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#subtext doesn't count
notbeetle · 7 months
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Honestly I suspect that the whole thing with like, Wildbow's inadvertent adding of homoerotic subtext or whatnot is really just downstream of the fact that regardless of gender his protagonists always have their deepest, most emotionally meaningful connections with women. Literally the only exception to this rule is Evan from Pact and he's literally fucking eight years old so nobody is shipping that.
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Me, starting another popular drama knowing full well I'm about to be queerbaited again:
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capnhanbers · 1 year
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Wait, Gaster knew Asgore because Gaster had no family? Basically Asgore just took him in and Gaster decided to stick onto him like glue right? Did Asgore do that with other monsters too? I think I had saw this in a chapter, but i'm honestly not finding it, making me think it was a different fic (hopefully not) also totally not cooking something up shhhhhhh
yes so! gaster explained to naya in ch117 that all monster orphans were taken in by asgore. however, asgore, in typical joat!asgore fashion, kind of distanced himself from being a true blue "Dad" to the orphans. like was totally wonderful and available to them and made sure literally all their needs were met, but would delegate minute to minute childcare to teachers. and certainly none of them lived in his house. his sad empty house. :'/ he was more of a kind benefactor than a real parent.
gaster's feelings about asgore are more based in respecting him as a ruler. there probably are some messy inner daddy issues (like father like son lol) but a conscious part of gaster liked that bit of distance. he recognized asgore's commitment to his duties over all else, and wanted to follow in those footsteps.
but effectively. yes. little gaster did stick to him like glue.
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barb-l · 2 years
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the oec/TOH talk makes me wish we somehow could've gotten more of oec just chilling as a little found family. they were saving the universe in a little RV/camper truck and we hardly got to see it
Yeah 😭 pre-divorce OEC in their lil rv, travelling around the worlds, looking for the other girls...
On a slighly related note, I just really wish the ot12 mv's would show them actually interacting with each other again instead of just having solo shots for each girl when they aren't dancing. Like cmon....
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Missing these kinda stuff so bad...
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cleabellanov · 4 months
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"But Lokius isn't even canon! Stop making everything gay!"
...
The Loki series isn't just about romantic relationships and shouldn't be seen as so. However, there is a lot of subtext. Maybe this ship is not canon, but it was intended to be seen as so by the fans.
If Lokius isn't canon, then why were the last two shots of the series showing Mobius and Loki?
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If Lokius isn't canon, why would there be so much touching and scenes so physically close to one another? (believe me I know they're friends. that just offers a solid base for something more)
If Lokius isn't canon, why is there an OFFICIAL track named like that?
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Why is said track played or incorporated in different scenes of the series? like
-the first McDonalds meeting with Sylvie,
-the back-in-time conversation with Kang
- the ASCENSION to the throne?
Why is the Sylvie and Loki kiss never mentioned, by the producers, in the series per se, or even in the season 1 recap?
Why is Mobius the only one looking at Loki when he leaves down to the temporal loom?
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And the other way around, why did Loki only make eye contact with Mobius in that scene?
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Why is Mobius the only one to notice there is something wrong when Loki is still trying to fix the Loom?
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Why did Mobius/Don on the original timeline, mention he's single, trust a complete stranger, invite him for a drink, AND offer to sell him a quite personal jet-ski?
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Why did Loki, the LITERAL GOD OF MISCHIEF stutter and fix his hair and coat for no one else but Mobius (who by the way is just a jetski salesman on that timeline)?
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Why is the timeslipping Loki had to go through directed to Mobius twice, him being the the only one he doesn't need a TemPad to "recruit"?
Why would Loki bring up Thor and Jane if it wasn't to mirror him and Mobius? (because, as he already was talking to Sylvie, he certainly wasn't implying it's about her. They were arguing, AND Mobius was implied in the conversation. Loki defended him in front of Sylvie, in case you forgot.)
Why would Mobius's voice be the one to echo back to Loki on his throne? let time pass time pass time pass
Why the RAINBOW?
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WHY DID LOKI LOOK AT MOBIUS RIGHT BEFORE THE FAMOUS LINE "IT'S ABOUT WHO"? (important mention: Sylvie was behind him when he said that. why didn't he just turn around when saying it? nope, they know what they're doing)
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Why is the shot cut to Mobi after Loki's "it was more about what I wanted" line?
Why the shot where 7 characters could've been showed (Mobius, Loki, Sylvie, B-15, Casey, O.B., Victor Timely) there are only 2: Mobius and Loki?
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Why is Mobius the only one to tell Loki he can be someone good, and the first one Loki actually believes despite his tendency to do the other way around in the past?
Why does Mobius finally find insight, and reinvent his whole life at the TVA because Loki helped him do so? (they're not even the first Loki variant he faced, but something clicked this time)
Why does the bloody sleeve, representing Loki being hurt by Sylvie just because he "wore his heart on his sleeve" disappear on episode 2? (because he finally understands who he needs to be next to)
Why did Mobius risk his life on the first episode?
Why did Loki go to past Mobius for the final advice, not to the present one, not to Sylvie?
Why did Loki ultimately sacrifice his life for the ones he loves?
And why is Mobius left alone, with the door locked, after Loki leaves in the Loom's radiation?
Why would there be so much endearing looks, and smiles at each other, if not for a conscious acting choice?
Why why why why why if it isn't canon?
Nothing is for nothing. Especially in television, where everything counts from the light to the angles and the way the lines are spoken.
We don't need to see two characters kiss to know they are made for one another. In fact, I think implied canon is so much better for now, because it leaves free interpretation for the fans, and nothing to strike on for the haters.
Of course, that doesn't change the fact that the ending is still tragic, although it holds its sweet from bittersweet. But remember: there aren't tragedies without love.
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wlwcatalogue · 4 months
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Some WLW (?) Jdrama & Kdrama recommendations!
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Jdramas and Kdramas have a (not-entirely-unearned) reputation for being very straight, but here are a few which are either canonically F/F or which prominently feature a female-female pair-- please enjoy! For those who enjoy following series in real time, Chaser Game W and She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat S2 are both airing this January 2024 :)
As with my post on anime with yuri subtext, since subtext is so subjective, this list only includes series which I’ve actually watched, and so is by no means intended to be comprehensive. Also, it doesn't include any webseries, since those probably deserve a post of their own.
At-a-glance list:
Miss Sherlock (8 episodes, 2018) (subtext)
Night Light (20 episodes, 2016) (subtext)
Tokusatsu Gagaga (7 episodes, 2019) (subtext)
Painter of the Wind (20 episodes, 2008) (canon?)
She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat (10 15-minute episodes and counting, 2022~) (canon)
Sono Toki, Heart wa Nusumareta (5 episodes, 1992) (canon)
Chaser Game W (10? 30-minute episodes, 2024) (canon)
Doctor X (7 seasons and counting, 2012~) (subtext)
Bonus: SKY Castle (20 episodes, 2018) (subtext)
Summaries under the cut!
1. Miss Sherlock / ミス・シャーロック (8 episodes, 2018) (subtext) – MyDramaList | AsianWiki
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The elevator pitch for this show is simple: it’s Sherlock Holmes, but where Holmes and Watson – here named “Sherlock” and Tachibana Wato, and played by Takeuchi Yuko and Kanjiya Shihori, respectively – are both female, and the cases are all set in modern Tokyo. As with other adaptations, mystery-solving and the budding relationship between the two leads takes centre stage, but Miss Sherlock manages to carve out an identity all its own.
There’s a calm beauty to its visuals, which favour sunlight and urban greenery, and the show’s focus on former doctor Wato as she tries out new jobs and goes to therapy means that there’s a surprisingly high number of slice-of-life scenes. It’s also subtly more female-focused than the source material; Sherlock’s gossipy but good-natured landlady Ms. Hatano (Ito Ran) is as much a member of the household as Sherlock and Wato, and the cases often revolve around female characters. But more than anything, it’s just really fun to watch Sherlock and Wato’s relationship bloom as they snip and snipe and are utterly unable to stay out of each other’s space (literally – the body language and blocking is *chef’s kiss*). Their relationship is the heart of the show – watch this one until the end, you won’t regret it!
(CW: psychological abuse, manipulation, and genre-typical murder, violence, and gore)
2. Night Light / 불야성 (20 episodes, 2016) (subtext) - MyDramaList | AsianWiki
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(Note: spoilers for the mid-season twist, but it’s impossible to allude to a good portion of the F/F subtext without doing so, and I think knowing the twist ahead of time doesn’t make it any less enjoyable.)
