it or use the experience and observations for your new work, honing in on what exactly about it is making you cringe, maybe it's something with an easy workaround, or maybe with fresh eyes, you'll see it's not as bad as you thought and there's some good in there after all, maybe a mix of both.

Usually, it really is a matter of time. When I posted my first ao3 fanfic last year, I couldn't bear to look at it again, the thought of it made me sick. I had reread it multiple times at various stages to the point where I was just like if it's bad, it's bad, it's out there and there's nothing I can do now, and the thought of it haunted me, like people are gonna think the style is weird, it's ooc, it's this, it's that, etc., aah, but I reread it finally again last week and... it was fine. It was totally... fine. Meanwhile, another story I had been working on, I came back to it after a while and realized the dialogue was stilted and the prose repetitive, so I had to rework it, but that's fine too, no shame in that. It takes a while to find what works.

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble and repeat myself, and my keyboard keys are all sticking because I spilt milk on it the other day, rip, so yeah! That's all I can tell you personally, but if anyone wants to jump on and add something else, feel free! And I wish you all the luck in your writing quest! Take care.

#writing #writeblr #ask #writer things #my w key is in the worst shape i'm so sad gaah #s and a and e too are not doing great also caps lock why did my clumsiness forsake me #long post #i guess #writing advice #somewhat

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by-lers · 2 years

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Okay so first, this probably suck-ass and if so I'm so sorry, it's 5:43 in the morning right now and I just wrote this in one go so I don't expect it to be good anyway but whatever lol.

Mike & El/Jane - Hopper's cabin, Post S-4.

He knocks on the door three times, waits before a fourth and comes in upon hearing her voice, Mike hair is unkempt, wild curls flying in all directions almost as if he had spent the whole night with his hands harshly tugging at them.

He looks at her, fondness and sadness both seemingly battling in the midst of his dark brown eyes, she silently waves for him to come closer.

He sits besides her on the bed and takes a breath, then two and three, his head falls forward into his hands, a frustrated groan filling the air.

Jane frown and lean towards him, concern hitched over her soft features.

"Mike? What's wrong?" She ask, her lips pressed thinly together, a voice, reflection of her own, telling her that she knows exactly what's wrong resounding at the back of her head.

"El, I,...you know I do love you El, right?" He turns towards her with determination, his hands are closed into fists, they are trembling and mike try as hard as he can to not notice just how scared he is right now, because for all that both him and El needs to have this conversation he does not want to lose her.

Jane eyes narrow slightly and her whole body tenses, much like when one holds their breath for too long, though in a matter of second it becomes a sight long gone as the girl exhales and unconsciously tips her head to the right.

"yes, mike I know, you have told me during the piggyback" she sounds tired, somewhat resigned, the way a person is when they're speaking of something they don't particularly want to talk about.

Mike, for his part, feels as if he's on the edge of a cliff and about to throw himself over,...he think that this might be what he needs, after so long fighting over himself, to just...trust things would turn out fine for once and make the jump, to make a leap of faith.

"yes! yes I have, but El the thing is... The thing is that, what I said at the time, it, I don't think it was entirely true, I... I know most of it isn't."

Now Jane's frowning intensely and mike can see it coming from a mile away, her famous "friends don't lie!" and it's true, they don't lie or at least they shouldn't do so conscientiously

"Not that I was lying lying because I wasn't, I just, at that moment I hadn't realized that what I said wasn't true, i didn't know, I swear I didn't!" Mike blurts out earnestly, so earnestly that Jane find herself believing him.

" okay!" She respond softly and nod at him to continue

"I, what I said back then in a way it was both true and not true because, I was saying it while responding to something I thought you felt or was thinking, but it wasn't actually your feelings I was going off on, but someone else's and when I figured that part out and thought it through,...that's when I figured it all out!!"

El is confused, she is very confused, that sentiment is probably showing on her face, she thinks, because mike starts telling her of many things, starting with a painting she had apparently commissioned but actually hadn't and for a second she's even more confused before figuring out multiple things at once, as the boy monologue kept progressing:

Firstly, the famous painting she had told Mike about in one of her letters, the one will wouldn't let her see, had actually been for mike, and will had lied saying the painting had been from her and mike had apparently believed him at first, despite said letter, -but Jane knew that it was more due to the Mike instinctively believing will would never lie to him, than anything else-.

Secondly, she is pretty sure will has feeling for mike, because it would explain many, many things and she's also pretty sure her brother has a tendency to sacrifice himself, which, she really wished he didn't have and has a grand need to rid him of.

