#autistic spencer reid
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autistic!spencer reid x gn!reader
cw reader has an unspecified accent, autistic!spencer, just fluff !
“very fancy, em!” you smiled, admiring emily's new necklace.
“fancy.” someone repeated from behind you.
you and emily turned around to see spencer holding his coffee, wide eyed.
“fancy.” he said again, copying your tone of voice, smiling at the sound of it.
he repeated it again, small smile on his lips. you smiled back. you knew spencer was autistic, and had some vocal stims, including echolalia.
“sounds kinda funny in my accent, doesn’t it?” you giggled, repeating the word yourself, in an even thicker version of your accent.
“very fancy!” he said, copying your voice perfectly, now grinning.
“you guys are sickeningly adorable.” emily laughed, both of you blushing bright red.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader fluff#autistic spencer reid#autistic!spence
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thinking so hard about autistic spencer reid <3
#didnt see these in edits (yet) and had to film them as i was watching the eps lol#spencer reid#autistic spencer reid#criminal minds#im so very fond of him
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Do u see spencer reid as
1. Talkative towards u and shuts up during sex
2. Quiet towards u and babbles during sex
3. Talkative towards u always, including sex
4. Quiet towards u always, including sex
I saw u were wanting requests, and this isn’t necessarily one, but it’s been on my mind all day.
hi, thank you so much for this! I can talk about stuff like this for ages. I don't just do requests babe! I do thoughts and inquiries all day long. now, to Spencer.
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I personally think a mixture of 1 and 3. at first, it'll be one. all throughout the show he trying to tell the team fun lil facts, cool lil statistics, and they all shut him down!!!
"reid."
"im sorry." "for what?" "for asking."
like!! leave him alone!! so when it comes to you, the person who will always listen and care for his silly little babbles, he never shuts up!
always talking to you on the plane if u work w him, during coffee runs, late nights, everywhere! but, in the earlier times of your relationship, I feel like he'd be quiet during sex.
first you thought he was nervous, but you actually just quieted pretty boys' head!! no facts, no statistics, just a lot of soft huffs and quiet whimpers.
but, as time progresses in your relationship, he'd definitely get more vocal, with your encouragement!! praise, louder grunts, moans, groans, whines, pleas, you name it, he's expressing it. babbling about how good you feel, begging for you to keep going!
n if it's unserious sex with him (which it often is les be real), he'll attempt a lil bit of small talk, as if ur mouth isn't full of his dick rn. he just doesn't know what to do!! he doesn't wanna grab ur hair, that's too mean :((.
God, how I love yapper spence.
© LUST444MEN 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.
#christi's posts#anon₊˚⊹#‧₊🫧꒷꒦‧₊˚⋆lust444men#spencer reid smut#autistic spencer reid#spencer reid#yapper spencer reid#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid thot thoughts#aaron hotchner smut#derek morgan smut#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch x reader#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid x reader
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Autistic Spencer Reid
Happy Autism Acceptance Month, everyone! By request, my wonderful friends and I have taken on the daunting task of documenting the reasons why Spencer Reid is considered Autistic. Big thank you to you @spencer-reids-adventures and @foxy-eva specifically for their help. We hope everyone enjoys! This is not an exhaustive list.