Night Light is a rather odd show. It’s simple enough on the face of it, a story about  successful but ruthless CEO Seo Yi-kyung (an icy Lee Yo-won) who tries to mold the younger Lee Se-jin (a puppy-eyed Uee) in her own ambitious image, only for her protege to develop the conscience she never had and move to stop her dastardly plans… but upon watching it’s a totally different creature,  thanks to the alchemic reactions of some delightfully contradictory acting choices (Uee’s performance convinces viewers less of Se-jin’s supposed latent desire for power and money, and more of a deep love and devotion for the CEO) and the unintentionally (?) inneundo-laden script (“If I like something once, I never forget it– whether it’s a dress… or a person,” declares the CEO less than ten minutes into the first episode while gazing intently at Se-jin).
Honestly, it’s a wonder this series ever got made, but you certainly won’t see me complaining! The first part is full of boss/subordinate goodness; Se-jin is unable to resist the CEO’s magnetic pull despite her hot-and-cold behaviour, while the CEO cannot bring herself to push Se-jin away completely. And then, when Se-jin makes her mind up to stop the CEO, it morphs into a corporate take on a (subtextual) lovers-on-opposite-sides situation, where it is precisely Se-jin’s feelings for the CEO that motivate her to stop her. In short, it’s a workplace GL fan’s dream.
Note: If you do watch it, skip the corporate politicking cutscenes with the old men, you’ll thank me later. Also, there’s a prominent male character who is the CEO’s ex and who works closely with Se-jin in the second half, but don’t worry, all the M/F romance is in the past (and doesn’t get much screentime)– he and Se-jin aren’t interested in each other at all.
3. Tokusatsu Gagaga / トクサツガガガ (7 episodes, 2019) (subtext) - MyDramaList | AsianWiki
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Nakamura Kano (Koshiba Fuka) lives and breathes tokusatsu shows (think Power Rangers, if you’re not familiar), but keeps it a secret from her work colleagues to avoid being shunned or laughed at. And yet she yearns for connection, so when she sees a woman on the subway bearing a keychain from her favourite show (Yoshida Hisami, played by Kurashina Kana), she is determined to find her again.
Although ostensibly about being a tokusatsu fan as an adult, this show is rife with queer subtext, and not in the usual way. It deals with the difficulties of staying in the closet (regarding being an adult tokusatsu fan), the desire to connect with other queer people adult tokusatsu fans and how one might do so through hints and signals, parental disapproval arising from gendered and social expectations (that tokusatsu shows are for boys, and magical girl shows for girls), intersectionality and finding comradeship with other minorities people who are excluded due to their interests, and even generational gaps wherein younger queers fans may underestimate the obstacles that still exist. Although all that might sound a bit stressful, it isn’t actually! Difficult incidents are handled with sympathy and a dash of wry humour, and the show never loses sight of the fact that it – above all else – is a story about finding queer community in the face of a heteronormative hostile world, told with warmth and the nuance of lived experience.
4. Painter of the Wind / 바람의 화원 (20 episodes, 2008) (canon?) - MyDramaList | AsianWiki
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Adapting the novel of the same name by Lee Jung-myung, Painter of the Wind takes as its protagonist a gender-bent version of real-life Joseon-era painter Shin Yun-bok (Moon Geun-young), whose paintings are used to weave a tale of artistry, political intrigue, and romance, and more than anything else to offer modern-day viewers a glimpse of everyday life in 18th-century Korea.
While it may sound like Dickinson’s boring cousin, apart from having a common preoccupation with reframing historical works, another similarity the two shows share is that Painter of the Wind is also very gay. Starting from the first episode, Yun-bok meets and becomes fascinated by the courtesan Jung-hyang (Moon Chae-won), who despite her initial aloofness is drawn to Yun-bok’s intellect and sensitive demeanour. It’s a real meeting of the minds, their witty repartee in early episodes reminiscent of Twelfth Night’s Viola and Olivia, and their relationship isn’t siloed off from the main plot either: Yun-bok’s infatuation quickly starts causing issues with her academic career, and the two eventually have to contend with Jung-hyang’s precarious position as a courtesan as well.
Unfortunately, all this is undermined in the back half of the show, which tries to gaslight viewers into thinking that Yun-bok’s feelings for Jung-hyang were purely platonic all along and that she totally has romantic feelings for her much older male mentor— but hey, at least it’s an open ending. Despite everything, though, I can’t think of another serious historical TV show which features such a prominent F/F narrative for its main character, even nearly two decades later. (Let me know if you have any others! And no, Gentleman Jack doesn’t count, it’s not exactly traditional in style!)
(CW: period-typical sexism)
5. She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat / 作りたい女と食べたい女 (10 15-minute episodes and counting, 2022~) (canon) - MyDramaList
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Based on Yuzaki Sakaomi’s manga of the same name, this simple but sweet show follows home-cooking extraordinaire Nomoto Yuki (Higa Manami), who yearns to cook large-scale dishes but doesn’t eat enough to justify making them. Luckily for her, her neighbour Kasuga Totoko (Nishino Emi) has a massive appetite!
It’s always lovely to see more grounded stories about working women, especially when they’re as cute as this one. Though it touches upon some slightly more serious issues, such as with regard to gendered expectations surrounding food and cooking, it’s primarily a feel-good slice-of-life show about two women getting to know each other by cooking and eating delicious food together.
Side note: if you’ve started it and think the show doesn’t look cosy enough, stick it out for a few more episodes, the production values improve after the first part! Also, the series was renewed for a second season with double the episode count (for a total of 20 episodes) which will start airing on January 29th this year, so this is the perfect time to jump in!
6. Sono Toki, Heart wa Nusumareta / その時、ハートは盗まれた (5 episodes, 1992) (canon) - MyDramaList
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Sono Heart, as it’s nicknamed, starts off as a typical heteronormative high school romance: bumbling protagonist Shiina Hiroko (Isshiki Sae) is desperate to get closer to her crush Katase Masato (Kimura Takuya), star of the school basketball team and all-round nice dude. However, a spanner in the works comes slouching along in the form of female classmate Aso Saki (Uchida Yuki, in her debut role), a mischievous, short-haired personification of trouble who Katase turns out to have feelings for. One day, Hiroko gets into a fight with Saki, and they end up having to stay together after school as punishment. But that afternoon gives them the opportunity to bond over a heart-to-heart conversation, and things seem to improve… until, just before leaving, Saki kisses Hiroko. And then everything changes.
Or rather, everything changes eventually. What’s great about this show is that it doesn’t take shortcuts: Hiroko doesn’t instantly fall in love with Saki. Instead, what you get is a surprisingly layered portrait of a high school girl whose coming to terms with queerness is merely a natural extension of reckoning with her burgeoning sexuality. And, because Saki is self-destructive in her depression and makes a game of belittling, worrying, and infuriating anyone who cares about her, it’s really a story about what it means to love another person rather than a romantic ideal. A word of warning, though: Katase is actually quite a large character, as he and Hiroko end up becoming friends. Also, the ending is very abrupt and inconclusive, though rest assured that it doesn’t try to roll back Hiroko’s feelings, or pair either girl off with a guy.
(CW: self-harm, attempted suicide, bullying, homophobia, underage drinking)
7. Chaser Game W: Power Harassment Boss Is My Ex-Girlfriend / チェイサーゲームW: パワハラ上司は私の元カノ (10? 30-minute episodes, 2024) (canon) - MyDramaList | AsianWiki
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Probably jumping the gun here as only two episodes have aired as of writing, but I feel honour-bound to recommend this as it’d probably appeal to a lot of people, if only they knew about it! Chaser Game W is a standalone spin-off of Chaser Game, itself an adaptation of a manga of the same name by Matsuyama Hiroshi and Matsushima Yukitarou, but you don’t need to know anything going in.
Protagonist Harumoto Itsuki (former Keyakizaka46 captain Sugai Yuuka) has been assigned a new job: her company has been asked by a Chinese conglomerate to develop a game adaptation of a GL manhua, and she’s been tapped as the project leader. However, what appears to be an exciting prospect soon becomes a terrifying one, as the person sent by the client to supervise turns out to be her ex-girlfriend from university (Lin Dongyu, played by Japanese actress Nakamura Yurika), who is now married to a Chinese man (played by a Japanese actor) and has a child, but remains hell-bent on exacting revenge on Itsuki for their bad breakup. This is a romantic (melo)drama rather than a psychological thriller, though, so you won’t be watching Itsuki getting terrorised the entire time. While she is understandably upset by her ex’s current behaviour, Itsuki can’t forget about their happy days together, and Dongyu herself veers between being a sneering bully and craving Itsuki’s affection.
Do note that the show isn’t without its flaws: it’s very Japanese about the Chinese thing, which is to say it’s filled with comments which range from somewhat offensive to borderline racist, and the script will probably give you a headache if you know even the slightest thing about game development. Your mileage might vary on the ex too, as she can be really quite nasty to Itsuki and her teammates. But if you can overlook those issues, this is a rare prize indeed: a TV drama focusing on a canonical F/F pair, who are specifically exes, and in a workplace setting.
