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#sometimes as much as I have gained I get so overwhelmed by all that I feel that I have lost
loonylupinblack3 · 1 month
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First Win
Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader
Summary: in which Lando's first win helps the two of you finally get together
Warnings: swearing, my utter HAPPINESS AND AWE THAT LANDO WON, also not edited bc i wanted to post it as soon as possible
Word count: 1.1k
A/N: you guys dont UNDERSTAND how fucking happy i am im literally sobbing oh my GOD
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You were pushing your way through the crowd, trying to find Lando, all the while your heart was fucking soaring. You were so proud of him, probably one of your closest friends, finally achieving this incredible success in his career. He deserved all of it and more, and you were so proud of him.
Getting P8 yourself, you weren’t upset with your score, though you could have done better, but it seemed insignificant compared to Lando’s win and how excited you were for him. You knew you probably wouldn’t get to talk to him until much later; he was the star of the day, a very busy man with hundreds of people demanding his attention, but you hoped for at least a look of him, maybe if you were lucky a smile, to show your utter joy of him winning.
The grid was packed, however, and even with your status as a driver it was still a challenge getting through the swarms of people. You pushed and shoved, mumbling apologies, almost desperate to see your friend before he went on the podium.
You and Lando were close. Even for co-workers you guys had a special relationship. You just clicked, able to understand each other without having to work for it. Even only actually knowing each other for a few years you felt you’d known him for a lifetime.
Sure, there may have been some… other feelings towards him that you harboured, but you refused to let them risk your friendship with Lando so you kept them hidden, shoved deep inside you and pretended to be ignored, even though in reality they seemed to have a chokehold on you.
You didn’t know if Lando felt the same and honestly weren’t sure if you wanted to know. You already had this incredible relationship with him, this understanding you shared with no one else, and you weren’t willing to risk it for anything, even to end the aching longing you felt sometimes when looking at him.
You finally managed to push your way through the crowd, now at the edge of a couple fences blocking the part of the grid where only certain F1 employees were able to be. Usually you wouldn’t have been able to go, what with you receiving an eighth position and not a podium, but you were determined to see Lando closer, maybe even give him a quick hug.
You were just so fucking proud of him, and you didn’t know what to do with the overwhelming feeling. He’d opened up to you multiple times in the past, confessing his feelings of failure, of being unable to get a win and how much that affected him, how shameful he was because of it. You knew how much his lack of wins haunted him and his career, so to gain a win, to achieve something like this, it was truly amazing, and your pride for him was overflowing. 
You managed to wheedle your way through the fences, using your driver status and known close friendship with Lando to your advantage, slipping through and immediately looking around for the Miami Grand Prix winner.
You followed the sound of cheering, rounding a corner to find the massive group of Mclaren employees behind a small fence, with Lando on top of them crowd surfing, laughing and looking like the happiest man alive.
Today he was exactly that.
You stood to the side, grinning like a maniac seeing Lando so happy. Your heart was near bursting, you couldn’t stop smiling even if you wanted to. You stayed silent though, not wanting to drag attention to yourself and get kicked out, but seeing him so fucking happy was more than enough for you.
So when Lando distractedly glanced around, a joyous smile on his face, and saw you, his smile widening, your heart warmed. You told yourself it was nothing big, but when he left his team to walk over to you, jog over, actually, your smile turned even bigger.
“Congratulations,” you exclaimed before leaping into his arms, wrapping your own tightly around his neck. His own hands came up to hug you back, holding you tightly against him. “I’m so fucking proud of you Lando.”
Lando squeezed you tighter, still not letting go. You were more than content to stay in his arms, pressing your head into the crook of his neck, ignoring the flashing cameras that would be following Lando for the rest of the day.
When the two of you eventually pulled back, however reluctantly, Lando was beaming. He looked gorgeous like that, genuinely happy, nothing able to bring down his mood. He was riding the high of winning, still heavily influenced by the adrenaline pumping through his veins.
Maybe what was why he kissed you, in front of millions of people, taking them and you by surprise. Or maybe it was because he was having the perfect fucking day, and having you in his arms would have made it all the more better.
Either way you were certainly taken off guard as Lando stared at you for a split-second, eyes tracing your face before they landed on your lips, and then the next second he was leaning in and pressing his lips against yours.
There was an onslaught of noise as he did it, the cameras going crazy, people yelling and cheering, yet it was all distant. All you could focus on was Lando’s soft lips against yours, dragging his mouth across your own.
You kissed him back without thinking, your hands snaking back around his neck. His hand gripped your waist, tugging you closer as he deepened the kiss, his tongue flicking your lower lip and forcing you to swallow a moan lest you want the whole world to hear it.
Lando had the gall to grin against your lips, no doubt hearing your gasp before you could muffle it completely. You pulled back, giving him a ‘what the fuck man’ stare and he just shrugged, keeping his hand firmly around your waist.
You shook your head but your emotions were in overdrive, everything inside you screaming for more. You pressed your head into the crook of his neck again, hearing his soft chuckle as his hands roamed your back.
“We are having a very serious talk after this,” you whispered in his ear.
He paused, before whispering back, “good or bad?”
You pulled back to stare at Lando, his curls sticking to his forehead from sweat, his eyes alight with an excitement you hadn’t seen in a while, his face slightly red from exertion and happiness.
You smiled at him. “Definitely good.”
Lando grinned and pulled you back for another kiss, blatantly ignoring the paparazzi around you. He murmured into your lips, “I’m so fucking lucky.”
You couldn’t help but ask, “how so?”
He grinned against your lips again. “Winning the race and the girl in one day.”
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earthgangs · 2 years
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I feel so angry
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my frustration with “going nonverbal/nonspeaking” (as a fully nonverbal person)
transcript: my frustration with “going nonverbal/nonspeaking” (as a fully nonverbal person)
this written for instagram because of this post. but thought tumblr may like it too. “you” means general you, no one specific.
the instagram post and this on wordpress
this disclaimer is for instagram but also for anyone new to this discussion:
in full honestly, don’t know how to write this. am tired, language and complex ideas too much at time of writing, and general exhaust at having to argue same thing over and over again and justify own existence. tired of being minority within minority, wish there are others to do these work for me so i don’t have to do it all by self, singlehandedly advocate for everyone (not to mention problem with that—i can’t speak for everyone).
so honestly, if you don’t have anything nice to say, especially if you speaking (yes, even if you lose speech. include you), just don't say anything at all. move on.
online actually autistic community (AAut) dominated by white, lower support needs. level 1, speaking, late diagnosed, high masking autistics. find people like you is great, what not great is you treat your very narrow community as “voice of all autistic” and your experience as ultimate autistic experience. i write plenty about that, many more elaborate than this, if you not familiar with this concept.
many people in this community experience times when cannot speak, sometimes because overwhelm, shutdown, dissociate, or anxiety (situational mutism), but do not struggle with act of speaking rest of time (some struggle with speech all the time but still can speak - more on that later). the community call “going nonverbal/nonspeaking,” or even “when i am nonverbal nonspeaking” (not talking about those nonverbal as child and verbal now older), after clinical term “nonverbal” (nonverbal autism) and term coined by apraxic nonspeaking autistics “nonspeaking.”
both of which talk about it as an “all the time” experience.
when i search nonverbal or nonspeaking because i want community too, want see people like me too, two category i see: 1) parents of nonverbal nonspeaking children, whom can’t relate to because age, who can’t write own experience because their age and developmental ability. and 2) overwhelming amount of speaking autistic talk about going nonverbal going nonspeaking.
and the very very few fully nonverbal nonspeaking voices. drowned out. cannot find anyone.
nonverbal used to be term to describe us, people who can’t speak or cannot functionally speak beyond few words. medical term, alright, so some of us don’t like. so some of us reject that and create term all of our own, called nonspeaking. created by nonspeaking autistics with severe apraxia and brain body disconnect, describe their own experience of able to think in words able to spell out words (with great dedication and work and support), just cannot do that with mouth. their term. they create.
and you take it? without knowing context? without reading anything by those same nonspeaking coiners?
when is last time you purposely seek out nonverbal nonspeaking voices? when is last time you accidentally came across us? can you name any nonverbal nonspeaking advocate that talk about their experiences? one? two? three? a BIPOC person, a (specifically) Black person? a Black woman? a trans person? a physically disabled person? a person not from western world?
same narrative over and over. “i can speak for nonverbal autistic i understand their experience because i am autistic i can’t talk sometimes” no you cannot. as someone who was able to speak when young who lose speech (”go nonverbal”) but now have no speech to lose because full time nonverbal. no the experience not the same. not comparable. you gain it back. i don’t. you can explain with mouth words what happen when you get out. i can’t, i only have AAC. countless nonverbal nonspeaking people without AAC or sign cannot, at all. you never experience daily small and big struggle of casually being nonverbal all the time.
your experience of lose speech unique from my nonverbal. but if you so insist to compare and equate, you only guest to my experience, my daily life.
“when i go nonverbal and no one understand so have to force to speak” i cannot force words out. know you don’t mean to say this, and not saying you at fault for this, but nevertheless accidental perpetuate and reinforce idea that anyone who don’t speak can just be forced to speak if try hard enough. but often not how it works. and this exact harmful rhetoric devoid and delays nonverbal nonspeaking people given access to AAC, because “need try to force words out first, AAC unnatural so last resort.”
this may be new concept for you. new concept to instagram, to tiktok. to other places. it may seem i only one with this problem, “i once saw a nonspeaking person’s account and they don’t have problem.”
yeah, because we are not monolith. some nonverbal nonspeaking people don’t care. some nonverbal nonspeaking people may even welcome “go nonverbal nonspeaking” or “when i am nonverbal nonspeaking.”
but don’t be fooled into believe i only one. have many nonverbal/nonspeaking and/or higher support needs friends on tumblr, who talk about this who have been saying this for years. *years*. years before i joined. i am not creator, i only bring message here, because many of us are too high support needs too disabled to do anything else. many of us only stay on our small corner of tumblr because it most peaceful, because at least some listen, because least hostile, because need to defend our experience against our own community the least. (but it happens less doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, we still exhausted.) many of us only stay on our small corner of tumblr because that all we can handle, or because we not allowed or shouldn’t be on other social media because age or abilities or both.
i cannot handle conflict i do not do well and i shouldn’t be here. but if not me, who else? if i don’t do it, who else is going to?
some nonverbal nonspeaking people and parents of them may question, why you start debate about useless term when so many nonverbal nonspeaking people don’t even have access to communicate, real problems. to that i say i do those work too. and to that i say this is real problem too, because am autistic so online actually autistic community should also be my space too but it not. but it hostile. because am lonely because seeing yourself so crucial because don’t know anyone in person like me don’t have any friends in person like me, so i go online to find people like me and i cannot because no own term to search and what used to be term many people without similar experience insist they understand and can speak for me because they say we have similar experience. because this aloneness and the unique difficulty from being full time nonverbal and the struggle of future and the unique mistreatment from both outside but also inside community have drove me over edge many times and it is presence and knowing their presence of my tumblr nonverbal nonspeaking / higher support needs friends that gave me hope to stay. because so many people don’t listen and instead speak over. terminology only a symptom of problem. address roots, sure, but part of address roots is address symptoms.
‘well nonverbal people are never around” maybe it because you don’t make it welcome for us to join.
“fully nonverbal rare anyway” estimated 30% of us nonverbal nonspeaking, which this statistic probably only count those nonverbal since birth. even more are minimally speaking or without full functional communication, abilities limited to requests. sure, 30% still not majority. but significant amount never the less. speaking lower support needs autistic without intellectual disability not majority anyway too but your experience still deserve heard. ours too.