Stimming/Self-Stimulatory behavior, including rocking/spinning in his chair, twiddling with his fingers, gripping sheets, bouncing his legs, biting his lip/tongue, rubbing his eyes, spinning pens, pacing (e.g., S6E12 "Corazon")
Averse to touch, dislikes hugs (S7E13 "Snake Eyes" & S11E11 "Entropy")
Explains multiple attempts at masking, including "being more conversational," (S2E19 "Ashes and Dust"), scripting conversation (S15E4 "Saturdays"), saying what people want to hear (S6E20 "Hanley Waters")
Verbosity - Difficulty recognizing when he's talking too much/speaking at inappropriate times (e.g., S1E16 "The Tribe" & S10E16 "Lockdown")
Began studying behavioral science to understand behavior that made him frustrated/confused (S11E22 "The Storm")
Averse to hosting/hanging out in his space; didn't invite his friends to his apartment for over 15 years (S15E9 "Face Off")
The only team member capable of proficient communication with other Autistic people (S6E16 "Coda" & S11E22 "The Storm")
He is referred to as Autistic by multiple characters, including a literal profiler, and does not deny or question it (S1E5 "Broken Mirror" & S8E3 "Through the Looking Glass")
Lack of social awareness, such as focusing on a convention while at a workplace shooter crime scene (S7E3 "Dorado Falls")
Various special interests, like Doctor Who (S6E16 "Coda" & S7E23 "Hit")
Literal thinking, such as focusing on scientific accuracy of a star-based fable (S5E13 "Risky Business")
Difficulty recognizing common phrases, such as the "sitting in a tree" song (S3E14 "Damaged") or jokes (S7E9 "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy" & S1E8 "Natural Born Killer")
Makes inappropriate references, such as to Derek's playboy behavior (S1E18 "Somebody's Watching") and Rossi's age (S7E13 "Snake Eyes")
Coordination/Spatial deficits (S1E17 "A Real Rain" & S8E6 "The Apprenticeship")
Hyperfocuses on a task to the point he doesn't notice his surroundings (S5E20 "A Thousand Words")
Unusual/hyper-specific pedantic language (S3E6 "Remembrance of Things Past")
Resistance to change, manifested as a luddite dislike of technology (S6E7 "Middle Man" & S8E4 "God Complex") and struggling with Gideon's death (S10E14 "Hero Worship")
He receives (apparent disability) accommodations to be in the field (S6E10 "What Happens At Home...")
Introverted, difficulty sharing emotions, even with his closest friends (S10E13 "Nelson's Sparrow")
Heavily bullied as a child (S3E16 "Elephant's Memory")
Difficulty making friends (S2E1 "The Fisher King Part 2")
Trouble with eye contact, which persists throughout the series
His mother is schizophrenic, which has a strong genetic link to Autism
Dislikes small talk (S8E3 “Through the Looking Glass”)
Enjoys memorizing lists (S7E11, “True Genius”)
Savant skills - eidetic memory and hyperlexia
Matthew Gray Gubler has also explained that, regardless of the canonical confirmation, he views and portrayed Spencer Reid as Autistic. Specifically, he stated:
"He's an eccentric genius, with hints of schizophrenia and minor autism, Asperger's syndrome. Reid is 24, 25 years old with three Ph.D.'s and one can't usually achieve that without some form of autism." (Note: Asperger's is an outdated term with Nazi origins, which is now referred to as a part of "Autism Spectrum Disorder" by most countries)
DISCLAIMER: I am Autistic, as diagnosed when I was a toddler. These thoughts are my own and shared for fun. If you disagree, please make your own post about it rather than posting them here. This was a labor of love for fans like me and those who love Autistic people and the characters like us. Thank you for respecting and understanding my boundaries!
Looking for more to read? Check out my Autistic headcanon posts for Penelope and Hotch!
Thank you everyone! 🌈♾️❤️
#spencer reid#autistic spencer reid#spencer reid autism#autism acceptance month#autism acceptance day#world autism day#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid headcanons#spencer reid character study#dr spencer reid
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Derek: How did none of you hear what I just said?!
Reid: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
JJ: I got distracted halfway through.
Emily: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
#chaoticbau#autistic spencer reid#adhd!jj#emily being emily#criminal minds#derek morgan#jennifer jareau#spencer reid#emily prentiss#cm#incorrect criminal minds#incorrect cm#incorrect criminal minds quotes#jemily
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I accidentally paused on this and I just-
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Autistic Spencer Reid
Before Autism Acceptance Month ends, I wanted to share a list of my autistic Spencer Reid headcanons! (I've been meaning to do this but have continuously forgotten haha.) Most of these are semi-rooted in canon, though others just felt right to me.
Can’t handle the feeling of the metal against his skin, which is why he wears his watch over his sleeve. (Noted Reid wears his watch over his sleeve in S2E9 "The Last Word," and it is further noticed in future episodes.)
