#sometimes i like to imagine this stuff in clear enough detail that it actually makes me uncomfortable enough to turn on the light
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My neighbor upstairs runs an Airbnb out of his apartment, which has led to many interesting and exciting situations for me. Well, I say ‘exciting’, mostly I mean ‘inconvenient’ and sometimes ‘hilarious.’
Last month I discovered that, while I on the ground floor have a one-bedroom with a tiny office, my upstairs neighbor has 4 bedrooms on two floors that he rents by himself for about a billion US dollars, so it makes perfect sense that he would run an Airbnb, to recoup some of his costs. I imagine it takes a strength of character when you live in an Airbnb, because personally, I don’t want people in my house. That’s why I moved to my own place at 36; I’d had enough. My only roommates now are two very attractive and high-quality felines, who will be introduced in more detail in a later blog post.
Anyway, the Airbnb. The first thing I noticed once this started was that I was constantly jumping whenever someone was coming through the front gate and tromping up the stairs, which was frequent. This is due to my anticipation of my many online purchases. (I purchase many things online because 1) it’s fun to receive things in the mail and 2) I don’t like to leave my house—there’s weather out there, and also bugs.) So: many comings and goings and creakings of the gate.
The second thing I noticed occurred one day when I heard some rattling outside my door. That’s odd, I thought, I’m not expecting any guests. Actually, my thought process was more like Aaaaaa, someone’s trying to break into my apartment! (My upstairs neighbor had been robbed a couple months prior, so this was a totally rational and normal and not-overreactive thing to panic about.) I am Extremely Brave™ (No.), so I went to the door and opened it to discover a hapless traveler with a large rolling suitcase attempting to open the lockbox I hung outside my door. Much relieved, I informed the traveler that the lockbox he was looking for was upstairs.
(Sidenote about the lockbox: I hung it up shortly after moving in because of the time I locked myself out. I was trying this cool thing called “Carrying stuff in my pockets like a dude” due to extreme gender dysphoria, and I left my keys inside my apartment. My landlord was kind enough to charge me $25 to unlock my door, and I ordered the lockbox as soon as I got inside. $25! ::snarling noises::)
The third point of excitement occurred late one night when a knock came at my door around 11:30pm. At the door stood an older butch woman who had run into the same problem as I had: she’d locked her keys inside the apartment, in this case the Airbnb. Unable to get in contact with my neighbor, she was trapped outside. I volunteered to text him and in exchange she offered me a beer. I feel guilty about not offering to let her kip on my air mattress, but, as previously stated, I don’t like to have people in my house.
Finally we come to the real issue of neighboring an Airbnb: too-generous guests. This sounds counterintuitive, so let me explain. As I mentioned, I like to receive packages in the mail so I can open presents I ordered for myself. However, due to Chicago being weird (in my experience as a former Bostonian), my ground floor apartment being a “1” and the upstairs apartment being a “2” is apparently unusual. Typically, I’ve been told, “1” is upstairs. So despite the very clear and large numeral “2” on my neighbor’s mailbox, everyone likes to deliver my stuff up the stairs. The too-nice Airbnb-ers see these packages and say to themselves, Aha! A package for my host! and without checking the name on the package, helpfully carry them inside and lock the door. I am left bereft, knowing my package has arrived but unable to access, for instance, a box of lightbulbs (listen, I know. Adults get excited about the weirdest things).
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This one is from Bodleian MS 764, aka the "Bodley Bestiary". This is actually a pretty nice bestiary; it's one of the ones with a wide selection of animals and some fairly elaborate illustrations. Yes, this illustration looks silly, but it's relatively large, detailed, and technically well-executed. Also I think that background is gold leaf. According to the listing at the Bodleian Library, it was made sometime between 1226 and 1250.
I go on a bit in this post, so I'll go ahead and put a cut here.
I do actually have access to a print translation of this one, so I can tell you that the description reads:
The scorpion is a land worm: it belongs with worms rather than serpents; it is armed with a sting; and it gets its name from Greek, because it stings with its tail and spreads its poison in a gaping wound. The scorpion has this property, that it stings the palm of the hand.
And then there's like three times as much text describing the scorpion's religious symbolism.
So let's look at this critter. At base, this is a pretty regular quadruped, apparently about the size of a cat if the hand is meant to be proportional. The perspective is odd; I'm not sure if this is just a highly-stylized top-down view or if it's actually meant to be hanging off that plant like some sort of demented flag.
There are a couple unusual things to point out. First, that's a weird quasi-human face, which I'd like to credit to the whole "scorpions have faces like virgins" thing, but I'm pretty sure it's actually just the artistic style. To support that claim, gaze upon the face of the Bodley Bestiary lion:
Second, I think this is the only scorpion so far I've seen drawn actually in the process of stinging someone, which is great, but the artist has decided to show this as a rigid spine going clear through a person's hand. Wild.
Third, and probably most important, what is that body shape? Where did that come from? I kind of wonder if the artist somehow had a concept of the scorpion as being low to the ground with a body wider than it is tall but knew virtually nothing else about them. It's kind of hard to interpret what's going on -- like, the silhouette is reminiscent of a horseshoe crab, but it can't possibly be a shell, because the legs are on the wrong side. If we interpret it as a shell, or as just like a weirdly bulky ventral portion, we have to ask how the hell this animal is meant to walk, because it clearly is wide enough to impede its legs. Look at that picture... here, I'll put it in again so you don't have to scroll up.
The legs are posed sticking out perpendicular to the spine here. Imagine this critter putting them down to walk. If that's a solid mass of any kind, it means that in order to move, it would have to keep its... knees? ankles? leg joints bent at a ninety-degree angle the entire time so its own body wouldn't get in the way. Like a turtle whose legs stuck out the top of its shell for some reason. I just don't think it works. The only way I can make sense of it is the one I jokingly suggested in the original post, where those are skin flaps like a flying squirrel. (This is complicated by the fact that the artist is unlikely to have ever seen a flying squirrel any more than they would have seen a scorpion, since the only species in Europe doesn't seem to reach even close to England... but look, I don't know what they were thinking. Bats, maybe.)
anyway. Points!
Small Scuttling Beaſtie? not that small, and whatever method of locomotion is happening here, i hesitate to call it a "scuttle", ✘
Pincers? ✘
Exoskeleton or Shell? friggin... maybe? my official position is no, but benefit of the doubt, ½
Visible Stinger? visible and actively stinging, ✔
Limbs? 4
And I have to say something here. This is a quadruped. And the way it's colored makes it look like it might be furry. I was considering this. And then... let's zoom in.
Those little details on the head there... okay, the two on either end are clearly the ears, but the stuff between the ears? You tell me there's a more plausible explanation than tufts of hair. Which... you know what that means?
🎉🎉🎉
That's a mammal!
🎉🎉🎉
Sorry, buddy, it's probably in bad taste to celebrate you getting a penalty, but I genuinely thought I was never going to use that one.
I'm not penalizing the resemblance to a flying squirrel, though, because like. I think it's unlikely that's what the author was basing this on. Case of convergent evolution.
Anyhow, -1. I think this is our first penalty for a reason other than wings. (By which I mean it definitely is, but I'm leaving the possibility open that something else shows up in the period between when I'm writing this and when I'm scheduling it to post.)
As for the vibes of this week's critter, I think it's charming in a way, but unsettling in enough ways that I want to keep my distance even for non-stabbing-related reasons. I'll give it a 4/5, on the assumption that those are skin flaps and not something else. Because if this is doing the reverse-turtle thing, that's bad vibes and the score would go down.
Total:
4.4 / 10
Whoever is being stabbed on the left there seems real nonchalant about it.
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Cashier turned babysitter toji drabble had me going crazy in my head and i aint even a writer but i wanna write a story for this but holy shit i cannot do that so i made like lil bullet points to share with u, it would be like such a sweet slow fluffy burn
• Toji decides that having a babysitter would be pretty convenient, especially one that can see the chaos that can be found in his life and accept it (his dogs completely ruining the shop)
• Reader wants to start right away cause money. Bills aint gonna pay themselves
• Reader doesnt have alot of experience with kids but tries she best with megumi, and loves to see the dogs
• Would eventually realize something kinda funky going on like how these damn dogs popping out from mid air and shit but she doesnt wanna talk about it cause what if it compromises the money
• Relationship grows with toji, megumi and the dogs
• After a long while one time after megumi was put to bed, toji came back late and kinda wounded and bloody and hes like yea im good but readers like hmmmm no u aint that aimt normallll, she aint like experienced with treating injuries but tries her best to help him
• Maybe he'd like tell her more about their life and sorcery or his line of work, maybe only small details but enough for reader to get a picture
• I'd like to think that the story still goes mostly with the plot but with toji being way more involved with megumi like an actual dad
• He'd still take the job to kill riko but reader would get a bad feeling in their gut about him leaving and would try to make him stay or take a different offer
• He would still refuse and the story would carry on as usual with him fighting geto + gojo and killing riko
• But i dunno man maybe reader got toji on fucking Life360 or something and tracks his ass down before gojo and toji rematch start going down. Begging gojo to spare the guy cause hey he was just doing a job u should be going after the one who hired him.
• Somehow someway it fucking works yippie
• Megumi probably still goes to jujutsu high and gets mentored by gojo beforehand cause like i dunno interested in the son of the guy who managed to kinda beat him. I wanna think their dynamic stays the same cause its cute and wholesome seeing sorta-dad gojo
• Toji and reader get to have lovely romance and eventually reader moves in and megumis once babysitter becomes his step mom and they live happily together
If you ever made a part 2 or continuation of that lil drabble i would comburst from happiness. I adore ur writing and how you characterize the characters and protray them.
firstly, you can always write!! even if you don’t think you’re good, if you wanna write you should :p it’s a skill that you build and no one is perfect when they start 🩵
secondly, I LOVE THIS!! i will admit though that i’m not a toji fan so a part 2 is unlikely but i love this idea 🥹 reader sticking around despite the awfully strange things happening because they need the money, and megumi has taken quite the liking to them as well so they’d feel bad just up and leaving. it’s clear that the kid doesn’t have him mom around, and he might be compensating for that by latching onto you, but you don’t really mind it, and toji hasn’t voiced anything against it so you just go with the flow.
megumi is a nice enough kid, too, even though he sometimes does the weirdest things with his hands — you guess it’s some type of signal, because it time he does it, his dogs seemingly spring up from out of nowhere and go rushing over to him.
once megumi starts developing his technique more and things start getting harder to write off, i imagine toji would very briefly mention all of the sorcerer and jujutsu stuff to you, just enough to assure you that you’re not losing your mind and are the only one seeing ugly, goblin-like creatures lingering around.
he doesn’t tell you about his job, but you’re a snoop and he doesn’t exactly do a great job at hiding all his sensitive information in the house. you don’t approve of it, obviously, but as the saying goes, out of sight out of mind. he did it before you came, and he’ll likely still continue to do it even with you voicing your distaste for his employment.
i feel like reader might somehow get wind of the riko thing, and they choose then to cut ties with toji. they had held on so long because of megumi, but also because they had (begrudgingly) actually come to maybe possibly like toji, but just a tad bit, nothing serious!
anyways fast forward and gojo does him dirty LMAO but maybe he only loses his arm. and yeah, he’s strong enough to keep doing what he does with his limitation… but he thinks he’d rather keep you by his side instead, so he hangs up his weapons.