“see less nonverbal people because they don't have ability to communicate and use social media” yes, many nonverbal nonspeaking people not given access to communication (like AAC), forced to live in silence (because body language communication not enough alone!). silence from birth to teenage years, to adulthood, even until they die. some cannot understand social media or AAC because intellectual disability or cognitive ability. some not allowed on there because safety, some not allowed on because presumed incompetent and abused. all true. do you advocate for them too? or is it just talking point against me, pretend you care?
but not all of us, we exist. some of us thankfully supportive parents all along, parents given resources, us given resources, so we access to AAC since beginning. some of us became nonverbal later in life (which not same experience as those early in life, i acknowledge). some of us after years of forced silence, finally given access to AAC and can now communicate and advocate! some of us on social media - do you listen?
but you see none of us in your community anyway. maybe one token person.
you can go nonverbal. i cannot go verbal. see difference? you can come close to my experience, but i never will have (future) ability to go to yours.
it frustrate that have to specify am nonverbal **all the time** when write this, because if don’t do that will be assumed otherwise. frustrate that when in neurodivergent space stranger see me AAC they assume i can speak because they only know part time users (know part time users frustrate too because people assume they cannot speak and get surprised when they do. me being assumed automatic part time is not fault of part time AAC users.)
even been told am privileged to be nonverbal nonspeaking, privilege over speaking autistic who lose speech because in their mind it mean i get all support i need i get all recognition get all the representation. which. couldn’t be farther from truth.
all that. is fraction of reason i frustrate at “going nonverbal nonspeaking” and “when i was nonverbal nonspeaking.”
so many other words. lose speech. intermittent speech.
just want have own sub community where can find people similar experience.
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blueparadis · 4 months
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~ :: ❛Electric Love ❜ :: ୨ content + warnings ୧ ~ f!reader, 3sum, dub-con, [un]protected sex, oral acts, use of pet names, specified tags with synopsis for each pairing utc, hc format; absolute filth that i havn't been able to get out of my mind. mdni & support banners by @/hitobaby· ʚ tag index. ɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝
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neuvillette + zhongli // syn : Two dragons who wandered the earth with certain purpose, stumbled upon a villager girl whose fate turned upside down when they laid eyes on her. // monsterfvcking, dubcon, double penetration.
If you had known that kindness would have you ended up being captured, chained and caged in a cave you would have never offered food and refuge to those young men. During days you were free to go anywhere and at night they would visit you, Zhongli and Neuvillette would talk and dine with you. And when the starts would bloom in the night sky they would slowly warm up to you, get cozy and handsy with you. Their touch definately had something, something boderly human yet compltely inhuman. Once, out of curiosity you tried to runaway, but ended up getting lost because everywhere you looked there were just vast stretches of forest whichever way you chose to go. Besides, if you wandered too far away from the cave the blue dragon would always bring you back to their nest.
At night, during the dark Zhongli would cover your eyes for a second with his hand and when he removed them all you witnessed was darkness. you can only feel them, the inhuman side of such affection. every time they visit you for mating, they would deprive you of your vision. You could feel their cool slippery skin against yours, long and powerful tongue licking your skin, sharp fangs digging your skin and marking you in your most intimate parts: inbetween your things, around your boobs, on your butt, and sometimes calf muscles. And when it is all over, you would wake up to a nest made of scales of different colors, but mainly blue and yellow, glowing in the dark, during the night providing you both warmth and light. But they never properly mated with you. It always ended up with overstimulating themselves with you; until that night when full moon shone at one starry night.
At that night, they did not blindfold you. Zhongli had your back against his chest as his golden-brown tail kept you in place, his hand toyed with your nipples while Neuvillette became busy in between your legs, his tail moving ocassionally as he slurped your juices. This is the first time your eyes are witnessing their inhuman form: to see them in this way after so many days was overwhelming and astonishing but not rebuking: all the while you could only feel them. You extended your hands to touch Neuvillette head but Zhongli grabbed both of your arms by the wrists. "Look at me, bunny." he commands, also gaining Neuvillette's attention. They share a moment of eye contact as he pulled you up, his cock nudging your entrance.
Neuvillette partly standing, on his knees, scooted closer speading your legs and pushing his cock inside you. His large, predatory hands that exhibitted so much strenght started touching your boobs so gently and so slowly. He has been playing with your tits for a while; your nipples are starting to itch and ache. His tongue wets his bottom lip as he twists and turns your taut nipples but he gives in finally. He hunches down to reach down to your boobs to suckle and mark them, like he usually does. Zhongli silences your moans and whines as he starts to buck his hips against yours.
Its wild how their cocks are grazing against each other inside of you as you slowly lose your vision. you can feel them being close, the cave being slowly full of echos of growls and moans, squelching of skins and low dragon squeals. You recognize the venus in the sky for a second. their wings flap open when the knot inside of you tightens, and a gush of cum leaks from between the skins when all of you climax together. They huff and pant, their cocks still throbbing inside you so does your body as they wait for their knot to slowly unwind. You are entirely covered by their wings, the scales from their body start to peel off and deposit to form a nest. They share a look before digging their fangs into your neck, both of them marking your neck, simultaneoulsy as you lull into deep slumber.
Next morning, you woke up naked, both of them curled up on either side of you. This is the first time they had spent the night as well as made it till dawn, their scales covering certain parts of your body and a stinging pain on both sides of your neck. Now you know they truly belong to you and only you, a sense of protection fills your heart as you run your hands over the both sides of your neck. An act of kindness that promised protection in return from any peril that your fate had to follow. What a gift! What a blessing life is!
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kaeya + dainsleif // syn : In the absence of the owner of Dawn Winery, Kaeya offers special services to the Bough Keeper, Dainselif // nipple stimulation, spit k!nk, voyeur!kaeya, exhibitionist!dansleif.
The moon smiles brightly along with the sparkling stars adorning the night sky. Lord Diluc has already left The Dawn Winery around evening properly telling you the instructions and procedures for each and every little thing. On top of that, he has given you the privilege to ask Kaeya for help if you need. The clock has struck midnight an hour ago yet Kaeya has been sitting in the same seat when he first turned up late in the evening, his eyes moving along with you as you work. If only Lord Diluc knew what Kaeya has been up to behind his back, then he would not have informed his brother about his absence tonight.
Taking off your apron as you turn around you are met by a drunk Kaeya up close, standing inches away from your body. “Darling, why are you in such a hurry?” He chins up your face to meet your gaze. “You weren't in such haste while working though. . .” As he trails he takes a sip from the wine bottle before inclining towards you.
“Lord Kaeya please, not here.” you whine but all he does is to pout, squeeze your cheeks. It is not like he has not fucked you before. He did. Multiple times in multiple positions. Sometimes those memories ravage through your mind whenever he shows up during work, gets you worked up; your hopes too and then leaves. He keeps the bottle on the slab behind you and slips his hand under your skirt.
As he pushes aside your panty, his squeeze onto your cheeks becomes stronger forcing your mouth open. “Lord Kaeya,mmm-mgh”
He lets a drop of spit mixed with wine drop into your mouth, eyes never leaving your before finally sucking your lips. A little wine spills through the corner of your mouth as his arms rests against the slab caging you in but it does not stay there much longer. You grab onto his collar returning the favour, tongue dancing against eachother as his hands squeezed your ass cheeks. You can feel yourself getting wet, nipples getting taut and tight, Kaeya’s lips has moved onto your neckline to your chest. He tears off your blouse spilling your breasts in the air. You quickly sit on the slab wrapping your arms around his neck but he continues teasing you by kissing over your neck, chest and around the nipples; and suddenly a chime freezes your heart.
A customer. Lord Diluc did mention a special guest would turn up after midnight which why you were being a dilly dally while working. A cresent blossoms over Kaeya’s face. His crotch is pressed against your feminity while you cling onto him out of shame, out of concern for being seen. He has not moved an inch since the customer stepped in
“we're already closed but I think we can offer special services.” He takes the bottle of wine and pours it over chest. “What do you think, Dainsleif?”
The customer approaches you slowly, one step at a time his eyes watch the crimson fluid stain your dress, drip down to your tummy. Kaeya licks off the wine from your chest, your cleavage still remains stained with red. The customer wipes off some of the wine running his index finger from your tummy up to your cleavage.
Lord Dainsleif is not an old customer of the master of Dawn Winery but he is a new customer to you. If anything you two shared was some accidental glances in past and now you two are going to share same air. The thought makes you welp.
“Not bad,” Dainsleif exclaims tasting the wine from his index-fingertip. His legs fold, knees touch the ground as Kaeya holds up your skirt for him. You still do not move, neither bother yo cover yourself up, but only look at Kaeya. “Tsk, focus.” he says before taking one of your nipples in his mouth and suckling hard enough make you bite your bottom lip as Dainsleif licks your pussy clean of wine.
Kaeya holds your hand, fingers interlaced as he watched Dainsleif eat you out. “C’mon darling, spread your legs. It would be rude to not to offer Mondstat hospitality to our guest, hmmm, don't you think?” Kaeya exclaims watching your eyes begging more of him as Dainsleif gets himself drunk on you. The night feels incredibly warm despite cold gusts of winter striking the city. The moonlight vanishes as the cluster of clouds shrouds the moon, enveloping g the stars; even such natural harbinger of time can not seem to bear such obscenity.
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mixtape-racha · 9 months
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like a virgin | choi soobin
you'd been together for so long, so why did soobin feel like an overwhelmed virgin every time he fucked you? // 18+, minors dni
words: 1.20k // warnings: dom!soobin, size difference, reader is described as short and petite, reader gets called "bunny", oral (m. receiving), horse cock soobin agenda
a/n: based on this request by 🎡 anon!! i hope you enjoy! ♡
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choi soobin was many things, but inexperienced was not one of them. it seemed everyone and their mother - sometimes quite literally - wanted nothing more than to cum on the cock of the nerd of a man down the street, and it truly did wonders for his confidence and abilities in bed.
so by the time he met you, juniors in college, both ancient greek history majors, he was well aware that he could ravish anyone who wanted it in bed. he just wasn’t expecting that anyone to be you. you, with your pretty face, and charming disposition. you, who - despite your protests and detest for the word - was “popular” on campus; friends with almost all cliques, never sticking to one social class or friendship group. you, y/n l/n.
when you approached him at a party, slightly buzzed, face flushed and a beer in hand, he was surprised to say the least. but that was nothing compared to how he felt when you told him you wanted him, wanted him more than you’d ever wanted anything. and not just in bed - oh no - you wanted all of him. the lazy mornings after a party, the impromptu dates because your class got canceled, the late-night coffee runs when you were studying for finals. it took all the alcohol in your system to gain the courage to come up to him and ask him on a date, but he was so, so thankful you did.
soon after, you started officially dating. soobin was over the moon to have bagged someone as perfect as you, and you were just thrilled that he actually liked you back, too. it was just a bonus that the sex was amazing, too. the first time you saw soobin’s cock, you eyes nearly bulged out of your head in shock. he was huge, and you were in absolute disbelief. you even had to take a moment to express your concerns to him that he would fit inside of you, which he just chuckled at - and soon proved you wrong. he had you creaming on his cock, drooling and eyes rolling back within minutes.
it was pretty much from that moment that an innate feeling woke deep within soobin. seeing your struggle to take him had him throbbing, and it even developed to the point that he’d get hard whenever someone mentioned your height difference. being a foot taller than you, and just so much bigger in every way, send him on a complete power trip. 
most of all, you loved watching how he fell apart when you sucked him off. something about him towering over you while you were on your knees had you dripping, so you couldn’t even begin to imagine how he felt.
he was sitting on the couch watching a shitty tv show that you didn’t understand how he found funny when you got bored, moving from your spot curled under his arms. he was confused, reaching out for you when you got up, his perfect lips forming a pout that almost had you going straight back to him. but instead you grabbed a cushion, placing it on the floor before nestling yourself between his legs. soobin had a habit of manspreading, so that gave you ample opportunity to seat yourself and rest your head on his plush thigh.
he honestly didn’t even question it, just resting a hand on your head and fussing with your hair occasionally. he was used to you putting yourself in odd positions for comfort, and just assumed the couch was hurting your back or something. of course, that soon changed when you swiveled around, facing him and looking up at him with those big doe eyes he loved.