(CW: bullying)
8. Doctor X / ドクターX (7 seasons and counting, 2012~) (subtext) - MyDramaList | AsianWiki
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To be very honest, I was in two minds about including Doctor X on this list. It is, with a few notable exceptions, misogynistic and reductive in its depictions of women (especially in the first two seasons), gives too much screentime to objectively awful and subjectively annoying men, doesn’t respect the work done by medical personnel apart from surgeons, and on the technical front is formulaic, repetitive, and often lazy in its writing and presentation. Unfortunately, the dynamic between the genius surgeon protagonist Daimon Michiko (Yonekura Ryoko) and her anaesthesiologist wife partner friend Jounouchi Hiromi (Uchida Yuki) is almost unparalleled in its excellence.
The premise of the series is basic indeed: Daimon Michiko is a freelance surgeon with a healthy disrespect of rules and authority and, unluckily for her detractors, a cast-iron guarantee that she will succeed in any surgery, no matter how difficult. She’s initially portrayed as a lone wolf who’s dismissive of the entire hospital system and anyone who’s part of it— but her interest is piqued by the anaesthesiologist Jounouchi, who is skilled beyond her peers and chafes against the idiocy of her colleagues. For all its flaws, the first season – which is more serious and edgy in tone compared to the others, and isn’t an ensemble cast like the post-S3 seasons – is a fantastic depiction of two people being perfectly matched in skill, intellect, and outlook, and how they come together despite one being standoffish (Jounouchi) and the other not being used to reaching out to or even respecting other people (Daimon).
The seasons after that sadly ditch the emphasis on Jounouchi being Daimon’s professional equal, but in exchange offer up another rare and unexpected gift: two women in their late thirties / early forties who are partners both at work and in private. Jounouchi is Daimon’s designated anaesthesiologist, assisting with nearly every surgery, and she spends so much time at Daimon’s agency-office-slash-house you’d think she’d moved in. Also, after a point they just start being wonderfully dorky and comfortable with each other, while still being consummate professionals in the operating theatre. Although the show is very much focused on Daimon Michiko as its sole protagonist, Jounouchi is undoubtedly the character most significant to her – even more than Daimon’s father figure, the head of the freelance agency – and this is highlighted in the story from time to time. They are very, very good. I just wish the series was better.
Note: If you’re curious, I would recommend watching the very first episode in full– by the end you should know if you’re invested enough to continue, otherwise drop it and live in the happy knowledge that you dodged a bullet. If you aren’t so lucky, I’d advise skipping the surgery segments when they start to bore, and in general to skip liberally. Also, season 4 is not worth watching as a whole, except for the last two episodes, which absolutely should not be missed. Sigh. I can’t speak to seasons 6 and 7, due to having paused mid-S6.
Side note: If you’ve watched Doctor X already and liked it (or at least like Daimon and Jounouchi), but haven’t tried Miss Sherlock yet, definitely give that a go because there seems to be a big overlap in the fandoms. Maybe it’s because they both feature a genius protagonist, have the two largest female characters being work partners, and domestic vibes…?
(CW: sexism, genre-typical gore)
Bonus: SKY Castle / SKY 캐슬 (20 episodes, 2018) (subtext) - MyDramaList | AsianWiki
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(Note: slight spoilers for the early episodes, but it’s necessary in order to give a more accurate recommendation regarding the F/F subtext, especially as the show is not primarily focused on any one relationship.)
This one’s a bonus because unlike the others on this list, there’s no close relationship between two female characters which could be interpreted in a romantic light. That’s not too surprising as the show is all about the women of a several super-wealthy families trying to get their children into the top Korean universities (equivalent to the Ivy League) whilst supporting their husbands in the rat race: a decidedly heteronormative premise, albeit one that’s executed in an award-winning manner.
So why am I listing it? Well, it’s because somehow, in this series about heteronormative and highly gendered nuclear families, it features possibly the most erotically-charged dynamic I have seen, even taking season 1 of Killing Eve into account. (Though it takes some time to get there, so if you try it out, please watch at least the first four episodes before making a decision!)
That honour goes to the problematic gem that is the relationship between the main character Han Seo-jin (Yum Jung-ah), who is willing to do whatever it takes to get her daughter into Seoul’s top medical school, and star tutor Kim Joo-young (Kim Seo-hyung), who is known for her 100% success rate. It starts off with a mild push-and-pull, when Han Seo-jin wants Coach Kim to take on her daughter, but is wary of the shady rumours surrounding her; the tutor stands firm, and Han eventually has to swallow her pride and accept the risks. Where it really comes into its own, though, is when Coach Kim starts to pose a legitimate threat to everything Han cares for: her daughter, her marriage (or rather, what her husband can give her), her position in the world. It becomes increasingly clear that Han should just walk away, and indeed she tries to do so many a time, only to bend in the end because the coach is key to fulfilling her dearest wish– and so to Han, for all she rages and resents and fears, Coach Kim is nothing less than temptation itself. This is the beating core of the show, and even as the plotting disintegrates and falls into melodrama in the second half, their scenes together still crackle with delicious tension every time. Watch it.
(CW: suicide, psychological abuse, child abuse, bullying, murder)
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greatwyrmgold · 1 month
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After finishing Dungeon Meshi, I had a lot of thoughts. Most of them were thoughts I'd seen echoed by other people, but there's one thing I don't think I've seen anyone else say:
Everyone hates Laios.
Obviously Kabru makes hating Laios his whole personality for a while, and the western elves think he'd be a dreadful dungeon master Lord of the Dungeon, and half of his party gets annoyed by his enthusiasm for monster cuisine. But I'm not talking about that.
Let's start with how almost literally everyone thinks he'd be the worst possible Lord of the Dungeon.
(cut this down)
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This isn't just Kabru being in his "hating Laios is my entire personality" phase; everyone assumes that Laios's desires being fulfilled by the dungeon would be bad for humanity.
To be clear, they're wrong. Sure, Laios is susceptible to the Winged Lion's temptation, but so is everyone. At least Laios's stint as ersatz dungeon lord didn't have a body count! (Unless you count the Winged Lion's clones.)
But that doesn't matter, does it? People hated him before he reveals his obsession with monsters, and they have no shortage of reasons. Laios keeps talking about monsters and asking unwanted questions, he can't hold a normal conversation, he can't read the room or understand social cues, he doesn't fit in anywhere.
Laios does his best to act normal (most obviously when he pretends not to notice the Golden Country spirit because no one else sees it), but it's not good enough. People can still tell that he's different. They hate him when he acts weird and they hate him when he acts normal. Don't take it from me; take it from Chilchuck.
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The left panel is the whole reason this post exists. It states in plain English that Laios would still be ostracized even if he only said "reasonable" things. People's distaste and distrust of him isn't rooted in how he acts or what he says, but in who he is.
...
Pretty much anyone who knows what they're talking about accepts that Laios is autistic. Probably also Falin, maybe also other party members, but Laios is definitely the poster boy for Dunmeshi autism. And the reasons people hate him are pretty closely aligned with his autism. That's usually subtext, but Shuro says the quiet part out loud.
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Shuro doesn't know about the monster-eating or think Laios is gonna destroy humanity. He just can't stand Laios's eccentricities. And he's far from alone.
We don't see a lot of Laios's childhood, outside his interactions with Falin...but the subtext isn't great. You don't need to be a seasoned dungeoneer to recognize that someone is "different"; any kid can do it. And from the sparse glimpses we've seen of the Thorden parents—Laios's nightmare, the little indications that he shaves to avoid looking like his father, etc—they don't seem to have accepted their son's differences, either.
I doubt anyone in the Dungeon Meshi world knows the word "autism". If you tried to explain it to the Thorden party, their reactions would probably range from "Are you sure that's a thing?" to "Come on, everyone thinks like that sometimes, right?" But you don't need words to recognize difference, or to loathe it, or to make different people's lives hell. To make them want to escape their lives, by whatever means are necessary.
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Is it any wonder Laios identifies with monsters, when so many people already treat him like one?
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Idk who needs to hear this, but Spanish Jackie is played by an actress who is 56 years old (one year younger than Con O'Neill), Spanish Jackie is an amputee with a prosthetic limb, and Spanish Jackie has an unconventional relationship, flirts with a nonbinary character, and her actress has talked about her having same sex relationships (which is about as cannon as the subtext Izzy's got going on).
Ed is played by a 48 year old actor so he's a bit younger but still gen x, same as Con, Ed uses a mobility aid (the knee brace), and Ed is textually a queer man and the entire story is about his same sex relationship.
If you say that Izzy is the only older disabled queer on the show you are just fucking lying.
If you want to argue that Jackie is 25 and straight, or that the knee brace doesn't count for some reason fine but I will then argue that Izzy never actually expresses textual attraction to a man, because that's about the level of seriousness with which I regard those takes
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gaypolls · 17 days
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*it doesn't have to include Canonically LGBT Characters or even be explicit about the queer subject matter. For example, if you've read a particular book knowing it had queer subtext for the queer subtext, or specifically because you knew the author was gay and you went in with the intent to Read A Queer Author, that can count. The same goes for queer playwrights/filmmakers. Obviously the line can get fuzzy here but I'll just trust you all to answer in good faith.