megumi goes the sorcerer route, scouted by none other than gojo, and at first gojo had done it to get under toji’s skin. rub a bit of salt in the wound, but then he comes to care for megumi as well, and it’s not uncommon for you break up potential fights between the two men when gojo dubs himself as ‘megumi’s better, cooler, hotter father’, seemingly uncaring that he’s labeled himself as toji’s husband
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♡ Eddie Munson random headcanons ♡
Random headcanons - in some of them the reader is mentioned and it can be read as gender neutral, romantic or platonic. (No use of Y/N)
Contents and warnings: nothing really :) maybe a little bity if fluff. (664 words)
A/N: i’ve been collecting these in my journal in the past few days, beacuse yes, sometimes i write by hand about a man in my journal like an infatuated 19th century woman! Some are quite long, more like short drabbles. (English is not my first language so be kind :))
Eddie loves when his friends and partner give him drawings or little notes. He acts cool when he gets them, because they're often for the d&d campaign or they’re simple christmas cards, but then reads them when he’s alone in his room, smiling to himself. He keeps them in a shoebox and hangs up on his walls the drawings he likes most. (OMG if he ever met Will! !! Aaaahhh)
THRIFT KING. He spends the money he makes by dealing on music gear, so he has a limited budget for stuff like clothes. He's been doing it for a while now so he has a precise itinerary of thrift stores around Hawkins, fidelity cards, and all. He even once did that thing of hiding a jacket he wanted between other clothes and came back the next day with enough money to buy it. When he comes back, he puts on a little fashion show for you and explains in detail how he’s going to modify the clothes to match his style. (We’ve all seen those pictures of Joseph Quinn trying the different versions of the costume. That's the vibe. Chaos basically. )
Every Christmas and birthday he gets his uncle a new hat and has been since he was in elementary school. It turned into a tradition and now uncle Wayne proudly displays his collection in the trailer living room (you can actually see them in the show in the background and in that backstage tour of the van)
When he’s having a tough day, he goes to skull rock with his walkman and/or a book. He likes the walk from and to his house the most, it’s an opportunity to clear his mind and spend some time alone. He's been doing it for a few years and more than once he had to go back home because the spot was already taken by a couple. He didn’t know him personally yet, but at least twice the rock was occupied by Steve and the girl he was going out with at that time.
He read in a magazine that some metal band members use women’s perfume as an act of rebellion and provocation. So, he bought one and wears it, hoping that if anyone smells it they think it rubbed off a girl he was with, instead of making fun of him.
Asks you to help him collect bottle caps, can tabs and safety pins to make diy pins. He always makes an extra few to give you as a thank you.
Kind of an arsonist, out of curiosity though. He just has to set fire to different small objects and materials. He knows they will just burn but what if this time something else happens, doesn’t even think about how the something else might be something dangerous, like a small explosion or toxic fumes.
He has an ever-changing, but very detailed list of tattoos and piercings to get in the future. Yes, it includes at least one nipple piercing and a tramp stamp. He says it's not a tramp stamp, but the position and design say otherwise.
His weirdly specific childhood interest was Norse mythology. He still remembers some very specific events and details and adapts them to put in the D&D campaigns. Just imagine the joy of little Eddie learning there was a god of mischief!? It took him a while to spell mischief correctly but he got there.
When you spend the night at his and have breakfast together, he insists on doing stupid stuff, and you have to go along even if you’re still waking up. You have to throw him cheerios, because it’s fundamental to know how many he can catch with his mouth at 9 in the morning on a Friday. And you have to pour him maple syrup on the pancakes, and also directly in his mouth still full of cereals, because he doesn’t want to get his fingers sticky.
Eddie hates the feeling of stepping on anything like sand, grass or rocks barefoot, so when you go to Lovers' lake, he jumps on strangers' towels on his way to and from the water.
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson headcanons#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson x gender neutral reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson stranger things#stranger things#eddie munson fic#stranger things headcanons#stranger things fic#eddie munson fanfiction#stranger things fanfiction
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PLEASE tell me about your Robin headcanons, I'm so curious now.
oh beans i didn't expect a response to my meme! (i mean, it has happened before but my answer was a bit undercooked) normally i'd say my headcanons are cringe and try not to talk about them but THIS TIME i am excited to indulge, mainly to have them written down on my art page :> this may end up being a long boy answer lol
(as a brief preamble, i've pretty much been building off of these robin headcanons since like, middle school or so (at least 5 years) for my smash fanfiction. while the amount of Stuff i've imagined for them might make them a bit different from their original characters, the context of awakening is what prevents me from turning them into full-on oc's)
anyway. i'm not responsible for any damages this may induce. the actual hcs will be under the cut
Both of them
so to start out, both the female and male variants are separate entities rather than like, alternate dimension counterparts. in fact, they're siblings (reeaally starting a bit out there i know). for reference, the girl (younger of the two) is named reflect (a misreading of the japanese name i grew attached to. it is what it is) while the boy is just robin. this is why i usually try drawing them with different clothes so they don't look like clones of each other lol. i like to think some aspects like the shirt and the black robe and tall brown boots are staples of the "tactician" uniform to explain any similarities.
neither have amnesia (since i just.. don't like the trope that much + i wanted to have them remember and reflect on their upbringing y'know). robin is actually a regular, normal blooded dude (which is why i don't really depict him in an evil grima-possessed form). reflect on the other hand did have grima's blood, which tipped off the grimleal in hopes to resurrect grima. however, much like the original awakening story, reflect's mama took her away out of fear of what the grimleal would do to her in pursuit of their goals. due to circumstances that i haven't fully figured out yet, robin was left behind and was raised by daddy dearest validar. reflect was raised by her mama and unaware of the grimleal or that she even had a brother/father at all.
a fairly old but still good ref of their differences. i definitely took a lot of liberties with reflect obviously (i REALLLLY like robin's original design, main reason why i got so attached to the character, so i kept it pretty true to the original with some details i dont like redrawing sanded off). a lot of design elements developed over the years and came from various sources.
(strap thingies on the side were based on cipher art, stockings are based on heroes art of f!morgan, cloak is partially inspired by the grandmaster design (albeit heavily simplified), shorts... i just thought looked cool, blah blah)
ok enough rambling, time to ramble about them individually
Robin
if it wasn't clear by how i'd often draw robin with a tired/exhausted look on his face, he isn't exactly the most high-energy guy :p he's jaded and sometimes a bit of an asshole to people he doesn't know. pretty unapproachable generally. i hope the fact he was raised by validar would explain why. i imagine validar was particularly bitter about the grima vessel slipping out of his grasp and took some of that out on his remaining child.
his strict upbringing helped him become very proficient in tactics and magic as expected... but also a bit reclusive and not much of a people person. he'd travel around after being sick of validar's shit, which is how he crosses paths with chrom. chrom basically takes him in and lets him work as a tactician for the shepherds, which is an act that causes robin to become very attached and loyal to chrom. i'd say he's an established member for a few years before the events of awakening.
he's kind of unathletic (very skinny bastard) and probably has redditor posture (inspired by how slow of a runner he is in smash bros). magic is much more his "asset" ;) his sword game is mid if he's not wielding the levin sword.
he remains single to the end of awakening's campaign, but historians note he was "really good friends" with chrom (he is attracted to men lol. specifically chrom. but then chrom gets married which complicates things 🥴).
Reflect
in comparison to her male counterpart, she's much more free-spirited and bubbly. she's chill and great at making friends, a bit more accurate to the original. she was also raised to be a tactician, though she is comparatively still a novice. still, she's a quick and enthusiastic learner. i also imagine her to be kind of a risky thrill-seeker.
when she leaves her small community to explore the world, she comes across the burning village in awakening's first chapter, which is how she crosses paths with chrom. she joins his gang to further her learning as a tactician and to make some friends yeeaa!! (i haven't written as much about her as i make mrobin 😛)
she later marries chrom and becomes the mother of lucina.
I sometimes draw her with red hair tied in a black bow-- that's related to some non-fe fanfic stuff that is too convoluted and cringe for this already lengthy and cringe post. but it's an alternate look for her i think is kind of cute 😊
~~~
hopefully that's a sufficient enough answer, my brain always gets really scattered whenever i have to elaborate my robin hcs to someone else. i get a bit self-concious about them because i think i'm so far off-base with their original characters (but can't oc-ify them with some elements being based in the world/story of awakening) that i'll become like. public enemy of the greater robin community. but i know that's a bit ridiculous, so i let loose here as a means to get these many thoughts somewhere on my art page as a reference for when i draw these fellas in the future :)
there's also the separate tangent of their offspring, the morgans (or morgan being the girl, and marc being the boy) but this post is long enough as is so i'll just leave it there :,)
#not art#asks#fe#fire emblem#fe awakening#fire emblem awakening#robin#m!robin#f!robin#robin fire emblem#will tag the robin/fe tags for page organization since this post is a little old now#hope this doesnt fall in the wrong hands haha
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@seeingteacupsindragons
" I hope you don't mind me breaking that ask up into smaller chunks to respond to instead of actually answering the ask in my inbox. Sometimes people send me really long things, and then I know having it on my blog and then having to read my probably accordingly long answer is not going to happen, and I just. Feel bad about it."
Mind? Hell no. I'm honoured that you've decided to give me the time of the day at all. It is completely fine with me and thank you for letting me konw. Next time ill make sure to post on my blog and just tag you.
"Tiadane's not actually a boy; this is made clear relatively early on, and he's not picky about pronouns because his home doesn't have a good concept of things like "gender" and "lots of gendered pronouns." I tend to alternate what I use for him when not in the book, and even in the book he shrugs off a couple "she's." And there's actually not any romance in that one; Tiadane and my deuteragonist's relationship is platonically weird in that one. I don't always like writing romance, but I usually have a deuteragonist running around because I just like paired character dynamics a lot."
I'm really sorry for just asssuming Tiadane to be a guy. On the other hand I love when fantasy worlds explore cultures that dont have the same understanding of gender as us. I feel it isnt done enough and where it is atempted its never done with the enough care.
Also when I said 'relationships' I didn't mean them as explicit romantic ones. I'm a big fan of interesting dynamics and I dont believe they always have to be romantic to get me interested. There are so many ways humans interact with one another. That is whats most facinating to me.
"I'm actually not super great at worldbuilding, either. I tend to do it as little as possible and only when I need to; a lot of my current revisions are fleshing the worldbuilding out. And now that I'm focusing on, a lot of the results are good, but it's often just sort of not really the most fun focus for me. "
I'm also not an intricate world builder and cant even imagine going to the flora and fauna level of detail. My points of interest in world building is societities. How they function different from our and how they effect the people living in it accordingly. I build my worlds around my characters becaude i also feel that a fleshed out world only gives more depth to the characters.
Glad to know your world building is going well. I cant even imagine the revisions i have to make one i finish first draft as ive completely given up ingraining the magic system as part of the characters perspective and how it effects their thing cause it was gettjng to complicated. So i will now have to add all of that stuff later on.
"What I shared was actually the query; queries and synopses are different in the publishing word. Basically, my query is supposed to sell people on making it sound interesting, so I'm glad it's working for those functions for now. It still needs to be edited some more later. "
Oh I didnt know that. Still new to all the publishing jargon but always happy to learn more.
"Tiadane's book originally came from playing too much Smash Bros and staring at Pit for too many hours in a row. And then I just typed some random shit to get some words out when I was stuck revising something and not having fun, and started writing this introduction to his world."