Covers his ears whenever he’s on a call; due to auditory processing issues, the background noise will feel level with the audio from the phone. Even if the room is mostly silent, he still does it, partially out of habit, partially because it just makes him feel more comfortable (rooted in canon, first noted in S2E10 "Lessons Learned," noticed in multiple episodes).
Stims in several discreet ways such as pacing, spinning in chairs, and spinning pencils/pens. They're less noticeable, a more “normalized” way for him to stim. He doesn’t quite have the confidence to do stims as obvious as hand flapping in the company of those he isn’t familiar/comfortable with (rooted in canon, noticed in multiple episodes).
Background noise can feel equally as loud as inside noise, making it harder to focus (rooted in canon, first noted in S2E17 "Distress").
Routine is a must, and he expects that everyone else must stick to a routine as well. (S3E2 "In Name and Blood" Gideon doesn’t show up to his routine chess match with Reid, and he stays overnight in his office waiting to play–eventually falling asleep, still waiting.)
He says things directly, seemingly without filter. It can cause people to think he is being rude, but his intention is not to be rude. He’s stating what he believes to be an objective truth–a fact. (S3E8 "Lucky," he implies Morgan may not really believe in God, and the entire plane stares at him & in S7E13 "Snake Eyes," he makes a comment on Rossi's age that prompts a disbelieving response.)
Bright lights and loud noises are an absolute no. He expresses that “clubs aren’t his thing” (S4E9 "52 Pickup").
Hunger is a weird feeling for him that tends to go unnoticed, and he may forget to eat if not prompted. The rest of the team does their ultimate best to remind him to eat, and Rossi takes particular notice of the textures he likes and doesn’t like, in case restaurant outings are necessary.
Eating is also difficult sometimes due to sensory discomfort around textures and smells, leading to Reid avoiding meals. He can feel like he's going to throw up–and as a germaphobe, that is out of the question.
Suffers from light sensitivity due to sensory issues, which leads to migraines and discomfort. He carries a pair of sunglasses with him at all times to try and ward off the headaches. (S6E12 "Corazon")
Despises sand with a passion. He absolutely abhors it. If you ever take him to a beach, he refuses to take his shoes off. (S8E5 "The Good Earth," Reid explains to JJ that he doesn't like the beach.)
Struggles with over-stimulation and can get distracted by the tiniest thing, making it difficult to focus. (S8E10 "The Lesson," Reid explains to Blake that he is sitting in an isolated place because he cannot focus because of the background noise.)
Horrible spatial awareness–often trips over or into things. Walks into doorframes and doors often, along with the sides and corners of tables.
Is typically touch-averse and only allows touches from those who he is close to or if he initiates it.
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Season 1 Episode 4
[Morgan looks so done here and then Gideon looks like a proud grandpa lmaooo]
#jason gideon#autistic spencer reid#autistic headcanon#screencaps#screenshot#criminal minds edit#Criminal minds fandom#dr. spencer reid#Mgg#infodumping#infodump#Bro I'd listen to him for hours#s1e4#s01e04 “plain sight”#criminal minds season 1#1x04#derek morgan#moreid#kinda?#Criminal minds#spencer reid#free to reblog#Deescaps#aaron hotchner#mathew gray gubler
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yk how reid is heavily autistic coded? (might be canon i cant remember) maybe little reader having a meltdown and/or sensory issues and spencer understanding and helping them?
Too Much | Spencer Reid x Reader
a/n: I am not officially diagnosed with autism so if I’ve gotten anything incorrect please let me know and I’ll immediately fix it. this also got so much less agere then I intended it to be
warnings: sensory overload, anxiety, stimming, reader going non-verbal, crying, mentions of Reid & reader being autistic
───°˖✧✿✧˖° ───
-
It was too much, everything was too much. There’s the buzzing of the board Garcias presenting on, the click of the clock on the wall, Emily tapping her pen relentlessly against the round table, Rossi keeps looking at you and you don’t know why- everything is too much.
“Y/n?” You startle at Reid’s soft voice from your left, his expression just as gentle as his voice.
