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#sorry im ranting in tags it's just i gotta let it out man
unintentionaloracle · 2 years
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Seth would've been more fun for me personally (and could've used the W like he doesn't have to win every match but I'd love for him to get a big win again) and I think you could've had a fun storyline with Sami as the MITB winner tied with his Bloodline/honorary Uce angle but yeah sure let's continue to blatantly give The Golden Boy Heir Apparent freaking everything like you couldn't even wait a whole PPV...
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de4dlyniightshade · 3 months
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꩜ HEADCANON/BRAINROT MASTERLIST!
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EXCUSE HOW MESSY THIS IS BUT I TRIED MY BEST TO KEEP IT AS ORGANISED AS POSSIBLE!
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IF YOU ARE INSPIRED TO WRITE A FIC BASED OFF ANY OF THESE PLEASE TAG ME! I'D LOVE TO SEE IT!
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click here for!: "I just imagine that like Spencer HATES being vocal but the boys so sensitive he can't help but moan like a whore"
click here for!: "I read the vocal Spencer hcs and I saw u wrote Abt him being the Prince of overstimulation, you got any more hcs revolving that? (And/or aftercaree🙏)"
click here for!: "Y'all think Reid would make himself one of your Christmas presents? Like, he'd either ruin you or let you ruin him."
click here for!: "just thinking about dom!spencer taking our virginity 😔😔😔 i want him"
click here for!: "Y'all ever think Abt how pretty Spencer would be in lingerie? Like both Baby Reid AND Later szns Reid. LIKE BABY BLUE PANTIES ONG??"
click here for!: "Spencer is such a sub u know he kneels at his partners feet and does whatever they tell him too"
click here for!: "i loveeee your headcannons for spencer!! can we get some for service-softdom!spencer?"
click here for!: "I wonder how Spencer would react to being denied orgasming🤨"
click here for!: "ok this kinda contradicts your latest post, but what about hcs about reader faking orgasm for whatever reason and when spencer finds out he makes it up to her 😻😻 idk just an idea"
click here for!: "ilysm and ur writing omg mamas (u have no idea who I am #parasocialrelationshipcore) BUT im like A SUPER FAN ☝️😫 anyway, ma'am, i had a sudden deep and absolutely CARNAL need inside of me- and how better to solve that emptiness with your headcanons?? 😍 OKAY, so the vision was like basically how spencer would act if you like praised something about him a lot like you emphasize it sm, YK? like say u said his lips were pretty or like his style is *chef's kiss* LIKE HOW WOULD HE REACT TO THIS INFORMATION?!! DOES HE THINK ABT IT OR IS HE COCKY OR WHAT? i need this man on a scary level omfg I'm so down baddddd THE D IS FIRE! also UGH i love your headcanons like they're literally my thoughts except like they're BETTER. que yummi (sorry for allat btw I'm a yapper if u couldn't alr tell)"
click here for!: "I imagine sub Spencer would be literally rock hard by just being allowed to touch you, like he LOVES when you let him touch or kiss you anywhere he wants"
click here for!: "I need sweetheart Spencer headcannons. I gotta hear about this guys sweet little habits and his love language frfr"
click here for!: "may i request some hair pulling hcs for our bbyboy bc i have a feral need to knot my fingers in his pretty hair regardless of the era and pull until there are tears in his eyes"
click here for!: "Post!prison Reid being an absolute sweetheart headcannons PLEASEEEE🤞"
click here for!: "Giving Spencer head hcs please mama🙇"
click here for!: "Headcanons request: Spencer’s dream partner. What do you think is important to him? Do you think he has a “type”? And since you mentioned him and I JUST got the movie to watch - any fun headcanons for Chip??"
click here for!: "Right, this is the weirdest thought i’ve ever had but how would Spencer (any era you prefer) react to reader buying him boxers with her face on😭 We all know that this man wears the weirdest shit under those sweater vests. I apologise 😭"
click here for!: "Do you think Spencer would let you eat their ass? Rim jobs and all that? Headcanon request 🫣"
click here for!: "I need the most back-arching, kitty clenching, slick tip hcs you have for Spencer. Him in lingere, him buried 7.5 inches deep inside you, him cumming so hard he can't think, everything."
click here for!: "Just sending in a headcanon request for anything you want to rant about. Spencer, Lana, Spencer and Lana. You know, everything important. -🐈‍⬛"
click here for!: "thoughts on spencer and the reader coming out to each other as bisexual? thanks <3 btw i love your writing 🫶🏼"
click here for!: "i beg for ur thoughts on! spence with a touchstarved s/o? also possibly a touch averse s/o? (i am both and it's so fucking confusing like hug me but also if u touch my shoulder i will Cry)"
click here for!: "Do you think Spencer likes just normal prostate massages and toys or that he has to be pegged? HCs for that whole subject. Like if you buy him a vibrating toy and bend him over, what does he do? Pleaseeee"
click here for!: "Idk if you've done anything like this (i just followed you recently) but what do you think Spencer would be like when he's see you naked for the first time? Personally i think he'd just stare in awe and his eyes would slowly go over every little curve and edge as he takes it all in and might even pull you into his arms in a loving embrace as he just needs to feel your warm bare skin :(("
click here for!: "ok but would spencer ever be ashamed/shy about any kinks he has... like i feel like he'd be totally over-analysing everything and just burying himself into a hole until he finally blurts out his concerns and his s/o says 'why would i ever judge u bby???', and he's like :0 ps i love your hcs & ur fics 🫶"
click here for!: "have you ever seen that tiktok/reel of that guy talking abt how it's rly hot that when girls sit down their thighs 'double' in size, and all the girls in the cmmts r like 'wait rly I'm super insecure abt that 😭?!?!" and I was 🤔 if you could do smth w that for spencer! ty so much, if not feel free to ignore this! 🫶🫶"
click here for!: "Just imagine,, Spencer getting back from a long case (maybe two or three week long) and all he wants to do is melt into you. Like, he wants his mommy, but he's too scared to ask for anything so he's a bit whiny😩"
click here for!: "at this point i have a passive 'slutty spencer' train of thought just so i can send u asks about him anyway could u bless us with some needy spence trying not to wake u up but failing dismally bc he wasn't trying that hard anyway bc he wants ur attention so bad"
click here for!: "Was doing my psych hw last night thinking about how professor!Spencer would 10000% help u with your psychology work for his class … and maybe dick warm with u for a little motivation 🥹🥹"
click here for!: "I don’t think I’ve seen you do this headcanon, and since I stalk your page and reread everything like a weirdo (you’re such a good writer), but like…. Headcanons for Spencer Reid as a dad? Doesn’t have to be married, or he can be if you want. Just like…. Little early seasons Reid having a kid(s) vs later seasons Reid. Would he care if they inherited his intelligence? (Also like, breeding kink? Pregnancy kink? Lactation kink? Im sure there are more kinks related to this??) I need all your thoughts for real 😂😭"
click here for!: "hi can you do post prison spencer reid finds out that reader is a virgin"
click here for!: "Hiiii <3 big fan, love your work. Any thoughts on Spencer letting his submission show? not in a nsfw way, but still a bit scandalous. If you've seen The Secretary (i cannot recommend that movie enOUGH) you'll know what i mean lol"
click here for!: "i just wanna fucking play wrestle with spencer so bad 😣 i need that scrawny nerd to tackle my chubby ass and then i wanna pin him down and forget why we were doing this in the first place and messily make out with him. i guess i do have a nerdy man at my disposal anytime (my boyfriend) but he’s no fun. makes me have to imagine a fictional man 👎👎👎"
click here for!: "Do you think Spencer has a ‘type’?"
click here for!: "Mommy kink Spencer Reid. I just need all your thoughts because on one hand hello momma issues and on the other he has a psych degree and he is hyper aware of himself, and internalizes everythinggggg (You’re the HC OverLord/Lady/Pronoun of your choice and we all serve you)"
click here for!: "Thoughts on pervy reid? Like baby reid-season 12 is probably a hugeeee perv and then post-prison reid, the perviest perv of all of the pervy’s. But not like a creepy perv, like a perv with his s/o. I just said perv so many times that it doesn’t even sound real anymore"
click here for!: "IMAGINE GIVING SUB!SPENCER HEAD.. Like just IMAGINEEE?? Baby Reid, Glasses Reid, Post Prison Reid. Baby Reid, never had head before, would moan LOUDLY. like the slut he is. Thrusting up into your mouth and shit, each time you flatten your tounge over the head of his pretty cock he'd fucking CRYYYY from the sensations. Glasses Reid, would be fogging up those cute little fucking glasses from how much he pants. Would either guide your head just how he likes or would give your hair small tugs. But Post Prison Reid? God, He'd be so starved he'd whine and whimper through the whole thing, gently rubbing your jaw as you suck him off."
click here for!: "how long do you think spencer lasts in bed and how big is he"
click here for!: "Thoughts on touch starved spencer with a touchy gf?"
click here for!: "do you think spencer reid jerks off"
click here for!: "could i please have some hcs for how spence would react if his autistic s/o kept getting cut off when they were talking about a special interest? ty bestie i love ur writing sm"
click here for!: "Thoughts on Spencer being a horny little guy that just wants to cum? Hand, thigh, ass, leg, you got it and he's probably humping it🤷‍♀️"
click here for!: "more thoughts on spencer with a smart reader? i’m such a slut for him id learn anything just to have a conversation with him"
click here for!: "Thoughts on autistic Spencer? I know it’s ‘technically’ canon but I want to know what you think"
click here for!: "just thinking about sitting behind sub spence and helping him get off...maybe his hands are tied behind him and he's just sitting there squirming and sobbing cause you keep edging him, the poor thing. he'll start twitching madly almost at his high only for you to stop stroking and he's back to crying, begging to cum"
click here for!: "hcs of reid x reader recovering from wisdom tooth surgery? I got all 4 of mine out yesterday and it's so painful"
click here for!: "ONG I NEED MORE TRANS SPENCER HCS?? NSFW, IF THE BOY GOT TOP/BOTTOM SURGERY, ETC. ANY AND EVERYTHING."
click here for!: "wait.. vhs collector spencer?? thoughts? (or any vintage/old technology thing really) - 💐"
click here for!: "Personal HC bc i’m a little crafty girl but I think Spencer would LOVE making pompoms and shit like that. We already know that he loves to knit and i think he’s just a little crafter"
click here for!: "Hello, amazing writer and human being!!! Headcanons for what pegging Reid would be like? Like is he embarrassed to ask, does he bring it up or do you? Is it only when he wants to be completely dominated or the norm? Just all the thoughts because Spencer is both a certified munch and someone who deserves to be pegged til he can’t think!!"
click here for!: "HOLD ON YOU WRITE FOR CHIP TAYLOR?? GOD, 68KILL IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE RN I LOVE CHIP. I absolutely NEED submissive hcs for him if you would be so kind as to shareeee🙏"
click here for!: "bestie could u spare a thought about spencer utterly worshipping u and being adorably determined to make u feel better when ur sad(bc i've been crying for like 3 hours on and off and i'm so tired)"
click here for!: "I absolutely NEED Spencer hcs for when you and him have sweet sex. Like, GOD, the way he'd whine for you, squirming and absolutely writhing as you just slowly stroke him while playing with his hair."
click here for!: "all I think about is Spencer x autistic reader, or just nuerodivergent reader and the bond that they would share. Ps ily💞"
click here for!: "I feel like Post-Prison Spencer would be a bit scared to do anything with you at first after got out but when he does let you touch him oh LAWD He'd whine and whimper through EVERYTHING. Bro would be CRYING, Tears streaming down his cheeks and a nearly pathetic sob slipping from those insanely beautiful lips each time you clench around him or brush over his tip with your thumb"
click here for!: "even though it is SO ooc, my little goblin brain has been stuck on stoner spencer. obsessed even. dying. 🧍‍♀️🤸‍♀️"
click here for!: "Spencer with his pregnant wife. She’s near her due date and he basically has to help her with **everything**"
click here for!: "Istg Spencer probably LOVES bathing with you or like showering together. Little domestic shit(but I also feel like he'd probably enjoy shower sex, seeing ur body wet from the water🙌)"
click here for!: "Spencer being a sensitive little whore that gets hard at the bounce of a boob got me thinkinh I bet this man needs to rub one out at work from time to time, but at home I swear this man probably couldn't keep his hands off his cock or you"
click here for!: "Spencer would be such a little horny man istg. Like he'd wake up from a wet dream and be hard as a ROCK in his pants."
click here for!: "I’d really just like to request your most feral Spencer Reid headcanons. SFW, NSFW, raunchy, tame - whatever. Just your like “I will fight anyone who disagrees, they are fact” type headcanons.(Because I reread all your headcanons and love every single one)"
click here for!: "Slutty Chip headcanons?? (Slutty Chip sounds like his name haaa)"
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knghtfall-blog1 · 5 years
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no  one’s  awake  but   get  ready  for  a   tag   rant  bc  i   really  do  want  it  to  be  clear  that  i  wanna  write  bruce  as  someone  who  has  made  so  many  mistakes  in  life,   and   has   not   only   learned  from   those  mistakes   but   Changed   because  of  them.   he’s   never  always  been  the  same  person,   he’s  not  someone  with  uncompromising  morals   &   philosophies  :   he  certainly  used  to  be  ,   but  like  i  said  :   change . 
#kelly clarkson vc so here's the thing .#comic book characters are v ....... Unique in terms of where they stand in the scope of character creation & development#literature by nature has always been written with the goal of exposing human nature through cautionary / morality tales#most content that is being created now (attempts) to Say Something about Life / People / Morals / The Duality of Man or smth#OR ......... you have the place in which superhero stories / content sits in : Power Fantasy#Wish Fulfillment And Escapism are what lie at the soul of superhero stories which is why theyre so popular rn bc#lets face it we're all Depression#HOWEVER ... because of that constant standard of a Story serving as wish fulfillment (which batman has always been lbr)#the story doesnt have to committ itself to natrual character development : ur supposed to project urself onto this character or this Life#u dont wanna be told that u need to change or that ur wrong and need to learn a lesson which is why i feel like dc is so WEIRD about#JSUT LETTING BRUCE REALIZE HIS OWN MISTAKES AND CHANGE ....... LIKE LET HIM GO THRU PHASES AND REALIZATIONS AND S T ICK TO THEM#LIKE ? A REGULAR CHARACTER OR A REGULAR PER  SON ?#like dc cant decide if bruce is GRITTY AND REAL or just Perfect Fantasy and they always land in the middle and its WORSE#BC THEYRE REALLY OUT HERE THINKING THEYRE DOING SMTH SLDKFJDSKL#anyways i gotta stop this is a whole novel im sorry dslkfjd buT I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE .........#LET HIM BE A DUMBASS DC .#tag rant /#long post /#mera's lukewarm takes /
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kojinnie · 3 years
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Something About Pain | Reiner Braun
Pairing: Reiner Braun x Reader (she/her pronoun)
Summary: You ran away from home and your boyfriend Reiner Braun is desperate to bring you home. When the two of you meet, you share a conversation about how pain inflicts the two of you differently.
Tags & Warning: Angst, (eventual) fluff, (mild) hurt/comfort, slow burn, major miscommunication problem, past trauma, abandonment issue, mention of anxiety, Reiner is a grumpy, hurt individual yet delicate inside | SFW
Word Count: 4.5K
A/N: Based on the request by @okubean for Twisted Match-Up! I hope you like it, boo! (More A/N at the end of the fic)
.::My Masterlist::.
Twisted Match-Up (x Reader): Zeke | Hange | Jean 
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There was a vivid look of worry on the face of Reiner Braun as he drove through the empty neighborhood streets. His right hand on the steering wheel, the other one tapping anxiously on the phone, dialing the same number over and over again to no avail.
All of his calls had gone straight to your mailbox, and his text messages were no longer delivered. Reiner came to realize that you've blocked him. "Idiot," he muttered to himself, cursing this whole modern affinity to accommodate people running from their problems easier. Reiner thought the feature was the stupidest thing ever created by humankind, he was pissed, but more annoyed. He realized how tired he was, and if he could, he'd rather be in bed right now. Not roaming your friend's neighborhood at ungodly hour.
"Where... the fuck... are you..." he was pissed, evident from the grunt as he tried one final desperate attempt to call you. It went straight to your mailbox. Your cheery voice didn't make him feel any better, if any, Reiner wished he could tell the mailbox-you to shut the hell up.
Reiner finally hit the brake, sighing annoyed. His black SUV stopped underneath the streetlamp, at a random neighborhood he could only vaguely remember. He had been here before, when he picked you up from your bestfriend's house after one of your "night out" with your friends from college, but he could barely remember which one of these identical suburban houses did she live.
He rested his forehead on the steering wheel, racking his brain trying to remember the house number. Is this even the correct cul-de-sac? There are tens others. Who the fuck came up with the concept of suburban housing? Strips and strips of uniformed houses. And even worse, who the fuck thought that it was such a great idea to live in one? Like some Stepford Wives nightmare. Reiner couldn't believe some people would save up money for all their lives to pay off their mortgage to live in complete conformity, like a communist utopia with capitalist credit system. Were these people right in the head or had their brains fucked over by the boring 9 to 5 jobs they've had for decades?
That's beside the point. Reiner sighed. He ranted a lot when frustrated.
He knew you'd be there, in one of these houses, curled up crying in your bestfriend's bed, perhaps pouring your heart out on how much of a bad boyfriend Reiner was. He knew because you've passed the micro-aggression millionth times, muttering under your breath, saying that you'd be fine if Reiner kicks you out because your bestfriend would take you. What kind of fuckery was all that? Why would he ever kick you out? Reiner thought. He was clueless. Why were you so adamant that he would leave you eventually? Reiner could feel his annoyance grew while reminiscing your antics. He began to think, maybe he had never understood you to begin with.