I love how we writers get ideas from the most rediculous of senarios.
"I am a very character-focused writer and have had recurring problems with getting a plot to attach correctly over the years. I think Tiadane's book is the first time I didn't have (too) many issues with one by the time I sent to to a CP, and I'm still ripping a lot out to replace it with something better. "
I also write character focused works. Characters are why i read books. I dont reallyenjoy plot heavy books. Every aspect of plot, fleshing out the world or magic i enjoy because it makes tge characters feel more real and elps highlights the themes if the book.
"Each of my fantasy worlds (I also write sci-fi sometimes, and some stuff just...set in our world) has its own magic system. I don't know how writers just have The One for tons of stories. Large universes to play in can be fun, but so is making up new stuff every time."
Also, would you mind telling me about your magic systems? I love that stumm. It facinates me how maging systems ingrain themselves into a story. When i was first materializing my story it was set in a normal world but my mund was like: no no no this story need a magic system and an exploration of the chosen one narrative even though back then it didnt have anything to do with the main plot. But thats me cause i love over complicating thing for myself.
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𝙄𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣
[ 𝙍𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨, 𝘿𝙉𝙄, 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙇𝙞𝙨𝙩 ]
𝙍𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨:
Be respectful. It’s not that hard.
Blank blogs get blocked — tired of having to tell people to get a pfp. You wanna continue to read my stuff? Let me know you’re an actual person.
Characters with a ✶ are canonically underage. I will write for them but only for fluff. Both reader and requested character will be high school age.
Different characters have different rules depending on their canon gender or sexuality.
My comfort level with writing things for different characters varies; anybody with a ☾ means I’m more inclined to write for them.
Strikethroughs are for characters I’m not currently writing for atm.
If you have a more detailed request you are more than welcome to leave it in my dms. Tbh my dms are open for anything, come say hi.
Spam like/reblog friendly! I find them endearing!
Ask questions if you’re not sure. My nickname may be Jaws but I really don’t bite.
I used to write smut but I don’t anymore. Any requests for 18+ content will immediately be trashed.
For the love of god: no female-aligned readers interacting on my MLM fics. It’s fucking weird and fetishistic.
I do not give permission for my works to be reposted, copied, edited, used for videos, OR to be fed to any kind of AI software. My works are only available on this page and, eventually, my AO3 under the same name. All stories and ideas are my own unless stated otherwise. If you’re interested in translating my works to another language, please contact me first.
By making a request or interacting with my fics, you have agreed to the rules of my blog and acknowledge that I am at liberty to block if I see fit. Be a nice person and we shouldn’t have any issues.
𝙔𝙚𝙨!
Angst - fluff - mix - etc
One shots, headcanons, imagines, blurbs, series*
Platonic pairings/fics
Poly trios*
AMAB - AFAB - NonDescriptive!Reader
Transmasc - Non-Conforming - Non-Binary!Reader
Kinks*
Blood and gore
Body horror*
Monster!Character/Reader (mainly vampires, demons, incubus/succubus)
POC!Reader* (I am not a person of color but I will try my best)
Disabled!Reader* (just let me know what I’m working with; will try my best)
PlusSize!Reader
MLM - NBLM - MLW - NBLW
He/Him, He/They, They/Them pronouns
𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙? 𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙨𝙠.
𝙉𝙤!
Smut (I’ll hint at it but nothing more)
S/A Themes of any kind
Literally anything where there isn’t clear consent
S/H* (open to mentioning scars or struggles but nothing else)
Ab⚠️se
Why I don’t do age regression
Age play
Petplay
Inc⚠️st/st⚠️pcest
P⚠️do shit
Extreme age gaps (ex: 20 and 40)
Parent!Character and/or Child!Reader
Omegaverse — A/B/O stuff
Furry stuff (not against it I’m just not into it and wouldn’t do it justice)
Mafia
Yandere
Any extremely dark themes
Why I don’t write for celebrities
She/Her, She/They — Fem!Reader (there’s enough content for you already)
𝙍𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙.
𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙄𝙣𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙙𝙚 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙍𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜:
(* = 𝙤𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡)
Pronouns, gender, sexuality*, or gender expression*
Type (headcanons, fic, blurb, imagine, etc.)
Style (angst, fluff, mix, etc.)
Themes or tropes
AMAB*, AFAB*, or Non Descriptive (if it matters to the plot; default is non descriptive)
Bits of dialogue*
I love getting requests, but sometimes it’s hard to work with when they’re super vague — especially if it’s been done before. The more detailed, the better.
𝙏𝙖𝙜𝙨 𝙏𝙤 𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠:
★ Jaws Asks — Usually where I answer questions, but occasionally has denied requests. Feel free to write for those if you wish!
★ Jaws Important — Self explanatory; mainly updates but also important information
★ Jaws Recs — Anything I’ve read and have enjoyed (making a masterlist soon)
˗ˏˋAll requests closed as of May 2024ˎˊ˗
𝙁𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙢𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨
˗ˏˋ Marvel ˎˊ˗
Tony Stark / Iron Man
Steve Rogers / Captain America
Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow
Thor Odinson
Bruce Banner / Hulk
Clint Barton / Hawkeye
Loki Laufeyson (female form/genderfluid Loki
included!) ☾
Caret Danvers / Captain Marvel
Gamora
Mantis
Drax
Wanda Maximoff ☾
Pietro Maximoff
Vision
Bucky Barnes / The Winter Soldier
Sam Wilson / The Falcon
Doctor Stephen Strange
Scott Lang / Ant-Man
Hope Van Dyne / The Wasp
T'Challa/ Black Panther
Shang-Chi
Yelena Belova ☾
Kate Bishop ☾
Matt Murdock ☾
Foggy Nelson ☾
Karen Page ☾
Frank Castle / The Punisher
Wade Wilson / Deadpool
Shuri ✶
Peter Parker (Tom!Spidey only for rn) ☾
Michelle Jones ✶
Ned Leeds ✶
Spiderverse!Miles Morales ✶
Spiderverse!Gwen Stacy ✶
˗ˏˋ Stranger Things ˎˊ˗
Steve Harrington ☾
Nancy Wheeler ☾
Eddie Munson ☾
Robin Buckley ☾ (NBLW only unless platonic)
Chrissy Cunningham ☾
Jonathan Byers ☾
Argyle ☾
Eden Bingham
Gareth Emerson
Mike Wheeler ✶
El Hopper ✶
Lucas Sinclair ✶
Max Mayfield ✶ ☾
Dustin Henderson ✶
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I'm reading 夜半衣寒 (part 4 out of like 33 still).
And its a reread, last time I resd everything but the last 3 chapters because I tend to stop stuff I love right before its over. So yeah, I'm rereading. So as expected, the actual amount of totally brand new hanzi i see is fairly low. I've read this before intensively (looking up nearly all unknown words) and extensively (looking up an occasional new word but guessing mostly). So I am fairly familiar with the vocabulary the fic uses, though I forgot the pronunciation of some of these words.
Well like. Its a wild experience noticing how much I comprehend this time around. I am extensively reading, looking up 1-6 words a chapter (for pinyin or to double check I guessed or remembered a word correctly). I am reading it faster than last time. I notice this time around I simply know a lot more words, which makes me think I definitely improved vocabulary in between reading this last time and rereading it now. Because I do NOT remember recognizing this many words even when I was reading intensively in the past and looking most words up. I also do NOT remember details being THIS Clear to me when reading. Aka I remember a lower overall comprehension of what was going on. Last time, I remember I grasped wu xie was a singer/radio host kind of thing in a sucky apartment building that was moist, creepy sad music was heard, he met xiaoge the security guard etc.
This time, I am:
1. More aware of details im missing like "is this moist or damp? The teacher is standing either at a podium or platform but I'm not sure. The window was described but I'm not sure if that's about paper covering the window or a curtain I will look it up."
2. I am comprehending way more generally than last time - now im grasping specific details much easier like "wu xies bed is in this portion of the bedroom, there's 2 windows, the windows were sealed so wind couldn't have knocked the paper, the room had moistness despite tightly sealed windows, xiaoge is being accused of being the late night singer but says he didn't sing and wu xie is not grasping that xiaoge did not grasp he was being accused, so wu xie thinks he's being blatantly lied to. Wu xie is not just IN a class lecture (which I grasped last time) but also sick, red nose, blowing nose, teacher is annoyed he's sick and talking to friends trying to encourage him to go to school doctor, wu xies sneakily glancing at internet instead of listening to lecture on western architecture (so i can tell what the lecture is about, WHY the teachers mad, what specifically his friends versus him are saying about being sick, what specifically wu xie is doing on his phone - things I could not grasp last time beyond simply "He's in a lecture and sick and friends asking something and teacher mad.") So as you can imagine, in a way it feels like reading it for the first time all over again. I have the prior reading experience to roughly inform me if my guess of an unknown word is likely close enough (now that I can remember wu xie is Sick in the lecture it's easier to guess the paper is a tissue and not school related text, the lecture being done by a teacher means I can now guess easier that the architecture word is related to the class subject instead of describing the rooms appearance, knowing wu xie has Z kind of apartment with Y furniture means when I do see an unknown I can be fairly sure it's a cupboard or window-accessory etc).
I am very much enjoying it, as its making this both an easier read and more fun to catch all these details I missed last time. I think for me, the way I tend to read and reread has its benefits sometimes and here is definitely one of those times.
I want to eventually be one of those people who has read like X number of books in chinese ToT. Alas I've read 20-100 chapters in several things but not actually finished much. I finished The Little Prince, 4 graded readers, 2 children's novels about wild cats in the city, then read some chapters of a couple dozen other things. I would love to say I've read 1 priest novel... 3 ;-;.... all the ones on my bookshelves. Oh the day I can read can ci pin ;-; ....
It's also a bit fun and surprising to be reading again after nit being able to study Chinese for a few months for various reasons. In one part because I've been sick and focused study has been rare to impossible, and in other part because I've been focusing mainly on Japanese when I Do have energy since I'm trying to get my Japanese good enough to play an imported game I've never played before once it comes in. Also whenever I'm playing Japanese games (and I'm playing yakuza games rn) my urge and motivation to study Japanese skyrockets. Hearing Japanese nonstop for like several weeks because of those games definitely has motivated me lol. Also I just bought a Nintendo famicon and Final Fantasy VI in Japanese so... one day I'll be playing that.
But yeah, my chinese study has been neglected for a good 3 months. So it's interesting to see what I've retained versus what I had not learned solidly enough and therefore lost or struggle to remember now. Certain sounds I seem to be rusty at making, and maybe that's partly Japanese study interference. Remembering pronunciation in General of hanzi I only vaguely knew is what seems to have taken the worst hit. When I read, most hanzi I can recall SEEING before (so I remembered the radicals combo as familiar) and can recall at least roughly what it meant (so I see 颤抖 Chandou and forget the pronunciation, forget if it specifically means tremble, but can recall it means roughly tremble/shake/shudder which are rough synonyms which tend to make sense in the places I see the word. I can recall the second hanzi might be dou based on the radicals but cant quite recall Chan when I see it unless I look up the word again). There's a Lot of words and hanzi I had learned vaguely before my study break, and I mostly still recognizd them in reading but the sound info and specifics is foggy or gone. Then there's words I specifically remember where I learned them (words I learned from zhenhun in particular lol I have a really strong recall of since I reread those words a Lot and Heard them a lot) and they tend to recall very solid and I'm certain when I see them. (Related note, I watched 4 eps of guardian lately, 2 without English subs then 2 not even looking at the screen and just playing in the background while working and.... if there was ever a show I learned from So Much I follow everything lol its that). My point is... I retained a lot more reading skill than I expected. I'm really happy about that. While my listening skills weakened, and that's a big goal for me eventually, this is nice at least. Also my writing/speaking skills tanked like wild, but I suspect it's a short term effect of being so japanese study focused I just can't remember much chinese active vocabulary at the moment. That's happened with French plenty of times and it just means usually I need to start Using the language again and it will mostly come back (except for the words I only vaguely learned to say... which will need to be more actively restudied to put into active vocabulary longer term).
