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myfictionaldreams · 1 year

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Don’t Fall Asleep // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: It was supposed to be a normal day, but not in fate's eyes as you and Sam are hit by a drunk driver. How will Steve and Bucky react when they hear their girls been hurt?

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, angst (LOTS), Fluff, car crash, blood and injury, crying, anxiety, hurt/comfort, recovery, domestic bliss, teasing, praise kink, daddy kink, fingering, multiple orgasms, nipple play

Words: 5.1k

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Life is precious, something that many take for granted. On occasions, phrases such as ‘live life to the fullest or ‘you could die tomorrow, take the opportunities as they come’ are often quoted but then disregarded. Every person who is living, has ever lived and will ever live; will experience the positives to living, the happiness that swells in their chest but then the balance to this, that makes living so tumultuous was the sadness and darkness that could destroy lives in a blink of an eye.

You, for one, were thankful for all of the time that you’d been able to share with Steve and Bucky. They’d changed your life to an unimaginable level, having never experienced true love, protection and simplicity until being in their areas. But of course, happiness can only last for so long, too many opportunities for near misses within the mafia that your luck was bound to run out at some point.

The real kick in the teeth was that this darkened day in your life was even centred around the gang and its criminal activities. In fact, it had been a rather plain day for you, starting the same as any other, Steve and Bucky attending the office to make sure everything was running smoothly and you’d planned to run some errands with Sam Wilson, your friend and bodyguard.

So far, you’d been food shopping, collected a couple of parcels and now were on your way to the art shop to pick up a few supplies for Steve who liked to draw in his spare time.

Sam was driving the two of you, rolling his eyes playfully as you flicked through the radio channels, not finding any satisfaction with what was being played and being too lazy to connect your phone to the bluetooth.

“Oh, I love that song!” Sam gasped, brushing your hand out of the way and switching to the channel you’d just casually skipped past. You laughed at his excitement, happy to also listen to the song if it made Sam happy which by his exaggerated singing, he was definitely enjoying it.

The roads around you weren’t excessively busy, thankfully the football was on so the majority of people were inside a bar and watching that. It was just a perfectly mundane, normal day but life always liked to test your limits when you least expected it.

The initial impact was something you wouldn’t ever remember, as a drunk driver smashed into your side of the car, causing it to flip several times before landing upside down. You’d been knocked out for a couple of minutes, only just waking up as Sam’s urgent shouts made it through the buzzing in your ears, your entire body felt lifeless and drained as he was able to undo your buckle and pull you a safe distance away. The drunk driver who had crashed into you had died on impact.

It was as the sirens blared in the distance, did you begin to feel the wetness and warmth starting from your head and moving down various parts of your body but you were completely dazed to understand that you’d sustained a head injury, your right wrist and leg broken and pointing in the wrong angles and a multitude of cuts and gashes covering your exposed skin due to the glass.

Sam was holding a section of his ripped shirt against the area of your head that was thumping along with your racing heartbeat, and in his other hand, he held his phone plastered to his ear. You couldn’t tell who he was on the phone too, but the desperation in his eyes, as he looked down at you, it wasn’t good. As you had taken the direct hit of the car and Sam was on the other side, he had the pain and aches from the whiplash, a deep gash through his eyebrow that was steadily leaking blood and then a scattering of cuts from the glass, otherwise was mostly unscathed.

“That’s it, sweetheart, keep looking at me, the medics aren’t far away”, Sam’s voice sounded as if he was underwater, completely drowned out by the high-pitched, excessive buzzing that still consumed your consciousness. “Yeah, she’s awake-” Sam continued on the phone, unbeknown to you, to your boyfriends who were already in the car and driving to the area.

Oh course, he had already called the medics, as well as a couple of people from the growing crowd around the accident and soon after called his bosses, Steve and Bucky who sounded like they were both going to throw up and kill someone at the same time.

“Sam?” you managed to ask, not for anything in particular, in all honesty, you were just trying to reach for some kind of comfort and seeing him above you as just that.

“It’s ok, the boys are nearly here, you’re doing so well, just keep your eyes on me, please sweetheart, NO- don’t close your eyes”, Sam tried to keep you awake, dropping his phone onto the pavement below to give you his fullest attention but you were already unconscious again.

The next time you’re awake again, the paramedics had arrived and neck support had been attached to keep you stationary. “Hey y/n, can you hear us? Can you squeeze my finger for me?”, the closest medic was asking but you didn’t respond, mostly still out of it, dazed and confused.

Then across the commotion, the deafening screech of ties breaking across the tarmac was heard and the frantic shouts of your name as Steve and Bucky had arrived. This was something you would never remember, your eyes closed before they even reached you and it was probably for the best that you couldn’t remember it, possibly only adding more trauma to the situation.

Sam stepped back and watched the scene unfold before him, giving both of your boyfriend's room to be next to you as the medics continued to look after you. The bodyguard wiped a hand over his face, ignoring the painful injuries as tears welled in his eyes at seeing his bosses and also life-long friends completely break down.

They seemed lost between wanting to still be possessive, demanding to know everything that the medics were doing, and then the heartbreak of seeing you so injured and unresponsive, they didn’t know whether to shout or cry. At one point Bucky had to step away to vomit, it was complete chaos.

It took a couple of days for you to be fully conscious again and even this wasn’t a relief, even though it was something that Steve and Bucky had begged to anyone that would listen to occur. The confusion of the accident was still evident, unsure of where you were, why you couldn’t move properly, and why there were so many things attached to your body. You became quickly hysteric, ignoring the pleas from Steve and Bucky to try and calm down but your response was enough that the doctors deemed it appropriate to try and sedate you back into a peaceful sleep.

This was definitely for the best as you weren’t able to comprehend the state of which your boyfriends were even in, something that definitely would have upset you further. They both hadn’t changed their clothes the entire time, malnourished of food and drink as they obsessively sat next to your bed, day and night, unshaven, the whites of their eyes red from lack of sleep and crying. Both would take it in turns to go to the toilet before coming so you always had someone next to your bed, it was obsessive and no matter how many times the Doctors tried to escort the men to get some real sleep, they would simply shoot daggers at the professionals with their eyes before being left to it.

Thankfully after every scan and test that was done, it was determined that there would be no lasting damage, the wound on your temple was sutured with dissolvable stitches and your wrist and arm were placed into casts, with physiotherapy planned in the future and of course, your body was deeply bruised along with whiplash strain. Now, they just needed you to wake up to assess the memory loss and if there was any other damage from the impact to your brain.

They were lucky that the gang were able to continue as usual with the remaining members who had all been ordered to not disturb you all, no distractions necessary. Natasha was the only person to have the courage to visit and thankfully didn’t back down from the fight as she gave both of her bosses a stern talking too.

“When she wakes up, which SHE WILL, do you think she’d want to see you both looking like this? She’s injured and will be for some time, she shouldn’t be waking up with you both in this state, it’s probably make her more distressed. You need to get your shit together, go and shower, shave, eat a proper meal, and put on some new clothes so that when she wakes up, she has some stability and you’re actually prepared to look after her rather than moping around feeling sorry for yourselves!”.

In any other situation, Steve and Bucky would have been ready for a fight but Natasha’s brutal honesty was what they needed to hear, not as their employee but as their friend so they did exactly that.

Another 24 hours passed and you were finally beginning to stir, eyes fluttering open and head turning in the direction of the welcoming voices of your boyfriends and for the first time in days, they saw a hint of a smile on your beautiful face. You had no recognition of the last few days or anything from the accident but after a few further tests, they were happy to discharge you home to rest which you needed as it was complete agony to try and move with the ache in your muscles.

The two men didn’t seem to want to let go of you the entire time, if they were holding your hand, they were rubbing small circles against your uninjured leg, or stroking their thumb against your cheek, it was almost as if they were scared that once they let go of you, something bad would happen.

This only aided with the fact that you couldn’t walk was just another excuse for Steve and Bucky to carry you everywhere which was difficult at first with the discomfort in your body but it was better than any other option and it meant that you could properly embrace them, even for those short moments.

Then at long last, you were home, and you couldn’t deny crying happy tears as you saw the decorations that had been left in surprise by the Rogers gang, banners reading “welcome home!” and balloons covering nearly every surface of the living room. Everything was perfect, even the natural smell of your home was enough to have you crumbling into a mess.

It was hard to try and get accustomed to living at home after surviving such a traumatic experience, the physical and emotional toll was something no one could have prepared you for. As the three of you settled into your bed that evening, you had to find the right way to lie with the casts on your limbs still making it difficult to move and the ache still throbbing throughout your neck and spine, it wasn’t particularly comfortable. But finally, with you lying in the middle, your leg propped up on a couple of pillows, Steve to your right and Bucky to your left, you began to comprehend everything that had happened.

You sobbed harder than you thought possible, even becoming breathless as you verged on hyperventilating at thinking about your life nearly ending. Steve and Bucky tried to soothe you but their own emotional trauma came to a head as they too revealed their devastation at nearly losing you, both men crying as you all held one another.

But as the saying goes: ‘time heals all wounds’.

It wasn’t easy, not that you’d expected it to but as each day passed and your body ached less and less and the scratches began to heal, it lessened the pain in your heart. There would always be struggles but they were made easier with your devoted boyfriends.

With the broken wrist, it was difficult to cut your food and eat so Steve and Bucky insisted on feeding you, even if you could use your one hand to lift a fork to your mouth, they were going to make sure you rested in any way, smiling as they fed you every bite of every year. The worst change was going to the toilet, the boys offering to wipe but this was one step too far, you could do that but it was getting up again off of the toilet or waking them in the middle of the night that had your cheeks burning with embarrassment but they were more than happy to help you

“I’m here to look after you, no matter what it is that you’d like, I WANT to do it Doll. Ii know you want some dependency but this isn’t forever, it’s just for now so please let me look after you”, Bucky sweetly said after you frustratedly dropped your shirt to the floor, having been struggling to put it on for a while.

After a week of being home, Sam finally came to visit and once again you found yourself crying as he dropped to the couch and you both held onto each other. He’d been given some much-needed time off to recover and had been visiting his sister and nephews but now, he wanted to come and visit, really see that you were healing.

Finally gathering your emotions, you pulled back and wiped your face of tears, a genuine smile replacing your sad features as you saw the scratches over his face had most healed, only leaving the healing cut over his eyebrow.

“Everyone is going to love this new rugged look”, you commented, glancing at his injury. “The ladies will come running with the bad boy look”.

“Ah I know, who could deny such a handsome face, it’s a curse believe me”, he joked back, relief also settling over his body at hearing you relaxing. “Even better now we’re matching, bet we look like a right pair of hooligans”, he joked, looking up at the plaster still attached to your head covering the healing stitches.

“I think it just adds character”, you grinned back at him before your smile slowly faded as your tone became more serious. “Sam… I can’t even begin to thank you for looking after me”.

Sam’s eyes dropped to look into his lap, losing the strength to hide his emotions, “I didn’t do much-”.

“Yes, you did! You pulled me out of the vehicle and looked after me before the medics arrived, but it’s not just during this accident, you’ve always looked after me. I’m so grateful to have you in my life and I’m so glad you’re ok”.

Sam’s eyes twinkled as he looked up, his throat bobbing as he couldn’t muster up the words to talk, instead just pulling you into a hug that conveyed more emotions than words could have. Steve and Bucky also pulled Sam into crushing hugs, “Thank you for looking after our girl”, whispered between friends.

“Please go and put your feet up Sam, you deserve the time off!” you shouted after Sam as he moved towards the exit.

“I’ll try my best Boss Lady, you rest up too”, he replied with his beaming smile returning to his handsome face.

Another day passes as you sat at the edge of your bed with Bucky on his knees between your legs, his expression stern and unblinking as he concentrated on his job at hand.

“How does it look, is it horrible? Is it long? Do I look ugly?” you asked, looking up at his face as he leaned in closer to your face, his fingers gently easing the plaster away from your face as he inspected the stitches on your head.

“You could never be beautiful”, he mumbled under his breath, easing the last corner of your plaster off and then sitting back to assess the sight before him. Bucky’s face dropped causing your heartbeat to increase frantically in your chest.

“What? Is it bad? Bucky what is it?!” you asked desperately. Racing across the bed, you tried to pick up the hand mirror to have a look yourself but Bucky snatched it up before you could grab it, holding it at arm's length so that you couldn’t reach it.

“I’m not sure that you’ll want to see this Doll”, his voice was low and thick with concern.

“Oh my god Bucky please tell me, has it healed wrong?” You were really beginning to panic now, about to call for Steve to come and help when Bucky’s hard exterior broke and a taunting grin spread across his face making his eyes crinkle in the corners.

“You look just as beautiful mama”, he affectionately whispered, kissing your cheek and handing the mirror to you to show that the injury was nearly completely healed, only a different toned colour lay on your forehead, the stitches mostly invisible.

You rolled your eyes dramatically realising that he had been teasing you, “That wasn’t nice Barnes”.

“Ah, but you love me”, he mocked, lips brushing against yours softly, only enough to feel the slightest pressure of his soft lips.

“Yes I do”, you gave in instantly, using your uninjured hand to cup his jaw tenderly, stroking against his slightly stubbled skin, holding him there to kiss more deeply.

Before anything became too heated, Bucky was pulling back, pecking the tip of your nose before helping you into his arms to carry down for some dinner.

This was how it had been since returning from the hospital. It wasn’t that you were rushing to be intimate with them but they were both so adamant about your healing that there had been a very strict: no-touching rule. At first, when it even hurt to move you were more than happy to comply with the instruction but as your mobility improved and their kisses began to linger for longer or hands would wash over your body with more intent than to clean your skin, it was becoming more difficult to resist the urges that you were experiencing.

Downstairs, Steve was preparing a stew for you all, chopping the vegetables on the counter and smiling over his shoulder as he saw you and Bucky approaching. As Bucky placed you at the dinner table that was in the sizeable kitchen, Steve wiped his hand on the kitchen towel and sauntered over, leaning his arms on either side of your chair, his eyes level with your revealed head injury.

“It’s looking good isn’t it?” Bucky commented as he took over Steve’s job of chopping up the vegetables.

“It does, and it’ll keep looking better with each day, the Doctor did a good job of fixing up my baby”, Steve responded, his finger under your chin to tilt your head back so he could leave a searing kiss against your mouth. Your body leaned into a kiss and then he was moving away far too prematurely, leaving you wanting more but you didn’t verbalise this, not having the heart to complain after they’d been looking after you so much.

“Could I… Could I help in some way please?” you asked, looking hopefully between Steve and Bucky as they continued with prepping dinner. The two glanced at each other before Steve walked over with a chopping board, knife and carrot that had already been peeled. “Thank you!” you beamed up at him, happy that even though there were so many things that they were willing to help you with, they did try and give you some independence.

Not that it was easy to try and chop up a carrot with one hand still in a solid cast so after far too many attempts at sawing into the carrot, you decided instead to slam the knife down in sharp chops, leaving the carrot in three large chunks.

“Um… done!” you nervously announced to the boys.

Steve returned to pick up the chopping board, “good job, baby”, he praised, kissed the top of your head and you grinned as he placed the carrots in with the rest of the mixture, even though it was extremely obvious which carrot you had chopped compared to Bucky’s thinly sliced carrots. You loved the way they handled you, there was no hint of condescension from either of them when you tried to help and it was all to help you get back into a routine of normality.

Even if they did still continue to feed you which you secretly enjoyed now as it meant you get to sit in either of their laps and feel close to them.

That evening, you asked if you could have a bath which they were happy to help you into, Bucky was in charge of keeping your arm and leg outside of the tub to not get the cast wet and wrapping them both in cling film took entirely too long. Whereas Steve was in charge of washing your body with a sponge slathered in shower gel, another insistence from them both, even though you were more than capable of washing your body with your other hand.

You couldn’t wait for these damn casts to be off, “I can’t wait to have a shower”, you vocalised to them both, watching as Steve washed across your shoulders from where he sat on the edge of the bathtub.

“Hmm. I am going to miss this though”, Steve observed, not hiding that he loved being able to look after you. Closing your eyes, you enjoyed the little pamper session but as the sponge grazed over your perked nippled, you couldn’t help but lean into the touch, a moan forming in the back of your throat.

Steve’s chuckle had you looking up at him through half-lidded eyes as he asked, “Did you like that, baby girl?”

“Yes”, you admitted, watching as he did it again, paying particular attention to the very peaks of your nipples and then rubbing over the rest of your breasts in circular movements.

There was nothing you wanted more than to feel their bodies pressed against yours but with your limited use and weakness throughout your entire body, even with your good hand, you knew you’d tire quickly and not be able to satisfy them so you still refrained from asking them to fully pleasure you.

“You’re so beautiful, Mama”, Bucky watched with dark eyes, licking his lips almost hungrily and you whined at the sight, back arching more into Steve’s movements.

As the sponge moved over your body, through the water that lapped against the edges of the porcelain tub, you noticed the way that Steve was pressing more firmly on certain areas, especially in between your legs that had you grinding to feel more.

But like all of the other times, he never made a move to go any further and you were feeling more sexually frustrated than you had before, even after they both helped to dry you with a towel, in between your legs remained damp as your juices still trickled out.

Bucky carried you to the bed, placing you in the middle, the same as every night and you were completely naked, something that you had quickly decided was the comfiest, it always takes far too long to put on your pyjamas when Steve and Bucky always wrapped around you and kept you warm.