But Reiner was wrong, because he was right about a lot of things about you. You were exactly in your bestfriend's house, curled up in her bed, ranting how hard it was being with Reiner. Although the tears had dried since hours ago. You were in your PJs and drinking the hot coco your friend had made you, comfortable in the bliss of obliviousness upon the fact that your boyfriend of one year was now driving aimlessly trying to locate your position. You were adamant that he was going to leave you anyway, you thought he wouldn't exert an ounce of energy trying to plea you home.
It was 4 AM in the morning and you hadn't come home. The trace of you had gone completely from Reiner's apartment since early morning. Reiner knew that this was bound to happen, had he done anything differently - would you stay? He thought of you and the state that the two of you had been tangled in. All the unresolved tension, or the persistent insinuations coming from you that you always shrugged off in the end, saying "Nothing." as if it did not matter, each time Reiner shot them with, "What did you say?"
You sipped your hot coco and let a troubled whimper as you told your bestfriend what was happening. It's the culmination of small things, your feeling of inadequacy and the anxiety of waking up every morning, being convinced that each day would be the day that Reiner finally leaves you. Every day you’d be mentally preparing yourself for the ultimate fate until Reiner returns home with his big, warm hug until your anxiety caves in. And that the anxiety would appear again in the next morning.
The idea of him leaving became incessant and you could never bug it off. You wondered why, maybe because you believed that you were inherently flawed. Maybe it's the way Reiner made that small "Tsk," when he came home to see the garbage piled up, "Babe, didn't I tell you to put out the garbage?"; or the deep, annoyed and condescending sighs he made when he missed his favorite show because you forgot to pay the cable bills while he was out at the office.
Maybe it's the way you couldn't match his sharp memory and reliability with you constantly forgetting things and your seeming inattentiveness despite the abundant reminders, notes and alarms you've made to keep yourself alerted. At times, your mind just wandered, and you needed him to rope you back in, but he never got the gist.
So, you were adamant that you had grown to be nothing but inconvenience for him, hence when he spent the night over at his office due to what he called "Shit load of work" over the phone, you were certain he wouldn't come back at all. You knew that the pain of being abandoned would haunt you to myriad of miseries, so you'd rather leave first. You knew it would be the end you both needed, because you knew Reiner did not care about you enough to tolerate your shit any longer. He was always quiet, there was hardly ever any expression on his face, God knows what he was thinking underneath. Each of your "Reiner, I'm sorry." would only be met by a singular hum or a quick, "It's okay." that left you wondering, did he ever mean it at all?
So that morning you left. While he was still at the office, because you knew there was no feelings strong enough for Reiner to keep him from leaving you eventually. You left first.
Your bestfriend nodded in reassurance, "You gotta do what you gotta do." she said pulling you into a warmly hug, but your attention was suddenly caught by the pile of plastics and packages from your take-outs at the corner of your friend's room. It just bothered your mind, and you got up to take it out. A small token of atonement to what you wish you had done to Reiner.
Your bestfriend immediately scrambled and took the garbage away from you. Insisting for you to stay in bed and let her take care of it. You nodded and retreated to the pillow fortress. You felt bad for her because the temperature was dropping, and there was no necessity to take the garbage out right now, but your impulse was often hard to subside, and your friend had grown to acknowledge and take sympathy over that. Unlike Reiner, you thought.
Maybe it's because Reiner never shown anyone openly about what he felt, but what you did not know, sometimes he wish he had. Sometimes he wished he'd opened up about how hard it is for him to breathe when unfortunate things occur that he did not have the answer to. Sometime he wished he could share his fear, worry, anger and disappointment, but he was always thought that a man got to suck it up, and perseverance was the only way he knew how to survive.
Sometimes he wished he had told somebody that the constant worrying about his loved ones consumed him too, to the point it became hard for him to let his guard down even when things are okay. He was always on alert, and sometimes it got exhausting too for him. He wished he had told all that, so in times like these he did not have to assume the heartbreak alone while trying to find the solution to it. Sometimes he wished people knew that he cared too, he loved too, he knew too when someone he loved was struggling, but he never learned how to show it. Reiner knew your mind often raced hundreds of miles per hour, Reiner knew your state of agitation, but he never had anyone to teach him how affection should look like, other than be of service, which he tried his best at being. It was no wonder that Reiner was left clueless when you chose to leave without warning.
He was pissed because he knew how daft he was, yet none of it was ever intentional. He cursed himself for not knowing what went wrong, for not being more observant, for not being open with his feelings, for not telling you how much he had grown to love you and how much his apartment immediately grew cold at your absence. But mostly, at this moment, he cursed himself because he wasn't attentive enough to know you friend's house number.
The air was crisp when your bestfriend stepped out of her porch. She made quick steps to the garbage can when she saw bright headlights coming in from the end of the street. She grunted, wondering what was her neighbor doing, cruising around with dramatically low speed. It seemed odd.
She put her fingers above her eyes, trying to recognize the plate number or the driver, but the black SUV lights were dispersing her sight.
She closed the garbage can and tried to immediately return inside but the car cruised closer and pulled over in front of her. The window rolled open.
"Hey," There was an immediate look of surprise from the person that Reiner barely recognized. But he was sure enough that it was her, judging from her body language; all tensed and alerted, "This is Reiner."
For a moment, there was an awkward silence between Reiner and your bestfriend. She was considering carefully on what to say next.
"Uhm yeah, I know." Your bestfriend finally spoke, her voice creaked, caught by surprise. "What do you want?"
Reiner spoke your name, "I want to meet my girlfriend." Reiner could hear the desperation in his own voice, but your friend jeered in response.
"My girlfriend." she passingly mocked the way Reiner spoke, she came to dislike what she thought was possessiveness in Reiner's nature of speaking, "She's not available. I suggest you to scram. Before my neighbors complain."
Reiner furrowed his brows in dismay, couldn't seem to understand the hostility presented by your friend, "I need to talk to her."
She stood unyielding. Reiner opened the door and climbed off of the car, sighing as he walked closer, propelling your friend to keep her distance away even further. "Please, let me talk to her."
"Not a chance." She turned around and scurried back into the house. Reiner was quick to yell, to her expected dismissal. Without thinking further, Reiner got back to behind the wheel and moved his car forward on to the curb, proceeding to close off the exit way for her small city car in the driveway.
Reiner jumped off the car as your besfriend realized what he had done, "I'm not moving the car until she comes down."
She let out a restraint shrieked, "What the fuck?! I got a dentist appointment tomorrow morning!"
"Then please, tell her to come down and talk to me," Reiner said, sounding almost apologetic. He threw a glance at a lonely swing set in the small park across the street, "there."
The occurrence happening before your eyes was unexpected to say the least. You closed the small slit from your bestfriend's window fold, trying to manage your heartbeat that had become almost deafening. At the same time your bestfriend appeared from the door, face red with flustered, "I think he really wants to see you."
Thousands of thoughts made a commotion in your head. It did not make any sense. You made it easier for Reiner by walking away with clean slate, you were sure this was what he had hoped secretly.
Your friend shuffled inside and shot you a deep stare, she sighed heavily and told you that whether you liked it or not, you had to face him. Reiner looked genuinely worried, she said, twisting your guts even further.
You sat in her bed for a moment, trying to relive every waking moment with Reiner. Sure there were moments when your own thoughts chased you into a deep corner and you wished Reiner had seen it. Sometimes you wished he’d hold you tight, kiss you with reassurance and told you how meaningful you were to him. Sure, sometimes being with Reiner could feel lonely, but he had never treated you back nor was he ever intentionally mean to you. What do I want? The question hung heavy in your mind.
I want him to say that he wants me, the voice within the nook of your brain said, I want him to say that he loves me.
You nodded, finally ceasing from running away further.
             Reiner never thought that at his 20-something he would sit miserably on a random swing-set at a random neighborhood just an hour before the dusk cracked. Reiner was a big man, but even with his figure and the aid of his tailored suit and shirt, wrinkled after gruesome hours at work trying to keep his company afloat on the thin ice of his personal relationship with you – Reiner was tired, and miserable, and desperate. Even more, he was cold as the temperature continued to drop down.
He hung his head low, trying to fight the shivers. It was quiet, too quiet, only the faint sound of the wind and the creaking sound of the swing-set holding off to its dear life under Reiner’s massive weight. The man sighed, never he thought that the sight of you coming out of someone’s house in the dead of a  night would be a spectacle he looked forward to the most.
He closed his eyes, shutting himself off from any sound and thought. Thinking that maybe in the bleakness of his sense, the time would pass faster and your heart would soften.
In the nothingness Reiner could feel a sudden warmth crept from the tips of his fingers, he opened his eyes to see you standing before his eyes, towering him who was sitting like a pathetic boy on the swing. You were wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe, hiding your PJs underneath. In your hands were two cups of scalding tea, you shoved one into his hand, “You came.” You stated.
Reiner let out a deep sigh of relief as he saw you safe and sound. He felt warmth travelled across his body, he did not know whether it was the tea in his hand or simply the sight of you that made him felt so. His eyes latched on to you as you sat on the swing next to him, “Hey. What are you doing?” Reiner asked.
“Running away.”
“Why?”
Reiner looked at you intently, and the guilt started to consume you. You gazed afar, softly shook your head, “Dunno.”
“I see.”
Yet another silence ensued.
“How’s work?”
Reiner sighed again; the heavy breath seemed to be the only way the two of you communicated. Just two troubled minds pouring their burden at each other, “Bertholdt abruptly resigned—fuck, it’s been a nightmare, but—” Reiner pressured his thumb over his brows, trying to ease his sharp migraine that suddenly came, “—that doesn’t matter now. Will you come home?”
He looked at you again, you were still gazing to god-knows-what, everything other than his eyes. Reiner grew antsy on his seat, the swing creaked again. Please look at me. Please look at me. The words resonated incessantly in Reiner’s head but nothing came out of his mouth. Just a stoic, to-the-point question.
Don’t you wanna know the problem, Reiner? Is that all? I said I don’t know and you didn’t even try to dig in deeper? You came all the way here and you just straight up asking me to go home with you? Your mind was nowhere better. It’s in uproar but there was only silence coming out of your mouth. But he came, he didn’t leave. Contradiction danced inside your mind like an unwanted guest.
The silence grew heavier. You saw the lights from your bestfriend’s bedroom lit off, she had got to be tired eventually. Suddenly, you felt so alone. Just the two of you in this odd morning.
“It’s hard, right?” Reiner broke the silence, he looked at you again, this time he was desperate for you to look into his eyes. Little did he know, you were refusing to do so because you could feel your fragility forming in your eyes. You swore not to cry.
��What?” Just a depthless answer you uttered.
“Growing up.” Reiner muttered. The man sounded almost contemplative in his defeat. He sighed again and shook his head, “I thought I’d be someone better by this time in my life.”
The answer surprised you. You thought he would say something like ‘Relationship is hard’ or some jargons he picked up from one of the movies he watched without you. You felt bad for undermining him just because you were upset with him. Does it really mirror your true perception of him? Maybe you really hadn’t known him that well.
You had no resolve to his statement, so you just nodded, allowing him to pour out his thoughts.
“I thought I’d be better with my job, with myself, and most importantly,” he shifted to lurch towards you on his seat, the wire strings of the swing twisted to your direction, “with the people I love. But obviously, I still… suck.”
“And here I am. 4 AM. A fucking adult on a fucking neighborhood swing-set.”
You could feel the air suctioned out of your lungs, as you felt guilt loomed bigger inside you. He came and he felt bad – what more could I ask for? But then you remembered the nights of loneliness despite having Reiner sleeping next to you. You had a bad day, but you were too prideful to come clean. You wanted him to be intuitive, but he never did. Being with Reiner, you had mastered the art of crying in silence while sharing the bed with him. It’s exhausting. Yeah, Rei, maybe you’re bad at this.
Despite that, you stayed silent.
“Will you hate me if I say I don’t know what’s wrong?” Reiner knew how daft he sounded, “God. I’m pushing my luck coming clean at you.”
You were at loss for words. You had so many things to say, but too few of a courage.
Reiner called your name. He reached over and tried to tangle one of your fingers with his. From your periphery sight, you could see him forcing a smile, “I—”
He sighed again. Reiner’s chest was filled with words and all he wanted was to vomit it out, but he never knew how to properly addressed the feelings he had—he couldn’t even describe what he felt. All he knew was one thing: he wanted you home, back in his arms, “I am a stupid man. I really don’t know what’s happening between us. You.. just.. gone. Please, just tell me what’s wrong. I’m not smart enough for all these..”
There was almost a childish plea in Reiner’s words, and you couldn’t help but to threw a faint smile. You chuckled, “What did you say? You’re—what?”
He scoffed at himself, “I am stupid.”
You finally caved in because you realized there was an undeniable genuineness in the way he spoke. And the sentiment was mutual, you felt stupid as well for you had not realized how completely, utterly, truly clueless Reiner was.
Eventually, you looked at him. His hardened face quickly turned wary to finally see how puffy your eyes were from crying earlier, you forced a smile, but it was clear you were pretending, “You make me feel so lonely sometimes.”
The words came out of your mouth like a canonball that had been stuck in your chest for too long. You felt relief, but on the other side, Reiner could feel his heart broke. A pain from a man realizing too late of the damage he had caused.
You thought of everything that had made you feel so. The way Reiner rolled over in bed away from you, drowsy and unaware, when you called him in the dead night as your anxiety kicked in; when his hand let you go as you tried to hold his hands in public; the complete non-existing mention of you in his social media; the take-outs that he mindlessly brought home when you had cooked dinner; his easiness in dropping a problem after he said sorry without checking up with you further.
It was the absent of his intuition that made you felt invisible – but you realized too late that maybe he was truly oblivious, evident as he said, “But how?”
“You really don’t know?”
“Babe,” he further tangled your fingers into his grasp. Your hand and his, they hung in the middle of the two swing seats, “I swear on my mother’s grave.”
“I’ve always thought you wanted to leave me but never got the right moment to it. The affection—I hardly ever got it from you. Not the affirming words, not the reassurance. Hell, maybe I want that public kiss and hugs that you thought was stupid, Rei. Just—”
You could feel the tears forming, choking you mercilessly, “—just to feel loved. To feel wanted. For once.”
You finally let your tears dropped. And Reiner was slapped with realities that both of you were in. He let go of your hand and stared down at the pavement, “I’m sorry. I never knew.”
“You never asked.”
“But I never knew. How am I supposed to know that I should ask when I didn’t know I should ask on the first place? I’ve always thought you wanted to be left alone when all your crazy thoughts come in—but you—”
“—you—"
Reiner groaned, obviously frustrated. He rested the blabber, “Maybe we’re just not good at this.”
Like a train, you could feel the ending coming to hit you. This is it. This is it. You thought to yourself, picturing how Reiner would finally leave you. You secretly wished Reiner wouldn’t give in, you wish he’d put up more fight, so at least you’d know that you carried a weight in his heart. But you knew this was bound to happen, so why were you so upset?
“Maybe.” You wiped your tears dry, “That’s okay, Reiner. I know that’s what I am.”
“What?”
“I’m just an embarkation point, right? Everyone will leave me eventually. That’s why I left, because I know eventually, we’ll be talking about this. So I’d better leave first.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Reiner grew even more frustrated with the way you danced around your words.
“It’s okay if you want to leave me. That’s what all people do to me.”
“You left because you think I was planning to leave you all along?” Reiner asked, sounding painfully offended as he finally got to gather what you were insinuating, “So that is the problem?”
“Yeah, so I better leave first, right? Before I get hurt again? Before you leave me like other people and—”
“Fuck other people!” Reiner raised his voice, which he immediately regretted. He ran his fingers over his hair irritated, turning it into a complete blond mess, “Are you trying to avenge your revenge for other people—those exes you’ve had—on me?”
Tears welled up again in your eyes, as you looked away from him. But he called on your name again, this time there was a deep sternness in his call that you couldn’t help but to face him. Reiner was glad that you finally gained courage to speak the truth, when he had not, “So you want reassurance, yeah? How about the times I told you how beautiful, how smart, how great you are – only for you to tell yourself the opposite immediately.”
Reiner looked directly into your eyes, “I can’t make you something you’re not. What you are is who you think you are.”
“You can never matter – if you don’t think you do.”
An expressionless, soundless tear fell onto your cheek. A heart broke to your dismay. Reiner finally said the truth and there was no way you could delude yourself into thinking that he was wrong, “Then… why don’t you just leave me, Rei? Why don’t you get rid of me a long time ago?”
“Because I’m giving you something that I never received in my entire life, ever. I’m staying for you.” There was a palpable pain in the way Reiner spoke. He landed his finger on to your heart and you could feel it pierced through your skin with heavy realization, “I’m staying. Like no one ever did in my life. Not my ex-girlfriends, not my friends, and certainly not my father. That’s what makes us different. I have more faith in you than you have in me.”
Reiner was a man with heavy heart. He had been through a lot of things in his life, learned how to fend on for himself since very young, and dreamed of the day when he could finally put his hair down with someone he cared for. And what you hadn’t realize, was how essentially similar you were to him. How both of you longed for someone to let go of your inhibitions and fear? Just two broken people finding refuge in each other’s longing for the same thing. And that’s what you failed to see. He understood you, just in a way you didn’t understand.
And that’s the thing about pain, they are inherently personal. No matter how much you have shared yourself to others.
The two of you went dead silent for a moment. In the horizon, the sun rays were starting to emerge, the morning had arrived.  Your tears cascaded painfully slow; Reiner was looking at his feet trying to sip his tea that had gone cold. His hands were trembling with both sadness and anger that were beginning to secede.