3) Mike's eyes are looking very shiny and enamored when talking about will.

In fact his voice seem to have gone really soft too, and he's not even just talking about the painting anymore, he's talking about meeting will on a swing set, about how meeting will was still the best thing he's ever done, that meeting El was great and he was really glad he did, but he doesn't think his life actually started the day he met her and he shouldn't have told her that back during the piggyback because it was really shitty not just to her but also to Will and he had apologized about it to him already but he thought he should do it again because Mike was pretty sure his life started the first time Will smiled at him as if he was someone precious to him, someone that made him feel safe.

Jane can see that Mike is starting to slightly panic -or a lot- because he can't seem to be able to stop talking about Will right now, except that's not quite true because mike has always been incapable of shutting up about Will, El doesn't think she would have enough hands to demonstrate just how many times she has seen this precise event occur when around mike, because he has a real talent in turning absolutely any and all conversation about trivial things into a "will conversation " as Lucas would say, often Dustin would answer that Will is exactly the same if only dialed down to about a 70% instead of Mike 200% and after having lived for 6 month with her brother she can and will say that it's entirely true.

Even more so, El would said that Will and Mike have always been different towards each other, as if the moment they lock eyes, they are the only being to exist in the world, even with how mike seemed to try really hard to concentrate all of himself on her when she was around so as to avoid the mere thought of will, which never really worked and perhaps mike had simply gave up on fighting himself and what he truly want and this is why they are even having this conversation and really how did she not realize this before, it is baffling to her to not have seen it before,....

Facing her, mike is standing very still, his thought are milling about in much the same fashion as the girl facing him and yes, maybe he is panicking or having a breakdown because he has stopped talking and El isn't answering at all and it's been five minutes, going on six not to add that he's fairly certain he's about to cry or scream or both.

"El?...El say something?" The long haired boy say shakily, his voice breaking on her name

"You're in love with my brother!....you want to date my brother?" Jane says looking him straight in the eyes.

Mike is choking, all concrete thought have left his brain, only rocks remain, one could even hear the wind sing inside of his brain if they were to strain they ears just a little more.

He clears his throat once, twice, his mouth as dry as a California summer, his ears keeps ringing and...if he's honest with himself which he really tries to be lately for a change, mike doesn't want to lie to El, because yes this is a break up conversation and in spite of everything and anything el is and always will be one of his best friends.

So, with his chocolate eyes shining even more, brimmed full with tears , he tells her

" yeah, yeah I do, I really want to El"

She looks at him, she smiles and she doesn't fully know why herself but... Jane is so proud, she's so proud of this boy, tall and gangly, somewhat awkward in his own skin much like many other teenagers out there, as she's found out in Lenora, this boy who's been hiding for so long and made so many mistake and is, despite the gut wretching fear, here, trying!

Mike is trying to make things right for her, for himself and she knows this, for will too possibly.

But Jane doesn't know how to express all of this yet, maybe she will one day but not yet and she doesn't want to say something wrong, doesn't want to hurt mike, who is the first friend she made -after that kind man who died because of her-, the first to have told her that she wasn't the monster and tried to give her an actual home and family and succeeded for the latter.

Mike looks at his ex-girlfriend, softly smiling at him, upon feeling a touch on his hands he lower his gaze to find her hands curling around his kindly and something unclench itself in his chest, it's exploding and freeing itself all at once with relief and such a deep sense of safety and love that he falls forward as if he had been chained his whole life and finally, finally he was free.

Quietly, as if afraid of disrupting the peace gently wafting around them, Mike burrows himself in her arms and slowly sways them from right to left, and this is quiet and beautiful, such a sweet moment between them that they start laughing and crying as they realize that a tension they weren't even aware was there fully left them, El push back from the hug and with a subtle smile on her face look back to Mike and says with a voice full of humor

"i dump your ass!" At those words mike let out a snort which kick-start him into a giggling fit that quickly spread to Jane.

And for a moment, Vecna doesn't exist anymore, the giant cross shaped gate or something which destroyed half of Hawkins and apparently started another apocalypse doesn't exist anymore, just them, two person who finally were honest with each other and themselves.

#byler is canon #byler #will byers #stranger things #mike wheeler #jane/el #el/jane hopper #elmike platonic besties #el and mike platonic soulmates #platonic elmike #byler's hivemind #it's probably bad i'm sorry #lol in advance because i'm not sure my heart can handle ot lol

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