“you okay down there, pretty?” he asked softly, eyes flitting between you and the tv screen which caused you to whine softly. “oh, you need attention, yeah? got yourself all comfy down there hoping i’d give you what you want?”
you nodded, the fabric of his jeans providing a strange comfort on your skin, and he grinned, eyes crinkling slightly. he thought you were so adorable, his perfect little bunny. and how could he deny you what you so desperately wanted? with a slight nod of his head and a tap of his thigh, you almost became rabid with the way you began clawing at his jeans, desperate to pull them down.
he was already half hard in his boxers just at your enthusiasm, hissing with his lip tucked between his lips as you pulled him out of his confines, too overwhelmed to even pull his jeans or boxers off properly.
you were always surprised by how big soobin really was, even half-hard. maybe caught off guard was better, but nonetheless it always made you wonder if you could fit him in any of your holes - although, clearly you could. you couldn’t help the way you licked your lips, wanting nothing more than for him to stuff himself in your throat, but you knew he’d make you work for that. so you settled for kitten licking the tip while looking up at him to watch his reaction.
he hissed at the contact, hips itching to buck up at the way you looked so at home between his legs. as much as he wanted to tell you to stop, to give you a night purely filled with your pleasure in mind only, he knew that you enjoyed giving head almost as much as - if not more - he enjoyed getting it.
you were quick to take as much of him as you could into your mouth, stretching your jaw as much as you could to fit around his impressive girth. he let out a low groan, head lolling back on the couch as you swallowed around him, wrapping your hands around the second half of his length that you couldn’t fit in your mouth.
you looked so small and delicate below him that soobin couldn’t help but wrap his fingers through your hair, guiding your head up and down his length. it took everything in him to not buck up into your mouth, not wanting to make you choke - even though it would be so fucking hot.
“fuck angel, feel like i’m gonna hit your lungs if im not careful.” he moaned, the idea making your eyes roll to the back of your head as you began grinding on the pillow below you, needing any form of release you could get. it felt like you had no more room in your throat, soobin’s cock taking up any space available. you hummed softly, the vibrations making his hips buck involuntarily, which in turn made you gag around him. he was quick to pull his length from your mouth, looking down at you in concern even when you whimpered and tried to go back.
“oh, come here, pretty,” he cooed, lifting you onto his lap, which you happily accepted. you straddled yourself on his thick thigh, instantly rocking your hips just like how you were on the pillow. he was so enamored with you, and he knew if he didn’t have you creaming on his cock in the next 5 minutes he might go insane.
“let me fuck you dumb, yeah?”
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taglist: join taglist here @pretty-racha @demetrisscarf @bangtancultsposts @watariisbestboy
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anticanonsposts · 5 months
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Early flirting/relationship things
(I'm just thinking out loud)
SFW:
i feel like when you first start to flirt with him he is kind of oblivious
talking to you already makes him so nervous so I think if you were intentionally being flirty he would already be so nervous that he wouldn’t notice
when you two do officially start going out…
he tends to make very prolonged eye contact when talking to you
especially when you guys go on more ‘traditional’ restaurant style dates 
like his eyes would NOT leave you 
defo from the beginning he pays for EVERYTHING 
even when he doesn’t fucking get anything
one time he invited you for coffee and pastries, you got there, and he didn’t order anything…
he said oh no I’m not hungry but like he wasn’t being rude, he wasn’t doing it for any other reason
but he still insisted on paying 
(he really just wanted an excuse to see you and used food) 
idk why but I feel like at the beginning he would be a little cautious about eating around you
i just feel like sometimes with social anxiety, eating in front of people can be more difficult
so i feel like he would eat a more ‘normal’ amount/portion instead of his normal much bigger amount
but his stomach would give him hell so usually after he took you out to lunch or something, on the drive home or wherever you were going next he’d ask if you wanted to stop somewhere for a ‘snack’ 
then he would eat a whole other meal 
he kept doing this until you were ordering at a restaurant once and you just touched his arm and said ‘is that all you want? Get more if you’re hungry babe’ 
and he realized he wasn’t as slick as he thought 
from then on he’s just your human garbage disposal 
any time you have left overs you don’t want, already taken care of 
considering he isn’t from the US (this only applies ig if y’all are living in the US) 
i always see people from the states go on vacation in other places and they lose weight because the food is better quality/better for you/less banned ingredients lol anywhere outside of the U.S.
i think the reverse would happen for König
one thing about him, guy likes to eat
so I think when he first comes here he’s a little overwhelmed by all of the snack/food options and would gain a decent amount of weight 
also regardless of where you guys live/where you are from/your heritage I think he would love learning about your cultural foods and your favorite foods, he would want to try everything 
not food related…
before moving in together, the guy would get so giddy whenever you spent the night with him
especially when you would forget or leave stuff at his house
it would brighten his day when you aren’t there and he sees something of yours, like a body care product, a perfume (which he would defo steal/hide forever), or a piece of clothing
in the most wholesome way possible, he would love being in bed with you 
just being cozy and feeling your body against his 
he would also start sleeping better the more you guys slept together 
i honestly don’t think he’s super picky about cuddle position, as long as you two are wrapped around each other in some way, he doesn’t give a fuck <3
NSFW: MDNI!!!
things that i think definitely happen before you guys’ first time together…
literally googles ‘how to eat pussy’
idk if I headcanon him as a virgin or not, considering I like to write about mid 20s him, more likely??
for sure he doesn’t have much relationship experience, like bullied, then 17 joined the military, not much opportunity there
but sex, maybe he’s had sex before, but either way would be really nervous about pleasing you 
first time together he really wants you to lead the way but honestly
he gets super into it very quickly and just gets obsessed with how you feel
basically devours your face and neck with his mouth 
when he is finally able to pull himself away he eats you out for so fucking long
at least 3 orgasms with is mouth/hands because he is nervous and making you cum makes him less nervous and because let's face it….dude has a third leg
he wants to make sure you are prepped enough that he won’t cause any discomfort 
i think he would be very attentive to facial expressions and body language during sex, so when you looked a little nervous after seeing how big he was he rushed to comfort you but you just said-
‘don’t worry, I’ll make it fit’ which ngl besides the amount of concern he had for you made him even more flustered 
i also think this man is just vocal in general, but ESPECIALLY at the beginning 
partly bc he wanted you to know it felt good but also because it was just so overwhelmingly good 
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lovelybluebirdie · 6 months
Text
Blood whispers
Astarion x gn!Reader 
Summary: On the night you almost killed him, Astarion promised to help you overcome your urges. When they suddenly threaten to overwhelm you again, he needs to take care of you.
Word Count: 2,8k
no warnings, hurt/comfort, fluff
AO3
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Travelling across the shadow-cursed lands had provided Astarion some valuable knowledge. Not only had he learned the meanings of the scars on his back, it was also revealed that the scheme behind the tadpole in his brain was far greater than he had initially anticipated.
These discoveries alone should have been enough to keep him adequately occupied, yet there had been another novelty: for the first time in his life he had developed genuine affection for someone. Namely for you, the softhearted adventurer with an undeniable saviour-complex. You had filled his chest with an unfamiliar warmth and therefore led him to great confusion - at least until his constant brooding had left the inevitable conclusion that you meant far more to him than a solely guarantee for his safety.
His plan with you had been calculated to serve his own needs. He needed protection, so he had aimed to lure you into a selfish alliance by gaining your trust and using his charm to get you on his side. 
As it turned out, this simple little plan of his had fallen apart rather quickly: not only had he come to truly care about you, he had also openly admitted these feelings to you. To his surprise, you had shared that you felt the same.
Even though Astarion wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing with you half the time or where all of this was leading - being with you was astonishingly nice. 
From the moment Astarion had told you about his failed plan, you had decided to be with each other without sleeping together. For the past centuries, sex had been merely a tool for him to collect victims for his former master, so it still brought up feelings of loath and disgust. 
With you, he experienced that there was more to intimacy than sex.
At first, the thought of forming a sincere connection had terrified him. What was he to do with you, and how could he be close to you in a real way - in a way that mattered?
But somehow, you made it easy for him. 
You had been considerate not to overwhelm him with your affection. It had been small steps: a single grasp for his hand, some soft kisses in the safety of your blanket or a heartfelt embrace in between all the fights and mischief that paved the way along your journey to free yourself from the tadpoles.
Sometimes you would read to him, his head resting comfortably in your lap, while your fingers formed circles through his curls. He adored the feeling of your body close against his back, leaving the sensation of your warm hands on his chest the last thing he would remember before he would fall into his nightly trance. 
You made him feel safe, and he found himself positively enjoying your time together.
Of course there had also been that other night. 
That night, when the fear over losing you to your darkness had scared Astarion more than any torture his former master could have ever inflicted on him.
You had woken him with a vigorous shake, eyes wide open and sheer panic in your voice. “We don’t have much time,” you would say, almost swallowing your tongue. “I’m going to kill the person I care about most – and it is you.”
Flattery aside, the threat of being murdered by his lover posed a fairly unpleasant way to be brought from his rest, so Astarion was forced to act fast. 
You had spent the night with your wrists tied up while he watched over you, ensuring that you faced no harm. On the next morning you were yourself again, but the whole ordeal had left its mark on both of you.
And that was another thing about you: despite being the kindest person Astarion had ever met, you were also the only one that was cursed to unwillingly bring a great deal of murder and despair into this world. 
Those violent urges would occasionally infest your mind with a strong yearn to kill and destroy. Gruesome thoughts, suddenly engulfing you with malicious intent - their origin unknown to you. When you resisted them, they would usually fade as quickly as they came, leaving you with a throbbing headache.
One might say that those were not exactly the best circumstances for a blossoming relationship, but Astarion was not particularly impressed by such assumptions. In fact, he had learnt that there was a certain comfort in sharing the burden of internal turmoil. Perhaps that was one of the reasons he had found himself drawn to you from the moment you had met.
Besides, Astarion was confident that you would find a way to rid yourself from these aggravating compulsions for good. After all, he had promised you on that fateful night - and even if he might exaggerate at times, he had meant every single word.
A light breeze rustled through the trees and brought him back from his thoughts. He sat next to his tent with a book in his hands and relished the last beams the sun would offer that day. The warmth was pleasant on his skin, especially after the long march that was behind him.
You and the rest of your companions had left the shadowlands a few days ago and were now heading towards Baldur’s Gate. After hiking through dense forests and small villages, you had decided it was time to make camp and continue your travels after dawn.
It was unusually quiet today. Perhaps the others were taking some time for themselves as well, he thought. You would probably gather around the fire later this evening, sharing some tales over a bottle of wine or discussing the next steps lying ahead of you. 
Astarion let his gaze wander, back from the other tents to a more secluded spot, where he found you. You were sitting in the grass, holding one arm out in front of you with a loaf of bread beside your feet. A small bird with bright orange feathers was fluttering excitedly around you. It seemed like you were about to toss it some crumbs, and it was impatiently waiting to get its beak full.
Astarion rolled his eyes. Typical. You would probably even share your food with some random animal if it meant starving yourself. 
Then again, it was also kind of adorable, he thought as his lips inevitably turned into a grin.
As he continued to watch you from afar, he realised that something was off about you. You weren't moving at all. 
That was odd. 
Your arm looked too stiff, slightly cramped even, and as he squinted his eyes to get a better look, he could see that your hand was clenched into a fist. It was as if you were forcing yourself to hold the position.
Astarion’s senses immediately sharpened.
He got up with haste, carelessly tossing his book aside and lunged towards you while calling out your name.
This was bad.
Uneasiness spread over his body like a rash, before he could even pinpoint what was going on with you. 
“My love, are you al-” The sentence stuck in his throat as he finally came to see you up close.
Your mouth was twitching, contorting your soft features into a grotesque grimace. You looked nothing like your usual self.
Astarion had seen this expression on you before.
His thoughts started to race, as he prepared himself to force you to the ground if necessary. He had no rope on him to restrain you, but in lack of a better solution his laces would have to do.
In any case, he would not let that thing take control over you.
He reached for your shoulder, bracing himself for the worst - but before he could grab you, your features already started to relax.
You must have snapped out of it. This was you again. 
You let your stiffened arm hang down and opened your fist, spilling the remaining crumbs on the floor. Instead of picking them up, the bird hastily flew away. Even the creature must have sensed that something was off.