Reiner finally called your name, this time it was delicate, “I’m sorry, alright?”
You looked at him with tears in your eyes as you nodded, “Alright.”
“Will you come home, now?”
“Yes,” you muttered, “I think I will.”
The two of you got up and Reiner immediately drew you into his chest, holding you the tightest you had ever been held, reconnecting all the broken pieces scattered inside you. You buried your face into his strong chest as you sobbed once more, while he kissed the top of your head with affection more vivid than thousands of words of affirmations.
“What do we do with these hearts, Rei?” You asked as you felt your chest throbbing with pain and love.
The man loosened his embrace and smiled, “Persevere.”
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A/N:
First of all thank you so much to @okubean for giving me a hellish prompt! This one really made me faced my own abandonment issue and poured it into a writing. I tried to touch about the absent-mindedness as the implication of ADHD but I’m really worried that it doesn’t really do it justice. So hereby my sincere apologies! 😭🙏
Nonetheless, I really hope that you may enjoy this piece and I’m so sorry if it comes off as boring!
I literally drafted this on the metro, and got really carried away with it!
Did I enjoy it? (Yes)
Did this turn out longer than I expected? (Yes)
Am I worried this will bore people? (Yes)
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dreaminginvelaris · 3 years
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sorting acotar characters into hogwarts houses
idk why i decided to make this post but it was fun sooo...
lmk if y'all agree or disagree. Also please no hate, sometimes a post is just for fun and i don't need any negativity. UNLESS its hate for elain which by all means go ahead ;) (because of ppls sensitivity, this joke isnt an invitaion to go on a full blown elain hate rant just offer a few jabs, especially if you agree on the elain section and move on, if you wanna go on a rant, message me or submit a post and i'll response, all the love <3)
Slytherin: Ambition, Cunning, Leadership, and Resourcefulness
Rhysand: of course Rhys is Slytherin, the man screams Slytherin. We all know he's cunning, often coming up with plans to get what he wants, leader well duh, he's a high lord and loves it and is great at it, he's ambitious, he's a dreamer, so of course, he wants more, and he's resourceful, always being able to think on the spot. Rhysands second house would be Ravenclaw for sure though.
Eris: uhhh do I even have to explain? wants to be Highlord, boom ambitious. seems to be the one in charge of his brothers and has many responsibilities, boom leader. being able to achieve what he wants, boom cunning. resourcefulness...yeah I don't got an example for that one, anyways 3/4.
Azriel: daddy az is a Slytherin, I mean obviously this is the best house (is it obvious yet that I'm a Slytherin ;) but fr, I debated sorting him into Ravenclaw, but even though yes he shows Ravenclaw traits it's not the ones we see the most of or the ones that really shine through Azriel's reserved personality. The main traits azzy boo here has from Slytherin are Cunning and Resourcefulness, and imo these are the ones we see from him every page.
Amren: im putting amren here too, she's literally both!
Gryffindor: Brave, Courage, Daring, Chivalrous
Cassian: this one is self-explanatory, how many times has he put others before himself, how many times has he endangered his own life to save others. that's a Gryffindor soul he has. he always tried to do the right thing, he's brave as hell and reckless at times it seems from the little snide comments we've gotten from the books, he would have been a marauder no doubt.
Tamlin: I hate to do this I do because I love my lions, but I had to put this piece of shit somewhere and since he reminds me of peter Pettigrew bc of his cowardness, I'm sorting him in here. I'm so sorry guys ;(
Morrigan: helloooo, the house colors are red and gold??? obviously mor would demand this house, yes demand. but not just that she's crazy brave, at only what 18? i think, she stood up to her family, making a decision she knew could have her ending up in a horrible situation. but she always is brave, shes gotta when her evil family is still in her life.
Hufflepuff: Loyal, Kind, Patient, Hardworking
Gwyn: i choose my girl gwyn for Hufflepuff bc let's face it, she is the embodiment of Hufflepuff. She's loyal to her new friends, emerie and Nesta, and the priestesses. She's kind as we can see when she first met Nesta and when emerie and Nesta shared their stories. She's very patient never snaps at that bitchy priestess who idk the name of as well as patient when it comes to her and Azriel's tender new friendship and hardworking, always doing her job, running around the library, for her work, always researching more ways to help the Valkyries. i debated putting her in Ravenclaw, because of her intelligence, but i think she's a Hufflepuff through and through.
Elain: IT HURTS MY HEART PUTTING PLAIN ELAIN IN THIS HOUSE. but I gotta, the only trait this plant sniffer has out of all the houses is "kind and patient" EVEN THOUGH SHE'S NOT REALLY LMFAO. I've made a post on explaining why this dirt lover isn't as kind as the books make her out to be, and I would argue she isn't actually patient at all, I mean did we miss how she was basically frustrated Nesta wasn't getting better even though it had been like what 2 weeks, LMFAO. but yeah I mean she's not loyal unless you have food and money then oh yeah she'll be loyal and she's not hardworking bc I mean she never did jack shit and still doesn't, sorry to do this to y'all.
Note: some of yall are so soft. this is not an anti elain post. sorry i insulted her but hey its my post, and i have commentary on each character to explain why i feel they belong in a certain house. sorry i happened to insult your fav. but this isnt an anti elain post, just like its not anti tamlin or anti eris. its just a post about all the characters period, which is why i inculded all of them in the tags. hey, i even insulted Nesta a little bit, but I'm not gonna tag anti-Nesta bc it's not a fucking hate post. get off this post if it comes across you and you don't like what I say, it's not hard to literally just scroll, trust me I've done it multiple times especially when it's a hate post on my beloved characters and they didn't use the anti tags. it's not fucking hard, grow up.
Ravenclaw: Wisdom, Wit, Individuality, Intelligence
Feyre: I debated putting queen feyre into Slytherin, I mean she shows the traits for sure, but it's not really if she shows the traits it's what shines the most in her. Ravenclaws are known for their creativity (bae luna Lovegood <3) and feyres an artist, even in her darkest times she remained an artist, always seeing portraits in her mind, always admiring the beautiful colors of the world. We know she's intelligent, picking up reading and writing quickly, and we also see it when she's strategizing, with the inner circle. Feyre is so wise, she had to be, she had to grow up quickly, you often see her in the books giving advice, because even though she's only 21, she's lived a lifetime. and the whole book of acomaf can show you how witty she is, I mean its what made us fall in love with feysand.
Amren: tiny snowball amren is literally a slytherclaw, she has all the traits from both. but because of how well she is with coding languages and how she always reads and does puzzles i think she'd enjoy being a Ravenclaw.
Nesta: I thought about this for a while, really looking into where she would thrive, Ravenclaw is for her no doubt. She's herself, always has been even when that wasn't such a good thing... but she's witty too if you make sure to not count the "the book is about...a book" I'm sorry that line makes me laugh every single time. we haven't really seen much of her intelligence but I'm guessing she is. but really she would love to be in a house where ppl are themselves and read, i can already imagine her creating a book club where people can be themselves and enjoy smutty books like her.
Lucien: originally I was going to sort him into Hufflepuff but then I remembered how intelligent he is, how witty, and I remembered in acowar he talked about how being the youngest of what 7 heirs? he had the chance to really educate himself which he loved to do, to really learn about his court, idk this man just screams intelligence to me.
I left out emerie bc i honestly don't know where to sort her, i feel like i just don't know her too well or understand her enough to sort her, so feel free to lmk where she would belong :)
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jidai · 3 years
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jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation
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Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.
The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao. 
Happy New Years, everyone!
@25th​​, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do. 
I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️
@biscuitwalk​, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.
We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3
@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3
And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--
@lockhvrts​​, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!
@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN.  I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart. 
While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was  so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe
Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️
@noxdivina​, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.
Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3
anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:
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i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks  🧍‍♀️
(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)
@rokuseis​, Sei, the Dumber.
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i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL
BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.
I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3
@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee. 
Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao
@zenien​​, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao. 
You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what-- 
Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.
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ninakaina · 3 years
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You def don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but I gotta say the daniel stans about gonna make me block the whole tag like this is just kyle ron all over again. And the whole pair thing has issues, not just in and of itself, but of the way people portray it. Showcasing Artemy, an indigenous man, as some kind of “beast” that has to be tamed by the white daniel who is soft and uwu is just plain hideous, not to mention the common based-in-homophobia views plain in it (big tough masculine man with small soft feminine man), and don’t even mention the trans fetishization that has suddenly taken root. Any time someone says “let people enjoy things” they’re about to have the worst take of their life or say they enjoy something highly illegal.
No one is saying you can’t like the ship! Just don’t snap in half bending over backwards to defend it. Just acknowledge the flaws in it and challenge how it is often portrayed. Sorry for ranting that one blog annoying the life out of me
need you to know im laying in bed and as i read this i half sat up and hit my mattress because i could not agree more ❤️ this really is kyle ron all over again
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timep3tals · 4 years
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Ooooh if you're doing drabbles, something from i swear i'll come back to you universe where we have a very overprotective and stressed tony and peter just trying to drive properly that somehow results to a minor accident?
this ask makes me so happy ;-; im so glad you’re enjoying i swear, i’ll come back to you, enough to ask for a piece of that universe!!! i hope i do it justice
also, a link to the full story (which I will update hopefully in the next two weeks or so!): i swear, i’ll come back to you
—-
Two weeks have passed since Peter’s unexpected, non-zombified return to the land of the living. In those two weeks, Peter hadn’t seen anything beyond the same old compound walls. Tony decided the best course of action (without consulting Peter, mind you, who’s the one who came back from the dead in the first place) was to lock him up at Avengers Compound, send all the workers on their unexpected but very well deserved paid vacation time, and settle down for constant Badger Peter Until His Ears Bleed time.
Bafflingly, May agreed with Tony.
Everyday she made the hour or so long trip from New York City to upstate. May wouldn’t even consider taking him back to New York until his quote-unquote “issue” had been “resolved”. Peter was of the opinion that his issue (being dead, that is) had already been resolved, and he would very much like to get back to his life, please and thank you.
Unfortunately, they still hadn’t figured out why or how he’s back, so… yippee, hooray, he’s a walking, talking mystery. Doctor Strange visited fairly often, Christine in tow, to poke and prod at Peter with shiny needles and sparkly magic. Peter couldn’t really tell you what they were looking for — he was alive. It’s not as if death could linger on him.
At the very least, Tony tried to keep Peter entertained. If left to his own devices, Peter would likely sneak out as Spider-Man (or at this point, even plain ol’ Peter would suffice), so he figured it was probably for the best Tony insisted on spending as much time as humanly possible together doing everything the genius could concoct, all the while under the compound’s watchful eye. Or FRIDAY’s watchful eye. One in the same, really.
One of those activities was finally making good on the promise of teaching Peter how to drive. Really, he was more terrified than excited anymore. 
Especially because he was currently behind the wheel and Tony was bossing him around from the passenger seat.
God help them all.
“Peter, Peter,” Tony said. His hand was tight on Peter’s arm as he steadily drove the car around the compound. He’d been panicking for most of the ride, and yeah, sure, Peter gets it. New driver and all, but the new driver already had anxiety and he didn’t need Tony Stark adding to his hysterics. “Slow down.”
“I really can’t go much slower than this,” Peter complained. “I’m at fifteen miles an—”
“Fifteen?” Tony clasped a hand to his chest, and Peter might’ve cried had he not been able to hear Tony’s steady, albeit quick, heart beat thundering in his chest. “My god, kid, are you trying to kill us?”
“What? No!” Peter groaned. He gripped the steering wheel even tighter than before. The plastic began to warp under his brutal grip. “This is slow, are you serious? You drive around at like, a hundred plus all the time.”
“I’ve also had years of experience,” Tony pointed out. He eyed the nearest pole, some twenty feet away, with fear and disdain. “Thirty-seven, to be exact. I can speed if I damn well want to, but you’ve never driven anywhere before in your life.”
Peter bit back the automatic retort of, Because I died. Otherwise he would have well over a year of experience, but he didn’t think Tony would take well to a reminder. So he bit his tongue, despite the overwhelming urge to scream and fight.
“I’m driving around a building,” he said instead.
Irritated at both Tony and his own inability at driving still, Peter pressed down on the gas pedal a little harder. The speedometer inched higher until he was hovering around twenty-five. Tony’s heart rate jumped up in time with their speed, and he reached over to grab onto the wheel.
“Peter, stop!” he said urgently. “Let me take the wheel.”
“Will you quit?” Peter snapped back. “I can handle twenty five miles an hour!”
Tony looked between Peter and the outside world as the car jerked and swerved under their mutual grip. “Stop the car!”
“No, get off!”
“Peter, the tree!”
The car jerked as the front end slammed into the tree. The airbags didn’t deploy, but Peter felt momentarily choked by his seatbelt before he rocked back into the driver’s seat, stunned. Tony scrambled to unbuckle himself, sitting up and leaning over as he began to check over Peter.
“Are you okay, kid?” he asked. “Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me—”
Peter knocked Tony’s hands away, sick of his constant fussing. Tony sat back in his seat, startled at the sudden show of force.
“Knock it off, Tony!” he shouted. “You’re driving me crazy, and I can’t take the constant nag, nag, nag. I know what happened, I know how much time has past but you have got to let me breathe! I’m just as scared as you are but you’re going to suffocate me before anything else kills me! I don’t want to die either, you know! I’m constantly afraid to vanish again but never know it because there was nothing while I was dead! Nothing but emptiness — a void I-I know is there, but it’s just nothing! So please, stop trying to smother me and let me live again!”
By the end of his rant, Peter was heaving for air. Tony’s brows nearly touched his hairline, staring at Peter as if truly seeing him for the first time in two weeks. Frustrated, Peter jerked his head to look out the driver’s side window and wrapped his arms around himself.
A hand brushed through his hair. Peter didn’t fight it.
“Hey, kid,” Tony said, quiet. “I’m sorry. I forgot this is all just as difficult for you as it is for me. I’m not trying to suffocate you, I…”
Tony took a deep breath, sounding as though about to cry. Peter turned his head back to his mentor, heart aching.
“I already know what it’s like to lose you, kid. I never, ever want to experience that kind of pain again. Losing you took away everything I thought was good in this world. All I want to do is protect you.”
“I know, Mr. Stark,” Peter said, “but you gotta let me be my own person again. I love you, I do, I love you so much, but I can’t live wrapped in bubble wrap.”
“And you shouldn’t have to.” Tony studied Peter’s face before opening his arms. Peter unbuckled and eagerly dipped into the hug. No matter how angry he was, he’d never refuse a hug from Tony. Especially not when every hug now came with guaranteed hair-playing. “I’ll try to back off. No promises, but… I’ll give you some space. Some, Peter. You’re still going to have me hovering over you as often as I can, but it’s because I love you.”
Peter’s eyes burned. Tony had never said I love you out loud before.
“I love you, too.”
“I know.” Tony scratched his fingers along his scalp, and Peter shived with the pleasant sensations. “You’re a great kid. The best.” He patted Peter’s shoulder, and when he spoke again, he sounded like he was smiling. “Now, you wanna send a text to those nerd friends of yours and see if they want to come up for movie night? No hovering, I promise.”
Peter pulled back. “Really?”
Tony nodded. “Sure, kid. Besides, someone has to fix up this car now.”
Oh, yeah. Yikes. Peter grimaced. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Tony reassured him. “Now get out of the driver’s seat. I’m driving us back to the garage.”
Absolutely beaming, Peter eagerly jumped out of the car and let Tony take the driver’s seat. Movie night with MJ and Ned was only the start, but Peter felt as if it was the first step to getting the life he’d known before back. And he couldn’t wait.
Tag List: @keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars @riseuplikeglitterandgold @just-the-daydreamer @roaringgay @serendipity–goddess @tony-wheres-my-supersuit @baloobird @spider-beep @swagfictonreadingnerd @tcny-stcrks (If you want to be added or removed, just let me know!)
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devourer--of--books · 4 years
Text
So, I just started to play Obey Me! Shall We Date
And well, I have thoughts
Im currently stuck on the first levels of lesson 5, so my knowledge of the plot is limited to that + some spoilers I accidentally got while going though the obey me! tag. Do I have a deep understanding of this game? No. Am I gonna rant anyway? Yeah. See me do another one of these soon after I play it some more, but for now, I need to put this out there:
First, mechanics-wise, the first thing on my mind was "Mr. Love from Hell", which is honestly not too far fetched. Maybe it's because I'm playing in my old ass tablet (I need a new phone, this thing ain't gonna survive 2020) but it's just so slow??? I've tried downloading full data, and it kinda helped, but still, it just annoys me so much! It's not crashing like crazy (cof cof Love Island The Game cof cof) but it could be better, it takes forever to get the itens to level up cards because it just ????????? takes forever for them to load???? anyone else got this problem or it's just my device? Anyway, that aside, I quite like it, if you played MLQC, it's pretty easy to manage, and while it takes a bit more of attention to win battles, I think that's a good thing. Getting shards has a been a bitch, like, I keep on suffering with the loading and my competitive ass wants to finish begginer's missions, and again I think Mr. Love has spoiled me. Also, someone please tell me how to level up skills, because I have no idea???
Now, moving on to the actual tea: what do I think of these boys?
Let's go in order, shall we:
So, I open the app and I see Lucifer in all his red and black glory, furry cape, Dom-Daddy, Big D Energy for days and go "Oh, Demon!Nobunaga, fun!". I'm immediately drawn to him beacause Nobu was my first ever otome guy and while I eventually grew out of the whole "this man is so controlling and sexy and dark" phase, nostalgia ya know? So, turns out the vibe I keep getting from Lucifer is more like all those dark-kinky-Jumin-Han-fanfics (as in, the only parts of Jumin Han that I hate) rather than Nobu? Idk man, this guy just seems shady?? They all do honestly but Lucifer is just plain scary. Dude, I know you've got the whole "most-powerful-oldest-control-freak" going for you but, like, can you chill?