As you settled into the bed, leg again propped up on multiple pillows, you waited patiently for the boys to both join you as they cleaned the bathroom. However today, it was taking far too long and if you concentrated hard enough, you could hear them both talking quietly to one another.

As you opened your mouth to ask what was taking them so long, they joined back in the bedroom, removing their clothes, save for their boxers, switched the lights off and clambered into bed. As their overtly warm skin smoothed against yours, your questions slipped into the back of your mind, finding their comfort already distracting.

With a kiss on each of your cheeks, you closed your eyes to try and go to sleep and ignore the agonising ache in your core. But it seemed Bucky had other ideas as his hand rested on your abdomen, over your belly button, his thumb stroking the skin in slow circles as his hand dripped lower and lower.

You didn’t stop him, chest rising and falling with increasing speed as his fingers teased over your mound, the lowest that they’d been since between the accident. Your breath caught in your throat, screaming in your mind for him to keep going, to dip that little bit lower.

Steve’s hand cupped your jaw, the touch distracting you from the one teasing to push between your legs as he forced your head to turn in the direction of where he lay. Opening your eyes, even in the dark you could see his intense stare, as he began to speak, his minty breath coated your face, “Do you want us to keep touching you, baby?”

“Yes”, you sounded more desperate than you’d hoped to, his question feeling like some sort of light in the darkness, now realising this must have been what they had spoken about in the bathroom.

“You sure you’re feeling up to it?”, he continued to ask, his fingers moving over your jaw and down your throat, grazing over your collarbone and still lower until hovering over your left nipple.

“Yes, fuck yes”, you groaned, arching up to feel his hand but he kept it far enough away that you didn’t get the touch you wanted.

“If you get too tired and overwhelmed, will you tell us?”

“I promise!”, you pleaded, moving your unbroken leg to the side slightly, giving Bucky more room. “But…But I also want to touch you, I want you both to feel good!”

It was Bucky who spoke next, his mouth moving to graze the shell of your ear as he tutted, “Not tonight Doll, let us make you feel good, wanna hear your sweet moans, you deserve this, you’ve done so well”.

You were moaning before his fingers even slipped lower but as the tip of his middle finger grazed between your folds and touched against your throbbing clit, your whole body seemed to come alight.

Steve's fingers then lowered as well, in time with Bucky, pressing against your nipples and he groaned at just how hard they were, gently pinching and tweaking them before grasping the entire breast and massaging the tissue.

“You’re so wet for me Honey, is this what you wanted? Did you want us to touch you here?” Bucky teased before nipping the lobe of your ear.

“Wanted it so bad!”, you gasped as Bucky moved lower, finding your hole and circling it a few times, feeling just how soaked for him that you were before pushing in a single digit, not stopping until it was all the way in. “Bucky!”

Your walls fluttered around him, having not been penetrated for what felt like so long now and he was careful to start slow, really building up the pressure which matched with Steve’s hands on your chest, was already driving you insane with arousal.

In and out his finger slowly moved, his thumb skillfully brushing over your clit to match his pace. Then he was adding another finger and your leg widened further, thighs shaking slightly as you had to refrain from reaching out for them both, knowing that you’d end up knocking your broken wrist so kept them at your sides.

“That feels so good Bucky,” you praised, turning your head towards him.

“Yeah? Want me to make you cum, Mama?” he asked, his lips now hovering over yours.

“Yes, please!”.

As his lips met yours, hastily moving against each other, Bucky’s fingers began to curl and his thumb applied more pressure. Every nerve in your body seemed to come alive as they were being pleasured and you were experiencing the ultimate thrill. Your core was tightening with each tug against your g-spot, chest rising and falling harshly into Steve’s grasp as he moved between each breast, each sending sparks straight to your cunt.

You were a wet, babbling mess when the overwhelming sensation to cum took over, not even having time to tell your boyfriends but they already knew you were close and began touching you with more urgency.

Your pussy began clenching in quick succession as your orgasm destroyed you, pulling away from Bucky so you had space to scream out his name, hips bucking widely at the touch until it became too sensitive.

Bucky eased his wet fingers out of you, bringing them up to his lips and humming at your exquisite taste that he’d been desperate to taste for so long.

Steve gave you another moment to gather yourself before his fingers began to fill you up, replacing where Bucky was, two fingers rocking in and out as his thumb rolled your clit in a circle. Bucky’s metal fingers then teased your pebbled nipples, the cool feeling making you gasp more.

“Let’s see just how many more we can get from you, baby” Steve growled into your neck, sucking the sensitive skin.

“Yes, Daddy”, you moaned whilst lost in your ecstasy.

Steve and Bucky worked well together, knowing exactly when to slow down their movements, letting you get used to the sensations before ramping up the speed and pressures, bringing you to the peak of orgasm before starting again. They took it in turns until your breasts were sore and puffy and your hole ached and your juices soaked the sheets below.

You were a mumbling mess when they determined that you had enough, your entire body feeling like it was floating and light as Steve licked his fingers clean one more time before tucking you in close to his side.

“You feeling ok, Doll?” Bucky asked, sliding in close as well, his arm wrapping around your middle.

“Mmm so so good”, you muttered, eyes drooping close with exhaustion. “I can’t wait to take these casts off so I can repay the favour”.

Steve’s checked vibrated against your ear as he chuckled, kissing the top of your head, “Get some rest, my love”.

#stucky smut #stucky x reader #mafia au #mafia steve rogers #mafia bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky x reader #bucky #bucky barnes #steve rogers #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x reader #marvel smut #mine*

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jaykaysthicthighs · 2 months

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The Path Of A Singer | JJK

excerpt | the appearance of your old lover pops up on tv, and the horrible memories showed itself once again.

genre | heavy angst, cheating, abuse, minor fluff

rating | 18+

warnings | strong language, present & past, toxic relationship, mental & physical abuse, jk cheating, panic attack, alcohol and drug consumption, lots of crying, heartbreaking conversations, jk being vile, lots of yelling, jk manhandles the reader, mention of abusive father, mention of ptsd, reader being selfless (you might not agree with the decisions she's made, but don't hate her; she's a broken person), maybe more

wc | 4K+ (very short)

notes | it's been a hell of a long time since i wrote and posted anything....!!!

my inspiration came from watching the movie insidious: the red door lol. the reason for the mature rating is because of the strong language, the heavy conversations said, and the talks of alcohol and drugs. i want to say that i'm not romanticizing this type of relationship or the behaviors of the characters, i'm just making a story that maybe some people might have gone through. sometimes the decisions made or thought of does not make you a bad/horrible person. everyone had a reason good or bad; you just have try to be understanding. i also tried to make this as heartbreaking as possible, but for some reason i feel like it's not. hopefully it does pull some heartstrings for you guys.

You finally arrived home after an exhausting day of work. Your roommate wasn't home yet, so, luckily for you, you're able to binge eat without the concerned eyes of your friend watching you.

You walked your way to the kitchen and made yourself some sandwiches, you also grabbed some water on the way to the living room. When you made it to the couch, you plopped down heavily. You grabbed the remote and started scrolling through the channels. You came across a channel that was showing a music festival, and without thinking about who might be performing you clicked on it.

The first performer was a group called XG. As they were performing, you happily ate while vibing to their songs. At one point, you started singing as well, not caring that you still had some food in your mouth. If the neighbors were able to hear you, they would probably think someone is dying - yelling for help.

When you finished, you got up put away your dishes, and made your way to your room to change your clothes. As you were changing, you felt a bit lonely. You and your friend don't have any pets, no companion to keep any of you guys company. You exited your room with a simple sweater and shorts.

You made it back to the living room with a content expression on your face, unfortunately, it wouldn't last long. As you were about to get yourself situated on the couch, you looked at the TV screen, and the one person you never wanted to see again was singing.

You fell to your knees with a hard thud, watching the screen with horrid eyes. It's been three years since you saw him. In those three years, you tried your damned hardest to avoid anything and everything that involved him in it. The pain he caused you still resides in your little heart.

You didn't realize but you started crying; the tears rapidly falling. Your body started shaking; the little goosebumps displaying your skin. Your chest felt heavy like a huge wave crashing on you, and the water is rising up into your nose, making it hard for you to breathe. You felt like you were suffocating, and the lack of air was making your head light; dizziness taking its place.

On the outside, you were frozen, but on the inside, you were trying to claw your way out. You felt like you were scratching every surface of your body, but you weren't moving an inch. Your brain was screaming for help, but the only thing leaving your mouth was the hardness and unstableness of your breathing. Right now, you were wishing for your friend to come home right now and save you.

Three Years Ago

You were in your car driving your way to your boyfriend. Jungkook's manager called you demanding that you come and pick him up. You don't really know what happened, but from how his manager sounded, you were thinking that he got himself drunk and high again, causing thoughtless actions.

Not too long ago, Jungkook was able to get into his dream record label. After years and years of hard work, passion, and dedication he was able to pursue his dream. What you didn't realize is that with Jungkook getting to follow his dream of being a singer, he would soon lose his sense of self. In just two weeks he was starting to drink, and in another week, he started experimenting with drugs.

As time went on, so did your patience. You would try and try to stop him - to help him, but every time Jungkook would stop your advances. Pushing you away and causing you pain made Jungkook feel superior, it made him feel proud that he reached a certain height in life.

Your guy's relationship now consists of yelling and crying. Jungkook started to mentally abuse you, but even so, you would accept it. You didn't have the strength to leave him - to leave the man you love since middle school. You couldn't leave the man who would write songs about you, the man who would wake up during dawn and make you a big breakfast, the man who would call you no matter the time, the man who would always tell you how much he loves you every second of the day. You didn't have the strength to leave him.

With all your anger, you finally made it to the studio in one piece. When you entered the building, the looks on the staff's faces were concerning you. One of the staff went up to you and told you to not go inside the studio. You looked at them judgingly and pushed your way through them, but they still tried to stop you.

"What is the problem? Let me through!" you yelled. They gave you a sad look and apologized, "I'm sorry ma'am, but Jungkook is very busy, and I don't think it's a good idea for you to go inside there." Your anger was boiling, steam coming out of your ears. "Sorry for yelling at you, but I don't fucking care if he is busy. Jonny called me saying that I need to pick this asshole up, okay? If you're worried about me finding out that he is high or drunk - even both, don't. This is not new to me."

The staff in front of you looked like she was on the verge of tears. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she got the chance, a disheveled woman left the room your boyfriend was in. You watched her with wide eyes as she left the building with a smile on her face. You stomped your way to the studio door ignoring the pleas from the staff. You pushed open the door causing a loud bang, startling the man recognized as Jonny.

Jonny swiftly got up and the first thing you noticed was the bloody nose. You walked your way to him digging in your bag grabbing some tissues for his nose. Gently placing it on him, you politely demanded, "Where is he, Jonny?" The man before you faced his eyes on the floor. "Jonny, you called me here, so, don't fucking hide anything from me. Where is he?"

The man took a step back letting the blood freely fall again. He shook his head, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you. I've ruined everything." You gritted your teeth and threw the bloody tissue at his face. "Where the hell is he, Jonny?" you yelled.

A second later, Jungkook swung the bathroom door open with nothing but some sweats on. Your heart dropped from his appearance. It was evident that he had fucked the girl from earlier. You guys made eye contact, and you could tell immediately that he was high out of his mind. "Get out, Jonny," you said without looking.

When you heard the door shut, that's when you crumbled. Your eyes started blurring with the tears that were coming. Your body shaking with rage. You walked up to the fucked-up man and slapped him. "Why? Why? Why the hell would you do this to me?"

Jungkook harshly grabbed your wrists and laughed. He laughed like what you had said was something funny. You can smell the horrible alcohol leaving his mouth as he laughed. "Because it's fun, babe."

The pain rippled throughout your body. You snatched your wrists away and bellowed, "You're hurting me! You're destroying me! What does she have that I don't? I thought you loved me?" Jungkook towered over you; he grinned, "I don't love you." Your whole world died. Never had Jungkook spouted those words. It tore you limb from limb, slowly but surely. And that was all it took for you to call it done.

You were fine dealing with his hurtful ways. You were fine being the punching bag. But you were not fine being cheated on. Even with Jungkook in this fucked-up state, not once had he said that he didn't love you, and not once did he ever cheat on you. You felt lower than before, and you didn't want to feel like that. You knew that the moment he started doing drugs and drinking alcohol, the man you once knew would be gone. Still, you had hoped there might be a tiny sliver of him inside, but today proved - his words proved you wrong.

Your eyes hardened and your expression became stoic. Without trying to sound broken you seethed, "We are done! You fucking hear me? I am done with your shit - with everything!" As you walked your way to the door, Jungkook rushed in front of you and pushed you to the ground.

The wind got knocked out of you; you started bawling your eyes. For the first time, you were scared of the man before you. Jungkook locked the door behind him and dragged you by your feet. You tried kicking your feet, hoping that his release would loosen, and you could run away. But before you knew it, Jungkook locked you both into the soundproof booth.

When his grip on you was gone, you scurried to the corner of the booth shielding yourself with your bag. Jungkook walked to you and kneeled to your level. "Don't hide from me, baby." He gently grabbed your bag and tossed it to the other side of the booth. You closed your eyes; you couldn't see the monster of the man you love.

You felt Jungkook tenderly cupping your jaw. You trembled beneath his fingertips; quietly whimpering. It stayed like this for a few seconds until you felt his touch disappear. With your eyes still closed, you could hear Jungkook digging for something. You heard a rustling sound of a Ziplock bag. You knew better, you knew that he was using drugs right now.

"Open your eyes, ____," Jungkook demanded.

You didn't answer, you didn't move. This pissed off the man in front of you. He slapped you, making your body jolt, making your eyes open. You brought your hand to your cheek, tears threatening to fall. "See, it wasn't that hard?"

"W-what do you want... from me?" you stammered.

Jungkook seethed, "You can't leave me. I won't let you leave me. You owe me. All that money I spent on you, all those years I wasted on you - I want that back! And the only way you can pay me back is by being my bitch. You are fucking mine, ____!"

You finally let the tears fall again. Your whole body shook like lightning shooting throughout you. Shaking your head, you wailed, "No! No! No! Please! Don't do this to me, Dad! Stop hurting me!" For the first time today, Jungkook felt his senses come back. Your words panged his heart.

Your mother was never in your life. It was always you and your father, but your father was an abusive man. He would try to find any little thing to blame you for, just for him to lay his hands on you; from hitting, kicking, even to cutting. You had met Jungkook when you were thirteen years old, he comforted, protected, and helped you. When you finally turned eighteen, that's when you moved in with him - that's when you finally felt peace.

Jungkook cupped your face into place. He frantically said, "____, it's me. Your dad's not here. It's me, Jungkook." His touch burned you; you felt like dying. You mustered all your strength and pushed him away. You gripped your shirt and yelled, "No! You're not him! You're not Jungkook! You're a monster and I don't even recognize you!"

Monster... That simple word rang in Jungkook's mind. Monster... Such a terrifying word. If he was a monster, his reason would be because of you. Unfortunately, all the drugs and alcohol in his system weren't enough to keep him sane for one minute. Jungkook launched at you. His hands wrapped around your throat, choking you, but still letting you breathe.

You started clawing your nails on his bare arms. Digging deep that blood starts making its presence. But all that Jungkook could see right now was red. He couldn't feel the pain you were giving him; he couldn't hear the agony in your voice; he couldn't see your wrecked state. Red became his friend.

"You are the reason for my horrible being. You are the reason why I'm a monster. You bitch! If you hadn't kept pushing me to pursue this fucking career, I would've still been the same. If you hadn't been so loving and caring and supportive, we wouldn't be in this predicament. I can't believe that I fell in love with a disgusting person like you. I can't fucking believe that I let you take control of my whole being!"

Right when you were on the verge of passing out, Jungkook released his hold on you; he backed himself on the other side of the booth. You were catching your breath. Your hands shakingly touched your neck, throbbing against your frail fingers. You were painfully coughing; mentally asking God to help ease your pain. Your eyes went in and out of vision; red and black dots were the only thing in sight.

Jungkook watched you with dark eyes. He watched as you were struggling to regain your previous state. He watched as you were crying from the pain, he inflicted on you. He watched the one person who was always with him, the one person who loved and cared for him no longer be the same. He killed you, painfully and slowly.

Present

"____, look at me. It's okay. It's okay." Your friend Lia gently held your face in place. She called out your name, praying that you would settle. She watched as you were frantically breathing; your eyes looking everywhere but her; your body shaking like the room was freezing.

Your panic attacks rarely happen, but when they do, Lia feels so useless. She wished that she could help ease your pain, she wished that she had the power to prevent this. But all she could do was hold you and tell you that you're okay.

Minutes go by until you are finally back. "____?" Lia cautioned, "____, look at me. Are you okay?" As you looked at Lia, you could see the worried expression painting her beautiful face. You hated yourself for making her feel like this, but you couldn't help it. This feeling will never go away; it gets buried six feet under, but once he appears they come back.

"Lia," you whispered, "I saw him again... on TV." Lia took a deep sigh; she hated the pain he caused you before and now. She wrapped you in her arms, holding you with such care. The second you were in her arms, you broke. You cried and cried, loudly speaking your pain.

Lia felt her shirt dampen, but she didn't care. Whatever you do to her, she will take it all in, as long as you feel better in the end, Lia will gladly be your tissue, your enemy, your punching bag. Lia murmured against your hair, "I'm here. I will always be here." She held you tighter; she didn't want you to fade away from her.