Astarion let himself sink next to you in the grass and sighed. The danger had passed, it had not taken you.
“I wanted to feed it, I swear,” you explained between quivering lips. “But - my wretched brain almost made me kill this poor little thing.” Your hands were trembling, a deep misery resonating within your words.
A thick lump formed in Astarion’s throat as he noticed tears started to glisten in your eyes.
“I know, my love,” he said and rested his hand on your shoulder. “But remember, this isn’t you. And you brought the bird no harm.”
You swallowed hard and fixated him with your gaze. 
“Yes, this time. But what if I couldn’t have stopped myself? What if I would have killed it - just like that, without any other reason than my sick thoughts ordering me to?”
“Well, in that case…, “ Astarion replied and tapped his chin, “I assume Gale would have served you some poultry tonight. And I would’ve been glad to depend on blood for a chance, since you’d probably have to fight over that unfortunate little thing. I mean you have to admit, to fill the stomachs of our dear friends you should have aimed for something more substantial to mangle.” 
Astarion was no fool. This wasn’t just about you hypothetically killing that bird. Your urges evidently didn’t spare other living beings as well - including himself. This was serious, and yet he felt the need to cheer you up over some silly remark, as you would often find solace in your shared banter. While it was certainly not his best attempt to brighten the mood, it was an attempt nonetheless.
To his satisfaction, you huffed a quick chuckle that finally caused the tears in your eyes to spill over. 
“You’re pretty macabre, you know that?” you scolded and slightly shook your head.
“Am I now? Darling, I’m hurt,” he exclaimed in exaggerated dismay, before a genuine fondness took over his voice. “But honestly, I’m truly proud of you. I can only imagine the force that overwhelms you in those moments, and yet… You’ve proven more than once that you’re stronger than this.” He let his fingers gently brush over the wetness covering your cheeks. 
The gravity of the situation appeared to reclaim you with pressing weight, wiping off the faint smile at his clumsy attempt. You turned your head away from him.
“Astarion… I understand if you would hate me for this.” It was no more than a mumble coming from you, but enough to take Astarion aback. 
He gave his answer fast, almost instinctive.
“No, I could never hate you.” 
It was true. That he could never, not when there was so much about you to love. But somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to say this out loud to you, not yet at least. 
Instead, a tight knot formed in his chest, as he watched your eyes focusing the space between your feet while you let out a quiet sob.
“My love, look at me.” He spoke softly as he reached out for you. With the utmost tenderness, he cupped your face in his hands and made your eyes meet his. “The other night, when you almost drenched my curls in a veil of the beautiful red of my blood, I made you a promise. You remember, don’t you?”
You nodded with your face still resting between his slender hands, as another quiet sob spilled from your lips. 
“Good. And I mean it still. We will get you through whatever the hells this is. We are in this together.” 
His voice trembled despite the honesty that fueled his words. Astarion had no intention to abandon you, the same way you had sworn to help him with his own demons. But this was not about him, this was about you.
You shifted a little closer and wrapped your arms around him - tentatively, almost hesitant at first, until you drew him into a tight embrace.
Your body was warm and pleasant against his, and he would let you hold him - not only because you needed this, but because he wanted to.
“It's okay my sweet, I’ve got you,” he whispered while he cradled you in his arms and let his lips graze against your temple.
Your fingers clutched the collar of his shirt while he breathed words of comfort over the sobs that escaped your throat. 
For now, there was no need for anything else, only him holding you while you cried.
Had he not already sworn to rid you of this affliction, he would tell you over and over again like a broken record, until he made sure that every inch of your body was certain about it.
Eventually you would clear your throat and look up to him. Your face was still wet from your tears, but there was also a glimmer of hope to be found. 
“Thank you. For believing in the good in me, I mean. Despite all of this.” 
“Well, who else would I believe in if not my brave little fool over here?” Astarion said and put a quick kiss to your hair. “Besides, I have no intention of dying again, so ridding yourself from this murderous condition might align with that rather splendidly.”
Your lips curled to a smile, only to be immediately disrupted by a pained groan that left your mouth and made you wince in Astarion’s arms.
“How bad is it?” he asked with concern as he glanced at you.
Another wince. “Honestly? Like my skull was split open with an axe,” you replied with a sharp exhale. “But it’s not the worst I ever had. I’m sure it’ll pass any minute.”
You pushed your fingers to your eyes and stretched your neck upwards, causing Astarion to doubt your words.
He knew that those headaches came with your affliction. Sometimes they would dissolve rather quickly, other times they got so worse that you had to lie down and he would fetch you a cloth drenched in the coldest water he could gather. 
The urgent need to comfort you rose in him again, so he put his hands on your face and slowly pulled you towards him until he could feel your breath on his skin. Then he carefully rested his brow against yours.
That was the best he could think of for now. He closed his eyes and felt your familiar warmth spreading onto him, hoping that he would spend you some soothing coldness.
You remained like this for a moment, the only sound coming from your steady breath. 
Astarion eventually lifted his brow and placed the softest kiss on its former place, right where he assumed your pain was sitting. With his hands, he reached for the back of your neck, giving it a gentle massage.
Your eyes remained closed while you let out a silent moan. You seemed to relax from his touch, the dampness on your skin bathing your handsome features in a light shimmer.
There was this sensation again, something Astarion only had with you. A prickling flutter, spreading from his chest all over his body.
What had you done to him that made him so blissfully light and at the same time would completely sweep him off his feet? Had his heart still pumped blood, Astarion was sure it would beat up to his neck right now. 
“Gods, you’re beautiful.” His adoration made him almost stumble over his words, but he needed you to hear them. 
Then he kissed the tip of your nose, before his lips would finally find yours. You tasted soft and sweet, making him longing to have more of you. Heat rose to his ears as his tongue gently curled around yours, while your hand stroked through his hair, pulling him closer to you. He couldn’t stop his lips from forming a loving smile over your pleasant warmth, before they met yours again for another tender kiss. There was no tadpole, no Cazador, nor the darkness in you. This moment belonged to you and him alone - and every touch was right.
He finished your kiss with another quick peck to your forehead and cleared his throat. “I do rather like that, you know.” 
“That’s pretty convenient,” you whispered with fondness in your eyes, “because I think that actually helped. My head feels light again.” 
“I'm glad,” Astarion murmured with relief. “Is there anything else you need? Just tell me, and I’ll get it for you.”
“For now, all I need is your presence,” you replied before resting your hand on his cheek. “Knowing that you'll stay with me.” 
“Of course, my love,” Astarion assured as he graciously sunk against your palm. “You’re not alone in this, you have me. And I’m not going anywhere.”
And it was true. It was a promise, after all.
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leoascendente · 5 months
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PAC/ Major blessings of the new year ✨️
Hi my loves! Welcome back to another pick a card, this time focused into the new year and what will be the major blessings this new year has in store for you. As always, take a deep breath and take a moment to choose your pile, I suggest you to pick the one that makes you smile the most.
I wish you the best year possible, may peace, happiness and love be always by your side every day of this new year ❤️
Decks: Woodland wardens oracle, Raider Waite tarot and astrodices
For private readings click here / 2024 readings are open
My blog in Spanish here
All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners
Pile 1/ pile 2/ pile 3
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Pile 4/ pile 5/ pile 6
Pile 1:
This new year will be your year of preparation, there's something huge coming into your life at some point but first you need to learn some new skills to get and keep the success you are looking for. Universe is giving you extra time to prepare what you really want to achieve, it's like a period for trying new things and tests what works best for you, especially in matters of career and money because you'll be very lucky in these areas. If you are thinking into opening your own bussiness and be an enterpreneour, this year will be a lucky year for you but the cards wants you to focus on burocracy and legal matters too, you'll have it easy but there are some things you'll need to learn before, like paying taxes on time or investing money wisely
Your areas of luck will be about starting projects and trying new things it's all about taking the lead without fearing risk, whenever you follow your inner compass you'll find yourself attracting more abundance than what you expected. You'll also be very lucky when it comes to gain wealth and what will play the most at your favor is your knowledge about burocracy or legal matters, not only for this year but the years ahead where you'll be managing big amounts of money.
This year will be filled by happiness and meaningful changes, sometimes change can be overwhelming but for you this feels like something you've been waiting for a long time, a desired transformation of your reality. You are the group that got more major arcana, so this 2024 will be an end of a cycle where your life will take a 180-degree turn, there's also this energy of getting out of your head so much and starting focusing on your present moment. With the empress and the magician cards, I see you'll feel a lot more grounded and, for what I'm feeling, this will help you attract money easilly, you'll be a literal money magnet this new year. These two cards are also indicators of a good year of prosperity with work and money, the empress also indicates a huge physical glow up and a boost in your confidence, you'll feel super empowered during 2024 :).
Pile 2:
This new year brings you balance and stability, you'll feel a lot more supported and certain about the path you are taking in life, things will feel more peaceful for you this new year. If you deal with anxiety or something of that sort that involves your mental health, I see a big relief over 2024, you'll be making a lot of progress in this area. The major word I channel is balance, on your outside circumstances but mostly when it comes to yourself and your inner wellbeing, I feel my heart rushing and a knot in my stomach that are slowling relieving, this year might also involve some kind of spiritual or emotional healing too. If you have difficulties dealing with stressful situations this year will also bring you clarity to discern what's best for you and where to invest your precious energy.
You'll be lucky when it comes to find new ways to develop your passion or how you share it with the world, you'll be very lucky if you use some kind of social media or technologies to promote it too, especially if you are an artist. Your intuition will be improving too, if you follow it you'll find sucess at the end of the road, your guides will also be taking relevance in your life. Btw, blue will be your lucky color during the year
This new year will end up some conflicts you were dealing with, the feeling that you needed to constantly fight will dissipate in a very natural way, it will happen progressively in a time where you'll feel like you can finally sit and relax, you might feel extra tired sometimes but it will be because your nervous system will get out of survival mode. You end up a karmic cycle of your life that will allow you to focus on your finances and being productive at work because you got the ace and the 8 of pentacles right after the card of the world, so working and seeing progress will be a major theme of your year ahead, if you are into handcraft of some sort you can get extra income with it. You'll be also getting out of your comfort zone more often to find beautiful things outside of what's known to you, this will be a year of adventures that you'll live with peace in your heart.
Pile 3:
There's an improvement on your energy levels and your home life, you'll feel a lot more healthy and vital during the new year, I don't usually talk about health in any of my readings but your pile deserves it because your body is regenerating positively somehow, whatever you are doing to take care of it just know it's working and will give you proofs of it this new year. There's also a major message about your home life and how it will be taking a more important role in your life, maybe it's something as simple as to be able to decorate it the way you like or it's something more relevant like making a renovation of pipes or fixing leaks, whatever it is, it's something you've been wishing for a long time, It could also be that you'll finally be moving to the house of your dreams.
Your lucky areas talk about health again with virgo in the dices, I see trying to have a healthier habits will help you in this aspect of your wellbeing, maybe create a healthier routine or something that sort (it will be different for each of you reading this), always do what's most aligned with yourself. You also got pluto and the third house so this year will be good for you to transform yourself, maybe stepping out of what's known for you and try new practices, it could also be that you are re-learning some thinigs after an spiritual awakening. For a little amount of you this could mean taking a different approach when it comes to your physical health and needs.
Uhhh things got interesting with your tarot cards! There's a lot of love entering your life my dear :), you got so many beautiful cards that I had to take a minute to channel and summarize all the info. After a period of healing and purification all your dreams will start to come true, the healing process might seem too intense because you'll be getting a lot of channelings in a short period of time but suddently everything will start happening for you, it will happen in the most unexpected way at the mostt unexpected time, you won't see all the happiness coming, even if you receive signs you won't be paying that much attention. You got the star, 10 of cups, ace of cups and the empress, if this is not an omen of your true love entering your life I don't know what it is haha, maybe the message about the home means that you finally meet the person you are going to create a home with because you got the king and knight of pentacles at the bottom of the deck so this person is arriving with commitment, peace and stability. Congratulations my dear, you'll be discovering love in many different aspects of your life during this new year.