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antianakin · 3 months
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I think I'm able to perhaps put a few words to why I really dislike that the Ahsoka show had her choose to come to the conclusion that Anakin was GOOD, that he was a good person and good teacher to her, rather than having her refuse to forgive him and just having to let go of him entirely.
Ahsoka is a character who has been, for her ENTIRE RUN on Star Wars, defined by Anakin and her relationship to him. She's never been able to escape that. She was created as an explanation for why Anakin "matured" over the three year gap between AOTC and ROTS, but her lack of existence in the films means she can have no greater impact on Anakin than that. She is wholly irrelevant to his character but she does not EXIST without him. In Rebels, she is only in one season where all of her appearances are fixated on her discovery of Anakin's betrayal and how that impacts her, leading up to their final confrontation where she appears to die fighting him. She comes back only so her relationship with Anakin can be used to help Ezra let go of Kanan. In TOTJ, she has an entire episode dedicated to explaining that the only reason she survived Order 66 was because of some kind of special training Anakin gave her that made her stronger, better, faster than any other Jedi. In The Mandalorian, her appearance was full of subtext about her trauma regarding Anakin and the way she reacts to other Jedi as a result of that. In The Book of Boba Fett appearance, that subtext is still there, primarily in her conversation with Luke where she even tells him how much he reminds her of Anakin. Which leaves us with the Ahsoka show itself and how it REVOLVES around that relationship, from Sabine being turned into Anakin 2.0 to everything in episode 5 to Ahsoka claiming she'll support Sabine in everything because this is what Anakin did for her to Anakin literally showing up in ghost form to Thrawn predicting everything Ahsoka will do because he has some familiarity with Anakin.
Ahsoka CANNOT escape this relationship, she cannot move out from this particular shadow and become her own person because her character seems to ONLY EXIST to be "Anakin's student." She can almost literally not stand on her own at this point. If her story doesn't revolve around Anakin in some way, it doesn't seem to really exist (please keep in mind here that I am mostly looking at HIGH CANON appearances for this because that's what I am familiar with; I'm sure that some comics have probably managed to move away from her relationship to Anakin a little bit sometimes but I haven't read any of them so they're not being counted in this analysis, especially since I don't think they're really impacting her higher canon characterization anyway).
It's even just visible in how other characters perceive her. She is constantly being COMPARED to Anakin, we keep hearing how like Anakin she is. The only time I can think of that she is compared to anyone OTHER than Anakin is when Trace and Rafa tell her that she acts like a Jedi even if she isn't currently calling herself one (bless their SOULS for this moment, they deserved so much better than the hate they got and one single appearance on fucking TBB). We never hear anyone say she reminds them of Obi-Wan, or Yoda, or Plo Koon. It's ALWAYS Anakin even though she's known Yoda and Plo Koon longer and she seems to spend almost as much time with Obi-Wan as she does Anakin.
By having Ahsoka decide to deal with her feelings about Anakin by just... setting aside all the bad shit he did and focusing ONLY on the good moments that he had and letting that define him, it makes it nearly impossible to separate her from him. If he's good, then it's a GOOD thing to compare her to him. If he's good, then his influence on her HAS to have been a good one. For me, it ruins ANY nuance that could have come from going the opposite direction and recognizing that while he had some good moments, he was in fact an overall bad person who was a terrible teacher to her. He betrayed her, he tried to kill her (and only failed because she was saved by someone else), he abandoned her. I don't care WHAT he did before this, this automatically makes him a BAD TEACHER.
And recognizing that Anakin was a bad teacher would force Ahsoka to look at HERSELF more critically, too, to recognize the places where she has made the same mistakes perhaps, where she's started leading herself down a similar path to his, and then choosing to NOT BE LIKE HIM. Anakin should be (like he is with Luke) the personification of her own darkness. Palpatine represented Anakin's greatest demons and personifications, Anakin can represent something similar for Ahsoka. He is an indisputable part of her now, but she doesn't HAVE to become him, she doesn't have to let that CONTROL her. And by making that choice, she frees herself from being defined by him for the rest of her life.
But now, the narrative has bound Ahsoka to Anakin forever. She'll never be anything more than Anakin's student because this has become what defines her as a person and a character. And it just... it sucks. Ahsoka deserved better than that.
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rogueddie · 1 year
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"Hey Steve," Eddie asks, turning to him.
Steve perks up, finally looking away from the tapes he's been rewinding, excited for a distraction. "Yeah?"
"Have you ever seen a movie or TV show with gays in it?"
"Yeah? Who hasn't?" It's such a boring question that, shaking his head, Steve turns back to his work.
"Wait, no, stop," Robin snatches the tape out his hand. "No, you haven't. Name one."
"Uh, Star Wars, for one. Duh."
"Star Wars isn't gay," Eddie sounds dejected. It doesn't help that Robin is giving him a smug grin.
Steve frowns, looking between them "Yeah, it is. I know that it's usually... uh... fuck, what's the word?"
He tries to mime it. He makes a gesture like he's sliding his hand underneath something.
After a moment, Robin hazards a guess. "Subtext?"
"Exactly!" Steve grins, snapping his fingers. "Like the stuff with Luke! They can't just come out and say that he's gay, they'd lose profits and shit. So it's all in the subtext."
"Holy shit," Eddie breathes, looking at him with awe. "You're reading into gay nerd subtext."
"Well, it's not all subtext. Those robots were clearly gay. They kinda give it away."
"You're absolutely right, Stevie," Eddie grins at Robin, wide and smug.
"Alright, but that only half counts!" Robin pushes Eddie off the counter by his face. "Have you seen anything that's actually gay?"
"Star Trek."
"Star Trek isn't gay!"
"No, no, it is," Eddie quickly argues. "It totally is. He's got you there."
"It's still subtext and shit!"
"They got alien married!" Steve cries, outraged. "That's not... it's right there! It's so obvious!"
"They didn't say anything though!"
"So?!" Steve nearly yells, ready to start pulling his hair out in frustration. "God, I've had this argument so many times, Robs. The only way they could make it more obvious is if they suddenly stopped, turned to the camera and said something like, 'we are in a relationship and in love and gay'."
"Who are you arguing with about gay Star Trek?!"
"My gran!"
"She's a homophobe! Don't compare me to her!" Robin throws a VHS at him, light enough that he's able to catch it. "You're alone on rewind duty."
"What? Robs, noooo, please."
"Nope, I don't wanna hear it. Go. Take your punishment like a big girl, go on."
Steve flaps his hands at her, rolling his eyes. But they share a teasing little smirk as he heads to the backroom, a subtle check-in to make sure it's still a joke.
"Oh my god, he's a K/S truther," Eddie whispers. He leans on the counter, chin resting on his hand. "I'm in love."
"Ew."
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1: Magic is a Metaphor < 2: Morgana is a Lesbian < 3: Merlin is Gay < 4: Arthur is Bi
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Do you remember when you were bullied in middle school? Because if you're reading this, I think it's fair to assume that you were. And your parents would say to you, 'that boy is just being mean to you because he likes you'. That's what this is.
Arthur is just so repressed. He has really bad daddy issues, and he doesn't know how to express his emotions, and he's really uncomfortable with physical intimacy, especially with other men, especially with Merlin. And this isn't me trying to psychoanalyse away his heterosexuality. It is a very evident part of his character.
And another big part of his character is that he has inherited all of these bigoted ideas about magic from his father that he has to work to overcome. Because, of course, Arthur himself is born of magic, but his dad is so ashamed of it that he hides the true circumstances of his birth from Arthur. Honestly, I don't know exactly how that would fit into this whole metaphor. I do have a half-formed theory that it could be interpreted as an allegory for intersex identity, I know that a lot of people headcanon Arthur as trans, so idk there could be something there. But regardless, it is only through his relationship with Merlin that he is able to overcome this magicphobia, because he realises: how could it be wrong when everything about Merlin is so right. And I just feel like there's a metaphor in there somewhere.
Of course, I have to mention this iconic quote from the audio commentary of the final episode: when the executive producer refers to Arthur taking off his royal seal to give back to Guinevere as passing over "the last vestige of his heterosexu- oh sorry, I mean his marriage." So, they knew exactly what they were doing.
I also thought I would just draw your attention to the fact that at one point Arthur says, "I only care about my men, they're more than friends, more than brothers." Now, I think we can all agree that out of context, that is a very gay thing to say, and yet somehow the context is even gayer, because Arthur is pretending to be talking about the Knights of the Round Table, but he's actually talking about Merlin, how Merlin is the only person he cares about, more than a friend. And then Merlin responds, "I understand. I wish I didn't, but I do." It's barely subtext at that point. This of course, brings me to my final argument:
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Arthur risked his life to save Merlin at least eight times. It could be more than that, I genuinely lost count. And you have to keep in mind that Arthur is the King of Camelot and he doesn't have any heirs. It is quite important that he stays alive. And yet anytime that Merlin is in the slightest bit of danger, he will just drop everything to protect him.