Other updates:
I've mostly been reading manhua instead of thicker texts. Does not probably help with my goal of read A LOT to improve (and read thru the novels I want to lol), but its fun. I'm reading 破云，你的距离，19天. It's relaxing to read manhua tbh right now, in part because I know most words so I really can just guess and move on, and I'm in a comic reading mood even in English lately (I read a 500 page beast recently in English and am still reading some dense fanfic, so books wise my brains been like legs read junji ito slowly... and manhua slowly... and death note slowly.. and ranma 1/2 slowly...) also I've been drawing again lately, so no doubt seeing the art styles is helping me with ideas a bit.
I am probably not learning Korean. In my little attempt around a month ago I learned hangul a bit again, and some real common basic stuff. Got a bit less horrific at recognizing hangul spelling. But I just do not engage with Korean much. (Also I unfortunately did not find a learning resource that did what I wanted, the only ones I did were more suitable for intermediate learners which I am not). Maybe one day.
I am also I think a bit spoiled in that like... the other languages I mainly focus on I am upper beginner or higher in and have been for a While so they just do Not ever feel as hard... Japanese I can read with a dictionary, it's only like lol my level of Chinese at 8 months but it's still eons better than total beginner. French I can read extremely solid in so its only ever listening practice of words I Should Know already when I pick it up again, chinese I can read and watch and talk/write if I make myself so it's not a matter of being functional it's more a matter of improvement (my listening skills need WORK but with my reading skill where it is, like French it's mostly a matter of learning to hear and follow what I can already read). Spanish and Italian I am very weak at study wise, but I can read technical texts fairly well in both and have already prepped learning resources ideal for my learning style so when I do rarely have time to study them I know exactly what to sit down and use. My German is probably the weakest, despite 2 years of school for it lol, but like Italian and Spanish I already have all the resources prepared I prefer to study from for German so it's again just a matter of using them. Whereas for korean... I had no study plan, no resources already found and suitable for my learning style and absolute beginner level. And probably most importantly... just no urgent need. My French never got very good besides reading because I only needed it for reading when I studied it a lot. My chinese is probably the furthest along because thanks to authors and shows I Really enjoy, there's an actual need for me to be able to consume non translated media that keeps me eventually making myself study again and again. My Japanese stalled once I could play kingdom hearts 2 in Japanese cause that had been my goal since age 11 ToT. And it wasn't until recently with more actual untranslated Novels I want to read and untranslated games i want to play that the motivation to study again has kicked in gear. For me an urge to be able to understand stuff I cannot find translated (or know enough to tell where the translations are a bit odd) tends to motivate me a lot.
Fairly unrelated. I found a list that ranks cdramas based on how easy/hard they are to watch for learners. And I found it funny Ice Fantasy was ranked as easy - I AGREE wholeheartedly. While my cdrama watching is fairly doable for anything without English subs if I have chinrse subs, Ice Fantasy in particular is something I can follow without having to pay any more attention than if I was watching with English subs. So very low intensity, comprehensible, doable. I could do that about 2 years into study so probably a solid 2000-3000 vocabulary knowledge is plenty to make that show with chinese subs feel as easy as any eng sub show. Word of Honor is marked as Difficult, and I would say while I could follow it about 1.5 years into learning Chinese, it definitely required way more focus to follow the plot than Ice Fantasy. So their difficulty rating matches up fairly well to my experience.
I do think maybe vocabulary density though would make faster improvements if you watched though. For me, the more dialogue and range of vocabulary, the more I tend to pick up and learn now. But as a beginner, action genre was easier and one of the only doable ones (because action context is clear and many lines are literally what actions people are doing). Along with detective murder mystery genre, specifically because I am very familiar with episode structure for that genre and words related to it so I could use context to help me. Whereas word of honor was a major challenge when I watched for the poetic things wen kexing and a few others said, and the in depth plot that was more complex than just cases of the week.
I recommend checking out this site! If you click the Words next to each entry, it downloads a word list with hanzi pinyin and definitions. I can do it on my phone, then open in Moonreader+ and look at the list. It would be very helpful for review or pre-study before watching a given show. Word of honor has about 8000 words and I'm glancing at the list now. I think the list can also be imported to Pleco (possibly as a flashcard set). The list has word list download tools, difficulty ratings, and may also be useful for finding a new drama to watch for practice.
#rant#reference#chinese reference#cdramas#cdrama#reading#reading progress#june#june progress#progress
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task 001 / / initial sitdowns
SHE WAS almost crying as soon as she even stepped through the doorway, eyes watery as Jessamine pulled out the chair and sat down at the table, legs crossed primly, hands clasped in her lap as she attempted to stop herself from fidgeting. Wouldn’t that make her look even more suspicious? Or would a calm demeanour merely serve as its own indicator of guilt? Either way, she supposed there was little she could do but be truthful. She had never been good with authority, nor was Jessamine a particularly good thinker of excuses. And maybe, just maybe, the genuine shock she was experiencing with Greer having been declared officially missing would serve as a demonstration of her absolute innocence. She was alone, no lawyer to back her up - she hadn’t even thought about that until too late - and all she had to give was her own word. It was a shame, she thought for once, that she’d never been a logical thinker.
“When did you last speak to Greer?”
Uncomfortable, Jessie crossed and uncrossed her legs, biting her lip. Why couldn’t she remember this? Why was it so hard to think back to the start of the summer? Were the drugs having an effect on her longterm memory already, at the age of 21? If she’d have known, if she’d have been told it was important she’d have kept a note of it, but there were just so many meaningless at the time interactions with Greer which had since taken on more significance than she could ever have imagined… “I- I don’t- We talked so much,” Jessie said hastily, voice shaking with nerves. “Like, stupid texts, saying hi on campus…. I guess it must have been right before she left, before summer started…. I can probably check my phone-?”
“When did you last actually see Greer?”
“It was… it was right before I left for Florida,” she racked her brain, desperate for more detail, “just before the end of term, I left a little early, um….. I went on May 18th,” she said eventually, pulling the date from the tangle of previous term memories she was struggling to make sense of. “I didn’t stay to watch graduation, uh, there just didn’t seem… Much point. So I said bye to her and that was pretty much it….”
“How well did you know Greer?”
“We were friends,” Jessamine’s tone turned sincere as she leaned forward. “I’d… I suppose you never really know as much as you think you do, but I’d like to think I knew her pretty well. She definitely knew I cared, she knew all about me… I mean, we didn’t have deep conversations a lot, but I knew her well enough. I… sometimes I think maybe she knew me better, but- well.” She cut herself off, nodding as if cementing her words in her own mind as much as in the officer’s.
“What was your relationship with Greer like?”
“It was- It was good,” she exhaled shakily. “Like I said, I was her friend. We did a lot of things together, parties, uh… yeah….” Why couldn’t she think of anything else to say? Why was her mouth failing her now? Jessie was starting to think that perhaps she ought to pause the interview and get a lawyer, that nobody with a law qualification would have allowed her to make such a mess of it. “Just…. Normal college stuff. College girl things. I confided in her…. I trusted her. And I mean, Greer was popular, everyone wanted to be her… it felt like an honor, you know? That she picked me? I just never wanted it to end. Sorry, I mean- I don’t want it to end.”
“Have you heard or seen anything about where she was this summer?”
“Uh… I saw her on Julieta’s Instagram,” Jessie offered, hoping to sound at the very least helpful. “Other than that….. I guess not? I sent her texts,” she added quickly, “messages, voicemails…. I didn’t get a reply but I just thought maybe she was caught up travelling or something and she just didn’t have time to say anything to me- I didn’t know if she had plans, but…”
“You wouldn’t have wanted Greer to disappear, would you?”
“No, sir,” Jessamine shook her head violently, adamant to make her point clear, “absolutely never in a million years. I really love Greer, ask anyone, I swear- I just want her back,” she said firmly, an edge of panic taking over her voice. “Truly. I- are people saying I’d want her to disappear? Because I can assure you I don’t, I just want Greer to be okay, I-“ She was rambling now, tears flowing freely down her pale cheeks, and she could have sworn she could see a hint of disgust at her antics on the officer’s face as he reluctantly slid the tissue box her way.
“Thank you for your time, Miss Tate.”
She didn’t even know how she managed to exit the room, her legs shaking to the point where she didn’t even feel like they belonged to her anymore. One thing was clear in Jessamine’s mind: she had fucked that up to an inordinate extent, and if she hadn’t been a suspect before, she in all likelihood was prime suspect now. In her head, she sent out a silent plea. Greer, just send some sort of message. Let them know what’s happening. Before it’s too late.
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It's time for my Elden Ring review then! Let's go over my usual points.
Graphics
The game looks crisp and clear. While it has a realistic style, it also doesn't shy away from having a fantasy look, with characters like Blaidd, Morgott and of course the typical ridiculous FromSoft armour sets.
The areas are the most gorgeous to look at. There are six main areas and all of them are rather diverse! And then you go underground and see stars glittering on the ceiling and the game even gives you a "gorgeous view ahead" message. It is a joy to look at and I loved exploring the Lands Between.
A shoutout goes to atmosphere. The first time I saw a Walking Mausoleum I just had to stop and look at it, completely in awe. Sometimes I just went to a high place to look at the area around me.
You could argue that the caves and catacombs look always the same, but even there they managed to find some unique ideas, especially in caves and not make them carbon copies of each other.
Music and Sound
The voice acting first. It's excellent. I just sit there and imagine Miyazaki giving the voice actors direction and it is like "Why endearing shall I say the 'My Lambink' line?" or "So I shall say 'My apprentice' as heart warming as possible?". The voice actors deliver their lines fantastic and we have a lot more of them then usual. Because the bosses in Elden Ring actually talk, a LOT, and therefore we hear so many more voices than usual! It's a joy!
I was expecting the game to be mostly silent again, like Dark Souls and Bloodborne, and only blow me away in boss battles, but Elden Ring actually has an ambient soundtrack for everything outside of boss battles. And it WORKS. The slow and melancholic melodies help to not distract you while you explore the Lands Betweens and it actually is very nice to listen to. It also is nice to hear a change in music once enemies chase you, so that you know if you aggroed something. Also, it wasn't always the same song playing, but the different areas are having different ambience music.
And the boss music?! Oh, it's gorgeous! There are a lot of really good tracks that I still have to listen to again because I often am too busy to listen closely. I am especially a fan of the first phase of the final boss theme, I love stuff like this!
Characters, Story and Lore
Elden Ring not only gives us compelling and interesting NPCs, which come with their own quests to follow again, but the characters in the lore are fantastic as well.
And there is a lot of lore in Elden Ring. Basically, when in Dark Souls everything has already happened a long time ago, in Elden Ring everything was shortly after it happened. There is still a chance to mend stuff and that is our goal in this game.