You took deep breaths to calm down your nerves. You pulled away from Lia and made your way to the couch. You brought your knees up and buried your face in the space between. You hissed, "I hate what he does to me. He's not even here!" This time you whispered, "And yet, he's able to bring me down to my knees... scared."

Lia met you three years ago; months after your event. You were just a newly hired TA. When Lia first saw you, you looked like a girl who was barely keeping her life together. You told her beforehand - when you started room mating with her, that you have PTSD and that your panic attacks happen from time to time. You didn't really tell her the whole story, just that you were in a very abusive relationship and that you experienced something so terrifying. She accepted you with an open mind and open arms; from then on, Lia became your rock.

Lia got up and sat right next to you. She wanted to ask you a question, but she was scared that you would hate her or push her away for asking. But this question has been in her mind for a while now. After taking a few seconds thinking to think it through, Lia wiped her sweating palms on her pants and inquired, "____, if you don't mind me asking... why didn't you call the police on him? You should've, 'cause I don't think he should be performing after everything he's done to you."

Your eyes started getting blurry; you told yourself the exact same thing, but there was a reason. With your head still buried, you softly replied, "It's easier said than done, Lia. I wished I called the police on him - I wish I could call the police on him, but I can't. Because in simple words... I love him. I hate myself for loving him. Even after everything he has done to me, and everything he has said to me, I love him. Does that make me a horrible person?"

Lia felt herself invisibly jumping out of the couch. No way does she think you're a horrible person. You're just a person who's been through something horribly traumatic. Her heart was filled with so much pain for you. Lia positioned herself so she was facing your small figure, and expressed, "____, no way in hell are you a horrible person. Far from it! I won't be able to say that I relate or know what you're going through, because I don't. But I am able to say that I'll support you and understand your feelings and decisions."

You lifted your head but still kept your eyes on your knees; you muttered, "I met him when we were thirteen years old. He was a very shy and reserved kid - hated social interactions. I remember..." you quietly giggled without realizing when you were remembering the fond memories, "I remember when he used to make small mixtapes every anniversary with letters. He wasn't always a horrible person. He used to be kind, supportive, and loving. One of my favorite things about him was his selflessness towards me. I loved that he would always think about my needs, what I wanted, what I was thinking, and how I was feeling, but in turn, he did the opposite for himself. It was a blessing and a curse."

Lia looked at you and saw the small smile showing. This look was rare for you, and every time it made its appearance, Lia would always treasure it. "He must have been a great person for you to smile like that." You furrowed your brows; you turned to Lia with confusion. "What smile?" you questioned. Lia rolled her eyes, "Well, there's no smile anymore."

You took a deep sigh and apologized, "I'm sorry for talking about him. It's just - just talking about him in this light makes me happy and warm... even if it only lasts for a few seconds." Lia noticed that you started tearing up. Your face was slightly contorted with pain; you were trying not to cry, holding it in but it didn't work. Your tears were freely falling, and Lia comforted you once again. You quietly whimpered, "During that time I called him a monster, but really, I don't want to remember him as the monster in my life because at one point he used to be my prince who saved me from one. I try to think and talk about him in this beautiful light that he used to be under - I want to remember him as that, but the pain he brought upon me is too hard to ignore." You started wailing at this point, "It continues to haunt me, and I hate it! I want to hate him, but I can't! I can't!"

Lia felt herself crying for your pain. She felt herself slowly dying by your words. It truly kills her that her most precious and beautiful friend is going through so much pain. As you both cried into each other's arms, you could hear Lia continuously apologize through her cries. You were so grateful to have such an amazing person as her.

Once you were calmed down, you pulled away from the still tearful woman and wiped her tears away. "Don't cry anymore, Lia." you sniffled, "What happened to me - what's still happening to me would never be fully cured, but I know that whatever happens next, you'll be by my side, and slowly but surely, I won't be able to be to feel the pain anymore. Okay?" Lia nodded her head with a soft smile. You're right, as long as she's with you and as long as you are with her everything will be fine. You guys are each other's glue - each other's person.

There is no doubt in your mind that this pain will pass by. You don't know how long that will take, but until the day comes, having Lia with you eases your heart from pain as much as possible.

"You mailed her my letter?"

"Yes, Jungkook."

The tired man finished his show with a bang, and even though people enjoyed his performance, Jungkook couldn't seem to feel all that happy. For the past year since he finished his rehab, nothing has felt more depressing.

The morning of that night when he woke up, Jonny had told him that you had left, and he was to go to rehab immediately. He hated you for leaving, he hated that you left him in such a messy state. Jungkook blamed everything on you. Jonny had told the ill man that if it wasn't for you, everything that he had worked so hard on would go down the drain. At first, Jungkook didn't understand why you left or what Jonny was saying, but as time went on, he knew that everything was his fault. His addictions and his abusive behavior were all his fault. The reason for your disappearance was his fault. Your pain - everything was all him.

Jungkook knows that there will be no way for him to fix the things he has done and the things he had said, but even so, he would try his damn hardest to fix it. When he finished rehab, Jungkook made it a mission to send you a letter every week, telling you about his days throughout the week, how much he loves and cares for you, telling you how much he is so regretful. Deep down he knows that he is being selfish, he knows that he should let you go - let you move on, but the helpless man is stuck in the past. The past is what keeps him alive. The past is his only source of reason. Jungkook doesn't want to let go of that one thing he has left of you.

Jonny felt so much pity for the man, he didn't have the heart to tell him that he didn't know your address. He would accept the letters, promising that he would mail them, but when night rolls around your letters would be burned. Jonny wanted to quit being Jungkook's manager, but you begged and begged for him to stay with the broken singer. You wanted Jungkook to at least have one person for him to lean on when things get hard. Jonny admires your strength - how strong of a woman you are, so, he agreed.

"You should just stop already, Jungkook. She's never gonna mail you back. I know your reason, but you lost her, and you can never fix that." Jonny was getting tired; tired of seeing the broken singer trying with no prevail.

Jungkook walked up to his manager and lowly whispered, "You think I don't know that, Jonny? Ever since I learned that everything is my fault... I knew that she would never come back to me. Yet I still hope - even if that hope is microscopic or nonexistent, I hope that I will be able to see or be with her again."

The fatigued man took a few steps back and lowered his heavy head down. His eyes searched the floor trying to keep his tears at bay, but it didn't work. The salty tears of this poor singer escaped and landed harshly on the wooden floor. Sniffling, the fatigued man uttered, "You think I don't know that you burn my letters?" Jungkook lifted his head up and saw the ashamed manager looking back at him.

He continued, "You're not as discreet as you think you are, Jonny. I went to your hotel room to ask for a favor... and I saw you burn my eighth letter with sadness swimming in your eyes. I connected the dots from there, and I realized that you never sent any of my letters because you don't know her address, huh? You're left in the dark like I am, huh? You know nothing about her whereabouts, about how she's doing, about anything, huh, Jonny!" The manager kept quiet; didn't know what to say.

Jungkook slumped down on the nearest chair with a hard thump. He leaned his head back with closed eyes and softly whimpered, "I now understand the meaning ‘You reap what you sow’… I'm never gonna stop. I know I can never fix this, but I promise you Jonny, I will never stop. Ten years - fifty years from now, I will keep writing her letters... knowing that deep down all of this is for nothing. I don't care if I'm shaming myself by doing this - I don't care about anything but her. She's not mine anymore but I'm forever hers. Let me live like this. Let me live with the consequences. Let me drown myself in this regret."

The destroyed man opened his eyes and gently moved his head to the side to see the lone figure of his manager feet away. With a deep sigh, Jungkook claimed, "You're just my manager, right? So, don't involve yourself in my pitiful life. Just do the job you were hired to do, along with getting my letters. Don't care what you do to them - burn them, keep them hidden, rip them up... doesn't matter, just don't let me know about it; let me falsely believe that you mailed them to her. Alright? Now please get the car... I wanna go home."

217 notes · View notes

n30nwrites · 26 days

Text

Shake (Shifter! TF141 x Male! Reader)

Chapter 5

Good Doggy Masterlist

Warnings - Being Drunk, Lighting a fire, Glitter

Beta Reader: @letmelickyoureyeballs i appreciate you so much.

You walked Soap and Gaz to his house, convinced that he would follow you into yours if you didn't. You were greeted by Ghost. He opened the door on your first step onto the porch. "Get in." He tells both Soap and Gaz. "Price needs to talk to you." He looks at Gaz specifically.

"Tell your Alpha to control his pack." You say, "I've been with Soap for 6 hours."

"Tell him yourself."

You nodded, still looking at his mask. You didn't like looking at his eyes, it made your body feel strange. Ghost could be considered attractive, build-wise. He was wearing a black tank top and sweatpants. He had a multitude of scars covering his body, and a large burn covering the left side. His chest was large, distractingly so.

“Why do you have glitter on you?”

"...," You look down at your chest, it was a strange thing, to glow again. Or more like shimmer, but it did remind you of your old self, just a smidge. "Bye."

So why did you have glitter?

It was near the end of your shift, you had done your side work, cutting up the fruits needed and stocking everything. The club was slowing down, people still being here was a slight surprise, but you guessed it was just that type of town.

Sad drunks, desperate for something, an adventure.

Soap was still with you, which you were surprised about. You thought he would leave a few hours ago, but he just sat in the corner, staring at you.

It was creepy.

"Bartender, another Whiskey Sour!" She's pretty, she has stars drawn on her face along with small hearts, bold makeup, and a small dress. Body glitter everywhere, which made you recall when Maya thought to do that one night.

Since that night, glitter has been banned from your house.

"The bar has been closed down Ma'am." You tell her, making her water. She seemed out of it, enough for you to look around for someone, a friend that could've brought her here. "Drink this."

She drinks it quickly, like it's a shot almost. "Give me another." She coos, "tastes so good."

"Where are your friends?"

"They left." She moaned, "I love this song."

No music was playing.

"We're closing. It's time for you to get an Uber."

"I'll walk." She slurs her words, confident in herself as she chugs down another water. "You're much cuter than the other bartender."

You rub the bridge of your nose, adjusting the sunglasses you had on your face slightly. You felt sad for the pretty girl, her name could be Amanda or Mila.

Really you were just pulling these names out of your ass from actresses you can remember.

She stumbles a bit. Her purse slips off her shoulder and crashes to the floor. She doesn't even seem to register it, nor does she seem to be there herself.

You clock out, and go around the counter. Soap seems to notice as he follows behind. You pick up the purse and she looks up, her eyes unfocused. You grab her wallet and find her license. "Alright Sierra, you seem to live around here so let's get you home.”

“You sure you’re not gonna kidnap me?” She leans on you, stumbling to the side and you grab her. All you can think about is that this glitter is going to stay forever.

“Not the plan.” Soap seems to glare at this girl, “Pull up the directions for her house.” You hand him the ID, watching as he gets on his phone reluctantly.

“She’s 5 minutes fae 'ere” He says, tucking his phone back in his pocket before grabbing her purse and putting her ID in. “Are we taking your car or mine?”

“You’re joining me?” You ask, not surprised at the idea, just surprised he had the balls to ask.

“Of course, gotta make sure you’re safe.”

“Protective doggy…” You tease slightly, “I was just gonna carry her, I don’t have a car.” Soap gives you a confused look, he could’ve sworn you were at the driver side of a Jeep when you first arrived, he didn’t fully understand it but he knew that if he had asked, you wouldn’t have given him the truth.

“Put her in the back.”

You realize you had to make a decision, and you were tired so that decision wasn’t the brightest one.

Which is probably why you were most comfortable standing naked outside in your backyard, with all your clothes in a barrel that was on fire. You were staring at it, the embers reminded you of home, but it wasn’t warm enough. The fire was inviting in a way, but if you kept staring you knew that your father would attempt to contact you, and you didn’t want to deal with that right now. So you turned away and grabbed the hose, turning on the cold water and rinsing yourself off, scrubbing with an unused cleaning sponge as your skin turned a darker shade from how hard you were scrubbing.

Anything to not bring glitter into the house.

Good thing the back door was unlocked.

—

You woke up at 1 p.m. still naked from the morning. You didn’t have an alarm clock, just trusted yourself to wake up before your shift. You shuffle out and grab some boxers from the floor, pulling them up and washing your face before brushing your teeth.

It was your breakfast time.

Walking out of your bedroom, your dog greets you. He laid right outside your door, the only reason he wasn’t in your bedroom that night was because he was lying with Maya and you didn’t want to wake her up.

He stood up immediately and you bent down to pet her, she smiled, which some have described as a murderous smile but that’s just cause shes all fangs. You stand back up and she follows after.

You can hear noises in the living room, voices that make you wary until you hear Maya’s. You trust she can handle herself. She was top of her class after all.

That is until you see who’s in your living room.

“Well, I could’ve put more clothes on.”

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honeybleed · 9 months

Text

resolve ⋆ jean kirstein

content & warnings: female reader, she/her pronouns, black-coded reader, modern au, injuries (reader busts her ass in da shower), break up & reconciliation. too lazy for smut but suggestive here and dere

author’s note: jean kinda hotheaded and mean here soz but tagging my fellow comrades @potofstewie @angelktski @junevenile @chrollohearttags in the great Horse Face War of 1853 😼❤️ @digitalreblogs an eren connie girlie but she gets a tag 😹💓

word count: 2.7k

The two of you entered the apartment in absolute silence. So much so, you could hear a pin drop. The car journey home wasn't any better.

"I'll be on my way." Jean said, coldly as he stood in the doorway. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"The least you could do is look at me, Jean." You said, voice faltering. You tried to pull him inside but he stood frigid. Unmoving.

"Why? So I can remember the face of my girlfriend who had no issue leaving my side to flirt with her ex all night?" He said, through gritted teeth, the vein in his forehead pulsing.

"I'm sorry, I really am but I wasn't unfaithful to you, I didn't do anything inappropriate with him. Please understand that.." You pleaded, on the verge of tears as you desperately tugged his arm.

"Keep provoking me and you're going to make me unleash the ugly side you really won't like." He hissed.

He looked down at you, as he notice your lip quiver slightly and tears gloss over your eyes.

The last thing he ever would want is to make you cry. He felt like crap but you hurt him, immensely.

He yanked his arm away from your grip and turned away to let out an irritated sigh.

"Just...give me some space. I need time." He said as he ran his fingers through his hair, frustratedly.

"Don't leave me, please..." You babbled, tears streaming down your face. "It's just a misunderstanding, it's all-"

Door slam.

"Please…"

You had to adjust to single life again.

“I lived alone before Jean, and I’m sure I can live alone after." You thought to yourself as you absentmindedly gazed out the window, reminiscing on the events of the past few days.

You had left your purse at home and realised halfway through your shift. So you headed back during your break while co-worker took over your shift.

Your gait began to slow down as you approached the street of your apartment. Your brows furrowed when you saw a few boxes on the pavement and Connie stood by Jean’s car.

Connie called out your name in surprise as his eyes widened. "I thought you were at work?" He stuttered, his voice getting high-pitched with an uneasy laugh.

"...I’m on break, I left something at home." You responded, narrowing your eyes suspiciously. "What are you doing here?"

Connie took a nervous glance at the entrance of the building, as Jean walked out carrying a large box, with a few shoeboxes piled up.

As soon as you and Jean made eye contact, you froze. Feeling your heart hammer in your chest.

He let out a sigh and made his way over to put the boxes in the trunk of the car as you stared in complete and utter disbelief.

"You...were going to just leave while I was gone?" You stuttered, in shock.

"I told you Y/N, we're on a break. Don’t act so surprised." He said haughtily, as he slammed the trunk shut.

"You sure as hell didn't tell me you were moving out!" You exclaimed.

"Don’t make a scene. I’m just crashing at Connie’s for a few days."

And with that, he walked away and got in the passenger seat. Connie pulled an apologetic face and followed suit.

Nothing felt worth it anymore.

You had gotten in full glam and had went clubbing with your friends but all you could think of was Jean.

Any song that came on, reminded you of when he would pull you against him on the dance floor and kiss like nobody was watching.

How he would shamelessly touch you up during a number and it would get you so hot and bothered that you'd rush into the backseat of his car for an impromptu make out session which then lead onto other things.

How he never drank because he always wanted to be the responsible one no matter what.

The car journeys home he would always stop at a gas station and let you pick any snacks you wanted.

You let out a sigh as you felt the all too familiar lump in your throat and chest beginning to tighten.

"I am always fucking crying..!" You thundered to yourself, punching the side of the bathroom stall.

After you recollected yourself after that little moment, you leaned your head against the window on the cab drive home.

"I think you shouldn't invite me out again." You had told your friend in the backseat.

"Babe, I don't want you at home sulking every evening..!" She slurred as she threw her arms around you.

She was a clingy drunk whereas you were an emotional drunk.

"I don't sulk.." You tittered.

There were a few knocks on the door.

"God who is at the door at this time?! It's almost 11...!" You cried out, wincing in pain.

Instantly regretting the idea of showering before bed because you were so uncoordinated and clumsy, you slipped and crashed everything all the products pelted onto you and made sounds almost similar to thunder.

You mustered the last of your strength to pull yourself up to switch off the faucet but it was no use.

You were stuck in that position, because all movements hurt like a bitch.

"Y/N? You home? I texted you and I'm not getting any response!" Jean called out. He thumped on the door again.

He let out a frustrated sigh at the silence and hung his head. He then placed his ear on the door and could hear a pattering of water.

"Fuck it." He muttered.

Jean had thrown himself into work following your break, it ate him up inside as much as it did you, but the last thing he wanted to do was throw out mixed signals.