And it's really only in those moments where he's faced with the thought of losing Merlin that he shows him genuine emotion. Such as in this scene (which was cut out of 4x02 purely because it was too gay) where Arthur is planning to sacrifice himself to protect Merlin, again, and he gives Merlin his mother's sigil, the only thing he has left of his dead mum and he wants Merlin to have it as something to remember him by. Also, apparently in medieval times giving someone your family crest was basically a marriage proposal, so that's pretty gay.
You know what else is pretty gay? Telepathically communicating with Merlin and then immediately leaving Gwen in the middle of an active war. This is literally the last time that Arthur and Gwen ever see each other. Poor Gwen.
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In conclusion, Merlin is the story of gay sorcerers and bisexual knights getting into love triangles. Everyone in this show is queer and you cannot tell me otherwise.
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izartn · 3 months
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What's good about KnH is (besides its main char and bc of Maomao) the way it manages the power dynamics and what life was as a woman without falling into utter pessimism and powerlessness or full romanticism; which is a reason I usually avoid like the plague historical/pseudo-historical fiction with female leads.
Usually I'd be super skeeved out by the power Jinshi has over Maomao but the way the series presents both of them, their personalities and their agency (limited as it is for Maomao but it's there and it counts very much) it brings out all the best and interesting parts. I trust this series to get twisty with them bc it establishes so well Maomao own character and understanding of her situation and the ways Jinshi can and does or doesn't take advantage of his power over her.
Like. It's presented as a problematic element, but also unavoidable given their social situation and the world they live in, so I can trust given everything else this show has done when solving the mysteries and presenting us the situations of other women, that the romance will be treated with that same weight.
Honestly if you've read over what I like to read/watch in my tumblr you'll notice that twisty and even toxic/unhealthy dynamics are very much within my favorites, but it needs to be told in a certain way. And I'm much more difficult to satisfy when talking about het romance.
So to watch KnH, notice it's primarily about Maomao life and the various misteries/medicines/palace intrigue and the romance is playing second fiddle riffing on all the themes presented on the plot? And it's complex, and plays with messy power dynamics of gender and class, but never loses Maomao her personhood? Wow.
Also. Jinshi is so BL chara coded omg XD like, he's very clearly based on a kind of shojo ML prototype (hello tamaki suoh!) but it also pulls from BL in his case (nothing to do with their romances but I think of Yan Xiaohan re:his relationship with the imperial power, from Golden Terrace lol)
And yet his romance with Maomao wouldnt work near as well for what is trying to say if they weren't a man and woman (which I love in their case, is what has me fascinated). Yes~! Get into the meat of how fraught it is for a man and a woman to be together when the man has so much power over her. Get into it!!!!
He's so so messy and fun as a chara too. Sheltered and not at the same time, you really notice all the things he misses by way of his privilege of being a noble born man (and specifically royalty, last ep (19) left that very clear he was doing a ritual probably by proxy for the emperor and also bay exchanges people. Maomao noticed and buried that thought far far below her subconscious but we all now who he is lol). Like. The way he fumbles and ends up essentially harassing Maomao at the start sometimes, which is both played for comedic effect and also upsetting. Mmm.
Like I said, I like complexity.
Also that part when he buys Maomao contract and he goes to collect her and she's all dolled up, and the clear implication by everybody but our mains (who clearly prefer to live in willfully blind land although for Jinshi I think the subtext of what he's doing lands when he sees her) is that in any other case she'd be his concubine/side-wife. It's not their situation wight now, and she's put to work as a live-in maid and apothecary and put to study (he wants her to assist him in politics lol I love that, but also he's so so lonely) but it's very much what the palace rumor mill says.
LIKE. I love the messiness! It could go soooo badly, but it also could not and there's Maomao living at the edge bc despite herself and what she says, she wants more from life, but also as she says the rear palace isn't all that different from the high class brothels and ugh. That tension. She has to depend on the favor of a man as a women of low class but she also could lose her head! GAH. And then there's feels involved! Aaagh.
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immediatebreakfast · 1 year
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Sorry to the person who sent me the ask about the use of those specific adjectives by Mr. Hawkins in his recomendation letter, and how that relates to the newfound abuse that Dracula is starting to subject onto Jonathan. I was writing the response, and tumblr ate the ask when I tried to save it ;-;
But I still want to talk about it :)
It has been said a lot of times, but the adjectives that Mr. Hawkins chose, and used in the letter to describe why Jonathan was the perfect lawyer for Dracula's properties were very... Subjective.
All of those adjectives can be read as compliments since they paint Jonathan as a first time worker who may be new to solicitor stuff in practice, but he will do a very good job thanks to these qualities. However, for someone like Dracula, for someone who has malicious intent in mind. Adjectives like discreet, and silent, along with "shall take your instructions in all matters" paint a different picture of Jonathan.
That letter, at the eyes of Dracula, paints Jonathan as the perfect victim who will not scream, complain, nor try to defy him if he tries to do something to him.
And, that is what exactly Dracula does in the course of three days, three horrible days.
The Count manipulates, and abuses Jonathan in the most realistic manner that one can put on paper. There is no magic, no supernatural powers, nor vampirical events in these three days, just Dracula slowlyyyy tearing apart Jonathan's mind by playing a horrible game of take, and give.
Dracula gives Jonathan amazing food, cultural knowledge, amazing attitude, a smooth legal process regarding the properties, interesting conversations... basic companionship in an isolated castle with no other human around. The perfect host that maybe is a little too familiar with touch.
And in return, what Dracula takes from Jonathan? His boundaries, his sleep schedule, his privacy, his safety, small stuff like the mirror that gives him a sense of routine. Everything that could give Jonathan a sense of relief, anything that could make him stop being on edge since he got in the castle
YET STILL, if you notice, STILL, the narrative itself doesn't infer that Jonathan is lesser, or in the wrong for not fighting back in a traditional masculine way. Neither on the text, nor the subtext. Hell, Jonathan can even compare his situation to the heroine Scheherezade, and it weights in the narrative because it's an actual theme of his character!
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anistarrose · 1 month
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A while ago I saw a post that started out wishing Lilith's aroace identity got addressed onscreen, and I was like "yeah I totally agree, a voice acted stream reveal is many steps above 'some writer tweeting it after the show ends' but it would've still been far more exuberant and impactful to see it in the show." But then OP continued by saying there's nothing in Lilith's arc that reflects aromantic experiences, and look, I'm biased as the Lilith icon person, but like. Your experiences are not universal.
And... that's okay! My experiences aren't universal either. But as an aroace, I do have to say: Lilith does reflects one type of aroace experience, and that's the chronically ill aroace experience in particular.
It's the way that she's an adult who needs care from others, but first moves back in with her sister, and then moves back in with her parents, instead of moving in with or seeking out a romantic partner.
It's the way she grapples with independence and individualism, struggling to unravel "what she wants" from "what she needs in terms of support" and from "what society revolving around the Emperor's Coven has tricked her into conflating with self-worth".
It's the way she looks at her reflection and asks: "Am I broken?"
Not all aroaces are disabled and chronically ill. Not all aroaces have (or want) intense platonic friendships or close sibling relationships, and not are able to heal from trauma by living with their family. These are all arguments for more variety in aroace representation, to say nothing of a-spec representation as a whole — that just doesn't mean aroace characters with these traits don't represent anyone.
And this is also a chance to touch on a distinction that I feel isn't drawn often enough when talking about queer subtext of any form: I don't think Lilith, if you're only looking at the show itself, is a strongly or undeniably aroace-coded character. But she's absolutely a character whose arc is enhanced upon learning that she's aroace.
So don't get me wrong: I would like more than this. Lilith is like a baby step in terms of a-spec representation in animation — a meaningful step, but a small one. But for a series where each season except the first was heavily impacted (read: compressed) by the cancellation, and the unaffected first season was also the only one Lilith spent as an extremely polarizing villain, you can see how the crew could've gone in with extremely conscientious intentions and wound up having to make a tough call, right?
I don't even necessarily think they made the right call, I'm just willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that they tried. It feels like they put more than just some performative 30 seconds of thought into imagining how a disabled aroace with serious self-worth issues would interact with the world and improve herself — or, at least realized after some experience writing Lilith that being aroace fit her, and let that inform much of her Season 2 arc.
Like, maybe I'm personally extra desperate for disabled a-specs in media, but honestly? Lilith is a well-written one in all aspects but the lack of an onscreen "I've never felt attraction to someone" — and you don't have to agree with me, but I'll die on the hill that that all counts for something.