And it shows everywhere. We see the camps of the fractions who waged war against each other, for example, you can see Leyndell soldiers who waged battle against Volcano Manor in Mt. Gelmir. You can see the camps outside of Leyndell, the ones who tried to siege the city. Caelid is full of the scarlet rot because Malenia had to resort to it to beat Radahn.
I don't want to go into too much detail, but I like the lore that the game gave us. There are many lore important characters and all of them have their own idea how to go about things. It was fun going out of my way and seeing everything in the world to piece together the lore and I am sure I am not finished with it. It also took a while in Bloodborne and Dark Souls until I understood everything.
Story isn't really a thing in FromSoft games, it is more the world building and lore that gets you in, but hey, there exist dozens of fanfiction already (I even wrote my own) and there will be more than enough stories to read.
Gameplay
Elden Ring feels like Dark Souls 3 at first. You have a character who can attack with a weapon, block with a shield and use sorceries with a wand/seal. You can dodge roll and you can heavy attack or light attack. So far, so Soulsborne.
However, Elden Ring spices it a bit up. Dedicated jump button for example, which means that we not only can jump now to dodge several attacks, but also jump attack, which often staggers enemies, especially with big weapons. Furthermore, we have the option for stealth now, which can really tide a battle into your favour.
Another new mechanic are the spirit ashes. Basically, the game gives you the option to summon EVERY SINGLE enemy type of the game to fight alongside you at certain points. They are mostly available for boss battles or for areas with LOADS of enemies and vanish once every enemy is gone or their HP is depleted.
They don't have to be used, but often the game is designed around their usage, especially in double boss battles I don't want to miss them. Lategame bosses also have ridiculous high HP, the game kinda expects you to bring them in.
They still are a complete optional thing to use, but hey, I really liked fighting alongside my Mausoleum Knight, and in my next playthrough I may try out a different spirit ash, who knows? I loved finding so many of them.
Now to the modes of gameplay. There are pretty much two. Exploring and legacy dungeons. In exploring you just get into the Open World. You can summon Torrent, your horse, and just go around. The world does never feel boring. There is stuff EVERYWHERE. Caves, catacombs, ruins, enemy camps, points of interest, materials etc etc. There are even a lot of Overworld Bosses to beat, even though most of them only appear at night.
The Legacy Dungeons is where the game feels the most like Dark Souls, with the twist that there are several ways to reach your goal. The amount of time I just looped around and was like "I already have been there" was too damn high! In a Legacy Dungeon, there are normally around two bosses, a mini boss fight and a shard bearer. The shard bearers are the highlight of the game and are the most unique battles.
Or I would like to say that, but unfortunately the game has the problem with reusing bosses. While this is totally fine with stuff like the Erdtree Burial Watchdogs or the Night's Cavalry, it is leaving a bad taste in my mouth when shard bearers like Godrick or Mohg just get a carbon copy of their first phase placed somewhere in the world.
On the topic of bosses, Elden Ring has a lot of them. 120 to be precise. And often it is just "dual boss of earlier boss" which is... often not good. Dual Abductor Virgins or Dual Crucible Knight? Not fun, not even with spirit summons! At this point I wish "less would be more", because do I need a boss in EVERY cave and catacomb? No, I don't.
Anyway, the game feels very fair for the most part, which brings me to my last point...
Saltiness
The endgame! Elden Ring's endgame has a serious balancing issue and I believe that some of the bosses weren't tested with melee only builds. My main problem is that areas like Mountaintops of the Giants, Consecrated Snowfield, Haligtree and Crumbling Farum Azula have enemies with BLOATED HP. I talk about enemies who come in groups, can easily overwhelm you and you still have to hit EACH of them around 10 times before they die. That is... extreme.
And then there are some bosses that felt a bit unfair. Malenia for example. She is easily able to chain combo after combo after combo, which is a bit extreme. She should have a bit more recovery time to give people more chance to attack her and not beg for the RNG to be good thist try. Maliketh is running away from you so MUCH and even if he is there, he recovers so quickly that melee only feels like a pain. There is the blasphemous claw, but the game sadly does not explain how to use it. And Godfrey? His first phase was still fine, but can someone tell me how to dodge his damn wrestling moves in phase 2?!
And while I think that Radagon and Elden Beast are fun fights, Elden Beast really likes to run away from you like Maliketh. Only saving grace is that its attacks actually have LOADS of recovery time, so you can at least attack.
I was getting especially salty about feeling like slow melee weapons got screwed over. A lot of people agreed with me. This game feels like it wants you to go with either a magic build or a bleed build. I think the endgame needs some revision, because there were areas where I thought "This was unfair" and that shouldn't happen in a Soulsborne game.
Anyway, I would love to give Elden Ring a 10/10, but thanks to the unbalanced end game I have to give it around a 7.5/10. If Fromsoft fixes the endgame, I will easily give it a 10/10.
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(via cat lovers Mask by mohammed elhachimi)
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chill out city claire andrews claireandrewss classic clout clout goggles college colour colourful country cowabunga dancing, skeleton dark blue dead head death designs disco dolphin donut doodle dorm down drake dude edm elephant elephants emoji eno equal pay eyes fall fat buddha fist floral flower flowers font four stars fries fruit fry funds fye gd50 girl gang girl girl girls
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Honestly if this girl really does have bpd like she said this makes a lot of sense. I don't mean to be ableist or anything but many people I know who have this disorder and haven't sought treatment can be very paranoid about people they think hurt them, believe in guilt by association, and have a hard time with reality. Again I'm not trying to be hurtful and I believe anyone can change with therapy which she very clearly needs
it depends on the person, bpd is a really varied condition, and what "is the illness" vs what "is the person" is a muddy question that I personally (as an alter, I may be biased) don't think is worth asking. so I never want to be like "ah yes, she is being this way because she has Makes You This Way condition" especially when it's stuff not everyone with the condition has, not everyone who is that way to that extent has the condition, we don't know the details of her situation or symptoms, whether it's the condition causing it or not is muddy even at the best of times, nine out of ten dentists recommend consulting your doctor to see if Makes You This Way condition is right for you. but to be clear, conditions have symptoms- absolutely 100% very obvious, that is indeed how that works, good job me- and sometimes those symptoms will make you act a certain way, that's a thing. when I get manic I would be turning into one of those supervillains from miraculous ladybug every time somebody phrases something rudely, I'd single-handedly destroy paris, I'm so irritable it feels like my skin is on too tight, and it is physically impossible to be all happy sunshine rainbow giggle machine when that's how you feel. like I'm sorry to the whole "your mental health issues aren't making you mean, you're just an asshole" crowd, but you try putting up with a rude person when you've barely slept and your entire body is on fire, you get snarky. that's like totally a thing and that's part of why I just don't hold grudges - because like, everyone has their reasons for acting how they did, they were being tormented by the demon in their brain, they've had a super unlucky day, they had some shit to unlearn, they were possessed by an ancient spirit, they haven't had enough sleep, they were a figment of my imagination, etc etc. and being pissy about it in a month isn't going to make it not have happened, it's just going to screw up both of our days, so I just let shit go. but speculating on the reasoning for a person's outburst in the moment tends to just escalate the pressure - I know that the only thing that makes me angrier than being told I'm lashing out because of my crazy when I'm actually not lashing out because of that, is being told it when I actually am lashing out because of that (like same with pms... okay tbf I can't quantify this to compare which is actually worse, but you get the message). anger is a very deep and primal emotion, it's a very Real feeling, like on every level, it makes you warm, it makes you nauseous, it makes your head spin while also making you focused, it makes your skin crawl, it engulfs your brain - I know that I feel anger more intensely than most people, especially neurotypicals, because of my health issues, and I often feel everything more Physically than mentally, but I think even for them it's this overwhelming feeling. so to have somebody be like "lmao quit it that's not real, that's just your silly little brain goo being silly" when you're in the middle of that storm, it just makes everything worse, y'know? so if this is her bpd making her paranoid and angry, then I don't think pointing that out would actually help all that much. that said, we're all having a hard time with reality right now, reality sucks and my psychosis has taken that as permission to go full episode, we're having a halloween special, a christmas special, the beach episode, the one where a character gets an evil clone. no but for real I'm suffering. like, psychosis and paranoia are super bad for me, and I get that, I vibe, big mood, same hat. but I'm not gonna extend sympathy to somebody who's acting like this and snubbing any sympathy I have offered thus far - if they come back in a month like "lmao sorry" I'll be like "bitch don't even worry about it, you doing good?" but right now all I can do is poke light-hearted fun at the stupid asshole being a stupid asshole in my asks, y'know? but yeah, you're not being hurtful or ableist, I don't think so anyway, just maybe not the time or place for attempted armchair psychology.
although I will push back on "everyone can change with therapy" because y'all really do need to stop treating therapy like a silver bullet. it's not magic, it's just talking. it's just teaching a handful of coping mechanisms and hoping you can talk your brain thingy into maybe punching something softer than a wall. it can't fix everything - I've posted about this a tonne before. but also, that's okay. like, I am totally for rehabilitation of criminals (heck I don't even like the word criminal, it's just like "yeah this person has law cooties" like shut up they broke the law that shouldn't be treated like a permanent debuff, it's just some dumb shit somebody wrote in a book because they were an asshole and then we all adopted some mythos about it that it's this super special awesome perfect infallible well-constructed magical thing that keeps the peace when 98% of them are like "you can't smoke this leaf you grew, ehh first cousins fucking is kinda icky tho, no butter knives in public, don't draw anime first cousins fucking I already said that was icky, you got a license for that buddy, and if you do it like this it's rape but if you do it like this it's rape 2 electric boogaloo and if you do it like this it's non-rape rape and if you do it like this it's assault by rape and if you do it like this on a tuesday at sunset it's spicy rape okay now onto sexual assault so if you do it like this it's sexual assault and if you do it like this it's assault by penetration and if you do it like this it's sexual assault by penetration by a cowboy and if you do it like-" and it's like that so they can have slightly different maximum fines for each one). but I don't support rehabilitation out of some dumb idealism that everybody is just going to stop wanting to do a crime if we fix the socioeconomics and talk to them for a bit, I say it because those things will reduce crime rates and help some people, and everybody else can just be looked after safely because why not. rehabilitative justice is just the best alternative movement to the punitive system. sticking someone in a cold, dank cage, surrounded by other troubled people, then releasing them after a few years... that definitely won't help somebody who can't be helped with therapy, and it won't help those who can be, so it's just like... people get pissy like "not everybody will be fixed tho! so we can't do it!" they want perfection from The Suggested Thing, and refuse to just look at the fact that current thing is demonstrably lightyears worse (see: renewable and nuclear power vs coal and oil, better public transport and walkable cities vs basically needing a car to do anything). I'm not a blind idealist, I know sometimes things never get fixed, and I just choose to want the systems of power to be forced to be nice in every situation. because why the fuck would you ever be like "ah yes system of power that controls our lives, here's your be a cunt card, remember you can only use it a hundred times a day :)" like bruh. [edit: to be clear, I was poking fun at the fact that here you have to have a penis for it to be classed as rape and there's just like a bunch of categories that really could all easily come under an extended rape category, I'm not saying rape should be legal lmao, just adding this because you know somebody is gonna misinterpret]
re
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“ the door's always open, you know that.” for the hurt/comfort prompts
I repeat - Jess/Leto backstory stuff is FUN. PG-ish and usual queued-crosspost deal.