Yet I can't really blame him, cause, Veronica (that's my MC's name) why, girl???? She be going up those stairs, and I'm just ??? Real talk, I'm kinda of a rule follower? I don't wanna make this guy mad, man, all I wanna do is hit on Satan (which we shall discuss soon) and see some family drama shenanigans. Lucifer says "don't go up those stairs" I'd be like "okay???" because up until now he hasn't given me a reason to not trust him (aside from being shady)??? But I have no choice but go talk to Belphegor (don't even get me started on this one) and I can just tell I'm gonna get in trouble for this. Could I not get there accidentally? Do I have to go there against Lucifer's direct orders? I don't think this is gonna go well, I just don't wanna get on his bad side hskshskshk
Lucifer's room, however, is everything to me, the deco is lovely (skeleton aside) and that bed, maaaannnn
Mammon started really annoying but he's been growing on me. I have a soft spot for dumb bitches like him, I guess? He just cracks me up? Not to be cheesy, but I like him as a friend? Maybe that'll change in the future, who knows, but for now that's how I see him, the best friend guy who is gonna be in love with you in every single route (read, Seven, but dumber). Can't wait for the angst. Looks wise I kind got him mixed with Solomon at some point (my dumbass though it was a bug) but all those Surprise Guest moments have me thinking he's way cuter than I gave him credit for at first.
I always feel bad for ratting him out to Lucifer, but boy, you and Veronica practically share one single brain cell, okay? I need to get my girl into Lucifer's good graces, I ain't about that troublemaker life
Levi is gonna be brief: No. He's not my type (otome or real life wise) and he annoys me. He reminded me a bit of Yoosung at first, and I'm trying to power though it like I did with him, but I can't. He keeps dragging me into his stuff and it's not cute, it makes me resent Levi. I'm not much of a tsundere enthusiast by nature, and I really don't like when they portray fans and gamers in this kinda "I'm weird, look at me I'm so weird and different" light ("have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? that's weird" jsjdndmsksjdnsmskdjnddm). It comes across (to me at least) as childish and dumb (not endearing dumb, like Mammon). Idk, maybe I'll change my mind? Don't come for me, Levi stans
So Satan
I love Satan
Otome makes you say the strangest shit hm
Still. I haven't interacted much with him but I'm obsessed with this man. Let me date you, okay? You look like posh book-cat-candle super model I wish existed. Let's be petty together. Since I haven't been playing long I hope I don't end up regretting putting my heart and soul into loving you. I'm doing all kinds of jobs to get intimacy go up with him, because guyghbkhiugiygufgfydddyghvjgvjg I'm all about that soft dom energy he has going for him, it's basically everything I love about Jumin Ham, but less CEO and more cute-bookstore-guy. Ideally, Satan is 100% my type, even if not the usual otome route I take first. Also, he is the Avatar of Wrath, which, along with Pride, is my most prominent sin, so I might be projecting
Pls babe don't turn out to be terrible
Kay, so Asmo. Asmo gives me all the Shingen vibes but realistic Shingen. Like, of Shingen is all about worshiping his MC, Asmo looks like he wants to be worshiped himself. Not judging, tho. That thing he said about loving himself above all things, I feel like it was supposed to be shady but I kinda agree? He's onto something. All this self-sacrifing thing is so romanticized. Can't we all be in healthy non co-dependent relationships? Love yourselves, kids. Which is why, while I said Satan is my ideal type of man, in real life, most of the people I've been with are Asmos. That being said, that's why he doesn't really work as an otome LI for me (at least for now). I'm here to live a fantasy of dating demons, not to see my exes. He is tempting tho. Who doesn't want a friend to do face masks and fuck from time to time, no strings attached until, "oh no, we both caught feelings, whatever shall we do" and then have it end well? (can you tell I'm projecting? my therapist is gonna love this). Poor Asmo, it's not his fault. Darling I'm sure you'll turn out to be lovely
On Beel, not much. I'm not into him, at least for now. his personality so far is that he's hungry. So what, man. I'm not here for that either. I don't find food particularly fun or sexy, it's just here to keep us alive (unless it's sweets, sweets are the best, but I'm having to cut down on sweets so), so he's not doing much for me. Gotta wait for that character development I guess
And to end this rant, Belphegor. Bitch, I've seen you on my demon cards, don't you dare tell Veronica you're human. But she's a dumb hoe, my girl Veronica, so she just doesn't question it???? I swear, this girl. Shady doesn't even cut it with him. Sorry, you're telling me what to do? Dude, lol, you're lucky this is Veronica and not me, because I'd be out of there as soon as you started this bull about me doing pacts with demons to get your ass out of that room. Don't prey on my empathy, it pisses me off. Spoilers tell me he's like a human-hater or something? Boy, fuck you, okay? Am I going to end up loving him? Who knows. For now he can rot in that room for all I care
Anyway, that's pretty much my first impressions of this game. I'll be playing it for some more time, until I get up to date on lessons and story or until colleges comes to drag me to literal hell, whatever comes first
Peace, my dudes
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peterpumpkinparker · 5 years
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Dropping By- Peter Parker/Spiderman Oneshot
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Hi guys! I know its been awhile and wow Ive missed this blog-hopefully this makes up for the 3 months of ghosting <3 Word Count: 800+ Genre: Fluff! Warnings: None!
You stared at your complexion in mirror, not truly happy with the person staring back. Did your hair look fine? Did you look under dressed? Over dressed? Was your makeup too much? Too little? Your head swirled with these unanswered question. You knew know matter how hard you tried, you weren't going to look perfect on this first date.
Peter Parker, your crush since you walked into his chem class and fate graciously put your seat next to his. Your crush since he helped you study for chem after your grades started to slip. Your crush after you realized he was the Spiderman. Your crush after 4 months of pining for him, had asked you out. You thought it was a miracle, but really, everyone knew it was meant to be- and by everyone, Ned and MJ. But he had asked you out to dinner, at some new Italian restaurant, and you calmly said yes even though you wanted to scream.
You smiled at yourself in the mirror, letting the happy memory wash of that day over you like sunlight in summer. You weren't sure you were ready for this date- the butterflies you had were practically eating your stomach from the inside out- but you weren't going to back out now.
You walked down to the living room, hearing your parents in the kitchen. It was almost a half an hour to your date- and you were hoping to give a pep talk to your parents to not make things awkward between you or Peter by asking embarrassing questions. But, to your confusion, your parents looked like they were leaving- when they specifically said they would be home.
“Whatcha guys doing?” you asked casually, cautiously watching your mom pack makeup into her purse.
“Oh, y/n, you look so nice,” your mom complimented, her voice leaving a trace of guilt.
You grabbed a water from the fridge, your hand shaking from nerves.
“Are you going somewhere?” you asked before gulping down water.
Your dad sighed, giving your mom a sidelong look. “Y/n, were sorry, but you cant go on your date tonight.”
You felt your heart drop down to your stomach as shock filled your system. Almost choking on water, your voice cried out, “Why?!”
Your mom gave you a sad look, explaining,” Your father forgot he had a company get together tonight, and he promised he would be there, and he can only get in with a plus one.”
“Its required I have a partner with me to get in,” your dad further explained, “some fancy restaurant or something like that- I know it sounds stupid,” he added, seeing your clearly reproached face, “but your mother and I have to go. And you have to hold down the fort while were gone”
You looked between your parents, hoping for a crack in their faces, a way to wiggle in and get what you both want, but there was no way in.
“So- no date?” you asked helplessly.
“Im sorry, y/n, but- no date.” you mother answered, her voice stern but sympathetic.
You sighed, filling your disappointment replace the excitement. “Guess I'll go call Peter.”
“Alright,” your father called out from the front door, “tell him were very sorry- we'll be back around 9!”
Your mother gave you a quick hug, and after your good byes and the slam of the door, the emptiness of the house made you somehow sadder than before. You didnt want to call him- the dread of letting him down, or him thinking your backing out made you feel guilty. But you found yourself finding his number in your phone, and clicking the call button, the ringing sound making you chew on your nails from nerves.
Peter picked up surprisingly quickly, making the butterflies come back from the sound of his hello.
“Hey Peter,” you sighed, dreading to tell him the news.
“Hey y/n!” he said rushed, as if he had been running for a while, the sound of wind making his voice sound fuzzy. “Im almost there, dont worry, I just gotta couple blocks to go-”
“Are you being Spiderman right now?” you asked, a smile sneaking onto your lips.
“Uhhhh-why you ask that?”
“Cause- I can hear Karen through the phone,” you stated with a smirk, waiting for his reaction.
“Crap!”you heard him curse, making you laugh even though the guilt was eating in your stomach.
“Yeah… I am,” he admitted, “but Im gonna change in the alleyway next to your house- so your parents wont think Im some crazy person when I come to pick up.”
You sighed, burshing your hair to the side. “Peter- Im so sorry to say this, but- you cant come over.”
“Wait- whats wrong y/n?” he asked, hurt in his voice, making your heart ache.
“Nothing, its just, my parents have some stupid company party to go to, and they need me to “hold down the fort”, you said with air quptes, not remembering Peter couldnt see them, “so- the dates cancelled.”
“I really was excited, Pete, I was,” you put in after, rushing your words to hopefully fix any wound you caused him.
“Me too,” he replied after a small silence, his voice smaller than usual.
‘Next week,maybe?!” You hated hearing him sound dejected, so to compensate, you tried to make your voice sound hopeful.
“Kay?” you asked him, hoping he would forgive you for doing this to him.
“Kay,” he repeated, his voice still sounding as if you just dumped him.
“Im so sorry about this Pete.”
“Its not your fault- Ill see you later, I guess. Night y/n.”
“Night.”
You sighed, laying on your bed, hoping the tears trying to crawl up would go away.
“Well,” you concluded to the ceiling, “that didnt go as well as I hoped.”
With no plans for the night, you decided to just do what you usually do on a normal night- blast music and try to do some homework. The night was just about to come, twilight coloring  your room with a burst of golden hues. It was beautiful, you had to admit, and again you felt a pang of longing to be with Peter
.It had been an hour of lonely listening to your depressing playlist of sad songs when a sudden knock was heard on your window. You jumped, a scream escaping your mouth as you instantly turned off your playlist.
You craned your head at the window pane, trying to see who the intruder was, but only a pink and orange sky greeted you. You stepped off your bed gingerly, and as you opened the window to investigate the strange sound-Out of nowhere, a red object whipped out from above the window, making you scream until you realized who it was.
“What the hell!?” you yelled, laughing off the fright.
“Im sorry, Im sorry!” Peter unhinged himself from his upside down position, the piece of webbing flying away in the breeze as his feet made contact with your small terrace.
You smiled, nervousness attacking your stomach. “Its okay,” you asked after brushing your hair out of your face- “why are you hear?”
You watched Peter shuffle a little with his feet, his broad shoulders blocking your sight of the railing of the terrace.
“Well, I felt bad that we couldnt- ya know, go out or anything-” he fumbled, “so….” He took a pause, looking at you so intently with those bug eyes on his red mask you felt a little unnerved- like he was staring right into you.
“Uh-Why dont you just close your eyes,” He finally said, the nervousness coming through in his voice. You were confused, so you took his outstretched hand with a suspicious smirk, and you laughed at the ticklish feeling his hand left on yours as he led you out your window.
“Okay, “ he counted, “one..two...three.”
You opened your eyes, and when you did, you were met with the sight of a mini picnic, complete with even a little bouquet of flowers with your favorite Italian food laid out on take out plates. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, and you didnt know how to react to such a sweet gesture.
You stared at it, shocked- how could you be with someone so sweet and caring?
“I mean, its not much-” he began to ramble as if he was embarrassed about the cheesiness of it, “but I figured since you would be home you might want to hang out here- its okay if you dont but I just  thought maybe Id come hang out with you instead of going somewhere so I picked up the food I hope you like the flowers some lady sold them to me on the-”
You laughed, kissing his cheek to make him stop- you knew if you didnt do something, anything, hed probably go on that nervous rant for hours.
“Its perfect.” You smiled at him, happiness filling up in your eyes.
Peter felt relief envelope his body. He wished he wasn't so awkward around you, but you didnt care if he rambled, or accidentally scare you half to death. You were so sweet and funny and new him so well and man, you looked so pretty at this time of day, he wish he could take a picture of you and keep it forever. He sighed, relishing the feeling of your hand in his.
“Wait-” you interrupted his thoughts, “how are you gonna eat?” You pointed at the obvious mask covering his face.
“Oh!” He thought, feeling dumb for not thinking of that and maybe changing before he decided to knock on your window.
He quickly fumbled with his mask, bringing it above his nose so all you could see was a wide grin.
“Better?” he asked.
“Much better,” you smiled, and kissing his  cheeck again you yelled: “Lets eat!”
I hope you guys liked this! I havet been active (like at all) so I hope this makes it up! :)
Taggings:
@fratboievans @grandmascottlang @galaxy-parker @hollandroos @honeymoonparker @hazsterfield @itsholyholland @naturallytom @starksparker @underoosstark @uglypastels @underoos-shield @petersshirts @revengingbarnes @th3n3rdyon3 @just4muggles
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boogiewrites · 5 years
Text
Choking On Sapphires 79
Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)
Title & Song: Baddest Man Alive
Summary:  Alfie takes revenge out on London. He opens up a bit to Tommy about how he feels about the lives they lead and what it means for the women that they’re with. Genevieve wakes. Song is Baddest Man Alive by The Black Keys.
Warnings/Tags: Fluff. Language. Canon typical violence. References to sexual assault and violence. Injury. Vengeful Alfie. Fluff. Alfie and Tommy conversations. 
Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.) Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!
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Alfie bursts into the best hospital he knows in London with absolutely no grace or manners to his entrance. As soon as Arthur clears the way with the doors he's shouting in his rough, thick Camden accent for the best doctor and nurses in the place and fuck anyone else because this woman was the most important. If Genevieve had been conscious, she would've thought the whole rant was rather charming.
"We need to take her to treat her Mr. Solomons." a nurse says with clear agitation as he sputters his words, not realizing he'd have to let her out of his sight.
As she's taken from his arms, he doesn't want to let go, but both Tommy and Arthur help pry her away and hand her off to the doctors who get to work before shes even hit the gurney. They both stand with the forlorn and lost looking Alfie Solomons, showing that he was indeed human as he stood covered in blood in the hallway with the Shelby brothers hands on either of his shoulders.
"They'll do everything they can Mr. Solomons." a young girl with a sympathetic smile says, holding paperwork. "But right now we need to know some information." she says with a very timid delivery, none of the men even acknowledging her presence, they were all rattled with what had gone down.
"We'll handle it." a familiar voice from the doorway comes as Claire and Polly come with stern looks on their face and headstrong postures. Clearly two strong women who pushed the boys aside to move with the nurse to the back behind the swinging doors.
"Claire!" Alfie snaps out his trance, seeing Gen's body disappear down a hallway.
"I've got it Alfie. If you come back you'll only cause trouble." she answers with no anger in her voice as her hand rests on his chest. "I believe you might have some... business that needs tending to?" she says with vengeful eyes that swing up to meet his under her brow.
"Until I know she's okay I'm not fuckin' leavin'." he retorts with a fast shake of his head.
"That's fair. Wait here and the moment she's settled I will let you know. Otherwise, there is a phone down the hall. There are surely some calls you need to make." she gives him a harsh poke into his chest. "Make the best of this time before people know... what happened." she states clearly, breaking through his heavy blanket of self pity and guilt he was clearly wearing on his face. "Alfie. She needs you to be a strong man right now. And you are. You can do this."
"I know I fuckin' can Claire." he says defensively.
"There he is." she says with a more endearing nod. "Then you need to make some calls don't you? Spend this time wisely."
"Right." he says thumbing his nose.
"I'll be back soon." she says before swiftly turning and following the bewildered looking nurse down the hall towards surgery.
"What's the plan?" Tommy says, with his characteristic cool delivery.
Alfie takes a deep breath. "Gonna call me men. We've got some feet to get on the ground." he says with a strong brow, eyes darting in through across the room. "Let's go somewhere more private, yeah? Not the place to be discussin' such things." he says with a swish of his jacket as he moves down the hall to the phone.
-------
As promised, Claire comes and finds the boys all hunched and grumbling their plans of attack in an empty conference room. She says only one at a time, but Arthur refuses to wait.
"Who's gonna fuckin' tell ME no?" he says, pushing through the doors as Claire walks with her guard up next to Alfie.
Polly sits by the bed, holding Gen's bandaged hand. Her hair was now wet and washed, brushed back and braided out of the way. The light coming through the blinded windows, bouncing off everything that was white and sterile in the single room makes her look even worse, he thinks. Or perhaps that was wishful thinking. He stands at the foot of her bed, staring and unsure of how to proceed. Polly knew Alfie and Gen had been living together, seen kissing in his club, but she'd never genuinely thought he was in love with her until she saw his eyes. Until she felt it pouring out of him as he stood there like a shell shocked soldier taking in the beaten angel before him.
"They've got her sleeping with tranquilizers for now. She needs rest, she'll be in a lot of pain and they're unsure of the damage her brain may have taken. It's all a waiting game for now. But she will be sleeping for quite some time." Polly informs him, slowly moving away as his fingers traced up her leg, as he walked to her side, sitting in the chair by the bed.
"Poor thing." Arthur says with a sigh, rubbing his chin, sniffling at the sight.
"She'll live Arthur. She doesn't need pity. What she's been through would've killed a lesser man." Polly says with a reassuring smirk.