No hate to OP — if you know what post I'm vagueing about, be chill and normal about it, please. It's fine for some people not to feel represented, and put their thoughts out there — but it also seems that I, as a person who feels very represented, should put out some of my own thoughts for balance.
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ressonancee · 10 months
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THEN I WILL BLOSSOM FOR YOU
Seokmin can't really explain why, sure you both are attractive, you guys make a cute couple, and you guys have chemistry, but none of that explains why Seokmin feels so fucking curious, it doesn't explain why he feels like he is trained to watch you two from afar.
✦ LEE SEOKMIN, YOON JEONGHAN - f!reader ✦ genre: smut (minors don't interact) ✦ word count: 5.2k ✦ title inspired by Carly Ra Jepsen - No drug like me
✦ Thea note: My mind is a vast place and sometimes conjures images that I think oh nice everybody needs to hear about this! and you guys can argue, and can make a 3 pages letter but in my head seokmin is jeonghan's favorite - and jeonghan knows that love is sharing so 🫶also @userelv hope you enjoy this
✦ Content warning: threesome, slight degradation (?), please everyone be safe and sound use condoms!!!, cum eating, penis in vagina sex, I feel like we need a warning like Jeonghan is crazy kind of thing, also mention of hell (i was raised catholic we see a wrongdoing we think of hell), also there is little seokmin x jeonghan action so there is that, also seokmin is horny for them both so just to make that clear, so yeah homoerotic action and subtext just to make it clear
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Seokmin is a nice guy.
Seokmin is known for being a nice guy. And Seokmin likes being a nice guy, he actually thrives at being nice. The nicest. 
He likes being well-loved, nicely treated, being told he is the nicest person ever. He loves it, and he works himself to be even nicer.
So when Jeonghan shows up with a girlfriend, Seokmin does what he is best known for: he is nice, the fucking nicest person ever.
But why he feels so fucked up in the head when he is just being nice?
Seokmin feels fucked up in the head every time you go near him, and it is even worse when Jeonghan is right there at your side. Seokmin feels fucked up when you guys go to a nice club, nice enough for idols to go and not have pics all over the internet. And thanks god for that because half of the night Jeonghan's hands are under your skirt, and his lips are on your neck. And Seokmin feels fucked up because somehow he can't take his eyes off you both. Seokmin watches the way Jeonghan's hands are on your hips, or hiding beneath your clothes. Seokmin watches the way you claw onto Jeonghan's arms, and he also watches when you get a little tipsy and it's your lips on Jeonghan's jaw, leaving an open-mouthed kiss on it, tugging Jeonghan's hair and making your boyfriend give you more.
Seokmin feels fucked up in the head because you and Jeonghan are in a two years relationship, and his eyes still are glued to you two when you both are together. Seokmin can't really explain why, sure you both are attractive, you guys make a cute couple, and you guys have chemistry, but none of that explains why Seokmin feels so fucking curious, it doesn't explain why he feels like he is trained to watch you two from afar.
So when Jeonghan calls Seokmin and asks if he wants to come over eat something and watch a movie Seokmin does what he does best; he is a fucking nice guy and he says yes, dreading his answer when Jeonghan hangs up. And when time comes Seokmin does what he also has been doing so diligently, he watches how you both lay on the couch, you between Jeonghan's legs, how Jeonghan hands don't stop caressing you for a minute, and how you whine softly, Seokmin's ears almost not catching the sound.
And Seokmin thinks Jeonghan knows. To Jeonghan, Seokmin has always been an open book, a transparent vase, easy to read, easy to decode. Jeonghan must know, right? But if Jeonghan knows why Seokmin is the only one always invited? Why Jeonghan keeps calling him and asking if he is free? Why the hell Jeonghan calls Seokmin and ask if he wants to go to the beach? Why the hell would Jeonghan ask if Seokmin want to joy in a villa with them? That seems like the nicest trip to a couple - beaches, bikinis, cocktails, and a nice hotel bed, and none of that should include Seokmin. 
So when Seokmin says "Sure hyung" he doesn't think he is fucked up in the head, he knows that he is clinically and undoubtedly fucked up in the head. Being a nice guy fucked him up.
When Seokmin sits in the backseat he knows for a fact that he is dumb and he almost opens the door and throws himself in ongoing traffic when he remembers that you guys planned a four days trip.
"It's going to be so fun!" You say excitedly and turning to give Seokmin a big smile, and he can see how Jeonghan's hand rest on your thigh, and he can see how you are already using a bikini because he can see the way it's tied around your neck.
"Sure," Seokmin tries to match your excitement because he can't really say how this is the worst idea ever "I hope it doesn't rain."
"It won't we checked the weather," Jeonghan says looking at Seokmin through the rearview mirror.
Seokmin thinks that trip is exactly what his personal hell looks like. Hell crafted just for him, like a special present handed by Satan. Because he always feels Jeonghan searching for him in the rearview mirror, and Seokmin feels like he can get caught.
He can actually feel Jeonghan's eyes on him every time Seokmin looks at his hand on your leg. And Seokmin doesn't really know why, but he thinks he is obsessed. Every time Jeonghan caresses your skin Seokmin feels a tug in his chest. And in a way, Seokmin can't make himself look out the car window and enjoy the scenery. He can't bring himself to pick up his phone and just find something to keep him entertained.
It's not like he didn't question himself in the begging. He did, but he still didn't know why. He asked if it was jealousy, he asked himself if it was curiosity. He asked himself if it was because of you, or because of Jeonghan. Seokmin was about to check the boxes with the option all of the above.
Seokmin even spent an entire night thinking about if he was jealous of the relationship, of the idea of it. But he ended up jerking off because he replayed every single intricate memory that was stored in his brain. And Seokmin could feel them on the tip of his tongue, every time he replayed a touch, a soft spoken word, a smile or a glance.
He can't pinpoint really. When he realizes he is knee-deep in the water and he continues to enter the sea even tho the waves get stronger and stronger.
The car ride itself is not that awful. In Seokmin's mind, it was worse, like him popping a boner in the backseat every time Jeonghan and you touched, but it's not that bad, and he thinks that's because you sleep 30 minutes in. Seokmin thinks he knows Jeonghan enough, he knows that Jeonghan is mischievous, and he knows Jeonghan likes to banter. But Seokmin also knows Jeonghan enough to know that Jeonghan gives exactly what you can take, not a single drop more of what you can handle. And Seokmin knows that's why Jeonghan just enjoys the music and focuses on the drive, because if you are sleeping that's no fun - Jeonghan needs someone who can actually squirm and put up a fight, even tho everyone knows Jeonghan will win at the end.
And that's why Seokmin is sure that Jeonghan must know.
When Seokmin opens up the door to his room he realizes he can actually breathe and relax. The villa is cozy, with a nice private pool, and houses that look like little bungalows, and is so close to the beach that Seokmin can actually smell the sea. 
But Seokmin's peace and quiet don't actually last that much, with Jeonghan knocking on the door and urging him to change clothes and go to the pool. Jeonghan excitedly said to Seokmin that he basically ordered the whole drinks menu.
Seokmin thinks he is in the bad place. Everything is beautiful, and amazing actually, but the only thing he can think of is that he is sure he is going to hell. He is going to spend eternity in the flames. He is going to see the devil face to face because the way he can see your nipples on the fabric of that excuse you call a bikini makes his mouth water and his dick hard really. 
If that wasn't enough for him to earn a ticket to hell the fact that your boyfriend is right there seated on Seokmin's side with a drink in his hand seals the deal.
That makes Seokmin feels fucked up in the head, makes Seokmin feels dirty and filthy because even if Jeonghan is right there, Seokmin's eyes are on your body every step you take until you seat right there - arms reach but on Jeonghan's side.
"The water is pretty good you guys should give it a go." You say twisting your hair in the hope the droplets don't get everywhere before picking up a drink, and Seokmin can actually see the water droplets travel on your skin.
"I'm okay enjoy the view really," Jeonghan says voice lewd, and Jesus Seokmin is going to hell for sure.
"Jeonghan-" You scold giving your boyfriend a little shove and the only thing Seokmin can focus on is how Jeonghan's smile opens up and how his hands rest on your waist, pushing your body against his.
"What? Didn't even say anything" Jeonghan replies.
"Anyway, we should ignore him," you say to Seokmin, and he thinks his life would be easier if he could ignore the way that Jeonghan's hand is resting on your hips, against your bikini bottom. "Come on, you should have fun with me and leave him alone, he would probably die in five minutes"
And Seokmin knows that's not what you mean. You are talking about the pool, he is sure of it, but Seokmin's mind is big and vast, and he can think of every possibility of what having fun mean. And the way you say it, the way your voice rings against Seokmin's ear doesn't help Seokmin's states really.
"Don't be mean," Jeonghan says giving your shoulder a kiss but eyes focused on Seokmin, "Seokmin is having a hard time already."