It’s been a month, but it feels like half a lifetime.
Correction – two months since what could politely be described as diplomatic maneuvering and suggestions that could not be turned down; one since all of that manifested in a complicated and fascinating woman who is no more clear now than she was at first sight. Something is off about her, something that cannot be explained by what she is, and-
If this ends badly, when this ends badly, he will only blame himself. Already he knows he is handling the situation wrong, already trying too hard, trying too many things and something will go sideways somewhere along the line and-
He is not yet what he will become. Neither of them are. That is as much comfort as he can find.
It’s been a month, and boundaries are still being figured out and ignored and this will be a fun few years or however long it takes before that woman figures out that this is not whatever hell she expected or once knew. He sees the pain in her, how quickly she retreats after anything that feels like connection, how her responses do not line up with what he expected. Not normal, he’s sure of it, not like past lovers who meant almost nothing at all, not-
It is hard enough to convince himself that he has a heart sometimes. The idea of finding that in such an unlikely place is… strange, at best, and all the more tempting for it.
He does not ask what she does when he has not asked for her attention, but he keeps track of secondhand comments and pieces details together. Reclusive and yet prone to exploring, and he can’t blame her for that, there are hundreds of years of details and a few half-failed renovations in the main complex alone. The intermittent ambitious streak that flares in his bloodline every few generations – not in him, he thinks, he hopes – creates relics and ruins, and if the woman wants to learn her new surroundings then that’s understandable enough. She is cold but polite, he hears, and does not make herself difficult. Not what anyone expected with what little time there was to prepare, not anything there is a plan for, not-
There is a soft knock on the door, and he crosses the space and opens it to see her as if summoned. She is not a particularly small person and yet there is something small about how she presents herself, and time should fix that, she is more than she thinks she is and it worries him and-
“What’s wrong?” he asks, because even now he can’t imagine any other reason she’d be here. He has not given any signals today – they are still learning protocols, still learning the communication of lovers – and those thoughts are not active in his mind and-
“Nothing,” she replies, and she is not close enough and not making eye contact and he doesn’t believe her for a second. “I just… would like to not be alone for a while.”
Absolutely no planning around her, he thinks as he steps back and lets her into the space. Whatever she actually wants, and he can’t imagine it’s as simple as she’s just said, her hesitance seems real enough and-
She looks so right curled up in a chair, so obvious that she doesn’t plan to do what she has done every other time she’s been in this space, and his heart melts a little. This will ruin him, a few voices had said when the situation began to unfold, and right now he can believe that easily enough. How he could end up caring too much about her, even though he’s not sure he does quite yet, even though-
“You don’t have to be so formal about it,” he says after a while, because the papers he is supposed to be looking at aren’t going anywhere and it’s more than time they attempt to have an actual conversation that doesn’t center on the questionable placement of one’s hands on the other’s skin. “The door’s always open, you know that.”
“I… actually didn’t,” she replies, glancing up for a heartbeat. “But you’re inconsistent, so…”
“Inconsistent?” he repeats. Oh, this is going to be good. Women of her background are supposedly able to see through anyone they interact with, find every weakness in only a few heartbeats, and he’d love to know what problems she’s got with him already and-
“You don’t know what you want to do with me,” she says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and to her it probably is. “Not sure if you like me best as whore or weapon or…”
“Neither of those,” he says before she can come up with some other brutal category she could isolate herself into. “You are… I don’t know what you are yet, but…”
“You want a wife. You got stuck with me.”
She’s not wrong, but something about her coldness seems particularly unpleasant, like what she’s said out loud is nothing compared to whatever’s going on in her mind right now. How self-critical she obviously is, and maybe that’s deserved and maybe that isn’t, he doesn’t know her, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t-
“It is not that simple,” he says after too long, because he wants to comfort her and he isn’t sure that’s even possible.
“I’m something reliable to crash your body into for a few years until some negotiation works out for you. Damage control in a plain dress. If all goes well, that’s all I ever am.”
She’s far too casual about it, and how deep does that internalized anger go, how much of a mess are her insides, how bad-
It is better not to know, he is already learning. Always better to keep boundaries anywhere he can with her, for fear of what might be unleashed if he doesn’t. He wants anyways.
“We could at least be something. Friends, maybe.”
“Is that possible for lovers?” Such a genuine question, eyes fearful for a moment before something flips inside her and back to the perfect composure that may not be real at all and-
“We could try. I would like to try.”
“What if we’re too different?”
He can’t answer that question in any good way. They are different, there are things that even he can’t ignore, but… even now he suspects their hearts may be the same, if it turns out that she does in fact have one, and…
“We’d have to try first, to know.”
There is quiet for a while, the conversation over, and it is easy enough to return to his projects and oh it is too obvious that he has been too alone too long. Surrounded by good people but never fully understood, and… maybe, he thinks, maybe this woman could be every exception.
At some point, time made meaningless, she uncurls her body and moves towards the door. “I’ll leave you be. I… thank you.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You’ve given me space. Someday you’ll understand.”
He’s never wanted anything more.
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fluff is good, it’s even fun sometimes. but, you know, i think i’ll always enjoy dark content the most. like, no matter how much i insist i have moved past it, my entire career began because i learned the term yandere and realized i’d found my place in the online sphere. but, really, lust and fear have a complimentary relationship. the emotions and sensations they invoke, both physically and mentally, are equally potent and stem from the same place for me. the fluttery sensation in my stomach dances indiscriminately to the tune of disquiet and arousal, excitement stirs itself up within my chest at the mention of being wanted, uncaring if the intent is sadistic or lustful. its a shared theatrical fantasy of fear, catching thrills from simulated danger as we imagine what it is to be in a situation so dire, so intense and frightening, that we cannot help but to hyperfocus on our discomfort. we practice these emotions and engage in these disastrously unhealthy relationships through emulation and the sanitized vessel of the written word, but without any of the emotional price that would be asked of us if it were real.
it’s not real.
there is nobody lurking behind your window in the gaps between the streetlamps, even if you were to turn off the lights in an attempt to get a better view, but maybe you shouldn’t anyway. there is no face to breathe fog and leave smudged fingerprints on the glass pane while they peer into the internal life you hold sacred, but you should probably keep your blinds shut. there is nobody hiding behind your shower curtain as you stumble half-blind and asleep into the bathroom at two in the morning, but it wouldn’t hurt to check. if you hear a sound, surely you cannot logically attribute it to a malevolent person moving unseen through the secure sanctuary of your home when they assumed you would be in bed, but you should probably take a look at your locks. if you notice that your things are not where you left them, it’s silly to assume that someone has been into your room, rifling through your things and leaving them almost as you left them. to believe that somebody genuinely and truly meant you harm in such a personal way would be to risk the foundational safety that you rely on to live with any measure of peace. and besides, memories are fallible. our senses are imperfect. our overexcited and imaginative minds can betray us. you can be infected by a nightmare you can’t quite remember, only that you woke up shaky and gasping and frightened, squinting in the darkness to make out the figure standing at the foot of your bed that you could have sworn was just there only to be reassured that it was just a bad dream. you can hurry home because you felt certain you were being watched only for the sensation to be ultimately attributed to your own paranoia. yes, the world is dangerous. but maybe not your world. these things, these dramatic scenes cut straight from an episode of the hundreds of crime dramas, don’t happen to people like you.
but
we fantasize about yanderes and dark personalities and the brutal psychological and bodily torture any character of our choice could subject us to, we imagine the most grim of situations in a light that appeals to our own desires, twisting horror to suit us in a controlled manner.
still, it is frightening, isn’t it?
it’s past midnight, maybe one or two in the morning, and you’re sitting within the four walls of your room that you no longer believe to be protection enough from the stalker that has been creeping closer and closer. you’re staring at the familiar surroundings that suddenly feel very alien and contend with the bone crushing frenzy of utter stillness in the face of animal panic, the intense crackling and wavering that you can almost see hovering above your skin and holding up little strands of hair as chills crawl in bug-like hoards across the feverish flush of your flesh. all at once you are overwhelmed and helpless against him as he invades, defiles, and dismantles each aspect of your life. there is nothing you can do, no protection from this stylized predator who who has been perfected by fantasy made real so that he no longer resembles any common stalker. in the dark, you are vulnerable. in this situation, you are isolated. shame fills your chest, sloshing around to the frantic rhythm of your heartbeat, embarrassment at the ridiculousness of your reaction. really, what are a few messages? maybe you’re misinterpreting the signs, there’s not enough evidence to prove anything. you have to use the bathroom, yet you don’t feel safe to enter the dark hallway because there might be a figure standing at the other end, and what would you do then? you want to contact somebody for comfort, but everyone you know is asleep and you don’t want to disturb them over something so trivial. you want to move and run and scream and deal with the problem, but you can’t do anything. just sit. just watch. just wait. minutes tick by, somehow. and somehow, dawn breaks over the horizon. you didn’t sleep, but maybe the sun will provide safety. maybe.
maybe not. there’s a unique kind of horror in the mundane. you don’t think about the sounds of the world around you until you begin to feel uneasy in the sunny open air, until the paranoia kicks in and suddenly it’s all you can hear because you’re hyper-focusing on trying to identify why you no longer feel safe. birds warble and call to one another. the leaves relentlessly rustle as the playful breeze shakes them about. from far away, a dog is barking. the big kind, the one that goes “boof boof,” you’ve just gotten out of your car after being out all day and you’re standing uncertainly in your driveway, looking around to try and pinpoint why you’re so anxious. you realize, with a zipping sort of shock down your spine, that there’s nobody else around. not even any evidence that they existed in the first place and it’s so stupid but you begin to think that maybe you’re the only person who has ever existed because the world around you feels so empty and barren. energy tingles in the air, but it is hollow. a void of something you can’t quite perceive. the dog stops barking. the wind dies down. do you dare go inside? your home, the place that should be your refuge, is not safe. you go inside and look at a kitchen you scarcely recognize as your own, at a bed that might as well belong to somebody else, at decor you once were so proud to put up that now seems arranged by a strangers hand. the one who is preying on you is probably human, but the threat feels supernatural in effect. omnipresent. we fear that which we don’t understand, and how can you possibly understand the motive of someone who has focused on you? dread sinks down deep as you shift from foot to foot and second guess every move you make. it smells like sun-warmed concrete and the wind-blown scent of spring greenery. just like your home itself, the smell is familiar as it is foreign. eventually, you go inside.
it’s so obscene, the way that sweat pools between your shoulder blades and slicks your skin, making you shiver with a distinctly antithetical chill to your blazing temperature. sweat is gross and uncomfortable, it makes your clothes cling to your skin and hair mat to your forehead. it’s so crude, this gouging, pinching discomfort like you need to pee making your thighs tremble as they clench together. your entire body is wound up tight as you crouch in the dark, barely allowing yourself to breathe for fear of being discovered while he looks for you. maybe he takes his time just to mess with you, maybe he doesn’t. maybe he tauntingly calls out to you in a feigned attempt to draw you out of hiding. maybe he means it when he tells you that he loves you. no matter what, there’s no escape, not anymore. it’s a foregone conclusion that you will be found. but you can’t move. fight or flight is out the window, you are frozen. you know the eventuality, yet you cling to hope out of the sheer, stubborn, and half-mad belief that this cannot possibly be real.
its so repulsive, this sickness that gathers in your gut, that invites the swollen weight of nausea to press down heavy and inescapable in your throat, that sits on your paper dry tongue. it tastes like old, rusted metal, the scent that clung to your blistered hands when you were young and tried your luck on the ancient playground monkey bars. the bloody flavor that choked you when you lost the last of your baby teeth, leaving your childhood behind and exchanging imaginary monsters for the real ones. just when the anticipation is on the precipice of killing you, you’re found. you expected it, yet you still scream. it still hurts, it’s still terrifying, you’re still clouded by the vague fog of disbelief that this could be real. you keep thinking that. it can’t be real, this can’t be real. things like this don’t happen to you.
but it is. you can’t stop it. you have no control over your life in that moment and thereafter.
and you think about everything you’ve ever read online about torture. human beings are so capable of hurting each other, it’s a dedicated art form. and you know about stalkers, the real kind, not the fun fictional yandere kind. you know the torture that human bodies are capable of withstanding before dying, the grotesque limits they can endure. limbs removed or hobbled. fingers peeled of nail and skin. teeth pulled, tongue cut out, eyes gouged, skin lashed to tatters, feet spun around so the skin stretched like rubber. not to mention sexual torture. when a human being is granted absolute dominion over another, even the best of them go rotten. do you ever think about that? in these situations, the fear of pain would get to me above all else, i think.
if you don’t immediately disassociate from the fiction, if you force yourself into the scenario as its presented with a degree of reality, the horror is really limitless. and, you may ask, why was this important? because it is six am and i cannot sleep and i’ve had this entire conceptual outline of good horror yandere fiction sitting in my docs for ages that i’ll never actually use to write character x reader so i am giving it to you raw and uncut.