"She's a tough little bird no doubt." he answers as he tries to sneakily wipe away a tear. "I'm.." he clears his throat. "I'm not cut out for this sort've thing no more." he shakes his head and Polly pats his arms gently. "I'll go get Tommy. We'll get to work." he mutters, wiping his nose as his breath is loud and shaky exiting the room.
"Leave us for a minute." Alfie says, slowly taking her hand into his, feeling the cold and clammy skin against the callouses and warmth of his own. He'd cleaned up what he could of himself in the bathroom, no longer caked in blood and filth. Claire puts her hand to his shoulder, making him meet her eyes and share a nod to make sure he would be alright alone before departing. "Chanah." he whispers, his shoulder slumping with his elbows on the bed, her hand to his lips as his watery eyes look over her face that looked so peaceful now around the swelling and discoloration. "I 'on't know if you can hear me, yeah. But I guess I'll tell ya for me own sake." he begins, kissing her hand. "I know this was 'cause of me, right? 'N I know you knew this could happen. But it don't make me fink you deserved it to. I know I deserve the... pain I felt with you gone. But you..." he shakes his head, his lips against her skin. "This weren't supposed to happen to you." he reaches out and touches her cheek and she takes a deeper breath. "I love you. I want you to know that I'm going to kill every fucker that had anything to do wif 'is. Im gonna watch the life fade from their eyes for ya love. Just like you do. I'm gonna salt the fuckin earth and burn down every fuckin' fing. I'm gonna do right by you. You're gonna get betta, and I'm gonna be there, and I'm gonna do what I should've already fuckin' done before that night. Should've proposed the night I met you, eh? I knew you was special even then. I've been blind love. And for that I do apologize."
"I'll have to tell her she's the first to get an apology from Alfie Solomons." Tommy's voice comes from the doorway. Alfie does not react, he keeps both his hands wrapped around her small one.
"They say she will live. But they don't know what damage was done." he repeats the diagnosis.
"Polly said the same. I don't know what weight you and yours hold to our sort of future seeing but she says she will be fine. It won't be easy...but you'll get her back. Which is more than most of us get." he states, looking at the ground.
"I know I sent you flowers for that 'n all. But I would like to say I'm sorry you lost your Grace. I know now." he nods. "I know why you did what you done after that."
Tommy clears his throat, adjusting his posture at the mention of such a thing in sincerity. "Perhaps this will keep you from acting like such a difficult animal now, eh?" he offers. "But this happened because of you and you can"t take that back now. I've been there. But without the luck you've had of gettin' to keep her. And no matter how you act I know you're a clever man. So now you can see what's really worth taking a risk for. You know now what there is to lose."
"Tommy..." he begins, sitting up straight and holding her hand after placing it on the bed. "Imagine...right? Imagine that you could not see at all. You was born blind." he speaks with confident words. "Then one day...you open up your eyes and you can see... everyfing...in the world. When before you could only touch it, or smell it. There it is." he gives a big nod of his chin. "The revelation...innit?" he tilts his head, gazing down at the woman in the bed that gave his life a new, deeper cause for fighting. "I've had one, yeah." he nods slowly, turning his head just the same to Tommy. "This woman here...she's what I've been missin' mate. She's... everyfing. Without her nothing tastes good, nothing feels good, there is no good if she is not here. She’s made me realize the kinda man I gotta be to keep somefin like her in me life. And I’m gonna fuckin be it, yeah. I mighta forgot who the fuck I was. What it is that I truly want outta this fuckin’ life. But I remember now. Havin’ somefin to live for besides yaself will change a man. Knowing the tenderness only a woman can show you will change you as well, mate. As I think you know. Same as all the fuckin carnage and violence we did when we was young. Us… fuckin men, fuckin degenerates what don’t deserve their love. But we aren’t children anymore mate. We’re men who gotta live wif our choices. And I have made questionable ones. But never about her. She’s always been the right one.”
Tommy nods, feeling the sentiment deep in his chest. "Best you keep her close, eh? Our lives...aren't meant for us to have women like them. We don't deserve them, yet we keep them anyway and this happens...or worse." he motions to her and lets out a controlled breath. He takes a moment, Alfie giving a slow blink and a nod of understanding.
“I know what we gotta do now mate.” He says before clearing his throat. “This one here...she’s vicious.” Gives her a smile. “She’d want me out there... not in here feelin’ sorry for her. She hates bein’ pitied.”
“So let’s celebrate her staying among the living by doing just that then, eh?” He suggests, putting his hat back on his head.
“I’m gonna kill every last one of em for ya love. No one's gonna dare think to mess with you again. I’m gonna give them something to remember yeah? Something worthy of a Solomons.” He promises, standing and giving her forehead a kiss. “I love you Chanah. I’ll be back with good news soon.” ------- At the bakery, a small army of men gathered in the confines of the musky space, both Jews and gypsies alike as the Shelby’s lent their hand to the plot of revenge for what had been done to Genevieve. Not only was she the god mother to Charlie and Ruby, she had been tortured for information about them and had not given up a thing. She was sold as a martyr to the men, an example of loyalty and toughness that they could only hope to imitate. Because of her, they were all safe, along with their livelihoods and families, their way of life still under protection and Tommy still in a position of power in Parliament to make sure that those who had supported Horne in his attempts at brushing elbows with any political affiliations, would feel nothing but rejection on every front they tried. Tommy had already been battling the fascists rise, and with Horne having supported their sentiments, gave Tommy another story to tell to add to his persuasive efforts to discredit the supporters of the movement.Tommy in his composed delivery tells the men that today there is no difference between the men all gathered in this room, that they were all an oppressed people and this was a clear attack on them and theirs. It could not go without retaliation. Solomons word was gold and whatever orders he gave they would follow as they acted as a single unit in this moment, putting their pasts behind them to ensure that no one had the nerve to rise against either of them again.
Both knowing that no matter what they did today, there would always be someone out to get them, they still wove the pretty story of ultimate redemption to the more simple and short sighted among them, and the tale served its purpose.
He stands on a soap box, and not as Alfie or Ari, but as Captain Solomons. His voice was powerful and confident, the men riled up by the idea of defending their own against evil, a strategy used by leaders to manipulate those beneath them since the beginning of time, and now was no different. Alfies men that knew Genevieve are ready to defend her. To them she was a small and sweet woman who made the boss more tolerable, a generous business woman who donated to charities and painted and taught some of their children. They couldn’t stand by and let a man like Horne, and thus anyone who sided with him get away with treating a woman, particularly a Jewish woman in such a way.
Alfie tells them of their plans of attack. Find your places, hide your weapons and hold your ground until the signals were dropped. Then, a mass raid of businesses, homes, offices and factories of Horne’s would be demolished and burned. Those that fought them would die and those found within the confines of the walls of the enemy were not to be seen as human, but as direct threats to them and theirs. Alfie was out for blood, and he would have it by his own hand and by the hands of those under his command. As far as he was concerned, this was war.
Tommy only directs, retreating to his home to keep his nose clean of the fighting, having to protect his image. His role of influence was important, and Alfie understood why he couldn’t get get in the muck with them. But Arthur and John, they were rapid attack dogs ready for a fight. It’s been too long since they’d felt so alive and thirsty for violence. Each man, the two Shelby brothers and Alfie take a spot to command, the rest entrusted by faithful men. Alfie took Horne’s offices, Arthur his home and John his most successful business.
At the time their synchronized watches hit the hour as agreed upon, places all over London were raided. Alfie shoots on sight, not discerning who was on the other end of his gun. Arthur is a mad dog who beats the first man he sees to death, making his way through the men that stayed in Horne’s home as he had no family. John and his men shoot and slice, the cans of petrol brought in in twos as they soaked every floor of the factory.
The men all stood with pride, seeing the carnage left behind. They each relish the moment of striking and watching the matches burn before throwing them into the soaked innards of the buildings. All across London fires broke out. It sent a flood of gossip among the residents of bombings of riots. Alfie and the culprits long gone as the people flooded into the streets as the buildings went up in flames, everything lost in minutes. Once word got around as to what had happened with the abdication and the men behind it, The ash made it all the way across the city, carried by the wind as the pieces fell as filthy snow, a reminder to those who escaped that all of London was to fear Solomons. In case they’d forgotten he was not someone to fuck with. They’d remember now. ----- In her separate room with the big windows, Genevieve rests on the edge of waking. Claire rests bedside, lost in thought and studying the wood grain in the door to pass the time, her mind too ragged to do anything too productive. She figures she should get used to waiting, because for a long time to come that was going to be what everyone had to do to see what the lasting damage on Genevieve would be.
The squeak of movement on the bed snaps Claire’s mind out of its trance, worrying about taking over Abeille and telling the school and children’s homes of Gens upcoming long term absence.
For a moment she looks almost herself despite the injuries to her face as she wakes. The swelling having gone down slightly in her bad eye, the lashes flutter as she fights out of the forced unconsciousness. For a brief moment she tries to focus with a still relaxed face before Claire has to see her face contort into an expression she’d never seen on her friends face before, overwhelming fear.
She struggles, trying to knock away someone who wasn’t there, her escaping sounds broken and hoarse from the damage to her throat and vocal chords from injury and screaming.
“Genevieve you’re safe!” Claire says loudly, grabbing her wrists and trying to get in her line of sight. “You’re safe. You’re in the hospital. You’re safe.” She says over and over as she begins to focus on her closest confidants face with her bloodshot and blackened eyes. “Bonjour Genevieve.” She says with a kind tone as she sees recognition behind her eyes now.
She stills her arms, her eyes moving slowly around the room, squinting as she shook her head away from the sunlight coming through the windows, it hurt to look at and she didn’t need more pain. “Ah-“ it comes out as a dulled croak but she tries again, “Ah...fuh.” She tries, wincing at the pain when she tried to speak.
“Shhhh, don’t try to talk. Your throat and vocal chords took a lot of damage. Doctor says it’s best not to talk for awhile... while your body is healing anyway.”
She shakes her head fast, then groaning and the room spinning and nausea coming forth quickly as she reaches up to hold her head. “Ah-“ She begins again, tears starting to fall from her eyes.
“He’ll be here soon.” Claire answers her supportively. “We thought he’d have time to get back before you woke. But it seems you’re too stubborn to even stay asleep with medicine.” She gives her a smile she doesn’t see, reaching up and fluffing a pillow, helping her recline and sit up. “He’s fine. Everyone’s okay.” She says taking her hands as they started shaking as she squinted and stared at them, braces on three of her fingers from them being broken and a tight wrap around both her wrists. “Your hands were hurt, and your wrists.
Genevieve nods in understanding. She touches her ribs and looks to Claire.
“Broken ribs, bruises and fractures, but nothing that you can’t heal.” She says with a supportive nod.
Moving the blankets away Genevieve looks down her legs, the hospital gown having rode up in her struggle. She wiggles her toes, moving her ankles with a pained sound, then her knees which were scraped and bruised.
“Nothing broken in your legs.” Claire clarifies.
Gen takes in a deep exhale, wincing before placing her hand to her stomach, finding all the blood to be gone now much to her relief.
“Yeah there was a lot of blood.” She says quietly, not wanting to upset her further, but clearly she wanted to know what the damage was. ”There was so much they didn’t know what was yours and what was...not yours.” She tries to be gentle and not mention the man that did this to her. “Your body has taken a lot of damage, Genevieve. You’ll need to take medicine and rest for a long while. Only time will tell us what will heal and what won’t.” She explains and puts the covers back over her. “Most of all you need to take it easy because of your head.”
She nods and gets dizzy again.
“Yeah don’t move so much.” Claire says softly, gently moving her head against a pillow. “I’ve kept your records private. Alfie won’t be able to see them.” She begins. “I didn’t know if you’d want him knowing... the full extent of what’s happened.” She explains.
Genevieve gives her an appreciative smile, closing her eyes and taking Claire’s hand.
“I’m glad you agree.” Claire bods and let’s out an exhale she didn’t know she was holding in. “But you’ll be okay. There’s so many people that are going to help you get better. You’ll have the best doctors and care and you’ll feel better.” Her words were laced with sadness but the thud that’s accompanying the headache in Gens head drowns out her hearing from time to time. “I’ll let you rest again.” She says letting her hand go, a pat to it as she sees her settle into her pillow fully. ——————-
Alfie stands in front of the double doors, looking in before he enters. He was utterly exhausted. All he wanted was to go home with her and have this all be over, but he knew that couldn’t happen.
“I knew you two lived together...” Polly begins, walking up to him with crossed arms, her ever knowing eyes to the side as she stands in front of the other rectangular window in the double swinging doors. “But I did not know how much you loved her.” She finishes, seeing Gens sleeping form look almost peaceful with her head to the side. “Nor her you.”
Alfie swallows audibly, a deep rise and fall of his chest as he prepares himself to face her.
“She asked for you first you know.”
“Claire told me.” He says with a soft voice.
“After she comes out on the other side of this...and she will...you need to marry that girl.” She states as fact.
“That has been my intention for a long time.” He says wistfully, pushing through the door without turning to look at Polly. “Just thought she deserved something grand, yeah? Had been planning it for months.” She nods, watching him move slowly, half from fatigue and half from hesitancy to disrupt his love. Perhaps Alfie did have both a brain and a heart. “I wanna do it now truth be told. But I don’t want any part of this fuckin nightmare to be associated with it. I won’t have her rememberin’ this pain every time she thinks bout our marriage. I’m gonna make it perfect for her. And right now innit fuckin that.” He says with a stern face and a sigh.
"She's been through a lot, Solomons." she states with a flat delivery, side eyeing him.
"I know." he nods, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat. "But she's strong."
"That's clear now." she says with an agreeable expression. "She's one of us. I thought she was just a little rich girl but... clearly there's more there."
"Much more. I wouldn't be wif some posh little cunt now would I?" he asks, swinging his head her way.
"I don't know you that well Solomons. Just to not trust you." she smirks.
"Fair." he nods.
"You're going to need to be delicate with her." she says after a moment of silence. "Can you be delicate?"
"She'll make it, yeah? Doctors have her a good prognosis.." he offers as a cop out for answering about his potential softness.
"Solomons. I'm serious." she says with a lowering of her chin. "It'll be like she's been through the war like you were boys were. She was held captive. Treated worse than you boys were if the stories I've heard about Horne were true. And I have reason to believe they were. "
"I know." he says with a grimace.
"She won't be the same. You know that right? Because you should. None of you boys came back the same as you left."
"Right." he gruffs out, staring at her, looking so peaceful for a few moments longer.
"So you need to treat her delicately. She'll need understanding and coddling. She'll have good days and very, very bad ones. You have to support her while she heals. She needs you more now than she ever did before." she puts a hand on his arm to make him meet her eyes which he does hesitantly, and she sees the sadness in them. "So can you be delicate?" she asks again with piercing eyes.
"Yeah, mate." he says with a nod, looking back to her in the bed. "For her I'll be whateva I've gotta be."
She nods and returns her hands to in front of her, pleased with his answer. "Good." is all she says in her usual enigmatic way. "You should go wake her. You should be the first thing she see's next time she wakes. She was asking for you, don't make her ask again." she says,giving him a nod in the direction of the bed.
"Right." he answers curtly again, lip disappearing under his mustache as he gathers himself to face the consequences of his actions. He knew he'd never forgiven himself for this happening to her. But for her sake, he would bury it deep and move forward. He needed to focus on being delicate now, like the wisest Shelby said. He didn't want to believe they wouldn't be able to put this behind them one day, but perhaps he needed to be prepared for the worst.
With a nudge of the door with his arm, his usually dominating saunter is reserved as he approaches this new evolution in Genevieve in her hospital bed. Where there had been so much life and vivacity before there is now a weakened shell. Her usual warm light brown skin is paled with a sickly yellow tint. The clouds of bruises that decorated her entire body, some in clear form of hand prints would be staying around as a painful reminder for weeks to come.
He lowers himself into the worn metal chair, he takes a moment to prepare himself to meet her eyes. “Chanah?” He calls upon her gently, taking her hand into his. it was as if he’d never noticed how much smaller she was before. She’d always looked so strong and full.
With a small noise of pain her face winces at the sound. She felt as if she had been waiting in hibernation for his voice to awaken her like a princess in a fairy tale. Her eyes open to find him there next to her, and not in the morphine fueled dreams she’d been having. “Ah.” Escapes her mangled throat as she tries to lean forward to him, arms out and hands creaking in their attempts to grab at him.
“Shhhh, love. Don’t strain yourself. I’m here, I’ll come to you.” He says with a gentle voice, leaning over the bed, bad back be damned.
She pulls him to her flush, her eyes tearing up as her hand runs through his soft hair, holding his head close to hers. She nuzzles into his cheek, savoring every small tactile sensation of his hair and beard and skin. Even in his clearly stressed and haggard state, his skin broken out with rough red patches, she wouldn’t have taken him any other way. She tries to squeeze him and whimpers, her skeletal fingers weakly digging into his jacket as she splays them painfully across his back. She needed to feel him, to know she he was real and she hadn’t died, that this was life and not the after life where she had feared she had been headed. Either way, in her morphine haze she comes to the conclusion that as long as he was there now, if she were alive or dead held less importance for her.
“S’alright love.” He says softly, his arm bracing him up while the other touches her arm so lightly she doesn’t even notice. He was now aware of her slight frame, the lean body that now trembled under his in pain. She had always been shorter, slender shoulders to be able to do the cat like sneaking she had. But with age and now the spread of hips and chest, she just looked small and soft, like she was made of kneaded and proofed dough in some places. Other parts were pointed, elbows and knees, swollen from overuse and strain. The usual roundness to her face was gone from both lack of food and water. A sad abused kitten where his powerful jungle cat had once been. “I’m not leaving you, Chanah. No need to push yourself.” He moves gently and she lets him, his face moving to find hers. The most gentle kiss to a spot on her jaw not blemished.