And it's all so fucked up really that Seokmin don't even feel entitled to feel mad, to get angry, to answer Jeonghan and say that playing with his feeling like that Is wrong. Because to be honest, Seokmin is in no position to do so. Seokmin is always there, of course, because they invite him to be there, but again he could've said no. Every time they go out Seokmin is like the third piece of the puzzle. Seokmin is always too close when hands wander, or when lips crash, he lost count of it really. 
And when Jeonghan says things like that Seokmin can't really go against it, because yes he is having a hard time, he is always going against his urge to get dick hard when the topic is his friend and his girlfriend. So yeah, Seokmin is having a hard time because every time he sees Jeonghan's hand against your skin he doesn't actually feel the need to break that contact, to tear you two apart, but he feels the urge to put his hand on top - to be in this together. 
This is even more fucked up because Seokmin knows that maybe the voyeur experience is allowed, but to take part in it is another whole story.
So when Jeonghan is by his side after taking a shower and fixing himself up for dinner Seokmin feels like he is one step away from having convulsions, two steps of just dying right there. 
"What?" He asks as if he didn't hear, or didn't understand, but in reality, he heard Jeonghan just fine, but his mouth is dry and his heart skipped a beat.
"I mean," Jeonghan blocked his phone and gave Seokmin his full attention. "I think I am not wrong right? You are into my girlfriend or am I reading all wrong?"
"Hyung," Seokmin tries to start already feeling like he fucked up everything. Head falling and hand gripping the nearest furniture, grip so strong his digits are white. "It's not really-"
"I mean," Jeonghan cuts him and Seokmin doesn't even feel angry, he feels relieved really because what the fuck he was going to say? "for us it's not a problem really, I am not the jealous type, and if you actually say that you are not into her and I have to delivery that news to her she is probably gonna cry." 
"What?" Is the only thing Seokmin can say really. Because the words leaving Jeonghan's mouth are altering Seokmin's brain. And he thinks for a second Jeonghan is trying to mess with him, because that would be something that Jeonghan could do, but when Seokmin thinks and ponders he doesn't see Jeonghan as a mean person. Scratch that, Seokmin doesn't see Jeonghan as downright sadistic.
"Yeah, I'm telling you, why aren't you believing in me? Did I have lied to you?" Jeonghan says, voice still low and taking a step to get closer, and the only thing Seokmin can think is how he wants to just run away. "Oh wait. yeah probably, but like not in a serious setting involving you fucking my girlfriend so-" Jeonghan continues but Seokmin is so on his own head, in a way he feels so aware of everything, the way he finds weird how his eyes are blinking, or how he is aware of his own breathing rhythm - in a way he never actually cared about breathing outside the stage or studio. "what I mean is I heard about how hot you are for what feels like a decade."
"I-" Seokmin tries to answer but even his mouth feels weird, his tongue dry, his brain not forming words in the same way he is used to. His mind is just a blank space, and Seokmin thinks that Jeonghan finally won, Jeonghan broke his brain.
"Look this is weird, I know I am begging you to fuck my girlfriend but you need to step up," Jeonghan says, having the audacity to give Seokmin's back a little tap of encouragement. "Do you want me to join? Do you have any things you won't do? I mean I can totally watch in the side even tho cuckolding is not really my thing but what can I do? I am a man in love I do anything to make my girl happy"
"What the fu-" Seokmin says voice small
"Hey are you guys ready? I think the uber is arriving" You say like Jeonghan was not talking about Seokmin fucking you, you say like the three of you are just having a funny vacation on a villa, a few days to distress, to re-energize. Seokmin tho feels like he just lost a whole year, actually, five years, his longevity will be fucked up after this trip.
"Oh? Already?" Jeonghan answers putting his hand on the small of your back. "I was just having a great chat with Seok here."
And Seokmin is aware of everything.
He did suspect that Jeonghan knew. The thoughts always plagued his mind. But now that he knows that Jeonghan knows about everything just unlock another dimension on Seokmin's brain, and the fact that Jeonghan's words left him hyper-aware of everything doesn't help.
Everything just seems like Jeonghan is trying to break Seokmin's mind. 
He suspects when the three of you hop in the backseat of the uber, you in the middle with Jeonghan manspreading, Seokmin thinks it's intentional the way that Jeonghan makes you shift to Seokmins side, the way that Jeonghan arm just rests against the backseat so near Seokmin's nape. Seokmin thinks it's intentional every time the uber does a sharp turn you lean on his leg, hand hot against his thigh and he was insane enough to just wear shorts.
Seokmin thinks it's intentional when Jeonghan chooses a table that is almost hidden, in a dark corner of the restaurant, near the beach. Seokmin thinks it's intentional the way Jeonghan always leans to whisper something in your ear but his eyes not leaving Seokmin, the way that you hold Jeonghan's jaw so delicately makes Seokmin melt against his chair. The way that Seokmin can't make himself look away makes him question his own sanity.
Seokmin knows it's intentional when Jeonghan just keeps reordering wine for you and Seokmin's favorite soju. Seokmin knows it's intentional when every time Jeonghan mouths brush against your ear you look at Seokmin, both your and Seokmin's face red. 
Seokmin knows it's intentional when you hold his hand, it's a silly gesture really, just two of your fingers intertwined with Seokmin's when they back to the villa. And Seokmin knows it's intentional when you don't let go of his hand even tho Jeonghan is kissing you, body pressed against the door.
And again Seokmin can't bring himself to look away, can't bring himself to distance himself, so when Jeonghan leaves your mouth and trails kisses to your jaw and neck and you tug Seokmin's hands he just gives in.
Seokmin knows that he never really had a chance or the strength to say no.
Because in the next second you are kissing him, position weird enough because Jeonghan is right there, and Seokmin thinks he is crazy but the way he can feel the whisky and wine mixed together on your tongue, the faint trace of Jeonghan makes his whole world spin. 
"Do we-" You finally say when your mouth leaves Seokmin's but hand still holding him, fingers hot against his wrist. "Hannie" You say trying to get Jeonghan's attention and Seokmin realizes how your boyfriend is still on your neck, hands against your hips, almost rutting against you. "don't we need to talk about it?" 
And Seokmin again feels his mouth dry, his tongue weird on his mouth. Seokmin knows that everything about this is wrong, he just kissed his friend's girlfriend. He can feel how hot it is, how his clothes cling to his skin, how he can feel the warmth radiating from you and Jeonghan, how your hand doesn't leave his arm. And for the first time in a while, Seokmin just give up on being nice, and he just kiss you again, feeling the urge to just act for once and leave his head. 
And your hand finally leaves his arms, but just to grip on Seokmin's nape and he feels like you and him are just hanging for dear life, one step wrong and you both could fall. 
Because the way Jeonghan feels against your body, the way his mouth feels against your skin feels amplified when Seokmin's mouth is against yours. 
And in a way, it just feels too much already. The feeling of two bodies against yours, the way Seokmin feels against you - totally different of the way Jeonghan does. The way that the unknown feels in Seokmin's touch and the familiar feeling of Jeonghan by your side makes it hard to grasp. 
"fuck-" Jeonghan's voice rings against the silence making your mouth and Seokmin's disconnect. "you two are so hot together but really I think the bedroom is a better place."
So that's how Seokmin is pulled to the bedroom by you, hands-on Seokmin's biceps and Seokmin feels grateful he is hitting the gym regularly, but Seokmin also is so aware that he can feel your need to touch him, hand squeezing his muscle and almost leaving an imprint on it.
Seokmin thinks the whole world is enhanced. Like his touch and his vision just increased, like he has a new set of senses and he is just discovering now. Because when you tug on his clothes the sensation of it against his skin feels new to him. Because when his eyes land on Jeonghan's fingers opening up your dress, feels new to him. And when you speak your voice feels foreign, because he never heard you like that, panting and begging.
"Can you take this off?" You ask so prettily that Seokmin almost sinks on his knee but in contrast to that Jeonghan just giggles.
"Since when are you polite during sex?" Jeonghan asks still laughing but not stopping opening your buttons and Seokmin can see your boobs peeking through the fabrics.
"Jeonghan" You complain.
"Just because we have visits she is behaving nicely" Seokmin feels fucked up in the head because it's a level of intimacy he never actually saw, a whole new experience that he never actually taped into. And in a way, Seokmin feels so close to his personal hell he can actually feel the flames burning his skin - the funny thing is he doesn't actually care anymore. 
Seokmin actually hears your pained whimper when he takes a step away to take his shirt off, but that's what needs to be done really, and because Seokmin is so fucking eager to please he just get his short off but then he feels your hand splayed against his stomach. 
"God you are so hot" You say before giving him a kiss and Seokmin's head starts spinning because one second all his focus is on how you lick his mouth but then your hands are on his boxers, and then he hears Jeoghan.
"Seokmin is pretty right? Go on praise him." And the thought that Seokmin thought he knew Jeonghan flickers in Seokmin's mind because that Jeonghan too is a new version Seokmin never experienced, a Jeonghan he never saw.