Pile 4:
Your major blessing is some kind of dharma, it's something that will make you gain hope in Universe's protection over you, this will come through other people that will communicate things to you that will feel like an eureka moment where everything starts to make sense. Honestly, this feels like making amends with the past, do you know when you see the bully of your high school after 10 years and all the rage dissapears because that person is having a nightmare of a life?, it's not about being happy about other people's suffering, it is more the feeling of there's someone up there watching everything we do and no one leaves without paying their karma.
You area of luck is about the people that will enter your life, I see you reuniting with your soul tribe this year and finding lovely people that will treat you with respect and admiration. If you are someone that has dealt with the worst aspect of human nature, this year will be a proof from Universe of all the good traits humans have, it's like Universe wants to compensate you for the battles you have gone through, you'll find your place and your people in this world.
With the tarot cards I'm seeing that you'll be meeting the most lighthearted and positive aspect of life, there's happiness, support and love entering your life to stay. You'll be moving on from a lot of mental patterns that were holding you back, it's like you have learnt the theory and you are finally dealing with the practice that you thought it would be supper difficult and challenging and will ressult into being the most easy and peacefull process ever, like you don't even have to make any effort because everything will be moving at your same pace. Between all the new positive people entering your life, there are a lot of chances to find a romantic soulmate there, because of the cards you got I see an unblock in your heart chakra that will unblock your love life too, especially for those that have been single for a while. At the bottom of the deck you got the 6 of swords and the wheel of fortune so this new year will be a shift in your luck to the positive aspects of life, you'll also be feeling more hopeful and optimistic.
Pile 5
Your pile is the only one that has one extra oracle card and it's because that card wanted to fly and land on the opposite side of the room, not to give you spoilers but it was the card of romance. This new year will bring you a lot of different blessings, I see 3 major ones at least, romace is very prominent through all your spread so this year you will meet your true love and will start your life together as a couple. Another blessing I see here is some sort of independence (it will be different for each of you so take only what resonates), it can be moving alone to a new place, working by yourself or releasing emotional attachments, whatever independence means to you is what you'll be getting this new year. I also see admiration from people when they look up to you, you'll be receiving adoration from others, like getting a fan club or something like that, it feels like people being devoted to you, so you might viral or achieve some level of fame throught the new year
Your lucky areas will be taking care of yourself and your beauty on the inside and the outside, if you've been thinking about changing your style this year will be very favorable for you in this aspect, also for beauty treatments or anything related to your image and appearance. Another lucky area will be your drive and inner power, you can rely on this aspects whenever you need a boost of confidence, remind yourself your talents and keep moving, you are your most powerful lucky charm <3
Uhhh Divine counterparts energy here in your tarot cards, the magician and the high priestess and the king and queen of cups, so you'll be finding a person so in tune with you that it gives me goosebumps all over my spine, you'll understand what a twin flame connection is after this person enters your life, btw, it's someone completely new, no one from the past. Your overall message about this new year is success and moving on from what no longer serves you, this new year you'll be aligning with your happiest and most successful version and honestly, I feel like you won't have to do that much because Universe is pampering you during the whole year
Pile 6
Your oracle card's literal is happiness, so honey, happy days are here again for you, I see even see you crying of joy a few times during the year. You are my spiritual pile and my dear, this year you'll be having magical moments with your spirituality, you'll see miracles happening in front of you, I'm literally hearing 'a glitch in the matrix' so you'll be seeing and undestanding Universe in such a deeper level. You'll be nourishing your soul during this new year, you'll be more in tune with your inner child and you'll be focused into what's best for you and your happiness, life will also be very gentle with you.
Your lucky areas have something to do with your soul mission, especially if you are the kind of people that loves helping others and would like to dedicate your life into a major service for others. It's something related to healing, it can be your own or this might be more related of a soul mission that involves helping others, whatever it be, you'll be receiving rewards because of this. Another lucky area will be the people that will enter your life, you'll have an amazing support system in the people you will know this year.
You'll be knowing a soul mate this year! You got 2 and 10 of cups and a lot of major arcana, so I see a major connection with a romantic soulmate but also there are a lot of soul mates that will enter your life to align you with your soul mission, every person will come with a lot of knowledge that will make you feel fullfiled on a soul level. There's also a shift in your luck but it will be mostly driven by your own mentality, you'll feel stronger and more confident in whatever your passions are, you'll be also having some sort of realization about what you want to do with your life and will plan how to make it true, Universe will be favoring you in this aspect.
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eimids · 7 months
Note
Can I request a Alexia putellas x wife reader, like the reader is a billionaire but the team mistakenly thought that the reader is using Alexia for money or fame because of how the reader dress just like simple clothes and the team tell the reader to leave ale alone... Thank you.....
I changed it to girlfriend just cause it fit better with the story line.
But yeah that's the summery
Warnings: panic attack but not really anything else
You had inherited your parents company after their passing. It had something to do with politics so you weren’t really that interested. And you were only 14 at the time. So when you turned 18 you sold the company to the highest bidder.
That’s how you ended up with a shit ton of money. You had so much of it that it was overwhelming to you. You didn’t really tell anyone about your money situation, not even Alexia. When you started dating, it was the year 2022. Alexia had just ruptured her ACL and was at a bar drinking her sorrows away. Not the most romantic place to meet but for you it was perfect. After a year of dating you had finally told Alexia about your money situation. She understood what it felt like to have so much money, so she helped you with managing it. You donated some of it to different charities. Some of them you put on your savings and some of it you kept on your bank account.
You didn’t dress in designer clothing and didn’t appear to others as a rich person although you had millions. You didn’t want anyone to view you differently because of your money. Alexia loved that about you. She loved how you were down to earth type of person and didn't care about money and what others might think of you. You also hated using money. Although you knew that you had enough many to not work anymore at all, you still felt the need to buy the cheapest things available.
You didn’t really meet Alexia’s friends properly due to her ACL injury. You had met some of them quickly after matches but didn’t get to actually know any of them. They always seemed nice and they made Alexia happy so that was the most important thing.
But the thing about her teammates was that they thought that you were some kind of a gold digger. They heard how Alexia talked about buying you expensive gifts and posting you to her Instagram. They knew that Alexia had money and popularity. You could easily gain a status for yourself. They also knew that Ale could be quite naive sometimes and they wanted to protect her.
They started asking some subtle questions about you. Things like where did you work and did you know who Ale was before meeting her. The answers to those questions didn't ease their doubts. You, a coffee shop worker and a huge football fan, didn't have that big of a salary and you of course knew who Alexia was. In fact, that's why you went to talk to her that day in the bar.
"She's using her for money" Jenni Hermoso was the first to say those words out loud. She didn't like you, you were too good to be true for Alexia. Something had to be wrong with you. Was it jealousy or did she actually care about Alexia's feelings getting hurt? We'll never know.
"You can't know that. Maybe she's in love with Alexia, at least Alexia is in love with her. I mean you all have seen how she looks at her and the way she talks about her. She's head over heels for that girl" Mapi tried to reason. She didn't want to think ill of you, but Jenni was good at convincing the others.
"Well yeah that's the point. Ale is in love with her, and she's probably just in for the money. Alexia just talked how she is going to buy y/n this necklace that costs way too much. I mean I even heard y/n once ask Alexia to bye her some earrings. Clearly she just wants attention and money" Jenni tried to convince the others.
The girls kept talking about the situation for a while before Alexia showed up.
"Oh hi, I'm sorry I'm late. Y/n and I went to this fancy restaurant and time just went by" She explained why she was late to the team bonding night. "Oh look at her in this photo, she looks so cute" She showed the photo to the others.
You were sitting there with a gold necklace hanging from your neck. You were wearing a Gucci dress, which you didn't even really want but Alexia bought it to you still. Her teammates didn't know that and were just thought you made Alexia buy it for you.
"Oh that's a nice dress, bet it costs a lot" Jenni stated.
"Well yeah it was quite expensive but I love to pamper my girl. She's just always stressing about money so I want to show her that she doesn't have to" Alexia explained. When she said you were stressing about money, she meant the fact that you felt bad for having so much of it and it made you anxious. What her friends thought she meant was that you were poor.
"Oh could you drive me home? i would call y/n but her phone broke and she hasn't gotten a new yet. I'm probably going to have to buy her a new so I can reach her" Alexia joked.
"Oh yeah jump in" Jenni answered. She shared looks with the other girls to see if they had heard what Alexia said. Now Patri and Marta were convinced.
"Could I come quickly inside to have some water?" Jenni asked. And Alexia said it was fine of course.
They walked to your home which you share with Alexia. It was an apartment in a good neighborhood. You had split the costs of it but obviously Jenni didn't know that.
"Hi baby I'm home and Jenni is me, I'm just gonna head to the shower" Ale yelled to you and left the hallway to the bathroom. You came from the bedroom to greet your girlfriend and her friend.
"Hi Jenni" You smiled to the brunette. She just hummed.
"So what's your deal with Alexia, you just using her for money or what?" Jenni went straight to the point now that she had the perfect chance to ask you.
"What, no, i love her I would never use her for her money" You were quick to reply. You were shocked that she would even suggest that.
"Well you clearly don't have any money as you can't even pay for a new phone or the dresses you wear" Jenni stated. She was getting frustrated.
"No it's not that, she want's to buy those thing, I've never asked for any of them" You answered dumbstruck.
"Yeah Alexia might be naive enough to think that but I'm not. Break up with her before we'll tell her what you really want from her." Jenni just said and left.
The rest of that night you were quiet and Ale was confused of what happened. She didn't push it thought, maybe you just had a long day.
The next day you drove Alexia to prac. You were nervous to get close to the training grounds but didn't want to be weird so that Alexia wouldn't notice.
"Bye love, have a good prac" You said to her as she hopped out of the car.
You stayed for a bit to change the music and just like that there was a girl knocking on the window of your car. You lowered the window so you could talk.
"Umm is everything okay?" You asked the woman who you had identified as Marta.
"I'm guessing you didn't have a talk with Ale like Jenni suggested?" She just said casually.
"No, I'm not using her for her money" You tried to reason.
"Yeah, I guess we just have to tell her the truth" Marta said and left.
You were afraid. What if Ale would believe them There was no reasonable reason why she would but you still got scared. How did you come off as a gold digger? Why did her friends hate you so much that they came up with that?
You made your way back to home where you bursted to tears. You had always hated the idea of people seeing you differently because of money. And when you tried your hardest to avoid that, it was exactly what happened. They thought that all you wanted from your girlfriend was money. You were scared that Alexia would believe them and then she would just break up. All the worst scenarios came to your mind and soon enough you were in a full panic attack.
"Ale we need to talk" Jenni said to Ale immediately after training.
"Um okay? Is everything ok?" Alexia answered.
"Well no, we all have noticed that y/n is most likely using you just for money and you're just too naive to see that" Jenni started. Alexia grew mad immediately.
"Why would you think that? Of course she's not after the money" Alexia replied angrily.
Jenni tried to explain to Alexia why they thought that you didn't actually love Ale. They explained that it was weird that you didn't mention the conversation you had with Jenni the other night.
"You talked to her about this?! You accused her of being a gold digger? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Alexia panicked. She knew that money was a sensitive topic for you.
Alexia tried to call you but you didn't answer so she just ordered herself a taxi.
"Y/n is the sweetest human being and you are here accusing her of something she didn't do!" Alexia yelled.
"You just can't see it Ale, she's using you" Marta tried.
"Fuck you, and just for your information, she has more money than I do" Alexia yelled and left the room.
She impatiently waited for the taxi. The drive home was a suffering experience. Now she realized why you had been so quiet the night before. She hated her teammates for making you think that you would be just a gold digger.
"Baby I'm here" She yelled when she got home. She was nervous when you didn't come and greet her.
She walked to the bedroom where she found you draped in your comfort blanket. So clearly trying to calm yourself down.
"Oh y/n I'm so sorry" Alexia said as she hurried to your side. She knew you loved physical touch so she made sure to give that to you to help you calm down.