“Ah.” She tries again but fails, her bottom lip out and shaking like a child’s, a warning of tears to come.
“Doctor said not to speak.” He shushes her, a hand moving up to warm her cold and clammy skin, wicking away sweat and rouge strands of hair to look her over. He was using his skill of hiding his emotions in his face to the limit of his abilities for her, to not react to the marks of violence left behind, but it was not hard to look at her with love. For what she’d been through, it was almost as if it had made him love her more in some twisted way. Some dark part of him that was a devious gangster, a soldier and a Captain. It was as if she was now absolved of her precious faults. That her resolve through all the horrors and mistreatment made her a saint. She was something mythical and legendary now. A tale to be told of bravery and resilience. She was truly a gangster, no matter what choices she made hereafter, she would always be a woman of unmatchable strength. In their Jewish community, in their criminal acquaintances, and in her business, she would always have an air of untouchable strength to her now. An unbreakable woman.
“I brought you a little pad and pen so you could write out what you needed.” He says with a thoughtful tone, motioning to the table next to her. “I thought you might have some things to say.” He adds with his brows resting in a less enthusiastic expression. “And if you don’t that’s also fine, yeah? This is about what you want. Whatever it is you want. You let me know, right?” He brushes his nose against hers, not wanting to kiss her without her initiating it first. As Polly said, she’s been through things he couldn’t fathom. And he had every intention of respecting that.
Luckily for his poor heart, her hands which were full of twitches and tremors reach up and run through his beard, her eyes trying desperately to focus on him. Her brow shifts, her eyes twitching and fluttering, showing the bloodshot veins and the red wash of them in their injury to him fully. Eventually the pupils size up together, the cuts around her swollen socket reminding him of his boxing days as they helped her be able to see.
Her body lets out a sigh, her chest falling slightly as she pulls his face toward hers and kisses him. He pretends he doesn’t taste the blood, feels the splits and chap of abuse and neglect. It makes his stomach churn at the thought. A pain deep in his chest blooms as he comes to terms with the damage that must lie beneath this now cragged surface.
Her thumb runs across his lips, taking in every feature on his face, thinking about the time in the dark spent imagining it, wondering if she’d ever see it again. It hurt to kiss him, but the extra pain at this point for such a reward seemed insignificant.
“Anything you need, love. Anything you want. I’ll get it for you, yeah? You just write it down for me until that little swan neck of yours heals, eh?” He offers with a kiss to her nose. Be delicate. He reminds himself.
Already feeling her limbs growing tired, she lowers her arms and turns her head to face the bedside table.
“Would ya like it now?” He asks and she nods, triggering a spinning do her head that makes her eyes rapidly move behind her lids as she clutches the blanket on her chest for a moment. “We’ll figure out a hand motion for yes or no.” He offers up, feeling guilty for not realizing any little movement could send the throttled noggin of hers spinning. “When ya ready I’ll sit ya up wif ya pillows, love. I can move ya. No need for ya to try yaself.” He says as she steadies, holding the pen the best she can as her holds her back up and stuffs pillows behind her. The softness is appreciated and she suddenly misses her own bed.
She holds the pen with her dominant hand, only her pinky and ring finger being broken she manages with a determined face to write. She holds it up for him to read and it takes everything in him not to cry. ‘IM SORRY’ is scrawled across the paper, her handwriting not holding the same smooth feminine touch any longer.
“ Fuckin’ sorry?” He scoffs. “What the fuck do you have to be sorry for? Not a fuckin thing love!” He insists, his voice raising in his disbelief before he catches himself. Delicate, he recalls.
‘For getting taken.’ It says.
“Chanah.” His voice is broken as he drops to his knees beside the bed. “You were drugged and abducted, pet you did nothing wrong. Absolutely fuckin nothin do you hear me?” He says gripping her hand a little too tight in his emphasis as she winces and jerks away and his heart grows heavy. “You left somefin behind to! Exactly as we discussed dinnit ya? Even drugged ya did it. You did everything right. Beyond right, love you were fuckin perfect. You never apologize for this. To me or anyone. Ever. You got that? Never. You did nothing wrong.” His words carry him away, his mind moving fast and his heart pouring out as his face shows his desperation for the guilt she holds. “Im the one that’s fuckin sorry.” He admits with a hurt huff of air, almost a laugh at the outrageous thought she could be at fault. “It’s all my fuckin fault. You were right all along. I didn’t choose my actions very wisely did I? Didn’t recognize what a mad fuckin hatter...” he stops before saying his name as he sees her brows lower, the idea of the name bringing it all back, making it real as he sees her breathing pick up. “I’m so sorry, my love. I fucked up dinnit I. And you took all the consequences meant for me. It should’ve been me. Not you. You didn’t deserve a bit of this.” His head shakes as he takes a moment to breathe, kissing the back of her hand.
“Not true. I deserved it. I’ve done things too.” She writes.
“Nothin what would warrant...all ‘is.” He says with a slow drawl, and a slower shake of his head. “And from where I’m sittin, I don’t think you deserved any of it. Not after you went and made yourself a fuckin martyr for our family and the Shelby’s, eh? You’re a better woman than anyone I’ve ever known. You’re a perfect woman, Chanah. You are everything I could ever hope for in a person. And fuckin more!” He says with a surging of his chin forward as he sees her face stay down, almost frowning.
“I don’t feel perfect.” She responds, sliding the notepad his way.
His heart aches, kissing her hand, his breath traveling out across it as he exhales and presses his forehead to her skin. “I will spend the rest of my life making you believe it, Chanah.” He looks back up to her, snaking his neck to make her meet his gaze. “You are perfect. No matter what has happened. No matter what you may feel right now, or weeks or months from now. I’ll be here reminding you. Every fuckin day. My job innit it?” He presses his lips to hand and holds it there.
Her face softens, lips relaxing and twitching in thought. She nods slowly, looking at the texture of the thread in the blanket that covers the damage of her body from him. Will he still think that once the healing begins. Once her head doesn’t swim with every movement and she can process what happened to her. Will he still love her when she’s in pieces?
“Here, pet.” He says, quickly moving to reach into his pocket. “Will ‘is make ya feel better?” He asks with wide eyes, like he was bargaining with a crying child. In a lot of ways they both felt that was an appropriate simile. He pulls out his mother’s necklace he’d given her that she left behind. In his rush to feel like he was doing anything productive he’d had it fixed. It was the main piece for what he had been ready to give her that night. “Would you like it back? Remind ya of how lovely ya are eh?” He offers with a smile,but he isn’t met with one back.
‘Don’t lie to me.’ She writes, her face back to being hurt.
“I’d never.” He says with genuine hurt in his voice. “You could be in pieces love and I’d still think every bit of you was lovely.” He lays on the sweetness heavy, trying to tell her what he thought she’d want to hear, and in this moment, she accepted it.
She purses her lips and nods carefully, pulling her hair to one side slowly and he waits patiently.
He drapes the cold metal chain around the finger shaped bruises and the rope burns, a desperate attempt to distract from the injuries.
“Thank you.” She mouths, and that he can understand.
“You’re very welcome. It got lonely without you round to keep it warm and make it look so nice. Same as me, eh?” He offers, kissing her cheek. “I missed you more than all the flowery words I’ve got in me head can express, love. I was a fuckin sight without you, I was. Just like I said I’d be.” He gives her a kind smile with sincere emotion to back it up and she holds his hands in hers, a look of sleepiness passing over her face.
‘I love you.’ She writes, a subtle smile on her lips, but he would take it.
“I love you.” He says softly, lowering his head to her hands in submission, kissing every marked knuckle. “I love you so much, Chanah. More now than ever. More than yesterday and the same will be said tomorrow. Always more.” He whispers like a prayer against her hands.
Her fingertips move to touch his face, a slow and gentle sigh emanating from her body as she relaxed and laid back fully, sinking into the pillows.
“You’re exhausted love. Rest.” He suggests, moving back up to his chair with a grunt. “I’ll be right here. I innit goin nowhere.”
Her eyes are always half lidded, feeling the very exhaustion he spoke of taking her over.
“Sleep pet.” He whispers, brushing her hair back as her eyes shut. “I’ll be right here when you wake up. Always.” He seals his promise with a kiss to her temple, hoping his extravagant words didn’t come back to bite him. But in the moment he did truly feel that he could wait on her forever.
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mikeshanlon · 6 years
Text
he’s all that: chapter two
fandom: it
pairing: reddie (richie tozier/eddie kaspbrak)
word count: 5k
one | on ao3
summary:
Richie smiled smugly, “You’ve got spunk Kaspbrak. I like that.”
“Why don’t you try shutting the fuck up Tozier,” Eddie retorted as the line moved forward, “So what is this, if not some ploy to get me to tutor you? Some sort of dork outreach program? Because I’m not interested.”
Or: The one where Richie Tozier has six weeks to get into a relationship and make someone fall for him. Only problem? That someone is the anxiety ridden, goody two shoes Eddie Kaspbrak, and he can’t even stand to be in the same room as Richie.
warnings: there is drug use in that bev/mike/richie are HUGE stoners. also this chapter there is mentions to maggie being an alcoholic. 
a/n: hey! decided to post two weeks in a row just to get the ball rolling (which is why i still dont have all the chapters figured out as promised, my apologies). i'll probably start the every other week thing for next update (so chapter three should be up by march 4th). i would try to do every week but im a college student who has Stuff to do and also makes gifs and im horrible at finishing my writing so, giving myself a realistic deadline that will still hopefully produce quality work. anyways, richie and eddie finally interact this chapter! it's.......................  a bit messy though. and we get to see the rest of the losers club in this one too. 
tag list:  @richietoaster, @wintersember, @howellhxlic, @ed-txzier, @clara-farl3y
After standing in the hallway arguing with Bev for ten minutes, (“I mean really Bevs, fuck!” “You said anyone.” “How do we even know he’s gay?!” “Richie, please.”) Richie resigned himself to the fact that he was going to find some way to charm Eddie. Maybe Beverly would let him borrow that spellbook she bought junior year when she had become obsessed with witchcraft and hexing the patriarchy.
Once school was finally over, Richie dropped off Mike at his farm per usual, ranting about the bet the whole ride over. The farm boy nodded along, but he knew the words ‘told you so’ sat on the tip of his tongue.  
They pulled up to his house, the engine idling so he wouldn’t have to spend time getting it to start again, “Don’t wait up for me tonight if you wanna smoke. Got lotsa research in store,” Richie said as Mike grabbed his backpack and got out of the car.
Mike raised a brow, leaning into the passenger window (which in its broken state always stayed down), “I’m surprised Rich. You never do your homework.”
“Homework shmomwork,” he tapped the end of his cigarette out the window before taking another drag, “Gotta figure out what little ol’ Edward likes. Time for some deep dark internet exploration.”
“Ah, you’re gonna stalk him. Wasting time on social media does sound much more in character,” Mike smiled.
“It’s not a waste Mikey darlin’, a shit ton of preemo dank is on the line.”
The other boy laughed and shook his head, “Godspeed Tozier.”
Richie saluted Mike as he reversed out back to the main road, Bigmouth Strikes Again blasting on the old car radio.
He weaved through the streets filled with kids walking home or trying to find something to do in this shit-hole town. Long afternoons spent at The Aladdin watching the newest releases or aggressively slamming his fingers down on his favorite game at the arcade came to mind; along with going out of his way to bother just about everyone in his path. Richie never really had many friends when he was younger, spending most of his time alone. He was grateful he crossed paths with Bev and Mike, to fate, luck, God if it existed. The universe was rarely kind to him, but finding them was the best thing that ever happened to him.
Plus, the first time he had smoked weed, but that was with them too.
Turning onto his street, Richie pulled up to the unsuspecting two-story white house. It was straight out of a handbook on the American Dream; but the closer one looked, the imperfections started to appear.
The box overflowing with bottles once filled with alcohol next to the recycling bin, which was already too full with more empty bottles. A crooked ‘Home Sweet Home’ sign by the front door. Dying grass, overgrown and conquered with the little weeds Richie used to make wishes on before blowing the seeds into the summer air (I wish for friends. I wish for better parents. I wish to be loved).
He parked the station wagon on the curb, saving the space next to his Mom’s car for his father.
Maggie’s car hadn’t been driven in months (years?), and Richie absently wondered if it would even work anymore. It was nice, a decent heater and it drove well, at least it did when she had bothered to drop him off at school as a kid. Despite her general lack of care for the wellbeing of others, Mrs. Tozier did not drink and drive. Meaning, she didn’t drive at all, as she was drunk off her ass most of the time.
Richie grabbed his books from the backseat and clambered out, fumbling to find his house key among the mess of weird keychains he bought while high.
He didn’t bother stating his presence, even as a pretense, giving up the habit long ago.
Maggie Tozier sat outside, her back facing the screen door in the kitchen. A cigarette rested from her fingertips, and Richie wasn’t sure if she was actually smoking it or just watching it burn. Of course, her other hand gripped a bottle of beer, and a wine cooler sat at her feet.
Richie scoffed and bounded up the stairs to his room, a ‘KEEP OUT’ sign and band posters adorning the door.
It was often said that one’s room reflected who they were as a person, and Richie was no exception. That is, to say, his room was an absolute fucking mess. His bed was never made, and clothes and knick knacks littered the floor (he had already tripped over some beat up sneakers as he walked in). Old mugs, comics, a lava lamp, lotion, and an ashtray Bev had made him in ceramics sat on his bedside table (read: an old wooden apple carton). The only thing that he kept clear was his record player and vinyls at the edge of the bed, which were meticulously organized.
He tossed his notebooks on his desk, alongside stolen pens, his laptop, and his bong. If his parents actually fucking talked to him he would bother to hide his shit, but it didn’t really matter.
Picking up his laptop and its charger, Richie was on his way out again. He could stay home to conduct his research, but he hated the stuffiness and how lifeless the house felt. It wasn’t really even a home, at least not his. Plus, coffee. It was a necessity, especially for the amount of bullshit he’d have to go through just for the tiny brat.
Richie drove to the Starbucks on Main and Belmont, strolling up to barista and ordering his usual: venti quadruple-shot, black. While he often gorged himself on sweets, his need for caffeine could only be sated by the purest form the coffeeshop could offer.
Per usual, the barista gave him a look, “You sure?”
“Listen, I’ve already made a shit ton of horrible decisions today. Trust me, this is not the worst of them,” Richie answered, sliding the cash across the counter
She raised her brows but said nothing else, handing him the change.
He set up shop at a table by the window in the back, away enough from the other patrons. Most of the time Richie threw caution to the wind, but he figured it would suspicious if someone saw him furiously stalking someone who looked like they hadn’t even graduated from middle school.
After retrieving his coffee, opening his MacBook, and plugging his headphones in, Richie scoured Instagram first. ‘Eddie.k’ didn’t post much, mostly some artsy photos, including ones of Bill and Stanley Uris (their other best friend). There were only one or two selfies, much to Richie’s disappointment. Eddie wasn’t actually too bad looking if you ignored his clothes, his hair, his… everything. Freckles dusted his face, concentrated around his little nose, a few on his lips. Cute lips. Cute cheeks. He had the urge to pinch them. But Jesus, that combover. What was he, a balding man in the 80’s?
Other than those pictures, Eddie hadn’t really posted to Instagram in months. He moved onto  his tagged photos. They had some more substance, although Eddie had pretty much only been tagged in pictures by Bill and Stan. It wasn’t like Richie wasn’t in the same boat of having only a few close friends, but at least he hung out with other people.
For the most part, the pictures were pretty normal, the three of them hanging out. Richie couldn’t help but snort at a picture of the three, presumably after a sleepover. They looked exhausted, hair messy, and were brushing their teeth. Pretty mundane, but Eddie had pulled a ridiculous face in the mirror. It was silly, but Richie hadn’t even thought Eddie was capable of making jokes or doing weird shit. The fucker was always uptight, serious even when they had a substitute. Unsurprisingly, Eddie did not appreciate the post.
eddie.k: literally stan delete this!!!!!!
stantheman: @eddie.k, sorry sweatie (:
Richie grinned and continued to scroll, stopping at a picture of Eddie lying down on the grass, laughing. He wore a red tracksuit, the one students wore to P.E. when the bitter chill of autumn came to Derry. His hair must’ve been a little sweaty, because it was curling up into a messy halo around his grinning face. Richie wanted to know this Eddie, see him curl up laughing, but he knew that would never happen.
He perused their profiles for a while before growing bored, downing a third of his coffee before moving on. Except Eddie didn’t seem to have a Twitter, or a Snapchat. A quick google search of his name only came up with a few images and… a Facebook profile?
Richie prayed that it was an old one Eddie had never deleted, but after the page loaded he saw that the most recent status was made last night.
“Oh my fucking god,” he whispered to himself.
Eddie’s profile picture made him look particularly child-like, a weird picture of him pointing to the camera like he was cool, even though the same hand had a clunky old watch wrapped around it. His header picture displayed the quote ‘there is bravery in being soft’.
Richie snorted, “Yeah, a soft fucking dick!”
Another patron scoffed at his fowl mouth, and he shot her a smug grin.
Eddie only had 40 friends on the site, which consisted of Bill, Stan, some of the other nerds at Derry High, and his mother and her friends. It wasn’t like someone’s Facebook friends actually mattered, especially because only middle aged mothers who posted minion memes about their alcoholism used it anymore, but it was still kinda pitiful.
His posts were generally uninteresting, stuff like ‘super nervous for the math test’, or ‘soooooooooooo bored ://///’. Otherwise, he mostly just shared pictures of cute dogs and DIY videos.