“Y- yeah?” You mange but just barely, talking feels like so much work and especially with your little space clawing at your mind.
“You okay?” You huff at Spencers concern, why would he think you’re not okay? Even if you feel like running out of this room, you have to be okay, you have to stay calm and organized at work, it’s the rules.
The rules you have made up for yourself as you’ve seen how your team can lose it a little bit, how they’re so open to be who they are around one another, but that’s not you. You are collected and treated with respect, not someone that freaks out over Emily’s pen hitting the table over, and over, and over and-
“Please stop doing that!” You shout, tears springing to your eyes when you realize that you just yelled at Prentiss. Her face is one of shock as she drops her pen quickly against the table, you clasp a hand over your mouth in horror, you can’t believe you just yelled at Emily, one of your best friends.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get so upset- I’m sorry, it’s just- I um- I can’t- it’s-.” You give up on trying to explain yourself and instead slide down to the floor.
This is unprofessional, you note, but it’s helping the slightest bit. Helping the buzz of stimulation die down just the smallest possible amount when you start to rock in place, tucking your head into your knees and wrapping your arms around yourself in hopes that none of your harmful stims come out.
“Hey, can you look at me?” Reid appears in front of you, he helps block out some of the light and you can recognize that the team must have left with how little murmurs there are.
“There you are. Feel like you can talk?” You give a hesitant nod, of course you can talk, physically, it just might take all of your energy right now, Spencer seems to understand this as he hums along.
“Okay, you don’t have to. Is it too sensory overloading in here?” A firm nod as yes, yes that’s exactly it, he gets it.
“We can go somewhere quieter if you’d like, I’m sure Em wouldn’t mind giving us her office for a bit.” Oh god Emily’s probably so mad at you, she’s probably writing you up for yelling at coworkers, for having an outburst during the work day, she’s probably-
“Hey don’t do that, everything’s okay and Prentiss totally understands. Trust me, I’ve done worse than yell at her when I was overstimulated.” You cock your head at Reid, you’ve never seen him in a state of overstimulation or ever heard him mention things of the sort.
“I’m autistic, the team knows and I figured it was time you did too.” A weight lifts off your chest, Spencer smiles when the tension drops from your shoulders. You quickly point to yourself, hoping Spencer will understand that you’re also autistic.
“You are too? I gotta tell Garcia, she made me a whole sensory toy basket when I told her, I’m sure she’d do the same for you.” You smile to Spencer, the buzzing isn’t so bad now, there’s no eyes on you that you don’t want there and everything seems to be calming down.
Though your little headspace is coming in strongly, as it does after meltdowns or shutdowns, it gives your body a way to recharge. Work isn’t an ideal location for your regression, pushing it away doesn’t seem to be working either.
“Let’s go to Em’s office.” Spencer must pick up on something shifting in you since he offers his hand up for you to grab, something you know he doesn’t do often, you take it gratefully and let him lead the two of you down to Prentiss’ empty room.
-
“Now nobody can come bother us.” Spencer smiles over his shoulder, triple checking that the office is locked and it’s just you two.
“Do you need anything? Sometimes Garcia will put a show on her laptop for me when I’m coming down from a meltdown, I can go grab my computer if you want. Or I have a few books in my bag.” He starts to rummage around in his satchel, pulling out four books that have all been throughly read through based off how worn out they are.
“Wanna read one?” Your headspace doesn’t feel nearly big enough to read one of those books, the font is too small, pages filled with so many words that you can’t even pronounce correctly on a good day.
“I’ll read to you.” Reid decides when you just stay silently staring down at the books.
He gets situated in the corner of Emily’s couch quickly, sifting through the books til he finds one he thinks is the best choice, then Spencer opens up an arm for you. It takes a second before you fully comply, you know Reid isn’t huge on physical touch, but he lets you settle into his side.
“Chapter one…” Spencer begins, you lay happily against him, no more anxiety in your chest, all you feel is security in Reid’s arms as you listen to his soft voice.