"They shouldn't have said any of that, they are all wrong. I know that you love me and you know that I love you. That's all that matters. They don't know anything about you and they were being assholes with even thinking those thing about you" Alexia said. She was being sincere, you could hear it in her voice.
That helped you calm down. You loved Alexia and she loved you.
--
I lowkey hate how this turned out. The anon ask was amazing but I feel like I couln't write it properly.
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tojisun · 1 month
Note
I have a feeling gaz would sometimes, whilst face fucking you, hold your nose until tears pour down your face and he lets you go, you gasping for air head dizzy and hhhhhhh
I STARTED YELLING!!! OH MY GODDD!!!! absolutely. 100%. no lies detected; as far as i'm concerned (which is very because this is so personal to me) this is canon mhmm mhmm
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he lets you start, his eyes crinkled in gentle delight when you slither between his legs, nosing over his crotch. you're already so whimper-y, breaths ragged as you stare up at him, pouting. kyle huffs a fond laugh and unbuckles his jeans for you.
you take his cock out with softness, your body thrumming with impatience���reeled in only by the fact that kyle's hand on top of your head is warm. heavy.
a warning.
you swallow him as far as you can, kitten-licks along his slit and over his veins, before choking when the bulbed head of his cock hits the back of your throat. with your gag reflex activated, you move to slip him out, only, you find that you can't.
it seemed that while you were lost in your euphoria, kyle's hand had slid from the top of your head to the base of it, cupping your skull with faux gentleness. mouth full, you stare up at him, the backs of your eyes prickling and your skin racked with goose bumps.
no—
kyle grins, dimples forming in his cheeks, then he pushes you down, forcing his cock into the passage of your throat. you squeak, mind blanking at the confusing tug of both pleasure and pain—"see? my pretty, masochist baby, y'are."—before tears finally trickle from the corners of your eyes.
"shh, love. shh," kyle croons, drumming his fingers against your scalp, his chest heaving with measured breaths. "y've got to learn how to hold me there, sweetheart. s'time f'r you to be good f'me, no?"
you can't even hear him from the sound of blood rushing into your ears, blocking everything of the world that isn't the weight of kyle's cock fucking into your throat, the organ pulsing with every of your choked-up swallow.
it's—
it's so good. so dizzying.
it's grounding, somehow.
you feel your body relaxing, your heaving chest finding its own beat as your breaths begin to pass through your nostrils with ease. your eyes, cloudy with tears, clear up and it is then that you see kyle gazing at you with such a reverent look, it makes you wriggle, shy. he smiles, gentle, and it fills you up with this creeping warmth until you're sagging onto him, comfortable. relaxed.
kyle chuckles, the rumbles of his laughter muffled. he pushes your hair away from your face, murmured coos passing through the fog in your mind, and you warble a response, unable to contain yourself at the weight of kyle's softness.
you want more. you want so much more. you want to show him that you can take whatever it is he'll give you; that you're ready for everything he asks of you. you want him to use you. to manhandle you. to fuck your throat until all you are is his toy. you want—
you want the pain.
kyle's eyes glint like he's got ahold of your dirty, twisted thoughts; gentle smile twisting into something mean. he doesn't even ask anymore, but he doesn't need to, and it makes you throb with such strong need when the hold he has on the back of your head gains strength.
he tugs you back from him, his cock easing out of your throat, leaving it so empty it feels wrong. the head slips until it lays on the flat of your tongue. you lick up, trying to get a taste of his pre, to savour it, but before you could kyle is already pushing your head back down again, smothering the ample amount of air in your lungs into nothingness as he fills you up again.
you squirm, choking, the gargled sounds of your words rumble from your chest, unable to actually be sounded out with how he has you stuffed. kyle huffs, overwhelmed himself as he repeats the action, chasing his orgasm from the press of your throat, his cock hitting depths that has you wailing, your eyes tearing up—
a heavy hand falls on your face, pinching your nose. instinctively, you try breathing in, mind overwhelmed at the sudden threat, but it only makes blood rush to your head, making you heady. making you feel more cornered than you really are.
no.
you’re thrashing, nails biting at his legs as you scramble for purchase. for air. for anything to save you.
you try to slack your jaw, stretching your lips until they go taut in hopes that it’d create a sliver passage way for oxygen, but it’s futile.
nonono—
you are sure hours passed before he removes his hand from your face, trilling praises that you couldn’t even digest. not even with his thumbs swiping just underneath your eyes, a mimicry of all of the times he’s done this to calm you down and comfort you.
but now, crying as you are while your trembling body is still poised for a threat, you see the way kyle is looking at you so adoringly. his eyes are narrowed in that way that lets you know how pleased he truly is, and you understand that this wasn’t a fluke nor a one-time thing.
“breathe, little star,” he murmurs, his palm sliding from your cheek to your throat. he rubs at the stretch of your skin softly, almost humming to himself as he feels the bulge of where his cock starts and where it disappears underneath your muscle and skin.
you sniffle.
“c’mon now,” kyle tuts. “i know you want this.”
you narrow your eyes at him. he just grins, so boyish all of a sudden.
“don’t worry,” he says, his hold around your neck tightening slightly. “i’ll be gentle.”
liar.
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anon im staring at you with my mouth agape bc me next !!! (also im sorry its not written well 🥺 i was horny one moment [bc of this] n then angry n betrayed the next [bc of work]. im sorry if it was reflected on the work. i hope u still like this <33 mwah mwah thank u for gibing me it!! i adored it teehee)
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louscartridge · 23 days
Text
bang chan with a reader who has daddy issues
bang chan x fem reader
cw- daddy issues and everything that comes with it (duh), mentions of sex and cockwarming, fluff, comfort.
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a/n- whenever I see things with chan and daddy issues, its never actually daddy issues, its always just a daddy kink or whatever, yk? so this ones for all my stays with daddy issues out there 😞
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❥ at first he'd think it was a bit strange, and he was a little confused. however, he wasn't surprised.
Chan had always had a good father, and he'd like to think he'd also be a good one, so he never understood how a dad could just be so rejectful towards their own child, but he knew that sadly, some of them are.
❥ you didn't even have to tell him about you daddy issues for him to eventually realize it. to be completely honest, he didn't ever know if you knew you had them.
❥ it was the way that you would grasp onto his arm, or get weirdly overly excited about small things, and some of your worries or things you would say that made him realize.
❥ but he knows that its the small things that you'd go over the moon for. he'd make sure you guys had movie nights, weather it would be with just the two of you, or the rest of his group, game nights, ect. he knows sometimes going out could be a bit overwhelming for you, so he'd try his best to cook for you. chan would also brush your hair every once and a while.... not only does he know you sometimes have trouble doing it yourself, but he also knows that it brings you some sense of comfort.
❥ one night you told him that you prefer to go to sleep when everyone was awake cause it gave you some sense of security, but you hated how alone you felt when you stayed up all by yourself. so now, he makes sure that you're asleep before he is. he'd lay there with you in his arms awake, for however long it takes for you to fall asleep before he does himself.
❥ Chan is so good at reassurance and reading you omg. he can tell when you're having your doubts.... weather you're feeling particularly insecure in the moment, or you're scared that he's gonna leave you, he can always tell. he's so good with his words, and his tone changes slightly whenever he's reassuring you in these moments. his 'i love you' somehow sounding so much softer then it usually does, along with his eyes looking much softer too.
❥ he doesn't want you to push yourself away cause you think he's gonna leave, hell always encourage you to talk to him. if you cant come out and say what you need, hell hint to the convo or start it himself.
using words face to face could be hard, he gets that. when you're too embarrassed to verbally talk to him about it, hell give you a piece of paper, and you could write what you need to on it, and give it to him whenever you're done. he'd never tell you when you needed to write on it though, that was all in your own time. even if you never gave it back to him, he just wants you to know that its always there for you to use and give to him.
❥ speaking of Chan being good at reading you, he can tell when you actually want sex or not. half the time, it's the look in your eyes. they're different, and glassy. not in a needy way or anything, but in a way where you look worried, scared, like you're about to cry.
sometimes you also use sex as a form of reassurance, but he needs you to know that you don't ever need to have sex with him just cause you think it'll make him stay. sometimes the two of you would just resort to cock warming if you really need to feel close to him, but hell try his best to turn you away.
"princess not right now." he'd say with his hands on both sides of your face, pulling you away.
"but daddy-"
"no, baby, im sorry. I'm always gonna be here tomorrow, and the next day, and every other day after, ok? I promise. I love you so much."
"always gonna be here." you'd nod to yourself with a small sniff.
❥ he understands that it might take you a bit to trust him, but he's so patient with gaining your trust. hell do everything he can to get it, and continue to do everything to keep it.
❥ Chan himself is a little possessive and get jealous easily, so he has no problem with that. what he does have a problem with, is the fact that half the time you're acting that way cause you think he's gonna leave or cheat on you. he'd never in a million years do either of those, and it breaks him whenever he thinks that you feel that. he never wants his baby to feel that way ever, but he knows there's not much he can do other then give you everything he has, and time.
you like that your boyfriend can be jealous and possessive tho. whenever he gets that way, you know for sure that he won't leave you. you are his, and he is yours. only and always.
❥ sometimes though, Chan does just need some space. there's nothing wrong with that, you know that. but you cant help but feel bad. 'was I too clingy? was I being annoying? oh god, he's gonna break up with me isn't he.' chan knows that's what you're gonna be thinking, so he always tells you a few days beforehand.
"babe, me and Felix are going somewhere on Thursday morning. I'll be back around 2:00 tho. ok?"
"why are you coming back so late?" you furrow your eyebrows.
"its a long drive is all"
he always comes back with flowers, or a stuffed animal, or something of the sort when he gets back. he'll text you and keep you updated whenever you can on days like that.
❥ since you're constantly around chan, you've gotten mad close to the guys. sometimes you find it funny, the group of you talking about how chan is always gushing about you, sometimes teasing him.
once you trust them enough, Hyunjin and Felix have field days with you telling them little things and details about your relationship.
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atinysunbaby · 4 months
Text
⌛Ateez Matz unit reaction to skinship⌛
- Park Seonghwa, Kim Hongjoong
Warnings : Suggestive, don't read if uncomfortable.
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💖Park Seonghwa💖
Since the first day of your relationship, Seonghwa has always been the one to initiate skinship and he's even the one who asked you out. It makes him feel a bit insecure sometimes, because endless worries go through his mind. He wishes you would be clingy and show your love in a way that makes him feel special. He's scared that you don't love him as much as you let it appear and that it's never going to change.
You're shocked to find him outside your apartment during one of his work days, but the first thing he mentions while entering is that he took a day off to come see you. You lead the way inside, getting him a drink and laying out a few of his favorite snacks on the coffee table for him to enjoy.
He starts the conversation and you can see his eyes brimming with tears, voice unsteady. The moment the words come out of his mouth, he bursts out crying. He wanted to confront you and admit that he wants more physical affection from you, but he must be too overwhelmed. It surprises the both of you, but Seonghwa is confused more than anything.
"I don't know why I'm crying." You can't resist his adorable scrunched up face, eyes shining with salty waterfalls and pouty lips. Your instincts take over and you hurry to straddle his laps, tightening your arms around his neck and kissing away his tears before pecking the rest of his face and he starts humming contentedly.
"You must have been so worried. You didn't even know how much it affected you. My poor baby." Seonghwa beams with delight, eyes closing in satisfaction as you continue your ravage on his skin. You hear a few whimpers while leaving hickeys all over his jaw, neck and collarbone. The more you touch him, the redder he gets.
When you finally pull away, admiring your artwork, you fail to notice the flustered expression on your boyfriend's face, but you can't help giggling as you look up. His eyes are dazed and he looks absolutely gone in his own world, it seems almost too complicated for him to gain back his senses.
"Are you with me baby?" He nods dumbly, watching you with adoration, but not being able to utter a word. From then on, you always take the time to show him how much he means to you and he certainly loves every second of it.