If he was the one who wanted a break, he had to adhere to giving you space.

"Look, I'm coming in okay? I just need to get some files I left there."

He reluctantly took the spare key from underneath the plant pot.

"I told her about this." He muttered under his breath as he entered the apartment.

"WHO IS THERE?!" He heard a voice cry out from the bathroom.

"Y/N, it's me, Jean! Maybe you would know if you actually picked up your phone!"

"Help me, please!"

His eyes widened in alarm at the sound of your voice. He rushed over but paused.

"What’s wrong?! Can I come in?" He exclaimed, frantically.

"I’m naked, but yes.." You groaned.

He pushed the door open and saw you slouched in the corner of the tub, shower head still running as your shoulder was at an unnatural angle.

"Did you slip?" He asked voice panicked, eyes still wide in fear as he crouched beside the tub.

"Yes...it hurts to move.." You sniffled.

"Okay, just wait a second. I'll get you a towel." He said, firmly to compose himself as he turned off the faucet.

As he leaned over to slowly assist you out of the tub, he frowned.

"Have you been drinking?!" He hissed as he caught a whiff of the strong spirits you'd downed earlier.

"Yeah.." You said, meekly. Not finding any point in lying or defending yourself.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed? Do you know how irresponsible you have to be to fucking shower? You should've slept it off!" He ranted as he settled you on the closed toilet seat.

"I'm sorry okay? It's just that everybody else was drunk too so..I didn't have...you.." You trailed off.

He glared at you and patted you dry with the towel.

"That's not an excuse and you know it. You're an adult, so act like one."

You giggled.

"I never told you how adorable you are when you get into Mom mode and nag me, did I?"

"Whatever." He huffed. "What clothes do you want? I'll dress you before I call the paramedics."

"Just your college sweatshirt and shorts."

He pursed his lips as he held them in his hands. He had to not try to think too much of it, but it was difficult.

After he dried you and dressed you, he gently picked you up, trying his hardest not to cause you any pain. He placed you onto the couch this time.

"They're coming soon, okay?" He said after he hung up, arms folded. "Just sit tight."

Panic morphed into irritation.

He looked around at the state of your apartment, glancing at the golden slip dress and heels you had thrown on the floor.

"I would've tidied up, if I knew you were coming." You muttered, sheepishly.

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't need to." You immediately hissed in pain when you accidentally tried to turn away.

"Careful.." He warned.

"Why are you here anyways?" You questioned.

"I told you, I left some files here. That's all. And speaking of which, the number of things that have pissed me off since I came back here...why do you have your spare key in the most obvious area? Any murderer or creep could've broken in here!"

"Okay, I'm sorry!" You sighed, struggling to meet his eye.

"I don't think you get it. I'm not here anymore Y/N. There isn't anybody for you to depend upon so you need to start taking care of yourself! Maybe I took the lead a bit too much in our relationship because it seems like you're struggling with day-to-day life!"

"Since when do you fucking care?" You seethed.

"I do care about you, for Christ's sake. You think just because we break up I want god-awful things to happen to you?! Real mature Y/N."

"If you cared, you would've tried to fix things with me instead of trying to sneak away like a COWARD!"

"What the hell is there to repair when you are in love with your EX!" He bellowed, and a heavy silence fell over the two at his accusation.

Your argument was put to an end when there was a knock at your front door.

“I guess that’ll be them.” You said, lowly.

“…Yeah.” He responded, then made his way to open the door.

"Well...the good news is it's just a mild sprain." The nurse said with a gentle smile. "A few days of rest, compressing and ice and it’ll be fine.”

“That’s a relief.” He said to the nurse, with a grin. He’d been sneaking glances at you but hadn’t said a word.

"I don't love him." You finally spoke, after the nurse left the bay to fetch a compression bandage.

"Huh?"

"I don't love him. And I wanted to be extra careful with you. I wanted it to go smoothly, just saying I love you is a very heavy thing and I don't wanna throw it around just because we're fighting."

"It's fine." He sighed.

“It’s not, Jean. I just…I didn’t see him in a while.”

“Y/N..just leave it. Don’t apologise, I’m just..an idiot sometimes. You’ve never given me a reason not to trust you.”

“…Jean.”

He took a step closer to cup the side of your face, brushing his thumb against your cheek.

“I think…you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And you’ll leave me.”

You wanted to tell him it was silly. But for some reason, your tongue felt heavy.

You suddenly heard the curtain yank and Jean backed away.

“Am I interrupting something?” The nurse said with a giggle. “Good news, you lovebirds can be on your way. But Missy here has to take a week off to recover. I take it you’ll be her guardian, Mr. Boyfriend?”

You were about to speak, and say you’d probably have to call a family member or something but Jean beat you to the punch.

“That’s fine by me. Come on, honey. Let’s get you home.” He said, with a smile.

“…Jean?” You questioned as he tucked you into bed when you reached your apartment after you were discharged.

“Mhm?”

“Why…? I thought…we broke up..” You said, a little awkwardly.

“Look, I know you. And the last thing you want is to move back to your family’s home for the week. So just let me handle this.”

“Okay.” You said, not arguing.

“Night.” He said, switching off the light in your room, and shutting the door behind him to sleep on the couch.

The next few days, Jean became your new guardian while you recovered.

"You sure you haven't got work?" You questioned as he dashed around the kitchen, cooking lunch.

"I can work from home." He scoffed. "I never took off-days so they trust me. Nobody even knows we broke up apart from our friends."

It was only a week. A week with no affection or intimacy, yet somehow the days of the man being your caretaker, helping you get better was better than your last days of being boyfriend and girlfriend.

You forgot how much he could make you laugh. And not the coy giggles when you looked up at him through your lashes with a come-hither look.

It was an ugly snort, and belly and sides aching type of laughter.

It was torturous too. After the sprain, the nurse said every few hours you had to put an icepack on your shoulder.

When you sat on the edge of your bed with Jean sat behind you, your top off just to provide ease of access for him to press it there for about fifteen to twenty minutes, your brain was not helping.

Your imagination ran wild, and you pictured the most obscene images with him from your past.

You wondered to yourself if he felt the same way. Perhaps, because every instance with the icepack he pursed his lips and didn’t say a word.

He was holding back.

You had a final check-up to see if everything was fine and if you healed okay, which thankfully you were.

“How’s Connie?” You questioned as the two of you walked upstairs.

“Honestly, I forgot how much of a slob he is at times. Drives me nuts.” He chuckled as he shook his head. “But it reminds me of college, which is fun.”

He stood outside the door, hesitant.

“Jean, stop being ridiculous. You’ve been here all week, what gives? Or are you a vampire and I have to invite you in again?”

“No, it’s just..”

“Don’t let me go again.” You heard a voice in your head whisper. “Don’t make me be the one to beg.”

You hoped the way you watched him as he struggled to say something conveyed that.

“I’m sorry…” He said, shakily.

“Stop apologising…please…” You responded, still gazing at him.

His light brown eyes, reminiscent of amber flitted from your own eyes, then down to your lips and back to your eyes again.

“Can I kiss you?” He murmured, voice low which caused a coil to begin to form in your stomach and your thighs to press together.

Jean Kirstein drove you insane.

“Yes…” You replied, voice hoarse. It felt like years as he edged closer to lean in but his lips finally touched yours, very gently and softly. As if you would shatter if he was too strong.

His large hands cupped the side of your face to move against you, swiping his tongue across the seam of your lips.

The sudden intrusion caused you to shudder and jolt closer to him, which he took full advantage of, pulling you flush against his body.

Jean is very vocal, there were times when you begged him to quiet down but the man couldn’t help himself, especially when he had you all to himself.

You felt silly, but the lewd noises of lips smacking and his breathy moans as his hands roamed across your waist made you needier for him.

That is, until you got the shock of your life when your neighbour from across your apartment’s door swung open and you immediately squealed, pushing Jean off.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” You rambled, cheeks heating up in humiliation as they backed into their apartment and slammed the door.

You started in bewilderment at what had just taken place, then you turned to meet his eyes. And you both fell into a fit of laughter at the surreality of it all.

He nudged his forehead against your own, his breathing shallow from the heated kiss.

“Let me show you how much I missed you.” He said, framing the sides of your face.

“Indoors, I hope.” You giggled.

author’s note: i kinda made the reader a bird and a pushover but i can’t help myself sawry im halle bailey level bird when it comes to jean😹

enjoyed this? check out my masterlist !!

#aot x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot x black!reader #aot x black reader #aot smut #aot angst #aot fic #snk x reader #snk x you #snk x y/n #⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ nara scribbles

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leclsrc · 1 year

Note

CONGRATS ON 2K!!!i have a request for carlos- Resting their head on their partner's shoulder. Maybe they're tired, they need comfort for some reason, or they're just craving closeness to someone.

i knew you – cs55

genre: fluff...., 2k celebration, title from this

resting their head on their partner's shoulder. Maybe they're tired, they need comfort for some reason, or they're just craving closeness to someone.

Carlos has been singing slurred lyrics of a Luis Miguel song for the past ten minutes.

You should’ve expected this—it’s the effect of him getting a few too many cocktails into his system. You’d spotted him at the bar with Zhou taste-testing a few glasses that quickly evolved into several shots, and the rest is history. No, the rest is a Luis Miguel song, actually.

His head’s been on your bare shoulder the whole time, voice occasionally thinning out into a whisper, signaling he’s getting sleepy. Then he starts all over again with renewed vigor, words leaving him in passionate Spanish. And it wasn’t for lack of trying, in your defense—many attempts to push him off or quiet him were made, became successful for just a minute, and then he was back.

The driver you’d called to pick you both up and drive you to the hotel is stuck in traffic, slowing his arrival by a few minutes at the least, which means the valet officers at the waiting area have become the not-so-willing spectators to the free concert. Your hell is short-lived when you see it pulling up right in front of you.

“Carlos,” you whisper. “Come on, get up.”

“Ay,” he says, words jagged and garbled. “Aún no. Dame—dame un beso borracho primero.”

You don’t understand it, but you’re in Ibiza, so the valet officers do, a light wave of giggles floating amongst them. You shrug it off and clutch his hand, guiding him to the car. “Come on,” you urge again. “Please, Carlos, I—just get in.”

He nods, still drunk, but heeding your orders and collapsing into the backseat. He refuses to let go of your hand, even after his fuzzy brain seems to have registered your irritance at having to tote him around like a child. He squeezes it, not too tight, a silent apology. You recite the hotel name.

“Could you hurry, a bit, too?” You ask, rechecking the texts you’d sent. “Please. Somebody’s waiting for us, is all.”

The driver hums in polite acknowledgement, and Ibiza becomes a blurry mess through the glass. A chill creeps up your back at Carlos’ hand holding yours so tightly, electricity coursing through the rest of you. He’s stopped singing—he did ever since he entered the car—but he’s lucid still, eyes darting around the landscape.

Spurred by the tipsiness, his head comes crashing on your shoulder again. Then, “I think of you when I sing that song.”

You pretend not to hear, but your silence is permissive. “I don’t know how to say it properly. But I miss you all the time. I miss you right now. You’re just right beside me. It—it, what do you call it, quemar? Oh, it burns me.”

Still you’re quiet. It’s the alcohol, you tell yourself. The alcohol, the party lights, the Ibiza of it all. He’s speaking nonsense. You’re okay. You squeeze his hand, to quell his words.

“I love you,” he says.

“We’re here,” you respond, letting go. You push the heavy door open and this time, you don’t offer a helping hand, walking into the lobby and listening for his wobbly, following footsteps. And you think, with a damning pain—whatever happened, the inkling of something; all that’s over now.

You look up, and his girlfriend is the first to see you, face etched with concern.

“Oh, God. Carlos!” She clasps a hand over her mouth and jogs to him, passing you by and bringing him into her arms. She kisses his cheek, asks if he’s okay, what the hell did he drink? They exchange words in Spanish, and you pause, eyeing them. The way he nods, says he loves her, the way her hands cup his neck. You watch quietly, meekly, you tell yourself.

But you know longingly is the better word.

“Thank you for taking care of him,” she says, approaching you, Carlos’ arm slung over her shoulders. You don’t meet his eyes.

“It’s no problem,” you croak. “Sorry for the bother.”

“Nonsense.” She beams. “You’re a great friend.”

#f1 #carlos sainz #leclsrc2000 #carlos sainz drabble #carlos sainz smut #carlos sainz imagines #carlos sainz fanfic #f1 x reader

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recklessfiction · 4 months

Text

There are two wizards, brothers. One lives on the top of a mountain, the other on the top floor of a skyscraper, a tower. They don't speak, there is resentment there. Until one day the wizard in the tower commissions his brother to create a relic, a skull he needs for a ritual he plans to perform. The wizard on the mountain agrees.

The skull is delivered to the cabin on the mountain by men in suits and sunglasses. The wizard takes it and tells them to return in three days. Over those days, the wizard works, carving hymns into the inside of the skull, chiseling runes into the bone and painting it with black ink. It is a beautiful thing, when it is finished, a lovely piece of art and a job well done.

The men return, pleased by the look of the thing, even though they do not know what the sigils mean, or in what languages the songs are written. There is a foul air of unearned arrogance about them. They pass along a briefcase full of money. Significantly less than what was agreed upon.

"You'll take it and like it, old man." One of the men says, foolish.

The wizard on the mountain takes the money and stays silent. Only passing a thumb over the brow of the skull, smudging it with gold paint. He says one word to it, before passing it over to the men who place it in a velvet lined box and bring it out to the car. The Wizard grins as he watches them go, teeth sharp.

The car makes it halfway down the mountain before the box begins to shake. Within it, the skull has already begun to reform its tissue, muscle and fat.

"What the fuck is going on back there?" the driver calls.

The box explodes.

Bone stretches and cracks, growing into spine and arm and shoulder held by bleeding wet muscle and flesh. There is screaming from the men in the back as blood and fat explodes from the growing body onto their clothes.

"What the fuck-!?"

"Stop the car!"

A panicked arm shoots out for the steering wheel from behind and in a craze, the driver swerves, slamming into a tree on the side of the road. The horn drones into the night, joined, at first by two screams and soon three.

The skull had grown its lungs and vocal chords.

The two surviving men in suits (the driver died on impact) clamber out of the car, white shirts soaked with blood and fluids. They scream and cry out for help until they see lights coming down the road. They wave their arms, shouting their horror and "pull over, please! Pull over!"

The car pulls off the road, an old blue pickup truck. The door opens and a figure steps out. The faces of the men fall.

"please."

BANG

One gunshot

BANG

and another

Now only one voice screams in the darkness and the Wizard on the Mountain picks his way through the bodies and debris of the crashed car towards the sound. He crouches low and pulls the once corpse-then skull-now body out from beneath the wreckage.

He drops the body into the bed of the truck before climbing into the cab. The soft start and sudden jolt makes the corpse's breath hitch and as the truck trundles back up the road to the top of the mountain, it's screams turn to quiet gasps and whimpers. The rain starts about then and its painful on the corpse's new skin. It can hear the sound of a radio from inside the truck. It can also feel the heaviness of a heart that had not been there a half hour ago, and something itches inside its head.

The car stops once they reach the cabin. When the Wizard comes around and lays a hand on it's ankle, the corpse tenses, and rightly so as it is pulled off the bed and onto the wet ground. The wizard drags it through the mud towards a small shed beside the house.

"The axe'll be easiest. You won't feel a thing."

The corpse kicks out, immediately understanding the words the Wizard says to it. Alas, it is weak and newly born, there is nothing it can do as it is brought before a large stump. It's leg is dropped as the Wizard goes to collect the axe and the corpse wastes no time in beginning it's escape, not that it gets very far.

"Ah," a sharp sound from behind, "where do you think you're goin'?"

A large arm hauls the corpse up, not gentle but not needlessly violent. Like pulling the leash on a big dog.

"Come on, don't make this difficult."

"No," the corpse croaked, squirming in the Wizard's grasp, "no."

"You got to see the stars, feel the rain, breathe," the shed was getting nearer again and the corpse felt its horrible, horrible heart slam against its chest, "What more could a dead man want?"

More. Everything. Anything more. Adrenaline coursed through new veins and it felt, to the corpse, like its body was on fire. It clawed at the skin that held it, not knowing the strength it had. Its teeth sunk into muscle and the Wizard, for all his great size, shouted out, dropping the corpse like a hot loaf tin.

The corpse moved, pushing itself up onto unsteady legs and running towards the light of the house. The Wizard's grin had turned to a snarl now as blood trickled down his arm and neck. Fingers curled around the axe handle and he pulled the blade from the block of wood before following the skull to the house.

"Fucking bodies. More trouble than they're worth."

This is an introduction to a story I'm currently working on called Freakdom. The aesthetic is based heavily on death metal and heavy metal music and art, movies like Mandy, Hellraiser, The Void, etc, and so far it's pretty cool! The resurrected skull is named Lazarus (appropriately) but I haven't gotten names for the Wizards yet. I'm having fun though!