It was hard to find any useful information on Eddie, since he obviously lied a lot. Not in the way of bragging, or saying that he did things he didn’t (like Richie did). But there were comments from Mrs. Kaspbrak’s friends calling him a lady killer, or a few posts calling Carly Rae Jepsen cute (please, Run Away With Me is the one of gayest songs of all time). Eddie was closeted, and Richie knew from experience that someone could never really be themselves around others if they weren’t out.
What his profile lacked in useable information, it more than made up with blackmail material.
Take, for instance, little Eddie in possibly the gayest fucking hat imaginable.
He screeched as he saw the picture of the eleven year old, a white fedora-bucket hat hybrid sitting atop his tiny head, before breaking out into a full on wheeze. Richie was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe, and then he thought about Eddie using his inhaler in that gay ass hat and laughed even harder.
The other customers began to stare, some concerned, and others pissed off at the disturbance.
Once he had collected himself somewhat, Richie sent a screenshot to the group chat.
the losers
bev: oh my fucking G O D
richie: I CANT FUCKIN BREATHE ELRNKKLNERG
richie: LIKE F U C K !!! KLJKLGRJKLLEJK
richie: LOOK AT HIS GAY HAT
richie: LIKE, IT’S GAYER THAN WEARING NOTHING BUT A PRIDE FLAG AND GLITTER
richie: HE LOOKS LIKE A TWINKY SKIPPER
richie: HOW IS THAT HAT MORE GAY THAN EVERY SINGLE ONE RYAN EVANS WORE IN THE ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL FRANCHISE COMBINED
bev: i’m muting you
mike: me too
mike: also that hat isn’t that bad
“‘Not that bad?!’” Richie squawked, not that he’d be able to hear him.
(Really, Richie had no authority on the subject. He still donned the occasional Hawaiian shirt over his tees).
He refreshed Eddie’s profile, seeing that he had made a new status.
Eddie Kaspbrak: big night friday, nervous but excited !!!!
Richie raised his brows in intrigue, seeing that Bill and a handful of other people liked the status. What was going on Friday?
He checked to see if Bill had posted anything, if Eddie was going somewhere, chances were Bill was too.
Bill Denbrough: almost the weekend, finally ready to let loose
Seriously, it would’ve been so much easier if Bill was the guy Richie had to woo. Kid was probably fucking nervous for a party, a place where you threw caution to the wind and had a good time. Still, he made a mental note about finding out what their Friday plans were.
Richie sighed, taking another swig of his coffee, “God, what a fucking loser.”
Suddenly, his headphones were being tugged out of his ear by an angry middle-aged woman with short-layered hair and eye bags.
“Hey, what the fuck?” Richie glared, snatching back his headphones.
The woman returned the look, putting her hands on her hips, “Don’t you have respect for the other customers?!”
“Sweetheart, I don’t have respect for myself, let alone some PTA moms-- like the post-divorce haircut by the way.”
Apparently, his finger guns did not soften the blow, because the lady started to scream at him.
And, apparently, this lady was also the manager, and was pushing him out the door.
So great, Eddie and his dumb gay hat got him banned from Starbucks.
Even though he was wounded from Eddie’s betrayal, (because Richie getting kicked out was definitely not his fault-- it was Eddie’s homosexual headwear. An anthropomorphic device of chaos, that Eddie owned, so, yeah, it was Kaspbrak’s fucking fault.) Richie still skipped smoking on Thursday to spend his lunch with the tiny fuck.
Obviously, they hadn’t made plans to do so, but Richie had, and he really couldn’t delay starting the bet. There was a lot on the line.
So, after getting out of econ (turning in an unstudied for but probably aced quiz), and throwing his shit in his locker, Richie detoured to the cafeteria.
The place was a fucking mess, and it reminded Richie just why he avoided the place. It was pure chaos, loud and overwhelming, a million things to get distracted by. Freshman with their stupid rolling backpacks kept whizzing by, making Richie trip or get his feet ran over. The tables were already filled, the honor roll kids, the partiers, Gretta and her gang. Fucking cliches.
He got in line, picking up a tray and proceeding to fiddle with the buttons at the cuff of his black and white flannel; trying to tune out the buzz of conversation. It was weird, at parties he thrived on the noise and disorder, but here all it was doing was fucking with his ADHD.
Richie drummed a beat onto his tray as the line moved forward and picked the most edible looking slop from the menu. The lunch lady glowered at him as he reached for his money only to realize he had put it in the other pocket, fumbling to put the bills and coins on the counter.  
As she put the money in the register, Richie looked around the room, checking to see where Eddie was sitting. He was sat near one of the exits, carefully taking out his lunch and swinging his legs. And he was alone. Perfect.
“Kid, do you want a receipt or not?” the lunch lady snapped from across from him.
Richie blinked back into focus, “Uh, sure, sorry.”
She sighed and printed out the receipt, slamming it down on the tray, “Next!”
Grabbing his tray, Richie plucked up some plastic cutlery and made his way through the sea of students to Eddie Kaspbrak. He had to twist and lift his tray a bit, but eventually the crowds started to part a bit. A chorus of whispers started to erupt. Stupid small town.
“Is that Richie Tozier?”
“I think, but doesn’t he always get high with his stoner friends?”
“What is he doing here?”
“God, he’s so hot.”
Richie smirked, sending a wink at the girl’s praise before sitting across from Eddie. He watched for a moment as the boy continued to focus on on unpacking his utensils and napkins before clearing his throat.
Eddie’s eyes snapped up from his lunchbox, widening when he saw Richie.
“What the fuck?” It was meant to be a whisper to himself, but Eddie’s voice was louder than expected.
Richie grinned at the blushing boy, “Well, hello to you to Eds.”
“Don’t call me that,” Eddie snapped, returning to his food.
Richie waited for him to say something else, at least fucking look at him, but the little fuck kept his eyes glued to his grapes, nails aggressively ripping the fruit from their stems.
“Okay,” he started, taking a sip of his apple juice, “So, you may be wondering why I’m sitting with you—“
Eddie interrupted, annoyance apparent in every fiber of his being, “Is this gonna be quick or not?”
“I’m hoping it’s not quick, although given how hot I am it’s difficult for people to control themselves.”
A long, deep sigh came from Eddie’s (cute, soft) lips. Eddie grabbed at Richie’s hands, flipping them over so that the palms faced upwards.
“Wow, a bit forward, but I’m liking your style Kaspbrak,” Richie winked.
Eddie rolled his eyes and proceed to take out hand sanitizer from his fanny pack, squirting the floral scented product into Richie’s hands.
Honestly, what the fuck?
He must’ve sent the same message to Eddie with his face, because Eddie said, “You obviously aren’t gonna leave me the fuck alone, and if you’re gonna be in my space, you need to be clean.”
Richie raised a brow at this but rubbed the hand sanitizer into his hands anyways.
Jesus Christ, what a weird, defensive little bitch.
Eddie watched with focused eyes, and only spoke when Richie was finished.
“Continue.”
It took a moment for Richie to gain his bearings once more. This mission seemed dead on arrival, but he had to keep trying anyways.
“So, Eddie…” Richie trailed off, twirling the pasta on his plate before his eyes lit up, “Eddie Spaghetti, Eduardo, what’s up?”
Eddie scowled, “That’s not my fucking name!” he squeaked, “And ‘what’s up?’ I mean, we’ve barely even talked before. You think I’m just gonna put up with this because you’re Richie Tozier? I swear to god, if this is some fucking bullying thing...”
Around them, people began to stare and eavesdrop at the sound of Eddie yelling. Fucking perfect.
Richie blinked back at the boy across from him, now red in the face for a different reason, “Calm down, I’m just trying to get to know you.”
“Fat fucking chance.”
Okay, wow. Richie had more work cut out for him than expected. He thought of what to say next as he watched Eddie finish his grapes.
“This isn’t, like, a joke,” (it wasn’t real either), “I just wanna hang out.”
“Hang out?” Eddie’s chocolate brown eyes met Richie’s, his tone mocking.
Richie nodded, “Yeah, ya know, kick it with the homies. Make out a little if you’re down. Friend stuff.”
Eddie’s jaw clenched, “You’re unbelievable. Just fucking unbe— you know, how can you even say any of that shit? How can we be ‘homies’ if we’ve never ‘hung out’ before? And don’t want to-- I’m not-- you don’t know me!”
There was something underlying in Eddie’s voice as he snapped, wavering at the end. Richie, like most things in life, was completely and utterly fucking up.
“Well then, how about we fix that?” Richie leaned forward, “I was wondering if maybe you’d wanna—“
Abruptly, Eddie stood up, grabbing his food and walked off, making his way towards the cafeteria line where Bill and Stan were paying for their lunch.
Richie looked around at all the watching faces, some snickering and others as shocked as he was.
“...Embarrass me horribly in front of all these people.”
He took a deep breath, and shoved some spaghetti in his mouth, his frown growing larger at the disgusting taste. Richie was often considered a wild card, but this was when routine was a good thing. He should’ve just avoided this and sparked up with Bev and Mike.
Actually, he was going to do just that. There was still some left in lunch, and no reason for him to stay in the cafeteria if Eddie was giving him the cold shoulder. More like a giant fucking iceberg but still, pointless. Besides, he really needed to get high now. Eddie ruined his whole mood and pissed him the fuck off.
Richie got up and tossed out the inedible garbage before going to the usual spot, finger itching for a joint.
He used his foot to push open the door, which would’ve been cool, except with his clumsiness and horrible luck he tripped forward, narrowly avoiding falling down the steps and face planting by grabbing the railing.
As Richie caught his breath and stabilized himself, he could hear his friends laughing.
“Back so soon?” Bev smirked knowingly, taking a drag.
Richie huffed, “Ha ha. Let’s yuck it up for my misfortune,” he grabbed her joint and took a long hit, “This fucking kid, Bev. I don’t think I can do this!”
“As in, you’re morally incapable of leading him on?” Mike asked hopefully.
“Please, let’s be realistic here Mikey. No, that kid is like, the fuckin devil incarnate. Shithead is fucking crazy!” Richie paced, smoking from the joint.
Bev laughed, “What makes you say that?”
“Why don’t ya ask the whole fucking school?” Richie snapped, though the anger wasn’t directed at her, “They were watching it all go down. If that wheezy asshole ruins my reputation—“
“What reputation?” Mike interjected.
Richie rolled his eyes and flipped him off.
Another voice spoke up, “I dunno, Richie’s pretty well known. I like him well enough.”
Richie whirled around, just noticing a new face among the usual group, Ben Hanscom.
The eternal new kid, since no one ever moved to ass backwards Derry, was not someone he’d expect to be behind the art building. Maybe reciting poetry or some shit, but not blazing. Ben was sweet and genuine, albeit a little shy. He was no longer the chubby kid he once was, more stocky and muscular now. They weren’t too close, as the tawny haired boy spent more time with Mike and Bev, and if not them, the other dorks (like Eddie and his friends). But either way, dude was pretty chill. Richie just didn’t really want him there mid-meltdown.
“Haystack?! You smoke?!” he whistled, “Ho-ly shit, who woulda thought!”
Ben shook his head, “Uh, no I don’t. Mike and I just had to study for history next block.”
His deep brown eyes flitted to Beverly, who had now stolen back her joint and was playing with the key that hung from her neck. Yeah, studying was the only reason. Not Ben’s excruciatingly obvious crush on the red head.
“We would’ve just gone to the library, but Bev and I made a bet about if you’d be successful or not today,” Mike said.
Richie gasped, “Betting on my failure? Fuck you guys, Benny Boy is my new best friend.”
“I didn’t sign up for that.”
“Hey, I bet on you succeeding,” Mike put his hands up in surrender, “She’s the one who thought you’d screw it up.”
“And I was right. Pay up,” Bev smiled, holding out her palm.
Mike dropped a candy bar in it with a deep sigh. She tore open the wrapping, taking a savage bite of the chocolatey sweet.
“I think you have a gambling problem,” Mike quipped.
Bev shrugged, “Not a problem if I keep winning.”
She grinned, her teeth covered in chocolate and spit. Gross. Ben still looked enraptured. Double gross.
“Anyways, can we focus on the important bet, and the fact that this fuck is impossible! Seriously, Bev, babygirl, pick anyone else!” Richie whined, plopping his bony ass on the cement.
“First off, don’t call me ‘babygirl’,” she flicked the ash off the end of the joint at him, “Second, the deal was anyone. You either woo him or you don’t.”
Richie opened his mouth to complain again but Ben beat him to it.
“I’m sorry, but what are we talking about?”
The other three looked at each other in panic. Ben was friends with Eddie, there was no way he could find out what was going on. The whole thing would be ruined before it started.
“Nothin!” Richie squeaked, “Just uh… bet that I couldn’t ace a group project. I usually just bullshit a lot of that stuff and leave it up to the others if I can. Partner’s just a little… high strung.”
Bev groaned and Mike sighed. A horrible fucking lie. Richie was already trying to formulate a better one in his head.
Ben smiled, “That’s nice, a wholesome, supportive bet. But you really should just communicate with your partner. They might be nervous because of your history is all.”
Richie let out a sound of relief before realizing Ben’s advice could actually be helpful.
“Sure, but I already tried to talk to him and it didn’t go well,” he explained.
Bev and Mike raised their brows, catching on.
“Well, how did you talk to him?” Ben asked, “Was it an ambush or a friendly conversation?
Bev snorted, “Ambush, knowing Richie. He doesn’t do friendly conversations.”
“Maybe with you, because you’re on my ass all the time,” Richie shot back, “But uh, she’s right. Shouldn’t matter though, everyone knows that’s how Tough Guy Tozier does his business.”
Mike groaned, “Please don’t call yourself that ever again.”
“You’re just coming on too strong. You have to consider what he likes, what he wants. A good partnership comes with compromise and communication,” Ben nodded sagely.
Richie ruffled his hair, putting on his trusty British voice, “Thank you Advisor Hanscom. Your wisdom is greatly appreciated.”
Ben smiled awkwardly, his eyes going to Bev once again, “Course.”
He took the joint from Bev, inhaling the musty smoke and blowing it out his nostrils, the burning sensation familiar and welcome.
“And maybe, you should talk to him sober next time,” Mike suggested.
Richie laughed, “Don’t be ridiculous.”
By the time the final bell rang, he was still feeling defeated and unsure of his next move. Sure, he’d have to dial back his trashmouth charm, try to seem actually invested in Eddie but… that wasn’t going to happen if the brat never talked to him again. Richie had to find a way to break the tension between them, start fresh.
He sulked to his locker, pulling out his shit from the looming mess. Loose binder paper and pencils fell onto the ground, and Richie just wanted to bang his head against the wall of metal. Also, go home and smoke while playing video games but, mostly, hit his head repeatedly. Maybe he’d lose enough brain cells to forget the entire day.
After a few moments of excessive cursing, Richie grabbed what he needed and got everything that fell back into the locker. He noticed a new post it on the door just before he closed it.
Don’t give up :) <3 - mike
Richie smiled, and slammed the locker shut with a resounding clang. With a little stretch and a fix of his glasses, he strolled through the halls, making his way to the parking lot to wait for Mike.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bill and Stan loitering around the halls as well, engaged in (an undoubtedly boring) conversation.
He remembered Bill and Eddie’s facebook status’ about exciting plans for tomorrow night and decided he should investigate.
“Billiam! Staniel!” Richie called as he approached them, “What’s up?”
The two stopped talking and looked up, Bill smiling while Stan rolled his eyes.
“H-hey, Richie,” Bill waved.  Richie noted that his stutter had gotten a lot better just over the past year. The two of them had shared a few classes when they were juniors and were pretty friendly with one another. At least compared to his relationship with Eddie and Stan, who also seemed to hate him for no reason.
Speaking of, the prim and proper boy was glaring at him, “Didn’t get enough of being a nuisance at lunch?”
Richie raised a brow, “Whatever do you mean?”
Stan scoffed, and opened his mouth to respond, but Bill put a hand on his shoulder, “N-nothing. Stan’s just… on edge. What’s up w-with you?”
“Not much, just trying to figure out what my plans are for tomorrow,” Richie shrugged, “Got any suggestions?”
“The only thing on your mind is where to party? Not surprised,” Stan quipped.
Richie shoved his hands in his pockets, biting his tongue. Snapping at Eddie was what caused his whole operation to go south, and he couldn’t mess up this second chance.
Bill ignored the tension between them, “Well, usually w-we don’t do t-t-too m-much, but it’s s-senior year. Probably going to Peter Gordon's party.”
“That kid’s an ass.”
“Coming from you, that’s rich,” Stan commented, his arms crossed.
His grinned, “Well, yeah, I am Rich.”
Stan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Yeah, he is, but he’s also s-super wealthy,” Bill avoided another ‘rich’ pun, “Meaning he’ll h-h-ave q-q-quality shit.”
Richie beamed, “Ah, I get it. You’re Robin Hood-ing that fuck. I like your style Billy Boy.”
He clapped Bill on the shoulder, and the other boy blushed slightly, “W-well, it wasn’t j-just my idea. Eddie and Stan helped.”
“Eddie? He’s coming with you guys?”
Bill shook his head, “N-no. He was supposed to, b-b-but that art thing came up so he h-had to cancel.”
“Art thing?” Richie asked, suddenly intrigued. This was the information he wanted.
“Yeah,” Bill nodded, “It’s this show that happens every month. At Jester Theatre. He always goes.”
Stan not so subtly elbowed Bill in the ribs, hissing at him to shut up.
“W-what?!”
“Yeah, what’s got your steamed panties in a twist Uris?” Richie smirked.
Stan sent him a scowl, “You know very well Tozier. Eddie told us all about what you did at lunch. Back the fuck off.”