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💙Kim Hongjoong💙
Hongjoong doesn't like skinship. No, actually he does, but only when it's you. He won't admit it though, especially not in front of other people. At first you figured he would prefer if you didn't try anything, but still make sure to get a few hugs and kisses here and there, because you personally like it.
When you don't give him any type of physical affection, it almost pains him. Until one day he can't take it and ends up accidentally admitting that he craves for your touch. "Come sit here."
Getting ready to watch a movie with him and the rest of ateez, he pat his thighs for you to sit on and it doesn't even register in his mind that he is 'supposed' to hate it. You hesitate for a minute, wondering if he really means it or if he made a joke, but you see the realization on his face and notice that he doesn't back down from his request.
"You comfortable?" You nod and turn sideways to analyse his expression. He wears a satisfied smirk and the hands squeezing your waist lets you know that he enjoys it as much as you do.
Some of the boys decide to start teasing him, swearing that they knew he was whore for your touch and Hongjoong retaliates, clearly bothered by their words. It goes on for a while and you get tired of them being little shits. "Hongjoong?"
His attention is on you almost at the speed of light and it only acts as gasoline on the fire, snickers filling the room followed by Seonghwa scolding his kids and Hongjoong flipping them off angrily.
You feel him shift underneath you and see how bothered he looks, which upsets you too. Hoping to make his mood better, with your hands on both sides of his jaw, you lift his head up and initiate a rather intense kiss.
The second your lips touch, it's dead silent and you can imagine the shock on their faces, the thought riling you up even more. You wanted them to be speechless and it worked, but your main priority is and always will be your boyfriend, who is getting more agitated as time passes.
He's getting bolder, forgetting about the small public you have and you hate to put a stop to his new found hunger, but it's better to continue somewhere else. Pulling away, a trail of saliva connects from your tongues and you press your lips one last time against his to break it.
He's breathing heavily and you both chuckle lightly before turning to face the seven dumbfounded men. There's a certain tension in the air and you feel proud to be the one who made it happen. "You coming Hongjoong? I want you inside of me."
Your boyfriend confidently stands up to grab your hand, leading the way to his room and ignoring the wide eyes and gapping mouths of his bandmates.
Ateez masterlist
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phonydiaries · 8 months
Text
Beautiful Dreamer - P x Reader
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Notes: This is a bit of a shorter fic from me and it's pure unadulterated fluff and sap and nobody gets stabbed! Which is really stretching myself as a writer, to be honest. You guys know I love nothing more than a good life-threatening injury. Anyways, no warnings for this one! Enjoy the cozy vibes <3 
---
It seemed somewhat magical in the beginning. 
Pino came running to you once, at the very break of dawn when you had just barely opened your eyes; too-bright sunlight stinging them as the puppet shook you from sleep. It was difficult for you to grasp what he meant, at first, to wrap your head around what he was trying to describe. His speechless manner of communication and your general grogginess certainly didn’t help matters. But through a series of signs and expressions from Pinocchio, you came to understand. In his slow but sure gaining of humanity the boy had begun to dream at night. 
You were vaguely aware that he did not dream before, and didn’t exactly sleep in the way humans did (although he did something similar enough that you personally couldn’t tell the difference). 
“Is it… pleasant?” You asked him, genuinely quite curious as to what a strange thing dreams must seem to someone who had never known them. It had the potential to be wondrous and peaceful, but at the same overwhelming and utterly confusing. P seemed to take your question into careful consideration, really mulling it over. His eyes shone bright as he finally nodded decisively. 
For all his excitement over this newfound ability, Pinocchio was frankly dreadful in his attempts at describing his dreams to you. You tried earnestly to follow along, but his gestures and expressions would eventually become too complicated and frenetic for you to follow and so you found yourself utterly lost in his recollections. It was after one such frustrating night that you gifted him a pocket journal to write in. This was much preferred for both of you, and you came to enjoy the routine of him eagerly handing off his scribblings for you to interpret in the morning. You would sit elbow to elbow at the table, sipping morning tea and reading his writing aloud, while he listened and nodded along captivated, his chin resting over his hands on the table. 
His writing was uncharacteristically scratchy, with words often misspelled or crossed out implying that he was simply transcribing for speed and not coherence. Now and then there would be an addition of a crude drawing, sometimes the vague outline of a rabbit or a rushed impression of beaming stars. 
One day, when it was particularly gloomy, you and Pino wandered to the library. Silence between the two of you was not uncommon, nor was it in any way awkward or uncomfortable. With the heavy fall of rain against the roof on this day, you found the quiet between the shelves especially peaceful. By the orange glow of a lantern, you turned the pages of a dream-interpretation guide. It was a small and somewhat battered thing and had been picked up eagerly by Pinocchio of course, who sat on the floor with crossed legs, chin resting in the heels of his hands as he listened to you, enthralled. In hushed tones, you ran down bulleted lists of common dreams and all the cryptic mysteries they may contain. 
“Here, how about this one, have you ever dreamed that your teeth were falling out?” You asked, pointing to a passage in the book. P slapped a hand over his mouth and shook his head vigorously, looking suddenly very concerned with keeping said teeth firmly in his mouth. You couldn’t help chucking as you turned the page. 
The day wore on, and the oil in your lantern burned down to nothing, the dim light flickering across an eerie illustration. You’d been leafing through an art book of the romantic era painters and left off on a Fuseli painting of a tormented woman being peered upon unknowingly by some manner of devil. You found the page quite off putting honestly, and closed the book. 
“I figure that’s enough of that. What do you say, Pino-oh.” 
As you addressed your puppet companion in the dark, you came to see that he sat on the floor still, slumped against the foot of your chair. His cheek was sunk into his left shoulder, eyes shut, breathing soft and shallow. The serenity of the scene warmed your heart some, and you leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Pino…” you whispered, and ran a hand through his hair in an effort to wake him. But he didn’t stir, seemingly in a deep sleep. You were sorry for the uncomfortable condition he seemed to be posed in, but you didn’t want to disturb the poor puppet. You gathered your things and left quietly, shuffling off to your quarters. 
It was around midnight that the puppet woke with a panicked gasp. He was surprised to find his legion arm held up defensively, as if in anticipation of an invisible attack. His eyes searched his surroundings frantically, and only when he recognized the library did he hesitantly lower his arm. In the darkness he felt quite uneasy and disoriented. He tried to recall your soothing hushed voice. It had put him into quite a state it seemed before he eventually drifted off. It was in stark contrast to the current thrumming of his mechanical heart and the uncomfortable quickness of his breaths. He had dreamed something wholly unpleasant, and with some sadness realized this new facet of humanity came with drawbacks. He did not care much for these dreams at all.
Pinocchio made his way down the corridor to your quarters, his steps echoing eerily. He threw pointed glances over his shoulder frequently, half expecting some monstrous creature to appear suddenly in the halls of Hotel Krat. The simple casting of shadows had never before made him so on-edge. When he reached your room, he opened the door slowly and peered inside. You lay there in the dark beneath silk sheets, curled in on yourself and sleeping soundly. With great care not to startle you, he knelt by your bedside and nudged you in the back. Your head flinched momentarily, but you otherwise remained still. With some urgency he took your shoulder and shook until you stirred. Rubbing your eyes wearily, you rolled over to face him. 
“Pino, it’s ah…it’s late isn’t it? Can’t it wait til morning..?” You grumbled. He shook his head almost apologetically and squeezed your shoulder. As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you were able to make out unfamiliar anxious creases in his expression. You willed yourself into a greater awareness and sat up promptly. “What is it, what’s wrong?” You asked, your tone softening significantly. P gestured in the direction of the library and rummaged around in his pocket for a moment. He retrieved the pocket journal you’d given him and pointed several times at the most recent entry. You squinted. On the left page he had simply blacked out the entire thing with a pen, and on the right page the phrase “strung up” was written several frantic times with increasing disregard for legibility. 
When you looked up at him to clarify, he raised his hands limp above his head and dropped his chin to his chest. The image was admittedly shuddersome and he cast a long and spindly shadow across the wall. 
“I see.” You said, closing the journal. “You had a nightmare, hm? All strung up like an ordinary puppet.” Your heart fell for the poor boy. It must’ve been terribly frightening for him. 
Pinocchio nodded solemnly, not meeting your eyes. He stared off blankly and rubbed his wrists, as if easing a phantom feeling of restraints. You took note of this and hummed softly. 
“Here, may I see?” You asked, and pulled his arm towards you. You made a show of inspecting it and tapping your chin thoughtfully. Holding his arm with one hand, you stuck up two fingers like a pair of scissors and pretended to snip the invisible puppet string. You repeated this mimic on his other arm and then took his hands in yours, placing a kiss on the back of each. 
“All gone.” 
Pinocchio looked at you with a kind of boyish wonder. He raised one fist to the crown of his head with a smile, making a  pshhh sound and opening his hand, giving the impression of a miniature explosion.
“Think you’ll be alright for the rest of the night?”
At this he shifted a little. His fingers busied themselves, twisting in the bedsheets. He was obviously still shaken up somewhat. You could understand that, although it was a bit of a surprise to learn that someone so nearly indestructible could be afraid of the dark. 
“Alright,” you sighed, lifting the sheets. “Get in here.” 
P’s chin jutted forward and his brow furrowed at your offer. You just gestured to the space beside you with your head. “Go on, before I change my mind.” You teased. At this, Pinocchio clambered up into your bed and nuzzled his face into the pillow. As he got settled. You pulled the sheet over his shoulders and snaked your arm up around him from behind. Your nose pressed against the nape of his neck and you breathed in the smell of him, like fresh rain. 
“Have no fear, my puppet.” You said sleepily against his skin. “Your trusty human won’t let anything steal you away from me in the night.” You heard him snicker at this, but you knew without a doubt he felt safer here with you and vice versa. It was sweet, really. 
By the time the sun rose you were both still sound asleep, all tangled in each other’s limbs, looking like lovers in the warm morning light. The day could wait a little longer. 
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aly-writes · 10 months
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wrote this to get out my feelings cause i was going through it lol</3 shoutout to yall who feel similarly, my heart aches for you :( remember that it's always good to talk about how you feel! please don't keep everything holed up inside
i love hyunsu sm :(
word count: 1,190
warnings: reader talking down on themselves, filled with angst/hurt
forlorn - cha hyunsu
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Cha Hyunsu was so good to you.
His touches were gentle and carefully thought out. He knew how to read your mood and he dealt with it well, never going too far but also making sure not to leave you high and dry. Hyunsu was considerate, and damn it, you loved it.
You loved all of it.
You loved the way he touched you. Your favorites were the smallest gestures. The way he would lightly put his hand on your back when he noticed you were upset about something, and how if you truly needed it, he would hug you so tight you couldn’t breathe. But it wasn’t uncomfortable or painful, it was needed. Sometimes you needed to feel that secure—tightly held against his chest with the false certainty that everything would turn out alright and nobody could get in the way of that.
One could never forget his voice. The sweet nothings he would whisper in your ear, so hushed that even you could barely hear it. But it was so peaceful, and for a moment, it made you feel like you two were the only people left in the world. Feeling such a way was… nice. Even if it was just for a few minutes, there was a certain bliss that came with the warmth of his soul and knowing that you had it all to yourself.
He cared for you so deeply that you often found yourself questioning how his fondness for you could grow to be so strong. You would think back on the countless nights he would stay up for hours to make sure you were okay, waiting out your moods with nothing but patience and worry. He never resented you for your emotions. In fact, he embraced them entirely. Your emotions were his, as he had once said, and heaven forbid that you go to bed upset because it would only hurt the both of you.
Cha Hyunsu was too good for you.
You were selfish. God, you were so selfish. How did he do it? How did he so effortlessly invest all that he had into you and your sentiments? You had tried so hard to put the pieces together—to understand—but even with your best attempts, you couldn’t manage. Hyunsu would give up everything for you, so why was it so hard for you to do the same?
Your feelings were ugly and brutal, so harsh that sometimes you felt they would harm him. But he dealt with them so effortlessly and so graciously and so lovingly that you felt suffocated. Why did he have to be like this?
Why, why, why?