#my writing #this is just a summary of the beginning #I have more thoughts and ideas written down but I wanted to show you guys my idea!#there WILL be a big wizard battle #the wizards ARE hot and neutral evil #the skull IS desperately sought after by the Wizards for different reasons #the skull CAN bring about the end of the world and has terrible visions of evil demons

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strniohoeee · 4 months

Note

I’m not sure if you write for Justin butttttt like the triplets have a friend and the reader is their older sister, an Justin starts to grow a crush on her…🫣

Clouded

Pairing: Justin Carey X Female Reader

Synopsis: Back home from graduate school, Y/N runs into her old best friend, and some feelings come up to the surface. Will these feelings be mutual??🫂

Warnings⚠️: None. This one was okayyy, but like Justin has me in a chokehold like let’s stop pretending he isn’t fine asf😁

Songs for the imagine: Misty- Lesley Gore, La-La Means I Love You- The Delfonics

Look at me

I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree

And I feel like i'm clinging to a cloud

I can’t understand

Being the older sister meant being the babysitter when mom and dad weren’t home. Lucky for me most of college I avoided that, but I just graduated graduate school and moved back home while I looked for a better paying job.

It was weird having a brother 6 years younger than me because for a while we never got along, but like him and I could go drinking in a few months once he turned 21??

Anyways my parents gave me the summer off while they stood in Italy on a work trip as long as I watched my brother. I mean it was easy now that he was an adult I only set two rules: no parties and no girls over. For the most part I had a free summer back home in Boston. Oh how I missed home. I lived in Tennessee while I did the last 4 years of graduate school, and the south had nothing on up north.

The day my parents were leaving was the day my brother decided to crash his car and totaled it. The idiot was texting and driving and hit a tree. I’m honestly shocked he walked away alive considering he drove a car that was older than me. Nonetheless this made me his chauffeur which I hated.

“Y/NNNN LETS GOO I HAVE PLANS” he yelled from downstairs

“SHUT UP YOU TWERP” I yelled back putting my pants on

“YOURE TAKING FOREVERRRR” he yelled again

“STEFAN IM LITERALLY COMING DOWN, NOW SHUT UP” I yelled backed as I grabbed my phone and pursed and shut my light off walking down the stairs

“Ouuu someone’s getting all pretty for their boyfriend” he said ruffling my hair

“What boyfriend you weirdo” I said pushing him away

“Justin” he said laughing

“Justin? Your friend's older brother?” I said raising an eyebrow at him

“Yeah who else? Didn’t yall have a past anyways” he said putting his sneakers on

“Umm no we were friends, and then he got all weird on me senior year and I haven’t seen him since, that was like 9 years ago” I said grabbing a water bottle

“Ohh right weirded out by your obsession he chose to go to a different college I remember you didn’t like that” he said wiggling his brows at me

“You’re a little shit. I wasn’t obsessed with him” I said flicking him in the forehead

“Right and the sky isn’t blue” he said grabbing his overnight bag

“I’ll lock you in the house and drive away have fun getting nowhere” I said smiling at him

“Your threats don’t scare me anymore I could get to their house easily” he said smiling at me

“Yeah how? With your car? Oh yeah…that’s right you don’t have one” I said looking at him in a shocked way

“Fine you win this one” he said rolling his eyes

“Don’t I always” I said opening the door for him and letting him walk out

“I’m spending the night with the triplets, so you can just drop me off and then do as you please” he said getting in the passenger seat

“Sounds good to me” I said sitting in the driver's seat and connecting my phone to the aux

“Is Justin home?” I asked Stefan randomly

“And you say your were not obsessed” he said looking up from his phone

“Just answer the question dipshit” I said rolling my eyes

“I’m actually not sure. He never really came home during breaks or anything, so I don’t even know if he lives here again, or if he moved out of state” he replied

“Hmm nice to know” I said tilting my head a bit

“Why? Going to try and get him back?” He said looking at me

“What? No….I just haven’t seen him in so long I wonder what he’s been up to. I mean him and I were best friends that’s how you became friends with Chris Nick and Matt” I replied glancing over at my brother

“Yeah it is weird how yall just stopped talking” he said

“I never even got an explanation either. We grew up in diapers together and then one random Tuesday he just completely ghosts me” I said laughing

“Pretty pathetic” my brother said

“I know right” I replied

“Oh no not him…you…pathetic that you remember the day” he said laughing

“You’re such a dick” I said smacking his chest

“OW” he yelled grabbing his chest

“20 years old and you still haven’t changed one bit” I said shaking my head at him

“You know I love you” he said tickling me

“Stop weirdo” I said laughing

I had pulled up to the triplets driveway, and he texted them that he was outside. I got out of the car to hug my brother bye and told him to behave to which he replied he’s not a little kid.

“Y/N you’re home” Matt said

“Hey guys! Look at you you’re all grown up” I said hugging them

“It’s been forever” Nick said

“I know right, four years and now I’m back home for good, and my parents make me watch this numbnut” I said pouting at Stefan

“The same old Y/N” Chris said laughing

“You know uhh Justin’s back home too” Matt said looking at me

“Oh really? I haven’t seen him in 9 years” I said nodding at him

“Really? He just moved back too from graduate school he’s looking for a better paying job” Nick said

“Oh shit really me too” I said

“I can go grab him if you want to catch up” Chris said pointing behind him

“Oh no no don’t worry! I was just about to head out” I said

“Well alright I’ll let him know you stopped by” Matt said

“Yeah sure! Have fun guys and Stefan let me know when to pick you up” I said hugging him

“Alright” he said

They had walked into the house and I got back in my car. I went to start the car when my engine started to sputter

“What the fuck?” I said furrowing my brows, this is a brand new car???

I tried it again and sudden smoke started to come out from under the hood

“Holy shit” I said taking the key out

I got out of the car and popped the hood, coughing as the smoke clouded my senses

“Need some help?” I heard from behind me

“Uh yeah” I said turning around

Immediately my heart stopped and my eyes popped out of my head

“Justin?” I said tilting my head

“That would be me” he said laughing

“Sorry that was dumb…I’m just so shocked to see you. It’s been so long” I said laughing

“I know….you look good” he said smiling at me

“Thanks” I said

“Uhh your car” he said pointing at it

“Oh right…I mean I don’t know this cars brand new I’m not sure what’s going on” I said turning and looking at the parts

“Let me take a look” he said and walked over

Justin began to examine everything, and I slowly looked at him taking his appearance in. It’s so crazy how 9 years can change someone. He looked good and I hated myself for thinking about him in that way.

“Oh I found the problem” he said looking at me, snapping out of my trance I looked at his face

“Really? What is it?” I said

“You see that wire right there? It has a tear in it, but it’s an easy fix I can do it for you” he said

“Really? You’d do that?” I said smiling at him

“Well of course” he said nodding at me

He walked away and got some kit for cars as he began to patch the wire up

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I questioned

“What do you mean? I’ve always been nice” he said glancing over at me

“Mmm I don’t know. We grew up together and then one day senior year you just stopped talking to me, you acted like I was a ghost” I said crossing my arms over my chest

“Did I?” He said looking down at the wire

“Don’t play dumb I know you did it for a reason, and it hurt me” I said

“I guess we just grew apart” he said wiping his forehead

“Justin we made plans to go to the same college and the same graduate school, and then the same day you stop talking to me is the same day I find out you switched schools” I said blinking at him

“Well I got a better scholarship offer with the other school” he said looking at me

“Bullshit” I said scoffing

“No it’s true” he said finishing up the wire

“You got a full ride just like I did…your mom told me, so you deliberately switched schools and cut me off….why?” I asked

“I don’t know why okay” he said throwing his hands up in defense

“Yes you do Justin stop lying” I said

“Why does it even matter anyways? We're 26…..don’t you have adult things to worry about and not why we stopped being friends at 17” he said bluntly

“Asshole much?” I said shaking my head at him

“I’m not….it just doesn’t matter” he said

“Yes it does…what you did hurt me, and for 9 years my best friend of 17 years never gave me an explanation, and right now as we stand here as adults he’s pulling the most childish act of all by not telling me the truth” I stated staring him down

“Want to know the reason? Huh? You’re itching for it? That’s your issue you can never live in the unknown you have to know it all” he said looking at me and scoffing

“Yes Justin I do” I said stomping my foot down

“I cut you off and switched schools because I was so madly in love with you, and I could never have you because you never felt the same way. I sat for years watching you cry and chase over boys who didn’t care about you. I wanted to be that guy you chased so badly, and when I realized at 17 that I would never be that I put my big boy pants on and let reality sit in. I could not chase you to another school for another 8 years like a love sick puppy when you didn’t care about me that way.” He stated slamming his tool box shut

“I…I never knew that” I said my gaze softening

“I didn’t expect you to, you were so far up some other guys ass you couldn't see how much I loved you” he stated slamming my hood shut

“No Justin! I liked you too, but you felt unreal to me. You didn’t seem tangible. The cool guy that every girl liked….I let that school girl crush die a long time ago, and I shouldn’t have” I replied

“Why didn’t you say anything? I would’ve tried harder. I would’ve went to school with you like we promised” He asked in a whisper

“I tried….that day I went and walked up to you to tell you, and you walked right past me like I wasn’t even there. That day killed me. I realized I lost you forever” I said shaking my head

“I’m such an idiot….in love with you since I was 13 and I let you slip through my fingers” he said shaking my head

“It’s okay Justin” I said laughing a bit

“I feel like such a dick” he said laughing too

“I mean you were, but we were also 17, so it’s alright” I said

“Let me make it up to you” he said looking at me

“You already fixed my car that’s more than enough” I said smiling at him

“Speaking of which that tear in the wire was a perfect incision like someone did it purposely…” he said laughing again

“Stefan…” I said shaking my head

“He may be a dick, but he seems to be your wingman” Justin said

“I have to give it to him…I didn’t see that coming” I said giggling

“Smart kid” he said

“Very” I replied laughing

“You know I’ve always liked you like a lot, and I’m sure my brothers told your brother about my major crush on you” he said laughing

“Mmm he’s never told me, but I did raise my eyebrows a few times with the way they always wanted to run and get you so we could see each other” I said laughing too

“Our own little wingmen and we were so blind to it” he said

“It’s so crazy, but listen I have to head downtown and it was great seeing you and thank you so much for fixing my car I owe you” I said leaning off my car and taking my keys out

“Listen, don't even worry about it, okay! You being back in town is more than enough” he said offering me a smile

“Wow Carey you have a good way with words” I said looking back at him

“Didn’t I always” he said raising his eyebrows at me

“Mmm I suppose so” I replied opening my car door

“Well I’ll see you around then” he said nodding his head at me

“I mean would you like to come with me? I just have some errands to run for my parents it’ll be like the old days” I said

“Uhh yeah, yeah sure” he said nodding his head

“Cool hop in” I said sitting in the car

“Hop in? What are you 40” he said sitting in the car

“Shut up Justin….you're still the same” I said backing out of the driveway

“And so are you, always flustered when I tease you” he said poking me

“Back off” I said laughing at him

“I’m so glad we’ve got back together” he said looking over at me

“I agree” I replied glancing over at him

That day we spent together was amazing. We ran into town and reminisced on how we used to go out together to these shops all the time. I really enjoyed his company, and I couldn’t believe it took us so long to reconnect and talk about everything.

We sat on a bench downtown eating our lunch and just watching the scenery.

“You know I really really like you like a lot” he blurted out

“Justin you keep saying this” I said giggling

“I know, but I never got to say it, and it’s been on my mind for 9 years” he replied looking down

“You should’ve called or texted” I replied

“I know, but I figured you hated me, so I didn’t bother” he said to me

“Hate you? Never was I upset yeah, but I could never hate you” I replied eating a piece of my food

“I’m just sorry like I was such an idiot” he said shaking his head

“Justin it’s okay we were teenagers that doesn’t define who we are now” I said to him

“Yeah you’re right” he said nodding his head

“Plus you’re hotter now than back in high school” I said leaning over to him

“What” he said blushing

“It’s the truth” I said giggling at him

“You’ve always been beautiful to me” he said looking up at me

“Heyyy way to make me look like an ass” I said laughing

“No! Never” he said winking at me

“You think I’m beautiful?” I said shocked

“I mean who doesn’t? Everything about you is beautiful inside and out” he said taking a sip of his drink

“Thank you Justin” I said

He smiled at me while we finished our food

“So I say we head back?” I asked as I tossed our trash out

“Uh yeah that’s nice” he said

“And then you can give me a room tour” I said laughing

“It hasn’t changed much. I’m never really home” he said

“No? How come you’re back now” I said as we walked back to my car

“Mmm I heard through the grapevine you were coming back home and I wanted to possibly see you again” he said

“Who told you? My brother?” I asked

“No, my mom did actually” he said

“Mmm she always thought we were more than what we actually were” I said laughing

“I know, no matter how many times I told her no. I guess she still hopes we end up together” he replied

“I agree with her” I said as we got in the car

I had driven back to their house and went up to Justin’s room. It really has not changed at all.

“Even the bed sheets are the same from High school” I said sitting on his bed

“I told you I’m never home” he said shrugging

“You really came home for me?” I said shaking my head

“Uhhh well I also have a family too” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Right right” I said laughing

Justin had sat down next to me and I began to get nervous just like I did in high school.

“You really haven’t changed one bit” he said laughing

“What do you mean?” I asked looking over at him

“You’re still nervous everytime I sit next to you” he said bumping my shoulder

“Oh shut up” I said bumping his shoulder back

We looked at each other for a moment, searching each other's eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked me

“Yes” I whispered

Justin crashed his lips to mine, and his right hand came to my cheek. Caressing it and rubbing my cheek with his thumb as our lips locked in a kiss.

I can’t believe it took me 13 years to kiss my best friend who I’ve been madly in love with since I was 13. I wouldn’t change this moment for anything.

We pulled away and looked in each other's eyes smiling, and I reconnected our lips kissing him once more.

Suddenly his door opened, and we broke apart.

“OH MY GOD” my brother yelled with Chris, Nick and Matt behind him

“STEFAN” I yelled

“spying on us?” Justin asked standing up

“Whatttt no” Chris said high pitched

“Yeah sure you weirdos” I said laughing

“Come on let’s go downstairs” Justin said

We went downstairs and spent the day with our brothers. Sitting on the couch in each other's arms as we watched movies.

His parents came home to see us in each other's arms, and were pleasantly surprised.

I guess falling in love with your best friend is a lot easier than you’d think…..

The End

Alrightttt hope you enjoyed this one. I was like mehhh about it IDKKK. But love yall 🥹🖤

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets imagines #Justin Carey imagines #Justin Carey X female reader #Justin carey x reader imagines

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theteabush · 11 months

Note

Hii! Can I please have some hunter sylvester headcanons where he has a fem s/o who has a fairy kei style and is very sweet and innocent, but also loves the same metal and things he does?

|Hunter Sylvester x fem!reader with a fairy kei style|

Note: HI ANON!! You're actually my first ask, and I'm so exciteeeed because my style is also fairy kei with a mix of lolita and this got me all smiliiin'. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. It's not the best and I'm so sorry TwT

Warnings: none

Hunter was dumbfounded when he saw you

Like literally.

Would question Kevin and/or random people about you

He would constantly beat himself up about this weird feeling,

Because having a crush on someone exactly the opposite of him was 'not metal' of him

"Dude just ask for her name"-Kevin

*visibly goes red*

Everytime he sees pink he thinks about you

He literally wrote a song about you and how much you're messing with his head

He randomly fixes his hair when sees you walking in

"Emily knows her. We could ask her"

When he hears that he would literally beg for that to happen

One time he almost crashed his car when you appeared in his mind

Would look at you in classes, questioning about this 'weird' style you have (you don't. He just doesn't understand it)

Does Google research about this

BRO LITERALLY BECOMES SHAKESPEARE AND WRITES POEMS

He smiles to himself when he thinks about you

"you good?" - Kevin

"yes, just the allergies messing with my muscles"

"????" - kevin

Emily told him your name so now he knows his mysterious crush

Literally gets TikTok videos with 'soulmates' with your initials 😭

He thinks he's in some type of spell

Totally denies his feelings sometimes because he's not used to it

At some point he talks to you

"nice weather outside, am I right?"

He literally goes ;-; and face-palms himself mentally

His eyes wide when he realises you're laughing

BABY BOY SO NERVOUS

compliments your clothing style

When he learns that you like his style and music taste, he goes blank

No thoughts, head empty

His heart races with 100 per/mile

"t-thanks. Its the trauma"

He's so awkward, he's just scared to not scare you off

That joke literally came out of nowhere

He would start talking about fairy kei because he memorised everything from Google just to impress you

You literally think it's cute

HE HAS A HELLO KITTY BACKPACK KEYCHAIN DONT ASK FROM WHERE HE JUST HAS IT

He gifted it to you

He would give you stuff every day at school, such as hair pins, bracelets, cute accessories, small stuff that reminds him of you

Would plan a picnic date night in a nearby forest with fairy lights in trees n' shit

HE PLAYS THE GUITAR FOR YOU

Would ramble at some point, talking about his favourite bands and their history

When he realises that you're listening and actually interested in what he says, he falls in love. Literally.

He's VERY surprised that you are also into metal

He actually opens up a little bit to you about his past. Just a little bit

Starts questioning on how you chose this style

Would listen to every single detail you give him

EMILY THINKS Y'ALL ARE THE SWEETEST

Would put his rings on your fingers, even if they're too big, just to see something of him on you

CONSTANTLY BLUSHES

He never thought about loving someone the opposite of him

PEOPLE ARE SHOCKED WHEN YOU TWO ANNOUNCED YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Would put stickers on your face

HE LETS YOU USE HIM AS A PERSONAL ACCESSORY TESTER

"Do you think this is cute?" - you

"Let's find out"

HE. KISSES. YOUR. HAND

"How's my floating cotton candy doing?"

You're literally his will to live 😭

His life so boring and grey, until ✨ you ✨ come in picture

People are whispering about you guys but who tf cares?