#jj writes#criminal minds agere#caregiver!spencer#little!reader#spencer x reader#spencer reid#autistic reader#autistic spencer reid
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♡ autistic Spencer Reid ♡
♡ Spencer, who never wears matching socks, it just doesn't sit quite right in his mind
♡ Spencer, who will eat his comfort food for weeks on end when other foods just don't feel right
♡ Spencer, who wears his noise cancelling headphones on the jet back from an exhausting case, trying to hold off an impending shutdown as long as he can
♡ Spencer, who flaps his hands when talking about something that gets him excited, smiling like an idiot when someone actually cares about one of his special interests
♡ Spencer, who doesn't always understand the comments his team makes
♡ Spencer, who studied behavioral analysis so he could understand neurotypical people better in an attempt to fit in
#i love him your honor#i want to put him in my pocket#pookie#spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds spencer reid#autistic spencer reid#actually autistic#autism#bau#sam creates#sam writes
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autistic reid has my heart & I barely even know what to say about it. thinking about sharing fidget toys w him in the bullpen. like a late night working together & needing to self regulate so you both kinda mutually stim together. vocal stims or being comfortable enough to fidget w each others hands & whatnot. or just letting reid infodump without interrupting him ;-;
yesyesyes. i love all of these ideas so much an will write more on them! also with this i just had to info dump a bit about flowers, and floriography cus i love them!!!
autistic!spencer reid x autistic!reader
“Did you know that Dahlias are often referred to as the queen of the autumn gardens?”
You shook your head, playing with his slender fingers absentmindedly as you listened to him ramble.
“They’re called that because they survive long into the fall months, unlike many other flowers.”
You nodded along, your eyes wide as you absorbed the new information. You were both sitting, cross legged, next to each other, rambling back and forth and gently stimming, finally calm and content after a long day. You had gone non verbal at this point, but you were happy just to listen to Spencer ramble and info dump as much as he wanted.
He continued to tell you about the flowers, and their meanings, lifting his hands away from yours to flap them excitedly as he became more animated in his description.
You smiled softly as his happiness. You loved to see him like this, completely relaxed and joyful, able to say whatever he wanted without being interrupted.
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Goob:) Click for detail.
#autistic spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid fanart#matthew gray gubler#gubler#gublernation#gublerland#mgg#mgg fanart#reid fanart#criminal minds fanart#coloured pencil drawing#reid portrait
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someone asked for more thoughts on spencer reid but I fr posted it before I was ready. so to the person who said "I need more of your thoughts on spencer reid", here ya are! <3 fluff, thas it.
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he likes loves sitting with you on the plane, teaching you chess if you don't already know it, playing with you in chess, simpling his moves so the game lasts longer, playing poker w u and folding with a four of a kind in his hand knowing you only have a two pair, purely just so he can see your cheesy smile as you scoop all the pretzels and m&ms into your bowl, giggling and boasting that you "once again beat the spencer reid at poker" and teasing him that he shouldn't be banned from casinos in Las Vegas if he always plays as bad.
I feel like when he's around u, his world just completely stops and he drops everything if he can. you work with him? he's always trying to get hotch to team you guys together, just so he knows your safe. he'd hate for anything to happen to u!! he'd simply blame himself.
you look tired with all your paper work? he's bringing your exact coffee order he obviously memorised, and he's taking half of your files when you're not looking so he can help!! he an act of service and quality time kinda guy - I mean, he works in the fbi, that's so obviously acts of service.
Spencer is suspicious for a moment but he will always turn back to you, trying his hardest not to smile at your happy face as you eat your winnings, playing the sore laser and grumbling a "I'll win next time", simply hoping you don't see the crack of a smile as he boxes up the cards.
whoevers next to him(usually Rossi or derek) will give him a little "I know what you just did" smirk, glancing between you two.
when spence goes "??what?" upon seeing the look, they'll just shrug and say a small "nothing." and go back to doing what they were before, subtly smiling still at your chemistry.
if you don't work with him, he's always texting you during cases, calling you whilst the team sends him on a coffee run or late nights at the hotel. he enjoys your routinely scoldings you give him when he calls you late at night, telling him "you should be asleep! you're gonna damage that boy genius brain of yours and what good is that to anybody? sleep, spence!!"