Things would be so much easier if he would just leave you alone and allow you to process things by yourself. Let you bury your feelings until they explode and you cry to yourself for hours on end questioning why and how you managed to feel so strongly with nothing to show for it. Absolutely nothing to show but an empty mind and a lonely heart, both so agonizing but so much easier to deal with than this.
This sense of guilt that you weren’t sure how to overcome. He was so perfect, so patient. And you were not.
His kisses were always tender and shy, coming from lack of experience but making sure that you knew he was trying his best for you. He always looked at you with a sense of empathy that only a few could achieve. This empathy that he gained through terrible experiences, but he used it in a useful way because, in his mind, you deserved it.
The weight of your remorse was becoming too much for you to bear. He carried your overwhelming emotions on his back while masking his own with such ease. You knew there was something wrong, so why didn’t you ask him about it, damn it?! It shouldn’t be so difficult to hide your emotions just this once, mask them like you were able to do so effortlessly only months prior so you could focus on his feelings. You wanted to show him that you would love to reciprocate his endurance and regard.
But you didn’t.
You broke and revealed your inner self once more, laying yourself bare on the table for him to see all of you. Your imperfections and those goddamn repulsive emotions that you would sacrifice everything for just to go away.
To no one’s surprise, like always, he treated you as he does every time.
“I love you,” you whispered with cracked lips. “I’m sorry.”
His eyes made contact with yours, and the slight tug of his lips caused the corners to crinkle in a way that you adored. He looked at you with so much devotion it hurt. And then he kissed you, taking your breath away with a single motion. Even though they were chapped, his lips always seemed so soft in comparison to yours. His kisses never failed to hold passion and emotion. It was like he was breathing in all the feelings he had so desperately held inside each time and it was so beautiful—fulfilling, even.
When he parted, he simply brushed a strand of hair behind your ear that had somehow gone astray. Then he looked at you once more and nearly blinded you with that same smile. “Please don’t ever apologize.”
It made your lips quiver and you couldn’t help but cover your eyes with your arm.
Love was truly a beautiful thing.
God, you thought. Why does he make you feel this way?
If you were to tell him how you truly felt, would he understand? Pouring out all of this emotion, going on about how remorseful you felt—how ineligible you were for him. Threads of complicated thoughts put into simple words falling out of your mouth, finally spilling the sentence you had been wanting to say for so long.
“Are you okay?” He reached forward to grab your elbow. Ever so gently, he tugged at it in a soft attempt to get you to remove your arm from your face. This only made your lip shudder more.
Hyunsu, you deserve so much better.
But you couldn’t bring yourself to say it out loud. Your heart knew he would understand, but your head convinced you otherwise. This was an issue you had to work through by yourself, it was foolish of you to think that you could share it unwarranted.
Love was beautiful, but your character was not. Despite his past, there was a part of your boyfriend that shined so brightly. You feared that showing him too much would cancel out such a delightful feeling, so you swallowed the smallest tremble of your lip down and sat up straight. You forced yourself to look at him and mustered up the brightest smile you could.
“I am. Thank you.”
With a slide of his hand down to your own, he faintly brushed your knuckles with his thumb. You shuddered at his touch, gulping down the lump that had unfortunately balled up in your throat. It seemed the deal was sealed.
Perhaps some thoughts were better off kept to yourself.
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graybby · 1 month
Text
Awkward encounter
Lando Norris X Russell!reader
The F1 drivers twitch streamer sister series !
Part 1 / Part 2 here 1196 words
sorry for the wait guys <3
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As much as Y/N would post on social media and perform to her twitch audience, she would be lying if she said that walking around the bustling crowds of F1 fans at the Aussie grand prix wasn’t terrifying her to her core. She was never one for big crowds - one of the reasons her older brother had only recently managed to convince her to attend his races this year with a lot of guilt tripping. Y/N didn’t help herself though, trying to conceal her identity constantly around her brother's fans when in his company had been grating on her over the years - especially with his rise in fame since joining Mercedes. She began finding it impossible to relax when in public with George, making her a partial recluse - much to her brother's disappointment. George understood why she wanted to hide her relation to him, but the wedge it started making between the two as she grew a larger fanbase irked him - he could tell it was bothering her too as her anxieties grew with it. Y/N loved her job streaming but sometimes doubted herself on whether it was the right choice for her - she found being in the public domain a constant surveillance, her every step taken outside her home found being criticised online. Imagining how much more intense the gaze on her would be if they knew the truth of her identity sent a chill down her spine. 
Despite this, the guilt of never being there in person to support her brother made her feel awful, eventually agreeing to Georges persistent begging to join him for a couple of the races on the 2024 calendar (as long as he helped conceal her identity). This left her to hide away inside the Mercedes hospitality out of view of any nearby cameras wrapped in a hoodie and sunglasses, anyone who asked about her was met with the reply that she was just a family friend who had never seen a race and wanted to finally enjoy one. The only people that actually knew her true identity being Toto and Lewis, George knew he could trust the two of them with this information. 
Out of sheer stupidity Y/N believed the hoodie and sunglasses combo that she wore in Saudi Arabia would continue to work in the blistering Australian heat. To her dismay she found herself sticking to the inside of her jumper, having to peel the fabric away from her skin as she made her way out of the bathroom that she had attempted to find some solace in by spending five minutes splashing cold water into her face. Unfortunately the bathroom was located a long way out from the Mercedes area, the more steps she took out the bathroom she could feel herself growing faint still being overwhelmed by the heat. Finding a close by wall to lean against as she tried to regain her composure as her body grew tired all to quick, Y/N found herself tearing haphazardly at the her hoodie to gain some relief - glasses clattering to the floor as the fabric passed over her head falling beside them to her feet. Her legs screaming out as she slid down the wall crouching into a ball in her fatigued state.
I’m so fucking stupid why did I think this could work today - annoying fucking sun.
Mentally cursing the weather and her own brain Y/N failed to notice the man approaching her - face full of concern for the young girl in front of him face pale and sickly. 
“Y/N?” 
She looks up - You’ve gotta be kidding me. 
 “Y/N what the fuck are you doing on the floor - you look like shit, what happened?” 
“oh thanks prince charming, can you help me up I need to get back to George - I can’t be seen out here” she asks, eyes pleading. 
“I didn’t mean- yeah-no-sure, of course here” 
“Thanks Lando” Y/N breathes out shakily as she takes his outstretched hand. 
This is utterly embarrassing 
“I'm sorry this is how we’re meeting” Y/N remarks as he bends down to grab the items she had dropped onto the floor.
“I’m just glad I was the one to find you, what happened?”
“I think I overheated, I was wearing my hoodie- I know ‘silly’ but I just wanted to be as incognito as possible. It's frustrating”. 
Lando gives her a sympathetic look as she answers him - not daring to look anywhere but the floor. “Hey I understand, but that could have been dangerous like you nearly passed out over there love '' Lando says as they make it closer to the Mercedes hospitality. Noticing the lack of response, he finds her still staring at  her feet. He sighs and gently moves to face her, tilting her head up, hand cupping her chin softly. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like I was lecturing you or anything, but it was scary to find you like that - I’m just worried” Y/N gulps staring back into his eyes as she nods at his words. “No I’m sorry, I was stupid - you don’t need to worry but thank you really Lando” Y/N mustered up the courage to speak, feeling so small under his gaze, his hand still cupping her jaw. 
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing Norris?” George growls pulling Y/N behind him in a split second, not liking the image in front of him of the fellow driver’s hands on his younger sister. 
“Hey I was just helping her mate '' Lando tries to defend himself. 
“Didn’t fucking look like it” George snaps back at him. Y/N stumbles back at the sharpness of his voice, pulling her arm out of his grip. “George calm down please, he's only helping me for god's sake, I nearly passed out- he found me!” she retaliated back at him pleading for him to listen and understand. 
“I don’t care Y/N, it didn’t look like that when I saw the two of you -  he's done his ‘job’ he can leave now” George refuted arms crossed in front of himself, still glaring down at Lando who appeared as shocked as Y/N at this outburst. 
Defensively putting his hands up, Lando sighed and turned to walk away - giving Y/N one last apologetic look which she shared mirrored before turning his back and leaving. 
“What the hell was that Y/N? George demands as Y/N’s gaze drops back to the floor. 
“I could ask you the same thing” He only huffs in response before she starts again. “He really was helping me - I collapsed by the bathroom’s, he found me and walked me back - you should thank him for saving your sister, not shout at him!” her voice raising, fed up with his childish behaviour. 
“He had his hands on you, I don't want to see him near you again” 
Y/N turns on her heel and charges past him into the hospitality, refusing to keep up such conversation with George, taking deep breaths to compose herself as she pulls out her phone with shaky hands.
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Way to ruin a moment bro
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thanks for reading <3
taglist: @bicchaan @lauralarsen @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @ssararuffoni @cherry-piee @eviethetheatrefreak @2pagenumb
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wanderingelvis · 11 months
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controversial elvis opinion: i honestly prefer elvis when he gained more weight to like baby elvis. i feel like hearing like 75!elvis comforting and holding you and calling you “yittle ‘un”. ahhhhh!!! the dream
i just wanna be his controversially young girlfriend who he dresses up like a doll!
the DREAM <3 I made Elvis have some darker, more controlling vibes here, I hope y'all like it!
🧚 Masterlist 🧚
Pairing: Controlling BDE!Elvis x Young Girlfriend!Reader
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Elvis is your whole life
No one has a hold over you quite like he does
You trust him absolutely, why wouldn't you? You don't know any better
And that's exactly why Elvis adores you
You're just a gullible young thing and even you'd admit that you can be a little dumb sometimes
But that's okay - because Elvis is there to think for you
You just need to sit by his side and look pretty
And you do a real good job of that, Elvis often reminds you
Honestly? Elvis has the final say in every aspect of your life
You look to him whenever anyone asks you anything, desperately seeking his guidance
From which of your pretty lil' skirts you're gonna wear or how much allowance money you can spend at the International Hotel, Elvis has the deciding say
Some might call it controlling but you like it, to you, it shows that Elvis cares about you and you haven't always had that before
So you just follow him around like a little lost puppy, with wide eyes and a lot of love in your heart for the big, old rock star that you call Daddy
Elvis also loves what a sensitive little thing you are
Even when you get a paper cut and tears will start forming
And you become a sniffling mess that is being pulled into his lap
Elvis will hold you, his big, strong arm tightly wrapping around your tummy to hold you in place as he coos at you
"S'okay, yittle 'un, Daddy's gotcha, ain't that right, brave girl?"
And you'll softly nod as he thumbs away your little tears from your rosy pink cheeks, letting out a small hiccup every now and then, making you bob up and down adorably in Elvis' lap
And that happens approximately three times a day
But you can't help being a crybaby, it's just in your nature
And Elvis doesn't mind, he loves being the one to comfort and hold you
He knows you get easily overwhelmed and overstimulated
In fact, he encourages it when it's just you two in his suite in the International Hotel, overlooking Vegas
He loves pushing you, his lil' doll, to your limits
And of course, he knows your limits better than you do
He always knows what's best for you
"S'too much, too big-"
You mewl through little cries of overstimulation and lust
"I know you can do it, baby, I know you can take it." Elvis will grunt, trying not to finish as soon as he sees your teary eyes roll back in pleasure when he fills up your tight walls
"Good girl, baby, doin' so good f'me."
He'll praise, as you let yourself go
All over him
And Elvis just know in those moments that he has something extra special in his life now that he has you
So of course, Elvis loves to show you off whenever he gets the chance
He'll make sure his pretty little dolly is always by his side
It's like you're on display for everyone to see, the King's prized possession
"Honey, give everyone a lil' twirl why don't ya? Show everyone how pretty my yittle 'un looks in yer new dress hm?"
Elvis will say midway through a rehearsal, through the microphone whilst he's stood on stage
Obviously, you'll do whatever you're told, and you give everyone a spin, looking up to the stage and keeping your eyes only on Elvis
And everyone will compliment you, making you blush and giggle
In those moments, Elvis will fall in love with you all over again
They make the controversial headlines all worth it
You're all his and he ain't ever lettin' you go
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