“S-stan, I don’t think he meant--”
“No, Bill, he did,” Stan interrupted, “I don’t know what your game is, but if you hurt him…”
Richie put his hands up in surrender, “Hey, I’m not going to hurt him. He seems pretty strong anyways. I mean no harm.”
Stan didn’t look convinced at all. Fair enough.
The air between the two was tense, but Bill broke it by clearing his throat, “So, uh, will w-we see you at the p-p-party?”
Richie shook his head ‘no’, “Probably not. I have some more sophisticated plans lined up.”
a/n: hope you liked it! next chapter is p much all richie and eddie so get excited. if you enjoyed i would love hearing your feedback
oh and this is eddie’s gay hat if you were curious
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Family Outing
This thing here is for @ambermax15 with the prompt “Doctor’s sister, Master’s wife” This didn’t turn out at all like I wanted it to, so I hope you still like it. Also to be tagged is @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11 Because the littlun asked so politely.
Word count: 1991
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“Doctor, come on, it’s just for a day!” You complained, practically chasing your brother around the console of his Tardis.
 “No, I don’t want to” He refused again, changing direction when you lunged forward to grab for him. You growled quietly to yourself before walking around the console just enough so he could see you.
 “What, you don’t want to go out with your little sister?” You asked, feigning hurt.
 “I didn’t say that…” He tried to object, pausing when he saw your crestfallen expression. “But- he’ll be- and I- fine!” He finally relented.
 “Yay!” You grinned immediately, making the Doctor roll his eyes and huff in annoyance, no doubt regetting it already. You took advantage of his lack of attention to practically tackle him in a hug. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” You cried loudly, pulling away only after kissing him on the cheek. He grumbled to himself as he went back to fiddling with the controls on the console.
 “Sorry, so what’s going on now?” Your brother’s most recent companion, Donna, asked, frowning from her spot on the comfy chair off to the side.
 “Big bro here’s gonna join me and the Master for a little family outing” You told her smugly, hooking your arm into the Doctor’s as you grinned. He simply continued to grumble to himself as he pulled away, moving to the other side of the console. You couldn’t help but giggle to yourself at his reaction, you and Donna sharing amused looks.
 “Can I come?” Donna asked almost curiously, leaning forward as she did.
 “Best not” The Doctor answered quickly.
 “Why not?” Donna asked, her expression changing to offence faster than you thought would have been humanly possible. “Am I not allowed because it’s a ‘family outing?’”
 “No, for once, the Doctor’s right” You explained, prompting a noise of offence from you brother, which you simply ignored. “The Master doesn’t take well to humans, I’m trying to help him on that, but he’s always had something against them. Best not to end a family outing with him trying to kill you. Sorry Donna” Donna simply raised an eyebrow in return, as if not believing you.
 “Fine then, but you’re coming with us on one of our adventures next” Donna bargained. “I think we should drag her along more often Doctor, I like your sister almost more than I like you”
 “Oi! I thought you came along for me, not to gang up on me with her” The Doctor protested, coming forward to stand beside you. You rolled your eyes but grinned mockingly at him.
”Well she obviously likes me better Doc, some girls, time and space or not, just need another girl. So that’s where I come in” You grinned, high-fiving Donna. Your phone chimed and you pulled it quickly out, unlocking the device and quickly reading the text you’d just received, smiling to yourself. You hadn’t even really noticed the Doctor’s ranting about ‘stealing all his companions’ or something about the time you and Martha locked him in the Tardis while you went shopping until Donna chimed in with a “She’s not listening, Spaceman”
“Oh, yeah sorry” You told the two, shaking yourself out of your daze just as another text came in. You giggled to yourself at the words, blushing slightly as you typed out a quick reply. “Gotta go, dear husband is waiting on me” The Doctor rolled his eyes while Donna smiled. You quickly reminded the Doctor of the co-ordinates, date and time and threatened him should he be late before saying a goodbye to Donna and activating your vortex manipulator, quickly finding yourself in a very different Tardis. You were quickly pulled into a hug and let out a sound of surprise before laughing as you hugged back. The Master held you tighter as you did and you laughed again.
“Well someone missed me” You commented in amusement as he pulled away. “I was only on the Doctor’s Tardis for the one night”
“I know, but I haven’t been apart from you that long since we married” He pointed out, pouting as he absent mindedly fiddled with the ends of your hair. “And how come he gets to have you the whole night. You two grew up together, he’s had enough, it’s my turn” You laughed, batting his hands away from your hair as you turned to the console.
“You know I only go there to annoy him, plus, I spent the night in Donna’s room anyway. She wanted to have a girls’ night in” You explained to him. “And I had to get the Doctor to agree to this trip somehow” The Master sighed in annoyance, dropping his head onto your shoulder, making you smile as you rolled your eyes.
“Do I have to?” He asked, irritated.
“Yes” You answered simply, trying to keep the amusement out of your voice. “We’re leaving now, as a matter of fact” You flipped a switch on the console, powering up the engines only to have the Master switch them off again. “Hey” You chastised, turning your head to see him as he smirked at you, now standing at his full height beside you.
“Didn’t you read my text?” He asked lowly, wrapping his arms around your waist. You swallowed slowly, feeling the blush creep up again.
“I was with my brother, I didn’t linger on it” You pointed out. “Master, we have to go”
“We can go when ever we want, we have a time machine” He pointed out simply before leaning in for a kiss. What you thought would be a simple kiss was quickly proven otherwise and when you finally pulled apart, you were gasping for air. He smirked at you again, knowing he’d already won.
“I hate you” You muttered, pulling him down by his tie for another kiss.
The Doctor waited not-so-patiently outside his Tardis, checking his watch again to make sure he had the right time and date. You had said Earth, hadn’t you? He looked up when, a full fifteen minutes late, your Tardis materialised with the usual bout of wind, but silent as always. He thought he might never understand how you managed it, considering you’d promised him you’d never tell. He found himself rolling his eyes already when you stepped out first, hair fixed in a haphazard way and wearing different clothes to the ones you wore on his Tardis twenty minutes ago to him. He also couldn’t help but notice the Master’s tie pulled out from his jacket, although he tried his best not to.
“And here you were telling me not to be late” The Doctor pointed out, shaking his head at you in mock disappointment.
“Oi. Shut up” You shot back, slapping him half-heartedly on the arm before giving him a quick hug. “I’m thinking lunch” You told the two, taking the Master’s hand with a smile as you all set off. The Doctor followed along, already talking his usual ninety-miles-an-hour as he excitedly explained about some chip shop down the road he’d found a couple years ago. The Master tried to act disinterested, but kept glancing over as he listened, even through his glaring when the Doctor decided to wrap an arm around your shoulder like he did when you were kids.
You had actually been expecting a lot more fighting, especially when you left the two to go to the bathroom, only to return and find the Master talking more than you think you’d ever heard him. He was explaining exactly what had happened when the two of you had managed to take over leading some planet for two weeks before the original leader returned from some unannounced holiday and ordered you executed. The Doctor was obviously trying to seem like he didn’t approve, but smiled in amusement when the Master recounted your one-liners in particular.
You were smiling as you sat down beside the Master, saying a quick ‘hey’ as he gave you a kiss before continuing his story. You glanced across the table at your brother, expecting to see him rolling his eyes but finding him only glancing between the two of you before continuing to listen. After the Master had finished his story of the day you remembered well, you managed to prompt both of them back into your Tardis for a couple drinks. A couple drinks turned into a couple dozen, and soon enough you’d had enough to make even Time Lords intoxicated.
The next morning consisted of confusion in which you woke up in a two bed room alone in your bed to find your brother and your husband in the other together. After rousing them it took a full ten minutes to discern who’s Tardis it was, and another five or so minutes to find Donna in the kitchen. She laughed at you all as she made coffee to pass around and then showed you the pictures and videos she had gotten of the three of you after you stumbled into the other Tardis to come looking for her. Apparently some story of Donna led you to wanting to introduce her to the Master and she had been incredibly confused to find the man you wanted to protect her from hugging her when you all found her.
“Eventful family outing then?” Donna asked with a smirk, prompting a simple groan of approval and headache pain as you all sipped at your coffee. “I see you two are getting along now” She pointed out, gesturing between the two men. They glanced at each other and shrugged, returning to their drinks.
“That’s what happens when they share a bed” You muttered, twirling your mug between your fingers. You smiled as Donna laughed.
“Are they coming along then Doctor?” She asked, looking expectantly to him. “See the Doctor said he already had a plan for where we could go after you all had your family outing, and I only had a couple minutes to hear about it, but it sounds amazing” You glanced at your brother with a raised eyebrow and he shrugged.
“I don’t see why not” He agreed. You glanced towards the Master then, who shrugged the same.
“I suppose.. And you’re less of a buzz kill when your brother does it for you” He pointed out. You laughed at the Doctor’s protest, but nodded.
“Alright then” You confirmed, standing. You placed your now empty mug on the sink and patted both men on the shoulder as you walked back past to the door, Donna already up and following. “Allons-y” You and Donna laughed at yet another of the Doctor’s protests as you wandered down to the console room. Perhaps this family outing would be a bit longer than anticipated…
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sanhatation · 6 years
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ri’s thicc 2017 reflection post !
its still quite a few hours away from 2018 for me but i just wanted to take this time to reflect on my absolutely Lovely 2017!!! yay time 2 get sappy as i word vomit and overshare about my year on tumblr.com !!!!
thank you loads to all of my LOVELY followers !!!!!!!!! yall are the cutest, make my day on the daily ! i wish you the best 2018 that the world can offer !!! stay healthy, take time for yourself, love yourself, love others, and be kind! 💓💓
this Riley Rant here, is gonna be here for me than anything. like a Fat journal entry !! and i am an Oversharer so here she goes [jeopardy music]
to begin, i have met and befriended so many amazing people on here this year and WOW!!!!!! lovely and supportive and talented, beautiful aroha friends??? it doesnt get better than that!!!!! i would attempt to tag all of u but yall know who u are ;)) im endlessly grateful to those of you who have really made being on here worth it. heck ya sometimes im like “why do i even spend time on here” but then!!!! idk sunny comes swingin in with just a heart full of love or sara comes swingin in with her eggs or marian comes swingin in with her rare pairs or j comes swingin in with her baking posts and thats not even HALF of it !!!!! seriously.....love you guys tons.
to my friends who i have had the pleasure of remaining your friend this year and getting closer to u !! i love you. i really dont know how yall handle me especially 2015/2016 me?? a MESS! yall are the REALEST. again, yall know who u are ;)) i hope we can continue to talk and have fun in 2018, i wish yall the best. 
and lastly....heres a THICC shoutout to my six shining stars. 
as for me as an individual, 2017 was a freaking Whack year. it was incredible....dare i say, iconic. and now its time for.....RILEY’S 2017 HIGHLIGHTS !!!!!! (also includes: the sucky parts bc even those allowed me to grow !)
- man, did 2017 start out pretty rough when my country decided it was a good idea to elect a freakin cheeto for president. however! i had the lovely opportunity to attend the women’s march at my capital the day before inauguration !! and it was powerful!!!! truly an experience ill treasure forever!
- binch....thank u Winter Dream for my whole life. tbh i wont forget sobbing at my best friend’s house when it dropped. thank u Miss Again Dance Practice. thank u Miss You & Me MV. thank u Miss Cotton Candy Choreography. thank u. 
- ah.....when some pinhead started that tr*mp chanting at a basketball game lol! so iconic that we made the new york times! gotta love that....
- OMG !!! HOW TO SUCCEED !!!! an absolutely amazing experience. granted, the male lead was a Snake, but i had a blast. Rosemary will forever be close to my heart and ill always cry a little when i hear Brotherhood of Man or Paris Original !! such an awesome opportunity. i learned a frick ton about myself as a performer. i improved a ton in acting and dancing, and also came to learn that i am very good at receiving instructions and memorizing lines quickly. i learned that i need to work on some of my facial expressions and i also learned some of my habits ! i miss u Queenie H2$ :’’)
- had my first tap dance performance ever??? i really enjoyed learning tap, and i hope to pick it back up in the future !!!!
- BIIIIIINCCH i had the opportunity to visit my sister in korea!!!!!!! wow.....truly the BEST week of my entire year, maybe even LIFE! i went to the dog cafe, the sheep cafe, mcountdown, the lunar festival kick off, gwanghwamun palace, dongdaemun, shopped a ton around hongdae, ate food by the han river, visited namsan tower (but not without getting lost), hit the noraebang TWICE, walked into a private Fantagio board meeting, ate delicious chicken on a STIIICK, ran in the rain, ordered delivery mcdonalds, had the BEST fried chicken, met a bunch of monks, was led around dongdaemun by a very old korean man, SAW EUNWOO AND DOYEON AND RECEIVED MUCH LOVE AND NEARLY DIED, hit the convenience store literally every day, snuck out, GOT A WAVE FROM KEY :((( , bought Winter Dream and lots of skin care products and lots of cute clothes, had the clearest skin ive ever had in my life, went to a buddhist temple, witnessed a drunk man fall into the splits inbetween the ground and the subway, ran up and down 1000 subway stairs, fell in love with a man named Peanut, drank too much banana and strawberry milk, sobbed my face off at the festival as korean grandmas bowed to me, tried tons of new foods (including the nastiest bowl of cheese ramyun ive ever had in my life), bought lots of socks, rode an airplane for......like 40 hours in total? literally the best week of my Life
- had my junior vocal recital ! it was a cute girl. i felt my acting had really improved since sophomore voice recital !! 
- had prom on my 17th birthday and had a jolly good time !!! my mom made my dress and i felt like a Stunner
- dream pt. 01...she rly is that Bad Bih. best era. miss her loads. none of us ever deserved her. 
- les mis !!!!!! two whole weeks.....another Best Time. i learned so much, made so many lifetime friends, had a blast, sang my heart out.....such a freaking good time. i miss her
- got to spend the ENTIRE summer with momo!!!!!!!!!!! literally the ENTIRE!!!!! and what did we do? hit the park, watched lemonade mouth and fantastic beasts and starstruck and that random unicorn movie, made the Best slime, made that ICONIC weki meki video, laughed a ton, cried a ton, stayed up all night for the sunrise, stayed later for the sunset & thunderstorm, walked home in the pouring rain & lightning (IT IS VERY WET), went to the beach, met many dogs, got me hairs cut, befriended that Cat, and went to a painting class
- cabin week !!!!!!!!!!! whatta lovely time
- my brother’s wedding !!!! honestly? my best outfit of the year... had a bangin time. his wife is truly a cutie and i love her tons!
- there was that Mess in august and i still feel sorry to those who felt hurt because of it. i learned a lot about how things especially on the internet can be easily misunderstood and misinterpreted, so u gotta be EXTRA careful with your words ! 
- through that i also came to accept that u cant get everyone to understand or like u, and tbh that is okay for now. all we can do when we make mistakes is try to understand & learn, apologize, and try to better ourselves. and sometimes even when u do that, u still may not be liked. and thats okay. as long as you are trying your best and recognize mistakes, its all good. 
-skinny dipped at girls time wow what a freaking TIME
- woah dude i dropped out of my arts school lmao!!! the BIGGEST change in my life since 2014.;..wow! i dont even have the words to say how much stress was lifted off of me and i love senior yr !!!!
- momo came to CT!!!!!! 
- seeing svt live !!!!! but tbh the best part was seeing momo, “I LOVE A MAN WHO CAN SEW”, “I!!!!!!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JIHOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, “IM UNDERAGE”, and when Mo BLASTED to that other line
- LAKE COMPOUNCE LMAOOOOO I LOVE JIHOON PT2!!!!
- my mom, sister, and i took an eight week painting class! i finished two paintings and learned a ton!! honestly a good time
- dream pt. 02.....shes that other Bad Bih....absolutely adore her
- i also learned that its okay to cut people off who are toxic. especially if you have already informed them that they make u feel bad, they are not worth trying to please or keep around. take care of yourself. similarly, its okay to block people, and you dont owe them an explanation
- MADI CAME HOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my other half...missed her so much :(((
- riley’s calligraphy christmas !!!!! was so much fun and i loved people’s reactions and i loved learning arohas favorite astro lyrics !!!
- ah...............one of the hardest weeks of my whole life. the pain still lingers, and i know itll hit me again like a boulder the next time we see only four of my angels standing on stage. for four months, i was worried sick about another member, and i even knew he was hurting, that his mental illness was real. my heart aches and there is a piece of it missing, but it will never be replaced. i know you are much happier now, jjong. i love you. 
- and also because of that, i have been able to think a lot about how i live my life. thoughts like ‘am i watching out for my family and friends enough?’ ‘am i listening enough?’ ‘is this funny comment worth it?’ ‘am i happy?’ im trying to be better. to not take things for granted, to only be kind, to always be there for those i love, for those who love me. and i will try my hardest to not complain about small or petty inconveniences. to try harder to be optimistic. 
- christmas was with my whole family for the first time in five years ;;; she was such a cute girl!
and now on to the next act !!!! its called RILEY’S NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS !!!!!!!!!! 
1. lets start with the basic stuff that im 99% not gonna pull through on: keep ur room clean. keep everywhere u go clean, it makes mom upset. eat better, u know there is other foods in this house besides peanut butter and pepperoni and popcorn. 
2. send out at least one Lovely Ask per day. i made this goal sometime over the summer, and i did it for a few months until i started to forget ;; its not that hard, u just gotta remember to do it !! 
3. sis.....quit Procrastinating.......GET ur FREAKING application done...do ur homework the night before lmao! call who u need to !!! write those thank u cards!!!! go get them scholarships!!!! enter that graphic design contest lmao!!! just DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! time is wasting
4. just be happy 
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