god, he just smiles at your grumpy grumbles. he always says he's gonna go to sleep after - but you both know that's never true. he always stays up, trying to figure out the case, but God you make it so hard for him to focus! your pretty face, room-lighting smile - you ruin his focus in the best way possible.
if an unsub targeted you, he'd never forgive himself. even if you didn't get hurt! it'd be his fault, he brought you into his world. anyone he had in his world, ended up hurt. the minute they went after you though, the case became personal. hotch obviously did try to stop him, but spencer didn't care. he'd walk in line of fire for you, and that just might be the case.
he'd desperately try to talk down the unsub and once he was arrested(or shot), he'd hold onto you and never let you go, mumbling soft apologies into your hair as he rubbed your back, feeling it tense from the adrenaline of having a gun to your head.
if he missed dates, or god forbid anniversaries because of a case, he'd be filled with dread and guilt. sending you flowers, favourite foods, bringing your coffee by your house every morning, and if you didn't want to see him, he'd leave it outside your door with a little note.
when you finally forgive him, understanding it wasn't his fault, he's thanking you like his life depends on it.
he gives you his scarves on cold nights, buys you a matching one.
"hows your wife?" when she sees her son, a big grin on her face. eventually spencer just smiles with her, nodding.
he's nervous about introducing you to his mother, but she absolutely adores you, grabbing and smooshing your cheeks and saying "where have you been my sons whole life?!" sometimes due to her illness, she'll forget you're just his girlfriend, and she'll always ask
"my wife is good, mom."
© LUST444MEN 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.
#lust444men⋆ ˚ ᡣ𐭩 /ᐠ ˕ マ#christi rambles#christi's shit posts#christi's posts#spencer reid smut#autistic spencer reid#spencer reid x oc#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid#but daddy i love him#hes so cute#hes so silly#aaron hotchner smut#aaron hotchner#derek morgan smut
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Piece of Paper (S.R.)
Summary: Spencer and Reader discuss Autism evaluations.
Request: reader tells spencer "i think im autistic" and he’s like "wait you've never been evaluated/diagnosed??" and he helps her advocate for an evaluation or some other kind of support?
A/N: I’m sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted, Anon, but this is the experience I would like to share as a person who was diagnosed as a toddler 🫶
Couple: Spencer Reid/GN!Reader
Category: Comfort/Fluff
Content Warning: Autism assessment/Anti-Autistic mentions, implied abuse/gaslighting, minor self-hatred, internalized ableism
Word Count: 1k
MASTERLIST
The bullpen was as quiet as it ever was. The bustling crowds had passed through and returned to the comfort of their home. All that remained were those with deadlines, no date life, or neurodivergent tendencies.
You peeked across the desk to notice how Spencer’s hyper-focus had finally faded, leaving him now spinning in his chair while he stared at the ceiling.
“Hey, Spencer?” you called, “Can I ask you a kind of personal question?”
His chair came to a halt.
“Sure, but I’m not sure if I’ll have a satisfying answer,” he chuckled.
You floundered for a moment, struggling to come up with an appropriate way to ask your question. Yet, when you did finally speak, you were anything but eloquent.
“What was it like when you were diagnosed with Autism?”
“Oh!” he said excitedly, “I’ve actually never been assessed.”
Immediately, your face began to burn, and your stomach churned with the realization you’d just made a number of possibly rude assumptions.
“Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry—“
“I’m not offended,” he reassured you with a smile, “I agree with your assessment.”
You smiled at the wordplay, but the intensity of his gaze drove your eyes back to the mess of paperwork on your desk.
“Can I ask why?” you asked.
Spencer didn’t seem to mind at all that you stared at the desk instead of him. He offered his explanation with his normal enthusiasm.
“My mom wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of psychiatrists.”
Understandable. Neither were you.
“Plus,” he trailed off. You turned to find him staring at the ceiling again. He rocked the chair back and forth as he said somewhat solemnly, “the world isn’t particularly fond of Autistic people.”
The words felt like a blow to your chest. Like your heart had turned to stone or something unbearably cold.