#personal#yandere#uh tw for being a pretentious and sleepy idiot cooming over ye ole classic yandere tropes#sometimes i like to imagine this stuff in clear enough detail that it actually makes me uncomfortable enough to turn on the light#and rethink my life choices#because this aint it#but at the same time#at this point its sunk cost fallacy i've spent too long typing this out to discard it#sorry dear followers#stalking tw
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He Forgot :(
Childe x GN!Reader
Summary: Tartaglia has been so busy that he forgot your birthday.
(Fluff with a sprinkle of ಥ_ಥ)
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Finally! It's your birthday!
You've been waiting for this day!
Sometimes you think that it's really not special, but this day is one of the few days you actually have a valid excuse to spend time with your lover.
He's been busy since forever! And you understand that being a Fatui Harbinger is probably a very stressful and dangerous job, you could only imagine what your boyfriend and his fellow clown colleagues gotta do everyday.
You planned this day for a month, a little lunch picnic at Mt. Tianheng, treasure hunting (another way of saying beating up treasure hoarders), maybe a little bit of sparring, swimming at Luhua Pool and finally, stargazing.
And not just regular star gazing, today is the day that a Geminid meteor shower would occur, it's gonna be really bright and awesome! So you gotta make sure that he's free.
You were practically all smiles while walking to Northland Bank, excitement was just radiating off of you that people you pass by just feels that good vibe.
You were just like: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
You have you satchel filled with usual adventuring stuff, and you have a picnic basket filled with homemade snacks.
You've imagined exactly how you want this day to unfold. Surely, Childe already signed for a day off. He never forgets any special events ever!
The guard outside the Northland Bank, Vlad, was already familiar of you, when you occasionally visit Childe just to keep him company from his boring paper work, as he likes to say.
"Hi, Mr. Vlad!" You greeted the man as he opened the doors of the bank for you.
"Morning! You seem excited today." You gave him a thumbs up as you excitedly walked to your lovers office.
But before opening the door, you clasped your hands together and prayed. 'Please don't be busy.' you kept repeating it in your head as you knocked.
"Come in." And with that, you entered the room.
Silently closing the door behind you, you looked at him expectantly, hoping the hear him great you for the occasion today.
He looked up at you before smiling, "Love, what are you doing here?"
You felt your heart clench a little, he forgot didn't he? You walked up to the front of his desk.
You cleared your throat, "I actually have something planned for us today." You explained, purposely going around the detail of why. "If you don't mind."
"Ah," Childe looked at the basket you're holding and stood up. "A picnic?" Slowly walking towards you, you nodded and looked down and the basket.
"That's very thoughtful of you, but-" Ah, here it comes.
"You're busy?" You finished for him, he looked at you with an apologetic look and nodded. You felt sadness creep up in your system, even today, of all days, he'd still prioritize work over you. You felt little in his gaze.
Sighing, you looked at him directly, "...Can you take a break just for a little?" You asked in a whisper.
Well maybe you guys can't do all the things you planned for the day, but maybe just a picnic would be enough, it's still bonding time. That's what you told yourself on the inside.
Before he could answer, a knock from the door followed by Ekaterina's head popping in. "Sir, um, you have a meeting with the Master of the Feiyun Commerce Guild in thirty minutes." She then saw you and apologized if she interrupted anything before leaving.
"I guess that's my answer, huh?" You said humorously, although feeling your once excited demeanor now clouded with gloom.
Childe took one of your hands with both of his before kissing the back of your palm. "I'm so sorry, Love, you know how's it been here lately."
You forced a smile on your face.
"But another time though, I'll make it up to you, okay?" He caressed your cheek before pressing a quick kiss on your lips.
"Okay." You said, backing away from him slowly, "I'll go do my commissions now, I guess." You speed walk to the door, clutching your basket and your disappointment together.
Outside his office you looked down at the picnic basket, filled with snack you prepared for hours. And yet, it's all gonna go to waste.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Walking back home, you had nothing to do anymore, you told Katherine that you'd be taking a break from commissions for the day, saying you had lots of stuff planned. But now, you're run dry.
"But another time though, I'll make it up to you, okay?"
'But today is the special day.' You reasoned within your head, you could never say that in front of him though, you've always been scared that maybe your relationship isn't as sturdy as you think it is, you haven't really been doing the usual stuff couples do for quite a while.
Maybe you two are just drifting apart.
Before you could add up to your thoughts, before you, you see a cat just sleeping on your doorstep, a ginger cat, who seemed to have woken up by the sound of your footsteps, seems to be an alert one. Reminds you of a certain someone.
"Hey, little guy." You knelt down, and surprisingly enough, the cat gawked its head at you, signaling you to pet it.
You scratched its head gently and it let out a eased purr.
"Wanna come inside for some food?" Like it understood you, it looked at you expectantly, you stood back up and grabbed your keys to open your door. "Great, I have a lot on me."
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
It's night time now.
Not a single peep from your lover, he didn't even remember that it's your birthday throughout the day, probably even forgot that you exist. It made you feel unwanted, feeling even sadder than you were earlier.
At least Biscuit, your new kitty friend, is here to cheer you up, although he reminded you of Childe, at least you had company for the day.
You planned this day for a month, spend all morning making food, got all your shit together cause you thought that today was the day that you set your foot down, that you were actually gonna confront him and tell him to at least make a bit of time for you, especially on days like this. You actually thought you could make him choose you over his job.
'Yeah, I thought maybe I was actually important to him.'
You pressed your knees up to your chest, hugging them as you felt a few loose tears escape your eyes. Whatever, all those things you've planned were probably too cheesy anyway, he probably would've said no even if he had the option.
You just beat yourself up. You looked at the cat beside you on your couch, just chilling there, no problems with a very workaholic boyfriend who forgets birthdays. You wish you were a cat.
You then looked out the window, the night sky glimmering with so many stars.
The meteor shower!
You forgot about that, even if you can't watch it with Childe, you were still very excited for it. That's what made you plan this day in the first place. You jumped out of your seat gaining the attention of Biscuit.
"Do you wanna go stargazing with me?"
The cat meowed at you, your new found excitement radiating onto him.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
"Finally done." Childe slouched back at his chair, finally done with today's paperwork.
He looked at his wall clock, nine o'clock, you were probably still awake. Tomorrow, he could probably take you to a date, to make up from what happened today.
He walked out of the bank, ready to head back to your place, where he usually stays at when he's in Liyue.
Walking to the streets of the city, he saw Zhongli seemingly confused by something.
"Mr. Zhongli! You're out this late?" He greeted the consultant.
"Ah, Childe. I was just about to head home. But I just saw Y/N sprinting with cat in their arms." The dark haired man looked at the Harbinger with confusion. "Seems they're in a hurry."
Childe is equally confused, what the hell were you doing? "I don't really know what they're up to." The redhead answered.
Zhongli nodded. "Well, if you don't mind me asking, how was today? I supposed you planned some kind of expensive, over the top gesture for Y/N's birthday?" The consultant asked with a chuckle, and immediately after, Childe's eyes grow wide in shock.
"U-Uh... W-what day is it today Mr. Zhongli?"
Is that why you had something planned for the both of you today?! Childe felt like punching himself, he forgot your birthday! He's been so busy, he didn't even know what day is it.
Zhongli can't help but laugh, "So a cat has given them more attention than their own lover?"
Childe glared at him, "Just tell me where they went."
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
The shooting stars lit up the sky beautifully.
Lying down onto the blanket you've brought, you watched the shower of stars as you lay on the top of Mt. Tianheng.
You looked at the cat next to you, sleeping instead of looking up, you smiled a bit.
"At least you're here to keep me company." You whispered, while star gazing, you still couldn't help but just wish that he was here, instead of drowning himself in workload that doesn't seem to go away.
"Room for one more?" You jumped at the voice of the man you were just thinking about.
You looked behind you, seeing a smiling Tartaglia holding a wrapped up gift.
"W-what?" You felt you heart leap with joy, he's actually here. You weren't just hallucinating with sadness, right?
He walked closer to you, offering you the gift box in his hand. You accepted the gift, patting the space next to you, signaling him to sit down.
You lied back down, sighing deeply. He did the same, interlocking your hands together.
"I'm sorry." He said, as you both looked up at the starry sky.
"You should be." You answered truthfully, giggling a bit. He chuckled, giving your hand a soft squeeze.
"I did plan a lot of things for today." You stated, "Didn't go to plan though. Maybe next year?" You questioned, looking back him, just to see that he was already starting at you.
"You shouldn't have to wait that long because of my forgetfulness." He answered, sitting back up and looking at your relaxed state. "How about I have two days off a week, just so we could have more time together?" You liked that idea.
"Okay." You whispered, looking back up at the meteor shower. He lied back down beside you, hugging you softly.
"Me and Biscuit already out the food for the picnic though."
#genshin impact x reader#childe x reader#genshin impact childe#genshin impact fluff#genshin impact angst#genshin impact
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Diamonds | K. Brekker
pairing; kaz brekker x female!reader
warnings: cursing, I think that’s it
wc; 2.3K
synopsis: dirtyhands doesn’t need anyone, but he wants you, even if he can’t have you
prompts:
001: “why do you care?”
047: “please just let me in.”
a/n: this went in a very different direction then I planned but I love it??
Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List
—
Kaz Brekker was a lot of things.
Emotionally unavailable was one of them.
But you never thought much of it. You didn’t think less of him because of that. Surviving the barrel meant being cold, ruthless, and cunning.
Everyone had to have some dark side to them. It was a given.
But Kaz’s dark side never turned off. He was always in a constant state of brooding, thinking about all the ways the plan could fail or coming up with a new heist.
His brain never shuts off.
You never considered that a bad thing, but everyone has to rest eventually.