"Can I suck you off?" You ask, already palming Seokmin's dick, hand inside his boxes, with Jeonghan glued on your back, kissing your shoulder, and working on your bra strap. 
Seokmin is not a difficult guy really when a pretty girl asks to suck his dick he goes haywire, mind fucked up and body limp, so when you give him a little push he just melts, his knee gives away and he just sits on the bed because really that's the only reaction he can do.
Seokmin feels like his brain is almost leaking out of his ears because the image of you on your knees between his leg is almost enough to make him cum. Just the fact that you, his friend's girlfriend is sitting so pretty between his leg is so fucked up Seokmin need to close his hand against the base of his dick trying to not cum right there.
"Fuck" You start to nuźzle his thigh. Hands still on the floor, mouth open, tongue tracing Seokmin's thigh. "God I love your thighs they are so big." You say giving Seokmin's thigh a little kiss.
"Come on baby, you can do better than that," Jeonghan says kneeling behind you, and now Seokmin knows he is going to hell or going crazy. Jeonghan grabs your boobs - the bra still acting like an obstacle in Seokmin's view, and the need to actually see Jeonghan's skin against yours makes Seokmin crazy.
Seokmin feels your teeth graze against his skin he can feel himself leaking, dick so fucking hard it almost hurts, head already gone - he can't even think about what is right and what is wrong anymore. 
"You can praise Seok a little better or at least say thanks to him because he is fulfilling your crazy fantasy" Jeonghan says fingers thigh against your stomach, while the other is still grabbing your boob. And oh god Seokmin is jealous, he is jealous of Jeonghan touching you like that, he is jealous of you being so at ease moaning head against Jeonghan's shoulder, he is jealous of you two and the relationship you both build. And Seokmin thinks he is the worst person ever.
"Oh god baby you are already this dumb? You want Seokmin so much you are already in this state? He didn't even fucked you properly." The way Jeonghan speaks makes you and Seokmin whimper in unison, both failing to hide the neediness.
"Come on, open up." And Jeonghan's digits tap against your lips, and his other hand guides your head in Seokmin's direction. And when you lap on his dick Seokmin almost cries. Because you are so fucking beautiful, hair held by Jeonghan, lips swollen, and you look so fucked up. And that should be enough for Seokmin really, but then Jeonghan starts again;
"That's it, baby, take Seokmin's pretty cock in your mouth I know you can do it," He says eyes glued on your mouth enveloping Seokmin. "You talked so much about how he must have a nice cock right? Now that you have the opportunity you need to choke on Seokmin's dick right? So fucking big-" 
And Seokmin goes crazy every time Jeonghan says his name, and every time he feels your lips rubbing against his cockhead Seokmin he feels really close to insanity. And when you actually gag a little because Seokmin's hips twitched, Seokmin thinks he has nothing to lose.
"God you are drooling you really wanted that dick in your mouth, right babe?" Jeonghan continues, but now Seokmin can see the way his hand disappears between your legs, your panty hanging between your thighs. "Poor you," Jeonghan coos, and Seokmin can feel the way you just swallow and hums against his dick. "Did Seokmin was too hard for you to get? But now he is here, baby go on, choke on his dick." And Jeonghan's hand leaves your hair to caress your cheek, and the juxtaposition of Seokmin's hard dick against your mouth and Jeonghan's acts make everything so wrong.
When Seokmin hips buckle he knows he is so close to cumming that he can almost taste it, he closes his eyes and waits but his orgasm is ruined it never arrives, and when he looks down Jeonghan's hand is on his shaft, fingers tight against his base. "You can't cum now, she likes when we cum inside her."
"God," Seokmin says, hand tugging his own hair. "this is fucked up"
"How do you want her?" Jeonghan asks like he is talking about furniture or about Seokmin's laundry.
"Shouldn't you be asking her that?" Seokmin asks because really he is taking what he can get, he isn't picky. But you look almost so out of it really Seokmin almost laughs in disbelief because you and Jeonghan are always bickering - but now your body is so pliant against Jeonghan, his hand still going between your legs.
"Not really I know she will enjoy it in any way but-" Jeonghan hands stop and Seokmin can hear you whine, and Seokmin's eyes don't blink when Jeonghan helps you to get on your feet. "She can ride you, I mean this way is better for me to watch."
Jeonghan says patting Seokmin's thigh so Seokmin can lie on the bed, and when Seokmin's back hit the mattress Seokmin feels your mouth against his, and he can actually taste himself on your tongue. And the way you kiss him, almost lazily makes his hand claw at your waist. And when Seokmin feels your legs caging him in, thighs against his hips he just wants to enjoy what he is feeling. And when you whimper against Seokmin's mouth because his dick is finally against your folds Seokmin just gives up.
When you actually sink into his dick Seokmin can almost taste his downfall.
"Fuck-" Jeonghan says tugging at his own dick. When did Jeonghan get naked? Seokmin has no fucking idea. He just grabs your legs and focuses on the way that you feel, your body against him, because if he thinks too much about how your mouth is hanging open at the sight of Jeonghan's dick he may malfunction. "You are so pretty together, gonna keep this going, you guys can fuck anytime if you let me watch it." 
"Hanie" you moan and the fact that Seokmin dicks on you but you are moaning another name makes his head spin - he is a nice guy, he has nice guy bones, he is a nice guy down to his core and he has nice guy cells why the fuck he is partaking in this situation?
It just feels so fucking wrong. 
It feels wrong the way you call Jeonghan and the way Seokmin can feel your pussy clench when you and Jeonghan kiss. It feels wrong the way your hands grab Seokmin's pecs when Jeonghan kisses your jaw. 
"You can cum on her, she likes it messy."
It feels wrong the way every word that leaves Jeonghan's mouth makes you and Seokmin twitch at the same time, hips buckling. And Seokmin feels like he is so close to hell, but when Jeonghan actually uses his body to help you keep your body straight he knows he is lost for eternity really, Seokmin knows he never gonna experience anything close to that. When Jeonghan's hand travels on your body, digits lazily on your clit Seokmin just lets everything goes.
Because everything is so fucked up he can't actually take it, the way you keep chasing even after Seokmin is done, and the way that Jeonghan keeps coaching you until you cum makes Seokmin's mind spin. 
The way Jeonghan just laughs when he helps you chase positions, body spent is so fucking crazy to Seokmin he can't wrap his mind around it. And when you chase Seokmin's mouth to give him a kiss when your back hit the mattress doesn't help Seokmin's state of mind.
"Come on princess, my turn now," Jeonghan says, again doing what he wants to your body, and opening your legs so he can put himself in between. Seokmin can't wrap his head around this either, he never actually thought about how Jeonghan could manhandle you. "Gonna fill you up too don't worry." 
The way that you touch Seokmin's body when Jeonghan enters you make Seokmin swallow nothing. Seokmin never really saw himself as a voyeur, even tho he was always watching, but the way Jeonghan fucks you so slowly and the way Seokmin can hear you whimper just make him crazy all over again. The way you actually hold Seokmin's hand for dear life, the way that Seokmin can touch you while watching takes everything to a new level. And when Seokmin can actually tell you are close he thinks he can't get even more fucked up.
Seokmin feels like the world just stopped for a second or two after Jeonghan cums, everything gets so silent and so still that Seokmin starts to question what is real.
"Come on baby," Jeonghan says and Seokmin looks even tho he thinks Jeonghan is talking to you, but to his surprise, Jeonghan is talking to him, because Jeonghan's free hands are turned to him. 
So Seokmin does what a fucking nice guys does, he complies.
Seokmin gets closer, and Seokmin thinks he can cum again, untouched, because your pussy is so fucking messy, cum dripping out of your hole and dripping on Jeonghan's fingers, and Jeonghan gives Seokmin a little smile and fuck the cum back to you, you squirming because you are so fucking sensitive. "Come on Seok you need to clean up the mess we made." 
And Seokmin feels like he is about to collapse and drop dead because he is so spent how is he feeling horny again? But he does what Jeonghan says, he licks your pussy, cleaning and fucking his tongue on your hole trying to put everything back. "please I-" you say but Seokmins ignores it, continuing his job, cleaning up the mess that he and Jeonghan did. 
"Oh, baby is sensitive?" Jeonghan coos. "Maybe next time you think about wanting two cocks baby. Or maybe next time Seokmin may stretch your ass to give this pussy a rest." Jeonghan says and Seokmin puts his mouth against your clit, lapping at it, because just to think about a next time is enough to make him actually cry "Fuck, you are such a whore," Jeonghan laughs "Do you want to come in Seokmin's mouth thinking about his dick on your ass?" And Seokmin can see you two kissing when he still eating you out. "God look at him, he keeps going."
"You guys are perverts," Jeonghan says like he was not involved in the whole scheme. Laying on the bed, spent, Seokmin keeps going until you cum against his tongue.
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