“Ah,” you sigh. You brought a hand to your face to try to hide the disappointment.
Spencer, still looking above you both, didn’t even notice the shift in tone.
“Why do you ask?”
“Nothing,” you replied, “It’s nothing, it’s stupid.”
Even he couldn’t miss the sadness in your voice, though. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, you heard the realization hit him with a gasp.
“Were you planning on scheduling an assessment?”
“I was considering it, but… I don’t know if I should.”
There were a lot of reasons why that was the case — self doubt, fear of the unknown, chronic gaslighting — but you didn’t want to go into all of that. Instead, you chose to sympathize with the plight he’d already shared with you.
“Because you’re right, other people are… not very receptive to the diagnosis.”
Some more than the rest.
Spencer paused for a second, even though you knew he wanted to say something. For a moment, he wrestled with the right words and the right tone to prevent his anger from projecting onto the wrong person.
“Would you be doing it for them?” he asked, “The other people?”
It seemed like a silly question… one you’d never really stopped to ask yourself.
“What do you mean?”
That time, when Spencer started speaking, you couldn’t find it in you to stop him. You stayed silent because you knew he was offering you his unfiltered thoughts on something personal to him.
“I mean… why do you want someone else to tell you? I don’t want to talk you out of something that would bring you peace of mind, but I would encourage you to ask yourself if that’s really the reason you’re doing it, because that piece of paper can make a lot of things much harder for you. Immigration, medical decision making, adoption, child rearing, hell, even your job… that target on your back will impact aspects of your life that you’ve probably never even considered it would.”
You sat there, soaking in the hopelessness of the moment. You begged your heart to slow down, but it continued racing along with your thoughts.
Ultimately, there was nothing left to be said but, “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Did I upset you?”
There was a subtle regret in his voice, but you knew it had needed to be said. That bluntness, that unfiltered honesty had been exactly why you’d asked him.
So, you managed a smile as you thanked him the best way you knew how; by telling him the truth.
“No, I appreciate your honesty.”
He responded with his own.
“Okay. I’m still sorry, though.”
“Thanks,” you said, although you’d meant ‘Me too.’
Spencer didn’t respond. Instead, he turned and scrambled to find a blank sheet among his notebooks. At first, you thought nothing of it. But once you heard him scribble something onto a piece of paper that was immediately ripped from its place, you turned to him.
His eyes remained fixed on the note he’d just written while he spoke.
“At the end of the day, no matter how badly we want to believe things will change… the people who don’t believe you now… they won’t believe a piece of paper, either,” he said.
Then, standing from his chair, Spencer closed the space between you, note in hand. He clutched it tightly between his fingers that were held against his chest.
“But if it helps, I believe you.”
Tears sprung from your eyes so quickly that you weren’t sure what to do with them. You decided to let them sit there, to soak in the saltwater reminder that you were not nearly as inhuman as the others made you seem. And when Spencer held out his hand to offer you the lifeline on lined paper, you took it.
He smiled.
“A doctor’s note, in case you ever need it.”
Spencer returned to his desk without another word. You set the piece of paper down and decided that, when you were ready, you would see what he’d had to say.
Then, when you were ready, you would find the handwritten message:
“You are the only expert of your life. You already know the answer.”
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Meltdown
Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
-Description: You and Spencer are together. When Spencer experienced a meltdown, you are there for him.
-Warnings: Angst, fluffiness, meltdown, Autism Spectrum Disorder (Spencer)
-Word count: 992
-Note: (Repost from Wattpad!) This is a somewhat more heavier subject, and I hope, everyone has respect for each other. Everyone experience this different, and hopefully, you are all okay. I'm always here to talk! <3
Masterlist
Spencer's POV:
I would've been fine.
I would've been fine, with the sudden change of plans, that sent the team here in the first place. I would've been fine, forcing myself making eye contact with the officers during the briefing. I would've been fine, with the stranger occupying the space where Emily should be.
Really, I would've been fine.
But then, someone bumped into me in the local police station.
Normally, I have no problems with physical contact. But, I needed to know it was coming, and I needed to trust the person.