"You're like a heart"

"how so?" - you

"without you everything dies around"

💳 💥

OVERALL Y'ALL FUCKING CUTE

#hunter #hunter sylvester #hunter metal lords #hunter sylvester x reader #Hunter sylvester x you #metal lords #Netflix #Headcanons #Hunter sylvester x fem!reader

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theshipdiaries · 6 months

Text

Saw someone complain saying that it made no sense for Frank to call Karen family on the punisher season 1 and that that hug was also out of nowhere which must mean it was all fan service. I was answering but while doing so the post was deleted... so here is what I wrote:

Well she was the only one who cared about what happened to his family and fought tooth and nail for him to get answers and for him to have a reduced sentence.

He started caring about her there and she already cared because she saw something of herself in him (she projected) and understood him. She was obsessed with finding out more about him from the start. And that was not fan service. She thought if he could be saved then so could she. Everyone else thought she was crazy for caring but she knew there was more and she had been through something similar when her brother died. All the lies the town and the local news paper spread because they didn't care to get the real story.

He was ready to DIE. Like- he had given up when he was at that hospital on DD season 2 and Karen came in and showed him that she cared about what happened to him and she wanted to help him, that not all hope was lost, that he COULD find out what happened to his family. She is the reason he decided he wanted to keep living because otherwise they were gonna give him the death penalty and he knew that.

And during the trial and before that she was the only person he would talk to. And that lasted a few weeks. So we can assume they saw each other very frequently during those 3 weeks and had long hours working on his case together. He saved her life more than once and yeah, he used her as bait but it was also to kill the minions going after her. The blacksmith was gonna kill her and he saved her by crashing the car. He put the song in the car first so she would know to keep an eye out. She also spent ALL night at the docks waiting to see if he was there and Matt heard her heartbeat when she thought Frank was dead, meaning he knew she was in love or at least cared a lot about him. That was before "fanservice".

All of this was during Daredevil's season 2. They found a connection through their losses and brokenness. She told him he was a monster because she was talking about HERSELF, again, projecting because she thought if he killed again that meant she wasn't worth forgiving. Even Deborah talked about that. She was just trying to make him stop by any means. If Frank killed the Black smith he was never gonna know the truth about his family. He said he was already dead because he felt like he didn't deserve her help or her compassion. You can see in The Punisher that he isolates himself because he doesn't believe he deserves to be loved. Even curtis says that he can keep pushing people away but it won't stop them from caring. During The Punisher, aside from Curtis, she is literally all he has. The only other person that cares about what happens to him. Believe or not that can mean a lot to someone who's whole family was murdered in front of him and has no one.

Also, the actors pushed for her to be on the show. And even if it is fanservice…. it was well done, their relationship makes sense if you analyze it or at least understand it and I eat it up.

#I will defend them with everything I have #the punisher #daredevil #kastle #karen page #frank castle #anti kastle #karen x frank #mcu #marvel #the defenders #matt murdock #as if I didn't just make a 4 minute edit about them explaining their whole ass connection

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thursdaybandcomments · 8 months

Text

#source: youtube #song: understanding in a car crash (live)

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kvetchlandia · 8 months

Text

Jim Marshall Lou Rawls and Big Mama Thornton, Monterey Jazz Festival, Monterey, CA, 1964

"" began to learn acceptance, direction, understanding and perception, all elements that had been sadly lacking in my life. I might have lived long enough to learn all this in the long haul, but I would have been just another soul taking up time and space before I learned." -Lou Rawls, on on surviving a 1958 car crash that left him in a coma for five days.

“I gave her the right and the permission to make “Ball ‘n’ Chain,” She always was my idol before she passed away… and I thank her for helping me.” Willie Mae "Big Mama" Thornton on Janis Joplin's cover of her song.

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mar3ggiata · 25 days

Text

professional help, c5. The shit plan.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, awful deaths.

song to listen to when reading this: Heartbeat, Childish Gambino.

abstract: hi this is Simon. okay, before you read this, I'm gonna say this once and never repeat it again. maybe she was right. don't tell her I told you, and don't you dare even remember anything I said in this stupid chapter.

He had thought about Jude quite a bit. He knew nothing about her, but she made an impression on him. She was interesting. He wanted to know if she was still angry at him, for what he said. He thought a lot if he had been too rude, and he always settled on a no. He had fun, played a bit, picked a little fight. He was sure she could handle it, she didn't seem like the type to get offended easily. But now he thought about her. He thought about how she was dressed, her grey trousers. He thought about the skin below her ear. That caramel coloured skin. She's from a sunny place. He thought about her hair. He thought about her soft hand against his rough one. Her small hand. Her grip was firm. He thought about her car, used, dirty Volkswagen Polo, dark grey. He saw her driving away from a window that same day. He thought about her eyelashes. He made it a mission to find out things about her. He wanted to know if she still lived in that apartment he saw a year prior, the layout of her house. Did she live alone? Maybe she had a boyfriend. How old was she? Knowing so little about this girl drove him mad. She had an intriguing presence, she was captivating. And she always seemed to crash important events. This time she didn't bother knocking on the briefing room door. She came straight in. This time she really looked like death. All black attire, long black coat that made her shiny blonde locks stand out even more. A doll. With a chainsaw. He had to repress his surprised face when seeing her. And seeing her so mad all the time really reminded him he had never saw her smile, just a little maybe. Price turned his head and he could feel from across the room his captain's heart skip a beat. Jude was the representation of bad news. Her eyes were fiery.

'He didn't show up', she said, not waiting for anyone to speak. In the room, apart from him and the captain, no one knew what the fuck she was on about. Then she looked at him. She looked at him and he tilted his head, he understood that look. 'I told you your plan was shit' look. In the awkward silence, he felt his teammates start to wonder what his business was with her. She wouldn't look away and his lips were starting to form a smile. We could stay like this all day.

'What do you mean he didn't show up?' asked the captain, raising from his chair. She wanted to scream. She wanted to throw the chairs in the room out the window. She blinked a few times, are we still having this conversation? 'I mean exactly what I said.' She gave them a sarcastic smile. She was annoying, Jesus Christ… 'I mean he was late for the session, I waited 15 minutes alone in my office, called him three times and after another 15 minutes decided I'm going after him. This is what I mean.' She was furious. So stupid. So ignorant. This is what you sign up for working in a male dominated field.

'You're going where?' This was Simon speaking, standing up as well. He earned another glare of contempt from her. 'I'm gonna see what direction he took from the CCTV footage and try to find him, wherever he is. It's what we should have done from the beginning.' She explained. 'We? What's going on?' Johnny stood up from the chair next to him. 'Hi, Jude right? Cool name', he added, not wanting to upset her further. Truth is, no one in the team knew about their plan with Arash, cause it just didn't matter, they had other things to worry about for Christ's sake! She looked around, finally understanding Price didn't tell anyone about their meeting. How could they think this wasn't important? 'Listen', Price began, 'Let's all calm down', he stated, before making his way to Jude, 'I'm gonna send my men, we're gonna find him and we're gonna bring him back, gentlemen!' He turned towards them, trying to regain control of the situation. 'Amir..'

'Arash!' Jude corrected.

'Arash, you're right, Arash Tehrani is probably not far from here, from what we've gathered he has something to do with our missions and why they were ambushed. I've spoken to Jude and suggested we would wait for him to speak to her during therapy and the fact that he hasn't shown up is a clear sign he's out there communicating with the enemy.' Jude was not impressed by his speech and stood with her arms crossed in the corner of the room. She almost caught Simon looking at her. 'Ghost and Gaz, you'll get a car and follow the direction that Arash took, look through the CCTV before you leave…'

Jude interrupted him, and frankly, ha quite hoped she would. 'I'm going with them'. Him and Price spoke at the same time 'You're not'. We're not out here playing spies. She didn't flinch. 'I am! I know my patient, let's say we find him and he's in distress. He doesn't know you, he trusts me. Plus, you owe me cause I was right all this time’. We don't owe you shit Jude, you need to calm down. He hated to admit it, she wasn't totally wrong. News flash, they had guns to defend themselves, but maybe a public space wasn't really the place for a gun fight. It was comic, it was such a weird situation. In all his years in the military he had never experienced something funnier. There was a new addition to the team eh? A stranger, a pretty girl with pretty eyes and very pretty legs that had nothing to do with this mission was going to help them solve the case. Wonderful. Straight out of a movie. He was in a car, his teammate beside him, not even full gear on cause he didn't have time, driving south, through the desert. In the backseat, Jude was sitting quietly like she did a year prior with her hands between her thighs.

Price had agreed, thank God. She had insisted quite a bit, she knew it was dangerous and understood his concern. She wasn't alone, Big Bad Ghost Guy and Handsome Brunette were with her, no? She was gonna be fine. Deep down, she was glad they let her come. They even landed her a bulletproof vest, too big for her torso, but still. She was going to get to the bottom of the situation, she was the one who started the whole investigation in the first place. And if they had listened to her, they would have saved time and probably got Arash already. She was snapped back to reality by Pretty Calvin Klein Model on the front seat. 'I'm Kyle' he offered his hand, turning backwards to face her. 'Jude, nice to meet you', she replied. Simon noticed she smiled. She smiled at Gaz. She shook his hand and smiled. He noticed her soft cheeks and the wrinkles in her forehead smooth in a relaxed expression. 'You're gonna tell us if you see him, 'kay?' he instructed, strapping his vest tighter on his chest. 'Sure'. They were passing by a few shops, some gas stations. 'How long have you been working here?' Gaz was really interested into making conversation hu? Simon was driving silently, his foot lingering on the brakes just in case he spotted something. 'Two years' she replied. Her tone was soft unlike when she had talked to him. Her voice was warm. Not really the time to get to know each other guys. Jude, of all people, you? The super serious psychologist who begged them to bring her on this man hunt, flirting with a soldier from the back of the car? It was me, Simon thought, who you got matching tattoos with in Ibiza. Ridiculous. A well renowned Lieutenant like him, forced to babysit two…

'The car!' screamed Jude, interrupting his train of thoughts. He quickly pulled up at the side of the road, right behind one of the trucks with the base logo imprinted on the back door. They had really found him.

notes: surprise!! it's not Saturday yet, listen to what I thought. Since some chapters are shorter than others, I will just post two times this week, and then keep it one time per week when the chapters are longer, genius.

notes: replies and reblogs are highly appreciated, hope you like this!!

love, mare.

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

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thisapplepielife · 5 months

Text

Written for the @steddiemas challenge.

Yours for the Weekend

Prompt Day 4: Winter-Themed Songs | Word Count: 8340 | Rating: M | CW: Mild Sexual Content | Tags: AU, No Upside Down, Future Fic, Going Home, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Eddie POV

Also available right here on A03.

Eddie steps out of the car, right between the Methodist church and the Hawkins High School building. It's changed. A new building, new paint scheme, a freshly paved parking lot. They've remodeled, and dozed down the memories, good and bad, that clung to this place.

The cafeteria is gone, moved somewhere new, he supposes.

Eddie isn't sentimental for school. He hated school, the three tries he had at his senior year are enough to prove that. But he misses that time, all the same. He misses Hellfire Club. He misses playing music in Gareth's garage. He misses their weekly Tuesday gig at The Hideout.

He misses his unlikely, and tentative friendship with Steve Harrington, that grew into their love that followed.

He doesn't miss his hometown, except for when he does.

"Since when do you miss this goddamn place?" Gareth asks, leaning over towards the driver's side from the passenger seat of the rental car. Stretching, trying to see Eddie's face as he stands outside the car.

He doesn't miss it. Not really.

"It's just changed. That's all," Eddie says, ducking down to look at Gareth. They've all changed.

"Come on, Eddie, it's fucking cold!" Goodie yells from the backseat, and Eddie hears Jeff shushing him.

Jeff's trying to give him a minute, even if the other two don't understand it. Eddie appreciates it. He doesn't really understand it himself. But driving by this place, and seeing it looking so different, did something to him he hadn't expected.

He escaped this place, and everything, everyone, in it.

That's all he ever wanted, and now…

Now, there's a lump in his throat that's hard to swallow around. He doesn't understand.

They're working in L.A., playing music every night. They aren't big, not really. Eddie sincerely doubts they'll ever be big. But they can afford to make music for a living, and that's not nothing. Not everyone can do that, but they've made it happen.

From living in a one bedroom apartment together, taking turns with who got the bedroom, while the rest of them crashed all over the living room until it was their turn again.

Then being able to afford two apartments. Right across the hall from each other. Jeff and Goodie in one, him and Gareth in the other. Their own separate bedrooms and everything.

To shopping around for single studios in nicer buildings, and just realizing that even though they can afford it, and somehow, they can, that they'd rather just stick together.

"Eddie!" Goodie yells again, and Eddie turns and puts his hands up in surrender, climbing back into the car.

Eddie drops Jeff off at home, then Goodie, and then it's just him and Gareth left in the car. Driving through the snow-packed streets of Hawkins.

"You could just talk to him, you know?" Gareth says, looking at Eddie, knowingly.

Eddie could try to deny it, but yeah, that's where his head has been since their plane touched down in Indiana. Where his head often is, always. But it's easier to push it to the back of his mind when there's some distance between him and his hometown. Between him and Steve.

"Yeah, well, last I heard he was getting married," Eddie says.

"That fell apart," Gareth says, "a long time ago. And you already know that."

Yeah, Eddie knows that. He just doesn't want to talk about it. He never wants to talk about, or hear about, what Steve's been up to since he's been gone. If he did, he'd ask. But it's none of his business, and it's not like Steve has been checking up on him, either. He's never flown out to L.A. and he definitely never asked Eddie to stay.

He let Eddie go, let him escape this place, and that was that.

"It's just easier not to," Eddie finally says.

"Sure it is," Gareth says, and Eddie cuts him a look.

"Since when are you on Team Steve?" Eddie asks. Gareth liked Steve just fine, but he was also the first in line to get out of this town, the minute he graduated high school and turned eighteen. He was definitely not at all concerned at the time that their skipping town meant Eddie's relationship with Steve would come to an end.

Gareth looks over at him, "What? I'm not. I'm Team Eddie. Always. But Team Eddie is kind of a sad sack team these days. We've got a losing record going, big time."

Eddie laughs, "Fair enough. But what do you know about sports? Nothing, last I checked."

"I played as a kid. Baseball. Soccer. You know, the usual suspects. Before I found the drums."

Eddie isn't sure he knew that. This is his best friend, and he's still learning things about him, all these years later.

"Just. Talk to him. Either finish it for good, or…"

"Just pick open some old scabs?" Eddie says, sarcastically.

"Sure, do that. We've got a first aid kit. We can bandage you up again. We did it the last time," Gareth says, and they did. They have. Over and over, for ten years. Without his friends, without his band, he doesn't know where he'd be. Aimless. Shiftless. A wanderer.

Just…lost.

"If I see him, I see him," Eddie finally concedes.

But he has no plans to see Steve Harrington. Not this trip. Not any trip.

He's snuck in and out of town a few times over the years, and hasn't ran into Steve yet. He's pretty sure they're on the same page about making sure they don't cross paths. And that's okay. Easier.

Finally alone, he pulls into Wayne's driveway in front of the comfortable little house. Eddie doesn't have a lot of money. But he worked his ass off while waiting for Gareth to finish high school. And every spare dime he had that wasn't earmarked for the band's move out west, went towards a house for Wayne.

It's not paid off, not by a long shot. But it's theirs. Their home. The trailer was starting to cost more to upkeep than a down payment on a house would be, so Eddie made that his goal. The last thing he'd do before he left town.

He did it. They'd moved Wayne in. Him and Gareth, Jeff and Goodie. Steve. The kids.

And then Steve had watched him go. It wasn't dramatic, their parting. The lore of it, between their friends, is far more interesting than the actual break-up ever was.

It was just quiet recognition that it was over. Eddie was going, and Steve was staying.

And he has stayed, all these years, as far as Eddie knows.

Steve opened an ice cream shop, selling artisan ice cream. Dustin has said Steve took some classes to learn how to make ice cream. Real ice cream. Fancy ice cream. And he took others to figure out how to run the business side. Ice cream, though. That's kind of a hilarious choice, after his stint at Scoops Ahoy when they were teens.

Less hilarious, was that Steve fell in love again, and almost married someone else. A woman Eddie never met, and he's glad. He couldn't have handled it. Not a chance in hell. But, it didn't matter, Eddie heard through the grapevine a year or two ago that the relationship had ended, just as quietly as theirs had.

At least Eddie had nothing to do with it. He would have, if all their mutual friends had gotten their way. Everybody had reached out, making sure he knew. Like it was his place to object. He left. Steve was bound to find someone else, eventually.

Eddie's never bothered with love again. He doesn't have the time or the energy. His heart was broken, by his own doing, a decade ago. And he's just never felt like sweeping up the shattered pieces of his heart, to try to give them to someone else.

It's broken, pretty much beyond repair, and he's used to it by now. He has one-night stands, he fucks around when the itch arises, but his heart? That's not in play. Not anymore. Been there, done that.

He gave that away a long time ago.

Steve never gave it back, and Eddie never asked him to, so, here they are.

Wayne opens the front door, and that's Eddie's cue. He steps out of the car and Wayne smiles.

Eddie jogs up the drive, careful of the ice, but he can't resist rushing into his arms, barreling into his chest, squeezing him tight.

"There's my boy," Wayne says quietly, and Eddie just holds on longer. He might be over thirty years old, but he's still Wayne's boy. Always has been, always will be. "Merry Christmas, Eddie. I'm glad you came home."