But rest wasn’t a word in Kaz’s dictionary. For him, resting meant thinking about other things.
Things that he wanted to forget.
So he busied himself with work, numbers, and other things to push the other thoughts out of his mind. Sometimes they were about Jordie and the harbor, sometimes they were about Rollins or you.
Kaz never wanted to forget you, but he didn’t want to think about you either. About the way, your lips curved up into a smile every time Jesper threw his arm around you. Or the way you throw your head back every time Nina makes a joke, the way you sit patiently with Wylan when he tries to read, the way you train so gracefully with Inej, and the way you make fun of Matthias’ accent.
He wants to push it all out of his mind because he doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t get how he manages to notice every detail about you.
It would cost him eventually, which is why he didn’t think about it. It’s why he tried to busy himself with things that have nothing to do with you.
But sometimes, it doesn’t always work out that way.
It was moments like these where Kaz is in a constant state of don’t fuck up and don’t say anything.
Which never goes in his favor.
The plan was simple, break-in and walk-out. There were three separate sections to the museum, and the event kept everyone pretty busy.
All you had to do was get in, steal a few jewels and then blend in with the crowd for the rest of the night.
It should be easy enough.
You all dress in your best attire, at least, the best attire that wouldn’t slow you down if you have to run. Kaz’s breath hitches in his throat when he sees you. Silky fabric, exposed skin, and all your beauty.
He nods at you as you fall into step behind him.
“You look nice,” You said.
“Thank you. So do you.”
You all find yourself in an ally by the museum as Inej scales the roof for her way in. You know she’s successful when the back entrance pops open, and she leans against the door frame with a satisfied smile on her face; her green dress trails along the floor as you make your way inside.
Bright fluorescent lights illuminate the hallway, and the sound of heels and Kaz’s cane echo down it. Kaz pick locks the three doors with ease, signaling for the groups of you to go in.
Matthias and Nina are responsible for the smaller riches, Inej, Wylan, and Jesper take care of replacing them, and you and Kaz get the big stuff.
The room sparkles with diamonds, almost blinding you. To Kaz, it smells like money. For each piece stolen, the two of you replace it with a cheaper place holder.
By the time anyone noticed, you would be gone.
You grab a ring off a stand, slipping it on and examining it in the light.
Kaz coughs, and you turn to face him.
He holds the most expensive piece in his hand, a diamond necklace.
It’s worth more than a quarter of a million kruge.
“Woah,” you breathe out. The diamonds are arranged in such a way that it sits close to the neck, and looks like small interconnected leaves.
“Wear it,” Kaz said.
“Kaz-”
“You would look… pretty with it,” The last part is barely above a whisper.
“Okay,” You agree, taking the piece from his hands. Your fingers barely brush his gloved ones as you take the necklace, clasping it around your neck.
Then, Kaz steps back. “I think we got most of it.”
You can’t take all of the riches, but you can take enough to make some serious bank. You exit the room, Kaz locking it after, and meet back in the hallway with everyone else. Inej and Nina both drip in equal expenses and gasp when they see your necklace.
“I almost want to keep it,” You said, touching the diamonds.
“It does look stunning on you,” Nina said.
“I’m sure we have enough to keep that piece,” Inej said, gesturing to the jewelry between you all.
“I do not understand the need for stones to prove one’s worth,” Matthias said.
Nina pats his shoulder, “It’s like you Fjerdans and your fur coats.”
"Witch," Matthias mumbled under his breath.
Kaz takes the lead, directing you to the main room. You can hear the sounds of people chattering, classical music floating in the air. You all split into smaller groups, mostly pairs, to avoid detection.
You and Kaz stay towards the center of the room, observing everyone else and waiting till the event ends.
As Kaz’s eyes sweep the ballroom, yours sweep over his face, familiarizing yourself with his features.
He has sharp cheekbones, fair skin, and a pointed nose. His lips are drawn down into the softest frown, and there are bags under his dark eyes. His eyebrow twitches ever so slightly whenever he sees someone he doesn’t like, and he runs a gloved hand through his hair, slicking it back more if it’s possible.
He was beautiful.
After a few more moments of mingling, they prepare to bring the jewelry out on display. You and Kaz back towards the exit, just in case something goes wrong.
The fake one sparkles just the same, and a clear difference can’t be seen. It’s only glass that Wylan had managed to craft by himself.
The servant gulps, taking careful steps with the case in his hand. His hands shake, and as he takes the first step up the stairs, he stumbles.
It shatters.
The glass scatters across the floor, the fake necklace you planted aside does the same, the pieces landing everywhere.
You can practically feel Kaz tense next to you when the crowd gasps; actual diamonds wouldn’t break.
“Don’t move,” Kaz whispers. He makes a hand gesture to the rest of the Dregs around the room that means remain still. “Act just as surprised.”
On any other occasion, it would be easy, but when the original necklace is dangling from your neck, it’s like an open target for anyone with eyes. Murmurs flow through the crowd, but no one pays any mind to the Dregs because you all look like you belong here. They’re looking for the black sheep among the white.
But they all look just the same.
“We will be conducting manual searches,” The guards announce.
“Saints,” You whisper, hand instinctively grabbing the diamonds on your neck.
“Plan B,” Kaz said. He meets Jesper’s eyes across the room, nodding his head, and Jesper smirks. He grabs one of his revolvers, firing a single shot and tucking it away before anyone notices. The crowd screams, everyone rushing to the exits as more shots are fired from various parties (some from Jesper, some from guards, or others who just love chaos).
You all make a run for it, using the main exit where guards were desperately trying to keep everyone in.
You watch Inej slip through with ease, Nina and Mattias next. Jesper gets held up, but he managed to talk his way out of it as Wylan tugs on his sleeve.
You and Kaz are last, taking your time to avoid being pushed in by the crowd. You could run ahead, get out before Kaz, but you don’t.
You stay by his side and maintain the slow pace, even when there’s a quarter of a million kruge hanging from your neck.
As you approach the exit, you’re one foot out when someone grabs your arm.
“I got her!” The guard shouts. He starts dragging you back inside as you try to dig your heel into their foot.
Then, in the span of a second, a cane comes down on his arm, a clear snap ringing out.
You stumble from their grasp, unknowingly using Kaz’s shoulder to steady yourself. He hisses but says nothing more because as soon as you notice, you let go.
“Nina!” You scream as the guards come pouring out the entrance.
It was clear who the target was.
The heartrender holds up her hands, effectively dropping their beat, but you underestimate how many there are.
“Run!” Jesper shouts.
And you do as you’re told. The guards open fire, and you bunch your dress in your hands, running through the streets of Ketterdam. Kaz begins to fall behind, and you slow down your pace.
“Jes, throw me a revolver!”
“What?”
“Throw it!”
Wylan rolls his eyes, fishing the gun from his boyfriend’s pocket and tossing it at you.
“What are you doing?” Kaz said.
“Saving your ass!” You reply.
“I don’t need your saving!” Kaz retorts, glaring at you.
You roll your eyes, “Fine, I’m covering you.”
“I don’t need that either.”
“Kaz-”
“I don’t need you!”
You nod, turning away from him to hide the hurt on your face. “No, of course, you don't."
You fire a single shot at a guard, busying yourself in taking a few out, so Kaz doesn’t get hit. When he’s a good way ahead, you sprint after the rest of the Dregs. You see the tail of Jesper’s coat disappear down an alleyway.
You fire one last round of shots and duck behind it. You move past Kaz, catching up with Jesper and thanking him.
He smiles, bumping your shoulder. “Anything for the lady.”
The slat is in sight, and you sigh in relief, happy to rest and unload all the jewels everyone is dripping in.
You could only imagine the amount of kruge you’d come up with.
Jesper opens the door for the Dregs, and you all practically collapse on the couch. You Nina and Inej are all on one, kicking off your heels.
“I hate heels,” You said.
“You’re telling me,” Inej replied. “Never again.”
Nina shrugs, “Annoying as hell, but they do work in place of a knife every now and then.”
“I am never without my knives.”
“We know.”
Kaz walks past you all, limping a bit worse than usual and going up to his office.
You don’t bother following after him. Instead, you all dump the jewelry on the table.
“Oh, saints,” Inej gasped.
Jesper leans back in his seat, “I think we’re set.”
“You’ll gamble it all away before we even cash it in,” Matthias said as Jesper scoffed.
“It’ll take me at least a few months to lose that.”
“Months?” Wylan asked.
“Like six tops.”
Everyone begins to argue, and you tune them out. You forgot about the most expensive piece hanging from your neck, absentmindedly playing with it. When you remember, you figure the best thing to do with it is give it up to Kaz.
With a sigh, you stand up, the fabric of your dress falling back into place.
You don’t bother knocking on his door, you know you should, but you didn’t care all that much.
“Here’s your necklace,” You said bitterly, dropping it on his desk.
“(Y/N)-”
“A quarter of a million kruge, enough to set you for life. That’s all you need, isn’t it?”
“I didn’t mean that.”
“Sure felt like it,” You snap.
“I just-,” Kaz sighed, avoiding your gaze. “Keep the necklace.”
“I don’t want it.”
“You don’t?” Kaz asked, eyebrows raised. “I thought you liked it. You should have it if that’s the case.”
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t.”
You click your tongue, “Keep the fucking necklace, Kaz.”
Kaz curses himself, tugging at his hair. He was making the situation much worse. He didn’t know what to say that wouldn't piss you off. He thought the necklace would be like a peace offering, a sign of his thanks.
It backfired on him.
He’s bordering the line of being cold or grateful. When grateful didn’t work in his favor, he went for the other.
“I want you to have it.”
“I don’t want it.”
“Please, take it.”
“It’s worth money. That’s far more important to both of us.”
Kaz shuts his eyes, “(Y/N), please.”
And you know this isn't about the necklace anymore. It never really was.
You shake your head, crossing your arms over your chest. You were tired of pretending to brush off your feelings. It was killing you. Every time you tried to do something, Kaz pushed you back. You couldn't keep doing this to yourself.
“You either want this, or you don’t. Which one is it?”
“Please,” he said softly.
You sigh, blinking harshly. Your heart hammers in your chest. You take a breath, trying to calm yourself.
“Kaz, I need you,” You said softly, “Please just let me in.”
“I can’t,” He said, voice strained as he fights his demons. God, he wants to, but he's scared. He's scared of pushing you away or hurting either of you in the process. He couldn't go through that kind of loss again.
“I will wait,” You said. “I will wait as long as you need. I just need to know that you’re in this too.”
Kaz meets your eyes. His are glassy as he holds the necklace tightly in his hands, running his gloved fingers over the diamonds.
He could lose you.
And that is far worse than not having you at all.
He slowly peels his gloves off. His movements are slow and deliberate, taking his time. When they’re off, he grabs the necklace and stands up.
You hold your breath as he stands behind you, brushing your hair out of the way. His fingers just barely dance across your skin, but they’re there.
He clasps the necklace, and you turn around to face him.
“Kaz?” You question.
“I need you too, (Y/N).”
“I’m not leaving," You assure him.
“Good. We’re in this.”
“We’re in this.”
#IM OBSESSED WITH HIM#I love kaz#I am speedrunning this requests#hehe#kaz brekker fanfic#kaz brekker x you#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker fluff#kaz brekker imagine#kaz brekker one shot#kaz brekker angst#kaz brekker#grishaverse#six of crows imagine#six of crows#soc#crooked kingdom#shadow and bone#s&b
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