This stranger bumping into me, while I was already on edge, only made things worse. Far worse.
'I'm sorry.' the stranger apologized, because that's what you do when you accidentally bump into each other. You both say sorry, and move on with your lives.
I wanted to say sorry back, I really do, but I just couldn't. I froze for a moment, as I tried to speak, failing miserably. The man gave me a look, and walked away.
Suddenly, I was very aware of the coffee smell, that was hanging in the station. The fluorescence lights, were suddenly brighter, and the complete stranger, who just bumped into me, hadn't showered today. I could hear people chat, but couldn't make any word out of it.
I felt the tears sting, and knew, that I was on the very edge of having a meltdown. Not here. Not now. I wished, that I was home, alone, and could fall apart there. I needed privacy. I started to pace quickly to the single-user restroom, hoping no one would notice. When I made it into the restroom, I was quick with locking the door and turning the light off.
I broke down.
__________________________
Y/N POV:
I saw what happened. I saw, Spencer bumping into a stranger. I saw, his world changing, because of too many stimuli. I saw, him on the very edge of tears, of having a meltdown. And, I saw, him running towards the restroom.
Spencer, having a meltdown, never happened before. It happens rarely, and I never seen it happen. But, I knew what the symptoms are. When he told me, he was Autistic, I asked questions or search for information on the internet. I wanted to know as many things as possible, in order to help him. To understand him.
Now, I was fully able to keep my promises.
I rushed after him, and knocked gently on the door.
'Spence, it's me. I know what is happening, and I want to help you. Please let me in, I'm alone.'
That last word was the most important. I was alone. He didn't needed attention on him, especially not now.
After a few seconds, the door unlocked. I went in, and immediately locked it after me. There he was. His body, shaking, tears streaming down his face, as he bites his lip, in an attempt to sob as quiet as possible.
The most important thing to do was, stay calm. The least thing he needed, was more worrying. Since, this is the first time I experience this, and it's different with everyone, I wasn't sure if he needed a comforting hug, or that the physical contact only made things worse. So, I decided to just open up my arms, letting him decide.
'You don't need to hug me. Do what's best for you.'
He doubted it. But, made quick the decision, to crash into my arms. I hugged him. I wanted to hug him tightly, but I knew that he needed all the control. He needed to know, that he could pull back, at any given moment. He needed completely control.
I rubbed softly his back, as the tears were still streaming, uncontrollably.
'I am so proud of you, love. You're doing so good. Everything is going to be okey. Just let it all out.' I spoke, softly, hoping it would help.
Eventually, his tears lessened, then stopped, as we were now in comfortable silence. He pulled slightly away, and turned the light back on. Without saying anything, he went to the mirror. The tear traces were mostly gone, but his eyes were still a little puffy and red. He splashed some water in his face, making his eyes a bit better.
'Repitive thinking is a death mill for the brain. For complete brain usage, diverse stimulation is the key.' he spoke out a random fact, most likely wanted to make sure he could talk again.
Then, Spencer turned around, looking at me.
'Thank you so much, (Y/N). You don't know how much you helped me.' I could see the appreciation on his face, making me smile.
'I'm really glad, I could help.' he walked towards me, and wrapped me into a sweet hug.
'Normally, I would have been fine, but then there was this stranger, bumping into me, and-'
'It's okay, love. I understand, everything is okey now.' I hated to cut him off, but it seemed like the best option. He began to get nervous again, and the last thing I wanted, was to make him relive the moment.
'Are you okay?' I asked him, as we pulled apart again.
'Yes, much better now.'
'Good, and remember, I'm always here for you.'
'Thank you. Really, thank you for helping me.'
'No problem, genius. Are you ready to get back?'
'Yeah.'
'You sure?' I asked again, wanting to make sure he's ready. He nodded his head, as I was about to unlock the door.
'Love?'
'Yes?' I turned around, facing him.
'Im here for you too. Always.'
__________________________
#criminal minds#cm#fanfic#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x yn#spencer reid x fem!reader#fluff imagine#angst imagine#autism#autistic spencer reid#meltdown
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