"Me too, old man."

Hawkins might be a place he's avoided, but he's missed Uncle Wayne like crazy.

He's thirty-two, but he suddenly feels much older, for some reason.

Wayne cooks them dinner, just like he always did, and Eddie sits down in the recliner next to him, plate in hand, right in front of the television.

The television is new since the last time Eddie was here, and large. Very large. Not at all in Wayne's usual style. Or budget.

"What possessed you to get a TV this big?" Eddie asks.

"Oh, a friend was getting a new one. Asked if I wanted this one. I said okay," Wayne says, not expanding on it. Like that's a full story.

"You finally got some rich friends I don't know about?" Eddie teases.

"You don't know everything about me, kid," Wayne teases back.

That's true. Wayne doesn't know everything about him either. Just most things. The things that matter the most.

"So, what are your plans while you're home?" Wayne asks.

And Eddie shrugs. They're only here for a few days. He just assumed he'd hang out around the house.

"Carolyn Jones called last week. She's expecting us all for dinner the day after Christmas," Wayne says.

And Eddie expected nothing less. Mama Jones will want to gather them all, now that they're home. Gareth didn't warn him, but Gareth probably didn't know about it either. His mom is always gonna do what she wants, anyway.

And she'll want all of her boys under her roof again, around her dining room table, for at least one meal.

So, they'll all go, parents included, and update them all on their lives in California. It'll be loud and a big production.

Not like tonight, just here with Wayne.

Eddie sits around and Wayne comes up behind his chair and hands him a bowl of ice cream. Eddie digs his spoon into it, and this definitely isn't from the cheap, plastic party buckets they used to buy while he was growing up.

This is pistachio. Good pistachio, his favorite flavor.

"Is this from…you know?"

He can't even say his name. He definitely can't eat his ice cream.

"No," Wayne says, and Eddie nods. Of course not. Eddie laughs just trying to picture Uncle Wayne buying fancy containers of Steve's ice cream. It's a ridiculous thought.

The next day, they have a quiet Christmas day at home, just the two of them. And they play the guitar together, and Eddie has fun like he hasn't in a long time. They should have made this trip longer. Only a couple days won't be enough.

They take turns picking songs to play, and it's just like it was when he was growing up. Before he got an attitude. He's missed Uncle Wayne, and this is the best Christmas Eddie's had in a long time.

The next morning, they're hanging around in Gareth's living room, like they don't see each other the other fifty-one weeks of the year.

"I'll make anything you boys want, you just have to go to the store and pick up the ingredients," Mama Jones says, and they start squabbling amongst themselves. All having different ideas.

"She's my mom. I should get to pick," Gareth whines, and the rest of them grumble, but concede. They've never had a bad meal in this house, and they expect tonight will be no different. No matter what Gareth chooses.

They all nod, and look at him, expectantly.

"Lasagna?" Gareth suggests, and that works. That definitely works.

In the store, they've split the list in half, Gareth taking one half, and Eddie taking the other. It's not even on the list, but Eddie stands in the freezer section for a long time, just staring at a small shelf of pints of ice cream. Dairy King Creamery. There's a locally made sticker on the glass, and these are Steve's, for sure.

Eddie reaches for the handle, and stops before he grasps it. That's not what they're here for. Not today. Maybe later, maybe before he goes back to L.A.

He wanders to an aisle he actually needs to be in, and he's squatted down, looking at all the different lasagna noodle choices. He doesn't know what the best option is. The cheapest? His instinct is always to go for the cheapest. But he consults his half of the list again.

Mama Jones has actually specified. That makes this much easier. So, he picks up three of the red boxes, and puts them in his basket, and pushes himself back upright.

"Eddie?"

Eddie hears the soft, familiar voice, and freezes.

Steve.

He turns and looks, and sure enough Steve is standing in the aisle of the Big Buy, right behind him. Pushing a cart full of groceries. Eddie wants to paw through them. Wants to learn something new about him.

He doesn't.

"Hi," Eddie says, just as soft.

Steve smiles at him, and Eddie smiles back. There's no bad blood here, not really, just distance. And time.

And then Steve is coming at him, clearly going to hug him, so Eddie just opens his arms. Wraps them around Steve, banging his basket against Steve's back, and holds on. He still smells like Steve, and Eddie leans into it for longer than he should, he's sure of it.

"Eddie, hurry up!" Gareth shouts, rounding the corner of the aisle.

Eddie turns his head, and Gareth has frozen like a deer in headlights. And Eddie steps back from Steve, reluctantly.

"Hey, Gareth," Steve says, crossing the distance, and offering him his hand.

Gareth takes it, and Eddie watches them shake.

"You all home this year?" Steve asks, looking between them, and they both nod.

"Yeah, all of us," Gareth says, once he realizes Eddie's not going to answer. He can't. His mouth is dry.

"Well, maybe I'll see you around town? I'm going to the Christmas parade tomorrow night, if either of you want to grab a hot chocolate and catch up or anything," Steve says, like it's an offer for the both of them.

It's not. It's an offer for Eddie. Eddie knows that. He's sure Gareth knows it, too.

Eddie nods, against his own will, but it makes Steve smile. So he doesn't regret it, too much. He doesn't have to go. Steve will understand if he doesn't show up.

And at that, Steve walks back towards his cart, grasping Eddie's shoulder and squeezing it on the way by.

Eddie watches him go, watches him walk away.

It is his turn to do that, after all.

When he turns the other way, Gareth's eyes are huge. Bugging out. Eddie just points at him, willing him to swallow all that down, at least until they're in the car.

Gareth seems to understand, and keeps quiet. Which is a Christmas miracle, for real.

It's only as he's bagging his groceries that he realizes the Christmas parade is after Christmas? What sense does that make?

"Is the Christmas parade really tomorrow? After Christmas?" Eddie asks the cashier, and she nods.

"They wanted it on Saturday, and well, you know Hawkins," she says.

Yeah, Eddie knows Hawkins.

They load the groceries into the rental car, and Eddie watches as Steve does the same across the parking lot, putting his stuff in the back seat of his pickup. Steve Harrington has a pickup now. Eddie would have never guessed that.

As soon as they're in the car, Gareth is vibrating.

"Okay, just let it out," Eddie says, resigned.

"You were fucking hugging him!" Gareth yells, and Eddie just looks at him, waiting to see if he's finished. Surely, this mouthy little shit has more to say than just that. But he just looks at Eddie.

"Was I supposed to dodge it? He hugged me first, I'll have you know."

"And you hated that, I'm sure," Gareth says, rolling his eyes.

"I never said that," Eddie answers.

"Well?"

"Well, what? I saw him. It was fine. We both lived."

"Are you going to the parade tomorrow?" Gareth asks.

"Probably not," Eddie says, and Gareth laughs as Eddie's putting the car into reverse. Gareth clearly isn't believing him. That's okay.

He shouldn't believe him.

Of course he's going.

And the next night, Eddie stands on the street, looking like he's waiting for the parade to start. But he's only waiting on Steve. Maybe Steve won't show up? Maybe it wasn't a real offer? Maybe he was just being nice?

But those thoughts, those fears, all melt away when he sees Steve pushing his way through the crowded sidewalk, stopping in front of Eddie, smiling.

"You want that hot chocolate?" Steve asks, and Eddie rubs his hands together. It's cold out here, so yeah, that sounds pretty damn good, right about now. At least it'll give him something to do with his hands.

Steve leads him down the street, and Eddie follows. He's not sure where they're going, but Steve pauses in front of a darkened storefront. Eddie looks up. It's Steve's store, and Eddie watches as Steve pushes the key into the lock, and turns it, pushing the door open.

The little bell on the door, ringing out in the silence.

Once they're inside the warmth of the shop, Steve locks the door behind them again, and nods for Eddie to follow him to the back. Eddie does, looking around as he goes. The wall is decorated with old pictures. The kids. Robin. Lots of Steve and Robin, together. Several of them in their Scoops Ahoy uniforms as teens.

He wonders where Robin is. This ice cream shop is half her baby, too, he's pretty sure. They don't do anything without each other. It's impossible.

There's a larger one of a teenage Steve, armed with an ice cream scoop, his other hand on his hip, looking very serious. He wasn't. Couldn't be, not in that little sailor suit. It makes Eddie smile. He remembers those days, with a hazy fondness. It's been so long now, but he can still picture Steve Harrington behind that brightly lit counter, just glowing.

Eddie keeps looking at the pictures, and there's one of him, too. With the band, when they were young, and still playing The Hideout every week.

Eddie runs his finger over the glass, and feels an ache in his chest. This was so long ago. A lifetime, really. He hasn't felt that young in a very long time. Gareth was a baby. They all were.

"You comin'?" Steve asks, and Eddie follows the sound of his voice. Steve's standing behind the counter, holding up the divider for Eddie, just like he did all those years ago in Scoops Ahoy. He looks even better now, in a warm sweater instead of dumb sailor hat.

"Yeah, I'm coming," Eddie says, and he shrugs off his coat and hangs it on the rack at the front of the store before he follows Steve to the back, where he watches Steve make two mugs of hot chocolate.

"From packets, Harrington? I thought this was an artisan shop?" Eddie teases.

"Artisan ice cream, I said nothing about artisan hot chocolate," Steve banters back.

Eddie had expected a cup of hot chocolate from some sort of street vendor anyway, not one Steve made in the office of his store. His private space, that Eddie's been invited into. To look around, to spend some time with his first love.

His only love, honestly.

Eddie sits down on the couch, and soon enough he's being handed a steaming mug, and Steve is sitting down next to him, knees bumping against each other.

It's nothing. But it's also everything.

He's missed him so goddamn much. They can't go ten years without seeing each other again. No matter how painful it might be to look and not touch. Steve's too important. He's always been too important.

"Your shop is perfect, Steve," Eddie finally says, waiting on his mug to cool.

"Thanks, Eddie," Steve says, "it's been pretty good. Even in the winter, surprisingly."

"That's great, I'm happy for you," Eddie says, smiling at him. "Why ice cream? Didn't you get enough of slinging it during high school?"

Steve smiles, "You know I make a mean scoop."

And he does. Long, steady strokes with precision. Perfect balls.

Eddie laughs, that sounds dirtier in his head than he meant it to. Years ago, he could have shared that thought out loud, but they aren't in that place together, not anymore.

Steve keeps talking, "I just thought, I can do this better. Better quality, better flavors. Just…better."

"It looks like you definitely did," Eddie says, and he means that.

Steve just shrugs, non-committal. But this is great. If he's been able to package it for retail sale, even just locally, that's really something.

"How's the band doing?" Steve asks, changing the subject. Or not, maybe. Maybe this is just pleasantries. All they have to say to each other, after all these years.

"Good. Good, we've got some great long-standing gigs. Guaranteed slots. We play most nights, somewhere or the other, and don't have to travel to do it," Eddie explains.

"That's great," Steve says.

They both just keep saying how great things are. Things aren't great. Not really.

"I'm happy you guys have made it," Steve adds.

Eddie laughs, "Made it might be a bit of a stretch, but we're working. We all do a lot of session work, Gareth especially. Session drummers are always needed, here or there."

"Do you have another job?" Steve asks, and Eddie knows exactly where this is going.

"No," Eddie still answers.

"Then you've made it, I say. You are a professional musician. Maybe not a famous one-"

"Hey!" Eddie interrupts, just ribbing him. He's right. But Steve often is. He was right to encourage them to take a chance on it. To see if they could make it work. And they have. They are professional musicians. Together, and apart.

"Goodie's got a girlfriend he's getting serious with. I think he's gonna move in with her, soon," Eddie says. "Maybe get married."

Eddie regrets saying it, as soon as it leaves his big mouth.

"I heard you were going to get married. I'm sorry that didn't work out," Eddie says, looking at his hands.

"Thanks, it just wasn't meant to be, you know?" Steve asks.

And, yeah, Eddie knows.

"Do you still live with Gareth?" Steve asks, and Eddie watches as his face tightens, like he regrets asking. Eddie gets it. He'd be too scared to ask, too.

So, Eddie answers fast, putting him out of his misery.

"Yep, I'll never be able to shake that kid," Eddie says, and Steve chuckles.

"You wouldn't want to if you could," Steve says, and that's the truth. He wouldn't. He likes living with Gareth. He isn't lonely. And he's with someone he loves. That's a comfort Eddie wouldn't want to give up even if he could.

It might not be a love like he once shared with Steve, but it's still a love. Platonic with a capital P, as Robin would say.

"Where's Robin?" Eddie asks, once she's popped into his head. Seeing Steve once without Robin might be normal, but twice? No way.

"She's on a Christmas cruise," Steve says, with a grin.

"No fucking way. The Robin I knew would never."

"The Robin you knew wasn't ass over teakettle in love," Steve says, smiling. "I'm happy for her. Even if she left me alone for Christmas. She invited me to come, of course, and I thought third-wheeling it on a ship to Mexico might be fun. And warm, at least. So, I considered it, but one of us needed to stay with the shop."

Eddie thinks he was thisclose to missing Steve on this trip, too. If he'd decided to just close up the shop and go with her.

"Well, good for her. Tell her I said hi," Eddie says.

"I definitely will," Steve says with a smile. "I'm sure she'll say hi back."

Eddie isn't so sure about that. Robin was very against Eddie leaving back then, and wasn't scared to let them all know. She was the only one fighting for them to stay, and she lost, all her protests drowned out by Eddie's need to run.

"Did you have a good Christmas?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, it was quiet. A day off, though, so that was nice," Steve says. "You?"

"Yeah, it was just Wayne and me at the house. But that was good."

"I'm sure he's missed you," Steve says.

"I've definitely missed him," Eddie answers, because he has. More than he realized, maybe.

This is getting too serious, too sad, so Eddie needs to fix that.

"Am I gonna get to try any of this famous ice cream?" Eddie asks, changing the subject to something lighter, and Steve laughs, but jerks his head towards the front of the store.

He picks up one of the little sample spoons, and dips it into a tub, and hands it to Eddie.

"What is it?" Eddie asks.

"Just try it, Munson," Steve says, and Eddie does as he was told.

It's sweet, and chocolate based, but with a depth Eddie can't put his finger on.

"Chocolate Cherry Bourbon," Steve says, and Eddie smiles.

"It's good. Really good," Eddie says. And it is. It's very smooth on the tongue, like the best ice creams all are.

"It's Wayne's favorite, I think," Steve says, and Eddie looks over at him. He never considered that Wayne would still be in contact with Steve on any sort of regular basis. But they still live in the same town, and Wayne didn't break up with Steve. Eddie did.

"But he also likes this one," Steve adds, getting a new little spoonful and offering it up to Eddie.

Eddie puts that one in his mouth, too.

"Oh, shit, that's good," Eddie says, closing his eyes to savor it.

"Butterscotch-Infused Whiskey and Pecans," Steve says.

"An ocean of flavor," Eddie teases, and Steve hip-checks him.

And then Steve gets him another sample, and this one isn't spiked, Eddie doesn't think, anyway. But it's bright red with black and white swirls.

It's a punch of chocolate, deep and rich. And maybe cream cheese? Eddie isn't a professional taste tester. But it's very good.

"Hellfire," Steve says, with a smirk, "hope you don't mind."

Eddie swallows. Of course he doesn't mind. That Steve would even want to name it after something Eddie loved so deeply, is really something.

"Of course I don't mind," Eddie says, handing the used spoon back to Steve and watching as he tosses it in the trash along with the others. "I'm honored. That you'd, you know, think of me. Of Hellfire."

Steve's whole face softens, "Eddie. I think about you all the time."

And Eddie is moving before he's even decided to do it. Pressing his cold lips against Steve's warm ones. Steve catches him and kisses him back, tangling his hand in Eddie's hair. It's desperate, this kiss. Demanding, and pent up, with years of wanting.

Years of waiting.

Eddie clings to him, desperate to be closer to him. Because he is desperate for Steve, there's no denying that.

He always has been.

When they finally, finally break apart, both breathing hard. Chests heaving with the intensity of it all, Eddie smiles. He's embarrassed. But not that embarrassed.

"Wanna get out of here?" Steve asks, and Eddie nods. "You want an ice cream for the road?"

And you know, Eddie does, so he nods again.

So, Steve grabs a waffle cone, and piles it high with a fourth untested flavor, handing it over.

Eddie licks it, and it's pistachio. Eddie's favorite.

"My favorite," Eddie says, and Steve smiles.

"Yeah, I remember," Steve says, and that settles right into Eddie's chest.

Steve reaches into the freezer and turns the little sign that's stuck into the ice cream around, so Eddie can read it: Eddie's Pistachio.

He grins at Steve, and takes another lick. This one with a promise behind it.

Steve helps him put on his coat, trying to help him juggle it and the cone. And when they step onto the street, Steve looks at him, "You drive here?"

Eddie shakes his head. Wayne only lives a couple blocks away, and he figured finding parking would be a bigger hassle than just walking.

Steve puts his hand on the small of Eddie's back, and leads him around the block, and then into the alley. His pickup is parked back there. There's a perk, Eddie supposes. Dedicated parking.

Eddie climbs up in it, and settles in, still licking his ice cream cone. And Steve pulls them onto the street, and away from the parade. Since most of the town is there, the streets are dead. And Eddie looks around, taking in the lights.

Steve knows what he's doing, of course he does, so he steers them into Loch Nora, and lets him look at the rich houses, decorated to the nines. At least that's never changed.

They pass Harrington House, and Eddie wonders if Steve lives there. Or, if his parents still do. Steve reads his mind.

"My mom and dad flew south a few years ago," Steve says, "and by that time I had my own house, so they sold it."

Eddie nods. He knows it's hard to leave your childhood home, permanently. He's done it twice. He's an expert, and it hurts in a way you never expect, and you never really get over. That the place you grew up, isn't yours to call home anymore.

"I'm sorry," Eddie says, and Steve smiles.

"It's okay. I like my house," Steve says. "You want to see it?"

And Eddie swallows. He knows what that offer entails, if he wants it to, and he nods, "Yeah. I do."

"Finish that cone, and we'll do that," Steve says, and it's husky and full of promise.

Eddie licks faster.

They pull up in front of a house in one of the nicer neighborhoods, but not Loch Nora. And Eddie follows Steve up the path, and onto the porch. Once they're inside, Steve pushes his front door closed behind them, grappling for Eddie's coat, trying to strip it off his shoulders, but they're too close to each other. Too tangled, and Eddie laughs.

He helps the process along, shedding it, finally.

And then he's attached to Steve, again. It's desperate, and he should probably be embarrassed, but he's not. He needs this. He needs Steve. He's always needed Steve.

And he lets Steve lead him to his bedroom.

Steve's walking him backwards, kissing him, hands roaming all over Eddie's body.

"Where have you been all my life?" Eddie asks, pressing his face into Steve's neck.

"Right here where you left me," Steve answers, but there's no heat behind it, only the truth.

And Eddie presses his lips to Steve's neck, and smiles when Steve moans under his touch. Eddie loves to know that he can still play him like a goddamn fiddle, it makes him endlessly happy.

Steve kicks open his bedroom door, and pulls his shirt over his head. Eddie follows his lead, and watches as Steve digs in his nightstand, producing a bottle of lube and a row of condoms.

He throws them on the bed, and starts pulling his jeans down.

Fuck, yes.

After, Steve is stroking the back of his hand, legs tangled together, the sheet pooled around their waists. Eddie hasn't been this warm in years. This comfortable. Not since Steve, the first time.

"I know you have a whole life there, and I have a whole life here," Steve says, "but if you want to pretend things are the same, just for a while. Just while you're here. We could. We can, you know. I've missed you."

And Eddie wants.

Wants that more than anything, but he's scared that blundering down the road not taken is just going to hurt more than ever before once they reach that fork at the end, again. That dead end that separates them off, again.

But he's already in this. The damage has been done. So, he turns and smiles. Nodding.

"I've missed you, too."

And the grin Steve gives him is blinding.

"I could be your sweetheart, again, just for the weekend. While you're home," Steve says, like that isn't something that's going to break Eddie's fucking heart.

Eddie gathers up Steve's hand, and pulls it to his chest, his heart.

Steve's been his sweetheart for a long time, together or not.

"You've always been my sweetheart," Eddie says, and it might sound like bullshit, but it's the truth. It's always been the truth.

Steve burrows closer, resting his head on Eddie's chest. Over his heart. He runs his fingers over Eddie's bare stomach, touching the tattoos there. He's gotten a lot more ink since he's seen Steve last, and Steve is touching them all, getting acquainted.

Eddie runs his hand down Steve's arm, pausing at a raised scar under his elbow.

"Oven rack. Decided right then and there that cookies in the shop were a no go," Steve says, laughing a little into Eddie's skin.

"Sounds wise," Eddie says, and he'd kiss the scar if he could reach it. Later. He'll do it later.

The door that was cracked open, pushes open wider, and Eddie just about jumps out of his skin.

"That's just Pudding," Steve says, as a big, fluffy cream colored cat jumps up onto the bed. Then stopping at the foot, looking at Eddie.

Steve laughs, "It's fine, Puddy. C'mere, boy. It's just Eddie."

Like the cat is going to understand that, Eddie thinks, but the cat stomps up Steve's legs, and then steps a tentative paw onto Eddie's bare chest. Eddie reaches out and pets him on head, and the big cat leans into Eddie's touch.

"See? You're already friends," Steve says, and he isn't sure if Steve is talking to him or the cat.

The cat meows, and then hops down, before walking back out the door he'd opened.

Steve curls back up against Eddie, wrapping his arm over his chest.

"You'll still be here in the morning, right?" Steve asks.

"I'll still be here," Eddie promises, and closes his eyes.

And he is, and they sleep in, just lazing in bed all morning. Trading kisses, and blow jobs, and just touching each other all over before Steve has to get up and open the shop. He drops Eddie back off at Wayne's with a goodbye kiss, and Wayne steps out on the porch, and waves. Steve waves back, and Eddie trudges through the snow towards the house. It snowed more overnight, leaving a fresh layer of white all over town.

It looks brand new.

It feels brand new.

Eddie slips past Wayne at the door, "Don't say a word, old man."

"I wouldn't dare," Wayne answers, holding the door open for him.

When the doorbell rings, Eddie's hopeful, for just a second, that it's Steve. But Steve's at work, and Robin's out of the country.

So, it's not Steve, it's just Gareth.

"I tried to call you this morning. Wayne said you didn't come home last night," Gareth says, slightly snippy.

He pushes past Eddie, already hanging up his coat. Eddie guesses he's staying.

"So, I take it you two talked," Gareth says, finally looking at Eddie.

"Yeah, we talked," Eddie says.

"And fucked?" Gareth asks, and Eddie isn't going to be shamed by this kid.

"And fucked. What of it?"

"Was just trying to gauge how bad the cleanup from this was gonna be. So, bad, right?"

Eddie shrugs. He doesn't think so. It doesn't feel bad right now, but maybe it will when the weekend ends, and he's back in L.A., without Steve, again.

"We were just two old friends, having some casual sex," Eddie says, knowing it's a lie even as it rolls off his tongue.

Gareth laughs, "You and I are old friends. And we don't have casual sex with each other."

"Did you want to? You never said," Eddie teases, and Gareth shoves his shoulder.

Eddie smiles at him, then decides to be honest, "You know what I mean. It's comfortable, with Steve. With someone you know that well, even if a lot of time has passed. It was just like riding a bike."

"Eddie…"

"Gareth…" Eddie mocks, then softens, "I'm a big boy. I know what I've done."

"I hope so," Gareth says, digging around in Wayne's fridge, then moving to the freezer.

"And you're already buying his fancy-ass ice cream, you're just asking to suffer," Gareth says, plucking a tub out of the freezer.

"Those aren't mine, and Wayne's a dirty liar," Eddie laughs. "He gave me some the other night, and I asked if it was Steve's, and he said no."

"Well, it is from the Dairy King himself," Gareth says, popping off the lid of a bright purple container, peeling back the foil seal, and getting a spoon. "You want?"

Eddie lets Gareth feed him a spoonful, and it's good. They've all been good so far, but Eddie's not really surprised.

He turns the container in Gareth's hand so he can read the label: Lavender Berry.

"Are you gonna give me shit about this?" Eddie asks, and Gareth just looks at him. Shoving another spoonful in his mouth.

Then, Gareth looks away, and that's not the reaction Eddie was expecting.

"What?" Eddie asks.

"You are coming home with us, right? Back to L.A.?" Gareth asks, not looking at him.

Eddie reaches forward and squeezes both of his shoulders, "Yes, I'm going home with you. I promise."

Gareth nods, but doesn't really look like he believes him, and Eddie understands why.

Wayne comes in later and nods at them.

"I owe you some ice cream," Gareth says, and Wayne just nods again.

Wayne just doesn't get too worked up about things like that. He knew Eddie was home. Anything in house would be fair game to eat, as far as Wayne would remember.

"So, I thought that ice cream the other night wasn't Steve's?" Eddie asks, eyeing Wayne as he stands by his edge of the couch.

"Steve's? You never asked if it was Steve's, you asked if it was you know's and it sure wasn't," Wayne says, with just a hint of a smirk.

"You're an asshole, old man."

"Learned it from you," Wayne says back, and pops Eddie on the head with the newspaper he has in his hand.

Eddie grins up at him

Steve turns up again, after his shop has closed for the evening, and while they didn't have plans, Eddie was waiting on him. Steve has a brown paper sack, and opens the freezer and starts refilling it.

"Gareth stopped by earlier, said he owed Wayne some ice cream," Steve says, replacing a purple pint container just like the one Gareth had eaten, and then several others.

Eddie picks up a green one: Eddie's Pistacho.

It's a love letter, and one Steve probably assumed Eddie would never read.

"He didn't owe him that much ice cream," Eddie teases, and Steve laughs.

"Some are from me. I try to keep him stocked up," Steve says, and Eddie loves him for that. He loves him for lots of things, but especially that he's still stayed in contact with Wayne while Eddie was gone.

Wayne's out at his usual bar with his friends, and Steve settles onto the couch with Eddie, draping arm over Eddie's shoulders. It looks casual, but it's not. Eddie knows better, but he doesn't care, and he leans into Steve's side.

They hadn't made plans, but Eddie had still expected him. He thinks they're gonna just gonna act like nothing has changed, for these couple days. He's okay with that, okay with anything he can get.

Steve is scratching his blunt nails against Eddie's jeans, and it's driving Eddie a little crazy.

"Want to go out and eat, or…" Steve trails off.

"Anything is good with me," Eddie answers, and that's true.

Steve gets up and starts going through Wayne's cabinets, and watching him, Eddie is certain it's not the first time he's been in this house, in that kitchen. Wayne has never mentioned that, but Eddie understands why he didn't.

"We could make pancakes?" Steve offers, and Eddie nods.

It's just a box mix, but they stand together, and watch each pancake brown and bubble in the old cast iron pan. Steve's putting butter down to melt before spooning each one into the hot skillet. They're thick and fluffy, and when they sit down at the bar to eat them, they are pretty damn good for being from a box.

Eddie doesn't cook all that much with their weird, late hours, and Gareth doesn't either, so they rely on delivery and take-out a lot more than they should. They could make pancakes from a box. Maybe they should, more often. Get his own cast iron pan, and grow up, maybe.

After they've eaten, they do the dishes, side-by-side, and one thing leads to another, and they push and pull each other into Eddie's bedroom, not stopping until they're sprawled out on the bed, Steve on top of him.

Eddie cups Steve's face, and Steve leans into his touch, turning his face until he can press a kiss into Eddie's palm.

And that's…everything. The dam between has not only sprung a leak, it's now rushing out full speed, wide open.

"Sweetheart," Eddie says, and Steve closes his eyes, just leaning into Eddie's touch.

"I still love you, Eddie," Steve says, eyes still closed.

And Eddie grips his hip with his other hand, "I still love you, too."

Then Steve presses down, grinding their bodies together, and it's like no time has passed. Like he's still twenty-two, and madly in love with his boy.

No, now he's thirty-two, and madly in love with this man.

They're cuddled up on the couch, watching television, when Wayne comes home.

"Night, boys," Wayne says as he passes through, heading on to bed.

"Well, I should go," Steve says, standing.

Eddie stands with him.

"You can stay, you know," Eddie says, and Steve nods. They fly out tomorrow. He wants Steve to stay. Or he'll go home with Steve. Whatever Steve wants. He wants one more night with him, however he can get it.

And Steve walks to the guest room, so Eddie follows. The sheets are still a tangled mess from earlier, and he's sure Wayne noticed as he walked by. Eddie doesn't care, and he knows that Wayne doesn't either.

Eddie didn't pack a lot of clothes, but he rummages through what he has, and throws Steve a t-shirt and a pair of boxers.

Steve holds them, and smiles back at him.

They get ready for bed, and then curl up together under the quilt. Hands and mouths wandering, as they whisper promises to each other in the dark that Eddie hopes they can keep.

When the sun peeks through the curtains, Eddie groans. He's not ready. He wasn't ready the first time, and he's definitely not ready now. They eat breakfast with Wayne, sitting around the kitchen table, drinking coffee, just talking. After Wayne goes to work, hugging Eddie goodbye until next time, they take a shower together, and Eddie memorizes every inch of Steve's body. Every new mole, every new scar. The fact that he has even thicker chest hair than he had, before.

Eddie wants to remember it all.

There's a horn honking out front, and it's the band, ready to go. Eddie's not ready. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

He hugs Steve a little longer, before the honking becomes too much to ignore. Wayne's neighbors are gonna get pissed.

Eddie opens the front door to acknowledge them, and none of them seem surprised to see Steve following him out of the house. He supposes Gareth told them, or Steve's truck in the drive gave it away.

Steve leans in, hugging Eddie again, pressing their lips together, before breaking apart. Steve leans his face close to Eddie's, "It was nice to be your sweetheart again."

And Eddie wants to cry, might just do it.

He cups Steve's cheek, "You're always gonna be my sweetheart."

"Can we-"

"Eddie, c'mon! We're gonna miss our flight!" Goodie screams from the backseat, interrupting Steve. A broken record, that one.

Steve has him pressed against the side of the car, but Eddie manages to get his hand behind him, flipping Goodie off through the window. He feels the window coming down, and he snatches his hand back before Goodie crushes his hand, or bites his fingers. Something unpleasant, for sure.

Eddie pushes off the car, still kissing Steve, still pressed close together.

When they finally break apart, Eddie rests his forehead on Steve's.

"We're gonna make this work, right?" Eddie asks. "For longer than the weekend?"

And Steve nods.

"I gotta go now," Eddie says, even if he doesn't want to. Not at all. "But I'd rather stay with you. You know that, right? I'm not running from you. Not again."

"I know. Call me when you get home," Steve says.

"I will," Eddie promises.

"I'll come see you next month," Steve promises, and Eddie squeezes him harder.

"Eddie!" Jeff yells, and Eddie knows that's his actual cue. If Jeff's getting involved, they actually are running late.

"I love you, sweetheart," Eddie says, "I've always loved you."

"I've always loved you, too," Steve echoes, and Eddie kisses him one more time.

And then they're driving away, Steve in the rearview mirror, just like he was a decade ago.

Only, this time, he's smiling and waving.

Eddie leans out of the passenger window, and winter air is freezing, but he looks back, waves, and blows Steve a kiss.

He can't see the details of Steve's face, not from this far, but he sees his hands in his pockets, and how he rocks backwards on his heels. And Eddie can read that body language, perfectly, even all these years later.

He's laughing.

Eddie slides back into his seat, and he smiles, pulling his hair over his mouth.

"Jesus Christ," Goodie mumbles, and Eddie tosses his head back and laughs. Gareth reaches over and pats him on the thigh, and Eddie turns and smiles at him, and Gareth is smiling back.

"Hey, sweetheart," Eddie says, wedging the phone against his ear as he's unpacking his suitcase.

"Hey, honey," Steve says, and Eddie can hear the smile on his face. "Your flight okay?"

"Uneventful. Except Goodie acting like a big ol' baby. He's thirty years old and still scared to fly. He's ridiculous. We haven't crashed yet," Eddie teases and Steve laughs.

"Be nice," Steve tells him, and Eddie laughs. Impossible. If they weren't making fun of each other, something would really be wrong. "Robin's home. She's mad she missed the big reunion."

"Well, she should haven't decided to go on a Christmas cruise," Eddie says.

"That's what I said!" Steve hollers, and Eddie can hear Robin in the background scrabbling for the phone.

"Hey, dingus número dos" she says.

"Hey, Buckley," Eddie says, "sorry I missed you."

"Yeah, yeah, I bet you are," she says, like she's threatening. She's not threatening. Well, not too threatening. "You better listen to me, Munson. If you hurt him-"

"I know, I know," Eddie says, "I'm in to win it, Buckley."

"You better be," she says, and then she lowers her voice to a whisper, "I've missed you, too, you know."

"Back at you, Robbie," he says.

"Do I get to come visit with Steve?" she asks, and Eddie smiles.

"Any time you want to," he promises.

"I'll hold you to that," she assures, "I'll just want until you've got all the fucking out of your system."

"That's never gonna happen," Eddie says, and she laughs.

"I'm happy for him, and for you, too. Took you long enough," she says.

He laughs.

They've been in this thing, alone and apart. Now, they're gonna be in it, together and apart. Hopefully not forever, but this is an improvement, that's for goddamn sure.

"How was your cruise with your lady love?" Eddie asks, and Robin laughs.

"It was great," she says, and tells him all about it, and then she pauses for a long few seconds, and Eddie wonders if the call has dropped, but then she's speaking again, softly, "We should all go together, next year."

"Count me in," Eddie says easily, "now, put my sweetheart back on."

And Robin says bye and does just that.

"Hi, it's me again," Steve says, and Eddie couldn't be happier.

Him again is the dream.

And Eddie listens as Steve talks about his newest flavor idea, and Eddie can't wait to try it the next time he's back home. He doesn't know what their long-term plan looks like, just that they're gonna do this life thing together for a while. See what happens.

They didn't do so hot flying solo, so he's definitely ready to try it as partners again. Now that they're both older. Now that they both know what they want, and who they love.

It's gonna work out this time, Eddie can feel it.

And he smiles, Steve's voice in his ear.

Notes: I know this song has been done roughly a million times in every fandom. But it was on the song list for a reason. Because it's a damn good fic prompt. So, more cake? I hope.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiemas and follow along! 🍨

If you want to see more of my entries from this challenge, they are in my Steddiemas tag right here!

#steddiemas #winter-themed songs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things fic #thisapplepielife: short fic #thisapplepielife: steddiemas #gareth (stranger things)#jeff stranger things #goodie (unnamed freak)#corroded coffin boys #gareth & eddie #steddie fic #christmas fic #'tis the damn season

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